#And Dipper smirking.

[tswwwit]

Does reincarnated Dipper ever go and work in medical? - as a doctor or nurse or pyschologist. I think that would be funny. I'm sure Bill would *looove* that.

He definitely could! Dipper does love helping people.

And it'd be delightfully frustrating for Dipper to try and navigate his chosen profession while hooking up with a guy who's into intestinal origami and mind-breaking. Bill might be knowledgeable, but he offers a lot of highly inadvisable advice.

[omnipotentgod607]

In honour of there now being less than half an hour on the countdown for the website (from The Book of Bill), here are the TMA avatars I think the Pines family (+Bill) would serve:

Bill: I think he’d either serve the Spiral or the Desolation. The reasoning behind the Spiral I feel is obvious; the guy craves chaos which is commonly associated with the Spiral. The Desolation on the other hand? He destroyed his home planet. He wants to destroy the norm. I feel like a desolation aviator that wishes to destroy/burn the status quo to the ground would be a really cool (if loose) concept which Bill fills nicely.

Dipper: The Eye or The Flesh. Again, the Eye is self-explanatory; Dipper craves knowledge and understanding of Gravity Falls and the general weirdness of the place. Honestly, I could see Dipper working at The Magnus Institute in future lmao (I may or may not be planning a fic series based on this concept - bit of shameless self promotion there lol). The Flesh is due to his dysmorphia, I guess. Again, a very loose alignment, but Dipper has been shown to struggle with his masculinity throughout the show. Is this transmasc coding intentional? Probably not. But it’s still there and I will die on the trans Dipper headcanoning hill.

Mabel: The Spiral or The Extinction. The Spiral just fits Mabel; like Bill, Mabel is the definition of chaos (yes, I know this is a very superficial reading of the Spiral - sue me. I dare you). The Extintion is more of a stretch in this case. It’s the fear of catastrophic change - towards the end of the show we see Mabel is scared that her world is coming to an end. Dipper is leaving. She’s being sent home to live with her parents and their struggling marriage. I feel this would make her a great candidate to either be an avatar or consumed by the extinction.

Stan: The Web or The Corruption. Ok, Stan was a difficult one so BOTH of these are pretty loose alignments. I chose the Web because of his gaslighting the twins about the strange happenings in Gravity Falls, but also because Stan is a schemer (albeit not always a brilliant one). The Corruption is even more of a loose alignment; correct me if I’m wrong, but the corruption has never dealt with monetary corruption, right? I feel like that’s a missed opportunity. But yeah, Stan is greedy. He likes money - not that that’s necessarily a bad thing, but you know.

Ford: The Eye or The Spiral. Same as Dipper, Ford wants to know all about Gravity Falls going so far as to keep the famous journals. Now the Spiral is because of his connection (situationship?) with Bill; this is another one where I feel he’d probably be consumed by the Spiral than an avatar due to his fear of loosing his mind - he could possible be consumed by the Web in this case as he’s shown to fear a loss of control. But meh. We don’t give a fuck about logistics here.

[lacedinweb22]

Valentine’s Day ❦︎ (smutty one-shot) ❦︎⋆˙⊹ ❦︎ ⋆˙⊹ Miguel O’Hara x Fem!reader

nsfw 18+ ୨୧

You come back from work, feet sore, back sore, in need of him.

First thing you notice are the flowers on the kitchen counter. A massive assortment of red roses, with a note sticking out. “Happy Valentine’s Day, mi princesa. You’re my valentine today and everyday,” your cheeks are warm. You put the note down, slowly taking your shoes off as you look around. “Forever” by The Little Dippers leaks out of your bedroom.

You walk down the hall, slowly opening the door.

There he is. Hair tousled from running a stressed hand through so many times, a snug white button up rolled up at his forearms, muscles on display, black slacks, and a black leather belt… perfect. He’s pouring moscato into the wine glasses on the dresser, he looks up at you calmly, the calm you so desperately needed after a day like today. His eyes soften as they lay on you.

“Baby,” you exhale, walking into him. “Hermosa,” he sits the moscato bottle down, leaning down into you, breathing in the smell of your hair. You dig your face into his chest. The smell of his cologne makes you weak. His hands are snug around your waist, holding you tightly against him. You look up at him, he leans down, your lips meet in the middle.

He strokes your hair, “I’m sorry you had to work today, but I’ll make it up to you,” he whispers before kissing you again. You nod.

You lean against the dresser, he hands you a glass. It’s your favorite moscato. He keeps one hand on your waist, still holding you, as he picks up his glass with the other hand. “Happy Valentine’s, Y/N,” he smiles, tapping his glass to yours. “Happy Valentine’s, Miguel.” His eyes are on yours as you sip. You put it down, then start to take off your coat. He notices and immediately goes behind you, helping you take it off.

“Think I’m gonna change,” you mutter, moving your hair to the front, as he helps you.

You start to unbutton your blouse, but stop when he drops to his knees, slowly unbuttoning your pants. You look down at him, hands in his hair. His eyes are now on your black lace panties, as he slowly pulls your pants down. His fingers trace underneath the thin cloth on your hips, fingers massaging your skin. You don’t feel the need to change anymore. He stands back up, looking at the black lace bra now exposed under your button-up. He smirks, fangs on display, then leans down into your neck, sucking gently. His hands wrap around the back of your thighs and he picks you up like you weigh nothing.

You make out, taste the moscato on his lips. He lays you on your bed, then crawls on top of you, now hovering over you, hips touching, his hard-on pressing into your underwear. You moan into his mouth, as his fingers grip your waist tightly.

“Need you,” you moan in between kisses. He kisses your neck, “I’m here, baby, you can have me,” he mutters lowly into your skin. You look down and unbuckle his belt; he watches you, brushing the hair out of your face.

Finally, he’s in just his boxer briefs, and you can see so much through the stressed cloth. “We have reservations at 7:00,” he whispers in between kisses. “We have time,” you whisper back. He moans in your mouth as you grab him from out of his boxers, and press him against your heat.

He kisses down your neck as you pull his hips into yours, trailing down to your shoulder, pulling your blouse to the side.

He enters slowly, only half of him in you. He bites your shoulder, moaning into your skin. “Missed you, Mig,” you moan, as he slowly inches in and out of you, letting you adjust. “Missed how big you are,” you whine.

He kisses you, then slowly enters, now fully, you both moan at the pressure. He thrusts in and out, kissing you hard.

It’s slow and passionate, and you feel every inch of him intensely. He groans into your ear, “Been thinking about you all day. You feel so good, chula.”

The music is still playing on the record player; he digs his face in your neck.

He slides one hand down to your heat, rubbing at your core. “Does that feel good for you, my girl? Like that?” he groans, which you bite your lip in response, suppressing your gasps.

Perfect pressure and perfect fullness begin to bring you to your end. You start to unravel; you wrap your legs around him, bringing him closer, deeper.

He sucks on your neck, then pulls away to whisper into your mouth, “Baby, I’m gonna—”

“I know,” you exhale, slowly finishing around him.

He throbs inside of you, filling you up. You bite his lip, moans filling the room.

*im drunk AF and I’m ending it here LOVE Y’ALL so much 💌 HAPPY VALENTINE’S 💋💋💋* -G

[angelyuji]

stan pines dating headcanons

18+ minors dni!!

cw // sexual content under the cut!

MY LOVE

he is sooo my man i need him so bad

very old fashioned

asked you out first not cuz he thinks he’s the hottest guy in the world. but because “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”

he told dipper and mabel he made that up first (he didn’t, he saw it on facebook) (they know he didn’t make it up, but they pretend they believe him)

“heya there, toots.” stan leans on your desk. you look at him, an eyebrow raised.

“hey, stan. need something?” you smile at him.

“yeah, you. me. date. whenever you’re free.” stan looks away, suddenly nervous.

“hmm, yeah, alright! i’m free tonight after work.” stan looks back at you, eyes wide in surprise, before collecting himself. he smiles.

“great, great, i’ll pick you up at 8, dollface.”

calls you pet names that were popular in the 70s/80s: dollface, sweetcheeks, baby, cutie, sugar

stan believes you deserve the world so he yk he’s treating you soooo well

he doesn’t think he deserves you, so he tries so so so hard to treat you well

he believes he’s fucked up every good thing in his life, so when you guys get together, he tries so hard to be a good partner to you

takes you out anywhere you want, even if its something he hates.

you tell him you want to see some movie in theaters, he’s gonna say no and be huffy cuz he’d rather stay home and save money. but the next day he’s gonna show up at your door with the tickets, rolling his eyes, telling you to get in the car

takes you with him to break laws and steal stuff with him

you’re a total nervous wreck but stan’s laughing and holding your hand and you know that everything’s gonna turn out alright.

he buys you clothes sometimes but he’s not up with fashion, so not usually.

any time he does, its usually because he took mabel shopping and he saw something that he thought you would like

more of a listener than a yapper like he’ll listen to you go on and on about something without stopping. you’re his personal podcast. he also loves when you watch his soap operas with him

hehehe im gonna fuck this old man so hard he’s gonna stop breaking traffic laws

sooo smooth and flirty, but he gets over obviously red in the face and its cute asf

he was kinda insecure about his body at first, but seeing how obsessed you are with him when you guys sleep together, he’s all like “heh, i still got it” and he smirks cuz he’s a little shit

likes to be on top, call him old-fashioned, but he likes looking down at you and seeing your face as he makes you feel good

he’s a man of routine, however you can convince him to do different positions or things in the bedroom because at the end of the day, you’re his everything

he goes slow, doesn’t go crazy and jackhammer into you

last time he went too fast, he threw his back out and you had to run through the shack butt-naked looking for his lumbar support pillow

he doesn’t like to talk about it, it was super embarrassing for the both of you lowkey

you were sweet about it tho, i mean, he is in his 70s and you found it sweet he almost destroyed his back to make you feel good

absolutely lovessss receiving head

he’s alsooo a giver dw, certified muncher??? or wtv they say, but he personally likes getting more

anyway back to the cutesy stuff

sometimes he asks you to help him build some stuff for the shack

you get to see stan be creative and create art, as well as fix stuff around the shack (if soos isn’t around)

a lot of duct tape related fixing, but watching him work is hot so u don’t care

i love u stanley pines i need u so bad pls pls pls ruin my life

[trashcanfanfics]

do you suppose we could have a teen ford x reader drabble where stanley teases him about having a thing for the reader but he initially denies it, but then that night he finds himself lying awake thinking about them and realizes he does indeed have it bad?

please, and thank you

Ah the parallels between him and Dipper really are great

Lunch had been the final straw. At school, you usually sat with the twins, but today you needed to sit with a partner for one of your class projects to finalize some details about the presentation board. Ford had been staring wistfully at your back since he and Stan sat down, idly poking at the school lunch. He didn't even realize when Stan had taken his bread roll for himself. Another sigh as he gently poked at the soggy spaghetti noodles.

"Damn, you've got it bad." Stan finally spoke up, smug grin taking up his usual smirk. "You look like a creep, staring at them like that." The comments made Ford flush and look away from you to glare at Stan.

