#And I feel like its been happening a lot and don't wanna bother the same 3 friends

[foxgirlmoth]

Aw lads not again

[pluralthey]

what steps do you go through to draw in your current style? do you have any pointers about it? its absolutely one of my favorites

i'm not sure if i think of my process in steps. in my head, i'm just straightforwardly drawing the shapes the characters are made of at angles that look right and building on that... luckily, i stream when i draw every day, so i have a ton of videos of myself drawing. example:

i haven't bothered to upload a lot of the modern streams to youtube because my video editor can't handle editing 4-8 hour files even if i'm speeding them up and technically making them shorter because of the way video editors interact with files, and the freeware i use isn't able to make proxy files. the act of downloading and editing and combing through all the footage is a ton of time and memory space and it's just not what people are usually looking for from me, so it's not where i wanna put my time.

but that's neither here nor there. what i mean to say is these vods are really long. so you don't want to rawdog those. but you can just download a video speed controller extension to your browser and it's extremely easy to cruise through the backlog of vods at ~15x speed.

i've gone ahead and highlighted some of the recent videos to separate the chaff from the wheat. i tend to take long breaks to eat or walk my dog so there are big periods of Nothing Happening. i'll try to skim some more and do the same. unfortunately, i don't have any good videos of me coloring, since twitch deletes vods after like a month, and i've just been focusing on sketching.

but yeah, in general, it really depends on how good i'm feeling on a given day -- sometimes i will sketch multiple times for just one panel and sometimes i won't sketch at all. i use paint tool sai 2 and a pixel brush usually 2 pixels wide with no pen pressure. for comics, i have 1 layer for the panel borders, 1 layer for the sketch, 1 layer for the lines, 1 layer for the colors, 1 layer for the text, and 1 layer speech bubbles. sometimes there are special effects that overlap borders and need their own special layers. when i start sketching a new panel, i will usually put it on its own new layer, and sometimes for multiple characters i will put them on another new layer at a different opacity. this is mostly to move them around without constant cleanup. once i've gotten a sketch pretty finished, i merge all of the layers into the sketch layer. the line layer is usually just the sketch layer cleaned up and paint bucket tooled black. but basically, the vast majority of my time working on art is spent trying to fix small things like tangents, fitting speech bubbles into panels, thinking about how to lay out a page, checking continuity interaction with other pages, that kind of stuff. the complex technical parts of the process are to save time on those in ways i can without compromising quality. the other portion of working on the art is like "step 1: draw head circle (or jessie head diamond). step 2: draw the rest of the owl." i don't know if this was helpful at all y_y if you want more pointers i might be able to offer clarity on more specific questions!

[colourful-void]

[truly off the charts levels of aitsf nirvana initiative spoilers]

some thoughts on mizuki date and mizuki kuranushi

the whole timeline switch thing is admittedly: cool as fuck. love it conceptually. its neat as hell. in practice i think it required some of the game to be a bit... strained in logic and perhaps if we were less committed to clone Mizuki and some other aspects it would feel a little less like we had to rob Mizuki (Date) as a character to make it work.

I can explain why i feel this way:

Don't get me wrong, its set up really really well in a lot of places. i see now which is awesome. the set up isn't so much the problem, there definitely could've been a bit more in the set up but overall it's solid.

my problem is that, in order to make this work, Mizuki and Bibi need to be functionally indistinguishable from each other not just in appearance but in personality. NOW there are key differences I noted which was very good!!! I did see this, i just think like, the fundamental concept means they have to be significantly more similar than they are dissimilar and that makes for....

Okay like:

Mizuki and Bibi having the same scooter? Fantastic, it's mentioned early on that's abis provided, of course they're the same. having the same gun, sure even, it might be a 'mizuki custom' but if we assume mizuki date didn't actually care that much about her gun's specifics I totally see boss replicating the first one. I'm sure bibi would've wanted that too. Having the same PIPE is bothering me. Because now we're verging into some nature over nurture territory.

Mizuki Date loved that pipe when she was 12, it's something she picked up afaik after coming to live with date even, bcs she didn't have it when she was getting bullied in school. Her having one makes sense. But bibi has a pipe, seemingly because... Mizuki has one.

So then, was it a unique choice Mizuki made when she was younger, or does 'being mizuki' mean predestined to wield a pipe? (i can also see Bibi like, watching over mizuki and deciding she also wants a pipe but that's only slightly better because it's still externally denying the characters individuality) [A minor way of adjusting this could be having Mizuki Date only ever use the pipe, and Bibi only ever use the Evolver.]

There are some good moments of them being different i can recall off hand, bibi talking about her younger sister (mizuki) for example, to shoma, etc. but like. 90% of the time you're not supposed to be able to tell them apart. So they think the same way, and act the same way, and when you're playing a game literally in the brain of a character its hard to even pass off as just, presentation or a front. and i wanna be clear i know there are minor differences.

Bibi doesn't react to Date's appearance in the warehouse (because she didn't know him like Mizuki Date, but also looking back since that was in the past like, Mizuki Date wouldn't have reacted either.), I think there's a little difference in how bibi and mizuki treat boss, maybe? But since mizuki is still playing around with boss and giving her puppy dog eyes in the first investigation scene when That's Mizuki Date and not Bibi, it doesn't quite land.

Because the small pool of people who actually know, Ryuki and Boss and all have to TREAT Mizuki Date and Bibi basically identical for this to work. And again, you can stretch it. Boss is trying to maintain professionalism, etc. But it's another layer of them being... basically the same.

Mainly, my biggest problem is less everyone else and how Mizuki Date and Bibi think and act.

Mizuki Date and Bibi are allegedly two different characters. They're given two different backstories, and lived two very different lives. Despite that, aside from a few minor hints and character quirks, they behave and interact indistinguishably from each other. And that kind of cheapens both of them as people.

Like, we just had this whole game that had everyone saying "if this hadn't happened, if my father hadn't been killed, if this child hadn't been kidnapped, if So Sejima had just kicked it at 20, maybe none of this would've happened, life could've been so different" and then also showed us 'Even if your life was extremely different you would still think and act exactly the same'.

TC-PERGE and alcoholism was a huge part of it, but the cited reason for a lot of Ryuki's behaviour is the trauma right?? Like it comes up multiple times, but the unique traumas that both Mizuki's faced? I guess impacted them exactly the same. or not at all, in Mizuki date's case because we never get proper resolution on the whole 'you were adopted and then your adopted parents couldn't or wouldn't raise you properly so gave you off to Date, who then disappeared." i'm still entirely unclear on who was the guardian of this 12 year old child after that.

