#Also the quality isn't very good because for the first time I've been hit in the face with size limits

[emylilas]

"I don't suscribe to the idea that science and faith can't coexist. What we're doing here, we're going to prove that they do." - Jillian Salvius, Warrior Nun, S1E3, Ephesians 6:11

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

I’ve been simping over your ‘human’ Nomicon design since it came out in Ninja-November. If you have any headcanons about them, would you please share?

ah, a fellow monster/eldritch horror enjoyer I see! thank you! <3 tbh that Nomicon design was like an one day revelation, because while I love all the human!Nomi designs I've seen over the years (and there are some banger ones, man), it hit me that we as a fandom really underutilize all the uncanny aspects Nomi possesses. So ye. I do have a couple hc.

Nomicon is an entity that doesn't have its own face and voice.

Whenever Nomicon talks to Randy it uses proxies in form of art/images/drawings/scribbles/writings. It gives strangely non-verbal vibes for something so cryptically eloquent! And whenever it does use a voice, its voice of the First Ninja (or more accurately his VA xD) , its first owner/wielder. When it uses a face, its usually the static/unmoving marble-like faces of Art or silly pen scribbles - both of which hold that uncanny valley look of something that looks human but really isn't. Not to mention the fact that it once literally stole Randy's face/body to teach him a lesson.

I like to think that Nomicon has a library of faces/visages/voices it can take on, but all of them are creepily unsettling because - what would a book know about how to be human? It's face moves wrong, the eyes are too wide open, its body is creepily still, the voice uses inflections like its copying someone else (and sometimes voice warbles and changes/overlaps with other voices because it has so many).

All of it gives these fae/cryptid vibes of creatures that steal voices/faces to trick people, but in this case Nomicon collects those faces/voices from its owners along with their memories (which is another messed up thing we collectively forget is very creepy lol).

Nomicon is an entity that doesn't have a body, and most importantly - hands.

The reason I gave Nomicon so many shadow hands is because, well, Nomicon is a book. Hands hold those books, so the hands are very important to Nomi. All those shadow hands? Are memories of all the hands that held it (mostly previous Ninjas, but also the Creep and some others). It remembers everyone who held it.

The fit- the hat and the cape are kind of obvious, it look like center of the cover and the cape looks like covers on either side with pages underneath. The weirdest addition I made - is the spaghetti noodle-doodle 'hair'.

It constantly fascinates me that Nomicon, besides the Greek Key/9 motif, has those sort of concentration circles that are also present during Mask/Suit transformation. It gave me thought of sort of weird halos i guess?? Which adds to creepy vibe, but in this case its biblically accurate angel / holy deity type of vibes.

Nomicon has very basic understanding of humanity.

For all the experiences/memories/personalities it was created from and it absorbed over the years, human things are a rather alien concept for the book. It's the reason Nomicon is so bad at its timing whenever it buzzes Randy. It just doesnt care that you are at school Randy, its trying to teach you how to be a better ninja!!! In some sense, it absorbed the most prevalent quality of First Ninja - the dedication to duty, the whole reason for its existence - to serve Ninjas to be the best they can. So, such human/mortal things as good grades/video games/a good nights sleep are very nebulous concepts to it.

Less of a hc but more of an observation/gripe but-

COME ON ITS NAME??? Ninjanomicon as in Ninjanecronomicon??? Because lets be honest its not just a book/guide for Ninjas its a book full of DEAD NINJAS??? LIKE??? In some sense all previous Ninjas, when they go through Ultimate Lesson, 'die' in the real world (because they are no longer Ninjas) and are preserved in Nomicon. And First is like deadass dead? (Plop plop too lol). So I feel like there should be more creepiness about that.

Anyway thats basically most of it, and sorry for silly doodles but i cant really draw creepy stuff xD

[wayfayrr]

woooO!!!! congrats on 100 followers!! I've had this idea of the links reacting to the reader who rode a motorcycle, like street racing, or trick riding! like in a modern time, they find a bike under a tarp or smthn and ask them about it, and they offer to show them, and turns out they did trick riding/ street racing/etc. [with a helmet and leather jacket ofc, safety first!!] [idk really, i just like the idea and its been stewing lol]

Thank you anon!!! 💖💖 I can see why this idea was stuck in your head, the idea of reader having a bike is ✨✨ and I hope I've done it justice! I also focused this with two if you don't mind, If you wanted a different member of the chain feel free to ask!!

"[NAME]! [NAME] I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING!"

"TWI!? JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE FOR A MOMENT I'M COMING OVER TO YOU."

Twilight calling out like that? Wild I would expect, Wind or Hyrule I would understand, but Twilight? I just hope he's alright, is it even safe if he'd have to go to the hospital? Would he need a vet instead?

Because I do not want to find out the answer to that if I can help it. It's a very quick decision to drop what I'm doing to go and check on him, from... it sounded like the garage?

"Twi? Are you alright, what's - oh you haven't broken anything, that's good you're okay."

No injuries, good, fine I can work with that and he looks like a kicked puppy for some reason. Why does he look like I'm about to shout at him..? Is that my helmet? 

"I'm so sorry darlin' this thing got caught on me and I a part of it fell to the floor and I…"

"It's fine, you haven't broken anything. They're separate things I keep stacked together, there's no issue. If anything with how you were shouting I thought you were injured Link, you had me really worried."

A flustered Twilight isn't something I've gotten to see often, but it's a very addictive sight seeing someone as tough as him crumble like this over something so small. My bike's fine, the tarp's only torn a tiny bit and my helmet, well there's nothing that could scratch that any more than it's already been scratched. I wonder if I could push his fluster any further, maybe if I…

“Hey Twi, you know I promised to take you to a coffee shop at some point? So I can prove to you it’s not broken, want to ride with me?”

That did it, he’s redder than I’ve ever seen him ever and I think I can still push him further. Taking my jacket off of the hook, tossing it on then handing Twi my spare set with a wink.

“Come on pretty boy, let me treat you?”

Oh? That is cute, it seems the wolf’s lost his ability to speak as he follows my lead by putting on the gear I’ve lent to him. I’m just glad I keep some spares at all times, for when things like this come up it can be a lifesaver. Walking the bike outside with him trailing behind me with lovestruck eyes before I gesture to him to come closer. Gently guiding him to sit behind me on the bike then coaxing his arms around my waist with very little complaint from him only to start up the motor. 

It’s been a while since I’ve felt the freedom of riding like this, I think Twilight is enjoying it as well which is the main thing. Pushing my bike more from his unspoken joy, it’s like I’m back to racing again and with that thrill-seeking side winning out I push us further still hitting about a hundred now, likely faster than he’s ever moved before.

And then we’ve already arrived. Clearly he doesn’t seem ready to let go of me, the way his arms have tightened again is a good enough show of that.

“You can hold me more later Twi, don’t you want to go in then I can explain more?” 

“Alright, darlin’.”

It took a moment for him to find something on the menu that he liked the sound of and was safe for him, while I just ordered my usual but after that, we’re free to just talk for a while, although even after all of that his blush still hasn’t died down the smallest amount. 

“So I’m guessing you’re curious about my bike? I used to spend a lot of my spare time racing so it’s a very high-quality one.”

“It’s that important to you but you’re willin to let me ride it?”

“I mean, of course. There’s no fun in riding alone, and I trust you.”

I think that last sentence might have broken him, he’s a blushing mess mumbling about how good I look and how impressed he is. He’s sweet. Although now it might take a while for me to be able to talk to him again.

[fatmclassic]

Lungs 15th Anniversary gig playlist

Last night was such a blast from the past, I went and scoured through my old ipods for my favourite gigs of the Lungs era. I tried to pick gigs which match the energy of each song otherwise too many would come from the same performance. Most are professional recordings aside from rare early tracks

Dog days are over

I went with Glastonbury 2010, this was a huge moment for the band and one of the biggest crowds of the era. Best festival anthem at the best festival.

Rabbit Heart

There are so many good versions of this it was hard to choose. But as it's another festival anthem I went for that. This T in the Park and it's one of the very few performances where she sings the high notes. Isa on backing vocals.

I'm not calling you a liar

Part of her BBC introducing set, when she started breaking into the mainstream. Nice slow build up with some cool harp action.

Howl

There isn't a heap of howl recordings. I went with this one as it has the string section. The first performance for NME brixton is raw as fuck but it's a full gig vid.

Kiss with a fist

Another festival one, Oxegen 2010. This also has an intro to it with Flo dicking about on Isa's keyboard.

Girl with one eye

Intimate early gig at the Blue Flowers club. I honestly think the dodgy sound quality adds to it

Drumming Song

My fave. Actually quite hard to find a live version with drums. The orchestral versions are all great mind, I just wanted the drums. This is from Melkweg

Between two lungs

Until that prom show honestly I didn't care much for this. She has good energy in this version from Amsterdam and mixes it up a bit

Cosmic love

This song is always good, so it was hard to pick a stand out. I went with the electric proms because the harp is so good in this one and it has the drums as well. Nobel prize concert is a close second

My boy builds coffins

Last night did the best version of this, but here's a simple version played in the park with guitar and chris playing fence railings.

Hurricane drunk

I've linked this before but I love it. The instruments sound drunk in this so how could you not. Electric proms again

Blinding

The orchestral version is great, but this song has so many electronic bits that add to it. The insanity at the end was incredible live, most otherwordly experience ever, with the strobes, the UFO noises, the cymbals and her yelling, the fact that it just.keeps.going. I was in Belfast, but this Melkweg gig has a very similar version. So sad when this was dropped from the setlist.

You've got the love

Cheating a bit since this is actually the Ceremonials era but with the intro this is just the best performance of this ever. I always come back to it.

Bird song with intro

A lot of these are either poor quality or missing the intro, but this Amsterdam gig is the full package.

Falling

Again,not many performances. But this is in a church so the echo hits just right. And someone is playing a cowbell or something so that's interesting.

Hardest of hearts

Unfortunately very few recordings that aren't either dogshit quality or incomplete. This is the best I could find, some shitty Barcelona club it seems. Least it got some love last night.

Swimming

The best performance of the like, the 4 times it's ever been played. From Hammersmith Apollo

Are you hurting the on you love?

This poor song was forgotten last night, but seems to have actually been performed a fair few times to my surprise. Sadly most are poor quality. This is the best I could find with a cool little xylophone bit, from Brighton

UNRELEASED Donkey Kosh

Actually more versions of this than the bonus tracks. Anyway I like how speedy this version is, from iTunes 2008

UNRELEASED Throwing Bricks

Back to Amsterdam London calling. Fun and energetic.

[greatfunkystatic]

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)

Holy shit. This game is fantastic. I have heard so much negativity about it, but honestly I enjoyed it the whole way through. I want to state first and foremost that I've been playing this game over the course of 3 months, and started it originally as a kind of joke because of the general "mid" reception I've heard about the game (but also partially watching Lythero playing the game on his streams and videos). What then commenced was me realizing certain mechanics and gameplay being absolutely fantastic, and asking myself "Holy shit is this game actually good?" I started to enjoy it more and more, and in the end, I finished all 10 endings with having played every single stage at least once, along with the Last Story. (I didn't install the improvements mod btw, this was all vanilla)

The writing was fun (a bit silly at times, but honestly I'd rather have them try to write something with some depth than just kinda tread over very simple and safe stories), and honestly dropped a lot of lore for Shadow. I don't care how cheesy people consider this game to be, I loved that on every ending Shadow took in what he learned about himself and claimed "THIS IS WHO I AM!" Along with that, honestly there were some cutscenes that were STRONG. In particular, I remember needing to take a moment on the cutscene where the GUN Commander confronted Shadow near the end of one of the routes because of just how raw the entire thing was. Them both went through so much and that honestly felt like such a moment of catharsis for both of them. This, along with the absolute existential crisis that Shadow goes through in the neutral endings (Which I will defend and honestly this story plot most makes sense for the neutral routes). I feel like it was actually handled really well, and the expressiveness of the animations throughout the entire game really added to the emotions from the voice acting and the storyt beats. Along with the story, the music was just banger after banger. Crush40 and Sonic Team almost never fail to drop absolute bangers, and they definitely didn't disappoint with this entry either. Great lil detail of different endings having different credits music is a great touch.

The gameplay was honestly pretty fun, and there were some things I wish they had brought over to other Sonic games that were just not there. Most notably, only losing 10 rings every time you get hit. Call me a filthy casual for it all you want, I'd at least want that as an option just for nice quality of life. Another that comes to my mind at the moment is the fact that certain rings you need to light speed dash through to explore the map will have invisible rings replace them when collected. This allows you to still light speed dash through them again, which is a very neat touch. I particularly just want this because of the collectables in the games that come after, like the medallions in Unleashed and the red rings for Colors and onward, which can be kind of a pain to collect. Speaking of red rings, I am not sure if it's like this for red rings as well, but I found the fact that you keep the keys even if you die, just as long as you reach the end of the stage without a game over. The homing attack as well felt really nice, with it being both fast while still feeling like there's some oomph to it. I don't particularly mind how the modern games handle the homing attack, with a bit of a jump up before you can press it again, but there's definitely something special about just bashing an enemy in multiple times in rapid succession.

The gunplay. Man, did this game get shit on for having gunplay. And to be genuinely honest, it really isn't that bad. It's a bit wonky when going really fast, sure, but I think the aim assist did very much help with it, and I did very much like the variety of weapons we had. Every stage, I noticed whatever kind of guns one would like - whether it be heavy hitting but slower attacks like rockets, or rapid-fire attacks like MGs - there were plenty to collect, without even having to farm. You can just run through the stage and if you kill the enemies you'd naturally keep up the gun you want. Or, if you don't want to, homing attacks work perfectly fine as well!

