#And also Buck has been shown as a supportive partner but what about when partner and parent roles come into conflict

[tgd-sideblog]

thinking about Chris coming back from Texas and Eddie desperately wants to keep him happy and not give him any reason to think things would be better with his grandparents and Christopher taking advantage of this with some teenage brattiness. Like Eddie wouldn't completely let go of the reins and let Christopher do anything overtly harmful, but he's being a lot laxer than he otherwise would have about treats/staying up/making last minute arrangements with friends etc. Eddie is fun parent overcompensating and even when he tries to scold, it doesn't take much more than Chris sulking and pointedly texting his grandparents (not about the issue just letting Eddie see he's doing it) and Eddie is caving in.

And Buck is seeing this behaviour and he gets it, he was also being super over enthusiastically "look how much fun stuff we can do now you're back in LA" when Christopher first returned, but he knows this isn't what Eddie's parenting style is and it isn't doing Christopher favours in the long run to let him get away with this much. Plus, Eddie remembers growing up with overly strict parenting and so assumes a kid's dream parent is one that lets them get away with anything but Buck has been the kid whose parent lets them get away with all sorts of bad behavior as long as it didn't lead to him requiring medical attention or cause a public embarrassment and knows from Maddie as a sister and Bobby as a leader that sometimes enforcing the rules is a needed form of care.

The thing is that while they've been semi co-parenting for years, Buck has been in a fun parent role or if he has been strict it has been about following Eddie's rules as the primary parent - Buck's authority is in supporting role, not the one making the decisions. But he's growing increasily uneasy dealing with Christopher's acting out because the Eddie before all this would not have tolerated this and Eddie was always a good parent if not to his own perfect standards. So Buck finds himself in the position of wanting to be the disciplinarian parent for Christopher's and Eddie's sakes.

Will Christopher even accept Buck as an authority figure who can set rules & discipline or just dimiss him because Buck isn't his real parent, just a family friend with an over-inflated idea of his importance to them? And though Buck has advised and offered suggestions to Eddie's parenting, he's never gone so far as to outright challenge it and he couldn't blame Eddie if his reaction was pissed off or offended.

Will Eddie back Buck up as his co-parent if Buck says "actually no, you know you shouldn't be doing this" in response to Christopher's announcing he's planned another last minute sleepover which means Buck and Eddie have to cancel their plans (Eddie is keen to demonstrate that Christopher is his priority but Christopher is old enough to have consideration for others, if not Eddie and Buck than the other kids/parents who could be inconvenienced by Chris promising a sleepover he doesn't know he can deliver on), or will Eddie overrule him and make clear that Buck's role in their family does not extend so far?

Plus Buck is not fully immune to the lurking threat of Texas - he's more sure than Eddie that Christopher is mainly using it because he's realised the power it has rather than actually wanting it, but what if Buck is wrong and ruins this tentative peace and reconcilliation?

Can Buck be sure enough of his place with the Diaz family and assessment of their current unhealthy dynamic to step up and play bad cop if putting himself in opposition to them is the way to steer them back to stabler ground? Is he prepared to risk it for them if he's not?

[madlori]

What do you like about the bucktommy relationship? We haven't seen enough of it to know it's good. So far Tommy isn't seeming good for Buck. He didn't dress up for Buck's party and is a downer on Buck's enthusiasm.

I'm tempted to think this a trolling ask because the two things you cite are so trivial they can't possibly be serious objections. But let's pretend it's not.

Let's recap, shall we?

Things Tommy has done for Buck:

Given him a tour of harbor when he asked, offered to give him flying lessons

Be excited and welcoming to see him at basketball

Gone to his loft to talk to him and smooth things over when he thought there'd been a misunderstanding, or that Buck was feeling badly about his and Eddie's friendship.

Bonked him on the metaphorical head and said "um you're queer my dude"

Laid out his own emotional stuff (being jealous of the 118's closeness, his struggles with being closeted)

Come to talk to him after their failed date and told him he was still interested

Agreed to come to his sister's wedding even though he low-key thought it was kinda bonkers

Shown up in the first place for that bachelor party when he was on call

Made sure Buck knew he was only leaving because he had to

Showed up to the hospital after a long day firefighting, without even showering first, because he promised he'd try to be there

Presumably, been a good enough boyfriend that Buck hasn't had to be talked off a ledge (yet) and made Bobby think he was good for him.

Now as to your two objections:

He didn't dress up for the party. Know who else didn't? Literally everyone else. Buck and Eddie were the only two who dressed on theme. Also he WAS ON CALL. By this logic, I'm a terrible friend because I also don't usually dress up for costume parties given by my friends because I don't like it (and this wasn't even a costume party, it was "themed" whatever that means).

A downer on Buck's enthusiasm? I assume you mean at the medal ceremony buffet? Where he was on edge due to the presence of a former captain who made his life hell and who he's probably low-key terrified will say something homophobic to him and his still-pretty-new boyfriend, which he in fact DID? He was pretty supportive of Buck's enthusiasm over the harbor helicopters, being his date to the wedding, and Muay Thai.

What do I like about this relationship? Everything. It's the most giddy and starry-eyed we have EVER seen Buck about a romantic partner. Tommy has shown up for him repeatedly, and prioritized him in a way that Buck is not used to. Buck has needed someone who will treat him as important. In only the short times we've seen of them, Tommy has done that.

[tenebrous-academic]

About the previous anon. I agree that we did get something but felt like we didn't get anything (?) to indicate their relationship status. I'm not wording this correctly. I mean we know they've been together for a while, *possibly* spending the night at eo's, but at the same time buck haven't talked about tommy apparently? (Idk if it's just bobby or the 118).

It feels like they're still in the testing things out/dating area and not boyfriends just yet, which is fine really.

But I'm hoping the hospital scene is gonna be a step for them getting closer, tommy being there for buck to relay on and get the support and comfort from him. It's gonna be a waste not to use this scene to advance their relationship.

I really hope next episode provides some solid information as to their canon status too! But buckle up because I’m about to overanalyze the fuck out of the scenes we did get:

Based off of this episode, I think it’s safe to say they’ve been seeing each other for at least a few months. During the award ceremony it was mentioned the cruise ship disaster happened “last March.” I didn’t see anything showing what month it current is, but based off the wording we can at least assume enough time has passed for it to be considered last year and not “this March.” That gives the relationship at least 3-5 months depending on how long it took Buck to work up to courage to call Tommy for the first tour of the harbour.

Buck and Tommy have also been together long enough for Tommy to feel comfortable enough to talk about how he was treated by Captain Gerrard and, likely, how he behaved around Chim and Hen back then. I wish we could have actually seen that, as well as the scenes between Tommy, Chim, and Hen hashing things out to make sure there’s no bad blood, but all we have are these new interactions showing all of them as friends now and the past firmly behind them.

But!!! What we did get this episode!

Buck softly signing when he sees Tommy getting his award and beaming like a proud partner.

Buck and Tommy being in sync as they walk around the station together.

Buck giving his bitchiest glare to Gerrard and putting his body between his man and that piece of filth (Chim is iconic for that new nickname).

We also get Buck shown as Tommy’s family/loved one during the ceremony. A clear pattern is established with Hen getting her medal and Karen and the kids clapping, Chimney getting his medal and Maddie clapping, and then Tommy getting his medal and the camera panning over to Buck as he breathes deeply and glows in pride for Tommy. (I also acknowledge that Eddie is shown after Buck gets his medal, but the show has established that Eddie and Chris are family to Buck so I don’t think there’s anything to shippy about it).

He hasn’t talked to Bobby about it, and we don’t know if he’s been talking to anyone else, but we do know that it’s not a secret. That hospital kiss was his announcement and maybe he’s happy with that being the extent of it. I think Buck is the kind of person to keep his happiness to his chest a little bit longer to make sure that it’s his and not everyone else’s. Which I know goes against his past relationships and how he’s always talked about them - but Tommy feels different, so the way Buck would treat their relationship would be different too. It’s something he was to protect and nurture and he doesn’t feel the need to ask his family about it because he already knows the answers.

So, yeah, definitely not as much as I would have liked, but the pieces of their relationship ship we did get were pretty indicative of something solid and meaningful being built between them. I’m crossing every finger the finale gives us more though. We’re being given scraps and I think we’re all going a little feral over the lack of anything truly substantial.

[lover-of-mine]

Trying to look at it unbiased, but I've been seeing some headcanons/spec that talk about B&T hanging out with Eddie/including him in plans to keep his mind off of Chris post S7 . . . and I just don't see it? Outside of 7x04, we haven't gotten any hint that friendship continued. It's not a full headcanon of mine, but if we believe that 7x04 was Buck's POV, I'm inclined to think the the friendship was greatly exaggerated in Buck's head. There's also the air of pettiness from Eddie at the bachelor party? IDK. Maybe if the show had referenced them hanging out (just Eddie & Tommy or all three of them) post 7x05 I might feel different, but I don't see E or T being friends (friendly yes, friends not really).

What are your thoughts on the Eddie-Tommy friendship?

Okay, I have been sitting on this for a while trying to make myself unbiased about the situation, turns out it is hard and I'm still mad about stuff. After 704, I was actually hoping Eddie would keep the friendship. I actually made multiple very angry posts at the way Buck in his jealousy put Eddie in a position where he would feel bad for having fun, especially considering the way the things Eddie does with Tommy are all related to traumatic events, flying the helicopter when he was in one that got shot down, wrestling for fun after the fight club era. But the thing is, the friendship vanished for whatever reason. Considering the way we don't really see them be friends with an unbiased pov, since 704 is on Buck's pov, I'm led to believe Buck's jealousy was making the friendship bigger than it actually was. It's either that or Eddie legit went "sorry my special guy is feeling left out I can't see you anymore" and stopped hanging out with him after Buck's outburst. Do I think they'll keep that friendship or try to develop it again? Depends. If they plan on developing Tommy beyond Buck, if they plan on making the relationship last longer, if they plan on making buddie canon. If they plan on developing Tommy beyond Buck, then I think one of the easiest ways is to explore this friendship. But I kinda think that if they were gonna explore the friendship, they would've already. We didn't even see Eddie with Tommy at the party after the medal ceremony. So I kinda don't think they'll want to develop that because Eddie is Eddie and he kinda looks like he's trying to blow up Buck's partners in his head no matter the gender (supportive king 👑). And making the 3 hang out together sends a message. Someone needs to 3rd wheel. Since Buck and Tommy are dating, you would expect it to be Eddie, but Buck and Eddie are little freaks. There's a reason they didn't let Tommy stay at the bachelor party, yk? Buck was all this is not a date and he wouldn't want to make Eddie feel left out and the next thing you know Buck and Eddie would be 5 shots in singing karaoke and Tommy was gonna be there 🧍🧍. Buck accidentally locks Taylor outside during the dinner in 511, so it's not like he never did it. From the way I see it, with the way they write Buck when it comes to Eddie, if you try to write the 3 hanging out to distract Eddie from Chris being gone, Buck would hyperfocous on distracting Eddie and Tommy ends up being the odd man out. Eddie wouldn't focus on Tommy because the last time he did when he hung out with the 2 he ended up in the hospital. So it would be a weird situation. And I don't see Tommy as the type of person who would watch Buck and Eddie being Buck and Eddie and continue to date Buck after. Because unlike Taylor, Tommy has the knowledge that Buck is not straight, so to be put second to Buck's best friend is not something he can rationalize in the same Buck's previous partners. And Tommy has been shown as being very unbending. Personally, I think that friendship was over the second Tommy showed up at Buck's door. Because both Eddie and Tommy picked Buck in the situation in a sense. Tommy tried to apologize, excuse Buck's behavior, that led to them dating and Eddie will always pick Buck anyway. So yeah, I think Eddie will be friendly with Tommy unless Tommy does something that hurts Buck, then he will be the Eddie who ready to let a man die for the crime of being engaged to Abby and go very not friendly, but I don't see them hanging out.

[sky-is-the-limit]

The bucktommy shippers really don’t understand anything related to this show to a baffling degree. A lot of them have literally just started watching the show since bi Buck became canon and they just have no clue what they’re talking about. I have been here since the beginning of season 3, and have been a dedicated Buddie shipper not because I just want to see men kiss but because they genuinely have the potential to be an amazing queer slowburn and their chemistry is top tier. Anyway I just want to say a few things.

Firstly, we don’t dislike the finale because of one 55 scene bffr. We dislike the finale because it took away a daughter from a lesbian couple and gave her to a straight couple (albeit probably temporarily), because the pacing was super weird and nothing seemed to have any emotional weight, and because they brought back a geriatric racist misogynist freak of a man for no reason.

Also the “Ryan doesn’t want Eddie to be gay” stuff is nonsense. Ryan is literally the person who came up with Buddie as a shipname, I’m dead serious him and Oliver were discussing what it would be and Ryan picked Buddie! He’s been supportive of the ship since the very beginning. He’s always said that he’s open to the possibility of Buddie happening. Him referring to Eddie as heterosexual means literally nothing because Oliver was also obviously not calling Buck bi before it became canon in the show. Ryan calls Eddie hetero because that’s canon, he can’t just say whatever he has to stick to what is shown in the show. Also they’re very conveniently forgetting the interviews with Ryan that were released after the finale in which he says that Eddie is no longer looking for a mother for Chris, that with Buck he can see what it’s like to have someone at his side to always have his back as opposed to how it was with his ex-wife, and he also used the word partner and referred to Eddie’s future love interest in a gender neutral way.

On top of that Oliver is a very transparent guy, he’s an actor but he can’t pretend to like people or storylines for the life of him. When Buck was together with Taylor, Oliver made it very clear how much he hated that ship on his social media. Now with BuckTommy he never shares or interacts with anything from that ship, the only time he did was some fanart of their first kiss and that makes a lot of sense because that’s when bi Buck became canon. But since then, not a word from him, the only things he posts and interacts with are Buddie related or just more generally related to the whole show. It’s very clear what his preference is, and even though he isn’t the writer he’s still number 3 on the call sheet and if he cannot be bothered to put his all into BuckTommy scenes because he hates that ship, eventually the writers won’t really have a choice.

Also anyone with common sense can tell after that finale that Buddie are endgame, it’s so incredibly clear which ship has the chemistry and emotional depth to last in the long-term, and it’s not the ones in that 55 second scene.

I hear you!!!

