#Alfred is talking with Thomas and Martha Wayne

[nelkcats]

Harley's bad bad day

When his parents excitedly talked about a family trip to Gotham, Danny was skeptical. Why would he want to vacation in New Jersey?

He ended up accepting. But he couldn't leave his duties as King unattended so he made some arrangements with Wulf and the other ghosts. They promised to behave in the best possible way. Danny didn't believe them but had no choice.

Without him realizing it, as soon as he set foot in Gotham the city got filled with ambient ectoplasm. Achieving that the shadows of the spirits could form correctly as ghosts in the city.

Many of the ghosts decided to seek an entrance to the Realms, maybe visit the King who was visiting their city. Others were furious at their deaths and wanted revenge. The Joker was number one on the list.

Harley was the second closest. Although she had parted ways with the Joker a long time ago, the ghosts didn't care that she had changed. She killed them, all her change wouldn't fix that.

The dead do not forget

When Harley woke up that day she didn't expect to find a knife stuck to the side of her face. She got up upset but the knife seemed to have fallen from the ceiling. She frowned, not remembering how it got there.

The more time passed, the more she suspected that something was up. Around midday she was convinced that someone was trying to kill her. So many accidents happened to her that it was ridiculous. The girl couldn't help but become paranoid and seek refuge with Bruce.

Batman wasn't one to accept or deny the existence of ghosts but he was sure Alfred wasn't talking to himself. When Harley told him what was going on with her he frowned.

Why was there paranormal activity in Gotham? And why was it after Harley? He grunted at the thought that he should call Constantine.

[bruciemilf]

So glad you clarified that "Alfred bleeding out at brucie's day party" was step 1 in becoming pennywaynes. I was just about to ask lol

Also thinking that Alfred doesn't say "fuck" because Thomas says it enough for both of them. And how they're both feral in opposite directions (loud and vulgar vs poised and eloquent) makes me wonder what direction Martha is feral in. Exceedingly painfully viciously polite? Barefoot in the dirt, she'd love poison ivy fae-tinged feral? Does this make sense? I'm sick. All I can think about is Thomas and Alfred preparing to carve someone up and you don't even know who you are supposed to be more scared of

I like to imagine Martha as Morticia Addams feral. Regal, majestic, peculiar, and could wipe the floor with your self-esteem in a minute if crossed. Bruce’s mama was a silent badass for sure.

I like to think Damian inherited her affection for animals! Hers pets were just more… Unique, let’s say.

Imagine you’re Alfred. You’ve been working at the Wayne manor for about two weeks now.

Thomas, your husband boss hands you a huge chunk of bloody meat hanging from a butcher hook, while yelling violently at a business partner on the phone.

“Al, go feed Bruce, will ya?”

“?????????????”

Bruce gently grabs Alfred’s hand (Alfred has to tilt down) and he’s taken to the pool area.

There’s a big ass tank.

There’s a big ass, 20 foot long, great white shark in that tank. Bruce hugs the glass. Alfred may or may not pass out. Martha gently takes Bruce in her arms, kindly asks Alfred to clean the floors, and vanishes in the shadows.

She also has an albino ball python that Bruce adores. Occasionally, she wears him as a scarf. Alfred is severely loving and regretting his life choices.

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

I know there are canon reasons why Alfred had that money, but you cannot convince me that it wasn’t because he dated Martha and Thomas Wayne

[faytelumos]

Dude the way I'm eating your tags like they're my last meal on death's row!! I'll do the same here. Can you IMAGINE the standard Thomas sat when he became a father.

This wild, rowdy, firecracker of a man Gotham grew from golden soil and made him dirty, becoming a dad? Oh man.

Especially in the black and white era, where the most proficient job you could have in Gotham was a gangster. Second was a thief. Third was politician, but they mean the same thing anyway.

No man was particularly attached to fatherhood, " Yeah, I see my brats once a week. "

" Sheesh, you're lucky. I had to cut back work when my wife delivered. I just don't get why I have to do be there. What's your stance on that, Thomas? Does the husband have to be there?"

Thomas, smiling like a feral tiger: You know I delivered my baby, right?

OOOKAY, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS!

Okay, be Thomas Wayne, doctor, philanthropist, old money, living in Gotham with your beautiful wife and your beautiful boyfriend, and you're having a son.

(Martha makes a funny joke about needing more girls in the house, and Alfred reminds her she throws most of her feminine relationships away after a month and a half.)

This is Gotham city. This place breeds corruption and desperation like a petri dish. You inherited the role of a founding family heir from a father you never liked and every secret organization and mobster has been trying to put you in their pocket since.

