#Ai is not... a good narrative choice for that

[sebek-zigbolt]

gueh, its all igni

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Still On1y Care About...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7 of 12 - Deeeelightful. They are so damn cute + a nice kiss! The rise of the green flag semes continues. I like it when Diew flirts and shows that he does have some experience in a relationship, and he can/will flex his power. Props to God for being a man who remembers to TAKE HIS DRINK with him. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 4 of 10 - Yep I still like it and all its toxicity. It’s fun to see how closely it follows the original. Now I really can’t wait to see how this one ends. Since this time around we get an actual ending.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 6 of 12 - How did they know that what I wanted more than anything was a side couple = spoiled prince + demon lord? How clever they are to give them to me. Meanwhile, in a shocking twist, the leads have known each other since childhood. Because why be original? 

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Oh it’s very cute. I love Ing. I love that Ai was honest with his bestie. Best friend's older brother trope is a go! Also good kisses all round. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Ohm has his shirt off less than 5 min in. I guess GMMTV is learning what we want. My boy Title is the creep character again. I’m assuming that’s why GMMTV brought him on board at this juncture. Sigh. New boy, Q, looks like Mek’s younger brother. Ultimately? I'm not convinced on this one. It is doing what it says on the tin, but nothing more than that. I’m not wild about it, but I will keep watching.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - The more OffGun BLs, the more time they spend communicating as characters in those BLs. It’s kind of charming. They've become the pair that advocates for communication in relationships. I like it as evolution for their brand. Flirting via the printer was very fun. Especially as the Thai script is so beautiful.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - I guess this is a lockdown narrative? Odd choice. A lot of familiar faces but from more minor rolls. Is this from the Destiny Seeker people? It feels like that. It’s a bigger cast than I was expecting, and a sort of classic university BL of the kind star Hunter produces. Or the end of love people. Pretty classic Thai pulp stuff. I’m mildly enjoying it. Hali is too hot to be the dorky second lead. Nice to see Boat back on my screen. However, it is… what’s the word I am looking for? Oh yes. Boring. Plus singing. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I entirely lost my mind over this show this week. Fuck me it's so good. The delicacy sends me. I keep expecting it to be clumsy and then is just isn't - it's so subtle and it demands we pay such close attention. I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole time I'm watching.

Cliff's notes on these 2 eps as follows:

The pure unadulterated tsundere of it all.

The awesome angst, it aches.

The series of repercussions after the fight was pacing genius.

The brilliant juxtaposition of "the kid who self isolates too easily" versus "the one who has been forced into isolation" meets both of them being smart enough to know why they react out of hurt, but neither can stop doing it.

Baby’s reaction to learning he’s going to be left behind = to instantly make plans to do the leaving in the future hurts my heart in the best possible way.

"Maybe what we call eternity is just persistence."

Maybe one boy simply deciding to be another boy's rock is romance. 

Production better nail the second half of this show! It better be the world against them from here on out or the audience is gonna riot.

And by "audience" I mean me.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 5 of 10 - Oh noes! Poor baby boy!!! My heart hurts. But also gah so cute and next week they shack up together! Hooray! 

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 - too much time spent on the girl again. I don’t need excuses for why she’s a bitch. So can we talk about Taichi instead? It’s such a good characterization, this boy who understands everything about other people but doesn’t notice anything about himself, including his own abilities of observation. The person who is special never realizes how special they are, I guess. The soundscapes are so good with this show. The moments where prod decided to be silent are so vital and so pivotal and used with such delicacy and strategy, it’s truly audio magic manipulation.  

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - I loved how Orca just jumped on the stage. What a great side couple. CHARMED I TELL YOU. Orca was all… singing? Naw. I came back to fuck the manager's brains out. Anything less than that is unacceptable. 

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 10 fin - Essentially this was a growth story for Takara and an exercise in patience while the two of them learned each other’s quirks and languages. It was also an exercise in patience for me... who doesn’t like the power differential of a weaker younger character having to do all the pursuing while constantly feeling like he is inferior to the older popular hot character. I know this was a BL that was definitely for some people, since plenty liked it way more than I did, but I didn’t like it very much even though there’s nothing objectively wrong with it. It simply wasn’t to my personal taste. 7/10 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 5-6 of 8 - Enter an ex or something? Well he certainly has a type. Bah. This whole series seems to be mainly about cheating. It’s very annoying because they are all so pretty. 

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Messy gay pain here we go.

Oh it’s exactly what I expected. Do I like it? No I do not. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. I have a bad feeling about this one. DNF 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

The Hidden Moon (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast. Couldn't find it. Didn't really look.

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once. No new one this week.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Plus:

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Not sure what this is from but I capped it for a reason so, shrug.

The scent trope AND the childhood crush trope? I see you suckering me into one trope because I like the other. Clever, Battle. Very clever.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[autisticandroids]

i've been seeing ai takes that i actually agree with and have been saying for months get notes so i want to throw my hat into the ring.

so i think there are two main distinct problems with "ai," which exist kind of in opposition to each other. the first happens when ai is good at what it's supposed to do, and the second happens when it's bad at it.

the first is well-exemplified by ai visual art. now, there are a lot of arguments about the quality of ai visual art, about how it's soulless, or cliche, or whatever, and to those i say: do you think ai art is going to be replacing monet and picasso? do you think those pieces are going in museums? no. they are going to be replacing soulless dreck like corporate logos, the sprites for low-rent edugames, and book covers with that stupid cartoon art style made in canva. the kind of art that everyone thinks of as soulless and worthless anyway. the kind of art that keeps people with art degrees actually employed.

this is a problem of automation. while ai art certainly has its flaws and failings, the main issue with it is that it's good enough to replace crap art that no one does by choice. which is a problem of capitalism. in a society where people don't have to sell their labor to survive, machines performing labor more efficiently so humans don't have to is a boon! this is i think more obviously true for, like, manufacturing than for art - nobody wants to be the guy putting eyelets in shoes all day, and everybody needs shoes, whereas a lot of people want to draw their whole lives, and nobody needs visual art (not the way they need shoes) - but i think that it's still true that in a perfect world, ai art would be a net boon, because giving people without the skill to actually draw the ability to visualize the things they see inside their head is... good? wider access to beauty and the ability to create it is good? it's not necessary, it's not vital, but it is cool. the issue is that we live in a society where that also takes food out of people's mouths.

but the second problem is the much scarier one, imo, and it's what happens when ai is bad. in the current discourse, that's exemplified by chatgpt and other large language models. as much hand-wringing as there has been about chatgpt replacing writers, it's much worse at imitating human-written text than, say, midjourney is at imitating human-made art. it can imitate style well, which means that it can successfully replace text that has no meaningful semantic content - cover letters, online ads, clickbait articles, the kind of stuff that says nothing and exists to exist. but because it can't evaluate what's true, or even keep straight what it said thirty seconds ago, it can't meaningfully replace a human writer. it will honestly probably never be able to unless they change how they train it, because the way LLMs work is so antithetical to how language and writing actually works.

the issue is that people think it can. which means they use it to do stuff it's not equipped for. at best, what you end up with is a lot of very poorly written children's books selling on amazon for $3. this is a shitty scam, but is mostly harmless. the behind the bastards episode on this has a pretty solid description of what that looks like right now, although they also do a lot of pretty pointless fearmongering about the death of art and the death of media literacy and saving the children. (incidentally, the "comics" described demonstrate the ways in which ai art has the same weaknesses as ai text - both are incapable of consistency or narrative. it's just that visual art doesn't necessarily need those things to be useful as art, and text (often) does). like, overall, the existence of these kids book scams are bad? but they're a gnat bite.

to find the worst case scenario of LLM misuse, you don't even have to leave the amazon kindle section. you don't even have to stop looking at scam books. all you have to do is change from looking at kids books to foraging guides. i'm not exaggerating when i say that in terms of texts whose factuality has direct consequences, foraging guides are up there with building safety regulations. if a foraging guide has incorrect information in it, people who use that foraging guide will die. that's all there is to it. there is no antidote to amanita phalloides poisoning, only supportive care, and even if you survive, you will need a liver transplant.

the problem here is that sometimes it's important for text to be factually accurate. openart isn't marketed as photographic software, and even though people do use it to lie, they have also been using photoshop to do that for decades, and before that it was scissors and paintbrushes. chatgpt and its ilk are sometimes marketed as fact-finding software, search engine assistants and writing assistants. and this is dangerous. because while people have been lying intentionally for decades, the level of misinformation potentially provided by chatgpt is unprecedented. and then there are people like the foraging book scammers who aren't lying on purpose, but rather not caring about the truth content of their output. obviously this happens in real life - the kids book scam i mentioned earlier is just an update of a non-ai scam involving ghostwriters - but it's much easier to pull off, and unlike lying for personal gain, which will always happen no matter how difficult it is, lying out of laziness is motivated by, well, the ease of the lie.* if it takes fifteen minutes and a chatgpt account to pump out fake foraging books for a quick buck, people will do it.

*also part of this is how easy it is to make things look like high effort professional content - people who are lying out of laziness often do it in ways that are obviously identifiable, and LLMs might make it easier to pass basic professionalism scans.

and honestly i don't think LLMs are the biggest problem that machine learning/ai creates here. while the ai foraging books are, well, really, really bad, most of the problem content generated by chatgpt is more on the level of scam children's books. the entire time that the internet has been shitting itself about ai art and LLM's i've been pulling my hair out about the kinds of priorities people have, because corporations have been using ai to sort the resumes of job applicants for years, and it turns out the ai is racist. there are all sorts of ways machine learning algorithms have been integrated into daily life over the past decade: predictive policing, self-driving cars, and even the youtube algorithm. and all of these are much more dangerous (in most cases) than chatgpt. it makes me insane that just because ai art and LLMs happen to touch on things that most internet users are familiar with the working of, people are freaking out about it because it's the death of art or whatever, when they should have been freaking out about the robot telling the cops to kick people's faces in.