"Oh please, they're just a wonderful friend. Sure, they're attractive, smart, has a smile that can light up a room, but that's just what it is. Nothing more than--" your laugh caught his attention, causing him to look at you again "-- a friend." Ford was staring again and it made his twin snicker. He kicked Ford gently under the table, his grin still smug, to catch the love sick boy's attention.

"Just don't lay awake at night thinking about them." He joked, barking out a laugh at the sputtered response he received.

"I won't!"

~*~

Later that night, when everyone had gone to sleep, Stan snoring loudly above him on the top bunk, Ford laid awake. His thoughts were echos of your voice and laughter, images of your smile, and the way your eyes lit up when you talked about your favorite things. His face had a small smile and he sighed for the millionth time that day. A sudden realization made him frown and his eyes open wide. He was laying awake. At night. Thinking about you.

"Oh no."

[simplydozing]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲

Stanley Pines x Reader Your husband Stanley sacrifices himself to save everyone from Weirdmageddon, but loses his memory during the process. You try to get him to remember you, but it doesn’t end the way you want it to. Word Count: 1457 || AO3 ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

Here you all stand, in the heavy wooded patch the Mystery Shack was located. The place you called home was now destroyed, bits of debris scattered around you all.

 It was a long, gruesome battle, but you and the townspeople came together and overcame Bill and his plan to take over the world.

 But it came with a price.

 Stan, the once berated and shunned man, switched places with Ford. He gave himself away to save everyone and everything he loved. You begged him not to, that you all could figure something else out. But the back of your mind knew there was no other way.

 And when you saw the memory gun aimed at him, you had to look away.

 When you looked back, he was gone.

 His eyes were so empty when he finally came to.

 He looked around, still on his knees. It was like he never saw this place before. You’ve only seen him this confused once before, and that’s when you said you wanted to be with him more than anything. He never thought he’d ever have someone like you, so hearing this initially stunted him.

 But now, he’ll never remember that. He no longer shares the same memories you do.

 He wasn’t the man you came to know.

“Wha- Where am I?”

 Your hands trembled as they made their way to cover your mouth. Your heart sank, and your whole body became lead. You were a statue, watching his face contort when he stares at these strangers in front of him.

“Who are you all?!” He falls back and scoots away from the group.

 You wanted to be the first to help him, but your feet couldn’t move.

 The twins eased their way to him to not scare him any more than he is now.

“Grunkle Stan…”  Mabel’s little voice cracked.

“You don’t remember us?” Dipper placed a hand on his arm.

 Stan shook his head. What are these kids talking about? What is a “Grunkle?”

 Mable couldn’t take it anymore, and broke down. 

 You were about to do the same. 

 Dipper crawled to her and hugged her tightly, allowing himself to let a few tears slip but keeping his face covered with the brim of his hat.

 Stan’s eyes darted from the kids to you and the person next to you that looked just like him.

 Soon, his gaze focused on you. His eyes grew wider and they shimmered like they did all those years ago when you first started talking to each other.

 He whistles, catcalling you like used to when he would walk in on you changing or making dinner.

“Hey there, sugar. Who’s your friend?”

 Normally, you’d laugh or scoff at his flirty antics, but this time, it brought tears to your eyes. He wasn’t pretending or messing around. This was his reality now. He really was meeting you for the first time.

 You look at Ford. Nothing was said, but it was clear that it was your turn to talk to him.

 You turn back. You wipe the tears out the corners of your eyes. You mentally prepare yourself, huffing to yourself and swallowing thickly. Once you thought you were okay, you slowly made your approach, one foot dragging in front of the other.

 The closer you got, the more he looked pleased.

 You hoped and prayed with each step you took that you’d jog something. Anything.

 You sat in front of him with your knees tucked under you. You swear your heart is going to explode out of your chest.

 He smiles. That goofy grin also used to make you laugh.

 You take a deep breath and anxiously release it.

 He has to remember you.

“Stanley, baby,” you begin.

“Do you know where you are right now?”

“No, but it’s a lot better with you here.” He clicks his tongue and lifts his eyebrows. If this was some sort of sick joke, you’ll slap that nasty smirk clean off his face and go for Ford after.

Your eyes start to pool again.

 Please, let this be a joke.

“Stan, please,” you mutter.

 You’re at a loss at what to do. You don’t want to believe it, but maybe he’s too far gone. Your denial just has to save him. You were his salvation at one point, how could he not remember you?

 You’ve loved him ever since high school when everyone saw him as a lowlife. It didn’t help that your locker was a couple doors down from his.

 He was your lab partner in chemistry. 

 It’s amazing how a lab partner turned into a life partner.

Wait…

 Your marriage! Of course! You are married to him!

 A spark of hope electrocuted through you.

“Stan, look.” You jump into action, grasping his hand with the gold band on his ring finger.

“We’re married! See?” You bring your hand up next to his. Your ring band is thinner than his, with diamonds lining the middle of it.

 Staring at it and seeing how the light catches it makes you think back to that day.

 It was a courthouse wedding. No one else showed up, but you both knew it had to be that way. You didn’t mind at all. When the deed was done and you two were official, he apologized and promised that when the right time comes he’d give you the best wedding you could ever dream of.

 But being with him was already a dream come true.

 A half smile appeared on your face. You didn’t need a wedding to solidify your love for him. You didn’t need the “official” and legal marriage. But he was old fashioned and wanted to do things right by you.

 Too bad he can’t even figure out your name.

“Woah. Today just keeps gettin’ better and better!” He looks from the rings to you.

 Your chest expanded. Could it be? Could he be coming back?

“…Who are you again?”

 These words were the dagger that stabbed and shattered your heart. You physically could no longer hold yourself together.

 You whisper his name one more time. This can’t be how this ends. He’s just messing around with you. There’s no way he doesn’t remember you. You were sure of it. You thought this would work. You knew this had to work. You can’t let go of him. You won’t let go of him. You-

 Your quivering body launches, enveloping him in an embrace that he’ll never feel again.

 You weep.

 Your lover is gone and there’s nothing you can do about it.

“…I love you so much, Stanley Pines,” you can barely make out. Your throat is closing in on itself and your face feels hot.

“What is going on? Was it something I said?” This causes you to hold him closer.

 Eventually, Ford is the one to drag you away. You put up a fight, stringing together a bunch of “no”s before wailing his name at the top of your lungs. You needed to believe that if you held him longer that he’d magically turn back. Ultimately, that wasn’t the case. What’s done is done.

 You scream and cry and beg whatever being was out there to answer your prayers.

 Ford crouches down to your curled up frame and does his best to console you. You’re on your hands and knees, nails digging into the earth as you heave. He throws his arms around you and mumbles apologies you didn’t think you’d hear in the first place.

 “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” fills your ears.

 You feel him around you, breathing catching in his throat and fingers twitching. He’s going into hysterics along with you.

 He lost his brother too, after all.

 The fact that he’s still wearing Stan’s suit…

 You clench his sleeve and pull yourself up, now grabbing the lapels and sobbing in his shoulder. It still smells like him.

 You feel the wetness of Ford’s tears on the side of your face. He palms the back of your head. He rocks you to try and soothe you, resisting the urge to burst for your sake.

“He’s a hero,” he rasps.

 The four of you continued to mourn. Stan is left dumbfounded at the sight of everyone grieving. He thinks he should do something, but he can’t piece together what. He doesn’t want to get involved and accidentally interrupt you all.

 For the rest of the town, it was a day of celebration. For the Pines family, it was a day of loss.

 It was two sides of the same coin, both sides being free from Bill’s reign.

You don’t know what happens next. You just hope you and the rest can work together and one day bring your dearest Stanley’s memories back.

[writingwrench]

Confession (Stanford x Reader)

 I hope y’all enjoy! If you want me to write another or you have a suggestion, hit me up!

 Stanford glanced at the photo of the cheerful woman on his desk. She had this immutable, meanderous personality that he’d fallen hard for.

 Ever since they were younger, he’d had a type of respect for her enthusiastic and bubbly personality. Ever since high school (maybe even before then) he’d acquired an officious fervor for her. He didn’t really know how to tell her for fear of provoking some kind of rancor. 

 Even so, he ventured from his basement in search of his parsimonious heretic of a brother....

 “Stanley?” he asked,shutting the vending machine door. The twin was found sitting at the register, counting his day’s winnings.

 “Hey,bro!” he said, sea-tanned face splitting into a grin.

 “I need help,” Ford muttered,pulling a chair over to the counter and sitting down. 

 Stan set the money down,giving his brother his full attention. It wasn’t like him to ever ask for help. Even when they were on the Stan-O-War II.

 “I....I have feelings for (Y/N)....” he awkwardly began,hoping Stanley would understand. 

 Slowly, Stan began to smirk,before full acclaim filled the room. 

 “Finally, you admit it. It’s been over thirty years!” he laughed. Ford’s face was set aflame. He knew his brother wasn’t being callous, but he still felt somewhat ashamed for him to take this long to bring up the gall to tell her.

   Seeing Ford’s impression of a tomato, Stanley laughed again quietly,before,”Look,Poindexter, just go out there,hike up your big boy panties,  and tell her. She feels the same way...even though I don’t really understand, I am the better looking twin!” He grinned,winking. Which earned him an eye-roll from Ford.

 Still unsure, Ford, paused before the door, before Stan got fed up and just pushed him out to where (Y/N) was sitting with Dipper and Mabel. 

 “-I’m trying to nail that quack reporter for his actions,” She was saying. Stanford didn’t really understand what kind of conversation  he’d managed to walk into, but just hearing her voice, he’d instantly felt relieved. 

 “Hey, (N/N)?” he asked, nervousness seeping into his pores.

 “Hey, Ford!” she smiled brightly,turning to him. He stared at her for a moment, lost in her (E/C) eyes, before the awkward silence was broken by the angel he’d fell in love with.

 “What’s up?” she asked, not at all perturbed by the awkward silence. (She’d gotten used to it fairly quickly since Ford himself was such a cute, awkward person.)

 “I....um...I have to confess something,” he stuttered out, not meeting her eye for fear of peeing himself. He didn’t understand. He could take on demons and other horrifying creatures, but with a mere glance from (Y/N),his knees would buckle and he’d be a total loss for words.

 The girl raised a brow, signaling for him to continue....so he did.

 “I want...um...I would love.. gah,screw it! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!!” he yelled,startling (Y/N) and the younger twins.

 It was quiet until- “OH MY GOSH,GRUNKLE FORD!!!!!”

 (Y/N)’s face tinted pink.

 “Kids,” she said shakily,”Please give us some privacy.”

 They did as told, making their way to the house. It wasn’t long before she saw two heads pop up over the window sill. 

 Rolling her eyes and grinning, she rushed over to Ford,tackling him in a fierce hug. They both landed with a thud,before surprised giggles filled the air.

 “I love you too,Ford,” (Y/N) said, still grinning before pulling him to her by the front of his overcoat. Their lips met. The kiss was sweet and passionate, the  both of them marveling at how long it took for them to get to this point.

 They disconnected, resting their foreheads on each other’s shoulder, and quietly grinning.

