#And eating junk food and shit and having an awesome time And watching a movie or something

[eebie]

okay. okay. *serious look in my eyes* TWO questions,. HAVE YOU HEARD KARKALICIOUS. and also who is ur favorite hs char so far.......

ive heard of Karkalicious but i didnt know it had homwstuck affiliations I thought it was in reference to a 30something sparkly white woman singer Like taylor swift or Katy Perry or sometbing and her name was Kark And she was so fab that people used her name Karkalicious. 👩‍🎤💐💁‍♀️🎶 not sure why i thought that 2 Be honest Its in reference to Karkat though right ? ue doesnt seem very fabulous ill be honest so im rlly curious of the origins of the term

and my FAV homestuck character . thats so fucking hard to choose.Like i have a handful i hold near and dear to my heart like Egbert dave Tavros n rose but i cant choose one out of them to say I like the most. its kinda like asking which organ i like the most Like fuck i need all of them to be alive so i cant choose!!!!!!

[titaswrld]

I have a request for a deadpool fic, if you could make a very angsty story where deadpool thinks he is undeserving of love and never thinks someone in this world would fall for him 😭 he is self-conscious about his looks and never in his right mind it crossed him that he has a chance with the reader, but he would do anything just to feel loved. he's just a constantly depressed ball of sadness, and the only way he copes with his thoughts is his dark humor. while the reader is head over heels for that man, and she's showering him in love, but he only thinks it's because they're friends 😭🫶🏼

monster

description: wade wilson being insecure about his looks, not knowing if the girl he loves would ever love him back.

paring: wade wilson x reader!

contains: angst! with happy ending (i didn’t know how to end it😭)

w.c: 1.2k

|an: finally writing forreals again! i needed to get back into it. thank u for ur request, i hope u like it😇 reader is a baker bc i couldn’t think of a more wholesome career path😭

you’ve known your best friend, wade wilson, for almost a year now. starting off as just occasional friends, hanging out at each other's apartments, watching chick flicks, and eating your weight in junk food until your friendship grew into something deeper, feeling nothing but love and admiration for another and the desire to be something more.

he’s so in love with you; he knows that now. he tried to deny it; he tried telling himself there’s no way, there’s absolutely no way a woman as intelligent, as confident, and as kind as you could ever love a monster like him. He knew you deserved better—a handsome, young, intelligent accountant or something.

his field of work is dangerous; he knows that. killing random people he doesn’t even know for cash. large sums of cash, sure. but, nonetheless, killing. he honestly always found it humorous, a trained marksman, mercenary, and vigilante , with his super cool awesome, still in school to become a pâtissière best friend!

he knew you’d leave; he knew no human being on planet earth could bear even looking at his rough, bumpy skin. that’s why he’s yet to show you his face, never failing to wear his mask around you, even though you’ve known each other for so long now. he didn’t know why you were still around after all this time even with the mask on, he knew most people found him to be annoying, aggravating, and just an all around piece of shit person, but for some reason, you liked him, and you enjoyed being around him.

he’s never had someone so close to him, as you are with him. you’re so kind, so affectionate, and so touchy. he thinks it’s just pity, you’d never think of him as anything more than a friend.

he dreamt of being the man who loved you the rest of your life; he wished that he could fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, make you laugh every day, eat every meal with you, watch every movie and every show, spend every holiday together, fuck, even start a family. he craved you. he craved your love, your care, and your kindness; he wanted to be normal with you, but he’s not normal, far from it. he knew better than that. he knew he didn’t deserve that. he would never be the man that you love.

he’s not ready to let you go, but he can’t keep his feelings for you inside any longer. he honestly dug himself into an even deeper hole, choosing to come over almost every free night he had. he couldn’t stay away from you; he hated being away from you. during every mission and every fight, all he thought about was coming home to you. you’re the only person who truly understood him for the man that he is, and he loves you for that. he’s never opened up to anybody the way that he’d opened up to you. you were special, so special to him. he was terrified.

you felt hopeless, stupid, and desperate. every advance you made, you’d failed. from baking him his favorite treats, to holding his hand while you watched a movie on the couch, to giving him hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary after a long mission, you couldn’t get your best friend out of your mind, not if you tried. hou crave him, his love, his care, his stupid fucking jokes that never end, his sarcastic nature, his sass—you don’t think you have ever loved a man the way that you love wade.

sometimes, he made you think that he might like you back, that he might have some sort of romantic interest in you, but it was quickly shut down after he made a joke, basically telling you that it would never happen.

you and wade were sitting on the couch, just talking, telling stories, and catching up after a particularly long time apart. until you had thought of a statement, that could’ve told you whether or not wade may or may not feel the same way.

your best friend, mia, had mistaken you and wade for a couple while on the phone. when you denied her statement, she apologized, saying she’s sorry for assuming, but you did spend all your time together..

when you told wade what she said, he doubled down in laughter before spitting out, “you? me? never. who is this friend? have i met her? has she seen me before? you might need to get her 5150’d.”

which did shatter your heart into a million pieces, but nonetheless, it wouldn’t stop you from trying to show him how much you care, how much you want to be with him, and how much you want to love him. he deserved love, and you wanted to give it to him.

each time he made a self-deprecating joke, it broke your heart. it was torture for you. the most he would ever do is lift his mask slightly when he ate with you, only to pop a piece of food in his mouth, then sheathe his face with his mask once again to chew, repeating the process until he’d finished. but even then, you never looked out of respect.

there were multiple occasions where you could’ve snuck a peek, where you could’ve turned around and saw his full face, but you knew how genuinely insecure he felt and how scared he was for you to see his face, so you never looked, not wanting to betray his trust or make him uncomfortable. you loved him, and you wish he understood that absolutely nothing could change that. especially not the way he looks.

today, you were sat on your couch, waiting for him to arrive. He said he’d be over tonight for the usual—rom-coms and junk food. but today, you felt different, your balls finally dropped, and you were ready to admit how you felt, whether it was a good or bad outcome, you were ready.

every single worst-case scenario clouded your thoughts, making your palms sweaty and causing a deep ache in your chest until you heard a knock at your door, saving you from plummeting even farther into your head.

you open the door, and time feels slow motion. you didn’t see deadpool; you saw wade for the first time- the real wade. standing there with an anxious expression plastered across his mottled face, snacks in one hand and flowers ripped from the dirt outside of your apartment complex in the other.

your stomach dropped along with your expression, the shock stunning you into place as you began to gather your thoughts. this is what he was hiding, you thought. jesus christ, all of that trouble for this? you could almost hit him.

wade, on the other hand, paced in your hallway, back and forth for 15 minutes before this, trying to decide whether he should just bail and leave the fucking country or finally stop being pussy and just show you his goddamn face.

after seeing your initial reaction, his head dropped, his gaze on the floor, as he muttered, “i know. total freak show, right? freddy kruger? craterface? cmon, lay it on me.”

now was your chance, as you cupped his face with your hands and pressed your soft lips against his dry, cracked ones. you felt his tense muscles drop and relax as he melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling and making sure it was real, too.

you’d pulled away, looking him in the eyes and flashing a smile his way before placing kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin.

your gaze fell across his face once again, this time meeting you with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

“so— ten things i hate about you, or steel magnolias?”

[goboymusic]

If I had to describe @linkinpark’s music in one word, I’d say epic.

After the dark and creepy deviation that was “Basement Song” (GoBoy’s #Halloween song), I felt ready to make another upbeat #electropop song.

The chorus melody was in mind for months before entering production, though I didn’t have any lyrics to go with it. After a few months of that melody being on the back burner, the lyrics “eat you like a donut” arose, and the song “#Donut” was officially a go.

After jotting down the chorus melody in Logic Pro, I added two more melodies that were in mind, one being the “nah nah nah” melody, and the other being the “take a trip to Bolivia…” melody. “Nah nah nah” lyrics in any song can be viewed as a cop out, but they sound good with certain melodies. The “Take a trip to Bolivia…” lyrics were easy to come up with after I knew the song would be centered around junk food.

I watched the entire #LordoftheRings extended addition trilogy on @HBOMax on a weekend while mixing vocals for “Donut,” which is something I wanted to do since I was a child. Needless to say, it was fucking awesome. Those movies are damn near perfect, meaning I can’t think of anything that could be changed to improve them. The Army of the Dead is cheap, so maybe I’d decrease their godlike abilities, but that change might not improve the films.

Mixing vocals is like knitting. It takes a lot of time, but not much effort. Vocal mixing in GoBoy songs consists of splicing every word so that it perfectly aligns with the tempo, pitch correction (everyone uses pitch correction in the studio, even Beyoncé, shut up), panning, and then experimenting with plugins. The alignment, pitch correction and panning phases are when I can catch up on movies, shows, podcasts, audiobooks, etc. The plugin experimentation phase normally requires enough focus that I can’t peripherally consume other content.

Only taking one week to produce, “Donut” is somewhat of a blur in my memory. Everything went smoothly, from writing to recording, to mixing, to mastering, to releasing, which is rare. It’s not often that 100% of the original songwriting makes it into the final song. That said, just because production went smoothly doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good song (excerpts from post 85).

Songs that go as smoothly as “Donut” and take a week or less to complete leave me with little to reflect upon for storytelling, whereas songs that take an entire month to complete give me much to say. Hell, you can binge multiple tv series, get shitfaced multiple times, solve multiple complex problems at work, travel around the country and experience loads of human drama over the course of one month. For “Donut,” there’s not much to say (excerpts from post 64).

The focus on junk food lyrics on GoBoy 5 actually increased my craving for it, leading to me eating far more of it than usual for a solid year. Taco Bell, McDonalds, Ben & Jerry’s, Doritos, etc. I only stopped after developing health issues related to diet, which were resolved after a few months of strict dieting (excerpts from post 83).

Shit hit the fan at work during the making of songs 90 - 94, leading to an exodus of many employees whom I had to temporarily fill in for (many of which asked to come back months later), which resulted in this song taking longer to complete than it would have. On average, each GoBoy 3 song took four days to complete, GoBoy 4 songs took six days, GoBoy 5 songs took fourteen days, and GoBoy 6 songs took thirty days (excerpts from post 90).

Beat + bass + melody. That’s the style of GoBoy 5. While I’ve appreciated this minimalistic style for years, “Tell My Mama (Song 42)” was the first time trying it. I went whole-hog with GoBoy 5, in which most songs primarily consist of a beat, bass and melody (excerpt from post 80).

For GoBoy 5, instead of creating for the sake of creating, like I did for GoBoy 4, I wanted to make poppier songs that would appeal to a larger audience. Was that goal accomplished? Well, maybe, I guess. It resulted in the song “In Love (Song 82),” which everyone and their mother seems to like (excerpt from post 79).

GoBoy 5 ragdolled me. I remember wondering if I’d live to see the completion of the album. While the style is minimalistic, the writing and production processes were chaotic, akin to throwing darts with a blindfold on. Most songs turned into a puzzle once they reached the mixing phase, with a portion of the pieces being destined not to fit. It required constant compromising - discarding segments, restructuring, rewriting, etc. The combination of the difficult production process and temporary chaos at work left a blood-soaked trail behind me (excerpt from post 80).

In April, 2021, almost all of GoBoy 3, 4 and 5‘s songs were restructured to be under 3 minutes (preferably under 2m 30s), including this song. I became okay with releasing songs around the 2 min mark after realizing The Beatles and The Beach Boys had some songs around that length. In an attempt to increase replay value in this streaming era, most of GoBoy’s songs are now purposely around 2m 20s (excerpts from post 37).

A bass boost was added to songs 37-99 in Nov, 2021, while I was stuck at home with covid. As a result, this song feels more powerful. The bass boost isn’t a simple plugin nonchalantly added to each song. It’s a process that took about 3.5 hours per song, or one whole month to complete all songs. Admittedly, I pushed the bass boost a little too far for some of them. The bass in some songs sounds like a freaking earthquake (unnecessarily pronounced low frequencies 20 - 50 Hz). Might dial that back someday. The bass boost was also applied to every song on GoBoy 6 and beyond (excerpt from post 37).

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Spa Night

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: After hours of trying to get her best friend Maddy to come over and have a spa night, Elliot, her boyfriend, kindly stepped in.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drugs and mentions of sex.

Word Count: 600, short and sweet

A/n: Hi guys! This is based off of a request for Elliot and the reader doing facemasks together. Super cute idea.

He must've heard me complain for hours.

Maddy was a flaky friend, constantly deciding to hang out with her boyfriend, Nate, instead of any of her friends. But we had plans for tonight, deciding to stay in and watch a movie, eat some junk food and let loose.

But she canceled last minute. Like always. With zero remorse.

Elliot hated seeing me upset, disappointed over other people constantly He didn't always say a lot but he always offered things in return to help my heart heal. He knew I liked sticking to a plan once it was made and if it went to shit, he knew I would get uncomfortable. He just knew me and he'd seen it happen to me a number of times so he's a pro at this point with helping my disappointed mind.

"Hey, why don't we do what you guys were gonna do?" Elliot offers, his kind voice making my ears perk up and a smile stretch across my face. He giggles at my shocked expression, hopping off the bed to approach me. He cups my cheeks in his soft hands, my cheeks warming under his touch.

"Really?" I ask, my voice littered with excitement as he nods. "Well we were just gonna watch movies, smoke weed and maybe paint our nails- oh face masks too!" I add on, his eyes rolling playfully as he nods, gently reaching down to pat my butt playfully as he makes his way past me. "Where are you going?" I ask him, his curls bouncing with every step he takes.

"Going to steal my cousins nail polish and to see if I can find face masks. Go get food and find a movie on my laptop!" He yells over his shoulder as he makes his way out of the room, leaving me a bundle of joy and excitement.

Only twenty minutes later, I sit firmly atop Elliot's lap, my fingers painting the face mask onto his face with precision. He scrunches his nose as I giggle, the movement cracking the drying material on his soft skin.

"Stop moving." I whisper, the green mask making his brown eyes pop beautiful. His eyes flutter closed as I place a kiss on my lips, looking to the movie next to us. Elliot rubs up and down my back, his fingers wrapping around the face mask tube.

"My turn." He whispers, moving my hair out of the way as he grins up at me. His tongue peeks out as he works, his calculated fingers spreading the cool substance over my cheeks as I grin. Fuck am I lucky. "You look like a giant booger." He snorts, a gasp leaving my lips as I smack his chest. He holds his arms up in surrender, tugging me to him as he captures my lips in his. I smile into the kiss, just happy to have this time with him, the proximity making my head spin. "I love you." He whispers against my lips, my eyes fluttering open to look down at him.

"I love you, Elly. Thank you for doing this." I whisper gratefully, my hands resting on his chest as he shrugs bashfully. "Seriously. You always know how to make me feel better." My eyes flutter away from his, his small hum of acknowledgement making me smile.

"In more ways than one." He snorts, my eyes rolling at his flirty comment. "Now, come on, you said something about painting nails and," he pauses, holding up his hands for me to see, "mine are pretty plain." I gasp excitedly, accepting the offer immediately as he giggles.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------Taglist: @jamespotterswifey @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex--awesome--22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @letmebeyoureuphoria @rafecameronswhore @4lyssasworld

Euphoria Taglist:@ssprayberrythings @username-lols

[paperuniverse]

German Bros Week Day 1: Sleepover

@germanbrosweek​

Title: Practice Sleepover

Summary: Germany is forced to share his bed with Prussia for the night, who insists it's practice for a real sleepover they will have tomorrow night.

AO3 Link

⭐ 🌘 ⭐

“Sleepover! Sleepover!” Prussia cheered as he bounced on Germany’s bed. On hands and knees in the middle of the mattress.

“No, not a sleepover. You are simply staying here until we can get you a new mattress.”

After finding multiple bug bites on himself, Prussia had checked his bed for bedbugs, to which he discovered several. Germany immediately helped him get rid of it, before checking his own mattress. Thankfully his was fine, but now Prussia had nowhere to sleep, and he claimed to be too light of a sleeper to sleep on the couch.

Prussia didn’t let him argue when he proclaimed they’d just share Germany’s bed for the next few nights.

“We should stay up and watch movies! Oh! And eat a shit-load of popcorn and beer! See who falls asleep first.”

Ludwig sighed as he pulled the covers down and crawled into bed. “My boss has given me work to do; I can’t afford to stay up late.”

“Ah, you’re no fun!” Gilbert exclaimed as he got under the covers as well. “We’ll just have to have a real sleepover another night.”

“What even is a real sleepover?” He doubted Gilbert had ever had a normal sleepover by human standards, even if he did frequently invite his friends over and went to their houses in turn.

“Staying up super fucking late, that’s for sure,” he replied, getting comfortable. “Eating junk food, watch movies, tell stories. Fun stuff!”

He sighed. Gilbert probably wasn’t going to go to sleep until they did something ‘fun’. “Are you wanting us to tell stories?”

Gilbert gave him a devilish grin. “Knew I’d wear you down. You won’t be disappointed!”

Ludwig sighed but got comfortable too.

Gilbert turned on the lamp on the bedside table to give a creepier atmosphere. “One night a boy was home all alone, just him and his pet dog, as his parents had gone out of town for a very important business meeting.

The boy was watching the news when they started discussing a serial killer in the area, scared he locked all the doors and windows.

