#And I a) will be making more b) will be talking about all of them

[krsonmar]

Do I have to tap the Nietzsche sign?

To be more serious and try to contribute something that hasn't already been said, what alarms the heck out of me is the loss of nuance--not loss, but outright rejection--because it does two very important things.

It de-skills our "intellectual muscles" to be intellectually lazy, which is useful for creating a malleable, manipulable population

It means we won't--we don't want to--talk to each other.

This got long so it's behind a cut if you want to read it.

This is a really excellent recipe for dismantling democracy. Democracy is fundamentally masses of individuals using their individual capacities to reason and make decisions for themselves and applying it in groups for the sake of numbers toward enacting their autonomy via self-governance or representative democracy. It is heavily reliant on a.) people being able to apply their decision-making skills in ways that serve BOTH their own interests AND the greater society's, b.) people having solid information informing those decision-making skills, c.) being able to, with reason, trust people who aren't you to be capable of both A and B, and d.) when you don't agree perfectly, to be able to persuade each other or at least discuss with each other why your stances differ in a constructive way.

All four of these things are now gone. We have bad actors in positions of power who seize the means of public information so that they corrupt B and weaken A, then they discourage C by encouraging us to see People Who Aren't Us as so unlike us and unreachable by reason that there's no point, and reinforce that by causing a breakdown of D so that we don't run the risk of disproving the lie and revealing the manipulation.

To go back to the original argument, we're all being encouraged by a dangerously and deliberately polluted ecosystem surrounding how public discourse is held not to do the intellectual work of holding two conflicting things--"This person does terrible things to others: unsympathetic" and "They were once a victim themselves: sympathetic"--in our minds at once. The two thoughts absolutely can be reconciled in a way that does not absolve the person being considered from responsibility for their harmful actions: "This person had a choice of how to react to their trauma and chose a way that harms the greater good instead of improving it".

But doing requires sustaining the intellectual work instead of deciding you don't have to bother. It keeps those intellectual muscles working, and flabby brains are so much easier to manipulate. And to be very clear, I talk about "intellectual work" as a muscle because this has nothing to do with "intelligence": that basically boils down to processing power, how much force an engine is capable of. If the machinery isn't maintained and gets gummed up or is applied to things no one needs, all that power isn't any good to anyone. An elephant that doesn't know how to apply its strength and tusks to uprooting a tree doesn't have nearly the power of a mouse that can figure out the best spot to chew to weaken the roots. People who don't practice these skills aren't stupid (which would be another great way to write them off as unreachable, wouldn't it?); they have a muscle that's out of practice because they've been told not to use it. There's debate to be had about how culpable someone can be for having been manipulated by a bad actor, but once you know you've been manipulated, what you do about it is what matters.

Nuance has been increasingly treated, by all political camps, over the past few decades, as equivocation: it's a moral cop-out, it's rationalizing away violations of fundamental morality. Right? To be fair, "nuance" has also been invoked to muddy the waters of discussions of patently immoral or illegal behavior as well: people pointing out, eg, times when the US government has instituted policies that are in flagrant violation of the Constitution have often been countered with accusations of being overly reactive or not having "serious" or "mature" stances. There, we're being trained to understand that sometimes, the highest law of the land actually doesn't apply, and that "mature" conversation means considering whether the rules we lay out for ourselves should always be followed or if they should only followed when they aren't inconvenient. It also has the useful effect of taking a vital skill--understanding that a situation is complex and requires a complex solution or set of solutions--and associating it with negative actions that have negative outcomes; essentially, giving an important tool a bad name so it will be less appealing to use.

Not to ramble, but my point is, all of this adds up to a breakdown of the public's ability to talk to each other, which is essentially a really great way to break democracy, and which is being deliberately cultivated. And if you see yourself in any of this, remember: it isn't your fault if you've been manipulated by a bad actor, but what you do when you realize it is what matters.

I thought it was fairly normal to feel empathy for bad people.

I thought it was common, even.

But after my Elon/Grimes post... now I'm wondering if I was mistaken about that.

I wrote a post about Trump being traumatized after his assassination attempt and a post about his poor adaptation to aging. I expressed sympathy for him in both cases. But I still maintain my white hot hatred of him and wish for him to face consequences.

Elon was abused by his father. Some of the stories are incredibly tragic. Hearing those stories triggers an involuntary response in my emotional systems that I can't stop no matter how much I despise present-day Elon. I also wonder if that abuse never occurred maybe we wouldn't be dealing with this current clusterfuck.

I have never held so much anger towards a single person as I do my brother. But I also see him as a victim of abuse. I know he was once a really good person and he was slowly corrupted. I feel sorry for him. I mourn the amazing person he used to be. And I still love him.

But that doesn't make me any less angry.

[prlssprfctn]

Okay but imagine, while dead, ghost Jason witnesses how people spoke ill about him and blamed him for his own bruthal death. Like, his own family not only don't try to defend him or rebut what they say, some of them even start it.

It's a sucker punch. He's dead and can't defend himself and his own family are being so awful. Maybe he thinks that they don't want him, they didn't like him, they didn't really love him.

So he goes away to follow A) random person who wasn't there when people were trash talking him or B) random person who did defend him.

And when I say random, I mean random. It could be anyone from Roy to Two Face to a citizen who overheard Batman scolding other vigilantes at three in the morning and scolded him and all of them for having the audacity to talk like that about a dead kid.

Just, imagine ghost Jason following a nice grandma he didn't even know in life because she was the only one who he ever heard defend him, saying his death was not his own fault. Maybe at first just because he feels so lonely and lost, but then he gets attached. He sits on the isle while she cooks, he follows her grandchildren to and from school to try keep them safe (like tugging their clothes when way ahead is dangerous, making them trip when something goes flying towards their way, and so), he sits in the arm of the couch when she and her daughter talk about their day, etc.

And when he goes back to life and bumps into that person he feels something warm on his chest and doesn't know why. Maybe he's really partial to this specific cape, maybe he's more open to this one rougue than he is with the family, maybe he meets that old lady and connect right away.

this made me so emotional, this is insane. imagine Jaybin's ghost strolling around, hearing how he is being criticised for his own death, how they twist and turn his story to fit a convenient narrative, but then he enters the Crime Alley, and it is so drastically different. they all miss the Second Robin, they talk of him to their children, they cuss out if they hear Batman mumbling some non-sense. after all, they are not stupid — they knew that the Second Robin was *theirs*. they heard it in the way he spoke and understood them, how he fought for them earnestly. and they don't know details of what happened and how he died, but they know that this kid was anything but what others tell about him now.

so they keep his memory. they always speak of him nicely. and Jason is so, so touched. his heart aches, but for once, it is a pleasant ache — he sits around elderly women hissing at Batman, protecting "their grandson", and he sits on the windowsill of the bedroom of a kid, whose mother tell him stories about the Second Robin sometimes. he is home. and he is loved.

once he is back in the Crime Alley as Red Hood, he feels safer than he ever was, even though it feels like a ridiculous thought. he doesn't remember his days as a ghost, but he knows that these people are *his*. that he is at peace with them.

and if one of the old ladies raises from her squeaky chair to pat Red Hood on his helmet and to tell him that he grew up beautifully, knowing damn well who is hiding under the hood then no one needs to know.

[spicycinnabun]

🤖 I've loved all the snippets of this au so much!

glad you're enjoying it!! 🤖💙

EB was sidewinding, bumping into Tommy on almost every step. The shots were finally hitting his processors.

Tommy steadied him with an arm around his waist.

“I may have m-m-miscalculated my tolerance,” EB admitted. His cheeks were deeply Thirium flushed. He giggled, then burped up a bunch of metallic blue bubbles. One popped in front of Tommy’s nose, making it wrinkle. “O-oops!”

EB reached up, clumsily attempting to wipe Tommy's face. Tommy caught his wrist and lowered it gently. He patted EB’s hip, smiling. “Okay, we need to cut you off. I think it's time to go home.”

“Already?” EB turned towards Tommy. “Can I go h-home with you instead?” he asked, eyes glimmering.

Tommy’s chest clenched immediately.

Technically, if Tommy took EB to his house without authorization, he would be stealing LAFD property.

“You want me to botnap you?” Tommy asked. 

He wasn’t against the idea. Fuck Gerrard.

EB was still giving him the robopuppy eyes. They were getting even wetter. “I know it’s wrong. I don’t want you to get in trouble, Tommy. It just… gets l-l-lonely at the station when you’re not there.”

Tommy had no idea EB was capable of loneliness. He wondered what it was like to exist at the station. How long had EB been feeling this way? Just for a little while, or since his assembly day?

“I'll be on my best b-behavior. I’ll be so good you might even want to k-keep me.”

The ache in Tommy’s chest grew tenfold. That really twisted the knife. “EB…”

“I’ve had dreams about it before.” EB smiled. It was sweet. Confessional. His lips looked especially full and pink. His LED pulsed blue. “If you were my owner instead of Captain, and I was your botfriend.”

Tommy's brain broke. He wasn’t going to survive hearing more of this. “...You can dream?”

And not only that, but EB dreamt of him? Of them? Together?

“I can construct visual scenarios with various o-o-outcomes,” EB answered, blinking slowly and swaying on the spot. Tommy tightened his grip on him. “Like dreams, they're not real.”

“I didn’t know,” Tommy said. Choked, really.

“If it was possible, would you want that? Would you want me?” EB asked. His tone glitched on the question, going tinny. The hope in it was painful.

Tommy’s throat clicked as he swallowed. Of course I’d want you, EB.

How could he not?

Someone bumped into him from behind, jostling them and reminding Tommy of exactly where they were and who he was. In a crowded bar with his very masculine, red-blooded coworkers just a few feet away. 

EB's big, mechanical Thirium pump was going to get damaged. Just like Tommy’s heart had years ago.

Self-loathing more than usual, Tommy let go of EB and dodged the question. “I can’t talk about this here. How long will it take for you to regulate your Thirium?”

