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dancewithdeath11 · 1 year ago

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When Hangman Met Dolly

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, beefing, sexual themes (no sex tho), some angst but not really, happy ending! Why am doing this to myself, trying second person POV this time around, bit proof read-but also not really.

Word Count: 10.5K

(sorry I wanted to get as many plot points as I could)

2010

Jeez… This blows. You huff, kicking at the pavement as you lean against the truck that you were planning on commuting to Pensacola in. It was a good fourteen hour drive from Annapolis where you attended the Naval Academy. And– unfortunately –where your junior-turning-senior roommate met her “future pilot”, Jake Seresin. They encountered each other at a bar and he swept her off her feet a few months ago. Unfortunately, you and Jake just graduated.

Which means that you are well on your way out of there to where you’ve coincidentally both been stationed in Pensacola, Florida. She swears up and down he is the love of her life. But you could tell. He’s cocky and self assured, like most of the men that graduate from the Naval Academy. He is gonna end up calling her within the next week and break her heart, telling her that long distance is too hard or something and that it’ll be for the best.

Glancing up from your beaten shoes you find them eating eachothers faces, her face shining with tears. Murmuring soft promises to each other, an upside down smile on her naive features as he swears to call her all the time. Reaching into the driver's side window, you press the horn for a long moment. Effectively breaking them out of whatever trance, but you add one more for good measure with a smirk. “We’re behind schedule.” You call, making your roommate- well, ex-roommate, whine as she hugs Jake again.

Jake presses more kisses to her lips making you roll your eyes as you climb into the car and make sure to slam the drivers door harder than necessary. It takes a minute but Jake eventually joins you in the car. Your roommates head popping into Jake's window one last time.

“I’m going to miss you so much…” She swoons, raising a manicured hand to wipe away her tears.

“Me too, baby. I’ll call you when we get down there.” He hums and you have to actively try not rolling your eyes. You reach up and shift the truck into drive, slowly starting to roll forward as she frantically spews out her feelings to Jake, endless I love you’s and call me every day’s. He returns them half-assedly…if that’s even a word? Either way he managed to deliver them that way.

Eventually you roll onto the main road, leaving her on the sidewalk. You hummed as you finally reached the high-way, speeding up to merge with the traffic. “So, what’s the plan, sweetheart?” Jake broke the silence first, reaching to fiddle with the old radio.

You eyed him for a brief moment before focusing on the road again. “We will be driving through the night. I’ve set up a plan so that we get equal time’s driving and have also looked up stops along the high-way so that we can shift.” You explained proudly, always taking pride in your way to plan ahead of things. But he only scoffed and rolled his eyes at you. “What?”

“Driving schedules? Looking up stops on the high-way? I mean-”

“It’s a fourteen hour drive, Seresin!” You cut him off with a scoff of your own. Was he really this dense? A single person driving for seven hours is dangerous, so pushing ten or fourteen is just plain stupid.

“That’s a given, honey.” He nods with a laugh.

“Then surely as a fellow member of the Navy you can see the ethics in having a driving plan for such a long drive!” A pout sets on your lips, brows drawn so tightly together in frustration that there’s a distinguishable crease there even if you’re only in your early 20’s.

He throws his hands up in surrender with a nod. Silently giving in, you’re both now basking in a semi-awkward silence. Shit…

Reaching over you flick on the radio. Last thing you were listening to was Dolly Parton. An old cassette you got from your mom to go with your old truck. Taking a deep breath you listen for a moment before reaching up and rolling back the cassette to start from the beginning. After letting it go again, the beat of “9 to 5” filled in the silence of the truck cab. You only lasted a minute before you started singing along under your breath. Hitting every note with ease after listening to this cassette so many times throughout the years. Eventually, a few songs later, Jake opened up his big mouth again.

You could see him shift his whole body to look at you from where he sat. “You sound beautiful. Almost as good as ol’ Dolly herself.” He drawled, and you could practically hear him smirking as he waited for your reaction. Instead of giving him the reaction he wanted, you just hummed before the chorus came on again and you sang along. A chuckle came from him before he shook his head and shifted back to where he was before.

========

Shaking your head, Jake laughs in disbelief. “No way are you going for Victor over Rick! You’re choosing a passionless, sex-less relationship? You’re choosing that over the best sex of your life? Because he owns a bar in Casablanca and that’s all he does?” He pulls into the diner parking lot and puts the truck into park. The two of you stop to look at each other as you think it over for a moment.

“Yeah. Yeah! It’s a matter of sensibility. Victor is the stable choice, and any other woman would say the same.” A smile crept its way onto your lips. Being with Jake was so easy, and he was genuinely a funny guy. Too bad he’s going with your girlfriend right now, you can see the charm she was talking about.

“Oh…I see! I get it now!” He nods, licking his lips as he pushes open his door. Hopping out and slamming it just as I’m getting out as well.

“What? What are you saying?”

“No, just forget about it.” He shrugged as both of you walked up to the small roadside restaurant. It was cute, but clearly busy. You silently hope that you’ll get in smoothly and get back on the road as soon as possible.

Frowning you follow him closely up the steps. “No, I wanna know!” He paused as he was pulling open the door.

“If you’re picking the boring relationship over the best sex of your life. Then that just means that you haven't had good sex.” He shrugged and walked inside, “Two, please.” The waitress nods and directs us to a table.

But you could not believe that he would say something like that so blatantly. “Excuse me, for the record, I have had plenty of good sex.” You scoff out, without thinking. The once bustling diner fell silent for a moment. Their eyes trained on you in confusion causing you to flush with embarrassment. Taking a deep breath you look down, avoiding their gazes as you go take a seat with Jake.

“Okay, then who have you had all this–incredible–sex with?” His brows raise as he puts his hands on the table expectantly.

Your mouth opens to respond without thinking only to shut again. Brows furrowing as you cross your arms and lean back, “I don’t have to tell you, that’s private.” He hums and nods. For some reason that response rubs you wrong. Like he’s telling you straight to your face that he doesn’t believe you. “Barry, Barry Stevenson.” You nod, thinking back to the last romp you had. Was it great, no…But it was still something.

“Barry? No.” Jake stated as he leaned back in his seat. “No, you did not have great sex with a Barry.”

What is with this guy?

“And why not? Who are you to say something like that?”

“It’s all in the name,” He rubs his chin, “Barry is not the name of a guy who is good at sex. Barry can help you with your finances. But he isn’t good at sex. I mean, come on! ‘Give it to me, Barry.’ ‘Ride me, Barry.’” With his brows raised, a smirk comes onto his thin lips. Cocky as ever as he shrugs his shoulders. Head tilted back, a sigh leaves your lips. I still have another eight hours with this guy…You think to yourself. Luckily the moment is saved as a waitress comes over asking for our order. “Yeah, I’ll have a number three, thanks.”

“Uhmm, can I have a cheeseburger? Everything on it. And can you please put the pickles on the side, and no tomatoes. Then I’d like a blackberry pie, heated up with ice cream on the side, not on top. And if you have chocolate can I have that instead of vanilla? Then whipped cream on top, but only if it's real. If it’s from the can, I don’t want it. Please and thank you…” You glanced up at the waitress again, she gave a slightly confused look before nodding and writing it down.

A small chuckle left her as she got ready to leave. “Whatever you say,” She said to me as she pocketed her notepad. Then she spared a look to Jake, “You, mister, got yourself a handful.” She laughed, making him laugh along as she left.

“Okay…” He laughed before turning serious again and looked back at you. “What the heck was that?”

Your brows creased together, “What?”

“The on the side and only ifs or whatever!” He shook his head as he vaguely gestured behind him. Towards where the waitress had disappeared. “You took a solid minute to order a burger and pie.” The blonde tapped at his watch with a disbelieving smile on his face.

Shaking your head a smile forms on your lips. His natural charm and teasing getting to you after having driven for hours with him. Now on your designated break to get dinner. You roll your eyes and start up a different topic. You filled in the good fifteen minutes of waiting for our burgers with talk about places you’ve looked for in Pensacola due to the rumors of the current bunks being horrible and constantly in need of maintenance. Going into detail about your favorite place you’ve found on a new house listing website you stumbled upon. But eventually the food came and you ate it up as quickly as you could. Wanting to get back on the road as soon as possible. Jake just huffed as you encouraged him to eat a little faster than his single fry at a time without even touching his sandwich yet.

You picked up the bill when it came around, and Jake munched on his sandwich. So you took the time to calculate what percent of the tip you owed alongside your meal. Humming in satisfaction as you grabbed the dollars from your purse and laid aside the tip.

“Y’know, you’re actually very attractive.”

“Oh…” You swallow, “Thank you?”

“Stella never told me how attractive you were.”

You what now?

“A-Are you flirting with me right now?” You scoffed as you looked up at him like he was nuts.

“I’m just saying you’re extremely good looking.” He offered a sly smile that had a hidden meaning behind it, you didn’t want to look too far into. Rolling your eyes at him you stood up and collected your things. “Hey- what’d I say!” The man laughed as he quickly pulled out his assumed amount of cash and slapped it on the table before following you out to the truck. Half a sandwich clutched in his hand as he ate it while he walked.

Pausing at the end of the steps you turned and pointed to him, “You’re dating my friend! And now you’re coming on me!” A groan leaves you as you spin back around and go to the truck.

“Listen-” He jogs up to the driver's side of the truck. Going around the back of the truck to avoid him, you end up on the passenger's side. “You can’t deny that you are very attractive-”

You cut him short again, “You’re dating Stella right now! You are in a relationship. Can’t we just be friends?” Pulling open the passenger’s door and tossing your purse in carelessly.

“Friends?” He gets into the driver's seat. You follow suit and get into the truck.

“Yes. Just friends.”

“Nope.”

Another scoff leaves you as he puts the truck into reverse, starting his shift behind the wheel. “What do you mean, nope? Men and women can be friends, y’know? It’s 2010, catch up with the times.” You gesture with your hand in exasperation. Men can be so complicated at times.

“No, they can’t, Darlin’.” Pursing your lips you glare over at him. Leaving you hanging with no further elaboration. And he knows this pisses you off ever so slightly. He learned this early on in the trip. You can’t stand not knowing.

In a monotone, sarcastic way you bite the bait. “Oh please, elaborate…” A deep sigh leaves you as you wait for whatever stupid guy excuse he’s gonna give.

He hums in appreciation as he spares a glance your way. “I mean this in the plainest way possible, and this is not me coming on you in any way, shape or form. But men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” Jake finished, plain and simple, as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole goddamn world.

“No, no! You’re wrong, I have plenty of male friends.” You state, as if proving him wrong with those words alone. A small smile on your features as you think you’ve gotten him beat.

But he was quick to argue. “Okay. Maybe one or two are okay. But as I said before, you’re attractive. They may be your friend, but they will never be a real friend because they most likely want to have sex with you. The second you let your guard down- let’s see… you have a gnarly break up? After you tell them, do you ever notice how they’re always there?” He lets that linger for a moment. And you let it sink in. No…that can’t be right, right? This jackass can’t possibly be right. “Exactly.”

A thought comes to mind, “So if a guy thinks a girl is unattractive, then they can be friends. Because he doesn’t want to have sex with her then, right?” You counter.

“Nope…pretty much want to nail them too.” Jake nods with his bottom lip jutted out in thought. A frustrated huff escapes your lips. Slouching in your seat as you mull this over. Thinking of all the times you thought a guy who was just your friend seemed a little too chummy.

“So we can’t just be friends?” You ponder to him. This causes a brief silence to ensue as he now takes a moment to think about it.

He shook his head, “Nope. Not really, anyways.”

“That’s too bad,” You exclaim, taking in a deep breath before releasing it in a sigh. “You were gonna be the only person I knew in Pensacola.” Looking over you take in his side profile. He didn’t look half bad, only downside is that massive ego that is bigger than Texas. Makes sense, he’s a strong Texan man anyways. Coming right from the heart of Austin, Texas. A fact he has bragged about so many times when he came over to pick up Stella.

“Yeah…That’s too bad. Because I am a delight to be around.” He smirks as he looks over at you. It was so cocky and on brand of him, you couldn’t help but suppress a grin before turning away to look out of the window. Watching the dark landscape zipping past.

========

“Well, this is it! See you around, and have a nice life if I don’t…” You smiled brightly as you stood on the curb out front of the barracks that Jake is meant to stay in.

It was unfortunate, but you couldn’t help but find it a bit funny that a guy like Jake Seresin is being reduced to the confines of having a bunk buddy. However, you doubt that’ll stop him from bringing a girl back. Jake hummed as he swung his bag over his shoulder. Far less than what you’d brought to fill in your potential home off base. The chance of running into Jake dropping significantly from just living off base in a bungalow rather than having another roommate for who knows how long. You were itching to find the right place and live alone for once. “Yeah…Yeah, I’ll see around Dolly.” He gives a little finger salute before turning on his heels to walk into the bustling barracks.

“Dolly?” You laughed as you covered the sun with your hand, trying to catch another glimpse at the future aviator as he walked further away still.

He turned and continued a slow pace backwards. “Yeah! Cause you sound just like her.” He winked before spinning back around and giving a dramatic wave over his shoulder without looking. As if telling you not to say anything more. That he was going to have the last word.

2013

The task was easy, relatively. Being freshly stationed in Oak Harbor, Washington was nice. It was a good base, and you needed a change of pace anyways. Especially from where you were stationed as a mechanical engineer on a next gen fighter jet. The job itself wasn’t half bad, it was just out of your element.

But here, you were right where you belonged. Working on something familiar…

Only issue…it was like moving schools. You were the new kid. A feeling you always dreaded when coming around to a new base. So as you approach mess, you hope and pray you’ll recognize someone. Either a face from when you were showed around or-

“Hey! Are you that new engineer? For the EA-18G’s?” A woman called. Looking over, you’re met with a stunning woman, still clad in her flight suit. Her hair is a mess and she’s looking at you expectantly.

Blinking a few times you nodded, a smile curling onto her lips making you smile in return. “Yeah! Yeah, that’s me.” You offer her your hand to shake. She quickly wipes off her palm on her pant leg before reciprocating the gesture. Giving a firm handshake before she nods towards the free seat beside her. “Thanks…”

Taking a seat, you pull out your home packed lunch. Having never grown out of living by yourself after getting that first taste of freedom.So you would regularly take advantage of the small kitchen, making lunch in whichever apartment you were renting out for the duration of being stationed wherever you were. “Lieutenant Natasha Trace, but my callsign is Phoenix.” The woman offered. So you smiled and gave her your name in return. But just as you finished you spotted a tall blonde you were not expecting to see. He looked away in such a suspicious way that he must’ve been looking at you before you spotted him. Natasha must’ve noticed the way your face filled with disbelief as she quickly glanced over her shoulder. Coming back to meet your gaze as she rose a brow in confusion. “What? Recognize someone?”

“You can’t be serious…” You muttered under your breath as Jake glanced your way, meeting your gaze. You quickly look back at Natasha. “Yeah, yeah. Something like that.” You squeak as you try to hide your face. Resting your thumb to your temple and leaning your elbow on the table. Your fingers shadowing your face from the bright lights. Doing relatively nothing to hide you since Jake had already locked on.

Even if he’s fast in a jet, he is slow to recognize a face. On his end he was taking a minute. When he glanced back your way to get a second look and met your surprised gaze it clicked for him. A smirk creeped onto his thin lips as he turned to put down his things next to his friend Coyote.

“Who is it?” She asked, genuine curiosity filling her face.

Taking a deep breath, you leaned in closer, “Okay, so after graduating from the academy three or so years ago, I had to get my truck down to Pensacola. My roommate's boyfriend was also being stationed there, so my roommate begged me to give him a ride down. Worst fourteen hours of my life.” You groaned at the memory.

“That’s horrible, why would your roommate do that to you?” Natasha chuckled and you shrugged in exasperation.

“Yeah, and then he tried to flirt with me, but of course, he was still with my friend. So I told him off about it and offered that we can be friends instead. Because he was still a great guy: funny, charismatic, all that stuff. But he said that we can’t. So I asked him why. He said that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Or something like that…? Either way, I’ve never had a good male friend ever since.” You finish your hushed rant, looking up to try and find him but not finding him there. Great, you think, maybe he left? Just about to spill more about the man to your new friend, hoping that he won’t come over.

But the dream of him not coming over was crushed as he approached with purpose. Like he knew exactly what he was walking into. Like he knew it was him that was being talked about, and took it as an ego boost. “Dolly–I’ll be damned–it is you.” He hummed as he clicked his tongue, his hands falling on his slim hips.

He’d definitely gotten broader over the years. His face is still stupidly perfect, other than the fine smile lines coming in. Why does such a handsome man have to have such a cocky, egotistical, arrogant, jackass attached to it?

“Jake. Still alive?” You rebutted with a slight glare.

He just laughed it off and crossed his arms over his chest, “Alive and better than ever.”

All while you and Jake were staring each other down, Natasha was watching this all unfold. “Hangman? This is who you got stuck with for fourteen hours? I’m so sorry.” The brunette said, ignoring the blonde standing there like it was her job. It was clear to you that she and Jake most likely know each other pretty well. Have probably flown together on a few dozen hops together depending on how long they’ve been stationed here together. “Also, why did you call her Dolly? That isn’t her name.” Natasha finally directed her attention to Jake. It was a form of confusion for her, but it also doubled as her defending you. Which was sweet since you literally just met her.

“Because she sings a lot of Dolly Parton, sounds just like her in my opinion. She probably played that Dolly Parton cassette twice over during our little road trip.” The pilot smirked as he took a seat from another table and placed it almost between you and Natasha. “Figured the nickname suited her.” He nodded as you rolled your eyes, cheeks flushing at the memory of playing the whole cassette more than once.

The blonde looks at you, but it isn’t in an expectant kind of way. It was like he was studying you. Trying to get a read on how much his comment affected you. But that wasn’t actually what he was doing. Jake was just taking you in. Seeing that you still had that line between your brows when you looked at him like he was crazy. That you still had worry lines on your forehead from being an overachieving worker, much like himself. He looked away from your face and towards the table where a nicely laid out home-packed meal was. Still the same, Jake thought to himself. Taking in how you separated certain things from your sandwich and had your little snacks bagged to keep them from getting condensation on them from your cold drink you probably put in the freezer last night to keep it cooler throughout the day.

“But how’ve you been Dolly?” Jake asked, sincerely and with interest.

You were slightly caught off guard with his sudden interest in how you were doing. “I’m good…Just got transferred here this past weekend.” A small smile creeping onto your lips as you fiddle with the hem of your pants. “How about you, Hangman?” You return the question with a small smirk, using his newly discovered callsign.

“Good…I’ve been good.” He hums before tapping his hand on the table, “Uhmm, how’s, uhhh…” The man hesitated. Clearly trying to remember someone. It clicked, making you almost laugh in his face.

“Stella?”

“Yeah! Stella Rogers.”

“Roberts.”

“Right, that’s what I said. How has she been?” Jake asked with a raised brow.

You gazed right back at him, an unimpressed look settling on your features. Lifting your shoulders in a shrug, truthfully responding to him, “I wouldn’t know, I haven’t talked to her in a few years.”

Jake hummed again as he nodded. A common response for him. “You guys used to be really tight, what happened there?”

Another shrug from you. “Stuff happens. We just drifted apart.”

Poor Phoenix had to sit through the tension after your words. Neither of you know what to say next. Sparing a glance to the woman just past Jake, you try to communicate that you don’t know what to say. That you were a little lost and needed an out. She took in a deep breath and nodded, getting up with a screech of her chair. “C’mon, I’ll show you what was wrong with my jet.” She said, matter of factly.

Quickly you pack up your lunch that remained untouched from when you unpacked it only ten minutes before, “Yeah! I’m sure I can get it fixed in no time.” You smile and get up, turning to Jake with a smile. “See you around, I guess.”

“That’s gonna be a hard one.” Your brows furrowed in confusion at his muttered words.

Pausing as you tilt your head, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, I’m getting transferred out this weekend.”

“Oh…” That’s only three days from now. This was a mere chance meeting. How ironic is that?

“Maybe we could go out to dinner tonight? As friends.” He added quickly at the end. As if he recalled his whole men and women can’t be friends thing from three years ago. But you just shook your head.

“No, uhm, I’m going out with my boyfriend, Ross, tonight…” You admit, and he hums with a smile. Muttering a small good for you. “Well, if I don’t see you around base…have a nice life.”

“Yeah…You too, Dolly.”

2016

“Alright, and this is the head mechanic for the Dagger Squad. Callsign, Dolly. She’s the best, and I asked for her personally with what limited power I have over this mission.” You heard the familiar voice call. Smirking as you turned around and were faced with more than one familiar face. Sighing out as you lock eyes with a particular set of green eyes.

“Dolly!” Phoenix called out with a smile, “You didn’t tell me you were Stateside!” The woman laughed as she jogged over to you. The rest of the squad follow suit in order to properly meet you.

With a bashful grin you hugged her when she made it over, the both of you managing to keep in contact after being stationed in Washington. “It’s good to see you too, Phe…” You hummed as the two of you swayed a little. Pulling back you moved onto the other familiar faces. “Rooster, good to see you again.” You pat the man's arm as you pass him up to go and hug Bob. One of your closest male friends that you’ve managed to keep in touch with. He’s always been respectful, but not straight out avoidant. “Bobby!”

“Hi!” He chuckles as he takes you into his arms. Funny enough, you were just stationed in Lemoore with him, before you were transferred here. Only a few days before him, actually. He presses a soft peck to your hair as you squeeze his waist. “We only saw each other a few days ago, y’know?” He says matter-of-factly.

Shaking your head again, you just chuckle. “Well, I thought I’d never see you again. Except for Christmas, because you promised. Actually, your mother promised.” You hummed as you patted his arm as you pulled away. It was quite a funny story that was kept between the two of you. Pulling away, you nod to Maverick with a smile. Having already had your bout of excitement with seeing him again when you first arrived in San Diego.

You exchange some pleasantries with the other Dagger pilots before you’re met with Jake. Gazing up at him with a sigh as you approach him. “So, you’re still alive, Hangman?” You remember saying something along those lines last time you encountered him.

Clearly, he remembers too. A small chuckle leaving him as he takes you in once again. Just like he did last time. To Jake, you looked better than ever. The same…but somehow better. Almost as if you haven’t aged a day since he last saw you. Only thing that’s really changed is your hair. But it’s hard to tell, your hair being in some kind of up-do you most likely did out of frustration of it being in your way while working. Your cheek has a smear of some kind of fluid, probably grease, that he also took note of on the back of your hand. He smirks, “Yeah, alive and better than ever, Dolly.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I see the callsign stuck.”

You chuckled lightly, nodding to him as you put your hands on your hips. “Yeah…I made the mistake of going to Karaoke night.”

He nods, about to open his mouth to talk about something else when the squad was being called to the next area. “Say, let’s catch a drink at the Hard Deck. You can bring your boyfriend, uhm, R-Ray…?” Jake stumbled over the name, causing me to chuckle lightly.

“Ross?”

“Right, that’s what I said. I just want to catch up…promise.” He offered again. Walking backwards to try and stay with his group. Coyote laughing at his friend.

“Ross and I broke up a bit ago…But, sure. Drinks would be nice. My shift ends at eighteen hundred.” You said as you watched him continue to shuffle along slower than his group.

“Great! Great, meet me there at twenty-one-hundred?” You nod to his words and he smirks. Waving to you before he takes off in a light jog to catch up with his group.

========

“So basically, we broke up because we wanted two completely different things.” You frown into your drink, shaking your head as you recall your last conversation with your ex only a month ago. “We always used to say that we were so lucky we never moved as fast as our friends. Our friends that got married in a year, or our newer friends who had seven year olds. Because, you know what they say about kids…that it totally kills your sex life. At least, that's what all of my friends with kids tell me- well, my one friend. My friend Lucy…She said it so casually like it was such a widely known thing.” You sighed and shook your head.

“Yeah, I think I can see that…” Jake said, making me nod along with his words.

“But the main thing was that we always said to each other that we were so lucky. So lucky that we didn’t have kids to tie us down. To stop us from flying t-to Greece for a week on a whim, or having sex on the kitchen floor!” A soft laugh leaves the both of you, taking a long drink from your drink before you speak again. “The problem was that we never did that. No spontaneous trips…no kitchen sex. And when we talked it out and we established that we wanted different things, and called it off. A-and I’m not even sad about it. Four years of my life, gone, and I’m totally fine.” You nodded almost too much, as if trying to convince yourself that you were over your ex-boyfriend.

“Yeah, you seem totally healthy right now.” Jake nods with a small smile on his face. The Hard Deck is bustling with life. Not as many khakis tonight as you’d expect for a Navy bar. But I knew that there were maybe one or two members of the Dagger squad here, besides Jake. Then some random Top Gun students, navy staff, and what you can only assume as usual locals.

For some reason it hit you all at once that Jake has been the one asking questions all night. That he didn’t seem to mind listening to you rant about your ex-boyfriend. He was listening, like a good friend and never prompted himself. “God- Jake, I’m so sorry. I haven’t been asking you any questions! How’s the love life on your end?” You asked quickly, setting your drink down and situating yourself to be more alert. To make it look like you were actively listening to him.

The pilot puffed his cheeks out and shook his head a little. “Man, I was in a relationship too until recently. She was apparently, uhm, cheating on me. Said she doesn’t think she ever loved me…It- It was rough.” He said with an awkward cough. As if trying to cover up the fact that he was in a relationship like that. One sided that ended in betrayal.

“God- Jake, so sorry to hear about that. That must’ve been rough…” Reaching out, you place your hand over his in a comforting kind of way. Offering a soft smile when he looks up to meet my gaze. “If you ever need to talk, I’m willing to listen.”

His eyes narrowed at me, “Are we becoming friends right now?” Jake asked in a hesitant voice.

That made you think for a moment. Recalling his words from before. But it was also sweet. He seemed genuine while asking. And you could feel it too. “Yeah, I think we are..”

========

“What do you mean you’re just friends with Dolly?” Rooster inquired while he sat with Jake. The two of them have decided to go to the batting cages for the day for fun.