The mission aspect of the game was one that honestly, I find it alright. Some were definitely more fun than others (glaring at every "kill X aircraft as you go through the stage" mission), but for the most part I didn't mind them. I didn't play through every mission in the game (I did touch every stage at least once), but I feel that's a bit of a plus. I really did like how if there was a certain mission I really didn't want to play, I could go around it by doing some other order of missions. Now I know many people don't like the fact that you have to play through the first stage for *every* ending, but I personally didn't mind it. I can definitely see how if you were playing this game in a much shorter timespan, just how tiring it can be, but I personally didn't mind it. On the day that I played the most, I went through about 3 or 4 endings back to back in one session, and I didn't really find it dragging me down. I also have always been to believe that one of the greatest fun of Sonic games is not just in the first playthrough of the stages, but going back and playing them more and more to the point where you get more used to the layout and start to take some of the faster and more difficult routes. In many of the great sonic games, speed may be provided at some times yes, but *constant* speed is one that you have to earn through practice. It's rewarding in a very tangible way, and the replaying of the missions were a great way to feed into this aspect of Sonic games that many others don't really do. In most other games, sure you can go back, but like. Why would you. Unless you're like, collecting the emeralds or collectables like the red rings or medallions (which through most of the time is absolutely optional), there really isn't any reason to go back.

Now, I know I have been absolutely glazing this game this entire time, but I think it'd be unfair if I didn't mention some of my gripes, for which there were a couple. As I mentioned before, I really don't like the missions where you have to follow the aircraft. Along with that, my first playthrough of Mad Circuit was extremely disorienting, and even on the second runthrough of that stage feeling neutral at most. I also want to say that although I praised the quality of life for the keys, the keys themselves do very much feel like the most superfluous collectables for how hidden they are, with the doors hiding very useless stuff like extra weapons or vehicles. I was excited to find out what were behind the doors as I went through the stages, and was very disappointed when I finally had the opportunity to open a door and found Jack and Shit. Other than that, there's the one stage where you have to drive around an enclosed nonlinear space to either destroy 5 big bombs or 20 small ones, and that one sucked because it was both timed and also I got really lost. It was the one and only time I had to look up a guide to complete a mission, because my ass was so lost after like 3 tries. Oh yeah speaking of lost, one (not all, but just one of them) of the Lost Ark stages was also really fucking confusing to go through because of how samey every room looked. The ingame map didn't really help either. The last thing I can say is that the final boss fight was a bit mediocre, but honestly I could say that for Finalhazard as well x). Actually, unlike Finalhazard, I had an actual way to reliably collect rings so it's actually better than that.

Oh yeah also Black Doom fucking sucks as a navigator. "Go there." WHERE IS THERE, DAD? DAMN????

Despite the length of my complaints, I do want to stress that in the grand scheme of things they were pretty minor, and overall I had a great experience. I wish I had more to say, but honestly I do not have the brainpower to really dig into the intricacies or why the game was fun. It just kinda was. I found it more fun than Sonic Heroes (or at least, the little bit that I played. Maybe my opinion will change once I decide to fully play that but idk lol). Game was great, the experience was fun, and I can absolutely see myself going back and chipping away at getting every A rank in the game because I am a completionist fiend. If you're ever interested, then I compel that you give the game an honest and fair try. Try to at least go in with a more open of a mind than I did at the start. Don't let the general opinion sway your opinions, make your own decisions. If through all that, you still find the game to be mid, then that is understandable. But to me, this game is absolutely a Certified Mid Classic™.

[kodas]

I would love to hear more about your headlights/brain-critters

aaaaaa thank u for taking interest!! some have a couple nicknames. from left to right: pup/ruff (it), fawn/flux (it), daze (it), red/"pants" (it), mothdog/(???) (they/it), flow crow (they/it)

my headlights often co-front, so distinctions between the lights are only easy to draw a line for if I'm heavily dysregulated or burnt out. usually I have more than one light on. lights depicted next to each other frequently front together (ie, pup+fawn or snail+red or fawn+daze, etc.)

if I'm doing very well and feeling present (& not experiencing any derealization), most of my lights will be on at the same time. they all make up who I am as "koda" and all identify with being koda, but they each have different circumstances to be "on call" for and different needs/goals on their own. not being lit means that light might have to play 'catch up' to remember details of events they weren't present for. I have memory problems lol

if the appropriate light isn't turning on when it needs to, another light will fill in but they won't have the ability to do the 'job' quite the same, leading to faster burnout. this applies to everything: tasks, games, project production, communication, forms of intimacy, etc. drawing with and without flowcrow produces a different quality of output, for example. this is why I call it flowcrow lol. back when I streamed art as puddle it'd usually be a combination of flow+moth. when I was doing xko gameplay streams, it was often pup+fawn with moth or flow chaperoning.

when other lights are out and only fawn is active, I'm in some state of awe. often this means the freeze or fawn response, even in good situations or around trusted people. I like drawing it full of stars when depicted with wonder or feeling intense adoration. it 'lights up' by turning the lights out and gettin' all starry.

moth is on-call and does most of our masking in public situations or anything outside, and is almost always in a state of hypervigilance. they're most active in social situations/group environments and body maintenance and tires out often. mothdog is the only headlight that eats, the others are repulsed by eating or show disinterest. I've been drawing them more like a black wolf-like dog/chowchow with mothman features because they're pretty stand-offish, so cryptid iconography hits right. there's been a long-standing desire to give it a name outside of 'mothdog' but all suggestions so far are met with a "no not that ❌" so we're not rushin it.

flowcrow is an on-call chaperone to other lights for certain activities, but isn't always available and sometimes fucks off (lol). it often switches on for life admin/planning tasks or stuff like learning languages/math, more exhausting comprehensive stuff.

flowcrow and daze solo-front more than any other light but are admittedly pretty antisocial/introverted. flowcrow can feel a complete disconnect from the body and daze is the opposite, unable to shut-off feeling chronic pain unless in trance. (my partners catch me staring off for a long while usually stuck in a memory or trauma flashback. when they 'wake' me, daze is usually no longer solo fronting). daze straight up does not like to be perceived outside of the body, but sometimes has to when all other lights are out.

pup and red are highly reactive and unmasked, they light up all the time with other lights active, but only feel safe enough to solo-front for long around partners/incredibly close friends.

I draw red as a nightcrawler because it's influenced by my delayed flee response, but I also like using ghost imagery for it too. if anthropomorphized further I make it a bit more doggy-like. there are times when red disappears completely for days (sometimes weeks) and I tend to depict it resting within daze because they are connected

anyhow, I've been working out the details on these critters since... late 2019? early 2020? I drew my first diagram for them in 2020

in 2023 I made some comics with my lights drawn as critters. I started working on my dissociation/dysregulation/cptsd in therapy back in 2016/2017. I have a bit more info about them on my website's about page, but the detail I go into is limited over there. way before that I made 'headspace' (a couple of animated shorts about puddle having more puddles in their head) knowing I had a dissociative disorder & cptsd but not feeling comfortable to really get into the details of each light and the purpose they serve. for that cartoon I narrowed it down to 4 lights. to this day I still group them when I talk about them, like on this blog with my tags. #daze is for both daze+red, #ddog is for fawn+pup.

thank you for asking, anon. I've been wanting to actually type all of this out for posting but often got spooked and backspaced a lot before getting your ask. we really appreciate the nudge🌌

obligatory disclaimer:

I'm not interested in syscourse. I recognize every system forms the way it does for reasons to suit the life the body experiences. if you experience plurality, you might not experience the 'divide' and co-fronting in the same way I do. that being said, I know my lights are sourced from my cptsd and strong cognitive dissonance I held for a lot of my early upbringing and a means of which to cope with the circumstances I was trapped in. it formed when I was very young, with fragmentation occuring throughout adolescence. where I can specifically draw lines and similarities between my lights and certain abstractions/iconographies are specfic to my experience with dissociation & multiplicity and does not apply to all or any other systems.

[trickybonmot]

cw: mention of childhood sexual abuse. This post isn't about that but it mentions a specific case of csa in the second paragraph.

So, my dad is a boomer and a pro-Trump Republican. Like a lot of people in that situation, I've been very puzzled, confused, and betrayed at how the person who taught me many of my progressive values, like belief in science, being kind to others, etc. can support what Republicans support.

I read something the other day that made it much clearer to me. Actually, it was in this post by Brandon Taylor about the sexual abuse suffered by Andrea Skinner, daughter of celebrated writer Alice Munroe, at the hands of her stepfather. The author, Brandon, draws a parallel to their own experience of disclosing their sexual abuse and having their family ignore it, minimize it, and even make jokes about it. Why did the family act that way? Why didn't they empathize with the victim and seek justice?

Here's a quote from the article:

Among my people, the rural and working poor, to make a history out of the past is taboo. To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it. To be fishing for sympathy, and for what, when there’s nothing to be done about it anyway.

Here is something that I remember about my dad. We used to watch David Attenborough's nature documentaries together, the old ones, Life on Earth and The Living Planet. In those days David Attenborough himself was in the shows; he would go to the locations and walk along and talk in his nice calm accent and point out the plants and animals. My dad, like me, was an atheist, so we didn't share any mythos of the workings of the world except the one that David Attenborough gave us: the cold, hard, fascinating, miraculous truth of evolution. To me, this was religion.

The last episode of each series was about Man on earth. Even back then, the closing message was a cautionary one: Man was changing the earth, Man was destroying nature with pollution and unchecked urbanization. My dad? Wouldn't watch that. He would turn it off and tell me that he hated that stuff. He didn't tell me that it wasn't true! But I came to understand that he felt there was a kind of wallowing, finger-wagging quality to it that simply made him cringe. Still to this day, when I see this kind of media my first thought is my dad would hate this.

To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it.

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks because I think this is exactly my dad's attitude toward everything bad in the world. This is why all talk of environmentalism, racial justice, reparations--any issue where people are seeking redress or repair of something awful that happened in the past. To make a history out of the past is taboo. To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it. To be fishing for sympathy, and for what, when there’s nothing to be done about it anyway. THAT IS MY DAD. And if you're wondering whether it also came up in the context of being raised by him, IT SURE FUCKING DID but that's a story for another time.

I think he knows that climate change is bad. I think he knows that racism is bad, and that what this nation has done to Black people is bad, and all the rest of it. But when people talk about it? When people beg for something to be done about it? Man, he just doesn't want to hear it. It makes him cringe inside. It's just unbearably awkward. In fact, I think the very hugeness of these issues, the very awfulness of what has been done and it still being done, is exactly why it's so out of line to bring them up.

So he's supporting the party that doesn't put that stuff up in his face all the time, is all. That's what I think. His reaction to the progressive agenda is just a knee jerk, gut-level negativity that has nothing to do with whether what we're asking for is good or right. He just can't stand for that asking to happen, because the MAIN value he was raised with was exactly this: you put your shoulder to the wheel and get on with things. I was talking to him about Putin or something and he said, "well, like my old ma would say, the trash still has to get taken out."

Now, for sure he has also been brainwashed by Fox News and he believes a lot of things that aren't true. But I think what initially opened the door for it was this feeling that it's just unseemly to make a fuss, to make a history out of the past.

I don't know if there's any hope, here--if being aware of this attitude can change anything. But it was comforting to me to find this clue, and maybe it can open the door to a way of talking about politics that doesn't activate his fight-or-flight response!

[arvensimp]

Hi! I've been reading your fics about Arven and you just make me fall in love with him harder than I am in. You write so beautifuly I really envy you! Very good job, this is my first request, and I hope I don't bother you with it. I love music, and I like to sing a lot, I imagine my MC who also loves singing and music with a beautiful voice, I would like to request a fic with a reader (can be gender neutral) singing to comfort Arven because he is sad, with Masbostiff joining them. (Both have a established relationship and around 20-22 years old)

Thank you!

Hello! You've come to the right place for this one lolol my masters degree is in voice performance and i've literally sung opera in different continents for the last several years.

-

That Funny Feeling

Arven x singer!reader, fluff and comfort, no genedered pronouns are used for the reader

--

Growing up in an empty house as he did, Arven never really listened to music. Sure, he's heard some of the top 40s hits that play over the radio in shops and stores over the years, and he's heard songs that students used to play in the halls when he went to the academy. Thing is, he wasn't exposed to music as a kid, so he didn't really ever seek it out as he gained autonomy.

When he started traveling with you after graduation, it was the first time you both had started spending significant amounts of time together. Sure you'd been casually dating, but you were both busy with your respective pursuits. Your time together was usually spent eating, holding hands, maybe watching a movie, cuddling, and doing other typical, couple-y things. You didn't have time to just exist with one another, which is part of what made now so special.

Because of that, Arven is a little gobsmacked to hear you one evening as you sit with your recently caught tinkatink, singing softly as you brush through her hair.

It's nothing special or over the top, you're just singing something gentle and calming, trying to lull your new pokemon into a comfortable state as you build your relationship with her, but Arven is utterly enamored. Truth be told, he feels almost voyeuristic listening in on the two of you, but he can't bring himself to move away.

When you're done with tinkatink, you move onto your scream tail who receives a similar treatment of a brushing with its bath, but this time the tune is more jovial, and Arven swears he thinks the scream tail is trying to sing along with you, though its voice isn't nearly as relaxing or sweet as a modern day jigglypuff's (or yours, he thinks).

Arven doesn't say anything that night because, truth be told, he isn't quite sure what he can, could, or should say. Do people usually sing like that? Is that a normal thing? Is complimenting you on your singing a normal thing to do, even?

As it turns out, you sing to your pokemon fairly frequently. Skeledirge often joins in with you in low, brassy tones, adding a bizarrely haunting quality to whatever it is you sing. Sometimes, 'Raidon curls up behind you, making you a nice little throne from which you sit as you sing to your pokemon during their mini grooming sessions between baths.

