#All of these are various stages of OLD i’m sorry I forget to post

[inkpoizining-art]

Deltarune OC portrait dump 💕💖💕

3 Addisons, a Mansion resident, and a Spamton Ex ❤︎

[poeticpascal]

Trouble (Pedro Pascal x Rockstar!Reader)

Masterlist | Request here!

Summary: Pedro had never heard of (Y/N) (L/N) before his latest appearance on The Graham Norton Show. By the end, his assistant wishes it had stayed that way, and he wonders how it took him so long to find her.

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: mentions of drug abuse (now recovered), allusions to but no specific mention of an overdose.

A/n: I am very nervous to post this! I've never written a fic about an actor like this before, so depending on how this one does lol, you may be able to expect more from me like this. Please let me know what you think, and don't forget my requests are open!

“And he used red this time! We were getting so worried that he wasn’t interested in all 3 primary colours-”

Pedro sighs, glancing towards the door to see if his assistant was coming back yet. No sign.

He turns back to the old lady who’s been talking now for what - 4 hours? 5? It felt like it. She was sweet, and he didn’t want to be rude, but god if he had to spend one more minute hearing about her grandson’s latest finger painting-

“So sorry I took so long! We’ll have to get going Pedro - your next interview is in 10.”

His assistant - Alicia - burst back into the room and Pedro was sure he could feel his eyes well in relief. He takes the lady’s hand, shaking it and giving her a warm smile. “Mrs Alderman, I’d love to hear all about Harvey, but I’ve gotta go. It was lovely to meet you!”

She smiles in understanding and clasps her own hand on top of his. “It was lovely to meet you too, Peter!”

Alicia snorts behind him, and Pedro gives up with a final, defeated smile before heading out of the cafe and back towards his car. He’d only wanted to nip in for a second, to grab coffee and a pastry, but then Alicia got a phone call, and Mrs Alderman started talking to him in the queue, and by the time they left his goddamn coffee had gone cold.

They clamber inside, Alicia pushing a few files onto the backseat as Pedro stares. “I almost died, you know,” he quips, half muffled as he takes a bite of his croissant. He hums at the taste, light and buttery; maybe it had been worth it.

Alicia rolls her eyes, used to his antics by now. “I was on the phone to the BBC. They’ve confirmed who you’ll be on The Graham Norton Show with.”

“They have? Who?” 

He generally felt nervous going on the big chat shows, especially with how in demand he'd been recently. But Graham had been so warm, especially for his first time on the show, that when they asked him to come back he'd accepted without hesitation.

And really, he was quite looking forward to it.

Alicia doesn't seem quite as excited though. She flips open her notepad, littered with delicate but hasty scribbles of various projects and dates, and begins to read out the names.

“Robert Downey Jr, he’s promoting Oppenheimer.”

“I'm gonna meet Iron Man?” Now he was nervous.

“Kate McKinnon. She's in the Barbie movie, I think.”

“Amazing.” He'd always wanted to meet her.

“And…” she sighs. “(Y/N) (L/N).”

“Who?” No seriously, who?

Alicia snaps her head up to look at him. Surely he didn’t not know who she was? “(Y/N) (L/N)? The singer?”

Pedro just shakes his head, unbothered. “Nah, never heard of her. She any good?”

“No, Pedro, that’s the point.” He cocks an eyebrow, gesturing for her to continue as she looks back and forth between him and her notes. “She’s a publicist’s worst nightmare. She’s the lead singer of this band, The Heartbreakers, they’re huge. Like, Taylor Swift-huge. But if Taylor Swift did heavy metal.”

“And why don't we like her?” he asks.

“Because she’s trouble. She’s had big drug problems, she argues with everyone, she goes on stage and pulls all these crazy stunts. She’s always in the news, Pedro.”

He can’t help but think she sounds like fun.

“Can’t be that bad, right? If she’s that famous?”

Alicia shakes her head, “she's famous, but that doesn’t mean she’s not dangerous. People love you right now, Pedro. I’m just concerned that if you’re seen to be… friendly with her, people will raise their eyebrows. It won’t look good.

He thinks for a second. It really wasn’t in his nature, this whole PR thing. He liked meeting new people, and listening to them, and connecting. Maybe not Mrs Alderman - and now he's thinking about that nightmare again - but, for the most part, yes; Pedro liked people.

And not giving someone a chance because of his public image didn’t feel right.

Alicia sees the cogs turning in his brain, so she flips the pad closed, giving him her full attention now. “I know it’s strange, but I mean it. It’s not a hole you want to get dragged into. Her fandom is huge, the media's obsessed with her, parents hate that their kids listen to her and kids love to piss off their parents by listening to her. I’m going to speak to them about getting you sat on the opposite end of the couch... I just want to make sure you’re not linked with her. Trust me.”

With that, he nods his head. He does trust her - at the end of the day, he didn’t even know who this (Y/N) person was. So what if he didn’t speak to her much on the show?

—------

“WHAT?!”

He had to pull the phone away as Bella’s near-screech pierced his ears. They yell again, something along the lines of “are you serious? Pedro, are you serious?!”

“Yes I’m serious, what’s the big-”

“Oh my god I can’t believe it! You’re going to meet (Y/N) (L/N)! Will you mention her to me? I saw her tweet once that she watched the show and oh my god I need her to follow me on Instagram-”

“Wait, Bella, wait,” Pedro rubs his thumb and forefinger between his brows, not exactly thrilled that what was supposed to be a call to calm his nerves the night before the show was now filled with so much rowdiness. “I don’t even know who she is! You listen to her?”

They gasp, and he just knew they were pulling a dramatic, jaw-dropped face on the other end of the line. “Come on man, I know you’re not the hippest guy around but you have to know who she is!”

He giggles, throwing his hands in the air. “‘Fraid not, Bella. I’ve no clue. I do know i’m not supposed to talk to her though.”

Now there was a real gasp, not the purposefully dramatic kind. “What? Pedro, you can’t not talk to her. You have to. She’s the coolest person, like, ever.”

Pedro scoffs, “what about me?”

“When you get sleeve tattoos and banned from performing at the VMAs, you might get considered dude.”

“She was banned from the VMAs?”

You know that feeling, when someone tells you not to do something, and you don’t want to do anything else?

Yeah, that.

“I’ll send you the link, it was so cool. She said she’ll be allowed back next year anyway 'cos they need her to stay relevant.” He giggles again at that, and yeah, he couldn’t deny his intrigue.

“So that’s why you like her? She's all rebellious and stuff?” Pedro chews on his thumb as he asks, the anxiety of tomorrow not quite forgotten, but listening intently as Bella rants on.

“Nah, I mean she is controversial, but I just think she’s amazing. She acts all tough and rock 'n' roll, but she's really great deep down. I went to see her band once a couple of years ago, and this girl fainted so she stopped the whole show to make sure she got water and was okay. She’s just misunderstood, man.”

“Is it true she’s a drug addict?” He's not sure why he felt the need to ask. Why he cared. Maybe it was just to build a better picture, or maybe because Bella loves her so much, and he cares about their interests. Maybe, he had a sort of… concern, for her. For this enigma.

They knew each other well, and Bella could sense Pedro’s interest. More than anything, they were just excited to tell him about their favourite singer. “She used to be, it was crazy. She’d go on stage high and everything, people really hated her then. But she’s been sober now for, like, a year? She talks about it a lot. This is what I mean dude - everyone remembers all those shitty things but I think she’s so strong.”

He hums in agreement, thinking back to Alicia’s warning a few days earlier.

“Do you think it’d be bad? If I talked to her?”

It was Bella taking a moment’s pause, now. “I mean… Alicia’s not wrong. She’s not exactly got the cleanest image a celebrity’s ever had. I guess it’s up to you to decide what matters most.”

It was quite profound really, and Pedro was reminded of just how mature they were for their age.

“The most important thing is that you give her my instagram handle.”

And just like that, the moment’s gone. He laughs, shaking his head and muttering “you’re a dick”, before falling into conversation about other things. He fully intended to look up (Y/N) (L/N) before he fell asleep, but the hours went by quick and soon enough he'd drifted off, phone in hand and tomorrow's nerves dispelled for now.

—------

Maybe this whole Graham Norton thing was a bad idea.

Pedro was tired.

It had been a long flight to London, a long drive from the airport to his hotel. And a long, long wait at the studio before they even thought about getting filming started.

He’d been in hair and makeup for a good while, and according to Alicia, it would still be another two hour’s wait until they got him sat on the big red couch.

Yeah, he was tired.

He steps out, the muddied skies of London painting a grey-cast shadow on his face, the frosty winds hitting his skin. It was nice. Different. Much harsher than the LA sun he was used to.

He looks around; it’s just him there in the car park, leant against the windowsill and letting his eyes drift shut. It’s peaceful, and if it weren’t for the rushing of the motorway that ran just beside him, he’d almost feel alone.

“Mind if I join?”

He jolts awake, startled out of his near-tranquility, facing the woman who’d crept outside through the same doors he did. She was casually dressed, far more so than the BBC staff he’d seen today; she must be a temp, or an intern or something. A heavy black hoodie swallows her frame, and he wished he had a similar one as his ice-cold breath fell into the air. His eyes draw upwards, and he thinks to himself just how pretty she is. (Y/H/C) hair is bundled in her hood, loose strands blowing messily in the wind. She has no makeup on, so he can see greyish bags hung under her eyes, her lips stained pink, a soft blush blooming over her cheeks from the frosty air. There’s a roughness to her, something harsh, and it makes her so utterly alluring.

“Yeah- yes, of course. Of course.” He offers a smile, and she smiles back, and his heart races.

He shuffles to the left, unsure of why he’s making room for her on the windowsill; they’re outside, he’s a stranger. There’s a bench not far from the door, perfectly fit for her to sit on. And yet she follows his movements, and leans against the porcelain outline of the large window, searching for something in her pockets.

“D'you smoke?” She produces a pack of cigarettes, and digs out a lighter from her back jean pocket. Pedro watches as she slips one of them between her lips, covering the end with delicate hands as she lights it, revelling in the taste and taking a long drag. He notices then her long black nails, perfectly painted and delicately holding the cigarette in place, elegant and weapon-like at the same time.

There’s a nonchalance to everything she does, and it’s enticing. She doesn’t look at him when she asks, or when she expels the smoke from her lungs, keeping her eyes set forward and undoubtedly feeling the weight of Pedro’s on her face.

He forgets he’s supposed to answer.

“Er, no, thank you. I’m being good.” He offers her a smile, forced as he tries to remember his own whereabouts, too entranced by the beauty and the charisma that fell from this woman in droves.

The two are silent for a little while, he can’t be too sure how long. He smells the smoke from beside him, sees the wisps drawl from her tongue and into the cool air, and for someone who considered himself rather charming, he couldn’t for the life of him think of something to say.

He doesn’t have to.

“What're you doing out here, then?”

And this time she is looking at him. They’re sat close, and his eyes meet hers with ease, warm and welcoming. He feels a little more comfortable now, like she’s a friend; her warmness makes it hard to feel anything other than at peace.

He smiles, bashful. “I’m working.”

“Working?”

He looks down at his shoes, rubbing them against one another. It was always a strange conversation to have, explaining who he was to people who didn’t know. It felt like showing off a little; more than anything, he didn’t want to make a big deal of it.

“Yeah, I, uh… on the show.”

She giggles, and it sounds so sweet that his tummy heats up. “I’m only kidding. I know who you are. The Last Of Us, right?”

There’s a sincerity to her tone, nothing like this thick, false charm people try to use when they know he’s famous. It didn’t feel like she wanted anything from him in that moment. He nods, looking back up at her and his breath hitches when they immediately lock eyes again. Her lips are turned into a sly smile, cheeky almost, and he can’t help but grin back.

“I liked that show,” she says before taking another long drag.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me. Makes this fuckin’ huge press tour worth it.”

She laughs. Not the quiet giggle she gave him before, but a proper laugh, one that makes her eyes brighter and her nose scrunch up. Pedro laughs too, caught up in her, and when their chuckles die down they relax into a comfortable silence for a few moments before he turns to her again and asks, “how about you? Are you on the production team?”

She ponders her answer. It’s the first time - in the 10 minutes since they’d met - that she’d seemed to falter. Like she was unsure. “Yeah, you could say that.”

He didn’t push it. Maybe his fame was a problem. Did she feel overwhelmed? Or judged? He didn’t know - but a twang of sadness settled in his gut, and he wondered what to say next.

She recovers quickly, though. Stands back up a little straighter, puts the butt of her cigarette out against the wall, and faces him once again. “You seem nervous."

Pedro chuckles, nervously. “Am I that obvious?”

“Only when you scuff your shoes within an inch of their life and readjust your glasses every 10 seconds.”

“And here I thought I hid it well.” Cocking an eyebrow, the woman looks at him knowingly and tilts her head, encouraging him to go on.

“I always get nervous before these things... it feels worse this time, though. I just know Robert Downey Jr is gonna think I’m so weird, and then there’s this other lady I gotta avoid-”

“Who?”

She was abrupt, quickly apologising for interrupting him. He didn’t mind. “She’s like this... musician? I think. I’m sure you’ll know who she is. I’m awful at keeping up with whatever the kids are doing now. (Y/N)- (Y/N) something.”

There was a pause, awkwardly long. “My assistant says I gotta stay away from her” her continues, feeling a need to fill the gap. “Just doesn’t feel right to me, you know? To judge someone like that before you’ve even met them?”

He watches as she nods her head, deep in thought. She meets his eyes and nods again, faster, showing to him now that she agrees. She understands. He’s not quite sure how she understands, but he believes her; she didn’t strike him as the dishonest sort.

Pedro’s phone vibrates in his pocket, startling them both and they share another soft laugh. He grabs it, seeing Alicia's text flash on the screen - You’ve got a meeting with the producers to go over filming. 10 minutes. Ah shit.

“Everything okay?” There’s concern in her voice, and Pedro wonders if she knows he has to go. If she’s just as disappointed as he is.

“Yeah, yeah. I just - I gotta go.”

She’s definitely disappointed. He knows because her bright eyes fall the same way his did.

He’d never quite felt like this; like a magnet was drawing him to someone and like it would hurt in his soul to let her go. It occurred to him then, he didn’t even know her name, and he’d be damned if he was going to crawl back into the world of PR and publicity stunts and rehearsed answers without finding it out.

“It was nice to meet you. I don’t know if you- you want to get a coffee? Or something? After filming?”

The same harsh edge she had when they met, the one that had slipped and softened as they talked, seemed to have crept back as a once-sweet smile became that sly, cautious smirk. He couldn’t quite understand what she was thinking, what the cogs that so clearly turned in her mind were churning up, but he knew he didn’t care as long as he got to see her again.

“I’d like that.” Pedro sighs in relief, smiling again and sticking out an ice-bitten hand. “I’m Pedro.”

She giggles, offering her own hand and he stalled at the feeling of her fingers wrapped around his own. “I know.” She retorts, and he laughs, and just when she opens her mouth to tell him her own name-

“Pedro! We gotta go!”

Alicia shoves the door open, not even looking up from her phone which was presumably inundated with countless emails and phone calls, and Pedro sighs before looking desperately into the still nameless women’s eyes. She just smiles, dropping his hand and digging hers into her pockets. “Go on. I'll catch you later.”

He nods, swallowing and offering a small, regretful smile before pushing himself off the wall and following Alicia back inside. She huffs at him, speeding back off down the corridor and muttering something along the lines of “these goddamn producers”. He looks back a final time, to where the woman still sits in the windowsill. She waves, and he grins, unable to hide the childlike excitement her little gesture gave him before waving back and letting the door shut behind him.

—------

“We’ve got a fantastic show for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s get some guests on!”

Pedro hears the roar of the audience, only a single wall between them and him as he waits to hear his name. He looks around the room; Robert and Kate are stood with him, chatting away at something he’d stopped listening to a little while ago. He felt better now he’d met them - they were lovely, so down to earth and genuinely happy to chat to him and hear what he had to say. It made him less nervous, and you might even say he was looking forward to this now.

There was no sign of her though. The singer - (Y/N). Alicia had scoffed, “typical,” just 10 minutes earlier, when there had been no sign. And she still wasn’t here.

“We’ve got the newly Emmy-nominated actor, best known for his amazing roles in The Mandalorian and HBO’s The Last Of us,” the audience’s roars got louder, “Mr. Pedro Pascal!”

It’s time.

He pulls his suit jacket a little tighter around himself, laying his palm flat against the bottom of his chest. With the other hand, he waves, smiling brightly at the crowd who cheered him on. Graham greets him, pulling him in for a hug and welcoming him back, before pointing him towards the end of the couch. Pedro gives the audience a final wave, mouthing ‘thank you’s and trying to express his gratitude for the love that filled the room.

Kate and Robert came next, shaking his hand and ‘introducing’ themselves again, despite the fact he’d already met them an hour earlier. A producer runs up to Graham, whispering something in his ear before darting off in the other direction. Graham rolls his eyes playfully, turning towards the audience and announcing, “we’ve got a late one!” The audience laugh, and Graham just organises his cue cards as producers usedthe extra time to prepare the camera angles and get the lighting right.

Graham looks at the couch, smiling with a wink. “Don’t worry - she’ll be here in a minute.”

“Is this (Y/N) again?” Robert asks, grinning.

“You’ve met her?” Pedro jumps in, falling into small talk among the four of them.

“A couple of times now yeah,” Robert replies. “I think she’s great, really funny. She's just… not the most put together person.”

They laugh, and Kate recounts her own story of having to wait on some celebrity or another, entertaining the crowd.

Graham parts from the conversation after around 10 minutes, holding a finger to his ear piece and nodding at whatever he was being told from the other end of the line. He stands up, smiling wide and turning to the audience, “she’s here! We have our rockstar ready.”

Cheers immediately erupt, and Graham turns to the guests to check they’re all ready to carry on with the show. Pedro nods, anticipation building as he spots Alicia from the corner of his eye, keeping watch.

“And don’t worry everyone, we’ll cut that little intermission out!” The room laughs. “Now I’m very glad introduce our last, but certainly not least, guest of the night. She’s the lead singer of Grammy-nominated band The Heartbreakers, she’s one of the most famous women in the world right now, and she’s only a tad terrifying. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome - (Y/N) (L/N)!

The audience becomes the loudest they’ve been all night, standing and yelling as the final guest takes the stage, and -

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It’s her. The woman from outside, the one he’d been thinking about all afternoon. The one whose name he never learned. 

She looks different; she looks like the woman he’d been warned about. She looks dangerous. Where a black hoodie had hung from her shoulders, a black lace dress now clung to her figure and he could see the tattoos that littered her sleeveless arms. The bags under her eyes were gone, as was the pink on her cheeks; her skin was painted, perfected, sculpted with darker shades and glowing radiantly. Her lips were black and glossy, so neatly done that she almost looked like a doll. Thick eyeliner carried a smoky shadow across her eyelid and beyond, drowning the same (Y/E/C) eyes he’d memorised in black.

She was ethereal.

And she was his one, single instruction for the night. Don’t get involved in her.

She waves at the audience, smirking in the same sly way she’d done to him earlier; he saw more clearly that they were the same now. She has the same charm, same charisma, same allure and yet she seems all the more potent now as she strides across the stage in 6 inch heels and pulls Graham into a tight hug, like old friends. She whispers something in his ear, and he throws his head back with a laugh before she saunters to the couch, where the three guests stand up to greet her. She and Kate introduce one another with a kiss on the cheek and a warm smile, before she gives Robert another tight hug and they share a word that Pedro can hear now. “I have to stay here an extra 10 minutes ‘cos of you” Robert quips, causing (Y/N) to pull back and look at him with a cocked brow.

“You know I’m worth it, Downey.”

With that, she turns to face Pedro, and his breath hitches the same way it did when they’d first met. Her grin falters slightly, and there it is again; that honesty. She almost seemed like she was putting on a show, with her slow saunter and cheeky remarks, but there was nothing false about the way she wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes.

“My name’s (Y/N).”

He just laughs. He can’t help it. She makes him feel giddy. “I know.”

The audience’s applause dies down, and (Y/N) takes her spot as the star guest, and the first on the couch closest the Graham. He talks between them and the crowd, commenting on what a great line up they had today, despite certain delays, which has the audience howling again. (Y/N) laughs with them, shaking her head and pretending to cover her face with her hand, before looking up at Graham and saying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? I got held up!”

“Well you have to tell us what happened,” Graham retorts, and they banter as (Y/N) recounts getting stuck in the backstage toilets. She has everyone wrapped around her finger, listening to everything she says and laughing at her jokes, and Pedro can’t find himself believing the warnings Alicia had given him. 

He remembers Bella, and how much praise they had for her, and he gets it. He sees what they see.

“Well you’re here now, that’s all that matters. We actually haven’t seen you for a while!” 

(Y/N) nods, her demeanour becoming slightly more serious. “No, it’s been a strange few months.” 

Graham continues, “the last time you were on the show was 2021. And obviously as most of us here know, you've had quite a difficult time since then, right? Tell me how you’ve been.”

She takes a sharp breath, and Pedro could’ve sworn she glanced up at him before she answers. “Well, yeah. I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that I was struggling with addiction for… most of my career, really.”

“‘No surprise’?” - Graham interjects - “you used to get high on stage!” It seemed judgemental, but it quickly became clear that he and (Y/N) had that sort of friendship, the kind where you can talk to one another so blatantly. She purses her lips at him, and he giggles, which makes her break the feigned offence and giggle too. 

“Look, man, that’s rock and roll.” The room laughs again. “No but seriously, yeah, it just got worse and worse until… well, you know what happened. it was hard. But I’ve gotten clean, I haven’t touched that shit in what, 8 months?” The crowd launch into cheers and applause, echoed by Graham and the other guests. Pedro could see how much it meant to her, how she tried to keep a stoic appearance despite the tears beginning to glisten in her eyes. She mouths a thank you, and he longs to skip right past Robert and Kate to be by her side, to hold her. She recovers quickly, something Pedro notes she seems to do a lot; cover her moments of weakness as soon as they start. Instead she sits up straighter and jokes, “I think everyone’s worried I’m gonna be boring now, without the drugs.”

Graham laughs, “I mean, you are known for being one of the more controversial artists out there.”

“If anything, I think being high slowed me down. I’m just gonna get worse, now.”

“Oh god, don’t say that,” Graham jokes, “you’re going on tour again soon, I’m not sure we can handle it.”

The audience cheer even louder at the mention of the tour, making (Y/N)’s smile grow wider. “Yep, new album, new tour. It’s all happening.”

Graham turns to Pedro suddenly, as if remembering he had three other guests to rope into the conversation. “Do you listen to this sort of music, Pedro? The Heartbreakers?”

And, shit. Pedro can feel Alicia’s eyes burning into him from off-stage, and he recalls her warnings about this very situation.

Don’t make friends with her

Don’t give the media something to talk about

Don’t ruin your reputation

And yet, her voice got quieter and quieter in his head, as the sound of (Y/N)’s laugh and the pierce of her eyes became all he could think about. The decision was pretty easy to make, really.

“I actually hadn’t heard of them, until today.” Graham chuckles at his reply. “But I think I’ll have to start listening.”

The crowd cheer, and the pair lock eyes for what could’ve only been a few seconds, but felt like so much longer. She tries to fight the way the corners of her mouth pull upwards, white teeth poking through painted black lips, but when she sees him smiling back at her she lets them go and drowns in the butterflies she’s so unused to feeling.

God, he was in so much trouble.

[baeddel]

Please. Please can you tell me what a baeddel is and why people (terfs?) used it in a derogatory manner on this website for a hot minute but now no one ever uses it at all

you asked for it, fucker

[2k words; philology and drama]

baeddel is an Old English word. i have no idea where it actually occurs in the Old English written corpus, but it occurs in a few placenames. its diminuitive form, baedling, is much better documented. it appears in the (untranslated) Canons of Theodore, a penitential handbook, a sort of guidebook for priests offering advice on what penances should be recommended for which sins. in a passage devoted to sexual transgressions it gives the penances suggested for a man who sleeps with a woman, a man who sleeps with another man, and then a man who sleeps with a baedling. so you have this construction of a baedling as something other than a man or a woman. and then it gives the penance for a baedling who sleeps with another baedling (a ludicrous one-year fast). then, by way of an explaination, Theodore delivers us one of the most enigmatic phrases in the Old English corpus: "for she is soft, like an adulturess."

the -ling suffix in baedling is masculine. but Theodore uses feminine pronouns and suffixes to describe baedlings. as we said, it's also used separately from male and female. but it's also used separately from their words for intersex and it never appears in this context. all of this means that you have this word that denotes a subject who is, as Christopher Monk put it, "of problematic gender." interested historians have typically interpreted it as referring to some category of homosexual male, such as Wayne R. Dines in his two-volume Encyclopedia of Homosexuality who discusses it in the context of an Old English glossary which works a bit like an Old English-Latin dictionary, giving Old English words and their Latin counterparts. the Latin words the Anglo-Saxon lexicographer chose to correspond with baedling were effeminatus and mollis, and Lang concludes that it refers to an "effeminate homosexual" (pg 60, Anglo Saxon). this same glossary gives as an Old English synonym the word waepenwifstere which literally means "woman with a penis," and which Dines gives the approximate translation (hold on tight) male wife.

