#Alfred: I'd like to do this myself

[violent138]

Alfred's daily crossword habit is completely ruined by his brood of children because none of them ever refrain from giving him answers over his shoulder, completely unashamed. Bruce is the worst, he'll take the pen right out of Alfred's hands to fill in an answer.

[my-current-obsession]

I see a lot of people saying that the royals (mostly Alfred, but I’ve seen a fair bit of complaining about all the others too) are statistically bad in Engage. I have to wonder, what difficulty is this based off of? On my Hard playthrough most of the royals were my best units, and Alfred in particular was amazing. Ivy and Celine were probably the weakest two - Ivy due to being a bit slow and having AWFUL dex and luck, and Celine just lacking power due to splitting her attention between strength and magic.

Is it just Maddening that they’re specifically bad for? I have not (and will not) played that mode in any FE but my impression is very much that Maddening mode is a different experience and you’re basically forced to play a certain way to win. That’s probably even more true here since fixed growths are in play, so you can’t count on RNG to give you good units. You have to find the ones that the game wants you to use, and stick with them.

For me, one of the biggest joys of FE has always been the RNG of it all - I love the random growths meaning different characters shine (and suck) each run, which encourages you to give different units a try. I love that, at least on Normal and Hard, you have enough breathing room to basically play how you want - favor the units of your choice, reclass whoever into whichever classes you fancy, etc - and doing so MIGHT make your life harder but probably won’t doom your entire run. The versatility and random nature of your units growths makes strategy & combat in this game infinitely more appealing and adds to its replayability.

Like I LOVE Persona games and Stella Glow (which gameplay wise is fairly similar to FE) but in those games the characters are what they are, and the stats on level-up are set in stone. Once you’ve done ONE run and know what works, Complacent Gaming kicks in and you repeat the exact same steps in future runs. In FE even if you use the same characters in the same classes, their performance WILL vary based on how blessed or cursed the RNG has been for them.

If Maddening IS as difficult and particular as I’m assuming, and basically every unit’s viability is determined from the moment you get them and you HAVE to play a specific way to win... is it really right to judge units based on that specific difficulty? Like, sure, so-and-so SUCKS on Maddening, but so does EVERYONE except this specific handful of units and if you use anyone else you’re just hurting yourself.

I feel like we should be judging characters based off a difficulty where everyone is at least VIABLE from the beginning, but judging how likely they are to REMAIN that way based on their growths/classes/personal skills/etc.

To put it another way, what would a tier list of a Maddening run look like? My impression is that it has two, maybe 3 categories of who you can actually use, who gets benched immediately, and MAYBE a middle category of who exists to fill a spot on the team and take a few hits/deal a smidge of damage for just a little while until someone better comes along to replace them. Meanwhile on Normal and Hard you can have a full spectrum of who on average is statistically the best through the worst, with everything in between. And considering several “unusable” units on Maddening are at least GOOD or even better on a normal or hard run, can you really call them bad? At the very least CLARIFY you mean they’re bad on Maddening specifically instead of in general.

[phoenixcatch7]

Lmao I'd love to see a fic where batman like. Doesn't talk at all. He just 'hn' and 'hrm's his way through the story like a Minecraft villager. All the bat kids understand him perfectly.

I actually know people irl who can do this, and I've done it myself during bad migraines, it's practically a second language, so I know it's totally possible to have full conversations between two speakers XD!

It'd be another degree of separation between Brucie Wayne, the ditzy, breathy playboy and batman, who used up all his vocal spoons for the day and now communicates solely through unintelligible grunts and sharp hand gestures when he doesn't need to talk to strangers.

Unfortunately, the best way to learn grunt speak is the same way most languages are learned, and there's no written word (outside of emoji, of course): immersion. And the justice league are no longer considered strangers.

This leads to:

Hal: which way do we go, spooky? Where's the tracker pointing?

B: *grunt*

Hal: what?

B: *insistent grunt*

Hal:..... Can we point?

B: *dour look* *slowly raises arm to point left down the street* *sharp, insistent grunt*

Hal, dryly: don't strain yourself.

-

Damian: greyson. I am calling because father has had an injury and is bed bound for tonight, however Alfred is downstairs and the rest are still on patrol. I am still in the early stages of learning father's intonations. Please translate.

Nightwing, eldest, regularly called for exactly this reason by just about everyone Bruce has ever spoken with since he was a kid, ranging from arkham guards to jl members: *heavy sigh* put him on.

Bruce: hrng...

Nightwing: He's telling you to close the curtains and keep the noise down, he's got a headache.

Damian, over the sound of footsteps and fabric rustling: it truly is just like another language.

N: nah, it's a lot of probability. I've known b for years, I can guess pretty well. There's a lot we can say. For example, that grunt actually carried a lot more meaning, I just trimmed it down.

Damian: truly?

N: yup! If I had to be pedantic, it actually meant 'I am in quite a lot of discomfort, the cause of which is my head, and I am struggling to manage it on my own. Please aid in my cause, my darling sons whom I love dearly -'

Damian: *muffled noise through the phone*

N: that'll be him telling us to shut up. But you can see why I asked you to close the curtains.

Damian: fascinating. I shall take this under advisement.

-

B, exhausted after a long day of board meetings as Brucie: *moody silence*

Gordon: Batman, how's it going?

B: *glower* *drawn out grunt*

Gordon: that bad, huh?

-

Supes, during a briefing: I believe it would be best if we attacked from the north, we've enough flying members to crest the mountains and ambush then that way - Batman?

B: *quiet grumble, with pointer fingers moving in semicircles*

Supes: ah, I see. You're right, we'd be too visible if the sun rose behind them*turns to see the other members standing behind him* what?

Flash, bowing at the waist, palms together over his head: teach me your ways, oh mighty bat-speaker.

[julymusings]

Jason Todd & Cooking

I always go back and forth on how much I want to include "Jason loves to cook" in my writing because I'm not sure how much is canon and how much is fanon so can we open it up to discussion pretty please I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.

Here are my arguments:

Experience: Jason grew up poor and largely had to parent himself. So he must know a little bit of cooking, even if it's the bare basics that's only enough to keep him alive. It's plausible this taught him how to be creative and thrifty with meals because he had to make do with whatever he had, so we can assume that if you drop him in a kitchen with random ingredients, he can figure something out.

Knife skills: I've seen other authors (myself included) write him as good in the kitchen because he's efficient with a knife from being a vigilante. I don't have much to say on this, just that I think that's also a fair assumption considering he underwent training with the League of Assassins and became highly-skilled with wielding blades.

Love language: He's the kind of person who, due to his trauma, has difficulty opening up to people and trusting them (it's confirmed he cries during sex so this is an objective fact idc). When it comes to having a romantic partner, it might not be easy for him to express affection through words, so he relies on actions. If you like flowers, he buys you flowers. If you like a dish, he makes it for you. So yeah, this might not have concrete evidence in canon, but I'm gonna choose to believe that he would enjoy cooking for someone he loves.

Art hoe?: We know he appreciates good literature, so does that extend to other forms of creativity?

Hands: (I don't actually know how much of this is based in canon but whatever) He likes to work on his bike, he's meticulous with taking care of his guns & weapons, so it's safe to assume he likes working with his hands. It's engaging enough to distract him from his thoughts and he feels satisfied/proud when he's done with the work. So even if it's not something he loves to do as a "safe space" because of cherished memories with Alfred or anything, he might still enjoy it.

^^on that note, what do you think some of his 'safe spaces' are? Like I guess reading would be one, maybe working on his bike would be another? Idk, what does anyone else think. p.s. I'm using safe space to mean something that makes him feel happy and gives him a break from his demons yk

Also I did only make this as a defense for the "Jason Todd had a charcuterie board obsession phase" post sitting in my drafts because I BELIEVE he DID!!!!!!!!

Anyway please let me know your thoughts I'm frothing at the mouth for human interaction

[thevoidstaredback]

How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have

They had planned to leave before Bruce got back to the Manor, but plans change all the time and it wasn't Danny's fault!

Alfred had invited a friend of Dick's, Barbra Gordon, to the Manor for dinner, meaning that Dick had to stay if he wanted to see her. And since Dick was staying, Danny was staying. Tim wasn't about to leave Danny to Bruce's mercy, so he was staying for dinner, too.

Bruce Wayne arrived at Wayne Manor exactly three and a half minutes after six in the evening. He entered the kitchen exactly ten minutes and five seconds after that.

The air was tense.

Dick had been tense since Danny first roped him into coming to Gotham, only getting worse as they got closer to the building they were now sitting in. Now that Bruce and Dick were in the same room, it was like the rope had frayed to the point of snapping with a light breeze.

