#Also fun fact: the doodle (top left) was actually something I did when bored

[seven-thewanderer]

okay I got bored (plus I listened to both “I Wanna Be A Machine” & “Abnormality Dancin’ Girl” Trickle’s cover), and I may or may not have decided to draw Nexus with my own imagination …hopefully things don’t go wrong :T

I wanted to give him a ripped labcoat, and I kinda liked the idea of his hat being an extra hand he can use :3

And there’s a lil clip thing on his labcoat to mimic the design of his Vr Model’s shirt

(And also I gave him the goggles from my Solar design :3)

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians!  (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order. 

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters. 

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables. 

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn. 

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew. 

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles. 

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone. 

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see. 

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not. 

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better. 

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha? 

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode. 

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience. 

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION. 

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit. 

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is. 

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question. 

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands  on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice.  My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that. 

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving. 

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing.  For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way. 

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE. 

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking,  brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them. 

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected. 

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square. 

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow. 

[overdramaticly-dying]

Mystic Library

One of my top three favourite episodes!! I actually recently got my sister to start watching the show with me by showing her this episode (and she’s never actually watched anything tmnt before) so if you’re trying to get someone into Rise, this is a great first episode imo!!

But enough about ways to get others into our tmnt cult, and let's talk about the episode!!

-When Raph was destroying the bathroom, apparently throwing Leo into the wall was one of his methods

-”So you thought that smashing everything but the mirror, would get him out of the mirror?” ”I couLD SmAsh THe MirrOR”

-There’s not really a point to include this other than the fact that they left April staring in horror at her bathroom (rip April) idk I just really like this shot, ok?

-”Ah, like a book on how to catch? HEADS UP!” *yeets book at Donnie*

-”Aha! There’s something interesting in this section on rocks!” “said nobody ever” “ha you’re right, geology stinks”

-”Libraries rock” (you think no one would catch that pun Leo, BUT WE DID)

-Donnie’s face, when he’s talking to the librarian, is precious

-Actually, that whole conversation is golden. 

-Sidebar: how did Donnie get a library card? Don’t you need proof of residence and an ID?

-Raph just casually picking up Leo and Donnie to check for Mikey & Leo and Donnie being absolutely chill with it

-”ECHOOOOO... I REGRET NOTHING”

-Raph’s laugh when he thinks abt Mikey in the kiddie room, idk it’s just really adorable for reasons I cannot begin to put into words, cuz it's such an older sibling thing to do

-I think Mikey’s face when he’s scared actually broke my heart

-”Donnie you wanna write this stuff down?” “The brain is nature’s notepad Raphael, I have already memorized the directions in song form.” *yeets mystic ball behind him* (rip random library dude)

-The foot deciding to fight with the turtles purely because they’re bitter

-There’s so much I love abt Donnie’s rap and the fact that he’s the second one to get caught, but I’ve already made a few posts abt it, so should I really go into this again? YEP

-ok but seriously- I was expecting Donnie to outlast everyone, or at least be in a battle and go out that way, since that’s pretty much how it always goes with the ‘introverted characters who like libraries’, but no, he got out because he was incredibly excited, he was being himself, and he was still in character. Like what is this??? they made an introverted character who has a personality outside of that?? Rise is amazing and I love it for dumping the cliches at the door

-”Write it down I say, but nooooo, ‘tHe BrAin iS NAtuReS nOTepAd’”

-”Are you trying to get Donnie fired?” “Wha-at? whaaat?... we’ll discuss that later-”

-these poor souls

-The entire run sequence with Raph is absolutely beautiful- someone already mentioned this before, but despite how big Raph is, his movements are really gentle and fluid

-The action sequences in this show are really fun to watch- I often find it hard to sit through action shows/sequences without doing something else at the same time, but Rise is one show that I can watch fully w/o getting bored- all the action in this show is easy to watch, beautiful, and entertaining

-The last we saw of Mikey, he had thrown the kids off to Donnie. I just wanna know what happened in that short period of time for this to happen 

-I wanna know if they ever returned that book to the library, or if they just stole it and never went back out of fear.

-THE BACKGROUNDS IN THIS EPISODE ARE SO AMAZING

tl;dr this episode is so great??? it’s another awesome example of how this show isn’t afraid to take chances, but also keep their characters in character the whole way through. It’s really funny, and everyone plays off each other incredibly well- and it works as a good introduction to the series if you wanna show it to your friends/family- even if they’ve never seen anything tmnt!!

Thank you for the asks!! @doodle-egg-noodle​ & @aloneontheoutside​ <3

also Donnie and Mikey are clearly related

[mcrmadness]

I’m just wondering about ADHD again and how the doctors here say that there’s no need for testing me for ADHD because I had “no signs of ADHD in my childhood”. Well, I was born in 1991. The whole terminology and the knowledge over ADHD was different back then.

I was talking about this with my mom a couple of days ago and she said that I had troubles with homework - not that I would have not understood them, I just had such a hard time focusing on them. She said that she constantly had to remind me that I need to focus on the homework and not draw doodles or do other stuff. She sais she asked even from the school how deal with a child who cannot focus on their homework and from school they just said “Make sure the table is completely empty so there is no distractions.” but my mom told them “Do you really think that helps? All they need is a piece or paper and a pencil.” and those were the tools I had - my school books and pencil. I didn’t need distractions on the table in order to get distracted from homework.

She then also said that back then no one even talked about ADHD. It was still known as MBD aka Minimal Brain Dysfunction Syndrome and since I was not “stupid” and definitely did not show signs of learning/developmental disabilities - in fact I was learning faster than other kids - there was no need to worry about this syndrome. (Nowadays it’s apparently removed from the Finnish list but can still be used as an umbrella term for things like ADHD etc.)

I was trying to google this term now, to understand when was the term replaced by “ADHD”. I only found that this was done in the US already in the late 80s but I could not find anything about Finland, but I know for sure that what comes to things like mental disorders and neurodiversity, Finland has always been running late when compared to e.g. the US... I could only find some sort of Finnish ontology and thesaurus website and it says that the article about MBD was created in 1986, but the article about ADHD only in 2000. That would mean I was 9 years old (and my social anxiety and selective mutism were starting to really grow), and ADHD was still considered very much the “disorder of hyperactive boys”. This website does not even know the term ADD so I have no clue when did they start using it for the first time (in Finland). I just know that my sister got the diagnose along with an Asperger’s Syndrome somewhere in the mid 2000s. Now I’m starting to feel like I want to go find some old books about psychiatry just to see when did they start talking about ADHD and ADD in Finland and how did they describe it as BEFORE they discovered it exists also in girls (and since I’m afab, I most likely have the inattentive version), because this is just driving me so crazy.

I just... I don’t know. I just feel stupid because why is it me who needs to read about the history of psychiatry? Shouldn’t it be the psychiatrists doing so? But I do wonder what would he say if I went to him and really said that “no wonder they never suspected AD(H)D in me as a child when the term literally did not exists in Finland yet”. I just feel like I need to start writing down something like a book about my experiences. Collect EVERYTHING I can find that I have written over the past 15 years in the internet and copypaste them into a file and print this out to him. My brain just empties itself when I’m supposed to talk to a doctor but then I just face these things in everydaylife 24/7. And he just wants to give me antidepressants for anxiety. Okay, he did offer me occupational therapy too but I am afraid that it will just... kill my creativity again. I mean, look at my “timetable” for one week if we think I’d have a random person visit me once a week, let’s say e.g. on Tuesdays:

Monday: Nothing - the resting day after weekend aka no way I’m gonna get anything done. Know that there will be occupational therapy next day - don’t get anything done because mentally trying to prepare yourself for that. Tuesday: Hypothetical occupational therapy. Not possible to get anything done beforehand. Afterwards you’re so tired and the day is done so just sit around the flat and feel like going crazy from bored but be unable to do anything because TIRED. Wednesday: Nothing - the resting day after the therapy. The next day is a grocery store day. Start mentally preparing for that. Can’t do shit because of that. Thursday: Grocery store day. Can’t do shit before or after. Before because can’t start anything in case unable to stop in time - and when having to force a hyperfocus to stop when it’s not stopped on its own, it makes me so irritable and absent minded because can’t think of anything else but that one thing I was hyperfocusing on. Friday: Nothing - rest day after grocery store day. Mentally prepare for the weekend on which I usually always visit my parents on both days. They live in the same city, just less than 2km away but I still can’t start anything before that really, and I come back home so late I won’t be able to do much. Weekend: Visit parents on both days.

And then repeat. So when am I gonna draw? Edit videos? Write? I always do the creative things at night because PEACE and because my brain just works better at nighttime - ALWAYS has. I even found a diary entry I had written when I was 13 or 14 and I had been fighting with my parents because I always did my homework so late and my dad didn’t understand that, and I was then screaming in my diary that they just don’t understand that I am not ABLE to do my homework earlier than in the evening/at night, it’s just not possible to do them right after school.

Already now as I have about 3-4 free days in a week, sometimes even 5, I feel like I need more free time from my free time. I’m constantly thinking about how I want to do this and that, like I want to draw, write, edit videos, write... they are on the top of my mind 24/7 but still it takes weeks or months to get anything started. I just wrote about this yesterday that I feel like I have two moods: either too little time AND energy or too much time but a plenty of energy. There’s no in between. Now I am lucky to have too much time for myself but it also means I have all the time in my hands so I can always procrastinate and do everything the next day because I have time. Which means I won’t do shit, because I have no deadlines, and I start doing those things only when everything lines up perfectly. It’s never a decision to take my sketchbook and start drawing. It’s more of an impulse - I just feel like now it’s the day for drawing and suddenly find myself holding the papers and pencils in my hand.

Same happens with chores, chores just never make me feel good unlike doing one of these fun things. Oh and chores are also something that will make it hard to do the fun things because I kinda... don’t let myself start doing the fun things if I have the not-so-fun things undone. Which means again procrastinating and postponing something like dishes for days. I am not sure where have I got this mentality. Because like... wouldn’t it be a lot smarter to let myself to draw instead when I KNOW I can’t start doing the dishes, instead of punishing myself with “no washing dishes, so no drawing either”? Because as a punishment it does nothing. It does not motivate me with the dishes. They will be there for days or weeks anyway and they will be done only when I get that impulse to finally do them. Or, usually it’s not an impulse even. It’s just me needing food and in order to get food, I need to cook and in order to cook, I need clean pots and pans and in order to get those, well, I need to do the dishes.

I think this mentality partially comes from my school time. I aways knew how to prioritise my homework so that I get them done the most efficiently I could. Which meant that I always made the less-interesting homework first and the homework from subjects I liked, the last. I did this because when I started with the stuff I had harder time focusing on, it made it easier to focus on the interesting stuff. If I had started with the interesting stuff, I’d have had a lot less concentration and energy left for the less interesting homework and the chances of understanding a word of what I read would have been very minimal.

I still pretty much use this with everything I do - work first, fun later. I guess for neurotypicals this is not a big deal and probably something they all do, but my brain really wants to do the fun first and the work never. (By work for myself I mean things like chores etc. When I was actually working, it actually went: work first, fun never - because I was so tired after work I could not do anything that involved brains.) If I start with the fun, I literally will never do the work part. So I have to have the work first, even when it means I will procrastinate with EVERYTHING else too. But that is the only way to get it done at least at some point. It’s just that I feel like my life is nothing but work. I always have to shower, do the dishes, clean the kitchen table or start cooking. (Let alone the rest of the stuff like cleaning the HOME.) It’s a neverending worksite. I barely have time for fun because I don’t let myself to do that because the work is not done yet. But it just... never ends.

I think the reason why I hate chores is because no matter how many times I do them, I still always have to do them again soon. I shower, but I need to shower again in a few days. So it feels like it’s a waste of energy and time! Why to shower now when I have to do that after a couple of days anyway??? I do the dishes but there they will be again in a few days as I keep eating from them! Washing a plate after every use is also not an option - then “it’s just one plate” so it’s easy to put it in the sink because it’s not a big deal to wash it with other plates after a couple of days. Until it’s been 2 weeks and there’s again the rest of my plates in there and I hate my life again because I never remember how much washing the dishes also makes my back hurt but I need clean utensils because food.

But when I create something or play a video game, there is always a finish line and once you get past that, you don’t need to start over UNLESS you want to! When I draw something and it’s finished, it will stay like that! It’s not going anywhere, it won’t fade, I don’t need to draw it ever again if I don’t want to! So it’s not waste of my time, it’s something that will last almost forever. And I love the dopamine rush I get when I look at a finished product, but I don’t have the dopamine rush when I look at my cabinet with clean plates because I know they won’t stay like that forever. They won’t stay like that even for a few days. And that literally kills my motivation with every chore I need to do.

[doc-pickles]

livin’ for the hope of it all

Fun Fact: This is probably my favorite track from folklore (betty is a close second and they’re actually connected in the same storyline) so I created an AU College Sweethearts Jolex storyline just for this. I also needed to change things up because my fics for this week were feeling repetitive, but the good news is that I actually love the storyline and this piece!

(And while we’re at it, shout out to @odd-birds-and-booksellers for beta reading this and helping me clean this up for y’all. ILY and you’re the BEST!)

Also oops I slated this as angst and that just absolutely did not happen. It’s pretty fluffy but uh warning the ending is not happy… at all… So sorry about that.  So without further ado, the folklore fic that stole my whole entire heart!

But I can see us lost in the memory

August slipped away into a moment in time

'Cause it was never mine

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine

“Alrighty boys, can I get anything else for you?”

“Yeah how about your number, sweet cheeks.”

Jo rolled her eyes, used to the degrading remarks she would often get as a waitress in the greasy diner. The table of young boys didn’t bother her, they were a dime a dozen working in a college town and it was a sure bet that one of them would say something stupid or degrading to Jo.

Ignoring the comments and laughs from the table, Jo began to walk away but didn’t get very far. The boy closest to the edge had tugged her arm hard enough that she went flying backwards, landing in his lap as one hand came up to hold Jo in place against him. 

“Aw come on baby, don’t you want this,” the boy was speaking directly into Jo’s ear, a clear attempt at seducing her that was failing miserably. She tried desperately to squirm out of his grasp, but he only held her tighter. “I can show you a good time.”

“Hey dick wad, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that the lady doesn’t wanna talk to you,” a gruff voice sounded above Jo, the speaker holding his hand out to help Jo up. She took it with a grateful smile and stood, wiping off her apron while he continued to stare down the table of now terrified boys. “And don’t forget to tip generously.”

Jo watched in amazement as the man went back to his spot at the counter, eyes trained on the newspaper before him. She rounded the diner once more before walking behind the counter to stand in front of the mystery man, refilling his coffee as she eyed him. 

“Thanks for doing that. Those losers can’t take a hint sometimes,” Jo offered her hand to the stranger, a small smile on her face. “I’m Jo, by the way. I’ve never seen you around here before.”

“Alex,” the man shook Jo’s hand, a crooked grin appearing on his stoic face. “I just finished med school last month, I finally have time to eat breakfast and enjoy a Thursday morning.”

Jo’s response was cut off by her boss yelling at her, her hand coming up to wave to Alex before she bolted to the other end of the diner. Her eyes flicked back to him once or twice, always finding him staring back already. The small action left Jo with a near constant blush on her cheeks. 

By the time Jo makes it back around, Alex is gone. His empty coffee cup sits on top of a $20, which she grabs with a grin. A corner of the newspaper rests on top of the bill, neat block printing across it that makes Jo’s cheeks flame once again. 

‘If you get sick of stupid frat boys, give me a call.’

+

“I hate to say it, but you might be better at darts than me,” Alex let out a chuckle and grabbed his beer, taking a long swig from it as he turned back to Jo. “You have nothing better to do than practice your aim?”

After her shift at the diner, Jo had sat in her car and hesitated all of thirty minutes before calling Alex and asking him to meet up with her at the bar down the street from her apartment. Nerves flying all around her, Jo had finally made it down to Red’s Bar and Grill, meeting Alex with a wide grin and the first round of beers on her tab. 

“Mmm I practice between classes and work,” Jo rolled her eyes, throwing another dart and hitting just outside of the bullseye. “I’m about to start my last year of school at UI. Architecture degree, the boring stuff.”

“Hey hey, I don’t judge,” Alex shrugged, eyes glinting with amusement. “I’m sure that doodling buildings is just as thrilling as cutting people open.”

Jo let out a laugh, her eyes roaming appreciatively over Alex for the first time. He wore jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his arms and torso, the dark blue bringing out the flecks of gold in his eyes. The low lighting in the bar didn’t help Jo as she tried to concentrate on anything besides the way Alex looked at her, cheeks flushing as she imagined his hands running over her body. 

“Oh you should see me in class, I’m the only woman in my major so,” Jo blindly threw her final dart at the board, relying on Alex’s shocked expression to tell her that she had hit close to her mark. “Had to find something to beat the boys at, keep their egos at bay.”

Satisfied with the dark look that came over Alex, Jo swigged her beer and took a step towards him, her fingers trailing over the collar of his shirt. She’d held back through the three rounds of beers and the pizza they’d shared, but she couldn’t keep her hands off of him any longer. 

“I don’t wanna be too forward but,” Alex finished his beer with one gulp, one hand moving to rest on Jo’s hip. “You wanna get out of here?” 

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” Jo breathes out, pulling Alex down to kiss her chastely before letting go and walking towards the exit. “Come on, Doctor Handsome. Let’s go.”

+

Two weeks after their first date, Jo is scrambling during the morning rush to touch each of her tables and makes sure they’re all taken care of. It’s just her and her boss Nancy working this morning, so she’s really busting her ass to make sure that she makes good tips. A hand reaches out, swiping her arm delicately and makes Jo sigh in relief. She was so used to the gentle brush against her arm that it felt like second nature at this point.

“Hey you,” Alex’s voice is soft, something that Jo can barely hear above the rush of the crowded restaurant. “Long morning?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe, Katie called out sick so there’s only two of us,” Jo groans as she reaches for the coffee pot to refill Alex’s cup. “I have the next two days off though so I’m just trying to make it through this stupid shift.”

Alex’s hand reaches out and grabs her wrist, holding it for the briefest second before letting her go with a grin. Jo can never seem to control the way her heart beats out of time around the man she just met, but she can’t say she hates the feeling of her heart fluttering nervously. 

“How about we drive to the lake and spend a day or two up there,” Alex shrugs, as if the idea of spending a few days away with Jo is the most natural thing in the world. “Just the two of us. I’ve got some camping gear and a hard top for the pickup. We’ll make a weekend out of it.”

Jo’s eyelashes batted against her cheek, eyes roaming over Alex with a focused stare. They hadn’t labelled whatever it was that they were doing (sleeping together, spending nights stargazing in the back of Alex’s truck, meeting up almost every night to drink cheap wine and order whatever takeout was offering a deal, actually just sleeping together) but spending a few days alone was something entirely different. Spending a few days alone was real. 

“You know what,” Jo laughed, leaning forward to peck Alex’s cheek. “Let’s do it. Let’s get out of this hellish town, god knows we both need it..”

The crooked smile that appears on Alex’s face made Jo’s heart stutter again, the look ingrained in her mind so well that she thought she might be able to paint it from memory. 

+

“I haven’t been up here in years, I didn’t realize how beautiful it was,” Jo stood at the edge of the small cliffside overlooking the water just a few feet down. Alex stood behind her, arms wrapped around her waist and head propped against her shoulder as they both admired the beginnings of the sunset reflecting on the water. “I’m glad we came up here.”

“Me too, I’m glad I get to spend some time with you,” Alex turned Jo around, his hands squeezing her waist as he kissed her gently. “And I’m very sorry about this.”

Before Jo could respond to him, Alex had lifted her off the ground and jumped off the small dirt cliff, plunging them both into the icy water of the lake. When she resurfaced, Alex was already laughing at her shocked expression. 

“You’re gonna pay for that, Karev,” Jo laughed, feet treading water as she swam closer to him. “Oh you’re so gonna pay for that.”

Alex seized the opportunity in front of him, quickly wrapping his arms around Jo and pulling her body flush with his. His lips meet her neck as she tries in vain to squirm away from him, loud peels of laughter escaping Jo as she let herself relax into Alex’s embrace. 

It’s hours later when they’re laying in the back of Alex’s truck, eyes glued to the sky as they lay wrapped up in one another in a pile of blankets and pillows. There’s a discarded wine bottle next to them and the last embers of the fire they’d built are still glowing. It’s peaceful and quiet and Jo doesn’t think she’d ever felt so relaxed in her whole life. 

“The stars look way brighter out here,” Jo noted as she rested her head against Alex’s chest, eyes closing as he ran his fingers through her hair. “I wish I could stay here forever. It’s the perfect spot.”

“Well this truck bed is uncomfortable as hell so I don’t think us living in the woods would be great on your back,” Alex chuckled as Jo’s hand hit his chest with a soft whap. She sat up then, reaching for her overnight bag and digging through it. “What’re you doing?”

“I got you something! It’s not much but,” Jo pulled out an immaculately wrapped box and handed it to Alex with a wide grin. “I figured it might be handy when you become a hot shot doctor.”

Alex cocked an eyebrow at Jo, before unwrapping the box and popping it open. Inside laid a wrist watch, a silver watch face mounted on a thick leather strap. Jo revelled in the crooked grin on Alex’s face as he took it out and handed it to her, silently asking her to latch it onto his wrist.

“It’s vintage, I found it at a thrift store the other day and I couldn’t resist buying it,” Jo gushed as she adjusted the strap against Alex’s wrist. “I read somewhere that most doctors want to keep a watch on because they’re easier to check and more reliable than digital. And it helps with counting seconds an-”

The rest of Jo’s sentence melted away as Alex pressed his lips firmly against hers. Jo couldn’t help the smile that overtook her, a giggle escaping quietly as Alex leaned her back and pressed her into the truck bed.

“Thank you, you’re more than I deserve,” Alex kissed Jo once more before moving his lips to her neck. “Maybe I can show you how much you mean to me.”

“Mmmm that sounds like a fun way to end the night,” Jo giggled as Alex moved his lips further down her body. “A really fun way to end it…” +

Once the thrill of their spontaneous weekend trip wears off, Jo is surprised at how normal her relationship with Alex feels. It’s August now, Alex’s short break between med school and the start of his internship nearing an end. He had applied all over the country, but the county hospital had been the only one to accept him. 

“I didn’t hear back from Hopkins, Mass Gen, Seattle Grace, or UCSF, but they were all long shots anyways,” Alex shrugged, slinging his arm around Jo’s shoulder and bringing her closer to him on the ratty couch in her apartment. The movie they had chosen rattled on in the background, neither of them paying much attention to it. “Besides, staying here means I get to hang out with you all the time.”

Jo leaned into Alex’s embrace, eyes closing as she relished the feeling of his heartbeat pounding steadily in her ears. She’d become so comfortable in spending so much time with Alex that she didn’t know what she would do when he began to work long nights and days at the hospital. Of course, her own classes would begin in two weeks and then who knew where the two would land up. 

“Mmm yeah I don’t think I can let you go even if I tried,” Jo felt Alex’s hand slip into her own, squeezing gently as he kissed her head. “I’m pretty sure I love you.”

Jo didn't register the hitch of Alex’s breathing, she didn't even notice that he was staring at her so intently. She had dozed off in his embrace, head heavy against his chest as he watched her carefully. He only moved when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, stepping into the other room so he wouldn’t wake her. 