My main concern with this entire discourse, is that people are putting words into the acotrs' mouths and share it as factual.

I don't have much to add due to my extremely limited (to zero) knowledge but yesterday I watched another episode from s6 (I tune in whenever they show a random episode at 2am 😭) where Buck passed out on Eddie's couch as he was getting them beers and that was such a cute, intimate scene!! I can definitely see the chemistry between the characters.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Buddie's Journey Through Season 5 - It's All About the Parallels

Carla saying in 4x13 that Eddie needed to follow his heart and not Christopher's after asking about his relationship with Ana...that story line (the relationship) could have easily been axed by the end of 4x14.

But instead the writers chose to keep Eddie's relationship with Ana going into season 5, which they immediately began to dismantle in 5x01, finishing up by 5x03. They chose to loop it into the bigger goal for the season: Eddie's character development.

The funny thing is, the writers also chose to give Buck a love interest in season 4 as well. They had brought Taylor back (just like they brought Ana back for Eddie in this same season) and made it clear that Buck was interested in being more than friends and their past casual hookups, which only gets fully addressed by the end of 4x14.

And another funny thing is at the end of 4x14, it's Buck bringing Eddie home from the hospital. It's Buck taking care of Christopher and staying in their house. (something they chose to show a contrast with in season 5 with Ana during the blackout, though we are never shown Ana and Christopher by themselves) It's Buck we see Eddie having the heart to heart with after the shooting, twice. Ana and Taylor are on the other side of the door in Eddie's home. (remember how odd it felt for Taylor to be there?) Buck and Eddie are on the opposite side until Eddie walks in while Buck remains at the threshold, watching everything.

Then in season 5, Eddie and Ana's relationship fizzles out pretty quickly, and Eddie is on a journey of character development. This reaches its breaking/escalation point fairly quickly once Ana is gone. And who is called when this happens ? Buck. In a framing shot similar to when Ana called Buck about Eddie in 4x14, with stuff going on with Taylor and her relationship with Buck going on in the background at the same time.

"Ana. Everything okay?"

"Chris?"

In the first shot, things are not okay with Eddie. Yes, he survived but he hasn't woken up yet from the surgery. Buck is understandably wary when Ana calls. Before this moment, Taylor had just kissed him and then ran.

In the second shot, Buck picks up the phone, happy that Chris is calling. He has no idea what's going on and thinks Eddie and Chris are both okay, not expecting anything bad & no reason to be wary. Before this shot (a Madney sequence occurred before we see Eddie's breakdown & Chris reacting to it), Buck and Taylor talk about their relationship and about the kiss he shared with someone else.

And then lo and behold, a few episodes later, Buck and Taylor's relationship dissolves as well. In the same season as Eddie's did, after they both had returning love interests return in the same season (4), that both relationships didn't have the best starts. Two love interests they had history with that were not exactly stellar.

And in the same season they had Eddie's character development happening (more than the average per season) that turned into a major story line surrounding the season, as they did for Buck. Though Eddie's was a bit more overt and louder (if that makes sense), Buck's was present also.

These two were in the first romantic relationship they had since their previous partners: Shannon for Eddie and Ali for Buck (really more Abby because Ali didn't fully live together with Buck as she did or Taylor).

Both react to it slightly differently, but ultimately they never fully settle into it - thus, the beginning of the dismantling.

And the entire time they are going through all of this major character development , they lean on each other emotionally instead of giving their partners that chance to be there for them. And they continue this emotional support of one another until the end of the season. It doesn't mean we don't see them receiving support from others (such as Maddie for Buck) or giving support to others (such as Eddie for Bobby), but the one constant that is repeated throughout the season is Buck and Eddie.

Again

Again

Again

Again

and again

And they even had it in 5x01 and 5x02. Not to mention 5x06, 5x08, 5x10, and 5x11.

These conversations revolve around:

5x01 - Eddie's panic attack & Buck knowing something is wrong but Eddie not wanting to tell him

5x02 - Buck is concerned about Eddie's health & they talk about Eddie's relationship with Ana

5x04 - Buck has been punched by Chimney & he's upset

5x06 - a bonding traumatic event happens (them getting taken hostage) & Buck is clearly worried about both Eddie and Christopher during this event, which makes sense for the Buckley Diaz family setup, but they purposely gave us Buck's reaction to the gunshot (which links to the aftermath of what Eddie is struggling with this season to an extent which means this moment is about Eddie not Christopher or the will)

5x08 - Buck tells Eddie that they need to keep moving forward & trying to save people (in this episode, they work to rescue the kids -> doing a rescue together)

5x10 - Buck and Eddie talk about Christopher & why the nightmares are starting to happen again - this convo not only is related to Shannon & she is mentioned but this also leads to Eddie's decision later on to leave the 118 (which he then ends up finding out was not what Christopher wanted or the best decision for him) -> this is about Eddie

5x11 - Buck & Eddie talk in the kitchen about Eddie's new job & how he's faring (which Buck thinks he isn't too well & it turns out he's right)

5x13 - Eddie breaks down, Christopher calls Buck -> Buck finds Eddie in his room, gets Christopher settled & then talks to Eddie

5x14 - Buck talks to Eddie & Eddie wonders if everything they do as a first responder is worth it; Buck brings Christopher & Eddie to equine therapy where Buck shows Eddie that Charlie is there & he can see he's doing well, emphasizing that yes it's worth it

5x17 - Eddie talks to Buck as he packs for Christopher for their trip back to Texas, he talks about his father & the upcoming party

5x18 - Buck talks to Eddie about Bobby which then turns into the conversation about Taylor & her betrayal

Then notice how the physical seems to surround these emotional scenes:

5x01 - Eddie's panic attack/heart

5x02 - Eddie looks tired & his beginning panic attack

5x04 - Buck is icing his eye with ice from Chimney's punch; "Ice goes on the eye, bud"

5x06 - both B&E are taken hostage; Buck has been hit in the head by a gun; Eddie, Christopher, and Buck are all threatened to be shot; Eddie is pumping Mitchell's heart to keep him alive

5x08 - Eddie starts to have a panic attack but is able to ward it off after talking with Buck

5x10 - they're talking about Christopher's nightmare

5x11 - Eddie looks tired & unhappy and Buck notices

5x13 - Eddie takes a bat to his bedroom walls along with everything else

5x14 - Eddie is in therapy and feels exhausted/drained; during this convo, Eddie picks up two drawings of a heart, one which Buck admits he drew "I misunderstood the assignment" (how ironic since Buck is currently dealing with relationship troubles & that maybe he doesn't understand his own heart yet or the way it's supposed to be, hmm...); Eddie sees Charlie again, the boy he saved when he got shot

5x17 - in this episode, Ramon has what appears to be a heart attack but actually has something to do with his arteries (a la Eddie panic attack style)

5x18 - Eddie & Buck are patching up the wall together that he busted up with his bat back in 5x13

Then you have the three rescues they perform together after the blackout arc:

Kids (5x08)

Guy who is double-timing two wives where the line is said "Maybe I can fake amnesia, give myself some time to figure it out" in the same episode Buck is wondering what to get Taylor for Christmas & Eddie is struggling with what is happening with Christopher (5x10) [though this does not produce an emotional scene for either B or E, they still have their emotional connection moment later on in the episode]

Guy who is interested in Josh romantically (which is interesting timing since this episode is about Eddie finding himself again & on this end of the season, he is starting to separate himself from Christopher symbolically; also this episode featured the father/daughter dynamic of May & Bobby heavily, the brothers Chimney & Albert - guess which family dynamic that left? so it would make sense for it to be something related to Christopher/child for them rather than Josh's intended beau) [5x16]

Then you have the parallels of other pairings and characters/events happening around them:

Madney - this is a canon romantic pairing that is romantic in the first half of the season (5A) & is platonic/familial only in the second half of the season (5B) - in 5B after the breakup, we see both Maddie & Chimney attempting to co-parent their daughter while getting over each other and trying to move on after having a previous romantic relationship (sound familiar? see above)

Henren - a canon romantic pairing that has Eddie paralleling Karen and Buck paralleling Hen (5x15)

Bathena - a canon romantic pairing that Buddie gets paralled to in 5x09 with the "firefighter roleplay"

And that doesn't even begin to get into the parallels to other side romantic pairings like Clive/Toni and other relationships during emergencies.

Season 5 was all about moving Eddie into position, emotionally.

So now we have to wait to see if Buck will also be moved into position as well and go through his own emotional development. Because once that happens: checkmate.

[theweewooshowtookovermylife]

My thoughts on “what’s your fantasy”

What up I’m not dead just busy with outside obligations anyways I wanted to talk about this episode because I’ve been seeing some things and I wanted to put my two cents in

first off I love buddie and like everyone I want to see them interact more but the thing is s5 showed us Eddie reaching out to people and the same with buck, mainly Eddie just because that season ended doesn’t mean that arc for Eddie ended. I think this episode and the few before really emphasized the fact that there’s more branches of relationships to rely on not just your best friend or hopefully in this case love interest cause at the end of the day support comes from everywhere. Also I feel like it seems like people sort of don’t know or care how much 911 puts into the found family emphasis which means the whole encompassing family dynamic among the firefam. Hen and buck interacting or Eddie and Carla interacting a lot doesnt mean it’s a end to buddie’s friendship. it just means they have other friends and family . Hen and Buck have a sibling relationship (Buck has a another sister to lean on other than Maddie it doesn’t deminish Maddie as Buck’s sister and that found relationship has been there since s1) that’s important to their dynamic, buck goes to her when he has a problem (the donor line) cause it’s shown multiple times that she’s in his corner that didn’t happen out of no where . Eddie and Carla also feels like a siblings relationship despite Carla being and working as Chris’s caretaker Carla has taken the role of being Eddie’s rock just like a sister would, also sharing milestones is common outside your partner when your close to your family.

The possible reasons for the two scenes of Hen, Buck and Denny are at the ren faire and Carla and Eddie dropping Chris off at the dance. It’s shown Hen and Buck share similar interests or at least love trying out/learning new things (Hen with her animal fun facts and Buck with his random fun facts as well as their shared awe in the faire) so Hen probably invited Buck to the faire because she probably knows he would love it and be the best possible person (and probably the only other adult who would be into ren faire that was available to hang out with) to vibe with there as shown during their “sword fight”, literally just two siblings goofing off.

Carla has literally seen Chris grow up from that 7 year old back in s2 so she’s probably one of the few people who knows and understands Chris best and where his limits lie as well as being the voice of reason and reassurance for Eddie, she’s there to celebrate Chris growing up as well as telling Eddie it’s okay to let go and be there for him if he needs to talk his feelings out about how difficult it is to let the little boy go so he could grow up (Carla would know what that’s like cause she’s a parent too not just a caregiver).

Overall being apart from your partner/friend/ SO for sometime isn’t a bad thing, not being in a established relationship and not hanging out 24/7 or frequently doesn't mean it’s falling apart, it just means you have other friendships you don’t want to neglect.

tl:dr: even though i love buddie I feel like people are forgetting that the show has always emphasized on found family not just the individual parts that make that family up and that friendships are still undervalued for the sake of popular ship(s)

Feel free to comment your own thoughts I just wanted to throw in my own two cents

[bisexualafbuck]

my issue with this whole "if one of them was female" argument is that it practically says that we cannot watch any meaningful deep relationships between men and women at all because they *must* lead to romance and sex in a narrative (else it is automatically judged as "bad writing" or what... "heterobaiting"?) 🤡 i have to deal with that as a bisexual irl already and it's just... sad. that we cannot acknowledge that some people love each other deeply and platonically, and that this is not inferior to a romantic relationship. we see not a single hint that eddie or buck are bisexual, even at points where they could have explicitly shown it (e. g., zero jealousy toward love interests, no hesitation to date somebody else cuz they do not "waiting for the other", eddie actively looking for a date and not a single time was he looking at any man like he's seriously into that option), so it's a fandom issue only at this point imo. especially because we have canon queer relationships in 911, and we have a very well-loved big canon gay ship in 911 LS, so why would they be afraid to canonize buddie? i swear more people should watch Elementary for sherlock and joan. a beautiful, deep, special relationship. they would die and kill for each other, they openly say they love each other, they live together, sherlock will inevitably be there an important figure for joan's son... and they are both very hetero, and it's still 100% platonic. i have not seen a friendship like buddie on screen yet either! we see a lot of bromance but it's usually just a regular friendship, often with two hetero men that do not really open up to each other *because they are hetero* so they must have a romantic partner for the emotional parts. because of toxic male standards for how close men are allowed to be to each other emotionally. and now we finally have smth that is so beautiful, and i see nobody simply appreciating it for what it is right now... maybe they will someday give these two a sexual crisis, maybe someday buddie will be canon! or maybe not. maybe they will always be best friends who really allow themselves to have each other's backs. but this perpetual disappointment and unhappiness of the fandom is so sad to me. buddie is and has been and will remain an amazing dynamic!

So I'm an ace/aro bisexual, so like your point of friendships not needing to turn romantic, I totally get, but I do actually think that a lot of the thing shown in the show are really easy to see as romantic, and I don't think it is actually that much of a jump to see that it's not just friendship. And I'm saying this as someone who hates couples being forced, or people perpetuating the idea that you have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Also I think the argument that you haven't seen friendships shown like this (i.e. are only ever either very cold, or turned romantic) is a very common argument against gay couples used all the time, so it kinda rubs me the wrong way, when there are so many examples of amazing male friendships done so well, and male friendships being emotional is becoming more common too. You can advocate for more male friendships like that without putting down ships of two men together, or people being upset about the missing opportunies for them to be canon, in my opinion. Also I don't only think people ship them because they connect emotionally, I think they just genuinely have romantic chemistry that makes it easy to ship.

It is totally okay if you don't see Buddie as romantic, and I think so many people do really appreciate their friendship as it is, so I'm not sure if maybe you interpet it all in a people shipping buddie romantically lense/only see that on your feed etc, but I defininitely see so much support for just the friendship.

I think the problem is that they force the straight relationships so much when they don't make sense for the character development. It makes it harder to accept the lack of Buddie when they aren't providing an alternative with any depth to it, so all people really can see is the potential of Buddie. Like putting them with the love interests from the end of season 6, when they actively go against the previous character development, no wonder people are upset at that. And it's easy to be upset at that and link it to being upset about Buddie.