It’d been a rough few weeks and now they were being offered a permanent position at Top Gun. After Jake saved Mav and Rooster the day of the Uranium Mission, the two pilots decided to let by-gones be by-gones and became friends. Both of them found out they played a little baseball in high school and decided to hit up the cages on a free weekend.

Eventually, Dolly became a topic for the pair of aviators. “Yeah? What’s wrong with that? It’s…nice.” Jake shrugged while taking a sip of beer as they took a break from batting in the San Diego heat.

“It’s nice? Are you shitting me!” Rooster scoffed a laugh, “You’ve got such a babe hanging off your arm on the daily at work. And you’re just shooting the shit? Having movie-takeout-nights at each other's places, and you’re not together or hooking up?” The mustached man took off his sunglasses as if to accentuate a point. But Jake just nodded along.

Jake really saw nothing wrong with it. He knew what he said almost six years ago to Dolly. It became a laughing point now for the two of them. But other than that he saw not a single thing wrong with their relationship. “I’m not shitting you, this is probably the first female friend I’ve had in my whole life that I don’t want to have sex with. I feel like I’m growing as a person. I can talk to her about things and get another opinion on them that I normally wouldn’t hear.” Jake smirks to his friend. But he only gets a brow raise in response. As if it wasn’t as great a feat as he made it out to be. “Oh! Come off of it Rooster! Name one female friend you’ve had that you didn’t want to nail at some point!” The blonde barked out a laugh.

Rooster tried to sputter out a response, slightly embarrassed by Jake’s brashness in such a public setting. However, it occurred to Rooster that he always had that thought. Fleeting at best before finding out they were in a relationship or weren’t interested in him. At that, Rooster pouted and slouched in his seat.

“Exactly.”

July, 2017

Jake was lounging on the couch, watching a random program on his TV when he got the call. He let his phone ring for a moment on the coffee table before he caught the name on his screen. A small smile turned up his lips when he picked it up. “Hey Dolly, why are you calling so late?”

“I’m so-sorry for calling so late. C-Can you come over? Please?” Your voice came out hiccupped and weak. Clearly upset by something and in desperate need of comfort. It made Jake immediately more alert, but he played it off.

“Yeah, I can come over.” He was already slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys.

“Tha-thanks-”

A quick drive later and Jake was knocking on your door. Impatiently staring at the wood as he bounced on the balls of his feet. Some shuffling was heard on the other side of the door before it opened to reveal your blotchy face and tearful eyes. “Hey Dolly…” He muttered softly as he let himself inside. Closing the door softly as he looks down on you with a small smile. “What is it?” Jake asked as he placed a hand on your lower back and guided you to your kitchen. It was a simple move but it made you feel so much better. Distracting you until you remembered why you called Jake over.

“He’s getting married- can you believe that!” You laughed wetly. A sob breaking past your wobbly lips as more tears spilled down your cheeks. “I need tissues…” Jake was currently moving around your kitchen collecting the makings for tea. In particular chamomile and ginger tea. Something you’d always have when you’re sick.

Jake's brows furrowed in confusion. He grabbed a random box of tissues from the counter and set them in front of you. “Who’s getting married?”

You had the audacity to scoff as him, “Ross!”

That was a name Jake hadn’t heard in a minute. But after you raised your brows at him expectantly, awaiting his reaction, that’s when he remembered. “Oh-” That was good enough for you to talk again.

“Can you believe that! H-He just called and said that he was getting married! To some secretary he met three months ago!” You blubbered, Jake quickly moving to comfort you. Setting down whatever he’d collected to take you into his strong arms. “He didn’t not want to get married- the truth was that he just didn’t want to marry me.. He didn’t love me.”

“If you could take him back right now, would you?”

You shook your head as you took a tissue and wiped your face again. Frowning deeply as you stared blankly at the table. “No…it’s just-” Another hiccup, “Why didn't he want to marry me?” You replied shortly as you got up and walked towards your room. Your fluffy baby pink robe swaying along with you as you rushed to your sanctuary. Jake was quick to trail after you. Watching with a small smile as you threw yourself onto your bed dramatically. Curling up with all of your fluffy blankets and cushy pillows. “What’s wrong with me?” Jake crawled onto the bed and laid down facing you. Gently brush some hair from your forehead.

“Nothing.” Jake murmured.

“I’m difficult.”

“You’re challenging.” He countered affectionately.

“I’m too structured and I’m completely closed off.”

“In a good way.”

You sat up in a huff. He followed with a soft touch before you turned to him with a pout. “Can you hold me? Pl-please…?”

Without another word he pulls you into a soft hug that has you hiding your face in his neck. He smelled like peppermint and cinnamon. A smell you’d come to love and find comfort in while hanging out with Jake over the past year. Talking about everything and nothing on those quiet nights where you had nothing better to do. Or the nights when the Hard Deck was so crowded it forced you two closer together than friends would normally stand. On those nights his hand would find your waist to keep you from falling if a sailor vying to the bar accidentally knocked into you.

He tried to pull back but you didn’t want him to leave just yet. You wanted to be with him a little longer. For him to pull you against him tighter. So, when he pulled back enough for you to see his face, you whined pitifully. Hands going to his shoulders to keep him from going too far. “Just a little longer?” You whispered hopefully.

He hummed and pressed a soft peck to your lips before pulling you into his chest again. The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled back again. “You feelin’ better?” Jake asked softly. You only murmured some response that you weren’t even really paying attention to as you kept stealing glances at his lips. Blinking rapidly as you realized what you were doing and looking back up to his soft green eyes. Only for him to look right back at you. No doubt as if to say that he saw you looking at him like that.

That’s when he pressed another soft kiss to your lips.

It was longer, not as fleeting as the one before that could’ve been passed off as friendly. This one had something behind it. Whether that was built up sexual tension or love was debatable for both parties. One kiss turned into two…then four, then…

========

“Mmmm…” You shifted in the bed, rolling over with a smile as you slowly woke up. Only to be startled out of that blissful morning state with the clank of a buckle and the rustling of clothes. Sitting up with your white sheets clutched to your chest you found Jake getting dressed. “Where are you going?”

Jake looked up from where he was putting on his jacket. “I gotta go home, get changed, then go to work. And you have to get up and also go to work soon.” He grunted out as he slipped on his shoes. You pouted over so slightly as your brows drew up in a silent mix of frustration and confusion. Why did this piss you off? Why are you feeling pissed off? It’s a reasonable excuse to leave- “Let's go out to dinner tonight, seven work for you?”

Looking up you are met with Jake standing right next to the bed. Looking down on you expectantly. “Y-Yeah…Seven works.”

“Great..” He muttered as he leaned down and pressed a quick peck to your hair before turning to leave again. “I’ll text you the details later today.” And with that he was gone. The two of you were quick to call up one of the dagger squad members. Conveniently enough, those members happened to like their gym mornings. So what Hangman and Dolly did last night became the topic of the gym between Phoenix, Rooster, Bob, and Coyote.

=========

Your anxiety was through the roof as you tried to debate on what to do. Honestly, you didn’t know how you felt about Jake. He was nice and funny, and the last person I wanted to talk to at the end of the day. But you guys were friends. You couldn’t let one night ruin your friendship…

So you decided you would say it first. All while you were getting ready for dinner that night after work you kept rehearsing the words in your head. It was somehow worse that you didn’t see anyone throughout the day either. Being stuck in an office where you barely got any work done as all you could do was think about Jake.

When you were safely at home and getting ready you kept saying the words to yourself. The words that you would say to Jake.

It was a mistake.

As soon as the waitress left you practically blurted, “It was a mistake.”

An uneasy smile on your red lips as you wring your hands in your lap anxiously. Hoping and praying that he would just let it lie. He nodded, “Thank god- Yeah, it was a mistake.” He chuckled wearily and took a sip of his wine.

“Yeah, a complete mistake.” Just as you finished, you took another sip of wine. Soon enough silence fell over the table. People chattering besides and around you. However, the silence that fell over your table was almost uncomfortable. A feeling you haven’t felt for a while with Jake. The two of you are saved by the delivery of your appetizers salads. Quietly you eat, eventually catching eachothers eyes in small fleeting moments.

“That’s what I like about us. It’s just so nice to have a meal and not talk.” Jake suddenly said before stuffing more salad in his face.

========

August, 2017

It was a beautiful ceremony and now an astonishing reception for Penny and Mavericks' wedding. Right now Penny and Mav were having their first dance. It was slow and to some older song they used to jam to when they were in their younger years.

The ceremony took place on the beach out back of the Hard Deck, simple but so on brand. Then they moved half inside, half outside for the reception after. Everyone helped out when asked to help decorate the Navy bar for the reception.

You were so happy for them.

But you also couldn’t help but feel down in the dumps. Having felt so lonely lately. Actively avoiding Jake aside from work encounters that wouldn’t exactly count. After…that night you only hung out alone one other time and it killed you so much that you decided to either make an excuse to get out of the next ones or invite someone along. Apparently Jake had the same idea. Only having us together on group outings and sticking with Rooster or Coyote most of the time. All while you sidled up with Phoenix and Bob just the same.

So imagine your surprise when Jake comes around.

“Beautiful ceremony.” He said with a small smile. You only hum in response, making his smile fall as he steps in front of me. Not giving me the option to look away without being outright mean. Something you didn’t like doing. Something Jake knew and was now taking advantage of. So you met his piercing green eyes with a heated glare. “What’s up with you, I thought we agreed it was a mistake. You’re still acting like I kicked your puppy or something.” Jake asked with a little too much amusement than you would’ve appreciated.

You scoffed and turned away from him. Not wanting to get into it in the middle of the reception. Turning back to look at him only to find him just where you left him. So you waved him along before spinning on your heels and weaving through the crowd towards the parking lot. Pushing your way outside, you ended up pacing for a moment before Jake came outside. “What are you insinuating, Jake?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m saying that you’re avoiding me. What happened, we agreed it was a mistake, I don’t see why you’re dragging this out.” Jake shrugged.

“What- It just happened!”

“Three weeks ago!” A low groan emanated from you as you tried to keep back your frustration with the subject. “You know how one year to humans is like seven years to a dog?” He asked, his hand coming up to his face. Forefinger and thumb rubbing along his chin in thought.

Your brows pinched together at his words. “And who’s the dog in this situation?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You need me to paint a picture for you?” He threw back cockily.

“Me? I’m- I’m the dog!”

“Yes! Why can’t you just get over it!”

Hot tears welled up in your eyes as you snapped right back at him, “You wanna act like what happened didn’t mean anything!”

“I’m not saying it didn’t mean anything. I’m saying, why does it have to mean everything?”

“Because it does.” The build up of tears fell over. Streaking down your flushed cheeks as you stared up at him in disbelief.

“What-” He puffed a soft laugh, “What was I supposed to do? You were looking up at me with those sad puppy eyes, asking me to hold you a little longer-”

“What! So it’s my fault, you had sex with me, because- what? You felt sorry for me!” You raised your voice at him. Flushed with anger as you put together what he was saying.

“Dolly-”

Without thinking you slapped him. “Fuck you!” You stormed back inside to go say goodbye to the new couple and take your leave. What is up with him? You thought it was more than that. That what happened would mean more. But apparently to him, it was just a pity fuck. Wiping your tears as you walked you made your way over to your things. Grabbing your phone out of your purse, using the camera to fix yourself before you slung your bag over your shoulder. Ready to go say goodbye to Penny and Mav.

“Dolly, please-” Jake appeared by your side again.

“Hangman-”

“-And we’d like to thank Hangman for saving Rooster and I merely a year ago. Then of course our head engineer, Dolly. A vital part of our team from the ground. Both of which have been such a help over the past six months with the wedding. Going above and beyond to calm both Penny and I down whenever we got stressed over the wedding. Of course, so have the rest of the Dagger squad. But damn it. Hangman and Dolly as a team- downright unstoppable. So thanks to the both of you as well.” The two of you paused as heads turned your way. Smiles being flashed your way as you and Jake stood dumbfounded at the sudden thank you from Maverick.

Sucking it up, you plant a smile on your face. Nodding and waving shyly before you glance up at Jake. Seeing him already doing the same.

Shit…

========

October, 2017

“-on the line. Call me, call me any, anytime! Call me, I’ll arrive. When you’re ready we can share-”

He’d been singing over the answering machine for a solid minute or so while you got ready. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence now. He’s been ringing your phone off the line after he’d found out you silenced his calls and muted his messages. You couldn’t bring yourself to block his number, on your cell nor the landline. Just in case he really needed to get a hold of you. But right now it’s looking a lot like this. So you caved. “Jake.”

There's a small fumbling on the other line. “Dolly?”

With a deep sigh you ran your fingers through your hair, leaning back against the counter as you held the phone to your ear. “What do you want, Hangman?” You used his callsign. Showing that you really weren’t in the mood. A habit you had before, and one you can’t seem to shake.

“N-Nothing… Just,” He cleared his throat nervously. “Sorry I wasn’t expecting you to pick up…Just- H-How’ve you been?” The pilot managed to get out after a moment of stuttering. Something that is foreign to Jake. And something that’s foreign to you as well, he never seemed to stutter.

“I’ve been okay.”

“Good…that’s good. Umm- so I was thinking that we could maybe go out to dinner…?” He asked with a slight waver in his voice.

You missed him, but you still felt hurt. “Not tonight, I’m just about to head out.”

“Oh- where are you going?”

Shaking your head you sighed at him. “I’m late. Goodnight, Hangman.” You said blandly before hanging up on him. Quickly leaving your apartment to go meet up with Phoenix and Bob.

=========

Hangman was currently taking his time. Taking too long to get ready for the Navy Ball he didn’t even want to attend right now. By the time he would get there it would only be an hour before they started to kick everyone out.

He kept thinking about you.

What went wrong? Why did he say what he said? He cared about you. He cared about you so much it hurt. It hurt that night when he slept with you because right after he felt like he betrayed your trust. He didn’t know if you wanted it right then because you were just hurt by the news of Ross’ wedding. It almost hurt more when he was already halfway out the door when you asked where he was going the morning after. You sounded so heartbroken over him leaving that he wanted to crawl right back into bed with you.

He hurried up his motions to get ready. Knowing that you were at the ball was his only solace as he jammed his socked feet into his dress shoes.

You on the other hand were drained. Your dress felt too tight, the music wasn’t helping your headache. The man droning on in front of you doing nothing to help the headache. You honestly weren’t paying attention to him. Did that make you feel bad, yes. But you were too tired to care.

Suddenly he was laughing and you took a moment to process this before you joined him. Throwing your head back in one of your more believable fake laughs.

You quickly tried to think of an excuse to get away from this guy. Your eyes locked onto a Dagger squad member and you did your best to look surprised. “Sorry, I haven’t seen this person in forever! I’ll see ya later.” You rushed, brushing past the man with a roll of your eyes as you walked over to Fanboy. “Save me.” You whispered quickly.

“What?”

And that was how you ended up dancing with Fanboy for a while before you both retreated to the bar to complain about the choice of music that was blasting through the hall. “Y’know what, I might ditch. I’m so tired…” You drew out as you gave Fanboy a look that told him that you weren’t kidding.

Apparently Penny was on the other side of you. “Oh, c’mon. Have another dance or two. I know Mav has been wanting to dance with you.” She piped up, making you feel bad. Looking back at her you offer an apologetic smile.

“I don’t know, Pen…”

“Just wait, five more minutes. I’m sure he’ll be back around.” She pleaded softly, making your brows furrow as you really contemplated if you should or not. You’re head pounded, completely overwhelmed by the music and people around. If another admiral's wife asked where your husband was you’d lose your shit. Regretfully, you nod. Turning back to Fanboy to pass the time since the two of you were in a discussion about the Star Wars trilogies.

Maverick did come around eventually, his smile brightening ten fold as he saw you. He passed by and greeted Penny with a peck. Tracking the man expectantly, you watched as Penny leaned in to whisper to him quickly. Without a doubt about how you were about to leave.

“Dolly, c’mon. One last dance then I’ll give you a one way ticket out of here. What do you think?” Maverick said as he approached me. Offering me his arm with his ever so friendly grin. Giving the warm feeling a father would as you smiled back. A genuine smile for the first time all night. You let him sweep you into the crowd. A slower song playing allows you and Mav to just sway and talk softly to each other. “Are you okay, Kiddo? You seem down…” He asked.

You sighed and shook your head slowly. “I-I don’t know…” You mumbled before you rested your cheek on his shoulder.

He was silent for another beat before talking again, “Is it because something happened between you and Hangman?” You were quick to pull back and blink up at him in shock. He quietly laughed at my reaction. “There was some hot gossip a few months ago. After that…the two of you seemed distant. Then you seemed to not talk to each other at all after the wedding. Some people said you had a fight.”

Tears filled your eyes before you confirmed with a slow nod. “Yeah…Yeah- we fought.”

A small smile came onto his aged features before he pecked your forehead. “Do you miss him?” Another nod, “Then why didn’t you two try to talk it out?”

“That’s what we did at the wedding…That’s why we stopped talking.” You wiped away your tears as you smiled still. “I don’t know what to do Mav…” Your voice wavered, full of emotion as you looked to the older man for some guidance. Just like you always have since you first met him all those years ago.

“Mind if I cut in?”

Your head whips over to the ever haunting voice. Seeing Jake with red cheeks and his hair windswept. Suddenly Maverick lets you go. “Be my guest.”

“Mav-”

“Dolly.” He responded, it was firm but also playful. A smirk on his lips as he looks to you before sending a slight glare to Hangman before he walks away.

“Dolly…” Looking back up you watch as Hangman stands there. His hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, he was aching to touch you. “C-Can I have this dance with you?” He offered a trembling hand. You looked at how it shook before you looked back up to see Jake pleading silently with his eyes. “Please?”

Wordlessly, you took his hand. Stepping closer, but also keeping a fair distance as you placed your other hand on his shoulder. He cradled your hand in his, his other finding your waist. “Took so long, I thought you wouldn’t show.” You deadpanned as you danced to another slow song. Staring over his shoulder as you refused to meet his gaze. This song was somehow slower than the last.

“I was doing some thinking, and the thing is I love you.” He said all in one breath.

Now that got you to look at him. He didn’t stutter, he wasn’t nervous or lying.

“What?” You gaped in shock.

“I love you.” Jake whispered. To you but almost to himself as well.

Taking in a shaky breath as you licked your lips. Feeling your mouth go dry as you struggle to find the words. “How do you expect me to respond to this?”

“How about you love me too?” He gazed down at you in the most lovesick way you’d ever seen. Never have you seen this with any of his past girlfriends he’s had over the past year or so…

Your heart rate picks up and you exhale sharply. Feeling an urge to run and try and process this all in the comfort of your plush bed. “How about I’m leaving.” You pull away from him and brush past him towards the exit. Brushing past people with small excuse me’s and sorry’s.

“Doesn’t what I just said mean anything to you?” Jake was trailing after you as close as he could without stepping on your dress. You whipped around in the crowded floor to face him.

“I’m sorry, Jake. I know you’re lonely, I’ve been just as lonely. But after everything that happened you can’t just show up here, say sorry, and expect everything to be okay. It doesn’t work that way.” You said in a raised voice. It was part out of desperation to get away, and because of the still bustling party going on around the two of you.

“How does it work then?”

“I don’t know, but not like this.” You shook your head at him. Turning to leave again but he grabbed your wrist gently to prevent you from turning away.

“How about like this? I love that you get cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” He finished with a huff. Shaking his head as he offered a small smile. Waiting patiently for you as you stared at him like he was nuts, that signature little furrow in your brow making that crinkle appear.

Tears welled in your eyes as you scoffed a laugh, “God- That is just like you Hangman. You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you…I hate you. I really hate you.” You let out a small sob as you reached up and wiped your tears again. He smiled slightly before taking your face softly in his large hands.

You smiled as you grasped his wrists to keep him right where he was. “Love you too…” He whispered before pressing his lips to yours. It was a slow but sensual kiss. Filled with nothing but love. It felt like fireworks on New Years Eve. Your chest felt warm and fuzzy as your stomach flipped. Jake had similar feelings. To the both of you, everything was finally right in the world…

Kissing in a crowded room, but the two of you didn’t know any better.

Note: Sorry I’m so late with this, I literally drove six hrs home from college that weekend on a whim so I got loaded with homework early in the week. But here it is now. Plz have mercy on me, this is only a random thing I’ve been wanting to do. I didn’t stick to the plot of When Harry Met Sally too much, but it’s also blindingly obvious. First plotted story that isn’t just smut lol…

Apologies if it's ass

#hangman x you #hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #top gun maverick #tgm fanfiction #fanfic #literallywhydididothistomyself?

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jiminniethemarshmallow · 4 months ago

Text

I Remember pt. 3

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Jimin is insecure and anxious so he does things that don’t make a lot of sense :(

Word Count: ~15,500

(A/N): I don’t usually write angst so bear with me y’all 😭 Also, sorry this took so long, I started taking classes again this year and things got crazy. Hope you enjoy!

Tag: @13-manggaetteok

The sight of Jaebeom at your door makes you sick to your stomach as you realize he’s just seen Jimin standing behind you. But you try to play it off and act casual after slamming the door shut at your back, greeting him as usual.

“Jaebeom! Hi!” Forcing a smile.

“Good morning!” His smile returns and you nearly sigh in relief at his laid back personality.

“So… what brings you here this early in the morning?” You would have liked to sleep in a bit longer, but now you have a situation to deal with before you’re even fully awake, still wiping sleep from your tear ducts.

“Well, I was cleaning out my car and I found your jacket in my backseat so I thought I’d deliver it to you.” He offers it to you with a dramatic bow of the head, presenting it with both hands like it’s an important artifact, and you would have laughed if you weren’t so disturbed by his presence. You’d been avoiding him because you have yet to figure out how to tell him that you no longer want to see him, so this meeting is less than ideal. Especially with Jimin here. “I felt bad that we haven’t been able to see each other these past few weeks and I missed you, so I really just needed an excuse to see you. I hope I’m not intruding on anything.” He finally starts looking bashful as he reaches up to rub his neck, looking back at the closed door behind you where you assume Jimin is still near. Knowing him, he’s probably still standing there trying to eavesdrop on your conversation to see who this mysterious new man is because Jimin just simply cannot ignore drama. Even when it somewhat involves himself.

Catching your wandering thoughts, you feel horrible for having strung Jaebeom along like this. He came here because he missed you. Missed how you used to talk and text almost every day and go on dates. And now it’s practically radio silence from you and he has no idea why. Well, he might have a clue now after seeing the man in your home.

“That’s… really sweet of you Jaebeom.” You can’t find anything else to say. He is intruding if we’re being honest, but you don’t want to give him the wrong impression. But then again, maybe having him think Jimin is here for that type of reason will push him away and he’ll break things off with you first so you don’t have to do it to him.

“So, may I ask who that is?” He gestures past you and you’re surprised by how straightforward he’s being.

Jimin watches from a few windows over, making sure not to press his face to the glass so you and your mysterious visitor can’t see him. Just as you thought, he is far too nosy to pass up watching this interaction. You look very uncomfortable talking to this man, body facing slightly away from him, arms crossed protectively over your front. Your eyes shift back and forth as you shift your weight to your other foot, taking a long time to speak after his last question. Jimin wonders what the man said to you to make you look like this. Were you talking about him? He’s pretty sure he made eye contact with the man when you opened the door so that is completely likely.

Finally, you say something back to him, speaking slowly, and Jimin wishes he could read lips. The man blinks once, twice, swallowing deeply before nodding. His mouth opens like he wants to say something, but it doesn’t seem like he does, closing his lips again and processing your words. You frown at this reaction, facing him head on as you give a lengthy explanation, he assumes. The guy at your door doesn’t say anything for a long while and Jimin can practically feel your anxiety through the walls. Were you telling him about him? Who is this man to you in the first place? Jimin can only assume this is the one you were talking about when you went out to dinner that one night, where you said your relationship wasn’t that serious and you could “drop him” whenever you felt like it. But watching you interact now, it seems that you value his opinion at least a little bit and are maybe a little closer than you let on originally. Jimin’s not sure how to feel about that just yet.

“So that’s Jimin.” Jaebeom trails off. “Is he living with you now?”

“No, he’s not.” You reply stiffly. “He’s-“ For some reason you feel the need to explain yourself to him, even though you’ve determined that him getting the wrong idea would be to your benefit. But you just can’t stop yourself. “We were only hanging out. As friends.”

“As friends.” He repeats, taking in the information and digesting it, processing it with a nod of his head. You can’t decipher what he’s thinking and it’s beginning to frustrate you that he’s so unreadable. Though, you still don’t sense any jealousy from him. He never did come off as the jealous type anyway. He takes a step back from you with a half smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and doesn’t say anything until you question it.

“What’s that look for?” You don’t try to hide your confusion.

“Oh nothing, just looks like I’ve got some competition.” This time there’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he walks away, bidding you farewell with a wave of his hand and commenting that he’ll see you later. You kinda hope he doesn’t see you later because it seems that things just got a little more complicated for you.

Even though Jaebeom didn’t stay long, it feels like that conversation lasted hours. All you want to do is curl up under your sheets and hide from everyone as you try to figure out what to do now. He’s obviously not going to give you up easily it seems but you wonder what he plans to do moving forward. Sighing, you watch as his car drives away from your home before turning around and entering your house again, only to be faced with problem #2. Jimin.

He’s still standing a few steps from the door, not even hiding that he had been watching you talk to Jaebeom, feeling brazen due to his curiosity. You stand there staring at each other for what feels like an eternity, neither of you knowing what to say, until you break the unbearable silence finally.

“I’m guessing you want to know who that was?” Pointing a thumb behind you at the door.

“I mean… you don’t have to tell me anything, it’s your life, you have a right to privacy.” He states, which you find funny because he was just eavesdropping not even seconds ago. You call him out on it.

“Says the person who was just standing with an ear pressed to my door to listen to my conversation.” You sass with a click of your tongue, letting a tiny smile creep up your cheeks so he doesn’t take your sentence as being hostile. He rolls his eyes at you, countering that he was not “listening in” with his ear to the door, but he does admit that he was watching from the window. “Just admit it, you were curious.” You say with a laugh.

