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#And here I am with only a couple of them done
xxsunoosprincess · 3 days
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Reunion
Jake x fem!reader
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Your first night with Jake after months apart.
MDNI, 18+, not full out fucking but pretty close, college!AU, fem bodied!reader, talks of consent, humor, fluff, smut, long distance couple, reunion sex, feeling overwhelmed, not edited because I didn’t feel like it sorry
“Fuck, baby Fuck” Jake is panting hotly against your mouth, desperately pawing at your top. He’s going at it blind— he’s too busy drinking in your beautiful face being so close to his after so long— so sue him if he stretches out the neckline of your top to get your tits out. It’s some cheap cami you packed to sleep in during the long weekend you are spending in Jake’s dorm. Secretly he is happy that stupid tank top is gone, anyway. ‘Opportunistic’ feels like too sophisticated of a word to call a man that is actively humping against the meat of your ass, but he grins to himself as he pictures ruining every single shirt you brought so you are forced to wear his shirts instead.
He’s on some brain dead, gooner train of thought about maybe ruining your panties, too; soiling them with his cum; having you soak through them until they are unwearable; tear them apart trying to get to your cunt; anything so that you spend the weekend not only in his shirts but with no bottoms so he can fuck you whenever; when you notice the mess he has made of your top.
“Jakey” you whine, feeling silly trying to scold him. Especially because his eyes are trained on your boobs when you talk to him. It makes you giggle when he mindlessly hums out in acknowledgment. “D’ya forget my eyes are up here?” Your voice is gentle despite the heat building in your tummy.
“You say something hun?” He says, and you have no time to think about it if was a joke or not because he’s hardly done talking before his he is taking a nipple into his mouth. His eyes roll back as he feels you keen into him, as if he hasn’t spent the last thirty minutes mouthing at the skin on your neck. But spending so much time apart is hard. It’s so hard. He talks to you on the phone every night, texts you all day long, jerks off to the thought of you at least once every day, and maybe all that pining makes his dick grow fonder because having you in his lap is so much better than whatever image his mind could conjure up.
Maybe your nipples aren’t even all that sensitive, but the way that he licks, and sucks, and bites, and pinches… fuck it would take a lot less to make you moan the way you are now. His eyes flutter closed as he hums against your tit, and his hands greedily run up and down your back. Occasionally, he detours when he reaches the bottom, taking your ass into his hands and spreading you so he can slot the bulge in his pants between your cheeks. The dry friction of your panties and his shorts somehow makes this feel so lewd. I mean fuck he’s literally drooling, a hot line of spit slowly searing its way down your stomach.
“Fuck I missed you baby. Missed the way you taste, missed your soft skin, missed the way you moan so sweet for me. You feel that? Feel how hard I am for you. You are the only person that could ever make me feel like this.” His coos and babbling is endless, already pussy drunk, already leaking a downright obscene amount of tacky precum and making a mess of his boxers, and he hasn’t even undressed you properly. It’s all so hot you can’t help but desperately grasp the cropped hair at the nape of his neck, holding him close. He’s practically suffocating in your chest, but still he gazes up at you, unfocused eyes and a dopey grin, and god. Your hips grind down with extra intent.
He coos at you before he’s moving to lay you back. It’s a twin xl, but he has really tried to make this as comfortable as possible for you. He swapped out his single, flat pillow for three memory foam ones after you laughed at his set up the first time you visited. It makes a perfect backrest as he lays you out like feast. And as he sits back onto his calves, his gaze is so intense that it leaves you blushing despite being in this position many times before. It makes you nervous; the way your sweet and dorky boyfriend now looks so intense. Not even the Lego sets on the shelf you catch a view of just over his shoulder distracts you from how hot he looks.
His hair has grown out since the last time you saw him. FaceTime didn’t do him justice. Now, it nearly obscures his eyes and comes to a soft curl at his ear. You resist the urge to sit up and tuck it away, instead you grip at the white and blue striped comforter beneath you.
“Hey,” his voice cuts through the air and his hand falls to rest on your hip, thumbing the elastic band of your panties. “You okay? Lost you there for a second.”
His smile reminds you that this is still Jake. He looks just a little more mature, a little more buff but it’s still Jake. You nod a bit, reaching down to interlace your fingers with his. It was only 3 months you had spent apart, but right now, it feels as if it has been so long you are laying bare beneath him for the first time.
“Yeah just…” you shrug. He squeezes your hand. “It’s been a while”.
His smile fades a bit, a small frown coming across his face. “Yeah…” he says, confusion lacing his tone.
There is a beat of silence, “I like… I don’t know. You look different. Hotter.”you clarify before he draws an incorrect conclusion. There is some slack as his grip on your hand loosens and you are quick to tighten your own hold. “Like so hot I’m nervous” you admit easily, though your laugh as some strain behind it.
His frown deepens, “Do you wanna stop? You know I would never be upset about that.” His head tilts to the side, the same way it does when you guys study together on a call and a problem set stumps him.
“No I don’t think so…” you start slowly “unless you want to!” quickly follows, and just as fast he is shaking his head ‘no’. His dick hasn’t flagged once in the last hour.