Bruce sat at the head of the table with Tim to his left and down a chair. Dick sat at the foot of the table, Barbra sitting to his immediate right. Danny sat on the unoccupied side of the table, directly in the middle.

No one was saying a word.

Danny was on edge.

Finally, "Dick," Bruce said.

"Bruce," was the response.

As if the spell had been broken, though the awkwardness remained, Barbra cleared her throat and said, "It's good to have you back in Gotham, D."

Dick smiled at her, soft and happy and relieved. "It's good to see you, Babs. How've you been?"

"The same as usual. Though, Condiment King again!" She glared when Dick started laughing. "Yeah, sure, laugh it up, Wonder Boy. It took three hours to get that mustard out of my costume! It's easier to get blood out of white carpets-!"

Bruce pointedly cleared his throat, bringing all attention to him. "As good as it is to see you, Dick, who've you brought with you?"

Barbra flinched back slightly, having forgotten Danny was even there. Oops.

Danny grinned at Bruce, hiding his nerves behind his favorite fake-it-'til-you-make-it smile. "My name's Danny, it's nice to meet you Mister Wayne! I have to say, you're a lot less smiley in person than you are on the internet."

He hummed. "I apologize. Today's been an off day."

"No need," Danny waved off politely, "I get it."

"I have to say, Daniel-"

"'Danny', please. My name's Danny."

To his credit, Bruce didn't even skip a beat. "Then, call me Bruce. I must say that I didn't expect Dick to have taken anyone in."

Danny chuckled a bit. "I think it's less of him taking me in and more of me kind of letting myself into his house."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I noticed he wasn't doing too well, so I figured I'd step in to help where I could before he got himself hurt." 'Or worse' was heavily implied. "I imagine Tim did much the same with you?"

Tim stiffened as Bruce sighed. Well, that's not a good sign.

"Yes, though Tim doesn't live here."

"He has a room, though, right?"

"Of course."

"Good. I can't imagine having to travel with the kind of injuries you guys get at night is very fun." Here, he turned and looked Barbra in the eye. "Honestly, you deserve a prize for traveling from here to wherever you live after getting injured."

Barbra smiled sheepishly, "Thanks? I don't really come here, though. Only on occasion."

Bruce interrupted before the conversation could continue, "What do you mean? Dick's the only one of us who could possibly get hurt on the job." He shook his head. "Honestly, why did you ever join the BHPD? It's too dangerous."

Oh, Danny had to put a stop to that right away!

"Sorry, to jump in here, Mister Wayne, but I know what all of you moonlight as." He ignored Bruce's narrowed, sharp glare. "You're Batman, Dick is Nightwing, Tim is Robin, meaning that Barbra has to be Batgirl and, if I'm right, Oracle."

"Who are you?" Bruce demanded. He didn't ask because asking is for people who aren't paranoid enough to have six levels of security at the front gate alone.

"I just told you: Danny." He unflinchingly met Bruce's glare. "Not good enough for you? I'm Danny, personal caretaker of vigilantes who refuse to take care of themselves, bookkeeper, cook, unlicensed medical unprofessional, et cetera. Though, don't call me a therapist because that's my sister. Is that a better answer?"

Bruce hummed.

The meal itself was somehow even worse than before Alfred had brought out the food. Glares were being thrown and concerned glances shared. It made the food taste bad, which was probably a war crime.

Danny had been raised with manners, so he'd thanked Alfred for making dinner. He even offered to help with clean up, though he backed down when he was refused. He knows better.

After dinner, the group had gone back into the very same drawing room as before. Dick and Barbra cuddled together on the couch, Bruce and Tim took the two armchairs, and Danny sat on the floor in front of the now lit fireplace.

"So, Tim," Danny started, "You working on any interesting cases?"

Tim seemed to perk up a bit. "Yeah, actually. It's a murder-"

"We're not at liberty to discuss anything with you, Daniel." Bruce's voice was gravely, almost the voice he used as Batman, as he spoke over Tim.

Danny's eyes narrowed. "I believe I told you my name is 'Danny', not 'Daniel'."

"Well, seeing as I don't actually know you, and you have offered up no sir name, I'll stick with calling you whatever I'm comfortable with, especially in my own home."

"This isn't a fight you wanna pick, Mister Wayne. You might want to rethink your choice."

"I am well aware of what battles to fight. However, you're mistaken. This isn't a battle. I'm merely stating that I will be calling you 'Daniel' until you offer up your sir name to be called by."

Danny very obviously looked Bruce up and down. "I guess my parents were right; You can't ever believe everything you read on the internet."

"Oh? Why do you say that?"

"Because you, Mister Wayne, are horrible with children."

The temperature in the room dropped. Bruce's glare hardened even more. He appraised Danny, assessing him and filing away everything he could find. "Speaking to me like that in my own home is quite the move."

"Are you threatening me, Mister Wayne?"

"Not at all," he denied. "What are you really doing here, Dick?"

"I wanted to come meet Tim," Dick lied.

"Don't lie to me."

"What, I can't even come meet your newest Robin?"

"After the way you treated Jason?"

Dick stood quickly, Barbra scrambling to her feet. "After the way I-! You're the one who let him put on my old uniform!"

Bruce stood to his full height, looking down on Dick. "Me? You barely even talked to him! I spent as much time as I could with him!"

Danny blocked out the already out of hand yelling match and grabbed Barbra's and Tim's hands, leading them out of the room. This was not how he was hoping this would go at all.

He could still hear the yelling, even in the foyer.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to Tim and Barbra, "I didn't expect this to happen."

"It's alright," Barbra said, flinching when she realized that she could hear both men's voices almost clearly.

"No, it's not. I dragged Dick here to apologize to Tim. We were supposed to leave before Bruce even left Wayne Enterprises."

Tim shook his head. "We should've anticipated something like this would happen."

"Yeah..."

The three sat together on the steps, Bruce and Dick's voices carrying through the wood and marble.

"Hey," Barbra said after a few minutes, "How do you know about the Cave being under the Manor?"

Danny blinked at her before turning to Tim. "There's a cave under the Manor?!" He glared playfully at his friend. "You didn't tell me that your base of operations is a cave under Wayne Manor!"

"If it makes you feel any better," Tim offered, "Dick named it the Bat Cave."

"It's called the Bat Cave!?"

Part 12 Part 14

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 34

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, NSFW, MDNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings/labels: fluff, some light medical stuff, and some slightly possessive behaviors

wc: 3.1k

Chapter Selection

I got my license that week, and Jason promptly took me to a dealership to get my motorcycle. I didn't know much about bikes, so decided to just trust his opinions. We found one we both thought was perfect, he paid in cash and pushed the paperwork toward me.

“You want me to sign?” I tilted my head a bit.

“It's your bike, princess, it's going to be in your name.” He smiled softly. I chuckled softly, ignoring the tightly controlled expression on the salesman's face, and signed the paperwork.

I kissed his cheek, grinning, and the salesman passed us the keys. “Can we swing by Damian's school to pick him up?”

Jason chuckled, kissing my knuckles. “Anything baby girl wants~”

Jason bought a helmet for Damian while I texted Bruce, Alfred, and Damian to let them know the plan. During the ride to the school I felt so free; like everything was slotting into place. Jason led the way, and we parked out front as the last bell rang. 

Damian eventually approached, followed by a girl. I pulled my helmet off, smiling brightly. “Hey Damian! Who's your friend?”

He cleared his throat; “this is Emma. She wanted to see your bike.”

Emma grinned, stepping closer. She babbled off something about the bike, but it all flew over my head. Jason chuckled, answering her questions, and I offered Damian his helmet. He took it, smiling slightly.

Jason answered the girl's questions about the bikes, and Damian hopped on behind me. Emma eventually turned to Damian grinning; “see you tomorrow, Damian~”

He nodded once, gripping my waist. I chuckled softly; “it was very nice to meet you, Emma.”

She grinned, waving, and we drove off.

“So, she seems nice?” Jason's smirk was audible in our helmets.

“Tt. Shut up, Todd.” Damian growled softly.

I chuckled softly. “So, straight to the manor, or?”

He thought for a moment. “... Yes, Father will want me home. And Alfred was talking about your training, he'll want to speak to you before he starts on dinner.”

“Oh, alright then.” I smiled softly, gently squeezing his hand on my waist, and we flew down the streets toward Wayne Manor.

The gate swung open as we approached, and Jason led us to the garage. Duke grinned as he got out of a car. “Hey! You got your license then?”

Damian hopped down, and I took his helmet for him. “Yeah! Jason and I just left the dealership!”