R. D. Fulk, a philologist and medievalist, made a separate analysis of the term in his study on the Canons of Theodore 'Male Homoeroticism in the Old English Canons of Theodore', collected in Sex and Sexuality in Medieval England, 2004. he analysed it as a 'sexual category' (sexual as in sexuality), owing to the context of sexual transgressions in the Canons. he decides that it refers to a man who bottoms in sexual relationships with another man. i don't have the article on hand so i'm not sure what his reasoning was, but this seems obviously inadequate given what we know from the glossary described by Dines. Latin has a word for bottom, pathica, and the lexicographer did not use this in their translation, preferring words that emphasized the baedling's femininity like effeminatus, and doesn't address the sexual context at all. Dines, however, only reading this glossary, seems to decide that it refers to a type of male homosexual too hastily, considering the Canons explicitly treat them separately. both Dines and Fulk immediately reduce the baedling to a subcategory of homosexual when neither of the sources to hand actually do so themselves.

by now it should be obvious why, seven or so years ago, we interpreted it as an equivalent to trans woman. I mean come on - a woman with a penis! these days I tend to add a bit of a caution to this understanding, which is that trans woman is the translation of baedling which seems most adequate to us, just as baedling was the translation of effeminatus that seemed most adequate to our lexicographer. but the term cannot translate perfectly; its sense was derived from some minimal context; a legal context, a doctrinal context, and so forth... the way Anglo-Saxons understood sex/gender is complicated but it has been argued that they had a 'one sex model' and didn't regard men and women as biologically separate types, which is obviously quite different from the sexual model accepted today; in any case they didn't have access to the karyotype and so on. the basic categories they used to understand gender and sexuality were different from ours. in particular, Hirschfield et al. should be understood as a particularly revolutionary moment in the genealogy of transsexuality; the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft essentially invented the concept of the 'sex change', the 'transition', conceived as a biological passage from one sex to the other. even in other contexts where (forgive me) #girlslikeus changed their bodies in some way, like the castration of the priestesses of Cybele, or those belonging to the various historical societies which we believe used premarin for feminization [disputed; see this post], there is no record that they were ever considered men at any stage or had some kind of male biology that preceded their 'gender identity.' the concept of the trans woman requires the minimal context of the coercive assignment at birth and its subsequent (civil and bio-technological) rejection. i have never encountered evidence that this has ever been true in any previous society. nonetheless, these societies still had gendered relations, and essentially wherever we find these gendered relations we also find some subject which is omitted or for whom it has been necessary to note exceptions. what is of chief interest to us is not so much that there was such a subject here or there in history (and whatever propagandistic uses this fact might have), but understanding why these regularities exist.

a very parsimonious explanation is that gender is a biological reality, and there is some particular biological subject which a whole host of words have been conjured to denote. if this were the case then we would expect that, no matter what gender/sexual system we encounter in a given society, it will inevitably find some linguistic expression. if, like me, you find this idea revolting, then you should busy yourself trying to come up with an alternative explanation which is not just plausible, but more plausible. my best guesses are outside the scope of this answer...

anyway, all of this must be very interesting to the five or six people invested in the confluence of philology and gender studies. but why on earth did it become so widely used, in so many strange and unusual contexts, in the 2010s? we're very sorry, but yes, it's our fault. you see apart from all of this, there is also a little piece of information which goes along with the word baeddel, which is that it's the root of the Modern English word bad. by way of, no less, the word baedan, 'to defile'. how this defiled historical subject came to bear responsibility for everything bad to English-speakers doesn't seem to be known from linguistic evidence. however, it makes for a very pithy little remark on transmisogyny. my dear friend [REDACTED] made a playful little post making this point and, good Lord, had we only known...

it went like this. its such a funny little idea that we all start changing our urls to include the word baeddel. in those days it was common to make puns with your url (we always did halloween and christmas ones); i was baeddelaire, a play on the French poet Baudelaire. while we all still had these urls a series of events which everyone would like to forget happened, and we became Enemies of Everyone in the Whole World. because of the url thing people started to call us "the baeddels." then there was "a cult" called "the baeddels" and so forth. this cult had various infamies attatched to it and a constellation of indefensible political positions. ultimately we faced a metric fucking shit ton of harassment, including, for some of my friends, really serious and bad irl harassment that had long-term bad awful consequences relating to stable housing and physical safety and i basically never want to talk about that part of my life ever again. and i never have to, because i've come to realize that for most people, when they use the word baeddel, they don't know about that stuff. it doesn't mean that anymore.

so what does it mean? you'll see it in a few contexts. TERFs do use it, as you guessed. i am not quite sure what they really mean by it and how it differs from other TERF barbs. i think being a baeddel invovles being politically active or at least having a political consciousness, but in a way thats distinct from just any 'TRA' or trans activist. so perhaps 'militant' trans women, but perhaps also just any trans woman with any opinions at all. how this was transmitted from tumblr/west coast tranny drama to TERF vocabulary i have no idea. but you will also find - or, could have found a few years ago - i would say 'copycat' groups who didn't know us or what we believed but heard the rumours, and established their own (generously) organizations (usually facebook groups) dedicated to putting those principles into practice. they considered themselves trans lesbian separatists and did things like doxx and harass trans women who dated cafabs. if you don't know about this, yes, there really were such groups. they mostly collapsed and disappeared because they were evildoers who based their ideology on a caricature. i knew a black trans woman who was treated very badly by one of these groups, for predictable reasons. so long-time readers: if you see people talking about their bad experiences with 'baeddels', you can't necessarily relate it to the 2014 context and assume they're carrying around old baggage. there are other dreams in the nightmare.

the most common way you'll see it today, in my experience, is in this form: people will say that it was a "slur" for trans women. they might bring up that it's the root of the word bad, and they might even think that you shouldn't use the word bad because of it, or that you shouldn't use the word baeddel because it's a slur. all of this is a silly game of internet telephone and not worth addressing. except to say that it's by no means clear that baeddel, or baedling, were slurs, or even insulting at all. while Theodore doesn't provide us with a description of how we can have sex with a baedling without sinning, and it may be the case that any sexual relations with a baedling was considered sinful, sexuality-based transgressions were not taken all that seriously in those days. there was a period where homosexuality within the Church was almost sanctioned, and it wasn't until much later that homosexuality became so harshly proscribed, to the extent that it was thought to represent a threat to society, etc. and as i mentioned, there are places in England named after baedlings. there is a little parish near Kent which is called Badlesmere, Baeddel's Lake, which was recorded in the Anglo-Saxon Domesday Book (as having a lord, a handful of villagers and a few slaves; perhaps only one or two households). it's not unheard of, but i just don't know very many places called Faggot Town or some such. it's possible that baedlings had some role in Anglo-Saxon society which we are not aware of; it could even have been a prestigious one, as it was in other societies. there is just no evidence other than a couple of passing references in the literature and we'll probably never have a complete picture.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

TOSHIYA AT JOE YOKOMIZO CHANNEL 4TH FEB TRANSLATION/NOTES 4/4

Joe Yokomizo Channel

Guest: Toshiya (Dir en grey)

Notes before reading: This is the translation/notes of the livestream on Joe’s Niconico channel with Toshiya as a guest last 4th February.  This is part 4. The livestream was one hour and fifty min approx. This part covers the last 20 minutes. The livestream is no longer available at Joe Yokomizo Channel but you can check the translation of the previous parts at my tumblr. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS are appreciated ------------------ (First part here) (Second part here) (Third part here) Joe: That’s it. I’m going to ask you…. They are asking.... how do the other members call you, Toshiya… Toshiya: Mostly….”Toshiya”…. Joe: Toshiya? Toshiya: Yes Joe: Just “Toshiya”. Toshiya: That’s it… maybe sometimes…..they say it in an easy way….it’s not like like they attach anything (suffix) like -kun or -chan to my name….they say it in a normal way…. Joe: “Toshiya”, “Toshiya”…. What ice cream are you recently addicted to? Toshiya: Recently… Joe: That’s the question… Toshiya: Recently….somehow….as I’m lazy… Joe: You are lazy….yes, yes, you said that at the beginning of the program…. Toshiya: As expected….I gained a bit of weight…. Joe: *surprised* It doesn’t look like that at all… Toshiya: Now…..I lost some weight… Joe: You did? Toshiya: I did….so I’m not eating sweet things now… Joe: Now you are not eating sweet things…. Toshiya: Yes Joe: I see…. that’s why he is not eating ice creams recently!..... Toshiya: I don’t… Joe: These kind of questions are a bit harsh but if you have to choose….tsubuan (coarse sweet bean paste) or koshian (fine-grained sweet bean paste)? Toshiya:*Enthusiastically* I like both! Joe: You like both…. Toshiya: But I would say koshian? Joe: If you had to choose, it would be koshian….now there is a question related to The Freedom of Expression, a youtube program I do with Kaoru. “Joe also does  The Freedom of Expression with Kaoru. I would like to hear any stories with Kaoru”. Toshiya: With Kaoru?....well…..mmmmm……*chuckles*…. Kaoru…..Surprisingly, there are many stories of just the two of us that would make you laugh…. Joe: I see…. stories that you can’t tell here…. Toshiya: *nods* That’s right… yes yes….*laughs*…mmmmmm….that’s right…..*laughs* Joe: That’s it….*laughs* Toshiya: Surprisingly…. Joe: Surprisingly…. Toshiya: Unexpectedly…. Joe: I get it… They both laugh. Toshiya: It’s like….I feel like maybe they might be not so open-minded….. Joe:  You can’t…..that’s it…. it would be many grow-up/adult conversations….. Toshiya: *laughs* Grow-up/adult conversations…. Joe: That’s ok… Toshiya: That’s it….but something really…..it applies to the other members as well…..they are all caring/considerate people….they are really like that….what I hate the most when I’m drinking….what I hate the most is people who are in bands that talks shit about other members…. Joe: I see Toshiya: I really hate that…. Joe: I can’t stand that… Toshiya: It’s like…..(they act) as it is ok to talk shit/say bad things when you drink…..much less about members…. Joe: Talking about another member…. Toshiya: I’m like….”I think you should stop doing that”…. Joe: Like “you should speak face-to-face”….it feels like something you should say directly to the members…. Toshiya: I hate that kind of thing….some people say stuff like that sometimes….it’s such a turn-off…. Joe: It really kills the mood….that’s totally it…..because no one chose the band members for you….you are playing in that band because you want to…. Toshiya: That’s it…. Joe: That’s it…..but that happens…..I see…. Toshiya: Before this, at a Liberal Democratic Party meeting…..they took a questionnaire, they weren’t complaining about the organization but they were many people who didn’t like it (the questionnaire). Because they are all adults, right? To some extend, I feel that  it’s important that you see things from a rational point of view…. *Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) is a conservative political party in Japan that has almost continuously been in power since its foundation in 1955.   Joe: Certainly….the good thing about rock….of course it has an aggressive/offensive side but, in the end rock is something positive, isn’t it? Toshiya: That’s right… Joe: Because it’s the power of the people what pushes your forward…. Toshiya: Thereby, you are pushed forward by others…. Joe: Right…. So even if there are things that you might hate about it, to me, the power of rock is finding the good things/side…. Toshiya: That’s right….Taking that direction is rather easier…. Joe: For sure….

Toshiya: The things that you don’t like…..it’s like they become invisible… Joe: Right… Toshiya: It’s better not to see them…. Joe:  True… Toshiya: Even though I can see them…. Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: I’m being too honest/serious…. Joe: No,no….that’s important….. Then I have the following question…. What protein do you drink? Toshiya: Protein?.....Sabas….

Joe: Sabas?...... Toshiya: Yes Joe:  Is that so?  Sabas? Toshiya: The blue one mostly….I’ve been drinking it recently to lose weight…. Joe: I see….what shampoo or hair product do you use? Toshiya: Shampoo?....mmmmm…what it would be…..about that….surprisingly I use the ones  I get from fans…. Joe: Is that so? You don’t use specific ones…..I’m already at that point….As I’m already 52 years old….*takes off his hat* they told me that my hair is at stage 4, hair restoration is hard….I’m using a hair growth formula that costs 6000 yen per bottle. *The stages of male pattern baldness are measured on a scale from 1 to 7. By stage 4, there is significant hair loss. Toshiya: If you are getting bald, it can’t be helped right? Joe: There is nothing you can do…. What would you do?....if you go bald… Toshiya: Well….mmmm…. I would shave my hair off…. Joe: You would shave it off? I think it would look good on you…. Toshiya: If you think about it, there is nothing that you can do…. Joe: Certainly….*laughs*…..Certainly….I’m going to ask you another question, because we have so many….What was your nickname when you were a kid?.... Toshiya: When I was a kid?.....what was it?....mmmmm….usually….I wonder….I don’t remember it…. Joe: You don’t remember? Ohhh Toshiya: Mmmmm…..*starts laughing suddenly*… this was interesting though…..*laughs* Joe: What is it? Why are you already laughing?….. Toshiya: I’m sorry…..*laughs*….I’m really sorry…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: This is again about Shinya…. Joe: It’s fine…. Toshiya: Shinya, don’t get mad….I think it’s ok because he told it himself but…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: When he was asked what was his nickname in the past…..he said it was “liar”….. Joe:* Burst into laugther* That’s so bad….as a person….it’s too amusing…. Toshiya: For real….I really think they are all interesting people….. Joe: It's hard for him to talk much, isn’t it? Does he talk a lot? When I asked him, he just answers……he was amazing…..”liar”….. Toshiya: *laughs* “Liar”…. Joe: Amazing….. Well we are getting closer to the end of the program….. What is your favorite song from Dir en grey? Toshiya: Mmm….I wonder…..I like all of them….I feel strongly about all of them… Joe: I see… Toshiya: I feel strongly about them…..I really feel strongly…. When I think about them…..the feelings and the state of mind of the time (when they were done)….. Joe: Every song……all of them were fun to make but it seems that it was also hard…. Toshiya: Yes, that’s it….that’s true… Joe: Right?....if you play them at a live…..various memories will come…. Toshiya: That’s right…. Most of them were hard….. Joe: Making songs…..that’s such a hard thing….but the fact that there are people who will listen to them, people who are waiting for those songs…. Toshiya: What makes me the happiest about making songs, it’s that for a person, it will become something memorable even if is left in the past….. Joe: Something that will be there…. Toshiya: The feeling that you had when you listened to that song will remain. Like….somehow….any occasion….like a dir en grey album was released at the time you were cleaning the closets and you were listening to it….things like that….that someone was listening to it at moments like those….I’m really grateful. If this can become a page in a person’s life, I’m really grateful. Joe: That's a really nice thing, isn’t it? Toshiya: Time ago…. I was drinking with Baba from Dragon Ash…. Joe: Oh Baba….. Baba who passed away….. *They are talking about Ikuzo Baba “Ikuzone”,  Dragon Ash’s bassist, who passed away in 2012. Toshiya and Ikuzone were interviewed and appeared together at the cover of Bass Magazine No. 228 June 2010* Toshiya: He said that……if you are not forgotten…..you will be able to live forever…. Joe: I see… Toshiya: Baba said this talking about Hide….. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: If you are forgotten…..I don’t think you will be able to live…. Joe: Well, Baba is still living in us, isn’t he? Toshiya: Of course he is. Those words that he said to me….even now…..those words resonate with me…. Joe: Certainly…..those words  are really good…aren’t they? Toshiya: I think those words were very Baba-ish…. Joe: Certainly…..because the music will remain forever….even if you forget about it for a moment….it may now always be part of  your playlists….but it will come out eventually… Toshiya: That’s right…..somehow…..mmmmm…. I want you to listen to Dir en grey forever…..*laughs* Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I want that to happen but I don’t know (if it will happen)……but……if it bring you memories of that time….that….makes me really happy and grateful…. Joe: I see…..everybody is taking this chance to write the dir en grey songs they like at the comments…..there are many comments appearing on screen…..lastly….there is one more questionnaire for Toshiya….February 2021 has just started….. the emergency state has been extended and we are all in a difficult situation but…..I wonder what are his goals, dreams or plans for this year……ah! Amazing *points at the comments* Thank you for writing so many comments…. Toshiya: Thank you… Joe: All of them…..”Yokan”…. I see…..”Child Prey”….there are many songs there….”Ranunculus”….ahh, Ranunculus is such a great song…..I really like “Ranunculus”…. Toshiya: Ah….it’s really a good song…. Joe: It’s an amazing song…..”Ningen wo Kaburu”…..write more, write more…..we are looking at your comments while we are drinking….please, we are going to use a paper sheet again….*pointing at the notebook on the floor* Toshiya: Ah,yes….*picks it* Joe: About this year….. something like a close goal….you said you were lazy  a while ago but….I want you to think about a positive keyword for 2021….amazing….you all are writing a lot of comments….”Lotus” is there too….amazing….”Rinkaku”….they are writing many songs…..”Zakuro”…..that’s a great song……”Utafumi”….thats a more recent song…..it’s a good song too….. Toshiya:  Somehow…..the songs that we have made…..probably…. Honestly, I can’t say  that Dir en grey is going to be there forever…. I always think about it as walking on thin ice….honestly….somehow….when Dir en grey is gone…..the things that we did….like our legacy…..I think that would be the songs after all….. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: If we are remembered that way…..I would be really thankful….. Joe: That’s right….they are writing “please don’t be gone”…..of course that’s what we all want, that Dir en grey never ends... Toshiya: Of course…. Joe: Of course no one wants Dir en grey to disappear, I’m not saying it with that intention….. Toshiya: I don’t think about it but I can’t promise…..I can’t do that…. Joe: That’s right…..because a band it’s a miracle…. Toshiya: I think so… Joe: Many things you do are miracles…..because not many people can do that… Toshiya: I don’t know….All this….I really just cant do it (by myself)…. Joe: That’s why I think it’s so great that you can perform and produce things…. Toshiya: I agree…. Joe: Definitely, there will a tomorrow and a day after tomorrow…. Toshiya: I agree… Joe: Yes…. Toshiya: That’s it….So, at this time with Corona going on…. I have thought about a lot of things inside my head….but after all, I thought about what was the most negative thing about this situation for me….when I thought about that…..I think the most negative thing for me is that the activities of these 5 people  are reduced…. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: I don’t think it will last forever….I think that the other members feel the same than me…of course, I want to continue doing this as long as I’m alive…. Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I don’t know…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: With that in mind, last year…..2020….somehow we could only do things as a band at the beginning of the year…that’s it….I feel like  the time of these five people doing things  together has been dramatically reduced……that’s really…..I think it’s very frustrating/annoying….. Joe: I see. That’s why I’m sure the next single is going to be amazing and strong….something that it’s going to make you think hard…. Toshiya: I want it to be something that remains…. Joe: Also the concert screening tour is going to start soon….I hope that everyone as well while believing in every moment, support it… So, what kind of goals or thoughts has Toshiya for 2021? What ideas has installed into his heart? I told him to express them in one kanji…please take a look…. Toshiya: It’s a bit so-so…. Toshiya shows the kanji he wrote. Joe: There it is…. Toshiya: Yes Toshiya wrote “動” (motion). Joe: “Motion” Toshiya: *Laughs* “Motion”…..yes….. Joe: Yes…movement…. Toshiya: Movement….that’s the main thing……I think it’s the main thing right now….unless something “moves”….I knew that nothing was going to happen last year but this year I want us “to move” as much as possible….as much as possible….Of course I want to meet the fans ( at a concert) again but over all, I want  the five of us to move forward…. Joe: That’s good… Toshiya: That’s the main thing I want….. Joe: The band moving forward..…. please everyone look forward to that….the concert screening tour will start soon and although the release date hasn’t been set yet, a new single will be released in the spring. The next action has already begun in pre-production, so when the situation allows it, we all can meet at the live venue again…. Toshiya: That’s it….really…..I want them to come but honestly I can’t tell them to come….that’s it…..if something happens, it’s going to be the hardest thing for us….somehow….that something happens to the people who say that like Dir en grey….that’s the thing I hate the most… Joe: That’s right… that something happens to the people who loves you…..that’s the worst…. Toshiya: It is….it’s the worst…. Joe: For real… Toshiya: For real, I really hate it… Joe: That's right. That's why we should take good measures against infection. We are still in a difficult situation at this time….at an emotional level too…..and after all, I think that some people are also feeling (emotionally) weak…. Toshiya: That’s why that I got this opportunity to be here….that you all are watching this….it make me happy… Joe: Well, finally, what was promised….he’ll take off his sunglasses and say goodbye…but before….next week a new program will be broadcasted….next week Shinya from LUNA SEA…. Toshiya: Oh! Joe: He’ll come to the program…. Toshiya:  A big senpai…. Joe: Isn’t he? He got infected with Corona virus…. Toshiya: Ah, that’s it….it surprised me… Joe: The concert they had at the end of the year had to be suspended…. Toshiya:  That’s right….that some people said you did something bad/wrong… Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: So  that you ended up like that (infected with the virus)…. Joe: It’s not like he was doing it on his own….but on the contrary, it seems that Shinya also seems to have thought about that, about all the things he did around that time…. Toshiya: It’s really…..to blame someone for that…. Joe: That’s definitely wrong… Toshiya: I think it’s nonsense… Joe: I think that everyone here thinks the same about this….*pointing at the comments* they didn’t do anything wrong….anything wrong….its seems that everyone here knows that…. As for Toshiya, you said you would come after the single is released and you will sing “Jesus” with you sunglasses off… this was decided today…. Toshiya: But it must get the approval of LUNA SEA members….if they don’t approve it, I won’t do it…. Joe: I will get it!.... Toshiya: No,no… Joe: I’m going to get the label president confirmation…. Toshiya: *Laughs* Sakanoue? *Masatoshi Sakanoue is Luna Sea’s  executive producer* Joe:  Sakanoue….*nods* I’m going to ask for his approval… Toshiya: Nooo…..*raises his arms and squeals*….stop it…. Joe: I’m going to confirm it with him…. I’m going to get his approval Toshiya:*Laughs* For real?....I’ll play bass!… Joe: No, no….anything it’s ok but you have to sing…..the bass….it’s going to be like “he is playing bass as always”…. Toshiya: It's really embarrassing….if you could insert some blurring effect/pixelating…. Joe: I’ll! I will insert some blurring with a mosaic effect….but you have to sing….you can play the bass too if you want…. Toshiya: And some…for the voice…..how is it call?...that thing that changes it… Joe: To change it…..some voice distortion….like if you were interrogating…. Toshiya: That thing that makes your voice super high…. Joe: “It’s decided, he’ll sing while playing the bass”…..everyone is so spoiled…… Toshiya: Yes… Joe: Well, finally…at the end of the program he is going to take off his sunglasses and say goodbye to all of you….*Toshiya is about to get the sunglasses off but it’s stopped by Joe* First the message….then you take off the sunglasses at the end when you say bye bye to them…. Toshiya: Well….today was….arggg…..I really hate this *cleans the sweat of his fronthead* I’m sweating a lot…. Joe:*Laughs*I’m sorry…. Toshiya: It was really fun…. Joe: Thank you…. Toshiya: If you laughed watching this…..that would be the best….that would be the best now…we would be thankful for that and it would make us happy….Yes, that’s it. Next time I’ll come after the releasing of “Oboro” and we’ll have a good drink with you all again…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: Thank you for today….. Joe: Thank you for watching…. Well, while he says goodbye after taking his sunglasses off, I want to thank you for today. *Toshiya laughs and takes his sunglasses off* Tonight’s guest was Toshiya from Dir en grey! Thank you for watching! Toshiya: Thank you for watching! *waves* Joe: Bye, bye! *clapping* Toshiya is on screen, shyly, waving goodbye and then covers his face with his hands. The image fades and the logo of the channel appears. *Thank you for reading :)*

[quillify-tries-to-talk]

I think I figured out the problems in Roshani Chokshi and Sandhya Menon's books (as much as I love them, their Indian rep doesn't resonate with me as much as I'd hoped).

DISCLAIMER: not hating. There are valid issues that PoC face in foreign countries and I'm not trying to invalidate them. This is just an opinion

A little background first. Contrary to what you're shown in Hollywood movies, south asian countries are not a wasteland of forests and slums, but the situation isn't great, either.

Majority of the population is somewhere in the middle class rungs that often comes with a plethora of issues starting from academic pressure to feelings of guilt and anxiety over spending money on yourself. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. (Colonial trauma is a bitchy, vicious cycle).

It is a privilege to leave the country, to have enough money to live an entire ocean away. Not all of us will ever be able to do that so we'll have to deal with whatever shit is thrown in our faces by the society and government (the CAA/NRC act, privatization of govt institutions, the farmer bills that aren't actually pro-farmer, covering up atrocities in the most outlandish ways, controlling media houses so actual news never reaches common people, catering to billionaires, mismanaging the pandemic and opening your eyes only when you see the ashes).

Not to mention a lot of Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) are wealthy, upper caste people, absolutely cloistered from the atrocities that occur everyday against marginalized communities.

So when I read books by Indian-American authors, my feelings are mixed. If they're set in historical times my anger is through the roof. Let's take an example.

Laila from The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi gave me immense joy at first for being beautiful, bold brown girl. But as I read further, my feelings started to grow more negative.

It's because of the way Chokshi did zero research on South Asian colonization of the British while waxing poetic about the tragic fates of her male characters. Laila is from Pondicherry, and the French colonized that place (we only get mentions of forests and magicians because apparently that's all there was in the 1800s, huh :))). We have no idea how she ended up in Paris, or how as an 18 year old brown girl she took up a job as a courtesan/sex worker (I don't have a problem with sex work, but I would like to know how she got that job and I would like to see her childhood and trauma explored. Okay, Severin gets pages of backstories about his fathers but his love interest doesn't?). She didn't have a surname first while everyone else did. And now, in the second book we move with the fact that we have zero ideas for her real name too. For a book that's about colonization, desi history gets ignored by the author, and instead Laila is sexualized af. I'd like to ask what's her role in the story beyond causing Severin angst, baking, reading objects for him, and being a generally sweet person? Chokshi keeps *telling* me that she isn't there for Severin and is her own person, but where's the proof? She has no backstory, no name, and no role beyond romance and smexy courtesan.

Like Wikipedia has a whole ass page. Wouldn't have taken much to just Google it all. And for an author of south asian ethnicity to ignore this, the way white historians do? Reeks of privilege.

Her MG series, The Pandava Quartet, is also set in America. A story.... about Hindu mythological legends... in America.... it was jarring to read, honestly. For once in my life I'd like to see something *not* being set in America. America is not the center of the world for crying out loud.

Same with Sandhya Menon's books. We'll leave out her twisted idea of feminism: gurls ruleeesss!! Boys droolzz. It was very obvious in When Dimple Met Rishi, with the way Dimple kept hitting and punching Rishi, and it was deemed as badass. All her boys have the same archetype: Love Interest Cameras.

Y'know, romance works with *two* characters, right? Two of them, each bringing something to the table for a healthy, balanced relationship that progresses slowly through various stages (because real life often isn't a Bollywood movie). Boys need to have good role models and a role beyond "hot, sexy love interest." Y'all have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Wait, I derailed. Sorry.

Ahem. Back to the topic.

I shouldn't have been shocked, but I truly was while reading Menon's books. It just made me realize the privilege a lot of NRIs have and they don't even realize it.

Case in point: most of Menon's characters are all wealthy and loaded af, and that makes them extremely hard to relate to. They are disconnected from their culture, they don't speak any of the native languages, not even a little bit. The little mentions we got were so inaccurate, they made me grit my teeth and make a whole post about it. It feels as though she just slapped a south asian name on a white—I'm not even gonna call them characters—they're basically puppets for her romances (who tf kisses right into 3-4 chapters of a book, c'mon!).