Also, I genuinely do believe with the fan support and where the storyline has gone that they would have been made a couple if they were hetero. I think the reason why them being both male has prevented it, is because that wasn't the intention from the start, and while it is a progressive show, I think it's harder to turn two "hot straight men" into a gay/bisexual etc etc couple in the middle of the show, rather than what lonestar did with having them together from the start.

I do agree however, that there is a portion of the fandom that can't be happy with anything in their friendship until its canon, which is very sad, because even if they don't go canon, it's an amazing relationship that should be loved as is too.

At the end of the day, if you love them platonic then I'm really happy for you, but I think its not unjustified to point out the difference in how their relationship is treated compared to hetero ones.

I wrote this really quickly while doing an assignment so if any of my points dont make sense, blame my university brain lol

[matan4il]

Buddie 601 meta

The ep kicks off with the blimp call, and what I liked about it is that while Buck and Eddie weren’t initially paired up with each other, it quickly became clear that this was done so that at the peak of this emergency, after someone had to already go down with one of the pilots, the person who’ll be left up there with Eddie would be Buck. Battlefield boyfriends ride again!  ~~

I love how Eddie right away realized that Buck is feeling off about Lucy having been offered the role of interim captain, and how he and Chim try to ease the tension by joking around. It’s a part of Eddie’s love language when it comes to Buck, because we saw him using this strategy in other situations in the past as well, like in 405. Eddie’s also so in tune with Buck, he’s clearly the first to get what Buck is trying to do during the golf course call. They’re not married, but they’re married.

So it’s a beautiful and rightful extension of that when Buck turns naturally to Eddie with his displeasure over Bobby’s choice of interim captain, and Eddie of course right away guesses the part that Buck was having trouble vocalizing. Get yourself a partner like that. This is true love and intimacy at its finest. ~~

Holy shit, the absolute mad levels of domesticity in the Buddifer scene! I mean, I’ve said before that 911 somehow keeps making these guys impossibly closer, and this scene is no exception. We’ve seen them having dinners together before. But we’ve not yet seen Eddie and Chris being there while Buck cooks. And I have to say, I love it. Because it’s one thing to invite someone over for a meal you’ve cooked, it’s another to invite them or allow them to be there while you prepare it, that’s inviting them into your mess. Just like in 513, when Buck stepped into Eddie’s mess with him and 518 when Eddie had Buck over to help him clean his mess. And yeah, this time it’s not the emotional mess of a breakdown, it’s the beautiful, daily mess of living, but that in a sense makes it even better? After all, this isn’t Buck letting someone else in on his mess 'coz things are dire and he has to. It’s him choosing to share the behind the scenes of his life with Eddie and Chris, mess and all. This is the most domestic Buddifer scene, when we already had so many amazing domestic scenes with them, and I am this close to proposing to it, because I love it that much! ~~

If that’s not enough, this ep used meals as a theme for different relationships. We have Hen and Athena who are good friends, but nothing more. No underlying romantic tensions. So they were going to enjoy a meal together outside. When Hen didn’t show up, Athena grabbed some food prepared by others and brought it over. Because they ARE good friends and care about each other, and want to catch up, offering each other support. But they’re not life partners or a family unit. They’re not a part of the “behind the scenes” of each other’s life. At the same time, Madney are having a meal at home. So out of the two non-Buddie pairs, the platonic friends and the romantic couple, Buddie are shown to be more similar to the romantic couple (the one that needs to wake up, own their feelings and get together already. The one that will by the end of this ep). Who would have thunk it? ~~

Which brings me to the transitions used in this ep. We have the Buddifer scene transitioning into the Madney one, meaning 911 is choosing to show us these two family units one after the other (in fact, the Madney one is specifically about declaring that they’re still a family even when it might appear like they’re not). Then we have the montage at the end of the ep giving us closure for the characters who have been going through changes. TBH, nothing much happened with Eddie and Chris in this ep that would require them to be a part of this montage. And yet, they are there, and specifically, their short scene is a nod at the Buddifer one (it didn’t have to be. For example, since Eddie talked about Shannon in this ep, we could have had him looking at her old pics, yet that’s not the choice 911 made here), and that transitions to Buck in his apartment, making his choice of not getting a new couch (i.e girlfriend). There are CHOICES, my friends. ~~

Speaking of Madney and Buddie parallels in this ep, can we talk for a second about how Chim told Maddie she didn’t have to keep apologizing, and she agreed they were beyond apologies at this point? Anyone else had flashbacks right away to Buck and Eddie in the infamous kitchen scene in 309? These are both pairs of life partners, where each person is the most significant one in the other’s life emotionally, to the point where they’ll have this kind of exchange, because of how important they are to each other. Are we really supposed to believe only one is destined to be partnered up romantically? Not in this house, good sir. ~~

One more point regarding the Madney / Buddie parallels, this time from the Buckley siblings perspective. Maddie and Buck had a talk in s5 where they admitted that she’s always running and he’s always clinging. In this ep, Maddie got to say she’s done running. And we know that with 518’s break up, Buck was done clinging to Taylor specifically, but in this ep, he was also done clinging to the idea that he HAD to have a girlfriend to be somehow worthy. And, of course, he understood back then that the clinging was tied to settling. So now we know, with his hesitancy about getting a new couch, he’s done settling, too. Maddie got to declare her breakthrough to her romantic partner who she knows is the right person for her, enabling this progress. I can’t wait until Buck can do the same, when he gets to look his own partner in the eyes and, knowing this is the right person, say he’s done settling… ~~

Speaking of that couch, I love Chris roasting one of his dads yet again (like in 312 and 511 when he’s sassy with Eddie or 414 with Buck), but the second he brought the couch into it, well... Buck was actually right, it did come out of left field, so it was evident that the couch would be metaphorical even before Buddie’s discussion of how it’s tied to Buck’s ex girlfriends. When at the end of the ep, he chooses not to buy a new one, and instead he’s moving the armchair around, that’s the moment when he chooses not to cling or settle anymore. The couch is for two people. The armchair is for one. He’s choosing himself. He’s choosing to be happy in his own skin, even if he’s single. I love that for him. But I couldn’t help noticing that we didn’t simply get him choosing the armchair by sitting down in it, looking comfy and happy, nodding in satisfaction. Nope, he also had to move it around a bit. Something he already had could make him really happy, but it had to be moved to its rightful place first. I couldn’t help thinking that this might be a metaphor for how happy Eddie can make Buck, once he takes his rightful place in Buck’s life, both of them finally recognizing they’re truly each other’s life partners, and when considering the feelings behind that, why. ~~

Lastly, it’s just a small note, but I wanna mention, once more, what a good dad Eddie is. He doesn’t purposely lose his game against Chris. It can be so tempting for adults to do that, just like it was a very natural instinct for Eddie to first rush in and wanna help Chris with getting dressed in 204. But Eddie gets that in order to feel truly empowered by his accomplishments, Chris has to try and tackle challenges on his own, without being pampered. No wonder Buck is head over heels in love with this man. ~~

Thank you so much for reading and for any and all support! Thank you also for the great gifs to the beautiful @whosoldherout​, who’s a true gem. You can find more of my Buddie fics and meta, if you’re interested. Thank you again! xoxox

[dragons-are-a-girls-bestfriend]

Here’s the thing about Buddie (why no other ship with these two can ever float)...they are constantly, and from pretty much the very beginning, fulfilling the one thing the other is desperately looking for. Hear me out:

Eddie’s story so far is about finding a partner. Shannon was ready and right there, but he wasn’t and by the time he is, and she’s back in his life she’s recognized that’s not what she wants. His own parents might have been able to shift his course if they’d been supportive but they were the opposite of that. Trying to convince him that he’s doing everything wrong and they’re the ones who deserve to look after his kid.

Ana is -- a cardboard cutout of a character -- but what little the show has given us has kept her removed from being any kind of support. There’s some dating (that revolves around math homework? Apparently? I guess this is a kind of support???) but we don’t actually see her interacting with Chris, we’re just told that she used to be a favourite teacher of his. Eddie gets shot and she sits in his hospital room. That’s it. She has one line, something like, ‘Any news yet doctor?’ and then is mute again, smiling beatifically at Buck when Eddie wakes up (and stepping aside, so as not to stand in between which, nice directorial choices there, nice metaphor), and then cheering at a welcome home party for Eddie. So...not much of a real partner there.

Then there’s Buck. Their initial friction ends with: ‘You can have my back any day’ and, ‘Or, you can have mine’. It’s humorous, but also that’s the thing that makes them more than teammates. Either one of them takes a risk, the other’s got them covered, this is common in the found family that is the 118 true, but the juxtaposition of Eddie and Buck, vs Chim and Hen reveals they’ve got a bit more invested in the other. ‘You wanna do a rope rescue?!” fine then, I’m gonna be the one holding your line. You wanna save your ex’s fiance from this unstable train car? I’m pissed at you, and you’re an idiot, but stop arguing with the Cap and just do it and I’m gonna be right here by the window when you get through’. ‘Oh, you’re having a mental breakdown working out some deep-seated issues trying to pull this metaphorical (but also very literal) weight off a victim while everything burns around you? I will be the first person on the line to help you lift’. ‘Hey, you’ve fallen down a well? I’m going to dig through the earth with my hands while the team tries to figure out if there’s a better way to save you’. ‘Oh, you got gunned down by a sniper in the middle of the street? Imma pull you under this firetruck to safety, hike you over my shoulder and then ride with you to the hospital, no big. Just stay with me’.

Buck sees Eddie struggling to look after Christopher and introduces him to Carla, who helps Eddie sort everything out, including Christopher’s school. Pretty sure if we compare all the scenes where Eddie’s talking about how he’s struggling (not many, I know) there’s more of him talking to Buck than there are of him talking to Bobby. He tells his therapist he doesn’t want his kid to be like him: constantly repressing and not talking about his feelings. In the same ep a few minutes later, there’s Buck going, “time to talk about FEELINGS”. Eddie needs a partner to go on a treasure hunt? Forget his cardboard girlfriend, his first choice is Buck. The same Buck who Christopher runs to when he wants a safe space that isn’t home. Who talks to Christopher after Eddie’s shot, and then is repeatedly shown taking care of Christopher throughout the ep. When Eddie wakes up, you know his first thought is Christopher and Ana’s right there. His girlfriend, Ana. Does he ask her how his kid is doing? Apparently not, he waits until Buck takes over to ask, and then have a video call. This was a choice. If they wanted to strengthen Eddie/Ana, this moment could easily have been given to her, it wasn’t.

Let’s talk about Eddie during the lawsuit arch. His grocery store meltdown and the grudge he holds when Buck returns to the 118: it’s the first time Buck wasn’t acting like his partner. The lawsuit, initiated by Buck, exposed Eddie and Christopher and the 118 (who Eddie needs as an extended family almost as much as Buck) to ‘a lot of eyes’ (judgement) and stress. ‘Your actions affect other people, that’s what it means to be part of a team’. It also prevented Eddie from reaching out to Buck because they can’t be in contact: ‘Do you know how much Christopher misses you? ... what if I needed to be bailed out of jail?’ What’s interesting is how quick Eddie is to trust Buck again. Given how long it took him to forgive Shannon, his actual wife who he admits he abandoned first, you’d think he’d have more of a problem with Buck. That there would be some residual friction even after they manage to patch things superficially. But no, 7 eps later they are so much back to trusting each other that Eddie puts Buck in his will. Why? Because Buck hears everything that Eddie says and meets it: ‘you’re right’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and whatever he needs to do he’s willing to earn that trust back. We never had that discussion between Eddie and Shannon, there was too much between them that they wouldn’t/couldn’t hear the other.

From the other side of it, Buck needs a family. He needs to feel that he has people who will stick with him come what may. For as much as he invests and tries to make this the 118, we know that there’s some work there still, mainly because of Bobby and Chimney. Bobby, who we see is periodically incapable of seeing Buck for Buck, and gets overprotective and overbearing. By putting him on light duties he’s taking the family away from Buck, which is why Buck’s response is so extreme. Chim because of the complication his relationship with Maddie offers, obscuring his ‘allegiances’ (as we see with the Buck Begins arch’), but this makes it hard for Buck to feel like he’s fully got them in his corner, there’s a ‘but’ inherent in their relationship. And he’ll always love Maddie, but he’s still working on relying on her because she abandoned him once, and finding out she kept such a big secret from him is a further complication. (not sh****** on these characters, btw, I love them, but it complicates the relationship from Buck’s perspective).

His girlfriends are no different. Abby, given what she’s been going through in her own life, is not ready to be there for yet another person, which is why I think she doubles down on peacing-out so hard on Buck -- she feels guilty but also it’s everything she does not want at this moment. She’s trying to find herself, she doesn’t want to be there for someone else. Ali isn’t comfortable with the dangers of his work, and Taylor is basically early Buck -- focused on herself and her job and her own needs. All that is great, but it’s not what Buck needs right now. Aside, but this is sort of what I see in what’s likely to be the inevitable Taylor/Buck relationship: Buck is going to be her Abby. I really hope we see him get to a place where he can end things for himself, because that would be a step forward for his character.

In contrast, there’s Eddie. Because he’s Eddie there’s no loud gestures, just constant and repeated demonstrations of support. I always thought it was interesting how they wrote that early ep where Eddie’s abuela is hurt. (not tinfoil hatting, I just thought it revealed something neat about his headspace). Because Eddie’s worried and Buck’s right behind him coming into the hospital. Eddie is introducing Buck to his family as his family: this is tia ... Peppa. Just a little thing that illuminates where Eddie’s head is at, and I wonder if the writers would have written him so wrapped-up in his family if it had been a different character with him?

There’s that little moment pre-tsunami where Bobby’s talking to the 118 about how they have to be there for Buck, and the camera shows Eddie frown to himself and then a few scenes later he’s demonstrating that he (1) clearly has a key to Buck’s place, (2) is planning to deal with Buck’s depression with a wrecking ball, aka, over-exposure to the literal ray of light that is Christopher Diaz. This always felt to me like Eddie going, ‘hey, I know what helped me deal with my depression and ptsd etc when I got back from Afghanistan, I bet it will help you too’.