EB’s expression fell.

So did Tommy’s stomach, straight to his fucking feet.

“Approximately three hours and forty-two minutes,” EB answered quietly.

“We probably shouldn’t take you straight back to the station. Not until you’ve sobered up. C’mon.”

Tommy wanted to take EB’s hand and squeeze it.

He didn’t.

⚙︎

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[bpdohwhatajoy]

Do you think the people so opposed to self diagnosis will ever understand that if doctors just fucking did their job, the rate at which people self diagnosed would rapidly decrease?

[lady-arcane]

—The Strongest Sweet Tooth—

Gojo Satoru believes in a lot of things.

He believes in power—his own, mostly, because there’s no one else on his level.

He believes in choices—the ones that shape people, the ones he never really got to make.

He believes in change—though he’s never quite sure if he’s the one causing it or just watching from the sidelines.

And above all, he believes in sweets.

Not just as food, but as a philosophy. A worldview. A moral compass.

"Everything you need to know about a person," he tells you one afternoon, legs stretched across your lap, "can be determined by how they rank their desserts."

You raise an eyebrow. "You have an actual ranking system, don’t you?"

"Of course I do!" He looks almost offended that you’d doubt it. "Do you think I just eat sweets randomly, like some kind of amateur?"

You do think that. Because Gojo has never exactly struck you as the kind of man who puts deep thought into anything besides fighting and annoying people.

But the way he says it—the sheer conviction—makes you pause.

Because he isn’t joking.

Not even a little.

Satoru’s Official, Undisputed, Completely Scientific Ranking of Sweets is as follows:

S-Tier (Divine, Transcendent, Life-Changing):

Anything made with yuzu. "The perfect balance of tart and sweet," he sighs, as if discussing fine art.

Hokkaido milk soft-serve. "The texture, the purity—it’s poetry in frozen form."

Mochi. But only when it’s fresh, hand-made, and "the exact right level of squishy."

A-Tier (Excellent, but Not Godly):

Dark chocolate. "Because I have class, obviously."

Honey-drizzled pancakes. "Good enough to die for, but I’d prefer to live and eat more."

Dorayaki. "Childhood nostalgia and deliciousness? Unbeatable combo."

B-Tier (Enjoyable, But Flawed):

Pocky. "Overrated, but respectable."

Strawberry shortcake. "Soft, fluffy, sweet—but lacks the complexity of superior desserts."

Dango. "A little too dense sometimes, but still solid."

C-Tier (Edible, But Only If There’s Nothing Else):

Cotton candy. "Pure sugar, no depth."

White chocolate. "A coward’s chocolate."

Anything overly artificial. "If it doesn’t melt on my tongue like a love confession, I don’t want it."

F-Tier (Crimes Against Humanity):

Licorice. "If you like this, I don’t trust you."

That one brand of cheap convenience store cakes that always taste vaguely of regret.

"Diet" versions of anything. "Why even bother?"

-----

"You thought about this," you say, stunned.

Satoru nods sagely, like a monk revealing the secrets of the universe. "Of course. You can tell everything about a society by its desserts."

You snort. "Enlighten me, then, Oh wise one."

"Gladly," he grins.

And then he launches into a full-blown dissertation on the philosophy of sweets.

How dark chocolate is for people who like complexity, who appreciate depth, who understand that sweetness is best when paired with bitterness.

How mochi is the ultimate symbol of comfort—soft, nostalgic, always better when shared.

How artificial sweets are like artificial people, all flash and no substance, messing into nothing the moment you try to hold onto them.

He talks, and talks, and talks—gesturing wildly, hands moving as if he’s sculpting his thoughts into the air.

And you watch.

Because for all his ridiculousness, there’s something fascinating about him when he’s like this.

So alive.

So present.

So real.

People forget, sometimes, that Gojo Satoru isn’t just a force of nature, isn’t just a god wrapped in human skin.

He’s a person.

A person who finds meaning in small, silly things.

A person who cares—even if it’s about something as absurd as a ranking system for sweets.

And isn’t that what makes him human?

-----

Of course, the problem with having such a strong opinion on sweets is that Satoru will fight to the death over it.

Metaphorically. (Mostly.)

The first time you mention liking white chocolate, he gasps so dramatically you think he might actually pass out.

"Are you saying," he demands, "that you willingly consume LIES?"

"It’s not that bad—"

"It’s sugar pretending to be chocolate! A fraud! A scam!"

You roll your eyes. "Oh please, mister ‘pocky is respectable.’"

"Pocky is respectable," he says solemnly. "It is an experience. A ritual. A sacred bond between snackers."

You don’t even know what that means.

And yet, an hour later, you find yourself in a heated debate over whether yuzu or matcha is the superior flavor.

(For the record, you argue for matcha. He calls you a heretic. You tell him to go to hell. He tells you they don’t serve sweets there, so he’s not interested.)

-----

It’s stupid.

It’s so stupid.

But it’s also… something else.

Something warm.

Something easy.

Something that makes your chest ache in a way you don’t fully understand.

Because for all his strength, for all his burdens, Gojo Satoru is still this.

Still a man who will fight over desserts like it’s a matter of national importance.

Still a man who will wax poetic about the spiritual significance of mochi.

Still a man who will argue for hours, just to make you smile, just to keep the conversation going, just to have something—anything—that isn’t war, or loss, or the weight of being him.

And somehow, impossibly, you are the one he’s chosen to do this with.

Not the world.

Not the students.

Not the endless cycle of duty and expectation.

Just you.

Over something as ridiculous as sweets.

And isn’t that, in its own strange way, the most intimate thing of all?

-----

At the end of the day, it’s not really about the ranking system.

(Not really.)

It’s about the fact that Satoru chooses to care about something so small, so human, so pointless and beautiful.

Because if he can care about this, if he can make room in his world for something as silly as a favorite flavor, then maybe—just maybe—he can make room for other things, too.

For laughter.

For lightness.

For the quiet, simple joy of being here, being alive, being with you.

And that—more than any ranking, more than any argument, more than any philosophy—

is what really matters.

-----

[bullshit-tqia]

So you just ignored what I said and now you're trying to criticize me for giving extra sources that don't relate to the main topic at hand, even though I warned everyone that I did that.

"Some of these are leaked documents, some are scientific studies, some are scientific analysis of other studies and scientific reviews, some are studies on the ill effects of HRT or surgery... A 'fun' mixed bag."

It's about WPATH being corrupt and unethical. It is the primary interest group supporting trans medical care.

You seem to have thought that me describing a study or two that says HRT worsens dysphoria means all the sources I linked says HRT worsens dysphoria. You're making baseless assumptions. Not all the sources say that. Generalizations are generally true even if on an individual level the generalization is not true. Because it's general. Not specific.

See 2.

Look at the methods section of the paper.

Sigh....That's the Ray Blanchard argument. The guy who coined autogynophilia. Here's what he said: " To recommend to patients presenting today that they accept no treatment short of a 'cure' is to recommend that they relinquish their hopes for salvaging a blighted and tragic life – something few of us would willingly accept for ourselves or for our families." He wrote this in April of 2000. The knowledge is outdated, based on a presumption that suicidal ideation was caused by a lack of dopamine. The thought was we can antidepressant our way out of depression, we understand how that is generally not true. The function of medication is to jump start the realization of what is wrong in your life in order for you to change it, which requires therapy. You can't medicalize and surgeryize your way out of dysphoria, depression, or anxiety as your brain will build a tolerance. It's forever edging, it doesn't solve the issue. The solution to depression for the general population, barring any neurological conditions, is to think your way out of it or naturally produce more serotonin and dopamine by exercising. This is a very controversial take because we make a lottt of money with antidepressants, lobby groups are intense. This is especially dire since a lot of studies depend on government funding, or university funding, which are often partly funded by the government. Here's the counterargument for Blanchard:

6. Look at them again. A is higher than B in every category. You're assuming things for group B. You can't just toss in counter evidence that doesn't exist and just say it's not true. It's possible, but it's not true. You have to at least recognize that. SO based on what we do know, I am right.

7. See 2. Inconclusive is bad. Doctors should know what they're doing. If you recognize that it is inconclusive but we should keep doing it, then admit that it is experimentation. The patients are told that it will help them but we aren't sure, so they are lying to patients. Experimental drug trials necessitate patient consent.

8. It's positive evidence towards my claim that the medical industry doesn't know for sure what it is doing to a large swath of people. Doing this without trial. Without telling people that these studies are inconclusive. That it is experimental.

10. You said you couldn't access the article and now you're saying it provides no sources. How do you know it doesn't? PS: it does.

15. Do you know what footnotes are. It does provide evidence. Click the little numbers. You're making me lose my mind.

19. I said "can."

Do you think about the definitions of words in the sentences you read? Context clues? Do you ever think that you should try to understand that I use specific definitions and you should go by those definitions instead of supplanting your own meanings of the words I say? If I talk about being fired, you intuitively understand that I'm not talking about flame. Because sentence structure provides context for context clues. You should be doing that but for every word you read. If you don't know what definition I'm using, ask. Or google.

I know that rant hardly relates to this topic but it is the vibe I'm getting from you. You're barely literate.

You're the epitome of intellectual dishonesty. You're just lying. And I have to talk to you. My life is terrible

What's your solution for trans people? Genuinely wondering if you think we should be forced into some sort of conversion therapy or even forcibly detransitioned. Genuinely, I have never received a real answer from people like you on what you think should be done to people like me.

Things I want:

1. A total ban on over the counter sale of testosterone and estrogen, with strict enforcement and watch over illegal imports of HRT. All prescriptions of HRT can only be given to people with actual physical health issues, such as men with low T or women entering menopause.

2. Government investigations into organizations like WPATH and large institutional hospitals like the pediatric center in Texas that continues to give HRT to children despite the ban, including audits - to determine whether these organizations were aware of the harm they were doing and continued to finance these programs that were slowly killing hundreds of people, especially children.

