#Allen Frances is shit post
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When anti endos and pro endos have a mutual enemy
🫶
Good thing you'll never get the chance, Frances, go away already, how are you still alive at your age with such a bad attitude
#anti endo#pro endo#shit Allen Frances says#syspunk loves endos more than Frances#syscourse#not syscourse#Allen Frances is shit post#plural#plurality#multiplicity#multiple#system safe#I'd fight Frances for an endo#did#osdd#osddid
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Thank you so so much for the ask @fern-foxx, I would love nothing more than to info dump <3.
PREPARE FOR 6130 WORDS THAT WILL MAKE YOU REGRET EVER ASKING ME TO DO THIS!
First things first, I have spent the last 4 hours formatting a response to your ask, only for tumblr to turn around and shit itself, and not let me post it. So I am restarting and trying it in the form of a proper post.
I think I had too many photos and links. So have put all my links in a linktree for your and tumblr's convenience (otherwise this post couldn't happen). Will just do a number coding system.
I have only gotten into figure skating recently. It started when some friends got me to watch Yuri on Ice and it's all been downhill since then.
The competition series I've been watching is the Grand Prix. This is on from October to December and is an elite level competition.
There are 2 programs that each skater competes, and I will go more in-depth later. But basically, there is the short program which is first - this is 2:40 +/- 10sec and the free program which is 4:00 +/- 10sec.
There are 6 qualifying events across the world, and skaters will be assigned either 1 or 2 competitions depending on how well they did at World's in March as well as some other criteria.
The competitions and when/where they were held this year:
Skate America - Oct 18-20 (Allen, TX)
Skate Canada - Oct 25-27 (Halifax, NS)
Grand Prix de France - Nov 1-3 (Angers)
NHK Trophy - Nov 8 -10 (Tokyo)
Finlandia Trophy - Nov 15-17 (Helsinki)
Cup of China - Nov 22-24 (Chonqing)
These are held in the same country every year (in 2022 Finlandia replaced the Rostelecom Cup in Russia for obvious reasons). The Junior Grand Prix has 7 qualifying competitions held between August and October and the locations of these change every year.
And then there’s the final:
Grand Prix Final - Dec 5th-8th (Grenoble, France)
The final is held in a different location each year and hosts both the seniors and juniors.
There are 12 skaters in each competition, and they'll get points based of how they place. At the end of the 6 competitions, the top 6 with the most points will go to the final.
The points:
1st - 15pts 2nd - 13pts 3rd - 11pts and so on... until 7th which is 4pts and 8th - 3pts.
There are various tie brakers in place, the first 2 are highest placement and if that ties -> highest total score (the list really keeps on going there are so many in the event all the tie brakers are tied).
Okay, now you understand how the Grand Prix works, we can go a little more in depth.
The Assignments
I said that these are based off of their placements in World's of the last season. The top 12 are guaranteed 2 assignments, the top 6 of these are called "seeded skaters." These are carefully assigned so that #1, #2, and #3 don't face each other at an assignment, and #4, #5, and #6 don't face each other. You can imagine that it would be unfair to have all the top skaters at 1 competition.
I made this helpful table to show who the top 6 at World's were in the men’s category:
The first number was their total score, second their short program, 3rd their free program, and then it has their 2 assignments. Shoma Uno placed 4th but retired that season so it bumped everyone up and the free spot went to Deniss Vasilijev. I won't share my women's table cause it is a total mess with several dropping out last minute.
The top 24 on the ISU (International Skating Union) world standings and season's best list also get 1 spot. Once all of those spots are filled, there is this sketchy ‘Host Pick’ rule. The host country of a competition gets to pick 3 of its own skaters to be at its competition. This could be giving someone with 1 slot an extra assignment or giving it to a local skater to draw in crowds. But the thing is, host picks don't have to meet the minimum score requirement?!?!? More on that later...
Other things that will put you in the pool for assignment consideration - are if you medal at the junior grand prix and are moving into the senior division. Or if you are a previous seeded skater who didn't participate in the last season due to heath/injury. After that, they look at the top 75 season's best list who meet that minimum score requirement.
The minimum score requirement is different for every division and changes every year. It is calculated by taking ⅗ of top score at the previous World's. In my table you can see that Ilia Malinin won with a total score of 333.76, so the minimum score for men in the 2024 Grand Prix is 200.26. (This year it was 133.77 for women). This minimum score also must have been achieved at an official ISU event (world championships, grand prix series, challenger series).
It is also worth noting that there is a limit of 3 skaters representing the same country at an assignment. Though there can be more than 3 if they make it to the final. See this year's final being 5 Japanese Women + Amber Glenn from the USA.
Now I want to tell you about the program requirements (for single, senior skating).
The Short Program
duration: 2:40 +/- 10 seconds
jump elements: 3
spin sequences: 3
1 step sequence
Both men and women must perform a double or triple axel, and a jump combination with 2 jumps. In addition to this, men must perform any triple or quadruple solo jump, and women any triple. The solo jump has to be different from the ones in combination. Because of their body shape, men can generally make more rotations in jumps than women, barely any senior women do quads after their body changes.
Both men and women must do 1 spin with a flying entry (any position), 1 combination spin with at least 2 different types of spins (camel, sit or layback). For the 3rd spin - spin in one position, men do either a camel or sit spin with 1 change of foot, and women can do any position but no change of foot. The position has to be different from their flying spin. As for rotations, for it to count you need a minimum of 8 rotations if you are not changing your spinning foot, and 6 if you are doing a change of foot.
The step sequence is a showcase of difficult steps and turns across a large surface of the ice, usually lasts at least 30 seconds.
Spins and step sequences get a level between 1 and 4 based off how complex and well executed they are. With 4 being the best and the standard for high level competitors.
The Free Skate
duration: 4:00 +/- 10 seconds
jump elements: 7
spin sequences: 3
1 step sequence
1 choreograph sequence
Both men and women must do 1 axel at any point. There is a maximum of 3 jump combinations allowed, with 4 other solo jumps. Most of them will do a jump sequence, which is when the second or third jump in a combination is an axel. Only 1 combination is allowed to have 3 jumps, the rest can only have 2.
Only 2 triples or quads can be repeated twice, of that, you can only repeat 1 quad (but can repeat 2 triples). This is to stop people from just doing their most high scoring jump over and over, this rule is colloquially known as the Zayaking rule. Elaine Zayak did 4 triple toe loops at World's in 1982 and it was changed after then.
As for spins, for both men and women it's 1 spin combo, 1 spin with flying entry, 1 spin with only one position. Change of foot and flying entry are optional extras for all spins, there are no restrictions like with the short program. 6 rotations must be achieved in the fly spin and spin in one position, and 10 rotations in the combination.
Step sequence same as above.
The choreograph sequence needs at least 2 artistic skating movements such as the spiral, spread eagle, or my personal favourite - The INA BAUER.
The Ina Bauer
Amber Glenn (USA) Cup of China free skate 2024, my gif
You can see the blades are parallel, the leading foot faces where you're going, and the knee is bent. The other leg is straight out behind you, slightly staggered. Most of your weight is on the front foot, and it requires really good turnout in your hips. It is named after Ina Bauer (b.1941 d.2014) a German skater who invented it. Did you know that this Friday the 13th is the 10 year anniversary of her death? Catch me at the rink doing as many Ina Bauers possible. Anyways, there are 3 different types of Ina Bauer, the easiest being inside Ina Bauer meaning you are on the inside edge of your blade and go in a circle like this:
^ This is my very beginner level Ina Bauer, I don't quite have the strength/balance/flexibility to move up the Ina Bauer food chain yet, but I have only been skating for a few months and will master it one day.
There's also an Ina Bauer on a straight line. Then there’s the hardest which is on the outside edge, this is a very good example:
Cha Jun-hwan (KOR) 2023 ISU World Team Trophy free skate (1)
See his Ina Bauer goes along the outside of an invisible circle, and mine faces inside? And a straight Ina Bauer is just a straight Ina Bauer, like the one Amber Glenn is doing in that first gif. You don't have to do it in a layback position, you can just have a straight back for it to count. It's not about back flexibility but rather hip flexibility. RAAAAGH INA BAUERS, I live for them.
One of my favourite moments from this year's Grand Prix is when Kevin Aymoz of France does an Ina Bauer into a triple axel in his free program!!!! How cool is that?!?!
Kevin Aymoz (FRA) Grand Prix Final 2024 free skate, my gif
Skaters get more points on jumps if they include a difficult entry/exit, so this boosted his grade of execution (more on that later!) It's also a good example of an Ina Bauer with the straight back. Kevin Aymoz is one of my favourite skaters, he's a bit of a gay icon.
Now I will tell you about...
JUMPS
There are 6 types of jumps you'll see in professional skating. Most of them will be triples, except for the women's axels where doubles are more common. Men will do some quad jumps but very few will do the harder ones like the flip, lutz, and axel. Then there's Ilia Malinin of the USA who can do all the quads and make it look effortless. There’s also the occasional double as the second/third jump in combination or as a solo jump if something has gone really wrong. (Solo doubles aren't even allowed in a senior short program)
All jumps look the same in the air, and land on the same foot backwards with an outside edge. What makes them different is the way you take off. There are toe jumps that use the toe picks, and edge jumps which use your edges.
Diagram (2)
You can see that the figure skating blade is not flat but rather curved in a sort of arch shape. If you are leaning inwards, you'll be on your inside edge and outwards on your outside edge. The toe pick be spiky so you can stab it into the ice to launch you far and into the air. Consequently, if you lean too far forward on your skates you can trip over your toe pick and fling forward (I have done this many a time). You are also supposed to land on the bottom part of your toe pick and then place your foot down. But if you land too far forward on your toe pick you also fly forward (I couldn't walk after I fell like this on Saturday lmao).
Most skaters will jump and spin anticlockwise, so the following information applies to them. But for the few that go clockwise, reverse the lefts and rights.
The 6 jumps, separated by type are -
Toe jumps:
Toe Loop (T): Right outside take off. Entered from turn. Left leg extends back, toe pick strikes ice.
Flip (F): Left inside take off. Entered from turn. Right leg extends back, toe pick strikes ice.
Lutz (Lz): Left outside take off. Entered from a long straight 1 foot glide. Right leg extends back, toe pick strikes ice.
Edge jumps:
Salchow (S): Left inside take off. Entered from turn. Legs sweep to form / \ shape.
Loop (Lo): Right outside take off. Left leg crosses over right, X shape.
Axel (A): Left outside take off. Only jump that takes off forward. Entered from back outside edge, left leg steps forward, right legs swings through to launch you.
For counterclockwise jumpers, all jumps land on a back right outside edge. Which means for jump combinations (where your landing edge has to be your take off edge) there are only 2 jumps that can be used as the second/third in combination. These being the toe loop and loop because they take off from that right outside edge.
This is unless a Euler jump is performed. This is a single jump used in combination to connect 2 jumps as it will take you from the right outside edge to the left. Interestingly, from the 2026-27 season onwards, Eulers will no longer be allowed in the short program, only the free. They will also no longer count as a listed jump nor add any base value to jumps (currently worth 0.5).
I've mentioned jump sequences in the free program requirements, but to expand on them. They are when your take off edge is different from your landing edge. I.e a small step is done so long as it doesn't disrupt the flow. Though since the 2018-19 season, only axel jumps are allowed as the second/third in a sequence. Also prior to 2022-23 sequences would only get 80% of the total base value for the jumps, but now it's full value.
It was also only in the 2018-19 season when the number of jump elements in a men's free skate went down from 8 to 7 (women's was already 7), and from 2026-27 onwards both disciplines will be going down to 6. That same season in 2018-19 the men's free skate went down from 4½ minutes to 4.
I should have mentioned this before, but figure skating seasons are from the 1st of July to the 30th of June so they span 2 years (not really, but that’s why I am using '2018-19' etc). The season starts with the Junior Grand Prix qualifiers in August - October, then the senior Grand Prix qualifiers in October - November with the final in December. December to January is when most countries hold their nationals. January is also the European championship. February has the 4 Continents (which is everyone BUT Europe), and March is the World Championships. When the Olympics are on in Februarys the 4 Continents are moved to January.
There's also The Challenger Series which is a step below Grand Prix. These competitions are required to take place between August 1st and December 15th. There are several competitions worldwide, but they don’t have a final. Sometimes Grand Prix skaters will compete in them to boost their rankings as they count towards the season's best list and can be where you get your ISU minimum score requirement that we talked about earlier.
Redirecting this back to jumps, here is a table of base values. You can see them ordered from lowest to highest to give you a sense of what’s easier vs harder.
Speaking of base values, I think it's about time I introduced you to...
The ISU Judging System
Now this can be EXTREMELY confusing at first, but in time it will make sense, and I hope I explain it well enough.
Both the short and free scores are broken into 2 sections. You have your Technical Score (TES) and your Program Component Score (PCS).
Technical Score - every element you perform has a base value (BV) that is added to your score. This is the easy part. Now where it gets complicated is with the Grade of Execution (GOE). Each judge (there's usually 7 - 9 in big comps) assigns a number between -5 and 5 based off how well it is executed.
Now bear with me here...
The highest and lowest GOEs from the judges are discarded, and the rest are averaged. The GOE average is then multiplied by 10% of the BV. This is your final GOE for a skill, this number is then added to the original BV to give a final FINAL score for a skill.
EXAMPLE:
The quad lutz had a base value of 11.5.
The 1 and 3 are discarded. (Highest and lowest)
(2+2+3+2+2+2+2) /7 = 2.14 - the average GOE
11.5 x 0.1 = 1.15 - 10% of the BV
2.14 x 1.15 = 2.46 - total GOE
11.5 + 2.46 = 13.96 - final skill score
Personally, I love how much maths is involved!! It's fun to just calculate these things even if the score sheets give you the final skill score anyways. It is really exciting once you understand how all of this works!! (yes, I am autistic if you haven't guessed already)
I would also like to note, that the current +/- 5 GOE system used to be +/- 3 but was changed in the 2018-19 season to make improper technique and falls have a bigger impact on scores.
Now the program component score (PCS). There are 3 categories: Composition, Presentation, and Skating Skills. A brief definition of all of them: Composition is the connection of your skills, use of the ice, and understanding of how the music relates to your program.
The standout example of this that I have to show you is from Kaori Sakamoto's free skate, I just LOVE how her jump take offs are on beat to the music!
Kaori Sakamoto (JPN) Grand Prix Final 2024 free skate
She actually got the highest PCS score out of the women in the Grand Prix Final!! It's easy to see why.
Presentation is engagement and expression with your music, and I guess general prettiness? Skating Skills is "a good range of steps, turns, and movements with blade and body control" tbh, I don't have a good understanding of what these look like, I guess it’s just vibe based. This is like an artistry score. It is just as important to have graceful skating that tells a story, as it is to have good technical abilities. The judging system and jump base values are always changing to try and balance this, and there a few systems in place to make this possible too.
Before 2022-23 there were actually 5 PCS categories, the 2 they got rid of were transitions – “intricate footwork, positions and movements that link all elements”, and interpretation (of the music) which I don’t fully understand, how many categories do you need in order to judge if a skater understands the music lol. This also meant that the factors increased in 2022-23 as they axed 2 categories.
So, for each of the 3 PCS categories, the judges assign a number between 0.25 and 10, and it goes up in increments of 0.25. Just like with the GOE, the highest and lowest numbers are discarded, and the rest are averaged. These averages are then added together and multiplied by a factor.
This factor is different for every discipline, because it is supposed to be as equal to the TES as possible. The women's factor is lower than the men's because they generally have a lower TES. And the short program is lower than the free skate because there are less technical elements.
The factors are as follows:
Mens Short Program: 1.67
Mens Free Program: 3.33
Women's Short Program: 1.33
Women's Free Program: 2.67
(the factors for pairs are the same as women's)
Let's look at Kaori Sakamoto's GPF free skate as an example, specifically her composition score:
The 8 and 9.5 are discarded, and the average is rounded to 2 decimal places equaling 8.93. This process repeats for the other 2 categories. These numbers are then added together (8.93 + 8.82 + 8.86 = 26.61) and multiplied by the factor. In this case, the women's FP is 2.67, so 26.61 x 2.67 = 71.05.
The maximum PCS possible:
Men’s short program: 50.00
Men’s free skate: 100.00
Women’s short program: 40.00
Women’s free skate: 80.00
Hopefully now you have a better understanding of how the judging system works! There is a little more to it, I will go into more into detail now. If you look at the detailed results from a competition you may see various symbols/letters next to skills. I will tell you what they mean and what they do to a score:
q - Jumps landed a quarter rotation short, doesn't affect base value, but will give you a negative GOE. The 'q' was introduced during the 2020-21 season.
< - Jumps landed between ¼-½ rotations short. Results in only getting 80% of the BV.
