#And he will be like. Ok but this is the same person who thinks a damn muk is cute

[justchillandshipit]

More thoughts:

I linked a post below that has me thinking about Tommy's actions & Eddie's place in the narrative. In retrospect, I 100% believe Tommy knows and understands that Eddie is likely going to be Buck's last. (as much as anybody can know this sort of thing.) I know Tim and Oliver said Eddie had nothing to do with the obstacles in Buck's relationship, but I think that was a partial truth on their part. Technically, Buck does spiral because of Abby and #stagefoureddiediaz has talked about the way Buck is still stuck on the hamster wheel. I think both of these things are part of the obstacles mentioned in one of Oliver's interviews. However, if you look only at those things, you overlook the Pink Eddie in the room. While I agree that Eddie didn't interfere or try to stop Buck & Tommy from being together, his friendship with Buck has remained a constant. (see the link at the very bottom for more about Eddie in the narrative.) If you check out Buddielifer's post, several good points demonstrate the breakup was about Eddie. I'll try to avoid repeating what was said there as I explain. My opinion does differ on a few small points, but I'll get to that later.

Ok. I'm going to talk about Tommy a little but stick with me. This is a Buddie post. I promise, and I do have a point. I do believe Buck was attracted to Tommy, not because he had some great destiny to be the love of Buck's life, but because he did a few really cool things while helping to save Bobby & Athena's lives. Plus, Tommy did it in the coolest way possible. Helicopter pilots are cool, or they would be if they weren't dating one-half of your favorite ship. lol. Before the kiss, Buck wasn't self-aware enough to fully engage with his sexuality, I suspect that he handled his attraction to Tommy the way he handled it with other men before we knew him as a firefighter.

As we saw in a flashback, when Buck met a man he felt attracted to, he processed those feelings by befriending him. It was the same with Tommy. That is why he was at the hangar that day. When he offered to buy Tommy a beer, I truly think Buck thought he was making a new friend. If you think about it, you can see this was a pattern for Buck. He did have a meltdown over Eddie when they first met (but with Eddie, bigger things were and are still in play) It doesn't change the fact that once Buck got past his initial jealousy or whatever that was, he threw himself all in with Eddie. It was part of his pattern and part of #stagefour's hamster wheel. (Endgame will have Buck get off the wheel and look around. The person standing there was never part of the wheel, but the person waiting for him to stop and get off of it.)

The situation with Tommy is probably closer to how Buck reacted to his friend who wanted Buck as a sperm donor. Buck actually followed that 'friend' to Peru. I have a post from a while back where I discuss Buck sending mixed signals. In his mind, he is making a friend, but he is also unconsciously flirting. Tommy was the first to push through and just kiss Buck. I don't think this was nefarious so much as an attempt to interpret the signals Buck was sending. (I'm sure many see Tommy as having bad intentions but stick with me. I'm trying to put him into the context where Tim claimed he wanted him to be seen. Tommy was supposed to be a mentor or a more experienced man helping Buck navigate this side of himself.) As a teacher, Tommy did help him navigate, but he also let Buck set the pace. Although never shown, we know Buck is a very sexual being, and the deleted scene with Tommy, Hen, and Karen confirmed that Tommy was just trying to keep up with him.

But I digress. Buck's intention to befriend Tommy ended the exact moment that Eddie showed up at the hangar with a huge smile on his face. Stoic Eddie who does not show his emotions was smiling hugely. Even though this is from Buck's perspective and he is an unreliable narrator, it is plausible to me that Eddie would be excited to go to a live fight in Vegas. Oliver and Tim have talked a lot over the past few weeks about how Buck spirals. When Eddie left with Tommy, Buck began to spiral in a way that we have never seen before or since. He was absolutely unhinged with jealousy. There is no way that Buck, who didn't even ask about Tommy's dating history until six months into the relationship, was that insane to get the attention of a man he has known for a few days or weeks. Now that we are pulling in new material from the current season, it isn't even remotely believable that Buck's reaction was about Tommy.

If Buck had experienced some sort of love-at-first-sight moment with Tommy, then he would have asked Tommy about his past at the beginning of the relationship. In fact, people entering into something serious generally ask about past partners in the first few weeks of getting to know each other or before sex. The fact that Buck didn't, is a change in pattern for him. Buck typically throws himself all in and then when things go wrong, he doesn't know how he got there. (Also part of the hamster wheel.) However, I attribute the difference this time to the fact that, subconsciously, Buck knows what he's feeling. He can use his body. (borderline sex addict). However, he can't bring himself to share with Tommy what he already shares with Eddie, but you know our unaware cowboy can't see it yet.

At the hangar, Tommy didn't have a feel for Buck yet. However, by the end of the Vegas trip, I think he had picked up a good idea from Eddie that there was something there. (not because Eddie has made some sort of confession, but because I'm confident that Eddie talked about Buck nonstop. I'm hoping that we get some sort of confirmation of this in the current season. I don't want it to be forgotten.) At any rate, whatever conclusions Tommy drew from his time in Vegas with Eddie and the time they spent hanging out afterward didn't bother him enough to refuse to date Buck. I do think Tommy was longing for the family and support he could see Buck has with the 118, but I don't think he was ever planning a wedding in his head. In fact, I know he wasn't. That's part of why he broke up with Buck.

Sidenote: (Thanks to StageFourEddieDiaz, for pointing out how Buck failed to understand the mission from Josh's speech because this is what caused Buck to shift from not letting Tommy get too close to asking Tommy to move in with him.) Until the conversation with Josh, Buck was actively shutting Tommy out of anything other than sex and possibly learning the ins and outs of the LGBTQ community.

Again, in the beginning, this didn't bother Tommy. He knew what Buck needed, and as he stated a few times during the sixth episode, Buck was hot and fun. If you need examples of Buck shutting Tommy out, I point you to anything that happened in the Halloween episode. I'm not saying Buck didn't care about Tommy at all, but he was holding back. The look on Buck's face as Josh asked about his feelings really said it all. I think this is probably why Josh was a little shy of the mark when giving his speech about comphet. Josh had to give a long list of, "Do you feel "this or that" for your boyfriend of six months," before he finally hit on something that Buck did feel. I don't want to get off topic or repeat too much from the linked post, I just wanted to illustrate that the jealousy from Buck's coming out episode was 100% for Eddie and that it was something that Tommy realized before entering the relationship.

I know there will be some disagreement here, but I also feel like Tommy's feelings for Buck actually were on the verge of changing, and he hadn't expected that. When they were standing at the grave, Buck gave his eulogy directed to Billy Boils. Tommy's face went through a series of changes. First, he seemed annoyed or concerned. I couldn't quite tell, but the more Buck talked, the more you could see of our Buck. The guy with a huge heart who can empathize with the skeletal remains of a criminal. I'll link the clip for you to judge. What Buck had to say to Billy was more open and revealed more about Buck's character than anything he had been saying to Tommy over the past six months. It was a small scene, but one that probably came back to Tommy when Buck suggested moving in together.

