#Ah well... it was a niche thought anyway

[hephaestuscrew]

Thinking 'If I had a nickel for every time a podcast production company was named after the fictional sinister corporation that plays a major role in their first audio drama, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice' thoughts about Third Sight Media (Greater Boston) and Hartlife NFP (Our Fair City).

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Replenishing the Nonfiction Stack; or, We're Calling the Book Buying Ban a Wash, Officially.

I am not, apparently, immune to coupons for niche nonfiction that's directly up my alley (octopus minds and RUSSIAN OWLS, hello??? Thanks, bookshop!).

I thought perhaps the BURGLAR'S GUIDE would also be covered under said coupon, since it was publisher-specific (alas: it was Not, but we might as well bundle for shipping purposes). And then while I was shopping IRL for gifties I found a copy of ROOM, which has been on my list for...ever? So! Hopefully these will hold me over on the nonfiction front for a minute!

[beargirldick]

Hate being hit by some sort of waking prophetic dream of a fetish and then try and find content of it and its just....none existant or what you search is filled with 100% NOT what you were fantisizing about

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

As my following grows and as I meet more and more people who have rats, had rats, know someone who has/had rats, and love rats...

increasingly I wonder if/when a day will come... a day that I'll express rat enjoyment to someone and they'll enthusiastically ask me if I've heard of This Funnie Little Rodent Blog they like, figuring I may already know it or will enjoy it if not...

and it's.. my blog... and then I have to come out as popular Rat Tumblr blogger that they follow and now know IRL.......

[jenning-fcb]

There's something that really irritates me about the Marauders fandom, I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion or not, but I don't care.

It really bothers me the way y'all talk about fanfic. Sometimes I think some people here forget that fanfics aren't written by professional authors, it's something that someone is writing for fun and that you can read for free. you shouldn't be criticizing them as if they were published books written by professional authors.

You have every right in the world to be reading something and not like it, but do you know what is the right thing to do? Just close the tab and go look for something that you like more. Don't make videos on tik tok talking bad about the story. I'm really impressed by the number of videos talking bad about fanfics, trashing them. Have some shame… I always think that when I go into the comments of this type of video I will find people criticizing this type of stance in the comments, but I never do. The comments are always full of people criticizing other fanfics not mentioned in the video.

just imagine writing a fanfic and posting it for free for others to read, something you wrote just for entertainment, and then opening tik tok and having thousands of people talking bad about you and your writing. and I'm specifically talking about Tik Tok because that's where I see it happening the most and where these videos have the more reach, but I know it also happens on others social media. I don't know if it happens here, but for example on Twitter I know it does.

and I'm speaking as someone who has never experienced this, I've never published any Harry Potter fanfic. lol and I don't see that happening in other fandoms (and also my stories have very little reach, so I don't think it would happen to me).

and another thing that bothers me, which is still within the subject of how this fandom treats fanfic, is that y'all really seem to have lost track of what that word means. the way I see some people talking disdainfully about fanfics that aren't ''very realistic''. buddy, it's FANFIC. Fanfic doesn't have to be realistic. I see a lot of people saying ''Ah, finally a fanfic that treats the 70s in a realistic way'', it's okay if you PREFER the fanfic to be realistic, that's personal taste. But it's not okay to treat fanfics that aren't realistic with disdain. One is not better than the other, being more realistic does not give more merit. Because it's just the author's choice, how they wants the story to be.

I myself prefer fanfics that aren't realistic, because as a lesbian I'm already fed up with homophobia in real life, and this is dealt with in almost every story with LGBTQIA+ people in books, films, etc… at least in fanfic I can pretend it doesn't exist.

again, personal taste is one thing, but thinking that some fanfics are better written than others just because they suit your tastes better its not okay. and treating what you don't like as inferior, with disdain… that's the problem.

Anyway, this outburst ended up getting bigger than I thought it would. lol I don't know if anyone will read this but I just wanted to get it off my chest. and if some parts were confusing, well, im sorry, but english is not my first language. and sometimes it's difficult to express myself.

ah, I'm part of several fandoms, but I only refer to the marauders because it's something I only see happening here. Maybe because it's the biggest fandom I'm part of, as the others are much more niche. but if it happens in other fandoms, have shame too. lol It's not cool for this to happen in any fandom.

[elswing]

i've had the new elf OCs for two seconds and i'm already so attached oh my GOD. camnir!!!!!!!!!!! to be fair we spent a year in mass delusion convinced he was celeborn so i'm predisposed to adoring him but it doesn't help that he turned out to be my dream characterisation of galadriel's nerd house husband. you hear The Wise™ i hear slightly dorky, zero social skills, has at least seventeen highly niche interests that he's the world-renowned expert of purely because no one else in their right mind finds them interesting enough to bother learning about

anyway i doubt the show will explore them since they simply don't have time for fully rounded side characters but that just means i get to invent whole backstories and personalities for them in my head >:}

elrond asking galadriel to pick the warriors for the company implies that he was the one who picked the mapmaker, since a fellow scholar would fall under his expertise whereas the combatants would be galadriel's

WHICH!!!!! means that at the very least he knows camnir and has worked with him before. technically that could also mean they're old friends. study buddies????

