#Also like why are my two options either BITE BITE BITE or... whatever is being insinuated here.

[who-is-page]

I don't know if it's wise to be platforming a p-shifter even if they haven't done anything (yet). Do we want to risk introducing them and their community to vulnerable or at-risk alterhumans? Do we want to encourage the spread of their belief systems when you yourself have seen how much harm they can do? It isn't wise to offer them any type of validation.

Reblogging an ad for a zine to my blog is not "platforming" anyone, and it's also wildly inappropriate to insinuate that just because this person is a shifter that it's inevitably going to harm someone. That's not a reasonable nor fair stance to have towards someone who literally hasn't done anything to anyone.

And like. Look. We can't keep talking about these folks like they're not alterhuman. It's an entirely opt-in label; we don't get to choose who is or isn't allowed to use it. There are no arbiters over alterhumanity, even if we all like to squabble over it as though we were.

Shifters are, for all intents and purposes, already established and here to stay. They've got their own websites, forums, and conventions-- I can't emphasize enough that their community subculture is already out there and built, and that no amount of yelling at them is going to change that. (Same with yelling at them to change the language they're using to describe their experiences because we feel like it's a misnomer or dishonest; regardless of what we feel about it, it's never gonna happen!) This isn't some new, emergent spiritual/religious group that we need to protect people from and it's not the old idea of a conglomerate of a half-dozen different abusers trying to scoop up minors on the Internet, either. This, from what I understand, is its own separate community: not otherkin, not therian, but its own thing that's defining itself by and large through the experience of shifts--and not even necessarily strictly physical ones, despite the name.

Treating all of them like they're predators is going to make it easier for any actual predatory people who appear to slip through the cracks. Ostracizing them collectively also weakens their community's ability to effectively spread resources to help prevent any of that from occurring in the first place. If our intent is to 'protect people,' then ignoring them wholesale and otherwise trying to shove them out of the alterhuman spaces more generally is going to do the exact opposite. If our intent is to 'protect our people,' then I need to circle back to my second paragraph. They are us. They're just as alterhuman as anyone else who claims the word. They're not our enemies or potential landmines, they're our peers in this shared digital landscape, and I don't want to keep treating them like the former rather than the latter.

And like, is it my place to deny new alterhumans the option to understand what that community entails and choose to join it if they feel it's accurate to their experiences? I'd strongly say no, probably not. That's not a choice I want to make for people.

It's our knee-jerk reaction to see the word "p-shifter" and bite. That's not a response that developed for no reason. I'm not claiming otherwise. But if they're making a sincere effort to create safe community spaces and are just trying to live their lives in their own preferred frameworks, understandings, and terms, then is it really worth it to keep biting and biting and biting them? Because looking more closely, it feels less justified and much more cyclic or habitual. And regardless of how other people feel, because fuck if I don't know this is an incredibly divisive topic, I just don't want to do it anymore.

[borderline-sanity]

GRWM as I ✨Wake Up with a Panic Attack✨

** None of this is medical advice, and is just a system I’ve worked on for myself. Everybody is different, everyone is in different circumstances.**

When it comes to the fight or flight instinct during panic attacks, I’m 100% a flight person.

I’ve dealt with panic attacks since high school and have been diagnosed with panic disorder. In high school I lived in constant fear of having an attack, which caused the attacks. It was all very cyclical. I have them less often now, but they still happen from time to time.

My go to method is to mix comforting and uncomfortable sensations and to overstimulate myself. I’ve tried deep breathing and relaxing music and the things that should logically help. But they always made me feel worse because I’m acknowledging the panic in such a head on fashion. I try to ground and overstimulate as many senses as I can, so I don’t have the energy or space to feel the panic anymore.

The initial terror, it’s going to happen. How fast you can pivot depends on the severity of the panic.

I tell myself I’m an expert in panic attack management. I have over 12 years of experience in the field and have worked tirelessly to perfect my methods. I have to convince myself I’m a pro at this, and have a 100% success rate of not imploding from anxiety. I narrate what I’m going to do and why it helps me specifically, basically what I’m doing here.

—-

My first stop is consistently my bathroom. I go through my bin of old lotions and pick a scent I have specially set aside for panic attacks. I use something that’s way too overpowering, but having something that smells bad to you is also an option. Sometimes I’ll use two different smells. The goal is to have a scent to ground you.

When I have a panic attack, my body fails at temperature regulation. Typically my feet are cold and clammy. So, I like to run some hot water in the tub and just stand in it for awhile. As I’m standing there, I apply whatever lotion or perfume I grabbed. Once my feet are warmed up, I get out of the tub and only sorta dry my feet. Then I put socks on my damp feet. Why? Because I hate the way it feels. And that harmless discomfort is going to distract me as I make my way to the next room.

I pick up a hoodie from the closet. Since I don’t know which way my temperature is going to flux, it’s nice to have on hand. I also have a big comfy shawl I use only during panic attacks.

I have to go down stairs to get to my kitchen. I take them really slow, especially with the damp sock situation. If I’m feeling too weak, I’ll just sit down and scoot down them. My instinct is flight, so staying in one room too long is no good. I usually feel safer being on the ground floor.

—-

Things might get messy in the kitchen, but that’s for future you to deal with. I used to keep a fresh lemon in the house at all times, but have moved away from that, opting for lemon juice. You can either bite into a lemon, or swish some lemon juice in your mouth and spit it out. A benefit of a fresh lemon is that it’s more messy. You’ll have lemon juice on your face and hands and that stickiness, at least for me, is an awful sensation.

You’re going to chase the lemon down with something else. I like to grab sour candy, like Warheads. But something like Pop Rocks also works. Picking an opposite flavor, like pudding or beef jerky is an option. You’re just trying to overload your tastebuds by making another harmless, but powerful distraction.

Alternatively, this step can be done when you’re in the bathroom. Swishing mouth wash and following it up with something sour is miserable. The face I make in the mirror is ridiculous and sometimes that’s enough to help soothe me.

—-

Like I said, I’m a flight person. So the next steps I either do pacing the house or on a treadmill. It just depends how steady my legs are feeling.

I grab my headphones, connected to my phone, and my tablet. I put the headphones on one ear and play music. The music is going to change every time. Sometimes you want something soothing, sometimes you want something loud. Sometimes you want music you love, sometimes you want music you hate. Having different playlists prepped helps you figure out what you’re in the mood for. I think one hit wonders are also a great option. There’s a familiarity and nostalgia that just hits the spot sometimes.

There are a few options for the tablet. You can put on a movie or tv show, and listen with your un-headphoned ear. I also like doing crossword puzzles or logic puzzles. It usually goes poorly, but I get so wrapped up in it. I’ve also found ‘Simon Says’ videos and follow those. Anything challenging and low stakes works here.

And this is where things usually begin to ease up. If my legs are too wobbly, I’ll just lie on the floor. Sometimes I go back to the lemon juice / sour candy. But eventually, my body is just exhausted and overstimulated. And there’s no more room for panic.

Once I feel myself winding down, I’ll get an electrolyte heavy drink. My go to is Pedialyte Zero Sugar packets but it doesn’t really matter what you use. I’ll have something light to eat if I feel up to it, usually just crackers.

When the panic has finally eases up and I feel safe again, I’m usually left exhausted. I fall asleep wherever I land, usually on the floor because it just feels nice and sturdy. When I wake up, I take care of any messes I left behind. And I drink more water.

—-

Important Notes and Additional Tactics:

Drink lots of water. Just have water dead drops everywhere.

Make it a point to keep yourself stocked up on supplies. Future you needs to restock supplies and put things back for next time.

Fidget toys are great and should also be in every room if possible. I like to use different ones depending on which room I’m in, just to keep up variety.

Ice cubes under the armpits or on the back of the neck are great. I guess anywhere works, I just find the cold distracting. As they melt, I’m left with water on my clothes. Similar to the damp socks, I hate this feeling.

My plant misting bottle stays in the kitchen and I’ll use it to spray my face or arms. Having glasses makes this more annoying, which is the goal.

I personally like to turn on as many lights as I can, but I understand this isn’t always possible.

Stepping outside can be helpful, just be mindful about it.

Reach out to people if that’s an option and you’re comfortable with it.

Walk through your routine when you aren’t in the middle of a panic attack. Developing this type of muscle memory helps you to be familiar and prepared. Remember, you’re the expert in panic attacks.

Take time to reflect on things. The day after a panic attack, I find a quiet place. I think back to everything I was feeling and who I was during the panic attack. And I talk to that past version of me and comfort her. Sometimes I find it easier to write it all out.

—-

I typed this while experiencing a panic attack. Usually I just narrate these things to myself. Recently, my older brother has started having attacks similar to mine. My hope is that sharing what I do to get myself through a panic attack will help at least one person. It is truly one of the most defeating and vulnerable experiences. I feel like I’ve lost so much time to my anxiety, I’d like to think I can help someone avoid the same struggles my younger self dealt with.

**None of this is medical advice, and is just a system I’ve worked on for myself. Everybody is different, everyone is in different circumstances.

[gatorbites-imagines]

request for sinners, Smoke x m!reader

reader is at the juke joint and is constantly being flirted with or hit on by women and Smoke becomes super jealous

can either be smut or just hurt/comfort

Elijah “Smoke” Moore x male reader 

Headcanons 

Was in a mood, so this probably got a bit more fluffy/cute than I had planned. Cuz what's better than a jealous guy who yearns. I wanna rewatch Sinners so badly, but they only showed it for two weekends in my city, can't wait for it to come out other places, hopefully. 

Imagine going to the Juke joint, not because you really like to party all that much, but because youve missed the Smokestack twins a lot.  

You three used to run together when you were kids, then teens, and then you all split when the war came. You went back to Mississippi, and the twins went off to do their own thing. 

It might also have a lot to do with the fact that it was Smoke that asked you to come. Had it been Stack, you might have had the ability to say no, but Smoke has this way of looking at you when he wants something that makes you crack. 

Smoke is a man of a few words, but his eyes tell so much when you know where to look. The way hed chewed the inside of his lip, hands twitching at his side, clearly wanting to busy himself with something. 

He was adorable, to you anyways. If you told anybody else that you found Elijah “Smoke” Moore adorable, you would probably be claimed a lunatic. 

But you knew him. Not as much as Stack did, you don't think anyone knows Smoke that well, but you gotta be second on that list. Or else Smoke wouldn't have snuck all those kisses and comforts during your lives. 

You being an attractive man, a single man, in the eyes of the world, means you are like meat thrown to lions. Lionesses?  

You have to be one of the better options around. A good man, respectful, never yells, doesn't drink too much, smoke too much, hell, you even appreciate a womans feedback as much as a mans. You are perfect. 

Smoke knows this too, which is why he's got eyes on you the entire night. His attention is as much on the business as they are on you, because he can smell sharks in the water everywhere you go. 

The two of you being men means that Smoke cant even go down there and tell them to fuck off, or threaten them with his gun for trying to sink their claws into whats his. 

At least he knows you aren't returning the advances, as you glance up at him every now and then and smile that cute little shy smile of yours, the one that always has his heart racing. 

Its when people start getting more inebriated, and women's advances become a lot bolder and obvious, that Smoke almost bites right through the cigarette he's had hanging between his teeth for the past while, unlit because hed been too busy watching you. 

If anybody else noticed how hard Smoke was staring at you, they would have to assume you screwed him over somehow, and that he's gonna get his money back. Only you, Smoke, and probably Stack, knows the real reason. 

When Smoke sees you getting uncomfortable with the bolder advances, he almost breaks the wood railing under his hands. He gives a throw of his head, a “come here” movement, that you use as an out. 

People assume you and Smoke are going to one of the back rooms so he can shake you down for money, or threaten you to pay him back, so you get some pitying looks along the way.  

Except for Stack, who wiggles his brows at you over everyone's heads. 

The moment you two are alone, Smoke is on you. At first you thought he was gonna jump your bones right then and there with how fiery his eyes were, but instead he just clings to you. 

Smoke buries his face into your neck, clinging to the back of your jacket, tense like a bowstring as he huffs and puffs, clearly trying to suppress whatever burning anger he's got going on. 

It's always a sight to see Smoke getting so angry that he's trembling, only time he gets like this is when Stack or you are hurt, or when you get flirted with, it seems. All that time apart must have made it harder to deal with his emotions. 

He doesn't need to speak to express what he's feeling, his loud shaky breathing and tight grip is explanation enough, so you hug him back just as tight and mutter loving words and promises. 

You two stay in there for a good while, with Smoke just not wanting to let go of you, because if he does, he knows hes gonna lose it. Its a miracle he hasn't caused problems yet. 

Having you kiss him and hold him does start making him less tense. Smoke is always tense, it comes with the lifestyle, but with you it's less bad.  

When he gets this jealous, Smoke kisses you like he's trying to suck the very soul out of your body. All your half-baked complaints never work, even when you mumble between the smack of lips that it'll expose your relation. 

Hes only satisfied when you have kissed him back just as hard, and you two have reaffirmed your love and relationship. That yes, you are his, but he is also yours. No, Smoke, their advances dont mean anything, and no Smoke, you cant hurt anybody. 

I feel like part of Smoke would become more at ease when you express wanting to kill people too when they look at him too long. Like, two very possessive wolves guarding their mates. 

Sadly, you two cant express these feelings in public, or stake claims on each other in visible ways. 

I do imagine you end up wearing something of his after your “closet meeting”, like a ring, or dog tags, unless you guys were already wearing each other's dog tags. 

Everyone assumes your lips are so red cuz Smoke punched you, or smth, well, except for Stack, who grins and offers to buy you a drink, clearly assuming a lot more happened than actually did.  

Smoke hovers close by for the rest of the evening too. Its assumed he's doing it as a threat for whatever he punched you for, but its cuz he's jealous and wants to be close to you. 

[kxsagi]

Hello! Super impressed with how much you’re able to write so often and I hope you continue having fun doing it/ don’t get burnt out! Would it be possible to request a scenario about a reader who’s dating isagi (and has for awhile since before blue lock) but is from an affluent family who wants them to get engaged for family political reasons. They later decide to temporarily get engaged to reo to help cover up both of their relationships (reader and isagi and reo and nagi) and kind of become besties through it. For a one shot/ scenario maybe have them judging other people at a fancy dinner (or if head canons on the general idea would also be great - whatever is easier) thank you!!

“𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬”

a/n: hi and thank you so much!!!

rich reader x longtime boyfriend isagi x fake fiancée reo that has a secret relationship with nagi? this request was very specific lol, so i’m sorry if i got anything wrong! (i did make all 4 four of them besties from the start to make the writing a little easier, they become even better best friends throughout the engagement drama)

for later context, isagi is invited to the dinner party because he is now a pro soccer player after his achievements in blue lock. i also threw in some gay nagireo in there cuz why not they’re gay anyways 

you’ve been with isagi since before blue lock, since his hair was messier, his dreams quieter, and your family's expectations a little easier to ignore. back when being together meant holding hands behind the school and sneaking into your driver’s car after games. he’s always made you feel like a person, not a pawn. which is exactly why you can’t let your family know about him. 

not when they’re talking about engagements like they’re business mergers. 

your father puts down his wine glass at a family dinner and says, “we’ve had interest from the mikage family, you know. a strategic partnership could benefit both parties.” 

you blink. “you mean like… i get stock options? or i get married?” 

your mother’s smile is tight. “don’t be crass, sweetheart. you’d get both.” 

and just like that, you're being politically packaged like a luxury handbag. 

you don’t even panic. not really. you just call reo the next day and say, “wanna fake an engagement to avoid being sold off like cattle?” 

he hums. “sure. nagi thinks it’s funny.” 

you smile. “isagi said it’s either this or he beats up your dad. so i guess we’re going with this.” 

thus begins the most fabulous scam of your life. 

it’s about a month into the fake engagement when the dinner party happens, one of those rich people breeding grounds where everyone wears cream-colored suits and says things like “let’s circle back” when they mean “go away.” 

you’re seated next to reo, who looks like he just walked off a magazine cover, because of course he does. your parents are three seats away. nagi is conveniently not invited. and isagi is somewhere across the room, seated like a polite accessory at the farthest table, trying not to combust. 

“my real boyfriend is glaring at you,” you whisper to reo. 

reo raises a glass. “i know. isagi looks like he’s thinking about setting fire to this floral centerpiece.” 

you both clink glasses in solidarity. 

across from you, some heiress with a platinum trust fund is explaining how she’s “completely self-made” because she once opened a vegan bakery in london. 

“girl,” you mutter. “you own six apartment buildings.” 

reo leans in. “her dad had to pay two million in damages after she accidentally poisoned someone with mushroom powder she found on pinterest.” 

you bite your lip, trying not to laugh. “damn. you really do your research.” 

“i'm thorough,” he says smugly, and starts texting nagi under the table like a giddy middle schooler. you sneak a glance at isagi, who’s pretending to stir his soup while definitely texting you with his hand under the tablecloth. 

isagi [8:41pm]: i miss u 

you [8:42pm]: you’re 20 feet away 

isagi [8:42pm]: i’m dying. reo’s dad just said i look like someone who “played sports at the public school” 

you [8:43pm]: okay he’s getting coal for christmas 

reo tilts his phone so you can see nagi’s response. 

nagi [8:43pm]: make them eat the centerpiece. they won’t notice 

you almost choke on your water. 

the woman next to you tries to engage you in a conversation about equestrian bloodlines, and you politely nod while messaging isagi under the table like you’re in some sort of underground operation. reo’s playing his part like a total pro – he throws you looks like “i’m so in love” and sighs dramatically any time you talk, which only makes you both look obnoxiously engaged and secretly evil. it’s perfect. 

“what do you think of this one?” reo whispers when the next guest starts bragging about launching a NFT for gourmet olives. 

“looks like a young benedict cumberbatch if he lost a fight with a hedge fund,” you say. “he just said the word ‘synergy’ unironically.”

“disqualified,” reo mutters. 

you clink glasses again. you’re starting to like this way too much. 

but later, you escape to the garden to breathe, because all this secret-love-fake-fiancée-corporate-dinner-lunacy is exhausting. reo follows you out with two glasses of champagne and a subtle wink. 

“nagi’s bored,” he says. “he tried to facetime me under the table.” 

“isagi sent me a meme and called it ‘the real appetizer.’” you sigh. “do you ever feel like we’re the only sane people in this capitalist hellscape?” 

reo raises a brow. “you’re fake engaged to me. you think i’m sane?” 

you clink your glass against his anyway. “you’re the only one who gets it.” 

for a second, the two of you just stand there in silence, watching the glowing windows from the outside like kids pressed to a candy store. 

“thank you,” you say, suddenly, seriously. “for helping me.” 

reo waves it off. “please. i get a fake fiancée and tax write-offs. nagi’s obsessed with the drama.” 

you smile. “he should’ve been an actor.” 

“he is acting. like he doesn’t love me.” 

you glance at him. “do you ever wish you could just… tell everyone?” 

“all the time,” he says. “but for now, we have each other. and excellent wardrobe coordination.” 

you bump his shoulder with yours. “ride or die.” 

he grins. “now tell your boyfriend to stop sulking and come steal you away.” 

“only if nagi lets you come over for game night.” 

“deal.” 

back inside, you walk past your mother, who whispers, “try not to look too smug. people are already talking about how perfect you and reo look together.” 

you give her a dazzling smile. “just wait till the wedding photos,” you say sweetly. “they’ll be iconic.” 

isagi meets you by the door with that look on his face, the one that says i’d break ten social contracts to hold your hand right now. you brush fingers briefly as you pass. 

and later, when you sneak into isagi’s apartment with leftover cake in your bag and tell him all about the NFT olives and poisoned mushroom heiress, he kisses you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters. which, really, you are. 

reo texts you at 1 AM. 

reo [1:01am]: nagi just said he wants to “elope but in a cool way.” do you think that means vegas or sword fight? 

you [1:02am]: depends. is there pacman involved? 

reo [1:02am]: always 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[dreaming-marchling]

5 & 18!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

Magnus sighed, “You’re right, Alec. My sincere apologies. Refresh my memory so I don’t violate any other agreements, what did we decide on boudoir photos?”

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

I wasn't sure if I actually had anything for this but I started hunting at the bottom of documents and here's a scene that was lurking at the bottom of Across the Lonely Decades. I have no recollection why it was cut (too pessimistic maybe?) and it abruptly cuts off mid-sentence lol but here you go:

---

“Five more nights,” Magnus whispered into Alec’s hair as they laid curled up in bed together.

It felt like too much and not enough at the same time. “I’m trying not to get my heart too set on that.”

“Tomorrow we’ll all sit down and talk out what the gameplan is but for tonight, I promise you I’m as confident as I can be.” Magnus tried to reassure him.

Alec’s first thought was an asshole-ish one that he wouldn’t actually ask: were you confident the first time you tried to travel back in time? The time where it hadn’t worked. He just felt sort of off and nervous and he wanted to know. He was tired of the guess work of it this stupid spell was going to work or not.

Magnus was doing something unprecedented, he reminded himself yet again. He couldn’t know. There was no knowing. There was only hoping.

“I won’t miss this mattress.” Alec said instead.

That got him a quiet chuckle, “Nor will I. If you had asked me a month ago if I had truly gotten used to electricity, I would have said no. Now I’m finding that I miss it. It’s just so thoughtlessly easy. Not great for ambiance but having the option for either is suddenly more welcome than ever before.”

“I miss the noise.” Alec agreed.

“Spoken like a true New Yorker.” Magnus scoffed playfully.

Alec laughed because he was supposed to but the disquiet was still under his skin. It picked at him, it made his fingers flex restlessly and for the first time since his Magnus had come to him, Alec wanted to take up his bow and practice until his fingers bled. He wanted the little bite of pain that made him feel like he was alive and real and in control.

He wouldn’t. He knew it didn’t help. They would either be home in less than a week or they wouldn’t. Him bleeding wasn’t going to change that.

“Talk to me, darling.” Magnus murmured into the darkness.

Two different Magnus Banes, both saw through whatever poker face he tried to put up.

“Just nervous.” Alec shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

Tell me we’re going to be okay. Tell me we’re going to make it home. Tell me Ragnor will be waiting for us when we get there. Tell me I’ll never get thrown back in time again.

Maybe Magnus heard some of that. If he had then Alec felt badly about it. He wasn’t the one losing a friend he’d loved for centuries. He also wasn’t the one who had all the work coming up. Alec only had to bleed a little and they all knew he was good for that. It was Magnus who was going to have to administer potions, delve into their minds and hide away memories. It was Magnus who was going to have to draw the pentagram and all those precise symbols. It was Magnus who was going to have to get them home.

And it was Magnus who was going to have to walk away from his friend knowing he wasn’t ever going to see him again.

Alec had it easy. If this had been three months ago, he would have been able to handle it without flinching, without letting on that he was affected at all.

He was so done.

“We’re going to be all right. We’re going home.” Magnus promised him.

They both knew that neither of those things might end up being true.

Magnus shifted around until he hovered over Alec. “We’re going home, Alec. I know the failed attempt the first time was hard, hard for both of us, but I know what I’m doing now. We know what we’re doing now. We’re going home.”

Alec sighed. He felt bad for being such a mess. “I believe in you, Magnus. I always do. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

A kiss was dropped onto his forehead, “I know, love.”

He wanted to talk to Magnus about all the worries in his head but he knew those worries were in Magnus’ head too. It was the same conversations over and over again. Ragnor and time and worrying that the spell didn’t actually have a viable reverse. What if they returned to the future to find it changed because they’d forgotten something? It was just a lot.

“The only way is forward, Alec. I learned that a long time ago.” Magnus told him.

It’s good advice and it applied better now than Magnus had probably ever known would happen but it didn’t dial down whatever Alec

---

Thank you!!

[rainbowsandwhumperflies]

The Winged Servant - drabble

Notes: okay you might've noticed there was no poll last week to vote for this week's chapter. That's because I love Dakota too much and didn't want to keep them to myself for any longer and no one was voting on the option for Ryan to meet his only ever friend. Ryan is 18 here, about two years before he ever heard Onyx's name. Speaking of which, Onyx is not here, and neither is any other whump content. This is whatever the opposite of fanservice is, where the author is clearly the only one who cares

content warnings: super corrupt Rao monarchy, that's pretty much it, this is not even whump

masterlist

“I have dinner for you, Your Highness,” someone said from the doorway, and Ryan glanced up to see a person who, sure enough, was holding a tray of food. But it wasn’t Jayden, and Ryan had told Jayden to bring him his food.

“Where’s Jayden?”

“He’s busy.”

His eyes narrowed. “He’s never too busy for a direct order from the royal family. What the fuck did you do?”

The servant cocked their head to the side. “Apologies, Your Highness. I asked if I could do it instead. I didn’t realize this meal delivery was so important to you.”

“... Why?”

“Because you don’t tell people things like that.”

“Why did you ask to do it, dipshit.”

They grinned. “Maybe I like seeing you, Your Highness.”

“Is that right? You like seeing me, and you like being a smartass, and you like pissing me off?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe,” Ryan repeated sarcastically. “Fine. Bring me my food, and take a few bites so I know you’re not poisoning me, and you can get out of my hair.” That wasn’t as safe as he was supposed to be. But there were still four more complaint forms to go through before he’d have time to care.

“I sure hope you weren’t poisoned,” the servant said, setting the tray down and picking up a cracker. “This would be a really stupid way for me to die.”

This would also be a really stupid way for them to spend their time living—it’d be faster to just let Jayden, a close, trusted servant do his job—but Ryan didn’t point that out.

Ryan also didn’t point out the way that the crumbs clung to their sparkling lip gloss. That was the reason he was staring at their lips, because it was distracting, but it’d be rude to point it out. So he kept staring at their lips.

~

They were at the next dinner party. Not serving food at the party, either, getting served food, which meant that they were not a servant. “Dakota Lake,” they were introduced as, though their younger sisters kept calling them Kota. And while Ryan hadn’t noticed them posing as a servant, he would have recognized their sisters. Only eight years old and already, the two had a reputation for being the castle menaces at every single event. And… he supposed that if he thought about it, their mom had been working there for a few months now, an important enough job that her family was considered nobility.

Dakota didn’t seem entirely focused on the dinner party, which was disrespectful enough in and of itself that Ryan started to get pissy. But clearly they weren’t the only distracted one, or Ryan would have been able to recognize them before they’d delivered his dinner four days earlier.

They ran right into the prince later, balancing three plates of what had been turkey before it became a mess on his suit. “I’m- shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“You’re not a servant,” Ryan blurted, making Dakota pause in their reach for paper towels.

“... No, Your Highness. What?”

“You’re not a servant, and you brought me food last week. I want to know why.”

They laughed breathlessly, brushing Ryan’s shoulder off with a napkin. “Christ. I told you, didn’t I? I wanted to see you.”

“No one wants to see me.” That wasn’t exactly how those words were supposed to come out, but they were true regardless. Prince Ryan wasn’t known for social visits.

“Really, Your Highness? No one?” They handed their dirty plates off to a servant passing by, apparently deciding that they’d done enough cleaning and the servants could do the rest. “Do you get out much? Lots of people think you’re nice to look at. How did you recognize me, anyway? You were so focused on that paperwork—barely looked at me.”

Ryan blinked slowly.

Lots of people think you’re nice to look at.

He wondered if lots of people included Dakota. He wondered why that mattered. He wondered if it was relevant at all that he’d recognized Dakota based on the sparkling lip gloss that they were wearing, the lip gloss that the bread crumbs had stuck to when they’d delivered the food.

“I remembered you because it’s weird fucking behavior to intercept a direct command from a prince just because you wanted to see him.”

“Do you want me to piss off? I will if you want.”

Not particularly, Ryan realized, which came as a surprise to himself. He had always hated the dinner parties. Cardan hated them, too. Really, the only people who liked them were noble families who needed to feel important and appreciated, and Ryan wasn’t in the mood for appreciating people.

But Dakota had made the poor decisions that they’d made, and they’d done it without apparent motive. That made them an unsolved mystery. And a mystery was much more appealing than the dinner party.

“I forgive you,” Ryan decided, and Dakota snorted as if he’d made a joke.

“Okay, Your Highness. Thank you.”

“Unfortunately, we’re both still covered in your fucking turkey. Come on, I’ll let you borrow some of my clothes if you need some.” They had other options, actually. Like asking literally any of the people employed here for clothes. But they hadn’t said “lots of people think you’re nice to look at” to the people employed here.

“Okay,” Dakota agreed with a soft smile. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

~

taglist: @kaleidoscope-of-thoughts @toyybox @fuckcapitalismasshole @rainydaywhump @jay--o

@risk606 @cepheusgalaxy @fourwingedwriter

ps: I'm tagging you all because this is very much the universe that The Winged Servant takes place in. However, all this stuff that happens to Ryan before he meets Onyx is pretty much irrelevant to the actual plot. And not whumpy. And there will almost definitely be more of this because Dakota is my favorite ever character. So if you don't want to be tagged for this stuff lmk ^^

[nadiajustbe]

Okay as we started talking about Ben and Lettie's random pair up, I want to talk about how how hilariously out of place their main "love" moment were in the final of the book.

Without any hatred to the final itself, it's one of the best happy endings I've ever read, it's just this particular scene looks like it was written in the last second.

Wizard Suliman was at least a strong-minded as Lettie was. Lettie looked quite nervous as Suliman loomed craggily over her. "It seemed to be the Prince's memory I had of you and not my own at all," he said.

"That's quite all right," Lettie said bravely. "It was a mistake."

"But it wasn't!" protested Wizard Suliman. "Would you let me take you on as a pupil at least?" Lettie went fiery red at this and did not seem to know what to say.

First of all, Ben, dear, WHY are you starting conversation with "the Prince" and the fact that it was his memory? I mean, it is important, yes, but it also wasn't really worth mentioning as you both see each other for the first time, and she had a brief conversation with the Prince? Lettie is smart, she can connect two dots together.

(seriously, If you want to talk about Prince Justin talk about Prince Justin, there's no need to do randomly conversation with his mention.)

