#Also me: completely wrecks a man :)

[steakout-05]

random thought but i love the idea of Herobrine being less of an explicitly evil character and more of a weird cryptid thing that exists by accident and can only be perceived at long FOV distances by humans, forever being sort of isolated from the rest of them to only be seen partially obscured by the fog. he physically exists, but can only be perceived as though he were a ghost. he's very curious about other humans, watching over them as they traverse the world, but he means no harm. this can often look like stalking behaviour which can freak other humans out and make him seem menacing or off putting. scrambled throughout the world are legends and scriptures written about this mysterious being that make him out to be terrifying and threatening. warnings, spells and summoning rituals are seen scratched across the walls of ancient catacombs and ruined civilisations. locked inside dusty chests are torn and withered parchments scribbled with illustrations that depict him to be some sort of monstrous eldritch creature, perhaps mistaking something more terrifying for the legends of the strange man all should beware that have persisted for centuries. others depict him more as a silent, stalking shadowed figure, lurking behind trees and mountains with unknown intentions.

the only reason he exists is because of a strange bug that causes a duplicate of the main player to generate along with the world, and no matter how many times the developers of Minecraft try to remove him, he always quietly comes back somehow, implying that the rules of the game they created has developed into its own ecosystem that is slowly developing its own independence separate from the game, and that Herobrine is an integral part of it. he might possibly be a remnant of an ancient experiment or society that has long since disappeared, but for whatever reason, Herobrine still persists.

[bondagebimbo]

Do we need to have a remembrance for the leggings? 🫡

f in the chat for the leggings that were practically ripped in half and made it so I had to walk back into my house with most of my ass just out for all my neighbors to see 🫡

worth it and 15/10 would (and plan to) do it again

[whumblr]

Agonising

I come in peace, I come bearing gifts. This is not the Bad Place. This is what happens to Zayne while Jay is on his way in the trunk of a car :) Follow-up to chapter Antagonising.

Home is where the hurt is: Part 1

-

So. This was it.

No way Emery was going to let a betrayal like this slide. And as soon as the bag was ripped from his head, when his eyes adjusted to the bit of light there was and he instantly recognised the warehouse, their old hideout, yeah, he knew he was going to die here.

With a grunt Zayne landed hard on his knees. Hands tightened around his shoulders, pressing him back down when he struggled to try and get back on one knee. He wasn’t going to just let this happen but even he had to admit defeat against two of Emery’s bodyguards who had the high ground. These weren’t owned pawns; they were paid and had their own motivation for helping Emery out. Money. Fear can only get you so far. A pawn controlled by fear would only gladly step aside to let a bullet pass right into a hated boss. Zayne knew he would. It's why Emery used him as a weapon instead of a shield. But when the paycheck stops along with your boss’ heartbeat… that’s a different matter.

His jacket was ripped away from him and leather cuffs were replaced by the bite of metal around his wrists.

He couldn’t suppress a shudder when the cold swept over his bare arms, when it stabbed right through his flimsy t-shirt. He glared up, teeth grit, hoping his boiling fury would serve to keep him warm. And to keep him from giving up.

“The only thing you have going for you right now, Zayne, is that I know this wasn’t your idea.” Emery slowly advanced on him now that he was safely contained on his knees, having cowardly kept a few steps back, slinking in the shadows to let his pawns fight Zayne to his knees, too afraid he would snap towards him. “So consider this your one and only chance to start talking.”

Zayne scoffed and turned away but a gloved hand snagged in his hair and pulled him back, forced him to look up.

Emery’s face of thunder told Zayne that not in a million years the guy could have seen this coming. So once the wince of pain had retreated, Zayne merely scoffed again, this time with a gloating smile.

“You should start preparing your exit instead of bothering with me.”

The hand in his hair slid away and he braced himself. Emery couldn’t throw a punch to save his life, hell, couldn’t make a dent in a pack of butter if he tried. So unsurprisingly, the gloved hand instead simply made a gesture to the man standing behind him.

And something akin to a brick to the face made his head snap to the side.

He couldn’t contain a grunt of pain, couldn’t fight off the haze that nearly paralyzed him for a few seconds. Then he shook it off and sat upright again, as if nothing had happened.

“Is it really that strange I want to see you go down?” he snarled.

“No. But your talk of your reporter looking into things and suddenly you want me to go on record to admit to plans of murder? Not that hard to see the full picture.” Emery’s face twisted into the condescending smile Zayne knew so well. “Not to mention you don’t have the brains to come up with such a plan yourself. You were even too stupid to bring it to a success.”

Before Zayne could growl out a reply, a bare hand curled in his hair again, pulled him up. Another fist blasted full in his stomach, followed up with a backhand to the face.

He doubled over, coughing, wheezing. Squeezing his eyes shut against the pain for the brief moment that he could conceal his face while leaning down.

His breath came in shallow shudders, pain and something he didn’t want to acknowledge making it hard to regain a steady rhythm. But he pulled himself up as far as he was allowed on his knees, straightening up and baring his torso as if he dared them to go for another.

Emery just watched, looking down on him, unmoved by the violence.

“So tell me, exactly, why I shouldn’t bother with you. Hm?”

“They know everything. Police will come looking for you soon.”

“Please.” A casual wave of his hand and Emery shook his head. “Don’t tell me you actually went along with your reporter’s fantasies?”

A cry of pain slipped free when a fist caught him right smack in the face. He felt his nose give, felt it break. Blood gushed down over his lips, dripped onto his knees. His chin drooped, making a red stain where it rested against his chest. Yet again, he forced himself back up.

And he spat out a glob of blood right in front of Emery’s polished shoes.

Didn’t matter that he missed. His nose was going to give him plenty of material to try again.

He hadn’t noticed one of the men had circled him and the kick from behind came out of nowhere.

His hands automatically moved, trying to catch himself. But he only managed to scrape the skin of his wrists as he yanked them against the unyielding metal. He barely managed not to smash his broken nose against the floor. Blood still spilled over his chin, staining the grey dust with red. Increased the splatter as he coughed hard when a kick to his side connected.

It became harder and harder to fight his way back to a kneeling position. A position that allowed him to hold on to the few fragments of pride he still had. He sure as hell wasn’t going to slump down on his knees in defeat. Doubled over in pain. Looking down. He wasn’t! Even if it hurt to breathe, hurt to strain his muscles, he was gonna get back up damnit!

Unexpectedly, and very unwelcome, the man behind him helped with that. Zayne felt something poke against his back, touch over the inside of his arm. He glanced back. Noticed the guy behind him standing on one leg. And before he could even think about taking advantage of that, an immense pressure tugged against his wrists.

 The handcuffs dug into his skin as the man stepped onto the chain and pressed down.

Zayne hissed, hid a cry of pain into a choked off grunt. He could already feel the blood drip down his wrists and he had no choice but to follow as he was leveraged up, shoulders ready to pop if he kept resisting. His back arched, his chest tilted up, his torso now even more vulnerable than before and��

He retched hard when a fist buried into his stomach again. Crushed against ribs. Into his side. A knee rested against his back, slowly moving down and it felt like his wrists were getting torn off. A hand slid under his chin, fingers bruised his jaw as the man behind kept him from slumping over. And only let go when he finally cried out after several more blows to his ribs.

He nearly collapsed right then and there. Going by how painful it was to even breathe right now, he was pretty sure something broke. The coughing really didn’t help either.

Something cold pressed under his chin and he went still. He followed up as the gun tilted his head until he looked into the dead cold eyes of his former boss.

“Mercy?” Emery asked, tipping the gun so the muzzle pressed into the underside of his chin.

“Fuck no,” Zayne growled.

The gun pulled away and something almost like a smile crossed Emery’s lips. “Good.”

A sudden bright light lit up the room and Zayne squinted, turning his head. Unwise. He didn’t see the fist coming this time and it nearly blew him right to the ground. It took all his core muscles to stay upright.

When he peeked a glance, he realised it came from the headlights of an approaching car, shining right through the entrance, engulfing Emery in light. His silhouette stood out against the beam, unmoving, the gun by his side, his coat merely rustling in the wind.

Then it died and he heard two doors slam shut. Heard some commotion, followed by eerie silence.

Two men marched in, dragging in a third caught in the middle of them. There was no resistance. The blond man in the middle didn’t move. He was draped over their arms letting them carry him, hands tied behind his back, head lolling, feet dragging. They dropped him without a care and he collapsed like a doll with its strings cut. And he didn’t move.

Zayne caught the whispered “no” that was about to emerge from his throat, but then the figure twitched to life. Jay groaned softly, rubbing his forehead against the concrete. And Zayne felt himself exhale, flooded with relief. He was still alive.

But… he wasn’t supposed to be here.

“If you don’t want to tell…” Emery sneered, “maybe he will.”

That actually made him laugh. And it earned him another punch. Didn’t need it; his ribs already punished him for that snort. “Yeah… good luck with that,” he said, revealing a bloodied grin.

Emery ignored him. Walked over to Jay who flinched back. Said something Zayne couldn’t hear. With him standing over the barely moving man, Zayne found himself leaning forward, wanting to snarl at him to leave him al—

A well-timed punch across the mouth shut him up. Another followed. Stay put, they said. Don’t move. Don’t interfere.

The whole left side of his face was pins and needles by now, battered and bruised. Would be nice if they’d stop slowly pulverizing his left cheekbone to dust and he found himself wishing they’d mix things up a little, with a backhanded slap or something.

“It doesn’t matter that he’s here,” he tried – a total lie – when Emery returned and loomed over him. “You can kill us both, but you’re still going down.” Jay’s words echoed in his mind.

“Well, you won’t be there to see it,” Emery said, still eerily calm. “Even if I were to keep you alive you wouldn’t.” He took a step back so they could both look at Jay, who by now was in full-blown panic mode. “Shame you didn’t kill him when I told you to. Now he gets to kill you instead.”

“Wha—"

“While it would be my pleasure to drive a bullet into your skull myself...” He twisted the gun in his hand, pressed it into the hand of one of his men, and considered Jay. “I think I’ll allow your victim to do the honours.”

Then his gaze shot back to Zayne, studying his trembling form, the swelling on his face, the pain in his eyes, and the fury that despite all of the former still blazed brightly.

“But maybe… a little payback is in order first.”

-

Tag list: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @hurtmebeautifully @rougenoirofthepurpleterror @susiequaz12 @whump-me-all-night-long @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @im-just-here-for-the-whump @restrainthenmaime @freefallingup13 @whatwasmyprevioususername @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @firewheeesky @redstainedsocks @hold-back-on-the-comfort @whumpawink @break-so-beautifully @approach-me-and-ill-cry @painsandconfusion @afabulousmrtake @wormwriting @soopytime @whumpedydump @pickleking8 @itsmyworld98 @whumpifi @painless-and-colourful

[ilackallhonour]

.

[cursivebloodlines]

☕️  - for dougie :)

🍎 ｡:*• ─ IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME !     ›    ( a symbol meme for muses who want to do something special and fun together this christmas / holiday season.) | @overnightheartbeats

send a symbol for our muses to: ☕️   ─  drink something warm and/or festive ( either at home, at a coffeeshop, christmas market, etc… )

Christmas had been Dougie’s favourite time of the year ever since he was a little boy. He loved it all: the bustling markets packed with treats and trinkets, sampling the drinks and delicacies said markets had to offer, watching the glimmering Christmas lights as they brighten the neighbourhoods, wrapping up warm in cosy jumpers, watching Christmas movies, the music (yes, he was one of those people who would declare it being Christmas as soon as Halloween finishes and immediately blast Christmas songs - he was like this from childhood, before it became The Thing), buying gifts for the people he loved and just the atmosphere. How magical it all felt, even when life itself could feel like a downer or a drag. It never failed to lift his spirits up especially when he needed it most. To quote that one famous song: he wished it could be Christmas everyday.

So naturally, it was his idea to suggest venturing to one of the many Christmas markets and explore what they had to offer this year. Perhaps going out and doing festive activities with his ex-girlfriend wasn’t the brightest of ideas but he didn’t care - there was nobody else he would rather do these things with. Besides, how else were they going to try and navigate this tricky part of their relationship, being friends and starting over, if they didn’t actively hang out and do things together? His feelings for her were all over the place but the more he thought about it, the more he realised he would rather have her in his life than not at all. Dougie already lost her once; he didn’t want to lose her again. There’s a part of him unsure whether he could survive losing her all over again. Despite this, trust was a vital necessity needed to rebuilt for them to have any kind of relationship. Romantic or platonic, and honestly…the line between the two could be a struggle at times.  But there was a time and place where he could dwell on them. And being here, spending time with Laurel was no place he would rather be. 