“Hello? This is him. Umm yeah, yeah absolutely. I’m definitely interested. I can be there, I will be there… Three days? Yup. Not a problem. Sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Thanks Doctor Webber, it’s been a pleasure. I’ll see you soon.”

+

“I have to take this stupid Calculus class and I can’t drop it and I already hate it,” Jo groaned as she plopped into the seat next to Alex. It was a Tuesday morning and the diner was near empty, allowing Jo a few minutes to breathe easy. “Honestly, I’m not excited to start classes next week. I’ve been absolutely exhausted the past week and I would rather just sleep until graduation.”

Reaching over, Jo grabbed Alex’s toast and took a bite and then returned it to his plate. She looked at him curiously, watching as he stared deep into his coffee cup and didn’t flinch at her quick action. Alex usually swatted her hand away when she stole his food, or at least said something to her. In fact, she didn’t think he had spoken more than a brief hello to her all morning. 

“Are you okay? You seem off today,” Jo rested her hand on Alex’s shoulder, a pang of relief coursing through her as he leaned into her embrace. “What’s up? You stressed about your internship? Because you’re going to do great.”

“No it’s just,” Alex heaved a sigh and turned to Jo, his normally bright eyes a dull brown. He looked sad, upset almost, but Jo couldn’t tell why. “You know I love you, right?”

A brilliant smile took over Jo’s face, a distinct glow coming about her as she leaned her forehead against Alex’s. 

“Of course I do,” Jo pecked Alex’s lips quickly, one hand coming up to rub his cheek. “I love you too. You’re pretty special, you know that?”

Alex responded with a nod, leaning up and kissing Jo once more. She left the seat next to him after that, checking on her tables and refilling coffees before heading back to him. Alex was shrugging his coat on as she walked up, coffee cup drained and bill paid. 

“Heading out?”

“Yeah I got stuff to do,” Alex pulled Jo in close, lips meeting hers in a kiss that was much more passionate than what he’d normally reserve for the diner. He pulled back and stared into Jo’s eyes, a look of longing filling the dark orbs. “I meant what I said. I love you Jo.”

“I love you too,” Jo whispered back, leaning up and kissing Alex once more before patting his chest and stepping away from him. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, I’m working a double today. Bye Alex!”

“Goodbye Jo,” Alex stood a moment longer in the doorway of the diner, watching Jo carefully as she flitted around the dining room. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, stepping out into the cool August breeze. 

+

“Hey pretty girl, where’s your hotshot boyfriend now? Dipped out on you?”

Jo tried as much as she could to tune out the catcalls and insults flowing from the rowdy table of boys behind her. What she would give for Alex to come swooping in to save her like he did that first day they’d met, but she knew that he wouldn’t. She hadn’t seen him in so long, the August weather turning darker and colder as the months shifted to autumn. It was November now and between classes and the diner, Jo barely had a spare moment to think of the man she’d fallen in love with. 

Except that she did. 

Every minute of the day all Jo could think about was Alex and how much she missed him. His phone number had been disconnected, his apartment was cleaned out, and she hadn’t seen his beat up red pickup truck since it was parked outside of the diner the last day she’d seen him. She’d even gone down to the county hospital to look for him, but a nurse had informed her that there wasn’t anyone under his name working there, much to Jo’s dismay. 

She knew she was being stupid, that Alex and her had just had a fleeting summer romance and she needed to let it go. There was not going to be a magical reunion like the beginning of Grease, there would be no singing and there would be no happy ending for Jo. But she couldn’t let Alex go, she didn’t think she would ever be able to.

“You need to calm down, I know there’s a lot going on, but you are not helping me out,” Jo sighed, eyes closing as she took a moment to press a hand to her protruding stomach. “I know you get excited when we’re here but today… I can’t deal with the constant kicking of my bladder little boy.”

You know when you’re already down and out and then something comes along and just knocks you flat on your ass? That’s exactly what Jo was experiencing. After spending two weeks straight crying over Alex and insurance commercials and the grocery store being out of strawberry ice cream, she’d finally realized that her period was late and that she just might be carrying the child of a man who didn’t want to be found by her. Three stupid plastic tests later confirmed just what Jo had thought: Come April of next year, she would be a mom. 

“We’ll get through today and all the days coming,” Jo sighed as she spoke to herself, a few tears slipping out and dragging down her cheeks. “It’ll all be okay, things will change for us.”

[act-addict-actors-matchups]

@navi-chan said,

(♡1♡) Hello ˃ᴗ˂ I wanna know who I match up with in A3 Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ I'm a Virgo and IFJT girl living her life at the moment. I know and think things that are apparently weird (idk why) that makes my friends question on what I do when I'm alone (✿◠‿◠). I'm exactly 5 ft for now (still growing), wavy shoulder-length black hair and I have a fair skin tone cuz I don't like the sun too much XD. I love and enjoy to draw and read stories and articles that captivates my interest.

(♡2♡) I like to travel cuz I want to know the place and it's culture especially its art. I also like to sleep cuz whenever I'm alone and have nothing to do I would feel lonely that is why I tend to sleep the loneliness away. And, I love-hate cuddles (don't attack me pls ( ˃̵⌓˂̵)). LOVE cuz I would feel sense of comfort with the person. HATE cuz I feel like the person might disappear or will leave me behind and I would feel lonely again. Well, that's all (❁´▽`❁)

✧ Tumblr is not letting me tag you. 😔 I hope you’ll see this. Honestly, I really wanted to match you with Azuma but ‘I’m still growing part’ made me feel like you’re a minor so I couldn’t. I can be wrong though lol. Sorry for taking so long and thank you for requesting a matchup, love. 💞✨

I’d match you with: . . .

➜ HOW YOU TWO FIRST MET ; It was a hot summer day and for some reason you’ve made it into your personal mission to do random acts of kindness for the people who were a total stranger to you. So far, you’ve helped old people cross the street, helped someone load their groceries and left a copy of that days’s newspaper on your neighbor’s doorstep. You had to admit, it was a productive day and it wasn’t even midday yet! With your accomplishments for the day, you decided to treat yourself something cold, like ice cream or soda. Just the thought itself made you smile. With a nod of your head, you began walking towards the area that had the shops in it. While walking, you caught a glimpse of a boy in front of vending machine, sulking. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt with black and white patterns on it and a black shalwar like leggings. Ah, you knew what the problem was. The vending machines in this area were famous for eating the coins of people. You were a victim of them yourself many, many times. But with some brain power, you managed to come up with a single move that can get the snack or drink you’ve wanted. You were already on a kindness roll so you might as well help another person out. With a smile on your face, you cleared your throat and shot the boy a knowing look. “Allow me.” You have said before hitting a specific spot with your hip and bam! one of the sodas has dropped. Sticking your arm in, you grabbed the cold beverage and tossed it to the boy, who was looking at you with shining eyes. “Eh!? That was so cool! Teach me how to do it!” A giggle escaped from your lips at how enthusiastic he was being. You could basically see a tail behind him, wagging with anticipation. With a small shake of your head, you flashed a knowing grin as you took a coin out of your pocket and popped it into the machine, pressing the numbers of the drink you’ve wanted. You were planning on buying something cold anyway and this was more convenient for you too. And just as you thought, even though the vending machine took your money, it didn’t give you the drink. You hit the machine one more time and grabbed your drink after it fell down. You popped open the can and took a sip, turning your attention to the red head afterwards, you began to explain how hitting that exact spot was important and if he messed it up even just a little, the money would go to waste. With every word left your mouth, he nodded with serious eyes. After you were done, you took another coin and basically sacrificed it. “Alrighty, it’s now your turn. Give it your best shot!” You said before stepping aside and giving the boy a thumbs up. “Yes, ma’am.” He said before hitting the machine and successfully making the can of soda fall. His bright blue eyes lit up as he throw his fist up. “Hey, I did it! I really did it!” “Haha, congratulations. Make sure to use that power for good.” “You can count on me!” After that exchange you two grabbed your cans of sodas and sat on a nearby bench. He told you that his name was Taichi Nanao, he was a student at Ouka High School and an actor at Mankai Company. After that, you introduced yourself and you two just chatted about whatever came to mind until it was around three pm. Taichi was first to leave since he had practice with Autumn Troupe around an hour later but he didn’t leave without getting your phone number, which you happily gave without much thought.

➜ PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY ; Taichi is like a puppy, often noisy and upbeat so there is never a dull moment when you two are together. Don’t ever worry about him leaving you behind because he is so whipped for you. In fact, I feel like you both might fear that whole ‘my significant other is to good for me what if they leave me all of a sudden?’ more than necessary. Yes, I said both of you because let’s not forget that under that positive attitude of his, Taichi actually has very low self esteem. What I’m trying to say is words of affirmation and physical touch is your canon love languages, although the later happened less in your earlier stage of relationship. IFJT people are often perfectionists with extremely high standards of performance for themselves so whenever you’re too harsh on yourself having a chill & silly boyfriend would calm you down or whenever he needs to get serious about something (ex. schoolwork because let’s face it, he’s the type of person who does his homework at the very last moment be it on the breakfast table or while the teacher is collecting them) you’re there making sure he’s not destroying his future academically. Those are just basic examples but in short, you two just balance each other out very nicely. Please just marry each other. 🥺

➜ SHARED ACTIVITIES ; Since apparently you do things that are considered weird, now you have a partner by your side to do those things. I feel like the both of you would totally be up to having intense conversations with pets, rating total strangers out of ten or texting each other weird things even though you're in the same room. If not, I can see you two going to a convenience store, buying the magazines that catches your eyes, sitting back to back or with him laying down on his back and you on top of him, making a + form and reading articles until one of you gets bored. If you’ve seen Taichi’s doodle he made in the notebook, you’d know that the boy is at the very least decent at drawing, so even though he might get bored quickly, he would do his best to draw with you. Since you don’t like the sun very much, if he wants to go outside with you he’d wait until late afternoon-evening. When it comes to outdoor dates the first thing came to my mind was amusement park date. Can you imagine how fun it would be to go on the rides with him??? I headcanon that Taichi loves rollercoasters so you bet he’s gonna beg your to go with him. If you freak out, he lets out a laugh and you feel his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you back against him, his other hand is stretched up to the sky.

➜ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY ; Taichi’s birthday is on October 11 which makes him a Libra. Considering that Libra and Virgo are zodiac neighbours, it goes without saying that the two will be compatible. While Libra is an air sign, and Virgo is an earth sign, the two are as disconnected as they are connected. Virgo is duty-bound and nurturing. While Libra is also a sign that will do what needs to be done, their priority will be more on the reality than the idealistic acts. When Virgo and Libra join together in a love match, it can be like puting two puzzle pieces together. Each locks into the other and sits comfortably in place. Both Signs seek security in partnership, and they share a love of beauty and culture. They can work together efficiently and smoothly because they desire similar rewards. The Virgo-Libra relationship may trickle along in the beginning, but it will rev up once both partners grow to respect one another. Just like any other pairing, this pairing has its own set of pros and cons. Both these personality types have a tendency to be very similar to each other. As such, the suggestion would always be to give this relationship a shot. However, another advice would be to keep your eyes open. While loyalty is the way for both these signs, triggers for a change of duty may be something as simple as their partner not putting the toilet seat down. All the best!

[jaqfms]

there's     jacques    ‘jaq’    daingerfield   !     though     on    their     socials     they     go     by     @thedangerousq     .     i     heard     he     is     originally     from     paris     ,     france     ,     but     made     the     big     move     to     los     angeles     to     join     TWENTIES     .     you     haven't     heard     about     it     ?   well     ,     apparently     their     dream     is     to     design     his     own     video     game   ,     but     they     have     no     chance   unless     they     quit     being     so     cocky     &     lazy     .     that     said     ,     those     behind     the     scenes     have     said     they     can     be     witty     &     charismatic     too.     guess     we'll     have     to     watch     and     find     out     !     ━     &    laughing     until     you     cry     ,          a     cartoon     theme     song     paired     with     a     hip     hop     beat     ,     a     juul     behind     your     ear     ,     vines     quoted     in     a     thick     french     accent     .    (     timothee     chalamet     ,     cis male     ,     he/him     )   (     pepper    ,     she/her + they/them     ,     est     ,     twenty four     )

ABOUT THE MUN.  are ya in a relationship? you think i can convince someone to do that?

hello, it’s me again. i tired myself out with haisley’s so jaq’s if going to be considerably shorter. let’s go. 

BIO.  aaaahhhhhhhhhh shhiiittttt *begins understanding things*

jacques daingerfield was born in france to two very average parents. like his mother was a teacher and his father was a financial analyst. nothing wild or crazy going on there, and to top it off he was the middle child, and well, you can tell. 

he has four siblings. he was the third kid, and well, he spent most of his childhood fighting for any kind of attention, usually by making inappropriate little jokes or you know, fart noises. yes his parents were generally exasperated with him, but that behavior made sure they paid attention to him. and honestly that was all jacques wanted. 

again, jacques had a pretty average upbringing. he went to school, he was actually pretty popular among his peers despite being so annoying (definitely very unpopular amongst his teachers for generally that class clown that sat in the back and always interrupted), and he excelled academically without really trying too much. well, in every subject but english funnily enough. jaq always struggled in english, which is why it was incredibly ironic that when his parents separated they decided to move to uk with his father. jacques was ten at the time, and he still doesn’t understand the decision.

so yes, jacques was the kid in class with the weird name and weirder accent who could barely communicate with his classmates. it didn’t take long for them to stop really trying to pronounce ‘jacques’ properly. jacques became jack without much input on his part, and by the time jacques had got enough of a handle on the english language to correct them the americanized name had already stuck. even at nine jacques was smart enough to know that insisting on the correct french pronunciation of his name just kind of made him sound like a pretentious french asshole, so instead he spun it. he embraced it. started signing all of his papers and assignments with ‘jaq’ with a q like it was his brand or something. even as a child jaq will give himself credit for being clever af. 

it actually worked pretty well honestly. the older jaq got the more he grew into himself, and the more comfortable he got with the english language. honestly a lot of how jaq learned english was through video games and youtube videos and cartoons, like those were some of his go to resources. spent a lot of time playing games with strangers and tested his english out with colourful trash talk. actually started his first ever youtube channel was basically that as just a way to practice his english a bit. all he did on there was play video games, and honesty he didn’t even show his face. the channel wasn’t that popular, but he had fun making it. 

jaq on the other hand had gained popularity by the time he was in middle school. granted, that popularity was mostly due to the fact that he had a popular older brother and sister, was french and therefore ‘cute’ (jaq didn’t pretend to understand how girls brains worked then, and he still doesn’t now) and his family always had the newest gaming system at their household, and even then it wasn’t wild popularity. but it was enough that barely anyone teased him for his thick french accent anymore, and yk what jaq would take it. he weirdly got even more popular with the guys in his grade when they found out about his youtube channel. they found it funny, and they would generally watch his videos and come tell him about their favourite parts later, ask him about how he got past a certain level or learned a certain cheat. jaq soaked up their admiration like a sponge, right into his ego. they were the beginning of jaq getting the big head he proudly sports today. 

that said for most second form jaq’s youtube channel was just a hobby. something he did for fun. like i said earlier, jaq actually did really well in school and his parents always expected him to follow in his father’s footsteps and go into something in business. after all, it would be an easy transition with both french and english under his belt. they knew he would excel. 

but then he met madi. and somehow the two started doing videos together for fun, and it quickly expanded into something a lot bigger. something that jaq wouldn’t have even dreamed of doing before. suddenly the picture perfect future he had planned for himself just seemed boring in comparison to what he and madi had going on, and so jaq easily picked that instead. his parents weren’t all that happy about it, of course, after all jaq had full scholarships to some schools just waiting for him to accept and he ignored all of them in favour of making videos of him playing games online. they still don’t understand, but jaq doesn’t really need them too. he’s happy with what he’s doing and he figures he can always go into business when he’s old and boring. 

he moved out of his parents house straight into an apartment with madi when things between them started getting really tough. they can’t really speak without the whole ‘we’re so disappointed in you’ conversation coming up so jaq doesn’t really speak to them unless he has to. both of his older siblings went into business like their parents wanted, and his younger siblings are on the same path. his little sister wants to be just like him though, and that warms his heart tbh. 

has come to TWENTIES to have a good time! wants to break into the acting industry like dylan o’brien and maybe show his parents that a ‘real’ career can come from something like this. his parents begged him not to come on this show and embarrass them so that is definitely what he’s about to do. 

HEADCANNONS. there are a lot of people who need to shut up.  not me though 

thinks he’s funny! sometimes he is

will answer to jacques, jaq, jaqi, or q! you can call him daingerfield if you want but not many people do

fun fact, made his instagram handle as a joke, much like awkwafina. was just supposed to a little dig about how many times he has to say ‘jack with a q’ whenever someone spells his name. but now the dangerous q is his brand, and just finds it really dumb and funny. 

a bit of a kleptomaniac. will swipe something he thinks is cool mostly just to do it. has very little impulse control. loves to pull pranks and generally make trouble, but not in a way that will ever actually hurt anybody because he’s not a whole idiot. not the biggest fan of cops. 

is an artist. will spray paint your walls and probably has spray painted the walls of his apartment. will doodle weird things all over napkins or receipts or whatever he can get his hands on. has drawn out little video game characters he wants to be in his future games, and actually is considering going to school for a video game programming degree just for that. the funny thing is with his grades he could probably do it. is teaching himself coding in the mean time. 

 the type of person to start drumming on the counter or desk with his hands or like pencils or pens when he’s bored. will make up fun little raps on the spot. 

incredibly intelligent but doesn’t like to talk about it. would much rather act dumb than act like he has any braincells. he doesn’t want to give anyone expectations. 

all the youtube success has definitely gone to his head in the way that?? he just thinks they’re untouchable like he cannot compute the concept of their channel failing or their future endeavors failing. definitely thinks that TWENTIES will lead to much bigger things for them. will walk into his future acting auditions like he’s the shit. 

an introvert with extrovert tendencies. needs to be by himself to chill out and recharge but can like work a room honestly. can make friends pretty much everywhere he goes. a bit of a charmer when he wants to be. 

a smoker unfortunately. also a bit of a stoner. definitely has a juul on him at all times, like i said he tends to keep it behind his ear and then be like ???? where’s my juul. 

needs glasses but refuses to wear them. is very stubborn about it tbh. does not want to get contacts because he hates the idea of putting something into his eye. so you can catch him squinting sometimes like a fool. 

one of the first things he treated himself to with his first big youtube check like outside of rent was a tattoo! it’s on his ribs and it’s just a drawing he did himself but he loves it and it was the start of an addiction. he has about five. also has a few helix and orbital piercings on his left ear. 

another muse of mine with a tiktok, but jaq just uses his to make music for the most part. will turn the mickey mouse club house theme song into bars! (if you’ve seen that tiktok,,,, ily) 

a big nerd. reads comic books. watches anime. will get very reasonably upset about the avatar the last airbender movie whenever it’s brought up.

can cook really well, but whenever he does it it’s pure chaos. like julian/brad leone in the kitchen for sure. but the food comes out tasting really good, so???

is jewish af. knows a bit of hebrew and a bit of yiddish because of his grandparents mostly. is kind of ??? a lot more lenient with things now that he’s not around his parents as often i’m ngl. 

brings his ds everywhere and you can literally catch him on the bus vaping and playing animal crossing because he hasn’t bothered to get a american license yet 

is always willing to take a picture with a subscribers and they’re always the weirdest thing. there are pictures of subscribers like pretending to stab him in the eye. prom pose pictures with subscribers. the weirder the better tbh

has gone to vidcon a few years in a row, always has the wildest time. there is video footage of him waking up in some strangers bathtub with a feather boa around his neck. it’s probably on instagram. 

is also bi af. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.  very proud to announce that i am officially a lost cause! 

BEST FRIENDS.

A BROMANCE. 

FWB/EWB.

EXES. 

FANS OF HIS YOUTUBE VIDEOS. 

and here’s his wanted tag, i forgot to do the same for haisley so here is her wanted tag. 

and many more, y’all this took so long and i’m so tired but like this and i will slide into your dms for plots!

[sloshi]

Sasusaku Fanfic - Prologue

Title: Captain!

Pairing: Sasusaku

Summary: Passing lewd notes in class is all fun and games—that is, until it smacks a certain baseball captain upside the head. Japan!highschool AU [will be Slow burn / eventual smut]

Read Chapter 1 preview here

Prologue

“—recognizes the cell as the basic unit of life, genes as the basic unit of heredity, and evolution as the engine that propels the creation and extinction of species. Living organisms—“

Sakura blinks heavily, tuning out her teacher’s lecture with shameful ease. With her chin resting sleepily in her hand, she glances at the clock above the chalkboard, nearly rolling her eyes in dread when she sees that the minute hand hasn’t moved nearly an inch since the last she checked. Which was like an hour ago.

(Okay, so maybe it was like a minute ago, but seriously, come on.)

She drums her fingernails impatiently against the wooden desktop, blatantly ignoring the glare from the guy next to her, who’s shooting laser beams with his eyes at her tapping fingers, annoyed.

Green eyes trail lazily back to Kakashi-Sensei, a teacher she’s almost positive has a porn-addiction if the orange book that is always sticking out of his back pocket is any indication. Sakura scrunches her nose in disgust—It’s no wonder he’s teaching Biology. A shudder runs down her spine.

She debates whether or not she should sneak a nap. There’s still twenty minutes left of class, and honestly? She knows this stuff already. She’s read the textbook—all three-hundred and twenty pages of it, and Sakura is more than ready for the test this Friday. Maybe she’s an overachiever (an over-doer, if you will), but if she’s going to be a doctor one day, she has to be. There’s no half-saving someone’s life.

At least she doesn’t have to worry about falling behind, unlike her best friend who wouldn’t be a senior right now without her. She snickers to herself, remembering all the notes she had slapped onto Ino’s minty-blue bedspread two nights before the final exams last year.

‘You mean, I have to read all of these?!’ She had screeched, her face nearly purple with terror.

Sakura clapped a simple hand on her shoulder, smiling, unabashedly relishing in her misery. Maybe next time, Ino will actually study instead of poking fun at Sakura’s notes all the time now that she sees how much work she puts into them. You live and you learn, Ino-pig. ‘Yup!’

(Speaking of notes.)

Glancing down at her spiral notebook, her bubbly scrawl of handwriting takes up only half the page since she had abandoned writing about fifteen minutes ago. Pursing her lips, she stops drumming her fingers (she swears the guy next to her moans in relief.) and picks up her pen, drawing nonchalantly in the empty space. Mindlessly scribbling little spirals along the faint blue lines, she pauses when she suddenly finds herself doodling a familiar name.

Sasuke.

Baseball captain. Brilliant. Top-of-the-class. Perfect lean body. Tall, dark and handsome—you know, everything that shouldn’t be possible for one man be all at once. (It’s so unfair because nobody should be that perfect. Seriously.)

Despite his obnoxiously shining qualities, he’s quiet for the most part. Keeps to himself like he’s a secret. Or maybe he killed someone—it’s not like she’d ever know, since she the only stuff she knows about Sasuke is purely by rumor. They just happen to float her way, and honestly, it’s a little hard to ignore gossip that involves the baseball captain of KHS. Everyone knows him. Loves him, actually.