(not to mention the environmental impact of all this crap.)

[heartofbusan]

While we're theorizing about AYS, may I leave this one with you?

THEORY: Before the shoot began, JM and JK had a chat about how they were going to approach it as entertainers. One of the items they agreed upon was that JM would film 'house tours' of wherever they stay the night and JK would film the food insert shots. We see JM film a trour of their camping tiny house, the air b&b in CT and the house in Jeju. The only time he films the food is at the omakase but honestly, what else was he supposed to do there? Lol. JK was very diligent in getting 'dynamic' food coverage everywhere.

They each had their own little responsibility and I'm just so endeared. Who knows if we'll ever find out the answer but I think it's cute.

If anyone isn't following along with @curio-queries AYS production breakdowns, please do so. They are so insightful!

Thank you for this ask 😙 I feel like it's part of a longer conversation about how AYS came to exist, which I'd love to have. We might get some more insight into the 'why and how' of it after all the episodes and behinds have aired. But because theorizing is part and parcel of being ARMY, I say: why wait, let's go!

Early in episode 3, there's this one off-hand comment JK makes to Tae about getting out the 'company card' to pay for their meal in Jeju. It was relatable as most of us have at some point gone to lunch or dinner on 'the boss's dime'. It also served as a reminder that the expenses of this trip are literally billed as 'work' for them. And as they took it upon themselves to embark on this show, task assignment comes with the territory. So yes, it makes sense for them to have agreed as to their part of 'the coverage' during pre-production. The coverage being the type of shots they were willing and able to film themselves. And mind you, them filming parts of it is not only another checkmark on the overall shotlist; a way for production to get close up's of their faces and inserts of their meals, but also a way to emotionally seat the audience inside their experiences. Seeing it all through their eyes. So it was a great production choice as well as a narrative one to have them film with the go-pro's.

I think that's part of why it's so funny to them. They literally arranged a paid vacation for themselves, lmao. That omakase, they needed those shots as receipts to justify that (surely extremely expensive) meal. Do we think Taehyung would have had his meal paid for by Jimin, or could they have written it off as a 'guest star' expense? 🤔

Another thing that filming with the go-pro's does is, literally, hand jikook the reigns of what they're willing to film/show.

A much discussed example is the morning scene inside the CT house. JK wakes up, turns on the camera in the hallway outside Jimin’s door, entering, the scene cutting to the camera inside, etc. There are scores of decisions that took place prior to that scene. The editing of it is doing nothing to make the timeline of events any clearer. But all those cameras would have had to be turned on prior to them 'waking up' in the reality of the show. Parsing all of those choices, including when crew is back inside the house once morning comes, will have to wait for another day (that is , if anyone even cares to know, lol).

The point I'm getting at is that while traveling, JK and JM have more control over what we're being shown than we even realize. As you stated in your blog, ITS did this a lot.

ITS would end right up until the tannies would have had to leave a place. Never showing the travel back, probably because emotionally, you want the audience to stay with the characters inside the happy bubble of the experience, not the slog of traveling home. Especially because there is no longer a story to work towards.

My question to you, do you think they 'woke up' together prior to turning on the cameras and putting on the microphones? Who turns off the cams and mics at night before they actually sleep?

I think you know as well as I do that we shouldn't forget that AYS is a story we're being shown. There is a production that has to takes place in order to make it, and there are two professionals who are working to show us these moments. But more importantly, there are two human beings who are also having 'off-camera' moments who decide what they're willing to include in this show.

Sometimes, the lines get blurred, but the intentionality of this show and the kind of relationship they're inviting us to observe is monumental, in my opinion.

[txttletale]

Your discussions on AI art have been really interesting and changed my mind on it quite a bit, so thank you for that! I don’t think I’m interested in using it, but I feel much less threatened by it in the same way. That being said, I was wondering, how you felt about AI generated creative writing: not, like AI writing in the context of garbage listicles or academic essays, but like, people who generate short stories and then submit them to contests. Do you think it’s the same sort of situation as AI art? Do you think there’s a difference in ChatGPT vs mid journey? Legitimate curiosity here! I don’t quite have an opinion on this in the same way, and I’ve seen v little from folks about creative writing in particular vs generated academic essays/articles

i think that ai generated writing is also indisputably writing but it is mostly really really fucking awful writing for the same reason that most ai art is not good art -- that the large training sets and low 'temperature' of commercially available/mass market models mean that anything produced will be the most generic version of itself. i also think that narrative writing is very very poorly suited to LLM generation because it generally requires very basic internal logic which LLMs are famously bad at (i imagine you'd have similar problems trying to create something visual like a comic that requires consistent character or location design rather than the singular images that AI art is mostly used for). i think it's going to be a very long time before we see anything good long-form from an LLM, especially because it's just not a priority for the people making them.

ultimately though i think you could absolutely do some really cool stuff with AI generated text if you had a tighter training set and let it get a bit wild with it. i've really enjoyed a lot of AI writing for being funny, especially when it was being done with tools like botnik that involve more human curation but still have the ability to completely blindside you with choices -- i unironically think the botnik collegehumour sketch is funnier than anything human-written on the channel. & i think that means it could reliably be used, with similar levels of curation, to make some stuff that feels alien, or unsettling, or etheral, or horrifying, because those are somewhat adjacent to the surreal humour i think it excels at. i could absolutely see it being used in workflows -- one of my friends told me recently, essentially, "if i'm stuck with writer's block, i ask chatgpt what should happen next, it gives me a horrible idea, and i immediately think 'that's shit, and i can do much better' and start writing again" -- which is both very funny but i think presents a great use case as a 'rubber duck'.

but yea i think that if there's anything good to be found in AI-written fiction or poetry it's not going to come from chatGPT specifically, it's going to come from some locally hosted GPT model trained on a curated set of influences -- and will have to either be kind of incoherent or heavily curated into coherence.

that said the submission of AI-written stories to short story mags & such fucking blows -- not because it's "not writing" but because it's just bad writing that's very very easy to produce (as in, 'just tell chatGPT 'write a short story'-easy) -- which ofc isn't bad in and of itself but means that the already existing phenomenon of people cynically submitting awful garbage to literary mags that doesn't even meet the submission guidelines has been magnified immensely and editors are finding it hard to keep up. i think part of believing that generative writing and art are legitimate mediums is also believing they are and should be treated as though they are separate mediums -- i don't think that there's no skill in these disciplines (like, if someone managed to make writing with chatGPT that wasnt unreadably bad, i would be very fucking impressed!) but they're deeply different skills to the traditional artforms and so imo should be in general judged, presented, published etc. separately.

[mylordshesacactus]

I'm sorry but I have made this post multiple times before and I cannot put it in any smaller words: 

If you expected the ARMY OF GENOCIDE MACHINES FROM DARK SPACE to have a rational and coherent motivation, you may just be bad at narrative comprehension.

The answer to their question was “cyclical genocide”. There is no logic that can make that make sense. It is, genuinely, perfect that at the end of the day the Reapers’ motivations are stupid and deranged. 

They are a broken AI modelled off the broken logic of a megalomaniacal group of eldritch abominations who are, to this day, even after seeing the horror they wrought, incapable of even comprehending the idea that they might have made a mistake--incapable of comprehending the idea that the “lesser races” might have any value, anything to contribute, any worth, any right to not be subjected to this. The Reapers say they’re “beyond our mere mortal comprehension” because they think they’re gods, because their creators thought they were gods.

The logic shouldn’t track. It shouldn’t make sense. And that is not only sensible and narratively coherent, it’s extremely realistic. Surely, surely especially now, seeing what actual AIs do, the things they think are logical, surely you can see this.

The Reapers are the galactic-scale equivalent of an AI art generator that’s told to make a pastoral scene with sheep, and instead doubles down on making increasingly photorealistic oranges because it thinks those are the same thing, except in this metaphor ChatGPT has guns. That’s good writing. That’s the horror of it. They cannot be reasoned with because they are, genuinely, beyond anyone’s comprehension--because their reasoning is utterly divorced from reality.

(The breakdown from a writing standpoint comes with the way the narrative fails to point this out--the way the final choice, even with the extended cut, presents Synthesis as somehow both morally pure (instead of a horrifying violation of literally everyone’s agency) and existentially necessary--not just a way of saving everyone by exploiting the Reapers’ algorithm (which I would accept 100% if it was a purely strategic, this-is-guaranteed-to-work-with-no-casualties option) but as somehow ‘the way to end the cycle’, when you’ve already shown through gameplay that the cycle can be broken through compassion alone.)

But the issue there is in the narrative framing at zero-hour, not--jesus fucking christ, people-- not the fact that the Reapers’ logic is bad. Do you hear yourselves?! Do you understand what you’re implying--that there is in ANY way, ever, a motivation that would make this “make sense”?

The Reapers’ logic was always going to be bad, was meant to be bad, NEEDED to be bad, because no good logic, no sensible motivation, will lead you to fucking genocide.

[aspoonofsugar]

So you said Oshi no Ko is inspired by Monster. How do you think the endings compare?

.

Hi!

Thank you for this ask, I wrote about the comparison between the two series here. As far as the twon endings go, well, I think Monster's is masterful, whereas Oshi No Ko's is mediocre at best. It is not a narrative disaster exactly, but it is not good and since the rest of the story is very well written... well, the drop in quality is felt.

So, let's go with the comparison. First of all, for whoever does not know about Monster (and should) here is a synopsis and a quick foiling between the series and OnK.

NAOKI URASAWA'S MONSTER

Monster is one of Naoki Urasawa's work and a masterpiece to be honest. Here is its premise (spoilers! also read this story, if you have not and disliked Oshi No Ko ending... or in general just read it... it is wonderful).