 “(Y/N), I’m so sorry it took me so long,” Ford finally said,breaking the silence.

 He was met with another kiss.

 “It’s alright,you dork,” she said, still grinning.

 It may have taken forever, but she finally felt truly wanted.

[urlocaldesertdweller]

(Stanley X Ranger/Cop! Reader)

inspired by _heyitsjei on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@_heyitsjei/video/7411525022759570704?lang=en

im in love with the dymanic of ranger/cop of gravity falls in a strange relationship with the famous but sneaky Stan Pines. (suggestive, subtle mention of erection, making out, sensual touching)

You were an inspiring new ranger on the streets of Gravity Falls! You would accept any job from Blubs or Durland, and they had just the plan for you.

You had to look over a sneaky con artist named Stanley Pines. His age, in his 60s, made you think twice about this gig. Until you had your first encounter with him.

When you drove to the tourist trap that was his home, before you could even knock on the door, you heard a loud older voice scream about how the police were here in a panic.

You give a few knocks, which startles an entire argument between the older voice and a couple of younger voices within the home. After a couple more minutes of waiting and making sure you look clean from your hat and ranger pin, the door opens.

A young girl with a nervous smile looks up at you, and then when looking up, you see what you believe is Stanley, who looks clearly uncomfortable and is forced by the little girl to come and answer the door. She quickly introduces herself as Mabel, stepping aside to let Stanley enter the doorway and take a good look at you.

You didn't look intimidating as you smiled with a warm greeting for a ranger. Mabel relaxes with your first moment of greeting, and then you explain why you are here. To keep a close eye on Stanley Pines for a while, by orders of Sheriff Blubs.

Stanley's nervous grin falls into a frown as he scratches his back, groaning that he's basically going into a glorified retirement watch by a cop. With a mild eye twitch, you extend your hand to shake hands. Mabel elbows his side, and he sighs and takes your hand in shaking it. What surprises you is him pulling you in patting you on the back and whispering this.

"Good luck, kid; a young cop like yourself will have a rough time with an old but experienced dog like myself."

He lets you go, and you act as though he had challenged you. You walk back, confused but determined, looking back at the cabin.

...

You'd have your weekly to daily checkups on Stan Pines. You stood firm against his tricks and frustrating antics, from bribing you to straight-up attempting to lie in front of your face. But you weren't Sheriff Blubs of Deputy Durland.

From warning to fines, Stan made sure to give you the stink eye as you beamed with pride doing your job. Of course, this man would step and dabble crimes involving you having to take him into the office for questioning.

Once, you'd pulled up proof that he was not only scamming people out of money for some party but also carrying various weapons within his home.

You pull into the booming outdoor party; you don't falter when you feel the wave of groans as you step out of your vehicle; Stan makes sure to comment about you being once again the party pooper. This only made things tense between the two of you as you stepped right into the middle of the dance floor, hands on your hips, staring right at Stan.

You couldn't help but glance at the way he was dressed; it suited and looked good on him for being in his 60s (the party outfit in "Swooning over Stans"). Stanley would catch you but say nothing in front of such a crowd. He smirks.

"I'm afraid you're coming with me, Stanley Pines. You had fun while you had it tonight, but I'm taking you in for crossing the line with this party!"

The surrounding crowd ooohs as you pull out your cuffs, and you watch Stan visibly tense up; he looks almost ready to run, but you rush up to the porch walking behind his back. He resists, but you manage to cuff him behind his back. Thanks to the other young twin of Mable, Dipper stopped him from running.

You lead him towards your car as the crowd watches the show. From insults to snarky comments about the way you are handling and touching him in the back of the vehicle, you only roll your eyes. As you double-check the locks and yell to the party to continue as they pleased, you drove off back into the roads towards the town.

The tension only grows between you as you stay quiet and keep your eyes on the road, only sparing some glances at him in your mirror to ensure he isn't escaping, also maybe to enjoy the exposed chest where a gold chain is nestled in chest hair and his man-boobs.

However, Stanley would finally talk about how he didn't miss how you looked at him at the party and now. You are surprised by this; you nearly choke on your spit and swerve slightly on the road. You cough, clearing your throat as you tilt the mirror, and you glare at him with your meanest eyes, making Stan chuckle as you enter town.

You were unaware of having to use the oldest cop cars known today and that the literal child's lock was set and entirely available for Stanley in the back.

You do your best to cool your face down from Stans's comment, which oddly seems to come at a consistent rate until you were realized too late from the sound of the lock being shifted and the door opening.

You stop immediately as Stan jumps out of the door into the streets while screaming for freedom. The people walking gasp and shout at the sight. You jump out and make a run yelling for Stan to stop while he mocks you and laughs. He's a decent runner for an older guy...until his knees fail him, and he slows down quickly.

Being the tryhard cop you are, you tackle him and press him hard into the ground on top of him. He groans and shifts underneath you; the sight alone relaxes the people around.

You have to admit the man caught a young cop like you off guard, and you even found yourself breathless from the chase. You lean beside his ear, laughingly from when he challenged you.

"...I don't..need any luck to catch you! And I thought that you were... experienced, no.?"

Stanley straight-up growls with frustration and tries his hardest to move out of your grip. He even dares to thrust into you with shock, but it only makes you hotter and keeps the grip on his hands harder.

The crowd then becomes confused by the odd tensions and weird movements the two of you are making and leaves the scene.

With enough shuffling, you manage to get him back in the car; for good measure, you get an extra pair of cuffs on his ankles, to which Stan can't help but give a low whistle at the sight of you below and between his legs.

You give him a stink eye and slam the door on him before returning to drive to the office.

You feel the tension only become thicker between you and him as you think yourself tugging on the tight collar of your shirt, and you find Stan unbuttoning just one more button and sighing leaning into the seat, legs wide even with the cuffs. He was going to be the death of you for sure.

Things are thick as you grab him out, you swear you could feel him cursing under his breath but you keep on pushing him into the lit building to have him situated.

You huff and finally return him to the building. Your Sheriff and Deputy are found playing with a paper fortune teller at the main desk. They look equally as flustered when you surprise them with Stan by your side looking as though the two of you were making out.

You get the keys to the cell he will be momentarily set in. You sit him down to take off the ankle cuffs, the heat between you grew as you realized that Stan was closing his thighs you look up in question to look at a very red Stan.

…Oh my, it doesn’t take awhile to realize what Stan is feeling right now. You quickly stand and back away unsure and Stan admits.

“Shit kid, You can leave me in here if you’re uncomfortable… This is such a bad time.”

You gulp finding yourself tugging out you collar once more. You feel yourself getting red and hot but you shake your head and sigh as you step forward towards him in response.

Stan is clearly surprised by your reaction.

But what makes everything tip is when you sit on his lap making him groan which is covered by his hand shoved into his mouth.

Hands and lips are thrown at once. Stan is quick to wrap his arms around you, your lips met hot and soft.

His hands softly rub into your hips through your clothing, as you feel for his skin through the window of his unbuttoned party shirt.

You both push in with your tongues, even with a heated make out session you both seem to have a competition as you both fight for dominance. The fact that this is your first time making out with some one definitely says something about you.

He comes over top more experienced, especially when he thrusts into you making you gasp and pull away breathless and tugging on your shirt desperately wanting to cool down.

But Stan stops you when you reach for your buttons.

“Don’t. This can wait when you aren’t on the job okay sweet cheeks? You are, amazing for a cop but I don’t want me to ruin your job.”

You nod and pull away out of the cell locking it and smile at Stan to which he winks at you and finger-guns you.

“But I promise you a hell of a good time somewhere else, beautiful.”

You are definitely going to look forward for that in the future. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

[gay-dorito-dust]

(platonic)

Stan and the reader as best friends since they knew Ford from college and when the twins are born, they go with him to see them at the hospital. Probably took a while before they could get a turn holding them.

For those not in the know, mason is dippers actual name.

The moment you were about to take a sip from your much needed morning drink to properly prepare for the day ahead, you were grabbed by your shoulders by your lifelong friend Stanley, which made you drop your cup and watch helplessly as it smashed into a million pieces on the floor between you both.

‘Stan! What the actual-‘

‘TWINS!’ Stan exclaimed, gripping your shoulders tighter as he smiled gleefully.

‘Twins?’ You questioned, no where near mentally ready to do any thinking this soon in the morning and just wanted him to be more straightforward.

‘The babies! They’re twins!’ Stan replied as he lets out a laugh of disbelief as he let one hand off your shoulder to run through his hair. ‘Guess it does run in the family after all.’ He adds and it only took you a minute to realise what he was going on about as you gasped, grabbing your friend by his arms, smiling widely.

‘They’re born? Already? You’re a great uncle Stan! A grunkle Stan if you will!’ You cried as you couldn’t help but feel happy for your friend who only looked at you as though you had grown a second head. ‘Grunkle?’ Stan tested out, ‘I’m not calling myself that.’ He adds. you shrugged, having seen this outcome from a mile away. ‘Worth a shot though, but back to what really matters, and that is the fact that we’re still standing here like idiots when we could be meeting the two new additions to the family!’ You shouted as you pulled yourself away from Stan in order to get ready to leave, but before you did you looked back at Stan. ‘Oh and make sure to put some pants on this time.’ You added with a smile before disappearing up the stairs to get changed.

Stan, confused about what was said and mutters to himself as he walked towards the door, impatiently waiting for you. ‘What are they talking about- oh.’ He abruptly stops when he catches himself in the mirror of the hallway to see that he was still wearing his white shirt and blue striped boxers. ‘Now the pants comment makes sense.’ He then says as he too rushed back to his room to grab the nearest pair of pants that he could before you could finish changing.

For as long as Stan knew you, you never seem to let him live it down whenever you get ready before him. So much so that it had became a weird competition of sorts between you to see who’d finish first to claim bragging rights over the other for the rest of the week. Was it stupid? Yeah but it was something that just to two of you shared and understood, so who cared if anyone else thought it was stupid, especially if it was something that made you happy.

Unfortunately for Stan, you won as his pants didn’t want seem to want to get on his legs at all and the moment they did, you were already stood in the hallway dressed and ready to go. ‘Took you long enough.’ You teased as you followed Stan out to the car, wanting nothing more than to meet the cute little baby twins and spoil them rotten.

Stan only glares at you from the corner of his eye as he starts the car. ‘I hate you.’ He said.

You smirked. ‘You wish you could but you know you can’t. Now shut up and drive we’ve got some cute babies to see and I’m not wanting to be late because you were having a fight with your pants.’ You said as the long and arduous to the hospital began.

‘What’s their names, do we know?’ You asked softly as you watched the twins -one girl and one boy- as they slept soundly in Stan’s arms. ‘Mason and Mabel.’ He tells you and you couldn’t help but smile when the girl- Mabel- reached a hand out at the sound of your voice as you gladly let her grab your finger and squeeze it in her tiny baby hand before she let go. The twins were both so cute and adorable and something deep down told you that you wouldn’t be able to tell them no even if you tried; These little babies will have you hook, line and sinker every time and you’ll have no problem with it.

