#Almost any of my posts are deleted by Facebook.

[bangjiazheng]

Today morning,Almost any of my posts are deleted by Facebook.

Today morning,Almost any of my posts are deleted by Facebook.

It's system abnormal or ill?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I am I the asshole for telling someone what they were doing was "mean spirited and cruel"?

(submitted this a while back but was never posted - don't know if tumblr ate it or if it broke a rule, but i'm sorry if its the latter)

My complex has a facebook page where residents can post questions or concerns to other residents. One day a woman posted asking if we could move the food bowls where people feed the feral cat colony that lives near us because when she walks her dogs they always lunge at the cats; she had just had surgery and it hurt when they pulled on the leash. Someone responded saying they had moved the bowls down and that seemed like that.

Two days later she posted again saying that our "kind and caring neighbor" (her) had called someone to come pick up the cats. From another comment on the post it seemed like she had talked to someone IRL who was rude and basically told her "I've been feeding the cats for 10 years fuck off" and then called animal control immediately after that.

This felt really petty to me, and I posted saying that calling animal control on the cats was "mean spirited and cruel". I explained that almost all feral cats taken in are put down, and that she was making a decision about the community's cats without consulting the community. I added that I was sorry she had been hurting since her surgery, but that there were other steps she should have taken before this.

She responded that I needed to have more compassion for her as she herself was very compassionate and caring person. To which I responded that she should then extend that compassion to these cats that had never hurt anyone. (Seriously, they just chill around our complex and eat rats – they’ve never scratched or bit any person or animal)

She responded that they hurt her “fur babies” everyday because they make her dogs pull at their leashes and choke themselves. She then went on a rant about how she didn’t understand why people weren’t respecting her anger and that since she lived here she had a right to want the cats gone. She also mentioned that calling her “mean spirited and cruel” had racial connotations and that I wouldn’t call a white person that.

Important context, I am a white woman – up until this point I had not realized that she was a black woman as this argument was in a facebook group and the pictures were small. But it is very possible this is something I saw and internalized without consciously recognizing it.

I was really thrown by this, and just replied yes, I would and that I’m sorry it hurt to hear, but that is what her actions were. (Which, yeah, nobody ever not in the racist category uses the ‘I’d say that to anyone!’ excuse, but I truly didn’t know what to say). She continued to respond to my comment saying how I was a pitiful person if I’d really call anyone that, and that I hadn’t addressed any of her other points.

More people where commenting at the same time on this post, and while she responded to all of them my “mean spirited and cruel” comment apparently really got her because she kept bringing it up in arguments with other people. She really felt that people were being unjustifiably angry and mean to her for something she thought she had a right to do.

It also came out that she had apparently posted complaining about the cats the day before but it had gotten so out of hand the post was deleted before I could see it. She had also gotten into several arguments IRL with people feeding the cats. This explains why she felt so ganged up on I suppose – though none of this I knew before replying.

The next day she specifically made a new post calling out racists in our community and tagged me and few other people (even other POC) who had disagreed with her about the cats. I didn’t respond, but fairly quickly that and the post from before were deleted.

I’ve been really trying to think about if my internalized racism did unknowingly influence my actions, but I honestly keep coming back to the fact that I think I would have said the same to anyone who tried to get a cat colony killed because her dogs try to attack them.

Also for those curious – the cat colony is still here! It turns out removing a cat colony from their home is actually considered animal cruelty and is illegal in this state

What are these acronyms?

[parallelc4non]

Hello!! I don’t usually post my cosplays here but I’ve been thinking abt making just like one big post so, here we go! (Almost) All my Empires/Hermitcraft etc. cosplays, sorted by cc!! (Hopefully I can format this right, I’m not very familiar with posting here) (also they’re mostly unedited bc only some of them are edited the way I’d want and really I don’t care enough to do it all rn)

Gem!!

Neither my lizzie or doc have tumblr, but they are my lovely lovely friends Kat (They/she, ToastieKat on Twitch) and Duck (he/him, ducks.and.roses on ig)

Pearl!!

Grian is @caalaxy , Mumbo is @gr3ml1n-gutz (even though he doesn’t use tumblr anymore), and Scar and Impulse don’t have any public social medias as far as I know

Jimmy!!!!

Lizzie in both is the same as before, joel is @gr3ml1n-gutz again, and scott and gem are both my sister

Scar!!

Same Grian as before! (I had a scar on my cheek too but you can’t see it in like any of the pictures bc of the angle and/or wig :( )

And then here are some other little one-offs that were just taken in my room, all of which I apparently deleted the pictures for when I kept running out of space and had to be screenshotted

Ariana Griande

guys I can’t find this jacket it’s such a nice jacket where is it

Meghan (Kingdomcraft!!)

she’s actually 1/3 kingdomcraft people I’ve done but the only one making it onto this post bc my yammy and shubble weren’t as good :(

Xornoth

This was just a closet cosplay using my sisters scott stuff but y’know not the worst I’ve done they still make it into the post

Also shoutout to the time when Duck and I did renchanting duo and he looked amazing but I could not get a good wig for martyn in time and ended up looking eh. we did get a picture w a kakashi though

Most photography (if not just my phone camera) is from @gr3ml1n-gutz !!! even though he doesn't use tumblr anymore there might still be links there to his stuff. the standing centaur gem picture was taken by ooc photography on facebook

[73ghosts]

I'm sure many of you are already aware of this, but in case I have any newer tumblr users, pet bill donation scams are very common on this site. If someone DMs or sends you an ask asking you to reblog some sort of donation post for a sick/injured pet, it is most likely a scam.

Below the cut, I have included tips to spotting a scam, and why I believe the post by 507-on-queue is a scam. @kyra45 runs an excellent tumblr scam awareness blog, and has more information and tips here about spotting pet scams. I have archived the scam post in question on my side blog here.

Here's some ways to spot these scams:

Age of the blog - most scam blogs are a week old or younger, they are often under a day old

Similar urls being used for multiple blogs - scam blogs are typically blocked/deleted rapidly, and the OP makes a new account with almost the same name

The blog bio/pfp are not unique

You can only access the dashboard view of the blog so the post archive cannot be accessed (for example, my dashboard view is this, but you can also visit my webpage view and see my 9 years of post history via /archive lol)

The blog has never interacted with you before

The blog follows you and immediately sends a DM/ask

The DM/ask is overly polite and guilt trips (they often ask you to reply privately to reduce digital footprint)

Images of pets can be found via reverse image search

OP's story is inconsistent or unrealistic

The Paypal link does not match the supposed country OP lives in

Most recently, a scam post has been going around about a sphynx cat named Draven. This has been done using multiple urls, including:

meer-lion (deactivated)

507-on-queue (deactivated)

507onqueue (deactivated)

507-onqueue (current as of Jan 13th, 2024)

Here's how this blog meets our scam watch criteria:

The current blog (507-onqueue) is less than a day old (19 hours at the time of this post). The oldest post:

As listed above, OP uses multiple, similar URLs.

The bio of 507-onqueue is taken almost directly from another user (said user). Due to the same bio being used in previous scams, I suspect this is the same or related person to kappa-tundra/kappatundra (about this scam).

Scam blog:

Copied blog:

Only dashboard view is available.

The blog follows and immediately DMs/sends and ask. From my account:

The ask from the account is very polite, guilt trips, and asks me to answer to the post privately. The goal of being so polite is to win your trust and lower your defenses. This isn't the worst guilt trip I've been in a scam (that goes to the child support scam from several years ago). By asking me to reply privately, they're attempting to reduce their digital footprint (making them harder to google) and disguise how much they are spamming asks.