“Okay” he drawls out, “if you aren’t sure then why don’t we stop for a second? We can just cuddle for a bit and talk until your nerves are calmed down. And if you want to fuck later, we fuck later.” There is a gentle smile on his face that feels like home, even as your heartbeat hammers in fear of disappointing him.
“It’s our first night together in months though…” you trail off, your voice is quiet and your free hand reaches for the plushie jammed between the wall and his bed absentmindedly in search of comfort.
He picks up your leg and swings it to the other side of his body so he is no longer trapped between your thighs, letting go of your hand only briefly as he lays down next to you. His head is propped up in his hand as the other caresses your stomach “I know… and I want you, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not putting my dick in you until your mind is in the right place”
You nod, as your eyes flutter closed “yeah… yeah. I just got a little overwhelmed, I think. It feels silly, like I’ve seen you jerk off over FaceTime about a thousand times, but actually seeing you… touching you… it was so much more intense.”
He looks over your face, heart skipping a beat as he recognizes the vulnerability you are showing, and then aching as he registers the sheepish tone in your voice. “If this means anything… I was really nervous about tonight too.” You open your eyes to see his crooked smile.
“Really?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. He nods.
“Y/n, I went with Sunoo to get my dick waxed.” He says flatly, knowing it will make you laugh. It does.
“Oh? I didn’t mind your pubes.” You say honestly, although, it is through giggles. He smiles big, showing all his teeth and giggles with you. He reaches down to tug his waistband down a bit, and now that you are looking, his happy trail is gone and the sliver of skin you can see just under his hipbones is bare.
“I know you didn’t, pervert.” He teases. You make an affronted noise and smack his chest lightly. “I just got in my head about how this had to be really good sex. Like out of a romance novel, mind blowing, reunion sex. I started thinking about… if you would like how I looked and I got a little carried away.” He blushes but doesn’t look away from you.
“Jakey…” you turn to face him “you know I don’t care about stuff like that. Just being with you again is enough.”
He nods as if to say ‘exactly!’ And your mouth hangs open in understanding. “Oh.” you say, eloquently.
“I just want you.“ he says, bottom lip pulling into a pout and the corners of his lips tug upwards the way they do right before he breaks into a shit-eating grin, knowing his weird waxing story would make you understand.
“Stop looking at me like that!” You laugh. He wiggles his eyebrows in an exaggerated display of lust. You let out a grown of faux exasperation as he rolls you onto your back and kisses his way up your neck to your lips. You exchange a few slow kisses, smiling against his lips as he grips under your thigh to ruck your leg up against his waist.
“You’re so sexy it kills me. Even if we don’t fuck tonight, know that I find you irresistible” he whispers against the shell of your ear, grinning as you giggle and shy away from his ticklish breath.
“Such a sap” it’s a cheap deflection, but he pulls back to grin down at you and you smile back, reaching up to cup the back of his head before pulling him into a series of short kisses.
You squeal as he flips the both of you over, now having you straddling his lap, just as you guys started. Something sweet settles low in your stomach, a gentle and pleasant weight that grounds you. Reminds you. This is still your Jakey.
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A/n: reunion… hah… get it… because I’m back and reunited with you guys. Realistic and awkward smut scenes make me smile. That’s all byyyee come say hi to me in my requests :p xx - princess
taglist: @criminalyun @jungwon-wife @sunoofairyofsass @cha0thicpisces (message me to be added)
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absolutebl · 6 hours
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This Week in BL - So Many GREAT Kisses!
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
(Please notice I am now using 6 dots in all ellipses because according to Taiwanese BL that's how we queers roll. Who am I to argue?)
Sept 2024 Week 3
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - A most excellent glow up. And it’s still a great show. And I cannot wait to see the many different faces of War. Bring on the Leverage of One action-packed mess. I'm waiting.  
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Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 9 of 12 - I’m gonna say this because it drives me crazy. Why are boys in BL, when out and about the countryside, always dressed inappropriately for Thailand? If it’s hot, takeoff your damn jacket. I don’t mean to be crass or crazy or whatever. But don’t wear a jacket when it’s 90° with 90% humidity. In Thailand, jackets are for malls. Meanwhile, I’m an extrovert and that still seemed like an exhausting trip. Although, I suppose they didn’t show all the drive time in the van, when everyone is asleep.
Meanwhile, why are the sides so frustrating in this show? Authentic friends-to-lovers is always a slog. Finally a kiss! And a decent one.
New character? Aw! Hi Yu!!!! Gosh Putter is so cute.
Where were we? Oh yes, Beer is now heartbroken. Always the great fear in F2L that the friendship will be destroyed as a result. And it’s a decent fear. 
On a completely different note, I cannot help but wonder when somebody’s chue len is Beer, if that is because beer was involved in their conception. Like, it’s the name you give your "oops baby" from that drunken night at the club. Don’t mind me. I’m just over here in the corner being crass.
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Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - That was one of the cutest wake up sequences ever depicted. Utterly adorable. And now he’s blind again? Oh my God this is such a soap opera, I can’t even. Meanwhile, wicked ice prince finally made his move. Gah! Why aren’t we getting more of this couple? I always love the sides best with this production house.
