#Also the quality isn't very good because for the first time I've been hit in the face with size limits

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

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Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[genericpuff]

(I am the anon who recommended Ulysses Dies at Dawn) I hope you like it!!!! Udad is one of my favourite albums especially because of the world building around The City, so I hope you enjoyed it too!!

I did finish it, I quite liked it! Recommended it to my husband as well as he's a huuuge Epic fan (he's more of a musical theater person than me overall tbh) and probably would also love The Magnus Archives if he ever gave it a shot haha (I haven't touched TMA but I'm aware of its fandom presence on this hellsite LOL)

Overall it was a really cool concept album! Turning the setting of The Odyssey into a sort of post-modern steampunk epic was pretty unique and cool, especially with how they adapted some of the stories into said setting. Turning the riddle of the Sphinx into a literal disease that ages infants from birth to death within a matter of hours? Genius. And while it does take some massive creative liberties by incorporating other mythological characters like Herakles and Ariadne directly into the cast, it still did a pretty good job at creating a unique, thought-provoking, well-rounded plot with overarching themes and motifs in only an hour! I especially appreciate the little lore details they hid in the video descriptions and thumbnail art, I always love hunting for secrets like that haha

My favorite songs were probably My Name is No One, Riddle of the Sphinx, Sirens, and Favoured Son, the vocals are all wonderfully delivered (especially in Sirens, it gave me chills in the best way) and the narrative progression within the lyrics was very compelling especially in relation to the world-building.

I had a couple of least favorites too though, and unfortunately they were Orpheus' and Ariadne's songs which I wish I could love on that basis alone but alas, they just didn't hit the mark for me.

My issue with Trial by Song is largely personal, I can get what the vocalist was going for but that constant high-note vocal waving / shaking just doesn't do it for me, I've never been a fan of that delivery style so even if it was intentional and driven with purpose, it's just not something I can force myself to enjoy. But again, that's largely personal taste, not something I'm gonna hold against the vocalist because aside from that one personal ick they're doing a great job at hitting and maintaining those notes, if it weren't for that one thing I'd probably be way more into it haha

As for Ties That Bind, that one actually isn't a personal issue, at least as far as I can argue LOL On a technical level, the mixing felt very off, the instrumentals were often just way too loud compared to the vocalist which made it difficult to focus on what was being sung (and the mic quality itself didn't seem all that great either). And that problem was compounded by the vocalist's own stylization which threw me off because of how deep her voice suddenly sounded compared to how she had been speaking up until that point; it felt very forced and strained, especially when she tried to switch from those deep chest notes to those higher throat notes. This stylization clashed with the lyrics too, the line deliveries often felt "cramped" where the vocalist almost seemed to be slurring / rushing the words (sometimes they even felt completely off-tempo) which made it hard to make out what she was saying even when I could hear past the instrumentals. And that's not exactly ideal for a musical where the plot is literally being delivered through song LMAO It just felt like it could have used a bit more time in the oven IMO. I don't doubt that the vocalist is skilled, it just felt like the song was often working against her skills rather than with them.

All that said, in spite of those two criticisms I have of it after my first couple listens, I do think this is a great concept album and I was shocked to see it doesn't seem to have much attention on it judging by the view counts, it really deserves more attention and love because the amount of thought and detail that went into creating this world and its narrative and its characters is incredibly impressive.

So if you're like me and also had no clue this album existed until now, I highly suggest checking it out! It's not as big a time commitment as Epic or Hadestown, it only takes an hour to get through. And if you're into gritty steampunk film-noir stuff with lots of mystery and intrigue and twists, it'll probably be right up your alley!

[aesethewitch]

Advertisement Adversaries #3: "Monthly Check-In Spread"

Hello, and welcome to Advertisement Adversaries! I'm Aese, a witch of many years with a background in marketing/advertising and business writing/editing. This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website.

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Advertisement Details

Who is the advertiser -- or who do they claim to be? Who is their apparent primary audience? What are they selling? What's their tone? What's the vibe? What are the first impressions?

This entry is covering a seller I know for a fact is legitimate. We've chatted quite a bit, and they actually requested for me to dip into their listings for an ADversary post! So, while this seller is going to remain anonymous and the usual rules of "don't go find this person" apply, this is someone I've talked to and have gotten consent from for this project.

This seller is relatively new to the witchblr/tarotblr scene, but they're pretty active. Posts abound about their practice, tools, and various interests. I may or may not have spent a couple hours just scrolling in fascination. I have a soft spot for unique, home-grown practices that are unafraid to get a little weird with it, and this seller's blogs really hit the spot. I'm a fan.

For the purposes of this article, I'm focusing primarily on this person's divination blog, mostly because their Ko-Fi shop is all divinatory offerings. As an animist, all of their tools have names and distinct personalities which inform the readings provided with those tools. There's actually a whole post dedicated to the tools they have in their collection - and it's a considerable collection, indeed! "Avid" is certainly the right word. Lots to choose from, and it seems you can request specific tools for some types of readings.

In their pinned post, they cite that they've been practicing divination for about three years (as of this writing), working at it almost every day. It's a short amount of time in comparison to some readers around these parts, but dedicating to almost-daily readings for three years is impressive!

And it shows! All readings, even paid ones, are published publicly on a side blog dedicated to divinatory readings, tool reviews, and other divination-related posts. Their average readings are lengthy, providing ample detail and pictures of all cards (or other items, in the case of their charm sets) drawn for the readings.

The overall tone of their readings is kind, written for ease of access, and very friendly. This seller strikes me as approachable and knowledgeable. The types of readings they offer are unique enough to stand out while also being familiar enough to be comfortable.

I do think that their primary audience, based on the types of readings they offer, is going to be other practitioners and diviners. They tend to be very in-depth and specific, which isn't always appealing to a general audience. The only issue with this is that other diviners are very likely to do their own reading or ask for one from a friend than pay a sum for one. It's a tougher market, but a worthwhile one, as clients tend to be of a higher quality overall.

This seller uses Tumblr as their primary medium for receiving requests and giving readings, but they use Ko-Fi as a transactional hub. The listing we're focusing on is for a Monthly Check-In Spread:

I chose this one because it's the one I would consider the middle ground between their really unique readings and the "standard" readings you might find anywhere. Twenty cards is, if you didn't know, a shit load. For only $10.00, that's fifty cents per card - an absolute steal.

Now, there are no images for any of these listings. That's not necessarily a real negative, since all of these readings are published publicly on Tumblr. You can easily find examples of the same readings to see what you're getting. For this reading, it may not really be necessary to have an image of an example spread. But for the other unusual readings in the commissions listings, it might be helpful to have. Plus, it makes links to the listings more attractive, too.

First impressions for this listing and the shop are pretty positive, if bland. If I didn't know this seller personally, I might be a little put off by having to contact them before making a commission request. A lot of more casual clients are unlikely to want to do that, and you might miss out on sales because of it. That said, you do mitigate a lot of issues with people breaking rules, asking for things you can't do, and just generally being uncool. It's a trade-off, one that shouldn't be made lightly.

The primary selling points here are the uniqueness of the readings offered, the vast variety of tools available, and the personality of the reader. My first impression is that their newness is pretty obvious, but they have a lot of potential for greatness. I really hope their requests pick up (to still-comfortable levels, of course), because their style deserves the attention.

Now, let's get into our rating criteria!

Clarity

How clear is the language? Does it use a bunch of obscure terms or talk in circles? Is it obvious what the buyer will receive based on this listing alone?

Let's pull up that product description again, just to have it.

This, like all other listings here, is very straightforward. It says exactly what you're going to get: Twenty cards drawn and interpreted to predict the next four weeks ahead. I particularly appreciate that the description breaks it down a little further, saying you get the month overview, weekly breakdowns, and the blessing and burden for each week.

Each listing contains the directions to contact the seller before requesting a reading on Ko-Fi. The seller explained to me directly that this is to prevent rule breaking and to ensure they're able to perform the reading. I really get this, personally, since I also sell on Ko-Fi. There are fees from PayPal and Stripe (and Ko-Fi itself, if you're doing the contributor thing for extra features) that you won't get back if you do a refund. You essentially eat those fees, which sucks for even an established, very successful seller.

However, as mentioned above, I do think it's a turn-off for many potential clients. It's not the kind of thing to require lightly. This is, though, very much a personal choice. And I think it's explained here pretty clearly. The other thing about it is that I assumed this meant DMing on Tumblr, since it's DMing on Ko-Fi; but rereading their pinned post with a closer eye, I realize they want you to send an ask on Tumblr, not a DM. They don't read DMs. It's really important to make that distinction!

If I had to nitpick something for clarity about the service itself, I would say it's in how the twenty cards are allotted to the four weeks. Is it five cards drawn per week? Or is it a more holistic approach to the month as a whole? How are we dividing that up? Personally, I want just a little more detail so I understand exactly what I'm getting. However, I realize I'm pretty picky in that regard, and I genuinely think the way it's worded now is fine for the average client. The solution would be to reach out and ask, which is exactly what the seller wants, anyways.

One other thing I could nitpick is for clarity in how long the reading will take to complete. I assume it depends on the queue ahead of me, the complexity of the reading, how long it takes to go back and forth in our conversations... but I don't want to assume, I'd like to be told. An approximation is enough - something like, "I reply to DMs within one business day. Readings are usually complete within a week of payment confirmation." That way, someone doesn't get pissed when they don't get their reading within a day or two.

Overall, Clarity gets a somewhat critical 4/5 for me, with half a point off for each of the nitpicky things. Very solid.

Transparency

Is the seller honest about their refund/returns policy? Is it obvious where materials are being sourced? Is the seller being honest and clear about their credentials and/or qualifications?

As you progress through the Ko-Fi screens, we reach the Terms and Conditions blurb, which gives us our refunds policy:

This is a standard place to put refunds information. Not offering refunds once services are provided is also standard. On the one hand, sellers often have to eat the cost of transaction fees on refunds. And on the other, it prevents people from getting readings and then unfairly demanding refunds for no reason, scamming sellers out of their time and money.

Reiterating the message-first policy is pretty smart. It's not a common requirement, and putting it in two places (especially somewhere people have to check an "I Agree" box to move on) means the client is likelier to actually read it.

Now, there's one thing here that stands out to me: The mention that the reading will be published on Tumblr. This is repeated in their pinned post on their readings blog, which they require all prospective clients, whether free or paid, to read for a full run-down of rules. (Fairly standard, in my opinion; reading terms/rules before requesting any reading is polite.)

The first is that I wonder whether I'll get a personal copy of the reading. If I didn't have a Tumblr, how would I receive the reading? Even if their primary audience is on Tumblr, this limits their growth opportunities for the future. Sending a copy of the reading directly to the querent be more sustainable in the long-run.

The second is, what if I would rather have my reading be 100% private? Is that an option at all, or is it required that the reading be public? The pinned post states that I can be anonymous in the reading, so I assume I can't have the reading be totally private to just me. Which brings me back around to the question of whether the public post is going to be the only record of the reading, or if I'll also receive a personal version of it via email or something similar.

Either way, this would be, personally, a pretty big turn-off for the reading. I generally prefer to have my readings be private, and having a reading I've paid for be published for the public to see is something I wouldn't love. This isn't a big deal to everyone, but for personal matters or sensitive subjects, I could definitely see this preventing some folks from buying - even at such a steal of a price. If you didn't read the pinned post carefully enough (which I admittedly missed this, despite reading it three or four times for this article! I knew free readings were all published; it was the paid readings I didn't realize were published), and this is when you found out your reading would be put on Tumblr publicly... well, it'd certainly make me wish I knew before going through all the trouble of reaching out, chatting, and then almost paying. Of course, I doubt it would actually get that far - the conversation had would most likely discuss the publication terms, just to confirm them if nothing else.

However, on the good side, this seller is honest about how much experience they have, quoting the exact date they started doing divination right in their pinned post. They also state in the same pinned post that they're not perfect, and that sometimes, they might be wrong in their predictions. I really appreciate a reader who's humble enough to tell the truth like that. It gives big points to Transparency.

They also, in the same pinned post, list out various views they hold about divination and what you as a client ought to expect. It's a simple, effective code of conduct that displays their expectations for querents and for themselves. Solid.

So, Transparency is overall not bad. I'm giving this seller 4/5, with points off for the public/private questions and points added back in for the frankness.

Presence

Is the seller present anywhere other than their shop? Do they share anything about their process, method, or practice anywhere? Are they actually part of a community, or are they just selling something?

As previously mentioned, this seller is very active on Tumblr. I didn't see any other social media attached to their accounts, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Particularly because all of their blogs are chock-full of good stuff: information about their own practices, their tools, things they're excited about, things they're trying, readings from other people, their hobbies, their interests... Hell yeah, honestly.

This person has several side blogs, all for different subjects and focuses. They reblog a lot, but they're also involved in conversations and sharing their own thoughts.

This is someone who is very active in their communities. They're not interacting to make money, they're interacting because it's fun and they like it. Turning their divination practice into a source of income is an extension of that. I genuinely believe that if this seller didn't like divination, they wouldn't bother with it.

They share a ton about their tools and methods. Recently, they've been offering practice readings for free that are so cool. They're engaging with their audience just to engage, but it also provides an essential insight into the way their readings work. This seller answers questions about their readings and practices with an eagerness that shows me exactly how happy they are when doing all this.

All this to say, their Presence is an extremely solid 5/5. I think the only improvement to be made would be tagging their divination reading posts with more popular tags for greater visibility and growth. Keep doing what you're doing.

Genuineness

Are listing photos genuine? Are any images AI, or is any copy written by an AI? Is this a real person selling something, or is this a bot account?

So, there are no listing photos on any of the commission options. Again, this isn't necessarily bad, because this seller publishes all their readings publicly on Tumblr. You can do a quick scroll to see all their tools in action for the readings they've got on offer (plus more!).

All of the images found on the blog are 100% genuine. They're obviously unique, taken of the readings in progress. Nothing here is generated by a machine. The readings are consistent in style across all the posts, and none of the images are repeated. It would be tough to fake these readings, I think, because of the sheer number of tools they've got. There are so many moving parts, it would take more effort to bullshit the readings than do them for real!

I really can't overstate how lovely this seller is. Their interests inform their practices, and there's something very charming about that. It doesn't get much more genuine than someone doing good work just to do good work, for no other reason than they're good at it and it's fun. Once again, hell yeah.

Genuineness gets an obvious 5/5.

Verifiability

Is it obvious how a buyer will know their service is completed? Is it possible for the buyer to know? Are there any reviews verifying the quality/existence of the products or services? Are there negative reviews available?

Like we discussed before, all readings are provided publicly on the seller's Tumblr blog, so it's pretty obvious when the services are completed! I would assume that the client would receive a message letting them know when it's posted. And, based on the other readings published, the client is directly tagged unless they request to be anonymous. So there are a few ways to know.

The seller leaves reblogs on for the readings so that the querent can reblog it, and they include a note at the end requesting that no one but the querent reblog. It's in these reblogs that most feedback is given, but it's sometimes in the replies.

I took a couple hours to scroll and read through all the replies and reblogs to see what folks are saying. (I didn't take any screenshots for the querents' privacy, since the reviews talk about details found in the readings.) Reviews are overall positive, and I'm not surprised. The quality here is very, very high. So high, in fact, that I decided to take a shot at it with a reading for myself. I rarely request readings from other people, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that the reading I was given was both highly accurate and useful. This reader comes recommended by other verified sources in the community, which is, in my opinion, the best kind of verification one can have.

There weren't any overtly negative reviews that I could find, but I think a key detail here is that this blog isn't overly active. It's still pretty new, all things considered, so traffic is more of a trickle than a flood, especially with the seller's recent break from performing readings for others. The feedback this seller has received is thorough, though, and there were bits of advice for improvement sprinkled here and there.

So, overall, Verifiability receives a somewhat biased 5/5. The fact that my own friends, who are themselves accomplished diviners, are able to verify this person's services is a huge boost.

Morality

Are they offering services related to health, mental health, legal services, or other dubious subjects? Are they knowingly targeting a vulnerable audience using buzzwords and inflammatory language? Is the listing sharing misinformation or encouraging belief in conspiracy theories? Does the listing contain debunkable information? Does the listing participate in bigotry, cultural appropriation, bioessentialism, or anything of that nature?

This seller's readings are entirely above-board. Their rules specifically state that they won't do divination for medical, legal, or financial advice. They also specifically say that they won't answer questions that cross lines of closed practices or that disrespects anyone else.

Their services are respectful from start to finish. I would dare to say it's part of their whole Brand.

Not only that, but based on the other blogs this person has, they're someone who is always learning. They very specifically Do Not do bigotry, which you'd think would be a low bar, but so many other sellers I've looked at in the last few months fail to clear it, so... y'know. Their pinned post also specifically asks for people to point out wrongdoing, misinformation, and problems in the content they post, which is a very green flag. Even if I hadn't had the pleasure of talking to this person directly, I'd still rate this person quite high here.