TLDR

i think a lot of this twist is really cool conceptually, i'm on board with a lot of it. But in practice, Bibi and Mizuki are only different characters because of their wildly different backstories. They think and act identically, despite having such different circumstances which should lead to different thoughts and actions. In a game where the final Somnium ends in a long chain of "What ifs" where it's characters ask if they could've lived differently had just a few things been different, the central characters appear to demonstrate that no, they wouldn't.

and that kinda bums me out.

[chunkymamatam]

Hi! It's me again lol and I'm back with questions. Please feel free to answer the questions you want to answer only, and don't feel as if you have to answer any or all. This is mostly a twst related ask btw:)

How did it feel to you? (aka just what went through your mind when you first shifted to twisted wonderland) and do you do the same thing/method every time you shift? I know that I always affirm and that's what I enjoy the most and feel like progress is being made whether I shift or not, it's just calming to me hehe.

Is the food good? Do you have any favorite foods that aren't in this reality but are in twst? Oh and of course the opposite as well, anything you don't like.

With it being a college version is anything particularly different?

Is there anyone you enjoy hanging out with more? I know I want to go to twisted wonderland because it seems fun(though stressful too) but also cause I really like Floyd and want to be around him. So if you can say anything about how he is or acts around you or others that would be wonderful to hear about.

Last question! Is there anything you suggest to script or at least prepare for in regards to shifting to twisted wonderland? I know the overblot situations will be stressful, but this is mostly like general things such as the ghosts don't bother you too much, Crowley gives you money, etc. Thank you in advance for your response!

Sorry For only responding now, I've been having a really bad time with my mental health.

That's a great question. It's dizzying tbh. It's like being yoinked from your physical body, spun on a wheel then yeeted back into physicality. I don't really use a method but yeah I do the same thing every night unless I get it in my ass to actually try a method lol

The food is delicious. I'm the kind of autism to not try anything I'm not familiar with unless I'm either forced to or in the adventurous mood and that has not happened yet. I wonder if Idia has the Miku Ramen now that I'm thinking about weird food

Yeah its definitely different than High School lmfao some classes mix years, there's a sound to signify the change of classes but it's not like it rules when you're dismissed also they're a lot more lenient when it comes to things like going to the bathroom. also this one is important as a disabled person, get this, they actually listen to you when you say you need something health wise. Crazy right? /s It's nice honestly. Like yeah some profs are harder on you than others but at the end of the day they'd prefer you to take care of your health and not die.

Tbh my favorite people to hang out with are the Octavinelle Trio(I work at the lounge), Leona, Vil, and Malleus. They're great honestly.

I definitely suggest you script you can't die from the overblots because that shit is more than stressful they will literally try to take you out. Also that Sam gives you his best deals because fuck man. he's great but he's breaking my bank. If you wanna join the SDC Make sure you script that either Vil/Rook see potential or you're decent at singing and dancing(lest you already have that talent, in that case slay honestly )

[jemmo]

ok i was too exhausted to talk about i hear the sunspot last week so now i have 2 weeks worth of ranting saved up and i can feel the tidal wave coming.

edit: i had to add a read more bc this turned into the messiest, most tangent-filled rant. tl;dr idk i just like it

and first off i wanna semi-respond to some discussion ive seen around the show with regards to pacing, that its slow, its frustrating etc. and the extent of my response is... yeah. well, not just yeah. its not that i agree or disagree, its more that i dont have a way to respond that is unbiased or removed from my personal opinion bc i love the show a lot. if i totally detached and looked at it, yeah, maybe i'd think that way. god knows ive said the same thing for many, many other shows and funnily enough its usually one of my least favourite things. at least, i thought it was, but now that i think about it...

ok this is gonna be a tangent but ive now been watching bl and been in the bl space for over 3 years (wow, how did that happen?) and i think its really interesting to think about, and i'd love to hear from others as well, how my taste in bl has changed. what i like, what i dont like, what i value in a show and how much i am willing to invest in or engage with a show. before i got to bl, i was very much looking for bl content. even when i was younger, i was always trying to find queer content and it was usually european, and then in my anime phase i watched all the bl anime, and that led me to cherry magic blah blah you dont need to know the rest. but at that point i was very much hungry to just see queerness on screen. and i mean explicit queerness, not necessary sexual, just like dating and kissing and explicit same sex relationships. and i think in that haze and the height of hyperfixation i watched many shows that i probably wouldnt have the patience to now. i watch a lot less bl now, maybe bc im more busy with work, maybe bc bl is actually getting worse idk, or maybe i just dont have the effort the engage with something when i dont like it, or it just doesnt interest me. and speaking of what i do and don't like, i feel like this lack of patience has also come with this gradual change in what i want for the show. i know bl now, i know its out there, i know more and more is being made every year, im not in short supply of explicit queerness anymore. so now i can be more picky. if i find myself getting bored watching a show, i just wont watch it. and also bc ive been watching bl for years now, i feel like i am developing what my taste in bl is, and thats not exactly something i can describe, for me its more a i know it when i see it kinda thing. thats why i try a lot of shows out but am happy to drop them after a couple of eps when i know i dont vibe with them.

and with shows i dont drop, they usually fall into 2 categories; im actually enjoying it or im just waiting around to see where this goes. and to call myself out, bc of all these things i think it means that im... well, not less critical, but less able to be unbiased when watching a show i do like, bc hey this is the one show out of 10 going on this month that im obsessed with, of course im not gonna be critical of it. and thats not to say i should be critical of i hear the sunspot, more that im not bc my bias and taste just makes me like it. all the things people think are its flaws that i see with other shows, i just dont see, or dont care about, bc i just like it. and thats me with the pacing. in any other show i would probably be bored and impatient. but for me, bc of so many other things, bc of what theyve done with characters in the mean time, bc i just like these characters a lot, the way they interact, the way they think, the whole vibe of the show and what it says, im just not bothered by it. its not an issue to me. and thats my tangent on personal taste and how youre allowed to just not think that a show has flaws when you like it even if other people think its flawed and youre equally critical of other things but anyway.

back to i hear the sunspot. i dont know why i love this slowburn and lack of communication but i just do. maybe its bc the show doesnt feel rushed. ive been frustrated so many other times when shows wait until the final ep for the couple to get together, which im guessing this show is doing, but thats usually bc nothing else about the show is engaging me so it feels like im being left waiting. i dont feel like im left waiting here. here, i feel like everyone as a character is being valued and whatever time i spend with any of them, i love it. i dont find myself waiting until kohei and taichi get a scene together like i have with other shows bc everything else, everything with them individually, everything with maya, with taichi's friends, idk what else to say i just love it all. and that shows bc i cried just as hard at the scene with maya as i did at the scene with kohei and taichi.

