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cherryfairytwist · 10 months ago

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RickFic Ch8. AstriOid Belt

(Tags: minors dni/ substance use/ stalkerish behavior)

—- HELLO —-

—- INITIATING DOWNLOAD SEQUENCE MEMORY CLUSTER #8 —-

—-PULLING UP EARLIEST ASSISTED MEMORY RECORDS —-

—- NARRATION SIMULATING NOW —-

The gang had just gotten back from an adventure, now chilling outside of the garage on the drive way next to Rick’s ship. Both Rick and Astrid stood leaning against the ship sipping on beers while Morty and Summer sat on the driveway munching on some hors d’oeuvres they had stolen from an alien party they had all crashed while adventuring.

“Did you see the look on those bouncer’s faces when we crashed through their ship’s hull?” Summer laughed while continuing to stuff her face.

“H-honestly I thought m-more people partying on deck would have noticed something was going on.. but I guess they w-were too drunk..?” Morty also chuckled thinking back on it.

“T-That was some smart thinking back there Astrid. K-knocking out some those unsuspecting guests and changing into their outfits. Priceless! We got to party for free all nightttt!” Rick emphasized in amusement.

“Well I mean.. you said we had to try and keep those bounty hunters off our tail for a while..we had already crashed so why not have some fun waiting it out?” She snickered and took another swig.

Earth Beth poked her head out of the garage door and asked, “oh there you guys are, dinner will be ready soon do you kids want to eat? Dad….?” She looked at all of them before her eyes landed on Astrid. “Oh um.. hi! You’re their teacher’s….assistant? From school..?” She asked trying to remember Astrid’s face from in passing.

“Hello Mrs. Smith. Yes I’m Morty and Summer’s teacher’s assistant… we’ve met before I’m pretty sure.” Astrid said politely but awkwardly.

“I remember! I didn’t mean to make that come off weird sorry… I just didn’t want to mistake you for….” She glanced over at Rick implying she didn’t want to assume Astrid was one of Rick’s one night stands, “… anyways.. would you like to join us for dinner?” She said with an awkward smile.

“I would love to…” she glanced at the kids and then quickly at Rick, “but it’s getting a little late. I might need to head home to start grading papers sadly.” She used an excuse feeling as if she might be over stepping her bounds.

“Oh we understand! I hope the kids are paying attention in class for you.” Beth commented.

“Oh Mrs. Smith you have wonderful kids. They are both extremely smart and hard working.” Astrid said positively.

Rick started to scoff before Astrid shot him a glare.

“Oh that’s such a relief to hear! I worry they aren’t doing so well in school.” Beth peaked over to see what commotion Rick had made.

“See mom! We’re doing just fine. We take after you and grandpa!” Summer shouted over to her mother.

“You’re right honey… could you come help with dinner? Oh you too Morty.” Beth asked.

“We’ll say goodbye to Astrid real quick just in case she doesn’t come have dinner. Be inside in a second!” Summer replied before her mother turned to head back inside.

“Thanks for covering for us like that Astrid.” Summer said with a smile.

“I didn’t cover for anything. You and Morty are smart hard working kids. Just because you’re not making straight A’s doesn’t mean you two aren’t smart.” Astrid replied honestly.

Summer looked down at the ground with a shy smile.

“T-thanks Astrid.. you’re a great teacher..” Morty said awkwardly before standing up.

“Thanks for coming on adventures with us, it’s always really fun having you around. We hope you have a good night if we don’t see ya in there.” Summer said playfully but with a hint of sentiment while turning to head inside.

“Y-yeah.. you’re awesome Astrid..! See you at school.” Morty choked out before quickly running after Summer inside.

Astrid stood there for a few seconds just smiling and looking at the garage door. It made her really happy to know the kids liked having her around.. she also really enjoyed seeing them do so well. She then chugged the rest of her beer and looked up at the dark night sky. The thought that she was still standing alone next to Rick slapped her back to reality as she tried to sneak a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. Still leaning up against the ship next to her she could feel the weight shift as he also chugged the rest of his beer. He turned his head to look down at her and then tossed his empty beer can into the garage.

“A-Alright.” He pushed off of the ship and grabbed Astrid by the arm.

His grip was stern but held no malice in it as he guided her around him towards the passenger seat of the space ship. Astrid looked up at him with a calm yet confused look. He ignored her face while opening the ship door, he then lightly pushed her into the seat and shut the door behind her. He then turned to go grab a pack of beers and a liquor bottle from the garage. He returned and got into the drivers seat, setting the drinks down on the floor next to her feet. Astrid felt her nerves jolt a smidge so she rummaged around in her pocket for her communicator to start playing the next song in her cue. She pulled out one of her earbuds from her pocket and put it in the ear facing the ship window.

“So are you giving me a ride home or….?” She asked trying to cut the agonizing silence.

“Y-yeah I guess you could say that. But first I want us to have a little chat.” He said emotionlessly while starting up the ship and pulling it up into the sky.

Astrid felt the awkward silence hang in the air between them. She sat quietly and looked out the passenger window. The Sun and Earth started to look like marbles the farther they flew out into the solar system. She felt the temperature drop in the cabin around them, small wisps from her breath hung in the air after every silent exhale. Did she ever notice how cold it felt when they were flying in the ship before? Or was it that she had gotten used to the body heat of all four of them being in the ship at the same time? It felt like there was so much empty space between her and Sanchez. Why did it still feel like he was much too close for comfort still? Calming herself she pressed the play button, “Space Junk” by Wang Chung started to play in her ear.

“W-what you listening to…?” He asked pointing at the device in her hand. “You should play some of t-that out loud so it isn’t so awkward in here.” He stated while handing her his equivalent of an all adapting aux cord.

Astrid compiled and plugged it in. As the music began to play out loud she pulled her ear bud back out and put it in her pocket. She gave a curious glance at Rick, looking for any signs to pick up on, but nothing of note showed. As he started to slow the ship he motioned for her to grab him one of the beers on the floor. She pulled it out of the plastic and cracked it open for him, handing it off. He took it and started to steadily sip from it, still keeping his eyes in front of him.

“You can have some more too obviously… you got any more of that weed?” He asked.

“Uh yeah…” Astrid pulled out her bowl and grinder from her pocket.

“Nice.” He said plainly.

The silence and random songs seemed to continue for what was about only 15 minutes, but it had felt like forever. Astrid had already downed her first two beers and taken a few hits from her bowl. Rick had tossed back three beers already as well as having taken some hits from her bowl. Finally Rick eased up the ship to a stop. The ship now silently floated adrift right outside of what looked like an asteroid belt. They sat there for a few moments silently sipping.

“So is this the part where you take the dog out back to the shed and shoot it…? And to save the kid’s feelings you tell them it ran away.” She joked cutting through the silence.

Rick looked at her surprised and then laughed saying, “HA! No.” He smiled and then gave her a side eye, “Jesus y-you still came with me thinking that m-might have been a possibility…?” He let out a chuckle.

Astrid didn’t reply and side eyed him curiously waiting for him to keep up the conversation. Which he did,

“I also figured this would be a perfect opportunity for y-you to shoot me in the back of the head if you had planned on trying to kill me.” He said less amused but with a smug face eyeing her. “We are alone.” He stated.

“Oh and you still brought me out here thinking that could be a possibility?” Astrid copied him in a mocking tone.

They both rolled their eyes at each other and looked out their corresponding side windows. The silence hung back over them as the music continued to play. Until Rick broke the silence once more,

“I didn’t know you could move like that… I knew you were fast but I-I had no idea you knew how to dance.” he mentioned referring to their adventure earlier that day where they had crashed the party.

He thought back on earlier that night, impressed having seen her ballroom dance and perfectly execute other types of alien dances unfamiliar to Earth. She had moved in such a way it was simply captivating to watch.

“You just assumed I couldn’t dance…?” She chuckled looking back at him scrunching her eyebrows playfully.

“You’re not Human. There isn’t any way you are!” He suddenly blurted out slightly raising his voice in frustration.

“Is that a question or are you making a statement?” She replied annoyed back.

“Come on!” He demands letting go of the anger but a hint of frustration remained.

“I guess you could say im not exactly from around these parts.” She tried joking in a perfect southern accent.

He laughed and relaxed a little while rolling his eyes again, leaning off to his window side.

“Hold on Rick. I know it’s not like you’re going to share things about yourself with me.” She laughed.

“That’s fucking different.” He insists. “You’ve probably already heard plenty of things about me.” A slight sting came in his voice.

Astrid let out a sigh, “Fine… let’s play a game. We’ll call it Pinocchio because it’s like a truth and lies thing. I will answer questions if I feel like it. I’ll only show one “tell” if it’s a lie… you’ll see what I mean once we start playing.” She stated.

He arched his eyebrows and grinned curiously still leaning on his window, “Alright, I’ll bite. Let’s play.” He said shifting to lean on his knee while pointed in her direction nonchalantly.

“How long have y-you been living on Earth..?” He cut straight to it.

“Over all or recently?” She asked to clarify.

“Both.” He stated.

“Well.. I’ve probably lived on Earth for a handful years.. I left but I’ve only been back for about a year now.” She shifted in her seat slightly uncomfortable but finally feeling relaxed knowing she was getting it off her chest.

“Why are you here now?” He asked still intently eyeing her.

She replies, “sight seeing” and suddenly her nose popped out elongated a slight bit, much like the Pinocchio cartoon.

Rick let out an amused laugh realizing she had lied. While eyeing her nose curiously, he quickly chugged another beer in entertainment.

“W-why were you on Earth in the past?” He asked more exited.

“For work.” She answered shortly knowing she still had to tread lightly.

“Are you on Earth for work now..? A-And I don’t mean that “teacher” bullshit.” He said trying to skate her around using that excuse.

“Not really….it’s complicated. But I’m “stuck” here for now.” She paused feeling a sadness creep up on her.

“You’re stuck..? Like crash landed?” He asked confused.

“No.. I’m just supposed to be here for a while.” She huffed, “ I’m supposed to be on “vacation” but that’s not what it feels like.” Noticing she said a bit too much she snapped back into it.

Shifting gears she sassily stated, “You’re running out of time!”

Internally her heart was racing, why did she want to tell him so badly? This had never been a problem for her before with keeping secrets.

“Jeez I didn’t know we were on a timer!” He joked and motioned for her to pass him the bowl.

He sparked up and took a few more hits and then handed it back to her. She too hit it some and then sat it down on the dash. She looked down at the floor to see they had both drank through all the beers so she grabbed the liquor bottle of jack that Rick had brought. Astrid opened it and took a few swigs and handed it over to Rick. He took it and then looked back at her face,

“Are you human?” He asked once again wanting to hear her say it, searching her eyes for a sign.

“Yes.” She lied with a smug grin lowering her gaze as her nose grew again humorously.

“So what do you do? What are you?” He asked back to back trying not to chuckle.

“You’re waisting your time.” She said sharply not looking up from packing the next bowl.

Rick huffed and moved on, “Okay then. So you have heard of me?” He asked, not being able to help himself.

“Yes Rick. I heard of you before I met the kids. But I didn’t think much of it, until we officially met.” She rolled her eyes and smiled knowing he was looking for an ego boost.

This relieved her knowing this one fold of his would help later if things got risky.

“So what’s the verdict?” He asked cockily.

“That you’re a crazy old man causing trouble.” She twirled her hair, “Definitely never a dull moment around you.” She replied with attitude.

He laughs at her mockingly slow and leans back in his seat seeming to drop all signs of humor, “I’ll go a head and get right to what I wanted to chat about.”

He pauses and glares right into Astrid’s eyes, “Have you been planning to hurt the kids?”

Astrid felt as if daggers had been sent through her chest, “I’m never going to hurt your kids Rick. As for you though, that depends on how well we get along.” She quickly joked at the end in an attempt to lighten the mood but still be honest.

“Oh yeah?! You think you can hurt me Hu…?” Rick joked already riled up a bit but calming down feeling as if she was being truthful to his questions.

“Yeah of course. How many good years do you have left on you anyway?!” She said flirting not being able to help herself, hoping to further distance Rick from his suspicions.

“Oh don’t you worry about that. I can stay young forever. You just haven’t seen me use my reverse age inventions.” He said crossing his arms behind his head and setting his feet up on the dash pleased with himself.

“Wait so you choose to stay looking at this age…?” She suddenly asked seriously, she couldn’t help but feel like she felt the same way but for her own human passing form.

“Uh yeah…? What about it?” He arched his eyebrow at her confused by the change in emotion.

“Do you do it because it just feels familiar or do you like how it looks…?” She asked almost searching for her own reason as to why she liked her default human form.

“I-I don’t know.. I guess because it feels familiar..? I guess because I don’t like how it looks.. because it’s a reminder.. it seems natural looking to the family..?” He said searching for an explanation himself.

He then quickly snapped out of it and wanted to know why she would ask that, “W-why do you ask? Are you age shaming me right now..?” He said pretending to be offended to cover up his actual feeling of embarrassment.

“I don’t know! Ha! Sorry I’m just a curious person…? I mean you said you made something that can reverse your age!! So you just don’t use it that much? I mean seemed like a pretty basic question.” She laughed as well trying to cover her discomfort for the shift in the atmosphere.

Rick starts chugging some of the liquor and then slams his fist down on the dash, “f-fuck it! You wanna blow up some asteroids…?!” He said now trying to help lighten the mood.

They sat in the ship taking turns targeting the hurdling rocks. As they both got more intoxicated they started to amp up their shared appreciation for destruction. Astrid thought about how pretty the moment was watching the ship light up after each explosion went off. After what felt like hazy minutes of belligerent arcade like fun, Rick checked his watch and seemed to sober up a little.

“Damn I-it’s late. I totally lost track o-of time. Sorry about that, w-we’ll head back.” He said trying to make up for taking up her evening time after she said she needed to get home.

“Ha, it’s fine. I’m glad we got t-that sorted out.” She said with a goofy buzzed smile.

“You sure you’re not trying to kill me? Now’s your chance.” He pauses and then said, “We are alone.” In a slightly more suggestive tone.

“I told you already Sanchez…” Astrid looked away pretending to be annoyed but catched her own eye in the window reflection feeling her face flush.

They headed back mostly riding in silence enjoying music or commenting on random things they saw while flying. They got closer and closer until they slowed down right in front of her apartment. Rick slowly started to lower the ship but then Astrid, in her oblivious state, popped the ship door open. She hopped out and turned to say goodbye with a smile. Rick awkwardly smiles back embarrassed she didn’t wait so he could have gotten the door for her.

“Uh.. night Astrid.. h-have a good evening.” He said not quite knowing what to say.

“Night Sanchez!” She said with a grin, patted the side of the ship and then turned to head towards her door.

“Also I-I told you already! D-Don’t call me Sanchez!” he playfully joked in hopes to get her to call him that again.

“Whatever Sanchez.” She said back jokingly, just like he had hoped.

Once Rick was sure Astrid had made it inside, he pulled the ship up at rapid speed. He hurdled the ship past the block between her apartment and the Smith house. The radio now playing some random alien channel after Astrid had taken her communicator off the aux when leaving. He allowed himself to smile only for a moment before landing the ship and sprinting out of the door and into the garage. He punched in his secret code to the hatch door in the floor and jumped down into the upper part of his basement lab. He went to his elevator and punched the floor number for his super computer room. Once there he ran to it quickly punching in all kinds of commands and running all types of searches. His mood went from pleasant to maddening as he tried to piece together any information he could find on Astrid. Cursing and mumbling to himself as he kept playing back loops of footage he had gotten of her fighting when they had gone to rob the bank. Over and over the loop of her snatching out the fire alien’s eyes played in one corner. In another was the footage of her kicking the bug cyborg into the bank counter with incredible force. In the last corner he played the footage of her dancing that night from the party they had crashed. He watched all of them intensely while waiting for other searches to come back.

“Of course she’s not fucking human, I mean look at this shit… but who are you..?” He muttered to himself rubbing his face in frustration.

He mulled it over for a second and muttered, “are you a shape shifter..? Someone with Elasticity powers…? But then how are you so fucking fast and strong too…?”

A few hours had gone by at this point and he had almost entirely sobered up by now. In his frustration he had thrown randoms items around the room while still searching for an answer. He had all the data from the hunting adventure they had gone on up on screen. He had all her school file information up, and even random footage and notes of her from previous times she had visited the Smith house. No DNA matches, no other records of her on earth previously to her starting work as a teacher’s assistant.

“Who the hell are you Ms. Du Pont ?” Rick read her supposed last name from the school’s file.

He sat back in his chair and pulled out his flask,

“Let’s just go ahead and find out.” He said confidently while activating the tracker he had planted on her arm when taking her to the ship earlier.

“It’s the size of a flea so I doubt you’ll notice for quite a while.” He grinned watching her location pop up on his computer’s map.

Rick sat looking at the tracker dot still at her apartment’s location. He took a swig from his flask and spun around in his chair lazily. After a moment of double checking, nothing else in his search had popped up. He sighed and then headed upstairs to his room for once. He turned the lights off and flopped down onto his cot. For the first time in a long while he felt like actually getting some sleep. He rolled over onto his side and opened up his watch’s screen. He sighed again knowing his computer search would take a while since not having that much information o

to go off of. He pulled up an image of Astrid’s teacher photo to look at. Rick let out one last long breath before closing his watch and eyes to sleep.

Back at Astrid’s apartment she sat on her den floor grading papers while listening to music. Her mood had taken a turn for the better after feeling like she had made progress with Rick that evening. Her communicator buzzed as a few incoming messages popped up. She glanced down still a little tipsy from earlier. Seeing the name Reagan pop up from the notifications, she held her breath in disbelief and scrambled to open up the messages. With her eyes glued to the screen she started to read the various messages,

“Hey Astrid”

“Been busy at work…..”

“Sorry for ghosting you”

“Could you come by this weekend when there isn’t anyone at the office?”

