#Also been making progress in Shadow Generations

[charlidrawz]

Yes I preordered Sonic the Hedgehog 3 for my husband & I as soon as I could

No I don't have a problem

[thru-the-veil]

Where to Next? Pick a Pile General Reading

I have been made aware that several people may be going through a large shift in their daily lives, spirituality, family life, ect. This is a collective pick a pile reading, helping anyone that may be going through a time of confusion.

This is a general reading, if something doesn't align, discard the detail or pick a new pile. If you need professional help, please seek it.

Pile Number One:

It seems you have been dealing with a huge lack of clarity. Your next step is to drastically change, but forces outside of yourself have been holding you back. You are drawn to the idea of rediscovering yourself and renewing yourself, but haven't been able to put the work in. This may be because you are clinging to the past. There may be struggles with a masculine authority figure, perhaps a father, who is pushing back on your change. You are going to have to fight against these forces in order to begin discovering and healing, but you are already very tired from fighting in your childhood.

You are being called to trust in your strength. You are protected, and you have everything you need to begin the process of overcoming. You have done it once before, you can absolutely do it again.

Now is the time to put your plans in motion, escape your circumstances, and build confidence in yourself.

Your angel number is 0220.

Pile Number Two:

Your next step is to be still. You have been putting a lot of work into building your trust in yourself, in your intuition, and perhaps even your psychic powers. Your glow up has been making people jealous of you, and they have been actively trying to drain your energy. You may also be starting to feel overconfident, leaving the mindset of a student before you are ready. All of this commotion and shifting has been making you feel a bit burnt out, especially spiritually.

You are being called to look inwards and spend time with yourself. Do some shadow work or meditation. Cut off people who you may be suspicious of. Be honest with yourself and actively find more aspects of your life you can improve on or more things you can learn, rather than believe you're ready to become a teacher. Your confidence is good, but it's getting in the way of true rest and introspection.

Now is the time to be honest with yourself and spend some time in much needed silence.

Your angel number is 1011.

Pile Number Three:

Currently, your social life is a mess. You are currently weeding out those who cannot be trusted, and drawing people closer to you who you can trust. More than likely you are dealing with the fallout of some large drama, perhaps concerning members of the opposite sex from your friend group. If it hasn't happened yet, there may be a time rapidly approaching where people close to you will let the mask slip. Your progress may be halted as you deal with this situation. You may feel as if you have to pick a side, urged to get caught up in the whirlwind because these are people you care about, no matter how messy they can be.

Your next move is to take a big step back. If this hasn't happened yet, maybe now is the time to go quiet before you're suddenly caught in a soap opera episode. Keep your trusted ones close and your enemies far away. This was nessecary for the highest good of you all.

Now is the time to remove yourself and build relationships with people who you love, and who love you.

Your angel number is 0505.

Pile Number Four:

You have just stumbled upon a very powerful version of yourself, completely by accident. You put yourself first in a very stressful situation, and you have discovered you are gaining nothing but benefits for doing something you may have considered mean, or even hateful. This isn't the case, you have just stood up for yourself. Many people don't like it when a people pleaser puts themselves first, after a long time of letting others dictate their happiness. It was a spur of the moment decision, and you may feel conflicted about the situation.

This is a learning moment for you. Balance yourself, know there is a difference between being a kind person and being an absolute doormat. You've been trained through punishments as a child to avoid displeasing others. Ignore their judgements and ridicule. They will fall by the wayside eventually, and make room for more people in your life who will respect your strength and boundaries.

Now is the time to continue this new trend and not allow anyone to treat you badly.

Your angel number is 6666.

[freshxsturniolo]

how much did you hear? chris sturniolo x femreader 

SUMMARY :chris and nick think you're fast asleep on the couch after watching a movie and chris confesses he's in love with you. 

You feel your boyfriend pull the blanket down and over your feet as you feel his weight shift from the sofa, his thighs you'd had your feet tucked under now replaced by the blanket and the absence of his arm across the length of your leg as his hand had been resting at your hip. You had fallen asleep, for sure, and you could hear the soft sound of some music playing on the TV rather than the movie you had just been watching, but you were too tired to even stir, so you allowed yourself to fall back into a soft slumber. You could hear brief sounds around you, but you knew sleep would come over you again soon. 

Chris had been your boyfriend for the last 6 months, and you had never felt anything like what you did for Chris with anyone else. You were nervous at first, knowing Chris had voiced his fear of relationships in the past, but it had progressed much quicker than either of you had anticipated. You were each others shadow, and if you weren't together you were sending each other randoms messages, letting the other know you could wait to see them again, or that you were you simply thinking of the other. It was wholesome, that was the best way you could describe it. On this particular day, you were both so tired and wanted nothing more than to be in each other presence. Both being tired from working and some other social events that had left both your social batteries a little drained and your bodies a little sleep deprived, so a movie on the sofa had been the perfect idea. Matt and Nick had also joined, but at some point Matt had gone to his room and the chuckle you just heard from Nick confirmed he had stayed for the duration. In your light sleep, you heard both Chris and Nick enter the kitchen just behind you, and the general clatter of them moving around, grabbing drinks and more snacks, no doubt getting ready to turn on their consoles and play something together whilst you slept, which only made you nuzzle your head into the cushion you were lay on even further, feeling less guilty for falling asleep instead of spending time with your boyfriend and his brothers. But just as you were about to doze off, you heard Nicks voice. Soft, so not to wake you, but unaware you were only lightly falling asleep.

"I love that Y/N feels comfortable enough to just come over and sleep like this, with all of us in the room." You smile at Nicks words, eyes still closed, glad that he had noticed that not only had Chris become a comfort for you, so had Nick and Matt. "She loves you guys." Chris speaks. "Good. Cause we love her." Nick says. There's silence, and you open your eyes slightly. You were facing the TV and didn't want to draw attention to the fact you were awake, but suddenly you wanted to hear in. You had sometimes felt a burden to the three triplets since becoming Chris' girlfriend. He spent less time alone with them these days and you were afraid Nick and Matt resented you for that, so to hear they didn't could only make your heart sing. But your heart stopped singing, and suddenly it was dancing out of your chest when you heard Chris speak next. "Nick, can I tell you something?" he said, and he almost sounded scared. Anxious. Like he wasn't sure how to get his words out. There was silence from his brother and you had wipe your tongue across your teeth, suddenly feeling your mouth go dry. "What?" Nick said. Silence again, but you strained your ears to listen. "I'm in love with her." Your eyes were wide. Your heart was hammering in your chest. You had an inkling over the last few weeks that Chris was going to tell you he loved you. The way he looked at you sometimes when you were sat in silence. The way he had started lingering around your mouth after a kiss, like he wanted to say something. The way he said your name to get your attention and when you asked what was wrong, he would smile and say nothing and go back to what he was doing. It was giving your butterflies every time, and there were times you had almost said it for him, because you too loved him. So much. "I know." you hear Nick say, and you have to stifle a laugh so they don't know you're awake. "You know?!" Chris speaks now, and theres a pitch to his voice. "Chris, the whole world probably knows. It's so obvious" Nick says again. "Have you told her?" "No" Chris sighs. "So tell her."

You were itching to sit up. You wanted him to tell you, so badly. And you wanted to tell him back. But something about telling him in front of his brother didn't feel right. "What if she doesn't say it back, bro?" You practically hear the eyeroll Nick gives him. "I promise you, she will." Theres silence again. And you can hear them opening cupboard doors once more, the conversation now turning to something completely different, and you don't know how you're going to pretend to be asleep when they come back. You felt hot, the overwhelming feeling to rip the blanket from your skin was overpowering and you wondered if you could get away with acting like you had only just risen, when announced he needed the bathroom. "I'll be 2 minutes, get the game ready." Your heart starting hammering again as your heard Nick run upstairs to his bathroom, closing your eyes quickly knowing he would have to pass you as he did so, but you opened them again once you heard his footsteps disappear. But then the moment you opened your eyes, you heard your boyfriends footsteps come closer, and you knew it was too late. Your eyes locked. He stopped in his tracks. Can of Pepsi in hand and a bowl of chips in the other. You smiled, and the blush appeared on his cheeks immediately. "How long have you been awake?" he asks, leaning forward to put his drink and snack on the table, before standing back upright and not moving another inch. "A while." you say, but it's almost a whisper. "Did you -" he stops and ruffles his hair. "How much did you hear?" He knew. He knew you'd heard him. You smile again, and finally sit yourself up. You know he's not going to move, the blush on his face is proof enough he feels nervous. Or embarrassed. Maybe both. So you push the blanket off of your body and stand yourself up. He takes in your body. One of his black hoodies and shorts, and when he reaches your eyes he finally lets out a breath of air. You chuckle. You hold out your hand as you walk to him and when he you finally reach him, he grabs hold of it tightly. "I'll say it back." you whisper. You hear Nick open the door to his bathroom from upstairs. He's singing the words to Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter, and suddenly Chris relaxes, a small chuckle escaping his lips. It was now, or it would hang over us. "I love you." You stare at him for a second, before letting go of his hand and warping your arms around his neck. His arms immediately come around your waist and he pulls you closer, his nose grazing against your neck. "I love you too, Chris. So much." He lets out a chuckle before you pull away and look at other other, your arms still around his neck and his still around your waist, and he leans forward to plant a kiss on your lips. "I wanted to tell you so long ago." he whispers now, the sound of Nicks footsteps finally coming down the stairs. You knew he was only seconds away from walking in on you both, but if Chris wasn't moving, neither were you. "Me too. Me too." you smile, and you lean froward and kiss him again. You both let out a chuckle into each others lips as you hear Nicks footsteps come to abrupt stop. You remove your lips from his to look over his shoulder, and Chris turns his head in the same direction, both still wrapped together. "Did you tell her?" Nick says, an excited look on his face as he looks between you both. "Tell me what?" you say, playing dumb as you look at the side of your boyfriends face just in time to see him roll his eyes before turning to face you. "Shut up," he whispers, before planting another kiss on your lips, pulling away and pushing you backward slightly so he can grab hold of your hand to walk you back over to the couch. "I'll take that as a yes, shall I?" you hear Nick say, and you turn around and give him a smile. 

You spend the rest of the night with your legs draped over Chris', your hands twirling around in his hair as you peacefully watch him playing his games with Nick, turning round and giving you the occasional kiss when he had a spare second he didn't need to concentrate. And when you get into bed that night, Chris' arms holing you tightly into his chest, it's the first night of many more he whispers I love you before you fall to sleep. 