i think whatever exclusion elrond went through for being peredhel was less outright scorn and more wariness/stiffness because they just didn't know what to make of him, either because of his biological fuckery or the intimidating presence of his heritage. camnir is completely exempt from this simply because he is too oblivious to follow a social norm

also he just. does not care all that much

he's originally a sindar, but he applied for an apprenticeship in lindon after he'd learned all he could from the mapmakers in eryn galen

he was offered a permanent position there after completing it, but in the early days when he thought his time was limited all he wanted to do was study

he and elrond became friends purely because of how much time they both spent in the library. neither of them spoke much and they didn't interact outside of it due to their interests and studies encompassing different areas, but eventually they both settled on the same table and spent many nights in quiet company

he's a little awkward and doesn't interact well with the noldorin elves, and though they view him as a bit of an oddity, most of them chalked it up to "ah, well, he's sindar. maybe that's normal where he's from"

it is not. he loves his home and his people, and like them he is very attuned to nature and loves passing time with wildlife or in the forests. he did not, however, inherit their love for festivities, as he found them horribly loud and the constant movement made him nervous. he mislikes the unpredictability of them

this is also why he was so drawn to mapmaking. he likes the precision and focus they require to draw, and one of the only times he can find inner quiet is when he's making those calculations

he also has a great love of botany. he spent most of his younger years with his nose buried in a book, reading about the plantlife that could be found beyond eriador's borders

he used to enjoy babbling about his findings to his younger sister when she was a baby, or to their grandparents who raised them after they were orphaned in the war

they were happy to indulge him, but if all else failed he would go into the forest and talk to the trees instead

he's very young compared to the other elves in the company, and the only one without much experience in combat. they took one look at him and unanimously went 🫵 baby. baby brother

camnir was fully aware from the start that he was out of his depth, so he asked the others to teach him some fighting manoeuvres.

daemor suggested archery, as he might benefit from a longer range weapon while he was too inexperienced for close combat. unfortunately his aim was comically bad and rían was forced to ban him from coming within three feet of a bow after he accidentally fired three (3) arrows that missed their marks so badly they almost skewered elrond

(elrond was so focused on glaring suspiciously at galadriel & nenya that he didn't notice)

they also had to remind him multiple times not to wander into rían's path while she was wielding a bow just because he wanted a closer look at an interesting patch of moss

he DID prove to be adept at wielding a knife, so vorohil entrusted him with one of his own

he grew very fond of daemor after discovering his love of singing. camnir taught him some drinking songs he remembered from his youth, and daemor spent most of their night-time treks humming them

he was very sad when he died. being shot at and then magically healed disorientated him at first, but the only thing that successfully soothed him was when they promised to stop and give daemor a small funeral ceremony

him, vorohil and rían definitely survive the siege of eregion and go on to help elrond build imladris btw. they reside there all the way through to the third age. no one gets boromir'd full of arrows or written off or dies off-screen. Btw.

[mbgcreates]

Under the Mistletoe

Word count: 1481

A/N: You know what, sure, I'll put this one here. Also, THIS WON'T BE SITTING FOR ANOTHER YEAR!! This was started about two years ago, and I only just finished it 😅 enjoy! Remember, reblogs > likes! Thank you!

Dark is…nervous.

It's been a long time since he's felt this way; the closest he can recall is when Wilford gets overly trigger-happy at the worst of times and jeopardizes his plans, or when the man has one of his memory spells. But this…

Dark glances at the mistletoe hanging from the doorframe of his office, visible only from the inside. It’s been… Well, in another lifetime, he had attempted this tradition before and succeeded a few times, although he was much more nervous then than he is currently. Besides, times have changed. He’s a different man, now. One that he thought wasn’t so capable of something like “nervousness.” Do you even like him enough that this will work—

Nonetheless, he requested some time ago that you come to his office at your earliest convenience. He knows you won’t ignore it, because he hardly ever invites you there. If he does, it must be important. As this is. As you are.

He cannot focus on his paperwork in the interim. Instead of a refuge, it feels like an overwhelming mountain, stretching up almost indefinitely. He's not even sure why he has so much of it, a creature of the void as he is, but somehow, Wilford’s very existence comes with paperwork. The other egos cause headaches, but typically not paperwork. Not often, anyway.

And you. Somehow, you’ve managed to fit in with the craziness that is this revolving door of oddballs. It took time, but you’ve carved out your own niche, and the more aggressive of the bunch eventually stopped antagonizing you. Wilford, as was his wont, took you “under his wing,” which largely meant you’d run around doing increasingly inane errands until Dark had to step in. You weren’t built for that, after all. It was the first time he saw anything that wasn’t (fear) concern in your eyes when looking at him.

Dark sighs and shuffles some papers around. The dark wood of his desk pokes through, matched by the dreary wallpaper, black bookshelves with equally desaturated books, and dark wood flooring. It's like it's bearing down on him, suffocating him in his anxiousness instead of being a comfort. After the day he stepped in, you slowly began to spend a bit more time with him around the manor, and he found himself missing your presence on some days when you weren’t around.

Your footsteps announce your arrival far in advance, his supernatural hearing better than a human’s, and he actually has to take a deep breath to calm himself. In all honesty, the nerves wouldn't be that bad, but for him? Anything more than a little is too much.

He had discovered by way of accidentally overhearing that, despite appearances, you enjoyed the little things, especially the little romantic things. It was strange, to consider such concepts after so long, to let the idea germinate in his mind until an idea bloomed. An idea that he is still second-guessing until this very moment. He pretends to keep working until you rap on the door frame. "Dark? You asked to see me?"

"Ah, you're here." He shuffles the papers again, this time into a neat stack, acting as if everything is normal and you didn’t somehow borderline startle him. “I almost believed you wouldn’t show.”

You both know he said this on purpose; just another jab he can’t help but say. A deflection, now, habitual and not fully meant. You huff half-heartedly. “As if I wouldn’t. Can I come in?”

“Not quite yet.” He knows the anxiousness isn't evident (you’ve never seemed to notice before), but his reply is still rather quick. “We can have a discussion with you over there.”

You roll your eyes. Dark doesn't notice, too caught up in not looking at you. “Sure, real personal discussion. What even did you want to talk with me about?”

“You have been living here for quite some time now, and it looks like you will be here for quite some time longer.” His desk is tidied much too soon for his liking. “I take it everything is still satisfactory?”

“Well, yeah, I suppose so,” you reply, obviously confused. “Wilford is still…Wilford.”