The tsunami arch is Buck desperately trying to find Christopher, yes, but lets not forget it’s also Buck desperately trying to hide the fact that he lost Christopher from Eddie. It’s literally the worst thing he could do, and how can he tell Eddie because obviously the only result is his losing Eddie forever, too. But he does it. The writers give us this moment where Buck stands up and starts to explain. I love this, because of course it shifts things between them. After you’ve admitted the worst possible thing to someone, anything else becomes small, and more manageable. We see this in the way that Buck talks to Eddie after. The kitchen convo, he takes a breath and dives in: ‘if you can’t be honest with your therapist at least me honest with me’. He’s a lot more comfortable making himself vulnerable to Eddie, because he’s done this once already and what was Eddie’s reaction?

‘There’s no one I trust with my kid more.’ ‘A natural disaster happened, Buck.’ And in that same conversation, Eddie unknowingly gives Buck the words to express what he’s needed all this time, that he’s never gotten. ‘I love him enough to never stop trying’, so in S4 Buck’s able to say to his parents, ‘You gave up on us’, and when they ask what else they were supposed to do? ‘Love us anyway’.

We see multiple people trying to support Buck when he’s on light duty, trying to explain that he’s more than this job. But Buck wants to help people, he needs to feel useful in a more direct way than being a teacher, or a 911 operator etc help people. And he’s not suited to being a medic or a doctor, he’s got to throw his whole body at a problem, and despite their best intentions, trying to explain that he’s more than the job (very true) without saying other jobs that might satisfy that need can’t allay Buck’s fears. We never hear Eddie considering that Buck won’t come back, his position is always that Buck needs to trust his captain, and as a result we never see how he’d speak to Buck about not being a firefighter, he never doubts that Buck will be back. But we do get to see his reaction after Buck’s rescue in Buck Begins, which is solid and supportive, “I know”, rather than being angry at the risk that was taken.

Eddie’s made Buck a part of his family, as demonstrated by the video game nights they share with Christopher, how Buck is at home in Eddie’s house (’Uh, this is Eddie’s house so I’m not exactly a guest’), how he invites Buck to help chaperone his kid’s first sleepover, how apparently a playdate with Hen and her kid and Eddie and Christopher also includes Buck. How he confidently tells Buck, ‘We’re family’ when Buck’s over-identifying with Red and worrying about being left behind -- and he can be exactly that confident, apparently, because by this point he’s gone and made Buck Christopher’s legal guardian.

There’s not enough space in this series (short of creating another spinoff series and then doing a crossover) to write a female character who is so well developed and complex, and so inextricably woven into either character that she can believably compete with what Buck and Eddie are to each other. No other relationship will be able to compete, because the writing has been winding them around each other from the start.

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

[sam-and-buck]

At Home With Captain America

Fandom: MCU

Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes

Rating: G

Words: 7.7k

Also on AO3

“What can you tell me about how you got to know the Winter Soldier?”

Wilson chuckles. “The first time I met Buck—Sergeant Barnes—he ripped the steering wheel out of the car I was driving on the freeway. He got on the roof, punched through the windshield, pulled the steering wheel off. Just like that.” He mimes with his hands as he describes it.

This doesn’t sound like an auspicious beginning to me, but Wilson is laughing.

At Home with Captain America

By: Adrien Davis

Published: February 2, 2026, 3:35 PM 

To say I’m intimidated by interviewing Captain America in his own home would be an understatement, and I would never have thought to ask if I could do that if he hadn’t personally invited me. Normally, I’d start one of these articles by describing the location, maybe even throw in an anecdote or two about how I got there, but that’s not going to be possible here.

Sam Wilson lives on [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]. It was a windy day.

Here’s what I can tell you: it’s an apartment. A nice one. Two bedroom, two bath.

“Am I allowed to describe the inside of your house?” is one of the first things I say to him, after getting his permission to turn on my recorder.

“Go right ahead,” he laughs, arms crossed over the worn USAF logo on his gray t-shirt. “Just don’t put the street name in there or anything.”

Wilson gives me a moment to poke around. Whoever decorated this place has good taste; it’s no haphazard bachelor pad. There’s an exposed brick wall in the otherwise slate blue living room, several plants (which I assume are fakes—albeit convincing ones—since Wilson is, by his own admission, not home as often as he’d like to be), a sturdy walnut coffee table, and a magnificently squishy-looking red couch.

It’s unmistakably lived in, though. I don’t get the sense that the place has been scrubbed spotless or particularly arranged for my visit. There are two abandoned mugs on coasters sitting on the coffee table, along with several different remote controls, and a stack of half-finished books with dog-eared corners. A pile of mail has been pushed to the side. Next to the door, a wall-mounted coat rack holds several leather jackets in shades of brown and black, and at least as many sweaters, mostly navy blue, charcoal and maroon. The shoe rack underneath houses multiple pairs of black combat boots, worn running shoes, house slippers. And next to that, on the floor, a large, gleaming silver case with red detail that could only contain Wilson’s Falcon wingpack. The legendary shield is propped up against it, ready to go at a moment’s notice.

I’m trying to imagine how it would be to leave the house for him. Got my keys, wings, phone, shield, wallet?

There are pictures on the walls and the mantle above the fireplace, under the television. People who I can only assume are Wilson’s relatives by their similarly gap-toothed smiles. Veterans. Wilson in full air force gear next to a blond man I don’t recognize. Then Captain Steve Rogers, in the 1940s with the Howling Commandos, and in the twenty-first century by himself. Wilson with Rogers, and Natasha Romanoff. One conspicuously empty nail where a large frame would clearly fit. 

Scattered among these are several very old, dour black and white photographs of a dark-haired family. The first shows a mother, father and two small children, a boy and girl. The second is the mother and children only, taken some time after, judging by their apparent ages. The third is several years later still; the same children with light eyes and dark hair, but they’re teeangers now, and without parents. They look haunting and out-of-place among the glossy prints of Wilson’s big, happy family in matching 80s colorblocked tracksuits, or Wilson and his sisters in front of a Christmas tree, surrounded by wrapping paper and toys.

There’s also a wood-framed painting that stands out: an idyllic watercolor of a little farmhouse with a green roof and shuttered windows in a field. A small pile of lumber and a white mailbox make up the foreground. The most distinctive feature is the signature at the bottom: S.G.R. I know those initials. 

“Captain Rogers painted this?”

“Uh huh,” Wilson nods fondly, hands now in his pockets. “Man of many talents. Maybe every talent. Having a hard time thinking of anything he wasn’t good at.”

I hear the unstated in that. A tough act to follow.

I think, for purposes of journalistic integrity, I should probably insert my bias before we go any further. We had never met before this interview, but I am and have always been enormously supportive of Captain Wilson and the work he’s done, and have written myriad articles and think pieces about him over the past several years. He’s shown himself time and again to be a man of unshakable integrity and endless emotional intelligence, and frankly, I’m more worried about the poor sucker who’s going to have to follow Wilson. Rogers did a lot of great things, but among the best of them was choosing a successor.

I tell him as much and he smiles, looking down at his shoes.

“Yeah, I know that’s how you feel,” he says. “I requested you for this piece, actually, because of that. People are going to accuse me of wanting a softball interview here, and maybe they’re right. For this one, I think that’s what I need.”

I’m not sure what he means by that, but he continues before I can ask.

“We should probably do this in the kitchen.” Wilson indicates behind us with his thumb, after I’ve stood silently in his living room for probably way too long. “That couch is too comfortable. I end up falling asleep every time I sit on it.”

The kitchen is, perhaps, a little cramped. There’s a large, dark marble-topped kitchen island that just fits in the center of the room with four bar stools tucked under it. The cabinets are tall, with glass doors showcasing a massive collection of healthy, but non-perishable food. The shelf nearest us holds several well-used bags of pantry supplies: chickpea flour, arrowroot starch, raw sugar. There’s a pasta shelf above it, but no Kraft Mac in sight; everything is lentil-based, chickpea-based, black bean-based.

“Have a seat,” Wilson says, inclining his head towards one of the barstools. “Can I get you something to drink?” He opens the refrigerator.

“We have…” he pauses. “Water. Sorry, just got back from Ecuador this morning. Sparkling or still?”

I accept a glass of still water from Captain America. He sits down on the stool next to mine.

His house, or what I’ve seen of it, is homey in a way I can’t imagine any of the late Tony Stark’s buildings ever were, and I mention this.

“I lived at the Avengers Tower briefly,” Wilson tells me. “Tony liked everything streamlined, really modern. Kinda sparse for my taste. I needed some real furniture when I got out of there, you know? Like, things that were made by human beings. Stuff with ‘character,’ that’s what Steve would call it.”

“So you decorated this place?”

“I think it’s about fifty-fifty,” Wilson says, indicated with vague hand motion.

This is my in.

This interview, as you may have read on the cover description, is actually intended to be an exposé about the working partnership between Wilson and Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, but I didn’t want to be the one who brought him up first. 

All I knew going in is that they’re a package deal in the field, a unit. We’ve all seen the footage.

Also, Barnes lives here too, but evidently, he’s not home.

“What can you tell me about how you got to know the Winter Soldier?”

Wilson chuckles. “The first time I met Buck—Sergeant Barnes—he ripped the steering wheel out of the car I was driving on the freeway. He got on the roof, punched through the windshield, pulled the steering wheel off. Just like that.” He mimes with his hands as he describes it.

This doesn’t sound like an auspicious beginning to me, but Wilson is laughing.

“I hope he apologized to you for that,” I tell him, because I’m not exactly sure how else to respond.

“Oh yeah, of course he did, even though he knows I don’t blame him for it. He doesn’t remember it at all,” says Wilson. “There are a lot of gaps, to be honest. Most of it is gaps.”

What Wilson is likely referring to here is the decades-long period in which Barnes was under the complete mental and physical influence of the Nazi splinter group known as HYDRA. If you’re unfamiliar with the history of Sergeant Barnes, I’ll list a couple of great articles for you to read at the end of this one. I assure you, it’s worth your time. 

Wilson has without a doubt been Barnes’s most ardent supporter. He’s spoken out many times about not judging Barnes based on the actions he couldn’t control, and has masterfully refocused the national conversation towards Barnes’s invaluable contributions in World War II and in the recent war to bring half the universe’s population back into existence. Wilson has been quoted as saying, “The least extraordinary thing about Sergeant Barnes is his vibranium arm.”*

But perhaps Wilson’s most effective act towards building public confidence in Barnes was his decision to designate him as an almost exclusive mission partner. Even if the general populace has been reluctant to trust the Winter Soldier, it is abundantly clear that Captain America does, absolutely. Barnes is a constant in the footage of Wilson’s exploits. The moment he touches down on the ground after a successful arrest or negotiation, Barnes is right there. He’s been sighted treating Wilson’s minor injuries, tightening straps on the Falcon wingsuit before Wilson takes flight, and he stands quietly behind Wilson during almost all of his many public appearances.

Despite his ubiquitous presence in Wilson’s company, Barnes has remained elusive for comment. He has no social media, and the only public statement he’s made to date was in November of 2023, in support of Rogers’s decision to pass on the legacy of Captain America. Barnes expressed his categorical agreement that Wilson is “the best and only choice for this job,” describing him as both “worthy of the honor,” and “equipped for the burden.”**

“Is it fair to say that Sergeant Barnes almost comes with the shield?” I ask.

Wilson makes a face.

“No, it isn’t,” he shakes his head. “The shield is an accessory; my partner is not. I really don’t like it when people lump him in with the shield. It sort of minimizes how Bucky and I have made a series of conscious choices to be the way we are now. Especially because he’s experienced being fully stripped of his personal autonomy—as a veteran, I can say I’ve had a taste of that, but nothing like what he’s been through—and I think it cheapens his choice to do what he does if we imply that he, as a person, is a package deal with my title, you know?”

The therapist in Wilson is showing. In addition to his decorated military history and service as Captain America, he has a background in psychology, and a Masters degree in Social Work with a focus on Veterans’ mental health issues. He’s worked extensively with the VA as a leader in group therapy.

“So Sergeant Barnes is by your side day in and day out because he wants to be?”

This, Wilson has another unequivocal answer for. “Yes. He wants to be there, and I want him there. And here at home.”

“Tell me a little more about that,” I say. “After the...steering-wheel-stealing incident. Once he was more or less himself. Did you two hit it off right away?”

Wilson laughs again. “Not at all,” he says. “I think there was this resentment, kind of, in the beginning. Like I’m Steve’s best friend and no, I’m Steve’s best friend. Real elementary school stuff. He really got on my nerves; just everything about him annoyed me, and the feeling was mutual. Looking back…”

And here Wilson pauses for a moment. He chews on his bottom lip, and I notice all at once how nervous his body language has become. His fingers are drumming on the table, the line of his shoulders is taut, his leg is bouncing. He clears his throat though, and seems determined to continue.

“Looking back, I can see where it was coming from. It wasn’t clear to me at the time, but now I get it. There was this one time, it was during the fight over the Accords. We barely knew each other at this point. Buck and I, we’re fighting Spider-Man—who neither of us had ever even heard of before, like, that afternoon—and he pins us to the floor of this hangar with that goo he shoots out of his wrist. Really gross. I manage to get Redwing [Wilson’s drone] to fling Spider-Man out the window. So we’re just laying there, me and Bucky, stuck. And he goes ‘you couldn’t have done that before?’ And I just turn to him, and I’m like, ‘I hate you.’”

At this, Wilson really starts cracking up. He relaxes visibly, just a little.

“Did you mean it?”

“I sure thought I did,” he says, still chuckling. “Like, I wasn’t about to take it back.”

He continues: “Anyway, so after Steve, you know, passed on the shield to me, that’s when things really changed. Actually, back up a second. After the whole Accords incident, we ended up sending Bucky to Wakanda for like… to hear him describe it, it’s like we sent him for a two-year spa retreat. They unscrambled his brain as best they could—and really, I think it’s a good thing they couldn’t do any more because I wouldn’t wish some of his memories on my worst enemy—and he spent like months meditating in a hut and milking goats and going to therapy every day. When I met up with him again, I barely would’ve recognized him.”

“So that’s kind of when you guys reconciled? The arguing stopped?”

“Oh, it never stopped,” Wilson says with a grin. “We still argue all the time, about all kinds of things. Just ask Rhodey [Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, aka War Machine] or Scott [Lang, Ant-Man] or anybody. But the dynamic shifted a little, I think. Bucky’s got… Like I can’t imagine some of the stuff he’s been through, but he’s just kind of learned to roll with it. He is hands down the most resilient person I have ever met. Easily. It was real hard to keep hating him when he was so dead set on getting me to like him, too.”