“We could catch up”

Astrid read the massages from Reagan silently to herself.

“Holy shit… okay.” She exhaled nervously while grabbing for her own flask she left under her coffee table.

She sent a reply back and then laid down on the floor.

“Here we go.” She said looking up at the ceiling now feeling exhausted.

—- PART EIGHT COMPLETED —-

—- SHUTTING DOWN —-

—- GOODBYE —-

#rick and morty #rick and morty fandom #rick and morty oc #rick sanchez fanfic #rick sanchez x reader #inside job fandom #inside job fanfic #crossover #inside job #rick and morty fanfiction #rick sanchez #reagan ridley #reagan ridley inside job #inside job reagan

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madeofcc · 2 years ago

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HAPPY SIMBLREEN 2022 ♥

AN A24 PICK’N’CHOOSE SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU, CREATURES OF THE NIGHT !

As you can see, this year, I chose the studio a24 as a reference for my simblreen treats. What’s a24 ? An independant movie production studio that produces the best (or at least, very original) indie movies of the last two decades. They release all kind of movies but I have to admit that the a24 thrillers/horror ones are part of the best I’ve seen the past decade. As I saw and loved most of them, I decided to share with you this little gift, also as a way to for you to discover all these powerfull movies. But beware, most of them might change your life ....

a24 isn’t properly horror as you can imagine it the old way ... a24 is more pschological, focused on trauma usually and really makes you think about what you’re seeing or have seen just after the movie ends.

Below the cut you’ll find the list of all the movies with a little synopsis and a personnal thought about it if I saw it (adding the numbers of swatches for posters and sweaters) and you can also check the sweater swatches.

Get and choose your treats HERE (SFS, no adfly, always free, NO SIMSDOM OR ANY KIND OF PAYWALL/WEBSITE THAT USES OUR CREATIONS TO MAKE PROFIT, do not claim as your own, etc ... Don’t be a dick honey)

+ 2023 UPDATE : Get your new posters ! Added Beau Is Afraid and Talk To Me !

GIFT 1 : 132 a24 movie posters ! A lot of different swatches so you can use it on a lot of different style of room / builds. They’re all free in game (that way your sims could enjoy some good art without losing money) and can be found in the posters category. (type Madeofcc or a24 to find them easily).

GIFT 2 : PEARL ♥ A lovely killer to download. I’m bad at making real people in sims so she’s more a lookalike than a real Mia Goth sim. All the cc are included. She has just one outfit though.

GIFT 3 : 40 @clumsyalienn Blanche Sweater recolour. I added to new swatches to the original cc so you don’t have the same cc twice in your game. Delete the old one if you have it, I kept the original swatches and added the a24 ones I made. They’re all black though as I didn’t know which colour to choose. Black is always essential.

List of a24 horror movies (in order)

Under the skin, directed by Jonathan Glazer (2014) - 1 sweater + 5 posters

An otherworldly woman preys on men in Scotland through seduction. (one of the first horror movie that made me sad at the end. The first part of the movie will make you have a loooot of questions about what’s going on until you get to the end and realize what you’ve seen ... It’s a powerfull tell about hunt, humanity and how beautifull and dangerous the world can be)

Life after Beth directed by Jeff Baena (2014) - 1 sweater + 5 posters

After his girlfriend dies and miraculously comes back to life, Zach takes the opportunity to experience all the things he regretted not doing with her before. (still have to see it ... But Aubrey Plaza is awesome in everything so this should be good. It’s a horror comedy)

Tusk directed by Kevin Smith (2014) - 5 posters

A podcaster is tortured by a strange man who plans to fit him into a perfectly constructed walrus costume. (you read it corrrectly ... one of the most disturbing movie I’ve seen in my life ! It’s basically some kind of human centipede thing in which a man is turned into a walrus of flesh and bones ! It is very disturbing but also has a strong reflexion on humanity. But seriously, think twice about watching it because you’ll never forget it)

The VVitch directed by Robert Eggers (2016) - 4 sweaters + 5 posters

In the 17th century, a Puritan family encounters forces of evil in the woods beyond their New England farm. (I discovered one of my new favourite director and actress with this first movie ! The Witch is not like any other witch movie that will make you see an old creepy woman do horrible things ... Evil is more insidious and the director makes you think about you’re seeing/happening most of the time. The end is awesome and Anyah Taylor Joy really shows that she’s one of the best actress of her generation in just one take. Would you like to live deliciously ?)

Green Room directed by Jeremie Saulnier (2016) - 1 sweater + 5 posters

A punk band finds themselves attacked by neo-Nazi skinheads after witnessing a murder at a remote club. (one of the last Anton Yelchin’s movie. It’s raw, violent and with a permanent tension ! The cinematography is awesome, you really have that green effect all along and, let’s face it, seeing a bunch of racists getting killed by a punk rock band isn’t the hardest thing to watch, even though, the movie is really violent ^^’ it’s also good to see Patrick Stewart walking once in a while)

Into the forest directed by Patricia Rozema (2016) - 5 posters

Two sisters living with their father have their peaceful lives interrupted after a continent-wide power outage. (still have to see it because it hasn’t been release in France. I’m not sure it’s properly a horror movie but apocalypse is always a good theme, especially with two good actor/actress such as Elliott Page and Evan Rachel Wood. It’s also directed by a woman so support female director !)

The Monster directed by Brian Bertino (2016) - 1 poster

A woman and her daughter find themselves stranded at night with a malicious creature hunting them. (I didn’t like it in my memory. Saw it a while ago to see Zoe Kazan but it wasn’t what I expected. It’s just a personnal opinion though)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter directed by Oz Perkins (2017) - 1 sweater+ 4 posters

Two girls left behind at their boarding school over winter break must battle a mysterious force of evil. (I remember watching this movie because of Emma Roberts but I don’t remember the plot at all ... It might be good though, but it really didn’t make a place in my head I guess ...)

It comes at night directed by Trey Edward Shults (2017) - 3 posters

A family hides in a forest as the Earth is taken over by a highly contagious disease. (it wasn’t what I expected at all so in my memory I didn’t like it but the story is interesting and it’s all about what we think could happen and what especially happens in the dark. At the end, we’re facing a simple human drama. Devastating)

The Killing of a sacred deer directed by Yorgos Lanthimos (2017) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

After a cardiac surgeon befriends a teenage boy with a connection to his past, his family begins to fall mysteriously ill. (I could have included all Yorgos Lanthimos movies because they’re all a bit spooky in a way but this one is close to Funny Games, in a weird way. There’s not a lot happening and most long shot but the tension is permanent and the story, really, scary)

Hereditary directed by Ari Aster (2018) - 4 sweaters + 5 posters

A family is haunted by an evil presence after the death of their secretive grandmother. (this one really made a move in the horror genre. Ari Aster created one of the most terrifying film of the decade with this one that will probably haunts you as well after you saw it. Personally, I still have in mind a lot of crazy scenes, years after seeing them! The ending especially has traumatized me a bit ^^” it is very disturbing and a brilliant horror movie)

Slice directed by Austin Visely (2018) - 1 sweater + 2 posters

Following the violent murders of several pizza deliverymen, two survivors set out to catch the culprits. (Still have to see it, it’s a horror comedy)

The Hole in the ground directed by Lee Cronin (2019) - 3 posters

After her son briefly vanishes, Sarah begins to fear that the boy who returned may not be her son at all. (Still have to see it but looks like some kind of Babadook story around here ... Might be good)

Climax directed by Gaspar Noé (2019) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A French dance troupe throws a party that takes a dark turn after everyone consumes sangria laced with LSD. (Only saw the 15 first minutes. I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of this director, even though he really can be talented, his work is most of the time super violent and hard to watch so, beware before watching this one as well. I’m not sure I’ll ever watch that film again because I’m scared to see what could happen ><)

High Life directed by Claire Denis (2019) - 3 posters

A group of criminals is sent on a space mission, traveling towards a black hole. (I love Claire Denis and Robert Pattinson (except in Twilight) so this one was a good surprise ! This movie is the perfect example that you don’t need a big budget to actually make a good SF movie ! It was also a new way to see all the usual bullshit that can happen in space horror, mixed with a touch of french cinema so ... A real experience)

Midsommar directed by Ari Aster (2019) - 4 sweaters + 7 posters

A group of friends travels to Sweden for a festival that occurs once every 90 years, only to find themselves in the clutches of a Scandinavian pagan cult. (Ari Aster is back ! After the trauma of Hereditary, now we travel with Florence Pugh and her depression in Sweden for a bloody and very loooooong Midsommar ! This movie is an experience like no other. It’s long, around 2h30 and 3h if you watch the director’s cut (I saw both and the director’s one is kind of better with just little addition, anyway) The story is simple but the screenplay is well made and will give you the thrill without showing you anything but flowers and sunlight. The ending is shocking but a releaf for the viewer as well as for Florence Pugh’s character ... I still don’t know if I love or hate this movie though XD)

The Lighthouse directed by Robert Eggers (2019)- 4 sweaters + 6 posters

Stranded on an island, two lighthouse keepers descend into madness. (After The Witch, now the men ... This movie confirmed that Robert Eggers was a new director to follow. With The Lighthouse, Eggers creates a beautifull but terrifying piece of art here, with amazing actors (Dafo is, as usual, as brilliant as scary crazy, and Pattinson really shows a new card here but I won’t say more). This movie is kind of disturbing in a way that you’ll experiment the close space and environment where the characters live but you’ll also fall pretty deep into their insanity ...)

In Fabric directed by Peter Strickland (2019) - 1 sweater + 3 posters

A haunted red dress torments its owners. (I watched the first 40 minutes, which were weird. I love that we have a black female character for the lead but I was also very disturbed by one particular scene with an old white man so I kind of stopped the movie to watch it another time ...)

Saint Maude directed by Rose Glass (2021) - 1 sweater + 6 posters

Hospice nurse Maud, a recent convert to Roman Catholicism, becomes obsessed with saving the soul of one of her patients. (still have to see it but I always love weird creepy story about christians .... White people are the craziest ... Same vibes as the Servant serie)

False Positive directed by John Lee (2021) - 1 poster

A woman begins to suspect there is something sinister about her pregnancy. (still have to see it ... There’s Justin Theroux in it so at least there’s something nice to look at I guess ...)

Lamb directed by Valdimar Jóhannsson (2021)- 4 ADA sweaters + 5 posters

A childless couple in rural Iceland finds themselves parenting an endearing but unsettlingly humanoid lamb. (okay ... This one ... I saw it few weeks ago and it really was something. The story is very simple and could be resume in 2 sentences just to tell you the entire movie. It’s pretty long as there’s not a lot going on but the tension is weirdly permanent, you know that something is coming but you don’t know what, when, where ... Ada, the little Lamb, will first make you say “wtf” at least 15 times until you realise you’re as addicted to her as her adoptive mom ... Anyway, never fuck around with nature ♥)

X directed by Ti West (2022) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A production team filming a porno finds themselves in danger while staying in a secluded farmhouse in Texas. (One of the best surprise of the year ! I watch it mainly for the cast and also the see a bunch of people being killed by some old couple but I really didn’t expect that ! The movie takes a looot of time to settle everything to make everything kind of explode in a extreme rage at the end of the movie. The death are gory, violent and the characters are as well written as the already iconic vilain of the movie : Pearl ♥ Mia Goth and Ti West really created a new iconic horror vilain here that we actually would like to see more ! This movie is also the first to be released but the second in the story order as Ti West decided to make a prequel and a sequel to X ! I already look further to discover them)

Men directed by Alex Garland (2022) - 4 posters

A young woman goes on a solo vacation in the English countryside after the death of her ex-husband. (Veeeeeery spooky this one ! Alex Garland is a brilliant director and really made a beautifull movie here. Not that the story will make you cry like a beautifull life drama, no. Alex Garland is a director that pictures nature perfectly. Focusing on flowers and trees rather than blood and guts, he really created here a brilliant allegory of the male toxicity around. Some scene are as beautifull as traumatic and you’ll probably never see you mail box on your door the same way, ever ...)

Bodies, Bodies, Bodies directed by Alina Reijn (2022) - 6 posters

A murder transpires during a party between young, rich, and backstabbing friends. (Finally saw it this week and .... It was not was I expected but it was probably one of the funniest a24 horror I’ve seen ! The movie is a good criticism about insta girls/guys who are so selfish they don’t realize what’s happening around them XD You’ll probably never forget that ending !)

Pearl directed by Ti West (2022) - 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A prequel to X, it follows the origins of Pearl and how she became the person she was. (A brilliant masterpiece ! Mia Goth is amazing and really deserves all the awards for her performance ! Really one of the best film I saw in 2022 ... Ti West and Mia Goth are also preparing a sequel to X called Maxxxine, that will be released next year)

Beau Is Afraid by Ari Aster (2023) - 6 posters

A paranoid man embarks on an epic odyssey to get home to his mother ... (Still have to see it ... It’s 3h long ... But it looks epic indeed.)

Talk To Me by Danny and Michael Philippou (2023) - 6 posters

When a group of friends discover how to conjure spirits using an embalmed hand, they become hooked on the new thrill, until one of them goes too far and unleashes terrifying supernatural forces. (I have to admit that it was not what I expected - a slasher with Death - but it was scary and spooky. The hand thing is really creepy and there’s some very violent moment that you’re not ready to forget ...)

+ EXTRA SWATCHES : these films aren’t typically horror but they’re some kind of creepy and a24 with good visuals so ...

Enemy directed by Denis Villeneuve (2013) + 2 sweaters + 7 posters

The lives of two identical men with two distinct personas become intertwined. (2 Jake Gyllenhall in 1 movie ... Come on !!!! An instant masterpiece)

Under the Silver Lake directed by David Robert Mitchell (2019) (suggested by @bauhauzzz thanks a lot ♥) 2 sweaters + 5 posters

A young man investigates the sudden disappearance of his neighbor, only to stumble upon a dangerous conspiracy. (Andrew Garfield as a crazy characters for the director of It Follows ... A long, mysterious experience in my memory, with a shocking ending and a lot of David Lynch vibes)

#ts4cc #sims4cc #simblreen #simblreen treats #enjoy :)#ts4 #sims4 #a24 #sims4 a24 #a24 horror #hope you enjoy the treats

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smokingangelhoe · 3 years ago

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Project Buddy

HighSchoolAU!Rio x Black Reader

Prompt: You and Rio have known of each other throughout the whole time in high school but never had a conversation with each other but what happens when you guys get partnered up to do a project?

Warnings: Fluff, very light angst

A/n: Might be a second part but idk yet and this will be told in the readers POV

Word Count:

__________________________

6:00am

I sighed softly as my sleep was interrupted by the sound of my iPhone alarm. I reached over and shut the traumatizing sound off. I lay in bed for a few more minutes before finally getting up. I opened the door to my closet and picked out a simple and comfortable outfit and laid it on my bed. I walked into my bathroom and took off my bonnet letting my hair flow out down to my lower back. I ran my hands through it a couple of times before combing it and throwing it in a high ponytail. I let out a yawn before getting started on my morning routine.

35 minutes later.......

I wrapped my body in a towel as I stepped out of the shower. The smell of rose and peach filled my bathroom. I wiped my mirror off and started on my makeup. I kept it simple by just doing foundation, my eyebrows, and applying mango gloss to my plump lips. I let my hair down and ran my hands through it a couple more times. I slid on my favorite white lace thong and the matching white lace bra before putting my outfit on over it. I slid my shoes on being careful of my nails.

"Good morning honey" I looked over and saw my mom smiling at me in her work uniform

"Good morning ma" I responded

"I'm heading out to work and here's some money for lunch" she said handing me $25 dollars

I thanked her and kissed her cheek "Also your bike is fully charged if you want to ride it instead of walking" she said before kissing my head and leaving

I finished gathering my stuff for school before leaving my room. I grabbed an under armor and Gatorade along with a granola bar. I grabbed my keys and made sure had everything before exiting the house. I unlocked my bike and placed the lock in my bag. I climbed onto the bike before placing my AirPods in and rushing off to school.

"Elizabeth I told you many times I don't want you. I was drunk and you were drunk that's it. Leave me the fuck alone." I chuckled quietly to myself as I caught Rio's and Beth conversation

"What are you laughing at?" I looked around the hallway trying to see who she was talking to

"Yes, you, who else?" Beth huffed rolling her eyes

I arched my eyebrow and gave Rio a look "Control your pet, please. I think her collar is a little loose" I said making her jaw drop as other kids tried not to laugh at the bright red girl

He shook his head with a smirk as I walked away from them. I arrived at my English class and sat in my usual seat in the back. I pulled out my notes and plugged my phone in to charge as I waited for the bell to ring and the class to fill in.

"Hey queen" I smiled instantly at the sound of my best friend's voice

"Hi my love" I said wrapping my hands around her in a hug

"I see you rocking the pink today boo" she said pulling out her notebook and a pen

"Yeah something comfortable yet not bummy looking you know" I said making her nod

"Sooo I have a little tea" she said making all my attention go straight on her "You remember adam right?" she questioned making me nod "Well we've kinda been hitting it off lately because I was leaving the library when he called my name and asked me 'Hey sweetheart you mind helping me on Mr. Howards test' and of course, I said yes but even after the test we both confessed how we want to know each other more and explore whatever we have going on" she said smiling hella hard

I cooed as I saw her bright smile "I'm so happy for you boo, you definitely deserve it" I said making her giggle and nod

"But when are you and Rio finally gonna get at each other" she said arching her brow

I pursed my lips and looked away "There's nothing to get at" I said making her scoff

"Yeah right even though yall don't actually say things to each other, your eyes speak everything" she said making me roll my eyes

Before I could respond the bell rang and the rest of the kids piled into the classroom "Good afternoon everyone, I hope you guys had an amazing day. Today, we're going to be starting a project, but before you start groaning and moaning it's actually very easy. I will partner you up with one other person and you both have 2 weeks to gather information about each other's life. Now I don't mean what their favorite color or kid show. I want you to explore the aspects we don't get to see. Can someone give me an example?" Mrs. Davis said looking around the room

I raised my hand making her smile and nod her head towards me "Like they're family" I answered making her nod

"Yeah what kind of traditions do they have? Kind of food? Music? Anything but the basic 21 questions. Alright with that being said I have already picked your partners for you" she announced making us all groan "Yes I know I know you guys would like to pick your own person but you need a fresh face." she said "Now when I pair the two people up one of you needs to move next to your partner and sit there for the rest of the class period." she said making us nod

5 minutes later.....