They idly chit-chatted as the meandered throughout the hustle and bustle, buying random little trinkets from the stalls, or taking photos of each other or selfies together whenever an opportunity presented itself, taking it all in as the sight of something caught Dougie’s attention: a couple walking past, hot chocolate filled to the brim of their cups, topped with plenty of whipped cream and sprinkles. His eyes lit up like a little kid, and he turned to face Laurel, a twinkle in his eye that made it very clear on their next plans. Before she had the chance to potentially object, he took her hand in his and followed the pair with the lovely drink in each of their hands. “Hi, excuse me? Excuse me please - er, sorry… Sorry…hi,” Doug uttered sheepishly as he raced to stand in front of them before they could walk off. The cold could be to blame, but his cheeks burned red, like it was embarrassing to randomly approach a couple of strangers all just to discover where they could get their hands on the mouthwatering delight in front of them. “So sorry to bother you,” he once again couldn’t help but apologise (some things never change), fingertips unintentionally squeezing Laurel’s hand gently. The action feeling like the most natural thing ever, just like old times. When he looked at her, amusement twinkled in her eyes, probably at the way he was starting to babble word vomit. Despite this, the smile she was trying to hide, he didn’t feel like quite the idiot he must’ve looked at. In fact, for some reason or another, he felt more assured. Like it sent a flicker of encouragement, like her mere presence offered him comfort in a time where he’d be feeling really silly or probably wouldn’t have even approached these random people to ask about their hot chocolate in the first place. Maybe she was just rubbing off on him, he liked the thought of that, it brought a smile upon his own lips. Momentarily getting distracted by being too busy admiring his ex-girlfriend, he cleared his throat to break his own thoughts as he glanced to the people in front of him, a timid, awkward smile gracing his lips. “I’m sorry to bother you but those hot choccies just looked too tempting and I had to ask - would you mind telling me… us um,” Doug paused to clear his throat before trying to finish his question. “Could you tell us or point us in the right direction so we can get one of our own? Please?” Was it possible to get redder and redder as his rambling continued? He could blame the cold but all of them probably knew otherwise. Getting flustered was his biggest talent. However, the people were lovely and helpful, advising where to go. With this newfound knowledge in tow, he thanked them profusely, wished them a very Merry Christmas and continued their quest to find the hot chocolate stand!

A few minutes later, lo and behold, they finally reached it. If it hadn’t been for Laurel pointing it out to him, he probably would have walked straight past it. Approaching the stand, he bought them both a hot chocolate each, customised to their contentment. Dougie, being Dougie, when posed with the difficult choice of deciding, he was stumped. Looking blankly from all the choices and endless combinations…To save time, he opted for everything. Which didn’t save time at all, considering that it took time for them to add all the toppings. They even asked him if he was sure which made him a tad uncertain, but with a bashful smile and an affirmed nod of his head, they obliged. His hot chocolate looked like a colourful, eclectic bundle of chaos. So much whipped cream, sauces of different flavours, ones he had no idea of what they were, topped with marshmallows and sprinkles and who knows what else. What can he say? He always had a sweet tooth. Besides, it was Christmas - there were no limitations at the most wonderful time of the year! There was probably more ‘everything else’ and probably less hot chocolate. To put it simply, his definitely looked more appealing in his head than in reality, and if he put a side by side view of expectations versus reality there probably would’ve been a biiiiiit of a difference, maybe he went a bit too far with everything else but he didn’t mind. Lesson learned, and he was going to drink his bloody hot chocolate! Paying for the drinks and offering a polite thanks, Dougie passed Laurel her hot chocolate with gleaming eyes and a bright smile and they found the perfect spot to sit and enjoy their drinks. Away from the hustle and bustle of it all but still in the vicinity, beautifully decorated with pretty lights and a massive, decorated outdoor Christmas tree in the centre of it all. A perfect view for them to sip away at. “Thanks for coming here with me, doing all… well, uh, this. It’s been great. Really lovely, and I’m hoping you had fun too,” he said, his eyes unable to contain the amount of love he still had for her. Lifting his cup up slightly, he added, “Cheers,” with a warm, lighthearted laugh, before clinking his cup against hers. Like the Cheshire cat, he could not wipe the smile off of his face if he tried. In an imperfect world and situation, this moment felt like the most perfect thing he’d experienced in years. He raised the cup to his lips, briefly blowing on it to cool it down - albeit what good would that do since the drink itself was covered by the various toppings - as he took a sip of his drink. A thoughtful hum left his lips.

“Huh. Better than I thought actually, bit sweet but not overly sweet, considering…” he mused before offering the drink to her whilst Laurel was in the middle of drinking hers. “Do you want to try? Go onnnnn, you know you wanna,” he persuaded, wiggling the cup in front of her face as if it would tempt her some more. Doug’s grin widened as she passed her cup to hold in the mean time, and he swapped it for his for her to try. He was transfixed on her, his eyes full of love and adoration. It was the happiest he’d been in a long time, and it felt relief knowing how they could simply…be. How despite their situation, this was the most normal he’d felt in a long while. Normal, but also not normal. It was too odd to explain, but either way. Here? Now? This moment? This moment was everything. “How was it? That taste alright?” Dougie laughed as Laurel returned his drink to him, handing over her drink back. She was just perfect. The smile she gave him, the sound of her laugh. She was truly mesmerising, he’d never been so in love. His gaze travelled down to her lips as he realised some of the cream had stuck to her. Chuckling softly, he gestured to his own face as an indicator. “You’ve got um,” he said, the doting smile etched across his face growing wider as she seemed to miss the spot every time. “It’s okay. Here, um, let me,” his voice was soft, gentle. Like part of him was unsure but he went anyway, leaning in a little closer to make sure he got it. His thumb gently swiping against her lips, his tongue darting out to wet his own lips as he resisted the temptation to replace his thumb with his mouth. Swallowing thickly, as if that would eliminate all thoughts he had, it only made the urge stronger. Dougie considered it as he retracted his thumb, his eyes meeting her then glancing down once again. If only, if only. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t kissed her before. But this was different, they were different. And they were doing good. This was going well. He was too much of a coward, but it was hard to think straight when his heart was pounding in his chest, his stomach filled with the flapping wings of butterflies driving him crazy. How was he able to focus on anything when she was so close to him? When his thoughts were suddenly swimming and his stomach doing flips? Why did it feel like falling in love with Laurel for the first time all over again? 

“Got it,” he simply said, trying to steady his breathing pattern, trying to conceal the fact that every thought swirling around in his mind was just about her. Only her. “All better.”

[mythrae]

morning tag rant time - 6:43am edition

[orcelito]

that one bookmark is gone and on one hand im glad i dont have to see it anymore but on the other hand im a little embarrassed at the thought of them having seen me have a whole mini spiral about it at like 5 am. like sorry random person ig

[blessphemy]

[ID: Tweet from "lemon, mother lemon," @LemonDropLan. Text of tweet reads: "My ship is more canon than yours. / Oh yeah??? Well my ship is WILDLY uncanon. My fuckers are barely in a scene together. we MADE this ship from the ground up and then we made them fuck and I've never been prouder. /end ID]

[six-improbable-things]

I forgot to post anything about this, but I did the scene where I had to read some of my writing to the dnd party (twice!) and they were SO nice about it. I couldn't stop smiling. (which was kind of a weird disconnect since the scenes were super dark, lmao.) But augh, I'm so glad they were nice to meeee. My poor boy Rook is Going Through It right now, and things are about to get worse.

Next session we also might get to do our first version of ship combat using the rules I made which is kind of wild. I'm very nervous, but I feel like after this last session and sharing stuff I wrote with them (out loud!!!) I can handle it. Probably.

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ Till death do us part ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : What if Alastors dear little darling wife, his partner in crime, the person he thought he'd never see again, turns up with Mimzy on the day of the visit of the big boss of hell.

Pairing : Alastor x fem! Reader

Word count : 1899 Words

Genre : Fluff , Drama , Angst

Warnings ➵ Mentions of death, you're shorter than

Vaggie, possessive Alastor, swearing

Prequel -> > The radio star lost <

a/n : I love this trope ngl, tried to not make him to much out of character, hope it worked.. T T

Also I'm rather new to Hazbin Hotel, so I say sorry if anythings seems wrong or out of character! ><

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

The whole hotel was a bit chaotic right now, Lucifer himself would be visiting in just a bit and Charlie wanted everything to be perfect. Colorful decorations were hanging everywhere, a banner was hung up for welcoming the king of hell, how does one even welcome the king of hell into their hotel? Charlie was probably the most stressed of all, but Vaggie did her best to calm her nervous wreck of a girlfriend down.

The moment Lucifer stepped into the hotel was meant to make everything go down, Alastor and his Ego had somehow always a snarky remark against Lucifer. Charlie tried her best to keep them apart, introducing her other friends, before she announced how she would be needing his help. And again the banter between the king of hell and the radio demon started all over again. As if throwing insults at each other before wasn't enough already, now they were pulling at Charlie left and right, like two babies fighting over a toy.

But all things come to an end, which Charlie was thankful for right now, as Mimzy, apparently a friend of Alastor, which was interesting to know he even had any, came barging in with a grand entrance. As the woman now settles down at the bar, talking with the others, Alastor and Charlie took Lucifer on a walk around, Husker disappearing for a second too, but soon joining them at the bar again, a scowl on his face, but something else, undescribable behind his eyes.

A bang was heard through the whole hotel as the entrance door was slammed open and heard could be an angry voice. "MIMZY! You little bitch!" A demon, a slight bit shorter than Vaggie probably, walked in. A scowl evident on the face, as her eyes scan over the place, before falling on the woman she was looking for. "How dare you leave me in the shit like that?! You've got it coming if those sharks don't kill you, I certainly will!" Ignoring the questioning looks of Angel and Husker, you stomp over to the blonde, ready to yank at her hair, when suddenly a bit of debris was thrown through the window and landed beside you, barely missing you by a hair. "The fuck?" The demon's head craned around, looking out the window and there they were, those fuckers Mimzy was in debt to.

You didn't really have time to react much, as three people stormed into the entrance hall, all you could catch was a glimpse of red before the person ran outside, screams of the sharks could be heard, at least those were finally taken care of.

The loan sharks were gone and fought off quickly by that person, his voice now directed to Mimzy, your own eyes on her yourself with a scowl. She and that red demon apparently knew each other quite well, as Mimzy was walking to the door, you finally really looked at the demon. He had short red and black hair, ears sat atop his head, despite scowling Mimzy he was smiling, though a sinister smile it seems. His attire was almost completely red too, a cane was clutched in his hands, as he watched Mimzy walk off, you could only make out a small part of his face. The man seemed so familiar as if you had known him for a long time.. Your heart was running a mile right now, it was getting hard to breathe, and then...

"Thank you Alastor, really.." The long-haired blonde spoke up.. That name, it couldn't be right? Mimzy would've told you, she knew him, she would've definitely told you.. right? You must be mistaken right now.. Your eyes were fixated on the man called Alastor, the voices and sounds around you were all a mush, drowned out as your brain was going all around. Now that you could see his face, he definitely had some resemblance to him.. to your late husband, who had died before you. You were his assistant, his partner in crime, when the news hit you that he was shot, it broke your heart, but still, you continued on alone, killing. That's probably what also got you to hell, well sooner than later you were figured out and soon arrived here in hell.

"Yo smiles, this girly is gawking at you for minutes now." Slowly voices were coming back to you, the white spider beside you talked, pointing his thumb at you, the red-haired now meeting your eyes, his ears straightening and standing alert like the ones of a deer caught in headlight. What irony if he was your Alastor, the irony of dooming him with deer-like features, after getting shot assumed for a deer while hiding one of the many bodies. That day you decided to let him go alone, oh if you just hadn't done that, maybe you both would be alive or you would've at least arrived together in hell.

Alastor was taking slow steps to you, the smile on his face looking strained, yet it never disappeared, his hand was reaching out for you but stopped. Eyes moving over your form, taking in everything. Resemblance to his wife evident, but.. how did he never notice you before? Had he ever met you, walked past, maybe even taken a second glance but dismissed this feeling he has right now.

Swiftly he grabs your wrist, dragging you behind him, ignoring the calls of his name of the other residents, his mind plagued by one only thought, more like one only person.. you.

Stumbling behind him, his grip rather firm on your wrist, yet it felt comforting as if you knew he would never hurt you. Not in your lifetime and also not now in your afterlife. Eyes watching the back of his head, you were wondering what expression his face harbors right now. Was he happy? Was he confused? Disappointed? Maybe he knew where you were all this time but didn't want to meet you. No, he wasn't like this. He may have been distant sometimes while alive, but in the end, he was always a darling to you. Taking care of you, just as he vowed on your wedding day. A distant memory, yet one of the most beautiful ones you have.

A door was opened and as you were pulled inside, the door closed. Steps echoed through the room, you noticed a forest on the other side of the room, but that didn't rather faze you, eyes on him again.. and him only. "Al-" You were interrupted by laughter, the man before you was hugging himself, his arms around him, yet you still weren't able to see his face. "D-Do you know.. How often have I thought about you?!" His voice was loud, a static sound like from a radio accompanied it. One of his hands was tearing at his hair now. "That bitch never told me... I'll make sure to kill her for that.. She kept you from me.." The laughter got even louder, as if the man before you was going insane.

This behavior was nothing new to you, he used to be like this, high on adrenalin when another murder was successful.. Or when he was close to being figured out by the police and detectives, yet he always slipped away right through their incapable fingers.