[sculkapologist]

I finally finished a NEW CUSTOM MAP ART!!! "Visitor," a portrait of an enderman, is extra exciting because it's my first full-palette map painting, meaning I used block height to access all the highlight and shadow colours available!! More on the full process under the cut, but the short version of what this means is:

ITS A VERY COMPLICATED CONSTRUCTION. I created the art, then planned and built this manually, without any mods or schematics for construction. Huge props again to everyone else in the server for helping me gather all the materials to make this absurd thing possible!!!

This was the original art I made for it! I'm a huge fan of the "compressed" look of the vanilla paintings, so I've been starting with a large image and shrinking it down, though there were a lot of pixel tweaks to get it to read well. After shrinking it to 16x32 (for an art made of two maps), I convert it to a limited palette that I've set up to match the colours minecraft actually has available:

The map palette is actually tremendously limited, so figuring out a painting that will still look good with that constraint is a challenge in and of itself!

Anyway, the way minecraft maps work, a block that is Taller than the block to the north of it shows up with a slightly lighter colour, and a block that is Lower than the block north of it shows up on the map with a slightly darker colour. So when making a key for this one, I marked all the squares with a little arrow if it's the lighter or darker version:

Each "pixel" here is a full stack of blocks on the mapped area: 64 blocks, 8 rows of 8. In order to achieve the affect of every block in a given pixel being taller or shorter than the block to the north of it, dark and light shades need to staircase either up or down. Because staircasing downwards in survival sounds even worse than this madness, I did some planning to make sure each of the "downwards" staircases would touch the ground, so I could simply staircase up from south to north instead. This involved figuring out how many up and down movements were in each individual column and planning out 32 little layouts:

It's worth noting that if you look up minecraft map art on Youtube, most of what you'll find is either, the simple realisation that placing blocks allows you to make custom map art, or an explanation of how to use a generator that will let you plug in any picture and then produce a schematic for you. It's very cool that these exist, but I wanted to do full palette art myself, without an auto-generated schematic, and at the time THERE JUST WEREN'T ANY TUTORIALS FOR HOW TO DO ALL THIS?? Now, having the experience of finagling all this, i think perhaps the reason is that this is a mad undertaking.

ANYWAY: PROGRESS SHOTS!!

I actually love how the staircases look..... its like some kind of modern sculpture

Fewer shots of the second half since I did it on call with friends; the last screenshot is one Thren took of me activating the new locked map to use for the gallery.

Once these paintings are done, I lock the finished maps, make copies, and stock them in the art gallery so other friends on our server can also put these paintings in their homes! It's a lot of work, but really rewarding to see my art decorating various buildings around the server. ;u;

I have one more custom full-palette painting I've done the art for and gathered all materials for; I still need to do the full key and plan staircasing for it before I can start, but HOPEFULLY if my resolve doesn't waver there'll be at least one more of these!!

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Crushing This Crush (Alastor x Reader)

AN: A bit late but for @catticora in honor of their donation as a part of last week's event put on by @hellsgreatestevents!

CW: Alastor being a shit

Request: Reader tries to get over Alastor and writes down a list on “how to get over her crush” and he happens to find it and foil her plans into loving him more

The decision to move into the Hazbin Hotel was a natural one. You didn’t want to die and the general selections of jobs you could do to make a living wage in pentagram city was… lacking. What also was natural, unfortunately, was your crush on the walking red flag of a hotelier. 

That’s how you ended up in this mess in the first place. At least, that’s what you blamed it on. It was following red flag men through their terrible choices that landed your ass in hell. 

Charlie said you needed to take accountability for your actions or you’d never be able to progress in the redemption program, but you just didn’t buy it. The least you could do, however, was not repeat the mistake again. 

That’s what had you sitting behind your laptop in the hotel library researching ways to not fall harder for the handsome red flag that was Alastor. Unfortiently, research wasn’t the most entertaining thing in the world and you quickly ended up with your head cradled in your arms, resting partially on your notes. 

That’s how Alastor found you, cocking his head to the side as your shoulders moved slightly with every calm breath you took. How you had survived for years in hell, soul all your own still, Alastor couldn’t guess. You were so careless as to drift off to sleep in a public space. 

He was less than pleased with the presence of your travel computer on the desk. They were distasteful machines, making the users lazy when it came to seeking and verifying information. 

Alastor stepped closer to you, snagging a throw blanket off the back of the couch. Of all the places you chose to sleep, you picked the least comfortable ones. He wouldn’t save you from the kink in your back that would punish you for your choices, but the least Alastor could do was drape a blanket over your shoulders. He had a duty to the care and keeping of the hotel residents, to an extent. 

The writing on the paper caught his eye. Your looping letters elegantly crossed the page. The title scrawled atop the sheet demanded he investigate more, reading “Crushing This Crush”. 

“Oh, dear.” Alastor murmured softly, carefully working the notebook out from under your arms. “And who is the target of this…” 

“Goal:” the page stated boldly. “Kill the crush on Alastor by any means necessary.” 

“Me?” He chuckled, eyeing your sleeping face, seeing you in a new light. Things made more sense under the light of this new information. “Very interesting.” 

Alastor’s fingers twitched as the single notebook duplicated in his hand. The newly created duplicate melted into the shadows, leaving the original behind. Carefully, he lifted your arms and tucked the notebook containing your poorly hidden plans back under you. 

Would you guess it was he who brought you a blanket? He didn’t know, nor did he care. What mattered to him was that this was surely going to be entertaining. 

Step one in crushing your crush on Alastor sound have been simple enough. Minimize exposure to the man himself. How hard was it to just not spend time around him? You just had to stop seeking him out and it would be done. 

It’s not like he typically hung out in the general spaces of the hotel. 

It should have been easy, so why was it while you sat on the couch in the hotel lobby, nose in a book, his weight settled next to you? He didn’t even sit in the armchair like he usually would. For the first time in your existence, he asked you what you were reading, striking up a conversation with you.

This was not good. This was very much bad for your crush. This was how your crush would get worse. Not good at all. 

You stood up in a rush, stammering out some bullshit excuse about having to walk your fish before all but running out of the lobby, the rich sound of Alastor’s laugh following you down the hall. 

That was far from your only failure at distancing yourself from Alastor. He called on you to attend to errands with him he sure as hell didn’t need help with. The man had tentacles and shadow powers and yet somehow he needed your help to carry supplies for the hotel? 

And why the hell did he need your help to buy new clothes? Did he even wear anything other than the same outfit every single day, anyway? You couldn’t remember when you ever saw him wearing something different, but somehow you still ended up sitting in a tailor shop as he asked your opinions on cuts and fabrics. 

Step one was a failure, but that was alright, there were other steps you could take. 

Step two was to focus on growing your own interests and hobbies independent of your crush. After much thought, you settled on photography for the new hobby of choice. Charlie was ever so excited when you told her your plans and before you knew it, she helped you gain your own state-of-the-art digital camera, sure to double as an Alastor repellant. 

Or so you thought. 

Alastor seemed to be drawn to your new hobby, the digital camera be damned. He would stand outside the view, next to you, and comment on the quality of image, eagerly offering you a film camera to try instead. 

What you intended to be a hobby to distract yourself from and separate yourself from Alastor only ended up fostering your crush more. It became something you looked forward to doing because of the time you’d spend with him.

Step two was a failure. 

Step three to crushing your crush was one you had hoped to avoid doing but with the failure of the first two steps, you had little choice but execute step: Seek support from others. 

That had you sitting on Charlie’s bed, looking at her and Vaggie as you twisted the hem of your shirt between your fingers. They always said the hardest part of doing anything was to start and Satan damn it, that was true for this. 

“Is everything alright?” Charlie asked, breaking the silence. 

“No.” The word comes out as a long, drawn out whine as your tense shoulders deflate with the air leaving your lungs. “I just… I didn’t know who else to go to.”

“About what?” Vaggie asked, voice melting with Charlie’s assurances that you could come to them about anything at all and how happy she was that you would open up to them. 

“I have a crush.” The words tumbled from your mouth in a rush, quickly drown out by Charlie’s squeal of joy. 

“Why is that a problem?” Vaggie was the ever reliable voice of sanity to her girlfriend’s supportive joy. 

“I need to not have a crush.” 

“But why?” Charlie seemed to melt at the death of her fantasy. 

“He’s not a good guy.” 

“Who is it?” Vaggie was tense, prepared for you to deliver the worst option possible.

“It’s Alastor,” you confided, unaware of the smiling shadow hiding behind the curtain, tall ear cocked toward the gossiping girls. 

Step three was to have someone you trusted talk some sense into you. That’s what you expected Charlie and Vaggie to do. Instead, Charlie was eager to explore the idea of if love- a word you were far from ready to label your silly little crush- would be enough to convince both you and Alastor to try redemption. 

Step three was a failure. 

Step four to crushing your crush was the nuclear option. You wanted to avoid it at all costs and yet everything else you tried, failed. That left you standing in front of Alastor as he sat reading in the library. 

You’d been sitting next to him, struggling to read the pages of your book and not focus on the rich earthy way he smelled, the way the scent of moss seemed to surround him, as if he shoved handfuls of the stuff in his pockets each morning. 

Each day that passed made it harder to think with Alastor near you. That was what drove you to preparing for step four. 

“Is there something I can assist you with, my dear?” Alastor asked, not looking up from the old detective novel he had surely read hundreds of times in his hand. 

“I… can we talk?” 

“Are we not doing so right now?” Alastor’s ear flicked when he turned the page. 

“Alastor, it’s important.” 

He snapped the book closed and set it aside, giving you his whole attention. “Well, if you say it’s important, who am I to delay?” 

That was it. You were out of time and he was waiting. That was when the words failed you. They ran away from your mind like the rest of you wanted to. Silence ticked on as he waited, looking directly into your eyes as you prepared to be shot down. 

Step four was to tell him and clear the air, allowing you to be rejected and move on. It would hurt and maybe he’d kill you for it, but there was something to be said for ripping off the bandage. All you had to do was spit the words out and prepare for unending pain. 

“It’s about…” You were so close to saying it before the words got stuck again. 

“About?” Alastor crossed his legs and leaned back on the couch while he gave you time to confess before he spoke again. “Dare I say, is this about your little crush?” 

