#Also the song would be Waving Though a Window from DEH

[mrstarkitsmellslikeanewcarinhere]

fellow AOAS fans, I'm thinking of making a animatic of Scythe Morrison (he's my favorite character in AOAS) but uh I can't draw humans so it would be the cat versions of them. Would anyone still be interested?

[koolkat9]

What are your favorite musicals and which musicals would you assign to your favorite countries based on personality? Yes, This is me asking what Music themes you'd assign them too I guess without looking at youtube and seeing videos 10 years old. I miss seeing Character Theme videos.

Oooh this is a good one! I'm also going to share musicals that make me think of some ships too because I want to ramble about the two musicals that make me think of a GerEng AU.

Okay but Characters.

Canada- Dear Evan Hansen

I know. Kind of basic. But I love DEH. "Waving Through a Window" is such a Mattie song. But what really sells the idea for me is that "So Big / So Small" is such a good song for Royal Red Bros. Francis is the dad that left, and Arthur tries to pick up the pieces, but also fails Matthew. Just the dynamic between Evan's Mom and Evan is just perfect for these two. Like Evan's mom does love Evan, but being a single mom isn't easy and to provide for him she has to work ridiculous hours so she's not there for him physically. Which is a similar postion Arthur finds himself in.

Also the lines

"That night I tucked you into bed

I will never forget how you sat up and said

'Is there another truck coming to our drive way?

A truck that will take mommy away.'"

Just hit me so hard with feels for Arthur and Matt. Just imagining a little Mattie asking Arthur one night if Arthur is going to leave him behind too. Because Francis left and Arthur seems so much more focused on Alfred. Matthew it terrified it will happen again. And it breaks Arthur's heart.

ALTERNATIVELY

Canada - Next to Normal (Specifically the song "Superboy and the Invisible Girl")

I don't know enough about what this musical is actually about other than we follow our main character Diana who is struggling with bipolar disorder and hallucinations of her dead son. And basically I think it shows how her condition affects her family?

But we did "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" for some concert once and I actually played Diana. And every time I rehearsed this song, all I could think of was ACE Family.

It is primarily Natalie, Diana's daughter, feeling neglected and ignored because of her Mother's grief over her son's death.

This line really makes me think of the two, especially after Alfred has become independent and Matthew attempts to pick up the pieces of a broken Arthur:

"Super boy and the invisible girl

He's the one you'd wish would appear

He's your hero, forever your son

He's not here, I am here"

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America - Hamliltion

For obvious reasons. American history. Main character is smart, but also so impulsive. "I'm not Throwing Away my Shot" always make me think of Al.

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England - Mary Poppins

Of course I choose something obvious. You know how much I love Arthur with kids. And Mary Poppins is that strict parental figure, but she does want what's best for the kids in her care, and I think that's perfect for Arthur.

Also I just love imagining Arthur singing "Feed the Birds."

Also also. get 2p England involved and make Oliver Bert. So double the Englands making it more fitting. Alternatively Gilbert could be Bert to make it Pruk instead.

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GerEng - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

I have this whole musical casted with Hetalia characters. But the summary first because its probably a musical not many know. I really don't know how to encompass everything so I'm just going to steal the summary from IMDb:

"A down-on-his-luck inventor turns a broken-down Grand Prix car into a fancy vehicle for his children, and then they go off on a magical fantasy adventure to save their grandfather in a far-off land."

God I had orginally had a long decription of a cast list for this but I'll ramble about that in another post. All you need to know though:

Arthur as Caratacus Potts - The down on his luck inventor and single father. Sometimes his work distracts him, but he really does love his kids

Ludwig as Truly Scrumptious - A candy heiress who meets the Potts family after almost running over the children when they run out into the road. She and Caratacus kind of get off on the wrong foot when she argues that the kids should be in school and not running around. But after he impresses her with his inventions and she joins them on their adventure in their magic car, the two fall in love.

Peter as Jeremy and Jemimah - Because I can't think of a second child to go with Peter I just have Peter right now. Because I love GerEng being dads to him.

Anyway. The songs.

First we have "You Two" which actually makes me imagine things separate from this au. Because this is also so good for ACE Family. I ramble about it more here.

"Doll On a Music Box" One of my favourite songs to listen too to daydream about GerEng. Just them pulling the same stunt Caratacus and Truly do to rescue the kids. Also Ludwig dressed up as a doll is a nice image.

"Lovely Lonely Man" Could work for either of them, but I always have loved the idea of Ludwig singing this about Arthur. Because Ludwig fell fast just like the song suggests while Arthur took a bit of time. It's just a perfect monologue of Ludwig admitting his feelings to himself.

God I could go on but I'll save the rest for a separate post

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Okay one last one for GerEng! Music Man.

Summary from Stage Agent: "There’s trouble in River City! When smooth-talking con man Harold Hill arrives in a small, tight-knit town in Iowa, he expects to dupe its residents with his elaborate moneymaking scheme: Despite his complete lack of musical literacy, he will convince everyone that he is a brilliant bandleader and recruit all the boys in town to form a band, pocketing the cash for instruments and uniforms. The problem? Some of the town members, especially the stern librarian, Marian Paroo, don’t quite buy Harold’s story. As Harold struggles to keep his scheme afloat, he also finds himself increasingly attached to the townspeople, who have all experienced a positive change since Harold came to town. Complicating matters even more, Harold is also falling head-over-heels for the beautiful Marian."

God I could go on about this one too, but keeping it brief:

Arthur as the con man Harold Hill selfish and prideful only to have a change of heart by forming genuine connections within the town.

Ludwig as the stern yet also hopeless romantic Marian. That despite knowing Arthur is a con man sees him grow and falls for him

"Goodnight My Someone / Seventy-Six Trombones (Double Reprise)" The two leads main songs coming together with them singing each other's half way through. God I just love thinking of GerEng for this scene so much! I think its so romantic to sing each other's themes to each other.

Also "Goodnight My Someone" on its own is very fitting for Ludwig. As is Marian's chacter as whole. Both are stern indivduals, refusing to take nonsense from anyone. They seem like a stick in the mud, perhaps a little cold, but both have a sweetness deep down, longing for connection. And "Goodnight My Someone" is when we first see this side of Marian.

"Marian the Librarian" Just the back and forth and tension in this song. Hill/Arthur is kind of a dick. Flirting, but really he's just playing a game at this point and bugging Marian/Ludwig at work when they're clearly aren't having it. It's another fun scene I like imagining GerEng. Especially since Arthur is really pushing his luck angering someone who could snap him like a toothpick he'd be into that let's be honest but that's not a discussion for this blog

Thank you anon for letting me combine my love of musical theatre and my love for Hetalia together! I encourage more questions like this actually so don't be scared guys!

[organic-sprolden]

So I watched the Dear Evan Hansen movie.

Here are my basic thoughts.

I cried 3 times, and it probably would've been more if I didn't know what was coming. Although, "I didn't fall, I let go" will always get me, even if I knew what was happening and exactly when.

I liked the fact that they had a lot of the original lines from the musical because it was just so much more quotable for me and likely every other DEH fan.

I was hesitant about the new songs at first, and disappointed at the loss of the classic Good For You, Anybody have a map and Disappear (not To Break In A Glove though, that song can burn.) but in context, A Little More and Anonymous Ones were pretty great.

I really loved the new ending where we see Connor in rehab singing his song, I love how we were able to see more of just him.

Not him through the perspective of others.

Also the ending when Evan confesses what he did was sweet I suppose, but there still weren't any repercussions for his actions. Which I'm pretty sure was the whole point if them adding in that scene, rather than having the Murphy's take the entire fall.

Honestly though, I don't mind it, It's not like I wanted Evan to get all the hate in the world. I just thought that if they went through the trouble of changing the story, they'd add some actual conflict.

I was wondering why they changed the setting of each of the songs. (for example, Waving Through The Window starting in his bedroom, and not after Connor pushes him. If I Could Tell Her being in the Murphy's living room and not in his bedroom, leading to the memorable and rather unfortunate first "kiss" on Zoe's dead brother's bed.) And why sometimes the songs seemed too rushed and a little out of place, despite it coming after the same line it can after in the musical. (For example, So Big/So Small.)

Also, the musical scenes were very underwhelming. Waving Through The Window, Sincerely Me, Only Us, For Forever, So Big/So Small, Words Fail all had so much potential. Moving from stage to film opens up so many possibilities for cinematic elements that's would elevate and induce many more emotions than it previously could. The songs were basically just the person sitting in one place, singing the song, maybe with a little dialogue in between verses.

I want to see more.

I want to feel the songs, even if I already know the musical soundtrack by heart. At times it felt as though they had the songs thrown into the script just because the theatre fans would riot if their favourite musical songs weren't in the film.

Which kinda sucks.

Alana was... interesting.

I feel like I hated her less in this, but it's probably because we just didn't get to see her. Anonymous Ones is a great premise for a sing and honestly I was going to cry for the reprise, but it just didn't hit as hard as I expected it to.

However, Anonymous Ones is the only song that had that X-factor the others were missing. I love that it showed that even if you think you're alone and forgotten, there's always other people. and sometimes, you get so caught up in your head that you don't take the time to notice what's right there. Or, as the song says, "The parts we can't tell, we carry them well, but that doesn't mean they're not heavy".

The thought that "no one will understand me, everyone else has a perfect life" is honestly a little selfish but it is a thought that a lot of people have. That is what I interpret Waving Through The Window as for the most part, and Anonymous Ones is basically the opposite.

The scene where Alana walks into the gym, and we see Evan in the background was really insightful to me. I appreciate that.

Jared is another one we didn't see often, so was Heidi (but of course, that's basically her whole character.) But with Jared, we lost some of the best moments of his sarcastic/teasing personality ("School shooter chic" is the main thing coming to mind.) As is, he didn't have much personality, and no real reason to even be in the movie, other than to be someone that Evan talks to to explain things to the viewing audience.

This Zoe was unexpectedly really great. Especially how she did Requiem. I will always appreciate and fully understand her reluctancy to just join the crowd and say "He was a great guy, he will be missed". Her having the backbone to say "No, he was an awful person to me" is really inspiring. so many people that were victims to abuse feel like they should just go along with it as not to dampen the vision others had of the person, but it's not right.

So yes, this Zoe did a really good job of bringing the book Zoe to life on screen.

Speaking of the book, I wish they had included Miguel. Even if it was just as the guy at the end who sent Evan the video, I wish they would've shown just a little callback to Connor's only true friend.

I feel like bringing him back, like in the book, at the end to talk to Evan would've been so much better than Evan spilling the beans then just reading all of Connor's favourite books from when he was 13.

I will probably eventually watch this again and maybey thouts will change, but as of right now, I rate this movie 7/10 on its own, and 4/10 in relation to the musical and the book.

(there's also a whole lot more o can say about the actual message behind all of this, the issues I have with the actual plot, and the casting concerns I have but for now, an open review and discussion will do.)

[thewistlingbadger]

Here's my review on the deh movie (spoilers ahead.)

In my honest opinion, the best words that i have to describe how i feel about the movie is that it is better than the in the heights movie. And i say that as someone who has always hated deh and my favorite musical ever is in the heights. The movie isn't perfect but, dare i say i enjoyed it.

I expected it to be super bad because of the white washing, the bad reviews, the story, and Ben Platt existing. And I'm not excusing any of those things (i pirated the movie I'll put the link at the bottom of this post) but I was pleasantly surprised. When you do an adaptation, you're supposed to improve the story to the best of your ability and i think that's what they did here. It wasn't all good though so let me go through the bad.

The bad:

Ben Platt??? Hello??? Honey, we know you can sing. You've got good albums and your performance in the obc was good, so what's going on here? It's such a rare occurrence to get someone from the obc into the movie, AS THE SAME ROLE! Not to mention he was talking so much shit beforehand talk about "I'm the best for the role" this that and the other, so why he didn't put his everything into the movie? It was mainly in the first half of the movie for some reason he was like "let me sing real soft".

As for the thing about his age, it's really not that noticeable imo. I think the hair isn't doing him justice. The hair aged him 60 years for some reason. Tbh i have no opinion on the hair, makeup, and costumes throughout the whole movie. They weren't great, they were boring. There weren't anything really.

... except for Connor Murphy. His design was HORRIBLE! Instead of putting him in all black like how he is in the obc, they decided to go with dark blue? He was wearing like a dark blue blazer, a dark t-shirt, and dark jeans. Like honey what? The fact that he had such a straight boy haircut but then his finger nails were painted black and he had a ring was just. smh.