and now for just some fave bits, starting with maya. i just love her. people were so ready to be annoyed with her and pick her apart, but i cant scream enough about how amazing it is that the show introduced a female antagonist and managed to, in my eyes anyway, turn her into someone i liked and felt for and just enjoyed watching. finally, a female antagonist that wasnt just disposable after she served her purpose. and whats better is that what we come to learn about her recontextualises her actions when she was first introduced. i just know upon a rewatch that when i first see her acting out and being mean to taichi, i might still be mad at her, but ill also see a girl that is struggling to make it look like she is fine, someone who is trying her hardest to make it appear that she doesnt try at all, that shes fine, shes no burden to anyone, that this huge thing that is scary and difficult to deal with, shes fine with, bc shes just that good, no biggie. that need to make it all seem casual, to not show weakness, is even exactly why she got mad at taichi in the first place, bc she thought he wasnt trying, he was just doing things casually and he was ok with letting people know he wasnt perfect. he didnt take perfect notes and that was ok, he was still trying his hardest. thats like the exact opposite of maya's mindset to be perfect but make it look like shes not trying. and i think that clash was a great thing to add to the show, and so rewarding when taichi finally hit the nail on the head and told her she didnt have to try so hard, that its ok to let, or even make, other people make the effort. its not sympathy or pity, its kindness.

and now for taichi and kohei. there was just so many things that i loved, the scene of kohei cutting onions with his mom, the whole montage in the classroom going through the highlights of taichi taking notes for kohei, the whole vibe at the end where it was never explicitly said but you just knew it was taichi's last day. and i adore the way that kohei didn't ask questions when taichi told him about dropping out, he just had that faith in taichi, there was nothing to question, he believed that whyever it was, whatever it was for, taichi had thought about it and made the decision and that was enough. instead he just talks about taichi, how hes amazing, making him feel good about himself so he can feel both confident in his decision and whatever he does next. and as for taichi, i know we all wanna know why he cant just say he likes kohei and get it over with, but i dont think thats the right sentiment to bring to the show, or at least not the one i have. whatever it is, i just dont mind, bc to me taichi is a person and if he cant bring himself to say it now or doesnt want to or doesnt think its the right time, thats fine. thats the kind of energy gives me anyway, that i shouldnt be pressing these characters for a reason. its similar to how the show doesnt feel rushed, its like im fine if taichi doesnt say it bc theres no deadline, you say your feelings when youre ready and want to and thats just up to him and im not here to rush him, neither is the show. it just gives him the space to figure things out and make his mind up and decide when the time is right, when he isnt on rocky ground with yknow new people being mean to him and making him doubt himself or questioning what he wants to do with his life and taking on something new - like if taichi is overwhelemed by all of that, its fine. and i can hear the argument oh show us that and like yeah, as i said for any other show id say that too but here i dont care. taichi not saying his feelings can be for any reason you want to come up with, the show doesnt need to give us one, nor do we need one to accept he hasnt done it, but also if you want a reason, theres more than enough to draw from the show to come to your own conclusions. that kinda sounds like the most pretencious defence of a show thatsputting off a confession for the final ep but hey its what i think and i vibe with that thinking so there.

honestly, what i feel about this show is that it didn't need to be a bl for me to watch it, bc i adore everything about it that id watch it even if it was just bromance or even pure friendship, but the fact it is that bc its a bl, because it has that romance, it makes it better. and maybe thats why im not bothered by the pacing, bc im not waiting for the bl moments, im just enjoying the show for what it is, for the story its telling, for the characters its created and the message its conveying. and god if i think about it ending next week i will bust a cry so for now, we live in denial.

[thekidsare-not-alright]

Sorry to bother you with this question but I don't really know anyone in FOB fandom. I'm not new here, but I do work an extremely busy job (I'm an ER nurse) so I am admittedly a bit lost on some things about this current tour. Like what is the 8 ball stuff, and do you happen to know any general set list for the shows? If you don't feel like answering, that's totally cool too. I see a lot of your posts in the FOB tag so I thought I'd ask. :) Thank you in advance! xx

First, thank you for your all that you do in healthcare! Absolutely no apologies, I'm happy to help :)

Major tourdust spoilers ahead! (of course)

I'm going to take this ask as a chance to explain all the setlist fun stuff in one spot, so here we go! The setlist has been consistent except for four main points, which I'll explain below. For ease, I'm going to be referring to Bonner Springs' setlist (6/24/23), so when I use numbers to refer to song placement, those are the ones I mean.

If you wanna skip ahead anon, magic 8 ball is explained in letter D :]

A. The first change in the setlist has only happened once and takes place 6th in the setlist, following 16 candles and preceding Grand Theft Autumn. It's usually Chicago Is So Two Years Ago, but has also been Homesick at Space Camp and Dead On Arrival (after their respective tour debuts as magic 8 ball songs). Songs 6-8 are played in a TTTYG themed section of the set every night.

B. The second change is slightly more regular and takes place 12th in the setlist. This song is often "The Take Over, The Breaks Over," but every now and then it gets swapped out for Hum Hallelujah, as well as Bang the Doldrums (after its live debut as a magic 8 ball song in LA). It was once swapped out with 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen).

C. The third change is different almost every night, with only a couple repeats here and there. This is Patrick's section of the setlist, at track 15 after Fake Out, where he just plays one or two snippets of songs on piano (or sometimes acoustic guitar) before a shortened cover of Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Oftentimes, if he plays two songs, one of them is from Fall Out Boy and the other is a cover of whatever he feels like. Often referred to as "piano medley" or just "medley." (Golden, What A Catch, Donnie, and What a Time to be Alive have been very popular relatively for this part of the setlist, sksk patrick)

D. The fourth and final change on the setlist is known as the "Magic 8 Ball" song and takes place after Hold Me Like a Grudge at track 23. This song is where Pete asks a "giant magic 8 ball" (a screen above the stage) what song they should play anywhere from their entire discography. Here's a video of him asking (the spiel is about the same every night). Each magic 8 ball song has been different for each show, with exceptions described in letter H. Some of these songs have never been played live before, some haven't been played in over a decade, some just haven't been played in a while or as often but they are a complete secret/surprise every night! Additionally, Pete has said that once a song has been played for the magic 8 ball section, it can appear elsewhere in the setlist at future shows. So, really, anything can happen.

Fall Out Boy has gotten even more unhinged lately, so here are a few more setlist changes.

E. As mentioned above, the piano medley usually ends with a cover of Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Twice now, however, this song has been sacrificed for other songs: August 1st for Gym Class Heroes' Travie Mccoy being brought on stage (Patrick played part of Stereo Hearts on piano, then they all played Cupid's Chokehold) and again on August 2nd for Sweet Caroline (a Boston Red Sox/Fenway Park tradition). The Journey cover has been played every show since.