Second of all, again, what happened to "hello"? Or "sorry"? Or some kind of introducing of yourself? She knew Percival, yeah, but this is first time you see eachother, as, well, each other.

Ben, I love you dearly, but you clearly cannot start a conversation. That's the price you're paying for being a nerdy introvert in your thirties.

(Yes, starting the talk with your countryman by apologising for biting him is not the best possible option, either.)

Third of all, I think we all can agree the "at least a pupil" line didn't exits. It was delivered so rapidly and quicky, no one present could actually process whatever is going on here.

Let's all just sing my bestie Ben Sullivan for speaking club lessons, I think he's gonna be glad.

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Muse || Vaas Montenegro

Warning(s): The Pocky Game, bored Vaas, OC (Liv), Vaas being Vaas, short one-shot.

An unexpected storm blew in from the southwest, hitting the Rook Islands like a freight train. Liv found herself caught in it, hiding in her cage at the outpost like a stray. The wind was so strong that it made the rain feel like needles were pricking her skin. She hugged her body close, but it made no difference. And to make matters worse, Vaas was bored. 

Liv never thought she would see the day. On top of being rather clever and unpredictable, Vaas was also creative, even though his ideas were atrocious. She truly believed that braving the storm, as opposed to braving him, was the smartest option; the lesser of two evils. 

This is why she was distraught when Carlos forced her from the cage and took her to the hut that Vaas was currently shut up in. At the front door, she turned to the pirate, pleading to him with her eyes.

“It's such a beautiful day. Can't I just sit in my cage and enjoy it?” 

Carlos gave her a look of disbelief like she had grown an extra head. 

“You have finally lost your fucking mind.” 

She would lose more than her mind if she was Vaas’ last option for entertainment.

“He's waiting,” Carlos mentioned, motioning toward the hut.

Liv tossed him an angry look, then plodded through the front door. As she turned the corner into the bedroom, she saw Vaas sitting at the desk in front of the laptop, watching Zack Snyder's ‘Dawn of the Dead’; it was either a pirated copy, or he found it in someone's suitcase. While he seemed content with the movie, he was bouncing his leg like a stressed-out parent beneath the desktop. He cut his eyes to her and opened his mouth, but whatever he was in the process of saying was lost as he noticed the state of her person, soaked from head to toe. 

“Were you raised by animals? Go change your fucking clothes. You are getting water on my floor,” Vaas chided. He motioned behind him to a pile of suitcases across the room. Some of them were new. “¿Ya nadie tiene modales (does no one have manners anymore)?”

Liv tightened her jaw. It was not like she wanted to entertain him. She was content with sitting out in the damn storm. Without protesting, she strode over to the suitcases and rummaged through them, choosing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that she could tie off. As she was standing, she noticed a familiar rectangular box amongst the bathroom products. 

“No way,” she uttered, picking it up. “Look what I found.” 

Vaas paused the movie and peeked over his shoulder, having to squint to read the words printed on the front. 

“The fuck is Pocky?”

“It's a snack from Japan, but you can buy them in convenience stores in America,” Liv answered. She looked at the expiration date and grinned in excitement. “Someone must have brought them on the flight over. I love these things. Chocolate is my favorite, but the strawberry sticks are great too.” 

Besides movies, Vaas had never seen her so enthralled in something. He had no idea she liked sweets. He snorted and watched her put them down on the bed, before hurrying into the next room with her arms full of clothes. When she reappeared, she snatched up the pink box and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Do you want one?” She asked as she tore open the lid.

Why the fuck not. Vaas shrugged his shoulders. Taking one from her, he took a tentative bite. It was not bad for a biscuit stick with an artificial coating. 

“This gets you wet, no?” 

Liv felt her face heat up. 

“I don't know what it is about them, but they are like crack.” 

Vaas snorted. 

“My friends and I used to play the Pocky Game with them. Invite a big group and see who would bitch out first,” she added. “It's an innocent game, though it led to a few weird hookups. And there's even a drinking game.” 

Vaas could not imagine what sort of game she was referring to. The name seemed ridiculous enough.

“Show me.”

Liv felt her heart race.

“I don't think you'd like it. I mean…it's a game for teenagers.”

“Fóllame (fuck me). You brought it up,” Vaas pointed out. He switched from the chair to the bed, snatching the box from her. “Show me. Come on.” 

Liv tightened her jaw. Why did she have to mention the game?

“So, you take a stick and put one end in your mouth, and I put the other end in mine. We have to maintain eye contact as we each eat to the middle. If the stick breaks, or one of us bitches out, then we lose. It's a tie if…if we kiss.”

Vaas grinned. “Lady and the Tramp, no?”

Liv nodded. It was exactly like that. She figured the concept of the game would sound childish to Vaas, that he would turn it down, but when he slid a stick from the box and placed the coated end against her lips, her heart raced. 

“Be a good girl, querida (darling). Ábreme (open up for me).” 

She nearly whined. As much as she did not want to anger him, she was nervous. Vaas was in no way a coward. She knew that he would take it to the end and kiss her. But was she ready for that? She was not sure. 

“There are other games we can–”

“Abre tu boca por mí (open your mouth for me).” Interjected Vaas. 

Hesitantly, she did so. Vaas slid the coated end into her mouth, then placed the other end into his mouth. His eyes kept hers as they began to eat the Pocky, but even he could see how nervous she was. Her pale skin was red as though she had sat hours in the sun and her blue eyes were glossy. When their lips came close to touching, he reached up and flicked the stick hard, breaking it. 

Liv sat back in shock. Why did he do that? She took the remaining stick from her mouth and tried to ask him, but Vaas gently squeezed her cheeks, puckering her lips; she reminded him of a Naso Tang.

“First kisses have to be special, no?” He winked, then released her. 

Tossing her a stick, Vaas stood with a grin.

“Like crack, you say.” 

He knew Liv would snap him out of his boredom. She was his muse after all. 

It was later that she learned what Vaas did with the remaining sticks, playing a twisted version of the Pocky Game with a few prisoners who were unfortunate enough to not have buyers. Their partners were not humans, however, but vicious crocodiles and cassowaries. 

Liv was fortunate, she realized, and never whined again about having to entertain Vaas. 

[st4rryyynight]

★M'kay, I am calm now, I suppose. Still a bit shocked, in a positive manner of course.— Im still happy stimming while typing this. /srs

maybe your sona got caught snatching donnie's stuff (つω`｡)?? it's supposed to be present dontron,, but he looks like future donnie so i guess he can also be that...? whatever you want!!! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ(((o(*��▽°*)o)) (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

huuhhhh. it is a pretty cool scenario erh, they are like a alien borrower, who is a little too curious about the kind of stuff thay humans.. mutants— living beings in general have and such. Curiousity got the cat killed expect the cat is stellar being from outer space and.. they are not killed, yet, but rather caught by a mutant softshell who is also a scientist. Get caught little dum-dum, they be chased around for interrogation and such (—‹ —).

*..little nightmares theme songs playing in the background* (specifically 'The Way Out' it would be suitable for a chase that may or may not escalate into something more.. heated in the process?? I dunno)

((alt context could be that steren accidentally vwooped themself into the bad end future and was noticed by future purple man? (•⩊•)))

Oooh, Isekai I see— and in an universe where the world is basically infested with alien species. Alien species which tale says that they came from the stars as well.. wait a moment that could giveanotherreasonfordonnietohuntthemdown. /silly They may be seen as some sort of a threat to the base, thanks to how the Kraang has destimated the planet and well.. steren/astro is an alien after all.

Also the reference that you used for my sona is like peak humour. I think. /gen

the original donnie looking down at steren before i realized it doesn't quite make sense and extended it with the addition of tilting everything,,, and the height difference between steren and donnie ((6 inches is 15.20 cm and 5'3 is 160 cm)) that i used!!!

Okay so, I assume that you had trouble with the perspective. Understandable, drawing perspective sucks and it can look a bit.. odd. More so trying to accurately capture the height/angle that you want the characters to look at. If that makes sense (—‹ —;). Though it is still cool that you tried, and you as well did some research on their heights as well— (accuracy is cool guys) /gen + /pos.

I feel envious of my sona's height. Why can't I be at a size where I can reach someone's ankle ?? I mean, I would encourage them to bite his ankle (and steal his moment) in case he tries to capture em or something that. Erh, they have no mouth. So that would not be an option. Still, I can envision them latching their tiny form onto his ankle or something and such, muahaha — scare the smart kid (or ..the old man).

sorry if i'm annoying you with these random art posts,, i don't want to make you feel like you have to respond every time (＃＞＜) (＃＞＜) !!!

M'kay, two words: It's fine

..more words, feel free to skip through this: I actually feel quite happy when you, or anyone else for that matter, creates something based on my stuff and such. Though I may get a little overwhelmed by it, positively though, I am not annoyed, you don't have to worry about that. As for you being worried about me feeling pressured about giving feedback, it's okay honestly. I do enjoy giving feedback to others and let them know that I acknowledge their work and such— as well as share my thoughts on stuff that is either made for me, or not. Though, I may not always give the same kind of lengthful feedback. I think. So in short, yeah, you're fine (0 ›0). /gen

i remember seeing you say something about a first-person g/t horror game and i thought of this a while after!! i think i drew this two to three days ago?? i drew steren first then donatello;;

..weeeergggg. /POS

first thing I am noticing is that you took inspiration of my idea for a G/t first person horror game. which, woah— this just give me the idea of—

*... little nightmares theme songs increasing in volume*

after that i realized that if i wanted it to be from the pov of steren looking up at him; i'd have to either redraw the entire thing ((i realized it only after i finished rendering)) or duplicate everything and use the transform thingy to fix the perspective and move the color layers to fit into the lineart :PPit made me take a break from it for like a day or two cause i got a little overwhelmed after shrimping over my pc screen for a few hours but i finished it!! ta-daahhh!!!! it still kinda doesn't look right to me

...urrhhh, unneeded reminder to not let your self get overwhelmed while doing something urh— shrimping over a computer screen ain't exactly the healthiest thing y'know. Glad you allowed your self to take a breather after all that work you put onto the art-piece though.

Erhhh, what else. I dunno. Cool gift =P /gen★

click on the image and up your brightness for the second pic!!! it came out darker than i expected it to LMAO ((it looks lighter on my laptop screen :<))

@starsinthenigth i'm not sure what the context of this is,, maybe your sona got caught snatching donnie's stuff (つω`｡)?? it's supposed to be present dontron,, but he looks like future donnie so i guess he can also be that...? whatever you want!!! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ(((o(*°▽°*)o)) (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

((alt context could be that steren accidentally vwooped themself into the bad end future and was noticed by future purple man? (•⩊•)))

from left to right;; it's the reference i used for the fisheye lens thingy ((brock lee,, found it after searching 'fisheye' on pinterest HSHFKDJF)),, the original donnie looking down at steren before i realized it doesn't quite make sense and extended it with the addition of tilting everything,,, and the height difference between steren and donnie ((6 inches is 15.20 cm and 5'3 is 160 cm)) that i used!!!

sorry if i'm annoying you with these random art posts,, i don't want to make you feel like you have to respond every time (＃＞＜) (＃＞＜) !!!

i remember seeing you say something about a first-person g/t horror game and i thought of this a while after!! i think i drew this two to three days ago?? i drew steren first then donatello;; but after that i realized that if i wanted it to be from the pov of steren looking up at him; i'd have to either redraw the entire thing ((i realized it only after i finished rendering)) or duplicate everything and use the transform thingy to fix the perspective and move the color layers to fit into the lineart :PP

it made me take a break from it for like a day or two cause i got a little overwhelmed after shrimping over my pc screen for a few hours but i finished it!! ta-daahhh!!!! it still kinda doesn't look right to me ((i feel like donnie should still be a little bigger than that..? not sure though,, i can't exactly visualize how it would look very well)) but i don't feel like editing it a second time (ノ*°▽°*) (ノ*°▽°*) !!!! /lh

[sukirichi]

sweet lies [02]

His lies were way too sweet – and you were too addicted to make him stop.

cw. explicit smut, slight body worship, public sex, dirty talk, praising, toxic megumi, fwb dynamics, slight angst, body marking, sukuna bullying megumi, age gap, scratching, mentions of oral (m receiving) and mutual masturbation, the traditional unedited fic

note. choose your fighter, megumi or sukuna 😈 also UHM do you guys want me to make the ending angsty or fluffy? i wrote out two versions so LOL let me know what you think! we’ll get more of the megumi scenes on the next chapter though~

series masterlist | 01 | 02 | 03

Sukuna isn’t kidding when he said he’ll have you unable to walk by the end of this.

You’ve lost count of how many times you guys have fucked.

Once more in the stalls when you thought of repaying the favor by sucking him off, followed by him growing impatient and hauling you inside his car. Both of you were too tired to go for another round, but were still very much addicted for the other’s touch that mutual masturbation seems like the best option.

Thankfully, Sukuna’s cut his nails, so having three of his fingers buried knuckle deep in you feels like absolute heaven. He’s not complaining about your smooth hands wrapped around his shaft either, especially not when you’ve had enough practice with Megumi to know just how to make a guy lose his mind. By the time you’ve made it back home, Sukuna’s grown hard again, too impatient to make it to the bed before he just fucks you raw against the wall. You’re trembling at his hold, left with no choice but to trust his strength to drop you on his cock and bounce you to his pleasure.

It’s a miracle you’ve made it on the bed.

His digital clock reads a quarter at three in the morning, and for a moment, you worry about how tired you’ll be in class tomorrow when Sukuna’s large hands grips your thighs sharply.

“Goddamn,” he hisses through clenched teeth, chuckling at the irresistible sight of your breasts bouncing before him. Limbs tangled, minds controlled with the primal need to fuck, and moans shared with his deep grunts – you somehow end up on top of him, your thighs feeling like they’re on the verge of giving up as you continue to ride his thick length.

“You are so fucking sexy,” he slaps your ass and causes your hips to rut deeper, forcing that delicious curve of his cock to meld with your walls. You throw your head back, palms planted on his chest, focused only on that burning pleasure between your thighs. “I could fuck you all night long.”

Even though you truly have no wish to, you shake your head, fingers balling into a fist. “I have class tomorrow, need to wake up early,” you protest, the words falling into deaf ears as Sukuna thrusts up into you. He must’ve noticed how you’re growing tired and took matters into his own hands, feet grounded on the mattress to pound deliriously into you. You’re debating whether to be thankful or frustrated he still has so much energy even after hours of fucking, but it honestly doesn’t matter. You’re falling into his chest, arms slipping on your equally sweat-covered bodies. Right now, you just wanted to cum – once more, again, one last time! “Ah, Sukuna, t-too much!”

“Too much?” he laughs and tangles his hand to caress your scalp, the gesture too soothing that you almost forgot he’s fucking you into oblivion. “Want me to go slow?”

“No…”

“Thought so, sweetheart,” his grin is absolutely cocky as he bends his knees in a fold, pushing you until your back rests on his muscular thighs. Your mouth falls open at his hands wrapping around your threat, keeping you right there, hips flat and grinding on his cock. “Come on. Come for me,” Sukuna urges, tightening his hold around your neck a little harder.  

