#And I brought Lucius back to life because you gotta

[im-so-bad-at-usernames]

Fic: Talent Show (OFMD)

Hi there, don't mind me, I just made a quick Tumblr account while I wait for my AO3 account invite. This is dumb, unbeta’d and mostly an excuse to write silly dialogue. Hopefully someone enjoys it! Title: Talent Show Pairing: Stede/Ed Rating: R? Explicit content but not very explicitly described. Plenty of foul language from Ed, because pirate Summary:  “At the risk of jinxing things,” Stede said. “I feel like we’re back on an even keel.” “If we weren’t, we’d all be drowning,” Ed said. Ed broaches a sensitive topic with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. A silly, post fix-it PWP ficlet.

Talent Show

“At the risk of jinxing things,” Stede said. “I feel like we’re back on an even keel.”

“If we weren’t, we’d all be drowning,” Ed said.

“Not literally, I mean the two of us. I think we’re moving on after everything that’s happened. Water under the bridge, you know?”

“Lotta water metaphors.”

Stede grimaced. “I can’t seem to stop… do you agree?”

“Yeah, I agree, you seem to be stuck on a water theme.”

“No, about us. Do you think we’re alright?”

Ed scratched his neck. His fingertips came away smudged with kohl, despite his soak in Stede’s bath.

“I haven’t tried stabbing you in a while,” Ed said.

“It’s been good practice for me anyway, all the dodging.”

“Sorry, it’s force of habit.”

“It was my fuck up Ed, I’d say I’m getting off lightly.”

Stede gave him one of those searching looks.

“What?” Ed said. “I know I’m still beardless, it’ll take a while to grow back.”

“Just… seeing you here, in the mornings, when I wake up. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to it.”

The way Stede’s eyes crinkled made something scurry nervously about inside Ed’s chest.

“About that,” Ed said, stretching under the covers. “Do you wanna bugger?”

Stede wrinkled his nose. “Ed, we’re having a nice moment!”

“I know, I’m just trying to get the lie of the land.”

“Ah! A land metaphor from the seafarer!”

“Yeah, yeah, but, do you?”

“Do I-” The words seemed to get stuck in Stede’s throat.

“Do you wanna bugger? It’s alright if you just want to keep holding hands, I’m only trying to figure out-”

“I’m sorry, Ed. It’s just, I don’t think, I’m not a fan of the whole-” Stede gestured vaguely behind himself.

“Of the dick up your arse?”

“Ed.”

“But that’s what you mean by-” Ed mimicked the gesture.

“I’m really sorry. If that’s a deal breaker, I totally-”

“Not at all. I want you to bugger me, so that works out great.”

Ed yawned while Stede gawped.

“You,” Stede said.

“Yeah?”

“You want-”

“This is a very unmodern attitude coming from you, Stede.”

“It’s just you are- you were- you sometimes still sort of are-”

“Blackbeard, I’m aware.”

“Does this mean people have buggered Blackbeard?”

“No, that’s the problem,” Ed sighed. “They all expect me to be bending them in half. Gets really boring, sometimes you just want a bit of attention.”

Stede still looked like he was processing it all.

“And when you say all,” Stede said carefully. “Who is-”

“I haven’t been keeping a list.”

“Calico?”

“Yeah, of course. And Izzy.”

“Izzy?” Stede squawked.

“What? It’s the middle of the ocean, it was bound to happen.”

Stede looked deflated as he looked out of a porthole. “I see.”

“But that’s not why I want to get buggered by you.”

“Please can we call it something else? Love making, perhaps?”

Ed pulled a face. “That’s not why I want to do this with you. I want to do it because, you know, because we, I-”

Stede cut him off with an enthusiastic kiss.

“But you’re sure?” Stede said.

“I’ve nearly had my nuts blown off by a musket before, it’s not that big a deal.”

“It’s just… it’s quite personal, laying yourself bare like that.”

Ed felt himself flush. “Well, now it feels like that! It didn’t before!”

“Sorry. It’s fine, it’s just a casual little fuck. Just some casual fuckery, whatever you fancy.”

“Stop talking and kiss me again.”

Stede obliged.

“Let me go get myself ready,” Ed muttered against his lips. “I'll back in a minute.”

When he returned, Stede was gripping the bed covers with white knuckles, smile clearly intended to look casual.

“Ready when you are,” Ed said, leaving his clothes in a puddle on the floor as he got back in bed.

“Wow, that was quick. Did you just-”

“The mechanics of it aren’t the sexy part,” Ed said as he climbed onto Stede’s lap. “Unless you’re into that?”

“No, I’m impressed, more than anythi-oh and-you’re-on-there!”

“Sorry, sort of assumed that’s what we were going for,” Ed said breathlessly as he sank down the full length of him. Stede whimpered as he gripped Ed’s thighs.

“You alright?” Ed said, hands on Stede’s shoulders. “Not about to croak on me?”

“I’m not that old.”

“Not old, just excited.”

“Excited. Delighted. Delirious.”

Ed set a rhythm, not fast but deep.

“Oh my god,” Stede gasped.

“Good?”

Stede nodded, mouth agape.

“Grab my arse,” Ed panted. “Show me what you like.”

Stede obeyed, gripping tight as he began to rock his hips up into Ed’s.

Ed let his head loll, breath hitching. “Yeah, like that.”

“You feel-”

Ed cut him off with a kiss, then a groan, then something approaching laughter.

“Do you want me to-” Stede reached for Ed’s dick.

“No need, just keep it up.”

Stede didn’t need telling twice. Ed wrapped his arms tight around his back, eyes rolling with it.

“We can finish on all fours,” Ed whispered in his ear. “Might be easier on your thighs.”

“Thanks.” They swiftly rearranged. “It’s a good reminder though, I should do more leg exercises.”

“I can show you some, if you like.”

“Thanks, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“No problem but you don’t get back to fucking me I’m gonna castrate you.”

“Understood!”

Ed pressed his face into the pillow until he felt like he was being smothered, one ear cocked and listening to Stede’s grunts. He was everywhere: inside and all around Ed.

It was too much to bear. Ed’s knees buckled as he came. Stede followed suit with a gasp.

Stede laid down beside him and gave his arm a frantic shake. “Oh no, Ed? Are you alright? I’ve not hurt you, have I?”

Ed gave him a sluggish pat on the arm. “Don’t flatter yourself too much.”

The tension faded from Stede’s face, replaced with a combination of wonder and amusement.

“You really enjoyed it then? You look like you’ve melted!”

Ed made no effort to solidify. “Liked it a lot. Sorry about all the spunk.”

“Oh, no worries, there’s more bed linens. We can always… well, we should probably burn these.”

“Probably.” Ed leaned into Stede’s hand as it moved to stroke his back.

“You know, the fact that you don’t need any, uh, assistance, in the front, so to speak,” Stede said. “That’s quite the talent.”

Ed’s smug smile rapidly turned into a frown. “Wait: talent. Hang on, aren’t we supposed to be-”

There was a weary sigh at the door. Before they could protest, Lucius poked his head inside their quarters.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re naked and sweaty, whatever, I don't care,” he grimaced. “Look, I didn’t survive nearly drowning so I could listen to that sort of thing, so if you could kindly put a damn sock on the door next time.”

“Yes Lucius.”

“Sorry Lucius.”

“Thank you. If you're quite finished, stick some clothes on and watch this bloody rescheduled talent show before I throw my finger at you.”

[didsomeonesaydaddydraco]

My Oh My | Draco Malfoy one shot

Request: yes! @leydileyla (I would like to request a Draco Malfoy fic, with a Female Hufflepuff Reader (you don't need to specify Hufflepuff if you don't feel like it goes with the story) with the prompt,2. Take another step, and I can’t be responsible for my actions.Maybe it could be something like, they could have been flirting for a while and both sides feel like they are hitting their boiling point )

Word count: 3,205 words

Warning: drinking (just a tiny)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!reader

Note: This was a requests from the prompt list. Used prompt: “Take another step, and I can’t be responsible for my actions” 

They say he likes a good time

He comes alive at midnight

My mama doesn't trust him

He's only here for one thing

But (so am I)

The dungeons. The Slytherin Common Room was located there. A place for the cunning, ambitious, determined and resourceful wizards and witches. And of course the kingdom of the Slytherin Prince, Draco Lucius Malfoy. He was mysterious as the night, but oh Merlin, he was the most alive during the dark hours of the day. He really knew how to have fun and how to throw the best Common Room Parties without the professors or Filch founding out. Those parties were the topic of every conversation. Students were talking about how the Slytherins managed to sneak snacks and alcohol to their Common Room, and how clever they were to use the Muffliato Charm, so the loud music wouldn’t be heard from outside. But the most interesting and exciting part of those parties was the way students from other Houses were invited. Not so many people had the privilege to be good friends with a Slytherin, due to their struggles with trust, but that didn’t mean they refused to have some fun time with their fellow school mates. You could only enter the party, if a Slytherin invited you. They would leave a note in your book, on your desk before class or sneak it into your bag with the exact details and the password. That’s how Y/N was invited. Hufflepuffs and Slytherins were at the same Transfiguration class, and one Monday, when Draco Malfoy passed her desk, he dropped a piece of parchment. She bent down to pick up the folded note and give it back to him, but she saw her name on the middle of it, written in neat handwriting. 

Beautiful, come to our party this Friday, 10 at night. Bring only one FEMALE friend if you want. The password is serpent. I’ll be expecting you - Malfoy

That was the beginning of a beautiful flirtationship with the Slytherin bad boy. That night, Draco never approached Y/N, but he was always around her, glancing at her while I was talking to our school mates, staring at her while she was dancing with Pansy on the tables. After that party, it was hot glances at each other during class. Draco couldn’t kept his eyes off her, and after a while, it wasn’t enough for him. For some strange reasons, he wanted to be as close to the Hufflepuff girl as possible, so he made her House mate move from next to her and sat by her side during classes. Draco would greet her with a compliment, and Y/N would wink at him in response. The small nice gestures and words soon turned into more. She would stroke her hand along his back as she passed him in the corridors. Draco would touch her hand secretly while they were chatting with friends. He never hid how he was feeling about her, and wasn’t afraid to threaten anyone who tried to approach the subject of his admiration. The flirting between the youngsters was something that couldn’t stay unnoticed by anyone. 

“Who is the boy?” Her mother would ask when she was back at home for Christmas. She kept receiving owls with litters and small parcels with her name on top of them. Same neat handwriting. She would smile brightly and even blush while reading the shorter or longer notes attached to her gifts from Malfoy. 

“It’s probably still Draco” Y/N’s sister groaned and with an annoyed expression on her face, she shoo away the owl. She didn’t like the idea of her sister being involved with someone who was mostly famous for his jerk behaviour and the idea he was brought up in. In her eyes, Draco Malfoy was the devil himself. She wanted to hex him just because he would breathe around her. Of course she didn’t want Y/N to get hurt or being used by him. 

“Draco? As in Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy’s son?” Their mother looked up from her book and her kind eyes focused on her youngest child. She knew that family and heard enough about their shady businesses and arrogant behaviour “I don’t trust him, darling” she shook her head disapprovingly.

“You know he likes to sleep around and mess with girls, right?” Her sister asked, but Y/N shut their voices out. Of course she heard about his reputation, and even saw him throwing girls away from one day to another, but that was what pulled her in. She wanted his taste. Maybe he wanted only one thing, but so did she.

A little bit older

A black leather jacket

A bad reputation

Draco Lucius Malfoy. Everyone knew who he was. Everyone knew about his reputation at Hogwarts. And of course, everyone warned her about him. He had everything that a girl could wish for in a guy. He was tall and strong. He was hard to get and a total twat. He bullied everyone who wasn’t good enough in his eyes and he never regret it. But he had the most beautiful pair of stormy blue eyes with the slightest hint of baby blue in them. And that damn smirk that could make a girl faint. He was just a few months older, but his features made him look much mature. Y/N always found herself staring at him when he wasn’t by her side, just admiring the man he was. After a while, Draco would feel someone watching him, and would look for the person, secretly hoping it was the girl who he wanted so badly. He could have made her his fully, but they loved and lived for their little cat and mouth game. The bickering and flirting entertained not only the two of them, but everyone around them. 

“Bite me” Y/N said to the blonde bloke towering over her body. She couldn’t tell anymore what they were arguing about, she just wanted to push his bottoms and see when he would snap. Her remark made Draco smile at her darkly, and leaned in, dangerously close to her face.

“Where, princess?” His was deepened and he bit his bottom lip. A tiny gasp left her lips and he knew he won this round “You thought you were so badass, but then you met me”

“You think too highly of yourself” she rolled her eyes and pushed him away. Draco sat back next to her on the bench and put his hand on her thigh, softly stroking her soft skin with his thumb.

“Am I not everything you wanted?” He asked with raised eyebrows, and he sneaked his hand up a little higher. They crossed the line of innocent flirting a long time ago. Y/N and Draco were basically on fire when they were just simply in the same room, yet alone sitting next to each other.

“I wanted a little less arrogance” she pushed his hand away and stood up, grabbing her back from the ground and walking away with a huge smile on her face. She loved the affect she had on the Slytherin boy, and enjoyed teasing him too much to end it anytime soon. 

“You can’t resist me, Y/L/N” Draco yelled after her and watched how her hips swayed as she walked further and further away. That girl really knew how to ignite the fire inside him over and over again, but never stayed long enough to let it warm her. Draco smiled at the thought of chasing after her in the corridors and throwing her over his shoulder to her back to his room. 

Insatiable habits

He was onto me, one look and I couldn't breathe

Yeah, I said, "If you kiss me

I might let it happen”

I swear on my life that I've been a good girl

Tonight, I don't wanna be her

Y/N was a good girl, always the first to submit her homework and the one who volunteered to tutor the younger witches and wizards when they had troubles with any of their classes. She liked to know all her assignments were complete and outstanding, searching for new information about the topics of their lessons to add to her essay and show her professors how determined she was about her studies. She was nice with everyone, she was the shoulder you could cry on even if you didn’t know her that well. She liked to help people and loved to make new friends. But she had a side that only a few people knew. She wasn’t that innocent little Hufflepuff girl like so many students would have thought. She was always up for a good party and flirt with boys. They were young after all. It was their time to live, to experiment, to fall in love and to make mistakes. She loved her life and wanted to live it fully. That was what Draco admired her. Her essence and the way she saw life. She was fun to be around, and hot to stare at. And he liked to watch every move she took.

“Like alchemy, Kabbalah isn’t one generalised study either, but several different branches. The two beaches that specifically have the most influence” she was trying to teach Draco  everything about their Alchemy class before their midterm test, but she rudely interrupted her.

“You gotta stop doing that” he said with a teasing tone. He was laying on his side on the bed, keeping himself up by his elbow while he was playing with the rings on his long fingers. 

“What?” she asked with a confused expression and looked up from her notes. Draco wasn’t paying attention to her words, but the way her lips moved.

“Saying things that make me wanna kiss you” she annoyedly rolled her eyes and pushed Draco of her bed. She might tried to act cool, but she couldn’t hide the smile dancing on her lips and her eyes brightening up by the thought of kissing him.

——-

“See you tonight, Y/N?” Pansy Parkinson asked as she passed by in the corridor. It was Friday afternoon, and they just get out of their last class. The usual Friday Night Party was the topic of every conversation, which made Y/N rather annoyed. She found it weird that she wasn’t invited. The last four months, she was there. Draco always made sure she was invited and had her by his side the whole night. But this week, she wasn’t. She kept checking for little notes in her books where Draco doodled during classes or Study Halls, she reorganised her bag to see if he had slipped a piece of paper, but nothing. Maybe he didn’t want her there.

“I wasn’t invited” she shrugged and tried to hide her disappointment with a smile. The Parkinson girl laughed and hugged her by the side. They weren’t the best of friends, but it felt good for Pansy so have another girl in their group of friends, who was actually a lot like them. It was a nice change to be able to have girly chit chats with someone, who wouldn’t make gagging noises by topics like skin care, menstruation or clothes. 

“Oh, bunny” she shook her head in amusement. Pansy found it funny how a bright witch like Y/L/N could be so stupid sometimes “You don’t need to be invited anymore. You’re one of us now, so when you hear about a party, just know that it’s your party too”

“Then I’ll see you tonight” Y/N smiled happily and quickly kissed Pansy on the cheek before she hurried back to the Hufflepuff tower to take a nap before the party. Her afternoon was a blur. After she woke up, she found Parkinson sitting on the floor beside her bed, drawing little butterflies and birds on a parchment. Pansy insisted that they get ready together to the party, because she needed some girly time and she was fed up with Enzo and Blaise making fun of her for taking too long to get ready. So the girls went to her dorm room and took a few shots of Fire Whiskey while they were doing each others hair and makeup. Y/N had a plan for the night. She was done with their little game, and wanted Draco to finally make the first move. She had been trying to make him do something that would move their relationship forward, but it seemed like the Slytherin Prince was more than happy with their current status. If Draco wasn’t man enough to make a move, then she will do it.