I'd have expected such disconnect from a white author *side-eyes Cassandra Clare*, but not from someone of my own ethnicity. It was heartbreaking. I'm sorry if you don't agree but I had to get this off my chest

Again, BIPOC in foreign countries have issues that need to be examined, but we keep forgetting that most of them aren't in America. We're living in our countries, and there are a host of marginalized communities whose stories need to be heard, now more than ever.

[starkatana]

All You Need to Know

Jason Todd X Female Reader

WordCount: 2813 (it’s long!~)

Summary: Jason proposes to you and you two have a smaller wedding with the BatFam in attendance at your Vegas wedding.

Author’s note: So, here begins my various one-shots of Jason Todd/Red Hood x Reader//y/n AKA my current obsession. I may compile all of them into chronological order once everything is done. I just really wanted to write and post something. I just have too many WIP’s right now that I need to focus on.

They aren’t exact ages. This is just a world that I made using these characters because I can. In this AU, Jason has died and come back to life. You two broke up and you dated Peter Parker (Spider-Man) for a little bit. At this point, you and Jason are 24-ish?

You are a dancer who works at a dance studio.

Sorry if its a little out of character, this is just based on my knowledge that tumblr has given me.

I used this post from fandomneeds!

Jason’s vows is the song: All You Need to Know by Gryffin

Hope you enjoy!

Jason scratched his head and crumpled up the vows he was working on.

“Ugh.”

Roy peeked into Jay’s room, “Having a hard time?” He cocked a sarcastic smile at his best friend.

“Fuck. Every time I try to write something it seems just so stupid and cookie cutter.”

“Aren’t those what vows are? Just telling the person you want to spend the rest of your life with them sickness and in health blah blah.”

“Yeah.” Jason shrugged, “I have basic vows for the Gotham wedding, but for the wedding this weekend, I just want them to be different and less like everything else.”

“Well, what do you want to say?”

“Exactly.”

Roy laughed. “You’ve read a million books you’re telling me that you can’t string the most romantic scenes and moments together?”

Jason sat back in the chair.

“What does she need to know? What are you confessing in front of the hardest people you need to impress? Me and the rest of your siblings.”

“It's not for you guys. It’s for us.”

“Then what do you want to tell her?”

Jason sat back in his chair with his hand behind his head, remembering the evening he asked you to marry him.

It happened to be a night that you and Jason didn’t have patrol, so you two made a date night out of it. The two of you are sitting in a booth at your favorite local diner. You two managed to keep it a secret from everyone else in the Batfam so they wouldn’t just show up and surprise you two. It’s late at night and you two had been there so often that the wait staff had your orders memorized. He was sitting across from you with his arms outstretched over the back of the booth as he listened to you talk with a half-smirk on his face.

You were sitting back in your booth just going on about your students from the dance studio. He loved how passionate you were about your job and how much you cared for other people. You two had been through so much, even when he had been an ass to you. You somehow took him back after everything he said and put you through. He was grateful for that. Life made sense with you.

“Hello? Earth to Jason.” You were waving your hand in his face snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Are you even listening?”

“Yeah! You were saying how you had to help some of your kids with their science and math homework and how you don’t miss science and math homework. Then you told me about the puppies you saw on your way to work today. And no, I still don’t think getting a dog is a good idea.”

“Okay, so you were listening,” you chuckle, “Sorry you just looked zoned out. I thought I was just rambling.”

“No.” Jason sits up leaning forward in the booth putting his hands on the table. “I like listening to you talk.”

You smile and instinctively lean into him as he takes on of your hands and with the other, you stir your milkshake. He gently rubs over your thumb. Basking in the comfortable silence and the background noise of the diner. Still holding his hand you sit back in the booth and close your eyes. If only every night could be this comfortable.

“Y/n.”

“Hm?” You respond without opening your eyes. He squeezes your hand.

“Will you marry me?”

You open an eye and take a peek at him. He was still sitting across the table from you. He hadn’t moved and was looking right at you.

He couldn’t possibly be serious. You chuckle. “Shut up.” You respond closing your eyes again.

“No, I’m serious.”

You take your hand back and sit up in the booth and stare at him half confused and half suspicious. You narrowed your eyes trying to gauge his reaction. Almost expecting him to go “Haha. Gotcha.” Or “I’m kidding.” You don’t know why he’d joke like that but you don’t know why he’d be asking you to marry him.

Marriage was something you two talked about but it was also something you two would just let happen when it felt most comfortable. You knew you wanted to be with him and he with you. So, you weren’t sure why you thought he was kidding.

“I know I don’t have a ring and I know I’m not down on one knee but I want to spend the rest of my life with you and after everything that happened I know you’re the one I want to spend my life with. I’m planning to get you a ring but I wanted to get you something with my money, not Bruce’s.  I couldn’t wait to ask you.”

“Jay....”

“Do you want me to get on one knee? I will if you want.” he begins to stand up.

“No.” You grab his hand and set him back down, “No it’s okay. I’d love to marry you. I’ll happily marry you. No ring needed. No need to get on one knee.”

He squeezes your hand.

“Should we just run away?” He teased.

“And have Roy be our witness and third wheel forever?”

“And always.”

You two share a kiss across the table.

“I got it.”

You two decided to elope to Vegas. You two were going to have a real wedding soon where paparazzi would be “invited” your mom would be there and all your business colleagues, Wayne enterprises, socialites, and other Gotham elite it would be a wedding for everyone. But you and Jason wanted a smaller ceremony for the two of you first. What started small as in you, Jay, and Roy. Turned into a Batkid affair. So you, Jason, Roy, Dick, Duke, Tim, Damian, Cas, Steph, and Babs all flew out to Vegas. Your first day in Vegas while everyone was out walking around together around the Vegas strip. You and Jason decided on a small stage space close to the end of the “Venetian” river.

It was Vegas wedding day. Roy stood beside Jason. They weren’t wearing tuxes but they were dressed nicer. Jason had on black pinstriped pants, a red button-up with the sleeves rolled up with a black-tie done loosely with a black vest on. Roy had on black dress pants with a yellow dress shirt rolled up like Jason’s and unbuttoned near the top with suspenders on.

The two of them were making small talk, to help calm Jason’s nerves. The plan was for him and Roy to be there with the photographer before the impromptu wedding. Then the rest of the family would appear shortly after. Jason had his hands in his pant’s pockets and laughed at Roy’s joke.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“It’s not every day, I get to marry my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you cheat on y/n with me.”

Jason rolled his eyes at Roy. When Roy gave him a big smile and pointed behind Jay.

Jason turned around and Dick was leading the train of the Batfam. Jason tried to look past them all to get a glimpse of you, but they had you perfectly hidden behind them.

At this point, the passersby that were minding their own business began to stop and hang around, some kept minding their own business, while others were interested in the show. Dick greeted Jason first, he patted his shoulder, “Congrats, Little Wing.” Jason gave his brother a light punch in the arm and Dick moved aside. Following Dick was Tim who also gave him congratulations. Then there is Duke, where the two shared a hug. Cass was after and gave him a fake one-two punch in the gut followed by a hug. Next was Steph and then Babs, who he shared a hug with both of them.

“You’re in for a treat.” Steph teased.

Babs blew Jason a kiss and the two stood next to Cas.

Jason looked over at his family to the side of him. A lot has happened and they stood by him through it all. To have them all here, he was grateful. Then everyone looked over to where they came in. Little Damien, who is now 13 much more mature than the 8-year-old you had originally met. Damien loved you and thought of you as a big sister.

You planned to walk down the aisle yourself, but when Damien asked if he could give you away to Jason who were you to deny him.

You always knew Damien thought highly of you but one day after you and Jason had gotten back together after your hiatus apart. Damien lectured you left and right about how if Todd is ever a dick to you again he’d take care of Todd himself.

“Not if I handled him myself first.” You joked with Damien.

“Good.”

Then one day, you’ll never forget you were looking for Damien, but couldn’t find him in the manor. You walked outside onto the manor’s patio where Dick and Jason were sitting.

“Hey, do you know where Damian is?” you ask taking a seat next to Jason, “I can’t find him.”

“Yeah,” Dick nods, “Hold on, I got this.” He clears his throat. “DAMIAN! JASON IS BULLYING Y/N!!!”

Jason shook his head and looked at Dick, “Wait, what?!”

“Goddammit!”

You and Jason looked around and then up as Dick nodded proudly. Damien opened the window from the second floor in the manor and jumped out of it with a fighting stick. “TODD!”

Jason gets up from where he’s sitting and quickly runs out of the way, “GAAHH!!!”

You look over at Dick who nods and is giving you two thumbs up.

Back to the wedding:

Jason’s jaw dropped and he couldn’t believe that he was so lucky to have you. You were in a short spaghetti strap lacy white dress it hugged your body and your curves it had a slight v neck to it but wasn’t revealing. You wore your hair down nothing too fancy, just some soft waves and a baby’s breath crown on your head with your hair resting on your left shoulder.

You had a small light pink and black bouquet. Your shoes were a metallic white pearl shoe with skinny heel with a buckle around the ankle. It took everything in Jason not to just run over to you, sweep you off your feet and shower you in kisses. He was the happiest and luckiest man alive. The photographer was snapping pictures like crazy. When you left Alfred just asked for some pictures of the wedding, if Alfred wanted photos he was going to get them. No questions asked.

Roy nudged Jason. Jason nudged him back and couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

Damien walked you up to Jason.

“Thanks, Dami.” And you two shared a hug.

Damien turned around and glared at Jason. “Todd.”

“Demon spawn.” He cracks Damian a half-smile.

“Don’t mess this up, again.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

Damian nods and steps aside letting Jason know that he’s approved of you two together again. You give Damien your bouquet. He walks over next to Babs and Steph. Jason offered you his hand. You take it and he leans into you as he helps you up, “You look absolutely gorgeous.” He stands up straight as you two take each other’s hands.

“Everyone is staring at us.”

“Everyone is staring at you.” Jason gestured, down to what you were wearing, giving you an ‘it’s definitely not me, it’s you’ kind of look.  You smiled at him as you moved your hair out of your face and then take his hands again. He couldn’t stop smiling as much as he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Looking at you like this was like falling in love all over again. This was happening.

“Hello, friends and family.” Roy began, “We are gathered here for the marriage of our beloved Y/f/n/   y/m/n   y/l/n and our shit-eating boy, Jason Peter Todd.”

Everyone chuckles at Roy and Jay playfully flips him off.

“Now, the couple would like to say their vows.”

“Jason Peter Todd.” You began, “Where do I even begin with you. With us? Since my first day at Gotham Academy when you kept spilling coffee on me. We’ve unfortunately been best friends since. You’ve been my first choice always since we’ve met and since I’ve been with you I’ve never safer. From the highs and the lows you’ve been with me through it all.” You wipe one of your eyes, “I couldn’t imagine going through life with anyone else except for you. So, take me as I am because I have already taken you. I promise to always be by your side through anything the world may throw at us. I’ll protect you through it all.”

He brings your hands to his lips and kisses them.

“I guess it’s my turn.” He rolls his shoulders back while he stands up straight with your hands still in his. “Y/n.”

He looks around him, his brothers, and his sisters. The crowd that had gathered during your ceremony. The perfect weather and the beautiful bride he has. You were breathtaking. Looking at you, his heart skipped a beat.

Every. Single. Time.

He takes a deep breath before beginning.

“I’ll keep it as simple as I can.” He bites his lip, “Shit.” He wipes his eye. “How’d you do this without balling?” he joked.

You chuckle, “It was hard.”

“Ok,” he gives your hands another squeeze, “Y/n, you don't have to listen carefully, because I will tell you a thousand times. With your hands in mine, look at this thing we found. I have everything I need and I promise to give you everything you will ever need because you make me not want to die.”

You let out a chuckle and Roy rolled his eyes. Before you and Jason would say ‘I love you’ that’s what you’d say to each other, when you first started dating and when you guys got back together.

You’d be leaving the safe house for dance practice and Jason called after you, “Y/n!”

“What?”

He’d tilt his head and give you a soft smile, “you make me not want to die.”

You crack a smile and flip him off as he flips you off in return. You continue walking away and Jason can’t help but keep his eyes glued on you as you left.

“You two have the weirdest relationship.” Roy pretended to be disgusted.

“When you get sad like you do sometimes. Anything you feel. Put it all on me. All of your thoughts, I want everything. I’m letting you know, I’m going to be around.”

It had been months since you and Peter broke up and since you have decided not to take Jason back. You opened your eyes and started to cry. He was standing in front of you. “What happened to us?” You ask wiping away your tears.

He goes to step towards you and you back away making yourself smaller.

“Y/n.” He hesitates and puts his arms back to his side.

You don’t look at him.

“I’m sorry.” You look at him. Now he was crying, “I was wrong. You were right and I shouldn’t have done the things that I did but I did and I hurt you and I’m sorry. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore. I’m better with you than I am without you.”

“Jason...” you feel your chest tighten as more tears begin to fall.

“All I want to do is love you and if you don’t want to be with me. At least let me be around...again. I miss my best friend.”

You get on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck. Where he wraps his arms around your body in a tight embrace.

“I never stopped loving you.” You cried. “I’m so scared and lost I don’t know what I want.” You begin to hiccup and Jason rubs your back.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. Sincerely. I promise I won’t ever be the reason you cry again.”

“I'll lift you when you're feeling low. I'll hold you when the night gets cold. Your fears and your thoughts, give me all of it. You'll never have to be alone and that's all you need to know.”

You wipe away your tears.

“I’m sorry.” Jason apologized.

You shook your head no, “Good tears.” He smiles at you and you both look over at Roy who smiling at them softly. He nods and breaks the silence: “Jason Peter Todd, you may kiss your bride.”

Jason cups your face as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss on the lips as the audience that has since gathered clapped and cheered but not louder than his and your family only a few steps away.

[dragonflymage]

I have various levels to my dreams and it depends on the level as to how often I have that type of dream. I’m not sure if overthinking causes them. But I do know having the dreams causes me to think more after I wake.

Here are my personal dream types:

💙 Normal dreams - 💙 This is a dream that revolves around one or two subjects or symbols. It’s a pretty simple dream. It may or may not make sense. I’ll most likely forget about it when I wake, or by the end of the day. These probably occur at least once a night, if not more.

💙 Weird dreams - 💙 These are similar to Normal dreams except they are truly strange. It’ll mix symbols that make no sense. I’ll wake up wondering what the hell I just dreamed about. These aren’t as common as the Normal dreams. Those that I remember may occur about once a week or two.

💙 Story dreams - 💙 These are dreams that are like I’m watching a movie. I’m either within the mind of the ‘main character’ or I’m an invisible watcher to the events. These can be ordinary stories or can also fall into the Nightmare category. I don’t have these sorts of dreams as often as I used to.

💙 Dreamwalker dreams - 💙 For me, a dreamwalker is someone who can travel in their dreams. I have at least 5 regular locations I visit while I sleep. These are places I know so well that if I ever found them while awake, I’d know exactly where to go to get around. These dreams occur maybe once or twice a month.

💙 Stress dreams - 💙 This is a dream where I wake feeling anxious. The themes usually involve being teased and emotionally tormented. As though I’ve been picked on all night. These dreams occur more often when I’m already feeling stressed about something while awake.

💙 Disaster dreams - 💙 These are dreams about some sort of natural disaster, post-apocalyptic events, or something that is supposed to end the world. Usually, they involve weather or geological events, bombs, or (haha) zombies. I’ve had these fairly regularly my whole life.

💙 Creepy AF dreams - 💙 Similar to a Story dream, but these dreams are one step above a full nightmare. They involve all the scary elements of a nightmare, but I’m not fully interacting with it, nor it with me. Like I’m walking through a created haunted house in someone else’s mind where nothing can touch me. It’s creepy, but overall, not dangerous. I don’t have these dreams very often, maybe once or twice a year, depending on waking situations.

💙 Nightmares - 💙 The worst. These are dreams that are realistic and frightening, leaving me feeling quite traumatized. They are usually a Story dream taken to the extreme. I’ve often wondered if I was trapped inside various random people’s bad memories. I am fully interacting and stuck in the scenario until it unfolds to the end. Though, I have learned how to wake myself up right before I (or the person in the dream) is supposed to die. I used to have Nightmares more often in the past. I rarely have these now.

Here are examples from my dream journal for each of the above types I listed.

💤 **Please know that some of the content below might be SCARY** 💤

⭐ Normal dream - ⭐ I was with a group of people. One of them I know was male. He was a priest or holy man. We were walking together on a dirt road and there were trees around us. There was a clearing where I could see through the trees and I saw mountains way off in the distance. I thought it was so pretty so I took my out camera and snapped pictures. Off to the left of the mountains, I saw a bay. On the bay was a huge bridge that reminded me of the golden gate but it was bigger. Something about the bridge scared me.

I took more pictures. Trees blocked my view so I moved around to try and find a clearer view. The holy man with me said, "you're seeing what you're meant to see. Let it become clear on its own". When I looked back at the bridge it was covered in fog and I couldn't see it anymore.

⭐ Weird dream - ⭐ I was in an old building. It looked like a stone temple. It was dusty. Someone was with me and he was trying to get a spell or a machine to work. There was a big egg-shaped container with a line going longways through it so it could open. It reminded me of a coffin except it was egg-shaped.

I went over to the egg coffin and opened it. Inside was a little boy. I was wondering what a little boy is doing inside the coffin? I touched him and he woke up and I was glad that he wasn't dead. I helped him out of the coffin and he followed me around. He said, "I'm supposed to visit you soon". I said, "but you're visiting me now". He shook his head and said, "no not like this". That's all I remember.

⭐ Story dream - ⭐ The dream went through an entire sequence of events in someone else’s life that spanned about a year. I lived alone in a house that had no lights. I was pregnant and nobody to talk with about it. Two or three older women came to my house to keep me company. They said that they would explain things to me and answer any questions I had. They answered basic questions because I was too afraid to ask what I was really thinking. They offered to stay with me but I told them that I would be fine, so they left. I spent a great deal of time alone and crying.

When I was in the hospital to have the baby, I felt detached from everything. I was pregnant, and then I had a baby. He was a boy and I named him Delancey. I brought him home and in my heart, I was happy he was here, yet there was a sadness in my heart. When it came time to introduce Delancey to other people I knew, I put him in a small stroller. I went to a workplace where I knew some people. They came out and fawned over the baby and were excited about him being there. Again I felt detached and put on a happy face.

There was an office or room inside the workplace that I went into. It was empty and I knew it was the room that belonged to my baby's father. My thoughts lingered on him and how he died before he knew I was even pregnant. I started crying, holding Delancey to my chest, trying to talk out loud to the baby's father that he had a son, and I was so sorry that he wasn't here to share in his life with me. My heart hurt so badly for this woman I shared life with in my dream.

⭐ Dreamwalker dream - ⭐ In this dream, I returned to a dream location I've been in before. The place always feels like India, yet it also feels other-worldly. In past dreams, I'm walking through a marketplace during different stages of prosperity. Sometimes the marketplace is active and thriving, and other times it's desolate with people sitting on the ground as if they're starving.

Last night the location felt desperate. In the dream, I remembered being here before, so I took a good look around to gather my sense of direction. I always entered the marketplace from a path in the near center, and the marketplace extended off to the right and left of me. The ground is not paved. It's covered with red-orange dirt. I always seem to know someone in this location and I went looking for them.

Near the marketplace stood a small hut with a blanket for a door. I stared at it for a long time, but I don't recall why I hesitated to go in. Outside of the hut, a small boy came over to me. His skin was deep brown and his hair was short and black. Indian or Arabic features. I recognized him as he asked, "do you want to buy some?" He had jewelry in his hand.

I looked in my hand and saw that I carried an amulet in the shape of the eye of Horus. It was new and shiny and felt out of place in my surroundings. The boy looked at it and said, "I can give you something better". I asked him, "why are you selling jewelry away from the marketplace?" He looked at me in silence, but his eyes looked very sad. He hurried away before I could say anything more.

I finally went inside the hut. Before I went inside, I knew that something was wrong. Several people were huddled together on the dirt floor. One person cradled the head of a child on his lap. I knew the child was sick, and possibly the others were too. I felt as though I had the capability to heal them but I think I knew I was too late to do any serious help. They pleaded to me to please try. It hurt to look at them, and I knew that my efforts wouldn't save them, but I knelt down and attempted to soothe their pain. The child weakly held my hand and such an overwhelming feeling of helplessness went through me that it pulled me right out of the dream.

⭐ Stress dream - ⭐ In my dream, I saw people outside. One man said to a woman there "I'll buy you ice cream with a cone". The woman looked happy about the ice cream at first. But then she was upset when he mentioned a cone. She walked away. The man didn't know what upset her.

Then I saw a memory inside the woman's thoughts. I shared space with her. The woman was a 5-year-old little girl. She sat in-between her parents on a bench. The girl had won a prize and her prize was an ice cream cone. Her father said he would test the ice cream to see if it was OK. He ate the ice cream and didn't give it back to the girl.

The girl kept saying "can I have some now?" But he wouldn't give it back. He said, "this tastes so good". The girl got upset and started to cry. She looked at her mother and said: "he won't give me my ice cream". Her mother made faces at the girl and repeated what the girl said, repeating it in a teasing voice. The girl cried and the father kept eating the cone until it was gone. The girl didn't get any of the ice cream that was her prize for winning something. I knew she felt very upset because she never had special ice cream like that before.

⭐ Disaster dream - ⭐ In this dream, I was at a beach. I walked in the water out pretty far because the water was shallow. I went out and the water was only at my waist. Then I noticed a disturbance in the water and a large whirlpool appeared. In a short amount of time, all the water in the ocean drained down through a large crack in the ocean floor. I knew that a larger disaster was coming, that an earthquake was going to happen. I went around the beach to all the people who were standing there staring at the empty ocean, trying to warn them that a big earthquake was coming, but no one seemed to hear me or care. I decided to leave the beach and hurried back home. I ran into the house to grab my pets. I had only one cat and two small dogs. I put them into my jeep and called my brother on a cell phone to warn him. He seemed too tired to care. I drove someplace safer.

⭐ Creepy AF dream - ⭐ I was inside a room that was supposed to be my bedroom. There was a man in my room, but I wasn't sure if he was there or not. He stood in the corner of the room watching me and said nothing. I had a creepy feeling so I went to the window. I was on the second floor. Looking down, I saw another man standing there. He wore white and stood very still. He looked right up at me and stared. He didn't move and kept staring at me. I was afraid so I left that window and looked out the other window. Another man wearing white stood very still and stared up at me.

I hurried away and turned to look at the man in my room. He said, "so you can see us, can you?" I wanted to get out of the room, but couldn't find the door. The man walked closer to me and said, "I was going to wait until later. But since you can see me I'm going to kill you now." He had something in his hand and he came closer to me. I sat on the floor and I pushed myself against the wall using my feet. He stood over me and stared at me for a long time. I was still sitting on the floor, but my dead body was laying on the floor in front of me. It scared me so much to see that. The man leaned over my body and talked.

A woman and another person came into the room. She saw my body on the floor and was angry. She picked the man up and took a dagger and stabbed him in the chest many times. Then she threw him on the floor. She looked right at me sitting on the floor and stepped over my body. She told me to follow her and she would find a safe place for me. I was very scared. But I followed her.

⭐ Nightmare - ⭐ I was inside someone's house. Other people were living in this house with me and they were my family. Another stranger lived in the house too. He was very dangerous, but I was the only one who could see him. He took each of my family one at a time and sliced their throats with a long razor. He forced me to watch him doing this. I could see this happening, but the other family members didn't seem to realize what was going on. I tried to tell them they needed to leave the house, but they didn't understand me. He grabbed another person and sliced them too. I saw the razor going into their skin and I saw blood everywhere. He kept doing this until they were all dead.

Then he said he was going to do the same to me. He grabbed me and showed me the razor knife and moved it over my skin. He wasn't cutting me at first. I tried to get away from him. He said he was very sorry and there was no one else left so I was next. Then the other person I shared the dream-thoughts with began talking to him. She was screaming and saying she didn't want to die. I think she was a she. I don't know for sure. I could still see through her eyes and I tried to close my eyes. But I couldn't because her eyes weren't closed. Then the telephone woke me up.

— Those are some of my dreams from over the years. It took me forever to go through them and pick these. I have so many that could’ve worked for each category.

And to answer the original question, there were times when I’ve had nightmares very often and times when they were rare. The frequency seems to depend on what’s taking place in my life. 💗

Thanks for the question. 😊

[xiaomoxu]

MLQC CN Lucien (Xu Mo) Recollection Date Part 1 & 2

SPOILER ALERT!!

It's Xu Mo Birthday Date which has released on CN server. I'm doing translation for personal reason, so I'm sorry if there's some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) feel free for read it~ ^^

PART 1

Today is Xu Mo’s birthday. What is different from the past is that today is also a more special day one by one

In the morning of this day, Xu Mo will report on the topics he has studied for many years.

A string of large characters is displayed on the screen—"Brain injury patients' cognitive changes to different emotions and intervention measures for emotion recognition after injury"

I sat quietly at the back of the lecture hall, watching the scholars walk into the lecture hall one after another.

After getting to know Xu Mo, I know that he has always been studying things.

Although I don't know much about his subject, through the whispers of the audience, I know that this is one of the major issues that have been deeply valued and unresolved in the brain science community.

Xu Mo in a formal suit stood on the stage. He looked down in a circle, paused for a few seconds while looking in the direction where I was, then walked to the podium.

Xu Mo: About twenty years ago, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)—Emotional cognition caused by traumatic brain injury is a problem that is not of much concern to everyone.

Xu Mo: Usually people feel that this is a small burden brought about by the treatment experience or the psychological changes of the patient himself.

Xu Mo: In a 2012 study, it is estimated that 54-60 million people worldwide suffer from TBI every year, and 2.2-3,600,000 people suffer from moderate to severe damage every year.

Xu Mo: In recent years, with the advancement of technology, we have been able to monitor changes in various physical data of patients with brain injury through the use of high-end equipment.

Xu Mo: We found that emotional changes—the traditional psychological cognition may be caused by physiological changes in the patient’s brain itself.

Xu Mo: Therefore, we follow this line of thinking to conduct in-depth research on the mechanism of emotional and cognitive changes in TBI patients to determine the principle of change.

Xu Mo: According to the guidance of the research results, intervention measures for post-injury emotion recognition for TBI patients were also formulated.

Xu Mo calmly and deliberately dropped every character. As he spoke, the report on the screen was displayed page by page.