<< - Jumps landed more than ½ short a rotation. The jump will get downgraded. A 3Lz with a << will only get the BV of a 2LZ.
e - Edge call on a flip or Lutz. Remember how the flip takes off from an inside edge and the lutz an outside edge? Well, if you do it from the wrong edge, you will get an edge call and only 80% of the BV.
! - Edge warning. This means there was an unclear edge take off on a flip or lutz. There is no reduced BV, but the GOE will be less than 0.
V - For a spin that does not meet requirements, like a lack of rotations or variation in position. 75% of BV.
F - A fall. -5 GOE. There is also a -1 deduction for your first and second fall, a -2 for third and fourth, and -3 for 5th fall onwards.
+REP - Used if you do more than the allowed 3 combinations or 2 combinations + 1 sequence in the free program. The first jump will get 70% BV and everything after that doesn't count. It is also used for repeated single jumps; they'll also get 70% of BV.
+COMBO - You will see this in the middle of a combination. It happens when the skater steps out after landing a jump and still takes off for the next jump. Remember the point of a jump combo is to take off from the same edge you land on. This results in the following jump having no value.
* - Invalid element, skater receives 0 points. This is for any element that breaks a rule. Like a single or double solo jump in the SP, an extra jump element done (only 3 in SP and 7 in FS allowed), repeating a certain triple/quad jump in the FS more than twice, if there is no axel done, the last jumping pass will be invalid too. Also used alongside +REP to invalidate extra jumps in combinations. Before 2016-17, an invalid jump in a combination would invalidate the entire combination. And from 2026-27 onwards, the same type of jump can't be included in the FS regardless of rotations (currently more than 3 of the same jump can be included if you do 3 triples and a double for example).
x - This is the only good symbol! It is placed after the last jump element in the SP or the last 3 jump element in the FS (provided they are in the second half of the program). It adds an extra 10% to the BV of your jumps. As the program goes on skaters will get more tired so are rewarded for doing difficult stuff at the end. Consequently, this system was heavily abused until a rule change in the 2018-19 season. It used to be that all jumps in the second half would get the extra 10%. You can then imagine people would just stack their programs to have all the jumps in the second half. This was then changed to better balance program composition.
There are also other deductions besides falls. It's -1 for every second up to 5 that your program goes overtime. -1 for costume parts falling on the ice, -1 for costumes that don't meet requirements, -1 if you take more than 30 seconds to get into your starting position after your name is called, -2 for illegal moves (back flips were recently legalised, if you want to watch programs with back flips, I recommend Adam Siao Him Fa of France).
If you do want to watch figure skating, I will quickly explain what the thing in the top left corner is. It's relatively straight forward
The squares at the top represent the 12 elements that make up the free skate (short program will have 7 squares). The green means they successfully performed an element, the red means they performed it, but it got a negative GOE. Now you also know what it takes to get a negative GOE thanks to the information above ;)! If there is a dark grey, it means it’s under review still (?). This bar will fill up as they go through the program.
It will tell you the most recent element performed, as well as the BV for it, and their GOE. This is the GOE after that multiplying the average by 10% BV nonsense. Under this you'll see the skaters TES go up throughout the program, and underneath it is the leader's TES.
AND THAT CONCLUDES THE ISU JUDGING SYSTEM, THAT WAS A LOT BUT HOPEFULLY YOU GET IT NOW!
I will also share with you a helpful table I made in preparation for watching the Gran Prix Final. It has the finalists with their assignments, how they placed with qualifying points, and their total score earned in both assignments. As well as their personal bests and age. Interestingly, the men and women have the EXACT same average age of 21⅔. Which is super interesting cause usually the women tend to be younger than the men. Though this year the minimum age for the senior division was upped to 17. Last year it was 16 and before that it was 15 for quite a while. This was to protect minors more because of how intense it got with doping etc. I think it's a great change because I don't want to see tiny children when watching seniors, its also unfair cause the younger women can go hard out and learn quads before their body changes which is dangerous.
Adam Sia Him Fa qualified in 4th but had to drop out because of injury, Mikhail Shaidorov was 7th so he got moved up to replace Adam.
I really love looking up the skater's profiles on the ISU website, because some of them have the most insane listed hobbies. Check out Camden Pulkinen. Emo ass king.
Now I want to tell you about some of my favourite skaters!
Kevin Aymoz - France
Kevin Aymoz (FRA) Grand Prix Final 2024 gala exhibition, my gif
I have talked about him before. I love how dramatic his programs are, they have a lot of flair and camp energy. He was at Skate America and Finlandia Trophy and made it to the final! Unfortunately, he fell a few times and came last. He did get bronze at the 2019 GPF though! Did you know in 2021 he was in a French documentary called Faut qu'on Parle (we need to talk). It's about 6 elite athletes who come out for the first time and share their experiences of being queer. One of his listed hobbies is "catching pokémon" okay icon.
Amber Glenn - USA
Amber Glenn (USA) Grand Prix de France 2024 gala exhibition, gif credit below
LOOK AND HOW GORGEOUS AND HOT SHE IS. First off, SHE WON THE GPF CAUSE SHE'S SO AMAZING. Her assignments were Grand Prix de France, and Cup of China. Amber is a mental health advocate who is also queer and has ADHD, I love her so much. At the end of competitions, they will sometimes hold a gala exhibition. This is a showcase that some of the competition skaters partake in. It's a chance for them to do whatever program they want without the pressure of being judged - it's truly just for fun! Amber’s gala this year was to HOTOGO! Would definitely recommend checking it out. Here are some gif sets of it here on tumblr (3 4 5). Her hobbies are Magic the Gathering, anime, and cosplay. (It's funny cause when a skater lists anime as a hobby, you just knowwww they've seen Yuri on Ice. In this case, Amber worked with the creative team on the movie before it was cancelled). She was also the second American woman to land a triple axel at World's, the first ofc being Tonya Harding. Amber is a little bit of a legend, at age 25 she's kind of come out of nowhere and is starting to skate really well consistently. It was so cute when she found out she won the GPF. There's a camera where they can see the other skaters in the back, and the Japanese women did her FS finishing pose. It was such a sweet moment of amazing sportsmanship between these women. I will put a link to the clip posted on reddit here (6).
Matteo Rizzo – Italy
Matteo Rizzo (ITA) NHK Trophy 2024, my gif
Assigned - NHK, and Cup of China. He's just a silly guy. For starters, his SP music is a song called "Two Men in Love" an extremely gay love song. But then his FS music is.... "Fix You" by Coldplay? It's the contrast that I find so funny. His hobbies are Formula 1 and "airplanes" I too love planes. All of these things combined made him stand out to me as a bit of an icon. He also kind of looks like Christophe Giacometti from YOI, he's got the eyelashes for it. The gif is from the kiss and cry after his skate when he did this super funny gesture that absolutely sent me. What can I say, the man loves cars.
Jason Brown - USA
Jason Brown (USA) NHK Trophy 2024 short program, my gif
Skate Canada and NHK. Did you know that he came out as gay on Dan's birthday in 2021? My friends and I joked that Brown was fitting name cause he was dressed like a shit for his SP in that gif. I call him JJ if he slayed, cause his energy and mannerisms + the way he addresses the audience reminds me JJ from YOI but if he were gay. Also has a super camp gala exhibition, and won the junior GPF in 2011.
I love the galas that have a gimmick. Like Mikhail Shaidorov who did a Kung Fu Panda one in a giant panda suit. He somehow managed to land a triple toe loop in that costume too! Mikhail is a really good jumper. This season he made history by becoming the first skater to land a quad as the second jump in combination with his 3A + 4T!!!
Mikhail Shaidorov (KAZ) Grand Prix Final 2024 exhibition gala (7)
He also has assistants come out in his gala and for the Grand Prix de France, Amber was one of them!
Amber and Mikhail Grand Prix de France 2024 exhibition gala (8)
Where you can watch the ISU stuff will depend on your country. I can watch it all for free on the ISU Skating youtube channel since I am in New Zealand and no other broadcaster covers it. The youtube videos are geo blocked in countries that have networks with a monopoly over the rights.
If you are also a fan of Yuri on Ice, I have some cosplay content recommendations too (if not, just skip this). I have fallen IN LOVE with these 2 particular cosplayers (Vehn and Svatti - yt channel: Weeb Chapel) who had a YOI skit series, here is the playlist on youtube (9). Svatti who plays Yuri also does a hilarious Chris which you can see in their Kiss Marry Kill in Character (10).
Cosplayer Svatti as Christophe Giacometti in "Yuri!!! on Ice KISS MARRY K-WORD!" youtube link in linktree, my gif
Svatti's Chris is also in the background as a voice in the Viktor and Yuri Google Questions Interview (11). Now I don't usually consume Otayuri content cause I find their age gap weird, but they have a gorgeous Otayuri CMV (cosplay music video) that I keep on watching (12). I have also started just watching all their other cosplay content. YOI is the only anime I've seen, but I really just love Svatti and Vehn (former username Mishkali) so much I'll watch anything with them. They are so attractive, and my gender envy is off the charts with everything they do, and Vehn’s Victor drives me fucking crazy in the best ways possible THE ACCENTTT. If you know of them or watch it and want to chat HIT ME UP!
My favourite CMV however is this one (13) by Rintamasuunta. The production BLOWS MY MIND DUDE. Even if you haven't seen YOI you should still watch it. The sets, costumes, choreography, ah too good. One of them is even an actual skater and you get to see them do parts of the routines in costume! I keep rewatching it time and time again.
One last Yuri on Ice thing - Joel Minas on youtube has recreated some of the programs in full. It is just so impressive to see them bought to life. Here is his playlist (14)
And there we have it folks!! There's a lot more that I could have included, I have so many more thoughts. I'm sure y'all are familiar with the feeling of being in the trenches of a hyper-fixation. You ask for an info dump; you get an info landfill that took a couple days and many MANY hours to assemble (WORTH IT!). I may or may not have taken it a bit too literally when you asked to hear what I've learnt so far WELL HERE IS EVERYTHING. Are you regretting your life choices yet? If you or anyone else has any questions or wants to discuss figure skating, CONTACT ME PLEASE I LOVE TO YAP (evidently)!!! Also, if you have managed to read all of this you are insane, and I love you.
I still spend most of my days thinking about skating. I am at the rink 2-3 times a week and have started lessons. I hope to get really good at it someday. Researching competitive figure skating is so so so fun! I just love learning about the all the rules/the technical side. I have so many pages of notes. Finally, I will link some resources I found helpful if you want to do some further reading.
They’ll be in the linktree (sorry it had to be like this, tumblr just couldn’t take it) https://linktr.ee/pissterdaniel
Resources
15 Brilliant youtube video that breaks down the 6 jumps with examples to help you identify them
16 The soyouwanttowatchfs website has a lot of guides for people getting into figure skating
17 ISU Technical Panel Handbook 2024-25
18 ISU Technical Rule Book 2024 (160 pages of goodness)
19 Table of base values (a couple of seasons old as still has 5 PCS categories listed, but should (?) still be valid, it has +/- 5 GOE so is after 2018 but before 2022. I feel like one of those people who works out the date a globe is from, which honestly, I’d be into because I love geography (it’s the darn autism again isn’t it)).
20 Extremely detailed table of base values 2024
21 Short program outline
22 Free skate outline
23 The ISU website in general, good for detailed scores and skater profiles
Lmk if there are any issues with the links OR IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS, I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE CONTACT ME
Okay that is it, I just want to get this out there now, getting this from my word document to a successful tumblr post has taken 7 hours dear lord.
Hope this is a sufficient info dump @fern-foxx, it’s 6130 words. Thank you for your ask xxx
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@thatonewannabegirl
No worries! I'm just glad you clarified so I can make this post!
Also thank you! I'm not getting better I'm on my second course of antibiotics this year. But they seem to be working now!
Anyway here's the tsundere stuff!
2p allies
2p America/Allen Jones
He tries his hardest to pretend he doesn't like you, which usually ends up with him looking like a complete idiot
2p China/Zao Wang
He's the type to act like he really does hate you. He thinks that if he does this he can control you and he does not realise he likes you
2p England/Oliver Kirkland
He acts very tsundere towards you and then gets super depressed when you don't respond with unlimited devotion towards him.
2p France/François Bonnefoy
He's a slightly abusive tsundere, he only does this to try and keep you away from him. And he also acts like he does not give a single shit about you
2p Russia/Viktor Braginsky
He is the one who usually ignores you and treats you like a pest, he keeps you around tho, he's not overly tsundere in the way he acts around you or others, but he keeps you around a little too much to it being believable that he hates you
2p axis
2p Germany/Lutz Beilschmidt
Oh he is the type who absolutely denies everything and he tries so hard he ends up looking stupid as fuck
2p Italy/Luciano Vargas
Will be a very mean tsundere who has to be pressured into telling his true feelings, which will most likely be a argument! Because that's how he functions. Angry little bastard
2p Japan/Kuro Honda
He is a tsundere who acts cold and uninterested in you and it makes it seem like he actually hates you. But he will straight up torture you because he doesn't understand his feelings and thinks that is the best way to deal with it :D
#hetalia#hetalia headcanons#2p hetalia#2p hetalia headcanons#aph hetalia#tsundere hetalia#tsundere#2p America#2p china#2p England#2p France#2p Russia#2p Germany#2p Italy#2p japan#violence mention tw
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Discontinued Fandoms Masterlist
This is a compilation of all the works we’ve posted for fandoms we no longer write for. The writing itself will always be kept here for you to enjoy!
Check our main masterlist here!
American Horror Story
Imagines:
Cordelia Foxx | Imagine becoming the new Supreme
Big Bang Theory
One Shots:
Sheldon Cooper | Prove the Theory
Headcanons:
Sheldon and Leonard | Sheldon’s little sister sharing the apartment
Black Sails
Imagines:
Charles Vane | Imagine Charles Vane promising you a future by his side
The Breakfast Club
Imagines:
John Bender | Imagine Bender helping you find the library for detention
DC Universe
One Shot:
Hal Jordan | Get Your Own Jello
Deadpool
Preferences:
How they cuddle | Part 2
Divergent
Imagines:
Will | Imagine Will teaching you martial arts
Doctor Who
Imagines:
10th Doctor | Imagine being with the 10th Doctor in Paris
12th Doctor | Imagine being in a band with the 12th Doctor
Downton Abbey
One Shots:
Thomas Barrow | Such A Charmer
The Flash
Headcanons:
Barry Allen | Dating Barry would include
Friends
Imagines:
Joey Tribbiani | Imagine having a crush on Joey
Headcanons:
All | Having a night out with the group would include
Glee
Imagines:
Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman | Imagine Puck getting jealous over you
Grey’s Anatomy
One Shots:
George O’ Malley | 007
Owen Hunt | Major Owen Hunt | My Choice
Hairspray
Imagines:
Corny Collins | Imagine Corny telling you “Hey baby, looks like you could use a stiff one.”
Hawaii 5-0
One Shots:
Chin Ho Kelly | Mistakes
Danno Williams | Save Me
Hemlock Grove
Imagines:
Roman Godfrey | Imagine Roman missing your hints that he’s an upir
KINGSMAN MASTERLIST
LOST
Imagines:
James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not wanting to give your bag back James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not realising he’s stolen your medication James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine having your first time with Sawyer James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer noticing that Jack is your ex
Kate Austen | Imagine Kate comforting you when you lose a precious necklace
Sayid Jarrah | Imagine falling asleep on Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine being selectively mute and only speaking to Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid saving you Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid scaring you when he turns ‘bad’ Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding a pool with Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding out Sayid is touch-starved
Shannon Rutherford | Imagine lending Shannon your inhaler
One Shots:
James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Sandbox | Part 2
Preferences:
First Kiss
Night At The Museum
Imagines:
Kahmunrah | Imagine Kahmunrah falling in love with you
The Maze Runner
Imagines:
Gally | Imagine Gally falling in love with you Gally | Imagine trying to come up with a plan to be with Gally
NCIS
Imagines:
Leroy Jethro Gibbs | Imagine Gibbs reluctantly cuddling with you
One Shots:
Leroy Jethro Gibbs | His Closest Friend
Park And Rec
Imagines:
Ben Wyatt | Imagine comforting Ben after the Ice Town incident
One Shots:
Andy Dwyer | “Holy shit, you know Santa!”
Ben Wyatt | Happy Secrets
Peaky Blinders
One Shots:
Tommy Shelby | Eavesdrop
Preacher
Imagines:
Cassidy | Imagine being in a relationship with Cassidy Cassidy | Imagine getting up to mischief with Cassidy
Pushing Daisies
Imagines:
Emerson Cod | Imagine Emerson knitting you a sweater for Christmas Emerson Cod | Imagine being Emerson’s assistant
Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned falling in love with you when you become a regular Ned the Piemaker | “You’re covered in flour.” Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned baking you a pie
Reign
One Shots:
Sebastian ‘Bash’ de Poitiers | Real France | Part 2
Riverdale
Imagines:
Archie Andrews | Imagine everyone noticing you and Archie like each other Archie Andrews | Imagine being a Serpent that Archie falls for
Jughead Jones | Imagine editing Jughead’s manuscript Jughead Jones | Imagine becoming Jughead’s friend
Reggie Mantle | Imagine Reggie liking you
Sweet Pea | “Open your present!”