‘Mason and Mabel pines. Oh I can tell they’re going to be quite the dynamic duo.’ You said as you gingerly trace the big dipper like birthmark on Mason’s forehead, ‘especially this one if he’s going to become anything like Ford.’ You added as you gently booped mason on his little nose, chuckling when Mason scrunched his little face up, already wanting them to grow up so you could teach them on how to prank their grunkle Stan. You missed Ford dearly and wished he could’ve been here to witness this moment with you and Stanley but you’ll take what you could get, however you get it.

‘Do you want to hold them?’ Stan asked after a period of silence.

‘Are you sure? I don’t want to drop them.’ You said, suddenly feeling a little anxious at given the test of holding a small, fragile baby.

‘You’re their godparent for Christ sakes of course you should get to hold your own godchildren.’ Stan says as he reassured you, knowing how often you got into your own head sometimes that he had to be the one to physically pull you back into reality, something he didn’t mind doing now and then.

You took a deep breath. ‘Okay.’ You said as you fought to control your nerves, ‘just let me hold little Dipper here for the time being-‘

‘Little Dipper?’ Stan asked.

‘Yeah cuz of the dipper constellation on his forehead, while yes it’s technically the Big Dipper but he’s a baby so I’m calling my godson Little Dipper until he’s far older, I’m talking 20 at least.’ You told Stan as he only scoffed playfully. ‘God help these kids if they’re ever stuck with you.’ He retorted while you stuck your tongue out at him as you took Mason off of him and cradled him close to your chest, cooing when he seemingly tucked himself closer to you and gripped your hand with his tinier one. The small action alone was enough to make you a little teary eyed knowing that they’ve barely yet opened their eyes and yet they’ve already found comfort in your presence.

‘Hello little guy.’ You whispered to Mason as he shifted at the sound of your voice. ‘I’m y/n and I’m your godparent and I’m going to spoil you both absolutely rotten little mister.’ You continued with a little break in your voice as you never thought you’d see the day where you’d become a godparent but a godparent to two cute little twins nonetheless? You were truly blessed with this opportunity and you wouldn’t dare ruin that trust bestowed upon you by Mason and Mabel’s parents. ‘That I promise you and little marvellous Mabel over there. So I hope that’s okay with you.’ You added as you looked over at Stan who looked down at Mabel with soft eyes and a softer smile.

Mason made a little sound, it was soft, so soft you almost missed it but you swore you saw a smile appeared on the sweet boys face. You kissed his forehead once, twice, three times. ‘Thank you little man, I promise I’ll teach you all my tricks on how to get under your grunkles skin.’ You whispered cheekily.

‘I heard that and don’t listen to them kid, they’ll only lead you astray and teach you really bad jokes.’ Stan replied with a smile as you pretended to cover little mason’s ears with your hand while holding him close to your chest. ‘Don’t listen to your grunkle Little Dipper, he’s a big meanie who never puts on pants and fyi my jokes are awesome, I’ll write you a joke book and give it to you when you and your sister are twelve.’ You retaliated, unable to contain your excitement for the future and getting to see two beautiful babies grow in to exceptional people.

‘Wanna hold Mabel next?’ Stan asked.

‘You just wanna swap babies so you can tell Little Dipper to not follow my example.’ You quipped but felt yourself melt when you saw that Mabel was actually reaching out for you with her little baby hands before you look at Stan with a deadpan look. ‘Gimme my sweet little Mabel.’

Stan smirked as you gave him Mason while he gave you Mabel in exchange as you both coddled the twins in love and affection, knowing damn well there wasn’t anything neither of you would do for the sweet bundles of joy in your arms.

[dipperscavern]

lord dipper lord dipper!!! m’lord, the council Must know about blowing the stark men today!!! the topic cannot be overlooked much longer! (fr tho the ask abt cregan putting his hand on the back of ur NECK?????? changed me as a woman)

[brittany broski british accent] yES YES. I HEAR YOU MY DEAR!! THIS REQUIRES OUR IMMEDIATE ATTENTION, IT DOES SO. (also me too girl that ask changed my brain chemistry)

cregan would look so big from your position on your knees LAWRD. all intimidating as he undoes the laces on his breeches (or if you’re good, you can do it for him 🙂‍↕️), lookin down at you with that smirk of his. would be all shaky breaths and grunts, a small nose scrunch if you run your tongue on the underside of his cock tee hee. a hand on the back of your neck, whether it’s to ground you or a placeholder for him.. who knows? sometimes he’ll use it to keep you in place if it’s an attitude adjustment.. sigh. what can he say? don’t talk with your mouth full.

robb… oh robb. that man is a throatfucker and u can’t change my mind sorry! only sometimes, when he just needs to be rough & messy n shove his cock down your throat. anyways, he loves the feel of your lips wrapped around his cock. likes receiving more than giving (but would absolutely still give don’t get me wrong). he tips his head back, groans & grunts rising from deep in his chest. grits his teeth when you suckle a lil on the tip (i’m clutching my pearls). he loves you & your mouth, and when you’re done he’s pulling you up & slotting his lips against yours, slipping his tongue in your mouth and groaning at the taste of himself…

jon would have a hard time keeping still. you’d be the first mouth he’s has around his cock, man does NOT know how to act. idc fight me you’d make that man writhe. he’d regain a bit of his composure when you smooth a hand over his thigh. his brows are pinched together hard, eyes shut as he groans and breathes sooo heavy. the occasional whimper. he’d try and steady his breathing to no avail, bless him. and his hips would jut forward ever so slightly, then would pull back cause he wants to make sure you’re able to breathe. he’d definitely have a hand on your jaw, but if he’s losing control & accidentally tightening his grip, he’d fist the furs/his cloak/anything else he could grab onto cause he doesn’t wanna hurt you. 😭

[littlebearbun]

Stanley Pines x Reader; Mixed Priorities (nsfw, afab reader)

I just realized I never put this on Tumblr......

(tw: blood)

You should have been more worried.

There had been…zombies. Zombies, and Stan had protected you, Dipper, and Mabel from them. Now, you sat cross legged on your guest bed and Stan appeared in the doorway, suit torn, hair a mess, fez missing, lip split.

A drip of blood trailed down to his chin and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. You followed the motion, telling yourself you were just worried about him and ignoring the way your mouth watered.

“You alright, toots?” Stan asked. You nodded, and only then did he relax and step into your room, as if finally able to pass a barrier.

“That was…amazing, Stanley,” you said softly, and Stan chuckled, shrugging his broad shoulders.

“It was nothin’.” You stood just before he was within your reach and gripped the lapels of his jacket.

You didn’t know what to feel. Relief that he seemed ok, as you smoothed your hands down his chest. Residual fear from what had happened. And a deep, shameful feeling, one that you wouldn’t-couldn’t-voice.

Stanley had been a vision. Powerful swings of his fists, brass knuckles gleaming in the dim light of the shack, all determination and skill and…

You weren’t sure you had ever wanted someone so badly.

“…….just protecting you.” You blinked, refocusing, eyes trained on his mouth, realizing Stan was still talking. A light flush colored your cheeks. You couldn’t allow yourself to get lost in thought like that.

Stan was staring at you now, though, head cocked, eyes slightly narrowed.

“What'cha thinking about, doll?” He asked, and took a step closer. You shook your head.

“Just how good you are to us,” you said, which was true, but also a lie by omission.

“Mn,” he hummed, “I’m not sure that’s all.” And suddenly his hand was at your chin, bloody thumb at your lower lip and smearing red across your mouth. You gasped, body going rigid, and Stan’s eyes went just a bit darker.

“I knew it. I thought I knew that look. You thought just because I was busy taking care of my family that I wouldn’t notice that my girl was wantin’?” His voice had dropped considerably, resonating in the marrow of your bones and dropping to the spiking heat between your legs. “You like a little rough, don’t you? Like knowing that I can keep you safe.”

You nodded mutely. Stan pressed his thumb against your lips and parted them, slipping his finger into your mouth to press down on your tongue. Your eyelids drooped, reveling in the coppery taste as you sucked on his finger without a second thought.

“Ooh, there’s a good princess. Good little bloodslut.” You moaned, face aflame, and Stan smirked wickedly. “Thought I didn’t know, did you? Oh, no. I’ve just been waiting for the right time to call you out.” He yanked his finger out of your mouth, leaving you gasping into his immediate kiss, all tongue and teeth and the overarching taste of his blood.

His calloused fingers made their way past the waistband of your pants and he groaned into your mouth as he made contact with your already soaked panties.

“Fuck,” he murmured into your mouth as you moaned against him and squirmed. “You want this bad, huh? Want me to bloody you up a little?”

“Yes,” you gasped as two of Stan’s lovely, thick fingers fucked up into you and spread.

“Gonna look lovely in red, pumpkin,” he cooed, voice saccharine and dangerous. “Gonna mess you up. Would you like that?”

[jackie-gremlin-ghost]

Ford: *after having convinced Stan to play a session of DD&MD with him and the kids* The Fae Lord has accepted your deal of safety for your kingdom in exchange for your firstborn child, Fighter. However, the deal will be nullified and goods still delivered on, so long as you can tell the Fae Lord his name.

Stan: Before we do that, I got one question, though; he hot?

Ford: I don't see how that's relevant, but yes, did you miss the part where I said they're a Fae Lord?

Stan: Hey, Fae dude! We know your real name!

Ford: "Oh, do you now? Very well, what is my name, Mortal?"

Stan: *smirks* Daddy.

Ford: Expardon me, WHAT??

Stan: Just figured it'd be super easy to give him my firstborn child if he's my baby's father.

Ford: Roll persuasion, you son of a bitch…

Stan: *smugly* And that is going to be… *rolls dice* a natural 20, for a total of… 32.

Ford: *fuming as Dipper and Mabel try desperately not to laugh* The Fae Lord… finds you… VERY ATTRACTIVE!

[arminsumi]

Hello! My boyfriend of 8 years just broke up with me and my birthday is tomorrow I was wondering if you could possibly write a Suguru fluff. Thank you!

★ Chef student!Suguru feeding you pancakes

Geto すぐる

Note : i'm so sorry to hear that! i hope it is not too hard to cope 💗🥞 take care of yourself!

The smell of pancakes wafts up into the air.

It's funny, you're watching such a big and muscular man wearing a pink Hello Kitty apron while he flips pancakes.

And he flips these pancakes with the utmost delicateness and gentleness — as if the pancakes have feelings.

He piles up the best pancakes onto your plate and gives himself the floppier, less appetizing ones.

"Honey or syrup?" Suguru asks.

"Who would have syrup on their pancakes?" you scrunch your face up, "Pancakes are meant to be eaten with honey."

"What! No — syrup is way better!" he responds, one hand firmly gripping a pink spatula.

The spatula is not just pink. It's also too big for the pan. The pan is also tiny. But it's stick-free, and there is a joy to be had in flipping pancakes with a stick-free pan of that size with a pink spatula.

"Syrup is not better. It's too sweet." you argue.

Suguru keeps piling up the fluffiest pancakes on your plate. They're golden and puffing with steam, hot off the pan.

"Well, you're too sweet but I still love kissing your sugar lips." he flirts.

"Oh Sugu!" you roll your eyes. He's made your cheeks burn again.