No longer wanting to watch TV, he brought his dog to his bedroom and cuddled him until he fell asleep. He pet his dog and let it lick his hand until he eventually fell asleep.

A few hours later he awoke to the sound of dripping, still scared from the news coverage of the serial killer, he stayed in bed, letting his dog lick his hand again to comfort him. He soon fell back asleep.

In the morning he awoke to find the noise was the sound of blood dripping. In the middle of the night his dog had been murdered, and the serial killer had been the one licking his hand the whole time.”

Germany waited for Prussia to finish his silly story before making his commentary. “How could the boy not feel the difference between a human tongue and a dog’s tongue? Dogs’ tongues are much longer, not to mention if he was petting the serial killer he would have realized he was petting human hair and not dog fur.”

“Ugh! No fun!” Prussia said as he turned off the lights. “You’re not even a little scared?”

“No.”

“Boo! Guess I’ll have to find some real scary stories to share for our real sleepover!”

Germany sighed but couldn’t help but be happy. “Yes, we’ll need the best quality if this sleepover is to be good.”

The darkness hid it, but Prussia’s face split into a big smile. “Yeah, it’ll be an awesome sleepover!”

[heeyrosie]

Wanna know my trick (for real)?

Read until the end. 

I thought this community was helping me for over two years, but it wasn’t. It’s toxic, it really is. Because all the advice here is garbage, without real research. It’s a bunch of teenagers and people with no study just sharing what they’ve found on Google. They have no idea what they’re talking about.  I got into college, on an actual science major, and I did the work and came up with my own plan for getting the body I desired.

I was able to slowly but surely go from a chubby body to someone who actually has abs. And I didn’t even exercise. I’ve stayed home for months now and I’ve never felt more beautiful. I’m finally skinny: collarbones, hips and I’ve lost that awful THIGH FAT. No double chins and now I got slender fingers. I’m a walking success. 

It took me 10 months, and I don’t have sleeping issues, stomach pains, low blood pressure or weak muscles. I’m model thin and no one suspects I might have an ed. I did it, guys. 

I’m almost at my goal and I’ve finally found the secret. Stay away from Tumblr, stay away from diets and purging and no counting calories. Don’t set a time frame for your progress like “I have to lose xx amount of weight until next month”. It won’t work.

Get out of here, live your life and quietly cut back on junk food. Eat more and more fruit, HYDRATE all day long, for months. Have at least one healthy meal a day (packed with proteins and vegetables) , even if it grosses you out. And take those multivitamins everyday, they’re awesome. If you want, you can exercise regularly but I honestly didn’t need to.

Set a routine. For example, mine is: wake up, take my vitamins, meditate, take a shower, eat a fruit, study for a few hours, have a healthy lunch, do something I love (read, watch something or have a video chat with a friend), study again, do anything to unwind (I smoke weed cause I have terrible anxiety), eat a light snack (can be a yogurt or something to help digestion), watch a movie and fall asleep. No checking on Tumblr, no exposing myself to crazy and absurd methods and NO COMPARISON. Meanspo will only make you feel worse and unmotivated, trust me. 

There are no quick results, stop believing that. Please wise up and actually think. The faster you lose weight, the faster you’ll gain it back. You know that, we all do. So that’s my solution. Lose the weight slowly over a few months. I purposely don’t exercise because if I suddenly stop, my body will react by creating fat tissue. So I actually trained my body to gradually burn the existing fat, and THEN, I don’t get fat again because I stopped eating junk food and now eat only healthy shit. I won. 

The further you are from your goal, the longer it will take. And that's okay. That’s why it’s important to stay away from here, because we all have our own pace and limitations. Work on yourself for at least six months, then come back. But remember: the longer you stay away, the more you’ll notice how it’s working.

Have patience, remind yourself of it everyday. It’s a constant effort, and I know you can do it, even if you doubt it, I have complete faith in your potential. Don’t waver, don’t give up, it’ll be worth it. 

NONE of my clothes from ten months ago fit me, now I notice how fucking huge I was. And at the time, I was following all the diets and exercises, I was purging   and reblogging pics for inspiration. I was doing the same thing you guys do now, and I’d been at it for over three years. Three years of no result. 

Ten months of the bare minimum got me further along than all that shit before.

Do what I did, and if it doesn’t work, come back in a few months to prove me wrong. I dare you.  

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Lockdown

(MBS)

“Anthony, mijo you are ten years old. You should know this multiplication shit by now.” You hear Oscar say as he sits in the dining room with both school age boys and Junior who had his own work to get done. Angel sitting at the table as well as he pretends to do school work by coloring,”Do the problem again and actually show your work.”

You guys have been stuck in the house for three weeks now due to the virus, the only person that was able to leave being Oscar since he still had to go to work. Thankfully it was Friday afternoon so that meant he was at home and could take over the role of teacher. It was fun being able to teach your kids at first, but after three days you wanted to pull your hair out. Carlos and Anthony, your two sweet boys, hated anything to do with school and put little to no effort. The only good thing that came out of this virus was that your oldest son was now home, his campus closing down for the time being. Even though you were glad he was back, you couldn’t wait for things to go back to normal. You were going a bit stir crazy and needed time to yourself. But alas the mommy role was a never ending one.

“I have snacks.” You smile, coming in with a tray of finger sandwiches you made and a bowl of chips. Oscar has been at it for the last hour with them and you figured they could use a break.

“Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Give me.” Angel says and drop his crayons excitedly, Carlos and Anthony sighing in relief that you came to the rescue.

“Say please.” You remind as you set the items down

“Please mommy.” He says and holds his hand out

“Good boy.” You smile and pass him one of the smaller cut sandwiches, letting the boys eat while you go check on Alexander who sat in his pack n play in the living room.

“Hi fat boy.” You coo at him, making him giggle as he wobbles to pull him self up,”Do you want to come with mommy?” You ask, picking him up and giving him a kiss,”My happy baby, yes you are.”

“I will switch right now.” Oscar says from behind you,”I’ll take the baby, you take them.”

“Hmmm let me think.” You smile as you turn around, Alexander snuggling into you chest,”No.”

“Mami please.” Oscar begs,”I love our kids, but they are going to make me jump through the fucking window.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m here 24/7.” You say,”With ALL of them. At least I offered to watch the baby while you help them with their work.”

“Fine, but if I start yelling and shit starts getting thrown you can’t blame me.” He groans

“If you yell at any of my baby’s.” You start, setting Alex down on the floor to scoot around,”You’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.” You finish, wrapping your arms around your grumpy husband,”So you better take a few deep breaths and remember that you asked for this life. You put those kids in my stomach so you can’t get frustrated with them when times are hard.”

Oscar sighs and looks up at the ceiling in thought before meeting your gaze,”I’ll try my hardest to not go crazy.”

“Good.” You smile and pucker your lips, Oscar rolling his eyes before pressing his own against them,”Love you, now get back in there.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too.” He mutters, turning around and heading back to the dining room. You can’t help but laugh as he sulks, sitting down on the floor with Alex while you pass the time by watching one of your shows.

~

“Mommy! I’m done with my work.” Angel says about half a hour later causing you to exit out of the program, no way you would be able to pay attention now.

“Oh yeah? Let me see.” You smile and take the page from him, the once white paper now filled with random color scribbles everywhere,”Good job baby, it’s so good. What color is this?” You ask him as you point to a green line that he drew.

“Um green. Like the grass.” He answers with a smile,”I’m a smart boy mommy.”

“The smartest.” You say and set the paper down on the coffee table, letting him sit across from you. Alexander sitting a few feet away while he plays with some toys.

“Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“Can we go to the park?”

“No, you know we can’t Angel.” You sigh,”Why don’t we go play in the backyard?”

“Backyard is boring.” He says with a shake of his head,”I wanna go to the park. Park!” He yells his mood instantly changing as he grabs one of the toys that laid near him,”Park, park, park!” He repeats angrily as he cries, the toy flying across the room.

“Go to timeout, you don’t throw things.” You say and stand up, grabbing his arm and helping him up to his feet, Angel trying to pull away with all his might,”Now.” You say more sternly

“Let me go.” He screams,”Play at the playground!”

“Angel, stop.” You sigh before your husband swoops in and picks the toddler up, holding him at arms length.

“A quien le gritas?” He asks,”Are you screaming at mommy? You are a kid and you do what she says, no questions. So go get in timeout now.” Oscar says as he sets him back down, his little feet taking off to the corner and facing the wall,”Stop crying, o te daré algo para que llores.” He warns, all noise ceasing from Angel.

“Thanks.” You say not meeting his gaze, you knew the kids needed discipline, but that was the area you failed in when it came to parenting. Oscar was usually the punisher which is why the kids never questioned his authority,”I feel like we’re all gonna snap any day now.” You admit, running your fingers through your hair messily.

“Yeah, but he still needs to listen and he can’t be popping off like that.” Oscar shrugs,”Even before all this lockdown bullshit started he always threw a fit when he couldn’t get his way. I’m tired of it, you need to stop babying him.”

“I don’t baby him.” You lie with a shake of your head. It was true, he was probably the one you babied the most out of all of the kids. Even when his brothers were his age you didn’t have to treat them like you do Angel.

“So you don’t carry him around on your hip all the time? You don’t let him sleep in our bed still? You don’t pick up every single thing after him? You don’t...” Oscar continues before you cut him off.

“Alright so maybe I do just a little.” You say, glancing back at him,”I don’t know why I do it, maybe it’s cause he has a different personality than the boys did. He lets me baby him. He can claim big boy status all he wants but he loves being my baby. I know I need to stop but it’s just so hard.” You groan, resting your head forward on Oscar’s chest, letting him embrace you.

“I like when you baby me too mami.” He chuckles softly,”But there has to be a limit.”

“You’re right.” You sigh and pull away,”Can I start tomorrow though? I just wanna cuddle him right now.” You admit, Oscar playfully rolling his eyes and not even bothering to respond before going back to the other kids.

You walk over to the sulking boy and pick him up,”I’m sorry mommy.” He sniffles and rest his head on your shoulder as you hold him,”I hate inside.”

“I know baby, me too.” You smile sadly and press a kiss to his forehead,”Are you going to be a good boy now?”

“Yes. No more timeout pwease.” He begs, even though he wasn’t even there for more than two minutes,”I’ll be a good, good, good boy.”

“Works for me...How about we build a fort? A huge one?” You ask him excitedly,”It’ll be so much fun.”

“Yeah!” He cheers,”Come on! We need to get blankies.”

“Go get the ones from my room, I’ll stay in here with Alex.”

“You got it.” He laughs before running down the hall and disappearing. You grin happily and go over to pick up the baby, heading to the dining room to ‘let school out.’

“Enough work, come help me and Angel build a fort.” You say, Anthony and Carlos darting up and racing to the living room,”You guys too.”

“Sure, why not?” Junior shrugs as he closes his laptop and goes to join his brothers.

“Come on.” You grin and hold your free hand out for your husband.

“I’m coming.” He reply’s, nonetheless taking your hand in his. The two of you joining the rest of the household for some quarantine fun.

~

“I know they are a lot to handle, but I think we would be bored if we didn’t have all of them in here with us.” You whisper to Oscar, all five of your kids spread out around you and fast asleep in the makeshift bed. After building the fort you guys spent the rest of the inside of it watching movies and eating junk food. Each kid falling asleep one by one until it was just the two of you awake.

“Yeah, I thought about that too.” He yawns,”We’re pretty lucky. Even luckier if you finally gave me my babygirl.”

“Stop.” You whine, Oscar bringing up this conversation at least twice a week,”We don’t need another kid. Are the five we have not enough?”

“They are enough, but I wouldn’t mind one more.” He chuckles

“That’s easy for you to say when you’re not the one carrying a whole human for nine months and then pushing said human out.” You remind him,”Besides what if it’s another boy? Are you still going to want to try again after?”

“If it’s a boy then it’s a boy.” He shrugs,”I know it’s going to be a girl though.”

“You said that about Alex.” You laugh,”And he’s most definitely not a girl.”

“Oh my god, just have another baby. Who cares?” Junior groans from somewhere in the fort,”I’m trying to sleep.”

“Aye, callate la boca.” Oscar says amusingly,”Don’t be listening to our conversation fool.”

“Kind of hard to do when your two feet away from me.” Junior retorts, turning on his side as he try’s to fall back asleep.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow, but the answer is still going to be no.” You say to Oscar,”Now go to sleep, you have a class tomorrow morning Mr.Diaz.”

“Nah, I’m going to play hookie. One day isn’t going to kill them.” He chuckles,”Lets go for a drive or something, we don’t have to get out of the car. We could just drive along the beach.”

“That actually sounds fun. Let’s do it.” He agrees.

“Awesome.” You grin excitedly,”I cant wait, we all need to get out for a while.”

Oscar hums in response, lightly rubbing his eyes tiredly,”Night mi amor.” He says moments later

“Good night.” You reply, kissing his cheek before letting your eyes close. Angel’s foot digging into your back, but you didn’t care. You were too tired to move him. Each day since being in lockdown making you more and more exhausted, but it was okay. Being trapped in the house with the people you love most is way better than being stuck all alone.

[knox-knocks]

This is my gift to @yeahboiislay​ / @bhenchod​ for the @aftgexchange ! I really hope you enjoy, i had so much fun with the prompts you gave!

Having the evening to themselves, Matt and Neil plan an awesome Boys' Night that consists of movies, a surplus amount of food, and maybe a bit too much alcohol. Everything starts of great, but when they wake up the next morning with no memories, no money, and no eyebrows, they try to retrace their steps to figure out what the hell happened last night and run into a few problems. 

~ ~

“Neeeeeeeiiiiiiil," Matt sings as he sails through the door to the suite, arms laden with a mountain of food. He grins at Neil and drops the snacks – seven different boxes of candy, two large bags of M&Ms, a six pack of soda, a bowl of popcorn, and a rather large bottle of rum – onto the table where they skitter to the sides and would have fallen if Neil hadn’t caught them in time. “Are you ready?”

Neil bounces around his friend, cradling one of the bags of M&Ms to his chest. He raises it above his head in triumphant glory at not letting it fall to the floor and meets Matt’s full-wattage smile with one of his own. Despite his hesitation at the amount of junk food and alcohol Matt had proposed for tonight, he could feel a current of excitement coursing through him. “I’m ready,” he declares.

“Do you mind?”

Neil’s attention is pulled to the couch, where an irate Aaron is stationed. He looks a little rumbled with his glasses askew on his nose and at least three different textbooks spread out on the coffee table in front of him. He frowns at the pair. “Not that I care, but what are you two yahoos up to anyway?”

“Boys’ night!” Matt and Neil answer in unison. They share an uncoordinated fist bump, difficult because Matt is a foot taller and Neil is still holding the bag of M&Ms over his head.

“Dan and the girls are doing their own thing and Nicky has a skype date with Erik,” Matt explains.

“And Andrew and Kevin are in Michigan trying to recruit more players for next year,” Neil adds, eyeing the precariously leaning tower of food behind Matt.

“You can join us if you’d like,” Matt says before Neil can protest. Neil shoots him a look just as the pile of snacks topples over and Matt dives for it, successfully avoiding Neil’s scornful expression.

“No thanks,” Aaron says. He regards the snacks and Matt trying to push them back into order with more than a little disdain. “I’ll just go to Katelyn’s. Don’t make too much of a mess, and have fun I guess.”

The bottle of rum rolls past Neil’s feet in a haphazard escape, and Matt darts after it on his hands and knees.

“We’re just gonna watch some movies and eat junk food,” Neil says. “How big of a mess can we make?”

_ _

Neil wakes some indeterminable time later with the worst headache he’s ever had in his entire life. His first thought as he comes slowly back to awareness is

ow, fuck

, and the second is

why is the ceiling so close to my face?

He blinks blearily at the too-close ceiling and wills the pain throbbing in his temples to go away. When his vision clears and Neil feels like he can move without keeling over, he realizes that’s he’s not staring at the ceiling at all, but at the underside of the coffee table in Matt’s suite.

Neil groans, clutching his head, and wiggles out from under the table. One of his shoes is missing, but it’s probably the least of Neil’s problems, because the room is an utter disaster.

It looks like a warzone, popcorn strewn across the room and smashed into the carpet, and a section near the television has a suspicious and atrociously orange stain that is half-heartedly covered by a couch cushion that does not belong to anyone Neil knows. Neil gapes at the carnage for one, stunned second and fumbles for the TV remote to turn it off, powering it down in the middle of an informercial about a magic towel that can clean any mess that inexplicably seems to be playing on repeat.

Silence rings in Neil’s ears, blotted out only by the blood rushing to his head. He briefly wonders what the hell happened last night, but trying to think back makes his head hurt worse, so he decides to go seek out Matt. Neil doubts Matt is in any better shape that Neil is, but maybe he remembers a bit of what they did to get in this situation.

The person he finds passed out in the kitchen is not Matt at all. For one, they are about six inches too short and their skin is three shades too pale. Secondly, they are dressed in nothing but shorts and the grinning head of Palmetto’s mascot, Foxy Roxy. Neil blinks in surprise at the half-naked stranger slumped on the floor before making sure they’re still breathing. When Neil is satisfied that he didn’t accidentally stumble across a body, he continues his search for Matt.

