#Also Rebecca can you stop almost killing my boys?

[greenmaskedmarauder]

One thing I want to see more of in Onyx Storm is the bromance between Ridoc and Sawyer. They're besties! Also, I just know Ridoc will make a joke about Sawyer's leg at some point to try to cheer him up.

[mrsjoeythehurler]

When I Met You

(OC FMC x Liam Mairi)

All characters except for Aurora Sallow who is my OC and the FMC of this fic belong to Rebecca Yarros. The plot of Fourth Wing also belongs to Rebecca Yarros.

Content warnings: most of the warnings that are for Fourth Wing are also going to be in When I Met You. That includes: Blood, death, injury, violence and war. The only content warning I am adding is panic attacks (2)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟAurora Sallow ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

After Commandant Panchek's speech, we are given the rundown of what will happen for the next few months leading up to Threshing and what will happen after it. Then, we are all placed into our respective sections with our respective leaders.

Of course, Violet, Rhi, and I were all placed in Dain's section as he requested. We're now members of Second Squad, Flame Section. And even though I may not like Dain that much, Violet trusts him, and that's good enough for me.

As we're waiting for the rest of the wings to be called, I can't help but think back to the boy from earlier. He was so handsome I couldn't get my mind off of him. I fight the urge to look for him in the crowd, but it's hard. I want our eyes to meet again. I want to get lost in them. It was only one look, but I felt it like a charge throughout my entire body. I couldn't get him off my mind.

The roll-keeper begins speaking again, breaking me out of my thoughts. Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I turn my attention to the dais.

Earlier, we found out that 100 of us cadets survived the Parapet, while sixty-seven did not. It was hard to hear, especially when you realize that none of the fallen cadets would get a proper burial.

When people die, instead of being laid to rest, their names are called once upon those who are there to listen, and then all their belongings must be burned, not even sent back to their families for keepsakes.

They will never get to see their families again, and their families will never be able to give them the proper goodbye they deserve. It breaks my heart, so I provide the roll-keeper with all my attention whenever a name is called. I want to hold their names in memory so that I can remember them and pay my respects.

Just then, Rhiannon leans in towards Violet and I. "What do you think they're talking about?"

I look to the left of the dais and see Xaden and the other Wingleaders talking amongst themselves.

"I have no idea," I tell her.

"Quiet." Dain hisses, not even sparing us a glance.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I don't think they'll hear us from all the way over here, but I don't tell Dain that. Something tells me he hates being wrong. Or he takes his job very seriously. Maybe a little too seriously.

Suddenly, the roll-keeper looks towards our group. "Dain Aetos, you and your squad will switch with Aura Beinhaven's." She commands.

Wait, what? Are we switching squads?

Dain nods and tells us to follow him, so we do.

Right to Fourth Wing.

Why did we switch wings? I look at Rhi who gives me a confused look, mirroring my own. I then look over towards Violet, but she seems frozen…and a little pissed off.

"You're all cadets now," Xaden says, his voice carrying out over the courtyard. "Take a look at your squad. These are the only people guaranteed by Codex not to kill you."

Well, that's reassuring.

"But just because they can't end your life doesn't mean others won't." He goes on. "You want a dragon? Earn one."

Almost everyone starts cheering. I think Violet and I are the only ones who don't.

Xaden says, "And I bet you feel pretty badass right now, don't you, first years?"

More cheers erupt around us, but again, I stay silent. I don't think there was one moment in my life when I felt badass. I don't even think I understand the meaning of the word. Not even after completing the Parapet. I just felt relieved I got Sawyer and me to safety.

Xaden suddenly stops talking, and the sound of wings can be heard over the wind.

"Oh gods, they're beautiful," Rhi whispers from beside me as a riot of dragons appears.

I'm speechless.

I've seen dragons before, but only in the sky far away. Never up close.

Sometimes at night, when it was late, and I couldn't sleep because my anxiety would keep me up, I would sit beside my open window looking out into the night sky, gazing at the stars, and breathing in and out to the clouds passing in front of the moon. Occasionally, one or two dragons would fly in front of the light, creating the perfect silhouette. It would never frighten me, only make me feel comfort at a time when I needed it most. Like I wasn't really alone in my anxiety. Like the dragons were telling me they see me.

But these aren't far away like those I would catch glimpses of from my window. These dragons were headed straight towards us.

They all land on the outer semicircular wall: one red, two green, one brown, one orange, and one navy. All of them are huge and magnificent, but the navy one is massive—tremendously larger than the rest. Their large talons grip the edge of the wall, their scales shimmering with the sun's light gleaming off them, and their semi-translucent wings are gorgeous.

A few cadets around me scream, but I know better.

When I was a Scribe, I would read a lot about dragons. I wanted to know about the creatures that visited me each night beyond my window. I know what to do and what not to do when in the presence of one. You should stay calm and still and not make any noise. You also shouldn't show any fear, as they can sense it. Dragons are not dumb. You shouldn't make loud noises or try to run in the opposite direction, as this makes the dragon see you as prey. If you do that, you could die.

When I see a cadet from Third Wing make a run for it, I hold my breath. I know what will happen next, and there's nothing anyone can do about it unless they want to meet the same fate.

To my left, I see the red dragon open its mouth, revealing large, razor-sharp teeth and shooting flames toward the fleeing cadet.

He's ash on the ground in less than a second.

There are two more gusts of heat, one to the left of me and one to the right.

Two more cadets are gone.

"Anyone else feel like changing their mind?" Xaden shouts as he scans the rows of cadets, most with faces of horror after what just occurred. "No? Excellent. Roughly half of you will be dead by this time next summer." He goes on, "A third of you again the year after that, and the same your last year. No one cares who your mommy or daddy is here. Even King Tauri's second son died during his Threshing. So tell me again: do you feel invincible now that you've made it into the Riders Quadrant? Untouchable? Elite?"

Silence.

"Because you're not untouchable or special to them." Xaden continues as he points towards the enormous Navy dragon, but his eyes seem to be on Violet as he says, "To them, you're just the prey."

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

The next day, all of us are getting ready to go to our first Battle Brief.

We met in the courtyard earlier, where Captain Fitzgibbon read the death toll of the fallen cadets. We were then instructed by Dain and Sawyer to go back to our dorms to get what we needed for Battle Brief.

Actually, I believe Sawyer's exact words were "get your shit and don't be late."

Violet, Rhi, and I are in the hallway, walking towards our dorm, which we all share, when Rhi suddenly says, "That has to be hard."

I give her a confused look.

"Sawyer." She says. "Being set back and having to do this all over again."

"Better than being dead," Ridoc says, walking past us.

I roll my eyes at Ridoc. "Yeah." I agree as we continue walking. "But Sawyer's alright. He's handling it well. He seems to be doing okay."

"Oh yeah," Rhi says, giving me a smug look. "You two are close, aren't you? Do you like him? Is there something going on?"

I laugh as we all turn a corner. "No. I don't like him like that. But he is a great friend, and if either of you ever have a thing for him, I'll be happy to put in a good word."

Rhi gives me a big smile. "I may have to take you up on that."

I haven't told either of them about the boy from yesterday who I can't stop thinking about. It's not like anything is going to happen there. Besides, who even knows if he was looking at me the way I was looking at him. Maybe I had something on my face.

We're almost to our dorms when I hear someone whistle. All of us stop in our tracks. We turn to see Dain, and his eyes are set on Violet.

"I'll be—"Violet starts.

But Rhi cuts her off. "We'll grab your stuff and meet you there. It's under your bunk, right?"

"You don't mind?" Violet asks.

"Of course not," I say. "It's no problem at all. Go."

"Thank you." Violet smiles at us before heading off in the direction of Dain.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

After Battle Brief, I return to my dorm to prepare for sparring.

Battle Brief is a class taught by Professor Devera, a woman with short purple hair and a purple Flame Section patch on her shoulder. It will be held every day.

It's an essential class in case any of us are called into service early. It's held in the circular tiered room that curves at the end of the academic hall. It is one of the only rooms that fits all cadets, filling every seat.

Because Battle Brief is a class that relies on the most current information, we are required to answer to Professor Markham, a scribe whom Violet and I know very well.

Violet and I were supposed to be mentored by Professor Markham this year at the Scribe Quadrant before he retires. Unfortunately, both of us were sent to the Riders Quadrant, so that won't be happening. Violet, especially, was going to be his star pupil.

During Battle Brief, we learned some new information about the upcoming war, which shocked every cadet in the room.

Professor Devera told us that last night, a drift of Braevi gryphons attacked the eastern wing near the village of Chakir because the wards faltered. Professor Devera said it took an hour for a squad to get there to protect the wards. Thirty-seven civilians were killed in the attack.

When we all heard this information, we were shocked. I swear you could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium.

When a first-year in front of me asked if this was the first time the wards had faltered, Professor Devera answered with a "no." All of us were even more shocked and confused.

Thanks to Rhi, well, it was actually Violet who told Rhi to ask the question, who asked what the altitude of the village was at; we found out it was a little less than ten thousand feet, which is way too high for Gryphon's to fly.

Gryphons aren't as strong as dragons and can't fly as high as they can. It made no sense for them to fly that high unless they knew the wards were about to fail. As Violet pointed out during class.

There's also no way those riders got there within the hour of the attack. It would have taken at least half that long to signal for help. Which means they were already on their way to the faltering wards.

Which also means they already knew the wards were breaking.

It turns out that Violet and I's suspicions were correct. Professor Devera told us that one of the dragons in the wing sensed the faltering ward and the wing flew to protect it. If they had not got there in time, there would have been more casualties, and the destruction of the village would have been worse than it is.

Xaden also made a comment during class that made me pause because it made sense. The gryphon riders were definitely looking for something, as the state of the village showed. Apparently, the buildings they'd already gone through were burned, and the others were being looted when the wing arrived.

The only question now is, what were they looking for?

That's something to think about later. Right now, I must focus on sparring and how I will get through this.

Considering my entire life has been focused on becoming a scribe and spending most of my time in the Scribe Quadrant, I have never done any sort of physical training. I have never fought another person in my life, and I wasn't planning on it. It's not like I had any time to practice before I got here. My parents didn't really give me a heads-up before they sent me here and away from my dream future like it was nothing.

After I finish putting my hair into a ponytail, I head towards my door and walk out into the hallway.

I turn the corner and bump into a wall.

Nope, not a wall. A person.

"I'm so sorry," I say, looking up and freezing.

It's him. The gorgeous boy from yesterday.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." He says as he looks into my eyes.

He gives me a small smile that shows off a dimple, and I can't function properly.

Realizing he has his hands on my shoulders to steady me, I take a small step back.

Clearing my throat, I give him a small smile of my own. "I'm Aurora."

"Liam." He says, still looking deep into my eyes.

His eyes are so beautiful. He is so beautiful.

"Okay, well," I say, shaking myself out of my stupor, "thank you for not being a wall."

I hate myself.

Liam laughs, and I want to bottle it up and listen to it forever. "No problem, " he says, putting his hands in his pockets. "You're going to spar?"

"Yes," I say. "I'm assuming you're headed there too?"

"I am." Liam nods. "Can I walk you there?"

I look up at him with wide eyes. "You want to walk me there?"

He scratches the back of his head, and a blush creeps up his cheeks. "Yeah," Liam clears his throat, "if you'll let me."

"Um… yeah, okay, sure." I give him a small smile.

We walk in silence for a couple minutes before the anxiety gets the better of me.

"So you're in Fourth Wing," I blurt.

I'm realizing now that I am absolutely not good at small talk.

He still gives me that smile. "I am. I'm in Second Squad, Tail Section. "

"Cool. I'm in Second Squad, Flame Section."

We're silent for a minute before Liam continues. "So, how are you managing the Riders Quadrant so far?"

"I think okay. I'm not as prepared as the rest of the cadets here are, but I'm learning."

Liam looks at me for a long moment. "Did you not want to become a rider?"

"No," I say, clearing my throat. "I used to be in the Scribe Quadrant. That was my goal, becoming a scribe."

"What made you change your mind?" Liam says, looking down at me with those mesmerizing eyes.

"My parents. They told me two days before conscription day that I needed to become a rider."

Liam furrows his brows. "They didn't give you an option? They just told you that you needed to become a rider, and that was that?"

I look down, suddenly feeling stupid. "Yes," I murmur.

I don't tell him that I've never said no to my parents in my life. I don't like disappointing people or feeling like a burden, so when my parents told me that I was going to the Riders Quadrant, I went along with it—even if that meant destroying my hope for the future.

"I'm sorry." He says.