It was scenes like this one combined with Tommy's exclusion from group chat, etc., that probably helped to remind him that Buck's feelings six months ago were not about him and nothing had changed despite Buck's suggestion that he move in. Tommy's insecurities took over and reminded him what the inevitable end was going to be for them. He was the first not the last.

For the past six months, he's known that Eddie was between them, but you could see how comfortable he was with it. He didn't seem annoyed by Eddie's presence at all. I disagree with either Tim or Oliver when they try to play up that Tommy was Eddie's friend and this was natural. Eddie and Buck met Tommy at the same time, and Tommy was trying to shoot his shot by taking Eddie to Vegas. I don't know what was discussed between Eddie & Tommy during those few weeks where Buck was being left out, but it is clear that whatever conclusion he had drawn from the Vegas trip had been solidified by what happened on the basketball court, so much so that he wanted to apologize to Buck in person. We all know how that went, and I still think that was a good scene.

This brings me to the breakup scene itself. In the end, when Tommy talks about how he didn't see it coming. I don't think he was referring to the breakup. I think he was referring to the feelings he caught close to the end. He thought he would help Buck, provide a safe space for Buck to explore that he personally didn't have, and have some fun with a hot young thing, but he let it go too far. (His reasons are pretty much part of what Tim has said in interviews.) I don't think Tommy realized how much he had gotten caught up in the fantasy of Buck until Buck asked him to move in with him. I do think he's sincere when he says his heart would end up broken because, despite his feelings, he still understands there is something between Buck and Eddie even if they don't.

(One side note. I agree with Buck that first and last can be the same thing. I don't buy into the belief that you have to be with dozens of sexual partners, but I also don't think that would have been the case with Buck. He is a sexual character, and he's openly curious. I know people were mad about the interview where Oliver talked about letting Buck F#ck, but I think that would be in character for an upset Buck who was just dumped. It is less about his sexuality than it is about his abandonment issues and neglect trauma. That's my take anyway. We'll see what Tim does with it. I do think the part of Buck that craves monogamy already belongs to someone else, and the di was cast before Tommy came into his life, and we are back again to the hamster wheel.)

If you stuck with me this long, thank you. I know there are few, if any, fans of Tommy around here so I appreciate that you were willing to objectively view him the way Tim kept trying to present him. I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I rambled a couple of times, but I do understand Tommy is a problematic character. I consider that to be a writing issue that never got a satisfying resolution. I'm equally aware some people hate him simply because he was with Buck. I'm not doing a lot of judging these days because I already know how unreasonable I'm going to be over Eddie being with another man. After seven seasons of subtext, they are already in love. These other relationships are like cheating. lol I'm not so secretly hoping that if Eddie needed a "first" he got it when he was a teenager or when he was in Afghanistan.

I can tell I'm going to be bad because when I see posts about Eddie sleeping with a priest, I want to scream into a pillow and pretend that I'm flipping over furniture and tossing chairs across the room. I just can't be reasonable. I would never attack the actors or writers though. That's not me. My jealousy is on Buck's behalf, and my bad behavior remains entirely inside my head. I don't know what they'll do with Eddie, but they are going to need a chat group to make sure Eddie's boyfriends do not meet with Buck's subconscious mind.

Click here to see the meta on Eddie Haunting the Narrative from #buddielifers.

[bitchslapblastoids]

Ok this is so devastating but the way sufjan spoke about his partner’s death last fall made me think of d&p (when you know you’re in too deep….) sufjan had never come out or formally addressed their relationship prior. Then evans died and sufjan wrote an album about it. He posted a single beautiful photo and dedicated the album to the ‘light of his life, his partner and best friend.’ That was how he formally came out, and that was how he publicly proclaimed Evans as his partner, because what they had was personal and special and complicated and nobody’s business. And the fans who paid attention already knew and the general public wondered, but he only addressed it posthumously. And idk, knowing (speculating I suppose) how much of the music sufjan wrote this past decade had been about their relationship (almost certainly including futile devices) and how much of it mirrors Dan and Phil’s connection, his wording in the post really struck my Dan and Phil chords.

I hope this doesn’t read like I’m trivializing sufjan’s loss, grief, love, or privacy. I think the way he speaks about it is profound, arrestingly so, and I think the same about d&p’s connection.

Dan and Phil x Futile Devices - Sufjan Stevens

[canonicallyobserving911]

Bobby, Buck and Brad: In 8x7 Brad will be one of the “Wannabes”

He's obsessed with Bobby; he wants to be like Buck and his antics will likely lead to another Buddie and Bathena Parallel

I believe he's going to be the reason for the above call that will mimic when Buck was struck by lightning in 6x10 and I've included my speculation underneath the cut.

Before continuing, I need to make a point about the "Hotshots" storyline. Reminder, it's Bobby's arc therefore, whatever happens with it will be centered around him. However, Buck was enthralled in his own problems with Bobby's replacement (Gerrard) after Bobby left the 118 at the end of season 7. At the time, it was difficult to see how these things would be related later on but I think I figured out how things might play out.

Please note: these are my interpretations and observations and it's completely ok if someone doesn't agree because everyone interprets media differently. Two opposing opinions can coexist.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

Brad is a “fake” fire captain on the TV show “Hotshots” and he idolizes Bobby. Based on everything that was included in episodes 1-4, it's evident he didn't want Bobby to leave the show and go back to firefighting. It appears he has a "Hero Complex" and it's possible he's the one who fixed it so an actor will be hanging from the aerial like Buck was in 6x10.  He reminds me of Jonah but I don’t think he’ll be after everyone at the 118, just Bobby and Buck.

I did a post yesterday (linked here) about the similarities between 6x10 and 8x7 with regards to the lightning strike and I believe Brad is the one who's continued to STUDY Bobby’s past (he said he was going to do it in 8x1 while they were sitting at the same table) and he considers Bobby to be a "hero."

In episodes 1, 2, 3, and 4, he proved how mesmerized and captivated he was along with his fixation on Bobby and it was kind of weird.  He asked him to do a bootcamp with him and his friends in the mountains or at his house in Malibu but Bobby’s facial expression said, “Hell No” but Bobby always treated Brad with dignity and respect. He never belittled him and this fact will be reviewed again below. 

Furthermore, when Brad saw Bobby and Buck working together in 8x2 and 8x3, he was IMPRESSED and he tried to be like them during the airplane rescue. When he saw Buck commandeer that motorcycle and ride it to stop traffic, he called Buck, Bobby's boy.

He lied to the soccer player and said he was a firefighter but when she showed him her injured leg, he fainted.

Two things happened that intrigued me and reminded me of things that happened in previous seasons and they led to my speculation about him.