Arven never really joins in, but he silently loves the concerts. He starts to learn some of the tunes and words; he finds himself humming along to you sometimes. When he's alone, he even whistles one once. He didn't even realize he could do that! Sure, it was probably discordant and the wrong key (whatever that means...) but he whistled!

The two of you are walking through Socarrat Trail one day when the urge to sing strikes you, so you just...let'er rip. It's a folksy tune, perfect for crispy cool days on mountain trails, and your voice echos among the stones in an entertaining way.

You're not screaming or anything, but you're singing loudly enough for the wild pokemon to take notice. They turn, and the sudowoodo have the sense to high tail it immediately, as they would anyway. A few toedscool also seem to sense danger in the noise and decide to run away on floppy looking legs. For the most part, the other pokemon seem not to care much. Once they see that the source of the noise isn't trying to make a run at them, they go back to ignoring you.

Arven though? Arven has stopped in his tracks, eyeing you like you've just set off a bomb in the woods.

"What are you doing?!" He hisses.

"Singing?" You reply with a laugh. "I don't see a problem with it. It's not like we're bothering anyone. No other people are around, and the pokemon would've been disturbed by us, regardless."

"Y-Yeah, but... It feels wrong..."

You flush a bit, feeling embarrassed suddenly. "Oh... Sorry. I'll, uh. Stop, then." You imagine Arven wouldn't shush you like that unless the singing was bad, right? Oof, that's a faux-pas.

You spend the rest of the walk in silence.

Arven for his part, feels bad for being the one to silence you, but he isn't quite sure why. Like, you shouldn't sing in public, right? That's weird, right? Sure the song was great, and your voice is lovely, but... But that wasn't...wasn't normal, right?

Fuck, and now you're being quiet, and he isn't quite sure what to make of that, so he stays quiet, too.

That evening, Arven is eventually the one to suggest you both stop to have dinner and set up camp for the night. You only nod to his suggestion and get started on setting everything up for yourself and your pokemon. He gets started on dinner as you work on the tent and getting everyone cleaned and healed up from the day's battles.

Your pokemon, of course, notice the change in you, sensing that you're much more down than usual. Both tinkatuff (no longer tinkatink!) and scream tail both try to cajole you into a song, and skeledirge also chirrs lowly, but you quietly hush them, watching Arven's back carefully. You'd rather not embarrass yourself further by singing in front of him anymore. It hurts to think that he doesn't like your singing voice, but...well you think you like him more than you like singing.

As it turns out, Arven's pokemon also pick up on the difference, too, and Mabosstiff is quickly by your side, snuffling against your hands and side in an effort to get you to interact with him.

"Hey, bud..." You whisper to him softly, petting his sides. Mabosstiff boofs loudly twice, and you try to hush him some. "Hey... Let's be quiet for now, yeah?" Instead, Mabosstiff doubles down, baying like a smeargle. You wince and look to Arven, but he doesn't seem to mind the noise the pokemon are making. You smile and ruffle Mabosstiff's fur as he keeps singing, then you return to setting the tent up.

Like clockwork, Arven has dinner on the table as you're finishing up with the other preparations. You wait for him to finish filling the pokemons' bowls and for him to sit down at the table with you before you start eating.

It's delicious, as always, and you want to tell him as much, but you just don't have it in you to break the silence after so long.

So, Arven does.

"I... Uh, I think I messed up."

You give him a confused look, and with a mouth half full (covered by a hand, of course!) you say. "The food tastes fine?"

Arven groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "No, no. I mean, thanks, but no. I..." He sighs. "Did...Did I mess up? Or, like? Hurt your feelings or something today? I didn't mean to."

"Oh!" You look back down to your food. "Uh... I mean... I guess? You didn't mean to, but yes? It's okay though. I'm sorry you didn't like my singing. I feel bad, you know? Like it must have been really grating these last few weeks--"

"What?" He interrupts. "N-No! That's not it at all! I love your voice! It's beautiful! Like you! I-I mean. Uh..." He goes red. "I really like your voice. A lot. I...I just...well, I wasn't expecting for you to break out into song in the woods today. It caught me off guard, and...I dunno. It seemed weird?"

You bristle. "Weird?"

Arven winces. "I-I dunno! I just...wasn't expecting it, and...I dunno. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and... I dunno, it was...sad...today...without the sound of your voice..."

You feel your face heat up at his confession. "So you don't mind when I sing to the pokemon?"

"No! I really like it. I...I didn't get to listen to a lot of music as a kid, so this probably doesn't mean anything, but... You're my favorite singer ever."

So singing becomes a welcome nightly ritual, not just one that Arven feels he can observe from afar. He's never quite comfortable enough to join in with you, save for maybe humming along softly with something he knows particularly well, but you don't force the subject with him. Singing is an incredibly personal thing, after all.

Arven and you have to spend a week or so apart not long afterward. You've been called away on League duties, and he decides to busy himself with some post-graduate study at the academy with Saguaro. When you meet back up at the lighthouse on Poco Path, you can immediately tell something's wrong.

After graduating, Arven turned the old lab into a makeshift apartment for himself between journeys, and he usually keeps the place as spotless as his old dorm. Currently though, the shutters are all closed with no natural light getting in, and the usual smells of deliciously cooking food are nowhere to be found. You find Arven curled up on the sofa, Mabosstiff whimpering at his side.

"Hey...What's going on?"

"Hey...Just uh..." It's clear from the sound of his voice that he'd either been crying or is actively holding back tears. "Found some stuff...from the professor..." By the way he says it, you know he means his parent. He gestures to a notebook, left open face down on the coffee table.

You sit down next to your boyfriend, pick up the book, and scan the page. It seems Arven found a passage written about him...about how one of his parents had walked out on the other not long after he was born... He was referred to as "the boy" the whole passage... Just reading it makes your blood boil. You click your tongue disapprovingly, and Arven hiccups a silent sob.

You put an arm around him, coaxing his head into your lap. "Shh..."

"I...I must've done s-something wrong...right?"

You run your fingers through his hair, pushing away that one tuftthat's forever blocking off half of his face. "Absolutely not," You soothe in soft tones. "You were only a baby... You couldn't have done a thing... They were both just...bitter people..."

"No... No, don't say that..." He says, turning a bit into your top.

"I'm sorry... But none of this was your fault, okay?"

He nods against you, digging his fingers into your side.

You keep petting his head, doing your best in the moment to soothe his aching heart. Mabosstiff similarly stretches out, putting more of his weight onto Arven, assuring him of his presence.

There as you sit in the quiet, with Arven trying to steady his breathing and swallow down the lump in his throat, you start to sing. It's hushed, like a lullaby, but with a melancholic longing. There's catharsis in singing music like this through a broken heart. Arven lets his tears fall silently as you sing to him. Between the sound of you, your touch in his hair, and Mabosstiff's weight on him, he stays tethered to the earth, present and safe and loved.

[solarwynd]

https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/753978256097673216/its-a-shame-that-the-only-way-jimin-can-get-a?source=share

I think the route BTS themselves took themselves was a good one. They built their discography on iconic songs and interesting concepts and they worked hard to build up their song list. As they got more famous they started doing some good collabs with famous western artists like Nicki Minaj, Steve aoki and Halsey. Then they finally released their first English song and it exploded their fame. I personally think they got burnt out towards the end and that affected their music quality but I think overall their journey was great.

While all the guys are already famous, I don't think it's a bad idea to build up their solo repertoire before jumping into some big name collab or some transparent mainstream attention grab song. It's the difference if BTS had released Dynamite in the beginning of the career. We cut them a lot of slack for their English songs even though they're not the greatest because we know their capability.

Also even if songs go viral, a lot of artists fade after the trend passes and this is usually because even though they get their moment of fame, they're either unable to capitalize off of that with their next work or gain any proper fans because their older body of work just isn't very interesting.

Unfortunately there is a lot of currency given to simply being young and having spent most of his twenties being in BTS and now being enlisted, it does feel like we're racing against a ticking clock for him to become as famous as a solo artist as he is for being in BTS. I've always thought this was Hybe's logic for basically no-selling the members solo careers save one. However I do hope and think Jimin proves himself to be one of the artists who have lasting power. While I do find him lovely and adore his personality and think he looks amazing, the thing I connect with most has always been his music and I think that's true for a lot of fans, so I definitely think he has the potential to last as a big artist for a long time.

“Unfortunately there is a lot of currency given to simply being young and having spent most of his twenties being in BTS and now being enlisted, it does feel like we're racing against a ticking clock for him to become as famous as a solo artist as he is for being in BTS.”

I do get what you mean but I feel like the world outside of standom isn’t as fickle about age. There’s so many artists that are BTS’ current ages that have solid careers right now. And of course there are the veterans that are even older. I don’t believe that there is a “clock” on Jimin making a name for himself as a solo artist. Partly because I believe that he already has (even though I acknowledge that his discography still needs a lot more fleshing out to really cement himself) and also because good music doesn’t cancel out just because you’re in your 30’s.

Plus Jimin’s always been his own brand outside of BTS. Even before the group even blew up he always had recognition. The group has never over shadowed him.

“Also even if songs go viral, a lot of artists fade after the trend passes and this is usually because even though they get their moment of fame, they're either unable to capitalize off of that with their next work or gain any proper fans because their older body of work just isn't very interesting.”

Very good point.

Don’t think this really applies to Jimin though, because for one already has a strong solo fanbase, The songs outside of Like Crazy in his discography are also great and considered staples. Nobody could ever call Jimin a one hit wonder, even if Who doesn’t get as big as Like Crazy did.

I also would love for Jimin’s solo career to go on for a long time as well. People say it all the time but Jimin’s trajectory is so similar to BTS’. The genuine love he has for music, the effort, the artistry he’s able to come up with. He’s honestly the group’s true heir in my eyes.

[tetrakys]

I'm sorry it's been a hot minute since I interacted with the fandom but what is happening with Eldarya??? Also what is call of the dragon?? 👀

Oh boy anon... where to start?!

Let me try to draw a timeline...

1. The company decided to cut Eldarya in two seasons, move Lance's introduction as LI to season 2, remove other LIs and give the game to another creator since around episode 22 of TO. Since then Chino has stopped working on Eldarya and, this is my personal opinion, the person who took over had no interest in romance because since then the only romantic interactions we've had in Eldarya have been a few random sex scenes. No deep dialogues, no dates, no cuddling, not even kissing except maybe one or two exceptions and this has continued all the way through season 2.

2. In March 2021 the company hosting Beemoov's servers in Europe caught fire. Beemoov's servers were destroyed, fortunately most backups were in another building so all their games and accounts were saved except for... you guess it, Eldarya. All European language accounts were lost and the american and brazillian servers were the only ones who got spared. We all lost our accounts and the company had to come up with a way to bring people back to the game. They created a new free currency for TO and opened a shop for a few months. This led to the first season becoming completely unprofitable, plus lots of people never came back since then. Mostly old players who used to spend money on their collections.

3. New games started to be developped, Uncoven and Henri's Secret season 2. The "new" Eldarya creator went off to write Uncoven at the same time as still being theoretically in charge of Eldarya. The company started to recycle events mechanics both in MCL and Eldarya so everyone has been unhappy with events in both games because they are extremely repetitive since basically two years.

4. ANE's writing has gone more and more downhill. It'd started decently but because the writer was new and had no idea what happened in TO nor what were Chino's characters backhrounds and history, the story is full of plot holes, contraddicting things all the time and all the characters' personalities have changed. It reads like a different game.

5. Lots of people have left, very few are playing the game at this point, and even less are spending money on it, so it's very very obvious that the company is just letting it die, the game is often bugged and the art quality is a hit or miss. Only 2 episodes are left at this point. Fans who still cling to it are angry. Fans who abandoned are sad. No one wants to play ANE anymore but lots of people wish there was a revamp of the game once ANE ends, with good writing and art. However, because the game isn't making money right now the company won't invest in something that is not profitable.

This is it I think 🤔

About your last question, Eldarya: the Dragon's Call is a story I'm writing and publishing on my AO3. The main plot is Chinomiko's and we brainstorm together all events and characters' backgrounds and personalities. This is the story of Lance's route and Valkyon’s routes if she were to make Alternate Eldarya games. Because at the moment this isn't planned I asked her if I could write it and share it with people and she kidly said yes. If the company ever decides to make Alternate Eldarya games I will delete it. If you want to read this story, links are in the pinned post in my blog, I've released 4 chapters so far and the 5th is coming this weekend ☺️

[oxygen-stealer]

I've got many many thoughts on resurrected Terzo :)))

More sketches and LOTS of headcanons below the cut

(Click for better quality btw)

So to start my explanation of how he could've even been brought back in the first place is because- yknow that hammer they hit head popes with to make sure they're dead? Yeah well the people embalming him didn't do that because he was decapitated and they figured that was probably a good indication that he was actually dead.

Well later on, The Clergy is starting to get a bit nervous with all of the power Copia seems to be growing into and they're looking for a plan B despite being out of heirs. Commence resurrection.

Upon first being revived, Terzo immediately lashes out, catching Sister Imperator with his claws. He's literally been in hell for five years and it shows in the fear on his face.

His skin is paler, greener. He smells of formaldehyde, his head is hastily stitched on his neck. Being in hell has also embedded slight demonic energy into him, it seems like the world warps around him, like his power leeches into the ground he walks on. He has flashes of his memories of hell but he generally tries not to think about it.

Now I also want you to imagine this:

Imagine you're a guy in a very high position of power that never really feels like he's good enough, then eventually you're forcibly retired and killed for not being good enough by people that should technically be below you and your asshole dad. Then suddenly you're dragged out of your glorious afterlife in hell because those same bozos want you to replace your absolute sweetheart younger brother (he's actually your brother now too???) because they also maybe want to kill him. And to top it all off your favorite ghoul was tossed back into the Pit like he was nothing right after you died.

You'd be pissed off right? Yeah well that's where Terzo is at.

