#Also the idea of a super old elf living on the moon is super cool

[aureentuluva70]

So you're telling me that Tolkien was going to write a story about Erinti aka Ilmarë-who we know practically zilch about despite being among the greatest of the maiar-and her likely romance with the Man in the Moon and then he just...didn't write it???

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 3

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be Lujanne, Callum, Rayla, Ezran, Bait, and Soren goodness!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

Lujanne having excellent fitness for all her walking around the Moon Nexus, and she's so energetic that Callum has trouble keeping up with her! She seems like those active grandmas who almost never stop moving, who have a lifelong supply of endless stamina. It makes me wonder if Lujanne will need that level of fitness for some upcoming conflict.

Callum feeling really hungry over not eating grubs and then still deciding he'd rather be hungry. It makes me wonder all over again how Lujanne got to the point where she eats grubs, considering that other Moonshadow elves we know of back in the Silvergrove don't. I still love my hc that the giant leech ate all of Lujanne's moonberry bushes and she's taking her revenge. Whatever's going on there, Callum is definitely not at that point yet.

When Lujanne asks Callum how he knows she's real, he thinks to himself that he'd put up with just about anything from someone who was going to teach him magic. That's a great parallel and foreshadowing for Viren's student/master relationship with Aaravos! And it's telling that neither student gets exactly what they hoped to get. Lujanne doesn't actively teach Callum any spells, because she believes he can't learn Moon magic at all. Aaravos does offer Viren power, but it takes him to some very dark places - literally and figuratively - and the cost is terribly high.

Callum sees a moon shape among the ruins, and Lujanne explains that the Moonhenge layout is an intricate rune that uses the structures themselves as part of its symbols and power. That's apparently a thing even with ordinary Moonshadow villages like Hollow Wood in the east, which is the coolest idea I've seen in a while: city planning as magic runes!

Yes, that's the same shape as the pendants Ethari made for himself and Runaan. Protection? Home? Feelsiness? A sense of safety and belongnig for all cycles and seasons?

Wonder what this Moonhenge rune stands for, then, and how much of this landscape is included in that rune. I bet it's more than we think!

But it makes sense now, how toppling the stone pillars would disable the spell the druids would cast to connect with the Moon Nexus lake. Breaking the infrastructure of the Moonhenge breaks the rune.

There's a physical sensation involved with the visuals that Historia Viventem brings up! When that one ghostly druid walked through Callum, he felt icy cold. Like in ghost stories. I really wonder about what exactly Historia Viventem is doing when it activates. It shows truth, "what really happened here?", so it must have some kind of time-related element, maybe tied to how the moon always repeats the same cycles or something. But it also seems to draw on the spirits of any living people involved in the flashback, because Callum could physically feel that wispy shape passing through him. So very interesting!

Orrr... is that all wrong, and there's something else at work with this spell than time? Maybe the world beyond life and death can act as an imprint of the things that have happened in the living world, and the spell that Lujanne (and later Callum) casts taps into that place, with perfect recall. I'm looking really hard at the sentence that says "dozens of translucent elf ghosts" and "phantom Moonhenge" and "lost in their own world" here.

Lujanne says more here than in the show about the world beyond life and death, being her mysterious Moonshadow-mage self. She says that "beyond" and "between" might both apply to where this other plane of existence is, and she doesn't much care which. With all the relativity swirling around this place, and not much in the way of empiricism, it's sounding like perhaps multiple conflicting ideas might actually coexist in such a place, allowing more ideas to fit there than we might normally believe is possible. Which is a fascinating bit of worldbuilding. Basically, every headcanon anyone has ever had about the Moon Nexus could all be true at the same time, for all we know.

Oh oh oh, Callum coming in soft with a secret wish! He takes one look at the Moonhenge and immediately thinks of finding a way to see his mom again! Poor boy, my heart! I'd say that could be another interesting parallel with Viren, but then, who wouldn't hold that sentiment?

Oh my, is this another breath of life into Ye Olde Ley Lines headcanon? Lujanne mentioning the Nexuses again, so soon after talking about the runic design of the entire Moonhenge, makes me wonder if the six nexuses are in fact giant runes. On Earth, the places where ley lines cross are called nexuses, and there are those who believe those points got marked with ancient structures, like Stonehenge and many many others. If Xadia were crossed with magical lines which naturally formed nexus points where they met, and if powerful magical runes were built across those entire areas, well. That would be cool beans, fams. Can I smack a map of Xadia and release a spell like Luz Noceda does? Because ngl that is my first instinct here.

Lujanne has got to be missing some grandkids to spoil, right? The way she's always whipping out cake and ice cream for Callum, and she's so grandma-ish about it. Headcanon about her being Runaan's mom aside, she is canonically lonely and she's very sweet to Allen and Ellis and I think she's missing whatever family she once had in the past. She may never get to have that family back, so she's finding a new one among the humans who live nearby, and I think that's sweet. Found family isn't just for the young.

But Ellis is straight up gonna be her fave, I bet, because she didn't turn up her nose at Lujanne's illusion food!

Ezran and Bait have a lot more to their relationship than was visible in the show, and I'm so excited by it! Ez can tell by looking at Bait's colors that he's not truly jealous of Zym, even if he's really grumpy about the dragonling taking up his favorite human's time.

And Ez thinking a lot about his dad and the things he's taught him. They're soft leadership material, and I love that so much! "Pick your battles" and the importance of encouragement. Ahh, my heart. Ezran, you're going to be such a good king.

But wait a second: both times that Bait gets extra grumpy in Zym's first training session, Ezran has just mentioned something about flying. Guys, I think Bait wishes he could fly, really badly. And that's his biggest problem with Zym, and with Ezran teaching Zym to fly, instead of Bait who doesn't have wings so. Bait is so old that his secrets have secrets, and I'm really curious how flying fits into them now!

Rayla, Dramatic Assassin: "I need to patrol for dark forces." That's what Lujanne called the source of the purple wisps that found them. I wonder if that's an official term all Moonshadows know, or if Rayla is just taking her cue from a veteran Moon mage. And I wonder how far Rayla is falling into the apparent pattern of "one mage, one assassin", since she does spend a lot of her time patrolling without being asked.

When Callum tells Lujanne that he was bad at prince stuff, and she asks if he didn't give up and got good at those things anyway, it's an opportunity for Callum to embrace subverting his parents' expectations in favor of seeking his own path, which is a primary theme of the show. But Lujanne is a couple generations older than Callum, at the very least, and I have to wonder what her upbringing was like. Is her version of success the one she took? Was she bad at magic once too, but she persisted? She is very soft and doesn't want to kill anyone.

Maybe Lujanne had dreams of doing something else with her life, but she felt she had to pursue the destiny that others handed to her, so she studied magic as hard as she could, and she did get good at it, but using it to defend Xadia from humans is not what she wanted to do with her life. Whether there's a parallel between her and Ethari on that point, there's one between Callum and Ethari, I think. How much of your life are you willing to let others direct for you?

LISTEN I WAS DYING AT THE EAR BREAD SCENE OKAY

This is my new favorite Soren and Claudia moment ever. Soren loves him his bread, okay. Even as earplugs for Claudia's sleep ocarina tune. The fact that it's "super effective" makes me think of a Pokemon defense. The fact that he learned it at camp, where he also learned about Moonshadow Madness, is hilarious. Later on, Corvus doesn't know Soren by name, but I still love the idea of Corvus being a kind of Strider-esque camp instructor, filling the ears of his young charges with all kinds of useful tactics like ear bread for magic spell songs (which actually seemed to work as intended), and warnings about the enemy elves' blood-themed tactics (which may or may not come back around in BH)

I thought they were gonna go in a kind of deep direction when Soren still wanted his ear bread back, but then he just. Eats them. Just noms them. I love this kid. Give Soren all the bread!

[to-many-towered-camelot]

book notes

for anyone who is interested in a nuanced take on fairy beliefs vs the Christian Church in the Middle Ages, this book by Richard Firth Green was actually so good, if your library has it:

[Image: Front cover of the book ‘Elf Queens and Holy Friars: Fairy Beliefs and the Medieval Church’ by Richard Firth Green]

like, obvs it’s just one person’s take on a very complex topic, but it’s well-written, well-researched, and it uses a bunch of Arthurian examples throughout to explore this dynamic (see under cut)

really interesting exploration of how the Church’s response evolved from the early-High Middle Ages (”dude, you believe in fairies? hhhmmm, do penance for 10 days”) to the Late Middle Ages/Early Modern Period (”kill them for heresy and witchcraft!”) 

and how it enfolded vernacular/fairy beliefs into Christian doctrine as fairies being either a) demons or b) the illusions of demons (and how dangerous/bad these demons were depended on the time/location/cleric in question - some packaged fairies as “neutral” demons who fell when the rebel angels did, and who must be punished on Earth but will return to Heaven on Doomsday - potentially doing this to soften things for their parishioners, who often held these fairy beliefs and reconciled them with Christianity, uh, differently than the Church officially would prefer)

and enduring belief in fairies existed in both common and aristocratic circles (can see this in medieval romances, although they’re not the only source of evidence), rather than just being used as cultural “decoration” by a more sceptical upperclass

aaaaand because of this conflation of fairy = demon, you get a really interesting blend/overlap with medieval demonology and enduring “folk” beliefs (obvs not all of medieval demonology was just rebranded fairies, but some of it defs was - you see stories being retold with “devil” instead of “elf”, for example)