"I always wondered what happened to you, if you grew old with someone new.." If you were able to see his face right now, you would be able to see the sinister yet possessive smile on his face, his eyes darting around the room.

This all ended in a second when he felt a soft hand on his. He knew this hand, he also knew the person it belonged to like the front of his pocket. "I would never, I carried on alone in your memories, yet I was never as skilled as you darling, so sooner than later they connected all the dots to me." A low chuckle could be heard again, the static radio sound calmed down again too. The tall man slowly turned around now, his hand engulfing your own, his fingers softly running over your own, before he linked them together. How he had missed this feeling, despite having a distaste for people touching him, you were different. Your touch felt warm, like the summer sun kissing his skin, it felt comforting.

"I've missed you mon amour.." His voice was soft, probably the softest it had ever been since he had arrived in hell. His hand guides yours up to his lips, as he closes his eyes and presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand, a smile, now softer, on his lips. He was never one for kissing you on the lips, he definitely favored kissing your hand, like the gentleman he has always been. "I figured with how you were talking seconds ago my dear.." A soft smile was creeping up onto your lips too, mirroring his own one. Red eyes open again, your hand still pressed to his face, but now he was rather holding your hand to his cheek. "Oh how I wished I could've stayed with you my darling, we would've been so successful.." Giggling at his words, with him at your side, you probably would have been going for a long time. "But who says we can't be successful now?" A smirk etched its way onto your husband's face, oh how he loved your daring little mind, always thirsting for blood. With you by his side again now, he would definitely be able to get everything done that he wanted.

"Shall we go back? I want to meet your friends properly." Wanting to pull away your hand, he softly gives you a tug, your head landing on his chest now. Wide eyes look the the side now, as you weren't really able to move, his arms having snaked around you and his chin resting on your head. This was unusual much physical contact, but figured that you hadn't seen each other for multiple decades he yearned for your touch just a slight bit. Your arms lying around him, embracing the hug. "Let's just stay here a few minutes more, we got enough time to introduce you to everyone down there but for now.. let me have you for myself." Nodding softly, your head rests on his chest, as your eyes close and you simply enjoy the presence of your dearly beloved husband.

"What do you mean 'married to smiles'?!" Angel, as he was introduced to you, shouted from his place on the couch now, staring at you flabbergasted. "We've been married for quite a few years before his death." Smiling you answered his question. Alastor didn't like all the attention you were getting, but sooner than later he would have you all to himself again when you two go back to his cozy hotel room or the radio tower. "So you two fu-" Angel wasn't even able to finish his question before he shut himself up as he noticed the look on Alastors face. This time he would've been dead for sure if he finished that question.

Overall everyone invited you happily into their little hotel family, it was amazing. Charlie immediately took a liking to you and if you're being honest she quickly was viewed by you like a daughter.

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Fuck being nice to you

Tags: Nanami x Reader, nsfw, mdni, exhibitionism, cock worshipping

An: I’m thinking about either doing a part two or an alternate ending where Satoru ends up joining in 🤭

“Yn, this is ridiculous- Come out from under there… No, come on. Someone’s going to see you- You want me to…. Yn, darling, that’s too risky. I promise we can do whatever we want as soon as we’re home. Just let me.. Ngh~ fuck.. don’t… don’t look at me like that.. Oh.. my god, where did you learn that..? F-fuck… This is so… irresponsible- You’re going to.. ngh agh! .. pay for this, you little m-minx.”

That’s what Nanami sounded like as you climbed under his desk, begging to taste him while you two were at work. You had successfully undone his belt buckle, and pulled his length out from his boxers and slacks.

Nanami is such a handsome, well put together man. He always smelled so clean with an undertone of his woodsy cologne. He kept himself nicely groomed… everywhere. He wasn’t shaved completely because neither he nor you liked the look. So, he kept his blondish pubic hair trimmed down for you.

His dick was also just… pretty? You always thought that was impossible after your years of being sent unsolicited dick pics by disgusting men, but Nanami?? No, his cock was pretty, long, and cut. Along his shaft, he had one protruding vein that ran up the underside of his dick. His tip was thick and swollen. It was always such a pretty shade of red when you made him hard like this. When you held it in your hands, it was nice and heavy too. You wondered how he managed to walk with that thing.

You had pressed his cock up against your face, and you fluttered your eyes up to look at him while his length was nuzzled against your cheek. It was nearly bigger than your face for fucks sake. Nanami had no business keeping weapon like that on him.

Nanami’s face burned bright red as he told you not to look at him like that. You looked so pretty on your knees below his mahogany wooden desk. All he wanted to do was wreck you, but he tried to force those thoughts aside.

Nanami was a lover in bed. He loved to kiss on you, dote on you, rub on you, make you feel so so good. He cherished and respected your body wholeheartedly. He fucking loves you. But sometimes… on rare occasions, Nanami felt the sick intense need to just ruin you. ravage you. wreck you. use you. fuck you until he’s shooting blanks.

Seeing you look up at him all nice and pretty with his cock so blatantly pressed against your face just sent his brain into overdrive.

He let out small groans as you licked his tip, teasing the very sensitive portions of his length with your tongue. He held one of his hands over his mouth to mask some of his noises. You two were still in his office, and anyone could walk in at anytime. His other hand was grasping the back of your hair, entangling his fingers in your soft locks.

A gasp left his mouth as soon as he felt your plush lips wrap around his girthy length. The wet noises that left your mouth soon following were nothing short of pornstar worthy.

You had this grown ass man moaning, growling, and shaking with your mouth alone as you sucked, licked, and kissed all along his length. You were absolutely sloppy with it too. He was always clean and put together, and you just wanted to defile him.

A mixture of your spit and his precum was gathered at the base of his length from you bobbing your head up and down. Spit trickled down his balls, and you used your hand to cup them.

“You’re so f..fucking good at this..” He groaned lowly as he kept his eyes on you. It was like watching an artist at work. “So fucking perfect… my good girl.” He cooed as he petted your head, still trying to repress the thoughts of making you his fucktoy.

His praise only seemed to make you work harder for him, swallowing and gagging around his length. You would hum and whine from the discomfort, sending vibrations up his cock. Small tears involuntarily dripped down your cheeks.

Gods, he was so fucking torn. On one hand, he wanted to wipe your tears away and tell you to be gentle with yourself. On the other, he wanted to yank your hair and make you take more of him. In his intoxicated state, he ended up doing both.

“Don’t push yourself too hard.” He chided as he forced his length down your throat.

He sounded like an absolute asshole.

If your mouth wasn’t full of cock, you’d probably giggle at his little blunder.

He was close. so fucking close. He could feel his balls tightening as he started to rut his hips upward, making you take more of him in at his pace.

So close. He was right on the edge when his office door opened.

Violence was a necessary part of Nanami’s career. He didn’t ever search it out by picking fights with people. He actually didn’t even enjoy confrontation all too much, but he wanted to fucking kill whoever was daring to interrupt his moment with you.

Nanami’s eye visibly twitch when none other than Satoru Gojo walked into his office. He was not in the mood, and he was all out of patience right now for the white-haired man.

Now, your sweet husband assumed you’d.. you know… pause your sucking while his coworker friend? was in the room. Unfortunately for him, he was unaware of your sick and twisted sense of humor.

“Nanami~” Satoru’s voice drawled in a whine as he dramatically flopped himself over the back of the chair across from Nanami’s desk.

“What is it-“ Nanami’s eyes almost rolled back into his head as you slowly took his length back into your mouth. “-Gojo?” He added as he gripped the sides of his chair tightly. His veiny hand was red, and his knuckles were turning white.

“Someone ate my dessert in the break room.” Satoru dramatically whined again. “Who would do such a thing? I’m wanting to launch an investigation.”

“Are you seriously bothering me about this right now?” Nanami hissed in a more vicious tone than he normally used. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he needed Satoru to just fuck off right now.

You swallowed his length, trying to be semi-quiet about it, but there was some wet noises. Nanami quickly coughed and shifted around in his seat. You were going to pay for this.

“Why are you so grumpy, Nanamin?” Satoru asked, unfazed by Nanami’s harsh tone. He was used to it by now. The white haired male cocked and eyebrow and lazily smirked at your husband. “Wife problems already?” He taunted.

Oh yeah, Nanami had a wife problem alright. His problem was that his wife was on her knees practically begging to be fucked.

“What do you know about-“ Nanami coughed loudly again to prevent from moaning as your tongue swirled around his tip. “- wife problems?”

“Uh… Nanamin, are you okay?” Satoru asked as he tilted his head to the side.

“Yeah.. yeah.. Actually- no, I think I’m falling ill. I think you should g-go now… I don’t want to contaminate you..” You didn’t know your husband could be such a filthy liar, but here he was. His voice was breathy and needy. He was nearly panting in front of his coworker.

“Oh- Oh ew.” Satoru’s face twisted in disgust as he hated getting sick. “Text me if you need anything, Nanamin.” He said as he promptly left the room.

As soon as Gojo was gone, Nanami rolled back in his chair quickly so he could get a good look at you.

“C’mere.” He grunted as he grabbed you by your blouse. He stood up out of his chair, pulling you to your feet.

He spun you, so his chest was against your back, and he carefully tread his hands up your sides, feeling up your curves that your pencil skirt didn’t bother to hide in the slightest.

He then gently tugged your hair back, causing for you to lean your head back into his shoulder with a small yelp. His lips ghosted over your ear. “Did you have fun making me look like a mess in front of Gojo, hm?”

You’re such a brat sometimes. You nod your head and let out a small giggle, remembering Nanami stuttering over his words and shaking while you sucked him off under the desk.

“Yeah? Was it funny?” He asked as his hand pressed to the center of your back, and he bent you over his desk. “You want to act like a whore so badly; I might as well fuck you like one, isn’t that right baby?” He purred into your ear, making your eyes widen. Nanami had never spoken to you like that before in the past. You didn’t even know he was capable of degrading you.

You fucked up.

Nanami curses as he looks at your plush ass against his bare cock. He’s carefully rutting it against your backside while he’s intoxicated by the way his cock looks buried between your clothed cheeks.

“Ken~” You moan as you arch your back up off the desk a bit more.

“Shut up.” He demands lowly. He can’t hear your whiny voice right now while he’s trying to hold whatever sliver of self restraint he has left.

“Mmnnph.. p-please..” Your whimper sends him over the edge.

“Fuck being nice to you.” He growls lowly as he pushes your tight skirt up and over your ass. He marvels at how pretty you look, bent over his desk like this.

Slap!

His hand forcibly connects with your bottom, causing you to jolt forward from surprise. A small whimper escaped your mouth. “T-too loud..”

“You didn’t seem to care earlier when Satoru was in the room. Is it different when he’s the one hearing you slurping?” He taunts lowly, and he gives your ass another firm spank.

“N-no!” You whine out.

“You wanted him to hear you, didn’t you?” Your husband growls as he swats you again.

“No, I-I just wanted t-to make you feel good.” You’re practically searching for friction on his desk. The ache deep inside you feels like torture. You raise your hips again, hoping Nanami will finally just take you.

Your words tug at his heartstrings a bit. Deciding you’ve had enough punishment, he pulls your panties down around your ankles. He carefully presses his fingertips to your warm, wet heat, and he groans from the feeling.

“You’re this wet from sucking me and getting spanked?” God, you’re a national treasure to him. So perfect in every way.

You weakly nod and hum in approval. You try to push back on his fingers, but they were already gone. The sound of clothes shuffling filled the room as Nanami pushed his pants and boxers further down his thighs for easier access.

He looks down at you with a barely noticeable smirk as your displayed so prettily for him over his desk. His wife’s pretty cunt was practically begging to be fucked, and who was he to deny her that pleasure?

A small grunt escapes his mouth as he aligns himself with your dripping entrance. He feels a bit of resistance against his cock that normally isn’t there. He normally preps you a lot more, given that he knows his size can be uncomfortable if not properly prepared.

“Ken.. ngh.. p-prep?” You breathily ask as you drag your hips upward, presenting yourself to him like a bitch in heat.

“No, I want you to feel this, baby.” He lowly coos before burying himself to the hilt deep inside of you. Your fingernails claw at the desk, and tears spring into your eyes involuntarily.

“F-fuck!” You whimper out, trying to hold yourself together.

Nanami lets out a quiet groan from the feeling. You’re squeezing him so perfectly right now. His hands trap you against the desk, and he pulls all the way until just his tip is in before pushing back inside forcefully. He repeats this motion a few times, making you feel every inch of him. You did this to him. You asked for this.

Small whiny gasps and moans fled your mouth. You tried to be quiet. You really did, but it was so hard when he was fucking you so deliciously from behind, making your cunt squelch with each forceful thrust.

“I hope he comes back and sees you like this.” Nanami growls lowly in your ear. “.. sees my pretty wife.. ngh fuck! .. taking my cock so well..”

His words literally have you hypnotized. The thought of someone walking in was frightening yet erotic at the same time.