We all headed inside, Alfred the cat immediately jumped up to rest on Damian's shoulders, and Jason and I headed for the kitchen to look for Alfred the human.

He smiled warmly when he saw us coming; “Ah, I'm glad you're here Miss. I had a proposition for you regarding your training.”

I grinned, leaning over the kitchen island. “Hey Alfred! What'cha got for me?”

“Well, we have nearly a month before the spring semester, and nothing in your educational background leads directly to medical school, so I was thinking we could do a … sort of a crash course?”

I nodded; “something to help get me up to speed?”

“Exactly. I was a field medic myself, back in the day, and I still have my old anatomy books. We could get some preliminary training in before your proper education starts.”

“I'd really appreciate that, thanks!”

He nodded, clearly pleased. “Excellent. I'll get you those books before you leave, and you can join me for lessons twice a week? I was thinking before your combat training on Thursdays, and at the same time on Tuesdays.”

“Sounds great! It really won't be too much of an imposition?”

“Not at all, my dear. Miss Barbara may also use some of the time to get you familiar with Bat-tech. I believe she gifted you a Wayne-phone?” I nodded. “She'll want to go over your access to the Oracle system with you.”

Jason wrapped his arms around my waist, gently squeezing. I rested a hand on his, squeezing back. His arms felt so tense around me, but I smiled reassuringly up at him. He sighed, resting his forehead against my shoulder. “Sounds good, thanks!”

Alfred nodded. “Wonderful. And you two are staying for dinner, aren't you?”

“I dunno, Al-” Jason started.

Alfred cut in, a knowing smile on his face; “I'm making pot roast.”

Jason froze, frowning a bit. “... Yeah?”

I chuckled, leaning back against him. “We've got nowhere to be, right Jay?”

“... Yeah, alright. … Thanks, Alfred.”

He nodded, chuckling softly. “Very good.”

My training with Alfred started that week. As promised, he gave me several books, as well as some medical journals. I read everything he gave me, and we started going over anatomy. 

Babs showed up during the next Bat training day, and gave me the rundown on the Oracle app. It was disguised as a news app, but once I logged in I was given access to view her system. I could track active Bats, send and receive messages, and even access the comms.

Babs took my phone and went back to the home page. “Now, if you get in any kind of trouble, click and hold the icon for three seconds, and…”

Dick and Tim both shouted; “turn it off!”

I jumped and laughed. “What was that???”

She giggled, releasing it and opening the app. “I sent a distress call through the system. Dick and Tim are in uniform, so they got the SOS. You turn it off by opening the app and clicking here.”

“... Does the SOS hurt them or something?”

“No, it's just annoying when you're so close!” Tim frowned, looking over at us; “it’s kinda like echolocation, so the closer we are to you the faster the pings come in.”

“... Why?”

“In case you're unable to respond to us after sending the distress call, for whatever reason.” Dick spoke in a carefully neutral tone. Jason growled softly at the idea, and Dick threw his hands up; “not that that's ever gonna happen. Just a little extra security.”

I nodded. “Makes sense. But what if someone takes the phone?”

Babs popped a piece of the phone case off and slipped an ear piece out of the case. “If you ever get called to pick up an injured Bat, or if you think you're being followed at any time, just pop this in and I'll be able to track you.”

I slid it into my ear, there was a soft beep, and a red plus in a black circle joined the Red Robin and Nightwing icons on the map. I put it back in the phone case and my symbol disappeared. Babs showed me all the icons, so I knew what everyone showed up as, and gave me a clear sheet of plexiglass with a metal bar at the top.

“Jason can install this on your bike later - if you're ever called to pick someone up, just turn it on. It will cover your plates so they can't be read, and when the cops try to scan them their system will tell them you're operating on behalf of the Bats. They won't stop you.”

“Not that you will ever have to do that. We will come to you. Right?” Jason raised an eyebrow.

Babs nodded; “yes, Jason. The plan is that they will go to her. But it's always better to be prepared for the plan to fall apart.”

I nodded, putting it with my gym bag. “Yeah, plans A through Y: you come to me. Plan Z: I pick you up.”

Jason nodded once. “... I still don't like this.”

“Would you like it more if we pretended it was impossible that I'll ever have to ask her to grab someone who passed out on the way to the clinic?” Babs sighed.

“Or that I wouldn't insist on going to get them anyway?” I raised an eyebrow, and Jay growled softly, pulling me close.

“... Just don't go out unarmed, and don't wander directly into a fight, ok? Our enemies don't abide by the Geneva Convention, they relish in attacking first responders.”

I grinned, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, and kissed him gently. “No fighting, promise.”

Jason nodded, kissing my forehead. “... I wanna get you licensed to carry a gun too. … Just in case.”

I sighed softly, but nodded. “If it'll make you more comfortable.”

“It will.”

“... You have got to be kidding me.” Jason growled into his phone. I looked over, frowning a bit. “... Fuck. … Fine. Yeah, yeah, I will. … Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

He hung up, tossing his phone aside, and rubbed his face. I raised an eyebrow; “... What?”

He looked over at me slowly. “... That was Roy. … He's got a lead on some unfinished business.”

I nodded. “You sound more upset about this than I'd expect?”

“... I'm probably gonna be out of town all week.”

I nodded, frowning a bit. “That sucks … will you be home in time for the Christmas Gala? Cause I'm not going alone, and Bruce was insistent that we go…’’

“... Last time I left town, I came back to see some jackass trying to hurt you …” he whispered, staring up at me.

I turned the stove off, moving my pan off the heat, and came over to sit next to him. “That was a fluke. I don't have that job anymore, I won't be out alone at night, and I've got the Oracle app if something does go wrong.”

He sighed, gripping my hand. “I … I know … but it did happen. … If I had been two minutes later …’’

I cupped his cheek, making him look in my eyes; “we're not gonna go down that road. You saved me, and since then I've been trained to defend myself better, and I have more resources for if something does happen. You can't be with me every minute of every day, baby. You're not supposed to be; you've gotta live your life too.”

He squeezed my hands, leaning in to kiss me gently. “... I still don't like it … if something happens, I won't be able to help.”

“... Yeah, but do you really think Dick or Tim will allow anyone to hurt me while you're away?”

He frowned. “Huh?”

“I predict that when you leave town your brothers will start checking on me daily. Because if anything happens to me while you're away, they'll never hear the end of it. Will they?”

He stared at me for a moment before chuckling softly, holding me close. “Yeah, I guess not … but …”

“... But that doesn't silence the voice telling you it's not safe, does it?” He shook his head, pulling me closer. I was nearly in his lap, and I stroked his hair gently. “... Is there anything that will make you feel ok about this?”

“... I … maybe, but …”

“What is it?”

“... This is going to sound really bad …”

“That's fine. What can we do?”

“... Can I …. CanIputatrackeronyou?” He mumbled into my shoulder.

“... Baby, you speak so fast when you're anxious. A little slower?”

“... I … I want to put a tracker on you…”

I chuckled softly, holding up my phone. “Oracle already did?”

He looked up at me, unamused, and in an instant he ripped the phone out of my hand, tossing it across the room. “And now you don't have it anymore. See how easy that was? You didn't have time to trigger the SOS, or grab the ear piece. It's just gone.”

I blinked a bit at the dark look in his eyes, stroking down his chest gently. “O- ok, I see your point. … Deep breath, Jay. It's ok.”

He sighed, shutting his eyes tightly as he pressed his face against my shoulder again. “Sorry, I … sorry. … I just … can't lose you, ma.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing the top of his head. “It's ok, baby~ … what kind of tracker are we talking about here?”

“... Something no one will think to take off you. … Like … earrings, maybe? Simple ones, nothing flashy that'd get stolen.”

I nodded. “Like basic studs? Ok. Just as something I can wear while you're away?”

“J- just so I know you're safe … not to be weird, promise, just … gotta know you're safe.”

“Ok, Jace. I'll wear it.”

He looked up at me slowly. “Really? … It's not creepy?”

“If you were literally anyone else it probably would be, but I get why you want it, and I trust you. If it will give you peace of mind, I'll wear a tracker while you're out of town on missions.”

He hugged me tighter, almost knocking the air out of my lungs as he muttered his thanks. I chuckled, stroking his hair gently. “... Don't know where you're gonna get tracker earrings at this time of night, but …’’

“I've got some at a safehouse. I can pick them up tonight.”

“... Why am I not surprised?”

Beep. Beep. Beep. My eyes opened slowly and I looked over at my phone. The green Oracle mask was flashing on the screen as I grabbed it. I tapped on the icon, grabbing my pants.

“Oracle? What's going on?”