Kenzo Tenma is a Japanese surgeon working in Germany during the Cold War. He is a prodigy, so his superiors usually assign him the cases of rich and important people. One night he finds himself in front of a choice. A child, Johan, arrives at the hospital with a bullet in the head and some minutes later he is ordered to operate on an influent politician. However, Tenma chooses to make the ethical choice and saves the child. This costs him his career, but he still feels he did the right thing. Some time later both Johan and his traumatized twin sister Nina disappear, just when Tenma's superiors all mysteriously die. As a result, Tenma becomes the head of the clinic and manages the hospital in a way it helps as many people as possible. Still, ten years later Johan comes back into his life and it is revealed that not only he is the one who killed Tenma's superiors, but also that he is a serial killer. Tenma and Nina go through parallel journeys to try to both stop Johan and discover more of the twins' mysterious past. Meanwhile, Tenma's ex Eva and Inspector Lunge look for Tenma for different reasons. Eva wants to both go back together with Tenma and get revenge on him. Lunge believes Tenma is the culprit behind Johan's mysterious streak of murders.

As you can see, there are some similarities with Oshi No Ko:

Monster is the story of a surgeon, who must track down a serial killer whose life he has saved. This monster is one of 2 twins and the story deals with the brother and sister uncovering their past

Oshi No Ko is the story of a doctor, who is murdered and reborn as his favourite idol's child. Together with him there is a twin sister and they must uncover their mothers' past and killer.

In short, in both series there is a pair of twins and a murderer. It is just that in Monster the twins have no memories nor sense of selves, while in Oshi No Ko they have too many memories and baggage.

In both stories, there is a villain (Johan and Kamiki), who is both victim and perpetrator and difficult to understand. This villain is a satanic archetype, who is excellent at manipulating people. He is a serial killer, who reiterates the traumas of his past over and over, out of a sense of emptiness.

Finally, in Monster the characters must uncover the truth behind Johan, while in Oshi No Ko they must find out who Ai really is. The former is about understanding a monster, whereas the latter is about empathizing with a goddess.

Now that we have the basic foiling down, let's try and explore the two endings. Monster's fully explores the theme it set up to explore. Oshi No Ko's instead doesn't. Let's see why.

JOHAN VS AI

Both Monster and Oshi No Ko have a main protagonist (Tenma and Aqua), who is trying to solve a mystery centered on another person (Johan, Ai). As a result, both Johan and Ai find themselves at the centre of the story. Readers keep on reading because they wanna uncover the mystery behind these two characters. Who is really Johan and why did he become a monster? Who is really Ai and what was she lying about?

However, the two series' payoffs are very different.

On the one hand Johan stays the heart of the story from beginning to end. His past is slowly revealed and there are several twists, which add depth to his character, while keeping the mystery strong. Finally, the very last chapter is called "The True Monster" and it offers a final interpretative key to understand Johan. Basically, up until the very end, Johan remains the key character and up until the very end there are things left to discover about him. His story is intertwined and foiled with that of everyone else's. From Tenma to Nina, to Eva to Lunge to Grimmer... everyone is a foil to Johan.

On the other hand Ai stays at the heart of the story up until the arc, which should be about her. The movie arc is where Ai progressively disappears from the narrative. Her role is slowly overtaken by Hikaru and later on Hikaru too disappears, so that Aqua can have his sad pretty boy moment :P. The story sets up a mystery about Ai, but it solves it at the very beginning with the climax of her arc. The story promises more about her, like an exploration of her idea that loving someone is to lie to them. However, when the time comes to explore this mentality, its toxicity and its contradictions are glossed over. Everything is overly simplified, so that there can be cheap twists.

The big reveal about Ai is that she truly loved Hikaru, even if she herself did not fully understand it... However, this was something clear even before it was told. Now this is not bad per se, but for this reveal to have any impact, it should have been built up differently. Ai's love for Hikaru, either good or wrong, should have been explored more and problemitized. For example, it is obvious Ai loves Hikaru when they meet... but would she love him even if she knew he would have turned out a killer? Would she have forgiven him, even if Hikaru had tried to hurt Ruby? Did Ai know it was Hikaru killing her? Or did she not know? A lot could have been done, for example, with the white rose... She could have understood it was Hikaru, if this flower had any particular meaning in their relationship... Actually I was waiting for the flowers to become meaningful, but then they did not. Rather it seems Hikaru started using them as his signature flower after Ai's death.

Not only that, but Ai's own children do not even have to struggle to empathize with her and discover how she felt, Ai herself told them directly. Overall this revelation, which is built up from the beginning ("Will Ai forgive Hikaru or not?") literally means nothing. Aqua isn't conflicted about it, Ruby delivering the line, where she forgives Hikaru in the movie is not even shown. Finally, Ai's feelings do not change Hikaru, nor have any real impact on him. Neither for good nor for worse.

Let's highlight that Monster does have a similar moment, where a character empathizing with another is framed as too little too late:

Here, Nina finally forgives Johan for his crimes. She does so as she is finally able to remember their shared past, to accept it and to accept herself. Her act is first of all an act of self-forgiveness and shows her growth from a traumatized girl focused on revenge into a forgiving and empathetic person, able to embrace the good in the world. It is the climax of her personal arc. However, her forgiveness does not change Johan nor stops him. Johan says it is too late and is ready to either kill or be killed. His line about how "some things can never be amended" refers to both his own crime and Nina's previous refusal of him. He refuses to forgive both himself and Nina. And yet, Nina's choice still matters. In fact, even after Johan refuses her forgiveness she sticks to it and when she gets the chance to let Johan die, she doesn't and insists he must be saved.

Ai's love and forgiveness of Hikaru is instead glossed over, as it is her final wish. Again, this would be fine if it was given any depth. It could have been framed as Aqua and Ruby having to dismiss Ai's final wish as a way to truly live their lives. Not held back by Ai's memory, as painful as it was. A way to let Ai go. Instead nothing of it happens. Ai is in the end nothing more and nothing else than the character so brilliantly summarized by the song "idol". Nothing of which we discover about her comes close to the power of her introduction and death. It is a pity because her relationship with Hikaru, her confused feelings of love and her choice to forgive him (or not) could have been great.

NINA AND JOHAN VS AI AND HIKARU

Nina and Johan are like Ai and Hikaru, as they are an exploration of how different people react to trauma.

Nina represses her bad memories, whereas Johan clings to them. That is the difference between them:

Nina refuses her trauma. She builds an identity that negates everything her trauma represents. She forgets about it all and when she tries to retrieve her lost memories through hypnosis, she tries to strangle her therapist.

Johan embraces both his and Nina's trauma. He builds a self identity that is everything their trauma represents. He is so scared of being nobody that he mistakenly confuses what Nina shares about a traumatic event with his own memories.

So, you see... Nina is a protagonist and Johan is a villain, but the point of their foiling isn't that she is good and that he is bad. Actually, the point is that Nina can be good because she has been relying completely on Johan to protect her. She has been burying her own memories, so that she could depend on Johan's violence to survive. Of course this is not done on purpose and it is a tragic consequence of the twins' tragic childhood. Still, what seems as a very straightforward case of good twin and evil twin turns out to be far more layered and complex.

The same isn't true for Ai and Hikaru. Ai and Hikaru's foiling stems from the fact they are both objectified by others. They are idols, objects of adoration and they resent this situation. They suffer and are unable to forge a real relationship with another person. They literally do not know how because they are both objectified by others, so they objectify others in return. Ai wants to love Hikaru, but is not sure of how to do it. Hikaru ends up idolizing Ai, like others do. This is an interesting premise, which would have been perfect to explore the main theme of objectification and love... except the series doesn't.

The solution of Ai and Hikaru's foiling isn't that you should not idolize others... even if the idea seems to be suggested multiple times throughout the story:

The solution is that there is a positive idolization:

And a negative one:

So, Ai is a good idol because she accepts the love others give her, loves them back and brings them joy.

Hikaru instead is a bad idol because he uses his influence on others to hurt them.

Now, I do not hate this foiling tbh. I think again that with the proper exploration it could have been fascinating. I also think the series never meant to negate the fact entertainment and idols can bring joy, fun and inspire others. Still, you can't introduce a third dimension to your theme (people should not be objectified) and then go back to a white and black vision. It creates a dissonance, if done poorly. And I think here it is so.

NINA AND JOHAN VS RUBY AND AQUA

As explained above, Nina and Johan are a twist on the evil twin and good twin. In particular, Johan willingly acts as Nina’s shadow.

The shadow is everything the person represses and does not want to see about herself. It is a concept that truly fits Nina’s character After all, when we meet her:

She is running away from the darkness and violence of her past.

Nina is determined not to really face her shadow. This is why she represses her memories, tries to kill Johan when she discovers what he has done:

And tries to kill him again after she remembers him as an adult. However, you can't kill your shadow. You can only accept it. Nina does not and symbolically her attempted murder of Johan leads Johan to grow more and more desperate until he spirals completely.

Ruby and Aqua play with light and darkness, as well. In a sense, Aqua does try to act as Ruby's shadow as he is the one who is ready to face darkness and die, so that Ruby can keep on shining brilliantly and live.

By the end Aqua dies for Ruby's life, but in his last moments he wishes to live:

I would not be surprised if Ruby kept on living, despite the darkness she feels inside:

That said, both Ruby and Aqua have a dimension, which is never fully explored:

Aqua and Ruby have moments where they lose the star in their eyes and get the chance to simply be people. However, this dimension is never fully addressed (especially for Ruby) and quickly disappears. Once again the dimension, where idolization can be refused is only brought up briefly and never truly explored.