Veronica Lodge | I dressed down in this catwoman outfit for you and my party boob keeps escaping
One Shots:
Archie Andrews | Worry
Jughead Jones | Misery Loves Company
Sweet Pea | Blood, Tears, and... Corn?
Shadowhunters
Imagines:
Jace Wayland | Imagine Clary trying to go for Jace when he’s already dating you
Teen Wolf
Imagines:
Lydia Martin | Imagine Lydia helping you figure out which supernatural creature you are
Stiles Stilinski | Imagine helping Stiles through his night terrors Stiles Stilinski | Imagine being Scott’s little sister and having a crush on Stiles | Part 2 Stiles Stilinski | Imagine Stiles reacting to you getting terrible anonymous messages Stiles Stilinski | “Fine, you can put the topper on the tree.” Stiles Stilinski | “My gingerbread house is prettier than yours.”
One Shots:
Brett Talbot | His Angel
Stiles Stilinski | Unsteady Stiles Stilinski | Not Anymore Stiles Stilinski | Jealousy
Theo Raeken | In the Neighbourhood (kinda NSFW)
Headcanons:
Stiles Stilinski | Dating Stiles would include Stiles Stilinski | How Stiles reacts to you breaking up with him Stiles Stilinski | Taking Stiles to meet your parents would include
Theo Raeken | Dating Theo would include
X-MEN
Imagines:
Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | Imagine Erik trying to help with dinner by using his powers Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”
Charles ‘Professor X’ Xavier | “Why does the house smell like a cinnamon roll threw up?”
Charles and Erik | Imagine being recruited into the X-Men by Charles and Erik
Wolverine / Logan | Imagine stealing Logan’s motorbike to get his attention after having a crush on him for so long
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On the guy who “changed MPD to DID”
Recently I’ve begun to see things like this surfacing...
AND IT NEEDS TO STOP!!!
An article that was written in 2014 has been resurfacing lately in the plural community, especially among people without DID/OSDD. This is the article in question. In this article, the author is expressing some less than validating feelings about what he calls MPD. He didn’t believe in it. He seems to personally adhere to the unsubstantiated iatrogenic (it’s created by therapists) & sociocognitive (it’s a fad) models. He talks about how he wanted to remove MPD from the DSM-IV, but couldn’t do so.
Why is this such a big deal...?
Well, the guy who wrote this article is Allen J Frances, the man who chaired the DSM-IV taskforce. People have recently started spreading around these scary rumors that because he personally didn’t believe in MPD, he came up with “DID” to replace it.
This is NOT true.
Each edition of the DSM is run by a taskforce of many people. You can learn about how the taskforce for the DSM-IV worked here. Basically, the diagnoses were divided across different work groups who would receive input and data from researchers that specifically researched those disorders. They’d then analyze what might need changes, conduct field trials, and propose their suggestions, etc.
Frances just oversaw this process. He wasn’t a member of any of the work groups who were actually down in there coming up with & suggesting the changes. (Source: The DSM-IV pp.851-873 lists out everyone who contributed & what they did.) He wasn’t a researcher, either. He wasn’t giving any input or data.
He did not "coin” DID. The name change was recommended by researchers.
Look, I’m not a fan of Frances either. He doesn’t believe in the disability that I have. As the chair of the DSM-IV, he was strongly against ‘diagnostic inflation.’ His intention with the DSM-IV was to make sure that diagnostic criteria were as limited as possible so less people could get diagnosed. Because of this, many diagnoses ended up with minimal information and vague, limited criteria.
He's not on the taskforce anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. If he’s the chair of anything now that would be campaigning against the DSM-5. This guy actively condemns the most recent DSM because it undid a lot of the (frankly, harmful) changes. The DSM-5 lowered the threshold of many diagnoses, undoing the more restricted nature Frances pushed for.
That doesn’t mean that the DSM-5 is perfect; I certainly don’t think so. But it’s a lot better than the old manual, in my opinion.
Back to the whole “He coined DID!!!” thing...
So this whole thing that Allen Frances “coined DID” and “DID is his ableist replacement of MPD” is so fucking ridiculous. Don’t you guys think that if this were true, people would have been talking about it more? The earliest thing I could find mentioning something like this was this blog post from 2019.
I keep seeing threads practically repeating what is in this blog post. They keep bringing up that article I shared at the beginning of the post, but if you read through that article...he never mentions that he changed MPD to DID for some ulterior motive. He never even mentions changing MPD to DID at all. He just talks about his shitty opinions and whines about how he couldn’t delete MPD even if he wanted to. The best he could do to harm the diagnosis was injecting some controversy into the manual (which has been removed in the DSM-5).
Here’s that controversy. (The highlighted bits)
(^ Fuck that ableist shit. Why is everyone focusing on the disorder name and not THIS?)
I just have to wonder... If someone who was literally not a researcher coined DID and did so in order to harm people with it, over 20 years ago, WHY WOULD NO ONE WHO ACTUALLY RESEARCHES AND CARES ABOUT DID/OSDD TALK ABOUT THAT? Because there’s quite a lot of professionals who have talked about the controversy & restrictions he put into the manual! And, unsurprisingly, the name is not something that has come up! Nearly all professional sources I have found that talk about the change from MPD to DID says that it was done in order to make the disorder more understandable.
And do you guys wanna know some of the other disorders that were renamed in the DSM-IV? Literally all of the dissociative disorders (other than DPDR). They were all renamed to have “dissociation” in the name. To make them more understandable. Yeah.
DSM-III:
DSM-IV:
So, to all those people out there shitting on the DID diagnosis because they think that this asshole coined it...why are just shitting on DID when you should be shitting on ALL of the dissociative disorders that got name changes? Seriously, though. Saying that he coined DID is just straight up misinformation. My concern is that all this “DID is ableist” talk is going to end up getting dissociative people attacked or push them away from getting help. Reframe the hate lens!!! You can dislike Frances without spreading misinformation that can end up harming the people with the disability that he does not believe in.
That’s all I have to say on this.
- Sunflower
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fruity disney prince meets tired vampire raccoon, hilarity ensues
also known as “i refuse to give francis and any version of him short hair” - but anyway i like to HC 2P!France as some bitter raggedy starving artist and his name’s Cyril instead of François bc François sounds so boring guys come on (also bc i just like the name “Cyril” entirely thanks to TAPV)
and bc i love francis so much here’s a round of random HCs under the cut
its 3 am help me. anyway, Francis & Cyril get along contrary to popular belief bc they love to get philosophical and deep and also talk petty shit but also heavy shit. Francis also doesnt mind whenever Cyril needs to just lay down and stop existing for a bit, he gets it. He lays down with him so ppl think they’re chilling
Cyril & James (or 2P!Canada or however yall call him) deadass just have the same fucking expression. James emotes way more than Cyril tho, this mf is just so tired he cant waste energy trying to smile or getting angry or whatever
Francis does his hair bc he knows Cyril just wont take care of it, but a simple braid is the fanciest you’ll see him sporting
actually i think all these HCs about him being tired are just me reflecting cause its 3 am and im really tired but i really wanna post this bc i really like france hetalia
Allen (2P!America or however yall call him) calls Cyril an “edward elric looking mf”
i cant explain it properly right NOW but i like to think he’s the opposite as Francis but, still retaining those main qualities that make em both France. like he’s passionate, proud and confident in his own personal ways.
#aph#Axis Powers Hetalia#2p hetalia#hetalia world stars#hetalia france#2p france#purinsu art#francis could easily turn into cyril when mad and depressed but cyril could fucking never be francis#cause its too much work to live as the most fuckable person in paris 24/7
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2p allies with a touch starved s/o?
nice I can finally get to this one. AND AHA I BET YOU ALL THOUGHT I WOULDN'T POST TODAY BUT JOKES ON YOU I JUST CRASHED FOR 5 HOURS AFTER SCHOOL >:3.
I'm a consistent blogger hehehe, right guys ;~;
2p America: “hehe oh I'll give you all the touch you want and deserve”. In reality Allen is in the same boat but in a different way. There’s no sense in hiding the fact that he sleeps around a lot, but Allen...craves deep emotion and feeling. There may be a lot more perverted or gropey touches and smacks at first, he's an aggressive lover but he's still learning. Once he sees how sensitive his s/o is, how much they seem to want him and need him....he gets so soft. He hasn't been wanted in that way for a long time. He'll hold them so tight, kiss them so sweetly for a long time. All he really wants is to love and touch them, he's willing to be there for however long they need.
2p France: The best person for this situation surprisingly-. Francois has a lot of sex sure, but there’s was a period in his life where he was very lonely. He knows how that feels....it sucks for real. He's not the best at giving soft fluffy affection, but he knows how to be very sensual and romantic with his touches. He'll try his best to make sure his s/o feels secure and loved all the time in their relationship.
2p England: yeah there’s no way he’s not all over you anyways. Oliver is just a naturally smothering guy. He’ll give s/o all the attention and touch they want and need. His affection is usually very playful and sweet. But it’ll be fast and then go. If his s/o wants those longer hugs, passionate kisses and more they’re going to have to take initiative or ask for it. Oliver can be very very sweet, he can tell when his s/o needs physical contact even just a little bit of it. They could be at the super market strolling through the isles and he’ll just grab his s/o’s hand for comfort, rubbing circles into the back of their hand. If they’re watching a movie or something he’ll sit them on (or maybe even sit on) their lap and whisper sweet nothings while nuzzling his face into the crook of their necks. He is as sweet as he is an aggressive lover like Al tho so RIP his s/o’s lungs and rib cage lmao.
2p Canada: *relates pretty hard* Mattie doesn't sleep around as often as his brother because it depresses the shit out of him when they leave. He's so glad his s/o's here to stay. He gives really great hugs and kisses but he cannot for the life of him initiate cuddling and he’s tried. Its so hard for him to just go over and start loving on his s/o because he doesn’t know how to start it, and then overthinks it in the process. But he knows what to do if he isn’t thinking about it....if that makes sense. Like if his s/o were to just wander over and plop on his lap or sit next to him, he’d unconsciously bring them a little closer, play with their hair, kiss their neck...its hard to explain but eh, just know he’s got his s/o covered
2p China: *relates too hard* He too craves intimate and consistent affection. Zao gets really lonely, really easy. During these times he'll go to drugs or one night stands,with someone who doesn't care what happens with him. He tries to get everyone to stay for a little longer....he wants to be held, he wants to be caressed. Before his s/o he really didn't have that. Now that he does...well he honestly doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s never quite felt loved like this by someone who also wanted to touch him....like REALLY touch him. So now he’s just a little conflicted, but he wants this, and he knows he can give his s/o what they want and deserve. He just needs a little practice.
2p Russia: *HAS RELATED SINCE THE DAY HE WAS BORN* Viktor just doesn’t get out too often. He doesn’t really have a lot of one time flings because he’s kinda soft and people don’t hang out in cold ass Russia as much as he’d like so his friends are oh so far. He can embrace (or stay in the embrace of) his s/o for hours really. He needs those small touches those sweet moments just as much as they do. Viktor and his s/o are cute as hell tho with their shy cuddles and hesitant kisses umu.
I wasn’t sure about this one... I hope you guys have a great night (morning?) love ya!
#2p hetalia#2p!hetalia#2P#2p allies#2p america#2P france#2p england#2p canada#2p china#2p russia#2p headcanons
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T'was the night before the Oscars...
Here we are again. The final stab at a decent award show ceremony amidst a global pandemic. I'm not getting my hopes up after the Golden Globes and SAG zoom calls, in fact I've read very little about the upcoming ceremonies since they announced they would not be using zoom... and then promptly reversed that decision.
It would seem no matter how late we delay the Oscars, I still find myself the night before the show scrambling to watch all the Best Picture nominees. It also hasn't slipped my mind all the promises I'd made to discuss my top films of 2020 and the things I would not have seen if not for this global catastrophe. Having had a number of conversations with fellow cinephiles, many have also found themselves very unenthused about award season contenders, dramatic pictures or anything with heavier content so to speak, or even movies in general. The struggle to concentrate is real.
I'm going to get right into my list of predictions with the caveats that I have yet to see Sound of Metal, and I have to watch the second half of Judas and the Black Messiah after I hit 'post' here. You will find as we go through, there's lots more I haven't seen.
Best Picture
“The Father”
“Judas and the Black Messiah”
“Mank”
“Minari”
“Nomadland” - Will win
“Promising Young Woman” - Should win (though I liked Nomadland very much as well)
“Sound of Metal”
“The Trial of the Chicago 7”
Best Director
Thomas Vinterberg (“Another Round”)
David Fincher (“Mank”) - excellent director but I actually don't think he left his mark on Mank as much as he did many of his other films, I've questioned previously whether he should have gotten the nomination
Lee Isaac Chung (“Minari”)
Chloé Zhao (“Nomadland”) - Will win/should win
Emerald Fennell (“Promising Young Woman”)
Best Actor in a Leading Role - very strong contenders all around in this category, every one of them (I'm sure I'll have the same reaction about Riz Ahmed) made me say "holy shit" in amazement out loud
Riz Ahmed (“Sound of Metal”)
Chadwick Boseman (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”) - Will win/should win
Anthony Hopkins (“The Father”)
Gary Oldman (“Mank”)
Steven Yeun (“Minari”)
Best Actress in a Leading Role
Viola Davis (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”) - I think if not Andra Day, then Viola will win it
Andra Day (“The United States v. Billie Holiday”) - Will win?/should win
Vanessa Kirby (“Pieces of a Woman”)
Frances McDormand (“Nomadland”)
Carey Mulligan (“Promising Young Woman”)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”) - I think he's also got a decent shot in this category
Daniel Kaluuya (“Judas and the Black Messiah”) - Will win/should win
Leslie Odom Jr. (“One Night in Miami”)
Paul Raci (“Sound of Metal”)
Lakeith Stanfield (“Judas and the Black Messiah”)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Maria Bakalova (‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm”) - truth be told I didn't think her performance was so great that she should get an Oscar nomination for it
Glenn Close (“Hillbilly Elegy”)
Olivia Colman (“The Father”) - another potentially unpopular comment... while I think Olivia Colman is one of the best actresses and most delightful people in existence, given her range and talent I don't she particularly excelled in The Father to make it an Oscar-worthy performance.
Amanda Seyfried (“Mank”)
Yuh-jung Youn (“Minari”) - Will win/should win
Best Animated Feature Film - I only saw one film so I have no basis for comparison
“Onward” (Pixar)
“Over the Moon” (Netflix)
“A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon” (Netflix)
“Soul” (Pixar) - will win
“Wolfwalkers” (Apple TV Plus/GKIDS)
Best Adapted Screenplay
“Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern; Story by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Nina Pedrad
“The Father,” Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller - should win...and will win?
“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao
“One Night in Miami,” Kemp Powers - might also win?
“The White Tiger,” Ramin Bahrani
Best Original Screenplay
“Judas and the Black Messiah.” Screenplay by Will Berson, Shaka King; Story by Will Berson, Shaka King, Kenny Lucas, Keith Lucas
“Minari,” Lee Isaac Chung
“Promising Young Woman,” Emerald Fennell - 50/50 will win/definitely should win tho!
“Sound of Metal.” Screenplay by Darius Marder, Abraham Marder; Story by Darius Marder, Derek Cianfrance
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Aaron Sorkin - 50/50 will win... I really didn't get onboard this movie, but I will say the script was the best thing about it
Best Original Song - I'm not even going to venture a guess...
“Fight for You,” (“Judas and the Black Messiah”). Music by H.E.R. and Dernst Emile II; Lyric by H.E.R. and Tiara Thomas
“Hear My Voice,” (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”). Music by Daniel Pemberton; Lyric by Daniel Pemberton and Celeste Waite
“Húsavík,” (“Eurovision Song Contest”). Music and Lyric by Savan Kotecha, Fat Max Gsus and Rickard Göransson
“Io Si (Seen),” (“The Life Ahead”). Music by Diane Warren; Lyric by Diane Warren and Laura Pausini
“Speak Now,” (“One Night in Miami”). Music and Lyric by Leslie Odom, Jr. and Sam Ashworth
Best Original Score - I actually didn't think much of any of the scores in any of the films I've seen in 2020...
“Da 5 Bloods,” Terence Blanchard
“Mank,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross
“Minari,” Emile Mosseri
“News of the World,” James Newton Howard
“Soul,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Jon Batiste - will win
Best Sound - I suspect it might be Sound of Metal but I haven't watched it yet. I've also not seen Greyhound.