“Hey Medic, can you get to the cave? Red Hood has been shot. He's stable, but-”

“Refusing medical care?” I was pulling clothes on, grabbing my wallet and keys.

“Yeah. Penny-One said it would be a good opportunity to teach you how to administer stitches.”

“I'll be there as fast as I can. … What kind of 'shot' are we talking about here?”

“Arm wound. He's ok, just needs the stitches. I'm clearing your route to the cave.”

I grinned, stepping into my boots. “You're amazing, Oracle.”

I locked my door and ran down to the parking lot. I clicked a button on the plexiglass license plate cover, secured my helmet, and took off. As promised, I had green lights all through the city. I drove as fast as I felt was safe, or safe enough, and made it to the cave in record time. Red Hood was sitting at the long table, with Arsenal and Nightwing leaning over him.

Batman looked over as I parked and threw myself off my bike, running over to Jason.

“Move.” Roy jumped a bit as I pushed into him, awkwardly stumbling out of the way.

“Jesus, girly, breath. Jay's alright.” He offered me an encouraging smile, but I just waved him off.

“Jason?” I carefully took his hand, examining the wound. His upper arm was a mess of wet red, but he still smiled brightly for me.

“Hey princess~ I'm ok, it was a clean shot. Just grazed me, promise.”

“He lost a lot of blood. Almost passed out on the way back into town.” Dick helpfully piped up; “Roy called me in to get him back to base.”

Jason growled at him; “just need a couple stitches. It’s fine.”

Alfred shooed the boys away, setting a first aid kit on the table. I sighed, kissing Jason's forehead, and stroked his hair gently. “You are an idiot, you know that?”

He chuckled, leaning against my hand. “Yes dear~”

Alfred and I got Jason cleaned up. He gave me a tube of medicated gel to spread around the wound - a local anesthetic. After giving it a few minutes to start working, the Brit walked me through the process to give Jason stitches. He smiled the whole time, mumbling how well I was doing. I flushed, quietly shushing him periodically.

“Let me focus…”

“Sure, sure …” he sighed, watching me work.

When I was finally done, Alfred and I bandaged his arm. I kissed the top of his shoulder, smiling gently, and stroked his hair. “How do you feel?”

“Just fine, baby. You did good.” He gently squeezed my hand.

I chuckled. “I'm glad. Think we can get you up to your room?”

“Let's just go home, baby.” He frowned a bit.

“I want you here overnight, in case any of your stitches pop or unravel or something.”

“They're not gonna-”

“Please, Jay? Just in case?” I frowned, chewing on my lip. He sighed and nodded.

“Ok, doll. Anything you want …” I kissed his forehead and coaxed him to his feet. He let me guide him to the elevator, upstairs, and to his room where he carefully sat on his bed. I helped him out of his shirt and Alfred brought us a couple sets of pajamas.

“Thanks Alfred.” I smiled brightly.

He nodded, smiling a little. “You did very well down there, Miss. Congratulations.”

“Oh … thank you.” I grinned. “I’m just glad he's ok…”

He nodded, “ah, I believe young Master Damian was hoping to see you before bed as well.”

I smiled brightly. “I'll go say hi when Jason's settled. He's just in his room?” Alfred nodded. “Great. Thanks.”

“Sleep well, Miss.” He continued down the hallway, and I turned to give Jason his pj's.

Jay smiled softly, looking up at me. “... I missed you, doll.”

I chuckled, kissing him gently. “Missed you too, Jay~”

He cupped my cheek; “... Go ahead and check on the demon brat. I'll be fine.”

“Ok, thanks baby.” I kissed him again and pulled on my pj's before going to knock on Damian's door.

“Enter.” His voice called out softly. I opened the door, slipping inside. His bedside lamp was on, and he sat up more in his large bed, setting aside his book. “Good evening, sister.”

I smiled softly, sitting on the side of his bed; “good evening, baby brother~” I held a hand out, and he slowly leaned in, letting me push some hair out of his face. “getting ready for bed?”

He nodded, smiling softly as his eyes fluttered shut. “It is a school night …”

“You want me to sing to you?” He nodded again, shifting to lay back.

Damian got comfortable, letting me tuck him in as I sang softly. Once his soft snores filled the room I kissed his forehead, turned the lamp off, and left the room. In the hall I almost ran straight into a tall, looming figure.

“Oh! Sorry, Bruce.”

He stared at me, a sad look in his eyes. “... It's alright. … Damian asked for you?”

I nodded. “Yeah?”

“... That's … nice.”

“... Something wrong?”

“... I sang for him, that time. … He never asked again…”

“Ok?”

“... He still asks for you though.”

“... It's what our relationship has been the whole time. Your relationship is different, that’s allowed. It's good, actually, for him to have different relationships with different people.”

“... I just … I hoped he'd ask again.”

I shrugged. “I understand, but ... You have your things with him, and I have mine. But if you want to spend more time with your children, there's a really easy way to start.”

He sighed. “What's that?”

“Ask.”

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

fanart in the header by: @crowkip

Taglist (open):

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants @arisa191 @prized-jules @phoenix666stuff @dinonuggysandhuggus @anuttellaa @whore-of-many-hot-men @cottage-worm @v1ckycheesue @roastyyytoastyyy @sarakmec @thestarcatcher7297 @stupidlyunhinged @mishkapi @mermaidgirl-11 @bunniboo0015 @bibibusinessman @iimichie

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Hi, would you write about a self conscious reader who is going through a crisis with accepting herself and reveals that to jason todd in an emotional state like the dramatic “i hate myself” thing. Kinda having a moment like that myself and i need to read something that i can identify with

Your door was shut when Jason got there. He could feel the emotional angst leaking through the door. It slid over him like ooze. Over his skin and down his throat.

But he forced himself to breathe. Like last night. If he focused, he could find the edges of what he was feeling and push your influence back. You weren't focused on him.

He exhaled slowly and knocked, waiting. "Y/N? It's Jason" No one was in the hall but somehow it felt like everyone was in the hall. The trouble with living in a house of nosey bitches.

A solenoid disengaged and he pushed the handle. Letting himself inside, leaving the door cracked. Mostly so you didn't feel trapped.

As soon as he stepped into the room, the atmosphere was crushing. Oppressive. A sensation of being cold and humid. Self hatred, grief, and shame. And he can feel you trying desperately to pull those feelings under the surface. Wrestle them into submission.

Sweat prickling on your forehead from the effort.

"You should probably go," you manage.

Jason winces and takes a deep breath, forcing himself into a state of calm. Remembering how he deals with scared little kids and abuse victims. "What can I do?" he asked softly, moving closer. Below you, out your window you're watching everyone else. In the sun and playing outside. Shaking off the night-terrors you'd given them and the stress of patrol with water guns and slips and slides- a home made water park around the pool. Christ. It's no wonder you hate yourself.

"I'm fine. I just. I just-" Your voice is rough with unshed tears and when you break off, resting your head against the glass, Jason smiles a little.

"Fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional," he chuckled. "We've all been there. You're just a little more obvious about it."

You make a soft miserable noise and he shakes his head, "No one wants you to stay away, "he murmured, changing tack. "Bruce gives us nightmares all the time. Ask Dick about his party hard days some time. His nudes got "leaked" once as a distraction when I was a kid and all the girls had them. It was gross."

When you huff a soft laugh, he nods towards your book shelf, "Not a lot of heavy lifting going on there," he teased, referencing the romances and young adult novels- a fair number of children's classics he noticed.

"I like happy endings," you murmur. "I don't- I just get overwhelmed. I get tired of being a monster."

Jason nodded. He didn't want to tease you for your books anymore. "You're not a monster, Y/N," he whispered. He'd spent a lot of time watching you. You offered kindness in a hundred different ways. Doing little things to help Alfred. Taking odd shifts for Barbara. Refilling Tim's water. Stocking gear. Taking time to just chill with Cass... he'd probably missed a lot of details. But a monster wouldn't do that.

"I feel like one. All the time. I feel like I'd be better off dead. Like if they would have been too late-"

"If they would have been too late, it would have been for nothing," Jason said, wiping tears off your cheeks tenderly as he knelt to cradle your face in his hands. "Those bastards that hurt you are monsters. You were a baby."

You don't meet his eyes but he can feel pain. A deep fissure that never healed. Like a wound that needed packed and never got it. Rotting and festering this whole time. Inflamed and ready to send you recoiling at the lightest touch. "Got a favorite happy ending?" he asked. "I'll read it to you if you want-"

"Aren't you an Austen snob?"

"Please. As if I could get away without reading at least a couple of Alfred's trashy Romance novels. Some of them are charming... a couple are even pretty decent writing. As long as they don't spend too much time describing the dude's cock."