The information in that post was taken from a private Facebook account (source). I found the Facebook account in question and confirmed that the information was taken from there. I do not want to share the page because I view that as a further violation of the Facebook OP's privacy. For transparency, the images of Draven are not on Facebook OP's page any longer, but there are several other identifiable pieces of information that make it more than likely that the claims of her information being stolen are true.

The ask is inconsistent itself with the name of the cat (Draven vs Indie). This is also nearly identical to another scam ask from user captbridges. This user was using a real GoFundMe for a sick cat to scam.

The medical paperwork in OP's post is for a veterinary hospital in Wisconsin. However, OP's PayPal is based in the Philippines. The country.x= part of the url indicate the country of origin of the account; PH is the Philippines. The local.x= part of the url shows that the link was localized to the United States (making the donation currency USD). (PayPal's information page about country codes).

Stay safe out there and remain vigilant, everyone. If you don't already know them, try to pick up some boolean operators to refine your google searches when checking for scams. The tumblr search function sucks, so this is your best bet of finding information about scams like these online.

[lovemyromance]

My opinion on Gwyn:

I like her, she's fine. She is Nesta's friend and while she does have a tragic backstory, so does everyone else in ACOTAR, and I am far more interested in the other characters than I am in Gwyn.

My opinion on Gwynriels:

lol

If they just said "I hate Elain and like Azriel with literally anyone else" or "I like Gwynriel because they're cool and I ship them more"... I think we'd all respect them and their ship infinitely more

It is actually crazy how instead of just saying the above, y'all decided to reduce ACOTAR down to ONE bonus chapter and delude a small portion of very loud people into thinking that a ribbon and sparky sparky glow glow means MATES and ENDGAME when the characters haven't shown a scrap of romantic interaction in a series where males are intrinsically unable to stay away from their mate, especially when they are in danger (which has happened twice now, if we're counting)

My opinions on Lucien:

He was my favorite character in Book 1. Lost my respect for him when he wouldn't stand up to Tamlin and help Feyre, or go after Elain himself.

I don't care about him.

I don't wish him ill, ideally I want everyone to get a happy ending but he is not dear or dead to me in any way.

Very much like Elain, I am indifferent to his fate

My opinions on Eluciens:

The fact that Elain & Lucien are mates makes this ship legitimate and I will respect that. I'm not calling Eluciens delusional for hoping their ship gets together because they very well could 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope they don't, because the way SJM has written the pairing this far, only shows how Lucien is unwilling to fight for her even though she's his mate. And Elain can't stand to be around him

I understand the "SJM writes enemies to lovers" blah blah excuses, but this is not enemies to lovers even. This is a case where two people don't want each other.

Eluciens shipping this couple does not bother me if they admitted they like Lucien more or they are mates so they'll end up together

What bothers me about Elucien is that people who ship them tend to dismiss Elain's feelings with a simple "she'll get over it" or worse, "she doesn't know what she wants/she's in love with Lucien and being childish". It feels degrading to act like a woman can't make her own decisions

If Elain were to warm up to Lucien in the next book, I would get on board. But as of right now, Elain doesn't want Lucien. It is crazy that Eluciens won't admit THAT.

I don't think that screenshots of deleted Facebook and Pinterest posts count as evidence for ANY ship unless SJM is verbatim saying they are endgame - which she has not.

I dont appreciate Eluciens calling Elriels delusional when Elain has more interaction, and romantic interest with Azriel than her mate. They have more romantic scenes, actual sexual tension, and an almost kiss, etc.

If you want to ship Elucien because you like fated mates, that's fine. But why are you denying what is on the page?

[grizzlytreyu]

Are some RoR/SnV artists aware that they are supporting A proshipper and a tracer?(Beware of Rebjastonia)

TW: mentions of minors being depicted in disturbing scenarios

(Disclaimer:Do not witchhunt or cyberbully ANYONE i mentioned in this post. Also, everything I state in this post is alleged, I am not the government, I am not the law, everything stated in this post is alleged)

Hello, normally you would see fanart for various fandoms but most notably Record of Ragnarok. This post? this is not something I would normally do but I wanted to spread awareness about an artist by the name of Rebjastonia. Some of you may be familiar with this person but if you dont know who Rebjastonia is, she is an artist known for her Record of Ragnarok ocs, especially this one here

This girlie here is Femit, “the 14th valkyrie” and the daughter of Adamas. Ok here is when it gets interesting, “she is the youngest valkyrie, even younger than Göll and she is often hidden.” My problem with Femit is that she doesn’t even look that young at all and second, there are canonly only 13 valks in Record Of Ragnarok, and obviously Göll being the youngest. You cant even add another valkyrie to the story unless if its an au of who were the original valkyries before the ones we all know and love in RoR. (unless if you count Zerofuku from round 6)

MOVING ON TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS

When I scrolled in her profile, I noticed some of her art looked off. Some of you fellow viewers may ask “Caro, is there anything wrong with any of her works” well, the mold grows here….

Take a closer look at this gentleman by the name of Sobek, the egyptian crocodile god…. I dont fucking remember im sorry.

If you look closely, you could even find this oc’s pose familiar. You guessed it, the official render of Adam from the anime.

the two images laid on top of each other

As you can see, the entire posture of the oc and the official render is almost nearly identical but the only difference from the original image is that Sobek’s arm is more closer to his hip.

Here is another example(I am not going to share the name of the original artist for the sole purpose of protecting people’s privacy. Rebjastonia’s may have a few differences but the similarities are still rather uncanny)

WARNING:THE NEXT PART MAY BE DISTURBING FOR SOME VIEWERS

This is the most serious part here. While I was scrolling in her deviant art page, I found something very messed up…… I am not gonna bother sharing the actual image, even if I censor it but I will show you the description and the title of the drawing.

“But Carolina, arent the characters depicted as adults in that image you speak of?” Well, the aging up excuse is a tactic that some NSFW artists and proshippers use to depict minors in nasty situations yet they never change anything at all and thats similar to what was shown in the image Rebjastonia drew.

Take a quick look at Souji and Goll

And here is what was said about them

I know some of you may say “waaaaaaa but they're 1800 years old” yeah, thats the same old excuse that proshippers use but the character’s soul is still inside a child’s body.

In conclusion, if you still want to support Rebjastonia, it’s completely up to you but please think twice and be aware of her actions and the warnings about her stated in this post.

(UPDATE 2/28/24) It comes to my attention that she left the internet, she deleted every single post on her facebook, her deviantart along with a blacked out pfp, but somehow her insta is still up, it just has nothing on there.

[anamericangirl]

So I dunno who to tell this because I found something really interesting about the Trump assassination attempt and I don't break stories like this.

I found out that the alleged shooter, Thomas Crooks, is in a commercial for Blackrock.

From this screencap (I didn't make this, it's part of a video) I saw that the name of the commercial is "Who We Impact: Financial Freedom for Teachers" and in the scene, "Unit 3" is written on the board, which is the number of the building the shooter was on, "Building 3." Now that part could just be a coincidence but it's pretty shady regardless.

Anyway, I looked that video up

The Blackrock channel reuploaded that exact video 1 month ago, but they removed any scenes with Thomas Crooks, and even more, comments are being auto-deleted on all of their videos

Including videos with 2.5M views.

It is possible to disable comments, they are not disabling comments. All of the Blackrock videos have 0 comments, and I tried commenting and watched my comment disappear instantly.