“Fine. But who wouldn’t be when a mysterious and handsome gentleman comes to your door in the middle of the morning to hand you- what is that, a jacket?” Jimin gestures down to your hands where you’re still holding your jacket, prompting you to walk into your bedroom to put it with the rest of your dirty clothes in the hamper. He follows closely behind you. “So, is that the guy you’ve been seeing?”

“Yeah, his name is Jaebeom.” You concede, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “But like I said before, it’s not that serious. He just came to give me back this jacket I left in his car. Don’t think too much about it.”

“It’s not serious but he drove all the way over here at the crack of dawn to give you back something as trivial as a jacket?” He questions, giving you a look.

“I haven’t been able to see him in a while so he just wanted to return it in case I needed it, you know, since he doesn’t know when or if he’ll see me again.” Your voice starts to take on a defensive tone, it going up in pitch with every word. You idly begin to tidy up, walking around to the other side of the bed to fix the sheets and put some distance between you and Jimin. He doesn’t buy your explanation, shaking his head.

“I can tell you right now that that’s not true. I bet he just missed you and was using that as an excuse to see your lovely face again. It’s what I would do.” You pause at his subtle compliment and at how spot-on his assessment of the situation was. Sure, he’s always been perceptive like this, but it catches you off guard every time. You don’t have anything else to say to him, so you continue to make your bed. “And what do you mean by ‘if’ you see him again?” He uses air quotes with his fingers for effect. “Are you not planning on seeing him anymore?”

You sigh again, moving to the other side of he bed to finish your work, pulling at the sheets more aggressively than necessary at his line of questioning. “I don’t know, Jimin. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Well why not? He seems like a nice enough guy, do you not like him anymore?”

“I don’t know.” It’s not that you don’t like him, it’s just that you’ve been distracted by someone else for the time being.

“How long have you been seeing him for?”

“A few months.”

“A few months is a long time to not know if you like someone or not, (Y/n). It’s obvious you do like him.”

“So what?” He’s starting to annoy you.

“So, you have no real reason not to see him again.” Jimin steps a tiny bit closer to you.

“Okay?”

“What I’m saying is, if you like him then you should continue seeing him.”

“That’s not really your call to make, Jimin.”

“But you’re already practically dating.”

“No we’re not, it’s just casual.” The thought of dating anyone else that isn’t him sends a chill up your spine for some reason.

“So you just casually like each other and have been seeing each other for months?” When he puts it like that it does sound like you should be dating. And your chemistry with Jaebeom is undeniable. But you both decided to take it slow and go at your own pace to see how things turned out. And it just so happens that things took a drastic turn when Jimin returned so of course you wouldn’t know how to feel about him yet. You don’t say any of that though.

“It’s- complicated.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s not for you to understand, it’s not your relationship.”

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re not throwing away an opportunity here. If you like him, you should keep seeing him. If you didn’t like him that would be different, but I can see how awkward you got when he saw me. You clearly didn’t want to give him the wrong impression, which means you care about what he thinks of you.” He’s completely right and you know it, but it really isn’t his place to say any of this to you. He doesn’t know anything about you and Jaebeom. And why does he care so much in the first place? It’s almost as if he wants you to date Jaebeom instead of him. You can’t, for the life of you, figure out why he would want that though and it hurts to think that he isn’t planning on being in your life in the way you want him to be. Your sadness then turns to anger.

“Can you please just drop it?!” You hate to raise your voice at him but he’s pissing you off. “It’s actually making me uncomfortable to talk about this with you. And no offense to you but I didn’t ask for relationship advice.” You say this as neutrally as possible and Jimin knows you truly didn’t mean it in a hurtful way. But somehow it seems to hurt worse when you say it like that. He drops the subject immediately.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to… sorry I overstepped.” He looks down at his feet when you turn to look at him. He can hear you take a deep breath. “I should probably go soon, I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“You could at least stay for breakfast.” You offer quietly, trying to show him that there were no hard feelings after your mini argument. Of course, you expect him to reject your offer now that you’ve told him he made you feel uncomfortable. You prepare yourself to say goodbye to him earlier than you’d like. But surprisingly, he agrees to stay, possibly because it’s a free meal and he’s excited to eat your cooking, though you warn him that you’re no master chef.

He helps you cook a simple breakfast then you both sit at your small dining table in silence. It feels so domestic and familiar eating with him like this in your own home. What makes it feel even more like your old relationship is how you two can have a disagreement then turn around and go back to normal like nothing happened. Eating with him now reminds you of your last dinner together, when you cooked together and sat across from one another at this very same table, discussing his work trip and you trying to convince him not to go. The air was tense back then, all of your stress bubbling to the surface as he did his best to ease your nerves. You’d raised your voice at him then too, accusing him of invalidating your emotions and not taking you seriously, but he remained calm and tried to listen to you more actively, hearing you out genuinely and even expressing that you were starting to make him nervous with how serious you were. But ultimately, his response was that he couldn’t skip this work trip just based on your bad feeling alone since his boss already had it out for him and would almost certainly fire him if he skipped out. None of his coworkers were available to go on the trip so it would damage the company’s reputation if they didn’t send someone out to the conference. He explained all of this to you and you shook your head with every word he said, pointing out that his job wouldn’t matter if he’s too dead to attend the conference. You remember him sighing, thinking hard, but concluding that he simply couldn’t miss it. In hindsight you were absolutely right, and a cloud forms over your head when you think of this.

Noticing your unexplained change of mood, Jimin clears his throat and speaks. “Jungkook mentioned you the other day.” You look up from your plate.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He said you didn’t keep in contact after I disappeared.” Biting your lip, you look back down, pressing your lips into a line.

“I didn’t keep in touch with anyone after you disappeared.” You mumble, picking at your food. Another minute passes.

“You went through a tough time after losing me, didn’t you?” Jimin’s eyes meet yours and there you find sincerity, sympathy, and a tad bit of guilt. Shocked by his sudden statement, flashes of those three long years play back in your mind, almost sending you into a spiral. Looking away, you try to force your eyes not to get glassy. It takes you a while to find your voice.

“It was… hard. Really hard.” Is all you can say. The low that you hit after losing Jimin was something that you never thought you’d come out of alive. But you made it anyway, so you try not to think about the worst of it. “It took a lot of work for me to get to where I am now. Or at least to where you found me when you first came home. Which, admittedly, still wasn’t a great place. You would not have wanted to see me back then.”

Your eyes tell a story of a million words and he can see the pain still fresh in them even as you lower your head. He nods in understanding, taking a shaky deep breath before addressing you again, something changing in his face. “I don’t know if anyone has told you this before, but I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And I’m so so proud of you that you made it through.” His hand reaches across the table to find yours and this time a tear rolls down your cheek before you can catch it. You use your shoulder to wipe it, apologizing for getting so emotional.

“No, no one has ever said that to me before. Thank you, Jimin.” You muster a smile, tightening your hand in his.

This is the kind of intimate moment that you missed having with him. He’s always been amazing at giving reassurance and encouragement, at telling people how he feels regardless of the reaction it gets from them. Sometimes it sparks arguments like the one you just had. Other times they can be really touching. He’s always had a way with words and you don’t think you’ll get to have moments like this with anyone else but him. Jaebeom at least has never said anything like this to you. He did show sympathy when you told him about Jimin initially, but it wasn’t the same. Could you be with someone who wasn’t like this when you needed them to be? Could you be with someone who isn’t Jimin?

After the moment passes, Jimin lets go of your hand in favor of picking up his utensil to continue eating as if he hadn’t just said the most impactful thing you’ve heard in a long while. You blink away the rest of your tears and stuff another mouthful of food in you cheeks, hoping it will make the lump in your throat go away.

You found processing the events of last week to be challenging. You went through a rollercoaster of emotions from the moment Jaebeom appeared on your doorstep and now you have to deal with the aftermath of it. Jaebeom apparently took you having Jimin over as a sign to try even harder to win you over, and it has been an interesting few days to say the least.

You currently have an audit at work and your boss has been working you to the bone to make sure everything is perfect, so you haven’t had much time to do anything but eat, sleep, and work. Again, you are struck by a mix of emotions because you feel relieved that you have a real excuse not to see Jaebeom, but at the same time you feel guilty and anxious about not having time to see or talk to Jimin. Jimin has been acting strangely ever since your encounter with the other man. You found out that his old friend Namjoon helped him get a corporate job that he seemed excited about (which you find funny because he always used to say that he never wanted to work in corporate), so he’s been just as busy as you settling into his new job. But that doesn’t excuse him from not responding to your texts and being standoffish when he does respond. He seemed fine when he left your home last week, but after that he’s been… odd. You get the feeling that he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore and you have no idea why. Maybe he took offense to something you said during your argument. The line about not asking him for relationship advice was pretty harsh and Jimin is a sensitive guy so that could be it. But then again, why didn’t he show that he was hurt while he was at your place? Why would he wait an entire week to be upset? You just can’t seem to wrap your head around it and it’s been driving you nuts.

Speaking of driving you nuts, Jaebeom has been the exact opposite of Jimin. He’s been more interactive with you than ever, sending you good morning and good night texts, checking in with you throughout the day, offering you a space to vent after you told him you’ve been stressed (though you haven’t taken him up on his offer because you really shouldn’t be talking to him anymore in the first place), and writing you cute little paragraphs to encourage you with your audit even when you don’t respond. He really would be the perfect boyfriend, but all his efforts do is annoy you at this point. Everything that he does to win you over is a mirror image of the things Jimin used to do when you were together, so even when he is right in front of you, all you can think about is Jimin and how badly you want to be with him instead of with this other man. The longer you’re away from Jimin, the lonelier you feel, and you think you’ve spent enough time without the man that you love. Jaebeom is nice and all, but he’s just not the one that can fill the void in your heart, no matter how hard he tries. Not when Jimin is still around. It’ll be a tough pill to swallow for him, but you’ve decided you’ve dragged this out long enough. Plus, your level of irritation grows with every romantic gesture he attempts.

When you walked into work this morning there was a bouquet of flowers on your desk along with a teddy bear— flashy and oh-so-embarrassing. All of your coworkers (the sons of bitches) were crowded around you as you opened the card attached to see who they were from, and instead of your heart soaring from the gesture, it sank. The flowers were from Jaebeom, of course, and they also contained a short message that read:

“I tried to find flowers as beautiful as you, but it was impossible so I just got you your favorite. See you tonight at 6pm, your place ;)”

What. The. Hell.

First of all, he doesn’t know if you’re even available tonight so he’s got some nerve planning a spontaneous date like this. Second, nearly everyone in your office has now seen his invitation and are gushing over how you have a hot date, asking you a million questions about who this person is and how you got so lucky. They’re all assuming that this is your new boyfriend after getting over Jimin and you’re too embarrassed to correct them, silently moving the flowers and bear aside to start your tasks for the day. At the end of the day you give the stuffed bear to the wide eyed intern and leave the flowers in the break room to wilt in the dark.

Six o’clock sharp rolls around and you get a knock at your door.

You’re still dressed in work clothes, bags under your eyes from working an overtime shift, and no patience to deal with the man at your front door. You’re going to have to break the news tonight before this goes any farther; he doesn’t deserve to be strung along.

“Good evening, madam!” Jaebeom greets, presenting you with a basket as soon as the door is opened all the way, filled with candies and snacks. Immediately you’re hit with flashes of memories of Jimin doing this exact thing, showing up at your old home before you moved in together with a basket of your favorite goodies “just because” and showering you with love and affection after you told him about the shitty day you’d had. You’re forced to blink the memories away and you’re at a loss for words, unsure of how to tell this other man that he’s wasted his time and money on you because you just simply cannot get over your past.

He seems to get embarrassed by your silence, lowering the basket when it becomes apparent that you have no intention of taking it. The air around you becomes awkward but he shakes it off, still sporting that handsome grin. He really is good looking, and if Jimin didn’t exist you would have been dating him by now. In another universe you probably never meet Jimin. Never get to fall in love with him or get to know what an amazing person he is. In another universe Jaebeom probably doesn’t meet you when you’re at your lowest, broken almost beyond repair and he doesn’t have to work so hard to get you to like him. He probably does all of the things he’s doing in this timeline and you crumble into his arms at every gesture, at every text, at every smile. In another life you end up with Jaebeom and you live happily ever after. But in this timeline, in this life, you don’t want him the way that he wants you. You long for someone who you thought was out of reach, but has returned to you once again out of thin air like magic. They say if you love something you have to let it go, and if it comes back it’s meant to be. Well, you let Jimin go once, albeit unwillingly, and he came back from the dead to be with you again. You’d be wrong not to take the opportunity to get him back, even if that means losing the man that’s standing right in front of you. Ready and willing to give his heart away to you if you’d only have him. You can’t have them both so you have to break someone’s heart to have what you really want. That thought makes you a bit sad and you try not to show it on your face, steeling yourself for what you have to say.

“I’m kinda surprised you actually showed up.” Is the first thing you say to him, wiping your hands on your pants.

“Of course I showed up, I’m the one that planned the date!” He laughs, but you don’t do the same, only offering him an awkward smile. “How was work?”

“It was fine.” Your answer is curt and he notices immediately that something is off.

“You sure? You seem a little down.” He steps closer, expecting you to move aside and let him into your home, and when you don’t move his eyebrows lift in surprise. “May I come in?” He tries, starting to get nervous. Well that makes two of you.

“Um, sure. But I- can we talk?” You’re stuttering now and you clear your throat to get the nerves out of your shaky voice. He nods solemnly like you’re about to tell him that someone died, dread filling your gut as you try to prepare your words to make this go as smoothly as possible. Finally, you move aside to let him into your home, and he hesitates for a moment before stepping inside.

Jimin has been thinking of you all week. Thinking about all of the things he’s learned about you over the past few months and feeling that ache in his heart from missing you. He’s been a bit cold to you recently because he felt like he was in the wrong for pursuing you since you had already been seeing someone, and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that if you truly want to be with that other person. He’s also been distancing himself because of the heavy guilt that he’s been feeling after grasping how tough losing him was for you. He knows it wasn’t his fault but deep down he feels like it was. He’s the reason you struggled during those 3 years, and even though he doesn’t know all of the details, he can sense that you are still struggling in some way. His biggest fear is hurting you and he’d rather lose you than hurt you so deeply again.

So why is your place the first place he thought to drive to after getting his drivers license today? He’s got his GPS out and is turning the corner onto your street with no real goal in mind, simply wanting you to be the first to know that he passed. And also because he missed seeing your face. Of course he feels terrible for being so stand-offish to you too and wants to apologize in person. He just can’t sort out his emotions between you seeing Jaebeom, him being the reason for your poor mental health, and his heart wanting him to just confess his feelings to you, everything is all jumbled up. But seeing you tonight might clear some things up for him and he knows that once he sees you he’ll make up his mind on how to proceed.

Pulling up to your house, he can see a car that isn’t yours in the driveway. He’s seen it before, recently, and it doesn’t click whose car it is until he sees the man standing outside your door. There Jaebeom stands, basket in hand, dressed nicely like he’s going on a date. And you are in the doorway talking to him, dressed in a lovely pants suit with your hair pinned up, stepping aside to let him into your home. As Jimin gets closer he sees Jaebeom nod, then take a step forward to enter your home and his heart sinks. Again he feels like he’s intruding on something and his face gets hot in embarrassment. Of course you’re going to continue seeing Jaebeom, you never said you would stop seeing him even though you denied that you were dating. And he’s the one that was encouraging you to continue seeing him in the first place, so there’s no real reason for him to be upset. Except he is upset. But more than that, he’s disappointed. It hurts more than he thought it would to see you with someone else, and it feels like his world is crumbling apart at the thought that you might end up with this man instead of him.

He continues driving past your house with stinging eyes, feeling silly for feeling the way he does. Like he said, you shouldn’t throw away the opportunity to be with someone you like just because of him, and part of him still feels that way, but the bigger part of him wishes you would ignore his words and still choose him.

Inside your home, Jaebeom sits awkwardly on your couch playing with his fingers as you take your time locking your front door and trudging over to him. You sit next to him, turning your body slightly towards his and it is a lot like the last time you had him over, except the air is much more tense.

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asks, though he probably has an idea of what you’re going to say. Swallowing hard, you wrack your brain for the right words to say.

“I don’t really know how to say this so I’ll just cut to the chase. Jaebeom,” you start, talking with measured words. “Getting to know you over these last few months was truly a pleasure. You’re smart, handsome, funny, and all around one of the most patient people I’ve ever met, and I am really attracted to you, truly. But-“

“You’re still in love with him?” He cuts you off with a quiet voice, a whisper so quiet you almost don’t hear it.

You pause with a frown, nodding slowly, and he lowers his head. Your voice takes on a deeper tone, soft and almost as heartbroken as his. “I know how much effort you put into trying to make me happy. When we met, I was a shell of who I used to be and you were one of the main people that stayed patient with me and helped bring me back to life. Even though you never saw who I was before… everything that happened… you still had faith that I was more than that lifeless lump of flesh that couldn’t even muster a smile at the nice gentleman who offered to pay for all of my groceries when I forgot my wallet at home.” You half laugh at the thought, recounting how Jaebeom had been in front of you in line at the store, packing away his things into his cart when he overheard you talking with the cashier about how you had left your wallet and would have to abandon the small cart of items you needed. You didn’t have much, only about 10 items, and Jaebeom graciously walked over and paid for them after hearing the sadness in your voice. You thanked him profusely without making eye contact and he admitted that he found it cute, finally causing you to look up at him. His smile was almost blinding and it only caused your heart to ache as you remembered another blinding smile that you thought you’d never see again. He asked for your number when you asked how you could repay him, and selfishly you gave it to him, knowing it was only because his smile reminded you of Jimin, and even now you feel guilty about it because you’ve roped him into more than he bargained for just because you were looking for a replacement to pull you out of your grief. You feel like a terrible person. And maybe you are. “And even now, you continue to bring me gifts and wear your heart on your sleeve for me even knowing there was a possibility that Jimin coming back might change things between us.” You gesture at the basket of goodies sitting on your coffee table. “You plan spontaneous dates and send flowers to my job and show up to my house all dressed up— you do all of this for someone that you aren’t even sure likes you the same way, and that just tells me that you are so, so genuine and thoughtful, and it’s crushing me that I can’t reciprocate. I do like you, it’s just that my heart is pulling me in a different direction. And it is totally not fair to you that you did all the work to get me back to a place where I can accept love again and you don’t even get to reap the rewards of your labor. But it’s also not fair to you to be strung along like some toy. I’m so sorry that I wasted your time, you deserve so much better than me.”

Looking down, you end your monologue and wait for his reaction, a little scared of how he’ll respond. Jaebeom doesn’t seem like the type to lash out, but with all that you’ve just said who knows what his response will be. What you don’t expect is to feel his hand gently on your thigh, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You look up to find him giving you a sad smile, not an ounce of malice in his gaze as he looks at you.

“Why do you look so sad, beautiful? It’s not your heart that’s being broken.” He gives you a half smile and you nearly burst into tears, feeling so yucky for rejecting this sweet man. He removes his hand from you, running it from his forehead to the back of his head with a sigh. “I kinda knew this was coming, you’ve been dodging me for weeks.” Your face goes pale and he laughs. “Yeah, I noticed, but don’t feel too bad. This is a hard conversation to have so I don’t blame you for putting it off.” Your wide eyes cause him to grin, lifting his head to look at the ceiling. “I wasn’t sending you flowers and bringing you gifts solely to win you over. Partly, it was because I love seeing you smile and I hoped it would brighten your day at least a little. You always seem so conflicted when we see each other. Like you’re battling with yourself in your head about something no one else would understand. First it was with grief, now it’s love, but it seems like two sides to the same coin to me. I understand that it’s probably so hard on you to be between the idea of moving on from your past and going back to what you know, and I commend you for actually coming to a decision about it. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t know what to do and I would probably keep both options in limbo for much longer than you did. But, man, it really sucks being on the losing side.” He sighs.

“I’m sorry.” You find yourself apologizing before you can stop yourself.

“Don’t apologize, you had to choose someone. But just know, I don’t regret anything that I did within these past months. I don’t regret meeting you or getting to know you. Or being a part of this love triangle and trying to win you over. Though I have to say, it wasn’t a fair competition.”

“What do you mean by that?” Your eyebrows knit in an adorable way and he has to look away from you before he can let his heart flutter.

“I mean, how could I possibly compete with someone who brightens your life that much? Ever since you told me he came back you’ve been so much happier. I can see it in your entire demeanor, with how you carry yourself now, with how your eyes look lively and free. I was only able to bring out glimpses of that in you, but- Jimin, was it?- he is able to change your entire world. So how could I be upset when in the end you’ll get to be yourself again after all these years and live happily ever after? I only want the best for you, and if you are your best self with somebody else, then who am I to get in the way of that?”

Feeling your eyes well up with tears, you close them and take a shaky breath. Jaebeom is just too good to be true. You never thought you’d be the one brought to tears in this situation, but here you are, crying at the heartfelt words of the man you didn’t choose. You tell yourself that that other version of you in another universe is happy with him. Running into his arms and accepting his love instead of crushing it under the heel of her foot like you are right now. That picture of the other version of him stays with you as well, hugging you and pouring all of his love and adoration onto you instead of swallowing it down like he’s doing now, putting on a brave face to save your feelings even when you’re trampling all over his.

Opening your eyes, you spread your arms to ask silently for a hug, and he scoots closer to accept. Nuzzling your face in his shoulder, you let a few tears slip free. The hug you share communicates all of your remaining emotions that you don’t have the words for, and you hope he hears them loud and clear. The way he squeezes you tells you he does, and it’s a long minute before you’re pulling away, wiping your eyes with a smile and observing how his are now glassy too.

“So this is it, huh?” He asks, looking at you longingly.

“Yeah.” You frown.

“I… guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.” You choke out.

He sits there for a second longer, staring at you as if committing your face to memory, before getting up from your couch and heading to the door. You don’t follow him and he lets himself out, leaving you staring into space with a heavy heart, listening to the sounds of his footsteps getting farther away until you hear his car door shut, the engine turn on, and the sound of his wheels leaving your driveway.

The ache in Jimin’s heart grows every day that he doesn’t talk to you. It wouldn’t be too far off to say that he’s pouting by not texting you back, but he just can’t seem to bring himself to reply after what he saw that night. Plus, he’s been caught up with his new job and things have been hectic as he looks for a place to move out of his parent’s house to. No, that’s an excuse. The reality is that he has all the time in the world when he’s not at work, and he has chosen to use that time to sulk about not being with you instead of trying to continue your friendship or even ask you for answers. But even if he were to ask you for answers, he’s almost positive that he won’t like the answer to the question “why did you invite Jaebeom into your house that night?” You would probably only break his heart more by saying that you decided to be with Jaebeom instead and that you were inviting him in to make sweet love in his absence. That thought makes him frown deeply, a pit of jealousy forming in his gut.

But that’s what he wanted, right? You should have the chance to move on with someone else after the pain you’ve endured. You should be with someone that makes you happy and if that person is Jaebeom then he has no right to speak against it.

Blazing white shines through his window and angles right into his already open eyes, no need for an alarm as he’s already been awake all night. One cup of coffee, black, and a bowl of his favorite cereal. His mother is in the living room crocheting as he walks past to use the restroom, watching him as he drags his feet with eyes half open. A fleeting thought of you crosses his mind, of how you told him you used to find it so funny that his eyes barely open in the morning when he’s still sleepy and how you found it so endearing how clingy and cuddly he used to get. He’s still like this, craving the warmth of your body this morning, but you’re not here to supply him with cuddles or love and affection because you’re giving it to another man. His mother watches as he nearly runs into the doorframe of the bathroom on his way out, still locked in his heartbreaking daydream of you snuggled up with that handsome stranger.

“Jimin-ah,” his mom calls, concerned by how disoriented and sad her son looks. “When is the last time you left the house, honey?”

“Hm? I leave every day to go to work…” he replies back quietly.

“That doesn’t count. When is the last time you left the house for something that wasn’t work?”

Since he saw you at your house about 5 days ago. She already knows the answer so he doesn’t have to say this out loud, and she forces him to call up Taehyung and Jungkook to spend some time with them to raise his spirits. And hopefully they can talk some sense into him.

Jimin sits uncomfortably at the table as his two best friends stare back at him with blank looks of disbelief, looking at him as if he were stupid after he explains what he saw that night. The boba shop buzzes with people on this busy weekend afternoon, somehow making their silence that much more unsettling.

“What? Why are you guys staring at me like that?” He whines after an excruciating minute passes without them saying anything. He can’t read either of their thoughts from their expressions and it’s making him nervous.

“I’m so sorry to say this, but that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” Jungkook states, shaking his head in dismay at his friend’s stupidity. “So you just assumed they were going on a date and drove off without confirming?”

“What else was I supposed to do? Go knock on her door and ask her “hey are you going on a date with him right now?” just for her to laugh and say ‘yes’ and slam the door in my face?”

“Could it be possible that she didn’t set up the date and he was just coming over to surprise her? You know, since he’s kinda competing with you to earn her affections?” Tae asks, trying to wrap his head around Jimin’s thought process.

“I mean, that could have been what was happening, but I think it’s much more likely that he came over to go on a date with her.” Jimin pouts, taking a sip of his boba drink.

“Okay, say that was what happened and they were going out on a date. That doesn’t mean that she’s made a decision to date him instead of you. Wasn’t (Y/n) going out on dates with this Jaebeom character at the same time that she was seeing you?” Jungkook tries to reason, earning a frown from Jimin.

“Yes, but this just felt different. It looked like there was some tension between them when he was walking into her house, like something was about to happen between them.”

“I mean, tension isn’t always sexual, she could have been about to break his heart and tell him she doesn’t want to see him anymore. Were they smiling or was the vibe serious?” Taehyung swirls the liquid in his cup, watching as the tapioca pearls spin around the bottom, seeming half uninterested in the conversation.

“It was more serious, but I don’t really know because I didn’t get a clear look at their faces.” Jimin admits, trying to think back to what you looked like. He definitely doesn’t remember you smiling or anything though.

“Then there’s a possibility that I’m right and she was inviting him in to have the breakup talk with him. Well, it isn’t really a break up if they weren’t actually together.” Jimin doesn’t say anything to this so Taehyung continues. “The way I see it is, it doesn’t really matter what they were doing or talking about that night, what matters is your response to it. Are you just going to roll over and let this other guy steal your girl from you when she’s clearly still into you?”