“I wouldn’t stop either.” He goes on as his hips clap against your ass. “I’d let him watch how I fuck my wife.”

“Ken~” You whine from his vulgar words. You’re practically seeing stars as he hits all the right places. He knows you like the back of his hand. He knows just how you like to be fucked.

As you turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, Nanami growls from the look on your face. You look so fucked out and cock drunk already. He can’t hold back anymore.

His grasp on your hips is nearly bruising as he pounds himself into you, not caring about the noise. The desk creaks and scrapes against the ground with each powerful thrust. You try to keep yourself together as he fucks you into oblivion, but your body is nothing but a puddle.

“F-fuck~! Ken, I- .. cumming..” You barely manage to warn him before you’re spasming on his cock. He fucks you through your orgasm until you’re panting and whimpering against his desk. You weakly try to sit up, but his large hand catches your shoulder and forces you back down.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He lowly growls as he resumes his harsh thrusts. Your hands grab at the desk tightly, and your eyes screw shut as your poor cunt is so sensitive.

“Fucking… ah~ fucking take it, slut.” He demands as he rails you from behind. His thrusts are growing erratic and uncoordinated. He’s so close for the second time. He leans down over your back, and he bites down on your shoulder harshly before pumping you full of his cum. Your sloppy hole clenches around him as you find your second orgasm. Something about Nanami taking what’s his just really did it for you.

Slowly, he releases your shoulder from his teeth, and he presses soft kisses into the bite mark. “Are you okay, my love?” His adoring tone his back.

“‘m perfect..” You mumble quietly, on cloud 9 from receiving the best dick of your life.

“That you are, darling. So perfect.” He praises as he trails his kisses up the side of your neck. “I love you so much. You’re such a good wife.” His lips press against your jaw and cheek. “and a good girl too.”

“So, I’m not a slut?” You ask with a small giggle, remembering how he degraded you for the first time earlier.

“You’re my slut.” He quietly corrects with a soft chuckle. He then quietly hisses as he pulls out of you. He watches as some of his cum trickles down your swollen cunt. “So pretty.” He murmurs quietly as he leans into your heat and presses a small kiss to your sensitive folds, making you shiver.

“You’re not going to get any work done at this rate, Nanamin.” You playfully chide as you bite your bottom lip, silently hoping he’ll kiss your cunt again.

“Fuck that work.” He grumbles lowly before pressing another wet kiss against your core as you tremble before him.

He didn’t get any work done that day.

tags: @theuniversesnepobaby @lemonlimecrystal-blog

[monzabee]

the smallest man who ever lived - cl16

masterlist || part 2 || part 3 ||

Summary: The one where you’re thrown into a conundrum when you learn the news of your husband, Charles’, infidelity.

Pairing: charles leclerc x wife!reader; carlos sainz x reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: angst, cheating, crying, manipulation(?), charles is an absolute asshole (but so is the reader) (but she’s kinda also badass?) (toxic relationship?), even more assholish carlos (gasp), blackmail, mention of pregnancy, mention of sex and sexual acts, physical confrontation (literally just pushing someone off but still)

Request: “Hey girl can I request something angsty with Charles? Maybe Charles cheating on Y/N (we’re already famous and have been married to Charles for years) and the fighting, the finding out, his guilt, angst, etc.”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! thank you to the anon who requested this because i had the time of my life working on it, and it might be the first fic i wrote in one go for the last six months or so!! also thank you to the getting cheated on playlists i found on spotify and amy dunne for giving me the inspiration to make the reader as toxic as i could. special thanks to @norrisleclercf1 and @percervall who had to listen to me talk about this fic NONSTOP. this is definitely something very different to what i usually write, but i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

There are moments in life where you feel like a complete and utter idiot. Although it could be for no apparent reason at all, there is a perfectly explainable reason why you feel like that right now, in the middle of your trailer on the set, with your manager and publicist both looking at you like you could explode at any given moment. It took you a good amount of time to wrap your head around the news, the news that wrecked you into a million of pieces which left you as the only person who can put them back together.  

“Let me get this straight,” you start, still trying to wrap your head around the news, “they were photographed leaving the club, and there’s a–?” 

“Sex tape, yes.” Your manager mumbles, earning himself a side-eye from your publicist. “It was so kindly attached to the email.”  

“And it is anonymous?” You ask, earning curt nods from both. “Well,” you manage to get out, pressing your lips together not to let out a sob, or a laugh, both? “That is very ambitious of him.” 

Your publicist shares a concerned look with your manager, then turns to you, “I guess so? How would you want us to handle this? I can buy us some time until these are released to public, but I think getting a statement ready just in case is essential given the fact that both of you are public figues. We can say that you’ll attend marriage councelling–” 

Your loud laugter cuts her off in the middle of her sentence. “And just why would we do that?” 

“I–” She gives you another concerned look as she softens her voice, which is quite uncharacteristic for her, you realise. “How would you want us to approach it then?” 

“I don’t want you to approach it at all.” You voice cuts through the tension, your gaze fixed on her. “I’ll handle it.”  

“But Charles–” She tries to reason, but you cut her off again.  

“Decided to get his dick wet where it certainly didn’t belong, he’s a big boy – he’ll survive.” Fixing her with a final look, you turn to your manager instead. “I don’t want this going to Charles or his team’s ears, that’s what the email said, and we should honour it, no?”  

His expression turns into a smirk, matching the one playing on your lips as he nods in thougt, “Would you like us to do anything else? We can talk with the production if you need a couple of days to… well, recuperate. Greta would understand.” 

“No.” Your answer is final as you shake your head. “She thinks this is an Oscar worthy project, I’m not throwing it away because my husband decided to think with his dick and not his brain. Just call my lawyers and tell them to be on stand by.” 

“Should I also book you tickets to Monaco still?” He asks in a monotone tone. 

“Well of course,” you reply in a sweet voice, widening your eyes for dramatic effect, “it’s a family event.” 

Your publicist eyes the both of you, “Okay,” as she drags the word out, “are you sure you don’t want to take a couple of days off?” 

“Positive. I have an EGOT to win.” Raising the script you have in your hands in the air, you announce, “I have lines I need to go over, is that all?”  

And as they leave your trailer to give you some space to ‘go over your lines’, you let a few tears escape your eyes, promising yourself that you would make Charles feel a thousand worse what he made you feel in the moment. 

It is not surprising or a sudden revelation that Monte Carlo has good weather all year around. But as it happens with the last few weeks following you learning about your husband’s infidelity, all you feel is cold – and no amount of warm weather is enough to make your heart feel warmer again. As you stand at the terrace of Café de Paris, overlooking the cityscape of Monte Carlo, all you can think about is how you just want to get this part of you plan over with as fast as possible.  

“Chérie!” The voice you hear makes a lump perpetually situate itself in the middle of your throat, but you brace yourself for the worst as you turn on your heels to face the person you’re most scared of facing in this whole situation. “Look at you, you look incroyable! You had me scared when you told me you were catching the redeye, and that we just had to talk!” 

“Pascale,” you breathe out as the woman pulls you into her arms with the warmness of any mother would do, and for that brief moment, you feel better than you have in weeks. “It’s so nice to see you again,” giving her the warmest smile you can muster up in the circumstances as you pull back, fixing your gaze at the figure behind her as you nod your head in acknowledgement, “Arthur.” 

“Maman is right,” Arthur says as he opens his arms, “you do look good.”  

“Well, thank you.” You reply as you give him a quick hug, and motion the table as you pull back. “Shall we?” Call it common curtesy, or cowardice, the fact that you don’t directly get to the point. Either way, you talk about what you’ve missed in the couple of months in which you’ve been away filming. You’re not necessarily paying attention, though the endtail of Pascale’s sentence catch your attention. “Excuse me, can you repeat that?” 

“Well, I was just telling how sad I was that Charles doesn’t come home as often this season. Though I understand he’s coming out to see you on set, distance can be so hard even for–” 

“He’s not coming out to see me, Pascale.” You voice is softer, and appears more broken than you would want it to be, but your words convey the message enough. It takes you a couple of moments to organise your thoughts, and Arthur calling out your name, to get you back into the moment. “There’s something I need to talk with the both of you, something I’ve already talked with Lorenzo, but I thought it would be better for you to hear it from me.”  

“Okay?” Arthur mumbles, then gives you a supportive smile, “You can tell us anything. Though don’t tell me I’m about to be an uncle because I don’t think my ego can take it at the–” 

You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat as you direct your words to the woman sitting across from you. “I’m divorcing your son, and I thought you should hear it from me and not him.”  

It takes a few minutes for both Pascale and Arthur to say something, and it concerns you that you somehow managed to give your mother in law a brain aneurism, but eventually, she manages to get out, “What? How? Why? Are you okay?”  

“I’m… fine.” You reply, albeit it comes off calculated. “I found a couple of weeks ago that he was cheating on me, I’ve came back to give him the papers myself.”  

“He what?” Arthur exclaims, then realises the level of his voice, and lowers it down as he asks, “Are you sure this is not a misunderstanding? The guy has been in love with you for over a decade, he wouldn’t do this.” With a resigning sigh, you find what you’re looking for in your phone and hand it over to Arthur. Who then, upon seeing what you have pulled up, immediately hands it back to you and turns to his mother, “Trust me you don’t want to see it.” 

“I’ve came to tell you the news, and well, to apologise.” You turn to face Pascale again.  

“Apologise?” She repeats, “Why on earth would you apologise to me when my son cheated on you?” 

“You’ve been nothing but kind to me ever since we’ve met, both of you.” You acknowledge Arthur with a look, and then focus your attention back on the woman, “Though I will make sure you don’t get caught in the crossfire in any way, I wanted to apologise for what I’m about to put your son through.”  

You honestly don’t know how you manage to act as if everything has been going fine in your life during race day. Given the fact that your husband doesn’t expect you to be at his race due to your rigorous filming schedule, and his family members being willing to hide your existence from him, you have no obstacles in your way to carry out the rest of your plan in motion. Which is exactly why you’re sat in the dark, waiting for your husband to walk through the doors of your apartment overlooking the city. With you seemingly being absent for the weekend, he has no reason to not believe that he is coming to an empty house.  

So, imagine his surprise when he enters his home; with his girlfriend in his arm, no less, and sees his wife sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and a drink in her hand. The look on his face is priceless, and despite all the pain and frustration you’re feeling, it manages to bring you some semblance of joy, knowing that it’s going to hurt him just as much as it hurt you.  

“Ma chérie,” Charles stammers, eye wide as he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights, “I – I didn’t know y–you were coming back this weekend.” 

“Well obviously,” you scoff, taking a generous sip from the drink in the glass tumbler in your hand, “otherwise you wouldn’t bring your little girlfriend into my house to fuck her.” You hear a gasp from the scaredy brunette wedging herself closer to your husband’s side, and for the first time you take a good look at her – young, much younger than you, tall, leggy; all the telltale signs that she is exactly your husband’s type. Tilting your head to the side, you rest the glass on the arm of the armchair you’re sitting in, “If you could leave now, I would greatly appreciate it.”  

You hear Charles whisper something in her ear, probably telling her to leave and that he’ll contact her tomorrow, and watch as she gives him a scowl, screeching, “You’re just going to let her throw me out?” 

“Well, considering the fact that this is my house, yes.” You give her a look of pity, watching her face light up with anger.  

“Listen to me, you bitch–” She starts, but your husband quickly cuts her off.  

“Mon cœur!” He exclaims, “S'il te plaît!” 

“Yes, listen to him, like a good little girl,” you egg her on, a smirk widening on your lips as you start swinging the leg resting on your lower one, choosing to focus on your nails instead of your husband trying to soothe his lover. 

You hear her scoff, take a few steps as her heels click on the marble floor of the entrance, “I wouldn’t be so calm if I were you, I’m not someone you want to be on bad terms with, considering the fact that he’s going to leave you for me!” 

“Oh, honey,” you coo, focusing your attention back on her and seeing the look of concern in your husband’s face through the corner of your eye, “and when did he tell you that, like a year ago? Two? Three?” A realisation dawns on her face as the smug expression starts to fade. “Don’t worry, though, you can have him when I’m done with him.” Pushing yourself off the armchair, you down the rest of the drink in the glass before slamming it down onto the glass coffee table. “And not only do I not care if you think I'm a bitch, but I hugely prefer it. Now get the fuck out of my house before I call security and get your ass thrown out.”  

You watch as she looks at Charles with indignation, lets out another screeching sound and slams the door behind her as she stomps out of your apartment. Only then you turn your gaze back to your husband, who has the guts to look at you with a worried look on his face. “How long have you known?” Is the first thing he asks you, taking a few steps closer.  

“A couple of weeks, a month, maybe?” You answer him, leaving your place to get to the small bar in the corner of your living room to get another refill of your drink. “There’s a video of the two, it somehow got into my hands, and it has very graphic details of the two of you having sex.” Popping a lemon into your cup, you make your way back to the armchair and sit down, “Are you stupid enough to cheat on me and make a fucking sex tape, Charles?” 