He leans down for a small kiss. The smack between yours and his lips and little wetness makes him fluttery.

"You're ridiculous. And that apron is also ridiculous." you say. "What if your school saw you wearing that to the next class?"

"I think they'd appoint me as Head Chef and give me Michelin stars right away. Then I can be your Michelin-starred Suguru."

"Ah, you make it sound like your sole purpose to drag through culinary school is to be a chef boyfriend." you laugh.

He grins at you and prepares to circle honey over your pancakes. He grips the honey dipper gently, pinching it between his thumb and index fingers, and lets it slowly drip honey onto your fluffy pancakes.

"Anyways, don't you mock the Hello Kitty apron." he says with faux seriousness. "It's not a joke. It will bring me good luck."

"Sorry, Chef Geto." you play along.

He smirks and lifts the plate, forks a honey-smothered pancake piece and raises it to level with your mouth.

"Open wide, birthday girl." Suguru coos.

You open wide and Suguru feeds you a bite. Instantly, your face melts at the buttery, fluffy taste.

"Are they good?" he asks, just to lure a compliment out of you about his cooking.

"Mhm. I always love your cooking, Sugu. It tastes like a gentle man made it." you nod, happily taking the plate and stuffing another piece of pancake into your mouth.

Suguru feels a bit smug about his cooking now.

The compliments he gets from you get stored into his mind for safekeeping — he'll remember this one for years and his heart will flutter. Even when he's become a real chef at a restaurant, every compliment will never mean as much as this one you made over birthday pancakes.

He tastes his own pancakes, with the syrup on top.

Suguru hums contemplatively while chewing. You intently watch his sharp jawline as he chews. How can he make the act of eating seem so alluring?

"Tastes good — but not as good as you." he flirts.

"Stop flirting or I'll stuff your mouth with honey pancakes." you grumble cutely.

"Oh no! Honey pancakes; my worst enemy..." he murmurs and leans down to you for a soft kiss.

You taste the syrup on Suguru's lips and he tastes the honey on yours.

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[ckret2]

Chapter 47 of human Bill Cipher thinking that being imprisoned in the Mystery Shack is looking pretty good right now:

The Eclipse: Part 5

Bill and Ford are just... so energized and enthusiastic after their near death experience. Not to mention fashionable.

But they've got nothing on Dipper.

And, at long last, Ford and Dipper badger Bill—who's just too tired to lie—into explaining what kind of an "eclipse" involves a giant flying axolotl making gravity disappear.

####

When they reached the cave, Ford discovered that his antique lantern was too waterlogged to light.

"I'm not sure how we're getting to the top now," Ford said. The cavern directly behind the waterfall had some ambient lighting, but it wouldn't carry very far. "I know you can see, but I don't trust you to lead me through a cave system in the dark, no offense." He was surprised at himself for saying no offense.

"If I was planning to let you fall off a cliff, I could've saved myself a swim in the lake." Bill had taken off his backpack and was rummaging through it. "Didn't your lantern go out when you took four-eyes hiking through here? You should have learned your lesson."

Bill must have meant Fiddleford, though it was strange to hear him single out Fiddleford as "four-eyes" when Ford wore glasses too. "I did learn my lesson. I brought three flashlights as backup," Ford said. "Which are in Dipper's backpack."

Bill laughed weakly.

"Did you bring a flashlight?"

"Better." Bill pulled out a kazoo. He blew a stream of water from it, shook it, and then took a deep breath and played a long high note that wavered up and down.

Ford cringed at the noise. "Bill, what—?"

Bill held up a finger to silence Ford. Okay, fine. He was curious now.

It took a few moments of increasingly irritating kazoo playing, but Ford heard a soft clinking sound coming from the deeper caverns; and then several geodites—small creatures that looked like stone orbs with crystal limbs and teeth and glowing eyes—curiously emerged into the main cavern. Ford hadn't seen these creatures since he'd documented them in the eighties. He hadn't known they could be summoned via kazoo. They began making a high pitched humming along with Bill's kazooing. 

"There you are." Bill stuffed the kazoo into his backpack and crouched down, holding out a hand until a couple of geodites crept closer to inspect it; and then he scooped up the closest one. The others startled into breaking off singing, but hovered nearby, chirping and clicking. "Okay, grab a flashlight." The light the geodites' eyes gave off wasn't very bright; but it was enough for Ford to see Bill's smug smirk. They proceeded into the caves, and a dozen-odd more geodites—perhaps out of curiosity, perhaps out of concern for the two hostages—followed along behind them.

The climb went much slower than it had just a few hours earlier. Unsurprisingly, without low gravity on his side, Bill was the holdup this time. Not only was he not as experienced in spelunking as Ford, but between his waterlogged dress shoes and his borrowed trout slippers he didn't have any appropriate footwear, and he'd elected to carefully climb barefoot again. When Ford had climbed up this path with Fiddleford in the 80s, it had been a six hour climb. He had no idea how long it would take with Bill.

But even at that, Ford hadn't expected Bill to need to pause so often to get his energy back. It seemed like the more Ford recovered from their fall in the lake, the weaker Bill got. In any other situation, he'd suspect Bill of slowing them down on purpose, but after... well, even that aside, Ford couldn't think of any reason Bill would want to delay getting home.

"It's just this body that's dizzy," Bill said, the fourth time they had to stop for him to sit. "Probably one of those... counterproductive stress reactions human bodies get." He wiped a film of sweat off his forehead, then stopped to examine how his hand trembled when his geodite's spotlight eyes fixed on it. "That or it's because I've only had a handful of cereal for the past two days."

Ford stared at him. "You what? Why?"

Bill shrugged. "Body wouldn't let me get more down. Wasn't my idea."

"Well, for goodness's sake, eat something now."

Bill took off his backpack, pulled out a cereal box, and opened it. He grimaced. He poured out a puddle of sugary lake water and dissolved cereal.

Of course. "Here." Ford pulled a tube of astronaut meat out of his backpack and offered it over. "It's not the most nutritionally complete meal supplement, but it's something. It'll have protein."

Bill took the tube with a grimace, but squeezed out a dollop of meat paste and licked it; and then he gagged so hard he doubled over. He clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from retching and offered the tube back. "Mmmf." The geodite hopped out of his lap in alarm and retreated to the group of hangers-on traveling with them.

The meat paste wasn't great, but that was a disproportionate reaction out of the alien who liked to mix chocolate sauce and mustard. This was a bigger problem than Ford had anticipated. "Keep it. If you can get down even a tiny bit every few minutes, that's better than nothing."

Bill nodded jerkily.

"I think it's better if we reach Dipper and get out of here as soon as possible."

Bill nodded more enthusiastically.

What would they do if Bill couldn't make it the whole way? Would Ford have to leave him in the cave and come back for him later? Ford hadn't tied the infinity belt's cable to Bill like he'd meant to, he just realized. It seemed unnecessarily cruel to try now; but it might be useful if he did have to leave Bill behind. He didn't know that they had any better option, he couldn't carry Bill all the way up and down. Especially since Bill had let go of his geodite, and Ford suspected the rest might abandon them if he put down his own...

They'd have to figure that out if it came to it. For now, they kept walking—Ford glancing back regularly to check on Bill, and Bill pretending he didn't notice.

####

After another half hour and another two increasingly frequent breaks, Ford saw a faint light in the tunnels ahead—yellow-white, not like the geodites' natural blues and purples. "Bill, is that...?"

"Hm?" Bill looked in the direction Ford was pointing. His right eye twitched, and then he had to squeeze his eyes shut in pain. "Yep. Boy child at 12 o'clock."

Ford called out, "Dipper?"

"Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper's voice echoed through the caves. There was a sound of clattering rocks as Dipper scrabbled down the tunnel to join them. The geodites scattered in fear, peering out from behind stalagmites as Dipper's flashlight swept over the scene. "Grunkle Ford! Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Are you—?"

Dipper collided with Ford to hug him. (Ford held his geodite out to the side so he could return a one-armed hug.) "I'm so sorry I saw you go over the cliff but I couldn't do anything I was in the mindscape the whole time something sucked my soul out of my body—"

"Not it, I'm innocent," Bill said unnecessarily, "nobody look at me." He'd taken advantage of the break to immediately sit on the ground. His abandoned geodite crept back over to check on him.

"—and—and wow, that was the Axolotl you were talking about, right?" Dipper let go of Ford to gesture like a fisherman demonstrating the size of an enormous catch, "It was huge, it had to be—I don't know, as long as the county? The whole state? How did it get so big? Is the Axolotl an alien or some kind of mutant Earth axolotl? Are all axolotls aliens—?"

"Now, hold on," Ford said, putting a hand on Dipper's shoulder, "what huge axolotl? What are you talking about?"

"You didn't see it?" Dipper paused, looked Ford up and down, and said, "What are you wearing?"

Ford grimaced, tugged his bandanna up a little higher, and turned his geodite away when it tried to aim its spotlight eyes at his neck to see what he was doing. "We had to borrow some dry clothes."

"He couldn't see the Axolotl," Bill said. "You shouldn't have, either."

"Sor-ry. Getting sucked out of my body wasn't my idea—"

"Hold on," Ford said again. "What do you mean, sucked out of your body?"

As they headed back down toward the waterfall, Dipper and Ford exchanged their versions of events. It didn't take long for them to realize Bill had saved both their lives with a swift efficiency that, had it been applied to any less altruistic a task, could have been called "ruthless." They didn't say anything, but neither one could stop from glancing back toward Bill.

"What?" he snapped, clinging to his geodite a little tighter like he thought they were planning to take it. "I don't owe you an explanation. You're not dead! Be grateful. Stop looking at me."

They stopped looking at him. Bill should be gloating about them owing him their lives. He should be convincing them they had to pay back their debt. Silence alone would have been worrying; but bristling like he wanted them to forget what he'd done was baffling.

As Dipper finished explaining his version of events, he said, "I think I remember meeting the Axolotl before—like you said." He directed this last comment back over his shoulder toward Bill.

Bill—whose entire attention had been focused for the last ten minutes on walking without collapsing, tripping, or dropping his geodite—simply muttered, "My condolences."

"Wait," Ford said, "You've... met a giant invisible axolotl before?"

"Mabel and I both did."

"When?"

Dipper opened his mouth, paused, and glanced back again at Bill for help.

It took a few seconds for Bill to register the question. "Oh—they've never met before. Not in this reality."

Exasperated, Dipper asked, "Then why do I remember it?"

"I told you—echoes," Bill said. When Dipper continued giving him an expectant look, Bill sighed deeply and said, "This is an embarrassing oversimplification, but you're at least familiar with the concept of branching timelines, right?"

"Of course I am. Every time you make a decision, the timeline splits into two paths—"

"Cute that you think it caps out at two," Bill said. "And a decision doesn't always split the timeline, sometimes the branches collapse back together depending on the gravity of the decision you made. I don't literally mean a decision 'you' made—you've never made a decision that important—but sure, you've got the basic idea."

"Fine," Dipper snapped. "So I met it on another branch, right? When?"

"Never," Bill said.