“Tae’s right, are you really going to just let him have her?” Jungkook adds, both of them looking at Jimin expectantly. He lets out a deep sigh, looking sadder than ever.

“The thing is, she’s not my girl, I don’t own her and she doesn’t owe me anything. I can’t just treat her like I’m entitled to her heart when she clearly has feelings for someone other than me.”

At this, both men laugh, causing Jimin to look up at them, confused. “Yeah right, tell that to her.” Jungkook says through a snicker, taking a sip of his boba.

“Huh?”

“Dude, the way you’ve got her heart in shackles is ridiculous. I’m not sure if she even knows you don’t literally own her, I haven’t seen her even glance at another man since she met you.” Taehyung laughs.

Jungkook nearly bounces with excitement as he recalls something from the depths of his memory, nudging Taehyung with his elbow. “Hyung! Remember in high school when that guy from her class confessed to her in front of all 3 of us and she told him she had “feelings for someone else” while making direct eye contact with Jimin?”

“Yes! And she didn’t even know his name! She called him “Daehyun” when his name was Doyoung.” Taehyung laughs uproariously, slapping the younger man on the shoulder. “Man, we teased her about that for years after you two finally got together,” He addresses Jimin, who looks lost as usual. But he’s gotten used to being the odd man out when people reminisce, simply wanting to know more about the story, especially if it involves him. “And just like you are now, you were completely clueless to how she felt.”

“I don’t know how you didn’t catch on after that, she was literally staring you down when she said it. I could almost see the cartoon arrow sign above her head pointing at you saying “it’s YOU, Jimin, I have feelings for YOU”. I still can’t believe it took you almost 2 months after that to ask her out.” Jungkook sighs, shaking his head.

“Yeah, because he was “unsure” if she liked him back.” Taehyung says, rolling his eyes as Jimin looks between the both of them.

“How can you be unsure if someone like (Y/n) likes you back? She’s not the most subtle, at least not when it comes to you.” Jungkook is right. You have never been able to hide your expressions around Jimin, or stop yourself from getting shy, or stop the word vomit that comes with being nervous and oversharing things about yourself because you don’t want Jimin to misunderstand anything when it comes to you. Jimin has seen the word vomit first hand, when you were trying to explain Jaebeom’s relationship to you, desperately trying to get him to understand just how insignificant Jaebeom is to you.

“Thanks for bringing that up, Kookie, I’m now 100% convinced that (Y/n) doesn’t even know that other men exist. She’s only ever had eyes for you, Jimin.” Sounding completely certain, Taehyung leans back in his seat as if to say that that’s the end of the conversation. But that nagging voice in the back of Jimin’s head reminds him of how nervous you looked when Jaebeom came to your door that day and saw him standing there. And how stiff you got when he started questioning you about Jaebeom.

“But she clearly does know other men exist, she’s been dating one for months.” Jimin says quietly, crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. “Things have changed since high school. Both of us have changed so it’s not impossible to think that she grew to have feelings for someone else.”

“Even if she does have feelings for this guy, her feelings for you obviously outweigh her feelings for him. I’m not sure how you don’t see that.” Jungkook is starting to get irritated with the back and forth resistance that Jimin keeps giving them. Why is it so damn hard to get him to see that you want him and only him? “Wasn’t she the one who kept saying that the two of them weren’t dating when you were asking her about it? That doesn’t sound like someone who wants the other man.”

“Right. Plus, she waited a whole 3 years before even attempting to date. She wouldn’t even think about breathing in another man’s direction after your disappearance because she didn’t want to be disrespectful to you and also because she still had such deep feelings for you that it was sickening to even think about anyone else. You think those feelings just disappeared overnight because some other guy came into the picture?” Tae tries to reason, but it only makes Jimin feel worse. He’s already held you back so much, he’d hate to be the reason you give up on finding love elsewhere.

“I- I don’t know.” Jimin buries his face him his arms, a headache forming behind his eyes at the rushing thoughts running through his mind. He’s torn, and even though his friends tell him otherwise, he can’t help thinking that your feelings reside with someone else. He’s frustrated with himself that he just can’t accept that you want to be with him, and he doesn’t know how to convince himself that it’s true.

“Well, we’ve said all we can say to convince you. Now it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’ll pursue her.” Jungkook concludes, finishing the rest of his drink and using his straw to suck up the remaining pearls at the bottom of his cup, nearly choking as one flies up the straw and down his throat.

“But just know,” Taehyung starts, patting Jungkook on the back as he coughs, “if push comes to shove, we’ll be on (Y/n)’s side so you better not fuck up.” His ominous warning sends a chill up Jimin’s spine as Jungkook nods in agreement. He sounds like a protective older brother threatening his little sister’s boyfriend, and there’s a flash of familiarity in the feeling it gives him. As if Taehyung has said or expressed the same sentiment to him before. He wants to ask if he’s said that before, but Jimin is far too intimidated by Taehyung’s deep voice to ask.

Jimin goes home with a lot to think about, both of his friends having made valid points. His room feels empty and large and he cuddles up with a pillow to try to replace the warmth that he craves from you, thinking about how he could have you all to himself if it wasn’t for Jaebeom. He picks up his phone and begins typing, wanting to let you know that he didn’t mean to ghost you, that he’s been missing you like crazy, and that he wants to see you soon if you’ll let him. But he ends up deleting his message when he thinks back to your face, how you’ll probably be upset with him for reaching out to you after all this time. Or maybe you’ll be nervous and hesitant to reply because you don’t know how to tell him that you’ve chosen Jaebeom instead and only want to be friends moving forward. Or worse, you’ll leave him on read just as he’s done to you and block him and he’ll never get the chance to talk to you again because you no longer want him in your life and he has to respect that. Jimin is spiraling, the bad thoughts mixing with the good: your beautiful smiling face followed by thoughts of you kissing Jaebeom, the feeling of your warm hands cradling his face like you did the first time he saw you, followed by his name being blocked in your phone. He starts to feel a bit nauseous and stands up from his bed, dragging his feet on the way to the shower where no one can see the tears that begin to drip from his eyes as he runs hot water over his face.

It’s the next day and you wake from a dreamless sleep, not feeling rested at all. In fact, you haven’t gotten a good nights sleep since Jimin stopped responding to you almost a week ago. You’ve always known Jimin to be a stubborn one, but this is just too much. It has been far too long without hearing from him and you’re starting to get nervous. Did you do something to make him angry? You’ve barely spoken to him in the past 2 weeks, with him not even bothering to reply beginning about 6 days ago, so you doubt you’ve done anything wrong. Has he simply given up on you? You sure hope not. Jimin is a lover, not a fighter, you know this, but you desperately hope he hasn’t been intimidated by Jaebeom to the point that he’d stop chasing after you. But maybe that’s exactly what happened. He told you he wanted you to move on, to find happiness with the opportunity right in front of you, but you had no idea he would completely take himself out of the running by ghosting you. Just the thought of him doing that pisses you off and you are 5 seconds away from calling him up to ask for an explanation before another thought pops into your mind.

Taehyung has always been on your side with these types of things. In the past, when Jimin would do something to piss you off or if he was being unreasonable, it was always Taehyung who played the middle man and talked some sense into him. Maybe that’s what he needs to do now.

You: Hey, I need your help with something

Taeddy Bear 🧸: If this is about Jimin then I’m in

You: …You don’t even know what I’m going to ask

Taeddy Bear 🧸: I’d even be down if you said you wanted to murder him for ghosting you

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Cuz honestly? Same

Taeddy Bear 🧸: What is it?

You: So he told you he’s been ghosting me?

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Basically

Taeddy Bear 🧸: He seems torn between talking to you and giving you space

You: Space? Why the hell would I need space???

You: We didn’t have an argument or anything

Taeddy Bear 🧸: 🤷🏻 but it seems like he convinced himself that you’ve chosen the other guy over him

You: No??? Why would he think that?

Taeddy Bear 🧸: He saw him at your house last week and assumed you were going out with him

You: 😐

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Hey don’t shoot the messenger

You: I literally told Jaebeom I don’t want to talk to him anymore that night! All he had to do was wait a day 🙄

Taeddy Bear 🧸: I tried to tell him! He was convinced that something spicy was happening between you two

You: Spicy how 🤨

Taeddy Bear 🧸: He thought you were *inviting him in*😏

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Not inviting him in to talk

You: 🤦 God he’s such an idiot 😭😭

Taeddy Bear 🧸: Yeahhh but you love him

You: I do 😫😭

Taeddy Bear 🧸: So we have to do something about this!!

Taeddy Bear 🧸: What do you need me to do?

Just as you thought, Taehyung is as helpful as ever in devising a plan for you to confront Jimin. You both agreed that if you told him to just meet you that he’d either say no, or say yes and be extremely anxious about it to the point where he’d almost be in tears from stress, so you decided to surprise him with your presence at a neutral place.

The doorbell rings at Taehyung’s place, the weekend finally here again and the boys lounging around together. Taehyung’s ears perk up at the sound like a dog, struggling to hide his mischievous grin as he knows exactly who is at the door.

“Jimin-ah, can you get that?” He asks politely, motioning for Jungkook to sit when the younger man begins to stand. The muscle bunny looks confused, but Taehyung gives him a look that says he’ll explain later.

“Why can’t you get it? It’s your house.” Jimin yawns, not loving the idea of getting up from his comfortable position. His eyes are fixated on the tv screen and he whines when Tae hits pause and the action stops.

“You’re closest to the door.” Tae bickers back, throwing a piece of candy at his best friend. The doorbell rings again and this time Jimin shifts to get up, groaning like an old man as his knees crack when he stands.

“Fiiiiine.” He sighs, dragging his feet to the door, unsure of what to expect on the other side. Maybe there’s another one of Taehyung’s friends coming over that he has yet to meet. Or maybe it’s a package or food delivery. Whatever Jimin is thinking, he sure doesn’t expect to see you on the other side of the door, standing there picking at your fingers nervously, glancing up at him with almost as shocked an expression as him.

“O-oh, I wasn’t expecting you to be the one to open the door.” You stutter out, having expected to have a little more time to prepare before seeing him. His face goes pale at the sight of you and he takes a step backwards. His heart jumps because all he’s wanted to do for the past few days was see your face, but now that you’re here he doesn’t know what to say. Was this a set up? He looks behind him in the direction of his friends, though he can’t see them from the doorway, and silently curses them in his head. “Can we talk? Please?”

He takes a deep breath, the consequences of his own actions and cowardice looking him right in the face with those beautiful eyes, so deep and genuine that he has no choice but to agree. “Sure. But let’s go in the back.” He suggests, not wanting any of Taehyung’s nosy neighbors to intrude on your conversation. The sound of his voice sends a shiver through you and you hide it with a nod. He moves aside to let you into his friend’s home, cutting his eye at the two men as they wave at you on your way to the back door, giving Jimin a thumbs up when you look away.

The thought of having to talk to you makes his stomach twist because he has absolutely no idea what to say to you. You don’t even know the reason why he stopped responding, and knowing you, you’re probably thinking you did something wrong to deserve this treatment from him, when in reality, it’s his own cowardice that’s kept him from seeking the truth. But at the same time, he doesn’t think he’s prepared to hear what the truth is. He knows how shattered you are without him, but he has no idea just how shattered he’d be if he found out for certain that you won’t be his.

He swallows hard when the back door finally shuts behind you, the two of you alone and staring at each other, almost daring the other to speak. He decides to take the lead when he sees that your lips remain in a fine line, swirling thoughts not coherent enough to speak yet despite you having practiced what you were going to say all night.

“I’m assuming you and Taehyung came up with this brilliant plan to corner me, huh?” He starts, turning his attention to the spider web that rests between the posts of the railing of Taehyung’s small deck. There sits a spider toward the center of the web, swaying in the wind and waiting for its prey to fly into its trap. Dark clouds roll overhead, the threat of a storm brewing.

“I’m not cornering you. You can leave whenever you want.” He makes no motions toward the door so you continue. “I only wanted to have a conversation with you and get some things off my chest, and since you’ve been ghosting me, this is the only way for me to do that.” Your pretty lips form into a small frown and all Jimin can think about is the way they look stretched into a smile. He’s the reason you aren’t smiling now, and he feels absolutely terrible about it, a knot forming in his stomach at the guilt he feels for not contacting you. “So, why the hell have you been ghosting me?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard it from Taehyung already…” he mumbles, looking away from you again.

“Yeah, but I want to hear it from you.” You respond immediately, not letting up.

He takes a deep inhale, letting it out slowly as he thinks of what he saw at your place and all of the terrible nightmares he’s been having of you with Jaebeom and him ruining your happiness with him. “I… saw Jaebeom at your place last week. I know you’ve been seeing him for a while and that you like him so it’s only natural that you’d still be going on dates and inviting him in. It just felt like I was being a home wrecker by interjecting myself into your life while you were already seeing someone, and seeing you invite him into your house made me feel like I was intruding on your relationship. I mean, you guys would be practically dating at this point if it wasn’t for me showing up out of nowhere, so I decided it would be best for me to take myself out of the equation and let you be happy with him.”

“So you made the decision all by yourself to walk away based on an assumption that I had chosen him?” When you put it like that it sounds like he made a bad call. He nods regardless. “Why do you even think I chose him in the first place? Because he was at my house?”

“Because he was dressed up like you were about to go on a date, bringing you gifts and you were inviting him into your house. It didn’t seem like you were rejecting him.”

“So you decided to ghost me after seeing 5 seconds of an interaction with no context?” Your voice raises in volume just slightly, starting to get pissed off.

“What else did I need to see? Did you want me to sit outside your window and watch you have sex with him to determine if you were still seeing him or not?” He snaps back, looking irritated himself. He ignores the way your face contorts. “Listen, it’s fine if you want to be with him, just tell me. I was wrong for ghosting you, and I’m sorry, but I thought it would be easier for you if you didn’t have to decide between the two of us. I have feelings for you but I don’t want you to throw away your relationship with him because of me.”

“What relationship?!” Just listening to him say so many incorrect things at once is making your blood pressure go up. “Jimin, I invited him inside to reject him. I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore and that I had chosen you!”

At this he blinks, taking in the meaning of your words. You think he’s going to have an epiphany moment where he realizes just how dumb he was acting and apologize to you for assuming incorrectly, but instead he seems to get angry, which perplexes you.

“You broke up with him for me? But he’s literally the perfect man. You deserve the world and he looks like he could give it to you. Why would you throw away that for me?”

“I did not “break up” with him— for the millionth time— we were never together! And Jaebeom is a great guy and all but he is not the perfect man. You know how I know that? Because you are the perfect man. You are the perfect man for me.” You take a step closer to him, trying to get through to him. He’s always been like this, doubtful of himself and his worth.

“How can you say that so confidently? I’m not the exact same person I was when we were together, (Y/n). I can’t remember any of the time we spent together before the accident so our relationship wouldn’t be the same if you do go back to me. You barely even know me anymore.” He looks down at his feet, feeling so insecure that he almost wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you would choose him, someone with his memory and identity in shambles, over another man who has his life put together and memory intact, who is settled and has a great personality with an equal desire to make you happy. Your eyes squint at him at his last statement as if that was the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard in your life and the look on your face makes him take a step back. You look like you could strangle him for being so stubborn and thinking so lowly of himself.

“I do know you, Jimin! I probably know you better than you know yourself. I know that you like sleeping in on weekends but feel guilty if you sleep past 11am; I know that when you laugh too hard, your eyes shut and you can’t see until you stop laughing; I know that you had a friend in 2nd grade that made fun of you during show and tell and that’s why you don’t like speaking in front of crowds.” He looks at you incredulously, not expecting your word vomit. “I know that you like to drink! You can hold about 4 or 5 shots before you really start feeling it, but you prefer wine or whiskey on most nights. I know that you pride yourself on being meticulous and neat, and that you love when people notice and praise you about it! I know that you cry every time you watch “Inside Out” because Bing Bong was your favorite character.”

“But that’s all surface level-“

“I know that you’re an overthinker that tends to doubt his self worth when it comes to other people, just like you’re doing now. I know that you haven’t changed from the person who proposed to me and cried his eyes out when I said yes because you had convinced yourself that I would say no. I know you value your friends and family more than anything in the world and would do whatever it takes to see them happy, even at the expense of yourself. I know that you’ve got a thick skull and won’t let anyone tell you otherwise once you’ve got your mind set on something, whether it be for work, relationships, or fun. And if it’s something negative about yourself that you’re struggling with, I know that you need a lot of reassurance to feel comfortable because you hate being an inconvenience to others.”

The entire time you ramble on, you don’t notice his flickering resolve. It both fills and breaks his heart because of how well you know him, and it only confuses him more. He should run from you and let you move on, he was your past and you deserve to step away from him and continue with your future. But at the same time, he hasn’t changed at all and your rant is proving that. Everything you say about him is true, and it shouldn’t be difficult to rebuild what he lost. Maybe he’s just afraid he won’t live up to who you once knew. But everything you say proves that he is still that person, and you still very much know him.

Dropping your voice, you draw closer. “I know how amazing you are at listening to other people’s problems and offering emotional support, yet you find it hard to express your own feelings verbally sometimes. I know that you think you’re holding me back. And most importantly, I know that we once loved each other with all our hearts, and that I still love you just as much— if not more— than I did before.” Taking a breath, you stare at him, trying to understand what’s going through his head. “The point is, I don’t want you to distance yourself from me. I don’t want a new life with a new person. I don’t even want our old life together because even then we weren’t perfect! I just want you with me; the one that’s standing in front of me right now looking clueless and dumbfounded,” He closes his mouth, embarrassed. “The one that doesn’t remember our past but was willing to follow me around the city making new memories anyway. Who you are right now is more than enough for me. So please, let me choose you. I’ve already made my decision, it’s up to you to accept it.”

Heart in your throat, you wait for him to say something, anything, but he stays silent. The longer the pause the more you worry, wondering what he’s thinking. Scratching his neck, he struggles to find the words, opening and closing his mouth as he fights an internal war.

“I just- I need some time to think.” He finally speaks up, not meeting your eyes.

“What do you still need to think about? You either want me or you don’t, you accept my confession or not.” When he stays silent again your frustration reaches a fever pitch and you have to remove yourself from him before you say something you don’t mean. “You wanna know what I also know? That you’ve always been oblivious when it comes to me, so I’m just going to say this plainly for you: I love you and I can’t imagine living without you again. I don’t want Jaebeom, I only want you— so you get back to me once you figure out whatever is going through your head. I’ll wait for you, even if I have to wait forever. But I’m really hoping you don’t take forever because I really miss you.” Your voice breaks a little at the end of your sentence and you turn toward the door quickly, opening the sliding glass and making your escape before he can see the tears welling up in your eyes. You leave without saying anything to Taehyung and Jungkook, your scent wafting after you, filled with sorrow and despair.

Jimin stands there, sucking on his lips and wondering if what he did was the right thing. He takes his time coming back into the house, finding his two best friends staring at him in anticipation. “How did it go?” Jungkook asks, looking back at him with doe eyes.

“Judging by the way she stormed out I’m guessing it didn’t go well.” Taehyung surmises, pausing the tv and turning his full attention to Jimin as he sits back down on the couch with his head in his hands. He explains the conversation/argument he just had with you and waits for his friends to respond.

“Jimin what the hell!” Jungkook is almost in tears for you, face getting hot from the second hand embarrassment he’s getting from the way you put yourself in such a vulnerable position for this imbecile. Jimin blinks at the anger the younger man is displaying on your behalf. “I should hit you for putting her through this.”

Taehyung does the honors and slaps Jimin on the back of his head, not saying a word.

“So let me get this straight. You disappear for three years, (Y/n) is miserable. You return and she’s happy. Then you ghost her because you think she’s chosen to be with another man, making both of you miserable. She breaks things off with the guy she was seeing to be with you, giving both of you the chance to be happy again, and you tell her you need to think about it? What else is there to think about, hyung? Do you not want to be with her?”

“It just feels selfish of me to want to get back with her. I’ve hurt her so deeply before by almost dying and I’m just really scared of hurting her again. And what if I’m not good enough for her anymore? What if I can’t love her the way she wants to be loved and I end up disappointing her? I can’t remember all the things I used to do, nor do I know her well enough now to know what she wants. Jaebeom seems like such a good guy and I can see her being happy with him, it only feels right to let her move on from me instead of selfishly trying to keep her for myself.”

“And you don’t think you’re hurting her by doing this?” Taehyung’s voice seems to get deeper as he finally speaks up, trying to control the volume of his voice. “You don’t think it was selfish to make the decision to stop talking to her on your own without consulting her first? I think it’s very arrogant of you to think you know what’s best for her without even considering how she feels.” His harsh words cut deep and cause Jimin’s eyes to sting. Taehyung has never been one to mince his words, unafraid to tell his friends when they are in the wrong. And Jimin can tell that you and both of his friends were— and still are— very close by the way they defend you in your absence.

“I’m with Tae on this one,” Jungkook says when Jimin looks in his direction. “All this time she’s been telling you how much she loves you and how much she missed you and you’re still saying this? She told you point blank that she doesn’t want to be with Jaebeom and that she wants you and you are completely disregarding her feelings by forcing her to be with him. Do you think it’s fair to her to have to lose you all over again? You didn’t see her while you were gone, you don’t know the suffering she went through without you, do you think she deserves to go back to that? (Y/n) is the sweetest, most caring, patient person any of us has ever met and here you are playing with her heart like a toy. She said she would wait for you, but I doubt she’ll wait forever. I wouldn’t if I was her. So you better figure out what you want before she moves on for real. Do you really want to see her with someone else?” Both of Taehyung and Jungkook’s words strike a cord in Jimin’s heart and he thinks about how utterly depressed you’ll be if he decides to leave you again. He thinks back to everything he’s heard from the people around him, how they all said you struggled alone and separated yourself from the world, how you said you had to claw your way up from the depths of hell to become a functioning human again after those 3 long years of misery. He can’t imaging causing you that level of hurt again, and he hadn’t even thought about that when he was spiraling. Plus, he doesn’t think he can stomach the thought of seeing you around town with someone else, hearing about how well you’re doing with another man through your mutual friends.

“This insecurity about yourself that you’re feeling is completely unjustified. I know she loves you more than anything and I’ve seen you love her before. That’s why I’m confident that you’ll be able to make her happy, whether you remember your past or not.” Taehyung says, sounding more encouraging now after seeing Jimin’s change in demeanor. “Do you want the chance to love her again?”

Jimin swallows, thinking about how badly he’s missed you over the past few weeks and how he wants nothing more than to have you in his arms. Despite the fear he holds in his heart about not being able to live up to who you think he is, he still desperately wants you to be his. “Yes.” He chokes out, scared that he’s ruined things by not telling you this a few minutes ago.

“Then if you have feelings for her the way you say you do, I suggest getting off your ass and chasing after her.” Jungkook concludes, pushing Jimin’s back and forcing him to stand from the couch. “Now!”

The sky is dark as it begins to drizzle. You find yourself jogging from your driveway and fumbling with your keys to get into your home before the sky opens up and starts raining buckets. As soon as you get inside you speed dial your friends, plopping down on your bed with a forearm covering your eyes. The entire ride home you managed to control your emotions by cranking up your music so high you couldn’t think, but now that you’re alone in silence, everything comes bubbling up to the surface.

Joy and Mina both answer your group FaceTime call, having been told about your plan to meet Jimin in person, and they expect you to be squealing in excitement, so when you stay silent on the other end for more than 2 seconds they know something is up.

“Oh god, what happened?” Mina asks, looking at your ceiling as you place your phone on the bed. “Did he reject you? Because I swear if he did I’ll drive over there and kick his ass myself, just say the word.” Always the fighter, Mina would go to bat for you anytime you needed and you’ve always been thankful for that.

“No, he didn’t reject me.” You mumble, frowning at how weak your voice sounds. When you don’t elaborate, Joy finishes for you.

“But he didn’t necessarily accept your confession either, huh?” There’s empathy in her voice and it causes a cascade of tears to flow down your face, the dam breaking and destroying everything you’ve built. You try to cry as silently as possible, embarrassed for your friends to see you like this for some reason. They’ve seen you worse than this, seen you at your lowest and helped to drag you out of it, but this hurt feels different. You’re not mourning or grieving the loss of anything and you haven’t been flat out rejected so it almost feels like your pain isn’t justified.

“He said he needed time to think.”

“What is there to think about? He either likes you back or not, it’s simple.” Mina scoffs, balling up her fist behind the camera.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n).” Joy drawls, frowning when you finally pick upon your phone and reveal your tear-stained face. “Do you need us to come over? We can bring alcohol and watch a movie or trashy reality tv until we get sleepy.” She offers, knowing exactly what you like.

“Yeah, I can bring some of that plum sake you liked last time and we can get fucked up and cry our eyes out singing love songs.” You want to crack a smile at the memory of you and Mina singing “Love” by Keisha Cole several years ago when she got her heart broken by a guy she was seeing. They were just friends with benefits and he apparently didn’t see her as anything more than that, so she was left completely shattered when she hinted that she had feelings for him and he broke things off with her shortly thereafter. You spent two days at her place, just the two of you, watching horror movies, ordering food, drinking, and scream singing heartbreak songs until her neighbors came banging on the door for you both to shut up. It made her feel slightly better to have that catharsis, but you aren’t sure that would fix you this time.

“I don’t know… I don’t really feel-“ You are cut off by the sound of your doorbell, followed by a few knocks. At first, you consider not answering it and letting whoever was at the door think that no one was home, but then you remember that your car is out front and it is possible that whoever it is saw you come him. Sighing deeply, you get up and trudge to your door, annoyed when a few more frantic knocks echo throughout your home. Wiping your eyes, you pause before opening the door, mentally preparing yourself to talk to a neighbor or solicitor or even a door-to-door salesperson, but what you don’t expect is to see Jimin standing there in the pouring rain, hair wet and sticking to his forehead, panting as if he was out of breath. You blink at him, instincts telling you to slam the door in his face. Sensing this, he puts his hand on the door beside your head, standing closer than you were prepared for. You stiffen up, but he doesn’t move an inch away from you. Water drips from the ends of his hair and you can’t help but remember the way he looks after a shower, your chest tightening as the visual of him alone is enough to steal your breath away despite your best efforts to be upset with him.