All of his usual charm and whimsy takes a backseat for a low burning rage. He doesn't bother giving any of the siblings of sin the time of day anymore. The Clergy quickly recognizes that this was a terrible idea because this guy hates them even more than he did before and is one more situation away from snapping and taking someone back to hell with him. Maybe Copia, even as the antichrist, wasn't actually that bad.

Regardless, Terzo reluctantly becomes Papa again through some loopholes regarding living papas and what not. His new album takes a significantly darker, angrier tone than any other. Imagine the darker sounds of Cirice through most of the album. I'd argue that kinda darkness was very much present in Meliora but even that had some zest for life within it. Now, like, this music is made by a guy that literally died horribly and went to hell. This album is haunting.

During rituals he tries to kinda act like his old self because he does love his fans but you can kinda tell it's not the same ("heeyyy guyyyys I'm back :))" *barely contained rage*). You can also tell all of the ghouls are quite a bit more on edge than they were with Copia, you can cut the tension with a knife.

(The ghouls are not really concerned about Terzo himself, but rather what it means for Copia and themselves. They're concerned that the clergy's trying really hard to throw them all out. Which they are. Also none of these ghouls have really been around the other Papas, and they know Copia has been unusually friendly with them, so they're a bit weary about acting wildly as they usually would)

Really there are only two people Terzo isn't mad at. First, probably the only benefit of all of this in his mind is getting to see Copia again and getting to witness how much his awkward little brother (they actually were brothers too! He jokes he that he always knew it) has really grown into his skin as Papa. They catch up for hours, Terzo meets Copia's ghouls, they talk about his music, they talk shit about Nihil, reminisce, etc. It's been the one good thing about all of this. Terzo is heartbroken that he was taking Copia out of the spotlight because it seemed like he had grown into it so well.

And the other of course is Omega. Apparently, all of Terzo's ghouls had been thrown back into the pit almost the same day he'd died, but it was believed that Omega himself had killed a sibling of sin beforehand and left their body as an omen, greatly straining the relationship between the ministry and ghouls as a whole. Despite this, Terzo doesn't once stop asking for him. If they're going to bring him back they could've at least had the foresight to give him any kind of motivation to stay. He'll summon him himself if he needs to dammit.

In all honesty he misses him and the rest of his ghouls dearly. You'd think they'd be able to be together in hell but the reality is the different layers of hell aren't actually something most are meant to pass through unless you're a 13th century italian poet. So Terzo really hasn't seen any of them since he was alive and it weighs heavily on him. He knows wanting to summon Omega again is probably selfish and that his time back on earth is likely to be very limited, but he finds it difficult to think of anything else. (Omega would be thrilled, but the ache of being left again would still linger. He should've stopped to think about all of this before falling in love with a mortal but it's too late for that now isn't it?)

Of course, nothing lasts forever and Terzo's revived body gives out after a good handful of months. It's a wonder he didn't take anyone with him on his way out or that the Clergy didn't take him out themselves. That whole situation was a bit of a disaster so the Clergy decides that maybe Copia isn't that bad for now. Until they come up with something better at least.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2023

What a weird year for pop music, full of strange trends, confusing garbage and unexpected hits. Once again, even if the charts don’t always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow closely.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

A lot of bad stuff happened to me this year (several accidents in a row, and also my cat died) but some good stuff too, thank goodness. I only went to two concerts this year (Bloodywood and BMTH), but they were both absolutely amazing. Pretty sure the Bring Me The Horizon one was the best concert I ever went to, actually, and there's a lot of competition considering all the great ones I went to in 2022. I'm just sad 100 gecs had to cancel theirs, I was really looking forward to it. Oh well.

Let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2023, and oh my, that's a long list already.

Albums

Starting as usual with stuff that disappointed me: Depeche Mode's Memento Mori was... actually it was all right, but I miss the days when I could get excited about a new Depeche Mode album, I really do.

Pink Tape by Lil Uzi Vert was a giant fucking mess. There's some absolute bangers on it, and then you get to the next track and it's the worst thing you've ever heard. Which makes for an interesting listening experience, for sure, but one I'm in no hurry to repeat. At least it's never boring.

After the Magic by Parannoul isn't exactly my cup of tea, but you should definitely listen to it once, I think. It's something special. It might grow on me, though, because I only listened to it for the first time last month.

On the other hand, I listened to Scaring the hoes by Jpegmafia and Danny Brown a while ago, and while this one is definitely not my cup of tea, it's also a ton of fun and I don't feel like a single second of my time was wasted on it. You should listen to it for the samples alone, and just out of sheer curiosity if nothing else.

A kiss for the whole world by Enter Shikari is a weird beast, because the singles are absolutely incredible, but then the rest is a big pile of nothing (at least in my opinion). But the singles, man. I really don't know how to judge it as a whole, the quality is on a rollercoaster.

Kind of the same thing happened with Electric Sun by VNV Nation, one of my favorite bands of all times if not my favorite, if you recall. Some tracks completely floored me, the rest was meh. Oh well. Noire was so incredibly good that I can live with an average VNV album dropping after it.

Fanfare by Dorian Electra was full of absolute bangers but... I don't know, there's some of the madness of the previous record missing. And yes, I'm saying the album containing the minion line (you know the one) is more serious than My Agenda. Go figure. But it's still very good!

Two different friends told me to listen to 4D by Blank Banshee, so I did, obviously. Great electro album. Send tweet

I'm not entirely sure what to think of Atta by Sigur Rós. I cried several times while listening to it for the first time and it's a genuinely impressive series of tracks, but it's also so devastating I've only relistened to it twice since then.

I only discovered Svalbard a couple of years ago, and this year they dropped The weight of the mask, which might be even better than their previous album. It's mostly about depression and trying to fake normality while being depressed. Not a very pleasant topic, and yet this is full of energy and... hope? Everything sounds unbearably bright and between the screams, you feel like everything will be better eventually. Great stuff.

Speaking of depression, there's also No joy by Spanish Love Songs. If you recall their previous album was my album of the year a few lists ago. Their sound changed slightly, and at times it almost sounds like The Killers, but not in a bad way. There's a couple of tracks I don't like very much, but the writing is still on point, and some tracks are among my faves I put in the "unelligible songs" part.

Census Designated by Jane Remover, on the other hand, came out of nowhere just to kick me in the face. I don't even know what to say about that one. Go listen to it.

I found Gunship almost by accident a few months ago, and they immediately dropped a new album, called Unicorn. It's just a huge pile of great synthpop through and through - if you don't mind a couple of really stupid lines (godddd that third track is full of them). The other downside is that it's way too long (more than an hour), and if it was up to me, I'd remove at least four tracks from it. Unlike...

...10000 gecs by, who else, 100 gecs. It's less than half an hour long and it's so fun and so varied in its sounds and so stupid while still being incredibly well produced. For the longest time I couldn't decide which one of the last five albums on this list was my favorite, and then I relistened to all of them in a row and felt compelled to play this one a second time after I was done. Definitely worth the wait.

Unelligible Songs

This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill. I also have to mention that two songs from previous lists (The Magic Key by One-T and Dernière Danse by Kyo 2003 represents) recharted this year for some unfathomable reason.

Gonna start with my fave tracks on some of the albums I already mentioned. Because why not.

The only song I consider great on the Depeche Mode album was People are good which sounds like character development considering People are people also exists

Speaking of Depeche Mode, one band arguably out-depeche-moded them this year so let me introduce you to ††† (Crosses) with Ghost ride, Invisible hand and Holier

Lil Uzi Vert is next with Suicide doors and its deranged intro immediately followed by FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR BITCH then Uzi following that by stating they're the Crow. Yes, really. Also there's Werewolf, literally a Bring Me The Horizon song with Lil Uzi Vert on it, and if I had a nickel every time that happened this year I'd have two nickels, which isn't much but-

Wait let me interrupt this list with another song called Werewolf which I've listened to WAY too much this year. It's the kind of song you listen to ironically at first but after the tenth time that happens you realise it's no longer ironic and you love it for real. Seeing Motionless In White live kinda helped, not gonna lie, but still

For Enter Shikari, we have A kiss for the whole world, Bloodshot, and especially [pls] set me on fire, which might be one of my most listened to tracks of 2023, actually

VNV Nation had Wait, Invictus, and Artifice, which are all absolute bangers in my opinion. Ronan is angry and we love to hear it

By the way this year Pink released an extremely VNV-like song called Trustfall and it's very good but also uncanny

Kylie Minogue is also doing something vaguely similar with Hold on to now but in a more mainstream normal way btw

And then for something completely different, we have Dorian Electra singing about obsessive fans on Symphony, fame on Wanna be a star, and most importantly writing anon hate and immediately deleting it on anon

Run is the first track of the Blank Banshee album I rec'd and it's only one minute long so listen to it maybe

Technically I can recommend Gold if you want some taste of the Sigur Rós album but you need to listen to the entire album to get the full crushing effect

Svalbard isn't going to lighten up the mood with How to Swim Down and Faking it

Neither is Spanish Long Songs with Clean-up crew, Marvel, Here you are and Lifers, the last one being notable for having what's possibly my fave bridge of the entire year, and all of them for being endlessly quotable. Stay alive out of spite everyone

Also not lightening up the mood is Jane Remover with Census Designated on the album also called Census Designated

But what's this? It's Gunship with a steel chair trying to punch some joy into this list with Holographic heart, Nuclear Date Night, Taste like venom and Monster in paradise!!

And the gecs with a second steel ch- wait no it's a plastic chair shaped like a frog. Anyway here's Dumbest girl alive and Hollywood baby, and both of them go wayyy harder than they have any rights to

ok that was a lot of songs already. Here's Everything goes on by Porter Robinson as a palate cleanser

Also the first reggaeton song to ever end on one of my playlists, Sci-fi by Tainy and Rauw Alejandro

Also I'm gonna put a gif here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post something with such a long uninterrupted list in it

Ok back to the list of recs

Let's get the humiliation out of the way and say that this year I listened to Raining blood but it's super emo more than I ever listened to Raining blood in all my years combined

Oh yeah and Linkin Park released some old (finished and unfinished) tracks from the Meteora era and I'm kinda pissed off cause Lost missed the year end list. Fighting myself is excellent too, and if you want a really heartwrenching unfinished track, Resolution has a giant Chester-shaped hole where its chorus should be and the lyrics make it even worse. You're welcome

Possibly the most mainstream song on this entire rec list but I'm also pissed off Bad Idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo didn't chart enough to count for my top ten hit songs

I can offer you Eat the acid by Kesha if you want an awesome but mildly disturbing listening experience

For some electro/future pop here's Head over heels by Solitary Experiments

Wait there's also Bring the noise by Neuroticfish

Over is there if you need some Chvrches doing some Chvrching

Justice for Gladiator by Jann

Pointing at Even Jesus got the blues by Gabe Lee and saying I would listen to more country if it sounded half as good as that song, not like anyone cares

Holding on to nothing by Sierra. Send tweet

Northwind + Sky-colored dream by Strawberry Hospital and Parasite Heart is just seven minutes of cool pastel screams

And for an absolute goth banger everyone collectively decided to ignore here's Train to Harlem by Korine

I can't get enough of Nosebleeder by Lil Lotus and that's probably mildly embarrassing at my age but I've decided to stay mildly embarrassing forever

kisses by Slowdive if you want vibes and vibes only

Blood and sugar by Boys Like Girls if, like me, you want something that sounds exactly like The 1975

Choose your fighter by Ava Max if you want something that sounds exactly like Barbie Girl

I really wish I could explain what my feelings are every time I listen to The King by Anjimile but the only thing I'm sure about is that I'm feeling something a LOT and that it's terrifying

On a lighter note here's Mall rat by Durry, a very upbeat pop punk song about mall goth teenagers having fun and it's extremely good, listen to it immediately if you're having a bad day

And as some of you might have expected because of that previous gif, we're gonna finish with some Bring Me The Horizon, who have joined my list of favorite bands alarmingly quickly (that new album can't drop soon enough), and let's just say LosT and especially AmEN! were some of my absolute fave non-hit songs this year. Seriously. What the fuck was that.

And now, some elligible hits that didn't make the list.

Honorable Mentions

Tiki Taka (Vacra) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years.

Shining Light (Aime Simone) - I wish I liked that artist more.

Unholy (Sam Smith & Kim Petras) - At first I didn't like this one, and then I headcanoned Kim Petras as a girl in a confessional and Sam Smith as the priest on the other side looking concerned but also weirdly into it, and suddenly it was a really funny song.

Dance the night away (Dua Lipa) - I'm pretty sure that's the song Chained to the Rhythm by Katy Perry is talking about

Casanova (Soolking) - This is a borderline guilty pleasure, and also it sounds like Magic System. Which is a bonus, by the way.

Calm Down (Rema) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 2: the sequel

Rush (Ayra Starr) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 3: the sequel to the sequel

Strangers (Kenya Grace) - Very good low-key track to play when you're driving at night

Bloody Mary (Lady Gaga) - What can I say. It's Lady Gaga. It's good.

I remember everything (Zach Bryan) - And for "songs that would be on the list if I had good taste-"

Going going gone (Luke Combs) - The last cut from the list. Great earworm, good writing.

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

This is a very solid list, actually. All of these things are still on some of my playlists to this day.

10 - Bad Habit (Steve Lacy)

US: #39 / FR: Not on the list

This was the last cut from my 2022 top 10 and it was a painful one, so imagine my joy when I saw it was elligible for this year's list too! Welcome back, Steve Lacy, your little song is still an earworm and a half even after all this time.

9 - Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift)

US: #18 / FR: Not on the list

I have no idea how a song that rhymes "oh woah oh" with "summer" can sound so good. Well played, madam. Well played.