I shrug. "It's okay. My friend Violet is here too. We were in the Scribe Quadrant together."

"It's good that you have someone you know here, " he says, looking over at me. "I'm glad you have someone you know here."

Looking up at him, I give him a small smile. "Yeah, me too."

We continue down the hall in a comfortable silence until we reach the sparring gym.

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Goddamn why does dark Selina have to be so cool??

Suarez can freeze dark Selina???? That is badass.

My God Ira is rolling so well. 27 dice of damage? That is insane.

Did he just strip Reiss of his perfect clarity easy peasy? Yes! Anything to make Reiss look like the loser he is.

Goddamn Arabella is also very cool. Team astral is going strong.

Ira not wanting Arabella to associate with him. 😂 I'm glad they can still laugh and be a little silly in all this.

Noo they counterthaum his thingy??? Oh they failed.

Reiss failed!!! Yay! I really hope he dies the most pitiful death. Like that people almost don't even care.

Noooooo they possess Eden??? Not our baby! How dare they. 🥺

Apocalyptic form??????????? Oilblsck owl wings, 2 extra arms?? Demon horns??? Extra eyes???? I am cackling. This is def unhinged final battle shit. 😂😂 Also understandable why he didn't use this before, this is not subtle.

Omg the reactions. I don't know I'm ready. 😭

"Oh god." 😭 Wynn bb.

"Miles isn't selfish." 😂 he said that with a straight face too.

Wait who shot Suarez? One of the blsck hand guys?

So basically this roll will mean we might have a season 3 Johnny boss fight??? Plz No. Thank fuck!

-10 on the dice pool??? Wtf Dark Selina?? For someone who loves to fight you don't want to be hit. Kind of mid if you ask me.

13 successes???? That's my boy!!!!! Hell yeah Johnny!!!! Okay she rolls 7 successes but still!

She soaks 11 and she halves all damage?? Goddamn! That is fucked up. Like I know she is powerful but fuck!

46 dice blood pool???

Garrett rolling so bad for her blood pool 😂😂😂 that is so funny.

Wait what??? Why is she all of a sudden getting 6 agg? Me so confused. But I mean I'm not mad about it.

Uhoh this sounds like a Lasombra black hand person.

Okay I know I'm late in asking this in the last episode, hlbut how is lethal damage less bad than agrivsted damage? That makes no sense.

Johnny just got 9 blood? Woah! So tenah is sacrificing herself rn, right?

Oh god Suarez dead and headless?? Brutal.

I feel like Johnny saving the life of the werewolf is so pivotal, maybe not in actual combat but in showing who Johnny is as a person.

Oh, I guess I should have said trying to save the life of that lupine.

Everything goes black??? He dies???? Hahaha haha I'm not laughing hysterically and panicked, you are!

Noooooo!!!! Not just like that?!!?? Wtf 😭😭😭 I somehow assumed Johnny would live. He's such a beast. Now who's gonna kill dark Selina?!?

Also remember 3 lines ago when I said the choice might not be pivotal to this fight. Well I was definitely wrong.

I am screaming!!!! What if Miles made a final deal to get Johnny back oml 😍😍😍

Rebecca trying to be a good girl and reminding Lex of Selina powers and being rewarded with the knowledge that it's a presence power. 🥰

She soaks 11??? Damn. Britta is trying her hardest. 😭

Wow dark Selina, jealous of Britta in all this? That's wild. Also spreading Britta's bosyparts across the state like some fucked up treasure hunt is highly messed up!

Dark Selina is so petty. 😂😂😂 "Your father is dead, shut up."

Come on Miles, baby! What's one more deal for your boo? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (I scared my dog I screeched that hard)

He can fucking teleport???? I'm sorry, demon Miles is fucking dope. Even the demon portals are kind of a charm.

Holding someone up in the air by the neck.

The fucking shocked Gasp from Rob when Lex said Neil 😭😭😭 I'm immediately crying.

(the line: "the only thing that makes sense to you is that wherever you are, Neil is there." is gonna be such a lifeline for shippers to cling to.)

Johnny, baby. 😭 The hug. The conversation. I don't know why, but I wasn't ready for this.

Remember when we were laughing at Wynn sending tremere to their room and not sobbing? Good times.

Omg I kind of forgot about the Johnny resurrection. Damn poor Neil all alone again.

Johnny can control his frenzy???? Woah!!! Kill this bitch!!!

"Save them, I've made the deals I needed to." Stop! 😭

The glee in Tim's voice killing these people.

Noooooo the oubliette!

Wait now she has jess and Eden???

😂😂😂 They're in the last battle of the world and they're arguing about if they need to scrap movie night from the curriculum.

Ira is such a badass.

Noooooo Reiss!!!!, now she's gonna eat the girls.

No nono nono Reiss cannot leave! He needs to die!!!

Yaaaaay fire damage!!

YESSSSSSSAAA HE FUCKING KILLED HER!!! SHE'S FUCKING ASSSSHHHHJ BABY!

Okay now that I've cheered and all that I'm basically only halfway through this episode. Uhoh!

Omg Weathers????

Johnny and the fire flower.

"He ran away." Wynn plz 😭

"Miles thinks you should do that can you change your line, Miles?" 😂

Wait why are we taking Delgado?

Thank you, Miles! I mean I get the complicated relationship Johnny but wild to just bring him.

Wynn is not taking Neil's death well, not that I think she would. But she's angry.

AAAAAAAHHHHH is he gonna drink her??? Yes pllleaase!!! Noooooo whyyy you gotta be sensible??? 😭

Johnny going from angry to soft at Miles. "Friends till the end." 😭😭😭

If they know the weapon that kills Selina, why do they need pendragon just go to Hartford and get it?

The Britta/Johnny hug 🥺🥺🥺 (I know someone who is gonna Love this)

This is a testament to how insane shit has been that I had already forgotten that Wynn had to choose between Neil and Britta back then.

Not the almost childlike hope of Johnny that they can just find Neil's ghost and solve this.

"and tries to tell herself to get up, because he's not coming to help her." excuse you! I'm walking my dog and crying rn. I thought we might have a quick break where I could be in public and listen to this goddamn podcast!

Miles trying his best to sound so casual up on the rooftop. But still hoping there is a way. Saying he doesn't think he can stay instead of full out saying he can't. Damn.

Even in this moment you cannot unravel your emotional constipation???? God fucking damnit Miles!!!

You're making me fucking cry about cigarettes??

Britta: I don't know if I like being called a death assassin

Wynn: I don't know what other kind there is.

Touche Wynn. 😂

Why does it sound like they are kind of leaving Britta behind? That would be fucked up.

Johnny and his girls though, how perfect would that be? Okay good Britta is gonna get to do her own thing by her own choice instead of just being left behind. 😂

Yaaaaay Britta finally saying she is good at something! Only took us 100 episodes to get her to recognise her potential.

Miles' final piece of accounting advice: it's your car, you can paint it any colour you want.

Uhoh. UHOH. Noooooo. We knew this was coming, but it's still so freaking sad. Fucking Lucinde, why is she just the worst? Even when she's gone she is still ruining this. Why not let them have one last night together? One last group hug. Wynn fearfully begging Miles to go and make sure she never finds him.

Miles still taking care of all of them though, making sure they have papers and money.

If I'm gonna be honest I kind of assumed/hoped we would just kill Lucinde before this was an issue.

Jessica is so awesome. (this is a compliment! Before we have a whole John is so cool thing all over again. 😂)

I cannot believe John Fucking Reiss is still alive!!!! I stfg! That was my only hope. That he'd die. 😂

What the fuck??? Roman Pendragon did a TV interview covered in blood??? 😂😂😂😂 Sorry that makes me crack up. That is insane.

"I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow." 😂

"... Into the dark." idk why but those last three words gave me goosebumps. I can't believe it's done.

Also on the one hand I'm glad Miles is alive, but idk maybe it's because I so assumed he'd would for sure die. And I hoped he'd die sacrificing himself. But if I really let go of my obsession with bringing Miles pain and being the idea of him and Arabella like that is kind of funny. Also the fact that Zofiel always gets his way is amusing. I also know that alive is aparently a stretch after that ritual.

The not my name?!? Omg

[conquerthenight]

I’ve been thinking nonstop about the time someone on ao3 mentioned that Maxim took on some of Rebecca’s worst traits as a way to cope with (or that some of his own worst traits were exacerbated by) the abuse he endured by Rebecca’s hand. And that honestly makes so much sense.

None of this an excuse for how he behaves, but I think it could be an explanation.

I mean, think about it. We know he has quite the horrible temper. In the musical Beatrice states that he was “the same way as a child” meaning that his anger issues have always existed in some way. Of course that is most likely true, but take that and add in years of emotional abuse and it’s certainly a recipe for disaster. What used to be an ordinary bad temper became something border lining on volatile over the years. We see that in those moments Maxim snaps at his second wife. In the musical, during the first boathouse scene, Maxim rushes after his wife who had run offstage in terror, as if he was about to hit her before ultimately realizing what he was about to do and stopping himself in his tracks.

We know that Maxim can be quite cold and distant when he wants to be. At times he is also super patronizing and mocking. In the musical it’s a bit less so (but even that has the “you react like a child” line) but in the book he’s constantly talking down to his wife. Perhaps he does so because Rebecca did the same to him? Of course, Rebecca definitely didn’t compare him to a child as Maxim did to his second wife, but she could have mocked him with his insecurities (his obsession with holding up his family’s reputation, his intense desire to be seen as a strong figure and the toxic level of pressure he puts on himself as a result).

And of course, we can’t talk about Maxim or Rebecca’s worst traits without mentioning manipulation and the abuse of power dynamics. And what’s more is that both of them are fully aware that they are manipulating the situation. Rebecca sought to control Maxim by holding her affairs, Manderley’s standing, etc. over his head knowing full well he either wouldn’t or couldn’t (or a combination of the two) divorce her. See the lyric in “Kein Lächeln war je so Kalt”: “Divorce was taboo for the de Winter family. The family honor was worth more to me than my pride, and she relished in her triumph”.

Likewise, Maxim knows full well that his second wife came from basically nothing. He knows she’s financially dependent on him and that should their marriage fail in some way, she would have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. He even outright admits to her that he “did a selfish thing” marrying his second wife and that he “should have waited and let [his wife] marry a boy of [her] own age”. He knows that he has (and arguably still is) manipulating the dynamics in his own favor until the very moment he confesses to Rebecca’s murder and the power shifts from Maxim to his young wife.

Both Maxim and Rebecca know that they are absolute monsters. But it’s important to also note where they differ. While Rebecca revels in her absolute assholery and abusiveness, Maxim’s situation is the opposite. He hates himself for his own assholery and has basically condemned himself to a suffering of his own making.

Ironically, Mrs. Danvers said it best: “He’s made his own hell, and he has no one but himself to thank for it”. Was Mrs. Danvers just trying to get under the new Mrs. de Winter’s skin and hit her where it would hurt most? Yes. Was it said out of bitterness over Rebecca being replaced? Yes. But was she correct in her assumption? Also yes.

And of course, the key difference between Rebecca and Maxim is that all important shift in power. Rebecca held the power for almost the entirety of their relationship, and Maxim sought to take that power back through any means necessary resulting in Rebecca’s murder. When Maxim eventually confesses to said murder, it serves as an act of giving up that power he had claimed by killing Rebecca. He can no longer hold the weight of it because he knows he is damned and thus power transferred itself to his second wife. Where he was previously codependent on Rebecca, his second wife became codependent on him upon their marriage, and ultimately he became codependent on his wife upon his confession.

This is where the adaptation of Rebecca’s traits begins to fade. Maxim becomes basically a shell of himself, barely keeping it together through the rest of the story if not for the influence of his wife. He becomes as reliant on her as she had previously been reliant on him. This toxic cycle is only truly broken with the burning of Manderley. Only then are they equals. Only then do they begin to truly grow.

Rebecca, on the other hand, never got that chance. It was taken from her by the very man she had ill used. She knew that her “pregnancy” was a lie. She knew that her cancer diagnoses would damn her to a slow and painful death. Did that stop her from perpetuating the cycle of abuse? No. Instead she continued with it until her last breath, passing the torch to Maxim in the process.

Maxim certainly was no innocent. He perpetuated this toxic cycle as well. The only difference was that the person he passed it onto ended up not only breaking the cycle, but also gave him the opportunity to heal from it. He knows he isn’t worthy of it. We as the reader/viewer somewhat know that too. And yet the second Mrs. de Winter unknowingly grants him this post Manderley fire. Maxim has the opportunity to redeem himself where Rebecca did not.

