#the mere wife

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

It’s not been a good summer to be a Beowulf scholar, let alone one focusing on Grendel’s Mother

Mariah Dahvana Headley’s “feminist” translation, and later full retelling of, Beowulf are at their best consistently cringeworthy (“Cheugy” being an extremely accurate term here) and at their worst stroll all-too-comfortably into racialized narratives that a white woman (or in at least one especially egregious case, any decent person) should not be writing at all. However, she brought progress to the field, centering the narrative on feminist voices. I myself am white, and having seen BIPOC reviewers adore her books, I previously felt able, if not obliged, to put my personal misgivings aside and appreciate imperfect progress.

Headley, who also published several other successful “feminist re-interpretations” of classical works, has worked closely with Neil Gaiman often over the past year, including co-leading writing classes with him and having him as the lead voice in a mid-quarantine celebrity performance of her Beowulf translation.

She has been silent.

Comic artist and amateur-yet-devoted Beowulf Scholar Zach Weinersmith (he taught his then eight year old daughter to read the original text in Old English) wrote Bea Wolf, a take on Beowulf that was re-imagined for and about modern children, replacing 5th c. mead hall culture with tree houses and nerf battles, Grendel with an angry, rule-obsessed adult neighbor, and most interestingly, death with the inevitable transition out of childhood. In addition, Weinersmith took advantage of the (obviously) non-exact and non-culturally-accurate translation to perfectly preserve the original Old English poetic meter present in the piece. Bea Wolf is a masterclass in creative adaptation, that I recommend to friends and fellow academics alike. At some point within the next year, Weinersmith will publish Bea Wolf’s next installment, continuing the adaptation to cover the conflict with Grendel’s Mother.

Weinersmith also works in speculative sci-fi and futurism. A vocal proponent for the (at the very least) cautious acceptance of AI “as a creative tool”, this summer he shared on social media that he was using AI to “help him” write Bea Wolf pt. 2 - generating lists of alliterations and synonyms when adapting a certain passage of Old English was “too hard”. “To speed things up”, he said. I don’t mean to self-promo here but I gladly would have dropped everything to help. I’m confident in my abilities there. He showed a sample passage that AI “helped” with. It’s bad.

Beowulf studies is a small field. Grendel studies is smaller. Grendel’s Mother studies is, without Headley, virtually nonexistent in terms of published, easily accessible media. Losing two authors, to hypocrisy of values and hypocrisy of art, is devastating. I genuinely do not want to be the only person willing to get creative with this story without bowing to AI, problematic stereotypes and Creepy Old White Men In Power. I know these authors made their own choices, and those choices weren’t good. But this field is too small, too closed-off and non diverse, and too hemmed in by lack of historical context on one side and the alt-right on the other, to afford “bad choices”. This field is starving for young, creative minds, new approaches and diversity of experience. What these authors have done will only isolate us further.

What I feel from this is grief.

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

Attempted a gradient sprayed edge!

I had more plans but uhhhh turns out there's no red paint in the house!

[my-own-lilypad]

I left this place forever, but forever is over. Now I'm coming home again.

The Mere Wife

Maria Dahvana Headley

[bookcoversonly]

Title: The Mere Wife | Author: Maria Dahvana Headley | Publisher: MCD (2018)

[somecunttookmyurl]

if you want actual like on god for real actually exist you can see the papyri/tablets very incredibly cute egyptian letters absolutely go read translations of the amarna letters between king amenhotep III and his absolute bestest best friend in the whole wide world king tushratta of mitanni

[fumifooms]

Honestly I wonder if anyone’s ever read Chilchuck’s “I cheated on her” admission as an implicit reference to prioritizing alcohol over his marriage and feeling guilty abt it.

Ohh… "I cheated on her" as a half-truth because something ended up taking priority over their marriage, because emotionally he was elsewhere… "I cheated on her" because after having all the time in the world to think about it now that he’s alone, he realizes that that might have been how she felt, and that’s how it felt like to him too.