8 - Star Walkin' (Lil Nas X)

US: Not on the list / FR: #67

Not the best Lil Nas X song by a mile, and still quite good! It plays a lot at the gym for some reason. The hype is real, even after hearing it pretty much every hour on the hour. And despite that weird, weird line about his dad.

Very surprised it's not on the US year-end list, by the way.

7 - Vois sur ton chemin (Bennett)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69

If you're creeped out by the AI-generated kids in the music video, I think that's kind of the point, which is why I can tolerate it for once.

Anyway, this is a remix of a choir song about lost kids, originally from a retro movie called Les Choristes which came out back when I was a teenager. And now it's been turned into a somewhat creepy techno remix of itself, and you know what's bad about that? Not a single thing actually. Play it again.

6 - Fast Car (covered by Luke Combs)

US: #8 / FR: Not on the list

If you remember correctly, Fast Car was the number one song of the very first list I made in this series (1988). And since this cover is so similar to the original song, I considered making it non-elligible for this list. I counted it in the end but put it kinda low compared to the original. It's only fair.

5 - Anti-hero (Taylor Swift)

US: #4 / FR: Not on the list

I was pretty indifferent to this one at the beginning of the year, but it slowly but surely grew on me. Everything has already been said about this song. So yeah, it's very good. I like it. It's on the list.

Moving on!

4 - Substitution (Purple Disco Machine x Kungs)

US: Not on the list / FR: #56

Some songs just make you want to move every single time you hear them, without fail. The thing is, this one plays a LOT on the radio in public settings, so catch me dancing in the aisles of the local supermarket every time it's on. It's like some memetic SCP bullshit.

At this point, it should be possible to make a great playlist with all the best retro-sounding hits we got in the past five years or so - and yeah, put this one on it too, for sure.

3 - Miracle (Ellie Goulding, Calvin Harris)

US: Not on the list / FR: #51

At some point this was my number one, and can you really blame me? An Ellie Goulding song with a drop that sounds exactly like a Robert Miles track? Really?

Then I realised I loved Robert Miles' tracks because of that dreamy piano/synth melody they all have, and that this song only had a drop/musical chorus that sounded like that, so something was missing. Oh well. Still a fantastic dance track, though.

2 - Escapism (Raye)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

Welcome to the other side of most of The Weeknd songs, I guess, but that's also what makes this track so compelling. The intro sounds like anxiety, and even when the song gets more pleasant to listen to it just never goes completely away - just like in the lyrics, in fact. Well written, well produced, everything is on point and if I had better taste it would probably be number one on this list.

Alas, I am what I am.

1 - Just wanna rock (Lil Uzi Vert)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

At some point, this was the third song on the list. Why shouldn't it be? It's so brainless compared to Escapism, and laughably short compared to Miracle. It's just a fragment of a song. It sounds like the intro of a track that will never start.

It's also by far my most replayed hit song on this entire top ten list and I can't justify that in any way. So yeah, putting anything else here felt like lying to myself. The fact it never really starts also means the hype never really ends. Going "daaaaaaaaaaaamn" along with Uzi's distorted vocals is so satisfying.

I just wanna rock, man. What a vibe. See you next year!

[chaosincurate]

My top 40 albums

Find out more about the albums and my thoughts on them below!

So I've been gone a little while, and part of that just comes from demotivation from a feeling that the work I'm putting in is going to waste, at least in the way I'm doing it, but most of it was the fact I was doing this. Turns out listening to about 50 albums and making a top 40 out of them isn't a quick done-in-a-month project. Whodathunk?

Sidebar: Anyway, I'll get into the write-ups in just a second, but I want to establish something first: this list is very subjective and one of the most obvious ways that shows itself is in regard to the ages of these albums. I grew up in the 00s and 10s and generally find it difficult to really connect with a lot of highly acclaimed and influential releases from before then. I never got into The Beatles all that much, I don't get the hype around Pet Sounds, and Nico & The Velvet Underground largely underwhelmed me. I don't doubt the artistry, I just feel like a lot of that music is very of a time that I have no real connection to, so it always ends up being a very analytical listen as opposed to one where I am just enjoying the album. Because of that, the albums on this list skew newer. A lot newer. I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not saying "old music bad" by excluding so many of them. It's a me thing. Anyway, onto the list!

40. Fall Out Boy - Folie a Deux

Genre: Emo Alternative-Rock Highlights: Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet, I Don't Care, What a Catch, Donnie

For me, this album comes across as a funeral for the emo scene of the 00s. Shortly after this, Fall Out Boy would go on hiatus and haven't been the same since in my humble opinion, Paramore would go on to absolutely kill it with a shiny new sound, Panic! At the Disco would become a one-man ego trip, and My Chemical Romance released what is to this day their last album. All that being said, this doesn't come across as somber. Yes, there is a little angst, there's an acknowledgement of the unfairness of it all, hell, there's even a few guests making things awkward with their self-destructive depression. But despite it all, you get the impression that there is something to celebrate here.

39. Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Genre: Indie Rock Highlights: 505, Fluorescent Adolescent

Any album that has 505 on it is gonna be a good one in my book. There's a reason it's a fan favourite. It perfectly balances the depiction of fawning anticipation with the need to keep things interesting enough that the listener can actually get to the payoff. It's immaculate, but that isn't all that the album has to offer.

Throughout the whole album, there's a little added complexity where the rawness of their debut once was, and sure, I prefer the debut, but it makes this a distinct enough experience that you aren't going to constantly feel like you'd rather listen to your preferred album, which I find is a trap that many young artists end up falling into. It still keeps a lot of what made the debut so exciting though, which is also a virtue, as much as I do love a lot of their later experimentation.

38. David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

Genre: Glam Rock Highlights: Moonage Daydream, Hang on to Yourself, Starman

There are a lot of reasons this is a must-listen for any prospective or established rock fan, and the quality isn't even the main one in my opinion. Yes, this album is fantastic - so fantastic in fact that I had a tough time picking just a few highlights - but it's an album that, whether it hits for you or not, will tell you so much about what you do and don't like in the broad umbrella genre that is rock music. That trait is a result of the sheer amount of early exploration and pioneering Bowie does on this record. It's all close enough that it feels like a uniform experience, but you've got early templates for the all-out anthemic rock sounds with the likes of Moonage Daydream, a more dynamic, yet still anthemic style with Starman, the rock ballad of Rock 'n' Roll Suicide, and the early punk stylings of Hang on to Yourself. It makes for a great beginners guide to rock music, or simply further vindication and understanding from more experienced listeners who may just have a blind spot with Bowie.

And all of that upside comes in a rock opera package with a loose but coherent story.

37. Sampha - Lahai

Genre: Alternative R&B Highlights: Suspended, Spirit 2.0, Only

If you put a gun to my head and told me I could only use one word to describe this album, that word would probably be 'thoughtful'. Fortunately though, there's no gun to my head, so I'll expand on that.

First, the lyricism consistently comes across as mature and enlightened in the most humble way possible. It's similar to the Kendrick album he featured on in that way: Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. It reads as someone taking your hand and calmly guiding you through difficulty in life, as opposed to a self-indulgent lecture, and it's very easy to get something wrong and have a well-intentioned message come across as the latter if you aren't very thoughtful about your approach.

Then there are the instrumentals, which I've described before as something akin to a living thing. There is so much relaxed intricacy to the sound that all weaves together so naturally that it sounds like a melodic breath of some beautiful fantasy creature that you can't fully understand. It's what makes writing about it so difficult: it's got to be all about the emotion it evokes, not how it's evoked, because understanding how it works is both difficult and feels like dissecting a magnificent creature.

36. Denzel Curry - Melt My Eyez, See Your Future

Genre: Conscious Hip Hop Highlights: Walkin', X-Wing

If you've ever tried to dive in at the deep end of a genre that you've not listened to much of before, you'll know how I felt listening to this for the first time when it came out a couple years ago. To be clear, this isn't the most hip that ever did hop or anything, but it's a pure enough form of the genre that I didn't really know how to really approach it outside of the very surface level interaction of listening to it and either liking the album or not liking the album. Even individual tracks didn't stand out to me that much because I simply didn't speak the metaphorical language of this genre, so my feelings were essentially all vibes based. I bring that up to say that revisiting it with a little more experience under my belt made me worried that I wouldn't like it as much this time. As you can tell, I had nothing to worry about.

Melt My Eyez, See Your Future is a fantastic album about continuing to mature while comfortably into adulthood, exploring trauma, and criticizing various elements of culture that made growth difficult. It's intelligent, thoughtful, and the touch of psychedelia in the sound of the album pairs incredibly well with the lyrics about self-realization.

35. IDLES - Joy as an Act of Resistance

Genre: Art Punk Highlights: Never Fight a Man with a Perm, Samaritans, Television

Joy as an Act of Resistance is exactly what the title suggests and a little more: a punk album about how, despite everything, joy is very powerful. There is a particularly refreshing angle to that though, as throughout the album there are moments where it becomes explicit that this is from the perspective of someone who has felt pressure to live up to patriarchally masculine ideals of stoicism, and some focus is given to how that is harmful to men beyond the simplistic buzzwords that get thrown around so we don't have to actually talk about it. It's rare and important that men are told, as men, that they can and should express all emotions, including joy, and the fact that it's purpose beyond the personal benefit is so clearly laid out is the cherry on top.

To be clear though, this isn't a pushover punk record, not by any means. The vibe of the album is well summed up in the line "this snowflake's an avalanche". A bold statement on how an emotionally enlightened community can become a powerful force for good, especially en masse.

34. Arctic Monkeys - Humbug

Genre: Indie Rock, Psychedelic Rock Highlights: Cornerstone, Crying Lightning, The Jeweller's Hands

The first sign of real experimentation from Arctic Monkeys was one that disappointed me personally on first listen, but eventually grew on me, with the leisurely pace that most of this album is moving at. It's a really laid-back listen for the most part, one that invites the total opposite experience to that which they were - and, arguably in the UK, still are - known for. Where they once kept it fairly light on the thoughtful aspects in favour of an adrenaline-pumping, raw rock sound, they were now placing intricacy, both in songwriting and lyricism, at the forefront.

As I alluded to, it took some getting used to, I was a fan of the fast-paced Arctic Monkeys of their debut and sophomore attempts first and foremost, but now that it's finally clicked, I can appreciate the boldness on both an analytical level, and an emotional one.

33. Paramore - This Is Why

Genre: Post-punk Highlights: Figure 8, Running Out Of Time, This Is Why

This is why I love Paramore. They have such a creative integrity about them that is on full display here. While their contemporaries have turned into desperate trend-chasers or cheap nostalgia acts, Paramore keep reinventing themselves with a sense of sincere curiosity and adventure, while also nailing every single sound they've attempted. This newest sound is a natural progression from their initial sound almost, taking the maturity of their albums post-punk-sound and combining it with elements of their pop-punk roots, adding some extra musical complexity, and coming out with a post-punk album that feels like such a natural fit that in retrospect it seemed inevitable.

But all of that is pretty conceptual. It tells you where it sits in Paramore's discography, and that of their 00's pop-punk contemporaries, but not how the album holds up on it's own. Naturally, with it being on a list like this, I'm going to say it holds up well, but this is a question of why, not if, and I think there are plenty of reasons. First I'll start with Hayley Williams' lyrics, which are, as they have been for a while, refreshingly emotionally mature. Then there's the willingness to try out some really unique guitar sounds and effects for a band this popular. They really push the instrument further than most things you expect to chart. I'm trying to keep this brief, so I'll aim my last compliment towards the vocals, particularly on Figure 8. There's such a visceral strain that makes it hit so hard.

32. Michael Jackson - Thriller

Genre: Dance Pop Highlights: Billie Jean, Thriller, Beat It

Is a write-up really necessary for this one? It's held in high regard as one of the best pop albums - if not the best - and it is a well-earned title. This album is stacked. There are the three highlights I've listed above, sure, but I feel like it'd be sacrilegious not to mention the likes of P.Y.T., Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', Baby Be Mine... Basically anything but The Girl Is Mine feels like it warrants a mention here. It's all Thriller, no filler. If you haven't listened to it, what are you even doing reading a music blog for music recommendations? Go listen to it. Learn simple addition before learning about the niche shit that'll never come up in your daily life. And when you've done that, you can thank me and we can talk about stuff that's a little more niche. Seriously though, how haven't you heard this yet? Don't they play it when you come out of the womb?

Anyway, yeah, good album, Billie Jean is a masterpiece (and has aged very well considering we now know that he was more likely to sleep with the child than the mother), but you probably knew that already.

31. Arcade Fire - Funeral

Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Rock Highlights: Neighborhood #1: Tunnels, Wake Up, Rebellion (Lies)

I don't think I've ever known an album to be so against the idea of you listening to songs from it individually. Don't get me wrong, I've heard better album experiences, more cohesive, better paced, more highly conceptual albums, but something about this album screams "don't you dare listen to a song off this thing. It's all or nothing". I really I can't even put my finger on why, exactly, but what I can tell you is that it makes a write-up significantly harder. Usually I can draw on my long history of casual listens to individual tracks to pick out highlights and to get a more intimate understanding of the sound of an album, but here, I've only got a handful of excellent experiences with the album that were, frankly, pretty spread out to go off.

What I can offer using that experience though, is that this album embodies a certain emotion really well, and that's the feeling of running away from home after the situation there has become untenable. It's not really something I'd call an explicit theme, but there are moments where it feels like a bittersweet nostalgia, like the feeling of someone describing a video game as a sanctuary from early familial turmoil. It's a focus on something warm in the blistering cold of a hard life.