Okay, so maybe only the female population loves him. The males, however, are a different story—but they’re just jealous sore losers if you ask her. It’s not like Sasuke asked to be born that freaking attractive.

She’s also heard on several occasions that he’s actually antisocial—withdrawn to a point. He doesn’t attend activities outside of school, other than baseball, and he’s never seen at mixers or parties. In fact, the only person he’s really ever seen with outside of school is the catcher of the baseball team; Naruto Uzumaki. A blonde knucklehead of a guy she’s seen, heard of, but never spoken to.

(And even though Sasuke and Naruto were rumored to be gay, Sakura secretly hoped Sasuke was at least Bi.)

You’d think a guy like him would embrace his genes and take advantage of every opportunity he gets, considering the way he can literally make a whole room swoon just by entering.

But as far as she knows—or anyone knows—he’s never had a girlfriend. (Or boyfriend.)

Too bad it only serves to make him more interesting, if half the crooning girls of the school are anything to go by. Sakura likes him too, but she’s not screaming across the baseball field, clinging to the chain-link fence like a wild animal, asking to have his babies in the middle of his pitch. (True story. She was there. The girl was escorted off campus.)

After punctuating the last letter of his name with a little heart, she sighs wistfully and looks up, green eyes following the incline of desk rows downward where the very man himself sits at the edge of his row, diagonal from her perspective, whose quick hands are working away at his notebook diligently.

He’s as handsome as ever, she sighs to herself, as she studies the side profile of his perfectly unblemished face (he probably doesn’t even try!) His sharp raven bangs fall sinfully over equally dark eyes that are slightly narrowed in concentration as he writes languidly, following Kakashi-sensei’s lecture with ease. Sasuke pauses every once in a while to look up at their teacher, nodding curtly in understanding at whatever the silver-haired man is saying, as if he’s genuinely intrigued by the lecture, before returning back to his notes.

Sakura blinks in surprise, however, when Ino—who somehow managed an assigned seat next to the Uchiha, the conniving pig—turns her platinum blond head in her direction. Baby blue eyes squint mischievously, accompanied by a smirk that Sakura has learned to detest over the many years of their friendship, when her eyes flicker to Sasuke and back to Sakura. A smirk like that from Ino is nothing short of dangerous.

What, Sakura mouths impatiently.

Slender blonde eyebrows waggle suggestively and Sakura glares pointedly as if to say: Whatever you’re thinking about doing, Pig, don’t even try it.

Ino’s smirk only grows more wicked, eyes twinkling impishly when she swiftly turns back around and begins to scribble something in her notebook. Eyes narrowing in suspicion, she studies the back of her best friend’s head with a frown.

Slowly, reluctantly, Sakura returns to her own notebook, picking up where she left off, but she’s only added a few more little hearts around Sasuke’s name before something light and airy smacks her forehead and bounces off to land directly upon her notebook.

What the—

She snaps her head up, eyes immediately finding Ino’s platinum ponytail. Despite not being able to see it, Sakura sends her a dark scowl and inwardly curses. Passing notes in class is a huge no-no; it’s an instant detention and maybe Ino doesn’t care about her perfect, unblemished  school record but Sakura does ThankYouVeryMuch.

If she gets in trouble, Ino is so dead.

With a petulant huff, she finally looks down at the offending object. A crumpled ball of paper sits innocently upon Sasuke’s scribbled name. Kakashi-Sensei has long since turned his back to the class, his ever-boring monotone voice a mere drawl in the background as he jots something on the chalkboard, completely oblivious to the paper note that has soared half way across the classroom.

Sakura makes a face at Ino’s back one last time before she gingerly opens the wad of paper before her, almost afraid of what she’ll see. Maybe it’s a picture, she thinks. The paper crinkles a little loudly, and naturally, she flinches, but somehow luck is on her side—Kakashi-Sensei’s back is still turned. Sighing in relief, she quickly reads Ino’s sloppy note.

Don’t think I don’t see you eyeing Sasuke-kun, forehead girl. If you want his dick that bad, you could always just ask... too bad you’re such a prude. And you might wanna wipe that drool off your chin, although I suppose Sasuke-kun could lick it off for you. How bout it, Sakura?

A cute little smiley face punctuates the end of the sentence and it takes every ounce of control in Sakura’s body not to openly gape. Turning seven shades of red, she jerks her head to send the deadliest glare she can manage at her best friend, only for her simmering anger to amplify when she finds Ino smiling back at her, a hand over her mouth stifling laughter. (That witch!) Flustered, Sakura grinds her teeth together and snatches her pen, eager to put the pig in her place.

You’re disgusting. Sakura scribbles angrily, but then stops abruptly as an idea sprouts in her head. Two can play at this game, she whispers sourly to herself. Sakura will be damned if Ino thinks she can embarrass and tease her without getting a taste of her own medicine.

Oh, I’ll show her ‘prude’.

Smirking and feeling quite proud of herself, she promptly erases her first two words and begins to rewrite.

Lick it off? Oh, pig. I’d let Sasuke-kun do more than just that. I bet you think you did something there, huh? You’re a real comedian. And speaking of prude, I’ve never seen you with a guy either. Why don’t you ask him out yourself? Hypocrite.

P.S. if Kakashi-Sensei catches this note, I’ll personally kill you.

Satisfied, Sakura draws a tiny passive-aggressive heart, crumbles the paper back into a wad and waits until Kakashi-Sensei turns around again. The second his back is turned, she hurls it through the air where it bounces against Ino’s shoulder and onto the floor. She hastily bends over to pick it up, skims it over, and throws Sakura an offended look over her shoulder.

Cha! Take that, Ino-pig!

Sakura childishly sticks out her tongue, inwardly pumping a fist in triumph. Ino can make fun of her all she wants, but at the end of the day, she’s really not one to talk. She’s never seen her best friend advance on a guy, and the fact that she’s hounding her for not busting a move on Sasuke Uchiha—the freaking baseball captain, of all people—is laughably ridiculous. Sure, she’s liked him for three years. But who hasn’t. It was a harmless, silly crush; something she’s never expected to grow into anything other than just that. He’s so far out of her league it’s almost embarrassing. They’ve never even spoken before, least of all looked at each other. She’s pretty sure he doesn’t even know she exists—at least, he pretends not to.

Sakura remembers all too clearly the day she once tried (with all the courage her hopeful heart could muster) to say hi to him. They had been the first ones to arrive in the classroom one morning, leaving them completely alone with each other. He had already been seated at his desk, writing something in his notes, clearly absorbed—oblivious to her entrance. Her palms had been so sweaty it was a wonder how she even held onto her notebooks.

“Good morning, S-Sasuke-kun.” She had greeted cheerfully (nervously), a one-thousand-watt smile lighting her face like a Christmas tree. Heart thundering, she clenched her notebooks to her chest, face blossoming as pink as her hair as she waited for him to acknowledge her as she casually passed him by.

He hadn’t even looked up. (That jerk!) But when she had settled into her desk, deflated and deeply humiliated that she had been disregarded so easily, so rudely, it was only then that she had noticed the earbuds in his ears. Her chest flooded with relief. He probably hadn’t even heard her.

Maybe next time, he’ll notice me.

But there had never been a next time. Sighing heavily at the memory, she is ripped from her thoughts when a crinkled ball of paper plops onto her notebook again. Sakura takes in a deep breath, not even bothering to look over at Ino—who, Sakura would bet a million dollars, was smirking with glee. She unfurls the note as quietly as she can manage.

Yeah, I bet you would love for him to do more than that, wouldn’t you. And I may not have ever been with a guy, but at least I’ve been kissed. What’s it like, daydreaming about Sasuke-kun’s wet, sloppy kisses? You’ve liked him for like, three years now, Sakura. Get a fucking move on, already. The suspense is killing me. Wrap your cute little ass in a bow and slip him your virginity.

P.S. Kakashi-Sensei can suck my dick.

Eyes nearly popping out of her skull at that last sentence, Sakura hunches forward protectively when the guy next to her scowls in disgust, as if he read the note himself over her shoulder. Arms still shielding the crinkled paper from unwanted eyes, Sakura chances a look at Kakashi-Sensei before she furiously writes back.

For gods’ sake! What if Kakashi-Sensei catches this note by accident! Also I definitely do not daydream about his kisses. Okay, maybe just a little . . . But don’t you dare bring up my virginity, pig. I bet Sasuke-kun doesn’t even know my name—

“—Sakura?”

She nearly jumps out of her seat, startled like a child caught with an arm halfway in the cookie jar.

“M-Mitosis!” She blurts without thinking, only to shrink in mortification when the rest of the class explodes in  peals of laughter.

Kakashi-sensei quirks a single visible eyebrow in what she assumes is surprise (nobody can really tell what kind of expressions he makes under that weird medical mask and eyepatch anyway.)

Sakura feels forty pairs of eyes on her back, and every head in the front two rows have turned, craning their necks to see the face of the unlucky person who has just embarrassed themselves.

Including Sasuke.

Over his shoulder, he looks right at her; expression as blank as a sheet of paper. She stares right back at him, blinking in astonishment, because it’s the first time they’ve ever made eye contact. And it’s so intense—piercing, even. Like two black holes sucking her in and crushing the oxygen from her lungs with their devastating gravity. Butterflies flap wildly against the walls of her stomach; she thinks she might hurl her breakfast across the room.

When his dark brows furrow marginally (she needs a magnifying glass to be sure) in confusion, her breath hitches violently, and suddenly she feels as naked as a mole rat. Heart stuttering, chest heaving, face flooding with heat, Sakura quickly tries to calm down.

Well if he didn’t notice me before, he definitely notices me now!

“Sakura?” Kakashi-sensei’s usual monotone voice is now laced with concern. She snaps her gaze back to the teacher, mumbling a quick apology before lowering her eyes in shame. The silver-haired man studies her for another moment, as if he’s hesitating whether to ask if she’s alright (as if he’s questioning her sanity), but resumes his lecture after a quiet murmur of ‘Pay attention next time.’

It occurs to her immediately what Sasuke’s first impression of her must be now. She’s just made a complete idiot out of herself in front of the whole class. All because of . . .

Sakura narrows her eyes into dangerous slits, shifting to glare at a certain blonde pig. But she’s not facing Sakura. No. She’s staring straight ahead at the chalkboard, a little too casually to be genuine, twirling a strand of her blonde ponytail nonchalantly. ‘Don’t look at me, I didn’t do anything.’ Ino’s body language says.

Sakura’s fists clench on the table top. She’s positive a deadly miasma is radiating off her at this point, because the guy next to her scoots a few inches away.

“S-Scary . . . “ she thinks she hears him whisper.

Snatching her pen, she scowls down at the crinkled note as if her very eyes could set the paper on fire, before erasing the last sentence she wrote and picking up where she left off.

—are you happy now, pig? Are you? Because you’ve just totally ruined everything with this stupid note. Sasuke-kun probably thinks I’m a dumbass, now. No thanks to you. There goes my chance.

P.S. don’t talk to me for the rest of my life. I hate you.

With that, she balls up the wad of paper with more force than necessary and, as Kakashi-sensei turns back to the chalkboard, she chucks it with all her might across the room, watching with pure satisfaction as it soars downward like a projectile missile—

—only for it to violently smack the head of a very raven-haired baseball captain.

Sakura claps a palm over her gaping mouth to stifle her petrified shriek of terror.

(Oh gods! Oh fuck! No way—!)

She sinks down into her seat immediately, as low as she can physically go, eyes wider than the moon in absolute horror. (Oh gods. Holy shit. No, no, no, no! God, please don’t pick it up—please, please, please—)

Sasuke whips his head behind him, obsidian eyes slit with anger, searching murderously for the culprit as he rubs the side of his head where he was just unforgivably assaulted. Sakura keeps her eyes trained on the notebook before her, nostrils flaring and swallowing roughly against the lump in her throat. Trying to remember everything that was written in the note, she cringes fiercely, her whole body shaking with trepidation. She thinks she might be sick.

‘And you might wanna wipe that drool off your chin, although I suppose Sasuke-kun could lick it off for you.’

‘Lick it off? Oh, pig. I’d let Sasuke-kun do more than just that.’

‘What’s it like, daydreaming about Sasuke-kun’s wet, sloppy kisses? You’ve liked him for like, three years now, Sakura. . . Wrap your cute little ass in a bow and slip him your virginity.’

‘And I definitely do not daydream about his kisses. Okay, maybe just a little . . . ‘

Attempting to swallow again, she gathers the courage to sneak a peek at her impending doom, only for her heart to plummet into her stomach when she sees him finally bend over and pick up the offending wad of paper on the floor by his feet.

Sakura squeezes her eyes shut, bringing a hand to her face in utter mortification, but not before catching the terrified look on Ino’s face as she realizes what has just happened.

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip painfully. There’s no coming back from this. Nope. She can’t even open her eyes. Oh, gods. The sound of light crinkling paper has her sinking even further in her seat. If only the floor could swallow her up.

A few tense seconds tick by, but she’s still too afraid to open her eyes. She knows (she knows) he is reading it. He’s reading it right now.

Goodbye, cruel world. It was fun while it was lasted.

Cracking an eye open, a new tidal wave of humiliation washes over her when she physically sees the note unfurled in his hands. Nope. Mm-mm. This is so not happening. She crosses her arms over the desk and buries her head in the nook of her forearms, wishing and praying and hoping to all the gods that are listening that Sasuke doesn’t hate her. Because, surely, after reading a note like that, he will be so disgusted by her that just looking at her pink head will make him hurl. She probably sounded like such a creep!

Tears prickle her eyes. She never should have entertained Ino’s stupid antics. She should have known.

(You live and you learn.)

Exhaling a shuddering breath, Sakura finally lifts her head up, only to startle forcibly when bottomless black eyes lock with hers.

He’s staring at her shamelessly over his broad shoulder, eyes peeking through his dark fringe, the incriminating note still open in his hands in all its wanton glory. Her lips tremble and she’s positive she looks like a deer caught in headlights.

The bell rings suddenly, ripping through the air and shattering the moment instantaneously. (Oh thank god!) Sakura jumps out of her seat faster than lightning, scraping her notebook into her book bag and slinging it over her shoulder so quickly she almost smacks the guy next to her across the face with it. Kakashi-sensei is announcing something as everyone is gathering their things, but right now she really doesn’t care. Galloping down the stairs between the rows of desks, bumping shoulders with people she doesn’t bother apologizing to, she books it—runs like hell to the door and into the hallway (sweet, sweet freedom) before even Ino can catch up with her. She doesn’t look back.

And she doesn’t see the pair of onyx eyes that follow her out the door.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thoughts? I have around 10k words into this story right now, and I am curious if it peaks anyone’s interest :P ciao!

[hyunsracha]

home — seo changbin

word count: 2.8k

summary: you hated everything about your school. even the stupid galas your best friend forced you to go to.

You hated your school.

You hated the long, winding hallways that led to dull, lifeless classrooms. You hated the grey courtyard, meant to give students a place to be free, but only made you feel more trapped.

More importantly, you hated the people. The teachers, people who didn’t care and only wanted you to pass so you could get out of their face.

And the students. Greedy, monstrous little demons who hold each other’s secrets like playing cards, ready to whip them out and ruin each other’s lives at any given moment.

You could only stand two people at your school, and one of them graduated last year. His name was Bang Chan, and he took you under your wing when you were a freshman, guiding you through the halls in a way that kept the hardwood floors from eating you alive.

And you did the same to Lee Felix the next year. He was a new freshman, and his shaking doe eyes made your heart cry. So you took him under your wing, showing him where to go and where not to go.

Chan made you tough, teaching you to stand up for yourself against the assholes on campus.

Felix made you soft, teaching you compassion and empathy for those other than yourself.

They meant everything to you, and you couldn’t really be bothered to deal with anyone else.

But now Chan was gone, and you were a senior, and Felix was a junior.

You always thought that your grim perspective would tear Felix apart, but two years later, he still glows like the sun.

Even when the two of you are sitting in the basement of the school, a cigarette between your lips as you doodle on your math homework.

“Y/N….are you even listening to me?” Felix whined, his brown eyes somehow still sparking under the shitty yellow lamp lighting.

“No, you know that.” You pulled the cigarette from your lips’ hold, exhaling smoke and raising your eyebrow at your friend.

“I was talking about the gala. They’re doing a super cheesy theme this year: Paris. Fun, right?”

You gagged, “Of course they would do something like that. Sounds awful.”

“But Y/N!,” Felix pouted, “We have to go! We go every year. And it’s my last year with you…”

“D-Don’t give me those eyes...Felix! Fine.” You sighed. Damn Felix and his stupidly pretty eyes.

You checked the time on your phone, a soft curse leaving your lips as you put out your cigarette. You were going to be late, and art was the only class you cared about.

You loved your art class. Your teacher didn’t really care what you drew, exclaiming that, “art is everything! Even your breath is art!” And you liked drawing; it was quite soothing. Plus, the teacher loved you and said that you works were “inspired,” so the ego boost is much appreciated.

You were feeling tired today, so your drawing was simple. Just made of pencil, you drew a bedroom scene. Of course, the bedroom was much nicer than your actual one at your house, and you would much rather be in your art’s room. You sketched a bed, big and warm. You sketched a nightstand, paintings on the walls, a dresser, etc.

Your teacher stood by your side, draping a comforting arm over your shoulders, “Missing home?”

Home. A funny little word. This bedroom you drew wasn’t home, and neither was your bedroom where you lived. You didn’t really have a home.

“Yeah. Just tired today.”

—

Felix was part of Anime Club. He had Anime Club every Tuesday and Thursday, so you spent Tuesday and Thursday afternoons sitting in the back of the classroom the Anime Club kids used, getting a quick power nap. Then you two would walk home together, the sounds of your shoes clacking against the hardwood floors making you even more tired.

“What are you gonna wear to the gala?” Felix asked, the faraway look in his eyes signaling his excitement.

“I dunno...clothes, I guess.”

“Nice clothes, Y/N.”

“Fine. Nice clothes, I guess.”

Felix lived three streets away from you, which you thought was weird because you had never seen him before he was a freshman. Those last three streets were your least favorite to walk through, because they brought you closer and closer to the place you didn’t want to be.

There was nothing wrong with your house. On the outside at least. It was quite pretty; it even had flowers in the front yard. But there was nothing growing on the inside.

The air inside your house was suffocating. Your throat felt clogged as you took your shoes off.

“Y/N.”

“Mom.”

“How was school?”

“Fine. How was work?”

“Fine.”

And you were in your room.

Your mom was never the same after your dad left.

You remember that day like it was yesterday.

You were seven years old. Your mom was out at work, so it was just you and your dad. He had spent the whole day coming in and out of the house, but you didn’t know why. You had been in your room, playing with your toys, so all you heard was the door. Around 3:00, he came into your room and scooped you up into his arms. His tears were wet in your hair.

“Daddy? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” You had asked. He sat down on your bed, setting you on his lap.

“Y/N, you know I love you very much, right?”

You had giggled, “Yes, Daddy! Of course I know that!”

He kissed your forehead before setting you back on the ground, “I’m going out for a bit, okay?”

“Okay!”

And you never saw him again.

When your mom came home at 5:00 to a house without her husband, she had asked you where he went.

When you replied with, “Out,” she broke.

She spent days in her room after that, refusing any of the little snacks you brought her.

When she did finally come out, something had changed. She was much more reserved, and the light had drained from her eyes, almost like she was just a walking corpse.

When you were old enough, she explained to you why she was so sad all the time.

You never had crushes on boys after that.

Her job was hardly enough to keep you two afloat, so you sold a lot of things. Your house was almost bare, only having a couch and a tv on the floor. Your room was like that too, the only furniture being your bed and dresser. When you turned 16, you got a part-time job, and almost all of that money went to paying bills.

You flopped down on your bed, immediately curling under the blankets. You never really bothered with doing your homework. You’d just do it the next day and get an A on it. It was always like that with you.

—

Time passed quickly. Too quickly. Two weeks had already passed and it was time for the gala. You were dressed in the nicest outfit you owned. Felix had come home with you and raided your closet, claiming that you needed his fashion expertise.

“Why don’t you have any nice clothes?”

“Felix I have no money.”

“Well neither-”

“You live in a mansion, shut up.”

But you cleaned up nicely, at least that’s what Felix said. You also had to promise him that you wouldn’t smoke at all that night. He gave you those stupid eyes again, so you agreed.

You thought the gala was even more boring every year. You only went as a freshman because Chan said you needed to have the full experience of New Haven Preparatory School. You didn’t know that meant having to watch all your peers grinding on each other, alcohol and God knows what else in their systems. One thing you didn’t know about prep schools before attending one: the kids were much more rebellious. Something about being so confined made them act out even more. You heard 3 different couples hooking up in the same bathroom when you just wanted to pee.

This year might’ve been the most boring. The way overdone theme made you want to gouge your eyes out. There was a cardboard Eiffel Tower and the lights were hung up to look like stars. If you squinted, it was kind of pretty.

Felix was having a good time though. While you leaned back against the wall, sipping on a punch you were 99% sure was spiked, Felix was living it up on the dance floor. Sometimes you forgot that Felix was a dancer, as he never really talked about it much. But when you saw him dance, you remembered all of the recitals you’ve gone to for him.

You become 100% sure that the punch is spiked when Felix holds out a hand, beckoning you to the dance floor, and you accept. You don’t know if you can dance, but you’re assuming you can’t based on the amused look on your best friend’s face. You two clumsily move to the beat of Top 50 pop songs, giggling whenever one of you trips. You were tipsy, and Felix was just a clumsy guy.

The gym hushes when the doors open, revealing someone you could care less about.

Seo Changbin.

Seo Changbin was practically made of money. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Changbin could literally get away with murder. You assumed that was why everyone liked him so much.

After a moment of gaping silence, the party continued. There was more chatter, mostly from people with huge crushes on the senior.

“God, he’s so hot. Do I look good enough for him to talk to me?”

You just laughed listening to their conversations. Felix must’ve heard them, too, as he rolled his eyes.

You didn’t care about Changbin. He had never been mean to you, but he was never nice to you either. So you just didn’t care.

You cared so little that you merely shrugged when he tapped on your shoulder, taking your hand in his and dragging you away from your best friend.

You cared so little that you couldn’t be bothered to push him away when he pulled you into the janitor’s closet and suddenly had you pressed against a wall. You didn’t push him away when his lips connected with yours, with a fire you weren’t aware his possessed. In fact, you cared so little that you kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him even closer.

You weren’t sure how long you were in that closet, or where your shoes were, or how many hickeys were on your neck, but you didn’t really care. You just went and found Felix, telling him that you were tired and wanted to go back to your house. And Felix walked you back, the knowing smirk never leaving his face, even after he dropped you off.

—

Seo Changbin was a complicated guy, especially when it came to matters of the heart.

People called him a player, and from most angles, he looked like one. But he swore he wasn’t.

But he never really talked about his feelings.

“Dude, you’re a fuckboy. Just deal with it.” His best friend Minho had said when Changbin tried to explain himself. His other friend, Seungmin, nodded from his spot in the corner, where he was reading a manga.

Seungmin was a junior, and sometimes Changbin thought about knocking his teeth out. But Seungmin could pay to get new teeth in a day, so what was the point?

He has tried to knock Minho’s teeth out once. He doesn’t really remember what they were fighting about, but he punched Minho in the mouth and got a beating in return. They’ve agreed to never fight again.