Anyways, by virtue of losing precisely no points in this category, Morality gets a 5/5.

Attractiveness & Pointers

(For legitimate sellers and self-submitted shops only.)

Is the shop/listing attractive? Does it stand out from other listings on the market? Does it establish the seller as unique, interesting, and otherwise worthy of my business? How could it be improved?

Hooray, I get to fill out this category for the first time! Note that there's no rating for this category; it's just an addition with general tips for improvement. It's important to know that these aren't rules, and there are a thousand ways to approach marketing stuff. Opinions, thoughts, ideas, etc. etc. etc.

The first thing I'll say is a repeat of something I said earlier: Images for the more obscure types of readings would probably be a good idea. Either a photo of an example spread or an image that describes the spread in some way attached to the listing is something to consider. Ko-Fi's format for images on commissions is... it's weird. I personally don't have images for my commissions because I hate the way they appear in the list, so I really do think this is a personal choice either way.

Something I've noticed in a few places are a handful of typos. In the reading posts themselves, the spelling and grammar are really good! It's in the listings and disclaimers that there are a couple issues, which I think may be due to inexperience and perhaps fluster with regards to the legality of it all. Let me pull up the Terms and Conditions screenshot for the spread:

It's just a little bit off. It works, to be sure, but the execution is a touch clumsy. In the last sentence of the first paragraph, Ko-Fi should be capitalized, capital-K and capital-F. And in the same paragraph, that last sentence is the strange one. Here's how I'd adjust it, personally:

"Please leave your Tumblr username in the request box so that I can reach you there if needed. If no Tumblr is provided, or if you don't have a Tumblr, I will use Ko-Fi to contact you."

In the final line, as well, I would either place an article of "The" in front of "finished" to make it read "The finished reading will be published..." or make "reading" plural so that it reads "Finished readings will be published..." As it is right now, it isn't 100% grammatically correct.

I'm going to nitpick here a little as well: There are so many disclaimers. Too many, one might say. Having the instructions to contact the seller on Tumblr (or Ko-Fi) before buying in multiple places makes sense, as that's an unusual thing to require. However, I think that having the "entertainment disclaimer" on the main page description, in every listing's description, and in the T&C is excessive, at least on Ko-fi. Narrowing it down to just the main page and Terms is plenty. This makes it significantly easier to update in the future.

Now, note that on a platform like Etsy, having the "entertainment disclaimer" in the product description is good practice. This is because Etsy is a marketplace, and people often aren't clicking through to see the shop description and every other listing. They're using the search bar with a particular term and then clicking on something that's eye-catching. If the disclaimer isn't easily found in the product description, they run the risk of legal troubles.

Ko-Fi isn't really that marketplace. In general, sellers are linking to their pages on social media to an existing audience. Also, I'm of the opinion that Ko-Fi's presentation of Terms and Conditions (and the customizability of them) is significantly better than Etsy's. The text is big and obvious with a box you check and a button you click to say "yes, I've read this, and I agree with it." So, I don't think it's 100% necessary on every single listing.

If I had to pick one more thing with room for improvement, it's discoverability. When I scroll through the most common tags people use for finding tarot readers and other diviners, this seller rarely appears. Why? Because their readings are tagged using their unique filing system (which is a good thing to have!)... and not much else. They tag with "tarot readings," but that's all. Their pinned post with all their information has one tag for their filing system and nothing else.

In talking to this person, they wish they got more requests. It seems to me that they're not really reaching their audience because they're not reaching. In order to be found, you have to be in the tags. To be in the tags, you have to post and tag accordingly. Having a pinned post is all well and good, and reblogging yourself is fine, but that won't make you appear at the top of the tags.

Constantly posting about readings being open can be annoying for the diviner and potential querents. Spam should be avoided. But never posting means never getting discovered! Intermittent posts stating that your readings are open, defining the types of readings you're doing briefly, linking to your pinned/guidelines post, and then adding notes and links for commissions are ideal. Essentially, whenever this person finds themselves going "hm, I wish I was getting requests right now," they should make a fresh post on the readings blog with tags for things like "#free tarot readings," "#free divination," and "#paid divination." It's the best way to get discovered, which is the only way to get requests, which is the only way to get paid.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This seller has a lot of potential. They've got a solid style that comes through clearly in their readings. Over time, as they get more confident, I really do think they'll see a fair amount of success.

Oh, also, raise your prices. Ten dollars for twenty cards is nonsense, unless the entire reading - discussing with the querent, drawing the cards, laying them out, doing the interpretation, writing up the analysis, doing edits, and publishing - takes no more than one hour.

Think in terms of a livable wage: How many hours does a reading take? How much are you trying to make per hour? How much is fair to make per hour? If this reading takes one hour, you're making $10.00 per hour. Is that really fair, even to a novice? And even if you think it is, is it fair to someone more advanced? The time spent honing one's skills is worth compensating. And, for that matter, so is the investment in the tools being used. Consider their cost. If they were all gifts, perhaps it doesn't matter, but think about it. If you were using one tarot deck purchased for $60.00, how many readings would it require to break even on that investment? What about if you're factoring an hourly wage?

Remember: You're not just drawing cards. You're spending time and energy beyond the motions of the divination. The time spent communicating, training, and writing is also part of the service being provided.

Food for thought.

Average Score & Summary

The average of all six scores comes to a total of 4.6/5. Pretty damn good! It feels nice to rate someone so highly.

This seller and their shop have a ton of potential. I know I keep saying that, but it's because it's true! It's my number one takeaway.

Honestly, I think this shop is a really good example of someone who's uncertain but doing their best. They're already aware of their position as a diviner. It's a shockingly easy (and very tempting) thing to grift and lie and manipulate in this space. The fact that this seller is making efforts to be as transparent as possible and shares so much of their practice - holy shit, that list of tools, though! - means a ton.

In a magical services landscape choked with the smog of bullshit artists, frauds, and inflated egos, this seller is a breath of fresh air. I genuinely look forward to seeing their success.

Take notes, folks. This one's textbook.

Final Notes

Many sellers in this series anonymous for a reason. Please do not go find these people. Even if I'm exposing a blatant scam to warn people about it, do not harass anyone. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated. When appropriate, I attempt to contact the seller(s) to discuss their ads and listings *or* report them where possible. Again, do not attempt to contact or bother the sellers, even if my coverage of them is negative.

If you spot an ad or a product listing in the wild that you want me to see or cover, send me a link, a screenshot, or the name of the shop. You can send it via ask or DM on Tumblr or to thewitchaese@gmail.com. Or, if you're a legitimate seller and want me to take a look at your listings (anonymous or not), shoot me a message or an email to chat about it! Examples of what to do are just as important as examples of what not to do, after all.

And, if you enjoy this series or my other work, please consider dropping a couple dollars in my tip jar! Writing is my full-time gig, and contributions help keep this boat afloat.

Thanks for reading!

[aihoshiino]

So what are your thoughts on the OnK dub? I checked out a bit of it because I'm considering asking a family member who's usually not into anime to watch the first episode with me and she has an easier time watching dubs than subs (even if she doesn't want to watch the whole series, I think the first episode works REALLY well on its own).

Anyway, I'm kinda disappointed with what little I've heard. I feel like Rie Takahashi so thoroughly embodies Ai to me that her English VA just really isn't hitting (no disrespect to her, ofc). I really dig Aqua's VA, but Ruby is another one where I just feel like they don't embody the character very well.

I haven't watched the whole thing yet, just episode 1! I was mostly interested in getting a feel for Ai's English voice performance since that helps me with feeling out dialogue so I didn't really have any motivation to rewatch the series just for the dub past that LMAO

That said... I think it's a bit of a mixed bag! A big part of that is just that the script suffers from Literally Just The Subtitles-Itis which is kind of a big handicap for anyone's spoken performance, because the subs are just not really written to be delivered out loud by performers in a natural way. It also means nobody really has a distinctive character voice in terms of like, phrasing and vocab choices the way they do in Japanese - which is another reason I'll always champion YenPress as the best translation of the series, since it actually retains all that stuff in a very natural sounding way BUT. THAT'S FOR ANOTHER POST...

Another issue is that some of the performances are a bit hit or miss across the board. Generally, I think Ichigo and Miyako were really great, Ai and baby Aqua were good, Ruby was okay but a bit shrill at times and everyone else was just kind of Unmemorably Fine but they definitely all felt stiffer than I would've liked. This has always been kind of a problem with HiDive/Sentai's dubs (at least imo) even when the actors themselves are totally fine in other shows, so I assume this is an issue with the direction they get as opposed to the performers themselves being an issue.

That said, I did hear a few clips of dub (grown up) Aqua and... I don't really think he's a good fit...! Which I feel bad for saying because I know his dub actor is really passionate about the series, but I just think he sounds way too old for him (and yes, I sense the irony). Ootsuka's voice for Aqua is very low and level, yes, but I think he has a very believably teenage boy tone that you can especially hear during his more lively moments. Whereas dub Aqua fully sounds like, a guy in his 30s with a 9-5 and a mortgage to worry about. It's a good performance, it just doesn't sound right coming out of Aqua (to me, anyway).

ALL THAT BEING SAID..... I actually have really come around on Ai's dub actress! I think Takahashi's performance would've been kind of impossible to live up to no matter who it was because it's so iconic and, as you said, such a thorough embodiment of everything Ai is as a character. But I think Donna's take on Ai is really cute and really likable in her own way! If she had a better script, I think she'd really shine.

I also think she absolutely knocked Ai's final scene out of the park, no notes. In fact, ask me on the right day and you might even catch me saying that I kind of like Donna's take on the scene more than Takahashi's. Rie's performance is, I guess, more technically proficient and it has this breathless, angelic quality to it but Donna's is so incredibly raw and human. The way her voice breaks as she says the twins' names and the way she seems to genuinely struggle to get the words 'I love you' out.... ouughhhh it's so good... the first episode kind of is the words 'Aqua, Ruby, I love you' and I think that was the scene it was the most important for them to get right and they absolutely did.

So yeah, overall, I don't think it quite stacks up to the Japanese audio track but I think it's serviceable. A lot of people seem to spend a lot of time performatively shitting on it as The Worst Dub They've Ever Heard, which. fellas, this isn't even the worst modern dub i've ever heard. It's fine. It does what it has to.

[qilingxiong]

twilight of the warriors: and the award for best in nostalgia goes to...

i've spent a lot of time in the last couple months thinking about this movie. not just the characters, the story, and the film's production, but also about the place it's come to occupy in hong kong media and film history since its release. and there's one thing i keep circling back to.

when i saw twilight of the warriors for the first time, back in august, the very first thing i said when my parents and i got out of the theatre was, "that was a very 80s hong kong movie".

in hindsight, i would say this is in an understatement. totw doesn't just 'feel very 80s'. it's a tribute, a love letter to 80s hong kong, which reproduces both the city and the cinema of that time. this is in nearly every way it can, from the fight choreography, to the casting, to the overarching themes and genres it pulls from, all in a prominent setting specific to hong kong that nothing in the present can erode the image of (the walled city was demolished from 1992-1993. it belongs to hong kong's past). this was a movie made by people from the 80s and 90s, for people who remember, or want to remember, hong kong and its action from the 80s and 90s, through and through.

and it worked. it worked beautifully. totw was a massive hit at the box office, it got a standing ovation at the cannes film festival, and it's been nominated as hong kong's pick to send to the oscars in 2025. its success has been a rallying point for the hong kong film industry, after years of lamenting that it's been suffering a slow death, with the city's action movies in particular having been perceived as falling in both quality and quantity. (the movie 武替道 (stuntman), released this year and coincidentally starring totw actors terrance lau and philip ng, attempts to reckon with this phenomenon and the fading away of hong kong action cinema. it's an interesting watch when considered in dialogue with what totw came to represent.)

as a result of totw's quality and achievements, there's been one very common sentiment echoing throughout all the media buzz and internet noise surrounding the movie: hong kong cinema is back.

the following press interview snippet with terrance lau (shin/信一) in the film, describes his perspective on the worldwide reaction to totw with more detail:

"我[印象]深刻就有好多外國觀眾，佢哋講話其實等咗我哋[香港電影]返嚟好耐啦。(...) 即是waiting for the comeback噉樣。噉啊… 我諗呢句說話喺我內心重量好大嘅，即是呢，香港電影大家都知係沉寂咗一段時間啦。噉，我覺得呢套[戲]，我唔係好希望只係個別例子。我希望係一個開始，不淨係《九龍城寨之圍城》。我覺得成個行業好似幫大家打打氣，噉我哋一齊再繼續做好香港電影。"

"One thing which left a deep impression on me was how a lot of international fans said they'd been waiting for us [Hong Kong cinema] for a long time (...) As in, they'd been waiting for the comeback. I think this phrase weighed very heavily in my heart, because everyone knows that Hong Kong cinema has died down for a while now. With this movie, I hope it's not just one of a few rare examples. I hope it's just the beginning, and there's not just Twilight of the Warriors. It's as though the entire industry helps cheer everyone up, and so with that, we can continue making good Hong Kong movies together." (x)

totw is being viewed by both its creators and audiences as a revitalization of hong kong cinema, with more movies in its vein hopefully to come (some of those will be in the totw franchise, as both a prequel and sequel film adapting different parts of the novel series are slated for production). it's a rainstorm after a drought to push the industry forward, one reminiscent of what many consider to have been the 'golden age' of hong kong's media.

within this phenomenon, however, lies a paradox.

in looking through audience reactions and thoughts toward totw, it seems that it isn't necessarily praised for being a breath of fresh air, because it's a good 2024 hong kong movie.

rather, it's a good 1980s hong kong movie that was released in 2024.

and even if not quite being talked about as such, it's in no small part the ways in which totw visually, thematically, and historically connects back to 1980s hong kong that have caused it to have such a huge cultural impact.

now, i've seen online reviews before that complained totw didn't do anything new for its genre. there were similar story beats as other older modern jianghu/martial arts movies, similar character archetypes, etc. to which i say: why does everything have to reinvent the wheel? for what totw set out to do, it accomplishes it damn near close to its fullest. it's a solid story with a broad cast of interesting and well-acted characters, and the visual highlights of the movie— the walled city sets and fight choreography— were incredible. the movie was made with care and passion across the cast and crew, and it shows.

yet at the same time, when it comes to making waves across hong kong cinema, and breathing life back into the industry: is copying wheels the best we have to offer here?

i would argue that the response to totw is part of a much larger cultural reaction. the decades of the 80s and 90s are cemented so solidly in the collective memory of hongkongers (both local and diaspora) as the city's heyday that we cannot help but return to them in story. time and again, whether consciously or not. the 'golden age' of hong kong and its cultural exports are intimately recognizable symbols, comforting and nostalgic to many. given how hong kong has changed in many ways since then, up to the present day, it is admittedly no surprise that a movie of totw's qualities garnered so much attention and support. it only makes sense, that this is the classic vision of hong kong cinema people want to throw their passion behind.

but i still can't help wondering, every now and then: is there a modern hong kong cinema comeback on the scale of totw that could ever happen, away from the imaginary of the 'golden age'? or are we determined, destined even, to spend the future trying to return to the past?

i think i already know the answer.

and at the same time, adding to the bittersweet is that i know how and why we wound up where we are. the 80s and 90s were the era when the concept of a local hongkonger identity began to form, independent of other geographic regions or people's origins. if those years, their history, and memories of them are what people identify themselves as hongkongers by, who can truly begrudge them that?

as we draw further and further away from that time, maybe reminders of those decades in media like twilight of the warriors are just what they have left to hold onto.

[rosellerivers19]

I HATE Pushpa (the character)

Pushpa is a movie that was released during the pandemic and became a massive hit. Even Bollywood stars commented on the movie. The songs were memorable and the song Sooseki got around 100 million views even though the second movie hadn't released yet.

It seems South indian Cinema is getting more appreciated with films like Bhaubali, RRR and KGF Chapter 1/2 and Devara might even gain more attention due to Jr. Ntr's presence. (Which I'm super excited about I loved him ever since I was young, him and Ram charan were one of my favorites so RRR was a pleasant surprise)

I'm just disappointed that Pushpa's story is the one thats getting this attention.

Pushpa has good BGM, the setting is cool and cinematography can be considered good and Allu Arjun is always appreciated but the story is where it lacks.

Can I understand it? Yes, I've been watching TollyWood movies ever since I was 1. I was singing Gabbar Singh songs when I was a toddler. I understand what logic Tollywood tries portraying is it always right? No but its enjoyable and times were different we're evolving we want more complex and meaningful stories now Bahubali and RRR gaining attraction are examples that South Indian movie industry is evolving finally!

So imagine my disappointment when I see Pushpa the next great Tollywood film.

"Pushpa Raj is a self respecting young man who takes pride in his work. He works at a mill, but leaves it when his owner doesn't like his attitude outside of work. Pushpa goes for Red sandal wood cutting in the forest. Pushpa lives in a village with his mother Parvatamma, and is the illegitimate son of a local rich man." That is the story according to imbd.