Her dress was perfect for her plan, and even Pansy drooled over her a bit when she saw Y/N coming out of the bathroom. The dress she chose was a simple black dress with think straps made out of diamonds and reached only down to the middle of her naked thighs. The fine satin fabric hugged her feminizing curves perfectly, the light fall of it on her chest and the slit of the dress on her thigh gave the whole look a slightly innocent, but teasing vibe. And everyone in the Slytherin Common Room agreed on that. Boys turned their head after her and tried to talk to Y/N, but the Hufflepuff had eyes only for a certain Slytherin, who was nowhere to be seen at the beginning of the night. She was tipsy and waited for the two more shots she took with Theo and Adrian to kick in and push her into another stage of drunk. All her insecurities, worries and boundaries were long gone, all thanks to the Fire Whiskey burning in her system. She was determined, she felt irresistible and she knew she had the boy in her palms. He just needed a little nudge, to finally make a move.

Draco Malfoy wasn’t the one who was easy to be amazed, but when he finally spot Y/N walking towards him, he almost choked on his drink. He had seen her in a jogger and sweater, with absolutely no makeup on and with messy hair, and he thought she was the cutest little thing ever. He had seen her in leggings and a workout top, with sweaty hair and face, and Draco felt motivated to go and workout too. He had seen her with a high pony tail and her school uniform, and he thought she was someone who could easily beat Granger at studying. But this was new. She never dolled up like this for a party. Her dress, the way her corrugated, tied up hair swung from left to right in perfect harmony with her hips made Draco to think about a lot of unholy things. She was a goddess in his eyes and he wanted to be the man by her side. His whole body, his heart and soul had been burning for Y/N for months, and he was getting impatient with their little game. He desperately wanted to take the next step, but he wasn’t completely sure if she was feeling the same way. Of course she flirted with him. They had their heated moments, where both of them were seconds away from crossing the line and kissing the other, but somehow, they managed to control themselves. Draco loved to replay their playful fights, their bickering that turned into heavy flirting and the secret glances and touches when he was in bed and tried to sleep. He loved to see the light blush in her cheeks when he complimented her hair, makeup or just her beauty or brain in general. He absolutely lived for the flame igniting in her beautiful eyes when he said something dirty and naughty to her during class or Study Hall. But he wasn’t brave enough to actually man up and ask her on a date. Or maybe to be his girlfriend. They were far too deep for basic things like first date, first kiss or anything like that bullshit. Their relationship was on a different kind of level, and he knew she was someone you just don’t want to lose. 

“Hey, handsome” she greeted him from a few feet away. Draco knew Y/L/N and Parkinson were getting ready together, and the two witches pre gamed a little before they came downstairs. He also saw her taking shots with their friends, so he was sure she wasn’t completely sober anymore. Not drunk enough, to not know what she was doing or saying, but definitely not sober anymore to be shy “Haven’t seen you all almost all night. Here I thought you were ignoring me” she smirked at him and twirled the end of her hair around her finger, looking at Draco with tilted head to the side. She wanted to take a step forward, but he held out his hand to stop her.

“Take another step, and I can’t be responsible for my actions” he warned her, his blue eyes never leaving hers. He couldn’t take this anymore. They were playing a very dangerous game, and they were so close to hit their boiling spot. Y/N straightened up and started the play with the ring on her necklace. Draco gifted her his ring two weeks ago, after he got enough of her always stealing it from him while they studied together. Little did she knew, Draco meant it as a sign, that she was all his. He wanted the boys at Hogwarts to see she was wearing his ring and she only belong to him.

“Than maybe you should take a step” her voice was teasing but serious at the same time. She bit her bottom lip and pushed her hip to the side a little bit, showing Draco that she was waiting. It was all up to him. And he did. The sassy look on her face, the way she was biting her bottom lip and everything that had been building up in him for long weeks, gave him a final push and he said fuck it. He grabbed her and pulled her to his body. Their chests were pressed together, he could almost feel her heartbeat. She looked up at him, fire burning in her eyes “If you kiss me, I might let it happen”

Draco kissed her. He kissed her like he had never kissed anybody before. It was exactly like it was written in romance books and said in the films. They had butterflies raving in their stomachs. Fireworks behind closed eyes. Hands holding onto the other like their lives depended on it. Lips moving in perfect harmony. She was his. He was hers. After months of flirting, it was good to finally burn in their love. 

“Just for the record, you’re mine” Draco said and rested his forehead on her. They were both breathing heavily, trying to catch breathe after the kiss. She giggled at his possessiveness and rolled her eyes at him. Of course he had to show who was the alpha “Oh, and this dress is coming off at the end of the night” he winked at her and pulled her face into another passionate kiss.

[skyemisc]

Azul Labcoat Translation

EP 1:

“I have a favor to ask”

Ramshackle Dorm

???: Please excuse me.

Grim: Hmm? It looks like someone’s here. Hey, Yuu, I’m gonna check it out!

Foyer

Azul: Yuu-san, Grim-san. Pardon the intrusion.

Grim: Gege—Azul! What’re you doing at Ramshackle dorm?

Azul: Oh, you don't need to make such an unpleasant expression there.

Azul: I’ve not come today to collect any debt. I’ve come to earnestly request your assistance.

Choice:

Request?  

This can only end up badly.

Azul: May I ask of you to assist me with Ortho-san’s maintenance?

Grim: Ortho’s maintenance?

Grim: Why would those guys at Ignihyde come to you from Octavinelle for that?

Azul: I am a member of the same club with Ortho-san’s elder brother, Idia-san. In the aforementioned club, a discussion arose.

Azul: He mentioned, “I’d like to swap out a part of his body to upgrade his performance, but I can’t do it alone.”

Grim: The idea of Idia asking you a favor seems pretty reckless…

Azul: It is because he is acquainted to few others. The thought of him bringing it up to me must have took a considerable amount of courage.

Azul: But he was determined to break out of his shell for his precious younger brother.

Azul: For Idia-san to work do his best to support that “younger brother” Ortho-san with a machine for a body…

Azul: It was a pleasant tale. The beautiful story of brotherly love had struck me to my very core.

Azul: Wouldn’t you two also consider offering you aid?

Grim:  Not at all.

Azul: Oh, straight to the point there.

Grim: This has nothing to do with me! Why do we have to help anyway?

Azul: Oh, I’ve misjudged you…or not. I expected you to express as such.

Azul: Incidentally, Grim-san. The other evening, what were you up to?

Grim: The other day? The other day you mean… Ah! Y-You…

Azul: I felt it would be rude to come empty-handed, so I’ve brought a gift. It’s a photo I took in the staff room the other day.

Azul: It displays the disorderly state Trein-sensei’s pet was found in following your quarrel in the staff room.

Grim: N-N-N-N-No you’re wrong. I-It wasn’t me.

Choice:

That’s a sorry excuse.

Photographed right on the act.

Grim: But… But it’s Lucius’ fault. He took my bread for dinner and just ran off!

Azul: Ahh, how troublesome. It seems Sensei is now seeking out the offender as well.

Azul: I’m just so shook up worrying about Ortho-san…

Azul: I might carelessly drop this photo in front of Sensei you know?

Azul: But if I could have help with Ortho-san’s situation, I’m sure I’d manage to keep this a secret.

Grim: Of course, we’d love to help you!! Right, Yuu!?

Choice:

I’ll be a poor supervisor.

If I can be of help, of course.

Azul: Ahh, wonderful! Then let’s leave for Ignihyde at once.

Ignihyde Dorm – Lounge

Idia: W-Wel-Wel…come.

Ortho: Everyone, thank you for coming here for me! Onii-san is very grateful as well.

Azul: Oh no, we must help each other out in times of need.

Idia: Azul… Is this really okay?

Azul: Fufufu. Did I not say to leave this to me?

Azul: Now, time is money. Let’s get started with the operations. Idia-san, have you finished the preparations?

Idia: Ready when you are.

Grim: What are we supposed to do?

Idia: Y-You two will be the operation force… You’ll be doing stuff like preparing, removing, and attaching Ortho’s part.

Grim: If that’s all, would you really need us to be here?

Idia: Ah, I-I-I will be doing the programming and motion control… Ortho’s framework is very complex and…um…

Azul: Ortho-san has a number of parts, doing the work alone would be impossible…is what I think he’s trying to say.

Idia: Y-Yeah…that.

Ortho: I’ve been really looking forward to this new update. I look forward to working with everyone!

Azul: Fufufu. I look forward to working with you as well.

Azul: Now then, would you please lie down. We won’t do anything excessive.

Azul: Changing out parts is similar to surgery, is it not? If anything happens, that would be dreadful.

Grim: That Azul is acting really nice towards Ortho.

Azul: I’m kind to everyone though?

Azul: To both Grim-san and Yuu-san.

Grim: Says the guy who blackmailed me with a secret photo he took!

-----

EP2

Ignihyde Dorm – Lounge

Azul: …I’ve entered the specified code. What should I do next?

Idia: Right now I’ll turn the system off and detach the external lock on his back… When I’m done, I’ll give the signal.

Grim: …Hey, Yuu. Do we really need to be here?

Grim: Azul’s taking care of the complicated parts for assembly, and he’s good with his hands so there’s no problems there.

Choice:

We’re probably more in the way

Maybe he didn’t want to do it alone

Idia: …The system’s turned off. It’s open.

Azul: Now Grim, I’ve kept you waiting! It’s your turn now.

Grim: Wha, me?

Azul: The exterior of his back has been opened. Please peek around inside.

Grim: sniff-sniff…. Ortho really is a machine. It’s all metal and cords inside.

Azul: Towards the very interior, there’s a blue glowing part right? That is the part we will be replacing.

Azul: I ask of you to remove this part and insert the new part within its place.

Grim: T-This seems like a really important role… Why don’t any of you guys do it?

Azul:  Idia-san is in taking care of the programming, and I need to insert the new password every 15 seconds.

Azul: Unfortunately, both of our hands are tied up.  …It’s a very strict security protocol.

Idia:  I-I didn’t want my dear Ortho’s contents to get stolen, so I thought to up the security… heh.

Idia: I upped it too much and can’t operate on him alone! It needs improving.

Grim: You look like you’re having fun… Weird guy.

Azul: As we work on our tasks concurrently, Grim-san, you just need to quickly swap out the parts… Simple, yes?

Grim: Well if it’s just that much it should be fine. ‘Kay, I’ll just…

Azul: Oh. Be sure to not touch any other parts that aren’t being replaced…at all costs.

Grim: That sounds kinda fishy… What happens if I do touch them? I won’t get shocked will I?

Azul: Ahaha! Why of course not. Hey, Idia-san.

Idia: Yeah. If you touch it, you wouldn’t get shocked. But…

Grim: But?

Idia: The protection software will register you as a ‘threat’ and you’ll be attacked by a high magical energy output is all.

Grim: That’s not okay at all!  That’s putting my own life on the line!

Grim: I absolutely want no part in this. I absolutely won’t do it!

Azul: Ah! I’m so shocked at your refusal I might just drop that “photo” in front of Trein-sensei…

Grim: Grr…. B-But getting attacked by that magical energy…

Azul: …I might just feel so grateful I may even pay you with a “high class canned tuna”.

Grim: Wha—That’s a great bargain! I’ll hold you to your word you know?!

Choice:

He’s so easily persuaded.

He’s powerless to canned tuna…

Grim: It’s important to put in great attention into detailed work. …Alright! Here I go!

Idia: The part came out  easily. Good. Next is…

Grim: Here!

Azul: Splendid. Now simply toss in the new part… Ah, no, it’s installed.

Ortho: …

Grim: …

Ortho: “…Confirming new media attachment.  Now loading.”

Idia: Alright we got it!!! Now we just gotta show what it’s got…! (1)

Grim: Haaaaah~~~! I was so nervous.

Idia: It gives a 10% increase in processing speed, so it should allow for heavy programs that were impossible before… Eheh.

Grim: That Idia is not listening to me at all… Show some appreciation here!

Choice:

Good work

You were cool.

Azul: Yes good work everyone. I will be taking the old removed part then.

Grim: Hey, you don’t need this dumb thing.

Grim: On top of that, Azul. We worked really hard here. You better get rid of that picture.

Grim: Also, that canned tuna! Don’t think I’ve forgotten about it.

Azul: Of course. I am a man of my word.

Azul: I will properly dispose of the photo and give you the canned tuna. I will absolutely not leave you with any resentment for today.

Azul: …I cannot allow this to cause trouble in the future,  so would you please sign this?

Grim: Yeah! I’ve fulfilled my role, so you best not forget either.

Azul: Yes. We have an agreement.

Grim: Nyahaha. He’s getting’ rid of the proof and I get my paws on canned tuna. It was a great deal.

Ortho: -------Reboot complete. Program updated with no errors.

Ortho: …Everyone, thank you so much for today!

Grim: Yeah. Be grateful.

Ortho: To be satisfied with just one tuna can… Grim desires so little, he’s so nice!

Ortho: If Azul Ashengrotto sold the old part he was given, you could eat as many tuna cans as you liked.

Grim: Huh…?

Azul: Certainly not. It would be foolish to simply sell the famous genius Idia-san’s handmade magical parts.

Azul: I plan to utilize it under best conditions to increase its value.

Grim: Huh? Huh? With Ortho’s parts… H-How many tuna cans would it be worth?

Ortho: Who knows? Perhaps enough to fill the entire gymnasium with tuna cans?

Grim: Wh-What!?

Azul: Don’t underestimate it. If it was me, I could bring forth at least twice that in value.

Grim: Azul! You put me to such dangerous work, and just took the biggest prize for yourself!?

Choice:

He really cheated you there…

Aren’t you happy about getting your canned tuna?

Azul: There’s no harm. We both signed that splendid deal right? Alright, here’s your one can of high class canned tuna.

Grim: G-Grr~~!

Azul: Ahh, I’m so please to see you accept it with such pleasure.

 ------

Note: Idia uses an expression 腕の見せ所 which is similar to “Time to show what you’ve got”. He’s mostly just expressing his skillset here.

[enithinggoes]

The witch’s teachings, lesson 7.1- Leave something behind

I followed the witch’s plan, driving the cart we’d commandeered to a small nearby village and going with my companions to buy the required supplies, including wooden stakes, torches and lamp oil. But something in the back of my mind, call it an intuition, made me ask the witch for some time to visit the local church, to wich she raised an eyebrow and commented “huh… didn’t think you were the religious type, still, if you need to make peace with god, be my guest, just don’t take too long.”

When I got to the church, it was dark and there was a lone priest attending to it, almost bald but for a few grayed hairs forming a circle around the sides of his head, when our eyes met, his kind gaze turned to one of shock that, to his credit, he did his best to hide when he asked “what brings you here?”. Still, I was unconfortable with the way he looked at me and now something about the crosses and symbols bearing down on me seemed threatening so I merely said “5 coins for a bottle of holy water, please, and 3 more to not ask more questions” as I handed him the money.

Seems that was enough, as the priest quickly grabbed a bottle with a cross drawn on it and handed it to me without a word, maybe he wanted me to leave as much as I did. As I got out, I really felt that now, for better and for worse, I’d permanently moved from one side of the veil to another, and I wouldn’t be welcome back.

Next  we took off towards the capital, now more aware of the dangers of being seen closely I brought down the brim of my hat, thankfully the cover of night would protect me until we got close to the center. With my crossbow at my side and the clarity of the watcher, I honestly felt more confortable her on the road, with the company of the night and the forests and the creatures they would hide than I would with the stone and people of the towns, especially our current destination.

Nevertheless, duty called, and by 3 in the morning, we were at the entrance to the castle, it was decorated with drapes of red and purple and large, bright torches, like the eyes of a terrible monster with the large gate as its maw, I untied the horses, at the end of the day, they had nothing to do with this, so they were free to run if the bloodshed started sooner rather than later.

I rapped at the wooden gate, yelling “delivery from the inquisition!”, in just a few seconds two heavilly built and armored men opened the door, coming out and inspecting the wagon, their faces were covered by large helmets, clearly made to be imposing, painted red and purple much like the castle itself, there were only two thin slits for the eyes and I could not see anything inside. Nevertheless I could sense their intent, they saw through me easily, these wagons are never to be driven without security accompanying them, and all individual drivers are registered and known.

  That was fine and expected, the plan was never for the ruse to go very far, I hit the wood of the wagon as hard as I could and yelled “Go! Now!” as I dove behind it for cover, Morgana and Lyssa busted out, ready for battle, they fought the guards, though maybe outmatched in raw physical strenght and weight behind their attacks, they could beat them in agility and swordplay, Morgana gripped the middle of her blade tight with her off hand to move it with precision into the slit from which he saw and Lyssa used a distraction I created with a crossbow bolt to strike where the main part of her opponent’s armor connected with the helmet, taking advantage of the need for a joint for flexibility, master likely advised her on fighting oponents in plate armor during the ride.

