#Also more screaming about autism will come
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¤ŕźâ rizz? oh, you mean my autism?
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彥 synopsis: jjk boyfriends' ways of loving an autistic reader.
characters: satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo, toji fushiguro, hajime kashimo.
bella's note: my new year's resolution? to be way more self-indulgent!
.á.á KENTO 'QUIZ TIME' NANAMI
The first time it happened, Kento assumed you were way too focused on work to cook something before you were about to faint. The second time, maybe you were distracted. From then on, it was a pattern Kento couldnât unsee.
Arms shaking as you cook. Changing the shower temperature when your skin is burning hot. Only washing your glasses when they are so dusty he could draw on them. Waking up on the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
You only listen to your needs when your body screams.
THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: âDo you need a drink?â â âHave you eaten anything? That doesnât count.â â âWant me to close the curtains?â â âCome clean your glasses with me. I could clean yours, but you would need to clean mine. Thatâs what I thought.â â âDid you pay your bills this month?â â âHave you watched that movie you told me about?â â âAre you going to bed or Iâll have to start undressing? Oh, so now you hear me?â
.á.á CHOSO 'ACCIDENTAL MIME' KAMO
Choso wouldâve never noticed if you hadnât got mad at him. Mocking you? of course he was not! Thatâs so mean, Choso would never do that to someone he loves.
You have this habit. Of repeating words or phrases others use. Choso thought it was sweet. It showed that you were paying attention to every conversation. He started doing the same for you to know that he was listening, too.
Choso wouldâve never understood if it wasnât for Yuji. Echolalia. You werenât doing it on purpose. It was automatic. What he saw as a habit was something you have no control over. When Choso started doing the same, you thought it was his way of saying âstop that, youâre bothering me.â
Once Choso explained himself, it was your turn to think it was a sweet habit.
THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: âSorry, sir, I didnât mean to.â â âChoso, youâre very beautiful. Wait.â â âCan you shut up? Sorry.â â âDo you want to go out? I would love to.â â âFuck that. Hey, Yuji, donât use those words.â â âBabe? Yes?â
.á.á SUGURO 'SOCIAL CLUES TRANSLATOR' GETO
People, most often than not, will say things without actually saying them. The first time the meaning behind someoneâs word were completely lost once they reached your ears, Suguru thought it was amusing. But then he understood some think itâs only logical to blame you for not getting what they chose not to say.
Arguing with someone unwilling to change their ways is pointless. If they donât want to communicate with others, so be it. Suguru would pity them for wasting their chance of knowing you, but he prefers when you spend your time with him.
In important events, Suguru will tell you what to expect. Out with friends, he may warn you about someone not being very happy. Oh, the countless times Suguru was the one to explain that âno, honey, they didnât mean it literally.â
Suguru would rather not being called tutorial mascot by his partner, but if youâre happy⌠so be it.
THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: âHyperbole.â â âI think that was her polite way of spitting on his face. It gave me chills.â â âI also donât know what he meant by that.â â âSheâs definitely lying.â â âNot literally.â â âShit. Satoru will ask me to give a speech. You will pretend to be sick? ... I love you.â
.á.á HAJIME 'TELL ME MORE' KASHIMO
Hajime WILL know about all your special interests. You have no say in this matter. He wants to know everything about you that there is to know. After all, what is love if not seeing the other and accepting them entirely?
He prefers to do it while he trains. Hajime will practice his techniques with your voice to sooth his muscles. Donât matter what is on your mind, he wants to hear it all. A specific actress, some movie you saw, penguins? Lovely, keep going.
It's endearing the way you know so much about what you love. Makes Hajime want to ask you what you know about him. Just to check.
THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: "No, no. Please, keep going." â "And that was created when?" â "Your voice is enchanting." â "How did you discovered that?" â "I think, when I was young, I read a book that mentioned this." â "Talk to me. I want to listen."
.á.á TOJI 'HUMAN FURNACE' FUSHIGURO
Toji knows how to read someone. It's useful. If he can understand their desires and fears, then he knows what to expect. When it comes to you, what surprises Toji is that he uses this skill to help instead of getting something for himself.
He learned to read you. To understand what your body tells without the need to hearing it from you. Toji understands when something makes you upset, mad, uncomfortable. Even when you're drowning on your emotions and nothing else makes sense: Toji knows you.
And what he learned is that, to silence your mind from all those confusing thoughts, something bigger against you can be distracting enough. To be more exact, to have Toji against you. On his lap, between his arms, beneath him on the couch.
THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: "I'm warm? How sweet of you." â "Can you hear me now?" â "You feel like you canât breath? I'll let you go when you get sure of that." â "How's your mind now? Too crowded?" â "Forget about them. Just look at me. That's right. It's you and me, nothing else matters."
.á.á SATORU 'DEFENSE ATTORNEY' GOJO
Has someone been harsh to you? A boss ignored your rights? A doctor diminished your requests and questions? You know who to call: Satoru Gojo, your beautiful, funny, interesting, inteligent, kind, considerate [50 adjectives later] boyfriend!
Satoru WILL fight anyone that tries to disrespect you. Donât matter who, donât matter why. He's ready to throw hands (or cursed energy, to specify). It can be your mom, he doesnât care. No one messes with you.
But he also defends you in more pacific terms. He will give whole ass lessons to people that tried to argue with you. He will keep talking until they get it right. If someone tries to embarrass you, Satoru is embarrassing them. He doesnât care about anyone. If they were able to make you uncomfortable, than they are able of dealing with some discomfort too.
THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES: "Well, actually..." â "I understand what you're saying. Completely. But you're wrong and I will tell why exactly why." â "Say that again." â "You must think you are so funny." â "You think so? Ok, sit down. I'll explain it all to you."
Š all rights reserved to MADWOMANSAPOLOGIST
#madwomansapologist#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#choso kamo x reader#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#suguru geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#hajime kashimo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#suguru geto#geto suguru#autism#actually autistic#autistic adult#autistic things#autistic nsft#hajime kashimo#choso kamo#kento x reader#jjk kento#nanami kento#choso x reader
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ok. masking. letâs go.
[plain text: ok. masking. letâs go]
(specifically masking in autism - there probably other disabilities this can apply to but no guarantees. so only write what know, aka autism)
to simply it a bit, personally see two part to masking:
1. ability to mask
2. whatever struggle/thing, can be masked
1. ability to mask
it a skill that depends on many other skills
think most people will able see it as ability to suppress behavior & instead do something else (to appear more âsocially appropriateâ). like stop body from stim & instead sit very still. stop self from say something that may be rude or blunt n instead say it in more indirect way or say compliment instead. n it true, that is ability to mask
but ability to mask also depend on many other more basic skills, n because it basic, sometimes people forget they actually skill & others struggle with it, n instead see it as given, as nature, almost take for granted. before can do the thing in previous paragraph, other skills need have:
awareness of self - that you exist, awareness of what you doing
(n if able aware, also the ability control what you doing & impulse)
awareness of others - that they exist, that they have thoughts you not see
awareness of surroundings - that, you not just in own world
n, if have all of that, understand âneedâ or feel need or pressure for masking. at least some conscious or subconscious idea or feeling about what supposed to do & what not supposed to do. n ability to remember it. ability act on it. (all related but separate skills.) some autistic not able explicitly name it or tell you, but have internal sense of âthis feels wrong even though donât know why,â & that still allow them to mask
n many others am forgetting at moment
2. whatever struggle/thing, can be masked
think people forget about this part often: that even if assume have expert ability to mask (#1), there some things that. just canât be masked (at all, or cannot mask all of it). because they (for not have better word) so extreme, or simply cannot control
for example. there no way really mask fact am nonverbal (as in, cannot mouth talk at all. all the time). no matter what do, cannot just. mask n suddenly say mouth word (then wouldnât be nonverbal).
n say this simplify because. real world much more muddy more nuanced than can be say in clear linear bullet points n equations. some times, is mixture of both. not that clear divide.
many level 3 / severe / whatever language they use for self / etc people, move their body all the time, make sounds all the time, grunts screams etc. not really able control it, because very significant sensory needs that come with their level 3 autism. n not able to control it, not know to control it. sometimes both.
or, like awareness of other people - if not able to, then canât mask it (#2). but it also prerequisite skill to masking to appear more âsocially appropriateâ, so cannot mask if donât have skill (#1).
*
so, get annoyed when level 1 (& sometimes 2) high masking autistics say difference between them n someone like me (cannot mask & level 2/3 nonverbal), just masking. that if they unmask,
masking often really negatively affect mental health. make you stressed, on edge, confused about who you are (it actually me or just my mask?). n sometimes it become so a part of you you cannot drop it. yes. and same time true:
B1. masking is protective. is coping mechanism. is for safety. or else wouldnât start do it first place. you mask n spend that energy n put up with its cost because feel like on some level, would not be treat as well or with as much dignity & autonomy, will be bullied n hurt even more than already is. n for some (especially BIPOC), masking literal one of reason they alive, not wrongly convicted or suspected of crime because suspicious behavior, etc. something can be both protective & harm. it up to you decide if it worth it.