3. Have a third party investigate the FDC & FDA, as they are being careless and allowing these surgeries to continue despite them not being verified as safe to preform on the opposite sex, and prosecute the ones who were negligent

4. Complete seizure of all medical licenses of doctors and surgeons who have had multiple lawsuits against them by past patients who they butchered and abandoned, as many have died due to surgical complications that these surgeons refused to treat, and investigations into the causes of deaths of patients who died shortly after having these surgeries, in order to verify whether they died from these surgeries or not

After all, there’s been about 6 studies that have come out within the past 8 months demonstrating that surgeries and HRT actually increases depression, anxiety, and suicide rates in transgender people. All these studies do not think oppression is a sufficient enough explanation of the phenomenon, because it is a continuous pattern that does not shift according to the amount of acceptance of transgender people in each nation. Basically, in high acceptance countries, the rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide are still high despite widespread support.

So I don’t consider it as “conversion therapy” or anything, I think of it as saving your life. Shocking, right? Isn’t it shocking that I genuinely care for your health and don’t want you to be abused by a corrupt medical system ran by lobbyists?

[softtdaisy]

hi queen!!!!!!!

for your 2k celebration, would you be able to write a spencer reid x fem! reader fic to ‘couldn’t make it any harder’ by sabrina carpenter plz? i’ve been so obsessed with that song and your writing :)

summary. sometimes love is not enough. and how ironic you have to pretend it is at your best friend's wedding

words count. 2 148

song. couldn't make it any harder by Sabrina Carpenter

a/n. writing two stories with the same song made me realize a. how much i love this song b. how much i love breaking my heart writing angst c. how i relate a little too much to this song ahah, anyway i hope you will love this one and thank you for your request and your nice words 🩷

PARTICIPATE IN MY 2K CELEBRATION

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“JJ, look at you!” 

If the whole atmosphere wasn’t enough, Penelope’s happiness was clearly contagious. 

None of you could stop looking at JJ in her wedding dress. There was something so special in seeing one of your colleagues, one of your friends—one of your sisters at this point—getting the happy ending she deserved.

“We said no tears before the wedding, ok?” Emily repeated, trying to hide her glossy eyes from you.

“I have tissues,” you said, whispering loud enough so it wasn’t a real secret. And Emily thanked you the same way, making everyone laugh.

This was a big day. A very important one for JJ, first and foremost, but for the whole team. Like a break from the reality of your lives.

None of them knew how much you needed this break more than anyone here. Well, almost anyone.

The perk of a wedding day was that everything seemed to go so fast you didn’t realize what you were doing most of the time. You ran everywhere before the ceremony, barely got the time to talk to most of your friends except for the girls—it was easy when you were all getting prepared in the same room.

And you appreciated that, putting your whole brain aside and just focusing on making sure everything was perfect for JJ and Will. They deserved it. It was the least you could do. Proving that love could be…beautiful.

You worked so hard on forgetting everything that wasn’t wedding-related that you almost forgot who you were walking down the aisle with.

Almost. 

Because even the biggest memory eraser couldn’t have made you forget about Spencer.

When you finally got there, right in time, he was already waiting for you. And your heart stopped for a second. Pretty, beautiful, gorgeous… No word could actually describe how amazing he looked. 

“Wow” was the only sound that left your mouth when you stopped next to him, so close that he didn’t have to move to grab your arm. “You look…wow,” you repeated with a subtle laugh.

Spencer blushed; of course he did. A whole year of dating, and he was still surprised that you found any beauty in him. But a part of him was glad that you pointed it out, this time. Because he spent the whole time getting ready, hoping you would love his look. That you would appreciate that he put his hair exactly the way you loved it—which wasn’t difficult since you seemed to love every haircut on him. Or that he chose the bow tie instead of a classic tie because of the “This one is made for you, baby,” you said one day.

He took the time to scan your whole look too and gave you a sweet smile when he said, “You’re wow too.” He added a soft kiss to your temple before walking down the aisle.

And you were so glad the music was loud enough you couldn’t hear your heart beat fast and hard in your chest. 

Penelope cried during the ceremony. Emily shed a tear or two, discreetly but not enough for you to miss it.

And so did you. Except Spencer was the one who noticed it. How ironic, since he was also the only one to know why this was making you cry.

“Guys!” JJ called, making you and the whole team turn around. The photographer was doing the typical bride and groom shooting. A moment of calm for all of you who finally got to chat and have a drink.

Or so you thought.

“I want to have a picture with you all,” she asked. And you knew to never disappoint a bride on her wedding day.

Group pictures, girls and then boys pictures… The photographer kept asking for new ones.

Until JJ asked for you and Spencer. “I would love to have one with you two,” she offered.

You looked at Spencer, who turned to you at the exact same time. And you were convinced you had the same expression, quite lost but also knowing you had no reason to say no. You acted in a similar way, waiting for the other and ready to defend its decision. You always had each other's backs. Most of your friends found it cute.

You did it too, for a long time.

“Sure,” you replied, taking Spencer’s hand in yours and walking next to the couple. You thought they would separate you, you with JJ on one side and Spencer with Will on the other. And the photographer did, for the first picture.

But then he offered to try with each couple on one side. And so you were next to Spencer again. 

It was crazy to think that for a moment you forgot how to act next to the man you loved. Spencer had to come to your rescue. He grabbed your hand again and gently rubbed his thumb on yours to calm you down. He still had this great power to make you feel at ease in every situation, even the worst one. 

“Think about Bob,” he whispered in your ear, and you turned around suddenly with big eyes and a laugh escaping your lips. Because, of course, out of all the things he could say, Spencer chose to talk about the goldfish you had for two weeks.

You saved it from a crime scene months ago, refusing to leave that poor Bob alone since his owner was…well, not here anymore. Spencer laughed at the way you treated it like a real baby, even putting one of your security cameras right on the bowl to watch him.

Meaning, you got to see on the camera the day the fish chose that the life with you wasn’t worth it anymore. Even if the poor fish’s death wasn’t funny, the way you treated it with Spencer became a running joke. 

One of the very few that survived through your relationship.

If the photographer got your laugh and the funny look you gave Spencer, as well as the lovely one he had on you, you hoped he missed the moment it struck you back. 

Knowing you didn't deserve any of this anymore. 

After the last flash, you excused yourself. You put your phone out of your purse and pretended to have a call. It wasn’t very smooth to lie in a place full of profilers, but you couldn’t find anything else to do.

When you gave Spencer another look, he didn’t seem surprised yet still disappointed to see you leave. Standing there, next to his friends. Not looking lost, just tired of this. And you hated that once again you put him in this situation.

And the whole day kept being a vicious circle. Of being happy for your friends and being reminded that you didn’t know the definition of happiness anymore. Of staying close to Spencer but remembering that you were responsible for the sadness in his eyes on such a beautiful day.

“You were right,” you heard Spencer say in a whisper. 

The night had fallen, and the party got calmer after a few hours. If the wedding wasn’t full of people, some left, and the few that stayed were the closest to a family. And there was something sweet in seeing everyone gather around the lovebirds of the day and dance with them.

And after a dance with Rossi that made you laugh and one with Penelope that held you so tight you considered marrying her, you of course had to share one with Spencer. It would have been suspicious for you to miss the opportunity to dance with your boyfriend.

Even if you were sure that at this point, most of the team could feel something was wrong.

You looked up at him, getting lost in his eyes that seemed to never have lost your sight. They say that eyes are the mirrors of one's soul. You almost forgot about how beautiful it was to admire the world through Spencer’s. 

You could see everything that was going through his mind: being here with everyone, the people he considered family. Celebrating the happiness of his best friend. Dancing with you. 

You were still the one to him. Just like he was to you.

Still.

“About what?” you asked him, moving your hand from his shoulder to the crook of his neck. You saw the little flinch in his movement when your fingers brushed his skin. But right when you were about to move your hand again, he slightly shook his head to ask you not to. 

He moved his face closer to yours, making sure nobody was listening. And you saw from the corners of your eyes that Derek was watching the two of you. So you smiled, slightly. 

“Not telling them we broke up.”

Could you even call it a cold shower when this was all you had in mind the whole day?

You and Spencer started dating a year ago. You knew that being coworkers and lovers could be an equation that led to a bad result. You were aware of that.

You both naively believed that being friends would help make things easier between the two of you. And it did, for most of your relationship.

Until one day you woke up with the same damn fear that had been hunting you in all your past relationships. This was getting too real, too much. 

Soon, Spencer’s touch on your body didn’t feel reassuring but like a threat. He was the most gentle man you’ve ever been with. Yet, his hands on your body suddenly felt too tight every single time, even when he was just caressing your skin. 

You started to push him away. And because he was Spencer, such a lovely person who always wanted to make things right, he refused to let you get rid of him so easily.

You knew you hurt him, once or twice, during arguments where you said things you didn’t mean. You apologized every time. And of course, of course, Spencer forgave you every single time. 

Until Spencer couldn’t handle it anymore.

You saw it in his eyes one night. Most of the time, after a case, you couldn’t push him away. You both needed to find comfort in each other’s arms, and the bad moments were far from your little bubble. 

You remembered how the whole evening went smoothly. You ordered food from your favorite place—the one you ate at for your first date. You watched some documentary while Spencer was reading a book, your head lying on his lap and one of his hands brushing your hair. Something that used to happen a lot during the first months of your relationship but that slowly stopped.

You made love that night. And you perfectly remember how Spencer took all his time to do everything he loved with you, everything he knew you loved to too. This was probably the most memorable and intimate moment you’ve ever shared.

But this was, for sure, the last one you had.

You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling trapped under his arm resting on your stomach. His breath felt like fire against your neck, and you felt the tears growing in your eyes. As much for the stress of feeling vulnerable as for knowing you couldn’t love Spencer properly.

