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[chitaquahq]

Biggest difference between Endverse Dean and Dean is that Endverse Dean might have way more experience living on that universe— but if there is one single weapon on the battlefield, you can bet Dean will find it and use it.

When it comes to the heart of it, Endverse Dean needed a weapon, he needed someone to be his weapon or a physical object, he needed an army because he stopped believing in himself. He was defeated, he wanted to go back in time and give himself to Michael, he put all his faith on the Colt.

In contrast, Dean is a weapon. His actions have repercussions that change the story because he has a choice and that choice matters. He trusted his judgement when he said that there must be another way, one that didn't involve saying yes to Michael. When the Colt failed him, when Sam said yes to Lucifer, Dean went to a battlefield without a weapon. Cas and Bobby only gave him time, so Dean could fall on his knees and talk to his brother until it gave Sam the strength to cage Lucifer.

He did that with words alone.

When Cas met Dean, he thought he had no faith. It isn't quite true, it's just that his faith is not on some god or bug plan. Dean's faith is impossible to escape, it's all consuming and empowering, it's a world on its own. Dean believes in Sam, in Cas, in Bobby. Then he arrived to the Endverse and he deployed that faith in Chitaqua and Ichabod.

Incredibly fucking dangerous because he knows he only need one chance and it'll be over. One slip, one opening: that's how he killed Zachariah. Bring a weapon and he'll find it. Give him the 0.0001% chance of winning and he will.

Compared to Endverse Dean (the end of the road and the lost of purpose), Dean is the embodiment of possibilities. Not because those opportunities are granted to him, but because he'd craft them out of thin air if necessary.

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For me it never gets old whenever a character is told to disarm in the presence of Dean Winchester and they decide to believe it is for his safety.

It is not .

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Someone needs to do a version of Chitaqua reports but in the Parks and Recreations style

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Who's gonna explain to Chitaqua that they are yet to watch the greatest hits of Dean and Cas as the most hated situationship in both heaven and hell?

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Dean's mind has a weird logic, but it's not that hard to understand if you actually put yourself in his shoes.

For once, he is reluctant to call Cas or Chitaqua his because he fears they might not identify him as their Dean. He has always know it's their choice and their claim, even when Cas reminds him that he is Dean Winchester.

Yet, Dean takes responsibility of Endverse Dean's sins because he knows those are his. It's not up to anyone else to decide those, that's between him and Endverse Dean only.

Although Cas tries to reverse that (why does Dean insist to pay for sins that are not his, but refuses to enjoy the company and attention that belongs to him and only him?)— well, this is Dean's weird way of not being selfish, I guess.

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Reverse DTA where Endverse Dean ends on in the main storyline would be so funny.

First of all, he doesn't have an army, it's not the end of the world anymore and most people he haven't seen in years are alive or don't even know him.

I think seeing Bobby alive would soften him, but knowing Sam is alive too? That the other Dean did as he promised and he saved the world without saying yes to Michael? That'd do it.

I think they'd figure out pretty quickly that their Dean is on the Endverse and try to find a way to bring him back, but then the Leviathans start to wreck havoc and they don't have time.

He would feel just as jealous as the other Dean felt when he started comparing their lives. Just that he'd probably start with the hunter camps and he'd feel like he's winning the competition 😂

Also??? Meeting Cas as Emmanuel might kill him on the spot due the whiplash and the irony of Cas being married, having amnesia and living the life of a saint. That'd be so messy, lol.

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Guessing Adam doesn't exist in the Endverse, it would be so funny for Dean to accidentally go "oh yeah the secret third brother, it happened to me" while Cas loses his mind in the background.

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In Game of God everyone is so scared of Dean going back to the way he was before Kansas City, including Dean himself.

I think that book captures very well the utterly stress of the circumstances and how it builds in every character. They are cranky, they are afraid, they are defensive, they haven't sleep properly, they are in the middle of an siege on a demonic version of a zombie apocalypse, their friends are dying, some of them are betraying them, they don't know what is happening...