F. Up until recently, a cover of Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train has been played after Baby Annihilation and before Dance, Dance. Enter Sandman by Metallica seems to have replaced Crazy Train in the setlist as of August 5th. Sometimes referred to (by me) as the "metal cover."

G. The only song from MANIA to make it on the tour's setlist, The Last of the Real Ones, has been cut from the setlist for a second Magic 8 Ball song (occurring right after the first Magic 8 Ball song). At first, it seemed like it was cut only for the duration of Patrick's sickness or for noise curfew, but it has not yet returned as of August 5th. It was a part of the "permanent" setlist up until July 29th, when it was last played.

H. As mentioned in letter G, a second Magic 8 Ball song has been added to the setlist every night since July 30th (Toronto, ON). The following cities have gotten two Magic 8 Ball songs:

LA, CA (July 2nd and 3rd) - first sold out show of the tour, Pete's home

Toronto, ON (July 30th) - only date in Canada

Forest Hills, NY (Aug 1st) - possible nod to the Hella Mega Tour dates that the band were unable to play due to a COVID-19 exposure

Boston, MA (Aug 2nd) - possible nod to the Hella Mega Tour dates that the band were unable to play due to a COVID-19 exposure

Darien Center, NY (Aug 4th) - possible nod to the Hella Mega Tour dates that the band were unable to play due to a COVID-19 exposure

Camden, NJ (Aug 5th) - they're probably just having a lot of fun doing spontaneous songs at the end of this leg! <3

For each double magic 8 ball night, the first one is a new song (one not yet played on Tourdust before, regular magic 8 ball rules apply) and the second is a repeat magic 8 ball song (any of the previous ones).

I. Spontaneous covers such as Shipping up to Boston and Coffee Mug have also appeared once each without cutting other songs in their place. The former was a nod to Boston and the latter a tribute. Really, just be prepared for anything at all times.

Extra fun note: The official setlists have the mystery song written in code, mostly using the NATO phonetic alphabet by abbreviating either the song's title or a key set of lyrics (GINASFS was written as "Golf" on the first setlist, Of All The Gin Joints in All The World, commonly referred to as Gin Joints, had the code name "Gamma Juliet," while Fame < Infamy's code name was "Bravo Whiskey Papa," referring to the lyrics "better with (a) pen" in the song)

Basically, they've been talking about having some of that old pre-fame ~scene rock show~ vibe where everything was spontaneous and they played til the cops showed up. It's a taste of going back to their roots and giving the fans what they want (and having a ton of fun while doing it!)

[I used this spreadsheet as a reference, made by this person on twitter]

So sorry anon for the novella here, I'm sure you wanted something quick but I couldn't help myself oops heh

[mrstsung]

Hot take but i don't think mk12/mk1 will survive long enough to ever get "polished" to live up to it predecessors.

Wb is in the process of selling several branches of its gaming companies.

The dissatisfaction with mk12/mk1 is apparent. For various reasons but still dissatisfaction none the less.

People really think mk11 did worse is clearly gaslighting themselves into validating their poor purchases before the game could fully cook. Mk12/mk1 is clearly rushed. Even if you're not into fighting games,you can clearly see that.

Their pr and press doesn't really deliver and actually tell us anything. Practically hot air at this point. Disingenuous af. And empty promises.

Mk11 is by no means perfect. It had serious issues coming out and theb game devs struggled . But it had also a bigger budget,more time,and support. None the less.

Mk11 also had award winning actors and voice actors/actresses. That also helped their sales.

The story wasn't the best. Plotholes from hell. But it was fun and easy to follow. I would have to say that even non gamers would have fun. Because there's actually stuff to do. And you didn't have to wait for little pay off.

People complain about the grinding in mk11 but what are y'all playing for then?

Dont you want stuff to do in the game? Grinding how? The difficulty or the fact you gotta actually play a damn game and not "press x to win" ? Either way thisbis mortal kombat not some chill game like minecraft or animal crossing where you can turn off your brain and chill. Mortal kombat is a fighting game,fighting games have action,action is DOING SOMETHING! I can't believe i have to explain this but here we are.

Mk12/mk1 isn't doing good because it's a good game. No. It's barely scrapping by because nostalgia bait and clickbait. And by the time you realize that. Nrs already has your money and you get a box of air. Nothing but aesthetics,cosmetics,nothing useful. Peopel said the gameplay got better. But for what point? So we can play half baked versions of the characters that clearly nobody else actually bothered to research? New world ment new characters. And this feels more like taking what is and was and should be mk worlds. And wiping their ass with it and said "now fork over 100 bucks timmy"

Not even joking at this point.

Look mk11 for all its troubles in the beginning,it is nothing compared to the shitshow we have now.

The next game should do better than the last not the other eay around. But this keeps happening. A lot People wouldn't say the pervious games were better,if the new game was actually competent enough to stand on itself. It's going into its first year and people are already bored.

Why should mk12/mk1 be praised for mediocrity?

Honey nrs is giving you the bare minimum with this game. And people still wanna praise it.

Pffft.

What does it truly offer as a game that it's predecessors did not? Gimmicks and that shit doesn't count. What does it offer thats ACTUALLY DIFFERENT? Nothing.

Taking the same characters,same story,same crap,and changing genders,roles,and the integral parts of the lore. Doesn't make it a good game. Especially when it doesn't come from a place of genuine respect or care. They want you to buy shit. It's all about sale sale sale. Because they are not just money bankrupt but creatively so too.

I wouldn't mind mk12/mk1 if they actually had all and i mean ALL COMPLETELY NEW CHARACTERS. and fire god liu was put in an exposition role and not a playable character on the roster. Like raiden was long ago at some points. That would have been actually fitting. (My personal opinion but i like liu falling to the darkside so much and it's such a waste)

Again.

Mk11 had faults but at least im not bored to death.

[proudproship]

hello hi i have a lot to say, so

i fully get that fiction obviously isnt real life, its not comparable at all, but personally im really unsettled by the idea of looking at a vulnerable character, say a child, and being like 'yes! taken advantage of, awesome!!' (or any situation) because my mind automatically goes back to real life and real victims :(

maybe its just how i cope now from being exposed to shit like grooming and pedophilia and allat way too young, but personally, topics like that and the idea of it in fiction AND real life just terrifies me — in the same way seeing a news story about the same thing would. it just disturbs me and i wanna know how you guys see it

but then at the same time i also get it, but only in a self insert way? im obsessed with this one character that i see in a multitude of ways, father figure, friend, stranger, creepy guy, and my whole jam with him is him being a groomer — BUT it only sits right with me if its me on the receiving end. i dont quite get how you can feel comfortable with putting that situation onto other vulnerable characters, id just feel awful and uncomfortable and constantly think back to real victims n stuff.

