#An argument can be made for Thanos

[sparkoflena]

I love villains who have a point.

I love bad guys that are only opposing the protaganist because they'd go about their problems in different ways.

I love villains who might actually be the good guys in a situation because in saving worlds, some heroes can just make the situation worse.

[extensionallydefined]

Okay, so, I need to talk about the relationship between Persona 5's ending and Persona 5 royal's ending, because I think it isn't discussed enough how one puts into question the themes of the other and in doing so it elevates everything that came before.

Spoilers are coming, you've been warned.

The main thing that's given me an outlet to think about this is a few quotes from the Phantom Thieves when they're in the Velvet Room after being Thanos-snapped by Yaldabaoth. Specifically these quotes:

Ann: "I... I never want anyone to have to go through what I did!"

Yusuke: "Just as art is meant to break boundaries, people should be saved even if they frown upon it. I won't allow the justice I believe in to be shaken any further!"

Ryuji: "We're doin' this to make sure people don't go through the same crap we did. It doesn't matter if they think we're just or not. We gotta do what we believe in!"

Futaba: "I can't let people suffer like this, even if I don't know them personally"

They mention some core ideas: 1. They want to prevent people's suffering because of the suffering they've felt. 2. They must do this regardless of if people want it, because they think it's the right thing to do. 3. Their justice is worth fighting for by virtue of being what they believe in.

Does this seem familiar? Maybe makes you think of a certain therapist who shows up in Royal?

I think Takuto Maruki serves a decent amount of purposes narratively and thematically, but one of the most genius things about him is that he serves as a foil to both the Phantom Thieves and Akechi, and in being that foil, he is, deep down, following the principles that the Phantom Thieves fought for - In the end, it was largely Joker who inspired him to fight for his reality.

Maruki fights for a reality where suffering straight up doesn't exist, because he doesn't want anyone to feel the suffering he's had to endure. Maruki wants the Phantom Thieves and Akechi to never feel suffering anymore, regardless of their stance on the matter. He is "saving" them regardless of their wishes, and will fight them to keep the reality he wants. He thinks the world is unfair, so his "justice" is to make a perfect world for everyone - and that's what makes it worth fighting for, because that's what he believes.

Maruki's rationale to fight against the Phantom Thieves and Akechi is (partly) the same reasoning that the Phantom Thieves use to regain their motivation to fight the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth.

So, narratively, Maruki serves as a mirror that's telling things not to be told for the Phantom Thieves to look into and to see the ugly parts of their own way of acting. Can they really fight Maruki, knowing that he is just acting how they did?

I see people sometimes refusing Maruki's reality because it "wouldn't actually work" or "it's imperfect". But as far as I'm aware, it's imperfect because it hasn't been completed yet - I think the game is a lot more interesting under the pretense that Maruki truly has the power to erase all suffering, once his reality is complete, past the deadline. I also see the argument, and even the game uses it, that Maruki's world "isn't reality". But did we listen well to Morgana's speech before he disappeared in the Yaldabaoth arc? The world itself is made up of cognition, reality is born from the points of view of everyone. Maruki *can* change reality, and the real question of the game is not about the logistics or "ontological dignity" of his reality, but rather - Do you want a world where all your wishes are granted and no suffering exists?

In the end, the game shows the Phantom Thieves that "sticking to their justice" will make them fight against people with similar ideals as theirs. It's funny, in a way, how Akechi was the one fully willing to fight Maruki from the start. His rebellion has always been more individualistic in nature than the Phantom Thieves' - he wanted revenge for himself, then redemption for himself and now he wants a reality where he isn't under anyone's control anymore. To him, Shido's country, Yaldabaoth's ruin and Maruki's world are all the same - Maruki just has a nicer, more therapy-speaky way of presenting his proposal, and sees people as his equals rather than as insolent masses, but his goal is the same. They're all worlds that shackle you for the "greater good". And in the end, Maruki, and Royal, force the P5 gang to become more like Akechi - to value their individuality in the face of the public's "justice".

To fight for what you believe in you will face people with the same determination as you. They will be your equals in many, many ways. In the end, you can only stick to your guns and hope that what you believe in is worth more than what they believe in.

I have a lot more to write about these topics but I'll leave it there. Maybe about the relationship between Maruki's reality and individuality next? That could be fun ^^

Btw - Special thanks to @thedaythatwas for inspiring me to write up stuff about Persona 5 Royal!

[shaineybainey]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 initial thoughts

[ NOT spoiler-free ]

For me, this is one of the few franchises that got better and better as it went along. This third movie was just absolutely phenomenal. As someone had said, it is a great send-off to the movie and the Guardians we've known.

They did a great job exploring Rocket's origin. It really explains why he's never wanted to talk about his past. It was violent and heartbreaking. Nebula's line of "They did worse things to him than Thanos did to me" (or something along that line) summarized it best. You also understand why Rocket can be so violent: it wasn't much because he learned it from the people who engineered him, but because the last time he tried to get away safely, quietly, his friends - essentially his family - all got killed. And the person who caused it was so cold about it. So while he could be extreme, he does it so that no one can hurt him or any of his friends ever again.

Which leads to this other point: Rocket is a grump and a cynic, but deep down he actually really loved the other Guardians.

Adam Warlock! I didn't know what to expect from him, but after seeing the movie, I want to see more of him.

Also: it's great that the movie managed to give Adam his own origin story, his own motivation for why he eventually ended up being a guardian.

Drax was hilarious in this movie, as he always is, but Mantis kinda came for the crown a bit! The fact that she made him fall in love with a sock for fun and made one of the guards they had to get through fall in love with him were some of the funniest moments in the movie.

On a more serious Drax note: "Drax. You weren't meant to be a destroyer. You were meant to be a dad." One of the best lines in the movie. I never would have thought that this is how Drax would "grow up" as a character, but it all made sense. It does.

Kraglin had a fantastic growth too. He'd been trying to train with the arrow Yondu gave him over and over and over, trying to concentrate and plan and think. And he kept failing over and over and over. But when Knowhere was in danger, he finally remembered what Yondu told him: "Fly it with your heart." When he realized that he needed to get out of his head, man did he do some damage. It was amazing.

The bad dog/good dog argument 😂

Gamora. I like how they approached that. They didn't make her fall in love with Peter, even after all the fighting that they did as a team. They were barely even good friends in the end. Also, it's nice that she has a different family to belong to now (the Ravagers) but who still loved her just the same. It's good that they didn't try to change her. They made her realistic.

Lol "You guys are just making up what he's saying" when Groot would talk

Nebula. Oh, man, where do I begin. I've started really liking her as a character since GotG 2, and even more so during Endgame, but wow. She's really grown. She looks after the people of Knowhere, the Guardians look to her for big decisions and even resolution for internal problems of the team. The team respects her, even more than Peter most times. She still has rage inside, and she has trouble expressing other feelings without it, but I think she's made tremendous progress. And it's so obvious that she cares deeply about the team and even the lives of others, even if she doesn't outright say it.

Okay. There's a lot to unearth with the not-so-subtle hints at Peter/Nebula. First off, it's obvious in this movie and even in the Christmas special that Nebula's been looking after Peter. But the fact that she would take him home whenever he was totally wasted and put him to bed, making sure he was comfortable? And when Gamora was going to hurt Peter out of frustration and Nebula jumped in to stop her, practically telling her to back off? And that when Gamora suggested that the woman Peter's describing, the one that he's fallen in love with because she's grown from being ruthless to being caring, is Nebula, and Peter started looking at her differently? Bruh. I don't know what they're playing at here, but alright. I'm onboard.

Speaking of Peter, I like that he decided to come back home to Earth to reach out to his grandfather. I'd like to think he got a little help from the Avengers to get to that doorstep (info, means of transpo, things like that). It was great to see him in a normal life setting in the post-credit, too, where he's just eating cereal, talking smack about someone behind their back lol

Okay, that's it for now. Will come back when I remember the other things I liked (spoiler alert: there's a TON)

[unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff]

If there’s anything we can agree on, it’s that Wanda maximoff was majorly screwed over in terms of character writing

Absolutely. As much as I adore Wanda, I paradoxically don't think any of her appearances were done well.

Age of Ultron comes pretty close by actually letting her nobility shine through and letting her call out Tony, but it falls short by not making it crystal-clear that she was never loyal to Hydra, and by not showing her react to what she indirectly caused in Johannesburg.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why I hate what's done with her in Civil War, but I'll do it anyway:

- the movie and the audience alike blame her for the casualties in Lagos instead of, y'know, the Hydra agent who actually set off the bomb - she isn't allowed to speak up when Tony starts condescendingly going "um, you all need to understand that people die in carnage 🤓" as if her fucking brother wasn't murdered by his creation, nor is she allowed to have any opinion at all on the document that will legally declare her a sub-human - Despite the movie trying to say she'd have to think about signing the Accords rather than instantly saying no like she really would, Tony goes over her head and kicks her off the Avengers roster and imprisons her so Ross can have an easier time getting her when he decides that she needs to be disposed of because it's now legal to do that to an Enhanced that you so much as suspect might be a threat. - For some reason people think SHE'S the one in the wrong when she subdues Vision (which literally makes her cry) in order to escape from Tony. - She gets blamed by the movie itself for Rhodey's injury (Vision saying he was "distracted" when he fired. What else could that mean?), most likely in order to make you think "serves that bitch right" when Tony sees her being tortured on the Raft and has zero reaction.

Infinity War probably comes the closest to being a good depiction of her, despite the fact that the Russo Brothers either couldn't care less about her, or outright dislike her for daring to have beef with Tony, who they worship. With that being said, her horrible sacrifice and subsequent nullification of it, as torturous as it is to watch, is legitimately good storytelling. Now if only the movie didn't try with zero irony to say that Thanos murdering Gamora was the same thing.

Her two minutes in Endgame are... fine, I guess. Her absolutely wiping the floor with Thanos is cool, but it's emotionally hollow because it's not the Thanos that took Vision from her. Also, the scene has been ruined for me by the official YouTube clip being flooded with comments going "OMG, this was such a great passing of the torch between the two biggest MCU villains." Like, fuck you! I guess I'm grateful that the laughably tone-deaf scene where everyone kneels before Tony's corpse was cut, because he directly harmed many of the people there, Wanda most of all. And then she never gets to learn that Tony's insistence against rewinding time is the reason Vision is gone for good.