30. King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King

Genre: Prog Rock, Art Rock Highlight: 21st Century Schizoid Man

45 minutes, 5 songs. That should give you some idea of how this album sounds. Each song is it's own sprawling, epic masterpiece. It spends minutes that would typically be spent on a song or two simply teasing you with playful mid-song solos that feel incomplete, only to then give you the full picture you got used to in the beginning in a satisfying explosion, bringing with it a new drive to propel the songs over the finishing line. There are of course variations on that formula to add the slight freshness required to keep these five tracks from getting stale, but regardless, you will need to approach this with patience, and if you can do that, it'll reward you for it tenfold.

29. Paramore - After Laughter

Genre: New Wave, Synthpop Highlights: Hard Times, 26, Idle Worship

I have a lot of love for After Laughter. It was one of the first albums I remember actively listening to on it's release, and was a superb example for me of a band radically changing their style in a way that feels sincere following a wave of albums that seemed like cashgrabs to a 16-year-old me. And I liked it plenty back then, sure, but it's grown on me massively in the years since then.

The way the whole album appears to be built around the concept of smiling through pain, putting on a happy act when you feel like your world is crumbling around you... It's awe-inspiring. I've mentioned it before, but the way you are pulled into that groove in the first 5 songs on the album, getting comfortable with the idea of happy pop songs with a darker underbelly, 26 comes in and absolutely blindsides you with a rare moment of lyrical-musical harmony as Hayley Williams sings about her regrets surrounding the pessimism she espoused and bought into, and how she feels trapped by it in the present. It's brutal. And then, while you're sitting with that, you're thrust right into the peppiest song on the album yet in Pool, which leaves you feeling the exact emotions the album is built around. I caught myself thinking "Wow, that's really fucked me up, but this is a really upbeat song, I'm not in the right headspace here, I gotta cheer up". I don't know if it's intentional, and the fact that the A-side ends on 26 when listening on vinyl leads me to believe it wasn't, but it's powerful all the same.

Other than that though, as much as I've seen opinions to the contrary, I believe this album is remarkably consistent. I even love the experimental spoken word track No Friend. It also happens to be an excellent showing of the band's versatility. It doesn't get much further from Riot than this, and it still just seems so effortless for them. Like a second nature. It's crazy. This is why Paramore are the sleeper GOATs of the 2000s pop punk movement.

28. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

Genre: Indie Rock Highlights: When the Sun Goes Down, I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor, The View From the Afternoon

The first effort from Arctic Monkeys being this good was a blessing and a curse all at once. It feels harsh to say they peaked with their first album, but in this case, I mean it as a positive. I still love the newer stuff from them, even their very divisive most recent album The Car, but the energy of this one can't be denied. It takes you by the wrist and charges forward at full pelt, prepared to drag you along if you can't keep up, and only really gives you a couple breathers.

It's because of that pace though, that one of my favourite aspects of the album often gets overlooked (even by myself initially), and that's the lyrics of the album. Now, sure, they aren't pure poetry or anything, and Alex Turner does go on to improve in that regard, but it all sticks to the theme of a young Brit's night out, and paints the picture fantastically, with all the awkwardness and charm that comes along with it.

27. Regina Spektor - Soviet Kitsch

Genre: Anti-Folk, Chamber Pop Highlights: Us, Chemo Limo, Ode to Divorce

I've written a lot about this album since starting this blog about 18 months ago, and I'm frankly running out of new things to say. If you want my in-depth write up about the album, I did one towards the end of last year, but to keep it simple, the highlight for me is the really cool and unique lyrical style in which Spektor phrases simple things in a strange enough way that you're forced to actually engage with the simple truths that often get abstracted by modern life. She doesn't say something you're likely to have heard before, like "people don't care about you as much as you do", she says "people are just people like you". The former is used in such a way that it's easy to ignore based on how people have used it before (after all, some people just are judgemental, which isn't always acknowledged). But when Spektor says "people are just people like you", it's prompting you to think about yourself acting in the way you expect others to, and how you wouldn't be so unkind. It makes it more powerful because you actually have to think about the type of person you'd have to be to judge someone so harshly, and how their opinion ultimately shouldn't matter to you.

26. black midi - Schlagenheim

Genre: Experimental Rock Highlights: bmbmbm, Of Schlagenheim, Ducter

When I say this album is incredibly overwhelming, understand I mean it in the best way possible. There is so much going on at any given moment, and so little time to wait for the next moment, that it took me several listens before I felt I could even truly grasp it. And usually when I say that it comes from a lack of experience with the genre, but while I hadn't heard anything quite like black midi, I have been a fan of rock and rock-adjacent music for most of my life. It's just so much album that it took a while for me to digest it all. And even now, every listen feels fresh because it's so difficult to memorize every aspect of it.

Another crazy thing about this album is how it doesn't even feel like your typical balance of intensity and intricacy, which is probably a massive reason for that overwhelm I mentioned. It's not less intricate in favour of intensity or vice versa, they just turn both of them up to 11 and expect you to get with it, and I have a lot of respect for that approach.

25. MF DOOM - MM.. FOOD

Genre: Hip-Hop Highlights: Deep Fried Frenz, Rapp Snitch Knishes, Kookies

If you want the delectable dessert of DOOM's discography, dare I say it doesn't get more delicious than the divine rhymes of MM.. FOOD. Maybe Madvillainy is more of a main course meal; the mandatory musical meat that you must make your way through first, but the flavourful fun follows shortly after for me. MM.. FOOD is a concept album, using food metaphors throughout, and that sounds like a really cheesy idea, but it's surprisingly satiating in practice, and is the ingredient that really elevates the album to point where, to me, it's a classic.

24. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Genre: Dream Pop, Indie Rock Highlights: The Body Is a Blade, Boyish, Road Head

What's not to love about Japanese Breakfast? The instrumentals never failing to perfectly replicate even the most specific of moods, the evocative and often wise lyricism, the soothing vocals... This album in particular is often verging on meditative, with even most of the upbeat songs having a comforting quality to them that makes them work as a late night lullaby. Even the one song that I'd consider a poor choice for a sleep playlist, 12 Steps, feels like a rock song in a fluffy jumper. It's got all the elements you'd expect from something abrasive, but performed in a way that makes it sound sweet and cozy instead.

As for the wise lyrics I mentioned, it doesn't get much better than The Body Is a Blade in Japanese Breakfast's discography. It's about the idea of perseverance, basically, but in a way that feels very passive, like all the effort the protagonist can muster is put into keeping it together and the rest of their life is on autopilot. It's excellent and well worth a listen. It also stands on it's own if you don't feel like listening to the whole album.

Try not to get so righteous

About what's fair for everyone

Find what's left in you

Channel something good

23. Björk - Homogenic

Genre: Electronic, Art Pop Highlights: Bachelorette, Hunter

On Homogenic, Björk creates a balanced, maximalist electronic soundscape that lends itself to repeated sessions of critical listening, which serves as a backdrop for her passionate, emotion-filled vocal performances. It's an immersive style that really needs to be felt and not described for it to really be understood, but suffice it to say that if you're a fan of music that rewards focused listening, and are not averse to electronic sounds, you'll find something to love here.

22. Jeff Buckley - Grace

Genre: Singer-Songwriter, Alternative Rock Highlights: Hallelujah, Lover You Should Have Come Over

The one and only record from one of music's most overlooked great artists, Jeff Buckley, is a beautiful and thoughtful album. An expression of pain from a tender soul, communicated by way of one of the most beautiful voices to grace a rock-adjacent sound atop instrumentals that at once accept flaws as part of the process and demand perfection to the greatest extent possible without losing the human touch.

21. Alvvays - Alvvays

Genre: Indie Pop Highlights: Atop a Cake, Red Planet, Next of Kin

The first and (in my opinion) worst of Alvvays' albums still gives me enough hits of dopamine from their euphoria-laced sound to make it near the halfway point of this list. The only thing that is really lacking in this album for me, which they will go on to address in future listens, is the rough edges in their production (nothing quite seems to pop like it does later on) and the monotony. Luckily though, the one tone they did run with was one that I absolutely love, making listens great fun regardless.

For more of my thoughts on this album (and the other Alvvays albums we'll get to), check out my Alvvays discography post I made last year! It was an early one of mine, so it might need some revision at some point, but most of what I say in there should still stand.

20. Black Country, New Road - For the First Time

Genre: Experimental Post-Punk Highlights: Sunglasses

As someone who enjoys long songs but short albums, this is almost my dream. 6 songs over a 40 minute runtime. It's not quite around the 35 minute runtime that tends to make me love an album, but it's damn close, and those extra five minutes or so are hardly felt anyways with patient behemoths of songs being held down with an awkward post-punk groove you will have come to expect if you're familiar with the 2020s wave of British post-punk.

I've spoken a lot about how debuts can often sound a little unrefined in their sound, and usually that takes on a slightly negative but totally acceptable connotation, but here they lean in fully and it makes that rawness one of the best elements of the sound. From the album's title, to the theme of immaturity and childhood popping up on occasion throughout the album, to even the jazzy sound that sounds somewhat improvised, they don't shy away from how far they have to go, and that makes for a far more enjoyable experience.

19. Radiohead - OK Computer

Genre: Alternative Rock Highlights: Paranoid Android, Karma Police, Let Down

This is the second time I've had real trouble picking highlights for the album, because practically everything here is pure alternative rock gold. Paranoid Android and Karma Police were mandatory, sure, but beyond that it is almost literally the whole album (minus Fitter Happier for reasons obvious to the masses of people who've heard this album) begging for a spot there. Ultimately, I chose Let Down, with the deciding factor simply being that the lines "One day I am gonna grow wings // A chemical reaction // Hysterical and useless". There's a deeply mangled sense of hope within those lines, as if the sentiment is fighting itself. The crushing realism fighting with the spark of optimism, providing a counterpoint within a hopeful metaphor. One day, you may grow wings, but it's nothing more than a side effect of radiation, and they will be a useless deformation, not and escape.

I'm sure that I don't need to go over how great this album is. If you're a music fan on the internet, you already know that, or have at least heard something to that effect from another hyper-passionate fan, but if this has been a blindspot for you so far, I will be the 548th person to tell you: you need to listen to this album

18. Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Dance, Dance, Sugar, We're Going Down, XO

This is quintessential emo pop punk. It's got the perfect blend of edge and catchiness that made that wave of music so compelling and divisive. As much as Fall Out Boy did essentially make the blueprint for that sound though, there is a uniqueness to them. The heavy emphasis on bass, constant musical shifts, and most of all Patrick Stump's soul-tinged vocals, all contribute to something that feels like more than a bland example of the genre.

On top of that, there is a perfect witty spite to the lyrics that are very rarely replicated by other bands, as much as they may have tried. When others would try, it often came across as bland woman-bashing which gave the movement as a whole a bad name as an especially misogynistic subculture. Now, I wouldn't dare take the stance that there was no misogyny to speak of, but if you take a look at the Mount Rushmore of the movement (My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Panic! At the Disco, and - most relevant to the topic at hand - Fall Out Boy), whenever there was woman-bashing, I for one always got the impression that it was about a single woman as opposed to women as a whole (with a couple notable exceptions from Panic! At the Disco with Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off, and Paramore, with Misery Business).

My general point about this album is that it is very good at toeing all the lines it needs to. It goes far enough to make you feel something, but not far enough that you forget that it's not that deep, all the while being targeted well enough that it doesn't feel like it's perpetuating misogyny despite often being about criticism of women.

17. Alvvays - Antisocialites

Genre: Indie Pop Highlights: Saved By a Waif, Plimsoll Punks, Hey

I listed two flaws in Alvvays' first outing earlier in this list: the monotony and the general vibe of being rough around the edges, which didn't work for their sound. Well I'm happy to report that neither of those things are an issue here. I still wouldn't exactly describe this album as diverse (although it's definitely plenty for a runtime of just over half an hour), but the euphoria factory sound is so refined in this one. It feels like my brain is having a summer water fight where it substituted water with dopamine and also it's raining dopamine. And it gets better. Boy do I love music.

As I mentioned in the write-up of their self-titled album, I made a post about Alvvays' discography if you want some more in depth thoughts about this album and their other two. I'll only plug it one more time, I promise.

16. My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Ghost of You, Thank You for the Venom, I Never Told You What I Do for a Living

I could honestly just fill this write-up by getting the red string and push pins out and trying to string together the story of the album, deciphering what exactly is and isn't related to it, how the ones that are related progress the story, etc. but I don't feel especially qualified for that. I go through binges and fasts of My Chemical Romance, and do more fasting of this album than binging, so I don't have as much of a grasp on that as I'd like. That being said, the TL;DR is that the protagonist's wife dies, and he makes a deal with the devil to see her again after claiming the souls of 1000 evil people.

The music, for the most part, matches that grandiose, dark, theatrical concept perfectly, and manages to be a cathartic listen throughout, really giving as much intensity as possible to get you to that transcendent spot whilst not turning into sound sludge and (for most people) ruining the whole thing.

15. JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES

Genre: Experimental Hip-Hop Highlights: Burfict!, God Loves You, Kingdom Hearts Key

Combining Peggy's maximalist production with Danny Brown's batshit... Well his batshit everything, it's verging on perfection. It might not have been my favourite album of the year, but it has almost certainly been my most replayed. The album has a really infectious energy, is short enough that you can get a quick front-to-back listen in with time to spare for the sequel EP, and has some really funny bars as a cherry on top too, most of which are on one of the highlights I chose: God Loves You. That song is bar after bar of dirty bible double entendres and puns, and to this day some of the lines crack me up.

You can just hear the fun these guys are having making this album in every single verse, and it really helps sell the whole over-the-top vibe. It's an album made with the thought of "what happens if two technically excellent rap artists come together to shitpost?" and the answer is a hip-hop masterpiece.

14. Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly

Genre: Jazz Rap Highlights: King Kunta, Wesley's Theory, i

At this point I'd like to remind anyone reading this that it's my personal opinion and I'm not claiming any objectivity in it. And I'd also like to remind people I put this at least 86 spots higher than Apple Music did.