Whether he takes the opportunity or ultimately succumbs to his inner demons (figuratively or literally) is completely up to the one consuming the story.

Personally my opinion is ever changing. While the optimistic part of me believes that he does work to better himself and ultimately succeeds in doing so, the realistic part of me wonders whether that’s the case. Of course, when I am of the realistic opinion I don’t think he reverts back to the traits he took on from Rebecca and those that were made worse during his relationship with Rebecca, but rather he wallows in a state of being that is just numb to it all. He is stagnant in his recovery because he believes, he knows, that he is beyond help. Things don’t get worse, but they certainly don’t get better either.

Ultimately Maxim de Winter is a character that foretells the tragedy of abuse and how the cycle of abuse can continue in ways that those trapped within it don’t comprehend until it’s too late. He is and isn’t a victim. He is and isn’t a perpetrator. We root for his relationship with his second wife on our most hopeful days and yet we don’t on our most cynical. He is an asshole. He is a dick. He isn’t exactly the best of men. And yet he is also broken. He is lonely. He is lost.

He finds what he is looking for in the end to an extent. A love that, while not exactly the healthiest, sets him on a path to becoming a better person. The relationship between Maxim and his second wife is in a way just like the drive leading to Manderley itself. Constant twisting and turning, plenty of bumps in the road, obstacles that temporarily prevent them from moving forward. And the beauty of it is that they do, in their own twisted way. They move on from the cycle of abuse they started in, however irreparably damaged and emotionally numb Maxim may be by the end.

“Love that liberates”. I’ve seen plenty of debate over whether that signature line from the musical is applicable to the story of Rebecca and the journey the de Winters take. My two cents is that it is, although the love itself isn’t what liberates the de Winters, Maxim in particular. Maxim may delude himself into believe that the love his second wife shows him despite his crimes is what liberates him, but while it certainly sets the foundation for their liberation from the cycle, in the end it is he who must crawl out of the hell he created for himself. No one can pull him out of it but himself.

[occasionally-good-authoring]

Vines and Blood Soaked Dirt

@rainbow-frog-earrings

i swear when i made this i wasn’t going for angst but the book timeline y’all—

tw: blood, kidnapping, choking, death

Of all the bad decisions Simon has made in his lifetime, this has to be the worst. He just had to come along to talk to the Seelies. 

Great job there Lewis, now you’ve got vines threatening to kill Jace and Clary, they think bitterly. Of course he’d do this. 

“What do you even want?” he asks, not taking their eyes off of Clary and Jace, who gasp for air that will not enter their lungs.

“I want to play a game,” the Seelie Queen says lightly. She seems so excited, smiling like Rebecca does when she’s about to bankrupt Simon in Monopoly. 

“Like what? Fucking checkers?” he snaps. 

Great job, Simon. Perfect reaction. The Seelie Queen laughs, throwing her  head back slightly. Then she looks back to Simon, smiling with sharpened teeth. 

“Kiss the one you desire most,” she tells them. She stares at him as his face twists in surprise. They know he can’t take much longer, one thing they remember from Rebecca’s true crime phase is that it doesn’t take much longer than four minutes to choke. He doesn’t know how long it’s been, but it can’t be much longer now. 

“This cannot be real,” they mutter. The Seelie Queen opens her mouth, Simon turns to glare at her. They don’t have time for whatever stupid remark she’s going to come up with. 

He knows who he should be kissing. They know exactly what everyone’s expecting and why Jace eyes are telling him, for the Angel’s sake just kiss her already, and why Clary’s are telling them, come on, kiss me already. 

But he also knows exactly why they hope their eyes are telling the two, for fucks sake this is not an easy decision right now. They know it really should be, kiss his girlfriend to keep the two, you know, alive. But with the, well, certain feelings he’s been having for Jace recently (okay, not recently), make it a bit harder than anyone in the court thinks it should be. 

“One more minute,” the Seelie Queen says in a sing song voice that makes Simon want to claw his hears out. 

Okay, okay, okay. Easy choice, Lewis. It’s Clary. Ms You’ve-Been-In-Love-With-Since-Seventh-Fucking-Grade, Simon tells themself. Then they take one look at Jace and all he can think is:

Wow. Goddamn yeah, there goes all my certainty.

“Oh! The boy’s lips are blue! Oh my, I didn’t think it would take you this long.”

Fuck.

Simon decides that if he can’t decide, why not kiss them both? Work out their feelings by magic, not actually figuring it out. 

He kisses Clary, stepping back and realizing that, oh shit, the vines aren’t moving. 

I’ll deal with this later. They hope that this won’t make Jace hate him even more than he already does. Simon grabs the sides of Jace’s face and kisses her blue tinted lips, quickly and pulling away after just a moment. 

The vines are already almost off of the two. Jace looks surprised, and Simon can’t blame them. Clary is seething, and Simon can’t blame her. They know she’ll start yelling soon, Clary always yells when she’s mad. 

“I—I have to go. Game night with Becca,” Simon says quickly. They can hear Clary yelling at him for them to come back when he starts to run away. Someone’s running after them, heavy footsteps falling behind his own. They don’t look back to know who. He loses whoever was following them. 

He doesn’t know where he’s even running to, their lungs and legs burning so painfully they could think he was even on fire. He stumbles in their steps until they tumble to the pavement of an alleyway, rocks digging into his hands. It leaves them heaving on the ground wishing his jeans weren’t ripped on the knees, with blood staining the pastel purple denim. These have always been his favorites. 

They press their hands to his knees, trying to stop the bleeding, only pushing the rocks deeper into their skin. Tears spring to his eyes. They run a hand through his hair, streaking blood through the brown. 

“Do you need help?” someone asks, voice like velvet. Simon doesn’t look up, and shakes their head. The someone grabs their hand from their hair and sighs as if looking at a home cooked dinner. 

“No. I don’t need help,” Simon says quickly. Maybe they did not see the shake of his head.

“Disappointing, it would be easier.” Fear rises in Simon. This will not end well.

“Let me go.”

Silence.

“Let me go,” he says, stronger in his words with confidence they do not have.

The stranger picks Simon up. Simon tries to fight.

The stranger is so strong.

“Let me go!” Simon shouts. They do not. They drag him into a rundown building that Simon would recognize anywhere. Hotel Dumort, the worst possible place for him to be. He screams more, trying desperately to pull away, to run, to do anything but be here. 

He screams for help as more and more vampires come in, looking at him, smiling, and saying:

“Trust me, you’ll be some much better after this. You’ll thank us.”

He screams and screams until they can’t anymore. There are so many fangs in his skin, draining every ounce of blood from their body until the rest of the world turns to black. Their life having been torn from his body. 

.

They’re so hungry when he wakes up. Oh so hungry and they can smell the blood through the dirt. The dirt, so thick and heavy, pressing down on his chest. He is cold. Is that why?

He digs and digs, rocks tearing up their hands that will not bleed. Breaking to the surface they take a gasp of breath that they do not need to take, soil thick in his lungs. Someone throws blood to him. 

They break into the bag, blood running down their filth caked throat.

He is not hungry anymore. But their hands are bloody.

How did they get this blood? They cannot remember. Why is dirt covering their body? Oh god, what has he done? What has been done to them? 

Someone’s hand grazes his shoulder, he scrambles away. They will hurt whoever it is. They will not hurt anyone else. They begin to hyperventilate with his lungs that shouldn’t breathe inside a body that is too cold.

He stares at their hands, which have started to sting with blood that is not his. That will never be his because blood will never be something that is his again. 

“—Simon!” someone yells. They snaps their head to the yell. Jace is there, concern laced in her features. Jace steps closer. Fear bubbles up in Simon’s throat, but they do not back away. Clary is standing off to the side. She is crying, he thinks. Is it Clary’s blood in his veins? Did he hurt her? 

The thought makes him sick. 

“It’s okay,” Jace says softly. It is not okay. It will never be okay. The inside of his bottom lip bleeds, fangs of his own cutting them. Simon tries to speak. All the sounds get stuck in the dirt of their throat. 

Go. I will hurt you just as they hurt me. I have hurt someone already, he longs to say. Make Jace step away from his cursed self. She steps closer, and sits next to Simon. 

They try to back away, to save Jace. A gravestone stops him. Jace moves back. 

“Cough, Si, it’ll get the dirt out of your throat,” Jace tells them softly. Simon does, blood soaked filth coming from his throat. They look to Jace, taking in a shaky breath he does not need. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” they say. His voice ragged, still ruined from screams and rocks. He stares at his hands, stained with cherry red. Jace reaches out, a cloth wiping away the stains.

“You haven’t hurt anyone. It was cows blood, Raphael brought it.”

“No—they did. I will, it’s—”

“You are not who did this to you, Simon.” Jace holds Simon’s hands, looking him in the eye, and Simon finds it hard to convince themself that Jace is lying with his next words. “You’re still you, and I know you. And you won’t hurt anyone.”

Simon shakes, harder and harder until sobs start to come. He pulls Jace towards him. Jace holds them, rubbing circles on his back while he grips Jace’s shirt. 

He is careful not to crush Jace with strength he should not have.

“I’m sorry, Simon. I should’ve protected you,” Jace whispers. He holds Simon closer, Jace’s warmth making Simon’s cold fade away.

They do not know how to respond.

[pretoriafics]

Teenage Dream Pt. 2 (Interactive story)

Man! I think this one is the most amazing thing I'd ever written! I'll request from all of you guys special attention at the end of this chapter. I'll let you a message, and I'm pretty sure you will love it!

Derek took you to his loft. While you are alone, you start to understand the environment you were now part of. Word count: 2.056 Pairings: Different Dimension!Reader x Derek; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Laura; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Cora; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Talia Contain: It’s pretty fun; AU Warnings: English is not my main language <3 PART 1 ALTERNATIVE VERSION TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

You finally entered Derek's loft. Oh, man... It was just like in the tv show!

You enter the loft just like if you had entered paradise. With your mouth opened in pure fascination, you swirl around your feet while looking around. Derek came just behind you with arch eyebrows. It would be funny if it doesn't be scary.

"Oh. My. Godness. Is it here that all the pack meetings are made?"

Derek didn't reply to you. Instead of it, he just stares at you. He gives a few steps forward, getting closer to you.

"What's your name?"

You swallowed hard. Derek was with his usual cold expression, arms crossed in front of his chest, and no patience for bullshit.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)."

"Good. Look (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you will stay right here. You will not get out, you will not call anyone, or speak with anyone. If you run away from here, I'll kill you faster than you could say to me what happens at season one. Did I made things clear to you?" Shrunken in fear, you just nod, and Derek narrows his eyes to you. "Okay. I need to see someone that you probably know, so-"

"Braeden? Jennifer? Deaton?"

Derek sounds confused to hear the first two names. So, you simply thought that he didn't meet them yet.

"Not of your business."

He gives his back to you, walking out of his loft and closing the door, locking you there. And, wow, you have Derek's loft all for you! Oh man, it just like on the fanfics!

Well, you were curious and excited as hell. Your first thought was something pretty plausible: You used to watch Teen Wolf when you were a teenager. So, being inside the series was just like time-traveling. Smartphones aren't a thing yet, and Dua Lipa music still unknown. As a way to test this theory, you walk in the radio's direction and turn it on. The music that started to fill the room was Friday by Rebecca Black. Yeah, you remind that song, and you instantly felt nostalgic. But it could be just random music on the radio, right?

You switched the radio station, and then Party Rock Anthem By LMFAO starts to play. Well, another song of 2011... But you aren't so sure yet, so you switch the radio station one last time. You almost fell on your back when Domino by Jessie J fills the room. You took a confirmation that yeah, you were back in the 2011's. You are probably during the events of season one.

Well, Scott has just been bit by Peter, Derek just came back from town, and... You are now in the middle of all of that.

"Oh, man!"

You can't do anything for a while. So, all you could do is wait for Derek and whatever he was doing now. You look around while Jessie J sings on the radio, giving you a few nostalgic feelings. Well, you would take a relaxing bath. There's just one problem: All the clothes you have is the one you're wearing now. Without giving a damn, you walk to Derek's wardrobe direction.

"I'm sorry sour wolf, but I'll borrow a few clothes of yours." You open it and take a black shirt. Man, you felt thrilled! "Jeez, this is so like the fanfics!"

You go to the bathroom's direction, taking off your kitten pajama, and putting yourself under the hot water of the shower. Man, Rude Boy by Rihanna starts to play on the radio. You couldn't contain a laugh. It was funny because you were taking a shower and would wear clothes from a legit rude boy.

