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☀️ 4.05 -> 3.12 ☀️

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unpopular buddie opinion of the day is that of the two of them buck is the one who's actually almost pathologically self-reliant

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9-1-1 | Season 8, Episode 5, ‘Masks’

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I remember reading a post where the op said Buck never had a chance to do any fun kid stuff as a kid so he's getting his chance with Christopher mostly. But imagine Chris being a teenager now doesn't want to do that stuff anymore and it makes Buck depressed because HE was low key looking forward to doing it and it'll seem weird for a fully grown adult to do em.

But Buck doesnt have any other kid to go spend time and have fun at festivals or museums and family time stuff with because if he mentions it to Maddie then she's like "that sounds like fun!" And goes and does it with Chim and her kids.

So yes Buck gets depressed a little. Its only when Denny mentions it to Chris in a game chat like "dude can you hang out with Buck a little more cause hes over here trying to offer my mom's his babysitting services.

Chris complains because he doesn’t want to be treated like a baby and he thinks Buck is still treating him like one.

Then Denny shares the conversation he overheard between the adults. Where Buck was sad because he wanted to spend time with Chris and do some cool activities he found but he thinks Chris is too old to hang out with Buck now. He also doesn't want to embarrass him either. Buck says he knows he gets too much sometimes. And its not fun to do family type of activities on your own and its apparently frowned upon.

"Are you upset that you cant do that type of stuff anymore?" Hen asks carefully.

"No. Sorta? Im just...i dont know. I get the family stuff is supposed to be done with family so I get that Maddie and Jee and Robbie and Chim are doing it, and you and your kids. I guess im just jealous because I...don't have a family to get to do those things," Buck says. He chuckles. "I guess I just need to tone it down a little huh? Maddie did say I need to learn to be by myself more."

"Like you hadn't already been by yourself for nearly a decade." Hen says.

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buck had to ask competition with who because to him eddie genuinely isn’t an option. and not just in the ‘he’s a renter. and he’s straight.’ way but also eddie’s in his own special little box in buck’s mind that he can’t be in a competition with anyone because he’s part of a seperate game. it’s the same way that when eddie gets bailed out of jail he tells bosko that he couldn’t call his team or buck. there’s a seperatation there. there’s different kind of specialness that they place on the other that they haven’t defined properly yet beyond he’s my best friend.

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Part of why I think Eddie finds it so easy to be a partner to Buck when it was difficult with Shannon is because he doesn’t yet see (or is in denial of) Buck as a romantic possibility. But when he and Buck do get together, I wonder if he’ll revert to bad habits. Once it’s a capital-R Relationship, will he return to his Provider Mentality? Is he going to start making decisions without looping Buck in? Maybe he starts taking extra shifts to put away more money, and then signs them up for home viewings on their days off, and Buck’s like, “We’re moving?” And Eddie’s like, “Well, we need more space.” And Buck’s like, “Why? I think we’re doing fine.” And Eddie says, “So we have room to grow.” And Buck gets all big-eyed and a little panicky and is like, “Grow?” And Eddie’s like, “Well yes, obviously you’ll be wanting more kids.” And maybe Buck does, maybe he doesn’t, but the fact that Eddie never even talked to him about it freaks him out, so he snaps a little, and they end up fighting about something they both ultimately do (probably maybe) want solely because Eddie never actually communicated with Buck about it.

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the eddie diaz in texas arc we all made up in our heads was so beautiful

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even after bobby died buck was willing to let eddie go again no matter how bad he hated it um. 😃 hey lets all jump

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the fact that eddie wants and expects buck to read his mind re: feelings he can't or won't express is imo extremely well-documented, but to me the messier and more interesting thing about it is that eddie is also supremely confident of his ability to read buck's mind and predict his next move, and, well. especially recently, he hasn't actually been very good at that.

like, he tends to approach a lot of potential conflicts or emotionally difficult conversations as, 'well, i don't have to ask how buck feels or what he thinks about this, because i already know', and then he ends up blindsided and almost betrayed when buck-in-real-life doesn't respond the way buck-in-his-head did.

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Baby can do a little a cocaine, as a treat

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Another reason why I like the idea of a hypothetical storyline where buck starts pulling away from eddie and eddie absolutely loses his mind is that it would present a situation where eddie is forced to confront how his whole deal with buck looks from the outside

Like I’m imagining a situation where he’s talking to a Neutral Third Party (could be any number of people) and he’s like I don’t get why he’s moving out. I figured that after everything that’s happened we’d just stay together. Like, I had this idea in my mind that it would just be the three of us—me, buck, and chris—in that house from here on out. And like, yeah, eventually Chris will go to college, and then it would just be us, together, indefinitely.

And the Neutral Third Party is like, oh, so like a romantic relationship/marriage?