[issdisgrace]

I'd love to request, jason x male reader, who has a prosthetic arm and leg, you can decide. And the reader meeting the Wayne family for the first time, and Bruce being a bit judgy. Maybe Bruce even asking Jason in Private if he's sure the reader is the right person

I hope you're comfortable writing this :)

YOU SURE ABOUT THIS

WARNINGS: None unless you count swearing.

A/N: Y/n just has a prosthetic arm. Also when i was writing i wrote this with Bucky Barnes in my mind.

I look over at Y/n as I park in front of the manor.

“Are you sure about this? We can go home and order takeout.”

“I can do this, Jason. I need to, they are your family.”

“You don’t need to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with.”

“If I didn’t step out of my comfort zone, then I wouldn’t be here with you right now. So let’s get this show on the road.”

“Ok and remember we can leave at anytime.”

“I’ll be fine Jason and stop worrying so much, it will give you wrinkles.” Y/n days before giving me a quick kiss on the lips before getting out of the car. I sigh to myself before getting out as well. He’s right. He’s always right. Can’t he ever be wrong? I reach out for his hand and gently lead him up the steps of the manor. As I got to knock on the door, it opens and revealing Alfred.

“Master Jason and you must be Master Y/n pleasure to meet you. I’m Alfred Pennyworth, the butler. Please do come in.” Alfred says, stepping to the side to let us in. Walking in the warmth of the manor is comforting, like always, especially on cooler evenings like this.

“Pleasure to meet you to Alfred. I’ve heard a lot about you from Jason.” 

“All good, I hope,” Alfred says as he closes the door.

“Very much. I heard that you are an excellent cook.”

“And baker. He makes a mean snickerdoodle.” I add.

“You always know how to falter me, Master Jason. Anyway, your father and brothers are in the living room. I must get back to the kitchen to make sure nothing burned.”

“Alright, thanks Alfred.” I watch as Alfred walks down the hall and when he’s out of earshot, I ask.

“You good.” Y/n grabs my face with his hands.

“I’m good Jason.” He says before giving me a kiss.

“Ok.” I say as I pull away.

“Now, how about you introduce me to your family?”

“Alright, it’s just this way.” I say as I start to lead him towards the livingroom. I notice the way he looks around. It’s in admiration.

“This place is very beautiful.”

“I guess.” I say, leading them into the livingroom.

“Jason, my son. It’s good to see you,” Bruce says, getting up from his armchair.

“Good to see you too, old man. This is Y/n, Y/n this is Bruce.”

“Nice to meet you, Bruce.” Y/n says, reaching out to shake his hand. Bruce shakes his hand and I can see the way his eyes flicker to Y/n’s prosthetic arm. We take a seat on the empty couch and I silently pray to the gods he doesn’t say anything as my brothers introduce themselves. Of course, the last one is Tim.

“Tim and that a nice piece of metal you got there.” I try to contain myself, feeling the urge to strangle him.

“Yeah, a friend of mine made it for me shortly after I lost my arm. And I’ve been rocking with it sense then.”

“Cool, does it function?”

“It does see,” Y/n says, showing how the arm and hand can move around.

“Thats neat. How do that?”

“I have a plate built into my shoulder that my arm attaches too and that is hooked up to my brain and that’s how I control it.”

“Damn that pretty high tech.” Tim says.

“It is, Drake. May I ask how you lost your arm?” Damian asks surprisingly kindly. Hmm, that is weird. I look over at Y/n and take his hand, giving him a gently squeeze. 

“I lost it during my time as a P.O.W..”

“Thank you for your service.” Dick is quick to say with a smile. I sigh to myself, finally relaxing, Its was nice to see Dick

being Dick. I just hope short stack and Bruce don’t say anything insensitive. 

“It was my honor to serve.” Y/n days.

This whole thing definitely went better than I suspected. I smile to myself as watch as Dick practically pulls Y/n out of the dining room behind him, wanting to show him around the manor. Tim and Damian following behind them. As I go to join them, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I brush the hand off and turn around to look at Bruce. 

“I know this isn’t my place, but are you sure about them? Are you sure they’re the one?” He asks. When he asks that I see fucking red.

“Why? You think they're damaged goods because they lost one of their arms. Well listen here, old man, I love them and I will marry them one day. So keep your shit opinion to yourself and go fuck yourself.” I say making sure my anger was on full display. I then turn around and leave the dining room to go find where my brothers dragged my boyfriend off to.

EXTRA:

“Master Bruce, that was very out of line of you.”

“I just want to make sure he’s making the right decision.”

“He is an adult. He can make his own decisions and, remember don’t judge a book by its cover, Master Bruce. I raised you better.”

[blog-moved-lol]

Damian Wayne Appreciation Post??

To be honest, I don't really understand why some people dislike Damian so much? To be fair, the only comic I've read about him is Batman: Son of Batman, but from that one alone, I just don't get it. I mean I read on the wiki that he was pretty hard on Dick when Dick was acting as Batman, but I haven't read that myself (Also it makes sense, he was grieving the supposed death of his father, of course he wouldn't take kindly to Dick pretending to be Bruce/Batman)

But really, it seems like Damian(in this comic at least), just wants to make his parents proud and be useful.

And yeah, he beheaded the Spook and beat up Tim(/not as badly Alfred), but like he says, it's how he was taught!

He did what he did, because in the League of Assassins you fought to move up the ranks. He beat up Tim, because if Tim was a League member, this would've been common practice. Him beating up his 'rival' member, to take their higher rank. But even after beating Tim up, he makes it obvious that he just wants to be of use to Bruce. This is also why he killed the Spook, because in the League there was certainly not a 'no kill' rule, and in his mind, killing the Spook means the Spook can't hurt anyone else.

And yeah, if I was Damian and I was being almost killed in training sessions and then being hooked up to weird machines and rejuvenated with what is probably water from the Lazarus Pit (I mean, it's glowing green water so that's what I assume), which supposedly messes with people's minds and the rates in which they heal/age, I'd probably act the same way.

At the end of the day, he's still somewhat of a normal kid. Here's him asking his mom to look at the cool thing he's doing, like a kid wanting their mom to look at a drawing they made:

And here's him just wanting to live a life with both Bruce and Talia as a family, not wanting to choose, sort of like your average kid with 'divorced' parents:

All in all, yeah, Damian has flaws. All good characters do! But I don't think that warrants people to hate him, though. But, at the end of the day, everybody has their own opinions so it's okay if you don't like him, these are just my thoughts!

[numberonedukethomasapologist]

[BATFAM AS THINGS ME AND MY FRIENDS/FAMILY HAVE SAID TODAY]

Steph: if I threw it would you catch it?

Duke: no-

Steph: oh.. ok😔

Tim: what would kill a founding father?

Alfred: a lick of slapyamama would kill John Adams

Dick: *sitting on the desk with legs to the side*

Damian: get off the desk you look more like a fag than you already are

Jason: what if I run through the store and yell "THE BRITISH ARE COMING"

Bruce: I'd send you back to your real mama

Cass: you leave ne by myself again I'm gonna roll you off the sidewalk

Barbara: I'd just do a handstand

[theamityelf]

Okay, I'm trying to familiarize myself with Batfam stuff, because I lowkey think they'd be fun to write for. (Never seen any of the animated series or read any Batman comic with Robin in it.)

What I have so far:

Bruce Wayne. Obviously. That's a Batman. Parents killed in an alley outside a theater, he maybe trained with some assassins (and Talia al Ghul is a character who's related to that somehow I think; she might be an assassin), and he's Batman. I know who Batman is. He doesn't kill; that's his rule.

Alfred. Butler. Secretly really good at weapons? Just generally hypercompetent and would probably be killing people if not for Bruce.

There's a bunch of Robins, which I will list. It seems like a lot of them have straight black hair and blue eyes; if true, it's wild that they didn't vary that more. I hope the fandom does something else, lol.

Dick Grayson first. He's the circus one who got adopted when his parents died. He's good at flips and stuff because circus. Not sure the specifics of his parents' death, but I suppose it triggered Bruce? And so Bruce was like, "I gotta adopt this kid." And he later became Robin. And then he did Teen Titans (which I haven't seen, but one of my college roommates watched Teen Titans Go a lot) and dated Starfire. I think he's the one whose costume is sometimes blue? But I'm not sure. Personality-wise, I think maybe he's generally positive and responsible. This is the first Robin, so he's probably got standard Robin characteristics and grew up with the standard amount of superhero angst. Not too much, not too little. I feel like I'd like Dick Grayson if I knew the character well. Oh! He's also called Nightwing, right?

