#Also I hope Eddie goes through the same without buck by his side all the time esp given what happened with the lawsuit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

buddienights · 3 years ago

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Part thirteen (final) of TA grindr au

Sometime in the night — they forget to get up for dinner, more content to just stay curled up together — they change positions. Buck wakes up with his face buried in the back of Eddie’s neck, his arm around Eddie’s waist, and Eddie’s naked back plastered to his equally bare chest.

The first thing he sees is the hickey he’d so diligently put just below Eddie’s ear and it’s livid in the light of morning.

“Sorry about that,” Buck whispers, brushing his lips against it softly.

Still mostly asleep, Eddie makes a fussy, confused noise that’s so damn cute Buck’s pretty sure his heart swells.

And then his stomach rumbles, ravenous.

“I’m gonna go make breakfast,” he tells Eddie, and tries to sit up.

Eddie makes the confused, now grumpy, noise again and laces his fingers through Buck’s to try and pin him in place.

“Food,” Buck says, pressing a quick kiss to Eddie’s shoulder. “Coffee, even.”

Eddie grumbles, but lets go of Buck’s hand. Buck kisses his shoulder again and then climbs out of bed. He finds Eddie’s delectable henley from the day before on the floor, and considers trying to pull on his own jeans, but there’s a comfortable looking pair of sweats on top of the dresser. As he passes by the side of the bed to the door, Eddie reaches out to grab at him, all without opening his eyes.

Buck allows himself to be caught and reeled in, at least for a moment.

“Kiss,” Eddie mumbles, face half hidden by the pillow and fuck, if this is what non-one-night-stands are like, Buck may become addicted.

He leans in to kiss the only part of Eddie’s mouth he can access and is stupidly endeared when the lack of full and proper kiss makes a frown and a pout appear on Eddie’s face.

Buck leaves him there and heads for the kitchen. It’s tidy, and intuitively organised, even though Buck also encounters a drawer of well-worn takeout menus. Like Eddie has aspirations of cooking if not extensive practice.

He finds eggs, and he finds potatoes, and he finds some cheese, and he finds the coffee maker and gets a pot going.

He’s in the middle of cracking eggs into the other half of the frying pan from the potatoes when two things happen. First, Eddie shuffles out of the bedroom and into the kitchen with him. He’s found a pair of sweats, but forgone a shirt and Buck wants to drool over his abs again, but gets distracted by the hickeys all over his chest and neck and stomach, all in the convenient shape of Buck’s mouth.

The second thing is, a key turns in the lock and the apartment door opens to let in a middle aged woman and the most adorable almost-five-year-old boy Buck’s ever seen.

“Daddy!” the kid — obviously Christopher — says, crossing the living room and reaching his arms up for Eddie to collect him.

“Hey, buddy!” Eddie says, clearly wide awake now.

“Eddie,” the woman says, arching an eyebrow and Buck hopes to god this is not how he’s gonna meet Eddie’s mother.

He’s never met anyone’s mother before.

“Tía,” Eddie replies, eyes wide and holding Christopher against his chest like a shield.

“Daddy, what’s on your neck?” Christopher asks, poking the hickey on Eddie’s neck.

“And who’s this man making you breakfast?” Eddie’s aunt asks.

“Uh, I’m — I’m—” Buck starts.

“This is Buck,” Eddie says at the same time. “My — um—”

“His—”

“We’re—”

“It’s—”

“We—”

“Mmhm,” Eddie’s aunt says.

“Uh, anyway, Buck, this is my aunt Pepa, who didn’t say she was coming by,” Eddie says.

“I stopped by my mother’s and had to come this way and thought it would be useful to bring Christopher home,” Pepa says. She eyes Buck, evaluating.

Before she can ask anything else, Christopher looks over Eddie’s shoulder at Buck curiously. “What are you making?”

“I’m, ah, hashbrowns and eggs,” Buck says. “Do you like those?”

“I don’t know,” Christopher says.

Eddie laughs, softly, and kisses the side of his head. “Yeah, you do, buddy. You love hashbrowns, remember?”

Christopher nods and goes happily enough when Eddie settles him into a booster seat at the kitchen table.

“I’m gonna…” Eddie says, gesturing vaguely between the door to his room and his bare chest, and then booking it.

Left alone, Buck tries to keep the breakfast from burning while Pepa eyes him.

“What is it you do, Buck?” she asks.

“Uh, I got kind of a late start on the whole school thing so I’m finishing my degree,” he says. “I’m gonna be an early elementary school teacher.”

“I’m going to be in early elementary school,” Christopher tells him.

Buck smiles. “Yeah, I know, I’ve kinda been helping your dad find a good kindergarten for you.”

Pepa’s demeanour towards him softens away from archly amused to genuine interest. “Have you?”

“Yep, he has,” Eddie says, sliding back into the main room fully clothed and steering Pepa toward the door. “Thank you so much for bringing Christopher home, love you, okay, bye.”

He kisses her on the cheek and steers her out of the apartment all in one smooth move that looks long-practiced. Buck catches a snippet of Pepa laughing as she goes.

Eddie rests his forehead against the closed door for a second and then joins Buck and Chris in the kitchen.

“We’re gonna have to come up with some kind of label before you meet my abuela,” Eddie says to Buck, resting a hand on his lower back as he reaches past him for the coffee pot. His thumb makes a quick circle around the muscle there that sends shivers up Buck’s back all the way to his scalp.

“I’m gonna meet your grandma?” Buck asks, and wonders if the intense hope is as obvious to Eddie as it is to him.

“I’d like you too,” Eddie says. “I’d like you to stay.”

“I’d like that too,” Buck says.

Eddie smiles at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and Buck smiles back.

“Are the hashbrowns ready?” Christopher asks.

It breaks the moment between Buck and Eddie, but it isn’t the irreparable kind of breakage. It feels more like breaking the seal on something that’s been private and turning it into something else. Something extremely real with Eddie’s small son involved.

“They sure smell good,” Eddie says. He pours himself a cup of coffee and kisses Buck on the cheek before joining Christopher at the table. “Hey, buddy, Buck’s gonna be coming around a lot, okay?”

Christopher considers, especially as Buck plates up the breakfast and sets it down on the table.

“Do you like Legos?” Christopher asks.

“I love Legos,” Buck says.

“Then okay,” Christopher says.

“Okay,” Eddie echoes, smiling at Buck.

Buck grins back. “Okay.”

~*~*~*~*~

Firehose91: I just feel like

SunnyD: like…

Firehose91: sorry, distracted

SunnyD: oh? By what?

Firehose91: my boyfriend looks really really hot when he grades papers. He’s got these reading glasses which I had no idea was a thing for me but like

Firehose91: holy fuck

SunnyD: oh you’ve got a boyfriend? Pity

SunnyD: anyway you were saying? You feel like…

Firehose91: oh I feel like before we both delete this app for good, idk, I feel like I should send you a dick pic or something

SunnyD: 🍆

Firehose91: and I don’t know maybe you’d be willing to send me an incredibly gratuitous pic of your ass? Just for the fond memories

SunnyD: 🍑

Firehose91: you just playing emoji translation for me

SunnyD: I’m grading papers and you’re sitting in the middle of my living room. What do you want me to do? Stand up and drop trou?

Firehose91: I mean

Firehose91: yeah

Firehose91: always

SunnyD: Buck

Firehose91: wow that’s amazing I could actually hear your tired sigh. The wonders of technology

Firehose91: oh hey I guess I gotta go

Firehose91: oh my boyfriends even pulled off his glasses

Firehose91: oh and his shirt I think I’m gonna get luck

[deleting this app will also delete all its data. Are you sure you wish to proceed?]

[yes]

[this app has been deleted]

#ta grindr au #buddienights writes #buddie fic #buddie #911fic

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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

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More Days, Fewer Words

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader

Category: angst

Word Count: 4.2k

Author’s Note: based on my failed talking stage so this was self indulgent :) also thank you to @hotchsdarling for her help :) <3

-----

Cold.

The word that describes the current state of your relationship with Eddie. He sat across from you in your bedroom, his shoulders hung as he slouched in the chair. Your foot tapping against the floor was the only continuous noise echoing through the room, ever so often Eddie glanced at you before directing his attention back to your tapping foot.

Today was supposed to be a nice day, sunny and hot in El Paso, as were most days but not today. Today was gloomy, grey and raining. The wind that blew through the cracked window was cold -cold enough to cause goosebumps. The words that were spoken lingered in the room although nothing was being said.

“I think I should go” he pipes up, his voice quiet and soft, as if he spoke louder he would break you more than he already had.

“Okay” a whisper left your throat, barely.

Eddie pushed himself up out of the chair and headed towards your door. He stepped out, looking back at you now laying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“I-”

Silence.

He sighed, shutting the door. His steps quieter as each went. His voice back to normal as he said goodnight to your parents. The tear rolled down your face, the back of your hand wiping it away when you stand. Eddie stood out in the rain in front of your house, you watched as he looked at your bedroom window. He stood there for a moment and you opened the window. He waited - waited for you to shout for him to come back into the house, for you to do something, anything.

You didn’t.

Shoulder slumped and now rain soaked, he turned and walked the other way.

How did you end up here? Never did you expect him to leave. He was always the constant in your life, there through the good and the bad, as you were for him but something changed. People change and people drift apart. Some things things were just meant to happen the way they happened.

----

Last you heard, Eddie had moved after his wife left. You had seen him at the store and he saw you too. An awkward moment of eye contact was had and you both went your separate ways. His mother was the one that had told you about his move, she kept up with you even after the falling out. She always stopped and spoke to you if she saw you, still sent you flowers for your birthday until this day. She had really started telling you that Shannon had left to take care of her mother, but of course, Eddie was an angel in their eyes so Shannon was left to take all the blame.

Not that you knew Shannon personally nor did you know the ins and outs of her relationship with Eddie but you had heard enough from friends to know that things weren't good. She had commitments, one to take care of her mother and of course, she had one to take care of sweet Christoper but you could understand why she left. It’s hard raising a child when your partner is gone and when he returns, he’s just there with no sense of what’s happening. You would never blame Eddie but you couldn’t exactly blame Shannon either.

So as anyone would, you went to see Eddie’s mom before you left for LA. there was nothing left for you in El Paso, most of your family had moved. You didn’t want to stay there by yourself with all the memories of your past.

It was time for a fresh start.

Imagine your surprise when Mrs. Diaz goes “that’s where Eddie is too!” She had known the two of you stopped talking but she didn’t know why. Neither of you spoke about your feelings and that was part of the reason why the friendship ended to begin with. She told you he had become a firefighter when he moved, he had just gotten a job at station 118.

Something you loved about her, she always told you what you wanted to hear without asking.

She wished you good luck and promised to visit you when she and Ramon came out to see Eddie and with that, you were off.

The entire time, your mind wandered back to Eddie. Surely, he had moved on. He did with Shannon, you couldn’t have given him what he wanted. Stability, a marriage sometime in the near future, a child after that, all things you weren't ready for at that point in your life. Truthfully, you still weren't sure if you were ready now, but maybe and only maybe, would you consider it for the right person.

LA was new and fresh, a clean stale for you to try things and meet people. Right now you were just focused on getting settled in with the new place and the new job. Lauren, the woman whose desk was next to yours asked you to join her and some of the others for drinks after work to celebrate the account the team had gotten earlier. Being new to town and all, you had no other plans so you agreed.

9:30 on a Tuesday night and you were at a bar not far from your workplace.

Lauren and Matt, who you now realized was her boyfriend, were telling everyone about this new fancy restaurant they went to for their anniversary. You smiled and nodded, but truly you were zoned out. Eyes wandered through the bar, from groups much like yours, to couples, some men and women sat at the counter and then a group of people by the pool table. You watched as a shorter man with black hair hit the ball into the pocket, another man, this one blonde and tall, patted his back and then took his turn. Your focus was on them until Lauren called your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“What do you think about that ?”

“About what ? Sorry, I missed what you said” smiling apologetically at her.

“The restaurant, isn't that crazy ?”

“Yeah it totally is” Lauren hums at your response and carries on with her conversation. Gaze drifting back to the pool table at the other end of the bar, you excuse yourself from the group for a moment. You watch the blonde man miss yet another shot as you walk towards the bathroom. Not that you needed to go, you just wanted to have a better view of the game. Your back was up against the wall, the man with the black hair hit another ball into the pocket and surprise surprise, the blonde man missed again.

“He's totally kicking your ass” stepping forward, your hands resting on the edge of the table. The blonde man looked offended while his friend laughed.

“I am, aren't I ?” he asked you, smiling in amusement.

You nodded, he introduced himself. “I’m Howard, but you can call me Chimney. My friend here is Buck.”

“Chimney ?” your brows raise, he shakes his head, “long story.”

“You are ?” Buck asks, “y/n” you smile.

“Okay, y/n. Think you can do better than me?” he asks, holding the stick out for you. Smiling, you take it, “definitely can do better than that” as you lean over the table, Buck steps to the side and watches as you line the shot up. One hit and the ball rolls into the pocket.

“Yeah, she’s got you beat Buckaroo” Chimney laughs, “Buckaroo ? How cute” you smile, Buck rolls his eyes.

“Don’t listen to him” he says, nodding to Chimney. “Your go man”

Buck lets you take his turn for him, Chimney missed the first one but gets the second one in. Just as you lean to line the stick with the ball, you hear him. His voice still brings chills to your spine. He hadn’t noticed you yet, you can hear him talking to Buck, you glance up ever so slightly to make sure you heard right.

What are the odds that the two of you lived in the same place your entire lives and never run into each other but not even 2 weeks into your move to LA and you see him?

Pushing the feeling and thoughts of Eddie from your mind, which wasn't the easiest considering he's right in front of you, you hit the ball and it rolls into the pocket.

“Good shot y/n!” Buck calls from his chair. You wince, hoping Eddie wouldn't look back but he did. The two of you looking at each other like you were the only people in the room. All the feelings from that day returned, the heavy tension weighing you down. Eddie’s reaction made you want to run, far and to never return, to somewhere you’d never see him. Yet, you were stuck, froze and fixated on him.

“I think I should go.” you hand the stick to Chimney who’s now exchanging confused glances with Buck. “It was nice to meet you guys. Enjoy your game.” you smile at the two men, one last glance at Eddie before walking away. You say goodnight to your friends from work and apologize for just disappearing on them. Lauren and Matt offer to give you a ride as you came with them but you decided you’d walk.

----

Eddie follows his morning routine per usual. Up at 7, wake Chris up, breakfast, shower and get ready, out the door by 8:15 the latest, drop Chris off at school for 8:30 and at work by 9.

As soon as his bag hits the floor, Buck comes running in, Chim hot on his tail. “Good morning” Buck smiles at his best friend, taking a seat on the bench across from Eddie’s locker. “Morning Eddie, how’d you sleep ?” Chim asks, Eddie turns and looks at Chimney, “how did I what ?” Eddie’s face twisted into his typical scowl.

“Sleep, how did you sleep ? Friends ask that don't they Buck ?” Chim faces Buck, his back against the wall across from the lockers. Buck nods but Eddie ignores them, he goes back to changing for work. The room is quiet except for Eddie’s tumbling through his bag and locker and Chimney throwing a tennis ball at the wall across from him and catching it. Buck being Buck, decided to ask the question they had actually gone in there to ask.

“So why did our new friend just up and leave after you showed up?”

Eddie didn't answer, Chimney kept bouncing the ball and Buck asked the same question over and over again in different variations, hoping to get an answer. Finally Eddie turns to face them, the locker door slamming shut. Buck and Chimney’s heads perking up at the sound.

“What do you want to know ?” Eddie asks, Buck opens his mouth but Eddie cuts him off. “You can only ask one question each. That's it” the two men nod, Chim joining Buck on the bench. “Do you guys know each other from your past life or something ?” Buck asks the first question.

“She was an old friend.” Eddie’s simple answer didn’t satisfy the curiosity that Buck and Chimney had.

“What happened between you two ?” Chimney used his question, earning him a sigh from Eddie.

A loss for words wasn't a common thing for Eddie, sure he didn’t confront every problem verbally, that was usually the last option he chose but he looked for the simplest terms to put what happened.

“We drifted apart”

“Oh c’mon! There has to be more!” Buck looks up at his friend who was in no mood for questions, the look on his face was enough to get Buck to stop but did he ? Of course not.

“Eddie, come on. It's us. You can tell us what happened”

“What I say here, ends here. Understand ?” his friends nod. Eddie sits on the bench beside them.