WandaVision is supposed to be her big time in the spotlight. And it is... but it's still not worthy of her. Setting aside how annoying it was that no one was interested in Wanda at all while the show was being released and were only interested in how the series could be used as a vehicle to introduce stuff like mutants, the series made a massive error in prioritizing audience intrigue over character consistency. What do I mean by that? Well, pure and simple, the Wanda Maximoff I know and love would never, and I mean NEVER, be complicit in the enslavement and torture of 4,000 people (many of whom are children). And the show itself seems to agree with me, as the final few episodes make it crystal-clear she had no idea how this started or what the Hex was doing to anyone. There's just one problem with that; the majority of the show was implying she knew she was in full control (all those time resets, her throwing Monica out, her whole argument with Vision, her expanding the Hex). Clearly these moments were meant to keep the audience guessing as to what was really happening, but the result was Wanda being insanely out of character, and the show itself highlights that. So yeah, if Elizabeth Olsen wasn't so proud of the show, I would write it off completely despite how much I loved certain parts of it (mostly just the final two episodes for actually letting her be the hero she really is).

I have no kind words whatsoever for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Fuck that movie. And fuck Marvel for letting Sam Raimi and Michael Waldron turn Wanda into a one-note slasher villain and making her many many haters feel validated. The fact that it was sheer incompetence that led to this and not open malice is honestly even worse, because that's how little this character is valued.

So yeah, while I love everything about Wanda as a person, she's way too good for any of the projects she appears in, and if I had my way I'd pluck her out of the MCU and put her in a universe where she can truly be loved and valued like she deserves to be (with her permission of course).

[gloriousburden]

Dw about the long response!! I'm happy to read everything :) And goodness I agree on so many levels! I ended up criticizing so much I had to cut this a little short, since I often start rambling in between, but … What got to me the most were these aspects that were either treated poorly or weren’t thought of at all (You might’ve seen these already so … U don’t have to answer, again, hh ((though I am happy to hear your thoughts if you have anything to say or just thought of stuff!))):

Loki’s heritage - I … I don’t know man. I guess we don’t care he’s a frost giant. That definitely didn’t mess him up. No. Not a mention of what happened while he was exiled or when he was with Thanos. These are such big events in his life. Like, enormously big. (Also him trying to end it at the end of Thor 1... man...) It’s trauma after trauma, and in the Avengers and TDW it’s quite easy to see how they affected him too, since he is so different compared to Thor 1. And no, I don’t mean to say he was an innocent baby before ofc - you already tackled that argument on another post quite well, and I’d like to add that it’s literally how he AND Thor grew up. It’s not just Loki. Sure after the trip to Midgard Thor comes back different since he learned shit but before that?? We saw how Thor acted. They took from Odin, afterall, who participated in numerous wars - it’s obvious. They’re morally gray characters - both Loki and Thor. And what made it worse is that Thor and Odin’s wrongdoings were “justified” while the moment Loki did anything he got all types of repercussions - which all of them should’ve had really. You're putting three people together, all of them made similar mistakes but only one of them is getting yelled at. Everytime. And the other two are praised for it. Why can Thor and Odin do it and he can't? If the heroes do it it's for the greater good ... but Loki's a monster, right?

TVA and just … Sylvie and Mobius. A mess. I actually didn’t like the concept of the TVA a lot, and the whole storyline in general but I won’t get into that or else it turns too long - so I’ll just focus on these two and some of Loki’s aspects. He just … “opens up” to these guys. When he … just came from an awful background. Family trauma, him being a Jotunn (another thing they fucked up, no magic? why isn’t he blue then) and all the shit he went through with Thanos. He’s captive yet again. Like everything is just repeating - I think that’d be quite traumatic and he surely wouldn’t talk about anything with them. Also whenever he spoke about his “troubles” it just felt like it was more to explain it to the viewers rather than the characters? Like it wasn’t subtle and sometimes it just felt out of place for me. Could be that I don’t remember well, but still. What was allat. Idk how to explain, I hope you get it lol

While I won’t deny some moments with Mobius did make me grin because Owen Wilson just brings a smile to my face, it’s… Yeah, no. How is Loki already “opening up” to this guy. Why is he letting him do all of that. What’s going on. He’s one of your captors. CAPTORS. Wtf. I think you also covered this in another ask. Sorry if I'm repeating things hh

Sylvie I don’t even know how to go in that argument. I was devastated. I don’t think I have the words. Not only was everything so fast and I despised this weird toxic self-cest ship because … Wtf. Not to mention how quick it all was, they jumped to a "romantic" route after what, 1 or 2 conversations and Loki suddenly "catches feelings" for someone who's an alternate version of himself (which let's be honest it's only because they decided Sylvie was going to be a woman, but they had to mess that up too - another concept they handled HORRIBLY since Loki's gender is fluid and it shouldn't be so shocking for her to be female?? Especially to him and all Loki's variants?? Why is it even an argument!! I know I shouldn’t be surprised because it’s Disney and Marvel but fuck!! [[not even sure anymore since I read that Sylvie cannot shapeshift… Idk if it’s true, again doesn’t make any sense]]) which by itself is so illogical and makes no damn sense. Most shows just handle romance and relationships like ass and I can’t believe people actually like it. Especially since this is all … Toxic?? Not even romance. Gosh I have no words because of how messy it all was.

Also little observation, I’m a little slow and I don’t know if someone mentioned this already but right at the beginning of the series the introduction is almost symbolic in a sense, lol. He’s shown with shorter and different hair compared to the Avengers, which might seem little, don't get me wrong, but … still. Maybe I’m picky with details, however it is already a change. Then, some moments later, he’s shed of his Asgardian fit too and placed in a variant uniform. Again, obvious things. But really, they decided to just. Pick his character and make … a complete new one. It’s like making an OC after putting so many headcanons on a character that it’s not even THAT character anymore, it’s just… An OC. Definitely not voluntary, it just something I noticed lol

And clearly they show it later in the episode that it’s exactly what happens. He’s just mocked continuously, which is one thing that irked me a lot like you, because it kept going and going, it wasn’t just a moment, no, they kept going with that. What's the point of the series?? Where's the development?? None of these characters grew. None.

There’s probably more but … I don’t wanna write no more lol. I’m probably gonna start reading the comics too. They seem far more promising.

Thanks for listening again!! :D Hope you're doing well btw!!

No exactly. Loki’s heritage, a FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF HIS CHARACTER, has not ever been spoken about again unless it was to mock him. I wasn’t expecting them to full on show his Jotun form or anything of that sort, but you know what, maybe I expected them to talk about it in a non humorous manner for a second or two. Considering the fact it plays a HUGE part in who Loki is. Him only being a political pawn to Odin, instead of being a son to him as he thought, is why he is the way he is. You cannot excuse or undermine that. It is just as (if not more) important as “Ohhhh Loki’s jealous of Thor..” because it is literally the source. It’s the explanation.

There is a reason he was raised with inadequate care, and it wasn’t just because Thor was stronger physically or because he fit the image of the Asgardian ideal more than Loki did.

Loki was never meant to be loved, period. It wasn’t because of his mischievous nature. It wasn’t because of him gravitating towards magic and sharp weapons rather than brute strength. It was because when he was a baby on Jotunheim, he was taken in as a future pawn, instead of as a son to be loved despite any differences or despite how he grows up.

Getting to what you said about Thor and Odin being able to be heroes, while Loki is a villain no matter what he does… it is because Loki is only there to move the plot forward. Even if he does something reasonable, or something that could even be seen as heroic, it does not matter because he is not worthy of being seen as a hero. He’s only there to be a rival to Thor. In Odin’s eyes, he cannot be loved or praised, because the image of worthiness was always far from Loki’s own image.

The series was never meant to be about Loki. It was meant to pave the way for the Multiverse saga(?) and to introduce the next big enemy (Kang the Conqueror) but we all know how that went. You can drive yourself crazy with MANY questions like… oh, how did they forget this? How did they disregard that? Because Marvel just needed a pre-existing character to fuck up, get captured by the TVA, and everything else that happens. It’s not Loki specific, because why would Marvel ever do anything good for not only Loki but Tom Hiddleston who’s put so much care and love into playing Loki?

Why would they talk about Loki’s encounter with Thanos, the events of Avengers, the events of Thor? This is supposed to be Loki STRAIGHT OUT OF THE AVENGERS, and they didn’t talk about it besides insulting him. We didn’t get any POV from Loki. Nothing. If we didn’t get a Loki’s POV on the events he’s just gone through, why would it do him any kind of justice? WHY WOULD THEY TALK ABOUT HIS HERITAGE?

The only way the series could work, is for Loki to be dumbed the fuck down and at a disadvantage. Even if he is without his abilities/weapons, Loki is VERY intelligent. If this was ACTUALLY Loki, his ass would’ve manipulated his way out of there with EASE. Marvel has always downplayed how intelligent Loki is, of course they’d do it in a series that is supposed to uplift him. It’s only Loki that gets dumbed down in his own series.

The no magic at the TVA thing… I don’t even know man. I’m going to assume the contradiction is due to the writers forgetting/disregarding anything that’s relevant to Loki’s character once again as well as them not being able to CGI Tom Hiddleston blue for however many hours the series runs for. They could’ve at least gave some kind of bullshit excuse for it. I’ve seen some theorize that Odin’s spell was just that powerful, or that it changed Loki biologically permanently or something. I don’t really remember please forgive me lol there’s posts made by others on here with more information if you are interested. I just think of it as them not caring about Loki once again.

Please do not apologize! The reason I make posts is so I can further discuss my points with others. I love hearing from everyone, and I really appreciate this ask! Forgive me for not getting to it sooner. I’ve been busy, and also wanted to make sure all of this made sense before posting. If you want to discuss anything that I’ve previously spoken of, I genuinely would love to and would appreciate it. I’m glad that people actually listen to what I have to say lol

They had to speed run the development of every relationship in order for the plot to work out, so that’s why Loki, known for not trusting others as well as being known as someone who shouldn’t be trusted, was opening up to a complete stranger (WHO WORKS FOR AN AUTHORITY) who was holding him captive, and insulting him every chance he got.

Also the “I’ve studied every aspect of your life” thing about Mobius is so weird to me??? You did that, but do not understand Loki at all and insult him??? Asshole. I hate that guy.