And now you have a beautiful, tender, delicate baby boy.

Absolute fucking terror.

This boy is going to be a target for every walk of life from the ground to the sky. This boy is going to get seductive offers to corruption every day, this boy is going to be a walking paycheck for anyone who's in trouble, this boy is small, and vulnerable, and yours, and he's meat and money to everyone else out there.

His future is altogether uncertain, but there's a million possibilities out there, and most of them are terrible, and it's the worst kind of anxiety.

On top of this, based on your fic, Thomas did not have any kind of healthy relationship with his dad.

This makes it so much harder. Now you're Thomas, worried to death that the world is gonna eat your son alive, and wondering what kind of father you're gonna be.

Fatherhood and manliness are two toxic chemicals that mix into the water as far as Thomas can tell. Maybe Tommy can sleep a little easier knowing Alfred will be there, knowing Bruce's other father won't be taking Tommy's shit, will also be looking out for his boy. Maybe having such a good person there, too, will protect Bruce from the boogeyman inside every other man that is Fatherhood.

Because Thomas never met a father he liked. Thomas hated Ben. And he's so terrified he's going to be just like him.

But besides all of this, Thomas is here, now, holding his newborn baby in his hands. It was crazy getting ready for it — everyone was asking him if it was really a good idea for him to be delivering his own baby, but honestly, he would never forgive himself if he missed that chance. It was crazy, because Martha, his absolute fireworks show, his light in the dark, was soldiering through all of the contractions and the pain all the way to the delivery room. And Alfred's just outside, putting out fires all over the manor as they get ready for a bump turned into a baby, Tommy's rock calmly pacing and bringing order and certainty to a day so very full of chaos and fear.

And it's a lot. It's so much. But in the scrubs, with the mask and the gloves, Tommy's hands are steady and he breathes evenly, and he holds his wife's and child's lives in those hands, and he loves them endlessly. Nothing can go wrong, and he wouldn't trade the chance to be there for both of them through this for anything.

He's scared, of himself, of Gotham, but as his little boy's growing up, he just takes the moments he can get and he does everything in his power to make his little mini-me boy as happy as physically possible. He takes every moment to give Bruce what he wanted at that age.

[nebulastarss]

World building the Catbatfam AU:

About Gotham: it's actually peaceful there. Yeah, all is casual, no need for costumed vigilantes. There's still a dark and dreary aesthetic, but is it truly GOTHam without the gargoyles and rain and darkness? It's just a normal city, no unusually high crime rate.

About the Rogues: honestly? They're either also cats or don't exist. With things being the way they are (peaceful Gotham, no vigilantes), some of the Rogues dont have their problems.

Examples:

Mr Freeze: Nora's illnesses don't work if she's a cat, and we can't have Victor going villain, so instead she has a rare illness, but beats it against the odds, and they live together happily. This works as both cats and humans

----------------------------

The Joker (a potential side story in a series): he's a human, he's just a bitch with a bad sense of humor who doesn't like animals. He moved to Gotham thinking the smog would lower the amount of animals, but not only did he move in across from a (thriving?) Park, but also his last remaining relatives died, and all they left him was their fucking cat named Harleen, or Harley.

(They did that as they left everything else to their close friends. They hated him, so they didn't want him to sue for being forgotten in the will, and instead left him something they knew he'd hate. They figured he'd give Harley up within a week. The Joker has too much pride for that.)

He hates that cat. He refuses to get a litter box, so she very quickly has to learn to be an outdoor cat. Harley does not know how to outdoor cat. She is struggling.

----------------------------

Ivy: a stray cat who's taken over the park outside of the Joker's house. She's got plant powers, always having plants threaded through her orange fur. She helps Harley, and their story ends with her kicking the Joker's ass. They become Gotham's resident cat-park lesbians. Honestly, she's living her best life. Harley is no longer struggling.

----------------------------

Killer Croc: Waylon is a cat with a skin condition, he always seems to be covered in scabs. He was taken in by a lovely family.

I can't think of anything else, I don't really care for the rogue's backstories tbh

----------------------------

The Wayne's (main plot): the owners are Martha and Thomas Wayne, and their cat Alfred. They refer to him as their friend, talk to him like a person, and eventually claim he's co-parenting their kitten Bruce. They got Alfred in college, and I'll post a drawing of him the second motivation hits. Until then you don't get to know his breed, it's a surprise. (I found out that the breed exists like. 10 minutes ago. Never heard of it before) from there, Bruce slowly collects his kittens and everyone lives happily ever after

Potential other families

The Kent's: lovely older couple bigs up a dog off the street. Who picks up a dog off the street (they're apparently related? Hello Kara.). And then another dog (who... he's also related too? Why do you have a son. Where did he come from. Whatever, his name is Kon) And then another dog, but at least he brings his wife this time. (Your wife's name is now Lois. Your newest son is now Jon. How many of these are we getting?) Etc etc for other superfamily members. They become those farmers with a whole clan of dogs who help out.