“That he is. And that he will continue to be.” He’s forced to finally look up, and seeing you underneath the mistletoe is like something out of a dream: unreal. Too good to be true. Dark makes himself stand up, palms pressed firmly against the desk as if to steady himself. “If you have more trouble with him, or with anyone else, you know where to find me.”

“Oh, okay, thanks…?”

“I do think Wilford isn’t fully utilizing your talents, but he doesn’t always listen to me.” Dark finds his feet taking him forward, towards you.

“Really? You think so?” There’s a tinge of surprise in your voice, but it’s a good surprise. You didn’t think he would notice, he suspects.

“Yes. And with the days you spend in my office, we could figure out some way to harness and hone them. Maybe then, he’ll listen.”

“I mean, is it really a good idea to get in his way?”

The corner of Dark’s mouth twitches as he stops in front of you. You’re so…short, compared to him. “Well, of all people, I would be the best candidate.”

Amusement flickers into your eyes, and it makes you look that much lovelier. “I suppose you’re right. But still…”

“My dear, I think you should…aim higher. Look higher.” When you just blink at him, not picking up on his odd hint, he points upwards, towards the lintel. Your brows twitch in confusion, but you follow where he points. Your eyes catch the sprig of mistletoe, and he watches your expression as the gears turn in your mind, everything clicking into place. You look back at him in disbelief, and whether you’re aware of it or not, your cheeks are tinged with the beginnings of a blush. It makes him want to do this even more. Still, the words are not easy to say, tongue heavy in his mouth. “May I?”

You nod almost dumbly after a moment, and he brings his hand up to cup your face. It is of immense relief that you don’t recoil. If his heart still worked, it would be beating out of his chest. As it is, he can hear yours doing exactly that. It picks up as he closes the gap between you.

Dark brushes his lips against yours, the barest of touches, almost as if he's asking for permission again. When you don't pull away, he kisses you properly, surprisingly soft and chaste. (You didn't think he had it in him.) It’s over far too soon, and when he pulls back, your eyes flutter open to find him studying you. The moment is delicate, just the sound of your breathing as his eyes search yours and time seems to stretch into infinity. 

All you do is lean forward a little, and you seem to fall into each other, his lips meeting yours again, this time with a bit of urgency. You, instead of retreating, accept it, pressing towards him and tentatively lifting your own hand to his cheek. The reassurance flooding Dark is immediate, prompting him to bring your body closer to him. You inhale sharply in surprise, but again don’t move away, relaxing in his embrace. 

Despite the kissing lasting longer than expected, you removing your lips from his still happens much too quickly. Your face is fully flushed, now; he wonders if his cheeks convey the same.

Your voice is soft; one might call it breathless. “You had the discussion…just for that?”

“Well, I had to get you here somehow.” There’s a ghost of a toothy grin for a moment, before his face softens—actually softens, if but a little. “And I meant everything I said.”

Your eyes dart away, sheepish. “Oh…thanks…”

“How do you feel about dinner?”

Those were not words Dark expected out of his mouth, and nor did you, by the way your head whips back up toward him. “Dinner? We eat dinner at the manor all the time.”

“You know what I meant.” A genuine, small smile graces his face. “Just you and me.”

“Y-yeah.” You bite at your lip; he hears your heart rate jump up again. “That sounds…great. When?”

“Tonight, as long as everything goes according to plan.”

You give a small nod, then nod again, more definitively. “Yeah. Sounds good to me.”

“Splendid.” Dark kisses your forehead, then releases you. His arms already feel empty without you there. “I will come get you when everything is ready. I’ll see you later, darling.”

Darling. Something else that just slipped out. But it feels…right, to borrow that from the past. And, with the way you look at him after it, eyes shining with something he cannot yet fully place, perhaps he will keep calling you “darling.” And, maybe soon, his darling.

[pocketramblr]

Ask Game: Manuel brutally but accidentally kills All For One for good.

You have clocked my niche perfectly

1- "how the heck does that happen" well, during the Hosu chaos when it's all going very badly, another hero (mostly underestimating how much an asset Manual the Water Guy is at fighting fires) tells him to focus on finding his student and getting Izuku evacuated. Obviously Izuku will not evacuate, but he will get Manual to Tenya faster. So now there's two teenagers and the most chill pro hero in an alleyway fighting Stain, while Tomura and Kurogiri watch. And Tomura "fan of heroes with no merch" either recognizes Manual and knows he doesn't want to risk an actual pro ruining his fun with Stain, or doesn't recognize him and finds that even more suspicious as he has no clue what power level this npc is at. So while Manuel is trying to first aid Tenya and Native (oh yeah I guess there's a second pro in the alley too lol) while Izuku keeps Stain occupied and gets backup, he's also trying to figure out the Nomu thing. And then kurogiri appears, and Tenya yells because he recognizes him, but he can't move to shove Manual out of the way of the warp.

2- Manual is dropped in a very spooky lab with more nomu and some faceless creep on a throne. Manual does not judge the faceless thing, whatever some people look different. He does, however, Judge His Vibe. This guy clocked murderous intent from a teenager he barely saw on tv before it even happened, he Just Knows this guy is bad news. And in charge of the LoV, clearly, since Shigaraki didn't make sense as a leader and Stain just seemed mad about it. But Manual is also careful, and does not act on his vibe checks without further investigation. So he asks the suited creep "oh my god, are you the one that made the Nomu? Like the villain factory five years ago?" And AfO is just so pleased to be recognized as such a threat and confirms this, wondering what quirk he's about to steal from Manual.

And then Manual uses his quirk, and well, there's a lot of water in the Nomu labs. In the Nomu tanks. Running through the building, through AfO's medical equipment.

A lot of water.