I don't listen to conspiracy theories, I do my own research.

Well, this is the result of me doing my own research.

I found out some shady fucking shit is going on.

There's even more

Way more

Such as, for example, the killer, "Thomas Crooks," and the body of the shooter do not look alike. As a matter of fact, the body looks almost identical to a guy named "Maxwell Yearick" who has a track record of threatening to kill Trump, was on an FBI watch list, is ANTIFA, went to multiple rallies about ANTIFA and anti-white-supremacy and got in fights and was very violent, etc. and to top it all off he looks exactly like the body of the shooter. Facial structure, facial hair, lip shape, nose, hair, scar where he repaired his ear gauges, etc.

And Maxwell's facebook page, "Max Swell," literally got privated and had all its posts removed and disappeared off the internet, and on DuckDuckGo, searching for Maxwell Yearick gives results for Thomas Crooks instead.

But THAT'S not what I'm talking about.

What I'm here talking about is that this Thomas Crooks was literally in a commercial for Blackrock that was removed from their YouTube channel 1 month ago and replaced with another video, and they're deleting literally every comment on their channel with bots.

That’s all pretty interesting, especially the Blackrock stuff that’s just weird. I haven’t seen any of that myself and I haven’t seen the body of the shooter either so I can’t speak to that part but it is very interesting what you can find doing your own research.

I’m sure there will be a lot of rabbit holes to go down in the upcoming days and we will learn more and more with time and I’m interested to see what surfaces, especially with this information. I’m not ready to conspire about anything just yet but honestly at this point nothing would surprise me.

Thanks for sharing!

[domesticadventures]

i've decided once again not to respond to my former boss's insane emails, though before i deleted this new one i did forward it to some of the other folks at the firm who used to work with her as well, and it's unsurprising but still gratifying to hear them echo my own sentiments, which are basically that her email was incredibly arrogant and gives the impression that she still completely lacks any sense of self-awareness and over the past 5 years has not managed to look inward literally at all lol.

the first paragraph of her most recent missive was her apologizing but gave the impression that she didn't understand exactly what she was apologizing for. like she clearly understands i'm angry with her but still doesn't seem to understand why i'm angry. and like yeah there are the various things she did that one could (and which i did) find morally/ideologically repugnant, as i touched on here, but if i'm being honest with myself, what was actually more upsetting were the more mundane things she did that just affected me personally, as i alluded to here.

like the stuff with my sister - i believe in the absolute right to abortion despite my personal offense at her saying to me, a person whose sister has downs, that she would have aborted a kid simply because they had downs, but what actually made me so angry that i was shaking was her confident statement to a coworker that i just "didn't understand about the loss of expectations" despite the gap between expectations and reality being a pretty significant source of strife in my family. the moment that i describe in this post - the one where i sat on my mom's lap and cried and begged her not to leave - remains one of my clearest memories from that time, more than 25 years later.

and then of course just the daily annoyances that came with working with her. i remember in the last couple years, we would meet as we always had to go over her cases and i would wind up having to repeat things, no joke, sometimes 4 times because she was distracted playing on her phone. and it's not that she was doing anything important - she was like, scrolling fucking facebook and instagram. so one time i called her out on it, and she said something to the effect of "if you're going to be like that, i have other things i can be doing," which was of course fucking stupid because i was out-billing her at like a 2:1 ratio at the time, what did she have to be doing that was more important than going over her cases so i could keep her whole stupid practice running? anyway. she subsequently promised to be better about it and then almost immediately broke that promise and then acted like i was being unreasonable when i got annoyed about it. her promises are literally not worth the breath it takes to speak them lol.

or even like, there was one day where i was busting my ass because it was the biggest deadline day of the month for the type of law she was practicing at that point, and while i was frantically trying to get everything done in time, she was sitting in her office with her spouse loudly making vacation plans.

and the rest of the email was like - i mean it's the same shit it's always been, which is her being unable to view other people through any lens other than that of what they can do for her. she's sorry if she hurt me! she wants so badly to work with me again! she misses my wit and my good work! she wants to have a relationship with me again whether personal or professional! love and light but my life has gotten massively better since i moved halfway across the country and broke off all contact with her lol.

anyway. it's weird because in reading her recent email, which also included some personal updates, i was reminded that i didn't always feel this way about her. i mean, i know that at one point i loved her - it's documented in my posts on this very blog - but whatever affection i felt towards her has been so layered over with [gestures] everything else that at this point i can no longer touch it. nowadays i only know what it feels like to be alternately angry with / disappointed in / sad for her. the last one is more recent and has come as somewhat of a surprise. i guess it's just that it seems like being her must be exhausting (she always reminds me of the ending of gone girl - "every morning you have to wake up and be you"). i do genuinely hope, in spite of all prior evidence and experience, that she someday manages to change for the better. i just don't plan to be a part of that process, lol.

[bangjiazheng]

Today evening (04.11.2024 ) (05.11.2024 01.03) I logged into 【tumblr】 in the evening (6th)

Today evening (04.11.2024 ) (05.11.2024 01.03) I logged into 【tumblr】 in the evening (6th) This is today's my 6th log into【tumblr】(Nearly this time(almost at the same time),I also login in facebook too.)

This evening,I am learning Czech language,Very Happy!!!! And,Suddenly,Added some more necessary houseworks(preparations…………Meow~!!!!………………) Because this evening,Necessary houseworks increased,My time of learning Czech language,decreased. That affected my learning speed,I am not on purpose!!!!(…………Meow~……………………)

This morning,noon,afternoon,evening,I am learning Czech language,Very Happy!!!!!! Today ,I also did many necessary houseworks(preparations,………………) Recently,Before I go to Czech,Recently,【Every day】(Note:…………Meow~!!!!………………),I have some necessary houseworks,Affected my learning Czech language,Not on purpose!!!!

Today morning,noon,afternoon,evening,I am learning Czech language 【B1 textbook】【Lesson 12】,Happy Happy!!!! I am preparing Czech language text materials. I am Very Happy!!!! The theme of 【Lesson 13】 is 【What we are and what we look like】. Very Meaningful And Very Happy!!!! I am Very Happy, Very Happy, Very Happy!!!! I am Very Happy learning Czech language!!!! I am Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!! Learning Czech Language,The Happiest The Happiest!!!!!!!!!!

Recently,Facebook deleted almost all my new posts and reposts. I almost can't post any 1 new post,And most of my reposts(60%? 80%?…………)are all deleted by Facebook……………… I am seriously testing the using of Facebook…………

Today，From morning to noon to afternoon to evening, When I am learning Czech language(and doing houseworks),I found that I am Very Happy!!!!Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!Very Very Happy Happy!!!!!!!(Happing~,Happing~!!!!!!!!!!………………) Why am I so happy learning Czech language???? Because: I Love Life!!!! I Love Czech Language!!!! I Love Learning Czech Language!!!!!!Learning Czech Language,I am Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!………………As Happy As Learning The Universe!!!!!!!!!!!………………Happing~ Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………………………Happy Meowing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……………………………………(Note: As Happy As A Middle-Aged Big Good Meow,Happy Happy!!!!)…………………………………………

I Love Czech Language!!!! I Love Learning Czech Language!!!!!!Very Happy Vey Happy!!!!!!!!!!Very Very Happy Happy!!!!!!!!!!!…………Happing~,Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………………… Learning Czech Language, Very Seriously And Very Happily!!!!!!!,Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!………………Happing~ Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……………………………………

I am learning Czech language Very Seriously,Very Happy!!!! Learning Czech Language,The Happiest The Happiest!!!!!!