The concept of the series is SO fucking stupid in the first place. Not sure if you know this, but a good chunk of the plot is a screenplay/scrapped project Michael Waldron wrote a while back. Once again, Loki was never the focus of any of this. It was not written with him in mind. He needed a strong female lead, and a “male” lead to project his own plot onto basically. They just recycled it.

“The worst guy of all time and the girl who came to kill him” [Link]

It is so fucking bad, and it makes so much sense.

Sylvie… she’s definitely a character! Like she’s played by an actress, has lines, and stuff…

There is so much to be said about her. Waldron is HORRIBLE at writing women (as you can tell by the horrendous screenplay I’ve linked) and the entire concept of her character is dumb as fuck. I believe I’ve said this before, but she’s like three pre-existing characters mashed into one to keep her unique/distinctive from Loki, YET SHE BRINGS NOTHING INTERESTING TO THE SERIES AT ALL!!! HOW ARE YOU THREE CHARACTERS, BUT SO BORING??? Can Sylvie really not shapeshift? I didn’t know that. She’s literally… a Loki. That makes no fucking sense not only because of Loki in the MCU/comics, but also because of Norse Mythology Loki. The literal origins.

About Loki’s gender/sex being fluid… they never cared about that which is why Loki (and the other variants) were so fucking baffled that Sylvie was female. Not going to lie, It kind of felt misogynistic to me. A variant of Loki being in a female form could’ve been really cool, but the MCU has to fuck up anything related to female characters.

The romance… 😃

Man, the motive behind it is so fucking stupid too. Self love, because Loki has always loved himself guys. He’s so narcissistic!!! Of course he would fall in love with a female variant of himself. Because he’s so self obsessed.

Loki, ONCE AGAIN, a character known for not trusting others, would SOOOOO fall in love with someone he just met. He’s been lied to numerous times in his life by people he loved and trusted, but it’s very logical for him to fall in love with someone who’s done nothing but belittle him for a few interactions.

He had more chemistry with that book he was reading in his cell in TDW then he did with Sylvie. (or Mobius for that matter.)

Omg yessss I ship them so hard!! That’s what they sound like. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think that “toxic” relationships can SOMETIMES be written decently in fiction, but this… 😁

Sylvie just constantly belittles Loki, and he doesn’t even belittle or mock her back! It could’ve been playful and not one sided, but if Loki dared to belittle Sylvie the way she did to him, her entire character would make no sense and every flaw would have to be given a second thought. Something the writers would never do.

They didn’t point out each other’s flaws, it was only Sylvie pointing out Loki’s. Same thing with every other character interaction Loki had in the series. It was all about “humbling” him, and no one else. AND THE SERIES IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT HIM!

I personally do not like romance in fiction in general, but GOODNESS is the MCU exceptionally horrible at handling it.

(Changed color of the ss because it was blending in with my own text lol)

No, this… this is spot on.

I’ve always thought of this as well. It put such a bad taste in my mouth. But, at least they were honest about how the series was going to go from the beginning. The first thing they do is strip him (literally) of who he is in every way possible. His personality, his armor, and his hair isn’t even the same. No because Loki really is just a base character for their shitty story. How anyone who claims to like Loki cannot see the symbolism you mentioned, as well as him NOT BEING LIKE HIMSELF WHATSOEVER, I don’t know… it was the first thing I noticed, and when I watched the series, I had probably only watched the movies featuring him a few times. That’s how stark the difference was to me.

ALSO THIS?????

EXACTLY! IT FELT LIKE IT WAS MORE TO EXPLAIN IT TO THE VIEWERS RATHER THAN THE CHARACTERS!!!!!! That is an amazing point, and I’ve been trying to put that into words. Everything is just so fucking disconnected and unnatural feeling. The interactions are so fake. HORRENDOUS WRITING. I didn’t know it could get this bad.

Once again, so sorry for not getting to this sooner. Thank you so much for the ask, and I appreciate your thoughts! You made a lot of good points, and you don’t need to apologize for anything. Feel more than welcome to send asks any time you’d like! ❤️

[lionlena]

We don't love each other (PedroPascalxreader) angst! Part II

A/N: I can't believe I wrote ANGST. It breaks my heart. All because of this one gif. In my imagination, Tyler looks like Tyler Hoechlin.

Summary:  You and Pedro are: friends with benefits, for many years. Your layout is simple and clear. You don't love each other. You're friends on a daily basis, you take care of each other... Sometimes you sleep together. You go on dates with other men and Pedro doesn't mind. Everything is simple until you accidentally hear Oscar say that Pedro loves you. Then you decide to tell him the truth and you ruin everything.

Warnings: angst!!! smut, mentions of sex, friends with benefits, sad, broken hearts, age difference (reader is 15 years younger than Pedro)

A/N: This part is shorter and please... Don't be angry. I know some of you want a happy ending and I promise you will get it, but not yet.

*

Part II

It is said that mourning has 5 stages. Of course you knew Pedro was alive, but you felt you had lost him forever. So you started going through each stage one by one.

1. Denial

That's what you felt right after the fight with Pedro, when you cried alone. You didn't believe what he said. He was just drunk and didn't mean it at all. It was the alcohol fault.

You knew it was a lie. You've seen him drunk many times. He was the type to just get sleepy and cuddle more. He was never aggressive and was always aware of what he was saying.

2. Anger

You felt it as soon as you entered the house. You threw your suitcase furiously against the wall and started screaming.

How the fuck was he dare acting like this?! Fucking selfish. His age argument was ridiculous. The difference between the two of you wasn't that large. You were an adult. Damn, you were a mature woman! Leave that point for Leonardo!

And his fucking fame! There have been times in the past that your photos have appeared on gossip sites. You didn't care too much about it. But maybe it was him, he didn't want to ruin his image with someone like you.

3. Bargaining

Once you had calmed down, you sat down on the couch and while you drank another glass of wine, you began to analyze everything. It didn't have to be the end. You don't have to love him and he doesn't have to love you. You can still be friends without sex... Or with sex. Sometimes. Once a year. For so many years your system has been running like a well-oiled machine. You can still undo everything, right? If only you'd stayed at the door a few minutes more. If you had heard Pedro's whole conversation with Oscar.

4. Depression

You decided to spend all your holiday crying. For three days you lay on the couch and hardly moved. A pile of used tissues has gathered around you. There were two empty wine bottles and an ice cream wrapper under the table. There was a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. But you really didn't care. You wanted to disappear. Just turn to dust like the people in "Avengers: Infinity War" after Thanos snapped his fingers.

You remembered how you made Pedro watch all the Marvel movies with you. He was teasing you so much about your crush on Captain America.

"You'll see, one day, I'll deliberately star in some movie with Chris Evans  to make you die of envy!"

Another loud sob escaped your lips. You were about to hide under the blanket when the doorbell rang. You were surprised. You didn't order food, you didn't wait for anyone... Your heart jumped like crazy.

It's Pedro! Of course "your" Pedro would come to you eventually. You quickly ran to open the door and your heart dropped to your feet.

"Ty?"

"Hey, Y/N." Your ex-boyfriend looked worried at you. "Can I go in?"

You were so shocked that you just shrugged and let him in. You sat on the couch and watched Tyler. The man scanned your living room and finally sat down on the coffee table, across from you.

"Y/N are you okay?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat. You just didn't believe it was Tyler. And of course he had to be nice and worry about you. What did you expect? You've been together for seven fucking months.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to apologize to you."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. You were even more surprised when Tyler grabbed your hands.

"I understand that my proposal might have overwhelmed you. I shouldn't have done it like this. You had the right to feel pressured. I'm so sorry Y/N. I would have come earlier if I had known you were suffering so much."

One sec! Tyler thought your current state was the result of breaking off an engagement. Oh shit! Did he really have to pick the worst moment of your life? You felt like someone hit you on the head, with a hammer.

"Yes?" you asked with weak voice.

"Yes, baby. I'm not angry anymore. I missed you so much."

"Yes?"

Your brain has really stopped working. Tyler unfortunately found it cute and chuckled slightly.

"Yes! We've had so many wonderful moments. How about starting over? Slower this time. Maybe instead of getting engaged, you'd agree to move in together. But I'm not pushing. No pressure this time."

You nodded your head and just like that you were pushed into stage 5: acceptance.

You've lost Pedro. He will never come back to you. You couldn't turn Tyler down again. You had to come to terms with the idea that you would end up with someone you couldn't love. For the rest of your life. At least you won't be alone.

With Tyler's help, you cleaned the apartment and agreed to go for a walk with him because he said the fresh air would do you good. As you walked down the street with him and holding his hand, you still felt a huge emptiness in your chest. That's when you realized you'd never make it to Stage 5. You'd stay "depressed" forever.

*

(Pedro pov )

1. Denial

As Pedro stood on the beach and watched your taxi vanish into the horizon, he just couldn't believe it. All night he denied everything. It didn't happen. He misunderstood you. You didn't mean it. You were drunk. Only he knew you and knew you were serious. Both about loving him and about to leave you alone.

2. Anger

He wiped his tears furiously. Why did he have to be so stupid?! Why did he have to screw everything up? He didn't want to yell at you, he didn't want to break your heart, and most of all, he didn't want you to leave. And at the same time, he had enough. He hated every guy he had to share your lips with. He hated it when you came back to him for another dose of love. For years he told himself he could handle it. That it's better in this way. You didn't love him and you deserved someone better.

He was so consumed with anger that he didn't notice Oscar standing beside him. Well, his friend really had no timing.

"Hey man, what happened?"

Pedro glared at him angrily.

"It just fucking happened that you had to pick the worst possible day to talk about morality!"

"Whoa, slow down!"

Oscar held his hands up, but Pedro continued to press against him.

"Y/N overheard us! She came to me at night and confessed that she loved me, and I..." His voice broke. "I yelled at her... I told her I didn't want to love her..."

"Then why the fuck are you mad at me?! Remember what I told you when I  discovered you have agreement with her?"

"That it's sick and we're both going to suffer."

"Exactly! And now you're standing here taking your anger out on me. I didn't come up with this! You guys got yourself into this. It's not my fault you don't know what you want. How I was supposed to know she loved you... Ok, sometimes I suspected it, but..." Oscar sighed heavily as he saw his friend crying. He pulled Pedro into a hug. "I'm sorry. I know you're hurting, but maybe it's better this way."

Pedro clenched his hands on Oscar's shirt.