That’s all you need for your vision to blur and see stars, your body’s shaking uncontrollable. He’s thrusting with all his power and energy that it feels like you’re nothing but a hole on top of him, tongue falling open in a wanton manner as your drool trails down your chin.

You look filthy, you feel filthy, and yet, Sukuna sees it entirely different.

“So – fucking – gorgeous, fuck. I woulda fucked you sooner if I didn’t feel weird about it.”

“What?”

“Aw, come on, sweetheart,” he smirks at your half fucked out state. Sukuna rolls his hips in such a mind numbing manner that you end up staring at the ceiling, trying your hardest to decipher the colors of his room to get a grip of yourself. But he feels so hot, cock throbbing and pulsing inside you, your puffy lips encasing him with a translucent ring of cum and it feels so fucking good you don’t really understand what he’s saying anymore. “Did you really think I never saw you in my dreams?” he slaps your ass again, the reflexive response of tightening around him pulling a deep groan from the beautiful man beneath you. “I have such a sexy roommate, I couldn’t help it.”

“Then why didn’t you – ah, right there, shit – tell me?”

“Cuz,” he snickers and finally lets you breathe, your pupils blowing wide from the sudden flow of air. Sukuna kneads your breasts greedily, never stopping his mind-numbing rhythm of ramming deep into you. Your body burns, your thighs ache, your pussy feels sensitive but you can’t find the energy to stop him. Instead, you fall prey, failing in your mission to keep him wrapped around your fingers because now you’re wrapped around his cock, and you were quite fucking addicted to it. “You’re my friend’s student. Felt so fucking wrong.”

“What’s the difference now?”

“The difference is,” Sukuna’s face contorts into something of discomfort for a moment before he leans forward, his sturdy grip homing in on your hips again. You feel his searing breath on your ear, so parching it puts the warmth of your pussy to shame. “Having you like this has never felt so right, and I’ll keep fucking you if you let me.”

“I-I’d let you,” you concede absentmindedly and capture his lips for a sloppy kiss, tongues giving up on a battle of dominance. You’re always so clingy when you’re about to come, something Megumi never fails to chastise you for, and you fear Sukuna might push you away as you wrap an arm around him, nails painfully scratching down his back. Red marks leave a trail on its wake until his blood pierces through the sheets, the pain manifested through the increasing roughness of his pace. Now it’s your turn to whimper in his ear, pulling the man close and tugging harshly at the ends of his hair. Gosh, were you actually crying? “Sukuna, I’m close! Yes, yes, right there!”

Sukuna groans at the erotic sounds you reward him with. “Come for me, that’s right, ohhhh,” he stills inside you, his seed spilling deep inside you. You wince at the burst of warmth spreading all over your belly and Sukuna chuckles at your bulging belly. He presses down on it to coax his cum to trickle all over his cock, and he’s fucking filthy – you learn easily – to watch you make a mess on his cock with a childish smile on his face.

You push yourself off him and fall to his side, him following suit not long afterwards. The room feels completely stuffed from your intense fucking, the bruises on your body and scratches on his back a huge attestment to that.

Your legs remain wide open as you clench around nothing, his cum oozing out like a waterfall. Sukuna (that damned pervert) dips two fingers into your hole for one last moment just to drench his fingers in it, his eyes lit up in wonder while he lets it web around his fingers. You snicker at his actions and roll to his side, eyes fluttering close from the wave of exhaustion that comes into full force.

The lingerie set you intended to wear for Megumi was now ripped at the other side of the room, discarded, forgotten – merely evidence of a moment that had never been given to him.

Oddly enough, you don’t feel bad, not even when Sukuna faces you, his cheeks squished by his soft pillows. “I’m spent. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired. My gym sessions can’t compare to this.”

“You go to the gym?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t born this gorgeous, you know. I had to work hard for this,” Sukuna gestures to his body. You can’t help but follow the gestures and admire the hard planes of his muscle ripped above one another, the smatter of dark hair leading down his hips adding to his already immense sexual charisma. It makes you want to jump on him all over again, and you have to bite your lip to resist that urge, rolling your eyes at him in favor of letting him know you could totally go for another round.

“Dork.”

“Got me laid though, was worth the effort,” he jokes, and you both laugh.

It’s actually…weird, to laugh so casually with someone like this. It might be normal for Sukuna in his past sexual endeavors, but it’s totally a different thing for you. You and Megumi had never even bothered with aftercare. As long as he’s satisfied himself, he’d clean himself off in the bathroom and wear his sweatpants, winking at you before he leaves you alone all over again. The memory – albeit not really a regrettable one – is still painful each time you’re reminded you’ll keep coming back to him.

But are things different now? Could you go back to Megumi? You only ever wanted to fuck Sukuna because you’re sad and horny, but it wouldn’t be fair to him, especially when your roommate has been nothing but nice to you. Besides, him being a little more decent doesn’t immediately equate he’s different than Megumi.

For all you know, you could just be another cheap fuck. Sukuna is older and sexier, after all, he’s clearly had a lot more experience than you do.

As if reading your mind, Sukuna rests his head on his palms, elbows flat on the bed as he turns to you. The expression on his face is unreadable, but there’s some sort of softness behind it – a softness you’re not really familiar with.

“Hey. I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, not everything, anyway, but whatever we have right now, I want you to know it’s not because I see just as a pretty pussy, okay?” he says with a straight face, but you really shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up because Sukuna smirks, mischievous eyes darting back and forth to your soaked pussy and bare breasts. “Although you do have a pretty pussy. Can I eat you out again?”

With that, you snatch the pillow underneath him and whack it straight at his face. Sukuna laughs at your protests, the sound growing louder and a lot more mocking the harder you hit him. “Gosh, Sukuna, shut up!”

You end up hitting him way too many times in the face that he can’t get his words through, and before you could react, Sukuna’s ripped the pillow away from you. He cages you in his arms and hovers over you once more, his boneless dick grazing the insides of your thigh. It’s not meant to be sexual, and nothing about his stance gives off anything that shows he wants to do it again, but you can’t help but feel aroused, shifting your legs up and down the bed as you squirm.

“Seriously though,” he repeats, “We can be casual, or this could be a one time thing. Card’s all yours to play. If you want to forget everything tomorrow, I’d gladly do it. Let’s just go back to the way we were-”

“Sukuna.”

“Yes?”

“Did you really think I was only using you to distract myself?”

Sukuna’s lips flatten into a line. “I’m not stupid,” he says somberly, “I could tell you were still thinking about him. Not that I mind, though, you can’t stop yourself from loving someone,” Faintly, you’re distracted by his thumbs rubbing at your pulse point. It’s so lulling you want to fall asleep, but Sukuna isn’t done talking. “My point is…you don’t have to worry about being weird with me. We could just be friends with benefits, if you want, and not the kind you have with your boy toy either. ”

His blatantly catches you off guard and your eyes widen before they narrow at him, trying your best to hide your embarrassment. If Megumi was painfully honest, Sukuna’s ridiculously blunt that his mere words make your heart do weird things you’d rather not feel.

Careful, you remind yourself, Megumi is the one you want. You have to keep reminding yourself that before your feelings get the best of you. It’s Megumi, it’s always been Megumi and it always will be Megumi. Sukuna is just your roommate who’s nice enough to take your mind off things. You only wish you weren’t lying too much in case he gets the wrong idea you’re leading him on, but then again, isn’t that what you’re doing?

Friends with benefits or not – you still have no plans on getting involved with this guy any longer.

It’s always Megumi. You just really needed a quick fuck, someone whose dick didn’t belong with the guy you’re so hung up on over. The change feels nice and you definitely feel a lot better than the last time you met Megumi, but this guilt…it tastes bitter on your tongue, too heavy to swallow and ignore. It’s always Megumi, you tell yourself again in an attempt to relieve your pain.

Though it doesn’t subside and you huff in exasperation, turning away from Sukuna. You can’t stand looking at him right now.

“I’m not,” you mumble weakly, but the tears – the guilt, the heartbreak of not being Megumi’s lover, the regret and the ironic need to be closer to Sukuna feels all so confusing – all threaten to burst through. You don’t want him to see you cry, that would be lame, so you scoot closer to him and kiss his shoulder as you shyly ask, “C-can we cuddle?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, pulling you closer, “You don’t have to sound too nervous to ask.”

“Sorry, it’s just-”

“He never does that?”

“…Yeah.”

“Well, I’m not him,” Sukuna answers confidently, surprising you when he grabs your ass to press you flush against him. You’re both sweaty and hot to the point it’s uncomfortable, but Sukuna smells so sweet with his lingering cologne that you can’t help yourself from planting your face in his neck, breathing in the little hums he makes. Sukuna kisses the crown of your head – which is a little too sweet than you’d like – while his other hand runs down your back in a slow, sensual manner. Hell, it feels close to body worshipping, and you hate that you silently want more of this. “I’d cuddle you every day if you asked me to.”

“You’re surprisingly sweet,” you voice with a smile. Sukuna’s chest rumbles from the low laughter, and like that, you cling to him like he’s the only sturdy pillar in your life. It’s pathetic, maybe even desperate, but if he doesn’t mind, then why should you?

However, the moment is quickly ruined when the bell rings. “Shit, I forgot he was coming over!”

Sukuna glares at the door and holds you tighter, almost possessively, and refuses to let you go even as you squirm under him. “At three in the morning?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to meet him right now,” you groan helplessly.

Sukuna shoots you a blank look after that, then shoots out of the bed in an instant. You watch as he quickly dresses up in a fresh pair of sweatpants, grabbing a random hoodie from the back of his chair, presumably to hide the scratch marks. You have to hide your smile behind your hand because he looks so drool-worthy with marks littered on his already marked skin, and the fact he lets you mark him is even hotter.

He pauses at the door for a moment, pointing a finger at where you peered up at him curiously. “Stay there. I’ll talk to him and say you went out or whatever. Just make sure to silence your phone in case he calls. Better yet, turn it off.”

Sukuna closes the door behind him, already on the way to the entrance just as you press your ears against the door to eavesdrop. There’s a slight shuffling before the door unlocks, then, “Why the fuck did you lock-” Megumi pauses in his words, and you can perfectly picture his infamous scowl painting his handsome features already. Gosh, you wish you could actually see it, but if Megumi catches you sleeping with someone else, he might totally lose interest in you. That’s not something you could afford to happen.

“Oh. You’re her roommate.” You snigger at his usual what the fuck tone – how Megumi of him.

“Hey, kid, it’s a little too late for a visit, don’t you think?” Sukuna taunts, and it takes everything in you to not burst through the door at that moment. You’re stuck between wanting to laugh and crying, mostly because you would love and hate for Megumi to get riled up. “Do your parents know you’re here? Kids shouldn’t be out this late.”

“I’m not a fucking kid, I’m in uni,” he defends, “Do you know where Y/N is? I need to talk to her.”

Deciding fuck it, you open the door by an inch, just enough to peek. As expected, Megumi is glaring behind Sukuna’s shoulders in search of you. Meanwhile, Sukuna’s completely calm, checking his nails boredly as if Megumi isn’t fuming in front of him. And boy, do you know how much Megumi hates being ignored. “Oh, I think she went out, I don’t know why though. House was empty when I got here.”

“She didn’t tell you where she was going?”

At Megumi’s imposing tone, Sukuna tilts his head to scrutinize Megumi. Now that you’re seeing them together, Sukuna’s twice the size of Megs, their height and shoulder width too different to start comparing. But knowing Megumi, he’s not going to back down from a tattooed guy twice his size, not even as he sarcastically remarks, “Ain’t you her friend? She should be telling you that kind of stuff.”

Truthfully, you expected he would put up more of a fight. The two of them share a heated staring competition before Megumi scoffs, the first one to look away. “Whatever,” he dismisses, “Tell her to pick her damn phone up. I’ve been calling for the past hour.”

“I think I should tell her to get better friends.”

“What was that?”

“I said get home safely,” Sukuna chirps. Even with his back turned to you, you could tell Sukuna’s just further pressing his buttons with a grin that’s not meant to be inviting at all. Just when you think it’s done, however, Sukuna finishes off with, “Kid.”

Megumi rages. His blue eyes flame into something feral, his fists balled at his sides. He’s always had a temper issue and you nearly reveal yourself to stop whatever fight is about to ensue, but Sukuna’s already closing the door, ridding any opportunity for the younger one to retaliate. At the sound of the door closing, Sukuna leans against the door, his smile still plastered on his face as if he knows you’re watching the whole time. He meets your eyes from the slight peep of his door, waving his hands sarcastically.

“Sukuna, you didn’t have to be so mean.”

“Sorry,” he isn’t apologetic at all. “Next time I’ll be nicer to your asshole crushes,” he adds with a slight roll of his eyes and you punch his chest playfully. You don’t stop him from grabbing your wrists to embrace you in a hug that doesn’t seem so platonic – but not so suggestive either. Sukuna rests his chin on top of your hand while he sways you both side to side, his voice muffled in your hair. “I understand why you’re attracted to him though. He’s really handsome.”

“Yeah, he is,” you agree sadly, thinking of how much it’s really all a waste Megumi has to be like that. “Just sucks his personality ruins everything.”

“A pretty face is always deceiving,” Sukuna suddenly pulls away and holds you an arm’s length away.  “Hey, want to have early breakfast?”

“I think that would be late dinner,” you frown at him.

“Whatever, food is food,” he responds rather excitedly, and you watch as Sukuna rummages through the fridge. Now that you think about it, having sex so much really took a toll on you, and your stomach grumbles loudly. Sukuna hides his chuckles through the fridge but you hear him anyway, shouting at him that you’re not hungry. “Wasn’t asking, sweetheart. Now go get cleaned and changed, I’ll make something for you.”

If anyone were to tell you that a good fucking is all that’s needed for you to immediately form a new kind of friendship with your roommate, you’d call them weird. Sukuna isn’t necessarily out of reach, you and him just simply didn’t cross paths.

But now, you’re dressed comfortably in his boxers and the oversized shirt you stole from him, eating the slightly burn cheese sandwich he’s made, sharing conversation and laughing with him like you’ve been doing it for such a long time. Your sandwich is actually half forgotten on the plate as you whack your palms on the counter, “That’s how you and Prof Gojo met? I never would’ve expected you guys fought over a girl!”

“He was fucking annoying in high school,” Sukuna grumbles over an angry bite, “He was getting all the girls that when someone confessed to me, the hottest chick, no less, he straight up punched me in the face,” you laugh as you imagine the memory of a younger, already rebellious looking Sukuna getting smacked by the even more intolerable Gojo Satoru. Sukuna is lost in his own memories as well, shaking his head from around the last bites of his bread. It’s clear he hates the burnt crust judging from the way he turns a little green, but he’s bragged about his cooking skills so proudly that he has to save face in front of you. “Ah, such good times,” he muses before wincing at his own words, dropping his bread in disgust. “Damn, I sound old, don’t I?”

“You’re only like, five years older than me, it’s fine,” you giggle, “I like the maturity that comes with older people. You’re a lot easier to be with than guys my age.”

“Please,” Sukuna smirks, “Just say you like fucking older men. I won’t judge.”