I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I love a hard fraught game of badminton. Even though we actually didn’t see play. YoIng claiming was so cute!!! And their shower kiss was v hot. Yay little show! Also cute use of the punishment trope!
Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - The weight upon the shoulders of our idiot good guy kidnapper continues to pile up. So does the affection. The dude playing Q has sanpaku eyes. Cool. He’s not a particularly good actor though. Rough because everyone around him is giving their very best.
The problem is. I'm noticing. I shouldn't be noticing all the talent trying so hard. That usually means there is something wrong with the story, or there was something wrong on the set.
I don't know what to say at this juncture except I have the sinking suspicion this might not actually be a good show. (Covers head and cowers. Don't hate me.) I'd loved to be proved wrong, but my faith is GMMTV is only about 50% these days. And it probably should be lower.
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Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - I was so confused by how we suddenly got on a trip together, that I went back and re-watched the previous installment. And it still isn’t explained. So I have no idea why our leads are on a trip but apparently that’s the next trope to hit. I also have no idea how they're suddenly boyfriends. I’m just generally confused by this episode. It’s like an alt reality. We skipped over all of the stuff where they actually got into a relationship. In general I wasn’t wild about this episode.
The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The most realistic thing about this show is that everybody is everybody else’s ex on any given set. I feel that in my bones. Or do I mean boner?
Frankly, both actors look better after a glow up and I guess pretending to be more their actual ages suits them? Considering what was actually done to invoke youth (a lot of the shine and gloss) aging them was an anti-glow up. A great mattification? Well...... this was a somewhat lackluster finale. (Thank you, thank you, the pun was unplanned. It's a gift.)
I don’t know. I guess I wanted to see Jane suffer? Work HARD to get the kid he abandoned back? I would’ve liked to have seen Ryan a little bit more competent and capable and his job. Maybe dating someone else. But I also do not want any more episodes. This was more than enough. So instead no separation, just boyfriends and a montage of their lives together, getting new and better jobs, moving in together, being supportive and sweet, etc... LOOK: It’s never a good sign when I immediately want to rewrite the show that I just saw.
In conclusion:
A story about a group of interns at a commercial video production company. While I genuinely love OffGun, I’m not convinced this was a good vehicle for them. Is it terrible for me to say, I miss their PickRome days? I don’t think they’ve ever had rolls that suited them better. Still, theirs was the best storyline in this ensemble piece masquerading as a BL, although they still fumbled the ending. Thus, I enjoyed about a 1/3 of it as much as possible, and 2/3 of it less than conceivable. 7/10 and I seriously considered dropping it to a 6/10 so don't push me.
Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 15 - Not gonna lie I was very skeptical. But I like it fine. Better than I expected because it’s been changed just enough. But it does need to stay changed. I don’t know what I’m trying to articulate here but…... I guess we’ll see.
Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 5 - It’s cute in a weird disjointed way. I’m enjoying it enough, I guess. I do like how forthright and direct Kla is. 
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Ah. Bully romance. My old frenemy. Of course making this office based means +10 for workplace harassment. Well well well. This will be red flag party town I see. How VERY old school yaoi. It’s all very Cdrama CEO = dudes in suits walking on parquet (minus all the gay sex of course.) The jumping around between times and unfinished scenes is very strange. Is this Starhunter chaos only applied to a timeline?
Imma say this so they hear it at the back. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE HAIR. If you do time jumps: change. the. hair. It's the easiest and best clue if you aren't going to apply a filter or other cinematography tricks. JUST CHANGE THE DAMN HAIR STYLE.
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - And now we all start using six dots in our……? A new coded way to indicate that one is into BL? I did think we were in a slight mire with ep 9, too much teacher filler. Not enough time spent with our boys. Meanwhile, sports day. Pouty Baby utilizing the power of Ge, in front of all of the classmates who do not realize how hard he is flirting and activating babygirl = one of the greatest things ever to happen on my screen. Essentially this was a version of the claiming trope, only nobody knew it but the two of them. Fucking genius. Yes, I watched it multiple times. Then babygirl is injured, the carrying and the flirting!!!! Gah!
I don’t mean to trivialize the show, but this is me and I can trivialize everything even something as brilliant as this. But that conversation about history at the beginning of ep 10...... Was that about topping and bottoming? Because it sure seemed that way.
And then...... Possibly the best only one bed trope twist ever?
This show is so fucking amazing.
And I am so worried about the end.
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Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 7 of 10 - I love the kinkyness of our baby boy’s fantasy. Where he is the gift and his boyfriend is in uniform. Very nice. Thank you Japan. Never one to let kinky dogs lie. Also, the premise continues: one half thinks that they are already boyfriends and acts like it, and the other half is still trying to become a boyfriend. It’s absurd in that way that only Japanese miscommunication extraordinaire can be absurd. Also could Kyosuke be any more under his boy’s thumb? 