Finally, both Johan and Nina and Ruby and Aqua have an unhealthy obsession with each other, with some incestuous subtext. Still, this obsession is treated very differently.

Johan sends his sister flowers and tells her "he was born to smother her with flowers". He is also obsessed with her and at one point he crossdress as her (also to confuse the people who are following him). Still, this obsession is presented for what it is: wrong. Not only that, but despite the creepy flower lines, Johan and Nina's relationship is never presented as sexual. Johan is obsessed with Nina and organizes his whole identity around hers... Still, there is no kiss, nor love confession nor attempted rape. The subtext is used in the beginning to convey Johan's obsession and disappears as the story progresses and we get to better understand why Johan is obsessed with Nina.

Aqua and Ruby's incestuous subtext is instead never solved. Personally, I was not so outraged by Ruby having feelings for Sensei, cause I thought it was something she had to overcome in order to grow up tbh. I saw it as a freudian motif, an obsession Ruby would have overcome as she finally leaves Sarina behind and embraces her new life. However, this does not happen. Ruby straight out tells Aqua she loves him and this is never addressed again. Aqua has an inner monologue about how he loves Kana and the person Ruby loves was his past self... But this is not the point. The point of such a plotline, if you wanna insert it, should be that Ruby has to get over Sensei, realizing she never truly fell in love with him... but rather that hers was a simply infatuation. A precocious crush and nothing more. Instead this never happens and ends up being completely irrelevant and taking away time that could have been used for more relevant plotlines.

JOHAN VS HIKARU

Finally, let's talk about Johan and Hikaru. Both characters want to do the same thing: they wanna deconstruct the Freudian Excuse trope:

The writers have a villain, and they want to give that character some depth. The obvious solution is to Pet the Dog. Unfortunately, that tends to make the character less scary, causing Badass Decay and Villain Decay. Instead, writers may keep the villain (especially The Sociopath) just as vile as before, but reveal that they have a reason for being that way. The most popular one is the Freudian Excuse: the villain had an abusive and particularly violent backstory (such as Abusive Parents, being bullied by peers, being raped in the past, etc.), making them insane and warping their perception on the universe, and that's why they're sociopathic Serial Killers going on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge, or why they want to destroy everything out of their misery, or why they're Straw Nihilists who adhere to The Social Darwinist philosophy that it's a Crapsack World where Might Makes Right.

Both are young men, who went through horrible traumas and were turned into monsters. Still, Johan deconstructs this trope successfully imo. Hikaru instead doesn't.

Johan's story keeps on presenting and subverting or deconstructing popular tropes associated to villains:

At one point he says there is a "monster inside of him". Nina takes it at face value and thinks Johan has a double personality. However, this is proven false. It is a simplistic black and white solution to Johan's mystery, which is quickly discarded.

Secondly, Tenma discovers Johan as a child was taken into an abusive environment, where experiments were taken on children, to the point they would lose their humanity and memories. Obviously he believes this is what warped Johan. Except this is not the case... Johan was already a killer when he joined this abusive environment. It obviously had an effect on his psyche, but it is not what "created him".

Thirdly, it is revealed one of the twins witnessed a horrible and violent massacre. Everyone, including Johan himself, believes it was him who saw all this, becoming traumatized. Except it is finally revealed Nina is the one who saw the massacre play out, then she told Johan and eventually repressed this horrible memory. Johan instead made this memory his and tricked himself into believing he had really witnessed the whole thing.

So, Johan's story is one which masterfully deconstructs popular tropes. He was not changed because of one bad day. His self is the resulf of all his life: it stems from his weak lack of self, his and Nina's trauma, his fear of being betrayed by adults and his wish to protect Nina. Everything we discover helps us understand him, sure. However, it does not excuse him because Nina too underwent the same experiences and did not become a murderer (even if she could have).

Every twist does not detract from what we previously knew, but adds to it and it creates a character, who is both a monster and human.

Hikaru is instead reduced to a very cheap "cool motif, still murder". He is introduced as horrible since he is shown killing an actress. Then, he is humanized throughout the movie arc and he is given complexity. Some revelations are potentially interesting... Like the fact he did not willingly kill his rapist (I thought he did) and the idea he did not even mean to kill Ai. However, everything is then sacrificed to turn him into a big bad and a monster. Now, tbh I actually LOVED the twist Hikaru was the final villain. I had found the happy ending very cheap and I thought that this twist was there, so that we could have had a more gray conclusion, with some deep dive into Hikaru's head. An exploration that showed how he was a villain and maybe lost, but also that explained to us his reasoning and showed him as very human.

I would have loved if his confrontation with Aqua and a later confrontation with Ruby could finally wake him up and let him see his children as people, instead than tools to just reiterate his obsession for Ai. Like, I even think Aqua set up the perfect chance for redemption for Hikaru. As in the end, he could have taken the fall for the ONLY crime he did not committed, that is Aqua's attempted murder. So, that he would go to prison leaving Aqua and Ruby to live as they wanted. instead, we have a character, which was presented as complex reduced to a caricature of himself. By the way, if you wanted to show Hikaru was too gone... I think you could have done it... but you can't add complexity to a character and then take it away. If you do so, then you are bound to make people angry.

Again, Monster does successfully present Johan as a monster. He does a lot of horrible things and by the end you, as a reader, do not really have to forgive him. The story even lets enough space for you to wonder if the characters did the right choice into saving him. Moreover, Johan's past does not justify his actions in any way. Still, whatever you might think about Johan morally, you arrive at the end of Monster with the acknowledgement that Johan is a person. Not only that, but the point is that he is a monster PRECISELY because he is a person. It is his humanity, which turns him into a monster. Just like his humanity might help him become a person once again.

SECONDARY CHARACTERS

Without going too deep into this, but Monster has two other main supporting characters, other than the 3 main protagonists (Nina, Tenma and Johan). They are Lunge and Eva. Both of their arcs complement the themes, both are gorgeous, tie into the story and are completed. They advance the plot and subplots, but they are not sacrificed to it. In particular, Eva is a great example of how to take an overused misogynistic trope (the crazy ex-girlfriend) and how to make a wonderful character out of it. Eva is initially a horrible person, she is selfish, a woman-child, obsessive. She is also hurt, lonely and suicidal. As the story goes on she blooms into her self. She spends the majority of her story wanting to get back together with Tenma. And Tenma save her multiple times. However, by the end it is not through Tenma that she changes. She develops thanks to the meeting with another character. And in the end she ends up alone. Her arc is that she needs to stop depending on others and must forge her own life.

In comparison, Kana and Akane start the story as two wonderful characters. They have their own arcs, they tie into the plot and into Aqua's arc. However, they also feel, as if they have their own subplots, as well. Except that by the end, the ball is dropped and both are reduced to pieces of Aqua's harem. Their individual arcs do not matter to the story anymore. The relationship they have with each other, which is set up as extremely important, is left unexplored. Their contribution to the story is that they are both in love with Aqua, but their loves for him are not challenged. Kana is in love with Aqua's mask and never gets to discover the real him. Even if she is set up as his love interest since their first meeting. Akane's love for Aqua is set up as an obsession and a lie, something she needs to overcome, so that she can have a real relationship with him. One rooted in respect and friendship. Still, she is left crying, idolizing Aqua and regretting that they could not have killed Hikaru together. All of this is kind of distasteful imo.

THE ENDING

In general, Oshi No Ko's fake happy ending is Monster's ending, but cheap.

The character set up as the monster (Hikaru/Johan) is given complexity

The main girl (Ruby/Nina) forgives him and symbolically saves him

The main protagonist (Aqua/Tenma) eventually lets go of revenge and in this way he saves himself

The character at the core of the series (Ai/Johan) is finally understood and their mystery is solved in a way that frees the characters

Still, Monster does this in a way, which is real. Nina and Tenma has to struggle with forgiving Johan. Up until the end they are unsure of what their choice will be: murder or forgiveness. Aqua and Ruby's choice to forgive Hikaru is glossed over. It could have been such a cool opportunity especially for Ruby's arc. Where her forgiving Hikaru (her parent) as Ruby might have tied with her forgiving her parents as Sarina. It could have been a way for her to find closure.

However, the author preferred to use all Monster's trope in a cheap way to justify a dark twist and a tragic ending, which is not as powerful for the simple reason the story itself is not written as a tragedy.

It is funny really because often people think tragic ending are more powerful than positive one. More cathartic. And they can be. However, in this case, Monster's positive ending is way deeper and more cathartic than Oshi No Ko's superficial one, which is rooted in shock value.

[yuseirra]

(Probably my final analysis about this guy unless something new comes up) There is a reason why Kamiki must be a god from a thematic perspective.

+prediction: This manga's ending can be really unhinged lol

I haven't encountered any spoilers regarding the ramaining chapters and if I get sent ANY, I WILL block you. No prior warnings. I was too tormented by those earlier. I don't deserve that for having cared for hikaai..(But if I get anything right.. You may o<-<.. Ohh I have so many love-hate relationship w this comic.. I guess I'll be able to get over with this whole nervousness soon one way or the other)

Jotted this down earlier, used machine translator haha ;v;

To elaborate, I think there are two remaining ways to handle this character. One is to treat him delicately (but considering the limited chapters left, this seems almost out of the question; everyone keeps saying he's dead and it's over, and it upsets me. I don’t think that way. I’m not even sure if he’s actually dead, yet everyone seems so certain he is, and it’s depressing. Wouldn't that be a really bad outcome? It’s not about liking the character; it just feels so unfair to both the readers and the character if the story goes in that direction. Just brushing him off as a villain would be too shallow, and I don't think it would make for a good story. But everyone else seems to have given up... Should I give up too? Would the author make such a choice? I’m sorry, but I really don’t think they'd finish this story so sloppily after getting this far. If so, I’d say I could put more effort into writing about him, but I don’t want to speak like this about someone else’s precious work.)