So all the hope Dean gave them after that night in Kansas City? That's what triggers the fear.

They remember improving Chitaqua, learning to do more things, learning to trust in others and to trust their own capabilities. They remember Cas sober and proud of them, worried about them, a man they feared and now they care deeply about. They remember Dean actually seeing them and maybe that's the worst part.

Even if they don't know it, they can feel it.

Dean showing them how to take their lives back and actively live them. Dean reading their reports and stopping them to talk. Dean among them and with them.

When Dean starts acting a bit like that again...

Chitaqua is so aware of who and where they were and who and they are and what they can become, good and bad options. They had always needed Dean, but now they want him. Now they're scared to lose them not only because he's their way to survive it. That's not just the face of their army, he is Dean!!! They don't want to lose Dean!!!!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the conflicts involving Dean and Chitaqua in Game of God are delightful to read.

It speaks not of damage, but of the desperation born out of the strength of their bonds.

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Vera exits the stage for some weeks to carry a very important mission for Dean and:

A) Dean decides to drop a nuke on her by telling her some hours before her travel that his brother is possessed by Lucifer and the Winchester were part of the apocalypse prophecy.

B) Cas gets shot with a bullet covered in demon blood, which is a new unique way to make him suffer right from his true form.

C) Dean confirms his relationship with Cas in the most traumatizing way possible for the camp and they are not even in a relationship yet.

D) Ichabod and the trade alliance. There's SO MUCH regarding this one topic.

E) Dean gets infected with Croatoan and he almost shoots himself, but he didn't have enough bullets. Why? Because he tried to flirt with Cas and we all know his rituals are very intricate.

F) A new human sacrifice ritual is created, one that could start revolution in hell and that is directly linked to Cas. Somehow.

G) Amanda said yes to a blood offering and she didn't even ask Cas or Dean.

I'm not even done with the third book??? Like???

Where's that one pic of the guy with the pizzas arriving at the party and everything is on fire???

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Tbh I wouldn't like to be Lucifer when he realizes the apocalypse started all over again and now he has to deal with a whole new Dean.

I hope Dean's existence gives Lucifer PTSD.

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I don't know if people like it or not, but Dean really fluctuates in terms of his character development through the seasons. I think it can show just how much the mark is a sort of scar that Dean carries forever— maybe not physically but in his mind.

It's super sad to think how much Dean thinks of himself as a monster, while Sam and Cas fight to convince him otherwise.

Dean's perception of himself is so distorted :(((

Cain will always loom over Dean with his prophecy that Dean would one day cross the line and will do the one kill that will break him forever (Castiel).

The threat extends beyond what Cain can even guess, because from the moment Cas entered the narrative, his purpose has been to shield Dean. He is (many times) the only one that stands between Dean and a certain death.

The problem is that the more Cas sacrifices, the less Dean wants him to. That's for me what the whole Cain-Colette parallel means: the more that person loves you, the more you share your burden with them and the more that burden will kill them.

I wonder if Dean hears the ghost of Cain laughing after Castiel dies again. I wonder how many times Dean thought that he would forever be unclean / marked / cursed by it. If he sat on the floor and thought loving me is what killed him as the many times Cas did something to protect him came to his mind.

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I wanted to reply to these to @overrated-sheep 's tags because I have some thoughts about them:

(this is @latinocas by the way, I fucked up and post this from a sideblog. I'm too lazy to change it now, so sorry for that).

What I didn't explain in the first post is that for me killing Cas is what breaks Dean, because if Dean is willing to kill Sam, then he's already gone.

Even when Crowley and Castiel sacrificed their lives for Dean, it'd be enough for Dean to consider he killed them. That was the order Cain said, first Crowley, then Cas. Finally, Dean would be so far gone he'd offer to kill Sam (which he did, he did offer to kill Sam to Chuck).