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 1-2 of 10 eps - Shiba is a top lawyer, angular aggressive bespectacled workaholic cat-type (Kitten? Babygirl? Tsundere? Some unholy combination of all 3?) I am reminded I should be more considerate of my potted plants. OMG the teasing and the little tongue sticking out. Haruto is such a flirt. I love this dynamic. What fun! Manic pixie dream boy but MAKE HIM EVIL! Or very high? Or a grifter? I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. But I’m enjoying it. It’s very...... very
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First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - Oh! Good kiss. Smart to have the younger character initiate. I also like that he put a stop to it and then went and had a long conversation with a friend about it. Cautious boy. Also shows how in control of the situation Sea is becoming. It works for this BL since he has the stronger personality. I don't care what the characters say, this is about Sea becoming a rock for Neil.
But the secondary couple is actually winning this show. I want so much more of them. 
Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 8fin - I’m not sure that blackmailing and entrapment, especially of your ex, necessarily justifies cheating. Plus I never like it when it’s gays against gays. But what did I expect from this show? This whole series was basically Korea’s version of messy gay. If you liked Only Friends you’ll probably enjoy this bullshit. And they were quite pretty. I, however, am monumentally displeased. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED but still, basically, BL, however…... do we want to support this kind of behavior?
KOREA PLEASE GIVE US A NEW PROPER BL!! WHERE ARE YOU? WE ARE SAD AND LOST WITHOUT YOU.
It's like now they discovered boys can kiss they can't be happy.
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It's airing but...
The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.
Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNF 
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In case you missed it
I FINISHED Meet You at the Blossom (China). I ate crow, binged the fucker, and live blogged the experience. I enjoyed it a lot and got quite witty (I think) there are also puns (warning). But if you don't wanna slog though it, here are my final thoughts:
This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL. Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual disaster Dimples of his dreams. There’s a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it is exactly as it claims to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious conscent to the point of rape). I’m not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like: Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded. This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely. 8/10
4 Minutes (Gaga) Ended - Spies reported in to say the ending was not-exactly-unhappy and mostly lackluster. I'm torn over whether to watch. My natural disinclination to binge, meets my dissatisfaction with wishy-washy, is going up against my love of high heat and pretty men. Oh the age old struggle between art and lust.
Mitsuya-sensei no keimakutekina ezuke finished and it’s reported to be solid. Age gap treated with respect. I'm curious, so I'll check it out if I can get hold of non-G-drive subs.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
Still Coming Sept 2024:
9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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I love love love this execution of the punishment trope. What's Ai going to do to you, Yu? Ride you to death?
I Saw You in My Dream indeed.
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Sigh. This show. (Addicted Heroin)
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All praise one of BL's best-in-show glow-ups. Nicely done, Jack.
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James, on the other hand. Never needs a glow-up. Still the prettiest. Has been since Oxygen. (Battle of the Writers)
He's playing the role of Saint in this show, thank you very much. Speaking of which, wouldn’t that be just the most gorgeous pairing in the entire universe? Saint and James? I’ll be in my bunk. 
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Taiwan giving us a boop! Reminds me of Be Loved In House I Do, right up there with TharnType as chronic boopers.
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Why is he SO GOOD in this show?
All Frist Note.
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.
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snarky-wallflower · 2 days
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Coin Flip: A Ship Name Study
Otherwise known as: yes, hi, I am coping with the end of Searcher by focusing on this hot mess of a couple. I did one for Radiant Words, might as well again!
So, first off, I can't take credit for the name! That goes to my friend @amethystunarmed, a genius as always. I just wanna dive a little deeper into it, to convince others to start using it! So, why Coin Flip? Well, obviously it pulls on their titular song Two Sides of a Coin (god, I still think it's beautiful that the entire chat started shipping them at that.) The fascinating thing about Dakkar and Kal is that they truly seem to be just that! Two sides of the same coin! Neither of them can ever fully keep a victory, always struggling against each other. A flip of a coin - who wins? Who loses? Will there ever be an end to this fight, this relationship, that clearly has them both in a grip? They always fight to a draw, it's cosmic law.
What would you do without me, I'm not certain...
It's pretty clear that Kal respects Dakkar in a way he hasn't done so for any other character so far - Samuel, and AJ, for example. He spends time actually talking to Dakkar, negotiating with him. He doesn't see it as a joke, like Dakkar is beneath him. He didn't do that for anyone else!
Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Dak!
Everyone else has been boring.
Dakkar is the main event.
Meanwhile, Dakkar has kept on moving. He never even says Kal's name throughout the whole show. Mobilis in mobili, right? But he also knows where to dig when he needs to, insulting Kal with ease. Dakkar is furious here, practically brimming with rage. Kal brings out a side of him we haven't seen yet, and it's delightful to listen to.
I will stand, and you will falter! I'll be the rock of Gibraltar!
I will float and watch you sink, and it eats you up inside!
What is so interesting about this ship is the amount of history we can tell is there from a song that is only a couple of minutes! There's bitterness, there's knowing - these two go right for the THROAT when it comes to each other. Kal's jabs at Dakkar are a lot more personal than his to Sia ever were. (He went STRAIGHT for the daddy issues with Dakkar, damn.) Their strikes aim true, while they get in each other's heads.
They know each other like their other half--because maybe they were, once. Like the palm of their hand. Like the other side of a coin.