The people at the bottom of the venue were quiet. Except for Xu Mo's report, there was only the rustle of pages turning.

Xu Mo: People with TBI may also increase their anxiety after maintaining TBI. After TBI, anxiety may exacerbate other cognitive dysfunctions.

Xu Mo: For example, the ability to recognize emotions.

Xu Mo: Compared with positive emotions, it is more difficult for people with TBI to recognize negative emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness.

Xu Mo: Next, I will introduce based on the data of 25 participants in the research group.

With the large lecture hall, scholars and researchers from all over the world are witnessing how this long-term research has reached this moment step by step.

In the last row of the lecture hall, I secretly photographed Xu Mo of today and inserted it into our third volume commemorative album.

PART 2

It was noon when Xu Mo left the report building.

I left the venue early and waited at the door with a box of cakes and a bunch of flowers. While seeing him, I solemnly handed over the bouquet.

MC: Professor Xu, good work.

Xu Mo glanced at the cake box in my hand, his eyes fell on my calm face, and he bent his eyes thoughtfully before taking the bouquet.

Xu Mo: Are you not planning to "surprise" this year's gifts?

MC: This bouquet of flowers is a gift for Professor Xu's hard work, not a birthday gift~

I smiled and raised the cake box in my hand, looking at Xu Mo sincerely and directly.

MC: But sometimes, the "surprise" that is not "surprise" has more unexpected magical effects.

MC: Anyway, you will guess at the end of every little action of mine, so it's better to go the other way and be more generous.

MC: I hope this year’s customized birthday, everything will start with you.

Xu Mo: So... what can I do today?

His voice was a little low, contained in the autumn breeze, like a leaf that kissed the water.

Meeting his gaze, I nodded happily.

MC: Today is the third birthday I celebrated for you, and it is the day when your years of research has a temporary end.

MC: Your mood is the most important on such a special day

MC: I want to accompany you to do all you want to do, not let you meet my expectations.

MC: In order to deal with various special situations, I have done special heat preservation and storage for the cake box.

Xu Mo: If I want to do a lot, will it be too troublesome?

MC: The birthday is to accept all the kindness of others.

Xu Mo: So what if there are a lot of things and can't finish it today?

MC: Then we will continue to do it tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. Anyway, we have a lot of time.

MC: So you don't have to think too much, you can do whatever you want.

Xu Mo slowly lowered his eyes after hearing my answer, and lowered his eyes, not knowing what he was thinking.

A few days before the report, Xu Mo was slightly silent. At that time, I didn't ask much, just stayed quietly by his side.

With autumn leaves rustling, Xu Mo raised his hand to straighten my hair tossed by the wind, and then put his forehead against my forehead.

Xu Mo: That....

Xu Mo: Can you not be happy?

A few words whispered quietly from my ear, and I was a little surprised.

Xu Mo's expression was still very pale, the corners of his raised mouth kept a fixed arc, and his eyes brightened by the autumn light looked straight at me.

Like sneaking out of the shell, some expectation, and some unknown heaviness and panic.

I couldn't help taking a breath. The cold green grass and the fragrance of flowers filled my heart and lungs together.

MC: of course can.

Xu Mo's breathing stopped for a moment after hearing my answer

MC: Although I very much hope that you will be happy on your birthday.

MC: But if you are unhappy, I will be unhappy with you.

MC: I will spend all the unhappy time with you and wait for the moment when happiness comes.

"Happy birthday" should be a blessing, not a shackle.

Xu Mo smiled. The bright autumn colors covered his eyes, like the moment he explained the conclusion just on stage.

I shook the cake box and tilted my head.

MC: So, where does Professor Xu want to spend his special day?

He raised his head and looked deeply into the distance.

Xu Mo: I thought of a special place, but it was a bit far away.

Xu Mo: Would you like to walk with me?

MC: of course!

After a few hours' drive, we came to an old street.

Although it is an old street, it is constantly being repaired and refurbished.

I visited the neighborhood once when I was very young. Today's street scene is completely different from my vague memory.

People's vague and soft memories of the old city will always fade away with the renovation of every stone tile, every hawker who has been organized.

Until one day, Quiet City was silent in time.

Xu Mo's memory has always been very good, but this time it seems to be slightly slow.

He would stop at a certain street corner and look at it lightly; he would also quietly look around at the fork, as if the choice was not in his memory.

I followed him quietly, following the paved road. We climbed the ramp and went around for a long time.

After a while, Xu Mo finally stopped.

Before us, there is a silent open space.

I secretly looked at Xu Mo and saw that his expression was still clear light.

It is like looking into the distance without seeing the weight, looking at someone outside of time through this open space.

I retracted my gaze and looked at the clearing in front of me. I always felt that I could faintly guess where it was.

Xu Mo: MC, let's sit there for a while.

Xu Mo pointed to a bench facing the open space, took my hand and sat on it with him.

The noon in late autumn was a bit cold, and the whole world was so quiet that there was only breathing. The exhaled white mist whirled in the air and disappeared silently.

I looked at the open space, wantonly imagine what it once looked like.

Maybe it used to be the kind of small bungalows from the old days, there may be a small courtyard...

Xu Mo: There used to be a small bungalow like the old one. Do you know what it looks like?

Xu Mo's voice suddenly sounded, and I was shocked, and for a moment I thought that my imagination had a sound.

MC: I saw this kind of house when I was a kid, but I can't remember exactly.

Xu Mo: The bricks of the house are a little mottled white, and the roof is covered with red tiles.

Xu Mo: Because it is on a hillside, it often winds up

Xu Mo: On special days, rows of small blue and white flags will be hung on the eaves. When the wind is blowing, sitting in the courtyard and looking up is very beautiful.

Following Xu Mo's description, I closed my eyes looking at the open space and imagined the small white brick and red tiled house.

I felt Xu Mo holding my hand, and he put his fingers between mine, bringing our ten fingers together tightly.

I was about to open my eyes, but Xu Mo's voice continued

Xu Mo: Push the door outside and you can walk into the yard.

MC: Will there be flowers in the yard?

Xu Mo: Yes, there is a row of small flower beds on the left, but the owner is always a bit busy and often forgets to water.

Xu Mo: So they don’t look so healthy.

Xu Mo: The door of the room is in front of you, when the door opens you will have a "squeak" sound.

I nodded subconsciously, feeling as if I really walked through the small yard and opened the door.

Some stale air is opened along with the door, and together with the gentle memory, it welcomes the long-lost return.

-Part 3 and 4 will be updated.-

[oh-theres-a-woman]

Flowers in a Peaked Cap; Part One

A/N: Heres to attempt two at writing this author’s note… Let’s just say, I haven’t perfected the art of saving drafts. Note to self to actually find out how to make the draft before losing three solid paragraphs of rambling about the story… Sophie Points; Nil. Laptop/Internet Points; One. Welp, honestly internet and laptop have won a hell of a lot more than that. Just don’t remember how many times I’ve lost work because of not quite understanding how to post on here…. Safe to say I’m still a noob. 

Any hoot! Enough rambling about that stuff. 

After posting the first piece to this story; in the very very early hours of this morning. I couldn’t help but feel the massive urge to continue and work on the more of Tillie’s little adventure. It made me want to think about her as a person outside the relatives that we already know. What this girl’s goals are and ambitions. Unlike the rest of her family, I think she has a relatable amount of vulnerability and anxieties that are more from society’s working in the 1920s compared to her brothers; Arthur, Thomas and John that all suffer war-related mental illness and scars.   

Actively she’s a romantic escapist that wants to make her brothers and aunt proud. Making a name for herself in the means of writing and exploring the tales that are brewed from the memories of old days. 

In the progression of this story, I want to be able to explore the growth in Tillie as a young woman. The stepping out of her brothers’ shadows and coming into her own. Growing into a more confident young woman that could be from meeting new people like in this chapter and moving away from her fears. 

I do see romance in this story, something like and full of all the trend first experience one faces at one stage or another. In terms of smut, I’d think it’s lighter and would be something that is worked towards. Tillie to me doesn’t seem rather lust-driven. So, it’ll happen if it does, and if not; its simply because Tillie Shelby isn’t interested in that sort of thing. 

Important note; I’ll be working on organising the Taglist a little more throughout my next few posts. Please notify me if you’re interested in anything specifically and want tags there or if you mind just being on the general tag list and included in every story I post. Thank you!!!  

Requested By; @csigeoblue​

Parts; [ Prologue ] 

Taglist; @zodiyack​, @itsfrancisneptun​, @amys-small-world​, @fandom-fucking-shit​, @hesagod-notyet​, @hinagiku0​, @dylanlover24​, @amirahiddleston​, @a-dorky-book-keeper​, @theamuz​, @csigeoblue​, @smallheathgangsters​, @beautycinders 

Word Count; 1400

Watery Lane wasn’t the play that supported the wild fantasy’s of Tillie Shelby, but the little bookshop that was filled with many hopefuls or lads that were born a little more well off collectively grouped together. Reading the stories they wrote. This gathering was apparently one that caught the attention of the paper since the known publishers and well-off lads from another book club around England had found themselves doing a sort of travel for their source material. 

Since the profile of this club of prolific writers had taken interest in the area of Small Heath and its inhabitants. Inviting upstart writers or aspiring tellers to come and meet them. So, onward the youngest Shelby strolled until she pulled open the door of the quaint little bookshop. The signal of her arrival was the sound of her kitten heels and the ringing of the bell on the door. Doe-like blue eyes that were like the crystal-clarity of the purest of water found themselves settling on a group of well-dressed gentlemen.  Her eyes flicker between some faces she knew of Small Heath, most of them being the arseholes she went to school with and thought themselves privy to a better life. 

It wasn’t that Tillie didn’t believe they weren’t welcome to it. Mostly, it was the way they treated people in order to get there the young woman didn’t quite agree with. She was rather foolish coming to her though since her brother’s had a very vision about how the Shelby family should be seen. Their measures to getting things done with it were also less than admirable. Perhaps, it was the fact that Billy Bronson, James Fitz and Joe Gilbert made hers and Finn’s school life a living hell one way or another. But, it also made it seem extremely unfair to talk to their older brothers about what happened. Since most knew better than to fuck with the kin of the Peaky Blinders. 

Plooms of cigarette smoke clouded in the air, filling the bookstore with a spiced herbal infusion and rippled tailored sticks of tobacco. Moving her gaze from the lads she knew; to the new arrivals. The youngest of the Shelby mob offered a little smile. “Is there room for one more?” Tillie finally spoke up, pulling her book that contained the novel she had poured hours and hours over. Smiling hopefully. Arms hugging the expensive leather made book that her brothers banded together in the hopes for a lovely birthday present in the days before the war. 

Hoping that she’d fill in with various things she enjoyed to draw, but instead, Tillie hadn’t touched it until she was old enough to respect things. Asking Aunt Pol to help her keep in a safe place until then. Scraps of paper were best for sketches in any case. 

Eyes ever hopeful looked at the posher sort, some seemed wary until a certain collared lad smiled and offered a little nod then the place he’d been sitting. Away from the boys that seemed to make life a little more bothersome. “Thank you,” she whispered, settling down in the seat. Resting the book down on her lap before looking to the other lads who straightened their composure.

“We were all about to introduce ourselves since we’ve never travelled outside of London for such a meeting before. Yet, it seemed like a brilliant idea when bought up. Birmingham seemed like the best place, so raw and thrilling. Small Heath alone.” Spoke finally a lad in a handsome waist-coat, the colouring of coal, stiff collar and matching suit made her think of it being something her brother; Tom would wear. Only on the best occasions, or when he was dressing-to-impress. Unlike Thomas, this lad had handsome hazel eyes, the slightest tan to his skin like he enjoyed the frolicking on the beach. His name was Walter, but everyone called him, Walt. 

“Even the presence of criminal activity and organisations like the Peaky Blinders, it does make the area a prize for writing. Wouldn’t you agree, lads,” spoke up for eccentric Norman, who took delight in the thing that only made Tillie smile in a measure of great awkwardness. The name seemed to follow her everywhere she went, and there was a measure of awkwardness for that.  “Sorry, miss, I didn’t quite mean to be so rude, it’s just you don’t seem the sort to know much on that end, too kind and pretty, huh?” Norm covered himself for any form of rudeness that could have been interpreted. 

Only causing a polite little lowering of her head, as her hands wrapped anxiously around her book’s spine. Before relaxing at the conversation drifting off elsewhere. Sobering to the notion that the following cough from Joe Gilbert had goosebumps appearing on her arms. Causing a vast amount of discomfort in the young woman. Tillie traded glances with the nicer of the Londoner’s; Robert. Whom quickly coughed to get things back on track. 

“In any case, back to the introductions. We shouldn’t dwell too long on the story topics if we’ve lacked the proper course of introduction. Shall I start?” Robert spoke up, settled against set up for the purpose of meetings. “My name is Robert Augustine, myself and these other gentlemen,” he said, gesturing to the others in the group of London lads. 

“Are from a collective of young men that wish to write and publish arts. Never before have we had a lady join us, but surely in this modern world we’d be able to welcome the bright minds of femininity amongst us. After all, lady authors are blooming into the publishing world more and more with each generation.” His words seemed to still the anxiousness within her soul at the agreement of his other companions. Looking forward to seeing a hand extended to her, Robert allowed her to stand. The mix of coarseness and softness met between the two palms meet. 

Holding her book, Tillie looked down smiling a little at her feet. Hugging her book to her chest, like it was the most precious thing to her. That was… Because it truly was the thing that held so much value to her heart. Her right hand still gently in the hold of the Londoner, cheeks lightly warming. “I’m Tillie Shelby, and I like to write about my brothers, their stories before the war. When we were kids,” she lit up sweetly talking of her brothers. Her hand and Robert’s naturally finding it parting, before he settled in his spot by the desk. Arms folding at his chest with a little smile. 

“Would you be willing to share any of those stories?” Robert asked in a light voice. Tillie could only think of one response. 

“Would I ever,” she beamed with a presence that seemed to warm the room and the quiet little shop around them. Settling down into her seat once more, she didn’t think about when the others were introducing themselves. Instead, she found herself lost within stories. The more whimsical tales of lads that laughed and partied. Or the ones that filled with a warmth that made her think of the family that suppressed or lost who they were before the war. Among them, none had known those woes and horrors. 

They’d seen things happen on the outside. Felt the absence of a brother, father, uncle or grandfather that either died or lost what kept to their memory that their younger-selves recalled. Tillie was young then. Merely a baby in some regard. But she couldn’t ever forget the days of laughter, wherein night terrors; her heroes would just come up and curl into the undersized cot she called a bed. Soothing their fingers along with the softness of infant or child hairs–that had yet to understand dryness or damage. 

When business didn’t entirely rule the Shelby family but happened in the background. Those were her tales. The tales of rawness and loss from a different scene. Where her brothers; the men who took over the role of an absent father, became; fathers, uncles, older brothers and best friends. And… Pol became the only mother she ever knew and remembered. Her voice spoke of the volumes to family values and how terrible things broke people. Yet, she never uttered their names aloud. 

Only recording them within her mind when she read the tales that meant something to one of her brothers. Art. Tom. John.

[taehyung-rambles]

My Top 3 BTS Members from Each Era: Who Owned Each Era (Up to Permission to Dance)

Disclaimer: My Taehyung bias runs deep, so y’all may get mad at some of my choices--especially with the more recent stuff--unless you are fellow Taehyung trash. In which case, let’s talk.

Disclaimer #2: I’m not into any type of hip hop outside of BTS, so the rap verses usually have to stick out a lot for me to think it’s one of the best elements of the song. Though, I adore the rap line in BTS very much.

Disclaimer #3: Do not take a shot every time I say vocal tone/color because you will die.

So, I just made a BTS blog, and I wanted to start it off by talking about this. I realized while I was making this list that I tend to gravitate toward specific vocals and rap verses (from the maknae line and Yoongi, namely), so I’m sorry in advance if you don’t see your favorite person mentioned beneath a specific era, but these are just my opinions on who grabs my attention the most in each era; in other words, I’m not only ranking these based on who were the central members for that song, but also who jumped out the most to me. I mostly talk about these in terms of the vocal takes first and the total performance second with little consideration for how the music video was structured, though I may mention when a member’s concept is especially good for that era. K-pop does have a lot to do with total performance (vocal, choreo, wardrobe, etc.), but as I consume BTS’s music on its own more than I do their live performances, it was important to me to focus on the vocal before focusing on who killed the choreo. 

As such, you might see rankings in here that you don’t agree with because I thought a member may have dominated the MV but didn’t stick out to me as much vocally. This post is going to be very biased, though I did rank all of these with my honest interests in mind, so it’s biased for a reason. At the end of the day, BTS wouldn’t be BTS without all seven members, so even if I didn’t rank a certain member enough times in your opinion, I still love them so much and the music they produce. There is no “worst” member in each era. They’re all amazing all the time. So, just keep that in mind, and share your opinions with me in the replies!

P.S.: I tried to grab all the major MVs for the BTS singles that weren’t animated. Hopefully I didn’t forget anything, but there should be a mention of every MV that BTS specifically shot for that song and maybe a couple extras. I think the only exception is probably Make It Right since that MV was just a stage mix, but since there were multiple versions of it, I counted it in here. Same with EPILOGUE: Young Forever since it was almost entirely a compilation of old footage, but since it felt like a major MV, I included it. Also, I didn’t do various MV versions, obviously, since I’m focusing on the vocal before anything else.

P.S. #2: Sorry if these are out of order in some way; I tried to do them by when the MV was released. Also, sorry that some of the group photos don’t include everyone. The format I was using for the edits didn’t leave space to show all the members if the members were spread out.

Alright, so if I was being totally objective here and were to say who the top three members were based on the song structure and MV, it’d probably be Namjoon, Jungkook, and Jimin. However, being opinionated got me to these three.

Taehyung: If you’re thinking, “How can Taehyung be in the top 3 when he had no lines,” don’t worry. I was just as surprised as you are to have Taehyung in my top 3. I think it’s just that Taehyung’s (one) line was so heavy and had so much texture to it that it felt like bigger part than it was. I mean, I think it also has to do with me not knowing who my  number 3 would be for this song, and I decided that I would go with who’s vocal color fit this song the best, and that was Taehyung.

Yoongi: I mean, how could Yoongi not make the list? His first rap verse is iconic, and his second slaps. His voice has so much presence in this song that I can’t listen to it without looking forward to Yoongi’s part primarily. Also, you know those yips Yoongi does when he raps? That’s my favorite thing in the world, and No More Dream had a good amount of them.

Jungkook: We’re all aware that rapper Jungkook was an icon, and this song makes no exception to that rule. His verse is fire. Like Yoongi, Jungkook’s voice had a lot of character, as well. Legit, “see me, see me, yeah” gets stuck in head on a loop more often than is probably necessary. Ergo, Jungkook killed this era.

Full disclosure: I don’t really like this song. I did my best, though, to figure out which members interested me the most despite the fact that I don’t listen this song regularly like I do with most of the others. I would assume that the majority of people would probably list Namjoon and Jungkook along with Jimin in their top 3, but hey.

Taehyung: This is probably another confusing placement for Taehyung, but the pre-chorus he sang fit his voice nicely, or at least, his voice as it sounded back then. I don’t really think anyone stood out vocally in this song besides Jimin, but Taehyung put a little umph in his vocal, so it was nice since the pre-chorus is the catchiest part of this song for me.

Yoongi: Yoongi had the most interesting rap verse in this song, in my opinion. Like I said, I’m still not crazy about this song, but I thought Yoongi’s delivery of his verse was pretty engaging to listen to.

Jimin: Jimin almost feels like the only person in this song because his vocal sticks out so much. Not that I think the other members sound bad, because I think they all kill every song they do; it’s just the way this song sounds fit really well with Jimin’s vocal tone. Jimin ended up owned this era for me because he was so central to the sound this song was trying to produce.

I’m actually not sure what people’s top 3 would be for this song if we were talking about the majority of people. I’d guess probably Jungkook, Suga, and Namjoon? This song came down to the rap verses a lot more than I thought it would, but I guess that’s because a lot of BTS’s pre-2016 upbeat singles had diversity in the rap line while the vocalists had repetitive hooks and choruses.

Taehyung: I told y’all my bias was strong. I’m not putting Taehyung down for the sake of putting Taehyung down, though. I’ll be honest: besides the people in my top 3, I thought everyone did equally well with this song. Taehyung’s vocal stuck out just a little bit more for me than the other vocalists’. Just a bit. When Taehyung flips into his falsetto, it’s always really interesting to listen to. This is the first of many songs where, since the vocalists’ parts are repetitive and they all share the same parts, it really comes down to personal preference for vocal color; I just happen to like Taehyung’s.

Jungkook: I know Jungkook sings in this song, but his rap verse was lit as fuck. I don’t know how to talk about it in a way that makes sense, but listening to it is satisfying, you know? It’s an absolutely kickass way to open the song after the intro. I do think the parts where Jungkook sang fit his vocal tone particularly well. It’s not always the case with BTS songs that every member has a part that is made for their vocal tone--that’d be impossible to do--but they always sound good regardless. Sometimes, though, you get a piece of a song that fits the person singing it so well that it can’t be any other way, and that’s how I felt about Jungkook in this song.

Yoongi: As much as I love Jungkook’s rap verse, Yoongi murdered this song. Every time I listen to this song, my attention is snatched by Yoongi, full stop. I could be listening to this in the background, spacing out any type of detail from the song, but when Yoongi spits fire, I pay attention. I will say this again about other members in other eras, but Yoongi’s verse makes this song, which is why he owns this era.

This song has staying power, y’all. The rest of BTS’s older music sounds really nostalgic, but Boy in Luv just sounds like the kickass song that it is. I think most people’s rating of this era would be fairly similar to mine except for Yoongi. I imagine most people would gravitate toward Jin or Jimin. Honestly, picking the second and third members was really difficult because this song gave everyone parts that were perfect for them.

Yoongi: I don’t know if I should apologize for being so linear in my choices, but Yoongi is badass in this song. His rap verse said “listen boy,” and I’m still not over it. I usually don’t vibe with every rap verse like I did in this song, but even though all the rap verses were interesting, I landed on Yoongi because he caught my attention a bit more.

Jungkook: I think one of my favorite things ever in any BTS song is Jungkook’s rap verse in Boy In Luv. The percussiveness of it and the staccato way he delivers it are just so interesting to listen to. It’s also a really fun rap verse, but it’s dynamic, too. I want to acknowledge that if Jungkook had just been on the chorus, I would probably have stuck Jimin in my top 3 because his vocals have just a touch more texture in them during the chorus, but Jungkook also killed the chorus and the rap, so Jungkook it is.

Taehyung: I mean. From what I’ve seen of other people’s opinions of Boy In Luv, most of them agree that Taehyung had hella presence in this song. The distortion he puts on his voice, the growling, the parts of the song he ended up singing--it all contributed to him owning this era because it’s one of those moments where he fit the concept so well. Every member has a song or two like this under their belts where they embody the song, and this is one of Taehyung’s.

This is another song that I don’t really like, so don’t @ me for my opinions about this one. I did my best, fam. I think nearly everyone thinks Jungkook owned this era, and I imagine they would also include Jin and Jimin.

Taehyung: Not to be rude to the other members--including Taehyung--but since I didn’t find this song all that interesting, it made it hard to pick the second and third members. I don’t really think anybody but Jungkook stuck out. Taehyung’s verse was melodic and nice, though. Even though the “party party” part was dumb. Since, again, it’s a repetitive song, it came down to who’s vocal tone I liked the best. Taehyung’s vocal color is the most unique vocal color I’ve heard from any male artist, so slot number 3 he goes.

Yoongi: Again, this was mostly about whose rap verse I preferred because I’d already made my decisions about the vocalists. This isn’t a song where the rap verses stuck out at all for me, but Yoongi’s was percussive, so it was an interesting addition to the flow of the song.

Jungkook: I mean, this is a Jungkook song, you know? There are Namjoon songs and Hobi songs and Jin songs, and this one was Jungkook song. I don’t think he did anything spectacular with his vocals--which isn’t about him as a vocalist; it’s about the song itself not being dynamic enough to allow him to show off his vocals--but the way he used his voice in this song fit the tone of the song exactly. Taehyung usually has the monopoly on really gentle vocals for me, but Jungkook did really well with it in this song.

This one may get me some flack. Listen, there are parts of this song that I don’t really like--I will not say which parts--but most of it is fire as fuck, and I listen to this all the time. I know most people love Jungkook, Jimin, and Jin in this song. I get that. If I was being objective, I would agree with you. However, that’s the joy of opinions.

Jungkook: I know I said I’m not considering the choreo/MV as much, but Jungkook’s shoulders are loud, you know? Anyway, Jungkook fit this song really well. Actually, I think this is another song that everyone got a part that was meant for them. Jungkook did sound fire on the chorus, no doubt about it, but his rap verse was really dynamic, and Jungkook performed it really well. I have nothing bad to say about Jungkook in this song because it wouldn’t sound as good without his vocal tone.

Jimin: Look, I love Jimin’s sweet vocal tone that he’s used for most of BTS’s career; I even prefer it over his old vocal tone. However, sometimes you hear a song with Jimin’s deeper vocal tone where he puts distortion on his voice, and it slaps you in the face. This is one of those times. I mean, the part they gave him was perfect for what he was doing with his voice at this time. I think, in terms of uniqueness, Jimin would win every time in a debate about the Danger era’s top 3 members.

Taehyung: I barely ever see Taehyung mentioned when it comes to Danger, so this is probably an unpopular opinion, but his parts in Danger make the song. I’m not talking about the chorus--though I’m happy he actually sang in a good chunk of this song since he hadn’t been previously. In fact, I’m pretty sure Jungkook’s vocals were mixed louder than Taehyung’s vocals on the second half of the chorus--which was Taehyung’s part--during the production process. You can hear Taehyung, but Jungkook also sounds really clear on top of Taehyung’s voice. Anyway, what I’m talking about is the hook of the song. The money piece. This has happened more than once with Taehyung, and he always kills it. I vibe with the chorus, but the hook sticks in my head more than anything. So, for me, Taehyung owns this era.

I don’t understand what it is about this song that makes it so good, but it’s a bop. I still think, if I was thinking objectively, that my ranking would close to the same. Some people might choose Hobi over Namjoon or something like that, but ya know.