Jason Todd next. He's, like...a street orphan? And I think he's the one with the white in his hair. He got killed by Joker with a crowbar and then came back angry because Batman didn't kill Joker. And I feel like things remained tense with him after that in canon but fan works have them resolve things, but like I said, I have not consumed any of his canon. I'm just going on vibes. Personality-wise, I'm thinking rougher-edged than Dick. Um, Red Hood, right?

Tim Drake is next. I genuinely don't know if and when he was adopted, because I'm pretty sure everything I've consumed about him was just like, "No, he has parents. But he figured out that Bruce Wayne is Batman, so he gets to be Robin." But I also think he lives with them? I think he's more upbeat than Jason; he fully opted into all of this.

Wait, Barbara Gordon is somewhere in there, right? Probably before Tim. I don't know what she's really doing, but she's Jim Gordon's daughter and I think she becomes Batgirl. Does she get killed by Joker? Jim Gordon is like, Batman's favorite police guy. He's the one who's always lighting the bat signal.

Full disclosure, I know Stephanie Brown is someone, but I have no idea who she is or what she's doing or when she comes into play, and iirc I think I saw a Tiktok that implied she straight up lives somewhere else. I guess Barbara probably does, too. And I guess Dick probably moved out to do Teen Titans, although it would be very funny if he didn't. I'm sure a lot of fan works just have them all live together; if the Marvel fandom could put everyone in Stark Tower, the DC fandom can move everyone into Wayne Manor.

I know that Cassandra Cain is deaf, and I think she's a street orphan, too? And I feel like there was some connection between her and the kid from the Birds of Prey movie. Maybe same character; I feel like I remember reading criticism about her not being deaf in the movie. I also don't know when she comes into play, but I'm pretty sure she's one of the straightforwardly adopted ones. But I'm just guessing that because I'm not aware of any reason for her not to be.

Duke Thomas is the black one, and I think he was kind of on the Tim Drake track of figuring out the Batman stuff. I don't know how he came into play either. I think he's called Signal? Does he have an electricity thing, or am I mistaking him for a different character? There are a lot of black superheroes with electricity powers. Personality-wise, I think he's just generally cool and good-natured, but I'm not sure whether that's an actual canon thing, or if I've just consumed content that misrepresents his whole deal. Whatever the case, I'd probably love him if I knew more about him. I feel like I'll like all of these characters.

Damian Wayne, biological son of Bruce and Talia. (Though, if I'm mistaken about that, then that's really funny.) He's, like, an analyst type, which means we've got a lot of characters who are specifically characterized as analytical. (I hope knowing more about them will make it easier to vary the kind of intelligence. I want them to have different specific strengths and weaknesses. They probably do.) And I think he might have also been trained by the assassins, but I'm not sure. Personality-wise, I'm pretty sure he's distinctly creepy. Like, I think he's the creepy genius child trope, and all serious and formal. I like that trope.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

hallo! Could I request Comfort prompt 11 for Bruce Wayne? Your writing always makes me smile.(except when it supposed to make me sad, but I like that too)

Thank you!! Posted from mobile, so sorry for any mistakes!

Warnings: None; this is pure fluff

The office was empty and quiet, and had been for a while. You waved your hand periodically to trigger the motion sensor of the fluorescent lights when they winked out on you. It was late, and you had already been there far longer than you meant to be. You sighed, weary, leaning back against your desk and propping your chin up on your hand. Your eyes were beginning to cross; you felt like you'd read the presentation slides a hundred times, but they didn't feel finished.

You groaned as the lights winked off again, but before you could move, they suddenly flickered back to life. You frowned, and then--

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

You screeched at the sound of Bruce's voice, whirling around in your office chair. He bit the inside of his cheek and raised a penitent hand, clearly fighting the urge to laugh. You huffed in annoyance, pressing your palm over your pounding heart as you settled back down in your chair.

"Don't...Do that."

"I'm sorry," Bruce apologized, walking closer.

"And I know exactly what time it is, thank you."

"What's got you here so late?"

"Proofing the slides for tomorrow."

"Still?"

"I don't think they're ready."

Bruce sighed softly, pulling a chair from another desk up beside yours.

"Here. I'll trade you."

Your brow furrowed in confusion before you broke into a smile at the sight of a bag of takeout.

"Oh, Brucey," You cooed, "You do like me."

He snorted, reaching out and picking up the laptop.

"I'll give these a look while you eat."

You leaned over, pecking his cheek before opening the bag--the hot aluminum dish, wrapped hunk of bread, and a smaller dish with a side salad. Your stomach growled as the scent filled your nose. You popped open the lid, stabbing your little plastic fork into the piping hot baked ziti. You pushed it around a little to let the heat out before glancing guardedly toward Bruce. He had a solid poker face: eyes darting from side to side as he read, brow drawn slightly, lips pursed...Until they moved:

"...Stop staring and eat your dinner."

"I can eat and stare."

"You can, but you aren't."

"The pasta's hot. I'm letting it cool."

Bruce cut you an unimpressed glance, but his lips twitched with a smile.

"Anything?" You asked, nodding toward the laptop.

"I've had time to read one slide. One."

"And?"

"It was perfect." He nodded toward the dish again. "Eat."

You took an obliging bite, groaning softly at the taste.

"There's water in the bag, too."

"I freaking love you," You mumbled around the mouthful, fishing into the plastic bag for the cold bottle. Bruce huffed a soft laugh through his nose, murmuring, "Love you, too, honey."

"How'd you know I'd still be here?"

"Lucky guess. You get singleminded when you're worried about work."

"I think singleminded is a bit strong."

"You're in the office at 11:30 on a Tuesday night, proofing slides that I'm positive are perfect. That is the definition of singleminded."

"I'm committed to my job, I like my job."

"I'm not knocking it, honey," Bruce soothed, smoothing his hand over your knee. "I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself as well as you take care of your work."

"Mm, but if I take care of myself, what'll you do all day?"

Bruce laughed, raising his hand and gently tweaking your nose.

"I'd have time to learn to play polo."

"You want to play polo?"

"Alfred suggested it." He chucked you gently under the chin before beginning to turn back to your laptop.

You leaned in before he could get too far, pecking his lips gently. Bruce smiled, chasing your lips for one more kiss before refocusing. You watched the mask of concentration fall over his face again, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Eat."

"You're so cute when you concentrate."

"I am not cute."

"Bruce Wayne is a cutie patootie."

"If you call me cute one more time, I will put typos in these slides."

[brucewaynehater101]

every family has a secret stoner and i absolutely need your opinion on who you think the stoner of the batfam is, like,,,,,, who’s sneaking away at thanksgiving to light up?? do they smoke together?? is it an open secret or does nobody know about them smoking??

I just... I need a sec. Y'all's family hides that shit? I kid ya not, my mom's offered me gummies, one of my siblings has a weed desk, and my father swore he'd constantly be smoking as soon as he retires. My other siblings' partner did weed a lot too.

I don't really like weed for myself (the lack of control freaks me out and I've had a few bad trips), but at least one of my siblings very openly uses weed often lmao.

I got off track. Whoops. Anyways, Dick. Dick 100% does weed. It helps with his anxiety and anger (also Discowing).

When Dick "sneaks out" to smoke, some of the others join him. Jason is always there regardless if he's taking a hit, smoking a cigarette, or just taking a moment away from Bruce (Bruce is rarely welcome during these moments. It's more of a sibling thing).

Steph probably bakes brownies and has a weed stash in Tim's room. She'll occasionally join them, but not always. She's usually hanging around Cass, Duke, Tim, or Damian.

Now... I adore the stoner Tim au. It's hilarious and great. For this post, there's two options for Tim.

If he's a stoner, then Dick didn't find out until a hilariously late time. Dick is reasonably upset that he found out so late when it's another way for Tim and him to bond.

If he's not, I'd hc him to be closer to how I feel about it. He's chill with other who do it, but doesn't like the way it fucks with his control, awareness, and ability to think. Instead, he'd rather drink alcohol.

Hmm... I'm curious how weed, alcohol, or substances would interact with Cass's ability to read body language. If it makes it harder or lessens the amount of signals she perceives, this could either freak her out or give her brain a break.

Funny answer for Cass is that she does a *shit* ton of weed and somehow manages to hide it from everyone but those she's told (maybe Steph and Tim?)

I need to learn more about Duke. Until I know otherwise, let's say that he occasionally does it for fun with friends or a batfam member, but usually refrains.

Damian is a kid. Maybe when he's older, he takes a night off every month or so to decompress with the help of weed.

Alfred does weed too. How the fuck else is he supposed to deal with all the stress of the Bats? He'll go out to "tend the garden" which is code for "leave him the fuck alone so he can de-stress and smoke."