If anyone were to tell you that you would be jumping over the counter to strangle your roommate who’s now running like hell, your laughter bursting through the once silent apartment, you would call them a liar. But now, you and Sukuna are panting on the floor, too tired from sprinting all around before calling it quits. Maybe it’s a lie – maybe this connection will never really be that much of a big deal – but as long as this lie and play pretend of friendship lasts, you’ll just enjoy every sweet moment of it.

taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed) (bold can’t be tagged) @uwubby-1 @expectoscamander @your-consulting-fangirl @dora-the-grownup @cosmotoic @charlie-xo @kittaliapenn @sukunas-cult-leader @flowersgirl02 @cloudsinthecosmos @90s-belladonna @averysheart-raleighsdick @generousstudentpsychic-bat @kat-su-ki @issamomma​ 

[diamond-coral]

A Game

Summary: Tony suggests a game that you, the unfortunate intern, get dragged right into the center of: who can make a woman cum the fastest?

Pairings: all dark!: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader, Thor x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader, Tony x Reader, implied natasha x reader

Warnings: DUB-CON/NON-CON (oral: f-receiving, fingering, tiny smidge of analplay) VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM, BLACKMAILING, OVERSTIMULATION. The characters in this story are NOT good people. After reading the warnings, your media consumption is your own responsibility!

As Stark’s party mellowed down and all the guests left, you, the unfortunate intern, were called over to the small group of five Avengers seated in a section of couches.

“Y/n, come!” Thor’s voice boomed.

“Y/n, come!” Sam mimicked, deepening his voice to make fun of Thor’s.

You approached them as the men snickered at Sam’s joke. 

“What can I do for you?” you ask, a fake smile plastered on your face.

Stark cleared his throat and raised a brow at you; a silent command. 

“What can I do for you, sir?” 

“A round of drinks please, and add this to Sir Barnes, Sir Rogers, and I’s drinks.” Thor handed you the flask of his Asgardian liquor and you accepted it, hiding the slight nervous tremble of your hands.

“Of course, sir.”

“Someone’s been learning their manners,” Steve taunted, and it took all your restraint to not snarl at him.

“Easy there, Rogers,” Stark interjected, noticing how your fingers clenched Thor’s flask tighter. “Pretty sure Barnes fucked the brat outta her couple days ago when he came back from that shitshow of mission in Bosnia. Got a lot of pent up rage there, Buck?”

“Mission just put me in a bad mood,” Bucky shrugged. “Either way, I don’t think I fucked all the brat outta her. Got anything left for me, doll?”

“I have nothing for you, you self-righteous, ignorant prick,” you spat venomously.

“There she is. I always love a challenge.” Bucky smirked at how your knuckles were turning white around the flask. “Now didn’t Thor ask you to go fetch us some drinks?”

You huffed, opting to bite your tongue rather than lashing out, and spun on your heel toward the minibar.

Three-months ago, you would never have imagined your internship interview at S.H.I.E.L.D to bring you here. Your interview had been conducted by Captain America himself, and just as things began to look promising, it was interrupted by a sharp knock from Tony Stark. Tony had brought Steve into the hall, leaving the door to the conference room open, and you could only sneak glances through the window of the room, hearing Steve whisper about how it was “a question of morality” while they both kept looking back at you.

You got the position, and the next day, Tony sat you down and gave you an offer.

The Avengers needed to be ‘taken care of’, as he put it, and you being a ‘stress-reliever’ would boost morale around the team. Most of the them never had time for the outside world (apparently saving the world was a big commitment?) and were rarely ever able to make lasting relationships. You could accept the position, be compensated monthy, and get to live in the compound, or you could decline, and walk away with your mouth sealed by the confidentiality contract you signed before the interview.  Something about S.H.I.E.L.D. work being linked to a lot of top secret information, meaning you weren’t allowed to speak any details of the job to outside parties unless you wanted to get sued for every penny you were worth.

You had been on the cusp of taking the second option before Tony mentioned your sister’s job as S.H.I.E.L.D. as an agent. She was half the reason you’d interviewed for an internship. A couple words from Tony about her possibly falling into a fatal accident on a mission, and you took the position offer in a heartbeat.

You almost overfilled the glass while getting lost in your train of thought. Setting down the bottle of expensive whiskey, you placed the last glass next to the others on the silver tray, and picked it up, gracefully yet begrudgingly making your way back to the small gathering.

“Y/n, finally. We were just talking about who here can make a woman cum the fastest.”

The complete utter bluntness of Tony’s words caught you entirely off guard, and you tripped over your own feet, stumbling in your high heels to keep the tray of drinks from falling before Sam reached an arm out to catch the tray and another arm to hold your hip and steady you.

You ripped yourself from Sam’s touch without acknowledging or thanking him, to disturbed by Tony’s previous words to do so. You began passing out the glasses of dark liquid. “And you’re telling me this why?” Your voice was flat in hopes of showing Tony you were completely disinterested in any plans he might have.

“Why, we need your aid, Lady Y/n,” Thor answered a little too cheerfully for your taste.

“I won’t be partaking in your little immature competition of toxic masculinity.” You crossed your arms and continued. “It makes it seem that women are nothing but prizes. Games to be played by boys as they fight over the highscore. Toys.”

“Aren’t they?” Steve cocked his head, eyes glimmering with amusement while a smirk painted his face. The rest of the men chuckled at his reply.

“I think HR would be shocked to hear that Captain America is being a sexist dick to a woman in the workplace,” you bit back, but your threat was weak and they all knew it.

“I think HR would be to busy writing a condolence letter to your sisters family if, let’s say, on her mission with Sam tomorrow in Russia, a stray bullet hit her,” Steve replied. A quick reminder at the stakes. 

Sam clicked his tongue and shook his head in mock sympathy. “Those darn Russians and their careless aim.”  

He abruptly pushed himself off the couch and clapped his hands together. “I wanna go first,” he declared.

“Just remember, you can’t use your dick,” Tony added. “Some of us don’t have super soldier serum enhanced fuckwands.”

“Please never, ever say fuckwand again,” Bucky said, scrunching up his nose. “Besides, the hydra serum didn’t do anything down there.” He waggled his eyebrows while elbowing his enhanced counterpart. “Don’t think I could say the same for this punk here though.”

Steve muttered a ‘shut up’ while the group snickered.

All while they compared sizes like a bunch of teenagers, Sam manhandled you onto the coffee table in the center of the couches. You let out a grunt as you were shoved onto your front, stomach pressed into the tabletop while your pelvis was slammed into the edge.

Sam kneeled behind you and brought up two fingers to your mouth.

“Get ‘em nice and wet for me, baby.”

The men around you went quiet, entranced as you reluctantly took Sam’s fingers into your mouth, sucking on them and swirling your tongue around them.

When Sam finally pulled them out, he looked back at Tony.

“You ready?” Sam asked.

Sam hiked the flowy skirt of your dress up your legs causing you to squirm and pathetically thrash; a desperate attempt at putting an abrupt stop to this stupid game.

“You’re on the clock.”

At Tony’s words, Sam immediately stopped your desperate attempt at worming away from him by catching you by the back of your neck and slamming you back down hard on the coffee table. Much to your disdain, the rough treatment made you wet, and that was the last thing you wanted them to see.

But when Sam pulled your lacy panties down, you could tell it was the first thing he noticed.

“Fuck babygirl, I didn’t need you lubing up my fingers, you’re already drenched,” he noted.

You let out a soft moan as Sam worked two calloused fingers into your pussy. Although they’re thick and long, they were nowhere near the size of his dick and you silently thanked whatever was out there that he wasn’t splitting you in half with it at the moment. Sam released the grip on your neck, moving to settle the hand on your ass before giving it a light squeeze and a slap that elicited another moan from you. While Sam slowly began moving his fingers- twisting, curling, and pumping them- he leaned over you, caging your body under his broad chest, to speak dirty words into your ear.

“Baby, you’re so wet right now, I think you like having them watch you.” Your cheeks burned in shame while he picked up the pace. “You want them to see how well-behaved you are for me? Want them to see how you come on my hand like a good little slut?” he cooed.

Slow pumps now turned to quick thrusts from his skilled fingers and Sam groaned as you fluttered around him.

“That’s it. You’re taking me perfectly.”

Twisting his wrist so his thumb could also strum your clit, Sam was moving so fast you’d easily mistake him for a superhuman.

“Yes, Sam, please,” you cried out, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“Uh-uh, babygirl. Wrong word,” he scolded, although his pace never slowed as his fingers brutally fucked into you.

“Daddy!” you screamed. “I’m cumming!”

You chanted those words, cunt clamping down on his merciless fingers. He gave you no reprieve, mercilessly thrusting into you, until you squirted, your release coating his hand and dripping down his forearm. Only when you were almost crying, did he finally remove his hand from your abused cunt.

“Now that-,” Sam stated, grinning while he stood. “-is how you make a girl come.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever Birdbrain.” You don’t have any strength to look at Tony as he speaks. “Give her a couple minutes before whoever’s next.”

Whatever the conversation was between them (you couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in your brain), it was much too short to your liking. The few minutes Tony gave you only felt like a few seconds before Bucky was getting up.

“Guess I’ll take a crack at it,” he announced, rolling his head from side to side.

“No one says “take a crack at it” anymore, old man.”

“Keep talking when your in last place, Sam,” Bucky quipped, however, his tone was still light.

You felt a metal hand on your hip before you were rolled over onto your back, now facing Bucky while your eyes pleaded with him.

“Please dont,” you croaked.

Bucky just scoffed, kneeling down between your legs and wrapping both arms around your thighs as he pulled you closer.

“Tony?” His hot breath fanned your pussy as he spoke and you inhaled sharply at the feeling.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Stark said.

Bucky wasted no time the moment the words left Tony’s mouth. He started by licking up from your hole to clit over and over, the lazy stripes already driving you wild. Letting go of one of your thighs to bring his flesh hand to your pussy, he pulled the hood of your clit back, pausing his licking to blow on your engorged bud.

“Such a pretty pussy, doll,” he murmured before turning his head around and speaking louder. “You guys seeing this?” 

He moved his head out of the way to showcase your glistening folds. A couple groans from the men on the couches had you trying to close your legs, but Bucky’s grip was like steel (especially considering his hand was metal).

“Wasting time Buck,” Steve commented and Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“I’m pretty sure I can still beat Sam and have time left over,” he scoffed.

Bucky directed his attention back to your folds, this time, diving in right away. He still had the hood of your clit pulled back as he encased the bud with his lips causing you to writhe at the intense sensation. And yet, you were held down with practically no effort as he methodically played with you. Each time he groaned against you, you let out an embarrassingly loud moan, and by the time he started sucking on your clit, you were wrecked. Your hand found home in his brown locks of hair while he quickly moved his tongue back and forward on your sensitive nub that was trapped in the vacuum of his mouth. The coil inside you wound tighter and tighter, and suddenly, while Bucky began shaking his head from side to side, it snapped. Your clit pulsed rapidly while encased in his hot mouth, and you screamed, legs locking around his head while your hand held his head in place. He worked you while you rode out your orgasm on his face until you could barely move.

Bucky got up from his knees, grinning down at you, so weak, you couldn’t muster it in you to glare back.

“Now I think I really fucked the brat out of you,” he said. “What was that?” He cupped his ear. “Did I hear a thank you sir?”

“Thank you, sir,” you whimpered weakly.

You were so fucked out, all the next events were but a blur.

Thor had feasted between your thighs the same as Bucky but was more sloppy, although, your body seemed to love ‘sloppy’. His tongue was constantly lashing and worming around your clit, the wet muscle accompanied by lewd slurping sounds, and in record time, Thor’s suckling and licking had you tensing and building up so much that your orgasm felt like a waterfall crashing over your body.

Steve was just as methodical and precise as Bucky, also pumping his fingers slowly in and out of your pussy. He was sweetly slow, dragging out your pleasure to the point where you were begging him to come. His warm tongue dragged across your sensitive cunt, while another hand reached up to grab a breast and pinch a nipple. You felt like your body was on fire. It wasn’t until Steve had inserted a thumb into your ass that he finally allowed your body sweet sweet release.

Your head span as finally collapsing on Tony’s floor, listening to the muffled voices above you.

You didn’t even register Stark’s words as he announced Thor had won and Steve had come in last. You barely even heard Steve’s defense that he was just enjoying himself too much in the moment.

Although ten-minutes later you had a somewhat sense of clarity, after hearing their conversation, you wished you were just unconscious. Even better, dead.

“I’m tellin’ you man, I made her squirt. She definitely came the hardest with me.” Sam’s voice rang.

“Dude- she was literally grinding against my face and holding me in a headlock with her legs,” Bucky argued.

“I literally made the brat beg to cum,” Steve inserted.

“I’d say that by bringing her to release the fastest, it was most intense with me,” Thor declared, victoriously.

You were on the brink of tears as they talked about you. Until another voice cut into the room. A female voice.

“What do you boys think you’re doing?”

It was Natasha. Your head jolted up as you felt a glimmer of hope surge through you.

That glimmer of hope was quickly extinguished at her next words.

“Not inviting me to the boy’s party?” she scolded. “You think a girl might beat you by a landslide?”

Nat squatted down next to you, running a soft hand on your cheek.

“Well you’re right. I’ll beat Thor’s record and cut it in half.”

She began unbuttoning her pants.

“And I’ll do it while riding her face.”

[trismp4]

❛ i don't know , this all just seems like a cop out . i'm trying to include you in fun and exciting activities . things to not only broaden your horror horizon but also life experiences that we all have to go through at least once . and taking in a potentially possessed dog is one of those things . life altering things . ❜ tristan was talking 𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 at this point . unsure if he actually wanted drew's help anymore or if the idea of talking him into doing something potentially 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 was more amusing to him than the first option . that and the fact that himself and drew had an odd relationship . it was unclear if the two really liked each other or if they found the other to be a bit of headache . either way , here they were . tristan trying to sway the other male on his side . get him to 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 whatever dumb ideas he had in his head . ( something he wasn't short of . ) ❛ and look , if you end up falling in love with the dog , who i named turkey by the way . we can co - parent . i'll let you see him on weekends . we can go on family outings , picnics , walks in the park . some horror movies can have a 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 and content ending , drew . ❜ the brunette continued to ramble on before his attention was brought back to that damn candy he was eating from his pocket . although , tristan wasn't really one to judge being that . . . he'd eaten questionable things from questionable places time and time again . if anything , a pocket wasn't so bad since the other knew exactly where that pocket had been . ❛ why do you have licorice in your pocket in the first place ? saving it for later ? and you decided the right moment was when i was pouring my heart out to you . trying to ask for your help with our child ? kind of rude . . . you could've at least waited⏤ ❜ stopping mid - nonsensical - sarcastic - ramble . tristan scrunched his eyebrows at the other as he took another bite of his candy . this time pulling a bit of fuzz from his teeth . ❛ fucking hell man , you might as well just eat the whole thing instead of picking around it like a squirrel . at this point , just eat the fucking lint . ❜

drew likes to think that he would've been voted ' most likely to survive a horror movie ' back in high school if such a superlative had existed at his school, but it didn't, and he didn't win in any of the actual categories so he was just the lousy valedictorian. "watching something that isn't the movie in question wouldn't count as watching the movie, no." sometimes he feels like tristan is maybe messing with him when he gets things really wrong about movies he swears that he's seen before, but the problem is that drew has never been very good at recognizing that he's being messed with. he frowns. "dude, the reason that i would survive a horror movie is because i've seen enough of them to know better than to land myself in horror - movie - flavored scenarios. and taking home a random stray dog that may or may not be possessed by demon ? textbook horror - movie - flavored scenario. so yeah, you can count me out." he's about to point out the other glaring issue ( which is that tristan lives with his agonizingly practical brother, who would totally make everyone stop and fold their socks or some shit like that before they all ran for their lives ), but drew is successfully sidetracked by tristan's question about what he's eating. "it's licorice," he brandishes the half - eaten piece of candy in the skateboarder's face. "and i'm eating around the linty parts." he frowns as he chews on another piece and feels something ... fuzzy in between his teeth. " ... mostly." he amends, wincing and struggling as he tries to catch the lint on his tongue.