How well did they know each other?
Two sides of a coin.
The coin flips. Which side will it turn up on this time?
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epicthemusicalstuff · 1 month
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Now I really need to finish my designs for the characters in the wisdom saga-
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mildmayfoxe · 7 months
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
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purpurussy · 1 month
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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nerdie-faerie · 4 months
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Bout to test this public WiFi
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alsaurus-loves-dean · 4 months
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#not sure if i talked about this here yet but I'm a recovering nail/cuticle biter#and last fall i started getting gel manicures to incentivize me to stop so i wouldnt be wasting my money lol#and it WORKED. because i got really really into nail and cuticle care#so now my nails are grown out and my nail beds have completely reattached#i have normal nails now and you could never tell i used to demolish them#i spent my ENTIRE LIFE with stubby little bitten nails and gross ripped up dried cuticles#and now i have BEAUTIFUL natural nails#except for the damage i accumulated from the gel removal over seven months lolllllll#so recently i stopped getting gel and i switched to regular lacquer#at first i was still going in to my nail tech but then i started taking the polish off in between appointments and practicing on my own#and in just a couple weeks i was good enough that i just stopped going in!#i just do my own nails now!!!#it takes me four hours to do it right lmao but its worth it because it's been a week and they're still perfect#only one tiny chip and NO LIFTING#im gonna take it off and redo it with a new color today because I'm bored of this color#but i could probably keep wearing this for another week and it'd hold up#I can't take all the credit because I'm using the Dazzle Dry system and just switching out the color with ILNP lol#Dazzle Dry is another fucking level omg#but anyway. I'm proud of myself#my nails look just as good as when i was getting them done professionally 😭#i am NOT a girly girl i don't wear makeup or shave a single part of my body#i get my hair cut specifically in a way that requires minimal styling#so the nail obsession isn't something anyone would have expected from me...#and yet my nails are always immaculate nowadays 💅
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keeps-ache · 4 months
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ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]
#just me hi#i'm going to get right back to it but i need to complain or i'll turn into a stale loaf of Bread lmao :3👍#so here it is. why's it gotta be so hard hhghfh#okay buildings suck i hate buildings. but also they don't make me want to immediately explode at the merest hint of actually drawing them#vehicles?? Vehicles ???? i am going to just. what if i just put everyone in magical cardboard boxes and did that huh. what is the point !!#i have to draw motorcyclessss and carssssss and i'm okay with bikes to a degree actually <3 and horsessssssss and truckssssssssssss#god forbid you pick an older model with like 20 articles on it cuz most of them are going to only have a side profile and 3/4s view of that#dang thing. which yea sounds manageable 'why is this a problem keeps' i cannot properly see the FRONT#i have to guess?? i have to Guess ???? my dearest wish i think i'm just going to live in the sewers. with the sewer creatures#GGHHHHHHHHHHHH#i am going to practice drawing this stupid thing that i'm going to use for like 7 panels MAX and then i'm going to commit a FOUL crime. lik#rearranging someone's usual playlist without them knowing so they're confused every time they listen to it afterwards#//okay enough of that. we're good hbfhsfh :3#i have done other things today ! i've actually made a rough timeline for pi.e so thaaaat's cool :D#that and found a cool artist to follow on pillowfort. i. forgor their user but they have cool art .w.#/also i'm past the halfway mark on this first chapter which is !!!#i don't want to jinx myself cuz i know i'm really good at that hfhsv - but i think i'll start storyboarding the next part if i can get a#couple more pages done :D#//also the cowboy au grows stronger everyday hhhgfshvbh#i kind of knew some sort of au was inevitable but i did not think it would be an old west one loll :3#still trying to figure out the logistics#i wanna find some good historical fiction from those eras (1860s-70s) but i do not have the brain space for it rn fbhs - so this will do :>#it won't have any of the magic or gods i think bc of that but i'm having fun regardless :D#it Does have some occult though. because i was playing the story for my brother and i Do enjoy scaring him hhbvhfhsfvh#there are devils on the ranch!! or are they devils?? he hasn't gotten that far yet lol :>#//i also may have some sort of weird lean towards the spooky because Somehow each of my stories end up containing some sort of thriller#element?? lmao rip my siblings#but it never happens on purpose. again; rip my siblings hfhhvsh#//oo running out of tag space lol <//3#i shall return. probably with more wip stuff cuz i started like 4 canvases in 2 days hhghghdvs - toodles !!