The Prince's: honestly I know jackshit about Diana. However I think she has a boyfriend? (Steve? Trevor? I dunno.) So he's a loser living alone with his badass cat. She could beat him in a fight and he knows it. He's pretty sure that she has more muscles than him. Also she's not like. Aging? Girl how old are you. Why do you look at me with such intelligence. I love you with my entire heart and would do anything for you but also you scare me. (I feel like he'd get her a talking button pad. She'd love it I think.) ("Is Diana otherworldly?" 🤷. If you ask her boy he'd say yes, but her vet would say no)

The Allen's: Barry is a bird. End of story, I shouldn't have to explain myself here. He is a bird, along with Wally and Bart.

J'onn: fish. He is a fish. To me. I dunno I'm working off of vibes here. M'gann is also a fish. Martians are fish.

(Picture me, desperately trying to remember the other members of the Justice League after having a busy day and 2 big meals. I'm so tired)

The Lanterns: there's canoically a rage cat. There's a cat with the red ring. They are cats. All of em, Hal, Guy, Kyle I think, there's probably more but I don't know em, all cats.

The Queens': genuinely I do not know this man. Well, no. I have like the opposite problem here as I do with Diana, as I know Diana's personality but I know nothing about her. I know Oliver's backstory, but I know nothing of him as a character. I can't accurately say anything about him. I think it would be funny to make him a cat because Bruce is a cat and these 2 parallel each other, but I'd rather make that decision based on him, not Bruce.

[jesamnelovelace]

Everybody Bruce cares about being dead in his nightmare

[erinwantstowrite]

Halloween AU!!!

hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!

i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!

Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz

Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)

Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???

For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.

adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:

Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!

Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.

additional doodles for this au:

i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween

[sully-s]

Insomnia Late-Night Talks

So I've mentioned this before but I like the idea that Alfred is not ExMI6 He's just a service worker your avg Joe who is good at his job and worked up the ranks in the household.

I also love the idea that Alfred isn't close to the Wyane family as it's normally shown. He's strictly always just been the help. He never saved Thomas in the war or even has a long history with the Wayne family.

it just makes the time after Martha's and Thomas's deaths even more jarring. Not only has Bruce lost his parents he's being left to a member of the staff? While Alfred is also equally a drift who never knew he was basically the godfather to his employer's kid.(Thomas and Martha die before they could tell him)

So now they both have to learn to deal with and live in a huge empty manor with only really each other to keep company. Two people who are not huge talkers lol.

I think when it's very late at night especially when Bruce has insomnia they both can open up and really get to know each other and ask some big questions.

[izadi234]

Forget me not

-Warning: Contain yandere themes, neglected! gn!reader, mention of low self-esteem, the writer's first language isn't English.

Yan! Batfamily x gn! reader

Chapters

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 (You're here)

Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 2

The moment you retreated to your room Alfred's gaze hardened as he looked at the kitchen door through which you had left.

With a sigh he returned to making breakfast, however, something couldn't stop going around in his head.

Why?

Why do you have to leave?

Why do you have to leave ME?

He doesn't blame you. Your "family" has done nothing but ignore you and push you aside on more than one occasion since you arrived at Wayne Manor. And if it weren't for him, Bruce wouldn't have remembered to pay for your needs and education.

No. He could never blame you for your decision, but he can blame Bruce and your brothers. He had never felt such anger for them, not even when Martha and Thomas died at the hands of that cruel man. But that never had a solution, but this did. His family has a solution and he was going to fix it for you and for you. To always have his ray of sunshine at his side.

He wasn't going to lose you without having fought a war.

But for now, he had to stay calm. He sighed once more and finally relaxed as he served breakfast on the plates. He has to talk to Duje after you told him about your decision.

He had to think with a cool head. As he had told Bruce many years ago: "Fear doesn't make you think clearly" and not only was he scared of his little ones going out into the world alone, he also had anger built up. And he was going to use those two feelings to his advantage.

It was not for nothing that he was a very feared soldier during the war.

You were in your room as usual texting with a friend when Duke knocked on your bedroom door before coming in.