The acting of everyone in general wasn't good either. Which is weird, because i know these people are good actors 🤔 so what gives? Especially Connor Murphy's acting. It was really bad lol

Waving through a window. There's a lot to unpack here. 1. THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACTUALLY GIVE DEAR EVAN HANSEN IN OPENING NUMBER AND THEY STILL DIDN'T DO IT. LIKE REALLY? Does anybody have a map was NEVER AN ACTUAL OPENING NUMBER! An opening number is supposed to set up the plot. It's supposed to introduce us to the setting and the characters. Anybody have a map didn't do that and NEITHER DOES waving through a window. Starting the movie with waving through a window doesn't make sense really. Originally, waving through a window happens after Evan has been pushed. It's really dramatic and super cool. It makes sense that it would be there in the story versus starting the movie off like that. SHOW! DON'T! TELL! Originally you show us why Evan is the way he is but in the movie you just tell us that he's really nervous. It's not deserved. Ben Platt is singing super quietly throughout the whole song and when the ensemble is singing they don't look like they're singing. This had me confused throughout the whole entire movie. If people were aware of Evan singing or if they weren't. (This is why having an opening number is so important! You set up the world!) Not to mention that they do that modern shit. They tried to put a modern spin on waving through window just like how there's a modern spin on all the songs in the heights movie. (I hate that shit it sounds horrible.)

The movie felt too serious? There weren't many jokes. Like the opening of the musical is supposed to be a joke but in the movie they don't write it as a joke. (You can also tell how desperately they're trying to cover how old Platt is by just showing his eyes lol.)

Why is Larry the stepdad. I made this complaint when it was revealed to us and it's still a valid one. It didn't further the plot, AT ALL! IT HAD LITERALLY NO EFFECT!

I feel like everyone in this movie should have been gay. Everyone felt gay. Alana with her outfits, Zoe cuffing her jeans, jarred actually being gay and Ben platt's gayness shined though in his performance. And of course, there's Connor.

I think they should have been more dramatic. I'm supposed to believe that Evan is poor but he he lives in a two story house. (I'm not saying poor people can't live in a 2 story house lol I'm just saying). Evan's room in the movie is bigger than mine for Christ sakes. Put the Murphy's in a MC mansion or something ya know? Make there house bigger.

I hate hate HATE how they put an instrumental of good for you and anybody have a map at the beginning of the movie. I hated it when they did that shit in the ith movie, and nothing has changed. It's the worst way to tease a fan, ever.

What I liked:

The movie was different from the musical...but in a good way. I don't hate the changes they made to the original story. To me it feels like it's a whole different vibe. The musical has always been about Evan but I just feel like in the movie they focus more on him. You're not having Jared or Connor getting shoved on your throat every 5 seconds. The original made me feel icky because you were constantly being reminded of how shitty Evan is (as you should) but it wasn't enjoyable. We're raised from a young age to know what's wrong and what's right. And imo, I can never enjoy a piece of media where the story you know something is bad the whole way through. (Uncharted 4 for example). You have to have duality. You have to have a perfect balance of it feeling wrong and right at the same time. And that's how the movie felt for me. The movie was very well made. Cutting the songs that they cut really made all the world of a difference. Imo i really helped (and that's saying something because i LOVE disappear and to break in a glove.) The new songs are good. I significantly like Alana's character more. She came off as annoying in the original but now she's more genuine imo. I absolutely LOVE how they went really slow with the romance between Evan and Zoe. I don't think they even kiss in the movie (which is GREAT! WE STAN NOT MAKING OUT ON YOUR DEAD BROTHER'S BED!) But at the end of if i can tell her we can see Zoe leaning in for a kiss. I liked how they added that. Speaking of things they added, THE ENDING! 👏👏👏 YES SIR. AS THEY SHOULD. It was so cool to see that because one of the main criticisms when it comes to dear Evan Hansen is the fact that he faces no consequences. So for the creators of dear Evan Hansen to take that criticism and actually apply it to the adaptation, is so insanely cool. (It's bare minimum but I've never seen anyone do it before) it's such a better ending to see Evan take responsibility, and to improve as a person. (It was cool to see some elements of the book brought into the movie but at the same time. Where Miguel. Make Connor gay!)

[i-want-anne-hathaway]

Challenge day two. Dear Evan Hansen. If you didn’t see that last post, I’m being an impulsive idiot.

Anybody have a map is a good song. I don’t- I don’t really have much else to say about that. Like, it’s just a good song. I enjoy every song in Dear Evan Hansen so this should be more tolerable than Hamilton. It’s also significantly shorter than Hamilton.

Waving Through a Window is actually about vampires, as confirmed by Lauren Lopez.

For Forever is my least favorite song on the soundtrack, and I still really like it. It’s just my least favorite because... actually I don’t know. I just vibe with it slightly less than everything else.

DEAR GORDON RAMSEY, WE’VE BEEN WAY TOO OUT OF TOUCH!

Okay, but in all seriousness, Sincerely Me was the second DEH song I’d ever heard, and I tried to figure out the plot just from the two songs I’d heard. I knew that Connor was dead, and I knew that he and Evan were not friends. Other than that, I had no idea.

I’ve watched the boot of this show so many times that the choreography is playing in my head, and that just shows how much time I have on my hands.

I’ve literally watched it so many times. Doing the dishes? Listen to Dear Evan Hansen. Doing homework? Listen to Dear Evan Hansen. Existing?? Listen to Dear Evan Hansen.

Antonio Cipriano doing the pronoun showdown of Requiem though. It makes me Sad™️. But like a good sad. It’s a sad song, but he is amazing. Not really related to DEH, but about Antonio Cipriano. In my head, Antonio Cipriano, the actor for Phoenix from JLP, and Renée Rapp’s boyfriend were all different people. I was so confused when I found out they were actually one person.

If I Could Tell her would be so sweet if you took away the context that it’s all a lie and her brother is dead. I will be getting a guitar, and I will be learning this song on it. It doesn’t sound right on the ukulele. It has to be a guitar. This is making me sad that I never got to see it when it came to my city on tour. This is also reminding me that I should finish watching The Politician. This is also also reminding me that Laura was in Glee.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TRIED TO KISS ZOE MURPHY! ON HER BROTHERS BED! AFTER HE DIED!”

Disappear can and will make me cry under the right circumstances. If it wasn’t for the fact that my parents are home, I would be screaming this song. But noooooo, they get off of work because they’re veterans /j.

Okay, so the beginning of You Will Be Found sucks to me, but I do enjoy the end of it. Is it really inspiring? Yeah. Is it a bit boring? Also, yeah.

Still thinking about the time I Evan Hansened out of a tree, and I didn’t tell anybody I’d just fallen out of a tree. I just sat there like “gee I sure hope nothing’s broken” and then got up and never mentioned it until like 3 years later. For clarification, I didn’t jump out of the tree, I actually fell

Time for what is regarded as the worst DEH song ever. To Break in a Glove is fun, and I like it. Every other song has a lot going on plot wise, but this song just feels a bit more calm and laid back.

Only Us would also be a lot sweeter if the context was different. This song does make me wish I had a significant other to just like stomp in puddles together in the rain. Like, is that too much to ask for?

Good For You is my favorite song. It’s just top tier. Literal perfection. And the dialogue in between parts with Evan and Alana and Evan in Jared. Ya know what, fuck it, I’m going to the basement so I can sing this shit. THIS SONG IS SO GOOD. I JUST- UGH.

Words Fail became my comfort song, which is like... what? Of all the songs I could’ve picked to comfort myself, I chose the one where he’s literally crying the whole time? Yes. Yes, I did.

It’s raining outside, so I’m going to stare out a window like I’m in a music video for this song. That line “I never let them see the worst of me” literally makes me so sad.

From what I’ve seen, people either love So Big/So Small or hate it, and I don’t get how you could hate this masterpiece of a song.

I WANNA LISTEN TO IN THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL! I’M ADDING IT! IT’S LITERALLY SO GOOD! Cynthia’s verses just hit different in this. I wish they’d been able to keep this in the show. And the last line of the song is just so goddamn sad, I wanna cry. “I think I’ll wait another day to pack these boxes cause once I’m through, I’m left with just one thing to do. Remember.” IT’S SO SAD!

Okay, last song... it’s not loading. Oop- nevermind. This song makes me feel good. It’s hardly even a song, but it makes me happy.

I can now listen to Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen. Goodie. Next on the list is Be More Chill. Fun.

Final judgment of DEH? It’s a great musical that lands really well with teens, not because it has a super great handle on mental illness or because all the characters are role models, it’s because they can see themselves in the characters, which can be reassuring at this age.

[youremysputnik]

what I loved about DEH / Stagedooring DEH

awkward laugh - i don’t remember exactly when this was but i think it was right before only us? (I looked it up it’s during if i could tell her!!) zoe and evan are talking about something and taylor just turned away from mal toward the back of stage and went “hahaha” really awkwardly and i don’t know it was really funny

panic attack - during you will be found, evan drops his notecards and i know the different evans do this differently. taylor started repeating “sorry um... uh umm sorry uh” and then started breathing really hard and i was like “oh no i know what this is nonono” and he basically laid on the stage for a bit having a panic attack until he saw the tie. this moment really resonated with me because it was so real and i know much panic attacks suck

awkward hand touch - during the scene “you’re breaking up with me” when zoe tells evan she’s not breaking up with him, taylor was standing like two feet from mal and awkwardly stepped forward, touched her hands at her sides and went “thank you”, she then returned the gesture and went “don’t mention it” and they both laughed pretty hard it was so funny (i have seen the obc boot in a long time so i’m not sure if this happens all the time)

circle in ywbf - ok this was the moment when i really realized i was seeing this show. this is the moment in you will be found when they all turn around to face evan (toward the end of the song) and he’s in the middle and i don’t know it was so wholesome and loud and i loved it

good for you - during their solos and when heidi, jared, and alana are all singing together taylor would just stand there with his hands over his face looking at the person then they would start walking toward him and he would run

so big/so small looking at each other - i bawled during so big so small but it was specifically the part where heidi just held evan and they looked st each other and cried aHH

connor in sincerely me - it’s interesting to see how evan’s portrayal of connor changes how he is played. during sincerely me alex would run around the stage with huge energy and it’s interesting that that’s not really connor at all

sniffles - damn i thought everyone was exaggerating when they said you can hear everyone sobbing and sniffling. i think the small intimate space of the music box definitely helps that!

did you let go - ok i’m trying to avoid huge spoilers so hopefully you know this already but when this scene happened my friend basically was that new pikachu meme and went 🤭

taylors little evan ticks - I LOVE TAYLOR TRENSCH i noticed he wiped his hands on his pants a lot and rubbed his face and eyebrows! my friend (who’s not at all into theatre) even told me “it’s so cool how he does all the little ticks!”

taylor looking around - so we were sitting middle upper balcony but the music box is so small it still felt like we were right there, plus by sitting there we could see all the social media screens anyway whenever taylor would stand at the front of the stage for like a monologue or a song he would look around and even though we were so high up it felt like he could still see us and stare into our souls

waving through a window vs you will be found - i just,,,, love this show and how similar these two songs are in their structure and how different their situations are!!!

end of only us - i think i only put this because it’s funny knowing taylor and ben’s relationship and then watching the end of only us when evan and zoe kiss anyway next

words fail voice cracks - words fail has always been my favorite song and at the beginning of the song when evan is telling the murphy’s he was lying they look so heartbroken and taylor could barely get the first few lines out because he was crying and his voice was cracking and i sobbed he’s such a good actor

sobbing into mic during so big so small? - i put a ? because i couldn’t remember if it was so big so small but it definitely was at the end of that song i think either taylor’s mic was on and shouldn’t have been or he just usually doesn’t sob there but he let out a few audible sobs and again it really shows how great of an actor he is

michael crying during to break in a glove - i don’t remember ever hearing about this happening before but during to break in a glove michael could barely get some lyrics out because he was crying so hard ansjsnen i love this cast

awkward but touching hug after so big so small - the only reason i wrote awkward is because taylor’s arm was like weirdly squished between them and it around lisa but i couldn’t really come up with another word anyway they held that for a while and if was so cute

evan gets pushed—beginning of waving - ok this was really the moment i realized i was seeing dear evan hansen when alex pushed taylor and he slid and the lights changed and immediately started waving through a window i almost lost it there AND NOTHING SAD HAPPENED YET

sky’s jared NEEDS MORE APPRECIATION - ngl i was very sleep deprived when i wrote most of these notes but i agree sleep deprived christine! he was so funny!!!! please love him!! his laugh was awesome too!! rivaled will’s