B2. high masking not always mean other people not able tell. high masking not mean you treated well all time or not get treated badly at all or not go through anything said in above paragraph. it just mean that. you would probably be treated even worse if not masking.
B3. ability choose to unmask (yes, even if hard), not same as not able mask at all (involuntary not a choice) in first place. able switch between mask n unmask, even more so. you at advantage some of us not have.
B4. like in B1, not everyone can afford unmask. n for every person like that, imagine there someone in similar situation, except they cannot mask (reason #1 or #2 or both). what will happen to them? what happens to them? what happened to them?
no, you wouldnât be like us (who unable mask in first place because level 2/3 autism, high support needs, severe autism, whatever language we use) if you unmasked.
there also difference between unmasking & finding your authentic self & how you naturally act. n pretend to be like us, copying us, someone you not, by choosing to do stereotypically visibly autistic things because it make you feel more validated. that no different than mocking n faking. we not your cosplay. (yes this actually happens.)
n no, donât mean anytime you hand flap youâre copying mocking visibly autistic people, or you picking up AAC device âeven if you can speakâ (but you struggle) is copying nonverbal people. understand this is process, that sometimes when mask so long not know what feel natural anymore who you are or arenât anymore, so you pick up n experiment different things.
fundamentally, is it helping you? that should stay. is it make you become another person you arenât, going in opposite extreme direction? that shouldnât.
*
anyway.
a lot time you see people who not able mask, we level 2/3 / moderate & severe autism / higher support needs (etc language we choose for self), which make us not able do both #1 & 2 (both not have ability to mask, n have struggles that cannot be masked fully or at all). struggling with more âbasicâ stuff needed for masking like awareness of self others n surrounding, often happen together with other symptoms n struggles that too big or significant or severe to mask.
this why you rarely if ever see anyone like listed above who also appear high masking â even if we can mask, our struggles often too significant to be fully masked over. n many of us canât mask, we not have prerequisite skills to mask
but, not all people who not able mask are higher level higher support needs higher severity.
sometimes some people may have some masking abilities (have some #1), but have struggles that cannot be fully masked (#2).
sometimes, they have struggles that many other high masking autistics can mask (have #2), but they have low or no masking abilities themselves (donât have #1).
AKAâ
not able mask =/= not always mean higher level higher support needs higher severity autism
lower support needs level 1 autistics =/= not always equal high masking
there lower support needs autistics level 1 autistics who low or no masking!
masking ability not always correlate with levels & support needs & severity!
wow that long winded. glad we got back to where started.
[do not debate severe autism & autism levels etc language we choosing for ourselves - if you donât like it for yourself cool then am not talking about you]
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Hi, can I just say I love your character studies/essays on the Super Mario characters, especially from the movie. I don't know if you accept requests, but I was wondering if you could do an essay about Luigi being autistic. Luigi is my most favorite character of all the Super Mario characters (my second fav is Peach) and I hc him as autistic because I'm autistic, so imagine my surprise when I first saw the movie and his attitude and mannerism just screams autism. Don't know if it was intentional, but either way I'm happy they made him autistic.
Thank you! This took longer than expected, but I've broken down the essay into two main arguments for Luigi having ASD:
Part 1: Difficulties Socializing
The first and most obvious thing that people point to when suggesting Luigi (Movie Luigi in particular) is on the spectrum is his social interactions. As sincere and kind as his words usually are he shows a repeated inability to read tones, register figures of speech, or understand social nuances.
And while it's not stated explicitly, it's also hinted that Luigi struggles with controlling the volume of his voice. In the movie he gets inappropriately loud when emotional or excited, and in the Luigi's Mansion games he gets quiet and mumbly to the point that he can't get a word in. In either case, it's another sign that he struggles to understand and adapt to social communication in ways that come naturally to neurotypical people.
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So, while Mario is inclined toward team sports and games that involve large groups, Luigi favors solitary activities. In a flashback in the movie he's shown keeping to himself, preferring to play with building blocks on the playground alone. Details in his bedroom imply an active photography hobby, and in the games he's shown to be an avid reader and skilled mechanic; two other hobbies in which one has plenty of alone time and full control over the pace of the activity.
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Part 2: Sensory Issues & Motor Function
Speaking of pacing, it's very common for people with Autism to need to work at their own speed, which is often quite slow as autistic individuals demonstrate a bias for slower deliberative processing over rapid intuitive processing. This might be part of the reason why Luigi so often drags his feet when he's in a new location, and is teased by E. Gadd in the Luigi's Mansion games for being "sluggish."
And while his clumsiness can easily be waved off as just silly comic relief, it must be noted that most people on the autism spectrum have altered motor coordination, and studies show motor skills are substantially lower in autistic children when compared to their non-autistic siblings. Furthermore, one of Luigi's most defining characteristics is how fearful and anxious he is, and 40% of autistic people experience significant anxiety throughout their lives (Luigi's fear of lightning and loud noises may imply some level of auditory sensitivity as well.)
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Then there's the way he moves. In the movie Luigi repeatedly stands with his arms tucked to his chest and his hands balled into his fists; a posture colloquially referred to as "T-rex arms" in the autism community, and is commonly believed by experts to be a form of stimming.
His stimming is far more blatant in the games, especially in the Mario & Luigi RPGs and Luigi's Mansion 2, where Luigi is repeatedly shown swinging his arms, rocking on his heels, and twiddling his thumbs.
So while Luigi definitely has a love for exploration and a strong sense of empathy that defies a lot of the stereotypes of autism, there is a really good argument to be made that he is on the spectrum.
#askbox#anon#long post#this took longer than I intended but#here ya go#Luigi#super mario bros#super mario brothers#Mario Movie#mario headcanons
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Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human
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Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like itâs weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isnât that weird?
Well, of course it depends on the way itâs done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.
Because some people donât understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer âautism! Autism!â whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Hereâs a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. Iâm not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think itâs notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, itâs even more alienating to not know that thereâs a reason why youâre different, being gaslit that youâre ânormalâ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you werenât âwrongâ all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma youâve built up over time. Like itâs world shattering.
So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though weâre right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world.Â
Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesnât diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very âMy experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead Iâll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring wayâ.
âI was treated like a failed human my entire life and youâre surprised that my response was to become a dog.â -Patricia Taxxon
Itâs literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many, I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why heâs everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isnât super long though.
To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.
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Paper:Â https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027Â
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âDogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groupsâ, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didnât get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since itâs a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.
For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they donât really mask how they feel, itâs direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions.Â
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Thereâs also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you donât have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dogâs ears!
I think thereâs def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so itâs not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a âI like sleeping besides animalsâ situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. Heâs just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they werenât all that compatible and he accepted that.
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There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.
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More about autism & empathy:
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https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/Â (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.)Â
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^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/ For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the âanthromorphizing and asdâ section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I wonât get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi itâs not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldnât typically do with a friend or family member. Iâll talk about qpr and labels another day though.
I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, âcis by default because I donât care all that much but if I were to dig deeper Iâm probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/womanâ sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairiesâ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, itâs weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laiosâ character. Itâs because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.
Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that youâre friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that itâs also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dogâs way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.
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Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like youâre doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.
And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying âYouâre sick and tired of the human worldâ. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isnât as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.
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Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because theyâre socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that theyâre not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. Itâs idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.
And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more âwhyâ then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but itâs all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.
So when I post this
I mean it. I really mean it when I say heâs me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly.Â
Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think thatâs a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.
If you enjoyed this youâll probably like some of my other Laios analysis! Hereâs an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And hereâs an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#character analysis#i guess#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#spoilers#autistic laios touden#asd#autism representation#meta#draft so old it uses the old Tumblr post editor#it would be much better if i could put them side to side rip#i also wanna do an analysis trying to pin down his level of social awareness#i love that the monster story epic saga about misfits and your place in the world on an ecosystem level is just sooo autistic so perfect#this post has a weird structure but hopefully it can showcase some things and make ppl understand and others relate! I know we're out there#hiii therians how we feeling today. Brain chemistry is weird but ours is just wired different not broken#feeling self-conscious bc even with studies this is the equivalent of going 'trust me bro I get it' which usually doesn't go well with us#Humanity is beautiful <3333 Humans are social animals broski love yourself!!!
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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 6
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Propaganda:
Kiriwo -
"Seems innocent at first and he's just a guy with a special interest in magic items, but watch out."