"Okay. Yes. But there is a branch where... some version of me met it. Right?"

"It depends on how you define 'is.'"

Dipper puffed out his cheeks with the effort of restraining a yell. He looked at Ford for either help or sympathy.

Ford winked surreptitiously at Dipper and said, "It's probably some complicated chronological issue. I doubt Bill can explain it in a way humans can understand." Under his breath, he loudly muttered, "Some 'teacher.'"

Bill straight-armed Ford aside to walk beside Dipper. "You humans have no sense of humor," he said. "I said you met him never because it's literally true. You had an accident that landed you in a time and space outside time and space—the meeting happened never and nowhere. It's where he prefers to take visitors. That timeline terminated after your meeting—and I don't mean you died, I mean he terminated that entire timeline."

"Really?" Dipper shivered. "With... With everyone in it? Why did he do that? Did something dangerous happen in that timeline, or was it unstable, or...?"

"That's how he usually ends casual meet-and-greets," Bill said. "Higher dimensional beings. He sees your reality from a perspective unimaginable to you. Remember when I told you you're just a movie projecting on a wall to him; he's got no problem with pulling the film out of the reel to inspect a few frames and then turning the entire projector off when he's done. What does he care if that's somebody's entire reality?" He paused to think that over. "Maybe the projector metaphor's getting strained. Imagine flipping through a book with all the pages out of order, and meeting him is like somehow flipping to a page outside the book... No, that's a little too contrived. I'll stick with the projector."

"When did we... when would we have met him?" Dipper asked. "And—when I say 'when' I mean—you know what I mean."

"You mean, when would you have made the decisions that could have led to you meeting him? Depending on your perspective, either last August or 207̃05. Time travel was involved."

"Last August..." Dipper thought back. "Was that when we were—?"

"Treasure hunting, yeah. By the by, I never asked—" Bill gestured vaguely around them at everything in general, "—which dimension did I end up in? Is this the one where you went hunting in the 1400s or 1800s?"

"Uh—1800s."

"Hm. Knew this wasn't a 207̃05 treasure hunt timeline, Questiony doesn't have a pet enslaved time pirate."

"A what?"

"So you never had a chance of meeting the Axolotl anyway," Bill said. "Hey, fun fact! Did you know there's a time pocket where twelve million alternate versions of you, your sister, and the puppet with the goggles failed at your quest and plummeted out of time? I wonder how long the last of them survived! I meant to check in after Weirdmageddon. Human flesh isn't that nutritious and doesn't have much water, but with millions of bodies and a little determination— Hey, wanna know how long you all were there before you started resorting to cannibalism—?"

"No," Ford said before Dipper had to. "And I'll thank you not to get off topic to try to give my gnephew more nightmares."

Bill shot him a sideways glance. "Remind me to tell you about the time pocket formed by all the timelines where you and Specs did your first portal test without checking your math."

"So if I wasn't even supposed to meet him—how did I see him today?" Dipper asked. "Did he pull me out of my body into the mindscape so we could talk, or...? But he didn't even tell me anything, was he just trying to get me to remember meeting him in the terminated timeline—?"

"He wasn't trying to do anything," Bill said. "He wasn't here for you, he didn't care. Shadow on the wall."

"Then what was he here for? You?"

It took Bill too long to answer. He just shrugged vaguely. "Probably not."

"Huh." Instead of questioning Bill, Dipper briefly turned introspective himself, gaze far away and thoughtful. "I think I remember a little more about meeting the Axolotl now. The first time, I mean."

"Oh, do you?" Bill asked. "Ha! Poor kid."

"Mabel and I were in some kind of rocket car?" Dipper's brows furrowed in concentration. "And the Axolotl had a... bean bag chair?"

Bill scoffed. "He still has that old thing?! Wow."

"It was really comfortable."

"It's also really tacky."

"You talked about him like he was some kind of... of big... eldritch cosmic horror thing," Dipper said. "What kind of a cosmic horror has bean bag chairs?"

"What, do you think being a vast multidimensional amphibious monstrosity with an incomprehensible mind and a body that can only been seen in lower dimensions as grotesque shapeshifting cross-sections protects you from having bad taste? He'll flay your sanity straight out of your gray matter—and you won't even have the comfort of knowing your mind-shredder had nice interior decor sensibilities!"

"I can sympathize with the experience," Ford muttered. "I was driven to the brink of paranoid madness by a nightmare demon who thinks Doric columns go with checkerboard flooring."

Bill let out a shrill "Ha!" and smacked Ford's shoulder.

"But he remembered me when we met," Dipper went on. "He told me to say hi to Mabel. And—the last time we met, we—talked. I don't remember it all yet, but... you were wrong about him. There was nothing insanity-inducing about him. He was just... nice."

"You don't think the madness sets in all at once, do you?" Bill turned back to Dipper, with an air of what Ford uncomfortably felt like was ill intent. "Go on then—what did you talk about? You can't remember it, can you? Why not? Just a harmless little conversation, right?"

Dipper frowned in thought. "There was something important, but—I can't remember what it was. What was it?" He muttered, "I know it was something important—"

"And there we go!" Bill gestured at Dipper with a flourish, triumphant. "Now you're digging for the significance of the whole thing. You're trying to comprehend the motives of something that has a state of existence your mind wasn't built to understand! You'll either go mad trying to understand his motives—or you'll go mad because you do understand. You're doomed now, kid—this is gonna haunt you for the rest of your days." He laughed. "Try to stop thinking about it now while you're ahead!"

"I'm not going insane," Dipper said. "Just shut up, I'm trying to remember."

"'I'm not obsessed, I swear! I can stop thinking about it any time I want!' Sure."

"Shut up," Dipper repeated. "It had to have been something important! Otherwise why would he dragged me out of my body and—and shown me the fourth dimension just so I could meet him?"

"Don't sound so self-important! You never saw the fourth dimension; if you had, you wouldn't think he looks like an axolotl. He visited this dimension's mindscape," Bill said. "And he didn't even mean to drag you into the mindscape! It was just a side-effect of his gravitational pull. He tugged you toward him just like everything else in town; but Earth'sgravity doesn't extend through planes like the mindscape, and his does. Yanked your spirit right out of your body."

"Then why was I the only one?" Dipper demanded. "Why didn't you or Grunkle Ford leave your bodies?"

"Your spirit's more loosely attached to your body than ours."

"Why?!"

For a moment, Bill's face twisted with displeasure; and then he sighed in resignation. "Ah, heck with it. You've been astral projecting."

Dipper's mouth worked uselessly. He croaked, "What?"

"It's when you—"

"I know what it is! I mean—what? How? When?"

"At least as long as I've been here. How long have you been having those out-of-body dreams?"

"Y—!" Dipper socked Bill's arm. Bill didn't even flinch. "You said those were nightmares!"

"And I lied," Bill said tiredly.

"Why?!"

"Thought you'd be annoying about it."

"I've been dealing with this all year, you—!" Dipper groaned in aggravation. "Why am I astral projecting! I wasn't trying to learn or anything!"

"How should I know, I wasn't around. Best guess, I think I ripped up the Velcro sticking your soul to your body when I yanked you out to puppet it," Bill said. "Oops."

Dipper gaped at him in outrage. "'Oops'?! That's all you can— I've been terrified and I thought it was a nightmare and it was real all along and it was all your fault and you won't even—"

"I knew you'd be annoying."

"I'm annoying?! How would you like it if you'd spent a year getting dragged out of your body in your sleep—!"

Bill abruptly stopped walking, turned toward Dipper, and said with an intensity that startled Dipper into silence, "You don't have the slightest idea how much I'd like it. How would you like it if you'd been trying for weeks t—" Bill cut himself off before he could get more heated; and instead, only said, "If you. Wanted to get out of your body. And couldn't. And some brat down the hall is doing it without even trying."

Dipper remained frozen, jaw locked tight in a grimace, until Bill turned away and trudged on. Dipper snapped, "But I don't want to do it. And it's your fault I am."

"Great. Nobody's satisfied." Bill sighed. "Make the most of it. Watch late night TV. Learn to meditate or something, I don't care. You've got nothing to worry about, it's harmless." He paused. "As long as nothing else crawls in your body while you're outside of it."

"WHAT?!"

"It's fine. Nothing'll get you in the shack through the unicorn hair barri... hm. Well—you're safe in the shack."

"But I have to go home at the end of summer! Will something be able to get me then?!"

Bill shrugged. "Hypothetically."

"Am I gonna die?!"

"Given my understanding of human mortality? Sure, sooner or later. Wanna hear your top five most likely causes of death?"

"No! Is it possible to—to stop? Can I control the astral projecting?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess. Ask me next time you're out of your body. I'll show you"

"Can't you show me n—"

"No. Not while you're in your body."

Dipper scowled. "Fine! Next time I'm projecting, I'm kicking you awake until you help me." He turned away from Bill; and, after a moment of fuming, mumbled to himself, "If I've been astral projecting... then that time I visited the neighbors... oh, man..." He trailed off, getting lost in his own thoughts.

Keeping silent during that discussion had been agony for Ford.

Every few seconds, he'd wanted to butt in either to eagerly ask for more information about the Axolotl or astral projection, or—far more often—to express his rage on Dipper's behalf, that Bill (of course!) had put him through this, and then not even had the decency (of course!) to try to rectify it.

But it was Dipper's conversation. It was about Dipper's problem, and anyway Dipper had been trying so long to pry some sort of useful information out of Bill—it would be cruel of Ford to snatch the conversation away from him when he was finally getting somewhere. He'd have a lot to discuss with Dipper once they were home and could get away from Bill.

But staying outside the conversation had let him observe three points he might have otherwise missed.

One: Bill really wasn't himself. Back when he'd been playing as Ford's muse, whenever he got to answer questions, he'd always done it with an air of theatricality and barely-suppressed glee; and after he'd given up that act, he'd answered questions with smug arrogance, the glee turned to sadistic delight at the bad news he could deliver. Now, he simply answered them. Even his attempts to be condescending gradually got less enthusiastic until they petered out completely.

Two: Bill was answering questions he never would have answered that morning. After telling them as little as he could about the thing coming to Gravity Falls, even trying to avoid admitting it was the Axolotl, now he was freely talking about the Axolotl's taste in furniture as though he knew the beast personally. After hiding that Dipper was astral projecting for over a month, he simply told him. Heck with it. He'd admitted it was probably his fault. He'd said the last two words Ford had ever thought he'd hear come out of Bill's mouth: I lied.

Three: this was the longest Bill had walked without needing a break all day. His voice was stronger. His steps were more steady. Ford had even seen him squeeze out a few dollops of astronaut paste between comments—and he struggled to make himself swallow, but he didn't gag.

And now that Dipper had stopped asking him about the Axolotl and about astral projection, Bill's footing was growing less certain again. He wove unsteadily on the path and had to pause to lean a hand on a stalactite, taking deep breaths. "Gimme a second."

Bill was distracting himself. He was keeping himself going through conversation, the simple ritual of receiving and answering questions. Ford understood: sometimes, in desperate circumstances, you had to burn yourself out to get somewhere safe enough to collapse and recover. When you had no choice but to push yourself, the best thing you could do was think about anything but your exhausted, failing body. It made it easier to keep moving and burn through what energy you had left.