It felt like lightning struck you, running right down your spine and pulling every muscle tight. How could he know? How long did he know? 

“What?” Your voice was small, weak, like your knees felt. 

“This is step four, is it not?” Alastor’s smile spread wider, teeth looking somehow sharper as he shifted in his seat, seeming to prepare for a show. 

“How do you?” 

“My darling girl,” Alastor laughed, “if you’re trying to keep a secret, I don’t recommend sleeping with the plan in front of you in this very library!” 

Tears welled in your eyes as shame and embarrassment flooded you. He was toying with you for the last few weeks, ruining your plans and making you fall harder just for his own sick entertainment because he knew the whole time. 

“You could have told me,” you whimpered, trying and failing to swallow back the tears. “You could have just told me instead of making a fool out of me.” 

Alastor’s smile faltered for just a moment, shrinking as he stood. He intended to play with you, ruin your plot, but it wasn’t his goal to hurt you. This was not how he wanted to see you crying in shame. This wasn’t how he wanted to see you crying at all. 

“Cher,” Alastor spoke softer, wiping the first tear to spill from your eyes with the knuckle of his clawed hand. “I did not desire to make a fool out of you.” 

“Then why?” You stepped back only to have him step closer to you. 

His ears sank as his head cocked to the side. Why was the question indeed? 

“I didn’t wish for you to crush this crush,” he answered honestly, though that only left you with more questions. 

“Why not?” 

“It’s entertaining,” he said, after thinking for a moment longer. “The way you blush and get flustered.” 

“What does that mean?” 

Alastor shrugged his shoulders before melting into the shadows, leaving you with more questions and worse, hope that they could become something real if you just gave Alastor time to come to figure out his feelings. 

You failed to crush your crush, but maybe that was alright? Maybe your crush was contagious. Maybe Charlie was right, after all.

No, not that Alastor would push you attempt to be a better person, but maybe you could both be terrible people together. 

Thank you for reading and once again, thank you to everyone within the fandom who stepped up and participated in the event!

Join us at VoxTek for a Vox themed Hazbin Discord where we talk Vox, Hazbin, writing, reading, art and who knows what else. You may even catch some exclusive sneak peeks at upcoming fics from some of your favorite writers including the first page of the next chapter of MisD a day early!!

[brutalcritical]

Egg Route (Deltarune Theory Effortpost)

Image by @jojoton56

So the forgotten man, the semi-official name for the guy who hides behind trees and gives you eggs, is given some pretty interesting context regarding our playable character, Kris. This implies he (the forgotten man) is tied to some repressed trauma (most pronounced in the art therapy room of chapter 4), possibly violent in some nature (as alluded to by a line by the holder of the shadow mantle as well as one of the fellow patients in said art therapy room). While I'll only bring up the specifics here briefly, there's still the ultimate question of what this is all leading towards?

Well, three interesting facts could hint that the forgotten man is key to another alternative route, like the weird route, but in a (possibly?) more positive direction than grooming Noelle into a cryomantic death machine.

As noted in the above image, you don't get the "Chapter X END" achievements if you get the respective eggs of those chapters. Its even required if you want to do a run where you don't get any achivements from chapters 1-4 (promting special dialouge from the Voice). This is odd since said voice never brings up the weird route in a similar way, despite its effects on the plot being more obvious so far.

During chapter 2's weird route, you just cannot get to the egg room for the chapter at all. Which is strange unless the eggs are for their own route or something. Similarly, if you finish the sword route (which references the weird route) before getting the tripp ticket, you're locked out of the egg room for that chapter (granted, if you get the egg by the time you start board 3 this is a non-issue).

In speaking of chapter 3's sword route, if board 2 is meant to be at least partly taken as a hint towards the weird route (though it might not be its only purpose, as I theorised elsewhere), then there's an obvious paralele to be made with the schedule that the forgotten man gives (which hints at the locations of the other egg rooms of chapters 1, 2, and 3).

Now, what this route entails, I have no idea. With the eggs being deemed "not too important, not too unimportant" and completely lacking any of the interactions we can have with them in chapter 4 that we did in chapters 1 and 2, I suspect the eggs themselves serve more of a counter for how many of the forgotten man rooms you've completed.

However, when talking to Malius in chapter 4, they reveal they have been trying their hand at breadmaking but haven't been very successful due to gluten intolerance, hindering their progress towards new recipes. Since eggs can be used to make bread, i could see us using these 5 eggs to make a cake or some shit for everyone to eat and then start tripping on kris's truamatic memeory lane. More of an out there idea that i'm not commited to.

Now for the general plot beats of the egg route. For one, we are going to discover the root cause of Kris's trauma that they are repressing (either involving Dess and what happened to her, Gaster, Kris's pre-adoption past, or a combination of the three), and we help Kris overcome that trauma. With Noelle likely making her second dark world appearance in chapter 5 (where we will get our last egg), i can also see a scene where we help Noelle overcome her truama.

A very likely consequence of this is Kris coming clean with whatever scheme they've been cooking up to this point, especially if the aforementioned repressed trauma has some connection to Dess and why Kris is working with the knight. At this point, Susie will be aware of Dess's fate and how this ties to Kris working with the knight to bring about the roaring. Whether the knight is Carol and wants to bring her daughter back, or the Knight is Dess and is forced to bring about the roaring for one reason or another, Susie is aware that the knight is more than just some bad guy who wants to bring about Armageddon.

Susie (and probably Noelle) will start crashing about Kris working with the knight (especially if Kris Slash theory is true and you did the sword route by this point), but everyobdy will calm down and the fun gang (and noelle) will have the shared goal of saving Dess or something and will probably have a vague awareness of there being a puppetmaster behind the knight's strings.

At the end of chapter 5, if you did the egg route, Gaster will just crash out on you for getting all 5 eggs or something idk.

[barufisher]

i do think that for me personally. there is no version of taash's storyline that i can get down with except one where they reconnect with their qunari side. my main problem with their arc is that it perpetuates this idea that someone has to "choose" one culture, that they have to turn their back on parts of their identity in order to be the right kind of trans (the white western kind) and all of it just makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. and to be clear this is not me like... trying to make anyone feel bad, there are parts of taash's story that i personally connect with as well, like there is nothing wrong with the way taash does gender in general and there's nothing wrong with it resonating with people. it's when we put it all together in context within the game that it becomes a problem for me.

we know the qun does not have the same ideas around gender as the rest of thedas, we know that their identity, including gender, is connected to their duty. and so it doesn't make sense that taash's mother cares about them wearing dresses. why would she care about that. i'd ask if we've ever even seen any qunari in dresses but i'm pretty sure we've only seen three qunari women total and two of them are in veilguard and are scholars wearing what i personally consider a robe. the third is in trespasser and is ben-hassrath, and is definitely not wearing a dress. if anything, their mother should be concerned about the fact that they fight, since the whole point of leaving for rivain was to avoid taash being designated as a soldier. and to be fair, we get this a Little bit with the fire-breathing. but everything else about shathann's disapproval doesn't make sense in-universe.

and we also already know about the aqun athlok, which shathann even tries to bring up but the game shouts her down because....? i get that shathann is meant to be overbearing and kinda shitty, but this is not the way to do it. all this does is imply that aqun athlok is "wrong" and not as progressive as this other identity that rook has to teach taash about (and that also isnt even specific to rivain, or related to them connecting to their rivaini culture. it's the shadow dragons that teach them all of this along with rook. in general transness and the nonbinary identity are not integrated into the world in any meaningful way which makes it feel even worse). there are various cultures that have their own specific gender identities that do not adhere to the gender binary, and taash should have been given the chance to connect to their own culture in this way. and even if they really wanted to make it so taash just didn’t feel right with aqun athlok, that identity still should have been properly discussed as an option and handled with respect, rather than so carelessly thrown aside as “wrong” (though again not a depiction i would personally like but it would still be better than what we got).

and just. i really disagree with the idea that gender identity under the qun is More Rigid than elsewhere. it’s different, as we know from comments from iron bull and sten-- and we could argue in circles about inconsistencies with the things they say, obviously there have been retcons previously in an attempt to better develop the qunari beyond what we see in origins and da2, but i think this kind of development is a good thing, and is exactly why the regression with taash irritates me so much-- but when we look back at characters like warden tabris, dorian and his father and tevinter's obsession with bloodlines, the entire experience of playing f!hawke in da2 (and also da2 literally has a whole subplot about women being murdered for like 3 years and no one cares. these games just have a misogyny problem lol) and even tarquin in veilguard commenting about how his father forced him into being a soldier because he's a man(!!)-- there is a lot of rigidity, expectations, and violence around gender throughout thedas. but for some reason these rigid gender ideals and a lot of this gendered violence is held up as the status quo and not challenged at all by the writers in the way the qun repeatedly is. the exception being dorian (though you're still incentivized to forgive his father), but a lot of the characters in tevinter-- magisters, templars, the literal black divine-- are still allowed complexities and to be the good guys working with the shadow dragons, a grace not given to any qunari character besides iron bull (who ultimately still has to leave the qun or die later). i’m not trying argue that the qun is perfect and can never be criticized-- i like the flawed characters and societies within dragon age. but the qunari also deserve to be given the same depth, complexities, and engagement as everyone else, too. and it’s worth pointing out that it’s always the qun that’s depicted as backwards for the same harmful “rigidity” every other culture in the game reinforces.

and ultimately with the way the game inserts this very modern, anachronistic, and condescending language in a poor attempt to be as "correct" as possible to "teach" the player, while simultaneously writing such a careless, racist arc about their culture kinda just , makes me feel like they were actually trying to imply that one identity is more correct and progressive than the other. or, if nothing else, it's a bias that got amplified due to their unwillingness or inability to engage with taash's character beyond using them as a mouthpiece for corporate "representation."

there absolutely are people out there that are like taash, who don't necessarily have or want a connection with certain parts of their culture, and maybe they do identify closer with one aspect of it over another. this is all fine! this happens in real life, everyone has different relationships with their identity and heritage, there is no universal experience, and people are allowed to write about their own. but the thing is. this is dragon age. and taash was written by weekes. and both dragon age as a whole and weekes specifically has a repeated pattern of racist writing when it comes to depicting the qunari. and taash's quest along with the way the antaam are portrayed-- faceless, voiceless, basically naked bodies for you to kill-- makes this a series of poor choices that i don't feel generous enough to excuse.

and it sucks. so bad. that this happened. i want to like taash so bad. but.... man.

anyways if you read this far you should read this article, which is far more eloquent than anything i could write and really dives into the whole "civilized versus savage" binary that we see in a lot of fantasy RPGs and is really epitomized in taash's quest-- in dragon age, it's always the qunari and dalish elves versus a (usually white and/or human) andrastian:

[foldingfittedsheets]

In the bloom of my youth I found myself on an evening with my best friend in the park. We were young and it was a beautiful warm summer night to be out. At sixteen in a small rural town our options for entertainment were limited but it had been a good day.