“Can you walk me through the process by which you two decided to live together?”

“Yeah,” he says, and the nervousness is back. He smooths his hands on his thighs over his jeans. “So, basically, once I got the shield, we’d just barely come back. Like everyone else who got… I—I still don’t know if this is like an okay question to ask people. Do you mind me asking if you were dusted?”

I don’t mind. “Yeah, I was.”

“So you get it,” Wilson says. “Might be the most vulnerable I’d ever felt. I got nothing. Nowhere to go, just the clothes on my back. Then Steve hands me this shield and this enormous legacy—and I look back and there’s Bucky, standing a couple of yards behind me, nodding like, yeah, it should be you. He was the first person who knew, and he’s been right by my side ever since.”

“So you decided to stick together?”

“The original conversation about it was pretty logistical,” Wilson says, rubbing his beard. “There was so much going on, it’s hard to remember exactly what was said, but I think it was along the lines of him offering to fetch the shield for me while I learned how to throw it, and stuff like that. Just easier to do when we’re together 24/7.”

“So rooming together didn’t actually grow out of field partnerships?”

“It was definitely the other way around,” says Wilson. “Basically, I’d get a call from the powers that be that there was something I had to go check out, and it was easier to just walk across the hall than to pick someone else, try to wake them up, and then have to rendez-vous and strategize.”

“I’ll bet,” I say.

Wilson nods. “Easier and faster. Bucky can go from dead asleep to fully geared up in under three minutes. The first few times were like that, with me just knocking on his bedroom door like ‘hey, I need—’ and he comes barreling out covered in knives thirty seconds later like, ‘where are we going?’ We just… clicked. And I’ll be honest; I was really surprised. He’s got my six, I’ve got his, and I never question it. I started asking for him specifically on all my assignments after that, and Fury [Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.] and everyone caught on quick that that’s how it was gonna be. I don’t have to ask anymore.”

“Do you see this continuing long term?” I ask.

Wilson doesn’t hesitate. “Definitely.”

“How would you describe your relationship with Sergeant Barnes now?” I ask. “Clearly you’re partners in the field, and roommates, but…”

Wilson takes a deep breath. His hands are shaking, but he clasps them together in front of him and looks me straight in the eye.

“As of last month,” he says slowly, “Bucky and I are married.”

In the spirit of my interview with Captain America, who stands for honesty and justice and integrity, I think you deserve to know the truth. I want to say that I didn’t drop my recorder, but I did. It clatters to the floor, luckily undamaged.

That startles Wilson into a laugh. For the second it takes me to retrieve my recorder from under my seat, I wonder if he’s kidding.

“Come on,” he says. “Say something. I’m getting nervous.” He’s smiling, but not joking.

“Congratulations,” I blurt out. “I...really?”

“Yeah.” The tension leaves his body in a rush. “We, uh, it’s official.”

I’m struggling for questions at this point. The talking points I was planning on hitting in this interview are all suddenly moot, and I decide to throw out my mental to-do list entirely. I finally settle on, “How long have you two been together?”

“A little over two years,” Wilson answers. “About three months after I took up the shield.”

“How did it happen?”

Wilson grins. “Uh, well. I had sort of been…having feelings about him, you know, for awhile. Actually, it’s more like I had noticed that I was having more-than-friendly feelings in the few weeks leading up to that. I think the main reason we had so much trouble getting along in the beginning is that it took some time to process those feelings as attraction. So in a way, I was interested on some level right from the get go.”

“Even if that person wasn’t...behind the wheel of their own brain, so to speak—” I start, but Wilson interjects.

“I see what you did there.”

“—I think it would take a lot for me to be attracted to someone who had previously tried to kill me.”

“Less than I would’ve expected, that’s for sure,” Wilson says. “But it’s not like I was checking him out while he was busy tearing my wings off my back; I’m talking about once he was mentally present in his body. That was like...two years after the whole steering wheel incident, and I hadn’t seen him at all in the interim. I didn’t even know where he was during that time.”

“So it had at least been awhile since he had tried to kill you?”

“Oh yeah. And plenty of other people tried to kill me in those two years, and they weren’t even sorry about it. You gotta adjust your standards, you know?” he says with a laugh.

“Anyway, if you ask him, he says he’s been all in since the moment he saw me back in Wakanda after his little vacation. Now we’re talking about four years since the steering wheel thing. Me, Steve, Nat and everybody; we landed in Wakanda and Bucky’s there. He and I look at each other over Steve’s shoulder, and like, bam, that was it for him. 

“And then there’s five years where neither of us exist. We get back, we fight the monsters, Steve gives me the shield, and while all this is happening, apparently Bucky has come to the conclusion that he’s in love with me. After that, he was just waiting for me to catch up.”

“And he just knew you’d get there? Did you give him any indication that you were interested, or…?”

“I definitely did, but not intentionally,” says Wilson. “He’s very perceptive—like way more than I was giving him credit for—but I think it’s a combination of that and me not being as subtle as I think I am.

“Because, see there’s this invisible line I’ve drawn here—at least that’s how he was thinking about it—and I keep dancing a little closer to that line every day, the line being the no homo line; the point where you can’t take it back. The flirting, I mean. I, of course, think he has no clue and that I’m being slick about it. Actually, lemme ask—how much detail are you looking for here? Like do you want to know the whole story or just—”

“Lay it on me,” I tell him. “Just however you want to tell it.”

“Alright. Where was I? So I’m just there going back and forth on whether or not it’s a good idea to risk this roommate-partner-buddy thing we’ve got going here by trying to make a move that, frankly, I have no clue if he’s gonna be receptive to. You have to remember we’re talking about a guy from the Great Depression here, like that’s the time period he grew up in. I’m no historian, but I think it’s common knowledge that if you were a man who was attracted to men back then, you mostly kept that to yourself. The chances of him bringing up his sexual orientation unprompted are very low. And like, I’m 90% sure I’ve caught him looking before, but that’s never a guarantee, you know?

“So, instead of sitting down and having a mature conversation about my feelings, I keep doing this thing where, for example, say he’s trying something new with his hair, and I’ll say something nice about it. And then I follow up immediately with, ‘Almost makes up for your ugly mug,’ or whatever, which—I mean, he’s such a good-looking guy, like what ugly mug, obviously I don’t mean that. And he’s not stupid, he knows what he looks like. So he picks up on what I’m doing, doesn’t say anything, and lets this go on for months.

“Eventually, there’s one night… We’re on the couch, watching like, I don’t know, Seinfeld or something. Whatever was on. He’s reading a book on my tablet, looking all relaxed and handsome. I can’t have that, so I start egging him on like I usually do, and I guess I got close enough to the line that he just puts the tablet down, turns to me and says, ‘Sam, you know there’s no line, right?’ 

“And I’m going, okay, what does that mean? Like, is this a conversation I was previously a part of and forgot or...? Where is this ‘line’ thing coming from? And so I ask him—I think I just said, ‘What?’ At that point he looks me right in the eye, and he goes, ‘You can kiss me if you want to.’” So I did, and he was ready for it, like no hesitation. Like I said: waiting for me to catch up.”

This, as you can imagine, is far beyond the level of detail I could have ever imagined I’d get about Captain America’s love life in my wildest dreams. I decide to ask a new question, because I feel like I’d be pushing my luck to delve further when he’s already been so open about this experience. 

“Who proposed and when?” 

“Ooh,” says Wilson, “I guess technically I did, but I’m gonna go on record saying that one was a group effort.”

“Well, now you’re gonna have to explain that,” I tell him. “What’s a ‘group effort’ proposal look like?”

“Hmm. I backed myself into that one, didn’t I?” he says. “First, I want the record to show that before I called you guys to set up this interview, I specifically asked Bucky if there were any us-related topics or whatever that were off-limits to discuss and he said ‘No,’ and I said, ‘Are you sure?’ and he said ‘Yes, I’m sure,’ and I said, “You better be sure, because whatever I say is gonna be public knowledge after that,” and he said “I know, I get it, Jesus.” Then I dropped it because he sounded like he was getting kinda irritated. If he didn’t want me to tell you any of this stuff, that would’ve been the time to speak up, so here we go:

“We were at… Well, I can’t tell you exactly where we were, but let’s just say we were working. There was nobody else in the room, but we were getting ready to go out in the field; seemed like it was gonna be a pretty...intense situation out there. I had my whole suit on, he was calibrating his arm, and the conversation ended up at living wills. As you can imagine, that’s an important thing to have when you’re in this line of work. So he proceeded to tell me that the last time he’d updated his was never and that his next-of-kin was nobody. And I was like, ‘So what, your grenade launchers are all gonna go to the state? I don’t even get the red one?’ and I’m just giving him a hard time, you know, and he’s like, ‘Sam.’ 

“And then, my god, he just goes all the way off about how much he loves me and trusts me and I—we don’t usually go there. I mean, we’d been on the same page for a long time as far as, we’ve established that we’re in love, this relationship is going well, but it’s not something that we’d verbalized in any real depth. That’s just a level of like, exposure, vulnerability, I think, that doesn’t come naturally to most people, myself included. 

“So he just keeps talking—and I think it’s fair to say he’s not a very talkative guy most of the time—and I’m standing there with my jaw on the floor because he is not holding back, and this is all clearly unrehearsed. Like, this is just how he really feels about me, apparently. By the time he’s finished, I’m crying, he’s crying, it’s a mess. And so I open my mouth, and I have no idea what I’m gonna say to all that, but what comes out is, “Will you marry me?” I wasn’t planning on it, but suddenly I just knew. Best decision I ever made.”

“And you’ve made some very important decisions in your life.”

“That’s right. I know which ones I’m leaving out by saying this was the best, and I stand by it.”

At that moment, as if on cue, the lock clicks, and Sergeant Barnes walks through the front door carrying two very full bags of groceries on his vibranium arm. He tosses a set of car keys into a little dish and locks the door behind him.

“Hey, babe,” Wilson calls out, catching his eye.

“You did it?” Barnes asks.

“Yeah.” Wilson tilts his head up.

Barnes rounds the corner, pecks Wilson on the lips with all the comfort and familiarity of a couple who have done it a thousand times. I hear him murmur, “Proud of you,” under his breath.

Barnes sets the groceries on the counter in front of me as Wilson introduces us.

“Call me Bucky,” says Barnes, reaching out with his right hand to shake mine. There’s a silver band on the fourth finger, and when I look back over at Wilson, he’s slipping his wedding ring out of the pocket of his jeans and putting it back on his left hand.

“Wasn’t sure if I’d be able to go through with all this,” he says, gesturing to me and my notepad. “I took the wedding pictures down in the living room too, before you got here.”

“I knew he could do it,” Barnes tells me. His voice is low, soft, and so quiet, a hint of an old Brooklyn accent underlying his words even now, despite everything he’s been through and everywhere he’s been. He shrugs out of his nondescript hoodie and tosses it on one of the unused stools, grabbing a kettle and putting it on the stove.

“Hibiscus or chamomile?” he asks me, pulling two boxes of tea bags from one of the grocery bags and letting me choose before turning to Wilson. “Bad news, hon. They were out of your whole wheat pita.”

“Again?” says Wilson, with feeling. “Really?”

“They only had the gluten free. I guess I could check the other store tonight, but it’s supposed to rain later, and I kinda don’t feel like going out again,” Barnes says, head buried in the cupboard as he stacks cans. “I was thinking maybe I could just try making ‘em. How does that sound? How hard can it be, right?”

“‘How does homemade pita sound,’ he says,” Wilson repeats, jabbing a thumb towards Barnes. “Can you believe this guy?”

“I honestly can’t.” It’s the truth. My brain refuses to reconcile this man with the supposed playboy I read about in my 11th grade history textbook, nor the internationally feared assassin.

“Is that a yes or no on the experimental homemade pita?” Barnes asks Wilson, still deep in the cupboard. “No promises on quality.”

“That’s a yes, Buck,” says Wilson, then he turns to me. “Don’t listen to him; he’s a great cook.”

The Winter Soldier is a great cook, I write in my notes. And then I realize this is my moment to shine.

“I actually know a good recipe for homemade pita,” I tell them. “It’s whole wheat.” That gets Barnes’s attention.

“You do?” he says, pulling out his phone. “Can you send it to—hmm.” He frowns. “Sam, it’s not showing the thing.”

“What thing?” Wilson asks, taking Barnes’s phone from his hand. “Oh, yeah, that’s cause it’s set to Contacts Only, Buck, you have to switch it to Allow Everyone.”

Wilson looks at me, smiling. “Bucky here hates technology—”

“—I don’t hate technology—”

“Oh yes you do, you won’t even let me get you an iPad—”

“Yeah, for what? What do I need it for? I wouldn’t even use—”

“You wouldn’t use one, huh? How about I stop letting you borrow mine for a couple of weeks, then we’ll see how you feel.” Wilson turns to me, passing Barnes’s phone back to him. “He should be showing up on your AirDrop now.”

Sure enough, I’m able to send the recipe link to Bucky’s iPhone. He thanks me and starts scrolling right through it, argument apparently totally forgotten.

As Barnes continues to read, periodically checking on the kettle; Wilson excuses himself to help put away the rest of the groceries, which are mostly produce. 

“I hope you have like, immediate plans for these,” Wilson says, inspecting the avocados as he pulls them out of the paper bag. “They are ripe, man. Tomorrow’s gonna be too late for them.”

“Yeah I do, I was gonna make grilled chicken and avocado sandwiches for dinner,” Barnes replies. “I got tomatoes, swiss cheese—”

“What’s all this about pita then if we’re having sandwiches?” Wilson asks.

“No, the pita is the bread here,” Barnes explains. “You stuff everything in the pocket. I’m gonna have to get started pretty soon; probably gonna double the rising time since it’s cold out.” Wilson hums in apparent approval of this course of action.

I lose Wilson to the refrigerator for several minutes. He stands back up after arranging things in the crisper to his liking.

“Any chance I could get a peek at those wedding pictures?” I ask.

“Oh,” says Wilson. “That okay with you?” He turns to Barnes, who nods, carefully steeping bags of tea in three steaming mugs, and then leads me back to the living room. 