The other option is to treat him as a "fallen god" like the title suggests, glossing over some details. This way, they can maintain some narrative consistency without devoting much chapter space to him. There are actually a lot of hints regarding this (for example, if we assume he actually killed a lot of people, it could explain why no bodies were ever found... Like, we might get a news story in the next chapter about hundreds of bodies being discovered in the mountains because the power that concealed them vanished after his death (which would be terrifying. Then I’d be left baffled & wondering again, what kind of person was Ai really involved with?;; why the heck did the writers make her love such a guy?? I explained how this could work in a way IF he's a god in my earlier posts)).

Looking at the broader scope of the work, if we try to understand what the story is aiming to convey, there’s a clear significance to the character.

If they want to bury several dark aspects of the entertainment industry in him and just decide he is the reason behind it all, then he can't just be an ordinary person.

Seriously, Ai wouldn't have died for this kind of reason if she wasn't a celebrity. Nino and Ryosuke, these deranged individuals, wouldn’t have meddled in her private life and family matters, claiming that she must be the perfect idol, that she can't have a boyfriend or children, chasing her down, and trying to kill her if she weren't one. Many of Ai’s miseries stemmed from her being an idol, where her individuality was not accepted, and this isn’t a problem that can be resolved by simply taking down one madman—it’s connected to societal perceptions. To write this off as being Kamiki’s fault doesn’t even seem possible to me. That's not just simply bad writing, it's irresponsible and harmful. So I don't see the writers making such a choice. They're smart people.

Even if Kamiki harbored resentment after breaking up with his girlfriend, Ai wouldn't have been harmed if she wasn’t a celebrity. Nino even mentioned that Kamiki only talked about Ai. If Ai had been a regular person, what he did probably would have just him reminiscing about her as an ex-girlfriend. Seriously. Does this really make sense for it to believe that Kamiki orchestrated Ai’s murder? There should be a better reason. Otherwise, it’s just Nino and Ryosuke being unhinged, right? Wasn't Kamiki a minor in middle or high school at the time? I doubt he would have directly ordered anyone to kill Ai. Does he seem like someone who would harm Ai deliberately? If that were the case, why wouldn’t he have sought revenge immediately after the breakup? Why wait four whole years? Why? Even if he had anger and resentment (which I believe he did not...this guy never blames Ai.)would die down a lot within that much timespan. Honestly, I have no idea. Considering about the major event at time being Ai's dome concert, I plain think he'd have intended to send flowers through a friend to congratulate her about it, but then the accident happened. Ai’s comment that “our kids are smart and will understand our situation” suggests they weren’t completely out of touch. Maybe Ai told him where she was, which is why he knew about the hospital on her delivery day. Just WHY would he harm her? He's been throwing away his entire life away for a cause related to her for over a decade after she's deceased!! He never wanted to hurt her!!

Going back to the point, if his character isn’t going to be given proper focus (but considering they even brought in a famous voice actor for him, wouldn’t he be more significant than just a side character?), then it would make more sense for him to be a god. That way, he can absorb the societal context surrounding him. Like, he was originally a divine guardian of the entertainment world, but he became corrupted and fell into madness because of humanity. And there are plenty of odd situations and foreshadowing that can only be explained this way... His unique connection with Ai, the intensity of his attachment—it wouldn’t need further explanation, because there’s a narrative that exists beyond the story itself. If he’s treated as just a person, he holds no symbolic value and is merely a broken-minded individual—a mere psychopath. What would that contribute to the story? It shouldn’t go that way. It wasn’t until Chapter 154 that I realized, “Ah... This guy wasn’t supposed to be the culprit.” I just kept following along from there. If the story has a message to convey, it needs to address this. I can see where it's headed, and it’s frustrating, so I just want it to show a bit more! And then they say the story is ending soon. I think the most pressing need for the story now is to resolve its thematic elements.

I can think of about three or four scenarios for how this manga might end. Remember Chapter 156-7 or so, where Aqua and Ruby have that conversation? That chapter is narratively ominous. After reading that, I thought this story might end as a vision flashing before the eyes of two dying people. Like, “You had fun, didn’t you? This kind of life wasn’t so bad, right?” If that chapter is any indication, it’s not impossible that the entire story has been a well-constructed stage, all fiction! That chapter gave me a weird vibe, so I mentioned that the author might craft an ending that over 70% of the readers would dislike in a post once.

If it takes a really bold direction, it could end like that.

Or it could go with a more conventional ending. But this story, since Chapter 1, has been talking about how “everything is fiction, the world is fiction, and it hopes for good lies.” I think something that ties back to that concept will come up at the end.

And the last scenario is an ending that tries to hold onto some deeper meaning (but that doesn’t rule out an Aqua-Ruby flashback ending... lol. They could try to maintain meaning even with that or fulfill Aqua’s dreams of going to medical school and ending up with Kana~~).

Honestly... Even with four chapters left, I’d like them to dedicate like two of them to Kamiki. If we’re talking about liars, he’s as much of a liar as Ai, but he hasn’t been highlighted at all. Is becoming like Ruby supposed to be ideal? I haven’t been convinced of that... If this story wants to say something meaningful about the entertainment industry, it should address the lies required by idols and actors alike.

Wrap up Aqua’s story in one or two chapters, give Kana a happy ending (Kana’s been through a lot in the narrative), even if Aqua and Ruby don’t find happiness, I think Kana should at least find some fulfillment. MEM-cho will do fine, and Akane’s smart, so she’ll be okay.

Kamiki and Ai deserve about half of the remaining focus, thematically speaking. Even if Kamiki ends up being too far gone and deserves to rot in hell, we should at least understand who he really was. Ai’s true feelings were revealed, but Kamiki never got that chance... He never had a real opportunity to be happy, either. To me, he’s more of a person who was pushed to the brink and went mad rather than someone purely evil, so I can’t stop thinking about him. There’s a reason the story was written this way, and I want it to show that. There's someone broken and hit and hurt, but no one's taking responsibility for it. Is that right? Is that what you call justice? I don't think so. It gets on my nerves. I knew that he was a noble soul before they even brought that up. He used to be kind but something pushed him so far. A good story should show what broke him.

The recent chapters have been intriguing but not particularly substantive, mostly dropping hints without much resolution, given the remaining chapters. Can they really tie everything up? I have my doubts.

I just want the story to hold onto its meaning, regardless of the characters’ fates. That’s my hope. For me, this piece is about the message. I really wish it gives out a good one. I’ll keep quiet now; I really hate being wrong—

Did I figure out what this manga is trying to convey? If I have- I hope it goes in that direction. I do have an idea. It’s still possible, after all.

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[devsgames]

On AI-Driven Conversations In Games

The AI gang really shot themselves in the foot by leaning so hard into capitalist exploitation angle, because now whenever they present a use of the tech that is actually moderately interesting the baseline reaction people have to it is just going to be hate because it's associated to AI in any way shape or form.

I mean, obviously I understand why people react this way, because most of the practical applications of AI are just a veil for replacing of labour and increasing profit margins for the executive levels. But I feel like nowadays you'll also just see a lot of people hating an idea because it's implicitly tied to AI in any way, despite the core conceit of the idea actually being fairly interesting. (Remember when Spiderverse used Machine Learning to generate some of it's incredibly labour-intensive frame-by-frame effects and then a bunch of people got mad because it used Machine Learning for that?)

People have been pointing to the use case of "what if you could talk to an NPC in a game and have their reponses generated via AI", and laughing at it like it's the dumbest suggestion ever, but honestly in my opinion I think that's the exact kind of system AI was practically designed for! To me that feels like an excellent application of the tech that is now just marred by the mention of AI in the first place.

Anyway, to ruminate on the concept a bit: I see that use of AI enabling a dev to fill out a world with more NPCs who help it feel more populated, as well as potentially give them incredibly varied responses that are more relevant to the NPCs immediate context of the game. I imagine instead of replacing full-on player choice dialog it would instead replace the throwaway barks of awkward and out of place open-world NPCs who look at you and say "I have nothing to say to you" and giving them something to directly say about your adventure or the context around them instead.

Instead of having the intern narrative designers be forced to write little barks and blurbs like "I have nothing to say" (which I understand narrative folks usually view as grunt work and hate writing in he first place), they'd be writing little prompts for that system instead. End result is when you talk to random farmer NPC #344 outside of town they say "Crop's doing well this year, here's hoping a dragon doesn't attack us" instead of "I've got nothing to say". I think on paper that's a genuinely good and interesting way to improve an antiquated open-world problem like that. Should it be helpful? Probably not. Would it be interesting? No. Would it be a little more flavourful than what we currently have going on? I think so!

It's not an AI shill fever dream, I can see exactly how it would work and I'd bet money that there's a studio doing something like it in R&D right now. I imagine it'd also probably be pretty adaptable between projects too, so the similar system could be applied to different areas of the world.

Should it be trusted to give the player directions or do any sort of leading that a narrative designer should do? Almost certainly not because it would be inconsistent and have too big a possibility window, and AI is nothing if not horrible at performing essential tasks that might block progress.

Should it be done with the tech as it is now? Hell no, unless you want to wait five seconds for every reply to be generated and for it to be tied to some server bank that's guzzling all of Arizona's water. Also it would probably need an internet conncetion to work, which is asking a lot for an open world game.

Should it be done by these studios who are more interested in using it to replace labour and make the end result cheaper to make so they can keep more profits off he top? No, and that's the real reason why the applications of this tech sucks - because spoiler alert they'd all love to save money.

Obviously this concept isn't doable right now, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ships in a game in some form within 5-10 years tops.