(i also know that proship isnt strictly nsfw, nothing i say here is implying to nsfw shit)

I honestly really do get this, since I feel the same way towards certain dynamics.

But I guess it's just that I've been a bit more desensitized, I suppose?

I also think, with the situation of a child character being sexualized, then it's just a matter of "do they look like a bobblehead or not"

Because honestly, I can only digest that stuff if they look like a bobblehead-

And tbh, it's all just a matter of why someone is shipping the ship, or doing that to a certain character, whatever.

I guess it really just depends on how someone can digest certain topics, and it's honestly extremely understandable if someone is bothered, or even disgusted, by a certain topic in media since there might be the reminder that shit like that happens in real life.

But ultimately though, safety is priority and if you're bothered by a certain trope, don't force yourself to like it. Sometimes the best thing you can do is stay inside your comfort zone.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

DFF & the Contemporary Issue of Trends

Last time I came onto this tag I was grasping at the last droplet of hope I had for the ending to be good.

I decided to tell you all about the great seen of Tee's confrontation with Non's dead body.

Before that I tried to guess who White might be in the story and what was happening with Phee and how and why Tan was New.

And along the way I made polls and memes and I joined this fandom in appreciating what seemed to be another great story by BOC.

We've all dedicated so much time and care and love and talent and skill to contribute to this community, to make something great around something we were growing to love...

But now we're all left neck deep in the mud, as another series with great potential bites the dust in a terrible manner.

And I'm here as the ominous oracle of the death and peril yet to come, in good Greek Tragedy fashion, to tell you this was not the 1st time we've witnessed this and it shall not be the last. And all bc contemporary media have taken 1 thing to their heart and 1 thing only: engagement.

So let's take a step back.

What fuels people? What sticks with them?

How many times a day do you remember you love your loved ones in a week? Perhaps not many. But how many times do you remember the guy the big car crash you witnessed on your way home the week it happened? A lot, probably.

Why? Bc it's new, it's shocking and it probably fuels you with either fear or frustration.

The same can be said about contemporary trends. They're new, shocking and probably fuel a negative emotion in you. So they get talked about A LOT. All at once.

This is the reason why media is becoming what it is. It's realized all st once, tried to rush through plots and plots to be relevant all the while. Makes twists and twists and twists. And has something controversial to it. Bc this will make people talk. And talk will get more people to consume.

Until of course, the next more appalling thing happens and everyone moves on.

God, this is even true in the news. I mean... How many times do you hear about good projects? Or art? But hoe many times do you hear about murder?? No wonder we're growing desensitized to it. It's all we hear about all the time!!

DFF is just another case. Another series in a sea of them that tried to be shocking and play with expectations to keep people talking.

My question is, however: and now what? Now what?

Sure, we're all talking about it cause we're shocked and pissed. But adter the emotions settle and the curiosity to find out the fuck went wrong dies out, what happens?

Don't get me wrong, I love this fandom but the series itself? It'll mostly fade away. It's not something I want to create anything for anymore. I don't have care for it any longer bc why would I??? If no one bothered to mind writing something that even made sense, why should I care to love it??

And I feel like I'm not the only one!

This fandom will die. Like many other have. And what will the creators have achieved?

I never thought about The Untamed with too much fervor, for example. And most of us have not. But if I go into its tag here or on AO3, there's still stuff being made for it. And everyone once in a while, I'll think about it and I'll coke back to it and I'll cherish and nurture it for what it is. And the fandom's there. And sure rn I haven't interacted with that fandom in a bit. And I've been on DFF's tag nearly every day. But in a year, maybe even just a few months, I'll still be thinking and coming back to Xue Yang and Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing... I won't be coming back to this mess, though. And in the end, it might not matter to anyone, but it matters to artists, doesn't it?

We make things because we are humans and we wish to connect with others. We wanna live forever in the things we live behind. But a story can't be told if there's no one to tell it to. You can't live forever in a void where no one awaits you.

So, in the end, we have consumed DFF, they have their money. But it will die and be buried together with all the people who have buzzed me while I was crossing the street or didn't held a door for me or were annoying to me on the bus. While other series, nourished with more love, will be there with me and many others, accumulating all the times we thought about them through the years, alive and well.

[pitynostars]

honestly, feeling very mixed. the giggle kind of felt like there was a lot of fuss for not a lot of actual things really happening. i also really really don't know how i feel about the bigeneration thing it just kind of seems so....pointless to me? like whyyyyyyy did we need fourteen to stick around and get his own weird little happily ever after just like how we had fucking tentoo get his own weird little happily ever after AND YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT THIS. WHY DO DONNA AND ROSE GET THEIR OWN DOCTOR FOREVER AFTER AND ONCE AGAIN MARTHA IS PAID FUCKING DUST BY THIS SHOW.

i also had this other theory of my own that i really liked that ultimately didn't come to pass, but it was that as 13 was regenerating, she really did regenerate straight into 15 (in this case he'd be 14) and the adventures with donna was all in the doctor's mind, trying to give them a sense of closure about the whole thing. and based on the spoiler of the hug which i saw in someone's profile pic (and because i assumed the doctor wouldn't fucking BIGENERATE) i thought oh that could be a moment where like gatwa's doctor has realized that it's all a big regeneration dream and then he wakes up after. idk why i'm so dedicated to this idea but i was having a really good time with it in my head :(

re: bigeneration LOL i got behind it after the giggle because people in fandom were acting like it was the reason for a clean slate etc. with gatwa becoming basically The First Doctor of Disney!Who but honestly i don't buy it at all lol... the first ep of this new reboot is Star Beast (on Iplayer AND Disney lol). thats gonna be the first ep people see if they wanna give dr who a go. they should have kept the 3 60th specials as their own separate thing imo. and then Church on ruby road came around and this whole therapy/healing shtick which was apparently the whole point of bigeneration seems pointless because when we meet gatwa now he's already reverted to the same issues as normal (in rtds writing lol)

LITERALLY again martha not even a MENTION lmao. fucking rose obvs got a shoutout. but not martha (or yaz) hm m......

omg in your au what if the dr comes out of it and THINKS it's all happened in their mind but actually its part of the toymaker Manipulating and really gatwa has been sort of in dream stasis and actually donna is trying to crack him out of it.... GORL.