The three of us headed deep into the castle, it was dark and surprisingly empty of any guards or servants, must have been because of “feeding time” as Morgana said, she asked me to try and “sense” the vampire through the many walls and rooms, and I could definetly feel something at the center of the building. “figures,” she snarked, “I could have guessed he’d want everything built around him,” we moved as efficiently as possible through the catacombs and soon came to a tall metal door with a heavy black padlock on it, with two men, also in heavy armor, holding halberds straight up, still as stone.

We engaged them in combat, though Lyssa and Morgana did most of the heavy lifting, these seemed even stronger than the last guards, when she saw an opening, the witch dove between them and gripped the part of the padlock that connected it to the latch, I saw the inside of her hand glow red-hot, in less than a second the metal had dissapeared and she turned to us, ordering “stay here and fight them until I come back!” and moving into the darkness.

Lyssa and I were capable of holding our own against the knights, but scoring a killing blow seemed almost impossible with them covering each other’s openings, she turned to me and said “you’ve gotta go ahead or she’s going to die. I’ve got it here.”

“Wait what? What do you mean?” I asked, too focused on dodging a halberd strike to look at her.

“Are you kidding me? Telling us to stay behind, purposefully not telling us how she’s going to fight him, trying to tell you you didn’t need her anymore before we came here? Come on Cato, I don’t need weird eye powers to figure out her intentions here, she wants to die killing that vampire.” She half-scolded.

“Will you be alright?” I asked, preparing to find a way to get past the guards.

“Just. Trust me with this, ok?” She turned to me and gently smiled before charging forward with a battlecry.

In that moment, while she attacked one of the guards, I focused my mind on the other and managed to stun him with a psychic attack before dashing between them, yelling back “Stay safe and don’t die!”, to which Lyssa answered “You too!”

 As I ran in search of my master, I could sense where she was before being even close and watch the battle through her eyes until I got there, in front of her there was a man, he wore a powdered wig and had arresting red eyes and a devilish smile, as he looked at Morgana, his eyes didn’t meet hers, but were fixed above her, like he couldn’t be bothered to confront her directly, he was lazily holding a golden scepter with a purple sphere on the top, “isn’t it nice when your inconveniences come straight to your door asking to be dealt with? Now, before we begin, do you have anything you wish to say to me?”.

Morgana didn’t answer, she just stared at him with killing intent, untill she extended her hands towards him, spouting flames in his direction, he lept upwards into the shadows of the high ceiling, laughing as he taunted “very well then.”

He moved unbelievably fast, attacking the witch from all directions, she was able to keep him at a distance by firing short bursts of flame whenever he swooped close,  but I knew it hurt her to use those powers for long.

Eventually she switched to using her shortsword, barely able to block his strikes with the scepter, after a few skirmishes she quickly stepped back, dodging an attack before slicing the vampire’s hand off, unfortunately he didn’t even flinch, just clenching his other fist and punching inhumanly hard straight at Morgana, she had just enough time to try to defend herself with her off hand, knocking her into the wall at the back of the room.

She did her best to get up as Lucius nonchalantly walked towards her, clapping with a hand that was already growing back as he moved, “Most people would have been splattered on that stone right now, you’re strong, too strong.” He grabbed her by the neck, pushing her agains the wall, “I don’t like it.”

"Still, is that all? You came into my home, with the intention of killing me, with this?” his laugh reeked of venom as he tried to quickly choke the life out of her.

I could hear a powerful thought in Morgana’s mind, “Oh I’ve got a lot more to show, I just needed to get us close to the far wall before I did this, I’m only getting one shot, sorry Cato.” And her arms started glowing again, white and bright like a star as she held onto the vampire’s arm tighter, tighter, she’d make sure he wouldn’t survive this by releasing all the power she held at once, blowing both her and the tyrant to smithereens.

[chibinightowl]

On the Clock

For @iphoenixrising, because someone is going through a rough spell and could use some cheering up. Love you, dear!! Beta read by @themandylion.

~*~*~

The pile of folders lands on his desk with a resounding thud, one that’s too loud in the quiet office. Tim gives them a blank look, then raises his already exhausted gaze to his assistant. “What are those?”

“The rest of the Hennessy files you asked for.” Tam returns his stare with a tired one of her own.

“There were more?”

“Apparently.”

“Damn, this is going to take all night.” Tim scrubs a hand across his face. “And yes, I know this is what happens when I stretch myself too thin,” he adds before Tam can get a word in.

“You said it, I didn’t.” She removes the pitifully small pile of paperwork from his outbox. “Would you like me to order dinner for you?”

It’s on the tip of his tongue to say no, that he has plans with Dick and Jason tonight, but those have just gone down the drain, along with any chance of falling into bed with his boyfriends. This acquisition is too important to WE and there’s only so much he can foist off on underlings before someone at his level needs to review things.

“Yeah,” Tim says with a sigh. “A bento from that little place on 5th and Washington would be great. I can eat those with one hand.”

“Sounds good. In the meantime, do you want a smoothie? I need to stretch my legs.”

He wishes he could too. “Yeah, something with spinach and kale in it. I don’t think I can stomach anymore coffee right now.”

Tam laughs as she heads toward the door, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. “I think that’s the first intelligent thing I’ve heard you say all week.”

Tim ignores her in favor of picking up his phone. The message he sends to Dick and Jason via their group text is short and to the point.

Something came up and I’m working late tonight. Have dinner without me.

He mutes the phone immediately after and places it facedown in a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. He’s sure to be yelled at about it later, but those consequences are minor compared to what he’ll deal with if he doesn’t get this done.

Sighing, Tim settles in and gets to work.

~*~

Dick’s phone rings almost immediately after he reads Tim’s text.

“You see that message, Dickiebird?” Jason says in lieu of a greeting.

“I did.”

“What’re we gonna do about it? This is the third date in a row he’s pulled this shit on.”

Sighing, Dick runs a hand through his hair and stares blankly out his kitchen window. “I heard from Damian earlier that Tim’s struggling to keep up with things at WE. He sounded a little too gleeful about it.”

“Since when do we take the brat’s word for anything about Tim?”

“Since Alfred was right there and nodding along with everything he said.”

Jason growls low, clearly not happy with that bit of news. “Okay, so instead of punishment, how about we give our little bird some good, old-fashioned TLC?”

The thought of them taking it slow, dragging it out so that Tim can feel every single thing they do to him... Drink down his whines and moans and pleas for more.

“Yeah, I’m down for that. I’ll make a call to Lucius and see what I can find out about this particular project. If it’s got a legit deadline, then I don’t want to interrupt him.”

“Babe’s gotta sleep at some point,” Jason tries, but Dick is already shaking his head.

“He does, but if we’re the reason why he passes out in front of the board, then that’s on us for keeping him awake longer than he should be. I’ll call you back.”

“Fine.”

Dick chuckles at the put-out tone in Jason’s voice. Sounds like he has some plans of his own that he may need to redirect if things go south. The thought is not entirely unpleasant, but his body yearns for the third person who’s supposed to share his bed.

Swiping through his contact list, he finds the number he needs and calls it. “Hey, Lucius! It’s Dick. Do you have a couple minutes?”

Five minutes later, he hangs up and calls Jason back.

“The deadline is two days from now. What’s your plan?”

He can just see the razor-sharp grin on Jason’s face as he lays it out for him and he’s soon sporting one of his own. Tonight is going to be so much fun.

~*~

Tim shuffles the folder aside, wondering how this is even his life. He’s supposed to be Red Robin, not some glorified paper-pusher. It’s late, so late that even the cleaning crew has left, and his body screams for some rest. For a brief second, he contemplates a quick patrol to get the blood flowing again, but the smart side of his brain shuts that idea down before it takes root.

It would be just his luck that tonight he ends up as street-pizza. No thanks. He’s pushed his luck enough today with canceling on Dick and Jason. If they so much as catch a hint that he’s running the rooftop highway, they’ll be on him in nothing flat.

Stretching, Tim raises his arms high and rolls his head from side to side, loosening the kinks in his neck. A massage sounds wonderful, as does a hot bath. Sleep still wins out though and he yawns as he picks up the last file. Well, it’s not the last one in the pile Tam brought earlier, but it’s the last one he’s reviewing before calling it a night and taking the elevator up to the penthouse. This is one of those nights he’s grateful that he doesn’t have to go far.

Tim focuses on the file, reading through the report and trying to make heads or tails of everything. Words and numbers blur together, and he starts to think that maybe he should just put this one to the side and deal with it after a few hours of sleep. Those thoughts vanish as the overhead lights go out, leaving only the glow from his computer monitor and the wall of windows behind him to see by. He’s instantly on alert, hand groping under his desk for the collapsed bo staff hidden there.

Hands grab him from behind, yanking his arms out and around the back of his chair in a rough hold. “Ah, ah, ah, Timmers,” a familiar voice chides. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

It’s Jason.

Rather than relaxing him, Tim struggles harder. If he’s here, then that means Dick is too.

Fuck.

Read the rest on Ao3.

[aristocracyhq]

WOW guess who fell asleep just as we opened for plotting asdfghjk HEYOO!! i’m  R and i will be playing the painfully elegant narcissa and the absolute dork that is james!! below the cut is a little bit abt hogwart’s princess. like this and i’ll mssg you for plotting !

wait a second, is that HER, the PUREBLOOD sorted into SLYTHERIN house? their name is NARCISSA BLACK but they share a startling likeness with SOFIA CARSON. in their FIFTH year, they’re known as the PRINCESS, probably because they are CLASSY but ARROGANT. i wonder what side they’ll end up on at the end.

TW: EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Narcissa Ophelia Black is the youngest Black sister and easily the most spoilt, Narcissa has always been the apple of her parents eye.

The fact that her sisters were named after stars, heavenly bodies that go through hardships for millions of years to form, whereas she was named after a delicate flower…tells you straight away that she stood out from her sisters.

Cissa’s mother was determined to create Cissa in her own imagine, the perfect pureblood young lady. she made her learn French and Italian, she’s been taking ballet lessons since she was a kid, every article of clothing she ever wears is scrutinized by her mother. she was definitely emotionally abused by her, but will never ever talk about that to anyone. i think it’d be pretty well-known in the pureblood society, but no one will be able to dare ask or say anything to her.

Cissa had been looking forward to going to hogwarts because she thought once she was far away, her mother would not be able to control her life anymore. this didn’t exactly work out and her mother is still pulling many strings in her life.

People outside of her family knew her as the quiet Black sister. She never voices her opinion on anything too loudly, and never at all when she isn’t around her closest friends.

She knows that most people think they know exactly the kind of person she is: a quiet, narcissistic, spoilt brat. She will the first one to admit that she’s all of those things, but also so much more.

She’s powerful, but quietly so. she doesn’t actively show dominance, she commands respect in little ways. She asserts her authority openly only when necessary. she is perfectly content to let others feel they are in control, all the while pulling the strings

Highly manipulative, she uses her femininity to manipulate. She lets others think that she’s the weak link of the family, the little sister that must be protected because hey, underestimation is always an advantage.

Incredibly observant. She notices everyone and everything around her, she’s good at deciphering people. Then uses this knowledge to her advantage.

She’s a kind, protective and caring person. She only shows this side to few, but she is. ( the circle of people she shows this side to became much smaller after the first war (basically only included Lucius and Draco) but rn it’s big enough.)

She’s been brought up to believe in the superiority of pure-bloods, encouraged since she was a child to treat those of ‘dirty’ blood as her inferiors. But Cissa is an intelligent person, and she knows that rationally if two people have the same amount of magical ability then there should be no concept of inferior and superior. she has these rational thoughts on the back of her mind sometimes. But rationality isn’t something you’ll find a lot of in the Black household. her parents might dote on her and love her to the moon & back but she knows that the things she speaks of would be considered treasonous.

while I don’t think blood purity really matters to her, loyalty does. She’s not loyal to any cause, only to people HER people, her family. If her family has decided to side with the dark lord, she knows exactly what part she needs to play in this war.

in a nutshell: Family means the world to her. She will never voice those little thoughts if it meant she’d loose the thing most important to her.

Incredibly feminine and proud of it. She loves clothes & shopping and will never hide that. Her family always encouraged it, Cissa’s great fashion taste was always the talk in pureblood circles.

she will act as if she’s superior to you, because she might not believe in the superiority of purebloods but she will always believe her family to be practically royalty. even when compared to other pureblood families.

Only called Cissy by the black family. Only. Called Cissa by close friends.

Passive agressive as af.

closeted bisexual

she’s gotta a grumpy bengal cat named Perseus

she’s a prefect, and a part of the astronomy, latin, potions and slug club.

She’s actually incredibly intelligent, but will never show that off. She lets people think she’s the bimbo who only thinks about fashion, but her friends would know her true nature.

But yes her form of therapy is retail therapy don’t judge her

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Feat of Clay (Part 1)

“Sweet dreams, slime ball”

Out of the three two-parters so far, the two best ones have involved a villain with the word “face” in their name. Maybe if Red Claw had been Claw Face, we would have gotten a better conclusion?

Episode: 20 Robin: No Writers: Michael Reaves (story), Marv Wolfman (story/teleplay) Director: Dick Sebast Animator: Akom Airdate: September 8, 1992 Grade: A

Now this is more like it! It’s like the writing process of Prophecy of Doom was someone taking the Renuyu cream and dumping it all over Batman TAS, turning it into a blob. But then for this one, Marv Wolfman and Michael Reaves took that blob and meticulously sculpted it back into something awesome. We’ve seen from Pretty Poison what Michael Reaves can do, and back when we covered that episode, I gave most of the credit to Paul Dini, due to him being the only name I recognized at the time. That is part of why I love doing this blog series. I am learning so much more about the series than I would otherwise! I’m learning about different members of the creative team, breathing new life into the DCAU for me. I swear, it’s like watching something I’ve never seen before sometimes! Looking through Michael Reave’s episode resumé, I’m seeing some very mixed results, and he’s very much responsible for a future episode that many people seriously pan. But he’s also done a handful of potential top 10 material. This shows me that back when tv show episodes were ordered in bulk, it gave a lot less room to throw out potential bummers. When a standard 13-episode season is ordered, you can overshoot a little bit easier and then streamline the selection. I can’t even imagine never producing a show before, and then being told that I gotta make over 60 installments for the first run. I think that being a great writer is only partially about writing awesome things. It’s also knowing what to get rid of and what to cut down. I don’t care who you are, you’re not going to have good ideas always, and your mindset can be in a weird place for one day out of seven, causing something you regret.

Most of what stood out to me for this one was the sheer intensity of it, and I think that stands true for Char as well. She mentioned that the fight was pretty violent in parts, that the origin of Clayface was enjoyably gruesome/messed up beyond belief, and that Batman’s interrogation moment was batshit insane! Going through these aspects one by one, we first have the fight scene. The one that happens right after the phony Bruce Wayne tries to kill Lucius Fox (happy first appearance, by the way). I love the way that Batman just punts Germs (one of Roland Daggett’s thugs who is ironically a germaphobe) across the room, into a switch. It makes me consider doing a post called “Top 10 DCAU Kicks” or something. And then right after that, Germs tries to shove Batman’s head between notches on some interconnecting, spinning gears.

The amount of times Batman comes so close to death during even little scenes like this against ordinary thugs… Like, I get that he’s Batman, and he’s awesome, and he’s not to be messed with, but I feel like he must be so settled into the mindset of “I could die any night”. I know I’ve talked in the past about Bruce having a hard time forming meaningful relationships sometimes, but this adds to that. It’s not just a matter of keeping a secret or physically exerting yourself so often. Being Batman is also about accepting the very real possibility of a gruesome death, no matter what you’ve got scheduled for the rest of the week.

Clayface’s origin is kind of a fight scene as well I guess, and it’s no less pulse-pounding. Roland Daggett mentions to his thugs that he wants them to get rid of Matt Hagen (who was on a magazine cover a couple episodes back), as he has “outlived his usefulness”. They know that he will come around the area, looking for more of that face cream, because it has made him an addict. And it’s not even a simple mental addiction, like how I am addicted to cereal (totally legit). It apparently has chemically addicting properties, and on top of that, Matt obviously has some huge self esteem issues. Not to say that I blame him. He does sorta have a face that only a mother could love.

He’s not just concerned with looking “attractive” for when he’s acting, though, he doesn’t want anyone to see him at all when the face cream wears off. He yells at his best friend, Teddy, to shut the door of his dressing area in a hurry so that no one catches a glimpse of what he looks like. It’s sad to see Matt and Teddy interacting the way they do. They’re supposed to be friends, but Matt has obviously let his situation get to his head, much like what can happen with drug addicts in the real world. And with Matt at probably the worst he’s ever been, Roland Daggett is nothing but a heartless monster. These crime bosses in this show piss me off! 