Jungkook: He’s so cute in this song, isn’t he? I know he’s supposed to come off as a bad boy, but he’s adorable. His parts in this song are really good though, and not just his rap verse. He’s used opposite Taehyung in this song, which was a really good choice. Jimin and Taehyung have the most opposite vocal tones in BTS, so they’re often played off of one another, but sometimes Jungkook’s vocals contrast really beautifully with Taehyung’s. Going from Taehyung’s richness to Jungkook’s clean and smooth vocals is really nice, so I appreciate Jungkook a lot in this song.

Namjoon: The way Namjoon opens this song is rad. It’s so distinct, and it’s the exact right tone to set the song off properly. It’s so damn catchy. Everyone in the rap line has really animated styles of rapping, but Namjoon is usually the most animated, and it really lent itself nicely to War of Hormone. Having him open this song was the best choice ever.

Taehyung: This is a Taehyung song, 1,000%. It was obviously supposed to be a Taehyung song, probably because of his vocal tone, though I’m sure his visual had a lot to do with it, too. Something happened to Taehyung with this single. It was like, all of a sudden, he found his charisma, and he’s been killing us all ever since. I don’t mean this in a negative way for the other members, but all the umph in this song comes from Taehyung. I think that’s how it should be because, if everyone had a vocal that sounded like Taehyung’s, it’d be too much--that’s why I like the way Jungkook’s voice compliments Taehyung’s. The parts of this song Taehyung had embellished the song perfectly, and it did wonders to show off Taehyung’s talent. The tone of this song just works with Taehyung at the center. Growling, attitude, stage presence, and all; Taehyung definitely owned the War of Hormone era.

I’ve got to say, BTS songs like this are catchy, but not something I pay attention to when I listen to them. I Need U, RUN, and Save ME are all like that. On top of that, they’re all pretty repetitive songs, and it’s hard to find each member individually in them--at least for me--so choosing the top 3 was difficult. I know a lot of people agree that Jimin owned this era, same with Yoongi. I imagine the third one, if I wasn’t being too opinionated about it, would probably be Jungkook.

Taehyung: So, Taehyung doesn’t have a lot going on in this song unless you consider the MV--which I’m trying not to do too much. I think, for this song though, the MV did come into play a bit more since it was basically a short film. Still, if I was only talking about the MV, Taehyung would be number 1. However, vocally, there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot to go on. The reason he made my list, though, is that his vocals still stuck out to me despite the amount of lines he had. Taehyung’s got soul; we all know this. Any time he sings in this song, my mind goes, “Oh?” because, even though it doesn’t happen a lot, it lends a lot to the tone of the song.

Yoongi: For someone who doesn’t really love this song, I have to say that Yoongi’s part is really the only part that hits me. His vocal color and the way he decided to use his voice for his verse was gorgeous. It’s one of those vocal takes where the vocal jumps out above the mix, and it almost doesn’t matter what’s happening with the instrumental because the vocal is so nice. Again, this is something that happens with all the members, and I try to acknowledge them when I think it’s happened. So, here’s to Yoongi for killing it.

Jimin: When I think of I Need U, the only thing I think about is Jimin. I know you’ve got Jungkook on the chorus, as well, but Jimin’s vocal tone is the thing that sticks in my head. It’s so perfectly matched with the song and the production that it’s easier to find Jimin in this song than it is to find really stark evidence of the other members--again, that’s more to do with the song than with the members. This song just happened to fit Jimin’s voice in a special way, which is why he owned the era.

So, I’m gonna do the Japanese singles, too, because they have MVs and all that. However, fair warning, these singles usually end up coming down to whose vocal tone I prefer since they’re usually softer songs that lean more on the vocalists than the rappers. Jungkook is the center of MV, so I think he’d be most people’s number 1. After that, I’d think people would choose Jin and Yoongi, but that’s just a guess.

Jin: For You basically has Jungkook, Jin, and Taehyung each sing the chorus, so that’s why it comes down to vocal tone, especially since I think the vocalists stuck out more than the rappers in this song. I loved Jin’s light tone on the chorus of For You. His falsettos can sound different in different songs, but in For You, it was so delicate, and I loved it a lot. Jin usually fits really well in softer songs that still have a bit of pop to them, so he did well in this song.

Jungkook: I know this was probably meant to be a Jungkook song, so don’t @ me. It’s a song that’s set up for a very Jungkook vocal, if that makes sense. As in, it was made for Jungkook. He has a really nice, clean, smooth tone to his vocal in For You, and it’s pleasant to listen to. I think he went a bit softer with his vocal takes in this song to fit the tone, so it took some of the natural character out of his voice, but it was perfect for the tone of the song. Jungkook’s voice blended really nicely into the mix, so I like hearing him in For You a lot.

Taehyung: I don’t know if people out there prefer cleaner vocals in a song like this, but I really loved how Taehyung’s vocal sounded like it was changing the tone of the song. I do think that Jungkook and Jin’s vocals are probably best for the majority of the song, but the diversity that comes out of giving Taehyung a chorus is awesome. It saves the song from being flat. Taehyung’s deep vocal tone always sounds gorgeous, especially in softer songs, but he didn’t decide to use a gentle voice in this song like Jin and Jungkook did; his voice was a lot fuller and more forward, and I liked what it did in For You quite a bit.

This is the beginning of the “beat fetish” era of music--i.e., songs that are heavily dependent on the drop, which becomes almost a chorus on its own. Dope is a beat fetish song, and BTS has a few of them; thankfully, when BTS makes songs that are dependent on the instrumental to add character, it always sounds bomb. I know most people agree that Jungkook and Jimin kill in this era, so objectively, I think I’m on the same track, but I think I differ when it comes to Yoongi because I imagine most people would prefer Namjoon.

Yoongi: I just love his sections of this song. That’s it. I don’t really have a reason for liking his rap verses more than Hobi’s or Namjoon’s; I just find myself vibing more to Yoongi’s. I mean, Yoongi’s verse has a lot more bass to it than the other verses, and for a song that depends on the beat, it was nice to get some instrumentality out of Yoongi’s voice on top of the music itself. Plus, he’s got the “enemy enemy enemy; energy energy energy” part, which I freakin’ love.

Jimin: Jimin really sticks out in this song. There are very few BTS songs where it feels like Jimin has a lot of time in the spotlight as a support for Jungkook, but it did feel like that in Dope, and it was kind of cool. I don’t know that Dope needs a bunch of different vocal tones to make it work, and Jimin and Jungkook can sound very similar in songs of this genre. It worked really well to switch between Jungkook and Jimin with just a slight difference in vocal color coming through. That little bit of variation was interesting, and Jimin’s specific vocal tone shone nicely.

Jungkook: If ever there were a Jungkook song, my friends, this is it. It’s similar to Jimin in We Are Bulletproof Pt.2--that is to say, it’s almost like Jungkook is the only one in this song. Obviously, that isn’t true, and the other members stick out more in this song than in We Are Bulletproof Pt.2, but Jungkook is so clearly the face of this song. His voice is exactly what this song needs because the beat is so intense and Jungkook’s vocals are clean but with just enough grit added to complement the instrumental. Jungkook made this era his bitch, y’all.

As I’ve said, this is one of those background songs for me, and it really comes down to whose vocal tone I personally prefer. It’s not even about whose vocal tone blends in the best; it’s just about what sounds interesting to me. I think, objectively, the top three of this era would be Jungkook, Jimin, and maybe Namjoon. This is another one where, for everyone, the MV did touch my opinions on the rankings a bit. But I actually think the coolest parts of the MV align with what I have ranked already--except for the fact that Yoongi isn’t on my list despite having an amazing scene in the MV--so it worked out.

Taehyung: Taehyung’s voice just kills in songs like this. I know I keep harping on his vocal tone--and that’s not stopping any time soon--but his voice adds emotion to this song. It’s not a gentle vocal exactly, but it’s breathy; because his voice is also deep, it combined nicely to push the song into the chorus and then kick off the bridge. Actually, I adore Taehyung’s voice in the bridge because he puts a lot of character into it with his vibrato and the bends in his voice.

Jungkook: Like Jimin in I Need U, Jungkook permeates this song. The vocals for RUN scream Jungkook, to me, because he’s consistently lending his smooth vocal tone to the entire song. It’s a song that needs consistency since it’s quite repetitive. Again, it’s hard to find individuality with this song, though not as hard as it is with I Need U; rather than individuality, you have Jungkook’s clear vocal consistency that provides a nice foundation for the song to sit on, and that’s what makes it work.

J-Hope: Hobi’s verse in RUN was something else. Melodically, I think it was the most interesting part of this song. It sounds so different when compared to the rest of the RUN; I mean, it still sounds like part of the song, but it almost sounds like they wrote his verse for something else and put it in this song instead, and doing that made the sickest section of RUN come to life. I absolutely love Hobi in this song; I vibe so hard. I’m giving the era to J-Hope.

Is this, like, a weird song to include on this list as an era? They filmed stuff specifically for this MV, right? That’s why I’m here. Whatever, we’re gonna talk about it. I don’t love this song, if I’m honest, but I wanted to be thorough, so I’ve got some opinions. I think, objectively, Taehyung would still be on the list, and probably Jin, too. I’m sure other people may choose Jimin or Jungkook, but it’s a short song, so who knows?

Jin: Jin’s vocal tone has so much texture to it in this song. He uses, like, intentional vocal cracks to add character into the vocal, and it really works. Vocal cracks can add a lot of emotion to a vocal take if they’re used correctly, and Jin is a master at it. Again, there isn’t much to say since this is a short song, but Jin sang beautifully.

J-Hope: So good, his rap verse is. He has the same melody as Yoongi in the beginning of his verse--and both of them sound great--but then Hobi’s melody changes and, all of a sudden, the music stops and Hobi continues rapping, and it’s so impactful. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a moment that gets your heart beating a little bit faster. I don’t love much of this song, but the end of Hobi’s verse is really special.

Taehyung: This is one of the few songs from before 2018 where Taehyung’s voice shoots through the entire song. He just has the “forever, we are young” lyric, but it’s sung so often, and it’s basically the center of the song. That notion is going to come up again in a minute, but anyway. Plus, Taehyung’s vocal color works well with the grandiose tone of this track. So, Taehyung owned the era for me since I feel like his vocal was central to the song’s overall sound.

We’re here with another repetitive, beat fetish song, but y’all, this is one of the most iconic songs of all time. Most, if not all, people say Yoongi owned this era. Then people would probably choose Jin and Jungkook. As this song is so repetitive for the vocalists--like, legit, three out of the four of them basically had one melody to sing over and over--I think it really comes down to which parts they gave the members and which parts I personally thought were more important to the song’s iconic reputation.

Jimin: No joke--even though this sounds like a joke--Jimin’s “la la la la la” part is one of the things that makes this song amazing. He killed it because he switched out the sweetness in his voice for something with a little more bass, and it came out perfectly. Don’t get me wrong; Jungkook’s “eh eh oh eh oh” is iconic, too; I just thought Jimin’s build into the chorus was so badass that I couldn’t leave him off the top 3 list.

Taehyung: Look, if Yoongi’s verse was different, Taehyung would number 1 in the FIRE era. I know he sings the same line over and over, but it’s the hook. It’s literally the part of the song that even people who don’t know K-pop is a thing know. I know this because I heard Taehyung’s part in this song everywhere when it came out, and I didn’t even know it was a BTS song. If you’re not counting the first line of the song, I really think Taehyung has the most iconic and memorable part in FIRE. Plus, the way he delivers it is absolutely perfect, and it’s legit all the song is for the last minute. No shade to the other members because they all have things that only they can do, but no one could pull of Taehyung’s line like Taehyung did. It’s such an important piece to this song, so I feel like Taehyung has to rank in the top 3.

Yoongi: After saying all that, even I can’t deny that this was Yoongi’s era to shine. As iconic as his opening line was, if that was all he had in this song, Yoongi wouldn’t have been able to own FIRE. It’s his rap verse that sticks out. He growls in his verse, did you know that? Holy shit, it sounds so cool. The entire verse a full ass mood, and I love it to bits. It’s got to be one of my favorite Yoongi verses in a BTS song. He was in his element in this era. Absolute legend.

This is another song that really comes down to how much I love the vocal takes since it’s really repetitive. I didn’t vibe with rap verses in this song, but that could just be because I don’t vibe with this song in general. Objectively, this is Jungkook, Jimin, and either Taehyung or Jin’s era. The reason I didn’t include Jimin isn’t because I don’t like his vocal tone in this song; I just went with the vocal characteristics that jumped out to me.

Jin: I’ve said this already, but Jin’s vocal texture is really nice in songs like this. I feel like, if I try and describe his voice, people are going to take it the wrong way, but his vocals are a bit more nasal and thin than the other members’, and it allowed him to sound really unique in Save ME. It added a lot of flavor to the song.

Jungkook: I know Jungkook is usually listed as number 1 for this era, and I don’t think that’s wrong. This is another song where Jungkook’s voice blends. It’s like the song was made for him, which is probably why he seems to permeate the whole song. The clear quality of his voice is really nice for Save ME.

Taehyung: My bias has decided that Taehyung’s vocal color is gorgeous in this song. No, honestly, even if I’m being objective, there’s still something to be said for how Taehyung contributes to Save ME. This is song that needs a little bit of soul, you know? And Taehyung’s falsetto is bit raspy in Save ME, which I think lends a lot to the emotion this song is trying to convey. Who owned this era will probably have very different answers depending on who you talk to; for me, though, it goes to Taehyung.

Objectively, Hobi and Jimin are always going to top this era, and I think most people would add Jin into the list. This is one of those songs where I disagree with the popular opinion just a bit--though there will be songs later where I almost entirely disagree with the popular opinion. Keep in mind, I’m focusing on vocal first and performance second. So, yes, if I’m talking about the MV, Jin absolutely sticks out. It’s just that my interests were drawn to other members vocally.

J-Hope: It really came down to the hook of the song, for me. I like Yoongi’s rap verse a little bit better, but Hobi is so freaking iconic on the hook of this song. That’s not to say that his rap verse was bad, though, because the rhythm it has is addicting. It’s a really good, intense vocal take that leads into the sharp decline of the chorus since the chorus is softer in the first half. The hook is where it’s at, though. Honestly, what a legendary part of this song Hobi has. And his voice pulls it off like no one else could--though Jungkook does do a wonderful job, too.

Taehyung: His voice just sounds so interesting in this song. I know some people may prefer Jungkook on the chorus because his voice is clearer while Taehyung’s is more delicate, but that’s why I like it so much. It sounds fragile, and Jimin and Jungkook chose a really forward sound for the chorus, so Taehyung stuck out a lot to me. At the end of the vocal run in the chorus, too, he puts a bit of static into his vocal to come down into his chest voice from his falsetto, and it sounds stunning.

Jimin: This is a Jimin song through and through. I love the diversity you get with Taehyung’s voice, but I also think Jimin’s sweet vocal color is a necessity for this song to sound amazing. Of course, Jimin sticks out in the MV, as well, but his vocals really made Blood Sweat & Tears special. Jimin also alternates between breathiness and full voice in a really masterful way, and it gives a lot of character to his vocal takes. Jimin owns this era, hands down.

This song deserves a Grammy, for real. I’m gonna make a post about that later, so I won’t get into it now, but damn, this song is phenomenal. I’m gonna get flack for my choices on this one, and I’ve accepted it. It’s such a gorgeous song that it’s hard to pick who stuck out, even if I’m being opinionated. Objectively, Jin, Jimin, and maybe Jungkook would probably be in the top 3, but there’s character in everybody’s voice in Spring Day.

Jin: Jin has this uncanny ability to sound ethereal when he sings, and it really showed in Spring Day. Jin was the perfect person to use to end this song; the uniqueness in his voice was a really impactful way to bookend Spring Day because it made it feel like a journey that had just ended. So much story was told through Jin’s voice in this song.

Namjoon: Namjoon sounds so fucking beautiful in Spring Day. If Jin was the perfect member to close out this song, Namjoon was the perfect one to begin it. He sounds gorgeous. I’m not gonna be over it for a long time, my friends. He should sing more, honestly; Namjoon’s voice is so smooth and relaxing. I adore him in Spring Day like nobody’s business.

Taehyung: I don’t know if this an unpopular opinion? So, Taehyung sounds phenomenal when he has to go up into the higher part of his range--which is a lot since most of the BTS songs are made for tenors, and he’s the only baritone. His vocal color is remarkably consistent, in a way that I haven’t heard with any other artist, all the way up his range, and it allows him to maintain the soulfulness in his voice regardless of what register he’s in. The way that manifested in Spring Day resulted in some of the most beautiful vocal takes I’ve ever heard. The vocal cracks, Taehyung’s deep tone, the breathiness snapping into heavy chest voice; it’s all so beautiful. His vocal at the beginning of the bridge is honestly one of my favorite vocal takes from any BTS song. I love it. This song is already emotional, but the way Taehyung’s vocals hit me in Spring Day is why I think he owned this era.

Most people agree that the rap line killed this song, right? That’s probably the top 3 for most fans. I don’t know if I’m gonna convey this properly, but this song is borderline dirty hip hop, right? It’s got really grungy beats, raps, and vocals, so that’s why I say that. The only other song like that in BTS’s discography--that’s a single, obviously, because there’s a good chunk of dirty hip hop B-side tracks--is MIC Drop. This is a preface for what I’m about to talk about, so bear with me.

Namjoon: I had a hard time picking between Namjoon and Hobi for my number 3, but both of Namjoon’s verses were animated in really contrasting ways, and that interested me a lot. The first one was brighter, and the second one had a lot more bass to it. I don’t know if this is the right way to explain it, but Namjoon’s pronunciation in his second verse was so satisfying. It isn’t exactly percussive, but it’s something close--like onomatopoeia--and I enjoy listening to it a lot.

Taehyung: Okay, I’m going to die on this hill--and I’ll bring it up again later--but when it comes to dirty hip hop, if you’re gonna have a vocal on it, Taehyung is always gonna sound bomb. This song isn’t quite the best representation of that because Taehyung doesn’t have that many parts, but you still get the idea. The natural bass in his voice plus the growl and distortion he uses in songs like this stands out in a big way. It’s the perfect accompaniment to a rap-heavy song like Not Today, which is a big compliment considering the vocals in songs like this aren’t usually meant to stand out as much as the rap verses are.

Yoongi: I don’t think I need to explain, but I will anyway. You get the intro with Namjoon, and then you come straight into Yoongi’s verse, and it’s such a satisfying way to start this track. Yoongi’s verse is definitely percussive and it works with the instrumental underneath so well. It’s somehow calm and exciting to listen to, and it gets you really hyped up right away. Yoongi does great things with his voice, too, because it sits really low before snapping up and then going back down; it’s so dynamic. What an icon, honestly. Yoongi kills the Not Today era.

What a pretty MV, you know? Not to throw shade, but whoever said Jungkook and Taehyung should have weird green accents in their hair was wack--even if it was the two of them that said it. Of course, I mean that in the best way possible because they look awesome; everyone looks fine as hell in the DNA MV. Anyway, so I think my top 3 is pretty common besides the fact that I don’t have Hobi. I know this is the “J-Hooooooooooooope” era, and I apologize. If I was just considering the MV and the choreo, Hobi would be number 1. Just know I freakin’ stan Hobi in DNA, okay?

Yoongi: Yoongi’s verse in this song has always stuck out to me a lot. It’s got a lot of pop to it, you know? Plus, after his first little verse, he sings opposite Jungkook, and it’s one of my favorite parts of DNA. Between the sweet vocals of Jimin and Jungkook that dominate the last half of the song and Namjoon’s verse that had a lot of bass, it was nice to have Yoongi pull the two halves of the song together with lower vocal that still sounded bright.

Jungkook: Y’all, Jungkook was absolute perfection in this song. I don’t know what it is, but the parts Jungkook had were tailor made for him. I’d say this is one of the few BTS songs post-2015 where Jungkook’s voice has a sweeter tone to it than Jimin’s, and it really works. It absolutely supports DNA the entire way through. Even though Jungkook’s voice blends into the mix seamlessly, he doesn’t get lost in it, and that’s why he stood out to me.

Taehyung: You would be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t think this was Taehyung’s era. Obviously, some people don’t think that, but so many people agree that Taehyung is the face of DNA, and that’s so funny to me because he almost disappears after the beginning of the song. He’s got the intro, the first pre-chorus with Jungkook, and a couple lines in the bridge, but that’s it, and somehow most people ardently agree that Taehyung owns this era. Obviously, I am one of them. I mean, he barely ever gets to use his voice like he does in DNA; the depth is extraordinary. It sounds absolutely stunning. It’s 100% the key vocal in DNA, and it makes total sense as to why. Taehyung dominates this era, for real.

I know, I know; most people’s top 3 would be the rap line, but sue me, okay? This song is the real power of BTS, to me, because I love it even though I do not vibe with the rap genre in any type of way. This song is hella rap-heavy, and I think it’s bomb. Iconic, even.

Taehyung: Listen, I have things to say. You know what I said about Taehyung and rap-heavy songs. This song makes me a want a rap line B-side song with Taehyung as the vocalist so badly. Give me an album with Jin, Jungkook, and Jimin killing the vocal game on one song and Taehyung plus the rap line killing a dirty hip hop song like this, please. It would be absolutely epic. Taehyung’s distortion, growls, vocal color, all of it, lend themselves so well to this era. He’s got the same lines and melodies as the rest of the vocalists, but because he’s got grit, it sounds like this song was meant for him. The rest of the vocalists do amazingly, too, but Taehyung sticks way the fuck out to me.

J-Hope: Alright, I know Hobi is number 1 on most people’s list, and I apologize. I agree that Hobi killed this song. His vocal at the beginning is fabulous. He intentionally makes it sound more whiny and nasal, and it’s perfect. Hobi is such a vibe in this song.

Yoongi: It was very difficult deciding who to put down as the one who owned this era, but I had to give it to Yoongi because of his delivery. He also made his voice thinner like Hobi, and it lent itself nicely to his rap verse, especially since the vocal was really animated. Yoongi puts distortion on the end of his lines, too, and it sounds amazing. I could listen to Yoongi spit fire on this song for days.

I have opinions about this song. I’m fully aware that, objectively, the top 3 would be Jungkook, Jin, and Jimin, but like I said--opinions. This is another iconic BTS song--at least, in my opinion. Just like with FIRE, I remember hearing this song everywhere before I started listening to BTS. I’m gonna say some things now that you may not agree with, and that’s fine because this is a fun post to make, and I’m excited to see what everyone thinks; just know every BTS member is an icon in my eyes.

Jin: Yo, Jin sounds so fire in this song. In the MV, I’d say he sticks out a touch more than he does if you only consider the vocal, but the vocal is still astounding. It’s not really the range I’m impressed with because Jin is a countertenor, so the C5s he’s hitting are well within his comfort range, but the tone he has when he hits them is remarkable. They’re so clear, but they still have character to them. I stan.

Jungkook: So, Jungkook mostly has the same melodies as Taehyung in this song, which makes sense because Jungkook’s comfort range is slightly below Jimin and Jin’s--though above Taehyung’s. I think the way Jungkook sounds on the chorus is gorgeous. It’s similar to War of Hormone, where his clean vocals bounce off of Taehyung’s--which, in FAKE LOVE, happens in the first chorus--and it sounds so nice. Jungkook goes for narrower vowels, and it makes his vocal takes sound slightly thinner, so it adds an interesting dimension to the song since Taehyung goes wider on the same parts.

Taehyung: Here are my opinions; are you ready? For the life of me, I don’t understand why people stan Taehyung’s deep vocals in DNA and then don’t think the same thing about FAKE LOVE. The way Taehyung sounds opening up this song is just as impactful, to me, as his intro in DNA was. Plus, him singing the melody while Jimin sang the harmony at the end of this song sounded beautiful. The real shit, though, is the chorus. Taehyung’s vocal texture on the chorus is it, fam. I’m not going to say anything about anybody else because people can absolutely love different members as much as I love Taehyung, but to me, Taehyung’s vocal on the chorus was the stand out piece in FAKE LOVE by far. The emotion he conveys and the texture in his voice make him, undoubtedly, the top in this era, for me.

Is this another song where people stan the rap line? It’s more of a beat fetish song than a rap-heavy song, but still. Actually, I guess the top 3 would objectively include Jimin and Jin along with Namjoon, right? Anyway. I didn’t like this song at first, but it grew on me. It was definitely hard to rank, though.

Yoongi: Another fire Yoongi verse lives within this song. He’s so aggressive, you know? He uses that distortion that I love coming from Yoongi, and he does those yips that I stan. It’s a good verse in the first place, but Yoongi really brings it to life and adds a lot of grit to it, so I love it a lot.

Taehyung: I feel largely the same about Taehyung in this song as I do about Taehyung in Not Today and MIC Drop. First of all, Taehyung growls in this song, so that’s iconic and nostalgic at the same time. Second of all, how about that pre-chorus, huh? Again, I don’t want to directly compare him to the other members because everyone is bomb in this song, but Taehyung’s deep voice really brought out the best in the pre-chorus. Besides that, the vocalists kind of just went “oh oh ooh oh,” so my analysis ends here.

Namjoon: I really think Namjoon’s first, opening line in this song is one of the most iconic parts of BTS’s career. If I’m being totally honest, I vibe with Yoongi’s verse more, but Namjoon’s presence in IDOL is so strong that I can’t deny him the title of owning this era. He’s definitely the face of IDOL, and he deserves it because he’s a king.

Alright, so this is one of the most unique songs I’ve heard BTS produce, but it’s not one of my favorites. As such, I ended up being a bit more objective than usual because I don’t have the experience with this song to develop hardcore opinions on who should be in the top 3. I imagine most people would say Jimin, and then maybe Jin and Hobi, as well.

Jin: Jin is not on this list because of “el mariajin,” but that meme is iconic. Jin’s nasally tone really made this song sound special during his parts. It was interesting to listen to him sing because it sounded like it really fit his voice and didn’t at the same time. I absolutely mean that in the best way because I think that kind of disconnect between a song’s tone and the singer can be really fun if it isn’t the case because the singer is a bad match. So, I think Jin’s vocal was awesome and engaging in this track.

Taehyung: This song is another one where Taehyung gets to flex his lower register, and it sounds really pretty. I don’t feel like a lot goes on in this song, so it was hard to rank people, but I really liked Taehyung’s voice against the instrumental. This is a unique genre for BTS, and I think Taehyung’s voice found an interesting place in it that I liked a lot.