"Hey (name)!" said Duke happily who sat on your bed while you sat at your desk

"Oh hey Duke!" you greeted him with a smile anyway "How was school today?"

"A little boring, but at least it's Friday now" he chuckled

"And you? How was your day?"

It's now or never.

You sighed and got up from your spot to sit next to him on your bed.

"I have something to tell you Duke…" you put a hand on his shoulder

"And what is it?" He asked worriedly seeing your seriousness "Don't tell me it's something bad"

"No, it's nothing bad. At least I don't consider it bad" you started to say "But, Duke, I've decided to move out of the mansion"

"…What?…" he said in a quiet tone of voice surprised by your words

No, it can't be…

"I know it's sudden, but I can't stand this place" you sighed "I want- No, I need to start over without being in the shadow of others"

You turned to look at him and caressed his cheek.

"But this doesn't mean we won't see each other again. We'll be able to talk and keep in touch" you offered him a smile

Without saying anything, Duke hugged you and nestled his head in the crook of your neck. You put a hand on his neck and caressed him.

"Just… Don't forget about me…" he said after a few minutes of silence.

He pulled away from you and wiped away some tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

"I could never do that, brother," you wiped one of his eyes with your thumb.

After that emotional conversation, you and Duke spent the afternoon in your room talking and watching movies on your laptop. However, Duke's mind was still on that conversation.

There was no chance that you would leave him. He had to find a way to prevent you from leaving his side.

The week you moved went by so fast that when you realized it, you were already taking the last box with your belongings out of the mansion.

You looked back at that mansion one last time and felt like that little kid again who arrived with fear and excitement to what he would call home for years. But soon your face darkened as you remembered the suffering you had experienced there. Without thinking twice, you turned around and got on your motorcycle, but not before securing your last box. You started the bike and left Wayne Manor.

You hadn't said goodbye to Alfred nor Duke but you left a letter on both of their beds wishing each of them the best, thanking them for everything and giving them the phone number of your second cell phone in case they needed something or just wanted to check on you. However, you didn't leave anything else, not even an address. You wanted to completely erase the Waynes from your life, you wanted to erase the fact that you were a Wayne too. You wanted to forget them so much that you turned off the cameras in the mansion for a period of time so you could take out your things in peace, so that no one would see the license plates of your motorcycle that you had been keeping at a friend's house and whose motorcycle was registered.

If nothing else, you had developed the same paranoia as Bruce and decided to take every measure to avoid being located. You even thought about going to live in Metropolis or Star City but the rent and sale of apartments there were much more expensive than in Gotham. Maybe when you earn more money once you finish college.

But for now focus on your present.

Before it is taken away from you.

When you got to your apartment you let out a sigh that you didn't know you were holding. You looked around, there were some pieces of furniture that came with the apartment like a leather armchair that was a little worn but looked pretty new, a wooden bookcase, several coffee tables, some pots and kitchen stuff. The only thing you had to buy was your bed but your best friend did you the favor of giving you a headboard for your bed as a gift of independence and you only bought a mattress. It wasn't as comfortable as the one you had in the mansion but at least you had things you could consider yours. NOT thanks to Wayne, but thanks to your efforts.

You put the box on the kitchen counter and before going to your room you saw several boxes.

Damn... You hadn't thought about how lazy you were going to be when you had to unpack.

That same day you left, Alfred had returned from going grocery shopping. At that time of the morning you and he used to spend the morning together, while you were in your online classes, he did the housework along with the food. Between the breaks you had between classes you used to go see what he was doing in the kitchen and you were his personal taster.

Now that you were on vacation, you spent more time with him because Bruce, Tim and sometimes Damian went to Wayne Enterprises, Dick and Jason weren't usually at the mansion and Duke, Cass and Stephanie were training in the Batcave or with their friends. For that same reason Alfred was alarmed when he called your name and you didn't answer.

He quickly went up to your room only to find it completely empty. His heart raced and he started to sweat lightly.

You couldn't have left so quickly, right?

He went down again and checked all the rooms in the big mansion and found nothing. Only his own room was missing. As he entered he could see an envelope of your favorite color on his pillow. He approached and read it.

In the letter you apologized for not saying goodbye to him in person but if you did you were more than sure that you wouldn't be able to leave. You also left him a private cell phone number where he could call you and you wished him all the best.

It had been a long time since Alfred felt the need to cry but without realizing it he had already shed a few tears. He couldn't believe that his little one was already gone.

After having shed a few tears, he quickly wiped his eyes and composed himself. No, he couldn't cry because you were going to return. He was sure of that.

However, he would let you enjoy your independence a little before implementing his plan for you to return home to your family. With him.