3- Without the life-support equipment and half drowned, it is really really easy for Manual to hit him on the back of the head with a broken bit of pipe. This was not supposed to kill him- Manual saw a shape moving and thought it would not do much against a nomu, plus AfO is supposed to have a million quirks but- ah well. He's super dead now. And Manual is also surrounded by half finished nomu, also fairly dead now. And he's got to find the exit.

4- when Manual radios in that he's been warped under the Jakku hospital during the league attack in Hosu and he needs hero backup, now, he didn't expect all the backup he'd get. But all the heroes in Jakku were watching the news in Hosu and feeling useless, so they rush over and well. There's not much for them to do but cleanup nomu stuff and file reports. Manual appreciates the support anyway. And the blanket a nurse got him, and a coffee. And that everyone lets him focus on updates from Hosu, almost dropping his phone in relief that Stain has been taken in and the three -why are there three? There were two when he left!- teenagers are fine. The heroes offer to get him a ride to Hosu asap, but Manual stands up, pauses, and goes "wait, what about the mole? AfO had to have people working for him in this hospital to keep a lab like that under cover, right?"

5- with that terrifying thought, the Jakku heroes rush him out faster so they can figure that out, and Manual is on a train to Hosu. Once he gets closer to the city and two train switches later, he finds himself alone in the car with a tall, thin blond man. He knows the guy has to have some hero connection, because they were literally the only two people allowed on this train right now but he does not expect the guy to take a phone call, anxiously ask about a kid, get cut off, start swearing profusely in English, and then repeat "All For One? Are you sure????" about a dozen times before demanding around the clock watch until he can get there, and hanging up. The guy goes "Manual, huh?"

Manual looks up and answers, thinking he's being addressed, and the blond guy realizes it's him, and suddenly he's All Might and All Might is thanking Manual, bowing low. And that's just too much for Manual after the stressful week he's had. He passes out.

[fourswords]

ezlo... the grumpy grandpa ever...

i was going to respond to this with a list of quotes from him that really show how he's the grumpiest grandpa ever but then i remembered this one quote from him that goes:

"There are some strange creatures on Mount Crenel… Creatures I've never seen before, and your sword alone won't beat them! Don't give up hope, though! Try your other items on them! Well…you don't need me to tell you how to do your job. Just deal with those monsters, and I'll take care of everything else."

i think the "Well...you don't need me to tell you how to do your job" is funny and interesting in equal measure because it's such a stark contrast from other companions for links who were on the younger side (think oot link with navi and ww link with the king of red lions) at the time whose purposes were definitely more aligned with, at the very least, helping link to do his job as a hero (navi with z-targeting, the king of red lions with helping link get around and also kind of. manipulating him into becoming The Hero™). but ezlo is canonically fucking clueless about damn near everything that doesn't involve his niche realm of being a "famous minish sage" who is "renowned for his amazing creations" (according to his figurine description). like:

"A strange nut that will allow us to understand the Minish language… The Jingle Nut, did he say…? No, wait… That's not it… Ah, I remember now! It was the Jabber Nut. That's what it was… Come on, my boy! We've got to find the Jabber Nut!"

"Have you ever visited Hyrule before? What? You have? …What's it like? Not that I… I mean, I've seen it before! Of course I have! I'm very well traveled. I just wanted to see…what you thought of it!"

"So! We must infuse the White Sword with the elemental power. That means we must find the elemental sanctuary. And the way we do that is… Um… Well, I'm sure we'll figure it out!"

"So there are three books that we're supposed to return, right? Link, I'm sure you can handle it! Don't get me wrong! I'd love to help! But I'm a great Minish sage! I don't understand your big, human ways! So…I'm counting on you!"

there are a BUNCH more examples but you get my point. i just think it's really, really funny that out of the few companions that younger links had at that point in time, it's in the minish cap that said companion is like "ehhhhh i don't need to tell him what to do he's smart enough to deal with it himself. he just needs to be yelled at to stop dawdling and GET A FUCKING MOVE ON sometimes." which is also kind of exemplified by this line of ezlo's near the end of the game, too:

"We will get through this! We have all of the techniques and power you've gained in your journey! And we have your wisdom and courage as well! Link! I believe in you!"

it says a lot that he attributes not only courage to link but wisdom as well. link has so so so so so SO much personality in this game and between his own flavor text/internal dialogue when interacting with things and ezlo's running commentary on link's attitude/words/expressions/reactions to things it's SO plain to see (ex: "Link, I know this may not be a great time for it, but... I wanted to say thanks for everything you've done. I'm very grateful for-- Hm? What? You're freaked out? You're not used to me being nice!? Fine, then! Forget I said anything!"/"You're so energetic all the time… Not that I'm saying you're hyperactive or anything! I meant it as a compliment! Like…you've got a special talent for being WAY too peppy or something."). and i love it so much. it's also exemplified by this line of dialogue which is absolutely hilarious to me:

"Do you have to ask me about every single little thing?! Just figure it out for yourself, you big baby!"

anyway. for the sake of not going on a 500-year tangent about how ezlo is my number one favorite companion and the hero of the minish is my number one favorite link and how much i adore all the dialogue in it. i'll end it here. <3

BUT ALSO FUN FACT DID YOU KNOW THAT LINK ACTUALLY CANONICALLY DIDN'T BELIEVE IN THE MINISH PRIOR TO THE MINISH CAP:

"So, where in the library would any Minish folk live, anyway? Maybe those people who say the Minish exist "only in stories" might be right! Hey! Link! What's that look for? Don't tell me you were one of…them? You're kidding me! You're wearing a Minish person on your head, you oaf! I certainly hope you believe in us now!"