[jackalopesao3]

Obey Me Cast Receiving Oral HCs

Super NSFW

⛔️ Minors do not read/interact ⛔️

⚠️ 18+ only ⚠️

I don't even like giving blowjobs but here we are 🤷‍♀️ I have no idea why I felt the need to write this. I'm such a hoe for these fictional demons, a fictional angel, and a fictional sorcerer. Please put me out of my misery.

Characters: The Brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon

Lucifer

💙 Likes to be in control when receiving so you will be on your knees.

💙 Sometimes he will stand and other times he will sit at his desk chair.

💙 Likes to keep a hand on your head to control your movements.

💙 Sometimes he'll just hold your head still with both hands and fuck your face.

💙 Typically doesn't get naked for them and just unzips his trousers.

💙 Lucifer isn't very expressive when receiving and stays pretty composed. He'll either just stare at whatever is in front of him or look down at you to make sure you're servicing him properly.

💙 Loves the feeling of your lips wrapping around his cock and deepthroating him.

💙 When he gets to close to release, a very faint blush will spread across his cheeks and his mouth will open just slightly in a silent pant.

💙 He lets out one breathy moan when he cums and his eyes close.

💙 Will praise you for your efforts and stroke your head as he comes down from his high.

Mammon

💛 Is a blushing mess when he's receiving.

💛 "Of course you want to pleasure the Great Mammon."

💛 Prefers you on the bed with him while he's on his back, he can hide his facial expressions better this way.

💛 He gets hot easily so his clothes always end up in a pile on the floor.

💛 Is very sensitive. Has come from just you licking and teasing underneath his head.

💛 He is a whiny, needy, drooling mess. He just looks so adorable when his breaths puff out from his reddened face.

💛 Will also keen and bite his pillow as he nears release.

💛 You may have to hold his hips still as he will start bucking his hips uncontrollably. He just gets so into it.

💛 Slip a finger into his ass and curl it while you deepthroat him and Mammon.EXE will stop working.

💛 Gets really clingy after he fills your mouth with his seed. He is super affectionate and thanks you for pleasing him.

Leviathan

🧡 Is also a blushing mess when receiving. No matter how long you've been in a relationship, he is still a shy boy at heart.

🧡 Leviathan is loud. You have to be careful when his brothers are home due to the volume of his moans.

🧡 Will totally let you go down on him while he's gaming. Has forgotten to mute his mic before though so best to remind him lest his teammates hear all those lewd noises he makes from your ministrations.

🧡 Will give you shy little praises as you suck him off. "Y/N...s-so good...aah!"

🧡 He can go either way with keeping his clothes on. If he's not gaming while you're doing it, he likes when you take your time with him and strip him of his clothes.

🧡 Despite thinking of himself as a, "yucky otaku", when you kiss down his body and praise him it makes his heart soar.

🧡 He is very sensitive, almost as much as Mammon. He will tear up from the pleasure.

🧡 He loves when you cosplay as his favorite characters during the act.

🧡 Play with his balls gently while bobbing your head up and down on his length and he will lose it.

🧡 When he gets close to climax his toes curl and he bites his lip.

🧡 Afterwards he likes to pull you close and kiss all over your face while repeatedly whispering "I love you," to you again and again.

Satan

💚 Prefers to be in control when you're going down on him and much like Lucifer, you will find yourself on your knees.

💚 Likes to be seated in a chair, clothed or unclothed it depends on his mood.

💚 If he's feeling particularly randy that day, he will collar and leash you, holding your leash as he looks down at you working so hard to please him.

💚 He loves watching your head bob up and down on his cock but he also enjoys holding your head still and fucking your face.

💚 If he has any precum on his head before you start, he will tell you to lick it off, watching intently as your tongue laps up each little bead.

💚 Will growl things like, "Right there, kitten! Don't stop!" when he's getting close. He growls in arousal, doesn't moan.

💚 Despite his almost feral growling as you bring him to the edge, he remains in control. Will keep his dick perfectly still as he empties his seed down your throat, you can feel his member throbbing against your tongue as he releases.

💚 Likes to pull you on his lap afterwards and praise you for a job well done.

Asmodeus

💗 Asmodeus loves a good blowjob, anytime and any place really.

💗 "Such a naughty little minx, aren't you, Y/N?" He'll tease you if you do it somewhere you could get caught.

💗 When the two of you are alone, he prefers that you both are naked so you can enjoy each other's bodies in all their glory.

💗 Please worship his cock and tell him how amazing it is - kiss along its length and rub his balls.

💗 He likes when you start with his tip, sucking on it softly and slowly taking more and more of him into your mouth.

💗 Is very vocal, calling out your name while he moans in ecstasy.

💗 If you're okay with it, he will take pictures of you with your lips wrapped around his cock or your tongue licking up his shaft.

💗 Kiss and suck along the underside of his member to watch him lose his mind.

💗 His moans get louder and louder as he reaches climax and he will stroke your hair as he cums, cupping your cheek as he watches you drink every last drop.

💗 He is also very cuddly and loving afterwards and will snuggle into your side.

Beelzebub

❤️ Will suggest doing a 69 with you - he loves to give and the vibrations from the moans you make around his cock.

❤️ Beel gets hot easily, so he prefers being naked when receiving.

❤️ Does get worried about you choking on his massive length and girth of his package.

❤️ Seeing your cheeks stuffed full of everything he has to offer is a big turn on though.

❤️ Despite not having control with things like food, Beelzebub is a very gentle lover and good at controlling his reactions. He's very aware of his size and strength.

❤️ He's vocal, letting out low moans and guttural growls as you work him towards release.

❤️ Insists on making you as comfortable as possible so isn't picky on what position the two of you are in.

❤️ Loves when you suck on his balls and tease them.

❤️ Will warn you when he's about to release as he typically cums a lot more than the average demon.

❤️ He will moan your name as he empties himself down your throat and thank you afterwards.

❤️ Definitely cuddles afterwards and will want to return the favor as soon as you're ready.

Belphegor

💜 Will be a pillow prince on days he's feeling particularly in tune with his sin.

💜 Just lays on the bed as you suck him off, eyes closed and letting out soft moans.

💜 Gets incredibly aroused if you tease him and will beg for release if he's in more of a sub mood that day.

💜 On other days he likes you on your back while he straddles you.

💜 Will fuck your face as you lay on the bed, in complete control of your body as he thrusts in and out of your mouth.

💜 Likes both of you to be naked when he's on top like that.

💜 Belphie has just a slight sadistic streak in the bedroom and gets turned on when you're all but choking around him.

💜 He will never hurt you though and if you show any sign of distress, he stops immediately.

💜 For either position, his tail will come out and wrap around you affectionately.

💜 When he's on his back, he whispers your name as he releases his seed into your mouth. If he's on top, he lets out a growl as he fills your throat with his cum.

💜 Is always up for cuddling after. Gets really sleepy after orgasm. Likes to nuzzle into your neck and shoulder while his arms, legs, and tail wrap around you.

Diavolo

💙 I wholeheartedly agree with the majority of the fandom that Diavolo has a huge dick so he tries his very best not to buck his hips when you go down on him for fear of hurting you.

💙 He likes to sit on the edge of the bed while you kneel between his legs so he can watch you. Diavolo absolutely adores you and loves seeing you work your little mouth around his girth and length. He always has a comfy pillow for you to kneel on so you don't feel sore.

💙 If you can't kneel, that's okay. Dia is honestly quite happy with any position. He wants his lover to be as comfortable as possible.

💙 He let's out soft moans and whines. He's definitely touched starved so he gets really into it. Don't be surprised if he lets out a deep growl and fists your hair.

💙 He loves praising you while you suck him off. He will stroke your face and hair lovingly during gentle sessions.

💙 One of his favorite things is when you make eye contact with him and the two of you exchange a loving look. He loves when all your attention is focused on him. Sometimes he will take one of your hands and lace your fingers together, giving your hand a squeeze when you lick a particularly sensitive spot.

💙 When Diavolo cums, he cums A LOT. He will warn you ahead of time and always gives you the option of swallowing. He will not be hurt in the least if you spit. He knows his load is a lot to handle.

💙 Diavolo likes to reciprocate and will happily go down on you afterwards if he hasn't already.

💙 He loves to cuddle and becomes slightly possessive post-orgasm and will hold you close to him.

Barbatos

💛 This man is not used to others doing things for him both in and out of the bedroom. He probably doesn't have a lot of time to relieve himself either as he's so busy.

💛 That being said, he prefers to sit or lay down on the bed when you go down on him. He wants to be completely relaxed so he can focus on the pleasure you're giving him.

💛  For some reason, I imagine him being slightly shy about it. You will have to ask/initiate. It's probably been a long time since he's had intimacy with anyone. Barbatos might even be a bit shy about it.

💛 He doesn't make much noise except for some small gasps when you swirl your tongue on his head just right. He may let out a few soft grunts and pants as well.

💛 Barb likes foreplay and when you take your time pleasing him. He wants to enjoy these rare moments of intimacy with you. Play with his nipples and gently bite his thighs when you're warming up. That will really get his blood pumping.

💛 He tends to stiffen up as he comes before letting out low moan and releasing all that tension. He really doesn't care if you spit or swallow. He is sure to praise you after.

Solomon

💗 Shady wizard is likely a horn dog and will let you suck him off just about anywhere. Sometimes he'll even pull his cloak around you and hide you in it while you do your thing to him.

💗 When you're alone he prefers to sit or stand so he can watch you. Will place a hand on your head and sometimes help you bob your head up and down on his length.

💗 Solomon isn't shy about telling you what he wants. He'll tell you when to suck and where to lick and will watch you as he gives you instruction.

💗 Sometimes he'll just hold your head still and fuck your face when he's feeling particularly dominant. He'll also talk dirty to you as he uses you and your mouth like a sex doll.

💗 He uses magic to soundproof the room if he wants to be loud. Definitely curses and grunts as he's getting close.

💗 If you don't want to swallow, he'll occasionally pull out and come on your face or chest. Will pat you on the head afterwards while teasing and also praising you.

Simeon

💚 Holy boy is still a horny boy at times but he is the most shy out of everyone. You will definitely have to ask and be the one to bring it up.

💚 Always makes sure the door is locked and that he has some kind of sound proofing spell up as he doesn't want anyone walking in.

💚 Even with a sound proofing spell, he's still rather quiet. Simeon will bite his wrist or muffle his cries into a pillow.

💚 Prefers to be on his back so you can't his flushed face and his blissful expression. He also wants you to be comfortable though so he will do another position if that's better for you.

💚 The underside of his shaft is pretty sensitive and he will buck his hips on reflex if you slowly trail your tongue from his balls to the underside of his head.

💚 The closer he gets to orgasm the less he cares about keeping quiet. Will moan and sigh your name as he fills your mouth with his seed.

💚 Is a little shy afterwards but also clingy. Simeon will hold you close but will blush when he makes eye contact with you.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Ya know, I'm pretty sure what's going to happen with Raphael is a lesson in "don't just take second hand accounts and form a judgement about someone else without giving them a chance" and you're kinda failing that. Can we also stop pretending like Beel is an innocent marshmallow? He's a demon who's literally eaten other demons and implied to have eaten humans too and clearly is not that oblivious, and I don't blame Raph for being frustrated with the brothers when we know they can be.

........dude I'm like joking?????????????

Qmdodudidngdidodmxnx

I'M 100% JOKING!???? YOU GUYS GET THAT RIGHT??????????????????????????????????????????

FUCKING HELL DUDE

jfc

I actually like Raphael as a character, I've been excited about him coming to the game since forever. This is the same kinda shit I pull with Lucifer (aka getting MC to annoy him for fun) and he's my second favourite character

Don't know whether I should laugh or cry qndndkdkdhjdidnddjdndn

Raphael straight up tells MC that he knows they both have a bad idea of one another and that they should put that aside to try to form their own opinions of each other

Also a lot of the game and characters work on the notion of "don't judge a book by its cover". I wrote a whole mini essay on why that makes Mammon such an interesting character. The whole of S1 tried to sell Lucifer as a cold sadistic evil person only to show that he's an overworked overprotective dad.

Plus the reason I like Raphael so much is because he's a morally grey character (the same way they hinted all the angels and the celestial realm to be)

Last lesson I was ragging on Beel for only being able to list two good things about Mammon...

ALSO BEEL TRIED TO KILL MC FOR TAKING A BITE OF HIS CUSTARD (or whatever the fuck it was in S1) ANDKDUEIDKKSMS YEAH HE'S DEFINITELY NOT uwu or whatever

All that being said:

This sentence ends with "It was really depressing"

^ this wasn't about demon! Beel this was about angel! Beel. Lucifer took him in after this point, Lucifer who's an asshole took him in and showed him that his strength can be used to protect instead of destroy.

In the Mammon vs Raphael UR Raphael keeps putting down Mammon and then later chasing Mammon while throwing spears at him for picking up broken items that people have thrown away and trying to fix and sell them - an actual normal thing to do

Raphael ain't no innocent marshmallow either. He's a complex character. He's snide (yes he is. This isn't a second hand account. This is the way he talks about Michael and to MC when they guess his name wrong) and self-righteous. He also likes to stitch and he stitched the brothers clothes when they ripped them as angels. Like Michael, he probably loved the brothers and may even still miss them.

So yeah, tldr:

1. I was joking😐

2. Ik Beel ain't a sweet cinnamon roll or whatever💀

3. Raphael's a complex character with dimensions. What he said/did to Beel was shitty. NOT because Beel's a uwu baby or whatever but because it was a shitty thing to do to ANYONE who was struggling. But that doesn't make Raphael a shitty character, if anything it makes him more interesting

4. Though I don't hate any of the characters, Obey Me! is a game where players are allowed to choose their own options and make their own interpretations of things meaning despite the overall story still being the same each player will have their own unique experience. So there's definitely gonna be people who hate Raphael and adore Beel and.....that's okay? It's their game and their right to feel about it however they want to🤷🏻

5. I'm going to keep choosing options to antagonise Raphael (and Lucifer and occasionally Mammon & Satan) because a.) I think it's funny b.) My MC is an OC with their own personality and perspective of things. I play them under the assumption that they don't get to see things from "above" like us. They'd have their own biases and make their own judgements that'd fit the personality I assigned them all the way back in S1. And it fits their character that they'd be protective towards the brothers simply because they know them better and consider them family. The same way we'd side with our friends over some stranger who possibly hurt them in the past.