Ford had once wondered if his "muse" was some manner of creature that was compelled to answer the questions his protégés asked him. This was perhaps the closest Bill had ever gotten to actually being such an entity: answering questions because he had to to go on, and willing to give away almost anything as long as it kept him moving.

Ford stopped next to Bill. "So. The Axolotl was the source of your 'gravitational eclipse,' I suppose."

"Astute observation," Bill said flatly.

"I take it that it isn't 'eclipsing' gravity so much as canceling it out. The Axolotl must have a mass similar to Earth's, if the force it exerts flying by above us is nearly identical to the force of Earth below us."

"More or less."

"But according to Dipper's observations, this Axolotl is only the size of Oregon at most. Did he underestimate its size? Or perhaps it's incredibly dense...?"

Bill gave Ford a sharp sideways glance. Were this any other conversation on any other day, this would be when the gloating started. Well, well, well, look who finally believes I was telling the truth, finally crawling back to me to give you all the answers you can't find yourself— But Bill only looked away again, pushed himself back upright, and kept walking. "You're the square looking at the sphere and thinking it's a circle," Bill said. "The majority of the Axolotl's mass is in dimensions you can't see. The little bit of him that's visible in the mindscape is just a... a feeler. Or an anglerfish's lure. The rest of him is close enough to exert a gravitational pull—but not in a dimension you can see."

"Which dimensions does he exist in?"

"I can't tell you because your species knows so little about them that the answer wouldn't mean anything. You haven't even decided whether or not you want to officially call the dimension that time shines from the 'fourth' dimension—I could tell you he comes from the seventeenth dimension and it wouldn't mean anything but an impressively high number to you."

Dubiously, Ford asked, "Does he come from the seventeenth?"

Bill waved a hand vaguely. "Heck if I know. The most I've ever seen at once is nine, and I was on a lot of psychedelics at the time. My eyeball popped."

"Eugh." 

"Worth it, though. If you ever wanna feel cosmically insignificant in the most breathtakingly beautiful way possible, and you don't mind going blind, let me know. I think I can remember most of what I was on."

"Pass," Ford said. "If the Axolotl is so enormous, then why was only Gravity Falls affected by its gravity? At a minimum, shouldn't have the rest of the Pacific Northwest been impacted—if not the whole planet?"

"He wasn't near the rest of the Pacific Northwest. In the third dimension, Gravity Falls is obviously connected to Oregon; but in higher dimensions, it's..." He tried unsuccessfully to pantomime something mountainlike. "Imagine if the second dimension were a flat sheet of stretchy fabric. If somebody plucked the fabric up in the middle and made a peak, a creature living on the surface of the fabric would still be able to travel across its slope like it was flat, right?"

Ford tried to visualize Bill's description. "Right."

"And so if a fly flew past the peak of the fabric, it'd cross near whatever town's at that peak without getting near the towns at the bottom of the slope."

"Rrright."

"That's what Gravity Falls looks like from the fourth dimension," Bill said. "In the third dimension you can't see anything, but to fourth dimensional beings it sticks out of the fabric of spacetime like a thousand mile high pillar in the middle of a desert. That's why Time Baby put his capitol here."

Now, Ford wasn't sure that sounded right, but he didn't know enough about the seventeenth-or-whatever dimension to dispute it. "And why you kept trying to punch through to our dimension from here?" he guessed. "I imagine stretching the fabric of spacetime that far might make it easier to tear."

Bill shot him a sour look, but didn't deny it.

"Why did the gravity go down slowly for two days and then come back all at once? Did the Axolotl just leave faster than it came?"

"You know how the Doppler effect works?"

Ford hesitated. "Yes. Obviously."

"Well, in higher dimensions, gravity works like a reverse Doppler effect. It spreads out in front of a moving object—"

"Oh, come on."

"—and compresses behind the object—"

"Now you're just making up scientific-sounding nonsense because you know I can't disprove it."

"I'm not, and as soon as you get me a pen and paper I can prove it." Loftily, Bill said, "There's a simple equation that can explain higher dimensional gravity."

Ford was pretty sure he was being made fun of. He didn't mean to laugh, but he did. Dipper looked at him like he'd lost his mind; but trying to explain what was so funny would probably just make him look more insane.

Bill looked nearly as surprised.

####

"... And the smaller axolotls, what are they—heralds, worshipers? Children?"

Bill scoffed in disgust, "I don't know, I've never asked him. I see them like the flies orbiting a cow's tail. They migrate with him, that's all I know."

"Then the Axolotl really was just 'migrating'?"

"Well. Migrating in the sense that a mayfly watching a human walk back and forth to the office thinks it must be 'migrating.' He has..." Bill gestured vaguely, "duties, that mandate he travel fixed routes through the multiverse. He just happens to have a years-long workday. His commute doesn't usually take him past 46'\."

"'Duties' as in... divine duties?"

"It depends on if you worship him for doing them. I don't."

The cavern was growing light again, and the distant waterfall was audible. Ford quietly sighed in relief. Even as oddly forthcoming as Bill had been, Ford doubted that even two-thirds of the information he'd shared was true. But it was hard to tell. It had always been hard to tell.

Dipper helped Ford deflate the raft and pack it up. As he did, he said, voice low, "Is it just me, or is Bill kinda...?"

Ford cast a sideways glance across the cavern. Bill was crouched in front of the geodite he'd carried all up and down the tunnel, backpack in his lap, pouring a pile of soggy cereal onto the ground for the geodite to eat. Ford was surprised he'd gotten so attached to the creature. "I think he's been in some state of mental shock since the fall in the lake," Ford said. "And it seems he hasn't been able to keep down a full meal since we left yesterday. I suspect he's barely on his feet. The sooner we can get him back to the shack, the better."

"Oh." Dipper frowned toward Bill. (He was now pouring cold medicine on the cereal. Ford would have to ask him about geodite diets.)

"What are you thinking?"

Dipper shook his head. "I just thought... He seems like he's thinking about something. And he's giving so much away... I don't know. I wanted him to talk, but now it makes me wonder if he's scheming something."

From what Ford had seen, at the moment he doubted Bill could so much as scheme a way to ruin a picnic. But now he was second-guessing his perception. Ford knew Bill better than anyone; but that also meant Bill knew how to manipulate Ford better than anyone. What was Dipper seeing that he didn't? "Really? Do you think so?"

Dipper hesitated. "I—thought so? Maybe not." (Well, now they were both second-guessing themselves.) "I just don't know why he'd tell us so much if he isn't up to something. It feels like a distraction."

"Ah." Ford nodded. "I think the distraction is for himself."

"Mm." (Ford wasn't sure if Dipper had heard him.) "I just feel like there's—something. I can feel it in the back of my head." He stared at Bill a moment longer; then shook his head and turned away. "Maybe it's not him, maybe it's the Axolotl. He said something I can't remember. Something about degrees."

"Degrees?"

But Dipper didn't reply. He'd returned to his work, lost in his own head, mumbling under his breath the way he did whenever he was trying to work something out. Something else for Ford to ask about later.

When they got in Tate's loaned motorboat to head back out, Dipper got a look at the rainbow trout slippers Bill had put back on, and let out a choked laugh of surprise; and then that was the last sound any of them made as they crossed the lake. Ford steered, Dipper remained lost in his own thoughts, and Bill stared at his friendship bracelet, thumb running around the glass evil eyes.

####

(Finally a few mysteries solved! I hope y'all enjoyed, and I look forward to hearing what you think. Next week is another emotionally wrenching chapter!!)

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 6: "It's good to be back!"

Dipper POV

I wake up with a splitting headache. I groan as I sit up, pressing and rubbing my fits against the temples of my forehead. I swing my legs off my bed and hiss out in pain from moving to fast.

"Damnit....Bill.." I said while standing up and leaning against the wall for support. "My head...hurts so much."

I hear Bill laugh before he speaks. "Sorry, pinetree, I couldn't help myself. Seeing the fear in those meatsacks' eyes brought so much joy!"

I tense from his shouting. "Please...no screaming." I beg while slowly walking to the restroom next door to my room.

"Right, you had a pretty memorable night, huh?" Bill chuckles.

I take off my t-shirt and sweat pants, turning on the shower to warm water setting. I step inside, letting out a sigh as my tense body slowly relaxes. I lower my body underneath the showerhead, humming to the feeling of the warm water running down my body and soothing my headache.

"Yes, but enough with games. My plan is to bring you back today, but I can't think of who my last sacrifice will be."

"Haha, oh come on, pinetree. I'm sure there's someone out there who's stupid enough to get close to you -"

Bill is cut off by the sound of the bathroom door opening. "Oh! Oops, my bad dude. Didn't know anyone was in here." I hear Soos say.

I sigh heavily, pushing my wet hair from my face. I peek my head out of the shower currant. "So you're saying you didn't hear the water running through the door?"

Soos shrugs his shoulders. "Nope! But I'll wait until you're done. See ya later, dude." He said while walking out.

A smirk plays its way onto my lips as I pull my head back under the showerhead. "I think I found the idiot I can lead to their death...hehe." I chuckle while washing my hair and body.

"I forgot all about good old question mark! This is going to be hilarious to watch playout! Hahaha!" Bill laughs.

"Indeed." I said as I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower.

I wrap a towel around my waist and walk to my room. I open the door and walk inside, locking it behind myself. I drop the towel while walking to my dresser and pull out black shorts and a black tank top along with some boxers.

I dry my body, putting on my clothes. I place the towel on top of my head, and I walk down the stairs. I raise an eyebrow at everyone. No one's in the kitchen, but everyone is in the living room.

"Uh, why is everyone..." I trail off while walking into the living room. I look at the tv blankly. The news is on.

"A crazed serial killer is still on the lose. The bodies that were found and identified as Robert Stacey Valebtino, Tambry, Susan Wentworth, and Pacifica Elias Northwest. The police haven't figured out a clear motive nor how the murders could possibly be linked. I'm Jessica Jimenez, leaving a warning: be at home before sunset, lock your doors and possibly your windows, and stay safe. And now for the weather -"

Stan turns the Tv off to comfort a crying Wendy and Mable. Ford, however, is taking notes on his notepad, possibly writing everything the reporter stated. I sigh, walking over to Wendy, rubbing my hand up and down her back.

"Ahahahaha! Look at all the chaos and fear you put into those meatsacks! So proud of you, pinetree!" Bill cheers.

I feel my cheeks begin to heat up at Bill's words. I shake my head at the sound of Ford's voice. Everyone turns their attention to him.

"Stan and I will be leaving to hunt down this killer. My thoughts are that whoever is doing this has found out how to summon Bill."

Everyone's eyes widen at the mention of Bill, but my eyes hold shock for a different reason. "Just how did Ford figure it out? The deaths aren't linked in anyway....Unless he's referring to me killing two members of the cipher wheel." I thought to myself.

"What makes you think that grunlke Ford?" I question out loud.

"This killer only needs one more life to take. The fact that this killer killed two members of the cipher will speak for itself. So, in order to prevent such a thing from happening, Stan and I will find this killer and turn him or her over to the police."