[s-awturn]

I'm thinking about writing the F1 Dilfs as protagonists of a monster romance (because I'm obsessed with this niche of literature and I think it fits very well), However, I will work on something focused on daddy issues dynamics, anyway, I'm thinking thoughts out loud

‘ah but I didn’t want to read that sawturn’

✨now go read✨

[faorism]

niche crossover of the day that im too lazy rn to clean up and post to ao3 but may in the future: alec hardison (leverage) plays bg3

hardison balances playtime with hacker hours well, which means he moves through hyperfixations but has learned through working with the crew how to prioritize when there's a friend's life on the line. (there will be no more repeats of his crew sitting on a bomb without him right next to them.) sometimes though his partners lose him for a week after a new release, but now that they live together at least parker can drag him to bed for cuddles (and to sleep) and eliot will kept him fed.

it should go without saying that hardison loves baulder's gate 3. he heard such good things about it during early access from his dnd buddies, but hardison refuses to play EA because he will end up encountering bugs and basically writing the code that the devs will end up doing anyway, so why waste his time.

he plays without any prior knowledge, doesn't even know the characters really except from glimpses at their promo pics. but he's excited. he downloads the game, kisses his partners """goodbye""" for the foreseeable future (as long as a job doesnt spring up, but even then it would be a quick one because eliot sprained his ankle and needed to rest it no matter how much he complained he was good).

he decides to play his chaotic good halfling wizard mendula from two campaigns back - fresh enough in his mind to remember the character, but not too recent so that he wont feel conflicted if the tav storyline doesnt allow for precise oc characterizations. hardison gets super into it, but he doesnt linger on side quests, not yet: he wants to get a feel of the game without mods and follow its arc. hardison doesnt usually romance on a first playthrough, but wyll!!!!! wyll was right there being perfect and beautiful and righteous and black and bi and yeah, hardison had to fan himself off during the dance sequence

his party is wizard tav, shadowheart, wyll, and lae'zel, and barely switches them out. when astarion drains him dry and kills him, hardison is so annoyed he kills astarion. he feels very proud of himself when he sniped wyll's devil karlach without much fuss. then he skips a lot of the companion sidequests because he just wants to rush to the end. he gets married to wyll, then starts right over and plays wyll origin, now able to take his time and understanding the mechanics of the game. he also downloads QOL mods that have already come out for EA, and he has notes about ones he will make if no one else does when he's ready for playthrough #3. he purposefully avoids any major ones (so no Polyam Mod for him, though he does eye it, but he wants to see how multiple romances play himself).

he plays will as accurately as possible, which means engaging heavily with the very companions hardison spent ignoring because wyll? wyll cares (and fuck, hardison loves him for that because yes yes, that's him too!). and......

ah. okay so. maybe hardison shouldn't have ignored the companions so much since they do add a lot to the game! and..... maybe, just maybe, hardison was too hasty killing astarion and karlach the first go around. maybe a lot. he thought they would be companions for evil tavs/origins only! he played kotor and [insert game references here, i dont play games like this usually...], so he thought he knew what was up.

anyway, he is drawn so much to these two out of the novelty of them that he puts them into his party (the fourth spot he switches around, thought once hardison gets him, halsin is a fun mainstay because BEAR. hardison gets up romancing both astarion and karlach (and a little halsin, HALSIN IS SO EASY TO FLIRT WITH, larian WANTS you to fuck him)

and....... okay. okay. maybe romancing them both at the same time was a mistake because. because he loves them both. so much. for very different reasons. hardison feels so deeply and then he's forced to make a decision, and hardison crumples a bit. considers downloading the polyam mod but opts out of it to suffer vanilla game logic to its very end.

when he breaks up with astarion, who plays it so damn cool, hardison had to walk away from the computer to mourn by burying himself in his nearest partner's arms (eliot, this time).

he finishes the game, makes wyll go to avernus with karlach (as he made them do during this tav playthrough) and... thinks about astarion.

hardison had carried over the breakup scene save this whole time, and he decides fuck it, and goes back and tries it the other way this time.

he didnt know karlach will just... die on the pier. wtf. wtf. or wyll will go and there wont be any interaction with astarion?? hardison is Distraught. he downloads the polyam mod and while it doesnt force the issue, he can just feel at the edges that nope, this isnt authentic

finds partner's arms again. parker this time. she asks whats wrong with his make believe people, and he pauses for so long that parker thinks he fell asleep or didnt hear her, and then he quietly says that wyll has a heart big enough for two, a romance can be fairytale when made for three, dont they know there's nothing more beautiful than being held between by both the people you love?

parker kisses his temple as tears legit well in his eyes (and he feels embarrassed) and she yells for eliot for emergency group hugs.

eliot, with hardison squished between his two partners, usually doesnt get involved with hardison's gaming but this time he's just like, okay what is it about these characters that's getting to you like this? and why them together? who are they?

and hardison had already talked about wyll a little because disney prince. so he reiterates some of that with a major case of projection. and then when he turns to talk about the companions, hardison stops. and just.

oh.

a black man who was forced to make impossible desperate choices when he was still a teen, which got him into trouble as a consequence, and then being alone and wandering for years until he ran into a pack of different people come together for a common purpose. trying to be good, the best he could be, and hiding behind a flashy name to hide some of the more raw parts underneath. ravenguard and nana have strikingly similar cheekbones.

then theres a rogue with a deeply traumatic past who can be selfish and kinda insensitive and likes shiny things. a pale thief who likes a little bit of chaos even when running good alignment, and who can't help sticky fingers reaching for unsuspecting belts and also... well, also is a top, through and through. a top who likes to bite. vicious when upset. also... also touch adverse and who at first laughs at sincerity and then basks in it but only once your commitment is fully and well established. the only bit of code hardison wrote as he played his wyll origin was to remove astarion saying dont touch me when you switch to him; hardison flinched every time, hearing the cadence of parker's voice scratching at him when she's triggered.