But Changbin swears he isn’t a fuckboy.

Seo Changbin, although rough on the outside, was soft on the inside. All he wanted was someone to fall in love with. Someone to hold at night and someone to make breakfast with and someone to kiss and hug and just…someone to love.

Seo Changbin was a strong believer in fate and soulmates, and believed that you would know who your soulmate was the moment your lips touched theirs.

So he spent his whole high school career trying to find his soulmate. So he’s kissed almost everyone at school. That’s actually how he met Minho...and Seungmin.

It took him four years to find his soulmate. He couldn’t understand the energy that passed through him the moment his lips touched yours. It was like someone had lit a match inside his body and set all his organs on fire in the best way possible. When you left, it was like all of the warmth in the world had been taken away from him, and he was left in the cold.

You were Changbin’s soulmate. He was sure of it.

Now all he had to do was make you his.

—

School had gotten weirder after the gala. Everyone looked at you, which is something they never did.

“Felix,” you whined, back in the basement, “why was everyone staring at me?”

“Oh, I don’t know Y/N, maybe it’s because you hooked up with Seo Changbin in the janitor’s closet.”

“We didn’t hook up! We just kissed for a little. I have self-control, asshole.”

You heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Your eyes widened as you put out your cigarette, making sure your foot was covering it as the person showed themselves.

“Seo Changbin, fancy seeing you here.” Felix sent a knowing glance your way, not even trying to make his wink secretive.

“I...I just wanted to give this to Y/N.” Changbin pulled out a single rose from behind his back, shoving it into your hand with a shy smile.

“You...you didn’t fall in love with me because of a kiss, did you?” You laughed awkwardly, setting the rose down next to you.

“I did, actually.”

Oh Jesus, you thought.

“Oh Jesus.” you said.

That wasn’t the last you saw of Seo Changbin that day. He walked you to your art class, then he walked you home, with Felix trailing behind. He wasn’t the worst person to talk to, and you actually found yourself laughing at a few of his jokes.

Changbin couldn’t even describe the joy he felt when he heard your laugh.

And this continued for the next few weeks, as the end of winter transitioned into spring. You could predict Changbin’s lines at this point, and it was pretty amusing.

“The flowers are so pretty today.” Felix mused.

“Like Y/N.” You and Changbin said in sync, sending each other sly grins afterwards. You hadn’t really noticed that his hand was holding yours. It happened a lot, and you didn’t mind it. You didn’t care.

You cared so little that you let him kiss your cheek as he left to go to his house.

You cared so little that you blushed when he said, “See you tomorrow, my darling Y/N.”

You cared so little that you walked home in a daze, hardly able to hear Felix’s teasing laugh.

“Mom.” You had said once you entered the house. Your mother jumped, not used to the lightness of your tone.

“Y/N.”

“I love you.”

A smile broke out on her face, the first one you had seen from her in years, “I love you too, my baby.”

And she hugged you, and she cried, and you cried. Your house felt a little bit more like a home, and you thought you should thank Changbin. He was always bright, bringing a new perspective of optimism into your life.

The next day, you decided you would thank him.

You took his hand in yours on your walk home, startling him enough to make him stutter. You watched him as he spoke, and you told him that he looked nice that day. By the time you got to his house, he was a blushing mess.

“B-Bye, Y/N.” He turned around to go to his house, but you stopped him. You wrapped your arms around his torso from behind, trying to pour every ounce of adoration you held for him into this hug. His eyes watered as he placed his hands over yours, immediately understanding what you wanted to tell him. He knew you well enough to not say anything, only turning around and pressing a kiss to your forehead before going home.

Home wasn’t a building. Home wasn’t a person either. To you, home was a feeling. A feeling of comfort and safety. That feeling started following you everywhere, leaving you feeling at home in your own skin.

You still hated your school. The hallways and the classrooms and the courtyard and the teachers and the students. But you still felt at home there, as your home was anywhere you went.

[jennifersylvesters]

not so subtle - part ten

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x reader Word Count: 4.3k~ Warning: swearing A/N: welp, it’s here. we in the endgame double digits now folks. just as a heads up, “not so subtle” will be taking a semi-hiatus. basically this means i'm putting it on the back burner due a couple reasons. one: i’d really like to complete “ring ring” or “how to trick someone into loving you” because they have less parts. two: i was looking over my original outline and it’s not as strong of a conclusion as i wanted it to be. with that said, hope you enjoy this part. it’d be cool if y’all gave feedback, but no pressure

Now that you were aware of your feelings for Harrison, things sucked.

You desperately wanted to avoid him, but it wasn’t like those times that you ignored him due to your fervent hatred. In fact now it was the total opposite. You couldn’t look at him for more than a couple seconds before turning into a flustered mess. Who is this bitch, and why is she acting like a pining, lovesick idiot? It was disgusting how head over heels you were.

If you weren’t looking at Harrison, you were thinking about him. Your mind became consumed with images of the boy - the way he laughed, the way his nose crinkled, those flecks of deeper blue in his eyes that only shone when the light hit just right. Even the way he stretched showing just a slight bit of skin had a hold on you. Stupid brain.

You kept trying to reason with yourself, pointing out all his flaws. Yet for every flaw you were reminded of the softer, caring side he displayed only towards you. God, you were such a goner.

Yet you knew Harrison didn’t feel the same way. And why should he? You gave him time and time again reasons not to date you. Meanwhile there were other more glamorous girls that he could surround himself with. Remembering that made things suck more. All you wanted was for him to feel the same way. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently. Ha ha ha. You truly played yourself.

Just suppress your feelings. That’s what you reminded yourself daily. You could totally play it cool and casual like he wasn’t destined to break your heart. Just avoid social media. And going out. And him in general. It wasn’t that difficult.

Except it absolutely fucking was. After Valentine’s Day, Harrison visited your campus frequently. He claimed he was bored and the campus offered good research material for any college roles.

You could put on your best scowl and tell him to leave you alone but he paid no mind. The nature of your relationship had become lighthearted without you even realizing. No matter the threats you threw his way, he simply shook them off.

Whenever you studied, Harrison sat next to you in the library or cafe. While you flipped through notes and textbooks, he played on his phone or read through scripts.”Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” you snarked, hoping your aggressive nature would prompt him to leave.

“Nowhere I’d rather be than here” he hummed. You thanked whatever higher being was out there that Harrison never glanced up to see your beet red face.

His bolder, familiar moments had you sweating bullets. Sometimes he hovered over your shoulder, his breath fanning your neck as he asked what you were working on. Other times he doodled in the margins of your notes while you were still writing.

“Osterfield, what are you doing?” you’d ask nervously seeing how dangerously close his hand was to yours.

He’d hum in response, engrossed in his drawing. “Just doodling” he would answer as your heart pounded out of your chest when his hands finally bumped yours.

“Is this alright?” Was it alright that he got you hot and bothered with a simple touch? Absolutely not. Was it alright for him to be drawing? Also not really. The whole point of writing notes was to focus on important details. Now all you did was goofily smile at the drawings on the sides of the pages.

But as soon as he looked up at you, all you could do was nod. One nod and his beautiful smile would come out; it took all your effort not to fall apart. You both longed for yet hated these moments. He had you wrapped around his finger, and the two of you weren’t even remotely close to dating.

There were flickers of potential where you thought he might see you differently, that he might actually like you. It was the way he brought snacks to share, always bringing your favorite treats and letting pick out your favorite flavors. They were the times he grabbed your bag when it was heavy, hoisting over his shoulder and walking you back home without complaint. Well, mild complaints. It was Harrison after all. Then there were those moments where he bumped shoulders with you only to gently tap his fingers on your arm. Three light taps as if to say “sorry about that”. It was a secret language that only you two shared.

Yet this was Harrison.Every time you felt so much of an inch of possibly being together, your hopes were instantly dashed. You wanted to have this blindly optimistic faith that he was falling for you like you fell for him. But wearing rose-colored glasses wasn’t something you could easily do when you saw the way he was around other girls.

Whenever you studied, you noticed girls slipping him their number and flirtatiously waving. He would flash them a grin and pocket their numbers with ease. His casual nature about these flirtations made you unsure if he could ever commit to a single person. Could he commit to you? Better yet, would he commit to you?

You told yourself you didn’t even deserve to be jealous. It’s not like you were dating him much less putting yourself out there. Even so, it stung to see girls fawning over him in your presence.

You tried to put distance, thinking if you inched away he would leave you be. Your chair grated against the floor as you shuffled away. Take the hint, Osterfield.

Unfortunately he didn’t understand that social cue. Instead he scooched his chair closer to yours. “Stop being jealous, Lil Skunk” he teased not knowing how his words meant more than he could ever realize.

“I’m not jealous” you hissed trying to focus on your work. A post-it note floated onto your notes reading: “if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably jealous ;)”.

“You’re such an idiot” you laughed quietly tossing the note back at him and he grinned.

“But you probably think it’s attractive, don’t you?” God, how you wished he was wrong.

With midterms approaching you hoped he would let you to study in peace. Of course Osterfield thought it was a better to do the opposite. Even when you insisted for him to leave you alone, there he was right by your side. Sometimes he left snacks or post-its saying “don’t fail, lil skunk” with an ugly drawing of a skunk frowning. It was so adorable you wondered if you should frame it. No, you idiot. Don’t be a creep.  

After all the late night studying and energy drink jitters, you managed to submit your papers on time. The tests were hell, but somehow you pulled through. You let out a tired sigh of relief as you tossed in your last test and headed back home.

Bursting through your apartment door, you saw Kimberly sitting upside down on the couch. She held a carton of strawberry ice cream in her hands while a spoon stuck out of her mouth. You grinned at the sight of your normally put together roommate looking slightly disheveled. Kimberly only got this way when she finished exams.

“I’m done with hell week!” you announced as you bounced down next to her. Pulling the spoon out of her mouth, she scooped up ice cream and held it towards you. Not one to deny yourself a sweet treat, you happily obliged taking the bite.

The two of you lazed around for a bit longer before she nudged you.

“Bar time?” she asked.

You nodded. “Bar time.”

It became a group tradition to celebrate finishing exams by going to your favorite bar. Despite being exhausted, you looked forward to this night knowing some of your friends partied harder than usual. You weren’t even sure why that was, but with how hilarious things got you didn’t question it. Nothing could ever top Sarah’s drunken serenade before she toppled down the stairs at a bar, but perhaps tonight someone else would claim the shame spot.

A couple hours later you headed out with friends towards the bar. No surprise the place was packed when you arrived. A good chunk of the patrons were students, everyone congratulatory drinking after the stress of finals. And why not? No more finals meant no longer worrying about late night cramming and napping in strange locations to get just an ounce of sleep.

Your friends managed to snag a small booth as you all crammed inside before ordering drinks. Everyone was in good spirits discussing their plans for spring break. While everyone excitedly talked about where they were visiting, you kept quiet. You planned on heading to the Bahamas with Emma but knew Tom and Harrison would probably accompany you. The idea of Harrison wandering around shirtless on a constant basis had you overwhelmed just thinking about it. Those abs. Oof.

About an hour later Tom and Emma shuffled through the crowd towards your group. Despite the ruckus, you could hear Emma worrying about her results.

“Babe, I think I failed. Oh, God. What if I failed?” Emma groaned as she gripped Tom’s sleeve.

“Nothing you can do about that now, darling” he shrugged before regretting his words. Your best friend let out a loud wail causing Tom to quickly apologize. “I’m sure you passed with flying colors! You’re so smart, babe!” he encouraged as the rest of you roared with laughter.

With Sarah preoccupied in a conversation, Kimberly nudged you to accompany her to the bar. The place was packed as the two of you pushed through the crowd. “Are you having fun?” your roommate asked as she waited for a bartender to take her order. You shrugged nonchalantly.

While everyone else was getting drunk, you slowly worked on a cranberry vodka. Sure, finals had been stressful but you wanted to relax. Downing shots was not what you had in mind. Surprisingly enough it was comforting being around this hectic noise. Hearing your friends laughing about trivial things felt oddly comforting, but there was only one voice you wanted to really hear.

That’s when you noticed Harrison across the bar. Ever since you realized your feelings, you found it easy to spot him in a crowd. You gravitated towards his presence. A part of you wanted to call out to him and wave him over. Despite his friendliness the past weeks, the idea that he would ignore your gesture worried you. Maybe his friendliness was a long con for playing a prank. Elaborate but not outside the realm of possibility. But the internal struggle vanished when you realized he wasn’t alone.  

Next to Harrison stood a blonde girl clearly interested in the Brit. You swallowed hard watching him smile at her as she gave all the signs of flirting. She leaned in whispering something in his ear. Her hand gently grazed along his arm. The way she bit down on her lip and pushed her chest out made it clear she wasn’t looking to just be friends.But it was her giggling and him breaking into laughter that struck the final blow because whatever she was selling, Harrison was definitely interested in.

It was reality slapping you across the face that you weren’t going to be that girl. You couldn’t simply flutter your lashes. You sure as hell couldn’t press up against him with the intention of expecting something more. How could you act cool around someone who flustered you without even trying? There was no way you could just act like a completely different person. He was Lil Shit and you were Lil Skunk. And that sinking feeling was a reminder that things would never change.

Gripping your drink, you chugged it before slamming it down on the bar. Kimberly watched with surprise as you ordered another. As the glass slid in your direction, you immediately pounded it down. The alcohol heated your stomach as you quickly gulped before making a face.

“Y/N-” Kimberly started as you called the bartender over once more. “Are you-?” You ignored her concern as you ordered a pint of beer. When he asked your preference, you shrugged and told him to take his pick. It didn’t matter anyways. You just wanted something to loosen you up, help forget reality even if only for a couple hours.

Half of your pint glass was drained by the time you finally acknowledged your roommate again. “Y/N, are you okay?” Kimberly asked as she eyed your drink.

“I’m fine” you grunted. “I’m great actually. I’m having fun.” If you said it enough, maybe it would actually become real. That it wouldn’t hurt to glance Harrison’s way. That you wouldn’t let this misery wash over you. That wouldn’t let fate remind you how would never have him. Tears that stung in your eyes wouldn’t slip out. You refused to let them. Absolutely no way you were bawling over Harrison in a bar. You had more class than that.  

You knew that if you wanted to get drunk - plastered even - you needed a certain amount of stealth around her. Kimberly was the voice of reason you wanted to simply flick away and ignore. As much as you loved her, you just wanted to drink to forget the pain. Was that such a crime?

So once you finished your pint, you left it on the bar and joined your friends. It was easy enough to convince them to buy you a couple drinks, using the excuse of you needing one after all those finals.

You found yourself slipping into a haze, sounds becoming slightly louder and certain thoughts sounding funnier than they ever did. Whoomp - there it was: you were certifiably drunk and way above your tolerance levels.

No one seemed to notice, not even Kimberly who was too preoccupied with her girlfriend. As you swayed to the bar’s music along with Emma, you kept telling yourself that you were fine. You were having fun.

“Hey I’m gonna head out.” Your ears perked up at the sound. Did that voice know how much you liked it? You would listen to it recite a takeout menu if given the opportunity.

Turning you saw Harrison clap his hand on Tom’s shoulder. Harrison whispered something into Tom’s ear causing his best friend to glance around before turning a shade of pink. Something inside you flared up. Was he heading off with the blonde girl? Of course he would. He looked cozy with her that you imagined he jumped at the chance to take her home.The assumption that Harrison was leaving with her left you seething.

You weren’t in your right mind as you burst into laughter causing both boys to look in your direction.

“‘Course you are” you slurred out. Harrison gave you a strange look as you blurted your immediate thoughts. “‘Course good ol’ Osterfield is getting laid tonight. Wouldn’t expect anything less!” Holding the cup in Emma’s hand steady, you took a long sip as she laughed at your antics. Both of you howled with laughter unaware of Harrison looking visibly hurt by your words.

“She’s just drunk” Tom tried to justify your actions, helping steady you as you toppled slightly.

“Yeah, drunk as a skunk” you snorted. “Ain’t that fitting for your little nickname for me.” You laughed dryly, knowing there was nothing funny about the moment.

Like a woman possessed, you grabbed Tom’s beer bottle and began chugging it. Tom’s eyes widened and shot a glance over at Harrison who just stared at you. Tom tried taking prying it away but your grip was tight. He could take the damn thing once you finished.

“Y/N, c’mon” Tom groaned. Once you finished, you put it on the table and let out a loud cheer. Emma and the rest of your drunken friends whooped along.

“I’m having fun, Tom. Why don’t you get with the program?” you sneered as you stumbled back, Harrison helping to keep you upright. You heard that voice you love so much murmur your name, urging you to stop but you simply shook your head.

“Go big or go home, bitches!” you roared out as you threw your hands in the air. Another round of cheers rang through the bar again.

For the rest of the night, you became a certified hot mess. You drunkenly sang along with the jukebox, shimmying to whatever tunes blasted through the speakers. You attempted to climb on tables, getting handsy with whoever tried to help you down.

You didn’t even notice how Harrison stuck by your side the rest of the night. Whenever you stumbled, he steadied you from falling over. Any guy that looked even remotely interested in you was shot a nasty glare.

He was practically babysitting you despite Tom’s insistence that he could take care of you and Emma. Harrison roughly shook his head watching you publicly embarrass yourself without a care in the world.

As the bar began closing, he slid his arm around your waist to keep you upright. You whined about wanting to keep the party going. The others tiredly cheered for that idea though the enthusiasm was wavering. If anything, the group just wanted to crash at someone’s place.

“As long as you guys don’t throw up on my floors, you guys can come over” Kimberly suggested earning a couple whoops.

You don’t remember when but you found your eyes getting heavy. You wanted nothing more than to pass out despite your earlier declaration of being able to party till the sun rose.

“‘m tired” you mumbled.

“Almost there, love.” You sighed leaning into his side before sleep washed over you. “I got you.”

The next morning your head pounded causing you to lowly groan. You slowly blinked awake with heavy lidded eyes. What time was it? The clock on your cell phone read ten thirty, and you grimaced at the bright backdrop from the phone.

Stumbling to the bathroom, the feeling that you were about to throw up kicked in. Oh no. You hurried into the bathroom quickly kneeling before vomiting. Gross. Despite the nasty sight of bile floating in the toilet, you felt slightly better.  

Taking a swig of water from the sink, you gargled and spit out the taste of the lingering vomit. It was a heavy reminder of your idiocy from the previous night. You brushed your teeth vigorously and gargled mouthwash hoping you weren’t the hottest mess of the night. Maybe Sarah did something worse than you?

Shuffling back to your room you heard voices arguing in the living room. Your head throbbed and you wondered who the hell was arguing this early. Everyone last night seemed to be on good spirits. Did someone throw up on the floor? Or worse - on another person? That would be a bitch to clean up. Except you realized the voices were two people who rarely argued.

“-would just tell her!” Tom yelled as you neared the living room.

“Just butt out!” Harrison shouted. The floor creaked as you entered the space prompting the conversation to come to a halt. Tom and Harrison glared at one another before Tom finally looked your direction. His face softened slightly, his mouth beginning to part.  

“Fuckin’ leave it alone, Tom” Harrison scowled. Tom swiveled back to him and glared. The mental showdown left you concerned, but you weren’t even sure how to ask what was happening.

Harrison turned away first muttered something under his breath. Jamming on his shoes, he shook his head and left slamming the door on the way out. You couldn’t help but jolt at the brusque action.

“What’s going on?” you asked. Silence. Everyone turned away from your glance besides Kimberly who shot you a helpless smile. Clearly they couldn’t speak about the matter. At least not in front of you.

“He’s...He’s coming back, right? He’s just grabbing something from his car?” Once again you were greeted with silence. Finally Emma looked up and shook her head.

You blinked at her response. Was this your fault again? Had you messed up everything last night to the point where he couldn’t stand your presence? You swallowed thickly at the thought. You hadn’t meant to upset Harrison that much, but you didn’t think that warranted him leaving. If you upset him, shouldn’t he have told you instead of rushing out like that? No, you weren’t going to let him go without an explanation.

Without waiting you slipped on sneakers and rushed after Harrison.

The rain heavily thundered outside and crashed down onto you. You pushed your hair out of your face as you spotted him pacing back and forth on the pavement. He was already soaked but he was too lost in his thoughts. You called out his surname which prompted him to walk away.

“Harrison” you called out, scampering behind the Brit who stormed ahead. “Harrison, wait!”

He turned around looking you dead in the eye.  “You realize this is the first time you’ve said my actual name, right?”  The statement caught you by surprise.

“I-I’ve said your name before” you stammered, but he shook his head.

“No, you’ve always called me by my last name, Y/N. Or Lil Shit.” He smiled at this, like the times you meant to be malicious were nothing more than the use of a tender nickname. “But you’ve never called me by name. Not since we first met. And...those times.”

He didn’t have to finish his thought for you to understand his reference. What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas, does it? Not when it came to your feelings. Your face heated up at the reminder of what occurred that night. But was he telling the truth?

You tried to recall when you last called him by his first name but none came to mind. It was as if your anger always got the best of you. You relegated him to being only a friend of a friend, nothing more nothing less. You never wanted to grant him that intimacy in your relationship. Not until recently.

Oh.

So he was right. Despite your fiery temper, your actions had always been cold as ice.

“Did it really mean nothing to you?” His question pulled you out of your thoughts.

“What?”

“That night in Vegas. Did it really mean nothing?” Fuck.

Obviously it meant something. You told yourself at the time that it was simply a fling but at what point had you realized you were lying to yourself? You chose Harrison purposely that night. You wouldn’t have kissed him so forcefully if it meant nothing. You wouldn’t have allowed that intimacy between the two of you if it meant nothing.

Because in truth he meant everything to you. All these complicated emotions, all these confusing moments, everything. They meant everything to you, and it was why you panicked that night. Because you were so terrified that it could have meant nothing to him. The idea that he wasn’t all in when you would throw everything on the line scared you. Even now this vulnerability frightened you.

“You’ve never shown commitment to anyone, Osterfield. Why would I be any different?” He cringed when you called him by his surname but fell to pieces with your question.

“You’ve always been different, Y/N! Always!” He sounded so exasperated, desperately wanting you to understand his truth. Harrison turned around shaking his head wishing he could have you understand the gravity of his emotions.

“Then why all the other girls, Osterfield? You can’t just tell me that and then pretend those other girls don’t exist. I saw-”

“Because none of them really exist to me! Not the way you do!”

He turned around, his face straining as he let out a groan.

“W-what-” It was all you could muster, caught off guard by his admission.

“How do you not get it?!” With a pained look he ran his fingers through his damp hair.

“Don’t yell at me!” And there it was again. That spitfire part of you that didn’t know how to reign in your anger. That part of you that was afraid to be serious with him.You knew this temper of yours would ruin everything yet you let it get its way.

“I’m not yelling!”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you clearly are!”

“No, I’m- you know what? Just forget it. Forget I said-Just forget it!” he scowled as he began walking away.

A split second later he stopped with his frame shaking. He turned on his heels heading back towards you. Your heart pounded, afraid he finally snapped after dealing with your frustrating attitude for so long.

Taking his last step he was only inches away. As you were about to question him, his mouth crashed onto yours. There was desperation in the kiss, a sort of hunger to it. He cupped your face firmly but tenderly, like he didn’t want to let go but felt how fragile you were. And you almost forgot how to breathe.