And, well, you started to sing. It was everything really nice for a few minutes: You were wearing Derek's shirt, listening to a few old pieces of music, and, now, you were in his kitchen making a sandwich.

When you sat on Derek's bed, with your wet hair and your sandwich, Starstrukk by 3OH!3 and Katy Perry started to play. Yeah, that time alone was being nice! You move your body in the music's rhythm while bites your sandwich, still sat on the mattress. You should enjoy that peace while it lasts!

The sandwich was cool, the music either... But you realized that, now, you had a golden chance that every fan would die to have: You are alone in Derek's flat. What kind of things he hides there?

After finishing your sandwich, you look around. You stand up from the mattress and walk around the loft. Getting upstairs, you could find some supernatural books, some weird things that you thought could be some magic stuff, and his laptop. Oh, man! What else hides in his internet searches?

You hold yourself, trying to decide if you should snoop his history on the internet or if you should see what he hides on his bedside table drawer.

When you go downstairs, Animal by Neon Trees fills your ears. You run to Derek's bedside table and opens his drawer. You found his cell phone charger, as well as the laptop one, a coin with a triskelion and... tons of condoms.

Your eyes got widen. This is definitely the kind of thing the TV show hasn't expose.

Also, you noticed Derek's loft needed some... cleaning.

Bored as never before, you walked to the kitchen searching for some cleaning stuff. You found some on a cabinet: A mop and a few other products. Oh, perfect! You took them and, soon, you were sliding the mop through the flat while sings Animal. The flat smells like lavender now, and the floor is so clean that you are proud.

You heard Magic by Rivers Cuomo and B.o.B on the radio, and you sing with the music reminding the parties at your friend's house after school. Suddenly, the door finally opens, and you heard Derek's voice.

"...She's not lying, and I need to know if you already saw something like that before."

You froze with the mop on your hand when you saw Derek. He froze as well. It was understandable: A complete stranger is cleaning his flat and wearing his clothes.

"...Oh, hi! I've borrowed your shirt."

Then, a female voice came behind him.

"There are tons of things that could cause this kind of thing. We need to investigate."

Talia Hale came after his son, as well as Laura and Cora. They also froze with the scene of you wearing Derek's clothes and cleaning his loft. You? Well, your eyes almost had pulled out of your face when you saw them. Talia inhales the air to her lungs, clearly smelling the air.

"Are this... Lavender?"

"Yeah, it is." Laura replied her mom, looking at Derek after that "I think lavender suits you. It's perfect for your flat. It is really your thing, Derek."

You were so confused! What are they doing there? Your chin fell, letting your mouth opened in pure disbelief. Derek rolled his eyes at Laura before look at you again.

"...She'll freak out."

"Oh. My. Gosh. Oh my gosh!!" The mop fell on the floor, and you ran through Talia, Cora, and Laura's direction. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

The Hale women look at each other, and Cora looks at you.

"Well, mom came here to help Derek with, uh, you. And I guess you already know us."

"You shouldn't be here!" You stare at Cora "You should be in South America! And both of you" You stare at Talia and Laura "I can't even talk about you two! Jeez!"

You put your hands on your head, with your mind blowing while the Hale family enters into the loft. Derek turns off the radio before staring at you again.

"I thought you were used to seeing me with them."

You stare at him, with your eyes widen. Your mind was full of theories already.

"Derek, you are definitely not understanding what is happening here. Your family shouldn't be here."

He arches his eyebrows, noticing there's something pretty wrong here.

"What do you mean?"

"Look" You approach them, looking at everyone "I'll do just one question: Did your house was burned some years ago?"

They look at each other, with the engines on their head trying to work. Talia stares at you.

"Yeah, but we had fortunately escaped."

"How about your brother?"

"Peter was the only one that hasn't managed to."

Oh, man... That means one thing. Scared as hell, you sat on the mattress. Derek started to feel anxious and approaches you.

"What's happening?"

You breathe in, staring at the family.

"It shouldn't happen. At the TV show, Talia dies at the fire. Cora ran to South America, Peter got burnt and goes to a clinic, Laura turns herself into alpha, and she stays with Derek. It means that I'm not on the TV Show. I'm inside a fanfic."

Oh, man... It means, basically, that you even haven't so sure about what will happens next. If you were inside the TV Show, you could predict the future. You couldn't do it if you were inside a fanfic.

While you were in complete shock, Talia looks at her family.

"Well... I'll search the most plausible theory of (Y/N)'s arrival. I think we can start looking for some witches near. It can be some work from a coven."

While the Hale family talks about you, you still sat on the mattress, thinking about what the heck was going on. Well, what kind of fanfic did you got into? Was It an insert-reader one, or was It just a common one? Are you the protagonist?

You would test your theory, and you would do it right now.

Knowing the opportunity was just right there, you ran through the flat's door. However, Derek notices your escaping.

"She's running away!"

A mess quickly takes form inside Derek's loft: His announcement made all the Hale run after you, trying to avoid your escaping. They don't know anything about you yet. It could be dangerous to have you simply walking around Beacon Hills.

Fast, you ran through the building until you go outside. A storm quickly takes form, and heavy rain starts to fell from the skies. To everyone's surprise, you stopped in the middle of the asphalt, looking at the sky.

"Hey!" You yelled to something up there "I want a sign! Hey, writer! Readers! Anyone! Am I inside of a fanfic? Answer me! Send me a clue, anything!"

A thunder lightens the skies, and you fell on your knees with a lack of a clue that could help you to find out what was going on. Then, you felt a hand grab your arm.

"Enough, weirdo." Laura said, holding you while the Hale family surrounds you to keep you from running away "You'll stay inside the loft."

With all the last hopes of yours, you look up from the skies. The rainwater runs through your body while you wait. You just want a sign! A clue!

Then, you thought you had seen something. Laura pushes you, making you stand up from the asphalt. And when she was started to drag you to the loft again, you saw something falling from the sky. Derek saw it too.

"Laura, wait."

Everyone looks up, noticing what the heck was that: It was a post-it paper falling from the skies in your direction. When it came close enough, you took it.

Man... When you read it, your face became pale as a candle, and you simply pass out on Laura's arms. Caught by surprise, Laura holds you while everyone runs in your direction. Cora took the post-it paper from your hand and, when she read it, she stares at her family completely incredulous.

"What?" Derek looks at her, in urgency to know what was that. Cora swallowed hard, starting to read the post-it paper out loud.

"Here says: Author's note: Yeah, you are inside a fanfic. Author's note two: Your story has just started, girl."

Yeah, for sure, the Hale family stares at each other in complete shock. Of course, they weren't expecting that your call for a sign would be replied to. Especially by me, the author of your story! Ha! And honestly? I'll think carefully if I'll help you during your journey inside your favorite TV Show, because, honestly? I'll not let things easy for you.

FINAL AUTHOR'S NOTE Here's the thing about this series: I'm the author mentioned at the end of this chapter, y'all are the readers mentioned in the story AND the (Y/N) of this story. Consider that the (Y/N) is the "you" from a different dimension, okay? Why should you consider this: Because you all can communicate themselves with the (Y/N) of that story! At every ending of the chapter, I'll request you to send me something to help the (Y/N) inside the story. You will send it through my ask, right here. Well, the (Y/N) has requested to the readers sent her a sign that she is really inside of a fanfic. Send me your clue for (Y/N) through my ask, and I'll put it on the next chapter to makes her freaking out.

I'll be waiting for y'all!

[angelsandarsenic]

I rewatched the Minecraft surgery mod video and had an Idea (TW for surgery, trafficking, themes of blood and gore, death)

What if, like in the surgery mod, organ transplants from other species gave people some of those abilities? The results would depend on compatibility (like blood type sort of), how many organs and which ones, only making species trafficking worse so that people could make sure to get what they wanted. Of course, there would also be side affects. Endermen are some of the most popular, closely second to phantoms. Shulkers are also quite highly valued, in part because of how difficult they are to get. Blaze modifications rarely go well, and creepers are rather volatile for most, but there are always buyers out there regardless.

It started when an emergency transplant was needed to save a life; the human’s enderman partner begged the doctors to just try to make it work, no human parts were available, but they had to save their partner. A week later, the human teleported for the first time. After that surprising success, an experimental procedure was proposed where shulker skin would be used for serious skin grafts to prevent more injuries. It also worked astoundingly well. Officially, hospitals decided not to offer more procedures like that, only saving them for special cases if necessary, but people were already buzzing about the possibilities. Within two years, the black market had exploded with species trafficking, organ and other body part sales, illegal procedures and a new occupation: The Hunters. After all, like a fisherman brings his catch to market, someone has to acquire the goods.

Of course, everybody knows what’s happening—it’s hard not to be aware when you could be kidnapped and killed, simply for how you were born. Unfortunately, little is done to stop it, as usual.

And as usual, not everyone was simply going to lay down and take it. From the quickly declining non-humans, avengers rise up to hunt the Hunters. Some get legalized, most prefer not to have to dance around the law and mercilessly eliminate any of the carnage they can find—especially when other non-humans are involved.

When Technoblade was younger, he was taken. He was afraid he would die, but sometimes he thinks what really happened was worse. Early experiments with wither transplants were mainly tested on piglins, due to their durability and nether origin. Technoblade was one of the only survivors, and he makes sure that applies to all black market hunters, buyers and sellers. One day, he stumbles upon Ranboo, a young enderman who had only just been taken. It should have been relatively easy to free him and the others and move on with his life, the only catch: two boys were already trying to. Tommy and Tubbo turn out to be a nightmare to have to work with when taking down the facility, unfortunately, Technoblade quickly gets attached. Thus, Benchtrio apprentice under Technoblade how to be vigilantes, meeting others like Wilbur—a phantom who was also almost a victim, and Phil, the kind avian (not a hunted species) who simply couldn’t stand by and watch. Absolutely no one gets hurt, this definitely isn’t insanely dangerous. Found family ensues with no bad endings or trauma.

I imagine it being like Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaefer and Because Dreaming Costs Money my Dear (I sobbed so hard because of this) by eneliii on ao3

[biohazard2017]

ok so quite predictably i have a lot. and i mean a lot of opinions so i'm immediately putting this under a read more ^_^

so ill start w the things i most liked bc i honestly had quite a lot of fun with this movie !! i think character-wise rebecca was a standout. idk like she was handled so well especially compared to vendetta. every time she talked it felt incredibly in character. the little giggle in her voice when she started talking about chemistry. her little "don't die!!!" to leon. her va was so so cute it was great. also loved leon (except for well. you guys all know). he made such terrible horrible jokes that it really just loops back into meta-humor. it was great to see matt mercer again like ive gotten more used to nick but mercer was my favourite for a reason and he did deliver. i also didn't mind jill as much as i was worried about! i found her delivery quite fitting and i just like that this is clearly jill's movie. yes, she's w chris and claire for a good chunk and leon is always the poster boy for the cg movies but it really did feel like HER movie even if well the story was quite bad (which we will get to later). chris and claire were the only 2 leads that i found a little same-y like chris is chris and claire is claire it was cute seeing them together but it wasn't particularly special. also HATE that they are fully committed to keeping claire out of the big fight scenes its so annoying!!! let her be w the rest!! but she did get some fun action scenes at least which is already a step-up from id.

another thing i really liked was the action it was just SO fluid. already, vendetta's hallway fight scene doesn't even hold a candle to so many of the scenes in this one. i liked the prison hallway one bc it highlights all 3 charas' strengths incredibly fast almost IMMEDIATELY into the movie. leon and jill's teamup feels like a natural evolution directly from vendetta with them working so closely together (also can we talk about them fighting each other to a standstill im dying to talk about that move over chris). loved the final boss section too i like that it just gives them an excuse to just play around with weapons and have fun with it. there were so many good kills it just looks so impactful sorry i keep using adjectives when i dont have anything useful to add. ugh the "it has a trigger." then the fact that they need to double shoulder the gun and chris is facing backwards 😭 literally so funny

final thing i enjoyed was all the callbacks? admittedly sometimes they are very fanfictiony almost but a lot of the time i liked the mentions. especially LOVED the harvardville mention like that NEVER comes up in any media since degen and NOW they bring it back?? i find that so refreshing tbh !! and i liked how they used a bunch of old footage for the intro too, really was not expecting leon killing benford cutscene to come back!!

now i can stop sucking capcoms dick. ok so like i mean this has been talked about alot around release but oh my god why is jill looking like that !!!!!!!!!! its a little (miniscule) amount of consolation that 5make is pretty much confirmed so its not so much dissonance bw remake and og 5 appearance but still like what... is sje going to be wearing that stupid tank top with the plague doctor outfit??? what was the point of the tentacle bit 😭😭like it was so gratuitious..