Jimin: I’d say this is pretty close to being a Jimin song. His vocal stands out so much on the chorus. This song needs Jimin’s sweet tone for it to pull of what it wants to, so the fact that Jimin got a good chunk of the key vocal in this track helped it a lot. I’m not sure what else to say about it, but Jimin’s voice really fit this genre.

This song is a vibe and a half. Weirdly, I thought it was too generic the first time I listened to it, but now I adore it. Objectively, I think my ranking would still be the same as my opinionated ranking. Well, Jimin and Yoongi might trade places or Jin might replace Yoongi, but whatever.

Jimin: Y’all I was so convinced this was supposed to be a Jimin song when I was first exposed to it. He’s got the sweet tone that matches exactly with the genre of this song, and his voice compliments Halsey’s so well. Jimin really milked his vocal color for all it was worth in this song, and it shows. He did amazingly.

Yoongi: Yoongi’s verse is a bop, guys. It almost sounds lazy the way Yoongi delivers it, and it adds so much character to the song. It’s also pretty animated considering that this song is quite mellow, and it offered a nice contrast between everybody else and Yoongi. I kind of want to bounce up and down every time I hear his verse. Don’t know if that helps convey my feelings about it or not.

Taehyung: Taehyung’s voice in this song is flirting if flirting was a sound. Like I said, I thought Jimin was meant to be the center for this song, but I’ve seen a lot of “Who Owned Each BTS Era” videos, and not a one of them has failed to put Taehyung in the number 1 spot for the Boy With Luv era. I, like, totally get it, though. The way Taehyung presents his voice in this song is somehow gentle and light, but it still has a bottom to it, if that makes sense. And his falsettos on the second pre-chorus? Shut up. This is one of those songs where Taehyung’s specific accent and pronunciation make the song so much better. I absolutely agree with people that this was Taehyung’s era.

This is one of my absolute favorite BTS songs. First of all, it’s relaxing as fuck to listen to, and second of all, the vocalists really did that, you know? This song is hard for Jungkook, who isn’t a countertenor, and it’s hard for a baritone like Taehyung, and they still slapped in Lights. I don’t know what I would say objectively about this song. I mean, objectively, looking at the members’ vocal ranges, Taehyung would still top the list because he had the hardest job. Then I’d probably say Jungkook and Jin.

Yoongi: I know I just said a bunch of shit about the vocalists, but Yoongi’s verse is so pretty. Relaxation is guaranteed upon listening to his verse. It’s kind of a rap, but it’s also kind of singing, and Yoongi’s voice is so lovely to listen to. I want to give a shout-out to Hobi, though, because I almost gave this spot to him. I just thought the melodies in Yoongi’s verse were a touch more pleasing.

Jungkook: Again, Jungkook used narrower vowels in Lights because that’s how he sings comfortably when he’s a bit higher into his range, and it pulled a beautiful tone out of him. His vocals were really gorgeous in this song. Once again, he had a nice contrast singing opposite Taehyung, so it made me appreciate his vocals even more.

Taehyung: Y’all Taehyung being able to sing this high up into his range for the whole song is already impressive, but also having to hit two Bb4s and a C5 on top of that is hella impressive for a baritone. Not only that, but his vocal color sounds stunning when he’s up that high. I said this earlier, but his vocal tone is consistent regardless of the register he’s in, and the way he mixes on the high notes is gorgeous for that reason. It still sounded intense and full and deep despite it being close to the top of his range. This song is a banger regardless, but Taehyung’s vocals are what make me listen to it so often because they’re so special to listen to. He definitely owned this era.

So, I stuck Make It Right on this list because, even though it didn’t have a MV filmed for it, it was still a song which got two MV versions--even though they were almost exactly the same--so I figured it read as more of a single than the songs that were called singles but didn’t get an MV, like Don’t Leave Me. I have no clue who would be the top 3 if you think about it objectively, but I think it’d probably be the either the maknae line or two of the maknae line and Jin.

Jimin: So, this is a repetitive song; it’s a really calming song, so the repetition isn’t bad, but repetitive it still is. Therefore, I was paying attention to vocal color more than anything, and Jimin’s light tone sounded so beautiful in Make It Right. First of all, he does sing a bit deeper in the beginning of this song, and that’s really nice because Jimin’s voice has a lot of character when he’s either lower in his range or belting. Secondly, Jimin’s falsetto in this song is so pretty. There are a few songs where his falsetto can sound much the same as Jin’s or Jungkook’s, but I thought Jimin’s falsetto jumped out a lot in Make It Right.

J-Hope: Hobi sang the same melody that Taehyung and Jimin did on the verse, but it was just a bit different, and I adore it. Hobi’s vocal color isn’t heard nearly enough, and when it gets to be front and center in a song like this, I love it. He’s usually the one in the rap line with the highest vocal tone, but when he sings, he comes out with this lovely, low tone that blows me away every time I hear it. In Make It Right, it made the melodies during Hobi’s part feel special, and there was just a touch of static on his vocal, as well, that brought the verse to life.

Taehyung: I don’t know if this was intentional, but Taehyung’s vocal in the Make It Right chorus sounded like it was mixed to be the main vocal. I don’t know if that’s because this song sounds like it was made for his vocal tone or not, but if I listen to the “oh, oh, I can make it right; alright, alright; oh, oh, I can make it right” lyric, I hear Taehyung’s voice on top and everybody else underneath. It’s gorgeous, though. That’s why I feel like this is his era because his voice runs throughout the entire song in a way that doesn’t happen often with Taehyung. The solo parts he had in this song were done beautifully, as well, because you got to hear him sing in his soft, full voice and then flip into the airy falsetto that sticks out in any song it’s in. I don’t know, I just thought Taehyung’s vocal sounded exceptional in Make It Right, which is why it reads as a Taehyung song to me, as well as a Taehyung era.

Y’all about to fight me in the replies over this one, I already know. ON and Black Swan are the two eras I’m most nervous about posting my opinions on, but it’ll be interesting to see if anyone agrees with me. I know Jungkook is most people’s number 1 for this era and that Taehyung, Jin, or Hobi fall underneath him; that’s totally fine. Jungkook killed it, and I’m not trying to convince you that my thoughts are the only correct ones in any way. If I’m being critical and not subjective, Jungkook absolutely owns this era. My ranking is as opinionated as it gets.

Jimin: So, I had a hard time deciding who to stick in this position since all the rap verses were fire, and Jin also sounded amazing, but I think it’s the fact that Jimin’s vocal sticks out throughout the entire song that made me choose him. This is gonna sound like a joke again, but the “hey na na na” part is, like, a key vocal for ON, and Jimin’s vocal color makes it into a memorable piece of the song. I don’t know if that’s weird, but Jimin felt very present in ON.

Jungkook: I’m sorry, okay? In a lot of ways, the bridge of ON makes this Jungkook’s era. It was an extremely difficult vocal to pull off, and the song basically stops to give Jungkook the spotlight in a way BTS music doesn’t ever really do. I get that the bridge is, in many ways, the center of the song. I was so close to giving the era to Jungkook, I swear, because he sounded gorgeous. Especially the rasp on his voice when he belts. The falsetto note at the top is beautiful, but when Jungkook comes back down in his chest voice and jumps back up to a belt before his solo ends? I mean, he’s an absolute icon.

Taehyung: The reason I have Taehyung down as owning this era is because his vocal sticks out more during the rest of ON. This period of BTS music, up to their 2020 releases, has been doing things for Taehyung’s voice. He sounds different from how he used to, and the tone he’s creating from the songs that BTS has been making recently is stunning. I thought it fit ON really well, and Taehyung’s voice popped out every time he sang. I adore Jungkook, and objectively, he killed this era with his vocals; it’s just that his voice popped in the bridge, and I decided to consider the entire song because the chorus and pre-chorus are my favorite parts of ON. I’m going to say a similar thing about Black Swan, but in a song where the chorus sounds largely the same, regardless of who’s singing, the fact that Taehyung’s tone stuck out despite that was big deciding factor, for me.

Hold on. I know this is a set of unpopular opinions, but remember how I said I was considering the vocal first? To me, these vocals sounded the most unique in Black Swan. Again, if this were about the MV, Jimin would annihilate everybody; if it were about the choreo, nobody could touch Jimin. It’s just not what I was considering when making these rankings. I did consider the performance for Black Swan, but Jimin didn’t have as many central parts in the stage choreo as he did in the MV; plus I thought Jungkook and Taehyung both killed the choreo, as well, so I that’s how I landed on these rankings.

J-Hope: I really love Hobi’s rap verse in Black Swan. His vocal tone is gorgeous, and it sounds really unique in this song. The melodies for his verse are really nice on top of the mix, so I think Hobi probably had the most unique-sounding vocal in this song; it made his verse stand out since the rest of Black Swan is quite dark in tone while Hobi’s verse brought a bit of pop to it.

Yoongi: That being said, Yoongi’s verses in this song slapped. Yoongi can have this deep, almost lazy-sounding vocal tone--as I’ve said already--with really relaxed pronunciation, and for a song like Black Swan, it matched it perfectly. My attention is always grabbed by Yoongi in this song because it fits the concept so well. Also, he picks up right after Hobi’s verse, which had a bit of a brighter vibe, and the way Yoongi pulled it into the darker pre-chorus was amazing.

Taehyung: Alright, so the vocals are my favorite part of Black Swan, but there’s so much processing on the vocalists that Taehyung’s vocal tone is the only one that sticks out to me, and that’s why he owns this era, in my opinion. Taehyung, even, almost sounds the same as the rest of the vocal line, but his vocal color is distinct enough that he sounds different where the rest of the vocalists sound pretty similar. Also, like Yoongi, Taehyung’s deep vocal tone complimented the song really, really well. Black Swan is another example of how the BTS music from 2020 allowed Taehyung to showcase a slightly different vocal color, so I had to give the era to him.

I think we’re in slightly less controversial territory now, so here we go. If you’re being objective, I imagine anyone would say Jungkook topped his era. After, that I don’t know who would be in the top 3 objectively, but I’d guess it’d probably be Jimin and Jin since they featured a lot in this song.

Taehyung: I’m not gonna lie: this is another song that’s pretty repetitive, and a song where the chorus sounds the same, regardless of who’s singing. It’s not a bad thing because all the vocalists have beautiful voices, but since Taehyung didn’t sing “stay gold” once in this song, he stuck out by avoiding the repetitive hook of Stay Gold. I mean, his voice works extremely well in songs like this anyway, but his lovely vocal tone was especially beautiful on the pre-chorus. I think the way he decided to deliver it was really impactful, and it’s probably my favorite part of Stay Gold.

Yoongi: I just love Yoongi in Stay Gold. Taehyung and Yoongi are a hella theme for me in this post, but what can you do? Jungkook technically starts this song by singing the intro, but Yoongi’s got the first verse, and the way he adds just a bit of animation into his otherwise relaxed voice is so nice to listen to. It’s a short part, but it still stands out.

Jungkook: This is another one of those songs that’s tailored to Jungkook’s vocal. Again, the chorus is pretty similar across the vocalists, but Jungkook’s adlibs are so pretty in this song. Jungkook usually does most of the adlibs for songs like these with Jimin backing him up, but Stay Gold had a handful of standout adlibs from Jungkook that added so much magic to the tone of the song. Plus, even though the chorus is what it is, Jungkook stands out elsewhere in the song, and his vocal color is perfectly showcased in those areas. The Stay Gold era goes to Jungkook.

I almost want to save this song for last because it’s so iconic already. Listen, it’s a basic pop song, but the way BTS does it makes it not sound basic. I don’t think it’s one of BTS’s all-time best songs, but I do think it’s been their most successful so far since it’s a basic pop song that can get popular easily, and I think it’s their most repeatable song. I could--and have--listened to this for an hour straight without getting tired of it. It’s because BTS did it, honestly. Anyway, objectively, I still think Taehyung would top this era, but I know a lot of people would say Jungkook should, which is fine; I can tell that, when they recorded this song, they wanted Jungkook to be the vocal center. Also, a lot people love Jin in this era, and they should. He’s a king, and he killed it. Adding onto that, this was a vocal track so Hobi and Yoongi didn’t get a lot of parts, but they killed what they had; I just wanted to say that.

Jimin: I had a hard time picking the third member, y’all. I was bouncing between Jimin, Jungkook, and Jin, and honestly, I think they all did equally well in this song. What made me pick Jimin is that his vocal tone in this song is so different from how he normally sounds--especially when he sings this live. I don’t know if it’s because he stays pretty low in his vocal range for Dynamite or because of the type of song it is, but Jimin’s voice sounded so full in this song. I mean, yeah, he has moments where his sweet vocal tone comes out, too, but he mostly showcases a deeper vocal tone. I love it a lot because it isn’t usual for Jimin, so I think this is a good era for him.

Namjoon: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion or what, but Namjoon kind of feels like the face of this song in a lot of ways. He did say he had a lot to do with the vocal in this song because he’s “in charge of English,” so maybe that’s it, but his part in the pre-chorus was a hella bop. He did it so damn well. Yoongi did, too, mind you; I just think Namjoon brought a little bit of flavor into it, you know? He had all the jams in this song, for real. I remember wanting to highlight Namjoon’s role in Dynamite when I was thinking about making this post, and now I’ve done it, so I’m satisfied.

Taehyung: Y’all. I don’t know if there’s any Taehyung era on this list that Taehyung embodies quite like he embodies the Dynamite era. This is, like, the only moment I’m going to talk about visual concepts in this post because damn. Whoever decided to put Taehyung in that green suit and give that shade of blonde hair was a genius. He was looking some type of way in this era. But that’s not the point of this post. Taehyung’s vocal tone was astoundingly well suited to this song. He sounded the most distinct from the other vocalists than I’ve heard him sound in a long time. On top of that, he got the last chorus of Dynamite, which is the money piece of the song, in my opinion. They really said, “Let’s do a key change in this already high-pitched song that’ll jump up to a C#5 right at the end and give that part to BTS’s only baritone.” I know Jin hit the same note, and he did it beautifully, as well, but a C#5 is more comfortable for Jin to hit than it is for Taehyung because of Jin’s vocal type. The fact that Taehyung nails that note in studio and live is insane to me. To go from one line in their debut song to this? Holy shit, you know? Anyway, we’ve been here forever. Taehyung owns this era because he’s a mad impressive vocalist, and he made Dynamite his bitch.

Are you still with me? I’ve seen a lot of people say this was either Taehyung or Jin’s era, but I think I’ve also seen people show love to Hobi. Honestly, this is such a lovely song that I would agree with anyone’s opinions on who owned this era. It really comes down to who’s vocals hit you in the feels in that special way, and I can understand why any of the members would do that for someone in Life Goes On.

Jin: So, it’s kind of hard to hear in the studio version because the chorus is just everyone’s vocals layered on top of one another with shifting main vocals--which is fine because it’s supposed to feel like BTS, as a whole, is singing this song to ARMY--but Jin’s falsetto is heavenly in this song. He sings lower in his register, too, but I’m really drawn to how light and pretty his harmonies were. You can really hear it when he sings live, but regardless, Jin was awesome in Life Goes On. Even his lower tone brought a lot of character to the song.

Yoongi: Yoongi hits my heart in this song, man. I know he’s kind of rapping, but it comes off as singing, and it’s so beautiful. I could fall asleep to Yoongi’s voice in Life Goes On. It reminds me a lot of Namjoon’s part in Spring Day; we get a unique, melodic vocal tone within Life Goes On that we don’t normally hear in BTS’s music because Yoongi doesn’t usually sound like this. It’s so nice to have Yoongi on a part like this. I support soft Yoongi on future BTS singles. 100%.

Taehyung: Everyone sounds beautiful in Life Goes On, okay? Let me preface with that. However, Taehyung’s vocals really do support the tone of this song. It’s one of those tracks that’s supposed to sound peaceful and emotional, and it seems like Taehyung always ends up being the go-to vocalist for supporting that kind of music. I love everyone’s part in this song; Jin is very ethereal; Jimin is light and sharp; Jungkook sounds clear and smooth; Yoongi’s relaxing vocals are gorgeous; Namjoon brought in a lot of lovely bass; and Hobi kills the delivery of his melodies. There’s just something about the soul that comes with Taehyung’s voice in Life Goes On that gets me. The fact that he was the lead vocal at the very end, too, with the “I remember” lyric was such a good choice because the flip between his breathy, low vocal and his stunning falsetto runs closed the song out perfectly. It’s kind of like this was a fun song that everyone contributed to, and then Taehyung came in and added emotion on top of the warmth you get from everybody else. In my opinion, Taehyung owned this era because he felt like a special highlight within Life Goes On.

Why do BTS’s Japanese songs always hit so hard? I think the only difference between my ranking and the majority ranking is that Jungkook would probably be in it. I understand because I, too, thought Jungkook would be in this. However, upon further inspection, Jungkook isn’t actually in this song all that much. I mean, neither is Taehyung, to be fair, but Jin, Jimin, and Taehyung dominated the last--almost--minute and a half of the song, so. Here we are.

Taehyung: When I first listened to this, I thought, “Wow Taehyung doesn’t actually have a whole lot going on in this song.” However, I think his vocals do sort of anchor Film out in a way. It’s not like he had any sort of crazy vocalization going on, but Jin and Jimin were singing in a really raw way; it was a brilliant touch to convey the tone of the song, but it was desperation, not sadness. Taehyung’s vocal is where the complete story behind the song becomes clear because he adds the missing emotion. I don’t think Film out would’ve been as impactful had Taehyung not been given the parts he was given.

Jin: I mean, Jin killed it. The MV is definitely a Jin MV, but even the vocal features him really heavily. And I loved it. Jin always shines in their Japanese singles, and I think that’s because they’re always created to be emotional. Jin absolutely pulled that off in Film out. He played along the line of calm and tension beautifully, so his vocals definitely add much of the character to the song that we got in the final product.

Jimin: Jimin’s vocals were stunning, let me tell you. He sounded gorgeous. The high notes he was hitting, the tone he chose, the emotion he conveyed; Jimin owns his era, no questions asked. The harmonies he had with Taehyung and Jin in the last two lines? Shut up. Jimin was incredible in this song. It’s not very often that Jimin’s vocals stand out like this, so I’m glad he got the opportunity to be the vocal center, even though it was only for the last half of the song. It was so impactful to listen to him, so I knew this era was going to Jimin the second I listened to Film out.

Was I hella biased about this one? Yeah. Do I know who objectively owned this era? Yeah, it was supposed to be Jungkook. He’s the center of this song, obviously. I’d say the objective view of this era would be what I have, just ordered different. Taekook would probably switch positions for most people. That being said, this song is hard, y’all. Hobi said the recording process was easier than with Dynamite, but if that’s true, then the vocalists really upped their game because there’s C5s all over this track. It’s also repetitive, though, so that’s why it ended up being about who sounded the best, to me, up in that really high range. First, shoutout to Jimin because his vocal sounded really pretty on the pre-chorus, and his part in the chorus was awesome. Also, as an aside, the flirtiness in this song and in the MV had me on the floor, for real. I’ve not recovered.

Jungkook: As I said, I’m aware that this is a Jungkook song. When appealing to the Western market--as they are with an English song like Butter--BTS usually push Jungkook as the center more than they do in their Korean-language songs. Jungkook is my number three because there was really no one else it could’ve been. Which is both about Jungkook’s presence in the song and about how incredible he sounded. Butter, unlike Dynamite, really let Jungkook’s vocal tone pop. Not that Jungkook sounded bad in Dynamite--not at all--but Butter let Jungkook really shine. He got to put a little grit in his vocal, he got to belt; I mean, he sounded bomb.

Jin: Jin featuring more in Butter than in Dynamite has me living, you don’t understand. Y’all, Jin sounded so good in Butter. I could talk about every single line he had in Butter and tell you why he sounded stunning on every one of them. Like, the pre-chorus? Jin’s falsetto was beautiful. The middle line in the chorus when he sings “talk is cheap”? It’s iconic. The way he sings his part in the second verse? I mean, please. I know this is a lot about Jin being my number two because of his vocal, but isn’t that what this post is about? He was a king, you guys.

Taehyung: I don’t think it’s that much of a biased stretch to say that Taehyung owned this era. I mean, we can talk about the center or the amount of airtime or whatever you want, but Taehyung stands out the most, vocally, in Butter, and them’s the facts. No, I do not accept criticism. Jin is a close second, but man, Taehyung sounded so special, to me. I usually don’t catch incredible vocal takes on my first listen of a song because I’m trying to process the newness of it, but Taehyung’s vocal tone took my attention right away while I was watching the MV premiere. I’m not gonna talk about him being a baritone and hitting C5s again because it’s gonna sound like nagging, at this point, but when he goes up that high, he sounds stunning. Stunning. Not to mention, the dance-pop vibe to this song suits his vocal tone so well. Taehyung got to play with his vocal so much in Butter, it seems, that he produced an amazing vocal tone just for this song--and it’s amazing. Taehyung owns the era because--well, because his voice has, once again, devastated me.

I gotta be honest with this one and say that, for the first time, I didn’t walk away from a BTS era going “that member definitely owned this era for me.” After going through the song for the second time after its release, I got a good lock on who I think is the number one, but that still left the last two slots. Number three was the one I really had trouble with, though, because Yoongi did really well with his part--especially since he doesn’t usually sing--and Jungkook’s adlibs were amazing. The problem was that all the members felt equal in this era, and that doesn’t usually happen. So, I really had to analyze what it meant for someone to own an era, and I ended up with these three members because they had the most memorable vocals. Other people would probably include Jungkook instead of Jimin or Taehyung and maybe even Yoongi--which I get because I almost did the same--but this is what I thought was true for me.

Jimin: Jimin almost got beat out by Yoongi, but that was only for a second because I really listened to all the adlibs and embellishments Jimin was doing with his vocal in Permission to Dance, and it made me think he was the obvious choice for my number three. My first listen of this song made me think Jimin was the one that stuck out the most, and obviously, that view changed, but I still think Jimin was a foundational piece of Permission to Dance. His vocal did blend with the mix really well, but his vocal tone actually shone a lot during his parts despite that.

Taehyung: He just can’t help it, you know? If we’re talking about standout vocals, Taehyung’s voice is gonna clinch it nine times out of ten. Permission to Dance is bright and fun, and I thought Taehyung’s vocal brought a lot of warmth to it that isn’t there otherwise. His vocal filled out the song every time he sang--during his verse, the choruses, and the bridge. Rather than being a foundation through his full vocals, though, his vocal actually made him stand out more as a special piece. Also--and I don’t know if this makes sense--but Taehyung’s voice made the song seem happier, in a sense? I guess that would come down to the warmth I was talking about. Anyway, the bottom line is that Taehyung, not only filled out Permission to Dance, but lifted it up and made it even brighter.

Jin: No holds barred, Jin killed this era. Jin also made Permission to Dance sound fuller, but Jin’s vocal had the added quality of making the choruses sound more impactful. Besides that, though, this song was just made for Jin. That’s really what it is. Jin’s vocal tone sounds absolutely gorgeous in Permission to Dance. I don’t know if it’s because of the key or the genre or the melody or what, but Jin sounded so powerful and resonant, and it was obvious to me that he stuck out the most. I don’t know how many others would agree, but I really think Jin shone the brightest in the Permission to Dance era, which is why I had to give to him. 

Thus ends this post that took me two days to complete. I know Taehyung made it into nearly every top 3, but again, it’s just my honest opinion. I always gravitate to Taehyung’s vocal more than anything else because I find his vocal color to be so unique and special. However, BTS is special because of all seven members. I may not have put your favorite member on my list for a specific era or gave them a lower ranking than you thought they should get, but just know that I wouldn’t love BTS’s music as much as I do if any of the members were excluded. All of them kill it in different ways, and all of them have eras where they are undoubtedly the face of the song. And this post is only about the singles, mind you. We haven’t even talked about some of the best BTS songs of all time.

So, I hope you don’t find my opinions annoying, and I hope you share your opinions in the replies, whether it be because you think differently or because you agree with my unpopular choices. Even though I talked about why I think a certain member owns a certain era, I’m just explaining my thought process; I don’t want to change anyone’s mind on who they love in each era because that’s the beauty of ARMY and BTS. There’s so much to love, so I hope to see some love for all the members in response to this post. It was fun; thanks for reading.

[nad-zeta]

Match up ｡◕‿◕｡

Hello! Hope you are well 💕💕💕 I love your writing and especially how you wrote matchups, they are so detailed and very descriptive. Honestly you’re such an AMAZING WRITER. Had to put that in capitals cause it’s important and you’re amazing. So cause I love reading your matchups I want to request one for myself

I’m 173cm and 63kg ( so 5.67 ft and 118lbs according to google) and 20 years old. I have blonde hair silver highlights and they are about shoulder length. I have straight hair but sometimes I curl them a bit so they become wavy. I don’t wear much makeup, usually an eyeliner, mascara and a red lipstick. I wear glasses cause your girl is blind af. As for my look and style , sometimes I’m classy and sometimes I’m retro. Well that’s enough for my looks.

As for my career I’m currently in university studying for Computer Science and working a part-time job in a company for web development. Very nerdy but what can I say I love this stuff.

Ugh so about my personality , I would say I’m very open-minded, most of the time quiet and reserved. And I think because of that my friends have told me I look like a bitch and I give a ’ don’t mess with me’ vibe. And sometimes they tell me if “I didn’t know you I would probably be scared to talk to you”. This so different from what I am. I always think things through so when I talk to people I’m careful of what to say to them, and I’m almost never rude or disrespectful. Well I say almost cause there are some peope who get in my nerves and make me go off, but it is rare as I’m a very calm person . Those people that get in my nerves are people that are disrespectful to my friends and family, rude people in general and especially those who are rude to workers who work with costumers, people that comment about peoples appearances like their weight and color of their skin or their fashion choices , people who are refuse to listen to facts and science etc. I’m very supportive when it comes to my friends, people I love and appreciate ( it doesn’t matter if don’t hang out with them much) . And if they want to do smth I always give them advices or what to do to get better etc. Also I would say I’m very analytical and very hard to open up. It’s usually very hard for me to share personal information and I don’t even tell my problems and worries to my friends. When I’m with people that I like, I usually smile a lot and I’m very talkative and friendly .I’m also very honest with my opinions and thoughts. If I think you’re wrong I would say so and if you have some toxic traits I would say look you should try to fix it. For example my friend used to be very jealous to her boyfriend and I kept saying to her that you should try to fix it or control your jealousy. Also I’m very curious .Everyone has bad traits and one of mine is that I’m VERY stubborn and I have a hard time taking care of myself. Sometimes I forget to eat or I stay up all night and don’t sleep at all and stuff like that. Also I’m very precise as well as when I talk and when I do tasks .