“Greyhound,” Warren Shaw, Michael Minkler, Beau Borders and David Wyman
“Mank,” Ren Klyce, Jeremy Molod, David Parker, Nathan Nance and Drew Kunin
“News of the World,” Oliver Tarney, Mike Prestwood Smith, William Miller and John Pritchett
“Soul,” Ren Klyce, Coya Elliott and David Parker
“Sound of Metal,” Nicolas Becker, Jaime Baksht, Michelle Couttolenc, Carlos Cortés and Phillip Bladh
Best Costume Design
“Emma,” Alexandra Byrne - will win
“Mank,” Trish Summerville
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Ann Roth - should win
“Mulan,” Bina Daigeler - should also win
“Pinocchio,” Massimo Cantini Parrini
Best Animated Short Film - I didn't watch a single Oscar-nominated short this year
“Burrow” (Disney Plus/Pixar)
“Genius Loci” (Kazak Productions)
“If Anything Happens I Love You” (Netflix)
“Opera” (Beasts and Natives Alike)
“Yes-People” (CAOZ hf. Hólamói)
Best Live-Action Short Film - I didn't watch a single Oscar-nominated short this year
“Feeling Through”
“The Letter Room”
“The Present”
“Two Distant Strangers”
“White Eye”
Best Cinematography
“Judas and the Black Messiah,” Sean Bobbitt
“Mank,” Erik Messerschmidt - will win/should win
“News of the World,” Dariusz Wolski
“Nomadland,” Joshua James Richards
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Phedon Papamichael
Best Documentary Feature - I thought I watched a decent number of docs in 2020, but apparently not the right ones because I saw none of these.
“Collective,” Alexander Nanau and Bianca Oana
“Crip Camp,” Nicole Newnham, Jim LeBrecht and Sara Bolder
“The Mole Agent,” Maite Alberdi and Marcela Santibáñez
“My Octopus Teacher,” Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed and Craig Foster
“Time,” Garrett Bradley, Lauren Domino and Kellen Quinn
Best Documentary Short Subject - I didn't watch a single Oscar-nominated short this year
“Colette,” Anthony Giacchino and Alice Doyard
“A Concerto Is a Conversation,” Ben Proudfoot and Kris Bowers
“Do Not Split,” Anders Hammer and Charlotte Cook
“Hunger Ward,” Skye Fitzgerald and Michael Scheuerman
“A Love Song for Latasha,” Sophia Nahli Allison and Janice Duncan
Best Film Editing
“The Father,” Yorgos Lamprinos - 50/50 will win/should win
“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao
“Promising Young Woman,” Frédéric Thoraval
“Sound of Metal,” Mikkel E.G. Nielsen
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Alan Baumgarten - 50/50 will win
Best International Feature Film
“Another Round” (Denmark) - will win
“Better Days” (Hong Kong) - should win (yes, because I'm biased, plus it's also the only other film aside from Another Round that I've seen in this category and I liked it a lot better, but also, just because it's very fine film)
“Collective” (Romania)
“The Man Who Sold His Skin” (Tunisia)
“Quo Vadis, Aida?”(Bosnia and Herzegovina)
Best Makeup and Hairstyling
“Emma,” Marese Langan, Laura Allen, Claudia Stolze - will win
“Hillbilly Elegy,” Eryn Krueger Mekash, Patricia Dehaney, Matthew Mungle
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Sergio Lopez-Rivera, Mia Neal, Jamika Wilson - should win
“Mank,” Kimberley Spiteri, Gigi Williams, Colleen LaBaff
“Pinocchio,” Mark Coulier, Dalia Colli, Francesco Pegoretti
Best Production Design
“The Father.” Production Design: Peter Francis; Set Decoration: Cathy Featherstone - I don't think this is the best Production Design but I do think it's underrated what they did and that it should be recognized a different kind of creativity went into designing the sets for this film.
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.” Production Design: Mark Ricker; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara and Diana Stoughton
“Mank.” Production Design: Donald Graham Burt; Set Decoration: Jan Pascale - will win? I do think the Production Design was spectacular...
“News of the World.” Production Design: David Crank; Set Decoration: Elizabeth Keenan
“Tenet.” Production Design: Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration: Kathy Lucas - should win
Best Visual Effects
“Love and Monsters,” Matt Sloan, Genevieve Camilleri, Matt Everitt and Brian Cox
“The Midnight Sky,” Matthew Kasmir, Christopher Lawrence, Max Solomon and David Watkins
“Mulan,” Sean Faden, Anders Langlands, Seth Maury and Steve Ingram
“The One and Only Ivan,” Nick Davis, Greg Fisher, Ben Jones and Santiago Colomo Martinez
“Tenet,” Andrew Jackson, David Lee, Andrew Lockley and Scott Fisher - will win/should win... like why would it not win??
Ok, I wasn't very decisive in some of those categories and since I'm taking part in an Oscar pool I will have to make some choices and refine my selections before tomorrow. I will share my final Oscar pool pics, do my part bombarding everyone's twitter tomorrow evening, and review after the awards where it all went right/wrong.
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30 questions
rules: answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better
i was tagged by @nalleyscott thank you so much girl! sorry i’m late tho.
name/nickname: Adriana/Adri
gender: Female
star sign: Aquarius
height: 5′4″
birthday: January 27th (Reaaaaaally soon Ugh..)
time: 8:41pm
favorite bands: Backstreet Boys, Rascal Flatts, Daughtry, Pussycat Dolls, OneRepublic, Maroon 5, Hedley, Imagine Dragons, Little Mix, Reik, Lady A, Life House, Nickelback, New Kids On The Block, Train, Etc.
favorite solo artists: Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, Jason Aldean, Dallas Smith, Kelly Clarkson, Shawn Mendes, Ava Max, Jennifer Lopez, Jason Derulo, Luke Bryan, Carly Pearce, Jess Moskaluke, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Sofia Carson, Jesse McCartney, Rita Ora, Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, Etc.
song stuck in my head: Tears Of Gold by David Bisbal Ft. Carrie Underwood.
last movie: Hobbs and Shaw.
last show: The Mandalorian
when did i create this blog: Ohhh i believe this was back in October 2010, That was so long ago i remember making it to find pics for roleplay purposes and i guess i just ended up staying so here we are.
what do i post: I reblog all kinds of stuff i’m multifandom so you’ll find everything along with a few of my creations here and there of my own edits and gifs.
last thing googled: Josh Duhamel pics to see if there is any new ones.
other blogs: of my own? @joshduhamelsource <3
do i get asks: Eh, not really sometimes but my ask is open any time.
why i chose my url: Because i think it’s obvious why i chose it cause of how much i love Josh Duhamel and i was so shocked that it was available to take way back when so i never changed it since. :)
following: I’m not gonna say sorry.
followers: 1,533
average hours of sleep: 6-8 hours at least.
lucky number: idk maybe 10 and 27.
instruments: Naaaaah.
what am i wearing: Black capri pj pants and my Carrie Underwood shirt from her Cry Pretty 360 tour 2 years ago.
dream job: Computer Web Designer, I’m determined.
dream trip: I’d totally love to visit California again (Which i will hope next year when all of this shit is over who knows), France, Nashville, Italy, New York, Niagra Falls and Vancouver.
favorite food: Pizza, Salad, Tacos, Burgers and Homeade wraps.
nationality: Canadian/Spanish.
favorite song: I have waaaaaay to many songs i love tbh.
last book read: Haven’t read a book in awhile but i really do wanna read The Lost Husband to see how it is compare to the movie.
top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: Las Vegas, Sweet Magnolias & The Rookie.
Tagging: @hillaryscotts @shane-west @maziekeen @troublefindsme @eizagonzalezs
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Hello I finished my July playlist a week ago but when I went to post it tumblr was down, and then I just plumb forgot! Anyway, here it is - properly sequenced this time for a very special listening experience that seamlessly delivers you from disco heaven to black metal hell and everything in between. Also I’m thinking of making these playlists a tinyletter that people can subscribe to that comes out on an actual schedule, rather than me posting them at a random time weeks after they’re finished. Is that something you’d be interested in? Who knows. Check back next month! Anyway, here goes:
listen here
Stay Away From Me - The Sylvers: You know when you’re listening to a song and the sample is super hot but the rest is just ok, so you think to yourself well why don’t I just listen to the original instead? That’s what happened to me with Final Form by Sampa The Great. That song is good but it’s also kind of not doing enough to convince me not to just listen to this super hit by The Sylvers instead. A fun thing with this song is to try to count how many instruments you can hear because it is surprisingly densely arranged for some reason. There’s a xylophone back there going off if you listen.
Sizzlin’ Hot - Paradise: The same thing happened with this song and Sizzlin’ by Daphni. I think they were going for an Armand Van Helden style distillation of the pure essence of the song, sampling the hookiest part and speeding it up and thickening up all the percussion and all that, which can work amazingly but for me it just made me want to hear the original and so I have been all month. What’s so good about being alive now is that in most cases it’s just as easy to access music from 2019 as it is to access music from 1981 where an original copy is apparently going for $1000 on discogs. Every day I thank god for inventing mp3s and putting them on the ark.
Manaos (Canzone) - Fabio Frizzi and Crossbow: I forget how I came across this, I was going through random Fabio Frizzi soundtracks for some reason. I just love the concept of a disco song about escaping from vicious assailants. Funkily singing ‘God help us, if they catch us we all are gonna die.’ as spears fly past you.
Holding On - Julio Bashmore: I think this is one of my favourite pieces of sampling ever. The way the vocals in the background are cut they don’t even sound like vocals. They just a strange contextless textural sound that works so well before eventually revealing itself as vocals in the run before the drop. It’s just so good.
Weight Watchers - Parallel Dance Ensemble: First of all I love this disgusting bass sound. It sounds like two different indistinct bass lines playing at the same time and they both drowned. I’m also mounting a change.org petition to bring back this kind of extremely naff Tone Loc flow, it rocks.
Dance - ESG: I found this incredible band while I was looking for the rapper ESG and I’m so glad I did. Their song UFO is one of those songs that’s been sampled so many times you think of it as more of a sound effect than a song, like it comes preloaded on a drum machine everyone has or something, but it’s also a good template for ESG’s sound. Every ESG song I’ve heard so far goes like this: a straightforward beat that doesn’t change for the whole song, a functional bassline that doesn’t change for the whole song, and good old fashioned simple lyrics about dancing and having a good time that sound more like schoolyard clapping games than anything. It doesn’t sound like much but over the course of an album it adds up to this incredible sort of hypnotic post-punk funk that I cannot get enough of. It sounds like kids who have 1 idea making a whole album out of it because that’s exactly what it is and it’s great!
Crave You - Flight Facilities: I love how elementally simple this song is. The vocals are hypnotising enough so everything else just quietly supports it. The only part that stands out is the thick bass synth halfway through which makes the short sax solo at the and all the sweeter, a tiny little cherry on top.
You - Delta 5: Get a load of this band bio: “Initially inspired by the success of local heroes The Mekons and Gang Of Four, Leeds, England’s Delta 5 later emerged as one of the key figures of the feminist new wave. Formed in 1979 by vocalist/guitarist Julz Sale, fretless bassist Ros Allen and bassist Bethan Peters.” Just going to gloss over them having TWO bass players before they even have a drummer?? Absolutely amazing. I love this song because it’s such a specific, targeted fury. Imagine being the loser at your girlfriend’s gig when she launched into this one for the first time. ‘who’s got homebrew with lots of sediment?’ oh fuck that’s me ‘who took me to the Windham for a big night out?’ oh fuck that’s me ‘I found out about you’ oh FUCK
Siren - Gong Gong Gong: I love the way the bass works in this, just looping and layering different variations of this noisy, stationary riff on top of itself - steadfastly staying in the exact same place the whole song and growing in power the whole time as it sits in its stubbornness.
Changes - Antonio Williams and Kerry McCoy: This came up on my Discover Weekly and I completely fell in love with it, then I realised it’s Antwan and Kerry McCoy from Deafheaven which is extremely intriguing collaboration and fell in love even more. The vocals are so good. The pure broken-hearted anguish, and the super blunt delivery that progresses to straight up yelling by the end of it combined with the Radio Dept type instrumentation is just so powerful. This feels like it’s a song that could really be a life-changing piece of catharsis for everyone in a 5k radius done live.
Fuck A War - Geto Boys: Absolutely in love with the conceit of this song: rapping a whole song down the line to the army drafter. The incredible part being of course that Bushwick Bill would be able to dodge any draft easily, being as he was both a dwarf and blind in one eye.
God Make Me Funky - The Headhunters: I found a lot of great songs going through the samples list for We Can’t Be Stopped by Geto Boys and this is one of them. I have so much love for any song that takes its time like this: nearly two minutes to set the scene and somehow taking deadly seriously the very funny lyrical idea of desperately praying to god to PLEASE make you funky. The way this song escalates is also amazing, moving from a hot groove that sits in place to a full-on saxophone meltdown that feels like god placing his finger on your forehead and saying ‘so you want to be funky, do you?’ in a scary voice.
Use Me - Bill Withers: Fortunately and unfortunately, because of how this song was in Anchorman and because I’ve seen Anchorman one million times I can’t listen to it without hearing the noise Ron Burgundy makes when he sees Veronica in the first few seconds. Anyway, this song is so horny. The part where he has to explain to his bro how good this shit is? Doing all kinds of weird dom shit like ‘getting him in a crowd of high class people and then acting real rude to him?’ Weird. And the escalation into the claps at BABY! is amazing, he’s just going off powered by horniness and god bless him for it.
America! I’m For The Birds - Nicolas Jaar: Unbelievably, the deluxe edition of Sirens is possibly superior to the original. It’s a whole new tracklist, new songs interspersed throughout rather than the usual ‘three new songs at the end’ and it really gives it a whole new feel. This song is my favourite of the new ones and it’s a song I had in my head for a solid week. A perfect song to sing to yourself because the lyrics are so indistinct that you just end up mumbling pleasantly exactly like he is.
Cable Guy - Tierra Whack: I’m finally catching up on Tierra Whack and everyone’s right: she rocks. The sheer restraint in these songs is amazing, they just get in and out with only the good parts and no bullshit. It reminds me a lot of To The Innocent by Thingy which is one of my favourite albums for the same reason - the economy of the songwriting just serves to amplify the feeling of it. They both have this total irreverence in the lyricism where the songs are kind of about nothing but they’re so short and heartfelt that you dig for the feeling underneath it.
No Drug Like Me - Carly Rae Jepsen: I’ve previously written that what I love the most about the Carly Rae Jepsen is how horny it is and I’d like to double down on that sentiment here. I love how slow this song is, it’s the perfect tempo between danceable and ‘fucking’.
Con Calma (Remix) - Daddy Yankee, Katy Perry and Snow: I’ve been on a european holiday for most of this month and I would like to report that across Spain, Portugal, Czech Republic, France and Germany this is the absolute song of the summer. It is completely inescapable and personally I can’t get enough. Informer is one of the greatest and strangest one hit wonders of all time (it’s also canada’s highest selling reggae song of all time and Snow is thusly named because he’s white) and I’m psyched to hear it reworked by Daddy Yankee like this. Katy Perry being on the crossover attempt remix isn’t a good sign for her new album but she kills it so maybe that’s all that matters.
Chase The Devil - Max Romeo and The Upsetters: Here’s the other half of my short lived dub phase from the end of last month. This is a good example also of how completely beguiling lyrics can still be so effective. I have no idea what he means by putting on an iron shirt but it rhymes and he’s saying it with conviction so I’m nodding!
Glass - Bat For Lashes: The new Bat For Lashes songs have got me revisiting Two Suns which is an all time great five star album and this is my favourite song from it. Maybe the most powerful opening track of all time, it does as much worldbuilding as most fantasy novels do in 1000 pages. In fact almost every line in this is a viable fantasy novel title. A Thousand Crystal Towers. The Hand Of The Watchmen. A Knight In Crystal Armour. A Cape Of Rainbow. The way she sings ‘to be made of glass’ is.. incredible. I love Natasha Khan and I cannot wait to see what she does next.
Unsquare Dance - Paddy Milner: In searching spotify for other interpretations of Unsquare Dance after getting obsessed with it last month I came across this absolutely bonkers version. It’s maniacal, it feels like you would be physically and mentally drained by the end playing it because I am just listening to it. Need a little lie down.
Gimme Some Skin, My Friend - The Andrews Sisters: My girlfriend has turned me onto The Andrews Sisters lesser known hits recently and this is the best one: a song from when high fives were a novelty that those wacky blacks over in Harlem town were inventing. Extremely odd but an undeniable banger. The thing about The Andrews Sisters is one of them was an absolute force of nature as a performer and the other two were complete wet blankets and it’s kind of funny they were together as a group for their whole career because anyone with eyes can see where the real star is. The way she sings ‘baby’ at 1:25, and that whole run really, is absolutely amazing and so much better than this extremely dumb song deserves.