You'd think the movie gives more context about Pushpa nope. IMBD really summed it all up and thats the problem. Pushpa's character can be summed up in a few words and there's not depth beyond those words in the movie itself.

The thing that makes this film detestable is the main character Pushpa he is not enjoyable whatsoever. It's like one of those Dark Romance ML's but they tried mixing in a few funny liners and tried making him a sunshine character as well but failed?

He's not funny I feel bad for his sidekick Kesava actually no. I like Kesava better than Pushpa Himself. He looks like he has actually meaning and depth he has relatable goals and is actually funny or seems to have some sort of personality. I wholeheartedly ship him and Srivalli's friend actually go Side characters!

Now lets compare 2 films Maari 2 and Pushpa which might seem random but let me explain

Maari in both the first one and the sequel was a gangster however do you know why i like him better than Pushpa? He has redeeming qualities he has morals like he kills bad people but doesn't want to sell drugs because he knows that can make innocent people succumb to horrible diseases like his best friend their situations are very different however Maari is seen as a morally gray character just like Pushpa is portrayed as. Maari also has morals when he kills beeja's brother for attempting to assault Anandhi's sister. He's doing something 'bad' killing a person but he essentially redeems it because of why he does it. He also gives good advice when she talks about no one wanting to marry her because she's ruined maari says she isn't an object to be ruined and its not wrong to wait how long to find a guy that understands that.

He's a troubled guy with not normal values but I can sympathize with him and actually root for him because he's a good person.

A more accurate example KGF Rocky is on a very similar path to Pushpa he only relied on his mother his whole life until she died while in Pushpa his mother and himself suffered humiliation. Pushpa was often beat up Rocky was also beat probably even more. They both started at the streets and slowly climbed up wanting money and power. Pushpa only smuggled and framed and fought. Rocky outright killed but I still like him better than Pushpa do you know why?

Because he has character Rocky's backstory is more compelling wanting to fulfill his dying mother's wishes of not wanting her son to die miserably without money like her even if it meant becoming a bad person? Hell yeah. Also similar to maari he has limits he has certain morals, clear cut morals. in the first KGF movie he outright stops traffic for a mother and her son who wanted to get some food but were unable to because of the traffic and gave her hard advice. That the world isn't gonna stop for you its harsh and not lenient and that we need to MAKE it stop. We have to put in the work and not just hope someone will always come along. This gives us insight into his views further developing his character.

Pushpa's story is he was an outcast because he was an illegitimate son and was unable to have his father's last name? So he makes his name Pushpa Raj. He disrespects his mother at times despite her being the only one there for him. He has too much Pride. He doesn't have much regard for women as we see when he gives his shirt to Jaali's victim he isn't sympathetic to her at all and is kinda indifferent except for looking away as if he's uncomfortable more than regarding her own feelings

And the thing is all of these problems could be fixed if we saw more into his character which we're only given bits and pieces of.

Pushpa isn't close to his mother? Maybe its because he blames her for all the prejudice but still cares for her somewhere in his heart which is seen through the light interactions between the two in the movie. He has too much Pride? well he feels like thats his right because he was denied everything else his father's name, money, and even necklace. He doesn't have regard for women much? Even that can be fixed like in the movie 'temper' where Jr Ntr's character first doesn't care much for other women ends up willing to give his life for them he gets character development. Pushpa could not really see a big deal in Jaali's activities until he's confronted with one of the victims himself and is reminded of the women in his life and starts to detest Jalli which ultimately bursts when Jaali sets his eyes on Srivalli.

Everything I said you can mostly think about happening in the movie but its like a real stretch you have to really put your mind on it to see it happening in the canon of the Pushpa universe its nots showed to us the viewers like in other movies we don't get clear cut shots of these narratives I spoke up being played out. Its what makes these movies lively or entertaining in my opinion because they had depth which is enhanced due to the main character himself.

So see this from my perspective a MAN is able to outsmart the police and insult them, illegally get sandal wood, Act like and arrogant bastard through most of this move, have so much intelligence out of nowhere and still gets a girl?

Reena has more personality than Srivalli I'm actually gonna begin stanning her after this.

And when I say a MAN I mean a MAN because the person Pushpa on my screen is a stranger to me I don't get a clear feel of his character or any connection to him.

I really hope these issues are rectified in the second movie but I have my doubts. Pushpa as a movie feels like a regression for Tollywood and I don't want that for my cinema industry which I know has flaws but I also know that its healing and has really good stories.

Anyways to all Indian movie lovers out hope you're excited for Devara because I sure am. Jr. Ntr in double roles? Its like Adhurs all over again. And one of his roles seems really cute too, I've wanted to see Jr Ntr in action again for a long time.

But thats all for now

Yours truly

Roselle🪷

[natequarter]

nuwho series 7

the doctor, the widow and the wardrobe (guess i'm counting this one): i think it's thoroughly mediocre. not bad, just deeply forgettable. it has alexander armstrong in it, it has one of the best lines in doctor who history in it, and that's... it. 4/10, and most of those points come from "what's the point in them being happy now if they're going to be sad later? the answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later." my heart.

asylum of the daleks: it's been ages since i rewatched, but i really like this one. like most of series 7 i like it with a heavy asterisk of "oh no, who thought this was a good idea?" and "i haven't rewatched this in years", but i do like it, more than i like the average dalek episode - probably because it's not really about daleks at all, it's about amy and rory. so for that, i can enjoy it. 7/10.

dinosaurs on a spaceship: unbelievable! a chris chibnall episode that is basically watchable! it's nothing special, but it doesn't need to be. it's functional. it's silly. it's fun. that's probably the best i could have expected of it. invasion of the dinosaurs remains the superior dinosaur title story. 6/10.

a town called mercy: wow, we're really going strong with basically functional but incredibly forgettable episodes, aren't we? i don't know how many times i can say that it's not bad but it's also not that good either. i don't really remember much that happens in it. um... amy is there. there are cowboys? it's fine. i should rewatch to answer this properly, but i don't want to. 5?/10.

the power of three: guess what? basically functional but incredibly forgettable strikes again. kate is there. the doctor does do domestic, but incredibly badly. love you, matt smith, but god, i just want this series to do something interesting already. 4/10.

the angels take manhattan: i unironically love this one. "the statue of liberty is a weeping angel" is right up there with "the brigadier's corpse got resurrected as a cyberman" in "stupid doctor who gags that really, REALLY piss off fans but i and steven moffat find hilarious". it's tragic; it's timey-wimey; it makes no sense. it's a fairytale. i love amy and rory. i don't mind a good weeping angel story. river is there, and the doctor sucks. but we knew all of that already. this is the first of many blows to eleven's mental state this series. 8/10.

the snowmen: uhhh i haven't rewatched this one in forever. i think i enjoy it? richard e. grant as the great intelligence is a hilarious choice in returning villain. i like strax, i like victorian clara, i like eleven, and i don't mind christmas specials. a tentative 7?/10.

the bells of saint john: again, too long since i last watched. i love clara and i'm fairly sure i enjoyed it at the time - i'm actually not sure if i've ever rewatched this one? it has some fun scifi concepts. once clara comes in, imo, the series gets a bit less mediocre. 7/10.

the rings of akhaten: MY BELOVED. i ADORE this story. it's good for clara, but it's even better for everyone else. great quotes and speeches. the villain is awesome. the alien worldbuilding is just delightful. the music is beautiful. i love everything about this one. 8/10.

cold war: ah, so we're back to functional but forgettable. okay then. i think this one's alright? ice warriors, clara, cold war... it's certainly a good pitch, but i don't know if it's the most genius episode out there. my memory's fuzzy on this one. 6/10.

hide: it's been a while, but this one's fucking weird and creepy but ultimately kind-hearted, so for that i enjoy it, though i don't think it's the revival's greatest story. the tardis hates clara. 7/10.

journey to the centre of the tardis: one of the few stories which still creeps me out. i think this one is unfairly disliked; very little of series 7 is actually high quality, even though none of it really hits dreadful, and this certainly isn't its low point. i love the advancing themes of clara and the doctor's relationship. bluebeard at it again. what a git. 7/10.

the crimson horror: gatiss again? ah, man. i barely remember this one, but i don't think it's terrible. we are in okay territory again, and i for one want out. 6/10.

nightmare in silver: will no one make a cyberman episode that doesn't suck? 5/10.

the name of the doctor: aw, i love this one. it's kind of messy and blurry in the same way the rest of the series is, but it has my heart. love you clara. 8/10.

the day of the doctor (yes i know these are specials, not part of the series, but where else am i supposed to rate them?): i love this one wholeheartedly. it's pure unabashed anniversary material. gallifrey back! david tennant is there as well, for some reason. lots of time travel, lots of references, lots of great emotional beats. 10/10.

the time of the doctor: i have a hard time justifying my unabashed adoration of this one, but i've watched it and the day of the doctor a lot. no, more than that. a lot. there's some messy and pointless bits about the doctor and Women (thanks, moffat, was that really necessary), but eleven and clara and handles are so important to me. i love eleven. it's such a lovely emotional storyline. 9/10.

(link)

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Every thought I had after binging Heart Killers

- also episode 10 really got to me

I know, I am very late to the party, I took a long time off. It was only yesterday that I realized Heart Killers was already airing and it's already been 10 WEEKS?! I don't know how I missed this but anyways, turns out I've started watching at the right time, ending with the most heartbreaking scene after binging this show. Good timing on my part, I'm very hooked for next week.

I didn't have high expectations since this is a GMMTV show. Even with this cast, they could have messed this up badly, but they didn't. This show has so much going on, no episode feels like a filler, the plot doesn't take forever and it's thrilling to have the characters know about each other and not saying anything for a whole episode. Truly iconic.

I am really positively surprised by Joong. His acting...he stands out and he shows raw and complexe emotions, I didn't think he had it in him but he's really good. I think he and Kao really bring a lot of emotions and authenticity to their roles.

Khao had me when Bison finds out Kant and Style are the snitches and working for the police. His face and especially his eyes said it all. He didn't cry that much, it was just one silent tear but everything was there. The utter betrayal and heartbreak really hit and Khao really acted his heart out. I think that moment shows his qualities as an actor. In general, I love the complexe roles he gets. Bison is absolutely cute until he isn't, until he kills people. I think James was a very good choice to show how fucked everybody is when Bison is angry.

"When I'm with you, you either make me feel so scared or really safe."

And then we have Joong. Since Hidden Agenda, I see his charisma, he has a very special vibe no matter which role he plays, he catches me. And not just because of his looks, guys. The scene when Fadel finds out about Style and slow dances with him, his eyes said it all. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the hope and the anger. He went through it all and let himself enjoy that moment, still hoping it wasn't true, it's a world breaking while he still believes.

He confesses his feelings, it's absolutely romantic and Style kisses him with so much affection, it breaks Fadel's heart (and mine). Because when the kiss ends, he cannot look at Style, he looks down, he hides. So he chooses to hide his face entirely and hugs Style while they slow dance. I didn't even see it at first but there is a tear falling, a silent one because it cannot be true and because Style can't know. That's when Joong absolutely delivered for me.

Sooooo, after all of that, we need to talk about that scene in episode 10 because Joong really had me there. I wasn't crying with him but I really felt a little bit depressed after that and listened to this soundtrack 10 times before I was able to do anything (song: Let it all out on me - Houses on the hill). Because it's not just the dialogue or the tears. No, it's the hug. Fadel was holding on to dear life, he clung onto Style like he was gonna die if he didn't. And maybe he woud have really died on the inside if he didn't. The whole scene is so desperate and Fadel's trail of thoughts so agonizing and it's so quiet that I could really feel it. It's raw. The trust between them is so deep but in the end it doesn't matter because Fadel is scared, I think he probably is the most scared he's ever been for Style. And most importantly, he's grieving. His ex died because of his mother, he feels responsible, he wants to push Style away and it really takes him a minute to realize Style isn't going, isn't doing what Fadel thinks is right, is not dead yet.

It's the way Style keeps holding Fadel's face and whiping the tears away. He is a keeper, he is a whole green flag in that scene, he is everything for a broken boyfriend. And I feel like the dialogue is not necessarily the most heartbreaking thing about that scene, it's not even that important. It's what happens after that shows their deep understanding and trust for each other.

We get a kiss, a kiss on the forhead, an abrupt hug, a crying hug, a desperate hug, Fadel collapsing and Style padding his head.

If that isn't love then I don't know what is. It feels like a conversation, it's Style assuring Fadel of his love, Fadel realizing it, Fadel being scared but also very relieved that he could share those thoughts and that weight. And after that he's just hanging on, he's desperately trying to feel Style near him and the moment he realizes Style keeps on holding him while he's sobbing, he's gone. Everything just comes together and we don't really get that often in BLs. Of course, his situation is...special...but still, there are moments in life when things are too much and that's when you lean on your partner or friend or anyone else.

Heart Killers has charcters that just feel extremely real even if that whole story is not close to reality. But that scene, it can happen to any of us at some point in life. It can be too much and it's hard to trust someone so much that you let yourself feel everything you don't even allow yourself to feel when you are alone. It is overwhelming but I really like how honest this scene feels. Like I said, it's lingering in my head, it caught me off guard and I just thought about it for a little while after.

[fatmclassic]

Lungs 15th Anniversary gig playlist

Last night was such a blast from the past, I went and scoured through my old ipods for my favourite gigs of the Lungs era. I tried to pick gigs which match the energy of each song otherwise too many would come from the same performance. Most are professional recordings aside from rare early tracks

Dog days are over

I went with Glastonbury 2010, this was a huge moment for the band and one of the biggest crowds of the era. Best festival anthem at the best festival.

Rabbit Heart

There are so many good versions of this it was hard to choose. But as it's another festival anthem I went for that. This T in the Park and it's one of the very few performances where she sings the high notes. Isa on backing vocals.

I'm not calling you a liar

Part of her BBC introducing set, when she started breaking into the mainstream. Nice slow build up with some cool harp action.

Howl

There isn't a heap of howl recordings. I went with this one as it has the string section. The first performance for NME brixton is raw as fuck but it's a full gig vid.

Kiss with a fist

Another festival one, Oxegen 2010. This also has an intro to it with Flo dicking about on Isa's keyboard.

Girl with one eye

Intimate early gig at the Blue Flowers club. I honestly think the dodgy sound quality adds to it

Drumming Song

My fave. Actually quite hard to find a live version with drums. The orchestral versions are all great mind, I just wanted the drums. This is from Melkweg

Between two lungs

Until that prom show honestly I didn't care much for this. She has good energy in this version from Amsterdam and mixes it up a bit

Cosmic love

This song is always good, so it was hard to pick a stand out. I went with the electric proms because the harp is so good in this one and it has the drums as well. Nobel prize concert is a close second

My boy builds coffins

Last night did the best version of this, but here's a simple version played in the park with guitar and chris playing fence railings.

Hurricane drunk

I've linked this before but I love it. The instruments sound drunk in this so how could you not. Electric proms again

Blinding

The orchestral version is great, but this song has so many electronic bits that add to it. The insanity at the end was incredible live, most otherwordly experience ever, with the strobes, the UFO noises, the cymbals and her yelling, the fact that it just.keeps.going. I was in Belfast, but this Melkweg gig has a very similar version. So sad when this was dropped from the setlist.

You've got the love

Cheating a bit since this is actually the Ceremonials era but with the intro this is just the best performance of this ever. I always come back to it.

Bird song with intro

A lot of these are either poor quality or missing the intro, but this Amsterdam gig is the full package.

Falling

Again,not many performances. But this is in a church so the echo hits just right. And someone is playing a cowbell or something so that's interesting.

Hardest of hearts

Unfortunately very few recordings that aren't either dogshit quality or incomplete. This is the best I could find, some shitty Barcelona club it seems. Least it got some love last night.

Swimming

The best performance of the like, the 4 times it's ever been played. From Hammersmith Apollo

Are you hurting the on you love?

This poor song was forgotten last night, but seems to have actually been performed a fair few times to my surprise. Sadly most are poor quality. This is the best I could find with a cool little xylophone bit, from Brighton

UNRELEASED Donkey Kosh

Actually more versions of this than the bonus tracks. Anyway I like how speedy this version is, from iTunes 2008

UNRELEASED Throwing Bricks

Back to Amsterdam London calling. Fun and energetic.

[tomyo]

Engaging with Sonic 06 on its terms.

Everyone these days is making a "Let's reexamine Sonic 06" that it feels cliche to add my take into the mix but I get to be the hipster that says I've loved this game before it was cool to. I came into the Sonic fandom in 2007, my first Sonic game was Secret Rings, and in 2012, I convinced a bunch of sweaty gamers to buy me the game and play it for me (and then I did it again with my best friend and again with another friend). If you heard me at the time, you would probably hear the same points several times over; "The music is good, The cutscenes are gorgeous when held up next to their contemporaries, and there is the cooking but under baked locations that shows this game could have been gorgeous." Today I want to explore that through what I think was the zeitgeist at the time and what each of the narratives is meant to show.