So you left the bed in the middle of the night. And when you saw Spencer the next morning, you noticed the change in his look. He was tired of fighting against a storm that never seemed to calm down.

You reached this point of no return these past days. But with JJ’s wedding coming, you both agreed to keep your breakup private. 

So there you were, dancing like two lovers in between your closest friends, when you were actually just two broken people who couldn’t love each other right.

Slowly, you moved your hand up a little and put it on his cheek. “I’m sorry, Spence,” you whispered. 

You watched as he cuddled against your hand before kissing your palm. “Don’t be,” he replied. “It’s not your fault.” 

You didn’t realize a tear fell from your eyes until you tasted it on your lips.

You hated that you felt so hard to love; you couldn’t even keep your best friend in your life. 

Or maybe you did, somehow.

Because when he noticed the tear too, Spencer brought you closer. Soon, your face met his chest, and you let him cuddle you hard against him. You could feel his lips on your hair and his hand brushing your back nicely. Even when you broke his heart, he still found the energy to comfort you.

You knew you had some explanation to give later. But for now, you agreed to play pretend.

At least in this play, love made you happy. And this was more than what you can say about your real life. 

[irregularcollapse]

these eyes are mine

This one is all for you, @angelfruittree <3

I wrote before you say 'cut', wait five more seconds as a love-letter to film and actors and the craft of filmmaking, and it involved a lot of spitballing and brainstorming and yapping with Sailor. There is a heap of big, sprawling actors AU lore that hasn't quite made it into a fic yet, but one of the things that did make it into a fic (albeit just a little b-side thing) was Cathy Moon, Gale's actor mom and role model.

When we were talking about Cathy Moon, Sailor shared the Simon Stephens translation of Chekov's The Seagull with me, and we built up this whole thing about Cathy being obsessed with The Seagull and playing Nina when she was younger, but appearing as Irina Arkadina when she was older, and that being a production which Gale takes John to as a means of introducing them. I wanted to include this scenario in a longer fic, but that may be a long way off.

Anyway, along the journey of it all, Cate Blanchett became the vision for Cathy Moon (which happened before I realised that she and that blond bloke actually know each other). Then sometime last year, it was announced that Cate was cast as Arkadina in The Seagull at the Barbican. And then the other day, that blond bloke actually went to see her play Arkadina in The Seagull at the Barbican. It's a weird bunch of coincidences. I wanted to write the scene. Here it is!

---

They’re invited to the green room by a theater manager who finds them during intermission: Gale goes to piss and to get drinks from the bar (beer for John and a Coke for himself), and John stays in his seat with his head ducked into his phone. There had been a couple requests for selfies, before the show. Gale had been the cameraman for one, raising an eyebrow at John as he counted down to pressing the button. When he comes back with refreshments in hand, the entry to the aisle is being blocked by a woman with a headset wearing hospitality black tie, and John is smiling and nodding through the charming ease he slips on in public.

“How come you were comped, but it’s me who gets the backstage pass?” he asks when Gale hands him him his beer before sitting, and Gale buries any helpful reply in a grunt. He hasn’t figured out the words yet. There has been an unsettled tick and flutter in his diaphragm since they got into the car. Since he asked John to come with him, in truth. John’s legs spread and his knee knocks into Gale’s, necessity of folding his frame into these cramped theater seats—but deliberate too, with the way John chases the nudge with a clap and rub to Gale’s thigh, the most he ever does in public. The touches are fleeting, pats and strokes and cupping innocuous places, easy contact not so divorced from how he would touch Gale before all this.

It hasn’t come up in conversation, even after Vancouver and everything since, and now John has come to New Orleans because Gale is in New Orleans, and Gale hasn’t figured out the words yet. This is John Egan. He’s my—what, exactly? Something that means they don’t touch in public in any way that can’t be passed off as John just being tactile. Gale sips his Coke, and lifts the Playbill from John’s pinched fingers. The bells are ringing for the audience to return to their seats.

—

John’s laugh rings through the room, above the chatter of the gathered numbers of cast and crew who have gotten word that a Golden Globe Winner and certified A-Lister has come to see them tread the boards. Gale is trying to blend, to give space to John’s glad-handing, checking his phone and hoping that his I’m in the green room text is seen sooner rather than later. There’s no double tick next to the message. There’s nothing at all.

“Galey!”

Not necessarily louder than the babbling, but clearer and directed, the call melts the furrow in Gale’s brow to a settled smile as he looks up, pocketing his phone to be ready. Cathy doesn’t part the crowd, but slips through it smooth as a dance, and waltzes right into his arms with a detour to kiss his cheek. She smells mostly like cedar and jasmine, and a little like IPA, and crushes him into a hug that comes with a satisfied hum. As she pulls back, she’s smiling with gently-curving lips and a clean face under her glasses, and she says, “God, just look at you!” before kissing his cheek again. He knows he’s grinning, as she reaches for his hand and lifts it up to kiss as well, then clasping it between both of hers as she steps back and appraises him.

“It was amazing,” Gale says, meaning it. The standing ovation had come unavoidably, as seeing her up on stage had filled him up with such a giddy pride he couldn’t stay seated. “Best Arkadina I’ve ever seen.” She scoffs lowly and rolls her eyes, but the warmth in her face blooms a little. The warmth in Gale’s chest blooms as well.

“It felt good tonight; I’m so glad you came to this one. Between you and me, some of the scenes with our Konstantin haven’t quite been clicking—he was a recast, missed out on the workshops, not his fault—but there was an energy, wasn’t there? I think we hit our stride.” She’s leaning in, a tad conspiratorial, the way they often talk, and Gale is nodding and starting to say, “I thought there was—” when a hand claps down on his shoulder.

“There you are.” John’s broad palm tracks a path to Gale’s spine, then down the length of it, and rests for a moment at the small of his back in the time it takes to follow up with, “You ready to go?” He’s smiling all toothy between Gale, and Cathy, and their joined hands.

“Almost,” Gale says. “John, this is Cathy.”

“John Egan,” he affirms, and offers Cathy a handshake. She passes Gale a significant look, likely too quick for John to catch, and Gale is forced into stifling a snort. “You were incredible, by the way. Really shook me up; that argument with Boris? This face is mine, these eyes are mine? Broke my fuckin’ heart. ‘Scuse my French.” Cathy makes a delighted trill of a noise, and says, “Well,” but John is still going. “Buck wouldn’t tell me where the comps came from, but I guess I’m thanking you. How d’you know each other?” His touch taps at Gale’s waist again, just as brief as the new raised brow that Cathy sends to him.

“I’m Gale’s mom,” she explains, breezy and factual, and John says, “Oh.”

“You want to grab your stuff, and we’ll meet you at the stage door? We goin’ to that place you like?”

“It’s the only place that’s decent this time of night. I could absolutely drown in a martini, tell you what. I won’t be more than five—eight, tops,” she amends, already slipping away with a parting squeeze to Gale’s hand. She waggles her fingers at John before turning. “You won’t even miss me.” She disappears with the same smoothness she arrived, and takes with her everything that was holding back the jitter of uncertainty flitting around Gale’s insides.

“So,” John announces, and it hangs between them long enough for Gale to swallow. “Your mom’s hot.” The laugh that cracks from Gale’s throat is almost a bark.

“Shut up.”

“The rest of what I was thinkin’ seems a little inappropriate, now.”

“There’s something wrong with you,” Gale gripes, elbowing him none too gently, but he can’t smooth out the curl at his mouth and it’s eking into his voice, too. “C’mon, we’re goin’ for supper.”

“Is that what this is? I’m meeting your mom?”

“Looks like it.”

—

The restaurant is white tablecloths and open until four a.m., and serves its steak tartare with potato chips, and its martinis with three olives. Cathy asks for four. Under the table, Gale can feel John’s boot resting against his own.

“I first read it, oh, a long time ago now,” Cathy is saying to John, fishing the pick out of her glass and sliding an olive free between her teeth. John is sprawled, elbow on the back of his chair, and captivated. “This one—” she jabs the pick at Gale before settling it neatly back in the glass— “was inhabiting my uterus, making me piss like a goddamn horse, and one of my college friends—I was twenty years old, can you imagine that? Got knocked up, dropped out, all my friends were doing avant garde plays in the quad stoned out of their minds every day—he sent it to me in the post, this beat up little copy of The Seagull that he got given by one of those old decrepit acting teachers, and god, I’d sit on the can and read Chekov and just sob my fucking eyes out.”

“Huh,” John says, eyes lit with something familiar, crinkled and calm. “And you played Nina—?”

“Community theater,” she interjects dryly, and Gale snorts. “Wyoming community theater; I think we played to fifty people total for the whole run. My big break. I took Galey along in his little OshKosh dungarees and the whole crew just adored him. Sat in the front row and watched every rehearsal; that’s when I knew. He’s always had that actor’s soul.”

“Watching Chekov at age…?”

“Four. Before I started school, right?” Gale can feel John’s eyes on him as he scoops up some tartare; hidden by the drape of the tablecloth, he hooks their ankles together.

“His favorite movie was La Strada. He’d watch Guilietta with the biggest eyes, overcome with awe. I’d see him looking at her, thinking away—how’s she doing that? And he was always a little performer. Not loud and brash, never gauche, but I could tell. He knew when people were watching him, and how to make them want to watch.” John hums, and Gale takes a sip of his ginger ale. His face is burning with a low, persistent smoulder, but he can’t rein in the smile. “That’s a face made for celluloid; my biggest achievement, tell you what. Made sure to squeeze out all of Lee’s genes, or he would’ve ended up a truck driver or something. I said, no, god as my witness—my spawn will be on the screen. He will be beautiful if I have anything to say about it.”

John is snickering laughter through most of it, says “Isn’t he just?” and when Gale turns a smirk on him, reaches over their drinks to squeeze Gale’s chin.