5x18 8x2

First, when I saw the way Brad followed Buck in the sneak peek video for 8x2 and the way he positioned himself right behind him, I figured he was crazy since he was already fixated on Bobby (related post linked here). And it reminded me of something I saw in 5x18 but it happened with Bobby and Buck. At the end of 5x18, after Eddie returned to the 118, Buck was walking in step with Eddie and within seconds, he was behind Bobby and you couldn’t even see Buck anymore (I did a post about what I believed it meant back then [linked here] and I still believe LD was there to do something to Buck but they changed her storyline and tried to make her a good person 🙄. Reminder she was friends with Jonah). But now it’s Brad who wants to be like Buck because Buck is Bobby's protégé and mentee and he will be captain of the 118 one day and it's been foreshadowed since season 1.  In 8x2, Brad did the same thing Buck did in 5x18 except Brad walked behind Buck and he was almost invisible until Buck stepped away and Brad got in the truck behind them.

5x3 8x3

Second, in 5x3, Buck was sitting in the captain’s seat when Bobby and the 118 went to go and help Athena so she could arrest Jeffrey.  In 8x2 and 8x3, Bobby and Buck were sitting exactly like they were in 5x3 with Buck in the captain’s seat and Bobby driving but reminder, they were in a FAKE fire engine.

Brad HATES Gerrard and in 8x4 it was easy to see especially when Gerrard told him that he doesn’t watch firefighter shows. He said, “ALL I SEE IS WHAT THEY DO WRONG.”   Also, he likes doing things the old school way and it was proven in 8x1 when he was talking to Buck and he doesn’t do things the way Bobby does them.  Therefore, it’s likely things on the “Hotshots” set aren’t going well and Brad wants Gerrard gone and he wants Bobby to come back.  I’ve included a video so the things Bobby, Brad, Buck and Gerrard said can be heard (GIFs are great but IMO, sometimes it's better to hear what's being said than to read it). 

Additionally, Brad thinks Bobby’s like “God” on set and he wants to be like him, so if Gerrard is pulling the same $hit he was pulling with the 118, it's likely Brad will try to get him fired.

In 8x7, I believe Brad will be the one to stage the scene to be like the one from the lightning strike and I think he’s doing it so that Bobby will go back to “Hotshots” and so that Gerrard will leave.  But I also think something’s going to happen and based on the narrative, Buck will be the one to get hurt and Eddie’s going to be the one to save him.

Bathena and Buddie have been paralleling each other for years but in season 7, Bobby and Athena had an NDE on the cruise ship and they had another one at the end of the season when their house burned down and Bobby died for 14 minutes.  But that was before TM (showrunner) changed the scripts after they got an early renewal for season 8.  I think if things would have remained the way they were supposed to, Buddie would've had an NDE too but it would have been both of them at the end of the season so they could have told each other, "I love you" like Bathena did when they were trapped inside of that room on the ship. 

Fast forward to season 8 and the opening disaster was of Bathena again but this time, Bobby was on the ground and Athena was in danger.  I think whatever’s going to happen at the end of 8A, it’ll be Buck in danger because of something Brad did and Eddie will have to use his medic skills and remain cool under pressure like Bobby had to use his firefighting captain’s skills to save Athena by shutting down the I-110 to create a runway for her.  Now all of this could change but reminder, Buck and Athena always parallel each other the same way Eddie and Bobby do so if this holds true then, Buck’s next up for another NDE with Eddie set to save him like Bobby saved Athena.  Bathena and Buddie Parallel posts linked here and here.

The purpose of this post is to offer speculation on why I believe Brad and the “Hotshots” are still around.  They’re there so that Brad can cause chaos to get Gerrard fired so Bobby can go back to the TV show but it’s going to end up in a cluster f~ck and Buck will be the one to get hurt.

[ppssession]

The hottest server

Long is a huge fan of body-swapping and other genres and is often on various Discord servers to talk to you about his interests.

One day, on a discord server, a strange link suddenly appeared. The sender said that it was a link that would allow those who clicked on it to receive a new body, and he also sent many pictures of handsome men, claiming that they were all his bodies.

On the first day, he sent me a picture of a big muscular guy.

The next day, he sent me another picture of a cute guy.

Of course, most people on the server don't believe it, they think it's a picture that the person copied from the internet.

But strangely, long thought that what this mysterious person said was true. long spent hours thinking about whether to click on this strange link, hoping that it was not a virus that would destroy my computer. long thought anxiously. Finally, he chose to click on the strange link.

As soon as I pressed the strange link, the computer screen turned completely blue. A message popped up. "Will you keep this a secret from society?" Long didn't hesitate to press OK immediately. A series of messages popped up one after another. "We will allow you to tell this to people who have the same interests." Okay. "This has a cost. Are you sure you agree?" "Okay." When Long pressed all, the user window appeared. This is a website for you to choose your new body. Here, there are many bodies for you to choose from, both male and female, of all ages, of all races in the world. We will let you use the body you choose for free for 1 hour. If you want more time, you have to upgrade your floor.

This website has a very good management system. It's been a while since I've found the race I want. He selected for a while and then pressed on the body of a handsome man. A message popped up asking if he wanted to use this man's body. "Yes." Note: Your old body will be paralyzed. You should put your old body in a safe place to prevent harm (including malnutrition from not moving for a long time). Do you agree to possess this man's body? "Yes."

As soon as the screen was pressed, it turned white, leaving the last message, Have fun. Long's body felt the electricity flowing into his body, his body slowly twitched, the images gradually darkened, long felt the surroundings gradually changing like he was swimming in a current. Cut to the handsome guy that long had chosen, his body while he was playing with his phone, his screen turned blue, a message popped up, Have fun. Suddenly, electricity slowly flowed into his body. It came from the fingers that touched the phone, the electricity slowly flowed up to his arms, neck, face, ending with the electricity. He went into the man's brain. "Ah." The man stretched out his chest, his body twitched, his eyes rolled back and forth until after a while, his body slowly calmed down. Long slowly opened his eyes in his new body. He liked the feeling in this body very much. He started to explore the young man's body back and forth, finally stopping at the large penis of the body. "Wow, it's not even hard yet, it's already this big." Long smiled before noticing the phone with the message on it.

He read the text on the screen of his phone, You are in Li Bai's body, then followed by some information, this man's age, birth date, family, when I read further, I saw the information of the website.

This website is a website where you can choose a body of any gender, age, or race. It is a secret that only some people know. The length of time you can possess a body depends on your level. When you register for the website, the system will set you to the "Pron" level, which has the right to use the body of another person for 1 hour. You can upgrade your level to receive more time. Long read until the point where you can upgrade your level.