[intcritus]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

I don't really do OTPs, but Hua Cheng and Xie Lian is the only one to ever exist in my head. Other than that, I don't really have many if any at all because fandom tends to ruin any sort of OTP for me and I just don't even bother anymore.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Mmm, I'm pretty open to write anything but no non-con, I just don't see myself going that route after somene shoved it on me in Bleach fandom days, I'm still traumatized that shit happened. That and I find that it's a harstop for me to write stuff like that in general with the way I've mutred over the years and it's a trigger for me. Generally though, I'm happy to write pretty much anything else, but there has to be communication involved.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

I try to make my characters from 27 to damn near 50, and I have a lot of immortal muses. That being said, no one below like 27 because most of my muses are just old enough that they'd be bothered by certain age gaps. For my 27+ muses, no one below their age but upward ? Yes please. For my immortal muses, give them them 30 + always. They don't wanna feel like grave robbers. As for any muse I have below 27, i.e Edward, Shoto, Shinso, they're dating in their age bracket.

Are you selective when shipping?

Yes and no. As someone who needs active communication when it comes to shipping, I realize things don't really progress or develop if we aren't talking. And I don't mean everyday, because that's unrealistic. But if we're in the midst of shipping, I would like to hear your thoughts on the way they're developing together. I would love to share thoughts about the ins and outs of them just being in the same space. I love to ship, but empty ships with no substance fall flat and get dropped overtime because shipping is a two-way street and if one part is not putting in the work, the whole workload falls onto the other partner and that's a no go for me. In the same token, I'm happy to talk about dynamics, I'm all about what'll work and what won't work, especially in romantic ships, but familiar and friendships work out perfectly without much chatter.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

There's steamy, then there's suggestive. Steamy is them grinding against one another, dirty talk and the like. Suggestive is just them probably making eyes. Either way, I'm tagging it as is because I don't want the tumblr police in my ear.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

Honestly, couldn't tell you off rip. I have friends who I've been friends with for years that occupy most of my ships. It's such dynamic and rarepairs that it's hard to list them all. Its so much fun when I think about just how rarepairs, pairs I've hardly thought about can work once talked about. It's so good.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Absolutely. I feel like if there's some blooming chemistry for our muses, and you see it, feel free to tip yourself into my IMs or my inbox and shout in capital letters about them, I'm always happy to discuss it. Because I'm not an insta-shipper, but I love when muses develop crushes, or if there's potential for a certain dynamic and I'll never turn down anything, as long as there's adequate communication.

How often do you like to ship?

As someone who takes the time to develop ships, not as often as I used to. Mutual interest goes a long way into getting me to ship. Sometimes I'm there for shipping and I'm like hell yeah, other times I'm just eh. Depends on the why and if there's interest on both ends.

Are you multiship?

That, I am. But I don't do multiples of the same muse. I'm all for a friendships but I refuse to be ship with multiples because it's messy and my brain doesn't like to feel like someone's hoarding my muse or vice versa. Most people don't do exclusives but in my head, I do because it gives me peace of mind. That and my muses are very devoted to their person and the thought of trying with the same muse, different writer shrivels up their muse as a whole.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

The only thing I'm obssessed with when it comes to my ships is probably everything me, Sis and Aven come up with. Because those pairings come outta nowhere and are all the more dynamic for them. Shipping has become a rare thing for me these days because stuff tends to fall off, and I am okay with that. Developing ships is different because muses aren't one dimensional and it's fun to see them opposing one another, for them to be realistic and have conflicting feelings. Those are the things that make me want to ship rather than ' oh my god, they need to kiss', it's more ' could they agree on world destruction ? ' or ' is that thing a deal breaker ?'

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Don't really belong to a single fandom tbh. Like I said, most of my pairings are rare and odd, so....

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Like I've been saying, communicate with me ! I'm not gonna bite and the worst thing I can say is no. I'm big on communicating because it goes a long way in letting me determined if there's mutual interest there and if not, we can always come back to it another time. But if not, I'm not always in a rush to jump into ships, it takes time.

tagged by : @avaere ( thanks nerd <3 )

tagging: @venstm @strcngered @msftsn & anyone whose feeling froggy !

[vampelune]

im a bit bothered by this discussion of suicide happening on twitter, and its probably because of recent events, but i wanna pick at it

i don't know that i think suicide is cowardly, but i do think it is selfish. people may argue that it's not -- that your life and body is your own and you should be able to choose when to die. but that's not quite right, and is only coming very deeply mentally ill, hurt, and pained individuals and i acknowledge that.

is it selfish to want someone to live despite the pain they endure daily? i don't think so. i think we will always love the people around us. pain that can be fixed, mended, and taken care of should not be a reason to die --- it's obviously different for people with physical, incurable ailments, but mental illness is not a forever thing. and even then.

i think people like me, and people like my best friend who took her own life in august, have this sense that they are permanently broken. that i will always just be like this. and sure, maybe, yea, i'll always deal with the things i did not choose to have happen to me, the trauma and permanent mental scars, but that does not mean i will always be miserable forever. sure i will always deal with some after effect of these feelings and emotions, that this pain and suffering ive endured will always be apart of me.

but that's not... bad? i've felt, recently, that darkness is a fundamental part of being a human being, and being alive. that while in my past i completely avoided sadness, pain, agony, and sorrow and the portrayal and discussion of it in art, in recent years i have leaned on it more and more. there comes a point where the darkness in my own head and the pain surrounding me becomes too much to simply bear with, ignore, and suffocate.

my life would not be my life if not for the suffering. i dont think people should suffer, necessarily, but that life without sadness and pain and sorrow would be meaningless. that you should continue to live regardless of the sadness and pain you experience.

i could die tomorrow. and i wouldn't want to die sad. she had the same opinion, but she took it into her own hands; she died at her happiest, after finally meeting me in person and getting to spend time with me for a week, doing a bunch of things we'd always wanted to do together and talked of doing for the past decade we'd known each other.

i'll die someday, everyone will, so i should just enjoy myself anyways. i should just live. i wouldn't want to die tomorrow feeling like i missed out on so much. i don't want to take my own life despite the pain and agony i feel, i want to keep going.

time will pass anyways, so i want to do everything i can, i want to persevere, i don't want to give in to my sadness again and miss out on so much of life.

i want the impact i leave to be good. i think hers was, too. i think if she had stuck it out, it could've been even better.

the conclusion i find myself at is that these feelings of wanting to die, of wanting the pain to end, are understandable. i feel them a lot of the time. but. they're selfish. and that i don't wish to hurt others just to selfishly end my own pain.

and that despite pain and suffering, that is just apart of life. and that it should be embraced, and understood.

mm. not sure what this is any good for. but take it anyways.