Neil finds him face-down on the floor behind the couch, snoring soundly and cradling a bottle of vodka, dyed an electric shade of orange. That, Neil supposes, would explain the stain by the TV. At least Matt is mostly dressed.

“Matt,” Neil hisses and nudges him lightly in the ribs. When he doesn’t stir, he kicks him a little harder. “Wake up,”

“Allison leave those gnomes alone,” Matt mutters incoherently. He turns over in his sleep and the vodka rolls away from him. Arms now empty, Matt wraps his arms around himself and hugs his chest. Neil isn’t paying attention to any of that though, his eyes are glued to Matt’s face, still slack with sleep.

Mostly, he looks normal. Except he doesn’t have any eyebrows, and what looks to be a single fake mustache from Party City is clinging for dear life where his left brow should be.

Neil presses a hand to his mouth, not sure whether the look on his face is one of horror and shock, or of laughter. He kicks Matt again.

“Ow, fuck,” Matt groans and opens his eyes. He says nothing at first, squinting up at Neil with a look that says he has the worst hangover ever. Then his eyes widen and his mouth falls open into a comical little o.

“Neil,” he says, hushed. “Your face.”

Neil’s hands fly to his face, scared of what he might find, but instead of the eyebrow’s he expects, his fingers meet smooth, freshly shaved skin.

“No,” he whispers.

Matt cackles, still staring at the unfortunate lack of facial hair on Neil’s face.

“Don’t laugh,” gripes Neil, covering the place where his eyebrows used to be with his hands. “Yours are gone too.”

The humor drains out of Matt’s face and he gasps, clutching his forehead. His clumsy hands dislodge the fake mustache and he watches it flutter to the floor with something like horror on his face. “No,” he mourns, picking it up and cradling it in his hands.

“What the hell happened?” Neil demands.

Matt is still staring at the faux-facial hair, mouth opening and closing in shock. Neil grabs his face and forces him to focus. “Matty,” he says, “we’re in deep shit.”

“The last thing I remember is walking to the liquor store for more alcohol,” Matt says, coming back to his senses. “This was before…” Matt spots the guy passed out in the kitchen. His eyebrows would have furrowed in confusion if he still had any. “That,” he says. “But after we had a popcorn fight.”

“I don’t remember any of that,” Neil admits. “Hang on, where’s my phone?”

“Why?” Matt asks. “You never use your phone.”

“Unless I’m drunk.” Neil ducks his head under the couch, looking for anything that looks vaguely like his outdated cellphone. He only finds more popcorn. He gives up his search when he swipes his hand along the kitchen counter and it comes away sticky.

“Maybe you left it outside?” Matt suggests. “I think you tried to call Andrew right before we came back in.”

“Great,” Neil says. He makes for the door, but Matt’s arm shooting out in front of him stop him in his tracks.

“We can’t go out like this,” he says, motioning to his face. He casts his gaze around the destruction in the room and his eyes light up when they fall on the coffee table. He lunges, knocking various bottles of soda and a sock away in his haste to get whatever it is he’s scrounging for.

He holds it up for Neil to inspect. It’s the remaining fake mustaches, tucked safely inside a plastic packet that is indeed from Party City.

“This could work?” he says. He glances from the mustaches to Neil, considering. He hold it up to Neil’s face. “I think this might actually be your shade.”

“I’m not putting that on my face,” Neil says, nonplussed and at awe that Matt would suggest such a thing.

“Go and be eyebrow-less then,” Matt sniffs. “Release your inhibitions.”

Scowling, Neil snatches the mustaches from his hands and fishes out them out. He shakes them out on to his hand. Two fall out, only enough for one.

There’s a beat of silence. Matt and Neil look at each other, and then at the fake mustaches.

“You can – ” Neil starts but Matt interrupts.

“No, no. You take them, buddy,” he says tearfully. He takes the mustaches from Neil and peels the paper off the sticky backing and carefully presses each one into their proper places.

They stare at each other for a long moment; Matt, eyebrow-less. Neil, clinging onto the last vestiges of his dignity. Matt is the one to break the silence.

“Neil,” he says, “you’re going to need to put your shoes on.”

After Neil locates his other shoe and he and Matt leave to find Neil’s phone, their search is interrupted by a large man angrily shouting in their direction. He storms over, red-faced and spitting out a stream of explicatives that would have any southerner clutching their pearls.

“Is he talking to us?” Matt asks. He’s still quite hungover; a pair of sunglasses shades his eyes from the afternoon sun and he wipes away the damp sheen of sweat clinging to his forehead with the back of his hand.

Neil, equally as hungover, squints at the man approaching. Upon further inspection, Neil recognizes him as the pitcher from Palmetto’s baseball team, Ricky Mercado. As far as Neil knows, they have never interacted.

“Nah,” he says. “He must be after someone else.”

“Neil Josten!” Ricky screams and too late Neil notices that he and Matt are the only other people in sight.

“Oh shit,” Neil says.

“What did you do?” Matt whispers, voice pitched furiously low.

“You better watch it, Josten,” Ricky says, close enough that Neil can see how truly mad he is. He reminds Neil of a bull, nostrils flaring, eyes wide enough to see the ring of white around the iris. Ready to charge. “I’ll fuck you up.”

Neil’s eyes narrow. Ricky is a lot taller than Neil and sure, he’s muscular, but Neil has survived all attempts on his life thus far in his twenty-year old life and he is not about to get taken out by some dumb baseball player who isn’t good enough to play the most important sport in the world, exy.

Slowed by the hangover, his brain doesn’t catch up to his mouth before he shoots back, “I’d like to see you try.”

Ricky seethes, and for a moment he does look like he’s about to charge. Neil braces himself but Matt scoops him up and throws him over his shoulder before Ricky can take even a step closer.

“No he would not!” says Matt over his shoulder as he books it back to the safety of Fox Tower.

Or, it would be safety if Ricky Mercado wasn’t a baseball player, and therefore didn’t have access to the building Matt was currently seeking for refuge. He stayed on their tail, shouting, gesticulating wildly, and occasionally throwing in some uncreative death threats. Neil has heard better and more convincing.

Actually, Neil thought Ricky might be acting out whatever Neil had done to piss him off, but Neil was either too hungover or Ricky too bad an actor for him to really understand what had happened.

They make it back in the building and up the stairs still intact, and soon enough they return to Matt’s suite. The mess is still there, the half-dressed mascot is not, and a new figure stands in the kitchen, surveying the damage. There’s a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and he looks rumpled in the way that spending a few hours on a plane would do to a person. He turns around, face unimpressed and arms folded across his chest.

“Andrew,” Neil says the same moment Matt sags with relief and whispers, “thank God.”

“Boyd,” Andrew acknowledges him. “Why are you carrying Neil over your shoulder?”

“Your boyfriend.” Matt jostles Neil as he says this and Neil wiggles until Matt lets him down. “Almost got us killed. He pissed off one of the baseball players and now he’s hunting us down. Please save us.”

As if on cue, there’s a loud banging on the door and Neil thanks whatever deity above that Matt had thought to lock the door. The person on the other side yells in frustration and begins to slam against the door. Neil is starting to think Andrew had a point when he said Neil has a way of making people want to kill him.

“Hmm,” Andrew says noncommittally and looks around Matt to where Neil is attempting to hide behind his large body, covering his forehead so Andrew doesn’t see the fake eyebrows. Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a familiar gray cell phone.

“Oh!” Matt exclaims. “Where did you find it?”

“Nicky. He said he confiscated it last night,” Andrew says, eyes never straying from Neil’s face.

“We got a little drunk last night,” Neil admits, inching toward the door. He thinks death by angry baseball player is preferable to Andrew seeing what he had done to his face.

“That explains these,” says Andrew. He tossed the phone to Neil, opened up to their thread of messages.

It starts off normal, but at around midnight, Neil sent a video of himself dancing on the coffee table while someone off-screen throws popcorn at him. It’s far from what Neil thinks a person drunkenly dancing on the table should look like. The lighting is bad and so is Neil’s dancing, arms thrown in every which way and hips doing a little too much. It appears he’s attempting the macarena with a few added steps.

The second message is from an hour later and reads, would yoi still loveme if I ddni’t have eyebrows :(

So the jig is up.

Neil cringes and drops his hands. Andrew, privileged to have eyebrows fully intact, raises them at the sight of the ginger mustaches stuck to Neil’s face, and reaches up to peel them off. Neil thinks he sees a flash of amusement in his eyes before Andrew lets the mustaches drop to the floor. Neil is too embarrassed to say anything, but Andrew doesn’t notice. He looks around the room before grabbing a disemboweled lamp and weighing it in his hand.

“Get this mess cleaned up,” he says. “I’ll be right back.”

Then he leaves, and Matt and Neil stare after him.

“Is he going to – ” Matt starts but Neil interrupts.

“Not important,” he says, waving his hand to get Matt’s attention. “We need trash bags and a vacuum cleaner.”

“And the will of God,” Matt nods as he begins to pick up cans and boxes of candy from the floor.

It takes an hour, three large black trash bags, and some duct tape to get the mess cleaned up. By now Andrew has returned, and is idly watching them from his perch on the arm of the couch. He offers no help, instead he slowly and methodically eats through a pint of ice cream, digging out the chunks of chocolate to eat first. When asked, he does not explain what he did with the lamp.

“You missed a spot,” he says and points to the large orange stain on the carpet with his spoon.

Matt pushes the entertainment center three feet to the right, where it covers the majority of the orange carpet. “No we didn’t,” he replies.

When they’re finished, Matt collapses at the kitchen table over a bowl of cereal and begins to snore. Neil wanders over to Andrew, head ducked to his chest and hood pulled over his eyes. Andrew pulls the hood down, eyes trailing up to the empty spaces where Neil’s eyebrows had been just last night.

“Do you think I can draw them on?” Neil asks. He’s seen Allison touch up her eyebrows with a brow pencil, so he should be able to draw in what he was missing, right?

Andrew huffs and curls his fingers in the collar of Neil’s hoodie. “Idiot,” he says softly, and presses a kiss to Neil’s forehead. Neil melts into his embrace, relieved that the whole fiasco is finally over and he can relax in Andrew’s arms with Andrew’s lips pressed against his.

“I hope you didn’t throw those mustaches away,” Andrew says once he pulls away, and Neil laughs.

“Too late,” he says and decides that he’s never drinking that much alcohol ever again.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Can I request how each boy would take care of the reader when they are sick? Your writing is awesome!

Thank you so much for requesting, and thank you for the compliment love! 💕💕 I hope you like this :)

......

David:

He always watches over you, doesn't matter if you're human or not. If you date him, he'll watch out for you and over you. He's really quite protective, and you can't be sure whether it is because of his nature or because of his desire to look tough 24/7.

So, he'll notice immediately when something is off. Your temperature is higher than usual? You have a running nose, shivers running down your back or a sore throat? Yeah, he'll know immediately.

Henwont force you to go to a doctor, simply because he's older than said doctor and probably knows what you got under your skin already. He'll take you home (either the cave or your place, depending on where you live) and will tell you to grab a blanket and either lay in bed or lay on the couch. He's actually quite sweet when you're not feeling well. He'll bring food, he'll stay with you to watch movies and just keep you company.

He often stays with you until you're feeling well again. But even then, you just got to sneeze or he's fussing over you again.

..........

Dwayne:

He's protective, yes, but he also trusts you enough to let you deal with stuff on your own. He'll notice when you're about to catch a cold, and he'll tell you, but more than that? Not until you feel so terrible you won't leave the house. When that happens, he'll be there, immediately.

He knows what to treat with medicine, and what can be done with herbs (heartburn can be helped with chamomile tea, just as a headache can be helped with it) and he's the best at getting you just what you needed, even when you didn't even know you needed it.

He'll bring you to the cave. He makes sure the barrels are lit so it's warm, and he covers you in a blanket. Then he just stays with you, often holding you close, occasionally checking your temperature as he reads. Most of the time he reads out loud. It distracts you from whatever you're dealing with, and often it helps you fall asleep.

He'll make sure you get healthy food instead of the junk food the boys eat, and he will do everything he can to make sure you sleep well.

............

Marko :

He's young and has not been a vampire for long. You get sick and he is WORRIED. No kidding. He will try his best to take care of you, but be prepared for some clumsiness when it comes to comforting and healing.

He is smart, so obviously he knows sleep is important, and that staying warm is important, but when you're turning green and are throwing up and you literally feel like shit... Yeah, then he doesn't know what will help you. He'll rub your back, and then, after you're sure you're done he'll take you to a doctor, no matter the time at night.

He then makes sure you do exactly as the doc said. You need to take medicine at twelve, two and four o'clock? He'll make sure you take it on that exact minute. At least nine hours of sleep? He'll stay with you, hold you as you sleep and make sure you get what you need. He'll do everything in his power to make sure you're getting better, even if it means that he'll skip a few hunts (he'll drink from the bottle) or that he won't sleep much the next few days.

You're important, and he'll be damned if you stay sick long.

..........

Paul:

Whoever is up there, bless him, but he can be quite oblivious. You can be sweating, obviously not feeling well and he will be able to miss it. When he realises that you're having a fever, or that you are having a splitting headache, he'll drag you off the boardwalk immediately.

He'll ask you what you need, and then make sure you get it. He takes you to an empty part of the beach, away from the crowds and the boardwalk, just so you can breathe and relax a little. He remembers that fresh air always helped him, and he hopes it will do the same to you.

After that he'll take you home, either flying or by bike, depending on what you think you can handle best that night, and he'll make sure that you're comfortable. An extra pillow or blanket? Done? You want some tea or soda? On the way. You only have to ask and he'll give you whatever. He just wants you to feel better. He hates seeing you sick.

At nights when you're sick he will always lay next to you, and he'll practically melt when you curl up against him. Not because you have such a high fever though, but because he finds you adorable and is glad you feel comfortable enough to cuddle with him.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. What would you do if your pet suddenly started to talk to you, but nobody else could hear it? Would you assume you'd gone mad or simply be happy for the company? Would you try to convince your friends and family or would you be satisfied keeping it to yourself? Omggg, that would be so trippy. I’d definitely be freaked out at first and think someone slipped me something haha. I think I’d keep trying to talk to her and get her to respond before it really set it in that it was really happening. I’d have so many questions and things I’d want to say. That would be so cool. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have anything bad to say... ha. What if she just started going in on me about everything I’ve said and what she has observed. She’d be like, “girl, you need to get your shit together.” haha. What if she wasn’t as sweet and loving as I think she is? :O lol. Nah, we’d have an even closer bond. (: Anyway, I honestly don’t know if I would tell anyone. I’d certainly want to. I’m positive I would try and record her talking for proof. If not, then maybe I’d try to prove it another way. Like, have my family say or ask her something without me hearing and then ask her about it and tell them what she said. I’d find some way!

2. When you answer the phone, what do you typically say? Is it different depending on whom the caller ID says it is (if you have caller ID)? Generally, just a typical “hello.” Sometimes I’ll say something else when my mom calls. Like, jokingly I might act annoyed and say, “What do you want?” or “Hey, boobala/boob” lol. My family and I call each other those nicknames. 

3. Is there a food that you only recently started to like? If so, what is it and when did you start liking it? How often do you try again foods you don't like to see if your tastes have changed? Prior to a couple months ago I didn’t eat breakfast sandwiches very often and the addition of cream cheese was something new for me. It’s not that I didn’t like breakfast sandwiches before, it just wasn’t something I had too often. My brother got me hooked on this local place that makes ‘em and then we started making our own. I also started eating guacamole with my scrambled eggs. I don’t retry foods I don’t like. If I don’t like something then I just don’t eat it again. 

4. Who would you NOT want to read the surveys you've posted on here? What would most likely happen if they did read it? Is there anyone you actually wish would read your survey answers but whom doesn't? I’m really open on here and share stuff that I don’t express or open up about in person. I can get deep and dark sometimes. I wouldn’t want my family to see some of my responses because I wouldn’t want them to worry or know certain things. There isn’t anyone I know that I want to see my surveys. These are like my personal journal entries. ...that people I don’t know can read... ha.

5. What three things do you think will become obsolete in the next ten years, and why? Hmm. I don’t know. That requires more thinking than I can be bothered to do.

6. Do you watch Glee? If so, which song do you want to hear on there that they have not yet done? If not, which TV show do you think has the best soundtrack? No, I never got into Glee. I’m not sure about which show I’d say has the best soundtrack. I don’t really pay that much attention to that.

7. What do you find to be the most irritating piece of clothing to wear wet? Are you the type of person to go to great lengths to avoid getting your clothing wet? What about your hair? Jeans for sure, but I don’t like wearing wet clothes of any kind. It’s just uncomfortable and makes me cold. I don’t feel I have to go great lengths to avoid getting wet, though. I don’t encounter situations where that could happen all that often. I don’t mind if it’s raining and I get a little wet, but I don’t want to get drenched. I don’t really care about my hair getting wet anymore, but I used to hate it when I actually attempted styling my hair because my hair gets very frizzy and flat when it gets wet. 