Now for things that I like : I like swimming ( I stay all day in the sea or lake when when I go by the sea or lake) , I like logical problems cause I love solving them, I like crosswords, I like to play chess, I like to learn about things. I like math and physics ( And I always was the best in my class in those subjects), I like painting but I’m not that good at it. I also like traveling .

Okay that was about it. Sorry if it was long and kinda messy but I tried to give as much info as possible so you can best match me. I saw that you have tons if requests so take it easy . Take care for your self and thanks in advance for doing these matchups. 💕💕💕

Omw you are making me blush😳😳! You are such a sweetheart! 🦋☺❤Thank you for all you kind words, all your comments and likes on my posts! I legit appreciate them so much and i get excited every time i see you in my notifys🦋😳❤🌻, you legit make my day, dear! ❤🥰So thank you so much! 🌻🙌Thanks for the request! I hope i can live up to your expectations and i hope it was worth the long wait! 😂😏🌻I hope you have a wonderful day dear! Sending your lots of hugs and i hope you are keeping safe! ❤

So i match you with…………. Hideyoshi

You now found yourself surrounded by a gaggle of warlords, all looking at you, in the centre of the room. You had saved the great Nobunaga’s life a few hours prior to standing centre stage in front off all the warlords. After saving him from the flames, you got spooked and ran through the forest, where Masamune swiftly picked you up and plopped you down his horse. Mere moments after you arrived in Azuchi, you were summoned to the council room to decide your fate. Nobunaga sat before you wearing his trademark cocky grin, while beside him Hideyoshi scowled down at you like a guard dog.

You were relatively calm throughout the whole ordeal, that was until Nobunaga decided to grab hold of your chin and made some rude joke. Your calm demeanour slipped, and you gave a man a piece of your mind, which unfortunately was interrupted by Hideyoshi. The second you smacked his hand away from your face and started to speak up, you found a sword at your throat. Your sharp eyes turned to Hideyoshi as you continued to give the man a piece of your mind.

Once you were done, silence reined as you and Hideyoshi glared daggers at each other. The silence was finally broken when Nobunaga’s laughter ringed out, “she is the most amusing fireball, calm and reserved one minute, and the next, she is exploding.” He then smiled over at you and told Hideyoshi to leave you be, thereafter, he named you as princess of the Oda forces. And so your life in Azuchi began.

You worked incredibly hard for the castle and its people. In fact, you might have worked a little too hard as you started to feel the strain of the emotional and physical stress caused by the week from hell. You made quick friends with the maid, but all and all kept to yourself. The younger maids were somewhat afraid of you, most likely thanks to your intimidating vibe and face expression. It was this distinct quality of your that could even send shivers down Hideyoshi’s spine. Speaking of… this man did not trust you! However, because of your incredibly intimidating vibe, he did not employ his standard micromanagement procedure, instead opting to watch you from afar, while gathering intel on you from your fellow maids. Although, that all changed on one cold winters day.

You had been working so hard and taking up so many different side hobbies that you unknowingly neglected your health. You hadn’t slept for a few nights now, being too absorbed in your tasks, and as a result, your body gave out. You were in the library, helping the resident angel sort out the various books when you collapsed. Mitsunari was by your side in a split second signalling his vassal to fetch Ieyasu. Fortunately, Hideyoshi was low key spying on you, not trusting the new friendship that had blossomed between you and his dear vassal, Mitsunari. At first, he thought you were faking and that you were going to assassinate Mitsunari the moment he let his guard down. But that never happened, you laid seemingly lifeless in Mitsunari arms. 

That is when the stubborn man realized just how stupid he had been. How many times has Mitsunari only sung your praise, saying how wonderful and sweet you were, despite the rumour surrounding you.

Hideyoshi picked you up and carried you to your room where he tucked you in. He sat by your side the entire night. Making sure your room stayed warm and being prepared to feed you some food the moment you woke. Ieyasu had told him that you had collapsed as a result of your lack of self preservation skills. Of course he said it in a very much more Ieyasu way, mumbling about how silly you were under his breath, while handing Hideyoshi a care package for you filled with tea and sweets.  

It was the first time that Hideyoshi had truly looked at you, and he felt a pang of guilt spring from his chest. You looked so weak and fragile, you had dark circles under your eyes, and your skin looked so pale. He asked around only to discover that you had not eaten or slept for a few days due to being too absorbed in your work. It was then that he marched up to Nobunaga’s room, plan in mind.

You woke up the next morning in an unknown room, with Hideyoshi slumped over next to you, happily snoring away. Hazel eyes shot open when he heard you shuffling, and a rueful smile came to rest on the man’s face, “just where do you think you are going, young lady.” Halfway snuck out of the the door, you turned around slowly to see something you hadn’t seen since you arrived, Hideyoshi wearing a bright smile. His voice might have been stern, but his eyes were laced with worry and concern. After a long hour of being lectured about the importance of caring for yourself properly, Hideyoshi broke the news to you. That you would be staying at his manor from that point on wards, so he could care for you personally.

He left no room for arguments as before you knew it, this man was dragging you by the hand to a nearby tea-house. He ordered a feast for the two of you to share. You were still rather cautious around him, as you curiously eyed the food before you, “If you don’t dig in, I am going to have to hand-feed you like I do with Mitsunari.” He sent you a rather playfully charming smile, as he pushed a plate stacked to the high heavens with sweet buns towards you. You were quiet and reserved at first, but thanks to Hideyoshi bright, bubbly personality, he had you opening up in no time. 

He wished he could go back in time and smack himself for thinking you to be an intimidating bitch, cause that is most certainly not the person who is now before him. The two of you spent the rest of the day together as Hideyoshi insisted on making up for his mistrust for you, by buying you everything in the markets.

Since moving into his manor, Hideyoshi would spend every free moment he could get, getting to know you. He loved how bubbly and friendly you were. The two of you could legit laugh and chat for hours on end. Somewhere in your various conversations with the man, it came up that you loved the beach or rather swimming. This man was beaming in excitement at the fact that you were a fellow travelling lover. Since this discovery, you best be sure Hidemama took you on lakeside picnics and beach explorations all the time. He loved the way you would curiously look around and the excited smile you would wear. Whenever he was out scouting and found a beautiful body of water, he would be sure to take note of it and bring you back to it, on a surprise date. You never did get to swim on these dates due to Hideyoshi’s mama bear instincts and the lack of swimwear. However, that all changed one day

You and Hideyoshi had hiked to a surprise location, to have one of your classic picnic dates. Before you knew it, you stood before a small waterfall that trickled into a large crystal clear lake. Your eyes gleamed in delight, and you could help yourself. You removed the first few layers of your kimono leaving Hideyoshi to stare after you. This man was flabbergasted and went red as a beet, as you peeled away layer for layer of your clothing. You wasted no time in jumping into the clear water, happily swimming sound. What was even more shocking was the fact that you even managed to convince the overprotective mama to climb in and swim with you. The two of you swam and splashed about for hours.

Hideyoshi had long ago fallen in love with your bright sunny personality. And amid your splashing fight, he couldn’t help but pull you closer by the waist until the two of you were nose to nose. He looked down at you questioningly as he moved a stray lock of hair out of your face, to tuck it behind your ear. You gave him a small smile and inched up until your lips met in a sweet kiss.

Hideyoshi absolutely adored everything about you from your open-mindedness, to the way you would always think before you spoke. He loved that you were purposeful in everything you did. He also loved your honesty and willingness to help or give advice when needed. It’s no secret that the mother hen is a bit over the top when it comes to Nobunaga and his loyalty. You recognized this toxic trait relatively early on in your relationship, and from what the town’s woman has been saying, it was something that had causes him never to settle down and commit. 

The two of you had a rather open honest relationship, and Hideyoshi respected the fact that you brought this issue up. In fact, you were the one to help him with this slight toxic trait of his. And just as you have helped Yoshi with his negative qualities, he has helped you with yours. This boy knows how stubborn you can be and your reluctance in sharing personal information and your worries with your loved ones. Thus the two of you work on these issues together. Hidemama is always by your side to lend you support of any kind. And thanks to your open communication soon you are able to share your personal details with the man and confide in him whenever you are feeling sad or upset.

The two of you are an incredibly doting couple. Hideyoshi LOVES to spoil you any chance he can get. This man forever showers you in love and affection. You see, He has developed a system to help remind you to look after yourself. He makes sure to eat every meal with you, cause he loves your company and needs to make sure you are getting that good nutrition. He will always be the one to sneak up behind you and envelope you in a warm hug to drag you away from your tasks, to come to bed. Where he will trap you in his arms and shower you with love from dusk to dawn. Bonus points, he loves to take warm bubble baths with you, it is low key his favourite thing in the world to do. 

All in all, the two of you sweethearts are usually found nestle in each other’s arms. Hideyoshi loves to hold you in his arms while he works. Sometimes, he might even just pretend to work and spend the entire time watching you decipher your crosswords, all while wearing a fond smile. He will definitely drop sweet little kisses on your cheeks, forehead or nose during these quiet time. In fact he loves to drop little kisses on your face whenever he bumps into you in the hallways. He especially love to see the slight blush creep onto your cheeks whenever he surprises you with a lingering kiss. More so when the fellow warlords catch the sweet moment between the two of you. 

He loves to spend quiet evening with you, simply playing chess and chatting about anything and everything. Just as much as he reminds you to take a break from work he is thankful for you, for doing the same. He cant help but wear his bright smile whenever you plonk yourself down in his lap and distract him from work, while enveloping him in a warm hug and showering his face in tiny kisses. Loves it when you play with his hair while he rests his head on your shoulder returning your hug. He doesn't know what he has done right in his life to deserve someone as loving and tender as you

 He thanks his lucky stars every single day for having the privilege of meeting someone as kind and wonderful as you.

Other potential matches………….. Sasuke

I hope you enjoyed this dear and i hope you have the best day! Sending ya lots o hugs!🌻😱☺🥰🙈

[leonardcohenofficial]

Oh sorry i just saw your response but oh to be clear I didn't mean like the trend of explicit sex scenes JUST in black sails i was just reminded BECAUSE you're talking about black sails and usually i see you talking about like, mash and that cop show ksjdfhks and idk i think cheers and stuff like that lol... I was also thinking because I recently watched mash and the vibe of like... not just explicit sex but more explicit things in general lmao in a post Game of Thrones world is like... not my

afave or like cup of tea or whatever. Not that it's inherently bad or doesn't have a place in tv or sometimes even serve a purpose but like... it feels like ti's so common now. but yes also idk I've been reading ur commentary trying to decide if I should give black sails another try b/c my main memory from trying to watch was max's assault which was very upsetting :/ altho I heard that doesn't happen again. I just wondered as someone who seems to have a wealth of knowledge in like... old sitcoms

and that seems to be your comfort zone for like comfort watching stuff (or idk maybe I'm wrong? Do you have any fave more modern shows? Latley I've been thinking a lot about the shift from older television esp with the shift from stuff like laugh tracks and staging that mirrors a theater production with an audience/plays. So that it feels more interactive and also communal, made to be watched together. To things that are much more explicit and intensified with the bad & good that brings fhdskjdh

Also sorry this is incredibly long I just find it interesting to see how people feel about or perceive the shift in television. But yes I am enjoy the gay stuff, and women getting to say fuck more is nice :)

MASH the cop show (starsky and hutch) and cheers does truly sum it up sdjfsdjkjklssjkdljkl; i think that i definitely lean more towards older tv on the whole, just given i don’t have cable and it also tends to fall in line with a lot of media i like!! i definitely get the feeling of older television utilizing different performance conventions in order to evoke the feeling of a more communal watching experience, as opposed to slicker more stylized shows produced by streaming platforms that often feel like you’re meant to binge watch them in one sitting alone in a room by yourself. to me, black sails is a show that resists that impulse, and while it doesn’t exactly feel interactive, the way that it’s engaging with the art of storytelling (both in world and on the whole as a program) seems to push back against that; or, at least, given it went on the air in 2013, doesn’t fall into it the way newer programs often do. also irt to max’s assault, it’s something that i skipped through and it apparently never happens again on the show; i was sent this guide in advance of me watching the show, which definitely helped me know when to skip things/avoid triggering material

in terms of contemporary tv (either still airing or went off the air in the 2010s) that i’ve seen and enjoyed, faves include twin peaks: the return, TURN, mad men, it’s always sunny in philadelphia, copper, the newsroom, chewing gum, doctor who, lovecraft country, grace and frankie, bojack horseman, the get down, i may destroy you, and i’m sure many other shows that i’ve watched and liked and am now forgetting as i try to list these lmao; all of these have various warnings and caveats with my recommending them so i definitely recommend researching before you check them out!!

[cloudshapedpatch]

Misguided Royalty

Chapter Three: Impulse Control Has Left The Palace

First / Previous / Next (coming soon!)

💚 💚 💚 💚 💚 💚 💚 💚

Marinette Cheng was a bright girl, but she could be quite impulsive. When she set her heart on something, she pleaded and schemed until she got it. 

And at this very moment, sitting at the dinner table with her mother and the Emperor, she decided she wanted to go see the town down the hill. 

She had seen it from afar; if she leaned over the edge of her balcony she could see a few scattered homes. The best way to see it was from one of the tall castle towers that she was never allowed in, or from the garden. Since the garden was no longer safe (curse Chat Noir and his nosy tendencies) she could not see it. 

"Mother, have any citizens seen a likeness of me?" The words blurted out before she could filter them. A hand slapped over her mouth after them.

"That is an odd question. I cannot say that you have ever gotten a portrait painted of you. Would you like one?" 

"Well, perhaps not—"

"A fantastic idea, Sabine!" The Emperor boomed with a laugh, "But we should wait until she becomes Empress. We will need one then, and there is no point in having two."

"I suppose you are right. A fine decision." Her mother said, then continued to eat silently.

The princess was glad the attention was no longer focused on her. It gave her a little more time to think. If she truly wanted to go through with this awful idea, she was going to need all the logic she could get. 

Unfortunately, logic was far gone. The princess had a letter sent to Damocles with something along the lines of 'take a day off, Empress Sabine's orders', and told her mother she would be spending the day with Damocles in her room. The stage was set, an escape route planned, guards bribed and hummingbird fed, and she was ready for adventure. 

Tikki slept above her head and awoke her before dawn the next morning. As quiet as a mouse, she slipped into commoner's clothing she had borrowed from a maid and secured a satchel with some silver and copper coins (and maybe some gold, who knew what she would need it for?) at her hip. Picking up Tikki (and requesting she not make a sound), she made her way down the servant's halls and through hidden doors until she reached the garden. 

Then, along the creek she crept, past the cherry blossoms, and slowly, into the stable. 

There were many horses she could take. She had her own pure white horse, but that would have given away her riches to the public. Manchu would have to wait for another day. 

At least the princess has some sense. I don't think this is a good idea at all.

Marinette spoke soothing words to a brown horse with one black leg and a large black patch on his neck, his name was Fengfeng. This particular horse had a thick shaggy mane and was quite gentle. Marinette had never ridden him before, but she hoped that his calm demeanor would allow for a smooth ride. 

Much to her delight, Fengfeng allowed the princess to brush him and lay on the blanket and saddle. She's never stopped quietly reassuring him even as they were coming out of the stable and rushing down the road. 

She was free! She could ride down the paved street until the next bend, where it faded off into a packed dirt path. Only a few more yards, and then—

"Your Highness! Where are you going?"

Shit. 

A guard Marinette had never seen before stood at the large gate. He was alone, and Marinette thought wryly it was because she had promised the other one some cookies to be absent for the morning. The horse came to a stop a few steps away from the man. 

"I... I was just going for a ride! It's lovely this time of year."

"You are not supposed to be outside. It is too dangerous!"

This guy was definitely new. Was today his first day? Surely she'd have seen him before now.

"You're new here, aren't you?"

This question confused the guard, and a sly idea came to the princess. "Yes, Your Highness."

The princess slouched against the horse's neck and gave her sweetest smile. "What's your name?"

"...Bruel, Ivan, Your Highness."

"Oh, please, call me Marinette."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Your Highness."

She straightened up as tall as she could, the smile never leaving. "Well, Sir Bruel, you have a lot to learn. What do you want, pastries? Some clothes? Do you want money?"

"N-no! I cannot be swayed. You must go inside."

Marinette was getting desperate. The sun had started to rise and if she didn't leave soon, she would be caught and never allowed to leave her room again. She jumped down off the horse and hugged the gaurd. "Oh, please sir! You don't understand. Ever since I came to this country four months ago I have not left the palace at all! I want to see the village yonder, I want to see what it's like! I need to, sir, if I'm going to be a proper ruler. Please!"

A long sigh was heard form above her, and she knew she had won. 

"Alright, princess. But I will accompany you."

She jumped away from him. "Absolutely not! If you come with me, then everyone will know who I am! I can handle myself."

Before the guard could say anything more, some voices were heard from the garden, along with the clop of horse hooves on rock.

Marinette panicked and pleaded once more with her eyes. 

A look of determination crossed Sir Bruel's eyes. Hastily, he lifted her onto the horse. "Go, before I change my mind."

"Thank you, sir. I won't forget your kindness!"

He slapped the horses rump and she sped off down the road, the air rushing past her flushed face. She had never ridden a horse so fast in her life, and it was exhilarating. When she finally looked back, the palace gates were blocked from her view by trees. And before her, the village came ever closer. She relished in the feeling of freedom coursing through her veins.

It took a little longer than Marinette expected, but finally she could hear the bustling noise of the town. Just down a hill, and then she would be there! How exciting! 

She opted to walk down the hill with the horse in tow to avoid any extra attention. 

At least she is thinking critically now. I mean, who does she think she is? This is incredibly dangerous. What if someone recognizes her? What if— oh no, wait. You'll want to see this. 

She had led the horse to a well near the road to drink. Poor Fengfeng nearly galloped the whole way down, but something tells me he was eager to get out of the stable. While Marinette held onto his lead, she took the time to look around. 

People were milling about everywhere, no one seemed to stand still. Most of the commotion came from her left, where many booths were set up along the backside of houses. A farmer's market! She thought excitedly, and she was suddenly glad she had brought some money. 

Once Fengfeng was done drinking, she tied him to a post where other horses and mules were grazing, and made her way towards the booth nearest her. 

This one sold spices. She had no interest in buying any, but she took the time to smell them.

"Hello, young lady! Would you like some herbs? We just harvested some fresh basil this morning." The old woman behind the table said.

"Oh, no thank you, tàitai. I'm just looking."

"Are you sure? I can give you a pouch for 15 ban liang."

"15? That's a lot for a pouch of basil."

"Where have you been, under a rock? I must feed my children; I charge 15. If you don't like it, you can buy some basil from Hua over there," the woman pointed to the booth across the road, where another old woman was also selling spices. "But she charges 17, so you get better from me."

"Are you talking about me? I can hear you!" The other woman shouted to them.

"Yes! You charge too much!"

"No, you charge too little!"

"No one will buy basil for 17!"

The princess quietly slipped away from the two yelling ladies. The palace cook got basil for 5 ban liang a pouch, so why were these women charging so much? 

She walked down the narrow aisle looking at the various tables laid out with meats, bracelets, hats, and sometimes live animals. Her attention was brought to a man, who looked no older than 40, selling fabrics. 

"Good morning, xiānshēng. You have lovely fabrics."

"Thank you, young miss. Are you looking for something specific?"

"Not really, just whatever looks good."

"Well, how about this nice blue linen. It matches your pretty eyes." The man held up a folded length of light blue fabric. 

She bowed her head slightly as she took the fabric from the man's hands. It was rough over her fingers, and could see it was woven rather loosely, and the wool was coarse. She handed it back to him with a smile and asked about any silks.

"You can't except me to have silks. Ha! I haven't seen a silk merchant in years."

"But don't they come on the Great Wall?"

"Not here. The nice fabrics get taken up by the Emperor. I have the nicest linens around here, I guarantee."

"That's awful! The Emperor can't do that! It's not fair!"

Everyone in the direct vicinity stopped talking to stare at her. 

The man angrily whispered, "You must not speak of the Emperor that way; you will be executed!"

The princess looked in horror at the fear and pity in everyone's eyes, staring at her as if she had grown another head.

Suddenly she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. She was too afraid to look at who it was. 

"I am so sorry for my friend here, xiānshēng." The stranger said, with a voice as smooth as honey. He leaned in to speak quietly to the man behind the table, but still he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, "She isn't quite right in the head, she needs to learn to hold her tongue."

The man nodded solemnly.

"Come, your mother is worried for you." The voice said. Marinette looked up at him and choked on her words. 

Before her stood the most handsome boy she had ever seen. His hair was golden like the sun, his eyes so deep and vibrantly green. He looked to be about her age, but he was almost a whole head taller than her, and quite muscular. 

No coherent words came from her mouth. She nodded dumbly and let him take her away from prying eyes. 

Who was he? Why had he come to her rescue when he didn't know her at all? How was he so attractive?

"That was not smart, speaking of the Emperor that way. He lives only up the hill, you know."

She sighed and exerted her eyes. "But it's true, isn't it?"

The boy shook his head, but the disguised princess could see a smile on his pretty face.

"Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

His hand was still on her shoulder. It sent searing fire through her body. 

"Well, it was the right thing to do."

He suddenly pushed her sideways into a small alley between two buildings. Quiet sounds of ladies washing clothes came from an open window above them. 

A small, wry smile graced his face, but Marinette felt a little uneasy. They were alone now, and she didn't like being trapped by a stranger. 

"What's your name, girl? I think I deserve to know."

Panic seized her. Her name was not Chinese, she knew, and if she told him, he would grow suspicious.

"Bao."

"And your first name?"

"...Genji."

"Well, Genji, it's a pleasure to meet you." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles, causing a fiery blush to abrupt onto her cheeks. Quickly, she pulled her hand away and turned away from him.

"Do I get to know your name?"

He chuckled a little bit, and despite her better judgment, Marinette's heart fluttered at the sound. "My name is Adrien. But you don't get to hear my family name."

"Why not? Are you hiding something?"

"Not at all. I just don't give my name to strangers."

She huffed in annoyance. How arrogant! "Well, if that is all, I must be getting home. I have a lot to do, you know."

"I'm sure you do. Let me walk you home, to ensure you arrive safely."

"That won't be needed, I live just down the road."

"Then it's not any problem for me."

"I must get my horse first."

"I can help you mount."

"I can mount myself."

"A lady shouldn't have to."

Frustration bubbled in her chest. Why couldn't he see that she wanted to be left alone? And his smug smile made it worse. 

I don't know, I kinda like him. He's just as sassy as the princess.

Nonetheless, they argued a bit more before finally she agreed to let him walk her to her horse and get her situated. He kept his hand on her shoulder and guided her though the crowd. Though Marinette wished she could shake him off, she was glad he was there with her, as if he was shielding her from the judgmental glares. 

Once she located Fengfeng (and deflected chatter with Adrien about the horse), she got ready to mount, only for him to grab her by the waist and place her on the horse's back. 

She ignored the blush creeping up her neck. "You had no right to touch me in that way."

"You didn't have a problem with it earlier."

She rolled her eyes. "Goodbye, Adrien."

"Will I see you again?"

"It's not likely."

"Anything is possible."

She laughed out of nervousness, wondering if he was going to follow her. But his smile was soft and sweet as he bid her adieu. 

She waved and returned the pleasantry before nudging the horse to start.

Wait. He had bid her adieu. How did he know French?

Startled, she looked back at him, only to see him standing exactly where he was before with the same smug smile on his face. 

Paranoia settled in her bones the entire trip home. 

And her unease only deepened when she arrived at the palace gates and saw her mother and the Emperor waiting for her.

[moviestorian]

Im glad the asks helped! I have anxiety and depression and can understand what youre going through. My ask today is what are your thoughts on Bo Rhap as a movie?

Thanks! :) I’m above all extremely happy to see people on this site being so kind and supportive in time of need, it’s a human quality that will never get enough praise! I’m also really sorry to hear about your problems. :( I send you lots of love, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I’m sure you're strong and coping❤️

As for your actual question - that’s some truly excellent and interesting timing, considering that I rewatched BoRhap (with @incblackbird) literally three days ago. :P It was already my third rewatch, and while I enjoyed the movie overall, I liked it quite significantly less than upon the last time I saw it. Of course, there’s been gazillion discourses about BoRhap, whether it’s genius, extremely evil, etc., but since it’s such a broad topic (and I think some of my opinions could potentially outrage certain parts of the fandom), this time I’m going to stick to purely cinematic terms.

Needless to say, the soundtrack is excellent - with music such as Queen’s you don’t really have to do much, but they made a good choice of songs, alternating between their best known hits (We Will Rock You, Somebody to Love, Bohemian Rhapsody) and songs to fit the narrative (Doing All Right, Now I’m Here, Who Wants to Live Forever, Love of my Life). It’s practically impossible to leave the screening of BoRhap without at least one Queen song stuck in your head.

The cast was overall very good, too. My personal favourites in terms of acting were Gwilym Lee (who I liked even more than Rami), Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton and Allen Leech - I think they did a great job with their roles as they were written (whether their characters were well written or not is a subject for a whole another discussion). All the side characters were well acted, too (Mike Myers, Meneka Das and Aaron McCusker, for instance, I found particularly memorable), but I must admit I wasn’t a big fan of Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy, but even they weren’t bad. So, acting is definitely one of the strongest points of the film.

Moving on, I also think they did a great job when it comes to costumes (Brian lending some of his old clothing definitely helped) and make-up (except for Roger’s wigs, perhaps); the choreography and stage movement for the characters were super well done, too - and it definitely wasn’t an easy task!

Now, let’s discuss cinematography. I will talk about editing in a separate paragraph, so for now I’m gonna stick to other aspects. The composition of shots struck me as rather mediocre, nothing particularly exceptional in either good or bad way, it was pretty basic but rather correct. Of course, there were some shots I really liked, but if I were to start adding screenshots the post would become way too long. XD The colours I really liked, especially in the musical scenes - they were vivid and lovely, and they used a combination of colours that I tend to appreciate in cinema, like various shades of blue and red. Finally, the camerawork - for dialogue scenes it was correct; again, rather average with some use of handheld camera which served no particular dramatic purpose, but it wasn’t nowhere near very bad, also it’s quite a common thing in modern biopics I would say. Handheld camerawork isn’t bad in default, but my comment largely comes from my personal preferences: in most cases I don’t really like it, especially when it’s particularly shaky. Then, there are scenes in BoRhap which display excellent camerawork, namely Live Aid and We Will Rock You scenes. If most scenes were filmed like that, I would give the movie a higher rating.