“Wh-what are you doing here, Jimin?” You manage to stutter out, unable to make eye contact with him when he’s staring at you so intently. You hear a small gasp from your forgotten phone that is now dangling at your side, Joy and Mina sporting surprised looks not unlike yourself.

“Please, just hear me out.”He says, taking in how you glance up at him with innocent eyes, and it is then that he sees how red and puffy they are, sure signs that you had been crying. It breaks his heart and before he can stop himself he’s pulling you into a hug.

It’s sudden and this is the most physical contact you’ve had with him up to this point, so he isn’t sure how you’ll react, especially after the heated conversation you had not even 30 minutes ago. You don’t say anything, but you haven’t pushed him away and locked him out of your home yet, so he takes that as his sign to continue.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry, I’ve been such an idiot.” He starts, and those words are music to your ears. Because yes, he has been a complete idiot, but you want to hear him say why. His arms drop from you and he takes a step back, hand reaching up to push back his hair. Rain continues to fall on him, soaking his clothes and dripping down his face, but he doesn’t seem to care as he forms his thoughts.

“Go on.” You prompt, letting him know that you’re willing to hear what he has to say. He visibly relaxes at this, genuine eyes meeting yours with an almost pleading stare.

“I know you probably hate me right now for not saying this sooner, and I’m nervous as hell to say it, but I drove all the way over here to tell you this so I’m just going to come out and say it.” He sounds like he’s trying to hype himself up, despite all of your feelings being out in the open for him. You brace yourself for what he’s about to say still, already feeling like crying because Jimin seems so sincere at this moment, reminding you of when he first confessed his feelings for you all those years ago.

“What is it?” You ask quietly, praying that this is headed in the direction you’re hoping it is. He takes a deep breath.

“(Y/n). It hasn’t been that long since I’ve known you, but it’s been long enough for me to know that I don’t want to lose you. I feel so connected to you in this inexplicable way, like my soul knows you even if my brain doesn’t remember, and it’s made being without you hell. It felt like I was going through withdrawals when I wasn’t talking to you, but I couldn’t bring myself to face you when I thought you had chosen Jaebeom because I was scared you wouldn’t want me in your life anymore, even as a friend. And if we were just friends, I wasn’t sure if I could handle seeing you with someone else all the time, so I decided it would be easier to just let you go without knowing all the facts first or consulting with you to see what you wanted. I was just playing the hero, thinking it was so noble of me to let you go and be with someone else instead of listening to how you felt and letting you actually be happy. And I was ignoring my own heart that was telling me to go after you because I didn’t want to seem selfish by overshadowing your feelings with mine if what you wanted was to be with somebody else.”

The tears welling up in your eyes begin to fall and he reaches up to wipe them, wet thumb grazing your skin in the gentlest way possible that makes your heart do somersaults.

“But now I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes and it’s okay to follow what I want. (Y/n), I know what I want now. I want to fall in love with you. I want the chance to be in love with you again.” A small sob escapes your throat and you cover your mouth with your hand, turning away from him as you are overcome with emotion. His hand slides down to the side of your neck, caressing it gently as you cry. “I can’t imagine my life now without you. You’ve been there ever since I came home; and even when i was being a dick, you checked in on me and asked if i was taking care of myself. I haven’t done anything to earn your love so far, but I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to make you as happy as possible, because that’s what you deserve. I’ll be your knight in shining armor if you need me to be, I’ll be your pillow and shoulder to cry on, and I’ll try my damndest to make sure to never make you cry sad tears because of me again.” You collect yourself enough to turn toward him, eyebrows arched sadly as the unstoppable tears continue to fall. Even though you’re crying, he still thinks you look absolutely stunning, the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and he doesn’t need his memory to know that. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. Both in the past and now. But I promise I’ll spend a lifetime making up for it. So please, will you give me the chance to love you again?” He pleads, trying to read the expression on your face.

You take your time answering, ingesting his words and feelings as he stands there getting drenched by the wrath of the skies. If you’re trying to sweat him out it’s working because Jimin feels a knot of anxiety forming in his stomach the longer you take to answer. You’re still frowning, wiping your face and sniffing when you finally look back at him, almost looking more upset than before. For a spilt second he thinks you’re going to reject him. Tell him that you don’t actually want to be with him anymore because of everything he’s said and done up to this point. But then you crack a small smile, almost imperceptible, and his heart soars.

“Of course, Jimin.” Is all you say, and he breaks out into the widest smile you’ve seen from him in a very long time. The only other time you’ve seen him smile like this is when you said ‘yes’ to his proposal, but that seems so far away that it feels like it happened in another lifetime. In this life, however, Jimin is reaching out to pull your face to his before you can register what’s happening, pulling you into a kiss that makes fireworks go off in your brain. He holds you close to him, moving his mouth against yours, and it is the single best kiss you’ve ever had. It feels like you finally got your man back. Oh, how you’ve missed him.

Cheering from your phone causes you to break the kiss, both of you startled by the noise. You bring the phone up to see Mina and Joy clapping and cheering as if they were watching a live show, causing you to laugh.

“Is that Mina and Joy?” Jimin asks, having heard about them from you, but not having met them yet recently.

“Yeah,” you chuckle, telling them to quiet down.

“Oh god, did they hear that whole thing?” You can see his cheeks turning red out of embarrassment, not expecting to have an audience.

“Unfortunately, yes.” You nod your head, watching the embarrassment grow on Jimin’s face.

“You should be saying “fortunately, yes” because I was 5 seconds away from going over to Taehyung’s house to beat your ass for making my girl cry.” Mina rolls her eyes, earning a disapproving shake of the head from you.

“Alright, well now that you’re in our good graces again I think it’s time for us to hang up and give you some privacy, right Mina?” Joy asks, though it’s less of a question and more of a command. Mina lets out an exaggerated sigh followed by an “I guess” and they both say goodbye to you and Jimin before your phone goes silent.

“Speaking of privacy,” Jimin starts wiping water from his face. “Can I please come in now?” Not even noticing that he was still half outside of your doorway, back still getting soaked with rain, you gasp and pull him inside. The door closes behind the two of you and a warm feeling washes over him as you escort him to your bedroom to get him some dry clothes. It feels familiar and domestic, like he’s finally home again.

(A/N): Part 4 will contain smut!! But this concludes the main story. Thanks for reading!

#jimin fanfic #jimin #bts writing #bts jimin x reader #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin scenario #bts scenarios #bts jimin

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narratingvoice · 10 months ago

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My sincerest apologies for the radio silence from this blog recently. I know, it's very out of character for me. The thing is, I've been in a bit of a pickle over the past few months. The fiscal year for 2023 didn't end nearly as profitably as I projected, not even with the hype and celebration surrounding

THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE STANLEY PARABLE (2013)!

Server maintenance isn't free, you know, and neither are infinite holes. And with Unity changing its pricing structure on top of it, well, I really needed to put the old noggin to work finding a way to squeeze every last dime out of my fans provide new and valuable pieces of entertainment that will be worth your money. And that's why I'm thrilled to announce my partnership with the fine folks at I Am 8bit to bring you: The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe: Collector's Edition!

It's true! Yes, I know I did a fake announcement for something similar last year, but this one is for real! A physical product that you can purchase and have delivered to your home, and play on your Nintendo Switch or Playstation 5. And this package involves absolutely no changes to the game itself, which really takes a load off my back. Since I have no presence in the physical world, I have to trust that my collaborators will deliver the finest quality items. And trust them I do. Shall we take a look at all the wonderful bonuses you'll receive?

Stickers!

Just like the ones I slapped onto Stanley's bucket, now you too can slap these stickers on your own bucket. Or anything else that currently lacks stickers on it. You will not receive a bucket to stick them on. We floated that idea, but Mr. 8bit told me he'd rather not have to lug dozens of buckets down to the post office every day. You'd look like a right idiot doing that, I agree. So get your own bucket and enjoy the thrill of sticking!

Oh, and do be aware that whatever object you affix the "Property of Stanley" sticker to, does legally become Stanley's property, and he will demand you send it to him.

More surprises under the cut!

An instructional manual!

"But Narrator," I hear you saying, "didn't you just say you're not giving me a bucket? What do I need this for?" First of all, do not interrupt me when I'm giving a presentation. Second of all, this manual is for the bucket that's in the game. I've noticed many players do not seem to know how to operate the bucket, and treat it like it's a person rather than an inanimate container. With this instructional manual, I will give you a comprehensive guide as to what a bucket can do (such as: prevent water from spilling all over your trousers) and what it cannot do (such as: love you back). I have had some harrowing experiences in the field of instructional manual writing, but I think this one is some of my finest work yet.

A figurine!

Yes, our most requested piece of merchandise is finally here! The OFFICIAL Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe Stanigurine stands 5 inches tall and is made of durable PVC. And as with the virtual Figustans, that's all there is to it. There's no articulation or any type of toy action. You don't get anything but the feeling of deep satisfaction at owning this collectible. The package only comes with one, so why not buy six copies if you really want to recreate the game in your home?

But wait, that's not all!

If you are an absolute Stanley Parable fanatic, you'll want to supplement your Collector's Edition with even more plastic tat commemorating your favourite game. And you definitely want to support me as much as possible, right? So you can also buy:

The button that says the name of the person playing the game!

For just $10, you too can have a button that says your name, presuming your name is Jim. The button will only say the name Jim and will never say any other name, no matter how often you press it. I found that a lot of players really got into the immersive experience of being Jim, so I decided to keep it that way instead of programming it to say a whole lot of names. Sorry, but there are too many different names in the world. You're Jim and you'll like it.

Vinyl albums!

When you buy the Collector's Edition, you'll get a free code to download the Official Soundtrack in MP3 format. But what if you don't like MP3? What if you're a bit more old-fashioned in your audiophile taste? Well, I've got you covered! With this 2-record set, you can listen to all the office ambience on your gramophone or turntable. Why, you could even DJ a set with it! If you do, please send me your mixtape and I'll give it an honest review. My music taste is impeccable.

An instructional audio cassette!

Yes, this is just a cassette telling you how to install and run a copy machine. Listen, I took some odd voiceover jobs here and there to pay the bills. And I figured, you lot are so ravenous to hear my voice that you'd even pay good money to hear me deliver some boring instructions. At least, that's the impression I get from the more saucy side of the fandom. So that's what you get. Do I do anything funny? You'll have to buy it and find out!

Hold on, Stanley is trying to tell me something. What do you mean, nobody has a cassette player any more? Why wouldn't they? It's the perfect compact audio format! It's got two sides, which is more than you can say for a CD, and it's a lot more portable than vinyl. Well I'm not shipping out cassette players. You can take it or leave it. No refunds.

#the stanley parable #tsp #ask blog #original #gotta be on that grind tbh #((im genuinely extremely excited about this))

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solitarily-sofia · 6 months ago

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i wanted to give just a few more of my heartstopper opinions lol

1.) the teachers are great characters and not at all pointless like some people try to make them out to be. heartstopper is targeted to an adult audience just as much as teens and it is soo so important to see adults having moments of discovery the same way the kids did bc its never too late to have good experiences in relationships and even if u missed out on that in high school or college, theres no deadline. i think seeing that message is very powerful.

alice was correct in switching aled for issac bc as much as i miss aled and i think having demi representation would be awesome, issac embodies aled in a good way, provides aroace rep and leaves open an opportunity for a radio silence adaptation!

charlie would definitely propose first. alice has said that n & c both plan on it and buy rings but they dont know who would actually do it. i dont think nick would propose first bc as seen in the past nick always waits untill he is entirely sure charlie is ready for something, such as the kiss, or saying "i love you". but i do agree that they would both plan on proposing to each other 🫶.

last thought is that although it is really cool that so far all the actors physically looked so much like the characters, that is not the most important part of the casting process. i know some people are upset the actor for micheal doesnt nessecarily match the comic description, but i feel like in the clip we got he embodies the character so well that it doesnt even matter.

thanks so much for reading i love sharing my opinion and seeing other peoples thoughts 🩷

Hii I'm so so sorry I didn't even see this until I checked my ask box!!

1. I completely agree, the teachers are an incredible addition to the story. And I think it's very comforting for young adults/adults when watching knowing they don't have to be teenagers to experience wholesome gay romance. It's a great message to send :)

2. I think it's good they switched aled for Isaac in the tv adaption. Like do NOT get me wrong i ADORE aled. But his story goes far beyond heartstopper and it gave great room for aroace representation since sadly there isn't much representation for it. Also I would love a radio silence tv adaption AHHH.

3. I saw this post a little while back from someone on tumblr saying that they think nick and Charlie would try propose on the same day but one of them would go first and the other would be like "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO PROPOSE TO YOU?!" and I thought it was so cute. But I like this too and it would make more sense for Charlie to propose first. GOD I hope we someday hear about who proposes to who because that would be so cute! Or have a mini comic called "the proposal" or something

4. OHH I COULD RAMBLE ON FOR HOURS ON END ABOUT THIS! I watched the new clip and I instantly thought "hell yeah, THATS Michael holden". He embodies him and hit his mannerisms on the nail. I hope to see him quite a bit this season.

Thankyou for the ask, sorry I rambled on and on I just love these unpopular opinions!! :)

#alice oseman #heartstopper #tori spring #osemanverse #michael holden #solitaire #charlie spring #solitaire alice oseman #tori and michael #girlblogger

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zerolostwalks · 2 years ago

Note

“i said i love you, you heard me.” “oh i know, i just want to hear you say it again.” for Sweet Tarts!

This sucked. This job was supposed to be Carrie’s retreat and chance to get away from everything. Enjoy the beauty of nature and all that.

Instead she was stuck keeping an eye on the cabin’s while everyone else went on the big celebratory end of summer camp hike and picnic because she’d gone and severely twisted her ankle. So here she sat in the bunk of her cabin. Foot elevated on a stack of pillows while she fiddled with the two-way radio Reggie left behind.

Reggie had actually offered to stay with her. After he offered to carry her the whole 5 mile hike out to the picnic site and back again. Both of which she rejected. Her ankle didn’t need to also ruin his final few days.

Didn’t mean she was any less bored all alone like she was. Or that she secretly wished she had accepted his offer to stay. He’d been the biggest surprise of this whole experience and it could have been nice to get some time together, just the two of them.

She glared down at the radio in her hand, checking the volume settings probably for the fifteenth time in the past five minutes. And just like every other time before it was on and at a decent volume level.

So why had it been silent ever since everyone left?

“Reggie? You there?” She asked through the radio and was met by silence.

Reasonably Reggie could have his hands full. A few of those kids were energetic speed demons and daredevils with no sense of self preservation.

It’d be better to let him work if that were the case. He’d get back to her when he was able.

“Reggie?”

“Hey Carrie. You all good? Over.” Reggie said through the radio. His voice made the corners of her mouth twitch upward, though she could easily do without the worried tone.

“I’m fine.” She said, adjusting herself so she was sitting, back propped against the wall and holding her pillow in her lap. “You don’t need to sound so worried.”

“Oh. Sorry, I guess. Why are you…calling? Is this calling? Yeah, calling. Why are you calling? Over.”

“Dork, you left the radio for me in the first place. I’ve been waiting for you to call me first.”

“Oh, sorry about that. I got a little caught up. Over.”

“Yeah I figured.” She rolled her eyes and bit back her smile as she pictured the blush that must be breaking out across his face.

“Carrie, you need to say ‘over’ when you’re done talking or I won’t know if you’re done. Over.”

“You seemed to understand I was done perfectly fine.”

“Carrie.” Reggie whined, holding out the vowels in her name and causing her to giggle in spite of her foul mood when he followed it with a quick lighthearted. “Over.”

“Fine, fine. How’s the hike going?” She said, before adding her own exaggerated and purposefully over enunciated. “Over.”

“Well, Brydon is convinced he’s discovered a new kind of rock, Charlotte keeps needing to be reminded to not pick the flowers, and Max nearly joined you in the twisted ankles club. Over.”

“Sounds about right for them. If you need help let Chalotte know I still have some pink glitter cord we can make bracelets with later, but only if she leaves nature where it’s meant to stay. Over.”

Reggie laughed. “I’ll pass the message on. Over.”

“What about you? How are you holding up? Over.”

“There’s been a lot I’ve wanted to show you. Kind of wish I brought my camera with me. Maybe we can just come back together later, when your ankle is feeling better. Over.”

He wanted to spend time with her, just the two of them, as well. Carrie hugged the pillow tighter to her chest to counter the feeling of her heart pounding. “God, I love him.” She said out loud, a little shocked to hear herself say it.

Although that shock was nothing compared to realizing that she’d also held down the button to speak on the radio when she had. A simple twitch of muscle since she’d gotten used to the movement during their short conversation.

“The signal cut out, repeat last. Over.”

It was the perfect opportunity to pretend she hadn’t said it. But, well, just because she couldn’t enjoy the lake and woods like she wanted didn’t mean she had to completely deprive herself of things she enjoyed. To hell with ‘but isn’t that too fast?’ What was life without an occasional risk?

“I said I love you.” Carrie repeated over the radio, recognizing the smug tone of Reggie's request a beat too late. She groaned. “You heard me. Over”

“Oh, I know.” he laughed back and she was glad no one else was in the room to have to hide her blush from. “I just wanted to hear you say it again. I love you, too.”

Carrie hid her face behind her hand in spite of herself. Her laugh bubbled out of her chest as he called back over the radio.

“Carrie? You still there?”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I was waiting for someone to say ‘over,’ over.” She laughed, maybe a little smug.

“Well played. I deserved that.” He laughed, before he let out an exhausted groan. “I gotta go. Parker is trying to scale an oak tree. We’ll talk more later? Over.”

“Can’t wait. Over.”

“Me neither. Over and out.”

#JatP Sweet Tarts #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #reggie x carrie

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horsegamesins-old · 2 years ago

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Just a story with my sso oc and her horse, I might continue this but no promises

The sun rose over the tall trees of Mistfall, warming the dewkissed grass and mossy stones. Songbirds slowly broke the early morning silence with a ballad for a new day, and soon again the woods were full of life. I had always loved mornings like this, when I could just sit in silence until the world caught up to us again.

The kettle let out an angry wheeze, signaling the water was ready for coffee. A brief stretch later I got up again and took the kettle off the campfire, then put my frying pan on the grill. "Now.. What to make for breakfast", I muttered to myself, trying to remember what I had remaining from last week. "There's a few eggs left, perfect."

I had just finished my breakfast when the static of my radio hissed on. "Sparrowhawk. Sparrowhawk, do you copy?" I fumbled a little trying to get the walkie-talkie off my belt, "This is Sparrowhawk, loud and clear sir. Over." "We have a report of a lost rider and horse somewhere in the deeper Wildwoods. Can you help us on the search? Over", I grabbed Quicksilver's neck rope and my bags while he was talking. "Copy that, where were they last seen? Over", I respond. "According to the source, they left Firgrove yesterday afternoon in order to cross the Northern Gorge before nightfall. They were headed to a town east of Wildwoods but she has since lost contact with them. Over." My heart dropped when I heard that. I hesitated a little before responding. "Copy that. Sparrowhawk, over and out." Two long and two short whistles, our emergency call. Hopefully Quicksilver would show up soon, but while I still had time it was best to restock my saddlebags. My gut told me this was gonna be a long ride.

After packing extra rations I heard the sound of familiar hoofsteps approaching. Quicksilver rustled out of the bushes just as I turned to greet him. "I came as soon as I could", my friend said. It was obvious he was a bit out of breath from galloping here on such a short notice. "Thank you", I pat him on the neck and offer him an apple, "Sorry to wake you, the rangers called me. It's serious". Quicksilver perked his ears at me, busy chewing on his apple. "Someone's lost in the woods, they might be at the Northern Gorge." I could see him stiffen as I said that. "You're kidding, right?" Quicksilver whispered and finished his treat as quickly as possible. Meanwhile I fetched his tack from the fence and laid the saddle on his back "No, we need to leave right now", I muttered while tightening the girths. Once I was done Quicksilver walked over to the rocks to wait while I put my jacket on, and I wasted no time getting on. "They left from Firgrove, let's see if you can find their tracks." "On it, boss!" he snorted, and we took off. part 2

Sidenote for anyone who read this far, I am open to critique about my writing but please keep it civil. This is also the first time in a long time I have written anything that isn't either Warriors rp or Hetalia fanfiction so I have no idea what I'm doing.

#sso #star stable online #sso oc #sso writing #ssoblr #al's sso ocs

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havethetouch · 2 years ago

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life update

Soooo thing are funky over on my end. A bit. I mean go figure I am trying to sort through my fathers stuff so I can make room for my own and it's been... going. 'S like some stuff goes in the bins (like shoes or socks) and then I grab one ratty shirt and know when he wore it the last time and it takes me back and it's nice but hard and soft n shit. I am glad to have the pressure of needing to move in behind me it keeps me focused. I guess all of that would be harder under normal circustances but I don't do normal so its fine-ish.

Had a situation come up in the fam yesterday because of course we do but it's like the brother of my sworn sister who we got to worry about here which as fucked as it sounds, ain't as bad as all thenother stuff prior. At least here we have a plan and know what to do and nobody died and yes my baseline for maybe freaking out a bit is at this point death and after handeling so many I look at every other problem like something that does not require much panics and stress bc we gonna handle that we got this and everything will be alright.

Which, mind, is a good way to look at shit all things considered.

Anyway I have not yet had the time to move my computer, scanner and stuff I always fill up a luggage when I am at the flat and take stuff with me like some packrat. Still need to check if someone is available to help with furniture and stuff but my aim is to have my stuff cleared out completly by the end of March.

Sorry for the radio silence this move wasn't really planned yet like I stated before but it's a thing now and I gotta roll with that.

On another note, house is slowly getting warmer, it hasn't been heated for a while especially not through winter except for where the waterpipes are and the walls are thick, it was a bit funny having my first workday in a house that had 10.5 degrees I was bundled up with my coffee cup in hands but it was a good morning and good day.

I assumed wrongly that being there would be hard for me, and I mean it is when I go through the stuff of our deceased that has been stored there but it... it already feels like home? Home for me was always more tied to people close to me and living seperate from my sworn sister who is still home to me, seemed a bit wild and unfathomable weeks ago but we both do alright and this house... this house can be home to and I am so glad.

I'm also thankful for my aunt next door (the house is halved basically, we share the attic and have a backdoor connecting our properties) bc having her (and her husband) just a few steps away does help and she feeds me too which is a huge bonus bc I don't have the energy to cook properly and she has a routine going that does help with me not forgetting to eat in general as I'm wont to do.

So all in all, busy days, not always easy but in general things are looking up fine on my end is what I meant to say with all this.

#Touch speaks #life update

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imaginationofomi · 4 months ago

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Come Together

Eleven

The longer she waited, the more Nayeli wanted to go home. The entirety of her week went to other people, and the same would happen once the sun rose the next day. She just wanted to lay in silence for a few hours.

Regardless, she sat in her favorite family owned Italian restaurant, scrolling through TikTok while her dad likely fought with his wife about why he would be gone for the evening. That was only an assumption, but it was the most logical one for why he was running late.

She couldn't imagine being locked in a marriage that came with so many disadvantages. The good clearly didn't outweigh the bad with Maxwell mentioning divorce. It would be his second. Another round of hurt.

Life sometimes made her question if getting married was a wise decision. Too often, couples ended up divorced. While her parents' was amicable, others didn't have the same privilege. Divorce made people angry and bitter. True colors came out. Children suffered.

But she didn't like to focus on the negative. Not when the world was going to hell in a hand basket.

In moments of doubt, she looked to both sets of her grandparents, each married for over forty-five years. Poppy swore he fell in love with Nana Jean all over again everyday. That was what she wanted. PawPaw had his faults, yet he still flirted with Big Momma like it was their first date. Their relationships grew and changed, but the love was always there. She wanted to change and grow in love as well.

The man she chose would also have to be dedicated to the nurturing of their union in all aspects, and the list of prospects was shaky. The current crop of men to choose from wanted the most for the bare minimum, if that, along with having their cake and eating it, too. She would have to sort through mountains of rubble until she found her special rock.

Stomach growling quietly, she fished the lemon wedge out of her water and bit into it, a habit she got from her mother.

"I tried for years to get Bonnie to stop doing that, and all she did was pass it on to you." She heard her father's voice and looked up, dropping the lemon wedge onto a paper napkin and standing to give him a hug, "Sorry I'm late," he said and kissed her temple.

"It's okay." Nayeli rubbed Maxwell's back, "I ordered for us. The food should be out soon. How's work?"

"Been busy. Lot of brush fires the last few weeks. It's worse than last summer."

"Considering how dry California is, I'm not surprised."

"We're supposed to be getting some good rain soon."

"I hope it either passes before or waits until after the Harvest Festival. It sucks getting rained on at the fair grounds. It turns into mud central." She got a headache just thinking about it. Mud in Briton Beach turned to muck and sludge that was hard to get off shoes once it was caked on.

"Yeah, and people start driving crazy. More work for us. You should come by the station. The crew misses you." A decorated fire captain, Maxwell treated the first responders he oversaw like an extension of his immediate family. Nayeli had quite a few "siblings, aunts, and uncles". Some she didn't care for, but she got along with everyone for the most part.

"Maybe I'll stop by with brownies or something. When's your next shift?"

"Tuesday, but I'm picking up a couple extra this week and for the next few months."

"Why?"

"It's time to buy the twins a car."

"They're driving already? My goodness." Resting her cheek on her fist, Nayeli smiled when she saw her father's hazel eyes light up at the mention of her estranged brothers. They very rarely spoke about his second family at the request of his wife.

"Yeah, they're almost as tall as me, too. Jax passed his test on the first try. Jake is taking it again next week. They want to meet you."

That was news to her ears. She'd only seen them once as infants and a picture of them when they first started school. That was the extent of their interaction, and after sixteen years of radio silence, she assumed it would remain that way.