then, a barbarian who handed from one handler (who ended up being a totalitarian dick) down the road until being owned by the literal devil. body put through hell, scars littering a body that spells strength at a distance. once escaped from the nightmare, only wanted their own perseverance. their own life. wanting so desperately for a touch, to be loved, to be held in a way that didn't spell murder. "heartless" after years of working for, again, literal devils, but so full of life and kindness and (also eliot is more coy about it) a deep sense of joy for the world. kind to children. protective of children. wary of deals too good to be true. willing to die than return to a life they once lived. death feels imminent, despite the protestations of everyone around them. really good bedroom eyes.

so.

yeah.

maybe... maybe

hardison couldnt get the words out to say all of that. all he says is, they're a lot like us. (like with astarion, if hardison spelled out the exact overlaps of the characters.)

the games dumb then, parker says. or at least broken. if the game isnt right, just go fix it?

and hardison has protests about the limits of what is possible within someone else's game and...

parker is like, you made a guy hold up a bank in like, 10 min? on a laptop with spotty internet and without a mouse or any preparation?

and this takes some time between other projects he really has to get to, but.... he does it. codes like a motherfucker and bribes eliot & parker into mocap and also genuinely pays the VAs to voice lines for him. shit hardison does for the love of his ot3:

script out unique banter for karlach and astarion in your party that hints of their attraction to one another

code in an extra option when astarion or karlach confront you for to prompt them to consider their own feelings for the other (different from the current but i want to be with you both! line)

a short nighttime cutscene that with dialogue that implies the three have just finished talking and have agreed to be together. they are all holding hands

include astarion and karlach in each other's act iii scenes (they arent the most chatty, admittedly, but they are there and integrated)

outside of camp, if you three are standing near each other, you can cast a spell that cuts to astarion and karlach kissing either of wyll's checks (this is admittedly somewhat buggy but!

edits out astarion cowering on the pier from the sun, just rushes the three to avernus which hardison doesnt have to edit; just uses astarion origin version for wyll.

nexusmods community begs desperately for him to do this for some other ot3s and he is willing to hear them out for shadowheart/lae'zel/tav, he absolutely refuses to break up karwyllstarion and only offers wyll pov. will not even allow for edits being made for a tav/karlach/astarion mod. he deeply pisses off some people, but overall this mod is downloaded a fuckton as the only truly viable polyam romance option in the game. people start writing fanfic specifically for this one mod and eventually it is just integrated into canon lore that karwyllstarion exists as an option

[allylikethecat]

Hi Ally!!! How are you? How’s your day been?

Girl I was STRUGGLING today I think I’ve built a caffeine tolerance because I had two energy drinks and was yawning ALL. DAY. Anyway, I think I’ll take a caffeine break and hopefully my celsius will work its magic again haha

ATKH: the update was wonderful I’m always rooting for Fictional!Matty and George in every fic but this fictional!Matty to not immediately forgive and/or beg for Fictional!George back.. I’m so sad for our sweet Matty because I’m sure he’s trying so so hard to not disappoint everyone and do good at the competition but the fact that he’s SELLING SALLY and MOVING BACK HOME??? I really hope we get to see how this is going down from Mattys pov and I need both George and Mattys reactions povs in the next chapter because GEORGE IS SURPRISING MATTY IN PERSON??? (I hope Matty punches him lol not really but maybe) 😭

MWFD: I’m also so sad for this fictional!Matty too :(. I’m happy he’s decided to work on self healing to be a good parent and I hope he can do it with George in his corner as well. I can’t wait for the other guys in the story to come back hopefully and everyone talks and everyone is happy (if that’s the path this story takes) I just wanna say again that I love this fic sm and I had never read mpreg before because I never thought it would be something I was into. Soooo infinite kudos to you for writing this I’m so glad I found it!!!

Talk shop Tuesday!

What’s does Infection!Verse George and Mattys wedding look like? Do they elope and have it be private and quick? Did they go all out and have a wedding? How would that work w the best man situation? Who asked Ross and who asked Adam to be their bestmans?

Which side of the bed do your George and Matties sleep on?

🥤

AHHH Hello My Dearest Smoothie Anon!! As always it is an absolute joy to hear from you!! I'm sorry to hear that today was a struggle 😭 I think I would actually cry if my Celsius stopped working... with how early I have to wake up to ride Pop before it gets too hot it is sometimes the only thing getting me through the day 😭 I hope tomorrow is better!!

ATKH: Poor Fictional!Matty he really tried his best and just couldn't get a break. He's trying SO HARD at the show, he doesn't want to disappoint anyone but he really is crumbling emotionally and physically. He's hit his breaking point and even though it's absolutely destroying him, horses are expensive and he doesn't know what else to do - Sally deserves more than he can provide at the moment and he needs to go crawl back to his father and regroup LOL sometimes I wonder if I should write a few one shots / a prequel of this universe from Fictional!Matty's POV but I know this fic is super niche so the fact that anyone is reading it in the first place is wild to me (and I feel like I can only have one super niche self indulgent fic at a time and em... I have another one of those in the works...) BUT AH Fictional!George is flying to Canada, we will see how Fictional!Matty feels about his arrival...

Ducklings: AHHH thank you so much for giving this fic a chance, especially if mpreg isn't your usual thing! Hey, Fictional!Matty might be really sad at the moment BUT at this point it can only go up from here right? Everyone knows now... which means Fictional!Matty (and everyone else...) can focus on healing! It's really gotten away form me and has turned into much more of a beast than anticipated and I'm so grateful for everyone that has stuck with it (and me!!) I hope you continue to enjoy how it all unfolds!

Talk Shop Tuesday: They have a small wedding, close friends and family (minus most of Fictional!George's family) only! It was very them. Fictional!Matty was slightly hungover after getting drunk the night before and showing up at Fictional!George's hotel room door sobbing that Fictional!George needs to leave while he still can, before it becomes official. Fictional!George obviously just tucks Fictional!Matty into bed because he's never leaving Fictional!Matty again if he can help it. Fictional!Hann originally stood with Fictional!Matty and Fictional!Ross originally stood with Fictional!George but because this is a fictional wedding and rules don't have to apply they switched halfway through. WOW this is making me really want to write the wedding oneshot...