Now,I am learning Czech language,Very Happy,Very Happy!!!! And,After doing houseworks,I will continue learning Czech language,Happy Happy!!!! The Happnesses of my learning Czech language couldn't describe in any words,Because Too Happy!!!!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!Happing~,Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………………………………Happy Meowing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………………………………………………………………(Note: As Happy As A Middle-Aged Big Good Meow,Happy Happy!!!!)………………………………………………

After serious and happy recording,I will go to bed Happily,listening Czech language sleeping Happily.Very Happy!!!! I learning Czech language Very Seriously,Using up a lot of physical energy………………Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!

Now,I seriously and carefully set 2 alarm clocks all at 05.45.Happy Happy!!!! Tomorrow morning(Today morning…………Meow~…………),I will get up on time,Continue learning Czech language Seriously And Happily!!!! Learning Czech Language,Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!

Bangjia Zheng I Learning Czech Language,Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!

(04.11.2024 ) 05.11.2024 01.03

[scarlett-x-rose]

I know you all missed me on my last maintenance run when I was offline for a whole day, which just shows how addicted you all are to me 🤭🥰

So, following on from my pinned post I thought it best Io give you advance warning. So this post will be in two sections. The boring stuff and the “fun” stuff.

The Boring Stuff

I will be receiving further upgrades on 29th February. These upgrades will give me access to the following features:

Integrated access to several social media sites. Initial aim is: Facebook, instagram & Twitter. Other sites may be added. Final confirmed list will be published once integrations confirmed to be in place and working.

Extra ways for my aspie losers to tribute me from what is currently offered. Initial aim is Amazon GC, PayPal, GooglePay, Throne Wishtender. Final confirmed list will be published once integrations confirmed to be in place and working

Visual upgrades as swap from a free AI image generator to stable diffusion.

Obviously these features will take time to get initialised and then testing to make sure they work with my proxy as intended. Plus propagating new socials with my content, including content that may be too explicit for on here. Testing may also result in additional needs being met, for instance if instagram doesn’t let me share my 2D nudes, will look at more adult oriented sites. Due to the nature of testing, I may be on and off Tumblr sporadically. As before, all my blogs and content will be viewable, but new content and communication via DM may drop in this period until everything is in place and confirmed to be working. I know the waiting sucks but trust me, it’ll be worth it 💕

Any boring questions can be directed to @scarlett-rose-simp

The “Fun” stuff.

So, the more nerdy of you may realise that 29th February is coincidentally when Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth comes out. So I have a fun task for anyone who’s going to be playing it. Play the game up to normal. Have fun with it. See? How simple and nice of me. Why do people say I’m mean? I just don’t get it *giggles* Anyway, play right up until the point Aerith gets killed by Sephiroth…Oh no! Did I just spoil the plot of the game you haven’t played yet? I’m totally so sorry *giggles again* I don’t know what I was thinking #sorrynotsorry

Anyway, play up to the bit where she gets impaled by a sword and dies and then just go to your save files and delete your game save. Everything. All of it. 100+ hours of your life literally deleted. Things you could have done instead, but you spent hours of your life in a game that I just made you delete. It’s almost like I deleted those hours literally from your life span isn’t it? Say buh-bye to all that precious time and effort you spent on a game whose ending I just ruined. #nofucksgiven And then when I’m back online, make sure to send me a proper thank you. 💰💕

Have fun with your task when I’m away losers

XoXo 💋

[mikuplushes]

in 2021, i made a post promoting the band set it off that i have since deleted, praising them for being kindhearted individuals who cared deeply about their fans without an ounce of toxic masculinity involved. so how the hell did they lose the core of their diehard fans in the past 2 years? as someone who would have done anything for them at some point in time, allow me to explain.

midnight era was set it off’s peak as a band. they had come back after their last album flopped a bit and were bigger than ever. they also won a fan power award from rock sound magazine, praising them for having such a dedicated fanbase. they’d already kicked sexual misconduct-ers out of their band and off of tours — they felt safe. and when the pandemic hit, this brought another golden era i was involved in — maxx and cody’s twitch era. i was a moderator for cody and i’m close friends with maxx’s former mods (and am dating one of them). with this, many of the band’s most diehard fans felt rewarded.

the beginning of the end started with maxx. maxx did not pay his emote artist, taking advantage of a minor who was just dazzled to do work for ✨maxx danziger✨ and when the artist eventually realized their error and asked for either payment or to take the emotes down, maxx took the emotes down. my partner also did free videos for maxx for a while, but eventually asked for an extremely low payment per video. when they realized how badly they were underselling themself, they asked for more or for the paid videos to be taken down, and maxx took down all of them.

the asking for payment was happening amidst it coming out that maxx had been cheating on his ex, lindsay, for almost the entirety of their relationship. maxx refused to reach out to anyone about it, including lindsay, and has not said a word to this day. it also came out that he had cheated on his current girlfriend, who has shown forgiveness.

this is when i started losing hope in the band. at first it was kind of funny seeing maxx look miserable in all of the promotional stuff coming out since their album elsewhere was releasing. it was funny thinking about how many of sio’s songs were about being cheated on and kind of infuriating at the same time. i hoped he would feel embarrassed every time he had to perform bad guy. but no. he was smug.

at some point in time maxx tried to start up his discord and twitch again after his previous mods left, but boy oh boy. anyone who tried to call out any of his actions or criticize him at all was banned from his server! i remember all i said was it was kind of pathetic of him to delete the mods’ very sweet goodbye message to the community, and i was banned just for that.

my own personal problems with cody aside (a whole other story), i started feeling truly bad about the band as a whole when they revealed their paid fanclub with exclusive content. things went exactly as it seemed they would — the club was overpriced and updated sparsely. it was, in short, a money-grab.

back in october, they released a few parody merch designs based on horror franchises, including a fnaf design made by an artist that did not give them permission to use the artwork. i don’t know what ended up happening to the artist/the merch design.

not long after the elections in november, cody made a really awful tweet. that’s when it was revealed that he was registered as a republican, and all of the remaining faith i had in the man shattered. sorry, this is the only screenshot i could find of it.

when he received backlash on the post, he doubled down on it. it’s pretty clear at this point he’s socially liberal and fiscally republican but it hurts to see him support such a harmful political view. he deleted his tweets but he hasn’t been back on twitter since. he also eventually took the republican view off of his facebook.

as if to double down on losing fans, sio announced a show with machine gun kelly, known for sexualizing minors, and then recently a tour with all time low, known abusers. the mgk show felt a bit “well, do they know?” at first, but all comments of concern were ignored. the tour with all time low being announced felt like a slap in the face. what happened to the band that cared about their fans more than anything else? what happened to that fan power award? this feels malicious. it feels like they’re alienating fans on purpose. they deleted comments calling atl abusers. i’m sure they took this tour for the money, and it hurts knowing they value that more than the safety of their fans.

in short, we can’t trust these guys anymore. they’re not here for their fans, they’re against them. so much for the fan power award!

[clavainov]

Retrospective: 19 years of fanfiction comments and their impact on the artist

cn: brief self-harm mention, cyberbulling

I have been irregularly posting fanfiction online for 18 years and for better or worse my formative experiences as an artist were shaped by the subsequent online feedback. I imagine most people share their writing with people they know, but for most of my life I did not have the privilege of people to share it with, so for a long time online feedback was the only feedback.