"I want her back," he mumbled.

3. Bargaining

Pedro couldn't just stay with the others and keep playing. He apologized to everyone, explaining the sudden need to shoot some scenes for The Mandalorian. Only Oscar and Sarah knew the truth.

When he got to his apartment, he was still analyzing everything. After all, he could still fix everything. You two will go back to your old layout. Eventually you'll realize that you don't love him. He will be able to have a part of you again. He will suffer and he will listen to Oscar's lectures again, but at least his heart will not be so empty.

After three days, he made a decision. He grabbed his car keys and cell phone and decided to go to your place. He parked near your apartment and was about to leave when he saw Tyler come out. You were right behind him. Your ex reached out to you. You smiled slightly and grabbed his hand. He realized that apparently you two are together again. And he hated him. Hated Tyler's square jaw, chiseled stomach, biceps... And he hated himself for being such a pathetic pup who lay down at your feet.

4. Depression

He spent the rest of the day sitting on the couch drinking beer and looking at pictures of you together. He felt as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest. He had years to tell you the truth and he wasted it. So many times he could have tried to change something, but he was too late. He lost you and he was never going to accept that.

* Amor fugado,

( Run away love,)

Me tomas, me dejas, me exprimes, y me tiras a un lado

(You take me, you leave me, you squeeze me and throw me aside)

Te vas a otro cielo y regresas como los colibrís

(You go to another heaven and come back like the hummingbirds)

Me tienes como un perro a tus pies.

(You have me like a dog at your feet)

Labios compartidos, labios divididos

(Shared lips, divided lips,)

(mi amor)

Yo no puedo compartir tus labios

(I can’t share your lips)

Y comparto el engaño y comparto mis días y el dolor

(That I share the deceive and I share my days and the pain)

Ya no puedo compartir tus labios

(I can’t share your lips)

Oh amor, oh amor, compartido

(Oh love, oh shared love)

Mana - Labios Compartidos

@creedslove​ I probably listened this song a hundred times while writing Pedro pov <3

Part I

Part III

[infiniteeight8]

I loved your Titan/Infinity Stone AU! Any more ideas or inspiration for that 'verse?

Okay, I made you wait 6 days for it, but at least it's longer than usual! Here's more, with another appearance of the Soul Stone, as promised. Not much shippy in this one, though.

Edited to add links to: Part 1 Part 2

-

Stephen abruptly looks past Tony and yells, “Stop!”

Tony twists, one gauntlet coming up defensively, and sees that the Guardians have broken away from their discussion and are now standing over Thanos and the gauntlet that still adorns the corpse. The guy, Star-Lord maybe, is bending down. He doesn’t stop when Stephen yells, either, instead pulling the gauntlet off of Thanos’s hand and straightening up with it.

Stephen launches himself up off the rock he’d been sharing with Tony and strides over to them. “Trying to use that could kill us all,” he snaps sharply. “Even with the gauntlet, we’re not made to contain that kind of power.”

“Look, I’ve held an Infinity Stone before,” Star-Lord retorts. “I’m not all human, okay? All I want to do is get Gamora back, I’m not going to try to change half the universe.”

“There’s more than one stone on that gauntlet,” Stephen says. “Even if you knew how each of them worked, which I highly doubt, you know nothing about making them work together.”

Star-Lord takes an aggressive step towards Stephen. “For Gamora, I’m willing to take the risk!”

Stephen looks like he’s winding up for a fight, but then the lady with the antennae gasps. “Peter! The Soul Stone!”

“What?” Star-Lord—Peter, Tony guesses—looks down at the gauntlet and then swears, clutching it in both hands. The Soul Stone is gone. “Where the hell could it have gone?” He demands. “Gamora died for that thing, we can’t just lose it!”

Tony knows where the stone is, of course, but he’s not about to volunteer that without more information. Stephen knows, too, as the bearer of the Time Stone, but he keeps quiet as well. 

You want to fill me in? Tony asks silently.

Gamora was one of those offered to me as I starved, the Soul Stone replies. It doesn’t sound remorseful, only matter of fact. 

Are they right? Can you bring back the dead? The thought sends a chill through Tony. As much as he would love to get back people he’d lost, there was no one he trusted with that kind of power, and he had no illusions about the lengths people would go to to get a hold of it.

No, the stone says, thank God. But Gamora is not dead in the usual sense. She was sacrificed to me, and I hold all the souls so given.

Tony hasn’t decided yet, but he figures he ought to have all the information before he does. Could you give this one back? 

Yes. But Reality would need to make her a new body. The old one is no longer serviceable.

Does Reality need a bearer for that? Tony isn’t thrilled at the idea of any of this group—now shouting at each other and Stephen while Star-Lord digs around in the dirt as if the Stone might have just fallen out of the gauntlet—the Reality Stone.

No. I could ask. They would probably agree. Moreso, if Time asks as well.

Tony blows out a breath and then drags Stephen away from the argument. They let him go, fortunately. Tony lowers his voice. “The Soul Stone says it can bring her back, since it was the one that killed her,” he says. “But it needs Reality to do it. It says it would help if Time asked, too. What do you think?”

Stephen casts a wary glance at the other group. “I think we have two more or less cooperative Infinity Stones, and they have three Infinity Stones, plus the gauntlet,” he murmurs. “That’s a fight I’d rather avoid. And… it would be nice to get someone back from this whole mess.”

“Yeah,” Tony says. For a moment, all he can feel is exhausted. “Yeah, it would.”

Turning, Tony eyes the arguing group. Maybe it would be better to just… take care of things, rather than jump into that. You need me to be hands-on with Reality? he asks the Soul Stone.

No, it replies. You wish me to return Gamora to this world?

Yes. Tony remembers the Soul Stone talked about being free. Please. This won’t hurt you? You mentioned being starved of purpose.

I do not need to consume souls, it reassures him. Thank fuck, because Tony hadn’t even thought to ask about that before. Merely be among them. Touch them, sometimes. Returning this one will have great impact on their souls. 

Let’s do it, then.

Tony’s right gauntlet, where the Soul Stone is hidden, lights up with an orange glow. Then Stephen’s amulet does the same, in green. Just as Star-Lord and his group notice, Thanos’s gauntlet lights up red. He shouts and drops it. Red light beams out of Thanos’s gauntlet and collides mid-air with orange beams shooting out of Tony’s . They twine together, so brightly they make Tony squint, and then abruptly disappear, leaving a green skinned woman in their wake.

Is she supposed to be green? Tony asks silently. The Soul Stone sends him a wordless affirmation; everything is as it should be.

Star-Lord and the rest shout and mob the green woman. A happy reunion, it looks like.

Peter—not Star-Lord, Peter Parker—quietly sidles up between Tony and Stephen while the others are still celebrating. “I’m really glad they got their friend back,” he says. “But does anyone know how we’re supposed to get home? Because I’m pretty sure all the ships we brought, you know,” he makes an illustrative hand gesture, “crashed.”

-

(I confess, I have a bunch more ideas for this AU. Feel free to prompt, either in general or with specific things in this AU.)

[rqgnarok]

catalogue - sam wilson

fandom: marvel, the falcon & the winter soldier

wc: 4,368

warnings: implied smut, mentions of injuries and scars, blood and bruises. neutral pronouns, no use of (y/n).

summary: you and sam don’t get to see each other often, but when you do, there’s a ritual you insist on going through to deal with your time apart. 

masterlist / ao3 / ko-fi

You’re a sight for Sam’s sore eyes. 

He hasn’t seen you in over six months. It’s an occupational hazard, he knows, but it’s the worst. Being the Falcon made his personal life take a step back in his list of priorities, and becoming Captain America meant setting the list on fire and declaring Sam Wilson’s downtime practically nonexistent. As far as he’s aware, Sarah and the boys are the only exceptions to the rule.

It’s not all on him. You’re an Avenger, too, even if you’re semi-retired. Semi, because the new kids still look for guidance as much as they can and you still keep a room at the Avengers compound because of it, even if scarcely decorated. 

You make your entrance by scaring the shit out of him because of course, you have to. 

“Is this what you call watching your six?”

Sam puffs out a sound between a scoff and a laugh. It’s always an interesting mix of emotions with you, Sam has never felt so safe and yet unbalanced than when he’s in your presence. It creates a sort of vacuum in his belly that has him feeling like a kid with a crush, but he’ll die before he ever admits that to anyone. Especially you.

“You know you don’t have to sneak up on me every time.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you quip, raising your brows and extending a hand that Sam takes to haul himself back on his feet. You click your tongue. “Gotta say, though, it’s a little less charming now that you’re Captain America. Where does that leave national security?”

Sam rolls his eyes so hard he’s about to give himself a headache, dusting off his ass and giving you a quick once-over, taking advantage of your sudden closeness to do so freely. “Thank Jesus the world still has you, then.”

“Only half time,” you shrug, unaware that Sam knows you’ve spent more time at the Avengers compound than your own apartment lately. If he has a few eyes that check up on you when you’re there, well. It’s only cause he worries. “You and Barnes playing in the Big Leagues leaves a lot of unfinished business for little guys like us.”

“Says the little guy who’s been to space,” Sam uses the same argument he always does when you try to downplay your importance in the job you do. It’s like a script, these meetings of yours, always under the excuse of responsibility until it’s not– until the conversation flows into what Sam has been aching for since the last time he saw you. 

You roll your eyes like he knew you would. You’ve been an Avenger since before they had the name for it, so if anyone deserves the semi-retirement, Sam concedes, it’s gotta be you. He won’t pretend it won’t be a big hit when you choose to walk away completely, though. Whether that’s to the business or Sam’s life, well. That’s another conversation.

He misses you. It’s hardly a crime. 

“And they’ve still got us doing intel like we’re rookies,” you shrug, lessening your significance anyway. As if you weren’t up there in the cosmos chasing after freaking Thanos, but Sam won’t argue with you about this. You already spend so little time together to waste it building conflicts between you.

“Please,” Sam’s a professional, so he doesn’t make a bitchface and say girl with disbelief coating his tone, but judging from the amusement that glints in your eyes, you read through the lines with ease. “Like we’d let the children anywhere near this.”

“Okay, Dad,” you snort. “How are Torres and Barnes anyway?”

“The kid and his grandpa are fine,” he goes for annoyed but his grin is boyish and unrestrained. “Jealous they weren’t authorized to drop by. This is practically a vacation, you know.”