MALLORY BECHTEL - her voice was so pretty and nice i love her so much!!!!! “she so cute!!” -my friend

monster that i knew - mallory paused for so long here and it was a really interesting i love her

zoom away bed zoom in table - this is like the first thing that happens, evan’s bed moves off and the murphy’s table comes on idk maybe i was a little sleep deprived but it was kinda funny to me. also ngl i forgot that jlt was still in the cast and that was a very pleasant surprise!!

evan? EVAN - taylor trensch is amazing. he yelled a lot and that’s something i didn’t really see from the clips of the other evan and i really liked it!

not all jazz - i think this was about the yelling again but also it’s such an iconic scene i’m so happy i got to see it

you want to say it again don’t you? very much so yes - sorry, i’m sorry. you say sorry a lot don’t you? yeah sorry.. i mean... you know what i mean. PRICELESS. taylor plays awkward so well sksjejdkenen

larry realizing and crying during ywbf - michael looking around at all the screens and starting to cry when he realizes he can’t deny connor’s death forever was such a good moment!!

jlt and michael hugging - this piggybacks on the last one since it’s basically the same moment but when jennifer hugged michael she was so far up on her tiptoes

social media voices - i don’t know why it caught me so off guard that the social media voices during ywbf were the same as the ones on the recording but it did? like idk i guess i’m just used to the cast recordings being better (?autotune) than actual shows but those voices literally being the exact same threw me off?

also last thing phoenix made a speech for bcefa, they were selling a bunch of things with the proceeds going to bcefa! they were selling the cast taylor wore that night for $500! so i took this picture during that speech because i’ve seen people film then so i’m assuming it’s allowed??? 😉

-

i’m going to put stagedooring on this post too since only two people stagedoored

* we stood for a long time but there wasn’t a lot of people at the stagedoor because i know my school had 250 people there and there were other groups that had to go.

* we were originally supposed to be back at 10:30 but they extended it to 11 so we were able to stay out later!

* i’m surprised some of my friends were willing to stand around but i think they knew this is what i really wanted to do!

* michael park came out first and i was at the very beginning so i was the first person he talked to! all i really did was thank him for such a great show! when he was signing someone else’s playbill i quickly yelled i loved tuck everlasting! not sure if he heard it or not, it kind of sounded like he said “i loved it too” but don’t quote me.

* then lisa brescia came out and we told her how much we loved the show and how thankful i am for them coming out and stagedooring even after such an emotional show and she was like “we do it for you guys!! you’re the reason we do this!!” i love her!!

* i heard later that she actually graduated from a school in my state and someone’s mom actually knew her!!

* i didn’t take selfies with anyone because i heard stage management was really strict but other people were

* honestly i was working myself up to talk to taylor and thank him for everything but then he didn’t come out. i’m going to be writing him another letter soon!

* we waited for a bit longer then the stage manager said there would be nobody else so we walked back :)

* then last night i got both of these notifications: :)))))) taylor liked my tweet and david korins (scenic director) commented on my instagram!!

[staystrange]

So I saw Dear Evan Hansen yesterday.

It’s been a dream of mine to see this show for a long time. Before I woke up yesterday, I didn’t even know I was going. I’ve entered the lottery a million times and never won, so I figured this time would be exactly the same. I had honestly forgotten about the lottery when I randomly checked my phone at 9:00 and saw that I’d WON!! My mom has dreamed of seeing this show probably more than I have, so the two of us got on a bus that was scheduled to arrive in NYC at around 2:00 for a 3:00 show. We figured we’d have plenty of time to get to the theater, which was not far from the bus station. But, of course, we ran into crazy traffic and it got to the point where we didn’t think we’d make it on time. Like, it was 2:55 and we were still on the bus. Needless to say, I was panicking hard. When the bus finally parked, we ran for it. I’m not an athletic person at all, but I put all of the energy I had into running as fast as I possibly could through the streets of New York to get to the theater. We got there a few minutes after 3:00, and I went up to the box office, completely breathless, told the staff that I had lottery tickets, and handed over my ID. To be honest, I didn’t even expect them to give me the tickets at all because we were late. But they did, and I immediately started crying because I was so happy. Then, I didn’t expect them to let us in for act 1 because the show had already started and the tickets literally said no late entry on them. But to my surprise, the staff let us in and showed us to our standing room spots.

We made it halfway through Anybody Have a Map. I swear, it was nothing short of a miracle.

We actually had a pretty good view, way better than the people sitting in the mezzanine and balcony sections above us. I started crying out of pure happiness and gratefulness when the opening bars of Waving Through a Window played, and I honestly kept crying throughout most of the show. When I wasn’t crying, I was laughing (probably because of Will Roland) or smiling. I got a few looks from the people sitting in the back of the orchestra in front of me, but honestly, they don’t know what I went through to be there, and so what if I’m an excessively emotional person? This show hits me hard.

I never thought I’d get to see this show, but I did, and I’m so glad. Thank you to the DEH lottery and the entire cast and crew and staff. You guys are the best. I ran across the city, didn’t eat for almost twelve hours, and stood for the entire show, but gosh, all of it was worth it.

I don’t want this post to take up too much space on people’s feeds, but if you’d like to hear about my more specific thoughts on each cast member / character and my stagedoor experience, check under the cut.

I was lucky enough to see most of the original cast, with the obvious exception of Ben Platt. I also did not see the original Alana or Larry Murphy. Everyone else has been in this production since the beginning.

Taylor Trensch as Evan Hansen: Sure, he was no Ben Platt, but he did a really good job, especially considering the big shoes he had to fill. I liked the little changes in his performance from Ben’s; it made seeing live even more of a unique experience from listening to the soundtrack on repeat. He’s a great actor, seriously. He obviously had many incredible performances, but Waving Through a Window, For Forever, You Will Be Found, and Words Fail really stood out as the best ones to me. He had funny moments, adorable moments, heartbreaking moments, and everything in between, and it was all incredible to watch.

Laura Dreyfuss as Zoe Murphy: I’m a big Glee fan, so I remember when she was on the show for a little while in Season 6. She was wonderful as Zoe, and I especially loved hearing her sing Requiem. She gave such a powerful performance throughout the show, especially during that song, and it was awesome to watch. During Only Us, my heart was torn between AWW and oh no oh no oh no because of what happens next. She has great chemistry with Taylor as I’m sure she did with Ben and Noah Galvin. I also really loved her scene with Taylor at the very end in the orchard. I actually didn’t know what happened at the end of the show, so it was a pleasant surprise and a perfect ending.

Rachel Bay Jones as Heidi Hansen: Oh. My. God. Her performance blew me away. Her happy scenes with Taylor were lovely, but it was during the scenes where her character and Evan were fighting that her talent really shone. She got so into her performance, and I could truly feel it. I unfortunately missed her part of Anybody Have a Map, but her performances in Good For You and So Big / So Small were incredible, and very different, too. Good For You especially was phenomenal.

Jennifer Laura Thompson as Cynthia Murphy: Jennifer was awesome, too. She showed a whole range of emotions throughout the show, and it was really powerful to watch. I liked her interactions with Taylor and Laura, and although she didn’t have much singing by herself compared to many of the other cast members, her performances during Anybody Have a Map? and Requiem were so freaking good.

Mike Faist as Connor Murphy: I had seen tweets about how he was leaving the show pretty soon, but I didn’t realize that it was literally his last show until I looked it up. I also didn’t realize how big of a role Connor is until I saw the production. Mike was incredible during every single moment he was in; I especially loved his parts in Sincerely, Me, Disappear, and the various reprises he sings in that aren’t on the soundtrack. At the end of the show after all of the regular bows, Jennifer Laura Thompson brought out a bouquet of flowers for Mike, and he tried to run offstage; Phoenix Best had to literally pull him back onstage to make him accept them and take his final bow. He’s so shy and humble, and it was adorable. I’m so lucky I got to see him since it was literally my last chance.

Asa Somers as Larry Murphy: Even though he’s the standby, he performed incredibly well. To be honest, To Break in a Glove is my least favorite song on the soundtrack, but he performed it well. I really loved his part in Requiem and his scenes with the whole Murphy family and Evan. His character may not have had a huge part in the show, but the parts he did have were really well done.

Will Roland as Jared Kleinman: Oh my gosh, I love Will Roland. Every single time he was onstage, I laughed out loud at the many hilarious jokes and moments he had as Jared. In the second act, though, my heart broke for Jared so freaking much. I loved hearing him sing in Sincerely, Me, You Will Be Found, and Good For You; Good For You especially showed off his talent, and Sincerely, Me made me love the song so much more than I did originally. He absolutely killed it as Jared, and I’m so glad I got to see him before he leaves on June 10 to play Jeremy in Be More Chill. Speaking of Be More Chill, I didn’t really know much about Will before it was announced that he’d been cast as Jeremy, but after seeing just one scene of him performing as Jared, I knew that he’s perfect for the role of Jeremy. I could already picture it and hear it, too. He has the right voice, the right appearance, and the perfect amount of awkwardness. Seriously, I approve wholeheartedly of this casting choice, and I can’t wait to see him again as Jeremy. I still can’t believe I get to see him twice!!

Phoenix Best as Alana Beck: I honestly didn’t even realize she wasn’t the original Alana at first. She was incredible; her character is a lot like Jared in the sense that they both made me laugh and also made my heart break, but in very different ways, of course. She sang very well in You Will Be Found and Good For You and I loved watching her perform so much.

STAGEDOOR: I waited outside the stagedoor for as long as I could before security asked us all to leave, and I was lucky enough to get four autographs, which you can see in the photo above. From top left to bottom right: Mike Faist, Asa Somers, Rachel Bay Jones, and Laura Dreyfuss. They were all incredibly kind and sweet and it meant the world to me that I got to talk to them. I guess this makes Laura Dreyfuss the first Glee cast member I’ve ever met and the fourth Glee cast autograph I’ve received; if you’d told me two years ago that I’d get to meet her, I wouldn’t have believed you. She’s so lovely. I really wanted to see Will so I could tell him that he did an incredible job as Jared and that he’s going to be such a good Jeremy in Be More Chill, but unfortunately he left out the back door. I was a little bummed, but I was honestly just grateful to be there, so it was all good. Hopefully I’ll meet him when I see him again. Taylor, Jennifer, and Phoenix didn’t come out either.

Overall, I had an incredible experience seeing this show!! My theater-nerd self hasn’t been very active in a while, but my love for theater is definitely back and bigger than ever now. I’m looking forward to seeing even more shows in the future, including (HOPEFULLY) the Off-Broadway production of Be More Chill this summer : )

[turbohell]

thank god someone else dislikes DEH! and Next to Normal portrays mental illness so much better! also Come From Away deserved to win best musical way more them DEH.

Ikr!! In my opinion, Great Comet totally should’ve won. (Come From Away is absolutely amazing, it’s just Great Comet has a special place in my heart)

D/EH,,, has issues. Evan is a bad person, and they never really address this?? Making mistakes is so much different from being a bad person, and having a flawed character is great!! But Evan lies to everyone. He uses Connor’s suicide for his benefit, and then proceeds to lie about it and earn fame from it and everything. This would be great if Evan got what he deserved,, and like,,, the musical at least talked about how bad his actions were? but when he tells the Murphys, they don’t publicly shame him or anything? And later on, Zoe thanks Evan for helping her through her brothers death??

It just doesn’t make sense. Even if he couldn’t let the truth out during the first meeting when Jared tells him to go “Yeah” and “uh-uh,” he definitely should’ve done it after. He’s honestly such a bad person and I hate how the show is passed off as good mental illness representation when it’s… not. (Also Connor is abusive. He’s a drug user and a bad person as well. Sure, he too has mental health problems, but that doesn’t excuse his actions. Another reason D/EH is bad representation is because the two characters with mental illnesses are just… bad people. I’d be so much less pissed off if at least one of them was good and it was more like some people w mental illnesses are good and others are bad, just like neurotypical people! But that’s not what’s happening.)

Not to mention the entire tree bros ship? It’s so toxic? You’re shipping an abusive brother with a person that benefitted off their suicide? It really doesn’t make sense and it’s super problematic.