Arjuna -
"MASKING KING!!!!!! ok joke aside one of his biggest things is that he's super scared that if anyone gets too close to him they'll notice he's not perfect/has a 'secret darkness' (that's literally just a guy) and overall a lot of his storyline is a strong parallel for being neurodivergent and becoming more comfortable with accepting it. he's also super strict and hard on himself for any sort of failure that isn't in line with what's socially appropriate but at the same time he doesn't always have a good grasp on what that is which is how you get stuff like him blowing up a forest to try and impress someone. it also runs in his family bc his brother is autistic as hell too."
Sherlock -
"God, where do I start? I mean what Holmes adaptation, even if he's not the main character, would this be if he were not autistic coded? And our combo of autism and ADHD is absolute perfection, all tied up with a pretty, excitable face. Hit him with the crime hyperfixation and do not make him wear socks."
Apollo -
"Not canonically autistic but he has ZERO volume control plus he scripts/repeats stuff (âIâM FINE!!!â), sometimes mimics other peopleâs speech patterns (like replying âjaâ to Klavier), sensitive to loud noises (stayed backstage at a concert cuz it was too loud) and bright lights (complained about the stage lights being too bright at the same concert + screamed when opening the hatch to the bright stage at magic show), and has been really into space since he was a kid, which could definitely be a hyperfixation (not to mention how he read every single one of Phoenixâs old case files back when he admired him). Plus heâs a little TOO normal, to the point where it circles back around to making him the odd one out, which is absolutely what masking feels like for me. Even when he tries to be fun and weird he gets strange looks/made fun of for not being weird in the right way. The list of autism symptoms is just a checklist for him at this point."
Heiji -
"90% of the cast in detective conan is autistic but heiji is the most autistic of them all."
Urara -
"Another alien who is so excited to dance with everyone that he does not understand that his intended purpose of inviting people to dance via water communication is brainwashing them into dancing and is causing extreme chaos. He nearly causes an apocalypse by being so excited about dancing but he apologizes and tries to make friends with Yuki at the end of the story. He is extremely soft spoken and try, finding it difficult to begin conversations and fidgeting."
Shu -
"speaking specifically about the first season but he was the "explains everything so the audience knows whats happening" guy. he was pretty antisocial (not sure if thats just how he was or if he lived alone [which was fucked up cause he was 11]) . im trying to think of more but my brain goes hghghhhggggh im just a big fan of him."
Vash -
"ainât no way iâm the only one whoâs submitted him. go look at the gif of him crawling in the dirt like a bug while he dodges bullets and get back to me."
Hyakkimaru -
"Due to a terrible curse he has lived his whole life without several body parts including his eyes and ears. Because of this he is often overstimulated and awkward in new situations (when he doesn't do what he does best, killing monsters and samurai with his sword arms) He can't say or express much, and often comes off as strange and creepy, but he is actually a cutie patootie full of emotions, has a big heart, a keen brain, endless inner strength and loves the people close to him! This adorable, cursed, demon slaying boy deserves everything!"
Kei -
"He has the tbh face. Also he canonically has sensory issues and gets sensory overload. He constantly wears earbuds. He has an extremely rigid sense of morality and considers himself a savior figure. He has a hard time relating to other people and is a bit awkward in his interactions."
#tumblr polls#autistic anime boys poll#prelims#kiriwo ami#welcome to demon school! iruma-kun#arjuna#fate grand order#sherlock holmes#moriarty the patriot#apollo justice#ace attorney#heiji hattori#detective conan#urara#tsuritama#shu kurenai#beyblade burst#vash the stampede#trigun#hyakkimaru#dororo#kei miyama#paradox live
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I'm gona explain to yall why I think Stanley is the one that's ace aro in cannon and not Ford or Bill. (Yes all head cannons are vaild blah blah I love acearo people I am one don't kill me)
So basically it comes down to if stan wanted some he could. Young stan seems to be considered relatively conventional attractive (not like ugly men don't mange to hook up but still) and even as a "ugly" old man he is the hottest old person in town befor Ford shows up and. Once he gets over his social awkwardness he is actually able to date he just isn't about that life. "What about Stanley's ex wife's" I hear you scream at your screens well thanks to Bill I have notes.
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Thank you bill now could be lieing yes but frankly I don't think his god Alex would let that happen for something like this. Especially becuse it's way funnier if it's all cannon. Now I think 2 of them can be considered legitimate and there not exactly romantic are they. Stanley is well known to care more about money than any romantic relationship witch dosnt sound like some one who's not aro to me. I'll give that there are a couple jokes pokeing wholes in my theroy however personaly any atemps at straightness by stan just feel very performative to me. Like there's something a whole easy to about how stans masculinity is just a reaction to incurity but all I'll say for now is stan is despite to prove he's not a failure and part of growing up in the 80s and not being a failure is geting bitches. And yet he can't comit to a relationship for more than a few days and it's not for commitment isues bitch comited to a fucking portal for 30 years AFTER NEARLY FAILING HIGHSCHOOL. As I said if he wanted to he would.
Now I'm going to go on a long rant about Bill and Ford so if you don't want that stop now
Ok for the record staring off bill and ford are both unreliable narrators.
Ford (my first victim)
We've seen him get rejected twice in the show when he trying to flirt with girls the more famous one being when he gets punch thrown on him. Ford is a very scentive guy he can't handle rejection obvouly he's gona wax poetic about how it's not that he can't get any he's just you know so very busy. Funny how he's not busy when Bill comes into his life or fiddleford for that matter it's almost like that's not the problem
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Now I can see how you can read this qa acearo core but all I hear is the autism talking. There is something intently funny to me about the idea that he stright up was dating a male sided demon and is like but am I gay. It's very conservative up bring of him very relatable. But seriously if he was ace aro he'd just lean into being superior not what ever this is.
Bill ( he wouldn't escape me)
Same thing yeah he wax poetic about chemicals witch yeah is something ace aros do but also like incels.
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He literally is just asking dear not to ask him out a real problem when every freak reading this book wants to make out with him sorry Bill your hot shit.
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The book is shaking you by the shoulders begging you to tell that he's lieing for clout. Bill is also begging you to take him seriously and he can't be serious if he can't even get any becuse he's a unlikeable losser.
Like I'm sorry guys the text just dosnt suport these 2 being acearo this is not the show for ace aro rep I'm sorry. This show is actually really really really obsessed with romantic relationships it's a well Alex keeps going back to witch is why I'm so sure about stanly becuse he's like the one character who actively rejects dating instead of just saying he's into into it. ITS GRAVITY FALLS EVERYONES A FUCKING LIAR.
#gravity falls#book of bill#bill cipher#billford#bill x ford#stanley pines#stanford pines#pines twins#old pines twins
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hiya! Might be a bit broad of a request but could I get headcanons with jj x autistic female reader ?
Broad in the sense if I could get hcs of her reacting to reader with autism, how she helps reader with overstimulation and struggling with social cues and noise. If you wanna throw in smut hcs (jj being the dom) iâm also fine with that!
Basically anything with jj and autistic female reader, thanks!
I love this request so much!!! If you want smut/smutty hcs with JJ and autistic reader, definitely feel free to send in a separate request - I will come back for that in another post. For now, I hope you enjoy this!!
Requests are currently - OPEN.
Jennifer Jareau x Fem!Autistic!Reader (Headcanons)
(Warnings: typical CM themes, the reader is described as touch avoidant (with some exceptions); mentions of molestation and murder (related to a case, mentioned in passing); mentions of blood, mentions of someone being shot in the reader's presence. Idk, I don't think there's anything else. Not proofread.)
JJ was raised around everything (neuro)typical, so when she meets you, she doesn't quite get you. Not at first.
You are one of the smartest people on the team - that is why you're there. Your ability to pick up on patterns and bits of detail that others don't see is incredible, and your brain holds mass amounts of obscure information that she could never even dream of knowing.
But you are quirky. More than quirky.
You have difficulty making eye contact, you freak out if someone even motions toward touching you unexpectedly, you have very odd, specific little rituals with your snacks and meals (which JJ does come to find endearing over time) - you go from talking at incredibly fast speeds, blabbering out information to being silent and stoic for long periods of time.
When she finds out that you have autism, she is a bit surprised. She is one of those people who thinks that autism is a disorder related to school aged boys - but you explain to her how it affects your life. How it makes it difficult for you to relate to people, form close friendships, how it's difficult for you to focus on larger 'important' things when smaller details are bothering you.
(It's one of the reasons you're so good at your job - but it also makes it hard to focus on people's words if their shirt is wrinkled and it's distracting you.)
You act cold toward most people on the team, and it's one random day that JJ finally starts to figure you out. A day that you finally warm up to her.
You were helping Morgan escort a suspect out of the police station, to a squad car where he would be driven to jail to be processed. He had confessed to molesting and killing eight boys after being caught with a ninth, and when the father of one of the boys heard the BAU had arrested someone, he came to the police station with a gun.