"Rio and y/n" my head immediately popped up as the teacher called our names

I bit my lip as I looked over at Love who was sitting with adam and a big smirk. I rolled my eyes "Ouch mama am I that bad?" my breath hitched at the feeling of him so close

'This nigga had to teleport cuz I didn't even hear the chair move' I thought to myself

I kept my composure and looked over at him with a smirk of my own "Eh not enough information for to decide" I said making him smirk

He cleared his throat and sat forward "Well I can't wait till you get your answer" he said making me nod

"Me too" I admitted softly making me smile

End of the day.......

I sighed softly as I finally exited the school. I made my way over to my bike and was about to ride off when I heard a familiar voice call out my name.

"Mama hold on" Rio called out as he jogged up to me

"What's up boo?" I questioned softly as I was completely drained for the day

"We never exchanged a way to contact one another to schedule when we're gonna get started." he said tucking his hands in his front pockets

I giggled quietly and flashed him a teasing smile "Are you asking me for my number?" I said tilting my head

I could've sworn I saw some blush coat his sexy cheeks but decided to leave it alone. He nodded making me hum "So ask for it" I teased making him bite his lip

"Angel can I please have your number" he asked

'Gawd fuck me' I thought as my eyes internally rolled to the back of my head

"Yes" I breathed making him smile

_____________________________

To be continued........

#rio good girls #rio x black!reader #high school #fluff fic

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kurtanaaa · 4 years ago

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ok time to assign abba songs to glee characters

humour me this is very self indulgent

gimme gimme gimme: definitely marley tina and unique!!! i think the cheerios should back them up and dance with them for this

take a chance on me: tina to quinn hehe.... itd be adorable... and the rest of the gang has to do the backup vocals and look delighted the whole time

waterloo: everybody can do this one!!! big group number!!!! they HAVE TO HAVE THE ABBA STYLE FITS THO. also i think santana and kurt should take the lead bc im biased and also theyd kill it

money money money: wouldnt it be amazing if sam sang this. insanity. he should drape himself across a piano. go sam go!

fernando: rachel to finn (they may have ONE abba song. ONE.) she can sing this in season four or five

voulez-vous: original new directions girls!!!!. also a group number partially. i think it would be nifty if the warblers got the sticks out of their asses and joined this one 2. like at a big party with both glee clubs and a bunch of mckinley students. yes ik that would never happen but this is MY fantasy!

the winner takes it all: kurt about blaine in s4 or quinn about... any man ever

chiquitita: mercedes to quinn in season one!!!!!

lay all your love on me: sam and mercedes with the new directions girls backing up cedes and the guys backing up sam of COURSE! they have to be on a beach. and if the guys dont do the stupid walk they do in mamma mia what is the point!!!! entertain me, boys! im also thinking that at the end of the song everybody should run into the water and have the time of their lives

slipping through my fingers: quinn in season three about beth. this would make me sob my eyes out

super trouper: brittany, mercedes, and santana to the season four or season six newbies!!! as a little performance momenttttt

honey honey: mercedes, kurt, and - hear me out - finn. they drag him in to join while mercedes is hanging out in the garage and he is secretly living his best life

sos: artie and... someone. idk who probably mercedes bc the harmonies r so sexy. maybe kitty? OR alternate idea: st. berry!

does your mother know: marley to jake. no it doesnt REALLY fit but i think they would have a lot of fun and it would make marley smile which i love to see

knowing me knowing you: puck. i dont have anything else but i know that im right.

one of us: santana about brittany in season two or marley and jake in season five

under attack: kurt in season five before the proposal... and santana and rachel are exasperatedly backing him up and dancing around him while he loses his marbles

mamma mia: i know they already did this as a group number but i just think it fits so well im not changing it. i need all the characters to join in tho not just kurtcheltana and the s4 lima kids. and they Must have the fun outfits

dancing queen: santana and mercedes own this sorry bout it!!!!! however i think that they should run through the school collecting all the ladies in the entire building and frolicking with them as they sing

when i kissed the teacher: emma. this mightve singlehandedly made me care slightly about wemma

my love, my life: blaine about kurt in season four... now THIS wouldve made me SAD

the name of the game: kurt about blaine in season two OR unique!!! i think she could do this so well. i dont have a scenario i just like the idea

angeleyes: mercedes about sam when hes dating brittany. she would KILL this and the theme is very fitting

i have a dream: marley... omg i just thought of this it fits her so well... OH WOW IM BIG BRAINED THIS IS SO APT !! and everyone can back her up like in chasing pavements

andante andante: tina and quinn. then they KISS!

thank you for the music: sue. i mean it. its during regionals at mckinley and shes singing it in her office very quietly and then the new directions kids pass her office and hear her and slowly start singing along with her in the hallway. and then the other show choirs wind up there too and they all sing it together and its just a big ol wall of good sounds. i think that would be neat. we shouldve gotten the different show choirs singing together more

i dont have an explanation or a defense for this i was just bored. yes i know its mostly the girls what are you gonna do about it!!!!!!!!!

#these have been rattling around in my brain for so long #glad to get them out #i also have an idea for what the abba tribute episode shouldve been but i need to find an appropriately insane glee style conflict #glee headcanons #rae's headcanons #long post #rae talks #glee #new directions #i know it really is mostly the girls but like. the songs suit their ranges best #FINALLY TAKING THIS OUT OF THE DRAFTS ARI AND JAS THIS IS FOR YOU

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ilikedetectives · 4 years ago

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“Eivor is m!Eivor’s skin!”, sweetie, calm down, the dude doesn’t even have a name, he’s just called “M_Player” in the game files. At least Eivor was called Jora.

“Jora is a gender-neutral name!”, honey, how feminine or gender-neutral do you think “M_Player” is? Are you saying Ubi originally planned to give us 2 male protags to choose from? Are you hearing yourself? Just so we’re clear “M_Player” means “Male Player”, not Magnus, lol.

ACK_Jora_Head_DiffuseMap_PC_Ggp_Prospero_Scarlett 1868049798387

Head_M_Player_DiffuseMap_PC_Ggp_Prospero_Scarlett 1868050260562

We don’t know why the devs changed Jora to Eivor (my gut feeling? Probably cuz they wanna make sure there’s no question about female is canon, as if “Let the Animus decide” mode, she/hers pronouns even if you play as male, and Varinsdottir/Varin’s Daughter aren’t enough proof), because Eivor is undeniably a female name, specifically, an old woman’s name. Think of it like Beth for example. So yea, female has always been in the plan to be canon from the get go. If “M_Player” doesn’t show how much the narrative team doesn’t care about him (I’m sure marketing team loves him tho), idk what can; narrative team didn’t even bother consider a name for him lol.

So yea, the physical attributes of Eivor are definitely intentional as part of her character. Listen, I know it’s trendy to shit on Ubi for reusing base game assets like Helix outfits (have you seen the Roman statues in Alexandria in Origins popping in Asgard lololol?) and Ubi totally deserves it, but it’s not the case here. Eivor walks like a brute. Idk about you but growing up in Nordic winter, walking in knee to waist-high snow, carrying heavy supplies, while riding horses, fighting, and fishing, I don’t think Eivor can walk like Aspasia/Hekate. Even then, Ubi could’ve easily gave Eivor Aspasia’s walking animation, swap and done; shit, they could’ve given her Kassandra’s walking animation, they have all the feminine walking animations in their assets library from Origins and Odyssey to choose from if they want, but they didn’t! I’m convinced that this is intentional. Holy hell, Eivor has arm hair, do you know how rare that is in video games? A female protag with arm hair? Granted the LOD is :hidethepain:, but I see they’re putting in the effort! If someone says she’s men’s skin for her hairstyle, armor, and voice, Imma summon Abby and let her slap some misogynies out of you. Also if you say you can’t relate to a queer character cuz she isn’t strictly attracted to only men, please get your homophobic ass out of my blog. The devs could’ve gone with a more feminine Eivor to “sell” better like what the higher-ups/marketing want, but they didn’t! So celebrate that spirit, instead of shitting on it because your misogynist brains can’t understand the narrative for a gnc, queer woman.

“But but, there are choices!” oh, do you hear that? That is the sound of Ubi making sfm money with turning AC into an RPG that these RPG elements are here to stay, “Let the Animus decide” is a good meet-me-half-way method to let those who want to experience the story as canon, suck it up buttercups.

Conclusion: a lot of us (including me) would love a stand-alone female lead, but that takes progress, especially with Ubi’s culture. Change is not immediate, higher-ups will always be higher-ups. Progress is slow, but I do see some improvements, at least in terms of canon. We go from not knowing Kassandra is canon until the scandal last year to now having multiple explicit proofs from the game and a canon gameplay mode showing Eivor is canon: she is queer, she is buff, her voice is rough, and she has arm hair! I, and a lot of people, like to count this small victory. You want changes, good for you, but don’t shit on the progress made so far that basically lays the foundation for better changes to come, as “lazy” work, because you can’t handle gnc, queer women as women. You get changes by celebrating the small victories, not shitting on it.

#Scandanavian culture and history experts feel free to chime in about Jora #Eivor #eivor varinsdóttir #eivor varinsdottir #f!Eivor #AC Valhalla #Assassin's Creed #assassin's creed valhalla #Kassandra #Ubisoft #AC Odyssey #Cisterhood #AC Sisterhood #misogynistic feminists

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herondaleholly31 · 4 years ago

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Only Angel Harry Styles X Reader

Overview: A night you and Harry will never forget, which included a black satin slip and a hotel room in the city that never sleeps.

Soft smut

A/N: LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL WHILST READING THIS IT BRINGS THE VIBE PERFECTLY. Thought I’d write something a little different today. It’s my first time I’ve written something like this but I like it! Hope you do too. Just gotta respect and love the definition of perfection: Mr Harry Styles.

Like and comment!

Word count: 2400

Harry was dripping in sweat. He could feel the back of his jacket stuck, and when he tried to shrug it off, he could feel the shirt peel away from his back. It was another outfit that was going to have to be dry cleaned, but he didn't care. The crowd had been one of the best of the tour yet, and he could still feel the pure adrenaline scorching through every pore, making him skittish as him and the group of staff and friends followed him down the winding corridors of the arena. You had said that you were going to get him a little later at the hotel, so he wanted to get out now to avoid getting stuck in the New York traffic.

"Brilliant as always," Beth the stylist raised her water bottle to him as he entered his dressing room. "Thanks," he smiled. "I'm sorry, I've got another outfit to be cleaned if that's okay." "You can wear the trousers and shirt back, there's no point in those being rushed cleaned. Give me the jacket, I'll get it sent out tomorrow with the others." "You're amazing." Harry tried to unbutton all the small rose buttons that kept the bottom of the metallic rose jacket tight to his torso. Luckily, the shirt underneath was white, so the sweat wasn't that obvious, so he would be able to blend into the crowd a little more comfortable in case he had to make a quick getaway. Unluckily, the jacket was fiddly, and he was in such a rush, his fingers kept slipping, and he started to get agitated. "Come here," Beth waved him over and then bent down to help, her fingers a lot more nimble and calm.

"You're in a rush to get out of here."

"Y/N is meeting me at the hotel, I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Ohh," Beth smirked and raised an eyebrow "you've got plans or something?" Harry was trying not to get his hopes up too much, but yes. It was all he'd been thinking about during the last songs, and he had made sure to not prolong the encore any more than it needed to be. By the time he was singing Kiwi, he had felt his gut twisting so much in anticipation that he had struggled to get some of the lyrics out.

"I just don't want to get sidetracked by anybody from Sony," he said instead. "I'm here tomorrow, they can catch me then. Oh," he was running around the room now, free of his jacket, picking up his phone charger and the keys to the hotel, "could you tell Mitch and the guys that I won't be able to go for drinks tonight? I did mention it earlier, but I would hate for them to think I've forgotten."

"It's okay, they know that Y/N is here. Now go," she pushed him playfully out the door, "There's a taxi waiting for you at exit five. I'll see you back here at three tomorrow." Harry did a thumbs up

"You're an angel, Beth."

"Tell Y/N I said hi!" Beth yelled down the corridor at Harry's retreating back. Harry was already scrambling with everything in his hands while sending you a quick text: Will be with you soon. As promised, a black car with tinted windows was waiting at the exit. The driver was leaning against the bonnet, but as soon as he saw Harry, he jumped up and ran to open the door.

"Where to Mr styles?" he barked with a strong New York accent.

"The Conrad please Micheal," Harry smiled. The gates were already rattling open as Michel gunned out into the alleyways behind Madison Square Garden, able to change routes quick as a flash when a massive wave of people burst out from the arena. Even though the windows were opaque Harry shrank slightly in his seat, reading the text you had just sent with a small smirk. Don't be too long….

"How long, Micheal?" Harry called.

"20 minutes Mr styles," Micheal looked through the rearview window and spoke over the noise of the city around them.

20 minutes. He could survive that.

But as the minutes counted down, Harry's leg jiggled more and more, and the veins on his arms started to protruded as he fought to keep his mind and body under control. It felt like hours when realistically it'd only been minutes when Micheal pulled into the side entrance of the Conrad hotel. Already there was another large crowd of fans and photographers at the front entrance which could prove a problem tomorrow morning, but it meant that tonight no one was going to be leaving his hotel room. Good. He didn't need to leave with the plans he was envisioning. Wishing Micheal good night Harry darted out, smiled briefly and nodded at the usher waiting at the door, and hopped into the elevator waiting open for him. He clicked the floor number, the doors closed, then clicked it three more times as if to speed it up. There was a ding, and the doors opened, and Harry tore down the corridor to the large double doors at the end. He skidded to a holt and breathed for a second. She might be exhausted or asleep. Don't just tear in there and assume that she's going to want to jump on you. Even though a small selfish part of him protested, Harry beat that back. She's here, that's the best part out of all of this.

When he opened the door, Harry did not notice the candles or the bath full of bubbles, or the glasses of champagne looking over the glittering view of central park. All he could see was you, and the black slip dress.

His jaw dropped. He blinked, shook his head, then looked again. The slip was satin and rippled gorgeously over your body, so you looked like liquid midnight. Lace edged the skirt and the bust, drawing his eyes to your chest, dropping his phone on the floor in hysteria when he saw that you weren't wearing a bra.

"Hi honey," you smiled sweetly, feigning innocence by crossing your arms behind your back. "Did you miss me?"

Harry fell to his knees. Breathing hard, he started rubbing his hands up and down his thighs, then through his hair, as he tried to comprehend at what he was looking at. "Fuck me," he whispered.

"I heard the show went really well," you went on while surreptitiously pulling the back of the dress, so the hem slipped a little higher up your leg. "I could hear the screams from here at one point." Harry wasn't listening. As you took a step forward, he seemed to almost whimper as he looked at you, his pupils so dark in the dim light that for a moment, he appeared to be controlled by the image of you. He started crawling towards you, slowly with anticipation, trying to find the right words to say. He had lost the feeling in his legs; they didn't seem to need blood with the way his gut was roaring. He couldn't take his eyes off you.

"Aren't you going to say you missed me?" You teased, pointing a foot out as if to stop him from coming closer, enjoying the way his eyes seemed to throb out of his head with excited shock. Slowly, Harry pushed your foot down, closing the gap, so he was knelt down on the floor in front of you. He reached out and placed both of his hands on the back of your calves. The skin was soft from being recently shaved, and it was heavenly to touch. Taking his time, he started to trail his fingers slowly up, fluttering at the back of your knees, before travelling up further to the soft mound of your thighs. He moved his thumbs to part your thighs slightly and then plant one light kiss on the inside of your leg, his eyes never leaving yours. This time you were the one to gasp, and seeing you from this angle was enough to undo Harry right there. Further and further his hands went up, trailing the thigh, then the curve of your bum where they rested for a moment. Instinctively you squeezed your legs together, and Harry enjoyed knowing he could still do that to you. He liked seeing you like this though; powerful, in charge, confident in who you were. That alone was driving him mad. He grazed your skin, going up and down with the tips of his fingers. His kisses peppered further up, touching each freckle, whilst you let one hand play with his hair, pulling it each time you felt his breath against your skin. He knew the rings he still wore were cold, so he took them off one by one, letting them drop onto the floor and roll away. You were still waiting for him to say something, but now you were also struggling with keeping your control, not wanting to break away from this moment just yet. Harry held onto the hem of the slip and used it to pull himself up, transferring his hands back to your bum and thighs when he stood over you.

"I didn't feel anything underneath the slip love,” he was finally able to croak out. You grinned and deliberately looked him up and down, letting your eyes devour the sight of the man you'd been thinking about ever since he left.

"That's because," you leaned into his chest, your boobs pressed next to his raised heart rate, "I'm not wearing anything." Harry let out a ragged sigh, letting his head fall back as he fought every urge not to rip the slip off you right then. Instead, he leaned closer, his mouth to your ear, and lowered his voice, so it seemed to rumble in your ear. "God, I've missed you." You went to move your hands up to straps to take off the slip, but Harry shook his head.