INCLUDING in Arthuriana - how you get Morgan the Fairy (”le Fay”) vs Morgan who was raised in a nunnery and learned dark magic there, the Lady of the Lake as a (largely) positive force, Merlin inexplicably as a (perceived to be...) Good Guy despite being the literal antichrist, the Green Knight and all the overlap with Christian symbolism in that story, etc, etc. and they all just either??? co-exist in the same stories or appear through either more fay or more ~Christian lenses depending on the version

and it creates a very interesting and very confusing soup of Stuff stemming from a very confusing - and sometimes dangerous - soup of official and unofficial beliefs evolving over hundreds of years

anyway, WRT Arthuriana it’s got (and ymmv on these, but they’re all interesting thoughts):

(i think in Gottfried’s Tristan???) apparently Tristan has a rainbow fairy dog called Petitcriu...name a knight less deserving of such a Good Boy smh

Chretien’s Yvain flooding out Laudine at the fountain (...jerk) as a continuation of the beliefs surrounding a magical Spring at Barenton 

Gingalain moving from being the son of Gawain and the fairy Blanchemal (and having a fairy love interest, Pucelle) in the French OG version (~1200-ish) to being the son of Gawain and his human mistress (with Pucelle also being human) in a later 15th-C Middle English version)

AJDKN UJ IOE E Merlin’s conception, that one’s a wild ride - theologians REALLY didn’t like the idea of demons being fertile, and the work-arounds they came up with were...incredible. but skipping over that sheer comedy, the author draws links between Merlin’s conception and the general trend of claiming a fairy lover/whatever when a difficult-to-explain pregnancy arose. He also theorises that Geoffrey’s idea for Merlin’s father being a demon/fairy may have come from Nennius saying that Merlin/Ambrosius’ mother “never knew a man”. Later adaptations of this storyline made it even more fay-like (when they weren’t, like Robert de Boron, making it more fucked-up) by making Merlin’s father invisible (Wace) or a super attractive guy in swanky gold clothes (Layamon) - and Vortigern’s advisor explaining the creatures that lived between the earth and the moon until doomsday, etc, etc (walking that line between fairy and incubi, whichhhhhh was not clearly delineated in the Middle Ages the way it is now). also there’s one 13th-C Anglo-Norman poem where Merlin’s father is a bird that transforms into a dashing young squire, which isn’t terribly demon-y. So even though most versions of this story describe Merlin’s dad as an incubi-demon, what people understood this to mean may have been more fay-ish that we’d expect nowadays (depending on the reader, and also on authorial intention - some are pretty explicit that he’s a demon [many clerics keen to push this as the main narrative], while others refer to him as an elf or fairy). some contemporary scepticism during this time about Merlin having any sort of supernatural parentage as well

[none of the same Church anxieties about explaining away how the Plantagenets and other aristocratic families claim a female fairy ancestress - maybe bc there’s none of the stress about patrilineal bloodlines??? who knows! but yeah, much less thought given to those stories in ecclesiastical circles, and they were very popular in vernacular romances (male aristocratic wish fulfilment?). also, fairy enchantments =/= necromancy, so there are stories like the non-cyclic Lancelot where the Lady of the Lake is found out to be “a fairy by education, not by nature or heredity” (Elspeth Kennedy), with the spirits used in necromancy being demons, not fairies. also potential trend of female-associated magic becoming more passive and book-learned, gradually demonising it leading up to early-modern witch hunts.]

Geoffrey of Monmouth in his Historia and in the Vita Merlini being actually pretty circumspect about saying whether or not Arthur was alive/dead, returning/not returning, maybe due to his work/text being a (hypothesised) defence of the Welsh as being “civilised” (and having been so for centuries before the Normans came) - with the corollary that believing in Arthur’s return was somehow “uncivilised”. Author argues that this may be due to an association with fairy beliefs, and that Layamon is the one that makes Avalon explicitly fey. Also the author describes Arthur as living in a “feminised version of the Christian heaven” (iconic) and says that later writers and people could be very scornful of this belief held by the Britons/Welsh/etc, and that it was contrary to orthodox ways of thinking. 

Links the “discovery” of Arthur and Guinevere’s bodies in Glastonbury in the late 12th-C as similar to when individuals found the bodies of their loved ones, thus making it much harder to believe (and hope) that they were still alive in fairyland. Makes a suggestion that the monks in Glastonbury who “found” these bodies may have been trying to curry favour with the English crown (i.e. champion/hope of the Welsh isn’t coming back) but also may have been trying to “help”/”save”/correct the thoughts/ideology of the Welsh (i.e. “set them on the correct path to salvation”). Lots of medieval writers describing Arthur as living in “fairyland”. Precedent of people visiting fairyland and returning, so Avalon/fairyland =/= a place only for the dead (i.e. Arthur isn’t dead). An Arthurian example, albeit a less explicitly fay one, is Lancelot getting in and out of Gorre (with Gorre as a “typically supressed and rationalised” version of fairyland) in Chretien’s Knight of the Cart.

Some stuff about the wild horde (distinct from the wild hunt) being presented by some writers as very penitential (i.e. they are departed souls that may look like they’re bearing arms/hunting/whatever as they did in life, but really they are in agony e.g. because their weapons burn them) and tbh demonic (black armour, carrying torches, ominous aesthetic). Other writers thought maybe it was - once again! - demonic impersonators rather than actual mortal souls. (Should note also that the wild horde/wild hunt motifs were not always associated with their being dead). Relevant in the Arthurian context because Arthur and his court were sometimes associated with the idea of the wild horde (as in, sometimes the wild horde is described as Arthur’s court living it up in a cool, undying sort of way - “in the likeness of knights hunting or jousting, commonly known as the household of Hellequin or of Arthur” [Etienne de Bourbon, a medieval writer] - with Hellequin’s household often being used to encompass either the wild hunt or the wild horde). Ultimate point made by the author (props to him, he’s always like “if i’m right” lol) that for many clerical writers, it was very uncomfortable to leave people with the impression that Arthur and his court were living it up in fairyland (and similar for other figures associated with the wild hunt/horde) and this idea needed to be corrected/shaped to suit more orthodox perspectives - e.g. tying in with notions of purgatory, etc. 

Aaaand this one was exciting to me just bc i’ve vaguely heard about Arthur and his knights snoozing under a hill, but for some reason i could only remember this being in Victoria-era-and-onwards poetry. 3 versions of the same tale, where a servant looks for his master’s lost horse on a Sicilian mountain. Version 1) servant of a bishop finds his master’s horse in the beautiful palace of Arthur’s court beneath Mt Etna. Aside from the fact that the ancient wound Arthur received from Mordred opens once a year, it’s not very purgatory-like. Version 2) a dean’s servant is told by an old man that King Arthur has the horse on Mt Gyber (Mt Etna). he is told that his master must attend Arthur’s court in 14 days, but the dean laughs it off...then sickens and dies on the appointed day (whoops). Enough differences to this story compared to the first to suggest an oral circulation. Also a note in the version/text that such mountains are said to be the mouth of hell, and only the wicked are sent there, not the chosen. Version 3) Etienne again! Also likely changed with intervening oral circulation. The master is not an ecclesiastical figure, and Arthur’s palace is now a populous city - also Arthur is not referred to, just a nameless prince. There is a gatekeeper who warns the servant not to eat or drink while he’s there (that...is a very fairy-ish proscription). This mountain is apparently reputed to be the site of purgatory. The book author (Richard, i mean) ties these versions in with other stories/accounts of different entrances to purgatory (e.g. one on an island in an Irish lake) as being part of a gradual process of “rendering [...] fairyland purgatorial”. 

Finally, Gawain in Roman van Walewein: To get to an ‘earthly paradise’ [i.e. King Assentijn’s garden with its fountain of youth - side note that ‘earthly paradises’ were often popularly described to be fairyland/where fairies live, in addition to their theological functions, e.g. Avalon was sometimes described as an earthly paradise...i should also say that purgatory was frequently thought to be located beside earthly paradise, so there’s the proximity element] and the castle containing it, Gawain must cross a river (guided by a magical talking fox) that a) has waters that burn like fire, and b) can only be crossed by using a bridge sharper than a razor. His reaction? “Is it the enchantment of elves or magic / that I see?”. He is then guided by the fox underneath the river through a tunnel, and is told that the river’s source is in the depths of hell, and “[the river] is the true purgatory / All souls, having departed from the body / Must come here to bathe.” So it’s a very strong intermingling of fairy and purgatorial imagery/ideas!