8. How often do you witness discrimination? Do you ever speak up about it when you do see it? Or would you only speak up if the discrimination was directed toward you or someone close to you? >> I don't often witness anything, to be honest, since I'm home so often. I don't really have significant experience with blatant discrimination, despite my myriad marginalities. <<< 

9. Do you think you would be able to pull off a crime perfectly, without being caught? What about other lies? For example, cheating on your partner without getting caught? Would you be able to get away with it? No. Not that I have any desire to try, but I know I would be too scared and anxious and make mistakes. Not to mention the guilt. Something would give myself away for sure. 

10. Are you the type to get embarrassed if your parent/parents acts/act your age? Do they do this often? Or do you think it's stupid to put an age on the way one can act? Pfft, my parents are awesome. My mom especially is a lot cooler than me. People love her.

11. Do you know anyone who has divorced and remarried the same person? What do you/would you think of someone who does that? No, not personally.  12. Do you say goodnight to anybody before you go to bed? If so, does it feel weird if you go to bed without saying it to them? My family and I say it to each other and yeah it does feel weird if for some reason one of us doesn’t. 

13. How do you react when you're scared? Do you scream, jump, cover your eyes, etc.? I’m really jumpy and skittish. If it involves a bug, I really freak out and it’s super embarrassing. 

14. Who is the best storyteller you know? What do you find best about their storytelling? Is there an interesting story of theirs you'd like to share? My grandpa was. He always told the best stories and he had a lot of ‘em. They could be quite long and go off on tangents at times, but they always came full circle. And he was really funny, too. 

15. When you check your e-mail account, how much of it do you delete without even looking at it? Do you have a separate account for junk like this? A lot of it, honestly. Some I can tell by the subject line if it’s something of interest to me like a particular sale. 

16. Do you strongly dislike (or even hate) any bands or musical artists? If so, what caused such a strong negative emotion towards them? No, I don’t have any strong negative emotions towards a band or artist. If there’s one I don’t like then I just don’t listen to them, that’s really it. 

17. What are you listening to? Is it something you would normally be found listening to, or just something you've started listening to recently? Yeah, I listen to a lot of ASMR.

18. Does/did your school bus stop directly in front of your house? If not, where does/did it stop? I never had to take the school bus, but no there isn’t one that stops in my neighborhood that I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure where to be honest. I did take the public bus in college sometimes, though. The bus stop isn’t right by my house, but it only took me a few minutes to get to it. 

19. Do you parents have any collections? If so, what do you think of those collections? My dad has his various sports memorabilia and shoes, my mom has a lot of stuff for her favorite football team, shoes, books, Baby Yoda stuff, Disney Loungefly backpacks, and some other knickknacks. 

20. Are there any movies you watch when you're feeling anxious or depressed? If so, what are they, and what about them calms you down and/or lifts your spirits? No, I don’t tend to turn to movies for that. I turn to ASMR and/or another one of my distractions. If I do decide to turn to TV, I just put on something mindless that I’ve already seen that doesn’t require much thinking or paying attention. 

21. Would you rather see a band/artist perform in a small club, an arena, or at an outdoor venue? Why? Which one have you been to most recently? I enjoy arenas, personally. From my experience, I’ve never had to be hugged up on people or feel claustrophobic in an arena. Since I’m in a wheelchair, I’ve always just sat up in the nosebleeds and there’s plenty of space and not a lot of people. I can also see better. At a small club or outdoor venue, people would be standing and I wouldn’t be able to see at all.

22. Do you have a favourite role of Johnny Depp's? If you don't like him, what is your favourite role of an actor you like? I’ve always thought he was a very talented actor. My favorite role of his is Sweeney Todd.

23. If you were in a competition to win your dream prize, and you were allowed to decide what the competition would be (trivia about your favourite band, a foot race, singing, etc.) , what would you choose and why? Uhhh. I feel like I’d still end up losing somehow even if I got to choose the competition, ha. I don’t feel like I’m super knowledgeable or especially great at anything.

24. What is your least favourite thing about the English language? Are there any other languages you prefer besides English? Just how we have words like “read” that can be pronounced differently depending on how its used and silent letters. Like why are silent letters a thing? 

25. Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that they had committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship? What type of crime are we talking about and did they already serve their time or whatever was required? That would be a very difficult situation to be in to say the least. If we were in a long-term relationship I couldn’t just drop them and end things like that unless they told me they committed a murder. That would cause a whirlwind of emotions and confusion and shock and gah it would be horrible. It’d be difficult because I would know a different side of them and still have feelings for them, but I wouldn’t able to get past something that serious. 

26. Who, out of the people you know, do you think has the most messed-up relationship? Have you ever spoken up about it or do you stay out of it? Have you ever been in a relationship that was really messed-up? No one I know currently. 

27. What emotion have you been feeling most commonly lately? Do you like feeling this way? If not, have you done anything to try to change it? Depressed, moody, irritable, frustrated... that’s been ongoing for years now, though. I hate feeling that way, yet I haven’t done anything to try and change it. :/

28. Why did you/your parents choose to live where you do now? Would you move right now if you were able to? Why/why not? If so, where would you like to go? My mom was born here and majority of her family lived and still live here. I’m not quite sure when my dad and his parents came here. My paternal grandparents lived here for awhile until they moved out of state about 20 years ago. My mom was very close to her parents, but they’ve both passed away 10 and 15 years ago now. But yeah, being near family and already living here was the main reason. There was other stuff, too, like not wanting me or my brother to have to change schools and then we both went to the local UC, which is a really great college. And stuff like my parents’ jobs being here and not being financially able to move. So yeah, it’s a lot of different factors, but we’ve honestly been wanting to move for a very long time. We don’t care much for the city itself. I don’t feel tied here despite living all my 31 years here so far. The last year we’ve gotten a little more serious about it and have taken some necessary steps. My brother is graduating soon and I think after that we’re going to finally do it.

29. Is there a song that you think, lyrically, describes your childhood? Have you ever had a song describe your life perfectly, each and every word? How does it make you feel when you come across songs like this? Not my childhood, but yeah there’s several songs that I just really relate to where the lyrics seem to speak right to me. I like using relatable quotes and lyrics to try and express myself or describe how I’m feeling because they do it much better than I can.

30. Do you tend to befriend people who are of a similar, smaller or larger weight than yourself? (Even if it doesn't matter to you, you can admit it.) Has it always been this way? That has honestly never been a factor when befriending someone... like, that doesn’t matter at all. I don’t know why it would. I’m concerned about a person’s personality, who they are as a person, or whether or not we connect.

31. List a random fact (each) you know about 5 of your favourite survey takers: Lane (@inchoate-surveys) has a dog that looks so much like mine named Finn. Elisabeth @bionic-beth) is a teacher in New York. Robyn (@ssurveys) likes Paramore. Lina ( @iaintgotcontrol) is from Sweden, which I think is really cool. I’d love to visit someday. Lauren (@brilliant-bloss0ms) is into interior design. 

32. Whenever you have a question about something random, are you more likely to ask Google or someone you know? Does it depend on what exactly you want to know? Do you do both? I just Google it real quick.

33. How old were you when you went on your first date? Was there anything you would change about the experience? How do you think it shaped your expectations? If you've never been on a date, what did you like best about the last meal you ate? I was in my early 20s. We went to dinner and a movie, which was how I thought a first date should go. It was nice.

34. If you had to serve a meal to an ambassador from another country that symbolized your country's culture, what would you choose? Do you think s/he would love it as much as you do? Hamburgers, fries, and apple pie. ha. That’s not my favorite meal, though. If I served my favorite food it would be boneless garic parm and lemon pepper wings, ha.

35. If someone broke into your house and robbed you, what could they take that would piss you off or upset you the most? To what lengths would you go to get it back? Has something like this already happened to you before? My laptop, definitely. There wouldn’t be a whole lot I could do to get it back. I mean yeah, I could file a report but I wouldn’t expect to ever get it back. No, thankfully nothing like that has happened before.

36. Do you enjoy watching the special features found on most DVDs? What do you usually enjoy more: the deleted scenes, the bloopers, the audio commentary, or the behind-the-scenes footage? I very rarely ever watched those, but if I did I checked out the bloopers and maybe the behind-the-scenes footage.

37. Do you care at all about the Stanley Cup playoffs? If so, which team are you rooting for, and is it different than the team you're sure will make it to the cup? If you don't care, is your family the type to get right into a sport, or is the topic of sports rarely spoken about in your house? My dad loves sports and my mom has her favorite football that she gets really into, but I have no interest in sports at all.

38. Have you ever had your own flower garden? If so, what are/were your favourite flowers to plant? No.

39. Would you ever date someone who is exactly like your youngest (or oldest, if you're the youngest) sibling? Why/why not? Some of the same qualities, yeah, such as intelligent, hardworking, ambitious, responsible, funny. 

40. Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now? I was terrified of Ghost Face as a kid and now Scream is one of my favorite scary movies.

[6rookie-writer0110]

Can I kiss you again?

Brie Larson x Reader

Summary- Brie surprise Reader with a trip.

Brie has always been in love with you, since the first day she met you. But never said anything because she was too scared to tell you. Brie has dated other people to move on from you but those relationships didn’t work out. And her feelings for you never left it just for stronger.

Brie found out about Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, she is feeling exhilarate. She booked the flight and hotel room. She can’t wait to tell you about it, because you and Brie are big fans of Star Wars.

Tonight is, Star Wars movie marathon, you and Brie always have movie marathons. You came with junk food and clothes to spend the night with her.

”Y/N!” Brie yelled with joy.

She hugged you really tight and you dropped the bags and hugged her. Brie has been traveling a lot and she is finally home.

”I missed you so much,” Brie said.

She can’t stop smiling.

”I thought you forgot about me” You joked.

”No way, I can never forget about you. Ready for Star Wars movie marathon?” Brie said.

You nod ”Duh”

She laughed. You and Brie put on star wars pajama clothes. Brie set up the couch, got extra blanket and pillows, now she waits for you to join her. The air conditioner is on high and her loft is getting colder.

”Y/N hurry up!” Brie yelled.

”I’m coming!” You yelled back.

You walked into the living room, holding drinks and a bowl of popcorn. Tonight, you and Brie will watch Solo: A Star Wars Story.

You sat close to her and got comfortable. While you are watching the movie, Brie looks at you and she wants to kiss you so badly. She turns her attention back to the movie and eats popcorn with you.

You have feelings for Brie but never told her because you feel she won’t feel the same way. Yeah, you dated other people but you felt it wasn’t going anywhere.

”Y/N, I have awesome news for you,” Brie said.

”Tell me,” You said.

”We are going to do Disneyland,” Brie said and she has a huge smile on her face.

”That’s beyond awesome! But why?” You said.

”This is why” Brie said

She takes out her phone and she shows the pictures of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. You became super excited now you or Brie can’t stop smiling.

”Holy shit, Brie this soo amazing. When do we leave?” You said.

”Tomorrow night. So we have to pack very soon” Brie said.

”i don’t know what you say besides say you are freaking awesome!” You said.

Brie laughed then you hugged her, brie wanted to kiss you.

After the movie, you and Brie lay in bed together, and she shows you what to do in

Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. And the hotel where you two will stay.

You have your head on her shoulder, you have your arm around her waist.

”Brie, this trip will be awesome. I can’t wait” You said.

”Me too. Maybe we can wear matching Star Wars shirts?” Brie said.

”I think we should do it,” You said and she smiled.

Later, you fell asleep because you have been all day and worked long hours. Brie puts her phone away and she stares at you.

”I love you, Y/N,” Brie said in a very low whisper.

She turns off the light and goes to sleep.

—–

Usually, you or Brie would sleep all morning but you two are in Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge. You and Brie do have on matching Star Wars shirts. This feels like a dream come true, you and Brie can actually be on the pilots the Millennium Falcon. Build your own lightsaber, have a drink at the famous Og’s Cantina bar.

Yeah, the lines are long but in the end, it’s worth it. You and Brie are taking so many pictures together.

You and Brie went to the gift shop, you two wander around the store. Brie saw you talking to a stranger, Brie gets jealous because Brie thinks you are flirting with someone. But you are not because the person is asking where is the bathroom.

”Brie, let’s get something to eat and I’m tired,” You said.

”Whatever” Brie said and walked away.

You start to think about what is bothering her. You can’t follow her and all day she has been ignoring you.

”What is going on? Are you mad at me?” You asked.

”I don’t want to talk I’m going back to the hotel room,” Brie snapped and walked away.

You want to give her space so you stayed behind.

Hours later and its nighttime and you haven’t returned to the hotel room. Brie did get worried about you before she opened the door you opened it.

”Hey,” You said.

”Hey,” Brie said.

”Brie, tell me what is going on,” You said.

Brie sigh, it’s now or never. Brie struggled to find the words to tell you, that she is in love with you. Brie kissed you on the lips and your back is against the door.

You start to kiss her back, her lips feel incredible.

”What-um-” You said.

You didn’t know what to say so you kept stuttering. Brie takes out a small book and you wait for her to say something.

”Y/N I have been in love with you since the first day we met. I never said anything because we always dated other people. And I kept thinking about what if and other stuff. I got tired it and I been struggling how to say that I love you. I want to be your girlfriend and I really want to be with you. If you don’t feel the same way I understand but I don’t want to lose our friendship” Brie said.

”What’s the book for?” You asked.

”I saved the first movie ticket that we went together to see. and it’s the first time I knew that I officially fell in love with you since then I have saved every movie ticket when we went to the movies” Brie said.

She gave you the book and you remember the first movie, you and Brie saw together which was Captain America: The First Avenger 2011.

”Do you feel the same way?” Brie asked

”Yes. I’m in love with you too, I just didn’t say anything because I thought you wouldn’t feel the same way about me. I tried to move on but I have couldn’t. And you saving every movie ticket for the movies we saw together, that is really sweet. But I don’t get why you snapped at me earlier” You said.

”Oh, um I for jealous thought that person was flirting with you,” Brie said.

You laughed ”They just needed directions to the bathroom”

”Oh. I’m sorry that I snapped at you” Brie said.

”You can make it up to me, by buying me ice cream and we hold hands while we watch the ceremony” You said.

”Deal. Can I kiss you again?” Brie said.

”You don’t have to ask. You are my girlfriend” You said.

You and Brie blushed and she kissed you.

You and Brie left the hotel room holding hands. The ceremony started and the fireworks too. Harrison Ford, George Lucas, Billy Dee Williams, and Mark Hamill went on stage and everyone cheered for them.

Before going back to the hotel room, you bought your girlfriend a gift.

”So you are really my girlfriend?” You asked and Brie giggles.

”Yeah,” Brie said

Brie kissed you in front of everyone.

—

Brie just came out of the shower and you are in bed. Brie is getting ready for bed but you are not paying attention to her. You have your eyes closed

”Y/N did you even hear what I said?” Brie asked.

You opened your eyes and blinked a few times.

”Yeah, I heard you” You lied.

”What I said?” Brie asked.

”Something about something,” You said.

”I said, maybe our first date can be tomorrow. Since we confessed our feelings to each other here a few hours ago” Brie said.

Brie crawled into bed and she cuddles with you.

”Yeah, tomorrow will be our official date,” You said.

You have your eyes closed when you said that. You want to go to sleep already and she just smiled.

”So rude. But you are cute so I can’t get mad about it. Let’s sleep” Brie said.

You opened your eyes.

”Forgive me, if we cuddle?” You asked.

”Yeah if we cuddle,” Brie said.