Not to mention, there’s so much better mental illness representation on Broadway. There’s N2N, which is absolutely amazing because it’s actually an accurate representation of good people that have mental illnesses and it’s good portrayal?? Obviously Diana is at the serious side of the spectrum, but I honestly believe that going for the serious side of the spectrum first makes sense. It shows that even though she’s struggling with psychosis and bipolar disorder, she’s still a good person. (I haven’t listened to this show a lot, but I love what I’ve heard)

That’s not what Dear E/van Hansen does at all. Instead, it’s this entire thing where Evan makes a bunch of mistakes, is a BAD PERSON that uses another kid’s SUICIDE to his benefit and the audience just soaks him up as an “uwu pure anxiety boy” (and don’t tell me a part of this isn’t because Evan is a white dude) and I absolutely despise it. If the theme was to not make a spectacle out of a suicide, it was done really badly because Evan never gets what’s coming for him?? (Plus Heathers portrays that theme so much better) and if the theme was hope, which people with depression like Connor or anxiety like Evan need, then that was portrayed horribly too. Sure, you can cite the song “You Will Be Found” but that’s end of first act, and everything goes downhill from there. There’s really no message of hope from D/EH.

Besides, if you’re looking for a message of hope along with mental illness representation? GREAT COMET OF 1812.

Pierre is depressed in Great Comet. Hell, he’s even suicidal. (Pierre) and then he proceeds to almost get himself killed (The Duel) before realizing that he doesn’t want to die like that (Dust and Ashes) followed by his realization that there could be more to life (Pierre and Natasha) and then realizing that it’s pretty nice to be alive (Great Comet of 1812). ITS SO MUCH BETTER. Pierre makes mistakes, has character flaws, but he also learns and grows and it’s a much better musical. Same with Natasha: her arc is there’s so much to life (No One Else) followed by a sense of abandonment and loneliness (Sunday Morning) and then falling for the wrong person (Natasha Lost in the Off-Broadway, or The Ball) and then pushing the people who love her away (Natasha and Sonya) making an attempt on her life, (Natasha Very Ill) before she finds comfort and friendship again (Pierre and Natasha.) There’s so much to identify with over the course of the show, and the development and recovery of the characters shows that it will get better.

Not to mention the diversity. The DE/H cast is well,,, yeah. There’s a black person. Now, Great Comet? It had:-the first time two black people were the male and female lead (Denée Benton and Oak Onaodowan) -the first Indian actress in a main role in a long time. (At the time she was on as Natasha, she was the ONLY south Asian actress on broadway. She’s Eliza on the Hamilton tour right now)-Nick Choksi as Dolokhov-the colorblind casting in this show is magnificent. The role of Natasha on this show was originated by Pippa Soo, a half Chinese actress. Natasha was then played by a white person, an Indian person, and a black person.

Honestly, giving the roles of white af Russian aristocrats to so many different people of different races and ethnicities is so incredibly important and a step in the right direction. (And before someone jumps on me for this- I understand the need for stories about people of color. I’m just applauding this show for the diversity they had.)

Yes, they made a mistake by attempting to replace Oak with Mandy Patinkin, and it was handled badly. I just don’t think that we should insult this show while letting D/EH slide.

Plus, the source material for Great Comet was excessively straight, but Marya and Hélène make out, and Anatole and Dolokhov kiss. While it’s not the best representation, they basically confirm that both Anatole and Hélène are bi. (And there’s def some polyamory mixed in there) and that Marya and Dolokhov are a at least a little gay. Which is a lot more than D/EH does.

Besides, the music in DE/H is bland and repetitive and there’s no fucking way it deserved best score even if we ignore all the BS in the plot. (Waving Through a Window sounds exactly like “The Wizard and I”)

This ended up being longer than I intended. I’m just going to wrap it up.

Honestly, I think that the fact that both Falsettos (nobody get me started on Falsettos) and Great Comet were robbed at the Tony’s is just an illustration of a bigger problem. Dear E/van Hansen did not deserve to win, and nobody can change my mind on that one.

[mysplaced-pen]

Oh! For a scenario can you do one where everyone in the RFA including V and Saeran are partying together at someone's house. (Probably Jumins cause its like one of the biggest ones.) And everyone goes around singing a song that describes themselves and then it's MC's turn and MC decides to sing "Waving through a Window" from Dear Evan Hansen. MC can either sing horribly or great. Thanks, this was a long ask.

surprise! °\(^▿^)/° hap holis my loves ^^ its almost finals week and i have a plan in the works, but i didn’t forget about requests! I’ll probably start doing them more often once break comes~

I hope you enjoy this, anon! It’s a cute idea and tbh it took me a while to like this song but thanks for making me listen to it on repeat until i did 

here we go! i hope you like~💛

Three years after the first RFA party, after the ridiculous mess with the apartment and Mint Eye, the RFA were closer than ever. Even Saeran started opening up a few months back. They had sleepovers at least twice a month, rotating houses, and tonight just happened to be one of them. All eight of them were at Jumin’s house, lounging around and just talking. Until Saeyoung stood up, walked up to the center of the room, and grinned. 

“I have an ideaaaaaa~” He said, turning everyone’s attention towards him. “Two words. Self Karaoke.” 

V tilted his head, “What do you mean, Saeyoung?” 

“I mean, we all take turns singing a song that describes us! Mainly because I wanna see who can sing and who can’t, but also because I think it’ll be fun~”

It took a little convincing, especially for Jumin, Jaehee, and Saeran, but they eventually agreed. 

“MC first! Ready?” Saeyoung said, pointing at them.

“No-” MC attempted.

“GO!”

“Oh, okay…um…” MC paused to take a breath before singing, “I’ve learned to slam on the brake..”

This song was supposed to describe them, and it did, but it spoke to the RFA as well…

zen

Zen was the first one to recognize what song this was, of course it was him.

It was his favorite DEH song, especially because he thought that the first couple lines described him so well. 

“I’ve learned to slam on the brake before I even turn the key, before I make the mistake. before I lead with the worst of me”

what made it better? hearing it in MC’s voice. They sang it so well. 

as the kept singing, he remembered how sad this song really was

this was the song that mc felt described themselves too…

it came to him that maybe MC didn’t see just how much progress they made in themself

once they finished the song, he walked over and gave them a hug

“You sing wonderfully, babe. And look at you, you’ve come this far. You opened up a lot, and you have the RFA as your support system. We’re waving back at you.”

yoosung

Yoosung was honestly just appreciating MC’s vocals at first. He never heard them sing before…they were really good.

then he heard the line: “try to speak but nobody can hear so I wait around for an answer to appear while I’m watch, watch, watching people pass”

wow…wow. he felt like this song was kind of sad, but dang. why did he relate to that line too? 

hold on.. MC felt that way? because to him, it reminded him of how he used to be. When he was stuck in that rut on his second year of college, feeling like no one heard his voice.

now he was curious on what it meant to them…

and as the song kept going, he felt like he could kind of piece it together

he knew for sure when he say Zen get up and hug them

once they sat back down, he moved over towards them and smiled at them

“I hear your voice, MC. I think it’s beautiful. Just like you~”

jaehee

Oh, Jaehee knew this song. Wasn’t this the song that alluded to how Evan broke his arm? It was a nice song, but the meaning behind it was quite sad…

they definitely sounded good, but was MC sad? Or, maybe this was about hiding themself?

Jaehee just didn’t expect a certain line to hit her so hard

it was “no slipping up if you slip away, so I got nothing to share. No I got nothing to say”

ah, she understood now. 

she saw Zen go up to hug MC after they finished the song, and saw Yoosung move too, so she thought it would be better if she waited.

she did manage to sneak in a compliment about their voice, though

once Jaehee did manage to give MC some space, she walked up to them, a small smile on her face

“I know I said this earlier, MC, but you have a beautiful voice. I hope you use it more often and share what you have to say. No slipping away, okay?”

jumin

Jumin might not have known where this song was from, but he could tell from the first line that this song meant a lot to MC. It should, this was describing them.

But…he never knew this side of them before.

it seemed to speak to the other members, too, he could see it in their expressions,

He didn’t think much of it, a song can speak to many. But this one managed to speak to him too  

“Will I ever be more than I’ve always been? cause I’m tap, tap, tapping on the glass, waving through a window”

oh.  why did that speak to him? 

he took it upon himself to ask, muttering to Zen first. “When lyrics speak to you…what does that mean?” Zen looked surprised, but he answered quickly. “It means just that. They speak to you because you relate to them. Now shh. MC is still going.”

the thought of his threads crossed his mind. ‘Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?’ ….huh. He looked over at MC when they sat back down, since they were close by.

“There’s always room to grow. I think admitting it is a big step. Just from that, you grow significantly.”

707 / luciel / saeyoung

Saeyoung was actually surprised that they picked this song. Dear Evan Hansen? The song about anxiety and holding yourself back? Didn’t expect that.

He never paid that much attention to this song, but he sure was now. MC was singing it. To him, it sounded better in their voice.

When they got to “we start with stars in our eyes, we start believing that we belong. But every sun doesn’t rise and no one tells you where you went wrong” his eyes widened.

why didn’t he hear those words before?

the thought of him when he was a kid came to mind. In that horrid house, trying his best to protect Saeran, thinking it was a good idea to join the agency 

and then the thought of a starry-eyed child MC popped in his head

…where did they go wrong?

when they finished the song, he clapped for them. “MC can definitely sing! It was great!”

He stood up after Zen pulled away from his hug, wrapping an arm around their shoulder and leaning towards their ear

“Let’s work to bring back those starry-eyes, yeah? You belong here. We belong with you.”

v / jihyun

‘MC has a really nice voice’ was honestly the first thought that popped into Jihyun’s mind.

He could feel the emotion in the room. From MC and from the RFA members, one by one. This song was powerful. Their voice was powerful.

And it was Jihyun’s turn to feel the full intensity of that power with “Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned. Step out, step out of the sun because you’ve learned”

Jihyun had always held the sun in high regard, but that brought up a new perspective

he found himself mouthing ‘because you’ve learned’ even though MC was pass those lyrics

if he was right…he figured something had hurt MC before..taught them that it was better to hide, instead of enjoy something potentially beautiful. Because beauty could be dangerous.

there was a lesson there, one that MC learned and just taught Jihyun

he clapped with Saeyoung once the song was over, “They sure can sing, it was lovely, MC.” and when he saw them in the kitchen after everyone sang, he handed them a water bottle 

“It seems like you’ve learned a lot. But I hope you can enjoy the sun now, without getting burned, just to feel it’s warmth. And I hope you won’t mind me coming along for the ride.”

saeran

Saeran reluctantly followed along with Saeyoung’s stupid plan. Stupid because he knew Saeyoung just wanted to make fun of those who couldn’t sing. Or maybe just him when it was his turn, god damn it

He was glad when MC went first, though. They sing really well. 

As the song went on, Saeran noticed everyone in the room had A Look on their face. 

Part of him found it funny. Not in a mean way, but just because he never saw that much emotion from all of them at once before. He could even see it in Jumin.

And then MC managed to get him too.

They sang “when you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around do you ever really crash or even make a sound? Did I even make a sound? It’s like I never made a sound, will I ever make a sound?” 

Everything about it, he loved. The build up, the concept, the way MC sounded. How much he could relate to it….so this is why the others looked that way.

‘will I ever make a sound?’ um, you just did MC. it was a big one too. Those lines just…captured how he felt. Will he? After all that he’s been through? After falling from how he was? ..maybe he could.

He was the last one to speak to MC about it, making a small, but meaningful remark. “Let’s make a sound together, all of us. That’s what the RFA is for, to get voices heard.” 

[bonsaievan]

Evan, Heidi, Alana, and Jared in Good For You

I really like assessing how these characters feel and their deeper emotions, especially when relating to this specific song. It demonstrates many different aspects of every single one of these characters, so why not make an analyzation? 