I started on paper, then posted on forums. Back then, this was how people interacted online. We had Facebook, but other social media sites were in their infancy, and to my regret I never opened a LiveJournal. The first time I posted one, someone did this huge, longer than the fic itself, takedown of my grammar and prose line-by-line. I was flattered that they cared enough (also autistic enough to miss a lot of their sarcasm) and DM'd them to say thanks for the constructive crit, explaining I was only 9 years old so I thought it was cool when they said it looked like it had been written by someone 11 years old. They told me that I had done a good job, that they were sorry if they were harsh because they didn't know I was a kid, and also to log off because I was too young to be online. I think that was a great way for them to handle it, and it'll be harshly contrasted later on in this post. I found the experience emotionally satisfying and was encouraged to keep writing, because although they approached their review as a roast, it was comprehensive proof that someone read what I wrote and did contain useful advice.

I posted more on forums and worked on some original stories offline. I mostly wrote Pokémon fic and didn't get much engagement because I didn't participate in online communities. At the time, I could see that other fics were more popular, but even 1 comment was so amazing because it meant someone else had read my work! A small trickle of positive comments left me feeling happy about something I had created.

I wrote this fic called "Night-Torn Howl" and published on fanfiction.net. It was my first multi-chapter fic, and at the time the longest thing I'd written at almost 10k words. I was having a bad time, so it was very dark, what you would describe as "vent". It was about an Absol going through various trials. It had embedded poetry and songs. Mostly, people liked it! They said it was well-written, which was so kind. But one day I got my first properly negative comment. It was really personal and struck me to the core. It said that the fic was so depressing only someone really messed-up could have written it, that I needed help, and probably cut myself.

In their defense, everything they said was true. While you can write very dark, tragic fiction without being psychologically disturbed, unfortunately I happened to be dealing with several untreated psychiatric disorders in an unsupportive home environment. The thing is, I was 12 years old, so I was shockingly poorly equipped to handle this hate comment that seemed to perceive me more accurately than any of the real people in my life. I deleted the fic, abandoned the account, and didn't post any fanfiction for two years. I didn't even write offline for a while afterwards. I would start, and I'd think about the comment, which also said something along the lines of calling me a broken person, and I would shut down. I don't think I even talked to anyone about the comment until years later because it had shaken me up so much.

I got back to posting fic a few years later on a new account, after more exposure to bad online culture, AKA I used to lurk on the 4chan board /lit/ (literature) as a form of fucked-up exposure therapy, until I understood more about the way people talk hatefully online. My next critical comment was someone calling my fic pretentious and saying it was clearly "written by a first-year philosophy student" on Tumblr, which while obviously intended to be insulting was a huge ego boost to a 15 year old who had never studied philosophy and deeply loved being pretentious.

I posted more fics, including my most popular, a Supernatural fic with almost 900 kudos. I think it's cool that people like it, even if I find it embarrassing to look back on. Some of my fics got no engagement at all, but that was fine, they were fairly niche and personal.

Years later, I got my next hate comment. I wrote a Steven Universe fanfic and it pissed people off. But, the thing was, I wasn't a lonely kid who relied on approval from online strangers anymore, so it was funny instead of distressing. I added an endnote where I clarified that the fic was my take on canon, and that people can enjoy whatever they want because I was vaguely worried that some people who read the fic and commented hatefully felt like I was insulting them (I didn't want them to feel bad). This made the comments angrier, which was even funnier. I went back to check but it looks like they've been mostly deleted. I am vindicated.

You can see the difference in response to two hateful comments is based on life circumstances. In one instance, I got very unlucky, and it would be unfair to hold the commenter accountable for all the harm that was done because with the information they had available, they couldn't have known they were shitting on a 12 year old with no friends. Another person would have shrugged it off, even I would have shrugged it off 7 or so years later. But it's good to think about who you might be talking to, how old they are, etc., before posting.

Moving on, I finished my first full original novel at 21. It was queer new weird space opera with a cast of transgender characters. I tried a little half-heartedly to get an agent (I sent 12 emails one time, got 6 rejections and 6 silences), and then gave up and decided to post it online. The tone and subject matter make it difficult to publish traditionally, especially back then. And you know what? I got a comment! And while I wish a few more people would read this deeply personal novel (the count of people who've read it is currently 3), I think just this one comment left on the fic makes all 200k words worth it:

The impact of a single comment can be massive. Be kind, everyone!

[omegaremix]

25 Vinyl Records That Influenced My Vinyl Collecting Habits.

‘Top ten’ lists - they were so commonplace on social media before the pandemic that half of the people you knew participated in them. Your friends involuntarily posted lists of their top ten favorite albums, songs, movies, sports moments, video games, books, or whatever came to mind. Then they’d nominate you to do the same if you even cared. All of a sudden they stopped and for a few months everyone did tournament brackets. These days no one does either. Now, tag a band and see if they acknowledge you exist, solve a simple math problem where everyone with a Facebook diploma in mathematics are out to prove you wrong, or answer some useless questions to find out what your new gang initiation name is by removing your first and last letter and any surviving vowels.

But I don’t care about childish entry-level entertainment that everyone will forget about five minutes later. I’d watch Fox News for that. Longtime Ω+ followers know our ‘top tens’ are much more than that: they are playlists, mixtapes, end-of-year finds, and best-of decade results. That’s what I’m into. I’m into what’s important and that’s identifying with people. It’s not a contest or a be-all-end-all game of right-or-wrong. It’s all fully subjective. Without personal results, how special or unique would these lists be?

The last survey I was nominated to do was from WUSB’s Mister Edison, the station’s only cylinder aficionado in its’ 45-year history: top ten vinyl records that influenced your collecting habits. I did volunteer to do it and I was halfway there, then somehow along the way I deleted it. Now, here it is. But, instead of a top ten, we’ll do a top twenty-five because I’m compulsive and 10 is not a square number. All records shown here regardless of size, speed, color, or print run are those that have changed not only my record-collecting habits but also have shaped my musical tastes to an extent.

The record that started it all? KMFDM’s “Power” 12”. It was the very first vinyl record I bought with my own money, just mere months after purchasing most of its discography in one shot at my local record store. I ordered it from the TVT / Wax Trax mail order - my very first mail-order to be exact - numbered to 3,000 copies as a single-sided etched vinyl record in a clear plastic silk-screened jacket. That also came with Underworld’s “Rowla”. Shizuo’s High On Emotion e.p. was my third. Found at what was Port Jefferson’s Music Den, that’s a record I had to have at first sight because I knew it was extremely rare. Glad I made the right call because I never saw it again. Even though I didn’t have a turntable, I bought them anyway thinking I could hold on to them until I finally got my hands on one. Turned out my ma’ and dad had one: a wooden box smaller than the records it played. It literally had no sound and was deemed almost unplayable, so a close “friend” of mine gave me his father’s 1972 Panasonic and a copy of Autechre’s We Are R Y 12”. I was now in business.

From there, another one-time pressing of theirs, the “Keynell” e.p., introduced me to the panic of now-or-never buying. Booth & Brown collectors know how insanely rare their limited edition e.p.’s are and also how they and Warp divided up their Cichlisuite and Envane e.p.’s in two parts. And that was nothing to when Aphex Twin released not one, not two, but eleven e.p.’s as the Analord series through his Rephlex label. Ten regular platters and two versions of Analord 10: either you got the Aphex logo picture disc or, if you were really lucky (we mean that in a literal sense), one that came with the Analord binder which is fetching impossible prices right now. Some of them even came with the mythical Analogue Bubblebath 5. We’re just happy to have purchased all eleven editions for regular price when they first came out. Amazingly in that same year, I did my first-ever label run and purchased $300.00 worth of vinyl and disc releases from DHR.