Kids On The Run - The Tallest Man On Earth: The piano sound alone in this is just so beautiful. This song could be about anything at all and it would still make me cry, and luckily for me: it basically is!
King Of Spain - The Tallest Man On Earth: Good song I had in my head the whole time I was in Spain. It’s incredible that his voice is so good. It feels like if it was even the tiniest bit different, slightly rougher or tinnier he would be completely hilariously unlistenable but instead he’s amazing. Plus the fact that he leans into it with the purposefully lo-fi trebly production is just so confident you can’t help but love it.
Romeo And Juliet - The Indigo Girls: A great cover I wasn’t aware of before that I heard in this great documentary Wildwood I was watching https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOWxnh012J0. The way she absolutely flies off the handle and nearly tears the song down around her near the last chorus is pure power and I love people who can do that in an acoustic song without it feeling overblown, just getting totally swept up in it and taking everyone along with you.
On The Bus Mall - The Decemberists: Definitely the number one song about gay teenage prostitutes who love each other and are optimistic against the odds.
White Fire - Angel Olsen: This song feels like a piece of dark magic. It feels like a 4am moment of clarity, speaking everything true in a five minute monotone and then instantly falling back to sleep with only a dim memory in the morning.
Glass Eyes -JW Ridley: JW Ridley is a genius and I cannot wait to see what he does with an album. Every song he puts out seems to be better than his last. The central melody in this is just beautiful, and the whole thing has so much space in it it feels so much longer than 3 minutes. It’s like a song you can live in.
Nullarbor - Floodlights: I love how rough this song is, and driving across australia because you’ve got nothing else going on and want to rattle your own cage is a Huge mood.
Made Too Pretty (Audiotree Live Version) - As Cities Burn: I’m so glad As Cities Burn are back, because it means they get to do good shit like this Audiotree session where they absolutely killed it.
Dirty Hearts - Dallas Crane: I think I’ve put this on a playlist before for exactly the same reason: it’s a song I wake up with in my head fairly often for some reason and it’s a very fun slice of pub rock that doesn’t overstay it’s welcome.
Ruin This Smile - The Number 12 Looks Like You: Did you know The Number 12 Looks Like You have reformed after 10 years away and haven’t missed a step at all?? I’m salivating. This song is as good as anything they’ve put out before, and feels like it fits somewhere between Mongrel and Worse Than Alone which is fantastic news for me who always loved those a lot more than their earlier more explicitly grindcore stuff.
Nutrient Painting - Yellow Eyes: A special thanks to my friend and yours Powerburial for linking this song on his twitter. There’s something about the guitars in this song, in almost every riff, where it sounds like they’re playing backwards somehow. Like the structure of the melodies is backwards. It doesn’t make sense but that’s what it sounds like to me and it’s very disconcerting.
Jejune Stars - Bright Eyes: I think this an underrated Conor Oberst era, when he became a sort of buddhist for a while and wasn’t sad anymore but just observed earth from outer space instead. I also love the instrumentation of this song, Bright Eyes and blast beats a match made in heaven. Also the strange sample about pom’granite at the end is one of my favourite things ever. A very strange album to retire the Bright Eyes name on but a very good one too.
At The Bar - Dirty Three: When I was overseas I was thinking about cultural music, and Australia’s place in the world and things like that. I ended up thinking about Dirty Three who I think along with The Drones make the most distinctly Australian sounding music to me. Just the vastness they manage to conjure from such straightforward barebones instrumentation is incredible.
listen here
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Boston Boy - Chapter 7
A/N I’m going to start posting once or twice a week now. Give me time to work on the future chapters and make them great for you. But now, it’s time to meet the Allens!
Kate fidgeted in her seat, waiting for the few cars driving down the road to pass so she could cross and go down her street. Chris was sitting in the passenger seat looking at his surroundings. She lived kind of in the middle of nowhere. There were woods surrounding the road they were about to drive down. She slowed down near the fourth, well spaced out mailbox and pulled into the driveway there.
The brick rancher sat in a large clearing. Where the garage door used to be was a set of dark oak French doors with beautiful stained glass windows in the top half of each. The main entrance to the house was a single door similar to the French doors at the top of a wide porch. It was a wide dark oak and the stained glass was the entire middle of the door and on either side were long, thin stained glass windows. There was a large picture window in the middle of the house with jewel blue and chocolate brown curtains covering it.
Peeking out from those curtains were two dogs that Chris recognized as Denali and Galway. They were barking madly as Kate parked and turned the car off. “Home sweet home.” She said. “We’ll go in my doors here so we can get our bags in safely.” Chris collected his bag and grabbed Kate’s two bags as well. She had her purse and carryon bag and was unlocking the French doors.
“These are pretty.” Chris said, admiring the doors.
“Thanks. I actually picked them out. And the front door. It was a mother’s day present from me, my brother, and my step dad.”
“You’re the only car here. Where is everyone?”
“Work, probably. We got here earlier than planned.” Kate set her purse and carry on bag down on the leather recliner. “Well, this is my little garage apartment.” In the front was the recliner and a matching sofa set up in front of a 50” Samsung flat screen Smart TV. The TV was surrounded by a custom TV center made up of two floor to ceiling bookshelves, a row of cubbies above the TV, and an entertainment center below the TV. The bookshelves were stocked with all kinds of books, photo albums, and DVDs and BluRays. The entertainment stand was neatly organized with a desktop computer CPU, a Playstation 4, a Direct TV box, and a charging cradle for the Playstation controllers. Through the glass doors, he could see more DVDs and BluRays. The cubbies above the TV held knick knacks, stuffed animals, and picture frames.
In the middle of the room were the two large, folding screens with famous landmarks from England, France, and Italy painted on them. They extended from each wall, creating a wall of their own with a large gap in the middle that served as a doorway to the bedroom. Between the screen and the TV center was a small refrigerator and a counter with a microwave.
Behind the screen on the left was Kate’s queen sized bed with her stuffed Thumper sitting in front of the pillows. On the opposite wall from the bed behind the screen on the right was a large, custom closet set up that extended from floor to ceiling. There were small, shallow drawers for jewelry and larger, deeper drawers for clothing on one side. In the middle were two large doors that opened to the wardrobe. On the other side were shelves for shoes. On the top of it were cabinets for storing bags and other things. A folding footstool sat between a small flight of stairs and the shelves so Kate could climb up and collect things from the top cabinets.
The small flight of stairs led to a short hallway with two doors, one straight ahead with a small doggy door and one to the right. The one on the right was Kate’s bathroom. It wasn’t large, but it had a nice floor to ceiling shower, a good-sized vanity and a toilet. The door at the end of the hallway led into the main house. To the left was a step down into a utility room where the washer and dryer was along with a door to the backyard. To the right was the den with a fireplace and a custom built desk that extended across the far wall. There was a large and a small archway on one wall. The smaller archway led to the kitchen while the other led to the living room.
They didn’t make it past the den, though, because Denali and Galway were on them. They begged for love from Kate, rubbing against her and barking. When they noticed Chris, they both abandoned Kate to get love from the stranger in their house. Chris got down on his knees and played with them. Kate watched them for a few seconds before she went to the dining room to see if she had any mail on the table. A wall that stretched halfway across the house separated the kitchen from the living room. The dining room sat at the end of the wall, connecting the kitchen and the living room.
A hallway led from the living room to the three bedrooms and the bathroom. Her parents had the master bedroom, her old room, which was the second largest room, was now a guest room slash office, and her sister Janice’s room was the smallest room. The bathroom was a large bathroom with a stand up shower in one corner and a large, deep Jacuzzi tub in the other corner. There was a long vanity with two sinks and the toilet sat in a space between the vanity and the tub.
“Come on, guys! Go outside.” Kate said to the dogs as she rifled through her mail. The dogs ran ahead to the utility room and bolted out the door into the large, fenced in backyard as soon as she opened it.
“This place is nice.” Chris said behind her. “You grew up here?”
“Yeah. We moved in my sophomore year of high school and haven’t left.” She gestured at the yard where the dogs were running. “This whole area was terrible. Overgrown and there were tree stumps everywhere. My step dad has really fixed the place up over the last fourteen years. The next thing on his honey-do list is the kitchen. Mom wants new cabinets and a new dishwasher along with a new refrigerator. She’ll probably get a new sink and new countertops, too. Complete overhaul. Come on, Gally!” Her Boston terrier ran back in the house while Denali continued running around the backyard. “I don’t like to leave Gally out there. There’s a bald eagle that’s tried to take off with her a few times.”
“Shit!”
Kate picked Gally up and the pooch settled in her owner’s arms cradled against her chest, trying furiously to lick Kate’s face. “I know it’s a felony, but I will kill that bird if it harms one piece of fur on my baby.” She kissed Gally’s nose and set her back down on the ground to follow her and Chris back into Kate’s room. She flopped down on the bed and sighed. “I have missed this bed.” Gally climbed up the pet stairs on one side and marched up to the head of the bed, laying down on one of the pillows. Kate watched her and shook her head. “Spoiled brat.”
Chris sat down on the bed and laid back. “Wow. This bed is comfy.”
“I told you. It’s definitely more comfortable than yours.”
“Well, I still can’t judge that. I haven’t slept in it yet. Or done anything strenuous to test it out.” He rolled up on his side and ran his hand over her ribs. “I mean, we’re alone right now….”
“Travelling doesn’t take it out of you?”
“Are you tired?”
“A little bit.”
“Too tired for….” Chris was cut off by Gally walking up and licking him on his nose. Kate burst out laughing and Gally snuggled herself by Kate’s head. Chris laughed and rubbed the Boston’s belly. “Spoiled brat is right.”
Kate pushed Gally towards the edge of the bed. “Go lay on the couch.” Gally hopped down and trotted over to the couch with a huff. “Am I too tired for what?”
Chris leaned down and kissed her deeply, running his hand up her shirt. He was about to climb on top of her when a loud banging came from her front doors. They both shot up, smacking their heads together in the process. Gally started barking madly at the door, jumping up and down in front of it. A moment later, just as they finished putting themselves together, Kate’s step-dad unlocked the front door and walked into her garage apartment.
“Katie! You’re home early.” He said in his Southern drawl, petting Gally as she jumped up on the recliner to be loved on. “We weren’t expecting you until this evening.”
“Yeah.” Kate smiled at her step-father. “My flight was booked so we took an earlier flight together.”
“Who’s we?” He was looking Chris up and down.
“Papa, this is Chris. Chris, this is my papa Bill.”
“The Boston boy.” Bill nodded, still looking highly suspicious of Chris. “We’ve heard a lot about you. Mostly from her brother.”
“I’ve told you about him.” Kate insisted. Bill just grunted. “Ok, papa, you’re very intimidating. Good job. Chris is intimidated, aren’t you Chris?”
“Yes.” Chris said. He wasn’t entirely lying.
“You’ve done your fatherly duty, now be a normal human being for once in your life and be nice.”
“Where’s the fun in being a normal human being?” Bill asked.
“It’s completely underrated. Try it sometime, you’ll see.”
Bill held his hand out to Chris and Chris shook it, wincing slightly at the pressure the older man was putting on. “I’ve been to prison before, son, and I’m not afraid to go back. Don’t hurt my daughter.”
“Papa! Ok, out. Leave. Goodbye. I’ve got to get unpacked.” Kate hustled her step-father back out the door. Gally followed him out, but he shooed her back inside.
“Call your mother and let her know you’ll be home for dinner…. With a guest.”
“Ok. Love you.” Kate shut the door and shook her head, muttering to herself. “I am so sorry, Chris.”
Chris chuckled, petting Gally between the ears. “It’s ok. Has he really been to prison?” Kate shot him a look that told him her step-father was dead serious about that one. “Oh shit.”
“Don’t worry. Asshole McGhee is still walking this earth. So, you stand a chance against my papa.” Asshole McGhee was the name she’d given her ex that had cheated on her and nearly ruined her life.
“Good to know. Are you sure I shouldn’t get a hotel?”
“I’m sure. It was part of the agreement with my parents when I paid to renovate the garage into an apartment that they stay out of my business. This is my apartment, that’s their house. He doesn’t usually just barge in like that.”
“Extenuating circumstances?”
“Like me meeting someone in Boston on a trip by myself and wanting to make sure I’m not dead or suddenly have a pimp? Yeah. That’s his definition of extenuating.”
“So, you paid to renovate this place?”
“Yeah. I took out a small loan for it. I just finished paying it off earlier this year.”
“What happens when you decide to move out?”
Kate shrugged. “They’ll probably add a small stove and rent it out for more than they’re charging me.”
“They charge you rent?”
“Well, sort of. It’s kind of a roommate set up. I pay a portion of all the bills.”
“Oh. Sorry, I don’t mean to pry into your finances.”
“It’s ok. I’m going to start unpacking.” She handed him the remote. “Make yourself comfy.”
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Later that evening, Chris was watching a Golden Girls marathon while Kate was stretched out on the couch beside him with her head in his lap. She’d fallen asleep and had stayed that way for almost two hours now. He didn’t mind. He happily stayed still and stroked her hair, running his fingers gently through the golden mass. She hadn’t styled it, so her naturally wavy hair was on display. He decided that he liked it better that way.
A knock at the door in the short hallway disturbed Gally’s sleeping form on the back of the couch. She shot up, barking, and jumped down on Kate’s hip. Kate yelped and curled into a little ball, glaring fiercely at her dog as she ran for the door. She sat up, rubbing her hip, and looked around.
“Ugh, what time is it?”
“About 5:30.” Chris said.
“Wow, I was out.” Kate stood up and went over to answer the door. It was her mother. “Sorry, I was asleep. Gally, hush! It’s just Granny.”
“You didn’t tell me you were coming home early. I would’ve come home early, too.” Helena said, hugging her daughter tightly.
“I meant to call you, but I fell asleep. But I’m glad we got here early so I could unpack. Now I can show Chris around tomorrow.” Helena spotted Chris standing up from the couch and let out a startled noise. “Mom, this is….”
“You think I don’t recognize Captain America?”
“This is Chris. Chris, this is my mom, Helena.”
“It’s really nice to meet you.” Chris said, shaking Helena’s hand. “Kat talks about you a lot.”
“She talks about you, a lot, too.” Helena replied.
“Mom!” Kate’s face was turning a deep pink.
“What? You do. How did I not know that your Boston boy was Chris Evans?”
“Quit being rude. And you didn’t know because I didn’t tell you. Also, you don’t pay attention to the internet.”
“I did see a story on Facebook yesterday about Chris Evans being at a game with some blonde girl. I didn’t think for a second it was you.”
“Thanks.”
Helena shrugged. “The pictures weren’t that great and I can’t see great anyway.” She looked at Chris. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Chris smiled. “I know this isn’t the most orthodox thing on the planet, but I really do like your daughter. A lot. I hope that we can get to know each other and I can prove to you that I’ll make a good partner for her.”
Helena nodded. “You’re polite. That’s good. I won’t grill you too hard right now. I think we’ll have time for that later if you’re spending the week. Right now,” She looked at her daughter. “I don’t feel like cooking tonight. Let’s go out somewhere.”
“Oh, I’m tired of eating out somewhere.” Kate said. “I’ll cook, if you want.”
“If you want to, but I’m not helping.”
“You say that every time and every time you wander into the kitchen and nitpick.”
Helena shrugged. “So what are you making?”
“I don’t know. Dinner.” Kate turned to Chris. “Do you wanna run to the store with me and we can pick something out?”
“Sure.” Chris smiled. “That sounds great.”
“Ok.”
“Take your sister, please.” Helena said as she headed back for the main part of the house with Gally hot on her heels.
“What? Why?”
“Because she needs to do something besides work and watch TV.”
“Mom, you have tomorrow off and you can make her do all the things then. I am not spending twenty minutes combing the store trying to find her because she’s roamed off somewhere. I just want to get the groceries and get back.”
“You’re being mean.”
“No. I’m being practical. If you want to eat dinner on time, then Jan stays here.”
“Fine. Have it your way.” Helena disappeared into the hallway and the door shutting came a moment later.
“Sorry.” Kate turned back to Chris. “Jan has this thing where she roams off everywhere we go. It’s a real pain in the ass when she does it at Target or Wal-Mart. I once spent forty five minutes searching for her at Target. And don’t get me started on taking her to the mall.”
Chris shrugged. “I didn’t think you were being mean.”
Kate grabbed her purse off the recliner and pulled her keys out. “Mom is always quick to defend Jan. Especially from me. Like I said, she still thinks I’m that misguided teen who was angry and took things out on my little sister.” She sighed as she opened the front door. “This week is going to be so much fun.”
“I think it will be.”
“You haven’t met Janice yet.”
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Kate had decided on salmon steaks, rice, and a roasted vegetable medley for dinner. She’d had to get a chicken breast for her sister because Jan refused to eat the salmon. Chris sat in the living room talking with Kate’s parents while she cooked. Jan wasn’t very engaged in the conversation. Her eyes were glued to the TV as they usually were. Gally was sitting in Chris’ lap demanding to be petted while he talked. Denali would come over and nudge him for attention, but Gally would manage to get his hands back on her.