But first he'll have to talk with Duke.

Helloooo! I hope you liked the second chapter! If you did leave a heart and i'll see you in the next one. I kind of think this chapter is kind of bland but the story is just begining. This are the first impressions of you leaving the Manor but soon enough the rest of the family will appear.

Thanks you for reading!

-Izadi <3

TAG LIST

@eyeless-kun

[dio-niisio]

(English is not my first language, so please ignore any mistakes! :-))

Ok I've been imagining a scenario that for some reason Martha and Thomas Wayne are brought back from the dead...

One day they are dead and the other they are starting at their graves, reading their names and being very confused.

Alfred probably finds them first, he looks out the window and sees two people standing in the family cemetery, Wayne Manor had problems in the past with grave robbers, and he would be damned if he let that happen with their grave. So poor Alfred runs, grabbing some old shovel on the way (just to scare, not to harm!), ready to give an ear full on these people. That's when he sees. His friends.

He's surprised to say the least. They don't look young, the years they were gone caught up to them. Thomas has mostly grey hair and Martha had a white strip of hair right in the top of her head...

Alfred doesn't know what to do, so he brings them inside. And starts to prepare some tea while he tries to explain the past 30 something years.

The next person who sees them is Dick, he smelled the tea and was going to get a cup, then he saw the people in the painting on the top of the stairs. And he panicked. Cuz he knows what that implies, and he is worried for his dad.

He introduces himself as 'Bruce's son' which gets them to be a very happy set of grandparents, he tells them the story of when Bruce adopted him (cuz grandpa wanted to meet his mom, in the end he got a nice and tragic story of the flying Grayson's)! And how he always wanted to meet them! He also text Jason, telling him to get his ass downstairs and talk to his family.

Jason almost had a heart attack, he thought that Dick wanted him to talk to Bruce not grandpa and grandma, he's very happy of course, but he's worried for them, resurrection isn't something nice, but they assure him they are as good as they could be. And it is his turn to explain that he's also adopted (they laughed at the tire story, he told them it was one of Bruce's "fancy cars"). He comments that he and Martha have matching hair (both with a white stripe right in the middle).

Tim comes home around noon, he's been spending time with some school friends, and when he hears some commotion in the kitchen he goes to investigate, that's when he sees them and thinks he's hallucinating (again), but he's reassured by a very happy grandma. He tells them he's 'Tim Drake-Wayne', and is his time to explain that no Bruce didn't marry a Drake, he is his legal guardian (aka Dad) cuz when his parents died on a archaeological excavation his uncle was not fit to be his guardian so Bruce stepped up.

Thomas and Martha are so happy in a couple of hours they went from being dead to having 3 beautiful grandchildren! They are very proud of Bruce for making a difference in these boys lives!

That's when Damian walks in the kitchen he just wanted Alfred's help with something, he looks just like Bruce when he was that age (or what they think Bruce would look like), he doesn't look surprised or excited, he just says that he's Bruce's 'biological son', which gets one of his ears pinched by Dick with a very stern 'be nice'. Before they can ask anything they're being hugged by Damian who says that it is nice to have them in here.

When Bruce comes home he's very tired™, he had a day full of meetings on Wayne enterprises and he still gotta do Batman stuff. He passed through the kitchen and saw that his kids had guests over. He doesn't think much of it until he gives a good look at them.

"Mama? Papa?"

And the world stopped spinning. That's them! All he wanted to see since he was an 8 year old little boy. He just doesn't believe it.

He looks just like his dad. Probably a bit shorter (and not rocking the mustache), but he has his mama's eyes. And her smile. He missed her smile so much! He missed his papa's hugs, he missed the lullabies his mama used to sing, he missed playing pretend with his papa, he missed them.

And he can't say a word. He just cries. He hugs them and he cries. His mama and papa are really back! They are back home!

And now it's his turn to catch up! And boy he's got a lot to say!

As they move to the living room Thomas gives this look to Alfred, smiles and says "Thank you for caring for our little boy, old friend!"

"Little boy? I'm sorry Mister Wayne, but that's an understatement. He's almost taller than the cabinets!"