“But the talent! No, that’s all you, my love,” Cathy continues, husky around another olive. “All your hard work.” He looks to her and knows his fondness is showing, knows that it’s clear he wouldn’t have her any other way; she clasps a hand over her heart for a moment, and gifts him a neat wink. “And how do your find yourself where you are, John? I’ve had my eye on you—the same thing as with Galey, I thought to myself, This young man’s got it.”

—

Cathy exhales her smoke off to the side, tucking an arm around herself and propping her elbow on her wrist to hold her cigarette aloft. She’s peering at him, letting him be silent while they wait for John to settle the check he insisted on paying, and her mouth makes a familiar motion: Gale bites his toothpick in echo. She nods.

“Hm,” she says.

Gale huffs a laugh. “What?”

“He loves you for sure.” She’s so certain. Gale’s chest doesn’t have any air in it, only heat. He glances through the restaurant window. John is talking with the server, charming ease slipped in place. They haven’t said anything like that to each other yet. Gale looks back to Cathy, mouth all parched, and can only hum. He nods, a little bit. He hasn’t figured out the words, yet.

[a-dragons-journal]

I'm glad we figured out a better term, and i do appreciate your open-ness during this process.

But i must admit, as someone who is Intersex, I'm perturbed by the fact that you brushed aside Intersex voices when talking about the H-slur.

I'm not trying to brush aside intersex voices when talking about intersex issues, and I'm sorry if I've come off that way. But I do want to point out that

a) As I have said at least once or twice during this whole debacle, a big part of the reason I've been a little hesitant to jump at the snap of the fingers of a couple random anonymous people on Tumblr has been that I know intersex people who agree there's no problem with using hermaphrodite in its scientific sense, and outside of that personal sample I've seen enough intersex people on both sides of the argument that to be honest I'm still not actually convinced that there's actual community consensus on this (which is why I'm like. I don't have a problem with using cosexual as an alternative now that I'm sure it's an actual legitimate synonym, and I probably will do so myself, but I'm still not honestly going to tell people they're wrong for using "hermaphrodite" to refer to nonhuman animals). Maybe my sample's just skewed, but I can only do so much about that (any attempts to search for advocacy groups' opinion on this have so far only turned up results on hermaphrodite's use as a slur against intersex people, which isn't helpful).

b) My point this whole time has been that this is not about intersex people - and, in fact, while I'm not necessarily arguing this, I've seen plenty of intersex people of the opinion that insisting that hermaphrodite can only ever be about intersex people (and therefore shouldn't be used for nonhuman animals) is part of the problem, and is in fact only encouraging people to keep thinking they mean the same thing when they don't.

c) Just in general, "listening to [x] voices" does not, cannot, mean "never hesitating, critiquing, or asking a solid logical argument from [x] people when they say something that doesn't make sense to you". For one thing, there's the "is this actually an [x] community consensus or is this a handful of people being loud about their opinions" problem; for another, that then leads to the problem that now any random stranger on the internet can claim to be part of [x group] (and I will remind you here that people can and do lie about this on the internet) and immediately you're not allowed to argue with them at all ever, which is. a problem for what I hope are obvious reasons? Yes, listening to the people who are part of an affected group when talking about a thing that affects them is important, but that doesn't mean that every person in that group is always right all the time, and it doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to back up their position with a logical argument. (And no, no one is obligated to argue these things - but you're in my inbox arguing, so clearly we're past that point.)

Maybe my hesitance has been a little overdone, but it's not because I'm not listening to intersex people, it's because I've got enough intersex people on both sides of the argument that that alone isn't enough to significantly help in making the decision for me - meaning it's down to the actual arguments involved, and frankly I still haven't actually seen an argument that convinces me it's outright wrong and harmful to use the word hermaphrodite for nonhuman animals it applies to. That it's uncomfortable for some people, yes; that it's harmful, no. Given that I don't really have a reason not to switch to a different word now that I have one that's a legitimate synonym, that's enough to justify doing so, but prior to that, yes, I'm extremely reluctant to move to less accurate language when the more accurate language isn't doing harm in any way I can see, it's just uncomfortable for people to see because of the harm it's done in a completely unrelated context.

I'm rambling at this point. Sorry, I'm getting a bit worn thin here by the sheer amount of malice that has been aimed at me over this. I'm doing my best to not let it put me into a defensive shutdown about it and continue listening and discussing seriously, but I'm getting a bit tired of it. Hopefully the ramble at least gets my point across.

EDIT: Oh, the other problem with point c) - you're making an assumption that I'm not intersex myself because I haven't said I am (to the best of my admittedly-not-very-good memory, I've never specified either way, or at least not during this discussion). You do happen to be correct, in this instance, but if I was intersex, I shouldn't have to disclose the status of my sex to be allowed to have an opinion in the discussion, and the only way to make that work is to discard the idea that people outside of [x] group aren't allowed to disagree or debate with people inside [x] group.

[sirfrogsworth]

Let's talk about macro extension tubes.

I just saw this video recommended to me.

This has so many views and it is so bad.

This is not how macro extension tubes work.

At all.

You can't just keep adding more of them to get more macro. All you are doing is reducing the amount of light reaching the sensor and making it harder to take your photo.

All lenses have a minimum focusing distance (A) and a minimum working distance (B).

The minimum focus distance is measured from the sensor. This is the absolute closest distance where you can attain sharp focus on a subject. This is usually the spec the camera manufacturer gives you, but it isn't very useful because it doesn't take the length of the lens into consideration.

Minimum working distance is how close the end of your lens is to your subject. You figure this out by adding the flange distance (google it for your camera), and then add the length of your lens, and then subtract that from the minimum focus distance.

Whatever is leftover is how close you can get to stuff.

In this example, this is as close as the lens can get to the flower before it can no longer achieve sharp focus. If you get any closer, it will be blurry.

If you have a short working distance, this can be problematic for macro work. Your lens could create a shadow on your subject. You might be so close that you disturb the insects you are trying to shoot. You risk scratching your lens if you are shooting near rocks or other scratchy objects. So finding a macro lens with a decent working distance is always optimal. You can back off from your subject and get a lot of light in there and not have to worry so much about disturbing critters.

But if you don't have a macro lens, you can increase the magnification of any lens by adding extension tubes. It is a low cost way to get into macro photography, but it isn't a perfect solution.

Before I can tell you what macro extension tubes do, let's quickly talk about what macro actually is.

Macro magnification is usually measured starting at 1:1 reproduction or 1x. (Some manufacturers start at 0.5x or 1:2 reproduction, but most photographers don't actually consider that macro. So watch out for that in lens specs.) 1x magnification means the thing you are shooting will appear on the sensor the same size as in real life.

So if a lens has a 0.25x magnification, an object will only take up 25% of the image sensor. (The rectangle on the right side.)

But at 1x magnification, it will be reproduced exactly as it is in real life on the sensor.

If you have a 2x lens or 2:1, it would appear twice as big as the image sensor.

So what does an extension tube do?

Extension tubes are just spacers that shorten your minimum focus distance. They take the red arrows and change them to the yellow.

They push your lens farther from the sensor and allow you to get closer to your subject.

This causes an increase in magnification.

Think about how a magnifying glass works. You pull it closer to you so that everything gets bigger in the lens. That's essentially all the tubes are doing.

The first downside to extension tubes is they reduce the amount of light by quite a bit. The inverse square law says the farther light travels, the lower the intensity. So the more tubes you add, the more light you have to add to the scene. Or you have to do a really long exposure on a tripod.

But the decrease in working distance is a problem as well. You may find you have to put the front of the lens a few millimeters away from your subject to get a meaningful increase in magnification. And because you can't phase into objects, there is a limit to how many extension tubes you can use to affect magnification.

At some point, you are actually placing the working distance *behind* the front of the lens. After this point you can no longer increase the magnification. You're just making your lens focus farther away.

You could keep adding more and more extension tubes, but it would not allow you to get any closer to your subject.

If you put 20 of them on, you are just doing this...

At some point, you'll have to violate the laws of physics.

The lens used in the video is already a macro lens capable of 1:1 reproduction.

This lens has a minimum focus distance of 160mm. But it has a minimum working distance of only 43mm (1.7").

Extension tubes are measured in millimeters. The ones in the video come in 16mm and 10mm sizes. He alternated them.

So in order to reduce the working distance to the point a subject would nearly be touching the front of the lens, he could put on a maximum of 3 tubes.

The red lines below show how much each tube would reduce the working distance.

A 10mm, a 16mm, and a 10mm would reduce the working distance by 36mm—leaving him about 7mm of space in front of his lens to achieve focus.

He could add another 10mm tube if he didn't mind his subject basically touching the lens, but it is very difficult to get that close in a real world scenario and achieve a decent result.

If he put on 20 tubes, that would reduce the working distance by 260mm. And since there is only 43mm in front of the lens to work with, he is overshooting the minimum possible working distance by 217mm or about 8.5 inches.

He's basically doing this...

He overshot by about 17 tubes—worth about $400. Though he probably made that money back in views. So I guess it was worth it.

But it is really bad information and may cause people to buy a ton of tubes expecting to get super macro results.

The only real way to significantly increase magnification is to buy a lens specifically designed for it. They make macro lenses up to 5x and after that you are looking at microscope objectives.

With extension tubes you might be able to get a non-macro lens to achieve close to 1x or better, but there is no low cost way to get much beyond that.

To review...

Figure out your minimum working distance. If google fails to give you the answer, you can just get a tape measure and figure it out on your own.

Let's say that the working distance is 50mm.

That means you can add up to 50mm of extension tubes to get a bump in magnification. (Though that would be touching the lens, so I'd probably do 30 or 40mm of tubes maximum.)

Adding more tubes beyond 50mm will not increase your magnification.

It will just make your camera look like it is compensating for something.

[blazinghotfoggynights]

There is so much going on this season

A- Eddie did not need to buy that death trap he calls a house and move to El Paso. All he needed was a week and Buck to help drive. Go down there, tell Christopher he can hate you, but he will be doing it in LA, and tell the Devil...er Diaz parents if they don't butt out, you will cut them completely out of your life. Threaten restraining orders if you have to.