Before I move to the worst (imo) cinematic aspects of the movie, let’s have a look at writing. It is probably the most divisive thing in the fandom - people seem to either adore or absolutely loathe it; my stance lies somewhere inbetween. The first time I saw the film (I’m gonna remind you that I’ve seen it four times), I had certain objections, but the script didn’t bother me all that much; I was mostly simply having fun in the cinema. With every next watching, the experience was getting gradually worse, but even now I don’t hate the movie. Yes, some of the dialogue is cheesy, trite and makes me cringe a bit - certain parts of the script definitely end on an “overly sentimental” territory, I can’t deny that. Knowing quite a lot about Freddie, Queen and their stories, I generally think they deserve a better script; some characterisation was a bit offputting and chronology was all over the place. Having said that, I understand where some of those narrative choices come from, as scripts for mainstream movies require oversimplification of events, archetypes, and patterns. And quite frankly, I don’t think BoRhap differs any drastically from most modern biopics; it’s not a masterpiece, but - in my opinion - it’s also not bad overall. Regardless the flaws of the script, the movie still managed to emotionally affect a huge, if not major, portion of viewers, entertain and move them, and honestly? I think that was pretty much the point. Btw, there were some lines that I really loved, like “Puritans in public, perverts in private”, and I still think that their decision to cut from Live Aid performance to Ray Foster’s grim face during We Are the Champions was the funniest shit ever. XD Would BoRhap’s script benefit from sticking to historical accuracy? I’m gonna say yes, I think so - the scenes that were the closest to actual events are definitely the strongest - but this approach would require tons of changes, including narrowing down the narrative scope and probably the characters, too. Also, a lot of people keep forgetting that this is not an arthouse, niche film and therefore resorts to narrative and cinematic choice that compromise between satisfying the fans and the newbies; it’s meant to tell a (simple) story and entertain, not educate and provoke existential and philosophical debates. Still, I think the script could have been done a bit better, because some scenes  (the tour “Now I’m Here” montage) feel a bit...random?

Finally, the infamous editing. I totally agree that it was one of the most undeserving Academy Awards that year, because some scenes were simply atrocious, with their unmotivated and overly fast cuts and unreasonably ridiculous face that doesn’t fit the dialogue scenes, and those are honestly the worst when it comes to pacing and editing. I think the editing is the worst aspect of BoRhap; but even here, I could point at some examples of pretty amazing editing (Oscar-worthy? Not necessarily, but definitely very good); again, I’m gonna bring up Live Aid and “We Will Rock You” scenes, especially the latter, because less people talk about it. I already mentioned that it has some really nice camerawork AND colours, but also the editing is actually really cool, because it’s cut to the music! Which makes me think: “what a shame!”, because if they went with different editing choices, the movie would be affected in a positive way. The way we have it, it’s either a hit or miss (sadly, mostly miss), and the badly edited scenes are pretty striking, so the ones that are done nicely are unfortunately a wasted potential.

Okay, this is already waaay too long, so I’m just gonna finish with a few general remarks. Well, despite BoRhap’s flaws, I still like and enjoy it. With every screening slightly less, but enjoy it anyway. I don’t think any amount of discourse will ever take away my positive experiences and memories from seeing it twice in cinema. It sparked my previously dormant love for Queen and united me with some people in the fandom and in real life; making this movie made Brian and Roger happy; as a result, I like this movie. It brings back a lot of positive recollections, which sometimes is more important than critical discussions. And boy, do I adore those - I’m often critical and I adore analysing stuff academically; but I think that not all daily interactions require those and depending on who’s asking and what about, I’m capable of switching between the two options. If somebody asks me in 25 years whether I remember the times of BoRhap’s release, I’ll be far less likely to say “yeah, the editing sucked and writing was cringy, I remember the discourse on tumblr and instagram” than “Yes, I remember that chilly evening in December when I had a really fun time and ended up with 10 Queen songs stuck in my head”, because the latter is the experience I want to remember.

Thank you for this ask! Hope it wasn’t overly exhausting to read, I didn’t proofread this, sorry! xx

[levelstory]

Music Reflection II, Early 2000s' was a Trip

Well, it has been a hot minute since I wrote a music reflection post. Last time, I talked about various songs from my childhood from the likes of Britney Spears to Stevie Brock. Now I am back to tackle some more music from my most formative years that will make you question how my music taste ever escaped cringy pop music from the Top 40. Coincidentally, all of these tracks are from the early 2000s’ so no 90s’ music here today. Here we go…

Miracles Happen by Myra

This song is the anthem ofThe Princess Diaries. That movie was one of my most watched VHS tapes next to the first Harry Potter film. It is the movie that sparked my interest in film soundtracks, and one of the most recognizable and memorable songs from the album was easily Myra's Miracles Happen. 

It can be easy to forget how much work was once put into acquiring music in an age where most music is available instantaneously. As a kid, my ear was always turned toward the music in any given film and when I got to an age (around 9-10) when I realized these tracks were sold in one package known as the film soundtrack, I made a point to get my hands on a copy. The Princess Diaries is the first soundtrack I remember owning outside of soundtracks from Disney films. 

My most stark memories with this soundtrack are playing it in my bedroom at my old house. Toward the end of our time living there, my family painted my bedroom a light pink and I got a desk that had a CD rack built-in (this was a big feature at the time). My boombox sat on the large desktop against the wall and I can remember listening to The Princess Diaries soundtrack on repeat. There are a lot of great tracks on the album but Miracles Happen is the true star and the true representation of the movie. 

Before I talk about the track further, I just want to point out that this movie is great. We could talk about its problems, which it has many, but it remains funny, heartwarming, and a joy to watch from start to finish. This movie introduced me to Anne Hathaway and she just shines. Plus, Julie Andrews is in the movie and she steals the show! I know my opinion is partially influenced by nostalgia goggles but hey...just let me have this!

Back to Miracles Happen. What is easily the strongest aspect of the song is the chorus. It is so catchy and fun to listen to. The verses are enjoyable enough, but they feel a bit detached from what makes the song so good. The bridge is pretty lackluster. As discussed a bit in my first reflection, way too many songs struggle with their bridges. Look, I get it...but still. The only shining light is that the bridge at least transitions into a tune that sounds similar to the chorus which is pretty great. 

The lyrics are fairly generic which is par for the course. They say a bunch of random things like "we found the missing pieces" and "nothing should ever bring you down", lyrics that have little to no emotional attachment to anything beyond it is a thing people say in this context. But all things considered, it is still a really fun song to listen to.

It Happens Every Time by Dream Street

Dream Street is one of those boy bands that flew pretty far beneath the radar for most people. Their first album released in 2000 and I distinctly remember the marketing campaign on television playing over and over again so that they were drilled into our brains. I guess it worked because I really wanted this album as a ten-year-old.

My friends and I loved Dream Street. I had their poster hanging on my bedroom wall (their album booklet unfolded into the poster). We made up dance routines to their songs. We even blasted the music through my friend’s house and somehow her parents never became angry with us. My most shameful confession about Dream Street is that we used to try and find their phone numbers to call them. Unaware that phone books are limited to local numbers, we would call random numbers to see if Chris or Jesse were home to talk. They weren't, and people were annoyed by our calls. 

One thing people probably don't know is that Jesse McCartney's music career began with Dream Street. I'm proud to say that he was my favorite from the group at the time, and vocally he is the strongest of the group. His voice had not matured yet so it is always fun listening to his performance with his young voice!

It Happens Every Time was their big single and the song most used in TV adverts, accompanied by the music video. What got me thinking about the song and the group recently is due to some unfortunate events. I learned back in July that one of the members, Chris, died in June due to complications with COVID-19. He would have been 35 this year. Chris was often looked at as the Justin Timberlake of Dream Street. He had the fancy frost tipped hair and swagger to him that the other members couldn't compete with. After the group disbanded, he never found success in the same way he did with Dream Street. He died too young and too soon. After his death, I started relistening to Dream Street and it was this relisten that encouraged me to write another Music Reflection. 

As with Stevie Brock from the first installment of Music Reflections, Dream Street's songs mostly center on their lust for girls in a way that is pretty uncomfortable looking back. These boys range in age from 11-13 if I am not mistaken, and their songs deal with mature themes that predate their young years. Not to mention that society has young boys singing about these ideas that they can't help their actions when they lust for a girl or they can't control themselves because a girl has them wrapped around her finger. Our culture normalizes this idea that men are vulnerable to female woes and that they can't help themselves. It is always a bit gross hearing young boys sing about it, especially before they’ve even hit puberty (i.e. Justin Bieber).*

It Happens Every Time is a song about...a song. It follows a boy who hears a "silly little love song" every time he sees this girl or thinks of her. This plane of existence, a magic place where angels sing all around them, is known as Dream Street (name drop!). Admittedly, this song is probably the tamest when it comes to the themes I mentioned in the previous paragraph. 

Now I won't lie, this song is a bop. I'm still unsure if that is the nostalgia talking or not...I will have to dig deeper some other time. But damn I'd be lying if I said I don't enjoy this song. It is so catchy. The boys sing really well for their age. I am a sucker for listening to little Jesse McCartney belt his heart out. Jesse is the highlight of this song, getting a nice solo line toward the end of the second chorus followed by the entire bridge and some overlapping vocals in the final chorus before ending the song. He just sounds so good and I will admit to feeling a small sense of pride listening to him. I was there before his solo career and entry into Radio Disney hits and commercials all over ABC Family. Sometimes it feels like Dream Street is still so unknown that I can keep my memories of them all to myself. Though their time was short-lived, they stayed with me and so has this song.

Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton

Earlier, I talked about how difficult it was to acquire music before the internet. In the case of a song in a movie, there was a good chance that the song you liked would be on the soundtrack, provided a soundtrack was even released. Songs on the radio were difficult because you had to buy an entire album when you just liked one song, or make sure you had a blank tape ready to record when the song came on. Then there were songs you heard while out and about with no context. Those were the worst because you had to try and memorize the song and hope you found it somewhere, someday. That was kind of what happened to me with Vanessa Carlton.

It was her song A Thousand Miles that really gripped me as a 12-year-old. I loved it so much and heard it everywhere I went but never knew who sang the song or where I could get a copy. Eventually, I heard the song on the radio and bought her album...and ended up only listening to the three tracks I liked. One of the tracks, and my favorite of those three, is Ordinary Day. 

If my memory is correct, this song was never as popular as A Thousand Miles on the radio, but it was super popular on the internet. This album came out around the time I first started using the internet and discovered movie montages. I don't mean montages used in movies but montages made by fans on Windows Movie Maker, cut together with a somewhat fitting song. If you were a teenager obsessing over Disney or Harry Potter or...something, you know the songs that people generally gravitated towards with these videos (the band Trading Yesterday were a staple of these montages). Ordinary Day was a movie montage song (every time I listen to this song it reminds me of an Aladdin montage it played over (which I sadly can't find)). 

I decided to watch the music video for this song as I was writing this and boy is it a product of the early 2000s. Can we all just agree that the early 2000s were equivalent to that awkward stage of everyone's lives that we try not to think about? This music video is so clumsy and confusing. There are so many close up shots on Carlton and strange shots of people making out. Who thought this was a good idea?

But back to the song. One thing I appreciate about this song is how it builds itself up. The beginning piano is very nice but then it builds up with orchestration and I love it. I'm sorry I can't talk about it more but I won't embarrass myself with lack of musical instrumental lingo and knowledge.

The lyrics of the song are...ehh? The song is basically about seeing more in the ordinary and how the narrator is shown from an "ordinary boy." It isn't terrible but like the music video, a product of the early 2000s. 

I unapologetically love this song. Yes it is corny and it isn't as musically sophisticated as I would like, but it always makes me smile when I listen to it. I can remember listening to the song on my headphones on long car rides and with friends. It is just a song that makes me feel happy and gives me no reason to feel otherwise. 

All I Can Do by Jump5

Well...I'm surprised it took me this long to arrive at Jump5. What is there to say about this Christian pop sensation? Quite a bit actually. I was only obsessed with them for a good chunk of my early teens. Reflecting on that time of my life is strange because in hindsight, it was such a short period but it always feels like it lasted much longer. 

Everyone has that one band that they really connect with as a teenager that basically shapes their entire life and...well, yeah, that band for me is Jump5. I'm not kidding, I could write an entire book about how this band shaped my entire life (and believe me, I am working on it!). As much as I'd like to talk about all of that, we only have a short amount of time so let's talk about this song. 

As with Ordinary Day, this song reeks of the early 2000s. However, unlike Ordinary Day, the music video is much more successful in its execution. I couldn't believe myself when rewatching it...it is actually pretty darn good as far as music videos tend to be. 

Choosing what Jump5 song to talk about was pretty difficult because there are so many in their arsenal that I can talk about for long periods of time and connect to life experiences. But All I Can Do seems to be a special one because I'm almost certain it was the first track I ever heard from the group. As with Dream Street, Jump5 had a big TV marketing campaign for their second album, All the Time in the World (in which All I Can Do is the first track). It was their TV advert that put them on the radar for me. I vividly remember seeing the commercial at Christmas time. It was the first Christmas spent at our new house and I can remember watching the TV with my gifts and snow falling outside. At this point, seeing pop bands advertised on TV was nothing new. There were always new groups trying to make it big as other pop acts had before them. But other than my memory of seeing this commercial, it otherwise didn't leave a big impact on me. I wouldn't start listening to Jump5 until a few months later after getting into Radio Disney. And even after I got into Jump5, All I Can Do was never one of their songs that I gravitated towards. 

I wanted to talk about this song because of how well it represents Jump5 as a group. All I Can Do is their quintessential track, packed with energy and fun lyrics. But the track is also a representation of the group's core aesthetic of disguising "Christian values" as a pop song about a crush. For anyone who grew up on a Christian media diet (as I did voluntarily as a teenager), this is nothing out of the ordinary for this type of entertainment. In fact, it is basically a meme at this point. All I Can Do may be the least overt example of this from Jump5's library, but it is still an example nonetheless.

“It's like I got nothing to do but think about you,” (you being God), "I've got all the time in the world," (implying that time does not matter because in God you have everlasting life), "if you look at my heart, you'll know from the start," (meaning God knows your true heart and He knows from the start). I could go on but I think you see my point. There isn't anything inherently bad about this example and it is fairly harmless, but this isn't always the case when it comes to Christian entertainment.

Another trend from the late 90s' and early 2000s' was a pop group being a mix of both guys and girls but the guys rarely sang (A*Teens is another example that might come to mind). This song is dominated by the girls who share most of the song equally. The guys are hardly ever heard at all except when Chris gets his time to shine echoing the song's title over and over. It is easy to forget about them but alas, they are there.

Jump5 were known for their dance routines that they performed alongside their songs. They would often do cartwheels, flips, and very technical dance routines that blew many other pop acts out of the water. They also performed these routines live on tour, not just in their music videos. This dance routine is a really memorable one, showing the group doing a train-like dance which I remember performing with a friend. It is a lot of fun and I won't let anyone tell me otherwise! It was a lot of fun revisiting this track.

Is It Saturday Yet? by Nick Carter

Well here we are, at the final song, and boy is this choice...let's go with interesting. Nick Carter, known for his Backstreet Boy fame, recorded his own solo album after the group disbanded. What we got was Now or Never which is only ever remembered by the song Help Me, and even that is pretty forgettable. All that said, I owned this album and listened to it quite a bit as a tween. My most specific memory with the album is listening to it on a long car ride to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Is It Saturday Yet? is the seventh track on the album and out of the five tracks I liked, this was probably at the bottom. 

So why talk about it if it was my least favorite track? Well friends, this track is so bizarre that I question its existence on a frequent basis. It is insane how often this song gets stuck in my head and won't leave. 

The song seems to be about a disengaged teenager being raised by Jerry Springer and video games (video games got a low blow for warping kids brains back in the day. They still get blamed today but it isn't to the same extent) who just can't wait for Saturday to come so he can be rid of his responsibilities. The lyrics are...dumb. They are clearly trying to make a point but the song is so ridiculous that it is white noise. And why is it that Nick and Aaron Carter always have to reference each other in their songs? It was cute at first when Aaron did it in his classic track Oh Aaron, but now it is just old. 

"Is it Saturday yet? Cause I wanna get up. Is it Saturday yet? It just feels like a Saturday. Maybe it's a Saturday." Those are the lyrics in the chorus. It is a song so devoid of meaning and so lazy to its very core. It contains lazy rhymes and brutal instrumentals. This song is the reason so many people describe pop music as empty trash. Like, don't get me wrong, a lot of music on the radio is pop trash and is clearly put together by big corporate higher-ups to make a quick buck on teenage stars locked in a contract. But some of that music is meaningful and deserves to be recognized. This song, however, deserves to die a painful death. It is just terrible. 

And yet, despite all of this, the song somehow still appeals to me. I still listen to it. I still find joy out of it even though it is just awful in every possible way. I think that speaks to the whole point of these reflections on the music I listened to when I was younger. 

Is It Saturday Yet? may be the worst of the bunch, but a lot of music cranked out back in the day was mindless entertainment. As much as it bothers me, I won't lie and say there is no place for music like this because there is. Sometimes when I am driving, I get so sick of the music I normally listen to ("good" music) and I just want music from my childhood that won't make me think but will just allow me to bake in nostalgic goodness. 

Revisiting these songs was fun, but I know there are more I want to talk about in the future! Stay tuned! What are some songs you listened to in the early 2000s’ that make you feel super nostalgic today? Let me know in the comments!

* It should also be noted that the band broke up because of a lawsuit in which the majority of the parents of the band alleged that the underage band members were "exposed to booze, women, and pornography."

[grandtheftstarship]

To the Moon and Back(Spock x Fem!Reader) [Request!]

“Hi there! I’ve never done a request before so I hope I do it right. I was wondering if I could request a Spock fic with prompt number 6, and prompt number 30 (also I love your work so much, such a talented author ❤️)” -anon

Hi anon! Thank you so much for the kind words! It really means a lot to me :) I keep just rereading it and every single time I smile! Enjoy your request! I really hope you like it!

Also, OMG @thefanficfaerie REBLOGGED TWO OF MY FICS I THINK I’VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN. 

Also also, I’m SO SORRY THIS IS LATE!!! Please understand that I am youngish and still in school! I’ve also just started driving school and now I’m going to have even less time... But I will be getting fics out! If you send in a request, it does help with the production of more fics and helps eliminate writer’s block! 

Prompts: 6. Less talking, more kissing 30. For once in your life could you please just listen to me?

Request something!

Word Count: 1693 Warnings: swearing Posted: Tumblr, Wattpad

You were pissed. Furious, seething, fuming. Even those were understatements. You had been with Spock for two years. Two years. You loved him, oh god you loved him, but in this moment you couldn’t hate him more. 

He had gone off and risked his life again, throwing himself into that volcano without a second thought and urging the captain to leave him there, all to protect the prime directive. The first time he tried to sacrifice himself for the good of others you thought he was a hero. Of course, you were worried sick and promptly hit him the second he stepped off the transporter pad before embracing him tightly. The second time, you were a bit irritated but proud of him nonetheless. As the count began to grow your frustration grew with it. 

You understood that he was Vulcan and first officer, both giving him duties he had to follow. His duty to his Vulcan heritage was to refrain from showing his emotions, which he typically followed to the T. He had explained to you once that his reason for putting himself in danger was because he knew that he could handle and accept death better than any human aboard. Just because you didn’t like it didn’t mean that you didn’t understand. Him being the first officer meant that he was responsible for the lives of the crew too, which he also explained that it was his duty to keep everyone safe even if it meant sacrificing his own life. What Spock didn’t realize, though, was that he had overlooked one other commitment. 

His commitment to you.

The Vulcan didn’t understand that by devoting himself to his culture and job, he was neglecting his responsibilities to your relationship. As smart as he was, he was still new to having a girlfriend and the commitments and time that was required to keep it alive. Even though two years had passed since you two had begun dating, you were still patient and accepting with his boundaries and his ways. You did love him, after all. 

That being said, you were still pissed. And that was why you were avoiding him. You knew that he wouldn’t take an outburst of anger from you well, so you tried to avoid the problem altogether instead of facing it. That paired with your fear of confrontation and social awkwardness lead to you going to extremes to avoid your boyfriend. You changed your shift, took different routes to your shifts (one time, you saw him coming down the hall so you literally took the Jefferies tube all the way down to deck seven) and you ate your meals at different times.

Yeah. You hated confrontation. 

Your day started out how the last few usually did; you woke up, got dressed, and snuck to the mess as early as possible to avoid your Vulcan S.O.  Who you didn’t realize you would run into was the captain himself. You crept in the mess, empty besides a few stragglers from the graveyard shift. You weren’t looking where you were going while you scanned the room for pointy ears and you collided with Jim’s back, enlisting an “oof” from the captain. 

Before you could run away, he turned around. 

“[y/n]?”

Fuck.

“Oh, hey Jim. What’s up?” you asked casually.

Jim scowled, crossing his arms. “Don’t ‘hey Jim’ me. What is going on? You’ve been avoiding me, Bones, and Spock like the plague all week and the Vulcan is as worried sick as he can be, no pun intended.”

You shifted on your feet, the guilt washing over you making you want to curl up in a corner. 

“I’m mad at Spock,” you muttered. 

“Why?” Jim pressed.

Frustration started building up in your chest, the constricting feeling pairing itself with the need to cry.

“I’m just so worried about him,” the frustrated tears burned your throat, shaking your voice. You looked up at his surprised face, eyes blurring. “Why, Jim? Why do you let him risk his life like that?”

Jim pulled you in, embracing you tightly as you let it out softly.  When you felt like you finished, you mumbled an apology for staining his uniform.

“Don’t worry, I can change it on my way to the bridge,” he replied, rubbing your back and changing the subject. “Why are you worried about him? You know that Spock can take care of himself.” 

You nodded, rubbing your eyes. “I know but... I’m terrified that one of these days he’s not going to come home. Jim, if he dies it’ll destroy me. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“Why don’t you just tell him that? Ghosting him won’t make things any better.”

“He has duties,” you sighed. “Responsibilities to the ship and his culture. I can’t ask him to abandon those things just for me.”

After a beat of silence, you spoke again, softly.

“Jim, what if he doesn’t love me? What if he doesn’t care?”

“[y/n], how could you even think that?” Jim looked at you, incredulous. 

“It’s just that,” you paused to cross your arms over your chest, closing yourself off. “I don’t think he understands the emotional pressure that puts me under. I know I have to cut him some slack for being a Vulcan, but maybe that just means we aren’t meant to be.”

Jim looked at you for a minute, conflicting feelings warring over his features. 

“You can’t just assume these things [y/n],” he said finally. “Relationships require honesty and communication and if you want this to last then you have to give him at least that.”

You nodded, turning away. “Thanks, Jim.” 

With that, you walked briskly away, forgetting about breakfast entirely. You needed to work. You needed to be alone. Your feet took you all the way down to engineering while your mind was drowning in your multitude of thoughts, absent-mindedly picking up a wrench and getting to work on a sketchy control panel. 

Your thoughts were filled with your predicament with Spock the entire time you worked. Eventually, you gave up on working and sauntered back to your quarters, numb and confused. 

You let your eyes study your boots as you swiped your palm in front of the sensor at your door. You walked in slowly before becoming suddenly aware of the presence in the room. You looked up slowly, taking a step back when you realized who it was. 

“[y/n]-” 

“Why are you in here?” you interrupted him, putting on a blank expression. The Vulcan didn’t show any outward sign of being hurt by your comment besides sitting up a little straighter.

“The captain has informed me how you were feeling,” he replied curtly.

“Of course he did,” you muttered, sweeping past him towards your room. All you wanted was to put on your PJs and eat an entire pint of ice cream. “Damn infant can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“I believe that we should speak about our relationship,” he stated, turning as you passed him. 

You scoffed as you took off your uniform, replacing it with an old oversized T-shirt that had some old band’s faded logo sprawled across the front. You didn’t care about Spock seeing you change, as you had been with him in various stages of undress in the past and it was too late to be awkward about it now. “Are you trying to break up with me?”

“That was not the type of conversation I was referring to.”

“Then what is it,” you snapped, narrowed eyes meeting his.

He approached you slowly, bringing his hands up and down your arms. “Why are you angry with me? If I have done anything to upset you it was inadvertent.”

“I can’t- I can’t keep doing this Spock,” you took a step back, out of his arms, and you watched as his hands fell limply back down to his sides. 

“Are you ending things with me?” he returned your question.

You shut your eyes. “No- Maybe-” You sighed. “I don’t know.”

 Spock held your gaze, silently urging you to continue. 

“When you threw yourself into that volcano, you didn’t give a single thought to us,” you could feel your voice crack. “To me.”

He looked away.

“You didn’t feel anything. You didn’t care.”

He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off again. “You have no idea what it would do to me if you died Spock. For once in your life, would you please just listen to me?” 

He was silent for a minute. 

“My intention was never to hurt you,” he began slowly. “But your suggestion that I do not care is incorrect. It is true that I chose not to feel anything upon realizing that my own life was ending. I have felt the emotions that one feels in the moment of one’s passing. Anger, confusion, loneliness, fear.”

He paused, taking a step closer.

“I had experienced those feelings before, multiplied exponentially the day my planet was destroyed. Such a feeling is one that I chose to never experience again, nor have anyone else feel.”

He was right in front of you now, staring into you with an intensity he had never shown you before. 

“[y/n], you mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring, while I assure you the truth is precisely the opposite.”

You looked up at him, bringing your hand up to rest on his cheek softly. He mirrored you, thumbs stroking your cheekbones softly. You let him close the distance between you, capturing your lips in a sweet, loving kiss, he gripped your face tightly as he poured all of the feelings he couldn’t put into words into the act of intimacy. 

“I love you,” you tried to pull away to speak but he chased your mouth with his. 

“Hey-” he cut you off again and you giggled against his lips, feeling him smile. You were taken aback and you gasped, giving him the right away to deepen the once-innocent kiss. 

You weakly pushed on his chest and he gave, even though he was strong enough to fight you.

“Let me say something,” he could hear the smile in your voice as you beamed up at him. 

“Less talking, more kissing,” he replied, pressing himself against you again. You laughed, blissfully succumbing to his warm embrace.