Cain says that Sam's murder will turn Dean into what Cain is, as in Dean losing himself to all the bloodlust and violence inherited from the mark.

Ironically enough, Dean was living Cain's life on reverse. That means that while Cain failed to see himself the way Colette saw him and therefore he failed to resist the mark, Dean believed Cas when he told Dean he was more than all the anger and vengeance.

Cain's last words were that he would never stop.

Dean chose to die, e chose to stop with his own life, to stop being a hunter, to erase himself from the whole narrative.

That's at least the way I see it.

Cain will always loom over Dean with his prophecy that Dean would one day cross the line and will do the one kill that will break him forever (Castiel).

The threat extends beyond what Cain can even guess, because from the moment Cas entered the narrative, his purpose has been to shield Dean. He is (many times) the only one that stands between Dean and a certain death.

The problem is that the more Cas sacrifices, the less Dean wants him to. That's for me what the whole Cain-Colette parallel means: the more that person loves you, the more you share your burden with them and the more that burden will kill them.

I wonder if Dean hears the ghost of Cain laughing after Castiel dies again. I wonder how many times Dean thought that he would forever be unclean / marked / cursed by it. If he sat on the floor and thought loving me is what killed him as the many times Cas did something to protect him came to his mind.

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The amount of times Chuck and Cas explained in excruciating detail to Dean that Castiel would kill anyone that stands as a threat to Dean, including his own friends, his students, his brothers, kids that survived human sacrifices and good people survivors of the apocalypse.

Yet of them, only Dean saw a version of Cas who went insane with power in his ambition to find a way to save both heaven and Dean Winchester. Only Dean knows the horror of knowing Castiel would never hurt him like that, but he'd kill or hurt anyone on the way, including Sam.

Dean said it, Cas is a craps player: all or nothing. The type of devotion that would save or end the world and Dean is the subject of it.

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Today I'm thinking about the fact that there are only two other people that know that Dean is dead (at this point in book 2 at least) and Cas isn't exactly going to talk to Chuck about end!Dean and this Dean gets mad half the time Cas mentions him so Cas just has no-one to talk to about the man he lived for and lost

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Love Alison and Teresa because sometimes I can't stand any of them. I love women who can annoy me and challenge me and intrigue me and make me uncomfortable <3

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This is a personal issue I have to work on, but whenever someone tries to give Dean the talk to man up, don't be a pussy, stop the self-pity and the self-destruction or whatever— it's annoying, okay? Bearable, tho.

I know their intentions are good, they're being kind about it, they want to reassure Dean and he does responds positively to it.

It's only annoying because it hurts me?? A bit?? Because they don't know Dean or his (multiple) life and problems. He needs to move on and he needs to stop with that attitude, yes. But like— we're talking about hell. Dean is textually hell's best creation and his entire is fucked beyond what anyone can even guess.

By the third book he has been only 4 months in the Endverse. There was the brownie bite and then the Croatoan bite. It's crazy. He can't talk about any of his real problems (everything related to Sam or the Cas that became a hod and then died, and those are just the main examples).

I don't know, it icks me to read characters judging Dean (even if I know that's partially the purpose of those moments). Tough love works with him, but I'm freaking glad for Cas and how soft he can be with Dean in those moments.

Mr. Comprehension himself deserves someone with endless patience to heal his endless wounds.

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Dean making Cas coffee. Dean picking Cas a bag of tea to try. Dean promising to cook for him and make milkshakes for him. Cas wanting to taste pie because Dean likes it and milkshakes too.

Their love sipping from beneath their skins to the kitchen, nurturing/feeding each other with every single meal shared, even if none of them wants to eat. Maybe because feeding themselves can be sometimes their only way to keep the other from ignoring their hunger.

Dean replacing the excess of alcohol, drugs and sex in Can't life with (sweet) food, his breathing and new friends.