#And He Still Loves Her So Much | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aheckinmess · 4 months ago

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The Straw [Toshinori] (Angst)

(One-shot 24/? in a collection of My Hero Academia one-shots posted regularly on Saturdays - and sometimes Sundays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Toshinori Yagi, All Might, Smol Might, Small Might, Original Female Character(s), Ichijiku Aoki, Protective Toshinori, Protective All Might, All Might-centric, Young Toshinori Yagi, Angst, Just a Taste of Hurt/Comfort for Flavor, OC Gets Angry, One Might Even Say Furious, No Actual Trees Were Harmed in the Making of This Prompt, If Anyone Finds That Tennis Ball Please Let Me Know, If You're Angry and You Know It Stomp Your Feet, Toshinori Deserves the World, He's Seen So Much of Ichijiku's Shit, And He Still Loves Her So Much

Word Count: 2,375 words

Summary: Ichijiku has shared almost every part of herself with Toshinori. Almost every part, except her rage. So, when her grandmother calls with news that Ichi's mother is missing, she gets to see just how much Toshinori is willing to put up with.

Author's Note: Not gonna lie, I wrote this prompt because I read a story that made me livid and I needed to feel validated for how much anger I was feeling.

Content Warning: Strong, vulgar language

Ichijiku (Tigress)

Toshinori knows almost every part of me. Strong arms brace me when my knees are too weak to stand. Weathered hands soothe me when I laugh so hard my sides cramp. Even when I’m ranting and irritable, he listens to me vent about injustices I face.

He sees the good, the bad, and the ugliest parts of me and still holds on tight.

I hold onto that promise when I make my bi-weekly phone call to my mother to check in. It’s always a coin flip if a phone call home will end in drama, depression, or deceit. Needless to say, I don’t have high hopes as the dial tone rings in my ear.

“Ichijiku?” Grandma’s voice is the first to come over the phone.

Which wouldn’t be odd except my mom always answers her phone, and Grandma sounds out of breath. Is she okay? Is one of them in the hospital? My chest hurts as various scenarios play through the projector of my mind.

“Grandma?” I hop onto the kitchen counter where I have the perfect view of Toshinori through the cracked door of the study. The soft curve of his lips into a smile dampens the anxiety clawing at my heart. “Is Mommy there?”

“Your mother,” She begins, and I know there’s trouble. “Left her phone here and has not been seen or heard from since this morning!”

Bubbling irritation replaces sheer panic in seconds. This isn’t new for my mother, and immediately I jump back off the counter to find something to clean. Focusing my attention on something else helps distract me from my emotions in order to first find my mother. Even from a country away, I’m already strategizing.

“Do you know where she might have gone? Like, did anyone see a car pick her up or did she just sneak out?” I question, chewing at my lip as I turn on the water and start dishes. “Has she been acting strange this week?”

“She’s been doing what she normally does and staying cooped up in her room all day on her phone. But it must have been this morning because I went to check on her at about eight and she was in bed.” Grandma huffs. “Ami’s out there driving to see if she can find her on the trail, but you know I can’t go anywhere because I can’t leave Grandpa here while he’s sick.”

“I know, Grandma. I’ll see what I can do.” I tell her, hearing a beep on the other line. The number is unknown, but my mother has been known to call me and tell on herself. “Hang on, I think she might be calling me from a different phone. I’m going to see who this is.”

“Alright, bye.”

I swipe on the number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby, how are you doing?” Even over the phone, my mom doesn’t hide the dull monotone she speaks with. She’s learned if she sounds depressed enough, people will give her the attention she so desperately craves.

“Hey, Mommy, what are you up to?” I ask, pretending like I know nothing while I put her on speaker so I can text my aunt after drying my hands. On the phone with Mom now. Will let you know if she tells me where she is.

“Oh, I’m just walking. Trying to get out of the house.” She sighs. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just washing some dishes while Toshi reads in the study.” I tell her. “You walking on the trail? Is the weather nice?”

“Yeah, I’m over here near the boat ramp…just watching the boats.” Every exhale she makes sends static through the phone. “How are you and Tosh…Toshi…nomi? Ah, I can’t say his name.”

“Toshinori is good.” I correct her. Said she’s at the boat ramp watching the boats. “Is the water up today? Does it look rough?”