From what she could remember, they looked much like their dad in general. Same fair skin that burned before turning into a tan, sandy brown hair that was almost red. One had Nana's green eyes like Nayeli while the other had hazel like Maxwell. If they were almost as tall as him, they were definitely over 6'0", "Since when?"

"For a while now."

"I wasn't sure they even thought about us as their sisters."

"Cheryl tried to make it that way."

"What's her deal?"

"Only child syndrome. She can't handle being criticized, even if it's done in a nice way, and she's selfish. She's never been told no or had to share, so she doesn't know how and she won't learn. She's always felt like me still taking care of your mom and you guys was a slight to her."

Nayeli scoffed, "A slight how? You've given that woman everything she asked for, even at your own expense and ours." Lost time, broken relationships with her sisters that had to be repaired over the years. Nothing about their family dynamic was sunshine and unicorns.

"She doesn't see it that way. I've been trying to reason with her for years. Every time she's pissed off at me, she packs up the twins, cuts off communication and goes to her parents' house. And every time, I'm afraid she might not bring them back. She's threatened to take them before," Maxwell sighed roughly and pressed his fingers into the corners of his eyes.

"That's why you won't divorce her."

"Yeah."

"If the twins are old enough to drive, they're old enough to make decisions for themselves. They could argue on your behalf in court and make sure that you at least get joint custody. You have a great job, and you're the best dad to all of us. A judge would see that," Nayeli said.

"Even if it were that simple, Cheryl would do everything in her power to fight it. Attorneys are expensive. Divorcing her is already going to be hell. If the boys are away and in college, they won't get caught in the thick of it."

"I'm sorry that this is what you have to deal with. If you do decide to do anything before the boys turn eighteen, you can count on me as a character witness."

Maxwell covered his daughter's hand with his. Parents weren't supposed to have favorite children, but if he were to pick, she would be it with Jaxon right behind her, "Thank you. I never should've left your mother. I thought having boys and carrying on my family name was more important than the family we already had. I love your brothers, but I regret my decision everyday."

"Sometimes a hard head makes a soft rump." As she got older, Nayeli learned just how much that statement rang true, "Is that why you still take care of her?"

"I do that because when I married her, I promised that I would for the rest of my life. She had a career while I was just starting mine and took a chance on me. I wanted to make it worth her while." The divorce didn't mean that Bonnie was any less important to Maxwell. They wanted different things, but he loved her dearly still. More than his own wife. He'd come to the harsh conclusion that he really wanted nothing more than to turn back the hands of time. He should've watered his own grass before thinking it was greener across the street only to realize the lush color came from toxic spray paint.

"It's going to get better, Dad," Nayeli told him.

"I hope so, Baby Love. Do you want to meet Jake and Jax?"

Pausing she gnawed the center of her lips and pressed her thumbnail into her index finger, "I don't know. It feels weird. I don't know what Cheryl has said to them or what they think about me. Have you talked to Maxine and Leti about it?"

"I talked to Maxine earlier, and she said she'll consider it. Leticia didn't answer when I called."

"Why do they want to meet us now?" she asked, confusion lacing her eyebrows together.

"They've realized Cheryl is the problem," Maxwell answered. He was grateful for the fact, but it was making things extra tense in their home, "Jaxon wants to become a pastry chef."

Nayeli's eyes grew wide, head tilting to the right, "What?"

"Yeah, Cheryl flipped when he told us. She thought he was going to the academy with Jacob."

"Plenty of parents don't agree with their kids career choices. Why would that make them want to meet us?"

"It's not that they didn't want to meet you before. They didn't want to deal with the consequences of defying their mom." But they were growing up and starting not to care, "You're the reason Jax wants to go to culinary school. I bought your episodes of Sweet Delight and keep them on my laptop. He watched a couple with me and asked to meet you years ago. Cheryl overheard and claimed that I was trying to turn the boys against her so that I could leave her and they'd want to come with me. She took them to her parents for two weeks."

"What a wacky bitch." Nayeli let out an annoyed huff, straightening her back when Maxwell gave her a look of warning, "Sorry, it slipped." She knew better than to curse in front of her parents, over thirty or not.

"You must've seen Maxine recently." His second oldest always cussed like a sailor, and it tended to rub off on Nayeli when they were around each other.

"Yesterday. I went out with her and Leti."

"It makes me happy that you guys are still close." Maxwell smiled, wishing he got along with all of his siblings.

"I'm worried that'll change when Leti moves."

"Flights up that way are short and inexpensive. You'll still see her. Is she closing down her studios out here?"

"Not that I know of. She said she's going back and forth a lot for the first six months of the year since classes will be slow when she gets there, but I feel like Chace is going to keep her locked up. He did not take their break up well at all." And once they were back together, everything started to move at lightning speed.

"I'm just happy she has a man that really loves her."

"Me too." Because her last was beyond a piece of shit, "Chace is up there with the best of them......so Jaxon really wants to become a pastry chef?"

"Yep. Last Wednesday, he went to the bakery after school to talk to you. He said you weren't there, but he brought some stuff home, and it triggered Cheryl. She told him he wasn't allowed to go back, and when he asked why, she wouldn't say anything other than because I said so."

"That's not an answer. Learn how to communicate with your children. It's not hard."

"He'd agree with you on that. It wasn't good enough for him so he kept asking until she said you're never around and they don't know you."

"Whose fault is that? Not mine! And I didn't realize that we only visit the establishments of people we know personally. So now we have dinner and shoot the shit with the owners of every store we buy from in town?" Nayeli's palms grew hot, and she pressed her lips together tightly, "Your wife has worms for brains."

"Deep breath, out slow. Cheryl may not want them to have a relationship with you, but I made sure you weren't strangers to them. They've seen pictures, they ask about you guys. Jaxon told Cheryl you're family whether she likes it or not because of me. He went to the bakery on his own. We didn't know until he walked in with the box."

"I'm really surprised to hear that," Nayeli said and sat back when their waiter brought their food out, thanking the young man as she put her linen napkin across her lap.

"You shouldn't be. I've done what I could without rocking the boat. The rest is up to you guys. I can't make you have a relationship with them, but I do want you guys to know each other at least. Jaxon made a point. You are family, and I shouldn't have allowed Cheryl to keep you apart. Forgive me for not doing more."

"I don't think there's anything to forgive you for. She's the one with the problem. You did what you thought would keep your home intact. I've never been mad at you for any of it...except maybe choosing a psychopath as a second wife. But I think you've paid for that a few times over."

"I would say that I have." Maxwell reached across the table for Nayeli's hands, and they bowed their heads while he prayed over their meal. Stabbing his fork through pieces of chicken and bacon, he twirled some pasta around the utensil and lifted it to his mouth.

Nayeli was weighing her options. She couldn't think of a reason not to meet her brothers. They didn't hate her like she assumed. They were pushing back against the woman that kept them isolated, but she did want to talk to her sisters first. Picking up her phone, she text the sibling group chat to arrange a family meeting and looked up at her father.

"I'm going to have a conversation with Leti and Max about all of us meeting at once, but if they're not okay with it, tell Jaxon he can come by the bakery again. Jacob, too, if he wants." She would likely be the first to meet them anyway. Her sisters were a lot better at holding grudges than she was. They could include people associated even if they weren't at fault. She couldn't do the same.

"I will." Maxwell visibly relaxed, grateful that after all of his mistakes, things were starting to mend, "Thank you, Nayeli."

☼☼☼

Midday rush provided everyone with a burst of adrenaline. It was needed to keep up with the line that was out the door, a few paces down the sidewalk, and growing. Busy was normal, but there were more people than usual. However, there was no cause for complaint.

Nayeli went beyond and baked extra treats for the day, and everything was selling like hot cakes. She would be leaving soon. The rest of her staff could have a chance to do so as well.

Departing from the service counter, she entered her office and shut the door. Her neck cracked when she stretched it, and she sank into the couch to rest. It seemed like only a few seconds had passed before her phone began to ring and vibrate on her desk. She thought about letting the person trying to contact her go to voicemail. Bad for business if it was an emergency. Luckily, it was only Renée announcing her arrival.

Five more seconds on the couch, and Nayeli was back on her feet amongst her customers. Renée sat at a recently vacated table with two tequila lime shrimp salads and dole whip, eyes flickering until they found her.

"You finally done being mad at me?" Nayeli asked with a half smile as she sat down and pulled one of the salads to her side of the table.

"I guess." Renée playfully rolled her eyes, "I wasn't even mad at you. I'm just tired of everybody coddling Brittany's feelings. She's a fucked up person, and people still kiss her ass to make her feel better. It's aggravating."

"What do you have against her? Because that wasn't the first time you snapped. You showed your ass at brunch, too."

"Like you've never gotten out of character."

"When did I say that? Quickly." Nayeli waited for an answer she knew would never come, "Don't deflect because you know you were a cold bitch for no reason."

"There was definitely a reason."

"Which was?"

Renée was their circle's bone carrier. If there was business to know, she made it her business to find out, and she always ended up in the right place at the right time. She sat on information for weeks, and with no more reason to hold it in, she let the truth fly, "I knew Jeffrey was fucking around months ago. I tried to warn Brittany's stupid ass and the bitch had the nerve to say that I was jealous she had a husband while I was still out dick hopping. All bets were off after that," she said lowly to keep the passerby from hearing their conversation.

Nayeli sat in shock, aware of Brittany's ability to be rude as hell but not understanding why she went there in the first place, "How'd you find out?"

"He was playing happy home in Chuck E. Cheese, tongue touching Dana's tonsils while the kids were at the table eating pizza. I had pictures and everything, Ellie, but I'm jealous of a failing marriage for trying to look out for my friend." Fresh French tip acrylics rattled on the top off the table as Renée began to get upset all over again.

It was unfair of Brittany to react the way that she did. People told her for years that Jeffrey was no good, but she never wanted to hear it. Once again, a hard head made a soft rump. Nayeli started to feel bad for getting on Renée's case the way that she did.

"I can understand why you've shown her no mercy now," she said.

"But."

"No buts. I get it. Do I agree with the way you handled it? No. We're different people, though. What she said to you was messed up." Especially because Renée had proof. Brittany's pride and delusion would cost her more than her relationship.

"Tell her that."

"She's not answering anybody's calls right now."

"I wonder why," Renée said sarcastically and blew a stretched coil out of her brown eyes.

"She's probably grieving."

"The man didn't die. Grieving what?"

"The loss of her relationship. That's a real thing, Née."

"But her relationship wasn't even real. I don't think Jeffrey ever stopped messing with Dana."

"It was real to her, and we all know he didn't. That doesn't make it less painful for her." Nothing would make that wound less painful. Having a person you loved betray you was enough of a stab to the gut. Knowing you contributed to it when you could've gone the other way had to add fuel to the fire.

"Oh well. You lose them how you get them. Dummy probably went back already."

"That is her husband."

"On paper only. What husband do you know spends half the week with his baby momma?"

"Honestly, for a while, my dad split time between houses, but that was to kind of get me used to the fact that my parents were divorcing. Max and Leti took it a lot better than I did. I started having panic attacks."

"Your parents were still sleeping in the same bed and fucking?" Renée asked.

"I don't think so. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it happened once or twice because they really didn't want to get divorced to begin with, but he slept on the couch when he came over."

"We'll call your people the exception to the rule because everybody else is fucking." The truth for some but not all. Nayeli was set to tell her that she needed to stop being so much of a cynic when Renee's eyes suddenly went wide with hysteria, "Oh, shit. How's my hair look? I got a booger? Anything in my teeth?"

"Good and no. What's the matter?"

"You remember that fine ass man I told you about a few months back? We met up at a music festival, had a great time and he ghosted me? He just walked in. Hype me up." She picked up her phone, using the dark screen as a mirror to make sure her face wasn't fucked.

"What is that going to do for you?" The sudden change in mood made Nayeli a little dizzy. It was only seconds prior that Renée was brooding, yet she added a coat of lip gloss and tugged down her shirt to expose more cleavage like she'd never been upset at all.

"Give me the confidence I need to make him feel like he fucked up."

"Or you can sit pretty and unbothered instead of looking like you want to get a reaction out of him. Men sniff out desperation like hounds, and they'll either ignore you or use it to their advantage."

"I don't need sense right now, Nayeli. That's one ride I never got to get on, and I'm sick about it. I need his chest to hurt so he asks me out again."

"I'm all for going after what you want, but he ghosted you after the first date. Are you su-"

"Shhhh, he's walking this way." Renée switched up her posture, lips stretched into a flirty smirk as she lowered her eyelids, and Nayeli readied her feet to leave the table and let them talk. A third wheel, she was not. Other things could hold her attention while her friend tried to charm Mystery Man.

"What's up, Shortcake?" The nickname and voice that accompanied it made her look up. She was on her feet a second later, and Ezra's arms slid around her shoulders. He leaned down, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Hi! I thought you were coming tomorrow?" She hugged his abdomen.

"I am, but I'm bringing Tati. I just wanted it to be me and you today."

"If you don't mind sitting for a minute, my office is empty. You can wait in there."

"Cool."

They separated, and Nayeli looked into the display cases to see what was left on the shelves, "Do you want something to eat?" she asked him.

"You got my cookies?"

"Not until next week, but I have snickerdoodles." He grinned at her and held up two fingers, wiggling them back and forth, "I got you. This is my friend Renée." When she turned around, what should've clicked into place for her from the beginning snapped her like an extra large rubber band popping her wrist.

"How you doin'?" Ezra gave her a short wave that Renée responded to with a quick nod, ego deflated and mood back to brooding. Nayeli felt awkward standing between them and cleared her throat.

"Are you in a rush?" she questioned and took a half step back, unable to go further because he had a hold on her hand.

"I have time. Tati's carpooling with one of her friends to soccer practice."

"Okay, you can go ahead. I'll be there in a bit."

Maybe longer than a bit. Maybe even shorter. She was unsure. Ezra couldn't sense her discomfort, or if he did, he behaved as if he didn't, kissing her fingers before he left them.

"Small fucking world," Renée commented, refusing to look Nayeli in the eye as the latter sat back down.

"Isn't it? I found out Morgan and Angelo know him not too long ago."

"Yeah, that's how I met him." She'd complained to Morgan about Briton Beach being full of duds and needing to venture outside of the city to find a decent man. Morgan's way of rectifying that was setting her up with one of Angelo's friends who she claimed to be a stand up guy. The music festival was supposed to be the start of something beautiful. Her hopes were high. She got ghosted instead and further embarrassed by his lack of a fuck to give, "He didn't even look like he remembered me, and he's obviously here for you, so I'm gonna jet. I've been out of the office for too long."

"Renée, hold on-"

"I'm good, girl. I'll call you later." She left the table without looking back. Nayeli continued to sit, a small twinge of guilt blooming in her chest because of the man waiting for her in her office. Picking up her salad and dole whip, she joined him and shut the door.

"I got something to tell you," Ezra said as she walked to her desk and put her lunch into the mini fridge behind it, "I hung out with your homegirl a few months back. I had no idea you knew each other."

"She told me, but thank you for being honest. I appreciate it." She didn't have to ask or try to lead him to an admission. In her eyes, that was a good sign. Too often, people tried to lie their way out of things when the truth would get them much further. She sat down next to him, tucking her knees and resting her arm over the back of the couch as they faced each other, "You ghosted her."

"She's not my type."

"Then why did you ask her out?"

"I didn't. Angelo's tried setting me up with a few different women. She was one of them. It was kinda a blind date." And he almost left early. Ezra didn't think he asked for much from anyone, but Renée rubbed him wrong from the moment they met up. She was over the top, consistently needed to be the center of attention, and she didn't know when to stop talking. He couldn't stand a try hard.

"In my experience, those never turn out well."

"It didn't. Does this put us in a weird spot?" She hadn't said it, but she didn't need to. He could see in Nayeli's face that the situation bothered her.

"It shouldn't, but it might," she sighed lightly, still feeling guilt but for a second reason. On a count of girl code, she felt the need to leave Ezra alone entirely. At the same time, a failed date didn't make a relationship. Had she really violated the code of conduct?

"Women and your unspoken rules."

"I don't know about unspoken. We speak of them quite a lot, and men have a code of their own. Protect anything with a penis, regardless of the owner's actions."

"Don't lump me in with the rest of them. Niggas are really dumb, disrespectful and disgusting," Ezra said, making Nayeli giggle.

"Truly."

He stared at her like he did every time he saw her, but that time she was looking back at him while he did it. Long lashes fluttered above her freckles as she blinked. His heart was already soft, and she turned it to goo with a simple sound. He grabbed her hand, toying with her fingertips and maintaining eye contact.

"Watch out for your friend," he said, wanting to protect her from any potential problems. Jealousy was a bitch, and Renée wasn't someone he'd consider above the bullshit.

"Why do you say that?"

"She's a real bitter individual, and I know y'all can be territorial when it comes to men. Time spent doesn't matter. Just keep your head on the swivel."

"I will." In the past, she wouldn't have thought that she'd be at odds with a friend over a man, but Renée was temperamental and already showing that the chain of events upset her. It didn't matter that no one in their circle knew of the interesting connection, "Now when you say she's bitter....."

"You think you can hold a grudge? She's worse. All she wanted to do was talk shit about somebody named Brittany. One or two comments, alright whatever, but she wouldn't stop talking and she was loud as hell for no reason. Bad impression to make on a first date. I was just tryna chill and enjoy the music, and she had a problem with everything. You can't be that mad at the world."

Nayeli didn't want to admit it, but that sounded exactly like Renée, particularly on a bad day. She could be unfriendly and downright disrespectful when provoked, but there was more to her, "She wasn't always like that. Renée's been through a lot."

"Everybody's been through something."

"And half the world is crazy for it. She's not a bad person. She's been my friend for years. I know she can be nasty to people, but there are good things about her, too."

"Don't matter to me either way," Ezra shrugged. He knew where to leave that woman, and he did just that.

"Why am I getting the feeling that once someone gets on your bad side, it's a wrap," Nayeli said.

"Correct."

"Any particular reason why?"

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

"Come through with the word, Ezra Angelou," she joked, "I don't disagree with you, but also, people make mistakes. They change. They grow up, and they need the space to do that. Humans are complicated. It's not all black and white."

"True, but you give someone an inch, they take a mile. Second chances make people think they can play with you, and I'm not the one. Dealing with Savannah is enough of a headache. I refuse to take that from anybody else. If I could get rid of her ass, I would."

"Hard line."

"I didn't say anything bad about her. It's the truth." A lot worse waited to spill from his lips, but he wanted to respect Nayeli's wishes so he bit his tongue. However, his face gave away what he was really feeling.

Nayeli scooted closer and touched his arm, "What did she do?"

"She wants to take Tati out of the country for Christmas."

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"She said the same thing last year. I had Tati packed and ready to go, and she cancelled twenty minutes before she was supposed to come pick her up."

Nayeli's heart splintered in her chest. Clicking her tongue, she shook her head and sighed sadly. What kind of mother would do that to their child? Her parents wouldn't even consider the thought. Her grandparents either. She understood that people were built different, but she could not get with anyone treating children terribly.

"That's horrible," she said.

"I know."

"Why don't you guys do a joint trip? That way you don't have to wait on Savannah. Pick a good spot, book the rooms close together, and meet there. She could be more incentivized to show up for a family vacay."

"That won't stop her from bailing if she feels like she found something better to do."

Family didn't mean to Savannah what it meant to other people. Raised by nannies herself, she was used to spending time without her parents. Early on in their relationship, she expressed to him that she hated growing up that way, just to turn around and do the same with their daughter. Her being hypocritical on top of being a spoiled brat kept his sympathy for her at a rate that toed the line of nonexistence.

"But at least you and Tati will be together in a new place. Make so many good memories she doesn't think about the bad ones," Nayeli suggested, running out of ideas to attempt to keep the peace. Well, creating peace was probably a better way to think about it.

"I don't want to get her hopes up, especially because I'm filing all paperwork in January. It's about to get messy, and I want to end the year on a good note." Stressed creased Ezra's forehead and mouth. She felt for him, just wanting to do right by his daughter while her other parent behaved like everything but.

When people heard or talked about deadbeats, it was usually a father being discussed, but she had personal experience with, now, two women that were horrible mothers. She couldn't argue if one was worse. She just knew all the children involved deserved better.

"Everything will work out the way it's supposed to," she promised despite not knowing if she'd be able to keep it.

"You sound real sure about that."

"I know God, and I trust my gut."

"What does your gut say?"

"Justice will prevail."

That could be hard to believe sometimes, but Ezra wanted to be optimistic. It had to be Nayeli rubbing off on him because he always considered himself a realist, "I got a long road ahead of me then," he said.

"You don't have to walk it alone."

"Are you volunteering for the marathon?"

"I signed up weeks ago. You didn't notice?" Heavy conversation took a spirited turn, smiles spreading their mouths and warming the chill of irritation.

"I saw your name at the top of the list, but I thought you might back out."

"I just need a few more months of training, that's all. Oh! And the list of dos and don'ts." The real reason they were in the privacy of her office. Ezra tried to disappear into the couch and dropped his head back, "You were hoping I forgot about it."

"I was hoping it wouldn't matter."

"Why?"

"Because we don't need it."

"Every relationship needs boundaries, Ezra, platonic or otherwise," she said, pulling her hand out of his so she could grab her phone from the desk. She unlocked it and tapped the first note in the list. "I'll go first. I need you to speak up more."

"In what way?"

"Kids are naturally curious. They're going to ask questions, but when it comes to questions about us or anything related, you need to be the one to explain why certain things don't happen or can't. That's another hard line. You've left me scrambling twice when you should've stepped in."

"Twice?"

"At her birthday party when she kept asking me to stay, and the suggestion that you guys come over every Sunday. She pushed back both times I gave her an answer, and you let her. That can't keep happening."

"I wanted you to stay, and I like Sunday traditions," he explained.

"I get that......but I'm not your girlfriend." A somewhat harsh reminder for him, and it wasn't the most pleasant thought for her, either, when she considered his disappointed expression and everything else she had going on.

"A small technicality that won't matter in a couple of months."

"But until that happens, even after, you have to do better. We need to be on one accord and stay there. I don't want to be the person that has to disappoint her."

"My job, huh?" he said before she could tell him again.

"You are her father." A damn good one at that. Shady boots or not, Tatiana adored Ezra. Rightfully so. It was clear that he would do anything for her, and she deserved nothing less. Learning how people should treat her early on would save her tons of unlearning in her later years, "Second thing on my list, she doesn't need to know everything. I do want to be honest with her, but I don't want to confuse her, either. As far as she knows, we're friendly until we figure everything else out."

"I don't know if she's gonna go for that."

"That's where your explanation comes in. Don't let her run over you. Has she said anything about us?"

"She called me out last night."

"First time?"

"The first time was actually here, when we came for the samples."

"That was only our second time seeing each other." Third if they wanted to get technical, but it was the meeting that seemed to have sealed their fate. Or maybe that was the day Jalen came in.

"I couldn't take my eyes off you, and she noticed."

"Kids notice everything." Straight little sponges that soaked up the world around them faster than dehydrated soil, "What did she say?"

"She wanted to know if I told you I liked you yet."

"Awww," Nayeli laughed sweetly, unable to contain her smile, "You haven't."

"Because you already know how I feel about you."

"I do?" she teased and scrunched up her nose.

"Yes, you do."

She did. She thought she did, anyway. She also thought she knew how Jalen felt about her, and she turned out to be royally incorrect on that front. But that felt like comparing apples to oranges. Two very different men that gave her very different feelings, one certainly scarier than the other because of how fast it developed and the circumstances under which it did.

"You know, sometimes I think about our conversations, and it feels like we fell into whitewater rapids from a broken raft with no life vests, and now we're panicking because we're seconds away from smacking into a rock and drowning," she said.

"You're panicking. I'm a great swimmer," he replied nonchalantly. Grinning, she left a love tap on his shoulder, happy to be in the presence of someone that she could joke around with. He grinned back at her, "I love your smile."

"I think I've smiled more with you than I have for a while, so thank you."

"No need. Getting to see it is my reward. As long as I'm here, I'll do everything in my power to make sure you never frown again."

Nayeli took a lengthy breath, chewing the inside of her cheek and contemplating the repercussions of throwing her lips on top of is. The urge was sudden, strong, and unwavering, but they weren't done talking and she was still trying to weave a delicate safety net.

"I would appreciate that. I'm not ready for frown lines, but we should get back on topic. We've strayed a little."

"It's hard to focus when I look at you," he told her.

"Try, please. If we're going to do this, it has to be done right."

"What's right isn't always easy."

"And what's easy isn't always right. I'd rather make a hard decision now than to have to make a harder one down the line." Picking up her phone again, she went back to her list, which was relatively short as her boundaries sat under an umbrella. Ezra's weren't that different, though he mentioned her not being able to discipline Tatiana. She didn't mind that at all. She wasn't her mother nor a mother figure. When they got to the end of their lists, she exhaled with relief and tossed her phone away, "So we're on the same page. You handle the parenting, I'm the fun friend that's around occasionally."

It sounded silly stated that plainly, but each of them had already crossed one line of some sort. They had to work hard to maintain balance while they continued to get to know each other.

"Yeah. Is it alright to pick your brain, though?" he asked.

"About what?"

"Tati. You said you got a degree in early childhood studies, and you're good with kids."

"I'll help indirectly however I can, but I'm not a therapist. I can't answer every question or even confidently say that everything that comes out of my mouth is right. I can only offer my perspective. Don't take it as gospel," she said.

"I think it'd be cool if I did. You don't think in extremes, and that's what I need. Someone fair because I'm going off the edge every time."

"Yeah, let's not do that. One more thing."

"Aw hell." He threw his hands up dramatically and covered his eyes with his arms.

"Stop that. At some point, we are going to have to sit down and talk to Savannah."

There was her maturity again. Grown woman shit that he valued yet despised because of who it was directed toward. Savannah didn't deserve maturity when she couldn't be bothered to do simple shit, "Why?"

"She's the mother of your child. Threat aside, I really don't want to have any issues with her that translate into issues with you." Because baby daddy/baby momma drama was real, and she wanted no parts. Without kids of her own, there was no reason to put herself through the psychological torment, "I'm not someone that likes to create drama or participate in it, and I definitely don't want to do anything that can affect Tati at any point in time. Princess being happy and healthy comes first always." Non-negotiable. She was an innocent child that didn't ask to be born or put in the middle of the adults' mess.