When the suspect was shot, you were covered in his blood, and in horrible shock from hearing such a loud bang right beside your ear - from feeling the sudden dead weight drop in your arms.
You ran back into the station screaming, and JJ followed her instinct - followed you into the women's washroom, wanting to see if you had been hurt. She was surprised to see you pacing back and forth in front of the sinks, muttering something under your breath.
"L/N." She called out your name, trying to get your attention. "Y/N? Y/N? Hey? Are you hurt?"
You didn't look up, not for a second. But your muttering became louder. And it became more clear what you were saying.
"My pen, my pen, I dropped my pen..."
JJ had no clue why you were so concerned about a pen when you were covered in someone else's blood, your ears likely still ringing from the gunshot - but she knew that you had a pen-clicking habit. It was something that often annoyed Reid and Morgan - but from what she had observed, you did your best work when your thumb was twiddling, clicking the end of your pen insistently. It meant your brain was whirring hard, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
JJ reached into the breast pocket of her blazer, and took out a pen that clicked on the end.
"Here." She offered it out to you. "You - you can borrow my pen." She said shyly, hoping it would help you calm down.
You extended out a shaking hand, and took the pen, and then began to click it harshly with your thumb. You gripped it so furiously, the skin around your knuckles so tight - but after a moment, you let out a tight breath. And then, for the first time since she had known you - you looked JJ in the eye.
"Thank you." You murmured, your voice ripe with tears.
"Keep the pen." JJ told you, feeling like it was a small consolation if it helped you calm down this much.
You reached up, petting a shaking hand over your face, and pulled back in disgust when you felt the sticky blood.
"Let me help you clean up." JJ said, grabbing some paper towels out of the dispenser and wetting them in the sink.
It was the first time you had ever let her touch you - you clicked the pen the whole time, and from then on, that sound became less of an annoyance and more of a comfort to her.
That was the day she realised one incredibly important thing:
To you, small things matter on such a big scale.
Coffee in your favourite mug instead of a random one she found in the back of the cupboard - that gets a smile out of you. Scones with blueberries instead of raisins - raisins get a shrug at best, blueberries get a giggle and a big 'thank you!'. Organising your files in alphabetical order instead of by date.
You and JJ became close after that day.
She wasn't a profiler, not in training, but she learned to read you like a book.
She knew that you bouncing your knee aggressively meant that you were becoming overstimulated - things in the room too loud, the florescents too bright, the day too overwhelming.
When this happened, she would take you outside for a break - often siting that she herself needed some air and she simply wanted your company. She knew you didn't like to be outwardly babied (who does?), but she also knew that you had a hard time self regulating. You had a hard time deciding when to take yourself out for a break, and if you didn't have one, then you would become irritable, have a hard time focusing, and hardly get any work done.
She also picked up on the fact that you just plain didn't get sarcasm.
Before, she thought you were being cool, or aloof. When someone said something sarcastic and you didn't understand, she thought that you were pretending not to get it in order to snub them or make a joke out of the whole thing.
But during one of your many conversations, you told her that you absolutely didn't understand sarcasm - you didn't get when someone was using a sarcastic tone, and you often took everything people said in its most literal interpretation.
So you and JJ developed a wonderful, silent system - if someone said something and you didn't understand if it was sarcasm right off the bat, you looked to her, and she would nod at you if they were being sarcastic, or shake her head if they were being literal. It was something people on the team picked up on, but nobody said anything about it - they just enjoyed the way you bonded with her, and how your quirky habits were spreading like a delightful little plague.
JJ knew that your life wasn't easy, living with autism, but she always tried to make it a bit easier. Because you were worth it.
Criminal Minds Masterlist
#sundrop writes#criminal minds fanfiction#anonymous#requests#requested#jennifer jareau x you#jennifer jareau x reader#jennifer jareau#autistic reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic
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I've always said that kubota did orihime soooooooo dirty >:( she literally has god powers and they get diminished so harshly... I've always viewed her power as her having the ability to Reject phenomena. In canon she rejects the fact that people are injured. What would happen if she rejected the fact that someone was alive? That someone was in her way? Reject the injustices that led to her and her friends' world being turned upside down. Anyway I love that your hime has the spine she deserves and I'm so excited to be completely normal about aeiwam
Some Important facts about Orihime from canon:
Orihime is the #3 student in her entire (fairly large) high school. Girl Ain't Stupid- if anything, the fact that she's wildly unorthodox in her projects and STILL pulls those kinds of grades and test scores suggests that her teachers are grading her like that because her weird-ass approaches to assignments demonstrate a thorough understanding of the material, so she may actually be smarter than Uryuu, the #1 student who gives me very strong "I'm very good at taking tests and telling teachers what they want to hear, so I can pull good grades even if I have no clue what the subject is" Vibes.
Orihime cooks weird damn food, and enjoys it. She also has strange ideas about what's cute, exceptionally brightly colored clothes relative to everyone else, and does things like get lost following dragonflies for hours on end. Screams sensory processing Weirdness to me. Maybe I'm projecting a bit here, but Sensory processing disorders come with sensory euphoria too- I get to enjoy a huge variety of strange foods and the sound of rain gives me physical joy.
Orihime's best friends* are: -The School's Self-affected "weird boy who might be a delinquent or possibly just insane" guy -A Butch Jock With Anger Issues -The Crafts Club president who has So Much Gender Happening, and also sort-of grew up in a cult -The Giant, scary-looking guy who keeps smuggling small animals into school. -A Genuine sociopath whose family probably has Yakuza Connections -An extremely powerful supernatural being who is like five times her age -Keigo. This is not the friend group of a "Normal"
Taken together, these points form a constellation of THIS GIRL GOT AUTISM. LIKE SO MUCH. LEVEL 999 AUTISM MAGE. She's full of strange joy and magnificently weird and experiencing reality four steps to the left of everyone else AND SHE IS SO, SO SMART.
So in the fic, when she sees Ichigo freaking out because Rukia has been Kidnapped back to Soul Society on Bullshit criminal charges, Orihime does what every autistic person I know does, and immediately begins drafting a Solution.
Namely She begins drafting an extraction plan. She gets slightly in over her head with details about what data they need, how much and what kind of resistance they'd be facing etc. etc. until she realizes she needs some concrete answers and, without regard to social conventions like "time" and "Personal space", more or less kicks in the door to Urahara's shop at 2AM, marches directly into his bedroom and starts interrogating him about the civil services in soul society, yes it's weird you sleep naked with your cat sir but I'm not here to pass judgment I'm here to get answers you can put pants on later.
After the resounding success of their operation in Soul Society, the hardest part when Ulquiorra comes to kidnap her and gives her the completely insane circumstances of "you will be invisible and go through walls for 12 hours, prepare yourself." is not vibrating with the absolute mania of the chance to go to Los Noches and FUCK. SHIT. UP.
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I need to hear your thoughts about Daan/Oâsaa
Ahhh! I hope you asked this Knowing I'd rant because I'm going to rant. First of all since You only asked about O'saa and Daan I'll spare you the Details of the Other little dynamics I have. They All Involve Abella and Henryk. Just different mixes between all 4 of them or duos or trios. Anyway đ¤đ¤đ¤
They have a Few Dynamics for me, Mainly I like them Romantically, But Queerplatonic O'saan is also Close to my heart because god they're just so cute. I'll try to say everything in a. Coherent way? I'll do my best lol But I'll definitely lose myself in rants and such.
I'll be So real, The first appeal was just that Their colour pallettes complement eachother in a way I find delectable. Then thereâs also the fact that they both have a Connection to The Old Gods, Daan to Sylvian because of his Parents, and to the Sulphur god because of what Happens to the Von Dutches, O'saa Mainly to Gro-goroth by nature of his being a Yellow mage, but of course to all of them, since he has that knowledge. He's the one to Tell Daan about the Sulphur god afterall.
Then, of course, their personalities and Dynamics are just so entertaining. Daan is so Blunt and Sarcastic- and he talks so much he's so mouthy and tragic and has this underlying gloom to him, but he can't help but care about things despite coming across as so apathetic. O'saa similarly Also comes across as an Apathetic egotistical Asshole when, if you read between the lines of things he says, you can see empathy and compassion (like his conversation with Olivia About the people in the slums). He is also an Asshole for real, but he's someone with a sense of humour and an appreciation for things. He's just. Augh, he's so dramatic and such a stubborn little ass. This is also Favouritism as both O'saa and Daan are two of my favourite characters. They also both scream autism to me. O'saa in the Infodump-y Hyperfixation way, and Daan in the Socially Awkward blunt way. Kinda in the same way, actually. I'm bound to twist their personalities and Dynamics in a way that appeals to me, obviously, but do put your observations about their personalities in the Notes if you want!