So let's go!

(heyyy so Tumblr glitched as I was writing the wrap up and I lost all the stuff I wrote for shadow and Elise but I have work in 5 hours so fuck me. I cannot explain how losing two hours of talking about Elise physically hurt. Also accidentally hit post.)

The Conceptualization

I t killhink the first thing to realize is how Square Enix almost certainly became the blueprint for the 2000s. Unbelievable realistic fmv graphics that can still hold up to this day, gorgeously rendered cutscenes with a particular use of lighting, and complex but a little dramatic stories for both their characters and world. I think there's quite a few franchises you can look at and point to how they were trying to immitate the SQ success formula and I think Sonic 06 was one of these culminations. Sega went through this huge leap in FMV quality when you think about how Sonic Adventure and Shadow (2005) have 6 years of difference. Sonic was trying to figure out how to grow up with his audience and to answer that Sega looked to what was capturing the attention of their older teen audience.

For what it's worth, I can see how they were trying to make a very contained narrative; It's alluded to that Soliana is an island so my take away is the normal Sonic group (Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Amy) were on a vacation visit for the big festival. An Important aspect I've tried to emphasize about the world of Sonic before is they're teenagers. Somewhere there is some cognitive dissonance within the fandom on that; blame the comic, the voice actors sounding too old, or the lack of human appearances but I do think it helps when you take a moment to imagine the cast as teenagers interacting in Shibuya (take anime like Air Gear or Supergals into mind) or on a comedic beach episode adventure. A lot of the aspects of teenagehood are still present in their attitudes. Possibly the issue comes from expecting mature stories to use adult like characters but we often forget that younger people still deal with these nuanced situations, even ones like Tidus and Yuna.

Sonic's Story; The World's Every Step Meets the Rest

To me the most important element of Sonic 06 is the song His World. I've had arguments with other fans who are more connected to Adventure era music over the representation of Sonic and I think it is fair to say "Sonic means something completely different to me." So let me explain what His World invokes to me; Sonic is not the sole savior of the world but he is the one that moves others to do good for the sake of doing it. If it's not reading well look at a character like Deku from MHA, his hero quality is defined by an instictual need to help someone who needs it. Why does Sonic fight Eggman? If you go back to his conception, its about Eggman's corruption of nature. Technology isn't inherently bad but to use it to enslave others is. Sonic's whole goal is to save his less anthro friends. But I would say the idea that these animals are someone like Tails is never really established, they are simple people that need saving. Fast forward to the Adventure era and Sonic simply fights Chaos because it's causing danger to the city he's in at the moment. It wasn't really till 2 where there's a more self interested reason he *starts* the adventure. What is also taught to use in the 15 years leading up to Sonic 06 is that other's gravitate towards him; Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, Cream, and so forth come into the orbit of his story and are not only effected by him but by the connections to each other found through him. It isn't Sonic who really awakens Shadow's true purpose but Amy and Rouge, who herself is effected by Knuckles. There is crossover into each other's lives and stories that ultimately leads to winning over a pessimistic future. "In his world, the world's every step meets the rest." It's a line that expresses an intrinsic connection we all have to each other, no one person walks alone and we are all the sum of our relationship to others; something we will eventually get to with Elise. As for why Sonic saves her is pretty simple; Sonic was on vacation and saw she was in trouble. "No reason." There was no reason she was decided to be helped aside from she needed it and that's all that really matters.

So let's do some lyric breakdown while I'm here; in general the first section of his world is building up the image of Sonic as a carefree dude, someone who's fast and in your face ready to challenge you (athletically or ideologically) that will ultimately bring out the better than you (If you wanna test him best bring your best). "In his world where life is strong." Life of those in the world of Sonic's is important, it is not physically strong but spiritually strong, important. "In his world life's an open book." The world around him is engaging and another exciting adventure is always around the corner because of it. "In his world where one is all." Everyone has value and therefore Sonic protects everyone like they're his friend because no one person is lesser. "In his world, never fear the fall." This can have two meanings, never fear the fall because he will be there to catch you as well as don't fear it because it's important to move with conviction and fearlessness. "In his world, where compromise does not exist." To have a lesser world where there are people cannot be happy is not something he will allow and Sonic will always strive for a better world. "In his world, the world's every step meets the rest." As stated before, everyone crosses each other's paths. A tile on a stone streets will have the footsteps of many people on it. The world will always exist because of the collective known as life and each living being holds its own importance to be valued. But equally each footprint meets because they follow his path; his friends are motivated by him to change the world as well as they were changed by him. The second bridge is about building up his accomplishments; "Coming out to win a ten out of ten", "Intergalactic Continental Champ, Running Things". But they also express Sonic as a do gooder for freedom; "Spikes up his Liberty"(Also a reference to the punk hairstyle Liberty Spike and suggests a punk ideology to Sonic), "Hyperactive instrumental at pulling strings", "Breaking down doors never following". But some lines that important into the way Sonic is treating Elise is this; "Cause the pressures of this world, the can take their toll. And it's tough to get away when they take their hold. The only way to break free is to break the mold." I've seen a few complaints for Sonic telling Elise to simply smile, but His World reenforces what Sonic is trying to express is to reject complacency in a world where you've accepted less for yourself as well. The world can't change if you don't change and "Smile" is shorthand for accept happiness right now rather than be sad over the future not here yet. To cry over the future is to accept that you cannot create a most optimistic one.

The second chorus is the same but with new call in the background; "Gotta make your own way!" You have to determine your own life for yourself (as opposed to simply let the role of a princess dictate it). "Life is just a game you play!" While it's cheesy given the context of being video game music, the point stands that to win in a video game is nominally made by your choices is, to choose it to move forward for yourself. "Notice that we're here to stay!" Sonic (and his friends) are promising that they will always support you (Elise in this case). You do not have to battle the world on your own. Now His World is used intensely throughout the game and has a ridiculous amount of variations to it including fully different lyrics. This theme that Sonic believes in the importantance of the individual coarses through the game's story and while I won't go into the Crush 40 version right now, I do want to note the extra lines in the Zebra head version; "When you leap without a net you'll find, it won't be there all the time. So watch your step don't fall." Sonic is that safety net, he's there to help you take that leap but there is a point where you should leap without relying on that net to be there and leap expecting it not to be there (true independence).

As I've been saying, that is the Sonic I know that was presented through me as I grew up in the 7th gen console era; A person who saves people for no reason other than to save them, physically and emotionally. Jason Griffith will always be my Sonic because I like how his performance notes elements of vulnerability in his confidence. I know that warble he does is somewhat memetic to a lot of people but to me it presented an element of relatability for the lives he touches. To be clear for what I'm about to say, I am a Dreamcast hyper fan but the Adventure Era was a little insular with its cast, often being tied to just several combat ready characters rather than involving itself with civilians. The dark age of Sonic though had a large presence of that; Elise, Sahara, Merlina, Chip. While yes all these characters ultimately have extreme importance to their worlds, they're a lot less go getter and in need of help from Sonic at the start of the story. Sonic is not meant to grow but mentor them into being the ones who grow, portraying him as a caretaker and empathetic. It's not to say these weren't present traits before but his 90s image was attitude while his Dreamcast one was cocky; he's a teen of course so it's a natural element of him. But the Dark Age Sonic started to grow up emotionally as his stories got more involved to which a softer personality greatly conflicted with the post 9/11 Americana machismo, softer characters were not a welcome to a casual audience that was shifting more towards grittier stories that were grabbing at a more immature adult world. It's no wonder then that 2010s Sonic tried to back pedal hard and gave him an almost frat boy like personality at his new voice generation start. With Sonic Frontiers, I'm happy the tides changed back into a more emotionally subtle sonic.

Also this yapping and I haven't even really talked about the Sonic's Story; first off it's definitely unfortunate because while I think most can fill in the blanks, even the narrative of Sonic 06 got rushed. It does feel like there were points there was supposed to be more downtime with Elise, a slow building familiarity from her initial formality. Elise in her own way might be a bit foreign to Sonic, there's an aspect of moroseness to her in how calm she often is a the start. I'm trying to do my own section on Elise so I want to save it for later but I think in some ways it was meant to trouble Sonic how restrictive she was emotionally; a little too unbothered with her own safety while taking responsibility for anyone else's.

Sonic's Story really is Else's Story, Sonic's major purpose is trying to give her a normalcy that she denies herself. He is trying to be a companion to someone he sees struggling with constant fear for a nation ultimately become the devoted knight as the goal becomes more murky the more outsiders come into play.

Something I think was very intentional is how involved Sonic's cavalcade of friends are to the narrative (often a big sore point of this age ironically). Elise is extremely solitary but Sonic's friends are integral to his success and often the previously built bonds play an important role into each of the main 3 narratives. Within each, there's particularly a female character that expresses a devotion that effects the story's MC. Sonic with Elise with a little bit of Amy, Shadow and Rouge, and Silver with Amy and Blaze. For Sonic, it's the fact Elise is someone he's trying to convince into saving herself. Give a man a fish vs. eating a fish. Ultimately thought their bond is a catalyst for the calamity Elise fears; a divine irony.

Shadow's Story; If the World Chooses to Become My Enemy

The most important line to me in the entirety of the game is the one from Rouge; "Even if everyone in the world with be against you, know that I'll always remain by your side."

Shadow's Story presents him as now a very competent agent for the same organization that plans to have him one day contained, the greater tragedy is by making one of his own friends do it and the same friend who would wait 1000 years so he could save him. It's not Omega's fault as he was likely being controlled to do it but one could read into how determined he attacks Mephilis as an expression of anger knowing the results.

Shadow often keeps aloof but through actions you can often see his connections built to others. He's familiar enough to tinker with Omega and will keep helping Rouge acting like it's a reluctant choice. I'm particular, I like the dynamic of those two the most in this game as they have a lot of history. In adventure 2, it's a major character moment where he saves Rouge as she was becoming at peace with Death.

Silver's Story; And I Might Know of The Future, But You Still Control the Past.

Silver has only known a world of conflict, he knows it was started by Iblis but not much else. As a 14 year old who seems to be charge in keep Iblis at bay, he's a bit naive in his actions. When Mephilis provides a solution, he jumps on it as the right answer. What he doesn't expect is to run into Amy.

Now before we talk about Amy, let's talk about Blaze. I *think* this is Blaze's origin story. While I haven't gotten a chance to play through the Rush series, her character seems a bit less world wise; she's very hands off and doesn't engage with morality much. During the end of Silver's story, she tells him to send her to another universe. Ultimately I believe the implications are that this is how she became a princess in another dimension and Iblis is the source of her flame powers (and prior she was particularly just in tune with sensing his presence). But where she would be his assumed mentor, her character falls flatter than I remember with the most major thing is incepting the idea into Silver that the chaos emerald turns your thoughts into reality.

Amy on the other hand is the one who effects Silver morally. It's dark out, she mistakes him for the wrong guy, but he is in need of help and she knows her guy is the best option. Amy gets a lot of shit (many of you might know I am a die hard Amy stan) but she's one of the people who takes most to heart Sonic's message. When she runs into Elise, she picks up on the situation she's in quickly and doesn't hesitate in getting her out of there. Often when there is an antagonist in the story, she's the one able to emotionally connect with them; Gamma, Shadow, Emeral, and now Silver. She's pushy but it's because of that that Silver even gets sidetracked off his mission which he needs. Without realizing it, Amy is giving him the chance to question what he is doing. Amy is shattered to realize Silver's goal was to kill Sonic. Again I think we are supposed to infer that they've developed a pretty decent friendship at this point and why it was Amy chosen to be this role is likely to how similar they are; close in age, trusting of others, a bit dramatic and a little naive. To Amy, Sonic will always be the one looking to save others and could not do wrong but To Silver, his morality did not change that he would curse the world. "If I had to chose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!" Yes on some level this is an expression of her love for him but I think it goes further than that; Sonic as I've said is this beacon of good that makes others do good in turn and to loose or turn against that is never something she would allow. It feels parallel to Rouge's statement to Shadow, that against the world she would still choose him.

This shakes Silver into a contemplative state; he's been only viewing this from a greater good stance and even after talking to Blaze, he still seems a little more restrained and in his head than before. It's only Mephilis that puts him back on the path.

The other parallel we see a lot of with Silver is the mentor role both Mephilis and Shadow take on; Mephilis is a literal devil on one shoulder and Shadow isn't quite an angel but he does lead Silver on the right path. In a way, the mission almost feels cult like, Silver questioning the reasoning is often shot down for the phrase "Do it or life is bad." And we are seeing essentially various characters deprogram him as he slowly starts connecting pieces to a different solution. I don't think Sonic Team was literally meaning to parallel cult like behavior but rather it's a side effect of the "parenting" Silver is getting. Shadow does not tell Silver what to do, he moreso gives Silver the means to learn for himself. Initially just fighting, Silver mimicks chaos control having learned from Mephilis transporting him, Blaze's words, and Shadow's techniques. Rather than just insist to Silver what the truth is, he tells him to seek answers for himself.

Silver's character often gets a lot of misrepresentation himself; out of all the characters, he is the most to understand what is going on. He discovers time travel chaos control through example, learns the way to seal Iblis, and most importantly learns that the trigger is because Elise has cried. Silver give Elise the blue emerald understanding three things; 1. The princess has experienced and will experience plenty hardship leading to her death and the flames of disaster 2. The chaos emeralds manifest the user's desires 3. All 7 give a miracle. Silver finally looks to Elise and sees someone like him and he wants that girl to be able to wish for something.

So yeah, we weren't gonna not analyze Dreams of an Absolution. The song is possibly the most strongly literal as it tells the story of Silver. "And Every night I lay away and find no conclusion, and every night I dream of an Absolution." A preadventure Silver wanting an end to the torment of Iblis. "In the night light do you see what you dream? All your troubles, are they all what they seem? Look around you then you may realize, All the preachers, all with their lies." Silver believes Sonic to be the source of all his issues but he's being fooled by the preacher (Mephilis). "And I might know of our future but then you still control the past. Only you know if you'll be together, only you know if we should last." Silver lives in oblivion but Sonic and Elise control that fate. Their choice in being together directly affects the lives of the future. "In the night light do you still feel your pain. For the valor you waited never came?" Silver keeps missing his chance and then Amy completely stops him. "If you were able, would you go change the past? To mend a faux pas with one last chance" Silver questions if this goal is necessary. "In the night light do you see what you dream, all your triumph and all you'll ever be?" Silver is defined by his identity as the defender from Iblis. "Look around you then you may realize, happiness lies trapped in misery." This line can be applied multiple ways; Silver realizing how Elise's own happiness is tied with Sonic which causes her misery, how possibly there was happiness in the future despite the misery, how you can find good moments during bad times. "And who knows what of our future, We can all try to change the past." This might be more related to last story, Silver in the end chose not to change the past and now that the flames still got released through all of time, he is still realizing there is room to work towards a better future in the worst of times. "Cause every night I will save your life, and every night I will be with you. Cause every night I will make it right, and every night I will come to you. But every night it just stay the same and I dream of an Absolution." Silver will always play the hero and is always willing to save others but he burns for a finality of the situation. "And you'll see, what you'll be, and you'll see, all you can be." This can refer to believing in himself or believing in Elise as she has become more self assured in her goals. "And every night, I will dream, and you'll see. Yeah, this is my dream!" Silver finally achieved the catharsis of the end of Iblis.

A persisting theme in Sonic 06 is the longing to reunite with another person. Sonic and Elise keep being separated and brought together, Elise's father wants to gain the power to return to his late wife, Omega waits 1000 years to save Shadow in the future, Amy is searching for Sonic, and Silver is eternally separated from Blaze. Then there is Solaris, a powerful diety that transcends time who is split into two pieces, a distortion of the original. Mephilis's motivation naturally puts him in opposition with the cast. He cannot rejoin with Iblis without breaking the seal (Elise). While he is stereotypical evil, it can also be argued it's a divine punishment.

Elise's Story; If You Have Time to Worry, Then Run

Last story; Could You Stay Forever More?

While I was not raised religious, the eternal flames still brings to mind ideas like the presence of god, the Oil that burned for 8 days (perseverance), and the Phoenix that cannot be killed. There is a spirituality to Soliana and even carries into Elise's design with the angelic motif of feathers (if you want to go with the Phoenix concept, her hair is flame red too). It's never fully conceptualized but there's a power she holds, a sixth sense for the presence of others and a protecting aura in some levels. At face value it can represent how she is a vessel for a god. Even the chaos emeralds have had a slight lore revision as they now are able to manifest strong desires and wishes. It's also just a Dragon Ball reference. But all the changes build up to the theme of faith and belief. It has a resemblance to Christianity (Really Judaism) but I see it more related to a faith in others, y'know that whole "His World" segment. It's kind of the worship of your connection to another, a willingness to condemn everything in the name of the one who matters most to you. It's the declaration Amy makes, Rouge makes, Blaze's sacrifice, and pretty much the same for Mephilis to Iblis (a literal version of the soulmate myth).