Onto the actual album though, it is, of course, incredible. It's the album that properly opened up the genre of hip-hop to me. Before I heard this I picked out the very occasional album, but had issues with it resonating with me. I still had issues afterwards, but they were the sort of thing that goes away with pure exposure.

So this album was huge for my musical exploration, but what makes it so good? Well, there are plenty of reasons and plenty of people talking about those reasons. It's an insightful description of how institutional racism effects the way black Americans respond to success and Kendrick gets very introspective to achieve that end, it's got an infectious jazzy style, the poem building throughout the album is a very useful thread in making it more cohesive and is exceptionally executed with every song feeling very relevant to the new lines that precede it... It's an exceptional album, and well worth a listen regardless of who you are.

13. Model/Actriz - Dogsbody

Genre: Dance-punk, Industrial Rock Highlights: Donkey Show, Mosquito, Crossing Guard

This feels a little dirty. Putting Dogsbody ahead of TPAB, not Dogsbody itself. Dogsbody feels downright filthy. I've spoken a lot about this album, and I always describe it as some variation on the explanation that it sounds like gay men doing BDSM. It's rough, a little scary in a thrilling sort of way, it's sexy, and it's fun. It even has the aftercare at the end. And also it's gay... Obviously...

It comes right out the gate at a million miles an hour too, with the first four songs being an amazing summary of the album's sound. If the first half of this album were an EP, it may well be my favourite EP of all time, but fortunately it doesn't end so soon, because while the rest of the album doesn't quite reach that same height for the remainder of it's runtime for me, there are still highlights to come, and a loose narrative that gets a beautiful resolution on Sun In. That narrative is one of an unrequited love within a very physical relationship. A one-sided emotional investment, which, of course, becomes toxic. The narrator relies on the sexual side of the relationship like a crutch, not quite giving them everything they need, but giving them enough that they don't mind the emptiness. The concept is executed via very heady and strange symbolism, but that is what I've managed to glean from it. I'll leave the rest of the analysis to you.

12. Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Genre: sad girl indie Highlights: Chinese Satellite, Kyoto

If I'm being entirely honest, my favourite song from the album isn't in the highlights section. If you've heard the album, you already know what it is. I feel like recommending it outside of the context of the album, though, is placing it in a context in which it has one arm tied behind it's back. It should be little surprise that I'm talking about the closer here, it gives me chills every time it comes on now because it was such a glorious and powerful payoff to such a slow and serene album. The album didn't need a banger, but the contrast is what takes it from good to one of my favourite albums ever (my number 1 favourite at one point)

When listening to the album, it's clear why it inspired so many copycats. It's a sound that resonates with a dejected youth that often turns to sarcasm and humour when things feel especially hopeless. This is what extreme sadness sounds like to younger generations now: a sort of "yeah, that makes sense" mentality that comes with being constantly bombarded with negativity. It's not like you can be surprised things aren't going your way when very little in the world has ever seemed to. There's not much point in making a scene when everyone who can help you is convinced you're the fool in the play. And that also happens to resonate especially well with young women, who are constantly told to deny reality or accept their awful conditions. Of course, all marginalized groups get that to some extent, but it's usually in the form of denying that there is no systemic problem, or that in any individual instance it isn't informed by bigotry. In my experience, the denial that a negative thing even happened to someone is exceptionally rampant within misogyny specifically.

With all of that out of the way, though, I think that is much of the reason nothing hits quite like Punisher for me though. The resonant aesthetics are great, sure, but so often people copy the aesthetics they like without also integrating the meaning. On the surface, Phoebe Bridgers sings in a pretty rambly, conversational way, but if you pay attention, the actual thoughts beneath the aesthetics are impressively profound. The quick, funny, personable lines stick out on an aesthetic level, but fundamentally only serve as a seasoning. Whenever most other artists try the sad girl indie vibe, it comes off as hollow because they give all the seasoning and none of the actual food. Punisher, on the other hand, is a hearty, flavourful meal with everything you could ask for from this style of music and should not be overlooked.

11. Japanese Breakfast - Jubilee

Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Pop Highlights: Paprika, Be Sweet, Savage Good Boy

I've already made a whole post about Jubilee (mostly Paprika though, to be honest), so I'll keep this relatively brief, but this album holds such a special place in my heart. It's clearly not in my top 10, but if you told me I could only listen to 5 albums ever again, this would be one of them. It's very strange to describe what makes this special though. I know it is something to do with it's relationship to joy, but it's not like it's a happy album. There are happy songs, for sure (Paprika, my beloved), but it's about 50/50 when it comes to happiness and sadness. I mean, all the happiness Paprika musters is entirely undone by the emotional wrecking ball that is In Hell, for starters.

I think what the relationship to joy is is a sort of impression you get listening to the album that there is happiness in even the most awful situations. Sometimes it may be deeply buried, but it feels as though this album urges you to keep digging in a very implicit way. It's not explicitly about you persevering, it's about Michelle Zauner persevering and the rewards she got for it. It doesn't push expectations on you, it doesn't assume to know what you're going through, what you're capable of, or what is best for you, it sort of sneakily lets you know "hey, it's an option to keep pushing through and staying positive. This is how it benefited me." And I think that is, in most cases, more powerful than a simple "keep going".

I lied about keeping it brief, but believe me, I tried to.

10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

Genre: Jangle Pop Highlights: There Is a Light That Never Goes Out, The Queen Is Dead, Bigmouth Strikes Again

Everything about this album screams indie pop masterpiece, from the driving drums on the opener and title track, to the back to back dour songs I Know It's Over and Never Had No One Ever, to some of the jangliest songs The Smiths have ever put out like The Boy With the Thorn In His Side, everything feels so classic and so influential. Even some of the bonus tracks on the deluxe edition are downright iconic. Asleep, Rubber Ring, Unloveable... All great. It feels almost as though they were destined to make a must-listen indie pop album and the gods bestowed them with some sort of artistic steroids to make that destiny manifest.

Chances are you've heard of The Smiths, and seeing as this album is just them at their best, it's hard to talk about it without getting too in-depth or too cursory, so I'll describe what makes The Smiths special for anyone who may have a blind spot there. Most of what they do is simply about excelling in the fundamentals of musicianship, with Morrissey being a spectacular lyricist, Johnny Marr being the best indie guitarist of all time, and bassist Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce on drums holding everything down well in the rhythm section to allow the other two legendary musicians to shine their brightest. That all makes for a great band, of course, but if it were just a bunch of really skilled musicians doing nothing special I don't think the band would have such status and staying power. The true value I see in The Smiths comes from the outsider vibe they portray, particularly within Morrissey's lyrics and vocal stylings. It is such a distinctive style that rarely gets mimicked very well, which has allowed them to remain unique, still retaining that outsider air about them while being popular enough to carry a torch for those outsiders on a wide scale without losing that exact power. That's what The Smiths are all about, and this album is the greatest example of that in their discography.

9. Everything Everything - Get To Heaven

Genre: Progressive Pop Highlights: To The Blade, Distant Past

I have a very strange relationship to this album. It's a relationship I do share with other albums, but not nearly to this extent. That relationship is defined by a retrospective lack of enthusiasm (although no lack of appreciation), but punctuated with an in-the-moment revelation every single time I listen to the album of just how much I loved it all along. No more intensely experienced was that exact dynamic than when I noticed that, by my album ratings, this album ended up on the shortlist for this very top 40. I wasn't antagonistic at all towards the prospect, just a little taken aback and half-expecting it to fall out of the top 40 pretty quickly. But as is always the case, I was swiftly corrected.

The album touches on all sorts of political and cultural strife in very abstract ways, but taken as a whole it is very much about the radicalization of a character into a terrorist organization. The narrative doesn't stick too close to that concept following the climax, but still remains tangentially and emotionally connected to political extremism and fear.

That narrative doesn't just stop at the lyrics being about political extremism and radicalization, the synthetic soundscape recalls the digital world where most of that radicalization takes place, and the occasionally confusing and cryptic execution of said lyrics mirrors the feelings of a young person getting whipped up into the chaotic, often nonsensical and contradictory frenzies of the right wing. It is very thorough in it's depiction of the process by which these people often come to do terrible things which makes for an incredible listen and I hope I've learned my lesson about forgetting that.

8. underscores - Wallsocket

Genre: Indietronica, Electropop, Indie Rock Highlights: Cops and robbers

I think now is a good time to quickly go over the two ways I've noticed I can adore an album: one of those ways is by an album seeming as though it couldn't have possibly been created by a person, even a group of people. As if it must have been passed down to the musician who claims ownership over it by some divine power. The other way is a clearly imperfect album where the imperfections somehow just make it even more lovable, because it could have only been made by a human. You'll see that dynamic throughout the list, but especially in the top 5.

This album is not close to perfect. It's a little erratic. underscores tries too much to maintain too much cohesion. Some of the lyrics are a little awkward. But somehow, none of that matters, it just adds to the album in a weird way, gives it a certain charm. That being said though, there is plenty to both love and appreciate too, such as the very online production which provides the vast majority of what little cohesion there is throughout the record, and the very diverse and strange subject matters that get touched on here. There's such a unique personality to the album that you can't help but recognize the humanity in it, and I think that's what makes my connection to this album so strong.

7. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Welcome to the Black Parade, I Don't Love You, Disenchanted

The Black Parade is undeniably the quintessential album of the movement and possibly even has a claim to the quintessential album of the era. I don't think there was a rock fan of the time that didn't know about My Chemical Romance, and I don't think there's a single person who was alive in it's hay day whose emotional dam could withstand the power of that G note. And that's the thing with My Chemical Romance (on this album especially): they are just so emotionally resonant. Whether that emotion is toxic anger and hatred, or whether it's joy, sadness, or the overwhelming nostalgia, you can't help but feel something in response to a Black Parade song.

As you are probably well aware at this point, the album isn't for everybody. It is very much a rock album and is very much sincere, and tends to actively go against the genre's typical clichés in some way. Gerard Way doesn't seem badass, and you probably won't feel badass listening to this album. It isn't really into glorifying moral and emotional shortcomings or even really accepting them. It is actively introspective, from the perspective of an awful man (one which seems to represent the typical macho and troubled-in-a-cool-way character that uninspired rock lyricists portray) facing death and losing hope at a shot of redemption, but who eventually, in my reading, attempts to face death with the grace and sincere love that was lacking in his life.

Many people write off this movement as hollow self-loathing (I even saw someone confidently compare Machine Gun Kelly's lyrics to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy which was baffling to say the least), but you really do get what you give when it comes to the movement's big three (My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Paramore. Let's be real, Panic! have like two albums and no one can even agree which two)

6. David Bowie - ★

Genre: Experimental Rock Highlights: ★, Lazarus

You can't talk about this album without talking about the unfortunate death of one of music's greatest legends. I don't know how the death of the man David Jones was handled. I'm sure it was with great love, care, and no spared expense. But I do know that the superstar David Bowie went out on his own terms. Even when the album isn't explicitly about mortality, you feel the ghost of the man. It reads as though he's looking back on his life and his regrets, coming to terms with the fact that there will forever be unfinished business in his life.

It is enviable in a sense though. All of us have to die (for now), and that's always going to be painful to those around us, and ourselves in our approach. But not many of us get to make our own headstones. And that is exactly how I'd describe ★. A beautiful headstone over the grave of one of music's most influential figures. So if you can stand the morbidity of it, come and appreciate the craftsmanship, the ode to one's own life, and pay your respects. It really is an experience that I believe transcends personal tastes, even if the music itself doesn't appeal to you enough to revisit, the album as a unified project, I believe, is a universally affecting experience.

5. Kendrick Lamar - good kid, m.A.A.d city

Genre: West Coast Hip-Hop Highlights: good kid, m.A.A.d city, Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst

There's one particular reason I love this album so much. Song for song it's very good, but maybe not top 5 for me. Thematically it's great, but far from something that'd resonate with me this much. The thing about this album that makes me love it this much is that it is an absolute masterclass in sequencing. Even with what I'd consider a noticeably flawed tracklist with a few songs that don't quite hit for me, there is no point where I was listening to this album and didn't feel very engaged.

The sequencing here appears to bend time, making you feel at the halfway point as if you've barely gotten started but somehow still been given almost an album's worth of thoughts already. And that might lead you to believe that it's overwhelming, but that is somehow not the case either. You'll need a few listens to properly take everything in, but it feels as though you're allowed to engage and disengage at will with the lyrics and concepts.

Essentially, my thoughts come down to the idea that as a collection of songs it's slightly lacking by the standards of a top 5 album and by the standards set by Kendrick himself, but it is redeemed and then some by the fact that it captures the essence of an album perfectly. If you don't typically listen to albums and don't understand what separates them from any old collection of songs, this album is the one I'll point to as an example of the exceptionality of the format. The flow of the album, the stories, the immersion... None of that can be matched.

4. black midi - Hellfire

Genre: Avant Prog Highlights: Sugar/Tzu, Welcome To Hell, The Race Is About To Begin

If you're looking for an intense, overwhelming-yet-satisfying listen, look no further than black midi, and Hellfire in particular. I've talked a lot about this album in the past, and I always go back to the first time I heard it and the same description: it felt like I was shot up to heaven to see the face of god and shot back down to earth. It went beyond your typical transcendent experience and into the territory where you start to feel you'll never be the same again.

Unfortunately, that faded with repeat listens as I've come to know these songs inside and out, but it remains an invigorating and awe-striking experience. The initial reaction can be put down to the breakneck speed of the music, with every instrument seemingly existing just to keep you struggling to keep up and wrap your head around their parts. The repeated experience, however, comes down to things like the lyrics and themes of the album. It gives listeners so much to dig into, and when you consider the lower-than-average runtime, it becomes truly impressive how densely packed this album is.