Now, their dynamic as a couple. Honestly, it mostly involves them being Catty little stuborn sarcastic bastards at each other. It's their love language. What good's a partner with no backbone? /nsrs. But genuinely, they appreciate and look up to each other for the different types of Strengths they wield, O'saa with his Magic and Daan with his precision, but i also mean mental strength. The way they approach problems, the way they deal with them. They both think the other is incredibly smart, and part of their love language is not babying the other. Because they both recognise the Others strength. They definitely argue and disagree on things, but that's also an important part of their dynamic. It's like taking joy in seeing what makes the other tick. Kinda like they're actively dissecting each other.
Love language. Other than their mutual respect for each other, I'm not too sure. I think O'saa's very physically affectionate but with subtle ways. I like to think that he's got a big family, so he's used to being touchy, like little things to kind of groom and take care of the people around of him. But only if he's comfortable with them. And he's comfortable with Daan, so I imagine he has no problems doing such things. I think he also likes Acts of Service. Like healing Daan with magic or cooking for him.
For Daan I think his main one is Acts of Service. I also envision him Really enjoying cooking for O'saa (it becomes a competition, like a, who can cook better thing. I think O'saa's the Better cook but Daan isn't bad either). Or other things like Patching O'saa up or, in a more Domestic scenario, Washing O'saa or his hair. Like in a bath. Or even just massaging. I also Think He'd be the tipe of person to Penguin pebble. Like, Give O'saa little things and trinkets that reminded him of the mage. He's rich like that.
I think the main thing for both, though, is definitely quality time. They Definitely Adore Just sitting in each other's personal space while doing completely different things. They also strike me as the types of people to get lost in Discussion a lot. Or to watch and critique Shitty movies together. God Karin wouldn't stand them đđđ she already hates both of them individually.
If it wasn't already Obvious I view them as Cat x Cat when it comes to Dynamics. In the Way that Daan's a Delicate well groomed house cat and O'saa's a Pampered big cat like a Puma or a lion.
For a more intimate look at it, I don't think Daan or O'saa are all too fond of. Hm. Sexual... Encounters? I envision both to be on The Aro-Ace spectrum so. That's not to say that i think they don't have any sexual relationship at all, but i definitely don't think it's a big nor important part of their dynamic. If I had to describe it, I'd say, hm, service top O'saaaa? Basically, that. It's even funnier because if you look at the nude drawings i made, neither even have male anatomy, so yeah. But i do think They like marking each other up. Like bites and hickeys type of thing.
I hope this was a Satisfactory Answer hehe I love them. This is Obscenely long, omg I'm so sorry đđđ i hope it's a Fun read at least. You can chat with me in the notes if you want, I'll respond.
Sidenote, god do I wish there were more O'saa and Daan fics. It's pretty funny because the ship itself seems relatively well received, and there's a good amount of fanart, but there are only like 5 fanfics on AO3 đ if you have anything, send a link, hehe đ
Thanks for reading eheh
#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#funger#funger 2#o'saa fear and hunger#o'saa#o'saan#funger osaa#fear and hunger osaa#osaan#daan fear and hunger#daan von dutch#fear and hunger daan#f&h daan#funger daan#daan#daniel von dutch
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ngl as an abuse survivor the whole âmicro traumaâ thing makes me roll my eyes back into my head like thatâs life babe sometimes we have a negative experience itâs not trauma đđđ i really feel like so many folks live soft lives that any negative feeling becomes âtraumaticâ and something to avoid. i donât think itâs good to conflate times your ego was tested or times that didnât go exactly your way with genuine trauma. youâre more resilient than that. (obviously this isnât about day to day trauma living as a bipoc in a racist white society etc but i donât think you were talking about that either)
Welp, there's a lot to unpack here.
First of all, I'm an abuse survivor with my own share of trauma. I was raised in a form of conservative apocalyptic Christianity where beatings were considered an acceptable form of punishment. Because my parents believed that parental authority was never wrong, and anything a child did or even felt that seemed to challenge that authority (whether intentional or not), I was constantly told that I was wrong for having my own feelings, punished for having my own feelings if I dared to to express them. In addition to this, my family thought I needed to be very aware that the Mark of the Beast was coming and I needed to emotionally prepare myself for beheading once the Antichrist took over and started killing anyone who refused the Mark of the Beast.
In addition to this, I was subject to all of the day-to-day trauma that comes from growing up with ADHD and autism in an ableist society, as well as the trauma that comes from growing up with ADHD and autism in an environment where people think children must be obedient at all times. (My parents believed spanking and slapping was fine, by the way. So, that happened often enough. And when it wasn't spanking or slapping, it was my mother screaming and yelling.)
Now with all of this context established, I'm going to tell you: You don't get to decide who does and doesn't get to have trauma. Trauma doesn't work according to some abstract notion of what should and shouldn't constitute "trauma." People can, in fact, be genuinely traumatized over things that seem totally ridiculous to you.
Also? You don't know what other people are living through. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't know how people are being traumatized by economic circumstances, by bullshit at the workplace, by knowing that Christofascists want to subjugate them or kill them. You don't know how many people are being slowly traumatized by partners who invalidate and mock them in countless tiny ways every day. You don't know how many people are being traumatized by thinking they should be able to meet certain expectations that they don't realize are based in ableist standards or impossible capitalist ideals.
You've also evidently never had a conversation with someone who can't figure out how they're such a mess because they "don't have a reason to be traumatized," but the more you talk to them the more it comes out that they lived a profoundly messed up life, and were profoundly mistreated in a thousand ways that they didn't even recognize as mistreatment at the time. (No, it's not normal for your mother to call you ableist slurs if you can't tend to her every whim in five seconds.)
You also say "obviously this isnât about day to day trauma living as a bipoc in a racist white society etc but i donât think you were talking about that either." And you know what? You wanna know what? I absolutely was, because my post was meant to be inclusive of all forms of microtrauma.
Anyway, I hope you can recognize that suffering and trauma aren't a contest, and trying to decide who does and doesn't "deserve" to have trauma based on your own personal abstract ideals and limited comprehension of their lives doesn't help anyone.
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An essay on autistic Mafuyu
Coming from a very autistic person.
Mafuyu has a bunch of autism symptoms, but a lot of them can also be explained by other reasons, such as her upbring and trauma, but not all of them, so I'm going to start speaking about the explainable by other things traits and move up to "boy you're tism". (Notw that the trauma explanation can also have a pre-disposition to happen due to tism)
In the biggest "can be explained by her trauma" category, we actually have the biggest reason people headcanon her as autistic. Her Alexithymia. Which is just a fancy word for "can't recognize her own feelings". No i did not have to copy paste that name to not write it wrong. Yes, many autistic people are bad at recognizing their own feelings, me included. But we also have to note that Mafuyu absolutely hid away those feelings for a mask and because they were needs not being met, a "good girl" like her doesnt get sad or angry right? Thats what made her push down those feelings so much she just ended up.. numb. Its extremely common in depression as well as autism which made me personally not realize i was depressed until someone made me put it into words, it was similar to my normal.
Theres also her.. exquisite vocabulary, Mafuyu uses lots of fancy terms sometimes, which is very stereotypical white boy autism. But also, she was pushed books down her throat by her mom since she was a child, she was expected to be this "fancy" and "smart-sounding". So she is.
Observant. Mafuyu doesn't talk a lot, she observes. She can recognize things on others sometimes, but mostly about the environment, which can be an autism noticing a bird singing 5 blocks away or a trauma "i need to notice this or i get fucked" reaction.
Mafuyu as mentioned, tends to listen more than speak, I am personally not this kind of autism, but it exists, Mafuyu is quiet, listening and only speaking when she feels her input is needed. This can be simply a mixture of autism and trauma. She doesn't feel the need to speak, so she doesn't, why would she waste her energy like that? Smh.. but also her good girl mask is supposed to be a good listener, not much of a yapper.
Now we are starting to move onto the things she does that are less explained by trauma and more explained by tism. Which is my favorite part to analyze.
Parallel play: Mafuyu seeks comfort with being with niigo and working alongside them, she doesn't even need to be talking, as seen by the kitty event where she kept just listening to them on earphones, she just wants to be near her people and gets calmed down by being with them.
Bluntness. As an autistic person i am extremely blunt in wrong situations, and can easily not recognize its the wrong situation. Per example Mafuyu's "why dont you imagine you're gonna get killed if you dont do it in half an hour" or all the times she points something out to Ena and gets a scream back because it was the wrong time? Mafuyu says what she thinks and when out of the mask she really. Really. Lacks a filter, because she doesn't know when or what she's supposed to speak or not
She.. kind of needs people to say the obvious? Sometimes she doesnt realize whats going on, why she's reacting in a way, so and so. One of the reasons Mizuki had to tell her it's ok to run away. Mafuyu never considered it. It wasn't obvious for her like it would be for a lot of people, she's kind of very oblivious in emotional matters like that, and needs someone (coughs usually Mizuki) to explain something to her
There's probably more but im doing this in like 15 minutes.