“We were friends back in El Paso. Grew up together our whole lives, everyone thought that we'd get married,” he chuckled at the thought, “but obviously, didn’t happen. It was right after we had graduated, we had feelings for each other but neither of us said anythi- well that’s not true. We admitted that we had feelings once but nothing ever happened. She went off to college and I was still figuring out my life. After I told her I enlisted, we drifted. Hung out less, the calls became shorter and eventually they stopped. The only time we saw each other was if one of us showed up at the other’s place. I told her that I couldn’t have a relationship like this, with nothing happening. I wanted a life together, to get married, to have a kid and she said she didn’t want that, she ‘couldn't give that to me.’ We stopped talking after that. I left and when I came back, I met Shannon, we got married and had Chris.”

“So that’s that. Anyone want a smoothie ?” He stands and waits for an answer, both men shake their heads and he walks out like he hadn’t just told them all of that. Buck and Chim sat there, staring at Eddie walking away. He had this great romance and it ended because they had shitty communication skills ? There was no way Buck and Chim would let this slide, they’d hatch a plan but one that Eddie would know nothing about. Only to figure out how they can get the two of them together in one place.

---

A routine fire drill for an office building was a normal day for the 118. Bobby coordinated with the team from outside. Hen, Chim and Buck all inside the building, they went through various floors checking to make sure they were clear while Eddie was in the lobby.

This was their first shift back after their 24 hour shift as was it the first shift back since the Eddie “I had a friend that I loved but did nothing” bomb was dropped. The team took their sweet time clearing the building, they were supposed to be in and out as fast as they can be because they were supposed to be acting like it was a real fire.

You on the other hand, were now arriving to work. You had a check in with your doctor and called in to say you’d be late. You find your way through the crowd outside of the building and spot Lauren by a corner.

“Hey!” she smiles, you smile back at her. “What’s going on?” you ask her, turning to look at the crowd forming by the door. “Fire drill” she informs you, nodding towards the 2 big red firetrucks parked in front of the building. You hum, the side of the truck had big white numbers that said 118. Why did that feel so familiar to you ?

“He works at station 118 now” Eddie’s mother’s words ringing in your head.

No no no no no, not again. God I hope he isn't working today.

Everyone reenters the building and there he was again. You couldn’t help but look at him. He had grown since you saw him that day at the store, you didn’t know what you were expecting. He stood there, his coat undone and his helmet in his hand, his typically well kept hair was wavy and messy from the helmet. He looked cute, but you wouldn't dare to tell him that. Not then, not now. You look away before he sees you. Making your way up the stairs, you were searching through your bag for your phone when you bumped into someone. Their hands on your arms, “sorry about that” you mumble before looking up.

Buck smiled at you, “it’s okay. I didn’t know you worked here”

“Yeah, started a few weeks ago”

“Hey, why don't you come out with us tonight ? Chimney will be there and my sister Maddie, plus Hen and her wife are coming. She works with us, you’ll really like her” Buck gave you a smile, his eyes pleading for you to join them. He didn’t mention Eddie but you’re sure he would be there. Oh what the hell, you co-existed in El Paso for years, you had the same friends there too, what difference did it make here?

“You know what, sure. Where and when ?”

Buck reached into his pocket for his phone, giving it to you. “I’ll text you the details” you type your number into Buck’s phone. HIs radio went off, someone was looking for Buckley which you assumed was him and it was, he shouted that he’d text you as he ran off down the hallway. Chuckling at the man, you wondered how someone as joyful and sweet as him stayed so joyful and sweet doing a job like his. Surely, he had seen some messed up stuff, there was no way he didn’t. Nothing thinking much into it, you head into work for the day.

----

Buck didn’t take long to text you a name of a restaurant and a time, he also told you to ask for Buckley when you arrived. Work kind of flies by when you have something to do, soon enough you were at home getting ready. The place was 20 minutes from your place, you arrived on time surprisingly. The man at the front smiled at you and led you into the restaurant when you gave him the name. Just as you were walking in, your phone chimed.

From Buck: Okay don't be mad but Hen and Karen can’t make it. Chimney and Maddie are having a date night in and I’m sitting on my couch but have fun

From Buck: But drinks tomorrow I promise, if you’re not mad at me :)

Did he send you here to have dinner by yourself ?

When you looked up, the man had just stopped in front of a table, had you not looked up you would have walked into him. Eddie sat at a table for 2, you look at him and he looks at you. The man excused himself as the two of you are looking at each other like you’re the only people in the place once again.

“Buck ?” you ask him

“Buck.” he answers, you hum.

You pause for a moment. “Well, I can leave. We don't have to st-” “no please, sit” Eddie says, your brows furrow before you sit across from him.

“I didn’t-” “When did-” the sentences cut off each other. Gesturing to him, “you first” your attention on the man in front of you. He takes a sip of water before speaking. “I didn’t know you moved to LA” he says, you hum. “I didn’t know you moved either.”

“Yeah after Shannon-”

“Left. Yeah, your mom told me.”

“How did Buck get you here?” Eddie looks over at you. “Bumped into me during the fire drill. He asked me to come out with the team tonight, to meet them.”

“He told me that he wanted to get dinner and help me plan Christopher’s birthday party”

“Chris has probably gotten so big”

“Yeah, he did” Eddie pulls his phone out to show you a picture. Eddie and Christopher sat on the couch next to Eddie’s grandmother.

“Awe, he’s grown so much. How’s your Abuela ?”

“She's good, she's been helping me out with Christoper since I moved here.”

Your eyes drifting back to the phone that sat on the table, it seemed like a recent photo. The cake on the table read “happy birthday” and Christoper’s arms are wrapped around Eddie’s waist. Chris is laughing with frosting on his cheek while Abuela feeds Eddie a piece of cake. The picture was from Eddie’s birthday, it was from last weekend.

“oh my god, it slipped my mind.” you look at him, Eddie’s brows furrowed and his head tilts slightly. “What’s wrong ?” he sounded concerned.

“Happy birthday Eddie” smiling at your friend- if you could even call him that. Eddie returns the smile. “Thank you”

The waiter returns to the table, asking if you were ready to order. Eddie looks at you, unsure what to say to the waiter. You speak up, “No thank you, I think we’re going to get going.”

“Is there any way we could get you to stay ?” the waiter asks, you smile politely and shake your head. “Thank you but the babysitter called, our son isn't feeling too well so we’re going to head home” now smiling sweetly at the waiter, he nods and leaves. Eddie’s eyes are on you, you could feel them on your from the moment you say “our son”

Getting up, picking up your purse. “It was nice seeing you Eddie”

“Wait! Let me walk you out” he gets up from his seat, he follows you as you make your way through the tables and out of the restaurant.

“No thanks, I’m more than capable of walking myself out” you say with a hint of annoyance in your voice. You’re out on the street walking towards the direction of your car when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist tugging you back slightly.

“I know you’re capable, but please. It’s the least I can do” he gives you a pathetic look, a small pout on his face.

“God, stop it. You know I hate that stupid face” pulling your hand away, you continue towards your car. “What face?” he shouts, jogging behind you as he follows you to your car.

“That stupid pout of yours. It always got me to give in” turning around, you hadn't realized how close behind you Eddie was. His chest against yours, his hand on your waist instinctively when you bump into him. Eddie had no clue what you were talking about, a pout ? He had never pouted a day in his life. Clearing his throat, he relaxed his face as best as he could.

“Can we talk, please ?” you shake your head, moving his hand from your hip. “Eddie, what more is there to say ?”

“I love you.”

The 3 words you had been dying to hear since freshman year of high school. The 3 words that would have been the glue to hold your relationship together all those years ago.

“Eddie, what-” you breathe. You were at a loss for words. Why now? Why not all those years ago?

“I know” he takes a step back.

“Why now? Is it because you already got married ? Because you have Chris ? Because you don’t need me to give you those things, you just- why ?”

“Y/n, it was never about those things with you.” he reaches for your hand, you pull away.

“But it was. It always was about the future we would have built together. You wanted to get married, you wanted to have children and I didn’t. I wasn’t ready. I still don't know if I am. So please, if you’re just going to leave again, go now before I fall in love with you again.” admitting your feelings to him in the middle of the street.

“I got married, I have a kid - and you’re right. I don't feel the need to do those again because I already have. It doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. It doesn't mean a day hasn't passed by that I didn’t think about you or that I didn’t want to call you.” he sighs, his heart on his sleeve. Eddie wasn’t only one to talk about his feelings, ever. It meant a lot to both of you that you had your feelings out in the open.

Eddie’s hands grabbed your waist, your body pressed against his. “Eddie, please don’t. I can’t do this. We’ve both moved on-” his hand cradled your face, his lips on yours ended your sentence.

Your heart pounded in your chest, you could only focus on how Eddie’s lips felt against yours. You had been dreaming for another moment like this since he left you that day in your bedroom, it felt as if time stopped and it was only the two of you while the world melted away.

Eddie’s eyes had ever so slightly opened, taking the beautiful women in front of him. Taking in the moment just to make sure he wasn’t imagining what he had dreamt of and for the first time in all those years, he didn’t feel sad when he thought of you, he saw the one he had been waiting for.

“Ed-” “Y/n, I love you.”

“Eddie I-”

“No, it’s you. It's always been you.”

“Oh my god, Edmundo! Shut up, I'm trying to tell you something” you groan, Eddie bites back a smile.

“What is it?”

“I love you too.”

----

Yeah I got lazy, but happy ending :) Just assume they worked things out and are happy now :)

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @mikaelson-emma @beth-winchester21 @averyhotchner @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling

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megslovesbooks · 3 years ago

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Febuwhump Day 1

Head Wound

It’s not often that they get a call where the RA unit goes out without the engine, Eddie can count on one hand the number of times it’s happened since he’s been partnered up with Hen. He’s not wild about them, even though he knows they always mean the ambulance is being called in to back up a scene already in progress, it always feels a little bit like they’re going out unprepared and unprotected without the steady presence of the bigger truck. It feels like stepping into fire without protective gear, it makes him feel edgy and unsettled. Frank, Eddie thinks, would probably have a field day with that particular set of emotions.

Today when the call for backup at a traffic accident comes Eddie bites back an unhappy groan. On top of everything else it’s absolutely pouring rain and he’s only just now feeling warm again after the last call. Buck shoots him a sympathetic look from the other end of the couch and Eddie pushes himself to his feet and heads for the bay. He meets Hen half way, surprised when she motions to the driver’s side.

“You drive.” she says, holding up her smaller go kit, “I wasn’t quite done reorganizing.”

That’s probably true, they haven’t been back long and their gear had been pretty thoroughly soaked on the last call. He suspects it’s more than that though. They’ve been having trouble finding a rhythm today, stepping on each other’s toes, ruffling each other's feathers. They’ll sort it out, and in the meantime they’ll get the job done. He trusts Hen, trusts his relationship with her, but sometimes it's hard not to hold the fact that they can’t read each other’s minds against her. He often wonders if she feels the same. She’d been particularly brisk with him today, if he had to guess he’d say giving up the driver’s seat is her way of saying sorry.

“Sure.” he says, and is glad when she returns his grin. Then they’re out the door and on the rain-slicked streets.

“Still up for a playdate with the kids this weekend?” Eddie asks, glancing down at the gps, they aren’t going far but he’s learning that driving the streets looks different than watching them go by outside the engine windows. The rain is coming down so hard he can’t see more than 15 feet in front of them.

“Yeah” Hen says, laughing as she zips her bag back up. “Denny’s been crawling the walls in all this rain, I think if we canceled now he’d stage a hostile takeover.”

He’s about to answer, to tell her that Chris has been saving his new puzzle game so he and Denny can do it together, but he doesn’t get the chance because Hen is suddenly saying ‘Eddie!’ in a strangled kind of way. There is a terrible jerking sensation, the sound of twisting metal and breaking glass, then there is nothing at all.

Fuck that hurts.

It's the first coherent thought Eddie can manage. His ears are ringing. He hates that feeling, the tight high whine that blots out all other sensations. He’s somewhere cold. And…wet? That’s weird. It’s dark. That’s also weird, the last he can remember it was just after noon, overcast but still daylight. Oh. No. He’s just got his eyes closed. He thinks. He should do something about that. He will. Later. His head somehow feels like it is both a block of concrete and a helium balloon at the same time. Heavy and sluggish and bobbing just out of reach on the breeze. He tries to tether himself to something, tries to turn his face into the cold water he can feel running down the left side of his body in the vague hope it will help him understand what is happening. He doesn’t get far before white hot pain lances through his head. If he makes a sound he can’t hear it over the buzzing in his ears.

Fuck that hurts.

Wait. No. He’s done this part already.

There is a sound now, pressing through the white noise like the ringing of a bell.

“Eddie! Eddie stay still!” Someone is calling to him. Hen. It’s Hen’s voice. She sounds upset. That won’t do. He forces his eyes open and immediately slams them shut again as his vision spins, his stomach lurching dangerously. But Hen is out there somewhere and she might be in trouble so he tries again. Sucking in a breath is agony but he does it anyway, letting the pain burn away some of the fog at the edges of his vision.

“Wha—“ he tries, his voice fritzing out against his will.

“Hey.” Hen says, she’s close beside him now but he can’t get his body to shift so he can see her. “Just stay still ok? You’re jammed in there pretty good.”

The jumbled mess in front of him begins to resolve itself into the crumpled remains of the ambulance’s dashboard. His door is caved in, trapping his lower body in a mess of broken plastic and glass. The roof above him, what he can see anyway, is peeling away like a cartoon tin can, rain running down the inside of the cab in icy sheets. Well. Shit.

“Wreck?” he asks Hen, wishing he could see her.

“Yeah.” she says, there’s a shaky edge to her voice that he doesn’t like. He starts working up the gumption to turn toward her. “Delivery truck hydroplaned through the intersection, smashed into your door. The driver’s ok, just some minor cuts and bruises I think. He’s radioing for help, ours is busted. My door is jammed, I can’t get it open.”

That’s a lot of information. How long has he been out?

“You—“ the words get caught in his throat and he has to cough to clear them. “You ok?”

“Yeah.” she says, and he can hear her shifting around beside him. “I’m ok Eddie.”

“Don’t sound ok.” He doesn’t actually mean to say that. It’s just that he’s so damn tired.

“Yeah well, you’re worrying me a little here. Eddie! Stay awake ok?”

He is awake isn’t he? Oh. Right.

Blinking his eyes open is a little bit harder this time. With a grunt that borders on a whine he manages to finally roll his head in her direction. Pain lights up the space behind his eyes like a firework display. He hates fireworks. Who thought shooting explosives into the sky for fun was a good idea?

“Hey.” Hen says, he can see her now, she’s kneeling on the seat beside him, her med kit spread open on the shattered remains of the center console. “I told you not to move.” She looks better than she sounds, there’s a shallow cut on her cheek and a few more on the exposed skin of her neck, but they seem to have stopped bleeding. Her eyes, when she looks at him, are focused and sharp. He can’t see any sign of external bleeding and she’s not holding herself in a way that suggests she’s hiding anything. Unless the adrenaline is keeping her from feeling something…he should…

“Eddie.” she snaps, settling a hand lightly on his chest, that’s all it takes for what little strength he’d been trying to muster to evaporate. “I swear to god if you don’t stay put–”

“Sorry.” he says, or tries to, the word comes out slanted and warped. If he could just…

“Unh uh.” Hen snaps, her fingers are cold where they tap against his cheek. “Eyes open Diaz.” He blinks at her, vaguely surprised to see the blood on her skin as she pulls her hand away. What? Behind her he can see the windscreen is a spider’s web of cracks and fractures. That’s not good.

“Did we wreck?” he asks, there's an answer to this question. He feels like he should know it, but he can’t seem to hang onto it. There are too many thoughts in his head, or maybe not enough. It makes him dizzy to try and sort through. Hen’s mouth twists down into a grim line but her voice is gentle when she says,

“Yeah Eddie, we did. You took a pretty good hit, but help is coming ok? You just stay with me. I need you to hang on a little longer.”

“Hmmmmm.” The sound is the best he can manage. Everything is beginning to feel so distant, like he could just float away into the sky and be done with it. Except he can’t do that. He has people relying on him. Chris…and…Abuela…and…Buck… “Buck said that to me.” He says, the words rising up in his mouth without him meaning to let them loose. “That day. In the back of the engine, he asked me to hang on.”

“You listened to him.” She’s pressing something to the side of his head with steady hands. It doesn’t hurt anymore.

“Course I did, ‘s Buck. Always listen.” He loves listening to Buck, even when they’re disagreeing about something. He’d gladly spend the rest of his life listening to Buck, to encyclopedic facts and convoluted explanations and heartfelt exposition. He’s never had anyone give themselves so freely before, who never expects him to be anything but what he is, who never asks for more than he can give. And he does want to give. He wants to give Buck everything. It won’t be enough, Buck deserves so much more, but Eddie is selfish enough in his heart of hearts to hope maybe he’ll take it anyway. He drifts.