I feel like I answered this already before a while ago but I can't find it or remember what I said 💀 BUT they don't necessarily have *sides* but rather Fictional!George sleeps closest to the door so that if someone where to break in he would be in the way to protect fictional!Matty. Fictional!Matty doesn't realize THAT'S why fictional!George always insists on sleeping closest to the door... he thought it was so he couldn't sneak out.

Thank you SO MUCH for sending me this ask, and for reading and for the continued support and being so all around wonderful!! I always smile so wide when I see you in my inbox!! I'm so grateful that you take the time out of your day to not only read my fics but to send me these kind of wonderful asks, just thank you SO MUCH. I hope the rest of your week goes better than today did, and that you're able to get some rest!

❤️Ally

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

out of your character’s motifs, what are your favorite and least favorite to draw?

HMM really good question id say a lot of like. my favoritism comes down to "whats easiest to represent without having to give it too much thought?" in which case. sun motif numero uno. stuff like ulises' grids and olzhas' harlequin print are also just very easy to draw over and over again because theyre just simple geometric tessellations and i usually get into a rhythm with them especially if its in the case of background details or embellishments in lineart when i dont have to worry too much about keeping outlines clean looking....

special mention to my friend demeter also because i think i was very smart for like. mixing the circular sweeps of starry night into cigarette smoke i think it does a lot for their design and helps that aspect of their motif feel way more expansive than just "ah its meteors". another really easy repetitive pattern that my hands can easily fall into as well.... its fun

for the least favorite though hmmmm. ok honestly not even that i despise drawing it i think its cute and im glad its cemented into my mind as The Isel Bird but isel's bobolink motif is a nightmare to incorporate into like. different outfits solely because theres barely any pictures of what the back of these guys looks like. i always have to trawl through youtube videos of someones backyard to figure out the gold and white distributions. absolute fucking nightmare the things i do for this guy. at least he looks cool for it.

completely unrelated but i just found this image while looking for the upper one i dont even know where to begin with this. send me another ask to unlock the isel poster dream lore i guess

ANYWAY. back to the question. uhhh for similar reasons its a bit annoying drawing mazin's moth motif in pictures because its a pain in the ass to find good angles or "poses" of bugs. i usually just wing it (heh) until it looks right and it ends up fine though so eh.

hmmm marjolaine's dna motif is also a bit too niche retrospectively imo though its not really a problem? its mostly just that i want to look into more like. specific dna iconography and how i could draw it in a cool way aside from just repeating helix patterns

[nadekofannumber1]

Nadeko only likes retro games but retro is a constantly shifting status that encompasses more games with time under the label as technology changes, one’s perception of what counts as retro can be partially locked to what year you were born, the PS2 and n64 is something some people would easily consider retro but others believe it’s only anything backwards from the famicon, many could firmly believe that the Atari era is where the retro limit ends.

The year monogatari takes place is non specific because it’s technically should be 2006-2007 but it’s always written as if it takes place in the current year, technically turning several monogatari characters into zoomers but not always shifting a characters traits sense, by getting sent into the future kanbaru becomes more technologically illiterate.

Other characters in a sense don’t need to make that change like araragi who’s always been a loner who kept away from all social including media. Hitagi adapts easily like she’s always done this connecting easily. Higasa entering her Twitter era doesn’t cause any issues as she became more prominent in later arcs instead of earlier arcs. Final example being Sodachi, who was introduced in an even later arc than Higasa but isn’t good with technology due to her past and present.

All these examples show that how a character adapts is partially dependent on how it fits into existing character details but will change if it fits the narrative. Nadeko clearly likes famicon era games but with the shifting era would Nisio consider it to be retro enough to superimpose it on to their character? I’d think he’d at least vauge about it (as he’s known to do), like:

————————————

Its interesting to set up my consoles in my new apartment, I couldn’t bring much but I wanted at least a few to play.

I thought this TV might be too new for a console this old but really all I needed was an adapter and all was well.

Ononoki chan showing up at my door with the cord was weirdly convenient. Maybe I mentioned it earlier.

Yotsugi leans over my shoulder to look at “Bats and Terry” (1987) for the Famicon.

Laying her head into the crook of my neck like a cat she says,

“It has less shapes than I remember.”

“Ah, that must be because it’s not on a CRT tv.”

Those really were more ideal.

“The box oneesan played it on was different I tell ya.”

“Hmm,

If not CRT or LCD then what?”

“It’s nothin complicated Nade-chan, I just watched tha’ show on an ipad.”

Ah, what a critical failure of assessment.

“Well I guess this one is too niche for a remake, I’m not really a modern gamer so it works out fine.”

“No this game is definitely modern.”

“Huh?”

“There’s nothing more topical and modern than this, ‘tennis for two is innovative even now’.”

“Those games are even beyond retro they’re over 50 years old!”

“But they’re derivative, nothing is more retro than the old ball and stick.”

“You mean the ball and sword?”

“Perhaps but jitsu tsuki ball came first.”

“Ah, are you perhaps thinking about RaRa Chan? I getsu.”

“Oh dear, you art right, I derived too much, I may even go back to the tree. Perhaps more is retro than I thought, good thinking Nadeko Chan.”

She nodded sagely, snugging closer she said.

“Finding what makes something retro is an arduous task ain’t it.”

She’s really sliding around accents for this bit,

“I suppose that it would depend on what you were born wouldn’t it?”

“What year were you even born?”

“Hmm, I didn’t give it in otori right? I suppose it’s-“

“Bzzzt!” She states, making an X over my face with her arms.

I hear myself die in game, I’m entirely bewildered.