Upgrade from Bronze>Silver(You can possess other people for 10 hours, cost 10,000$)/per month

Upgrade to Gold level (You can possess other people for 20 hours Receive memories immediately upon possession without reading history., cost 100,000$)/per month

Upgrade to Diamond level (You can possess other people's bodies forever without having to return to your original body. Not only that, you can immediately receive the memories of the body you possess without having to read the history that we will possess you via your mobile phone. We also have a security system that when you have an accident or are in prison, we will move your body to the safest body near you. The cost is 1,000,000 $)/per month

When Long finished reading, he noticed that thirty minutes had already passed, so he looked at how he could pay to upgrade his level. Fortunately, the website could accept transfers from all currencies and from all over the world. It would be no problem if he paid with his Yuan in $. However, he thought about where he would find so much money. He remembered to open the account of the body he was possessing, Li Bai, and found that there was so much money that he could possess this body easily. Li Bai was a very famous person in the country. He must have a lot of money as a top celebrity. He chose to upgrade to diamond level, the website immediately displayed a thank you message, “Thank you for upgrading to our highest level, hope you will stay with us for a long time.” Long didn't care much, he exited the website, he rejoined the discord with the strange link again, sending a picture of his new body, “Hey everyone in the server, I want to say that this link is real, you can have the body you want at a great price.” Sending Li Bai's picture into the group.

Don't forget to send me a picture of you in your new body. I'm looking forward to it, but I have to deal with the erection in my pants first… The new Li Bai.

[heliianth]

when you say that nanika is a reflection of killua’s “worst traits”, what do you mean by that exactly? :O

genuinely asking bc i’m super interested and curious !!

ok so.... while trying my hardest not to be reductive, Killua and Nanika occupy very similar social spaces. But before we can get there, I kind of want to lay down the groundwork first.

Here's Illumi (un)helpfully expositing Killua's self-image—the one he spends his entire arc desperately running away from—for us:

Killua's narrative has a lot to do with dehumanization and questions about nature—whether somebody can choose who they are or whether their circumstances decide for them, what makes a human being, all that juicy stuff. He's almost a soft launch for what the series forces us to consider later in the CAA, which is so rife with questions about instinct, nature, humanity, and evolution that trying to navigate its character web without running into a Killua foil is like trying to walk in the rain without getting wet.

Nanika is, like the ultimate escalation of this same thing—when it comes to Killua and questions of nature, she's the final boss. Nanika (or, our initial impression of her, what we are invited via framing to think first) is almost a manifestation—a literalization—of what Killua is scared of being.

I say that because, like... what is Nanika? What do other characters see her as?

Nonhuman

Extremely dangerous by nature

Valuable due to the services she can provide

Ostracized by both the Zoldyck family (Killua is singled out as the golden child) and the outside world—meaning, not entirely belonging to any defined social group, and unable to fully fit in

A dark counterpart to a comparatively sweet, bright, and innocent personality (Alluka)

All 5 of these points hit very literally onto sore points of Killua's psyche. At least subconsciously, in some way, these are all things Killua thinks about himself; he recognizes them in Nanika because the way his family reacts to her is the way "outsiders" react to him. And he ends up dehumanizing her the exact way he dehumanizes himself—we know because he ends up unintentionally using Silva's words of being his son (positing Killua as an extension of himself, indicating similar mindsets) as an appeal during negotiations:

(Some English translations don't even use Nanika because it literally means "something")

That's what I mean when I say they occupy similar social spaces, or are part of the same social group. And Killua treats her accordingly—as in, he projects:

(elaboration on that last example here)*

Killua even ends up projecting traits onto Nanika he isn’t self-aware enough to realize he has.

For example, Killua thinks of love as a very lopsided and conditional transaction in which, due to his negative social identity group, he needs to perform something adequately in order to earn. And he assumes Nanika thinks the same way:

This aspect of the way Killua treats his sisters is consistently tricky for me to articulate because Killua doesn't end up treating her meanly or even think of Nanika poorly because of these projections—a lot of this is subconscious, Killua doesn't even realize he's doing it at first—which is what you might expect from someone who recognizes reasons for self-hatred in someone else.

I think this is simply because, at the end of the day, all of these negative assessments are still about himself—only about only his own emotions, his own internalized judgement. It’s not at all about Nanika. She's still a separate entity, someone in need of Killua's protection, so Killua can't hate her like he hates himself.

*In fact, Killua wants the best for her, wants people to love her as a part of Alluka which can be good, like he sees his own ugly traits. He even refuses to take advantage of her dangerous abilities, like he doesn’t want his own to be taken advantage of. Its projection of what he wants for himself onto Nanika—acceptance and love even if she is some Inhuman Dangerous Thing.

I can sort of infer this because Killua becomes confrontational with Illumi specifically when it comes to denying Nanika/Alluka personhood in a way he only does when Illumi is denying Killua personhood, which implies to me that Illumi doing it to Nanika/Alluka vicariously feels like another personal attack (which he can actually retaliate against now without that fuckass needle in his brain).

And just in case you weren't convinced, we do know this is projection because Killua kind of just admits it (lol):

I want to yap a little more about this but I'll put it under a readmore because it's kind of off topic. So if you just wanted answers for why I think Nanika is such a strong parallel to Killua, then you already have them lol

This scene (the one pictured above the readmore) sometimes cracks me up because of Killua’s reaction—the way he immediately slaps his cheeks and blames everything on Illumi. It’s a sort of comedic reaction to such a heartfelt (and extremely brave) ultimatum on Alluka’s end. I’ve seen some people think it’s just Killua wanting to defuse the argument, to get Alluka to listen to him so he can start to apologize correctly. But I don’t think that’s true, I think this reaction and the way he immediately brings up Illumi is a genuine realization on his end—after all, Illumi's name or presence is kind of a visual, verbal, and narrative shorthand for Killua's insecurities and the self-image he's clawing himself away from.

Up until now, Killua's never really thought about Alluka and Nanika as their own people, whether that be them separately or even just Alluka by herself. He never gave them real agency; not because he’s physically carrying them and not because he's not asking what they want, but because he’s just projecting that hard. Alluka is also tangled up in his feelings about his childhood (and Gon, as another facet of his projecting and also just as a consequence of the reason why he's rescuing them in the first place), and Nanika seemed to give her so much trouble—in the same way Killua’s own undesirable traits give him trouble—that I don’t think it literally ever occurred to him that Alluka could have a different opinion than he does.

I think Killua assumed Alluka would react to the news of Nanika needing to go away the same way he reacted to the news of him needing to leave Gon—with pained acceptance. That situation is a direct parallel to the dilemma of putting Nanika to sleep. But instead Alluka YELLS at him, and it forces him into realizing that his idea of his sister(s) was wrong. They aren’t the same person as him, his projection was unfounded, and he hurt them because of it.

Which is why he only realizes that his fear of Illumi was influencing the way he was acting then, because now he can actually look at them and see anything but his own reflection.

These pieces of dialogue: “I've been afraid of Illumi for so long... I got scared... and said some horrible things to you,” really do kind of say everything don’t they? He saw Nanika just like he sees himself, he wanted for her and thought about her this way for everything: both the good (wanting her to belong somewhere, to be safe) and the bad (the dehumanization, the deprioritization).