“No, no, Eddie. Come on.” Hen’s hands are growing a little frantic against his body and he should—but he can’t— “Stay awake!” Her knuckles rub against his sternum and ok, yeah, that doesn’t feel awesome but it sharpens some of his blurry edges. “Can you hear that? Help is coming. Buck’s coming, so you stay awake for him ok?”

He can hear it now, sirens cutting through the air like a lifeline. Buck always swears he can tell a difference between the 118’s siren and other engines, something about a tonal shift. Eddie’s always thought that was a bit far fetched, all the trucks are equipped with the same rigs, but now, as the sound grows closer, he thinks maybe Buck was right after all. He usually is. Buck. Buck is coming. Eddie doesn’t want to disappoint him. Or Hen. She’s always looking out for him. She looks out for all of them. With a monumental effort he wrenches his eyes open again and Hen blows out a shaky breath.

“Just like that.” she says, and he realizes she’s holding tight to his hand. He tries to squeeze it in a comforting sort of way but he’s not sure he succeeds. “You’re doing great Eddie. Just stay with me.”

“Tryin’—” he manages.

“I know.” she says, her eyes glancing up and out his ruined window. “You’re doing so well. They’re pulling up now.”

Sure enough, over the last fading notes of the cut siren and the pounding of the rain he can hear a familiar voice.

“Eddie! Eddie! Hen!”

It’s not funny at all, but he can’t stop the little stuttering snort of laughter that bubbles up.

“What?” Hen asks, her attention split between him and whatever is happening outside.

“They’re gonna need a back up RA unit.”

Maybe it’s funnier than he thinks because Hen laughs out loud. Outside he hears the jaws roar to life.

The next few minutes swirl into one jumbled mess of lights and colors and pain. There are hands on his body and voices in his ear but it’s hard to track them. Fractured pieces break through but he finds he can’t find the strength to try and sift through them.

“We got you Eds, we got you.”

“Starting a line.”

“Uneven pupillary response.”

“Watch his leg.”

“Shit he’s really bleeding here.”

“Pressure’s dropping.”

“Let’s get a second line in.”

It’s too much, he’s drifting too far, he’s going to lose sight of the shore. He reaches out blindly and feels someone take his hand in a firm, warm grip.

“You’re ok Eddie.” Buck says from just above him. ‘I’ve got you.”

I know you do. He wants to say. Maybe he does, because when he blinks his eyes open Buck is looking down at him with so much raw affection Eddie doesn’t know where to put it. And he’s probably going to regret being so transparent later but he’s tired and shaky and he doesn’t have the strength for pretense, so instead of saying any of the safe inadequate words lodged in his mouth he just reaches up with his free hand and runs trembling fingers across the curve of Buck’s cheekbone.

“Alright.” Someone says behind them. “Let’s get him transported.” That sounds good. Transported means being dry and warm and on the good painkillers. He feels the gurney he can’t remember being moved onto begin to move. Wait. He’s missing something. Someone.

“Hen.” he croaks, “Hen.”

“I’m here Eddie, I’m ok.” she says, then she’s there, leaning over him, smiling despite the way it bunches the white square of gauze taped to her cheek.

“You sure?” he manages.

“She’s going with you Diaz.” Says the paramedic who’s name Eddie should know. Probably does know when he feels less like a blended beverage. “We’re gonna get you both checked out.”

Good. That’s good. This time when his eyes drift closed he knows he can let himself rest. His friends will be there when he wakes.

#febuwhump 2022 #febuwhump day 1 #911 on fox #eddie diaz #hen wilson #911 fic #well it only too me four days to get day one finished #off to a good start #not beta read #barely proof read if we’re being honest #I dunno friends #it’s a mess #you get it anyway #i’ll update later with the Ao3 link

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kinkykinard · 4 years ago

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The Road Will Lead You Home Again

Fandom: 9-1-1. Pairing: Buddie. Word Count: 2201. Genre: fluff. Rating: teen+. Summary: Eddie goes over to Buck’s to pick up Christopher, or how 4x08 should have ended. Warning(s): alcohol mention. Note: Beta’d by @fireladybuckley. AO3 link here.

Buck jumped as his apartment door was thrown open and Eddie rushed in, his expression bordering on unhinged. Buck hadn’t been expecting him for at least another five minutes given the distance between Eddie’s house and his apartment, but it was unsurprising that Eddie had taken speed limits and stop signs as suggestions more than anything considering the fear and restless energy rolling off him in waves.

“Christopher?” Eddie barked, glancing around frantically.

Buck stepped closer, putting a hand on Eddie’s chest to stop him.

“In the bathroom,” Buck explained. “He’s fine.”

He could feel Eddie’s chest heaving under the strain of his emotions and a frantic rush up three flights of stairs. Buck watched Eddie’s face, waited. It took a few moments for his words to sink in, but Eddie finally relaxed a fraction, dropping his shoulders and meeting Buck’s eyes.

“I’m sorry about all this,” Eddie said with a shake of his head, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. “We’re going to have a long, hard talk about boundaries when we get home.”

Buck shook his head, dropping his hand as Eddie calmed.

“Not until you’ve slept on it,” Buck said softly. “Christopher is going through some stuff right now and he needs kindness, not a reprimand.”

Buck could feel the tension return to Eddie’s body even though they were no longer touching.

“You think you know how to parent my son better than I do?”

Buck raised his hands in an attempt to diffuse the tension as Eddie went on the defensive.

“I’m not saying that,” Buck said quickly. “I’m just saying that we had a heart-to-heart and that I really think Chris could use some reassurance that this - you dating Ana - doesn’t mean that he’s going to be left behind.”

Eddie almost visibly flinched at Buck’s words, the anger leaving him in a rush, replaced by a sudden chill, an understanding. Eddie cursed quietly and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Is that what he said?”

Buck nodded, turning on his heel and making his way into the kitchen. Eddie followed along, leaning on the counter as Buck pulled two beers from the fridge and uncapped them, sliding one across the marble at Eddie.

“Between the shelter in place order and you dating again, he feels like everyone is leaving him,” Buck explained, taking a sip of his beer and regarding Eddie. “He told me that you promised him the two of you would try new things together after the whole skateboarding debacle, but this kind of came out of nowhere.”

Eddie cursed again, the conversation from that day coming back to haunt him. Of course Christopher was upset; bringing someone new into the family was a huge step, and Eddie hadn’t even asked Chris how he felt about it.

“Maybe you do know more about parenting him than I do,” Eddie said with a bitter laugh, his voice hollow.

“Come on, man, you know that’s not it,” Buck assured him, setting down his beer and coming around to Eddie’s side of the counter. He put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and Eddie would be lying if he said Buck’s touch wasn’t exactly what he needed right then. “Christopher came to me because he needed a friend, but he’s going to need his dad to walk him through this new normal.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Eddie lamented.

Buck’s hand stayed in place, its weight grounding Eddie as anxiety gnawed at him. It was terrifying, the realization that Christopher was growing up, understanding more than Eddie was giving him credit for, and Eddie wasn’t sure he was ready to take on some of the big conversations they needed to have. Shannon would have been great at it, and with her by his side it might not have been so dizzying, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to manage on his own.

“Nothing worth doing is ever easy,” Buck said sagely like he was reading off a motivational poster. “But it’s worthwhile, and you’re not alone. You’ve got Bobby, and Hen, and - and you’ve got me. I may not be a dad, but I was a pretty messed up kid. If nothing else, I can tell you what not to do.”

Eddie’s heart ached at Buck’s attempt at jest. Setting his beer down, he turned slowly to face his best friend, meeting Buck’s eyes. There, under a veil of confidence and conviction, behind the hurt at memories of his own childhood, Eddie saw a shadow of something different, something more. It was gone in a flash, before he could even begin to delve into it, but it made the gears in Eddie’s head turn a bit as he processed what that look might’ve meant.

Clearing his throat before he could get completely waylaid, deciding it was neither the time nor the place to dwell on whatever moment had just transpired, Eddie glanced around the apartment again.

“Christopher’s been in the bathroom a while, I should go check on him.”

“I’ll get him,” Buck interjected. “Make yourself at home.”

Eddie agreed with a nod, watching Buck disappear further into the apartment before making his way to the couch. Christopher’s crutches were propped against the side of it and Eddie relaxed a fraction at the tangible proof that Christopher was there and safe. He rested his elbows on his knees as he sat, dropping his head into his hands and wondering just where he’d screwed up parenting so badly that Christopher didn’t think he could open up and talk to him about what was on his mind.

“If we need to take a break, I’ll understand.”

Eddie smiled and held up a hand.

“Hold on, hold on. He and I can figure this out. In the meantime, I don’t want you going anywhere. Got that?”

Ana’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, not that he’d noticed it at the time. He’d been too busy looking ahead to a future where he wasn’t so cripplingly alone. Of course he had his coworkers and his family. He also had Buck.

Buck, who would drop everything to help out even without Eddie having to ask. Buck, whom Christopher looked at like he’d hung the moon. Buck, who was in his heart and on his mind even when he was miles away.

But he needed someone in the in-between. Someone whose touch could calm him, ground him, who could reassure him that maybe he wasn’t making an absolute mess of parenting, learning, and growing as a person. Someone who could be his heart and his soul. His best friend.

But he already had that too, didn’t he?

“I got it,” Ana’s voice called to him through the cobwebs, returning him to that moment.

“I’ll uh, talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

Eddie shook his head, dispelling the unwelcome flashback. His heart beat heavily in his chest at the implications of the memory and he nearly jumped as a weight landed on the couch beside him. Looking over, Eddie found Christopher sitting at his side, his head bowed and looking so much younger and more innocent than Eddie was used to seeing.

Any remaining anger that Eddie felt disappeared as Christopher worried with the hem of his shirt, not meeting Eddie’s eyes. Eddie shifted closer, putting an arm around Chris’ shoulders and pulling him close, pressing a kiss into Christopher’s hair.

“I’m glad you’re safe, mijo,” Eddie murmured, holding Christopher tightly enough that the boy squirmed in his grip. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, dad,” Christopher said quietly, keeping his gaze averted. “I won’t do it again.”

“I appreciate that, but I want you to know that I’m not mad at you. I understand.”

Eddie’s compassion piqued Christopher’s interest and he finally looked up, cautiously meeting Eddie’s gaze. Eddie smiled, brushing a few stray curls away from Christopher’s forehead.

“I was wrong, buddy, and I’m sorry,” Eddie said softly. “I should have talked to you before I started dating again. That’s on me. I made a promise to you and I broke it, and now I’m going to make it right, okay?”

“How?” Christopher asked.

“By starting over,” Eddie replied with a courage that he wasn’t sure he could live up to. “By breaking it off with her and by starting again with someone else, but only if that’s okay with you.”

Christopher considered the words for a moment and smiled, nodding as he leaned into Eddie again and wrapped his arms around him. Eddie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and embraced Chris, holding onto him for a long moment. He glanced up as he sensed movement in the periphery of his vision and found Buck watching the two of them from the kitchen.

“Can you start over with Buck?” Christopher asked, and Eddie’s heart nearly stopped as he wondered whether Buck could hear them from his vantage point. Buck’s face gave nothing away, and Eddie operated on the hope that they were out of earshot as he agreed to something he thought he’d have a little more time to process before acting on.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Eddie whispered, holding Christopher just a little tighter to borrow some of the boy’s unbridled courage and enthusiasm. “Do you think he’ll say yes?”

Christopher giggled.

“Yeah! He promised he wasn’t going anywhere.”

Eddie’s heart leapt at the implications of Buck’s promise to Christopher, settling into a quick, erratic drumbeat as he wondered whether Buck’s sentiments would stay the same once Eddie came out and admitted that he’d love nothing more than to have Buck in their lives forever, and not just for evenings and weekends.

“Okay,” Eddie said quietly. “Do you think I should do it now?”

Christopher nodded, giving Eddie a playful shove to get him going. Eddie took a slow, deep, steadying breath and stood, slipping his hands into his pockets to keep himself from fidgeting as he made his way into the kitchen. He could hear the drag of fabric on fabric as Christopher swiveled on the couch and he could feel Chris’ gaze on him as he made his way toward Buck. Buck’s expression was quizzical as Eddie approached and he slid Eddie’s beer in his direction again as though sensing Eddie’s nervousness.

“Good talk?” Buck asked casually.

“Yeah, I think so,” Eddie replied. “We came to an understanding.”

Buck raised an eyebrow, wordlessly encouraging Eddie to go on.

“I’m breaking up with Ana.”

Eddie had expected surprise, disbelief, maybe, but not the warmth and approval that Buck’s expression held.

“You’re a good dad, Eddie. Chris is lucky to have you, and I’m sure you’ll find someone even better for you one day.”

Eddie picked up his beer and averted his gaze as he took a long swig.

“I’ve already got someone better.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie watched Buck tilt his head curiously. He could feel those blue eyes burning a hole straight through him and he took another sip before setting his beer down. The clink of glass on marble was louder than he’d intended as the bottle slipped from his nervous fingers and it didn’t escape Buck’s notice.

“Eddie?”

“I’ve had someone better for a while,” Eddie continued before he could talk himself out of it. “I just hope he’ll have me back.”

Eddie looked over pointedly to meet Buck’s gaze. He watched Buck process, the other man’s expression changing from confusion, to realization, to acceptance, and then to something else. Something that made Eddie weak-kneed as he realized just how desperately he’d wanted to see it in Buck’s eyes for so long. For longer than he cared to admit.

Approval.

“You mean… me?”

Buck had to be sure, of course. He had feelings of his own, feelings his tone and the way the words caught in his throat when he’d asked Eddie about his date had nearly belied. He’d never been good at reading people, though, and as much as he knew Eddie inside and out, he found it even harder to read him, and so he’d kept those feelings to himself. To see them being reciprocated was something Buck was both desperate and completely unprepared for.

“Yeah, Buck, I mean you.”

Their gazes stayed locked as Eddie moved around the counter between them, closing in on Buck. Eddie bit his lip, feeling suddenly shy, unsure of himself, and Buck’s heart swelled with love. Buck broke into a soft, easy smile, reaching out to wrap his arms around Eddie as the other man stepped into reach. Eddie sagged into Buck’s embrace, locking his hands around Buck’s waist and holding onto him, breathing him in.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”

Eddie pulled back just enough to be able to see Buck’s face. He chuckled softly, inhaling sharply a moment later as Buck tilted his head, pressing his lips to Eddie’s, effectively stealing his breath away. The joy Eddie felt as they connected was so deep and fulfilling that any doubts he had went up in smoke and he smiled into the kiss as Chris’ cheers of celebration filled the air.

#9-1-1 #Buddie #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Christopher Diaz #9-1-1 fanfiction #fanfiction #missing scene

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saintbobbynash · 4 years ago

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I guess you can use this as a prompt if you’d like but also I’m just curious. How would you like for them to get together?

This is such a great question thank you! I decided to just write my thoughts instead of making it a prompt bc there's actually a lot of different ways that I wouldn't mind it to go/would want them to do. So if I wrote if it'd be just one of thos ideas (but I still might write it).

But I will start with that I definitely want them to have at least some inkling of feelings from either Eddie or Buck or even both in the finale. Because, if the writers really are gonna give us a romantic buddie storyline, I really don't see how they won't have at least a hint, even if it's one of those 'saying it saying it things'. However, since it's what I personally would want (while I try to maintain a more realistic approach lol) I would love to see somewhat of a confirmation that both have feelings for each other, even if it is a 'saying it without saying it'.

And then s5 we get mutual pining era.

Okay, so before I go any further I wanna point out a scenario that my sister mentioned even before last ep aired. I know this won't happen, but I would just love if we get some good friends to lovers angsty drama i.e. like what they did with caskett in Castle. Where maybe when Buck is saving Eddie one of them confess in the heat of the moment. Like the confession doesn't even have to be big, it could just be an 'I love you' that some people could still interrupt as them 'being bros who love each other as bros'. BUT THEN after Eddie is okay, either a) Eddie asks if he or Buck said anything and Buck tell him 'no' (you know like a liar) or b) where Buck asks Eddie if he remembers anything and Eddie says 'no' (also like a liar). And then later Buck talks to Taylor and Taylor mentions how she and him could never work, not when he has feelings for someone else and then maybe tells him "I think the universe came to you a long time ago. You just didn't realize it yet.' She then walks off and leaves him wearing a pikachu face. And then with Eddie, he breaks up with Ana and tells her that she was everything he thought he wanted, was taught to want, but that he needs to reevaluate himself. And then she maybe says something like "I hope you find what you're looking for. Though I feel like you might've already have" and he does not have the pikachu face. Instead he just gives her a small smile and nods. And then season 5 we get the drama of the mutual pining and one of them keeping the secret about the love confession bc they have to self reflect and afraid of losing what they have and worrying what the other would think and blah blah classic fic angst that I can see them put in the show since they've done so many fic tropes anyways.