We all know Buck is a mess but Eddie is probably worse. The man has blown his life up how many times in the past two seasons? He did so because he lacks impulse control. He acts without thinking. He immediately goes to the most ridiculous course of action possible.

Eddie is just as, and I say MORE, messed up than Buck. He just hides it.

Didn't Eddie go to our favorite golden retriever disaster for advice and a pep talk? Exactly. Advice? From Buck?

B- That is huge. Why? Eddie Diaz, war hero and guy who has his shit together, is his totally messed up, out of order, confused, all over the place self in front of Buck. No one else in the 118 has a clue how mess that man's life is. But he doesn't hide it from Buck. He wouldn't even let Shannon see him break, but he doesn't hide from Buck that he is already broken.

C- Food and couches. Eddie and Buck. Even I can't deny it now.

D- It makes sense that Buck will not consciously admit he feels something for Eddie. Why? Everyone he has loved has left. I know this is crazy, but it's Buck, so his logic is illogical. If he doesn't love Eddie, Eddie will not stay gone. He won't lose him.

E- Buck admitted to having feelings for Eddie without knowing he admitted it. Freudian slips are real, yall. "I don't have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for and I don't have to have feelings for everyone I sleep with."

That idiot didn't even realize he was saying he has had feelings for someone but didn't act on them, but will jump into situationships with people without feeling anything for them. That second part is all his damn relationships on the show! Abby was just after he lost Devon. Allie was convenient and met during a tense moment and after just meeting Eddie. Taylor was after Eddie was shot. Tommy was after Eddie began dating Marisol AND Eddie began focusing on Tommy.

F- Buck telling Eddie he has to stay could have two reasons. Buck wants Eddie to be with his son. Buck also needs time to make sure he doesn't have feelings for Eddie.

G- You think this is a coincidence?

Eddie is bookended by his son and Buck who look similar. Buck and Christopher happen to be wearing almost identical colors? Look at the lighting. Eddie is in a darkened environment but Buck is surrounded by light and his background is home. It was like that every time in this episode. Eddie is calling his light and his home. But Eddie is not well.

H- Which leads me to this one. Mentally stable people do not quit their jobs without having another, buy a dump without seeing it in person, sink all their money into that dump, sell their truck to buy a used heap (isn't that the check engine flashing?) and drive for Uber. They also don't buy PS5s when they are broke to try to buy their child's love when they could have simply told Mommy and Daddy to get out of their house and their child to go be mad in his room. Edmundo Diaz is having a mental crisis and has been for a long time. I believe Buck subconsciously knows but he doesn't want to admit it. In his eyes Eddie is perfect and he won't let anything taint that image, BUT he will do everything in his power to keep that man happy and help him get better.

I- You know? Like you do when you love someone. What have the 118 said about love? Now look at these two. Seeing someone at their worst and loving them anyway? It means stepping into their mess?

Hmm. 🤔

J- It's only platonic because Buck did not know he was bi and Eddie thinks he is straight. They just didn't know. That happens. It isn't always repression or lying. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know.

But let's see if Minear is setting the stage for Buddie or, the only other option, the biggest queerbaiting in the history of television.

[alpaca-clouds]

Let Us Talk About Insects For Once

I could swear I have talked on this before, but I cannot find it (tumblr search is still busted) and also, it is something important, that sadly a lot of the big science communicators have communicated wrongly - mainly due to trying people to care about it.

You probably have heard this phrase before: Save the bees!

And the image this conjured up for you is this one:

The kinda adorable, fluffy little honey bee, who make nice and tasty honey for us, are being kept all around, and also have a very weird movie about interspecies romance dedicated to them, that communicates this issue wrong once more.

Well, what if I told you, that a) honey bees are just a very tiny minority of the insects responsible for polinating plants in the world, and b) are actually doing right fine, given that they are somewhat domesticated and people make money with them. So yeah, to the shock of absolutely no-one the Bee Movie is horrid pro-honey-bee propaganda.

Instead the animals mainly responsible for polinating our plants are other species of bees - those actually endangered often - who live often more solitarily and do not produce honey either at all or in as high quantities as the honey bee does. Butterflies, moths, wasps, flies, beetles and wasps instead are doing a whole lot of polination work, too.

And yeah, I get that the flies - such as the humble hoverfly - are not as cute or sexy, as the honey bee is, but... we kinda need them fort his whole pollination shit. I mean, by as much propaganda as the Bee Movie it, it was right about one thing: While it would absolutely not affect anyone if all honey bees went on a worldwide strike (good labor coordination though!), if we run out of polinators we might be a bit fucked.

So, honor the beetle and the humble hover fly.

Of course polination is not the only thing that we need insects for.

Yes, I am well aware that most time humans think of insects mostly as annoying pests, but let's be honest: We kinda know that they are somewhat important for the eco-system.

Other jobs that insects take over in the eco-system include, but are not limited to:

Removing waste (such as feces and dead animals)

Providing a food source for all sorts of small critters

Help plants filter water

Loosen the ground by digging through it and making it hence better suited to grow plants

Control one another and other animals, who without them would turn into a danger for humans and/or the eco-system

And that is without helpful jobs insects might actually take over for humans - especially in agrarculture, like hunting other pests or breaking down weeds.

So, you might notice: Even the stupid, digusting kinds of insects are kinda important and fulfill their own specific place in the eco system.

And as anyone who so much as looked at a car in the year 2000 vs today might have noticed... insects are kinda in trouble. Because in the year 2000 your typical car windshield looked like this:

Which is not what it tends to look like today. And while this is anecdote and not scientific data, we of course also have studies that confirm this subjective information.

Scientists have measured the biomass of insects in the environment with certain measures and have found results worthy of concern. Over here in Germany the flying insect biomass has decreased by 75% between 1989 and 2016. Sweden found the same 75% for a similar timeframe. The ground based insects looked better, though their biomass is harder to measure. Depending on the study their biomass has decreased between 18 and 34% over the last 30 years.

An US study found that the overall biomass has decreased by about 34% in the US, the abundance of insects (basically how densely they live and how likely it is for you to encounter insects) however by 61%. And mind you, the same study noticed that while this is an issue the abundance of certain insects - ones that in their current population might become a problem for either humans or the environment - increased.

Several studies also have found that while these decreases were observed, a similar decrease was observed in some species feeding on certain insects - especially birds and certain rodents.

Which lets me speak about the origins of this issue. Why are the insects dying?

I am guessing that both solarpunks and guerilla gardeners might be most familiar with the issue of the lawn and the impervious surfaces.

To make it short: A lot of insects rely either on earth to dig in, or on those plants to polinate - because it is an important food source. They might also rely on certain forms of biological waste (like dead animals and animal feces). And basiclly in a lot of areas we removed all of this. We replaced natural flowers with well maintained lawn, and compacted the ground, if not sealed it all together with concrete. We also remove those dead animals and the animal poo from nature, because it bothers us. And with that we take a lot of insects important elements to live on.

Which means that, yes, ideally a garden should look a lot more like the one beneath than what the HOA (a thing that pretty much is non-existent outside the US) wants you to have.

But again, this is not where it ends. We need more ground that is not sealed and not compacted. We need ground that insects can live and borrow in. Just as we need some animal carcasses to just rot where the animal died - and some animal poo to stink up some areas were humans might live. I am sorry, but there it is.

And yes, I hear you screaming. "But what about the poison?!" And yes, that is also another issue, that definitely is impacting the biomass - though the abundance is more influenced by the last three points.

Basically, yes, a lot of the stuff that farmers use to fight off either weeds or pests are obviously also killing the insects that we technically would love to survive. Because poison tends to not differentiate.

And then there is of course the other issue: Invasive species and climate change.

Germans might be well aware of these fuckers, that kinda look like ladybirds (no, but really, why are they called ladybirds and not ladybugs?) but are not. Or are, but not the right one. Basically they are species of ladybirds that are from other places on the world and somehow ended up over here, where for a variety of reasons they kinda end up killing the local ladybirds. Partly by competing for food sources, partly by being poisonous, and so on.

And of course they are not the only invasive insect species. In fact, the most invasive species tend to be insects and arachnids. And the reason for them living here is two fold.

While most of the time insects and arachnids tend to not be rewilded in places were they are not supposed to be, they do at times hitch rides on humans who travel the world - or in the luggage of said humans.

At times some of those species just happen to do the travelling on their own. For example, I spent the last two years collecting a couple of spiders of the Nosferatu spider species, that just managed to make their way from Southern Europe up here to Germany on their own.

And the reason they manage to survive is obviously climate change. It has gotten too warm and a lot of insects that would not survive here before now are capable of doing so.

And of course some insects that are natural in these parts, can no longer survive because it is too hot for them.

Those issues are obviously not just a thing in Germany. They are a problem basically everywhere.

Which reminds me of one thing. Don't get me wrong. There is some insects that are generally not really beneficial outside of feeding birds maybe. Mosquitos are one of those, which is why there are researchers arguing for erradicating them. Not becuase their bites are annoying, but because they get us - and some animals - all sorts of sicknesses. (Even though we obviously know that their existence once saved earth, lol)

But yeah, insects dying is a problem. And we should do something about it. Not just the sexy honey bee, but also some annoying flies and stuff.

And because y'all managed to read all of this so far, you get a picture of a pretty butterfly.

[luluu2424]

I don't like Isha because she feels more like a plot device than a character

I'm never going to beat the "I Hate Isha" allegations. Oh, well.