Killua can recognize that now, and apologize for doing that to her. For being a bad big brother.

And not only does doing this help him actually empathize with Nanika and Alluka as people whose experiences are unique from his, but Alluka’s reaction also demonstrates to Killua a self-love that isn’t reliant on the outlier model established in the Hunter Exam by Illumi and reinforced by Killua throughout the CAA (particularly echoed in the "You are light" scene, in which he directly steals 眩しすぎて out of Illumi's mouth).

As a side note, these two chapters are named Light and Darkness and Light and Shadow respectively—Gon being "light" (the novelty, the outlier) both times.

Alluka loves Nanika—her “darkness”—enough to cut off the outlier (Killua) if he doesn’t love her the same. Seeing someone he puts in the exact same ingroup as him so shamelessly love Nanika, in whom Killua recognizes things he hates about himself, actually gets through to him (whereas Gon’s previous affections couldn’t because he saw Gon as so fundamentally different).

It’s extremely important that Killua asks for this forgiveness. In the hospital, when he was talking to Gon through the window, we can see Killua knows the importance of apologies. He failed Gon, so saving him would be Killua’s apology. And Gon failed Killua too, so saying “sorry” would be his apology for that. It’s less about roles now, not about values or groups—less about Killua being useful and Gon being light—it’s more about actions.

For Alluka and Nanika, “big brother” was the role he felt guilty for not fulfilling—a catalyst for his projections onto them. Now he’s confronted with real proof of this failure and he doesn’t end up breaking over it like he might've before. Instead he apologizes because, due to Nanika, he knows Alluka loves unconditionally. And he trusts her, trusts her judgement of him, and trusts that he’s lovable enough to be accepted by her despite his failure.

—

Overall, I think it's really important that Nanika is introduced to the audience as a scary unknown, and that our first impression is slowly dissolved over time. It's a pervasive pattern in all the characters meant to ask questions of nature—Killua himself, the Chimera Ants, Palm, even the Phantom Troupe. Togashi is, like, deeply concerned with humanization and I think it's awesome because you get these narrative threads like the one with Nanika and Killua, where his doubts about himself and his own ability to love or be loved are narratively answered via giving or receiving compassion for/from someone else. In this way Hunter x Hunter tells us that proof of humanity is the capacity for connection. And isn't that something to think about?

[kangals]

kep report card for october. how is he already almost a year old tf.

Leash Walking: 🟡/🔴 on a martingale collar he walks ok, though does need frequent corrections to remind him not to pull. on a harness he's much more pully and bruised the shit out of my hand recently. does a lot better when i'm walking him alone but i cant really do that much due to time limits.

Manners - People: 🟢/🟡 very good, just still working on not jumping on ppl.

Manners - Dogs: 🟢 no complaints, social butterfly.

Manners - Home: 🟡 gotten better about countersurfing but having some regression on settling in the house. and, of course. the piss.

Manners - Public Spaces: 🟢/🟡 will try to mark if i'm not watching him carefully but otherwise no complaints

Grooming: 🟡 fine if there's food, incredibly squirmy if there's not. need to work on weaning off food and tolerating restraint, since at some point he'll need to go to a real groomer.

Recall: 🟢/🟡 if i call him off a distraction he often comes immediately, but when we're just like chilling at home it's 50/50.

Crating: 🟢 whines a bit sometimes but gets over it eventually.

Fear/Anxiety: 🟢 no issues lately

Volume: 🟢 he really only barks when hes very excited (e.g. playing with other dogs, visitors have come over) otherwise he's blissfully silent.

Puberty: 🟡 LITTLE PISS BOY TAKING A PISS.

overall good, really the biggest problems we're working on right now is just that he's a large, strong, energetic dog who is still too baby-brain to have a lot of self control. i also dont think it's coincidental that these problems are arising as i'm coming off basically 2 straight months of very hectic work/personal stuff and have been very tired as a result. when we really focus together he does good (see: CGC acquisition) it's just getting that to translate to "ok now do this by default" that's the speedbump, but again, teenage dog and the expectations are low.

stellina i remember really dove straight into adolesence around 5 months old and that didn't stop until she was like 20-22 months. kep it seems like didn't quite go Full Stupid until like 9-10 months so we'll see if it lasts the same amount of time, though i'm really hoping not.

[gracemain919]

(The Fungus universe) short story:

Tw: Yandere, mind control, slight experiments

Summary: The military tried to test the mind-altering fungus.

(names the Mc ‘redacted’ since they are not an oc and neither ‘you’. It can be whatever you want it to be. Like if can be an oc or you)

Please!

‘Just take a deep breath’

‘Your safe’

‘This is for the sake of knowing’

“‘Redacted’ are you, ok?” a random researcher asked, the same researcher who started the whole experiment in the first place, as one of the workers watched over an observation window. Anyone would have thought they were witnessing a raging monster or person, but it was actually decently quiet in the testing chamber.

“I’m fine, just writing the results for today’s inspection,” the individual whispered, fearing that their words could be heard through the reinforced glass.

“Sure…,” the man replied, his gaze turning toward the unmoving person in the room.

“So, how’s Alex doing? Finally moved an inch forward or?” he raised an eyebrow as the researcher simply scratched away at their clipboard. “No, nothing for today.”

Pressing a button they turned on the lights even further, trying to get a reaction from the individual. A simple desk and chair, a simple man sitting inside. Staring directly at them… Never even looking away. Discarding the mere concept of blinking just to see them. Truly worrying, causing chills to ever so subtly rise up their spine.

“I think we're done for the day,” the researcher stated, putting away their clipboard before pressing another button attached to a mike. “Good night, Alex. See you again tomorrow.” Their voice sounded surprisingly dead for such normal words used to make someone feel better.

Yet, they couldn't muster anything more. The fear of urging any unwanted behaviors always being on the back of their mind. The military wanted… no, craved answers for such a tragedy. The day that something as mundane as mold took over an entire site thanks to a simple oversight. Letting a whole evacuated site go in unchecked was begging for some form of trouble.

That’s why they needed to understand this phenomenon further. However, as days passed new results became scarce. Merely a staring contest before the researcher had to depart from their duties.

Was the test subject faulty? Why wasn't he doing anything?

They had watched corrupted claw the walls until their fingernails came off just to see their obsession once more. Now when the military tried to recreate one he just sat quietly. This was not going well.

“Another fruitless day?” a familiar researcher asked, turning his head in some newfound curiosity. “With that look on your face, I can safely assume, ‘no’?” Noah smiled trying to lighten up the mood as the researcher nodded printing some evaluation sheets.

“Nothing, I even tried to skip a day to see what he would do, but nothing. No signs of desperation or anything”. The researcher sighed, each failure only adding another weight by the military. They so desperately wanted answers that kept getting postponed every fricking day!