You shake your head, but all in good fun. “If your bosses have you thinking that then you desperately need some real downtime.”

“This is as close as it gets, these days.” 

Torres had flown him all the way to Switzerland just so Sam could go and spend a few weeks in a rustic, semi-abandoned town on the outskirts of the city where an old SHIELD safehouse still stood against all odds. 

Why he had to go to the other side of the world for some intel, he asked and got no answer. Now it comes to mind how he has no idea where you– his contact– have been stationed lately nor what kind of work you’ve been pulling for whoever it is you answer to these days.

You don’t tell him about it, and he’s quit on trying to ask. Whether it’s because you don’t think he’ll approve of what you’re doing or because it’s strictly classified, Sam doesn’t know. 

“Blink twice if they’re holding you hostage,” you say in all seriousness, and he peels his eyes at you without blinking, getting close to your face. You laugh, pushing him away. “Alright, alright, I get it. You’re one with the nation. Let me show you these files and see what Mr. America makes of ‘em.”

The physical files you actually bring with you are minimal, and most of the data you’ve been ordered to skim through is kept in a USB you hand to Sam as soon as the coffee has kicked in. Neither of you are exactly sure what it is you’re looking for so you’re stuck in the studio of the tiny, look-at-me-wrong-and-I’ll-crumble safe house for over three whole days before you finally start gathering some worthy intel.

“I was told we’d known when we found it,” you shrug, not visibly bothered by the fact that you’ve most likely been sent on a wild goose chase. “Or if we didn’t. We might go back empty-handed after all.”

It’s not encouraging but it’s what you’ve got, even if Sam isn’t sure he’s able to be out of commission for that long. He’s realized people get antsy when Captain America isn’t seen somewhere in the world after a few days, but despite how hard he tries he’s not able to be in two places at once.

“Yet,” he tells you when you take a food break and you allow him to rant about these troubles. “Haven’t figured it out yet, but Steve kind of managed it after a few years, right?”

“Steve was superhuman,” you remind him helpfully behind your coffee cup. You’d found some old whiskey at the back of a cabinet and doused your drink with it, so you make a face when it goes down. 

“You don’t think I’m super?”

“I think you’re something, alright.”

“Aw. That was almost a compliment.”

“Can’t let it get to your head, hotshot. Ego’s already too big for your body.”

It’s so fucking domestic Sam feels the ache of it in his teeth. You, sitting at the table in your tiny kitchen while he sits on the counter, each drinking your coffee how you like it as the sun sets through the window above the sink. Talking for hours until you realize you’re practically sitting in the dark as the afternoon flew by while you were taken with each other’s company. 

But then you go back to looking at intel until your eyes are burning and you excuse yourself to pass out on the couch. You do it almost half an hour to the dot before Sam gives up himself, and he’s pretty sure you know enough of his tells to know when he’s getting tired and make an early escape so he doesn’t take the couch himself. 

“You take the bed,” he’d offered the first night, having a little trouble not making it sound like an order. By how you’d raised your eyebrow, he’d failed by a mile. “God knows where you’re sleeping these days. It’s the least I can do after dragging you all the way out here.”

“You’re the one who keeps saying he’s on vacation,” you take your bags from his hands and drop them unceremoniously on the coffee table, marking the living room territory as yours. “And I’m sure the US government will kill me if I bring you back with a fucked up back.”

He almost suggested you could share. You have before, both out of necessity and leisure, but Sam’s sure that topic’s on the list of Things Not To Talk To You About. It might be the first one up there, in all caps and underlined with bright red. 

Sam has both held you down to fuck your brains out and held your bleeding body in his hands, pressing against a gunshot wound to keep blood flow to a minimum. It’s a fucked up type of intimacy he doesn’t share with anyone else, but he’s still hesitant to bring it up. Somehow both events keep happening whether he intends for them or not. 

It’s like he’s waiting for the shoe to drop, and it finally does on the fifth day of your assignment. 

You ultimately get a lead from the USB. It guides you to search for a random code you insist it’s on a file you’d read through already. You make a noise of victory under your breath when you spot it across the table and when you shift to reach for it, your breath hitches.

It’s a quiet thing Sam wouldn’t be able to acknowledge if he weren’t good at his job, but he is. 

“What is it?” he asks, suddenly alert, fingers twitching with the urge to hover over you worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head. Whatever shadow of hesitance had fallen over you is pulled back into place, tucked away for Sam to blissfully ignore. 

You both know that shit won’t fly, but Sam thinks it’s cute you try anyway.

He stares at you and you avoid his eye long enough, face buried in the file, to know you know he’s noticed. It’s a silent request to let it pass. 

Tough fucking luck. Sam calls your name, admonishing.

“Sam,” you say right back at him in the same tone, still not looking at him. Sam grinds his teeth in annoyance, jaw tight. 

“Are you hurt?”

You shake your head. “I’m fine. You know how it is.”

It’s not a no. 

“I do know,” Sam agrees, but his mood’s a short fuse. “Are you grounded? Is that why you’re here? Because you’re hurt?”

Fucking jackpot. You exhale through your nose and tighten your jaw at the question but refuse to answer. You’re a couple of feet apart, divided by the desk filled with files and information, but somehow this is the closest he’s felt to you since you got here. 

You’d been hiding something since the beginning; taking the couch when you could’ve been sharing the bed from the start, touching him less than usual so things wouldn’t go further, and moving around the house with rigid, calculated movements.

“Manning the desk,” he says with a little too much bite, and he can physically watch your hackles rise; the annoyance in your eyes when they finally meet his, the biting of your cheek to stop yourself from rising to his sudden passive-aggressive hostility. “Handing me files, giving me intel. You’re flying halfway across the world to keep yourself out of the field.”

“Sam,” you say through gritted teeth. 

“You’re hurt,” he replies, not a question, nodding at your torso. It’s all suddenly painstakingly clear, the past week flashing through his mind like a movie from a different point of view. “And you’re hiding it from me, for some reason.”

“Is that all, Captain?” you ask, creating distance with the use of his new title in a way he despises and you know he does. You’re good at that, finding where it hurts and pressing methodically until the skin gives. Sam’s just not used to the trick being used on him. “Or is there something else about my person that you’ve figured out and have yet to enlighten me about?”

“Let me see,” he ignores you. It's easier than trying to match your level of cruel cleverness.  He stands to cross over to your side of the desk, staring down at you expectantly with arms crossed. “Come on, show me.”

“No,” you deadpan, but the way you wrap your arms carefully around yourself shows the defensiveness underneath your nonchalance. “Sam, come on, what the hell are you doing?”

“If you’re not hurt, then show me,” he insists but doesn’t reach to touch you without your permission. It’s a line he won’t cross. 

“Is that an order, sir?” you snap.

“I’m not your superior,” he replies, even though he is, technically, but not when you’re alone. Not when you’re hurt. “I’m your friend. And right now my friend is in pain, I’d like to be able to do something about it.”

“Like what?” you ask, and it’s as exhausted as it is conflictive. Thunder rumbles outside the house and inside Sam’s chest, two storms coming in. “Huh, Sam? What are you gonna do? It’s part of the damned job. Don’t tell me you’re injury-free right now.”

Sam isn’t. Both old and newer scars put a heaviness on his body he’s not supposed to carry, but he’s not the one hiding right now. 

“I can hold you,” he offers and watches the way you look away, imagining the sting in your eyes as they glisten with sudden tears. You very visibly refuse to shed them, tightening your jaw and passing saliva like it’s gravel. “If you’d let me. Let’s not pretend we haven’t done it before.”

“It’s different now.”

“Why?” he wonders, brow furrowing. He does his best to relax his stance and reaches to touch your tight fists where they lay on your lap. With his fingertips barely there on your skin, the tension bleeds out of them like magic almost against your will. “Because I’m Captain America? Because you won’t tell me where you’re stationed half the time?”

“It’s–”

“Classified,” he finishes for you, unmoved. “But you’re still you, and I’m still me. As far as I’m aware, that doesn’t change a damned thing.”

You close your eyes like the words pain you, resolve crumbling right before Sam’s eyes. “I don’t wanna fight with you.”

“Then don’t,” from Sam’s perspective, it’s as simple as that. “Let me see. Let me be with you, please. The last week has been torture.”

You let out a breath of a laugh that’s a little too miserable. “You’re telling me,” you say, and the slope of your shoulders falls from its tense, defensive curve. Sam takes it as the green light it is.   

You stand straighter as he kneels in front of you, his hands hovering over the hem of your shirt. He looks to you for permission and you give him a tight nod, staring at the wall instead of him, gulping down your anxieties.

Sam’s breath catches when he lifts your shirt and sees your torso, skin showered in black, blue, purple, and green bruises. “Jesus.”

“It’s worse than it looks,” you say automatically. Sam can’t see how that’s true. It looks like it hurts to even breathe, it’s unbelievable how you were able to hide it from him for so long. “Nothing’s broken, I swear.”

“What the hell happened?” he asks even if he knows you can’t– or won’t– answer. You sigh, and he watches blemished skin shake with the effort it takes. 

“I’m alright,” you say instead of the answer he wants, but your voice has softened and lost all fight response. It’s the most vulnerable you’ve been with him since you arrived and it has nothing to do with showing your skin. “Hey, I’m okay. That assignment’s over for good. I’m not going back there, I promise.”

The sigh of relief Sam lets out is shaky and doesn’t relinquish all the tension he’s been carrying. The possibilities of what must’ve happened are gonna haunt him long after this mission’s over. 

“I hate it,” he says, and he knows you know what he means. Not knowing where you are, spending more than half the year apart with zero contact, this unease between you that doesn’t let you be honest. 

You say, tired. “I know. Sam–”

Sam isn’t touching you– not yet. He’s careful so there’s no skin-to-skin contact, and you look at him with guarded eyes when he lowers your shirt back into place, standing up and towering over you. 

“What?”

You breathe air out of your nose, frustrated. “You know.”

A beat. “You sure?” he says, as plainly as he can with the tension that’s grown between you pulling him forward.

“Yes.”

He hums.

“Oh. You gonna let me touch you now, then?” he asks, still under the excuse of medical purposes only. But Sam can’t help the way his voice deepens, molten like honey. His eyes trail over skin that isn’t blemished: the curve of your neck, the lines of your arms, the slope of your fingers. 