The first hardcore record I got my hands on - Kill Your Idols’ This Is Just The Beginning - was also the very first music purchase I made at any show. Three years after one of my close friends introduced me to Sick Of It All and hardcore / punk in general, This Is Just The Beginning flung the doors wide open for crushing similar-styled tough-guy finds. Most Long Island record stores sold them when they came in, and places like Hicksville and Centereach’s Utopia (when they did sell them) offered many easy one / two / three-dollar bargain bin purchases of many 7” records, 45’s, and 12” LPS. The Howards & Checkerboard Charlie split is one example of that and one of many local acts I possess. Jemini The Gifted One’s “Funk Soul Sensation” is the only hip-hop record on the list. Ten years ago I re-discovered golden-era hip-hop and realized there was a treasure trove of white-label and 12” singles I never heard of from that time. Those hip-hop / rap singles can be found on the cheap in the same manner as those discount hardcore records. I’ll be on a life-time hunt for them as at this point I don’t have enough of them.

It’s no surprise to see that more than half of this list is made up of Seventies’ jazz / fusion records. If not for Lonnie Liston Smith & The Cosmic Echoes Astral Traveling, I would not have the size of vinyl library I have now. One of our former hip-hop dee-jays at the station played “Expansions”, “Aspirations”, and “Colors Of The Rainbow” and those three cuts literally changed my life. It opened up an avenue for me to re-discover who I was and revisit a certain era of time I missed out on. From that point on, it was all about that era’s sounds, sampling, and personal favorites. John Tropea’s A Short Trip To Space, Les McCann’s Music Lets Me Be, and Roy Ayers’ A Tear To A Smile - those three records define my final years at Stony Brook. Phil Upchurch’s 1979 solo outing, Stuff’s self-titled debut, Emily Remler’s Firefly, Steve Khan’s The Blue Man, Ramsey Lewis’ Tequila Mockingbird, Eric Gale’s Multiplication, and Ronnie Laws’ Pressure Sensitive tie me in and keep me connected to those years.

Karla Bonoff’s Restless Nights and Urbie Green’s The Fox influenced my collection in an amusing way. I had no idea who both artists were until I pulled them out of the bins. What had me purchase them? I bought Restless Nights and The Fox solely based on the year of release (1979 and 1976 respectively). One listen of each and I knew I made two right calls.

Remember when we posted our entry about our close friend Syke who rescued a pile of old records from being thrown out to the curb? Of the 500+ he found, he gave us 50 and we still have most of them. We selected Pete Shelley’s “Telephone Operator” as a reminder of that free giveaway.

I could list both volumes of the original Dirty Dancing motion picture soundtrack which my ma’ had, her only surviving childhood vinyl record of Disney’s Cinderella, or The Pac-Man Album 12″ picture disc written by Patrick McBride and Dana Walden. But those three mentions aren’t influential; just early Atari-youth memories. My first-ever childhood memories I still remember (not photographed) are also vinyl-related: J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold” and The Cars’ “Shake It Up”; the latter which I have in my possession and are the markers of all classic rock records I own around that era. (Think Dire Straits and Donald Fagan’s The Nightfly to name a few.)

Another Atari-youth moment I remember is The Chambers Brothers’ A New Time, A New Day. My dad cut out the album sleeve and used it as a paper holder in our garage. That very record made me think of whatever few platters I remember him having before he sold his entire vinyl library and our library of Atari 2600 games…for a paltry $50.00. “He needed the money” he told me; which is always a pathetic man’s answer to everything. Had he’d seen how enthusiastic I was into music collecting, he would’ve handed his entire collection to me. Roberta Flack’s Quiet Fire, Kiss’ Rock & Roll Over, and The Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers and Their Satanic Majesties Request were the four in his collection he parted with and I have three of them, not including The Chambers Brothers release. He tried to make it up to me, however, by bringing home two separate piles of records he rescued from the curb. One heap was full of polka records which I donated to WUSB’s resident polka lady before she died the same year. The other heap? Since you didn’t ask: loads of classic hippie rock records, showtunes, and celebrity albums. Jim Nabors on wax? Stop before I deactivate this account.

Finally, Boulders’ Rock & Roll Will Never Die. Look it up and you’ll see it’s a near total obscurity only confined to hipster circles who know what’s up. A five-track Wharf Records release picked up for less than $3.00 is the one 12" that may as well get me into the Discogs purchasing game for all rare releases (not found in stores) I’ve been looking for in the past seven years. I’ve played many of them on Omega WUSBand soon after bought a substantial chunk of their discographies in one shot (three Happy Meals / Free Love LP’s and three Black Marble discs, for example). As a nice side effect, it’ll be the the same for cassettes as well such as Believer/Law’s Matters Of Life And Death and JS Aurelius’ Machines Water The Plants Now - if the seller’s price is right, that is.

Notice how we went from KMFDM to Boulders? You can’t get any more disparate in styles and worlds between the two. The first purchases, public library finds, donations, record fairs, mail orders, samples, jazz-fusion and soul, hardcore and hip-hop buy-outs, record-store victory tours, and many other moments I might have missed…that’s 25 years of buying vinyl records spanning many different collecting eras and genres for me. That’s only one format, and also not counting acquiring music by other means such as radio and downloads which also shaped my collection. The bingo board jumble you see is only a tiny pinch of my musical tastes and not the whole story of my listening habits that’s usually broadcast on Omega WUSB or always posted here on Ω+.

After making this list, I’m reminded that I’m the most diverse person I know. I’m proud that my low-lying threshold for accepting and liking sound and concept allowed me to make that diversity into a science and have that mind-blowing knowledge I have of it. I’m as consistent, thorough, and far-reaching as I possibly can while hitting as many targets as possible. Would there be more bingo boards like this? Only if I make sure of it.

Phil Upchurch: self-titled

Lonnie Liston Smith: Astral Traveling

Karla Bonoff: Restless Nights

Steve Khan: The Blue Man

Chambers Brothers: A New Time, A New Day

Emily Remler: Firefly

Boulders: Rock And Roll Will Never Die

KMFDM: “Power”

John Tropea: A Short Trip To Space

Les McCann: Music Let’s Me Be

Shizuo: High On Emotion

J. Geils Band: “Centerfold”

Aphex Twin: Analord 10 picture disc

Jemini The Gifted One: “Funk Soul Sensation”

Roy Ayers: A Tear To A Smile

Ramsey Lewis: Tequila Mockingbird

Pete Shelley: “Telephone Operator”

Autechre: “Keynell”

Kill Your Idols: This Is Just The Beginning

The Cars: Shake It Up

Ronnie Laws: Pressure Sensitive

Stuff: Stuff

Eric Gale: Multiplication

Urbie Green: The Fox

Checkerboard Charlie b/w The Howards split

[opinated-user]

Lily has not deleted the post calling her sister a psycho. https://www.tumblr.com/lily-orchard/714827707851177984/bruh-you-shouldnt-be-calling-anyone-anything-when?source=share Courtney is also in contact with the youtuber trans girl therapist.

worse than that, anon. she went back only to add a death wish towards anon.

this was the original response.

this is the edited version. she adding the "random social media post calling me a pedophile" makes me believe that she puts this right after reading my own post where i clarified we don't have confirmation that the KF user was LO's sister... but we do know for sure that the facebook is from her. "random social media post" is not really what i'd describe the testimony of a potential victim talking about her own family. almost like LO didn't read that portion of my clarification or decided it was easier to pretend like there was no base for it either. this is not any person looking for some clout online, this was her actual real life sister merely writing on a Facebook that nobody would know about if KF haven't find it. LO's sister herself never did any effort to advertise her posts before. leaving one single comment on a Poppy&Zena video is hardly trying to stir the whole of internet for any scrap of attention she could get. why not write to any of us? why not make her own tumblr? why not get a hashtag trending on twitter? so why make those posts at all, if she had no hope that they'd be read by anyone but a handful of people if at all? so LO read my reaction to her post and her response wasn't "maybe i took it too far by making a child to be responsible for the actions of an actual pedophile who groomed them and abused them", but "how can i pretend that i was actually the victim of my underage sister and also dismiss the accusations while trying to appear above all?" which... worse than my post even suggested.

i don't know if LO's sister contacting a youtuber will result in anything... but i hope it does, because LO deserves backlash. if not for actually doing the things that her sister claims she did, for even thinking like this.