EVAN: 

Let’s start off with Evan. Good For You begins with the fight between Heidi and Evan after leaving the Murphy’s. Heidi is outraged that Evan’s been spending all this time with the Murphy family, and Evan’s response is to argue that Heidi is never there. Some people say Evan behavior here is really shitty and while I do think that his actions aren’t that good of decisions, we can really understand where they come from. I’m positive that Evan has an intense fear of abandonment. He fears that the people in his life will one day decide that he’s not good enough for them and leave him behind. (This most likely originated from his father leaving at a young age.) He’s terrified that he’s just a burden to his mom and that her life would be much better if he wasn’t there. This fear causes him to refuse to bond with his mom. He doesn’t want to create a connection or tell her his problems because she already has so much going on with work and classes. This is evident when Evan expresses that he thinks Heidi believes Evan is the worst thing that ever happened to her. (She denies this of course). This is also fueled by the fact that Heidi didn’t know of Evan’s broken arm until he was in the hospital. Heidi didn’t respond to Evan’s calls. This wasn’t her fault of course, she was at work. And even though Evan most likely knew this, it’s hard to shake off the fact that maybe...that wasn’t the case. His anxiety can cause him to overthink and he jumps to the conclusion that he really is just a burden to her, which is part of what caused him to let go in the first place. On the other side, he gets validation from the Murphy’s. It’s almost like the Murphy’s actually like him, even though it is all based on a lie. It’s like he’s a part of the perfect family. Evan finds false comfort in that. He really is good at heart and though he did bad things, we can really see where he’s coming from. 

A note on his treatment towards Jared, it really isn’t his fault. Evan is under the impression that Jared only hangs out with him for car insurance, that he doesn’t really consider him a friend. That has a huge affect on Evan, since Jared is really the only friend he’s got. So when he lashes out, he thinks Jared won’t care what Evan thinks of him, because why would he? (Of course, Jared has his reasons for doing these things as well, More of him below). 

Now for Evan in the actual song. He expresses extreme panic with his few lines. We can see how overwhelmed Evan really is with all the chaos the lying has brought. It’s taken a huge toll on him and he just wants to get out. He wants to erase everything and take back all these lies. But it’s not that simple. Evan’s newfound confidence that starts to shine throughout act II begins to break down as he realizes the affects of his actions. 

Heidi:

Heidi’s feelings are the most obvious, given that she has the most lines in the song. She just found out her son has been spending all his time with this family she doesn’t even know. She believes Evan thinks she isn’t good enough for him. She thinks Evan wants to escape her, while Evan is afraid of Heidi thinking the same thing about him. Evan was the best thing that ever happened to her, and he’s leaving now. Heidi is outraged at the lies her son has been telling her about where he’s been (and this is before the big reveal in words fail). 

Alana: 

For most of the musical, Alana’s been a relatively positive character. She seems well put together and hardworking, but it is revealed to the audience that she’s struggling as well. Her symptoms of high-functioning anxiety are much more obvious to the audience, given that she does sing some of Waving Through A Window in Act One. But her issues are technically revealed during Good For You, after Heidi’s singing. Evan questions why Alana is even a part of the Connor Project, angry and unable to see any possibilities other than her wanting something to put on her resumé. Alana debunks this, stating that she knows what it feels like to be alone and like know one can see you, just like Connor did. She then remarks how Evan used to know how that felt like too. This shows a feeling of anger towards Evan and how he disregards her feelings. She’s almost jealous that Evan was able to realize that he wasn’t alone in this and find solace. She thinks Evan doesn’t care anyone but himself, which isn’t true, but Alana doesn’t know that of course. “Do you even care that you might be wrong? Was it fun? Cause I hope you had a blast while you dragged me along.” 

Alana’s anxiety deserves more recognition, and more people need to realize that her sharing the note wasn’t out of malice, it was out of the sheer need to help people like Connor, people like her. 

Jared:

Jared, oh Jared. Throughout the musical, he’s the sarcastic, funny character. The token asshole. Or so you think. It’s obvious to most viewers/listeners (more obvious in the actual production than the soundtrack itself) that Jared is putting up a mask of false confidence. He acts cool and put together while he is actually deeply insecure. He doesn’t know how to communicate his actual feelings to Evan, instead telling him they’re only “family friends” so he can get his car insurance. Jared doesn’t know how he’s making Evan feel when he says these things. He could possibly be thinking that Evan just interprets them as what they are, jokes. He fails to realize that Evan believes Jared doesn’t care for him. When Evan yells at Jared during one of the Good For You cutaway scenes, his real feeling show, but the aggression that Jared uses to cope is still evident. Jared’s “Fuck you Evan! Asshole!” isn’t just anger. His voice trembles, quivers. He sounds like he’s about to cry, or is already crying. He thinks Evan doesn't care about him. They both really have the same problem and are unable to communicate what they're feeling to one another. Some people are unable to see Jared's inner struggles and disregard that part of him, only seeing the shitty things he did having bad intentions. It doesn't excuse his actions, but as with all the deh characters, you can really see where Jared is coming from.

[archetypal-conte-blog]

“You will be found” – The Broadway Musical, Dear Evan Hansen (OBC)

Dear Evan Hansen, a musical masterpiece composed by the well-known composer of some notable big screen scores such as La La Land “City of Stars” and the current sensation The Greatest Showman (Benj Pasek and Justin Paul), is definitely worth every praise and popularity as it is proven to be one of the most compelling, moving and heart-wrenching Broadway musicals to date. As it is also directed by Michael Grief (known for Next to Normal and Rent), you’ll be served with an impeccable performance as his approach is usually the combination of, “an astonishing intellectual, dramaturgical rigor as well as a remarkable sense of empathy and emotion”, as quoted from Steven Levenson (playwright of DEH), or in my dictionary “a worth-having sob fest”. Everything about the musical is perfectly crafted and more importantly, it is not only delightful to watch but is highly relatable theme-wise with its teenage anxiety and depression issue, the struggle to fit in and a bit of a love story to balance the proportion.

           Aside from the remarkable work behind the curtain, one of the most significant thing to be mentioned from the musical is the amazing portrayal of Evan Hansen, the timid and anxious high school boy, by Ben Platt. The Tony winner (also from the same show) and rising star Ben Platt, gives just the right amount of a flawless vocal and emotion combo in his performance. Added by the serious and occasional tears and spits, his performance definitely contributes highly to this musical’s impacts toward the audience and the musical current popularity. I would go as far as to say that calling Ben “crazily talented” is pretty much an understatement, there should be another superlative to define how superb Ben Platt is (maybe there is, but I am seriously at lost). It is hard to even hate his character with that abundant amount of talent. The whole ensemble is also not a detail to be missed though, all of them gives an equally engaging and powerful portrayal to their character. From the parents; family-friend, Jared (who is my secret favorite character); Connor; Zoey; and Alana complete each other amazingly, thus forming such a top-notch musical.

           Moving to the main dish of this review, the story covers a very relatable teenage dilemma such as anxiety and depression; the struggle to belong; and crushes and friendship. It is known that fitting in in high school is such a pain in the ass (whoops) and I believe we have been through all that fuss about high school drama. In that crazy survival to not being called “dork, nerd, weirdo, and many more”, some may do anything though at the cost of little or big dishonesty. This is what happened to Evan Hansen, who is still even struggling to communicate with peers in his senior year. His current coping mechanism as suggested by a professional is to write a letter to himself as a means of encouragement to get through the day. Bad luck he has, it is also because of the letter he writes, he is pulled into the trap of spiralling lies that will bring him as a viral sensation while hurting a lot of people at the same time. The story delivers a powerful message of a mess you could get into and people you could badly hurt from a lie you don’t even mean in the first place. His conflicted purpose of providing comfort to the Murphy family regarding their passing son and his somewhat concealed intention of getting close with his crush (which happens to be the daughter and the sister of the previously said family) has mould him into a completely different person. The initially timid boy turns into the speech-giving, leading and confident boy. The loner turns to be the popular and powerful figure admired both in his school and viral media.

           The first time I listened to OBC Recording on Spotify, I was quite shocked to see the very short list of the songs. It only consists of 14 songs in total, as it is listed below:

1.      Anybody have a Map?

2.      Waving Through a Window

3.      For Forever

4.      Sincerely, Me

5.      Requiem

6.      If I could Tell Her

7.      Disappear

8.      You Will Be Found

9.      To Break a Glove

10.  Only Us

11.  Good for You

12.  Words Fail

13.  So Big / So Small

14.  Finale

Another reason why I write all of the track list in this review is probably because almost all songs are special, and it is hard to choose which one is my favorite. I love the fun vibe from “Sincerely, Me” equally as the sad vibe given by “Waving Through a Window and Requiem”. I also worship the intensity of “Good for You” equally as I worship the hopefulness of “You Will Be Found”. You have no idea how amazingly moving the message delivered by all those songs! The songs are also a complete mix because you could dance to one, you could weep with the other, and you could lash out with full outrage with yet another one.

There is so much more in this musical than just a glitter and sparkle, the genius combination of intelligent works of those behind the curtain combined with the sincerity and thoroughly moving performance delivered by the casts successfully made Dear Evan Hansen a must-see show. Final word, it is one of those rare “living to its hype” performances that is definitely not to be missed.

[acorn-evan]

Dear Evan Hansen, Jul. 13th 2017 (Act 1)

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today’s going to be a good day and here’s why:

Because Michael Lee Brown was on as Evan Hansen, and you get to review him! (and cry a lot more than you already have.)

This is Part 1 of my summary and review! A second part will come soon!

I’m dedicating this whole thing to @neglectedrainbow because they seem to love Michael Lee Brown as much as I do. (I also love their writing and their account)

Alright everyone, buckle up and make sure you’re sitting down because I have a lot to dump on you. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Michael Lee Brown was better than I ever could have imagined. I saw DEH originally with the full cast on March 7th. Now that was a little while back, but I’ll still be comparing it to this performance.  I’ll also be referencing the bootleg a little since it was filmed before March 7th. Please note that during this performance the only person out was Ben. All other actors were the same as they were on March 7th. Alright, time to get on with it.

I’m going to put this simply, Michael Lee Brown destroyed me. I don’t even really know how to describe this performance, so I’m sitting here just staring at my computer thinking, ‘wow. I just spent four hours sobbing because of some guy that I had never seen until today.’ Now, Michael’s performance was a lot different than Ben’s which is something I’ll be going over, and a lot different than Colton Ryan in the audio boot. Along with things I noticed now but not the first time I saw the performance!

So we start off with "Anybody Have A Map” Michael Lee Brown as Evan looks great, I thought Evan having longer hair would be weird, but it wasn’t. His hair is slicked back and goes down to about mid neck. So Evan starts his monologue and I knew right off the bat that he would be different than Ben by a long shot. He showed up biting his nails, just chewing on them until he has to talk. He talks quickly, very quickly almost faster than Ben. He repeats his words and second guesses himself and you can already tell his performance will be with feeling. He also uses his hands, a lot. Like, a ton to express things. "Anybody Have A Map” was pretty much the same because Evan’s not a major part in it, but when he walks he hunches over in on himself trying to act smaller and visibly gets nervous when people go near him. Also, the mystery of the milk has been solved! Connor drank a glass of milk, not milk used for the cereal. Also during this Connor put a knife up to his head while he was arguing with his family at the table which I found interesting. They also don’t have his bag on the chair anymore, which means it wont fall over!

Evan’s interaction with Alana was interesting. Evan seemed more nervous and Alana seemed, off. Not in a bad way! She seemed to be trying hard to make conversation with Evan but it’s not really working out and Evan keeps stumbling over his words so it’s awkward for both of them.

Jared shows up, and wow do I have things to say about Michael Lee Brown’s Evan and Jared. You’ll see what I mean just by reading all of this. This Evan and Jared are so different than Ben’s Evan and Jared, by a long shot. Evan keeps further away from Jared and makes more major arm motions. He still picks at his cast and pulls on his shirt, if the shirt isn’t near where his hand is he’ll grab for anything in the area (i.e Connor’s bed frame, sheets, air, etc.) Evan seemed more visibly upset when Jared declined signing his cast. Also, when Jared and Evan are talking over the computer we get to see Evan and Jared’s snapchats. Jared is the only person that Evan has added on snapchat and Jared’s snapchat score is an underwhelming 12. (Jared I have a higher snapchat score than you)

Then there’s Connor, he shows up, rummaging through his bag - seemingly desperate to find something - I’m still not sure what it is he’s looking for though. Jared says his “joke” and Connor looks up. He doesn’t look mad, but then Jared says “it was just a joke” and Connor tightens his grip on the bag and says his “oh I'm laughing” thing. Here’s the thing though, Connor leaned forwards during the “Am I not laughing hard enough for you?” getting close to Jared and said it seemingly jokingly. Jared froze up and backed up a little before running away, he didn’t say it before he ran but on his way out he mumbled “freak.” When he ran he looked like a scared puppy. This is different than when I saw it March 7th and in the boot. So Evan makes a nervous noise and Connor turns on him, he gets really close to Evan in this scene and shoves him - hard. I also confirmed that Connor does indeed wear silver rings on both hands.