[crabrat]

no no but think an au where gotham thinks alfred is batman

cause like gotham has known bruce since he was a kid hiding under tables at galas, they’ve watched him grow up and honestly to gotham he’s decently well adjusted-(they haven’t seen him at Gotham U the kids there know hes friends with harvey dent for fucks say and you can’t be friends with that man without having a bit of crazy in you)

they’re not going to assume that he goes out every night as a dressed as a humanoid bat-no the young lad was much too tired running Wayne Interprize and being depressed

alfred though? everyone knows alfred was in the secret service before Martha and Thomas died. and everyone also knows that they and the butler were practically married considering the way he was talked about in press interviews and through the rare press pictures people got of them

so in his grief the people think it’s very reasonable for the butler to have snapped and taken such a duty as batman up-as repentance as a way of avenging the late wayne’s as a way of protecting bruce

this of course is not official information but the people of gotham have some type of an unsaid agreement

whenever one of bruce wayne’s wards are taken hostage bruce wayne is noticeably absent and batman swoops in to save the day-as to not repeat the events of the part alfred must have made bruce stay put, safe, and gone to save his grandsons

when one brings up the age argument you’re likely to get a condescending look and the irritable response that alfred’s immortal

this is not further explains

it is simply a truth of life in gotham

moving on

people start to realize the amount robins match up with amount of kids brucie has and immediately come to the conclusion alfred has been training them to take care of gotham and make sure bruce is safe. this is a perfectly reasonable and ethical conclusion to most gotham residents the city moves on

when jason todd the second robin dies batman gets much much more aggressive people start sending very fancy cooking supplies and ingredients to wayne manor which could mean nothing

red hood emerges and starts using guns everyone thinks that he’s one of batman’s failed trainees as obviously alfred taught the kids to use guns even though he never uses them this is speculated to because of how the wayne’s died

naturally most anyone outside of gotham thinks they’re all mad but what else is new

alfred is fully aware of these rumors and sometimes likes to feed into it by “absentmindedly” spinning a batterang while looking directly into one of the press cameras at the most recent gala

this doesn’t actually change anything about the story except that it contributes to bernard’s first ever correct conspiracy about bruce being batman, all of bernard’s conspiracy forum friends want to kick him out for this wild even to them claim, tim has to try really hard not to start laughing hysterically

[bruciemilf]

The best way to imagine the Wayne clan, at least for me, is like this:

Thomas’ side of the family

Martha’s side:

[sheep-from-rad]

Note: This is just an Idea. I don’t know if I’m going to make a full fic or incorporate this into future fics. 

You know what’s not always talked about? Alfred’s angst potential in the neglected!reader fics. We know Alfred left his life behind to work for Martha and Thomas Wayne and then later on becoming the adoptive father to Bruce. Along with his old life, he had to leave his daughter Julia behind (I don’t remember which timeline but i think this is flashpoint) 

I would love to see a fanfic where the reader realizes that Alfred sticks with them not because of familial love or duty, he stayed because of guilt. Reader realizes that Alfred doesn’t see them at all, he sees Julia and what it’s like if he raised Julia. 

Bonus angst if Alfred started pushing the reader towards the things he remembered Julia likes: her favourite colour, her preferences in clothes, food, the things she hates, etc. Bonus angst (2x) if Alfred once accidentally called reader as ‘Julia’

masterlist

[frownyalfred]

Since my brain is full of Pennywaynes again this morning…just thinking about notorious workaholic and playboy Thomas Wayne AND full-time charity circuit queen and philanthropist Martha Wayne both rushing home from their engagements every week and declining plans when they used to be the talk of the town every evening…

…to spend time with their butler. Because Alfred can’t/won’t be seen out with them, but he is always at home in the Manor waiting for them. And they want to be with him more than they want good theater tickets or an exclusive reservation at some new restaurant downtown. 

I don’t know, there’s something about the Waynes eschewing fame and glamour for Alfred. Fuck what society thinks, they’re going home and grabbing their butler and doing something silly like skinny dipping in the Manor duck pond and then cuddling in front of the grand ballroom fireplace with a crazy expensive vintage trying not to spill it everywhere because they’re giggling so much. Like man they were a team.

[cloakedsparrow]

Alfred is Tim's Biological Grandfather AU

Bruce and Alfred had found it slightly odd that Jack and Janet Drake didn't ask any questions about Tim spending so much time at Wayne Manor. True, the Drakes could have questioned Tim and he simply could have not told them. However, the boy knew better than to keep it to himself if he'd made any excuses Bruce might need to know or if his parents were likely to make any complaints. Neither of the Drakes ever contacted Bruce or the Manor. They never requested to see or speak with any member of the family.

While they were making the arrangements for Janet's funeral (because Jack was in a coma and Tim was just a child), Bruce received a summons from her lawyer, stating that she'd remembered her dear friend in her will. Bruce was immediately suspicious because he and Janet Drake hadn't been friends.