"Not yet." One arm moved around your waist, keeping you close to him as he gently swayed you back and forth. He was retaking control, and you let him. As he swayed, his hand drifted up and down, moving higher up your spine each time until he cupped your neck. His shirt was still sticking to his back, so when you mirrored his arms, the curve of his lower back into his shoulders was hard against your fingers. And then, not able to hold it any more, Harry gently brushed lips against yours. The overwhelming surge of impulse took over, and the kisses quickly changed from soft and sweet to hot and desperate. Harry felt as if he had woken up from an illness he didn't know had drained him as he kissed your neck and shoulders, seeing faint marks from when he'd done this before. Gripping your hips, Harry suddenly lifted you up, smirking in delight when you sat comfortably around his torso, wrapping your legs without hesitation around him. He walked over to the bed and deliberately put a knee up so as he fell, he could cup you against his body. You moulded perfectly together, whispering to you all the while about how much he'd missed you.

"You're killing me," he laughed against your cheek when you deliberately squirmed against him. "How do you do this to me every time?" His hair was already wild from performing, so it was so curly it tangled in your fingers, and you hummed in delight at how messy he looked. Harry went to move down, but couldn't help himself but kiss you on the lips again, the sound of breath coming from his nose loud in your ears. He laced his fingers between yours while biting the skin on your neck.

Harry started to move the slip up your body, running his hands over your thighs and then your hips, kissing the mole at the spot that rested just below your hip line. You readied to raise your body to his mouth, but he shook his head again, looking up at you in glee. The slip went higher, over your stomach now, and you both were surprised with the groan of delight that escaped Harry's lips as he nipped the natural roll that rested just under your boobs. He chuckled slightly in surprise, widening his eyes for a moment, but didn't stop as he massaged and gripped your sides, his mouth travelling up from your belly button to the valley of your chest. When he finally got the slip off your body, he sat up, his legs straddling you, so you were lying on the bed beneath him. He started to unbutton his shirt, letting it slowly fall open. He rolled his shoulders back, loosening his muscles and rolling his neck around, deliberately showing off the broadness of his shoulders as he shrugged the shirt to fall off behind him. He drank you in, feeling your hips move, so you leaned up to look him in his crotch, making him gulp. There was nothing bashful about you, just dishevelled hair and skin unmarked like summer clouds. You had enjoyed seeing Harry's tattoos being revealed with every open button, until all you could see with the familiar markings on his chest and bicep, highlighted by the golden glow of his skin from the American sun. He kept his necklace on though, enjoying when he leaned back over you the way your eyes closed momentarily as he let his dangle over your face. He bunched up the stain slip and held it over you, gripping his tight in one fist. "Never get rid of this," he instructed. You smiled. You moved one hand to his waist, looking for his nod to continue. When he did, your hands worked quickly until it was just you two, united at last, and not even the noise of New York City could drown out the cries of his name. They echoed for hours later until Harry didn't want to hear his name screamed any other way.

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry #harry styles writing #imagine #soft smut #new york #harry styles is beautiful

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ks-caster · 3 years ago

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Beth Liveblogs Black Widow

Bought that premium access on Disney+ so I can have the privilege of pausing for snacks and using subtitles as needed - so let’s go!

Beth’s Spoiler-Free Review: Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the movie - the plot was compelling, the characters were likable, and the stunts were really excellent. I felt like hair and makeup dropped the ball on realism multiple times which I was sad about, because how she looks seems to be pretty important to Nat so I expected it to be done well in her movie.

I did not like the way they framed the tail end (denouement - obviously because this movie is mid-series we know how it ends to an extent) - I felt like the connect-up to Infinity War was lackluster, especially compared to how enjoyable and dynamic the rest of the film was.

Spoilery live-reactions are under the cut. Click at own risk! Feel free to rebagel with your own impressions, thoughts, jokes and rebuttals!

The movie begins with a young Nat with blue dyed hair and visible roots, showing her natural red. Do you know how hard it is to get natural red out of hair, enough to make it blue and not green? And I’m supposed to believe that a middle-school age girl in 1995 Ohio had access to these chemicals? I’ll give her the white hair in IW/Endgame because she’s an adult with a lot of experience as a spy altering her appearance. But as a child? In the 90s? While her family is apparently in hiding? Sus.

The scene with Alexei laying on the on the wing while Nat learns to fly? AMAZING stunts. Amazing. AND someone in an action movie is finally smart enough to shoot the tires.

Nice skills on young Nat, getting the gun. Since we know from Endgame that Nat’s father is named Ivan, we know that Alexei isn’t really her dad. She also refers to presumably the red room as going “back.” Was she lent out to these agents to legitimize their family?

-0-

Nice knife moves, Yelena - I love the hand switch.

Ooooh so she was being mind controlled and the red stuff freed her? Interesting.

-0-

Nat is in Norway - visit Thor! He’d love to have you. (I’m mixing up my timeline, aren’t I?)

Supplies Dude whose name I didn’t catch refers to the Avengers breakup as a divorce - I kinda love it. It’s accurate!

BUDAPEST omg are we finally going to get the story?? Are we??

Box dye? I’m supposed to believe she got all that red out of her hair with flippin’ Loreal? Really? And that toner isn’t even the color she ultimately went - it’s too yellow. Sus.

-0-

Oop, looks like Nat got caught up in Yelena’s desertion.

Do not give Nat your metal frisbee, robocop - she’s been around Steve long enough that she knows how to use it.

I laughed out loud when she did the string him up thing with the cables - literal spider move, I love it!

Mystery box is empty - classic bait and switch.

-0-

BUDAPEST - WE ARE IN BUDAPEST - IT’S HAPPENING PEOPLE

Nat closing the door behind her is a small thing but I appreciate it - no sneaking up behind her.

When Yelena throws Nat in the kitchen and her feet hit the door and she spins before she hits the ground? That was a helluva stunt.

Oooooh honey. No body left to check is ALWAYS movie code for they lived.

Dreykov’s daughter? Another hint from Avengers 2012? C’mon, movie.

Riding the chimney down? Another incredible stunt.

Dreykov can scan his soldiers’ bodies and terminate them if they’re too damaged to keep fighting? Big yikes. With Nat where she is character development wise, the stakes are now much higher because if she injures an opponent they may be killed remotely.

“Do you want me to chase him down and un-steal it?”

The car door under the bike was an excellent stunt - as was the car going into the subway. Though I’ve never seen a subway entrance big enough to admit a car.

Who hasn’t wanted to slide down the middle to avoid the crowded escalators lol.

Yelena making fun of Nat’s sexy poses I am LIVING omg.

Running water for wounds. RUNNING WATER. NOT ALCOHOL. The vodka goes on the INSIDE for the pain - the running water cleans the OUTSIDE. If there’s a convenience store then there’s a bathroom, with running water. Cleansing with something like alcohol is a LAST RESORT and you do not look like you’re at that point resource-wise. I thought these ladies were supposed to be highly trained in all of the things?

“Could be fun though.” “I saw where he put the keys” “Top drawer green cabinet.” I love their chaos.

Yelena’s vest and its pockets and the resulting conversation are positively majestic.

“You are sensitive.” “You’re a very annoying person.”

-0-

Do! Not! Move! Around! Like! That! While! Getting! A! Tattoo!!!! That poor artist was trying his best and Alexei just...

Ooooh was Red Guardian like Captain Russia? Interesting.

“Just don’t make a scene.” “You made a scene didn’t you.”

David Harbor running up that wall and then wiping out after the guard shocks him... I really loved that stunt, especially since they don’t show him being all super cut - he’s a big guy! He’s allowed to have fat over his muscles and still be a strong dude! I love it.

“Such a poser.” Girl, you need to meet Loki - he does a lot of hair flips too lol.

The sibling energy between the girls during the rescue!!!

“Whooooooa... this would be a cool way to die.” Yelena, I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you but get your head in the game girl.

Poor Alexei - he never gets to do the dramatic escape from *inside* of the aircraft.

Hang on, no ovaries? So all of these women are now in immediate, surgically-induced menopause? The uterus part makes sense if the intent was to prevent them from getting pregnant if they have sex during a mission, but, what, they gotta be on estrogen supplements for the rest of their lives? That’s just really poor planning. Like it was hilarious the way Yelena went into the biology of it to make Alexei uncomfortable, but that really doesn’t make sense to do to your superhero kids. It’s just bad science.

Love that Yelena keeps her vest even after she changes into her matching white flight suit. That vest better make it to the end of the movie.

-0-

“Honey, we’re home.” I 100% expected her to shoot him on sight tbh. it would have been funny.

Alexei squeezing into the uniform is such a post-pandemic feel. Also all of the fancy braids at that table; I see where Natasha got her propensity for them.

Animal cruelty warning, ugh. Poor piggy Alexei.

Oooh the photo album and Natasha remembered staging the pictures; they’re emotional for her but in a different way.

I wonder if robocop’s shield is actually Alexei’s.

The singing between Alexei and Yelena was a really beautiful moment because it was neither auto-tuned-good nor hilariously bad - it felt really real, especially the way Yelena’s so choked up she can barely make sounds come out.

Uh-oh, mama has one of those monitor your vitals and kill your ass suits. The suits I understand - the eyeliner though... when and why did she do her makeup?? That’s not really the thing that comes to mind for me when I’m getting ready to do something athletic, like say kidnapping my supersoldier fake family.

“This is a much less cool way to die.” Also WTF why would they do that. Wouldn’t it be easier to get the information out of her while her brain is still attached to, y’know, her mouth??

CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER they switched outfits and faces ooooooh like mother like daughter.

The door opening as Alexei is leaning against it dramatically bahahahaha

I love the plan. I’m thoroughly weirded out that Melina has a red wig just lying around that perfectly immitates Natasha though.

“Yelena, it’s mama. You have a two-inch blade in your belt.”

Oh. My. God.

Antonia.

A pheromone lock preventing them from hurting them if they’re close enough to smell him - I like it. It’s clever and new.

Bahahaha poser! You posed I saw you! Still love the vest.

Natasha is really good at manipulating people’s emotions to get what she wants - I mean, scary good. So if she’s provoking Dreykov into beating her up, there’s a reason.

“Using the only resource the world has too much of - girls.” Kill him.

-0-

When I say I whooped out loud... SEVERING THE NERVE. Thank you for your cooperation. YAAAAAAS QUEEN.

-0-

“Slight change of plans - we are going into a controlled crash.” The way she said that was just so mom-like omg!

-0-

The grenade as a delivery system was super smart - but yikes what if she’d mistimed it and blew Natasha up? Also, after the beating she took and how hard she had to wack her own face into the desk to sever her olfactory nerve and the amout of blood we saw her leave behind from doing that, her face should be a LOT more messed up, come on makeup department.

“Get as far away from here as possible.” And then keep going because General I-Collect-Supersoldiers-Like-Stamps Ross is about to turn up at your location looking for trouble and he’d snap you ladies up like there’s a fire sale and you’re going out of stock.

This crash doesn’t look all that controlled, Melina. I’m starting to suspect that most of the widows won’t live long enough to make their own decisions...

All of the aerial stunts were amaaaaaazing - the way Nat slowed herself by sliding down the panels so Antonia could catch up with her and she could deploy her parachute...

The vest survived the movie!!!

Fuuuuuck Ross is showing up and he sucks and I hate him and I’m super worried that he’s gonna take the vest from Nat if he takes her into custody. Please don’t let her lose the vest.

Okay, there is now zero reason for Nat to stay behind. They have an aircraft. She had plenty of time to just board it and leave?

-0-

Okay okay okay Ross did not get her and did not take the vest. But am I supposed to believe she bleached her hair, toned it blonde, and then re-bleached and re-toned it to silver? Who does that? That would be terrible for her hair. Her scalp would be burned all to hell from the amount of chemicals needed to not only get all that red out but THEN get the blonde toner out. Y’know what color silver toner is? Blue/purple. Y’know what happens when you mix that with yellow? Green. And not a nice green either (I speak from experience). No. Her hair at the end of the movie? Cancelled.

-0-

SHE GOT THE DOG!!!

Oh, ouch. Big ouch. I hurt like a lot now. This is so not an okay way to end the -

...

Countess I-Forgot-Your-Name-Already?

Oh no. Oh no. That’s worse. That’s a lot worse. We are now setting up the Hawkeye series and I while I’m horrified that this was how they ended the film, I gotta say that’s going to make for some wonderful angst in that series on both Clint and Yelena’s parts and I am here for it!

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I really, really enjoyed this movie, I thought the story was compelling, the stunts were really excellent, and I liked the character dynamics and the twist

I did not like the ending - it just sort of fell off quickly and didn’t feel satisfying after an otherwise really fun movie. I also take issue with the hair and makeup as shown among the characters, as seen in my several rants to that effect.

I would have liked to have seen a few more childhood/training flashbacks, and absolutely would have loved a cameo from Jeremy Renner (not just his voice) and to see him and Nat meeting and him giving her the whole dad speech that he does so well - bonus points if she could have then quoted him to Yelena or Antonia, showing the way that multiple people had a formative effect on her (an answer to the “The Avengers aren’t really your family either” comment).

#BlackWidowSpoilers #Black Widow Spoilers #Beth Liveblogs Black Widow

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mintyamphibian · 4 years ago

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Treasure Hunt

Her bare feet trailed across the fresh, lush, grass, cracking the small twigs in her way, without even so much as flinching, as she excitedly ran with arms extended behind her, soaking in the warm sun.

"Come on, come on!" - Her tiny and full freckled face lit up in an eager smile as she looked behind her to the other girl, who, in contrast, walked with slow and timid steps.

The little freckled one bounced in place in an impatient wait, with an impatient smile.

Her friend walked shyly with her dress grazing on the dirt and grass.

As soon as she got to the point where her friend bounced in wait, the process repeated. The freckled one guided the other, running a few steps ahead, braids floating freely in the wind and then waiting for the other little girl to catch up.

It took a while but eventually, the pair stopped their tracks under a big and bulky tree, tall and wide, with its massive roots curling into the soil.

The entire atmosphere had changed. The lush limes and warm yellow tint across the view had changed the deeper they had gone, replaced by dusky dark greens and navy shadows.

"It's here, isn't it?! " - the freckled child turned to her friend with a loud and proud grin.

In return, she got a slow but firm nod from the pale, misty-eyed girl. Without any sound, the girl sat upon the moist dirt letting her dress drape over her legs and the floor, uncaring about its cleanliness.

Her lips parted with no sound, mouthing to the freckled one a single word - "dig." - And she showed her a clumsy and crooked but innocent smile.

The small one nodded back, lowering herself and beginning the task at hand, trying to keep her dangling braids out of the way.

This was their thing.

The damp dirt got under her tiny nails, stained her small kiddy hands which never stopped moving in their determined digging, clawing at the dirt and mud.

She never once glanced at the other girl, she was completely focused on her duty.

And there it was. A little white shard., rough and funny shaped.

She felt like an archaeologist, a historian, There was a rush of pride and admiration.

"This one is small!"

Another lovely smile.

And the long-haired, long dress girl nodded but didn't say a word.

"Is tomorrow's bigger?

The girl shook her head and her long dark haired swayed with it.

And the freckled one bit her lip in thought.

"Hmmm… the first one was the coolest yet! Are they all this small? "

Another shake of the head.

"I hope the big ones are soon!"

The two children smiled at each other.

She dusted off the small irregular shard on her little dress and tucked it in her pocket, amidst the grey rocks she'd picked earlier.

"Is that all today?"- She bounced from side to side on one foot as she wiped her dirty hands on the fabric of her outfit, even across the embroidered letters spelling "Victoria".

The other girl nodded once more, causing the small freckled Victoria to brush her tongue against the gap of her teeth - "can I visit you later?"

The silent child shook her head vehemently.

It caused a huff from the impatient little girl-" you always say no! When can I visit you?"

But all the other did was shrug and mouth -"Later."

And Victoria's eyes first widened, then squinted - "But you said I couldn't!" - She giggled - "You're confusing!"

The silent girl's expression remained unchanged, she got up as well, adjusting her dress with no attempt of cleaning it

She mouthed - "More later."

Despite the annoyed huff and kiddish pout, Victoria relented - "Alright!" - And swayed on her feet, left, right, left, right - "My mummy's gonna get mad I dirtied my dress again! She says it's very hard to wash! ...She also says not to come here even though I told her I came to play with a friend because it's dark and dangerous but I'm a big girl …I haven't shown her the treasures because my mum isn't much of a historian like you and me!...And you said to not. "

The other girl listened, blinking with an unchanging face as she did so, agreeing at the end with a slow nod.

"You're lucky your mummy lets you get your dresses all dirty like that! Do you think I can meet her, your mummy?

A slow shake of the head.

Victoria bounced back. -" Not even when I visit you? More later?"

For once the other girl tilted her head in deep thought, which resulted in a shrug.

Victoria pouted with half-lidded eyes, looking deep into the girl's misty ones. The dark-haired lass turned her head away.

Victoria knew she didn't like it when her eyes were stared at.

She was weird but fun.

Her friend was confusing but fun!

"You're confusing!"

The silent girl did not react.

"So you have to go?"

She then nodded.

"Ok!" - Victoria said waving at her friend.

They went opposite ways.

They lived in opposite places.

Victoria went to the lush limes and warm yellow where they'd come from in an energetic sprint and the dark-haired little girl walked in slow steps, further into the murky greens of their destination.

Of course, they had to play there! It's where Beth's house was! The only word she'd ever heard the girl say in her tiny and shy voice was her name.

But Victoria knew Beth lived there, she'd asked!

Well more like guessed...And she got a nod in return.

It was a quick run home. As soon her little hand grabbed the golden doorknob she opened the wooden front door that let out a creak.

"Mummy, mummy! I'm home!" - Victoria announced in her childish tone.

Soon her mother rushed to her, like mother like daughter. The same freckled face and sunny smile. A joint warm hug.

Her mum gave the best hugs.

"Victoria! You're all muddy! Were you playing in the woods again?" - her voice wasn't all that sunny now, it just reeked of concern.