Harrison gently pulled away, hands still on your face. He studied your expression, trying to get a read on you. “Harrison-” you murmured and his eyes gently shut.

Despite the cold rain pouring down on the two of you, he looked enveloped in warmth just hearing you call his name. “I like hearing that the best” he whispered.

Shakily, you brought a hand up to touch his face. He leaned into your palm, comforted by your touch. He opened his eyes and smiled tiredly at you. Harrison dropped his hands from your face, taking your hand from his own cheek. His lips brushed gently across each finger, causing you to shiver.

“I’m always thankful for you. I don’t know why you don’t get it. You’re so goddamn special. You’re on a different wavelength than anyone else, Y/N.” And with that, he let go of your hand and headed off.

tags list: @sleepybesson, @sophiatomlinson23, @supernatural-girl97, @tomhaz | @almostrosadiazz, @alt-ernativewonderland, @blackstarryroses, @bringmethehorizonandpizza, @butithasntkilledyouyet, @chims-kookies, @choke-me-sweet-pea, @deleteidentity, @divosterfields, @highladyjel, @hollandhearts, @jessiq31, @kateelyse96-blog, @kayla-m1996, @lovelytrashure, @mylifesucksbuthereiam, @otheenglishsetters, @sadnoelle, @sarcasticvodka, @sleepwalkingdragon, @soccerstud004, @spider-mendes, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @wolvesofthewinter

[thedyingmoon]

💜 This I Promise 💜

***

XLII. Honestly

***

Elvis Shunerman waited for the door to open, patiently, yet nervously carrying the fruits basket for (F/N).

He was very anxious because of what happened the other day that he finally decided to visit her, despite knowing the fact that the Dawk family might hate him for starting that stupid race with Erwin.

Still, he waited for that large wooden door to open.

And when it did, he was greeted by none other than Rosemarie Dawk, herself.

At first she was frowning, clearly not amazed and unhappy by his very sudden visit. But, the moment he announced his intentions of visiting (F/N), she sighed, shrugged her pretty head, and finally let him enter.

"Miss Dawk?" he began. Rosemarie just stopped walking, but didn't look at him. "Has,... has Commander Smith visited, yet?"

"Yes. Just yesterday."

Yes. Of course, he would.

"Who was it, dear?" Marie, who just came from the kitchen, said, and was surprised to see Elvis in the entryway.

"Madam," Elvis uttered and gave a slight bow, not once forgetting his current role as honorary noble.

Marie nodded, acknowledging his presence. "I assume you're here to visit her."

Elvis' eyes slightly widened, then immediately went back to normal. He just nodded in response.

"Well, then. This way, my Lord." Marie said, gesturing to him to come with her towards the living quarters in the second floor, leaving Rosemarie behind.

The way towards (F/N)'s room was very awkward. Elvis suddenly remembered Jacqueline's advice to be more sociable towards other people, so he mustered all his courage to start a conversation with the older, yet, stunning woman.

"H-how is she, madam?" he stuttered, uncertain whether he was doing good on the conversation or not.

"She's doing good. Well, she still has a fever, as of the moment." Marie announced, not once looking at him as she treaded on the wide stairs of the mansion.

"Fever?!" he exclaimed, the slightly high pitch of his surprised voice purely unintentional and unheard of.

But, Marie, staying calm as always, just gave him a slight glance.

"Yes. She's sleeping. But, I guess it won't hurt to see her without waking her up."

Elvis gave a relieved sigh. "Thank you, madam."

The two of them turned to the right and stopped on the second door.

"This is her room." She said, about to open the door,...

... when she suddenly took Elvis' arm and led him to another room to the left.

"Madam?!" Elvis retorted, clearly surprised and worried of the married woman's sudden, unwifely action.

Marie just ignored him and opened the door, hastily shoving Elvis inside then entering afterwards.

Elvis looked around the room and realized, to his vast relief, that it was not the master's bedroom, but an empty nursery that was, once, occupied by all three of Marie's children. He was also relieved that the fruits from the basket he was holding did not come tumbling down on his feet with the sudden movement. He turned behind him, facing the woman who brought him there.

Marie didn't say anything. Instead, she just went closer, and closer to him. Elvis took little steps further away from her, beginning to get scared of the woman.

"M-madam?" Elvis stuttered once more, deciding whether to knock the woman unconscious or not.

She stopped going towards him and sighed.

"Please, Mr. Levi. Stop pretending and just reveal yourself." She said dejectedly.

Levi's eyes widened until his pupils dwarfed in comparison to his sclera. It took him a while to process what Marie just said, and when it finally hit him like a bullet straight to the head, he sighed heavily, brought the fruits basket down on a nearby table that was ridiculously ornamented with Ivanna's colorful doodles, and carefully removed his blonde wig, revealing his raven - colored hair, confirming Marie's words.

Levi placed his wig down beside the basket and faced Marie.

She just smiled at him, throwing him off - guard.

"Does Nile know?" Levi asked her.

"No."

"How,... did you find out?"

"Instinct." Marie said, smiling at him, and gesturing at the nearest chair beside the table. "I just want to have a word. Please, have a seat."

Levi did so. Marie situated herself on the opposite chair, placed her hands primly on her lap, and faced Levi once more.

"I'm sure you have questions. Fire away." She offered.

Levi gasped, unable to control his emotions any further.

"Why did you agree with this?" he said to her in a pleadingly, heart - wrenching way. "Why?"

Marie's smile vanished to be replaced with the most regretful frown he had ever seen.

"I agreed because Erwin's intentions towards her seemed to be honest enough. He wants to marry her and give her the best of everything he could offer her. He wants her to be happy."

"And you agreed by altering her identity and taking advantage of her condition?!" Levi was actually on the verge of tears. A phenomenon that was rarely seen by anyone, let alone a woman he barely even knew of. "Is that it?!"

"No! That is not my intention." Marie sincerely felt the pain in Levi's heart, seeing that he truly loved (F/N). "Please, do not assume that I' am badmouthing Erwin. He wants her to forget her feelings for you, by making her fall in love with him. And now with her memories gone with a slight chance of returning, it seems that he has the upper hand. But, that is not working, isn't it?"

Levi remained silent, unable to deny her assumption.

"Are you doing this because you felt sorry for him?" Levi asked, knowing very well what he was talking about.

Marie seemed to fidget on her seat, looking uncomfortable with what he said.

"Marie, what is the story you heard from him about us? About (F/N) and me?"

The blonde looked at him, her resolve not breaking even a bit, despite her tears on the verge of falling.

"You've hurt her and caused her a lot of suffering. She got involved with an accident by saving you, and it nearly killed her."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "And what is this accident?"

"I,... don't know." Marie whispered. "I'm telling the truth."

He observed her for a bit, searching for any sign that could tell him that she's just lying. But, there was none.

Of course, with the cult - related killings, Erwin wouldn't want her to know. He wouldn't want her family, or just her, alone, to get involved with the mess.

Wait -

"So, is it,..." he hesitated, but finally decided to let it out, since his whole disguise was blown by her, anyway. "... is it Erwin's plan to fill the hole you made in his heart by bringing (F/N) to his own life?"

Marie was startled at what she just heard from him.

"What?! No! No,..." if Marie wasn't lying a while ago, she definitely looked lying right now.

"You said it. You told me that he seemed honest with his intentions towards (F/N). Was it because of that?" Levi said, cornering Marie with her own words.

Finally, tears came falling down her face.

"You love her, don't you?" she suddenly said to him. "Prove it. Win her. Win (F/N) back. It doesn't matter what Erwin would think after this. This is all a lie. You must atone whatever sin you did to her. You must get her memories back. You must get her back!"

"Y-yes." Levi agreed, not sure how to exactly respond to her request.

"Promise me!" Marie sure was acting like (F/N)'s mother, or aunt, in this case.

"I promise." Levi gave his solemn oath.

I promise I will before Erwin wreaks havoc here in Wall Sina by revealing the nature of the true murderers.

That was what he really wanted to say, but couldn't. He doesn't want the people who took care of (F/N) to get involved with it. They're good people who took her under their wing without even knowing how dangerous it was to even talk to (F/N).

"And we'll do anything to take her away from here. Hange and I, I mean."

"Oh. Jacqueline, was it?" Marie's smile was back upon hearing Levi's honest response.

He nodded and stood, picking his wig and carefully putting it back on top of his head.

"When did you realize?"

"When you and Erwin raced."

"Oh."

"Where's Hange? I mean, Jacqueline?"

"She went back to the Legion to take care of something." Marie said, also standing up. She was about to open the door when she found out that it was already ajar.

Was it open before? Thought Marie, pushing it on the back of her mind as she accompanied Elvis back to (F/N)'s room.

Levi, on the other hand, was glad that he had gained her trust.

Other than that, he was so worried of (F/N),...

Marie, thinking what he was exactly thinking, allowed him to have privacy with her.

Even for just an hour,...

***

Rosemarie was startled when her little sister Ivanna suddenly invaded her room.

"Go play in your room." She said without looking up from the paper she's examining.

Ivanna ignored her and just stared at her. Rosemarie felt the eyes of the child boring into her like a drill. She put down her paper for a while to look at the girl.

"What is it?"

The little girl put her doll down and went to her elder sister. Rosemarie, anticipating what her sister was about to say, leaned towards her,...

... only for her hair to be pulled painfully by the mischievous child.

"Ouch!" Rosemarie pulled her hair away from the little one's tight grasp. "What the heck was that for? That is not very funny!"

Unfortunately, Ivanna doesn't look like she was making fun of her.

In fact, she remained to stare at her,...

... with that very serious look on her face.

"Okay, tell me what just happened to you." Rosemarie told her, crossing her arms and trying to understand the child.

Ivanna just shrugged her shoulders and went back to the floor to play with her dolly.

"Mister Shining Man pulled his hair." She simply said.

Wait,...

What?!

"What do you mean by that, Ivanna?"

Ivanna started combing the hopelessly tangled hair of her play thing. "Mister Shining Man pulled his hair! And there's another hair, but not yellow! It's black!" the little girl looked back at her elder sister. "Why can't you do the same?"

What in the world - ? Rosemarie thought.

Elvis Shunerman,...

... was wearing a wig?!

That would only mean one thing,...

.... That he's not really Elvis Shunerman!

***

Levi looked up from the document he was working on in time to see the new recruit Petra Ral closing the door of his office.

The girl seemed surprise with the look he gave her that she almost dropped the teacup she's holding.

"Careful, Cadette." He said to her.

Petra apologized and giggled like a giddy school - girl.

Levi smiled. It's not like everyday he sees girls like her,...

... knowing the fact that most of the young recruits die on their first expeditions.

"I brought you tea, Captain Levi." She announced while saluting him.

He nodded and just gestured for her to put the tea on his desk. The girl did as she was ordered.

It was then that he realized something upon observing the girl. That ginger - head -

It really was her!

"Wait, were you the one who assisted the Elites during the last expedition?" he carefully asked her, trying very hard not to intimidate her.

Petra's eyes widened, looking as if she wasn't really expecting him to notice, at all.

"Yes, Captain Levi." She said to him.

Slowly, but surely, he cracked a simple smile for her, which made her heart lurch in all directions with total bliss.

"Good job, Cadette." He told her. "See you on combat training tomorrow."

Petra saluted once more, a big smile plastered on her face.

"Yes, sir! Gladly!"

It wasn't the only time they met. They met many more times after that combat training. Soon after, they started eating together, working together, and training together.

For the both of them, it was the start of a blooming, personal relationship between them.

It had been one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made.

For it was because of it that the real person who loved him got hurt.

If he could blame anyone for her memory loss,...

... it would be him,...

... and only him.

***

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @nerdyphantomlady , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , and @emilyackerman78 . 💜

***

💜💜💜

***

[pentakillmaven]

The Nose Knows, Chapter 2 (NaNoWriMo 2018)

I was able to finish the chapter earlier than I expected! Enjoy!

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter warnings: Canon-typical violence, mild language, more gratuitous usage of French language and the French education system. Mild spoilers for the the season 2 episode “Troublemaker.”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Chapter 2

Monday dawned bright and early, as it was wont to do; the halls and classrooms of Lycée Jean-Baptiste Magnier were buzzing with activity. Some students feverishly scribbled the last bits of their weekend assignments, while others caught up with their friends after the weekend before making their way to their respective classrooms.

Marinette walked into her classroom, waving at Nathaniel and Mylène. "Good morning!" she said as she took her seat.

"Good morning, Marinette!" Mylène replied. "How was your Sunday?" Mylène and Ivan had been at the movies with the rest of the group on Saturday. The two had continued to date all through high school, and according to Mylène, they were looking at finding a university they could attend together.

"Ugh, crazy busy," Marinette replied. "I was working until nearly midnight on the Philosophy project for M. Leroux. I had a hard time staying awake; Aristotle is such a bore."

"Yeah, I had to do mine on Socrates, so I feel your pain. At least they're done, though, right?"

"Exactly. And this week should be easy since we have the practice tests for the Bac next week." Marinette sighed and leaned her head on her arms on top of her desk, closing her eyes in an attempt to catch one more wink of sleep before class started.

However, she quickly perked up when she heard a familiar male voice at the doorway. Lifting her head, she smiled when she saw her desk partner saying goodbye to his girlfriend with a quick peck before he stepped into the classroom. "Hey Marinette! Alya wanted me to give this to you." Nino approached their desk and handed Marinette a flash drive with a white and orange color scheme before taking his seat.

"Oh, this must be the notes I asked for! Thanks, Nino, I really appreciate you bringing them."

"No problem, dude!"

Nino, Nathaniel, and Mylène were the only students from her class at Françoise Dupont that had joined her in the Literature track at Lycée Jean-Baptiste Magnier. Thankfully, some of her other friends were in the school with her, just taking different classes. Adrien, Alya, and Ivan were in the Economics and Social Sciences track, while Alix and Rose were in the Science track. The rest of their group of friends had gone on to other high schools throughout the city--Chloé, for instance, was at a prestigious private school full of international students, where she got to rub elbows with the children of ambassadors and celebrities. Max had gone off to a feeder school for one of the most illustrious engineering universities in the country, planning to go into computer science, while Kim, Sabrina, and Juleka were at another local public school. Marc Anciel, Nathaniel's boyfriend, was also at Lycée Jean-Baptiste Magnier, but as he was a year behind them, he and Nathaniel didn't share any classes.

"So Marinette," Nathaniel asked from his seat behind the pig-tailed girl. "With the Bac practice tests next week, do you have any study plans this upcoming weekend? Rose and Alix are coming over on Saturday afternoon after class, you're welcome to come if you want."

"Thanks for the offer, Nathaniel, but I've already got study plans with Alya and Nino. We're making a full day of it at my place on Sunday. Right, Nino?"

Nino nodded in agreement. "Yep! I'm bringing the tunes, Alya's bringing the drinks, and you're providing the snacks. And if Adrien can get away from his dad, he said he'd like to come too, if that's okay."

"Oh, y-yeah, that's fine!" Marinette's voice broke a bit as she replied, a hint of a blush crossing her cheeks. Even after actively trying to get over Adrien by dating Juleka’s brother Luka (which made her realize that the two of them were definitely better suited as friends than in a relationship), she still had feelings for the blond. She might have outgrown the worst of her obsessive crush on the model, but now her feelings were deeper, especially as the two had finally been able to become real friends. Clearing her throat, she continued, "Of course Adrien is welcome to come. I can't imagine he's going to have any problems with the Bac, though, he's so smart."

Nino just shrugged. "I dunno, Marinette, he seemed pretty nervous about it when he asked me to ask you if he could come. He's probably more stressed out about it than he lets on, especially with how busy his schedule's been lately."

"That's fair. I know his dad has been pulling him out of school more recently for work. I'm just glad Alya shares classes with him so she's been able to help him keep up with his assignments and class notes."

"Don't I know it. It seems like every day the two of them are talking about school stuff and she's constantly giving him files. If I didn't know any better I'd think the two of them were planning something behind my back."

Before Marinette had a chance to reply, the History teacher stepped in to start class. Despite her best efforts to force herself to pay attention, Marinette found herself leaning her head on one hand, the other doodling idly in the corner of her paper as her mind wandered. It had been a while since Adrien had been to her house-- she actually couldn't think of any time since collège, when he came over to practice playing Ultimate Mecha Strike III for the video game tournament. (Though he did see her bedroom during the whole Jagged Stone/Troublemaker incident, but that didn't count since he wasn't technically there for it.) When Alya came over to her place to hang out, they usually spent most of the time in her bedroom, but there wasn't exactly a lot of sitting space for four up there. And if they were going to have their books and study materials spread out, the dining room table or living room would make a lot more sense. However, being in a common area would mean more distractions from her mother--or, Lord forbid, her father, as nosy as he was--especially if Adrien did come to the study party. On the other hand, being downstairs would lead to far fewer questions about what they were getting up to, and would make them all more accountable to actually studying for the Bac rather than just goofing off…

A sudden elbow to her ribs caused Marinette to jump, looking around quickly. "Huh?"

"Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, did you hear me?" Marinette flushed as she realized her teacher had been speaking to her.

"I'm very sorry, Mme. Chevalier… could you repeat that?"

The History teacher pursed her lips together as she stood at the chalkboard, obviously displeased with Marinette's lack of attention. "If you aren't going to listen to me, you may step outside until the end of class. And no getting notes from any other students," she added with a glare in Nino's direction.

"I'll pay attention, Mme. Chevalier. Again, I am very sorry." Marinette couldn't feel any worse if she tried. She knew that it was a very important time for her to be on top of her studies, as the practice exams were coming up and the Baccalauréat was the one thing that could make or break her chances of getting into university to study fashion design.

"Very well then. Could you explain the reasoning behind Napoléon Bonaparte's decision to invade the Russian empire in 1812?"

"Bonaparte had two goals for the Russian campaign: firstly, his official reasoning for the invasion was that he wanted to liberate Poland from the Russians. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, he wanted to force Tsar Nicholas I to stop trading with the British, which violated the Continental Blockade."

"That's correct." Mme. Chevalier continued on with her lesson on the Russian Campaign, but once again Marinette found she couldn't keep her attention on the teacher despite her best efforts. It came as a blessing when the class period ended without her being called upon again.

"Thank God for free periods," Marinette said as she and Nino left the classroom. "I'm going to go hunt down Alya before next period. You have fun in Music Theory!"

"Oh, yeah, sure," Nino deadpanned. "M. Berlioz has us doing oral presentations this week since the Bac practice tests are all written."

"Ouch. Well, good luck with it!"

"Thanks, Marinette. See you in Philosophy class!"

Marinette ducked into a nearby bathroom on her way to find Alya, waiting for the other girls to filter out before she was left alone as the next class period started. Once Marinette was sure she had the room to herself, she opened her purse to let Tikki out. "Tikki, did you hear what Nino said? Adrien wants to come over to my house on Sunday!"

"That's great, Marinette! I'm sure the four of you will have a lot of fun studying for your test!" Tikki smiled at her holder. "Just make sure you leave me some cookies!"

"Of course," Marinette said with a grin. "In fact, before they come over I'll make sure to bring some up to you, fresh out of the oven."

"Oh, Marinette, that's so nice of you to offer!" Tikki giggled.

Marinette opened her mouth to say something else when a sudden rumble shook the school. "An Akuma? But there hasn't been one in weeks…"

Tikki zipped into Marinette's purse. "You'd better go out and double check. You don't want to transform if it's nothing, but better to be safe than sorry."

Marinette nodded. "You're right." Closing her purse to hide her Kwami, Marinette pushed the door to her stall open, but before she could get out of the bathroom, another sudden shock wave rocked the school, knocking her off her feet and sending her careening head-first into a porcelain sink.

Hearing the thud, Tikki cried out, "Marinette? What happened?" When her holder didn't answer, Tikki phased through the purse. She gasped when she saw Marinette's lifeless body. "Oh no! Marinette, wake up!" She flew up to Marinette's head, checking for her pulse and looking for any signs of injury. There was a bump rapidly coming up on her forehead, but no blood, and her pulse was strong. Unfortunately, with Marinette being unconscious, there was no way for her to call on Tikki's power to transform.

Another rumble shook the school once again, this time accompanied by screams and a roar of pain and anger. Tikki partially phased through the bathroom door to peek outside, seeing a large, hulking form covered in what appeared to be gemstones. "I am Gemocide! Bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir, or I'll turn the whole school into crystals and crush them into dust!" the Akuma cried out.

Past the Akuma, on the other side of the school courtyard, a blonde and a brunette were sneaking away from their classroom, ducking underneath windows to avoid being spotted by anyone inside the other classes. "Come on, Alya, you know it's not safe!" Adrien hissed, following his best friend's headstrong girlfriend as she tried to get closer to the Akuma, cell phone in hand.

"Look, Adrien, you don't have to follow me if you don't want to. I'm going to get this scoop for the Ladyblog! This is the first Akuma we've had in weeks!" Alya gave Adrien her patented "just-try-to-stop-me" look as she crept closer to the courtyard.

Shaking his head, Adrien let Alya get a few steps ahead of him before he ducked down an empty hallway that led to a supply closet. He opened the closet door as quietly as possible in an effort not to catch Alya's attention. As soon as the door was shut behind him, Plagg zipped out of his shirt pocket. "It's about time! I was starting to get really bored," Plagg complained.

"Quit your belly-aching," Adrien muttered. "Plagg, claws out!"

Moments later, after a flash of green light, Chat Noir popped out of the supply closet, launching himself toward the main area of the school. However, before he could even get out of the hallway, he was stopped short by the sight of a tiny red creature with black spots floating in the air in front of him. He felt an odd sense of recognition when he saw the thing, the smell of warm cookies and sugary sweets filling his nostrils. It took him a moment to realize why it looked so familiar.

"You're Ladybug's Kwami, right? What are you doing here? Where is she?"

The tiny pixie-like creature nodded in confirmation. "Yes, my name is Tikki. Ladybug will be here shortly, but I found a student that needs help. She's in danger!"

"All right, I'm here. Lead the way!" Tikki flew back down the way she came, Chat loping along on all fours in an effort to keep up with the surprisingly speedy Kwami. When they came to the women's restroom, Chat stopped just outside the doorway. "Um, Tikki, I don't know if you know this, but I'm not allowed to go in there…"

"I think in this situation it's okay for a superhero to go into the girl's bathroom!" Tikki said, crossing her arms over her chest. "The girl in here is one of Ladybug's close friends and she needs your help!"

"All right! All right, I'm going." Adrien pushed the door open, his eyes darting around but mostly staying near the ceiling until he confirmed that there wasn't anyone screaming at him to get out. When he looked down, he gasped at the sight of Marinette lying unconscious on the floor, a nasty-looking goose egg bruising on her forehead. "Oh god! Marinette!"

"You know her?" Tikki asked curiously.

"Y-yeah, I've-- I mean, there was that incident with the Evillustrator a few years ago, and I've seen her a few times since then…" Chat was thankful that his mask hid his cheeks, otherwise he knew they would be as red as Tikki's skin. He was not going to admit to Ladybug's Kwami how often he stopped by Marinette's balcony just to check in on her. "What happened?"

"It looks like she hit her head while she was in here, probably from the initial tremors from the Akuma. You need to get her out of here before it destroys the whole school! It seems really angry about something here specifically."

"You're right about that. I heard what the Akuma said. It's not likely to leave here any time soon, so I can get Marinette to safety and then come back and keep it busy until Ladybug gets here."