But again I do not see that angsty drama happening but I would love to see IG. I do would like for them to still have those scenes with Ana and Taylor to help confirm the mutual pining.

And with Eddie, I can really see him getting shot be his epiphany moment. Whether it's him realizing that he's in love with Buck, or that he already had somewhat a knowledge of having feelings for his best friend but pushed them aside. But either way I can really see this epiphany where he realizes that he can't hide himself anymore and breaks up with Ana. BUT he still just went through a trauma that effected both Buck and Christopher, and I would like for that to trigger his PTSD. So I would love for him to want to do something about his feelings for Buck but still needs time to focus on himself. Meanwhile Buck is there with them every step of the way. (Roommates era while Buck helps Eddie anyone??)

And on Buck's side, I would want him to maybe just realize his feelings so he's been digesting them for a few months and kinda freaking out about it. But at the same time there are things in canon that showed that maybe he was aware. Idk I feel like it could go either way and either way can see his current journey being that he also needs to revaulate himself and maybe also trying to see if Eddie feels the same way.

And in the meantime he helps with Eddie deal with his PTSD and they both kinds work in healing together and Chris as well. And if that's the case, then I would love for his they get together is a scene similar to the Kitchen Scene™ where they talk about the latest things go on in their life it's all very domestic while they're doing dishes or something and then Eddie getting shot is mentioned and that leads to them finally opening up and then rush into a kiss.

Or, maybe bc of still dealing with the trauma they kinda explode and argue in the kitchen which leads to one of them shouting "Because I love you!" Which immediately silences the other as they ask in a bewildered voice. If it's Buck who says it then I can see him try to retract it in a "you know as a bro" kinda way (of course he's not gonna actually say that but it's the vibe) but Eddie interrupts him and goes to kiss him. But if it's Eddie who shouts it I would want him to either be silent or be silent and then holds his head high and says, "You heard me". And then Buck proceeds to kiss him.

Oh! Another thing I would love is Buck's realization that he has feelings for Eddie makes him realize that he's not as straight as he thought and since he doesn't want to do anything that could risk losing Eddie (especially him getting shot my goodness) I would love if it s5 he kinda explores his sexuality a bit and starts dating Ravi. And we get jealous Eddie which leads to them probably arguing in the kitchen and a love confession.

Either way I want them to get together in the kitchen. It's a mighty need.

So yeah, as I said, there's so many ways that I would want it to go (some less realistic than others lol). But, my main thing is I would just love some kind of feelings confirmation or even hints of it in the finale. And for me I would personally want it for both of them bc there's been lead up for both of them having a realization. And then I would just love to see the Mutual Pining Galore while they help each other through the traumas. And then us watching and seeing how long these two idiots in love can keep their feelings in.

And none of none of these are probably that realistic, but tbh no how they do it, if they actually make Buddie canon (and endgame) then I would freaking love it with all of my heart (unless it's something that's messed up or idk which I highly HIGHLY doubt).

But yeah here's to whatever the future hopefully holds!

Thanks again so much for the ask :)

#buddie #kj gets an ask #this got super long oops #hope this makes sense I've been sick all day s so I'm s lil out ofit #udontfuckangie

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set-phasers-to-whump · 4 years ago

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all this time been burnin’ with a fever

prompt: labor (leftover from day 6, used as an alt)

whumpee: eddie diaz

fandom: 911

heyo! i am gonna be honest i cannot figure out whether this fic sucks or is okay. i straight up have no idea. but oh well. hopefully it’s ok! this fic is pre-buddie but i suppose it doesn’t have to be? idk its a lil different from the usual pre-buddie stuff i write. also i don’t mention it in the fic but i don’t want people to worry about him so chris is like, at a sleepover :) hope you enjoy this! (title from deleter by grouplove)

When Eddie had laid down in the bunk room, he’d felt just a little bit off. He had attributed this to the current heat wave sweeping through Los Angeles, but now, he’s not so sure.

The alarm is going off and around him, his fellow firefighters are climbing out of their bunks to respond to a worker trapped under heavy equipment at a factory. Eddie gets out of bed with the rest of them, trying to pretend like his head isn’t spinning from the movement. He takes the stairs down to the truck, not liking his chances of going down the pole with his weirdly-sweaty hands.

He feels very slightly better when he sits down in the truck across from Buck. Slightly. His head has stopped spinning. Other than that, he still feels like absolute shit. He’s hot, and horribly sweaty (he can feel his hair sticking unpleasantly to his forehead), and his whole body aches like...like something. His head hurts too much to think of an appropriate metaphor.

“You okay?” Buck asks. It takes Eddie a moment to register the fact that anyone has spoken at all, and another moment to figure out a reply. By the time he says, “I’m fine,” he’s pretty sure there’s no way in hell that Buck believes him.

“Are you sure?” Buck asks, immediately after Eddie says he’s fine. Eddie sighs. He really doesn’t have the strength to insist right now.

“Yes,” he says, and hopes that it’s enough.

“Really? Cause, I don’t mean to insult you or anything, but you look kind of terrible.”

I know, Eddie thinks. I feel it, too. He says, “thanks, Buck. You’re so nice,” instead, and Buck just shakes his head.

A few minutes later, they arrive at the factory. Wanting to prove to Buck that he’s okay, Eddie shoots up from his seat as soon as the truck parks and determinedly makes his way outside, fighting through a rush of lightheadedness and forcing himself to keep moving normally.

The team heads into the building, the 911 dispatcher relaying information about their victim’s location.

“First floor, back right corner.”

Bobby leads the way, and Eddie sticks close behind him. The air-conditioning in the building has been turned off, and the atmosphere inside is choking and dry. He feels himself start to sweat even more, and wonders how that’s possible.

“Wow,” is the first thing anyone - Buck - says, when the victim comes into view. Both of his legs are pinned under a very large machine, which appears to have fallen on its side. He’s conscious, but clearly going into shock. Hen and Chim get to work on him right away, as the rest of the team analyzes the machine and waits for the paramedics to give the go-ahead to lift it away.

“You’re good to go, Cap,” Chim says, after a moment. “He’s stable for now.”

“We’re gonna need all available hands on deck for this one,” Bobby says. Hen stands up from next to the patient to join in the effort, while Chim remains with him, monitoring his vitals.

Bobby instructs everyone to different positions around the machine. Eddie is at a corner, and he braces a hand against it as they prepare to lift. He can’t remember a time when he felt this weak, but he knows he has to fight through this, has to give everything he’s got and more, to make sure that they get this man free.

“On the count of three,” Bobby says, and Eddie puts his hands on either side of the corner, pressing his feet firmly into the ground. He can do this. He has to do this. He feels so, so bad.

“Three, two, one!”

They all lift simultaneously. The machine creaks and squeaks and comes up off of the ground, and there’s a dragging sound, and Eddie’s legs are starting to shake, and his vision is going dark around the corners and his head is hurting more and more and -

“He’s out!”

They settle the machine to the floor. The second Eddie’s hands leave the metal, everything goes dark.

Eddie wakes up to the overpowering smell of ammonia. He reaches out a clumsy hand to bat the source of the smell away and hears Buck’s voice.

“He’s awake!” This is not directed at Eddie, but the next thing he says is. “I can’t believe you.”

Eddie opens his eyes and finds himself staring up at Buck’s face, half-illuminated by what he assumes is a flashlight. “What happened?” he asks, trying to sit up.

Buck’s hand presses him back to the ground, which is where he was heading anyway - even moving slightly upwards had made his head start to feel funny, and he really doesn’t want to pass out. Wait -

“You passed out,” Buck says, his voice not quite snapping at Eddie, but getting there. “We set down that machine, and you hit the floor. You wanna explain that?”

Not really, Eddie thinks. “Don’t feel good,” he says, and this time it’s Bobby who speaks to him, stepping into his field of view for the first time and bending to crouch next to him.

“I bet you don’t. You’re dehydrated and running a fever.” Eddie senses that there’s something else Bobby is going to say, but he’s interrupted by Buck.

“Even though you told me you were fine,” Buck says. “You passed out, Eddie. You’re just lucky that the patient was stable enough for Hen and Chim to check you over and make sure you weren’t, you know, dying or anything.” He sounds angry, and Eddie doesn’t blame him. He can’t believe he passed out on the job. He’s stronger than that, better than that.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Save it,” Buck says. “You think you can get up without passing out again? We need to get you back to the station.”

Eddie shrugs against the ground. This must be a good enough answer, though, because the next thing he knows, Buck’s hands are grabbing onto his own, and then Buck’s standing and pulling Eddie to his feet.

Everything starts to spin, but Eddie resolutely does not pass out. He does lean forward until Buck is practically supporting all of his weight. They walk back to the truck, awkwardly, Buck all but carrying Eddie, Bobby walking next to them.

The ride to the station is quiet. Eddie leans his head against the window and wishes that the glass was cool. But it’s warm, just like everything else, and he doesn’t think he’s ever been so hot in his life. I want to go home, he thinks, and it’s not until Buck replies that he realizes he’s spoken out loud.

“You’ll go home,” he says. “We’re just going back to the station to get your stuff, and then I’m driving you there.”

Some kind of hopeful feeling rises in Eddie at the thought of Buck bringing him home, caring for him, even, but he squashes it down and protests because he has to. “You don’t have to -”

“I’m doing it. End of story,” Buck says. Eddie flinches a little at the hardness in his voice, but he knows he deserves it.

They arrive back at the station, and Buck tells Eddie to wait in the truck while he gets their stuff. Eddie slumps down in his seat and closes his eyes and tries to tell himself that he’s going to be fine, that it’s just a fever, but he’s aching and sweaty and exhausted and frankly miserable, and having a hard time believing that anything is ever going to be fine again.

“Hey,” Bobby’s voice distracts him from his rapidly darkening thoughts. Eddie opens his eyes and sits up a little on the seat. Bobby sits down across from him and touches a hand to his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

That is...not what Eddie had been expecting him to say. He’d expected a stern talking-to, at the very least. Maybe some yelling. Not concern.

He finds he doesn’t have it in him to lie. “Not really.”

“How long have you been feeling sick?”

Eddie shrugs. “I only felt a little off before going to sleep. I thought it was just the heat. It wasn’t bad until I woke up.”

Bobby nods sympathetically, and Eddie wonders why he’s not mad. Before he can think the better of it, he’s asking.

“I am upset with you,” Bobby says, but his voice is gentle. “Coming to work sick doesn’t just put you in danger. It puts the team and the people we save in danger too. You should have told me how you were feeling before we went out on that call.”

Eddie nods. “I know,” he says, “it was stupid.”

“I won't argue with that,” Bobby replies. “I want you to get home and get some rest and plenty of fluids, and don’t even think about coming back here until you’re feeling a hundred percent.”

“Okay.”

Bobby stands to leave the truck at the same moment that Buck returns, his and Eddie’s duffle bags thrown over his shoulder, keys to his Jeep in hand. “You ready to go?” he asks, voice still distant but slightly less cold.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, carefully making his way out of the truck, bracing his hands against it to keep his balance. Buck steps closer and takes on some of Eddie’s weight without either of them saying a thing, and they walk out into the parking lot.

For the first few minutes of the drive, neither of them says anything. Then, they stop at a red light, and Buck turns to look at Eddie.

“You passed out,” he says, stressing the words.

“I know,” Eddie replies. “Don’t have to remind me.”

“We were on a call, and you just passed out,” Buck continues. “Do you know what that was like? Hearing something fall to the ground and realizing it was you?”

Eddie doesn’t answer. He’s too tired to formulate any kind of response, and anyway, he’s pretty sure that these are rhetorical questions.

The light turns green, and Buck starts driving again. “It was terrifying, Eds,” and a bit of softness creeps back into his voice with the use of the nickname. “We didn’t know why you collapsed. Honestly, you’re lucky that the ambulance already had a passenger, or you’d probably be at the hospital right now.”

“It wasn’t...wasn’t that bad,” Eddie says, suddenly realizing how much worse things could be - he could be in the hospital, for what is nothing more than a fever.

“Yeah, we figured that out pretty quick when Chim started checking you over. Your fever wasn’t dangerously high or anything. You’re just sick. Normal sick, nothing scary. Chim said all you needed was some rest and some water and someone watching over you to make sure you actually got those things.”

Eddie nods, although Buck is looking at the road and can’t see him. “Glad it’s you,” he says.

“What?”

“Glad it’s you,” he repeats. “Watching over me. I didn’t think...I mean...you’re mad at me. But you’re doing it anyway.”

Buck pulls into the driveway. “Of course I am,” he says. “Watching over you. And, I mean, I’m mad at you, too. Do you have any idea how stupid it was to go on a call like this?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “I just…”

“I know.”

Buck parks the car and gets out, and he’s opening Eddie’s door for him before Eddie’s hands have even found his seatbelt. Buck reaches across him and undoes it, wincing when his hand touches Eddie’s skin.

“You really are burning up,” he says. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

A few minutes later, Eddie is in bed, dressed in lightweight pajamas and lying on top of the covers because it’s way too hot beneath them. There’s a large glass of water and a bottle of tylenol sitting on the bedside table, and Buck is in his bathroom getting a damp washcloth that Eddie had tried to insist wasn’t necessary.

As soon as the cloth touches his forehead, though, he changes his mind. It feels wonderful against his overheated skin, and he sighs contentedly.

“Told you that would make you feel better,” Buck says, sinking down onto the edge of the bed. “You need anything else?”

You, Eddie thinks, but Buck is already here, taking care of him and worrying over him and making sure he’s comfortable even though he’s also still a little mad at him. It should be enough, Eddie thinks, but all he really wants is for Buck to lie down next to him. He can’t quite bring himself to ask, though. Even in his feverish state his inhibitions haven’t been lowered that much.

So he doesn’t ask Buck to lie down next to him. The extra body heat would probably be unbearable anyway. But that doesn’t mean that Buck doesn’t stay. He does, and doesn’t give Eddie much of a choice in the matter.

“I’m gonna go crash on the couch,” he says. “If you need anything, if you wake up and feel worse, anything, I’m right here, okay?”

“Okay,” Eddie says, and closes his eyes. “Thank you.”

He can hear the soft smile in Buck’s voice when he replies, “always, Eds.”

thanks for reading!!!!! i hope you liked this fic :) i feel like i usually write something that is like a little more hopefully pre-ship but i have become such a slut for pining!eddie so. here.

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump6 #i guess since thats the prompt lol #think i tagged the other one i did like this wrong my b #911 #eddie diaz #labor #aka ignoring illness and working anyway #fever #my writing #i say things #oughghh complaining for a sec but work was so much 2day....too many people. idk why we were so much busier today than yesterday like.#its tuesday who tf is checking into a hotel on a monday afternoon?#apparently a Lot of ppl #anyway in other news i am currently listening to a buddie playlist. its so nice but idk how people can make such good and long playlists!#none of mine top like. 15 songs lmao and they all Suck!#ok shuttin up. goodnight!

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tripleaxeldiaz · 5 years ago

Text

how easy it would be to show me how you feel

for @hearteyesforbuck <3

read on ao3

Buck knows it’s Eddie that sits down across from him without even picking his head up from the table. It might be weird that he can recognize his best friend just from the way he inhabits space, but right now he’s thankful for it, especially because he knows it means he won’t be forced to talk or think or move until he’s ready.

24 hour shifts always feel long, but this one felt more like 24 years. Calls were nonstop — so much so that Buck can’t remember the last time he ate — and each one seemed closer to catastrophe than the last. His arms ache from the three people he had to do compressions on, and his leg is stiff and sore after being on his feet more than off of them. By some miracle or good karma, they didn’t lose anyone, but they almost lost too many for Buck to feel like today was actually a success.

He takes another minute to breathe and enjoy the quiet. Everyone else has left already, and B shift is already out on another call, so there’s a welcome stillness in the loft that he knows won’t linger for long. He lifts his head, resting his chin on his crossed arms, and is met with Eddie in the same position, waiting for him. He does his best to smile, but he knows it’s not up to his usual wattage, can feel that it doesn’t make it to his eyes. He stays still under Eddie’s gaze, his eyes scanning Buck’s face for who knows what — hidden pain, fatigue, emotional distress. Knowing Eddie, it’s probably all three at the same time. But Buck gets to do his own cataloguing — Eddie’s hair still mused from his helmet, the mole below his left eye, the shadow of his stubble growing in — so he can’t complain. After a while, Eddie nudges Buck’s shin under the table with foot, motioning toward the stairs with his head.