This is the second episode that we’ve had which has tackled the subject of drug addicting in a very respectable way. If we didn’t get the heaviness and great story with the drug elements, it would seem as preachy. But they use the idea of drug addiction as a plot element rather than revolving the plot around that. It helps make the story flow like Matt Hagen’s eventual skin. And speaking of that, to apparently kill Matt Hagen, what the thugs do when he arrives at the location they predict he will, they take a big container of the Renuyu face cream and dump it all over his body. I think. That’s what I always thought was happening, but it has come to my attention that maybe they were just aiming for directly into his mouth. That is honestly just despicable of them.

That silhouette has way more of a dramatic effect on me than just showing it would have. 

Injuring him in one of the nastiest ways possible (basically turning his body into liquid shit) with the very thing running his life, and ultimately destroying it. If Matt never found that face cream, he probably would have been alright. Maybe not a famous actor, but he could have gotten by. Probably found love. Not this way. At least, not for now. I’ll admit, I really couldn’t tell you if Matt Hagen was a decent person before getting into this mess, and I will talk a little bit more about that next time. But to say he deserved what he got? No way! And this is what makes him another oh-so-tragic rogue for the DCAU.

Okay, and then can we talk about that interrogation scene where Batman stabs the pointy ears of his Batwing through a thug’s car, rips the door off, and then grabs him by the wrist with this little robotic extendable arm, high above the rooftops of Gotham City?

Jesus Christ, Batman! I get that someone is impersonating you (and this time it was in purpose, not coincidental like with Man-Bat in episode 1), and that it may piss you off a little bit, but watch how you’re swooping, man! You’re gonna sever that guy’s wrist and turn him into pudding as he hits the concrete below! Ha, no, but in all seriousness, this scene was just awesome. Probably the most hardcore Batman has gotten yet when it comes to getting the answers that he wants. Even though the guy passed out before he could actually get them… And then I love how when the cops surround Batman (Gotta note their nonchalant reactions too…like, “Batman, c’mon, man, we’ve talked to you about this!”), he releases the guy by dropping him into a rooftop swimming pool which has gotta be several stories below.

Imagine if his aim was just a little bit off! Batman’s like, “Hey, the sign only said ‘No Diving’.” See, this is why you keep your rooftop pool covered when you’re not using it. Hell, the dude probably shit his pants in that pool out of fear. I would have!

Feat of Clay (Part 1) also brought up the subject of fame, and the repercussions of it, much like how Beware the Gray Ghost did, but we take a much different approach to the character, one that I will be going more in detail with…next time! How will Feat of Clay (Part 2) hold up? I’ll give you a hint: TMS.

Watching this episode with Char and noticing her confusion as Bruce acts so shady was perfect.

I don’t remember their eyes glowing like this when I took the screenshot! Their eyes must have reflected the camera flash...

Lucius Fox debut episode. Don’t know much about him yet, though.

Picture that case as a pizza box.

Matt Hagen movie poster. If only the poor guy realized that he still had the ability to play these parts, even if the public found out about his face.

Him licking his lips here was a little odd.

I think that this might be our first time that we’ve had a villain so established and successful among the public. The corruption of his company doesn’t seem to be common knowledge.  Look at his foreboding building!

Ed Asner plays Daggett, an original character to this show. No, I’m not gonna make any “soulless ginger” jokes. What is this, 2012?

There is no way that stuff wouldn’t be all over the conveyor belt.

More satisfying typing noises! Yeah, baby!

The shittiest shots in the episode. Happen as Batman zooms by the camera in the Batwing.

You’ve pissed Batman off if you see this face.

It’s one thing to frame Batman, it’s another to frame Bruce Wayne! And unlike a lot of superheroes, Bruce Wayne is a big enough public figure where it would make total sense for criminals to frame him.

We’ll be seeing more of what kind of monster he’s been turned into next time!

Char’s grade: A

Next time: Feat of Clay (Part 2) Full episode list here!

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s5ep2 “Trespassers” Personal Review

“Maybe there's still good people left in Gotham.”   “Some say the darker angels of our nature are unlocked and set free.”  Warning spoilers below   

JIM GORDON  Mainland wants the GCPD to do nothing in the case of the children. “Your dedication to your job is admirable, Captain, but you lack perspective.” Jim Gordon says he needs supplies not opinions but Mainland says, nope. They won´t risk pilots (theirs or Wayne Enterprise´s). “So you can save a few lives for thousands, but I can't?”  Touché. Jim got a point there.  HARVEY BULLOCK * Shows some (un)healthy pessimism.  “IF we get back.” / “Check out the basement in a creepy hotel by myself? Sure. What could go wrong, right?” * Still has the best lines: “Why would anyone be a cop in a world like this?” “Well, the Halloween shop was all out of gas masks, so it was either this or sexy nurse.”  * “Oh, my God. Oh. Not good. Oh, God. This This is not good.” And after having swiped through the teeth he still picks up the severed finger that is obviously a severed finger. Honey, what are you doing? The LOGERQUIST HOTEL Scene was awesome. Some reminiscence to earlier season, a side quest that gives you break from the greater mess. More please. > It´s just awesome that they just pulled the leaver and let them slide into a campy/classy horror. You just have to scream at the screen. Don´t leave the kids alone! Don´t split up! Don´t trust the other kid! How about you go for the lamps and try to destroy them instead of banging the door! (Harvey Bullock smashing the windows was a clever moment though, gotta give him that)  Just the whole atmosphere of that set alone. Love!  > This showed actual detective work and brought the plot and chara points of the macrocosm into  this microcosm  !!!!!!! It´s not only Harvey Bullock being weary of being sent into the basement (what could go wrong) that ties back to him not being keen to be shot standing next to Jim because Jim got the bounty on his head. It´s going right for the lingering pessimism that Harvey has been expressing (If we get back..) and him lecturing Jim that Jim´s methods (not killing Penguin) aren´t the right way for the mess they are in.  They have Harvey Bullock being so perceptive to point out the lit candle right away. “Jim, we're not alone. Someone lit that candle. “ To which JIM GORDON reacts with HOPE!    “In the old west, settlers used to leave a candle burning to lead others to safety. Maybe there's still good people left in Gotham.”  He´s not only playing the same record that he played the whole last episode (and I´m not shading him there, his attitude is great in that situation, otherwise what would there be left but despair for him and everyone else) but he´s also referencing HISTORY .. and I vaguely remember that this is not the first time he did that [[DOES AYONE have a better memory than I do? PLS tell me]] which brings back memories of early Jim Gordon that solves cases and Ed´s riddles. They at the same time concede hope a victory, they get to save the two kids and Gabriel but Jim Gordon has to leave the other boy behind: “Not everyone wants your help, Jim Gordon.”  IVY PEPPER   “The plants came to my protection. “ Ivy, how about you asked them to stop. “But this park ever since we were cut off from the rest of the world, it's been behaving differently. There are things growing here I have never seen before.” Okay fucks sake, I so hope that this is not true. First we get Ivy magically aged then we get Ivy stealing some potion aka none of her love for plants and research and experiments that I wanted to see and now she should be afraid of them even? How about no?! Okay, I´m glad they didn´t go there. “You know, I wasn't lying when I said this park is changing.I'm feeding the earth with these wretched creatures. It consumes them, and then it flourishes.”  >> Okay I can´t say that I like the “Ivy is a maniacal, cold-blooded killer.” but the mere suggestion of Ivy being intimidated and patronized by her plants scared me enough to be happyish about it. I´d still like to see her be just with her plants. Bring back her mushroom farm! Scratch all that murder business she had going on with Gotham and its people. Give her some space and place to care about her plants and learn more about them and okay if someone disturbs them or tries to harm them, and then bring out the murder. Maybe it might go into a direction like that now..... ?  Ivy more and more retreating into the branches of that tree, while talking to Bruce got me intrigued. “Where I'm going is none of your business. Best hurry. That root will die if left out in the open for too long.” Her being so mysterious, and ambiguous about if she can be trusted suits her. Much, much more than a snarly direct threat of murder.  She is her own entity, that does as she pleases and everything else if left to wonder what that might be! That would be a good attitude. QUESTION:  “One thing is for sure though the seed will alter her forever.” “How?” “Some say the darker angels of our nature are unlocked and set free.” So this “some say” does not sound like a general statement about the nature of humanity it does sound like some people talk about the effects of this particular plant on humans. Which begs the question: Who says this? The plants? Do they whisper to her? Is it meant indirectly as in the research she did told her that? Or are there actually other people with knowledge over matters like this? Are there records, writings, research with footnotes? Did Ivy read them? Did she do her own experiments. Who or what is this referring to. I need answers!! 

Also: Ivy is so ridiculously overpowered in this show, how the hell did those guys manage to lock her up? Also2: Is the guys story about them coming for their magic and getting killed true? Ivy at first  helping people? After all the nurse knew about her and thought she would help? Was she kind and people got greedy, demanded too much, wanted to take advantage of her? Then again she was not known as the helpful fairy but as witch, so there might have been something that got her that reputation .. but there also had to be something that got her a reputation as healer instead of solely being a murderous killer witch?  EDWARD NYGMA * How could he believe locking himself up would work if he just had the key in his pocket? This should have been some timed release system that didn´t give him access to the key until after a couple of hours. * Uhm, can TANK from the Street Demonz gang please stick around. I like him. I like those two together. That´s fun. “Did I, uh hit you, et cetera? Any idea why?” * Okay so sleepwalking or for him rather wakewalking Ed has orchestrated the demise of the Street Demonz in order to get some more chaos and war and likely Oswald´s head? Great. * “How did I seem? Was I confident, flamboyant, charisma for days? Or a little more conservative, kind of repressed, a little nerdy?” “You seemed stiff, man of few words. In a daze, actually.” “Interesting.” * “Well, whoever did just started one hell of a war.” Tank can you please stick around, I need a rough biker that gets to the heart of things like that on Eds side.   PREDICTION? Oswald put a bounty on Jim Gordan´s head. The criminals want to kill him. “Edward” likely put an indirect bounty on Oswald Cobblepot´s head, ciminals will want to kill them. However it seems Barbara Kean makes this situation less equal with protecting Jim Gordon from criminals and tightening the thumb screws on him in order to get Jim to kill Oswald. It just seems everyone´s best bet is to go get rid of Oswald right now. And I´m gonna be disappointed if Oswald doesn´t change back to his clever self and manipulate the situation in a way that ties his and Jim´s life back together  … SET DESIGN Yes this is a character on its own and it´s marvelous. * The Wallpaper in Edward Nygma´s bathroom is pretty. * Is that a can of beer on the window still next to Tank in the bathtub?? * Damn every place Ivy stays at is just eerie, beautiful and just stunning. * The halls of Logerquist Hotel are awesome and the perfect atmosphere. FunFact: John Logerquist founded Gotham in 1635 

* Someone had a field trip with the LIGHTNING [Edit: Link]  in this. First the bright lights in the conversation with Barbara Kean and Jim Gordon in the Sirens club, then the Lightning used as weapon  at the hotel. This all should be super obnoxious, like glaring out a charas whole face during a dialogue .. what .. but it all just works, and works really well. Damn.  Honorary mention: The light bulb and welding sparks 11:40 * Those safe houses that Lucius Fox set up looked like a dream again. Just like Lee with that train, or Jim visiting the retired Carmine. I just wait for someone to wake up, shatter the bubble, destroy the niceness. It slightly creeps me out every time they do that.   * “What do I do, just swallow it?” Okay Bruce Wayne should have told SELINA KYLE everything that Ivy said about that thing. This is not an informed medical decision: Me not moving vs. probably not me but moving is a relevant thing to know. Not that I think it would change anything for Selina, but they should have laid open all the information and it bugs me. It might kill you is just half of the story. It might change who you are even if it works is a significant thing to know about. * GABRIEL I literarily can´t believe he is still alive. That´s the kind of character that usually has the shortest shelf life. * Also how beautifully phrased was Bruce Wayne´s initial distrust towards Ivy is. “You'll forgive me if I find it hard to do so.” * “God, what have I done” Acting on point, acting over all point, acting is said point .. * “I'll tell you what! I'll take his head, and you can have the rest of him!” I giggled. (Context: He doesn´t need more than Jim´s head to collect the bounty from Penguin)

[justanotherdumpingground]

Chapter Reviews: March 12-16, 2019 + ATV's Comeback

High School Story: Class Act Chapter 5:

Did I just support Rory's campaign after supporting the twin's? That I did. I laughed at the options to hold the dance off at the parking lot and pick a heartbreaking ballad. That would be an interesting choice.

I'm starting to dislike the twin for disrupting Rory's campaign. Not once did Rory disrupt the twin's bake sale, and the fact that the twin had the gall to not wait shows their foul play. I debated a bit to supoort the twin or Rory, and ended up going with the latter. Not to mention that the twin's support for more sports falls flat because there's more emphasis on it than cheer and band. Back in the first trilogy, Book 1 focuses on getting a new quarterback after Brian transfered to Heart, and Book 2 has Ashley Faris diverting funding from cheer and band to the basketball team as part of her embezzlement scheme with her brother.

Skye's birthday party is sweet, though I don't want mine held at a graveyard. The irony is that there's a cemetery in the same street I live in. Anyway, what's more important is that Skye's happy. She deserves true happiness, away from her horrible family.

Right now, I'm just curious to see how the trip with friends turns out. I wonder whether there will be more election-related drama, even though I dread it.

The Heist: Monaco Chapter 15:

Yes! I succeeded in getting Sonia to my side. For a moment, I thought she'll stay loyal to Ansel. And that premium scene with her is hot. It's like I finally stole her heart after she stole mine. So glad I picked her as my main love interest because she's the one I find most compelling. Even better was when she distracted Ansel and helped me escape.

Glad to see my training with Jones and Ulrich's gloves paid off. They were worth the diamonds because I got to see my MC being badass and making good use of important tools for the heist. I even stole a necklace that looks like Zenobia's along with the diamond. And the scene where I called Carlisle out for his exploitation of customers was much needed to blow off steam towards him.

The premium escape scene was really badass as well. Seeing Rye and Eris escape in style was cool, and having Fabien drive the main trio to safety was a relaxing calm before the storm. Now all I gotta do was punch Ansel in the face. It's now or never.

Desire & Decorum Chapter 12:

The corgi's back! I missed him! Just kidding. That's just another corgi with the same model as the one in TRR. Nevertheless, I miss the TRR corgi, and it's nice to see some Welsh because it's not a widely spoken language. Too bad I didn't watch the street performers, but after seeing how many of them have recycled models from TC&TF, I cry a little bit inside.

Anyway, it was fun being deceptively polite to Duke Richards and snarky at the same time. Makes me feel good about playing this series. Oh, and Felicity's back even though she's meh.

If there's one thing this book should do regarding the conspirators led by Duke Richards, it's to do justice to the showdown against them. It better not be like The Junior, where Nathan monologues and gets easily exposed, and the clues don't give any special advantages besides putting Beau and/or Kassidy in jail. Seeing that it closely involves the MC being married to Duke Richards, I say have that duke killed in the end.

America's Most Eligible Chapter 9:

Honestly, Piper's still the same smug snake like before. Even when her new show is doing well, I still don't trust her.

After seeing Eden wanting to confess her feelings to Kiana, I say why not? At that time, I thought she could get eliminated, so last chance, perhaps? Even after I've been proven wrong, I still don't regret my decision. It was sweet to see Eden mustering her courage.

Man, Bianca gets done dirty in All Stars, brought back only to have just one premium scene and she gets eliminated this chapter or earlier. I seriously wonder whether or not Pixelberry disregards the potential she brings just because she's female, and PB just wants to cater to its "target audience" despite their illogical demands. Anyway, she deserves better than this.

I really should be careful of Ivy not honoring our deal, especially since I have a negative relationship with her. Nevertheless, Slater gets eliminated, leaving me with one less tough competitor to deal with. The funny thing is that he's still friends with me. Let's see if he and Ivy wind up being interchangeable because of their pragmatism.

The Elementalists Chapter 1:

The opening scene with the girl Goeffe tried to protect and Discount Dorian Pavus got me thinking that the new book's plot will focus on the nine masters of each attunement. From the fight between them and his assumption that the other masters are weak for not realizing their potential, it seems that the nine elements rests on some sort of delicate balance, and the villain wants to use his powers to the hightst potential possible.

Anyway, back to Penderghast. I'm so glad Atlas and Aster have enrolled. I can't wait to see more of them, especially since Aster was severely sidelined in Book 1. I was shocked and amused to see that Greygarden Waithe looks like Yusuf Konevi with blue hair, blue skin, and yellow eyes. Boy, Pixelberry sure loves recycling character models. On another note, I hope I get to see more of the dynamics between the different races of the setting, especially since Aster mentioned the Wand Wars being a sour point in relations between humans and wood nymphs. It's too good of an opportunity for Pixelberry to pass.