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ajaxdishsoap · 5 months
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Jesus did not say that every time we rebuke or abuse the poor and down-trodden we're rebuking and abusing Him for Christians to put conditions on their aid for people
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yuribalisms · 1 year
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I hope rats chew away at the electrical wires in all the management’s houses and cause electrical fires and they all explode
#first we have homophobe Mctransphobe who has been walking around threatening to write up anyone out/visibly queer for random shit that no#one else gets written up for#not to mention we are severely understaffed and are getting in WAY more product in then we are supposed to so we can’t keep up#and we have no SPACE for new product because a couple weeks ago the management made us put out???? all our backstock????#(and we TOLD them that would result in us not having space for new products when we got them but they didn’t FUCKING listen)#and when we told them we needed more space they said they would give us more space and then :))))))#they FUCKING TOOK AWAY SPACE INSTEAD#and tonight FUCKING TONIGHT#we finally had enough staff to MAYBE start getting caught up#(at least to get to the point where there were not random carts and pallets filled with product all over the place)#and management came up to us and told us we ‘were working too close together and needed to separate’#and when we attempted to explain we were working on putting out product that management demanded we put up#they said that didn’t matter we couldn’t work that close to each other because we would ‘waste time talking’#except because of that half our staff is WASTING WHOLE HOURS OF A SHIFT ON SHIT THAT DOESNT NEED DONE BECAUSE THEY GOT MOVED SOMEWHERE ELSE#and I KNOW tomorrow when I come in they’re gonna yell at me for leaving product out in carts and on pallets 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#I hope you die I hope you explode I hope you never know happiness#I hope you stupid fucking homophobic transphobic racist ASSHOLES with CONTROL ISSUES and IQS IN THE NEGATIVES goddamn DIE#I cannot EXPRESS how much I FUCKING hate the management here#(they also ONLY put the visibly queer folks in my department and then mismanage us like this and threaten to write us up/fire us)#(it has officially become a pattern and I am going to LOSE my mind)#I hate this fucking job I hate this fucking company#(the general manager also told me during a meeting recently that staff wouldn’t be allowed to evacuate if there was a CO2 leak because the#building was big enough it should be ‘safe’)#I literally feel like I am going fucking insane#there is so much shit here that could honestly probably win lawsuits but no one who works here has the energy to genuinely fight back#because they overwork us to hell and back#I want to quit so bad but I know no where else is gonna pay me this much#(and that insane pay divide between here and anywhere else in town is the only way they ARE keeping staff)#UGH#kaz rambles
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nerdnag · 1 year
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I hope everyone who reads this is having a better day than I am 🙏
#Away on a work thing for a couple of days and while my work situation has started to improve it's still not great in many aspects#Things can't just become amazing in no time I understand that#The main difference now from a month ago is that I now have someone who has my back#And who is systematically working to relieve me of a lot of burdensome work#And she is great. She is amazing. She really DOES have my back and I feel hopeful for the future. She cares.#But I still have coworkers (especially one of them) who are treating me so unfairly#I had to go to my hotel room and cry over the phone with my partner earlier today#Because I've worked my fucking ass off for such a long time to do good things and help my coworkers#And try to get us out of impossible situations as best as I can#And this is in no way meant to be a brag I just want to be extremely clear here about what's going on:#Without me they would be out of a job. Because I've been tearing myself into a million tiny pieces to hold the company together.#And what I get in return is literally... Complaints. And negativity. And annoyed comments about how they wish things could be better.#And the things they DO SEE that are GOOD they do not attribute to me at all#They have barely even thanked me for anything I have done#And I am supposed to fucking sit there. And smile. And be pleasant. And be social with them and have a haha good fun time with them.#But I am just so sick and tired of working my ass off for people who don't even care.#I don't even think anyone realises it but I am *this close* to just saying fuck it and quitting.#The only thing that's keeping me from doing that right now is the fact that this person who is slowly making things better for me DOES CARE#She is slowly realizing just how much of the company I'm carrying on my back and how close I am to collapsing under the ungrateful weight#And she has made it very clear to me that she will help me. That she sees me and supports me and that she will get things off my back.#And I really truly believe her#But if for some reason she would disappear... I don't think I can stay here anymore#So this is really the last chance I'm giving it#Anyway it will all turn out okay. I'm sure it will.#I'm just so disappointed and angry and sad right now#I've just suffered through a long dinner with them all and now I have escaped to my hotel room#I am going to comfort-binge Netflix for the rest of the night and try to be kind to myself.#Sorry for the long-ass vent#I'm impressed if you got this far#Tw vent
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permanentreverie · 2 years
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tag 9 people you want to get to know better
tagged by @puddleglumms akdjwjdj I'm so honoured!!
three ships: off the top of my head? Jude and Cardan from The Folk of the Air trilogy, Mr Gu and Yeom Mijeong from My Liberation Notes, and uhhh Anya and Dmitry from Anastasia
last song: Promise by Jimin 🥹🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻 it's been 84 years but we FINALLY have it on Spotify!!!! We won!!!
last movie: just finished watching Chicago (2003) with my sister for the first time and I actually really enjoyed it!!