Bruce might every once in a while, but he stopped heavy usage when he put on the cowl.

The whole batfam knows and is chill with weed. The substance they do hide, however, is alcohol. Some members have trauma and shit with alcohol. This means the others try not to consume alcohol around those members and obscure their alcohol consumption in general. Whether those with alcohol trauma consume alcohol as well, the others still refrain in front of them.

I can't believe I forgot Barbara! She probably does weed to help with her pain

[junespriince]

you know what fuck you! *Yuri your birdflash* au

Wally: Linda! Hartley! Guys I need help!

Linda: what's wrong?

Hartley: is Chris still bothering you? God, he can't take no for an answer!

Wally: not him, those he did try to sit with me in lecture today, but that's besides the point just, ugh just come with me to my apartment!

Kyle, Conner, Hartley, Linda, Ace, and Bart sitting in her living room.

Wally: so Birdie just asked me out on a date—

Kyle: about fucking time.

Wally: shut up Kyle, and listen!

Wally, huffs: anyways, she asked me out on a date, and I don't know what to wear, she said we're going to a thrift store, and then a botanical garden exhibit, and then a dinner at this way to fancy restaurant and I don't want to make more of a fool of myself then I already have, I mean what if I dress to fancy I'll stick out, but if I dress to lower she'll hate me and I'll never see her again and like this was a dream come true she asked me out, if she hate me then we won't build a house together in the forest, adopt a turtle as our child, maybe have a dog too, and we won't wake up together or make bread together or anything! I need you guys to help me here!

Hartley: if she hates you for dressing comfortably then she ain't it then.

Wally: but she's everything! She's smart, beautiful, talented, her eyes are the most beautiful gems I ever seen, her dimples are so cute, and she takes up half my future planning I can't mess this up, please just help a girl out over here! *Staring to tear up*

Kyle: okay, okay we get it! We'll help, stop crying!

Bart: must be real desperate bringing all of us in here to help.

Wally: very! Kori off planet or I'd call her too.

Ace: okay sis, bring out the outfits you have in mind.

Linda: and the shoes! Oh let me get my makeup bag as well, I'll be right back!

Conner: I'll make some tea and look through your hair products, I'm thinking hair down, help shape those curls out, and maybe a cute hair accessory.

Kyle: can I go cunty?

Wally: no! This is the first date! I need to be cute, but rememberable.

Hartley: let me see your closet, when the date?

Wally: in seven hours.

Hartley: a little bit of a challenge but doable.

Bart: I'll make snacks, and I'll have Kon spy on her so we can match her levels!

Wally, about to cry again: oh my god thank you, thank you, thank you!

7 hours later and at Bludhaven's cafe, lesbian owned

Rania ((Urania ))(Dick*), dressed in a cute and nice little blazer moment, in deep green, dress shirt unbuttoned at the top, Sharp but not too sharp makeup, short hair slicked back a bit, tented glasses rest at the edge of her nose and they're red hearts: My little Willow tree, you are right on time, excited for our date to be late? *Soft chuckle, dimples showing*

Wally, long waterfall curls with a cute strawberry headband, that iconic strawberry midi dress, very little makeup Bec we don't cover freckles in this house hold, nervous: very, I-I,,, I didn't want to keep you waiting is all, rainy.

Rania, calm and collective: no worries, *offers arm* let's go, have a busy night ahead of us.

Wally, blushing taking her arm: y-yeah.

Rania, hours before

Rania, holding her brothers, sister, Steph, Barbara, Donna, her dad, the butler, Roy, and Kori hostage in her room: if I don't look stunning for that pretty girl, I will die! I need suggestions and support people!

Jason: why would we want to help you?

Rania: because if I don't impress her, I'm destroying all your books.

Jason:

Jason: I'll get the makeup.

Roy: girl, I don't know how to dress myself the hell you think I can help you here?

Rania: then support me!

Bruce, on the phone: calling Diana, Selena, and Talia as we speak sweetheart.

Alfred: I'll get the outfit Miss Urania.

Rania: thanks, I just,,, I have to make a good impression on her! My future hangs in the balance with her!

Barbara: getting the gel, Damian get Jon to spy on Willow we need these two to match, sapphics love a good match.

Damian: got it. Do you want some tea Urania?

Rania: yes, please, thanks Dami, you're a good kid, and I love you so much, you know that?

Damian, prideful about the praise: of course I do.

Tim: kiss ass

Damian: hate not being the favorite, I see.

Kori: oh, oh, I want to pick out the shoes! Maybe favorite are in your closet right?

Rania: the Church's Burwood Oxford in black or the Church's Fairstead Oxford?

Kori: the first one.

Rania: uh, in the shoes closet, back right wall.

Kori: yay!

Donna: getting the accessories, you want the tinted pink shades or the red?

Rania: red heart ones.

Donna: gotcha.

Stephanie: let me see those outfits Al, I have a vision.

Damian: hope that vision includes strawberries, West is in a strawberry midi dress, whatever that is.

Stephanie: GASP, it does! I could kiss her! Get the green dress suit!

Cass: I'll get it!

Duke: how her make up Damian?

Damian: soft, they're leaving the freckles.

Rania, blushing: they're leaving the freckles,,,,, Dad, tell them to get here fast and call Harley and Ivy and auntie kate we need those two lesbian asap!

Bruce: got it!

Damian: some chamomile tea, and I have some lavender at the ready if you need it, Urania.

Rania: thank you dami, again *kiss his forehead*

Back on the date

Wally, in her head: wow she's so calm, and pretty, oh focus Wally, you don't need to trip!

Rania, in her mind: god she's so pretty, damn I can the wedding, no, no, focus on today damnit!

*but a Romani name I really like for her also I did use behind the name so if it's not right oops I did look into this

[generational-atrophy]

I'd love to see the main 8 in Hetalia coming home to their so passed out while reading a book. Extra points if the so is plus sized please! And btw your cat is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!!(I have 2 tuxedo kitties myself named Italy and Romano). Please and thank you!!!

(Main 7? x Reader) Coming home to their sleeping S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Scenarios ~ A/N omg!!! kitties!!! send pics sometime!!! Btw thank u for ur continued support i know youve been here for a while and i appreciate it :3 (ALSO I DIDNT DO CHINA IM SORRY ITS 1AM AUUUGH)

Trigger Warning: None, just Fluff!

As soon as you got home, Alfred could tell something was off. Although it wasn't every day that you would run to greet him, he could count on at least a loud “Hey!” from across his home. But when he set his bags down from work, he heard no such thing.

Immediately, he tried to recall the morning you had spent together. Unluckily for him, it was nothing but a blur. You had... been there. He remembered that for sure, but if you had said something about being busy, he couldn't recall.

But that must be what had happened. Maybe he should set his alarms earlier, he concluded. But as for now, surely you would return home soon. There was nothing he could do about it, so he might as well enjoy his time alone.

So, like a child, his immediate instinct was to tear off his stiff work clothes, now wearing nothing but his boxers and a t-shirt (If anyone saw him through the window, well, that's nothing but a gift to them,) And like that, he pranced around the home doing his daily routine. Putting away his newly acquired paperwork, washing the dishes before dinner, and putting his suit away in the closet. Or well, that is what he was going to do, before he opened the bedroom door to you, fast asleep.

You were splayed out across the bed, your book still clasped tightly even as your chubby chest rose and fell. He sighed to himself, smiling softly and looking at you like one would look at a long-lost lover.

Well, clearly you had had a tiring day. It would be rude of him to wake you up now, he thought. He would rather do so later, after he's made a dinner both of you would adore.

Arthur didn't like quiet houses. It always made him nervous. Probably paranoia left over from back in the days when you would have to constantly fear for your life. But that justification didn't help. His fear remained, which is why he was so excited to have you move in with him. With you, there would always be a faint, friendly presence. But today, when he returned home from work, he couldn't help feeling unnerved.

Although you weren't spontaneous by any means, it wasn't out of the ordinary for you to suddenly disappear, off to do god knows what. It wasn't a habit Arthur particularly enjoyed, but he loved you despite it. And because you loved him too, you would at least usually leave a text message. But he had received none.

Just to be sure, he pulled out his phone and checked again. Nothing.

Well, he was dismayed, to say the least. But you wouldn't be gone long, he knew that for sure. Now all he had to do... was wait.

So he wandered into the living room, setting his briefcase down by the door before he jumped back. His breath hitched in his throat as he suddenly saw you, laying on the couch.

Clutching a hand to his chest to catch his breath, he approached quickly. But then he noticed the soft, almost unnoticeable smile on your face... the one you always wore while resting in his home. Slowly, he crouched down beside you, caressing your cheek while you slept. How adorable.