and also like bro they need to stop writing villains for these movies . like they are just so bad. not one has even been Good in any capacity. sometimes dylan's dialogue is quite interesting (quite neutral about the weird shift Back to anticapitalist sentiment of the og games but from the villains' pov..........) and then he just keeps fucking talking and talking and its such a fucking slog to get through like shut the fuck up already! and maria was just there to beat up leon for a bit and unceremoniously die like what the fuck! it was such a good fight sequence and then it just .. ended so abruptly? she punched through concrete! and she dies like that??? i GET that we're supposed to realise leon's adaptability and versatility and his gaining the upper hand or whatever but like he gained the upper hand in the last 5 seconds of the fight and she is way more versatile than he ever could be like sorry just bc he cld notice rebar sticking right at her if he hit her exactly or whatever leon is not going to smash into a monitor display pull out the wires and use it as a whip to throw someone else around like she has him BEAT in full. i was fine w the fact that he started getting used to and being able to bear her attacks as it went on it just couldve ended so much better if it wasnt . so abrupt! honestly i think it was just a BAD matchup i think chris v maria would be way more interesting bc they have COMPLETELY diff fighting styles compared to leon whose strengths align with hers. and also the bitch comment was so unwarranted like normally i have no issue with anyone saying the word but when leon said it i actually shuddered like i was Not expecting it and it was just really bad especially for a character like maria who was only in the movies to be a sexy lady in a bodysuit like ... bro what.... ANYWAY

like i just watched it so i dont think ive developed any more complaints or whatever its just dude dylan sucks so so much OH I REMEMBER i also do hate so much of the dialogue surrounding dylan the fact that all the mcs can say to him is just "youre insane!" or "asshole!" or "stop!" its like i love jill but the fact that thats ALL she says even in her final kill its so boring theres no dynamic its so nothing. also in the beginning when i said i liked that it was jills story i mean that just shes the mc. i dont mean she has any real kind of great character arc bc it really feels she doesnt progress as the movie goes on. shes still jill, and i feel that was also the point of the movie (the whole we just get numb to it.. etc bit) but like no other cg movie has had a chr arc either anyway so yeah it doesnt matter its just a little weird for whats essentially a comeback movie for jill, not just supplementary material for one of the series leads like it is for all the other leon movies

but anyway its probably a 7/10 rn for me bc i just really really enjoyed the action setpieces they clearly had a lot of fun with the movie and the fact that there is only a little bit of 1 out of 6 big fight scenes that i dislike really attests to that. ok review over im gonna go play 999 now:)

im gonna finalky watch death island yayyy

[ckhalloween]

1. There’s something odd about your new friends. Night-owls, wild, feral. When you ask, they joke that they’re Vampires. Haha yeah… right.

Vampires come in various shapes and forms: Tortured, animalistic, well-dressed, powerful, snarling, complicated, or as simple villains. TIG’s version (John Carpenter’s Vampires) was of the seductive and horrifying variant.

(Interview With A Vampire, The Hunger, Dracula, Carmilla, The Lost Boys, Twilight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Let The Right One In, What We Do In The Shadows, The Little Vampire, Thirst, 30 Days Of Night)

2. It’s not Madness And Obsession, it’s passion. Passion ain’t passion without a body-count.

Whether for a person, a career, a past no longer possible, a mystery, or for reasons you cannot comprehend, your whole life becomes about the pursuit. You’ll do anything to get it! 

(Black Swan, The Invisible Man (2020), Rebecca, Candyman, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Mulholland Drive, The Lighthouse, The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari)

3. What Creatures lurk in wait? In the undisturbed lake, deep underground, inside the cave that hasn’t been entered in a hundred years, angry and… starving…

The operative word here is generally B I G (with a few variants). The other is animal. These aren’t thinking and feeling, they’re just looking for a meal. And often the location itself (underwater, underground, a dark forest, an impenetrable mist, a flat desert) is just as hostile as the creature itself.

(Python, Lake Placid, Jaws, Tremors, Anaconda, The Mist, The Descent, The Host)

4. You can’t control yourself, almost like there are Demons inside of you. Or maybe that’s an excuse for bad behaviour. Better tie you to the bed, just in case.

Okay, the point of this is not are there demons, this isn’t a case of The Innocents (that one belongs under Religious Fervour) where the doubt causes tragedy, these are all-evil, head-spinning, wall-crawling, body-possessing nasties!

(The Exorcist, Possession, Evil Dead, Hereditary, The Conjuring, Jennifer’s Body, Sinister)

5. Alright, we can argue all day whether Zombies are authentically allowed to run or not, once you’ve stopped this one gnawing my arm off.

They’re zombies... do what they say on the tin. Nom nom nom. 

(Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, 28 Days Later, Train to Busan, World War Z, The Girl With All The Gifts, REC, The Last Of Us, Scooby Doo: Zombie Island)

6. Space is awesome, in the sense that its vast nothingness strikes terrifying awe and doesn’t care whether you live or die. Also there may be cool, face-eating aliens.

Space is cosmic. Space is big. Space is full of aliens and full of nothing at all. Space can kill you in a million ways. Sometimes space comes to earth and we wish it wouldn’t. Space. It’s out there.

(Event Horizon, The Thing, Alien/s, Predator, A Quiet Place, The Thing, Pitch Black, Doom)

7. Girl, help, my Supernatural Powers are leaving a bodycount...

I would say “telekinetic powers” but I feel like that limits the possibilities. A lot of them have psychokinesis, but there are some outliers. Generally it’s tied to teen-angst. I don’t know, being a teenager is stressful.

(Thelma, Carrie, Matilda, Doctor Sleep, Before I Wake, Stranger Things, Scanners, I Am Not Okay With This)

8. Breakdown in communications, violence on the streets, militaristic mind control, total societal meltdown – it’s like living in a Dystopia!

This one would be funny if it wasn’t so realistic. Maybe a good’ol alien body invasion is less terrifying than actual societal meltdown...

(The Purge, Us, They Live!, The Wailing, Battle Royale, The Road, Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers, The Faculty)

9. Yeah our mannerisms are suspect. Yeah we’re Serial Killers in a twisted, close relationship. It’s called queer culture, look it up!

If the trope is lowkey based in queerphobic queercoding uh... don’t fix it? You know that saying: “They queercoded villains to make us think being queer is bad, but now I just think villains are sexy.”

(Strangers On A Train, Diabolique, Rope, Scream, Stranger By The Lake, Psycho, Bound, Tragedy Girls)

10. In the Deep Blue Sea lurk all kinds of wondrous – and terrifying – beings.

I’m not saying write tentacle porn. Not all sentient fish-based lifeforms have tentacles. (Some of them do though). Most important is actually the teeth. Don’t forget, they’re not human, even if they are sexy.

(The Lure, The Lighthouse, Siren, The Shape of Water, Creature from the Black Lagooon)

11. Religious Fervour solves everything… at least that’s what the Christians think.

These are the Christians. I’m sure there are religious fervours around other major religions, but Christianity has its own special place in the horror/thriller pantheon. Fake witch-burnings, killing of the innocents, the feverish pursuit of God! Also the iconography, mmmm. Gay.

(The Seventh Seal, Prince Of Darkness, The Exorcist, Novitiate, Saint Maud, The Witch, Carrie, Paranorman, Fear Street: 1966, The Innocents)

12. The children of the night. What music they make. Just Werewolves releasing their monthly urges. Good for them.

Sometimes werewolves are kinda tortured. Sometimes they’re involved with vampires in some way. Sometimes they’re just living their best violent life.

(Ginger Snaps, Van Helsing, Blood & Chocolate, Company Of Wolves (The Bloody Chamber and...), The Werewolf (The Bloody Chamber and...), Cycle Of The Werewolf)

13. This Place Is Evil. I can feel it. It breathes. It wants to eat us alive.

The difference between this and ghosts or demons (although often there are also ghosts and/or demons) is the place itself: “Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within.” 

(The Haunting of Hill House, Evil Dead, Cabin In The Woods, Monster House, Coraline)

14. IT’S!!!! SCIENCE GONE WRONG!!!!! (also it’s alive)

Experiments and mad scientists and whatever is born from their wacky minds.

(Frankenstein, The Invisible Man, Re-Animator, Rocky Horror, Little Shop of Horrors, The Fly, Akira, A Cure For Wellness)

15. Cannibals: They’re basically just taking cooking and/or kink to the next level, right?

Sometimes cannibalism is kinda hot... uh, and sometimes it’s not.

(Silence Of The Lambs, Hannibal, Raw, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Terror)

16. Anyone else getting kind of a… pagan Cult vibe from these rituals? Just me, strapped to a sacrificial altar? Okay then. Carry on.

They’re people of the land. The land requires blood to thrive.

(Wicker Man, Midsommar, Apostle, Children of the Corn)

17. You shiver. Is it cold suddenly? A figure in the corner of your eye – you jump, but there’s nothing there. You laugh. There’s no such thing as Ghosts, you say, still looking…

Ghosts exist for all kinds of reasons. Loneliness, anger, injustice, sorrow, evil. What do they want? Maybe they want to help. Maybe they want revenge. Maybe they just want to touch someone again.

(Crimson Peak, Ghost, Casper, The Sixth Sense, Poltergeist, The Haunting Of Hill House, The Grudge, The Orphanage, The Ring, Ghostbusters, The Haunted Mansion, Beetlejuice)

18. Don’t Fall Asleep! Who knows what might be waiting for you in your dreams…

Insomnia is a nightmare. So is sleep-paralysis. So are demons stalking your dreams.

(Nightmare On Elm Street, Paprika, The Machinist, Doctor Sleep, Before I Wake, The Haunting Of Hill House, The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari, Hour Of The Wolf)

19. There’s something wrong with The Family. Like they wanna tear this outsider to pieces, or maybe each other. Aren’t all families like that though?

There’s just a lot of stories about odd families. Usually this manifests in their inevitable implosion, but sometimes it’s them against the world.

(Ready or Not, Get Out, Hereditary, The Babadook, Parasite, The Killing Of A Sacred Deer, It Comes At Night, The Addams Family)

20. A.I. is a mirror of humanity they say, so who can blame the Machines when they want to eradicate us…

I personally welcome our robot overlords.

(Terminator, 2001, Ex Machina, WarGames, The Iron Giant, Akira, Moon, Alien)

21. My eyes! Bleeding! I have seen Cosmic & Eldritch Terrors beyond imagination! I cannot possibly describe them! I must try!

Sometimes this happens in or around space. But the point is the bleeding eyes factor. This thing, this event, this... something... broke your brain. Like an ant for a moment comprehending how a human perceives ants. Also maths.

(Mouth of Madness, Color Out Of Space, Event Horizon, Annihilation, Hellraiser, The Mist)

22. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, Witches gonna make it double!

Finally onto a good Classic. Religious fervour can contain actual witches, but witches don’t need to have that kind of stress in order to uh.. witch. Sometimes they’re just chilling. But who would deny a hag a good spell or eating of human flesh? Mommy, amirite?

(Practical Magic, Hocus Pocus, The Witch, Witches of Eastwick, The Craft, Suspiria, Paranorman, The Covenant, The Witches, The Last Witch Hunter, The Blair Witch Project, Nanny McPhee)

23. Clowns can’t hurt you. Just the ones out for your blood.

Clowns. Carnivals. Bright lights. Big costumes. Honk honk. Billy Zabka in HIMYM... (Johnny Lawrence putting on his clown shoes and letting Kreese back into his life).

(IT, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, American Horror Story: Freak Show, Stitches, Carnival of Souls, Freaks)

24. Screens are brainwashing us and also contain unspeakable evils… literally

A subtrope/subsubgenre, but one that’s more and more fun (uh... disturbing) the more you think about it. Surveillance, A.I. overlaps, ghosts-IN-the-machine, the immortalisation of disturbing content that may come back to haunt you...

(The Ring, Videodrome, WarGames, CAM, Pulse, Poltergeist, Sinister)

25. Mom did you leave the back door open? Hope it’s not a Home Invasion, haha, ha… Mom?

Didn’t this basically just happen in TKK3 and in CK? It’s not like any of these places have good security.

(Halloween, Funny Games, Hush, Panic Room, Don’t Breathe, The Purge, Us)

26. Go to Summer Camp, they said! It’d be fun, they said! Nobody will die, they said!

Another classic that doesn’t have enough love. I didn’t want to rec Sleepaway Camp. People are still acting like the “surprise twist” of gender non-conformity is somehow shocking. Just let summer camp be about good old fashioned murder (and/or bears), without bringing in the transphobia, geez.