Wilson has stashed two silver-framed pictures in a drawer of the coffee table, apparently in anticipation of my visit, and he pulls them out to show to me. Both are taken in front of a familiar-looking farmhouse, which I struggle with for a moment before placing it as the exact one in Captain Rogers’s watercolor painting that’s hanging to my left. Wilson’s suit in the photo is a matte but brilliant shade of cobalt; Barnes wears black.

One is of just the two of them, arms around one another and foreheads together. It’s almost too intimate to look at; I feel as though I’m intruding on something intensely private, even though Wilson is standing right here offering me a glimpse of it.

He puts that one back up onto the mantle.

The next is them in the center of a large group that consists of some people I recognize and others I don’t. Familiar faces include Dr. Bruce Banner [The Hulk], Clint Barton [Hawkeye], and Maria Hill [Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.]. Also present: King T’Challa of Wakanda and his sister, Princess Shuri. There’s a young girl in a white dress, carrying a flower basket and missing a front tooth, standing in front of [C.E.O. of Stark Industries] Pepper Potts. Next to them is a teenager with floppy brown hair doing an indescribably awkward double thumbs up.

“Who’s that?” I ask, pointing at him.

Wilson snorts. “Some punk. Family friend.”

That picture gets hung on the empty nail next to Captain Rogers’s painting.

Barnes knocks quietly on the doorway behind us. “Tea’s ready.”

An awkward silence settles in with us once we sit back down in the kitchen, Wilson and Barnes next to one another, and me across from them. I flip through my notes, taking a sip from my mug.. My drink is sweeter than I was expecting, because apparently the Winter Soldier has added agave to the hibiscus tea he made me. It’s delicious.

Barnes eventually breaks. “So whatcha go over so far?”

“How we got together, how we got engaged,” Wilson answers him. “In detail too, so if you don’t want that published, you’re gonna have to grovel at the journalist yourself, because you said—”

“Oh my god,” says Barnes, old-school New York sarcasm dripping from every word. “How dare you tell people about the best thing I ever did, huh? Now they’re gonna think I’m like, a sensitive, good guy, and here I’ve been coasting along on this murder cyborg image. What have you done, you dick?”

Wilson rolls his eyes.

“So...you’re okay with it?” I ask them, absolutely ready to scrub the record if he hesitates.

“You kidding me?” says Barnes. “Every other week comes up some new atrocity I committed against my will in like...the 70s, and you think I’m gonna be upset with people knowing that once in a while I say nice shit to someone I love? Write it. Please. Knock yourself out.”

Okay then. Since Barnes seems willing to talk, I ask them if I can throw them a few questions I have for them as a couple. Barnes looks as though he wasn’t anticipating this.

Wilson turns to him. “You wanna be here for this?”

Barnes nods slowly, hesitantly, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“You’re okay?” Wilson asks. “You decide you’re done at any point and I’ll end it. Or you can go hang out in the other room, your call.”

“I’m good for now,” Barnes decides. “I’ll let you know if that changes.”

“You can ask whatever you want,” Wilson says to me. “I can’t promise we’ll answer everything, but go ahead and shoot.”

“I guess the first question I have is: what’s the hardest thing about navigating your jobs as a couple? What bothers you the most about that?”

Wilson exhales loudly. “I mean, the obvious answer is the danger,” he says. “The nature of what we do is fundamentally unsafe. I think it goes without saying—I’ll still say it—that we’re always aware that one of us might not make it back from a mission, which is...” Wilson trails off for a moment, shaking his head. “You don’t get used to that feeling. The fear.”

“Mm hmm,” Barnes agrees, from behind his mug.

“And,” continues Wilson, “I’m also aware that by doing this interview, I’m putting Bucky in additional danger. I’m not naive enough to think that the people working against us won’t try to use my relationship with him as leverage against me.”

“That makes sense,” I say, because he’s absolutely right, and pretending that public knowledge of his marriage doesn’t put them both in a new kind of danger seems disingenuous. I face Barnes. “Your turn.”

“Racist assholes,” says Barnes immediately.

Wilson smirks and cocks his head in agreement. “Sometimes I think I’ve talked that subject to death, other times it’s like I could never hope to address it enough. Today feels like the first one.”

A diplomatic, but clear answer. Time to move on. 

I’m about to ask the next question when he adds: “Another thing that gets under my skin is how it’s like Bucky’s image in the eyes of the general public is totally dependent on me hyping him up all the time. As far as I’m concerned, he’s proven himself a hundred times over, and yet if I’m not on T.V. reminding people of that every day, it’s suddenly like ‘oh, the Winter Soldier, can we ever really trust him?’ 

“I just… It bothers me. I want us to come to a collective understanding that everything that happened happened to Bucky, not because of him. It kinda circles back into another of the things I’m passionate about, which is mental health care and awareness. I think if we as a society were better about recognizing and addressing mental illness, and particularly Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I wouldn’t have to keep having this conversation about my husband.”

Barnes’s face is getting pinker and he says nothing, but he’s smiling a little at Wilson, who puts an arm around his shoulders.

“Anyway, we can move on,” says Wilson, his expression going easy again. “Just had to get that out there one more time.”

“Hopefully this one’s a little more pleasant,” I say. “What inspired you to come forward about your relationship? I know you guys—” I gesture between them, ”—have been together for a couple years, so why now?”

“I want to go on a date in public,” says Bucky. “I haven’t been on a date since the 40s.”

“That’s right,” says Wilson. “We’re doing all this so I can take him Denny’s and hold his hand over a $6.99 Super Slam.”

When I finish laughing, Wilson continues. “Part of it’s because we realized it’s gonna get out there whether we like it or not. You already knew when you got here that we lived together, and that’s because that information got leaked to the public last week, so it was always just a matter of time before people found out anyway. I’d rather have some control over that narrative; better you hear it from me and Bucky, how we want to tell it, than in some tabloid.”

He’s right about that: they would undoubtedly have been outed one way or another. Their status as “roommates” was reported by TMZ a week and a half ago, and there was a Buzzfeed piece only yesterday, rife with gifs, entitled 15 Times Captain America and The Winter Soldier Made Us Wish We Were Their Third Roommate, that ended on the note of how Wilson and Barnes are “absolute BFF GOALS.” Wilson continues:

“But I think the biggest reason is that we decided, together, that we actually think it’s good for people to  know. I’ve seen firsthand the impact that having a Black Captain America has had on the Black community and on the national topic of race, and we think—we hope—that a Captain America who is a member of the LGBT community will have a similar effect. 

“The people who already hate me aren’t going to like me any better or worse for being bisexual, but some bisexual teenager out there is hopefully gonna read this article and feel a little bit better about themselves than they did before. That’s really the impact I want to have here. Got anything to add, Buck?”

“Actually, yeah,” says Barnes, staring at the counter in front of him and fiddling with his wedding ring. “I grew up gay in thirties. The idea of being able to just...tell people, that’s still amazing to me. The fact that I’m sitting here talking about it with a stranger and you’re not screamin’ in my face right now…”

“You do know I’m not straight either, right?” I ask him. I’m not exactly shy about that, it’s the kind of thing most people can tell just by looking at me.

“Even so,” says Barnes, finally looking me in the eye. “You fool around with a fella back in the day—or worse, you make a pass and he turns you down—then he knows about you, and then it’s like, what if he tells someone? Some of the worst shit I ever saw came from people who found out that way. So, other gay guys. Basically you never felt safe.”

“What about Captain Rogers?” I ask. “Did he know?”

“Oh yeah, Steve knew,” says Barnes with a dismissive wave of his hand, like that ought to be obvious. “He wasn’t gonna tell anyone; I got too much dirt on him.“

“Pfft. He��s messing with you,” Wilson interjects, directed at me. “There’s no dirt on Steve anywhere; believe me, I’d know by now if there was.”

“I want you to guess how many times I’ve had to clean up Steve’s puke,” says Barnes in a total deadpan, leaning forward. “Whatever number you think it is, the real answer is higher. 

“This again,” says Wilson. “I keep telling you Buck, Steve throwing up on you at Coney Island isn’t the big scandalous story you seem to want it to be.”

“Sam wasn’t there, he didn’t see it,” Barnes insists. “We were with these girls and they just left us standing there by the Cyclone, covered in hot dog chunks. Actually, that part was kind of a relief ‘cause one of ‘em was definitely jonesing for me to kiss her before that, and I really didn’t want to. 

“But seriously, after everything we went through together, I knew I could trust Steve with anything. And that made me luckier than most—at least I had one person. Lots of guys had no one. 

“Anyway, my reasons for coming out with all this are probably more selfish than Sam’s. You know some of those Nazis—we’re callin’ ‘em something else these days, like ‘alt-right’ or whatever, but I know a Nazi when I see one—they have this crazy idea of what I was like back in the day. They’ve got this fantasy, like a golem of toxic masculinity with my face on it, and I just want to publicly shit on their dreams. Every date I ever went on with a girl was a total sham, and I was scared down to my bones that someone would figure that out. I fight because someone needs to and I’m good at it, but I hate hurting people and I’d much rather be sitting here cuddling on the couch with a man. This man.”

Barnes is grinning big and wide by the time he finishes—a real, genuine smile that brings out the sparkle in his eyes—and suddenly I feel like I’m catching a glimpse of what Wilson must be seeing in him. Wilson himself is laughing.

“I like how you snuck your little buzzword in there, baby,” he says. “Toxic masculinity. That’s one of Bucky’s things he learned about from his Wakandan therapist. 

“Obviously super important,” Wilson adds, lest I think he’s making light of something serious.

“I think it’s great that we’re talking about it so openly now, especially with respect to the military.”

Barnes tilts his head in agreement, checking the time on his phone. We’re probably approaching the point at which he wants to get started on that pita bread, and I’m definitely in his way.

“So what’s next for you guys?” I ask.

“Isn’t that always the question?” Wilson asks, taking Barnes’s right hand in his left and resting them, intertwined, on the countertop. “Sometimes it’s aliens. Sometimes not. Who even knows anymore?”

“Hopefully, a whole lot more of this,” says Barnes, looking down at their hands.

Wilson smiles. “Well, that’s a given. That’s always.”

This is when Barnes gets up to pull a stand mixer out of one of the cupboards, and I read that as my cue to take my leave. I end my recording, Wilson thanks me for stopping by, I promise to give him an advance copy of my writing to make sure he’s comfortable with what I said, and I find myself standing back on the sidewalk of [REDACTED] moments later.

I’m not typically in the habit of including as many details about the dinner plans of my article subjects as I have here—and I’m certainly testing the limits of my editor’s patience with the word count—but in the spirit of Wilson’s wishes for what his coming out story will mean to the people of America, I wanted to emphasize how human his marriage is. 

Barnes and Wilson have extraordinary jobs that they are undoubtedly uniquely suited for and that most of us will never fully understand, but they are also two people who have been through a lot of hardship and found happiness and peace in one another. And that’s something that most of us do understand: love, the human experience that transcends the divisions we give ourselves.

*From a press conference Wilson gave on May 7, 2025.

**From a statement written by Barnes and issued through a S.H.I.E.L.D. representative on November 1, 2023.

For further reading on Barnes, the author recommends: 

1. Greatest Generation X: The Impossible Life of James Buchanan Barnes, by Ariel Guzman, published in 2025.

2. R.Y. Uhlencott’s column “The Wolf of Brooklyn” in the October 2024 issue of Time covers the basic timeline and trajectory of Barnes’s life.

[introvertguide]

Bonnie and Clyde (1967); AFI #42

The next film that we covered for the group was the period true- crime drama, Bonnie and Clyde (1967). It is the story of the notorious Barrow gang, led by Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker, during the American Great Depression. This film features a cavalcade of some of Hollywood's biggest actors including Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, and Gene Hackman. It is supposedly quite accurate because some of the witnesses and even a couple of the gang members of the actual crimes were still alive during the production of the film. Actress Estelle Parsons won Best Supporting Actress for he portrayal of Blanche Barrow, which I would like to comment on. I also want to speak a little to the accuracy of the story, but first I want to spoil the plot of the film.

SPOILER WARNING!!!! I AM GOING TO REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE SO I CAN COMPARE TO WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT THE ACTUAL HISTORY!!! THE MOVIE AND THE REAL LIFE STORY WILL BE SPOILED COMPLETELY!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the middle of the Great Depression, Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) and Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway) of Texas meet when Clyde tries to steal the car belonging to Bonnie's mother. Clyde had spotted Bonnie hanging out in her room naked from the heat, and she spotted him watching her and was intrigued by the danger. Bonnie is bored by her job as a waitress, which Clyde correctly guesses, and decides to take up with him and become his partner in crime. They pull off some weak crimes including a bank heist at a location that has been hit by the depression and there is no money. Clyde actually makes the teller come out to the escape car and tell Bonnie what the deal is and she just laughs at the situation.

The pair find an extra man in a worldly ignorant but mechanically inclined gas station attendant named C.W. Moss (Michael Pollard). Clyde apparently has a way with words because people just join him for no real reason besides being bored. Clyde's older brother Buck (Gene Hackman) and his wife, Blanche (Estelle Parsons), a preacher's daughter, also join them. The two women dislike each other at first sight because Bonnie thinks that Blanche will ruin their fun (she does) and Blanche believes that Bonnie is evil and wants to get rid of her (she does). Keep in mind while watching this that Estelle Parsons won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for this portrayal.

Bonnie and Clyde turn from pulling small-time heists to robbing banks since they now have a full gang. Their exploits also become more violent when C.W. comically botches a bank robbery when he sees an open parking spot and decides to parallel park. He can't get out of the space quickly and he delays their escape, forcing Clyde to shoot the bank manager in the face when he jumps onto the slow-moving car's running board. The gang is pursued by law enforcement, including Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Denver Pyle), whom they capture and humiliate by taking his photo and setting afloat on a little dingy on a nearby river.

The group likes to switch out cars because they treat the getaway vehicles very rough. When they are seen stealing a car by its owner, a young man named Eugene Grizzard (Gene Wilder) and his girlfriend Velma Davis (Evans Evans), the robbed couple attempt to follow the stolen car. The gang stops and takes the couple hostage in the chase car and even pull over to get some burgers. They let the couple go when they find out they are in their 30s (too old apparently) and find a roadside stop. A raid later that night catches the outlaws off guard, mortally wounding Buck with a shot to his head and injuring Blanche so she can't see. Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. barely escape alive. With Blanche sightless and in police custody, Hamer tricks her into revealing C.W.'s name, which they use to find any safe places where the remaining gang might go (until then, C.W. was only an "unidentified suspect").