Again I get why at this point in capitalism there's almost no applications of machine learning that are easy to trust, nor should we ever believe studios are doing it for any reason outside of trying to make development cheaper. I just think when it comes to tech it's worthwhile to keep execution in mind separate from intent; Tech isn't implicitly evil, it's the system it's built under that is. :)

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 163 - My Thoughts/Analysis

Three chapters before the end. I don’t expect anything more than a horribly written, badly paced mess of a final few chapters by this point, but maybe the manga will surprise me. By being even worse than I’ve come to anticipate.

Interesting way to start off the chapter. We’re back with Goro for some reason? And Sarina after what is likely some surgery? This definitely didn’t actually happen. It almost reeks of a happy “what-if” scenario right here.

The next few panels seem to solidify that. It’s some sort of delusional happy ending for Sarina and Goro. Neither of them were so lucky in their fates so as to almost get everything they wanted.

Sarina recovering and becoming a B-Koamchi idol alongside Ai…it’s cute and all, but I’m more interested in the why this is being shown rather than marvel at this pitiful attempt at moving the reader’s heartstrings. I’d be more willing to engage with the narrative and have more sympathy for everyone involved here except for the fact that all these recent chapters have just eroded my ability to care with some of the worst writing that I’ve seen in a piece of media since the later seasons of Game of Thrones. Actually no, that’s an insult to GoT—at the very least the earlier seasons of that show were actually good, while as much as people harp on about the earlier parts of OnK, that much is mostly because the anime carried its mediocre story.

Is this a dream? And now we’re back with Aqua and Crow Girl. Are we deus ex machena-ing now?

The world is a virtual image created by observation. Not everything is true. It’s like the world looked completely different before and after you were reborn. Crow Girl is Literally Just Saying Words. It’s so unsubstantial that it feels like I’m chewing on air. These words don’t even fucking relate to this entire dream sequence at large!

In the end, who was I? Are we going to finally get the nail in the coffin for people who don’t want to believe that Aqua=Goro?

Was this actually the wrong choice? AQUA YOU LITERALLY HAD TIME TO CONSIDER THIS POSSIBILITY WHEN YOU PLANNED THIS DOUBLE SUICIDE BULLSHIT. If you were hesitant in leaving everyone else behind, you could’ve, you know, not fucking went after Hikaru after Nino was captured? If he feels sad over leaving people behind there are so many ways for him to survive these contrived series of events that I’m sorry, Aqua you’ve done fucked up. He’s had more than enough time to plan out a series of events that doesn’t end with him dying, so Aqua “regretting” that he might’ve caused more trouble with his actions is just so stupid that it kills my suspension of disbelief faster than Goro falling to his death in the first chapter. 

Through reincarnation, you possessed Goro Amamiya’s memories and will [...] however within your body there are genetic factors that were inherited from Ai and Kamiki. Interesting that she doesn’t mention the concept of a soul here, but everything related to Crow Girl is just a nonsensical thematic mess half the time. Considering that she said that Ai’s children were soulless in one of her first appearances I’m surprised that people take these words to mean that Aqua=/= Goro when the rebuttal to that argument is given so early on in the manga.

This entire bit of Crow Girl hugging Aqua and holding his face and such…I dunno. I don’t quite know how to feel about it? What’s with all this sympathy for Aqua when she was sitting on the fence and giving out breadcrumbs to Aqua and Ruby? If she cared enough to stop this scenario she could’ve easily pulled enough strings as a fucking god to save him, since she is Right There to keep Aqua from dying. I would say that it’s almost out of character, but that gives this series too much credit because Crow Girl is more of a plot device rather than an actual character.

The rest of these scenes are nice except they feel too much like throwing a pity party when Everything that came before it was just so shite that this payoff tastes cheap. I’m supposed to feel emotions coming from this scene, but all I can think of is how fucking stupid these last few chapters were if this was the end result of that entire clusterfuck. It doesn’t hit its mark by a long shot. 

That was all of you, Aqua Hoshino. And with that, all that is left is the keychain. I’m sure that Ruby’s going to be holding onto that keychain for dear life alongside Aqua himself soon enough.

That’s it??? There are—were—four chapters in this blasted manga to get through and THIS is one of those chapters??? As heartbreaking and or heartwarming as this chapter was, it could’ve easily been folded into the last one simply because there wasn’t much substance from this chapter or the last! Hell, even putting that aside, with only a handful of chapters left in the series this chapter should’ve been focused on something more substantial rather than deal with character beats that should’ve been very well established beforehand!

Let’s get down to business. Do I think Aqua is going to live after this chapter? My answer hasn’t changed since the last chapter, but I do have more thoughts to give on it now that this chapter’s dropped.

There are only three more chapters left in this bloody series. Three chapters to wrap up the story as we know it so far. As much as I greatly dislike the way Aqua’s revenge plot has panned out, with Hikaru pretty much down for the count as of this chapter, I think plotline that much has been dealt with. That only leaves a couple of loose ends to wrestle with. If the manga is keeping up this breakneck pace to the end, then I do think it’s possible to wrap this whole mess up. It won’t be the best way to do so by a long shot, but it’ll certainly end. There’s just one thing that I think has to be addressed in the span of these final chapters.

An author has a responsibility to wrap up loose threads when a series inevitably gets closer to the ending. While this series has dispensed with many, many small plot threads that have headed nowhere in order to sprint towards the end of the manga, there is one plotline that I believe needs to be dealt with before the series concludes. The issue of Aqua and his love interests. For better or worse, this plotline has defaulted to one of, if not the main hook of the series since the revenge plot has been so shallow throughout a good majority of the series.

There needs to be a clear “winner” for the Aquabowl, so to speak. 

While fans on all sides will point to various chapters and say, Aqua has romantic feelings for Kana, or, Aqua wants to rekindle his relationship with Akane, or Aqua loves Ruby, the sheer fact that multiple of these interpretations exist within the context of the series itself this close to the ending needs to be addressed. Love triangles often soak the reader with intrigue and suspense before being dispensed of later down the line after it has served its narrative purpose. If the series isn’t going to pivot towards an open ending, then that needs to be addressed before the end.

Killing Aqua off here would render all that utterly meaningless. It would be unsatisfying in a way that would forever damn it simply because of the fact that it’s the equivalent of pushing the reader’s face into a plate of shit and the author saying, “Wow! That’s a good ending because it made you feel bad!”, when after such an event the reader would like nothing more than to refund the time investment they had in said media. It’s daft. It’s insulting. It is essentially telling the fans that all of the time they spent with this character and the romance angle—doubly so because of the fact that this little romance angle had little to no plot relevance for the vast majority of the series—was worth less than nothing because Aqua was going to die all along—and he even didn’t die dramatically, either, though maybe that would’ve softened the blow, but he died in a horribly executed confrontation that culminated in a half baked dream sequence where there were more than a handful of ways for him to come out of it alive.

While there are media that can intentionally make an unsatisfying ending work, with how these past few chapters have been, such an ending would likely fall flat for an abundance of reasons—but since we’re just talking hypotheticals, I won’t make any sweeping statements just yet.

Of course, all of this assumes that the authors are, you know, making good narrative decisions. The buckshot pacing and flow of the last ten, twenty, even thirty chapters have just been a complete garbage heap in quality. There are many things I can feel in predicting within a series that’s still ongoing thanks to performing enough media analysis and understanding how stories like OnK are structured as well as the tropes therein.

What I cannot predict are the authors making irrational(read: BAD) decisions and or torching the media and running. It’s why I was so vehemently against the idea that Akane wearing a fucking wig and disguising herself as Ruby to fool Nino. It’s why having both Aqua and Akane independently coming to the conclusion that Yura was murdered was such a surprise to me. It’s why Aqua meeting Crow Girl offscreen wasn’t something that I’d seriously considered before I read that chapter.

These are, quite frankly, objectively bad decisions. I’d made my disdain for these narrative beats known many, many times throughout my various analyses as well as given my reasoning for Why these decisions are bad, so I’m not going to go over them again, but suffice it to say that these are the type of plot beats that high school teachers tell their students what NOT to do. And yet they happened nonetheless.

I can only predict what a competent author that tries to give payoff to the various plot threads in a piece of media can attempt to do next. What I cannot predict, however, is someone who is haphazardly throwing plot threads and beats around like crumbs throughout the manga with little to no intention of following them up satisfyingly or has any desire to actually pace these chapters with any degree of competence. It’s the equivalent of asking a sane person to try to wrap one’s head around the mind of someone that’s on some of the hardest drugs in the world. There’s literally no use in doing so because both parties have fundamentally different thought processes. The fact that this slop is being published must mean that the editors for this literal godforsaken series must be high, drunk, or are being blackmailed. It’s an insult to all of the actual good manga writers out there that don’t even get a speck of popularity that this series has garnered.

That leads me to my next point. It’s also completely possible that Aqua just fucking dies here. It’d be a horrible decision, don’t get me wrong, but it'd be completely on brand for the series which has already made so many poor choices this close to the end. It’d just be one final shit pie to eat after the author cooked a buffet of garbage.

If that’s the case, I’d expect Ruby following Aqua soon after. Sad, I know, but that girl literally made it her mission to kill Hikaru after she found out that Goro was dead and was willing to go to lengths that Aqua just wasn’t in order to get her revenge. Losing the person she cares about most after finding out he was alive all along only for him to fucking die again??? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ruby just walks into the sea after she hears the news.

Completely unsubstantiated thought that just crossed my mind. Calling it now. Aqua and Ruby both die in the next handful of chapters before they reincarnate once more and then meet each other. It’d be almost an inverse of that whole, “two lovers that committed double suicide get reincarnated as twins” Japanese superstition that I’ve seen talked about. That’d be a godawful ending but we’re already scraping the bottom of the bucket with this series. I wouldn’t put it past this series. It is on the table, after all.

Three chapters left. I’ve lost all hopes for a good ending for the series for some time now, so I’m just sitting on the rollercoaster waiting for the ride to finally come to a close.