(Friday the 13th, Final Girls, Moonstalker, Fear Street: 1978, Cheerleader Camp)

27. The forest is deep, and beautiful, and easy to get lost in. Straight out of a Fairytale. But remember: The oldest stories are built on blood.

Nothing like a classic tale of blood, death, incest, gruesome transformations, and evil... you know. Kids Stuff.

(Pan’s Labyrinth, Brothers Grimm, Tale of Tales, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories, Bluebeard, The Company of Wolves, Labyrinth, Over The Garden Wall

28. I’m not saying all Children Are Evil, I’m saying your kids in particular are unsettling. Dunno if it’s the drawings of dead people or the glowing eyes, but definitely suspect.

I have personally met the Anti-Christ and he was a 7 year old boy I Au Paired once upon a time. Just saying.

(The Omen, Orphan, Village of the Damned, Children of the Corn, Halloween, Sinister)

29. Classic Monsters are just like us: Neurotic, obsessed with death, depressed, kinda gay, sort of hot?

This has got to be The Old Guard. Usually queercoded (and race coded and disability coded) in that “the monstrousness is the incorrect body” kind of way. Sometimes just monstrous though, but we love that. Anyway, Marya Zaleska, bite me pleaaase.

(Frankenstein’s Monster, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Cat People, The Invisible Man, Dracula’s Daughter, The Phantom Of The Opera, Dracula, The Bride Of Frankenstein, The Wolfman)

30. It’s tough work on the lungs being a Final Girl, but someone’s gotta do it. Beats being a dead girl.

Ending on The Trope! My loves, my feral girls, you’ve done nothing wrong, ever, in your whole life!

(Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Happy Death Day, Final Girls, Evil Dead, Hellraiser, Halloween, Alien, The Karate Kid Part Three, etcetcetc...)

[starring-movies]

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Episode Analysis

Episode 8 - The Romance of Certain Old Clothes

Episode 8 is the penultimate episode of The Haunting of Bly Manor. This episode, as well as Episode 5, are some of the absolute standout episodes of the season and in this one we are given the origin story of who The Lady of the Lake was.

We find out that “towards the middle of the 17th century” the current owner of Bly Manor at that time had died, and he left his two daughters as his heirs to the estate. His daughters were Viola and Perdita, and Perdita was five years younger than her sister. It’s an interesting detail that in Latin, ‘perdita’ means ruined, wasted or lost. In accordance with the meaning of her name, Perdita’s life is completely wasted and lost to Viola.

In life - Perdita lost her husband to Viola (Arthur was first interested in her but Viola presented herself as the lady of the manor so that he would marry her instead), she lost most of her life to caring for Viola when she became sick with “the lung” and she literally lost her life to Viola when Viola strangled her.

In death - Perdita gets lost as a ghost when her face and memories all fade.

An amazing detail; is that when Viola and Perdita are mingling with the various suitors, no one in this scene actually opens their mouth when it looks like they’re speaking to another person. Everyone makes the physical gestures towards one another which you make when you speak to someone (like one person leaning in to be heard and the other leaning in to listen), but no one’s mouth actually opens in speech. This small detail, as well as the whole episode being in black and white, helps to immerse us into the fairytale or gothic romance-like tone of the episode.

After Viola marries Arthur, they have a child together. We discover that the origin of the phrase “it is you, it is me, it is us”, which is used to invite a ghost into a person, was first said by Viola to her baby daughter.

It’s not made completely clear, but it’s straight after Viola notices Perdita and Arthur looking at one another that “her suspicion began as small”, but also when “the tickle in her lungs” began. This may just be a coincidence, but if it’s not, then it’s strongly suggested to us that Viola’s illness stemmed from the jealousy and suspicion that planted itself within her - like an almost ‘Dorian Grey-style’ physical manifestation of the jealousy that infected her heart.

When the doctor’s treatments for Viola’s illness don’t work and her condition starts to look more terminal, Arthur calls the vicar to her bedside to preform an absolution rite. Out of sheer stubborn wilfulness Viola refuses to repeat the rites, saying to the vicar for him to “tell your god, that I do not go”. Arthur tries to covnince her to repeat the rites by telling her “it is not about your body any longer, my love. It is your soul we must treat. It is your soul I worry for”. Again it’s not made explicitly clear, but it’s strongly suggested that Viola doesn’t die peacefullly and her soul is imprisoned in the chest of clothes because she didn’t say the rites and so her soul was not properly treated before dying.

As Older Jamie is telling the story, she says that “then five times around the sun, and all is different”, as this was when Viola found Perdita dancing with Arthur and started to treat Perdita awfully. In Episode 9 Older Jamie also says that “five years would pass, and there was peace” for her and Dani, before Viola started to take over Dani’s body. It seems that Viola was given “five times around the sun” before she started to see the connection between Perdita and Arthur growing stronger and when all became different; and so Dani and Jamie were given “five years” of peace before Viola reared her head and made everything different for them.

We also see a similarity being drawn between Viola and Peter. Viola is still hanging onto her life and refusing to die and Perdita says to her that “you should think of her, Vi. Think of Isabel. What will she be left with, what memories of you will she carry? Will it be this? This version of you? Because Viola, with love, let it be anything else”. It’s clear that Viola obviously does love her daughter but at the same time, by refusing to let go, she’s acting somewhat selfishly. Perdita is right when she says that Isabel will not carry any fond memories of her mother, but only a vision of her slowly wasting away in a “living death”. In the same way, Peter does love Rebecca but his decision to drown her was a completely selfish one, only thinking about his own loneliness and what he wanted.

We then see that Viola’s soul has been trapped in the chest which she locked her clothes in. While trapped in the chest she repeats a constant cycle of “sleeping, waking, walking” as she waits to see her daughter who will open the chest when she is of age. However when Perdita is the one who opens Viola’s chest, Viola strangles her as revenge for being killed by her and for her opening the chest that was supposed to be guarded until Isabel could open it. When Viola sees Arthur’s reaction to finding Perdita’s dead body, she doesn’t see “the changes wrought of time” but she sees “only his sadness”. This is heartbreaking for Viola, to see the man who was once her husband lamenting the loss of her sister.

Thinking that Viola’s chest was cursed, Arthur throws it into the lake so that Isabel would not succumb to the same curse that killed Perdita. It is this “absolute abandonment”, this “final insult”, which breaks Viola’s heart completely, and it’s from the anguish she feels and “stubbornness alone” which stops her “being pulled towards some other place, some realm beyond”. This stubbornness that Viola had, and because she ignored the pull from the “realm beyond”, meant that “she instead made her own gravity, gravity of will”.

We find out that The Lady of the Lake’s journey through Bly Manor started when her chest was thrown into the lake. The trip that Viola makes is in the hope that she would one day find her daughter. She walks to her old bedroom in the hope that she will find her daughter but then when she doesn’t find her, she remembers that she died and that her daughter had left her. This remembering would break her heart after every single trip, and so she would sleep to forget what had happened and then would wake back up having forgotten. It is also revealed to us that most of the other ghosts which we see in the manor are people who got in the way of her path, the most tragic of whom was the Doll Face Ghost, who was a little boy that she mistook for her daughter and drowned.

Through this we are also presented the idea of the danger of becoming blindsided by anguish and stubbornness. Viola began her journey through the manor with the purpose of finding her daughter, but then as time went on and she forgot more and more, the journey just started to become a ritual, something repeatedly done mindlessly and with no purpose. Through this repeated ritual, she completely loses the purpose for which she once did this, and as a result takes the life of an innocent boy because she could only remember that she was searching for a child and so she thought that this must be the child whom she sought. Viola allows anger and grief from love to seethe inside her, and eventually it takes over her completely, leaving only that anger in control of the shell of her body.

As well as this, we find out that the reason that all the ghosts have lost their faces is due to a side effect of forgetting. As each of the ghosts gradually forget who they once were, this gets physically shown on their face. It is a visual representation of memories fading as the details slowly get lost and then they are eventually lost completely.

You can read my previous The Haunting of Bly Manor posts here:-

Episode 1 - The Great Good Place

Episode 2 - The Pupil

Episode 3 - The Two Faces, Part One

Episode 4 - The Way It Came

Episode 5 - The Altar of the Dead

Episode 6 - The Jolly Corner

Episode 7 - The Two Faces, Part Two

——————————————————————————

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 6

sHi! How arth thou? I’m back to give you another list of recommendation! 

Beware of the Villainess

Description:

Sit back and take in this romantic tale of an angelic heroine and her devoted suitors as they vie for the depths of her love... or not. This story’s about to go through some edits! After an accident, a modern-day college student awakens as the story’s villainess, Melissa Foddebrat. She’s far from anyone’s favorite, but she IS the daughter of the duke. Determined to live it up, this new Melissa is doing things her way — antiquated society, be damned! All idiots, prepare to step aside or perish!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 4.5/5

- art = 4.5/5

- C O M E D I C  G O L D 

- their meme-able face are so funny lmao

- ml is so cute & soft & deserves everything in the world

- mc is such a bad-ass like?? she’s so cool & she doesnt deserve to be treated less by that stupid prince ok

- she is beauty, she is grace, she is the queen!

- all i do is fangirl over the mc basically

- isekai

- i love her dynamic with her bro cause honestly same that’s how my sibs and are act sometimes lmao

- her maid is so cool 

- a bad-ass with a heart

- ml has this past and secret and i’m living for it

- a gem basically

- overall verdict, a highly recommended manhwa that will make you all sort of emotions. one of the best manhwas released this 2020 ok i said what i said

I Became the Villain's Mother

Description:

Summoned into her favorite novel as the infamous Duchess Roselia Chade, Haena is bathed in riches, power, and a family of her own. Life couldn’t be better, save for the small detail that her beloved stepson, Einspanner Chade, is also the evil mastermind destined to kill her. At this point in the story Ein is still just an adorable child yet to reach his cruel awakening, and so Roselia is determined to stop him from becoming a ruthless killer. But with the duke getting in her way and trying to poison his own son, safely raising a child that was primed for villainy may prove harder than she originally thought. The survival of both mother and child depends on whether Roselia can successfully rewrite their tragic ending!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 ok i’m loving it already despite the few chaps released

- art = 3/5

- IM LOVING THE TWIST

- this is an all out war between father & son ok

- ain is so cute like??

- i s e k a i 

- ain is such a bad ass cute little devil

- i know i know i’m collecting so many isekai-ish manhwas bcoz why not

- i love the mc so much shes so adorable and her previous job is awesome (i know you dont care but i wanted to be a daycare teacher too when i was a kid so yay)  

- she’s such an awesome mom like?? 

- the dad... the dad is idk but he’s a terrible dad for me (right now)

- ^ why is this like a discouragement comment like idek what i’m thinking yet i’m not gonna delete it 

- i love that this is mostly a son-mom manhwa bcoz it’s such a breath of fresh air and not to mention almost all dad-daughters manhwa are hurting me

- i’m here for the mom and son interactions basically

- overall verdict, a highly recommended manhwas for our souls! 

Marked By King Bs

Description:

High school is hard enough without a target on your back, but that’s exactly the situation Annie finds herself in when she crosses a group of the most popular kids in school. Marked by the king bee himself, the notorious Ashton Griffin, Annie becomes his newest fixation--and he is determined to make her life miserable. Now at his beck and call, Annie must stay on Ashton’s good side to maintain her peaceful life and avoid becoming a social pariah. As she navigates her way through alienating social cliques, persistent old crushes, and the hot upstairs neighbor who never puts a shirt on, Annie will soon learn that there’s more to being popular than meets the eye. She just wanted to live a normal life, but maybe there’s no escaping these king bees. An official comic adaptation based on the hit dating-sim game. I AM TARGETED BY THEM!!!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 3/5 

- ngl but i can already feel the slight cliche-ness of this story and yet i’m still here forgive me this is a guilty pleasure manhwa

- art = 4/5

- i love the mc (yes, that quickly)

- dark haired boyo is mine ok??

- kinda funny

- i miss the school life setting so hihihi

- verdict, a cute and good read!

Pixel of Life

Description:

After finding out her boyfriend has been cheating with her boss, Hana loses her menial desk job of 5 years. Countless rejections later, she finally lands an interview at a small art gallery. Hana jumps at the chance to leave the drama of the past few months behind. But her high school friend (and worst enemy) Jiyeon is the gallery owner? Their most peculiar romance is about to begin… or not?!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- o m g

- plot =4/5 this deserves more read tbh

- art = 4/5

- i’m starting to relate to mc since i started working cause #adultingsucks

- one of my dream jobs huhuhu

- i so love the twist 

- the s i b l i n g s

- i wanna know what happens next!!!