I dunno, I just found this very ??? satisfying to read

it leaned towards lit-crit at times (which, considering the subject matter, is honestly fair enough), but it was more respectful of vernacular beliefs than so many other academic takes i see (ofc ymmv re: anything to do with non-Christian major religions, but i think the author’s pretty solid on this!), and it had an explanation for the survival of these beliefs that imo made a lot of sense, especially from a pan-European perspective, not just a Celtic one 

plus it explored the undeniable damage done by Christianity over history without making up some “ranged battle between paganism and the Church” that i see  e v e r y w h e r e  in casual Arthurian circles...which, like, i empathise with the vibe, but also! that’s just straight-up historical revisionism! (i blame MZB and the 80′s for that one)

(there was a fantastic post floating around a while ago about how the religious syncretism in Arthurian literature is much more interesting than peeling away all of the Catholicism in the medieval lit (...you ?? don’t end up with much left?) and saying that this is more “accurate” to some obscure original)

anyway yeah yeah ymmv but it’s v interesting 😊

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 2

Boggy the Froggy!

Welcome back, ya’ll! We jump back in with our Bad Kids (or 4/6 of them anyway) the very next day. Fabian sends Gilear out on a coffee run on the threat of bodily harm. His mom–who, if you remember is low-key a total badass–tells Fabian that if Gilear doesn’t come back from the quest alive, she’s going to duel him to the death on top of the house. Yikes. At Chez Thistlespring, Gorgug’s parents give him another very detailed sex talk and then remind him that he lives in a world where magic is very real so any and all dreams he remembers should be treated as omens. 

At the haunted house, Adaine wakes up having had portentous dreams like everyone else which is doubly concerning I have to imagine considering (1) she is the eleven oracle and (2) as a full elf she’s supposed to trance, not sleep and dream. Luckily for her nerves, she cast Find Familiar the night before and summoned an emotional support familiar which she gave the amazing name Bogariel Frogariel aka: Boggy the Froggy. 

Meanwhile (and I needed to switch paragraphs because Kristen is doing the D&D equivalent of playing Twister while everyone else is playing Checkers as she is wont to do) Kristen is talking to Tracker about changing Yes? again because she is filled with doubt about her god of doubt but the one thing she clearly doesn’t have doubt about is her relationship with Tracker because it’s been less than a year and she already sees wedding bells in their future. Wild. She also invites Tracker on the quest, rectifying what I thought was a wild oversight last week. 

Everyone meets up and they realize Fig and Riz are missing. They (specifically Fabian) can’t get Riz on the phone (which has never happened before) and all of Fig’s stuff is missing. They head over to Riz’s office to see if they can find him but, before that, Tracker cancels the church of Yes? because, sure. 

There are signs of a struggle at Riz’s office, but no blood. They find a picture of Riz’s super-spy dad (Pok) with his arm around someone who appears invisible to them (though the spot is circled in red). They also find claw marks going up to a mirror. Adaine stops Gorgug from touching the mirror which would have driven him insane and had him attack the group. She sees a twisted version of Riz in the mirror which no one else can see until she describes it (suspicious). Then, she dispels magic and the Riz appears in the room…and attacks them (roll for initiative baybee)!

Fabian is flipped the F out. Kristen decides to chill out and drink Riz’s coffee–much to the incredulousness of everyone else (she’s on those chill existential dread vibes). Adaine and Gorgug are stricken by fear but they’re able to snap out of it quickly. Once they’re sure it’s not Riz (the doppelganger is going full creepy horror movie monster with the head twisting and biting and junk), they start going full throttle but Kristen gets a clutch roll and lands a banishment on Nightmare Riz (who was invisible at the time). Also, Adaine finds a gun but no one is down with her packing heat without proper firearms training so she reluctantly puts it back. They confer with Sandra-Lynn and they find out Fig has, for some reason, gone to Bastion City (the capital) and Gorthalax is missing. Also, because Emily is Emily whether she’s present or not, they find out that Fig has decided to multiclass and she is now a bard/warlock with her demon dad as her patron. Those might be connected because, as her patron, Gorthalax can now find Fig at all times.  

Sklonda, in the meantime, has been investigating a robbery at the mall. They end up there too because Gilear (who is back from his coffee run) said he saw Fig’s bus in the area. They tell Ragh to meet them there and then head over (Gorgug in the old family car which he buys from them for 30 gold (the cost of a pony)–the amount Adaine suggests after the Thistlesprings reject his insane offer of 1000 gold). Also, Kristen leaves her brothers some gold secretly which is sad and also I think not the best way to handle that, but the intention is good. The robbery was of a gem–non-magical I believe–called the Devil’s Heart. [Edit: And apparently Fig’s doing.] Fabian shows up, tries to be helpful, and then eats glass. Normal stuff. 

The group tries to figure out what’s going on with Fig by calling the hotel she’s at and basically doing a straight improv comedy routine, each passing the phone around with a bad story until Adaine just hangs the phone up. Then, they find out from Sklonda that Pok’s partner is a tabaxi (cat person) named Kalina and she is in the empty space in the photo. Sklonda and Sandra-Lynn can see it even though the Bad Kids can’t. 

With that information gathered, the group leaves Elmville for the first time on the way to the Hotel Cavalier in Bastion City and, hopefully, Fig. 

Detention

Fabian for Intern Abuse

Poor Gilear. Fabian solicits increasingly complicated coffee orders from his friends to make Gilear’s job harder and tries to get them to threaten Gilear on their behalf. Even Sandra-Lynn was like, bro. Lay off the guy. Bad form, sir. (Hilarious, but bad). 

Honor Roll

Adaine for Rocking Her Portent Rolls

Adaine had a 19 and a 4 for her portent rolls this session and she used them very judiciously. The first was her 19 which she gave to Gorgug who was about to fail his saving throw and touch the mirror which would have led to him attacking everyone (she has a vision of his beheading her in a rage–sidenote love that Brennan makes her portent rolls actual visions instead of just having the mechanical effect of changing the roll happen). The second was a 4 which she gave to Brennan who was rolling for concentration on Nightmare Riz’s fear spell. What a power move to stare your DM in the face and say, “You roll a 4.” Amazing. Portent rolls are so good you guys. Also, bonus points for coming up with the name Bogariel Frogariel. 

Random Thoughts

Fabian’s response to his mom’s ultimatum that she will fight him if Gilear doesn’t return alive? “Damn, guess I have to fight my mom.”

“MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY FROG.”

Brennan describes Boggy as just the most archetypal looking, round, squishy frog and I want a plush of his yesterday. Or a stress ball! It would go with his whole emotional support thing in game. I love that Siobhan picked not the potentially “useful” or “cool” animal. She went full Marie Kondo and was like, “What’s gonna spark some joy?” Boggy also can give her the help action, which is great!

The episode was great even 2 cast members down, but they were missed. On more than one occasion, I was like, “This is more quiet than usual. I wonder why–ah Emily.” We better get her reaction to Boggy as soon as she’s back.  

Kristen brings up the concept of patenting a god which is wild. We also get an answer to the question I had last week about Tracker’s cleric status–she still is a cleric of the moon goddess. The moon goddess is just chill with her followers not being exclusive. 

Fabian sans Riz is a hilarious mess. For anyone who likes them together as friends and/or romantically there was a lot of Content. Fabian being like, “Idk about Fig but something is def wrong with the Ball because he always answers on the first ring when I call  him.” Him canonically forgetting that he has a name other than The Ball (that’s the name in his phone, obv). And, the coup de grace, him investigating RIz’s office, but only for signs of his name. Him trying to Investigate like Riz, rolling a nat 1, and literally eating glass (“I thought I could taste fingerprints!”). 

“Coffee’s ordered, is the Ball dead?”

Adaine as everyone is clowning on Fabian for possibly making out with the Hangman: The Hangman is much more human than my bitch sister. 

Nightmare Riz, who they still think is actual Riz at this point, pops out of the mirror and Fabian and Adaine’s reactions respectively are, “You can’t do these things!” and, “It’s like 60% of our grade.”

The idea of Gorgug going from a terrified scream into a barbarian rage scream is very funny. Where are the animatics people?

Oh, speaking of people, Fantasy High was trending on tumblr the morning after this stream. Nice job, guys! 

The talk that Gorgug’s parents give him about all dreams being significant is something I always say in movies/books/shows like this. You have protagonists who *know* they live in a magic world and they have weird dreams and it’s not until 2/3rds of the way into the story that they’re like, “Wait. My dreams…mean something?” Bitch, what?

Gorgug’s initial coffee order is Hot Chocolate with a shot of decaf.

Everyone is very chill with Tracker coming onto the quest. Adaine just has one rule: No sex in the tent while they’re also in the tent. Kristen asks like she’s offended Adaine would feel the need to say that but like…come on. 

At first, I thought the invisibility in the photo was similar to the non-Adaine bad kids not being able to see Nightmare Riz until she described him but they still couldn’t see the woman in the photo after Sklonda described her so not sure what was going on with the mirror. 

I went back to the episode where Riz finds the photo of his dad (First Kisses and Last Words at around 1 hour, 27 mins in) and in that photo it’s of his dad and his mom. So either (1) it’s a different photo, (2) Brennan forgot/retconned something, or (3) something seriously screwy is going on. I will also note two observations here. Sklonda mentioned that Kalina doesn’t drink but was holding up her hand in a toast like she was drinking in the photo. That seems too specific a detail to not mean anything. And the second thing is, last ep, we did learn about a servant of the Nightmare King called the Shadow Cat and Kalina (if that is her real name) is a tabaxi so that’s something to think about. 