I'm thinking of renaming the friend group from Five Stars to something else, probably The Week, with each member for each day of the week. As for the tour around Penderghast, I encouraged Atlas and Aster to focus on their studies. They're in a place of learning, so they should make the most of their enthusiasm for learning. I know Aster's the kind of person who wants to learn more, so that's a plus.

I like the element symbols on the choices. It makes me easier to choose which kind of spell depending on the situation at hand. Especially when it comes to the environment. It's helpful.

So we can get impression points with Discount Dorian Pavus, eh? Well, He's probably lying when he said that he knew MC and Atlas's parents, but I also think it means impression points will have more impact than before. I hope this new villain has a complex characterization and is very effective at his actions. So far, he has a colorful personality, which is better than Raife Highmore, who is bland and forgettable.

Ride or Die Chapter 9:

Why does it sound like Mona traded one undesireable situation (jail time, which shouldn't be bad for her) for another (ending up with the Mercy Park Crew)? It doesn't help that she has no problems continuing her life of crime. And why destroy a functioning car even if it's old? I swear, she doesn't have much of a personality besides being a criminal who doesn't regret her actions, but then again, I pick her out of "pity" and not because of her personality.

Because I sided with Darius, he visited my MC as well as calling her in the previous chapter. As part of me roleplaying (or trying to) her as an informant dedicated to justice, I told him to just trust me, since the Brotherhood is implied to be the antagonists, and he better stay away from being collateral damage.

Colt and Kaneko, you idiots! I get that the Brotherhood is E.V.I.L., but recruiting Salazar despite how much of a snake he is? Hooray for MPC logic! Another reason to throw them under the bus, though it's part of my plan all along anyway.

Open Heart Chapter 5:

I enjoy the friend group of this series, but I also worry that this competition for the diagnostics team position will jeopardize their friendship. As for Aurora, I told the group that she's not as bad as people say. Despite her aloof personality, disregard of small talk, and an unacceptable remark, there's more to her than meets the eye. She resents being associated with her aunt, is actually good with patients like Annie, and makes no attempt to ruin oter people's performances. It's extremely naïve to assume she shouldn't be a complex character, given her understandable annoyance of being seen as Harper's niece and hidden depths with Annie.

Hello, familiar faces. I kinda laughed at Senator Lucius, Kyle Garza, and Percy Mendoza's faces at the baseball match. Pity I didn't buy the premium outfit, but thr baseball manager's so darn relatable on his lack of familiarity with medical terms.

So, Rafael is a love interest? Not surprised because of his popularity among the fanbase. Didn't pick the premium option to fly with him, so I watched on YouTube, and it was okay. I get to know a bit about him and that he looks up to his uncle, which is nice. Not to mention that the sunset view is beautiful.

More thoughts on Across the Void's return:

As I've said earlier, I'm not excited for it to return. I'm wary of Pax and Eos for being nuisances, the love interests lacking sufficient development for me to care for them, and the Vanguard vs Jura conflict lacking enough focus to the point that I don't know enough of them to care. Maybe Pixelberry will fix this issue by focusing more on the gray vs gray conflict they've set up. After all, this story is supposed to be an adventure that allows us to experience various areas of the conflict.

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S3E13

Cue all the “Face/Off” jokes for this arc.  All of them.

The rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order.  They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized. 

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*both immediately start fawning over Smol Bruce in the Netflix thumbnail*

“Previously on Gotham...”  Some bullshit.

SOME BS!

“What you call sanity... it’s just a prison in your minds.”  That is such an edgelord line, Oh my God!

*snaps fingers along with "Papa Oom Mow Mow” by Gary Glitter*

Why are they sampling “Elvira”?

AN:  “Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys actually sampled this song.  This version of the song is a cover and the original is by the Beach Boys.

“Three nines, and joker’s wild.”  *rolls eyes*

*sarcastically*  Geez, I wonder whose episode it is...

*laughs*

[Dwight appears]  *in best Christian Bale Batman voice*  Schmiff!  Thomas Schmiff!  He’s a paranoid schizophrenic from Arkham!

*starts mouthing along with song*

What just happened? 

They had to get in.

Yeah, I know, but how did that guy suddenly switch over to their side?

He was working for them the whole time.

OK.

*Dwight starts maniacally laughing once he finds Jerome’s body*  Oh damn... that’s a damn good laugh.

That is a really good laugh

*jams along with opening theme*

Does it open up with them stealing the body?  That better be where it opens up.

Yeah, it’s when they steal the body.

*smiles*

*Jim and Harvey find the empty vessel covered with the symbol*  Oh what the shit...

That's their little cult symbol.  Which has been popping up since a few episodes after Jerome’s death in S2, and you see that everywhere and you go “Wait a minute!”

*smiles when Lucius appears*

Is he security for Arkham or what?

No, he’s R & E.  Yeah, he still works for Wayne-

Ohhh OK...

-but he's like back up for Lee at the GCPD.

Oh OK.

And I’m like “Wait?  You’re also an ME?”  Everybody can be an ME in this show!

Everybody’s got like 15 different conflicts of interest on this show.

I know.

Nobody should be allowed to investigate anything.

*chuckles*

Where the hell are we?

That’s Wayne Manor.

I know that actor [who plays Cole] somewhere!  I know that voice!

I don’t know that actor.

AN:  He’s played by P.J. Marshall, who was in “Luke Cage” and was the cop that always got on Kit Darling in the first half or so of “American Horror Story:  Freak Show”

Alfred looks like he’s ready to punch a bitch.  *laughs*

He looks like he’s about to lay that guy the hell out.

I know.

And they established in the last episode that they [Bruce and Alfred] really like Selina and her mom coming back together.

Ohhh OK.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  I [Cole] would never hurt a woman.”  *both give a dubious look*

“However, I [Cole] would feel justified in giving the police enough evidence so that your little girlfriend [Selina] could only talk to her mama every other Thursday through a screen for the next 40 years.”  Go to hell, dude.

*whispers*  He’s [Bruce] so much Batman!

“So, you [Bruce] give Maria the money, she gives it to me; I’m [Cole] out of your lives.  Cash, obviously.”  The only thing you’re owed, dude, is a bullet between the eyes.

Now see, look at this pose [of Bruce thinking in his chair].  Look at that pose.  Oh my gosh, that’s a Michael Keaton pose!

That is!

Oh my gosh...

“He [the cult follower Jim and Harvey arrested] should have been taken to a hospital.”  Oh yeah, and Jim and Lee are like *imitates two cats fighting each other while aggressively clashing hands together*

Why wasn’t he taken to a hospital?!?

“James Gordon.  The James Gordon.... wow.  It’s actually you.”  You sure know how to pick ‘em, Dwight.

Y’know, these extras playing the cult members must be having the time of their lives.  It’s like “Yeah!  We get to wear crazy hair and outfits!“

Oh yeah.  They’re gonna be like chewing the scenery within an inch of its life.

Oh yeah!

Look at that dude’s crazy eyes though!

I know!  He could have played Renfield in “Dracula”

I know.

*Dwight sets up his workshop with another cult member*  Looks like Rufio fell on hard times.

*Dwight strokes Jerome’s cheek*  Don’t do thaaattt....

Ohhhh my God.... LIFE!  LIFE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!?  GIVE MY CREATION LIFE!

LIIIIIIFFFFEEEEEE!!!

*both laugh*

*Dwight laughs*  Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...

GOD HE’S [Dwight] JUST HAVING SO MUCH FUN!  *laughs*

You know they’re getting paid like really well.

Oh I’m sure!

“’Unsurprisingly, there have already been calls "for the mayor's resignation. "The clearly disturbed Mayor Cobblepot-’”  ‘Clearly disturbed?’  HOW LONG did it take you to realize that?

“Mayor Crumblepot.”  *stifles a laugh*

“Is Ed here?”  *rolls eyes*

“Who cares what people think of the mayor?  The city runs itself.”  *chuckles*

You’re a dumbass!

“[Oswald] So get up, take a shower, do that disco vampire thing thing with your hair.”  *both crack up*

“[Barbara] Why are you helping me?”  Because you’re a walking garbage fire, Oswald, who needs all the help you can get.

*laughs*  Yes!

Get your priorities in order, Oswald.

*claps hands*  Duuuuuudde....

His [Bruce] voice is so deep and he’s such a smol bab!

I knowww!  I don’t know how old David is when they filmed this.  I think he’s like 16 or 17.

He’s a smol bab!

“Maybe they [the cult symbols] were here the whole time and we just didn’t notice..”   That’s probably a safe bet.

I’m pretty sure that’s the No Man’s Land map that they’re [Lucius is] using.

Niicee...

“That amount-”  “Would cause a power surge in the electric grid.”  “...I [Harvey] was about to say that would cause a power surge in the electric grid...”  *chuckles*

*chuckles*  Sure you were, Harvey.

“I’ll just... stay here... if that’s OK.”  Lucius, you’re amazing.

Feels like he’s the only person right now at the GCPD, besides Harvey, who has any common sense.

He’s great! 

Because I’m starting to really question what kind of goblins are currently inhabiting James Gordon’s brain.

It’s Season 3, I’m sure there’s a lot.

“Try turning it on and off.”  “I [Dwight] did!  3 times.”  *both laugh*

He’s the IT guy.

*laughs*  Have you tried turning it on and off again?

*pauses when Dwight electrocutes a guy for interrupting him*

Jesus God!  Was that a cattle prod?!?  What was that?!?

I don’t know.  Cattle prods are long and skinny though.

The hell was that?!?

They’re kinda like a fly swatter.

*Dwight starts cutting off Jerome’s face*  :[

Aauuuugghhh... nooooooooooo, we’re not doing this.

The production design and set for this [Dwight’s lab] is pretty cool, I gotta say.

Uh, somebody put that wire out before it sets fire to the whole place.

Oh please God!

“Holy smokes, is that Jerome?“  No, it’s Jeremiah.  *laughs*

Yeah, and they took his face...

*in unison*  Off!

*both laugh*

‘Cause they wanted to take his face...

*in unison*  Off!

*both laugh*

I couldn’t not, I’m sorry!

“Brothers and sisters, I [Dwight] promised you Jerome would return...”  *sing songs*  And I brought you his faaaccee!!

But it’s...

*in unison*  Off!

*both freaking lose it*

“The Prophet is here.”  But it’s just his face!

[breathing unsteadily]  *thumbs up*  Great.

“We are all... Jerome.”  Don’t think that’s gonna be good enough.

*The crowd takes to calling themselves Jerome*  Oh, OK.

“You’re Jerome.  And you...”  *laughs*  And you’re Jerome!  And you’re Jerome!  And you’re Jerome!

Oh, c’mon!  They were going for the obvious “I am Spartacus.”

WE ARE JEROME!  We are Jerome and so’s my wife!

OK, that actually worked better than I thought.

If he [Jerome] just gets straight off that [Lee’s] examination table, I am gonna flip shit!

:]

*points and yells excitedly when Jerome’s hand twitches*

“So, let’s find out who the traitor is, shall we?”  Jesus God...

“Good bluff.”  “Thank you, sir.”  That was awesome!

*softly*  I know...

And that was a bluff?!?

Yeah, there’s moments like that where it’s like “Man, Jim!  You’re a badass!” 

*chuckles*

*both chuckle when Barbara dramatically puts a hand to her chest*

“They don’t respect you, Oswald.  In fact, you probably want to kill Tommy Bones and the Duke.  Just clean house.”  *chuckles*

*both start to giggle when Oswald does*

“[Barbara] Do you really think I [Oswald] would be so easy to manipulate?”  YES!

YES!

YES!

YES YOU WERE!

YES!

You are not nearly as clever as you think you are, Oswald!  You are the Cersei Lannister of Gotham City!  You were down on the count for God knows how long.

For like an episode.

A lot happens in an episode!

True.  In the span of like 5 minutes probably.  I dunno, maybe like 10 or 15.

*shakes head*

“Your day is done, freak.”  *raises eyebrows in surprise*

“Then Nygma dies.”  “What?!?”  “Walk away quiet.  Maybe we’ll send him back in one piece.  We’ll even let you [Oswald] keep being mayor.”  *shakes head*  Hey look, you are that easy to manipulate.

Can we like take a shot every time Penguin goes into rage spitting mode?

Yeaaahhhh!!

Oh my gosh.  Take a shot!

See, Barbara just played you [Oswald] like a freaking fiddle, dude.

I’m sorry... the schadenfraude of it all.

*both end up discussing the correct pronunciation of ‘schadenfraude’

*mutters*  Freaking Germans...

*laughs*

I’m German [descent], I can make fun of myself.

He’s [the mole] doing a Batman voice.

“No one ever stops being a cop.  You [the mole] were here when Jerome and the Maniax attacked.”  ‘Maniax?’  That’s what they’re calling themselves?

Well, Jerome and his little group [in the beginning of S2] were like *in best Jerome voice*  “We’re the Maniax!” and whatever.

‘Maniax,’ with an X.  Because edgy.

No one can spell!

*Jim decides to switch from good cop to bad cop on the mole*  Oooh!

*Jim punches the mole across the face*  Jesus God!

*both freeze in shock when Harvey takes over for punching*

OH MY GOD, Jim’s just like *puts hands on head*  “Oh my God...”

I don’t think you’re allowed to do thaaat...

I mean, they bring it up in the show.  There’s certain interrogation laws that you have to follow.

Yeah, manhandling a suspect is a no-no!

“Damn...”  Damn instead.

She’s [Lee] like “Yeah, whatever.”  STONE COLD!

“[Jim] Don’t touch me [Lee]!”  *so done*

“Really?  Did I [Lee] not just see Harvey punch him in the face?”  *finger guns at screen in agreement*

“[Jim] You brought a wounded suspect into the precinct instead of taking him to the hospital, because you wanted to interrogate him.”  *claps hands with each word*  GO OFF, LEE!

Yes!

“Look, you [Lee] want to blame me [Jim] for Mario’s death, that’s fine.”  *so done*

“But don’t let your hatred of me turn you into something you’re not.”  And plus the funeral for Mario was a few days ago.

*claps hands with each word*  It’s way too soon!  It’s way too soon for her to be back at work!

I’m like “Lee, no!”

*sings*  Take a break!

Like I said, all of her character development comes from people screwing her over.

I know!

“[Jim] Don’t ever touch me [Lee] again or tell me what to do.”  You know, it’s your fault, Jim.  This is entirely your fault.

Yeah. It is.

“We’ve got a show to do, people!  And, as you know, the show must go on.”  *starts singing “The Show Must Go On” from “Moulin Rouge”*

*Jerome surprises Lee from behind the door*  Oh Jesus.

It’s allliiiiivveeee!!

“Hey, maybe you’re [Jerome] dreaming.  Try shooting yourself.”  Pfftt!

“Nah!”  *both chuckle*

*mouths along with Jerome saying “Lunatics AND idiots?”*

“You know, I [Jerome] was just reborn.  Last year was nothing but darkness... as far as the eye could see.”  *softly*  God, you’re so edgy.

“Hey, did you and I ever, uh...”  *slightly disgusted, trying not to laugh*

*scoffs in hilarity*  Did he just use the gun-

Yeah, yeah he did.  *ends up giggling anyway*

Oh my God...

AN:  And it was totally improvised at the moment by Cameron.  Because OF COURSE HE DID.

AN:  Hi, welcome to my blog, where we have to keep kinkshaming Cameron Monaghan.

*both make loud disgusted noises when Jerome tries licking Lee*

“How’s it going between you [Lee] and Jimbo?”  It’s not.

“Oh that’s a shame.  I really liked you guys.”  *giggles into her sleeve*

Jerome shipped it.

*absolutely cracks up at Jerome’s reaction when Lee tells him about Jim killing Mario on her wedding night*

He’s like “Whhaat?!?”

Oh my God....

“I see your point.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Theo Galavan’s dead.”  *sighs*  For how long?

“Ohhhhh.... who beat me to it?”  “W-Which time?”  *giggles*

Oh just wait until you get into the regular Batman canon.  Death is gonna be about as permanent as a hiatus.

It always looked like it has rained in this city!

They should shoot in Seattle for now on.

Didn’t I tell you [Cole] to go to hell the last time, dude?

“Hey.... smile!”  No.

No!  Bullshit.

No.

“Selina!  Please... don’t.”  Yes.  Do!

*cracks up when the cult members write down Dwight’s speech on giant note cards for him to use*

“The cult will never follow you, Dwight.  I [Jim] saw you... at the theater?  You don’t have what it takes!”  Oh.  Really?

“Well, for the record, you’re doing one thing Jerome never did:  boring me.”  *both lean back in shock*

Whoooooooooo hooo hoooooo!!

Daaammn!  That was pretty great.

Ohhh my God!

See, James, when you’re not being a complete dumbass-

He’s amazing!  He’s great!