He was a lucky man, he thought to himself. He was very fortunate to be able to come home to this sight.

It was an exhausting day, to say the least. First, he was late to work, then he had to actually do his work, and then on the way home, traffic was the worst he's seen in months. So when he stumbled into his apartment, all he wanted was to see your wonderful face... and also maybe a cup of tea.

Which, when he looked around the flat, he was almost greeted by. Through the windowed doors to his balcony, he merely saw the end of your legs, propped up on an old metal chair.

“Mon ange?” He calls out to you, walking towards the balcony with a smirk.

When you didn't respond, he asked again louder, “Y/N?”

For a moment, he felt dread creeping up his spine, before he rounded the corner to see you. Fast asleep, with your book laid against your chest as you snored.

He couldn't help but chuckle to himself. It seems you had the same idea he had. As slowly as possible, as to not wake you from your peaceful slumber, he pulled up a chair from inside right next to you. As he sat down, he kept looking over to you, a loving smile upon his face even as his eyes began to weigh more and more.

“Y/N, my love!” Ivan calls out as soon as he enters your shared home.

“Крошка? Where are you?“ He continues, as he begins wandering through the house in search of you. But as he entered more rooms, only to hear no response, his blood began to grow colder.

You had said you would be home when he got home, yet you were nowhere to be found yet. You rarely didn't respond to his calls either, so needless to say, your out-of-character behaviour was beginning to frighten him.

Had you lied? He searched the living room. Had there been an emergency? He searched the kitchen. Had you been taken? He searched the office. Had something horrible happened? He searched the bedroom- Oh.

As he burst into the bedroom, the door being moments from slamming into the wall, all his worries were eased. He grabbed the door to silence it before stepping forward and sitting on the edge of the bed. Before him, you were curled up tightly around your book, your breathing soft and rhythmic.

“Как драгоценный…” he whispered to himself before crawling next to you. As he looked upon your sleeping face, he felt his heart doing somersaults. Well, if you weren't conscious to protest, there was no reason he couldn't watch your lovely face until you awoke.

Feliciano was not a working man. He had realized that within his first 30 years of life, and the last 3,000 had only cemented it. All he wanted to do when he dragged himself home to you was curl up in your lap and cry his stresses away. So when you told him you would meet him at home after work, he was quick to rush home (breaking countless traffic laws in his wake,) to meet you.

But when he reached home, only to not immediately see or hear you, he couldn't help flopping flat onto the floor. Dust and dirt be damned. He was goddamn tired, and there he would lay until you came home to see him. Or well, that's what he thought, until before he heard your soft snores coming from the living room. Lucky, considering he was about to start snoring himself and drown you out.

Reluctantly, he peeled himself off the floor and stumbled over to the living room. There, you were out cold on his old couch, still holding the book you had been telling him all about just the day before.

Adorable, was his first thought. Seeing you all peaceful, your chubby body relaxed on his couch. You really trusted him and his home that much? Amazing.

But then he started feeling jealous. He wanted to take a nap too! How long had you been here, relaxing while he had been working? Well, working was a pretty big stretch, but still! You were so lucky. But it's his couch, and you're his partner, so he was going to cuddle up against you and nap too, regardless of whether he woke you up in the process or not.

When he had given you a key to his residence, Ludwig had really not expected you to use it as much as you had. But it seemed that every other day, he would return from whatever he had been doing to find you in his home, doing whatever. You had said something about even mundane things being more fun when you were with him. A sentiment he could understand at least a little, considering he wasn't one to complain about your presence. It comforted him just as much as it did you, even if he was afraid to admit it.

So when he returned home from the grocery store to find your shoes laid next to his, he wasn't surprised in the slightest. He just simply sighed and continued his day, quickly putting away his groceries.

“Y/N, how long have you been here?” He asks casually from the kitchen after he sees your figure laying on his couch. No response, but maybe you had your earbuds in. It's no matter.

But when he finishes his task and walks over, he instantly realizes you were asleep. It was the first time this had happened... and he really didn't know what to do.

He sat on the coffee table across from you, staring at you intensely as he was deep in thought. Would it be rude to wake you? Would it be weird to let you keep sleeping in his apartment? God, he really wishes he could call Feliciano right now... but no! He knows you better, and he'll figure this out by himself. Even... even if it takes him a few minutes of pacing to decide.

But after he's finished sweating, he lets you keep sleeping. You must've needed it, and he'd be remiss to take that away from you. Plus, you look cute when you sleep, but he'd never even admit that to himself.

Although Kiku was one of the most anxious people on planet Earth, he never worried when it came to you. That's part of why he liked you so much. It was never stressful, around you, everything came easily to him. So when you hadn't responded to his text telling you he was on his way home, he assumed the best. You were busy, and it meant nothing more than that.

When he arrived at your shared home, he didn't panic when he didn't hear you. He simply decided to go about his normal routine, not searching for you. You would let him know where you were soon, he knew it. But even if it didn't, it was alright.

But when he was bringing his laundry into his bedroom, he was a little shocked to find you laying on your shared bed, still holding your book tightly. Although his heart stopped for a moment, he quickly calmed down. He silently set the basket he was holding down, walking over to you and leaning over the bed. With a gentle touch on the shoulder, he woke you up.

“Silly, you fell asleep...” He teases softly as you start to open your eyes, “Wake up, let's go make dinner together.”

[captainlordauditor]

Anyway.

This is the dickbabs break up scene, from Nightwing #87, in its entirely.

Sections of particular note:

Dick: She [Tarantula] doesn't even know what secret identities are for. Babs: Do you? Dick: Excuse me? Babs: Well, you have been a little on the reckless side lately, don't you think? Dick: Did you just ask me if I know what secret identities are for? Babs: showboating at the PD, letting Dick Grayson and you-know-who run around with the same injured shoulder.... Dick: Did you just ask me if I know what secret identities are for? Babs: ....body-tackling armed maniacs in public restaurants...

And

Babs: I'm tired of this, Dick. I'm tired of fighting with you to let me take care of myself, I'm tired of your relentless energy, and I'm tired of always playing "Remember when". Babs: Oh, and I'm really tired of the way you always look surprised when your ex-and/or-potential-psycho-love-interests-in-costume plant a wet one on you. Dick: Barbara, please. What did I do? I haven't seen you this angry since back when your dad got shot and I came to give you the- Babs: Don't you dare? Not one word about the past! Are you even listening to me?

It sounds to me like while Catalina kissing Dick earlier in the issue (yes, without consent, we'll get to that) was the final straw, Babs has been thinking about this for longer- I'd say at least since last issue when she had to call Alfred to force him to stay still while recovering from getting shot. That was also the issue where Babs finds he goes stir crazy if he doesn't have ways to help, and tries to invent ways to help:

And here in #85, Babs' issue with Dick dwelling on the past comes up as well, as does his recklessness:

We can plant the roots of their communication issues much further, actually - here they are in #77, a full ten issues before the break up, having what's clearly part of (actually given the timing I think it's the start of) a long running argument about secret identities:

Now, this one I'll give leeway - Dick is late, he knows he's not going to win the argument, so he ignores her. But it IS worth noting that Babs doesn't feel she's being listened to on a pretty major subject that affects both their lives.

Also going to note this little exchange in #85:

Babs: Yeah, yeah, you love me. Heard it before, hunk wonder. Can I go back to sleep now? Dick: Actually, I was gonna say I crave your touch with every fiber of my being. Babs: [skeptical expression on her face]: You were gonna say that? Dick: I was. Babs: Even remembering that I can't walk and everything, right? I mean, you're not just daydreaming about the good ol' Batgirl days? Dick: Oh, but you were so hot with that big yellow bat on your chest....

This is, in my humble opinion, a really notable exchange. Babs is expressing a very private personal insecurity - she is skeptical at the idea that her partner can desire her sexually with her disability. This is a very realistic way for Babs to feel. The problem is that instead of reassuring her, Dick responds by making a joke, reminiscing about the past (in her mind, confirming the idea that he's in love with someone she can't be anymore), and signing off. Babs is generally pretty emotionally guarded, so it makes sense that Dick might be caught off guard and unsure how to respond when she does open up (especially considering who he was raised by...) but that doesn't mean she can't be upset by exchanges like this, especially given that Dick frequently brings up a past that is now painful for her to think about.

TL;DR: Tarantula kissing Dick might have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but I really don't think it was the only reason - probably not even the main reason - Babs broke up with him. Their relationship is messy and riddled with communication issues, and that's what makes it so interesting! But Babs has a right to decide she doesn't want to keep fighting for something that's not what she wants anymore.