Park is a somewhat generous term for the locale, what it amounted to was a cleared space with some planters and bushes, a tiny podium, and a square of trees round the perimeter. We had been hanging about with our friend who needed to leave, and waiting to be picked up ourselves, carless plebeians that we were.

So there we were, two teen girls in the park alone as the last of the light faded. Neither of us had cellphones, and my nana was collecting us right from the park as we’d agreed earlier. We were in no hurry, knowing she’d arrive when she arrived.

Until my friend said, “What was that?”

I looked up to where she was pointing but I didn’t see anything. “What?” I asked.

“I think it was… someone streaking?”

It was absurd to think. Our little town, tiny and rural as it was, with a streaker. But I loved my friend, so instead of laughing I said, “Let’s go see.”

I’m not sure what I thought it was, but I was confident she’d be less nervous if we investigated and found a plastic bag or a jogger in white. And I’ll admit I was curious at this anomaly. We made our way across the park to where she’d pointed.

That’s when I saw it too. A flash of pale skin under the streetlights, moving too quickly through the shadows and shrubs to see clearly. My friend clung to my arm, shrinking in on herself and I felt the first twitch of fear. Investigating no longer seemed like the thing to do.

I was determined to protect her from whatever was lurking, so I changed course and started cutting away from the movement, heading for the small shopping center not too far outside the park.

Our progress was suddenly arrested as the mysterious figure launched into our path. A man crouched on the pavement before us, fully nude except for a loincloth. His hair was in white people dreads. It was in every way like Tarzan had stepped out of the animated movie into real life.

My friends fingers were digging painfully into my arm and we stood stock still, staring at this bizarre apparition. He was still a good fifteen feet away from us. He stared back, making soft simian “ooh ooh” sounds.

I was struggling to process that a man in a loin cloth was right there when he started to move toward us. It was in his monkey half crouch, a few shambling steps, slow, with his eyes fixed on us.

“Leave us alone!” I declared.

He stopped, tilting his head this way and that. Then shifted like he would take another step.

I was fully afraid now, but I was also furious that he was menacing us and scaring my friend. I dropped her arm, marching forward with wrath in my eyes and said, “Get out of here before we call the cops!”

At my approach he turned and bolted back into the bushes. I whipped around and zipped back toward my friend, grabbing her arm and power walking us out of there. We arrived at the nearest business and darted inside, conveying what had just happened in garbled snippets.

The workers were outraged to hear our story. They let me call my nana to tell her where we were, then asked if we’d like to call the police. I shook my head. I emphatically did not want to deal with the police.

In the safety of the store my fear had started to feel ridiculous. It was probably just some bored prankster.

As we waited for my nana my friend quietly admitted she would rather liked to have called the cops. I apologized for not asking. We lapsed into silence. She said, “I can’t believe you went toward him.”

I couldn’t either. I didn’t remember planning on it, only I wanted to be between him and my friend. “Do you think he was crazy or was it just a prank?”

She shook her head. She didn’t know either. All these years later I still don’t really know what happened that night. If he was on a dare, or cosplaying Tarzan for fun, or if he was unwell. A lot of the details have hazed over with time but the utter dissonance of seeing a man in a loin cloth pop out of the bushes is seared into me.

I also remember back then, in a whisper both scandalized and fascinated, my friend admitting, “I saw Tarzan’s penis.”

[lisssyyu]

Dried Blood - The Renaissance Project

PAIRINGS: VI × F!READER

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This au came after I rewatched ABSOLUTELY ALL "Jurassic World" MOVIES, so enjoy.. Let me remind you that English is not my native language, and if you see any mistakes or inaccuracies, please correct me! let me know if you like it and want a part two.

WARNING(S): —

TAGS: behavioral specialist!Vi ;; Jurassic World!au ;; drabble ;; arcane

туалет: 3.3k

часть : 1 ;; 2 ;; ?

In a world where Piltower technology and Zaun genetic engineering have reached unprecedented heights, humans have learned how to resurrect dinosaurs. The new Jurassic Park has been built on a remote island a project financed by the Kiramman family and others, not only for the sake of "scientific progress" and geopolitical prestige. Vi is a behavioral specialist working with velociraptors and other dangerous species, and you are a new ethologist specializing in the cognitive behavior of dinosaurs.

Vi was raised on the streets of Zaun, but was recruited into a research program when the people of Piltover recognized her talent for reading behavioral patterns in animals.

Although, to be completely honest, at the age of 19, she was caught trying to break into a biotechnology storage facility (the question of why she was there remains unanswered to this day). Instead of sending her to prison, one of the scientists, a renowned professor from Piltover and another financier of the "Rebirth" project named Anabel Grimm, noticed how Vi behaved with an aggressive chemosaur in a cage. She was calm and, to everyone's surprise, got away with just a couple of scratches.

She was offered an alternative: participation in an experimental program on "instinctive contact with unstable individuals." Not wanting to make her life worse by going to prison, she agreed.

Later, she was sent on probation to a remote pilot station where genetically unstable individuals were bred. There, she encountered the predecessors of dinosaurs for the first time. They were unsuccessful hybrids with predatory habits. Ugly creatures that had nothing in common with dinosaurs.

Over the course of several years, Vi proved that she possessed a "trainer's instinct" that could not be taught at the academy. Professor Grimm wrote a letter of recommendation for her to the Rebirth Project when the selection process for the island began.

Vi lives on the enclosure grounds. She has "her own" animals, especially a pair of velociraptors, with whom she has worked since she was young.

Vi even gave them names — Ship and Wouter. Vi has no formal education. Her access card is marked "1st class field expert."

Vi believes that trust and respect are more important than collars and remote controls. She enters the enclosures personally, without weapons, which greatly angers the management.

You came to the Park as part of the second wave of scientists those who don't just grow dinosaurs in test tubes, but try to understand what they become. As an ethologist who trained in the basements of the Piltower Academy and at field bases in Zaun, you have been obsessed with the behavioral patterns of animals, predators, and herbivores since your early years.

You were attracted not only by the scale of the project and generous funding, but also by the idea itself: to create not a prison for monsters, but a living, breathing ecosystem. And also, to observe how dinosaurs learn and grow. Now your day begins with your observation journal and ends in the enclosures, where claws scratch against steel and eyes watch from the shadows. Some of the park staff think you are too soft on the "creatures."

Vi is one of the few who, even though she calls your methods "theory for dummies," really listens. Especially when the predators responded to a gesture for the first time, rather than an electric shock.

• At first, Vi considers you too naive.

She has seen dinosaurs tear off interns' legs in a second and is sure that your interest in the creatures will fade as soon as you see them in action. She calls your notes and hypotheses "fairy tales for students." But one day, you enter the enclosure of a young specimen unarmed, and for the first time, it doesn't growl. Vi begins to see you differently.

• The two of you argue constantly.

You cite data, she cites her own experience. At first with irritation, then with enthusiasm. After a couple of weeks, the arguments become a habit: coffee, enclosures, swearing, ironic smiles. Your notebook and her rough voice are a strangely harmonious combination.

• Vi begins to wait for your notes.

Although she pretends not to. Sometimes you notice that she has taken your notebook, crossed out some of the formulas, and written: "If you think this works, let's check it out. Tomorrow at 7. Don't be late, professor." The moment you read it, you felt your face turn redder than a tomato.

[omega-e123]

some headcannons i like to use when shadow has a sick s/o

-he knows every medicine in the book due to.his time on the ark, so he goes through a mental checklist of the ones that will help you wvery time you get sick

-he cuddles the shit out of his s/o as long as they are okay with it, he gets worried about losing them when he sees you sick like that.

-shadow when hes not cuddling and comforting you while your sick will cover you in a weighted blanket to simulate the deeling of beibg cuddled.

-shadow also has a tendency to hoord medicine due to his fear of losing you to sickness, so anytjing in the books you could need he probably has two of it.

-shadow will worry if he doesnt start to see improvement in your system in 24hrs after the sickness started. So he will book you a doctors appointment and gently drag your tail there.

-if you have trouble with the taste of medicine, shadow always has a chaser near by somewhere. The hedge will make you take your meds then imediantly have you taking chocolate sryup as a chaser after to help with the taste.

-shadow sees you even more like maria when your sick so hes voice will rarely go above a soft whisper when your sick. Him mimcking his old behavior with maria.

-shadow loves to handmake soups for you with the knowledge he has, they may not be perfect but they are a labor of love.

Thats my gush have a nwiceee dwayyy.

Oooh! I love these headcanons! Thank you so much!!

✾ He definitely tries to keep more solid medicine rather than liquid, knowing how awful they taste! Some of them can’t be helped though..

✾ Imagine even after taking the chocolate chaser, a twisted, disgusted look is still plastered on your face. Shadow snorts, “That bad?” before kissing you. You’re not focused on the taste anymore!

✾ The great thing about having Mr. Ultimate Life Form as a partner I s getting all the kisses in the world without worrying about getting him sick.

(:̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

You open the doors to the medicine cabinet. Nono, not the one in the bathroom. Shadow keeps a separate small cabinet in the corner of the bedroom stocked up with every over the counter and left over prescription medicine you’ve ever had.

Hung on the inside of the door is a meticulous list of all the expiration dates. Below that is a little container of directions to most of the medicine. At the very least, the ones that don’t have the directions and ingredients on the bottle. They’re more so for you than him, in case you need something while Shadow isn’t around. Each bottle is organized alphabetically by name and not by the generic name.

Of course he knows what medicine is stocked, which one is for what. All the information about medicine is up to date.

Staring at the two main painkillers for headaches, you couldn’t decide which one to take. Shadow informed you to take a specific one first to see if it helps, but the memory evades you.

You’ve been so deep in thought, you hadn’t noticed that your partner had been calling you to the dinner table to eat. When he walks in the room, he spots your small frame sitting on the floor in front of the cabinet. Shadow’s arms rest crossed over his chest. “What’s wrong?,” he speaks up, effectively startling you. Turning to him, he simply raises a brow, waiting for an answer.