Plus, all in all, she makes autistic people like me really relate to her, even if they can be mostly explained by trauma doesnt mean she doesn't show those signs or that they're only because of that, even the mask she uses is a known neurodivergent thing.
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How do the skeletons celebrate the New Year? Are they more family or big parties? For your main boys.
Undertale Sans - He prefers to stay home for the final countdown, or maybe at Toriel's place if he doesn't feel like being alone. Papyrus and Frisk are not home so that's just the two of them chatting, joking and watching bad movies until the final countdown. They're both going to sleep as soon as it's midnight though lol. It was already hard enough to stay awake until midnight for Sans and Toriel were working the next day so they kept it nice and short.
Undertale Papyrus - He's always going to party with Undyne and Alphys for New Year in some big bonded place. They decided to do it even more this year by going to Time Squares. He's not sure if he liked it or not. It was fun and all but there were maybe a tiny bit too many people for his autism and he got pretty overwhelmed really fast. It was still fun though, but he's not doing it again lol. Also, he's regretting everything in the morning because it feels like someone is hammering his skull. He's so hungover that he can barely sit down. He's cuddling Undyne's feet also in the morning and that's not something he planned to do. Undyne couldn't find the right bed when they got back to the hotel and just crashed on his.
Underswap Sans - He's on service so he's on a big avenue with a lot of people. Even if he can't drink or party, he still does the countdown with everyone and enjoy the concert afterward, and in the front row. It's not all bad. That's a fun night!
Underswap Papyrus - It's just him, his warm blanket and some bad food that's not good for him and that Blue has forbidden him to eat because he's going to get sick the next day. But you know who else is not here to stop him? Blue. He's going to eat until he can't move from the couch and too bad if he's sick the next day, he doesn't regret anything. He completely misses the countdown, long asleep before it happens lol. Worse, he completely forgets to clean the crime scene and Blue finds him dead in the middle of all the sugary food he ate when he comes home from his shift lmao.
Underfell Sans - He's spending the night at Grillby's. After three hours of drinking, he's antagonizing random monsters to start a bar fight. That's a bit of tradition in his universe. A good year is a year starting with a big fight. As a consequence, as everyone is doing the countdown, Grillby grabs it by the pants, and as soon as everyone screams Happy New Year, he throws Red out lol. Grillby has enough of his shit and decided to start the year without having to babysit him. Red is not even mad, he thinks that's hilarious. He's going to antagonize random humans in the bar next door instead lol. He's not going home before he has his bar fight or before he's banned from all the bars in town.
Underfell Papyrus - He's spending the night on his own, with his cat. He bought expensive food both for him and the cat, and he intends to eat it all by watching boring New Year TV shows. He knows Doomfanger doesn't like fireworks, so he prefers to stay home and comforts her than going to a party having to live with the idea his poor Doomie is running for her life at home.
Horrortale Sans and Papyrus - They're celebrating at home with a big dinner and Toriel and Grillby, that's all they need to be happy. They're happily chatting and talking about random subjects, cooking and drinking. That's a fun night! Oak gives up way before midnight and just naps on the couch though. After eating so much, he couldn't keep his eyes open lol.
Swapfell Sans and Papyrus - Nox is celebrating with his brother until midnight. They kinda missed doing these things during the years their relationship fell apart so Nox tries to be better. Nox cooks the dinner (because he doesn't want to die from food poisoning to start the year) and then they watch a movie. After the countdown, Nox goes to sleep because he's working for the Queen the next day and she's already enough of a hungover to handle while Rus leaves the house to go party in a bar or in the streets with some other people until dawn. Added to that, he doesn't drink alcohol so he's also the one bringing everyone home after the party.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He's invited to a big dinner with some very important political people. There's no rest for Wine, he's working all evening to win some alliances. The guy is playing Crusader Kings in real time and he wants to conquer that random island you're not using in the middle of nowhere. He also threatens the president of the United States of bad things if he dares to mock him again for wearing a pretty dress.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's alone at home with some food his brother ordered for him because he was too scared to use his phone and video games. Coffee doesn't like fireworks, so he's really fine just being on his own and hanging out late. He doesn't need to do the countdown with anyone but his villagers on Animal Crossing.
#undertale#underswap#underfell#horrortale#swapfell#fellswap gold#sans#papyrus#undertale ask blog#undertale asks#undertale imagines#undertale headcanons
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Hey!! I absolutely ADORE your writing, it makes me so happy!!! I happen to be a sucker for our favorite nerd, and you write super good for him! May i ask for general datting headcanons? Like what its like to date him???? Thank you!!!<3
A/N: ohhh, i was WAITING for this one!! i loveee dating hcs. i'm assuming you mean dr. flug, in which i am always happy to write for him! thank you so much for the request! im so happy you enjoy my works!! c: (also flug may be just a teensy bit autism-coded...)
The Doctor Is Out (Dr. Flug x Reader) [Headcanons]
Rules For Requesting
Characters I Will Write For
Masterlist
Summary: General Dr. Flug dating headcanons/What is dating Dr. Flug like?
You thought he was a nervous wreck before? You've never seen him on a date. Before a date, for that matter.
After asking you out to a museum that recently opened outside the Hat Island, he dragged himself to his room and.. screamed into his pillow. Leaving 5.0.5. decently concerned.
He paced around his lab, wracked with anxiety. Oh god, oh god--what is he going to do?! Did he still look alright?? He paused his anxious strides to look at himself in his full-body mirror that he practically pulled out of nowhere. I guess he looked alright-? Or did he need to change his shirt again? Oh--crap he should probably take off his gloves.. or should he? He's always had normally sweaty hands, not including his nerves getting the best of him.. Yeah, the gloves are staying on.
Not to mention how Demencia is teasing him every minute she gets while Flug is writing out a plan. Yeah, you heard me right, this faceless man has an entire 24-step written plan for this date. He can't go without a plan, right? He doesn't want to mess up in front of you, either..
Some ridiculous, unreasonable, irrational part of him thinks maybe you won't show up. Obviously, he doesn't know any better to know how much you love him. Then again, if he knew, I don't think he'd last.
The museum went way better than he expected! There just happened to be a jet plane exhibit, and suddenly his 24-step plan has made its way to a nearby trash can. Don't get me wrong, his nerves were definitely still there, and not going anywhere anytime soon. He was just glad that he didn't draw you away with his possibly unending rambling about different types of aircraft.
The two of you stayed in the museum until it closed at 4 p.m. The time seemed to fly by, and at some point during the date you had held his hand. Poor Flug was too distracted, that he only noticed your interlocked hands when the both of you were leaving the building. He's blushing like a maniac now. As if the red tint on his face couldn't get any worse, before you left, you kissed him on his cheek. You kissed him on his cheek. His bones turned to ice, frozen in place. Later that night, he couldn't get his mind off of you. He's not washing his bag for a while. Not like he washed it in the first place.
So, you two are dating! In a relationship! Dr. Flug refuses to believe it, but every morning kinda forces him to. Though, sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with the attention, so when this happens, you give him the day to compose himself again.
He's happy with the attention, though! More than happy, he's honestly never received such affection before and.. he enjoys it.
Some days, you'll just have hang-out dates! For example, Dr. Flug is undergoing a heavy project and asks you to come over for comfort. He'll even ask you for help with his experiments from time to time! Don't worry, he wouldn't involve you in anything too dangerous, he's not cruel. Well, not to you..
If we're talking about Dr. Flug here, at least one date has to go wrong. Thankfully, it's almost never his fault. He's, unfortunately, slightly popular with heroes. Not that he, himself, as a villain is popular, but rather him being known under the Blackhat name has drawn in some unwanted attention from heroes.
What does this mean for the two of you? Well, worst case scenario, a hero has such a huge grudge against Flug that they are determined to ruin your date. According to Dr. Flug, there's only a 1.117% chance of this happening, so you shouldn't have to worry too much.
Afterwards, he feels horrible that your date went to crap. He apologizes profusely, even if you forgive him in the first place, he'll continue to feel bad. All he wants is for you to be happy, and it feels like he's failed you. But the fact that you're still here with him is more than enough proof that you're far from giving up on him, if ever.
On days where you would stay inside with him, whether it be a stormy night or just a long day for you, sometimes he'd turn around from whatever he was working on when you don't respond to him, and he'll find you resting peacefully next to 5.0.5. The sight warms his heart, as he moves to grab a blanket for you, and dims the lights in his lab slightly.
With you asleep, and now with him and nothing to work on, he now has time to think. And for some reason, no thoughts come to him. Surprising to his usually busy brain.
One thought came to him, eventually. Watching you rest soundly in the now dim-lighted room, your chest lifting up and down with your soft breaths, made him realize how lucky he truly is.