Thank you, pumpkin. Headed that way.

“Eh…it kinda looks like it might be up a little bit.” She pauses. “You remember when your daddy used to take us down here all the time?”

The first kindling of anger smokes at the mention of my father. You dare bring him up when you’re out there walking and trying to spread your legs for someone else? Tiger snarls as I dry my hands once more and begin pacing, needing the movement to calm me down.

“Yes, I remember. We used to go to the sandbar all the time, too.”

“Yeah…I miss him.” Her voice sounds strangled; I feel sympathy but it’s drowned in betrayal and rage. He worked so hard for you. He did everything for you. We both did. And all you did was throw it back in our face and take advantage of us. “I miss your daddy, baby.”

The smoke of my rage bursts into flames, growing with every pass down the hallway.

“I miss him too, Mommy.” There’s a bite in my tone, but I swallow the rest of it back. I don’t, however, swallow all of the sass. “Guess that’s why you’re out looking for another man now, huh?”

“No, I am not!” She says indignantly. “I just wanted the fresh air. Is there something wrong with fresh air?”

“No, there’s not.” I concede. “But did you tell Grandma you were going?”

“No, I didn’t tell her. I’m a grown ass adult, thank you very much! I’m not a child, Ichijiku Aoki.” She snaps.

“An adult doesn’t leave without telling anyone where they're going, Mom.” I say calmly. “Especially when you’ve been known to leave and get in other peoples’ cars.”

“Your grandma doesn’t need to know where I am all the fucking time!” The tantrum is tangible in her tone. I feel it through the receiver and the flames only grow brighter. My limbs start burning, vibrating with the need to sling my phone straight across the room. With the need to break something. “I can take care of myself!”

I found her, pumpkin.

“But you’ve proven you can’t, Mom.” My jaw clenches taut as I force gulp after gulp of air down into my lungs. “Grandma and Grandpa are older and need help doing things, especially since Grandpa’s sick. And you’re the only one there to help them. You left them there alone. You could have just told them where you were going and gone for a walk. No one would be upset at you for that. We only get upset when you disappear because we don’t know where you are or if you’re safe.”

“Whatever.” She grouses, the static punching through the speaker as her breaths get sharper. There’s a pause and I hear Aunt Ami’s voice distantly in the speaker, to which my mom answers. “I’m not doing anything! I’m just walking!”

“You go with Aunt Ami.” I say, sounding serene and cool when I feel everything but. “I’ll check in with you later while I finish dishes. I love you, Mommy.”

“Yeah, I love you too…I’ll talk with you later, darlin’.” She says.

When the line disconnects, bittersweet memories flood me until even Endeavor’s flames would look pitiful compared to the all-consuming inferno dripping through my veins with every breath. Memories of my dad telling me how proud he was that I’d been accepted into college, followed swiftly by my mother going missing the day before I was supposed to leave. Thoughts of my dad weak and feeble in the hospital tango with the reminder that my mother was sleeping in a hotel with my bastard uncle while my dad took his dying breaths.

I grab my security baseball bat and step into the backyard, shaking with bitterness and pain and heartache. A pile of used tires still lay strewn across the yard from one of Toshi’s workouts, not to mention the copious amounts of thick camphor and maple trees that are more than able to withstand my fury. That’ll fucking do.

Letting the door slam behind me, I toss the bat up, catch it by the handle and wail into the first thing I see. THWOMP! A maple tastes the initial brunt of my fury before I whip around into a tire. THWOMP! Sweat drips down my neck and time is but a child’s playtoy as the inferno reaches a fever pitch. Tiger and I meld together into one searing wildfire as we sink our teeth and claws into anything that crosses our path.

No thoughts. Only destruction. I snatch a dead limb from a camphor nearby. A tennis ball meets the toe of my shoe for but a fleeting moment before it finds a new home in the endless void. I claw at the dirt, relishing in the feeling of pressure beneath my nails. When my teeth find themselves unsatiated? I stuff the collar of my shirt in my mouth and bite hard, before I pick up the bat again.

THWOMP! THWOMP! THWOMP!

“Ichan?” Something stops the forward momentum of my weapon and I growl as I rip it back. A familiar hand touches my shoulder. “Hey, it’s–”

“IT’S NOT OKAY!” I roar, slinging my bat into the dirt and panting as I glare at him. “SHE THINKS SHE’S SO FUCKING CLEVER AND ALL SHE’S EVER DONE IS HURT ME!”