“We’ve [Barbara and Tabitha] got Option A:  appeal to their reason, convince them we alone can protect them from Penguin-”  “Seems unlikely.  They are men.”  Pfft!

*both crack up when “Ave Maria” starts playing when Tabitha guns down all the other gang leaders*

“Yeah, yeah, Option B.”  *chuckles*

*Dwight goes on air with Jerome’s face on*  That’s creepy as shit!

That is really creepy, just the [gesture Dwight did when he corrected himself]

“Look at that.  No charisma, no stage presence.”  I dunno, he’s [Dwight] doing pretty well.

*laughs reading the news bulletin bars on the TV being changed to ‘HahAhaHAhaHA’*

Oh my God!

Jesus God, where are all those wires attached to?!?

I don’t know...

If he [Jim] shoots his [Dwight’s] ass on live television, that would be the most karmic thing...

*Jim and the Strike Force infiltrate the studio*  Oh my God!

*Jim tackles Dwight to the ground*  Boom!  Hoo hoo!

That was a great quick panning shot.

Niiice...

*in dramatic voice*  Meanwhile at W Manor...

*raises eyebrows in shock when Selina tries to goad Bruce into fighting her*

“You know, the only reason she [Maria] came back to Gotham, the only reason she tracked me [Selina] down... was you [Bruce].”  Here’s my question:  how did she know her daughter and Bruce were a thing?

Yeah, that doesn’t add up.

How did that happen?  How did she figure that out?

*laughs at all the fans telling Dwight they love him*

This actor is having the time of his life.

Oh, he totally is.

“Where’s Dwight?”  “I saw a uni walking him that way.”  Ohhhh...

*Jim and Harvey find a dead cop*  Ohhh what is that [sticking out of the dead cop’s chest]?!?

Oh my God!

What is that?!?!?

*both yell and reel back in horror when Jerome starts stapling his face back on*

And that’s a prosthetic.

Jesus God.

And he [Jerome] actually sounds different from the first time we saw him because Theo stabbed him in the neck [in S2] and it hit his vocal cords.

Yeeeppp...

“Say... you’re not mad, are you?”  “Mad?  What could I [Jerome] possibly be mad about?”  “Y’know, the whole... cutting off your face...”  Pfft!

“Oswald?”  *leans back in surprise*

*Oswald loses contact with Ed*  Ed’s probably like “Hell yeah!” and snaps the phone.

*chuckles*

“Kane Chemicals!  Let’s go!  Move!”  You are walking right into a trap, Oswald.

“Hi.  Some you you may know... I died.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Tonight, Gotham, in the darkness... there are no rules.”  You keep pulling out these edgelord lines!  I know you can do better than that, dude.

“I [Jerome] don’t forgive you [Dwight] for my face.”  *tries to stifle a laugh*

“We need a bird [chopper] to go now!”  You guys aren’t gonna make it!  You’re not gonna make it!

*pops hand toward screen when the power plant blows*

*All the power goes*  Ohhhhhh schnap.

Oh shit!

*Closing title pops up*  Ohhh hoo hoo....

*reels back in surprise*  OK...

OK...

ONTO THE NEXT EPISODE!

[ncfan-1]

Gotham 04 X 22, ‘No Man’s Land’

So, season finale. Let’s see if it’s as dramatic as a season finale should be, or if the drama all falls flat on its face. Odds are, there will be way too much going on this week. This is Gotham.

- We open with Selina being taken to the hospital. “Are you gonna leave me?” Given Selina’s past, this is even more heartbreaking than it otherwise would have been.

- We then go to the cops deliberately trying to get a rise out of Jeremiah. Jim finally breaks up the starefest so he can talk to Jeremiah. Jeremiah tells him there are more bombs. Jim tries to write it off as a bluff,

- And Strange is just… back. No fanfare. And he’s fascinated with Butch, because of course he is. I feel sorry for the blood “donors”, and the Butch x Tabby is ugh. I am grateful that Tabitha learning what happened to Selina immediately takes her mind off of Butch. I can hardly blame her for wanting to kill Jeremiah.

- And the mayor is unilaterally lifting the evacuation order, because he’s a jackass. And there’s just a man staring from an opposite roof at them. I’m pretty sure it’s Ra’s.

- Yeah, it’s Ra’s. And the building the mayor was in (I don’t know if it was City Hall or what) blows up.

- Police brutality. Yeah, because it’s not like punching Jeremiah’s head against a wall is gonna, say, give him a concussion and induce memory loss. Jackass.

- And it turns out government outside of Gotham actually exists, because martial law has been established. I like the major. I like him even more after he arrests Jim Gordon for doing shit that would actually get him arrested. Of course the major is Wrong for Plot Reasons, but it’s nice to see someone lay down the law with Jim for once. And of course, this raises the question of why martial law wasn’t established, say, during the S3 finale, but whatever. Reality is finally taking effect.

- And Ed has intercepted Jim so he can capture and presumably do nasty things to him.

- Jim wakes up somewhere with Ed screaming in his face. The stuff of nightmares. Not his being a prisoner, his having to spend involuntary time with Ed.

- Ed has no creativity in his torture methods, I swear to God.

- Reference Giles Corey, you asshole. Make my day.

- No, you’re not going to reference Giles Corey. Of course not.

- And Ed makes no bones about what he wants for Lee. He wants Lee to be what he wants to be.

- Ra’s wants Barbara to come with him. Interesting.

- He lied about the woman in the portrait. Obviously. You don’t have a portrait painted of a woman you don’t care for in that day and age.

- “We can rule the world together, Barbara!” Of course Barbara isn’t having it.

- Are they doing a Hannibal Lecter thing with Jeremiah? I’ve never seen Silence of the Lambs before—never been interested—so I can’t say for sure.

- Villains pull this “we are so much alike” thing with heroes a lot. It’s honestly pretty old.

- And just as Bruce finds out Jeremiah’s teamed up with Ra’s al-Ghul, someone infiltrates the police station. Honestly, I hope it’s Tabitha. She’s overdue to do a-killin’.

- For the record, I would like Cameron Monaghan to be the Joker. But if Jeremiah has to die, I hope it’s Tabitha who kills him. She’s at her most likable when she’s filling the role of Selina’s mentor/surrogate parent-big sister.

- 350 pounds, huh? I’m pretty sure Jim should have suffocated by now. Or not. I’m no doctor, I’m just a viewer. With a lot of opinions.

- Lee is about as impressed as I am. That is to say, not at all.

- And she rips him apart. I am grinning.

- And of course Ed has to gloat. Because of course.

- Barbara, Tabitha, Alfred, and Oswald teaming up is the team-up I never knew I needed, but I’m so glad it’s here. This is wonderful. I’m so happy.

- Is Jim x Lee over? Please say it’s over.

- And Bruce has been dragged before Ra’s.

- “You brought us together.” Seriously? Fuck off. By no measure is this Bruce’s fault.

- And Ra’s is gonna make Bruce watch as Gotham burns. Of course he is.

- Alexander Siddig is great. I know I keep saying it, but I keep saying it because it bears repeating.

- Gotham, I know you want me to think that the police turning on the army is supposed to be a good thing, but honestly, no. Just no. The major is obstructive and wrong because Plot, not because it actually makes sense for him to be obstructive.

- Battle Royale in Ra’s’s house. And Oswald of all people saved Tabitha’s life.

- Barbara grabbing Bruce so they can kill Ra’s is a great thing.

- Is Ra’s dead for real this time? I’m gonna miss Alexander Siddig.

- Gotta say, the moment of the bridges blowing up was not nearly as affecting as it could have been. Maybe it’s because I’m from the Albany area in Georgia and there was a, umm, event in living memory (okay, fine, it was the mother of all floods brought on by a tropical storm that decided to stick around in mid-Georgia way longer than it should have been) that tells us that even when bridges are impassable, life still goes on. A bit more difficultly for people who are completely cut off, but the waters receded from the roads leading in and out of Macon after a few days, and in the case of the island that was cut off here… That’s what ferries are for. Life’s not gonna be great, sure, not until the bridges are repaired, but it’s not the end of the world. Things are gonna be at the worst only for the first week or two after this, but order will be reestablished eventually. Unless there’s a second part to this plan, it’s… kinda underwhelming.

- Ed, the city is at least partially on fire, and you’re talking about your relationship?

- Lee just stabbed Ed. Oh, glorious. And she even calls out the fact that he would have just killed her eventually.

- And then he stabs her, and it’s not so great anymore.

- Are they just… gonna die?

- Tabitha and Oswald head back to Strange’s place. Butch is back to normal. Tell me Oswald’s gonna kill him now.

- “I love you!” Sounds fake. So fake.

- And Oswald’s standing in the background, presumably waiting for the best time to strike.

- Yep!

- Are we gonna get a Gertrud reference? Yes! And even Oswald seems to recognize that Tabitha’s feelings for Barbara are… shallow. They’d have to be, to waver so easily.

- Bruce chooses searching for Jeremiah over Selina. Of course, this is a prime Batman decision, but damn, Selina’s not going to be happy when she wakes up. And Alfred goes with Selina in the ambulance.

- Somehow I doubt that injury to Selina’s spinal cord is really permanent. Because, you know. Prequel Syndrome strikes again.

- And apparently the power is out, so maybe I was wrong about Jeremiah’s plan being underwhelming.

- And the freaks are busy carving up the city. Oh, Bridgit, what happened to your characterization? That’s what fanfic is for, I suppose, but it still rankles.

- Someone stumbled on Jonathan’s lab—clearly assuming he stumbled onto someone’s meth lab. He’s got a new hat. “Hell is what’s coming.” Jonathan seems to know what’s up.

- Strange’s got his hands on Ed and Lee. That’s… really bad.

- Ra’s’s goons have come to offer fealty to Barbara. Barbara is not impressed. She’s considerably more animated when Tabitha shows up. And she’s suddenly a misandrist for some reason. Why, I have no fucking clue.

- Lucius has got the lights back on. It turns out the battery bombs really do work as generators.

- What the hell? Where did the man-sized bat who looks like he stepped out of a 70s B-Movie and the people in the porcelain masks and late Victorian clothing come from?

- No offense, but Jim and Bruce’s conversation has completely failed to move me.

- Well, I was right. There was way too much going on.

[ecotone99]

[AA] Dark lights 1. First time on the subreddit, and first story I've posted

This is an introductory story I started writing during quarantine. This is the first story I've posted here, and I'm probably very rusty when it comes to writing. I used to be an active member of my school's creative writing club, but that's been over 3 years at this point. Appreciate the criticism and thanks for reading!!!

P.s. I'm in Canada so Canadian spelling for some of these words.

Chapter 1

If heaven exists, I probably won’t be let in. Not like I care too much though, don’t even know why that thought even came across my mind. As Lucius chewed on his gum, he had fallen into a deep thought about himself. He had not been this introspective in a while, so this was quite a strange occasion. Who knows, maybe I’m just in a weird mood. I got fucked over pretty hard anyways, but might as well just go with it. It’s not like I’m dying anytime soon. That being said, maybe I should go to that movie that I wanted to watch for a while. I’ll probably end up kicking myself in the afterlife if I don’t get to it. Gotta get done with what I’m doing right now though, sort of got my hands full right now.

He walked up to a man laying on the floor, who honestly looked quite pathetic. Most of Lucius’ targets ended up this way, but that didn’t stop him from thinking it. As Lucius put a gun against his head, he felt the man trembling with fear. It made sense, Lucius had put a bullet through both knees, elbows and shoulders of this man and his fate was entirely in the fate of a person who honestly just wanted to kill him and get it over with.

Why the hell does Brian want me to keep this guy alive until he gives me the cue? Brian was the man who hired Lucius to kill this man. If he was honest, Lucius would say he's kind of a dork. He had contacted Lucius earlier in the week with the job request to deal with this man. At that point Lucius didn’t think there was anything to be suspicious of. The job was a simple and straightforward capture of a dangerous criminal with a history of violence, nothing that special. All they had to do was bring this dude to Brian’s basement, and then they could leave Brian to do whatever he wanted with the guy. The problems appeared when Lucius and his friends brought their target to the basement.

When Lucius and his friends arrived at Brian’s basement, they found a massive underground complex that resembled a maze more than a basement, which Lucius was not told about. Then Brian asked each of them to go to different rooms and do different things, which he had definitely not been told about. So now each of his friends were separated, Suzy with Brian, Vaughan with some sword dude and Jonathan with a group of bodyguards. Of course, Lucius was stuck dealing with the crazed lunatic that wanted nothing more than to kill him. Oh, by the way the instructions mentioned that this guy was to be brought here unharmed. And the cuffs Brian put him in broke as soon as they left. So Lucius had to deal with a murderous madman by himself, which he did with ease. Lucius just hoped blood didn't get any of this idiot's blood on his suit. He had worn a pink shirt for a big pay day; Lucius thought pink looked really good on him.

It’s not like this loser’s survival gives him much of a strategic edge. I’m distracted babysitting him, and I’m really not much help right now. He’s probably trying to hide something from me, but what would it be? If he’s trying to set me up, somebody should have told me already, it’s not like I don’t have people keeping an eye on him right now. An ambush? Maybe, this whole thing’s a bit too obvious and he didn’t seem like the smartest guy in the world. Brian could also just want to watch this guy die, but if that was the case I could have just brought him here with me. He knows this too, so that’s not even an option.

So here he was, drinking soda with one foot on a crippled psychopath’s head and wondering what happened. Obviously this whole thing is a set up. Well, he had a pretty good idea of what happened and that ticked him off. Lucius knew him and his friends could deal with whatever Brian had in store for them, and the only reason why he went with this obvious and stupid plot was because he knew that, but still. Lucius didn’t like it when people tried to fuck him over, and he was going to make sure Brian paid very well for it.

Under his feet, the fallen man started to moan in pain. Oh yeah, that must hurt. Who’s fault was that again? Oh yeah, you for trying to kill me. This guy was really starting to get on Lucius’ nerves. Every other second the formerly threatening criminal was whining and moaning about how he couldn’t feel his arms and legs, going on and on about his pain. And occasionally he’d start crying. That was the worst. He took a look at his shirt sleeve to make sure it was clean, and saw some blood got on it. This was his favourite shirt, this jackass had ruined it and now he needed to vent some steam on the piece of shit.

Lucius repeatedly stomped on the man’s head with great annoyance and shouted, “Shut up, you know why you’re in this spot. All you had to do was sit down and behave, and what did you do? You broke your cuffs and tried to kill me as soon as the adults left. Well now your joints are blown off and you’re probably crippled for the rest of your life. Are you proud of yourself? Are you proud of your decision making skills? How the fuck did you think you were gonna kill me barehanded when you couldn’t do it with a fucking knife? Are you actually retarded?”

Lucius walked away from the prone man to contact one of his teammates and friends, though he kept an eye on the target. He could never know if he could escape through some unknown means. There could also be a blowpipe hidden inside the man’s mouth; Lucius had fallen for that trick once when he was much younger and dumber, and he was not about to let it happen again.

Lucius took out his phone to dial Suzy’s number. Suzy was one of his teammates, and had been a friend of his since they were children. Lucius was not the biggest fan of calling her however, since most of the time she just tried to scold him about his supposed immaturity.

Maybe I should wait. She's just gonna yell at me again. "Oh you should have done some research. Why didn't you look up the guy before taking a job from him. Blah blah blah." Or maybe she’d say “Grow up and stop being so whiny. It’s like this all the time with you. Always whining about this and that. Just do the job, you’re getting paid for it anyways, myeh myeh myeh”.……………. Nah, I'm not in that much of a hurry.

In reality, Lucius actually was that immature. Oh well, he thought as he went back to just lounging around. His friends would be able to take care of themselves, so there was nothing for him to be worried about.

--------------------------

It had already been an hour since Brian asked Suzy to follow him, and she had started to get tired of it. They had gone through several corridors, and they had taken so many turns that she wasn't even sure where she was anymore. Every wall looked the same and every turn just faded into the next. She had tried to stay focused, but that was getting really hard for her. It was so dull and she was just ready to be done with it.

When Brian hired them, he had wanted each of them to do something different for him. For Suzy, that was trailing him and acting as a bodyguard. She had an idea about why he wanted her there, but she was hoping Brian was not scummy or stupid enough for that.

Brian was a short man with black greased-back hair and chubby cheeks. He seemed like someone who believed they were the hottest thing on Earth. He really wasn’t. He looked even smaller compared to the rest of the people surrounding him, including Suzy. His face was slimy, and his constant smirk made Suzy want to punch him in the face. His bodyguards, on the other hand, were massive human beings with all of them being at least 6’2’’ or taller. They were all very muscular, and Suzy guessed each of them had to be over 200 pounds. They were very imposing, enough to make most people think twice about messing with him.