"Waving Through a Window" was an experience. When I saw DEH the first time it took me until Good For You to shed a tear, this is nothing against Ben Platt (I love him with all my heart and he’s wonderful) but, the feeling that Michael Lee Brown puts into Evan? He made me cry starting at this song. Right off the bat. He put so much emotion into the song. When he had his conversation with Zoe, Evan wouldn’t look her in the eyes (well he didn’t with any of the characters) he used over exaggerated arm movements and stuttered a lot. He wiped his hands on his pants a lot, you could see he was visibly stressed by the interaction. During this everyone’s walking normally except Connor, he storms everywhere quickly and angrily.

When Heidi and Evan have their call Evan looks upset that Heidi can’t come pick him up and mumbles, “I’ll- I’ll just… take the bus then.” He types out his note, which was also heart breaking because you can hear the feeling in his words. So Evan prints his note and In comes Connor Murphy. He’s quiet for a moment before they talk. Evan’s avoiding eye contact and playing with his shirt. Connor actually seemed very nice and open until he read part of the note, he sounded so worried for Zoe. He storms off taking the letter with him, and Evan cries out reaching after Connor pleading for him to give the letter back.

Evan seems more upset when Jared makes fun of him. Alana’s waving through a window piece felt more heart felt and she looked over to where the couch was coming in and then looked away. Alana feels a lot more, lost and invisible in this. Like, no one sees her, and when they do it’s only because of school things.

Evan about the letter situation was interesting as well. He sat in the chair facing as far away from Larry and Cynthia as possible, not wanting to look at them. He wouldn’t make eye contact at all and sat there picking at his shirt. When Cynthia pulls out the letter and he reads it he immediately goes, “I- he didn’t write this” And he stutters a lot, saying it about 4 times before getting it right. The interaction with Jared, Alana and Evan after this was the same as with Ben.  

(At this point I had to take a break from writing this because I started crying again, I’m surprised I had tears left from last night.)

When he had dinner with the Murphy’s he looked nervous, growing more and more freaked out at each question Cynthia asked. His nodding was exaggerated and when he spoke he spoke in quick stuttery bursts. When he messed up and the Murphy’s questioned him he used his arms trying to explain, he waves his arms a lot throughout the show. Cynthia’s interaction with this Evan felt more loving and motherly, and Larry’s felt more fatherly as well. Zoe felt more cold and closed off until later in the show however. Also while at the table Zoe’s leg shakes when Evan starts talking. When they’re at the table and Cynthia’s talking to Evan, Zoe’s watching this whole thing and Larry’s looking down like he’s in denial. When he said “telling jokes no one understands” Cynthia got this look on her face that made me immediately think of “A little bit of light” and young Connor telling jokes. During “on my face” he hold out his note, which was higher than when Ben did it, and then stops and waits before saying “and suddenly I feel the branch give way” he looks like he’s remembering when It happened. Cynthia comes over at the end of the song and embraces Evan in a hug, he flinches back at first but slowly brings his arms up to hug her.

When Heidi was talking about a taco Tuesday Evan wouldn’t ever really make eye contact with her, even when he did look at her. When she put her hand on his shoulder he flinched away, something Ben didn’t do. He was also more defensive about the cast saying Connor, “No- no- t-this is- is a d-different Co-Connor.”

I’m glad "Sincerely, Me” was pretty much the same. This is when I confirmed Connor wore rings. Also in this scene you can tell the difference between this Evan and Ben’s Evan’s interaction with Jared and Connor. When Jared asks him if he’s hyperventilating he responded in more of a mumble and not as aggressive as Ben. This scene right here is what cued me into knowing the difference between the Evan who was on his meds at the beginning of the show, and the Evan who stops taking his meds later in the show. This Evan is more anxious, less aggressive and confrontational, keeps himself hunched over to seem smaller, and shakes when he’s scared or nervous. He also does the thing where he tucks his hair behind his ear.

Something I didn’t notice the first time around, which was just me being to caught up in the story: Larry drinks quite a bit in the first act. Do with that information what you will.

Now “Requiem” oh god requiem. Requiem was when I lost whatever I was holding onto to keep the tears back. They sounded so hurt. Larry’s holding the emails tightly, Zoe’s holding them the same as Cynthia until she crumples them up. The exact moment I lost it was when Cynthia sits down on Connor’s bed and runs he hands over the blankets. She stares at it and you can see her choke back a sob before she picks up Connor’s pillow. She holds it like Heidi does Evan at the end and sobs into it, hugging it tightly. That’s what broke me and I started sobbing and didn’t stop until the end of the show. I’m not joking here. I don’t usually cry and the first time I saw the show I didn’t even shed a tear until good for you and didn’t actually cry until so big/so small. But this… this. Just was so much.

Little things I noticed about Connor’s room: The broken window, the x-box controller, the grey water bottle, the large speaker, the headphones, the no smoking sign, and the numerous books. It’s also mainly blue and grey while Evan’s is red and orange.

Evan and Heidi use dell laptops while everyone else uses macs.

"If I Could Tell Her” was a little more than awkward. You might have thought the awkwardness with Ben was bad, but ho boy. He was so loving with Zoe, he sounded like he was in love. The song was great, they put feeling into it. At the end when he goes to kiss Zoe… you know second hand embarrassment yeah? With Ben I got a little, but with Michael multiply it times 10x. He leaned forwards so quickly and kissed her before shooting back like he had been burned. Zoe gets up and looks confused and angry so Evan just shrink backs and gets up quickly and starts apologizing as much as he can.

Maybe you thought the crying was over by now? Nope. “Disappear" comes along and ripped my poor heart out. You’d think it would maybe be because of Connor, but nope. In the scene where they’re talking to the Murphy’s about the Connor Project, Evan starts talking but Jared tries to pipe up and say more. Evan shoves him back, hard, to get him to shut up. Now, Ben didn’t stop Jared like this when I saw the show, he just put his arm out. He didn’t push him. So, Jared falls silent and hangs his head, he looks upset that Evan made him stop talking when he was trying to help. He pipes up again later when Evan mentions the Jazz band helping out. “GREAT IDEA EVAN” Ben’s Evan just says “Thank you Jared” a little exasperated. But Michael’s Evan basically whisper yells “Thank you Jared!” He seems a little angry that Jared talks again. Like, Jared clearly doesn't have other friends and he's clinging onto Evan as this… lifeline. And he talks a lot so when Evan shoved him and cut him off he looked so hurt. Then when he spoke up to help Evan yelled at him, and he just shut up and hung his head, and didn't say anything else after that.

“You Will Be Found” was amazing. He goes up front and center on the stage, holding his note cards tightly. He starts his speech the same as Ben did but he drops a single note card. Evan drops his note card and he reaches down to grab it and he falls back and looks up, he scrambles backwards in fear. The audience goes deadly silent as Evan looks down, at the notecards and the tie he’s wearing. You can just see the emotions in his face as he runs his fingers over the tie. He looks nervous, anxious and scared as he scrambles to get back up. He takes a breath, puts the cards away, and starts the song. Everyone’s looking at the screens except for Larry he’s facing away. Cynthia acts like a motherly figure towards Evan in this, something he wanted Heidi to be but she’s busy with her job and school. So then they move away to the sides of the stage and it leaves Larry standing there with dozens of photos of Connor’s face on the screen behind him. He turns, to face the screen and his shoulders slump. You can see the exact moment that he breaks. He chokes out a sob and falls down to his knees sobbing. Cynthia sees him and comes over to help him up and comfort him. But he was so devastated, this seemed like the moment that he finally accepted that Connor, his son, was gone. He was like everyone else, for that brief moment, he seemed more open as he cried into Cynthia’s shoulder as he embraced her in a tight hug. The lights dim, the spotlight still on the Murphy parents and Heidi comes onto the stage. She looks around at the screens, taking in everything, and you can see the confusion and the little bit of anger in her features. She runs off to the back of the stage and the others come back on. Zoe’s sitting on Connor’s bed, Evan sits down on the very very edge as far away as possible. She thanks him and then goes to kiss him. Evan jerked back so quickly that he almost fell off the bed. He looks back, still not looking her in the eyes, and goes to kiss her. They kiss (very aggressively) and then it cuts to black.

The lights come back up and I look around, everyone is crying. I don’t know if a single person didn’t cry in act one. So that was Act One. I’ll be writing a second part to this about act two, something that I haven’t stopped thinking about because Michael Lee Brown ruined me. Anyway, stay tuned for that! Thanks for reading if you made it here :)

[sincerely-zoemurphy]

Today marks 4 months since I saw Dear Evan Hansen

so I thought I'd share what my experience was like. I remember so much of it even though it seems like such a long ago.

So I went to go see DEH June 22, and holy smokes I had no idea that my life would change after that night. It was towards the beginning of summer, so after a long, rough school year I was feeling great. I have heard of Dear Evan Hansen from others here and there, but let me tell ya watching the cast perform Waving Through A Window at the Tonys was incredible. I was kinda interested in knowing the storyline beforehand, but after seeing Ben on TV I was like "I need to go see this show". I then had the song stuck in my head, and I was overjoyed when my mom told me she miraculously got us tickets a few days later (This was like right before the show became extremely hard to get tickets for).

My initial thought while waiting in line to enter the Music Box Theatre was hoping Ben would be there that night. I knew Ben from Pitch Perfect (my favorite comedy/musical is Pitch Perfect 2) and I thought his character Benji was adorable. Sure enough, he was performing that night! I was so so excited, and even bought my favorite DEH shirt while waiting on line to get in still. My seats were middle section mezzanine, not really in the front rows but also not all the way back. I remember that before the show started, the stage was covered in social media designs and you could hear ringtones and tweet tones and it was so cool.

So here was the cast line up for that night:

Ben Platt, Laura Dreyfuss, Rachel Bay Jones, Mike Faist, Jennifer Laura Thompson, Michael Park, Will Roland, and Olivia Puckett as Alana.

The entire cast is so freaking talented I could not handle it. So here is what I remember from the show:

•Evan's opening monologue was really funny but also kinda sad

•I was smiling so much for the first 5 minutes of the show because BEN PLATT LIVE AND IN PERSON

•Connor cursing a lot

•WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW LIVEEE

•Ben's woah oh oh oh in WTAW gave me the feels, one of my favorite parts of the show

•Connor signing the cast of course

•When the Murphys tell Evan about Connor my stomach sunk a little because I kinda knew it was coming

•There was a bug flying around on the stage during For Forever lmao

•It was still so beautiful

•KiNkY

•THE LEG KICK DANCE IN SINCERELY, ME AND WHEN JARED, EVAN, AND CONNOR DROP OMGGG

•I liked how when the characters were calling each other they stepped into spotlights

•The vocals of Requiem were AMAZING and showed so much emotion

•Olivia was a great Alana, I loved how she portrayed her

•Evan bites his nails a lot when being talked to, mostly when he's with Heidi

•You. Will. Be. Found. Just. Wow.

•I got so sad when Evan was sitting on the floor during his speech. He was there for a very, very long time. I felt his pain.

•Act 2 um new Evan who dis?

•Tbh I couldn't remember the Sincerely, Me reprise lyrics for a while but I remember laughing

•When Zoe asks if her dad is bothering Evan hahaha

•Zoe in Only Us omggg

•THE KISS AT THE END

•Heidi and the Murphys and Evan at the Murphy's house was TENSE

•The moment when Evan's Connor makes it known that Evan did not fall my jaw dropped and I was in shock with sadness

•Words Fail was very heartbreaking

•So Big/So Small also very heartbreaking

•HEIDI AND EVAN HUGGING MY HEART

•I'm not gonna lie, I didn't cry until the last scene of the show. I was just feeling so many emotions, but once the Finale started I just couldn't hold back

•The aesthetic of the final scene is beautiful

•"All I see is sky for forever" broke me

•I felt like a proud mom of Ben by the end

I swear the show put me in so much shock that I was not able to talk or think properly for at least an hour afterwards. I literally stared straight ahead and was in a daze walking with my mom in the city. For Forever stayed in my mind the most, and I just kept replaying the show moments I remembered the most in my head. Dear Evan Hansen is the most real, heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. I am so thankful to have seen this show, it changed my life so much. Everything about it is just wow. I instantly formed a connection with the show and absolutely loved it. I look up to the entire cast, and Ben and Laura particularly inspire me so much. Thank you Dear Evan Hansen cast, crew, and creators for giving me and the world this amazing gift that I still think and care about today.