- s u s p e n s e 

- mix with mystery and spinkle with secrets and viola i present to you: the pixel of life

- verdict, a super good read!

The Antagonist’s Pet

Description:

Blessed with the face of an angel, young Sasha Tartt knows a life-altering secret: in this romance novel where she’s just a side character, she’s the only one who knows the true ending! When the antagonist of the story takes a particular liking to her, she must make a decision: help the clever and beautiful Rebecca find a happy ending, or side with the sweet-natured protagonist to ensure her own survival? On top of that, Sasha has to juggle the affections of her bespectacled love interest and tame a dragon boy! Can Sasha learn new tricks to win the hearts of these main characters? Based on the hit novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 4/5 so few chaps yet so good

- art = 3/5

- i so love that she acts dumb when she’s not cause i love scheming characters

- W O M E N  E M P O W E R M E N T

- who run the world? girls! 

- i love that she loves the villain cause girl same

- idec whether there’s an ml or not cause we stay for their future bond

- she is beauty, she is grace, she’s the villainess pet

- ^ it sounds better in my head

- verdict, a refreshing manhwa that will leave you wanting for moreee!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Steven Universe - How the show fails to handle emotion, irrationality, and trauma

I have a better understanding of why SU is the way it is now. Why it is very dramatic, and why the characters often act in ways that are entirely out of proportion

When making a critical post about the handling of Flame Princess in Adventure Time, /u/samhadj01 attributed part of the problem to be that Rebecca Sugar was responsible for Flame Princess’s conceptualizing, and wrote her and Finn the same way that she writes SU characters - in a heightened emotional state, where they are feeling the EXTREMES of their emotions at all times, yelling at the top of their voice when angry, crying their eyes out when sad, and hurting each other. The reddit user said this made it difficult for the writers to figure out where to take Flame Princess next.

I challenged this reddit post’s claim that Rebecca writing FP’s first episodes meant that the crew didn’t know what to do with her. There is a lot of oversight in the AT crew, and Rebecca was just one cog in the wheel, even if she was full of ideas that ended up getting used. If she came up with a bad idea it would be the responsibility of her colleagues to put it back on track, and I don’t even think FP’s initial portrayal is the problem - the issue is she was completely marginalized after the fact, and bizarrely rewritten to lose her early immaturity without there being enough progression into that new stage. Following this she was basically written out of the show, with the exception of when she’d be useful to show off another character’s development (Finn, PB, even Cinnamon Bun).  

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I thought Samhadj made a good point about SU.  

Rebecca Sugar always loved writing music into her stories because it was the purest form of expression. You can hear how much love she puts into her music. She wanted to create a show where she could really sell emotions, where she could fill it up with songs that the characters would sing to express themselves and their troubled feelings. She wanted all the characters to be expressive, emotional, angry. She wanted Steven to be a character that helps everyone else learn to deal with their emotions, much like how her brother Steven helped her, as she’s said before. 

The issue is that, in order to facilitate this, she would need to write characters who would BE in these conflicts, feel heightened emotions at all times. 

So Rebecca conceptualized the gem species. 

Even though they take the form of adults, the gems are incredibly stunted. They remain the same for thousands of years. They are not equipped to process emotional trauma, having lived in a society where you have to cover up all your flaws and feelings at the risk of being shattered.  The show follows several Crystal Gems who rebelled against this system, but still haven’t figured out what it means to be free from this systematic oppression. They’re trying to live peacefully, but they’re prisoners still, in their hearts. 

Steven is the catalyst for change that points out the things that upset them, and forces them to deal with their emotions. He acts as emotional support and encourages the crystal gems to grow.  Steven also has much growing up to do himself. He has to confront the truth about what it means to BE a crystal gem, to have inherited the gem of the person who started the revolution, and Steven over time learns how messed up everything is. He is overcome with the desire to fix it, while still learning about himself.  

Why is this sort of storytelling a problem?

For the characters to have heightened emotions all the time, it means they have to keep getting in conflicts that reveal these emotions. It is these conflicts that make the show feel overdramatic and edgy - how characters will lash out and hurt each other, all the time, because they had a bad day, or something reminded them of something that hurt them. 

More urgently, who they are lashing out against. While the Crystal Gems hurting each other in season 1 makes sense, it is when they start taking things out on Steven himself that things become straight up toxic. 

Steven has to bear the brunt of EVERYONE’s problems, AND his own. He chases after Pearl in “Rose’s Scabbard” and nearly falls to his death while she ignores him, he fights with Amethyst when she is insecure about Jasper, he has to deal with Ruby and Sapphire’s fighting. He has to deal with all the townies and their stupid conflicts as well, Lars and Sadie’s fighting, so on. And ON TOP OF ALL THIS, people are trying to kill him all the time!!!!! But he is getting absolutely no meaningful support, and this is obvious, because the show itself acknowledges this later on. 

You start to ask the question, is this even worth doing? The characters around Steven display incredible immaturity, and after a certain point, they stop feeling like heroes.  They feel like leeches who are taking advantage of a young boy. 

Things get RIDICULOUS in the final season. Even after the episodes where Amethyst acknowledged the shitty status quo of everyone leaning on him, Steven then has to deal with the emotional problems of the Diamonds themselves, who it turns out lashed out the entire GALAXY because they didn’t know how to talk about their feelings?! For millions of years?!?! To be turned around by one teenage boy, even after a revolution where many of their gems expressed why they were wrong???!!!  

I think it was these final episodes of Steven Universe that completely shattered any remaining suspension of disbelief about the diamonds.

I’m no alien to ancient, immortal characters in charge of millions demonstrating incredible immaturity. Look at Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Marceline would lean closer to the Amethyst side of the spectrum where she lashes out against everyone, while PB would be on the Pearl or Diamonds side where she’d pretend to act all rational and coolheaded and then do something insanely bad like crash a wedding or manipulate children. Pretty yikes, even up to the finale.  However, the difference is that AT is a more lighthearted wacky show where immaturity can slide for jokes, and most of the issues these characters have are inward facing. They identify and work on their problems themselves, with some support but not much interference from outside. They also do NOT act crazy all the damn time, and have plenty of moments before, during, and after their development where they are fully supportive friends. I enjoyed learning more about these characters and their pasts, because the immaturity never broke my suspension of disbelief.

The DIAMONDS, on the other hand, never get any sort of character development. I was excited to learn more about their creation, and how they came to be these insanely powerful beings that controlled a fascist society where emotion is not allowed. Why is it this way? Why do they want to keep it like this?

We never find out. We just see Steven embarrassing White Diamond after she attempts to murder him, and then she immediately goes full 180 redemption. It makes no damn sense! 

Steven Universe Future attempts to address the issues with everyone Steven knows being emotionally dependent on him, but Future forgoes genuine themes about healing in favour of its edgy focus on how Steven has become “damaged”. 

I was shocked watching SU Future’s first few episodes. I was astounded that the show would deconstruct itself so thoroughly, and have Steven address the exact things that were on MY mind. He realised that he’d been used.

How ballsy is that for the show to have the protagonist literally tear it to pieces in the final few episodes? 

However, any hopes for Steven directly addressing these issues, communicating with his friends and HEALING were dashed about half way through, when he only kept escalating.  Steven got so outraged that he shattered Jasper, and attempted to kill White Diamond while also injuring himself. He started to see himself as a monster. He becomes a murderer. He turns into a kaiju at the end since that’s how his perception of himself is different.

I was really disappointed that the show had wasted its entire runtime to build this up. 

The emotion that Rebecca Sugar was trying to capture was Steven’s pain, anger, the disconnect he had with his friends.

Future did not spend ANY time in demonstrating that Steven’s friends were acknowledging his pain. In fact, quite the opposite - they kept dismissing all of his feelings about Ruby and Aquamarine, and Greg was revealed as The Literal Worst when he thought his perfectly normal conservative upbringing was way worse than Steven literally getting tortured by aliens every other day and having no friends or education.  When Steven has his breakdown, they all cROWD him and start yelling at him. They have absolutely no regard for Steven’s boundaries at all. It’s almost like Steven’s friends are P-zombies at this stage. 

I did not like how Steven was portrayed as a dangerous, out-of-control killer. It’s not just that he SAW himself as this - it’s literally what he was.  You can do bad things because of your trauma, but it won’t turn you into a monster. If you act like a monster, that is your responsibility. 

And then the series ends with the hug, but we do not see Steven’s actual healing process or reconnecting with his friends. We only get a brief goodbye episode. 

After watching Obsidian, I cannot help but compare these scenarios. Obsidian was about Marceline healing from her emotional trauma. It was still very much a part of her, but she was learning to recognise when it was damaging her life, and communicate with others about it. It’s about learning to accept your cracks.

If SU Future had been about dealing with trauma properly and healing, it could have been the best series on Cartoon Network, and fully redeemed the weaknesses of the original show. 

However, Rebecca and the SU crew decided to focus too much on Steven’s pain, and Future ended up exacerbating the issues of the show. 

[toomanyrobins]

October

Summary: Clint Barton, college football star, has a new interest: Y/N Y/L/N. But with her father gone all of the time, a younger brother, and going to college, Y/N has no time for dating. Will Clint get the yes, or will life get in the way?

Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader

Content warning: nothing really yet, occasional cursing, mentions of drinking and sex later

Word Count: 1.9k

Y/N Y/L/N was sitting outside in the quad with her best friend and roommate, Nat, between classes when her phone rang. She dug it out of her bag and answered. Her brother’s school was calling to tell her that Asher was sick. Y/N cursed, she knew the stomach bug was going around and it was going to be a crappy next few days. She asked Nat to send her the notes for the lectures before rushing to her car. In the parking lot, she was digging around trying to find her keys in her purse. She heard her name called and saw Clint Barton and his friends standing around by their cars. He jogged up to her and she could see over his shoulder that they were all watching them. “Where you going?”

Y/N was confused why Clint was talking to her. She rolled her eyes internally at the invasive question. The football team was notorious at their college and she didn’t have time to be one of their flavors of the month. “Places.”

He leaned against the car door, “Are purposefully secretive or does it come naturally?”

“Oh, I’m all natural, Barton,” Y/N jerked on the door handle, knocking him off balance. “Now I have to go. My brother is sick and I have to pick her up.”

“But it’s the middle of the day. Don’t you have class?”

She took a deep breath to keep herself calm. It wasn’t Clint’s fault she felt this way, she was just stressed about Asher, “Look I’m sorry. I wish I had the time to make idle conversation while you decide whether I'm worth sleeping with. But, I don’t. I have a sick kid to get to.” Y/N threw her stuff in the car and peeled out of the school.

Clint walked back over to his friends who had watched the exchange take place. “She looks like your number one fan,” Sam said, laughing at him.

“Oh fuck off. She’s just busy.”

“Looked like she couldn’t wait to get away from you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the three days since she’d got the call, Y/N’s life had been sniffles, cuddles, and soup. Just as she had predicted, a sickly five year old was exhausting for any parent, but for a 20-year-old it was beyond overwhelming. Y/N had just planted him in front of the TV when she heard a knock at the door. She swung it open and was greeted by a familiar face, “Mrs. Barnes! What are you doing here?”

“I’ve told you before, call me Winnie!” She held up a dish, “Anyway, I heard about Asher and thought I’d bring dinner by. This stomach bug has been going around and Rebecca had it last week.”

“Oh, that’s so nice of you. It’s been a hectic three days.”

“Have you called your father, dear?”

Y/N nodded, “I left a message with his assistant, but by the time he got back here they’d be on the mend. I’m almost certain I’ll send them back to school tomorrow.”

“Well, I have to get going anyway and pick up Becca. I’ll see you at the Halloween parade next week?” Y/N nodded and closed the door.

Winnie Barnes was her savior. A single mother who had taken pity on Y/N over a year ago. Three years ago, after another nanny had quit, Y/N had started taking care of her two younger siblings. Her father was rarely home and the women he had impregnated had no interest in raising children. This combination led to a 17-year-old raising a three and four year old all on her own. Last year, Winnie had befriended Y/N and since then she tried her best to offer support. Y/N refused to talk about her father’s absence, but they both knew her father was rarely home. Thankfully, Winnie’s magic had worked again and the next day, both kids were feeling much better and life could return to normal.