"Sorry mummy!" - The freckled child apologised with a not so remorseful giggle.

"You know I've told you not to play in the woods! I'll have to ground you like this!"

That did the trick - "Nooo! I was just playing with Beth!" - Her mothers face turned rigid like stone.

Mummy didn't like Beth. Victoria didn't know why but she always said not to play with her.

But what of it? Beth was fun! And nice! They had loads of fun together!

Her mother's eyes met hers. Serious, cold,...she didn't like mummy With those eyes and hands gripped tightly on her shoulders.

"Honey… I've told you before. I don't want you playing with…. Beth. I get a bad feeling from it. You two should not be playing there."

The child protested-" But Beth lives there!"

Her mum's face turned even more frigid, her eyes shined with an emotion Victoria couldn't quite put her finger on but she swore the hands gripped on her shoulders, trembled.

"I know she does."

Was she scared?

Victoria wasn't scared.

She stared at her mum in confusion, tilting her head slightly.

Then her mum sighed heavily - "Alright…go on we'll talk about this later ...I'll heat up a bath."

As soon as she was free Victoria ran into her room, bare soles tapping against the wooden floor.

Her hands buried in the pocket of her dress, fumbling through the rocks.

Then her tiny fingers grasped the small irregular shard.

For a second her mind jumped to showing her mum the cool treasure, even if her mum wasn't a historian like her but she soon remembered Beth's face when once she'd suggested it, shaking her head violently, with bulging eyes, full of fear.

She didn't get it, mummy wasn't scary but… She did as Beth wished.

So instead she took the small rough shard out and wiped it against her dress once more and stared at it.

What a small one this time.

Opening the wooden drawer she looked at her collection. It really, was the smallest one yet, she stored it carefully amidst the other treasures and pretty fabrics and took her favourite out.

Bigger and round, she traced its contours with her childish fingers.

Two circles.

A triangle.

Funny zig zags.

Rough and off-white, the dirt still climbed onto its crevices. It was just a little bigger than her head. So this was what was inside of there...

Beth had said - "skull" - this one, this one was her favourite, of all the treasures Beth had led her too, and the first one as well.

She stored it again, making sure to fit it under the fabrics. Mummy couldn't see this one, that was the one that got Beth to shake her head like that.

She didn't want her mum to take it away, so, for now, it stayed there, with all the other treasures.

She wondered what tomorrow's was. She hoped it was cooler somehow.

#writebrl #my writing #writing #short story #drabble #prose writing

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miasswier · 5 years ago

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miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 5

5: Theatricality

Written by: Ryan Murphy Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Overall Thoughts: For a really, really long time this was my absolute favourite episode of all time. It’s still high up there, but unlike most people I actually really enjoyed the last two seasons of Glee, so this episode got bumped down a bit. Still, there is very little I don’t like about this episode. It manages to give several characters’ stories while still focusing on the main two stories of the episode. Unlike “Dream On”, I didn’t feel like I was watching a show about Finn, Rachel, Kurt, and Shelby. I felt like I was watching Glee.

What I Like:

Figgins thinking vampires are real and talking about how they need to keep vampirism out of McKinley.

Tina looking interested when Puck says “Catholic school girl”

“Happy meal, no onions. Or a chicken”

Kurt getting so excited over Lady Gaga. Oh, honey <3

“You don’t need an appointment at super-cuts. They love walk-in’s” CLAPBACK OF THE CENTURY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (this line makes me die of laughter every fucking time like oh my god Karofksy you are so genuinely stupid)

The Lady Gaga outfits!!!! Even Rachel’s original one, which I find hilarious and way more fitting for her personality than the one she gets later

“You look terrible. I look awesome”

“You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She’s a girl!” “Okay, fine, Jackie Daniels”

Shelby being honest with Rachel when she realized that she made a mistake by contacting her and that this wasn’t what she really wanted. I appreciate when characters can be honest when they mess up, even if it hurts them and other people.

Rachel being honest as well and admitting that she doesn’t feel that mother-daughter bond she always dreamed of with Shelby. I wish they’d gone a little deeper into this, but I’m still glad they mentioned it at all. Especially when Shelby says that it was when Rachel told her about her dad’s and how they would bring her water when she was sad. Shelby isn’t her mom, and it was silly for both of them to expect that. Rachel doesn’t have a mom – she has two dads. While I’m glad they explored the “where I come from” aspect of this, I’m also glad that they didn’t turn it into “I feel more connected to you because of biology than I do to my fathers who raised me”.

THAT WHOLE SCENE WITH KURT AND FINN AND BURT IN THE BASEMENT. There is so much I love about that scene. I could write an essay on that scene and how important it is. That scene literally defined Glee for me for so long. I’m so glad they did that scene.

Okay, I know it’s an insult and homophobic and gross but when Azimio says “being in football and being in Glee doesn’t make you versatile – it makes you bisexual” I always burst out laughing like oh my god I don’t know why I find that so funny.

Finn standing up for Kurt at the end. I will say though that, while I enjoy this, there are some things that I wish had been included as well, which I’ll talk more about later.

Artie and Mike being lil cuties and actually cheering for the girls and being super encouraging in their performance. Considering Artie was always portrayed as the most misogynistic of the guys, he actually is one of the few that openly and genuinely encourages the girls in their performances every fucking time.

Finn actually getting to react to seeing Puck and Quinn talk about the baby!!!!! That’s always been my biggest pet peeve – Finn literally thought he was going to be a father and that got ripped away from him, and he wasn’t ever shown to be angry about that. It was always just “oh boo-hoo Quinn cheated on me and Puck is my best friend woe is me” when really he should be mourning the loss of a child he thought was his, but then learnt was not. Like… I don’t know. Seeing him awkwardly look away reminds everyone that he genuinely thought that baby was his, and now he can’t go through this with Quinn. He’s obviously upset about it. Even though he’s a dink in this episode I still feel bad for him about this.

Will going to the effort to look into Lady Gaga and actually getting excited about her.

What I Don’t:

I already said this, but Finn is a dink in this episode. He’s getting bullied by Karofksy and Azimio, and instead of calling them out on being homophobic and sexist and engaging in toxic masculinity, he just falls into it. He turns that abuse onto Kurt, who he clearly thinks is the one who deserves the abuse. And like, I don’t get why he’s so freaked out around Kurt. Yeah, it’s obvious that Kurt has a crush on him, but when has he ever tried to make a blatant, obvious move (kiss him, touch him, grab him, etc)? When has he given Finn any reason to be worried about changing around him, or even just sharing a room with him? It’s homophobia and toxic masculinity at it’s finest. Add the whole “I don’t wanna do Gaga cause I’m a Man” bullshit that’s thrown into this episode and it’s just a mess. While I’m happy they had Finn stand up for Kurt at the end and wear the Lady Gaga outfit, it still took him being told by an older, straight man that he was being a piece of shit and homophobic and offensive and gross for him to realize what was happening. Plus, I don’t think they gave Finn enough of a chance to really redeem himself. I mean, come on, it’s really easy to say sorry and put on an outfit; actually changing your attitude is more of an uphill battle. I wish they’d re-visited this more at a later date (though not in the way they did in “Duets” when Kurt brings it up and it somehow turns on Kurt and makes Finn look like the victim which……. Fuck off)

Will being the one to tell Shelby what she needs to do with Rachel.

Will agreeing with Finn about how they always do what the girls want when the girls literally always get sidelined. Literally fuck off. I can’t stand this “boo hoo my masculinity is too fragile to perform a song by a theatrical woman I need to perform a manly song instead” “you’re right, I’ve been turning this Boys Club into a Girls Club. Time to take our manhood back!” Ew.

Finn, Puck and Matt not being supportive of the girls when they performed their awesome Gaga number. I feel like this show did that a lot – the guys don’t understand a performer, so they don’t encourage their teammates. Then, when they do a number, the girls are super supportive and encouraging. It’s annoying.

Okay, even though Finn is a dink in this episode, I still think that they shouldn’t have told him about moving in with Burt and Kurt like that. This decision affects him too – Carole should have sat him down and asked him what he wanted to do, and if they disagreed then figured out how they could come up with a compromise.

Also, yet another missed opportunity for bi!Finn! This whole episode could have been an awesome way to show internalized homophobia, especially with that line at the end where Finn is like “I am different”. But whatever.

“My dad’s can’t sow. I really need a mom right now” I mean, not every woman knows how to sow, Rachel. You clearly don’t know how to sow. Why would you assume that just because she’s technically a mother that Shelby knows how to sow?

Songs:

Funny Girl: While Idina Menzel sounds amazing in this, I find it boring and too long. It’s emotional because of Rachel, but whenever Rachel isn’t on screen I lose interest.

Bad Romance: An amazing number!!! I love when they do actual group numbers, where a bunch of them get solo lines. I think everyone except Rachel and Brittany sing in this one, which is amazing! Plus the costumes and the choreography is awesome! My only gripe is changing “I’m a free bitch, baby” to “I’m a freak, baby”, which I don’t understand cause they say the word “bitch” on Glee all the time (they literally sing a song titled “Bitch” like come on).

Shout It out Loud: An entertaining performance that is all too forgettable. I honestly can’t remember most of what happened in it, and I literally just watched it.

Beth: This song always brings tears to my eyes. It’s such an emotional moment, and the song is so melancholy. Plus Puck sounds amazing (and while I understand why the put Finn’s verse in there I still lowkey wish it had been a Puck solo).

Poker Face: I have never liked this version of the song, and I probably never will. I don’t think it transfers well to acoustic at all. I honestly cringe a little listening to it because the lyrics and the melody just don’t match up. I strongly dislike this song. No thanks.

Final Thoughts: While I wish they had gone further on a few elements, overall this episode is really strong. It’s funny (a lot of great one-liners), it’s emotional, and (with a few exceptions) has really good music. It’s definitely my favourite episode of season one, and I’ve watched it as a stand-alone more times than I can count. I really, really like this episode.

#ultimate glee ranking

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cruesixxlover1991 · 5 years ago

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Slice Of Your Pie

Ch. 2 Red Hot

A/N: Hey you guys! Sorry it’s been awhile since I posted a new chapter. It was a super crazy busy week at work and by the time I got home I had no energy left to post. I also realize I forgot to put a summary of the story for chapter 1 as well, my bad you guys. If anyone wants to be added to the taglist for this story, please send me an ask. Now, enough of me babbling, let’s get on with this crazy love story.

Word Count: 3k

Triggers: Mentions of drug use and drug overdose, and language.

Summary: Veronica “Ronnie” Halliwel is a 22 year old rhythm guitarist who has been lookg for a new band ever since her last band ended after the tragic heroin overdose of their lead singer, Marie Dawson. She returned to work at her local Denny’s to make ends for her and her daughter, Alannah. Her luck changes when her uncle, Mick Mars, infamous guitarist for Motley Crue, comes to Ronnie with the offer of a lifetime: To become Motley Crue’s new rhythm guitarist. Ronnie jumps at the opportunity and also happens to catch the eyes of a certain bass player, who instantly falls for her insane beauty and absolute I don’t give a fuck attitude. Ronnie finds herself drawn to Nikki as well, but what she doesn’t know is the crazy road of decadence, chaos, and sex, drugs, and rock and roll that Nikki takes her on? Join Ronnie on this crazy journey as she finds true love amidst the chaos of her rock and roll lifestyle. Even if that love may very well end up being the death of her.

Taglist: @beachystars @putbloghere @riverhaim1980 @nikkisixxwiththebass

@kat-976

1983

I was barely able to sleep that night due to my mind racing with excitement at the thought of meeting with Uncle Mick and the rest of the Crue the next afternoon. What if the rest of them didn't like my playing? Finally after awhile, i pushed the covers aside and got out of bed, knowing that sleep just wasn't going to happen. I grabbed my guitar and made my way to the living room. I quietly started to strum the chords to one my old songs, Misery Business(I'll be using Paramore songs for the She-Wolves). I close my eyes and let the music take me over. I start remembering performing this song for the first time and let myself smile at the memory.

Flashback, Whisky A Go-Go 1978

My heart was beating crazily in my chest as I sat in front of the vanity in my dressing room at the Whisky, getting ready for our first performance ever as a band.We had played at parties and smaller venues but nothing to this extent before. We had been putting up fliers all over the sunset strip all week, hoping to build a decent crowd for tonight. I looked over at Lyssa, watching her twirl her drumsticks in her hand and bounce up and down excitedly in her chair as she grinned at herself in the mirror. I always loved Lyssa's high energy, it was the first thing the drew us towards when looking for a drummer. A little bit further down our lead guitarist, Samantha, sitting there with a serious expression on her face as she plucked some chords on her guitar. Marie, our lead singer and my best friend, was sat right next to me, putting the finishing touches on her winged eye-liner and smirking at her reflection. We heard a knock on the door and turned our heads and told them to enter. Our manager, Beth Greene,(Did y'all see what I did there? Lolz) poked her head in the door and smiled at all of us, "Girls! Five minutes to show time!!!" We all stood up, Samantha and myself grabbing our guitars, Lyssa still twirling her drumsticks, and Marie smirking at herself one last time in the mirror before we all walked out of the dressing room and towards the stage. We all walked to our respective spots on the stage, taking in a deep breath as Marie tapped our set list to the side of the amp, walking back to her microphone, "Hey LA!!! Are you ready to rock and roll??? We are The She-Wolves and this song right here is called Misery Business!!!" The crowd went crazy as the lights come on and Samantha went into the beginning riff of Misery Business and Marie began to sing the lyrics:I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top

She's got a body like an hourglass that's ticking like a clock

It's a matter of time before we all run out

When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth

I waited eight long months

She finally set him free

I told him I couldn't lie, he was the only one for me

Two weeks and we had caught on fire

She's got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile

Whoa, well I never meant to brag

But I've gotten what I wanted now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God does it feel so good

'Cause I got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

'Cause God it just feels so

It just feels so good

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change

Once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change

And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged

I'm sorry honey, I passed out, now look this way

Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you

Looking as innocent as possible to get to who

They want and what they like, it's easy if you do it right

Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!

Whoa, well I never meant to brag

But I've gotten what I wanted now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God does it feel so good

'Cause I got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

'Cause God it just feels so

It just feels so good

I watched his wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving you

Just watch my wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving

Whoa, well I never meant to brag

But I got him where I want him now

Whoa, well I never meant to brag

But I've gotten what I wanted now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God does it feel so good

'Cause I got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

'Cause God it just feels so

It just feels so good

Marie belts out the final note and the crowd goes even wilder and begins to chant out our name. I couldn't believe how amazing this felt. I had never felt anything close to this performing before and it was absolutely addicting. It was from that moment forward that I knew that this would be my true calling, what I was meant to do for the rest of my life. I knew that nothing would ever come close to the absolute thrill and rush of performing in front of a crowd, the vibe and energy were absolutely unreal. We all looked at each other and smiled as we began our next song, Crushcrushcrush........

End Of Flashback

I smirk as the memory fades and I place the guitar down on the couch next to me. That was without a doubt the greatest night of my life, next to the night Alannah was born of course. . I will never forget the rush adrenaline going through as we performed that night. It was the thing I had missed the most, that rush and feeling like your on the absolute top of the world and nothing could bring you down. There was absolutely nothing that came close to it. I grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and laid down, finally feeling relaxed enough to sleep. I remember as I was finally slipping to the dark abyss of sleep having a feeling that tomorrow would absolutely change my life forever and I couldn't wait to go on this crazy new adventure and finally fulfill my dreams of becoming a rock star. I expected the journey to be crazy but nothing could prepare me for the absolute insane train-wreck of debauchery and decadence that motley crue would take me on. Especially a particular bassist, who would become not only become my best friend but would eventually worm his way into my heart and become the love of my life as well. And this here, is where our love story truly begins.

The next day couldn't go by fast enough for me. It felt as if time was purposely going by slowly just to screw with me that day. It also didn't help that it was a particularly slow day at the diner for once, which was really unusual for a Friday afternoon. I kept drumming my fingers against the counter top, staring at the clock as it tortuously moved ever so slowly. It had been over thirty minutes since my last customer had left and I was bored out of my mind. I mean, a girl can only clean the same tables so many times before she loses it, right? I jumped up when I heard the bell on the door go off as a customer walked in. It was an elderly gentlemen. I walked over to him, got him sat at his table, handed him a menu, got his drink order, an walked away to give him time to decided what he wanted. I brought over his coffee, put in his lunch order, which was a turkey sandwich and bowl of chili, and waited for our cook, Lauren, to complete his order. Once his meal was ready I brought it to him and offered to refill his coffee. He sat there and read the paper as he ate his lunch. Once he finished, he paid his bill and left me a generous ten dollar type, which totally made my day. Once I cleared off his table and brought his dishes to the back to be washed, I looked up at the clock and it was finally time for me to get off work and go pick up Alannah from school. I smiled to myself as I walked to the back, hung up my apron and walked out the back door to my car. I remember the car ride to pick up Alannah being a blur as all I could think about was how my excitement rose the closer I got to my meeting with the boys. I picked her up from school and rushed home so I could change and start getting ready.