With all the complicated coffee orders flying around, Adaine just changes hers to a black coffee to try and make Gilear’s life a little easier (her original order was a Peppermint Mocha–sans the threat of violence to Gilear Fabian was offering). I do really love that Adaine seems genuinely concerned about the guy. SOMEONE should be. And it’s consistent with her characterization of just being generally well mannered and empathetic. 

Kristen getting the banishment on Nightmare Riz is something she did after Ally asked for it and Brennan was like, “lol, sure on a 19 or 20.” Boom. Rolled a 19. Just like in the prom fight. So the lesson here folks is don’t give your players a conditional yes and then expect the dice to bail you out. 

Kristen’s existential crisis is so crazy to me because she’s having, like, a prototypical Crisis of Faith™ (and pretty realistically) except, unlike in real life, she has certain knowledge about the existence of gods, life after death, and the means to communicate with those deities in the present day like…I feel like you’re crisis-ing wrong, girl. She’s crisis-ing like she just deconverted from Christianity when I feel like what actually happened is closer to, like, quitting a sorority or realizing you hate your major or changing political parties.  

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents homestuck helioism again

Ragh had a dream matching up with Gorgug’s (but he didn’t realize it was Gorgug in his dream) which means something and I’m sure we’ll figure out what soon enough. 

The Fabian eating glass scene is another one where you truly need to see it to understand how great it is. Lou is equally game to have Fabian be the coolest person who ever lived or a huge baby and Fabian running away crying because he has glass shards in his tongue is incredible. Hilariously, he runs into Ragh in the food court who has also eaten glass in the past (“Glass is literally invisible.”) and they bro bond over it so hard (“That’s my boy!”) that Tracker and Kristen are like…are they a thing?

The other crazy scene is the gang passing around the phone trying to convince the hotel receptionist to give them info about Fig. Kristen comes up with the name Teddy Guyger (and Zac and I at the same time are like, “Did you get the name Teddy because you have a teddy bear in your inventory rn?”). Fabian tries to drop his dad’s name. Their first move for some reason isn’t to give the phone to Gorgug who is also a part of the band. Adaine just hangs up the phone like Peppa Pig. Exquisite comic timing. 

“I cast bane on Gilear.”

I love the running joke of Adaine having visions throughout the day of her friends in the process of doing dumb BS.

Nightmare Riz going after Fabian’s good eye was big gross. Thanks Brennan, I hate it.  

I wonder if what’s going on with Fig is completely different than what’s going on with Riz. Just because they’re gone for the same reason irl, doesn’t mean they’re gone for the same reason in game. Nightmare Fig could be a fun fight though.

As someone whose fave thing in D&D is not combat, I thought the fight in this episode was great. Interesting concept, good chance for in-character reactions, not too long . 

Ragh upon meeting Tracker: Check it out: I’m gay. (Tracker: Tight.)

Fabian, who has known Cathilda his entire life: Do maids dream?

In this ep, Kristen and Adaine rolled 2 nat 20s each (Kristen rolled one for initiative also but it was lowered by her modifier), and Gorgug and Fabian each rolled 1. Fabian also rolled a nat 1 (which, again, led to him Eating Glass).  

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #15 (1980)

If the story so far had revealed that Cerebus has a vagina, I could make a hentai joke here.

The first time I encountered hentai was at an anime convention at a Red Lion Inn in San Jose in 1994 or 1995. I went to the convention by myself because I had recently fallen in love with the cartoon Sailor Moon and wanted to get some Sailor Moon LaserDiscs unless it was actually Sailor Moon dolls I wanted. It was so long ago, how am I supposed to remember?! They had a room where they were showing movies and one of the movies I watched was Sailor Moon R: The Movie. It was subtitled which was great because then I had the story memorized for all the times I watched my non-subtitled LaserDisc. But that wasn't the pornographic anime I saw! I don't even remember what that was but I watched some tentacle fucking movie late at night in a dark room with a bunch of other sweaty nerds. I didn't know that was what was going to happen though so I didn't have my dick in my hands like the other guys probably did. I was as shocked as anybody when they first find out that cartoons where women get fucked by tentacles exist! I mean, how many penises does an alien need?! I grew up thinking the little gray aliens had zero! That Red Lion Inn was the same one where I played in a couple of Magic the Gathering tournaments. Being in a dark room with a bunch of horny anime fans was less awkward and uncomfortable than playing Magic the Gathering against Magic the Gathering fans. Most of them probably couldn't believe they were actually playing against such a cool and handsome dude. It really threw them off their game when I would say things like, "Yeah, I've touched a couple of boobs. I attack with my Serra Angel." I know what you're thinking: "Anime, comic books, and Magic the Gathering?! This awesome dude must have owned every single Stars Wars figure too!" Aw, you're too kind! I'm blushing! But obviously I never owned Yak Face. "A Note from the Publisher" is still being published so I guess Dave and Deni are still married. In his Swords of Cerebus essay, Dave Sim discusses "Why Groucho?" It seems to mostly come down to this: Dave Sim enjoyed the characters of Groucho Marx as a teenager and memorized a lot of their lines. He also mentions Kim Thompson's review of Cerebus in The Comic Journal (the first major review of the series) in which Kim praised Sim's ability to make his parody characters transcend the parody to become unique creations of their own. This review gave Sim the confidence to put Groucho in the role of Lord Julius. Which worked out so well that Sim later adds Oscar Wilde, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Margeret Thatcher, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Woody Allen, Dave Sim, and the Three Stooges into the story. I'm sure I'm missing some but I can't remember every aspect of this 6000 page story. Was The Judge also a parody of somebody? Was the Regency Elf based on Wendy Pini? I don't know! I'm sure I'm missing a lot of references in Cerebus simply because I haven't experienced all the same knowledge sources as Dave Sim. Just like I'm missing a super duper lot of references in Gravity's Rainbow because nobody in the history of ever has experienced all the same knowledge sources as Thomas Pynchon. I've been reading Gravity's Rainbow (for the first time but also the third time because I'm basically reading it three times at the same time. You'll understand when you read it) and I'm surprised by how funny it is. I don't think anybody ever described it as funny or else I'm sure I would never have stopped reading it multiple times prior to this time when I'm actually going to finish it. Although I suppose when I read Catch-22, I had done so on my own so nobody ever told me how funny that book was either. But for some reason, Catch-22 lets you know it's going to be a funny book pretty quickly. Gravity's Rainbow is all, "Here is a description of an evacuation of London which is just stage setting because, you know, the bombs have already blown up, but it makes people feel safe. And after that, how about a scene where this guy makes a bunch of banana recipes for breakfast. Is that funny enough for you?" Oh, sure, there are some funny moments like when that one guy pretends a banana is his cock and then some other guys tackle him and beat him with his own pretend cock. But there's a gravity to the scene that doesn't lend itself to the reader thinking, "Oh, this is a funny book!" But if you make it far enough, you start realizing, "Hey! I'm not understanding this!" So then you reread the section and you start realizing, "Hey! I'm laughing at this stuff! This is pretty funny!" Plus there are a lot of descriptions of sexy things that I'm assuming are really accurate because Pynchon is obsessed with details.

Anyway, I was supposed to be talking about Cerebus, wasn't I?

A Living Priest of Tarim crashes Lord Julius' bath to scold him about a party Julius is giving in a fortnight (which is the amount of time your kid has lost to a video game). I don't know why the priest has to declare he's a living priest. You can tell that by the way he's shouting and foaming at the mouth. Although this is a Swords & Sorcery book so I suppose there are many dead creatures that also shout and foam at the mouth. Sometimes I forget I'm reading a fictional book and wind up ranting and raving about stuff that I'm supposed to just assume is fine. Like when I read The Flash and nothing in it makes any sense at all because The Flash should never have any trouble stopping crime or saving people from natural disasters. The comic book should be over in two pages. Even the writers, at some point, realized how ridiculous Flash stories were and decided the only way to make them believable was to have The Flash battle other super fast people. But that just meant Flash stories basically became bar-room brawls. Two people with super speed fighting is the same as reading a story about two people without super speed fighting. Boring! Some writers even decided that maybe a telepathic monkey would make things more interesting and I suppose telepathic monkeys make everything more interesting so kudos to them. I was going to go on a long rant about telepathic monkeys but then I realized how much I love the idea of telepathic monkeys so why should I create an argument against them? More telepathic monkeys, please.

This made me laugh out loud. Not as much as the chapter in Gravity's Rainbow where the old woman forces Slothrop to eat a bunch of terrible candies. But then it isn't a competition, is it? I mean, I guess it's a competition for my time which is why I haven't written a comic book review in a week or more. Blame Thomas Pynchon for being so entertaining (and also Apex).