Tikki nodded. "That sounds like a good plan. If Ladybug shows up while you're gone, I'll be sure to tell her where you are."

"Thanks. Her house isn't far from here, so I'm just going to take her straight there and come back." Tikki nodded again in confirmation. "Stand back-- or, well, float back, I guess?" Adrien gently picked up Marinette in his arms before carrying her toward the window. With a cry of "Cataclysm!" he melted the window, giving him a clear exit to get out of the school as quickly as possible. In his focus on getting Marinette out safely, he didn't notice Tikki phasing back through Marinette's purse, returning to her usual hiding spot.

Traveling by rooftop, it took Chat barely two minutes to make it to Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie. He landed smoothly on Marinette's balcony, tugging open the trapdoor, which was thankfully unlocked-- he didn't have another charge of his Cataclysm to open it if it had been barred from the inside. He shifted Marinette's body in his arms to get her inside, settling her down on her bed before gently tracing a clawed hand over her face. "I'm just trying to get a better look at her injury," he muttered, as if trying to convince himself that his motives for touching her were entirely pure and not at all driven by his crush.

"Mm… Ad...en..." Marinette let out a soft, pained moan, shifting slightly on the bed, making Chat jump in surprise. Did she just say my name? he thought to himself. His eyes darted around, as if expecting someone to be watching; thankfully, it seemed the coast was clear.

He hopped down out of the loft, digging around on her desk for a pen and paper. He found a piece of drawing paper and a green pen, tracing out a rather crude paw print shape to let Marinette know that he had been the one to bring her home. He climbed back up into the loft, tucking the paper into Marinette's hand, giving her one last quick check to make sure there wasn't anything more serious wrong with her. "You'll feel better once Ladybug's magic has done its work, Princess," he murmured to her. Biting his lip, he reached for her other hand to bring it to his lips… only to be reminded of his imminent de-transformation by an incessant beeping. "Shit." Chat reached up to pull himself out of the skylight, practically flying up onto the roof to release his transformation. "Plagg, claws in."

When Plagg had re-materialized in front of Adrien, he looked angry. "Where are we? Why aren't we fighting the Akuma?"

"Look, Ladybug's Kwami found me"--

"Tikki was at your school? Why wasn't she with Ladybug?"

"She said Ladybug was on her way, but Marinette was hurt, I couldn't just leave her lying in the bathroom unconscious!"

"So you abandoned the Akuma to save your girlfriend?" Plagg accused, crossing his arms in frustration

Adrien had the decency to blush at that. "She's not… Tikki asked me to save Marinette, okay? She told me that Marinette and Ladybug were close friends and that Ladybug would want me to make sure Marinette was safe."  

"That… okay, yeah, that sounds like something Tikki would say. She's always been a bleeding heart."

Adrien pulled a piece of Camembert out of his pocket, handing it to Plagg to recharge his power. "Just eat quick so we can go back to school and take care of that Akuma, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just tell me one thing, kid."

"What is it?"

"Did you feel her up?"

"Oh god-- Plagg, no!" Adrien's face practically went up in flames from his embarrassment. "She's unconscious! I wouldn't do that to her! It wouldn't be right!"

Plagg just gave Adrien a shit-eating grin before eating the piece of stinky cheese. Within moments, Adrien called out his transformation phrase again and Chat Noir was off toward Lycée Jean-Baptiste Magnier.

Down in Marinette's bedroom, the young woman slowly came to consciousness, groaning in pain as she realized her head was throbbing. "What… what hit me?" she mumbled, squinting and rubbing her forehead. She hissed at the tenderness of the goose egg just along her hairline.

"You fell and hit your head on a bathroom sink at school," Tikki explained, floating just inches from Marinette's face. "Luckily, Chat Noir showed up and he was able to bring you home. I made sure the skylight was unlocked so he could get you inside."

"Chat… Noir? He came into my room? Wait, he saw you? Did he"-- Tikki shushed Marinette before she could freak out too much.

"No, no, he doesn't know you're Ladybug. I told him that Ladybug was on her way and would be at the school soon, though, so he's going to be looking for you. We need to hurry."

"Tikki, I don't think I can fight in this condition. My head is killing me-- and if I passed out, what if I have a concussion?" Marinette lifted both of her hands to rub at her face, only to realize she was clutching a piece of paper in one hand. Looking down at it, she saw a green paw print along with a short note:

You're safe, Princess. Feel better!   --C.N.

Marinette flushed red and quickly tucked the piece of paper under her blanket. Nope, not thinking about that right now. She looked up, realizing Tikki was speaking to her, and flushed even more. "Sorry, Tikki, I didn't quite catch that, what did you say?"

"I said, when you transform, the magic will temporarily heal your head, so you will be able to fight. And then your Lucky Charm should do the job permanently, since the injury happened after Hawk Moth created the Akuma."

"Oh! Well, that's a relief. All right then, Tikki, spots on!" Tikki was sucked into Marinette's earrings as she transformed into Ladybug, dashing up onto her roof and swinging her way back to school.

When she dropped onto the roof of the lycée, Ladybug saw Chat Noir dodging blows from an absolutely massive, hulking figure coated with what appeared to be large chunks of raw diamond. As if drawn to Ladybug by some mysterious force, Chat looked up at her, his face breaking out in a wide grin. "There you are, Bugaboo! I was getting worried that you were going to stand me up!"

"I'm sorry, Chaton, I got a little tied up," Ladybug said with a grin, launching her yo-yo at the villain in an effort to restrain him. Rather than winding around him, however, the Akumatized villain grabbed onto the string, pulling Ladybug off the roof toward him instead. Chat launched into action at that moment, distracting the villain with his baton to give Ladybug a chance to land properly and retract her yo-yo. The baton seemed to do nothing against the Akuma's crystalline armor, but the blow did at least distract him long enough to allow Chat and Ladybug to meet up on the ground.

"You seem to be in a paw-fully good mood today, My Lady, if you're cracking jokes like that," Chat commented as the two of them launched into a synchronized attack. Within just a few minutes, the two were on opposite sides of the Akuma, hedging him in and keeping him from escaping past the boundaries of the courtyard.

"I'm just glad to get to spread my wings a bit, you know?" Ladybug replied. "So where do you think the Akuma is at?"

"Right under his head, there's a crystal that's a different color from the rest. It kind of looks like a bow tie?"

"I see it. Lucky Charm!" Throwing her yo-yo high in the air, she was rewarded with a crossbow loaded with a flat-headed bolt. Looking around in confusion, she realized that there was a high ledge that would give her a clean shot at knocking that particular crystal off of the Akuma's body, as long as… "Chat, keep him busy!" Ladybug launched herself into the air using her yo-yo before her partner could respond.

"Of course, Bugaboo!" Chat said, turning his attention fully back to Gemocide. "Now then, it's just you and me, buddy…"

It took Ladybug a minute to figure out how to use the crossbow and another to line everything up properly. She took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth, waiting for just the right moment… there! She squeezed the trigger between breaths; luckily, the bolt fired true, the wide, flat head managing to hit the crystal bow tie just so to send it flying into the air.

"NO!!!" Gemocide screamed as Chat scooped up the piece of crystal. "Give that back! If you don't give that back right now, I'll kill you and take your Miraculous!"

"Cataclysm!" A moment later, a dark butterfly fluttered out of the broken gemstone. Ladybug, who had jumped back down to ground level, swiped at it with her yo-yo, capturing it and purifying it.

"Bye bye, petit papillon," she said as she released the purified butterfly. She tossed the crossbow into the air with a cry of "Miraculous Ladybug!" Within moments, the magical swarm of ladybugs had set everything to rights, repairing the damage to the school and restoring the poor man's bow tie to its proper place at his neck.

"Are you all right, sir?" Ladybug asked the gentleman, a rather scrawny looking fellow with curly hair and over-sized glasses.

"O-oh, yes, I'm fine… thank you for that, I'm so embarrassed…" He looked down, twiddling his thumbs, not wanting to meet Ladybug's eyes.

"If you don't mind us asking, what happened?" Chat asked.

"W-well, you see, I'm a geologist, and, I applied for a job at this school, but I was turned down after my interview... "

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Ladybug said, placing a gentle hand on the man's shoulder. "But I'm sure that if you keep looking, you'll find the right job for you soon!"

"Y-you're right… I just get so nervous… at job interviews… and then I m-mess up… my words…"

Ladybug couldn't help but feel bad for the man. "I know how you feel… Sometimes, you can never figure out the right words to say, and you end up tripping over your own tongue, right?"

"Y-yes! Exactly! How did you overcome your problem?"

"Well… honestly, I still struggle with it sometimes. I just had to remind myself to stay calm, slow down, and not let my mouth move faster than my brain. Writing down what you want to say beforehand helps, too, if you can do that."

"I'll have to remember that." Now that he was relaxing a bit, the man was speaking much more easily. He even smiled at the two teenage superheroes. "Thank you again. You two should get going, though; the police will be here any minute, I'm sure."

"You're right." As if on cue, Chat and Ladybug's Miraculous both beeped in warning. The two of them made their way up onto the roof, planning to depart in opposite directions; but before they could leave, Chat called out, "What really took you, Bugaboo?"

"I had a personal matter I needed to take care of, Chat. Unlike you, I don't lose my Miraculous." Chat flushed at the memory of what Plagg had told him in the aftermath of the Style Queen incident, how he'd used that excuse to explain why Chat couldn't help fight the Akuma. For some reason, he had a sinking feeling in his gut, like Ladybug wasn't telling him the whole truth; but he couldn't very well call her on it without any proof, so he held his tongue for the moment.

"By the way…" Ladybug continued, "thank you for saving Marinette. Tikki told me what you did."

"Of course, My Lady. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine! It was my purr-leasure to be of assistance." He gave Ladybug a grand, sweeping bow, earning a giggle and a soft smile in response. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very hungry Kwami to take care of. Adieu, My Bugaboo!"

"Adieu, Chaton," Ladybug replied warmly before the two of them went their separate ways.

Both of them ducked into alleyways on opposite sides of the school to de-transform, neither of them the wiser of just how close they were to discovering each other's biggest secrets.

As soon as Marinette made it back into the school and found her class, Nino wrapped his arms around her in a panic. "Marinette! What happened? No one could find you! Someone said they saw you in the bathroom, but there was no trace of you. I texted Alya to see if you were with her but she said she had no idea where you were and you weren't answering your phone. We were freaking out!"

"Sorry Nino! I wasn't feeling well, so I actually went home during my free period… I heard there was an Akuma though!"

"Yeah, it was crazy. He kinda reminded me of"--

Marinette cut him off, replying, "Stoneheart, right? When Ivan was Akumatized?"

"Yeah! The big rock dude! How did you know?" Nino asked.

"O-oh, I just, you know, heard people in the halls talking about it! They said he was covered in crystals or something?"

"Yeah, and he was huge! Like, easily ten feet tall." Nino reached high above his head, waving his hand in an effort to express the comparative size of the villain.

"Wow, that's crazy! I'm glad Ladybug and Chat Noir were able to stop him."

"Definitely." Nino nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around Marinette from behind and a cheek mashed against the back of her head. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng! Don't scare me like that!" Alya cried out.

"Alya, I'm fine. I wasn't even here for the Akuma attack. I had a free period and I wasn't feeling well so I went home for a bit to rest."

"Oh. Well, you should have told me you were leaving, girl! Then I wouldn't have worried about you."

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Adrien said, walking up behind Alya.

"Yeah, much better actually! I think I just needed a little nap, that's all," Marinette said, plastering a weak smile on her face. "Adrien, did you see the Akuma?"

"Actually, I kinda ended up hiding in a supply closet," he replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I was going to follow Alya, but I chickened out…"

"That's probably for the best, dude," Nino pointed out. "You know how your dad gets when you're around Akumas."

"Yeah, fair. Hopefully he won't threaten to make me transfer schools again…" Adrien grimaced at the memory of how three Akumas attacked the school within a week last year and his dad threatened to pull him out if the headmaster didn't do something to improve the negative attitudes of the students and staff.

"Well, just tell him that you kept yourself safe, and that should be fine, right?" Marinette asked.

"Hopefully.. We'll see though. Anyway, we should all be getting back to class."

"Yeah… I'm glad you're all okay," Marinette said, giving Adrien in particular a meaningful look.

"You too, Marinette. I hope you feel better the rest of the day."

"I'll talk to you later, girl!" Alya said. "See you at lunch!"

"See you!" Marinette turned to Nino. "Shall we head on to the dreaded Philosophy class?"

"Yeah, I guess so. God, I'm ready for this class to be over for the year. M. Leroux is a total asswipe."

"Me too!"

[ac-ars]

drunk talking

ayy she is there she is done, its ta au which is always sin, more sin than normally, plus the prompt is sin so here you have it i hope you have fun 

day 5 - “I called one of the telephone numbers written in the toilet stall and now I want to fuck your voice”

🌙

drunk talking

Luna Valente lucked out today despite the fact she very, very overslept. It’s the worst day possible to be late, since today is supposed to be some test on chemistry and she was studying probably too long, because this very chapter has been such a bitch. Longer than others and mentioning more difficult shit and in general Luna just never liked this part of chemistry. They will never be friends and she guesses that it’s okay. Anyway, she was running around her apartment like a tornado, starting one thing and then another, without finishing the first one. She ended up washing her teeth and brushing her hair while wearing her underwear, one sock and a skirt. And when she was buttoning up her flowy, short sleeve shirt, she was also eating her cereal. That’s called multitasking and no one but Luna Valente in hurry can master it to this level.

She managed to catch subway, the one before the last possible she could take to be on time, she finished her tea on the go, and then ran a little towards the building in the campus, so now she is heading to the toilet, to gather herself together and look less like messy mess.

Those dark circles under her eyes really need to disappear under the concealer and her face would love to use a little blush, and those brown hairs that are sticking in every side probably will be happy to be hang out with a brush.

In the middle of miracle makeover Luna gets a text from Pedro, asking her where she is. She hums and rolls her eyes at this impatient asshole and answers that she will be there soon soon. Her thoughts kinda run away in some weird directions to what else should she do, maybe buy a bottle of water, but now or later? Does she have time for that? Will she go for lunch with Pedro later or will he be drama queen about how she cheated from his test? This eats definitely too much time of Luna’s while she is trying to untangle this messy ball of her hair under right ear, she looks around the ugly mirror until she spots some writing with permanent marker right below the corner of said mirror.

This part of the campus, more like this very specific building is waiting for some renovations out and inside, this means the toilets aren’t in the best state here. Not that they are stinky and disgusting, but there are weird writings around, some doodles and curses, many, many phone numbers. Luna isn’t a fan of ruining something, writing over something, because there are usually people who will have to work and clean it later or fix, and she is just a good person, trying to get them as little of unneeded trouble, as possible.

But! She leans her head to the left, to make sure all her hair where the tangle ball used to be, are fine and there is nothing to brush else. Her eyes follow all the writings on the tiles on the wall, wondering why are people like this, covering almost every small tile with some drawing. There is, though, this one number, written with bold, bold font, the digits seem to be a creation of someone writing the same number over and over again in the very same place, just making it more visible and bolder. She hums, because what could be so important, or who, to be left like this for future in ladies’ toilet. Luna, completely not sure what she is going to do with it, just saves it on her contacts and runs towards the class, because boy, chemistry is watching for her.

🌙

“What do we have tomorrow?” she asks lazily while playing with her empty glass after wine. Pedro looks at her with raised eyebrows and shrugs. “I don’t know. No test, that’s for sure, but I think we have physics.”

“Oh my, I don’t wanna,” Luna mumbles, cursing under her breath and he kicks her ankle softly. “Don’t pretend you don’t wanna go. You are dying to see that guy every damn week, Luna Valente.” He looks super smug right now and she opens her mouth wide, very offended.

“I very don’t are if it’s Matteo or not, the break is this weekend and everyone cancelled classes tomorrow except this asshole. I really don’t wanna see him.”

Her Spanish friend looks at her very skeptical and totally not believing her. “I can’t even imagine you looking or thinking about him anything but hungry, and it’s totally okay. We all have issues when it comes to hot people. For example I still can’t not stare at my English prof from the old times when I tried to study English.”

Luna rolls her eyes and crosses her legs. “I’m totally not staring at him any hungry.” The wine in her head isn’t really helping now when it gives her images of said Matteo Balsano, who looked incredibly attractive when she last time saw him. So attractive, that she actually missed what he was talking about at the end of the class, and missed why the whole group is so mad at him. Then Pedro told her, and now Luna and her brain have quiet days without imagining her ta before she goes to sleep.

“Yes, of course,” he says getting up and putting his empty glass on the coffee table and kissing top of the brunette’s head. “I’m gonna be going home since tomorrow we are seeing each other on physics. Please don’t waste yourself so I gotta come here and put you together.”

She pouts at this but sends him a kiss and he leaves, and she empties her own glass quickly, not sure what to do now. It’s gonna be probably boring, so she takes her phone and looks through all insta stories to check what’s going on around the world.

Ambar is hanging out with some weird goths again, but she seems happy or at least not annoyed so it’s a good thing already. Simon and his Roller bros are playing some concert in this small famous club on the other end of Buenos Aires and it’s like third Thursday in a row, so they told her she didn’t need to attend. Gastón is posting on his story some aesthetic pictures of student life in Oxford, selfies with some girl and generally pretty shit, while Nina is travelling around museums today, writing and writing. Not once has she said that art inspires her to make more art.

There is nothing much happening when it comes to people from uni, so Luna just opens her recently used apps, because why not really? She finds that she used contacts today, which is unusual; they don’t really call or text each other since she mostly uses whatsapp or messenger, or anything that requires only internet.

In her contacts she finds some new one, added today, and in a moment she remembers it’s the number from her uni toilet, which sounds all kinds of ridiculous, but also very appealing to her drunk, wasted and tired brain.

She clicks on it, her phone asks her if she wants to call or text, and first thing she does is pouring some more whine to her glass. It’s gonna be very interesting here and Luna giggles at herself, as she presses the call square on her screen. When she hears like fifth signal, she remembers what the fuck time it is, and calling anyone at this hour is super, super rude, but in the same moment she takes her phone away from her face to hang up, someone picks up.

“Hello?” some male, deep and raspy voice asks, and Luna’s first thought is oh fuck and second is oh fuck I woke this guy up. Before she manages to say anything, he adds impatient. “Is anyone there? If it’s nothing important, I’m ending this call, because I would really love to sleep-”

“Hi,” Luna jumps and he shuts up for a few super short seconds. “Um, I’m sorry, it’s a mistake.”

“A mistake?” he asks, “I don’t think calling anyone at this ungodly hour can be described as a mistake, little lady.”

She takes a deep breath and a sip of wine from her glass. “I, um, shouldn’t have called, but I am drunk and I was bored, and it just kinda happened. I’m sorry.”

The guy on the other side of the phone sighs heavily, even this sound is somehow hot, and at this point Luna can’t really care if he can be some disgusting creep, she will just block this number tomorrow plus she won’t really tell him any details. Bless her drunk brain always keeping her safe no matter what.

“Okay, tell me, should I have your number saved? Where did you even get mine?” he asks, his voice changes and maybe he is more awake now, which is bad and bad at the same time.

“No, no, I’m, it’s gonna be dumb as hell, but I found your number written on wall in the toilet in my faculty.”

The guy laughs quietly and sighs again. “Dear stars, why have I done this to myself? So you are a student?”

“Yeah, but that’s all I’m telling you. I don’t know who you are and I won’t tell you anything.”

Luna hears him humming longly. “You don’t know who I am then?”

“I just told you that!” She rolls her eyes and he laughs again, and she is kinda annoyed at this point. The guy seems amused, but then he clears his throat. He speaks, and his voice sounds kinda different. She is focusing on his voice too much. “I have few questions for you, actually, but they aren’t about any private shit, you don’t have to worry I will try to stalk you anywhere.” He stops for a moment and continues, Luna completely focused drinks her wine slowly, just to find her glass is empty and it’s a moment to fill it again, because she is oh so curious. “I’m just lowkey lost, it’s been years since I got this kinda call.”

“I get it, you know you can just hang up, though?” she asks, playing with a strand of her hair and makes herself more comfy on the couch. It’s dark, and quiet, and Luna wants him to talk to her endlessly.

“Nah, it’s okay, I wasn’t really sleeping anyway, so tell me, little lady I don’t know name of, why are you awake at this hour?”

Luna shrugs to herself, remembering just after a moment that he can’t see her. “I guess I’m not sleepy yet. Plus I still have wine to drink.”

She can’t see him either, but she is sure that he is smiling right now. And it feels weirdly good. “Perfect, I’m going to help you with falling asleep today, because I think it’s unfair to leave you alone, not being able to sleep, even if, as you said, you called by mistake.”

This is getting weirder, and weirder, and Luna Valente doesn’t mind at all. “How would you help me from there, wherever you are?”

“Oh don’t worry about that. Will you do what I tell you, though?”

She bites on her lower lip, thinking, and wine answers for her. “Sure.”

🌙

Damn, damn, damn. Damn everything, because here she is, late again, and it’s probably Pedro ringing her door bell. It’s a disaster, she went to sleep definitely too late for it to be any accepted and her friend is gonna kick her ass in a minute. Wanting or not, Luna needs to open him, he looks at her super angry, but as soon as he sees her, he laughs so loudly.

She pouts, but honestly she can’t be stressed at all after last night’s letting all tension out. She isn’t even feeling any disgust with herself as she is planning to block the number to this guy, in case he calls her or something. Pedro seems to be very smug, but she ignores that.

“How late are we?” The brunette asks, running around as he just goes to the kitchen and makes himself a coffee.

“We are on perfect time to manage. I decided to scare you a little so you hurry up your little butt faster around.”

As soon as she sees that, she growls and huffs and goes to her bedroom to get dressed, and bless this bastard for driving her today, because she isn’t in a mood for subway today. She will be paranoid and think that every hot guy is the guy. His voice and his ideas were hot as fuck, so it’s obvious her brain will just go towards the attractive men.

“What is wrong with you, little one? You seem absent today. Tell me, what time did you go to sleep?”

She just rolls her eyes and pushes him out of her apartment, despite the fact that he is still holding one of her cat mugs.

Pedro is driving very weirdly, or at least Luna thinks that. He is a mess, but she feels with him always safe, right now safe enough to focus on her thoughts as she is wondering what the fuck is wrong with her that she called this guy last night. What the fuck is wrong with her at all? She has no idea, but this was so weird and so hot, and the wine didn’t help her to chill. Her eyes are set on the road in front of them, and before she can wake up, they are on uni’s parking lot and Pedro is poking her on the cheek to leave the car.

“Okay, I know,” he says and Luna throws him a weird look. “You know what?”

“Drugs. I’m sure it’s this, because you haven’t trashed me one single time during the way here, and usually you keep telling me how to drive, even if you don’t own a car.”

She rolls her eyes. “I have just other stuff on my head. I will tell you later, but now I gotta go to bathroom, because you idiot didn’t let me brush my hair.”

“You look pretty, maybe Balsano will think your bed head is hot.” Pedro hums, but she just shakes her head and walks quickly to the closest bathroom, since she hates being late.

Her eyes are focused on the phone as she is checking the hour, until she bumps into someone violently; the other person steadies her with their hands on her shoulders. The brunette looks up and blinks surprised, seeing no one else, but her physics ta, leaving toilet for women, which is weird, but his eyes sparkling with amusement, and this smirk don’t really let her think longer about how unusual this is.