“I-I didn’t mean to–” He tries to plead, but you cut him off with a shake of your head.  

“You didn’t mean to what?” You ask him; your voice soothing, almost understanding, and it does the job of fooling him. “Cheat on me? Fuck another woman in my bed? Break the vows you’ve made?”  

“Ma chérie,” he whispers, “please.” 

“No.” Your voice is colder all of a sudden. “Tell me how long this has been going on for. Was I right? How many years?” 

“It started five years ago,” his voice is soft, somber and he tries to appear as genuine as he can in the situation, you suppose, “but I knew her, from before...” 

“Before what?” You’re seething now, the complete opposite of his calmness, “Did you fucking cheat me when we were dating, Charles?” 

“Ma chérie,” he gives you another pleading look, “please, I can change. I’ll go to therapy.”  

Now that, manages to get a bark of laughter from you. It’s ripped from the back of your throat, making you throw your head back as you lose yourself in the laughter to the point that there are tears in your eyes when you finally manage to calm yourself down. Putting the glass down on the coffee table once again, you wipe them off, mindful of your mascara, as you shift your attention back onto your husband. “Are fucking kidding me right now?” He gives you a concerned look, hands on his hips as he opens his mouth to answer you, but you quickly shut him down again. “You were bringing her into my house to fuck her, I caught you, I have your fucking sex tape – which is going to be streamlined for the world to see within twenty-four hours, do you honestly think I would go back to you?”  

“Wait, what?” He exclaims, looking at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression. “What do you mean they are going to streamline it, why didn’t you go to the lawyers? 

“I did go to the lawyers,” you shrug, innocently, “my lawyers,” you point out. “Why would I cover up your mistakes after everything you’ve done?” 

“Because I’m your fucking husband!” He barks, his arms widening to his sides as he finally loses his mask and his composure.  

His little tantrum only makes you let out another laugh, “Now, you’re my husband? Not when you’re cheating on me when I’m away shooting, but when you need me to clean up after your mistakes?” 

“How did you even get the video?” He asks, eyes narrowing down, “Who- who– who?” 

“Who? Who? Hoo? What are you, a fucking owl?” You exclaim, this time raising your voice. “You’re honestly more concerned about where I got it and not about the fact that the entire world is about to see you fucking someone other than your wife?” 

“What are we doing to do?” He asks, “Fuck, I have a race tomorrow.” 

“We’re not going to do anything.” You shrug, leaning forward to grab the glass and take another sip, “Or scratch that, we’re actually going to do something.” You stand up from the armchair, walk towards the table and hand him the file. “Congratulations, we’re getting a divorce.” 

“That is not happening.” He scoffs, not even bothering to look at the papers.  

“I don’t think you’re in the position to bargain with me, Charles.” You seethe, “You’re going to sign the damn papers, and you’re also going to sign away your rights to the baby.”  

“What the–?” He looks at you in disbelief, “You’re pregnant?” 

“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” You bite out, “Like you wanted.” 

“You’ve been drinking the entire night.” He points to the glass, “Do you expect me to believe you’re pregnant?” 

Offering him a sweet smile you hand him the glass, tipping it towards him, “It’s soda water, would you like a sip?” 

“Don’t make me do this,” he pleads, “give me another chance.” 

“I would’ve, if you were honest with me from the start.” You resign, a sincere look in your eyes. “I’ll give you a choice: us, or her.”  

He rears back with the offer, looking at you in disbelief. “What?” 

“You either choose me and the baby or you choose to be with her, and in that case, I will never let you near my baby, Charles.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around your stomach protectively.  

For a second, his eyes linger around your stomach.   But you know his choice when he meets your eyes again.  

“What have we done to each other?” He whispers, and you can barely see the tears in his eyes.  

“We didn’t do anything, Charles. I gave up everything for you, but you just took me for granted.” Walking back to the dining table, you grab your coat and bag, and when you come face to face with him again, your voice is soft despite all the anger you still feel towards him. “You, Charles Leclerc, are truly the smallest man who ever lived.”  

The hotel lobby is calm and empty as you sit at the bar, and it’s surprising when you consider that fact that it is the weekend of the Monaco Grand Prix, meaning that there must be hundreds and thousands of motorsports fans visiting. Not that you’re complaining about the silence, of course. After the night you’ve had, silence and calmness are all you could ask for.  

“I’ll get a whiskey, please, whatever top shelf stuff you’ve got.” A voice cuts through the moment you are having, and you instantly recognise the distinct accent of the stranger sitting next to you. “Thought you were in the States, finishing off filming.” This time, the comment is directed to you, and you roll your eyes as you push the empty glass towards the bartender on duty.  

With a sigh, you turn to the man on your right, “What do you want, Carlos?” Your voice conveys your lack of energy, and Carlos is not dumb enough not to notice the dark circles under your eyes beneath your makeup.  

“I came to check on you.” Is his answer. Simple, curt and to the point. You’d certainly appreciate it more if you had the patience for his antics.  

“Well, you did, have a good night.” Slamming down a hundred-Euro bill onto the counter, you make a move to get up from your place, but a gentle hand on your wrist stops you. “Let me go.”  

Though there is no venom to your voice, Carlos knows that it is not the time, nor the place, to test your patience. “I’m sorry,” he starts and when you take a good look at him, you can tell that he’s being sincere, “I really did want to check up on you, and considering the fact that you have a perfectly good penthouse but instead in a hotel, I think I was right to do so.”  

Crossing your arms across your chest as you get back onto the barstool with a huff, you glare at him lightheartedly, “I didn’t want to stay in the same house as him,” raising your eyebrows, you continue with a lower voice, “thanks to chilisade5594@gmail.com, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” The way his cheeks redden under the dim lights of the lobby bar would make you chuckle under normal circumstances, but you push the thought aside, “Honestly, what were you thinking? You’re lucky it was me who realised it was you, if it was my agent or publicist, we’d have another scandal to deal with.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off with a swat of his hand, “I’m sorry I put you into that position.” 

“Don’t be,” you mumble, tilting your head to the side, “I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t sent me the video. Just tell me why you did it.” 

“What?” He turns you with a confused look on his face.  

“Why, Carlos?” You ask, voice encouraging yet soft, “Why did you send it? Why now?” 

He keeps quiet for a while, not answering your questions but not taking his gaze off you either. Eventually, he exhales a deep sigh as he gives you a sheepish shrug, “I didn’t like the way he treated you. And I didn’t want to make you worry about it without concrete proof, so I guess everything just... worked out.”  

“Huh,” you let out a small hum in agreement, “I guess you’re right.”  

Expecting more than the words you chose to answer him with, he raises an eyebrow as he takes a big gulp of whiskey from his glass. “That’s it?” 

“Well, what more is it there to say?” You ask, sheepishly shrugging. “We’re getting a divorce; he’s going to move out and I’m gonna make sure the entire world knows just why.” 

Carlos flags down the bartender as he mumbles, “I feel like you need a stronger drink if we’re going to talk about your impending divorce, cariño.” 

Taking a deep breath and exhaling an even deeper sigh, you shake your head. “I can’t.” Thank God Carlos is one of the people who is the proud owner of a braincell around you, because he catches your insinuation quickly.  

With widened eyes, he quickly turns towards you, eyes softening as you offer him a sad smile. “Dios mío,” he murmurs, eyes running over you worriedly, “are you okay?” 

“Well... no.” You let out an unexpected laugh at his expression, patting him on the shoulder lightheartedly. “I’ll be fine, Carlos, I’m a big girl. I can handle this.” 

“I know you will,” he assures you, “but does Charles know?” 

Now that manages to bring a grimace to your face. “He signed his parental rights away along with the divorce papers.” The look he gives you after hearing your words has you worried that his eyes are going to pop out of their sockets, but you try to calm him down as best as you can. “Carlos, it’s fine.” 

“It’s most certainly not!” He exclaims, his voice echoing in the almost empty hotel lobby. “Is he out of his mind?”  

You give him an awkward smile and another shrug of your shoulders. "I... feel like whatever I’m going to say is going to be wrong. So... yes?”

“Cariño,” he says, exasperated, “how are you so normal about this?” 

“Lots of women raise their kids as single mothers while working, Carlos.” Your expression quickly taking the form of a frown, “I can handle this, I don’t need Charles or anyone else to hold my hand and tell me I’m doing such a good job.” 

“I know you can do this alone, tonta,” he rolls his eyes as the endearment making you roll your eyes, “but you’re not going to be alone. Because I’m here.” There’s a certain finality to his words. And just as you’re about to object to his words, he quickly shuts you down. “I know you can do this on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”  

“What if I need waffles in the middle of the night?” You ask, your eyebrow raised in a skeptical way.  

“I’ll adjust my pancake recipe.” His reply his immediate, and he shrugs lightly as he adds, “Pancakes are better, anyway.”  

Rolling your eyes you continue, “What if I need someone to hold my hand in the delivery room? It can get quite gruesome, you know?” 

He provides you with another nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never really been affected by it.”  

“Okay, this is ridiculous, Carlos!” You exclaim, pushing yourself off your seat as you turn your body to face him. “I don’t need you to bail me out, I don’t need your help!” 

“I know you don’t,” he nods.  

“I am capable of doing this on my own!” You shriek, and the fact that your face is starting to get progressively redder worries Carlos.  

“I know you are, but–” he tries to reason.  

“No buts! I’m going to be a good mother, okay?” You point an accusatory finger towards him. “I’m going to choose him!” 

The way your voice breaks at the end of your sentence has Carlos instinctively pull you into his arms, which is not that hard given the fact that you are almost the same height as him as you stand in front of the bar stool he’s sitting on, and he doesn’t say a word as you sob into his chest – letting out all the emotion you’ve bottled up over the past few weeks, no less. He doesn’t you offer you empty promises or tries to soothe you with cliché phrases. Instead, he stands still, holding you between his arms as you sob continuously into his chest. Giving the bar tender an awkward smile over your shoulder, he hands him his card to close out your tabs.  

He only starts talking again once you’ve pulled away and trying to wipe the remnants of your tears from under your eyes. “Do you feel better now?” He asks, handing you a napkin.  

“Yeah,” you mumble, sniffing as you play with the corners of the napkin. Then, you flip your eyes toward his, and fix him with a glare. “You are not becoming my kid’s stepdad.” 

“Of course not, cariño,” he assures you, “I’ll be the dad that stepped up instead.” 

You let out a teary chuckle as you slap him lightly on his chest. “I’m serious, Carlos.” 

“So am I.” He replies softly, and you can see the genuine look on his face. “You’re not alone anymore, I’m choosing you.” Tentatively, he presses his hand softly against your stomach as he maintains your gaze. “Both of you.” 

And though the last thing you want is a promise, this one seems like a real one. So, you let yourself believe that he might just keep it up. 

[hannieehaee]

Hi!! Could you do a fic where Jeonghan is being the menace that he is, but his partner is the only one who can quell him with one look pls? Like he is just super soft w her and always listens cos he’s a simp?

content: simp!jeonghan, established relationship, afab reader, slightly suggestive, etc.

wc: 1156

a/n: this was based on that one scene from nana tour in which jeonghan basically waterboarded mingyu for absolutely no reason (ik he was on a mission but he drenched him ?!\>\£). hope u enjoy <3

masterlist

jeonghan was always known to be a bit of a menace by all his friends.

well, maybe even more than just his friends. after all, there was a reason why he was often called the loki of seventeen by many of his fans.

he was simply a bit unconventional in the ways in which he found entertainment, such as the time in which he berated dokyeom into searching for bugs for them to eat on the streets. he simply had a tendency for bugging his members (out of love, of course), becoming an extra obstacle in their lives just for the fun of it.

now, jeonghan also had a heart of gold and far too much love for his brothers to ever actually cause any harm to them. however, after over a decade of knowing his brothers, he had somehow conditioned them to accept his odd behaviors and simply go along with his shenanigans whenever he felt like acting up.

you, as well as his members, always found great entertainment in his weird behaviors. i mean, it takes a great man to be able to cheat his way through every single game without consequence.

despite finding humor in his ways, you would sometimes have a tendency to put a halt to it. a simple whine of 'hannie!' would have him stopping in his tracks and murmuring against your ear as he whined back but relented at you. what you didn't know, however, was that you were the only person who held this power over jeonghan (even his sister would occasionally fall victim to his menacing ways).

today was one of the many instances in which jeonghan grew bored while at practice, deiciding to wreck havoc just for the hell of it. it was easy for him to spot a victim, – it was usually mingyu – which then lead him to approach him with the illest of intentions. there was never much thinking that went into teasing his members. it was just second nature to him by now. so when he eyed the water bottle in mingyu's hand, even the other members who were standing nearby could see what jeonghan's next move would be.

he was patient with it; engaging in conversation as he usually would as to not draw suspicion. jeonghan realized in that moment that maybe his instincive need to bug mingyu for no reason might be something to look into, but that would come some other day. for now, he wanted a quick laugh.

jeonghan saw his opening the moment mingyu uncapped his bottle and brought it to his lips, taking advantage of his calculated proximity to tilt the end of the bottle in order to drench mingyu's face, causing the man to almost choke on the water he'd been drinking.

as expected, this began a mini war between the two boys, as five minutes later they were both attacking each other with any and every water bottle they could find in their vicinity, even going as far as causing collateral damage to a few of the other members. what jeonghan hadnt planned, however, was a sudden visit from you, who had walked in just as jeonghan squirted yet another water bottle directly at mingyu's face.