You and Brie get comfortable in bed, you and Brie hold each other and fall asleep.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #289

“life by life / waste to waste / i’m the harbinger, the master of decay”

How often do you watch the news? Never. Would you rather read the news online? Yeah. Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? YouTube. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty. Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? Turtles, yes, as a kid. Please do not take animals out of the wild for no good reason, people. I never touched crawfish because they looked scary lmao. Have you ever eaten gumbo? Idk what that is. Or do you not like spicy food? I enjoy spicy food, but not nearly as much as when I was a teen. Back then, I loved the adrenaline rush, now I just wanna enjoy my food like a normal person, lol. Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? Does anyone NOT at this time? Or even before, really? But anyway, no, I don't like the smell. Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? Okay so one of the coolest things we had when I was younger was this table that had different "tops" to change out to turn it into various games like these. Like, it was all in one. I don't THINK we still have it? Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? I live with my mom, and right now, it's the better idea for many reasons. I feel like shit about it, though. I'm nearly 25. Even if I was financially independent though, I would not be able to handle living all alone with my depression and all. When did/when do you want to move out? Hopefully when I have a stable job and long-term relationship. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Are you better at catching or throwing? Probably throwing. I can't catch for shit. Do you ever play computer games? Just WoW nowadays. Did you used to have a lunchbox? Yeah, I went through a few. How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? Whenever I didn't like what was on the menu. And mind you, I was and still am very picky. What was/is your favorite school lunch? I think the chicken sandwiches. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? Oh yikes, who on Earth knows. It has to have been years. Maybe a Carolina Hurricanes one to a hockey game I went to with Dad. I don't really wear hats. Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? No. Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? Gold; diamonds; earrings; rings (I think). I don't care all that much about jewelry, though. Have you ever made jewelry? Not really, just kiddy crafts stuff. Do you have any unique hobbies? Meerkat RP. Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? Yeah. I had tubes put in my ears as a kid, and I had a cyst removed from... directly above my ass lmaoooo. Pilonidal cysts are awesome. Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? I don't believe so. Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate, for sure. Do you like green tea? Tea is gross. Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? I only know Mahjong, and I've never played that. I used to watch Mom play it on the computer as a kid, though. Idr the rules. Does your family own guns? No. Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? Both. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? No, and I doubt I will. I'm not like... really scared of them, as a matter of fact they seem really fun, they're just too risky for my liking. Have you ever seen a dead body? At an open-casket wake, yes. What does your umbrella look like? It's just an ordinary black one. Is anyone you know pregnant? HOLY FUCK, I think 90% of my Facebook friends are preggo. It seems like EVERYONE is expecting. Ha, one of my closest friends is legit pregnant with triplets after JUST having a son... She's in for a ride. Does your family do reunion gatherings? No, we're too spread out. What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A strawberry sangria sounds pretty great. When was the last time you had a first kiss? I'm guessing you mean like, my first kiss with the last person I was with? A few summers ago when we were out on the porch making s'mores and dancing like some cheesy fucks lmao. How many homes have you ever lived in? If you don't count the apartment I wasn't an official resident of or staying with a friend for a month due to homelessness, we just moved into our fifth. Or sixth. It's too early when I'm taking this for math. Have you ever donated money to charity? Yeah. What’s your favourite type of exercise? Swimming. How many jobs have you had? Three or four... I'm not even sure because they were so incredibly short because fuck me and my anxiety, right? Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. Write the first song that pops into your head: Well, I'm listening to "Freak On a Leash" right now. Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? Nah. What is your main responsibility each day? Making sure my cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. I've slacked on the box before on bad mental health days where I can barely force myself to do anything, but I'm usually on top of it. Were you in the wrong during your last argument with someone? I don't recall what my last argument was. I think something w/ Mom. What bands did you used to love, that you don’t listen to much anymore? Hm. It's pretty rare I leave behind bands I've LOVED, so. Are you counting down to anything? tomorrow crihmus When was the last time you used spray paint? Oh, I have no idea. Maybe for an art project in HS? What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown. Have you ever or do you plan on donating to any charities? Which ones? I've donated to some you would like pass by in the store if I had some spare coins or dollars on me, and when I cut my hair to as short as it is now, I donated it all to Children With Hair Loss. One of my most cherished memories is getting the certificate that it was used. I'm sure there's more, especially for school, but idr them. I 110% want to donate to charity streams when I have my own income source. Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? I mean, this depends on your unique life. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Hm. I don't think Girt has a middle name, and I don't think Tyler ever told me because he was embarrassed by it. I know Sara's. Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? No. Who is the friendliest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Last song you listened to? "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez is on rn. Something that annoys you about summer: Just ONE thing???? Just about everything does. The only thing I enjoy is all the flowers. Well hell, that's even mostly a spring thing. It's mostly just... plain green in the summer. At least here. Too hot for damn flowers to survive. Something that annoys you about winter: The fact that if it snows here, we get barely anything at all. e_e Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side by side. When was the last time you burned a body part other than your hands/fingers? I actually just burned the roof of my mouth yesterday. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. What’s one food that you eat more than twice a week? Definitely some form of bread. Do you like zombie movies? No opinion, really. What's the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? UGH. This one time I was in the bathroom with Colleen (it's a girl thing lmao) at a gas station, she did what she normally does and checks under the seat, aND IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. It was fucking disgusting. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Ugh... use plastic bags when disposing of Roman's "business" in the litterbox. I feel absolutely awful using one every other day. If I wait any longer than that, Mom gets mad. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Probably to Jason via that letter. That honestly wasn't that difficult after having fully accepted I fucked up too, though. I don't generally find it hard to apologize when I know I was wrong. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Fuck no. They depress the hell out of me. What was your worst Halloween costume? Idk, I don't remember almost any of mine. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I checked into the doctor by myself. Yes, I know how sad that is at nearly 25. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? As a kid, there was just one where I was disappointed in what I got. SO fucking ungrateful looking back on that shit. I can't even imagine feeling anything like that now. I cherish Christmas deeply, especially now with nieces and a nephew who experience such joy at Christmastime, and I get to see my dad and his wife and stepson, too. At this age, it truly is about family to me. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I think we may have some princess ones and some "boy" kind for if the kids are ever over. AKA never because their dad is far more concerned about only including his family in their lives. I don't think Ryder's ever even visited our house, and he's like, four years old. My sister's husband's parents live directly down their road, but still. It hurts Mom and I a lot that we don't seem to matter when it comes to visiting *us*. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yeah, plenty of times with our old cat nest. What's the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I dunno, probably something at Disney as a kid. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah. I had my "good guys" - a family of alligators, deer (um they were married and had kids don't ask me, man), and some Pokemon figurines - and three big dinos that were the "bad guys." How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Egg yolk is fucking repulsive. The one and only way it's going down my throat is in scrambled eggs. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Not that I remember. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? I dunno, I have so few already... Maybe World of Warcraft? I almost quit it recently anyway because I was bored and yet it took up so much of my time, but it'd be hard now with a new expansion having just come out with soooo much to do. Man... I dunno. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. How much do you know about first aid? No more than the average joe, really. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Sadly, probably my dad's oldest daughter. I know only two things about her with certainty. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yes, and all it does is make me fidgety and lets me think too much. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Hm... maybe when I was at a beach when I was on vacation with a friend? I was like, a pre-teen then though, so it's been forever. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? Not that I'm aware of. And honestly, I have mixed feelings, but I think I lean more towards it being just fine so long as boundaries are set and there are very clear understandings with each other. And you ABSOLUTELY need to be safe about it. I'd far rather people get off with a consenting individual than in... y'know, other ways. It's not my business, anyway. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? In high school, I did a huge acrylic painting on burlap of meerkats grooming. I am to this day still so proud of it; I worked so hard on it. I love how the fur came out, especially. I do wish I could do over the background, though. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Excluding the obvious birds, there are tons of squirrels, and you see opossum and racoon roadkill a lot, tragically... Every now and then, you'll see deer in fields in the morning or dusk. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dog.s Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? I'm positive there's something. Probably everyone has an example. OH! Looking in just my room, Venus' terrarium has saran wrap covering the top to help keep humidity in. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Really, I go back and forth between hoping it's like... this state of nirvana and where you reunite with loved ones and experience infinite peace if deserved, or just the entire lack of existence anymore. I wonder sometimes if I'd want to be sentient forever. But, with me believing in a spirit realm, I don't think the latter is the case. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think I once saw a kid smack their parent's arm or something? I don't really know. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? "No, but i daydream about it." <<<< Ha, yeah, I have. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yeah. Mom surprised me when she told me she likes writing (even though I never see her do it), and Dad likes video games. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? NOPE. Who was the worst friend you ever had? It's funny, Colleen did incredible things for me, but she also fits this description, too... Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? I mean, I voted, does that count? What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I have no idea. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Dad got along perfectly fine with his parents, but my mom and her mother had a rocky history. Grammy treated her awfully sometimes. They'd been fine for many, many years, but Mom could never forget some things and always felt like she wasn't "good enough" in her eyes. I'm pretty sure Mom got along just fine with her dad. Do you have any framed photos of your pet(s)? Yes. Do you share photos of your pet(s) on social media? Um, duh. In 3 words, describe the last male you talked to. Who WAS the last guy I talked to... Do you own any of your favorite films on DVD? Which one(s)? No. Have you watched anything on Netflix lately? No. The last thing I did on Netflix was watch the first episode of The Witcher, and even though I liked it, I didn't continue. I just... don't enjoy watching TV, especially if it really requires you to pay attention. Have you ever heard someone snoring and thought it sounded cute? Besides animals, no. Are you particular about what you eat? In what way(s)? Yeah, I'm VERY picky, especially with textures. Is anyone close to you particular about what they eat? In what way(s)? Yes, my niece. She's autistic and has the symptom of being incredibly picky with things like textures, too. She is the one child I have ever known that doesn't really like eating. Is there someone in your life who can always make you smile? Always, no. Have you worn lipstick at any time recently? What color? No. I last wore black forever ago just to take pictures. Do you like wearing eyeshadow to match the color of your clothes? No; in the very rare instance I put on makeup, the eyeshadow is always black. What song reminds you of your childhood? Jesse McCartney songs, for sure. And Backstreet Boys. What’s your least favorite month? Maybe August. I'm sick and beyond tired of summer by that point. Nothing exciting going on. What do you do when you’re bored in class and not paying attention to the teacher? When I was in school, I honestly always paid attention because I wanted to pass. Have you ever baked a pie? No. Last person you shared food with? Mom. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Definitely not. Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? I don't think so, if that witchy photoshoot was the last time I had a pic taken of me. Do you answer the phones at your job? I did at two old jobs. Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I was kinda hyper. What are you drinking? Would you believe me if I answered "water"????? Did you get any compliments today? No. What last made you laugh? I think a moment in a WoW stream I was watching last night. Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to? Sara. What was your best summer ever? /shrug Do you have a favourite sibling? No. What color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Navy and black. Favorite milkshake flavour? Just chocolate. Sometimes I'm in the mood for vanilla, though. Best year of your life? 2017. It's funny how that year started with a suicide attempt but wound up being the best year of my life. NEVER hestitate to reach out for help when you need it. How loud do you like your music in the car? Too loud lmao. Prefer to write or read? Write. Favourite apps? Pokemon GO, haha. What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Absolutely refuse? Maybe like, cantaloupe. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? It'd to fuckin fantastic if I could lose 100 pounds. :^) I gained like thirty since moving... Would you rather gain height or lose height? Gain a tiny bit, I guess? But I'm fine with where I'm at. Are both your eyes the same color? Yes. Do you like glittery things? Yes, but not touching them and getting glitter everywhere. Ever watched a play in the theatre? Yes, at Disney World and also for school field trips. How many followers do you have on instagram? A depressing amount for someone desperately trying to be a photographer lmaooo. I mean I don't post on it a lot, so that doesn't help, but yeah. My secondary photography account (for roadkill/vulture culture stuff) has more than my main one. How about twitter? Don't use it. How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? I don't know, I'd be terrified of embarrassing myself. Last time you went ice skating? Never. Painting or drawing? Drawing, by far. Art or science? Now that's tough, but art. Dancing or singing? Dancing. History or geography? Geography is interesting. Favourite season? Autumn. Do you watch Supernatural? I did up to the end of Season 6. I loved it, I just was losing interest in TV, and also Jason and I broke up (we always watched it together) so I didn't want to watch something triggering memories. If you could change your eye color would you? Yes, to either a pure sapphire blue or emerald green. Are both your ears pierced? Yes. Are you lying down? Yes. Is there a tv in your room? No. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah. Do you like fortune cookies? Yeah, they're oddly tasty. Do you have anxiety? You fuckin bet I do. Favorite clothing shop? RebelsMarket. How do you feel about peeing in a cup at the hospital? Is it embarrassing? No? It's too normal to be embarrassing. I mean I wrap toilet paper around it so you don't actually see, y'know, but I'm not embarrassed carrying that. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? Fruit, by a long shot. What do you hate being called? "Bee." An old best friend who did nothing but lie about her entire life called me that. What color is the last car you were in? White. Ever studied abroad? No. Ever pulled out a tooth? Yeah, when I was a kid. Three celebrity crushes? Mark Fischbach, Link Neal, Hannah Hart. Ever been married? No. Are you proud of yourself? In most ways, no. Do you like grapes? Yep. How often do you cook for your family? Never. Is anyone in your family a lawyer? My cousin is, actually. Is anyone in your family an architect? Don't think so. Own any crystals? No. Favourite thing to write with? (pen, pencil, highlighter) Pencil. Top 5 favourite alcoholic drinks? I don't know, I haven't tried enough that I actually enjoy. Would you date someone bald? Yeah. Would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? I don't want kids either, so that's the only kind of person I'd date. That's something you can't really disagree on if you plan on lasting. Do you like candles? Sure. Favorite memory with a sibling? I dunno, probably something from when we were little kids playing together.

[zazu75]

Closer

Eko and Ray belong to @thethird-eye

The night sucked. The whole week sucked, that whole day sucked, but this night sucked the most.

Ray sat in the hotel bar and stared daggers at his nonalcoholic drink. He didn’t know why he let his coworkers drag him in here, especially since they all left for the casino soon after. He didn’t want to go there, he wanted to stay in his room and zone out on his phone. But he was here and got left behind and if he hadn’t paid for his overpriced drink, he would have left already. 

At least the place didn’t smell like alcohol. 

The doors of the hotel’s event room suddenly opened. Said room was across from the bar, so Ray had a front row seat to watch the people leaving. They were all dressed in fancy suits and evening gowns and Ray suspected that it was a wedding party. Then the bride and groom came out and confirmed it. 

The wedding party crowded into the bar, and suddenly Ray couldn’t care enough about his drink. He shoved it away and quickly made his escape. He headed to the hotel elevators to get back up to his room, but the bride was there with some of her bridal party. So he quickly swiveled around and headed to the doors. 

There were very little people outside, but it was still a walkway, so Ray walked down the sidewalk until he was away from the main traffic area. He then stopped and leaned against the building, sighing tiredly. He looked at his phone’s clock then and stared at the sky. Just had to wait for a few minutes then head back to his room. Then tomorrow would be the last day of this business trip and he can go back home… To his empty routine working nine to five…

“Rayhat?”

The name made him jump. The voice was familiar. The name was like home. No one called him that. No one called him that except--

“‘Ko?” The name was out of his name before he even turned to look for the other man. It was a reflex, a reaction. Home. 

He turned his head and saw Eko on the sidewalk coming from the hotel. He was carrying things, big and small cases with handles. He wore a backpack. He looked older. His hair was longer. It was a different color. His piercings were still the same. 

They stared at each other, frozen. Then a passerby bumped into Eko and almost knocked him off balance. Eko swore and tried to rebalance himself and his heavy cases. Ray acted instinctually and moved in to help. He grabbed Eko’s shoulders and steadied him, until he and his cases stopped swaying. Then...just stayed there. 

The two of them stared at each other. Ray had so much he wanted to say, but none of the words came to him. He couldn’t think of the words to tell Eko how much he missed him, how he thought about him a ton. He couldn't find the words to ask how Eko had been, how the world was treating him. All he could think of were how pretty Eko’s eyes were. He’d forgotten what they looked like up close. All he could think of were the times they had cuddled and watched movies...studied together...shared their food…

“Help me with my stuff?” Eko asked, breaking the awkward silence between them. 

“Y-yea, sure man.” Ray let go of Eko and awkwardly took the big case from Eko. His friend gave him a big grin and motioned for him to follow. Ray fell in step behind Eko and followed him to...a car. 

“Huh. I never imagined you with a car,” Ray spoke without thinking. 

“It’s a company car,” Eko laughed, “can’t carry these on my bike.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Ray watched Eko unlock the car and the trunk. He helped him load the cases then slammed the trunk shut. No sooner than he did that did Eko grab him and pull him into a tight hug.

“HOLY SHIT, DUDE!!” Eko exclaimed, way too excited, and pulled back with a huge grin on his face. “I never thought I’d ever see you around here!!!”

Ray felt a grin split his own face. All of the awkwardness melted away and he gripped Eko’s shoulders again. 

“I can’t believe it’s you!!!” 

The two of them hugged again, tighter this time, with big smiles on their faces. Eko let loose a few more happy swears before they pulled away. 

“Dude what are you even doing here?!” He asked. 

“Business trip,” Ray replied. 

“In that hotel?”

“Yep.”

“Damn, that’s fancy!” 

“I can show you my room if you want.”

“Nah, I’m starving. Let’s go get dinner!”

“The hotel has a good diner—“

“And be stuck with that wedding party? No way.” Eko opened the driver’s door and sat inside. “Now get in! You’re buying dinner~”

“Fine, but I call shotgun,” Ray laughed.

Once they were both seated and buckled in, Eko pulled out of the parking lot and drove off. He didn’t go far and stopped at a McDonald’s to order a drive through. Ray laughed at the whole thing while they ordered, because some things really never changed, and readily held their food in his lap when they drove off. 

“Where are we going?” He asked after Eko drove away from McDonald’s. His friend gave him an excited grin and didn’t say anything. It occurred to Ray then, that if this was anyone else, he’d be scared of his life right now. But this was Eko. Eko was never scary to him. Eko was home. 

Eko drove out of the city and up a dirt path. Ray could hear the rocks on the road hitting the bottom of the car. He was mildly concerned about it, but Eko didn’t seem to care. So he stayed quiet and watched the scenery—or as much of it as he could see, anyways. There were no streetlights around, and the light of the crescent moon was weak. 

“Okay! We’re here. Come on!” 

Eko parked the car in the middle of the road and turned it off. He jumped out of his seat, buzzing with excitement, and took the food from Ray. Ray stepped out of the car and shut the door, then looked around. 

“Whoa…” 

The area around them was dark, with only the car’s lights and the crescent moon lighting it up. But in front of them—in front of them was the whole city. They were up on a cliff and the city sprawled in front them. Ray gaped at the scenery then turned to Eko. 

“Dude, this is awesome!”

“I know! I’ve been wishing I could bring you up here since forever!”

“Why the secrecy, though? You know this isn’t my normal scene.”

“Psh, I knew you’d love it and didn’t wanna spoil the surprise.” Eko put the food on top of the car’s hood then pulled himself up. “Now come up here so we can eat!”