“Come on,” he says. “You’re coming home with me.”

“You should really buy a guy dinner first, Eds.” Buck says, because he may be exhausted, but he can’t just let Eddie get away with saying things like that.

Eddie kicks his shin in response as he stands, and Buck hopes it’s enough to distract from the blush starting to grow on his cheeks.

He follows Eddie down the stairs to the locker room, grabbing his bag and heading out to the parking lot. He pauses halfway between Eddie’s truck and his Jeep, anxiety squeezing his insides in a firm grip. Eddie throws his bag in the back of the truck and pauses too when he sees Buck still 10 feet away.

“Look man,” Buck starts, shifting nervously on the balls of his feet. “You had a long shift too, I’m sure you want some alone time. I can just head home and we can—”

“Buck,” Eddie cuts him off. “I invited you over. Chris is at a sleepover tonight, and I don’t really want to be alone right now, and I can tell you don’t either. If you really feel that bad, you can pick up dinner on the way and we’ll call it even.”

They’ve been friends for years, but it still always surprises Buck how well Eddie knows him. He can’t detangle his own mind enough to figure out what he needs half the time, but somehow Eddie always sees through the knots and loops. And he always wants to give him what he needs, never seems put out or annoyed by how much Buck needs sometimes.

And he doesn’t want to be alone right now. All he wants is to be with Eddie.