“Stupid headache.. It’s been progressively getting worse. I thought it was cause I wasn’t getting enough water but… Anyway, which one?” You hold up the two containers, the labels facing him.

A finger points to the red bottle, “Acetaminophen. Take one and see if it gets better. If not, use the other. Food is on the table and Acetaminophen is less likely to cause stomach irritation.”

Classic Shadow. Even with that near expressionless face you could tell by the slight tension between his brows and word choice that he’s concerned for your well being. For a brief moment Shadow disappears. In the time that he’s gone you put back the other container in its rightful place. Reappearing, the hedgehog has a glass of water in his hand. Ruby red eyes watch as you pop the pill in your mouth. A hand is outstretched to pass you the glass.

After taking the medicine he hoists you up princess style. “Shadow! Put me down! I can walk on my own! It’s just a headache!,” you protest. To no avail, Shadow hold you tighter as he walks around your shared home. A smile finds its way to his lips as you ‘struggle’, “You’re not putting much of a fight. Besides, I thought you enjoyed getting royal treatment?”

He’s not wrong—

[transhitman]

@calpalsworld holding me at gunpoint and making me break my tumblr hiatus to post my thematic analysis of Look Outside. I know making horror about mental health is overplayed but hear me out for a sec, this one is good. CW for mention of sexual themes. And spoilers, obviously:

Look Outside is a sort of reverse Metamorphosis. At the start of the game, Sam has recently acquired some kind of invisible disability or mental illness, or one that he already had has progressed to an unmanageable point. This causes the world itself to metamorphose, becoming frightening, hostile, and deeply confusing. The specifics of his disability don’t really matter here, as Sam doesn’t understand it himself. The act of looking outside in this case represents confronting reality, and the people who have looked outside are those who have in some way or another come to grips with their tragedy. Jeane’s life is falling apart and she feels like she’s losing control. Mr. Henderson is dealing with severe PTSD. The tooth family is grieving the arbitrary death of their child (which I also realize is a trope, but sometimes the most obvious reading is simply correct lol). Stargazer projects its trauma onto the people it’s close to, attempting to control and “fix” them, and Spine subjects Sam to abuse in turn. Frederic ties his identity and self worth to his art, and he allows his negative emotions about his work to become all he is. Some of the cursed cope just fine, and while they may not appear the most stable, they are able to deal with reality without lashing out or destroying themselves. There are, of course, plenty of things that aren’t a one-to-one metaphor, but the general pattern is there. When Sam looks at the visitor at the beginning of the game, when he’s at his weakest and most isolated, he flat-out self-destructs because he’s unequipped to cope with his new reality.

The human companions, as well, have a pattern of being those who haven’t really looked inward. Ernest most obviously has some kind of psychosis going on with his paranoia and delusions about the paranormal, and has either chosen not to seek help, or hasn’t had it offered to him. Dan is a very clearly neurodivergent man who is completely oblivious to how he affects others, toxic and annoying not out of malice but because he is a deeply myopic person. Sophie is a child who either hasn’t been affected by tragedy, or doesn’t yet grasp the gravity of things that have happened to her. Papineau is sort of wrapped up in his very specific fixation, and while it’s not harmful, it’s definitely abnormal, and he doesn’t seem to realize it. And Xaria and Monty are countercultural weirdos, likely on the fringes of society, who use force to get what they want rather than constructively building community.

The specifics of Sam’s illness don’t really matter, but it’s difficult to ignore the erotic elements of the game. Putting aside the guro/tf overtones for now, Sam has three obsessive stalkers. While they vary in their level of harm, all of them in some way threaten his boundaries and sense of self. As said before, Spine seems to represent some kind of abusive cycle – a controlling and entitled partner. Lyle is mostly harmless, but is still a stalker at the end of the day. And though Sam can choose to engage with him, it’s framed as a generally awkward and transactional situation. Shadow doesn’t represent cut and dry abuse, but a chasm in communication. Sam is not ready for the sort of relationship Shadow represents, and when he runs into it too fast, it destroys him. Again, I don’t think the specifics of Sam’s illness matter too much in the end, but I can definitely see a reading where he’s dealing with emotional or sexual trauma that caused his mental health to nosedive. I mean, returning to the fetish overtones of the game, one could posit transformation as sexual liberation – entering a world that can be genuinely dangerous, but which can also empower those who reside there. I personally don’t think enough of the game’s characters fit this theme for it to be the intended reading, but I think it’s a fun angle to take. If anything, I think Sam has hang ups about intimacy in general. He’s just a very isolated person, perhaps because of his enigmatic illness, and that has taken a toll on his mental wellbeing. But I digress.

The ritual has Sam confronting reality at long last, finally staring down this inscrutable, nonsensical tragedy. This time, however, he has other people to lean on (if you aren’t doing a solo run), and has explored the lives and trauma of the other people in the apartment. He is able to see the visitor without instantly collapsing. He holds a mirror up to the visitor, showing it what it looks like, making it understand the harm it has caused, echoing the scenes of Sam berating himself in the more literal mirror. In the Denial ending, he confronts reality, sees what he needs to see, and moves on. He is changed, he understands himself. His life and the function of his body will never be normal, but he is happy and lives a fulfilled life surrounded by friends. In the Denial ending, Sam copes.

Truth, however, sees Sam fixating on his trauma to the point that it destroys him. He is consumed by tragedy, and it makes him a true monster, lashing out at the world around him and ultimately making it uninhabitable. Subscribed wholly to nihilism, he destroys his own life. Flawed ending Sam survives the encounter with the visitor and remains lucid (as far as we are shown), but he does not grasp the whole truth. He didn’t put the pieces together correctly. While he now understands that there is a problem, that he is in some way deviant, he can’t accept it as readily. Whether he copes with his change is left up in the air, but if he does it will take a long time, and he may never truly accept himself. Sam doesn’t confront the visitor at all in No Going Back, and is thus sentenced to a lifetime of general suckage. The world of No Going Back is the perpetual but lowkey misery that comes with having an undiagnosed or invisible disability. Sam does not change for the worse, but he stagnates. Even if he has friends, or has become stronger as a person, the root of the issue was never addressed, and the world will never truly be a place he can be happy in.

Tldr: Look Outside is a game about accepting a disability and mental illness as part of who you are, and learning to navigate a world that is actively hostile to you and people like you.

[scarwasright]

Asking white people why we feel the urge to portray the Elrics as brown.

To nip this bad faith reading in the bud: No, I'm not speaking against the re-imagining of protagonists as people of color because a fan might want to see themselves in a work of art where they are underrepresented.

I'm speaking to the very specific recent (last ~5-10 years or so) fandom trend of giving Ed and Al darker skin and changing absolutely nothing about the context under which they move through their fictional world.

Any person with even some faint trace of a critical pulse can smell the stink on FMA's, particularly the manga's and PARTICULARLY BH's, racial politics. The protagonists are descended from a mythologized dead race of pale blond people from the desert, and Edward is also posited as the ultimate moral compass on which the series' thematic logic turns. The latter is archetypal of a Shounen. From jump, if we're delivering A Lesson, Edward is always right. The series generally doesn't think there's anything wrong with the militaristic status quo (so long as we rout the shadow cabal living under the capital (don't think about that too hard)), so Edward also thinks there is nothing wrong with it. This causes him, from time to time, to butt heads with survivors of a genocide perpetrated by the army that he works for. Because FMAB wants to have its cake and eat it, too: It postures as being about Serious Things, like industrialized imperialism, but it also abjectly refuses to shed its Shounen trappings, lest it come to the not-so-feel-good conclusion that it was the militaristic status quo that enabled horrific violence in the first place. The protagonist is a willful member of an elite class of soldiers who were deployed in recent living memory to wipe an indigenous population off the map, but he is ideologically opposed to using guns because they kill people. The protagonist must always win with friendship, might, and vague niceties about how all lives matter.

Making Ed brown does not alleviate this contradiction. It only highlights the insecurity of the white people in the room who can tell that something is Off, but aren't willing to engage with it in a meaningful way.

The knee-jerk reaction to make Xerxians darker isn't an unreasonable one. The canon as it is presented could have been lifted from one of many white supremacist pseudo-histories about mystical ancestral white people. The fact that FMA wasn't created by a white person does not negate this, especially when that person is of the majority within her own imperial nation. Hiromu Arakawa is not Ainu, and she has never claimed to be. The idea that she is comes from a game of fandom telephone based on an interview where she mentions that she has relatives who are. This erroneous extrapolation fits within the same bubble of white comfort as redesigning Ed to be brown: If Arakawa is indigenous, she has implicit authority on the subject of indigeneity within her fiction. If Edward is brown, then all the Ick that self-proclaimed progressive people get when he is talking down at Scar or Miles goes away.

But both of these sentiments are self-comforting fallacies.

Making Edward brown within the fiction of Fullmetal Alchemist while changing nothing about his worldview and experiences does nothing but provide a notion of legitimacy and authority to his moral stances that clash with other brown characters who have less favorable views on the military status quo. He is still a willing servicemember in an army that only a decade ago wiped an entire ethnic region off the map.

Brown Edward is just another entry in fandom's long legacy of "brown paper doll" characters-- Characters who are visibly people of color, but who have no cultural or ideological grounding that might reasonably stem from their racialization within the fiction. Characters who are palatable to white people because they do not force us into discomfort, whose suffering is Noble because it does not move them to hatred or violence against the systems and people who oppress them. Characters who very often have skin that's been eyedropped a shade darker, but who lack any other features deemed unfavorable by white supremacy.

I don't engage much with fandom critique these days, because after so much time here, I have come to the conclusion that the vast majority of people would rather dig their heels in and continue to pretend that an anime they like is something that is simply is not. That a cartoon "likes women" (whatever the fuck that means) simply because it has more women in it than others of a similar genre. That it is "anti-imperialist" because the imperialists who have more power when the curtain closes than they did when it opened Feel Bad about the genocide they did. This post is already written from the assumption that the reader is aware of the reactionary undercurrents of FMAB's themes and political messaging, which means it's already going to miss a lot of people who are, frankly, ignorant, be it because they lack the critical framework to deconstruct a story's contradictory or problematic elements, or because they simply don't want to or don't care. I know I'm not reaching them. I haven't even gotten into how glaring it is that the vast majority of fandom would rather put a coat of paint on Good Golden Edward than meaningfully engage with the characters of color who already exist in the show and whose identities are not so toothlessly convenient for a white audience's comfort.