You shiver under the attention, helpless to hide such a reaction to his voice. “Mmm? Honey?”

“Fuck you,” you say automatically, already opening your legs slightly for Sam to slip in between them, reaching for your jaw. You close your eyes at the touch, sighing away whatever tension remained in you. 

You’re too fucking easy, despite the fight you insisted on going through before letting yourself be touched, and something in Sam’s belly tightens at the idea of it being just for him.

Sam’s hands remain on your jaw and throat as he tilts your head up for a kiss, slow and deep, lingering. It’s not long before you open up for him, his tongue sliding into your mouth like it was always meant to be there, coaxing a whine from you while you search for steadiness and settle your hands on his belt. Not pulling, not searching for more– not yet– but keeping him close. 

The storm comes and goes and the files in the studio remain forgotten. Sam finally gets you on the bed and, better yet, with him in it. 

He’s a little too careful, hands cupping your ribs with extreme caution after finally getting rid of your shirt for good and laying you down against the sheets. You roll your eyes fondly and grab onto his wrists to direct him where you want him. 

He doesn’t complain as he takes your directions. The man will greedily take anything you give him in calloused, expert hands as he does his best to pull sounds out of you that are music to his ears. 

After it’s over, you both lay in bed, naked and breathless. You find a new scar on him and trace the ragged line of skin gently with your fingertip, touch featherlight, almost nonexistent. It’s been over half a year since you last did this, but only a couple of months since he got himself injured and stitched up by Bucky in the Brazilian jungle. “This one’s new.”

It had been a quick job, good enough considering the circumstances, which is to say Sam now has an ugly, uneven scar a couple of inches above his hipbone that saved him from bleeding out on his partner.

The memory holds no gentleness, but your fingers do. The haze of his previous orgasm leaves Sam pliant under your touch, melted against the sheets and uncaring of your scrutiny. “Barnes?”

Sam makes an affirmative noise, a valid enough question since sometimes he’s admitted to doing patchwork on himself for the sake of the mission, uncaring of how bad it hurts as long as it’s quick and efficient.

���Did it hurt?”

“Like hell,” he admits, feeling safe enough to do so in the cocoon you’ve built for yourselves. Sam runs a hand up and down your naked back as if trying to soothe the brunt of the memory. “Did the job, though. Got us out alive.”

At that, you lean to kiss the skin, only slipping a bit of tongue into it. Sam sighs, ignoring the prick of discomfort that’s trying to crawl up his spine and leaning towards the softer, more tender sentiment that takes over him whenever you get like this. It’s not easy for him to accept such gentleness, to let himself be cared for and lay there, unable to give something back.

He will, in a minute. But he knows you like him like this, and that alone pins him down in his place to let you work. It’d be hypocritical of him, he thinks as his hips twitch with renowned interest, to not let you fret after him when his own worry is what got you here in the first place.

After you’re satisfied, you trail the path Sam’s grown accustomed to, the very same you follow every time you sleep together after a terribly long amount of time: 

The knife scar under his pec from when they were chasing after Bucky, still the Winter Solider, superficial enough not to have caused concern at the time. The mark from when he got his appendix out, thinking nothing of the stabbing aches to his belly until he was doubling over in his bed and waking up half his platoon as he retched in the bathroom.

The dot on his finger where Riley accidentally stabbed him with a pencil once, sleep deprived and with two shots of whiskey on him. The wound had healed with ease but the mark made a permanent home on his skin, barely visible unless you leaned in close enough to look for it.

The scab on his knee from falling off his bike when he was six. Sarah had screeched bloody murder until their parents came out of the house to see what all the fuss was about. The scar left behind by a bullet on his right shoulder during his second tour in Afghanistan. 

The cut on his lip he got shaving for the first time is always last on your list. Sam has long stopped calling you out on it, how convenient it was that the cataloging of his scars always ended with a thorough, slow kiss to his mouth that usually bloomed into a second round. 

He found that you got skittish when he did so, pulling back into yourself and laying tensely in bed for a couple more minutes before you started looking around for your clothes, called out.

Now Sam only cups your jaw, tugs a little so it opens your mouth and he can slip in his tongue and steal a taste of your sigh. He wants you like this for as long as possible; vulnerable, unguarded, desperate to touch him and be touched back. Safe enough to know that you never have to ask for something he wants to give you so willingly. 

You always forget. The second you meet again, you have to start the whole dance over. Fish for excuses to meet each other in the middle, hoping for new scars to lengthen your time together. 

Sam isn’t a masochist by any means, and he’s not an adrenaline junkie asshat who chases the danger just to have proof on his skin that he can take all the grievances life throws at him.

But. But–

“We’re alright,” you say against his mouth, body warm and seeking on top of his. He’s mindful of your injuries but can’t help himself, the urge to touch you overrules any other instinct he owns. It makes him weak, on the field, but happy off of it. “Aren’t we? We’re gonna be alright.”

“‘Course we are, honey,” his southern charm pops out and you’re both parts equally pleased and unamused, a funny expression on your face that has him laughing as he cups the back of your neck to bring you in for another kiss. “What? What’s with the face?”

“Nothin’, pumpkin,” you imitate his accent and Sam focuses his ministrations on your jaw and neck, trying to get you to break character. “We’re gonna be just fine, sugar plum. You’re sure lookin’ very pretty tonight, peach fuzz.”

Sam splutters out a laugh. “Peach fuzz?”

“That’s what you sound like!”

“See if I ever call you something nice ever again.”

“You can’t resist me,” you say seriously, though a smile keeps trying to break your facade. “You literally lasted five days before taking me to bed. That’s on being weak, Wilson.”

“Some might say it’s a world record for me, baby,” he says, poking at your face until you show teeth, happy and at ease in his arms. “The six months before that were a little bit of a stretch, too.”

Your mood dampens a little but Sam won’t let it, nudging his nose against yours to catch your attention again. “Hey. What did I just say? We’re gonna be alright. Five days, six months, five years, it’s nothing. They mean shit when I get to see you again.”

The mention of the Snap unguards you further. He’d been gone while you tried to keep your life together, ignoring the Sam-shaped void in your surroundings. The first time you got together after he came back had been tainted by the grief of losing three of the best people you’d ever known, and he’d done his own reconnaissance of your skin as he took in new scars, new hurts that had happened and healed while he was gone.

You smile again, but it’s softer, fonder, a tender tilt of the lips for the man you managed to find in this chaotic line of work that became your whole life.

In another five days, you’ll once more be on opposite ends of the world without any idea of when you’ll see each other again or what new marks you’ll have on your skin that describe your time apart. You haven’t even put a name to this– this relationship that both of you are still too hesitant to define as such, but that’s okay. 

It’s okay. It’s more than enough. The path of scars will be there to take when you meet again, permanent proof that you’ve survived to find the way to each other over and over and over again. The map that leads to you, every goddamn time.

___

hi!!!

hope you like this one! i’ve been putting this fic on the back burner for almost a month now, but i’m so glad to finally have finished it! i hope to put out the tommy miller sequel for dial drunk next week before school starts :)

thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, commenting, etc.!

<3

[brsb4hls]

Right, ok, philosophical meta time:

Loki had to do what he did!

Let's look at the last confrontation with HWR and go from there:

HWR: The coutcome to this equation remsins the same. You lose.

Loki: I know. I know.

HWR: Shake it off.

Loki: I'll change the equation. I'll break your loom.

HWR: But the loom prevents a brutal war. Where nothing survives. Not even the sacred timeline. Ok, let's try it this way: Every, every nonent of peace you've ever experienced was yours, because I was here. Alone. At the end of time. Keeping watch.

Loki: I understand.

HWR: If you're gonna break the loom, what do you think would happen to your friends?

Mhm, I made the tough choices, that's why I get the big chair. I keep us safe. Can't you see what I'm offering here is mercy?

Loki: For me? Or for you? No! I'll find another way.

HWR: OK. And around and around and around we go. Let's see. Make the hard choice. Break the loom and you cause a war that kills us all. Game over. Or kill her (Sylvie).

And we protect what we can. What are you gonna do?

So here's the dilemma:

The loom is actively killing branches, even if there is no tva, that steps in to prune. If no branches get pruned, the loom overloads and erases all the new branches. So with or without the loom, only the secret timeline exists.

HWR rigged the game in a way that Loki cannot win here. But something doesn't add up. If the loom overloads and deletes, there cannot be new Kangs emerging, even if Loki breaks the loom. With the loom acting as fail safe, there will only ever be the sacred timeline.

Because once broken, the loom destroys every branch and the sacred timeline just resets.

Meaning HWR incarcerated the whole universe, basically put it in a small corsett forever, and everytime a branch tries to break free, everyone on that branch dies.

Now, if Loki found a way to override the failsafe (which he did in the end) and free the universe, there is the danger of Kang variants showing up, destroying everything INCLUDING the sacred timeline.

So HWR's argument here is to better keep a tiny universe with a smaller amount of beings alive, then have no universe at all.

Which is also what Mobius argues for involuntarily (since he doesn't see the full picture at that moment).

He tells Loki killing one person and keeping others alive is the right choice, although it is hard and will scar you.

That' s one ethic approach. It's basically utilitarianism. The right choice is the one that benefits most.

Now Sylvie challenges that with another concept by telling Loki that he has no right to declare the sacred timeline superior to other lines, because lives on the sacred timeline can also be miserable and they are predestined. So someone who has a shitty life on the sacred timeline has no way of changing it ever.

Nobody can make a different choice, everyone is stuck. Loki for example, has to attack Thanos with what's basically a kitchen knife, despite being a powerful magic user and literal god, because that is supposed to happen.

The Loki that cast an illusion, hid from Thanos and survived, got pruned.

Apart from taking away people's choices, there is no new life, ever. Only a never ending circle.

So Sylvie argues, that instead of keeping a small amount of people safe, but basically miserable, let everyone chose their own destiny, even if it kills them in the end.

They would at least die being free.

Which is another ethical approach that values every single life and every choice.

And Loki choses freedom. For everyone but him. That's his burden.

But he is giving everyone an unimaginable gift.

He overrides the failsafe by powering the branches himself und ultimately defeats HWR. Which seemed impossible, given the scenario HWR set up.

Now for the Kangs that might destroy the multiverse:

That does not have to happen. The only thing set in stone is the sacred timeline.

HWR talks about the multiversal war in 1x06.