“Hey,” a sudden voice tore them from their panic. Suddenly Noah, almost a full-on stranger, placed a hand on their shoulder. Like a calming gesture. “The military can wait. Not like he is going to talk anytime soon. And the brain scans will not be done for another while-”.

“Oh, that we did do”

“What?”

The sudden heroism that Noah showed was washed down to sudden interest and worry. He seemed utterly shocked that something like that was done without his knowledge. “You didn't know?” the researcher asked while their shoulder was promptly released.

“No, I didn't… I. I thought I would know of such progress,” Noah expressed sounding quite saddened. “When are the results coming, next week, next month?”

“Tomorrow”.

“Oh”. Anyone would think he has been electrocuted by the way he suddenly became completely stiff. That monotone answer only adding to this reaction. Ok, this was becoming dramatic.

“Listen, when the files are ready, you will be the first person I show them to. How does that sound?”

“Why not let me take them? Save you from the trip? The least that I deserve for this nonsense”

Ouch, what a change. ‘Redacted’ didn't know he would start being a jerk, but ok. They didn't mind.

“Fine, all yours.”

When the scans were finally completed Noah went to pick them up. Well, the researcher guessed as he quickly left in the middle of the day. Yet, nothing returned. He was taking his sweet time…

“Hey, Alex. How are you feeling today?”

“….”

Ok, worth a shot. The researcher followed routine with their clipboard only to take a closer look at the man. Expecting to see his deadpan face, but something odd was tainting his features. The slightest hint of red flushed his nose and eyes. Making him look sick. Odd…

‘Ding’

‘Redacted’s’ phone vibrated causing them to look down. A new message was displayed on their screen. ‘Noah came to pick up the papers’.

Now? What did he do in those two hours-

The alarms suddenly went off. The entire site was shaken awake by the sound. Warnings being blasted multiple times all saying the same thing.

“Lockdown protocol. Make sure all doors a locked, and personnel stay put!”

Oh, shit. A lockdown. ‘Redacted’ was panicked. Quickly scrambling towards the door in order to lock it, but a knock promptly stopped them. “‘Redacted’ open the door! Someone has broken into the facility. Please open the door!” a familiar voice pleaded. The researcher had no reason to decline…

A very scared Noah was let inside, his hands finding balance on the lab table. “Thank god. I was scared shitless”.

“Yeah, you're welcome,” the researcher mumbled, closing the door once more, his empty hands provoking many questions.

“Where are the papers?”

“The papers?” Noah asked barely catching his breath. “Why- why would I have them? I didn't even have time to get there”

“But the text…” The text… the workers said he did come. Were they lying? “Nevermind. We’ll just stay here until the lockdown is over and get them ourselves.”

Noah chuckled, his body weight still clinging to the table. “We can die right now and you care about those papers?”. His gaze met theirs before he silently looked down all of a sudden. “Sounds like you. Sure… after the lockdown we can… look. Sure”

‘Sounds like me’ Sure, he didn't even know them. Barely talked to each other why does he talk like that?

The alarms never did fade, but they could be easily tuned out as both souls tried to find an appropriate moment to move. Yet a small uncertain sound slithered its way through the absolute cacophony of sound. A mumble was it? No, the sound came from their backside.

Odd, the only thing behind them was the… No, it couldn’t be.

Looking behind them, the researcher saw the test subject. Tears ran down his cheeks, but no movement. Any normal person would be sobbing, he was a crying statue. This… couldn't be the mold’s doing. This paralyzes was too extreme. But if the mold wasn't in the man, then who had it?

“Great, finally a result. Isn't it a good thing ‘redacted’”

The researcher's eyes widened in disbelief. He was the person instructed on getting the test subject infected. The only person in charge of them. The only person…

Their eyes must have been obvious as Noah quickly dropped the facade. Didn't even fight it, a frown tainting his features. “I had no choice you know? I would have been killed…”

The individual took a step back, the alarms still blaring nonstop. “What did you do? Tell- tell me.”

The now-revealed man showed a smile, a mere shrug at his crimes before answering. “Well, the vial broke. Letting that small thing into my body. And that subject was sleeping. A simple…”. Noah spread his fingers before closing two together resembling scissors. “Needed him to play the role just long enough…”

The researcher was completely baffled. All the hours they got berated by the higher-ups just for all their problems to come from this man… “Enough for what?”

The man shrugs, the same uncaring attitude he started to hold before slamming his fist on the table in sudden outrage. “I don't know!”

“I- I needed time. Time to know. Time to have you!”

A laugh started to accompany the alarm, his hand trying to hold his shaking head. “I needed time to know you. To talk to you. For you to love me.”

The researcher inched away further, searching for their phone. Letting the unstable man ramble while digging for an escape.

“I loved you so much… everyday more. More… please.”

His gaze noticed the researcher’s itchy fingers. Already feeling the true weight of their fear. “I didn't mean for this to come out. Please… I can be perfect!”

“Just stop talking”

“No, man can love you the way I do. I won't kill, I won’t do anything!” His steps followed theirs, closing each gap that was made. Forcing each other closer and closer as their hands were slowly connected. Only to be broken off with brute force. Pushed back, Noah gasped not expecting an actual act of defiance. In the middle of a lockdown? He was hoping for two seconds of touch at least.

“Come on dear. Grant me one little touch,” the man pleaded with a smug look. “Just one-”

Electricity courses through his body, making his legs go weak and his arms go limp. A taser being held tightly by ‘redacted’s’ hands as they aimed straight at his chest.

At least now the military will have their answers… just by a different test subject. Oh, aren't they the smartest?

(kinda rushed the end sorry. Made five drafts and almost choose unalivement on myself)

[southparkthetwosidesofacard]

I am listening! I am invested! Please yap about your au idea!!

AHHHHHHHHHIIWJHDIEHDIANRRUFIFBFIEBF HFHDB I GET TO YAP ABOUT THIS YAYYYYYY

ok so, I honestly don’t have much of an idea as to where exactly this would go, but just for the basics (which I’m mostly coming up with on the fly, I’ll be honest) here we go:

(this ended up being quite long so everything else is under the break, sorry!)

obviously, ford and bill were not always… separated, as it were. growing up and into his teens and early twenties it was just stanford pines, no “alter egos” or masks or anything of the sort (much as he would’ve loved to be able to hide who he was).

then, when he moved up to gravity falls and began his research, he began to realize that there were so many things that he wanted to do, couldn’t do, because of his reputation. he needed to keep his record clean because if he didn’t, he could easily have his grant money revoked, and any future opportunities in the pursuit of science dashed due to one small slip up. so, he began to look into, well, changing who he was, splitting himself, so to speak, as to be not one but two at the same time.

eventually, it worked somehow (probably through a potion, as jekyll uses in the original book), and he found himself as not just one, but seemingly two people in one body. there was the stanford pines most people knew, the eccentric, odd mad scientist that lived in the woods at the edge of town, and then there was another, completely new facade. bill cipher, named for his often frustratingly vague double speak and extreme use of overly complicated metaphors (yes I’m giving bill’s name a reason, it sort of annoys me that theres no reasoning for hyde’s name in the book but thats a rant for another day).