My hope is only to encourage that, rather than shoving the discomfort out of sight and mind with a performance of progressivism, we face it down in our art. Edward Elric is a racist dickhead. How can we meaningfully explore that? How does he become a better citizen of the world? And by extension: How do we? Certainly not by reframing our thematic mouthpieces in the facsimile of a marginalized identity to lend legitimacy to everything they say in support of the oppressive status quo.

[vixstarria]

My Fanfiction Master List

All fics can also be found on my AO3.

The following have accidentally turned into a series, although each can be read as a standalone.

It began as mostly Astarion x female Tav, with appearances from other companions, though it's all ultimately about my Tav Asmodea. My earlier fics are written in 2nd person and later switch to 3rd.

To summarise: a take on Astarion's relationship progression with a hectic, unhinged bardlock Tav. Mostly humour and banter, fluff with light angst. And then there's the smut.

Ongoing series

Bloodbang Chronicles - post-game continuation of my bardlock series (see below), set five years after the game. Astarion x f!OC - Astarion and Asmodea are running a cabaret. Shit goes down, hilarity ensues. The horrors persist, but so do they.

Masterlist | chapter 1 of 13 (so far) - start here

Legacy of Ash - alternative ending for Astarion and Asmodea, set one year after the events of the game. Cazador Szarr's sister, a powerful warlock of a malevolent fey, appears in Baldur's Gate seeking revenge and power. An unlikely ally appears to help face this threat.

Masterlist | chapter 1 - start here

"It's not just a phase, mom!" or the life and struggles of Maximilian Ancunin - Maximilian (Max) Ancunin is Astarion's unlikely, unforeseen and unintentional child. He is not a dhampir. He is as likely to accidentally stab himself as he is to harm anyone else when he wields a blade. He has no magical talent. Hells, he can't even sing or juggle, and he is perpetually shit out of luck. And by the gods, is he going to make that everyone else's problem.

One-shot series:

Fluff etc

In chronological order, as they would take place in-game:

Where my nice, simple plan fell apart - scenes of Astarion x Tav relationship progression in Act 1 generally

Another Gift - Tav tries to comfort or distract a brooding Astarion, reflections on vampirism / Astarion's past

Mark me as yours (Astarion POV) - takes place the morning after 'Missionary with the lights off' (filed below under smut) - a day of pining in camp in the life of Astarion

Down by the river (alternating POV) - 18+, takes place immediately after 'Mark me as yours' - Astarion and Tav spend a night by the river, away from camp

Ignorance and bliss - Two idiots who are definitely not falling for each other lie in each other's arms pretending to be asleep [Most recently posted oneshot]

Something real (Astarion POV) - An evening in camp, Astarion and Tav are finally alone

Are you mine? (Astaion POV) - just flirty pillow talk and comfort

Gentle Warding Bond - short & sweet, Astarion finds the "true love's caress" and "true love's embrace" rings in the Shadow-Cursed lands and makes a decision

Admit that you love me - Act 2, Gale fucks around and finds out, Lae'zel becomes poetic and Astarion most certainly does not tell you that he loves you

Confession (Astarion POV) - title self-explanatory, love confession, tooth-rotting sweetness

The Morning After - short fic, follow-up to 'Confession', morning in camp - banter, humour, etc

Intimacy - Astarion's struggle with sex and intimacy, includes some fairly softcore smut

Communication - It has been nice, but it's time Tav and Astarion actually figured out what it is they're doing and what comes next

A night at the inn (part 1) - the gang gets a chance to let loose for a while. Humour, banter, and a lead-up to something smutty to come [Parts 2 & 3 under smut]

Smut

Also part of series.

Missionary with the lights off - Uh. Some really mindblowing sex here. No, really. Porn with plot, fluff to smut

Seeing stars - Astarion is jealous. What's more, he's eager to prove that no one could possibly compete with him.

A remedy for sleeplessness - porn no plot, Tav can't sleep and Astarion takes matters into his own hands

What do you want to do with it? - porn no plot, dirty talk, 'use your words', oral sex (male receiving) (kinda)

A night at the inn (part 2) - porn, Astarion x Halsin x F!Tav/Reader, dirty talk, oral sex, PIV and more

A night at the inn (part 3) - continuation of porn, Astarion x Halsin x F!Tav/Reader, vampire bites as an aphrodisiac edition

Sweat - porn with plot. Astarion, Halsin and Tav become a triad after the fall of the Netherbrain. This is a story of how it begins, progresses, and eventually ends.

The Sheath of Frontiers - Wyll's never been with a man. Astarion and Tav decide this must be rectified. (and yes that was an anal pun)

Challenges, shorts and misc

2024 Kinktober masterlist - a ficlet following a different prompt for each day of October 2024

'Erotic Misadventures' - my entry for the BG3 April Foolishness challenge: 'write something spicy that uses the worst possible terms for body parts, sex acts'. Reader beware.

Apples - Very important questions are asked and answered about vampires, their warped sense of taste, and pussy

Untitled - Ask reply HC, Astarion accidentally attacks Tav during a nightmare

A cut - Tav accidentally cuts themselves, and Astarion scampers over like a cat to a can of tuna

Untitled - Ask reply, bonus scene following Seeing Stars - jealous giddy Astarion enacts revenge on Wyll after his failed awkward dance seduction attempt

'Gentle Warding Bond' should rightfully be here also, but it's too relevant to the 'plot' if you can call it that

Other / not my Tav

I thought I lost you - Written for a Valentine's Day exchange for astarioffsimpmain - Astarion x plus-sized Tav / Reader - angst with happy ending, mild smut

The Witching Hour - Written for an autumn / Halloween exchange for tragedybunny, Astarion x Sera - light angst, hurt/comfort

Asmodea - my OC bardlock headcanons etc

(the lady in all the above fics)

Commission - Asmodea and Astarion in Bloodbang Chronicles

Commission - Asmodea and Astarion post-game

Gifted art from Valentine's Day exchange

Gifted art from Halloween exchange

Some screenshots, also here and here

Asmodea x Astarion kinky NSFW alphabet

OC Questionnaire

OC more in-depth questionnaire

Another 'get to know your Tav' post

OC songs and outfits

Why my Tav fell for Astarion

Why Astarion fell for my Tav

OC (i.e. Asmodea's, not mine) MBTI results for shits and giggles

Wow the tumblr search function really sucks, can't find jack shit through it. Anyway.

P.S. I am a whore for comments, and nothing sparks joy and feeds further inspiration quite like a simple "HHHNNNNNG ASFKJAGJLKSJF" in comments or reblog tags. And no fic is too old to receive comments on - they are ALWAYS a joy.

P.P.S Feel free to leave a comment if you'd like to be added to a taglist. :) And if so, do let me know if there are any categories you would prefer to be excluded from.

[avelera]

Meta: Balancing the Ledger in Arcane S2

Whatever people might have thought of Vi and Jayce's actions in S1, Arcane Season 2 was definitely listening. The whole point of their arcs in 2.1-2.3 seems specifically aimed at them getting point by point retribution for everything they did wrong, intentionally or unintentionally, sympathetically or unsympathetically, in S1.

Vi:

Is hurt and abandoned by Cait in almost exactly the same manner that she hurt and abandoned Powder in S1. If you thought Vi got off too lightly for her treatment of Powder in S1, she has now experienced the full brunt of what it would be like to be on the other side of that fight.

Is attacked, terrorized, and made to feel helpless by the very undercity people who she led an attack against in S1 in which she overpowered, terrorized, and ultimately led to the death of a child as collateral damage. The escalating cycle of violence that she took part in came back to bite her, hard.

As for Jayce:

He was warned repeatedly that Hextech was dangerous. He is now seeing and experiencing first hand the risks of unchecked magical/technological progress, not only seeing how it damages the world he was trying to save, but personally experiencing the horrifying, reality distorting effects of the wild runes as of 2.3.

He left Viktor in order to pursue the higher calling of politics, ostensibly to support their research too, but it took him from his partner's side. He was also motivated by a woman, Mel, and his care for her in doing so. Regardless of intention, politics and Mel took him from Viktor's side at a critical moment when Viktor's life hung in the balance.

Now, Viktor has left Jayce, pursuing the shadow of a dead woman who inspires him now, pursuing a higher calling of bettering the lives of others in the Undercity, and while he doesn't have the same real world powers manipulating him as Jayce did, there are parallels between the Hexcore and the Council's ability to drag Viktor and Jayce respectively forward into dangerous territory, following the siren song of their ambitions to change the world for the better, away from the partnership that launched their innovations in the first place.

Jayce also took part in the rogue mission against the Undercity factory, and in the process, killed a child thus escalating the cycle of violence between Piltover and Zaun.

If you blamed Jayce for becoming a councilor, getting into a relationship with Mel while Viktor was dying, for abandoning Viktor and the lab for other pursuits, for killing that child in Zaun, or in general for escalating the cycle of violence between Zaun and Piltover, then S2 seems to have set out very deliberately to address each one of these.

Jayce is abandoned by Viktor in a similar way and for similar (if not the same) causes as Viktor now abandoned Jayce. Meanwhile, the mother of the child he specifically killed shows up to take her pound of flesh, escalating cycle of violence that has him and his loved ones caught up in it, having now arrived at his doorstep when once it was far away in Zaun, and Hextech has become everything that Heimerdinger (who he deposed in a coup d'etat in order to override his warnings and his power to stop Jayce) warned that it could be.

I stand in awe of how deliberately set up it all is, and offer this analysis of why the narrative took the time to so specifically address and bring retribution for Vi and Jayce for these specific sins, in an almost exactly eye for an eye manner.

Before Jayce and Vi can continue forward as our protagonists, we needed to wipe the slate clean.

These beats are so specifically addressed at their sins (real, imagined, or overblown) in S1 that it's impossible to say going forward that they haven't suffered the consequences of their actions. They have now both been intimately on the receiving end of the consequences of what they did to others.

Furthermore, in S2 we are seeing that Vi and Jayce were less outliers as far as people making mistakes but rather were simply ahead of the curve. Now they have seen both sides of the cycle of violence and deeply suffered the consequences of their actions, many of which were impulsive. Going forward, I think it's safe to say we're going to see Jayce and Vi become voices of reason as they continue to learn, grow and experience the consequences of the events that their S1 actions had a big hand in causing in the first place.