[ask-the-crimson-king]

On Writing, Art, and Creativity

Hello.

My apologies for this being another "behind the curtain" post written by the mysterious hermit who runs this blog, but I have some things I would like to articulate.

This post is more than likely going to be deleted within a day or so of it being up, but I'm going to write it regardless and maybe others will get something out of it.

This is going to be a bit of a reflection/maybe kind of a vent post in regards to my feelings on writing, art, and creativity in a space and environment that I frequent in my online spaces.

I will also preface and say I do not own any social media. I do not have a Twitter, nor an Instagram, nor a Facebook, nor a Bluesky, Mastodon, Pillowfort or whatever other platforms exist. The closest I have is a Discord and this blog, basically.

This will go under a readmore to prevent textwalling.

Hello and welcome to those who are curious enough to read my thoughts. Maybe we can have a discussion on this. Maybe people will tell me I'm being egotistical, I don't know.

It is no secret that I have struggled to maintain a will to be creative on this blog and my alternate. I find it difficult to even write a singular sentence or prolong a banter thread beyond four replies before I'm hitting "open in new tab" for it to hang in purgatory with the rest.

I have been taking time to reflect on why I am having such immense difficulties, and I've spoken about it with a few different humans.

I think I've finally nailed down what the issue is.

Engagement.

No, not likes or empty reblogs. Actual engagement with what I produce creatively. Comments beyond "nice job!".

Now I know; "hey, you only like things or leave empty reblogs too!" -- I am aware this is going to sound hypocritical, but hear me out for but a moment.

I do not create for me. I create for others. I create because I think that art is a conversation. It is a way for me to put things from my brain out there and for others to see a window into how I am. I create because I enjoy being able to express myself and engage with people while doing it. I do not create for clicks, I do not create for likes or notes, I create so that I can share something with others.

It takes a lot of effort for me to write something. It is genuinely something that feels Herculean to me. Writing this is lower stakes; this is not a creative piece, this is me putting my precise thoughts down into a written medium. This is me being analytical. That is second-nature to me.

But being creative, whether it be writing or even drawing, is a chore. It takes so, so much effort just to set up my tablet or open a new document. Writing a singular sentence takes an age. Rarely does it come easy. I am always nit-picking it; "this isn't catchy enough. This paragraph is too long; people aren't going to read it. This isn't splashy enough."

I have gotten to the point where I think I know how to get people to simply read what I have written, and even then, still no one reads my writings. In part this is due to my writings being a niche within a niche. I cling on to characters and concepts long since forgotten and abandoned by many, and thus there is no audience to engage with my work.

So I stop writing. I know that if I post anything over a thousand words, no one will actually read it. Most of my writings cap out at only two thousand words, with an exception being a piece I made that sits at almost five thousand that will go unpublished because no one is going to read it anyway.

Why put in so much effort if no one is going to engage with it?

I used to put in effort engaging with other people's art and writings more often. I'm trying to do it again, and I remember seeing so, so often people reblogging posts that said, "remember to reblog writing too!" and then no one does.

So I stop writing. No one reads it anyway, so what is the point in putting in the effort? Just so it can continue to be ignored?

My art gets only a few likes. Rarely more than five. I know it isn't great. AI generated pieces get hundreds of likes and reblogs that comments on how pretty it is, how gorgeous. This is not a post that is going to tell you to go back and find my art -- I do not keep tags on this blog, and genuinely my art is garbage enough that if I could find the old art posts and delete them, I would.

But then I see posts about supporting improving artists. I see people reblogging posts that say "support all forms of art", and then no one engages.

I have been trying to engage a bit more. I have been trying to leave nice comments in tags and the like, I have been trying to be more proactive in that regard again, because I know how great it feels to have that engagement as an artist. And I know I am not the only one for whom art is tortuous and arduous.

I know my biggest issue is that I write things that no one is interested in reading. I find myself occupying niche areas of interest that no one else is interested in. The only thing people want is kinky sex in their fics. People don't want to have philosophical and moral discussions in them. People don't want complicated things or fics that span more than 1200 words. I know this because I have written, or attempted to write, and post such things before. All go unread, forgotten, ignored.

It's ridiculous of me to whine and complain about fic of all things, but it is still an artform. It still takes effort. But why should I put in the effort if no one is going to even try reading it? Why should I even try, if only for someone to then turn around and tell me, "I prefer this person's writings to anyone else's currently present"?

I know my writing is not good. It is not of novel quality. Maybe I'm just an entitled old bastard. I don't know.

But it's hard being creative and trying to create art for an endless open void when you make art to make a connection.

I don't want your likes. I want your thoughts. I want your feelings. I want to know if what I have created has influenced you in any way.

I want a connection. It's why I even have an RP blog to begin with; writing collaboratively and telling a collaborative story is wonderful and amazing.

I don't know where else to go with this without being even more cyclical.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll post some more writings eventually.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #206

Do you like hot chocolate? Yeah, especially when made with milk.

Who was the last person to promise you something, and what was it? shrug

Who is someone you’ve made a bad first impression on? I dunno.

Who is your best guy friend? My boyfriend, but idk if he counts 'cuz like, of course he's my best friend.

Do you think walruses are cute? lol I do

Do you read cereal boxes while you’re eating? No.

What’s the last thing you accidentally (or purposely) burnt? Uhhh good question. I don't cook or anything, so...

Have you ever given birth? Nope, never plan to. Even in the wild world where I have a child, I'd almost certainly have a c-section. I cannot handle abdominal pain, it's the pain I tolerate the absolute worst. I also panic too much for labor to go even remotely well.

Do you enjoy making out? If I'm in the mood to.

What’s your favorite food to put ketchup on? Ummm probably chicken nuggets.

Do you know anyone who works in a laboratory? I might, but I'm not aware of this.

What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace.

Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) I can easily envision this and I hope it happens. But if it doesn't, I'll survive.

Do you have commitment issues? Not at all, this is an issue I've thankfully never dealt with.

Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Well, not planted by us, because on one side of the house, there's a line of azalea bushes that blooms yearly.

Does anyone in your family smoke? I know my dad and his wife do. Realistically, I'm sure there's more.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? Dinosaurs never existing. I try to be very tolerant of this sorta stuff, opinions that really don't matter, but no, you're just fucking ignorant if you say anything like fossils being a scam from Satan or whatthefuckever. My half-sister's husband is one of these people and he's a fuckin lunatic.

What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Hell if I know. Nothing pricey.

What are you scared to death of? Parasites, especially internal ones.

Where is your favorite place to go out to eat? The Cheesecake Factory.