And then there Elise who at the end makes the same declaration. For the others (minus Mephilis) there's this sense in faith that their respective hedgehog will be the answer for a better tomorrow but in this case, Elise wants to reject salvation. I don't want to do the full breakdown for Elise's theme, the song for last story, at risk of messing the flow up but there are a few lyrics I want to bring attention to: "You taught me that life can be revived" which is both very literal to Elise wishing Sonic back to life but also to how he gave her the chance to feel alive after she lost everything. "If you'll be by my side, the world will be a better place.." The idea that anything can be overcome with the person who is special to you. Overall the song focuses on that theme of longing to stay with someone who gives you strength knowing that they will likely be far away from you soon and coping through that concept. The loss of Sonic is also the loss of her own growth throughout the story even if it possibly means she never had to go through the loss that caused the need in the first place. For the final time she is reminded; "Just Smile". A message to preservere through the heartache (if you are reading this before I can add restore Elise's section this will be so confusing). With blowing out the candle Elise undoes her father's sin, the rejection of loss, through the acceptance of her own.

[seonghwacore]

hello! I saw we are talking about kq and their rushed schedule for ateez and well if that isn't something I always want to rant (a bit) about. I have to admit though I've never been much into the lore. My first cb with them was fever pt 2, so I can't comment on things before then, but somehow it felt to me like they were putting quality over quantity then? ESPECIALLY compared to the work/golden hour 1 cb. I'm sorry but that was so rushed and kinda generic, the concept pics had nothing to do with the mv, the mv was fun but extremely random after the vibe the concept pics set, the outfits were generic, the background even more so, and why were there 27 pic per member. Fireworks had 1 pic per member per version (minus diary), and I'm biased bc it was my first cb and arguably the best hwa concept pic ever to be released, but that had IMPACT. It felt like they had a vision and then that was more than "hot men in suits/slutty clothes". and then the promo shows, I don't think they recycled an outfit even once, and overall it just seemed like everything had a bit more time to breathe? Pretty sure salary lupin was on at the time, but not 5000 other things all ot once. Sure covid was still a thing then, but why do they need a tour, a Korean cb, a Japanese cb, some random collab, and god knows what other things all at the same time? that's too much for them, but also for us as fans. Sorry I really disliked the work comeback because of everything that wasn't the music or ateez themselves and I really fucking hope that was a one off thing, and didn't set the standard for future cbs

HI FIO! forgive me for the super late reply 😭 i actually read briefly your msg and decided that this topic required more attention bcs i did have a super serious, lengthy talk with an atiny bff abt atz's creative direction lately and we shared the same idea. i just dont want to respond to your rant halfheartedly, thus.

And with the sneak peek of the next cb, I HIGHKEY THINK your little rant, just, hits too close to home 😔

OKAY, WHEW this gon be long. personally, what you felt about work cb (and the chilling, ominous vision of the future cbs' direction) is super valid. i feel the same thing too, except you're also very detail abt their outfits and concepts. sometimes i question myself if im being... too annoying about their music, esp work cb.

there's a reason i stop commenting [on their music] and it's bcs i don't want to appear... know-it-all, annoying, or other adjectives associated with these words. i got into the fandom just last year, i cant really say much, knowing im also not a certified music critic. but also i've been listening to them "blindly" since answer til halazia until i officially jumped in so, do i or do i not have the capacity to throw my opinion like this 😂

and even without looking at their visuals, to me, their music quality was already proven undoubtedly top notch, unique, quite ahead of their, well, competitors. had a little difficulty digesting the batshit futuristic instruments going behind their vocals at first (and the freaking remixes asksjkf) but overall, their songs always sound like they're crafted with heart and passion for the lore. for the journey. and im glad that they're not a headless worm going just anywhere with their music. or even worse, to achieve tiktok success. just like.... most artists... in the industry all over the world.

i think because i found them at the time i lost myself the most and their lore and storytelling have a certain goal to achieve. even if it's breaking the norms, even if you have to believe in yourself. i think i become so attached with the kids bcs of their bold music and even bolder message. you know,,, the psychological connection in this paragraph.

so, when they keep insisting that working during holidays are their choice, i just, sigh. knowing that a lot of fans would still defend them (esp twttiny bcs they always seem excited for the boys which is good but girlypops u dont have to gaslight urself if ur not liking it now). i dont even want to sugarcoat this anymore im worried that this is not a matter of "being genius creative tanks" but the need to be able to stay afloat in the trend, in the industry, cus theyre coming fr a relatively small company. and im really not sure how to feel abt that crying laughing rn. im worried theyre exhausted, not physically but their inspiration well.

i really wish they could engage in some other activity, or at least, brought wanteez back as the easy days. they dont have to be an all rounder really. just have fun in more original contents ig. not gonna touch the fashion weeks thingy cus im the least fashionable person in the clerb 😂

on the other side, foolish me to believe strongly and tell myself that kq would follow the lore, put the lore as the backbone of their creative direction for their music and expand from there. anything. music, short movies, random clips, visual diary, whatev. i didnt realize, they have the authority to bend the lore itself. like... what happened to, not sure, thunder, or halateez, in the latest diary log. if u felt that work was rushed, i agree. i am still confused til now tho i accepted that cb p well aljdlasjda

but yeah, i think i will stop expecting from now on and just listen. im too tired to analyze the lore, too tired to criticize and/or sugarcoat my opinion. if i like it, then i like it, if i don't then i don't. im open to discussion but i will definitely refrain from commenting. don't wanna spoil other people's fun ofc ofc. but this one we share fio, yeah i think i need to let out a little 😂 sorry this is getting a bit out of control fio. But like you said, hope that this is a one off thing too.

last but most importantly, i hope that you're doing great now, with whatever that's going on in your life. tis getting colder these days so take care, bestie 💚💚💚

[kodas]

I would love to hear more about your headlights/brain-critters

aaaaaa thank u for taking interest!! some have a couple nicknames. from left to right: pup/ruff (it), fawn/flux (it), daze (it), red/"pants" (it), mothdog/(???) (they/it), flow crow (they/it)

my headlights often co-front, so distinctions between the lights are only easy to draw a line for if I'm heavily dysregulated or burnt out. usually I have more than one light on. lights depicted next to each other frequently front together (ie, pup+fawn or snail+red or fawn+daze, etc.)

if I'm doing very well and feeling present (& not experiencing any derealization), most of my lights will be on at the same time. they all make up who I am as "koda" and all identify with being koda, but they each have different circumstances to be "on call" for and different needs/goals on their own. not being lit means that light might have to play 'catch up' to remember details of events they weren't present for. I have memory problems lol

if the appropriate light isn't turning on when it needs to, another light will fill in but they won't have the ability to do the 'job' quite the same, leading to faster burnout. this applies to everything: tasks, games, project production, communication, forms of intimacy, etc. drawing with and without flowcrow produces a different quality of output, for example. this is why I call it flowcrow lol. back when I streamed art as puddle it'd usually be a combination of flow+moth. when I was doing xko gameplay streams, it was often pup+fawn with moth or flow chaperoning.

when other lights are out and only fawn is active, I'm in some state of awe. often this means the freeze or fawn response, even in good situations or around trusted people. I like drawing it full of stars when depicted with wonder or feeling intense adoration. it 'lights up' by turning the lights out and gettin' all starry.

moth is on-call and does most of our masking in public situations or anything outside, and is almost always in a state of hypervigilance. they're most active in social situations/group environments and body maintenance and tires out often. mothdog is the only headlight that eats, the others are repulsed by eating or show disinterest. I've been drawing them more like a black wolf-like dog/chowchow with mothman features because they're pretty stand-offish, so cryptid iconography hits right. there's been a long-standing desire to give it a name outside of 'mothdog' but all suggestions so far are met with a "no not that ❌" so we're not rushin it.

flowcrow is an on-call chaperone to other lights for certain activities, but isn't always available and sometimes fucks off (lol). it often switches on for life admin/planning tasks or stuff like learning languages/math, more exhausting comprehensive stuff.

flowcrow and daze solo-front more than any other light but are admittedly pretty antisocial/introverted. flowcrow can feel a complete disconnect from the body and daze is the opposite, unable to shut-off feeling chronic pain unless in trance. (my partners catch me staring off for a long while usually stuck in a memory or trauma flashback. when they 'wake' me, daze is usually no longer solo fronting). daze straight up does not like to be perceived outside of the body, but sometimes has to when all other lights are out.

pup and red are highly reactive and unmasked, they light up all the time with other lights active, but only feel safe enough to solo-front for long around partners/incredibly close friends.

I draw red as a nightcrawler because it's influenced by my delayed flee response, but I also like using ghost imagery for it too. if anthropomorphized further I make it a bit more doggy-like. there are times when red disappears completely for days (sometimes weeks) and I tend to depict it resting within daze because they are connected

anyhow, I've been working out the details on these critters since... late 2019? early 2020? I drew my first diagram for them in 2020

in 2023 I made some comics with my lights drawn as critters. I started working on my dissociation/dysregulation/cptsd in therapy back in 2016/2017. I have a bit more info about them on my website's about page, but the detail I go into is limited over there. way before that I made 'headspace' (a couple of animated shorts about puddle having more puddles in their head) knowing I had a dissociative disorder & cptsd but not feeling comfortable to really get into the details of each light and the purpose they serve. for that cartoon I narrowed it down to 4 lights. to this day I still group them when I talk about them, like on this blog with my tags. #daze is for both daze+red, #ddog is for fawn+pup.

thank you for asking, anon. I've been wanting to actually type all of this out for posting but often got spooked and backspaced a lot before getting your ask. we really appreciate the nudge🌌

obligatory disclaimer:

I'm not interested in syscourse. I recognize every system forms the way it does for reasons to suit the life the body experiences. if you experience plurality, you might not experience the 'divide' and co-fronting in the same way I do. that being said, I know my lights are sourced from my cptsd and strong cognitive dissonance I held for a lot of my early upbringing and a means of which to cope with the circumstances I was trapped in. it formed when I was very young, with fragmentation occuring throughout adolescence. where I can specifically draw lines and similarities between my lights and certain abstractions/iconographies are specfic to my experience with dissociation & multiplicity and does not apply to all or any other systems.

[kubb-is-a-swedish-lawn-game]

yesterday I got onion bagels at the store and I decided I wanted to make an egg and cheese bagel sandwich. so today I dug out a tiny little square pan I've never used that is meant to grill a sandwich and intended to make a little egg patty with it. I had everything laid out! bagel on a plate ready to be popped in the toaster. pan on the burner. I pour the egg into the pan and give it a little stir and then it hits me oh no oh dear I forgot to butter the pan. now this is something I frequently do while cooking because I am rather forgetful and not good in high-stress situations and cooking though I love it is a very high-stress situation for me BUT this usually isn't that big of a deal! the pans I usually cook with are very good quality nonstick pans! This pan was not nonstick. I can't emphasise how not nonstick this pan was. this pan might've been a Stick pan, made specifically for food to stick to it. the underlayer of egg and the pan had stuck together like long-lost brothers waiting to be reunited, embracing so tightly they may never part again. I'd say a whole fucking egg's worth got stuck to that goddamn pan. In the process of desperately trying to scramble the remaining unstuck egg so that I'd still have something to eat I also realized that I put too much egg in this poor little pan and now there was egg overflowing, spilling out of the corners and onto the burner. the eggs, unable to make up their mind on how they wanted to ruin my meal, were half burnt and half undercooked, parts of them strangely grayish. in my haste I also forgot to butter the bagels so it was dry as a desert too as I finally sat down to eat this terrible mess. this is the first time in years that I have experienced the urge deep in my gut to say "I'm going to kill myself" out loud

[hestzhyen]

On Writing Fan Fiction and Stuff

Just some thoughts since I've been writing my own and reading other's for a few months now... (I only have one on AO3, yes, but I write a lot of stuff I don't share with the wider world.)

Emotional Validation is a Shitty Reason to Make Stuff

I'll admit I was a little disappointed when my 12.9k HakuHiro fic didn't get a decent kudos/hit count ratio. I figured it would be a slog for a lot of people who just wanted to read some porn but man, only 38 kudos and 5 comments (1 of which is me replying) for 547 hits? Not even 10% of the people who checked it out thought it was worth tapping a button for? Damn I suck. 3-ish months of writing and hardly anyone bothered to get through it.

If I finish someone's fic and didn't hate the experience I hit the "Kudos" button. I read smut, gen, heavy angst, fluff, anything that piques my interest... if you do a good job I give you a thumbs up. I figure it's only polite to acknowledge the effort that went in to making the thing, you know? So seeing a bad ratio on my own work makes me wonder where I went wrong.

Obviously I write because I enjoy it- I spend most of my free time dumping my brain out in text form for one reason or another. But there's a part in all of us that wants a little pat on the back for doing a good job at the things we put effort into. And damn it, I'll still write no matter how badly my stuff is received, but... DAMN IT! I wish I didn't care so much about the things I put pieces of myself into.

When I do a weekly chapter post for Kagurabachi it's just me yeeting my thoughts out into the void. This post is pretty much the same. I'm yapping about boring nonsense and it's a bonus if other people find it useful or entertaining. But I wanted Liminal Night to be different.

I normally keep all my fan fiction and personal writings to myself as drafts like so:

Notepad++ is a valid word processor application, I swear

Liminal Night was the first thing I wrote purely for myself and shared.

It was genuinely a bit scary to put myself out there like that even though it's "just fan fiction". It's still the only thing with a "FINAL" tag instead of "DRAFT" because nothing else I've written is good enough to share if something that took me ~3 months to make was met with mostly silence. I'm agonizing over everything like never before now- would the character say this like that? Is the pacing off? Am I being too descriptive here? Should I try to be more abstract with this imagery? It's pushing me to be better, but I hate the motivation behind it.

I shouldn't care so much about people being disinterested in my work. I shouldn't be wanting validation. But I do. I want at least a tap of a button, god damn it. Show me you finished the thing and didn't hate it! The silence gets to me so bad, man...

I'm working on the sequel but now I'm wondering if it's worth it. The canon scenario is so far removed from the premise of this fic that I'd have to use a "canon divergence"/"non-canon compliant tag" and I wouldn't read something with that kind of scenario- I like things to be canon or canon-adjacent as much as possible. And if the masses want bottom Hakuri more than bottom Chihiro but don't want to read the prequel then they won't check it out... if I shift it closer to canon then it's still divergent because Hakuri and Chihiro are separated right now... and I didn't want to do a hosptial fic anyway... and this... and that... and Liminal Night was so boring that less than 10% of the people who checked it liked it so why bother sharing. I'm shit at this and should just keep it all to myself like I always have. Boo fucking hoo.

The logic is so fucking scuffed! I'm a support player for fuck's sake, I know that Big Number isn't the be-all, end-all metric for quality. I'm sick of feeling like I suck just because people didn't like the thing that I was anxious about sharing. Maybe it doesn't deserve the bad ratio! It also got some very sweet comments full of praise so shouldn't those matter too?

I'll still share the sequel. But maybe I'll turn to abusing Anonymous posting if I post anything else like another writer seems to be. Somehow it's easier to be detached from how a work "performs" if it's shared without a clear identity. I have mixed feelings on if my writing style is easily recognisable or not so I'll just assume it's not distinct enough to attach to my name.

Anyway. On to shorter things.

What's With the Humming and Fluttering?

Why do so many characters "hum" in fan fiction? Humming happily, in concern, out of displeasure, etc. Guessing it's meant to be more of a "hmm" type of noise or just wordless emoting with sound... but to me, "humming" implies at least a smidge of musicality in the tone. I don't really have a complaint about it but it's kind of funny to see a sentence like "Blorbo hummed in disappointment at Bleegle's stupidity but said nothing." Is Blorbo functionally mute but still able to vocalize? Is it a special form of communication between them? Do they converse with vocal training exercises?

There's no one-size-fits-all replacement for this kind of thing I think, and it's not like it's a big enough issue that it needs to be "fixed". Heck maybe it's just a Hest problem and it's simply a popular way to indicate a subdued emotion that the character doesn't need to be elaborated on. It's not even really a problem to begin with. Just a bit of a headscratcher for me I guess.

The fluttering eyelashes get me chuckling every time even if it's supposed to be a serious scene. Stuff like "Blorbo's head fell back as Bingus kissed down his neck. His eyes fluttered shut as a soft sigh escaped his lips." makes me think of those corny romance novels sold in grocery stores. Or a silly over-dramatic shoujo from the 70's/80's. I don't know, maybe I'm just not built for romance and smut... my mom always did say I was "as romantic as a rock". It's just so cheesy and silly to use batting eyelashes as an indicator for arousal or being overwhelmed with romantic feelings. Like "Ooh, Mister Darcy" levels of swooning!

I seriously start giggling like a 12 year old when I see stuff like that. Sorry, fellow fic writers. I am too immature to read your smut despite being a grown-ass man.