Love that. I def think he’s ironically someone who deflects guilt a lot, in a similar way that he compulsively goes "You’re wrong! I don’t care about you guys at all! I’m an asshole!" he flees emotions by making the problem something else that’s fake, a burden easier to bear, he’s so used to being seen for what he’s not after all. I went into it a bit in one of my fics and in a couple meta posts, but when it comes to his wife he was very much like an ostrich with his head in the sand, seeing her fall into a bad mood on the outing before she left him but dismissing it as something "sudden" that’s not worth thinking deeper about. Overdrinking is a problem for future Chil. I think he did a lot of "You want me to drink less and you’re afraid for my health? Get over it lol" and "I should be less strict with the girls and raise my voice less? My father was a strict drunk and look at me, I turned out functional and great! The girls are literally fine and love me" and "Oh? My drinking is affecting our family? No it’s not smh smh get off my back"< Drunk a significant portion of the time he spends at home since he’s off-work and somewhere he can relax. Type of guy to always dismiss any issues that might exists because he prefers ignoring them as if they’ll go away. All his problem solving energy is spent during work and the issue is with his family he already likes things as they are, they’re his comfort zone and change is scary, he doesn’t want the change, even if it’d be better. He doesn’t want to change, his unhealthy habits are guilty pleasures he wishes people didn’t try to make him feel guilty for

BUT POINT IS he struggles with guilt and like. Letting it be a feeling that he gets sometimes, so it’s all bottled up and festers and gets twisted into frustration or such like how his worry usually does. I like this take, wether it’s something he’s already thought a lot about or it’s something he’s repressed that came suddenly pouring out of him like blood out of a wound, now that he’s putting it into words with someone for maybe the first time.

It’s interesting how he didn’t refuse going up to the bicorn, I’m sure part of him wanted to see if it would like him, like the virtue test it is. Would a monster that loves despicable men be magnetized to him? Would it confirm his fears?

[unma]

Thinking about Roland again. Man so powerful he killed the first major and likely most destructive distortion caused by the White Nights and Dark Days. His resulting rampage following said distortion crippled sections of a major finger of the city, and despite never being given the rank himself, he was effective enough that people genuinely thought he was the Black Silence. So effective in that role, it became his in all but name; the game literally has his page as the page of the Black Silence. He goes toe to toe with multiple Color fixers, and while for most of that he had a team, he then proceeds to fight the library on his own, rivalled in solo boss difficulty by perhaps only Xiao. And then he fucking pulls Angela out of the light and kills Argalia. And then he fights with Gebura and Binah against Zena and Baral. Like okay bro, you're an assassin, who gave you the right to fight for so long like it's nobody's business? Especially after taking a multi-phase beat down. Get out.

All this and he calls himself a washed up Grade 9 fixer at the start of the game. Lol. Lmao even. Watch both Gebura and Binah call his lying ass out. "Grade 9 fixer". Shut up. Pathetic wet cat of a man. I love him.

[holybasementdweller]

who do you trust the most? who do you distrust the most?

That's easy!

I don't have to trust they'll have my back, just that I can sort of predict their angle, y'know?

... If I can't trust I know their angle. That's difficult. I don't like blank slates.

[lettucefather]

O, Gabriel. Now dawns thy reckoning, and thy gore shall glisten before the temples of man.

is this anything...

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What's your opinion on malewife/house husband Adrien posts? I asked this to another blog, and like I said to them, I find them a guilty pleasure: The concept is cute, but I know that would be the last thing Adrien would ever wanna be after all his dad put him through.

I don't think that it would be the last thing that Adrien would ever want. I actually think it suits his character in a lot of ways, you just have to handle the topic with care.

First let's talk about why it suits him.

Miraculous has totally failed to give Adrien any sort of career-based passion and - if we ignore the senti complication - I honestly love that for him! I want more characters with no major life ambitions to balance out the Marinettes of the world!