When dinner was about ready, Chris offered to set the table. Kate directed him to where everything was located and he kissed her cheek every time he walked by. Helena came in and checked on the food for about the dozenth time, nodding her approval at her daughter’s cooking skills.
“We got pie for dessert.” Chris announced as they sat down at the table. “Key lime.”
“It’s the kind you like, papa.” Kate added.
“I don’t like key lime.” Jan said.
“Then don’t eat it.”
“Kate.” Helena warned.
“What? No one is forcing her to eat the pie.”
Helena rolled her eyes and looked at Chris. “Usually I would ask you what you do for a living, but that seems like a stupid question.”
“Why?” Bill asked.
“He’s Captain America.”
“Oh.”
“You liked ‘Snowpiercer’, papa.” Kate reminded him as she passed him the bowl of rice. “Remember? You watched it a few months ago.”
“That’s the one on the train, right?”
“Yeah.” Chris said.
“So that was you, huh? That was a good movie.”
“Thank you.”
“Mom was a theatre major in college.” Kate said to Chris. “I can’t remember if I told you that.”
“Yeah. You mentioned it.” Chris looked at Helena. “What college did you go to?”
“Southern Illinois University.” Helena said. “They had a good theatre program.”
“Were you on stage a lot?”
“I liked the backstage work more, but I did a few plays.”
“I guess Kat gets her creative side from you?”
“She gets it from both her parents. Her father is talented in his own right.” Bill snorted and Helena shot him a look as he scooped up a large helping of veggies.
“Mom won’t say bad things about my father.” Kate explained, a forkful of salmon on her way to her mouth. “She still thinks it’s wrong to speak badly of him in front of her kids.”
“I’ve got plenty of things to say if you want to hear them.” Bill said, shooting his daughter a mischievous glint.
“You’ll do no such thing, William Allen.” Helena said.
Chris looked over at Kate and she smiled slightly. “I took his last name after I turned eighteen.” She explained. “It used to be Loewenthal.”
“That’s a mouthful.” Chris said, seemingly demonstrating by shoveling a mouthful of rice into his mouth.
“Yeah. People have never pronounced it right.”
“Her father wouldn’t sign the papers to let her change her name when she was younger.” Helena said. “She had to wait until she was old enough.
“Kat told me about everything you guys went through. I’m really sorry that happened.”
“Thank you. So you’ve seen some of Kate’s pictures?”
“Yes, ma’am. She showed them to me in Boston. They’re amazing.”
“She does have a good eye for it. Katie’s always been creative. From the figure skating and the dancing to the plays she did in high school and now the pictures. She really loved to be on stage, though. The military base near here has a playhouse and they put on ‘Cinderella’ last year. She tried out for the lead role and was sure she wasn’t going to get it because she thought she was terrible at the audition. She ended up playing Cinderella every weekend for about six weeks.”
“Do you remember when I did ‘Grease’ that one summer back home in Kentucky?”
“Was that when they condemned the theatre?”
“Yeah.” Kate looked at Chris. “The place was really old and needed to be torn down, but for some reason, they let the theatre company do ‘Grease’. They had marks on the stage where it wasn’t a good idea to stand because you might fall through. And a good portion of the marks we were supposed to hit were right over or right next to the bad marks. The whole play was us hopping around and trying not to fall through the stage while singing.”
Chris laughed. “That must’ve been a sight.”
“I’ve got a video of it.” Helena said. “We converted our old VHS tapes to DVDs about a year ago. I’ll have to dig some out for you.”
“I would love that. Thank you very much, Mrs. Allen.”
“Oh, call me Helena. I feel old when people call me missus.”
“It’s because you are old.” Bill said. “You’re two years older than me, Mr. Allen.”
“I admit that I’m old. Catch up.”
Kate saw Chris smiling at her parents’ banter. She took his hand under the table and he turned that smile on her. “Usually papa isn’t so reserved. Give him a couple of days and he’ll be at the table in just his underwear and turning everything said into a sexual innuendo.”
“It’s a gift my husband has.” Helena said. “Some things he says you just sit there and wonder how he got from point A to point Sex.”
“He also wins the lottery a lot. But only scratch offs. Never the Power Ball or anything.”
“My luck doesn’t work with that.” Bill said. “I don’t know why.”
“Slot machines are goldmines for him, too.” Helena added. “We went to Las Vegas and left with more than we came with. I saved money for the trip and he took twenty dollars of it and paid for the whole trip with that twenty.”
“Nice!” Chris said. “What’s your secret?”
“It’s no secret.” Kate said. “He has a golden horseshoe jammed up his ass. Which I better inherit when you bite it, old man.”
“You’ve got to dig it out if you want it.” Bill retorted. “I’m not getting it for you.”
“I’ll just get the undertaker to haul it out.”
“He’ll probably steal it for himself.”
“Nope. I’ll be there taking pictures.”
“What about your brother? He’s first in line.”
“He makes six figures a year and I’m pretty sure he’s CIA. He doesn’t need a golden horseshoe.”
“Your brother is CIA?” Chris asked.
“I think he is.”
“He’s not CIA.” Helena said.
“He’s secretive about where he goes. He can’t talk about most aspects of his job. And he knows too much about things I can’t explain how he knows about them. He’s definitely CIA.”
“That’s kind of terrifying.” Chris said.
“Right!? I’ve been trying to get him to fess up, but he swears he’s not. I just say the brother doth protest too much.”
Chris looked over at Janice who had been quiet this whole time. “Janice, are you close with your brother?” Janice just shrugged.
“Don’t be rude, Janice. Answer him.” Helena said.
“Not really.” Janice said.
Chris tried again. “Kat says that you like movies. What are some of your favorites?”
“I don’t like superhero movies.”
“That’s not what he asked.” Bill snapped.
“Bill….” Helena started.
“Helena, there’s no reason for her to be so rude.”
Janice let out a loud huff and stood up from the table, storming off back to her bedroom and slamming the door. Helena closed her eyes in frustration and Kate shook her head. “Sorry, Chris.” Kate said. “She’s uh…. Well, I told you she’s a handful.”
Helena started to get up, but Bill stopped her. “No. Let her sulk. We’ve got company and she doesn’t need to be out here if she’s going to act that way.” He looked over at Kate. “The food is delicious, baby. I love it.”
“Thank you.” Kate said, happy that her step-dad had relieved the sudden tension. “I saw the recipe on Pinterest and wanted to try it.”
“You and your aunt.” Helena said. “You’re always on Pinterest.”
“Oh, like you’re not?” Kate shot back playfully. “Don’t forget I’m friends with you on there. I’m pretty sure you have ninety eight percent of the recipes on Pinterest pinned to your food board.”
“Eighty two percent.” Helena said with a laugh. “There’s some on there that are just plain silly.”
“Kat said you learned to cook in France.” Chris said. “That’s really cool.”
“It was one of the many places I learned.” Helena said. “My brother was stationed in Germany and I spent the summer with him a couple of times. I met this old French woman while visiting Paris and she invited me to come to her house because I loved food so much. I ended up living with her for a month while she taught me all kinds of things about cooking and baking.”
“Helena has lived a remarkable life.” Bill said. “But her best moments are when she’s asleep.”
“Bill….”
“Has Katie told you that her mother sleep walks?”
“No.” Chris said.
“Here we go.” Helena said.
“Our dog Ireland used to sleep on my side of the bed and she would nudge my hand to get me to pet her in the middle of the night. One night she nudged me and when I went to pet her, she wasn’t there. I didn’t think much of it and went back to sleep, but she did it again. So I opened my eyes to see her staring up past me with a weird look on her face. I look over and Helena is standing spread eagle against the wall like she’s being patted down by the police. I said, ‘Helena, what the hell are you doing?’ She didn’t even look at me. She just said, ‘Never mind. Go back to sleep.’” Chris started laughing and Bill joined in.
Helena rolled her eyes. “I think they’re making it all up.”
“No. You’ve scared the shit out of me with your sleepwalking.” Kate insisted. “I woke up one night when I felt someone staring at me. You know that creepy feeling you get? Well, I opened my eyes and she was right over me. When I said her name…. Mom, not her actual name…. She said, ‘Don’t fight the nuns. They’re going to kill you.’ Then she just stood up straight and walked out. I was scared to even move.”
Chris’ hand was holding his chest as he laughed. “Oh my god!”
“I was just trying to protect my daughter.” Helena said.
“I’ve been terrified of nuns ever since.” Kate joked. “Thank god it didn’t happen when I was going to Catholic school. That would’ve really fucked me up.”
“I don’t think Katie inherited that from me.”
“I didn’t. I just got the insomnia and the restless legs.”
“I keep telling you to go to the doctor about that.”
“I don’t see how those sleep studies work. I sleep bad enough as it is. Hooking me up to a bunch of machines and filming me isn’t going to make me sleep better. There’s no way the data is accurate.”
“My mom has RLS.” Chris said. “She hated the sleep study they did on her, but the medicine they gave her has helped.”
“Does it make her tired?” Helena asked.
“It knocks her right out.”
“Mine does, too. Katie picks on me at night when we’re watching a TV show and I start falling asleep.”
“It’s to keep you from saying something in your sleep that will traumatize me.” Kate said. She smiled as Chris and Bill started laughing.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Chris crawled into the bed in just his underwear as Kate finished up in the bathroom. They had stayed up kind of late watching home movies of Kate performing on stage and skating. Watching her skating videos had given him an idea. While Kate was at work Monday, he would have to look into making that idea come true.
Kate walked down the stairs and smiled at him. “That’s a good sight.”
“Hmm?” Chris asked, snuggling deeper into the bed.
“Chris Evans in my bed. I guess Princess Aurora was right.” She climbed in next to him.
“What was she right about?”
Kate pointed at the little wooden sign hanging by the stairs. It had the silhouette of Aurora dancing with Prince Phillip and in pretty scroll letters next to it, it said, “If you dream something more than once, it’s sure to come true.”
Chris chuckled. “Well, we are comparable to Phillip and Aurora. You said so yourself.”
Kate laughed. “Once upon a dream.”
Chris pulled her to him. “What did you dream about me doing in this bed?”
“Oh, a little of this and a little of that.”
He laughed. “You’re quoting the movie.”
“Of course I am.”
“I do love that movie.”
“Me too.”
“So, tell me. What does dream Chris do that I need to live up to?”
“You really want to know?”
“Oh, I really want to.” He nuzzled her just behind her ear, making her sudder.
“Well, in one dream he finds a pair of handcuffs that I own and uses those on me.”
“Kinky. What about specifics? What exactly does he do to you while he’s got you restrained?”
“Hmm…. There’s a lot of teasing with his mouth. Sometimes he has a beard and sometimes he’s Steve Rogers clean. I prefer the beard because it can tickle and scratch at the same time.”
Chris moved her hair away from her neck and started kissing her shoulder and neck. “What about with his hands?”
“Oh, he uses those too. I’m pretty sure there’s not one inch of my skin that isn’t touched by him.”
He reached down as far as he could and ran his hand up her thigh, over her hip, and across her ribcage before cupping her breast as he bit down lightly on her shoulder. “What else?”
“Um….” It was getting hard for her to think clearly with his roaming hands and his erection pushing into her backside. She could feel the slight movements against her as his hips pumped almost imperceptibly. “God…. Uh…. He spent a lot of time between my thighs. Biting and sucking and licking…. Jesus, Chris, I can’t even think right now.”
Chris pulled her onto her back and moved over her, attaching his mouth to her right breast. She let out a moan as one of his hands snaked down her stomach and dipped below her underwear. He made an almost purring noise when he discovered how wet she was for him. His fingers began to lightly swirl her clit, teasing her, as he moved his lips down her body. Before he reached her thighs, he looked up and grinned.
“Hold onto the headboard.” He said, voice husky. “Don’t let go until I tell you.” She reached up and gripped two of the slats of the headboard.
He smiled and went back to kissing, licking, and sucking his way around her thighs as he worked her underwear down her legs. Once they were gone, he spread her legs out and rested them on his shoulders. His tongue flicked out over her folds and she writhed under him. He gently raked his nails on her hips as he gripped them to hold her still. She held on tightly to the headboard as he sent bolts of pleasure throughout her body. Just as she felt the first waves of her orgasm start, he pulled his mouth away. She let out a squeak of disappointment.
“What happens next?” He asked, moving back up her body.
“Uh….” She shook her head, trying to clear the fog. “In that dream…. I don’t know.” He shot her a confused look. “I wake up before the next thing.”
“Well, I guess I’ll have to adlib.” He looked at her body appraisingly. “How much flexibility did you maintain from figure skating?”
“Guess you’ll just have to find out.” She smirked up at him and he chuckled.
“Oh, I intend to.” Chris sat up on his knees between her legs and reached behind him to grab her ankles.
Instead of keeping them spread once they were in front of him, he held them together and braced them both on his left shoulder. He leaned forward until her knees were touching her chest. She moaned when he pushed deep inside of her, the angle making her feel full of him. His pace was slow and steady, bordering on torturous. Their grunts and moans were almost in sync with each other. When he wanted to pick up the pace, he sat back up on his knees and spread her legs to either side of him, holding her knees against his ribs. He picked up the pace and was pleased to see that she never let go of the headboard.
“I thought…. you were…. going to…. test…. my flex…. ability.” She said, between thrusts.
Chris grunted and pulled out of her, dropping her legs. “You can let go of the headboard now and get on all fours.” She did as he asked, moving slowly so he could enjoy the show. Once she made it on all fours, he lifted her left leg up behind her and rested her shin on his shoulder. He was impressed that she didn’t even flinch. “How far up can I push this leg?”
“Well, I used to be able to reach behind me and pull it up behind my head. I don’t think it would go that far now, but try for a ninety-degree angle.”
He scooted closer and her leg went up, her toes pointing at the ceiling. He had to lean back slightly to enter her from behind, but when he did, the sensations were incredible. The angle was so different than anything he’d ever experienced before. She’d never tried this position before, either. They both couldn’t hold back the noises that escaped their lips. He felt her flutter around him and then seize down on him suddenly. She cried out into her pillows as he picked the pace up through her orgasm. Her hands dug into the covers and she collapsed down off her hands to her elbows. The new angle pulled him in deeper and soon she was coming again. When the last of her second orgasm began to fade, he felt himself about to go. She squeezed her pelvic muscles and he yelped, spilling himself inside her.
They laid on the bed staring at the ceiling and panting. Both of them were covered in a fine sheen of sweat. When they looked at each other, they both started laughing. He pulled her to him and she laid her head on his chest.
“How’s your leg?” Chris asked.
“Stretched and ready to go.” She answered. “The other one is a little jealous.”
He patted her right leg. “Next time.”
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The Fight In Us: WA AU Fic
A fic I started writing exactly a year ago but never posted for some reason. Hope you guys enjoy it! On AO3
High school-WA
There was a loud crash of what sounded like bodies colliding that jolted Iris out of her thoughts. She looked over to the source but a crowd had already formed, blocking her view of what she imagined was yet another fight at Central City High.
With a roll of her eyes, Iris looked away and resumed picking at her lunch. It was a beautiful day out in the quad and she was feeling a little peeved that some idiots decided to settle scores with their fists.
"Holy shit, Iris, that scrawny kid is pummeling the big dude," Linda exclaimed.
Linda was new to the school and didn't quite know everyone's names yet but Iris knew exactly who she was talking about as her heart thudded in her chest. She looked over and sure enough, as the crowd spread out, Iris caught a flash of thick brown hair and pale hands before disappearing from view again.
"Who is that?" Linda asked.
Iris sighed deeply and rolled her eyes even as her heart fluttered. "My ex."
"Wait, what? You dated that guy?"
Iris didn't answer, watching as the crowd cheered, her legs suddenly bouncing up and down anxiously. She wrung her fingers, contemplating, before letting out another sigh that sounded more like a groan and getting up.
She marched up to the crowd her jaws set, eyes flashing in irritation. It was that anger and frustration that fueled her strength as she manhandled bodies out of the way, ignoring the cries of "Hey!"
By the time she made it to the front of the crowd, her ex-boyfriend Barry Allen was straddling Tony Woodward, his fist raised, rearing back to land another punch into him.
"Barry!"
Barry's fist stopped abruptly halfway toward its target, his head snapping up to look at her. And like a switch flipping, his eyebrows relaxed from their previously furrowed state and a wide grin formed on his split lips. There's a bright red splotch on his cheekbone where she knows a bruise would be blooming by the end of their lunch period. Her stomach twists at the sight.
"Iris," he said breathlessly. "Hey, baby."
The endearment slipped past his lips so effortlessly despite the fact that by conventional definitions, she was no longer his, just as he was no longer hers. Iris hates the flutter in her heart at the sight of his happy smile, that smile that was reserved just for her. But, she ignored it as she crossed her arms and looked at him sternly.