@avatar-mikazuki couldn't have put it in better words:

[gnocchighoul]

the demons brothers + a touch starved mc

Lucifer

If you’re going to Lucifer because you’re touch starved, then you’re definitely going to be close to him already -- he doesn’t let just anyone touch him.

.......He’s also touch starved but won’t admit it, so one of you is gonna just have to bite the bullet and make a move.

(It’s gonna have to be you)

You’re going to have to go about this carefully--make a really good plan and then execute it flawlessly.

Literally just throw yourself at him. 

He’ll catch you. 

Probably.

Nothing says ‘give me affection’ quite like yeeting yourself off the staircase at him, and he definitely understands what you want when you latch on tight to him like a weird little barnacle that he cant peel off no matter how hard he tries dfghjkkgf

He’s really warm and he smells Really nice and he hugs you so tight, like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get, so he’s honestly one of the best snuggle buddies. 

He’s gonna act all fussy about your love-attack at first--just play with his hair and smother him with lots of kisses and he won’t be able to resist snuggling u. Or banging u, but that’s your choice

Y’know, because “demons can’t resist temptation” and all that jazz. 

(tbh he just likes likes you alot)

Mammon

...Why are you staring at him like you wanna eat him?

Seriously, knock it off, you’re freaking him out!

Wait, why are you coming closer…? Get Back you Fiend don’t you DARE wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest like that what the FU--

...Oh.

Huh. This is kinda nice.

(Just hug him. If you want his affection, just wrestle him into a bear hug and don’t. let. go.)

At first, Mammon doesn’t really understand affection that isn’t along the lines of a friendly/loving punch. He’s not used to kindness. It’s a fucking tragedy. 

He doesn’t know how to ask for love because I don’t think he even realizes thats an option, tbh. 

He’s kind of like an unsocialized puppy--will definitely put up a fight until he realizes that, hey, being snuggled is nice.

Luckily for Mams, you are touch starved and determined to show his stupidass what affection is supposed to be like. 

He’s going to get so blushy. Sooo blushy. He totally pretends to not like it at first, but inside he’s over the fucking moon happy.

It takes him a while, but eventually, he realizes that he can ask you for snuggles too. At first he’s all “C’mere human, I bet you’re just itchin’ for me to hug ya, so let me make all your dreams come true!”

(It’s a defense mechanism.)

But over time, he eventually seeks you out and just flops on top of ya, and doesn’t feel the need to make a big show about it.

He feels safe with you, and that’s priceless.

Levi

Is incredibly confused about why you’re seeking out him for affection.

When you ask him if you can give him a hug, he expects you to just like... Wrap one arm around his shoulders for .2 seconds. 

Which doesn’t sound too bad, so he says “Um, sure, I guess? I dunno why you’d want to though” 

So when you climb into his lap and wrap your arms around him like a koala bear, his brain straight up blue-screens. 

Seriously, he forgets how to breathe. Don’t squeeze him too hard or he might never restart.

You smooch him on his cheek and his soul promptly leaves his body and is ejected into the atmosphere at mach 5.

This is literally better than Heaven. And he would know, he used to live there.

He totally freezes up and makes a wheezy sound that’s somewhere along the scale of “Dying Animal” and “Exploding Sink”

Needless to say, you create a snuggle monster.

I promise you that you’re never going to be touch starved again, because once you’ve given Levi a taste, he can’t get enough. 

He constantly needs to be touching you. Holding your hand or the fabric of your shirt, leaning against you, sitting with you in his lap while he plays video games--it literally doesn’t matter, he just needs that contact with you or he might literally die. 

He’s very enthusiastic about it dfghkfd

Satan

Look… Satan is very smart. 

But he’s also incredibly dense at times. 

You have to be blunt with him, or else he’s just not going to know what you want.

(Feelings that aren’t all consuming anger and hatred are still a bit new to him--he’s learning as he goes)

Just walk up to him and tell him that you need him to snuggle you right now, dammit. Lay your soul bare to him. 

He really does love that you trust him. It makes him feel all weird and fuzzy inside.

And how can he possibly say no when you set his heart alight?

That said, he is a bit of an over-thinker. 

Worries about crossing boundaries or making you uncomfortable and a million other things--give him lots of reassurance pls

He isn’t opposed at all to cuddle sessions, especially if he’s able to read at the same time. 

It definitely becomes a normal thing to cocoon yourselves up in a really fluffy blanket to read together.

Satan is honestly one of the best to snuggle with because he’s very chill about it. You want this and he wants this, so he doesn’t see a point in playing games.

So yeah, he’s chill! But he’ll also threaten the life of anybody who interrupts you guys 

Asmo

Please, he knows that you’re touch starved before you even do.

Until you’re upfront about it, he’s going to tease you by like, patting your head, playing footsie with you, giving you only the briefest of hugs--just slowly giving you a taste of his affection until you finally cave and demand that he snuggles you properly. 

(Is that a euphemism? It could be lol)

As soon as you ask he’s gonna push you down onto the nearest couch/bed/whatever and just flop on top of you. 

Honestly, Asmo wants You to be the one holding Him. He wants to use your chest as a pillow, and doesn’t he just look so cute all snuggled up to you like this? He totally does, you should take a pic of him!

Cuddle sessions are absolutely going to become a regular thing, and he makes them into a big event each time. My mans Asmo is gonna bust out the candles and the softest blankets and the fluffiest pillows.

If the opportunity strikes, he’s definitely gonna try to bang you.

If not, expect to do face-masks together. Maybe manicures. But definitely the face-masks, at least.

He’s gonna spin this into a fuckfest or a self care session--it really just depends on what you prefer sdghjk

Once you’re in his arms, he will tickle you. rip

Beel

He is the BEST hugger in the whole entire world.

When you approach him and ask for cuddles he will pull you into a hug without hesitation.

I do not care how tall you are, Beel is taller. He will engulf you in a hug and rest his chin on your head and sway you back and forth 

You want a piggyback ride? Hop on. 

Just wanna watch tv and snuggle? Great idea! :D but maybe don’t watch cooking shows or he’s gonna drool on you dfghj

(lowkey I think he would really enjoy watching human movies with you. He found Mamma Mia to be absolutely enchanting)

Want him to lay on top of you and crush you until all of your woes have been squeezed away? He will absolutely oblige you

Congratulations on your newly acquired teddy bear! Please don’t forget to feed him.

Literally just sit on his lap or wrap your arms around him whenever you want, he’s always down for a good snuggle. 

He’s by far the nicest about it too, he won’t tease you about it and he will never hold back from telling you exactly how much he loves holding you in his arms

Definitely loves to be the big spoon but has no problems with being the little spoon either. 

He’s just so fuckimg SWEET

Belphie

Oh, you're touch starved? Perfect. He's been in the market for a good snuggle buddy.

You silly human, why didn’t you come to him sooner?

Don’t listen to what Asmo says, snuggles are Belphie’s domain.

Once it’s established that you two are going to be snuggle buddies, he will literally just abduct you for snuggle time. 

He doesn’t care what you’re doing, he’s going to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of flour and haul you off to his blanket nest whenever he wants.

He just wants you all to himself. 

Will share your snuggle time with Beel tho.

After abducting you, he's just gonna toss you onto his bed and fall on top of you. He's really warm and he really just wants to lay on you. Partially so that you cant escape once he falls asleep lmaoo

He's happy to just talk to you about whatever you want while you guys get your snuggle on, but be warned: he's eventually going to fall asleep. 

Probably mid sentence. 

He won’t wake up when you poke at his cheeks or shake him, either. So uh. I hope you’re in the mood for a nap too!

Get matching sloth onesies with him. He’ll tell you it’s stupid but he’s actually thrilled with them. (Make sure you also get Beel a bear one though)

((part two with the undateables + Luke))

[demonslayedher]

How Does Eating Humans Work?

Hello, Gotou here. We’re shamelessly borrowing from the format of a KnY Fanbook #2 comic to launch an investigation into demon metabolism and development by crossing the Sanzu River again to interview demons in the underworld. While we’ll be using canon materials as a base, the analysis and conjecture herein is personal, so we ask for your understanding. Also, please note that consuming any food in the underworld will make you unable to return, and we cannot promise your safety even though the interview subjects are dead, so please come along at your own risk.

Some of the questions we’d like to answer are, why do demons need to eat humans? How much do they need to eat to survive? Are there factors that influence how eating humans makes them stronger? If they don’t want to kill humans, what are their other options? We’ve rounded up some special guests below the cut (hidden for length and grossness), everyone from the lowly Temple Demon to the lovely Tamayo, to see what their actions in canon might tell us.

First, a review of what canon tells us, mostly as summarized in Fanbook #2: 1. With one exception named Yushirou, all demons were created by Kibutsuji Muzan, for his own purposes. They all have some amount of his blood, and can be divided into four classes depending on how powerful they are. From top to bottom, the Upper Moons, the Lower Moons, demons with special abilities, and other demons without any special characteristics. 2. Demons may be stronger depending on how much of Kibutsuji Muzan’s blood they have. Most beings’ cannot handle a large amount of his blood, and it will rupture the cells and that being will die, but there are demons who adapt well to it. 3. Typically, sunlight is the only way to kill a demon, by either bathing them in sunlight or cutting of their head with a Nichirin blade. However, there are powerful demons for whom chopping off their head does not work, and if it’s strong enough, demons can also be killed by wisteria poison.

4. Demons eat human blood and flesh. The more they eat, the stronger they become, and the faster their regenerative abilities become. Some humans have “Marechi,” a rare blood type, which is especially nutritious to demons, and eating one Marechi is the equivalent of eating several humans.

That’s an interesting thing we’d like to come back to, especially since we’re looking for quantitative information about how demons gain nutrition (though I have my doubts we'll get enough for statistical analysis). As an interesting note, Fanbook #2 also tells us that if demons try to consume the same edibles humans do, they’ll vomit it back up.

I’m told that Miss Tamayo drinks tea, though. That’ll be an interesting question for later. In my notes, it seems she’s also explained to Tanjirou back in Chapter 15 that demons will normally go berserk if they go a long time without consuming any blood or flesh. Berserk is one thing, but I wonder if they can starve to death? We’ll see if these canon clues will lead us to anything. We’ll begin now in an interview format. Hopefully this will go smoothly, but I’ve got a feeling it won’t. First up, we’ve the Temple Demon.

Temple: Who were you calling ‘lowly’ just now? Up there, above the cut?

Gotou: That was in a literal sense, not having Blood Techniques means you’re in the bottom common tier of demons.

Temple: Argh. Fine. What do you want to know?

Gotou: In Chapter 2, you were spotted with three human victims. However, it seems you left their bodies mostly intact and only ate small parts instead of consuming one full human at a time. Could you comment on this?

Temple: I’d have gotten to more later if that whelp with the strong legs didn’t interrupt me! Who’s got time to eat entire humans anyway? I went for the easy stuff first.

Gotou: I see. It appears you might had focused on key organs, like the heart and the liver. Would you say these are especially nutritionally dense?

Temple: I guess. If I’m going to eat humans, I’m going to start with what’s worth bothering to digest. Blood’s easier on the stomach, so that’s what I was busy with on the lady there.

Gotou: Then it takes effort to digest? Hmm. Let’s come back to this later. How many humans would you say you consumed, including these three?

Temple: Not a lot… I tried to get a variety so I could get stronger faster, but…

Gotou: I’ll put down a guess as ten or less. Let’s move on to someone who has a sharper memory for numbers. One of our longer-lived guests at Mt. Fujikasane for 47 years, the Hand Demon. While most of the demons on the mountain had only eaten two or three humans, you’ve eaten a whole 50 of the children who headed into the Final Selection, didn’t you?

Hand: Yes, that’s right. It was hard at first since I wasn’t very strong, and the demons usually all went crazy there eating each other, just like that one brat who got away in Chapter 7 said. If you could manage to kill any of the kids, you had the other demons to fight off to even get a piece to yourself. That was enough to get me by, and stronger, little by little. Your body learns to make your meals last, and make the most of what you can get. I usually only had a bite of one child a year, can you imagine how horrible that was? Most demons who survive usually figure out some way to develop and survive better, and once my cells found something that worked for me, I kept doing it. I got really good at snatching away prey from other demons, and soon enough I was a bigger threat than any of them. None of them could, you might say, lay a hand on me.

Gotou: That’s an interesting point about self-development. A demon named Nezuko was spent two years doing that in her sleep.

Hand: She must have had a big meal before that!

Gotou: Well, anyway. It seems that in near starving conditions, your metabolism made the most of what you had, leading to the most efficient use of whatever food was available to you.

Hand: That’s right, I got really good at it. Wasn’t always pretty, but I made it work. I got to a point where I could go two years without eating and still keep my wits about me while the other demons were going mad. But I chose to eat. I liked to keep my appetite for specific children.

Gotou: That smile is not reassuring. Some humans taste better than others, I guess?

Hand: That’s for sure. This one kid tasted awful, like rust and man sweat! I still don’t have that disgusting taste out of my mouth! But he was one of my more satisfying meals, so I ate more of him.

Gotou: Then why would you… nevermind, I don’t like that smile, no further questions. While I had hoped to keep these interviews focused on quantities of humans consumed, it does seem personal taste is worth asking about. I had tried to invite a Swamp Demon from Chapter 11, but it kept arguing with itself and it felt like I’d be wasting my time. The one definite thing I learned was that this demon is picky, with a distinct preference for 16-year-old girls. Based on the number of trinkets he kept, it seems he had consumed at least seventeen of them, including several in one town. Sheesh, that’s sort of a rough mission to send a first-timer on. I’ve got a more cooperative guest here to discuss her tastes, a Snake Demon who, according to Chapter 188, has a special taste for baby flesh.

Snake: Thank you for having me here. It’s good to be appreciated again.

Gotou: Did you only eat babies?

Snake: Goodness, no. Babies are delicious, but they aren’t very nutritious. And their skulls certainly aren’t that big, the ones I lounged around with were from the people whom I killed and stole from. But you know the nice thing about baby skulls? They’re still soft. They take a long time to digest, but I can swallow them whole.

Gotou: Like… like a snake, then. Sorry, I’m a little ill hearing that. Let’s back up, were all those skulls the remains of adults you ate, then?

Snake: Meh, I ate some of them of better-looking ones, but most of them I only killed. I could usually kill a lot more at a time than I could bother eating, my killing record was fifty women all at once.

Gotou: And you didn’t find that wasteful?

Snake: Wasteful? Not at all. I wasn’t exactly in dire straits, I lived a more luxurious life than most demons do. That meant I could afford to wait for a truly delicious meal, like how you humans might leave something in a slow-cooker to enjoy the perfect combination of doneness and tenderness, plated in the most appetizing of ways.