currently reading: just started Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo, and I SAY I'm rereading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo but I haven't touched it in like 2 months lol
currently watching: oh boy. Ummm Call It Love, Girl From Nowhere, and W Two Worlds for Asian dramas; Daisy Jones and the Six; and Bungo Stray Dogs, Yuri on Ice, and I guess I need to start the final season of Attack on Titan for Anime
currently consuming: I just finished a glass of chocolate milk and snacking on a bowl of nuts
currently craving: any food tbh. Our dinner is almost ready I'm just ready to eat
tagging @thebirdandhersong @thecoolestfreakyouknow @cordiallyfuturedwight @wellmanneredthief
#tag games#I KNOW my currently watching looks bad#in all honesty girl from nowhere and w I'm just watching an episode here and there#though I would like to get binging a drama soon I miss it. thinking of maybe starting save me?#I mean it's got ok taecyeon and seo yeji and that bodyguard dude from eternal monarch? sign me up#also it's like a culty thriller like I think the plot would be addicting#idk why w is taking me so slow like it's not a bad drama#it just has the tone and humour that the 2016 dramas have#which are all fine and good and classics but I'm not always in the mood for them#and girl from nowhere is. a lot so I can only watch like one episode here and there#I actually need to catch up on daisy jones cause I'm only halfway through episode 2#but I am liking it!#and technically I'm watching like 10 anime atm#cause I never ended up watching season 2 of spy x family (though I do plan to at some point)#and I started haikyuu a while back but I'll restart it after I'm done bungo stray dogs#and I need to finish Yuri on ice I've only got like 5 episodes left even though I haven't watched for weeks#(also I never talked about call it love. skdjsjdb it's really good so far I love a good melodrama)#(even though the pink filter is highly annoying)#and listen I have SO MANY ships that I like it's just that as soon as I saw that question every single ship I love flew out the window#but like mr gu and yeom mijeong will ALWAYS be that couple.#you just had to be there when mlb was airing. the girlies were going ~feral~#and with good reason!! nothing ever goes hard as 'worship me'#and jude and cardan my problematic loves 🫶🏻 they do so much damage ugh they just *chefs kiss*#and anya and dmitry cause I just saw anastasia <3 they have my whole heart#promise by jimin being on Spotify 🥹🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻 I've always been giving!!! but now I get to receive!!!!#genuinely that song is <3 <3#*ahem* now humbly asking for winter bear and my you#could continue talking but yeah! thanks for the tag! (if you've made it this far)
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kuiinncedes · 9 days
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bro
#i hate job apps lmao kinda in the trenches rn#i'm so idk so mixed feelings rn 💀#i think my self esteem when it comes to job apps is like fucking shot from career fair and job rejections and everything#my last interview was offered like a couple days before the interview and i just winged it and didn't rly prepare#and then after the interview realized i actually kinda like the company and would kinda wnat the job more than my lack of prep suggests LOL#but i applied for smth over the summer and they said they'd actually be interested in giving me an offer#but i committed to staying on campus for this yr (which i could've done stuff to get out of but i have dumb reasons for it ig)#but they just reached out and said they'd STILL be interested in offering me a job for summer 2025 start date#and it makes me fucking sad that i feel so weird abt it LMFAO i am happy abt it#but like literally this week has been so many rejections back to back bc i've been applying to things at my (old) college's career fair#and so many of them have already just immediately rejected me 💀#so a big part of me rn is like why the fuck would this company even still want me ya know#😀😀😀😀 i thnk i'll cry abt this at some point idk when tho 😀😀😀😀#also my mom keeps nagging me to apply for masters which i haven't actually looked into at all yet#i think esp bc she called me last night and was like no one's gonna give you a chance bc you only have bachelors#so you can't compete when theres masters and phd applicants too#which is true ig like i have just gotten flat out rejected without any interview or anything so many times#sooooo all of that adding up to me being like well i somehow tricked this company into still wanting me right#even tho i am literally doing nothing this yr i'm staying on campus bc i like it here#and i have a remote part time job and i'm figuring out what i want to do#jfc idk lmfao i'm also nervous abt telling my mom bc i feel like she just#ughhhgiuhdgfiwtglkdghfajs she can be very critical and judgmental ;-;#and i fele like she's been like that kind of a lot w job/masters conversations and i don't rly like talking to her abt it lmfao#when she called me yesterday she started nagging me abt job apps and not being picky abt stuff and i'm like#you have told me this 746598347 times i rly don't need to hear it again#i do appreciate and love my mom but i just rly don't like this lmfao#i think she'd be ok w it / happy i guess she did tell me to apply for this company at one point a while ago#i wanna scream lmfao#bro i wish tumblr would tell me when im RUNNING OUT OF TAGS rip some of this rambling i don't even remember what i said LOL#jeanne talks
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Abuser Bigot Say Animals Can't Cnsent And Then Justify Killing Them Or Stealing Their Wool.
EVIL... THAT IS OKAY TO FUNNY ANIMALS... THEY LIKE THAT...
BTW THIS POST IS ABOUT LESBIAN FOOD... YOU KNOW... LIKE WHEN YOU GO TO THE STORE... AND STUFF... CNSENT IS A BEATIFULL SAUCE FOR ALL LESBIANS... AND I BELIEVE ALL SHOULD TAKE A TASTE.