[that-sokovian-bastard]

The Parker Twins BTS: Obsessions - Peter Parker & twinsister!Reader

Words: 2187 Pairing: Peter Parker x Twin Sister!Reader Featuring: Tony, May, Ned, deh cast Warnings: Swearing, cringe Summary: After Tony Stark finds out about a particular obsession of yours, he decides to make a dream come true. Author's Note: 2017 Lilly was obsessed with Dear Evan Hansen and Ben Platt. 2022 Lilly is not. Though, she still loves Will Roland. Anyways, this is another self indulgent fic of going to see a bway show with some Avengers.

Parker Twins / Peter / Full Masterlist

---

"I still can't believe you think aliens don't exist," You rolled your eyes as you and Peter were on Skype with Ned. "Literally, we've seen God's from other planets! Thor and Loki, they're real! And Vision, he's a literal robot! How can you not believe in aliens?"

Peter watched with amusement, covering his mouth to hide his laughs. Of course, he knew about Peter's abilities, it was an accident, but he knew. Which meant he also suspected you...and Ned and you were never closer. "I'm not saying they don't exist; I'm just saying that it's really tough to prove it."

"Ned, you out of all people, I thought would believe in them!" You groaned. "Why don't you? There is so much proof! Hell, I'm living proof that this world is not what we think! Peter and I fought next to Vision, I fought against and with Wanda Maximoff, and if I stuck around longer, we probably would have seen Thor!" You argued. "Why not aliens?"

Ned burst out laughing, and so did Peter. "What the hell, guys? This is serious!"

"Oh, no, we know. I totally believe aliens exist," Ned admitted. "But Peter dared me at school today to see how much we could aggravate you. So we chose aliens, knowing it's one of your obsessions. I also bet to Peter that you would mention the Avengers at least twice. I won."

Peter covered his mouth and snickered. "Sorry, but it had to be done!"

"I hate you both," You groaned and covered your face. "I'm gonna start sing-screaming your most favorite musical, Ned; you deserve it," You stuck your tongue out.

"Oh no, please, spare me-"

Quickly and loudly, you started out singing Waving Through A Window from one of your newest and biggest obsessions, Dear Evan Hansen.

Peter joined in, just to spite Ned. Since you two share a room, he has to like it. It was better and easier to join you than to oppose you. And Peter had to admit; the musical isn't all that bad- he really does enjoy it. After listening to the cast album a million times, hearing you explain the plot, watching a bootleg, and freaking out about anything new, he had gotten to enjoy the show.

Even when you and Peter are supposed to be training at the Avengers facility, you listen to it. Granted, you were taking a break and decided it would be a dance break to Sincerely, Me, the musical gets played everywhere, even if Tony Stark walks in on the dance break. But there will be no stopping it.

"Hey, kids," May called with a knock on the door. "I need you two to come out here; it's important!" She yelled, and with a few responses from the two of you, you ended the call with Ned and went to the door. It was the afternoon, so anything could become of this conversation with May.

You and Peter laughed as you walked out singing the random musical songs, but stopped once you were aware that Tony Stark was sitting on your couch...again. "Oh, h-hi, Mr. Stark!" Peter chirped. "What are you here for?"

"Please don't arrest me," You mumbled, just loud enough for Peter and Tony to hear.

May raised her eyebrow. "What did you say, honey?"

You shook your head, telling May to brush it off and that it wasn't important. "Well, Mr. Stark said he needed your help- right?" May looked to Tony for clarification.

"Yes, something along those lines," Tony nodded. "I have someplace to go, and it's a ticket thing, and I have two extra tickets. I thought I should reward some of my best...What even are you? You're basically interns now because of how much you come to help me with things," Tony shrugged.

You raised your eyebrow a bit in confusion. "I didn't think you liked me that much...why are you doing this, exactly?"

"Can I not be nice?" He laughed. "You guys do a lot to help out; I should reward you!"

This was definitely not how Tony Stark normally acts. Was this a way to get you to trust him, only to have him turn on you? Was he sick? He, surely, could have picked someone else to take to whatever this ticket only thing is, but for some reason, he chose you and your twin brother. Nothing about it made sense in your mind...but maybe he was trying to actually do something good. Maybe he was actually trying to prove to you, finally, that he doesn't want to arrest you, and that he doesn't care that you were dragged into something you and Peter had no part in. Maybe, but in your mind, that was the most insane idea it could be, so you doubted that that was the reason.

But you went with him anyway.

You and Peter sat in the back of the car while Happy drove and Tony sat in the front. "So, why are you actually taking us to wherever you are?" You called from the backseat. "It's driving me insane, and nothing is making sense in my head."

"I'm just being nice. Is that so much of a crime?" Tony laughed a bit. "I realized it was time for me to...you know, be a little nicer."

You looked to Peter with disbelief in your eyes. "...Okay." You accepted the fact that you weren't going to get the answer you wanted, so you just let it go. "Oh my gosh, Peter, we're going to go past a bunch of theaters! Look out for actors; maybe we'll see someone!" You squealed a little as you noticed the theaters.

"Ooh," Peter looked out the windows. "Look, the Richard Rogers-"

"It's the Music Box Theatre!" You screamed when you saw the theatre. To be honest, you and Peter didn't get out of Queens a lot unless it was to fight crime, and you didn't have time to go any other places that didn't allow you to save the city. You have seen the theatre a few times, but you still freak out every time you go by it. What if Ben Platt happens to be outside? Or Will Roland, or Mike Faist, or Laura Dreyfuss?

Your jaw was dropped when you passed by, seeing all the posters on the side and the advertisements for the show. You didn't even realize the car stopped, and if you did, you just assumed it was a stoplight. You only reacted when you heard the door open, and Tony told the two of you to get out. "What are we doing?" You asked.

"We have to walk from here. Come on, we don't have all day," Tony rolled his eyes jokingly and was now standing on the sidewalk. You and Peter got out and followed Tony as he walked, and you would have started hollering if it weren't for Peter- he was leading the two of you into the Music Box Theater. You started breathing heavily and had tears welling in your eyes.

"Tony...are you serious? Did you get tickets, and you're taking us?" You took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down.

Tony nodded and pulled out the tickets to show you. "They're good seats, too," He told you. "When I heard you guys listening to it at the compound the other day, I asked May if you enjoyed it. She told me it's your current obsession, besides aliens. And I thought this would be nice."

You couldn't say anything. "I really am sorry for dragging both of you into the fight between the team," Tony said, "Hopefully, you'll believe me?" Tony said. He wasn't lying; he really was sorry that he took two sixteen-year-olds to a war where they could be in danger. Then, you getting arrested made everything worse. He felt terrible, it wasn't his place to try to recruit someone so young, and he hoped this would make up for some of it. Of course, he knew that buying things wouldn't fix all of it, but it would be a start. And maybe you would finally understand he doesn't want you behind bars.

To say the least, you started crying during the first song, and you did not stop. The fact that you saw the musical live and in person, with Tony Stark, and amazing seats felt like a dream. You mouthed all the songs and cried harder than you ever imagined you would. Seeing the real thing was a much different than watching the crappy bootleg on your small laptop. During intermission, you freaked out to Peter about everything that had happened. But when the lights went back down, one more thing occurred to you: Act two is always sadder.

---

"It was so amazing!" You said, your eyes still red and puffy. "Thank you so much, Tony; I don't know how I can ever repay you for such an amazing experience," You told him.

Tony smiled. "Stop thinking I hate you," He offered. "Hold on; I told someone I would talk to them," He nodded to you and your brother. "Stay right here."

You and Peter were still standing in now the nearly empty theater. Tony did not want to leave when the crowd was leaving- he wanted it to be as cleared out as possible to ensure there would be no problems getting to the car. You were okay with that; it gave you more time to admire the theatre. "Peter, Ben Platt is a Tony winner, and I was going to sue if he didn't win, because did you-"

"Yes, I saw his performance of Words Fail. I was sitting right next to you," Peter laughed. "And I know you were going to sue. We all watched the Tony's, don't worry."

After a few more minutes of freaking out to Peter, you saw Tony returning. "Are we going?" You called. "I want you to take a picture of Peter and me in front of the stage-" You stopped talking when your jaw dropped, and your clear words turned into borderline dinosaur sounds. You looked straight ahead and started hitting Peter's arm. "P-P-Peter! Oh my gosh, I think I'm going to pass out. Hold on, am I dreaming? Did Tony actually arrest me, and this is my way of coping? Did I get knocked out in a fight, and Wanda decided to give me a good dream instead of a nightmare? Someone tell me this is-"

"(Y/N), this is real," Peter cut you off. "Look, I'll even pinch you-"

"Pinch me, and I will punch you so hard you won't remember that we even left the apartment."

Tony didn't hold back his laugh, and neither did his guest. "These are the kids I'm watching tonight, (Y/N) and Peter Parker- I think they're fans," Tony said. "I would like you to meet Ben Platt," Tony said.

You didn't care how Tony pulled this off. You don't want to know what he did to make this happen, but it was happening. "Tony, I don't want to know how this is possible, so don't tell me," You told him. Taking a deep breath, you tried to contain your thoughts. "The show was so amazing; thank you so much for everything you do. I'm a huge fan."

Ben smiled. "I'm happy you enjoyed it; thanks for coming!" He told you.

Your smile never faded. "You're so talented, and- oh my gosh," You gasped. "I'm sorry if anything I said about fights, nightmares, and punching sounded weird. I'm not really sure what I'm saying- I'm kind of just talking without thinking?" You said.

"You need to breathe, or you will pass out," Peter put his hand on your shoulder to calm you down. "I'm a big fan, too! It's awesome to meet you," Peter said.

You and Peter talked to Ben for a minute more, you complimented him on his performance and thanked him, and him being very grateful for everything you said. You got distracted when you saw another body appear behind Ben, and you went back to the state of your jaw on the floor.

"I heard Tony Stark was here, and I had to introduce myself," Will Roland announced as he came up behind Ben. He smiled upon seeing Tony and quickly introduced himself. After seeing your face, Tony also directed Will to you to say hello. With your thoughts going at a million miles an hour, you wanted to scream. You wanted to tell him how much you love him, how he makes your day, but only one thought came to your mind and slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it.

"In Sincerely, Me you say "my bad," but Will, "my bad" is grammatically incorrect!" You squeaked out.

Ben and Tony burst out laughing, and Will stood there with a confused look on his face. "I don't know how to reply to that. You said it so squealishly, but was it a criticism?" Will joined in on the laughter.

"I- uh, I don't know?" You stuttered out.

Peter laughed a bit. "She means to say she loves you."

[frankensteindotpdf]

All of them (bc why not)

HOLY CRAP HERE WE GO

Harry Potter: How do you want to be remembered?

As someone who made a difference; someone who was kind, sweet, funny, and loving. 

Hermione Granger: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?

Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket- This man is amazing. He’s my favourite author and I couldn’t even begin to express how much I love him.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle- Another one of my favourite authors. He was insanely intelligent and just sounds like an awesome guy.

J.K. Rowling- Obviously.

Gerard Way- His songs mean so much to me, and his art is amazing…I just love him so much

Dan and Phil- (including them as one fite me) They’re so smart and funny and sweet and I just really really want to meet them.

(that’s just the first few to come to my head)

Ron Weasley: What ice-cream flavours do you love/hate?

Mint Chip is one of my favourites (fun fact! for a while I only said it was my favourite because it was my favourite character’s favourite flavour). I also L O V E cookie dough and cotton candy. I cant hate ice cream broski

Hagrid: If you could breed two totally different animals together, what new animal would you create?

A turtle and a sloth. No specific reason why.

Dumbledore: What is your most treasured possession?

My books, probably. (This includes my sketchbooks)

Voldemort: On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?

Remove all laws against things people can’t control or that don’t harm others (being gay, bathroom bans, religions, etc.). After that I’d order the wealth of the world to be spread more evenly, as well as the food.

Fred Weasley: If you were told you only had one week left to live, what would you do?

Cry? Then I’d probably read, try to do something impactful, start a fundraiser (people love to donate to dying teens) so the funds could go somewhere important like disaster relief.

George Weasley: If you could read minds, whose would you want to read?

Authors mostly. Also my friends, see how they really feel about me.

Draco Malfoy: Do you like yourself?