I rushed up to the apartment door to unlock it, rushing inside and to my bedroom to change out of my work uniform. I chose a cheap trick crop top, black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and doc martens as my outfit. I fixed my makeup in my vanity mirror and put my hair in my signature ponytail. I smile at myself in the mirror, loving how my look turned out. I walk out to the living room and check on Alannah, seeing her working on her homework at the coffee table. I grab my keys off the side table by the couch and look at Alannah, letting her know it's time to go to the meeting. She jumps up from the floor and starts following me to the door. We get in the car and head to the studio. My heart started beating wildly in my chest from the excitement I felt. I couldn't stop smiling the entire car ride there. This was an absolutely amazing opportunity and I planned to take full advantage of it. I squealed to myself as we pulled into the parking lot, my excitement overwhelming me for a moment. I couldn't believe the moment was finally here. I grabbed Alannah's hand and walked into the lobby of the studio, going to the front desk to find out where we needed to go. I let the pretty brunette receptionist know my name and she immediately called upstairs to let my Uncle Mick know I was here so he could head down to the lobby to come get us. We waited a few minute until we head the ding of the elevator and looked over to see Uncle Mick making his way towards us. We both got up and ran to him so we could wrap him up in a hug. It had been a couple months since we had last seen him and we had missed him dearly. He chucked and looked down at us "God it's so good to see both of my girls, I have missed you guys so much!!!!" We finally let him and he put his arm around my shoulder as he lead me and Alannah up to the studio. We made idle chat and caught up with one another as we waited for the elevator to take us to the proper floor. The elevator finally stopped and we made our way out as the doors opened.

We followed Uncle Mick as he lead us through the hallways to motley's studio. We kept walking fora few more minutes until we finally got to a door that said: Motley Crue recording in Progress. Uncle Mick opened the door and we walked in the room, the other three band members stopping their conversation and turning around to face us. . I saw smiles appear on all of their faces as they looked me up and down, especially Nikki, bassist and primary songwriter for the band. Uncle Mick introduced me to each member, starting with Vince, who tried to wiggle his eyes suggestively as I shook his hand, than Tommy, who had the biggest smile on his face and exuded the most amazing energy. I instantly loved his vibe, it reminding me of Lyssa's insane energy. God, those two would be perfect for each other if they met. Last but certainly not least, we finally got to Nikki, who had the biggest smirk on his face as we walked his way. I finally took the time to get a good look at him and my god, I couldn't believe how absolutely gorgeous he was. His black hair was teased to absolute perfect, sticking up in every direction, black liner lined his gorgeous emerald green eyes, he wore a black leather jacket with leather pants and a black shirt that Fuck on the front of it. To say that I was awestruck would have been the understatement of the fucking century. I remember him taking my hand in his and bringing it to his plush pink lips so he could place a soft kiss to the back of it and winked at me as Uncle Mick introduce us, making a soft pink blush rush to my cheeks. Looking back at it now, I should've known than and there that he would be trouble but by god I just couldn't bring myself to care. All I knew is that the moment I looked into his eyes, I was absolutely done for and there was no going back. We all talked for awhile getting to know one another a little better, Alannah sitting in the corner coloring in the coloring book Mick had set up for her. After awhile, we all decided to start jamming and grabbed our instruments while Vince walked up to the mic. We had decided to play Red Hot a song of their new album. Uncle Mick took a minute to show me the riffs and we both began to jam together, Tommy joining in on the drums and Nikki following right behind on his bass. Vince began belting the lyrics into the microphone:

Fight for the black shark

See what evil brings

Can't you see we're out for blood?

Love from a shotgun

License to kill

Can't you see we're out for blood?

The kids scream in fright through the night

Loving every bite with delight

And we blow out our minds with your truth

And together we stand for the youth

Red Hot, red hot

To the top, we are

Red hot, shout at the devil

We've laughed at your wars

Can't you see we're out for blood?

Run with the pack, now

Always ask for more

Can't you see we're out for blood?

The kids scream in fright through the night

Loving every bite with delight

And we blow out our minds with your truth

And together we stand for the youth

Red Hot, red hot

To the top, we are

Red hot, shout at the devil

We've laughed at your wars

Can't you see we're out for blood?

Run with the pack, now

Always ask for more

Can't you see we're out for blood?

Red Hot, red hot

To the top, we are

Red hot, shout at the devil

We've laughed at your wars

Can't you see we're out for blood?

Run with the pack, now

Always ask for more

Can't you see we're out for blood?

Uncle Mick wailed out the final guitar riff as Vince belted out the final note. We all looked to each other and smirked. Our frist jam session together had been absolutely insane and we could all fee the chemistry between us. I had never felt anything like it, even when I was with the She-Wolves did I feel this type of magic. I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life. It was the moment I knew that I had finally found my band after having searched for so long and it was absolutely amazing. I remember looking around at all the guys and locking eyes with Nikki once again and smiling at him. He plastered his signature smirk on his face, put down his bass and began walking over to me. Once he reached me he wrapped his arms around me in a hug and looked down at me and said, "I know I speak for myself and everyone here when I say welcome to the band Ronnie Halliwel." My face broke out in a huge smile and I wrapped my arms around him and just kept shouting "Thank you. Thank you guys so much! I'm so excited to work with you guys!!!" I grabbed Alannah and swung her around in my arms, I hadn't bee this happy in so long. I couldn't believe my luck. I looked around the room one more time and locked eyes with Nikki once again. I smiled to myself and looked away. I couldn't wait to begin this crazy adventure and also to get to know Nikki better as well. Something told me he would be a huge part of my journey. Little did I know how right that would turn out to be.

#nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mick mars #motley crue #motely crue fan fiction #the dirt movie #the dirt book #the dirt fandom #motley crue fandom #heavy metal #1980s #rock and roll

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groggycascade · 6 years ago

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A Sister’s Awakening, a Brother’s Nightmare (Pt. II)

Continued from Pt. I. All credit to Sean D.

“Wham”

Jen felt a stinging sensation in her nose. She was stunned for a moment. She saw another fist fly at her. Instinctively she ducked. He missed her face that time. She quickly adjusted her stance and moved backwards. He was a head taller than her. She couldn’t help but be scared as he wound up for another punch.

Jen put into practice everything she had learned. When his fist came forward again, she moved to the side, grabbed his arm and used his momentum to throw him off balance. She then gave him a side knee to the ribs and then a punch to the face. This time it was his turn to stand there dazed.

His eyes were wide as he looked around to get his bearings. His stance was wide as he was trying to keep his balance.

Jen’s karate training was clear on this. Time to put her opponent out of commission. She wound her leg backwards as far as she could, and concentrating all of her strength into her right leg, she flung it forward as hard as she could.

The top of her foot sailed into the middle of the V shape made by his legs. The white cloth of his karate outfit bunched up as her foot pushed easily past it and onto her target.

“Thwap.” Came a loud noise that echoed across the dojo. Jen felt a sharp pain in the top of her foot as her foot met hard plastic. She could feel the plastic bend inwards though as the force of her kick lifted her large male opponent off of his legs. She couldn’t help but thrust her leg forward as high as she could, despite the pain, hoping to get her foot through the cup and to the soft target underneath.

As her foot came down, her opponent immediately fell to his knees. His hands went to his crotch and he looked up at her with this confused and dazed look. He felt around his crotch, as if to check that his balls were still there. Jen was surprised to see pain in his eyes. He looked surprised by the pain too.

She could see him fighting it, but inch by inch, he slouched forward. He started groaning and then fully went into a fetal position.

Jen stood there surprised by the whole situation, not knowing what to think. She felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked up, startled.

“Nice one!”

It was her friend Kate. She had a wide smile on her face. She patted Jen on the back. Other groups around her had stopped their sparring to see what was happening. Jen blushed at the attention.

Emily, the dojo sensei, came over. Despite being in her late ‘30s and herself a mother, Jen had the feeling like being in elementary school at the principal’s office, like she was about to get into trouble.

“He has a cup on,” she said defensively, pointing down at her opponent, who was rocking back and forth and still making pathetic wimpering sounds.

“It’s alright,” said Emily. “The cup isn’t a 100% guarantee that he’s not going to feel any pain. With a hard enough kick, it’s possible that enough pressure can be exerted to still make contact with the balls. And probably the vibration from the cup itself transmitted a certain amount of force.”

Emily saw Jen’s worried look and smiled. “Hey, you did what you had to do. You did what you were taught. You defended yourself. And beat your opponent.”

Cheers erupted from the growing number of other women that were huddling around the scene. “That’s right!” Said Kate. “You got him good girlfriend.”

“You did indeed,” said Emily. “He’s lucky this was just a sparring match and that he was wearing a cup. If this were real life and he wasn’t wearing a cup, and if you had shoes on, well, I think you could easily have ruptured both of his testicles.”

Kate whispered into her ear, “Oh well, too bad, maybe next time.” She winked.

Jen playfully pushed her friend away. “Oh come on, you’re terrible.”

Jen couldn’t help but continuing to think about the incident for the rest of the day. What was bothering her about it? She had this nagging sense of guilt. But why?

The next evening, the usual gang of friends came over for their book/movie night. There was Kate, with her daughter Hailey. Hailey and Sarah had been best friends for a while, and Kate and Jen had also become friends. Then Kate invited Jen to a book club with a group of ladies about 6 months back, and since then they had all become quite close. The theme of the book club was women’s empowerment. They worked their way through a number of books focused on dissecting the patriarchal power structures of society and discussed how they could empower themselves as women and their daughters. They also all joined karate, which is what they had been doing the night before.

“Hey Ms. G, heard you got a guy really good, right where it counts!” Said Hailey, laughing, as she entered the door.

“You heard about that?”

“Oh yeah. Of course! Mom and I had a great laugh talking about it!”

Kate giggled. “Well, maybe just a little.”

Sarah was waiting by the door to greet her best friend. Her eyes went wide. “Really mom? You kicked a guy in the nuts!? But you’ve always told me never to do that!”

“Well it was karate honey. It was self defence.”

Sarah didn’t looked convinced. She leered over at her brother, who was hanging back from the conversation, standing awkwardly in the corner. Jen could tell he was uncomfortable about the topic of conversation.

“Hear that Dougy?” You better not try anything, or maybe I’ll have to do some self defence of my own!” Feeling very uncomfortable, Doug left and went to his room.

The group of women sat around the living room and were on their second round of drinks. They had caught up with one another and shared the latest round of gossip. Jen was embarrassed that a major topic of conversation was her recent kicking of a guy in the groin.

“How’s the foot?” Kate asked jokingly.

“Actually, it’s a bit bruised on the top.” Said Jen. It actually did hurt quite a bit.

“Stupid cups,” another woman chimed in. “They ruin all the fun!”

All the ladies laughed heartedly.

“I suppose it would be hard to get men to come to the class voluntarily if they didn’t let them wear cups. Either that, or they wouldn’t be men for very long!”

They laughed again. Jen couldn’t help but laugh, even though she felt naughty for doing so.

“That brings us to our movie for tonight,” Said Kate, sounding more serious now. “It’s a documentary by avant-garde filmmaker Beth Walker. Unfortunately, it has received no support from the mainstream movie industry, which is typical, given that it’s ruled by our patriarchal system.

It’s called ‘Breaking the Family Jewels.”

There was a murmur if excitement from the ladies. They had all heard about it. It was a very controversial movie. Hailey and Sarah gleamed as they also joined the ladies to watch the movie. Kate had insisted.

The movie opened with two large, shiny jewels filling the screen. They glittered in the light as the camera moved slowly out. A woman’s narrating voice began speaking.

“The family jewels. Every girl learns growing up that her brother, cousin, classmate, has something that she doesn’t have. And no matter how smart, talented, or amazing she is, she’ll never have them. She can be an Olympic gold metallist...” the screen focused on the strong legs of an Olympic gymnast as she vaulted, to the cheers of thousands. “She can go to space. She can do any number of amazing things, but she’ll never have the family jewels. That is, unless she finds herself a man and marries in order to get some jewels of her own.”

“This is how our patriarchal system works ladies.” The diamonds still glittered in front of the camera, but now the narrator could be seen too, dangling them in her hand. “In this simple expression - used and known by all people in the world - we are summarizing an attitude that subjugates women.”

“And not only that. War. Violence. Crime.” Scenes of horrible violence filled the screen. “These all stem from these little jewels.”

The movie went on to develop the theory that testosterone in males is the primary cause of most of the world’s problems. It really wasn’t a hard case to make, thought Jen. It all made so much sense when someone actually just laid it out factually. Testosterone, the drive for sex and power, it’s what drove men to do terrible things.

“But what if things could be different?” Asked the narrator. “Well, we don’t have to imagine it. History is full of examples that prove that societies are better off when they break the family jewels.”

The movie delved into the story of the Amazons, the ancient group of warrior women, who defeated their male opponents and built a successful society that lasted hundreds of years. Historians were interviewed who pieced together the archaeological and written records. It made the case that the Amazons reproduced using selected males for reproduction, and all other men in their society were castrated. Castration ceremonies would be done after they won a battle, and would be done annually. When males reached a certain age of maturity, it would be decided if they would be breeding stock or not. If not, then they would be castrated in a large and public annual ceremony. Jen was shocked to learn that castration didn’t have to just mean the cutting off of the male genitalia.

“Based on our best evidence,” Said one researcher, “the Amazons typically preferred to crush the testicles in order to turn the man into a eunuch. This was more practical, as cutting could have easily led to infection and then death. Whereas if you crushed them, it’s possible that the body would naturally get rid of the... uh, remnants...” all the ladies in the room laughed. “...All the nutmeat, for lack of a better word, would naturally dissolve over time. And if it didn’t, or there were signs of infection, then a small incision could be made and the contents could easily be squeezed out, and then the sack could be sown back up.”

The narrator asked, “Wouldn’t this process have been extremely painful?”

“Oh, without a doubt, it would have been the most excruciating thing a man could ever feel. It certainly would have made him wish he were born a woman!” Said the researcher, breaking into laughter with the narrator.

The movie went on to cover other ancient societies and their use of eunuchs. It made the case that eunuchs were not created as some sort of punishment, although sometimes it was the case, but they actually had a very useful role for society. China’s prosperity for thousands of years was due in large part to its use of eunuchs. What was missing, argued the film, was the additional step of putting women in charge. If most men were made into eunuchs, and only women were allowed into positions of authority, there would be a ying and yang balance that would lead to harmony.

“But we don’t only need to look to the past. There is evidence in our modern society.” Said the narrator.

The film covered a research study group of castrated males over a period of two years. The men all had different ways they had become eunuchs. The movie covered each story. Some were accidents - a motorcycle crash, a skate boarder, a man who fell from his roof and directly onto his fence. With one leg on either side of the fence, the fence broke his fall - and his balls. The movie did a dramatization of each castration and the ladies laughed it up.

Particularly amazing, though, were the non-accidental castrations. One guy admitted to touching a woman inappropriately at a bar, and she turned around and kneed him so hard that she immediately exploded his left nut.

“I heard this popping sound,” the guy said. “And I couldn’t believe it was coming from between my legs.” The ladies in the room all laughed really loud and cat called. Jen smiled but was surprised at their casual reactions to a guy losing a testicle.

“I know she heard it too,” the guy continued. “Her knee was still between my leg, and I know she could feel she had popped it.”

“How do you know?” Asked the narrator.

“Believe me, she had this wicked smile on her face. She knew. And she knew she had me beat. When she released her knee, all I wanted to do was crumble to the floor. But she pushed my shoulders up against the wall. And she kneed me again, and then again, and over and over...” The man was sobbing now as he recounted his own castration for a worldwide audience. “I lost count. I just remember wishing, “God, make this stop.” And then came a crunch sound. And the worst pain of my life. And at that moment, my life changed forever.”

The movie made clear that a court had found the woman not guilty of any crime, as she had acted in self defence. The man was pleading his case to the world, in the hopes they would see that she had went beyond self defence. That she had intentionally castrated him when she didn’t have to. Little did he know that the audience of his film could have cared less. They all would have done exactly the same thing to him.

Jen shifted uncomfortably as all the women, including her own daughter, laughed. Would she have castrated that man? She just didn’t know.

The next intentional castration was of a random, completely innocent guy just walking down the street. He was just minding his own business, walking on the sidewalk, when a tall blond woman wearing sunglasses, a mini skirt, and big, large leather boots was walking the other direction.

“Out of nowhere, I see this blur as her leg shoots up towards me. I have no idea what is happening. Then I’m completely lifted off the ground. And I look down and realize that her boot is lodged between my legs. There was this sickening sound.”

“Can you describe it?” Asked the narrator.

“I don’t know... it was like a “squick” sound.”

“Oh my God, I’m gonna be sick,” Said the man, as he moved his head off screen and threw up. Just the memory of both of his nuts exploding at the same time was enough to make him sick. After he finished vomiting, the camera panned out as he lay on the ground shivering, re-living his traumatic ordeal.

“Wow, she clearly did a number on you,” Said the narrator.

The woman who kicked him was never found.

Jen couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy, although technically he wasn’t a guy anymore. A woman in her group though said “Meh, I’m sure he did something in his life to deserve it! And if not, too bad!” The women all laughed again.

The movie went on to cover the lives of the men after their castrations. It showed that after two years, all of their lives had turned around. They were doing better in all areas of their lives. Interviews with their female relatives, friends, coworkers found that they were much more sensitive and they contributed well to the successes of their families, teams, companies, etc. Although without their testosterone, they tended to shy away from male-dominated environments and they did better working with females.

“Ok, but you’re probably asking yourself, how practical is this? It’s not like we can just castrate all - or most men. Right?” She winked at the screen.

“There are a number of ways society could organize itself around that method,” said a sociologist. “Standardized tests, meeting a number of various physical criteria, behavioural tests, a number of ways could be used to determine which males would be castrated.”

And how would it be carried out? Asked the narrator. Who would do it?

The video showed clips of three different female researchers as they laughed at the question. “Well, I don’t think that would be a problem. There would certainly be no shortage of women willing to carry out the sentence.” The women in the room all yelled and laughed.

“Sign me up!” They said

“You could have a lottery... you could award the right to castrate to women who have excelled in certain areas, such as on standardized tests... or you could give the right to decide to the nearest female relative of the male.”

“Oh, imagine that!” Said Hailey to Sarah. “You could order the execution of your brother’s balls!” The two girls laughed hysterically.

Jen was taken aback. Imagine she or her daughter were put in a position where she had to decide who would castrate her own son?