"jeonghan!", you scolded as soon as you were in earshot, "leave him alone, you got him all drenched!", you were now standing next to the group, frown on your face as you took in the scene.

"baby? what are you doing here? did you–"

"don't 'baby' me. why are you bugging mingyu again? look at him! he's completely wet."

"i got water in my eye!," whined the tall man, taking advantage of your defense for him.

by now, a few of the members nearby were snickering at the swift turn of events, entertained by not just the water fight but the way in which you immediately sided with mingyu rather than your boyfriend.

"i'm wet too! how do you know he didn't start it?", tried jeonghan, knowing full well that the idea was unconvincing.

"hannie, don't lie to me."

"okay, fine. i got bored, okay? it's just water, baby. it's fine. right, mingyu?"

"dude, you fucked up my hair," mingyu didnt seem truly offended, but more so wanting to feed the flames now that he had an opportunity. jeonghan could tell by the slight smirk on his face.

the frown remained on your face, continuing to come in mingyu's defense for some reason unknown to jeonghan.

"jeonghan, apologize to him."

"what?", his wide and incredulous eyes turned to look at you, ignoring the snort he was pretty sure seungkwan had just let out.

"you heard me."

"but–"

"hannie!"

"f– fine," like a petulant child, jeonghan turned to mingyu and gave him a forced smile, "i'm sorry for getting you wet, gyu."

"than–"

"thank you", you interrupted the man.

jeonghan couldnt help but feel scolded by you. it was rare that you actually ever went against his shenanigans, but he did know he could sometimes go a little extra hard on mingyu due to mingyu's disposition to put up with jeonghan with no complaint (usually even fighting back). he was a bit embarrassed by the way in which you sided with him and even berated him in front of his members, but he also knew he could never say no to you, so apologizing just seemed logical to him.

after a few moments of him whining at his members to mind their business and go get their own girlfriends, he dragged you away to a less polluted corner of the practice room to get some one-on-one with you.

"babyyyy," he immediately pouted at you, proceeding to attaching to you like a bear, burying his head into your neck.

"hannie, you're all wet!", you complained despite making no move to push him away, even wrapping your arm around him and running a hand through his damp hair.

"why'd you have to do that? the boys are supposed to think you're obsessed with me," he frowned against your neck.

despite the whine behind his words, you could feel the vibration of his giggles against you and the smile pressed against your neck. as per usual, he was just whining because he could; something which you always found an endearing result to any rare instance in which you'd scold him.

"they're all gonna think im a simp now," he continued.

you giggled at that, causing him to sway you back and forth as he buried himself even deeper against you.

"are you not?", you inquired.

"i am, but they dont need to know that!"

"you're so annoying ..."

"yeah, but you find it fun, don't you?"

"im not at liberty of releasing that information."

he laughed against your neck, reaffirming to himself how much he liked the back and forth between the two of you, even if it meant relenting to you every single time, earning himself the title of simp among his members.

[boofeine]

things that get svt vocal in bed

hello, this is (once was) @wannabelife :/ my acc got suspended, and now im trying to start new on this blog. consider this my first post all over again ig...

WARNINGS: smut headcanons, general reader, mdni

a/n: finals are all done, im baaack fr 🫡 requests are open

tags: @huen1ngk4i @aaniag @svteensworld @unlikelysublimekryptonite

seungcheol gets wrecked with a little bit of pain. nothing too crazy; the grip you have on his biceps, your knuckles white that will leave red marks in his skin later is more than enough to make him lose it. he goes insane when you pull his hair and neck, and scratch his back and abs.

jeonghan loves to hear you, be vocal for him, and you will hear back from him. the little whines of his name you let out makes his cock harder, the low groans making out of his lips as he watches you squirm and moan for him.

joshua loses it all with the skinship. hug him close, press your bodies together tight. he loves how your hard nipples stroke agains his, and your sounds are beautifully on the nap of his ear.

junhui loves when you move to meet up his thrusts. the way you roll your hips onto his while moaning, losing yourself, more desesparate to chase your high than anything else. nothing else matters, makes his hips hault because of you.

soonyoung gets crazy under pressure, truly just push his bottoms "is that all you got?" and he will keep doing a better job each time. he fucks you so good that he, himself, cant believe it feels that amazing, his moans louder and sweaty skin.

wonwoo is only mewling if you edge him, that's the only way you will be hearing those beautiful low husky moans. the overstimulation kicking in, his head going back as he lets out the nastiest moan from the back of his throat with eyes shut.

jihoon is most vocal when you give him head. you will hear him throughout the whole thing, but he gets louder when you look up at him. your gaze fixed on his, his face twisted in pure bliss and plesure, as your mouth is full of him.

seokmin feels he's about to bust his balls when you praise him. "so good, oh my god, you're perfect" "you fuck me so good, im gonna cum" "like that" your sweet words, making him twitch, his lewd moans almost music to your ears.

mingyu gets weak when you take over, rolling his body to the side as you crawl to sit over him. your hands going behind your back, finding stability at his thighs as you ride him with the sounds of him whiny crying out your name.

minghao loves the dirty talk. the way you get bratty and challenging with your words makes him lose it completely. gets him on the edge, grunting and groaning, fucking you restless.

seungkwan also gets louder with a little bit of pain, he's a bit freaky, tho. grip his hair, pull his head back, bite his neck, choke him, i'd even say slap him, i think he can enjoy that too, dig your nails to his skin, and this man will be squirming, moaning, grunting, completely at your mercy.

vernon goes crazy when you beg. the little cry on your tone as you beg him to not stop, to make you cum, to fill you up. and when you wrap your legs around his hips, kneels on his ass and lower back, pulling him deeper inside you, that's his end, he's a sobbing moaning mess.

chan is gasping for air when you put a show for him. his cock dripping and lungs burning as you play with yourself for him, pinching your nipples and swirling on your cunt, has him letting out those needy breathy moans as he watches you.

[prettyfastcars]

wreck my plans | gym trainer!lewis

Summary: Who wouldn’t have a crush on Lewis? He was perfect in every way possible. But he was also your trainer and some lines can’t be crossed… right? 

Themes: smut, explicit language, fluff, gym trainer!lewis

“You need help stretching?” 

Your whole body felt hot at the sound of his voice. And it had nothing to do with the full cardio session you had just had. You looked up and met Lewis’ eyes through the mirror, and gave him a shy smile as you nodded. 

God damn, you thought, who would pass up that opportunity in their right mind? 

Lewis was just that guy. He was always happy, always smiling, always willing to help anyone who walked through the doors of the gym he owned. He made the whole experience just so much better. 

You’d been coming to his gym for a little over a year now and ever since day one, he’s been such a positive influence on you. He was also drop dead gorgeous, and a real good reason why you always wanted to show up at the gym in cute hairstyles and cute outfits. He was such a motivation. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a tiny crush on him which grew every single time you met him. How could you not? He was so dreamy. Perfect face, perfect skin, perfect body. He was smart, kind, and sweet. He had nice hair, and fuck he always looked so good walking around. 

The first time you watched him lift weights you damn near passed out. He somehow looked extra good when he was sweaty. 

And right now, as he helped you stretch your limbs in front of the huge mirrors, your mind went straight to the gutter like it always did. Well, it is kind of an intimate thing to help someone stretch after a workout. Both of you were sweaty and hot, breathing kind of heavy, and he was so close. 

Each time he helped you stretch or cool down after a session, you always wondered if you were overthinking every little thing. Was he touching you more than necessary or was it normal for his hand to linger at your hips like that? Was he just being nice by moving your hair out of your face like that? Was it your imagination or was that really what you thought it was in his gym shorts basically glaring at you? 

No, stop. You’re being inappropriate! 

You shook your head and hissed and groaned through the stretching. 

“That hurts, huh?” He teased, playfully. Like he always does. 

You blew out a loud breath and said, “Yup, it’s always my hips and thighs that bother me.” 

He applied just the slightest bit of pressure as you were stretching your legs and you hissed out loud. Lewis chuckled, which made you glare at him through the mirror. Gods… he was such a beautiful man. Especially with his braids untied like this. 

“Sorry,” He mumbled, “You want the foam roller?” 

“No,” You were quick to say. “That thing is demonic.” 

Lewis laughed then playfully patted your thigh, completely oblivious to the way that made your heart skip a beat. “Okay then, I think we’re good. You’ll be a little sore tomorrow but hey, you did great today.” 

“Thanks.” You basked under the praise like it was the sun. 

“See you later then?” He asked. This had become like a little routine. After your workouts, you’d usually head for the showers while Lewis did a last check and closed for the night. And normally you two walked to the parking lot together where you said your goodbyes and drove off. 

“Yeah,” You gathered your things and said, “See you!” 

It was late, and as usual, you were the only person left. Which meant that you had the showers all to yourself.  

But things happened slightly differently tonight… 

You headed for the showers as usual, but there was this burning desire inside you which felt like it was trying to claw its way out. No matter how much you tried to push aside those wild thoughts you kept having about your trainer, they wouldn’t leave your head. 

And while you showered, hot water falling on your sore body, it was simply too easy to just give in and slide your hand in between your legs, imagining that it was his hand that touched you. It was so easy to imagine it was his tattooed fingers sliding inside you. 

You leaned against the cold tiles, the sound of the falling water concealing your gasps and moans as you came. Fuck. You needed this quick release after all that touching while he helped you stretch earlier. 

You calmed your breathing and racing heart before stepping under the water again, finishing your shower and wrapping a fluffy towel around you. Since there was no one else in the changing area, you figured you could dry off and get changed there. Like you always do. 

But the moment you stepped out of the shower, you heard a familiar voice saying, “You do this often? Masturbate while thinking of me?” 

You looked up, eyes widening as you spotted Lewis standing there with a cocky, dirty smirk on his face. Muscular arms crossed over his perfect torso while he leaned against the lockers. 

You screamed and ran back into the showers and locked the door, leaning against it while you breathed heavily, unable to process what the fuck just happened. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can you die right now? Like right now??? 

You could hear Lewis laughing outside. Sounding as cocky and proud as any male would in this situation. 

“Oh my god.” You groaned out loud. This cannot be happening. This has to be one of those really embarrassing dreams. 

“Hey,” He knocked on the door you were leaning against. “Can we at least talk about it?” 

“No,” You whined. “Let me die and rot here in shame, please.” 

He laughed again. “Oh come on, let’s be grown ups about this. Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s okay.” He tried to sound as supportive as possible, but all he did was sound even more teasing. 

“Please, Lewis.” You groaned again. 

He sighed, then when he spoke up again you could almost hear that mischievous smirk on his pretty lips. “You know, I think it’s unfair that you touch yourself while thinking of me but won’t let me even see it.” 

You groaned out loud again. He laughed again, then knocked again. “Come on, babygirl. Open up.” 

“I can’t.” Your voice came out muffled because you had your face hopelessly hidden in your hands, unable to even face yourself. 

“You can’t hide in there forever.” He reasoned. “Your clothes and stuff are all out there. You’re gonna get cold.” 

Oh great. He probably even saw the ridiculous floral set of underwear you had pulled out of your gym bag earlier. 

“I’ll just die here, thanks.” 

He laughed again. “Look, just come out.” 

Come on. Be a big girl. Realistically, you had to face him anyway. 

“You won’t laugh?” You asked, even though he’d already done so. 

“No,” He said, sounding sincere. “I promise.” 

You opened the door sheepishly, and stepped out while keeping your eyes down and focusing on his shoes. You groaned once you faced him completely. “Look, Lewis, I’m–,” 

“Shh, it’s okay.” He cut you off, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you closer. “Look at me.” 

You kept your eyes on the tattoos around his collar bones that peeked out from under his tight tank top. 

“You weren’t so shy when you were moaning my name just now.” He pointed out, stepping closer and sounding cocky again. You wanted to die all over again. 

“Stop,” You whined, helpless and vulnerable in just your fluffy towel. 

He chuckled, then grabbed your chin and forced you to look into his huge, pretty, brown eyes. “Why didn’t you just ask me to help?” 

Your face felt hot again. “I– what?” 

He gave you a sly smirk. “You know, I would’ve helped if you’d asked me to. I’m pretty sure I would’ve done a much better job than your own fingers did.” 

Okay. Now you really wanted to die. 

You tried to pull away and hide your face again, but he didn’t let you. Instead, he leaned in a little more and waited to see if you’d protest or hesitate. But you didn’t. You remained so still, unable to think about anything else other than how you wanted him. All of him. 

Lewis chuckled before he leaned in for a kiss. Then it all happened so quickly, and with your eyes closed and completely lost in his kiss, you could barely keep track of what was happening as he pulled you closer, picked you up and slammed your back against the wall beside the door you’d just walked out of – all while kissing you hungrily, like he’d been wanting to do that his whole life. 