Gotou: I guess demons and humans are similar in that regard.

Snake: I’m so glad you can relate! Then you understand the frustration of a meal you’ve be preparing for years opening up the slow-cooker and running away right when they were just about done.

Gotou: I have never had that experience.

Snake: I’ll get you, my pretty. And your little snake, too.

Gotou: I think we might have gotten a little off-topic here. It does seem digesting humans comes with some difficulty. I’d like to invite the Drum Demon in next. Your name is Kyougai, I hear?

Kyougai: !!

Gotou: Kyogai, right?

Kyougai: You’ve heard of me! You know my name!

Gotou: I happened to, yes.

Kyougai: What have you heard???

Gotou: That you were kicked out of the Lower Moons for being unable to consume enough humans.

Kyougai: Oh. ……..yeah, that’s me.

Gotou: I thought demons go berserk if they go a long time without consuming humans. Wouldn’t that make an inability to consume them problematic?

Kyougai: It wasn’t that I couldn’t eat them! Like I said in Chapter 24, I had to in order to sustain myself, just like any other demon. But, at some point, I couldn’t eat as much as I used to. That happens to humans too, doesn’t it? When you just can’t stomach anymore?

Gotou: You mean like when you’ve overeaten? In a human’s case that feeling may go away within a few hours.

Kyougai: Sort of like that, but you know, humans reach a time when nothing is appetizing or the thought of eating makes them feel sick, right? Isn’t that the human condition?

Gotou: …uh… maybe if they have a medical condition? Or anxiety? Do demons get anxiety? Or eating disorders?

Kyougai: I… I don’t know. I just wasn’t good enough.

Gotou: I think it’s plenty good if you stopped eating humans. Though to have developed Blood Techniques and been a Lower Moon in the first place, you must had eaten a great number of them.

Kyougai: You think I’m great?

Gotou: What?

Kyougai: No, sorry, I was getting ahead of myself. It’s true, I used to be able to eat as many as the other Lower Moons always consumed. Our stomachs were stronger, you might say. Demons got strong by eating humans, and then the more you did that the better you usually got at it, so the strong ones would eat more and more and keep getting stronger and stronger. At least, that’s how it usually worked. I’ve seen other demons below me reached that point too, where they feel the drive to eat, but then they have trouble digesting it for a long time, so they don’t wind up eating that many people.

Gotou: Then it would make sense to eat the most nutritionally dense parts first.

Kyougai: Or a Marechi.

Gotou: Yes, or a Marechi.

Kyougai: It was a great idea, wasn’t it?

Gotou: I cannot condone any consumption of humans as a good idea.

Kyougai: I knew it. I’m nothing. Go ahead, stomp all over everything I ever tried to accomplish.

Gotou: I think I’m going to move on to my next interviewee now. It looks like we’ve got… oh, would you look at this? Lower Moon One. Enmu, I believe.

Enmu: You can believe whatever you want. I’m happy to help.

Gotou: I don’t need any help, thanks. I’m curious, since you were one of the stronger demons out there, it seems you had a stronger capacity for consuming humans.

Enmu: I did, I was always careful and paced myself so the Demon Slayers wouldn’t notice me. I took my time. I liked to enjoy e-e-e-a-c-h one.

Gotou: Then you had tastes too? Like babies, or 16-year-old girls?

Enmu: I could season any human to my liking. They’re all very easy to prepare.

Gotou: I’m still trying to get quantitative data. Can you tell me at least a rough estimate of how many humans you consumed?

Enmu: I told this more precisely to that boy with the earrings back in Chapter 59, and I can tell you this too. At my best, I could had eaten over two-hundred people at once if I took my time.

Gotou: OH MY GAW----sorry, I dropped my pen. Two hundred, at once?

Enmu: Yes. If I had just. Had. A little. More. Time.

Gotou: Clearly there is a huge difference between what common demons are capable of and what the Twelve Moons are capable of.

Daki: Psh, those were all any random common people. That’s nothing to brag about.

Gotou: Excuse me, and you are?

Daki: Daki, Upper Moon Six. You want something really impressive, you talk to the Upper Moons.

Gotou: I’m sorry, I don’t see you on my list.

Daki: What! Your list is stupid. Look me in the eyes, I’m Upper Moon Six!

Gotou: Very well, then. What can you tell me about your diet, Miss Upper Moon Six?

Daki: That’s more like it. It’s true that digestion takes a while, and takes some effort. Even though we Upper Moons may have eaten hundreds of people in our lifetimes, it’s not as if we gorge ourselves. The clever ones among us save prey for later to eat when we feel ready for it.

Gotou: Food storage? How do you keep them fresh?

Daki: You leave them still alive, numbskull. Nobody wants to eat something cold, that’s gross.

Gotou: I see, so that’s why demons prefer to go after new kills instead of saving what they’ve already managed to kill. That also might explain why the demons on Mt. Fujikasane wouldn’t had eaten many humans, if they found long dead ones in edible.

Daki: You want to know the real secret to eating humans? You can eat what you find tastes good, sure. But to get stronger, you eat strong people. Like your Corp members, the ones besides chumps like you? Using all that Breath makes their muscles really lean and potent, it’s like they come offering themselves as protein bars for us.

Gotou: You make them sound like a fad diet…

Daki: The real secret is eating Pillars. Besides Marechi, they’re the strongest meals out there. Guess how many I’ve eaten?

Gotou: I don’t have the data to make an educated guess.

Daki: Then get educated! Look back at Chapter 88! I’ve eaten seven Pillars, and my brother has eaten fifteen!

Gotou: Your brother? Who is he, then, Upper Moon Five?

Daki: What? Ew. Gross. Gross! No way, ew!

Gotou: Hmm… eating Pillars, huh? Well, I can think of one Pillar who was…

Douma: Me too!

Gotou: Speak of the devil.

Douma: Actually, we Upper Moons can! And he's not Satan, that's not how this works. But I guess Muzan-sama’s curse doesn’t effect us now. Ask me anything you want!

Gotou: That Chapter 143 reference was such a rude entrance. I understand that Pillars are particularly nutritious—

Douma: Oh, please don’t misunderstand! I don’t even eat all the Pillars I’ve encountered. There was the one Flower Pillar who got away from me, but some of the boy pillars I just leave around. What’s really the key to consistent nutritional intake is women! It’s really unhealthy for a demon not to get enough women in their diet, that’s why even if you’re only looking for Marechi or Pillars, your metabolism is going to get thrown out of whack with sudden big meals. You grow a stronger metabolism with consistency, I believe!

Gotou: If I could stop you there, I had an image from Chapter 142 I preferred to focus on for this case study. I see you keep a wide collection of skulls, from victims whom I assume you ate.

Douma: Yes, they all stayed together inside me for eternity, but the room looked lonely without décor.

Gotou: It seems other demons usually go for nutritionally dense organs like hearts or livers, or easy to digest parts of the body, perhaps just blood sometimes. Eating the entire victim, bones and all, doesn’t seem to be the norm.

Douma: Bones are organs too, you know! That’s where blood is made, at its freshest. They do take more practice in learning to digest, and I had to find a way around not having to chew them, but the bone marrow is very, very good for you, so I make sure to consume it frequently. It may take more time and it causes some of my followers to panic more while they wait, though, that’s a bit of a downside. Oh, and I guess bones can make good storage for some sneaky poison. Even fingernails and hair follicles, who’d have thought?

Gotou: I don’t think hair would have much nutritional value in the first place. In all my years, I can never recall seeing a victim with their hair eaten.

Douma: Tsk, tsk! Clearly you haven’t done much metabolism research in advance. I was really impressed by how well Shinobu-chan understood how my digestion would work. Eating hair can do amazing things! Isn’t that right, Genya-kun?

Genya: ?????????

Gotou: Genya-kun!?

Genya: What am I doing here?

Gotou: I don’t think you’re supposed to be here. Isn’t there, you know, another side? The other direction?

Genya: What are you doing here? Did you die?

Gotou: I’m here doing research on demon metabolism and how they get stronger by consuming flesh.

Douma: What can you tell us about what up with having your friend feed you hair you found on the floor in Chapters 170-171, Genya-kun?

Genya: I’m not a demon!! Why the hell are you asking me?

Douma: ‘Hell’! Haha, good one!

Gotou: How do you even know about that? You were dead almost a full volume before that. And Genya’s different, he’s not a case study in how demons consuming humans works!

Douma: Are you certain?

Gotou: I hear the term get thrown around a lot that he’s ‘half-demon’, but—

Genya: I’m not a demon!!!

Gotou: --how would that even work? That would imply that one of his parents had to be a demon, and that—

Genya: What did you say about my mother!?!

Gotou: What? Nothing—

Genya: You say that to my face! You just trying saying something about my mother to my face! My mother never actually ate any flesh, you got that? She doesn’t deserve any of this!

Gotou: Genya, calm down, what—

Douma: I see we’re learning nothing about hair at all. Maybe Kokushibou-dono would provide better commentary on that?

Genya: Mom? Mo-o-o-o-m? Are you down here somewhere?

Gotou: And there he goes… wait, did you say Kokushibou? Upper Moon One? Oh no—he—he didn’t want me bothering him, he did not agree to another interview—

Douma: He-e-e-e-e-y, Kokushibou-dono! How did that work with Genya-kun eating your hair? Hair can be nutritious, right?

Kokushibou: You would gain… nothing… from consuming human hair… it’s not… flesh… you wasted your energy digesting it…

Douma: Aww, cutting it off them would had been sad, though.

Kokushibou: Demon hair… like demon weapons… is made… from our unique cells. It’s not dead… like human locks. Because that boy ate my live cells… it affected him…

Gotou: Yes, because he had a very, very unique metabolism, analyzed separately in this post. To be perfectly clear, Genya is completely human with cells that could temporarily transform, and he never consumed human flesh.

Kokushibou: He… vexes me…

Gotou: Um… while I’ve got you here, you’re one of the longest lived demons, clocking in at over three, maybe four centuries. Do you have any estimate of how many humans you’ve consumed?

Kokushibou: ……I see in… Chapter 100… that you are 23 years old?

Gotou: That is correct.

Kokushibou: Do you bother… remembering how many meals… you’ve had in a mere 23 years?

Gotou: I’m very sorry to have bothered you.

Douma: Kokushibou-dono’s ancient compared to the rest of us! But if I tried, I could probably recall. Let’s see. One, two, three, four…

Gotou: Is that? Your finger in your brain? Oh—ohhh—that is disgusting---I really don’t need to know numbers that badly, please stop. Is there maybe just some average you can give me for the Upper Moons instead? Like how many you’d eat in a month?

Douma: I wish I could, but a certain someone was an annoying outlier and didn’t like to eat so many humans. He made me worry all the time about his health.

Gotou: Really? Who might that be?

Douma: Hello-o-o-o-o-? Akaza-dono? Yoohoo! He spends all his time with his wife now and never answers when I call, it makes me so sad. Akaza-dono did eat humans, plenty of strong ones, but any time he wasn’t under orders from Muzan he liked to spend his time training instead of eating. Fanbook #1 says he did that way more than eating!

Gotou: Training? What sort of training?

Douma: Similar things to what your Corp members did, I imagine. Doing squats, throwing punches, things like that.

Gotou: Then demon muscles had similar function to human muscles, and could be strengthened through hard work? That’s surprising.

Douma: I know, right? I’ll let you in on a secret, I don’t think it was the physically repetition that did anything. I think it was his willpower getting honed and shaping his muscles.

Douma: I had to focus when I acquired new skills too, like breaking down poisons. A lot of sad, lowly demons, like that Hand Demon fellow? They focus as hard as they can in their desperation, or focus on some strong emotion or attachment or whatever, and they grow and develop because of it. Sometimes all their weak bodies can manage is an ugly mutation, but that’s proof enough of how much focus they had.

Gotou: That sheds a lot of light on Nezuko, actually.

Douma: Shed “light” on Nezuko-chan, hahaha! Sunlight! You humans are all so witty!

Gotou: Speaking of willpower, I’ve got one more interview I need to get to down here. Of all the demons I have records of, only Nezuko went her whole time as a demon without consuming any human flesh, although she did go through moments of berserk cravings for it. It’s possible that other demons were killed before they could consume anything, but typically they will consume flesh as soon as possible, which is why its common for their family and close relations to be among the first ones killed. Tomioka-san even mentioned in Chapter 1 that these close relations are especially nutritious.

Gotou: A demon about as old as Kokushibou, if not older, is a special case of her own. She was one of the only demons we know of to have escaped Kibutsuji’s curse and acted in dependently of him, including having created a demon of her own after two hundred years of trying. Most notably to our purposes, she trained herself to subsist on small amounts of blood, after having survived on corpses and wild animals for a time, according to the extensive Taisho Secrets at the end of Volume 21.

Tamayo: I explained this in more detail to Tanjirou-san in Chapter 15, but I went on to purchase blood from poor people, and extracted it in ways that wouldn’t be harmful to them. The one demon I created, Yushirou, could subsist on even less. I gained enough self-control that I could treat injured humans without feeling tempted into a berserk state.

Gotou: I was just talking to Douma about willpower making demons capable of accomplishing new physical developments. Was that how you were able to gain this state? I heard you even enjoy a cup of tea now and then.

Tamayo: Yes, I’ve taken a liking to it. I’d offer you some if not for this, you know, being hell. It’s nothing like the hell I went through when first resisting consuming humans, though. My demon body refused to take anything but fresh human flesh at first, but in the hardest moments, I always remembered a kind demon hunter who said he believed in me and my desire to defeat Kibutsuji Muzan. I believe Nezuko may have summoned her strength to resist the call of her demon cells in a similar way; she knew she had her brother there to rely on. Once she mastered something as remarkable as resisting the need for human flesh, it gave her the freedom to prioritize other developments.

Gotou: You spent centuries researching demon cells, especially how demons may break down and metabolize poisons.

Tamayo: I had not studied the metabolism of poisons until working with Shinobu-san. The medicine we concocted for Kibutsuji was only possible thanks to her work, and I couldn’t had worked with many of those wisteria-based substances on my own. I feel I was only there to fill in the gaps of her brilliant understanding.

Gotou: You’re very humble. I would pass along my thanks and compliments to Shinobu-sama too, but I’m pretty sure she’s not down here. On that note, did Genya-kun go back home?

Tamayo: He did after a nice reunion with his mother just now, it was very sweet. Shizu-san and I get along well, after all, we both carry similar guilt.

Gotou: Wait, was his mother a demon? That means Wind-sama’s mother was too? Wait?? What??

Tamayo: The worst hell I went through, or that any demon has gone through, is to realize what you’ve eaten after the hunger-driven madness clears. Being similar to your own cells, they’re easy on a volatile new anatomy to break down and digest. That’s why many demons may have driven themselves to forget everything all over again, or to twist their personalities to justify the horror, saying that because they ate the hearts of their loved ones and because demon flesh can live forever, then they never truly killed them. The truth always remained untwisted for me, and to this day, it torments me more than anything in this underworld can try.

Gotou: …

Tamayo: You should wake up now, Gotou. You’ve been through a lot; the nightmares must be taxing on your health. Please remember to eat well.