Ray managed to keep his blush down and climbed the hood of the car to sit by Eko. They talked while they ate, eagerly catching up (“The hell happened to your hair?” “I want to try out new colors”) and cracking jokes. Ray felt so good to be completely himself around someone. He felt so good to be around Eko again, even if just for a little while. 

Ray pulled out his cigarette pack when they finished eating. He took a cigarette out then wordlessly offered the pack to Eko.

“No thanks, I don’t smoke anymore.”

“What?!”

“My boss said he’d give me a bonus if I quit.”

“So you quit?!”

“It was a pretty big bonus.”

“What the hell. When is he even gonna pay you?”

“Every six months. I’m coming up on my third one.”

“Holy shit. Why, even?”

“He hates the smell of smoke.”

“Damn. Need me a boss like that.”

“I can put a recommendation for you. Not sure what positions he has for IT guys though.”

“Damn--wait, what do you do there?”

“I’m a DJ!” Eko grinned wide. “It’s a huge ass club and I get to take on freelance jobs!”

“And a company car?!”

“I get awesome benefits.”

“There has to be a downside.”

“The boss is uh...quirky,” Eko looked like he was choosing his words very carefully, “and the pay isn’t as good as my old IT job. But honestly, I love it. Way better than my old job.”

“Huh…” Ray looked back out to the city and stayed quiet while he finished his smoke. A part of him was in awe that Eko got to do what he loved so fast. Another part of him was extremely envious of that, however. But he stayed quiet and let his thoughts go. 

He didn’t look back to Eko until after his cigarette was done. His best friend was staring at the city ahead of them with a content smile on his face. The light reflected off his eyes and his odd colored hair, and Ray couldn’t help but scoot a little closer. 

“I missed this,” Eko said when they were shoulder to shoulder. His friend turned his soft smile to him and Ray forgot how to breathe.

“I missed you,” he replied shyly. His eyes kept flicking between Eko’s eyes and mouth while his mind was thrust to the past. He thought about watching movies with Eko, the two of them curled up together and eating junk food. He thought about the two of them going out together to eat, thought about them taking food to the dormitory rooftop to eat in peace. Thought about them leaning against each other while they smoked, while they talked, while they played on their phones…

...Eko’s eyes were always pretty up close…

Ray snapped back to reality when he felt Eko’s breath against his face. They were too close--their faces were too close--when did Eko lean in--when did he lean in--he needed to pull back immediately--

--Eko’s lips were salty. From the fries. That was the first thing Ray noticed. Then he noticed that Eko was kissing him. Eko was kissing him. He had wanted to pull away but Eko was kissing him now--

--He kissed back. His breath was stuck in his throat and his face was hot and he kissed back. This was something he had wanted to do since they were still students. This was something he dreamed about when he was younger, something he still wished for guiltily on bad nights. And it was happening. Eko was kissing him and he was kissing back.

They broke apart with a hot breath. Ray opened his eyes to find Eko’s eyes still closed. His friend’s cheeks weren’t as red as he knew his own were. He pulled away and licked his lips. They tasted salty…

Eko used a hand to cup his cheek then leaned in again. Ray didn’t hesitate to lean back in. They kissed again, a little longer with a little more confidence, before they broke apart again.

“I thought you weren’t into guys,” Ray said after a few moments. His lips tingled. 

“Yeah, that’s another thing that’s changed. I kinda...don’t care so much anymore.” Eko looked back out to the city, a serene smile on his face. 

“About?”

“About the gender of who I wanna kiss.” Eko looked back at Ray with a shy smile. “And I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”

Ray’s cheeks turned redder. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time too.”

Eko beamed at him and nudged his shoulder with his own. Ray blushed and looked away. They both sat in silence for a while before Ray spoke up again.

“I think you just managed to convince me to just move here.”

“What? No man, don’t move here because of me.” “...You know I’d follow you into hell, ‘Ko. Besides, I don’t really want this to be a one night stand.”

“Ohhhh~” Eko looked at Ray with a cheshire cat smile. Ray looked away and blushed. “You’re gonna need a job.”

“I’ll find one.”

“What time does your plane leave tomorrow?”

“Early evening, why?”

Eko sat up and pulled out his phone. He texted someone, who replied, and the two of them carried on a conversation for a few minutes.

“Boss says if you bring by your resume tomorrow morning, he’ll look it over and interview you,” Eko said when he put the phone away.

“Eko!!” Ray looked at his best friend, shocked. “Dude! I need to settle things on the other side before I can come here!”

“You might as well have a job waiting for you when you come back,” Eko smiled, “besides, working at the same place as me means you get to hear all my sweet tunes.”

“...Can’t argue with that.” Ray gave him a tentative smile and extended his hand so his fingers touched Eko’s. Eko responded by holding Ray’s hand properly and looked out to the city. Ray followed suit, heart beating happily in his chest, and enjoyed the silence.

“It’s beautiful out tonight,” Eko said after a while, eyes still on the city. 

Ray leaned his head against Eko’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “It is.”

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (27/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I’m the slightest bit overwhelmed by how kind a lot of you are and how many people have become invested in this story. It’s the coolest thing seeing the happiness it brings some of you, even if I am stressing you out right now. Whenever I get a message about how a story has made someone’s bad day better, I get a little smile on my face. You are all awesome ☺️

Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for being my beta! Don’t fret. She yelled at me a lot about this part of the story too, so it’s not just you guys and it does get better. 

AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog@cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ 

-/-

Emma has never once complained about having off from work before.

Not once.

She has four days off right now. It’s four days of no baseball and no responsibility, and she has been looking forward to it for months ever since she first saw the time off on the calendar and marked it in a huge red circle. There’s nothing quite like having the ability to sleep in, not brush your hair, and lounge around in pajamas all day as you watch professional athletes hit tennis balls back and forth at each other at one hundred miles per hour as they play the US Open.

But there’s a bit of a sting to it all when two tickets to the semi-finals tomorrow are saved in her phone, and she hasn’t spoken to the person who bought them for her in three days.

(They’re in the nosebleed section so no one would notice them, and Emma remembers laughing out loud when Killian showed her the seats because she has no idea how they would even see the ball.)

Okay, there’s more than a bit of a sting.

It fucking hurts.

There’s always been a reason why she didn’t make plans so far ahead of time, not ones that require monetary and emotional commitments from her, but she’s been breaking all of her rules over the past five and half months. All of them. She’s made plans to go to Portland, to go to a wedding, to go to this idiotic set of matches that she would actually really love to go to.

All of them with Killian.

Emma should have known better. She honestly should have. Every time she ever made plans with Neal or Walsh or any other man that she was dating, they always fell through. They never held up. Either the relationship would endend, or the guy would fade away at the last minute. It didn’t matter. Every time she got her hopes up, they fell back to the ground and were crushed under the weight of her own disappointment.

Neal was the definition of flaky. He was always making these big plans with big dreams and promising her so damn much before ripping the rug out from under her so quickly that she barely even had time to brace herself before she fell flat on her ass. And the really shitty thing is that she didn’t even realize how awful it was that he was doing that to her because that’s what people had been doing her entire life – foster parents, social workers, childhood friends, her birth parents. That little seed of hope would be planted, roots would start to grow, and then it’d all be torn out of the ground. She was in a relationship like that for years and then fell into the same exact trap two years later.

Why would Killian be any different?

(Of course he is different.)

A laugh escapes her lips at that, one she didn’t give permission to, and all it does is make Emma curl into her bed a little bit more, wrapping her arms around her pillow and yanking the blankets further up her body so that the outside world can’t get to her. It’s just Emma, her laptop, and a bag of salt and vinegar chips that are most likely going to break her tongue out.

As it should be.

This is not how her day was supposed to go.

Not at all.

Killian was supposed to come over after his morning training, and he was going to spend time with her and probably Ruby, debating television shows and movies and eating whatever takeout he decided to bring on his way here. But Killian isn’t here. She doesn’t even know where he is. Probably not training considering he’s out for the rest of the regular season.

It’s what he told her, but it’s also what she’s read in about fifteen different articles online.

And what she had to post on her Twitter account as part of her job. Life is funny that way. You think you can avoid your boyfriend and all information about him, but she can’t. It’s part of her freaking job.

She couldn’t have kept herself from reading the articles online if she’d tried.

(She didn’t.)

There’s a knock on her door, a sound that Emma has been ignoring for most of the past few days, but she didn’t turn the lock when she went to get her chips two hours ago, so Ruby easily opens the door and walks into her bedroom. She’s got her hair pulled back into a ponytail and is wearing leggings and a sports bra like she just went to the Pilates class that Emma skipped out on.

She shouldn’t have done that.

Fueling her emotions into that would probably have been a much healthier way to cope. No, it definitely would have been. Exercise is better than stuffing her mouth with junk food even if junk food feels so much better at first.

Shit. She’s pathetic. But honestly, she doesn’t even care.

“Hey,” Ruby says quietly as she shuts the door behind her. “How are you feeling?”

Emma doesn’t respond, just curls herself further into her pillow like the pathetic person she is as a tennis ball is thwacked across the court and bounces up into the bottom level of the stands. But Ruby, never one to be deterred by anything, walks across the room and settles down on the bed behind Emma, wrapping her arms around her stomach and pulling her closer while Ruby’s chin rests on her shoulder.

It’s the most considerate touch she’s felt in days, and it’s the only time that someone hasn’t shown her pity or tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay. After she left the hospital, leaving Killian behind with her mind reeling and falling down a hole with no escape, Emma immediately went to her apartment and changed into running clothes before running until her legs wouldn’t work anymore. It was fifteen miles, something she’s done before, something that’s not even her personal best, and she thought that she could keep going.

She had to keep going.

But the adrenaline died out on her, all of her anger and rage and, frankly, sadness dissipated into barely being able to breathe, and she’d swiped her metro card and walked through the gates to get on the train that would take her to David’s house because she needed him like she hadn’t needed him in years. David is always the reasonable one, is always the one who makes her see things that she can’t see, but he wasn’t there. It was only Leo and Mary Margaret, and as much as Emma loves Mary Margaret, she couldn’t understand why Emma was so hurt by Killian lying to her.

It’s not what the lie was, though that is a pretty big deal. It’s the fact that the lie happened.

Over and over again.

She gave him her heart in all of the shattered and glued back together pieces, and as careful as he is with it, he still managed to add a crack or two.

How could she have ever expected otherwise?

Why did she?

Why does she still want him to be the one to help her keep holding it together?

David had eventually come home and seen her talking to Mary Margaret, and somehow, he just knew that she needed him to hold her for a little while. He did, cupping the back of her head with his hand and not placating her by telling her that everything was okay or that she shouldn’t be angry or anything else that she wasn’t quite ready to hear yet.

There were a lot of things she wasn’t ready to hear that day.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me sometime today?” Ruby asks, and Emma breathes out on a sigh, her stomach swirling in a messy cloud of anxiousness over the fact that Ruby has finally decided that Emma has to talk. She’s been waiting for it. She’s also been expecting a much more abrasive conversation. “I know that your legs probably still feel like shit from that crazed run you went on, but I feel like a walk would be good. Fresh air, exercise, maybe I will even stop and buy two dozen donuts. You know, really splurge and keep them to ourselves and not let Graham have any.”

Emma chuckles, and this time she’s kind of glad for it. It’s not a big belly laugh, but it’s something.

Baby steps are better than nothing.

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a walk?

“Nope. It’s good to get our legs moving, work some of this laziness out of you. Plus, I fully plan on making us walk the full perimeter of Central Park, so we’ll have earned those donuts. If we haven’t died first because that’s a huge ass park.”

“You do realize that Bryant park is closer?”

“And that’s exactly why we’re not going there.” Ruby squeezes her again, pretty much hugging her, and it may actually make Emma’s heart swell. “C’mon, Ems. Indulge me for an afternoon, okay? It’s not like you to lay in bed like this. I don’t like it.”

It’s not. She’s already thought that. This isn’t her. She’s not the type of girl who lays around in bed because she’s upset that she and her boyfriend got into a fight, if that’s even what this can be called. There wasn’t exactly any fighting, even if her mind has managed to create the illusion that there was. Honestly, she barely let him get any words in besides his explanation of what happened. And she’s not the type of girl who cries and eats ice cream and wonders how life will ever go on.

There’s nothing wrong with doing that, but it’s not her.

And she hasn’t cried. That’s beside the point, though.

“It’s really comfortable in here, okay?”

“You’re moping.”

“Then let me mope.”

Ruby sighs and hugs her a little closer.

“Emma, I know that I might not seem like the most emotionally mature person at times, but I’ve been in a steady relationship for a long time. I know that things like this happen, and I know that after lying in bed for nearly three days now, you need to get your ass up. You’re not going to find any solutions at the bottom of that chip bag.”

“I hate Graham for helping you be so emotionally stable. You used to hate love.”

“It’s all the good fucking. I’m telling you. Knocked some sense right into me.”

Emma barks out a laugh and completely rolls over on her stomach, letting Ruby’s arms release her as she snorts into the pillow. “You are the worst,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by the material.

“I am the best.” There’s a slap against her ass that has Emma jumping and rolling over again so that she nearly knocks over her laptop. “Now, go brush your teeth, put on some deodorant, and change clothes so we can take over the city with our powerwalk like the rich old ladies we’ve always aspired to be.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

It’s an actual blazing inferno outside, the heat curling up from the concrete to practically burn through Emma’s sneakers, and it makes her really not want to be out on this walk. But she knows that the faster she walks, the faster she can go back home and retreat back to her room. All she really wants is to go back to her room.

And get under the shades of the trees in the park. September needs to end and allow October to roll in so that she won’t sweat every time she steps outside. This is ridiculous.

It’s probably all of the salt and vinegar leaving her pores. What a thought to have.

If only eating strawberries or kale or something was a good emotional comfort food.

It’s a little over a mile to the park, and as awful as the entrance is all full of tourists and street vendors and people trying to sell her a guide to the city like she doesn’t know it’s on a grid system, Emma is thankful just to have the slight breeze and be away from the masses of people. She won’t admit it, not out loud, but Ruby was right to get her to get up and get moving. When she’s lounging around, her mind wanders to things that it shouldn’t wander to, and at least now she’s able to put all of her focus on putting one foot in front of the other and watching all of the people around her.

Why pay for Broadway tickets when you can watch people in Central Park?

The air-conditioning. Yep. The air-conditioning.

They walk for an hour, just a casual stroll that Emma keeps thinking should be a run, but the heat of the day becomes too much for her, her heartbeat going wild, and as soon as she sees an unoccupied bench in the shade, she makes a run for it, leaving Ruby to catch up from behind. It’s a bit ridiculous, but this is a golden opportunity to allow herself to sit down and breathe without anyone bothering her since most people in the area are concentrated around the boathouse and not the little beaten path to the side of it.

“I hate summer,” Ruby groans when she reaches the bench. “It’s the worst. I don’t care that it’s when all of the good sports happen. It’s too damn hot.”

Emma bends down to rest her elbows on her knees and cradle her head in her palms. “It was your idea to come out here.”

“Yeah, well, you were depressing me.”

She doesn’t say anything back, taking a moment to breathe and stare down at the laces on her shoes. One of them is about to come untied, but she can’t bother to fix it. There’s no point if she plans on never moving from this spot. The sweat that’s trickling down her back is going to keep her glued here anyways.

How the hell did she run fifteen miles the other day? What kind of rage-fueled adrenaline was that?

“Killian lied to me about his shoulder.”

The words come out without her permission. She doesn’t even remember thinking them. Her mind was blank and then all of the sudden they were there, escaping from her tongue and her lips and becoming part of the air that’s surrounding she and Ruby.

Emma is still staring at the ground. Her hand has also unconsciously found the chain around her neck, the one with Killian’s mom ring that he gave her as a good luck charm. She hasn’t been able to take it off. She wanted to, wanted to take away that reminder of him, but she couldn’t do it.

Killian wanted her to have one of his most prized possessions, and as mad as she is at him right now, she can’t take it off.  It means too much to her to have been given something like this.

“He lied to me,” she continues, taking a deep breath, though she’s not sure if it’s from the exercise or the emotions running a race in her mind and wearing down her nerves. “And I get it. He was scared. He – ”

“He didn’t want you to think less of him for being broken.”

“How do you know that?”

“Mary Margaret told me. You know she can’t keep a secret.”

Emma chuckles, but it’s a weak one, before lifting her head back up so that all of her blood can return to its rightful place. She was starting to get worried it wouldn’t. All she can really focus on is how cool the metal of the ring is against her stomach.

“Unlike you have apparently become, I am not the best with my emotions,” Emma continues. All of the words she’s been holding up are bubbling up to the surface and ready to spill over and run rampant. “I’m pretty shitty with them, but Killian made me feel comfortable, you know? When we’re together, I do pretty okay sharing all of the broken parts of me. He knows a lot of stuff that not even you know, and I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we trusted each other enough to share the brokenness. And trust me, we have a lot of it. We’ve had…we’ve had pretty shitty lives at some points, and I am so mad at him for repeatedly not telling me that he was hurt and for not being smart enough to stop playing and get some help. It’s not that big of an injury, but it could have been. He loves that stupid game, and he’s going to lose it if he keeps doing things like this.”

Ruby reaches down and grabs Emma’s hand and wraps her fingers around her palm and squeezes so that Emma has to look up at the sky to stop the tears from finally falling. This is dumb. This is all so dumb, and every bit of it could have been avoided.