[marcusrobertobaq]

Why people often confuses Connor's deviancy with Hank's relationship status:

They got similar impacts after a point the story. Usually when the SI goes up are choices that also gonna impact Hank's rep positively. But as u can see they're totally unrelated, not only in the narrative but also the math system.

So, no... Connor doesn't deviate cuz of Hank. That's not true. I believe the devs themselves realized leaving a dialogue implying that would go against what they constructed and also becoming a plot hole when you're outside one specific route (an issue the game got overall).

(deviant Connor about Markus if dude got killed in Crossroads)

According to the narrative there may be 3 main reasons why he can choose deviating:

Amanda AI betrayal, when he also thought he mattered enough for CL to not lie to him (Daniel parallel);

Finding common ground with the deviants story, empathizing with 'em (esp the Tracis);

Realizing he ain't doing "the right thing" by helping the megacorporation to repress androids - he included, as they're using him as just some tool.

As he may have 3 main reasons to choose not deviating:

Believe deviants are extremly dangerous to humans, a threat to the country and to innocent people - and he's the one that can help preventing chaos from happening (CL propaganda);

Believe deviants are no better than "bad" humans he met along the way and that he's the one that can help prevent chaos from happening (CL propaganda + experience);

Fear of failing his mission, his whole purpose and ending up as 100% nothing (not useful) for Amanda - someone he got a level of attachment -, consequently ceasing to exist (dying) in the end (not even destroyed but the existence totally deleted).

In resume Connor's machine vs deviancy clash looks like a mix of doubts/conflicts about the deviancy situation + fear of "death" (ceasing to exist).

According to the narrative Connor's main topic related to Hank, something not impacted about the machine vs deviancy clash, is his worry and empathy towards Hank's trauma: mf's a traffic accident survivor, got a bad relationship with androids "cheating death" due to his own son's death as it's basically an INSULT when all the guy wants is having his kid (kids are quite a relevant topic in Connor's arc btw) back in his arms + the belief an android is responsible for Cole's death in attempt to ease his own sense of guilty.

All dude wants is Hank to overcome this trauma cuz it worsened things like suicidal tendencies and alcoholism - and also his hatred for androids.

Ain't only cuz these personal issues can make his job difficult but also cuz he starts respecting Hank and where mf came from after a point in the game, even if he "hates" the guy's guts.

I'd say Hank's experience alongside Connor in the case witnessing deviants stories confirming his negative opinion on humans made him realize he was being a coward this whole time attacking the wrong people:

and sadly his rep with Connor alone is what decides if the guy finally act upon his bullshit and "uses his suicidal tendencies" to fight for what he think it's right (telling law enforcement to fuck off definitely) or die in cowardice in his own house by his own hand victim of this same issue.

I can't help but say it's again continuation issues as this scene makes no sense when you're outside a very specific route.

A better summary would be: Connor doesn't deviate cuz of Hank, but Hank "deviates" cuz of Connor (due to bad design cuz Connor himself shouldn't be the reason he changes his mind but the whole picture imo).

I believe to fully visualize a character and context in a game like this we need to analyze each variation in the story, not only playing a specific route - the easiest one they call "full best ending", the one the game itself helps u to get - cuz it's easy losing context and also a good part of the character's range of expressions. When u do that u realize the character got a base that won't change doesn't matter how u play.

I'm offering y'all material to work with and go explore yourselves cuz i've been seeing some terrible takes recently and got "where tf is this in the canon bible?". What u gon do with this info ain't my jurisdiction anymore, my mission ends here.

[shoko-komi]

The Komi Report - Communication 460

This week in Komi Can't Communicate:

A Shosuke mystery...

...and an eccentric performance.

Read It: Mangareader Mangakakalot Viz Media Mangadex

Phew... something chunkier to eat after a few lean weeks. It's been so long since we spent time with the little siblings, and now here we are with an apparent Shosuke arc.

I've always loved this group. Hitomi is like Najimi but with a sharp, cunning edge. I think of her as being cheeky in a concerted way where Najimi is cheeky more by impulse. And her relationship with Shosuke puts a cute twist on the Komi/Tadano dynamic: Shosuke can socialize but doesn't want to, and is tormented by friendship being imposed upon him. Importantly, the degree of suffering Shosuke endures has never been much more than inconvenience and a few headaches, so it never becomes sad or annoying. These chapters have always been fun, funny, and light.

Now the classic emoi surprise attack is imminent (assuming the payoff is good).

Important Shosuke lore is dropping but short hair Komi is shrimply too cute. She's stealing the scene.

I feel like went through a similar change around that age

What did Hitomi bribe AI with to get her to be in this?

I take it back, this girl has a flair for theatrics and is clearly in this by choice.

the sketch got a little laugh out of me

he didn't laugh but he did make a way more expressive face than we usually see out him.

girl, breaking boards with your fist isn't a joke alsdknlaksd. They lost track of the point and just started doing a variety show

Laugh? Quarter smile? Internal giggle? These moments happen where Shosuke seems like he's feeling something, but it's always impossible to tell what. Which is the point I suppose, but still

She was totally stalking him to catch him ducking into a secluded alleyway to vent a little chuckle

she's so annoying (high praise)

She probably can't believe her luck. A once in a lifetime opportunity to pry into Shosuke's past....

Alright, let's take bets:

Personally, I think this narrative path has potential. I've become highly skeptical of Oda's choices, and this development is pretty abrupt... but I like it in theory. It's about time this group got some character development.

The sketch portion of the chapter was alright - not especially funny, but fun. And the ending leaves us with a compelling question. What happened in Shosuke's past? We shall see.

Until then, stay safe! I'll see you next time

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

It’s not been a good summer to be a Beowulf scholar, let alone one focusing on Grendel’s Mother

Mariah Dahvana Headley’s “feminist” translation, and later full retelling of, Beowulf are at their best consistently cringeworthy (“Cheugy” being an extremely accurate term here) and at their worst stroll all-too-comfortably into racialized narratives that a white woman (or in at least one especially egregious case, any decent person) should not be writing at all. However, she brought progress to the field, centering the narrative on feminist voices. I myself am white, and having seen BIPOC reviewers adore her books, I previously felt able, if not obliged, to put my personal misgivings aside and appreciate imperfect progress.

Headley, who also published several other successful “feminist re-interpretations” of classical works, has worked closely with Neil Gaiman often over the past year, including co-leading writing classes with him and having him as the lead voice in a mid-quarantine celebrity performance of her Beowulf translation.

She has been silent.

Comic artist and amateur-yet-devoted Beowulf Scholar Zach Weinersmith (he taught his then eight year old daughter to read the original text in Old English) wrote Bea Wolf, a take on Beowulf that was re-imagined for and about modern children, replacing 5th c. mead hall culture with tree houses and nerf battles, Grendel with an angry, rule-obsessed adult neighbor, and most interestingly, death with the inevitable transition out of childhood. In addition, Weinersmith took advantage of the (obviously) non-exact and non-culturally-accurate translation to perfectly preserve the original Old English poetic meter present in the piece. Bea Wolf is a masterclass in creative adaptation, that I recommend to friends and fellow academics alike. At some point within the next year, Weinersmith will publish Bea Wolf’s next installment, continuing the adaptation to cover the conflict with Grendel’s Mother.

Weinersmith also works in speculative sci-fi and futurism. A vocal proponent for the (at the very least) cautious acceptance of AI “as a creative tool”, this summer he shared on social media that he was using AI to “help him” write Bea Wolf pt. 2 - generating lists of alliterations and synonyms when adapting a certain passage of Old English was “too hard”. “To speed things up”, he said. I don’t mean to self-promo here but I gladly would have dropped everything to help. I’m confident in my abilities there. He showed a sample passage that AI “helped” with. It’s bad.

Beowulf studies is a small field. Grendel studies is smaller. Grendel’s Mother studies is, without Headley, virtually nonexistent in terms of published, easily accessible media. Losing two authors, to hypocrisy of values and hypocrisy of art, is devastating. I genuinely do not want to be the only person willing to get creative with this story without bowing to AI, problematic stereotypes and Creepy Old White Men In Power. I know these authors made their own choices, and those choices weren’t good. But this field is too small, too closed-off and non diverse, and too hemmed in by lack of historical context on one side and the alt-right on the other, to afford “bad choices”. This field is starving for young, creative minds, new approaches and diversity of experience. What these authors have done will only isolate us further.

What I feel from this is grief.

[aihoshiino]

After reading the latest chapter, I found it intriguing that right after the panel where Ayumi says that "Back then, Ai was 8 or 9", the next panel has her state that "Ai had grown up to be a woman", despite her being still just a child. No one would call someone that age a grown woman. It's seems like she didn't view her daughter as a child at all (and neither did her creep of a boyfriend) and only saw her as some sort of love rival who's an adult like her even when she wasn't. Ai's mom clearly wasn't fit to be a mother at all since a good mother would've broke up with her boyfriend instead. And even in the way she speaks of herself in this chapter, it's as if she wants Aqua (and the readers) to feel sympathetic. Ayumi truly is an awfully selfish woman and unfortunately she had to be Ai's mother.

anon i literally woke up this morning cooking ayumi meta on exactly this topic in my head and then logged on to see this ask....... you and i shall have a spring wedding

That said, you're right on the money. What I loved so much about the writing of this scene is how intensely real Ayumi feels as a toxic mother. I feel like a lot of people were kind of expecting her to be this over the top cackling Mother Gothel type but like I said in my ch 131 initial writeup, the unfortunate reality is that this is how a lot of abusers look. Like normal ass, regular, pathetic people.