I think this is also why Jayce, humbled and wiser, is becoming a much more popular character in S2 while Vi is becoming a much more universally sympathetic one, though I loved them both in the first season as did many other people. But their actions were controversial in some cases and it's been fascinating to see how systematically S2 has addressed each one of their controversial actions from S1 before moving them forward as heroes and protagonists.

[elminx]

Energy Update: April 2025

April is a "4" Universal Month [4 (April) + 9 (2025) = 13 = 1+3=4] in a "9" Universal Year. 4 Months are concerned with shoring things up and creating structure, which is very needed after a complicated eclipse season and two personal planet retrogrades in March.

The Set Up

We begin April with the Sun and Neptune in Aries; Retrograde Mercury, Retrograde Venus, and Saturn in Pisces; Mars in Cancer, Jupiter in Gemini, Uranus in Taurus; and Pluto in Capricorn. There will be major planetary movements this month: the Sun enters Taurus (as usual), Mercury stations direct and then enters Aries, Venus stations direct and then enters Aries, and Mars enters Leo.

The Nitty Gritty

We know that everything is changing when every single one of our personal planets switches signs in a single month. We've been in a personal planet retrograde cycle since November when Mars entered his pre-retrograde shadow in late Cancer with only one week without a retrograde since. In April, Mercury and Venus station direct, and Mars finally exits Cancer for the last time in this cycle. This should provide some relief as, overall, the constant interpersonal shitstorm we've been experiencing since the end of last year finally begins to subside.

Neither of our three personal planets is out of their respective post-retrograde shadows yet, though, so we still have some ground to re-trace and re-imagine before we're entirely out of this storm.

Still, progress is being made.

Our Lights: the Sun and the Moon

As we pull away from eclipse season, the general energy will get much lighter and brighter. We may finally feel like we've entered the easy season of spring. Our Sun only makes two significant aspects all month long: a conjunction with Chiron in Aries, a reminder of the past, and a square with Mars that checks in on our future.

We're in the in-between all month long, and it shows.

The Sun in Aries sextiles Jupiter in Gemini on 4/6, which hints to us that good times are to come - Jupiter is in its exile in Gemini, and we've all been pretty down on our luck for a while now. Now, finally, Jupiter is making moves to exit Gemini, which will drastically improve the odds of anything good happening on this earth - stay tuned for this summer for this positive transition. For now, this sextile is a glimmer - a hint that something good is on the horizon.

Then, we get our first lunar event post-eclipse season, a full moon at 23° Libra on 4/12 that is tightly opposed to Chiron in Aries. This is highly significant if you remember a year ago when our total solar eclipse in April included a stellium of the Sun, the Moon, retrograde Mercury, and Chiron in Aries. This full moon will be a call back to that day, but from a different angle (full moon instead of new). What have we learned with a year to reflect on what was coming up in April 2024?

This last set of eclipses included an Aries solar eclipse, the last eclipse on the Aries-Libra axis that we will experience for the next thirteen years. We are rounding things out, and the endings may pour in hard and fast. This could be a triggering day for some - especially those with personal planets in the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn), and most specifically those found in the last decan that was affected by the solar eclipse a year ago and now this full moon as well.

With Chiron, our Wounded Healer, in play, this will hurt. This is by design. We live in a society that views pain as anathema, but often (in a body that is functioning properly anyway), pain is a signal that we should be paying attention. What is painful needs addressing during this full moon, and it might hit very hard at the core of your ego and who you think you are. This is also the day Venus stations direct at 24° Pisces in a close stellium with Saturn and the North Node, which will bring back some of the eclipse energy even though it's not actively an eclipsed moon.

Things might feel slightly out of control or fated during this time. It looks like the kind of day where the big flex is to hold onto your butt and try to enjoy the ride.

Our Libra full moon is an 8/3 full moon.

7 (Libra moon) + 1 (Aries Sun) = 8. 8 (Libra Full Moon) + 4 (April 2025) = 12 = 1+2 =3. The number 8 is an ouroboros, or infinity sign turned upwards. It often represents a rollercoaster of energy and emotions—ultimate highs and lowest lows, one right after the other. This energy signature is similar to erratic eclipse energy, which Venus's stellium is bringing into play. 3 is our base manifestation number. If you can ride these waves, great (magical) results await you on the far shore.

The Sun enters Taurus on 4/19, which will cause life to slow down a bit as we enter the season of our fixed earth sign. This is a time to sit back and enjoy what spring offers. We are seeing our first spring harvests of fresh fruits and vegetables, and spring flowers are fully blooming. Taurus season is a time meant for enjoyment as the sign of the bull can be, at times, downright hedonistic. As Mercury and Venus are finally in forward motion again, this is when we can rest a bit more and perhaps try to recuperate and recover.

With the Sun now in fixed Taurus, it begins to interplay with Mars in fixed Leo and Pluto in fixed Aquarius to create a t-square in our skies. This is where the shoring up of our "4" month energy comes into play. Although these three fixed signs are all in stressful positions with one another (the Sun squares both Mars and Pluto, who are in opposition), fixed signs have one thing in common: they all require a heavy dose of security to operate at their best.

If you are feeling out of sorts or shaken up by the aftermath of the eclipses and retrogrades, now is the time to take stock of what happened and figure out how to ground yourself into the now. Because it is Taurus season (fixed earth), dirt will be a significant ally during this time.

The Sun squares Mars in Leo on 4/20, a day to question where we are going and what steps we can take to make our dreams a reality. Think big, but map out tangible, achievable steps. The Sun squares Pluto on 4/23, which has the opposite effect: here is a day to think big and focus on what we can eliminate to lighten the load on our journey forward. (Mars directly opposes Pluto on 4/26, which is yet another day to focus on this t-square)

And finally, on 4/27, we have our first new moon after the eclipse season. This is, arguably, the best day of the month as the retrogrades have ended, eclipse season is complete, and we are finally at a new beginning in the oh-so-fertile (dirt fertile, you gutter-minded fools) Taurus. This is a perfect day to pivot in any way you need to and set goals for Spring and the year ahead.

Our Taurus new moon is a 4/8 new moon.

2 (Taurus moon) + 2 (Taurus Sun) = 4. 4 (Taurus new moon) + 4 (April 2025) = 8.

We can see that there is likely still some stressor here, brought in through the repeated "8" energy from the Libra full moon earlier, but we are getting somewhere. And, this day carries "4" energy that echoes the "4" energy of the month. Settle in and take real, tangible steps toward the life you want. And maybe eat some pie. Taurus loves pie.

Mercury

We are most of the way through our first Mercury retrograde of the year, which ends on 4/7 at 26° Pisces. After stationing direct, Mercury enters Aries on 4/16, the third big hit to 00° Aries, our major power point of 2025, and arguably the biggest hit of this point, Mercury-wise. Either of these dates is a powerful day for road opening, pathfinding, or any other type of Mercury magic you might wish to cast.

As Mercury enters Aries, they will conjunct Neptune and sextile Pluto. I wouldn't expect either of these events to be noticed or particularly eventful in and of themselves.

Mercury isn't at its best in Aries, but it is much better suited there than in Pisces, where it was both in its exile and detriment. We should all watch out for speaking out of turn or being too ego-driven in our opinions during this time. We're in post-retrograde territory from 4/7-4/26, so we might fall into that same old hole with miscommunications, whatever that means for you. I'd remind you to think before you speak, but neither Pisces nor Aries is known for doing that, so take that with a whole bucket full of salt.

Communication may finally settle more around 4/26 as Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow. Notably, 09° Aries was the point of our solar eclipse in March, so things may feel a bit angsty and larger than life as we pass through this transition.

Venus

Like Mercury, Venus will round out the last legs of her 40-day retrograde journey as we enter the month of April. Until she stations direct on 4/12 under the light of the Libra full moon (ruled by Venus), we will be working to reform and rediscover how we interact with others. Venus always gets called the planet and romance, but that is overly simplistic - she rules over how we interact with others diplomatically and not-so-diplomatically. When Venus is well placed in the skies, interpersonal relationships tend to run more smoothly; when she is poorly placed, they are more likely to go awry.

Mars, our other relationship planet, was retrograde from December through the end of February, so we've been in this relationship hole for a while now. Times like this test the strength of our interpersonal relationships (big R and otherwise). Undoubtedly, there have been breakups and big reveals. It's been notable that both Venus and Mars have been poorly placed through each of their retrogrades (Venus retrogrades in Aries, the sign of her exile, and Mars retrogrades in Cancer, the sign of his fall). Everybody has been out of patience, out of time, and too emotionally strung out to be able to do more than the bare minimum for five months.

We deserve a break.

We will get one, but there's still more to iron out before we get there.

On 4/2, Venus conjuncts the North Node at 26° Pisces - this is one of THE fated moments in this retrograde cycle. Watch what comes up during this time or what disappears. This is your cosmic reminder that if a partner says they want to leave you, believe them. Move on with your fucking life. You deserve someone who WANTS to be with you.

Venus is exalted in Pisces, but she still has a shadow side, and that is emotional manipulation. This is a significant stellium between retrograde Venus, the North Node, retrograde Mercury, and Saturn. If Venus conjunct the North Node speaks of fated relationships (I use that term loosely here - no two people are meant to be together) - when you add in Saturn, this is the hammer of fate. Retrogrades are more indicative of endings than beginnings.

This is definitely break-up weather. I know every time I say that, I freak some people out. I want to clarify that breakup weather won't even slow down a couple who's well suited for each other and committed to working through their differences. It does show irreconcilable differences and sometimes forces someone's hand.

Venus retrograde is a reminder that sometimes, love isn't enough.

This is further indicated because Venus is about to make double trines to Mars, our other relationship planet. First, retrograde Venus will trine Mars in Cancer on 4/6, and then she will do so again while she is in Aries and he is in Leo next month. We can see the first as a test and the second as a reward for those who passed if you wish. Trines are overall positive, but a trine between Venus in retrograde and Mars in his fall is so-so, at best.

Then, just to be a stick-in-the-mud, retrograde Venus conjuncts Saturn at 25° Cancer on 4/7. I suspect this will be a hard day, especially for Venusian types (artists/femmes/all Taurus and Libra types). We are being asked to be mature about how interactions with other people - this will piss some people off, for sure. It's worth remembering that Venus in Pisces is the universal lover, she believes ALL people deserve more love, not just who you deem worthy. This can be a hard sell in a divided world.