Y/N was sitting outside of a coffee shop on campus, the autumn sun warming her. She was transcribing all of the notes she had missed last week, when the chair opposite her became occupied by Clint Barton. He smiled at her, “There’s a party tonight. You should come.”

Y/N barely spared him a glance, keeping her eyes on the paper, “Thanks, but I can’t. I have plans.”

“Plans? What kind of plans?”

She weighed her options and decided that there was only one way to get him to leave her alone, “A date.”

“You have a date?”

Y/N sighed and shut her notebook. “Don’t sound so surprised, Barton, or I’ll think I should be insulted.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. You just don’t seem like the type to casually date is all.” Y/N sighed and closed her notebook. She crossed her arms and just stared at him. “Is there something on my face.”

“No, I’m just trying to figure out what it is about you. You’re so annoying and yet, I don’t have the urge to throw my coffee in your lap.”

“Let’s call that my charm,” the boyish grin that he gave her made her laugh. “Now, why did you reject me last week? I'm obviously not repulsive to you.”

“Reject you? What was there to reject? I don’t remember anything being asked.”

Clint glared playfully at her, “Don’t play stupid, it doesn’t work for you. You know what I was trying to do.”

“Look, Clint, you’re right. I did know what you were trying to do. You’re cute, but I have two young siblings and I’m the only parent they know of.”

“You think I’m cute?”

Y/N laughed, “Of course, that’s what you get out of it.”

Clint smiled at her again, “I hear you, though. I’ll back off, but just know I’m not giving up.” He pushed his chair back and started to walk away, but turned back around, “By the way, you didn’t actually say no.”

----------------------------------------------------------

Clint was in the kitchen with Bucky talking about the party that night. Becca, Bucky’s younger sister, came running into the room, “You can’t go to a party! My Halloween Parade is tonight! You guys promised you would come!”

He crouched down, “How about we go to your show and then the party after. Deal?” He held out his pinky. Becca surveyed him for a second and then held out her finger in agreement. That night, when they got to the school, Winnie was immediately pulled in by friends. Parents chatted away, occasionally asking him and Bucky how their second year of college was going and how working at Stark Industries was. He noticed the woman next to him kept looking around and leaned over, “What are you looking for Mama Win?”

“This lovely girl, Y/N.” Clint perked up at the name, “She’s around your age and usually is at these things. I saw her younger brother, but not her. Oh wait, there she is!” Winnie waved over to the teenager.

Y/N smiled and greeted her, “Sorry, I’m late. The joys of costume emergencies and five-year-olds. It’s a lethal combination.”

Winnie waved away her apologies, “Is your father here?” Y/N was quick to make excuses for her father. She had been doing it for years. The older woman nodded sympathetically, “Oh, well that’s too bad.”

“Yes, he was very disappointed to miss this.” Clint could tell that she was hiding something, but before anything also could be said, they were interrupted by a young boy running up.

“Y/N! Y/N! Carter spilled juice on my dress!”

His classmate plastered a smile on her face, even though Winnie and Clint knew that she was overwhelmed by the chaos, “It’ll be okay. I’ve got a change of clothes for you in my car.”

“Why don’t I take him to the bathroom and get him cleaned up while you run and grab the clothes,” Winnie offered.

Y/N looked relieved, “That would be great. Thank you,” she quickly started to leave the gym.

Clint jogged after her, “I thought you said you had a date tonight.”

“I do. At Pizza Charlie’s. It’s a tradition to take the kids after school events. Plus with trick-or-treating tomorrow, I just don’t have time for frat parties or hangovers.” They stopped in front of the car and Clint looked into the trunk. He saw that her car was made for kids. She had changes of clothes, toys, and snacks.

“This is your car?”

“Yeah,” Y/N was confused, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it just looks like Winnie’s. You weren’t kidding when you told me that stuff earlier.”

“My dad’s pretty busy. So I spend a lot of time with my brother. You learn to be prepared. On another note, what are you doing at a kindergarten spring concert?”

Clint rubbed his neck and blushed, “Winnie’s like a mom to me and Becca is like a little sister. A very persuasive sister who has made it clear to Bucky and I that we are needed at every school event.”

Y/N laughed, “Oh yes, I am very familiar with the persuasiveness of five-year-olds. There is a reason we keep going to Pizza Charlie’s and it is not because I think the food is good.” The duo headed back inside and Y/N headed off to the bathroom, while Clint went back to Bucky.

“Dude, I can not wait to get out of here. People are sending videos of the party set-up and it looks awesome.”

“Yeah, I’m actually thinking of bailing tonight. Practice killed me.”

Bucky stared at the blonde. His blue eyes were like lazors, searching for the truth, “You’re going to Pizza Charlie’s with that Y/N girl aren’t you.”

Clint was so confused, “What the hell, man?”

“I’m psychic,” Bucky laughed at his friend’s face, “No, I’m messing with you. Mom told me she and Becca are going with them after. Figured you had hopped on in hopes of more time with Y/N.”

“You are a truly terrifying person sometimes.”

Winnie and Y/N came back with her sister and sat down with Bucky and Clint. After the concert had ended, Asher sat down on Y/N’s lap while everyone spoke. He looked up at Clint, “Are you Y/N’s boyfriend?”

Y/N choked on the candy she was eating as Bucky roared in laughter, “Ash, what the fuck?”

The little boy pointed at his sister, “That’s a dollar in the jar. And what, he kept staring at you!”

“You can’t just ask people that without some warning.”

“Okay, how do I warn them?”

Y/N was stammering for an answer and Clint decided to help her, “I’m not your sister’s boyfriend. I go to school with her.”

“Do you want to be her boyfriend?”

“Asher Y/L/N, what has gotten into you? Enough.”

The boy was pouting, “I heard Aunt Nat telling you that you needed a boyfriend and that you need to lie down or something. I don't know what laying down has to do with the boyfriend thing, but I thought I’d ask.

The situation was like something out of Y/N’s nightmares. Bucky was in tears from laughing, Clint was trying his best not to laugh, Winnie was trying to get Bucky under control and Y/N just stared at the ceiling, willing the universe to give her strength. Finally, she turned to Asher, “I will give you $5 to end this conversation and never bring it up again.”

“Deal!” Y/N slapped the bill into her brother’s hand and rubbed her temples.

[whyqueerbaitingisbad]

movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding  kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r  h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character. 

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002) 

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH. 

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018) 

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

[1787americanrevnerd]

The Avengers (Student Body Government for S.H.I.E.L.D High School) Post: 1 of ?

Book Summary:

A High School AU that I hope isn't cliche, I tried to make it my own and it's also not focusing on any ships it focuses on them as a whole. When Nick Fury decides that he needs a Student government he chooses people that could never work together, for the student government he recruits Tony Stark (a bad boy/nerd) Steve Rogers (The skinny kid always trying to pick a fight with people) Natasha Romanov (a Russian transfer student) Clint Barton (no one really knows what he's doing there) Bruce Banner (the lovable nerd) Thor (a nice jock) Sam Wilson ( a pilot in training and actually has student body government experience) Bucky Barnes (the athlete who's always getting Steve out of trouble and never talks about his past) Pepper Potts (she's really just there to make sure nobody adds or subtracts from the population) and their siblings can only watch it all go to shit and then something greater coming out of it.

Chapter 1: Issues

Everyone has their... stuff, whether it be physical or emotional everyone has it. Most people find their people or groups in high school, but some don't fit into the system. Tony was smart but too cool to be in the nerdy group, Steve actually didn't really fit in anywhere, Natasha was a cheerleader and a transfer student that hated most people, Clint wasn't a jock but he didn't belong in any other category, Bruce was nerdy and geeky but had too many anger issues to really hang out with the other geeks and nerds, Thor was an amazing Football player but far to nice to be friends with the other jocks, Sam was a Track and Feild runner but had different dreams than the rest of them, Bucky was an athlete who spent most of his time protecting Steve to belong to any group, and Pepper was a future businesswoman who was too uptight by everyone else's standards. Some of them became friends with each other but it's not the same as having a whole group behind your back.

Tony Stark hated his father, it was the first thing you should know about him. Tony spent most of his time in his garage trying to make a robot suit which he called Iron Man and his friend Bruce called, "A Flying Death Trap" it was a slow process. Tony was a smart kid he was in all the AP classes, however, he was a ladies' man which meant that he didn't really get bullied. If he wasn't in the garage he would be nearby the coffee shop that his other friend Rhodey worked at. Tony was living his best life in general, except for the fact that he had only two real friends.

Steve Rogers was a skinny kid with a boatload of health issues, but that didn't stop him from trying to beat anyone to a pulp who did something wrong. His friend always pulled him out of the fights though saying that, "Your Mom would kill me if you got injured on my watch." Which Steve thought was unfair, why did his Mom and his best friend have an agreement of making sure he didn't get hurt? He wanted to be part of the football team but he was too skinny and had asthma. Steve wanted to play sports with his friends, unfortunately, that wouldn't happen, the worst part of his day was the hour he was alone because his friends were at track practice.

Natasha was a Russian transfer student, she was told to gain American government secrets Clint told her that this was frowned upon. She brought her sister with her and they were living at the Barnes house, she liked it there it was peaceful. She was a cheerleader, she only joined to make fun of the other girls. She tried to act like a stupid pretty girl, that way no one would pay much attention to her however that backfired quickly. Almost every boy wanted to date her, she didn't mind the attention people gave her now. The only thing she didn't like was the fact that people now had misconceptions of her personality.

Clint is a champion archer in the region and is currently trying to be part of the national archery competition. However he didn't really know what to do with his life, they don't exactly give out scholarships for archery. He spent most of his time in "little secret rooms" he found in the school. Clint also didn't have many friends, Natasha had her own stuff and he got the vibe someone like her wouldn't want to hang out with him. His grades weren't the best in the world which made him even more worried about the future and school. He didn't know what to do he thought that archery is the only thing he's good at.

Bruce was a nerdy geek with anger issues, which made it hard to hang out with people. He only had Tony, and Tony didn't always stay right next to Bruce. Bruce was bullied a lot, which didn't help in making friends. He was at the bottom of the social chain, at least he could get into a good school and have a bright future. Bruce tried to be a pacifist however he had really bad anger issues and everything stressed him out, he called the angry part of himself The Hulk. He didn't have bipolar depression, he just got angry easily simple as that.

Thor was a football player and very popular, however, he wasn't mean. Most people saw him as the jock, but that wasn't who he was, not deep down. He had a lot on his place, he would be getting the family business passed down to him because his "nutcase older sister was on thin fucking ice" his father's words not Thor's. He took care of his younger brother at most times, but they've hit a snag in their relationship. Thor didn't have many friends against contrary belief, sure he had people wanting to be his friend but they didn't want to know the real Thor.

Sam was trying to get his pilot's license which was a lot of work and took up most of his time. He was also on the track team which almost took up the rest of his free time. He did have time to talk with Steve and Bucky though. Sam was somewhere on the middle of the social food chain, he wasn't bullied or unpopular but he wasn't the most popular kid in the school. He had secrets though like everyone, one's he couldn't tell his friends knew about them but never asked. He and Bucky had a rivalry neither of them really knew why, Sarah and Rebecca say that they're competing for the best friend role. At least he had people, even if he didn't really like one of them.

Bucky was an athlete and only had one arm, well most of the time. He had a prosthetic but only wore it for baseball and if he had to wear it for the track. He had lost it when he was young, a freak accident and they couldn't save the arm. He had a big family so they were a big help with helping him. He had four sisters Rebecca, Lizzy, Martha, and Linda which was difficult at times but they were good to have around to tell you not to make stupid decisions.

Principle Fury wanted to have a student government, but he didn't want to be stuck with assholes running it. He had to decide who would be in it, and he already had an idea. They might not like each other but this would be a good bonding experience and it would help Fury out a lot. He sent Hill to go and gather them up, and put them in the office he found himself sitting in. This is not going to work, a part of him thought. He couldn't help but feel that he just made a grave mistake, like he interrupted the order of things, in retrospect he probably did.

No one was happy about the fact that they all had to work together. People thought that Stark wasn't serious enough, they said that Rogers would get into too many fights, some people had problems with jocks being in the same room as them. Others really didn't know what they were doing there, one of those people was Pepper Potts. Pepper Potts had an inconsequential life she wanted to be a CEO, but like that would ever happen. Fury told her to make sure that nothing happened to the other kids, make sure they have ground rules. So that was her job, to be the babysitter. This is going to be an interesting year for all of them.

Notes: This chapter was majorly inspired by The Breakfast Club. Did any of you catch that?

Part 2