to begin with, bill seems content with simply switching back and forth at ford’s will, being the way for ford to kick back and let loose with no fear of the repercussions. at least, until ford begins to have trouble getting back to himself. thats when he begins to doubt the true intent of his other self, of bill. its around this time he calls fiddleford. the man may have studied engineering, but in this world he also knows a little something about psychology, and paired with his brilliant mind, ford’s very precise notes of the situation (ahem the journals ahem), and the fact that hes basically ford’s only friend, it felt like the best course of action.

of course, in actual gravity falls, ford does his best to hide bill from fidds but here bill is exactly why ford called him. anyone else would’ve called him crazy, tried to experiment on him or worse, but fiddeford would never do any of that and ford knows it (just to be clear, I do think that if I ever wrote anything for this au college fiddauthor would be heavily implied here).

fidds does his best to help but when bill goes on a rampage one night, going so far as to kill the heir to the northwest family, preston northwest, he knows ford is beyond fucked (just a heads up, the person bill kills being preston may change but idk, we’ll see if I ever actually come back to this au haha). the reason fiddleford originally makes the memory gun in this au isnt for himself, its actually to try and erase the memories of what bill has down from the townspeople’s minds. the only problem is that the next time they see bill all of the memories return and everyone is back at square one. its just too much for fidds, and he begins to turn the memory gun on himself in an attempt to get rid of the fear, pain, failure, and regret that helping his friend brought him.

ford on the hand is mortified by what hes done. I highly doubt that there would be a confrontation type scene, it would be closer to how the book goes, where ford quickly begins to be unable to switch between stanford pines and bill cipher. the au would probably “end” (as in if I turned this into a fanfic/comic/whatever the story would end there) with ford figuring out where stan is, calling and begging him to come up to gravity falls and help him, before ultimately turning the memory gun on himself and ridding himself of “bill” once and for all.

the only problem is that in order to remove bill, he has to remove stanford pines and all that he is as well. now, we all know how this goes in both the show and most aus; stan or ford or whoever it is that is possessed by bill erases themselves/has someone erase them, is weirdly blank for a bit but ultimately regains their memories. well here it… wouldnt work like that. bill(/hyde) is an integral part of ford(/jekyll), to remove bill(hyde) is to remove stanford pines (jekyll), theres no way around that. so, ford sort of ends up in that “blank slate” state for the rest of his life. he called stan prior to erasing himself because he knew stan would take care of him no matter what, and he was right. for the rest of their lives, stan takes care of his brother to the best of his abilities, and while they never get to sail the seas together, and some nights bring unimaginable sorrow for stan, knowing he’ll never speak to his brother again, despite the fact that very man sleeps just a few doors down the hall, they make it work. ford (or, well, whats left behind when you remove everything that makes a person who they are) sees that his blankness hurt stan but he cant do anything about it, and to begin with almost avoids stan, at least before they finally have a talk in which stan reassures “ford” that he’s sure whatever reason ford may have had for erasing himself, it was worth it.

as for fidds, well it mostly works out in a similar way to canon, he does eventually regain most memories but of course some bits are still fuzzy. the fuzzy bits are never fully recovered, as the one person who may have been able to fill in the blanks no longer exists, but fidds is still mostly alright.

the journals… sort of exist? but not in the way that they do in the show, and what does exist stan had from the very beginning. ofc the twins still have to deal with monsters and spooks and whatnot in gravity falls, just not anything that has to do with bill (which means that, of course, weirdmageddon physically cannot happen). at some point, dipper begins to insinuate that the weirdness of gravity falls might have something to do with “ford’s”… situation, which is when stan finally fully comes clean with all he knows about the situation. its not until fiddleford begins to regain his memory, however, that any of them learn the truth of what was going on.

oh yikes, I wrote a lot more for this than I meant to, whoops!

oh yeah, I’m naming this au the “Dr. Pines/Mr. Cipher” au for now, but if anyone has any better ideas or if thats already been used for something else, please let me know!

also, @aaabatteryy I LOVE MARINEFLAMES’ CONFRONTATION ANIMATIC, THAT WAS ACTUALLY WHAT I WAS REFERENCING WHEN I MENTIONED OTHER ANIMATIONS USING A SIMILAR CONCEPT TO THIS AU

oh, and I just want to say that I’ve never watched the musical so thats why this doesnt (intentionally) incorporate any elements of that.

[doctorho]

ok so i've been thinking of continuing that vampire viktor fic and... i'm not sure what to do with it. it's brewing up there in the old brain soup.

in the meanwhile, what i have so far is that, you know, viktor has been living in that old library, secluded, alone (sometimes he sees jayce who brings him stuff from town, tools, tea, sugar - viktor never did manage to lose the sweet tooth even now, new books, other... stuff), and so when the reader starts visiting, it's like a whole new spark of life in his viktor's world. someone new and interesting and alive, someone who looks at him and sees a person instead of a thing.

that's what he was hoping for, anyway. it was starting to seem that way, though it might have been wishful thinking. he hadn't exactly explained his...situation.

but they meet up once a week. it's not an agreement, but it quickly becomes a habit, and he likes it, and for the first time in a very long time viktor has a reason to make his living space comfortable. so he does his best, cleaning and decorating and trying to make the seats more comfortable to sit on, and to make the living room look more like a living room instead of just a hall of books where he'd confined most of his life to. and the reader brings him stuff, without being asked, and he's not quite sure what to do with that, but he's not going to complain. no, he'll carefully arrange those new books and the tea selection and the... plant? to look like they've always been there, and when jayce asks about them he pretends he doesn’t know what he's talking about.

and then the reader explains the plant's there because there's this stray cat that likes hanging around the bookstore, more often now than before, and it's one of those plants that cats aren't supposed to be around, and then viktor has to explain that there's also a stray cat that likes to hang around the library, and turns out they've been feeding the same stray cat, and for a moment viktor wonders if maybe the reader is secretly a witch. cats liked witches. or so he'd heard.

it would be nice.

comforting, somehow. for them both to be rejects in a way.

though he thinks that the reader is still infinitely more well-adjusted to society than he was, and witches didn't exactly have the same reputation as vampires did, but there's still something about him that likes the idea. of them both being different. and, yes, he knew, he probably should've told the reader that he's not technically entirely a human, but that's not something you just tell someone, especially if your relationship to that somebody is we see each other once a week and talk about books. but...he still hasn't felt this close to anyone in a long time, and...he's pretty sure the reader already knows. he's not really sure if the reader believes it, but he knows they must have heard the rumors.

but the reader still shows up every sunday with a book and something sweet from the village bakery, and viktor has to pretend it doesn't feel like a significant hollow in his heart is being patched up every time that happens.