And eddie’s like wait. no wait. hold up. wait. oh.

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poor gurathin has against his will realized that he vibes with murderbot perfectly, immediately saw it heroically die in the explosion, then saw it get stolen and destroyed by the corprim, did a monumentally dangerous thing without a backup to bring it back, brought it back, and was extremely visibly excited to have somebody on presaux to roll his eyes in unison with. like he loves them all, but murderbot also turned out to speak his language, and hoo boy did he miss that.

he was So Excited to show murderbot the ropes, omg. so soft and sleepy and happy and offering to share and re-experience the best ever thing that happened to him to somebody who would get just how weird and miraculous and amazing it was.

and then, oooof. oh man, the actors were SO GOOD. like two lines of dialogue to convey murderbot haltingly grapple with its own understanding of its wants and needs; and gurathin's accepts that and, essentially, blesses it to go. amazing.

(mensah is still murderbot's favorite human. but those two are going to be a menace to society when murderbot, grown into its own skin, will come back home.)

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Lowkey it would be fun to play with the idealised at a narrative level love interest trope, like Buddie fic in which Eddie is so supportive and articulates and validates all Buck's innermost feelings without him needing to explain himself and wants exactly what Buck wants and at first it's played straight and Buck is just enjoying it but then the slow realisation that Eddie would not react like this, that he knows Eddie would disagree about that, that this isn't the real Eddie, it's another coma dream.

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Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don't actually think Shannon and Buck would've gotten along, let alone become friends. Peace and love.

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Imagine a James Bond/Spy type of au, where Buck is traveling a lot of places and he manages to get lucky and travel the world as well. He also sleeps around too. One night he comes across a man visiting the bar he works. He flirts and says if he really wants to have a good time then to come back after the place closes. To Buck's surprise the man shows up and Buck then sleeps with the man with beautiful brown doe eyes. They spend a few days together fucking and making love. He gets caught up in the dangerous world of spies when he inevitably gets kidnapped when they mistook Buck for being his husband cause he and the spy's kid look alot alike.

"You must think we're fools, Mr..." the guy pulls out Bucks passport. "Ah, here it is. Evan Buckley. Cute name." The guy waves his gun around. He walks up and grips Bucks jaw tight. He forces Buck’s head to the side, getting a good look at him. "Little Evan, don't you look so sweet, hm? Not to mention your son looks just like you. Genetic lottery."

"L-look I don't have any money on me or drugs, a-and I didn’t see anything at all i swear I just work at the bar and I just travel around." Buck stutters. He pauses, confusion washing over him. "W-wait what? W-what are you talking about."

"Ohh, no no. No lying. We already have your son thanks to his babysitter. And we have been keeping an eye on you and your husband meeting up. Your love making is sweet. Passionate." The man purrs out, giving Buck a hungry look. "Alas, we are working on a short schedule. Do not worry. Your son is in good care, and so long as you cooperate he will remain in good care, Is that understood?"

Buck doesn't give a fast enough response and hisses when the guy behind him keeping his arms pinned yanks a fist full of Buck's hair and shakes his head. "Answer," the man behind him grunts.

"I-" Buck doesnt know what's going on at all, but he knows if he doesn't cooperate at all, a kids life is on the line. "I understand."

The man in front of him smirks and pats Buck’s cheek. "Good," he says and gestures to the other men with guns. "Take him to the boat and burn everything."

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like okay. look. there is in fact zero evidence either way that buck liked or disliked the fact that tommy called him evan. as in, it was never specifically stated. but "buck never corrected him" is not a convincing argument for "liked it" or (even more of a reach) "loved it" on account of literally everything about buck. not just his tendency to fall into the same people-pleasing patterns and identity problems. but everything that the show has established about buck as a name. as a chosen name. as one of the few things that is his. like. buck as an identity is so central and important to buck as a character. because it's one he chose for himself and no one else. and significantly it's what the family that is his that he chose for himself call him. and the thing about buck with tommy is that. well. buck lost his grip on his identity somewhere in the idea of tommy. he hinges his sexuality on tommy. doesn't examine it any further than tommy. he also just, doesn't correct tommy on his interests. lets tommy keep believing they're into the same things. even though he is Not interested in the things tommy is. which in part leads to. the lakers tickets. six months later and tommy still thinks buck loves basketball. which he Hates btw. and well, he lets tommy call him evan. and like, also throughout all of this, tommy is on the fringes, shown consistently to be on the outside of the family buck chose, at odds with who buck is. buck never lets him in. because there is a part of buck that knows that there is something not right here, that tommy is dating a version of him that doesn't even really exist. and well ultimately tommy realises this too. when he calls him buck only when breaking up with him.

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4.09 // buck & jee-yun 8.12 // buck & eddie