"I'm telling you, Savannah is not around like that. She might bitch when you see her, but other than that, there won't be a problem."

"Didn't you just get through telling me that women are territorial no matter the time spent? I don't even know how long you guys were together before Tati was born, but she's seven now, and you and Savannah are connected for life. If her behavior at the party could be taken as a warning shot, I might be the reason she starts showing her face more. She wasn't trying to get rid of me for fun. We don't enjoy feeling like someone can take our place."

"I don't like the fact that she uses my daughter as a prop. Another woman coming in the picture shouldn't make her want to step up as a mom. That's embarrassing."

"It is. Tati might get a better parent for it, though." That was more important than one-sided beef.

"No, she wouldn't. She'd get somebody trying to overcompensate for the fact that they don't actually want to be around because their ego is too big to bow out."

"You know better than I would, but I'm standing on what I said. We're all going to need to have a conversation somewhere down the line."

"If I get sole custody, it won't matter."

"It always matters."

Irrespective of things like mistreatment and separation, people longed for connection with their biological parents, for answers, for closure. She didn't want to speak out of turn, but she was sure Tatiana would grow up to want the same thing if she and Savannah did become estranged. All Nayeli could do was hope Savannah would grow up and be a parent or hope Ezra and Tati would leave the door open for her to do so in the future.

#black literature #polyamory #black fiction #black love #romantic fiction #romance #love #love story

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years ago

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FAMILY FIRST

A/N: our fav little family has had so many lovely fluffy fics, though i would take it to a bit more serious direction! also, i didn't want the week to pass without a new fic especially since i reached 11k followers which is just absolutely crazy!! so thank you so much for each and every one of you!!

PAIRING: husband!dad!Harry X Reader

SUMMARY: Harry is a great dad, but sometimes he messes it up and you have to remind him that family comes first.

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

MORE FROM THE ANOTHER ONE UNIVERSE | SUPPORT ME!

Harry knows your silence is worse than when you scream and shout at him. Whenever you give him radio silence he knows he fucked up, royally.

This week has been way more hectic than usually. Harry’s been traveling a lot lately, leaving you alone with the kids for days at a time and though you knew there would be times when he can’t be around as much as he usually does, with Leo here it’s even harder than before.

You have help, lots of it actually, Anne, Gemma and your parents are always happy to take over some babysitting duties and you have a trustin nanny as well, but you and Harry have always been the type of parents who like to do everything themselves. Your life is crazy enough already since you’re married to a celebrity, but especially because of that, you want your private everydays to be as normal as possible.

You’ve always been supportive when it came to Harry’s career, but you also made it very clear that you expect him to put his family first. And for most of the time he kept his promises he made to you about being a father first and then an artist.

However sometimes things pile up around him and he forgets his priorities.

He came home just yesterday from LA, his tan is a clear sign he’s been away from his home country. He has a few days at home until he needs to leave again, so it was obvious this time would be reserved for his family and daddy duties. Unfortunately some last minute work came up and he needed to meet up with Jeff and his team in the middle of his time off.

You rescheduled your plans and Anne offered to take care of the cooking which was supposed to be Harry’s task while you’re running errands. In the afternoon he promised to pick Ellie up from her dance class while you get the twins from school, and he was supposed to pick up your dresses from the dry cleaner as well since it was on his way to Ellie’s dance school. This plan left him almost the whole day to take care of whatever work just came up.

But it’s not at all how it happened.

You just got done at the supermarket, Leo strapped to your chest as you carried two bags full of groceries when you got a call from Ellie’s dance teacher.

“Y/N, hi! Sorry to bother, but are you coming to pick Ellie up today?” the teacher asks in the most polite way, but you can tell she’s worried too.

“Oh, my husband is supposed to pick her up, he’s not there yet?” you ask, checking the time and seeing her class has ended fifteen minutes ago.

“No, he hasn’t showed up yet.”

“Wow, okay, let me give him a call and I’ll get back to you, okay?” you sigh.

“Sure!”

You put Leo into his seat and then dial Harry’s number while leaving the parking lot. The line just rings and rings through the speakers since you have your phone connected to them, and then he never answers. You try again, but no luck this time either. You can already feel your headache throbbing since now you have to take care of everything on your own. You give Ellie’s teacher a callback, asking if she can stay there until you pick the twins up and make your way to the dance school. She says it’s fine, Ellie can join in on the class that’s just about to start and wait for you until you arrive. You thank her cooperation and drive just a tad bit faster than the usual to do everything Harry was supposed to do as well.

Harry knows he fucked up the moment he realizes how late it is when he finally leaves his meeting, two missed calls from you fifteen minutes after he was supposed to pick Ellie up. Only two, no more. Some people fear it when they have millions of missed calls, but Harry knows you don’t do that. You reach out once, then give it another go and then you take matters in your own hands.

It’s six thirty, Ellie’s dance class was over at five and the dry cleaner closes at six. He did not complete any of the tasks he was supposed to and he can’t even make up for any of them now.

He speeds down the roads like a maniac as he heads home, cursing under his breath continuously, knowing how badly he fucked up. Your car is already parked in the garage when he arrives and walking into the house he finds the kids finishing up their dinner while you’re feeding Leo from a bottle.

You don’t even look at him when he walks in, but the kids greet him with excitement as always, since they didn’t catch much of the mess-up he caused. The twins were picked up in time and Ellie had a blast joining in on another dance class until you arrived. You made it to the dry cleaners just in time as well, but because of the little extra trip you had to make you only got home about thirty minutes ago, quickly heated up the dinner Anne left for you out on the stove and dinner was exactly on time, luckily. But that doesn’t change the fact that you had to do it all by yourself.

“Daddy!” Maddy cheers and hopping off of her chair she runs up to hug him.

“Hi Princess, sorry I’m so late,” he breathes out, Picking the girl up into his arms and giving her a tight hug.

“Hi dad!” Ellie and Max greets him as well as they leave the table since they finished their dinner already.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m so sorry–” he starts, but you cut him off, still not looking at him.

“Guys, how about you go up to your rooms and pack your bags for tomorrow, hm?”

“Okay!” they sing in unison and you wait until their footsteps die down so that they are out of hearing range before finally looking at Harry.

He wants you to lash out on him, to tell him how badly he fucked up, to scream and shout, but you just give him a disappointed look and nothing else as you put Leo’s now empty bottle down and holding him on your chest you start burping him.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to disappear, I just couldn’t leave that fucking meeting and when I looked at the time it was so late, I’m so sorry!”

Rocking around the kitchen, gently smacking Leo’s back you still remain silent and Harry is starting to panic. He hates your silence, as much as he deserves it, he could scream when you don’t talk to him.

“Please, baby, just say something!” he begs and you look at him again with that disappointed look that completely shatters his heart.

“You were not a dad today, Harry. You were Harry Styles, the singer, the star, but you were supposed to be my husband, my partner, the father to your kids. You made promises and you didn’t just not keep them, you left everything to me and didn’t even take the time to at least let me know.”

“I know, I’m so sorry, baby! I fucked up, so bad! I’m so so sorry!” Stepping closer he notices you don’t back away from him, but when he cups your face in his palm you don’t lean into his touch like you usually do and it’s like a slap across his face.

“I don’t need your apology. I need you to be there when we need you. We decided to start a family together and I told you in the beginning that I don’t want to feel like I’m a single mother. You promised to always put your family first and I accepted that sometimes you won’t be here. We have a support system, I’m not entirely alone, but when you don’t do the things you promise to, I can’t just make everyone stop what they are doing and help me. We are the parents of our kids, Harry. Before Anne, Gemma or my parents, or any nanny, we come first, we need to take care of them, but I can’t do it without you.”

Harry just stands there, completely destroyed, listening to your words, knowing you’re right. He knows he messed this one up badly and he needs to hear this from you.

“Four kids, Harry. We have four kids. Do you not realize how big of a responsibility is just one kid? And we have four, one of them is just a baby. A baby you begged me to have. And you know I love all of our children more than anything, but I did not sign up for this on my own. I need my partner, I need my husband, I can’t do this without you.”

Your eyes are now getting teared up, your lips trembling. You had to be on top of your game earlier with the kids, but now you’re realizing just how this situation made you feel. Before having Ellie it was one of your biggest fears that one day you’d be left alone with all the parent duties because of Harry’s career. Now, you know it won’t happen, but in times like this you can’t help but feel like he is shifting into the wrong direction.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Y/N. This was… I just got lost for a moment, but I know I’m a father and husband first, I want to be that first! Everything else… it doesn’t matter if I don’t have you and the kids. I would give it all up for our family, I love you guys more than anything and I promise it will never happen again!”

Now he is crying too, he pulls you into his arms, Leo still in your hold and this time you lean against him willingly, the tough act is already gone.

“I don’t want you to give it up. I would never ask you that, I just want you to be present when you’re with us, so I can rely on you.”

“I will. And I’m so sorry I disappointed you today. And thank you for being the most amazing woman I know. You always take care of our family, even when I’m being a wanker.”

You laugh through your tears as you adjust the babbling baby in your arms, who has no idea about the conversation that just went down in his presence.

“You really was a wanker today. I wanted to punch you so badly when Ellie’s dance teacher called me,” you tell him, but the anger is now gone, you just want to load it all out on him.

“You know what? Do it. Hit me, I deserve it.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes laughing. Harry smirks at you, taking your face into his hands as he pulls you in for a sweet makeup kiss.

“Ah, okay, so you want to channel your anger in the bedroom, I get it,” he smirks against your lips. “I’m fine with that, we can be rough tonight.”

“Harry Styles, you are such a pig, I can’t believe I married you.”

“I can’t believe it either,” he smiles, taking Leo from your arms. “You’re way too out of my league, why did you settle with me?” he jokes around.

“Because you have a big dick,” you answer with a straight face and Harry did not expect an answer like this, he starts coughing while laughing, adjusting the baby in his arms.

“Alright, I’ll take that, thank you,” he chuckles and leaning closer he steals a kiss, right when Maddie starts crying somewhere upstairs, she probably got into an argument with Max again. “I got it, daddy is on duty tonight. Just go and relax, baby.”

“I’ll clean up in the kitchen,” you sigh, but he shakes his head no.

“Nope, I’m doing that too. Go and watch some Netflix or take a nice bath. You’re off tonight.”

“Alright,” you smile and steal another quick kiss before Harry disappears upstairs to settle the argument between the twins.

The bath sounded nice, so that’s what you do while Harry covers the evening routine like a pro, putting everyone to bed while you have some time to pamper yourself and wash your hair without someone bursting into the bathroom and invading your privacy that’s been nonexistent for about seven years now.

When the kids are down Harry takes a quick shower and joins you in bed, craving to be close to you after such a stressful day. He spoons you from behind, strong arms holding you tight in his hold as he kisses your shoulder.

“I love you and I’m sorry about today.”

“I love you too and you’re forgiven,” you chuckle softly.

“I want to make it up to you. I hope you don’t have plans for Saturday.”

“I don’t, but you do, you’re flying out on friday, aren’t you?” you ask as you turn around to face him.

“Canceled my trip, I’ll do the interview online. I’ve been away too much lately, I want to be here. So, date night on Saturday? Already asked my mum, she can babysit for us.”

“Date night it is then,” you smile before leaning in to kiss him. This is exactly the man you fell in love with, the one you decided to have a family with and the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your Harry, your love, your partner forever.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #dadrry #dad!harry #the another one universe

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theharddeck · 2 years ago

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out of the blue, clear sky (chapter four) // Jake Seresin x Reader

Pairing: hangman x fem!reader (no y/n)

Synopsis: what's a bit of state rivalry between pilots? You and Hangman see each other in a new light after a late night at a dive bar

Warnings: 18+, minors please DNI -- this is a 5 chapter deal and this one is clinging to PG, but it'll ratchet up to E in the last chapter. In the interim, there's swearing, but yeah mostly flagging this because something smutty this way comes

Length: 3.6k

taglist: @peakyrogers @winterrebel04 @blue-aconite @bioodforbiood @kilojulietsierra @dempy @olliepig @double-j @blazinglioness @laracrofted @javihoney @amnmich @smoothdogsgirl @loveforaugust @desert-fern @fuckyeahhangman

A/N: Fun fact, i don’t have a callsign in mind for Kentucky. Like that’s what Jake calls her, but I don’t see it as her callsign? Anyways i think it’s sweet that that’s what we call her too, but just want to be clear that it’s not her callsign… idk why it matters. Also, yes Kaley’s name was originally Callie, then I realized we already have a Callie in canon so I changed it so i’m sorry/hope that wasn’t too confusing!

chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four / chapter five

You were proud of yourself for the fun you managed to have for the rest of the night.

It wasn’t even like there was anything to be morose over– a couple lingering looks, a few more-than-platonic touches? Nothing to get worked up over.

So you shelled out money for a couple more tickets and took a ride on the Ferris wheel with Phoenix and Bob and Payback. You crammed yourself into one of those swirling swing rides to convince Rooster it was safe, and played photographer so Harvard and Fritz could have content for their instagrams. You rolled your eyes when Coyote and Fanboy sauntered back to the group with phone numbers written on their forearms in lipstick, and told the group of you they’d meet you back on base. The evening lengthened in a swirl of old Katy Perry songs over loudspeakers and raucous screams from rides that weren’t even that scary, and finally the group of you decided it was time to call it a night.

It wasn’t until everyone split off in the parking lot that you remembered who’d driven you, and who wasn’t going to be with you on the drive back.

You and Jake were silent on the walk to the truck, and you snuck a glance at him in the moonlight. He didn’t seem withdrawn, per se, and had come back to the group right after you had. Maybe pensive was a good word, or maybe Hangman just always defaulted to vaguely intense, and you hadn’t caught him this late at night yet.

You didn’t realize he had come along to the passenger side until he was holding the door open for you, at which point it was too late for you to tell him not to worry about it. It seemed instinctual for him, like he didn’t recognize what he was doing until it was too late, either. His nose wrinkled slightly as he sniffed, looking over the roof of the car before back at you.

“Force of habit,” he said quietly, but he still held out a hand to help you up into the cab.

“Figured,” you said, as you took it, climbing up.

It was a perfectly chaste touch, and that felt worse than sparks. Sparks would mean something special, something extraordinary, but Jake’s hand felt like normal, like it could be familiar. You hugged the koala against your chest, trying to push away the sensation against the soft fur, as Jake walked around the front of the truck.

It was a quiet drive, and you appreciated that Jake rolled down the windows for some noise. It wasn’t as obvious as turning on the radio, but it did mean the silence wasn’t quite so loud.

The wind was cold, but you welcomed it. It’d keep you awake after the day, and you could focus on something other than the tense energy in the truck. The lights on the freeway blurred together, cars speeding by you, you speeding by cars, and as you got closer to base, Hangman flicked on the turn signal early. You didn’t look over, figuring there was a reason, and sure enough, he pulled the truck off the freeway and into a gas station some 20¢ cheaper than the other stations you’d been passing by.

“It’ll just be a sec,” Jake said, the moment the car was parked, and then he was out of it, checking the pump number before walking quickly towards the convenience store to prepay.

You pulled out your phone and flipped through pictures you’d taken over the course of the night.

Phoenix, Coyote, you, and Rooster, all in an exaggerated sorority squat, your callsigns painted along your cheekbones.

Bob pouting with a demolished cotton candy cone.

Halo and Harvard high-fiving on the backs of horses on a merry-go-round.

You were startled out of your browsing by the vibrating sound of a phone ringing. You frowned at your phone, still silent, and then looked across the bench seat, to where Hangman’s phone was ringing.

You planned to turn it off, just to stop the leather from vibrating, but the name on the screen made you pause for a moment – Kaley Seresin.

Shoot.

You leaned across the seat to see if Jake was on his way back, but he was in line, with one more person between him and the register. You considered running it in to him, but it’d probably time out by the time you made it in, in which case, you’d just hand him a quiet phone, the same way you’d tell him he missed a call when he got back to the truck.

It rang out.

Only to start ringing again. You figured maybe you should run it in, but when you looked back at the store, Jake was at the register, chatting easily with the person behind the counter. The phone rang, then rang out and you held your breath for a moment, before it started ringing again.

Damn it.

“I’m so sorry; Jake’s not here right now,” you said into the receiver. “He’s getting gas and he left his phone in the car; he’ll be right back, and I’ll hand it over to him, I just felt bad that it was going to keep ringing.”

The line was quiet.

A long moment passed, and you pulled the phone away from you ear to see if you’d missed it a third time and it’d gone on to voicemail, but the line was still connected.

“Hello?” you asked again, putting it back to your ear.

“So, what,” a voice said, much younger than you expected, “are you his girlfriend or something?”

You winced, closing your eyes. “Tyler?” you guessed.

Another beat.

“How do you know my name?” the boy asked, voice wavering between suspicious and pleased.

“Your Uncle won’t shut up about you,” you said, figuring the kid would respond better to that than outright flattery. He hummed, considering.

“Well, his life’s pretty boring,” he said. “Just work and stuff.”

You smiled, in spite of yourself, amused by a teenager who thought hurtling million-dollar aircraft through the troposphere as just work.

“Between you and me,” you said drily, trusting that more than whatever conspiratorial airs people tended to put on around children, “he could use a life.”

The kid snorted, then he seemed to think of something. “Are you a pilot too, then?”

“I am, yeah,” you said. “But I promise, I’m much cooler.”

The door to the convenience store swung open and you waved for Jake to come over as soon as he stepped outside. He frowned at you, slightly, looking over his shoulder before waving back at you uncertainly.

You bit back a curse for the sake of underage listeners, and rolled your eyes giving up.

“Where are you from?” Tyler asked. “You talk funny.”

That was fair.

“A little place called Bardstown,” you said.

“Bardstown?” he repeated dutifully.

“It’s the second oldest city in Kentucky,” you told him, like that was even remotely interesting. “We have 11 distilleries within 16 miles of the court square.”

You tapped on the glass as Jake walked by, but he held up a placating hand, like he was going as fast as he could. He walked around to the back of the truck and flipped open the gas cap, starting to fill up the tank.

You sighed, settling back into the seat. “Your uncle’s ignoring me,” you informed Tyler. “I want the record to show that I tried to be a good operator and hand over the call as soon as I could.”

“S’okay,” he said, and you could practically see him shrugging. “What kind of distilleries?”

“Bourbon,” you said, wondering if you were the peer pressure parents warned their kids about. “Uh, but there’s an African American heritage museum in town, too. And a train museum and a couple old churches, so, like, edifying stuff.”

“You probably should’ve led with that, huh?” he asked, and you went back to petting the koala.

“Yeah probably. Hey, Tyler, any good names for a koala?”

“A real one?”

“What?” you scoffed. “Buddy, I just told you I’m a pilot.”

“Eh, I guess,” Tyler said, sounding disappointed. “Can you even have a koala here? Is that, like, legal?”

“Pretty sure it’s illegal everywhere,” you told him.

“That sucks. So why do you have a not-real koala?”

“That’s a great question,” you muttered, before shaking your head. “Regardless, it’s like two feet tall and very soft, and it needs a name.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“Wilson,” he decided.

You tilted your head at the koala; that’d do.

“I like it,” you told him. “Like from Cast Away?”

“What?” he sighed. “No, like Captain America.”

“Is that my phone?”

You jumped when you realized Jake had opened the truck door, leaning in from where he was still pumping gas.

“Is that my Uncle?” Tyler asked.

“Yep,” you said to Tyler, realizing it answered both of their questions. Into the phone you said, “Now that we’ve finally got his attention, I’m gonna hand you over now, but it was nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too,” he said. “I won’t tell him about the bourbon thing.”

“You’re a gentleman and a scholar,” you told him, then held out the phone to Jake.

“Did you answer my phone?” he whispered, and you held out the phone emphatically, telling him to take it. His mouth twitched and he hit mute on it, raising his eyebrows and waiting for an answer.

“It rang like 17 times,” you whispered back, even though the line was technically muted. “I planned to just send it to voicemail then I saw Kaley’s name and then it’s Tyler so I didn’t want to just be like ‘yeah he’ll call you back’, so I–”

Jake put the phone up to his ear. “Hey, ace,” he said and it was your turn to raise your eyebrows at the way he pitched his voice, sounding almost friendly.

He made a face at you, leaning out the door and shutting it while he finished pumping the gas.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t know,” he said, his voice getting louder as he turned back to look at you, and you calmly fluffed Wilson’s hair in one direction, “I think it’s a weird saying from some great American novel or something.”

“Catcher in the Rye,” you muttered, not that he was listening. “Salinger’s grandad was a rabbi in Kentucky, by the way.”

“No, she’s not my—” There was a bang, and Jake shut the cap cover. “Well, she’s not. Look, was there a reason you called?”

You elected to ignore the first part of his response, instead enjoying the duality of Jake’s interaction with his nephew. His voice was callous, but there was an undercurrent of deep care, that you were sure the kid could feel across the line.

Jake fed the gas nozzle back into the stand, wiping his hands on his jeans before he got back into the truck.

“Okay, fair, I’ll text your mom back,” he said, holding the phone against his shoulder and rubbing his hands together, cold from the pump. You were wondering if you should get out of the truck to give him a minute, when Jake reached down to start the engine.

“No, no, I appreciate it,” he said. “What do I always tell you?”

The truck was quiet for a moment, as Jake waited for a response.

“Damn straight,” he said, after a beat. “Even if it’s midnight out there, okay? You call me, I’ll answer.”

The moment was sweet, suspended, and when you looked over at Jake, you saw something simple on his face. When he felt the weight of your eyes, he sat up a little straighter, clearing his throat.

“And if I’m not around,” he said calmly, “I’ll get my secretary to pick up for me again.”

You swung Wilson without preamble, and Jake lifted an arm to protect his face, laughing to himself.

“Yeah, don’t worry, she heard and she’s mad,” he chuckled into the phone. “Okay, tell your mom I’ll text her your grandma’s address as soon as I’m back at the base. Speaking of which, I’ve got to drive us there, so I’m gonna hang up.”

He paused, waiting for the kid to say something, and he looked over at you.

“He wants to know if you actually like the name Wilson,” he said, and you nodded honestly before Jake lifted his hands in exasperation, making a face that couldn’t be seen through the phone. “Well, how was I supposed to know that?? You said to ask her, and you expected me to just telepathically know, when you said—Okay, I’m hanging up now. Yep, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, love you too, ace. Bye.”

Jake hung up the phone and tossed it into the cup holder, pushing the truck into gear and easing her out of the gas station. As the fluorescent lights faded, you glanced over at him. The coming and going streetlights lit him like roving spotlights on intervals, and he squinted through them like he was on an Old Hollywood red carpet.

“What?” he asked.

You pressed your lips together, caught. “Ace is a cute nickname,” you said.

Jake smiled, an easy, fond thing. “He’s the tops,” he said, with honesty in his voice, and you felt your heart flip at the quaint expression.

He looked over at you, and you looked away quickly.

You weren’t far from the base, but this silence was lighter than it’d been most of the night. Jake guided the truck into the lot, parking it with a row of other trucks near the back, where they’d have more room to back in or out of spots.

You pulled Wilson back into your lap when the engine shut off. Jake shifted in the seat, and you felt him look over at you before getting out of the car, jogging around the front of it to get your door.

Now why’d he have to do something like that, when you were determined to bury this clearly fruitless crush?

But you smiled your thanks when he opened it, ducking under his arm and hauling Wilson with you. You waited for him to close the door behind you and moved to step around him, but were stopped by a hand on your side.

You looked down, surprised, and Jake’s hand dropped a moment later. He turned slowly, deliberately, so his back was to his truck and you could walk by if you wanted. You weren’t caged in, you could leave, walk up to the barracks and not look back.

But you couldn’t.

When you looked up at him, he was leaning back, his back against the truck now, like he needed the clear air above his head, and he rubbed a hand along the back of his neck before he looked back at you.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said, quiet.

Your pulse jumped, but you ordered it to be steady, drawing in a calm breath and lifting your chin to meet his eyes.

“What part?” you asked.

He opened his mouth, then closed it. He looked at you, and a hand came up to push at the rim of your baseball cap, just slightly so it tilted up. His finger trailed from the cap down the side of your face and you tried not to shiver at the lightness of his touch. Or maybe it wasn’t the touch, is was the emerald intensity in his eyes as they followed his hand down your face, curving under your jaw before he pushed himself away from the truck.

He was moving slowly, so slowly, and you knew he was giving you time to move, but you didn’t want time, and when his finger crooked your chin up just a little more, you surged up on your toes, pressing your lips against his.

In an instant, his hand slid from your chin to the side of your face, holding your jaw to pull you towards him. His mouth was soft, gentler than you’d expected, and as he brushed his lips over yours, he tasted like cotton candy. Your lifted a hand, your fingers settling around the wrist of the hand that framed your face, and you could feel his pulse pounding inside his wrist. You felt him pull in a slow breath against your cheek, and he pulled back a bit.

Because of your hat, he couldn’t rest his forehead against yours, but he didn’t let go of your face, his thumb stroking across your cheek.

“Not that part,” he said, his voice low, and you felt your ears heat. His eyes flicked over your face as you blushed, harder to see in the low light and over the tan of your skin, but he saw it all the same, and his hand fell from your face as he pulled you into his arms.

You tucked your head into his chest, Wilson squished between the two of you, but Jake didn’t seem to mind. He shifted slightly, and you felt him press a kiss on the side of your hat, before his chin settled on top of it.

Your nose wrinkled at the silliness of the gesture, but it didn’t stop the warm feeling spreading through your chest. His arms felt steady around you, in the shadows of the parking lot, and you felt him draw in a deep breath.

“That George Strait song, at karaoke,” he said, words hesitant but carefully chosen, like your kiss had given him enough certainty to push through whatever he had to say, “I didn’t realize it until it was too late, when I was walking over to you, and I couldn’t stop…I thought singing it like a joke would be almost as good as telling you.”

For a moment, you wondered if maybe you’d gotten whiplash on one of the rides you’d gone on tonight; there was no way Jake was saying what you were thinking he was saying.