Baskin, the Minister for Executive Planning, has come to let Lord Julius know what the revolutionaries have revealed while being tortured. The only bit of useful information was one prisoner's last words: "Revolution...the pits." Cerebus immediately assumes "the Pits" is a location and not a summation of the prisoner's feelings about revolution which led to torture which led to his death. Cerebus, being the Kitchen Staff Supervisor, begins an investigation into The Pits. His first step: threatening the Priest of the Living Tarim. Which makes me realize I transposed the word "living" in the previous encounter with the priest and went on a digression that makes no sense to anybody who has read and somehow remembers that particular panel. I'm sure they were scoffing and snorting and exclaiming to their pet rat, "What a stupid fool loser this Grunion Guy is! Living Priest of Tarim! HA! Ridiculous! What a moronic mistake! He has made a gigantic fool of himself!" I don't know that the almost certainly imaginary people who called me on my mistake as they read this have a pet rat but I do know there almost certainly isn't another imaginary sentient being in the room with them. Cerebus learns that The Pits are Old Palnu that lies under current Palnu. It was destroyed in a massive earthquake long ago and the new city built over the top of it. It's like a Dungeons & Dragons module but with a lot less treasure.

This scene reminded me that I need to finish rereading The Boomer Bible: A Testament for Our Times (which is what it was called in the 90s but is just as accurate for today).

Cerebus and Lord Julius engage in another typical misunderstanding (it's not hard when only half of the people in the conversation care about making sense) which ends up with Lord Julius deciding that the location for the Festival of Petunias will be The Pits. This complicates Cerebus' job of not allowing Lord Julius to be assassinated because the assassins are most likely housed in The Pits (along with their giant snakes (*see cover)). Lord Julius, Baskin, and Cerebus descend into The Pits to find a suitable location for the Festival of Petunias. In doing so, they wind up in a trap and confronted by a masked revolutionary of the "Eye of the Pyramid." Which is odd because you usually have to murder at least a dozen kobolds and several goblins before you reach the room with the boss in it.

Typical unbalanced beginning level module. A giant snake as the first encounter!

Cerebus manages to defeat the giant snake by crashing it headfirst into a wall. The wall winds up being a key support structure and the roof collapses. Everybody makes it out alive but the masked revolutionary evades capture. He will be back next issue to ruin the Festival of Petunias. Aardvark Comment is still just a mostly standard comic book letters page. I'll probably stop discussing it until people start criticizing Dave. Right now it's just "This comic book is great!" and "Keep writing, Dave, and I'll never think ill of anything idea you espouse!" while Dave replies, "I owe my fans everything! I can't wait until I can stop feeling that way and start jerking off onto my art boards and selling those as pages of Cerebus!" Cerebus #15 Rating: A. Good story, good Lord Julius dialogue, good Living Priest of the Living Tarim scenes. I wholeheartedly endorse this comic book and Dave Sim. No way a guy with a sense of humor like this is going to go off the rails, right?!

[donttellthemangosiwashere]

Sanders Sides RPG AU

Ok so hear me out

new au, Dungeons and Dragons / Savage Worlds / generalized RPG, work in progress, definitely gonna draw for it so dont worry about that

hoping to make it into an ask blog if there’s interest, or if there isnt, because I still like it lol

definitely a lot still mold-able here, if you have some ideas or additions or head cannons to add, please pile them on! :D

LOGAN - (moon elf) Half-elf, Lore Bard (wizard was too obvious) - inspires through teaching moments, inspirational speaking, encouragement, and maybe a rap or poem on a special day - despises the stereotype that all bards sing and dance - raised by the elven parent, this + longer lifespan = detachment from emotion - Wisdom and Intelligence high, Charisma and Strength mid, Dexterity and Constitution low - Lawful Neutral (doesn't bother himself much with arbitrary rules of morality but definitely isn't evil) - Weaknesses: bad at emotions, tends to over-speak, short fuse

PATTON - Stout Halfling, Open Hand Monk - loves good food and companionship - focus on the wellness of the body and purity of the heart and soul - calls himself a ‘way of the open arms’ monk (hugs!) - Dexterity and Wisdom high, Charisma and Constitution mid, Intelligence and Strength low - Lawful Good (lying bad, stealing bad, killing bad) - Weaknesses: a bit judge-y and strict(practically raised by a bunch of old monks and a therapist, he cant help it), quick to trust, fear of spiders

ROMAN - Protector Aasimar, Oath of the Crown Paladin (bard was too obvious) - son of Sune, goddess of beauty and passion and the color red, who really just lets him do his own thing cause she's about as close to 'drunk/cool mom but to the point of negligence' that you can get while still being loved by ur son - so, stick with me here, paladins get their powers from their belief in what they swore their oath to, right? - ideas are EITHER boy is a prince literally/emotionally and swore an oath to himself like a g OR he swore an oath to his king, thomas - either is wholesome and good - Charisma and Strength high, Dexterity and Wisdom mid, Constitution and Intelligence low - Chaotic Good (will break the rules to do what he knows is right, happens to do so frequently) - Weaknesses: super-inflated ego, insecurity issues, v strong but not actually very hardy

VIRGIL - Drow, Wild Magic Sorcerer - during an event he doesn't remember well, while travelling with his old party, they came across Some Shit® that sorta fucked them all up - he went into the experience without magic and came out of it with magic he couldn't control and some pretty bad nerves about some impending doom something something he doesnt remember - left his old party cause he didn't want to hurt them, found three new guys after a while - Strength and Constitution high, Intelligence and Dexterity mid, Wisdom and Charisma low - Lawful Neutral (follows his own code of rules, not necessarily the laws of the land) - Weaknesses: has some trust issues, Some Shit®-related/induced nightmares keeping him from sleeping good, can't control his powers and lost confidence in his previous skills (range-based fighter)

DECEIT - Yuan-ti Pureblood (I mean, clearly), Warlock (either great old one or demonic, still deciding on that) - one one of them who remembers the Some Shit®, came out of it with a deal, knowledge he can't safely share, and some new powers - seems to want the best for everyone, but harbors so many secrets... can he be trusted? - Charisma and Intelligence high, Dexterity and Wisdom mid, Strength and Constitution low - True Neutral (driven purely by self preservation and personal goals, not 'good' but def not evil) - Weaknesses: compulsive liar, short patience, the awareness of impending doom

REMUS - Fallen Aasimar, Wild Soul Barbarian - son of Sune, goddess of beauty and passion, brother of Roman. Mom hardly talks to either of them if at all, but they're pretty sure Roman is the favorite. Remus doesn't appreciate that her views of beauty are so restricted to traditionally attractive things, and started wearing green as part of a rebellious phase, but it really stuck when he started hanging around faries and they seemed to like it so much. (his mom is mega petty and condemmed him as fallen when he said red wasn't his favorite color. this is not a joke) - spent a lot of time planehopping to the nearby feywild, underdark, and shadowfell, met some strange people, and adpoted some strange tendencies and beliefs - Met virgil first, then they found deciet, becoming The Boys® - also saw the Some Shit®, doesnt remember it, but pretty sure that's because it just wasn't very interesting compared to a usual Saturday - Constitution and Strength high, Dexterity and Wisdom mid, Charisma and Intelligence low - Chaotic Chaotic (he cannot be defined with a moral tag and you know he can't) - Weaknesses: unpredictable to the extreme, some inadequacy issues, maybe crazy a little bit This is a fantasy world with several of Thomas and Friends and various skit characters inside, as follows: (I only have thomas joan and talyn rn, no idea for terrence and valerie and camden and the others yet... any ideas lol)(i hope i'm spelling everyone's names right)

REMY - Half-Elf, Inquisitive Rogue - Logan's older brother, formerly a spy for the kingdom they live in, actually very high level but prefers to sleep and otherwise do absolutely nothing - obscenely good at reading people, which Logan desperately envies - hangs around picani a lot, used to go to him for therapy (wouldnt tell logan what about) but now they're just good bros - Charisma and Dexterity high, Constitution Dexterity and Wisdom mid, Strength low (higher levels, less lows) - True Neutral - Weaknesses: debilitatingly lazy, blunt, Curious with a capital C

EMILE PICANI - Lightfoot Halfling, Circle of Dreams Druid - uses his abilities to read and sooth people really well and works as a therapist - sweet boy and housemate to patton, known each other since patton was a child - also pretty high level but doesnt really use it - Charisma and Wisdom high, Dexterity Constitution and Intellegence mid, Strength low - Lawful Good - Weaknesses: first language is refrences, refuses to display negative emotions (more of a 'i will philosophy and cartoon my way out of my sad asap' than an emotion-bottler, but don't put it past him) THOMAS

- Human, Glamour Bard (pretty 👏 boy 👏) - inspires through singing, dancing, performing, encouragement, speeches, literally breathing - Charisma and Intelligence high, Dexterity Strength and Wisdom mid, Constitution low - Lawful Good - Weaknesses: quick to trust and sympathize, puts others first (strengths AND weaknesses) - Lord of base town, with Joan and others as his Advisers

JOAN - Tiefling, Mastermind Rogue (sneaky spooky smart one, good with knowing about people without being necessarily good with people) - Thomas's primary adviser and master of secrets, Remy worked for them - looks scary, very pure. cuts cute little horn holes in their beanie for god's sake i mean come on - Wisdom and Dexterity high, Charisma Intelligence and Strength mid, Constitution low - Neutral Good - Weaknesses: You assume??? Joan can be bested??? Joan cannot be killed. Joan cannot be overcome

TALYN - Forest Gnome, Abjuration Wizard (protective spells) (cute small) - A prime adviser and Master of Knowledge (lore, history, scientific developments, etc) - favors defensive and ally-boosting spells - Logan's teacher; Logan respects and admires them very very much - Intelligence and Charisma high, Dexterity Constitution and Wisdom mid, Strength low - Neutral Good - Weaknesses: its Talyn, Talyn has no weaknesses. thoughts?? interest?? suggestions?? thank you for reading this long post lol

[carpedmtranscripts]

Episode 1: Feast or Famine Transcript (wip)

[Intro music. Very boisterous, accordian music.]