Then, he came up with an idea. He didn't want your dreaming to be disturbed, did he? He grabbed a piece of notepaper, tape, and a marker. Opening his door slightly, he taped up the scratch-made sign titled:
"The Doctor is Out"
#headcanons#villainous#x reader#dr flug#dr. flug#x reader headcanons#x reader hcs#villainous x reader#villainous headcanons#dr flug x reader#dr flug x reader headcanons#dr. flug x reader#romantic headcanons#dating headcanons#fluff#tooth rotting fluff#autism#autism coded#requests open#request please
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Heya, pals!! :D Since Super Mario has now been demoted to a minor hyperfixation in replacement of Ace Attorney, I'm gonna post some Luigi headcanons that have been GNAWING on my mind for the past 3 years I've had this hyperfixation. Without further ado, LETSA GO!!! :3 (btw heres credits to the dividers i used here.)
Appearance â:
I don't usually give appearance headcanons, but as you have seen in a few posts of mine, I gave him freckles! Not sure why tho, I just feel like it would suit Luigi.
I got inspired by a crap ton of long-haired Luigi (and by proxy, Mr. L) headcanons and fanart so that's one more to add to my list of headcanons.
As for markings, I headcanon him to have a lot of scars. Specifically on his arms, ranging from his fingertips to his elbows from using his thunderhand ability, being REALLY clumsy, and other stuff I won't mention. There are a few more scars on his legs and torso from either work-related accidents, or accidentally getting scratched up in adventures with Mario. (also top surgery scars but i'll explain that later shush)
Hobbies đď¸:
A portion of Luigi's hobbies came from him trying to be just like brother, Mario, but Luigi is his own person too, so he has many hobbies to call his own. Just like many other fellas in the Mario community, the Luigi in my AU LOVES engineering (specifically mechanical engineering). Besides that, I think he would love baking with Princess Peach!
I feel like he's the better cook between him and his brother, so in their spare time, he teaches Mario how to cook! Yeah, sometimes the food comes out a tiinnnnyy bit burnt, but hey! At least Mario tried his best! Of course, Luigi knows that, so he gives a tiny pat on Mario's back for not completely burning the food into a crisp.
His other favorite thing to do with Mario is to play videogames!
He's also a former theatre kid in this AU-
His favorite musicals would be Dear Evan Hansen, Mamma Mia, and Annie!
Personality đ:
This section's gonna be really short because honestly, I don't know how to describe personalities of other characters, let alone, myself!
So uhhh... here we go..?
I often find Luigi to be more ambiverted, (or maybe extroverted but very socially awkward??? idk just me projecting tho lolz qwq) however HEAVILY leaning on to the introverted side.
From what I've seen he is a HUGE sweetie pie, even if he canonically gets shitted on by like, 80% of the Mario NPCs.
So yeah, thats it for personality I guess... QwQ
Music đ§:
I feel like since some of the fandom represents him as a hopeless romantic, he enjoys listening to love songs the most.
For some reason, I headcanon him listening to love songs that blink-182 makes lol. (to be specific, this song. its a total banger pls listen to it!!)
Misc. đ:
All the other headcanons that don't fit the other 3 labels! (sexuality, disorder stuff, etc.)
Personally, I HC him to be autistic and have GAD (or generalized anxiety disorder.) I got this headcanon from watching this video a long time ago, and it just clicked. Something about that man screamed "AUTISM!!!" to me. Idk why.
Now time for sexuality hcs!! For me, I headcanon him as demiromantic bisexual. The vibes just... feel right to me. I also headcanon him being a trans man!! Again, for the reason of the vibes feeling right.
So... that's it! My Luigi headcanons! I wrote this instead of studying environmental laws lol ^_^ It may not be accurate to canon, but that is what makes it an au, I guess.
#luigi#super mario#super mario bros#mario bros#headcanons#autism#my headcanons#character headcanons#anxiety headcanons#autism headcanon
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HIII If you're accepting requests rn I'd love to ask for something done! Floyd leech x autistic (preferably trans, but it's okay if not as well!) male reader! basically I'd love for my fave character to comfort me lol,,, Like... bodily affirmations, squeezes, lots of sweet kisses... maybe some crying... Idk!! just go with whatever comes to mind! (sorry if too vauge, I feel sooo braindead rn XD)
yah ty if you get around to this!!! it'd make my days so much better, I've already read all the stuff in the floyd x male reader tags so I'm feeling so deprived of good n' comforting content aughhh....
Bad Days
Floyd x autistic trans male reader
A/N: So funny thing I wrote like half of this and then my app reset so I have to rewrite almost Iâll of it :,) but anyways this is also kinda a comfort fic for me because Iâve been dealing with a lot of sensory issues and transphobia lately , along with being borderline denied an autism assessment so this is a fic for both of us anon
Trans male reader, autistic reader, dysphoria, sensory issues, autism meltdown, non sexual nudity
Days like these are tough. From the moment you woke up you could tell that something was wrong. It starts with the clothes. The shirt and jacket just feel wrong.
But thereâs nothing else to wear so⌠you wear it. Then it gets worse in class. The temperature is just too much, and it makes your clothes feel so much worse, like you want to just scratch at your skin until the feeling stopped.
The noises the people make around you are unbearable. The gum chewing, the lip smacking, all of it is just to much. It makes you want to tear your hair out and rip your ears off.
The lights are too bright and everyone is just so loud, itâs starting to feel like your getting a migraine, like you just canât take it anymore and start screaming at any moment.
And of course somehow these feelings just make you more aware of your body. Youâre suddenly hyper aware of your chest, your waist, your face, even your voice. Itâs all too much.
Luckily, when you first came to Night Raven Colege, you thought ahead about this. It was important for your teachers to understand your situation, diagnosis or not.
Crewel was aware of your situation, and with one look youâre able to slip out of class. You rush back to your dorm as quickly as possible, suddenly grateful that classes were going on so nobody could see you. You canât help the whines that slip from your throat as you desperately try to hold yourself back from completely breaking down into a mess of screams and cries.
Youâre able to quickly make it back to your dorm, locking yourself in your room and throwing off your uniform. Sure, being completely naked almost in tears in your dorm room isnât the most flattering thing, but you just had to get that stupid uniform off.
Rubbing down the worst feeling parts of your body, youâre able to calm down enough to dig out your favorite clothes and throw them back on, even if they not be in the best state. You just need them right now.
Being able to use any type of noise cancelling headphones or earbuds helps calm you down a little bit more. Just having them in, even if youâre not playing anything, it helps get all of the noises from the day out of your head.
A drink of water also helps. In very few gulps youâre able to swallow almost an entire bottle of water. You lay down in your bed, breathing heavily as you start to calms down in a safer environment.
As you lay in bed, you can feel your soft blanket in your feet, rubbing them back in forth to get a nicer sensation than what you were feeling for most of the day.
Taking a few more sips of water, completely finishing off the water bottle, you take your stim toy of choice. You have all of your favorite options thanks to everyone at NRC giving them to you. As you fidget and play one of your favorite videos, you start to think. You managed to slip out of class, and you didnât even hurt yourself or make a complete mess of your room. At least thatâs some progress.
Youâre cut off by your thinking by a knock on the door. Not able to form words at the moments, you pull yourself out of bed and peek out of the door.
Standing there is your tall, rather intimating boyfriend.
âEh? Shirmpy what happened? You just left class so suddenlyâŚâ
He has his usual playful drone to his voice, but you can tell the slight hint of concern, a difference youâre sure only you and his brother can notice.
You stay silent, just giving him a pained look and hoping he understand. He does.
âNot talkinâ? Alright⌠you want me to stay?â
Youâre able to give him a small nod, and he walks right in and practically jumps onto your bed, making grabby hands at you, his mood doing almost a 180, as he usually does.
You could always depend on Floyd to understand what youâre going through. He also has his fair share of his own mood swings and tantrums, heâs never judge you for your own.
You walk back to bed and slowly slink into his arms, leaning against his chest comfortably. Floyd was somehow never too hot or too cold to cuddle with. He was somehow always the perfect temperature no matter what you were feeling. It almost feels like he knows how to control his own body temperature on purpose.
He squeezes you tight, not as hard as he does when heâs mad at someone or intentionally trying to hurt them, but a real, genuine hug. And itâs perfect. Others would complain that his squeezes are way to tight, but to you itâs perfect. Heâs almost like a weighted blanket. Youâre glad you make him feel safe enough to hug you as hard as he wants with genuine love.
He snuggle close to you, leaving soft kisses on his he top of your head and cheek, but not anywhere that may be uncomfortable in your overstimulated time. Heâs mindful of where exactly heâs touching you, he knows what parts donât want to be touched in these moments, even the most obscure ones.
As the two of you snuggle and watch whatever you chose to put on, he mutters sweet things to you.
