Things End | People Change - Natural Instinct
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taglist: @whumpsday @whumpycries @whumpwillow @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @whumpshaped @suspicious-whumping-egg @chibichibivale @melancholy-in-the-morning @zillastar13
content: whumper turned whumpee, vampire whumpee, bad caretaker, references to torture (sensory deprivation and sun burning), starvation, begging, muzzled whumpee, dehumanisation
Clary's feeding him now.
Well, maybe that's a stretch. She's still keeping her distance, and Cai is still the one that removes the muzzle, but she's there, and that she's even worked up the courage to be there means the world to Vincent.
She knows it, too, and it makes her avoid acknowledging him at all. She goes down, she stands there, and she goes back up. And it makes him so happy.
Clary screams into a pillow. She hates him, she does, for ripping her away from the world and making her terrified to even step out onto the porch at sunset. She saw exactly what the hunters did to him and she has a violent urge to do it all to him, a thousand times worse. Chain him up and make him scream for mercy.
But he would do it and thank her, and that's the part she can't stand.
Because nobody should ever suffer so deeply that they'll thank you for the pain?
No, it's because she wanted to make him that way. Not anyone else. She wanted to break him down to this shell and then keep breaking. Didn't she? Doesn't she?
She feels dizzy.
Cai raps her nightstand and tries to offer her a smile when she looks up. "I'm going to feed him. Coming along?"
Clary sighs, and nods.
Vincent is somehow beginning to look worse. Clary thinks it's that he's fed - his newer injuries have bled a little, and she isn't sure Vincent knows that she's noticed it. He's bruised, too, around the wrists and throat and ankles. Vampires need blood to heal, same as a human, they just do it much faster.
Cai's figured out that he can thread a straw through the basket muzzle so that he doesn't have to take it off, and something about that nags at Clary, but she ignores it. This is what she wanted.
"Thank you," Vincent says, half-smiling.
She watches him, the way he holds and drops the bag. Better than anyone she knows Vincent can't control his strength, and he's been progressively clutching it tighter, leaving marks in the plastic. He's not so weak anymore. She finds herself unable to be afraid even so.
"Cai, I want to be alone with him," she says.
Her brother turns towards her. "What?"
Vincent freezes. This is it. This has to be it. She's finally realised that he wouldn't dare fight back and she can do whatever she wants to him. At least there's warning. A moment of preparation. Unlike the hunters, where they deprived him of his senses until he didn't even have the privilege of hearing their footsteps coming towards him.
"Just go, I'll be fine," Clary says.
"I'm cuffing him," Cai signs sharply.
"I don't need you babying me," Clary replies. "Go."
"I'm not-" Cai groans and takes a deep breath. "Please. It's for your safety."
"I'm perfectly fucking safe!" Clary snaps, then shuts her eyes and clenches her fists when Cai recoils. "You've been getting close to him for days and he hasn't done a thing. This is my trauma. I get to handle it how I want."
Cai hesitates. "I know. I'll… go."
Vincent whimpers when Cai turns back, and shakes him by the collar of his shirt.
"Hurt her and you won't even be able to beg when I'm done with you," Cai hisses. "Got it?"
Clary seems annoyed, but she doesn't step in. Vincent nods, and Cai lets go.
They're alone. She's alone with Vincent.
"Is he outside?" she asks.
"H-Huh?"
"Cai. Is he outside the door? You can hear him, I know you can."
Vincent listens. He's gotten used to the sound of Cai's heartbeat. He nods.
"So if you do anything, he'll know."
"I understand," Vincent says. "B-But I won't. I promise you, I won't even touch you."
She stands there, for what seems like a long time, saying absolutely nothing. Vincent shifts on his knees and she flinches. He keeps still after that.
"How did you get caught?" she says, and it's quiet, but it sounds loud in this room.
"I was careless," Vincent mumbles. "I picked one off a group. It was my bad luck that they were a group of hunters."
Clary scoffs. "Don't be stupid. You think I'm gonna believe that?"
"It's the truth."
She searches him, for any sign that he's making it up to seem weaker than he really is, but she can't sense it in the slightest. He attacked a group. Why would he even contemplate it?
She takes a step closer. "Why did you keep asking for me?"
"I missed you."