[lennsart]

I see that you're a prince Legend enjoyer. Mind if I tell you about my hc about that? Jsjsjsjajsjs

- His clothes are the only ones that have golden thread. Something only royals can have, still the rest of his clothes are made of common cotton.

- He gave up his right to be the king. But he's still a prince, and he helps Fable in anything he can. He's a free soul, and Fable knows that.

- His uncle is, in fact, the captain of the royal guard. Because of the triforce in Legend's hand (another hc that all the Links have the triforce on their hand, it's just more visible on some of them) everyone knew he was the next hero so the royal family told the captain to take care of Legend and teach him how to use a sword.

- But Legend's uncle saw more in him than just a prince/hero, so he also taught him the value of hard work with the apple field. And tried to save him from his destiny, that's why he tried to save Fable before Legend.

- Almost nobody knows that Legend is a prince. So, for his kingdom he's only an adventurer and he's ok with that.

- The chain knows he's a prince. But they only use that title to tease him.

- Legend often tries to flee from royal events, but Fable stops him. He learned to dance and he sometimes played for the people. In the end, he stays on the events for about 20 minutes, and then he's out of there. He has a small social battery and feels overwhelmed. He also doesn't talk in those events, he prefers to use sign language.

Hello hello, I do not mind at all I love receiving headcanons :D

All of this is interesting !

I like the detail of the golden embroidery being a sign of nobility :0 Four do have them too though if I remember correctly... (Four, something to share with the class...? Lmao no but it could have changed between his time and Legend's, or it could be a gift from his Zelda, who is his best friend in Minish Cap I believe)

I have to admit, I also like the darker take of the royal family supposedly being blessed to only have girls (in the public's eye) since only the women of the family have Hylia's powers... Meaning they abandon/hide Legend at his birth for being a boy D: the drama !

But I never really bothered to think about a way for the royal family to have abandonned Legend without that, and your version do work very well ! The triforce is a powerful sign, but for a public figure to have it... It's ought to bring bad people's attention !

(also yeah in my heart all the Links have the triforce on their hands too hahaha)

I also (in my personal stories !) don't feel the need for Legend to actually give up on the right to be a king, since Hyrule's princesses must be such powerful historical figures... Even if you don't take in account the "only girls" thingy, maybe they at least should get on the throne first ? Sure, we only saw kings in LoZ games, but they never had a queen ; maybe they only get on the throne when the queen dies ?

(Again, you don't have to agree haha ! I do enjoy multiple contradictory headcanons at all time ; I'm just typing as I'm thinking, it's not to dismiss what you told me)

In any way, yeah, I absolutely think that Legend don't want to be king/a noble, and stays the friendly adventurer in his kingdom !

Once the chain knows he's a prince they absolutely tease him to no end haha ! But I do think he wouldn't tell them before a loonnng time (eyeing the "average nobody" line, which gets hilarious with this headcanon). I also would love for him to reveal it by mentioning it casually and everyone losing their mind wondering if he's joking lmao

And omg I think the exact same about his social battery hahaha ! (If only for projecting myself on him not gonna lie 😂)

I do think he has a fun time, especially if he plays like you say— he likes to make people happy ! But put him an hour in here and the boy's brain is absolutely fried. 24 hours nap to ensue !

[morganski-19]

This the second part to my post about the Buck and Tommy break up scene, focusing on Buck's mindset on all of this.

This relationship was new, and exciting, but what new relationship isn't? Just because this is the first relationship with a man doesn't discount his excitement for being in a new relationship. It doesn't mean that Buck is in this relationship just because Tommy was the person who helped him realize he was bisexual.

However, that also doesn't mean that what Tommy said isn't true, in a way.

Buck is still figuring out who he is. Which is very much ok. Sexuality is something that is so hard to figure out, especially when you discover it later in life. It might take a while to fully unpack that, and figure out what that means for you.

And I think Buck attributed all of that growth within himself to this relationship. Much like how he attributed a lot of his growth while dating Abby to that relationship.

Relationships can help us grow as people, however, it is what we do to help ourselves grow that is the reason we change. Not the person, no the relationship, not the outward motivation to want to do better. A person can have all of that and never change. It is up to the person themselves to determine if they are going to change.

With Abby, Buck had the support to grow, to transform. I think he forgets that it was him who pumped the breaks when Abby first called him, it was him who hit the gas when he knew he wasn't going to fall back into old habits. It was Buck that grew because he wanted to, not because of Abby.

The same can be said with Tommy. Yes, Buck didn't know he was bisexual before Tommy. It was after that first kiss that he realized he liked men. However, again, it was himself that worked through that. It was himself that decided to explore this part of himself. Tommy made it very clear in the beginning of their relationship that he didn't think Buck was ready. Buck chose to show him that he was. Buck chose to reach out again and keep trying.

It wasn't Tommy that transformed Buck, much like it wasn't Abby that transformed Buck. It was all him.

And then Buck did what Buck does best and made an impulsive decision before he was ready because he thinks that's what he needs to do to gain affection. He feels like he has to make these big actions, especially after he feels he did something wrong, to be heard, to be seen. He's begging for Tommy to know that he's all in.

And it backfires. Tommy left, without a chance for Buck to explain himself properly. Bringing back that feeling of abandonment all over again.

I'd also like to address why I think Buck was never going to be the one to pull the plug on this relationship, and how it connects to everything I stated above.

I'd like to compare this to something that happened to a friend of mine. I'm going to keep is very brief for anonymity and privacy sake. Essentially, she knew that the relationship wasn't working but wanted to stay because he was her first. She felt indebted to him in a way, and thought that the connection they had was worth fighting for, even though she wasn't happy.

That's essentially what's happening here. Buck felt indebted to Abby, which is why he stayed so long even when it was clear the relationship was over. The same can be said with Tommy. He felt indebted to him because he helped Buck figure out something big about himself, and thought he needed to stay. Which is why he wouldn't have pulled the plug, as much as we all wanted him to.

I truly don't know where this is going to go for Buck, or how it's going to further the storyline. I have my hopes that it will allow for Buck to do some self reflection, and to continue to unpack his sexuality and what that means for him. And I can further hope that he can unpack what Tommy said, and realize why Tommy wasn't going to be his last. But other than that, it was just the same tune of someone abandoning Buck suddenly without any warning, and I'm tired of hearing it.

[cutiesigh]

❤️🖤🩷

Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i have a Scene - a Plot if you will - that backs this as context. y'all are gonna have to trust me on this one <3 or read the tags...

[travelling-hydaelyn]

Lahabrea possessed Thancred before this questline even started which means these are back to back Laha interactions. Here is how he greets the WoL in the Waking Sands immediately after his Disney villain introduction.

Meanwhile in Minfilia's solar:

presumably he took a brief break from running Alphinaud's errands to go dramatically laugh at the WoL

[triglycercule]

killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them

like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy