#Amber did for Wilson what House tried many times

[malpractice-husbands]

They had to kill Amber, because otherwise Wilson and House would finally get mentally healthy and even acknowledge their feelings and that just can't be, we're only in s4!

[oldmanffucker]

my first instinct upon seeing this was to get angry and want to hit this person with hammers, but actually I want to talk about this.

this post, and I didn't even want to click in the read the rest bc it made me to sad to see, is saying that Wilson and Amber only dated for a maximum of three months, so should he really be this torn up about her loss?

So, as a grief support specialist and house fan, let's talk about it.

First and foremost, it's the depth, not the length, of a relationship that matters. Quality over quantity, all of that. Of course. But also, if we look at Amber and Wilson's relationship itself, this is kind of the first time Wilson is in a relationship that feels really good to him. Amber doesn't just want Wilson bc she needs him and needs to be put first by him, she wants him to take care of himself too. He's being challenged for the first time (in a romantic context) (canonically) to not put himself on the back burner for everyone else, but to think about what Wilson wants. House, of course, does this too, but in different ways. Which is also to say that Amber is a revelation for him because she is like House--House who is his longest and arguably only real friend, the person he trusts the most, is most able to be himself around. And now he's found this person who he can feel all that in a romantic and sexual context too.

Which is all to say that this relationship wasn't like any other three month fling he had, this one had a depth to it from the very beginning that was really important and profound to Wilson, and was changing some parts of himself in a way that was really kind of life altering, even as it was also pretty subtle in many ways to the casual viewer.

This, plus the fact that her death itself was really sudden, very traumatic, and prolonged (a couple days and many really traumatic failed attempts to save her life, including his best friend risking his life for her), really adds up to someone being profoundly affected by this loss.

But beyond this, Wilson did not only experience the loss of Amber with her death. There are losses we grieve beyond simply dying. The whole experience before finding out she was even missing and hurt, of seeing House without memory, of even for a little while thinking they may have had an affair, of watching House kill himself (literally) to bring back his memories - this portion of the situation alone is an experience of a loss of safety. He's realizing that life is random, and terrifying in a whole new way than he may have known it before. His best friend was in a bus accident. Life is random and he could have died. There is no guaranteed safety. His best friend who knows everything suddenly knows nothing. A loss of the status quo, of what he's assumed is the way things are. he's watching his best friend go to extreme lengths in order to capture his memories. he's watching his best friend fucking die on a bus floor as he tries to revive him with his boss. Loss of control, loss of the norm, loss of the future they could have had if none of this happened.

THEN.!! He's made aware that Amber was involved in all of this. And we don't know where she is or how she's doing. He's now been introduced to ambiguous loss (which he has experienced at great length with his brother who went missing, and is now experiencing again). Now they have to find Amber. Okay and now they've found her and she's in a coma and really on the brink of death. And this too is an ambiguous loss of another variety. He's experiencing both sides of ambiguous loss about Amber back to back (1. Physical absence and psychological presence (ex. someone missing/estranged) 2. Physical presence and psychological absence (ex. parent w dementia, someone in a coma))

He then has to skip over the grieving part and jump into problem solving and trying to keep her alive. and then his boy best friend has to risk his life for amber and wilson and almost die. And then Wilson has to realize that now, his kind of technically-alive-but-not girlfriend, he has to let her go. And she's woken up and he has mere moments to say his goodbyes and I love you's.

And ALL OF THAT is just the loss itself.

Then he is "grieving" or "mourning" in the way that is generally understood by the average person. If you ask the average person (esp in the US) what grief is, they'd usually point to this--after someone dies when you're sad--and none of the many paragraphs of grief and loss grappling I wrote about just before that.

The average bereavement leave is 3 days. Grief will invariably last more than three days. The amount of time we see Wilson grieving is frankly, really fucking regular. Even for a death less fraught and traumatic (subjectively) than this one.

Besides all of this, there are a number of different grief styles, and I think that Wilson's grief style is that of the Intuitive, or Heart, Griever (isn't that just perfect? I wonder if the writers knew that when they named the episode Wilson's Heart...).

This type of griever is more overtly emotional than the Intellectual, or Head, Griever (the other 2 styles are the Blended, or Head & Heart Griever, and the Dissonant, or Head vs Heart Griever). But is again, really common! Perhaps the asker of this original Reddit question is a head griever, or a dissonant griever, or perhaps even someone who has never yet had to grieve, and has only been fed the myths about grief, and they're trying to make sense of such a large grief.

There is no right way to grieve, there is no correct length of time that that grieving should last. There's no correct amount of time you are allowed to know someone before you grieve their death or pain. The way you grieve is the way you need to grieve, you simply have to try to honor it.

(I don't have a reddit so I can't respond to this directly, but feel free to link this in the responses to the post itself if you feel so inclined)

[housethemd]

One Life For Another

(What if Amber had been the one to survive the bus crash instead of House? Snapshots of Wilson’s life after House. Wilson/Amber, eventual House/Wilson. Just read and you’ll understand.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where’s House?”

Amber asks, shortly after her eyes open. Wilson smooths back her hair, thinking she’s just confused, concussed.

“Shh, you were in a bus crash. You’ve been unconscious for nearly 24 hours. You’re going to be okay though.” He reassures her, kissing her forehead.

“Where’s House?” She repeats.

That’s how they find out House was in that crash too. He’d forgotten his wallet at the bar, so he’d been taken to Princeton General as a John Doe. That’s why Wilson only got the call about Amber.

When Wilson gets there, House only has a few hours left. The damage is too extensive. He’d need multiple organ transplants to save him, and he qualifies for none of them because of his addiction. Conceptually, Wilson knows that House would be unlikely to survive regardless.

Amber checks herself out of PPTH AMA, refusing not to be at her boyfriend's side. House is in and out of consciousness, the high doses of Morphine he’s being given make him drowsy.

It’s 3am when House wakes up for the last time. He’s surprisingly lucid, and Wilson knows what that means. He’s seen it time and time again in his patients. It’s like the universe grants them one last chance to say their goodbyes, to make their peace.

“Always knew I’d go first.” House’s voice is rough and quiet. Wilson has to lean in close to hear him.

“Me too, I didn’t think it would be quite so soon though.” Wilson laughs through his tears.

“On the contrary, I think I’ve lived longer than I was supposed to.” House says.

Wilson knows he’s talking about the infarction. He always knew House felt he should have died then, but Wilson always tried to reassure him that it obviously wasn’t his time, and besides, misanthropic bastards are supposed to live forever, aren’t they?

“Oh Greg.” Wilson is starting to shake as he fights the urge to break down.

“S’okay Jimmy.” He soothes.

“Cut throat bitch.” He addresses Amber now.

“Yeah House?” She’s wiping her own tears away, watching someone die is always hard, especially when it’s someone your loved one loves so much.

“Take care of Jimmy for me, okay?”

She finds she can only nod.

They all know it’s time. No one wants to say it, but they all know.

“I love you, Greg.” Wilson says, squeezing House’s hand and leaning close.

“Love you too, Jimmy. You’ve been the bestest friend a fucked up guy like could have asked for.”

Wilson can’t respond through the sobs. House’s eyes are glassy and unfocused. Wilson leans his face on House’s shoulder. His friend is dying.

“See ya, boy wonder.” The words are drawn out and slow, as House says them with his last breaths.

The monitors alarm as House flatlines. Amber rubs circles on Wilson’s back as he sobs loudly into his dead best friend's shoulder.

———————

Wilson gives the eulogy at House’s funeral. It's an open casket. House’s parents had his body dressed in a dark gray suit with a white shirt and a black tie. Wilson hates that they put House in a tie. House always hated ties. They should have put him in a blue shirt, not a white one. He always looked best in blue, it brought out his eyes. Not that you can see his eyes now.

He talks about how House was a healer, how many lives he’d saved that no one else could. How he cared about people, but only when no one was looking. How much he’ll miss, how much he misses him.

He sobs quietly as they lower the casket into the ground. He doesn’t want to make a scene, but if he’s leaning heavily on Foreman, no one says anything about it. Amber never lets go of his hand.

Blythe comes up to him and thanks him, “For being such a good friend to Greg.” He thanks her, tells her that her son was a very special man. He doesn’t know how to tell her that for everything he did for House, House did just as much for him.

——————

A year goes by.

Amber encourages James to talk about House. She knows how important that relationship was to him, and she never wants him to feel as though she’s forgotten. She doesn’t want him to think she expects him to forget.

They buy a house in the suburbs. It has three bedrooms, a large backyard, and a massive living room. It’s perfect for housing a baby grand piano. Despite the fact neither of them can play it, James keeps it.

He kept all of House’s instruments, they were all incredibly important to House and James couldn’t bear to see them go; there was so little that was truly important to House. But while the guitars get put away in cases and stored, James wants the piano displayed. After the movers had left, James just stared at it for a while. Eventually he said,

“He used to play for me when I’d ask. He was quite talented. It was… nice.” Before he went back to unpacking boxes.

Three months after they move into their home, they go out for a night on the town and James gets down on one knee. She says yes, but also says she won’t change her name. No way will she be the fourth Mrs. Wilson.

That night she wakes at 3:30am to an empty bed and the occasional sound of piano keys. She pulls on the shirt James discarded when they tumbled into bed before she creeps just far enough down the stairs to be able to hear him without being seen.

“I missed you a lot today. I asked Amber to marry me. She said yes, but she’s keeping her name. Thinks ‘Mrs. Wilson’ is cursed or something. I know you’d agree with her.”

There is the sound of piano keys being played randomly.

“It won’t be the same. Getting married without you there. I know it’s silly, I’ve done this three times before, but it’s a big day and I wish I could have my best friend by my side.”

Amber creeps back up the stairs. She’s happy James talks to House. She knows his therapist suggested it, and she’s glad to see he’s listening.

——————

Their wedding is small. They end up not doing wedding parties because James can’t bring himself to have anyone but House as his best man. Amber doesn’t mind. At the reception they light a candle “for those who couldn’t be with us” but it’s really just for House.

———————

Eighteen months after their wedding Wilson is standing in one of the PPTH delivery rooms.

“It’s a boy!” The doctor doing the delivery announces.

As Amber dozes that night, Wilson cradles the small bundle that is his son. He looks down at him with awe. The birth certificate sits next to him on the side table, signed by both him and Amber. It reads:

Michael Gregory Wilson-Volkais

He’d been worried about asking Amber to name their son after House. But she’d only smiled at him, and said she thought Gregory made a lovely middle name.

———————-

“Dad, who’s that with you in all the pictures?”

Michael is ten, and they are flipping through a photo album Amber just completed. She insisted they include pictures from before they met, because she was in her mid thirties and he was in his early 40’s when they met, meaning they both had a hell of a lot of life before each other.

“That’s your Uncle Greg.” Wilson answers, as they all stare down at a collage of images of himself and Greg.

“But I thought you only had two brothers, Uncle David and Uncle Danny.” Michael says, confused.

“Greg wasn’t my brother. We met at a medical conference when I was 28, and after that he was my best friend.”

“If he’s your best friend, why haven’t I ever met him?” Michael questions.

Wilson lets out a deep sigh, putting his arm around his son.

“Because he died, Buddy. Before you were born.”

“Oh.” Michael hangs his head, clearly feeling bad. The boy was cursed with his father’s empathy.

“It’s okay. It’s nice to talk about him. Did you know you’re named after him? Your middle name ‘Gregory’ is after your Uncle Greg. Gregory was his full first name.” Wilson tells him.

Michael thinks that’s pretty cool, and they move on to other pictures in the album. That night however, Wilson sits down with a glass of scotch and the album. He sips his drink and reminisces about the moment each picture captures, and all ones that weren’t captured on film.

———————-

At sixty-five Wilson lies in a hospital bed. His wife of twenty-three years is on one side of him, and his twenty-one year old son is on the other. Dying of cancer isn’t how he pictured his life ending, but having family around him makes it somewhat bearable, or maybe that’s the morphine.

He hates to leave his son so early, but that’s the danger of having kids later in life he supposes. Michael is only in his last year of his undergraduate degree - premed. He wants to be an oncologist like his old man. Wilson wonders if watching him die of cancer will change his mind.

He’s said his goodbyes, and slowly light and sound fades away. Strangely, or maybe not, his last thought is not of his wife or son, but of Greg House.

See you soon, old friend.

———————

“Wasn’t expecting to see you for another twenty years at least.”

He recognizes that voice. As he slowly opens his eyes he realizes he recognizes his surroundings too. It’s a forest in upstate New York. He and House used to go backpacking here. They’d spend weekends camped out, cooking everything over their campfire and sleeping side by side in sleeping bags in a two person tent.

He finds the source of the voice seated on a tree stump, and there he is.

“House.” Is the only word he manages.

“In the flesh. Well not really, but you know what I mean.” House smiles and laughs.

He looks like he did the night they met, dark hair and unshaven face. Jeans and a band t-shirt under a leather jacket. Wilson looks down at himself and realizes he’s similarly dressed, his own jeans and McGil sweatshirt. He touches his face and realizes he’s also back to the age he was that night.

“I missed you.” He tells House. It’s true. He didn’t realize how much until right now.

“Come on Jimmy, walk with me.”

House takes him down a narrow path that leads them to a small lake. Wilson remembers it from their camping trips. The only difference is now there is a small cottage next to it.

“So, what have you been up to?” House asks. Like they aren’t dead, like this isn’t some strange afterlife they find themselves occupying.

“Not much. Married Amber. Had a son. Named him Michael Gregory, after you.”

They stare at each other for a moment before bursting out into stomach aching laughter. After they finally stop they wrap their arms around each other in a tight hug. They never hugged much when they were alive, but now it feels right.

“What got you?” House asks softly in his ear.

“Cancer.” Wilson tells him.

“Wow. That’s… ironic.” House says as they pull away.

“Yeah. Yeah it is.”

They make their way into the cottage. House will give him a tour of it, and when the sun begins to set in their version of heaven they’ll lay down together in one bed without question.

In life they never seemed to get things right, and then their time together was cut short.

In death they’ll get it right.

[queerheadcanoncentral]

hi hi! hope you're doing good :)

im a sucker for angst and wilson, so could you please write some hcs for him? could include anything from bad childhood memories, mental health issues etc! thanks you sm if you do it :))

James Wilson angst headcanons

Cw: bullying, homophobia, the f-slur, self-harm, alcohol, pills, suicidal thoughts and attempts, depression, self image issues, it's all angst.

—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—

He was a bit feminine in his behaviour as a child and got relentlessly bullied for it until he graduated from highschool. It was both physical and psychological. He got beat up, spat at, humiliated and called names. He never stood up for himself and is regretting it to this day.

One time on a middle school camping trip he got pulled out form his cabin by the other boys and dragged outside. Some of the boys were holding his arms behind him, some were putting lipstick on his lips, cheeks, eyelids and wrote "faggot" on his forehead, some were stripping him down and putting women's underwear and a bra on him. They tied his wrists above his head and hung him by them from a tree branch. While it was happening, some of the boys went to get girls from their cabins, so by the time he was put up on a tree, everyone was laughing at him. It took a few the worst minutes of his life for the teachers to wake up and help him get down. When teachers tried to discover who did this to him, none of his classmates said anything and neither did he.

He is so overwhelmed all the fucking time. The constant pressure of taking care of his patients while taking care of House and by extend, his patients, is killing him.

Most of the days he just fells numb.

He gets dressed, brushes his teeth, puts on a smile for everyone else and goes to work, works, eats lunch, works some more, goes home eats dinner by himself, goes to sleep. rinse and repeat. that's what he considers a good day.

His empathy is killing him. Not only does he have to care all the time about everyone, but he also has to care in place of everyone else because why does it seem like no one else actually cares they say that they do but they don't because of they did no one would be alone no one would have to die alone like his patients like so many people around the world and like him.

Nobody cares about him like he cares about other people and it is killing him.

He drinks wine every night. Wine or whiskey or scotch. People usually don't mind when you drink a glass of wine with dinner…or five; they just think to themselves “it's just wine, it's classy, it's french” - but when you do it everyday, it's a problem.

He has attempted at least twice, one of which was after Amber died. The night he and House met he was gonna attempt but while he was in jail he was glad that he had no way of carrying through on his plan. That may be part of the reason why he is still friends with House, he feels like he owes his life to him and he hates him for it sometimes.

His go-to are pills and alcohol, maybe because it leaves a bigger chance that he will wake up the next morning, which sucks but oh well-

He feels like a fraud. He has built this image of himself of a man who likes everyone, always gives a shit, and who will be there no matter the time of day or if he has something going on himself. But often that is not who he is in his thoughts. In his thoughts he catches himself being bitter and toxic and he feels horrible about it; he completely disregards all the times that he is kind and genuinely cares and the fact that it doesn't really matter what you think as long as you don't say it out loud and your actions are good.

attachment issues.

He has a tendency to take on others problems as his own as if him carrying the burden of their issues will take them off of others.

He isn't good with loss. You would think that after three divorces he would get a hang of it, but he hasn't. Every time he loses someone, wether they just left or passed away, it hits him like a ton of bricks and sends him down a spiral of guilt and booze. He wonders why? What he could have done differently? Why are they doing this to him?; every time it feels like someone is ripping his heart out of his chest with hands lined with barbed wire.

That's why he cuts himself. Usually on his thighs or upper arms so that he can still roll up his sleeves at work without anyone seeing the scars. Even during his lowest lows he still thinks about others. He still comes into work the next day even tho he has a raging hangover and is covered in band-aids and bandages. He still smiles at others and says his hellos on his way to his office.

[violet-heaven]

I have no idea what I’m doing with this, but I just had to vent out my emotions and this is my way of doing so. I hope you guys like it :)

*****

Gregory House has never believed in love.

Not since his father. Not since he saw that distinct red birthmark on his scalp. Not since the Sean Connery that he shared it with greeted him, shook his hand firmly, meeting Blythe House's eyes above his head. Not since he saw his father's jaw clench as House said the words to him. "You're not my father! It's not possible." Not since the summer during which not a single word was exchanged between father and son.

Maybe he believed, for a moment, when he met Stacy. When she offered him a smile for the first time, understood him more deeply than other people did. Maybe he believed when she stayed by his side, his leg screaming, flaring pain numbing House's mind. When she consoled him, soothed him, promised him. He stopped believing when she left. When his leg was limp and useless and when he wanted to scream. When he wanted to snap the wooden cane in half, when he saw everyone staring with pity in their eyes.

Not since Stacy. Not since the last time he allowed himself to be weak. Because love, as he told himself, was a mistake. A weakness, he repeated in the darkness of his bedroom, lying awake with Vicodin pills scattered on the pillow beside him. Caring is not an advantage.

The stirring of belief rose in his chest once more, when he went to that medical convention in Lousiana. When he was bored out of his mind. When he saw the young man with the file of divorce papers clutched tightly to his chest as if maybe not looking at them could prevent what would happen. When he saw the same hurt, the same confusion, the same emptiness reflected in this man's eyes, this man who twisted the ring on his finger, lost to the world.

He believed when he saw the man throw a bottle into that antique mirror, believed when he got arrested. "It was a boring convention. Had to have somebody to drink with." He believed it when he bailed him out, believed it when the man stayed to talk, introduced himself as James Wilson. Believed it when he offered Wilson a place in Princeton Plainsboro and he agreed. Believed it when they stayed friends, through every single obstacle thrown at them.

But for how long? He stopped believing when Wilson found Amber. It was over for him. He couldn't believe. Not when they were so happy together. Not when Amber was everything House could have been to Wilson. Not when he saw Wilson's tear stricken face, the harsh blame in his words. Not when the guilt was consuming him, eating away at everything.

"You think I should risk my life to save Amber's."

He stopped believing when Wilson nodded. When Amber died, and when Wilson found him after he woke up. Stopped believing when he felt hopeful, but his best friend walked away from him. Stopped believing when he tried so hard to keep Wilson with him. He failed. He blamed himself. I don't want him to hate me. He hates me. He stopped believing when Wilson told him they weren't friends, that he wasn't sure they had ever been.

Then he felt it again. Hope, rearing somewhere in the confines of his soul the day of his father's funeral. He believed when he saw Wilson seated in the car next to him because he cared, because House had a second chance. Because he would do anything at all to see Wilson smile like he once did for House.

And maybe he believed when it worked out, when Wilson threw that bottle into the window. When the slightest smile curved his lips as he realised he was having fun. When they agreed to go out to dinner together, and Wilson held the door for him, lapsing into conversation as they have done so many times over. When he knew that they were broken pieces of a puzzle, but they fit. They always fit. When House's head and Wilson's heart were just better together.

So maybe, Gregory House doesn’t believe in love.

But he believes in Wilson.

[derailedfiction]

The Most Wanted | Baron Zemo | The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pairings: Helmut Zemo x Fem!Reader | Sam Wilson & Fem!Reader |  James Barnes & Fem!Reader

Word count: 6764

Warnigns: smut, a bit of swearing

Summary: After John Walker's outburst, Reader.and the boys ™️ follow a promising lead of a certain doctor.

A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE :D enjoy <3 

tag list: @sea-murai you’re my smut queen 

What a mess, you thought replaying in your head over, and over again how the poor man was decapitated. You returned to the empty apartment and made yourself a drink, which you drank at the spot and immediately you refilled empty glass. You looked at the amber liquid pensive. It was not the first time you saw somebody getting killed but the brutality of the act itself and the direct publicity it had from the very start, made you feel sick.

With heavy sight, you sat down on the sofa and closed your eyes. It was not the only haunting thought that was in your mind. The kiss. You suspected he did it to play with you, but you could not stop feeling his lips upon yours. How gentle and soft they were and Zemo’s gloved hand lightly caressing your chin as you succumbed to his actions.

What a nonsense, you thought and took away your own fingers that tried to trace his touch on your lips. But it was a pleasant nonsense, and you did not really want to let it go.

“Still here?” you heard Sam as he walked in. “Your great prize just escaped; you’re not following him?”

“Kein Problem, Sam. Ich verfolge ihm, [Not a problem, Sam. I’m tracking him,]” you answered him opening your eyes.

They both looked like they have been through hell. Weary, bruised up with some cuts on faces, but somehow victorious as you spotted the shield in Sam’s hands, still wearing some marks of blood on its surface.

“We must think what to do with Walker, he clearly snapped,” Bucky said as he was taking off his gear. “It’s hard to deal with what he’s done to the shield.”

That sounded way more accusatory than it supposed to be, and you saw Sam slightly tensing his jawline, listening to Bucky. It was something that you were used to, as James would from time to time throw such punchlines toward Sam, and how he has treated the shield.

You got up and went for the first aid kit, which still was in bathroom after Zemo helped you with taking out the bullet. You heard them heatedly arguing back in the room, so you grabbed the kit and went back.

“Sitz [Sit,]” you ordered James showing him the chair, and surprisingly he obliged. You then took a swab with sanitizer and tried to clean his face cuts, but he retreated catching your hand. “Komm jetzt, es wird nur für einen Moment kneifen [Come now, it’ll pinch only for a moment,]“

He let your hand go, rather unconvinced and allowed you to continue with the procedure.

“Sie mussen ihm neutraliziren. [You have to neutralize him.]” you referred to what they were arguing about, whilst cleaning James’ nose cut. “Er kann nicht ein Super-Soldat sein. Das ist zu gefährlich. [He can’t be a super soldier. It’s too dangerous.]”

“Well, that’s out of the question,” James answered with sigh.

“Yeah, but how do you want to take down a bloody murderer? It’s not like we can burst into his house and handcuff him, man,” Sam stood looking at the two of you, with crossed arms. “He’s a straight up killer, a super killer. He won’t go easy, especially as something broke in him.”

“I have told you something was not alright about him,” with nod you agreed to what Bucky has said.

“Warum hat er diesen Mann getötet? Was ist passiert? [Why did he kill that man? What has happened?]” you asked.

“Lemar, his partner died in action. It was actually Karli that pushed him into the wall, but Walker set his mind on that man,” you stood silent for a longer while, thinking intensively about something. In the meantime you let James to go, as you finished with cleaning of his cuts and invited Sam to take his place.

“Ich kenne eine Frau, sie ist eine Wissenschaftlerin und sie hatte an dem Super-Soldat Serum und einer Art Gegenmittel gearbeitet. [I know a woman. She’s a scientist and she worked on the super soldier serum and some kind of antidote.]”

“Really? – Nicht bewegen, [Don’t move,]” Sam looked at you as Bucky explained him what you have said. You found it utterly irritating and hard to tend his head cut as he moved all the time.

“Nun, ich kenne sie nicht persönlich, aber ich weiß, dass es diesen Wissenschaftler gibt, der versucht, die Wirkung des Serums umzukehren. [Well, I don't know her personally, but I do know that there is this scientist who is trying to reverse the effects of the serum,]” you took your time washing the wounds and bruised lip.

Only when you finished, you cleaned up and put the rest of the things back into the first aid kit. Then you took out your laptop and started looking for some useful information.

“Don’t you think is worth a shot?” Bucky asked Sam, who wasn’t that convinced to your idea. He didn’t trust you and you could not blame him for that. Especially, as you let Zemo escape their custody.

“Do we have other option? We should try this, it’ll be easier to do something with him, when he’s not a super soldier,” you felt Sam’s glances as he has spoken with James. “But still, I don’t trust her that much to do as she proposes.”

“For a bit we’re stuck with her,” they both stopped talking to look at you, working on the computer. You paused and looked back at them.

“Was? [What?]” you tilted your head and returned to your work.

“Anyway, we try to find this scientist and then we go back to States. I’m done with Europe for a while.”

“Mags du die offiziele Treffen? [Do you like official meetings?]”, you closed laptop and approached men. “[I know you have enough of Europe, but we’ll be here for a bit longer. In two days, there’s an annual meeting of scientist. What very little people know that it is also an annual convention of all sorts of medical freaks.]”

“Where is it?”

“Come sta il tuo gentiluomo italiano? Andiamo a Venezia. [How is your Italian? We are going to Venice],” you asked them with disarming smile as you saw confusion on their faces.

“How many languages do you know, woman?” Sam was highly shocked considering your ability to change languages so easily.

“A lot,” you smiled cheekily answering him in the purest English, much to his dismay.

***

“Do we have to go through the plan again?” you growled under your nose, hesitantly getting up from the bed you sat on.

You arrived in Venice in the early morning, when the whole city was still asleep. The three of you took that opportunity to do a short reconnaissance in front of the opera where later that day, the event was to be held. A square in front of it was rather small but provided enough space to set an observation station. You really hoped for a moment free to go and visit a bit more of the city you haven’t seen for a long time. Unfortunately, during the day you were seated in the nearby café as Sam and James went inside.

“Bucky and I go inside, and we try to find this doctor of yours. You Y/N, will be a watch-out in the nearby,” James looked at you for a moment, thinking about something.

“Can you tell me again, why you can’t go inside with us?”

“Wie ich Ihnen bereits sagte, wünschen mir einige Leute dort den Tod, [As I told you, some of the people there wish me dead,]“ you shook your head lightly. “So, denke ich, das ist keine gute Idee für mich in zu gehen. Jeder würde wissen, dass etwas lost ist. [So, I think it’s not a good idea for me to go in. Everybody would know something is going on.]”

James was visibly tormented by the idea of you doing things on your own.

“Es ist in Ordnung, ich verstehe dich und dass du mir nicht vertraust, James. [That’s alright, I understand you and that you don’t trust me, James,]” you gently put your hand on his arm. “Aber wir haben keine anderen Lösungen [But we don’t have any other options,]“ he sighed as he knew there was no other idea and that was your best shot so far.

“Right, but how do we get in there? We don’t even have clothes or anything?”

You smiled broadly as you were waiting for this question. You went to the phone and dialed a number, “Sie werden hinreißend aussehen, [You’ll look ravishing,]” you winked at them and started talking on the phone.

Within an hour, you were gaily sitting in a comfortable chair, slowly drinking your second mimosa and simply enjoying the view. Sam and James were trying on their tuxedos for the evening, which was truly captivating activity as you could look at two well-built men in smart clothes.

“Is it me or Y/N enjoys this a bit too much?” Sam turned around to see himself in the mirror.

“Ja, ich genieße die Aussicht, [Yes, I do enjoy the view,]” you smiled and raised your glass to toast and finished off the drink, which was immediately refilled.

Bucky stood silently in his dark-blue velvet jacket and you could have sworn he was mumbling something about you acting like Zemo.

“Komm schon Jungs, du muss anständig aussehen, um in die Oper zu gehen, [Come on boys, you have to look decent to go to the opera,]” the tailor took the last measurements from Sam and invited Bucky to stand on a low step.

“Ah, James, du siehst absolut schneidig aus [James, you look absolutely dashing],” you complimented the man as the dark shade of blue looked absolutely mesmerizing on him. “Du auch siehst absolut schneidig aus, Sam,” what was more to say, you simply took pleasure in both, observing them in those fancy clothes and how miserable they were at the same time.

“Aren’t you getting ready?” Sam asked, looking at himself in the mirror one more time. You sensed that he actually liked being dressed like this.

“Ja, aber ich bin schon bereit, schau. [Yes, but I’m already ready, look,]” with your free hand you pointed to a hanger with long, evening dress in your favourite colour, next to which stood high-heels.

As you finished your last drink, you got up from the armchair and spoke to the tailor, who informed you that there, is need only for small changes and outfits would be ready within two hours. You smiled to him and left the room with the dress and shoes to get ready.

It was not your first time to be a watch out but what concerned you the most about this evening, was the fact that you still had the Powerbroker’s men after you. The odds were rather unlikely for them to come but they were not zero. Then again, you did not really owe anything to James or Bucky, to stay and to help them here or to go after Walker and neutralize his super soldier abilities.

You looked at your reflection in a mirror, carefully observing how the fabric of the dress draped over your body. The sleeves were of right length to nicely cover the bandage on your arm. It was a simple, evening dress as many others, but it had something in it that made you checking-out yourself for a longer moment. Was it the cleavage, not revealing yet complementing your breasts? Or maybe a nicely cut waist, hugging your body well-fitted? You did not really know, and it did not bother you. The effect was stunning, and you loved it. It was a perfect camouflage for your position. Being in that dress allowed you to look as one of the guests, who casually went outside to smoke and was about to go back. The only thing that didn’t go well with this outfit was your purple black eye from the other day, but what make-up cannot solve?

It took you a bit longer than you wished but you managed to cover the bruised area with an evening look. As you finished the last touches of your gala outfit you took out two boxes with the equipment you got from a friendly smuggler you knew from the past.

“So, I brought some good stuff,” you said as you returned to the boys and put first small box on the table.

“She speaks,” escaped from Sam’s mouth. And it was not the only sense that was shocked as his eyes were wandering on your figure, as much as James’s. “You look really nice.”

“Yes, I do,” you replied in such way on purpose, so he had to think about it. You opened the box revealing small earplugs. “We’ll communicate through them. It’s so small nobody will notice it,” you handed one for each of them and put one in your ear.

“Why now?” Sam was still inquiring about your magical ability to speak English, all of sudden.

“I thought it would be easier if both of you would understand me, not just James,” you answered him. “And honestly, gentleman you should consider wearing suits more often… They really suit you.” Sam was visibly flattered by your compliment, while James mumbled something again. “Do you want to go over the plan again?”

“I think we’re good. You’re observing, we’re inside looking for your doctor. We get needed information and head out,” Sam summed up shortly, as you took out invitation. “Only one?”

“Yeah, you’re going as a pair. Settle between who is who’s one plus,” you handed him the piece of paper with grin. “You’ll do just fine.”

“I preferred when you spoke German at least I didn’t understand you,” he sighed heavily. You lightly shrugged your arms and turned on a little screen, which was showing halls of the opera house from different angles. You wrinkled your nose lightly observing one of the video.

“What?” you heard Bucky over your shoulder, standing behind.

“Nothing, I just spotted a bar I want to invade before we begin,” you answered him and turned off the device.

“How professional,” Sam snorted.

“Come now, darling,” you smiled blissfully and grabbing their arms as you were leaving the apartment. “What can go wrong?”

***

As you soon found out quite a lot of things could have gone wrong, starting with your high-heels and Venetian pavement that was not co-operating with them to finish with a bottle of not-so-cold champagne you have hoped for.

“How is it going?” you asked through the earplug, observing incoming wave of smart-clothed people.

“So far, so good,” you heard Sam and you saw him with a drink in a hand, “How does our target will look like?”

“Tall, blonde, she’ll be probably with a cane. She had some sorts of accident and can’t walk without it,” you replied smiling to the passing by couple, “She should be easy to spot. Please, don’t scare her.” Sam let a short laugh.

“Well then, let’s get to it,” James was rather tensed, observing guests coming in.

“You should go and take your seats, the play is about to start.”

“What?” they asked simultaneously.

“Oh, I didn’t mention that?” you smiled to yourself, seeing their distressed faces in camera, “As a treat for guests, you’ll be able to see one of the finest version of Don Jovanni. Enjoy gentlemen –”

And you lost sound at that moment, you could have seen they were saying something to you but it was just lost.

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

What a piece of shit, you thought taking out the comm and gently hitting it in order to work.

“Hello?”

“Problems in paradise?” a familiar voice, you thought you won’t hear for a time, asked as you turned around to see Zemo standing in the shadows like a common creep.

“As far as I’m concerned, we’re doing perfectly well,” you said, observing the entrance. Quite a lot of people were still going in, even though the opera has already started. “I’m surprised to see you here, to be honest.”

“I got a little bit bored, and I decided to come back,” Zemo said, walking up to you slowly.

“Don’t tell me you missed Sam or James’s company?” you scoffed him with a smile just in the corner of your lips.

“I missed your company Y/N, if I may speak freely,” you raised your eyebrow at his words. Zemo stopped next to you and observed the façade of the opera house. “It’s quite a crowd, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is. I never liked those official meetings, really. The only one good thing about such parties is this,” you showed him a bottle of champagne you took earlier from the opera’s kitchen. “Want some? But I warn you, I don’t have any fancy glasses, so we have to drink straight from the bottle,” you drank from it and passed the alcohol to Zemo, which he gladly accepted.

“Are our mutual friend inside?” you nodded. “How did you make them go inside?”

“It wasn’t that hard, really,” he was standing with such close proximity, you had no problem with smelling his cologne nor with feeling his warmth. “Is it your doings that our communication is jammed?”

Zemo smiled innocently and pretended to turn the key against his mouth, “I know nothing of such thing, Y/N. But then again, we wouldn’t have had this opportunity to talk freely.”

“And you came, God knows from where, just to talk with me?” he opened his arms and shrugged them.

“Night is still young, and you don’t have to stand here waiting for them to return. They’re big boys,” he took the liberty to caress your neck skin as he spoke, giving you shivers along the spine.

“What we do here is important, Zemo,” you slowly turned your gaze upon him. “Honestly, I don’t really want to see any more dead bodies caused by this man.” You lazily leaned towards him, occasionally glancing at his lips. So, tempting to try them one more time.

“I can see that, Y/N,” Zemo answered in low whisper, still caressing your neck.

You moved even closer to the man and just inches before his mouth, you paused and said, “Give me back champagne.”

You saw how his face shifted as he gave you a short smirk along the bottle, from which you took another sip.

“So, hypothetically, where would you want to go, Zemo?” you asked, enjoying the sensation of his gloved hand against your skin.

“Hypothetically, there is a little hotel, not that far from here where, hypothetically, I have an apartment – Of course, you have – where we can go and talk,” you rose your eyebrow as he took his hand away and took of his signature coat to put it around your shoulders. “It’s rather chilly.”

“What a chivalry of yours, Zemo,” you stated, even though you accepted it with quite a pleasure, “Shall we go?” As for a true gentleman, hidden under a mask of a terrorist, he offered you his arm, which you gladly took.

The two of you went for a relatively short stroll, which raised questions you wanted to ask, how on earth he found out about this event and that you will be there, but you just let it go.

You shook your head for his proposition of a drink as you reached the apartment, you felt a little bit light-headed after the champagne and wanted to make a pause. You nonchalantly slipped the coat on an armchair and sat down on a small sofa.

“Well, you can now tell me why are you back? I mean, you had a clear way of escaping and be free as wind,” you pressed your lips tight, and you crossed your arms, waiting for him to answer you. He poured you two drinks and handed one to you even though you didn’t want any.

Just as soon as he sat down, he started, “It might sound strange, but I wanted to spend some time with a person who will not try to kill me.” You smiled to your whiskey and sipped a little of it, “And as much as I enjoyed co-operating with Sam and James, it was tiring after a while to look over your shoulder.”

You raised your eyebrow in amusement. It was the very Baron Zemo who just said, he must have looked if there was anyone wanting to stab him. You found that hilarious and couldn’t prevent a silent laugh.

“I must say, Zemo, that sounds rather funny, being said by you.”

“Why? Because I know my way out of any situation, even if it demands some stabbing?” he looked at you, gently smiling.

“Precisely,” you narrowed your eyes, observing him. In this dim light and with that smile on his lips he seemed to be quite relaxed and peaceful. A rare view for anyone watching. “You know what, I missed our little talks like that.”

“I’ll drink to that, Y/N.”

You observed him for a moment, urging to ask a burning question that you carried since the beginning of your reunion, “How do you feel?”

He stopped drinking and looked at you surprised, “Ravishing, what do you mean?”

“You perfectly know, what do I mean, Baron,” you slowly took another sip of the drink, “You know, you were severely depressed in the jail, so obviously I’m a little bit concerned how do you feel now. You wanted to kill yourself, Zemo. It doesn’t happen just like that,” you snapped your fingers, looking expectantly at him.

“If that will ease your mind upon this matter, I went through the therapy during my incarnation,” he looked at the peaceful night through the window. “ – and it helped for a certain extend.”

“I’m glad to hear it, Zemo. I really am,” you smiled lightly and finished your drink. “You want a refill?” You stood up from your armchair and took his glass, as you headed for the bar. “Same or you want to change for something else?”

“The usual,” you snorted and poured him whiskey.

“So,” you started, handing Zemo his glass back, “shall we speak about something a bit more cheerful?”

As the two of you engaged into conversation, the time passed by unnoticed. You must have admitted that Zemo was a delightful chat partner as he could talk about literary everything starting from political matters and literature to what knife would be the best for a hand-to-hand combat. It was that kind of dispute which was challenging you and yet allowed you to carry it on effortlessly.

Your engagement in conversation with Zemo, reminded you how the two of you had similar talks when he was in German prison. You were quite proud of yourself when you successfully infiltrated that prison posing as a trauma counsellor. There was no real therapy, but it allowed you to plan and implement the escape. Though, now you could see much more emotions and freedom in his talking and way of acting. You found it enjoyable to observe him a bit more alive than he used to be.

At one moment you were standing and slowly dancing to the music played from a gramophone and it was quite blurry for you to recall who came up with this idea. But it was pleasurable when you felt his arm gently resting around your waist as the other supported your hand, even though both of you had some percentages in blood. You were slowly rocking across the room, trying to avoid sneaky furniture that would appear out of nowhere, to your disapproval.

“Maybe it’s best if we sit for now, we’re not the best dancers after this amount of alcohol,” you led Zemo by his hand to the sofa, on which you sat down.

“You look lovely in this dress, Y/N.”

“I know, thank you,” you gave him a cheeky smile, much to his amusement.

“You know what…”

“Are you going to tell me it would look better on the floor?” you interrupted, and Zemo chuckled in response.

“Only if you want to, Y/N,” you shifted on the sofa to move a bit closer towards him.

“What do you want, then?”

“You,” this simple response made you astonished, uncertain what to say.

“Is this drunken you speaking, or real you?” your fingers started slowly caressing the back of his hand, in anticipation of Zemo’s answer.

“What would you like me to be?” you lightly shook your head.

“Does it really matter?” you asked, not really knowing whether you were asking yourself or Zemo. Before he could answer you in any way, you placed a short, uncertain kiss on the man’s lips, which was followed by much longer and needy one. You wanted to retreat after this, to think about it but Zemo’s hand in your hair prevented it sufficiently and pulled you back for another kiss, heated and passionate.

You felt the zip of your dress going down and as you leaned in the kiss, the material slide off revealing your shoulders. You pushed him gently on the sofa seat and comfortably nested yourself on Zemo. Your fingers were tenderly stroking his hair as your kiss became deeper and sweeter with each passing second.

His lips slipped from yours to your jawline and neck leaving trail of messy kisses, each of it awarded by your soft moan. You felt as if you were melting under every single touch, stroke or nip left on your skin.

“Would you like to go somewhere more comfortable?” he asked into your neck, kissing it possessively.

“After you, Helmut,” you placed another peck in the corner of his lips and sat up.

Baron swiftly got up and offered his hand to lead you to the bedroom, where he took his time stripping you out of the dress, along saying how much he admired you and your body. As your apparel hit the floor, it revealed you were wearing no lingerie.

“Y/N,” Zemo chucked huskily, grabbing you by your waist and turning around to see you, “You’re full of surprises, my dear.”

You rested your forearms on his chest observing how his eyes brightened. Your fingers played with the collar of the man’s shirt before leaning in for another kiss, which he tenderly gave you.

“Why am I the only one undressed?” you softly purred, revelling in his gentle strokes. You moved your hands to ably undo his belt and shoulder holster, which were now laying on the floor.

“Is it my fault you weren’t wearing any underwear?”

“Is it my fault you were so eager to undress me?” you replied with another question, working on his clothes. Zemo chuckled allowing you to do further undressing of him. “You know what…” you paused your doings and took your hands away, looking at him slyly, “You’re a big boy, do it yourself.”

You walked away from him with a cheeky smile and sat down on a bed, resting on your palms with crossed legs. Zemo tilted his head letting a quiet sigh of disbelief as he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, still maintaining eye contact with you. Oddly, you found it quite erogenous, and your breath quicken a bit watching him stripping the rest of clothes.

“Like what you see?”

“Come to me,” you softly lured, feeling deprived of his touch and affection for too long. You climbed higher on the bed making room for Zemo, who was over you within seconds.

“So needy,” he chuckled darkly, leaving lazily trail of kisses starting on your collar just to end right next to your ear. His hand was exploring your hip, gently clenching fingers into your sensitive skin, enjoying each of your soft moans. “So impatient – and so welcoming.”

You deeply inhaled feeling his fingers inside you, already dripping wet.

“Y/N…”  Zemo caught each of your whines with his lips slowly fingering you, “You’re such a beautiful mess.” You laughed in his mouth which quickly turned into loud groan of pleasure as heat inside you was more and more mounting.

“Zemo, I want you,” you said quietly and whimpered as he took his fingers away from you.

“Good Lord, Y/N. You even taste as good as you look,” he smiled devilishly, licking off your juices and suspended any actions, glancing at you somehow distressed.

“What is it?” you looked up, searching for his eyes.

“It’s just been a while since I – ” you shushed him with your finger on his lips.

“Roll over,” you said sternly and surprisingly he was more than happy to oblige and pull you on top, “Good boy, Helmut,” you awarded him with a loving kiss.

You straddled him and helped yourself with your hand to position his member to your entrance, and you slowly lowered down on him. Both of you gasped at the same moment as you froze to feel him better inside you. “You’re quite to take,” you whispered slowly rocking your hips, much to Zemo’s approval. After a moment of his stillness, Zemo started to counter your movements.

“Oh, my – Helmut,” you gasped airlessly feeling his thrusts and trying to keep up with the pace. “Don’t you dare to stop,” you bit your lip, watching what hot mess he became beneath you. It seemed as his hands were all over you, all the time, yet you felt them mostly strongly gripping your hips as he kept thrusting in you.

“You are beautiful, Y/N. I cannot get enough of you,” with each next pound into you, you felt your legs were about to fail you. Zemo saw that as you were faintly allowing your head to fall down with sorrow moans of pleasure.

He unceremoniously flipped you on your back and trapped between the mattress and his body.

“That’s unexpected,” you said pulling him closer, sinking your fingers into his messy hair, “But not unwelcomed.”

“You were barely holding on. I couldn’t allow anything happen to you,” he stated, changing his pace to much slower and mor passionate lovemaking.

“You have well-rested, my dear Bar–ON,” a moan escaped your lips as he suddenly caught your nipple in teeth and bit it.

Zemo hooked your legs around his hips as he started to pound into you mercilessly, catching every single moan and scream of pleasure that escaped your mouth with his indecent kisses. Within a blink of an eye your arms were held by his hand, above your head, much restraining your movement. You tried to squirm your freedom, but he was relentless in overpowering you.

“Don’t move, be a good girl,” his whisper next to your ear made your eyes even darker from lust and you obliged to Helmut’s demand. “Good girl,” he praised you huskily, cupping your breast with the free hand.

“Helmut, I – ” you shivered strongly as your climax was almost there. Your hips were coming ahead his thrust gaining as much friction and stimulation as you could get. “Please, let me go… I want to touch you, to feel you when I come on you,” you pleaded sweetly arching your body toward him even more.

As soon as your arms were free, you clenched them around his upper body, dugging nails into his back. Your breath was becoming more and more frantic as you were on the very edge of your climax. All of your nerves were aching for it to happen, controlling over your body as you softly whimpered into Zemo’s neck nonsense. His brown eyes, now almost black were staring at you as if you were his pray, his victim.

“Don’t you dare stopping n-OW,” you were an absolute mess and him changing pace for the faster one was bringing you over the edge.

“Be a good girl and come for me,” Zemo’s hips were smashing into you with the force you have never suspected him. You nodded sloppily kissing his face wherever you could and then it happened.

You felt overwhelming wave of heat and shivers overpowering your body as your orgasm hit. For a moment you stopped breathing and allowed to be filled with this shake inside you and how your muscles tensed around him. Your arms were holding onto Zemo, whose moves became hastier and erratic, close to his own finale. He rested his head on your shoulder breathing heavily and babbling as with few last thrusts he came in you, with loud moan.

He stopped moving to catch his breath and slowly slipped out of you.

“You are intense, Y/N,” his soft smile was something amazing to observe. You could have sworn there was only affection and nothing more in him, at the moment.

“Well, I got to taste my own medicine, Helmut. I think I might have some bruises,” you looked at him out of breath and satisfied.

Zemo pulled you closer and left few short kisses on your forehead before he spoke to you, “Sleep now, I’ll get you back to boys tomorrow morning.”

As much as you hated the idea of being vulnerable in your sleep, you settled down comfortably next to Zemo, slowly falling asleep. His arm around your shoulder was holding you steadily, yet you could still hear his heart fast beating. Listening to it and how it was getting slower as to the regular hear beat, you found yourself drowsy enough to relax and fall asleep on his chest.

***

Your sleep was abruptly finished by the phone ring.

“Hallo?” you took the phone quickly not to wake up sleeping man next to you.

“Y/N? Care to explain your sudden missing?” you heard James on the other side and stopped breathing for a moment.

You got up and left the bedroom with sleeping Zemo and you replied, “Ich hatte einen Dinge zu machen.[I had some things to do.]”

“Yeah, right. I’m waiting outside,”

“Was? [What?]” a shocked question slipped your lips.

“Das. [That.] I put a tracker on you. I didn’t want another runner like Zemo. Come down or I’ll come for you,” he said and hung up.

FUck, fuck, FUCK, you thought shocked as you started quickly looking for your clothes. Outside the window, you indeed noticed Bucky standing under a street lantern on the opposite side of the hotel’s entrance. As you were gathering your dress and shoes, you noticed some kind of package on a chair, opposite to the bed. You almost omitted it as they were all black and only delicate shimmering in the streetlight, caught your attention.

 I hope these will be more comfortable to pursue me in.

                                                          Z.

 You smiled lightly and put the note in the pocket. How come that he could not speak about his feelings but had no problem with showing them in other ways. You took the pile from the chair and you noticed it was surprisingly heavy, as you walked into the bathroom.

How does that man know so much about me?, you asked yourself putting on clothes he prepared. And of course, they fitted you perfectly, which was quite amazing. You haven’t had a slightest idea what kind of material it was, but it felt so comfortable as if you were wearing a second skin. You slipped your feet into boots and laced them thoroughly.

The last thing from the pile was a black box in which you found lather shoulder holster, quite similar to the one Zemo was wearing himself. You put it on and adjusted to your preference and when it was perfectly laying on you, you inserted a gun into the holster.

Before you went away, you have left a short notice foe Zemo that you must have gone.

“Why did you left your position?” he asked as soon as you saw you leaving the hotel, and narrowed his eyes checking out your outfit closely. “Weren’t you wearing a dress?”

“Und jetzt trage ich das. [And now I wear this,]” you answered shortly, unsure how to feel about this whole situation. “Es ist nicht nett, dass du mir nicht vertraust. Aber ich verstehen es. [It’s not nice that you don’t trust me. But I get it].”

“Well, I was right not to trust you, Y/N. Why did you leave?”

“Ich habe dir gesagt, ich musste mich um einige Dinge kümmern. Es ist nicht so, dass ich an euch beide gebunden bin. [I told you, I had some things to attend to. It’s not like I’m bound to you two],” you snarled back at him. “Wo ist Sam? [Where’s Sam?]”

“Back at our hideout,” James sighed quietly and rubbed his eyes. “Alright, listen… You don’t have to tell me why you left, just –,” he stopped for a second looking at you. “Just leave any kind of note that you’re going…”

“Oh, warst du besorgt? [Oh, you were worried?]” you looked at him surprised as he growled with huff. “Das ist schön, James. [That’s lovely, James.]” you mocked him with light smile.

You never would have thought that any of them, James nor Sam, would display any kind of concern of your person. It was even funnier, considering the fact you just did write a note for Zemo, so he would not be troubled about your whereabouts.

“Just don’t do it again, ok?” he looked miserable as you laughed silently at this revelation. You gently patted his arm and nodded to his ask. “You’re not going back there? To your things?”

“Nein, alles ist gut, James. Wir können zurückgehen und darüber nachdenken, was als nächstes zu tun ist. [No, everything is good, James. We can go back and think what to do next,]” you said and started walking down the quiet road.

“I’m afraid no, she wasn’t even there,” Bucky answered and looked at you.

Sweet Lord, these boots are comfortable, you thought taking each next step.

“Haben sie mit diesem Wissenschaftler Glück gehabt? [Did you get any luck with that doctor?]” you asked after a while.

“Verdammt [Damn it],” you muttered under your nose silently, “You’re sure about that? [Bist du darüber sicher?]”

“Yes, we’ve talked to some other scientist that told us, she went missing like three days ago. Presumably taken by the Power Broker, as she was last seen in Madripoor.”

“Verdammt [Damn it],” you repeated louder, which caught Bucky’s attention.

“Why is she so important to you?”

“Willst du wirklich, dass Walker länger ein Supersoldat ist? [Do you really want Walker to be any longer a super soldier?]” you answered with another question. “Ich denke, wir müssen uns ausruhen und dann überlegen, was wir als nächstes tun sollen, [I think, we should take a rest and the think what to do next.]“

“That’s good idea,” he shortly agreed as you came in the apartment.

You noticed Sam sleeping on the sofa under a blanket. Surely something that was taken care of by James.

“I really enjoyed this opera, you know?” you smiled softly hearing it, “It was nice to do something normal? I guess.”

“Ich bin erfreut, das zu hören, [I’m happy to hear it,]” you lowered your voice not to wake the other man.

You looked at James trying to figure out what was he all about. No doubt, he was a caring and a caring persona and that softened you. It was truly awful what happened to him in the past because he did not deserved it at all.

“Es gab nie eine Schwester, [There was never a sister,]” this sentence sounded louder than you thought after a moment of silence.

“I know, Y/N,” you turned to him with surprised expression, a question painted all over your face. “It wasn’t exactly that hard to figure it out, especially since I found your file in published S.H.I.E.L.D. documents.”

You sighed heavily, “Wie viel weißt du [How much do you know]?”

“Pretty much all of it. That you helped Zemo going after the Avengers,” he took off his jacket and hung it over the chair, then continued, “And I just found out about your ailment, you want to treat so badly, Y/N.”

“Okay, willst du dich ausruhen oder darüber reden [Alright, do you want to rest or to talk about it]?” you rubbed your eyes. It was quite late and you dreamt only about continuing your sleep but you couldn’t leave it just like this.

“Let’s talk. We still have some time.”

“Nimm dann die Flasche und zwei Gläser [Grab the bottle and two glasses, then],” you moved to the bedroom and made him space on the bed. “Es wird einige Zeit in Anspruch nehmen [It will take some time],” you said closing the door.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 29

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Panic at the Palace -- Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, Prince William, Duchess Kate Middleton

Page 1: Big Pic -- Kevin Bacon and Juliette Lewis were among the many artists who put on a performance for Linda Perry's Rock 'N' Relief Live Stream Concert Series, benefitting Sean Penn's CORE Response organization

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Sparks are flying between Sandra Bullock and Brad Pitt on the set of their new action movie Bullet Train and not just when the cameras are rolling -- their chemistry is through the roof and Sandra lights up whenever she's around Brad and some of the cast and crew could swear they've seen him blushing in her presence -- Brad and Sandra have been hanging out more than your typical costars and they have a lot in common and seem to really enjoy each other's company and they'll frequently spend their breaks socializing and they can often be heard laughing over each other's stories and topics of conversations range from mutual friends and house repairs to more personal stuff, like kids

Page 6: Bruce Willis turned 66 on March 19 and as he celebrates the occasion, he has been reflecting on his life and it's been quite the journey but Bruce looks back at it all with that classic smirk

Page 7: Producers of the Gossip Girl reboot have been begging Blake Lively to join the cast of the new show but she's turned up her nose at the idea -- she's not ungrateful, because the original show made her star, but she closed the book on that part of her life a long time ago -- she's blissfully content in her role as a mom to daughters James, Inez and Betty whom she shares with her husband Ryan Reynolds and being a stay-at-home parent and filming an occasional movie sounds way more appealing to her than returning to that hothouse Gossip Girl universe -- she says she had her show and wants the new team to have theirs, but to die-hard fans, it still feels like a major snub

* After calling it quits on her romance with Ben Affleck in January, Ana de Armas is ready to play the field and Hollywood's heartthrob du jour, Rege-Jean Page has caught her eye and she was over the moon when the Bridgerton hunk recently signed on to her new thriller The Gray, which also stars Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans -- of course, Rege is gorgeous, but Ana also likes that he isn't your typical Tinseltown success story and comes from a rich cultural background, just like she does and she's hoping to get to know him better once they start shooting in L.A. -- while Ana has been warned that won't sit well with Rege's live-in girlfriend, Emily Brown, that doesn't seem to bother Ana

* Janet Jackson's life story is set to get the full documentary treatment next year, and no stone will be left unturned when it comes to her famously dysfunctional family -- the family is freaking out, as well they should be -- Janet will be brutally honest about her late father Joe Jackson, who bullied her and made her feel like she was nothing with out him but her siblings say they had it much worse especially when it came to Michael Jackson, who suffered verbal and physical abuse from Joe throughout his childhood -- Janet, who became a mom at 50 with her businessman ex, Wissam Al Mana, is also ready to tell all about their divorce and custody battle -- doing this documentary has been incredibly cathartic for her and she can't wait to shed light on her family's deep, dark secrets

Page 8: Angelina Jolie has been legally single for two years, and now she's finally ready to mingle -- she's been laying low since her 2016 split from Brad Pitt and she's feels it's time to get out there and she's eager to meet some new and interesting men and the mom of six is open to being hooked up by Hollywood pals like Ellen Pompeo, whom she was seen dining with in Beverly Hills and Angie likes the idea of dating a fellow A-lister who can relate to her about living in the spotlight and Ellen's been helping out with suggestions -- Angie is even open to joining an elite dating service and now the hunt is on to find a suitable bunch of candidates -- she wants fun and adventure again and after months of just being Mom, dressing up, putting on some perfume and engaging in stimulating conversation sounds good to Angie

* It's only been six months since Drew Barrymore launched her chirpy daytime talk show, but behind the scenes, she's on the verge of a major meltdown -- the multitasking mom who shares daughters Olive and Frankie with ex-hubby Will Kopelman, has no idea that juggling work and family would be this hard and she's feeling pressure from every side -- she desperately wants to be there for the kids, but she's trying to make her show a hit, and with her production company, she has a million others things on her plate as well -- the stressed-out star has also been chowing down on junk food and drinking too much caffeine so she can't get more than a few hours of sleep a night -- Drew doesn't want to let anyone down, but if she doesn't dial it back, she's going to collapse from exhaustion

* Matthew Perry announced his engagement to his on-off girlfriend Molly Hurwitz in November, but he seems to be having second thoughts -- he's crazy in love, but he's scared of messing up a good thing by making things official and he also worries what kind of husband he'll make given his health woes and battles with addiction -- Molly has faith in Matthew, but she can see wedding planning is stressing him out, even more so now that the Friends reunion is set to start shooting and he's pushing himself to go through with it, but his doubts are gnawing away at him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars show some skin in dramatic decolletage-baring frocks -- Nicole Richie, Aja Naomi King

Page 11: Kate Hudson, Becky G, Mindy Kaling

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Kat Graham vs. Nicole Kidman in Erdem, Oliva Wilde vs. Bella Hadid in Ralph Lauren

Page 13: Danielle Bradbery vs. Paula Abdul in Hamel

Page 14: News in Photos -- Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox stepped out for dinner in West Hollywood

Page 16: Ariel Winter brightened up her monochromatic look with a pink face mask during a trip to the hair salon in West Hollywood, Justin Theroux went for a walk with his beloved dog Kuma in NYC, Arnold Schwarzenegger was spotted on his daily bike ride in L.A.

Page 17: Susan Sarandon stopped to get her caffeine fix while shopping solo in Soho

Page 18: Lea Michele proved to be quite the doting mother while walking with her son in a stroller in Brooklyn, Lucy Hale and her dog Elvis were inseparable during an outing in L.A., Krysten Ritter took her RadRover electric bicycle out for a spin in L.A.

Page 19: John Stamos and his wife Caitlin McHugh stopped by an antique shop where they purchased a bunch of old goodies in Santa Monica

Page 20: This year, instead of a traditional runway show, Moschino released a 12-minute film featuring Karen Elson, Shalom Harlow and Amber Vallera wearing new styles from the Fall/Winter 2021 line

Page 21: Alessandra Ambrosio caught up with a pal while walking dogs in L.A., David Harbour eating a treat while out and about in NYC, Daisy Ridley stopped by The Graham Norton Show in London

Page 22: Amelia Gray Hamlin and boyfriend Scott Disick caught some rays while vacationing in Miami, Katie Holmes and boyfriend Emilio Vitolo Jr. color-coordinated their gray-and-black outfits for a lunch date in NYC, Rebel Wilson taking a walk around the neighborhood in L.A.

Page 24: While on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Rachel Brosnahan shielded herself with a see-through umbrella, a newly brunette Lady Gaga in a white suit as she left her hotel in Rome to film the upcoming Gucci biopic, The Masked Singer panelist Jenny McCarthy gave herself a last-minute touch-up before posing for some promo shots

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Chelsea Handler's sleek setup -- she is checking out of her longtime L.A. home

Page 28: In 2009, LeAnn Rimes made headlines when she was caught hooking up with her costar Eddie Cibrian while they were both married to other people and now, more than a decade later, she is opening up about that time in her life and spilling secrets that she's never shared before -- looking back, LeAnn thinks it's unfair that she got raked over the coals like that and the public shaming caused her to suffer panic attacks and all LeAnn did was fall in love -- of course, there are likely big regrets about the way everything happened, but she and Eddie never meant to hurt anyone and they just had this connection they couldn't walk away from and a few months after their romance was revealed LeAnn parted ways with then-husband Dean Sheremet and Eddie filed for divorce from Brandi Glanville and they wed in 2011 -- while LeAnn has been a great stepmom to Eddie's sons Mason and Jack, she'd love to have a child of her own someday and she and Eddie have tried and tried with no success and now that she's pushing 40, they know time is ticking and they could always go the surrogate route, and they just might do it if it doesn't happen naturally in the next few months

Page 29: Liam Hemsworth has been dating Gabriella Brooks for 15 months, and he's so smitten that he could put a ring on it any day now -- Liam's made it clear that he's ready to walk down the aisle again after calling it quits in longtime love Miley Cyrus in 2019 -- everyone is thrilled because Gabriella is so sweet and easygoing, which is just what Liam needs -- Gabriella has already gotten the stamp of approval from the Hemsworth clan, who had long been skeptical of Miley and when Liam brought Gabriella home, his parents thought, that's more like it -- now that Liam's settled in at his new $5 million spread on Byron Bay, all signs point to him popping the question because he's never been happier

* Shedding post-pregnancy weight is never easy but luckily Katy Perry has a secret weapon to help her get back in shape which is Orlando Bloom -- Katy had already dropped 35 pounds since giving birth to the couple's first child, Daisy Dove, thanks to her fitness-obsessed fiance and Orlando has her eating five small vegan meals a day and he follows the same diet to make it easier for her, and Orlando makes sure she hikes or swims at least five days a week and those are the type for fun activities where he can join her -- Orlando's also her biggest cheerleader: during their recent Hawaiian getaway, Katy was nervous because she felt she hadn't lost enough weight but Orlando told her she was one sexy momma and he really is her biggest supporter

* Despite the pandemic, Nicole Kidman's remained one of the busiest women in Hollywood, which is getting under her stuck-at-home husband's skin -- while Keith Urban was forced to cancel his concert tour last year, Nicole had a whirlwind 2020, shooting her miniseries Nine Perfect Strangers in Australia and her historical thriller The Northman in Northern Ireland back-to-back and it's been incredibly hard on Keith because it drives him crazy not being able to get out there on stage -- Nicole hates seeing him the dumps, but she's told him he's lucky to be able to spend so much time with their daughters Sunday and Faith -- with Nicole set to play comedy legend Lucille Ball in Being the Ricardos, which starts filming this spring, that can only put more stress on the marriage but Nicole has no plans to slow down, and she's not making any apologies

Page 30: Patrick Duffy and Linda Purl went from zero to 60 practically overnight, but their turbo-charged romance appears to be slowing down -- ever since Patrick and Linda reconnected last summer, the late-in-life lovebirds have been joined at the hip at Linda's Colorado home, where things have gotten too close for comfort because Patrick's a laid-back guy, but he hasn't had a moment to himself because Linda is always pushing him to get outdoors and do stuff with her and Patrick feels the need for more space and some along time -- spending every moment together and hanging on each other's every word was fun for a while, but they don't want to lose their independence and they realize they need to bring their relationship back down to earth if they actually want to go the distance

* After nearly five blissful years together, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari are still going strong, and it looks like a baby could be in their near future -- Sam recently sent tongues wagging when he revealed that he wants to take their relationship to the next step and be a young dad and Britney is totally on board because she has always wanted another child and now with Sam raring to go, she figures it's the perfect time -- growing her family would be a welcome distraction from Britney's bitter battle with her father Jamie Spears over her controversial conservatorship

* Love Bites -- Jenni "JWoww" Farley and Zack Carpinello engaged, Morena Baccarin and husband Ben McKenzie welcomed a son named Arthur, Nicolas Cage and Riko Shibata married

Page 32: Cover Story -- Palace in Crisis -- the Royal Family is in disarray following Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's bombshell tell-all -- what really offended them was how much Harry and Meghan said they love Queen Elizabeth in one sentence and attacked the institution, everything she stands for and works for, in the next -- it's going to take a miracle for Harry to reconcile with his family after what he and Meghan revealed

Page 36: Celebrity Hall Passes -- stars reveal the Hollywood crushes their partners have granted as freebies -- Eric Decker gets Jessica Alba and his wife Jessie James Decker gets Post Malone

Page 37: Lisa Vanderpump gets George Clooney, Seth Rogen gets Charlize Theron while his wife Lauren Miller gets Brad Pitt, Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa both get Cynthia Bailey

Page 38: Taron Egerton gets Rachel Weisz while his girlfriend Emily Thomas gets Daniel Craig, Kyle Richards wouldn't let her husband Mauricio Umansky near Eva Longoria or Demi Moore but he gets a hall pass for Betty White, Beau Clark gets Bethenny Frankel while wife Stassi Schroeder gets Joaquin Phoenix

Page 40: Interview -- Queen Latifah -- the entertainment icon is having a blast kicking butt in her new TV crime drama The Equalizer

Page 42: The Great Outdoors -- these stars know fresh air and fitness make a killer combo

Page 46: Style Week -- Hailey Bieber has been named global ambassador for Superga's Spring/Summer 2021 season

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- lifestyle brand Sporty & Rich just launched chic athleisure pieces to help you look effortlessly cool this season -- Amber Valletta

Page 49: Stylish Shades -- shop Ashley Graham's flattering frames the model's new collection with Quay

Page 50: Chic House Dresses -- trade knits for airy frocks that will make you feel beautiful all through spring -- Whitney Port

Page 52: Girls' Getaway -- planning a safe spring break with a few BFFs? Pack these stylish essentials to easily look fab on the fly -- Rita Ora

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Wayne Brady

Page 58: Buzz -- Lady Gaga sent the internet into a frenzy after sharing a behind-the-scenes photo of herself with Adam Driver from the set of their Ridley Scott movie, House of Gucci

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Cardi B on staying away from celebs, Mary Steenburgen on husband Ted Danson, Kate Hudson on her iconic yellow dress from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Page 61: Paul Bettany on his stunt with Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code, Jada Pinkett Smith on not focusing on exterior beauty at age 49, Nikki Bella on being intimate with fiance Artem Chigvintsev, Charlize Theron on homeschooling, Julia Garner on her roles of choice

Page 62: Horoscope -- Aries Jessica Chastain turned 44 on March 24

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Paris Hilton

[josy1986]

Till Death do us Part: Pitch Perfect AU

I made a thing, don’t kill me, blame it on House MD and on the random video I found on youtube of Amber dying and Wilson saying his goodbyes. MAYOR CHARACTER DEATH! DONT SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!

Pitch Perfect AU, Beca saying goodbye to Chloe.

@pitchslapped

Soft beeps and the sounds of a machine pumping filled the room as Chloe slowly woke up. Not realizing at first where she was but comforted by the familiar face that she saw when her eyes were fully open. A faint smile spread across her lips but it fell when she noticed the expression on Beca’s face.

Beca’s eyes were red and puffy but the brunette forced a warm smile. “Hey Chlo…” She sniffled and only then did Chloe realize the seriousness of the situation.

“Bec…” She whispered, head leaning backwards against the pillows. Her body was sore, hurting and she hardly had the energy to even move. She looked at the machines surrounding her and she felt tears well in her eyes. “Bec I…” Chloe tried, she did her best but the ability to speak slowly seemed to slip through her fingers while the tight feeling on her throat seemed to worsen. She felt like she was being choked by some invisible hand.

Beca shook her head and bit her lower lip, tears breaking free from her eyes as she crawled on the bed with her friend. Her dying friend.

“I love you…” Beca whispered, her voice unstable while her body shook from fear and the horrible realization that Chloe would die. Beca cupped Chloe’s cheek with one hand, her thumb brushed over the soft but pale skin. “I’ve always had, Chlo.”

Chloe shook her head in disbelief. “No… please…” She cried, now unable to stop the flood of tears that freely streamed down her own face. “I love you… I love you too… so much. I should… I should have told you sooner. Oh god, I should’ve told you years ago.” Chloe wrapped her arms weakly around Beca’s frame, the brunette wrapped her own arms around Chloe’s torso in return. Holding onto the redhead for dear life, like it would stop the inevitable from happening somehow.

“I shouldn’t have gotten onto that bus… should I..?” Chloe whispered and Beca just tightened her hold onto her friend. Chloe’s grip seemed to weaken and the young woman realized what was coming. Her heart franticially beating, keeping her alive, for now. She wouldn’t be here for much longer and the fact that she laid in this room, surrounded by machines and Beca by her side made it clear as day that nothing could be done.

Beca felt her heart shatter when Chloe broke down and she too joined the dying woman. She pulled back slightly to let her forehead rest against Chloe’s. The redhead’s hands now cupped Beca’s face while two sets of tears fell on the covers.

Beca scooted closer to the other woman, holding her close while they both cried bitter tears at the inescapable outcome and at the loss it would mean. Chloe’s life would come to an end, far sooner than either had ever thought would happen. Both thought they had an entire future ahead of them, filled with more adventures, sleep overs, seemingly endless conversations over the phone about anything and everything. A first kiss.

All taken away by a careless driver in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t that the doctors hadn’t tried, because they did but the diagnosis had been discovered too late and Chloe’s body was already shutting down. 

Now all that was left was an end to a life that would come far too soon. 

Chloe’s sobs slowly died down while her hands remained on Beca’s cheeks. Both women now lay on their sides, facing one another with Beca’s arms still firmly around Chloe’s body.

The older Bella swallowed hard, using one hand to brush some hairs from Beca’s forehead, giving her the faintest of smiles. Perhaps in her own way trying to bring Beca any measure of comfort. She didn’t know how much time she had left, days, hours, minutes, seconds? She didn’t dare ask Beca either because that would make it real and official.

Somehow, while she felt her heart starting to settle back in a normal rhythm, Chloe felt at peace. If this would be indeed her final moments in life, she wanted to make sure she’d squeeze everything she had out of it. She was with the woman she loved and who loved her back. Her favorite person in the whole entire world, if this is the end, then she would accept it. How many people can say they died in the arms of the person they loved..? Chloe guessed not many.

“Kiss me…” She whispered, her voice hardly audible but Beca’s eyes widened.

“Are… are you…” Beca hesitated, not sure if she heard it right or not but Chloe nodded, her chest rising and falling slower.

So Beca obliged, closing the small gap between them by pressing her lips tenderly against Chloe’s. The kiss was everything either of them had ever hoped for, their hearts beating as one in these final moments of Chloe’s life. The redhead was where she wanted to be, she felt at home, at peace and she felt loved.

Neither of them knew how long they lay there, kissing, holding one another, whispering words of love and adoration to each other but in the end, Chloe rested her head back down on the pillows beneath her.

“I’m so tired…” She whispered, her voice weak. “I think… I think it’s time…” A tear rolled down her cheek when Beca shook her head.

“No… no just a little longer.” She whispered back, not ready to let go although she would never be ready.

Chloe closed her eyes, nuzzling weakly against Beca’s warm neck. “We’ll… always want… a little bit longer…” Even while on the machines, Chloe’s body was growing weaker by the minute. Every breath she took was exhausting. “It’s… okay, Bec…”

Beca shook her head. “No… no it's not..! It’s not… how can you be okay..? Why aren’t you angry? Why-” Beca stopped when her eyes locked with Chloe’s tired ones. There was no resentment, no anger, no fear. Only love and adoration while she looked at the woman who had held her heart for so many years.

“Because I don’t want to feel that… when I go.” She explained softly, her voice cracking due to the amount of energy it cost her to speak.

Beca whimpered, holding onto Chloe one final time, before she let go and slightly turned towards the machines that stood by Chloe’s bedside. Prolonging her life.

The doctors had explained to her how they worked and told her what needed to be done to shut them off once the time came to do so. 

That moment had come and with a heavy heart, Beca pressed the buttons on each of the four machines that Chloe was attached to. The humming slowly dying down and Beca turned back towards Chloe when the last machine stopped.

“I love you. I’ll always love you.” Beca whispered and Chloe smiled.

“I love you too, Beca.” She whispered, her eyes fluttering shut as exhaustion slowly took over. “I love you…” She felt it, the undenying end as her heartbeat slowed down. “Always…” Her chest rose and fell, the grip on Beca’s clothes slacked and her hands fell on the mattress. The soft beeping that meant that Chloe’s heart was still beating now gone.

And Beca felt like her own heart had stopped too.

[saphyrenights]

When two different people tag you to do something, you should probably do it. @scottstiles and @lozenger8 both tagged me for the 5 male characters you love thing. Thanks, guys!

1. John Wick

Yes, he’s an assassin, but he has the softest heart and just wants to grieve the loss of his wife and puppy in quiet solitude. He doesn’t bother anyone and tries to mind his own business, but outside forces are keeping him from finding the peace he’s searching for. Keanu does such a great job of humanizing a man who sees himself as lost and broken, and I think that’s why it’s so easy to empathize with someone who society says isn’t deserving of that empathy.

2. James Pope

Y’all knew I couldn’t make this list and not include Kyle Mooney. In Brigsby Bear, he portrays James Pope, a young man whose social development has been arrested due to being abducted as a child and raised in an underground bunker far away from society with only his captors and a fake TV show about an anthropomorphic bear for company. Kyle plays James as naieve and innocent without ever making the audience question James’s intelligence. He works through the heavy feelings that come from having been force fed a lie about his life for his entire existence, and his family and friends all come together to help him achieve his goal of finishing the fake show Brigsby Bear Adventures in what becomes a testament to creativity, friendship, and letting go of the past. 

I wasn’t expecting this character to stick with me, but he’s up there with Scott McCall IMHO (yes really). Seriously, if you haven’t seen Brigsby Bear, go watch it. Here’s the trailer!

3. Balki Bartokomous

Okay, so apparently I’m into soft, social misfits doing their best to navigate our cold, cold society lol. Balki was one of the first TV characters I ever grew attached to. He’s just the right counterbalance to his Cousin Larry’s neurotic cynicism, and he often holds up a mirror to certain hypocrasies that exist in American culture (in a humorous way, of course; Perfect Strangers ended up being TGIF’s flagship show before Family Matters took off, so they couldn’t alienate TOO many people). Balki was kind, big-hearted, loyal, and fiercely protective of the people he loved. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body, and he was a fantastic role model for a lil kid looking for something to watch on Wednesday and Friday nights.   

4. James Wilson

Wilson is legit one of my favorite television characters of all time, hands down. He’s an extremely complicated man who’s figured out how to live and work and save lives while also denying his own right to happiness. He lectures-yet-enables House because, for better or for worse, he realizes he cannot live without House (he tried after Amber died; it didn’t go well). Their relationship is codependent to an unhealthy degree, and Wilson recognizes this...and eventually becomes okay with it. It wasn’t until he was dying from cancer that he understood that he had permission to ask for the things he wanted and needed emotionally...like House’s love. I still can’t believe this show went there, but I’m so glad it did. 

But I can’t go there right now because I’ll just start down a Hilson spiral, and I need to get to bed soon lmao 

And then Wilson’s cancer went into remission and he and House lived happily ever after. Yep. That’s what happened.  

5. Rafael Barba

As a brash, antagonistic, hotshot lawyer who’s preternaturally good at what he does, Barba had a lot to learn about factoring the human element into his practice and his personal life. He faces hard, moral dilemmas sometimes, and he has to decide what kind of person he wants to be in the end. I picked this gif in particular because it’s an example of him trying his best to offer comfort to Olivia while also admitting he has no idea how to do that. But he’s going to at least try no matter what. That’s a far cry from the steamrolling Barba we’re introduced to years before, and even though his progress was slow, he made it. I hated to see him go, but I loved that he found his moral compass, even if it was a little rusty. It was still good, and he was good. 

Also, his wardrobe. Dear lord his wardrobe deserved its own show.

Honorable Mentions:

~*~*~*SCOTT MCCALL*~*~*~

Benton Fraser

Data

I don’t know who all’s been tagged at this point.

@elfysparkles88​ @queer-vampire @runicscribbles @thisplacehaseverything​ @i-fought-space​ @anomalagous​

...and anyone else who wants to do this.

[kimmie113080]

Refusing to Yield Chapter 37

This is based on real life. Just names have been changed to protect the person identity. There is mention of all types abuse. If trig, please don’t read it. Reader get into a relationship with Kim Seokjin and Min Yoongi but all BTS is in this series. There are other people mentioned in this series.  

Ann had a flash back before we went on tour. Amber admitted to Ann she was always at the parties that they threw. She took Ann’s phone, so when Ann saw her parents’ house. Ann could not call little w to come get her. I noticed the way Brad would look at Ann like she was just a piece of meat in school. I asked him the one day and he told if you only knew why. We need to get Miss Potts here and let her know there is at least three staff members at the hospital who need to be fired.  Mike yes Mark we need to let Ann know Miss Potts is coming and why. I do not want to upset Ann. Believe me when I said none of us want Ann to upset all today specially after she just had back surgery. 

Uncle Carl yes little w is there more names that has raised your interest to see if any us of know them. Those are the three name that I saw from Ann record’s I know. I have not had the chance see if there are more name that match names in Ann’s records. Mike yes Mark maybe Ann should look at the hospital staff list before Miss Potts gets here. Mike yes Tim I agree with Mark to let Ann look at the list. Bill yes Mike what do you think. I say yes because if Ann needs to go back to the hospital. We will know she is safe there. Mom and dad what do you think we should do? Let Ann look at the list to see if there are names. 

If she does remember them but does not remember if they hurt double check with her records. I just want Ann to relax and be calm. Mike we all want that for Ann specially today too. Why don’t we all go out there and let Ann decide. That is a great idea Greg. Plus, if she wants Miss Potts to come today or wait until she has looked at the list. Uncle Carl yes, Tim once Ann looks at the list double check with her records. Greg and Jason stay calm please while I explain something. Ann blocked out what her Uncle Jim and David did to her. Ann had flash back before Jason and Greg came into the group.

The first night Jim was here Ann took a bad flash back with Jin in the bathroom. Are you saying Ann blocked out what David did to Ann in the boy’s bathroom at school. Yes, that is what I am saying. Remember what Bryan said our first day in Philadelphia sometimes people block out the hurt people did to them until the right people come along. Little w did you do back around check on David when you learn his name. When Ann came home from the party happy. She told me met a guy there. Right away I asked for his name knowing everything Ann went through it came back he has abused chargers on him. Ann asked him right in front of me about them. He told us he could not watch his father beat his mother and sister anymore.

I am telling you both the same thing I told Tim when we learned the truth about David. I believed he was telling the truth and if I had any suspicion. I would have call Tim right away to make sure Ann would be safe around him. I did go over everyday for the first four months to make sure Ann was okay. The last day I saw her in our home area. Ann was screaming David hit her because she was trying to meet me outside. She lied to me saying she fell, and David was picking her up. Remember when Uncle Carl told Ann on tour in San Diego. They were plotting against me and other five on rape chargers. He knew I went over everyday to check on Ann to make sure there was no bruise on her.

He threatened Ann that day if she did not say what he wanted her say. Us six would have landed in jail on false rape chargers. I am sorry Ann was put back in their hands after I saved her over four years before the night she went to the party. Ken you did your best by hiding Ann in our home area. You changed her name and made her feel loved. That party Ann went to was not our fault. I still wish I did more to protect Ann. Ken yes, papa m you came to Ann side again when she was able to call you for help. You taught all of us how to give Ann her medicine and help with the collapse, flash backs, and panic attacks. Please remember you did a lot more for Ann without knowing about her.

I will remember that papa m. What I am talking about the night Ann had the courage to leave home she thought about killing herself. On the way there is when she met little w and Big R. They took her in when she had nowhere else to go.  Yes, I remember Ann talking about that before we went on tour that Friday Jason and Tom join our family for the tour. Mike what are you saying is little w saved my niece life. Yes, Bill that is what I am saying. Little w yes Bill Jr. thank you for everything you guys have done for my niece. It is not a problem at all. I think we all should head back in there to talk to Ann.

Ann yes papa m we need to talk to you about hospital staff list. Okay papa m what is going on. There are three names that show up in your records from home. What are their names. Kelly Smith, Amber Wilson, and Brad Smith are on the staff list. Tim did you explain who Kelly Smith is to everyone. Yes, Ann I did explain who Kelly Smith is. I promise you she will not get anywhere near you again. We all know Amber is the one who helped them get their hands back on you. Sam do you remember Brad Smith from school.

I remember he used to look at you like a piece a meat. He was part of them who Steve would let use me. Ann yes, Sam I promise Brad will not get nowhere near you either. Can I look at the list to see if I remember anyone else. Yes, Ann you can look at the list but if you do not remember Uncle Carl is going to cross check the list with your records. We want Miss Potts to come over today, so she knows those three need to be fired at least. Can we please wait until we know if more need to be fire than just those three. Yes, Ann we can wait to contact Miss Potts. Bryan look at the date those three were hired. Ann what did you find?

Bryan are you seeing what I am seeing? Yes, Ann I see the date those three were hired. What are you two talking about. Bryan please explain while look at the rest of the list. What Ann and I are talking about those three were hired the same day we saw Dr. Storm and schedule Ann back surgery. Everyone there are more dates within that same week of people being hired. Uncle Carl yes Ann I need access to my records like now. Ann honey what is wrong? There are to many people who have been hired the week I saw Dr. Storm. Ann how many altogether were hired the same week you saw Dr. Storm beside the three we know about.      

There are at least seven more within that week. Andy yes Carl we might need access to people working in your office. There are to many people for my liking hired within the week Ann saw you and her surgery was schedule. Carl yes Andy I am thinking the same thing. Bryan yes Ann did you confirm my appointment with Dr Storm office before we went? No, Ann I did not confirm your appointment. I thought you confirmed because I never got the call. I never confirmed the appointment either. They were supposed to call my office or your cell phone Bryan. I remember we gave both numbers.

Greg did you answer my office phone at all to confirm any appointments before we left? No, Ann I did not answer your office phone. Fred, little w, or Tim any of you confirm any appointments? Ann yes, none of us confirm any appointments for you before we left. Crap he tried again but he failed this time. Ann honey what are you talking about? The night I told everyone that I was having back surgery three weeks after we came back. There was only one person who did not look surprised. Uncle Jim was the only one who did not look surprised. He was also the only always in my office.

He must have confirmed the appointment. Your right Ann because my office wrote down everyone’s name who confirmed my patient’s appointment. I remember seeing the name James next to your appointment for that Wednesday. I figured if he confirmed your appointment that he knew about it. No, we did not tell anyone until that Friday night when Jason and Tom joined this family. We just told them it would be three weeks after we got back from the tour. How did they learn that my surgery was today. Dr. Storm what is that lady name who schedule your surgeries? Melissa Weaver is the one who schedules for me. Ann why do you look like you seen a ghost.

She looked like someone I know from my past. Okay Ann I will cross check her name from your records. Tom or Uncle Bill please call Chris. Why do we need to call Chris. I need his help along with Sam, and little w. Ann honey what are you going to do? First, I am going to see how I know her. Then I am going to see if she gave any tips on when my surgery was being done. That is why I need Chris, little w, and Sam help. Ann yes, Sam what do you need me to do?

I need you to search her name and find out if she has two cell phones’. Little w hack into Dr. Storm employee records see where grew up at? I can do that Ann. Ann yes; it is Chris how can I help you? I need watch Dr. Storm office feed and keep tabs on a Melissa Weaver? I can do that for you. Ann yes, Sam she has to cell phones. Great Sam you take the one cell phone and give me the second one. I did not see who called Chris and put him on speaker phone. Greg yes, Ann set up your laptop please for me. I can do that      Ann.

Uncle Carl are all my records saved to your computer. Yes, Ann they are on my computer. Okay good because I am hacking your computer in two minutes. Greg your computer set up for me to use now. Yes, Ann you can access what you need to. I thought you knew a little more than what you let people believe. You are right Ann on that. Good watch my computer any suspicious text message to my Uncle Jim’s number. I can do that Ann. Uncle Carl yes, Ann do you make a list of everyone involved with hurting me?

Yes, I did Ann, but it is encrypted. I have already found that file on your computer. I am sending it to Greg’s computer now. I left an encrypted file on your computer. Little w due your thing because Melissa Weaver is on the list. Chris do you have eyes on Melissa now. Yes, I do Ann, but she likes nervous some reason. Tim and Fred give me your phones because I want to see her look. We can do that for you Ann. Little w what did you do?

I did not do anything. Ann yes, Sam she has text messages from a lot of different numbers on this phone. Okay run the numbers to see who they belong to. Ann, yes Greg she sent two text messages to Jim. The first one was telling him you had an appointment with Dr. Storm that Wednesday before we left. The second one was telling him the date when your surgery was going to be done. Okay we know she was working with my Uncle Jim but who else? We cannot get her for sending those texts message because at that time. There was no stay away order against my uncle Jim. I need to find out who else she was sending message to?

Sam have you found out the names yet? Mike, Uncle Bill, Uncle Carl, and Uncle Mark yes, Sam can you come over here please? Yes, Sam we can do that for you. Ann yes, Sam there are names I do not know. I want your dad and all your uncles to look at these names before I say anything to you. Maybe Tim should have a look at those names also. I am on that Ann. Chris yes; Bill send Clint and Nat to pick her up. She was texting Frank and David about anything. I can do that for you Bill. The seven other people the same week I saw Dr. Storm were in my records of people hurting me in the past. We called Miss Potts over to give her the list everyone needing to be fired from the hospital and the reason why.

Miss Potts was shocked how quick we found the rats since I was discharged to go home. Uncle Bill and Uncle   Carl would be present when Miss Potts fires them all.  After all that was done. I      change focus on seeing if anyone submitted any entries for our contest. I was surprised there were over two hundred entries. Lisa yes, Ann didn’t you there was no entries for the contest after released the statement about my surgery. Yes, Ann I did say that why. There are over two hundred entries now. Ann yes, Greg maybe everyone was waiting to hear how your surgery went before entering in the contest. That would make sense since        Army knows how the guys feel about you. We need to start writing down the areas that have been submitted to us.

Plus, make sure no area the group has been in has been submitted. Ann why do you look like you seen a ghost because someone submitted my home area to have a concert there. I want to know if this person is a fan or is there a hidden motive behind this entry. Ann we can always skip that area. No, we will not do that if there are true army fans there. I am not going to deny anyone the right to see this group in any area. If we find out there are true army fans there. We will just have to double the security on tour if that area winners. I have the perfect idea on how to find out if there are fans there. Jason, Tim, and Big B are going to go home to see their families but also learn if BTS has fans there. Ann honey yes, papa m that is a smart idea sending those three back home.

I hope your guys are okay with doing that. Ann yes, Tim it will be fun going home to see our parents and see if there are true army fans there. How do you want us to do that Ann? When you guys are home please visit the music stores to see if they are selling BTS albums and ask around if people have heard about the group. We can do that for you Ann. Greg and Lisa yes Ann I need you two checking social media to see if anyone is posting stuff from that area. This is how we are going to find if this entry is real or someone planning something for that area. We are going to random checks for that area. Greg, Lisa, and the group are the only ones who will not visit that area. How does that sound to everyone?

Ann honey yes, papa m that sounds like a great plan to me. It is the smart way to see if it is a set up or if there are really fans there. I am not allowing any of us to walk into a trap for someone can get their hands on me. If my home area as true fans security is going to have to be doubled. I do not know if there are anyone working with them in jail because of me. I know the police department cannot be trusted there. Ann we might be maybe to get help from all the other police department that have become your friends. I think that might work since I do not know if the cops there will want to protect us. Ann yes, Tim all those cops might be retired now. They might be or might not be.

I do not know if there are cops there might have been part of hurting me in the past. Ann if we go their security will be tight around the hotel and concert. I am okay with that. We have entries for areas in Florida, Texas, and California. Cool we just need to double check to make sure the has never been in those area before. Nana and pop what do you think we should do? Ann let’s go by what you suggested first. If it is true, there are fans there. We all will come up with a plan for your safety okay. Yes, I am okay with that. I want to release a statement to the Army.

Ann honey why do not want until tomorrow to release a statement. You have been through enough today. Okay papa m that sounds like a good idea. Is everyone staying or are certain people going home. Ann honey do you want everyone here with you? Princess how about for the next couple days everyone here stays overnight. If they have work, they come back for the night. How does that sound to you? I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable or it be inconvenience anyone. Mom and dad yes Bill sometimes Ann cannot voice what she is feeling or bothering her.

Ann yes, nana I have the next five nights off from the shelter, so it will not be a problem for us to stay with you. If us staying with you helps make you feel more relax and calm. We are happy to do it. Yes, nana that would help me feel more relax and calm. Papa m you do not mind if they stay here. Ann honey yes, papa m I told you whatever helps feel calmer, relax and safe that it is not a problem. You all know I do not like be a burdened to anyone. Ann you are not being a burdened to any of us. I am being a burden to telling everyone how I feel. Ann yes, nana you not being a burdened by telling us how you feel.

You have never been a burdened to me since the day I might you. You a sweet, loving young lady who has been put through more things than I as an adult have been. What you have been through no one should go through, but you went through it. We cannot change the past because the past is behind us. The future is unknown to us, but all we have is the present. Each day you push forward is a day you win, and not the people who hurt you. Mrs. Brown thank you for saying all that to Ann. Everyone can call me Joy or nana if you prefer. I can tell there are more than just Ann who had a rough start to life. Joy yes, Mark yes there are two more who had kind of same past as Ann, and one where they lost their family.

Chris, John, and Lisa all look at Ann has they are all sibling. John and Lisa can relate to Ann about what they been though in their past. That is one reason I asked John to be the air marshal on their flights from Philadelphia, Pa until they came home. He was the only one I trusted to protect Ann they way she needed to be. I asked Chris to work the day they landed in San Diego since he was head of security out there. I knew Ann was safe with everyone around her. I just wanted to feel safe after what happened in Philadelphia and Dallas. By me doing just that little giving extra security comforts. Ann brought home my three kids to me. After the first problem they had in San Diego Ann and John started talking.

She wanted to meet Lisa plus, take Lisa on stage to show her there are kind people in this world. That same of Ann showing Lisa there are kind people in this world is the night everyone but Sam and I why she was put through everything. I was on the phone with John when the power went out. At moment I caught the red eye to San Diego and met them at the hotel to give Ann an extra support person. Uncle Mark yes, Ann I just thought of this how did you know what hotel we were at in San Diego? I text Uncle Carl when in landed to find out where us guys were staying at. Ann here are the text messages. Thank you both for showing me them. Ann yes Uncle Carl I told you in San Diego I will always let you see and hear anything when it comes to you. I remember you saying that to me Uncle Carl.

It as been a long day for everyone how about we all get ready to go to sleep. I think that is a good idea Mike. Ann you specially need to get some sleep because I know you baring slept last night. Ann yes Bryan before you try to fall asleep let’s get all your treats in your system but if you wake up from pain please wake someone up. If it is time to give your treats again. We will do that but if not, we will give you Tylenol to help with the pain until you are able to have all your treats again. Bryan that sounds good to me. Okay everyone understands the plan. Yes, Bryan we all understand the plan with Ann treats. Okay are to be given every six hours for pain. Okay it is 9 pm now.

[tribeworldarchive]

Interview with the Creators of The Tribe - Raymond Thompson and Harry Duffin!

Where did the idea for the Tribe come from? Why does the Tribe have Zoot, Amber, Bray and the other characters? Where is the Tribe set? The Interviews section is where you will find the answers to these questions and many more from interviews with the cast and behind the scenes members of the Cloud 9 team who make the Tribe. We have received loads of emails and letters with questions about the Tribe both on-screen and off-screen - and there are more questions posted each day on Tribe Talk. Many of the answers to these questions will be given by the people featured in the Interviews section. In this interview, we are pleased to put forward 20 questions to the creators and devisors of the Tribe, Raymond Thompson (who is also the Executive Producer) and Harry Duffin (who is also the Script Consultant for the series). The answers to the questions are given below as RT for Raymond Thompson, and HD for Harry Duffin. You will also be able to find some other interviews with Raymond Thompson about his role as Executive Producer of the Tribe, and with Harry Duffin in his role as Script Consultant, by clicking on the READ OTHER INTERVIEWS link at the top of this page. There will be more interviews with members of cast - and other behind the scenes members of the Cloud 9 team - in the near future. We would like to thank Raymond Thompson and Harry Duffin for their time as they are extremely busy working on Tribe Series 2. THE INTERVIEW 1. What are your names? Raymond Thompson (RT) and Harry Duffin (HD) 2. Where did the idea for The Tribe come from? RT: I have always been intrigued with the notion of a new world order which probably emanates from coming of age in the 60`s where young people were tremendously affected by the cultural explosion of music, fashion and political climate at the time. Over the years, and with each generation, there has been an element of the rebellious, a feeling that the adults have somehow “screwed up” and that the new generation can build a better world. So the tribe has been simmering for several years in my mind in abstract terms and is a great vehicle to portray the theme of the young inheriting the earth and rebuilding society in their own image (the prime theme of the series is examination of whatever that image might be). HD: A magical moment for Ray Thompson. One of those gifts a writer sometimes gets, if he/she listens hard enough. Never question where a great idea comes from, just say `thanks` and use it. 3. From the idea and concept for the series that became The Tribe, what was the process involved in turning it from an idea - into a series? How was the idea expanded and developed into a series? RT: As a writer with a reasonable track record I have been approached on several occasions to develop new products which tends to be derivative of past successes. I enjoyed enormous acclaim working on Howard`s Way and for a time was approached to develop further soaps which was not really of any interest to me. When I was approached by Nick Wilson of Channel 5 to develop a soap for the millennium targeting a child/adolescent market I was attracted by the notion of structuring a normal framework for human interplay within an abnormal backdrop. I have often described The Tribe as Mad Max meets Neighbours or The Terminator meets Home And Away and was particularly encouraged by Nick`s supportive attitude to really push the boundaries and let my imagination go to develop a series with attitude which could be edgy and as unique as I want it (limited only by the imagination) as long as the issues remain truthful and reflected the world children and young people inhabit. I had worked with Harry Duffin on several occasions and admired his skill as a writer but, above all, his interest in producing quality television which we both believe can only be achieved with conviction and integrity and I thought that Harry would be an ideal collaborator. Harry also shares a love of writers and the creative process. After we exchanged thoughts and ideas we wrote an initial treatment (which basically is a series synopsis and character breakdown) we recruited a team of writers and began discussing the premise. This process is a fulfilling and rewarding one whereby each member of the writing team contributed to the creative discussion and within the brief and before long the tribe started to take shape. HD: how long have I got? Basically, Ray and I tossed around potential characters, and I chatted with a fellow writer, Mike Kenny, who works closely with the age-group, about teenagers attitudes today, because my two daughters are grown up, so I`m not as in touch with teenage life as regularly as I used to be [sadly]. From there we produced a basic premise, only a page or two, character outlines, and an outline for episode one [which changed in the development process, as they always do]. Then I got together a team of writers, [about ten initially] and we developed the story format.

5. Was there anything you were particularly looking to include in how The Tribe evolved? RT: I was personally very keen to develop a series that would challenge and stimulate an audience rather than rely on lowest common denominator storylines and I think the tribe certainly poses some interesting questions about the world we all inhabit. Interwoven with this I was very keen to portray an attitude and look so that the characters, as well as the world they inhabit, remained creditable. Young people, for example, through the ages have always used fashion to express themselves and I think the look of The Tribe represents young people of the future and says a lot about their attitudes and aspirations. HD: Problems for our characters to solve in their new world. Problems of technology, how to get clean water, some form of power, and also problems of morality. If there`s no one around to tell you how to behave how do you behave? Weıd all have different answers, like Zoot`s attitude versus Amber`s. 6. What were you not looking to include in the evolution of The Tribe? RT: Again, I was very keen to push the boundaries and ensure that we did not trivialise the subject matter of The Tribe. With a series of this genre it would be quite easy to become cliché and negative and to side step some of the hard hitting issues that we intended to explore. And overall, I am very proud that we remained truthful to the original ideal in developing The Tribe and confronted every element rather than run from them to take creative refuge and perhaps ignore the issues we set out to explore. Those issues I believe have been tackled in a multi-dimensional way and I hope are provocative to allow an audience to draw their own conclusions of what is right or wrong in the realisation that the very root of morality is often grey and we have tried to portray that (ie. that issues are not only black and white and often grey). HD: First and foremost, we didn`t want to glorify violence. In the anarchic world of `The Tribe`, [like our own world, sadly] some form of violence is inevitable. But there`s quite enough in the commercial cinema, and we wanted to show there are different things to aspire to. 7. Why are there so many main characters? RT: It is essential to fuel storylines via the character interplay. HD: For a `soap` there aren`t that many characters. Most UK soaps have over twenty and counting. As The Tribe develops, no doubt we`ll introduce new characters and increase the number too. But like any story with a vast canvas, [as we hope ours has], you need a number of main characters to fuel the storylines. Think of most of Dickens novels, or `Vanity Fair` or any number of great stories. 8. What audience age group were you looking to aim at when developing The Tribe? RT: The Tribe is targeted primarily at an audience age of 8 to 18 but we believe that the series can be enjoyed by all outside that age group who are interested in soaps with the subject matter. HD: From eight to eighty. Iıve always believed that a great story for kids, should be able to be enjoyed by adults. Go to any classic Disney film in the cinema and watch the adults gazing spellbound. Have you seen `Toy Story`?. A great script. Beats the newest `Star Wars` effort hands down for story and character. 9. Why are there no adults in the series? RT: All the adults have died within our storylines but some adults might appear at some point… HD: Haven`t you been paying attention? Theyıve all been wiped out by the virus! Or have they…? Wait and see… 10. How long did The Tribe take to create and develop - over what period of time? RT: In actual real time approximately two years to bring the first series to fruition (ie from the time I discussed the project with Nick Wilson at Channel 5 to the time the first series was broadcast) but, as previously mentioned, I have wanted to do this series for several years as it houses radical issues which are both profound and dramatic - and I know that Harry Duffin has also wanted to explore these as well for a very long time. HD: About ninety years - which is how long Ray and I have been fascinated by stories and story-telling. Oh, you mean actually? Ray threw the idea at me in November [`97] and we produced our first block of four scripts by July `98.

11. Why are the main Tribe characters based in a shopping mall? RT: We needed a base where the Tribe could interact as a group for both logistical reasons and creative. Within the shopping mall there is also intriguing shops for the characters themselves to inhabit so that privately and collectively the writers have a unique framework to explore the character development and interplay. HD: Mazlo`s hierarchy of needs states that one of womankind`s basic priorities is safe shelter [and mankind`s, for that matter.] The mall is defendable, [to a degree], itıs got separate places for our guys to make their own, and more importantly, it keeps all our main characters together, which for us writers is essential. Otherwise youı`d have a lot of scenes with people talking to themselves. Very boring. 12. Is The Tribe meant to be set anywhere in particular? RT: The Tribe is set anywhere in the world. HD: Mo. It`s supposed to be universal, really. In the universe, but who knows where? Is it on earth? Maybe. Only time, and the muse, will reveal all… 13. How did you decide upon the issues that would feature in the storylines - such as environmental messages, teenage pregnancy or bulimia? RT: I think young people have always been very much in tune spiritually and tend to be more elemental than material and this is always an interesting area to explore which usually manifests in themes of idealism. As far as other issues in rebuilding a new world we are able to focus on technology and the environment and science and all that that entails which provides fuel for good storylines. We have also tried to examine issues that young people live everyday of their life from bullying to bulimia and all of this has been interwoven with the emotional interplay which always drives the best drama (ie the examination of inner conflict and the loves, fears, betrayals and ambitions within a group of people). HD: Look around you, buddy. What`s out there is what we use. We don`t want to preach, but we do want to reflect life as it really is. Bulimia is a tragedy that often affects teenage girls a very close friend of mine suffered from it, and it`s her experience that drove our story for Salene. It`s the same with every issue we include. Whatıs more important than the environment, the world we rely on for our very life? [except maybe our latestboy/girlfriend, rave, movie idol?] I joke. Our main aim is to entertain and engage an audience, but if the series gets some people thinking, who wouldn`t otherwise have thought about things, then that`s great. 14. Are there any ideas that were considered in the development of The Tribe - but that were not used? RT: The creative process is a painful and arduous one and ideas are forever being dropped or changed. And so approximately 10% of ideas discussed end up being scripted and even then end up evolving right up until the material is shot and committed. Its organic. The strength for any good series lies in the writing. That is the sole creative area. All other areas are interpretive (although that process itself requires a creative expertise) in the sense that someone has interpreted something that a writer has created. HD: Tons. For every ten ideas thrown up in development, maybe only a couple would be used. It`s an experiment. What works, what doesn`t work? And thatıs only a matter of opinion, of taste, instinct. Some names, like Zoot [dreamed up by our lead writer, Dave Fox] come ready made. Others you have to work at, like choosing a name for a baby. What works for PaulaYates might not be right for you or me. Secret: Bob, the dog, was originally called Sherbert, but the dog responded better to it`s real name, and the youngsters in the cast had made friends with the real dog and kept calling it `Bob` during the takes. After about take twenty was ruined, it was decided to give up and let the dog win.

15. What messages does The Tribe say to its audience? RT: I hope the message is a positive one. The notion of what happens in a series is totally different to what a series is about. Everyone knows what happens in The Tribe but that is not necessarily what the series is about and I would hope that the Mall Rats tribe and their aspirations and triumphs through their various encounters and adversities is a shining testament which will inspire a viewer to realise that human grasp can, and does, extend beyond reach and that there is always hope whereby good triumphs in the end. The prime underlying thematic is young people rebuilding a new world and in that context the theme is a profound one about conscientiousness determining existence or existence determining conscientiousness. This question and theme has challenged humanity since time began and it is doubtful whether there is an answer to that question. The soul of that question has inspired some of the greatest political minds of our time and although Marxist dogma might fall on the side that existance determines conscientiousness - I hope that the Tribe portrays that conscientiousness, in the end determines existence. Within our character interplay we have structured various voices to represent all kinds of theories (ie. Tai-San is mystical, Bray the elemental, Jack the practical, et cetera) but within the human condition overall I believe that the emotions of all the characters in the Tribe lies within us all. Some aspects are dormant, others lie sleeping and just need to awaken, others run rampant. But overall I think the storylines will entertain on one level, but on another level I sincerely hope that that are provocative enough for an audience to question whom why, what, where. HD: I think I`ve answeres some of that earlier. We`re not trying to `educate`, but we are trying to provoke a response. And yes, out main `hero` characters do have a positive attitude to life. I know Zoot is very popular (some of you guys are very weird!) but would you really like him as your own best mate? Boyfriend? You could argue that he is being positive in his own way, I guess, the only way he knows how in a dangerous world, but putting the world back together again isn`t just about looking after number one, is it? 16. What do you feel is the best thing about the Tribe - and why? RT: I think the best thing about The Tribe is its vision and scope and the fact that it is a landmark series ­ and a brave one for all concerned to embark upon. HD: Everything. I love it. It`s a crazy world and guess what? It`s set to get crazier yet! 17. What advice would you give to anybody reading this who might have their own idea for a series - how should they go about progressing it? RT: Writing is like everything else in life and if a person believes in something then they must vigorously pursue it no matter what anyone else thinks if they believe in their heart that what they are seeking is right. No-one has a monopoly on what is good or bad in writing - it is purely subjective and it has been my experience that the key to success as a writer - like anything else in life - is patience and persistance. Nothing succeeds like persistance - but it can take some time and this requires patience. HD: The most common problem about series ideas is that though they may be exciting initially, they often don`t have what we call `legs` in our business. That means the premise wonıt hold or develop over a period of time. So my best advice is, don`t write episode one, write episode ten, or a hundred and ten. If it`s still exciting then, you may have a winner. 18. Is The Tribe a one-off series or an on-going series? RT: Harry Duffin and I, and indeed all members of the Cloud 9 team, believe that The Tribe can run forever. But the ultimate deciding factor is the audience. As long as the fans want to view the series and then every member of the team will be happy to produce it. HD: Ray and I think it can last forever. But that`s for you guys to decide. It`ll last as long as you watch it. 19. When is the tribe set - how long after the adults disappeared? RT: Notionally we think in terms of 9 months after the adults disappear. HD: We figured about six to nine months. 20. What about series 2 of the tribe - what aspects do the back-story elements look at? RT: With the series of the tribe we have a definitive story structure about the world our characters inhabit. The characters themselves also have their own history and in series 2 we explore an interesting back story and will continue to show elements of what happened before which I think will interest viewers when they are witnessing what happens now and second guessing what will happen in the future. HD: There`s a great back-storyline about how Bray, Ebony, Trudy and Zoot were before the virus. If you ever wanted to know how Zoot became the Zoot we all love to hate, all will be revealed in series two.

[peacefulwriter88]

One That Got Away - Chapter 2

Steve Rogers x OFC Ariadne Bellamy

Chapter 2: Between the Bars

Universe: Marvel Canon

Rating: M for Mature (Language, Sexual tones eventual)

“Well that was a bust.”

Steve gives a low chuckle as he follows Sam out of the brownstone, the soft rays of the bright sun greeting them.

“You weren’t kidding when you said rent was outlandish on this island. Not like I didn’t believe you but goddamn…that’s like….someone’s paycheck. Like both our paychecks and maybe even Natasha’s for good measure.”

Steve chuckles and nods, stuffing his hands into the thick blue bomber jacket that he hugged tighter to his frame.

“You’re telling me,” he flickers his eyes back up at the brownstone, before taking a look around the neighborhood and sighing. “I’m starting to think that I might have to just be ok with living in the tower for a few months longer.”

“Fucking sucks,” Sam agrees and then nudges him, trying to lighten the situation, “But at least someone else agreed. That cutie with the outburst before storming out. That was pretty bold. And also why she’s the kinda girl I’d probably hang out with in high school….” He pauses a second, before chuckling and shaking his head, “Who am I kidding, she’d be too cool for me in high school. College for sure tho – I think she’d be a great wing woman.”

Steve can tell Sam is just waiting for him to laugh at the small joke he’s inserted into the statement, waiting for some kind of positive response. Normally, Steve would feed it to him. Instead he’s distracted this morning, his mind is working overtime and though he gives Sam a small smile, Sam can already tell that it’s insincere, not reaching his eyes. Steve hates that Sam has the type of silent ability to read him, to pull out the parts of his personality he tries to keep hidden from the rest of the world and turns away instead, allowing the bill of his cap to shield his eyes.

“The price of the brownstone wasn’t what was pushing her over the edge. Though it definitely wasn’t helping her mood.” Steve offers instead and Sam raises a speculative eye,

“She wasn’t?”

“No,” Steve starts to move down the block, away from Sam who is quick to catch up just in time to catch the tail end of the response “She was telling her friend to back off from coming over to say hi to us.”

Sam stops walking mid stride, allowing his brain to process something before he sighs and catches up to Steve’s constant pace.

“You and your damn super soldier hearing. Is there anything that gets past you?” He waits a beat but Steve doesn’t answer.  Instead keeps his lips in the same tight line they had been all morning, barely erupting into a smile and only for the benefit of Sam. “Okay then Cap, then tell me this. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of her. The minute her and her friend walked in I saw the way you were immediately drawn to her.”

Sam notices the small flinch Steve makes, before the super soldier is snorting and shaking his head. Putting up walls. Guarding himself.  

“What are you talking about Sam?”

“You don’t think I didn’t see the way your eyes flickered over to her throughout that showing? I saw how much you kept glancing over to her. She piqued your curiosity and I don’t think it was just because of how cute she was. You should’ve followed her dude. Asked for her number.”

Steve gives Sam the same smile, sad and uninterested though his mind is drifting somewhere else.   Sure, he could’ve done that. That would have been the easiest thing to do but….it wasn’t in his nature to make the first move. Not when he didn’t know how the outcome would play. His hesitancy was more than his nerve – he also had the new burden of his celebrity. It was hard to connect with anyone, women or no, because the intentions of humans were always unclear and complicated.  

Even though he had been intrigued by you, even though he was curious to get to know you just a bit more, the outcome didn’t weigh out as worth the trouble. So you were a cute girl that he had missed out on connecting. It wasn’t the end of the world.

Many more would come and go throughout his cursed path in life. No point in lingering for this one.

“Steve! Are you listening man?” Sam nudges him again and Steve nods, shaking his head. Despite the fact that sometimes Sam would pry and push him in moments like this, Samuel Wilson had been one of the better things that had happened in Steve’s life in this decade.  While he had a handful of good friends, he could honestly say that Sam was one of his closest by and by. Kept him from going insane, from staying in his head and allowed him to open up.

But most importantly, Sam was one of the very few people that Steve had learned to trust in recent years. Which spoke a lot about the character of the former Army vet.

“Yea Sam I’m listening,” Steve looks over at him, this time humor finally dancing along with the smile he throws his way, “You want breakfast. Why do you think I’ve been steering us away from my bike and toward the direction of food?”

Sam furrows his eyebrows together, getting a bearing on his location before chuckling and nodding.

“Didn’t even realize….damn man,” Sam’s voice is amused as he places a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I should know better than to doubt you – Steve my hero.”

Sam’s voice is dripping with sarcasm and Steve rolls his eyes, laughing as he shrugs his hand off of him.

“You’re ridiculous. But this place has been around since even I was a kid and still makes a mean omelet. And would be the perfect place to hear about how you and Bucky are faring…”

Sam rolls his eyes, grunting as they near the doors of the familiar restaurant. It would be Steve’s strategy to woo him with greasy diner food to understand why Sam couldn’t get along with the other super soldier. Steve knows it, and knows that it would probably result in a quiet breakfast which he was greedy for. He’d only been up for four hours but he already was exhausted by the world, was already over the day to day motions. They walk in, allowing the familiar hearty food to great his nostrils as his eyes survey the place. It seemed like nothing had changed here, was one of the few places he felt he could let go of the breath he was always holding. He’s about to suggest a place to sit when he hears it. A low feminine voice that seems oddly familiar and he turns his head to be accosted, again, by you.

Your eyes look like moss caught in amber as the sun hits them through the glass pane, doe eyed and complemented by curly lashes that are unable to fall into its natural motion of blinking. Your mouth is agape before you turn, your hair that’s pulled back into a bun on top of your head following with you as you fall into the old cushioned seats and though he can’t see it, he hears the way you press your foot against your friends, the way she whimpers an “oww” before she’s kicking you back.

He smiles.

He was used to seeing people reacting like this, women especially. It was flattering really. Though usually women, by this time, were trying to garnish his attention even in the subtlest of ways. You were doing everything in your power to stay hidden, to push yourself away from him. It made him curious to understand why, and though he did want some time to himself he also wanted to combat the boredom that was encroaching in his mind, in his soul. This would at least me amusing, and it was enough to get him to tug on Sam’s jacket, nodding his head over in your direction and saying,

“Let’s head over there.”

He doesn’t wait to see if Sam follows, he know he will and can’t help but smile further as your friend’s eyes grow larger and you fall deeper into the seat.

This would be amusing indeed.

“Hey,” he says lowly when he rounds your seat, and you blink up at him as he continues, “You were at the Open House down the block, right? Told that agent she was out of her mind for the overpriced brownstone?”

You nod and he clears his throat.

“I’m Steve. This is Sam,” he nods over at Sam who is watching Steve with amused ease. “I thought it was pretty awesome what you did back there. You mind if we join you? I’d love to sit and chat with someone who is equally looking to rent on this island. See if they have any tips?”

You just blink up at him, he can hear your heart hammering in your chest before your friend kicks you again and you throw her a look before clearing your throat and nodding.

“Ye..ye….yes. yea. Yes. Sure. If…you want.”

He smiles as he slides into the booth seat beside you, his smile never leaving.

“Perfect.”

Breakfast starts off awkward. You spend a solid ten minutes not saying anything, just sitting there flickering your eyes between him, Sam and your roommate. At one point you laugh at something Sam says, but it’s not enough to pull anything out of you.

It’s a stark contrast to the energy you had an hour earlier and he wonders what about him makes you shut down completely.

You’re roommate on the other hand – Ellie – has flipped roles with you and has become unseeingly chatty. She had been quiet – timid when he had observed the two of you earlier. Now she was filling in the quiet, chatting earnestly with Sam and him as you observed her in silence, smiling occasionally as you sipped on coffee. He figured it was probably a result of the three coffee’s she had been downing, her eyes flickering between you and him as she explains that you both lived in Queens. Correction, that you both had grown up in Queens and had been best friends since you were six, living on the same block and going to the same schools though you had been the one to leave the city for a spell after graduating from NYU to live abroad. He learned that she was a makeup artist for a salon and occasionally socialists throwing parties throughout the city and that you were a sports journalist for ESPN. That though you loved the house that you both rented from her grandmother you were both itching to live closer to the island.

It's only when your food arrives that Sam and Ellie switch the conversation to themselves, giving him space to try to engage with you.

“You don’t rub me as the kind of girl who’s shy.”

He’s precise with the pepper he shakes over his eggs as your eyes widen, then narrow as you look over at him,

“What makes you think you know the kind of girl that I am?”

Your voice is cautious, protective, like he’s done something to offend you. Curious. It’s not jealousy, you seemed genuinely amused by Ellie’s urge to spill out your life story. But there is something else that has you holding back from him.

He proceeds cautiously as he forks into his eggs,

“I don’t know. You seemed pretty bold and outspoken back at the viewing. It’s an odd contrast to how you’re acting now.”

“I didn’t have enough coffee this morning and let’s be real – that real estate agent was pushing too hard with the wrong crowd of people.”

A fair statement but he doesn’t know how else to respond beyond, “that’s fair” before its followed by more silence. He shifts in his seat, his eyes flickering over to you another time as your eyes keep focused on the meal in front of you.  He’s never really striked out before with a girl, not since he became Steve 2.0 and the fact that you weren’t impressed by him both annoys and excites him at once. It rattles him. He also wasn’t used to this confident feeling that was running through his veins, the realization that his modern good looks was something he’s taken for granted, that somehow he’s garnered Bucky’s confident attitude.

It makes him uncomfortable and he shifts again, getting lost in his thoughts as you clear your throat and ask,

“What’s inspired you to look for a new place? That big shiny tower downtown not cutting it for you?”

It takes him a moment to realize that you are directing the question to him, that Sam and Ellie haven’t stopped their cadence in their conversation and that you’ve stopped eating to take the time to look over at him and listen.

He debates giving you a superficial answer, the same one he’s retold too many a real estate agent or stranger, but then he looks into your eyes, those soft orbs that take him off guard and he feels it would be un-dutiful to lie to someone like you.

The fact that you drive this thought through him makes him uneasy,

“I love my team – don’t get me wrong,” another shift in his movement, adjusting his body to look toward you, “buts it’s nice having my own space. And I’m not getting that right now. That and…Sam thinks it would be nice if I could create distance between my work and creating a personal life.”

He says the last part lowly, hoping you don’t catch it though the way your eyes soften at the edges as you return to your food says otherwise before you’re saying,

“You mean Captain America doesn’t want to spend endless hours stressing out? I couldn’t imagine wanting that kind of space…”

He chuckles, taking a hearty bite out of the scrambled eggs he’s scooped up, taking his time chewing, debating his next response before he replies,

“Yea. I like being a calculative ball of anxiety and stress on behalf of our country.”

It’s a lame excuse at humor, it comes off a bit flat and he internally face palms himself at the ridiculousness of the statement. Whether you care or not doesn’t matter, you still laugh underneath your breath as you scoop potatoes into your omelet and nod,

“Why would you be? A country like this?,” Your voice is laced with sarcasm as you look over at him “Where solid values dissipate with convenience and selfishness, morality seems to border on narcissism and the word freedom is an illusion so that rich, white men can keep everyone else in check,” you take a big scoop of eggs looking at him and chewing before saying with your mouth full, “With a world like that and manners like these why wouldn’t you want to save me or anyone else?”

It breaks him. It’s the first time he’s been around anyone who doesn’t try to keep up with his façade of perfection, of purposefully being rude for the sake of breaking proper etiquette. It relieves him – doesn’t realize that he’s needed someone to look beyond the idea of him and be as human with him as he tries to be to them and the relief  causes him to laugh. It’s loud and boisterous, filling up the space in the restaurant and causing a few patrons to look their way. You laugh along with him, having to peel away to take a sip of water and though Ellie and Sam pull away from their conversation to see what has caused the shift between the both of you, they don’t insert themselves into their conversations.

They giving knowing looks to the other, returning back to whatever it was they were speaking about as Steve puts his fork down, wiping his eyes.   

“Didn’t consider you a cynic.”

“I’m not a cynic,” you scoff, taking another sip of your water before continuing, “I’m just aware where I stand in this modern world and couldn’t imagine what it must feel like for you to operate in it. I’m not saying it was peachy keen your time – aside from war your society wasn’t ready to really address things like race and sex and other categories that differentiate one human from another. But I’m sure being here, a society where a lot of the generations haven’t been bridged by the fear of loss and thus able to operate in happy isolation, disconnected from others despite all the opportunities to find collectiveness has to be…I don’t know. Difficile?” he furrows his eyebrows together and you chuckle, “Challenging.”

He watches you for a moment. There’s a pit in his stomach that he normally swallows down, allows himself to wade in when he’s left alone in the privacy of his room and he’s stuck reflecting on this same topic alone. Perhaps it’s the precise way you call out what he has to deny himself on a constant basis, the truth that he must cover up with lies.

It shuts him down, causes him to get lost in his thoughts. You must feel it, the shift in the air and the tension that’s created and you hesitantly place your left hand over his free one, speaking lowly,

“I take what your team does as an example. Here in the streets of Manhattan we had aliens….fucking aliens, fall from the sky and attack us. To try to destroy humanity. And you and your team fought for that – fought for the rest of our rights to live. Right? That should garner some kind of award?”

You’re watching him carefully, giving his hand a squeeze and he gives a slight nod,

“But instead of thanks – of rewards, Tony Stark Industries and so by default The Avengers had nearly a two year long lawsuit because of the amount of physical damage that was done on the city. No one was blaming the goddamn alien beings that came down to hunt them down – oh no that would’ve been too simple. Instead they defaulted on you and your team and I get that to a degree….we can’t sue the aliens who are left over for collateral damage technically. But now you’re all under a microscope for trying to save our lives. The modern man sues The Avengers for destroying his store though the damage was the result of saving the man’s life. Against, one more time because I still wake up some days and can’t believe – A GODDAMN ALIEN SPECIES!? My world has allowed the message of fiscal values to run their lives so when people do try to fight for the good it gets jaded in the narrative. I think that has to be…well beyond annoying but more importantly must play an interesting burden on you.”

There’s silence that lingers between the both of you. You’re not looking at him with pity in your eyes, not giving him that fake pained look of understanding. There’s truth behind your irises, an empathy that causes him to swallow thickly, to cast his eyes away from your own and down to your hands that are together. You pull away, suddenly aware of the intimate motion and lean against the window, away from him as you clear your throat.

“If I overstepped my boundaries, feel free to tell me. God knows I have a tendency to say too much and I’m not trying to psychoanalyze y-“

“You’re not overstepping,” he cuts you off frowning. “It’s just the first time I’ve heard someone who’s not a part of my world articulate it to me. I’m just trying to process this.”

You nod, grabbing your coffee taking the sip as you watch him. Your patient as he tries to find his words, tries to find a way to deflect the things that make him feel stripped, naked.

“So you’re saying the man who’s had his whole livelihood ruined because I’ve thrown an eight foot alien through his kitchen shouldn’t be mad?” he picks up his orange juice, taking a sip. Curious to understand your intention.  

“No,” you respond, crossing your legs in front of you as you sit up a bit. You’re wearing black leggings and a low dip t-shirt underneath your jean jacket and he tries to not allow his eyes to focus on the way your cleavage ripples from your breath. You really were a beautiful woman.

“He should be upset, that’s not illogical,” You look up, your eyes shifting back and forth as you try to debate your next words, “But there is, to a degree, some need to have appreciation – to tap into your humanity. The alien was going to come in and damage the man’s shit whether he likes it or not. You went the extra step of not only saving his life, but allowing him a future to rebuild his store. It’s not to say that you aren’t just in the heavy way you lay the hands of justice because you and your crew are savage…” you watch him carefully before continuing. “But that is the material. Not to be undermined of his livelihood and also the knowledge that your group so willingly contributed to reconstruction. The thing is, we use you when it’s convenient for us and scold you very similarly. You all have become the gods of Olympus and that power almost naturally creates fear for those who don’t understand that not all use it for evil. That’s all.”

“So it's fine because we are willing to fix things up? Everything doesn’t fall into place like that.”

“I know that.” You take a sip out of the porcelain container, frowning.

“Its fair that people get upset with us. Sometimes the damage we cause is far greater than what it would have been. Anger is a natural response.”

“I know that too,” you counter, leaning into him. “I never said that people’s anger isn’t displaced, it should live there. But on the long term, people shouldn’t harbor resentment towards you and you shouldn’t harbor the weight of guilt for trying to do what’s best for them.”

You’re giving him those eyes again, the soft kind that makes him want to be encircled in your arms, wrapped in your presence. He didn’t like how quick you are, witty, so he buffers it away by giving a wry smile,  

“This is as personal to you as it is to me. Seems to me that this is stemming from something deeper.”  

You take a deep breath, a smile emerging on your face as you return to your plate, taking a bite.

“Someone you know?”

“Yea,” Ellie mutters underneath her breath, inserting herself into the conversation for the first time since they’ve started to eat. “Her father.”

“Ellie!” you counter back and she shrugs,

“What!? He deserves to know how much you defend him and where this is coming from.”