Nate: So my name is Nate, I have been uh.. I’ve been dungeonmastering since I was eleven or twelve years old, when I was in seventh grade I got my dad’s copy of, uh, Advanced Dungeons and Dragons that I- no, nonono, it was Basic Adventurer’s set, I got AD&D from him later. I found it in his closet and played it with my friends and had a real great time and since then I’ve played GURPS, Shadowrun, Mazes and Monsters, Labrynth, uh, I playtested basic fantasy roleplaying game and I’ve played it a lot since then, uh, and I haven’t been a big fan of 2.0 to 4.0 but I did really like 5e and we are going to be playing fifth edition today which is a real fun game. So again, I’m Nate, I go by they, and I’ve got my three friends here today to play their characters and we’re going to hear from James first.

James: Uh, hi. I’m James, I’m 17, I’m the fucking.. Token non-American in the group. I’ve played [Nate: What’s America?].. Listen, [Nate: We’re in a fantasy world, there’s no America here.] Oh, yeah, and I’m the only one with an accent. Right.

James: I tried to [Nate: I have an accent.] get into Fourth edition D&D but it really just didn’t work cause it didn’t just.. I don’t know, it just didn’t feel good at all to play. Fifth edition feels way better and I’m getting way into it but I’ve really only played a couple of sessions, and I’ve got no characters higher than level three.

James: But, I’ve read the handbook like seven times, and I’m trusting Nate with this, sooo- [Nate: I don’t really know why you would do that, but.] Because you’ve played like twelve thousand different versions.

Nate: Uh, that’s true. And I don’t know how many of them- I’ve DMed in all of these systems at some point, and I don’t- except for Shadowrun, I’ve never done that, and I don’t, I would never want to. But I, uh-

James: Listen, my only experience with Shadowrun is the videogame, so you’ve  got more experience than me. 

Nate: I’ve never played that, but I have played two different Shadowrun characters. But I don’t really understand how that system works, I just played it with my group.

James: Well, either way, I am playing a moon elf named Lliana, who goes by they (Transcriptor note: Lliana also starts using she pronouns in the next episode, but is still nonbinary), I go by he or they, and I plan on being a wizard, my highest stats are dex and intelligence, and I’ve got fuckall strength and charisma. [Nate: *slight laughter* Awesomesauces.] I leave that one up to Roddy.

Nate: Alright, next let’s hear from Knives.

Knives: I’m Knives, and I’m 17, I go by it and he, (Transcriptor note: Knives primarily goes by he/him but also goes by it still on occasion) and I’ve played one campaign like years ago and it was 3.5 edition. [Nate: Eugh] *small laugh* [Nate: I’m biased.] It was like, four years ago too, so I was like twelve. Geez. Um, anyway, my character is a copper dragonborn which means I have acid (??? STAS?), and her name is Dee, and she also uses they pronouns, too. And her highest are strength, dexterity, and constitution; her lowest is intelligence.

Nate: Gotcha, gotcha. And last of all, let’s hear from Roddy.

Roddy: Alright, hi. I’m Roddy, I’m 15, I go by he pronouns. I play a lot of Dungeons and Dragons, pretty much entirely fifth edition. I’ve also played some Call of Cthulu, which has sorta different stuff, but the same sort of premise. I literally have three campaigns going on right now counting this one, um, I’m playing a tiefling sorcerer, who I named Vigil. My highest stat is charisma at a rockin’ 17 and then my lowest are strength and wisdom tied, with a ten. 

Nate: Alright, alright. Uh, last thing, I wanna know how old everybody’s characters are. Rod, how old is your character?

Roddy: I am seven years old.

Nate: Seven? Wow, you’re real small. Knives, how old-

James: Did you de-age by two years? [assorted laughter from multiple people]

Roddy: I decided that since I’m tiny in real life, I’m gonna be small-

Nate: Y’know, it’s real funny, the base age for this campaign was supposed to be ten, [Roddy: I’m sorry,] but we have a seven-

James: No, you said around ten, you didn’t say we could only go up. [Roddy: I’m seven years old. (Knives is also laughing here)]

Nate: No nono, ten was the base age, you guys could be around there, but ten was supposed to be the [Roddy: I’m seven years old] average age.

Roddy: I’m seven years old.

James: Well, I’m twelve, so-

Knives: I’m three years old.

Nate: You’re twelve now? You were eleven before! [Roddy: Listen,]

James: Listen, Roddy’s gotten younger, I have to get older. 

Nate: Okay. Knives, how old are you? [Knives: I’m the only one that-]

Knives: Three. [Roddy: But that’s not time.]

Nate: Okay, good, good. We have a three year old, a seven year old, and a twelve year old.

Roddy: You can’t be three, three year olds can’t see!

Knives: But I’m a dragonborn!

Nate: It’s a dragonborn, dragonborns, they do actually- they are adults by... what,-

 Knives: Fifteen. [Nate: Fifteen?]

Knives: And, it says in the handbook that a three year old dragonborn [Nate: Yeah?] is basically exactly a ten year old human. 

Nate: Yeahyeahyeah that is true, it is true, three years is actually like ten for them-

Roddy: So you- so you’re, you’re ten in people years, and three in dragonborn [Knives: Yeah, basically] years?

Nate: In, in dragonborn years-

James: So ten in dragonborn years, [Nate: they’re like dog years] it’s like dog years.

Roddy: It is like dog years, exactly, I’m glad we’re all on the same page.

Nate: Exactly like dog years, but they spit acid.

Nate: Uh, in any case-

Knives: And I have acid resistance, 

Nate: /muttered/ I hate you so much. /end mutter/ In any case, we are- [Laughter from other people] We are ready to play our not video game now, is everybody excited? [Knives:Yep] Alright alright- [James: Hopefully this doesn’t go terribly.] So how do we play dungeons and dragons, anybody know?

James: No fucking idea. [Roddy: Uhhh.]

Nate: Alright, cool. [Roddy: Not a clue, not a clue.] In any case, uh, you three are orphans. Uh, you don’t live in an orphanarium. Unfortunately, you guys live out on the streets. Um, did you ever see the beginning of Fable 2? 

Knives: Nope.

Nate: No?

Roddy: You sent the link earlier but I was- [James: Yes, I’ve beaten that game like four times.]

Nate: It is basically the beginning of Fable 2. You live in a lush kinda, a nice kingdom. But uh, it’s very kinda, cockney, a little bit, where it’s kinda shitty. Things at the, uh, center of the city, are real nice, people have a lot of money. Out on the edges, things tend to be... Less nice. Uh, you guys live on the streets, they’re-y’know- very cobbled streets, very-lots of kind of shitty houses and derelict buildings, and you guys just kind of live wherever. Uh,

James: Nate, if you introduce a music box, I will know where this is leading. 

Nate: I- you already have the music bo- no, no. Um, [Slight laughter from? i cant tell laughs apart rip] you do live on the streets though, and on the streets you guys have a little, kind of, derelict bit of area that you call your own home. Maybe that’s an abandoned building, or uh, an old warehouse or something. Probably by the docks, I would think? But that’s up to you, you guys can live wherever you want, I don’t run your lives. 

Nate: Um, but you guys do live somewhere, and you live together- you’re orphans- and, y’know, there’s other orphans out there, there’s other street orphans. They’re- you’re definitely not the only street orphans in this city, uh, and uh- Oh! This is the city of Eltimoor by the way, you live in Eltimoor. And uh, you live in a much larger kingdom that is run by Eltimoor, is the, the major city of, of the Kingdom of Vellinium. 

Nate: Anyway. So, you guys live in Vellinium. And Eltimoor is the major city, you guys live on the streets, and you’re real small, you’re real sm- you’re three, seven, and twelve, as we’ve fully established. Uh, so. It is late fall right now, so it’s real cold, but it’s not like, super cold. You’re not dying. But you’re definitely having a bad time. You’re all bundled up pretty well. 

Nate: Dragonborn’s probably sitting better than anybody else, cause if I recall, dragonborn do tend to run hotter than other races?

Knives: Yeah.

Nate: So, you’re probably okay, uh, the moon elf here- you’re probably not having a great time. Uh, my tiefling friend- you actually definitely run hotter than everyone else, so you are probably TOTALLY fine. 

Roddy: When you said hotter than everyone else- [James: So I’M the only one getting fucked over by this?] [Nate: Yeah, actually-] When you said hotter than everyone else I winked in real life. 

Nate: Yeah, thanks. Okay, good, you’re welcome, you fucking- idiot child. Okay, [Roddy: *does the tch-tchk thing and, based off of Transcriptor’s experience, probably did fingerguns*] So, *laughs a bit*

Knives: I just wanna say, it’s really easy to get into the mood because I’m too lazy to turn off my cieling fan- it’s freezing in my room right now. 