Show Me the Feels

When I see lines like "Blorbo saw a lone kitten in a box on the ground. The poor little thing was soaked from the rain and crying, clearly too weak to jump out on it's own. It made him sad to see." I go "Yup. That's sad. Agreed, Blorbo." It's not really a bad way to explain things but it's so impersonal. I'd rather it be shown he's sad instead: "Blorbo saw a lone kitten in a box on the ground and his eyes welled up. The poor little thing was soaked from the rain and crying, clearly too weak to jump out on it's own." Why did Blorbo's eyes well up? He was about to cry, probably. What about a kitten in a box would make him do that? It's alone out in the rain and mewing for help? SAVE THAT KITTEN, BLORBO! I'm way more invested in what Blorbo's going to do when I get invested in why he's feeling the way he does.

I struggle with this one a lot. It's hard to keep this advice in mind when I'm trying to describe what's happening and properly tend to everything else that clutters up the brainspace while writing. But I practice it as often as I remember it, which is about as good as I can do with unmedicated ADHD. I think I've gotten better after writing a few challenge pieces where I limited the amount of characters I could use at once and set a max length limit. But we'll see how my next fic goes over (I learn slowly).

And What's With the Awkward Descriptions?

I lied about shorter things.

I don't read fan fiction for a professional experience. I'm not a professional writer myself either, nowhere close. But there are few things that irk me more than descriptors using hair colour, professions, or other unique traits that are awkward in context. Like "the redhead smirked at his awkward fumble" or "The mage thanked him for the news".

BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING, CONSARNIT. AND TRUST US TO BE LITERATE.

I mostly see this in slash fiction when the writer isn't confident they can be clear about who's doing what when two people of the same gender are involved. So the fallback seems to be awkward uses of "the other man" and "the blonde" to make sure we don't get lost. Stuff like that is the quickest way to lose me in the fic, though. It yanks me by the ear and says "hey, hey, it's Bingus doing the thing here, just so you know- because he's the one with blonde hair. Don't think it's Bongus, that's the other guy (who's a brunette)." Yeah, I know! I got it! You didn't need to clarify that Bingus was doing the thing because context made it clear!

And if context didn't make it clear, then step up the writing game. That's it. Yeah, the person who started the post with a pity party over their writing being unpalatable shit to most people who tried it is telling people to git gud. It's what I'm always trying to do and it's the only way to really stop this sort of thing from happening.

The only time things like "the black-haired man danced away" don't feel out-of-place are in situations where that's the primary way to tell people apart. Like meeting a bunch of strangers at once or describing someone the PoV character doesn't know very well, if at all. It's super impersonal and only makes a lot of sense when the character doesn't have much else to say about the other person. And for god's sake once you've used a "the hair colour" description once, don't keep relying on it. Save it for when noting the hair colour is important. "Hest grabbed the brunette's jaw" -> if we need to know it's specifically the brunette and not the other colour(s) we met, we don't know their name, and the PoV character either knows nothing else to tell them apart from the others OR they don't see the other person as a human with unique qualities and personality

"Hest grabbed the other man's jaw" -> good when there are two options to choose from and one of them is clearly not going to have their jaw grabbed in context

"Hest grabbed Bob's jaw" -> good, yes, do this to be specific in the simplest way possible

"Hest grabbed his brother's jaw" -> good when you want to add emphasis on the relationship between the people involved, but this is another one that shouldn't be overused

"Hest grabbed the punkish twerp's jaw" -> great for giving insight into how the PoV character feels about the person he's grabbing; also use sparingly

"Hest grabbed his jaw" -> HMM! The scary one. But context should make it obvious who "he" is. Your readers should get it if you're being clear. And honestly, this is the one that should probably be used the most!

All of these are valid to use but the rate of usage and context matter a lot. If I had to rank from "use the most" to "use the least" it'd probably go something like: Pronouns -> Names -> Relationships -> Opinions -> Characteristics -> Other Person

I'm very conscious of keeping things fresh and not boring readers with overusing words, especially when it comes to how I refer to characters. No one wants to read a paragraph full of "She, she, she, she, she" to refer to a character even if we know it's Bobette the whole time. But there's a secret: we can and do from professional writers without even knowing it a lot of the time.

If the writing is good enough, we tend to not notice repetition of little words like "he", "as", and "the". They become white fuzz that fades out as the written word pulls us in and we start picturing the scene in our heads. Varying sentence structures, appropriate pacing, and breaks for dialogue all help with keeping up the immersion. Clunky uses of descriptions that don't have anything to do with what's going on have the opposite effect!

You don't have to be a pro, you just have to write with the confidence of a dudebro who thinks his pickup lines will work on a girl minding her own business in public. Readers will probably get it if you are clear enough in your scene direction. So less hair colours and "other persons" and more "he/she/they"!

I think that's it for this brain dump. If you read this, share your favourite Kagurabachi or Kingdom Hearts fanfic!

[chaosincurate]

My top 40 albums

Find out more about the albums and my thoughts on them below!

So I've been gone a little while, and part of that just comes from demotivation from a feeling that the work I'm putting in is going to waste, at least in the way I'm doing it, but most of it was the fact I was doing this. Turns out listening to about 50 albums and making a top 40 out of them isn't a quick done-in-a-month project. Whodathunk?

Sidebar: Anyway, I'll get into the write-ups in just a second, but I want to establish something first: this list is very subjective and one of the most obvious ways that shows itself is in regard to the ages of these albums. I grew up in the 00s and 10s and generally find it difficult to really connect with a lot of highly acclaimed and influential releases from before then. I never got into The Beatles all that much, I don't get the hype around Pet Sounds, and Nico & The Velvet Underground largely underwhelmed me. I don't doubt the artistry, I just feel like a lot of that music is very of a time that I have no real connection to, so it always ends up being a very analytical listen as opposed to one where I am just enjoying the album. Because of that, the albums on this list skew newer. A lot newer. I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not saying "old music bad" by excluding so many of them. It's a me thing. Anyway, onto the list!

40. Fall Out Boy - Folie a Deux

Genre: Emo Alternative-Rock Highlights: Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet, I Don't Care, What a Catch, Donnie

For me, this album comes across as a funeral for the emo scene of the 00s. Shortly after this, Fall Out Boy would go on hiatus and haven't been the same since in my humble opinion, Paramore would go on to absolutely kill it with a shiny new sound, Panic! At the Disco would become a one-man ego trip, and My Chemical Romance released what is to this day their last album. All that being said, this doesn't come across as somber. Yes, there is a little angst, there's an acknowledgement of the unfairness of it all, hell, there's even a few guests making things awkward with their self-destructive depression. But despite it all, you get the impression that there is something to celebrate here.

39. Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Genre: Indie Rock Highlights: 505, Fluorescent Adolescent

Any album that has 505 on it is gonna be a good one in my book. There's a reason it's a fan favourite. It perfectly balances the depiction of fawning anticipation with the need to keep things interesting enough that the listener can actually get to the payoff. It's immaculate, but that isn't all that the album has to offer.

Throughout the whole album, there's a little added complexity where the rawness of their debut once was, and sure, I prefer the debut, but it makes this a distinct enough experience that you aren't going to constantly feel like you'd rather listen to your preferred album, which I find is a trap that many young artists end up falling into. It still keeps a lot of what made the debut so exciting though, which is also a virtue, as much as I do love a lot of their later experimentation.

38. David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

Genre: Glam Rock Highlights: Moonage Daydream, Hang on to Yourself, Starman

There are a lot of reasons this is a must-listen for any prospective or established rock fan, and the quality isn't even the main one in my opinion. Yes, this album is fantastic - so fantastic in fact that I had a tough time picking just a few highlights - but it's an album that, whether it hits for you or not, will tell you so much about what you do and don't like in the broad umbrella genre that is rock music. That trait is a result of the sheer amount of early exploration and pioneering Bowie does on this record. It's all close enough that it feels like a uniform experience, but you've got early templates for the all-out anthemic rock sounds with the likes of Moonage Daydream, a more dynamic, yet still anthemic style with Starman, the rock ballad of Rock 'n' Roll Suicide, and the early punk stylings of Hang on to Yourself. It makes for a great beginners guide to rock music, or simply further vindication and understanding from more experienced listeners who may just have a blind spot with Bowie.

And all of that upside comes in a rock opera package with a loose but coherent story.

37. Sampha - Lahai

Genre: Alternative R&B Highlights: Suspended, Spirit 2.0, Only

If you put a gun to my head and told me I could only use one word to describe this album, that word would probably be 'thoughtful'. Fortunately though, there's no gun to my head, so I'll expand on that.

First, the lyricism consistently comes across as mature and enlightened in the most humble way possible. It's similar to the Kendrick album he featured on in that way: Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. It reads as someone taking your hand and calmly guiding you through difficulty in life, as opposed to a self-indulgent lecture, and it's very easy to get something wrong and have a well-intentioned message come across as the latter if you aren't very thoughtful about your approach.

Then there are the instrumentals, which I've described before as something akin to a living thing. There is so much relaxed intricacy to the sound that all weaves together so naturally that it sounds like a melodic breath of some beautiful fantasy creature that you can't fully understand. It's what makes writing about it so difficult: it's got to be all about the emotion it evokes, not how it's evoked, because understanding how it works is both difficult and feels like dissecting a magnificent creature.

36. Denzel Curry - Melt My Eyez, See Your Future

Genre: Conscious Hip Hop Highlights: Walkin', X-Wing

If you've ever tried to dive in at the deep end of a genre that you've not listened to much of before, you'll know how I felt listening to this for the first time when it came out a couple years ago. To be clear, this isn't the most hip that ever did hop or anything, but it's a pure enough form of the genre that I didn't really know how to really approach it outside of the very surface level interaction of listening to it and either liking the album or not liking the album. Even individual tracks didn't stand out to me that much because I simply didn't speak the metaphorical language of this genre, so my feelings were essentially all vibes based. I bring that up to say that revisiting it with a little more experience under my belt made me worried that I wouldn't like it as much this time. As you can tell, I had nothing to worry about.

Melt My Eyez, See Your Future is a fantastic album about continuing to mature while comfortably into adulthood, exploring trauma, and criticizing various elements of culture that made growth difficult. It's intelligent, thoughtful, and the touch of psychedelia in the sound of the album pairs incredibly well with the lyrics about self-realization.

35. IDLES - Joy as an Act of Resistance

Genre: Art Punk Highlights: Never Fight a Man with a Perm, Samaritans, Television

Joy as an Act of Resistance is exactly what the title suggests and a little more: a punk album about how, despite everything, joy is very powerful. There is a particularly refreshing angle to that though, as throughout the album there are moments where it becomes explicit that this is from the perspective of someone who has felt pressure to live up to patriarchally masculine ideals of stoicism, and some focus is given to how that is harmful to men beyond the simplistic buzzwords that get thrown around so we don't have to actually talk about it. It's rare and important that men are told, as men, that they can and should express all emotions, including joy, and the fact that it's purpose beyond the personal benefit is so clearly laid out is the cherry on top.

To be clear though, this isn't a pushover punk record, not by any means. The vibe of the album is well summed up in the line "this snowflake's an avalanche". A bold statement on how an emotionally enlightened community can become a powerful force for good, especially en masse.

34. Arctic Monkeys - Humbug

Genre: Indie Rock, Psychedelic Rock Highlights: Cornerstone, Crying Lightning, The Jeweller's Hands

The first sign of real experimentation from Arctic Monkeys was one that disappointed me personally on first listen, but eventually grew on me, with the leisurely pace that most of this album is moving at. It's a really laid-back listen for the most part, one that invites the total opposite experience to that which they were - and, arguably in the UK, still are - known for. Where they once kept it fairly light on the thoughtful aspects in favour of an adrenaline-pumping, raw rock sound, they were now placing intricacy, both in songwriting and lyricism, at the forefront.

As I alluded to, it took some getting used to, I was a fan of the fast-paced Arctic Monkeys of their debut and sophomore attempts first and foremost, but now that it's finally clicked, I can appreciate the boldness on both an analytical level, and an emotional one.

33. Paramore - This Is Why

Genre: Post-punk Highlights: Figure 8, Running Out Of Time, This Is Why

This is why I love Paramore. They have such a creative integrity about them that is on full display here. While their contemporaries have turned into desperate trend-chasers or cheap nostalgia acts, Paramore keep reinventing themselves with a sense of sincere curiosity and adventure, while also nailing every single sound they've attempted. This newest sound is a natural progression from their initial sound almost, taking the maturity of their albums post-punk-sound and combining it with elements of their pop-punk roots, adding some extra musical complexity, and coming out with a post-punk album that feels like such a natural fit that in retrospect it seemed inevitable.

But all of that is pretty conceptual. It tells you where it sits in Paramore's discography, and that of their 00's pop-punk contemporaries, but not how the album holds up on it's own. Naturally, with it being on a list like this, I'm going to say it holds up well, but this is a question of why, not if, and I think there are plenty of reasons. First I'll start with Hayley Williams' lyrics, which are, as they have been for a while, refreshingly emotionally mature. Then there's the willingness to try out some really unique guitar sounds and effects for a band this popular. They really push the instrument further than most things you expect to chart. I'm trying to keep this brief, so I'll aim my last compliment towards the vocals, particularly on Figure 8. There's such a visceral strain that makes it hit so hard.

32. Michael Jackson - Thriller

Genre: Dance Pop Highlights: Billie Jean, Thriller, Beat It

Is a write-up really necessary for this one? It's held in high regard as one of the best pop albums - if not the best - and it is a well-earned title. This album is stacked. There are the three highlights I've listed above, sure, but I feel like it'd be sacrilegious not to mention the likes of P.Y.T., Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', Baby Be Mine... Basically anything but The Girl Is Mine feels like it warrants a mention here. It's all Thriller, no filler. If you haven't listened to it, what are you even doing reading a music blog for music recommendations? Go listen to it. Learn simple addition before learning about the niche shit that'll never come up in your daily life. And when you've done that, you can thank me and we can talk about stuff that's a little more niche. Seriously though, how haven't you heard this yet? Don't they play it when you come out of the womb?

Anyway, yeah, good album, Billie Jean is a masterpiece (and has aged very well considering we now know that he was more likely to sleep with the child than the mother), but you probably knew that already.

31. Arcade Fire - Funeral

Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Rock Highlights: Neighborhood #1: Tunnels, Wake Up, Rebellion (Lies)

I don't think I've ever known an album to be so against the idea of you listening to songs from it individually. Don't get me wrong, I've heard better album experiences, more cohesive, better paced, more highly conceptual albums, but something about this album screams "don't you dare listen to a song off this thing. It's all or nothing". I really I can't even put my finger on why, exactly, but what I can tell you is that it makes a write-up significantly harder. Usually I can draw on my long history of casual listens to individual tracks to pick out highlights and to get a more intimate understanding of the sound of an album, but here, I've only got a handful of excellent experiences with the album that were, frankly, pretty spread out to go off.

What I can offer using that experience though, is that this album embodies a certain emotion really well, and that's the feeling of running away from home after the situation there has become untenable. It's not really something I'd call an explicit theme, but there are moments where it feels like a bittersweet nostalgia, like the feeling of someone describing a video game as a sanctuary from early familial turmoil. It's a focus on something warm in the blistering cold of a hard life.

30. King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King

Genre: Prog Rock, Art Rock Highlight: 21st Century Schizoid Man

45 minutes, 5 songs. That should give you some idea of how this album sounds. Each song is it's own sprawling, epic masterpiece. It spends minutes that would typically be spent on a song or two simply teasing you with playful mid-song solos that feel incomplete, only to then give you the full picture you got used to in the beginning in a satisfying explosion, bringing with it a new drive to propel the songs over the finishing line. There are of course variations on that formula to add the slight freshness required to keep these five tracks from getting stale, but regardless, you will need to approach this with patience, and if you can do that, it'll reward you for it tenfold.

29. Paramore - After Laughter

Genre: New Wave, Synthpop Highlights: Hard Times, 26, Idle Worship

I have a lot of love for After Laughter. It was one of the first albums I remember actively listening to on it's release, and was a superb example for me of a band radically changing their style in a way that feels sincere following a wave of albums that seemed like cashgrabs to a 16-year-old me. And I liked it plenty back then, sure, but it's grown on me massively in the years since then.

The way the whole album appears to be built around the concept of smiling through pain, putting on a happy act when you feel like your world is crumbling around you... It's awe-inspiring. I've mentioned it before, but the way you are pulled into that groove in the first 5 songs on the album, getting comfortable with the idea of happy pop songs with a darker underbelly, 26 comes in and absolutely blindsides you with a rare moment of lyrical-musical harmony as Hayley Williams sings about her regrets surrounding the pessimism she espoused and bought into, and how she feels trapped by it in the present. It's brutal. And then, while you're sitting with that, you're thrust right into the peppiest song on the album yet in Pool, which leaves you feeling the exact emotions the album is built around. I caught myself thinking "Wow, that's really fucked me up, but this is a really upbeat song, I'm not in the right headspace here, I gotta cheer up". I don't know if it's intentional, and the fact that the A-side ends on 26 when listening on vinyl leads me to believe it wasn't, but it's powerful all the same.