Bruce receives a letter, along with a small, locked box, about the size of a document mailer. The letter apologizes for the deception and requests that Bruce give the box to Alfred Pennyworth, stating that the combination was Tim's birthday. Out of respect for Alfred more than anything, Bruce follows the instructions.

After going through the box privately, Alfred appears more solemn than Bruce has seen him in decades. He tells Bruce that -years before- he'd slept with a upper-class woman when visiting his father, who had already been working for the Waynes. After coming to work for the Wayne's himself, Alfred had learned that the woman had gotten married not long after and had a child. A child that was just the right age to potentially be his. At his request, Thomas and Martha invited the woman and her husband to a party at the Manor. Alfred very professionally informed her that she had an important phone call and to please follow him to an appropriate guest phone. Once they were in a private room, Alfred calmly informed her that he was going to require proof that the child was not his. He would be happy to take a paternity test himself, or she could take one for her husband that proved he was father. Whether she told her husband or did it behind his back, Alfred didn't care. He had no intention of causing a scene but he fully intended to be there for his child if he had one. The woman had agreed and discreetly had a paternity test done that had proven her daughter was her husband's child.

Alfred had thought that was the end of it. However, Janet Drake had left him a letter informing him that she had been that child. More importantly, she had informed him that the paternity test had been forged to keep him out of the picture since her mother had found a better prospect in her husband. After her parents died (she'd been an adult), Janet had found the results and a letter from her deceased maternal grandmother (who helped with the forgery) explaining the matter. She hadn't been sure how to feel or what to do about it. She'd ended up just ignoring it.

She had been concerned when Tim suddenly started spending time at Wayne Manor, but when she asked Tim about it, after talking about how nice Mr Wayne was and how cool Dick was and learning to play tennis and getting help with his gymnastics et all, he'd started talking about Alfred. He kept talking about how amazing he was. How kind he was. How funny he was. How clever he was.

Even though Tim hadn't known about the blood they shared, he'd clearly loved Alfred. Janet couldn't take his grandfather from him. That was why she let him spend so much time at Wayne Manor. That was why she never demanded to speak to Bruce. As far as she was concerned, it wasn't really about him. It was about family.

She also let Alfred know that she'd always been the primary caregiver for Tim. She'd always made the decisions in regards to him. She selected his nannies, babysitters, and boarding school. She saw to his medical appointments and made sure anyone preparing meals for Tim knew about his allergy (I always headcanon hazelnuts for some reason). She signed him up for gymnastics and martial arts. She made sure he got to and from Summer camp.

She knew Jack wouldn't know how to be a parent and requested that Alfred help out as much as he was comfortable with.

She also apologized for not telling Alfred the truth until it was too late for her to get to know him herself. She told him that the more Tim talked about him, the more she considered telling them both the truth. That she'd truly wanted to know him but just kept putting it off. If he was reading the letter, then she’d obviously waited too long.

Bruce and Alfred double check Alfred's blood against Tim's in the Cave before Alfred tells the boy he's his grandson. With Tim's permission, he discreetly has a proper blood test ran and uses the results to quietly assume custody of his grandson while Jack is in a coma.

When Jack wakes up and Alfred learns that he's both made arrangements for Tim to get an early junior's license to drive him around and also to work at Drake Industries for him, he doesn't just complain. He sees Jack privately and informs him that HE has had custody of Tim, not Bruce, as the city has assumed. He informs him of their relation. He informs him that he made a good deal of money both in the service of Her Royal Majesty and the Waynes and he invested that money wisely. In fact, he currently has more money than Jack. He informs Jack that unless he wants them to take it to a judge, Tim will not be acting as a caregiver, chauffeur, or executive assistant to Jack. If the man cannot afford to hire appropriate help, then Alfred will happy to pay for it, discreetly, of course.

Jack takes the latter option. He and Tim still move into the Manor next door, so that Tim can easily & quickly go to Alfred if he needs anything. While he's reluctant to say it aloud and almost petulant about it at times, Jack actually appreciates Alfred's help with Tim. He doesn't pay as much attention to the boy, but Tim ends up better taken care of anyway.

Alfred attends the Young Justice parent-Red Tornado conference alongside Dick (he asked Dick to still come as he’d understand the needs of a group of young heroes better than anyone else present). Unlike the others, he always stays on top of what the kids are getting up to. He refuses to participate in the sixteenth birthday trauma, which Tim figures out quicker since Bruce is working on his own (and he has someone to turn to afterwards -Alfred and Bruce have WORDS). He also holds people who hurt him accountable (it's harder with Bruce, who he sees as a son, but he does not mince words with Jack, Stephanie, or anyone else). He adored Dana and they had tea together once every fortnight just to ensure they were on the same page with Tim. He steps in and treats Tim much more fairly after Damian enters the picture. He goes full John Wick on Ra's after the man goes after his grandson.