“Pizza or tacos?” he asks, and Eddie’s smile rivals the setting sun, loosening the tightness in Buck’s chest and filling it with butterflies instead.

~~~~~~~~~~

He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he walks into the Diaz house 45 minutes later, but it’s definitely not a mass of blankets surrounded by pillows on the floor in front of the TV where the coffee table usually is.

He turns to Eddie, who’s admiring his handy work. “You made a nest.”

Eddie nods. “I made a nest.”

“Is pizza allowed in the nest?”

“Pizza is, work clothes are not. You can borrow some sweats if you want.”

Buck hands off the pizza box to Eddie as he heads to his room. He digs through the bottom drawer of the dresser, pulling out a pair of joggers and an old Army hoodie he’s seen Eddie wear a million times. It’s soft and worn and smells like Eddie’s body wash, and he slips it over his head before he can think too hard about it. It’s a little snug over his shoulders, and the pants are a little short, but it’s worth it to feel like he’s surrounded by Eddie.

He goes back to the living room, now only lit by the floor lamp and the glow of the TV. Eddie’s already settled in, propped up on two pillows and wrapped in a quilt. Buck follows his lead, picking a fuzzy blue blanket he knows usually lives at the foot of Christopher’s bed. He pulls the pizza box toward him, and he’s halfway through a slice before he notices the movie Eddie has queued up.

“Hocus Pocus? Eds, it’s August.”

“Excuse you, this movie is good all year round. Plus, you said you hadn’t seen it since you were a kid, so we’re watching it.”

The movie starts before Buck can argue (not that he would), and they fall into a comfortable stream of jokes and commentary. As the movie plays, they subconsciously drift closer and closer together in their nest until they’re barely a hair apart from shoulder to ankle. It feels good, he always feels good when he’s this close to Eddie, but it doesn’t feel like enough, like an itch he can’t quite reach. He wraps the blanket tighter around him, jostling his shoulder until it accidentally slips under Eddie’s and he freezes.

Oh.

There’s the itch.

Buck swallows, tries not to twitch too much in case he spooks Eddie and he takes his warmth and the pressure away. Their shared heat leeches into his bones, and he feels himself relax for the first time in over a day. It should be pathetic, how much he craves being close to people, but he’s never really felt ashamed about it. It’s how he shows he cares, how he knows others care about him, and whether it was for a minute or for a night, it’s nice to have proof of that. And no matter how much he’s craved in the past, he’s always reached a limit, had his fill and was able to pull away no problem.

But with Eddie, it’s never enough. The brush of their shoulders when they walk side by side, hip checks as they move around the kitchen at the station, even now, pressed completely in each other’s space, Buck just wants more. Wants to bury himself in as much of Eddie as he can until he can’t feel anything else, because he knows Eddie will keep him safe. He’s the most secure thing Buck’s ever known.

Eddie pauses the movie after Bette Midler sings “I Put a Spell on You,” disentangling himself from the blankets to take the pizza boxes to the kitchen. Buck misses the feel of him as soon as he’s gone, the itch only getting worse. He watches Eddie go, eyes lingering on his arms, wondering how they’d feel wrapped around him instead of a blanket. He knows, sort of — they’ve hugged enough times for him to have experienced being fully enclosed in them. But, like always, he needed more.

He has a thought, then, and he can’t decide if it’s a good one or an absolutely terrible one.

If you want it so bad, why don’t you ask?

And, sure, he could ask, and Eddie would probably go along with it as a “friend thing”, and Buck would get to be wrapped up in Eddie just like he wants, and everything would be fine. But Buck knows, has known since he felt his world shatter when that drill rig came down and buried Eddie alive, that a “friend thing” won’t cut it. He wants everything, and he thinks Eddie might want everything too, if the looks and touches and reluctance to be apart for more than two days is anything to go by.

So he could ask, and it could be fine.

But, it could also be very not fine.

Buck’s still stuck in this loop of what do I do what do I do when Eddie comes back and starts the movie back up. He’s back in his spot from the beginning of the night — only about three inches between them, but it feels like an endless chasm to Buck. Before he can talk himself out of it again, he grabs the remote and pauses the movie, staring straight ahead at the TV. If he looks at Eddie, he knows he’ll back down.

“Hey!” Eddie says. “Come on man, it’s almost over. You can pick the next one, I promise.”

“Eddie,” Buck says, mouth suddenly feeling dry. “I have to ask you something, and...just promise not to laugh, okay?”

“What’s going on, Buck?”

He licks his lips, takes a breath. “Can we cuddle?” he asks in a rush. There’s a second of silence, but it’s enough to send Buck spiraling. “I mean, it can totally be platonic, that’s fine, I just feel like I need it right now? But we don’t have to, it’s fine, forget it, let’s—”

He stops as he feels Eddie’s hand on his arm, turns away from the TV to see him sitting close again, watching him, looking almost as nervous as Buck feels.

“Can it be...not platonic?” Eddie asks, and Buck feels his stomach swoop down to his knees.

He opens and closes his mouth, trying to get his brain to cooperate, before he finally stutters out, “Really?”

Eddie’s smile is soft and easy. “I don’t make blanket nests for just anyone, you know.”

Buck feels a blush crawl up his neck as he laughs, butterflies going into hyperspeed in his stomach. He shifts towards Eddie until there’s no more room between them and pauses, a little uncertain. Just because this is what he wanted doesn’t mean he knows what the hell to do now that he’s got it.

Eddie takes pity on him though, tugging Buck’s arm so it’s around his waist, rearranging them until Buck’s head is on his chest and he’s completely encircled in Eddie’s arms. He plays the movie again, and it takes a minute for Buck to focus on the rest of the story and not the feel of Eddie’s breath in his hair and the unbelievable contentment that overcomes him. They fall back into their commentary like normal, but now Buck can feel every time Eddie laughs in his own chest, and he’s pretty sure he’s never felt anything so wonderful.

The movie ends and they start The Nightmare Before Christmas (“You said I could pick, you can’t take it back now.”), warm and happy in their cocoon. Buck dozes off halfway through, waking just as the credits roll. He tilts his head back to see Eddie watching him again, his fingers lazily dragging through Buck’s curls. If he were a cat, he’d absolutely be purring.

But because he is who he is, there’s also a trickle of doubt making its way down his spine, the fear that this will all dissolve the minute he walks out the door looming in the back of his mind. He’s finally surrounded by Eddie in every way, and now that he knows what it really feels like, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to let it go. He searches Eddie’s eyes for any sign of regret or discomfort, but all he sees is the same happiness and peace that he feels.

Still. He has to ask. He has to know.

“This isn’t just for tonight, right?”

Eddie just smiles softly, fingers coming down from his curls to trace his jawline, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He stops under Buck’s chin, tilting his head up so their eyes are level. He leans down slowly, probably trying to give Buck an out, but Buck just meets him halfway, his arm around his waist pulling in tighter. It’s a sweet kiss, soft and slow, Eddie’s lips fitting against Buck’s like they were made for it. They somehow fit themselves closer together, lost in the pulls and drags, and Buck thinks he could live in this moment, feeling and tasting and loving Eddie, for the rest of time.

They have to pull away eventually, but Buck keeps his eyes closed and he tries to commit every sensation to memory. He opens them and is greeted by Eddie’s pink cheeks and kiss-swollen lips, and it takes a good amount of self control to not dive right back in.

Eddie’s hand, still under his chin, moves to cup his cheek, tracing softly over the skin under his eye.

“No,” Eddie whispers. “This is for much more than tonight.”

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buddie fic #9-1-1 fic #9-1-1 fox #''''''''''platonic'''''''''' cuddling #and buck having some emotions because when does he not #ficcery

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bisexualbuck · 5 years ago

Text

My 911 Fic Writing Masterlist

(Last edited May 28th 2021)

I’ve finally decided to do a masterpost of all my writing for the show 911 which is the fandom I’ve written the most for. There are 33 fics in this post, holy crap.

(If anyone is interested, I’ve also written for Star Trek AOS, Leverage, the MCU, among many other fandoms.)

As a general note, I’ll say most of my fics have Buddie elements and I also try to have at least one Firefam moment. Also, please check each fic’s warnings.

This is going to be long so most of it will be under a read more.

Last thing, please! If you like any of these stories, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging this post.

Multi Chapter

Reaching In The Dark | 38.7k

It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

Leave My Body | 23k

"Do you want to see how it could have been? You are so sure you've been a burden on everyone you've ever met, but I can show you the truth."

Buck dies but it's not the end.

(Inspired by the movie It's a Wonderful Life)

Encore | 20.1k

“I’m going insane.”

“Did something happen?”

A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.

“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”

Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.

Hurt/Comfort

Death, Be Not Proud | 10.1k

There are moments barge loudly into your life and, even as you’re going through them, you know they will change everything.

There are other moments that happen quietly, unnoticed, and it’s only afterwards that you know, looking back, that they have changed your life.

When the 118 is called to a decrepit house, they don’t think much of it.

Yet this will change their lives forever.

Silent Storm | 4.4k

Buck wakes up in the hospital.

Except he can't move. He can't speak.

But he can hear everything.

Dying Of The Light | 4.1k

If Purgatory was a place on Earth, it would be a hospital waiting room.

Buck is in a coma, brain-dead - or so that's what the doctors say anyway.

(Silent Storm told from the Firefam's POV)

No Kingdom To Come | 8k

Days pass, then weeks that soon turn into months. Buck doesn’t call, he doesn’t text.

They don’t even know if he is still alive.

Maddie files a missing person’s report. Athena checks for any mention of his name anywhere in the country.

Nothing pops up, no one calls.

Buck is gone.

The Courage To Heal | 1.4k

He remembers her perfume. Thick, flowery – it makes him retch.

Why does he remember her perfume? Every time he smells anything like it, he wants to throw up, he wants to rush in the shower and try to wash away the stink of it.

Why can’t he move on?

He’s had sex with countless people over the years, especially back in his Buck 1.0 days, so why does that encounter remain? Why does it make him sick?

Why does he feel so ashamed?

Buck opens up about Dr Wells, the therapist from season 1.

The Loneliness Never Left Me | 2k

“Buck is afraid he is gonna end up like Red, without friends, without family. He thinks the job is the only thing he’ll ever have and that he’ll always be alone.”

Silence falls around them, heavy and suffocating.

“We need to show him that he’s got us."

“Not show him,” Chim says. “Tell him.”

Forever Day | 2k

The man pulls a gun out.

He aims it at Buck’s head.

“If you take another step I will blast your brains on the ground."

Hollow | ~300

Bobby on the day of his late wife and kids’ deaths, with Athena by his side.

Those Days | ~600

A look into Eddie and Christopher having a bad day made better by having each other.

Little Hope | ~500

A moment of support between two friends, Karen and Eddie, as Hen lays unconscious in a hospital bed.

Firefam Feels

Alone Again | 1.2k

Post S04E04

After standing up for himself to his parents, Buck feels hollow.

He isn't sure how he finds himself at Athena and Bobby's home, but maybe that's exactly where he needs to be.

Make It Three | 3.2k

It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.

Oh no. Oh no.

Buck just hung up on the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.

Oh no.

Buck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.

Words Unsaid | 2.2k

“What’s going on?” Bobby and Buck say in unison.

“You two,” Athena announces, “are going to talk things out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buck says, like a liar. “Everything is fine.”

Buck overhears Bobby say that he's not his kid. He doesn't take it very well.

Lay You Down | 2k

Buck is sick and can't be left alone in his feverish state, but everyone is working.

Everyone but Athena.

That Which We Carry | 2.1k

Bobby stops in his tracks.

Buck is sitting on the ground, next to his own car, his keys and phone forgotten next to him. His breathing is loud and short and he has his head in his hands so that his face is hidden.

He’s having a panic attack.

To Be Loved, To Belong | 3.1k

5 times Buck almost tells his family what they mean to him.

+1 time he does.

Buried | 2.3k

It’s supposed to be a simple call.

Of course, everything goes wrong.

Just As It Was | 2.3k

After the lawsuit, Buck overworks himself trying to prove his worth to the team.

One day, he pushes too far.

Sunlight | ~500

The Buckley siblings have a bet about what Maddie and Chim’s kid’s first word will be.

Family Matters | ~500

A look into the future at Bobby’s retirement party.

Humor & Fluff

Freedom In Love | 1.1k

“You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.

She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.

“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”

Green Heart | 3k

Buck starts seeing a man.

Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.

What else could it be?

The Most Perfect Moment | 1.7k

After Shannon, Eddie never thought that he would ever want to get married again.

Yet, a little red box lays in his pocket until the perfect moment to propose comes around.He has been carrying it for weeks now, waiting.

He wants his proposal to be perfect because he knows that this is the last time he will ever be asking this question. Buck is it for him. There will never be anyone else.

Blame It On Chimney | 1k

“So anyway, that’s how Chimney saw me full-on naked.”

Eddie chokes on his beer.

How It Looks | ~400

Someone is back to haunt Chim. Well, not exactly someone. Hen is tired.

The Rest Of Our Lives | ~500

One night, one conversation that changes everything between Buck and Eddie.

Tumblr Prompts

lover, be good to me | 7.1k

This is a collection of unrelated prompts first posted on my tumblr.

(Summary of each story in the first chapter's notes)

Eddie touching Buck’s birthmark | ~300

Eddie in a relationship is a clingy Eddie | ~200

Halloween at the station | ~500

Buck & Maddie being their cute selves | ~400

Misc.

from the bottom i come running | 3.7k

Co-written with the endlessly talented ksmalltalk / @letitialewiss

Crossover with Lone Star.

Just a soccer match for charity and two men cheering on their boyfriends.

Wait, no. Eddie and Buck are not dating, no matter what Chim and Hen can say.

In the stands, Eddie befriends TK whose boyfriend is playing alongside Buck. Out on the pitch, Buck and Carlos are a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, and someone gets hurt.

safe inside | 5.6k

Co-written with the biggest-brained and most talented chasingobligion / @starlightbuck

World-famous actor TK Strand and his bodyguard Carlos find themselves seeking shelter from fans and paparazzi in a bakery Carlos knows very well.

Baking leads to a few life changes.

Breathe You In | 2k

Eddie can’t stop staring.

This selfie is going to be the death of him.Buck is shirtless, and giving the camera an intense look that leaves Eddie panting.

Buck sends a picture that tips their relationship into something new.

#911 #911 fic #buddie #firefam #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my writing #this took me FOREVER #it's also about to kill my computer because tumblr is lagging so much so i'm just gonna post #if there is an issue with the links or something else please reach out to me thanks!!#and please reblog and comment if you like my writing!!#i might come out of fic writing hiatus at some point soonish #edited

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agentlemuse · 4 years ago

Note

Dea!!! I am so in love with your Buddie the old guard fic I've read it so many times now I LOVE IT could you maybe write a little sequel to it with Eddie whitnessing Buck dying and coming back to life for the first time! No pressure obvs but you'd make me super happy! thanks again for writing the buddie old guard au fic ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

Hayley I am so sorry for making you wait!

Also on AO3

“How much are you willing to wager,” Hen challenges, her own stack of bills being dropped on the table like a declaration of war.

Chim eyes everyone carefully, emptying out all the money in his wallet with a confident pop of his gum. “I’m all in. Buck?”

“All in. Eddie?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on! It’s tradition,” Buck begs, practically pouting as he tries to get Eddie to join in on the bet. He refuses every time and every time Buck acts surprised.

“Pretty sure the only tradition here is them getting all of your money,” Eddie points out with a smirk, earning a sharp laugh from Athena.

“You are too young to be this lame,” Buck sighs dramatically as Eddie rolls his eyes. He might be lame, but at least he will keep his money.

Just like that Hen is crowing as Buck laments his defeat. He looks to him with wide eyes in hopes of sympathy but all Eddie can do is laugh. He did warn him.

Athena and Bobby were chuckling fondly from their spot in the corner, speaking to each other without saying a word as they do often do. After one night of partaking in too much of Hen’s sangria he asked Buck if they had developed telepathic powers and Buck laughed so hard he snorted red wine out his nose. Considering their immortal status he didn’t think it was quite that funny, but Buck disagreed.

Looking at them now he still says it was a valid question.

“Okay everyone listen up,” Athena announces, drawing the attention of everyone with the simple command. “We have some news.”

“New job,” Buck asks eagerly, already wanting to speed ahead.

Bobby and Athena share a sad look and for the first time since Eddie has known them they look like they’re struggling to find the words to say. Athena stands, picking at a scab on her arm.

A scab.

She shouldn’t have a—

“I’m mortal.”

It’s funny how you can live for a millennia and a single moment can still knock you to your knees.

Athena could still have three, maybe even four, decades with them, but suddenly each moment is finite. He knew this was possible, Buck had told him about Abby, but it wasn’t real until now.

He may not know her as well as the others; hasn’t watched dynasties rise and fall with her, but she’s his family now. He foolishly thought he’d have more time before saying goodbye to family again.

But it’s not about him. It’s about Athena. It’s about the people who have loved her for centuries trying to wrap their minds around life without her.

Eddie doesn’t know much about Buck’s parents, partly because there isn’t much worth remembering from the way Buck tells it, but Athena is his mother for all intents and purposes. Now that she’s - not vulnerable (she’d stab him for even thinking it) - mortal, Buck has been like an overprotective mother hen. Athena has looked ready to strangle him on more than one occasion and he’s pretty sure the fussing is more likely to take years off her life than anything else.

And it’s sweet. Funny even, how Athena looks at him with such exasperated fondness.

Only that overprotectiveness makes a reckless Buck even more reckless.

Which, fine, Buck’s immortal. For now. Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? The idea that immortality just ends was hypothetical before now.

And Buck is—

Buck is—

Buck is his family. His person. The only reason he doesn’t spend this eternity of his lamenting every new day.

Buck has been on this earth for nearly a millennia without him, but Eddie doesn’t want to live without him. Not for a thousand years or a thousand days or even a thousand minutes. Not because he needs Buck, but because he wants him. He wants his kind eyes and infectious laughter beside his side. He wants the feel of his breath on the back of his neck as he lays curled in behind him. He’s not sure he can go back to sleeping alone.

A shame he’ll need roughly a thousand years to figure out a way to finally tell him, which is not going to happen with Buck being so eager to get himself killed.

Buck insists on throwing himself into danger, which means Eddie has to throw himself further. He’s younger, newer, he can take more hits. He knows logically that Buck must have died hundreds of times before him, but he hasn’t died since Eddie killed him. Maybe he can’t keep him alive forever, but he can certainly try.

Bobby catches on first.

“Nasty hit you took today.”

“I’ve had worse,” Eddie says nonchalantly, fingers flexing against a phantom wound long since healed. Buck stormed out earlier, pissed he jumped in front of a bullet for him only to bleed out slowly. Tonight Buck will hold him closer, making sure he’s still in one piece; a bittersweet ritual they’ve formed together. He’ll take the anger if it keeps Buck safe.

“You’ve been taking a lot of hits lately.”

“Saying I should work on my ducking skills?”

“Saying you can’t take them all,” Bobby replies, cutting off whatever comment he might be opening his mouth to say with a look. “When is the last time Buck died?”

“You should ask—“

“When?”

“When I shot him,” Eddie admits, jaw clenching.

“He’s had a good run, but good runs end. He knows what’s at stake just like everyone else. We can’t outrun the inevitable. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you try,” Bobby says softly, an unspoken pain behind his eyes. “Don’t miss out on the good worrying about the bad.”

“Wouldn’t have to if he wasn’t so eager to put himself in harm’s way,” Eddie deflects, no real malice in his words.

“Funny, that’s what Buck said about Athena.”

That was hardly the same. Buck is being reckless, Eddie is just—

Well it’s not like he can take care of him through his cooking, now can he?

The next few months they take it easy on the missions, focusing on time together as a family. It’s good, great even, but it’s only a matter of time before the world has a need for their set of skills.

Which is how they find themselves in this dimly lit warehouse in what is clearly a trap.

He and Buck have taken the front, trying to clear a path to the escape route so they can’t get pinned in. The sharp pops of bullets flood his ears, a fog of plaster dust filling the air as bullets lodge in walls instead of bone.

There are too many blind spots and not enough cover.

There’s shouting, cries of pain, but none of them familiar. They’re gaining ground, they’re getting out, they’re—

The sick sound of a bullet striking flesh, muscle, bone enters his ear. A spray of blood hits his cheek.

Eddie turns to see Buck crumple against the ground.

Suddenly there is no noise, no friends or foes. There was only Buck lifeless on the floor, his head a gaping wound of brain matter and skull.

He falls to his knees beside him, blood soaking his trousers as he reaches out to help him. Only, he doesn’t know how to fix this.

“Buck, wake up. Buck. Buck.” He doesn’t recognize his voice, doesn’t recognize the frantic panic of this strange sound coming out of his mouth.

He thinks of all those zombie movies he used to watch with his sisters when he was young. The only way to kill them was to take out the brain. They couldn’t come back from that. Buck couldn’t—

Eddie shot him in the head once, but this was different. There hadn’t been this hole. There hadn’t been brain matter scattered across the floor. Buck hadn’t taken this long to wake up.

He can’t do this without him. He doesn’t want to do this without him.

“Wake up, wake up, you have to wake up,” Eddie demands, then begs.

“Eddie, we have to keep going,” Chim says from across the room, providing cover from enemies he couldn’t care less about. “He’ll catch up.”

He ignores him. Of course he ignores him. He can’t leave Buck. He’s going to wake up, he has to, so why is it taking so long?

The team moves on, because there is no other choice if they want to get out of here, but Eddie doesn’t move. He waits for a sign of life, anything, but Buck stays perfectly still. He should be healing already, blue eyes fluttering and a smile on his lips. He shouldn’t be so still and pale under the stark stream of red.

He’s so lost waiting for puffs of air that aren’t coming he misses the footsteps behind him. It’s not until he feels rough hands grabbing at him that he remembers the fight. He feels a knife slide through his ribs as they try to drag him back. He thrashes wildly, scrambling for any weakness he can exploit. They’re not going to take him away from Buck. He’s not leaving him alone. He’s not—