He says his variants kept peace with each other at first, then started a war, that almost

destroyed everything. Almost. Until HWR ended it by using the power of Alioth, the creature he discovered by chance, to built the tva and force the universe into the sacred timeline.

So can we really trust HWR?

No.

Why not?

1. He admitted to being afraid of his variants.

2. He did not plan on ending the war, it was a coincidence.

3. The war almost destroyed everything. It could have ended differently.

4. The war is only one possible outcome. There are infinite ways this could have gone.

5. If the post credit scene in Ant Man 3 referrs to HWR, he is the 'Exiled One'

An outcast. He could have exiled himself, like he said, or he is lying.

Look at all the possibilities in Endgame, where exactly one chance existed of beating Thanos, even if it seemed impossible.

How can we know (without a Dr Strange going through everything) that HWR offers the only option?

HWR cannot be trusted and the natural state of the universe is to be free and to expand indefinitely.

Free will is also a philosophical and religious core theme.

Free will enables people to make the wrong choice, but also to do right. It should be up to every individual themselves, otherwise they cannot evolve.

They're stuck.

And what does Mobius tell Loki his actual purpose was in 1x01?

To inspire people to become the best version of themselves!

And he did. But on his own terms and in a beautiful way.

[askatrigenderlgbt]

Team Captain v.s. Team Ironman

I've been wanting to write this for a little while, but I wanted to do some rewatching and research on the topic again.

This is my view on the topic of who was right, and who was wrong.

My answer? They were both right.

Let me explain:

Tony, after all the damage done that leads to this conflict, wants and does sign the accords. He wants the Avengers to be held accountable for the damages they cause and to have some restrictions so supers can't do anything they want willy nilly. He has the point here. People need rules and structure to avoid anarchy and chaos, to avoid things just ending up a mess.

Steve didn't want to sign the accords because his point was that the avengers couldn't be held down waiting for the green light, not when lives were at stake. His argument is made further when you take in the question of: 'who could actually hold this power?' Hydra invaded SHEILD, the government isn't safe either, and lord knows how corrupt politics are anyway. Hell, after Thanos snapped the government had to go make a consensus. Nobody could hold the avengers when lives were on the line.

Steve and Tony are both right. But they end up also being wrong too.

Tony is blinded by his overwhelming guilt at this point. After all he lost, the new trauma, and dealing with everything, Tony is hyper focused on redemption here. He wants to make up for the things he did, for the people lost in the cross fire. But he ends up not seeing the issues presented to him about signing the accords.

Signing the accords is a problem because, like I talked about with Steve's point, no one can simply have a leash on the heros. If they have to wait then people die, if they are leashed then Hydra would have been pulling the strings. Hydra invaded SHEILD and the government, if they pulled the strings then it's over. Not to mention that the person pushing the accords is General Ross, the man who hunted down Bruce to use him- to make the super soldier serum. General Ross is not an ally, he is a threat.

Steve was also wrong too. Avengers can't have full freedom to do whatever they please. Having powers being used recklessly and causing unnecessary damages to surroundings isn't a good thing. It's a risk to the people he wants to protect.

So Both are right and wrong. Mainly cause this conflict is complex, when you see the risks and factors of why things couldn't work one way or the other. But also remember, this is a conflict created by design too. Zemo had a part to play in this issue. Playing the game just right that would cause the leaders of the avengers to reach a boiling point on the argument that they split.

What I personally feel is that because of the trauma, pain, and exhaustion the two of them were dealing with when the accords were just presented that they were even in a good healthy mindset to even begin dealing with any of it. Both were stressed, dealing with issues on all sides, and couldn't see past the black and white view of absolutes. Steve and Tony were stuck on a chest board as pawns and both were fighting to win. Only we know how this ends up going.

I am Team Captain America AND Team Iron Man.

Cause in the end they are still a team, and I don't pick sides of my team- I choose all of them.

Bonus~

As an added part to this post I wanted to share my thoughts on Steve lying to Tony about his parents. It was wrong and unjustified, yes but I'm not talking about that. That is a simple fact. I want to explain my view on Steve's reasoning for this decision: He wanted to protect both friends of his. He wanted to protect Bucky cause he was brainwashed and innocent, he didn't want him hurt or kill for it. He wanted to protect Tony cause already he was traumatized, beaten, and utterly exhausted from so much happening. He didn't want Tony to have another thing on his mind that could potentially cause him to snap a part.

In the end it didn't matter, Tony finds out and everything falls from there. Steve here, from my pov, is the people who have the purest intentions and want the best for us, but end up making decisions that only harm us in the end unintentionally. When we make choice that we think help, but don't.

In conclusion: Do I think one or the other is wrong? No, both are right and wrong for their own reasons- making the answer a more complicated discussion.

Do I think Steve or Tony deserves the bashing they get from either side of the conflict? No. They are fundamentally human characters who wanted to do the right thing but were blinded by their own issues and too twisted and turned to properly communicate things.

Should either one be hated for these choices they made? No. They made the choice they did but in the end worked to fix what had been ripped apart, doing their best to mend that scar. They were adults about it and made up while finally having a more healthier mental state to deal with everything.

Are both still my favorite characters and ship? Fuck yes.

[worstloki]

currently going through my fic folder again. i just finished another ragnarok fix-it fic and like, i'm just wondering what the deal is with the tesseract. seriously, was loki just supposed to leave it to float in space, ripe for the taking? it's such a non-issue to me, the only problem here is the horrible timing with thanos' arrival- i will forever hate thor for calling loki 'the worst' over that and letting it be the last thing he ever tells loki. that was fucked up.

i feel like since the planet was about to blow up (see: literally be engulfed in flames and explode via giant sword) taking the Tesseract was... the most easily accessible choice for escape. Unless someone wanted Loki to die causing Surtur to happen there shouldn't be much of a moral argument about taking the Tesseract.

You can't blame him for Thanos showing up because there's no indication that Loki having the Tesseract caused Thanos to show up. Thanos has been after the stones for years anyway.

Thor seeing it that way I can accept, because he has the right to be upset and unreasonable, but Loki taking the Tesseract was fine and made sense. Acting like he was being sneaky and conniving about it makes less sense because what other option was there?

[mrn2electricboogaloo]

I’ve noticed lately that despite marvel and especially the MCU being a cultural juggernaut (in the west at least), its villains don’t seem to have made their way into the popular conscience. Like take Iron Man for an example, if you asked the average person in the west to name an Iron Man villain they wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. I’ve been getting into comics recently (though that leans heavily towards DC which is certainly effecting things) and liked Iron Man as a kid and the only Iron Man villain I can name is the Mandarin and alcohol.

And that seems to carry over to other characters too. For Thor I only know Loki. Captain America I only know Red Skull (and the Winter Soldier maybe idk what his status is). The Hulk I only know Red Hulk. The X-Men I only know Magneto and the sentinels. Plus there’s Thanos who isn’t anyone in specific’s villain, I think. And this is who I know, not who I think have achieved cultural relevance.

Spider-Man is the major exception, Doc Ock, Green Goblin, and Venom all have cultural relevance (also Morbius if you want to count memes) and I know plenty more.

Now compare that to DC comics. Almost all of Batman’s core Rouges Gallery (with the exceptions of Ra’s Al Ghul and maybe Clayface) are iconic. The Joker is like the supervillain. With Superman, everyone knows Lex Luthor, and while they might not fully be known as Superman villains, Bizzaro and Brainiac have become. My argument does kinda fall apart here since I don’t think any Wonder Woman or Green Lantern villains have permeated the popular consciousness, and you can add the Flash to that list if you don’t count those Reverse Flash memes as being in the popular consciousness, but I think the success of Batman and Superman’s rouges make up for that. And this is without a massive cinematic universe with blockbuster after blockbuster.

Tl;dr, it’s odd that Marvel villains haven’t entered the popular consciousness as well as DC villains have. (Or maybe they have and I’m out of touch)

[romanoffsbish]

I will NOT be posting the nonsense left in my inbox tagging/calling others out. To take this a step further I’m actually not posting any hate ever again. I don’t need to defend myself (or others) to miserable strangers on this app.

I do however want to respond to the topic at hand because by default you are calling me ace-phobic as well and that’s a falsehood.

If you have a problem with how we write a fictional character (that isn’t actually canon as anything because MCU and Marvel Comics are not tied together by a blood vessel) then you can easily leave our blogs behind. You’re not shackled to any fic writers page. Yelena Belova is comically known as an enemy of Natasha, not her sister. Alexei was her husband. Natasha once ate Peter Parker. Thanos tore Tony in half.

The point I’m making is comic /=/ movie canon.

——

To also let you know, there’s huge talk that Yelena & Bucky are romantically involved in their newest project. People also saw the chemistry between Flo/Hailee and shipped Yelena with Kate before the Ace discourse had started (and continued to b/c it is their right).

There’s nothing but love for those who fall under the Ace umbrella here on my blog, and I say it that way because it is a spectrum, not a one size fits all identity. Start by understanding that ace doesn’t mean celibate. For you, and others it might, but for many it doesn’t. So the no smut does not even add to your argument. I’m aware that Yelena being hinted as ace might have excited you, given you a sense of visibility you’ve never seen in the mainstream (and you all do deserve such types of representation) but turning a Tumblr fandom toxic because they don’t see her the same isn’t fair. Especially because there’s no “proof” of her identity, “Probably more likely to identify as asexual,” is not a canon statement. If you’re here because a single Black Widow writer made an assumption based on a solo project they were involved in then you’re also not going to hit with anything credible because these writers do not talk to the heads when they make comments. They also don’t dictate a character’s future arc.

For further discourse I will defer you to this reddit link written by an individual who seems to identify somewhere within the spectrum.

I myself have written Yelena in all facets. I have written romantic, 1 smut, and I’m in the process of putting together a requested platonic one. It is not a malicious way to erase her potential aro/ace identity. It’s just to see her how I do.

Fanfic has always been about taking characters and running with your desires. Natasha has been turned into a vampire, witch, werewolf, lawyer, CEO, princess, stripper, Lesbian/Bi and the list goes on because interpretations vary wildly. Nothing we write is canon to the world, it is only to the writer / and interested readers.

[matchbookarmy]

The War is Over and We Are... by Hecate

Rating: Teen

Summary: After they beat Thanos, Steve and Tony muddle through what is left of their relationship.