Eventually the group came to a dead end and stopped. Immediately Brian quickly turned around and walked up to Suzy. He put on a smug smile and gave her a seductive look, and slowly walked around Suzy as he seemingly sniffed her scent. In fact, it looked like he was almost hopping around her. Gross. He was starting to get on her nerves. Just a little bit. Eventually he stopped in front of her and attempted to brush her hair with his trigger finger. Suzy almost instinctively leaned away in disgust, and her face reflected that feeling.

This guy's lucky he’s paying us. As much as she hated Brian right now, Suzy had a sense of professional pride. She and her friends were paid to help this little greasy weasel, and she was going to go through with it. That being said, this guy was making it really hard for her to do that.

Brian leaned towards her and said, “Come on, don’t be like that. I’m just trying to have a little fun here” and attempted to rub Suzy's leg. She pushed his gut with her foot and turned around to walk away. At this point, she was just a pinch away from snapping. She was not getting paid to get harassed, and she’d had just about enough of Brian. As she attempted to go back to her friend, his other bodyguards blocked her path. She sneered at them with disdain and turned back around.

During that time Brian had somewhat recovered from her slight tap and was rubbing his stomach. He seemed to be actually hurt by that. This guy’s soft. He stared straight into her eyes, his face full of pain and hatred from the agony caused by her “kick.” He yelled at his henchmen to surround her to keep her from hurting him again. How brave.

He walked slightly closer to her and said, “Listen you little bitch. I’m trying to be nice to you here, but you’re making it really fucking hard. I’m trying to protect you right now, okay? If I wasn’t here to keep them in check, these boys would eat you up. I know you think you’re pretty strong, but even you wouldn’t be able to take all of them at once. No, you’d probably get pummeled in a second. So just do as I say and we can all leave happy.”

Brian pulled out his phone and turned it towards Suzy. He started going through it, looking for something. Eventually he turned the phone as it showed what seemed to be video footage. “If you stay like that, I can’t guarantee your little friend here doesn’t get hurt. I put him with my strongest fighter, so one little mistake out of you and your friend is finished. This guy’s the real deal, I once saw him cut down a whole room full of armed men in a minute. He’s never lost a duel in his life, and I don’t think he’s going to lose one anytime soon. So I would recommend you do as I say,” Brian said with as much menace as he could put into his voice.

Suzy stared into the footage for a few seconds in silence. Vaughan was with their strongest fighter. As stupid as she thought Brian was, he had thought out everything in this whole plan. She was isolated from her friends and now he had taken them hostage. If she didn’t do what he wanted, he was going to make his strongest fighter try to kill Vaughan. He really was a terrible human being.

Suzy asked, “Are they alone in that room together?” “Damn right they are, and there’s no escape if something happens,” Brian smugly answered. “So there’s just the two of them, no one else nearby?” “None, and if I give the order, my man’s going to cut your friend down. Now be a good girl and get on your knees.”

Suzy let out a sigh and relaxed. This was going to happen, and she might as well be calm. Then, as Brian unbuttoned the top of his shirt with a smirk on his face, looked up at the ceiling. Now that she looked at the walls more closely, she realized they were soundproof. Then she punched the bodyguard on her left in his ugly face. She felt her fist crush his nose, shatter his teeth and break his thick skull. Brian was more of an idiot than she thought he was. She thought he was at least good at spending his money.

As she was punching the bodyguard, she turned an eye towards the snot who tried to have his way with her. Her face filled with anger, eyes wide open and teeth clenched so hard it looked as though she was about to break them with her own jaw. She was absolutely pissed, both from his inexcusable behaviour and his complete utter incompetence. She stared a hole through Brian’s skull as she said, “You’re fucking dead.”

------------------------------

Lenon was annoyed at his current predicament. He had trained under the greatest masters for years and mastered the way of the sword. He traveled the world, fought the strongest he could find and conquered all of them. He was as skilled and powerful as one could be. And he was stuck babysitting this weird child.

In front of him in this small, dusty grey room was a blond boy of about twelve years of age with big bushy, messy hair and bags under his eyes. He was playing games on his phone, and seemed to barely acknowledge Lenon’s presence. This twelve-year-old boy wore a baggy, crumpled up hoodie and carried an ornate sword in a sheath by his side. The hilt was beautifully designed, decorated with gold, rubies and emeralds. Its shape was vibrant yet balanced to make sure it was usable in combat. This was not a sword that someone like him should have. Yet the most disturbing thing about this kid was not the weapon. This twelve-year-old boy was smoking a cigarette and was currently finishing his third one.

Lenon had to pull in all of his restraint in order to stop the boy from smoking. He knew smoking was bad for the development of a child, but his client had told him not to touch the boy unless told otherwise. He had a job to do, and he was going to finish it. His sense of honour demanded he do so. He would wait until the job is over, find the boy and discipline him in order to stop him from smoking. Until then, Lenon would patiently wait.

As Lenon was meditating to keep himself from losing his mind, he noticed his phone ringing. Finally, his client must have a new task for him to do. Something worth his skill and talent. Maybe he’d cut down that arrogant man with the pistols, or maybe he’d get to face the woman that the boss took with him. He had sensed great power from her, and he knew there was no way those goons could handle her. He had hoped he would not have to deal with the other gentleman, a taller man who seemed sweet and gentle. He would do it, but not without guilt.

He picked up his phone and answered the call. Across the line, the boss yelled “Kill the fucking Brat!” and hung up immediately. As he heard this, thoughts started running through Lenon’s head. How could he ask such a horrendous task of him? To kill a small child like this, it would be a disgrace to his name. He’d have to pray and meditate for weeks to cleanse himself of his sin. But he had to do it, he had promised as such.

The boy did not seem to be paying attention. Good, then this will be painless. The boy will feel no fear, no pain. Lenon would make sure this boy’s life would end quickly. The least he could do is keeping him from suffering. Lenon drew his sword and prepared to swing. He would cut the boy’s neck with one clean swing of his blade. Yes, that will do.

As he swung his blade in one straight and graceful motion, the boy fell face first onto the floor and accidentally avoided the attack. The fool seemed to have tripped while not paying attention to where he’s walking. It was no issue, the next strike would do the deed. Lenon raised his divine sword Tsukuyomi to stab the boy through the heart. This sword was passed down through generations of swordsmen at his old dojo, and he was blessed with inheriting its might. Now he was using it to slay a defenseless little child. He felt shame travel through his body as he thrust his weapon in a quick strike towards him. The child rolled to his left, dodging the attack.

How could this be? Is luck on this child’s side? How could the divine blade Tsukuyomi miss twice? Could he have dodged those attacks? No, it couldn’t be. Those were not the actions of one who tries to dodge. They were accidents. Lenon shouted, “Boy I must end your existence, for I was ordered by the man I promised to serve! Please do not make this difficult. I will make it painless, so do not fear.” The boy answered, “Well, at least call me by my name if you’re gonna kill me. Name’s Vaughan.” with a booming baritone. Lenon did not expect such a low voice to come out of a small child’s mouth. He guessed that the boy’s smoking habit artificially changed his voice.

“Very well then. Vaughan, I hope your next life is a happier one,” said Lenon with grim resolve in his voice. Vaughan yawned, and as he did replied, “Oh, by the way you shouldn’t be using your sword like that. You’re gonna break it.”

Lenon was befuddled by this boy. How could he attempt to lecture me like this? Is he not afraid of death? And what could he possibly know about using a sword? How dare he act as though he knows the way of the sword better than I do. I was trying to be gentle with this boy, but now I shall teach him a lesson.

---------------------------

Vaughan was lying on the floor, staring at this man trying to stab him with a katana. That sword was meant to be swung, not thrusted. That also meant it was designed badly, but he didn’t think that was worth saying. Well, if this guy’s gonna try to kill me, he might as well do it properly. Vaughan stood up, brushed the dirt off his clothes and turned to the man with a sword. The man seemed to be confused by what just happened. Vaughan was hoping the man’s mental state was not as weak as his sword strikes.

Vaughan looked at the man and asked, “Are you that slow or are you trying to take it easy on me?” The guy seemed agitated by this statement, as his face changed to that of anger. He changed his grip to a more proper one and readied his stance. The man said, “If you wish to mock me, I have no choice but to fight you with my full strength. As you die, repent and pray your next life doesn’t end as violently as this one, young fool.” What a weirdo.

As the weirdo charged him with a vertical strike, Vaughan moved slightly out of the way and tapped the man’s face. This guy wasn’t going easy on him. He was just that slow. No, this crazy man has to have some sort of hidden power. If not, he wouldn’t be considered the best fighter out of all of them.

After Vaughan touched the nutcase’s face, the crackpot immediately backed off and hopped back to his original position. Now the weird man seemed embarrassed by what just happened. He shouted, “I WILL NOT LET THIS ACT OF DISRESPECT GO UNPUNISHED. BY THE HONOUR OF THE SAMURAI, I, LENON RICHARDS, SHALL CUT YOU DOWN!”

Oh, this guy’s a weeaboo. The weeaboo once again charged him with a slow and sloppy sword strike. This time Vaughan passed behind him and kicked his leg out. Vaughan was starting to get bored of this guy. He was hoping this was not all that the strongest man in their crew could do.

Vaughan put his face on the madman’s face, yawned and said, “I’m bored. Show me something cool.” Vaughan hopped backwards to allow the creep to get up as Lenon stood up frantically and gathered himself. He gripped his sword and went back into his stance. He stared into Vaughan’s blank eyes, and said, “If you wish to die so badly, then so be it” as he strengthened his grip onto the sword.

Lenon took a deep breath, focused himself and said, “This is a power that’s been passed down through the generations of my family. Be honoured that you bore witness to its greatness.” As he finished his words, a green glow appeared around him, covering himself and his weapon. An aura of power flowed through the air, and with each of his movements the air itself seemed to change in property.

“This is the Emerald Dragon. It increases my speed, power and defense to the highest possible levels. I am unbeatable in this form,” said Lenon. Vaughan prepared himself. If the weirdo was going to go all out, it would only be fair if he did so too. He gripped the handle of his sword and got ready for a quick release. Also, Vaughan noticed that the idiot’s grip was wrong.

---------------------------

Lenon charged at Vaughan with great speed and determination. He would teach this boy a lesson for disrespecting him like this. He shouted, “Feel the wrath of my divine power!” and went for his most powerful technique, the speed slash. Its speed was so fast that no man was ever able to react to it. Its power was so great it could cut through steel like it was butter. He would put his heart and soul into this attack, and there was no way this little boy could dodge this attack. As he brought his blade down, he felt a gush of air. There was a trail of violent, yet graceful energy from where the boy was to right behind him. It was powerful, loud and its colour was the brightest yellow he had ever seen. The next moment he realized that his hand had been cut off, and the little boy said “My power is electricity.”

---------------------------

Disappointing, Vaughan thought as he turned towards Lenon. Vaughan had expected at least some sort of resistance when he cut the weirdo’s hand off, but it felt like just any other hand. All that bravado, and now this man was screaming in pain on the floor. Is he really the strongest one? If this man was the strongest in their crew, then the rest of them must have been pathetically weak.

Vaughan reached into his pocket and lit a new cigarette. One complaint he always had with his power was that his ciggies would never stay lit. Oh well, he thought as he took a puff of his cigarette. It couldn't be helped, so there was no point in getting mad. Vaughan tapped the man on the shoulder with his sword and said, “You're pretty weak, man.” The weird creepy man replied, “How dare you say that to me! I have traveled around the world, spent countless hours honing my craft. You’re just some lucky talented brat! This isn’t fair, I worked so hard and I lost to some random twelve-year-old? This is bullshit!”

He might as well know before he dies, Vaughan thought as he said, “By the way, I’m thirty years old.” and sliced the man’s head off.

---------------------------

Johnny always prided himself on being able to read anyone. The eyes were the way into a man’s soul, and he was the best he knew at reading them. Just one look into a person’s eyes, and he’d know just about everything about them. Even as a child, he could figure out what anyone was thinking from their looks. That’s how he figured out Santa Claus wasn’t real. This skill helped him get through life. He was popular in school, good at interviews and great at interrogating people. That’s how he got his current job, after messing up big time at that country fair. He was forever in debt to the man who saved him from his fate, and would do anything for him. Of course, he used that skill of his to help convince the man to give him the job. That skill of his never failed him. He could figure out anyone in the world. But it didn’t work on this man. This guy named Jonathan was a mystery to Johnny.

Jonathan was a tall and fair-skinned man around 6’2’’. His hair was short, brown and well-groomed, his eyes were deep green like the water in a tropical ocean and his skin was soft and smooth like a baby’s. His face was gentle yet alluring, and had a soft smile that girls would die for. In short, he was the most handsome man that Johnny had ever laid eyes on. It really seemed like a waste, a guy like him being in a business like this. Johnny wondered how this guy ended up here. He had to have had other opportunities. Model agencies would kill each other to get this guy.

This man was separated from his friends, put in a strange room with armed men, and kept from leaving. If this was any other person, Johnny would be able to see the fear in their eyes. The problem was that Johnny saw none in Jonathan’s eyes. In fact, he was just comfortably having a pleasant conversation with the other guards as if there was nothing wrong. He was not scared; in fact, he didn’t have a single hint of worry in his eyes. He was calm and collected in a situation that would make a normal person fill up with fear and anxiety.

Johnny was about to take out his phone and start browsing, when Jonathan approached him and started a conversation with him. Jonathan stepped close to him, brought his hand out to offer a handshake and said, “I don’t think we’ve talked yet. Hi, I’m Jonathan. I’m assuming you knew that though. What’s your name?” Johnny stood in silence, ignoring Jonathan’s attempt at small talk. “Oh, was I a bit abrupt about this? Sorry about that, social interactions were never my strong suit,” continued Jonathan while maintaining his upbeat and chipper voice. Johnny replied with more silence. He was being paid to watch over this man, not make friends with him. Jonathan kept going and said, “Oh come on, don’t be like that. We’re both just stuck here anyways, might as well talk to pass the time, right?”

What’s with this guy? Johnny didn’t get why this pretty boy wanted to talk to him so much. Is this how he deals with fear? I mean, there’s no way this whole situation isn’t getting to him. Johnny looked into Jonathan’s eyes again to see if he had missed something. It was deep brilliant green, almost like a tropical oceanscape in movies, and he felt like he was getting sucked in every second he looked into it. It was astonishing just how warm he felt while staring into those eyes. I never knew that eyes could be so…….. Gorgeous. Wait, I gotta focus. Read his eyes Johnny, figure out what this man’s feeling.

As he regained his focus, he stared into Jonathan’s deep eyes to attempt to read him. He looked for any semblance of fear, any anger towards the men that abducted him, or any sign that this man’s scheming anything. He kept looking and looking, but he found none of those things. Maybe he’s just stupid, thought Johnny as he changed his focus to figuring out his character.

Conversation was needed for this task, so Johnny decided to give this guy what he wants. Johnny kept focusing on Jonathan’s eyes as he said, “You know what, why not. It’s not like we have anything to do.” “Exactly, what’s the point in sitting around doing nothing? Let’s get to know each other a bit. Who knows, maybe we could even be friends,” replied Jonathan with an innocent look in his eyes.

This guy’s weirdly optimistic, isn’t he? Well, he could be just so stupid that I’m outsmarting myself. It’s not like that hasn’t happened before. Johnny continued, “Yeah man, you never know with people. I’m Johnny by the way.” “Oh really? We basically have the same name! That’s kinda crazy,” said Jonathan. Johnny replied, “You’re right about that, it’s a weird world. By the way, why are you hanging with these guys? There had to have been better job opportunities than mercenary work. What got you into this dangerous business? Any special reasons?” Jonathan stood for a bit as if he was thinking, tilted his head slightly and replied, “No special reasons. If I’m being honest, I just found all the other jobs boring. And this line of work lets me take the most advantage of my abilities, so that helped too.” “Abilities?” asked Johnny. The handsome man in front of Johnny answered, “Well, healing and stuff. I’m the one that patches up my friends if they get banged up.”

A healer for a mercenary group eh? Tough job, it’s real easy to get hurt in a dangerous field like this. We do need people like him though. That being said, if you have healing abilities there’s gotta be other safer opportunities. What’s really going on here? Johnny relaxed a bit before focusing back onto those eyes and said, “There’s gotta be other ways you can take advantage of that kind of ability. Why not become a medic at a hospital or something? Gotta pay better than doing this.” "Well, I guess that's true. Honestly, I just couldn't stand by and watch my friends get hurt. They're just so important to me," replied Jonathan.

Still nothing. What’s with this guy? Wait, let’s focus a bit more. As Johnny stared deeper into his eyes, he finally noticed something special about Jonathan. With most people, there were pieces of their soul resonating in their eyes. That’s how souls work. However, Johnny saw nothing in those eyes. It was a dark, bottomless pit with almost nothing filling it. These weren’t the eyes of a human. This guy was something else.