“Ok, but pending some tidal wave in progressive feminists being elected to Congress and changing the laws, this system isn’t something we’re going to see overnight.” Said the narrator.

“So does that mean we just give up?”

“No!” Yelled the women.

The video went to a female biologist. “Well, let’s not forget just how painful a kick to the balls is. Short of more extreme measures, even just a simple kick will cause debilitating pain that can cause a man to think twice about his behaviour.”

The movie went on to explain what happens from even minor impact with the testicles. The number of nerve endings, the coursing of pain through the abdomen, the spasm of muscles.

“There was this researcher named Pavlov, and he found a simple but effective way to control behaviour,” said the narrator. The movie explained how repeated and regular kicks, hits, squeezes to the gonads could dramatically reshape a male’s personality and his behaviour.

“Every woman watching this video can recall a time when she dramatically changed a male’s behaviour by kicking him in the balls. Think of that schoolyard bully who was convinced to stop harassing you after your sneaker met his balls. Or the guy who’s unwanted attention led to him writhing on the floor. And if he saw you again, he crossed the street.”

All the women laughed as they remembered their own ballbusting experiences. Jen was guilty to admit that she fondly remembered just such a time from when she was younger.

As the film concluded, it laid out the type of male behaviour that should lead to “corrective” action. There were the obvious: violence, unwanted sexual attention. But it also laid out others. Male consumption of pornography, especially if degrading to women, should be punished. A male questioning the opinion of a woman, should be punished. The film even advocated for random kicks to the balls, done for no reason other than female enjoyment and to remind the male of his place.

The film panned onto the diamonds from the beginning of the film. “In this film, we’ve seen what a ridiculous notion are the ‘family jewels’. Rather than being the strong, solid foundation of society. They are a weak facade on which patriarchy bases its power. And you know what ladies? Just like the myth of the family jewels is not real, neither are these diamonds. These are just cheap knock offs.”

With dramatic effect, she placed the two fake diamonds on the hardwood floor. Her beautiful legs and high heels entered the shot. The stiletto heels of her black heels positioned themselves over the fake diamonds.

“Crush them! Crush them!” Yelled the women.

All of the weight of the stillettos came down onto the diamonds. Everyone held their breath. One second. Two seconds... then CRUSH. The left diamond exploded outward. One second, two seconds later... then the right one exploded. The stiletto heels ground into the remnants of the diamonds. Methodically crushing all their little bits into a fine dust.

The movie ended.

The women all clapped. Then they discussed the movie. It was clear to Jen that they were all in strong agreement with it.

“The question is how we start implementing this in our daily lives,” said Kate.

The women all agreed.

“Well most men are so embarrassed when they get kicked in the balls that they’re unlikely to report it,” said one of the women. The others nodded.

“And if they want to, you just make it clear that they won’t be men for much longer if they do!” Said Kate.

Jen was clearly reluctant. But as they talked through all of the arguments in the movie, she had to admit she agreed with all of them. She just wasn’t entirely comfortable yet.

“How did it feel when you busted that guy in karate?” Asked Kate.

“Pretty damn awesome!” Jen had to admit. They all laughed.

Sarah and Hailey looked at each other and had a great idea. They disappeared from the room and went upstairs. A minute later, Jen heard a loud commotion, and then a bunch of feet stampeding down the stairs. There was Doug being shoved into the room by Hailey and Sarah.

“Wha... what?” Asked Doug. “I wasn’t doing anything!”

“Yeah right!” Said Sarah. She displayed Doug’s laptop for all the room to see. They gasped.

Doug had been watching some pretty hard core pornography. Jen was disgusted. She had to look away. She was also so embarrassed.

She composed herself and approached Doug. “How could you? That kind of smut? It’s so degrading to women! Do you really think so little of women? Of all of us?” She pointed to all the room. “You think so little of me?”

Doug stammered but didn’t know what to say. He was embarrassed beyond words.

“I know for a fact that creepy little Dougy watches this stuff all the time. Just look at his search history.”

His search history was full of smut.

Jen became enraged.

“Well,” Said Kate, stepping forward. “I think this is a perfect way to start putting our new manifesto into action.”

Sarah and Hailey gleamed at eachother.

“What do you mean?” Asked Jen.

“Well, he’s clearly broken the rules. And it’s clear what needs to happen next. We need to alter his behaviour.”

Jen stood for a minute pondering. She concluded that her friend was right. “You’re right, I don’t see any other way.” She looked at Doug.

Doug backed away and put his hands up defensively. He didn’t know what was going on but he knew it was no good for him.

“Look,” Said Sarah. “I have proof that kicking Doug in the balls will work. Look at his search history. You see this week-long gap of almost no usage about three weeks ago? Well, that was right after I kicked Doug in the balls. Really hard.” She winked and smiled at her brother. “Remember that brother?”

Doug’s hands instinctively went to his crotch. Jen was taken aback. “You did what?” But she realized she wasn’t angry. Not like she would have been. In fact now she was proud of her daughter.

“Hmm... seems you were only doing what I should have done a long time ago. I’m sorry I didn’t honey.” She said to her daughter.

“It’s alright mom! We can make up for lost time.”

“We sure can.”

“Doug, spread your legs.” Doug looked horrified at his mother.

“Spread your legs NOW,” she said, taking a step forward.

Doug complied and stood spread eagled in front of the room of women.

Jen looked around. Should she kick him? Should someone else?

Sarah saw what she was thinking and jumped forward. “Mom, I know for a fact that Doug has a gross obsession with Hailey. He’s probably thinking about her when he watches those degrading videos.”

All the women made sounds of disgust. Jen nodded. “Well it only seems fair that a victim of a crime get justice, no?”

Hailey giggled and screamed with excitement. “Thanks Ms. G!”

“Oh wait, let me go get some shoes on!” Her and Sarah disappeared up into Sarah’s room.

Doug stood there awkwardly, still standing with his legs apart, head down, as the group of women laughed and chatted about his coming ball punishment.

“You’re doing the right thing!” A few of them said to Jen.

“This is what’s best for him.”

“All men should be punished like this. Society will be better for it. Your family will be better for it!”

Jen had to admit that, not only did she feel right about her course of action, but she felt a sense of excitement. It brought her back to her youth, when she was just about to or had just seen a guy get kicked in the balls.

Hailey and Sarah came back down. There was a hard clattering on the hard wood from Hailey’s heavy black boots.

“Ooh,” Said the women, laughing. “Poor Dougy!”

Jen couldn’t help but laugh. Doug was sure going to get it good.

Hailey stood in front of Doug, who’s face went white and his eyes wide with terror.

“Look in the bright side Dougy, I’m finally gonna touch your manbits!” They all laughed.

“No, no, please.” Doug backed away and looked around pleadingly. His eyes rested on Jen’s. “Mom, please no!”

Jen nodded to Sarah, who went behind her brother and grabbed both of his arms. She put her knee up against his back, shoving his legs apart and his pelvis forward. He was too scared and weak to put up a fight. He started crying.

“No, Dougy, the crying comes AFTER she kicks you. Gah, you can’t do anything right brother.” She taunted him.

Hailey’s face was focused now. Her eyes focused downwards, between Doug’s legs. Doug knew this moment well. He remembered that same look right before his sister unleashed a hell of pain on him. All of his muscles tended up. He couldn’t breathe.

Hailey’s right leg sailed upwards. The whole room held their breath. The black boot made a loud SMACK sound as it smashed up between Doug’s legs. The force of the kick knocked him clear off the ground and off of his feet. Sarah was still holding his arms though. He fell painfully onto his knees, but Sarah wouldn’t let him collapse into the fetal position. Instead, she pulled him back slightly so his face showed upward to the entire room. He couldn’t hide his agony. He wasn’t even allowed to suffer his pain how he wanted. All his hands wanted to do was to cup his balls, to feel them, to see if they were still there. Instead, as the pain coursed through his body, his face convulsed with pain, all of the women got to watch the show.

So many things were going through Jen’s mind. That had been a hard kick with a very hard and very heavy boot. Had her son’s nuts just been obliterated? She imagined that not even he knew the answer to that. But then she realized she didn’t care. She thought she would feel some strong emotion of fear or sadness for him, but she didn’t. They were just his balls. It wasn’t like he was dying. And so what if his nuts were mush? Wouldn’t he actually be the better for it?

Jen could feel a power coursing through her. And then an overwhelming sense of joy and satisfaction.

Hailey was admiring her work. She knew she had hit the mark perfectly. She wanted to jump with excitement. But she didn’t quite know how to react. How would Ms. G react at her giggling with excitement as her son writhed in unimaginable pain?

The other women in the room too were also looking to Jen for their cue on how to react.

Jen and Doug locked eyes. He looked so sad and pathetic. His eyes were begging for mercy as the pain continued to build through his abdomen. He wanted his mom to stop the pain, to do something, anything for him.

Jen looked up at her daughter Sarah, who was still holding Doug up. Mother and daughter had always had a deep connection, and they knew what one another were thinking. Slowly, a broad smile crept to Sarah’s face, and then to Jen’s. Then Jen couldn’t control it any longer and she started laughing out loud. Relieved, all of the other women joined in.

Sarah let go of Doug and he was finally allowed to collapse to the ground, his hands going to check his balls.

“Are they still there Dougy?” Sarah taunted her brother.

“I can check for you.” Said Hailey, laughing.

Hailey bounced up and down with glee as the laughter filled the room. Doug started writhing across the floor and shaking. This only made them all laugh even harder. Jen thought she might soon be laughing so hard she would be on the ground too.

Minutes passed. Minutes of pure joy and glee for the women. And of utter torment for Doug.

If Doug only knew what the future had in store for him, he would have wished that both of his nuts had been turned to mush that night.

#ballbusting story

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dyketectivecomics · 6 years ago

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Guess who has two thumbs and cant wait to finish things before publishing them!!!!!!!!

(just a preview for the Night Force fic that I keep talking about and never actually get around to finishing apparently)

...

While Zachary held nothing but love and respect for his cousin in his heart, he was starting to become every bit annoyed with her as she lingered in Shadowcrest’s foyer. As she pulled sticky notes from her hat, he did his best to indulge her, taking them each carefully from her, only half-listening as she gave him reminders to go along with each note.

“-and Mikey’s helped me make arrangements for Sasha, but the rabbits in the West Wing will be your responsibility, Zach,” she repeated as she handed the last sticky note and adjusted her bowtie immediately after. “As will the rest of Shadowcrest. This space mission shouldn’t last longer than the weekend, but please remember to-”

“Relax, Zee. I’m the pinnacle of responsibility.“

“That is what has me worried,” she grumbled, fixing her top hat so it rested perfectly atop her head. “OT EHT REWOTHCTAW.” A portal opened in swirling shades of blue and violet, and just before the magician stepped through, she turned one last time to her cousin, her voice having just a hint of a threat of violence. “And no parties.”

And with that final word, the magician disappeared.

With a flourish, Zach tucked all of the notes up one sleeve and pulled out carefully signed envelopes out of the other, double checking the names on each as he flipped through them. When satisfied, he held them aloft, cleared his throat, and chanted a simple spell to send them on their way.

“REVILED SETIVNI OT YM STSEUG.”

And just as soon as they disappeared in a flash of light, he pulled up the sticky notes once more and turned from the foyer to make preparations. He made sure to properly dispose of the notes in a bin around the corner.

…

More than anything, she wanted one dinner, one last semblance of the order she had from before. Just one ritual untouched by the magic and mysticism and mortal peril she faced when outside of the Williams’ home. Idle chit-chat and polite interruptions over mundane things were a welcome pace.

Normalcy. Something so sweet and now so sacred. Something she had been so severely lacking with the latest fantastical adventure that Baron Winters had dragged her unwillingly into.

And for just a few minutes, it seemed as if she may just have it.

But all too soon, Raven found herself sighing in annoyance when she recognized the ostentatious calligraphy that adorned the envelope as it popped into existence and fell right onto her dinner.

Of course Zatara would find a way to contact her at such an inopportune time.

She’d just revealed her biggest secret to her family days ago, by sharing her secret identity and almost all that it entailed after that disastrous first mission with Winters’ so-called new Night Force. She’d only just regained her teachers’ trust, after her aunt and uncle had stepped in to cover for the unfortunate mess she’d caused. She’d just been settling into that old routine that had seemed another lifetime ago.

And now Zatara was about to compromise all of that again for…

She wrinkled her nose, vexed as she read further through the card.

He was inviting her to some, so-called, exclusive house party?

She scoffed at the thought, folding the invite over and setting it aside. She only got a few more bites of green beans in, before she could sense everyone’s eyes on her. A gentle thrum of curiosity, with opposing hints of excitement and nervousness.

“Is that from one of your, um, Titan friends, honey?” Alice asked delicately, breaking the tension that had formed around the table. Always leave it to Aunt Alice, to cut right to talking about elephants in rooms.

“It is only Zatara, being a nuisance,” Raven explained, waving a dismissive hand as she picked at her food with her fork. She started to wonder where her appetite went as she felt another thrum of excitement around the table then.

“Wait, like, Zatanna Zatara?” Mary-Beth asked with a gleam in her eyes, “So her magic is all real, like yours?”

“Not quite like mine,” Raven found herself correcting, and winced a bit as she realized she failed to keep the venom out of her voice. “And also not from her. She has a cousin. Zachary. Much less talented, and much more annoying.” She paused a moment, sensing the growing curiosity that hung in the air, answering the unasked question.

“He has invited me and our… mutual acquaintances to a party this weekend. But I do not think-”

“You should go,” Jack said between bites, carefully swallowing before continuing. “It’s good for a growing teen, to be around other people that share your interests, even when you don’t always get along with them.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Uncle Jack, but I already have friends-”

“But not friends that are… magic,” he pointed again with his fork, a sly smile forming on his face, “Besides, I don’t remember you telling us you had any other plans this weekend.”

“It is clear across the country-”

“Rach- Raven,” Alice said, catching herself, “If you keep finding excuses for why you couldn’t, you’ll never see the reason why you should.”

“That’s deep, Mom, where’d ya get that from?” Mary-Beth laughed, and soon the discussion derailed back into mundanity.

And as the conversation drifted, Raven wondered if spending the weekend just outside of Gotham with her fellow Night Force members would be such a bad thing after all. She certainly didn’t know them well enough to develop any strong feelings, positive or negative, towards them.

And Uncle Jack had made a good point, about her not having plans in the first place…

…

Shadowcrest was exactly how she had imagined it. Victorian gothic architecture that matched every other estate in the countryside. If pushing just past Gotham City’s limits could be considered countryside, that is.

Unlike many of those estates, which had fallen into vacancy and disrepair over the years, Shadowcrest stood tall and proud. The roofline looked as if it had just been patched in, the paint as vibrant as the day it first touched the paneling, and the whole building absolutely hummed with energy. A magical building, indeed, and one that had Raven pausing at it’s doorbell as she lifted her hand to buzz herself in.

She cursed her momentary hesitancy under breath before pressing the bell with a tad more force than necessary, rolling her eyes as “Abracadabra” could be heard playing throughout the manor.

‘Leave it to the stage magicians to have a sense of humor,’ she thought idly.

When Zach opened the door, he looked as if he were trying to keep the surprise off his face. Certainly, it wasn’t often that a Teen Titan darkened his doorstep, in civilian clothing no less! But he couldn’t seem to help himself as his eyes traveled over her body to take in her outfit.

The yellow sundress was a shock, but not at all unflattering on the teen empath, sported with tan flats and a jean jacket that was her only protection against the first chilling winds of autumn. An outfit much more telling of her point of departure, from sunny San Francisco, than her current destination, in the dreary American Northeast.

“So, she doesn’t dress like she’s ready to attend a mid-2000s Fallout Boy concert, like the rest of us,” he noted, a smirk beginning to grow on his face. Raven made her own mental note of his comment as she took in Zach’s own outfit for the evening. He had evidently ditched the tophat and tails for more comfortable jeans with strategically placed holes, and a shirt sporting a band’s logo that she couldn’t immediately place.

“I am only here because I am curious about your library, Zatara,” she said carefully as she pushed past the boy, “Let’s not make this any more difficult that it needs to be.”

“Only you would see an invite to an exclusive party, and have eyes solely for the library,” a voice called lazily from the next room over, making Raven pause as she changed her direction towards it.

To the left of that oh-so-grand foyer that hinted around a more timeless design, was a classically victorian-style tea room, where the rest of their teammates had evidently made themselves at home, much to Zach’s very tangible frustration.

Raven could practically taste the mingling emotions in the air, wafts of annoyance and hints of glee. And once again, that common, nearly electric undercurrent of excitement and anticipation. The room was like a powder keg with so many players ready to go. She wondered idly how the others must have felt, with so much energy once again in the air.

Klarion was placed the furthest away, draped lazily along an armchair with his legs hanging off the side. He gave the empath a quick nod before turning back to the tablet in his lap, hands glowing in time as he appeared to be mixing and experimenting with how the tech was adapting to his magic.

On the loveseat, Traci was engrossed in her own conversation with Kid Devil, who Raven recognized only from brief encounters before this whole mess with Winters had begun. Eddie Bloomberg had only just run into these powers of his not too long ago, after all. The pair briefly acknowledged the empath before returning to their conversation, Eddie’s hands becoming more animated as Traci laughed along with his antics.

Which only left the final two players in the room, Skye Harper, who was making herself comfortably at home lounging on a summoned bean bag chair that clashed horribly with the rest of the decor, and Black Alice, sitting in the only other armchair in the room. And apparently making backhanded comments, as always.

“Guys, the coasters. Please,” Zach groaned as he snapped his fingers to hide his mumbling as he summoned more. Klarion’s feisty feline had taken most of the mats, playing or otherwise tearing them apart, as pets are wont to do.

He grabbed Teekl by the cat’s scruffy neck to berate it. “No more chewing on these ones, got it?” The cat only gave him a hiss, swatting and missing as the magician dropped it. It bounced happily into Klarion’s arms as the pair gave the magician a glare.