“Watch out, Luna, please. We don’t want you to end up on the floor, do we?” he asks with small smirk and she needs to calm her hormones, and this is going to be a problem, since all tension that left her last night is all back, twice as strong, because so close to Matteo she has never been.

The brunette manages to speak, though. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry about that. I hope nothing happened to you.”

He sends her a smile. “Oh, don’t worry about that.”

With this, he caresses her shoulders last time, and leaves, probably to his small office and then to class, which means she doesn’t have much time. She still needs to brush her hair, even if he already seen her. Pedro is gonna pay for saying it and messing with her (bad) luck.

She enters the bathroom and without anything just searches for her brush in the back. Her eyes automatically swim towards the bolded number on the wall.

It’s not there anymore.

🌙

Sitting on her seat in physics class, next to her best friend who knows fucking nothing, is the most difficult thing. She has no idea what people around her are speaking, but now her mind is busy with the fact, how something written who knows when, could go off so easily, when just the very day before it was there visible and healthy.

She has really no idea, this is so, so confusing and she can’t tell Pedro, because this asshole is going to make fun of her and say that she seriously needs to drink less and get laid properly, not by herself on the phone, but he is ridiculous jerk with issues, so maybe it won’t be that bad.

For now, Matteo is talking something to them, she doesn’t understand, her mind keeps repeating how he said oh, don’t worry about that and with each and every time she is less calm. He eventually lies his eyes on her, there is something in his look that messes with her every thought.

He winks.

She gasps.

[mintchocolateleaves]

希

Notes: In celebration of the lovely @bakathief ‘s birthday! @cherelleholmes and I worked together to make her a birthday ficlet, with a mixture of a story (by me!) and art (Cherelle!). This here, is the writing side!!

This is a KaiShin fic! The title ‘希’ translates into ‘hope’ and I sincerely hope you enjoy it! And of course again to @bakathief, happy birthday!!

The first time invisible hands scrawl ink into Kaito’s hand, it’s not meant as a message.

It’s the name of a book, a memo that Kaito glances down at. He’s heard of the book and even though he’s only thirteen, and the book is typically aimed at adults, it’s a trend that’s spreading through the school like wildfire.

Kaito looks down at the name of the mystery novel, rolls his eyes, and grabs his pen from where it’s been left at the edge of his desk. He’s never been the biggest fan of detective books, and so he crosses out the detective Samonji with a single line.

Then, he focuses back on his class, trying not to think any more about what the writing means. Soulmates, Kaito’s been told ever since he could listen to the words, have been capable of sending messages to one another with ink pressed against skin.

Kaito, who’s never looked too intricately into the scientific research available on soulmates, decides that he’s not going to make a big deal out of things. Or rather, he isn’t going to now, not when he’s in the middle of a math lesson, trying to focus on what his teacher is saying.

He feels more tingling on his hands. Glancing down shows that the message has been erased and rewritten. Kaito smiles, crosses it out again. This time, he adds a recommendation of his own, a more adventurous book with magic and fantasy intricated into the plot.

The recommendation – one of his favourite books of the year – is crossed out with the word ‘no’ written beside it. Then, the detective Samonji book is written out, the words – Stop crossing it out – written beside it.

His soulmate, Kaito presumes, is going to be fun to mess around with.

He crosses the title out again.

It’s not until a few days later however, that it really sinks in what this means.

Kaito is on his way to school, having walked half the route, Aoko swinging her bag as she walks beside him, when the realisation sinks in. He stops walking, almost abruptly, and tilts his head.

He has a soulmate.

Somehow, he’d thought he’d fall into the larger demographic of people without them. Kaito doesn’t know, but he’d always just assumed that the closeness he’s got with Aoko, their playfulness was something akin to romance, and yet – the universe has come to change things up for him.

He doesn’t even know his soulmate’s name.

All he knows is they’re Japanese – wait… not even that. He knows that they speak Japanese, and that they want to read a mystery novel. Kaito wonders whether he should read it, just to see if his soulmate has good taste.

“What’s up, Kaito?” Aoko asks, turning back to look at him.

Kaito offers her a smile, falls back into step beside her, and says, ���oh it’s nothing. I’m just thinking about my soulmate.”

Aoko takes it in about the way Kaito is expecting her to. She snorts, turns away from him and says, “Aoko pities whoever ends up being Kaito’s soulmate. The amount of stress they’ll have to go through while enduring all of the pranks.”

Laughter echoes the street, Kaito’s own, as he realises it’s true, and that if he’s going to impress (see: torture) his soulmate with various pranks, he’s going to have plan better things. Bigger ones – he’s working with someone who likes mysteries, he’s going to have to fool him.

Later, in class, he scrawls words onto his hand.

Did you read the mystery book?

He only has to wait a few seconds before the word ‘yes’ is scratched into his skin, something he removes with spit as he readies himself for a response. He doesn’t ask if he’d enjoyed it, because the Samonji books are on their forty-first edition and his soulmate wouldn’t be at this point if he didn’t like the series.

Who reads a series with more than ten volumes though – it’s unreal. That much content for a single series, Kaito wonders whether his soulmate has ever gotten bored of reading the same characters over and over.

Good, now you have time to read my rec!

The response is immediate. No.

Kaito pouts, and sticks his tongue out. Which, is hardly any use, seeing as Kaito is sat in the middle of class, reacting to someone who can’t see him, only the words written on his body.

Mean. Kaito writes in response, adding a small doodle of a sad face, and a thumb’s down. It’s a good book.

Maybe, but it’s not the genre I typically read.

Kaito decides that somehow or the other, he will force his soulmate to read the goddamned book. Even if he has to write the entire thing on his hand, sentence after sentence – he will succeed and force his soulmate to broaden his horizons.

I’m Kaito, he writes after a while. He’ll go through with the book idea on the weekend, he thinks. For now, an introduction will suffice. The response is longer this time, and Kaito isn’t sure why, but there is a hesitation, as if giving away names is something to be wary of.

It’s got to be all those mystery novels, making the other boy paranoid. They’re only teenagers after all.

I’m Shinichi.

They decide on rules as they continue to age.

Most of them, of course, are stupid rules that they’d follow without the need to make rules at all, but they’re there just for the comfort value. No messages to one another during exams. No writing on… intimate areas, or the face.

Obvious things that Kaito wouldn’t do, but wants to now that they’re rules. He’s always had an inclination towards breaking rules, something that he’s not really been disciplined against, and some days he finds himself wanting to break every rule they’ve place on themselves.

He doesn’t – although he often imagines scenarios where he does. Kaito thinks that he’ll spare Shinichi any trouble until they actually meet, and find their own boundaries as a pair.

A pair, because even by the time they turn sixteen Shinichi hasn’t been able to decide whether their soulmate bond is platonic or romantic. Kaito’s pretty sure with the faint amusement he feels every time he sees words pop up on his hands that it’s romance.

Oh well, Kaito will just have to let him remain oblivious. If only for now.

He almost puts all thoughts of romance on hold however, when he takes up the mantel of KID. Kaito dons the signature white suit, monocle and top hat, makes sure to wear gloves to avoid any police officers catching on to the fact that he’s got a soulmate.

And it works, for the two of them at least.

Kaito feels an all too familiar ache every time he reads about Shinichi’s day, about what he’s done with his friend Ran, the girl he seems to be completely in love with. And it churns his stomach because they’re soulmates and they shouldn’t… they should love each other, not other people.

Shinichi is throwing away the entire premise of soulmates.

It’s frustrating, unwritten words wrapped around Kaito’s throat, because he can’t write them, they need to be said, but he can’t just… Kaito can’t say them either, seeing as they’ve never even met.

They both live in Tokyo, and yet – Kaito feels a sigh rise, lets it slip from his tongue – they’ve never come across one another.

I want to meet you, Kaito writes one day, during the middle of science, when he should be listening to the teacher drone on and on about titration curves. He’s slightly sleep deprived, lacking sleep from his heist the day before, and he writes the words before he really thinks about it.

He’s not sure why he’s writing it, what exactly will change? They’ll meet, and then what? Shinichi will still love Ran, and Kaito will have to hide his feelings in person rather than in writing.

And yet, there’s also a part of him that hopes Shinichi will see him and realise. Everything muddles in his head, the thoughts malformed, interweaved from tired thoughts and painful optimism.

Okay, Shinichi writes back.

It takes a little longer for the words to come out, but they still appear. Shinichi’s hesitant… Kaito isn’t sure why he would be. He waits a little longer, thinks to himself a good enough date, or a place for them to meet.

Is Sunday okay? Shinichi writes. I’m at Tropical Land with Ran on Saturday. But the day after-

Kaito bites his lip. Their trip to tropical land together isn’t a… date, is it? He doesn’t feel brave enough to ask, so he doesn’t. Instead, he says Sunday sounds good, and they decide to meet in Café Poirot, in the Beika district.

The fact that they’ll meet soon, fills Kaito with a giddy sort of glee.

And he only has to wait a few more days.

Hey, I’m excited for tomorrow!

Kaito knows he probably shouldn’t write that, but he grabs a pen from his pocket in the evening, grins as he spreads ink across his hand. It smudges slightly, but he knows Shinichi will understand what he means, having been reading his handwriting for years now.

The ink sinks into his skin. It fades away.

And Kaito glances down at his hand, wondering where exactly the ink has gone because within all reason it shouldn’t be possible for ink to just disappear, not all at once within seconds – Shinichi isn’t that fast at washing things off.

His eyes widen.

Shinichi?

He adds, horror spreading through him when he realises that the words are disappearing before his very eyes. Kaito glances towards his laptop, practically dives towards it attempting to find a search engine that can explain this phenomena to him.

After fifteen minutes of searching, his heart thumping against his ribcage with a ferocity that makes him feel like he might pass out, Kaito clicks onto an old research project. He scours the page, breath stuttering in his chest as he realises that this… this can’t be possible.

Soulmates, the article reads, will only transfer words unto one another when they are both living.

Kaito blinks away something that might be tears, sees white and bites into his lip. They’re cracked, bleeding where his incisors have pierced skin and he almost feels as if this is some sort of bad dream, but when he pinches himself, Kaito does not wake up.

His heart aches.

His hand sends a jolt of pain down the bone as he flings it towards the wall, mutters ‘dammit’ as he slumps against his bed, knuckles split and bleeding, sore but not the type of pain he spends much time thinking over.

“I’ll go to the café tomorrow anyway,” Kaito mutters, because this must be a joke, he’d been talking to other boy earlier this morning, feeling angry about the boy’s connection with Ran, “he can’t be… he can’t be dead?”

Shinichi just… can’t be gone.

There is no one to greet him other than the waitress at the café.

Kaito sits in a booth by himself, waiting, fingers itching for the pen he carries for every message he sends to Shinichi, and shivers. He does a quick search in Shinichi’s name and tries to figure out the surname of the boy he’s fallen in love with.

They’ve never given them. In all the years, Kaito had always thought they’d exchange names upon meeting one another, it had been another silly rule they’d imposed, so the other couldn’t get any preconceived ideas about the other through the internet or the news or…

Now, he searches until his eyes grow wet, tears forming and dripping down into hot chocolate. He’s not cried in years, and yet now it feels too painful to keep up a poker face, especially when he feels he needs it the most.

It’s as if… some part of him has been severed and he doesn’t know how to cope without it. Red string cut, leaving him aching, lost without an idea of what he should do next.

He grabs his pen from his pocket, pulls off the lid and pushes a single line into his hand. The words fade, lost, just like his connection with Shinichi.

If anyone notices a change in Kaito’s actions following his planned meeting with Shinichi, they don’t bring it up. Maybe they realise something has happened because he’s not scribbling on his arm, or maybe they don’t pay enough attention in the first place, but there is no talk of Shinichi at all.

Kaito goes through his average day to day life, attempts not to think about the fact that Shinichi is obviously dead, and plans his heists instead. He searches newspaper articles for any mention of his soulmate’s death – finds nothing regarding a young teenager in the obituaries.

It does not fill him with hope, but rather, dread.

Something has happened to Shinichi and he will never know for certain what exactly that means. He throws himself into his work as KID, plans more and more heists, each one more outrageous that the others.

Kaito pushes himself every time he receives a challenge, becomes a better phantom thief than he’d ever imagined he could be, and slowly… he crumbles apart. He fades like the words against his skin until at last he finds himself a ghost, the perfect thief who wears nothing but a poker face and a faked, widened smile.

Time drags outward until finally he decides to steal the black star from the Suzuki family, people he vaguely recalls from conversations with Shinichi. Or rather, he assumes the youngest daughter is the Sonoko that Shinichi complains about.

Maybe a part of him is wishing to get some understanding about what has happened to his soulmate, to know whether he is dead or not, but Kaito isn’t sure. He’ll steal the jewel for the father he’s lost, and he’ll find out the truth about the soulmate who’s gone.

He’ll disguise as Ran. She’s easy enough to impersonate from the gushing rambles Kaito’s read over the years, and it’s not even like dressing up as her requires much work – she’s a good target. Plus… Even without him present, Kaito wants to be the object of Shinichi’s affections, even if he needs to be someone else to receive it.

Not that Kaito thinks the dead care for identity theft anyway.

Mouri Ran – a karate champion, it’s obviously the same Ran he’s heard about for years – will probably care for it. But he’ll give her a dose of sleeping gas, bring her to the brink of sleep before leaving her for the heist.

First, he’s got to send his heist notice. He wants to do it in two parts, one for April fools, to see who exactly he’s going up against, and the second part to ready himself for the actual event.

The fireworks catch him off guard when he climbs to the roof of a hotel. There’s a small child, arrogance rolling off of him in a way that catches him off guard, but he quickly catches himself, readies himself for the mass of police officers that he knows will arrive soon.

“I know you did that on purpose,” he tells the child, and then, “who are you?”

There hadn’t been any indication that a small child would show up at his pre-heist. It’s beyond late, and Kaito’s lacking any information on a child like this – probably just a straggler who’s somehow come across his heist notice, Kaito will have to research him a little more at some point, see what the internet brings up.

“Edogawa Conan,” the child says, “a detective. What will you do next?”

Kaito grits his teeth.

It’s not that he doesn’t have a plan – he does. Kaito’s got plans for every element of his heists, if something goes wrong he’s got hundreds of outs, multiple possibilities for what can happen as his crimes continue.

“You’ve really got me cornered kid,” Kaito lies. He glances at the police helicopters, imagines if Shinichi would have ever come to a heist, and turns away. He escapes with ease, leaves his heist notice behind, and tries not to wonder about a child wanting to catch him.

Of course, as soon he realises that Edogawa is living with Ran, Kaito knows he needs to mess with him a little bit. He’s got the biggest crush on his neechan that Kaito has to bring it up in some format.

He messes with him the littlest amount when they’re alone on the cruise ship, the black star in his hand. Kaito has to dodge a flying soccer ball, the force enough to break wall – frankly, he doesn’t deserve this – but it’s all worth it for the way the kid goes red at the thought of his precious neechan being left naked in one of the lifeboats.

Edogawa, however, is someone Kaito decides he doesn’t want to see again. He’s freakishly smart for a child, is only six or seven, and yet he’s capable of seeing through his disguises. Not even Aoko is capable…

So, with a wave, and a crackle of a smoke bomb, he removes himself, and the black star from the cruise ship.

Of course, because the world is cruel and seems to hate him, Edogawa continues to show up at heists. He thinks it’s Suzuki Sonoko’s fault, she’s practically as big a fangirl as he would be, if he weren’t actually KID. And it’s frustrating, because as much as he hates seeing the kid, it’s almost fun having heists where he needs to think on the spot.

Although, he does start to despise footballs. He’d be a masochist if he didn’t.

All of the heists with the kid are fine, Edogawa is scarily smart – which is alright, as long as he doesn’t get Kaito caught, or meddle too much – but ultimately, Kaito enjoys them.

Until, of course, he has to prepare for a heist where they stamp ink for recognition onto the hands of people who have been proven not to be KID. Kaito, still unable to place ink on his hand, less it disappear, finds himself borderline freaking out as he wonders who he needs to disguise as.

It takes a while to think over the possibilities. Until finally he remembers the way Aoko’s father, Inspector Nakamori, had found a soulmate in his wife, and hasn’t been able to write words against his own skin since she’d passed away years before.

He’s always avoided disguising as the man for that simple reason, but now… in a situation like this, it’s the only disguise he can really have.

Not even Edogawa seems to catch on, until he’s breaking free past the bottom floor, shimmying through a vent leading to the lower floors – his motorcycle is just out back, he’ll have to take that.

The gem feels like lead in his pocket. Even now, Kaito knows it’s not Pandora. He checks anyway, lifting the jewel up to the sky, peering through it to see the moon shining above.

The sky is warm, and the light is bright, but it doesn’t leave him washed in red, he is not blinded with red. Of course, he’s failing with Pandora, but it’s his goal and Kaito knows he’ll fulfil all goals he sets for himself.

Well… All but one.

He starts up his motorcycle, turns to glance over at the sound of footsteps. It’s only Edogawa – scarily smart Edogawa Conan – so he doesn’t feel the need to speed away immediately. They always seem to have short conversations, before Kaito makes his hasty exits.

“I didn’t expect you to impersonate the inspector,” Edogawa breathes when he comes to a stop, meters away from the motorbike. Kaito turns his head to glance at him, the front of his cap pulled down to cover his face. “Why would you make things harder for yourself like that?”

Kaito bites the inside of his cheek. He lifts his chin, and offers a smile, “I’m a magician, we like doing the impossible.”

“The inspector lost a soulmate,” Edogawa says, “ink disappears from his skin, not even magicians can fake that eff-”

The child pauses, glances down at the pavement. Something swims in his eyes, an emotion that Kaito doesn’t quite care enough to decipher, and after a moment, he clenches his hands together.

“You had a soulmate,” Edogawa says, more a statement than a question, “didn’t you?”

Kaito bites his tongue – the kid detective might have his respect, but he will not go into this with a child.

“I’m sorry.” Edogawa adds, and then, as if he’s not apologetic at all – “what happened to them?”

He smothers a bitter laugh. Kaito knows that as smart as Edogawa is, he’s still young, doesn’t deserve any spite thrown in his direction. And yet, still he feels it rising up, a twisted smile tugging at his lips as he looks the boy in the eye.

“Who knows,” he says, and with a flick of his fingertips, there’s a poof of smoke as he changes from a cap to his motorcycle helmet. He turns his keys in the ignition, heaves out a sigh. “Won’t you solve that one for me, detective?”

“Kaito,” Aoko says when she finally reaches her limit of sympathy regarding what she calls Kaito’s ‘Shinichi situation. “Aoko is getting tired of this, just talk to Shinichi and fix whatever argument the two of you have had.”

Kaito flinches at the idea of being able to fix anything, and shudders when he realises he’s never actually corrected Aoko on the fact that Shinichi’s dead, and not just ignoring him.

“It’s not that easy…” Kaito tries, raising his hands in a mock surrender. He’s been trying to keep an efficient poker face, and yet, he’s obviously let Aoko know that his ‘Shinichi situation’ is weighing on his mind more than he’s letting on.

“Of course it’s not,” Aoko sighs, exasperated as she stalks forward and crosses her arms. “It’s never easy to stop an argument because Kaito is way too stubborn to apologise for things, and the same goes for what Aoko knows about Shinichi.”

Kaito glances away, unable to refute because he’s always been strong-willed, but unwilling to admit that there’s a different reason. Both he and Aoko know that he keeps too many secrets, he’s not ready to disclose any of them.

“Kaito met with Shinichi right?” Aoko says, and Kaito doesn’t miss the movement of her hand flicking into her pocket, hand clenched around what he expects to be a pen, “did you two argue when you met one another, is that why you don’t write anymore?”

An awkward laugh. Kaito readies himself to leave his chair, to escape from Aoko in the small gap between class changeover, as they wait for their next teacher to enter the room.

“He didn’t show up,” the truth, although he doesn’t mention that he’d known from the evening before that Shinichi wouldn’t… couldn’t… show. “And we’ve not talked since. It’s not stubbornness, Aoko, it just is.”

Aoko shakes her head. “No, it’s more than that, Kaito is sad, and I want to make him feel better.”

She lunges forward before he has time to react. Which is certainly, something, seeing as she’s going up against Kaitou KID. Kaito moves just in time to avoid her arm crashing into his, moves his arm from reach as she uncaps the marker pen she’s been hiding in her pocket.

“Aoko what the hell?” Kaito says, as he scrambles away from his chair, jumping across one of the desks. Without any hesitation, Aoko continues to advance, weaving between their classmates as she attempts to mark his hand.

“Shinichi will respond,” Aoko says, “if Kaito just bridges the gap.”

Kaito lets his eyes widen. There is no talking to ghosts, just becoming a phantom himself during his heists. You can’t-

“I tried,” Kaito says, and Aoko falters just for a moment, “I’ve tried, so just leave it be-”

She doesn’t, she keeps coming nearer to him until finally Kaito is cornered, ready to slip away from Aoko’s grasp. And then – He feels pressure against his hand. Just a line, something he looks down at in horror.

He’d forgotten that Aoko would have asked for Hakuba’s help. Of course she would.

“What is wrong with-” Kaito pulls his hand back, away from their view, staring down at the marked skin. They’re… they’re going to know now, that Shinichi’s dead, that Kaito has been lying in order to make sure no one worries about him… “with…”

Except… the line doesn’t fade.

“What…?” Kaito breathes, glancing at the light blue that’s remaining in view. Aoko and Hakuba are quiet, watching as Kaito numbly returns to his seat, staring at the line as if it’s the most wonderous thing he’s seen in his life.

And then-

Kaito?

The writing is so familiar it sends a shiver down his spine, and it’s all Kaito can do not to sob in the middle of class. His poker face cracks, but holds together, somehow, as Kaito glances down at the same penmanship he’s been reading for years.

He reaches into his pocket, shiver running down his spine as he pulls out his own pen. Something easy to wash off, something that will be gone quick enough for a second message to take its’ place.

You died.

A pause – the ink doesn’t disappear, and yet the lack of an immediate response leaves acid churning in his stomach, nervousness filling him up, ready to spit him out with nothing but anxiety spurring his actions.

Almost. But I’m okay now.

Kaito lets out a staggered breath. Excuses himself from the classroom with the excuse that he needs the bathroom. As soon as he’s inside, he splashes water against his face, grabs his pen.

The ink kept disappearing. That only happens to the dead.

Another pause. It fills him with trepidation.

I’m sorry. It’ll be sorted soon, but I won’t be able to write again for a while. One day I’ll explain it to you.

This time, his breathing halts, shudders jarring through his body as bile rises to his throat. Shinichi’s going to just disappear again…? This isn’t how it’s supposed to work.

I’ll give you my phone number instead, okay? Kaito?

All Kaito can do, is nod. It’s half hearted, breathless, a response that Shinichi cannot even see, and yet, for a moment it’s all he can give. Then, he scrawls ‘yes’ against his skin.

Shinichi’s number, something Kaito types into his phone before the ink has any time to dry, stays on his hand for all of three minutes, until Shinichi rubs it off. He replaces it with, text me from now on, I don’t think we’ll be able to write messages for a while.

Kaito wants to know why, wants to find Shinichi and shake him until he figures out the reason why. Instead, he grabs his pen and writes.