Things will get notably lighter as Venus stations direct on 4/12, but we still have a lot of ground to cover on our post-retrograde shadows (Mercury, Venus, AND Mars), so we aren't out of the proverbial woods yet.

Venus will do the same thing all over again; she first conjuncts the North Node at 25° Pisces on 4/20 and then Saturn at 26° Pisces on 4/24. It's worth keeping in mind that for this entire time (from 4/1 to 4/24), Venus has only moved 2 degrees, and she has kept this tight stellium to the North Node and Saturn through April. This is where the real meat is, to be a bit gross about it - this is where the sausage is made. This has the opportunity to be a real revolution of the Venusian spirit, and all Venus types (Taurus or Libra Sun/Moon/Ascendant/Venus or Venus conjunct to these points) will feel it hard.

And heavy. Saturn is always very heavy and is amplified by the amorphous depths of water Pisces and the 12th house of the unconscious. If you have hard Venus work to do (and you feel comfortable working with her in retrograde), April is the time to do it.

Finally, on 4/30, Venus enters Aries once more. Again, this is a big hit on that 00° point I mentioned in the Mercury section. But also, Venus is in exile in cardinal Aries, the opposite sign to her home, Libra. Having her further from Saturn and the North Node will feel better, but only just.

Mars

We're a month out from Mar's retrograde cycles, and it's starting to show. Life might, finally, feel like it's starting to pick up speed. We have to deal with half a month more of Mars in the sign of its fall in mutable Cancer, but by 4/18, we are in the clear as Mars enters Leo.

It is over. It is over. It is over.

Mars in Leo is the epitome of the brave lion: perhaps a bit recklessly fearless, even. Do what you need to do - this is good energy, and we could use a fiery Mars placement after that watery mess - but be careful where you roar, if you know what I mean. Mars in Leo tends to make people extra territorial, and some don't have any chill. Take that as you will.

Mars will square off with the Sun and oppose Pluto, but those feel like death rattles, nothing more.

It's smooth sailing ahead - the day Mars enters Leo is the perfect day to do some Mars magic if you've been holding off on working with him while he was retrograde and in his fall.

Jupiter and Saturn

Jupiter and Saturn are making moves to exit their current signs (Gemini and Pisces) and will continue to square off with one another as they do so. This is part of an ongoing cycle that will continue until Jupiter finally pulls ahead of its slower-moving rival.

The only major transit (other than Venus conjunct Saturn, covered above in the Venus section) is that Saturn will conjunct the North Node at 26° Pisces on 4/14. This aspect happens every 18-20 years, so it's a big deal. This is fate meets consequence, plain and simple. These two have similar impacts; combined, they pack a life-altering punch. This is more likely to be felt on a societal level - I would expect to see some significant upheaval occur on a global or at least regional level around the middle of the month.

If you have a personal planet at 26° of the mutable or water signs or mutable lunar nodes, you might want to stay aware through this transit. There is a chance this could hit a bit closer to home. This could, for some, feel a bit like an extra-special eclipse season made just for you. That could go really well or really badly.

Looking Ahead

May is going to be downright pedestrian after the last two months, but there is one big change on the horizon: mid-month, Saturn will enter Aries, completing our first hit on 00° Aries that I have been on about all year long. That will change everything. We'll talk about this more in the May update.

The Details

4/2 - Retrograde Venus conjunct the North Node 26° Pisces 4/4 - Mars in Cancer sextile Uranus in Taurus, Mars in Cancer trine Saturn in Pisces, Saturn in Pisces sextile Uranus in Taurus 4/6 - Sun in Aries sextile Jupiter in Gemini, Retrograde Venus in Pisces trine Mars in Cancer 4/7 - Mercury stations direct 26° Pisces, Retrograde Venus conjunct Saturn 25° Pisces 4/8 - Retrograde Venus in Pisces sextile Uranus in Taurus, Mars in Cancer trine North Node in Pisces 4/12 - Full moon 23° Libra, Sun conjunct Chiron 22° Aries, Venus stations direct 24° Pisces 4/14 - Saturn conjunct North Node 26° Pisces 4/16 - Mercury enters Aries 4/17 - Mercury conjunct Neptune 00° Aries 4/18 - Mars enters Leo 4/19 - Sun enters Taurus, Mars in Leo trine Neptune in Aries, Uranus in Taurus sextile North Node in Pisces 4/20 - Sun in Taurus square Mars in Leo, Mercury in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius, Venus in Pisces sextile Uranus in Taurus, Venus conjunct North Node 25° Pisces 4/23 - Sun in Taurus square Pluto in Aquarius 4/24 - Venus conjunct Saturn 26° Pisces 4/26 - Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow 09° Aries, Mars in Leo opposed Pluto in Aquarius 4/27 - New moon 07° Taurus 4/30 - Venus enters Aries

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[the-starflower]

My thoughts on the companions during my first run

In order of appearance:

Lae'zel

Cool intro, cool character - but I never really vibed with her. The aggression and talking down to everyone like we're idiots got tired very quickly. I have very little time for that, both irl and in games 😅

I also don't like how she's just blindly following whoever is her current authority figure. She renounces Vlaakith only to immediately devote herself to Orpheus with the same burning fanaticism. I kept hoping she would tell them all to sod off and choose her own path. She did become a leader herself in the end but... it was frustrating.

She has very funny banter though, and her voice actor did a stellar job. Great animations and facial expressions too! I love the eye roll when corrected on the pronunciation of "teeth-lings" 😆

Shadowheart

I went from disliking to loving her. She was so cold and shady in the beginning I didn't feel like I could trust her. I also didn't understand how to play a cleric in combat.

The others were fairly straightforward: Lae'zel and Karlach smash stuff, Astarion stabs people in the back, Gale is aoe damage and/or a jack-of-all-trades with a spell for every occasion, and Wyll just Eldritch Blasts people in the face. And Shadowheart is... a support healer... ish? In early game it felt like she didn't do much of anything, so every time it was her turn I was just like uuuuuhh Guiding Bolt I guess? Didn't help that the memes about her missing everything are very true. Poor girl must be half-blind.

But with time and a few levels under her belt, I figured her out. She became one of my most used and useful companions. As her story progressed she also really grew on me as a character. I absolutely loved her whole arc in the Shadow-cursed Lands.

She ended up feeling like my Tav's closest friend alongside Karlach. Even shed a few real tears at the end of her personal quest. 💜

Astarion

Had the same feelings towards Astarion as towards Lae'zel. I immediately loved his snark, but I played a very good character so his constant sighs of disapproval got old fast.

What's funny is I know younger me would've been smitten with Astarion IMMEDIATELY. Alternative bad boy with a sassy personality and tragic backstory? Oh, and did we mention he's a vampire? I would've been "I can fix him" all over that. But present-day me is too old for that nonsense. You can take all of that attitude and stay in camp. Call me when you've seen a therapist. My wood elf ranger had enough dexterity and thieves' tools to pick her own damn locks.

With that said, he did win me over.

I eventually realized I would probably need to up his approval if I wanted to resolve his personal quest (I'm a completionist and didn't like leaving it abandoned) so I gave him another chance and... boy, did he deliver. Astarion turned out to have so much depth and nuance, sold even further by the incredible voice acting! His story is also the darkest and most disturbing of them all.

By the time we arrived at Cazador's mansion I felt so protective of him. Gonna make damn sure nobody lays a finger on that little prima donna ever again.

Gale

Instant fav 💖 He introduced himself like a civilized person (unlike most other people in this game) and was polite and pleasant to deal with right off the bat (again, unlike most others).

He was also immediately useful, not only in combat but in general. Whatever the problem, a solution could probably be found somewhere in his smorgasbord of a spell book. He seemed overpowered already at the beginning of the game and was a downright force of nature at max level.

Most importantly though, his personality is 100% my personal brand of kryptonite: smart, kind, funny in the most adorably dorky way, romantic, artistic, absolute nerd... Neurodivergent? Very likely. Obviously I romanced him and have been obsessed since 💕

Wyll

Warlock business and hero complex aside he felt the most "normal" of them all. I immediately liked his kindness and charm. He usually had a very sound outlook on things as well.

My only gripe with Wyll is that his personal story kinda fizzles out. For a good while there he had the most interesting story and I was so curious to see where it would lead. Sadly the answer was mostly meh. As the son of Duke Ravenguard he should've been front and centre in Act III, but even in his personal quest he barely had any agency or even much of a part to play. And more than once I had to step in to make decisions for him instead of him having his own opinions!

I still really like his personality though. Might try romancing him in a future run. Hopefully he's less passive in that...

Karlach

I love her. I love everything about her. Her gorgeous looks, her golden-retriever-with-an-attitude personality, her battle prowess... I want her and I want to be her in equal measure. ❤️‍🔥

I had known her for all of five minutes before deciding she must be protected at all costs. AT ALL COSTS!!

Which was sadly proving very very difficult. Her personal story is just... heartbreaking. None of the things happening to her are her own fault, she doesn't deserve any of this. Act III was so stressful because there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save her. I bawled at least twice during her story and was afraid her ending would ruin me completely. 😭 Luckily, she went to Avernus with Wyll in the end. I'm not sure I would've continued playing if she hadn't made it.

Hey, maybe that's how I'll break my BG3 addiction? I make a run where I intentionally make sure Karlach dies? That might actually do the trick. 🤔

The non-origin companions

Minthara Didn't know she was a potential companion and killed her. Oops.

Halsin Mr I'm-sexy-and-I-know-it. Also such a wonderfully nice and stable person (showing my age again lol). No breakdowns, no angst, no drama. He's old enough to know who he is and what he wants. Had a moment of weakness where I actually considered breaking up with Gale for him. Obviously couldn't do that to my beloved wizard but... I admit I thought about it.

Jaheira Easily the coolest of them all. I love her no-nonsense attitude and the way she talks to me. She is who I want to be when I grow up. 🫶 I only wish she showed up earlier so I got to spend more time with her.

Minsc and Boo He's so ridiculous but I can't help but laugh every time he opens his mouth. I was already playing a ranger so had no real use for him, especially since he shows up so late in the game, but I adore him. It would be fun to make a run with him and Jaheira as permanent Act III party members. The Netherbrain wouldn't know what hit it!