Everyone nods their head in understanding as the two prepare to leave. "And no one is allowed to leave for any reason. Do I make myself clear?" Stan said rather sternly.

I sigh heavily while everyone else nods. They walk out the front door, leaving Wendy, Soos, Mable, and me.

"Soooooooo....duck detective?"

Wendy drys her tears and stands up. "I c-can't right now....I have to plan h-his funeral." She whispers, her voice cracking.

"And I have to talk with Candy and Grenda like we promised." Mable said while standing up and walking into her room.

"Oh...alright." Soos said sadly.

I watch as the two leave with a smirk on my lips. I glance at Soos as I stand. "Hey Soos, remember how we used to be dino bros?" I ask.

"Yeah, dude! It was so much fun....you know before the fight we had and almost being killed -"

"Right, right. How would you like to be killer hunters?"

"That would be awesome! It's been a while since I've been on an adventure."

"You didn't understand what I asked. Would you like to come with me to find the killer? Stan and Ford are too old to do it alone."

"Uh...I don't know, man, Stan did say not to leave no matter what." Soos points out with uncertainty.

"Oh come oooon Soos! They'll thank us for catching them!" I answer back.

"Well....if you say so! I trust you, Dipper."

"Great! Just let me get a few things, and we'll be on our way." I said while turning to leave the room.

"Hehe, things just got interesting.", Bill hums.

I chuckle while walking up the stairs to my room. "They have...yes they have."

■■■■

Mable POV

I sigh as I lay back in my bed, petting waddles with my good hand. I still can't believe that Dipper did that to me....he changed ever since that day. I blame myself for everything....I was drunk and just wanted to be cool. I can never forgive myself for that.

I sit up, hearing the door open to my room. It's Wendy. She's been down and out since Robbie was killed. She mentioned how he never came home last night but didn't think too much of it. I always thought Robbie and Tembery would last....I wonder what happened.

"Hey, uh Mable, have you seen dipper? I want him to look after the shack while I make a quick run. Soos isn't here either, so...." She trialed on.

"Huh?! But Stan said not to leave....should we tell them?"

She shrugs, "eh maybe...I'm sure they're safe."

But I don't believe it. Something feels off... really off. Dipper is different, far darker than he was back then. I never knew that he got the Cipher wheel on his back...I would sometimes hear him whispering in his room in the middle of the night. I don't know if it's me or the Mable juice, but Dipper isn't... dipper.

I hear Stan and Ford enter my room with a strange expression.....fear? "Grunlke Stan? Grunlke Ford? What's the matter?"

"No time to explain. Where's Dipper and Soos? We looked all over the shake but couldn't find them. We were hoping they were in here..." Ford said while nervously looking around my room.

"I don't know. I saw them walking into the forest through the window, just thought they were going to help you two find the murderer." I point out while smiling.

"Uh kid... we already know who the murderer is." Stan said in disbelief.

"Well, say it, old man." Wendy said in an impatient tone.

"Dipper. He's the killer." Ford finally said, his voice full of dread.

Wendy laughs as if it was a joke, but the look on my grunlkes faces says it all. The feeling in my chest grew heavier. How could my twin brother..be a killer?

I feel tears fill my eyes as I stare down at my broken wrist. "Wh-what makes you think that -"

"No time to explain! Get ready. We are leaving now before it's too late."

"What do you mean?" Wendy questions warily.

"Before Dipper brings back Bill."

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Dipper POV

As we get closer and closer to Bill's stature, the wider my smile becomes. So close...so so close...

"Aye dude, where are we going?" Soos asks while glancing around. "Isn't this where that Bill guy stature is?"

I turn around and chuckle, my vision flashing to yellow. "Yes. Yes, it is."

I can sense the fear coming off of Soos. It only makes my excitement grow. We approach his stature. I see tree veins wrapped all around his poor stature. I groan at the sight but smile as I hear Soos backing away from me.

"I don't know about this man. Dipper, I think w-we should head back..."

I chuckle, my chuckles changing to laughs, my voice becoming mixed with Bill's. "Sorry, question mark! But pinetree has other things planned."

I drop my bag, pulling out a pistol I took from my father before leaving for gravity falls. I turn around, aiming the gun right in between his eyes. "Dino bros... yeah, sure, when I was twelve. But things are different now....very different. Think about it this way! Your sacrifice will soon bring me happiness!"

Soos eyes begin to fill with tears, which only makes me laugh more. "Dipper, you can't do this, dude! Wh-what about your family?...you can't do this to us!"

"Family?....Bill is my only family." I frown before shooting him, killing him instantly.

I watch his eyes roll back as blood spats on my face. I place my gun back into my bag, picking up Bill's stature and placing it in the middle of an open space. I pull out a can of blue spray paint, drawing a huge circle around it. I then draw a star, the corners over the star with circles on the tips. I reach back into my back for the jars and 5 candles and a lighter.

I quickly place the jars and candles inside the circles on the tips of the star. I quickly open each jar, lighting up the candles. I watch as the red flame quickly turns blue. I stand before my art, my hard work finally paying off.

My smile disappears as I hear my name being called. I ignore it, holding my arms in the air as the palms of my hands glow with blue flames. "L-T-O-L-O-X-A! His time has come to rise! I invoke the ancient power that Bill has returned!!" I shout to the top of my lungs as my body begins to float from the ground.

"We're too late...." I hear Ford whisper in grief.

I watch as Bill's stature begins to float from the ground as the souls merge with it. The sky darkens, and reality freezes, turning to black and white. A bright yellow glow comes from the stature, causing everyone's eyes to shut tightly. Once everything settles down, I'm greeted by the voice I've yearned to hear from outside my head after all these years.

"Oh, gravity falls, it is good to be back! What is this? The second time?"

[crows-in-the-house]

Disillusioned

Summary : (this statement by @/exodusin) / Mabel finds you in Bills penthause but instead of escaping with her, you show her your true colors. And your new husband, Bill.

pairing: Bill Cipher x gn! evil! reader

tw: none, tell me if i should add

Mabel couldn't find Dipper. For twenty minutes she's been running around Bills piramid only to get the demon further away from her Grunkles. That worked out. Kinda. Now she couldn't find a way back and had him running after her and her brother. And now she lost him! She really hoped he was fine. Hearing a booming sound she turned to another corridor. This one was looking... different?

It was smaller and narrow, as if the walls were about to crush her trying to protect something further. On the end of it, she found grand traingle doors. She really hoped whatever was inside would be harmless enough to let her rest a second. She opened them, coming into a big luxurious room. It looked like some sort of a penthouse with an expensive cauch, a fireplace, chandelier and a-

"Oh! Mabel, hi!" - Wait, what? It was you! Y/N her cool older friend, the one who helped her out in numerous adventures, and the one who vanished, just some time before the start of Weirdmaggedon! She could't belive her own eyes!

"Y/N? What are you doing here! Has Bill kidnapped you and inprisoned? We were so worried!" The girl rushed to hug you. "We need to go! Bill is-"

"Go? Oh Mabes, why would we go anywhere?"

She took a step back. You looked the same as always. Just maybe more elegant? Her tired mind desperately searched for the explanation for the weird feeling she had right now.

"Y/N... what... what have you been doing since the start of Weirdmaggedon?"

"Oh, well, I was sitting here " you gestured around the luxurious room. You didn't seem to be panicked at all. Have you get used to the situation? " I've been quite bored, but overall I'm fine, really! I'm glad you're here to visit!"

"Visit? No! I'm here to defeat Bill! Have you seen what he did to the town? To the people?!"

Despite your face being frozen on a smile something in your eyes changed. You didn't answer immiediately, stepping back to a table nearby, pouring yourself a drink. You talked slowly, as if you were soothing a panicked animal cought in a trap.

"Oh yes. Trully a work of art. It took time to design all of this you know? Do you have a favorite part?"

She felt her stomach drop. She misheard you right? O-or you're just acting! Or under some weird demonic enchantment, you wouldn't say such a thing, right?

You smirked tilting your head. " Well... in my opinion, the top three things would be... hmm, the walking water tower - I know, I know, a boring choice, but it walks very funny and-

"Y/N, listen-" you ignored her, continuing as she wasn't even there "- the second would be bubbles, very creative, colorful and fun, you know? Especially yours, it was so cute it made me a bit jealous! It's a shame I didn't get to visit tho. Yes I know, sorry, don't look at me like that, I will do that next time ok? Now! Drumrolls! the first place goes toooo-"

You looked at her as if wanting her to guess. In response she gave you a mixed look. It seemed like you clearly needed some help, but there was no time to sit around.

"I dont know, what is it?"

" ME " she jumped quickly pointing a grappling hook at the intruder. It was Bill, again in his yellow tamer form, standing awfuly close to you and holing-

" Dipper!"

"Nu-uh Shooting star! You're not playing with that toy anymore!"

At the snap of his fingers her weapon dissapeared. He grabbed her and before Mabel could move she found herself in the same hand where Dipper was trapped in. But you? You just stood there.

"Y/N! Help us!" her brother shauted. You only responded with a piting look in your eyes. Until your attention moved over to the demon getting closer.

"Hey toots! Check this out - a pegasus dropped it off today!" he handed you a card. From where the twins where placed they could see a drawing of the pyramid and a short text which Bill read out laud:

"It's a "I missed you, B.", and yes, it's me, I'm the B, also there was no pegasus, also there was me."

He blinked at you.

You gasped and smiled, your cheeks got darker and your hands tauched where your heart was supposed to be.

"Oh Billy! You're such a romantic!"

Dipper looked at you with disdtain "You just didn't say that."

"Oh but they did! That's my spouse after all!" you both laughed at shocked faces of the children. It was funny how none of the Pines realised they had a traitor among them. Now everything started to make sense. How you claimed to love spending time in the shack. How your face always lingered on Dippers journal. How you never smiled at Stanford but was always calming him down after a fight with his broher. How they all could always count on you, to take care of the kids on their silly adventures.

"How could you!" Mabel felt her eyes getting watery. She really liked you. She trusted you!

You shrugged lightly smiling. " Oh dear, don't be sad, it was always the plan. I'm sorry you have to be entangled in all of this"

"No you're not."

"Ha. True, I'm not. You know me so well kid."

"Why. Why did you do all of this? We were friends-"

"Oh HA HA HA, they already have friends kid! And money, fame, riches, infinite power! And the handsome ol' me! What else would they need?"

"An entire world to rule?" - You kissed Bills eye while handing him a drink "Oh, and I don't want you to take it the wrong way, you know? But i hate you. I thought I could get over it. But I feel sooo tired. And it's just the time to split up! I mean, honestly, you and your grunkles had lot's of chances to get to the right side of history but you decided not to. Now you pay. Tell my thanks to Ford, I would never meet the love of my life, if not for his stupidity." your smile dropped.

"Y/N you can still fix this!"

"As if!" Bills form grew larger while he opened the door "See you sweetcheeks, I will get that equasion in no time! Gotta disassemble some kids molecules!"

You stayed there smiling, waving back at Bill.

That was the last time they saw you.