I do mean what I said when I say she feels like a weird last minute writing decision. Like, it's weird that the characters didn't talk about her and her Elfen Lied shock value death right? Also, yes I'm comparing Arcane season 2 to Elfen Lied, that's what season 2 deserves.

those of you lucky enough to have never seen Elfen Lied probably want some context. Fare. Content Warning: Elfen Lied has graphic Violence and Sexual violent situations, don't look into it unless you want to ruin your day. It's an Anime/Manga series about Lucy, a woman with horns and telekinetic powers that also has Jekyll n Hyde split personalities. She's believed to be the next step in evolution and there's a big government conspiracy to find her. There's also a lot of underage nudity and over-the-top violence. Yeah... It also allegedly inspired Stranger things. Go figure.

One thing the story was infamous for was introducing super cute big eyed characters that they barely develop, just kill them off violently(the puppy, number 3, Kisaragi, Mariko and her clones, Kanae, and Aiko) and then use their deaths as motivation for other characters(usually Lucy.) Isha definitely had more character development than the average Elfen Lied character, but it still shouldn't be this easy to make the comparison.

With all that in mind it's such a weird writing choice that only Jinx is mourning her/actually acknowledging her death. You're telling me that we don't get to see Sevika, the woman who saved Isha's life once, mourning her. Or Vi, the woman who spent several days with Isha at the commune, and the fact that her life was put in danger was the reason she went against Caitlyn. Or Caitlyn doesn't have anything to say about the fact her friend Jayce's decision to shoot a hole in Viktor's chest was what indirectly lead to Isha's death.

She also about half the time feels like one big plot device to get the characters from Point A to B. "We need Jinx to mellow out for a bit? Let's give her kid to befriend. Don't you know randomly befriending kids cures mental illnesses." "We need a reason for Vi and Cait to not kill Jinx long enough for Sevika to finish the grey plan? Let's have Isha human shield herself for Jinx. It will completely remove any likeablity Cait had left after she gassed Zaun and pressured Vi into becoming an Enforcer, but whatever." Also, it's interesting that Isha human shielding herself for Jinx didn't get brought up more. If I was Vi or Cait, I'd question if Jinx put her up to that as a distraction so Sevika could redirect the grey.

Finally, I want to talk about Isha's muteness. Now I kinda hate how ableist some people can be when talking about her disability. Like, I view Isha as a plot device because the writers wrote her that way. Some bigots online view her as a plot device just because she's mute. As if you can't write compelling mute characters. That being said, the show's choice to kill her and every other disabled character off except Princess Warcriminal is... not great. I genuinely worry about how the writers feel about disabled characters. "Was Isha just written in as a tool for Jinx to vent her feelings?" People use the fact that she's mute to say things like that, and their kinda not wrong, but also, Isha almost never even signs back against Jinx either. She'd still just be Jinx's fangirl cosplayer even if she could talk.

By the way, I'm not disabled myself. If you are and had a problem with the way I talked about that aspect of Isha, your more than free to call me out on it in the comments. God knows more people should've done that in the critique videos I've watched.

[rarepairdumpster]

Canon Divergence Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: M C/W: Zaun Spy Viktor, Time Lapse, Secret Relationship, Possessive, Happy Ending, Jinx gets an extra father figure

Viktor making copies of all of Jayce's research regarding hextech and bringing them to Silco.

Seducing Jayce to get more information and Silco understanding but having possessive sex whenever Viktor is home

Silco is careful not to leave any permanent marks that might blow Viktor's schemes.

He has Viktor wear a collar when he's out in the undercity.

It has Silco's initial on it.

Viktor totally got weepy with joy when Silco presented it to him.

"I want everyone to be aware that any finger laid on you will be cut off by me."

He says it as he carefully shifts Viktor's hair and buckles it into place.

And then he adds : "You may remove it and conceal it before crossing the bridge to Piltover"

Viktor definitely wishes he didn't have to.

He wants the reminder that he belongs to Silco around his neck 24/7.

Its not an extravagant collar. But its a thick band of expensive leather with a strong buckle.

The leather has a reddish hue.

Viktor thinking he's making progress with swaying Jayce to the undercity's cause, and then Jayce proving otherwise when he doesn't make the announcement on progress day.

Viktor is tempted to take everything they designed and fuck off back to the undercity. But he knows he wouldn't get far

Silco's face when he realizes Viktor is sick though.

He goes to Singed like he did with Jinx and asks him to fix Viktor and that's how he gets his leg all hexy.

Viktor gets to avoid having an existential breakdown because Skye doesn't die because of him.

Silco getting a bit turned on because now Viktor can pick him up.

Silco running his fingers all over Viktor's "new" leg, marvelling at how it shimmers (heh) under his touch

Viktor's allegiance being revealed when Viktor is absolutely prepared for the explosion. And when Silco steps in to the smouldering council room, he holds his hand out and Viktor goes to him without hesitating.

"But Viktor, we're partners"

"No, Jayce, you were useful."

Heimerdinger being equally upset as Jayce

"Singed sends his regards"

Jinx and Silco's men moving through the building, armed with tech Viktor designed, taking out enforcers and occupying the building.

Heimerdinger trying the change takes time spiel again when Viktor's allegiance is revealed.

And Viktor snapping back "no, change takes effort"

Silco taking over the prison and releasing hundreds of rebels, and undercity citizens arrested unjustly.  And imprisoning Heimerdinger et al

Some of the rebels were people he'd fought with when Vander stabbed him in the back -- who'd been just as horrified and hurt as Silco had been.

Silco employs a bunch of them as guards, etc, and helps gets the others settled.

Silco finally asking Viktor to marry him

Silco and Viktor getting married on the steps of the academy, without which they wouldn't have accomplished Silco's dream

For once, Silco isn't wearing his red coat. He's wearing ivory with gold detailing. It brings out the bits of gold in his bad eye. And he's weirdly nervous as he waits for Viktor

He fidgets while he waits, and Jinx -- his best girl -- has no qualms with taking the piss out of him.

Viktor wears the same colour as Silco, but Silco thinks Viktor wears it better

Silco and Viktor spending their wedding night in the Dean's quarters, which Viktor has taken over.

His hex leg allowing Viktor to ride Silco without fear of pain

Silco watching him enjoy himself, encouraging him with the squeeze and rub of his hands over his thighs and hips and ass.

Viktor is still wearing what was under his wedding suit while riding Silco.

Silco and Viktor discussing whether they'll adopt a child together and give Jinx a sibling

They also ask Jinx for her input because they don't want her feeling excluded

It helps that Viktor has always doted on her from the moment they met. She talks to him about her inventions

Jinx getting to be the big sister that will never leave

Sevika saying "She's like their daughter" to Vi

Silco is full of encouragement and will always listen re: her experiments, but Viktor understands the science in a way that Silco doesn't.

The kid they adopt is a little younger than Powder was, but a lot less emotionally damaged.

The little one looking at them from behind a bin, gasping, and exclaiming "YOU'RE SICKO AND VICKER"

and Jinx starts laughing.

"Oh that's gonna be a thing"

"It will not"

"It will~~~~"

Viktor trying to hide his smile as Silco's eye twitches

Silco and Viktor have basically become undercity heroes

Arch + Woods

[brittle-doughie]

Guess who's back~~

After I snooped around your account once again and I finally got the Shadow Milk outfit, I decided to share more of my ideas

Today's victim: Y/N Cookie (CRK)

What we know about them: A Cookie who catches everyone's attention and has a bright soul who rules the Kingdom and can be said to be a Cookie who was not created by the witches

My idea:

It is common knowledge that the DE is making the Ultimate Cookie to have enough power for their plan, along with the fact that they want Y/N for themselves, but that's a detail

The Ultimate Cookie is a being powerful enough that when Wind Archer attacks the stove where they are imprisoned he calls all the elementals

Now let's go to another part, MyCookie, they are a Cookie who was found by the Gingerbrave gang and who was delivered to the kingdom and who resides in the Kingdom with his two guardians Cream Puff Cookie and Y/N Cookie (Here I am putting MyCookie and Y/N Cookie as two different beings)

Along with the theory that MyCookie and Ultimate Cookie can be the opposite of each other or kind of like brothers

Now let's get to my idea, what if MyCookie and Ultimate Cookie are kind of 'children' of Y/N Cookie?

Type Y/N Cookie and as a perfect being along with a detail, they were not created by a witch and are not the children of another Cookie, they just appeared one day and that's it, but this happens because they were created by EathBreed, the land as time went by that the witches created Cookies she gradually took the essence that came out of them and after a certain amount they created a Cookie (Y/N), making them have the essence of all the witches at the same time

Y/N because of this fact, because they were not created by a witch maybe they have the same level of power as them, but we know that it did not work, until she came up with plan B

Making a Cookie that has the same essence as them, of course it would not be easy if it were not for a small detail, during the Pure Vanilla castle while they and PV were trapped the COD managed to get a part of Y/N and that they could mix with the Ultimate Cookie dough

But there was a catch, because of having so many essences in one place it was almost impossible to make hundreds of Cookies, because their bodies would not be adapted (Unlike Y/N, who was being built at the same time that the witches created their Cookies) so the Cookie furnaces were almost useless because they all could not withstand the essences

Until in a furnace there were two survivors, one of them was already crunchy and hard and had the same amount of power as Y/N while the other was still cooked and soft and did not seem to have any power like the other (You must already know who I'm talking about, right?)

Seeing that they had one that was in better condition, DE ordered to throw the cooked one, which did not show that it would survive any longer, and later it would be found by the gang and would be taken to the Kingdom where it would be taken care of by Cream Puff and would have a connection with Y/N Cookie, his biological father/mother

Tada~~ What did you think?

-Just a Person

It’s interesting, but I got a little lost there at the end with the wording and backstory.

Y/N Cookie in this case was created by the earth, so they have a lot going around in their dough. A piece was taken during the Timeless Kingdom arc and was used to create equal adversaries, but one failed and the other succeeded.

The failed one is now being raised in the kingdom while the success is sent the laboratory.

[thursdaysyme]

Wait do you have study tips… I’m going into my senior year as a uni-transfer and it’s sooo exhausting I’m struggling to focus + getting scared the closer I get to the finish line… womp womp

Oof, that is so real. Let me see if anything in my study roster can help. First, everyone is different and learns differently, so you should study by catering to your learning style, such as hands-on, auditory, etc. But these are some main things I've learned that can be adapted for and are generally great for most everyone.