Hamer locates Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. hiding at the house of C.W.'s father Ivan (Dub Taylor), who thinks the couple have corrupted his son (as evidenced by an ornate tattoo that Bonnie convinced C.W. to get). The elder Moss strikes a bargain with Hamer: in exchange for leniency for the boy, he helps set a trap for the outlaws. When Bonnie and Clyde stop on the side of the road to help Mr. Moss fix a flat tire, the police in the bushes open fire and riddle them with bullets. Hamer and his posse come out of hiding and look pensively at the couple's bodies as a nearby flock of swallows fly away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This film stood out as it was a comical version of the super violent gangster films that were popular in the 30s. Storywriters David Newman and Robert Benton wanted to punch up the violence with a romantic undertone so they sent the script to French New Wave director Francois Truffaut for contributions. Warren Beatty was visiting Paris and heard about the project then decided he wanted to produce the picture. He was going to have his sister, Shirley MacLaine, play the roll of Bonnie until he decided that he was going to play the part of Clyde. That would have been really awkward, so he tried find a lead actress that he could have a romantic scene with. Many actresses were approached and Faye Dunaway was eventually chosen for the part.

Beatty decided that they needed an American director and offered that job to a plethora of established directors in Hollywood and finally landed on Arthur Penn even after he turned down the position multiple times. What it all comes down to is that not a lot of people wanted to be part of this production. It was considered somewhat of a risky art film at the time because of the questionable sexuality of Clyde and the heavy violence.

So what was so risky? Looking at films that were made only a few later, this seems rather tame. This film came out just a little before the MPAA was established and the writers had been influenced by the French films that didn't have the same restrictive film rules that were present in the United States. It was originally proposed that Clyde be played as bisexual, but the script eventually called for him to be more asexual. The real Clyde Barrow had been sexually assaulted in prison so he would have been scarred by that experience and might not have been interested in Bonnie in that way. This depth into a character's sexuality had generally been avoided in American cinema before this film and there was concern about audience reactions. They shouldn't have worried because the movie was a sleeper hit, eventually making $75 million on a $2.5 million budget.

The number of graphic murders actually shown on screen (especially when Clyde shot a guy in the face who jumped on the car during a get away) was unprecedented at the time. There was also some dismay by critics about the portrayal of Bonnie as sleazy and the whole gang as somewhat stupid. These were a bunch of uneducated folks that grew up in a time when it was more important to find a job. They were smart enough to avoid capture for years, which is shown in the movie, so they had to have some sort of intelligence.

There is a little bit of an elephant in the room with this movie and it involves the historical accuracy. The dates and crimes are well documented and a lot was known about the characters when the movie was produced. However, a major part of the movie was speculation and fabrication about the personalities in the gang. The characters that were based on living people at the time were actually the least accurate as C.W. Moss was a fictional person based on two different gang members (one who was still alive) and the actions of Blanche Barrow were based on a different member of the gang. The real Blanche Barrow lived until the 1980s and famously complained that Parsons's portrayal "made [her] look like a screaming horse's ass!" Parsons is the one the went on to win Best Supporting Actress.

This film was much more enjoyable for me on second watch. The first viewing left me hating the character of Blanche and I wondered if there was some sort of conspiracy to get that actress an Oscar. On second view, I realize that she was necessary to be a foil to the gang. There had to be a weak link in the chain and the audience knew that she would be the downfall of the group. Her presence made the police encounters all the more intense because there was this crazy wild card that could ruin everything at any time. It really adds a touch of comedy along with a bigger element of suspense. She is annoying, but enjoyable, and the people around her react to her behavior in a realistic way, so I appreciate what the character brings to the table.

I would highly suggest looking into the real life of Bonnie and Clyde along with the whole Barrow Gang because they took major advantage of the Great Depression banks, but not so much the suffering people. To some, the members of the Barrow gang were considered celebrities or even heroes because they were getting back at the banks that had mishandled so many people's money. I started my search off with this nice article on the Encyclopedia Britannica site and dug deeper to find out more about the connections between the real people and the film:

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Bonnie-and-Clyde-American-criminals

So does this film belong on the AFI top 100? I absolutely think so. It has some connections to French New Wave, but it is American directed with American actors and it tells the story of some of the most notorious criminals in American history. It is also a very good film that won Oscars and was a box office success. Bonnie and Clyde are part of Americana and were almost the equivalent of a Robin Hood character to many at the time. Would I recommend this film? I would. Keep an eye out for the Blanche character because she can be annoying, but know she serves a purpose and the movie is not all about her. The connection between Bonnie and Clyde is epic and has influenced a lot of American films, so enjoy it for the cinematic quality, the history in film, and the history of the United States.

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

So... I was kinda disappointed with Buck Begins... NOT ENTIRELY. Just...

Major spoilers ahead. You should definitely watch the episode before reading my complaints... because I have a lot of them, and you shouldn't have the negative thoughts going into it...

But I'm gonna start with the good stuff.

The Buckley Siblings are everything to me. I love their relationship, and watching Buck grow up with Maddie protecting him? *chef's kiss* Perfection.

Buck being a daredevil because it was the only time that he got positive attention from his parents as a child? Absolutely heartbreaking and I hate his parents for *so much* for that.

Maddie doing whatever she could to help her baby brother, even when she was terrified and probably knew how bad it was going to get? I love her with my whole heart.

And I absolutely love the way they highlighted their relationship and how important Maddie is to Buck.

The moment when the team comes in to help Buck and save him and the other person? Cinematic excellence, I applaud them for that scene. His team loves him and will always have his back, and he *knows* that now.

And now for my grievances and where I think they missed the target...

It focused on Maddie too much for a "Buck Begins" episode. I get that she's a huge part of his life and that she would be in the childhood flashbacks, but even once Buck was out on his own, all we got to see were the postcards (with handwriting that did not look At All like Buck's handwriting, might I add) and the one scene of Buck bartending in Peru where he decided to move to LA and become a firefighter.

We already basically got a Maddie Begins episode, when Doug came back and kidnapped her. I didn't need another one. (I love Maddie and I loved the flashbacks, but... it just should have focused more on Buck. It was his episode, after all.)

We should have gotten to actually *see* what Buck did with his life before he made it to LA. They could have shown Maddie receiving a postcard, then done a montage with a shot of Buck writing one of the postcards. That montage focused more on Maddie than it did on Buck, which kind of frustrated me.

And then in present day? They made such a big deal about the family secret, and it just fizzled out. Like it didn't matter anymore. And I honestly don't see them doing much more with it, unless (God forbid) in a later season the Madney baby gets leukemia or something and Buck is a perfect match to save his niece. (Actually I could see them doing that and I would definitely cry. That would maybe give them a pass with this plot thread.)

Then with the factory fire? Idk, it didn't feel intense enough for me. NOT that I wanted Buck to horribly suffer more, but... Eddie being buried alive in his episode was So Much More Intense. Chimney's episode happened while he was literally bleeding nearly to death. I was hoping for more.

And maybe it has something to do with the lack of reaction from the entire team when the building exploded. Not only did we not see Eddie panic, even briefly, about Buck being trapped, we didn't see Bobby or Chimney of Hen panic either! Bobby sees Buck as a son, this is basically canon now. And Chimney and Hen see him as their little brother.

The exploding ladder truck and the tsunami both felt way more intense for Buck than the factory fire in this episode.

And then to top it off, NOBODY GAVE BUCK A HUG AFTER THR FACTORY FIRE! And Eddie and Chimney weren't even there by the ambulance! Like, what the fuck? Yes, Bobby, Athena, and Hen told him what he needed to hear, but they all should have been there! Supporting him! Where were they???

Also, they missed the perfect opportunity to casually make Buck canonically bisexual. Instead of meeting a girl who taught him how to surf, he could have met a guy. Then things didn't work out, just like they didn't with the girl.

UGH, these writers! They're either *really* amazing or *really* miss the important stuff... there was so much potential, and they just wasted it!

Anyway, enough of my ranting. I did enjoy the episode, but it was definitely not the best Begins episode in my opinion.

What are your thoughts? I clearly have too many.

-Quarantine Anon

So I just finished watching. Spoilers beneath the cut

So here’s what I knew going into this- everyone was going wild with theories and ideas and great fics of what was going to play out. Which is great. But I do think it got hyped up because of that.

The flashbacks to the Buckley childhood hurt so much. Margaret seemed to take it out on Evan so much because in her eyes- he failed her by not saving Daniel. BEGONE, Margaret! You can’t put that on your child if your own plan was to use the child to save a sibling and then deem him not deserving of love because of nature and genetics. But Maddie and Buck? I love a pair of siblings while being in agony over the hells they’ve walked through.

The use of ‘So Far’ and the team helping him? Poetic cinema. I felt so many emotions and had a bit of a cry.

I actually liked the postcards. I think if they had gone to film all of what he did, it would have gotten jammed packed. The bartender was stated in canon, so that felt worthy of a flashback (and oh wow, that was not the revelation I needed that I try to know cool things to impress cute people. Buck is not straight, I don’t care what anyone says). Plus, with Covid-19, I bet there would be some filming issues. Also, it felt the ups and downs in Buck’s postcards paralleled Maddie’s injuries from Doug. They were both lost thinking they were living, except they weren’t. It was all about survival. And the worst part is that sometimes, you will lull yourself into a sense that survival=living when that’s not the case. That’s what happened to the Buckleys I think.

We don’t know what’s to come, but the family secret might come up again in therapy. Which they better freaking continue and not drop like the Flash did.

On the factory fire- I think we hyped it up more than we expected. Eddie Begins and Chimney Begins were really serious episodes with their lives on the line. And I think about Buck talking about giving up after he gets out. He wasn’t going into this fire with a clear head. I think he saw himself as the replacement baby still who couldn’t ever live up, who couldn’t do things right. He wouldn’t leave despite ordered because that was showing Saleh he didn’t matter. To Buck, he did. He gets being left behind and in those situations, you’d rather someone else be happier and fine while you take the impact. Like the world would keep turning and everyone would be fine (eventually) after you left it.

The ladder truck and tsunami were physical pain. The factory fire was emotional pain. (which reminds me, I need to make a post about the element symbolism in Begins episodes)

If we didn’t see a hug in the episode, then we write the fic for it. Missing scenes can be created ;) Not to mention they’ve all still got work to get done on the scene. After events like that, I think everyone needed time to process it.

I get bisexual vibes off Buck big time in this episode. And I think there is repression and closeting that comes into play here. Your parents are constantly disappointed in you, so why disappoint them further? Bury it down deep and deeper who you really are. It was the attention-seeking that would work out for him. Also, bisexuality is more than one. You identify as bi and your partner uses she/her? Bi. Partner uses he/his? BI. Partner uses them/they? Still bi. (Also, how much do we know about the postcards he wrote. Maybe he didn’t give her the full story. There’s only so much room in a postcard and she was the one person in the world who still believed in him. Was he afraid to disappoint her?)

Overall, I did enjoy the episode. Eddie Begins always holds a special place in my heart as the first ever episode of 911 I saw enough of to get me interested in the show. The thing is that I can’t pit the Begins episodes against each other. They all show a journey in some way. 

Hopefully this was coherant enough and I’m sorry for my little bisexual rant.

[sevensoulmates]

Eddie reaction to Abby I found interesting because obviously he never met her but more the fact it was Eddie who told Bobby that he was abby fiaince when he said about working on the outside of the trian because I feel like it was the first time Eddie didn't trust bucks ability to do his job and think clearly(I feel like buck would said about the outside of the trian anyway because he always want to save everyone)

What do you think about eddies reactions to Abby and buck from the train crash, cause personally I feel like even if buck didn't know that Sam was abby finance he would still have tried to save both risking the train falling on him and yet Eddie basically told bobby to try to stop buck

So I’m gonna put these two asks together since they’re pretty similar. Strap in, this is gonna get long and analytical.

First of all, I think the choice to make Eddie be so prominent in these scenes between Buck and Abby was deliberate. There is only one time when Buck and Abby are talking that Eddie is not physically there watching everything. The whole rest of the time Eddie is there in every frame, every shot, and even gets close ups of his reactions. 

I think about the choices they make when choosing which characters will be in each scene. Because as we’ve seen before, they are willing to switch out certain characters to change the tone/impact of a scene. For example, we have Hen and Eddie being switched out for Karaoke with Albert, because (in my opinion) the writers felt that having Chim’s best friend Hen be the one singing karaoke with his brother would hurt Chimney MORE than just Eddie singing with Albert. Now the reason I point out switching characters, is because if the overall point of the Abby/Buck reunion was to make the other characters worry specifically about if Buck will continue his work professionally or if he will let his emotions affect him (ie. risking his life), who is the best character to get that reaction from? In my opinion, Bobby. We see it later on, but Bobby is the one who makes the decisions on if Buck can/cannot work as a firefighter any longer. The person Buck needs to prove he can be professional and put his emotions aside to is Bobby. Bobby is the reason we had the entire lawsuit storyline and Bobby is the one who can’t put aside his fatherly feelings for Buck and let him do his job. Their job literally is risking their lives to save people. 

So if they wanted the whole emotion vs. professionalism theme to be the main focus of conflict for Buck, in my opinion, the character to bring that out most would be Bobby. And yet Eddie is the one in this scene. I’ve heard people saying it had to be Eddie because he’s the only one who doesn’t know Abby. I kinda disagree mostly because I think if you had let Abby run into Bobby first, we would’ve had a whole new layer of “oh shit this is the woman who broke my adopted son’s heart” AND “Buck is going to act irrationally because Abby’s back”. Bobby would understand that implications of Abby being back on a deeper level than Eddie would (in my opinion given that Eddie never actually met nor saw any interactions between Buck/Abby). So why choose Eddie of all people to be the one who meets Abby first and have him be the one through which we as an audience are latching onto (since we are also the third party observers watching their reunion with an emotional stake). 