He's still a grandfather to the others, but having custody of Tim (and a letter from his daughter asking him to care for the boy) gives him a sense of authority that he lacks with them. With the rest of the Waynes, he tries to stay somewhat professional, despite his feelings for them. He doesn't feel the need to do so with Tim because he's not the valet who also helped raise him. He's his grandfather, first and foremost.

[sbrinnie]

Even if you bribe a kid into accompanying you, there is no guarantee that said kid would behave, there are negative guarantees if the kid is Richard Grayson.

Of course Bruce could just leave him at the Manor, but his helicopter parenting keep too many terrible scenarios of what might happen with his kid and, most importantly, he would have no excuse to leave the galas early. Taking Dick to the galas was for his benefit more than anything else. But he also knows that if he takes that path his responsibilities double.

Dick needs to be entertained, which is no problem, even though Alfred has a no-screen policy, Bruce is delighted not to be entangled in any unfruitful small talk and just have conversations with his son ward all night.

Dick doesn’t like any of the other kids from high society, so Bruce is prepared to have a child-shaped koala with him all night. They just need to get to 9 o'clock, and then Bruce can excuse them because Dick is tired.

The real problem was the speeches, oh my god, the speeches.

They were too long for Dick’s attention span, and there was not much a napkin could do to distracted someone, they couldn’t talk, or it would be seen as disrespectful (they did it once, and this led to Alfred scolding them both). So, the solution they found was Bingo.

Dick's family used to play Bingo with him while traveling with the circus. “The showman will forget his lines,” or “The clown will have its nose stolen by a baby,” or even “It will rain” – anything was on the table. The bingo cards were made beforehand by them and could list at most 10 things they thought would happen while in the city. Whoever got the most correct wins and could ask for anything they wanted.

Alfred found the idea genius. He did something of the sort with Bruce when he was younger, trying to distract him while Martha and Thomas mingled with the society. By that day beyond, the Waynes had a bingo card for almost every gala they attended. It also served as memory game, trying to remember everyone in high society, and made both of them train their stealth. No one could know what they were doing or the game was lost. The most common to appear was “Drakes will not go” since they were always traveling, and “Kate will be late” once they knew their cousin would do everything in her power to not make an appearance.

The rules were simple: 1 - Behave, if there’s anything but a well behaved appearance the game is over; 2 - The events can not be provoked, you can’t influence the outcomes; 3 - No one can know what they are doing.

Even Barbara got to play! Alfred described it as a gladiator's fight, both having competitors' souls and hating to lose for one another; the end of the night, when the points were counted, sounded like a deputy election. Jim almost never went to galas, but he was glad they were having fun, he was content with free babysitting and a entire day to himself.

And so, the tradition carried on. By Jason's first gala, Dick was so excited that he even spent the night before at the manor helping him complete his card. Soon enough, they noticed the great sibling bonding time in that. Sadly, Bruce had lost his spot in the competition but was happy his kids were having fun together. Tim received his at a patrol before the gala from Dick and just went, “Oh, that’s what you guys were doing all along?” He admits it was his funniest night and less stealthy bingo ever. The Drakes were seated two tables away from the Waynes, and Dick couldn’t stop glaring at him every time Tim made a point. “Just how the kid predicted a whole fight between two mistresses?” The first place was never more difficult to win.

Cassandra and Stephanie almost couldn’t contain their laughter when they scored “Mayor will say ‘and’ at least 27 times,” poor guy got more nervous by each laugh and the point was almost lost because “he started to gag more because of them”. By Damian's time, it was a day’s thing preparation. The whole family was entangled in gossip about high society; they knew about pregnancies, affairs, money laundering. Damian found the game nonsense and refused to play, but they could see him perking by Dick's shoulder to see if he got the point or not.

When Jason was back from the dead and in civil terms with the family, he was given a card by mail and small instructions on the back. Somehow, Jason got the second-highest score that night. When Duke came by, it almost looked like a cambio house! They started to make chips to know how many times someone won (also a attempt to accompany Bruce to the galas with more frequency) and they were exchanged it regularly, it could also be passed down for favors with each other. Bruce and Alfred were the only final line; they cashed the chips for days without patrol, favorite foods, bigger allowances, etc.

They are pretty serious about their game, Cassandra has the most chips but only use them to scape shores, Tim is the champion six galas in a row and Dick as not won a game since he was 17.