Roddy: Okay, - [James: Oh, mine’s going fucking wild.] [assorted laughter]

Nate: So, it’s late afternoon. Uh, there’s a light kinda snowfall- I’m assuming your moon elf friend is bundled up real tight but the other two of you are probably, y’know, kind of okay. Wearing clothes, but nothing particularly special. 

Nate: And, uh, it’s late afternoon, light snowfall, sky is, y’know, it’s real grey. And you guys hear some noises coming from a couple of alleys over. Uh, I’m assuming, around this time of day, you’re heading back from whatever street-urchin-y kinds of things you do, panhandle for money or you try to pickpocket people- whatever it is y’know, horrible children do, to try to not starve to death. [Roddy: Whatever it is the kids these days are doing.] Whatever it is the kids are doing, trying to avoid horrible starvation.

Nate: Um, but, you hear some noises, y’know? You hear some laughter, some sticks being thrown against walls, y’know, general, kinda raucous. And uh, there’s other people around, there’s some shops, some kids. [Roddy: ??? 9:45 or so] There’s some people passing by.

Nate: And here, I’m gonna let you guys do whatever it is you wanna do! 

James: So, where the fuck are we?

Nate: You guys... You guys are in your alley, near where your little warehouse house is, that you live in. It’s an old, derelict kinda building, down by the docks, and it- it probably stored, like, boats or boating equipment at some point, but it hasn’t in a real long time. So it’s got a roof on it, and it’s got a big, open room. And inside- 

James: Are we the only people who live here?

Nate: Umm.... Do you want to be?

James: I mean, it just seems strange. I feel like we’ve got this warehouse here, why are we not sharing it with other orphans?

Nate: Do you- do you- okay, do you, well-

Roddy: I’m into that concept.

Nate: I mean, there’s no other orphans here now, but you guys can go- I don’t know, recruit orphans if you want.

[laughter] [Roddy:No rules-] [James: Join my orphan army!]

Roddy: No rules, just right, orphan warehouse.

Nate: Okay, y’know what, sure. This is, um, another orphan warehouse, there’s other orphans that live here. There’s-[Roddy: Like a chain?] there’s other orphans. This is a little, kind of um, [A bunch of laughter]

Knives: An orphan warehouse- [Roddy: Come on down to Orphan Warehouse.]

Nate: [Roddy: ] (im, theres so much happening here,,, 10:56. come back and do this part later. next starts around 11:00)

Nate: It’s a big building, there’s other orphans living there. And inside there’s plywood, and various woods, and boxes, and crates and things, sort of stacked to create individual rooms and whatnot, y’know? Everybody’s kinda got their little area, and some-some parts of it actually look okay, y’know. They’re pretty nice, some people’ve got some nice sort of things. And with the amount of you living there that there are, nobody really gets into too much trouble with each other.

Nate: You don’t really know everybody here particularly well. You guys are, y’know. You’ve lived here your whole live, but you’re children and there’s really no adult supervision here, like at all- at all. So I’m pretty sure, uh- Lliana, you haven’t lived here very long, if I recall?

James: Mhm. (note; said affirmingly)

Nate: Yeah, so you guys aren’t super familiar here, but you do know each other, you do know each other. And um, y’know, you’ve (??? 11:47 or so), it’s snowing. And you guys can go do whatever you want. What do you wanna do, as orphans? What do you wanna do here?

James: Uh, just a question- why am I babysitting the demon? [Roddy: (says something here, at 11:55 or so)]

Nate: You’re- you’re not, you don’t have to stay together.

Roddy: It’s just like real life, James.

Nate: I’m gonna tell you right now, you guys are standing in this building. There are a bunch of little rooms, not too many people here. There is, uh, there’s a little tiefling girl sitting over in her little corner, and she’s- she’s winding a music box- no, uh...

[assorted laughter]

Nate: Y’know what? She’s playing with a music box. It’s totally irrelevant, but she’s having a good time with her music box in the corner, uh, there’s a couple of elf children off in another corner, kind of reading a book together out loud. Um, there’s just some people loitering around. [Roddy: Aw. Good kids.][James: That’s all- boring shit.] Yep. And then, outside, there’s the fish market nearby, y’know, where people come to barter fish- cause you are near the docks.

Nate: And then there’s the boats, where the, the kinda militia resides, and uh, you guys are on the outskirts of the town. You can generally, at this point, you can tell me what you wanna do. What do you wanna do, as orphans?

James: Okay, what the fuck is in the city that I can go check out?

Nate: What do you wanna look for?

James: I don’t know! [some laughter] I don’t know what’s in the city!

Nate: It’s a major, capital city, dude, and y’know, just imagine a basic fantasy town with a castle in the middle, kind of a thing? Y’know, big tower? Uh, there’s probably a king or something in there, you don’t know- you’re like s-, you’re like twelve years old, you don’t know what’s here.

Knives: I have a question. [Nate: You definitely probably know there’s probably someone royal up there.]

Knives: If you had to estimate, how many orphans like live in the warehouse?

Nate. Mhm. If I had to estimate how many orphans live in the warehouse...

James: I don’t think Nate needs to estimate, they can just decide.

Knives: Oooh, I’m-How many orphans live there, not including us?

Nate: Including yourselves, there’s eighteen orphans. So there’s fifteen other orphans that live here, but they’re not all you would know.

James: So we do in fact have an orphan, a small orphan army? [Roddy: Good to know.]

Nate: You got an orphanarium out here, but, uh, there’s people-

Knives: Theoretically, could we overthrow the kingdom with this many orphans?

Nate: I don’t know, I- uh, probably not, actually, that’s not that many orphans, if you really think about it. [assorted laughter] They don’t have great stats.

James: (?? 14:03 or so)

Roddy: In the grand scheme of things...

Nate: In the grand scheme of things, I feel like I’ve killed a lot of orphans in other games, and I don’t think they’re pretty hardy.

Nate: Anyways, it’s up to you, what do you wanna do with your time, what do you wanna do with your day, what do you wanna do with your lives?

Roddy: Did you say that there was like, a ruckus outside?

Nate: Uhhh... It was not a ruckus, [Roddy: Or was it.] it was just kinda like the noise of people playing. Like children.

James: I wanna go check out the docks actually.

Roddy: (14:30 ????)

Nate: Alright, you wanna go see the docks?

James: I do in fact want to see the docks, you mentioned like... Boats, and [Nate: Okay.] militia.

Nate: Yeah, um. You guys are allowed to split up, and if you wanna go together, lemme know.

Knives: I’ll go together. [James: (??? 14:33) like ten,] [Roddy: We should all go together.]

James: I don’t think -splitting the party will get us killed.

Roddy: Yeah, if we encounter, like, a bug. (note; emphasis on bug)

Nate: You will not die in the intro mod as a level zero.

James: I don’t believe you. [assorted laughter]

Nate: I won’t lie, it’s possible, if you guys really screw up, I will fucking kill you.

James: I drown myself in the ocean. [Roddy: Okay.]

Nate: Okay, you die. Congratulations. [Roddy: Don’t do that.]

Nate: Roll a new character. Anyway, um, while James is doing that, let’s- no, no

[laughter]

Roddy: Rest in peace.

Nate: You can continue to be your character, you’re not drowned, shut up. Get out of the water. Um, you go down to the docks! And, down at the docks you see big ships, like, a ton of them, y’know, there’s fifteen to twenty ships out here, they’re loading things, you’ve got people pulling fish on, you’ve got fishermen boats, you’ve got people loading cargo ships.

Nate: You’ve got some people kinda milling around, like they’re waiting to get on passenger ships. You’ve got lots of militia-looking, guard-type people kinda marching around, keeping an eye on things. There’s some rats scurrying around, y’know. General shipyard nonsense.

James: Is there- are there people shipping any sort of food?

Nate: Uh... I don’t know, there’s a bunch of crates.

James: Can I make a perception check to find out? [Roddy: (says something, 15:58 around)

Nate: Yeah, go ahead. Make me a perception check.

James: Oh shit, what was my perception.

Nate: I don’t know.

Roddy: (smthn) plus zero.

Nate: It’s gonna be, uh- [James: Oh, wait a second.]

James: Plus four.

Nate: You don’t have it, uh, remember you’re level zero so you don’t have any, uh,

James: Elves naturally have proficiency in it. (note: talking about perception proficiency)

Nate: Well, ok, yeah [Roddy: I have a pet mouse?] racial- you don’t have a pet mouse.

Roddy: Excu- Yeah I do, it says I do!

Nate: Where- where does it say you have a pet mouse?

Roddy: I have an urchin background because that’s what I just put in, I think that’s what gave me a pet mouse. [Knives(softly): Oh shit.]

Nate: Are you serious? [James: Fuck me sideways.]

James: I rolled a ten.

Nate: Are you serious right now- [James: Yeah he does, I think he does in fact have a pet mouse.]

Roddy: I definitely have a pet mouse, I can send you a picture [Nate: Wait- hold up-].

Knives: It’s in the handbook. If you have an urchin background- [Nate: Does urchin say pet mouse specifically?] Yep. A pet mouse.