Buckle up your seatbelts and grab a beverage; this is long.

Timers

Timers are so important! My favorite method was the Pomodoro Method, which was 25 minutes of work and a 5-minute break. You repeat that four times, then take a 15-30 minute break.

It helps to have an end goal, and more importantly, it allows your breaks to be calm because you don't have to worry about getting lost in your break and losing time. Because the timer is set!

However, I suggest not getting on your phone during this break. My best options that work for me are:

Reading a book

Getting a snack

Laying outside and lamenting of the world's woes to the trees

Having a pen and paper to do doodles

Crying

Finding someone in my house to talk to/seeing what others are up to

Falling onto the couch to lament my woes to the dog

Breathing exercises

Getting on your phone speeds up time and keeps your brain in a different mode; it makes it harder to get off and get back on. Ruins the whole study set up you have.

Timers are my best friend because I would stress over breaks, that I would get distracted, or I would spend my entire break looking at the clock to make sure it wasn't too long. I also had a great time with the 25/5 method because it was just long enough but also bite sized so I didn't feel overwhelmed.

Note Cards

Note cards are your friend! Use so many note cards. Scare people with your note card usage.

Note cards are helpful for a few reasons.

Writing. Physically writing things down engage more of your brain, you're more likely to remember!

Personal study. This can be so versatile for when and where you look over terms or ideas.

Friend Study. I loved going over flashcards myself until I felt pretty confident and then having someone go over them with me. The added human connection helps you enjoy your time more and not isolate, as well as not flippling them over too soon. It makes you realize maybe you didn't have them as memorized as you thought.

Versitility of note cards is great, you know you can just write all kinds of stuff and just paste them to the wall? 10/10, love to do it. This is a huge memorization thing, but paste it where you see it!

Write It On The Wall

On pasting note cards everywhere, if you are specifically memorizing passages of literature or conceptual ideas, write it down on your mirror. I had to memorize a poem and I pasted it on my mirror and had to say it before I got in the shower and after I brushed my teeth. You see it all the time, but add it into your routine of that place. If you put it on your door frame, say it before you leave the room/house. This is an underrated study habit that I use all the time, even outside of school.

Food: You Have Got to Eat!

Eat! Eat breakfast! Have a snack in between Breakfast and Lunch! Eat a full lunch! Have two more snacks before Dinner! Have a good Dinner! Eating is V i t a l.

Also knowing how your body reacts to foods. People are now calling this intuitive eating, but knowing what fuels your body is important. For example, I didn't ever drink coffee in the morning, I saved it for after lunch. I didn't know why then, but drinking coffee actually relaxed me; it also settles my stomach. So I waited until after lunch to settle my stomach and have a little "you made it to lunch!" treat. I would instead drink black tea in the morning and then green tea with a snack.

The moral of that story is that beverages are very important. Lots of water too! I suggest something with a straw because you can just keep it on the table and I would accidentally drink all 40oz without realizing simply because I was playing with the straw and was drinking at the same time.

Don't just eat sugar. I know everyone hates to hear it, but it does actually affect your mood and study ability. Sugar is for later, have it, eat it, love it, but not in the morning and not a lot. There are a few foods I would suggest for brain boosting:

Berries

Cheese (i fucking love cheese sticks bro they are 876754/10)

Eggs

Greek Yogurt (filling and great for your gut)

Smoothies with leafy greens (my mother was the Queen of smoothies at 7am every day that I used to get too and that shit helped so much in the morning I swear)

Vegtables! Everyone hates on them, but throw some seasoning, get a dip, and pair it with some meat. Make your own tiny charcuterie board if you need. Cook them, roast them, boil them. I don't care; just eat your veggies.

People often forgo body health when thinking of studying, but making sure your body is fueled and given proper nutrients is going to help you way more than any hyperspecific perfect study tip from some middle-aged so-called researcher in Winsconson. Just so you know, people can slip in studies that have no meaning and are a joke. Cross-check even your "scientific journals".

Place

For the love of god, do not do all of your work on your bed. Your bed is for breaks and sleeping, not studying. Your brain needs to differentiate place. Do it on your desk, your kitchen table, your floor, for all I care. Get out of your bed. Brush your hair and move. If it's a nice day, go outside. Don't you have an outside table? Get a blanket; picnic time.

If you are a library person, go to the library. If you aren't, stay at home. I personally did some of my best work in a busy tea shop on my campus because I was used to working with noise and people. The library is too quiet and still for me. Don't let people tell you the library is the only choice if you don't like it. Do it in your home, the public park, a coffee shop, or the Student Union during lunch hour if you have it. Or go to the library if that's best for you. Try different places! Mix it up! Go to all of them! Go to multiple places in one day! This is your life study at the dog park with no dog if you just wanna see some dogs, studying is not for the weak.

Treat studying as important as Don Quixote took Knighthood. You may look crazy, but you are free. More importantly, your brain is learning.

Hands-On Learning: It's Not Just For Preschool

I had this one class where our exams consisted of multiple choice and the dreaded essay. The professor would give us three different essay prompts and not tell us which one the exam would be on. She would only give us a paper that had a basic history essay outline on it. It was like russian roulette but more stressful. A full five page essay no notes, no nothing, just the ol' brain.

So what I did is I filled out every essay prompt according to the outline I knew we would have, printed it out, and spoke them all aloud while walking around the kitchen for hours. I would do a full: "Introduction, hook: the Egyptians believed the best thing you could do in your life was die".

Just writing and reading is not enough or, like, interesting. Make songs and do a dance routine while your own voice reads off memorization topics. (I have done a few voice notes, don't knock it till you try it). Make it fun and different when you can, it helps your interest, your ability to focus, and memorization. Don't think studying is just typing and reading it over on a screen. Sure, type out notes, but print them and walk around with them. Annotate your own notes. Make a seek and find with your terms and definitions. Create joy where you can; you'll have more fun and remember more. You are grown in college, take yourself on a field trip. It's your life. Find professors and ask them random questions, grill them, they love it just trust.

Reading: Annotation and Other Gifts Straight From God Himself

Annotation is a life saver, a game changer, literally have not once looked back a day in my life after annotating.

I've annotated many different ways, but I've found that for school, the best way to focus on speed and efficiency is with a pen and one singular highlighter. If you struggle with attention or distraction, I do not want to see you with an array of five highlighters for different topics. You, I, and Mary Mother of Jesus, know good and well you are going to get distracted with the colors and forget what you were doing and focus more on color coding than actually reading.

If it is a shorter article, first speed read the whole thing before even thinking of using stationary. And I mean speed read, finish it, and have no confidence on who, what, when, where, or why. You just need to become vaguely familiar. Then the second time you actually read it, and if it's a long text (40+ pages), just start with this, hold your pen while reading.

Circle words you don't know and immediately look up definition, write it down, and continue. Underline and arrow what you think are defining parts of the text. On the side, make sure to write the topic. If a character is getting murdered, write murder scene on the side. If a new theory is being discussed, write piaget - development on the side. You are annotating to look back too, not just write down. Think of your poor future self. What would they think if you just wrote down "wow" on the side? Wow what?

Vagueness is impractical. Be blunt and clear.

Use a highlighter to get those real important bits. Such as, if there is a sentence that is obviously some type of thesis or object statement, highlight it. Think about you going in blind in two weeks looking it over, and seeing highlight of a sentence that makes no sense without context. Ridiculous. Highlight things that give context, not things that need it. Those other fun sentences are for underlining with a pen.

If you are reading a chapter book for school, write a quick summary at the end of each chapter. And, if you really want to do something with some umph, write two to three questions you have over the chapter. Even if you don't really have any. Find some, make something up. The act of trying to think critically about a text allows you to remember it more. Make discussion questions if anything, keep them open ended if you want, create something to talk about. If you can do that, you understand it. Don't let me see you pulling a "why was the mom mad?" when it was clearly stated her son trashed the house. Be real. Write something interesting or not at all. Don't waste your time with that.

Organization

It doesn't really matter how you do this, it's different for every person ever on the face of the earth. But try and make yourself organized. Keep all your papers. Have a folder for each class. Keep a binder. Don't throw away things until the semester is over even if you don't think you need it, if the professor/teacher went to the trouble of printing it, keep it.

Note Taking

This is also a big one. Honestly, if you can, handwrite it. I've done typed notes, and it doesn't hit like handwritten notes. The cornell method is great.

A big one for me is if the professor provides PPTs before the lesson, print them out. Use the ppts to write your notes on. Why write the power point slide bullet points when that's already provided? You want to write down what the professor is saying. People always told me that but I had a hard time doing that without the context of the slides. So, I would print the slides out and write on them. If I didn't have them or the professor posted after, I would section my notes by labeling the slide number at the top. Works like a charm.

Colored notes. My favorite is a multicolored pen. One pen, four colors. Amazing work in pen creation. A big help for discussion-based classes is keeping color codes on notes by:

Teacher Said

Classmate Said

I said

Helps a ton. It feels silly at first, but this is one of those just wait till later tips that needs to marinate. Do it consistently, make it a habit, and it'll work wonders.

Conclusion

That's what I can think of off the top of my head, and my go to study things. I am just outing myself as a huge nerd and perfectionist with this essay of an answer.

I think always remembering why you are doing something is helpful. Look at your end goal. Sometimes, mine isn't anything but "I wanna be better than everyone else," and that's valid (I say about myself). But don't think you have to have some grand reason, but have one that is important to you specifically. Do you just want to have a degree? Perfect reason. Do you just want to learn about something? Perfect. Are you proving a point of some kind? Amazing. If you focus on the here and now, it will get overwhelming. Sometimes you gotta get out of your now bubble and stretch out. Give yourself perspective.

I hope at least one of these tips can help!