Jonathan walked up closer, and started feeling Johnny's face. He observed his face as if it was a statue and said, “You look hurt.” Johnny replied, “What, what do you mean?” He was confused. What did he mean by that? Johnny had no noticeable injuries, and most of his previous injuries were either covered up by clothing or internal. Unless Jonathan could somehow sense other people’s health, there was no way he could know about those. Jonathan stared closer at Johnny’s face, pinched his cheeks and said with an unexpectedly cold and indifferent voice, "I'm a healer, silly, I know things. Don't worry, it won't take long."

As Jonathan finished speaking, dark fluid started flowing into every orifice Johnny had on his face. The next thing he knew, Johnny's vision had gone completely dark. Soon, pain filled his every being as he felt every injury he's ever had. He felt every bone he's broken, every muscle he's torn and every bit of flesh that's been stabbed. It was complete agony, every pain he's ever felt in a single second. Then suddenly all of it was gone. All that pain, gone. And all the lingering injuries he had were gone too. Johnny was in the best shape of his life.

How'd he, what was, huh? That was amazing. A guy like this in the hands of people like that, no that's too dangerous. I need to take care of this guy, for the boss. Johnny secretly took out a knife from his back. As bad as he felt, he needed to get rid of him. Someone that powerful could be a threat to Brian, and he couldn't let that happen.

Johnny secretly muttered a prayer under his breath, and approached Jonathan to stab him. Jonathan looked down and smiled as he saw the knife. Shit, he saw it. Wait, what the hell’s he…. As Johnny hesitated, he felt a powerful shockwave to his left with the booming sound of an explosion. As he turned his head, he noticed that the wall had been destroyed, and in the middle was the woman that Brian had taken with him. Her face was covered in little bruises and cuts, and her clothes were a crumpled, torn mess. In her arms was a beaten and battered Brian, and in her eyes he saw a great amount of anger towards Brian and himself. She looked like she had just been in a fist fight with a gang, and by the look of things, she had won.

The girl dashed up to Johnny, clenched her fist and shouted, “What do you think you’re doing to him?!”And then slammed her fist onto Johnny’s face. The shear force of her punch broke his jaw, shattered four teeth and pushed his head so hard his neck almost broke. It was the hardest punch he had ever taken in his life, and he could not believe it could come from a person. As he collapsed, his consciousness fading from the pain and the loss of blood from his fractured face, Johnny thought What the fuck are these guys?

submitted by /u/TS0c1eTy [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/364vLzt

[aristocracyhq]

*high pitched excited voice* hey-hey!! i’m Zee the messy girl behind the beautifully painfully elegant Cissy! cant tell you how excited i am to be here!! so anyways there’s some info about the Princess! LIKE THIS AND I’LL MSSG YOU WITH PLOTS!!! looking forward to writing with all of you!!

✧*:･ﾟ✧ ( ZEE, SHE/HER, 21, GMT+5:30 ) merlin! is that LUCY FRY? no, it’s just NARCISSA BLACK the FIFTH YEAR & SLYTHERIN ( PUREBLOOD ). we’ve heard rumors that SHE ( CIS-FEMALE ) is CLASSY, LOYAL & DRIVEN but can also be very CONTROLLING, IRRITABLE & ARROGANT. if i had to pick one song to describe HER it would be OLD MONEY BY LANA DEL REY. Good luck with the rest of your time at Hogwarts.┊

TW: EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Narcissa Ophelia Black is the youngest Black sister and easily the most spoilt, Narcissa has always been the apple of her parents eye.

The fact that her sisters were named after stars, heavenly bodies that go through hardships for millions of years to form, whereas she was named after a delicate flower…tells you straight away that she stood out from her sisters.

Cissa’s mother was determined to create Cissa into her own imagine, the perfect pureblood young lady. she made her learn French and Italian, she’s been taking ballet lessons since she was a kid, every article of clothing she ever wears is scrutinized by her mother. she was definitely emotionally abused by her, but will never ever talk about that to anyone. i think it’d be pretty well-known in the pureblood society, but no one will be able to dare ask or say anything to her.

Cissa had been looking forward to going to hogwarts because she thought once she was far away, her mother would not be able to control her life anymore. this didn’t exactly work out and her mother is still pulling many strings in her life. 

People outside of her family knew her as the quite Black sister. She never voices her opinion on anything too loudly, and never at all when she isn’t around her closest friends.

She knows that most people think they know exactly the kind of person she is: a quite, narcissistic, spoilt brat. She will the first one to admit that she’s all of those things, but also so much more.

She’s powerful, but quietly so. she doesn’t actively show dominance, she commands respect in little ways. She asserts her authority openly only when necessary. she is perfectly content to let others feel they are in control, all the while pulling the strings

Highly manipulative, she uses her femininity to manipulate. She lets others think that she’s the weak link of the family, the little sister that must be protected because hey, underestimation is always an advantage.

Incredibly observant. She notices everyone and everything around her, she’s good at deciphering people. Then uses this knowledge to her advantage.

She’s a kind, protective and caring person. She only shows this side to few, but she is. ( the circle of people she shows this side to became much smaller after the first war (basically only included Lucius and Draco) but rn it’s big enough.)

She’s been brought up to believe in the superiority of pure-bloods, encouraged since she was a child to treat those of ‘dirty’ blood as her inferiors. But Cissa is an intelligent person, and she knows that rationally if two people have the same amount of magical ability then there should be no concept of inferior and superior. she has these rational thoughts on the back of her mind sometimes. But rationality isn’t something you’ll find a lot of in the Black household. her parents might dote on her and love her to the moon & back but she knows that the things she speaks of would be considered treasonous.

while I don’t think blood purity really matters to her, loyalty does. She’s not loyal to any cause, only to people HER people, her family. If her family has decided to side with the dark lord, she knows exactly what part she needs to play in this war.

in a nutshell: Family means the world to her. She will never voice those little thoughts if it meant she’d loose the thing most important to her.

Incredibly feminine and proud of it. She loves clothes & shopping and will never hide that. Her family always encouraged it, Cissa’s great fashion taste was always the talk in pureblood circles.

she will act as if she’s superior to you, because she might not believe in the superiority of purebloods but she will always believe her family to be practically royalty. even when compared to other pureblood families.

Only called Cissy by the black family. Only. Called Cissa by close friends.

Passive agressive as af.

closeted bisexual

she’s gotta a grumpy bengal cat named Perseus

she’s a prefect, and a part of the astronomy, latin, potions and slug club.

She’s actually incredibly intelligent, but will never show that off. She lets people think she’s the bimbo who only thinks about fashion, but her friends would know her true nature.

But yes her form of therapy is retail therapy don’t judge her

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E21

Screw that ending.  In its entirety.

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post (even though about 20% of this post is horrified screaming)

“Dig me up!”  *starts singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham!*

DIG ME UP/ BEFORE YOU GO-GO/DON’T LEAVE ME LAYING THERE LIKE A HOBO

Pretty much the latter half of Gotham 4B is dedicated to dragging the ever loving crap out of Jerome

*cups hands around mouth*  JIM AIN’T DEAD!

Lucius!

“Last time we [the other officers] followed you [Harvey], the Pyg slaughtered us.”  I haven’t reached Professor Pyg yet in my reactions but C’MON!

Thank you, Harper!

“...he’s outside and he’s not alone.”  Oooooohhhhh...

THAT OUTFIT THOUGH!

“JEREMIAH!  JEREMIAH!”  Dude even has a back-up choir!

I also really like the military-style outfit that the other followers have on

This natural lighting on Bullock and the other officers looks pretty nice, I gotta say

Can we talk about this wide shot of Bullock and the other officers vs. Jeremiah and his followers?  ‘Cause that is a thing of beauty.

“Don’t compare me to that short-sighted psychopath.”  #DraggingJeromeValeska2k18

For some reason, Jeremiah sounds like a mix between Hannibal Lector [Anthony Hopkins] and Andrew Scott’s Jim Moriarty (except if he were American)

*Jeremiah pulls out another dead man’s switch*  Oh crap...

*The clock tower goes down*  OHHHHHH!

Here’s my question:  where did Jeremiah get his outfits?

“Looks aren’t everything,” my ass...

What the crap did they [Penguin and Butch] do to Jongleur?

“If it isn't little Penguin. Oh, and Butch's corpse.“  Pfftt....

“The man responsible for the recent fireworks is Jeremiah Valeska.  Twin brother of our old associate.“  HOW DO YOU [Oswald] KNOW?!?

“[Tabitha] Don’t look at me [Barbara] like that.”  Pfftt...

Bruce!

“I'm [Harvey] so sick of that freaking family [the Valeskas]...“  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

“[Bruce] Be with Alfred.  Be safe.  It's what Jim would want.“  Yes, please!

“Alfred, where have you been?”  “No, not Alfred.”  Shit.

When did Jeremiah take the time to dye his hair in between this episode and the last one?

Ecco probably did it.  We know she did.

“But I meant what I [Jeremiah] said.  You're my best friend, and today I'm gonna prove it to you [Bruce].“  Screw this noise!

Wait, you can turn off the dead man’s switch?

“Tell the police and I'll know. Just like I [Jeremiah] know that's where you [Bruce] are right now.“  Wait, how does he know?  Is there a spy inside the precinct?

HERCULES MULLIGAN

*cups hands around mouth*  I TOLD Y’ALL HE [Jim] AIN’T DEAD!

Lee!

*Jim rips out the IV in his arm*  Why do people keep doing that in Hollywood stuff?  Seriously.

That is the most graceful collapse back onto the bed that I’ve ever seen, Jim.

“I'm [Selina] gonna be here whenever you [Bruce] need me.”  Aaaawww....

“He [Jeremiah] wants something out of me [Bruce].”  “Like what, to be your best friend?“  Actually, yes... for some reason...

I don’t like thisss... not one bittt....

*Bruce is shown footage of Alfred getting beat up*  AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

“If this is what you [Lee] want, I will do it.  For you.”  Oh my gosh, Ed is so unbelievably stupid!

“Do it for us.”  They better not, they better not-

*Lee and Ed kiss*  Eeuughh!

Whoa...

Is that blood... on the mirror above the captain’s office?

Please tell me it’s silly string.

AN:  It’s spray paint.

“The bombs are connected by a nervous system. The core relay is the brain. We find that, we destroy that-”   “We can stop the bombs from going off.”  Where’s the core relay?

That transition overhead shot of Gotham is so obviously New York City.

OOOHHHH THAT’S A NICE SHOT....

“I envy you.”  You do not.  Shut the hell up.

“Call our friend.  Tell him to kill the butler.  He's no longer necessary.“  You better not!

“And is that my dear Jongleur with my core relay in his hand and a grenade taped to his mouth?”  Hooooooo....

Oh my gosh, that hat take-off though!

This is gonna go south real fast.

Look at Jeremiah sitting in the chair all proper and dandy!

“I see.  I play the villain, you get away scot-free and rich.  I get you the money, you give me back my core relay.“  Oh my god, Oswald, you dead.

*Jeremiah rolls his eyes whenever Barbara speaks*  HAHAHAHA!

“I'm nothing if not sane.  And reasonable.  Two things my brother never valued.  Which is why I'll be successful where he failed.  Well, that and being vastly more intelligent.“  *hisses in panic*

#DraggingJeromeValeska2k18

“We're not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?”   “Of course not.  Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the core relay to the police, split the $50 million, and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!”  WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OUT LOUD?!?  WHY?!?

EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM IS DEAD

*Jeremiah pulls out a bazooka*  OOHHHHH

“Are you [Jeremiah] OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?”  Yes.

“What's insane about having a backup plan?  Something Jongleur never knew about.“  True!

Oh my gosh, Jeremiah running up the stairs!  Speedy Gonzalez!

“I imagine you're wondering, why is Jeremiah doing this?“  I bet you’re wondering I brought you here today...

“My brother once said, "All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.“  Oh my God...

*screams when Alfred is shown being tortured*

Oh my God...

Craaaaap!

*gasps when Alfred gets doused in laughing gas*

*weakly*  Noo....

“I'm only helping you because I'm with Lee now.”  “Fine.  Whatever.” Hahaha!

“Ed, Jeremiah Valeska is threatening to destroy half the city.  You really think I care if you've deluded yourself into thinking you and Lee are a couple?“  YES!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU JIM!  YESSSS!!

“She's with me in every way.”  Punch him.  Now.

“And you, Jim, are ten times the killer that I ever was.”  Ed, shut the heck up.

*slaps desk with every other word*  Can we please get back to the discussion at hand please thank you!

Is that Gotham?

“Jeremiah lived his entire life in a maze.  Now he's trying to remake the city into the place he feels most safe.“  Man...

“It’s [the solution to the maze] actually rather elegant.”  Shoot, Jeremiah’s more like the Riddler than the actual Riddler in this show!

Punch him [Ed].  Now!

*Jim knocks out Ed with one punch*  YESSSSSS!  THANK YOU!

*claps with each word*  Jim Gordon, MVP.

“Get the core relay, he [Oswald] says!  Have the upper hand, he says!“  Heehee!

“That means we can disrupt them by disarming the first bomb in the sequence.  It's like removing one light from a string of Christmas lights.“  So where’s the first one?

*Jim and Harvey reunite with a hug*  YAY!

You’d think Jeremiah would keep his plans more well hidden...

*Scarecrow sneaks up behind Selina*  OOOOOOHHHHHHH

IS THAT A SCYTHE?!?!?

Scarecrow’s literally just standing there, literally not moving, just holding his scythe.  It’s for the aesthetic.

*Scarecrow swings his scythe at Selina*  WHOA!

Bruce!  Get out of there!

AAAAAAHHHHHH I’M NOT LIKING THIS EPISODE AT ALL!

Fear toxin!  It’s fear toxin!  Bruce, you’re hallucinating this!

*screams when Fake Alfred gives himself a Glasgow smile*

I’m not likin’ this episode!

*gasps when Fake Alfred goes after Bruce*

I’m actually shaking...

No, no, Bruce, this is fake!

*Selina finds a hostage in a closet*  That has to be the real Alfred!

Who’s Bruce fighting then?

*screams when Fake Alfred gets shot and falls over the balcony*

“Alfred...”  Hug.  Please.  Hug.

[The generator bomb] Looks like a building...

Why and how did Jeremiah dye his hair?  I like it though.

Vertigo shot....

“This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska.  Jeremiah claims to have killed me [Jim].  Well, bad news, I'm alive.“  Haha!

“So, just know you're worshipping a fraud. A pale imitation of Jerome.“  Whoooo...

Go Jim!

You [Harvey] better not be doing “Eeny Meeny Miny Moe” on a bomb...

Aaaand he did.

*jumps when Jeremiah silences the cultists*

[Jeremiah smiles]  *softly*  Oh my God that’s awesome... oh my God...

*Jeremiah purges the cultists*  OOOHHHHHH

Here’s my question:  where’s Ecco?

“Perhaps the outcome was not what we had hoped, - but it was worth the risk.“  Oswald, shut up.  Let everybody enjoy their booze.

*Butch decides not to join Oswald*  Thank you!

Is that an old church?

“Think think think think think think...”  Haha!

“Who are you?  What do you want?”  “I [Ra’s]had a vision.  Of Gotham in flames.”  *gasps*

OOHHHH MY GODDD.... OH my God, I was right!

I freaking called it [Jeremiah and Ra’s meeting]!  I freaking called it!  Jeremiah and Ra’s are gonna cause No Man’s Land...

“Because, my boy-”  Mah boy... not a good sign!  Not a good thing!

“-this is about Bruce Wayne.”  Of course it is!  It’s always about Bruce!

Drink all the booze!

It’d be cool if we see Bludhaven next season.

Oh I like that lighting... it’s so good!  Jim in yellow and Lee in blue...

“But whatever happens after I walk out that door, I care about you.  And I always will.“  Aawww...

Oh man, this is sad.  Man...

Freaking Ed... get the heck out!

Get frozen in ice again!

*The precinct applauds Harvey*  Yaaayy!  Yay, recognition for Harvey!  This is stuff I like this show!  Yaaay!

Happy ending?  In a “Gotham” episode?  It’s probably less likely than I think!

[Bruce and Alfred] Hug!  Please!  Hug!

*Alfred leaves*  Dang it.

“Thank you again.  I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there.”  Aaawww...

Oh oh oh are they are they-

*Bruce and Selina kiss*  OOOHHHHHH!!!  Yes!

“Jeremiah said all it takes is one bad day to drive a person insane. I wonder if my parents dying made me [Bruce] a little insane.“  Mmmm....

*gasps when Jeremiah strolls in*

*Jeremiah shoots Selina*  OOOHHHHHHHH!! NO! NOOOO!!!

*Alfred tackles Jeremiah to the ground and beats the crap out of him*  YES YES YES YES THANK YOU!

NOOOO!!  No, no, she’s alive!

*Credits start playing*  Screw this entire show.  I’m done.