[namtanlovesfilm]

axelle judges bl shows > Step by Step

summary: Phat is a young worker at Jian Group, who develops a crush on a handsome guy he spills bubble tea on. To his surprise, though, it turns out that this handsome guy... is his new boss.

where to watch: dramacool

grade: 7/10

pros:

my favorite aspect of this show is that it embraces the flaws & feelings of its characters. it lets the relationship between jeng & pat develop very slowly (as it should for this kind of story), it lets pat kiss his ex before he ever kisses jeng & realize he doesn't love him that way anymore, and many more moments that felt very realistic compared to how other shows did it. the writing really cared for the characters' motivations & feelings which I loved.

to add to the realistic aspect of the show, this truly felt much more like a lgbtq+ show than other bl shows, which was obviously really nice & I hope it becomes a trend for more thai bl shows to come.

as someone who usually prefers shorter shows, I actually really enjoyed the longer episodes here? I don't know what it is, but it really added to the show's experience for me & didn't make the show drag on or boring. my issues are more so with the writing, but the length of the episodes actually made me more attached to the story & characters that are otherwise pretty basic.

the acting & chemistry were very good. there were some moments where I thought pat's actor wasn't that great, but jeng's actor did amazing & I really wanna see more of him, as well as jaab's actor & up poompat who honestly slayed in this role. overall the chemistry between the whole cast really was amazing too & contributed to the show feeling more natural.

the show is well filmed & you can tell a lot of care was put into it, which makes the watching experience more pleasant.

cons:

jaab & jane are truly the most underdeveloped side ship relationship I've ever seen??? nothing happened in their story, and they got reunited OFF SCREEN??? this is truly the biggest failure of a side ship I've ever seen, especially since these two had great chemistry. idk what happened here but this was NOT it.

the show really lost me in its second half when it became about pat crying every goddamn five minutes. it honestly made me lose empathy for him after a while even though he was a character I really liked at first. moreover, if a character cries all the time, it lessens the emotional impact it has on its viewers. as an example, we barely see jeng cry at all during the show, yet, when he does, it was WAY more impactful. I think there's a way to write a crybaby character, but this was not the way here.

overall basically all the side characters except chot are useless & served no purpose, also what was the point of beam being in love with ae while she's with kanun?? literally so useless, it ends up being discussed as a non issue & added absolutely nothing to the show.

I fucking hate when there's a one or two year gap in a story for no reason other than to reunite the characters last minute & pretend that ending is satisfying enough, so it's no surprise I hated the two year break in the last episode. it's become so overused in bl shows & it's fucking annoying, we saw no growth from the characters & them getting back together after two years felt very unrealistic, when pat's love for jeng had never even been shown to be that deep.

sorry but the age gap between the actors bothered me. even on screen, the fact that this is a boss/employee story will always bother me, especially since there's quite an age gap, but irl? every time I remembered pat's actor is only 21 years old & there's 11 years between him & jeng's actor, I cringed. I know it's legal or whatever, but it just bothered me during my watching experience.

I have no idea if this is nitpicky or if it bothered other people, but there are very big continuity jumps between scenes in the same episode regarding pat's actor face & haircut. he looks way younger in certain scenes than others, some that even happened one after the other. it's probably bc they filmed the pilot teaser way before the rest of the show but it was VERY distracting to me.

this is very much a me thing, but the english segments were way too numerous & long. we get it, pat's actor can speak english & jeng's actor is half white, but idk... it bothered me.

would I rewatch it: probably not...

Overall there's a lot that this show put out that I truly appreciated. But sadly it really lost traction as episodes passed, and ended up quite disappointing to me. I did still like many things & will remember this show for them, though.

[jung-koook]

Sky how do u update everything as soon as it drops?? And when u do miss a new release or anything like that do u experience fomo?? I've been experiencing it a lot lately since I have so much to study and just LIFE u know? I also wanna keep up w the tannies but its so hard and then I get so overwhelmed and anxious that what if I miss smth imp? this just add on's to my stress level even more:/ when I phrase it this way it sounds more like a chore but ugh I really wish u don't take it that way, or hope I don't take it that way in the future. Anyways this is just me rambling bc im sleep deprived and I miss them so much. Hope u get more sleep than I do♡

as I said in the other message, I don't feel that anymore. I still feel it when they do live. I really love watching their lives in real time because I feel that the feeling is not the same as after watching the replay of the live. but in other contents I don't feel that anymore I always think it's okay, I can watch it later. I think this might say more about us than about bangtan in general. for example, in my life I always wanted to have control over everything, even the smallest things that I couldn't have control over but I wanted to have. I didn't like surprises and unexpected things happening. after I managed to change that side of me a little, I stopped having these feelings with everything bangtan released. like, I felt anxious when I wasn't here during run bts episodes. I felt like I was missing something but the episode is always there for whenever I want to watch it. so I started to get bothered by that type of feeling and decided that I had to change it. sometimes we can talk to someone (a therapist) or ourselves and see what is causing these feelings. I'm sorry for the take long to reply you, I hope you are feeling better and having a better night's sleep. ♡

[fairycosmos]

i wanna come out to my parents to bad but every time im close i chicken out and start shaking really heavily because its so nerve wrecking :/ i know they’d have a problem with it and its so fucked because ever since i lost my sister i feel like i HAVE to make them proud, i mean they’ve already lost one kid, you know? i cant make them feel like they’ve lost another one. this is super forward so if you don’t want to answer please don’t, but is that something you struggle with? like, not wanting to let them down now that they’ve experienced the worst thing that can happen to a parent? anyway, sorry to bother you. i didn’t know who else might understand. hope your night is going better than mine lol!!!

god it's almost bizarre how i could've written this word for word im so serious 😭 like. you might be me for real we should uhhh check or something we might be living parallel lives. i totally understand everything you're feeling, from the coming out dilemma to the grief and everything in between. however, lately ive been viewing the idea of "coming out" through a more critical lens, and i think it's a bizarre expectation to put onto yourself and others, outdated almost - ESP if it is going to put you in emotional or physical danger. you don't owe your parents an explanation for like, being who you are. no one is entitled to access to your personal thoughts, feelings and relationships like that. you're not lying, that's a completely toxic idea. i know it's more complex than that, and i know it's constricting, like you're suffocating some days even. there is a lot of nuance, and it's absolutely not fair that you can't be open about it without fear. but if you're not ready to tell them, you're not ready to tell them. this is your life. that's a perfectly understandable reaction when they've made you feel unsafe regarding the topic in some way. and im exactly the same, w the loss of my sister it's like - everything is on me. i feel like i can't breathe and any move i make is wrong, i feel like the older i get and the more they realise i really am not gonna follow the traditional path, the more they resent me. if not outwardly, then inwardly. im not gonna have kids or marriage or a fancy career, i am not a viable vessel for their projections. it's true, they've already been through a fucking nightmare and so often i dream about giving them a picture perfect life from here on out, despite how i personally feel about anything, ive come close to it many times. i still might end up doing that, because im so loat and hurt. but i just fucking know deep down it's not sustainable. it's a fantasy, and i know my sister would hate to think im killing myself like that just to keep up pretenses. that being said, it's all so much easier said than done. im not saying you have to come out and cut everyone off and live your life completely authentically without fear or pain. im just saying like......despite the fucking endless mourning and the trauma our parents have been through........i don't think the solution to that is living our lives purely on their conditions either. we're not our siblings, and we never will be. we'll never fill that void, no matter what we do. im so sorry you're going through this, and thank you so much for the well wishes ❤️ i feel really seen by your message and i want you to know you can say hi whenever you need a friend. sending you so much love and healing, i know it's unbearable. X