You couldn’t even form a proper thought as his tongue slipped into your mouth, making you moan into the kiss. Your hands cupped his face as he held you tightly against him. Your core pressed against his firm body as his mouth moved perfectly against yours, driving you crazy.

Your towel came undone in the process and soon, it fell to the ground and neither of you cared. 

He groaned into the kiss as you pressed your hot, wet, naked body against him. He smiled and spread your bare legs apart just a little so he could be closer to you. His hands held you up, securely against him like you weighed nothing. He had a very firm grip on your thigh, his other hand placed right under your ass – holding you up while he kissed you like there was no tomorrow.

His soft, pink lips left yours momentarily to kiss along your jaw, and down your neck, nibbling on your skin and making you moan out loud. “You wanna see what I would do if I was in there?” He asked. “Do you, baby?” 

You could only moan quietly as his hot mouth on your skin drove you insane. 

He pulled away from you for a moment, and stared into your eyes again. “Please tell me you want this too.” He looked you dead in the eyes. His pink lips were slightly swollen. 

You nodded, biting your lip mindlessly at the feral and passionate look in his eyes. He gently brought his hand up to your face, his thumb carefully pulled your lip back, making you release it.

“Let me do that. I’ve been wanting to.” He said. 

Fuck. 

He smirked and leaned in again to kiss you again, and bite your lower lip, tugging on it gently. “I want you,” he whispered against your open mouth, making you lightheaded.  

Feeling a rush of confidence, you reached out and touched him, running your hand down his chest, and sliding your hand into his gym shorts, while he slipped his hand in between your legs.

You were wet, he could tell as he ran his knuckles along your wet folds, smearing your arousal around in the process. He hissed, and chuckled right in your ear as you pulled his cock out and stroked it gently.

He slipped two fingers inside you and grunted in your ear as he felt your warm, wet walls instantly welcoming him in. He curled his fingers inside of you, hitting all the spots he knew you wanted him too.

“Lewis…” you whimpered and closed your eyes when he leaned down and nibbled on your skin around your collar bones. You rocked your hips against his hand involuntarily, and he chuckled as you moaned out loud while he touched you.

“See?” He taunted, “I told you my fingers would feel better than yours did.” 

You moaned again, but gasped in disbelief when he pulled his fingers away and kissed you again instead, holding you tightly against him. With your legs wrapped around his lean waist, his cock briefly brushed against your wet folds in the process and you moaned wantonly through the kiss. He did too. 

You felt him smirk into the kiss as he aligned his tip with your entrance. Then slowly, inch by inch, he pushed himself into you. Stretching you out as he went. His nails digging into your skin as he held you by your hips, and yours clawing at his shoulders as he filled you up nicely. 

You were both panting by the time he filled you up entirely. “Oh fuck…” You gasped. 

“Fuck, baby…” He breathed heavily, giving you a second or two to adjust to his size before he started rocking in and out of you. 

You felt all of him, each stroke making you lose your damn mind. 

“You’re so fucking tight…,” He whispered against your cheek, more so to himself, and it made your face feel all hot again. “I waited so fucking long for this, and fuck, you feel better than I imagined, baby.” 

He was perfect, and you were moaning against his cheek in no time. Occasionally wincing in pain because despite everything, your body was still sore from earlier. But fuck, everything felt good with him. The pleasure and the pain. 

“This is all you needed, huh?” He cooed into your ear, slowing down for just a minute. Just so he could fuck deeper into you, grabbing you at the curve of your ass, holding you against him, as he gradually sped up into you. He dipped his head into the crook of your neck, gently biting down on your shoulder as he let out a smug laugh, “All those times I helped you stretch after your workouts, or when I corrected your forms, I bet you were so turned on each time, huh?”  

You kept your eyes shut, even as he pulled away and you were certain he was looking at you. 

He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke, “Tell me, babygirl. Is this what you do after each session with me? You hide in here and touch yourself while you whisper my name and pretend it’s me touching you, hmm?” 

“Please,” You begged, gasping for air. He felt too good. You were so full. And you just needed to come again. 

His mouth soon found yours and he nibbled on your bottom lip and you let out ragged breaths, your moans getting louder and louder each time his cock stroked your walls. 

“That’s it, get louder for me. There’s no one here but us, baby. No one can hear us.” 

You felt the pressure forming, fiery and pressing inside you. Lewis nibbled at the skin under your ear and you lost all control you had left. Your thoughts became cloudy and all you could focus on was his perfect body moving against you. 

“So fucking good…” he mumbled softly against your skin while he fucked you faster, occasionally growling at how good you felt around him. “Perfect little cunt for me.” 

Your throbbing clit rubbed against his pelvic bone each time he buried himself completely in you, and he soon quickened his pace – earning louder moans and mewls from you. 

“Maybe this can be part of our little routine, huh? Maybe this is the stretching you need after each workout.” He whispered in your ear as he pounded into you as fast as he could, your back slamming into the wall with each thrust. 

You could hear the wet sounds that he caused each time he pushed himself into you and the sounds of your skin slapping against each other was downright sinful. 

He moaned your name right into your ear and the sound sent shivers down your back. Your thighs burned, and your legs started to shake around him as he quickened his pace, pounding into you mercilessly. 

“Are you gonna come for me, babygirl? You’ll come like a good fucking girl for me, won’t you?”

You felt like you were losing your mind. The pleasure, the soreness, the pain, fuck, all of it was too much and you couldn’t hold back anymore. 

You came undone, screaming his name in the process. Walls clenching around him, nails scratching down his shoulders, neck, and back and a loud moan erupting from your mouth – he made you come like no one ever did before. 

His thrusts became irregular and he came right after you did, cock throbbing against your pulsating walls, growling when he felt your walls pulsating violently around him. 

He didn’t pull out immediately after the two of you came.

Your trembling arms held onto his shoulders still, and he gripped your waist, holding you carefully pressed against the wall and his muscular body. He took his time kissing you before he pulled away to look at you.

You realized your legs were numb as he pulled out of you and finally placed you back on your feet. He noticed you were still shaking so he held you firmly against him, wrapping his strong arms around your frame.

“You okay, babygirl?” He asked, kissing your forehead and just holding you. 

You placed your cheek against his chest and felt his heart racing, just like yours was. “Yeah.” You murmured. 

“We need to get cleaned up and get out of here.” Then he sighed and said, “You ruined my plans.” 

You frowned then pulled away to look at him. “What?” 

He gave you a one of his smirks and said, “Well the plan was to ask you out on a date first, and then fuck you. But you…” He trailed off, chuckling. “Anyway, can I take you out for dinner now?” 

You couldn’t help but smile at him, and nod.  

Well, then. 

[whirlybirbs]

— NOISE COMPLAINT ; eijiro kirishima ; 切島

summary: red riot feels really bad about absolutely wrecking the shit out of your treasured plants, or eijiro kirishima falls in love at first sight. pairing: f!reader / pro hero!red riot word count: 3.7k tags: mutual pining, fluff/comfort, humor, very gentlemanly make-out, reader is a fan of red riot, mention of ingenium thirst (truth) a/n: kiri might be a twenty-seven year old pro hero in this fic but he is an absolute lovesick virgin who gets all his romantic cues from k-dramas. you cannot force me to think otherwise.

This is exactly the sort of night you needed.

The television, low and quiet, drones on as a deep-dive video on terrariums plays. Your apartment is clean — dishes done, laundry folded and trash taken out. There's a new candle burning on the coffee table, and a Dynamight-themed, cucumber-melon eye mask plastered to your delightedly thoughtless expression.

It's supposed to be good for dark circles. It kinda burns. You wonder if maybe that's, like, part of the gimmick. Y'know. Burns. Dynamight. 

Whatever.

No thoughts. Only the pleasure of turning everything off — brain included — for a perfect Friday night, complete with a mediocre glass of wine and no pants. 

The oversized Red Riot t-shirt clinging to your frame is your favorite. You've had it since college — it's a simple red tee with REAL MEN RIOT blazoned across the front, complete with your favorite hero popping a cheeky, shark-like grin and a double bicep. It's faded, stretched out, and broken in but it's also clean, and it smells like fabric softener and comfort.

This is the life. 

Even Twitter is decidedly pretty calm tonight. 

You're scrolling through your timeline, snickering at your friends' recent thirst tweets over Ingenium's recent GQ Japan shoot when it starts.

Apparently, your upstairs neighbors are home.

You thought those guys were out of town for the week. 

You've had beautiful, silent bliss for too long. The buck stops tonight, you suppose.

There's a shout overhead, then a scramble. Another voice joins the fray, and you swear you hear someone call someone else an idiot. You frown deeply as your eyes trail upwards. You wait, expecting more noise, but unsettling silence follows.

Your eye twitches.

Annoyance tips into a simmering rage.

The apartment complex is old. It's in decent shape, and the rent isn't half bad, but the walls are thin. Your upstairs neighbors have been like this as long as you can remember: shouting, stomping, fighting... Some nights it's like being subjected to musical chairs, modern contemporary tap dance, and experimental sound drum solos all at once. 

Your first week was the worst. You dragged yourself up the back to knock on their door and politely negotiate some silence — but the man who opened the door was less than pleased to have his little dude-bro circle-jerk interrupted. He told you to fuck off, get bent, and leave him the fuck alone. 

Then, before he slammed the door in your face, he procured the sort of audacity only assholes possessed and laughed at your Red Riot shirt — which is just plain unforgivable, frankly. 

"That guy's a fuckin' pussy." 

Sure, sure, sure, right, right, right.

The interaction told you everything you needed to know about the two (or four?) men who lived upstairs. They were losers. And they were fuckin' annoying. 

And, as it turns out, manufacturing bad batches of Trigger. 

You don't know that yet, but truth be told it isn't exactly shocking.

Maybe it's your fault for picking an apartment complex in this part of Tokyo. This part of Arawaka Ward is rarely found on those top-ten-neighborhoods-for-young-professionals lists, but it's affordable! And for day laborers like you, it worked. And hey, in recent months, the crime rate has gone down at least 5% — which only quelled the anxieties of your mom and dad by about the same percentage. 

The candle on the coffee table flickers, and you're about to turn back to your slow Twitter feed when there's another bang upstairs — this one admittedly loud enough to send a wave through your wine beside you. You slip your eyes slowly to the glass, perched on a coaster, as another bang rattles your apartment. You reach to still the vibrating glass on the side table. 

That's when the shouting really starts.

And it's when you notice the growing brightness of red and blue lights outside the window.

The apartment complex is pretty big. There are about sixty residents and six floors. You lucked out and managed to snagone of the last available Western-facing studios with a balcony — which made for a perfect plant haven. 

It was a recent hobby, but one that quickly became your calm after the chaos of the day-to-day. Working for the city's Heroics Response Department left you picking up the physical pieces (literally) of a lot of lives. Your quirk might be the usual, run-of-the-mill strength-based ability, but it comes in handy in the aftermath of property damage due to — what the Nation's Safety Commission has labeled — "villain-aggressed encounters". 

All in all, it's a good gig. It's physically demanding but rewarding. The pay is good, you've got union benefits, and you even have a per-diem schedule. It keeps you busy, and though it's not your father's construction business, it's a career path your parents are proud of. 

The slice-of-heaven balcony is bustling with plants. Some are happier than others, sure, but it's pretty. You've admittedlyformed an emotional bond with those vines, leaves, and flowers. 

It's perfect.

It's also perfect for snooping whenever things like this go down in your complex, or the sister complex across the parking lot. 

The shouting match upstairs is escalating, and you take the moment to tip-toe towards your balcony door to peek outside. It looks like two or three police cruisers have pulled up outside. Maybe someone called for a noise complaint? Maybe the property manager was tired of dealing with those losers?

Cackling to yourself, and hoping for a vindicating show of revenge (NO ONE CALLS RED RIOT A PUSSY), you yank open your balcony door and slip outside just as the sound of a pot crashing meets your ears.

Then:

"Shit, shit, shit—"

There's someone on the balcony. That someone's boot is currently stuck in an empty terracotta pot you were saving for spring. Your eyes are wide as you watch the shadow leap to his other foot, lose his balance, and unceremoniously knock over your entire, six-foot-tall, and well-treasured plant stand. You slap a hand over your mouth mid-shriek, hands flying to try and save whatever you can. 

You fail.

Eijiro Kirishima freezes.

What the fu—

It takes a second.

Like, a full second. Maybe even two. Your brain can't make sense of the sight before you. Neither can his, really. 

There's a girl on this balcony. A pretty girl. Like, mega pretty. Like soft and warm and cute and you smell kinda like vanilla — and there's... You're wearing his merch. His merch and... nothing else. Nothing else but a Dynamight eye mask and a pair of fluffy socks. 

...Is this what it's like to fall in love at first sight?

Shit.

Red Riot is on your balcony.

The Red Riot.