I think that society places way too much pressure and value on finding the perfect career that fulfills us in every way while also allowing us to put food on the table. Most people will never find that and that's okay. It doesn't mean that you've failed or that you're lesser. For most people, the goal is to find a career that pays the bills and that you enjoy enough that you don't hate doing it 40hrs/week. Along similar lines, for most people, your passion will be something that doesn't make money. It will be something like a hobby or spending time with those you love or analyzing badly written French TV shows.

This brings us back to Adrien.

Adrien seems to get a great deal of joy from being around his loved ones and making them happy, so I can absolutely picture him finding a lot of joy in running a home. This is extra true because Marinette is pretty clearly career driven and she's planning to go into a creative field, so she'll probably have a pretty crazy schedule and struggle to stay on top of it all. Having a loving husband to take things like cooking and cleaning off of her plate would be a blessing and a gift that she'd greatly appreciate, but that would feel unbalanced if Adrien was working, too. (Yes, they could hire staff, but that risks the secret identity thing, so I don't see them doing that.)

If they both have power careers, then they'd barely see each other and I hate that for them. I think that it would make Adrien incredibly sad and depressed. Plus, while Marinette thrives off of competition and staying busy, only needing occasional breaks before diving right back in, Adrien seems to hate busy schedules and heavy work loads.

Given all of that, I think that there's a lot to be said for Adrien stepping away from the working world. Especially since he's been in it for years and being a child celebrity is no joke! I think it would be nice for him to escape from strict schedules and expectations. Dinner fails? Order takeout!

While we're on the topic of food, I really like the idea of Adrien falling in love with cooking. Dude needs a creative outlet and that's honestly a great one (I hate it when people write characters as unable to figure out cooking like it's some cute quirk. While an initial struggle is believable, it's not a mystical art that takes years of practice. Between YouTube, the wider Internet, and maybe some classes if he wants to get fancy, I think that he'll be fine.) There's so much variety with what you can do in the kitchen and the end result gets to be shared and appreciated by those you love. It just seems like a perfect fit for him, but I would never make him a professional chef because the hours are insane and the pressure to be perfect is high. I only see him loving it as a hobby where he can go at his own pace, take days off, and make lazy meals when he's not feeling like being a show off.

The big concerns that come with making him a homemaker are a lack of financial independence and a lack of socialization. I don't see the first thing as an issue for Adrien since he comes from a wealthy family, so that one doesn't phase me.

The isolation could very easily be an issue, but it could just as easily be a problem if he started working, too. It's not as if a job is a sure way to have friends or even just consistent positive social interactions, which is another reason why I don't really see a need to give him a traditional job. You can get a vibrant social life in lots of other ways.

Here are the two big things that I keep in mind when writing an Adrien-as-a-homemaker or similar setup as it is where I tend to have Adrien land for all of the above reasons:

Adrien needs to be active in some organization or project. Volunteer work is a good fit as is being an active stay-at-home parent or some combination of the two. Voice acting is also on my radar, but my default is to have him act as the head of team miraculous' out-of-battle activities. Scheduling meet and greets. Going to see sick kids. Jetting around the world for humanitarian aid missions. Basically let Chat Noir be his "career" which gives him a lot of much needed flexibility for making his own schedule, especially if he's a stay-at-home parent to any eventual kids. I also like the poetic nature of Adrien finally being proud to be the face of a "brand" via his hero side while his civilian side becomes just some guy that people kind of remember from old ads.

Consider having a non-traditional living arrangement. I am a big fan of hero teams living together, so my default is to take the Agreste mansion and remodel it into a secret HQ for the team. Adrien and Marinette would have their own apartment/wing/whatever, but they'd still be surrounded by their found family on a near-daily basis, so that social isolation is the last thing on Adrien's mind. There's almost always someone to hang out with! You could also just have Alya and Nino or other friends live in the same apartment building so that they're over a lot/Adrien has a place to hang when Marinette is working late because you know that she'd do that.