If you’re alive, why’d you miss our meeting?

This time, the words fade.

Kaito doesn’t have the courage to ask through text.

Knowing that Shinichi, is, in fact alive, brings less comfort that Kaito would have expected. Mainly, because it brings more questions. Why hadn’t Shinichi arrived at the meeting they’d set up? If Shinichi’s alive, how come their bond had been broken, something that breaks only when a person dies.

And Shinichi himself – he’d known more, had stated he couldn’t explain right now, but that eventually he could… Kaito isn’t sure what that means, and the ‘almost’ dying leaves Kaito with unreasonable chills as he tries to figure out what it means.

He can’t just ask, but he can attempt to do some research. Not as himself, of course, because he doesn’t want anyone to lead it back to him and start treating both Shinichi and him as biological anomalies, but he is KID, so disguising himself will be fine.

Kaito creates a fake identity, gets the paper work together and assumes the role of medical reporter Haneda Satoshi. His fake ID and papers get him into a research lab with leading soulmate researcher Ito Megume.

“So,” Ito begins once they’ve both sat down, a coffee table between the two of them. Kaito pulls out a notepad from his bag, a voice recorder too, just so he fully fills the role of reporter. “You have some questions for me?”

Kaito nods. “Yes, we want to run a special on soulmate bonds, seeing as many people know next to nothing about them.”

He turns the recorder on, presses the record button.

“That’s because most people don’t show physical traits,” Ito begins, “so they think they don’t have a soulmate and they don’t learn about the bonds.”

“How do we know that everyone has a soulmate if we can’t see it?”

“Well…” The researcher taps a finger against her chin, takes a moment to think. “The signs are all very different. We know the obvious yet rare signs of soulmates, ink transferring across skin, birthmarks that match that of your soulmate. But there are more internal ones – sharing one’s pain across two people, being more in tune with one another’s emotions.”

Kaito nods.

“Soulmates are always present. There’s always a red string of fate that keeps us tied together, whether we wish for it to or not, whether it’s easily seen or not.”

Now, Kaito leans forward and crosses his arms. He rests his notebook on his knee, pretends that he’s looking at a question before proceeding.

“And these red strings of fate, there’s no way of breaking them?”

Ito shakes her head. “None, not if we’re excluding death. You can’t just decide, ‘this person isn’t going to be my soulmate anymore’, they’ll always be there, whether you decide to act on it or not.”

Confusion blossoms inside him like a flower. “Do you mind if I use an example, for a moment?”

The researcher nods, grey strands of hair drooping by her ears from the bun she’s pulled her hair back into. “Go ahead.”

“I’ll use a physical trait,” Kaito begins. “The soulmate bond where ink transfers across to the user, for example. When a person dies, the ink has nowhere to go, so it disappears, right?”

Ito nods.

“But suppose,” Kaito continues, “the ink disappears when they’re both still alive. Is there a way that could be possible?”

The researcher rubs at her ear as she thinks, before shaking her head. She says, “I don’t think so. As soon as both soulmates reach puberty, their bond comes into effect. It’s irreversible while alive. Only children and the dead don’t carry the bonds.”

Kaito nods, despite the fact none of this makes sense.

By the time he leaves the room, he’s determined to find an answer. He pulls out his phone, pulls up Shinichi’s number and sends out a text, demanding he explain everything.

Soon, Shinichi texts back. As soon as I can, I will.

Soon turns out to be three months later.

Shinichi sends Kaito a text message when he is scoping out his latest heist location, dressed as a maintenance worker in order to get some idea of the electronics within the area.

Kaito glances at his phone, opens the text and blinks at the fact that there’s just a location. Sakura bridge. He stares, takes a moment to think about how long it’ll take to drive there – with his motorbike, it should take no more than twenty minutes.

Come now, Shinichi adds after a moment, if you can.

Kaito responds that he’ll be right there. It takes a minute to worm his way out of the maintenance work, another minute to shed his disguise and get into the car park.

“Shinichi,” Kaito says, but the name is swallowed up by the sound of his motorbike as he revs and makes his way out of the car park.

Sakura bridge, despite its name, is not littered with cherry blossoms. The nearest plant to the bridge are hedges, perfectly cut – the trees that could leave cherry blossoms floating among those wandering across further back from the bridge.

It’s not packed, like Kaito remembers it being during festivals, which should make it easier to find Shinichi. He bites into his lip, realises that without an idea of the person he’s looking for, they won’t be able to find one another.

As soon as he comes to this realisation, Shinichi seems to as well. His phone buzzes with an incoming call, and Kaito presses answer with a quiet trepidation filling his bones.

“Kaito?” Shinichi asks, when he realises Kaito’s not spoken first. His voice is soft, slightly worried but with a kindness to it that Kaito had thought would sound sarcastic instead.

“I don’t know what you look like,” Kaito finally says, and he turns, glancing around the entirety of Sakura bridge for a teenage boy and coming up short. There are many, but he doesn’t really think they give off a Shinichi vibe. “I’m going in blind here.”

“Yeah,” Shinichi says, “we’ll meet in the middle, and then… well, I’m wearing a red scarf, if that helps?”

There are hundreds upon thousands of red scarfs in the world, and yet, somehow it does. Kaito hums approval, walking further down the bridge until he’s at the centre, his eyes searching around for red fabric.

“Okay,” Kaito says after a moment, running a hand through his hair and messing it up further, “I’m here. Are you?”

“Yeah.”

Kaito’s pretty sure that he sees him then, red fabric across a teenager who he knows as Kudo Shinichi from newspapers. A face missing from the news as long as their bond has been broken.

For a moment, Kaito can only stare, ignoring the voice from the phone. This is – He’s –

Alive.

Clicking the call off, Kaito pockets his phone, walks up behind Shinichi, and taps on his shoulder. Shinichi turns, offers a smile and says, “you must be Kaito.”

“Shinichi,” Kaito says, “you’re late.”

The detective frowns, confusion across the lines of his forehead. After a second, they fade into a grimace, “the café meeting… I’m sorry about that – I can exp- Kaito… are you crying..?”

Shinichi takes a step towards him, looking uncertain about whether he should just stand there, or attempt to comfort him. His awkwardness only grows as Kaito lifts his fingers to his cheeks, surprised at the absence of any mask.

“Yeah,” Kaito says, wiping away his own tears. “I am.”

He offers a smile, the brightest he can in an attempt to override the idea that his tears are caused by sadness, and adds, “I guess I just thought I’d never get the chance to meet you.”

Because Kaito had thought–

Shinichi glances away, almost guiltily.

“I’m happy,” Kaito says, urges himself to release the small laugh that’s been bubbling up his throat, “even if it’s a little late.”

Shinichi turns back now, eyes steeled as if he’s ready to tell a painful story. Kaito wonders whether he’ll be dragged into sharing his own, he rather hopes he won’t be.

“I’m am sorry,” Shinichi says, “I wanted to tell you I wouldn’t–”

“It’s okay,” Kaito says, and he points towards the end of the bridge, in the direction of a small café that they could make their way towards. He thinks he’s told Shinichi about it before. “Just explain it now.”

Shinichi nods. Together, they start walking towards the edge of the bridge.

“Explain everything.”

[sammy-moo]

Senior Year

Characters: Sam x Reader, OFCs

Words: 1,747

Warnings: Slight fluff, underage drinking

A/N: This is for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s Seasons of Love - Colors of Fall Challenge. My prompt was new school year. This was also inspired by this song 

The sun filtering through the blinds in the window, casting it’s light across the desks in the room. It made the room you were sitting in much more cozier than you’d like, and some already took the chance to fall asleep while the teacher read through the handbook. It happened every year on the first day, and when the second class usually rolled around everyone was tired of it. Of course, hearing it for the fourth year in a row you swore up and down teachers cared less and less about it.

But tuning out the teacher’s bored tone was more than easy. Instead you let the sound of the clock ticking and the soft snores from the resting students fill your ears; leaving your mind wandering, daydreaming about after school or even after graduation melted away. Instead, your mind was clouded with the thoughts of the new guy sitting a few desks adjacent of you. He was in clear view as the few students between were sleeping, or ducked down doodling to pass the time.

You already glanced him over a few times, but this time you picked up more than before. It was evident in his hazel eyes just how bored he truly was; yet they glowed in the sun. The hazel seemed to shift to a golden hue, the shades flickering like fire as they sat in their place surrounded by the dark circles. His tousled, chestnut locks shone and hid away parts of his face. He shifted slightly at his desk before turning to glance at the clock on the wall just beyond you.

That’s when his hazel eyes met your’s.

Confusion danced across his face as his eyes quickly darted up to the wall. The teacher’s voice began to slowly come to an end, informing everyone they had a few minutes to talk before the bell rang. Those that weren’t napping took their chances to talk to their friends if they had any, while some even took the chance to talk to the new kid.

You didn’t have any friends in the class really so you decided to eavesdrop, listening to them talking with Sam. He was hesitant in the way he spoke, taking the time to think before he spoke. He was smart and very distant, which made you all more curious.

Sam shifted a bit in his seat as they began asking questions, trying to get a glimpse into his life and why he moved here. It was often a topic Sam avoided, and tried to change quickly. It felt weird having all this sort of attention on him. It hadn’t been like this in awhile because he was usually the freak or the new kid no one was interested in. Sam glanced to the clock again, noticing one of the girls glancing again. Out of all the things in the room that had made him uneasy that had to take first place. Everyone was so interested in dating him or befriending him, and he was definitely chalking it up to the fact it was a small town. It luckily had a Wal-Mart and a motel for him and Dean to reside in for the next few weeks.

When the bell rang, students emerged from their seats to head to their next class which left Sam forgotten. He was grateful of course, but you managed to escape the room at the same time as he did.

The two of you bumped into each other a bit, leaving you blushing and stumbling over your words trying to form an apology. With Sam being Sam, this made him an awkward moose.

“Sorry about that.”

“No,” you said faster than you imagined. Your eyes widened and you quickly looked away at the passing students and back to him, “It was my fault. I should’ve let you go first. I uh…. See you around Sam!”

Sam’s brows furrowed as he watched you hurry off, racking his brain for what your name was as he went to his next class.

It wasn’t until Sam saw you at the gas station that he remembered your name.

You just finished spending the time at the park with some friends, and walked into the gas station to get some snacks. The three of you had decided to drink in the basement and have a small, first day party. It was a tradition the three of you came up with back in ninth grade, and the beverages didn’t turn into alcohol until junior year.

You browsed the isle full of candy, mumbling to yourself what they wanted.

Sam chuckled as he heard you mumbling.

You glanced up to him at the end of the isle, reaching into the cooler to grab a water. You took account of all the sugary things he had loaded in his arms with the small, freshly made salad from the sub station. “Guessing the salad is gonna make up for all those sweets?”

Sam blinked then chortled, “Oh uh no. These are actually for my brother. The salad is for me though.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yeah. I should go. It was nice seeing you, Y/N.”

You frowned, “Why don’t you join us? It’s just gonna be me and two others drinking in their basement.”

“I have errands to run with my brother before my dad gets back.”

“Oh. You sure your dad and brother won’t mind?”

Sam thought it over, remembering how his brother was going to help their dad with a hunt later tonight while Sam was going to be stuck at the motel.

John always had a tendency to leave Sam out of the hunts, especially since their fights have gotten worse. Thankfully after this year Sam would no longer be around so he could go to Stanford.

“Please? We won’t be out super late so incase you’re trying to keep a clean record for some super duper smart, fancy college you’ll be fine.”

Sam chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes boring into you. Something about you drew him in even though just earlier that day you made him uncomfortable. But it wasn’t until after class he realized you were trying to figure him out. Unlike everyone else you didn’t bombard him with questions or try to pry. Nor did you catch him off guard or seem like you needed to know. Everyone else needed to know about him- needed to be his friend. It was something he’d seen plenty of times with his brother but never him.

Dean.

If he knew that you were asking for Sam to party, he’d urge him. Dean had always wanted Sam to have as much of a normal high school experience that he could. He’d try to persuade him to go to football games or even the dances. Every time Sam’s answer was always the same. He’d only gone to one dance to find out it wasn’t his thing. The football games and dances were more of Dean’s thing than his. Sam would rather spend the night reading or studying; maybe even helping with a hunt instead of being in a room of sweaty people doing what they claimed as dancing. Which in all reality was just them grinding and dry humping to music.

Your eyes were pleading with his, hoping that they could reach to him somehow and make him say yes. You sucked in a breath as the time felt like it was dragging by.

“Just let me run this stuff to my brother first?”

You smiled and grabbed the snacks, “Deal. We can give you a ride.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can walk. I don’t mind. Just give me the address?”

“You’re new in town. Rather you not get lost or even killed.”

Sam’s face drained at the mention of being killed. Either you knew what was out in this world, or you were completely oblivious. Any answer had his stomach turning.

“I’m kidding!”

Sam nodded and followed to the check out, “Right…”

You smiled softly as the two of you paid and went out to the car. You informed your friends as the two of you climbed in the car, taking Sam to the motel to drop off the stuff for his brother.

Your best friends turned to you, questioning the same exact thing as you.

Why on earth was the new kid going to a motel?

Before the three of you could come up with some guesses, Sam was coming back and climbing in.

“I uh, I can’t stay out too late.”

“No problem Sam,” said Lindsay from the driver’s seat.

Silence filled the car and even the journey into Heather’s basement. Heather was quick to getting the alcohol and getting everyone some. The whiskey burned down leaving everyone sucking in a breath. It slowly killed the nerves and silence as laughter and chatter filled the room.

Two hours flew by until Sam was getting up to leave, “Thanks for inviting me but I should get going.”

You watched as he awkwardly wiped his palms on his jeans before heading for the stairs. You were quick to get up and follow.

“Let me walk you back,” you called out until you caught up to him at the top of the stairs.

Sam shook his head, his locks swaying in the motion. “You don’t have to do that. Besides, I’d rather you not. It’s not safe.”

“It’s safe. I always walk around.”

Before he could protest any more you linked arms and lead him out towards the motel.

“So can I ask why you live in a motel?”

Sam gulped thickly, the alcohol not filtering much of his words as the truth damn near came spilling out. “We move around a lot. My dad has this job that requires him to travel.”

“That must be fun, getting to see different places.”

Sam shrugged, “Not really. Not when it’s constant....”

“That sucks… I mean moving constantly, not getting to keep planted or make friends. Must be annoying always being the new kid.”

Sam nodded, “It is. That’s why I can’t wait to run off to college.”

“Senioritis already?”

Sam laughed, “More like homeoritis.”

You started laughing at the horrible joke that had Sam even cringing after he said it.

“All the places get blurry…. There’s some I remember and some places were nice, but I didn’t get to enjoy it that long.”

“Well I’m gonna make this place one you’ll remember then Sam Winchester. That’s a promise.”

Tagging:  @sleepywinchester, @hay-yo-its-jo, @timeforsmut, @goldenangelbloodcastiel, @because-imma-lady-assface, @growningupgeek, @abbessolute, @keelzy2, @wideawakeandwriting, @super-not-naturall, @babypieandwhiskey, @wi-deangirl77, @ilsawasanacrobat, @becs-bunker, @inlovewithbja, @squirrel--moose--giraffe–, @mistressofallthingsgeeky, @theoutlinez, @samwinjarpad

[gracieisnotmuchofawriter]

Alone (Therapists & Children)

A couple years ago, I met someone who meant the world to me. His name was Robin. We sat in that room lit with bright orange lights. Steps ran down to the center where a piano sat. A projector sat atop the ceiling, pointing towards a white sheet just behind the piano. Off to the side sat a shelf with a stereo on top. The walls were dark, brown and obviously made of wood. Squares of foam sat a few inches apart across the walls. The entrance sat off to the side, on the other was a closet that stored all of the chairs. I sat at the back with all of the Mezzo’s. Ms. Curtis had trouble gauging what my range was. We were doing these team building exercises, to find our voices and sync up. When she got to the Mezzo’s she was very disappointed when she found out I had never sang a word in that room. She gave me Mezzo because of my speaking voice. So I sang throughout that hour with everyone who was just now realizing I existed.

  I didn’t sync well with the Alto’s because my voice was a little too high. Finally, she decided I was a Mezzo Soprano, so she grabbed a random Baritone Bass off the shelf to start the usual exercise. He sat down and it was the first time I was ever interested in a boy. He had big brown eyes, messy red curls on his head, all styled forward. He always looked so cool in those blue, slim fit jeans, slip-on Vans, some short sleeved button up shirt. His face wasn’t hard, it was soft but defined. We connected after the teacher found out we both hadn’t sang a word in that room. What started out as a team building exercise turned into another search for this boy’s proper range. She told me to sit back down and—as she put it—“Just, wait until we’re done.”

  When it was all said and done, the bell rang. It was the last hour of the day. Afterward we properly met after school. He walked me to the bank my aunt worked at, our conversation was easy enough. He took me out. It was the first time I wore a dress since I was four. I met his friends, they became my friends. They bought me an Xbox. This boy and I had sex, it was my first time. Then senior year happened. Texting everyday turned into a few texts throughout the evening. Weekends turned into a few texts in either the afternoon or the evening. All of the sudden, in October, he announced he was moving to California to be with his mom and dad. He stopped coming to school. He stopped talking to me. He stopped talking to his friends. Or at least I thought. I remember jumping online, seeing my brother on, he was talking to someone, I could hear him. I thought it was everyone else. It was Robin, the boy I was seeing.

  The next day, it felt like everyone was staring at me. My stomach felt hollow, my heart ached, I felt tired, hungover. I floated through the day, I slept in my history class. My friends (his friends) tried talking to me at lunch, but I couldn’t pay attention. I complained about an upset stomach and called Brielle. Her and her girlfriend picked me up. My room felt so big and empty. The white bumpy walls, the dark brown floors, the glass desk in the corner, the TV just above my dresser in front of my bed. My bed’s white blanket, my tan pillowcases. Everything just looked bland and lifeless. I ignored my brother through the rest of the week. He didn’t do anything wrong, though, he just thought I was still talking to Robin, he didn’t know, no one knew he ignored me like that.

  Today, my heart swelled to the size of a grapefruit. My lungs felt punctured. My chest felt like a cinderblock laid atop of it. I sat in the bathroom heaving, trying to catch my breath. No one heard me, Asha went home for the weekend, the girls on the other side went home as well. The ringing in my ears became louder. A harsh pressure pressed onto my sinus’, tears came out of my eyes. It felt like pins kept stabbing my back and across my shoulders. I laid down on my side, curling up into a ball.

  “Jude’s not the same.” I kept groaning through my heavy sobs.

  Jude went home to Lincoln, to see their family, their siblings. Apparently their brother had a kid recently. Jude left on Thursday, they haven’t texted me back. It’s Saturday.

  My brain kept bringing up terrible thoughts, the more I ignored them the louder they got.

  ‘Jude’s done with you.’

  ‘Jude’s tired of you.’

  ‘Jude’s bored of you.’

  ‘Jude knew you were irritating the day you bitched about lying to your instructor.’

  “No, they’re just busy.”

  “No, they’re just busy.”

  “No, they’re just busy.”

  “No, Jude didn’t care, they really just wanted me to move past it.”

  ‘Jude’s just another Robin. For good reason.’

  ‘Jude should move past you if this is how you react to a couple days of silence.’

  ‘Maybe your mom knew how much of a wreck you are, maybe that’s why she left you.’

  I got off the bathroom floor, I walked into my room, my eyes stung, my back hurt, my stomach hurt. I opened my drawer, finding that pill bottle. “Take one(1) as needed”. I dropped two tablets into my hand, stuffing them into my mouth. I grab my bottle of water, washing the pills down into my stomach. I stumble back, chest still on fire, thoughts still racing. I curl up onto my bed. I want my aunty.

—

“Jude’s memo, September Twenty-Eighth.

‘Eggs, milk, diet soda, Gatorade and a gift for this cute girl I met at school.’ That’s my list for today’s outing. It’s a relatively humid day, my hair feels all flat and my face feels like a cheeseburger. My armpits are kinda yeasty and I don’t care, nothing’s gonna stop me from wearing a tank top today. Anastasia carries my sweater so if those clouds man up and actually do something, I got something to cover up with. Also, I need to pay my phone bill. It’s prepaid, thank god, so no late fees.

I started making these after mom died, our families never been the same. But my brother’s kid being born has done the impossible. I’m driving down to Lincoln to meet up with my sister and we’re gonna go see his beautiful little family. We’re gonna lay our mom to rest, properly this time. When it happened, my siblings and I couldn’t bear to be around each other, we all just saw our mom in each other I guess. Each other. Us. It still really hasn’t hit me that we’re all gonna be in the same room together again. It seems so far away that I’m wondering what Amber might like from Lincoln, what can I find her that she’ll get excited about. Me,

Jaime and Judith are gonna be in a room again but all I can think of is my stupid crush. She’s not stupid, the act of thinking about her over this momentous occasion for the Kent family is strange and dumb.

I don’t know... Amber. She might just be a crush, just a curiosity for the school year, I mean, I’m not even sure if I like graphic design. I like doodling, I like making things, but advertising? Is that me? Maybe Amber is just someone to distract me from those fucking questions, but at the same time, her face keeps popping into my head, I can hear her voice if I just imagine it, I don’t know. She’s much, uh, ‘looser’ these days. She doesn’t seem so tense, so distant. I’ve been sitting next to her in Digital Layout One for the entire year so far, this week was the first time I saw her usually milky face turn colored, splashes of pinks on her cheeks, her lips seem, I don’t know how to describe it, but she seems like there’s just more life to her. Her shoulders slump more, her legs don’t bounce like crazy, her hair sits behind her ears more, she takes off that big ass sweater she’s been wearing. She replaced it with a much more comfortable cardigan. She just seems healthier. Probably because a friend sits next to her. But how ethical is it? I mean, this only started because I have a crush on her. Is this okay? Is it okay to pursue her with the slightest expectation that I might get some coochie at the end of this? The answer is probably no, especially given for the fact that I know next to nothing about her, her past, her wants and her needs. I mean, maybe it’s too early to judge things, perhaps I should slow down this thought of not knowing her well enough, the ethics and just have fun. She likes me well enough, I think. We laugh a lot, she shares her sense of humor with me. I mean, she made a sex joke earlier this week, and it was a fucking cute one at that! Jesus, what do I do? I want McDonald’s, there’s one in Missouri Valley, I’m gonna check it out, give’em a visit, see how those nuggets have been. Does Amber like McDonald’s, I mean we got Chipotle and Taco Bell, she must like McDonald’s. Or maybe she’s just too polite to ask, like I say I want Chipotle and she just goes with it. Maybe these questions are best suited to ask her and not the woman who’s gonna listen to this with me on Monday, Hi Jamie! What do I do? What would my mom say? She’d probably tell me just follow my heart because she really had nothing else to add, she always thought me being wholly queer meant she couldn’t give me adequate advice, but that’s not true, when she did give me advice, it was always fucking good, it was exactly what I needed to hear, even if I didn’t want to hear it. I know examples would be better, but, this recording is getting a little long. My mind is a bit wild today. From meeting Amber, to my brother and his girlfriend finally popping that kid out, getting to see my sister Judith after four fucking years. Maybe the reality of seeing everyone is actually hitting me, maybe I am really nervous and I’m just trying to use Amber as a shield from all of this.”