A single shot rings out and the man Eddie was fighting falls.

Eddie turns back to Buck who is sitting up with a gun in hand.

Eddie scrambles over to him, pulling him close, feeling the side of his head to make sure he’s whole.

“Eddie, we need to catch up with the others,” Buck urges, already back in the game. How can he be so calm? How can he be so steady? “Eddie. Eddie.”

“Your birthmark grew back.”

Buck’s face grows soft for a moment, letting out a puff of breath like it was punched out of him. Eddie can feel the wound on his side healing, but he ignores it, busy feeling the pulse of Buck’s heartbeat where his hand rests on Buck’s neck.

“Eddie, we have to keep going.”

“You weren’t waking up. You took so long to wake up.”

“I’m here, Eddie,” Buck insists, resting his forehead warm and whole against Eddie’s. “I’m here. I’m not leaving you, okay? I won’t leave you. Now let’s go.”

Eddie goes with him because there is no other option. He doesn’t want to be anywhere without him.

It doesn’t doesn’t get any easier to watch him die, but Buck always comes back to him. He has to believe he always will.

#9-1-1 #buddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #old guard AU #Cw: gun violence #Cw: gore #Cw: death (brief)#my stuff #for Hayley who has been waiting forever #happy Valentine’s have AU nonsense

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captain--sif · 4 years ago

Text

THE FIVE SENSES OF CHRISTMAS

Words: 2.1k Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, minor Fire Fam (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Sensory prompts, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Christmas, Holiday Fic Exchange, Christmas Party, Found Family, beta read by grammarly, Pre-Slash, Pre-Relationship, Karaoke Summary:

Eddie is late to a holiday gathering of the fire fam. He goes through the motions.

A/N: For @an-alternate-world as part of the Buddie Discord Secret Elf Gift Exchange 2020. I hope you had nice holidays and I’m wishing you a nice and happy new year.

Read the whole fic on AO3 or under the cut:

THE SIGHTS OF CHRISTMAS

They’re going to be late, Eddie realizes as he glances at the clock in the dashboard/panel behind the steering wheel. He hopes that they’ll be late enough that everyone is already deep in conversation or too engaged in their drinks, food, or the music to pay much attention to them entering, so he can just set down Chris with the other kids and silently slide onto the bench next to Buck who’ll greet him with a soft smile.

Finally, he pulls up in front of the karaoke bar, taking note of the nicely decorated tree someone has put up next to the entrance. On the other side, they’ve put a giant blown-up Santa Claus and Eddie can’t help but shiver. It’s a nice idea that Chimney came up with, suggesting that they all get together at his and Maddie’s favorite karaoke bar for the Christmas themed family evening on their free day. He’s heard a lot of good things about it from Buck, who Eddie knows has been there with them already. Eddie just wishes he were in a better mood to enjoy it today. Which is one of the reasons why he’d like his team and their families not to pay too close attention to him.

He sighs, putting his car into park and turning the key in the ignition. He turns back to look at Chris in the backseat. Seeing his son looking outside with excitement in his eyes lifts his mood a little. He hopes Chris has fun tonight, even if he doubts that’ll apply to himself.

They have to pass the creepy Santa figure to get inside but once they do, Eddie finds that the decorations become a lot more tasteful. There are colorful lights, mostly, but also a few small Christmas trees in the corners. The music is turned lower in benefit of the children and the bar and the tables are lined with fir branches interspersed with ornaments in silver and red. Eddie likes it.

Chris moves away from him, prompting him to do the same but not waiting on him. Eddie follows Chris’s line of sight and sure enough, they’re all there already, sitting, talking, eating, and drinking at one of the tables. Two, no, three tables, pushed together.

It looks cozy, all of them huddled closely together on the chairs and benches surrounding the tables. Like a family, Eddie can’t help but think. It’s a thought he’s been having a lot lately. And he enjoys this little family that they made for themselves amongst the team.

THE SOUNDS OF CHRISTMAS

There’s still place on the bench right next to Buck. Eddie exhales in relief when he notices. Buck’s talking to Karen and Chimney but his eyes move through the room when he isn’t talking. Eddie doesn’t think they’re searching for something in particular but still, they lock onto Eddie’s as soon as they find them. Buck’s face breaks into a wide smile and he waves Eddie over to sit next to him. As if Eddie would choose to sit anywhere else.

He slides into the free seat and gets their group's attention as soon as they realize that Buck’s focus has shifted away from their conversation.

Chimney exclaims: “The lost son has returned!” the table erupting in laughter. It’s too much attention for the way Eddie is feeling today but Buck is still smiling at him, making it a lot more bearable.

“You came just in time. Athena and Hen are taking the stage to sing.”

Eddie lets his eyes wander across the room, taking note of the karaoke set up on the stage where, as Chimney said, Athena and Hen are picking up the microphones and getting ready to sing.

The music starts to come out of the speakers and it only takes Eddie a few seconds to recognize it.

“Is that ‘Feliz Navidad’ ?”

Buck laughs, letting his head fall onto Eddie’s shoulder. “Just wait what the others have chosen,” he murmurs in Eddie’s ear, careful that no one else hears it.

“So bad?” Eddie can’t help the smile that spreads over his lips. He finds that Athena’s and Hen’s singing voices might actually be good if they weren’t spending most of the time trying not to laugh. It’s lifting Eddie’s mood considerably seeing the two of them goofing off on stage.

“Not bad, just… you’ll see what I mean.” Buck nudges him with his leg. “You wanna order something in the meantime?”

Eddie looks over to where Chris is sitting with the other kids and takes note of the full glass already in front of him.

It seems nothing escapes Buck’s notice because he’s following Eddie’s line of sight and sighs, nudging him again. “Relax, they know not to serve the kids any alcohol.” He smiles. “Besides, he’s a responsible boy, he’ll probably only order soda the whole evening.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

Buck laughs again. “We’ll make him sing a few songs at the karaoke machine and once you leave you won’t even notice his sugar high anymore.”

Eddie pretends to weigh the pros and cons of it but figures he can allow Chris an evening of way too sugary beverages.

Buck reaches for the menu and sets it down in front of him. While Eddie is sifting through the options, the last few notes play and Athena and Hen are leaving the stage. They are greeted by cheers and whoops from their group, accompanied by a few laughs, most of all Hen herself. There’s the sound of rustling of coats and scarves and bags all around and Eddie thinks it’s too much to be just from the two of them sitting back down. Looking up, he manages to catch Maddie grabbing Chimney’s hand on their way to the other end of the bar.

“Another one of ours?” Eddie directs towards Buck who only chuckles.

Eddie contemplates if Buck is already tipsy or if he’s just happy today. He hopes it’s the latter and not all of it is due to selfish reasons like liking the sound of his laugh.

Eddie doesn’t expect anything but a pretty good performance of the two of them after what he’s heard from Buck’s retellings but still, the performance blows him away. Their love and coordination translate directly to how their voices work together and harmonize. It’s obvious that they have some practice.

The song on the other hand…

“It’s very cliché,” Eddie admits just as Chimney’s belting “but this year I’ll give it to someone special”.

“Isn’t it a breakup song though?”

Karen snorts.

“Don’t say that so loud,” Buck says, barely containing his grin, “and don’t tell them.”

Eddie motions zipping his lips.

“I thought it was about finding new love after a breakup,” Karen chimes in, “and that’s rather fitting, isn’t it?”

Buck points a finger at Karen like she’s made a good point. Which she has, Eddie must admit. It does seem rather fitting when you look at it that way.

THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS

He takes note of the menu that’s still in front of him. He’s skimming through the options again, just as clueless about what to get as he was before.

“What are you drinking?” he finally asks Buck.

“Oh, mulled wine,” Buck slides his mug over, “you can try some.”

Eddie lifts the mug. Long before it touches his lips, he’s already assaulted by the smell of cloves, orange, and cinnamon above the slightly acidic smell of wine. It smells good, and once he nips at it, it tastes just as well, but he knows he won’t drink any more of it.

“Oh, you need to drive,” Buck remembers, pulling the mug back. “Apparently the hot chocolate is not too bad here, if you want something festive.”

Eddie nods. “Sounds good.”

Just then, a waiter comes up to their table, leaving a few platters of food behind. It smells delicious, and Eddie’s thinking of getting something to eat too. But he’ll ask Chris about it first. For now, he merely catches the waiter before he leaves and asks him if he can order a drink.

Buck digs into his own plate, as do all those who have ordered food. It’s quieter once half of their table is eating, but the conversation is still lively and Eddie notices that he doesn’t mind any longer. They’re his family, and even if he arrived not feeling well, he enjoys their company enough to be in a slightly less foul mood.

THE TASTES OF CHRISTMAS

“You want some?” Buck asks and lifts his fork in Eddie’s direction.

It’s instinct, really, nothing he actively thinks about when he opens his mouth and bites into the brown mass sticking to Buck’s fork. The chocolate is melting on his tongue, sweet and soft. Eddie wants to ask for more until his brain catches up.

“Is that fudge?”

Buck grins.

“You eat fudge with a fork?”

Buck’s brows furrow in confusion and it’s cute. Eddie stifles a laugh.

He feels like Buck would follow this up with a remark of his own if the waiter hadn’t interrupted them by bringing Eddie’s mug. If he were at home he would’ve put more marshmallows than he got but it’s still enough to melt into the cocoa and alter the taste. There’s a hint of cinnamon too. After taking a few sips of his own, he dutifully slides it over to Buck. It’s only fair after Buck shared his own with him.

“Mhm,” Buck sighs, “it really is good.”

“Don’t finish my drink. Leave some for me.”

Buck turns to him with a twinkle in his eyes.

But Eddie doesn’t get to hear what he meant to say, for Chris appears on his other side with a question on his lips.

“I forgot my bag in the car.”

Ok, it’s not exactly a question, but Eddie still hears it loud and clear.

“I’ll get it for you, mijo,” he says, already reaching for his coat.

“I’m coming with you,” Buck joins in and sure enough, he follows Eddie when he excuses himself from the table and soon the two of them find themselves outside of the bar.

THE TOUCH OF CHRISTMAS

The air is still as cold as it was when they arrived earlier, sending a chill through Eddie despite the fact he's wearing a coat. It annoys him that he even has to wear one at all.

“You think we’ll have some snow this year?” he can’t help but ask.

Buck shrugs. “None that would stay on the ground.”

“Hm.” Eddie clicks his car keys. “Chris would love it anyway. And if it doesn’t stay on the ground, even better. That would be a rough shift.”

Buck laughs, leaning onto the top of the car door once Eddie opens it. “Can you imagine working somewhere up north like New York?”

"Work would be hell during winter,” Eddie agrees. He grabs Chris’ backpack from between the seats and goes to close the door again. The metal feels icy. He clicks his keys again before looking up at Buck expectantly. There’s something weird happening on Buck’s face, Eddie can tell.

“Are we missing another performance?” he asks instead, neither of them leaving their place.

At that, Buck comes alive again, scratching his neck. “I’m not sure. I lost track.”

“Did you sing already?”

“Why?” A dangerous glint appears in Buck’s eyes, “you wanna sing with me?”

“No,” Eddie laughs, “I’d rather leave with my dignity still intact.”

“Come on, Eddie. We’re gonna sing ‘Baby it’s cold outside’ and you can let out all your frustration over the cold weather.”

Eddie levels him with a glare but he feels that he doesn’t quite mean it. And Buck knows it if the grin on his face is any indication.

“I’m not frustrated with the cold weather,” Eddie deflects, “and that’s not what that song is about.”

Buck smirks. “So what song would you rather we sing? ‘Driving home for Christmas'? ‘Santa Baby’? But we’re not singing the ‘Santa Buddy’ version.”

“Oh God no,” Eddie groans, “none of them. What about ‘All I want for Christmas is You’?”

Buck gapes at him. “That’s your choice?”

Eddie shrugs.

“I thought ‘Baby it’s cold outside’ was too romantic for you, and you’re choosing ‘All I want for Christmas is You’?”

Eddie smiles. “I don’t mind.”

He starts to move back towards the bar but when Buck doesn’t seem to follow him, he grabs Buck’s hand. It’s cold, and Eddie might be frustrated with the cold weather after all. But this time Buck follows him back inside.

#buddie fic #buddie #911 fic #911 fox #911 fox fic #911 on fox #911 on fox fic #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #fluff #fire fam #sif writes #fic

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diazevans · 5 years ago

Text

and then they were married (it's a funny story)

Buck is looking at him like he is particularly like he is clearly missing the point, the same Christopher does when he doesn’t understand some obvious conclusion he has reached. It makes him smile, just for a second, before it disappears when Buck speaks again.

“She says we are already married.”

Eddie is really not strong enough for this.

or Buck goes a little bit crazy with birthday planning, but Eddie loves him too much to care.

“Edmundo, if you are not down here in five seconds I’m leaving without you!”

“You need to calm down.”

“We are going to be late!”

As a matter of fact, Eddie knows they are not going to be late. It’s only a 15 minute drive from the station to Christopher’s school on the worst days of traffic and they are not supposed to be there until 11 am.

It’s 10:20.

But he is not going to go against Buck, at least not right now when he seems into some birthday planning panic for the millionth time this week. It’s cute and yeah, it does make him want to grab his shirt and make out with him for two hours straight, but it’s also getting on his nerves a little bit. Eddie has to remind himself this is the first time his best friend is planning Christopher’s party at school and it’s just the desire for it to be perfect for his son that makes him be so on edge. Later, when all of this is over, he is gonna make sure to laugh at him for months, but right now he just needs to help him get everything as it’s supposed to be.

There is also this tiny, tiny , hope that once Christopher is in sight, Buck will chill out. Maybe just a fraction; he will take whatever he can get.

Once they arrive at his son’s school ( their son , he corrects. Eddie is inside his mind, he can phrase it whatever the hell he wants, thank you very much), they are greeted by Christopher’s teacher and together, they take all of the supplies out of the car and into the little space they use for birthday celebrations and, between decorations and food, he feels like they are on a mission. His mind barely has space to store how soothing it feels to have Buck by his side, chatting away with the teacher and moving beside him like they were two parts of the same whole.

“It’s really wonderful to see how both of you are so involved with Christopher’s school life. Some parents don’t really make the time.” Even when the teacher is still looking at Buck, Eddie knows it’s a clear comment for the two of them.

He turns around from the glasses he is adjusting to give the teacher a smile, but he stops short when he sees Buck’s cheeks painted with a pretty pink and he can’t just look away. It’s not the first time he’s seen the other man blush, but it stops his heart every time, especially when they’re standing so close. Still, he feels the need to say something, mostly because he knows they are not alone.

He walks forward to where Buck and the teacher had been working on, pressing a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, but keeping his eyes on the teacher.

“We do our best.” Out the corner of his eye, he sees Buck’s grin grow a bit, nodding along with his words. But before Buck can say something, Eddie finishes his original thought “This party is all Buck. He’s been working on it for weeks, that’s why everything looks so good.”

And it’s not that he hasn’t told Buck before how much this means to him, because he has and he is pretty sure Christopher has been giving him even more hugs than normal, but he wants everyone to know how thankful he is for the other man’s presence and everything he does. There is not a day when he is not reminded of the luck he had to love a man like him and that by some miracle, he loves him back in some way.

Eddie and the teacher go back to their easy conversation, but he feels Buck’s eyes on him the entire time and when he looks at him, there is something deep in the blue that he can’t quite place. It’s nothing bad, but it does make him feel tense all of sudden and he is pretty sure that the only reason he is able to shrug it off it’s because it’s time for the kids to have their celebration.

As expected, everything goes smoothly.

Christopher has the time of his life surrounded by his friends, and Eddie and Buck work around them with bright smiles and easy laughs. When it’s time to sing Happy Birthday, the little ones surprise them by singing in English and Spanish, and Eddie has to look away for a second, because that is just too fucking cute. After they clean the place and give all the teachers their thanks, the ride home is filled with Christopher’s recollections of the day and for a long while, Eddie completely forgets about the look.

It comes back when it’s just the two of them alone, with the kid sleeping in his room.

Buck is seated on the couch when he comes back from putting Christopher to sleep and Eddie really wants to stay on the entrance to watch him from afar, but there is a concerned feeling in the way Buck’s eyebrows are knit together and that is enough to convince him to get closer and sit beside him. The blonde seems to be so in his head that he doesn’t turn his attention to Eddie and his eyes only focus on him when Eddie puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Is something wrong?” He worries something has happened in the party and he is already going through the whole thing in his head to see what could have been when Buck shakes his head.

“There is something I want to talk to you about.” His voice is serious, but Eddie can feel Buck’s body relax under his touch, especially when Eddie starts to rub circles with his fingers. It’s nothing new for him to comfort Buck this way, because he has learned with time that Buck feels more confident talking about his feelings when he is being physically reassured . So he waits for Buck to gather his thoughts, knowing that whatever he’s thinking about is important.

“Today, when we were talking with the teacher. You … You had this … proud look on your face and I just …”

Eddie’s hand doesn’t stop moving, but he does hold his breath, unable to help himself. It’s basically taking everything he’s got in him not to run away from this conversation, mostly because he knows this could go horribly wrong. Yet he doesn’t, because there is no version of reality where he doesn’t prioritize Buck’s feelings above his own.

Their eyes find each other, and Buck’s smile is almost shy when he speaks again.

“Maddie’s been saying some things. About us.”

And here we go. There is no way back from this, is it?

“Things?” He has to ask, because maybe the God above is merciful and Buck is talking about something completely different from what Eddie is imagining.

“She doesn’t think we are dating.” Intense blue eyes stare at him expectantly, and Eddie realizes that should mean something to him, but, yeah? They aren’t dating?

“... OK?”

“She says we are already married.”

Eddie is really not strong enough for this.

He feels like he’s in some sort of a dream, like he is looking at the conversation he is having with Buck from the outside, and while he sees Buck’s mouth move, it’s like his brain has just shut off. Probably to preserve itself.

“And I know she was just being nosy but today at the party, I just…” There is a pause and the blue is far from his reach when Buck looks down “I’m sure this is how a marriage is supposed to feel.”

Eddie can’t be the first person in the world to truly wonder how Buck lives with his heart so out in the open.

Because this, right now? This is Evan Buckley showing him absolutely everything he feels, honest and raw, and Eddie doesn’t understand how he does it, even after everything that he has had to go through. He knows Buck well enough to know that this is really the first time that he had weighed their relationship like this, and that his first instinct was to reach for Eddie. Like he didn’t see any other way than to be completely honest with how he was feeling. No pretense or lies, no pinning or internal drama; just him and his feelings out in the open.

Eddie owes him honesty, if nothing else, , even when it breaks his own heart.

“Buck,” His voice is patient, and he is really trying to not sound like his whole world is one step away from slipping through his fingers, but he doesn’t know how well he manages that. “You are supposed to be in love with the person you marry.”

He doesn’t say it because he thinks he is stupid or because he is somehow dismissing what Buck is feeling. Eddie knows his heart, how big and bright it is and he has to make sure that Buck doesn’t think he owns him anything. That it doesn’t have to mean anything.

It’s clearly the wrong thing to say.

“I’m not a child, Eddie, I know that.” Buck moves away from his hand, indignation written clearly all over his beautiful face. But instead of standing up or storming out the door, he just sits impossibly closer on the couch, and there is a defiant attitude that was definitely not there a moment before. “Are you really gonna say to my face that you don’t love me?”

This can’t be happening. Has he always known?

“No, I …” And fuck, no, he can’t . “This is not about me” Because it’s not. It’s not about his heart; that has belonged to Buck for months, since the first time he saw him. It’s not about how he has never felt more at ease than with Buck by his side, or happier than when he gets to share Christopher’s life with him. It’s not about him .

But then Buck’s hands move to his neck and he doesn’t have the strength to make it about anything other than his own treacherous heart. He is smiling too now, which only proves his point that he is too far gone to ever go back.

“... You can’t be that dense, Eddie Diaz” Before Eddie can reply that yes, he for sure can, his best friend is moving forward and pressing his lips against his.

Two things happen at once: He kisses Buck back, and Eddie realizes that absolutely every second of his life that he hasn’t been kissing Buck has been a waste of his fucking time.

It feels so natural, so right, that the only thing Eddie can do when they part lightly is look absolutely dumbstruck. And fucked.

And so completely in love.

He still has half a mind to find his voice. “I guess we are a little married.”

“A little? Really ?”

Eddie has to laugh at that because yeah, he is pretty sure too that is more than a little, but he wouldn’t change a damn thing.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #***

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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

Text

Love To Loss

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Warnings: mentions of childbirth, disagreements

Category: Angst

Word Count: 3k

Author’s Note: this was a product of my insomnia so here we go, also yeah I don’t know why it ended so abruptly but yeah :)

pt.2: Loss to Love

Was love real ?

Was it worth it ?

All the pain and broken hearts and despair, was it all worth it if in the end, I got to come home to you ?

No idea where you were going, where you’d end up or who you’d end up being but you never let that stop you. That’s how you could yourself outside the fire station. You weren't looking for a job, in fact you were looking for someone, someone you had lost so many years ago. The station was quiet, not sure if you were allowed to be in here when no one else was, you paced the empty station.

The sound of a horn made you look up, there was a fire engine that was waiting to reverse in and you were in the way. The door opening and shutting, a man walked towards you. “Excuse me, you can’t be standing there” he says, pointing to the side of the station, you step out of the way, allowing the truck to reverse in. You watched as he instructed the driver, the back of his jacket read Nash. He wasn't who you were looking for but maybe he could help you. The fire engine began emptying, one by one they stepped out.