Nate: Do you want a- [Roddy: I- I’m very into this.] [Knives: A full sized map of the city,] Okay, y’know what, sure- [Knives: a pet mouse,] Take your mouse. [Knives: a token to remember your parents by,] [Roddy: Aw daaang.] [Knives: Clothes, and a belt pouch containing 10 gp.] Uh, what is this? Does this pet mouse- is it, like, linked to you psychically, can you (something 17:00 or so) of it?

Roddy: I don’t think so. I think it’s just a pet. [James: It’s just a pet.] [Nate: (smthn)] [Knives: It’s a pet mouse.] [James: It’s not a familiar, Nate.]

Nate: Okay- don’t try to get this mouse to go do anything,-

Roddy: Oh yeah, absolutely not. It’s a- it’s a trinket, if nothing else.

[time note; 17:14 around]

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Impressions from TTM

Spoilers, spoilers everywhere. Just a big bulleted list of thoughts as I read through the graphic novel. Not a lot of detail included, so it’ll make a lot more sense if you’ve already read it yourself!

looks like Moonshadow elves cross the arms of the dead... when they have a body to bury

it’s nice to see that Rayla imagines Runaan with all his shirts, the way she last saw him

kinda looks like Rayla changed into her jammies right on her bed and dumped her clothes on that little table. maybe she’s afraid of letting the few things she actually possesses out of her sight

listen we get one little panel of Opeli in here and it’s great

Soren’s cape smacking Callum in the face, 10/10

Lujanne’s appearance out of nowhere, along with Allen’s is just adorable, she’s so sparkly. And also she can apparently just turn totally invisible with an illusion spell? Even at a new moon? Probably because of the Nexus I guess

Lujanne’s “Big strong man with big strong feelings.” She and Runaan have exactly the same type and I support them

Allen’s face when Lujanne says it aches to miss Phoe-Phoe

Callum eating off Rayla’s plate and wondering how Lujanne suspected they were a couple, hmmm

Soren and Allen bonding

Rayla warning Lujanne about hand disguises, as if that was something Runaan made very sure she knew

Rayla’s cute chaos grin when Callum’s Aspiro spell goes off is my favorite pic of her in this whole graphic novel

Lujanne’s “Oh.” afterward is my fave pic of her, too, she does not seem to handle reality well!

Bait’s tongue will never get old

Lujanne’s whole speech during Phoe-Phoe’s rebirth ritual is so touching and beautiful, my heart

Lujanne putting the newborn Moon Phoenix into Ezran’s hands, like she knows he’ll have the best connection with her

Callum’s tears as he reminds Rayla that Runaan killed Harrow, he’s trying to move on, but it hurts

Rayla’s self-soothing behavior when she has her second nightmare in the book--she must have these most every night :((((

the big symbol on the Moon Temple doors looks like a stylized Moon staff, like it’s a building for mages

Lujanne saying Rayla might not want or need the truth right after Callum mentions Runaan’s name to her, he sassily asks about her husbands and she turns it into a compliment

Callum’s big reaction to the moon opals is adorable. The only other one he’s seen was part of a pair of treasured gifts between long-time spouses, so it kinda looks like he’s all “uhh we just started dating”

also Ethari must’ve made cute metal swirly covers for the pair he and Runaan wore, since these two are undecorated--maybe he got his from Lujanne?

listen Lujanne is a hoot and all but she’s both an ally and an antagonist. Her actions are trustworthy but her advice is generally terrible. It’s an interesting parallel to how Runaan says a lot with his actions too, but he talks a lot less than Lujanne

Rayla yeeting herself into a fight just to ask Soren for a talk is 10/10 Moonshadow assassin goals

but her hood is up when she’s lurking in the trees--she might not have known where she’d find Soren and was anticipating something less fun on the feels-o-meter

Rayla in the mud again. Soren keeps making people fall in the mud

Allen’s grumpy squiggle

Callum, I love you, but you have no respect for moon opals. It’s like they wronged you in a previous life or something

that dancing elf has very long hair and shoulder pauldrons, and they start off dancing with six kneeling, watching, hooded elves around them--Moon Druids wore hoods even before they were assassins. Considering what Lujanne said about why the portal was sometimes opened, maybe those six kneeling elves are waiting under their emotion-hiding hoods to farewell a loved one who’s recently died?

can’t tell for sure but maybe the elf is dancing along the lines in the stone like they mark patterns for ritual dances, which would be the bomb

Soren and Rayla’s conversation is pretty wrenching. Seeing Soren have to struggle with what he did because it’s tangled up with Viren is rough because as a Crownguard it should just have been his duty to defend his king and he’d have nothing to feel weird about

Rayla dissociating herself from the term “assassins” and Soren dissociating from calling Viren “my father” in the same conversation is 10/10 excellent growth

Soren must know what happens to prisoners his dad gets a hold of, even if he doesn’t know the details :(((

“we captured him” and “Viren took him” seem to be talking about the Crownguard and Viren, not the brodigies and Viren

Rayla having a wooden sword at the end of the day bc she played swordfighting with Allen and Soren all day long

the panel where Rayla doesn’t say anything at all after telling Callum that she asked Soren about Runaan actually says so much, you can hear it

every time Lujanne’s white lies idea gets repeated, things get worse

Allen’s reading glasses, there must be one optician in the human village and he caters to soft kindly gentlemen of a certain age

in the moon phase montage, baby Phoe-Phoe is flying next to Ezran after one week at the Nexus. Maybe he’s paying her back by helping her learn to fly after she helped him teach Zym how to fly! Did they bond as tightly as Ezran did with Zym? I support Ezran just bonding with the most powerful flying creatures in all the land.

the irony of Callum using Lujanne’s tactics against her is amazing, but really the white lies thing is a giant ball of chaos in this story and it does not play favorites

Bait on the stone pillar during rebuilding

all the noises the Moonhenge makes are 10/10

Rayla dancing with Callum even though there’s almost no chance she’s ever done that dance before

Lujanne’s pupils going white, that is a cool effect, what’s it mean?

the black moon in the pink sky is so spooky! Is it just me or does the color scheme here kinda vibe like the space outside Aaravos’s library?

the smoky assassin squad, 10/10 creep factor, I love it

the lightning being a literal crack of doom with “CRAK-DOOM” as Katolis Castle appears, “echoes of thunder” indeed, very nice

Lujanne being mad but she can’t decide if it’s at Callum or herself

when she says pulling Rayla out now will leave her soul on one side and her body a husk. After the Insta live stream last night where we learned that soulfang serpents are Moon primal creatures, that’s... super interesting

smoky assassins go tssh in the rain like they’re still hot from being cremated, thanks I hate it

Andromeda finds Rayla first and seems closest/most aggressive so I wonder why she might hate Rayla more than the others

the assassins’ wrist bindings have gone red but they’re still attached and seem to trap the souls where they are. But all they need to be free is to perceive that Rayla completed their task, even though we know otherwise. So... would that work for killing any target? If you’re certain that you did it, does your binding fall off even if you’re wrong? eyes Pip

this must not be the actual afterlife since the spirits kind of mist up toward the moon and vanish, it’s more like a lobby, no one stays here unless they get stuck

portaling around just by shouting at villains, excellent

Rayla literally dropping a sword at the sight of the pod Viren’s in, yeah, it’s that creepy, I agree

Viren’s eyes are so black I think they’re Aaravos’s. I got a whole headcanon on Good Viren and Evil Viren for S4 now, wow

Phoe-Phoe pulling out a feather for Callum, awww my heart! This is why Ezran had to come, to bond with her so together they could save Callum and Rayla, it’s so sweet

so these humans are from the Storm Spire battle, bc that’s the Storm Spire behind Rayla and Callum on p108, with the rune-written arch. Did they die hating Rayla and Callum from the battle? Did they even know Rayla was up there? Or is pod Viren/Aaravos actually making them attack out of hatred for Viren’s death? One of these is definitely creepier and more awesome

Rayla’s confidence that Callum can and will boost her at the right moment with his magic, my heart, I love battle couples

that one panel that mirrors the Ghost Feather key art, hhhhhh

Rayla being the better swimmer, such precious irony, thanks Runaan

them holding hands and swimming upward together on the full-page panel is blessed

Lujanne pulling Rayla out of the lake with both arms gives me feels bc my grandma saved my life once

Lujanne being super soft over Rayllum, she is indeed a hopeless romantic

Rayla says “gone” about her parents and Runaan, and that’s the word Ethari used too, and I’m suddenly wondering if Ethari reached right into that pool and has always known that the lotus is half-submerged and if the sword he’s been making is for himself

I’m so glad Rayla told Callum what she saw of Viren

Rayla deceiving Callum and heading into danger alone because his life is more valuable to her than her own is exactly what Runaan did for her the night of the full moon in Katolis. I’m leaning toward her having thought this over and doing it on purpose bc she believes it’s a sign of deepest love--that Runaan’s actions and Lujanne’s words match up in her head, so she thinks it’s the right thing to do bc the mage and the assassin agree. Alas, Callum doesn’t understand the Moon arcanum yet, so he will have a different opinion. That mage and that assassin do not agree!

Rayla’s cloak has that Moon Temple symbol on its back. Is it Lujanne’s cloak? Any Moonshadow who sees it will probably know where she got it and who helped her. That could be fun!