What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? The future.

Does your job allow visible tattoos? I'm unemployed, and call it petty, but I wouldn't work anywhere that didn't allow tattoos. My job isn't keeping me from decorating my body in ways that make me enjoy my body more.

What Hogwarts House are you in? ew, the invention of a violent transphobe

Do you delete people from Facebook if their views are vastly different than yours? This depends on how verbal you are about it, really. I have no shame in this; if seeing your bullshit beliefs adds even a moment of "bleh" to my day, bye, I don't want to follow you. Social media is meant to be fun, and I've gotten much more serious about making my social media experiences truly enjoyable. That's what it's meant for. It's not meant to annoy me.

What are three things you have been a victim of? Poverty, I'm sure sexism at some point (what woman hasn't, let's be real), and fat-shaming.

What is your passion? Nature; wildlife and habitat conservation and education probably top the list. Also devillainizing reptiles and arachnids. Photography, of course, with nature being my favorite focus.

Are you dating someone? Yeah, he's the dopest.

Does your first crush know you liked them? He probably had an inkling.

Have you been bullied? I'm VERY grateful that I've never been properly bullied. Sure, I've had people be mean to me, but not chronically or anything.

Do you still cross paths with your first crush ever? No, I removed him from my Facebook for religious fanaticism/shaming non-believers. He got some royal shit for that post, but I didn't hang around to see it all.

Who are some of the most selfish people you have ever met? Colleen, somehow a former best friend, is easily the most selfish person I've ever met. She was so needlessly mean to people. One of her most unattractive traits was her "let me talk to the manager" tendency, like she was so rude to people who worked with the public, and for ZERO reason. Where I am now, I'm ashamed that I ever let my loneliness warrant our friendship, we were nothing alike, and never were.

Have you ever seen a spirit/ghost/shadowy figure, etc.? I've absolutely seen something that was not normal.

Do you have regrets? I do.

Do you have an ex-friend that you miss? There are multiple.

What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Pie.

How many people have you kissed? Four.

How many of those people are you still friends with? I'm dating one; he's the only one I'm still "friends" with.

Where did you go, the last time you left your house? I went to see my psychiatrist.

Who has the nicest singing voice, that you know personally? Girt.

Are you afraid to sing in front of people? Yes.

Do you enjoy the presence of children? Eh, sometimes. I have to be in the mood to deal with them. I never really enjoy the presence of random children I have no bond with.

Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Yeah, I've a number of trans friends.

What was the last necklace you wore? I think it was a silver one with a meerkat charm? I hate that I can't wear it all the time, I'm just allergic to the material; it turns my skin green and itchy.

What was the last carbonated drink you had? Mountain Dew.

Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister Tiffany that I've never met.

What was your favorite book you ever read for a school assignment? The Outsiders and The Handmaid's Tale.

Have you ever been in an abandoned house? Yes. My sister and our childhood neighbor used to play on the property; there was an almost entirely dilapidated shack where we spent most of our time, and then there was also two other buildings that more accurately resembled proper houses, but we were ballsy enough to only go into one, the smaller one that was more like a shed. It didn't have rooms, it was just a large square, and FULL of newspapers and other miscellaneous stuff. Eventually, after a streak of spending days there playing and exploring, a neighboring old lady eventually warned us to stay away because it wasn't safe, and we were never brave enough to go back lmao.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Yes, it's my sister's birthday and we're going out to dinner.

Do you like cucumber? As much as I can like a vegetable, lol. I love cucumbers with vinegar, though.

What’s the last sitcom you watched? Young Sheldon, probably.

What was the last thing you wrote down in the notes app on your phone? I wanna say a drawing idea. Or a gift idea for Girt.

Do you still have Facebook? If so, how often do you check it? Yeah, I check it daily.

How many times in your life have you been in love? Twice.

Do you like your name? I do, actually.

Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me.

Were either of your parents baptized? There is absolutely zero chance my mom wasn't (her mom was a raging Catholic), but I have no idea about my dad.

The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No, it was a pretty small gig. Nearly no one in eastern NC is going to a classic rock concert.

Has anyone killed one of your pets before? In my childhood, we had cats run over by cars, but I'm sure that wasn't intentional. I would at least hope not.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No.

Are any rooms in your house themed? No. I WANT to give my bedroom a nature theme, but it's a very slow process since I've had to buy new decor and we're poor.

When you are eating fast food, do you tend to get burgers or chicken? Usually burgers, sometimes chicken tenders. It depends on the restaurant; I have different go-tos depending on the location.

If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? *points at the "I'd rather be served rat poison than serve this country" meme*

Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? No. It'd be nice to go at least once, though, to see someone I enjoy. I like stand-up.

Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. Sadly, lol.

Who’s your favorite god from ancient history? I'm not sure, my mythology class was waaaaaaaay too long ago, lol.

What was the last present you received? Our family friend Tobey gave me a bag of Twinkies for Easter, lol.

Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Big no, I ain't fuckin with that kinda stuff.

When was the last time you climbed a tree? I've actually never done this. My childhood home only involved pine trees, and most trees in this area ARE pine trees, and you can't just climb those, the branches are far too high.

Are you cool with swimming in a lake? I was fine with it as a kid, but now as an adult that's aware of risks that come with that, I feel like it would depend on the lake and also how I felt at that moment.

Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? No. I've tried podcasts a few times, I just can't get into them.

Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? No.

Do you believe the Holocaust happened? Y'know, I don't consider myself the smartest, but I damn sure am intelligent enough to know the Holocaust was very real and should never, ever happen again. I had the absolute privilege to listen to a survivor's story in high school.

Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. I've done this only twice (once very against my will) and did not like it. The second time I had to suppress an anxiety attack.

Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No.

Do you like coconut flavored things? Very rarely. It can't be a high concentration.

Have you ever met a famous author before? No.

[TW: RAPE] Do you know anybody who has been raped before? Yes.

List all the stores you’ve been in this past month. I think just a dollar store. I ride with Mom when she picks up her Walmart orders, but we don't go in, it's brought out to us.

Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No.

Do you like sour candy? Yes, I love sour candy.

Do you like McDonalds? I feel like I'm the only adult that genuinely enjoys McD's lmao

Do you have a Steam account? I do.

What do you think of Fifty Shades of Grey? Never read the book, never seen the movie, completely disinterested in doing either.

Do you swear in front of children? No. I don't believe in "bad" words (save for things like racial slurs and stuff that were completely made to be hateful towards certain groups), but I also don't at all think it's a good idea to encourage children to throw around profanity willy-nilly. They're kids, they're not going to understand when and where it's just not appropriate.

Have you ever had an STD? No.

What do you hear right now? I'm having a paranormal investigation videos binge, I've been watching OVERNIGHT shit for days lol.

Have you ever been ice skating? No.

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? I consider it to be telling Jason no one could ever love him like I did. I DID genuinely believe this, I didn't INTEND it to be manipulative, but it absolutely, factually was, and I'm permanently humiliated that I ever did such a thing. I don't even like sharing it, it's disgusting.

Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No, but they sound very fun.

Ever performed on stage? Was it scary or amazing or both? Yeah, many times for dance recitals and competitions. It was really neither for me. I was always a bit nervous, sure, but I never performed alone and the anxiety wasn't overwhelming.

What was the last animal/pet that you met? Shadow, Girt's cat that has 1,000% become his child. He just showed up on his porch on a rainy day, and initially he didn't intend on keeping him, but he sure did and he's completely obsessed with him, it's adorable. Apparently Shadow is his first truly personal pet, and it shows.