As the title would suggest, the album depicts all manner of evil, from fearmongering on the opener, to war on Welcome To Hell, to complex exploitation on Eat Men Eat, there is so much to explore within a cohesive package.

And somehow it was my third favourite album from that year

3. Black Country, New Road - Ants From Up There

Genre: Art Rock, Chamber Pop Highlights: Good Will Hunting, The Place Where He Inserted The Blade

The second album of the 2022 ten trifecta has a weirdly similar vibe to the first (that being the previous album, Hellfire), but if I were to describe the differences, the albums would be total opposites. Other than the fact it's hard to conceive of the process by which they were made, Hellfire goes at blazing speeds while AFUT pulls back, Hellfire channels chaos where AFUT goes for a more considered style, Hellfire makes it's points quickly and moves on but AFUT takes it's time to build it's narratives. And yet, I've scarcely seen a fan of one that isn't a fan of the other. It's a strange connection these two albums share, which makes it fitting that they are right beside eachother on this list.

Onto Ants From Up There specifically though, the album is defined by a simmering patience and desperation. Thematically depicting a relationship strained by distance, physical and emotional, but in which one side is dependent on the other. Of course, this relationship is bound to fall apart, and the album spirals into a hopeless angst fueled by regret and shame.

As you can tell, it's not a happy listen, but if you can make it through the gargantuan 12 minute closer Basketball Shoes without the album leaving an impact on you, I'm not exactly sure how. After all we go through with the protagonist, when Isaac Wood belts the words "All I've been forms the drone we sing the rest // Your generous loan to me // Your crippling interest" hit like a truck going 100 miles per hour.

In general, the lyrics throughout this album depict overdependence in a very thoughtful and heartbreaking way. It feels as though it is acknowledged that the relationship can't go on for the sake of the immature party, but regardless, the pain felt by that person is very real, and you feel all of that here. The understanding and the frustration.

2. Alvvays - Blue Rev

Genre: Indie Pop, Dream Pop, Jangle Pop Highlights: After The Earthquake, Pressed, Tile By Tile

Picking highlights for this album was a bitch.

Completing two trifectas on this list at once, we have the final Alvvays album, and the final of my three albums from 2022 I consider 10s. I mentioned earlier the two ways an album can end up meaning this much to me (although you'd be forgiven for not reading that, this is a long list with a lot of writing): first, you have the perfect, flawless albums that feel handed down by the gods. Then there's albums like Blue Rev.

The album isn't flawless. The mastering isn't too great, for example, and Many Mirrors is pretty far from the standard I find the album is usually operating at (an 8 amongst 9s and 10s, nothing major, but a noticeable outlier). But somehow, all the flaws I find make me love it even more. It's as if the album has more personality the more flaws I recognize, and I think that's all about the euphoria that Alvvays are so capable of creating. When the music makes you feel this good, there is no flaw that can bring it down. There is always that simple, invincible rebuttal of "and yet...".

For the final plug, I'll once again bring attention to my Alvvays retrospective for anyone who wants more in-depth thoughts on this incredible love letter to indie pop and all it's subgenres.

1. Radiohead - In Rainbows

Genre: Art Rock, Alternative Rock Highlights: Weird Fishes / Arpeggi, Jigsaw Falling Into Place, Videotape

I would be downright baffled if anyone needed me to tell them that this album is phenomenal. It's seen by many a music community as one of the greatest albums of all time. I couldn't possibly go over all the reasons it's beloved by so many, but here are a few of my reasons for loving it enough to consider it my favourite album.

The first thing I feel I should touch on here is the warmth of this album. It feels like being wrapped inside a warm cocoon, with the sounds of every change in your morphing body reverberating off the walls, with the sounds themselves being a mangled reflection of what was once beautiful and natural.

That metaphor (or simile, I guess?) came to me while writing it, but it's honestly very fitting, and not just in the abstract representation of all the sounds and feelings that this album represents to me. It's also fitting in that the album seems to have a running theme of impermanence. The opener, 15 Step, is about the panic of realizing that you yourself are temporary; that your very self will one day cease to exist. Bodysnatchers represents someone whose self-hood is unfixed and ephemeral. Nude doesn't fit the theme unless you consider an opposition to change as a subversion of it, but then Weird Fishes / Arpeggi acts as a counterpoint in ways to that apathetic stubbornness ("Why should I stay here? Why should I stay?"). I could go on, but I don't want to linger on this point, picking out every example. That being said though, that theme ties everything together in a very subtle way. Subtle enough that I only picked up on it this past listen, and I've been listening to this album front-to-back, intently, several times a year for about 5 years now, but I think I always picked up on the similar thematic vibe subconsciously.

One final note to end on...

I recognize that this post is a very long one, but I wanted my proper comeback to be something big. In the future though, I'll be looking to split things up a bit more, starting with a The Cure retrospective that I've already begun working on. I'll also start an alternate blog for more laid-back thoughts about music, starting with my thoughts on these types of lists in general, which is a topic I've been thinking about since Apple Music astounded people with it's bad takes on it's own top 100 while I was in the process of making this post. Once I post that, I'll edit this post with a link. (Here's the link) Thanks for your time and I hope this helps you find an album that you like, or prompts you to revisit an old favourite!

[tavina-writes]

Have you any suggestions for someone who has started recently (few months ago) to publish fics on ao3 and doesn't get a lot of hits/kudos? I feel a little down and insecure, and I don't know if it's my writing the problem or the fact that the pair is not the main and not liked much

Hi Nonny!

This is a difficult conflict to have with yourself, and I'm sure that like, you've seen all the posts about how like "you should be self indulgent! you should write for yourself! who cares about engagement!" and this both is and isn't true. But also even if you think it is true and you'd like to get some of that energy it's very difficult and for that sending you so many hugs. It is very normal to feel insecure about sharing something you've made, and I think writers of all levels of experience and "engagement" feel down about themselves like this in cycles.

idk if I'm qualified to say a ton on this topic, but I've seen lots of "unhealthy relationship to stats page" and could tell real stories about horrible things that have happened so I guess here goes nothing?

A few things to keep in mind:

what do you consider "not a lot" ? 10? 100? 1000? One of the major problems of focusing overtly on hits/kudos/comments/and other things you can't change is that inevitably if you achieve the "number of your dreams" you will....get a new number that you want. It will be bigger. Chasing this type of external numbers based validation to the exclusion of other stuff is very difficult because it is one of those sliding slope black holes to never being satisfied with what is currently going on. This is my primary thought on why focusing on stats isn't very good: it's very easy to get into a never ending cycle of never being happy.

as someone who's written for several years: we're coming up on the winter holidays, end of the semester, winter break type time period in many parts of the world but esp for northern hemisphere english speaking fandom, so if you're seeing a decrease in hits/kudos/comments/the feeling that someone out there is reading your work in general, this could play a big role. If you've only been publishing for the last few months the first time this happens can be really jarring! But it has nothing to do with the quality of your writing or if people are interested in reading and everything to do with brickspace taking up a lot of time right now. (I imagine this might also be true for Chinese speaking fandom around New Years, but I can't say since I don't engage there very often to notice trends.)

Depending on the fandom, (which, unless you, like me, are into Naruto which seems to thrive on niche AUs from now until forever), main pairings/fandom popular juggernauts will always get more people reading than a rarepair. That doesn't mean the people who write for rarepairs are doing a bad job or that writing for a rarepair isn't rewarding to the writer in other ways, but that may mean modulating expectations on like "how many people will click on my work?" and "how much feedback will I get?"

So overall, I feel like there's a combination of factors here for why you might be feeling down, but there are ways to help with this!

For one: talking about your writing and your work and what you're doing! This, I've found, is a great way to make friends. (also to anyone who says that this is obnoxious and attention seeking, this is the attention seeking webbed site, if you don't want attention why are you here????)

For two: locate friends and yell your thoughts at them <- I have found this to be 100% a mood picker upper when it comes to "am I doing a good job at writing?"

For three: find what makes you really happy about your own writing! This doesn't mean that you have to seek to improve your writing, but just, stuff that you enjoy, a line you really like, a relationship you enjoyed, a fic you thought was nice, and be kind to yourself about it.

Again, sending you hugs nonny! I hope some of this helps!

[julietasgf]

Why do you think Ma stayed with Strabo after seeing all the terrible things he did? I feel like she probably does love him on some level since she's still with him no matter what he does, but it's just like why??? While reading your fics on the Plinth family, I kept wondering why Ma didn't just leave Strabo. This isn't a criticism of your works, I just genuinely didn't understand why Ma kept staying with him even after seeing all the terrible things he was doing Sejanus. Like why was Strabo leaving Sejanus at school simply for being a few minutes late not a good enough reason for her to divorce Strabo's ass and take Sejanus away??? And when Strabo hits Sejanus, she still doesn't leave him??? Do you think D2 had more of a patriarchal culture where divorce was highly frowned upon and it was expected for women and children to just obey the father/husband and weather through the mistreatment/abuse? The line where Ma says that she's an adult who knew what she was doing when she accepted Strabo's love really stuck out to me because yeah, if she wants to accept that kind of terrible love, well like she said, she is an adult and it's up to her if she wants to be treated that way. But Sejanus is a child who didn't get the choice of choosing to be the recipient of his father's "love", he was brought into the world and had the misfortune to be stuck with a terrible father. Like it's one thing to be an adult and accept that kind of mistreatment, but to stand by and watch as a kid is forced to "accept" that kind of love??? Did Ma ever actually bring up divorce/separating to Strabo, or was that all just her internal thoughts? Would Strabo have made it impossible for her to leave him anyway? I know it's not easy to leave a toxic, abusive relationship, but I just keep wondering why it seemed like Ma didn't choose Sejanus over Strabo. Like why didn't Ma do more to protect Sejanus from Strabo? She keeps saying that she knows that Strabo is a bad man but it felt like she kinda just watched as Strabo destroyed Sejanus mentally and emotionally? But also what did Ma love about Strabo near the end? She knows he's a terrible person but still loves him? What are this man's redeeming qualities to have Ma stick by him through literally everything??? Also did Strabo just not care about the rest of his extended family in D2? Like he had to know that by siding with the Capitol, he was gonna screw over his own family in D2. To me, he seems like the type of man to not give a crap about his in-laws/wife's side of the family, but what about his own blood relatives? Like did he not care about screwing over his own parents and siblings (if he had any)?? And what if his own nieces and nephews were picked from the Reaping? Do you think any of Sejanus's cousins were sent to the Hunger Games? If Strabo could have some influence on Marcus being in the games, I want to believe that he could also influence it so that his nieces and nephews are safe from the games, but this is also Strabo we're talking about sooooo I guess I wouldn't also put it past him to not care if his nieces and nephews were reaped. this got kinda long, but i've been thinking a lot after reading your character studies and i think i'm kinda obsessed and in love with those works now lol

hi!!! so, first, tysm for reading my works, it's genuinely so sweet from you to tell me that you liked it and I'm so happy that you enjoyed them :((( <33

okay, so, I'm going to be very honest with you: I don't know either, and I wish I knew.

talking about the book, and not my hcs and not my works: I never understood why ma plinth stayed with someone like strabo. she clearly loves her district, she clearly holds her culture and traditions dearly, and she doesn't seem happy at the capitol. her family cut ties with her, only her sister still keeps contact. there's a part near the end where she says that when they moved to the capitol and got to the house for the first time, she felt like it was a disaster, she knew it was a disaster. ma is such a sweet person and it just didn't make sense to me. was she okay with what strabo did at the war? was divorce never an option? was she willing to choose strabo over her family? why?

I have two points regarding this (and now I'm also talking about my hcs and my works).

first one: what you talked about a patriarchal culture in D2. I think it's probably the most possible and strong option. it didn't seem like ma plinth worked or had any job or occupation besides being strabo's wife and sejanus' mother. her family cutting ties with her and her not seeming to have an actual option regarding moving to the capitol (because, to me, it seemed that if she could, she would come back, she would stay). I don't think that it's that frowned upon women working in panem, but I do think that when a man can sustain his family alone (especially after the war), it means status and power. ma plinth seems very dependant on strabo's money, and I wonder what would be her options if she left him; what would she do? where would she go? she doesn't even have a family anymore.

second point: apathy. now, the whole thg universe has very complex characters, and none of them are completely flawed or completely good. ma is lovely, she's sweet and kind and genuinely one of the nicest characters in the whole saga, but she watched her husband betray her district, her home, and did nothing. she watches fucked up shit happening and does nothing. it's not that she doesn't want to do something, but it's just so much easier to just let strabo do whatever he wants, even though it hurts, even though it goes against her morals. she did it regarding her home and leaving it, she does it regarding her son (even though for sejanus, she does put a little more of effort, but not enough to make actual changes, just to protect him from further harm).

I think ma fell in love with strabo once when he was a young, passionate man, ambitious but not completely bad, and then they married. the years passed by, and he got more and more ruthless, and more and more cold, but divorce didn't seem like an option, not really. I think ma still loves strabo as some sort of response, trying to keep in her mind more of the boy she met than the man she married.

(I actually have some hcs for how they met, why ma holds strabo so dearly to the point of trying to live with the fact that he's the worst, and my thoughts on sejanus just keeping the cycle going on with his ending with coriolanus but this is for later)

OOOH I HAVE SOME HCS REGARDING HIS FAMILY, but again, this is for later. but making it short: I think he had siblings, I don't think he cared about them, and this goes beyond just being ruthless. now, it didn't come to my thoughts the idea of one of sejanus' cousins getting reaped; even though it's a very interesting concept. I don't think it happened to sejanus' cousins from ma's side of the family; she would be heartbroken if that happened, and she's already devasted with having to move to the capitol, so I can totally see strabo playing his cards to make sure none of them actually get reaped. now, regarding sejanus' cousins from his father's side... the story is very much different.

thank you again anon, for your ask and for telling me that you enjoyed my stuff, it makes me very much happy <33