Toshinori knows almost every part of me.

But he’s never met my rage.

“I’M SO SICK OF IT!” I choke, breathing cold venom that numbs my body. “I’M SO SICK OF PUTTING EFFORT INTO HER WHEN SHE JUST PUTS ALL THE WORK ON ME! WHEN I’M THE ONLY ONE DOING ANYTHING! WHEN SHE ACTS LIKE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANY BETTER BUT SHE DOES!”

Toshinori stands and gawks. Aside from my vicious monologue, no words are exchanged as he remains silent. And I don’t really blame him.

I pick up my bat and swing at another tree.

“ALL THAT DAMN WORK THWACK AND ALL SHE CARES ABOUT IS ANOTHER MAN’S DICK! THWONK DOES SHE CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING MY DAD AND I DID FOR HER? NO! THWOMP SHE RODE SOME MAN’S COCK WHILE MY DAD WAS DYING!”

I don’t know how long Toshinori stands there to listen and watch as I lay waste to our backyard, but when I finally calm down, I drop the bat and thunk my head straight into his chest. My fingers entwine with his and I murmur one plea.

“Push against me, please.” I say, before squeezing his hands and shoving my weight against him.

It’s doubtful that he expends even a fraction of his strength, but I’m grateful that he still indulges me. He may barely have to flex a muscle, but my arms burn with the strain of resistance until I can push no more.

“Ichan…” He begins when I’ve finished, pausing to see if I still need my time. “What do you need from me?”

“I don’t know. I just want to break something.” I murmur; my fire still burns though its glowing light dims. “I’m just so angry at her. She’s allowed to want to be an adult and have her freedom, so I feel guilty for being so upset. But, while her brain processes differently from a neurotypical mind…she still knows what she’s doing. Always has. And I can’t help but wish she’d at least show a little remorse and take a little responsibility for her actions. My dad did everything for her…”

“Your emotions are valid. And you are wise to find a safe space to get rid of that energy.” Toshinori’s thumb rubs over my cheek. “Do you need to talk it out some more?” He asks, before his chest shakes with an almost chuckle. “Or do I need to get the sledgehammer?”

His humor breaks through my armor. A laugh escapes me, and I guide his large fingers to the sides of my head, urging him to massage my scalp. As he does, the rest of my tension melts, though the embers of my fury still glow.

“I love her, but it’s so hard to talk with her when she makes my life unlivable.” I breathe, leaning into his palm. “She went walking today and it was a whole fiasco…exhausting.”

“It sounds like it.” He agrees, planting a kiss on my sweaty forehead. “What was that whole ordeal about the hospital?”

“I told you how my dad died, right?” When he confirms, I continue. “While he was in the hospital, my mom would go walking…our sign that she was going to meet up with my uncle for sex. But one day she went when my dad was in the hospital, and my grandma went through her purse during one of those walks and found a letter to my uncle. It was talking about all the stuff she wanted to do to him, how much she loved him, etcetera.” I squeeze his hands again, a warning. “She was fucking around with my uncle while my dad was laying in a coma, dying…”

“Oh, Ichan,” He coos, running his fingers through my hair again. “That’s enough to fuel any man’s fury.”

“She called me today while she was walking so I was able to help my aunt track her down and get her, but today it just…” I trail off, unable to explain.

“There are some people like Sayuri and Endeavor who keep their anger simmering, quick to boil since that’s their default emotion.” He begins, before putting his hand under my chin. “But you and I are similar in a lot of ways, Ichan. Rage is not our default. Our default emotions are not warm emotions. Compassion and sorrow. A pot filled with ice cold water. Possible to boil, but over a much longer time. And because we withhold that rage, our anger is very cold and ruthless. We cover it up as long as we can until it boils over.”

He guides me inside and towards the bathroom, where a shower is calling my name. But he pauses me outside the doorway and looks right into my eyes.

“You’re allowed to be angry, Ichan. You grew up with people who thought you were harmless because you don’t show your rage as often…” He pulls me in his arms where my rage simmers out into passion, pulling a heavy sigh from my chest. “...but you are humble, not harmless.”

Want More Toshinori? Try: Atlas

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