Other than that though, as much as I've seen opinions to the contrary, I believe this album is remarkably consistent. I even love the experimental spoken word track No Friend. It also happens to be an excellent showing of the band's versatility. It doesn't get much further from Riot than this, and it still just seems so effortless for them. Like a second nature. It's crazy. This is why Paramore are the sleeper GOATs of the 2000s pop punk movement.

28. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

Genre: Indie Rock Highlights: When the Sun Goes Down, I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor, The View From the Afternoon

The first effort from Arctic Monkeys being this good was a blessing and a curse all at once. It feels harsh to say they peaked with their first album, but in this case, I mean it as a positive. I still love the newer stuff from them, even their very divisive most recent album The Car, but the energy of this one can't be denied. It takes you by the wrist and charges forward at full pelt, prepared to drag you along if you can't keep up, and only really gives you a couple breathers.

It's because of that pace though, that one of my favourite aspects of the album often gets overlooked (even by myself initially), and that's the lyrics of the album. Now, sure, they aren't pure poetry or anything, and Alex Turner does go on to improve in that regard, but it all sticks to the theme of a young Brit's night out, and paints the picture fantastically, with all the awkwardness and charm that comes along with it.

27. Regina Spektor - Soviet Kitsch

Genre: Anti-Folk, Chamber Pop Highlights: Us, Chemo Limo, Ode to Divorce

I've written a lot about this album since starting this blog about 18 months ago, and I'm frankly running out of new things to say. If you want my in-depth write up about the album, I did one towards the end of last year, but to keep it simple, the highlight for me is the really cool and unique lyrical style in which Spektor phrases simple things in a strange enough way that you're forced to actually engage with the simple truths that often get abstracted by modern life. She doesn't say something you're likely to have heard before, like "people don't care about you as much as you do", she says "people are just people like you". The former is used in such a way that it's easy to ignore based on how people have used it before (after all, some people just are judgemental, which isn't always acknowledged). But when Spektor says "people are just people like you", it's prompting you to think about yourself acting in the way you expect others to, and how you wouldn't be so unkind. It makes it more powerful because you actually have to think about the type of person you'd have to be to judge someone so harshly, and how their opinion ultimately shouldn't matter to you.

26. black midi - Schlagenheim

Genre: Experimental Rock Highlights: bmbmbm, Of Schlagenheim, Ducter

When I say this album is incredibly overwhelming, understand I mean it in the best way possible. There is so much going on at any given moment, and so little time to wait for the next moment, that it took me several listens before I felt I could even truly grasp it. And usually when I say that it comes from a lack of experience with the genre, but while I hadn't heard anything quite like black midi, I have been a fan of rock and rock-adjacent music for most of my life. It's just so much album that it took a while for me to digest it all. And even now, every listen feels fresh because it's so difficult to memorize every aspect of it.

Another crazy thing about this album is how it doesn't even feel like your typical balance of intensity and intricacy, which is probably a massive reason for that overwhelm I mentioned. It's not less intricate in favour of intensity or vice versa, they just turn both of them up to 11 and expect you to get with it, and I have a lot of respect for that approach.

25. MF DOOM - MM.. FOOD

Genre: Hip-Hop Highlights: Deep Fried Frenz, Rapp Snitch Knishes, Kookies

If you want the delectable dessert of DOOM's discography, dare I say it doesn't get more delicious than the divine rhymes of MM.. FOOD. Maybe Madvillainy is more of a main course meal; the mandatory musical meat that you must make your way through first, but the flavourful fun follows shortly after for me. MM.. FOOD is a concept album, using food metaphors throughout, and that sounds like a really cheesy idea, but it's surprisingly satiating in practice, and is the ingredient that really elevates the album to point where, to me, it's a classic.

24. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Genre: Dream Pop, Indie Rock Highlights: The Body Is a Blade, Boyish, Road Head

What's not to love about Japanese Breakfast? The instrumentals never failing to perfectly replicate even the most specific of moods, the evocative and often wise lyricism, the soothing vocals... This album in particular is often verging on meditative, with even most of the upbeat songs having a comforting quality to them that makes them work as a late night lullaby. Even the one song that I'd consider a poor choice for a sleep playlist, 12 Steps, feels like a rock song in a fluffy jumper. It's got all the elements you'd expect from something abrasive, but performed in a way that makes it sound sweet and cozy instead.

As for the wise lyrics I mentioned, it doesn't get much better than The Body Is a Blade in Japanese Breakfast's discography. It's about the idea of perseverance, basically, but in a way that feels very passive, like all the effort the protagonist can muster is put into keeping it together and the rest of their life is on autopilot. It's excellent and well worth a listen. It also stands on it's own if you don't feel like listening to the whole album.

Try not to get so righteous

About what's fair for everyone

Find what's left in you

Channel something good

23. Björk - Homogenic

Genre: Electronic, Art Pop Highlights: Bachelorette, Hunter

On Homogenic, Björk creates a balanced, maximalist electronic soundscape that lends itself to repeated sessions of critical listening, which serves as a backdrop for her passionate, emotion-filled vocal performances. It's an immersive style that really needs to be felt and not described for it to really be understood, but suffice it to say that if you're a fan of music that rewards focused listening, and are not averse to electronic sounds, you'll find something to love here.

22. Jeff Buckley - Grace

Genre: Singer-Songwriter, Alternative Rock Highlights: Hallelujah, Lover You Should Have Come Over

The one and only record from one of music's most overlooked great artists, Jeff Buckley, is a beautiful and thoughtful album. An expression of pain from a tender soul, communicated by way of one of the most beautiful voices to grace a rock-adjacent sound atop instrumentals that at once accept flaws as part of the process and demand perfection to the greatest extent possible without losing the human touch.

21. Alvvays - Alvvays

Genre: Indie Pop Highlights: Atop a Cake, Red Planet, Next of Kin

The first and (in my opinion) worst of Alvvays' albums still gives me enough hits of dopamine from their euphoria-laced sound to make it near the halfway point of this list. The only thing that is really lacking in this album for me, which they will go on to address in future listens, is the rough edges in their production (nothing quite seems to pop like it does later on) and the monotony. Luckily though, the one tone they did run with was one that I absolutely love, making listens great fun regardless.

For more of my thoughts on this album (and the other Alvvays albums we'll get to), check out my Alvvays discography post I made last year! It was an early one of mine, so it might need some revision at some point, but most of what I say in there should still stand.

20. Black Country, New Road - For the First Time

Genre: Experimental Post-Punk Highlights: Sunglasses

As someone who enjoys long songs but short albums, this is almost my dream. 6 songs over a 40 minute runtime. It's not quite around the 35 minute runtime that tends to make me love an album, but it's damn close, and those extra five minutes or so are hardly felt anyways with patient behemoths of songs being held down with an awkward post-punk groove you will have come to expect if you're familiar with the 2020s wave of British post-punk.

I've spoken a lot about how debuts can often sound a little unrefined in their sound, and usually that takes on a slightly negative but totally acceptable connotation, but here they lean in fully and it makes that rawness one of the best elements of the sound. From the album's title, to the theme of immaturity and childhood popping up on occasion throughout the album, to even the jazzy sound that sounds somewhat improvised, they don't shy away from how far they have to go, and that makes for a far more enjoyable experience.

19. Radiohead - OK Computer

Genre: Alternative Rock Highlights: Paranoid Android, Karma Police, Let Down

This is the second time I've had real trouble picking highlights for the album, because practically everything here is pure alternative rock gold. Paranoid Android and Karma Police were mandatory, sure, but beyond that it is almost literally the whole album (minus Fitter Happier for reasons obvious to the masses of people who've heard this album) begging for a spot there. Ultimately, I chose Let Down, with the deciding factor simply being that the lines "One day I am gonna grow wings // A chemical reaction // Hysterical and useless". There's a deeply mangled sense of hope within those lines, as if the sentiment is fighting itself. The crushing realism fighting with the spark of optimism, providing a counterpoint within a hopeful metaphor. One day, you may grow wings, but it's nothing more than a side effect of radiation, and they will be a useless deformation, not and escape.

I'm sure that I don't need to go over how great this album is. If you're a music fan on the internet, you already know that, or have at least heard something to that effect from another hyper-passionate fan, but if this has been a blindspot for you so far, I will be the 548th person to tell you: you need to listen to this album

18. Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Dance, Dance, Sugar, We're Going Down, XO

This is quintessential emo pop punk. It's got the perfect blend of edge and catchiness that made that wave of music so compelling and divisive. As much as Fall Out Boy did essentially make the blueprint for that sound though, there is a uniqueness to them. The heavy emphasis on bass, constant musical shifts, and most of all Patrick Stump's soul-tinged vocals, all contribute to something that feels like more than a bland example of the genre.

On top of that, there is a perfect witty spite to the lyrics that are very rarely replicated by other bands, as much as they may have tried. When others would try, it often came across as bland woman-bashing which gave the movement as a whole a bad name as an especially misogynistic subculture. Now, I wouldn't dare take the stance that there was no misogyny to speak of, but if you take a look at the Mount Rushmore of the movement (My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Panic! At the Disco, and - most relevant to the topic at hand - Fall Out Boy), whenever there was woman-bashing, I for one always got the impression that it was about a single woman as opposed to women as a whole (with a couple notable exceptions from Panic! At the Disco with Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off, and Paramore, with Misery Business).

My general point about this album is that it is very good at toeing all the lines it needs to. It goes far enough to make you feel something, but not far enough that you forget that it's not that deep, all the while being targeted well enough that it doesn't feel like it's perpetuating misogyny despite often being about criticism of women.

17. Alvvays - Antisocialites

Genre: Indie Pop Highlights: Saved By a Waif, Plimsoll Punks, Hey

I listed two flaws in Alvvays' first outing earlier in this list: the monotony and the general vibe of being rough around the edges, which didn't work for their sound. Well I'm happy to report that neither of those things are an issue here. I still wouldn't exactly describe this album as diverse (although it's definitely plenty for a runtime of just over half an hour), but the euphoria factory sound is so refined in this one. It feels like my brain is having a summer water fight where it substituted water with dopamine and also it's raining dopamine. And it gets better. Boy do I love music.

As I mentioned in the write-up of their self-titled album, I made a post about Alvvays' discography if you want some more in depth thoughts about this album and their other two. I'll only plug it one more time, I promise.

16. My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Ghost of You, Thank You for the Venom, I Never Told You What I Do for a Living

I could honestly just fill this write-up by getting the red string and push pins out and trying to string together the story of the album, deciphering what exactly is and isn't related to it, how the ones that are related progress the story, etc. but I don't feel especially qualified for that. I go through binges and fasts of My Chemical Romance, and do more fasting of this album than binging, so I don't have as much of a grasp on that as I'd like. That being said, the TL;DR is that the protagonist's wife dies, and he makes a deal with the devil to see her again after claiming the souls of 1000 evil people.

The music, for the most part, matches that grandiose, dark, theatrical concept perfectly, and manages to be a cathartic listen throughout, really giving as much intensity as possible to get you to that transcendent spot whilst not turning into sound sludge and (for most people) ruining the whole thing.

15. JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES

Genre: Experimental Hip-Hop Highlights: Burfict!, God Loves You, Kingdom Hearts Key

Combining Peggy's maximalist production with Danny Brown's batshit... Well his batshit everything, it's verging on perfection. It might not have been my favourite album of the year, but it has almost certainly been my most replayed. The album has a really infectious energy, is short enough that you can get a quick front-to-back listen in with time to spare for the sequel EP, and has some really funny bars as a cherry on top too, most of which are on one of the highlights I chose: God Loves You. That song is bar after bar of dirty bible double entendres and puns, and to this day some of the lines crack me up.

You can just hear the fun these guys are having making this album in every single verse, and it really helps sell the whole over-the-top vibe. It's an album made with the thought of "what happens if two technically excellent rap artists come together to shitpost?" and the answer is a hip-hop masterpiece.

14. Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly

Genre: Jazz Rap Highlights: King Kunta, Wesley's Theory, i

At this point I'd like to remind anyone reading this that it's my personal opinion and I'm not claiming any objectivity in it. And I'd also like to remind people I put this at least 86 spots higher than Apple Music did.

Onto the actual album though, it is, of course, incredible. It's the album that properly opened up the genre of hip-hop to me. Before I heard this I picked out the very occasional album, but had issues with it resonating with me. I still had issues afterwards, but they were the sort of thing that goes away with pure exposure.

So this album was huge for my musical exploration, but what makes it so good? Well, there are plenty of reasons and plenty of people talking about those reasons. It's an insightful description of how institutional racism effects the way black Americans respond to success and Kendrick gets very introspective to achieve that end, it's got an infectious jazzy style, the poem building throughout the album is a very useful thread in making it more cohesive and is exceptionally executed with every song feeling very relevant to the new lines that precede it... It's an exceptional album, and well worth a listen regardless of who you are.

13. Model/Actriz - Dogsbody

Genre: Dance-punk, Industrial Rock Highlights: Donkey Show, Mosquito, Crossing Guard

This feels a little dirty. Putting Dogsbody ahead of TPAB, not Dogsbody itself. Dogsbody feels downright filthy. I've spoken a lot about this album, and I always describe it as some variation on the explanation that it sounds like gay men doing BDSM. It's rough, a little scary in a thrilling sort of way, it's sexy, and it's fun. It even has the aftercare at the end. And also it's gay... Obviously...

It comes right out the gate at a million miles an hour too, with the first four songs being an amazing summary of the album's sound. If the first half of this album were an EP, it may well be my favourite EP of all time, but fortunately it doesn't end so soon, because while the rest of the album doesn't quite reach that same height for the remainder of it's runtime for me, there are still highlights to come, and a loose narrative that gets a beautiful resolution on Sun In. That narrative is one of an unrequited love within a very physical relationship. A one-sided emotional investment, which, of course, becomes toxic. The narrator relies on the sexual side of the relationship like a crutch, not quite giving them everything they need, but giving them enough that they don't mind the emptiness. The concept is executed via very heady and strange symbolism, but that is what I've managed to glean from it. I'll leave the rest of the analysis to you.

12. Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Genre: sad girl indie Highlights: Chinese Satellite, Kyoto

If I'm being entirely honest, my favourite song from the album isn't in the highlights section. If you've heard the album, you already know what it is. I feel like recommending it outside of the context of the album, though, is placing it in a context in which it has one arm tied behind it's back. It should be little surprise that I'm talking about the closer here, it gives me chills every time it comes on now because it was such a glorious and powerful payoff to such a slow and serene album. The album didn't need a banger, but the contrast is what takes it from good to one of my favourite albums ever (my number 1 favourite at one point)

When listening to the album, it's clear why it inspired so many copycats. It's a sound that resonates with a dejected youth that often turns to sarcasm and humour when things feel especially hopeless. This is what extreme sadness sounds like to younger generations now: a sort of "yeah, that makes sense" mentality that comes with being constantly bombarded with negativity. It's not like you can be surprised things aren't going your way when very little in the world has ever seemed to. There's not much point in making a scene when everyone who can help you is convinced you're the fool in the play. And that also happens to resonate especially well with young women, who are constantly told to deny reality or accept their awful conditions. Of course, all marginalized groups get that to some extent, but it's usually in the form of denying that there is no systemic problem, or that in any individual instance it isn't informed by bigotry. In my experience, the denial that a negative thing even happened to someone is exceptionally rampant within misogyny specifically.

With all of that out of the way, though, I think that is much of the reason nothing hits quite like Punisher for me though. The resonant aesthetics are great, sure, but so often people copy the aesthetics they like without also integrating the meaning. On the surface, Phoebe Bridgers sings in a pretty rambly, conversational way, but if you pay attention, the actual thoughts beneath the aesthetics are impressively profound. The quick, funny, personable lines stick out on an aesthetic level, but fundamentally only serve as a seasoning. Whenever most other artists try the sad girl indie vibe, it comes off as hollow because they give all the seasoning and none of the actual food. Punisher, on the other hand, is a hearty, flavourful meal with everything you could ask for from this style of music and should not be overlooked.

11. Japanese Breakfast - Jubilee

Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Pop Highlights: Paprika, Be Sweet, Savage Good Boy

I've already made a whole post about Jubilee (mostly Paprika though, to be honest), so I'll keep this relatively brief, but this album holds such a special place in my heart. It's clearly not in my top 10, but if you told me I could only listen to 5 albums ever again, this would be one of them. It's very strange to describe what makes this special though. I know it is something to do with it's relationship to joy, but it's not like it's a happy album. There are happy songs, for sure (Paprika, my beloved), but it's about 50/50 when it comes to happiness and sadness. I mean, all the happiness Paprika musters is entirely undone by the emotional wrecking ball that is In Hell, for starters.