It took great effort to keep the scowl on her face and to ignore the flutter at his starry gaze upon her face. He was looking at her as though he was in awe of her and it simultaneously frustrated and thrilled her. But thankfully, she was able to shove aside her treacherous heart and use her brain.
"Barry, what are you doing? Get off of him."
Barry clumsily got off of Tony, his eyes on her with that same damn heart-melting smile. He steps over Tony's prone body as he made his way toward her while the crowd around them dissipated with disappointment. He trips over his own feet before straightening and Iris absolutely hates how that makes her heart squeeze in a way only Barry could.
(She actually really loves it.)
"Iris hi," he breathed, his eyes dazed and taking her in, flickering across her face.
"Barry," she said airily. "Up to your old antics, I see?"
His eyes widened as he looks behind him where Tony Woodward lay, groaning. His buddy was crouched over him, sending a glare Barry's way.
"No, I-that's not, that's not what it looks like, Iris."
"No? Because it looked like you were pummeling Tony Woodward. That's not what happened?"
"I mean, it is," he relented anxiously, "but it's not-what I mean to say is that I haven't been in a fight in a really long time. The whole time you were gone, I've been good, I promise."
Iris looked at him skeptically through narrowed eyes. "Ok, so do you want to tell me what that was all about?"
Barry fidgeted under her gaze, fiddling with the hem of his plaid button down as he shuffled his feet nervously. He glanced around before taking Iris's wrist softly in his hand. Iris had to suppress the gasp that threatened to slip out at his touch. It was the first time in too long that she had felt his hands on her skin and her heart ached at just how much she missed it.
"Um, is it alright if we talk somewhere else? I have a feeling Tony's going to be pissed and go for round two when he comes to."
"Yeah, sure," she said shakily, failing to sound nonchalant. She slips her wrist from his hold and ignored the hurt look on his face even as it cut through her.
They walked quietly side by side away from the loud cacophony of the courtyard as they made their way inside the school. After what feels like an eternity in which Iris had to fight the urge to burrow herself in his embrace, he finally spoke.
"Um, it's really good to see you. You look great."
"Thank you, you do too." And he did. He didn’t look much different since she last saw him seven months ago, but there were small changes like the thickness of his hair, the slight stubble that apparently was finally appearing.
Iris remembered when Barry would complain about being a late bloomer in the ninth grade while fellow male classmates were already sporting scruffs and his face remained baby smooth. She had giggled and slid her palms across his soft cheeks, telling him how much she loved his face anyway as she punctuated the words with kisses on his skin.
It was strange to see the stubble now, months later. It felt like years had passed instead of mere months.
He blushed at her compliment and looks at her with a smile. "How was the program in France?"
For a moment Iris forgot all about the awkwardness between them as her eyes lit up in excitement. "Oh, it was amazing!" Iris exclaimed. "Seven months was definitely not enough. But, by the end of my stay, I was able to speak to the locals in almost perfect French, so I’m pretty happy about that."
"That's amazing. Now you can curse at me in French and I'd never know," Barry laughed.
"I wouldn't do that. But, Barry it was just unbelievable and my media studies teacher was incredible. So smart, so witty, and funny. I swear, everyone should aspire to be like her." And before she could think about it, the words slipped out. "I wish you had been there."
He stopped abruptly in place and looked at her with an unreadable expression. After a moment of hesitation, he took her hand and pulled her closer to the lockers away from any passerby.
"Iris, there's something I need to tell you."
"Bar—"
"Allen!"
Barry and Iris looked to their right in unison at the sound of the voice, only to see the school's security guard walking toward them.
"Hey Mr. Albert," Barry said sheepishly. "Guess you heard, huh?"
Mr. Albert planted his hands on his hips, making him appear more imposing than he already did. He always had a snobby attitude that most students hated, but somehow over time, Barry and Mr. Albert developed some kind of camaraderie. Although, at the moment, it looked like Mr. Albert wasn’t in the joking mood.
"Yup and so did the principle. He wants to see you in his office. You too, West, you're a witness."
Iris furrowed her brows. She had barely seen anything, but as she took in Barry's glum face she sighed inwardly, knowing there was no way she'd be able to ever turn her back on him in a time of need.
Barry sighed and glumly nodded his head walking toward Mr. Albert who ripped out a slip from his notebook and handed it to Barry. "Come on, Allen, I thought you knew better than this."
"I know, I know," he mumbles.
“You were doing so well. What the hell happened?” Mr. Albert asked.
Barry shrugged and simply looked down at his feet. Mr. Albert looked at him in pity and nodded toward Singh’s office. “Off you go. There’s only so many times we can let you off the hook, Allen.”
Barry nodded and took the slip before heading toward Singh’s office. Mr. Albert looks at Iris with raised brows before huffing out a laugh and walking away.
As Iris followed after Barry, she couldn't help admonishing him. "See, this is what fighting gets you. How many times have I told you, using your fists in not the way to solve problems, Barry. People are assholes and will always be, but it doesn't mean you start pummeling them to prove a point. You think Tony's going to suddenly see the error of his ways after gaining a couple of bruises? That he's going to suddenly go 'Ah Barry, man you were right, I'm going to stop being a dick'?"
Barry brushed his hands against his hair with anxious fingers, a tick Iris recognized as a nervous habit. "I know it was wrong. And Iris, I really have been working on controlling my temper. I just…" he sighed before letting out a groan, scrunching his eyes shut. "He's just…what he said, he's just fucking scum."
Iris watched as he balled his hands into fists, his hall pass crumpling in his hands. She put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed it soothingly. "Hey, Barry, just take a breath. It’s ok."
Barry inhaled deeply before slowly letting it out, his fingers relaxing.
They finally made it to the principal's office and braced themselves. Principle Singh looked up with a bored expression.
"Barry Allen, the star student with a temper." He turned to Iris. "And our other star student who intervened is what I hear through the grapevine."
"Hardly. I didn't get in the middle of the brawl if that’s you're thinking."
"No, not at all," he said with a smile. "But, maybe you can add to Mr. Allen's story."
"I thought I was here because I'm in trouble," Barry said.
"Oh you are, but I'm a believer of hearing all sides of the story. So why don't you start and tell me just what went down?"
Barry shifted uncomfortably in his seat, sneaking furtive glances at Iris. "Uh Tony was um, just mouthing off and it…made me angry?" he finished lamely.
Iris shot him an annoyed look at his pathetic excuse.
"Well, Allen, judging by the fact that Mr. Woodward is currently in the nurse's office with a black eye, yeah I'd hazard a guess that he made you angry. What was it that he said to provoke you?"
Barry stammered, "It's-it's nothing, it was just stupid stuff that he always says. I mean it's Tony Woodward, he's a bully."
"Well, some would say you're the bully in this case."
"What?!" Barry exclaimed. He sat up in his seat, his hands gripping the armrests of his chair. "That is not true. How is self-defense considered bullying now?"
"Yeah, I'm failing to see how when pitted against Tony Woodward, Barry would be considered the bully here," Iris interjected. "That kid has a reputation that precedes him and Barry is actually someone who stands up to him."
She felt the tension rise on her back at the thought of Barry being accused of being a bully. Barry Allen may be a little too quick to throw a punch, but he was the sweetest guy she knew. If only he knew how to get his temper under control.
"Now, I'm not accusing you of being a bully Barry, I'm fully aware of Mr. Woodward's history. What I'm trying to say is that if you stoop to the level of bullies, how are you any different? How are you going to set an example of what the right thing is?" Singh asked giving him a knowing look. "Answer me honestly, who threw the first punch?"
Barry's leg bounced up and down rapidly before he finally sighed and relented. "It was me."
"Why?" Singh opened a folder on his desk and brandished a sheet of paper. "See this? You've gone nine months without incident. Nine months and no fights. What was it that backtracked that progress?"
"Look, I understand the error of my ways, do we really need a play-by-play? Can we just skip to my punishment?"
"Why aren't you telling me what he said?"
Barry's eyes flickered to Iris and she furrowed her brows in confusion as Singh looked between them. His own face cleared and he nodded in understanding. "Ok. You can take it up with Ms. Horton in guidance, but don't let it happen again, Allen. You're too good of a kid to have his permanent record be tarnished by suspensions. You've got detention for the next two days."
Barry looked up in surprise. "Whoa, t-thanks Principle Singh."
"Don't mention it. Just," he lets out a sigh and looks at Barry meaningfully. "Look, Barry, you're a good kid and I know if you channel that energy and anger into helping people like I know you want to, you're going to achieve great things. I see a really bright future for you and that makes me all the more disappointed when I see you getting into these kinds of trouble. If Tony gives you trouble, come to me and we'll deal with it. That's my duty, just as it is yours to get the most of this school and set a positive example for your peers. Do you understand?"
Iris turned to look at Barry and it appeared he was just as surprised by the meaningful speech as she was. She knew Singh was one of the good ones, but she never saw him as expressive as in that moment.
Barry nods in jerky movements. "Yeah, of course. Thanks, Principle Singh. I-I'm going to do better."
"I know you will. You're both free to go."
Iris led the way as a dazed Barry followed behind. She looked at him and could see the shame on his face and felt her heart clench in her chest. She took his hand in hers.
"Hey, you ok?"
Barry cleared his throat and blinked rapidly. "Yeah, I'm ok." He was quiet for a moment. "Just reminded me of dad for a moment there."
She looked at him in concern and pulled him into an empty classroom. "You know he would have been so proud of you."
Barry scoffed as he leaned against the teacher's desk, looking away from her. "Dad was happy I knew how to stand up for myself and others, but he wouldn't exactly approve of this. Multiple detentions and almost-suspensions? Not exactly a star of a student as Singh thinks."
"I mean, yeah the fists need to stay down," she said, watching as his lips curl the tiniest bit. "But come on, Bar, you always, always have the best of intentions. You're always looking to stand up for people and it's honestly why I fell in love with you."
He looked at her hopefully. "Yeah?"
She rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Oh you really didn't know that?" she teased, hopping onto the desk beside him.
Het let out a light laugh as he straightened and moved closer to her, the clouds in his eyes fading.
"I miss you, Iris and I have changed. I know I didn't do a good job of showing it by getting into a fight on the first day of school, but I was mad that you had heard what he said and I just…" he sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. "I couldn't stand it and I know that's not a good excuse, but Iris, I really am trying."
Iris looked up, her legs swinging back and forth as she took in his words. A soft, warm glow filled her heart at the sight of his earnest face. That sweet face that was hard not to love.
"I know you are," she said quietly. “Even before I left, I saw it."
"Because you were right, Iris. I wasn't dealing with what happened to my dad, but I'm working on it."
"Yeah?"
Barry nodded, playing with his fingers. "Yeah, I've um...I’ve been seeing someone. Mom found this therapist a year ago and I finally decided to go."
Iris looked at him, her heart filling with happiness."Oh, Barry, I'm so happy to hear that.”
She reached over and placed her hand over his fidgeting ones until they stilled.
He let out a deep sigh. “I think I was scaring mom. I finally saw it when I caught her crying over the family album. I knew she wouldn’t want me to see but I couldn’t leave her that and we finally talked. I realized that she was trying to spare me and it hurt me to see her hiding her grief and I imagined she felt the same about me. "
Her heart clenched in her chest thinking about Mrs. Allen. She always had that beautiful smile on her face for as long as Iris knew her and when Mr. Allen died, the smile dimmed. She put on a great act for her and Barry, but Iris could see that it wasn’t as bright as before, like a light had been turned off. It broke her heart to see Barry broken, but it hurt just as much to see the woman who had become a maternal figure in her life lose her soulmate and try to raise an angry boy on her own. But Iris was determined to be there for Mrs. Allen just as much as she would be for Barry.
“I’m really glad for you both.”
Barry looked down at their joined hands and slowly laced his fingers with hers. "Iris?"
She held her breath, savoring his touch. She hadn't realized how she had been starved for his touch until that moment. There wasn't a day that went by she hadn't thought of him, but in the midst of exploring France and keeping up with her classes, she couldn't think about being in a relationship. While her classmates gushed about meeting French boys and wishing for romantic evenings, Iris only allowed Barry to invade her thoughts for a brief moment before she scolded herself about getting distracted.
But sitting there so close beside him, his soft, warm hands against her own, Iris felt her heart ache as she let those feelings wash over her.
"Yeah?" she finally responded.
"I've really missed you."
"I've missed you too."
He hesitated before gripping her fingers tighter. "Do you…do you think that maybe, I don't know, that we could maybe…go get some ice cream tonight? Or I don’t know, we could go to that Thai place we like instead of ice cream, or we could do both. I mean, that's if you're in the mood for either or there's that Turkish place too. I haven’t had kebabs in ages and they have that great spinach pie you like, I mean we can do any of it or all of—"
He broke off at her gentle laugh. "Ice cream would be good. Mom already made her famous spicy chili so I can meet you after."
He nodded agreeably before slowly shrugging his shoulder. "Or I…I could pick you up?" he asked tentatively, looking at her from under his lashes.
Iris nodded with a soft smile. “I’d like that,” she said. “Can you promise me something, Barry?”
“Of course,” he said eagerly.
“Can we make a promise to each other to be open and always communicate with one another? I love you, but I can’t watch you hurt yourself and not talk to me about what you’re going through. No one is invincible and we should be able to talk to each other. Deal?”
He brought her hand to his chest and rested his forehead against her while keeping his gaze steady on her. “I promise you, Iris. I’ve hurt you and my mother enough and I’m done with that.”
She closed the distance between them, her lips touching his. She can feel his gasp against her just as well as she could hear it.
“Ok,” she whispered.
“Ok”
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Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.
Stolen from @scienceoftheidiot
Nickname: people here call me Rancid, which is super strange to me - being called by the name of one of your favourite bands is so eerie! But cool as shit. Other people call me Mimi after an internet screen name I have.
Zodiac: FOOD (Taurus/Ravenclaw, actually)
Height: 5′2′‘
Last movie I saw: Café Society by Woody Allen. Run, people. It’s absolute horseshit.
Last thing I googled: the name of a café to get their opening brunch hours. FOOD, I told you.
Favorite Musician: I REFUSE TO PICK AND THAT’S FINAL
Song stuck in my head: The Green Fields of France thanks to one of @scienceoftheidiot ‘s last posts
Other Blogs: @mimiuptostuff - that reminds me I have to update it...
Do I get asks?: almost never.
Blogs following: I have not checked. I suppose about 100.
Amount of sleep: 8 hours currently. It’s okay!
Lucky number: no thanks
What am I wearing: A t-shirt of one of my favourite bands, jeans, trainers
Dream Job: the one Icurrently have, except with a bit more activity and stability.
Dream trip: SCOTLAND <3 And also, the reste of Ireland that I haven’t seen. Both involving lots of beer and food.
Favorite food: OH COME ON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PICK? I suppose Italian, any good pub food, and CHEESE.
Play an instrument: Nope.
Languages: French, English, Italian, a tiny bit of Danish and German, and I can understand Spanish (okayish).
Favorite songs: NO PICKING I TOLD YOU
Random Fact: I cannot burp correctly to save my life.
Describe yourself as aesthetic things: Very briefly in the wise words of Rancid (the band, not me, duh): “Big heavy shoes and rolled-up jeans”. Randomly: tulips, CDs, hands with lots of rings, brewing tea, a picture-perfect bowl of comfort food, wind gently blowing on the coast of Ireland, loud punk rock, denim jacket with lots of pins and badges, a warm fireplace, crisp leaves in autumn, a cat yawning and stretching.
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hello, its nora bringing yet another problematic character. this is a spoiled daddy’s bitch, raised in a farmhouse in vermont, who’s never really had to work for anything in her life and doesn’t want to. studying class civ cos she thinks it makes her sound smart, but actually hates fuckin latin and just loves learning about feckless hedonism and the festivals of bacchus. was expelled from princeton in her first year so her parents basically paid her way into lockwood. loves the smell of libraries and listening to french music from a tinny record player in knee socks. has a twin brother called otto who is basically guy bellingfield from the riot club and tbh knowing my lack of self control i‘ll probs end up bringing him here too.
bio is below the cut, like this post to be bombarded with plotting messages x
it might be HER SOPHOMORE year but I still think ALMA OLIVE PUTNAM looks exactly like ALICE PAGANI and sometimes I think the FEMALE is actually them. Of course I’m wrong, as they’re 20 and studying CLASSICAL CIVILISATION while living in AUDAX here at Lockwood. The TAURUS can be rather TENACIOUS and MAGNETIC, but also kind of FANCIFUL and DOUBLE-CROSSING. Their most played song on Spotify was LAISSE TOMBER LES FILLES by FRANCE GALL, so I think that says a lot.
THE SHORT FORM.