Ending: Open/Ambiguous but hopeful with a hint of Happy for Now.

Why I'm Reccing: So, I'm not sure why this one comes up at the beginning of the alphabet. Maybe there's a space in the title or something, I don't know. But I am so so so pleased that this was the first fic I read upon returning to Stony fic.

I actually almost didn't click on it, and I waffled back and forth for a bit, because while this takes place after Endgame (edit: this was actually published *before* Endgame came out, but after Infinity War, but for me, it still works just fine with canon if we just ignore the last 15-ish minutes of the movie -- which I do!) , it is ultimately a Civil War fix-it. And I'm always so nervous with those, because a lot of them tend to paint Steve as being completely in the wrong and that's just very far from my own take.

But this fic doesn't do that! Steve feels guilt for the role that he played in Civil War, and everything that came after it, feels guilt about not trusting Tony more at the time -- but he also still has his own feelings about the things that Tony did (including in Age of Ultron). Not a lot of CW fix-its focus on the fact that it happened in the wake of AoU, and I'm glad that this one did, because I think it provides another necessary layer and nuance. Not that this dwells on Ultron, but it does come up as Steve is contemplating how they started to fall apart, and what he wants his relationship with Tony to look like in the future.

Y'all, this fic.... I haven't even finished reading it yet, but I had to start typing this up because I knew it was going to be my first rec. It is just an amazing character portrait of Steve (and also Tony, in a way, through Steve's thoughts about Tony) that feels incredibly in character for Steve in a way that stays true to who he is in canon, while also adding more depth to his character.

Since this is ultimately a reconciliation(ish) fic, it kinda gives those early 2012 post-Avengers getting to know one another vibes in parts of the fic (though everything is tinged with heartache and grief -- even the "happy" moments). Which I actually think is sort of a nice bookend to their relationship. And while this fic is short (only 4.5k) and so never actually gives us a complete reconciliation, we are left with hope that they will find their way back into one another's hearts, that they will work through their guilt, and their trust issues, and find a way to make it work this time.

I don't know. It just feels like a very realistic portrayal of where they would be post-Thanos. And the thing that I really like about this fic is that, in staying true to Steve's canonical characterization, we can feel him holding himself back from Tony, keeping his emotions close to his chest, and just how much it's hurting him to do that. In fact, we see a lot of Steve's recklessness in this fic, the way he's almost careless with himself. Steve is not a perfect character, he is flawed, and I wouldn't want him any other way, and this fic hits his flaws perfectly.

And look, I just need to add something. This fic is, in my opinion, extremely underrated. It only has 146 kudos, but whatever. I've read some truly atrocious fics with thousands of kudos, so kudos aren't everything. But when I went into the comments, the very first comments were from people complaining about the fic, about how Steve didn't do enough for Tony in the fic, and frankly being outright argumentative with the author (this argument made up the bulk of the fic's 18 comments), and that.... that really sucks. Cause this was a truly beautiful fic, and the author didn't deserve that. No author does, but it was especially shitty to see it on such a brilliant character study of Steve.

Anyway, if you give the fic a chance, and I really hope you do, especially if you are a Steve fan, please show the author some love.

~.~.~

Follow me on my journey as I make my way alphabetically through every Stony fic on AO3.

[night-dark-woods]

Hello Tis the book anon, are u bready for the final shape in less than a week (holy shit 5 days???)

GOD. im very very excited for the new enemy types (i wasn't playing the last time we got a new faction in forsaken! i started tail end of worthy) i think a lot of the design is VERY cool and im very concerned abt the potential of unstop husks. nightmare fuel.

i think prismatic is gonna be fun- ive seen ppl worried abt it breaking the game or whatever BUT i think bungie is in general pretty good with balance (for the casual player) and when it isnt balanced idk i think its usually unbalanced in a super fun way. i am do NOT have the minmaxer's spirit though so i am sure i will not be utilizing it's full potential "correctly" but ill be having fun and thats what im there for.

story-wise... eh? i think they ARE going to land the story they are telling. i just dont *like* the story they are telling. it feels very marvel to me (derogatory) and i dislike immensely the literalization of the concept of the final shape. (oooh they've been ~finalized~ okay why dont we just have a thanos snap situation. what is this *doing* that is different from that).

not to sound like a broken record but i think seth dickinson was putting down something MUCH more interesting when they wrote BoS and unveiling than. this. its very NEAT, it makes sense with the story beats they've been working on, but i think it... flattens the delightfully complicated metaphysics of destiny in a way that pisses me off. i dont think the final shape is meant to be literal. i think the final shape is a way of being like the sword logic is. i think the witness is a neat little deus ex and i think they will tell the story of the witness as they see it Just Fine, but i dont have to like it.

like, i dont have an easily articulatable alternative but im ALWAYS rotating in my mind that the two (three?) beings that escaped the flower game are the vex and the worm gods (& ahamkara?). and i DONT think unveiling is written by the witness. i WILL die on that fucking hill. swagless graycale megamind "no bitches" mcu villain did NOT write that insidious tempting little love letter.

anyway. some relevant lore excerpts connected by red string but no real arguments in my head:

They're majestic, I said. They have no purpose except to subsume all other purposes. There is nothing at the center of them except the will to go on existing, to alter the game to suit their existence. They spare not one sliver of their totality for any other work. They are the end. (The Final Shape; Unveiling)

&

SHAPES AND GLIDERS. I dreamt of existence as a game of cellular automata. In this metaphor, there were only two things: shapes in the game world and the rules of the game world. The rules were the rules of Life and Death. I understood that the sword was the desire to escape existence as a shape in the game and to become the rule that made the shapes. This rule said only "live" or "die"—it had no other outputs. It could not keep secrets. Against it was the desire to become a shape so complex that it could within itself play other games. (Tyrannocide I)

like! the final shape is a shape of THOUGHT. a philosophy of existence *made* real in the way that the vex and the hive effect the worlds around them and exert that philosophy through force of will, bc the metaphysics of the destiny universe allows and operates based on that leveraging of will over the physical world. the philosophical and the real are DEEPLY entwined in a way thats REALLY REALLY INTERESTING and i think its BORING if the final shape the darkness/the witness (bc i do think bungie is conflating them! but imo the traveller is not the gardener and the witness is not the winnower. i will die on this hill) is seeking is to. make everyone into a cube. i joked abt the final shape being a square but i didnt mean it! hello? can anyone hear me? is this thing on?

anyway. tantrum over. i think its fun that cayde and crow are getting to be a little faggy together. i think they should kiss about it.

im excited for the new content release format (episodes?), bc i think a LOT of the issues with the narrative are due to the seasonal model.

i think sjur is finally coming back theres NO way they would bring her up this much and not bring her back. i think in a Nine-themed season. downside is it will inevitably result in what my dear friend jackie and i have been referring to as "hashtag monogamy win" where sjur and mara get back together as a mirror to o14 and then mara tells petra shes always thought of her as a sister or worse a daughter. but if thats the price i have to pay for sjur. thats okay. the writers room is wrong so frequently i just do whatever i want. its like being a comics fan at this point.

also clearly SOMEONE knows what they are doing bc that radio message at the end of last season was. the most in-character thing since probably marasenna lmfao!!! so i tentatively have hope about the writing of it, and regardless am PERFECTLY capable of living blissfully in jackie & my mind palace version of whatever they give us, bc what we are cooking is beautiful and true and divinely inspired. and im very certain seth would approve.

[bythenineshards]

i think the reason which makes me angry about acotar & its fandom as a whole is the double standard that exists in the fanbase. rhysand sexually assaulted feyre? 'it's a dark romance so you should go read your vanilla stories & also he did it for her own good'. but when someone says 'well, if it's a dark romance, surely we can have a tamlin redemption arc 'cause he & rhys are the same 'cause he was also protecting feyre 'for her own good'', they'll come at you with pitchforks about how feyre needs someone who is 'feminist' to have a 'healthy relationship' with. like WHICH ONE IS IT??

i am in the hannibal, killing eve & interview with the vampire fandoms. i do like me some mutually toxic relationships that makes you look through characters psyches & pick apart motives & themes.

but acotar goes for this weird stance in its own morality that it doesn't make an ounce of sense. it would've made sense if feyre had left tamlin even if they had a healthy relationship to go join rhysand & then the story could've had a darker turn there. that could've been the basis of a dark romance. or feyre & tamlin's relationship being built on the same lines of toxicity & feyre betraying/hurting tamlin to join rhysand because she wants more power. & tamlin be an equal adversary for them (not antagonist). then the story be continued from there. give me moral ambiguity so that i don't know who to root for. these kinds of things happen in adult high fantasies all the time.

but sjm chooses to compare two equally bad (or 'morally gray', as the stans love to call it) characters and be like 'see, this one is better!!' but if someone points out that they're equally bad you have to watch them do all kinds of unnecessary mental gymnastics & say 'b-but it is a dark romance with dark themes & it's adult!! and rhysand is MORALLY GREY!!! if you can't handle it don't read it!' or the argument of 'it's fiction & they're fae!! you can't apply real world morals to it!!' like sure but where is the CONSISTENCY???

Hey Anon! I could've sworn I answered this. But apparently I didn't.

I can't stand the justifying of Rhys' deeds. Dark Romance books don't feel the need to do that. The guy doesn't need the justifications and hero framing. The books are thrown around as feminist or empowering. The point is that the relationship is a toxic dynamic. Maas has said in interviews that she writes healthy romances. She views this as a healthy relationship.

You know what's funny? The road to hell is paved with what? Good. Intentions. The best villains are people who meant well but had evil methods to achieve that goal. Rhys did x______ because it was for....? Doesn't matter, still did it. Thanos (in the movies) killed half the universe because it would create more resources for those left. Good intention. Horrible idea considering he had the power to create more resources.

You're right that there were so many other angles this could've gone to make it better. Personally I believe the best idea would've been to just have them grow apart. Cuz that happens and it wouldn't have taken Tamlin being abusive to do. Feyre could've fallen for Rhys knowing what he did was wrong. I'm sorry but there was no excuse or justification for working for Amarantha. Rhys should've been punished. However that would mean more work than comparing a retconned Tamlin to Rhys and made Feyre actually flawed.

Ugh... this series... so glad I'm not buying anymore of her books. You know, it's so weird how easily impressed I am with books that do the bare minimum effort to be decent after reading these.