You sigh, shifting out of your comfortable stance and returning to your meal. He can see the walls go up, can feel the way you stiffen. He wonders if this is what it’s like for Sam when Steve’s pushed and not ready for it.

He respected that. It made him want to get to know you more. It showed that you valued your vulnerability, was mindful with where you placed your trust.

Wasn’t going to budge it for him despite knowing who he was.

He hadn’t experienced anything like that with a woman since...

“Anyways,” you say, cutting his thoughts and pushing your plate away from you after a few minutes and looking over at Ellie, “I have a really big piece to finish editing as the deadline is tonight and I’ve not even glanced at it since I looked at it yesterday. And Ellie has…..a thing.”

Ellie scrunches her face as you grab your purse.

“I don’t have a – “

You raise your hand as you turn toward Steve, giving him a rueful smile,

“I hate to eat and run just a lot to do. But this was really nice. Not everyday you get to have breakfast with Captain America and the Falcon….”

You were good. Understood the art of slithering away from things that challenged you and made you uncomfortable. He knew this pattern, lived it every day since he awakened from ice. He choose to fight – seemed your art was flight.

It disappoints him, though, that he’s the trigger that causes you to default to this. He wanted to get to know you, to understand you.  He likes how upfront you are, how careful you are with your words, the depth you bring.

But he also understood being forced into something without any voice and he didn’t want to be like that for you.

So he does the next best thing,

“We enjoyed it too. It was nice getting to know you. Let me grab breakfast – the least I can do for interrupting your morning.”

You stop your movements for just a second, before your shaking your head incessantly.

“You don’t have to…”

He smiles, moving out of the booth as he looks down at you,

“Please. It would be an honor.”

Your lips twitch up earnestly, two dimples digging into each of your cheeks before you chuckle and nod your head,

“Ok.”

He wants to ask for more, your number, a chance to meet up for coffee. Except when you stand up beside him, chest for chest as you look up at him, he knows he shouldn’t. You had been courteous to let him bully his way into your morning breakfast and he should respect that now you needed your freedom.

“Good luck on your article.” He offers instead and you smile, nodding.  

“Good luck with….saving the world.”

You both stare at each other. He wants to leave but there’s something pulling him to you, urges him to want to brush the hair from your eyes and press his lips against your own. He doesn’t like it. He’d only known you in an hour and already he felt all logic thrown out the window. You threatened vulnerability.

He couldn’t afford it.

And you deserved better.   

“Nice meeting you Sam. It was great hearing all of your stories.”

Ellie’s voice breaks you both and you shift your bag over your shoulder, leaning away from him as you smile over at Sam.

“Great to meet you Sam. You both have a great one….and thanks again for breakfast!”

You all but pull Ellie away from the both of them as she waves candidly, smiling and giving a confused look from yourself back to Steve.

“Smooth Steve, real smooth.”

Sam's voice breaks Steve’s attention away from your disappearing form and Steve turns to him, hands stuffed back in his pocket.

“What?”

“Didn’t ask for her number?” Sam raises an unexpected eye and Steve shrugs, sitting back down in his seat.

“Didn’t think she wanted me to ask.”

Sam snorts, shaking his head.

“Steve, considering how brilliant you are – you know jack shit when it comes to women.”

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                                                  APRIL                      2019

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***** The Rolling Stones have cancelled their North American tour. Mick Jagger apologized for cancelling due to undisclosed medical treatments.  Oh Baby, Get Well Soon!!!!

***** Mick and his squeeze, Melanie Hamrick have put together a ballet set to Stones music called Porte Rouge. After premiering in Russia it will come to NY on April 18 for an opening night charity event to benefit Youth America Grand Prix.  Tickets start at $600.

***** Tina Fey and Carol Burnett  are working on a movie about Carol’s book, Carrie and me: A Mother –Daughter love story.

***** When I hear Bernie Sanders going on, I can’t help but think of Jimmy Carter. He was pushing many of these messages in the seventies. He tried to get us to have more respect for the land and to save energy and the greedy wrote him off as boring and the era of greed took over. Will we listen this time?

***** The Mueller report was finally turned over to Attorney General William Barr. This has started a whole new set of problems. Barr gives us a summary that is like springtime for Trump. He jumps right in to those that done him wrong and FISA warrants. Should congress get a look at the full report? Everyone is talking over each other and don’t seem to hear what the other is saying. Everybody piles on Adam Schiff because they think he isn’t accepting the report like a good Dem should. If they would listen, he makes it very clear that he respects the findings but they need to see the report. How dare they ask HIM to resign as Intel committee chair. It was heartwarming to see his backbone. They must quit backing down. We still don’t have the whole story but he still free to say that he thinks the actions we already know of were wrong. What the hell is wrong with that? Barr is supposed to release the heavily redacted report in mid- April. No collusion? Perhaps, Scary Clown 45 would probably not get his hands dirty. Obstruction? We’ll see. ** Tyler Mcgaughey, William Barrs son in law will now advise Trump and the White House staff. ** I am really sick of listening to the old white man POV.

***** Dow chemical has donated a mil to Trump’s campaign. Strange that Trump has blocked a report  that took years of research and shows proof of Dow toxic pesticides which jeopardizes over 1,200 endangered species.

***** US from Jordan Peele opened to 70.3 mil. Just like his last movie, critics tell us to watch it twice. How great for the bottom line.

***** John McCarty, a dead man is running for village President in Spring Bay, Il.

***** Look out for the new film, The Kid, directed by Vincent D’onofrio. The western stars Ethan Hawke, Chris Pratt, Hawk , D’onofrio , MorningStar Angeline and Leila George.

***** Did you ever see the reunion movie ‘Return to Green Acres? ‘  They tried to warn us of who Trump was a long time ago. How strange that it came full circle with that ridic Emmy Green Acres thing he did.

***** Shaq has become a deputy sheriff and has also been added to the board of directors of Papa John’s where he is an investor.

***** In sexual harassment news, Lucy Flores, a former Nevada assemblywoman has accused Joe Biden of unwanted touching and kissing at a 2014 campaign event.

***** Mark Hamill will voice the Chucky doll in the new Child’s Play.

***** Law and Order will get its 21st season.

***** The daytime Emmy noms have been announced and Days got the most this year. WOO HOO! The soap was nominated for drama, writing, costume, music, casting, art direction and oh, just everything. In the acting category the lead noms are Marci Miller, Tyler Christopher and Billy Flynn.  Kate Mansi was noticed for a guest spot as Abigail so 2 actresses are up for Emmys in the same role. Other guest noms went to Thaao Penghlis and Philip Anthony Rodriguez. Kassie Depaiva, Linsey Godfrey (really?), Martha Madison, Greg Rikaart and Eric Martsolf were all nominated.  Younger actor nods went to Olivia Rose Keegan, Lucas Adams, Victoria Konefal and Kyler Pettis.  C’mon , why nothing for Lauren Koslow, Greg Vaughan, Casey Moss, Susan Seaforth Hayes and Robert Scott Wilson?? I think I would switch a few of these around but it is still great to see Days so blessed.  I was also happy to see Max Gail from GH get noticed. CBS led the networks in noms. Hooray for Wayne Brady for game show host and Mark Hamill, Ruth Negga and Steve Buscemi in animated programs. Watch for the Daytime Emmys on May 5 which will not be on television again.

***** General Robert Neller has told the Pentagon that funds diverted to the wall are keeping Marines from rebuilding hurricane hit bases.

***** Devin Nunes is suing Twitter for the parody accounts, Devin Nunes Mom and Dvin Nunes cow which is pretty funny.

***** The EU is banning straw, cotton swabs and plastic cutlery by 2021.

***** Jenny McCarthy has a book out that slams The View.

***** Roseanne is thinking about suing ABC and has said some rather nasty stuff about Sara Gilbert.

***** Michael Avenatti was arrested for trying to extort $20 mil from Nike in NY. He claims he was just doing some lawyering.  California has him on bank fraud charges.  Why is there so much shadiness in this world? Let’s start rewarding the people doing good in this world and quit talking these headlines everyday.

***** Why did this Jussie Smollett thing go away?

***** Wal Mart is walking back this getting rid of the elderly and handicapped greeter thing.

***** Tracy Morgan and Will Forte are to star in the new animated Scooby Doo movie.

***** Johnny Depp has sued ex Amber Heard over the abuse allegations.

***** Martha Stewart is diving into the Marijuana product industry.

***** New York charges Manafort with 16 crimes. Perhaps he won’t get off as lightly with the state crimes.

***** Season 9 of American Horror Story has no premiere date yet. Emma Roberts is confirmed to return. It looks like it will also include Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters and silver medalist Gus Kenworthy.

***** New California Gov. Gavin Newsom has halted executions for now.

***** Dems will hold their convention in Milwaukee. And if I hear again that Hillary didn’t go to these sorts of places, I am gonna puke. She went! She went! Just not so much at the end.

***** Howard Stern will release his first book in 20 years this May.

***** Ok, so glad to see Whoopie Goldberg is starting to get back to work but it is just so unbelievable in this day and age and access to info that she seemed shocked that the insurance companies decide people’s fate. Of course, that is if you are lucky enough to have insurance.

***** Sandy Hook families can take lawsuits against the gun companies to court now.** Three suicides have recently come from survivors and a parent of Parkland and Sandy Hook. The pain goes on.

***** The Senate voted 59-41 to terminate the emergency declaration. VETO

***** Rick Singer, founder if a college prep business had pled guilty to money laundering, obstruction of justice and racketeering. The nationwide college entrance exam scandal involves about 50 people including Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin that dates back to 2011. People paid millions to use ringers to take or fix their children’s exams and sometimes faked photos with coaches to include them in sports they were never involved in. The U.S. attorney does not believe the schools themselves were involved. **Lawsuits have already begun from those claiming they could not get into a good college because those spots were taken by these alleged cheaters.

***** Jennifer Hudson will play Aretha Franklin in the biopic.

***** Experts say a recession is on the horizon.

***** Two Sacramento police officers will face no charges for their overkill of the unarmed Stephon Clark. Oh Big surprise!!

***** White supremacist groups on line are growing faster than ISIS. ** I never get it, if white supremacists are so supreme, so wonderful, wouldn’t they rise to the top naturally? Why do they need to rid the world of others or keep minorities down?? If they think others are so inferior, those they hate or fear should not be a problem .

***** Jeanine Pirro was pulled off Fox news after a racist rant about Muslims. ** And where is Rudy? The lawyer hasn’t been seen on the air since January. ** Is this true? Did Ivanka and Jared really try to resign? Did Scary Clown 45 try to push them into it and then not accept those resignations?

***** This can’t be true. Only 5 states have laws requiring patient consent for medical students to do vaginal exams on women under sedation.

***** I rarely think about Jay Leno but he was right about the late night comics all doing different versions of the same joke.  But, who is he to talk? I mean how many different things did you do on OJ and Clinton?? At least these guys are funny.

***** The talk that people stay in their bubble becomes crystal clear when you see the poll asking if the President is truthful: Fox viewers : 84%, MSNBC viewers : 21% and CNN viewers: 1%. Whoa!

***** Word is that Scary Clown ordered economic advisor Gary Cohn to pressure the Justice Department to file a lawsuit to block the Att-Time Warner merger to retaliate against CNN.

***** At least 250 power plants across the country are leaking toxic chemicals into nearby water.

***** Jay Inslee is running for president! I think Stacey Abrams and Jay Inslee would be a nice ticket>

***** Beta O’Rourke is running for President! The psychedelic warlord!

***** Kristen Gillibrand is running for President!

***** Conor McGregor was arrested and charged with felony strong armed robbery and criminal mischief in Miami.

***** The process is in the works to get Trumps tax returns.** The house Judiciary committee has requested 81 documents.** This can’t be true. Trump was signing Bibles for volunteers and survivors in Alabama??

***** Just when it can’t get any weirder: Li Yang and her hubby, Zubin Gong run a string of massage parlors with questionable reputations. Until recently they ran the one that Robert Kraft was busted in. They also had a web site that seemed to sell access to their buddy, Donald Trump with Chinese business contacts. As soon as the story broke, the sites for an international consulting firm, text only in Chinese and no prices for the meets came down. Li Yang and her associates are in pictures at the inauguration, the White House, Mar A Lago and Trump’s super bowl party with the Pres, his sons and other Trump family members. We should have seen this coming. The old adage that always holds true with this administration seems true here. They always blame others for what they are really guilty of, this explains the Pizzagate garbage. This could be bigger than we ever dreamed. Even stories that we may have thought a bit out there need to be looked at closer. Can we connect the sex trafficking, the White House, the money? It is time to quit fucking around with the sellers and customers of those exploited in the sex trade. I don’t get it, all these men from Trump to R Kelly have the power over the women they supposedly use and abuse and yet they are always so angry. Perhaps they wouldn’t be losing their power if you treated others with respect and dignity. They always want all the power for themselves. And c’mon media, stop talking your heads off about the Omar story and give this Li Yang story a closer look.

***** The story of the fall of Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes is a sad one. It does show that greed and massive fraud are not just for the men of this world. When I first heard of her plans for the blood testing, I was so impressed with what she was accomplishing at her age. Yes, she was another poor little rich girl whose family fortune was quite diminished by the time it got to her. Even without the Fleischman yeast money, she did seem to have advantages. I can see how some of us were fooled but what about the big investors, the stalwart statesmen?  Do they not remember that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is? How can all the hype, the press, the marketing snowball before there is any proof that something is what is actually supposed to be?? I always assumed that by the time I am hearing about it, things are about ready to go. Seeing all these stories like Trump and Deutsche bank, light sentences for Manafort and now Holmes and her partner in crime seeming to get off lightly, there is not much hope for the little guy. WHY can’t we hold those involved in big money crimes really responsible??

***** It’s true, rich people cause socialism – Neal Brennan.

***** Even in 1692 the rich were different. –Stacy Schiff- The Witches.

***** FEMA released the personal data of 2.3 million victims.

***** They have dug up old words from Fox’s Tucker Carlson. Big surprise that he seemed to empathize with Warren Jeffs, thought women should just shut up and called a woman “cunty.”  The women who lap up the words of these men must not think much of themselves.

***** Why are we letting the banks finance detention centers and prisoners? It’s more than immigration or punishing criminals. Why is this big business?? I can’t believe this is still going on. Wake up!!! When will the children be free?  C’mon House and Senate, Pass the Shut Down child prison camps bill.

***** Somebody has to pay for this President’s folly: The scary clown new budget cuts:$ 1.5 trillion from Medicaid/ $845 billion from Medicare/ &25 billion from Social Security.

***** About 1 rural hospital a month is shutting down due to lack of support and lack of funds.

***** Globalization seems to be spreading a pathogen killing the olive trees in Italy.

***** A fake Melania?? WTF? UGH!

***** Matthew Whitaker is out! Bill Shine is out!

***** When will we ever be able to buy the boxed set of Late Night with Dave?? Hurry so the next generation can see the genius they may have missed.

***** Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale??

***** Hey Bill Maher, way to go with your PETA message about the terrible treatment of the geese used to make Canada Goose down jackets.  I will stay away!!

***** J Lo and A Rod are engaged.

***** Bette Midler and Judith Light will join the cast of The Politician.

***** Jussie Smollett has been indicted on 16 felony counts.

***** HBO’s Crashing was cancelled. Pete Holmes was great in this but I never really saw much promotion for it. I hate it when good stuff falls thru the cracks.

***** Kathy Griffin has a new film about the ridiculous Trump head, nearly career ending, Government harassment crap in her life. Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a story. Make that lemonade!! A girl has to take care of herself. It premiered at SXSW.** Speaking of SXSW, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez drew great crowds while she was there.

***** R Kelly lives in Trump tower in Chicago. Well, of course he does.  Why is it ok for the rest of us to put up with these arrogant, abusive males in this society? Everyone is giving kudos to Gayle King for her calm demeanor in her interview. Yes, how professional of her but why should she be subject to that disrespect??  She is in her workplace. Would R Kelly have liked his Mother or daughter to be treated that way?

***** So, word is that Isaiah 45 is a Trump thing with the evangelicals. This scripture refers to Cyrus , the anointed one. OY!

***** Days alert: Robin Strasser is coming OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** Judith Chapman and her old style soap acting just too much. ** C’mon Chloe and Rex!!** More Nurse Shelly!! ** Is Johnny Dimera on his way to town? ** I was so glad to see Tony, one of the best characters ever anywhere, even if it was part of an out of body experience.

***** Why do we have to keep talking about George and Kelly Ann Conway?? Are they just covering their bases? With one on each side of the Trump argument, they win no matter what happens right?

***** So now we know that about 400 Catholic clergy have been accused of sexual  misconduct in Illinois. It never ends.

***** End the electoral college!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***** S

***** Fox has hired Donna Brazile. People seem to finally be taking Bill Maher’s advice and telling their point of view to the other side. How else will sanity prevail if we don’t find common ground? We cannot look to this administration for guidance in this world, we have to figure these things out for ourselves, which we should be able to do anyway.

***** Suicide is the second leading cause of death for 15-24 year olds.  We have to find our self- worth.  

R.I.P. Andy Anderson, Katherine Helmond, Nathaniel Taylor, Luke Perry, Alabama tornado victims, Jan Michael Vincent,  the Ethiopian airlines disaster victims, Hal Blaine, victims of the New Zealand Mosque shootings, Sydney Aiello, the Ogossogou village attack victims, Denise DuBarry, Larry Cohen, Jeremy Richman, Ray Sawyer, Tania Mallet and Nipsey Hussle.