— born in vermont in a big old farmhouse. her great-great-grandfather moved to america as an immagrant and worked on a plantation, made his wa up cos he could speak a lot of languages and therefore win more people over. for the last two generations, putnam men have owned the farm and do little of the dirty work. big in the meat industry.
— both her parents had Large Personalities, so alma’s never really been shy around adults, even as a kid she’d speak to them in a forthright, confident manner, and because she was always surrounded by adults, she’s always seemed a bit Wise Beyond Her Years. — very much a consolidation of every character in the secret history. has a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs. obsessed with w.h. auden and the beat poets. — ”aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing and even that is pointless” — is majoring in classical civilisation. can read ancient greek and latin. also speaks french. — studies hard and plays hard. she gets top marks but it’s because academia is literally her life, she loves the smell of libraries, the ancient smoke of learning, of feeling like old wine in a new bottle reincarnated from the bones of some old, dead witchy woman who invented a cure for cowpox or somethin. — isn’t a foward-planner, however. frida prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manner so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenaline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night. — pretentious motherfucker. LOVES poetry, especially the romantics, loves morbid ones too, edgar allen poe, sylvia plath, allen ginsberg, she just loves them all. can’t get enough. her favourite films are like…. wanky artfilm independent european cinema. especially french new wave. “what do you think of goddard’s work??” while snorting a line off someone’s sink at 5am on a school night, but you can bet she’ll make it to that 9am class. — very Intelligent and Beautiful and knows both of those facts. vocal feminist. soapbox sadie. Very Passionate about Issues. plays devil’s advocate. humanitarian, vegan. — judgemental but takes great care not to appear so. — just wants to be Loved By All. a party girl ; doesn’t rlly enjoy it, jst feels she Should enjoy it. — tries to be an Enigma. wants to be mysterious and unreadable because that’s what books have taught her makes women Desirable and Interesting and Cool. — obsessively devours mystery and thriller novels. she herself is a gillian flynn book waiting to happen. — act like the flower but be the serpent under it. is a user. manipulative. leads people on. will throw another student under the bus to demonstrate her own intelligence and integrity — heavily involved in the theatre society. loves attention. — has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive, runs track, played lacrosse at school, now is a cheerleader probably. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning. — her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk. — relates to ophelia from hamlet and sibyl vane in dorian gray. weirdly obsessed with women who commit suicide. loves jackson pollock paintings and abstract art. – likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.
PLOTS.
here are some generic wanted plots but by all means message me so we can flesh them out more if any strike ur interest:
study buddies !! someone who is equally unprepared and so spends all night in the library with alma before a big deadline, maybe they even met in the library
if they’re from new england or vermont, then cousins . second cousins / extended family / family friends – probably spat volavons on your character once as children, omg childhood friends !
people who live on the same floor and only know each other from brief interactions in the lift or the canteen
frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sporting or academic rivalries !
hockey / cheer friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!
fellow academics who like meeting up to discuss latin and greek ! gimme a secret society bonding by their love of ancient learning
i reckon she’s in a lot of societies, definitely the film club, maybe works as a projectionist at the uni cinema if they have one so give me ppl affiliated with that, give me fellow wanky pretentious art-lovers and poets and historians who will go to museums and galleries with her and listen to the velvet underground on vinyl
people she gets mortally fucked off her tits with at parties
people who think she is throwing her academic potential away by caving to hedonistic impulse
people she has drunkenly made out with, hooked up with, or regularly sleeps with casually, maybe even a friend w benefits she is repressing feelings for, i love angst,
people she used to date or unrequitedly likes, but to them it’s just a physical thing, give me all the thirsty angst plots, and maybe some softness too, i need some religion in this girls life, she is a roman catholic after all
FULL BIOGRAPHY.
alma olive putnam.
intro.
The girl is a knife. Razor-sharp, double-edged, the bright shine of a two-faced, lovely thing. Silver like the secrets you magpie thief from other heads. You’re a scavenger of knowledge, of tidbits, of gossip to lock away for later use and late-night re-inspection. A mind is like a clock if you get to learn the pieces. Bit by bit, you dismantle the inner workings of the brains that tick around you – how easy it is to change it’s path, how words and their meanings can make a person laugh or cry in an instant. To have the power to control that is to be a God. It’s the power trip you crave wielding pom-poms in your hands; a possessive need for control that a younger you, small and weak, never had as a child. Small lips, smaller smile, a doll clutched in your too-hungry fingers, hard enough to shatter the bones of a real infant. You cut your hair with your mother’s kitchen scissors before the autumn falls, rendering you out of season, unfit for the cold weather that beats against the nape of your neck, where a stick-and-poke marks the star you were born under ; the bull. “Mama, when will I be a Queen?” As soon as they find a crown small enough not to slip from your head.
biography.
If you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. Hands red, stained by pomegranate seeds, the empty pulp of its shell splattered on your thighs you find yourself wondering – what would it be like to want? In the beginning, you never knew hunger. Twins, born under the same star, you first, him second -- a nuclear family. Never a sister to compete with, you were always the cherry pie of your parents’ hearts. Raven-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful baby of mine. The townhouse in Vermont and the summer house in Lyon, you wanted for nought, showered with attention, saddled with gifts - hardly a wonder you came to rely on such affection as a confirmation of your own worth.
At eight years old you first met death, blood on a gingham-print dress, a smear of it over your cheekbone and the pulp of a mangled animal at your feet murdered by the hands of a stable boy. “Alma, my precious baby, you get away from that filth,” your Mama would cry from the upstairs balcony – cigar in one hand and a bloody Mary in the other – though whether the filth she referred to was the dead pig or the boy with a kernel of corn in his mouth, you never did find out.
Your family earned their keeps in farming, great-grandfather Wolfgang Hildegarde a German immigrant, great-grandmother Maura Lisbon a prairie girl. They fell hopelessly in love between troughs and pig-shit, working for three dollars a day at a farm their descendants would later own, trade deals with the Indians, vacations to Calcutta, your father Todd Putnam in the kind of sheepskin coat his father’s father could only dream of owning. He worked hard so that you’d never have to. Your mama once asked – you heard it through the window, rounding cartwheels across the picket-fenced lawn – could he not find a respectable career rather than selling shrink-wrapped pork for a dime a dozen? That blood money had no business raising a child. You look far back enough, Edie, your father had said in his low, strong voice that could bring a Civil War to silence, and I think you’ll find that all money is blood money.
Language was never fickle on your tongue, French dinner time talk by the time you were out of your Hush Puppy shoes, your mama fixing the au pair a smile as she fixed herself another martini. You learned the clarinet at four and how to dance with the grace of a swansong at six, ethereal under a spotlight, an audience captive in the palm of your hand. By eight you knew that you’d always been destined to be loved. Loved so hard they would want to taste you, bite into the soft plump of your cheek and eat you alive. That was how magnetic you wanted to feel. But mother hamsters eat their own young when penned in together too long, and soon you became too wild, too restless, another package on your father’s delivery invoice, box-shipped out to English boarding school.
Fitting in had never been something you had to concern yourself with. You were always the shiny new toy the other girls wanted to play with, bright like a dropped coin from a magpie’s beak. Wherever you went, you seemed to leave a trail of awe, pig-tailed Harriet’s adoring you, imitating you, teachers forgiving your class-time chatter for the sake of your wild heart and the restless spirit you possessed. Tell us what it’s like in the States, Alma. They’d coo, enamoured by your Hollywood drawl. Does your father own a gun? You hardly knew. Barely even knew the colour of his hair, for the scarce amount of times he’d stoop to kiss your cheek, though you’d tell silver-tongued tales if it’d guaranteed you an audience. When you learned how to smile at the right times, and that flattery would get you everywhere, it soon became apparent that charm would pave the yellow brick road to success even when your lack of drive couldn’t.
The road you followed – gum-snapping, roller-blading, friendship bands all up your arm – eventually led you to small-town fame. Bright-eyed and gingham skirted, you’d always known you were more. There was a hunger in you to be something extraordinary, a want so adamant to be imagined and desired that it was almost savage. In leather-bound volumes and a circle of stones, you were Helen of Troy, the girl for whom they’d launch a thousand ships. But there’s so much rage within you, collecting like sawdust in cavernous parts. Hockey helped. There was something grounding about the feeling of a stick clasped in your hands. Sweat. Stiff knuckles. Feet pounding the earth. The smash of wood against flesh in the scram of a game, passed off as mere enthusiasm. “Slipped, sorry.” Hockey is the one thing you had that was yours alone – a feral instinct that motivates you to play; something primitive within you that sparks an energy like no other. On the pitch, you feel alive.
#lw:intro#i shd probs have done a bullet point version of this but cba#see also: rich bitch with daddy issues - loves attention - wants to have a villa and wear nice dressing gowns and drink wine all day
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so what were YOUR top 10 shows of the year?? (yours is the only opinion i actually trust)
first of all, i’m honored, this is the only ~brand~ i’ve ever wanted.
in no particular order:
bojack horseman (bojack is an extremely special show that did really amazing things this year. it is, i think, a lot harder to remove hope from an optimistic narrative (see search party below) than to inject hope into a narrative that lives in a place of despair. in this season, which was about coping and healing, bojack introduced the idea of hope to a lot of very jaded characters (and some that weren’t previously jaded but really went through serious shit this year). it is also a groundbreaking show in other ways - different members of the main cast rarely shared scenes together this year, which was no accident. sometimes you gotta withdraw and be on your own in order to feel better. it’s very cool that this show gets that and doesn’t need to rely on some of the elements of tv storytelling that we take for granted on other shows.)
crazy ex-girlfriend (i didn’t say this list would be surprising. crazy ex-girlfriend works ten times as hard as any other show to both entertain and provoke critical thought because this show is explicitly written to turn off anyone who would watch it in a superficial manner. this season is dark and upsetting, but it is clear as day that this is just the show coming into its own. this tone is where it lives. like bojack horseman, crazy ex-girlfriend is exceptionally gifted at using things like songs and jokes and sexy stuff and bright colors to make you forget how fucked-up and sad everyone and everything can be.)
nathan for you (look, if you don’t watch this show, i understand why, but i think you’re doing yourself a disservice. it is hard to tell from one single episode that this is an extremely funny show that also tells a very subtle emotional story about persona, identity and yearning. unless that episode is “finding frances” and then you just get it right away. nathan fielder is a genius. i kind of hope there is no fifth season, not because i don’t think he can do better than season four, but because i genuinely don’t think i personally can bear to be driven to an emotional heights greater than what “finding frances” took me to.)
search party (search party is perfectly cast and perfectly directed and it happens to also be perfectly written– in that order. it also pulled off an extremely precarious flip from one tone to another from season 1 to season 2 and it did it not just gracefully but spectacularly. s2 feels like coming into its own, both for the writing and the cast performances.)
american vandal (first of all american vandal is smarter and funnier than many other shows that are taken extremely seriously in the comedy world. but more than that, this show also had some of the most ingenuous character design i’ve seen in a while, even when it comes to characters who were barely explored in s1. you don’t see a lot of peter maldonado types and you certainly don’t see a lot of dylan maxwells. it’s very very good writing. can’t wait for season 2.)
a series of unfortunate events (it aired so early in the year that it’s easy to forget it, but it’s everything i could have asked for from a show with this source material- smart, witty and engaging for kids and also for me, the 24-year-old who wasn’t THAT into the books. i’m due for a rewatch before season 2 airs!)
difficult people (what, like i’m not going to celebrate my very favorite show in the last year i get to do so? difficult people would have ranked on this list even if they hadn’t cast john cho as a bitter gay man and even if they hadn’t done an entire episode insulting woody allen and even if they hadn’t done an episode about how new york jews can’t survive in LA. dayenu. difficult people was exceptional at so many things, from recruiting just the right guest stars to writing just the right songs for the occasional drug trip episode, but above all it was so so good at crafting weekly sitcom plots that have never been done before. i will miss it dearly.)
broad city (i know a lot of people are over this show and there’s certainly something to be said for how abbi and ilana could have learned a little more about how to improve on their known weaknesses over the past four years, but watching these characters grow up and adopt new and shifting identities in the weird world they inhabit continues to be very cool! it feels like a bold writing choice that they can leave their jobs and their relationships and try new things, even if this is such a basic idea that it feels long overdue. i also think ilana in particular really outdid herself with her directorial debuts - “florida” and “bedbugs” were both masterpieces.)
trial and error (it’s hard not to love a charming and snarky show about the weird residents of a small town in this post-parks and rec era, but this show also stood out because it managed to create the single most compelling het sexual tension i’ve seen in my years on this earth)
ryan hansen solves crimes on television (i get it, no one wants to watch this. making fun of procedurals seems easy and ryan hansen just has That Kind of Face where it feels like a waste of time to watch his stuff. but it was good! i laughed out loud at least once per episode. i like meta humor and the general indignity of the multiple conceits to viewers watching on their phones and getting the 90-day free trial of youtube red to watch it. it was extremely accessible and immersive – even the jokes about procedurals were made for people who have never seen a procedural, like me. i loved it!
#ask#og post#noelleakopian#11 would have been dear white people and imposters would have been 12#schitt's creek and always sunny 13 and 14. k done
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Hiii im glad ur back!!❤️ may i request 2p face fam react to their s/o’s corgis? Like they r such sweet and gentle loafs but as soon as s/o leaves the room they arent anymore. ex: theyll sit together and stare at the 2ps with extreme dissapointment and disapproval, and make the atmosphere tense. When he walks into the room theyll briefly look at him and then move on as if they were talking crap about him before😂. (Bonus if they got along w him eventually but they still look displeased... sometimes..)
Ty Anon uwu
Hey guys I had to disappear again because all of my teachers decided that a new quarter meant 1238729343 assignments at once, we love to see it. Since its the weekend though I do not have to limit myself to one post I can make like 5 in a day so here we goes.
2p France: “yeah I have that effect on people”. Honestly animals usually really like Francois, so this is kind of new, but not surprising. The corgis will be staring at Francois and he’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. If the dogs keeps this behavior up Francois’ brain will just fade them out lmao. If the dogs are gonna ignore his existence or talk about him expecting a reaction of some sorts he’s just gonna be like “hmm? Oh! you two do exist my bad, are you hungry? hmm. That's unfortunate-” (he’ll feed the dogs I promise guys he’s just sassy). Because I like the idea of a tired Francois laying around with hyper corgi’s all day though I’m just going to say that they’ll get along and really close at some point. Francois would be working at his desk and the corgi’s know that s/o doesn’t like when Francois works himself to death when he’s sleepy so they’re all cuddly with him until he gives in and goes to bed. This happens a ton of times to the point where the puppies start caring a lot about Francois’ health and well being. And Francois accidentally gets attached so now they’re his b a b i e s.
2p America: His sadness is immeasurable. He’s actually so hurt right now and so dramatic about it. Dogs were supposed to be his thing, at least he thought so. And nOW THEY’RE GOSSIPING ABOUT HIM? OMFG HE’S ABOUT TO C R Y. He refuses to tell his s/o about this because ofc he wouldn’t. Instead he like tries to bribe them with extra treats or bacon or something. If that's not working he’s just gonna be really down for awhile. I feel like the dogs would notice this and feel kinda bad. Seeing a softer side of Al would make them sappy and one day if Allen was just sleeping over at his s/o’s house and the doggos were cuddling in his lap he’d just d i e. Catch them being hella cute spending the rest of the day with each other, rolling around inside and outside the house, his s/o is so confused at the change in energy. He’d nickname them nuggets even if that was longer than their og name-
2p Canada: This is fine. He’s high-key insecure about it but he’s gonna play it off like he’s perfectly fine with it and it doesn’t upset him. If he see’s the dogs talking shit he’ll be hella confrontational “You got somethin’ to say? no? thats what I was thinking”. I feel like Matt would befriend them really easily though because he probably fattens them up and buys them little toys and stuff. I can see Matt being really protective of them too cause they’re so smol and the corgi’s would prolly feel safe around him. Catch shirtless Matt and the corgis being hella cute in a flowery meadow.
2p England: *eyebrow arch* Oliver’s more of a cat person anyway so this doesn’t upset him that much. But on the other hand, sometime when his s/o is gone and he wants a cuddle buddy someone's gotta take the fall. I feel like the first parts of their bitterness would just the dogs scowling and being snarky but Olivers just unbothered and ignores it. Then after awhile Ollie is making them special treats or buying stuff to fatten them up and the the Corgi’s are c o n f l i c t e d. Oliver just coerces them into slowly loving him and ofc he loves them back. His s/o needs to be involved because honestly he will steal all their love and over feed them-. One day when s/o is not looking the corgi’s are lorge and all over Oliver. And Ollie’s just like “teehee yeah I’m just really good with animals ig”. Catch them being hella cute playing around in the kitchen while Ollie’s baking.
#2p hetalia#2p!hetalia#2P#2p!#2pface#2P france#2p america#2p canada#2p england#2p! france#2P!America#2p!Canada#2P!England
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