I think that Eddie was chosen to be the reaction conduit for multiple reasons. 1.) Eddie is Buck’s closest person other than Maddie and Bobby. Buck is a part of Eddie’s immediate family unit, and Eddie (alongside Christopher) is Buck’s person. Just like was stated in 3x16 everyone else has someone outside of work, except Buck, and even though he has Maddie, Maddie has her own person (and now will have a baby to prioritize too). The logical conclusion to who is Buck’s person/people, even without stating it within the episode, is obviously Eddie & Christopher. It’s shown throughout the entirety of this season. Eddie, Christopher and Buck have carved their own little family unit together, even if they don’t outwardly realize it yet. So who is the most at threat if Abby were to re-enter Buck’s life? Eddie. But then we get the information that Abby has a fiance and...

2.) Eddie is witnessing years of bitterness, heartbreak, confusion and betrayal wash over Buck in this moment. Buck has always been Eddie’s #1 support system with everything and now it’s Eddie’s turn to be his. Eddie recognizes that more than this being an emotional vs. professional time, that this is causing tremendous personal pain for Buck. Eddie understands that pain. He knows what it’s like to have a woman you loved come back and have to face that pain head on. But to see that that woman has completely moved on and forgotten about you? It’s a dead ringer back to 3x16 where Buck feels like everyone leaves him for bigger/better things and that he feels he’s not worth staying for. Eddie felt the exact same way with Shannon. Eddie understands Buck’s pain the most in this moment. And that’s why he’s not immediately like “hey, you gonna keep you’re head on straight and be professional about this?” but instead when Buck starts to zone out, Eddie steps in, he becomes the professional Buck needs him to be in that moment. He shields Buck bodily and only leaves when he has to. It just reminds me of when Eddie was mad at Buck for “making things all about him” and yet, in that moment, when Buck could make it about him again, instead Buck shuts down his emotions. It’s only when they’re presented with the choice of Abby’s fiance vs a stranger that it finally gets brought up again.

3.) Eddie and Abby are and have always been parallels of each other. They are/were both single people taking care of a disabled family member (Eddie & Carla’s scenes are the new Abby & Carla scenes). They both moved to escape crippling situations and found their forever families. They’re both strong-willed, cool-headed, good in a crisis, etc. They’re both people who become close to Buck very quickly. And, I’m just going to say it, they’re both the main loves Buck has had over the course of the show. Buck absolutely loves Eddie (even if it might not textually be romantic at the moment) with all his heart as seen by how he reacted to nearly losing him in 3x15, as seen by how hard he fights to be back with his team (with Eddie), how much he gives to be a partner and parental figure to Chris. This is all information we know PRIOR to knowing Abby has a fiance AND that that fiance has two kids who have become like Abby’s own kids. It’s just the most blatant and obvious parallel I’m actually shocked. Abby moved away and met a single father with kids, fell in love with him, became his fiance, and became a surrogate mother to his kids. I just...WHO DOES THAT REMIND US OF, HMM???

4.) Then we get the shift from Abby being a parallel to Eddie, to being a parallel to Buck. Eddie then becomes paralleled to the role of Abby’s fiance. Now it’s not just that Buck is fighting to save Sam because of Abby, but Buck’s fighting to save Sam because Sam is the love of Abby’s life, and they have kids who need them. Does that remind us of how hard Buck worked to make sure Eddie could go home to his son who needs him? Yes, yes, it does. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: Abby’s present is Buck’s future. Abby’s past is Buck’s present. In the scene where Abby and Buck talk post-train crash, everything Abby talks about the person she was and the place she was before leaving, is exactly who Buck is at the moment. Living life solely for the job. Putting work above himself and his relationship. Putting OTHER PEOPLE before himself always. And who Abby is now is someone who found herself, and through that found her fiance and kids who became her family. And we know that that is all Buck wants. He wants to find his people. He wants to find his family (he just doesn’t realize that he literally has it already). 

Yes, 100% Buck would’ve tried to save both of them, even if he didn’t know Sam was Abby’s fiance. But yes, knowing who Sam was and knowing Abby was waiting did color his motivations and again that’s why we have Bobby there to be like “here we go again”. Bobby could’ve been the sole voice of reason there. But instead, Eddie (once again) let’s HIS OWN FEELINGS get in the way of being professional. This time it’s Eddie who snaps, tells Bobby it’s because of Abby, and then storms off in a literal vertical train car but I digress. Eddie doesn’t just seem fed up with Buck in that moment, he seems hurt. And as we know an Eddie who feels hurt by Buck is an Eddie who lashes out. He’s hurt (and mad because Eddie Diaz has an unhealthy coping mechanism of getting mad when he gets his feelings hurt) that Buck is so willing to risk his life for someone who broke his heart. That Buck is willing to get himself killed, willing to let himself die and by extension shatter the hearts (and essentially abandon) everyone who loves him (Eddie, Chris, all of the 118, Maddie, etc). 

Eddie is mad because Buck is so willing to get himself killed (so willing to be torn from their lives) and for who? A woman who doesn’t love him anymore? A woman who has her own family and will move on with life even if Buck is not in it? No screw that, Eddie tells Bobby in the hopes that Bobby will talk him out of it, but when they just squabble Eddie has to shut that down too. Because Bobby is equally afraid of losing Buck. He’s been proving that all season. It’s the reason Buck has to pull the Athena card to try to get through to Bobby. Because at the end of the day, regardless of their familial feelings for each other, this is their job. And Bobby has to let Buck do it.

Buck actually has a good plan that could work. If Eddie had been the one to suggest this plan, I have no doubt that Bobby (and Buck) would’ve been right behind him. They’d be worried, but they would not question Eddie’s judgement. But because Bobby and Eddie are so invested in Buck emotionally, they don’t want Buck to risk his life even though that’s literally all of their freaking jobs. Now it’s Eddie’s turn and Bobby’s turn to put aside their personal feelings. Put aside their fear of losing Buck. They let him use his proven creativity and intelligence in near-impossible situations, and they let him make the risky save. And in the end, he’s right, and he saves both of them. And this proves that Buck’s heart, and his drive to save people no matter what, the way that he never gives up, makes him a better firefighter--and a better person. And it’s the reason why the people in his life love him so much. So, yes, while I think both Eddie and Bobby doubted Buck in that moment. I think Buck proved that when he is given the chance to prove himself, his head and his heart are the winning combination (this is also why I adore Oliver’s tattoo because it fits Buck’s character so well).

I think the finale was so buddie heavy, and so buddie positive despite there not being anything super concrete about their romantic relationship in the ending moments. I think we’re slowly but surely getting there, and I’m so excited to see it unfold.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Reasons/signs why buddie is likely to go canon

Hey, Nonnie! Oooo, great question, okay I've got to think about this.

I would say the main reason why Buddie is likely to go canon is because both Buck's and Eddie's stories are so intertwined, it only makes sense for them to get together. Not just as family but also romantically. They are literally the answer to what they're each looking for in a partner. Nothing else makes sense though the show has had quite a few opportunities to veer off of this course for a while now but they haven't taken them, and instead seemed to have double downed on it, getting us closer and closer to Buddie canonization.

As for signs, hmm...

Well, other than seeing Eddie pining for Buck and how much we're getting closer to that portion of the story where it will be confirmed in some way, they've given us more than a few. But I'll pick the main ones:

1) Eddie and Ana breakup - a previous nonnie mentioned how Ana is essentially the perfect woman for Eddie and I agree, she's good on paper (in season 5 at the least), which we saw being shown in that firehouse scene in 5x02. There is literally no reason for these two not to stay together (except for it not being what Eddie wants and their severe lack of chemistry/love). Christopher loves her and from what he said, he obviously expects that a marriage is in the future. She would be a good support for Eddie, she's empathetic and she's always reaching out to him and Christopher physically. She also would be a great partner, not just with Christopher, but also in certain situations like we see in the firehouse scene. She immediately took charge of the situation when it appeared Eddie wasn't going to when it came to Ravi and sort of made it a little easier until the wife mention. And then she rolls with it when Eddie asks Ravi to give her a tour so he can make his escape. She's perfect on paper. So for them to show us this, this late in the game, only to turn around and discard it soon after because it's what's triggering Eddie's panic attacks due to it not being what he wants...to me, that's a huge sign we're heading to a Buddie canonization. Especially, when Ana has been paralleled and contrasted with Buck several times during the short time of her relationship with Eddie. Especially since Buck has to be the one to tell Eddie to let Ana go and not hurt her if she's not what he wants. Especially when for a second there, it became The Buckley Diaz family vs The Flores Diaz family and we know who won out in that round in Eddie's eyes and which one he felt more at ease with.

2) The parallels - I know we always talk about these but I believe this is one of the most telling signs that we're heading to canon Buddie. Buck has been paralleled to Chim, Hen, Bobby, Athena, Karen, and of course Maddie. Eddie, the same. Not to mention, Buck and Eddie have been continuously paralleled and contrasted to the romantic partners in their lives, both past and present. With all of this foundation being built, with all of these direct parallels and contrasts, there's no way Buddie isn't going canon. They've been weaving this story way too intricately for it to be loosened or unraveled or to start weaving something new for one of the guys or both now.

3) The other relationships around Buddie - time and time again, Buddie has been linked/paralleled/connected to the other canon relationships in the show: Bathena, Henren, and Madney. Not to mention that they've done this within the context of romance, such as the 3x13 scene where Eddie asks Buck if he wants to come over. Which Buck declines and then they go about having Hen confirm she and Karen have a date night, then Bobby has one with Athena, and then Chim wants to spend the night with Maddie, so Buck ends up alone. And they've also done it a few times in framing:

You have Bathena and Henren on one side, and Madney on the other, with Buddie in between. Not only are they trying to throw strong hints at us but there's literally no reason for them to keep doing this if they didn't plan to make Buddie romantic at some point and endgame (especially when paralleled with Bathena and Henren). If they wanted to only display the deep partnership and friendship, the only relationship they should be paralleling/keep getting connected to is Chim and Hen's partnership/friendship.

4) The stand-ins - each time there seems to be some sort of separation between the two, physically or emotionally or both, they've opted to use stand-ins for both characters. The biggest examples are Lena for Eddie during the lawsuit arc (standing in for Buck), Marjan and TK in the crossover (standing in for both Buck and Eddie respectively) Ana (besides being who Eddie felt he needed to move on with, she's a stand-in for Buck in 4x14), and Taylor (standing in for Eddie in 4x14). The fact that they use stand-ins, to me, is a very big clue. These two have come to rely on each other that much that the story/writers need to provide them with stand-ins, usually in the form of women (and TK, a confirmed gay character who mistakenly thinks Buck is hitting on him at the end of the crossover). They also use smaller characters in the story to be stand-ins for Buck and Eddie as well, in certain situations (not all of them women) and aren't necessarily provided for the other character to interact with, i.e. Corey the gunman in 4x08 was a stand-in for Buck (so was Mr. Nowels), Brian the fake firefighter in 4x06 was a stand-in for Eddie, the guy Eddie beat up over the parking space in 3x05 was a stand-in for Buck, etc. To me, that's a very big tell.

5) 5x01 relationship link - they purposely showed us that there is something missing in each relationship for each guy, even though they have these seemingly perfect partners for these points in these guys' lives and where they're currently at. And it revolved around the physical. For Buck and Taylor, it was sex on the surface but had more to do with the emotional, since we saw Taylor was determined to find the answers about what happened that day than focus on Buck. For Eddie and Ana, we get a hint that their relationship has progressed physically by a comment and reaction, then we see Eddie having a panic attack, but underneath it all, he was triggered by the store clerk mistaking Ana as Christopher's mother, and there is a lot more since Dr. Salazar intimates that Eddie is repressing the anxiety aka something emotional. Not only is that a sort of vague parallel between both relationships, but it's also showing us that there is definitely something missing from both of these dynamics for both guys. (which is why it doesn't surprise me in the least that Eddie is able to talk candidly with Buck in 5x02 and vice versa)

6) Eddie and Buck only seem to be able to be truly vulnerable with one another - this to me, is just a given at this point. Not that we haven't seen Buck be vulnerable with Bobby or even Maddie (I would say Maddie and Eddie are the two people who know Buck the best out of everyone and who Buck can truly be vulnerable with, while Bobby and Buck provide that same dynamic for Eddie), but there's definitely an exclusive window into Buck that Eddie has, with and without Buck's invitation. Eddie sees Buck for who he is and vice versa. To have this unique part of their emotional relationship exist, and then it's contrasted to all of the romantic partner in their lives who can never seem to have that access, is another big sign to me. They could have kept it strictly as two friends, two partners, who just get each other, and that's that. And then eventually a romantic partner would come along for one guy or both who would after a time (and possibly approval from the other, depending how cliche and trope-y they would have wanted to get) gotten that access as well. But they didn't. They've made this vulnerability pretty much exclusive with the exception of Maddie and FireDad.

7) Show making Buckley Diaz family official through legal guardian reveal - if there was ever a big neon sign flashing (without showing us Eddie's feelings) that pointed the way to Buddie, this is it. Is it possible that two friends, two partners, two brothers, could have also had this development without any future romantic implications? Sure. But that's not how it went down. If it did, we would have had the reveal a lot sooner or happening when Eddie first woke up or happening at another time when Eddie is in danger or wounded again (like this alleged hostage situation coming up). But instead they chose this very specific timing and context of when Eddie chose to reveal this information to Buck. Because it absolutely is not about their friendship or Eddie's concern of what will happen to Chris should he not be around anymore. He doesn't even know about the crane climb (at least that we saw). But he chose to reveal it right then because Buck had said it would have been better for Chris if he had been shot. Not to mention they showed us Eddie's reaction to this line:

Eddie needed Buck to know that he matters to Christopher, to him. That he isn't expendable. And Christopher 99.9% of the time is synonymous with Eddie. And Eddie uses the mention of Christopher as a shield. The legal guardian reveal was all about Eddie, and Buck. And the show purposely chose to put it in this context and within this dynamic and timing when they didn't have to, in order to keep the lines clear. Instead, they double-downed on the Buckley Diaz family and how it would lead us into the next season, and how it would affect these two specifically, whether that be the dynamic at work or outside of it or both.

There are many other signs but these are the top 7 off of the top of my head. Buddie's going canon. There's no two ways about it. And while the relationship may not happen instantly, a conversation (and realization) is definitely due to happen this season. Eddie's feelings are all but glaringly obvious enough that they're written in Sharpie on his forehead and I don't see how Buck can remain oblivious to this fact much longer (or to his own feelings), whether that's him seeing it himself or someone else pointing it out to him.

I hope I was able to answer your question thoroughly, Nonnie! Thank you for the ask! Hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend!!! <3