[omentranslates]

Villain - chapter 1 english fan translation

Hello, I've translated chapter 1 of the new manga for Teniwoha's song, Villain. This is just a text translation, but the chapter is free to read in its entirety here. Also a warning just in case: this manga may be uncomfortable to read due to how the trans themes are written. I may speak a bit more about this later in another post, but for now I would just like to discourage harsh judgements based just on this chapter. Thank you for reading.

Btw the characters names are Orio Azuru (blue hair) and Midou Renri (blonde hair)

"'I'm sure we'll freak them out just by holding hands.' A boy who doesn't understand his own gender identity, Orio Azuru has fallen in love with the freeest "man" in town, Midou Renri, at least that's how it should've been." -- site description

Orio *narrating*: I'm going to meet him again today. There were no promises made, there's every chance he won't still be there. But still...

A sign that says NO TRESPASSING

Orio: Renri

Orio: Renri....Reeeenri, I'm here.

Orio: OOF *gets the shit smacked out of them*

Renri: Don't 'I'm here' me, asshole. I already told you not to come around here anymore, are you stupid or something? Orio Azuru?

Orio: Wow, you're in a bad mood today! Something happen?

Renri: Do I have to beat it into you again til you remember?

Orio: Oh yeah, I brought you Big Burger as a present!

Orio: Even with you being you, this abandoned building isn't really where you live, right? Haven't you just taken it for yourself since the utilities still work sometimes?

Renri: I FOUND THIS PLACE SO IT'S MINE TIL THEY STOP.

Orio: Well that's why I thought I'd bring you a little something!

Renri: I already told you I don't need shit like this, if you're trying to farm gratitude you're out of luck.

Orio: Aren't you eating right up, though....?

Renri: What the hell is your goal here?

Orio: Goal? No, it's nothing like that.

Orio: Y'know how when you wanna talk with your friends so you walk across the classroom to see them? It's the same thing.

Renri: ....seriously? Look, I dunno much about school but it seems like you just have way too much time on your hands.

Both: Oh

Renri: ROCK PAPER SCISSORS GO- ACK

Orio: Nice try!

Orio: Anyways, yeah. Hanging out with you is fun. Is that so wrong?

Renri: OF COURSE IT IS, UNLIKE YOU I DON'T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR THIS.

Orio: Oh, that so!? Even though you're always asleep on that sofa no matter when I show up?

Renri: I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.

Orio *narrating*: I like him.

Orio *narrating*: That day, I didn't feel like going straight home. But I didn't have anywhere else I'd rather be either. So I ended up turning some unfamiliar corners in my search for a place I could be alone.

Orio *narrating*: It didn't hit me right away what that colorful substance on the ground was. I was totally alone, there wouldn't be help coming. There could be demons or maybe even snakes back there. But I just wanted a distraction, so I figured anything would do.

Orio *narrating*: Those were my thoughts when I opened the door to see a beast most horrible, most fearsome and beautiful.

Orio *narrating*: I'm glad I came here (You shouldn't have come here)

Renri: ----Hellooo? Orio Azuru?

Renri: If you're just gonna sit there and space out then go home already. I wanna take a shower.

Orio: Sorry, sorry! Then how about I tell you about something interesting that happened at school today!

Renri: No I wanted you to leave.

Orio: Ah come on, you don't have to pay attention, think of it like listening to the radio.

Orio *narrating*: He kicked me in the head the moment we met, but it doesn't seem like he actually hates talking to me. He's actually got a much more calm personality than you'd expect, and the more I've bothered him, I've been able to get to know him, little by little.

Orio *narrating*: Like how he's a dropout with no parents, how he's got relatives he doesn't want to go home to so he's repurposed this abandoned apartment, how he made a lot of enemies teasing the local delinquent groups.

Orio *narrating*: How he was injured when we met, and how he got whoever did it back three times over later.

Orio *narrating*: He'd be so cool if he could just be quiet, but he ruins it with that violent and immature nature of his. Even so...

Renri: So, that injury. You get it in a fight?

Orio: No way.

Renri: Ah, ok.

Orio *narrating*: He's also way sharper than you'd expect. He always seems to know what lines not to cross to keep things comfortable. Well...maybe he just doesn't care that much, but-

Orio: If you're done, I'll collect the trash.

Renri: Hey wait, I'm not done yet.

*the flashback starts here*

Classmate: You're kinda weird, huh.

Classmate: If you're joking, it's not funny. So knock it off.

Classmate: What are you even saying, people are gonna think you're gross.

Orio: Sorry, I was joking.

Orio: I'll turn my everything into a joke. So please don't make me out to be the villain.

Orio: What exactly....am I?

*the flashback ends here*

Orio: Ah....

Orio: ....sorry. My hand slipp-

Renri: You didn't get a concussion when you got hit, right? It'd be trouble if you collapsed on the way home.

Orio: Huh, what? Why are you scarier when you're trying to be nice to me!?

Renri: HUH??

Orio: Just kidding!

Orio: ....just kidding.

Orio *narrating*: 'Go home for today,' he said. Makes it sound like there’ll be a tomorrow.

Orio *narrating*: There were no promises made, there's every chance I'll open that door and he'll be gone. When that happens, I guess I'll stop coming here.

Orio *narrating*: Even though thinking that always makes me scared to open the door, for some reason, you're always there.

Orio *narrating*: I do understand. That I can't ask for more than right now. But still, I'll definitely go see him tomorrow too.

Orio *narrating*: I love him. And I'm ok with just that.

Orio: I stayed for a long time today, what time is it? Huh? No way, I left my phone?

Orio: Renri's in the shower? I guess there's no need to knock since we're both guys so.....

Orio *narrating*: I love him. But there was never a "him."