In particular, I really love how deep of an understanding we get of Ayumi's messed up, contradictory headspace just over the course of the four pages we spend with her. She recognizes that she did something terrible and hates herself, but she has surrendered to this sort of self-enforced helplessness with regard to her own issues and fucked up behaviours. She knows that she needs to improve but is self-defeating about her ability to do so and the whole thing turns into a self fulfilling prophecy where she refuses to put in the work because she believes she can't change to begin with but BECAUSE she doesn't put in the work, nothing changes, which reinforces her belief that she can't fix anything so she doesn't try and... you see how the snake starts eating its own tail?

At the same time, though, this surrendering to helplessness is a safety net for her as much as it is a mental trap. By framing her behaviour as something she is powerless to resist or to stop, she essentially frees herself of agency in Ai's abuse and neglect. Being violent towards her daughter is not something she frames as an active choice, but as something she would "wind up" doing, as if by accident or compelled by forces completely out of her control. Not only that, but it allows her to rewrite the narrative for herself with regards to her abandonment of Ai – since she is so helpless to stop her abuse of Ai, the daughter she loves so much, she just had no choice but to stay away. But she was totally going to go pick her up someday, definitely! Never fucking mind that Ai was left there for so long that she aged out of the system before Ayumi ever came back.

It's once Aqua challenges this assertion, though, that the cracks start to form. Though even before that, an attentive reader will obviously have some red flags up – after all, if Ayumi loves her daughter as much as she says she did, then why does Ai describe herself as a person who has never been loved by anyone? At age twelve, no less? That is not even REMOTELY close to a thought a well adjusted and cared for kid should be able to express, let alone sincerely think.

There's always been a theme in Oshi no Ko of Ai being pulled in all directions, in trying to be everything that everybody asked her to be, succeeding and being punished for it anyway. In my CH131 thoughts, I coined the phrase 'adultification' to describe the way adult agency and expectations are enforced on children who are too young as a method of abuse, a direct inverse of the way infantilization happens to adults. Part of the impossible expectations enforced on Ai were having these twin opposing forces of adultification and infantalization inflicted on her in a truly maddening way.

Specific to adultification, though, we over and over see other characters inflict adult agency and sexuality on Ai way before the point that any reasonable person would rationally think to do so. When describing her falling in love, Kaburagi says that her face, which had been that of a child, "turned into a woman's" at a time that we know she can only have been fifteen at the oldest.

45510 seconds this, with the narrator describing how this adultification is inflicted on many young girls in the industry;

"At the time, younger age groups were all the rage, but girls in their formative years could undergo rapid changes as they matured. Once they outgrew that youthful phase, they were evaluated the same way as "ordinary" women."

... only to turn around and do the same thing to Ai:

"Right from the beginning, she exuded a maturity beyond her years, and in the end, she retained a fresh-faced, youthful allure."

With all that in mind, it's not at all a shock that this echoes all the way back in time to the starting point of Ayumi's abuse of Ai. It's reprehensible, but it's also unfortunately deeply real – it is heartbreakingly common for victims of CSA to be blamed for their abuse, as if being victimized by adults is something they have any agency in.

In this instance too, Ayumi distances herself from her own agency and culpability in Ai's abuse. Look at how she frames things and the issues that she centers; it isn't her own insecurity, toxicity and violence that ruined things. It was Ai's beauty. Ai growing into a woman. That she can say such a thing without blinking betrays so clearly that for all she insists she loved her daughter, Ai was never really a child to her. And the moment she realized Ai was attracting the attention of a man, Ayumi didn't see her as a child being victimized but as a woman posing a threat, a romantic and sexual rival who needed to be beaten back into line and shown her place. Even her anger at Ai's stepfather is so, so telling – the framing makes it clear that her anger is not that of a woman raging against someone who posed a threat to their child, but as a woman resenting a man who was unfaithful to her.

For all that she cries and self flagellates, Ayumi basically lays it all out in her own words without even meaning to. She doesn't take responsibility for her own actions, nor does she even really frame them as being central to the chain of abuse that destroyed not just her family but robbed Ai of her life. Even through her tears, she pushes Ai to the forefront while framing her abuse as a thing that just "ended up" happening, that she was powerless to stop. When talking to Aqua about how she can't make amends, the word she uses in the Japanese text is actually 贖罪 – Atonement, the same character used as the chapter's title.

But the thing about atonement is that you can't atone for a sin you don't take responsibility for. And Ayumi makes it heartbreakingly clear that for all her regrets and her pain, she has not come close to taking responsibility for the harm she inflicted on her daughter. And even if she did? It's too late. Ai is gone.

It's just as Akane says. There's nothing here anymore.

[deconstructivesurgery]

I'm on my like tri-monthly random Borderlands fixation tirade tonight, and one of the things I've really got kicking around in my head at the moment isn't a character- but rather, Helios station in its entirety.

A corporate satellite hub orbiting the moon of a major planet, the size of a city or larger- shaped like an H, the pinnacle of egotistical, over-the-top design. Too *good* to grace Elpis or Pandora's surface, keeping a cool professional distance from everything and everyone below it. Allowing the people on-board to monitor the lives of those below on both sides, and to oversee all of Hyperion's endeavors from a distance. Built to give Hyperion express access via moonshot to anything that falls within its Eye's field of vision. If the Eye can see it, Hyperion can send people to it- or annihilate it from a thousand miles away in space.

Hyperion does surveillance really well. It's not something they ever really emphasize throughout the series, to my awareness, but it's fascinating. The first major time we're introduced to the concept of an ECHOeye connected to a Hyperion database, it's through Rhys- a character who can use his eye to see all the bizarrely specific information Hyperion's database has held over the years. Hyperion knows the names, faces, and life details of a stunning amount of people, when you really think about it. (I know this is just because the ECHOeye thing is a fun info-gathering mechanic in Tales, but hey- if I think it's fun to assign it narrative meaning, I'm gonna do it.)

But that's a bit of a tangent. Asides from being an enormous eye in the sky and Hyperion's very own hand of God as far as terrestrial punishment is concerned, it's also fascinating on an internal level.

It's design allows for so many fascinating choices. It isn't a company building alone, it's a city with a PA system. There are rooms you walk into in the lines of the 'H' that are so tall vertically that the endless expanse above you as you walk almost registers to you as the sky. Lines of vegetation- fake or not is anyone's guess- and paved paths make regular hallways feel like courtyards. There are countless windows that face the night sky, and some of them have been given a holographic sheen that makes them resemble a blue sky. People don't commute from Helios to the celestial bodies below on either side- they live here, work here, buy here, and more. There are commercial centers, office districts, laboratories, and more. A person could spend their entire career- hell, their entire life up there, cloistered away from the unruly truth of life on the ground, inventing weapons to fuel the fire of constant conflict outside their company doors. It's fascinatingly huge and terrible, and I wish we'd gotten more time to explore its insides and find out more about what life on Helios really looked like for Hyperion employees.

What we do get that I love is the vaguely haunting (or maybe I'm just way too sentimental) experience of watching Helios rise and fall over the course of a few games. Chronologically, we look up at the sky in TPS and see the half-built skeleton of Helios' limbs, still spindly and unfinished, rattle as the station rains hell onto the moon below. We see it again, finished and pristine in 2- a constant presence on the horizon far above us, completely untouchable from where we stand. Even when we explore it in TPS, Helios feels mostly untouchable. We have to stop the people on it, we know- but we never get the sense that the station itself is fallible or will somehow beget its own destruction. It's as much a part of the Pandoran solar system as anything else.

And then Tales From The Borderlands hits after Jack's death, as we visit what remains of Hyperion in Jack's absence- still putting along in the corporate world despite their retreat from Pandora's surface proper. Nothing's changed much. Nothing does change much, until the Jack AI begets the place's destruction.

Only in that first sequence of TFTBL's Chapter 5 (such an amazing musical sequence, imo, still- I've always loved it) does our perception of Helios as a fixed point in space ever get challenged. Watching it peel up at the corners and spout rubble into Pandora's atmosphere- drawn by the planet's heavier gravity to fall endlessly away from the moon- was enough to make me feel mildly dizzy the first time I saw it. As a pathetically tiny number of safety shuttles make their way away from the collapsing body of a city-satellite down to uncertain fates, we're reminded once again that Helios is an entire city and then some- supporting how many people exactly, who are now being violently spat out into the void of space, or worse, carried down to earth in a flaming wreck? Suddenly this impossibly huge display of corporate self-sufficiency, this giant throne they built in the sky from which to survey the world beneath, seems like a fatally hubristic project. They're not above the violence, chaos, and uncertainty of the world below anymore.

And when all is said and done, its skeleton sits there like a monument to the downfall of an entire corporation- carried to the grave by one man's foiled plans and replaced by a dozen other hungry mouths vying to profit off of intercorporate wars and upheaval. You look up at the moon, or down at Pandora, and feel ever so slightly wrong- like there's a star on the horizon now missing.

In a game series that doesn't often take itself seriously for long enough to deliver meaningful world-altering change as a result of past actions (in a way that isn't hideously underplayed or broken up by irony or a lack of care), Helios is a really subtle major world alteration that means a lot to me. It's a whole corporation we've come to know and despise taken out of orbit for the last time. There's no magical Helios 2. We never see a character turn around and try and make light of the situation with some shitty action-movie quip, or a joke about how 'that could've gone better'. There's just a flaming pile of rubble on the ground where thousands of Hyperion employees died on impact, and the knowledge that the Borderlands corporate sphere has been permanently refaced.

I wish we'd seen more visible change in the world throughout the games like that. It would have been a lot of fun. It's the little things- like a familiar location permanently destroyed, or a character we love dying in a way that actually begets grief and meaningful introspection (rather than just a wuh-oh, they're gone now, what's the next plot point again?) that could have really made the story of these games have a bit more punch. Because it's my opinion that when Borderlands actually *tries* to hit hard, they don't miss quite as often.