Red Riot, the hero in question, catches himself staring. His wide eyes openly wander over your figure (woah, okay, hello thighs), and the second he realizes it, he quickly snaps his eyes up to your face with a mortified expression. "Uh... hi!"

"...Hi...?"

Your expression is tied between shame, fear, and sheepishness as you blink once at him, then twice at the mess of your hobby's destruction. There's dirt everywhere, a plant stand blocking the doorway, and carnage. Your precious babies have been murdered. 

By Red Riot.

And... Red Riot is on your balcony. 

You repeat: Red Riot is on your balcony. 

Abort mission, abort mission.

Your lips part, your mouth hangs open, and every single thought in your head seems to stutter. Kirishima winces as you look down dejectedly at your plants (or, what remains) before he speaks.

"I, uh— is it cool if I..." he points upwards, "Use your balcony?" 

You're speechless.

You draw your mouth shut and nod hurriedly.

"Thanks," he grins, giving you a thumbs up — and a smile. A toothy, cute, nervous smile, "Lemme just... I gotta handle something. B-But, I'll be back. I'll help fix this mess — just... five minutes, okay?"

It hits you suddenly that his voice sounds different from all those interviews you've watched. It's a little warmer, a little raspier, a little less heroic. It's cute. 

Your brain is still having a hard time connecting the words coming out of his mouth to the scene before you — like, yes frontal lobe, this is real. This is happening.

Red Riot is real and Red Riot is on your balcony. 

He's shockingly gentle when he finally frees his boot from your terracotta pot, setting it down with purposeful delicacy — he even whispers 'please stay' as he props it upright — and then steps back to eye the balcony above yours like an athlete remembering a gameplan. 

He's trying to figure out the best way up. 

How he even got up here is news to you. 

(It was Uravity, as it turns out. They've been patrolling together more in this Ward.)

Red Riot is huge. Like, huge. 

Broad shoulders, rippling biceps, and long, fluffy crimson hair. It's daunting to realize how tall he is in person. The guy is a beast — everyone knows it — but his chivalrous nature is that thing that usually draws in his fans. It's no secret that Red Riot is sweet. He openly champions the need to be a good role model for men everywhere. Y'know, you can be strong and nice!

A sharp canine glints in your apartment's light as he pokes his tongue out and thinks for a second. 

Then, he settles on his plan. 

"You might wanna head inside," Red Riot says as he rolls his shoulders and bounces on the balls of his feet; he's readying up for a fight — and you blink as the beautiful realization dawns on you, "This could get kinda loud."

Loud?

Oh my god.

Is he here for your upstairs neighbors?

Oh my god, he is. 

Your jaw falls open as you bark out a laugh — it's an incredulous rasp that sends you into a spiral of joy; you're not a vengeful person by any means but...

"They're gonna shit themselves," you grin, your eyes alight with pure delight and a spark of something that reminds Kirishima a lot little bit of Bakugo, "They called you a pussy—"

Kirishima's brows shoot upwards as he pauses. He was about to jump and dig his hands into the underside of the balcony, but his quirk is stalling at your words. There's a roaring fire blazing in your eyes, one that screams retribution. 

It's... comical.

You cackle again at him with a wide grin, hissing conspiratorily. "They made fun of my shirt!"

You point down at the REAL MEN RIOT tee with both hands, your face set in a look of vindicated glee. Then, the second realization of the night hits — that you've got no pants on, and that stupid, goofy Dynamight eye mask is still on your face. You make a soft sound of embarrassment and tug your shirt down lower, trying to cover up. He cannot see your underwear. No. No way, no fucking way. Without a single word, you reach up, snatch the Dynamight eye mask off your face, and whip it off the balcony without a second thought. 

Slowly, Kirishima's face splits into a pointy grin. 

Holy shit, he's so fucking hot. 

"Oh, man," Red Riot rumbles, his face cracking into a sharp, playful smirk, "That's real rude. I might have t' teach these guys some manners."

Your smile returns, washing away the wobbly look of embarrassment sticking to your cheeks. 

Man, it sure is cute.

You are really cute, Kirishima realizes.

"Right! And who calls Red Riot a pussy?" you counter excitedly, before reigning it in and awkwardly lowering your arms as you try to tug your shirt down to hide the tops of your thighs again. Your glee has stifled a little bit, but it only reaffirms Kirishima's duty to wrap this all up. 

"Yea, that's, like, super misogynistic," he muses as his quirk kicks in and his hands flick into a hardened state. It's insaneto witness the way his large hands transform into weapons with a single breath. You can see the jagged extension of his quirk working up his large arms, too, "Lemme just have a lil' word with these boys, alright? Head on inside, I'll be back in a sec'."

Then, with graceful ease, he hops upwards with a little hup before latching to the base of the upstairs neighbor's balcony. 

It's insane how effortless it is for him to haul himself up the balcony, his hands dug into the cement. His upper body strength is insane. He's scaling the terrace, alternating his grip. He disappears into the dark, swinging his body upwards and reaching his destination.

You tamp down your awe in favor of heeding his directions: head inside.

You're closing the balcony door when you hear Red Riot's voice greet the unexpecting gaggle.

"Hey, fellas! I heard you guys are some super fans. Got anything you want me to sign?"

You snicker to yourself as you hear the beginning of a fight. 

Again, as it turns out, the guys upstairs sucked. Like, mega sucked. They'd been responsible for several recent Trigger overdoses; Uravity and Red Riot were working with law enforcement to track the small-time manufacturers — which explains why they'd been so quiet lately. They suspected someone was on their tail. 

As Red Riot scaled their balcony, law enforcement waited to break down their door. They arrested the four men (Seriously? Four? In that studio?) without much incident — however, you did spy a broken nose on one of them as they were hauled into the back of the awaiting cruisers. 

Sweet, sweet revenge. 

By the time your neighbors are carted off, you've shimmed into some sweats and made a half-assed attempt to look sort ofpresentable, all while firing off a few contextually incomprehensible texts into your group chat.

red riot has seen me in my underwear wtf do i do know kiss him?

You're really weighing your options when there's a knock on your balcony entry. It's gentle and cordial. You turn, head snapping, and spy that trademarked (and a dozen times retweeted) smile through the glass. He waves. 

Your heart leaps into your throat. You try to remember to breathe as you shuffle over and tug the balcony door open. The night air is cool.

Be like the night air.

Stay cool.

Eijiro feels so silly. And guilty. And honestly? Really into you. 

You're still wearing that shirt — the one with his face on it. You have opted to put on pants, but Kirishima still reminds himself to keep his eyes on your face. No ogling. That's not very gentlemanly. 

There's a beat of awkward silence as the two of you wait for the other to speak, and Kirishima is the one to break it with a raspy laugh.

"I wanted to apologize about your plants," a large hand moves to rub the back of his neck, "I cleaned up as best I could. I'm really, really sorry."

You wave him off, leaning into the doorframe. "No, it's okay! It's nothing I can't... fix. I think?"

You look beyond him to the catastrophic mess of plant matter. He must have tried tidying up while you rattled off the rapid-fire texts in the group chat. 

Red Riot's face warbles into something tied between mortification and guilt. "Please forgive me."

"Seriously!" you cry, waving your hands as you try to placate his dejected expression, "Please don't feel bad. It's a fair trade, y'know. Those guys upstairs were, like, the worst."

"I can only imagine," Eijiro concedes, frowning a little, "They didn't give you too much trouble, did they?"

You shake your head and laugh a little, "Aside from insulting my favorite hero to my face? Not really."

Kirishima can feel his face get a little hot. He shifts from boot to boot. His smile is a little woozy. "So... you're a fan?"

You don't need to tell him the underwear you have on matches the shirt — red, with an embroidered RR on the front. You keep that to yourself. You just nod happily.

"Really?" his grin cracks into something so excitable it makes your entire stomach flip, "I don't meet a lotta fans who are..."

His words drift off.

He's staring at your eyes. You're so... soft. Warm. Your eyes are swirling with quiet, astonished adoration and it's making Kirishima feel like he's floating. 

"Who are...?" your brow quirks as you lean deeper into the doorframe, trying to coax out the rest of the sentence.

"Gorgeous," he breathes, his posture relaxing a little as he soaks in your expression.

It's like getting sucker punched to the sternum.

All the wind rushed out of your lungs.

The soft moment only lasts a beat, because suddenly Red Riot's face screws up and he waves his hands hurriedly. "Wait, no. Hold on, I mean — all of my fans are gorgeous, because, uh, they're my fans and I love them, right? It's not like they're not gorgeous, I just — I'm... I... My fans are, like, usually dudes? A-And that's totally cool because dudes can be gorgeous, too, y'know? But—"

You're laughing.

Kirishima is realizing he was not paying enough attention in his agency's PR training last month and you're laughing.

"I get it," you giggle, crossing your arms and grinning up at him, "I mean, I definitely don't think I'm gorgeous but—"

"You are," he assures firmly, his expression serious.

Are you dead?

Are you, like, literally ascending to a higher plane right now?

There's no fucking way this is happening. 

Your lips part in quiet shock as you bite back a smile that threatens to cramp up your cheeks. Kirishima eats it up, his posture perking up at the way you seem to melt at his compliment. His smile is boyish — almost dizzy. 

You duck a bashful look towards the tiled floor of the balcony, not really giving a singular shit that your beloved monstera has been stomped on.

Kirishima clears his throat, then — in a move he totally hasn't swooned over in those K-dramas he's secretly obsessed with, that'd be ridiculous — he props his arm up against your door and leans over you. Your faces are close in the warm light of the balcony. 

Your eyes stutter up his abdomen, chest, jaw, lips, and eyes. Kirishima notices. It's really, really cute.

"Are you, uh... Are you seeing anyone?" 

Of course, Red Riot would ask that. Red Riot, the king of chivalry. How is something like that so endearing? For the tenth time tonight, he makes your stomach flip.

You shake your head no, a little too stunned to speak.

"Cool," Eijiro musters over a shake of nerves, "Cool. Okay. Uh, then would it... would it be okay if I bought you some new plants?"

You nod, swallowed entirely by his shadow. He's so fucking huge. 

"And if I took you to dinner?" 

Another nod.

"...And — shit. You're, like, so cute," the smooth persona he's put on melts a little as his eyes roam your face; you feel so... shy, "I was gonna ask you something else but..."

"My number?" you offer, fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you maintain eye contact. 

Is it hot? You're sweating. Is he sweating? He's hot. 

Eijiro nods, absolutely mesmerized by the way you tug your lip between your teeth. "That. Yea."

He has to fight back the urge to bite his knuckle when you turn away and move towards your kitchen to snag your phone. Kirishima stays put, allowing himself one moment of ogling. When you turn around, he's clearing his throat and crossing a boot over his ankle. 

He's still leaning up against the doorway.

"Here," you slip him the phone.

Eiijiro takes it — then hesitates for a second.

"...You're not gonna leak my number, are you?"

You have to laugh. You rub your cheek and shake your head before crossing your arms and looking up at him. "If you think I'm going to do anything to fumble this, you're wrong." 

Fumble this? Fumble him? He's the one that is at risk of fumbling, are you serious?

Eijiro barks out a surprised laugh as he enters his number, shoots a quick text his way then ignores the buzz in his back pocket. He hands your phone back and tries so fucking hard to ignore the way your fingers brush his. 

He got your number.

Holy shit, he got your number.

"Hey, Red Riot?"

He blinks down at you. "Y-Yea?"

You gesture for him to come closer, and he obeys easily — he bends a bit at the waist, his hair falling along his shoulders as he smiles down at you in the threshold of your apartment.

"Is everything alri—?"

You pop a chaste kiss against his cheek. 

Or, try. 

As you hop up onto your tippy toes to kiss his cheek, Eijiro is turning his head at the sound of Urvaity calling his name simultaneously. Trajectory failed, and now it's lips and lips instead of lips on cheek — and honestly? He owes Ochaco one for this. 

Red Riot melts — actually, truly, genuinely melts. His posture slumps down as you let out a shocked little sound of apology. But, Eijiro doesn't mind, and fuck, neither do you — because one hand braces against the doorframe above your head while his other hand is suddenly on your waist. He steadies himself, and damn. Damn. 

He breaks away when Uravity calls his name again. Kirishima is breathless and blushing, and your knees feel like jello. 

"I... Uh, I gotta go—"

"Yea, totally," you breathe, swallowing down the burn of unfiltered attraction, "Sorry, I was trying to kiss your cheek—"

Another call of his name. Red Riot curses softly before hollering a 'COMING!' over his shoulder, out past the edge of the balcony. 

When he turns back, he's fast to sweep you into another kiss — this one hotter than before. This one draws you into his chest, sending your hands colliding with the hot skin of his chest. There's muscle and scars and heat beneath your fingertips. His hand curls around your lower back, and you nearly moan. 

He peels himself away with an apologetic look as he backs towards the edge of the balcony. "I gotta go — I'll text you once patrol is over. Is that okay? I'm serious about the plants. And dinner." 

All you can do is nod.

Eijiro is kinda proud of himself for stunning you stupid with that kiss.

This is exactly the sort of night you needed.