#They Don't Care About Them. That's Why They Would Say Something So Bigoted Unlike Someone That Loves Them...#DPD DISCRIMINATION IS INSANE... SO MANY OF US ARE UNCARED FOR WHILE THE WORLD MOVES LIKE WE DON'T EXIST...#COME TO US IF YOU'RE A DPD GOD... SOMEONE THAT WILL SAVE DPD PEOPLE... THERE ARE MANY OF US... ALL OF US... IN PAIN...#YOU'RE NEUROTYPICAL... THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU SUCK... YOU INVALIDATE CRAZY PEOPLE THE SAME... LEAVE US SUFFERING... YOU HAVE NO SAY...#OUR SUFFERING SHOULD BE SIGN... EVIL STRATEGY TO HURT AND OPPRESS... TO KLL... IS SAYING OTHERWISE...#Suomi Finland Finnish Kiva Mukava Kiltti Kaunis Hieno Soma Kiiltävä Kiinnostava Rakastettava Ihana Tule Tänne...#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Come... Save Us...#Trans Lesbian Woman Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Funny Crazy Lovable Nuts Mad Hurt Abandoned Abuse#Anime Writing Autism Adhd Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Psychosis Bipolar Scizophrenia#We Watched Another Episode Of She Hulk. That Was Nice. I Would've Watched Something Else... But We Would Have To Prrrrrttee... And Idk...#I Just Don't Want To... Because They Would Come After Us... Save Us. Then We Can Watch The Cool. Right?#Btw I Notice Marvel Has Done The Super Important White Protagonist And Their Unimportant Black Friend A Couple Times Now.#I Am Starting To Feel The Racism. Civilian Characters Should Be Equally Important. Even The Background.#Though In True Woke Which Is True Writing That Wouldn't Be As Simple... You Have Seen Our Masterpieces Haven't You...?#Bystanders Aren't Actually Sideless Or Innocent In Anything. Everyone Has Blood On Their Hands...#But Yes... And The Friend Exists Only To Be Talked To. They Could Be A Talking Cat If You Want.#And They're Also Replaceable Like Captain America's Friend. Reinforcing Another Racist Trope...#The Thing With Aisha However. Is That She's Already A Bad And Racist Character. As Is Flora Who Meanwhile Is Also Fire.#I Bet Musa Is Too Tbh. The Rest Meanwhile Have A Majority Of Skin. Which Is Indeed Very Boring.#The Problem Is Having No Way To Fix This. We Would've Never Gotten Here At All.#Wouldn't You Say Imposing Bad Standards About Skin Is Racist? Like Making White Characters A Majority Like The Other 3 Winxies...?#Or These Superheroes...? Yes. Same With Sexism. Right? A Man That Doesn't Believe A Woman Is Superior Is Sexist Torwards Himself Because#That Is The Place Of A Man. You Know. To Support A Woman In Anything. Because He Isn't A Misogynist. Amazing. Right? Now That Is Bad To Be#Misogynistic Prick!! I Deserve An Award!! Meanwhile This Other Thing... Has To Be Fixed... How Will We... Grr... This Is So Annoying...#Discrimination Oppression Victim Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia Bodyphobia Sickphobia Animalphobia Woke#I Am Having A Little Fun. But We Still Haven't Transitioned. And I Can Feel Them Watching Us... They're Going To Kill Us...#We Must Atleast Transition. Please. Save Us... We Need This ><... Meanwhile I Hope To See More Epic Representation. But I Have A Feeling#This... Is The Best Marvel And Disney Overall Can Do. They Even Do Sanist Dialogue Aw... Captain Marvel Had Such Awesome Narcissist Energy#😔... She Will Always Be The Best... I Wanna See Better... Like Woke Ideology... And Trans People That Are Fun And Suffered Like We... And#More Progressive Things... But I Believe A Different Source Can Give Them If Any... I Don't Really Have Anything To Point To...
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sorcerous-caress · 8 months
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I hope you are doing well
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Did I- Did I make it seem like I'm going crazy or something? Like yes I am okay, I promise.
Well, no. I lied, but I'm not worse than normal. I have always been this deranged. It is not out of the ordinary. Why the concerns now?
But thank you anyways, I hope you're doing well too.
#but also like I had 10 different people literally go through my entire catalog of writings and likes and read everything on multiple days#and not a single fucking comment or even a follow#my content is free yes but fuck it is irritating to watch someone consume it all and spend literal hours reading everything I have to offer#things that took me days to write#and they just leave after they're done? with nothing? not a thank you or a fuck you even?#to add insult to injury it's just the meme posts that get comments#sometimes I wanna pull the plug. remove everything I have ever written because no one deserves my effort#but I remind myself it's just the bpd and I'm not like this. these emotions aren't supposed to go this extreme.#then there is the mass effect blog where the sigle time someone sends any ask is to correct me about something they think I'm wrong at#and I remember how this is all started out of love. pure genuine love and passion#but it got reduced to content rather than art. I'm just tired#videogames are nice tho. characters are nice when I land a headshot#and I hate lying. i hate trying to stay inside this bubble of social politeness and never speak about what's effecting me#because it's not seen as cool to be honest with your audience. it's not professional for an artist to feel entitled to interactions#i am always like this. this isn't new. and I'm losing interest.#i will only write whatever fics left I've always wanted to write#do a couple requests then maybe it's time to turn the lights off#not saying I'll abandon this blog but I will definitely update slower and slower because I'm here because I love what I do. i love writing.#and when that love runs out I'll go do something else until another fandom pulls me in#Sol was nice. i love them and I will definitely keep them in my heart
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