"Like hell you missed me," she growls, and he flinches. "You left me to die and you wanna say you missed me?!"
"I'm sorry!" Vincent whimpers, and presses his forehead to the floor. "I know, I know I'm awful, I shouldn't have done that to you, I'm sorry--"
"Shut up!"
Vincent digs his nails into his palms but he keeps his mouth shut.
"You abandoned me!" Clary snaps. "You got bored of me and left me bleeding out in the woods and you expect-- you expect what?!"
"...C-Clary, I didn't…" That isn't what happened, is it? Vincent doesn't remember clearly. "I wasn't bored of you. That's not what happened."
"Don't just tell me that's not what happened," Clary snarls.
"I d-don't… remember. I'm sorry. I should remember, I'm so sorry." Vincent can hear her getting closer. "But I didn't… I didn't want to. I never wanted to."
"I was a plaything to you."
"No, you weren't," Vincent whispers. "I'm sorry, I know I… I used you, but you were always a person. Even when I said you weren't. I didn't mean it, I-- you were everything to me, Clary. You still are. I wouldn't lie to you, not now, please."
There's no way she should believe him.
He holds up his hands, keeps his head on the floor. "I-If you want to hurt me, I'll… I'll bleed, now. If you want that. Is that what you were waiting for?"
He sounds almost fucking hopeful. He clearly doesn't actually want to feel pain, she can tell that much. But he does want her to hurt him. He's practically desperate for her to hurt him.
"Just… get up," she mutters. "Stop doing that. You look like an idiot."
Vincent sits up, forcing himself to do it slowly. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
She kicks him in the chest, more out of blind frustration than anything. It doesn't hurt that much, but Vincent whimpers like it does. He's gotten good at that. Screaming louder than normal, whining on purpose, begging incoherently when he could easily form the words please and no and stop. Sometimes it made them stop sooner. Mostly it did nothing, but it was worth trying, because it made them smile in that skin-crawling way and tell him he was taking it so well, bloodsucker, maybe I'll only leave you in the sun for an hour instead of two and he could hope.
Vincent jumps when Clary's hand is placed on his cheek.
"I-I'm sorry, I'll stay still," he murmurs.
Clary doesn't reply. She's shaking, of course she's shaking, but he keeps his mouth shut, regardless of the muzzle. Is she going to slap him again? That's surely far less than he deserves.
Her hand creeps behind his head. Her eyes are locked to him. Watching like a hawk. He doesn't move. He stares straight ahead.
He feels her pulling at the muzzle, and then it falls from his face onto the floor. He wants to stare up at her, but he tenses and forces himself to be still.
Her wrist is in front of his face.
"Nnh!" Vincent opens his mouth on instinct and promptly shuts it. Her pulse, he can see and hear and almost feel her pulse under her skin. He never once fed from her wrist, but he has a few times in years past, and he's sure he could do it.
Vincent tries to pull back, but Clary holds her wrist up against his lips and his teeth scrape her skin and he could drink human blood again if he just pierced her skin and took it.
Animal blood is not enough. It will keep him from starving, but just a little human blood will make him feel almost alive.
Clary watches. Clary says nothing.
"C-Clary," he whines. "Clary, please, it-- can I? Please, can I? Please, please. Only a little. P-Please."
Permission. He wants permission from her. Clary grits her teeth. She wanted him to take it, to prove that he's exactly how he is in her fractured memories.
Vincent didn't change. His captivity just brought one side to the forefront, the side of Vincent that cried as he held her, that brought her almost anything she asked for in an attempt to make her happy, that might have even cared, if Vincent was capable of doing that, if she believed Vincent was capable of doing that.
"I hate you," she hisses.
Vincent lets out another soft whimper as Clary locks the door. Was that a test? But she acted as though he failed by not feeding from her. Did she want him to? Surely not.
He brings his knees to his chest and hides his face in them. Was it because he begged? Was it because he considered doing it at all?
Natural instinct is no excuse. He should've been better than that, after all of this, after all of this pain. It wasn't enough. It might never be enough, but he'll happily submit. He won't be a monster. Not ever again.
He clutches the muzzle. He doesn't know how to tie it, but he presses it to his face, and holds it there. He won't bite. Please, he won't bite.
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