I think what the relationship to joy is is a sort of impression you get listening to the album that there is happiness in even the most awful situations. Sometimes it may be deeply buried, but it feels as though this album urges you to keep digging in a very implicit way. It's not explicitly about you persevering, it's about Michelle Zauner persevering and the rewards she got for it. It doesn't push expectations on you, it doesn't assume to know what you're going through, what you're capable of, or what is best for you, it sort of sneakily lets you know "hey, it's an option to keep pushing through and staying positive. This is how it benefited me." And I think that is, in most cases, more powerful than a simple "keep going".

I lied about keeping it brief, but believe me, I tried to.

10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

Genre: Jangle Pop Highlights: There Is a Light That Never Goes Out, The Queen Is Dead, Bigmouth Strikes Again

Everything about this album screams indie pop masterpiece, from the driving drums on the opener and title track, to the back to back dour songs I Know It's Over and Never Had No One Ever, to some of the jangliest songs The Smiths have ever put out like The Boy With the Thorn In His Side, everything feels so classic and so influential. Even some of the bonus tracks on the deluxe edition are downright iconic. Asleep, Rubber Ring, Unloveable... All great. It feels almost as though they were destined to make a must-listen indie pop album and the gods bestowed them with some sort of artistic steroids to make that destiny manifest.

Chances are you've heard of The Smiths, and seeing as this album is just them at their best, it's hard to talk about it without getting too in-depth or too cursory, so I'll describe what makes The Smiths special for anyone who may have a blind spot there. Most of what they do is simply about excelling in the fundamentals of musicianship, with Morrissey being a spectacular lyricist, Johnny Marr being the best indie guitarist of all time, and bassist Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce on drums holding everything down well in the rhythm section to allow the other two legendary musicians to shine their brightest. That all makes for a great band, of course, but if it were just a bunch of really skilled musicians doing nothing special I don't think the band would have such status and staying power. The true value I see in The Smiths comes from the outsider vibe they portray, particularly within Morrissey's lyrics and vocal stylings. It is such a distinctive style that rarely gets mimicked very well, which has allowed them to remain unique, still retaining that outsider air about them while being popular enough to carry a torch for those outsiders on a wide scale without losing that exact power. That's what The Smiths are all about, and this album is the greatest example of that in their discography.

9. Everything Everything - Get To Heaven

Genre: Progressive Pop Highlights: To The Blade, Distant Past

I have a very strange relationship to this album. It's a relationship I do share with other albums, but not nearly to this extent. That relationship is defined by a retrospective lack of enthusiasm (although no lack of appreciation), but punctuated with an in-the-moment revelation every single time I listen to the album of just how much I loved it all along. No more intensely experienced was that exact dynamic than when I noticed that, by my album ratings, this album ended up on the shortlist for this very top 40. I wasn't antagonistic at all towards the prospect, just a little taken aback and half-expecting it to fall out of the top 40 pretty quickly. But as is always the case, I was swiftly corrected.

The album touches on all sorts of political and cultural strife in very abstract ways, but taken as a whole it is very much about the radicalization of a character into a terrorist organization. The narrative doesn't stick too close to that concept following the climax, but still remains tangentially and emotionally connected to political extremism and fear.

That narrative doesn't just stop at the lyrics being about political extremism and radicalization, the synthetic soundscape recalls the digital world where most of that radicalization takes place, and the occasionally confusing and cryptic execution of said lyrics mirrors the feelings of a young person getting whipped up into the chaotic, often nonsensical and contradictory frenzies of the right wing. It is very thorough in it's depiction of the process by which these people often come to do terrible things which makes for an incredible listen and I hope I've learned my lesson about forgetting that.

8. underscores - Wallsocket

Genre: Indietronica, Electropop, Indie Rock Highlights: Cops and robbers

I think now is a good time to quickly go over the two ways I've noticed I can adore an album: one of those ways is by an album seeming as though it couldn't have possibly been created by a person, even a group of people. As if it must have been passed down to the musician who claims ownership over it by some divine power. The other way is a clearly imperfect album where the imperfections somehow just make it even more lovable, because it could have only been made by a human. You'll see that dynamic throughout the list, but especially in the top 5.

This album is not close to perfect. It's a little erratic. underscores tries too much to maintain too much cohesion. Some of the lyrics are a little awkward. But somehow, none of that matters, it just adds to the album in a weird way, gives it a certain charm. That being said though, there is plenty to both love and appreciate too, such as the very online production which provides the vast majority of what little cohesion there is throughout the record, and the very diverse and strange subject matters that get touched on here. There's such a unique personality to the album that you can't help but recognize the humanity in it, and I think that's what makes my connection to this album so strong.

7. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade

Genre: Emo Pop-Punk Highlights: Welcome to the Black Parade, I Don't Love You, Disenchanted

The Black Parade is undeniably the quintessential album of the movement and possibly even has a claim to the quintessential album of the era. I don't think there was a rock fan of the time that didn't know about My Chemical Romance, and I don't think there's a single person who was alive in it's hay day whose emotional dam could withstand the power of that G note. And that's the thing with My Chemical Romance (on this album especially): they are just so emotionally resonant. Whether that emotion is toxic anger and hatred, or whether it's joy, sadness, or the overwhelming nostalgia, you can't help but feel something in response to a Black Parade song.

As you are probably well aware at this point, the album isn't for everybody. It is very much a rock album and is very much sincere, and tends to actively go against the genre's typical clichés in some way. Gerard Way doesn't seem badass, and you probably won't feel badass listening to this album. It isn't really into glorifying moral and emotional shortcomings or even really accepting them. It is actively introspective, from the perspective of an awful man (one which seems to represent the typical macho and troubled-in-a-cool-way character that uninspired rock lyricists portray) facing death and losing hope at a shot of redemption, but who eventually, in my reading, attempts to face death with the grace and sincere love that was lacking in his life.

Many people write off this movement as hollow self-loathing (I even saw someone confidently compare Machine Gun Kelly's lyrics to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy which was baffling to say the least), but you really do get what you give when it comes to the movement's big three (My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Paramore. Let's be real, Panic! have like two albums and no one can even agree which two)

6. David Bowie - ★

Genre: Experimental Rock Highlights: ★, Lazarus

You can't talk about this album without talking about the unfortunate death of one of music's greatest legends. I don't know how the death of the man David Jones was handled. I'm sure it was with great love, care, and no spared expense. But I do know that the superstar David Bowie went out on his own terms. Even when the album isn't explicitly about mortality, you feel the ghost of the man. It reads as though he's looking back on his life and his regrets, coming to terms with the fact that there will forever be unfinished business in his life.

It is enviable in a sense though. All of us have to die (for now), and that's always going to be painful to those around us, and ourselves in our approach. But not many of us get to make our own headstones. And that is exactly how I'd describe ★. A beautiful headstone over the grave of one of music's most influential figures. So if you can stand the morbidity of it, come and appreciate the craftsmanship, the ode to one's own life, and pay your respects. It really is an experience that I believe transcends personal tastes, even if the music itself doesn't appeal to you enough to revisit, the album as a unified project, I believe, is a universally affecting experience.

5. Kendrick Lamar - good kid, m.A.A.d city

Genre: West Coast Hip-Hop Highlights: good kid, m.A.A.d city, Sing About Me, I'm Dying of Thirst

There's one particular reason I love this album so much. Song for song it's very good, but maybe not top 5 for me. Thematically it's great, but far from something that'd resonate with me this much. The thing about this album that makes me love it this much is that it is an absolute masterclass in sequencing. Even with what I'd consider a noticeably flawed tracklist with a few songs that don't quite hit for me, there is no point where I was listening to this album and didn't feel very engaged.

The sequencing here appears to bend time, making you feel at the halfway point as if you've barely gotten started but somehow still been given almost an album's worth of thoughts already. And that might lead you to believe that it's overwhelming, but that is somehow not the case either. You'll need a few listens to properly take everything in, but it feels as though you're allowed to engage and disengage at will with the lyrics and concepts.

Essentially, my thoughts come down to the idea that as a collection of songs it's slightly lacking by the standards of a top 5 album and by the standards set by Kendrick himself, but it is redeemed and then some by the fact that it captures the essence of an album perfectly. If you don't typically listen to albums and don't understand what separates them from any old collection of songs, this album is the one I'll point to as an example of the exceptionality of the format. The flow of the album, the stories, the immersion... None of that can be matched.

4. black midi - Hellfire

Genre: Avant Prog Highlights: Sugar/Tzu, Welcome To Hell, The Race Is About To Begin

If you're looking for an intense, overwhelming-yet-satisfying listen, look no further than black midi, and Hellfire in particular. I've talked a lot about this album in the past, and I always go back to the first time I heard it and the same description: it felt like I was shot up to heaven to see the face of god and shot back down to earth. It went beyond your typical transcendent experience and into the territory where you start to feel you'll never be the same again.

Unfortunately, that faded with repeat listens as I've come to know these songs inside and out, but it remains an invigorating and awe-striking experience. The initial reaction can be put down to the breakneck speed of the music, with every instrument seemingly existing just to keep you struggling to keep up and wrap your head around their parts. The repeated experience, however, comes down to things like the lyrics and themes of the album. It gives listeners so much to dig into, and when you consider the lower-than-average runtime, it becomes truly impressive how densely packed this album is.

As the title would suggest, the album depicts all manner of evil, from fearmongering on the opener, to war on Welcome To Hell, to complex exploitation on Eat Men Eat, there is so much to explore within a cohesive package.

And somehow it was my third favourite album from that year

3. Black Country, New Road - Ants From Up There

Genre: Art Rock, Chamber Pop Highlights: Good Will Hunting, The Place Where He Inserted The Blade

The second album of the 2022 ten trifecta has a weirdly similar vibe to the first (that being the previous album, Hellfire), but if I were to describe the differences, the albums would be total opposites. Other than the fact it's hard to conceive of the process by which they were made, Hellfire goes at blazing speeds while AFUT pulls back, Hellfire channels chaos where AFUT goes for a more considered style, Hellfire makes it's points quickly and moves on but AFUT takes it's time to build it's narratives. And yet, I've scarcely seen a fan of one that isn't a fan of the other. It's a strange connection these two albums share, which makes it fitting that they are right beside eachother on this list.

Onto Ants From Up There specifically though, the album is defined by a simmering patience and desperation. Thematically depicting a relationship strained by distance, physical and emotional, but in which one side is dependent on the other. Of course, this relationship is bound to fall apart, and the album spirals into a hopeless angst fueled by regret and shame.

As you can tell, it's not a happy listen, but if you can make it through the gargantuan 12 minute closer Basketball Shoes without the album leaving an impact on you, I'm not exactly sure how. After all we go through with the protagonist, when Isaac Wood belts the words "All I've been forms the drone we sing the rest // Your generous loan to me // Your crippling interest" hit like a truck going 100 miles per hour.

In general, the lyrics throughout this album depict overdependence in a very thoughtful and heartbreaking way. It feels as though it is acknowledged that the relationship can't go on for the sake of the immature party, but regardless, the pain felt by that person is very real, and you feel all of that here. The understanding and the frustration.

2. Alvvays - Blue Rev

Genre: Indie Pop, Dream Pop, Jangle Pop Highlights: After The Earthquake, Pressed, Tile By Tile

Picking highlights for this album was a bitch.

Completing two trifectas on this list at once, we have the final Alvvays album, and the final of my three albums from 2022 I consider 10s. I mentioned earlier the two ways an album can end up meaning this much to me (although you'd be forgiven for not reading that, this is a long list with a lot of writing): first, you have the perfect, flawless albums that feel handed down by the gods. Then there's albums like Blue Rev.

The album isn't flawless. The mastering isn't too great, for example, and Many Mirrors is pretty far from the standard I find the album is usually operating at (an 8 amongst 9s and 10s, nothing major, but a noticeable outlier). But somehow, all the flaws I find make me love it even more. It's as if the album has more personality the more flaws I recognize, and I think that's all about the euphoria that Alvvays are so capable of creating. When the music makes you feel this good, there is no flaw that can bring it down. There is always that simple, invincible rebuttal of "and yet...".

For the final plug, I'll once again bring attention to my Alvvays retrospective for anyone who wants more in-depth thoughts on this incredible love letter to indie pop and all it's subgenres.

1. Radiohead - In Rainbows

Genre: Art Rock, Alternative Rock Highlights: Weird Fishes / Arpeggi, Jigsaw Falling Into Place, Videotape

I would be downright baffled if anyone needed me to tell them that this album is phenomenal. It's seen by many a music community as one of the greatest albums of all time. I couldn't possibly go over all the reasons it's beloved by so many, but here are a few of my reasons for loving it enough to consider it my favourite album.

The first thing I feel I should touch on here is the warmth of this album. It feels like being wrapped inside a warm cocoon, with the sounds of every change in your morphing body reverberating off the walls, with the sounds themselves being a mangled reflection of what was once beautiful and natural.

That metaphor (or simile, I guess?) came to me while writing it, but it's honestly very fitting, and not just in the abstract representation of all the sounds and feelings that this album represents to me. It's also fitting in that the album seems to have a running theme of impermanence. The opener, 15 Step, is about the panic of realizing that you yourself are temporary; that your very self will one day cease to exist. Bodysnatchers represents someone whose self-hood is unfixed and ephemeral. Nude doesn't fit the theme unless you consider an opposition to change as a subversion of it, but then Weird Fishes / Arpeggi acts as a counterpoint in ways to that apathetic stubbornness ("Why should I stay here? Why should I stay?"). I could go on, but I don't want to linger on this point, picking out every example. That being said though, that theme ties everything together in a very subtle way. Subtle enough that I only picked up on it this past listen, and I've been listening to this album front-to-back, intently, several times a year for about 5 years now, but I think I always picked up on the similar thematic vibe subconsciously.

One final note to end on...

I recognize that this post is a very long one, but I wanted my proper comeback to be something big. In the future though, I'll be looking to split things up a bit more, starting with a The Cure retrospective that I've already begun working on. I'll also start an alternate blog for more laid-back thoughts about music, starting with my thoughts on these types of lists in general, which is a topic I've been thinking about since Apple Music astounded people with it's bad takes on it's own top 100 while I was in the process of making this post. Once I post that, I'll edit this post with a link. (Here's the link) Thanks for your time and I hope this helps you find an album that you like, or prompts you to revisit an old favourite!

[dwimmerlaiks]

I started watching the new severance season today!! ahhh!! maybe I will soon be able to remove severance from my filtered tags hehe. but not today. actually I don't know, I was a bit hmmmmmm about the first episode. but second season openers don't have an easy job to do. and from the sheer number of times I see filtered posts about severance here, I figure it must be at least an exciting season.. or.. intense?? I'm excited for it anyway. I watched the first season hmm, december 2023 or something, and .. oh wow I'm trying to put sentences together here but I'm realizing I might be shit at talking about tv shows online, which would be guiness levels of ironic considering I got started on the internet talking about.. tv shows online. anyway. watched severance, was very excited, felt like a show that offered something I hadn't experienced in a few years by then. not to be like, mehmehmeh there aren't any good shows around anymore. because really I don't think so (although the good ones certainly have a fight to the death to be able to last more than one season), HOWEVER, I have seen many shows in my life, being at an age where you would have been able to watch many shows (which I did). And I realized I've become comfortable with just rewatching the things I already know I love - not because I think there's nothing new and great out there, but because it's exhausting to get invested and then it doesn't last, the spark just isn't there, I don't have time/energy to try out as much new media as I did in other times of my life.. etc. you know what I mean.

HOWEVER. Many people here love severance as well, I already know this. But you know what other show really........ it did something to me 😭😭😭 made me feel things about tv shows I thought I wasn't able to feel about tvshows anymore 😭😭😭 and honestly while I watched it and episodes dropped I was waiting all week for the next ep, had the type of watercooler talk about it with other people who were also watching (like, uh, 2 that I knew lol) .. etc. but that I didn't see one single post on this website right here?? I still don't get it. I'm usually not very excentric with my show and blorbo tastes at least in a tumblr context. but SILO??? god I love that show. I haven't been that excited about a show since halt and catch fire. I love it soooo much. idk it hits the spot exactly. great ensemble cast, great mysteries but not the type where you end up super frustrated because they're doing the game of thrones thing where they try to just, up the shock value until it's a bland clown fest - but I am truly... on the edge of my seat every episode. Was having so much fun trying to solve everything, to see where they're going. and I feel like you actually can, because, as said, it's not a random shock value fest. and the losses feel truly dreadful sometimes because they characters are well fleshed out and you had time to get to know them. There's an interesting overreaching plot but also stuff that hmmmm .. it's not monster of the week but I know if it aired 20 years earlier it could have been. but I'm glad it's airing now and they're doing it this way. also genuinely so many interesting characters.

so that's my little tv ramble. for the record, I think all streaming services are awful, annoying piles of garbage and I hate using them HOWEVER funny that apple tv has 2 (two) shows that I love so much and think are truly great quality. surprised me a bit, is all.