“I think though,” Emma continues, still blinking away the tears, “past the lying and this gut-wrenching fear that he’s going to lie to me about other things too, I’m mostly hurt that he didn’t feel comfortable talking to me. I love him so much, Rubes. He probably has no idea how much I love him because I barely know how to express it, and, but I don’t know how to fully trust him if this is going to be a pattern.”

Ruby’s sighs, and Emma swears that she feels it in her own bones. Her heartrate has calmed down, something next to normal, and she no longer feels like she’s going to throw up. She was kind of feeling like that for a little while, and the guy sitting in the grass fifteen feet away from them reading a book in peace probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

“You’ve got to talk to him.”

“I don’t – ”

“You don’t want to right now,” Ruby finishes for her, and Emma twists her head to the side to look over at the lake instead of at Ruby. “I know. I got that. You have every right to be pissed off at him. You have every right to kick and scream and feel anger so deep in your belly that it aches when you breathe. It doesn’t matter what he lied to you about. If it hurt you, it hurt you. Case closed.”

“I know but – ”

“Nope, nope, you’re going to let me finish. I am on a roll, and you’re going to crush my momentum.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Ruby squeezes her hand again before letting go. “Killian should not have lied to you. That’s just…I know we all tell little white lies, but this is obviously different. He shouldn’t have lied to you or to anyone. He should have trusted the people who he loves with the things he’s struggling with, but I don’t think this was about him not trusting you. He didn’t tell his family about any of it either.”

“They knew about the accident.”

“To be fair, Liam was there, and I think there’s no way Elsa couldn’t find out.”

“Semantics.”

“Very important ones,” Ruby points out. “I don’t – I’m not trying to tell you how to feel. I’m just saying that Killian didn’t do this out of malicious intent. He’s not Walsh, and he’s certainly not Neal. He is not spending his time trying to bring you down because he can’t handle being with a successful woman. I honestly think he’s scared of losing you and of losing the game, and that can make people do things that they wouldn’t usually do. You may not realize it, but I think you have become just as important to Killian as baseball is – if not more so. I know all about that ring you keep messing with and how big of a deal it is. Honey, he wouldn’t have given that to you if he didn’t love you. I’m not saying that fixes everything because it doesn’t. You have to talk to him and let yourself trust him if you think he’s worth trusting.”

Ruby echoes the words Killian said to her in Elsa’s office, the words that she repeated to Mary Margaret when she was trying to explain what was going on. They’re right. They’re all right, and she hates it. She doesn’t even know why. She should be thrilled that everyone seems to think that Killian didn’t set out to hurt her.

She thinks that too.

But Ruby is right in the fact that he did hurt her and right in the fact that she should be allowed to feel how she feels. How could she not with everything that’s happened to her in her life?

But she’s not thrilled.

And it’s dumb. Really, really dumb. Because she should want to get up from this bench and run to Killian’s apartment. It’s not far, maybe another mile walk, but she has absolutely emotionally exhausted herself to the point that talking about this more would be too much for her.

Talking everything out is still new to her, and when the stakes are this high, that pestering feeling that it’s all going to go wrong is continually building. Because what if Killian realizes that she’s more broken than he thinks too she is, and it’s all too much to deal with? Their relationship seems so simple on the surface and yet underneath it all…

Oh fuck.

Emma loves Killian so damn much, more than anything as he would say, but being together has never been simple. It’s always been a series of guesses and choices and an underlying hope that things would work out. She allowed herself to have that hope from the beginning, when she barely knew anything about him and when he’d fucked up with her already, and she should allow herself to have that same faith now that she genuinely knows so much of what makes up the ever-evolving person who is Killian Jones.

Tomorrow. She’ll talk to him tomorrow. Her stomach is still in too many knots for her to even think about seeing his face today and seeing the smile that always makes everything inside of her feel like it is floating on cloud nine.

Tomorrow. It has to be tomorrow because then she’s got to leave for Boston and Detroit, and she’s not waiting a week.

And she almost desperately needs to know how he’s doing. He’s got to be hurting, and she knows that she added to that.

“Can we go get those donuts now, Rubes?”

“Absolutely.”

The walk home seems swifter than the walk there, and it’s likely because Emma isn’t weighed down by the heaviness of a lot of things that are on her heart. Or maybe it’s because she does have donuts to look forward to. Today is going to be her last day of self-indulgence where she allows herself to mope and eat like all of the junk food in the world is going to disappear tomorrow. Because tomorrow she’s going to start eating actually balanced meals with things like vitamins and nutrients – most of the time – and she’ll hopefully stop feeling so sorry for herself.

That’s a bit of a gamble.

Ruby still makes a point of distracting her for the afternoon, obviously sensing that Emma is two seconds away from running away to her room and never emerging again, and while she contemplates that a few times throughout the day, especially when Graham comes home and kisses Ruby hello, she doesn’t.

In fact, she’s the last one awake and the only one to stay out in the living room. The only light that’s on comes from the TV, a tennis match still going on late in the night, and maybe it’s the lack of sleep she’s gotten or maybe it’s that feeling that happens when you’re alone at night and your mind starts playing tricks on you, but something gives her the courage to pull out her phone and text the person she’s been thinking about all day.

Emma: How’s your arm?

The bubble pops up immediately.

Killian: It hurts, mostly in the mornings, but not too bad. Lots of Ibuprofen and ice.

Emma: That’s good.

Emma: Not that it hurts. That it’s not too bad.

Killian: Yeah, I’m glad it’s not as bad as it has been.

Her heart may actually break a bit more at the thought of him being hurt all of this time. She’s been so mad at him, so frustrated with him for not sharing it with her, and she’s barely had any time to think about all of the pain that he’s been going through. Shitty move on her part.

It’s one thing to get injured and still be able to go about your daily life. It’s another when your livelihood depends on your body.

Killian: You should still use the tickets tomorrow. Take Ruby or David. I can get you an upgrade to sit closer since I’m not going with you now.

I don’t want to use them with anyone but you, she types, a little pathetically.

She doesn’t actually send that message. She can’t muster up the courage no matter how much truth is in the statement. Wine or whiskey or, hell, tequila are really tempting at this point to make herself feel a little less – upset, conflicted, hopeful even. But drowning sorrows in alcohol is no way to solve a problem, even if she’s done it before. It’ll only make her feel worse.

Emma: Can we talk tomorrow?

That text is riskier, means more, and is far scarier, and yet it’s the one she sends.

Killian: I’d like that.

Emma: Me too.

[laylacooke]

A New Hope || Lucas & Layla

timing: Sometime last week (5/17- 5/22) parties: @lucastheunlucky & @laylacooke summary: Luke invites Layla over for blanket tents, snacks, and Disney movies.  warnings: Prepare yo-self for this cuteness! ♥

Luke felt terrible about not really introducing himself to Layla before, even if he had literally just got out of the hospital and had a lot on his mind after his attack. But Luke was an extremely caring person and sent her a text inviting her over to his apartment which was equipped to the nines with security to keep them safe. Luke had a plan for tonight, equal parts to combat his boredom and, also, as a peace offering to a calm night for the other. On the couch, he had a short stack of clean lines, clothesline, pins, and various objects to aid in his vision of camping indoors. When he heard the buzz from downstairs he ran over and rang her in, opening his door he waited for her to come up. Offering a crooked smile at seeing her. “Are you picky with snacks? Cause guess what--” he let her into his apartment. “We literally have twenty different kinds.” He laughed. 

Layla had been hesitant about answering Luke’s text. The wolf pack meeting hadn’t exactly been what she had expected, and while she had stayed in her own corner most of the night, it seemed like no one had cared to reach out, and with Salva being there, had only made things worse. But she had played fault in such a bad experience, and in hopes of showing one of her fellow wolves that she wasn’t as bad as she seemed, she had decided to accept his offer. As soon as he opened the door, Layla let a small smile drift over her sad features, “Hey, and uh...if you’ve got any vegan options...if not, it’s totally cool.” She eased inside upon being invited in. Luke’s apartment was homely, and it felt like a safe space to be in. Something she could imagine having someday, if she could ever get her life in order, “Cute place.” Walking over towards a nearby wall, she stood quietly waiting for his lead.

“I mean junk food, so hopefully that’s okay,” he chuckled, showing the actual pile of snacks like Lucas had robbed a few vending machines. “I never get to eat bad, so it’s a treat.” Lucas poured them some drinks, offering lemonade, water, or iced tea. “So, first impressions weren’t the best, but listen-- I’m sorry. I couldn’t entirely focus on anything else. The nice thing about having a few of us around means we can all take care of each other now. Rotate, take when we need too, give when we can. It will balance out.” Lucas seemed sure of it, coming from a place where his family always felt like a pack before they left.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. I’m sure there’s something.” Layla looked at the pile of snacks. It was a lot, but it had been kind of him offering up all the treats for them to share. “I think, since being with Ari, Celeste, and Ulfric, it’s the first time, in a long time, that I’ve been able to eat good. What do you think you’ll eat first?” She looked back to the pile spotting some almonds and sunflower seeds. She had found her snacks. “I’ll go with water. Thanks.” She moved over towards the pile and pulled out a few packs of nuts and seeds. Listening to him talk about the pack, she could see how much of a family they were. She had hoped to eventually navigate her way in, but right now, she had felt like the outsider of the bunch. “And you don’t have to apologize. I know I wasn’t very friendly. I just still sorta feel like the outsider and being around a bunch of people makes me nervous, especially when I don’t know most of them, and one of them is a complete douche.” She paused, “Salva’s the douche...to clarify…”

Lucas chuckled, grabbing three different bags of chips, and plopping right on the floor in the living room. “Well, this is new for everyone. I’m not used to even existing for people to care about. I only just got my brother back. So, it’s alright to feel weird--” he paused, realizing he used the same description word Regan always used. “Not weird,” he corrected. “Just, different. Change is always going to be a ride.” He felt a little affection over her explain who the douche was at the get together. “Everyone has a variety of experiences to shape them. Sometimes the ones who are the meanest, and the loudest are the ones who are the loneliest in the group. We’re all a bit messed up, we gotta make do. Try to live. I hope that for you too.” Lucas sighed a little, trying to believe his own words, which would be a challenge, but he was determined. “So, think we can make a tent in here without further injuring ourselves?” 

If Layla was going to make the most of hanging out and getting to know Lucas, she knew she needed to lighten up. Her mind had been so clouded with darkness lately that it was hard to be happy and cheerful, even during Ariana’s adventures in pie making. But she was tired of being sad. Tired of feeling alone. And tired of just being. Without second guessing herself, the young wolf took a seat on the floor next to Lucas, “I get everybody’s going through their own drama. Throwing a moody baby wolf at everyone is probably the last thing on anyone’s mind, especially since there’s talk of...murdering a man?” She still wasn’t entirely sure what that was about, and did she really want to know? Looking to the stack of sheets and stuff needed to make a tent, Layla pondered the idea, before looking down to her red cast. “You know what?” She looked back to Lucas, “If someone can get a group of furry, full moon worshiping dogs together in one room, how hard could it be to put up a tent on our own?” It couldn’t be that hard, right?

“No murdering,” Lucas lied. “And you don’t have to worry about this particular hunter, ever. But, I’m here for you in the capacity I can be, alright.” He bumped her shoulder. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” A cheesy smile spread easily on Lucas, looking up at the banister leading to his loft bed. “Maybe, we can connect it there first with ties? That way we know for sure one corner will be pretty secure.” Luke said all this in between chips. “Climbing that ladder has been a feat, let me go up and you can try to feed them to me.” Rolling up, he made his way up to the loft, using only one arm to hull up and balance on it. This is probably why Miles wanted him at his cabin. “Okay, I can sorta reach you, heh. Can you get the sheet up?”

She didn’t know if he was lying or not, but she also didn’t want to get wrapped up in anything. Layla had already found herself in enough trouble. The shoulder bump brought a soft smile to her face and made her feel accepted, “Thanks. I know you don’t really know me, but the same goes for you too.” Looking up to the banister and back to Lucas, she nodded, “Yeah, we’ll make this work.” Getting up, she watched as he maneuvered up to the loft. Layla grabbed the blanket off the couch and carefully climbed up the latter, so she could pass it over to him, “What do you need next?” This was going to be a task at hand, especially considering how weak she had been, but she wanted this. She needed something fun and silly.

Lucas took the blanket and tied a knot on the bottom of the banister, letting the rest hang down. “Let’s maybe knot a few on the other end by you? That way we can drape it over some chairs or something? Luke pondered cutely, poking his cheek and pursing his lips, “yeah, maybe, the sheet instead of another blanket so it’s not too heavy. You got that?” He asked, securing a few more knots on the banister so when they pulled on it or it had more weight, it wouldn’t unravel. “Also, I haven’t done this since I was like, nine, have you ever built a blanket tent before? I have three siblings, including Miles, and we’d always do stuff like this. But I’m having a blank moment remembering them.” 

Layla did as he had requested making sure the knots, she tied, were good and secured. Ironically enough, one of the survivalist techniques her parents had drilled into her mind were various types of knots, and those skills were coming out as they worked on the blanket tent, “How does that look? I can tie it a different way, if you need me to.” She hadn’t really realized it, until he had said something about making blanket tents as a kid; something she had never actually experienced being an only child to werewolf hunters. But what she had learned how to do was set up tents, start fires, and basically survive in the wild if it didn’t involve hunting or killing things. Face fading into a blank stare at this realization, she replied to Lucas, “Yeah, I wouldn’t know. I can set up a real tent and teach you how to survive in the wild, until the cows come home, but typical childhood things, you might have to google, unless you like tea parties and The Little Mermaid…” She blinked a few times before looking over to him with a sad smile.  

“No, shit-- that looks awesome, knew I called the right person, hehe,” he gave a cheesy grin, finishing up his work and jumping down the ladder to land gracefully on the ground. He stood up, tugging on the blankets, and sheets, opening them up little and seeing how far they would spread open. “I get that, some families don’t always give you everything you might need. This stupid shit? Playing? It’s so important to do, keeps you happy, reminds you of simple things like laughter. I’ll make sure you get lots of playtime in now and do fun stuff. I always have ideas.” He pet the back of her head affectionately, a motion that Lucas did with everyone to show he cared about them. It was always with a little scratching of his nails, and a rub with his thumb before he walked away. “I personally always like The Emperor's New Groove. Heh, just thinking about ‘LLLAMA FACEEEE-- ahh haha, get’s me rolling every time.” Luke started pushing the couch closer to the sheets with his shoulder and grabbing some chairs so they can lift the other end up.  

She smiled when she noticed the cheesy grin, he had given her. At least her hunting techniques had paid off somehow, and, in the best way, because no one would get hurt, “I might have to take a picture of this when we’re finished. Show Ari my first blanket tent.” It was weird to think she could still play at eighteen, but the thought comforted her, especially knowing that Lucas was just as willing to keep her young at heart. Feeling him pet the back of her head had startled her slightly, but when she felt the affection, the teenager closed her eyes for the briefest of moments taking in the ease of the situation and cherishing the opportunity he had given her to just be a kid. When the moment had passed, she turned her attention back on Lucas, “Do you know how to walk the Llama, Llama?” Layla could feel herself letting her guard down; a feeling she had long since forgotten. Realizing what he was doing, the red-head moved to help him, “This is gonna be pretty awesome when we’re done with it. Thanks for inviting me, Luke.” She looked over at him with kindness in her eyes as she continued to help.

“Okay. It’s settled. We watch The Little Mermaid then The Emperor's New Groove tonight. And if it gets too late, another night,” Luke said easily, together the chairs secured the bottom half of the blanket canopy and stepping back it looked a bit of a mess in the loft space, but under it with the cushions off the couch and spare pillows and snack— it was pretty neat. He plopped on his back and stared up, his arm resting on his chest and enjoyed it for a moment. “You’re welcome,” he said with quiet delivery. “Squeeze in, let’s take one ugly selfie to mark our success—“he pulled out his phone and angled it badly. He was already laughing but tried to squish his chin and make a silly, bad face for the picture. 

“Deal.” This was one of the best moments Layla had had since coming to White Crest. Everything with Ariana and Celeste had been special, but this was different. She felt like it was just a normal moment of not trying to fit in or act the way a werewolf should. She was genuinely starting to feel good about herself and the moment she was having with Luke. Finding her place under the tent, she settled in. Laughing and shaking her head, she gave into his request, and made the funniest face she could think of. “Can you send that to me?” She grabbed a pack of sunflower seeds and laid back down onto one of the pillows staring up at the top of the tent, “How are you feeling?”

“Mhmm--” he texted her quickly and showed that it was now in fact her picture for when she called. Lucas actually giggled a little, finding it quite amusing with their silly faces. He rolled up and sat crossed legged. “I’m still pretty tired, but that’s understandable. I don’t know if people told you about that, but you need to be eating well to heal up well. Or, that’s what my mom used to say. Calories, sugars, good fats, all needed and what not to speed up the process.” Lucas knew that question could mean the other half of that same coin involving him, so he added. “I’m hanging on--” he chuckled a little. “I’m way tougher than I let people know about. It’s my secret power. Being able to get back up even if it’s hard and hurts.” He opened a new box of treats and pulled out some fruit roll ups. “Hmm, have you tested your strength much yet?” 