Basically, Adrien's rich, so he doesn't need to make money and he doesn't seem to have any interest in a normal job, so I really like letting him having a unique life where he doesn't have a traditional job. He is a superhero, after all. Unique career paths are pretty par for the course. You just have to be careful to make sure that all of this feels like his fully informed and carefully considered choice and not like you forced it on him to make Marinette's life perfect (I only brought her up earlier because this is a story and it makes sense to design characters around each other). I usually do this by sending Adrien to therapy in his late teens or by giving him some other parth of self discovery.

Do note that all of the above is inspired by my read of Adrien which may be totally different from your read of him and that's fine! I just can't picture him as someone who thrives in a traditional career path based on knowing people who strike me as similar to him and from whom I draw my understanding of how to write that part of Adrien's character. I think that he'd be perfectly able to have a traditional career path, but I also think that he'd be pretty miserable for a lot of reasons.

I'll also note that I'm not sure what posts spawned this ask, so there may be elements of those that I'd have criticisms of. This post was about the general concept of Adrien being a homemaker. I tend to avoid the broader fandom for my own sanity and the use of the term "malewife" has me concerned that I'm implying support of something I wouldn't actually support because that's a new one for me and it sounds incredibly sexist.

I'm not a fan of implying that the default definition of "wife" is "submissive homemaker" so a man taking on a homemaking role is clearly submissive and acting like a woman does while his aggressive, domineering wife is acting like a man, which is the definition of this word that I'm finding online and yikes! Wife and husband are legal/social status in my book. They are not clearly defined jobs/roles/personality types, so I'm not a fan of using gendered terms to refer to stuff like this especially since I do actively try to use gender neutral words in my own writing whenever I can, though I'm certainly far from perfect on that front.

I also don't see homemaking as a submissive act. It certainly can be, but that's not how I picture Adrien at all! I picture him as relaxed and plesent, but 100% in charge of the home and all choices about how it's run. I also see him being in charge of their finances like homemakers often were in the "old days" since they were the ones in charge of things like scheduling cleaners, buying food, and other things that needed strong budgeting skills while the person who worked wasn't actually spending money or managing the home since they were at work. I like to think that Nathalie would prep Adrien to be a wealthy man and so he'd have strong skills in finance management.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Gotta hand it (no pun intended) to Grendel's Mother.

Really who is doing it like her. Like you go up to this...Thing... that OVER A CENTURY OF SCHOLARSHIP hasn't be able to determine the species of, she's a human/troll/elf/dark elf/ogress/water spirit/mermaid/wolf mermaid/troll(the other kind)/troll-kin(seriously)/Generic Big Scary Monster/demon/ghost/dragon/shapeshifter/berserker/abstract concept, some people think she's the remnants of an ancient Germanic goddess, the only thing the text is clear about is that she's descended from Cain. she's like a hundred years old. you say "who or what the fuck are you" and she says "you can call me Dana, Jenny Greenteeth or SHE-WARRIOR BRIDE OF HELL, I don't know what I am so fuck you. I only care about one person anywhere ever and its the giant kid that I raised. dont ask who his dad is fuck you. he drinks blood he kills people if you fuck with him I'll kill you. if you fuck with me I'll kill you. I live in a giant secret cave full of treasures under a lake, I'm so fucking shiny, get out of my lake fuck you fuck you fuck you" and she's just the hottest MILF you've ever seen

...god I love her so much!!!

[pubbee]

Mass Effect subtly implying a character is doomed to die every time the ocean or aquatic life is mentioned in any way makes me insane

[my-own-lilypad]

Earth's a thieved place. Everything living needs somewhere to be.

The Mere Wife

Maria Dahvana Headley

[blindmagdalena]

Weird question but does your wife read your fanfiction??

my wife, my queen, my goddess, my sovereign angel does not just read my fanfiction, she proof-reads it for me and leaves cute little comments.

[kotoal1011]

More picrews of us <3

First one || Second one || Third one || Fourth one || Fifth one || Sixth one

[butchgambit]

not to be a hater but the gambit tag has been a nightmare to go through since xmen 97 & dp&wv i hate it here