“At least now the party can really start,” Alice continued, stretching her arms over her head in boredom. “Demons make everything much more interesting-”

“Half-demon,” the empath found herself snapping. It couldn’t be helped, however, with how the room had shifted. That peculiar lilt the power-snatcher used just then, made her skin crawl. She couldn’t stand to let that feeling. “And how do you know that I am here to start the party? Maybe I will end it before it even begins.”

“Told you she’d be a narc,” Eddie laughed. “Everyone knows she and Za-”

With a piercing ring, Zachary’s phone chimed off, alarm magically charmed to stop all thought except what the reminder was set to. A spell that was little overdone, as Raven could feel a mild headache making it’s home right between her eyes. She didn’t need to guess, much less imagine, what everyone else must have been feeling.

“Ugh, the popcorn!” Zach groaned, “Okay, everyone stay right here, I’ll be back with the flicks and everything and then we can get this started! OT EHT NEHCTIK.”

Immediately after the magician had completely disappeared, Klarion was on his feet, heading out of the very same doorway Raven had entered from.

“You guys can stay if you want, Teekl and I are going to explore,” he declared lazily over his shoulder, heading right for the stairs.

“I don’t think Zach would appreciate that,” Skye started hesitantly, but before she could protest any further, the other teen mystics were out of their seats and similarly following suit.

“I’m going to search for blackmail material,” Alice laughed. Traci shrugged her shoulders, following close behind with a rebuttal of, “I don’t completely condone it, but I’m in.”

Eddie declared himself Klarion’s unofficial shadow and the two were off in the blink of an eye, disappearing around a corner before anyone could ask what destination they had in mind.

This left Raven to sigh wearily, recognizing Skye’s growing anxiety and knowing she would be helpless to stop the others. She was damned regardless, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from fulfilling her promise to find Shadowcrest’s library and discover its secrets for herself.

“I could use the company-” Before she even finished the thought, the Wind Elemental was at her side, her face was split into a wide grin as she grabbed the empath’s hand, leading her down the East corridor.

“I’m pretty sure Zach said the library would be this way!” she said.

A minute later, in the now empty tea room, the magician reappeared with popcorn and movies in hand.

He let out a low curse as he realized the mistake that had been made, all too late to avoid its consequences.

#randywritesfic #this stands at abt 2k so its not a Super quick read #and the ending chap is DEF gonna hit 5k maybe 6 when all is said and done #hell maybe more #but it'll be WORTH IT #bc RELETIVELY SELF-CONTAINED STORIES LEADING INTO A NICE BIG NARRATIVE HUZZAH #idk maybe we'll see #y'all should be able to see the Plot coming a mile away but uh #y'all ever watched the Trouble with Tribbles?#yeah... that #night force #I'm tagging but I'm not tagging everyone until i actually Post the Official chapter #again. sneak preview

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wazafam · 4 years ago

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Educators are some of the most important people in our lives, except our families. Like second parents to us, educators (most notably teachers) mold viewers' childhood. They often hold special positions in hearts, as much as they can also be a source of deep antagonism for students everywhere. Their power and authority imbues them with strength. Put it simply, they can make or break each student's educative career, and even their professional career.

RELATED: Uncle Jack & Other Hilarious TV Lawyers

With such a huge influence, it is no surprise that TV show creators are obsessed with educators. Teachers like Miss Honey in Matilda teach viewers what a good teacher should be. In television, however, the craziest characters get the most recognition. Consequently, the most memorable educators are often the most unconventional.

10 Principal Lewis (American Dad!)

The drug-smuggling, human-trafficking, drug-addicted principal of Pearl Bailey High School, Principal Lewis also forcibly drugs his students when he needs them to win championships. Likewise, he uses all sorts of drugs on school grounds. He swears excessively in front of his students, mocks them, and calls them names. In one episode, he pulls some of his students out of class to take them to an underground poker game so they can count cards for him. Later, the Chinese mafia would come after both Lewis and the high schoolers.

Principal Lewis's lifestyle does not fit that of an educator. It is not clear why or how he got the job.

9 Mr. Frond (Bob's Burgers)

Phillip Frond, known to students as Mr. Frond, is Louise Belchers' arch-nemesis and good, close friend. The sweater-wearing, always-knitting guidance counselor values the importance of feelings and emotions. He might like to think of himself as always being there to emotionally support the students of Wagstaff School, but he has shown time and time again that he is more concerned with winning recognition for his work as a guidance counselor.

RELATED: Bob's Burgers: 10 Times Mr. Frond Went Overboard (& 5 He Was Justified)

He merely sees the children as tools for reaching his glory. Despite his badly-hidden vanity, Mr. Frond slightly cares about his students and cries when the Belcher kids write stories villainizing him as a nerdy spoilsport. Phillip is well-known for creating obnoxious slogans that he hopes would inform and educate children on emotional intelligence.

8 Principal Li (Daria)

Angela Li, the principal of Lawndale High School is most remembered for the manner in which she pronounced her school's name, drawing out the "Lawn" to emote school pride. However, like Mr. Frond, her students can see through the faux pride she professes for her school. Angela Li wants her school to be great, only so that she can be praised and glorified. She puts her students' needs last whenever doing so would make the school look good. Sometimes, this is to hilarious effect, such as when the school computers were stolen, and she announced a mandatory school-wide fingerprint collection for absolutely no reason.

In another episode, she suffers a mental breakdown when she enters into a contract with the soft drinks mafia to allegedly make more money for the school's betterment.

7 Principal Lawler (That's So Raven)

Principal Lawler (Wesley Mann) is the principal at Raven Baxter's high school, Bayside High. Mann appeared in many children's classic TV shows like Drake And Josh, Full House, and Even Stevens. He started out as an English teacher before becoming a principal. As the principal, he hates his job and punishes students for minor infractions, because he cannot be bothered to actually discipline and correct his students.

RELATED: That's So Raven: 10 Times Her Vision Ruined Everything (& 5 Times It Saved The Day)

He is most noted for his distinctive manner of speaking in which he spits on his students when pronouncing the letter "P." He also has an unfortunate quirk of choosing a vocabulary heavy on the same letter. As a result, his students often end up soaked in saliva when he is near.

6 Ross Geller (Friends)

A certified paleontologist with a Ph.D., Ross Geller began his career working in a museum. Later, he moved to a teaching career. after he was offered the opportunity to work as a stand-in lecturer. Still, Dr. Geller is highly unprofessional and has no boundaries with his students. He dates one of his students, twenty-year-old Mona, for a few months. During that time, he impulsively follows her to Florida for spring break, because he is scared that she would cheat on him.

RELATED: Friends: Ross's 5 Best (& 5 Worst) Story Arcs

In another episode, he gives a student a passing grade after the student lies to Ross that he is in love with him and cannot concentrate in class as a result.

5 Peggy Hill

Peggy Hill is King of The Hill's funniest character. The narcissistic, egotistic, ignorant Spanish teacher, who can't speak Spanish, is another of many vain educators represented on screen. Peggy is so bad at speaking Spanish, that she accidentally kidnaps a Mexican child when she takes her students on a school trip to Mexico. Her lawyer is able to prove her innocence when he proves how badly Peggy understands Spanish. Winner of many Substitute Teacher of the Year Awards, Peggy is too deep in denial to actually spend her free time improving her Spanish.

In later seasons, Peggy pretends to be a nun to secure a teaching job vacancy at a Catholic school. This is but a blip in the many narcissistic schemes that Peggy would hatch to make herself look good.

4 Principal Skinner (The Simpsons)

Springfield's mama boys, and a strict believer in punishing his students disproportionately for their wrongdoings, Principal Seymour Skinner is Springfield Elementary's own biggest downfall. His enmity with Bart Simpson is legendary, as audiences watched principal and student learn to become good (but secret) friends. Skinner's story is even weirder because he is not Mrs. Skinner's son. Her son was killed in combat, and Seymour pretended to be her son on the day he arrived to deliver the news of her son's death. Both mother and son have been playing along with this charade ever since in a plot not too far off from Alfred Hitchcock's Pyscho.

3 Beth Baerly

Ms. Baerly is George Michael's teacher on Arrested Development. She is an attractive, young teacher, with whom all her male students, including George Michael, are in love with. After briefly dating her, Michael finds out that Ms. Baerly really does love Sadam Hussein, just as George Michael relayed to him earlier in the episode. Ms. Baerly is an average American teacher who has a deep love and passion for Sadam Hussein during the US's misguided war on terror.

What does she love about a power-hungry tyrant? The answer is chilling if pondered.

2 Miss. Simian

Lucy Simian, known as Miss Simian to her students, is Elmore Junior High School's most evil troublemaker. Over two million years old, Miss Simian is always irritated, much to the agony of her students. She is mean and grumpy, even to her boyfriend, Principal Brown, and has made enemies of nearly everyone in the school, particularly Gumball and Darwin. In one episode, she pretends to turn over a new leaf just so she can win the award for Best Teacher. She fools everyone and is voted Best Teacher, only to immediately revert back to her evils ways of throwing surprise quizzes and bullying her students once she wins.

Miss Simian is a reminder of every evil teacher that audiences have been forced to endure in their own childhoods.

1 Dean Pelton

Craig Pelton is one of TV's most memorable characters. A character who changes into over-the-top ridiculous outfits to greet his students every day, Dean Pelton makes no logical sense. One unanswered question remains where he finds the budget for all his elaborate costumes - some of which are not easy to find. Knowing how corruptible he is, it is fair to say, he probably uses the school's funds. When Craig is not changing into his costume of the day, he is stalking his most attractive student, Jeff; reading his confidential emails; touching him inappropriately, or moving right next to his house for optimal stalking.

NEXT: Community: Dean Pelton's 10 Funniest Moments

American Dad!'s Principal Lewis & TV's 9 Other Memorable Educators from https://ift.tt/3oLAaQo

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mynameismarines · 7 years ago

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I read Handbook for Mortals

I had the truly, unironically #blessed opportunity to see the original Twitter investigation of Handbook for Mortals when it first appeared on the NYT Bestseller list. For a moment, Book Twitter came together, like the repressed Veronica Marses they are, and detected the shit out of the book no one had heard of that pushed (the amazing, worth the hype) The Hate U Give from its number one spot.

Since then, the case has only gotten stranger, partly because the author, Lani Sarem, seems to be completely unapologetic about what she’s done.

I have to admit that I was curious about the book from moment one. Snarking bad books is kind of a thing for me. Thus started the war within between ignoring her and hoping it would all go away and dragging the book because it had to be shit, right?

Right, well, here we are.

The first page starts with ms whoever saying she's NEVER had a "normal" day before. NEVER. Maybe brief normal moments. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines) September 16, 2017

I imagine those brief normal moments in her day are bathroom breaks? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/vETrTwRWPI

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

oh, honey, have I got some news for you#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/9GiHeG93ER

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

I'll never forget this one particular, super important day-- BUT FIRST, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE COLORS I DYE MY HAIR LOL. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Bitch, we've all had windy days. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Levi's jeans "ripped in all the right places": a guide by me#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/oweamXam2N

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Yes, she's really taking time to describe her outfit, and it includes jeans "ripped in all the right places." #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

She RARELY thinks about how she wants a photographer around to capture how awesome she looks. RARELY. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/oMWb4IJqfz

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"Even when she was in a hurry, she never looked like she was rushing or running, but instead floating gingerly." #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Wfyh5aiXYL

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Anyone have guesses about how she'll describe herself? Does she know she's beautiful? Is that what makes her beautiful? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

People say she's beautiful but... but... she doesn't have a thigh-gap! #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

The dialogue is awful. They keep glaring at each other. Her mom keeps asking questions that aren't really questions. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"I edged myself closer and directed my words so closely she could feel my breath on her face." Awful. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/EoXCCJYVfU

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Also, Zade and her mother have both ground their teeth during this argument? What is happening? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/wXmMzKXmNr

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Please, for a good time, try replicating this at home. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/sStONUjBqI

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

SHE PUTS THE LYRICS IN THE BOOK. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

I HAVE COME ALL THIS WAY FOR YOU, TACKY CARPET. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

You guys just have to read this for yourselves. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/hbPzbQvXwG

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

If I hadn't been so nervous, I would've paid more attention to him! Here's 5 more lines of me paying attention to him lol. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"I ONCE READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE'S PERSONALITY BY HOW THEY WALK AND CARRY THEMSELVES." #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

You: He was confident. Zade, an intellectual: I once read an article about walking and now I notice that kind of thing. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

The magician's name is Charles Spellman. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

She mentions describing him as someone might describe Ford and then goes on and on about black clothes and cufflinks. WHAT. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Says the girl that randomly wishes a photographer were around to capture her beauty in the wind. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/yqUaCBWW0f

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Wow the beautiful woman is being bitchy what a plot twist, who saw this coming. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/4tA20P15ae

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Hey little buddy comma. Whatcha doing there? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Kmwl7ZRMJk

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

NOT SWOLLEN AFTER A BEE STING LOOKING, GOT IT. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

This happened a lot in Grey by EL James and we just assumed all the italics were thoughts from Grey's dick. 💁🏽#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

CASUALLY, 11 pages into chapter 1, still no nearer to her actual audition. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/MBmvupuS6q

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

All of these professional magic show people are trying to figure out how she did her trick and she's like RUH-ROH!. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Not eavesdropping. Everyone is just standing around her, talking about her so she can hear. Because first person is hard. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"Calm, collected, sweet, kind, and confident cascaded out of his being." *flips ahead to see if any editor is thanked* #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"Even so, Riley's energy was youthful and energetic." HIS ENERGY WAS ENERGETIC YOU GUYS I CANNOT. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Dear sweet mercy, I made it out of chapter one. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 17, 2017

Zade has already met and spoken with Beth, hence why she's waiting for her. That's not how first impressions work, girl. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/RA2wbuMu1z

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Ever hear that if you have to explain the joke, it's not funny? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/WW5DX3WtnZ

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

I knew that sharing that quote with you all you would take as a joke. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"I stood up slowly and calculated." #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/cJpAQblUPF

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

She's still 3 inches shorter? She still... has to look up...? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Je3sgNpOgC

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Sucks to be you average bitches. Zade is TALL which means she can look the menses in the eye. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"I half smiled and slowly spoke..." DID ANYONE READ THIS BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

You know an argument is getting heated when a bad author whips out all the animal noises. Growling snarling hissing! Oh my!

#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Zade describes Charles as someone who doesn't have compromise in his vocabulary. DID ANYONE READ THIS??? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

He demands to know how she does her magic trick hiss growl snarl. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Charles, the magician Harrison Ford, steps in and says that Zade will tell only him her magical secrets. The end. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

It's like listening to my 5 year old niece tell a story, honestly. Check the repetition and errors. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/st37NDgjNG

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

This is CHAPTER 2. We sill don't know WTF is going on, but we do know about her HALLOWEEN COSTUME PREFERENCES. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Dy38mjzHPH

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

If you are playing Terrible MC Bingo at home, Zade is currently ignoring everything another female character is saying! #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

You guys. There's just been an abrupt change in perspective, indicated by this large and in charge symbol? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/K3RomEos4D

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Look at her describe how Mac makes a fist to knock on the door. SHE DESCRIBES HIS FIST-MAKING ACTION. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Remember when Zade was all, "I guess I'm okay looking but I'm not skinny wah." Clarification: her waist is SMALL. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

This character is going to be played by the author in a movie. She's an author stand in. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Awww yeah, time for another round of Please I Beg You Try This At Home:#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/4M1nFzX2Pp

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Mac spies on her while she's naked but he's not happy about it, okay? She's the ENEMY. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Zade literally runs into another hot guy named Jackson so I guess we have a love triangle now? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

It's really more than just bad writing. She's so repetitive that I have to assume than she thinks we are all stupid. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/7BaH1xqyCh

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

I have no proof, but that's what I think 'cause I've learned enough in the past to kinda prove it.#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Round 3 of please try this at home, scrunching twitching edition: #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/pIuw6wPCqP

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"Each step was precise." All this time, I've been walking imprecisely. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"I have long legs, but his are longer..." YEAH, WE REMEMBER ZADE. YOU ARE ALMOST AS TALL AS THE MENS. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Mac is back. Quiz time! What is Mac doing? a. singing beautifully b. whispering c. speaking normally d. snarling#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Zade says two people are arguing and she doesn't stop to listen. Then goes on to tell us everything they are saying. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

That was her explaining why she was comforting someone who just drowned, by the way. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

SHE'S PLAYING A SONG THAT PERFECTLY MATCHES MAC AND THE LYRICS ARE PRINTED AGAIN. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

tiny tiny tiny tiniest#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/DynWHBxjYZ

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

quoted at the beginning + now in chapter 4. #homage #inspo #deep #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/pBNpnLbVD9

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING THAT'S HAPPENED. #snarkformortals https://t.co/Lj3gd070rn

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Her name is Scheherazade and she goes by Zade with a long a? I'm offended on so many levels. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

MAC'S REAL NAME IS CLARK KENT. You guys should see me DYING over here. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

She defines premonition and says how fuzzy it is like 17 times but I'll spare you. It's a vision and again-- it's fuzzy. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

Up on a platform, Sofia the beautiful bitch is refusing to wear her safety harness because of ~*reasons*~ #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

She pushes her with enough force that she misses the stage below and lands in the pool next to the stage? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

Then everyone else stands around talking about the malfunction while Zade performs CPR on Sofia? No one is fussed. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

By the way, Zade used to spend her summers working as a lifeguard. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

Mac finds her outside and suddenly, they like each other and bond over Aimee Mann and motorcycles. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

What a gal. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

For the full thread, check out #snarkformortals on Twitter.

#handbook for mortals #lani sarem #snark for mortals #snarkformortals #mynameismarines #snark #twitter

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