âI love yooou.â âMy boyfriendâŚ.â âMy boy.â âSo handsomeâ
It seems like heâs in a lovey mood now. Even with his sudden switches, he always seems to know the right things that you need to hear. He also checks up on how youâre feeling.
âAre ya comfortable?â âFeelinâ any better?â âAre you too warm?â âDo ya want your stuffed animal?â âWant me to move my arms?â
When you arenât talking, the both of you are in a comfortable silence. It starts to become hard to keep your eyes open after the day youâve had combined with the cozy environment with your boyfriend holding you tight.
Eventually, you canât fight the exhaustion anymore and feel yourself starting to drift. Before you fully fall asleep, you feel a soft kiss on the top of your head and the arms around you squeeze just a bit tighter.
âGânight Shirmpy, sweet dreamsâŚâ
Aaah I love writing comfort fics. Usually my head cannon style posts do better than my actual fics so I guess Iâll see how this goes. Also this is based on my own experience with autism, so if it doesnât fit you Iâm sorry, Ty for reading and have a nice day
#male reader#sharkboywrites#mlm#mlm blog#twst#twst x male reader#twst x reader#twst fanfic#autistic reader#ftm reader#trans reader#transmasc reader#floyd x male reader#floyd leech x male reader#floyd leech x reader#floyd x reader
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ready to fight for my life for ty blackthorn when twp is released because the way people are already infantilizing and patronizing him bc heâs autistic is soâŚ.
no one asked for this but iâve seen a lot of people have weird takes on his autism so as an autistic woman i need to clear some things up ok đ so buckle up, this is gonna be a long one (seriously, itâs long)
the main arguments iâve seen are: (iâm paraphrasing here btw)
âty didnât cry when livvy died but he did cry when kit said he wished heâd never known him so itâs clear that he does love kit.â
and
âty clearly loves kit because he cried when they argued and itâs hard for autistic people to cry.â
and
âty gets on my nerves because he didnât react at all when kit told him he loved himâ
like. i do get what youâre saying (with the first one. not the second one, thatâs a stereotype, and also not the third one bc thatâs just weird), because it does show that ty cares but like. obviously? all his actions before that showed that he cared too.
saying âhe cried when him and kit fought but not when livvy diedâ just comes off as acting like heâs more upset about kit leaving and insulting him than he is about kit dying and that just rubs me the wrong way.
i know this is not common knowledge but autistic people often have delayed processing, especially when weâre grieving because it can be so overstimulating and even when we do grieve, itâs not gonna look the same as when an allistic person grieves.
so, delayed processing:
delayed processing in autism is where you are recording/aknowledge events as they happen, however that information is stored elsewhere in the brain and isn't taken in.
once the brain is ready or has capacity the information is suddenly taken in. this could be hours, weeks, days or even months later.
an example (from justkeepstimming_ on instagram):
An autistic person whose mother died at quite a young age. At the time, when his father was grieving, it did not appear the autistic son was upset.
However, one year after his mother's death, he suddenly processed that she was gone (permanently) and only then started the grieving process.
that example is pretty much exactly what happened with ty in qoaad.
partly, ty didnât cry when livvy died because he didnât accept that she was dead. he was so sure that he was gonna bring her back and for a long time, he probably didnât even consider the fact that he might fail.
after livvy dies, kit says this:
âEveryone had been terrified. Ty would fall apart, theyâd thought. Kit remembered Julian standing over Ty as he slept, one hand stroking his brotherâs hair, and heâd been prayingâKit didnât even know Shadowhunters prayed, but Julian definitely had been. Ty would crumble in a world without his sister, theyâd all thought; heâd fall away to ashes just like Livvyâs body.â
if ty were allistic, he probably would have reacted like this immediately. and he does react like this eventually when his brain fully processes that the ritual didnât work, that livvy is actually not coming back:
âLivvy!â Ty didnât scream the word so much as it was ripped from him; he curled up, hugging himself, as if desperate to keep his body from shattering apart.â
this is when ty actually processes that his sister is gone. so saying, âty didnât cry when his sister died but he cried when him and kit foughtâ as if itâs some really romantic thing that he was sadder about kit leaving than livvy dying (which is not true) is just iffy because itâs such a stereotype and a misconception that autistic people donât seem to care at all when people die, and way too many people from this fandom are feeding into that so much.
and ty does show is grieving throughout qoaad but because itâs not in the allistic way, a lot of readers donât recognize it.
(i was actually so positively surprised to see that cassandra clare, an allistic woman, wrote the grieving process for an autistic characterâand everything else about being autistic tbhâso well but it gives me so much hope for twp)
for example, autistic people (this is obviously not all autistic people as all autistic people are different but i'm just listing the signs i've seen in ty in qoaad) when they're grieving might show their grief gradually in more subtle ways by hurting themselves, emotionally or physically, which ty does do:
"The only person he was unkind to, Kit thought, was himself."
and we also see in gotsm that ty is continuously punishing himself because he is still grieving. livvy is simultaneously there and dead, and ty has to live with both the grief of her death and the guilt of her being stuck as a ghost.
there's also the fact that kit observes that ty starts keeping secrets and doing things alone, which is also common when trying to process emotions that havenât fully caught up yet:
âIn the past days, though, since Julian and Emma had woken up, Ty had been harder to find. If he was working on something, he hadnât included Kit in itâa thought that hurt with surprising intensity.â
like. ty is pulling away because he is trying to process everything thatâs happening. him excluding kit is very likely a symptom of some kind of delayed grief because itâs very unlike him to exclude kit from anything, as we can see when he says multiple times outright that he doesnât want to do things without kit.
just because itâs more subtle than breaking down into tears doesnât mean that he doesnât feel it at all. itâs more likely that he simply feels too much and is shutting down because of it.
and of course his grief is gonna be subtle when he hasnât even accepted and processed the fact that sheâs dead yet.
and yes, he cried when kit told him he wished heâd never met him but that is so different because there was no room for denial. kit told him that word for word, the processing wasnât delayed this time because there wasnât really that much to process.
ty truly believed right away that his only friend wished he had never known him, and when livvy died he didnât accept that she was dead. those things are different and pitting them against each other is weird.
so, onto the second argument/misconception iâve seen that:
âty clearly loves kit because he cried when they argued and itâs hard for autistic people to cry.â
this is a misconception stemming from the stereotype that autistic people are emotionless. yes, some autistic people might have a harder time crying because of shutdowns etc. but generalizing it to itâs hard for autistic people to cry is just wrong, especially because this has never been implied about ty in the text.
in fact, itâs the opposite:
âTy heard everything twice as loud and fast as everyone else. The headphones and the music, Kit sensed, were a buffer: They deadened not just other noises, but also feelings that would otherwise be too intense. They protected him from hurt.
He couldnât help but wonder what it would be like to live so intensely, to feel things so much, to have the world sway into and out of too-bright colors and too-bright noises. When every sound and feeling was jacked up to eleven, it only made sense to calm yourself by concentrating all your energy on something small that you could masterâa mass of pipe cleaners to unravel, the pebbled surface of a glass between your fingers.â
so implying that itâs harder for ty to either cry or feel sad is just wrong. kit notes that âevery sound and feeling was jacked up to elevenâ, and this includes tyâs grief. him not crying when livvy died has nothing to do with how much he may or may not be feeling and everything to do with how delayed his processing was.
and the third complaint of ty is frustrating because he didnât react when kit told him he loved him.
first of all, i donât know if itâs my autistic ass not understanding allistic people but is it not normal to be in shock when someone tells you they love you in the middle of a necromancy ritual???
and second of all, this scene from city of heavenly fire where julian says âi know itâs hard to understand, ty, but we love youâ like itâs supposed to explain their actions and ty reacts like this:
Ty looked at him blankly. He knew what âI love youâ meant, and he knew it was good, but he didnât understand why it was an explanation for anything.â
ty looking at kit blankly in surprise in qoaad is not him ânot reactingâ, itâs him trying to process 1) what that has to do with anything and 2) why that would be an explanation or an argument as to why ty should stop the ritual.
(it is probably also partly because ty thought kit had feelings for livvy at this point but thatâs just speculation so i wonât get into it now)
to kit, this was probably his way of saying that because he loves him, ty can stop the ritual and kit will help him with the aftermath.
to ty, kitâs confession made no sense in that moment because why would kit loving him mean that he should stop the ritual? and this was most likely also the moment when his grief was really starting to kick in, so that just adds to it.
yeah idk if anyone made it to the end but as you can tell, i have a lot to say and iâm tired of people romanticizing tyâs grief.
#this is so long iâm sorry#sick of fandoms infantilizing neurodivergent characters#ty blackthorn i will always defend you#iâm putting my english degree to good use#the dark artifices#ty blackthorn#livvy blackthorn#the wicked powers#kit herondale#kitty#kit x ty#shadowhunters#actually autistic#twp#cassandra clare
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