“Can I help you ?” the same man returned to you.

“Um, I think you can. What’s your name if you don’t mind me asking ?”

“Bobby Nash, you are ?” he stuck his hand out

“Y/n “ you shook his hand. He had a fatherly aura to him, the type that made you feel safe and comfortable, like you didn’t have to worry about anything. Bobby smiled at you, “what can I help you with, y/n?”

“I’m actually looking for a friend. I lost touch with him a while- actually more than a while, it's been years”

“I’d love to help but what makes you think I can ?”

“All I know is that he's a firefighter. I just thought on the off chance, maybe you’d be able to point me in the right direction”

“Who’s your friend ?” Bobby asked

“Edmundo Diaz, he goes by Eddie”

Bobby let out a laugh, your brows furrowed. Either there was good news and he knew him or there was bad news and Eddie had vanished or something horrible. You braced yourself for the answer. “Eddie’s one of ours. He's not in right now, his shift starts at..” Bobby glanced at the clock, “3, if you’d like to wait.”

“Yeah, that’d be great” you smiled. The two of you headed up the stairs, he introduced you to the team. Buck, who was more than happy to show you around, Chim who was also welcoming and super funny and Hen, who you instantly liked and knew you’d get along with. “Can I get you something to drink ? A cup of coffee? Water ?” Bobby rounded the counter, “water is fine, thank you” you took a seat on one of the stools.

“So y/n, how do you know Eddie ?” Buck leant forward, elbows on the counter and his attention on you. “We grew up together” you took a sip of the water. Buck’s head tilted slightly, almost like he didn’t believe you. His brows furrowed “c’mon, there has to be more to the story than just you growing up together”

There was, but were you ready to open that back up ? To tell Eddie’s friends all about why you lost touch to begin with ?

A dry chuckle left your throat, “sure you can handle the whole story ?” you smiled at him, he nodded eagerly. “Oh yeah, I'd love to know. Eddie isn't really one to talk about his past”

Good to know somethings didn’t change.

“Take a seat, you’re in for a story” you patted the chair beside you, Buck sat and once again, his attention back on you. You started from the beginning.

El Paso, 2008.

Hot summer days didn’t even begin to explain the type of weather you were having in Texas right now. The bedroom window was open and Eddie’s back was turned to you. He had been taking a nap when you arrived, the whole point of you coming over was to help him pack up his stuff. Laying beside him, your finger traced over his shoulder, moving down to his back. Tracing shapes and drawing your own little pictures against his skin. “Mhm, Shan- stop” he mumbled as he shifted in bed.

Your heart sunk in your chest.

“Not Shan” you teased, “just me” you sat up, your back resting against the headboard. Eddie’s eyes opened slightly, squinting from the sunlight in the room. “Oh hey” he rolled onto his side, his head now on your lap and his arm tossed over. You smiled at your best friend, if this was the last memory you have with him before he leaves, that's fine.

You’d keep this day in your mind forever, but just the good parts.

“Come on sleepyhead” your fingers running through his hair. He groaned, “5 more minutes”

“You’ve been sleeping all day, mom says you gotta get up” Eddie flips onto his back, head still on your lap as he looks up at the ceiling. The room is quiet for a few moments, the only noise coming from outside through the open window. You break the silence first, “do you really have to go ?” you ask him as he gets up. “You know I do,” he sighs as he looks back at you before he pulls his bag out of the closet.

“I don’t want you to leave” you begin taking some clothes from the closet, folding them and setting them on the bed. “And you think I want to leave ?” Eddie grumbles, you could hear the annoyance in his voice.

The two of you have had this conversation countless times, honestly it was the only truthful conversation the two of you have had in the last few weeks. There was an unspoken level of love between the two of you, far more than just the typical loving your best friend goes. It was more than that but Eddie was with Shannon and he says he loves her, so who were you to go and admit your feelings now. To ruin what he had with her. It would break your heart to break his so you never said anything. Instead, you stayed quiet, telling him that you’d miss him when he left and helped him pack. The rest of the afternoon was quiet, neither of you speaking, quiet exchanges as you shifted around the room and passed things to each other. Eddie sits on edge of the bed, watching as you fold a shirt, his hand wrapping around your wrist. Humming, you go on folding until Eddie tugs on your hand, nodding towards the spot beside him.

Sitting beside him, once again, the room is silent. So silence that you hear the thoughts in Eddie’s head. “Y/n, I-” his sentence is interrupted when Sophia knocks on his door, sticking her head in the room. “Ed, Shannon’s here to see you” she pulls the door in halfway before leaving the two of you in the room. Eddie looks at you, he opens his mouth to say something but you shake your head. “Go,” you breathe, “don’t keep her waiting” giving him a small smile. “Are you sure ?” he asks, his hand on your back. You hum, “I'll be out in a minute, I just have to call my parents” Eddie nods, leaving you in his room. You lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Letting out a sigh, all the possibilities running through your mind

What if you never get to see him again ? What if he comes home a different person ? What if he doesn’t come home at all ? You couldn't leave things unsaid, you couldn't let him leave without telling him out you really felt.

Walking into the living room, Eddie sat on the recliner, Shannon on his lap. “Oh y/n” she smiled, “I didn’t know you were here” you gave her a small smile back. “Yeah, came over to help him pack” she turned back to Eddie, “why didn’t you call me? I would have came over”

Seeing them together, you couldn't go tell him how you felt now. He was happy with Shannon, they were in love.

El Paso, 2011.

Over the last 3 years, Eddie had returned home a few times. Most of his visits home had been spent with family and Shannon, you’d see him for a few hours or if you happened to stop by his parents’ place for dinner. Within the last 3 years, Eddie had also proposed to Shannon, gotten married and had a baby on the way.

Eddie called you earlier to let you know that Shannon had given birth and he now has a son, Christoper. You of course promised to come by and see him and the baby and you made good on your promise.

“Hi, I'm here for uh Shannon” your fingers tapping against the nurses bay counter

“Last name hun ?” she handed you a visitor badge and a pen, “uh, Diaz, I think ? I’m not sure if she chang-” your sentence interrupted by your best friend calling for you. “Found them” you gave the nurse a smile before heading down the hall towards Eddie.

“Y/n!” his arms stretched out, waiting for you to hug him.

“Eddie! or should I say dad ?” you gave him a hug.

God it felt good to be back in his arms.

“Congratulations on the baby,” you smiled, “you're a baby yourself, I can't believe you have a kid” you teased, giving his face a little squeeze as the two of you walked in. Eddie’s arm was over your shoulder and your arm around his waist as the two of you entered the room, Shannon’s look was enough for Eddie to let go and take a step to the side. She gave you a smile, “nice of you to come by y/n”

“Of course, hope you don’t mind”

“Oh no, of course not! You’re Eddie’s best friend”

The baby began crying, “he’s got a pair of lungs on him huh ?” you chuckled, Eddie smiled as he picked up Christoper. Fatherhood suited Eddie, from the way he picked up Chris to just the way he looked at him, he’d go to the ends of the earth and back for his son. “Do you want to hold him?” Eddie stepped towards you, Chris had settled now. “Um, yeah” taking a seat in the chair, Eddie handed Chris off to you. You smiled at the little boy in your arms, you couldn't believe that your best friend, the guy you grew up with, the guy who was barely not a kid himself, had a kid.

“Hey lil man- oh you're so cute” you cooed as Chris yawned. Looking at Eddie who was now sat on the end of the bed, “The two of you have a beautiful little boy”

El Paso, 2017.

Eddie found himself on your doorstep with Christoper. Knocking on the door, you opened it. “Hey,” your brows furrowed, not that you minded the unexpected visit but you were confused. “Come in buddy” you helped Chris inside and Eddie followed the two of you inside.

“Did you two have dinner? I could order a pizza or I could make something ?”

“Can I have ice cream ?” Chris asked you, taking a seat on the couch. You glanced at Eddie who nodded. “Vanilla or chocolate bud ?”

“Both!” his enthusiasm made you chuckle, “coming up kiddo” you smiled at Chris who was already flipping through the channels. Eddie followed you into the kitchen, the two of you on autopilot, your movements in sync, not a word being spoken. Most of your memories with Eddie have been the quiet ones, not a word between two of you, just moving around together. Eddie got the bowl of the cupboard as you got the ice cream.

“What caused the visit ?” you asked, scooping the ice cream into the bowl. Eddie gave you a look, leaving you in the kitchen for a moment to give the ice cream to Christoper. You could hear the two of them talking, Chris telling his father how his favourite show was on tv and Eddie telling him try not to spill ice cream on himself and that he'd be in the kitchen.

Eddie returned, heading straight to the fridge to get a beer. “I take it dinner didn’t go well ?” you ask, sitting on the counter. Eddie let out a chuckle, “well wasn't even in the house tonight”

“What happened ?” taking the beer from him and taking a sip of it.

“They think it's a bad idea to move across the country with a kid, that Chris needed stability and apparently- they’re the only stability he’s ever had.” Eddie groaned. You understood his frustration, you didn’t have a kid but you get what it's like to have parents who are trying to contradict your life choices.

“And you're sure you want to do this ? Move to LA?”

Eddie’s brows furrowed, he looked at you. “What do you mean? Are you siding with them ?”

“No, of course not. I’m just asking if you're sure if you want to move”

“Of course I am. I need to get out of here, Chris needs a change, somewhere that doesn’t constantly remind him of his mother.” he sighed

“Eds, you know if you move you’ll be on your own. I don’t agree with your parents, you should be able to take Chris wherever you want but you won’t have the help you have here. You have your parents and me and Chris has his friends, are you sure you want to do this ?”

“Are you going to stop me ? Like you tried to stop me when I enlisted ?” he grumbled. If Chris wasn't in the house, you sure as hell would have cussed him for that. “How could you say that ? I didn’t try to stop you, I just didn’t want you to leave, which was the truth by the way.” you roll your eyes.

“Listen, I just came here for you to say bye to Chris because we're leaving tomorrow” Eddie begins walking out of the kitchen, you grab his hand. “What ? That’s it? We're going to leave things like this ? You being mad for no reason ?”

“You’re the one that doesn’t want me to move on” Eddie’s voice raised slightly

“Are you kidding me?! Did I try to stop you ?” your voice raises as well. Eddie pulls his hand from yours, Chris comes over and gives you a hug. “Bye y/n! see you soon!” he smiled at you, you looked down at the little boy, your arms wrapped around him. “See you soon kiddo” you lean down and kiss the top of his head.

You follow Eddie and Chris to the door, watching as Eddie helps Chris into the truck. Watching as he pulled out of the driveway and down the street.

----

“And that was the last time I saw him.” you sigh, Buck’s mouth hung open. “Are you serious ? He didn’t call or write or even text ?” he asked you, you shook your head. “Nope, not a word since then. He changed his number and that was that”

“Y/n?” the voice called, the voice you hadn’t heard in years. Glancing over your shoulder, there he was.

Eddie Diaz, your best friend.

He looked good, healthy. He hasn't changed besides for the shorter hair which he was pulling off rather well, it was a change from the fluffy hair he had the last time you saw him.

“What are you doing here ? How’d you find me?” Eddie asked, he was shocked to see you and you couldn't blame him. You were shocked to see him and you came looking for him.

“Uh- honestly I don’t know” you chuckled, “to which question ?” he looked over at you

“Both” you gave him a smile.

“Yeah, okay. You need to go, I have a shift” Eddie tells you. “Eddie, we don’t have any calls right now. They can stay, I don’t have a problem with it” Bobby tells him, Eddie nods. “I get that Cap, but I have a problem with it” Eddie turns to you. “You need to go” he tells you again, you didn’t want to fight with him, especially in front of his team so you nodded. Turning back towards the team, you give them a smile, “it was nice to meet all of you”

Heading down the stairs, the sound of footsteps behind you makes you stop, looking over your shoulder. Buck was behind you, “y/n wait!”

“Everything okay ?”

“Oh yeah, where are you staying ? I’ll talk to him, maybe he’ll change his mind”

Buck was sweet, his efforts were appreciated. “Do you have a pen or a piece of paper?” Buck pulled a pen out of his pocket, he couldn't find a piece of paper so he stuck his hand out for you to write on instead, you chuckled. Writing down the address and your number, you hand the pen back to Buck.

“That’s the address and my number. The number’s for Eddie or for you if he doesn’t want it” you smile at him, Buck’s cheeks got red. Poor guy was flustered which made you smile, at least your charms still worked on someone. “Seriously though, thank you Buck. It’s nice to know Eddie has people that care about him” Buck gives you a smile, watching as you watch out of the station.

Buck wasn’t the only one who watched you walk out, Eddie did too, from the balcony. The topic of you and your visit was dropped. No one asked any question or said a word. The day went on as a normal shift.

----

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal @mikaelson-emma @beth-winchester21 @averyhotchner @fernandaweasley2

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babybuckleydiaz · 5 years ago

Note

Here's a prompt for you: Post-Eddie Begins coda where they're married, they don't say much as they make their way home, Eddie goes to grab a shower, and after a few minutes of cleaning himself up, Buck joins him without warning. No, it doesn't have to be smutty, just them holding each other under the water, Buck starting to break down at the thought of almost losing Eddie, and Chris almost losing his dad.

Warnings; spoilers, and cursing. Married buddie. Hurt/comfort.

Honestly, writing married buddie is one of my favourite things. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you like it :) and honestly it’s been fun writing for other people, so thank you.

The car is completely silent as they make their way home from the hospital, the only sound being that of the wind outside and soft barely heard music coming from the radio. Buck’s eyes stare forward as he continues to drive, every few moments Eddie looking over at his husband in concern at the silence that seems also deafening to him. Buck is never this quiet, even after a bad call, usually he lets useless facts out to distract himself. But this time he doesn’t say a single word, but he doesn’t need to for Eddie to know what’s going through his head.

Bobby had told him of Buck’s reaction today, about his husband screaming his name as he dug into the dirt with numbingly bare hands to reach his partner. His heart had ached at the mere thought of what today had put his husband through, and despite his own aches and pains he just wants his loved one to feel better. It isn’t going to happen right now though, both of the men needing the silence to wrap their heads around what had unfolded on their call. Eddie needs to wrap his own head around how close he was to dying today, how close he was to leaving his husband and son to carry on without him. He would do the same move again though, he would chose to cut that line again because all knew that if he didn’t try to save the boy than he never would have forgiven himself. Every time he looked at his own son, he would have thought about it.

They get home, and both are thankful for the fact that Maddie and Chimney had offered to take Christopher in for the night; not after both of the men had given their boy a hug that lasted longer than they can remember.

Buck is still silent as they walk in side, as he throws his keys onto the kitchen table without caring where they land. Eddie stands still for a moment, just letting his eyes follow his husband’s movement as the younger male moves around the house like a zombie, eyes alarmingly blank as he gets some water and hands it to Eddie.

“Hey, I’m gonna jump in the shower.” Eddie lets him know, knowing that Buck would appreciate knowing where he is and not just disappearing; not after everything that happened today. In return, Buck nods his head and musters up the best smile that he can; it’s small and sad but it’s one none the less. Moving over and pressing a kiss to Buck’s forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment longer than he needed to, feeling Buck sigh contently and lean into the loving touch. He makes his way into the bathroom, shedding himself out of his clothing and he turns on the hot water; just needing to wash away the day.

Sighing in relief when the hot water touches his skin, Eddie braces his hands against the wall as he closes his eyes and just soaks the soothing touch in. It’s a moment after that he can hear the door open, and he doesn’t need to peak around the shower curtain to know that his husband has entered the room; deadly quiet. He hears what he knows is Buck undress, letting his clothes fall onto the floor without a care as to where he dumps them; a moment later the shower curtain is pulled back to reveal a teary eyed man.

“Oh sweetheart.” Eddie says as he gently places his arm on Buck’s bicep and guides him into the shower and under the stream of hot water. That’s when Buck’s breath hitches and he drops his head onto his husband’s shoulder. Eddie begins by washing Buck’s hair, letting gentle and soothing fingers roam over his scalp in a way he knows comfort his husband.

“I’m still here.” Eddie declares, unprompted. His voice is so soft, almost like speaking too loudly would break this calmness that surrounds them. In return, Buck is still silent as he nods his head. Eddie can see that he’s trying to wrap his head around his thoughts, can imagine the wheels in Buck’s head turning as he pieces together what he wants to say.

“But you almost weren’t, Eddie.”

Buck’s voice breaks when he speaks his partner’s name, the first sob breaking through as his shoulders tremble with the force of it. For a moment Eddie doesn’t know what he can say, because he knows that fear of almost losing the man he loved when Buck was stuck under the ladder truck. That choking fear that the next time he sees his partner will be when they’re placing him in a body bag, and it kills him to know that he caused that fear in Buck. “I almost lost you, Chris almost lost you.” Buck presses on, and he lifts his head and looks at Eddie under the stream of flowing water.

“I know, and I’m sorry I scared you. But I’m okay. I’m still alive and here with you.” Consoles Eddie, momentarily able to ignore how sore his body is from this call because his main focus is on the man in his arms. “Let me wash your hair.” Buck suddenly says, and Eddie doesn’t bother saying that he’s already done it because this is something that Buck wants to do, just touching his husband means that he’s still here.

The next few moments are still quiet, and every few moments Eddie hears Buck sniff as he tries to keep his tears at bay; and for the moment Eddie just lets him. He feels how Buck’s hands tremble as he finishes washing his hair, can feel them grip that little bit tighter than usual in his own way of convincing himself that his husband is still alive.

“I’m mad at you.” Eddie knows that, of course he does, because he’s always beyond mad every time Buck pulls a stunt that could cost him his life. So instead, he nods his head instead of trying to defend his actions. “I know, baby.” Is what he settles on, and another moment Buck doesn’t say anything before he begins to openly weep, hiding his hands in his face before Eddie takes him into his arms. Still with his hands covering his reddening face, Buck leans into Eddie’s shoulder as he feels one hand run soothing motions on his back and the other scratch at the hair on the back of his head.

“Y-You could have died! You almost left me and Chris, you asshole.” Eddie nods his head as he takes in what Buck is saying, just lets him talk because he knows it’s what the younger needs right now. “I can’t raise our son on my own! We need you, Eddie.” Tears are burning in Eddie’s eyes now, and he doesn’t bother blinking them back; he lets them slide down his cheeks. “You could, you know you could. But you don’t have to, I’m still here.”

Eddie has full faith that Buck could raise Christopher on his own, he’s seen firsthand how amazing he is what their kid and how much he loves him. Buck is a wonderful father and doesn’t hesitate in letting his love for Christopher show, he would go through hell for that boy. Maybe if he wasn’t thinking of this because of what happened today, Buck would have also said that he could raise Christopher on his own. But right now, he needs the reassurance that he doesn’t have to do that. “Shh, I’m right here. You’re not alone, neither of you are. Shh.” Soothed Eddie, and to his own ears he can hear how his own voice trembles as he thinks about how close he came to leaving them alone. He doesn’t want to leave his boys yet, he still has so much he has to do with his family and he will always fight like hell to get back to them.

“You ever almost die again, I’ll kill you.”

Eddie chuckles when Buck says that after a second of just breathing in the scent of his husband, moving his hands away from his face and wrapping his arms around the shorter man. “Deal, I give you full permission.” He retorts, knowing that if Buck is able to begin joking about it he was coming out of whatever place he had let his mind travel to. They could begin to work passed this.

“Do you wanna go to sleep or watch a movie, love?” Questions Eddie as he pulls away from the embrace they shared just enough to love at his husband’s face, to brush away the tears that had fallen. The younger man takes a moment to respond as he thinks about the choice, trying to figure out what is better for them right now. “Can we watch a movie. I…” He paused, trailing off for a second. “I don’t think I can fall asleep just yet.” He admits, and Eddie just smiled at his husband; thankful that Buck was being honest about what he needed right now. “We can do that, sweetheart.”

“I really like the nicknames.” Buck suddenly says, and Eddie can just feel how his heart swells in pure love at the soft look that adorns his husband’s face. “Makes me feel… warm.” He admits and Eddie can’t help his chuckle and leans forward to peck a kiss to Buck’s lips before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Good, because I like saying them.” Responds the dark haired male as he turns around and turns off the shower water; at this point keen to just curl up on the couch with his husband. “Oh I left some pain meds on the table for you, and a bottle of water.” Buck suddenly says with a louder tone, an obvious sign that he had almost forgotten to let his partner know that little piece of information that he had meant to say when he entered the room.

“Thank you, baby. I know you get a headache after crying, so I want you to take some as well if that happens.” Eddie instructs as he climbs out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and handing another one to Buck to use. Buck hums and nods his head in response, and Eddie takes that as an answer as the two of them migrate to the bedroom.

“We picking up Chris tomorrow? I think we need a Buckley-Diaz family day.” Questioned Eddie, already knowing that no matter what mood they are in that their little man can brighten up their day with his charming smile. Something that both of them needed and loved, and Buck is quick to nod his head. “Yeah, we can do that. I promised him we could get ice cream before he went with Maddie.” Buck retorts as he pulls on his clothing, yawning despite not wanting to sleep as he waits for Eddie to dress as well.

Buck sees that his partner is struggling to throw his shirt over his shoulders, his body sore and beginning to protest now that they have finally calmed down. Without hesitation or thinking about it, Buck makes his way over and uses gentle hands to help ease the material only his body; Eddie smiling at him gratefully. “Go sit down, I’ll bring in your water and pain meds.” Buck instructs, and Eddie just thanks him with a kiss; not needing to use words to show that he’s grateful.

Right now, in this moment, he and Buck were okay and that’s all he would focus on.

#jellyfishinc #prompt fill #buddie fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #married buddie y'all

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