Layla couldn’t help but laugh when she had seen what Lucas had done with the picture. It was the first one she had taken since coming to White Crest, and it was one she would cherish. Even though she hadn’t really known him when Ari had clued her in on what had happened, she had still felt bad. She hated seeing people in pain or hurting. It’s why she had made the world’s worst hunter, “I’ve been told. I just haven’t really felt like eating lately. Ari’s been making me Beyond Burgers, and I like the veggie burritos from Veggie Tables, but my appetite just isn’t there. I’m glad to hear that you’re doing a little better though, and I’m sorry I haven’t been much help in terms of...whatever is supposed to happen. It must be a nice power to have, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.” She poured a few sunflower seeds out of the packet she had grabbed earlier and popped them in her mouth, “I punched a tree…” She held up her hand with the cast, “Does that count?” The tree seemed to have won though, but she had left a rut in it the size of her fist.

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’ dramatically, but Luke showed in his expression that he really did understand it. He’s been there. Being a teenager once with hormones and the change happening, he’d hit things until they were dented, and he was left bleeding. “Miles and I are pretty good on regimen things. You saw my brother, right? We got strength training on lock. If you want to learn your limits, you call on us. I’m working with Simon too, we’re going to be a strong ass pack, right? We gotta show off our muscles, hehe,” he chuckled while rolling the fruit roll up into a ball. “Also, you don’t always have to be the one giving help ya know? It’s okay. It will always balance out if your heart is there for it.” 

“I used to do some things back when life wasn’t all...Who am I kidding, it’s always been fucked up. Are you guys meeting up at a gym or something? Maybe once this thing is off my arm…” She held up the hand and arm that was dressed in a brace and shook it, “I can join you, and learn how to take out my rage in a healthier manner.” She ate a few more seeds, “I’ve got a little muscle.” Layla sat down the pack of sunflower seeds and flexed her tiny little muscle with a sheepish grin spreading across her face. It wasn’t much, but she was proud of it. Picking her snack back up, she resumed eating, speaking in between bites, “I know. I guess I just feel like if I suppress my problems enough and help other people, what I’m feeling will eventually just go away. Out of sight, out of mind sorta deal.” She knew it wasn’t healthy, but that’s where her head and her heart currently remained.

“I hear that all the time from others. It doesn’t go away. Sucks big time, I know,” Lucas didn’t want them to fall into bad thoughts together. It was easy for him to feel awful enough to contemplate the worst of things. “We’ll show you. It will forever be difficult for you though. Just know that and own it. You will get better; I can’t imagine you getting worse.” He laughed a little, to keep the mood light. “But all our training is outdoors. We climb rocks and run in the woods. Push boulders and jump from big heights. It's the best form of training. You will find something primal about it. Or I hope so.” He rolled on the side and pulled his laptop over and scrolled through Disney + in hopes the Little Mermaid was on there. “Come on, let’s chill.” He yanked a soft blanket over and a big pillow.

She appreciated his honesty. The last thing Layla had needed was for everything to be sugar coated, “Thanks for being honest. I really do appreciate it. And believe it or not, I can take a hit. Outdoor training sounds great actually, and I’m kinda looking forward to just the release of it all.” She finished off her sunflower seeds and chased them with a drink of water. Finding a cozy spot next to Lucas, she settled in. Whether it was The Little Mermaid, Emperor’s New Groove, or whatever, she was just glad to be doing something normal. Something that didn’t make her feel like it was fight or flight, and as she looked over at Lucas, Layla took in every part of this moment, so she could look back on it, when she felt sad the next time.

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather: Chapter 10: First Concert

July 31st, 1985 New York

Paparazzi had been following me everywhere I go. I now had security for my protection. I just finished shooting season two of the TV series I was on. And also finished the filming of the new movie I was in as well. The premiere will be out next year. My face was all over the billboards in New York and LA for the Sports Illustrated Magazine shoot. I was rising higher and higher and my fame was growing. I haven't spoken to Nikki since March and he has not even bothered to call and apologize for the way he treated me at that night club. There Theater of Pain album was released and they started touring. They were in New York today. How I know this.... well because I talk to Vince. And were meeting up for lunch today. Me and Vince have grown closer with each other. Were able to just have casual conversations and enjoy each others company. He's going to pick me up in his limo. I have so much to tell him.

"What are you wearing?" Lisa asks looking up at me from her magazine.

I met Lisa at the Modeling event back in March we became very good friends. Tamara allowed her to come on the New York trip with me on the condition that we stayed out of trouble. She of course agreed. Tamara had her own room right next to us. So she comes in and checks somtimes.

"It's a disguise. I'm meeting up with Vince for lunch and I don't want people seeing us." I put on a base ball cap and dark shades with a trench coat.

"You look ridiculous. And I'm sure people are still going to know it's you and Vince from Motley Crue." Lisa giggled.

"Well worth a try. Alright I'll see you later ok."

"Alright have fun with your boy friend."

"He is not my boyfriend." I sneered.

We met up and drove down to a pizza pizza. We decided to just order that and than go out to find a park to sit at and talk.

"Oh my God I haven't had junk food in a long long long time" I grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza and shoved it into my mouth.

"Ha well I eat junk all the time before I know it I will be overweight."

"No you won't you'll be fine. So what's going on with you?" I ask.

"Well I'm not really enjoying the tour. Nikki and Tommy have been dicks to me. They keep doing drugs and drinking in my face and chewing me out if I even have a drink. I'm so sick of it."

"That's really selfish of them. They should be supporting you. But at least your staying sober so thats a good thing. You have a clear mind."

"Yeah your right." Vince scoffed. "The whole album is shit. There are like two songs which are Smokin In The Boys Room and Home Sweet Home that are good. Everything else is bullshit. I don't even know how people don't see it."

"Im sorry to hear all that. How are the boys doing though?" I asked about the boys but who I mostly meant was Nikki.

"There doing ok. Mick is still crazy, Tommy is actually dating a nice girl Heather Locklear, and Nik-"

"Wait what?" I interrupted Vince.

"Yeah Tommy's dating Heather Locklear. I know its weird but honestly she really likes him."

This was shocking because Heather is a good girl like me and she's going to date a bad boy like Tommy.

"Wow this is shocking. I wouldn't have thought that she would want someone like Tommy." I stated.

"Guess you cant help who you like."

Yeah I guess you cant.

"So hows Nikki doing? You know he hasn't apologized for how he treated me at the Hollywood Palace in March."

"Well Niks uh Niks dating some girl named Nicole. She's some yuppie actress in the making." Vince says scratching his head.

I can't beleive this pig. After every thing that he has done to me he goes out and gets some other girl to be his girlfriend. He doesn't even call me to say he's sorry for what he did to me. And no im not jealous I'm just mad. Really mad.

"Oh, well good for... good for him." Is all that I could say.

"Iman remember he's not good for you. And to tell you the truth that girl Nicole is probably just Nikki's drug buddy."

"Yeah probably." I say with a low voice.

"But anyways what's new with you?"

"Well next month I'll be on the cover of Bazzars Fashion magazine. Well not just the cover the whole magazine. It will be about me. And then in September I'm walking my first runway. And it's all happening here in New York!" I screamed.

"Wow that's great Mani good for you. I would love to come."

"You just want to see the models Vince. You dont care about me at all."

"What?" Vince says with a pretend shocked voice. "I do too care about you. But I would also like to see the models." He laughs.

We finished eating and the limo dropped me back to my hotel. "Hey seeing as your still going to be here in August. We will be coming back to New York August 14 and we will be having a show at Madison Square Garden. You should come watch us. You have never seen us live. And this show is going to kick ass." He smiled.

"I'd love to Vince but Nikki- "

"Don't worry about Sixx he wont give you any trouble. I promise." Vince assured me.

"Ok, I will." I smiled.

I came up stairs and dropped my things and myself on the couch. I don't know why I agreed to go to that show. I should have said no. It will be awkward going if I had to see Nikki. But either way I will be in the audience and he will be on stage. There's no way he will see me. __________

Wednesday August 14, 1985 New York, Madison Square Garden

I put on a grey short dress with white tennis shoes and pink lip stick. I had my curled my hair to make it look fuller. I was into looking good especially because it made me feel good. Vince got two tickets for me because I told him I wanted to bring a friend. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Excited because I have never seen Motley Crue play at a concert before. And nervous because I would see Nikki. But to be honest I don't care much for him especially because he didn't apologize. We told Tamara that we were going to take a walk around town and she said it was alright.

"Do I look alright?" I looked over at Lisa who had two lines underneath her eyes like Nikki. She was a big Motley fan and a bigger Nikki fan. I never told her about the problems I had with Nikki. I wanted her to go to the show and just enjoy it without having any judgement.

"You look awesome. Alright we should get going the limo it will be here soon." I said.

We arrived at Madison Square Garden. It was complete anarchy out here. The paparazzi were going wild, the girls were half naked, and the fans were screaming out of there minds. It was total chaos. The chauffeur opened the door and security came to escort me and Lisa in.

"Is that Iman Darlington?" One reporter said. All of a sudden hundreds of reporters and paparazzi ran towards me snapping there cameras in my face as well as holding a microphone up to my face asking me several questions.

"Miss Darlington are you here for Nikki?" The reporter ask trying to shove pass security.

The security pushed the reporters back and got us in. "Oh my that was a lot." Lisa giggled.

"I know." I laughed.

We were escorted down the hall to the right side of the stage where we saw a big chubby guy with brown slick back hair standing there.

"Ah Miss Darlington right?" He held is hand out for me to shake.

"Hi yes." I shook his hand. "And you can call me Iman no need for the formalities." I smiled.

"Alright sounds good. I'm Doc Mcghee manager of Motley Crue."

"Its nice to meet you Doc. Oh this is my friend Lisa she's a model like me." I say pulling Lisa forward.

"Hi nice to meet you." She smiled.

"Alright let's get you girls to your area. I hope you ladies are coming to the after party tonight after the show?" He asked while walking us to our spots.

"Oh uh I dont know we'll see." I said.

We arrived at our spot and now it was just to wait for the show to begin. The crowd behind us were rowdy and jumping all over the place. I was very excited.

"Alright let's pose girl." Lisa brought out her camera and we posed by the stage.

Ladies and Gentlemen from Las Angeles's California, Please Welcome On Stage Motley Cruuuuuuuue!!!!

There was a loud bang and Vince came out jumping on stage with Mick and Nikki behind him. Tommy was hitting the drums with full force and the crowd was going wild. Vince started singing looks that kill.

Now listen up She's razor sharp If she don't get her way She'll slice you apart Now she's a cool, cool black She moves like a cat If you don't get her name Well you might not make it back

She's got the looks that kill, that kill She's got the looks that kill, that kill She's got the look

Me and Lisa were singing along to the song. We were having a blast. I looked at Tommy who was at the back drumming the hell out of the drums. He was honestly gifted because I tried using his drums and I really sucked. Then I turned my attention to Mick. He was spectacular with the rifts of his guitar. Hitting every note like his life depended on it. Then I looked to the front and Vince was singing and dancing around the whole stage. He was a very good hype man. He knew how to get the crowd going and keep them on there toes. And lastly Nikki, there he was jumping around the stage playing his bass. He had so much energy that I didn't even know where he got it from. But where ever it was from he was putting it to good use.

Vince came closer down to us and started singing into the mic. We smiled at him and he looked over at Lisa. I knew instantly he liked her. He sent her a wink and she started blushing. When I looked to the side I could see Nikki had come a bit closer his eyes went wide and his lips parted slightly when he saw me. His breathing even changed. I didn't know what to do when he saw me I froze a bit then looked away. Vince then moved away and went back to dancing on stage.

The show was finally over and I have to admit it was well worth coming. I was not disappointed at all.

"Oh my fucking God did you see that Vince winked at me ahhhhhhh!" She screamed. She started jumping up and down and hitting me at the same time.

"Hi ladies the boys are expecting you back stage now." The security said.

"But we didn't say we were-"

"Yes we did now let's go. Stop being a party pooper." Lisa pushed me to move through the doors leading to the hall of backstage.

We walked down the halls where we saw all the guitars and tech guys putting there stuff away. It was cool to see what happenes after the concerts behind closed doors. We arrived at a door and the security guard knocked on the door. "Yeah what?" It sounded like Tommy yelling. "Miss Darlington is here with her friend. "Oh shit really let her the fuck in!" Tommy yelled again. When we walked in my eyes went wide there were girls, booze, drugs and all the things that made a rock star a rock star. And the Motley boys were still in there stage clothes. They looked very funny.

"Iman fuck girl where have you been?" Tommy yelled running to me and picking me up.

"Woah T bone how are you?" I asked with my feet dangling in the air.

"I'm good dude shit it's been long. Look just cause you and Nikki have problems dosen't mean you should stay away." He stated.

I was alittle embarrassed when he said that, especially because I didn't tell Lisa about Nikki.

"No I've just been busy that's all T- bone. And I heard you have to with Heather Locklear?" I lifted and eyebrow.

"Fuck yeah man she's a good girl looking for a bad guy. I'll have to introduce you to her. But after the tour of course." Tommy said as he bit a beer can open and drank it from the side.

"Hey this is my friend Lisa." I said pulling her up beside me.

"Hey Lisa you love to party?" Tommy asked.

"Depends on what you got." She responded.

"Oh we got everything you need honey." Vince spoke up giving her a devilish grin. He then walked over and gave me a big hug I returned the hug. "Im glad you made it."

"I'm glad I did too the show was fun." I smiled. Then in walked Nikki with two girls on each side of him he looked at me but just walked right passed.

Rude!

"Hey kiddo long time." I turned to see Mick sitting on the chair behind Vince drinking the usual vodka.

"Hey Mick how are you doing?"

"Fucking fantastic." He said.

"So uh I'm gonna take your friend and show her around if you don't mind Mani?" Vince smiled while putting his arm around Lisa's neck.

"Uh sure just dont go too far were not staying long." I say walking over to sit beside Mick.

Tommy was still chatting it up with a bunch of groupies even though he was seeing Heather and Nikki was just making out with a bunch of girls.

"So you and Nikki got into a fight or somthing?" Mick asks looking at me. I cant beleive that Mick dosen't party like these guys. Maybe it's cause he older and more wiser.

"Somthing like that. He was aggressive towards me at the last club we went to. I think I'm just going to stay away from him for now on." I say crossing my legs and looking down.

"That's the smartest idea you can ever have. Nikki is crazy and not in a good way. He's a lost cause and needs some help."

"Well I don't know about the lost cause thing, but I agree with you on the crazy." I laughed.

I noticed that everyone, including the tech guys, the managers, and basically Motley's whole team were doing drugs. So I wasn't surprised that the boys have gotten into it. I thought it was really sad. They are a good band, but the drugs wont let them last long.

"Oh here comes your friend." Mick pointed over to Lisa and Vince walking back.

"Hey girly." She slurred. "Me and Vince had a great time." She smiled.

"I'm sure you did." I chuckled.

"Don't worry I didn't get her completely wasted this is the party before the after party. And that's gonna be big." Vince giggled.

"Uh yeah no were not going to that. This is enough." I said as a matter of fact getting off the chair.

"Oh come on Mani you'll have loads of fun trust me." Vince put his arm around my shoulder.

"Well the way Nikki is looking at me says other wise." I grabbed Vince's chin and directed him to look at Nikki. At this point, Nikki is standing up leaning on the counter with his head tilted back slightly with an unamused look on his face. His hands are in front of his stomach and he looks like he's about to knock someone out. I have to admit he looks good in his stage outfit. He's wearing a white and black outfit with a rose sticking out of the pocket. With his war paint under his eyes. Can he be any hotter.

I yelped when somone grabbed me and picked me up and threw me over they're shoulder. "Ahhh oh my God T- bone put me down!" I yelled.

"Only if you say your coming." He yelled and started swinging me around over his shoulder.

My dress started hiking up and my panties were showing. I started trying to pull them down from behind. Then every one started whistling and laughing it was embarrassing.

"T- bone put me down pl-"

"T- bone put her fucking down now!" Nikki yelled interrupting me.

The whole place went silent with Nikkis loud voice. It was like a grave yard.

"I'm sorry Sixx I was only joking around with her." Tommy said with a low voice putting me down. "Sorry Mani I was only joking."

"I know you were." I giggled. I looked over at Nikki who sat back down and started drinking his jack.

"But for reals you should come it will be fun. Plus I'm sure your friend over here." Tommy grabs Lisa. "Is dying for some fun as well." Lisa stands beside him and smiles. Then Vince comes and smiles beside them too. They looked like fools.

"Pleeeeeeeease." They all say at once.

"Fine. But the moment anything starts going wrong were leaving." I say with a serious voice.

Doc came in and told the boys they had to go back to they're hotels to change for the after party.

"Alright we can send a limo to pick you girls up at 10." T- bone said.

"Sounds great come on Mani we should go get changed too." Lisa smiled.

I looked at Nikki who was staring right back at me. I didn't know if I should walk up to him and say something. But I don't think he wants to talk to me anyways. When he came in he walked right passed me. I'll just leave it alone. "Let's go." I said to Lisa as we walked out.

This night is going to continue on to the next chapter. Hope you guys are enjoying the story.