I’m working on it? I know I don’t hate everything about myself (even though it feels like it sometimes), and I’m trying to be more positive.

Ginny Weasley: What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?

Drawing and listening to music.

Neville Longbottom: What’s your fondest memory?  

(Oh it sounds so pathetic) Going to Universal? Honestly I was shaking it was literally like stepping right into the movies I’ve been watching since I was 2. I really love the peaceful happy moments spent with friends and my cousins (they live like 10 hours away). Singing and feeling genuinely happy.

Luna Lovegood: What are your favorite lyrics?

Oh there are SO many I’ll just go with the ones I can think of first

“I never let them see the worst of me. ‘Cause what if everyone saw? What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too?” Words Fail, DEH

“I cry tears you’ll never see. So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be.” Save Rock And Roll, FOB

“Oh how stupid to think that I could compare to the pretty girl with the butterscotch hair. And I won’t hate you but oh, it stings. How does it feel to be adored by him?” Adored By Him, Dodie Clark

All of Waving Through A Window

And wow that was depressing how about a nice one

“Take my jumper. Wear it, you’ll need it on the train home. And everyone will know that I’ve been loved tonight; a permanent hug from you.” Permanent Hug From You, Dodie Clark

Severus Snape: Of all your pet-peeves, which is the strangest?

Wow there’s a lot…incorrect grammar, being able to hear people chewing, clicking noises with no rythm or beat, people being too physically close…

Remus Lupin: What is your greatest fear?

Being alone.

James Potter: If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?

Honestly I have no idea…I have yet to decide on a favourite animal, drinkwise maybe one of those punches with pop and ice cream, and ice cream flavour…uhh is music a flavour?

Lily Potter: Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Anyone? People in general, I don’t really see myself as a person anymore, or at least worthy of the same respect and treatment so I’d do a lot for other people and yes, if it came to it, probably die for them too.

Sirius Black: What are your views on sex?

Personally I think it looks like a great thing to be shared with the right person. I think everyone has a right to their own bodies and their own decisions but I personally would have to be with someone for a while first.

Tonks: if you could be anyone else for a day, fictional or non-fictional who would you be any why?

Oh man idek that’s so difficult…..maybe Tonks? Honestly she’s so sweet and fun and CONFIDENT I could totally learn from that. Plus the metamorphagus powers would be awesome. and of course she’s married to remus

McGonagall: What do you believe I am thinking right now?

I think you’re doing the Jared Kleinman Laugh TM because of all the work you’re making me do.

Bellatrix: three words would others probably use to describe you?

annoying, irritating, stupid hopefully sweet, kind and funny

Lucius Malfoy: Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I love debating, but actual arguements happen VERY rarely…I never stand up for myself so the only time I’ll argue with someone is if they’re hurting one of my friends.

Molly Weasley: What do you define as a family?

A group of people who love each other, feel comfortable around each other, and support and bring out the best in each other.

Arthur Weasley: If you could have any career possible, what would it be?

FULL TIME LIBRARIAN, PART TIME TATTOO ARTIST

Peter Pettigrew: If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

If I had to, I would put much more thought and research into it but atm probably Beatrice or Elizabeth or something gender neutral

Umbridge: If you could choose, how would you want to die?

I WANT TO BE HIT BY AN AMBULANCE, AND HAVE JUST ENOUGH CONCIOUSNESS TO SAY “SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE”

Colin Creevey: Who inspires you?

Youtubers like Dan and Phil, Thomas Sanders, and Dodie, as well as the members of MCR and authors and artists in general.

Dean Thomas: Are you generally organised or messy?

It’s a mix. I want to be organised, and some places of my life are organised (my closet is organised in rainbow order as well as type of clothing) but others are horrible (my room is a dump).

Seamus Finnigan: What makes you laugh?

Youtube, memes….everything tbh

Dudley Dursley: Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Not gonna say the name but there’s a person I know who basically destroyed my mental state. They insisted they were a friend while shredding any self-esteem I had to bits. They made it nearly impossible for me to talk, telling me “no one cares” “shut up” or “you have no friends” anytime I opened my mouth, which of course echoed in my head when they weren’t around. They terrify me, because I know they can rip down the self-confidence I’m working so hard to build back up with a sentence. And I have to see them every day again. And they’re acting just like they used to.

Vernon Dursley: Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Gosh this is tough. I don’t really…have a best friend. I used to, years ago. And last year, another person. But at the moment…no one. So that makes it really hard to choose someone. I know it doesn’t have to be a best friend but there isn’t really anyone else, either so…no…one?

Petunia Dursley: How close are you to your family?

Fairly? I feel like I hide a lot though.

Victor Krum: What is your favorite form of exercise?

none probably hiking on a nice cool day in the forest. Or sit-ups. Those aren’t too hard, so I don’t mind them.

Dobby: Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

(FINALLY LAST ONE) For most things, I very much need a plan. Otherwise I panic. If it’s just hanging out with friends, though, I do enjoy just wandering around shopping at festivals or downtown (but there has to be a set plan to get there ha)

[syrren]

Dear Evan Hansen X Yuri on Ice AU (see my other musical AUs)

So this has been swirling around in my head for ages (inspired in part by one of @zephyrine-gale‘s posts), and I have too many HCs to list, but featuring:

Yuuri as Evan Hansen

Victor as Connor Murphy

Yurio as Zoe Murphy

Phichit as Jared Kleinman

Minako as Heidi Hansen

Yakov and Lilia as Larry and Cynthia Murphy

See under the cut for headcanons about this AU (warning for long post)

Minako (Heidi Hansen) is a ballet dancer, but that means she’s always on trips, rarely home, and doesn’t bring much money home. Tries her best, and introduces Yuuri to ballet and eventually skating to deal with his anxiety along with his letters.

Yuuri (Evan Hansen) has his canon-typical anxiety, and no friends aside from the “family friend”, Phichit Chulanont. Honestly he and canon-Evan are basically the same, except instead of a closet tree nerd, Yuuri is a closet ice skating nerd who is actually really good at skating...he’s just never been able to skate in front of other people without his anxiety getting in the way and completely screwing him up.

Minako is childhood friends with the owner of the local rink (Hiroko Katsuki),  so she gives Yuuri a set of keys to the rink and he goes at random hours of the morning/night when no one else is there so he can skate alone.

Skating usually clears his mind and helps him relax, but one day, he’s just skating and thinking and skating and thinking and skating and thinking and in the middle of a jump, he’s thinking and he thinks: “what if I just...didn’t land right, and never got up again, wouldn’t everyone be better off? would someone come to get me? To help me? What if I―”

So he falls “on accident” and lays there dazed from his concussion and in pain from his broken arm and fantasizes about someone coming to help him for hours and hours until Hiroko comes in to open the rink in the morning and freaks out because he’s still lying on the ice, cold and alone, because when you’re falling in a forest an ice rink and nobody’s around, do you ever even crash, or even make a sound?

And of course he writes letters to himself on the advice of his therapist (Celestino, probably?), and they still come into play, but first:

Victor (Connor Murphy)  used to be the perfect student™ that everyone knew but never really knew. He used to get perfect grades and won all the academic competitions and figure skating competitions, but he never saw any point in all of it. Despite everything, he was never very close with his parents or his peers, and felt stagnant in everything from his grades to his competitions to, eventually, his personal hobby, ice skating. 

So once high school hit and even ice skating lost its appeal, he started dropping off the map and doing drugs and skipping school so by the time he commits suicide no one really knows him anymore and like typical high schoolers, no one really cares either (until the Victor Project of course).

The day he first talks to Yuuri in the computer lab isn’t the first time he’s seen him, but lord knows if Victor is ever going to admit that he broke into the local ice skating rink one day last summer and saw the most marvelous skater already there, skating his heart out to heartbreaking music. (He was skating to Waving Through a Window, and that song+Yuuri’s skating just about kills Victor but tbh who wouldn’t it kill). 

Near the end of the routine, the skater is on his final jump when suddenly he falls apart mid-jump, his limbs coming apart and going limp like he’s just...given up. Victor watches in silent horror as he crashes into the side of the rink, arm and head-first, slides a few feet on the ice, and goes still.

 Victor wants to help, but he panics and doesn’t know what to do (you know since he’s there illegally in the first place and being super stalkerish besides) so he just stays awkwardly until he sees Yuuri open his eyes, then leaves figuring that Yuuri can probably call someone to come help him.

So when he sees Yuuri in the hallway that first day, he panics and lashes out because he’s afraid that Yuuri knows he was there and didn’t help and hates him. In the computer lab, later, he decides to approach Yuuri a little more calmly with a VERY SUBTLE “So...how’d you break your arm?” (Nice going Nikiforov, very smooth, very subtle) and offers to sign his cast. Nevermind the stinging guilt when Victor hears that no one ended up coming to help Yuuri, and isn’t that just the saddest fucking thing he’s ever heard. It all goes swimmingly until he reads Yuuri’s letter.

Because you see, Yuuri has been wanting to talk to Yurio, Victor’s little brother for a very long time. Yurio is famous for being in the jazz band a very skilled figure skater, and Yuuri admires that even though he’s never actually talked to him. He had been inspired to start skating by a certain local figure skater a long time ago, after all, and since he never learned the skater’s name, he just assumed that it was Yurio, the only real publicly prominent figure skater in the area (Hint hint, it wasn’t Yurio). 

Yuuri  doesn’t have a crush on Yurio, but he wants to be his friend, and writes about him (in place of Zoe) in his letter.

And this piece of “mockery” combined with panic about Yuuri knowing combined with hopelessness because “Oh, he likes Yurio, not me.” is the last thing to tip Victor over the edge, and he leaves, the letter still in his pocket to...well, you know, to do what canon-Connor does at this point. He comes back as our resident dead gay son tho its ok

Yurio (Zoe Murphy) is Victor’s little brother, the self-proclaimed better skater/son, and he’s always resented Victor for being seemingly perfect and then throwing it all away. Yakov and Lilia (Larry and Cynthia Murphy) had always compared him to Victor, and Yurio feels Victor’s influence looming over him even in death.

 When Victor had been perfect, everyone told Yurio that he needed to “be more like his older brother,” but when Victor started crashing and burning, Yurio suddenly needed to “be better than his older brother” and he’s just so sick of being defined by his older brother that Victor’s suicide makes him even more bitter, because now he will never be able to surpass him and shed the shadow he left over his life. (Insert Requiem here) or as i like to call it in this AU, the “Victor Nikiforov is Dead” song.

So, when Yuuri comes out proclaiming that he was Victor’s best friend, Yurio is very very skeptical. Until it turns out that he knows Victor used to skate and he starts talking about an unmistakably real time they went skating together and Yuuri broke his arm trying a difficult jump, but Victor came to help him up (For Forever).

 And when Yurio, who has never been very close with his brother, but has always secretly wanted to be, asks Yuuri about why Victor would have written about him in his suicide note, Yuuri word-vomits everything he’s ever admired about Yurio’s (and by proxy, Victor’s) skating. (If I Could Tell Him).

The two of them end up bonding (platonically) and go skating together a lot because I’m a sucker for happy friendship.

Whenever he gets bored, Yurio scribbles stars cats on the cuffs of his jeans

Yuuri bonds with Yakov over skating, because Yuuri has never had a mentor for his skating (Minako helps, but she’s a ballet dancer, she doesn’t really understand). Yakov teaches Yuuri how “To Break in Skates” with a pair of old skates that he bought for Victor after Victor started drifting away (he doesn’t know that Victor never stopped skating).

Phichit (Jared Kleinman) and Yuuri used to be super close as kids, but their friendship kinda fell apart when Phichit started getting more social and Yuuri’s anxiety got in the way of any and all attempts at joining him and his friends.

Phichit gets enlisted to help write the emails and channels every shipping bone in his body into writing the gayest emails in existence, full of bad puns and as much sexual tension as Yuuri will allow him to slip in.

Yuuri also gets very attached to Victor while he’s “researching” for his faked emails. He finds a bunch of old videos of Victor in local skating competitions before he dropped off the map and falls in love with his skating all over again, realizing that Victor is the skater that inspired him to start figure skating, which leads him to base a lot of their “friendship” around skating.

Alright this is becoming a small novel, so I’m going to cut it there, but I have a bunch of sketches that aren’t finished yet, so definitely expect more from me on this AU! 

Please PM me if you have any ideas for who should be Alana or if you just want to talk about DEH/YOI in general, I’d love to hear what you think!