“I get carried away by the look, by the light in your eyes. Before I even realize the ride I'm on, baby, I'm long gone. I get carried away; nothing matters but being with you and, like a feather flying high up in the sky on a windy day, I get carried away.”

You pulled back slightly, to look up at him, and he loosened his arms to let you go. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” you asked, no reprimand in your voice, just wanting to know.

“What, are you kidding?” he asked back, his voice just as quiet, then he shook his head, a smile pulling at his lips, but his brow furrowing. “You’re like cartoonishly good.”

You frowned. “What happened to “I’m very good,” energy?”

“That’s different,” Jake said, like it was obvious.

“You’re saying I’m a bad pilot?” you teased, not wanting to go down the path of comparison in another sense.

“That’s not what I said,” Jake said hastily, then he sighed. “I just mean you’re like Bob-levels of Nice Person.”

“I notice you don’t compare me to another pilot,” you muttered, not actually upset about it, but clinging to that vein of conversation.

Apparently Jake wouldn’t be deterred either.

“You wake up early to make coffee for the whole squad,” he said. “You always sit on the left, so that Fritz has desk space for that left-handed notebook of his.”

You blinked; you weren’t sure how he noticed that.

“That’s efficiency,” you said. “I’m up anyways and nobody wins if people’s notes are crowded off the table.”

“You got us all organized to send that card and flowers to Mav after the anniversary of Ice’s passing.”

“It was Rooster’s idea, and you know it,” you said, and Jake looked like he was going to keep going, which you weren’t going to just stand here and accept.

“Literally just today,” you said, “you sent Fanboy in to get me on the pretense of needing a sweater so Halo wouldn’t feel like anyone forgot the excursion she’s been waiting on for weeks.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah, well–”

“You leave the lights on in the hallway for when Coyote and Harvard come in late.”

“They’re too noisy if I don’t,” he mumbled, like that could convince you he wasn’t waiting up to check that his friends made it in safe, as if Coyote hadn’t told you months ago.

“You made yourself a sure thing for your nephew,” you continued. “This kid across the country who knows he can call you, any time of the day, and you’ll be there for him.”

Jake shook his head. “That’s not the same.”

“You’re right,” you nodded. “But it’s caring, Jake; it looks different on everybody. We do the best we can, we hope it’s enough, and maybe, if we’re lucky, someone notices.”

You were both silent for a moment, stubborn and determined, eyes searching each others’ in the parking lot. Jake looked away first, clearing his throat.

“Do you feel lucky?” he asked, in a voice uncertain enough that you could cry.

You wouldn’t, but you could, could break down in tears over the man who seemed determined to convince everyone he was callous and soulless, but was really so terrified of hurting someone.

“I do,” you said, simply. “I do, yeah.”

You thought Jake might kiss you again, but instead he just pulled you back into his arms, tighter than before. You went easily, the arm that wasn’t holding Wilson snaked around his waist to hug him back.

You could feel Jake’s cheek resting on top of your hat, and his hands were clutched on your back—not caressing or soothing, just holding, needing this more than both of you had expected. So you smoothed your hand up his back and nestled your face into his chest. One of Wilson’s paws was digging into your stomach, and you would bet that Jake would have stitch-marks from the rim of your hat on his cheek, when you both let go. And there were still questions to be answered, explanations to be had, but you stayed there, in the cold, a little more certain than the last time you’d stood in this lot.

It’d been a long time of waiting.

You could wait a little longer.

next chapter

#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #hangman x you #hangman x reader #hangman fanfiction #jake hangman seresin fanfiction #i have zero patience and so i'm posting this now #pls don't let it flop lol

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mackenzielovee · 2 years ago

Text

parenthood part sixteen: dissension

a/n: hello ! happy sunday and a super special happy birthday to @imobsessedsblog ! i hope your day is amazing! please leave me some love if you can and enjoy <3

warnings: swearing, heartbreak, tears

ambivalence masterlist , parenthood masterlist

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you heard from Topper or Sarah. Not for lack of trying, of course. The day Topper left your house after the beach day, he’d been gone exactly three hours before you got a text from him. Two simple words, but enough to shatter your heart in two.

It’s over.

You’d responded immediately — and sent him about a thousand texts since then — but hadn’t heard a thing back. You also texted Sarah, who didn’t respond either. Rafe reached out to both of them as well, but only got radio silence in return. He’d also reached out to Rose and Ward in hopes that they’d know where Sarah is, at least, but they don’t.

The days turning into weeks of silence from your best friend only make you sad. He’s been your rock for years; getting you through every single challenge and there to offer a hug and a kiss on the cheek at the end of it. Now, when he needs you, he runs off.

You still text him everyday, and Rafe watches you from across the room as you stare at the screen full of unanswered text messages. Without even being asked, Rafe takes the brunt of the work for the kids while you wallow in your worry. You’re not surprised, but you are thankful, and you tell him so every night before you show him.

On the morning of the fifteenth day of no Topper, you climb out of your empty bed and stumble out into the kitchen to make coffee. Josie is asleep on the couch, which has become her routine with Rafe for the last few months. She gets up and comes downstairs before he leaves for his run just so she can give him a hug and a kiss before he goes. He claims it’s the best part of his day, knowing it would usually lead to a cute pout on your lips. Instead, you just give him half a smile and then get lost in your head again.

“Morning, baby.”

Rafe’s voice shocks you out of your head and you spin around, eyes raking over his sweaty body. He gives you a faint smile, as if trying to assess your mood.

“Morning,” you rasp, listening to the coffee maker come to a halt, “Your girl is asleep on the couch again.”

“No, my girl is standing in our kitchen, worrying to death about something she can’t control,” he corrects, raising a brow as he nears you, “Come here.”

Your lips tip up as you shake your head, “No. You’re all sweaty.”

“You’re afraid of a little sweat?”

“Kinda!” you cry, laughing when he throws himself around you anyway.

He chuckles and squeezes you tighter, pulling his head back so he can take you in. Once you stop squirming to break free, your eyes meet his and you furrow your brows.

“What?” you ask.

“Missed that smile,” he confesses.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, “I’m just worried about him.”

“I know, sweetheart. He’s probably taking this time to work out what he’s lost. He’s gonna need us soon, I know that.”

You nod, knowing Rafe’s right but not necessarily wanting to admit it. Instead, you cuddle into him and rest your chin on his sternum, puckering your lips for a kiss. He gives you one, and just as he starts to smile, you speak.

“I’m afraid,” you tell him, “I’m afraid something bad happened. Sarah’s always been a bit of a wild card, so I get this behavior from her. But, Top? He’s never disappeared this long. It has to be something major.”

“He’s okay,” Rafe says again, “He just needs some time.”

You just nod and bury your head into his chest, doing your best to let it go. You breathe Rafe in instead, letting him calm you down. It almost works, almost, when the sound of your sweet girl’s voice comes tearing through the house.

“Uncle Topper.”

Your eyes close under the two simple words. Rafe tenses against you, but lets his hand travel up and down your back to keep you calm.

“Josie, baby—” he starts, but her voice stops him.

“Uncle Topper’s outside!”

You perk up, yanking away from Rafe and meeting his eyes for a split second before you hurry out into the living room. Just as Josie had said, Topper slips into the house, using his key, and smiles when he sees Josie.

“Hi, my angel,” he greets her, lifting her up for a hug.

“Hi, Uncle Top,” she smiles, “Missed you.”

He purses his lips and nods, emotions evident at her words. You stand by the stairs and take him in with Rafe pressed to your back, sure he’s doing the same. He’s smaller somehow; his hair is a mess and he definitely hasn’t shaved since the last time you saw him. He looks hungover and sad, even as Josie paws at his stubble and leans in to give his jaw a kiss.

“I missed you, too,” he whispers.

For the first time since he entered, Topper looks up at you. It isn’t until you see his eyes that you realize how much he’s been going through in the last two weeks. He looks destroyed. Even worse, he looks as if he’s given up.

“Hey,” he says roughly, “Can we talk?”

You nod quickly, feeling your throat constrict as you swallow down your thousands of questions. Rafe’s hand meets your hip, and you watch as Topper tips his chin up at your husband.

“Let’s sit,” you speak, barely able to get the words out as you gesture toward the living room.

Rafe guides you down onto the couch while Topper settles into the armchair with Josie. She cuddles into his chest as if she can sense that something’s wrong, and you know it is when Topper pulls his wallet out of his pocket.

“Twelve hundred, right, Cameron?” Topper asks, fumbling with a handful of cash.

“What?” Rafe asks.

“Twelve hundred,” he repeats, tossing the pile of cash down on the coffee table in front of the two of you, “That’s how much you lent me for the ring. There it is.”

Your eyes widen as you look for Rafe for an explanation — one where he actually tells you that he lent money to Topper and you don’t have to hear about it after it clearly doesn’t work out. Rafe’s eyes close and he puffs out his cheeks, then slowly exhales.

“Why are you giving that back?” Rafe asks, still not willing to look at either of you.

Topper laughs, then leans forward and covers Josie’s ears with his palms, “Didn’t work out.”

Josie squirms and shoves Topper’s hands from her ears, then turns around and glares at him. To apologize, he leans forward and pecks her forehead.

Rafe’s eyes open then, but instead of facing the music with you, he keeps his eyes on Topper.

“Where’s my sister?”

Topper swallows, “Fuck, she’s— sorry, baby. Don’t say that word. She’s in Boston.”

Josie furrows her brows and sits up tall in his lap, reaching her hand up and petting his scuff the same way she was earlier. Rafe squirms uncomfortably, desperate to know more about why Sarah is in Boston and not here.

“Where’d you go?” Josie asks with the pout that makes Topper melt, “You left me.”

Immediately, Topper shakes his head, “I would never do that, Josephine. You’re my girl. My only girl.”

“What about Aunt Sarah?” she asks.

Topper’s eyes meet yours before he looks back at her, and you can tell he’s biting back the response he wants to give. Instead, he paints a fake smile on his face and pulls her closer.

“She wasn’t the one for me,” he explains, “But you know who is?”

She grins, “Me.”

“Correct,” he smiles, “And I promise, I will never leave you. Are we okay?”

She nods happily, standing up on his thighs to wrap her arms around his neck.

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you, too, angel.”

You shift in your seat, needing desperately to know what happened but not wanting to push him away from Josie. Rafe pats your leg, signaling that he’ll take Josie and leave the room while the two of you talk. You give him a small smile, and just as he stands, Connor comes down the stairs.

“Uncle Top!”

You sigh internally, but smile when you see Connor dive over the armchair and into Topper’s lap. Topper smiles and embraces him, immediately asking him how he is and to catch him up on everything. Rafe sits down again and puts his arm around you, kissing your temple gently as you accept waiting your turn.

By the time the kids calm down, you’ve had two cups of coffee and your leg continues to jump up and down. Topper looks over at you and sighs, then sits up and repositions Josie.

“Hey, angel, I’m gonna talk to your mom for a bit. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Josie looks over at you in hesitation, then nods, “Okay.”

You stand up when he looks over at you, then sets her down in the chair and stands from his seat. You stand too, giving Rafe a hesitant look before you squeeze his hand and follow Topper out to the deck.

Silently, the two of you sit down. You balance your half empty mug on your thigh and squirm, working up the courage to look over at him. He keeps his head down in his lap, hands gripping the arms of the chairs tightly.

“Did you get my messages?” you ask weakly.

“I did,” he replies, not looking up, “All thirty-two of them.”

You purse your lips to hide an embarrassed smile, watching him as his own mouth tips up at the ridiculous number.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“Don’t be. I was acting like a tool.”

You watch his eyes flicker up to yours, and before either of you can say another word, he gives you a real smile. You visibly relax in your seat at the sight of his smile, convincing yourself that maybe things aren’t as bad as you’ve been thinking up for the past hour.

“What’s in Boston?”

His jaw shifts as he exhales, “She got a job up there. Claims she wants to put her Communications degree to work in a place that’s not surrounded by water.”

“Oh,” you nod, “But, you’re not going with her?”

“Y/N,” he sighs, shifting in his chair and tucking his head into his hands, “It’s complicated.”

You lean forward, wrapping your hand around his forearm to pull his hands away. He looks over at you, his eyes swimming with tears, and sniffles.

“I can handle it. What happened, Top?”

He swallows roughly, staring at you for a moment before he speaks.

“We broke up,” he states bluntly, but you know he’s not through, “She’s pregnant.”

Your jaw drops as your heart sinks into your stomach, looking at him as if to find some silent explanation on how that news could lead to a breakup. When he doesn’t elaborate, you puff out your cheeks and exhale slowly.

“Why—I mean, what—”

“What does that have to do with us breaking up?” he guesses, shaking his head as he chuckles sarcastically, “Well, she’s pregnant, and she doesn’t want a baby. She says we’re not ready. She, uh, found out she was pregnant three weeks before she told me, then came to me with a pregnancy test and an adoption pamphlet.”

You swallow, “And you said—”

“I said,” he continues, “We’re getting married soon, and I’m scared, too, but we can do this. She said no, things escalated, and then she threw the ring at me.”

“Top,” you whine, “I’m so—”

“She’s keeping it,” he interrupts, “But she doesn’t want to be a mom. She said she’ll respect what I want if I respect what she wants, too. So, I’ve spent the last two weeks deciding between being a single parent or giving my child up to strangers.”

Your eyes well up with tears as you try to even imagine being put in such a place and coming out in a good headspace. You’re sure you’d look even worse than Topper does, and even that is being generous.

You reach out and grab his hand, covering it with both of your own. His jaw shifts as he holds back tears of his own, looking at you just as you start to cry.

“I’m so sorry, Topper. That’s a really tough position to be put in. Do you want to talk about it? Figure out your decision?”

He shakes his head, “I’ve made my decision.”

Your throat constricts as you suck in a breath, feeling as though you’ll never be able to get enough air in.

“Oh,” you squeak.

He squeezes your hand and gives you a small, sad smile, “It’s my baby, Y/N. I’m not just going to give them up. And, yeah, maybe a nice couple would be really good to the kid, but I’m their dad. I can do this. I’m just, um — I’m gonna need a lot of help.”

You grin, sniffling and trying to keep your tears in. He laughs when you nod and pull him in for a hug, squeezing him so tight that he has to know you believe his decision is the right one. He chuckles, and when he pulls back, you wipe the stray tears from his cheeks.

“I’m so happy for you,” you whisper, “You’re gonna have a baby, Top. That’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

“Thank you,” he answers.

“I mean it. You’re going to be great. This baby doesn’t know how lucky they are.”

His eyes flutter closed at the words coming from you, fresh tears falling at the motion. A million questions flow through your head, but you don’t ask any of them. You just sit with him, letting him breathe in his new future.

“I have to talk to the kids,” he eventually says, nodding his head in the direction of the house, “I have to go to Boston for a while. I need to take care of her while she’s pregnant. I just don’t want them thinking I’ve left them. My heart will always be here with those two, you know? They’re the kids that made me realize I want my own.”

You smile, “They love you so much. So do I. I know this situation isn’t how you thought it would happen, but I think you’re doing everything right. I’m just sorry that it’s not what Sarah wants, too.”

He clenches his jaw, “It was. That’s why I proposed. We talked about living here and having kids and building a life together. And then Boston came along, and she just changed. I don’t even want to think about why.”

“Topper,” you say weakly, “You have been amazing to her. Her change in behavior had nothing to do with you, I’m sure of it. I really thought things would work out between the two of you this time.”

Tears fall from his eyes again, but this time, it’s different. He nods in silent agreement with you, taking in shaky breaths to try to collect himself.

“I did, too,” he confesses, “But, selfishly, I’m glad my baby will be half Sarah. She’s the first girl I ever loved, you know? Maybe she won’t be the last, but at least I’ll have a piece of her for the rest of my life.”

Before you can help yourself, you set your mug down on the ground and pull Topper up, begging him for a hug. He wraps his arms around you and squeezes you tight, letting himself cry.

“You’re a good man,” you whisper, “We will be here for whatever you need. I promise.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replies, voice thick with emotion, “You’re my best friend.”

“You’re mine, too, Top.”

You hug him for a while, hoping that if you squeeze tight enough, you can push those broken pieces of his heart back together. When he finally pulls back, he lets you wipe the tear streaks from his cheeks and then gives you a smile, his silent way of telling you that this helped him.

“When do you have to go?” you ask.

“Tomorrow,” he says, “I want to be there for all the milestones. I don’t wanna miss anything more than I already have.”

You nod, trying and failing not to let your disappointment show. He lets his hands find yours and squeezes before he nods in the direction of the house.

“Want me to get the kids?”

He nods, “Yeah. Could you, um, talk to Rafe? It’s his sister and I just— I can’t do it.”

“Of course,” you reply, “I’ll be right back.”

He releases you and watches as you take a few steps to the door. He waits until your hand meets the doorknob to speak again.

“Y/N,” he calls, “I love you.”

You smile and turn around, “I love you, too.”

He returns your smile and lets you escape back into the house, taking the minute alone to collect himself. You walk into the living room to find Rafe and Connor on the couch together as they play a game on Rafe’s phone, while Josie plays on the floor with Connor’s stuffed dinosaurs.

Rafe looks up at you when you enter, and just as you collide with the blue in his eyes, tears start to well. He tenses and stands, rushing over to you without a second’s worth of hesitation.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” he asks.

You shake your head and give him a fake smile as you sniffle, then look over to the kids, who stare at both of you.

“Guys, Uncle Top wants to talk to both of you outside,” you tell them.

“Okay,” Connor answers, rising from the couch.

He reaches out and takes Josie’s hand, leading her toward the back door. You wait for it to click closed behind them before collapsing into Rafe, letting your emotions overwhelm you.

“Shit, baby, hey,” he whispers, “Hey, it’s okay. Let’s sit.”

He pulls you over to the couch and helps you sit down. You reach up and wipe under your eyes with the tips of your fingers, doing your best to compose yourself for his sake. He’s patient, as you expect, and brushes the hair away from your face as he waits for you to speak.

“Sarah, um,” you sniffle, your voice cracking slightly as you continue, “She got a job up in Boston. She’s staying up there, and, well, she’s pregnant.”

“She’s pregnant?” he repeats, his eyes wide, “But they’re— he said—”

“I know,” you nod, “She doesn’t want to be a mom. At least, not right now.”

Rafe’s lips part as he takes in the new information, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his brain. His hand falls to your thigh as he collapses back into the couch, running a a hand through his messy hair.

“Shit,” he mumbles, “So, what’s going to happen with the baby?”

Your eyes close, “Topper’s going to raise them. On his own.”

You can feel Rafe tense, but your eyes remain glued shut. Rafe’s grip on your thigh tightens, a silent beg for you to state your opinion before he explodes with his own. You swallow while he shifts his weight, letting out a shaky and angry breath.

“What the fuck,” he hisses, “She’s just gonna not be in her child’s life? Forever? She’s giving up an engagement and a baby for a fucking job?”

Rafe stands as he raises his voice, which is the only reason you allow your eyes to open once more. You stand with him and cup his cheeks in your palms, trying to calm him down.

“It’s her life, Rafe,” you tell him, “It’s her choice. If this is what Sarah wants, we have to respect that.”

“Fuck that, I don’t respect anything about her abandoning a family,” he spits.

“Rafe,” you sigh, “She’s not abandoning anything—”

“Bullshit, she’s not. I’m gonna go call her right now—”

“Stop it,” you demand, grabbing onto his wrists, “You can’t make this choice for her, and you’ll only drive her away if you yell at her. She’s an adult and she’s made her decision. Topper’s okay. Sarah deserves to have a career.”

“She deserves to—”

“Rafe,” you stop him, “I’m sure this was a difficult decision for Sarah to make. But she made it alone, and we have to respect that. Just because you disagree with your sister doesn’t make her wrong. Please. Let’s just both take some time to cool off before we say anything to anyone.”

His jaw is clenched tight as he stares at you; evidently fighting every desire to dial up his sister and scream into her voicemail. Instead, he takes a deep breath and lets it all out, then pulls you tightly into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “Didn’t mean to yell.”

“I know,” you reply.

You clutch him tight, pulling his shirt into your fist as you breathe unevenly against his neck. You two remain like that for a few minutes, not wanting to break the silence with more discussion about Sarah, and break away only when the back door opens.

Topper carries a crying Josie inside with Connor in front of him, who looks sad but is attempting to hold it together. Josie’s arms lock around his neck and her little sniffles sound from the crook of his neck. Connor immediately walks over to you and holds his arms up, letting you pick him up and hold him tight.

Topper doesn’t look much better, in fact, he looks gutted. He doesn’t attempt to put Josie down or even make her feel better, he just continues to kiss the top of her head every now and then.

“I’m sorry,” Topper says to you, and when he finally works himself up to looking over to Rafe, his frown deepens, “Look, Rafe—”

“You have no reason to explain yourself to me, Top,” Rafe says, keeping his hand on your waist, “You’ve got all my respect.”

Topper’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, “Thank you.”

Rafe nods, then steps over to the coffee table and picks up the cash Topper had left there to repay him. Folding the bills in half, Rafe holds them out to him, nodding when Topper shakes his head.

“You’re my brother,” Rafe says, shifting his jaw to prevent his emotions from showing, “Babies are expensive. Take it. We’ll get more to you whenever you need it.”

Topper shakes his head again, “Rafe—”

“Take the money, Top.”

With a tight grip on Josie, Topper grabs the money and stuffs it into his pocket, as if hurrying will mean he doesn’t have to accept it. With a nod to Rafe, Topper turns and looks down at the girl on his chest, heart visibly breaking at the sight of her.

“Angel, I’ve gotta—”

“No,” she whines.

Topper’s eyes close as he lets his lips meet her forehead, urging her up.

“Come on, Jo. Let me see those eyes,” he presses. Pulling back, she looks up at him with her best puppy dog eyes, earning tears from Topper, “There they are. My favorite girl in the whole world.”

“I can go to Boston with you,” she proposes, “I’ll be extra good, I promise.”

He smiles, but it’s tainted with more tears, “I know you would. But your Mommy and Daddy would miss you too much.”

Connor looks up at Topper from his place on your shoulder, “You’ll come home for my birthday?”

“Of course I will,” Topper promises.

“Mine, too,” Josie insists.

“I promise. I’ll call a lot, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

“Come here. I love you so much, my angel,” he whispers to her, pulling her close.

Josie starts to cry again, and you’re not at all surprised when Topper hands her off to Rafe to avoid breaking. Connor squirms from your arms and runs into Topper’s, clutching him tight.

“I love you, Uncle Top,” Connor tells him.

“I love you, too, buddy. Call me whenever you want to, okay?”

Connor nods, “I will.”

The four of you walk Topper outside to his truck, where he receives another round of hugs from each of you. Rafe hands Josie off to you and sticks his hand out for Topper to shake, but is quick to pull him in for a hug.

“You’re gonna be a good father,” Rafe tells him, “Because you’re a good man.”

You give Topper a hug after Rafe and make him promise to call more than once every two weeks, and just like that, he’s gone. Although you feel like collapsing into nothing right there in the driveway, you regain composure and walk inside, gripping onto Connor’s hand for dear life.

The remainder of the day is spent holding the kids close and making sure they understand that Topper has to go, and that he’s not leaving them. Both of them seem sad in their own way, but by the time they fall asleep on both you and Rafe, you figure that they’re sad because they see the sadness in you.

Rafe carries them both up to bed for you, telling you just to rest for a bit and he’ll be down soon. You let your emotions get the best of you once he’s out of the room, and you cry for Topper for a few minutes, Then, you regain control of yourself and cover up with a blanket, letting your mind work as you stare off.

Part of you, like Rafe, wonders how Sarah could make such a choice. Another part of you wants to stand up for her until the end. You’re sure a million thoughts went into her decision to end it and move. Maybe she’s not happy here. Maybe she’s not happy with Topper. If she’s not ready to be a mom, to make a lifelong commitment that will impact her every day, well, you can understand that. Sarah deserves the option that men get every single time they see a positive pregnancy test — to be involved or not. You refuse to crucify her over something that nobody would bat an eye at if she were a man.

Rafe finds you like that when he comes back downstairs; wrapped up in your own head and cuddled into the couch. He walks past you initially, and when you hear the familiar clanking of mugs in the kitchen, you smile to yourself.

He returns a few minutes later with two full mugs of hot chocolate — and about a million marshmallows sticking out of each one — then hands one off to you. As he sits, one of his arms comes around you while the other holds his mug. You collapse into his chest and inhale his familiar scent, letting it wash away all feelings of worry or sadness.

“She just left,” Rafe sighs, talking about Sarah, “She packed up her shit and left without saying goodbye.”

“I’m sure she’ll come home to visit and stuff,” you mumble.

“I don’t care about that,” he grunts, “She left our children, Y/N. Without a care in the world.”

You shake your head, “I’m sure it’s not like that—”

“It’s exactly like that. Sarah’s selfish at heart. This whole mess proves that. And she can put on her little show and play us all, but this is always how things turn out with her. I mean, shit, you remember how she was.”

“Of course I do, Rafe,” you sigh, “But you can’t hold that against her for the rest of her life. You’re not your worst mistake, either.”

He grows quiet at that. You sip from your mug of hot chocolate and lean into him, trying to simultaneously calm him and yourself.

“I just can’t imagine choosing a career over my family,” he whispers.

You nod to show him that you understand his point, “People are different.”

Rafe nods his head, and silence overcomes the two of you again. Your eyes start to pull closed, exhausted from the extreme emotions you’ve had to feel over the course of the day.

“We have to help him,” Rafe says, “In every way. He’s gonna need it.”

He reaches over and removes your mug from your hands, which allows you to wrap your arm around his chest and fully cuddle into him.

“We will,” you reply.

He chuckles to himself and kisses the top of your head, shifting minimally to place the mugs on the coffee table before cuddling back in with you. He fixes the blanket over both of you, then pulls you in closer.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he says quietly, “Thank you for everything you’ve given me.”

You smile, “I love you, too, Cameron.”

He laughs, and before you know it, the sleep pulls you under. You don’t even object when you wake up at four in the morning with Rafe cuddled on top of you, face buried in your neck as he softly snores. You just press a kiss to his forehead and close your eyes once more, thankful that even if you have to deal with temper tantrums and laundry and lost toys, at least you have a partner to do all of it with.

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