“What was!-“

“You can’t state the year the story won’t make sense otherwise.”

This kind of meta break didn’t require me dying…

“Deepest apologies Nade-San… I’m sorry for this character break, I’ll do anything for forgiveness.”

….

I don’t have much to say to that since she just does that anyway.

…

It’s rather shameless.

“Well if the year is 20XX shouldn’t I be born in uhh…”

Wait this might not make sense,

no I thought it was 19XX, but!

“You’re better than 19XX, not that IQ means anything.”

What does that even mean, is that an English pun?

Batsubatsu is more a sound at that point isn’t it?

“It’s the reiwa era so shouldn’t I be born in 20XX and it be 20XX at this point?”

“Terrybatsu is an interesting way to look at it.”

That was terribaltsu,

“Similarly shouldn’t 100 be closer than 20?”

“I suppose but we aren’t really grilling with it.”

Let’s put that aside

“Teori might be closer than toori to terry.”

I was never good at language

“I wouldnt want to refer to that chicken when even thinking about about batsuterry, I’d rather grill him.”

“Tari for Tori?”

“I’d gatekeep him that hard, yes.”

This is decoying the point by now,

“It’s a neo era not a retro era, so maybe it’s time to consider consoles others grew up with as retro by this point.”

Hmm, really I’d say that:

“Fantasizing about the past is hard, huh. It’s strange to look at the past in a way.”

“The 1980s don’t exist anymore, not even for batsu. I guess it’s came closer to yasu than batsu, baseball goes beyond batsu even.”

But for batsu and terry shouldn’t it be baseball and not banana?

“It’s bananas I tell ya!”

…..

I suppose this is the punchline in a way.

Or maybe the opposite of one, a batsu-d batsu.

————————————

I wanted to be semi authentic with this so I tried to add puns that don’t translate, puns that do, and an extended bit about concepts of translations that don’t fully work

I’m writing this before I actually finish writing down everything so let’s see how much ends up applying

I use an amount of gorowase because I thought it might work

026 (rei-to-ro) retro

20(ni-o) neo

82(ba-tsu)

89(ya-kyu) word for baseball

83(ya-su) word for useless

87(ba-nana) banana

84(ya-shi) palm tree

And for my “gorowase that don’t actually work or don’t think work”:

19(i-kyu) a joke about IQ ( the pronunciation of I isn’t “eye” but “e” like “ichi”)

20(too-rei) a bad pronounciation of terry for a bit that doesn’t entirely work but also toori is a Japanese word that as toori ni roughly refers to “in a similar way”

100(ta-rei) also a joke on the pronunciation tare is also a general term for sauces that go with grilled food

Yakyu is a Japanese word for baseball

Jitsu getsu ball: is one of the earliest versions of bilboquet (ball and small tree) and translates to sun and moon ball roughly and I think that just puns nicely to the alt reading, getsu also sounds like get you

Otori means decoy

CRT: is used as shorthand for critical in table top games and their spiritual successors rpgs

A CRT tv is an old style of television that has a lot of interesting differences from the modern lcd screen but for the sake of the bit at the beginning, what nadeko was referring to was the better definition of older games, if you see how retro games looked on CRT tvs vs how they look on modern LCD screens there’s a good amount of difference, many swore old video games looked better in their childhood and there’s actually a decent chance they did since these games were built for that specific TV, if anything I highly recommend looking at comparisons and seeing just how different many looked, while old games were pixelated it’s important to consider why sprites look like that and it makes some parts of the aesthetic make more sense, the lcd versions of retro experience is kind of dishonest in a sense as the tv would literally smooth out edges and preform effects that don’t translate well, while crt shaders do exist many times it’s not totally accurate as it’s an emulation of the base function of a television that worked entirely differently so its something to consider. Anyway nadeko is a retro otaku and would totally have this information

Outside of that I ran with the reading of “X” being batsu, which can Be thought of as the word bats (in either sense), batsu as incorrect or penalty, as epilogue/postscript, batusbun being afterword, clique, or even circumstance.

Bats and terry: classic shonen baseball manga with an old game, works for the bit about bl astonishingly well it’s anime and game came out in 1987 so it’s in nadeko’s gamer range, plus I can run my bit about Kendama with my ball and stick bit

I don’t mention teo the magic planet fin fin solely for the bit bc Im really into the history of pet games and knowing more about pet games but nadeko would probably not, the genre was started by the night trap guy with the technology that would be used to make the funny streamer game facade (which he also made), dogz (1995) game of all time, if tamagotchi is retro so is this because it literally predates it, but nadeko isn’t a pet games person probably. This was a considered pun and I’m leaving in the blurb bc it’s my post

Teori (tadatsuru) is mentioned for the bit on names to pluck and to caress and holds a casually meaningless phonetic resemblance to terry

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e14 plucky pennywhistle's magic menagerie (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

(from the recap) i love baby sam's "and apparently clowns kill!" response to dean's "planes crash" phobia justification

oh is this a christmas episode? aired in february. ok

DEAN I hope he finds something quick. This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese.

that's some kind of expression

SAM So, we got dick on Dick? DEAN That's a vivid way of putting it.

--

SAM ...I might have found something over in Kansas. DEAN All right, well, let's do it. But, uh, a few simple rules, okay? No babies. SAM smiles. DEAN In fact, no baby mamas. No bars. No booze – no hot chicks of any kind. SAM Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say – DEAN Hey. You spawn a monster baby, see how quick you want to dive back in the pool.

no booze? yeah right, my dude. gotta sell that fake beer brand

the sideburns heard me and staged a comeback

DEAN Plucky's. Why does that sound familiar? NANNY Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie? Pizza chain for kids. Actually, more for lazy parents.

was that a, "ah yes now i remember dad dumping us there" moment or what. is this the clown phobia origin story?

yo, this reminds me of my favorite book when i was like, middle schoolish age, sphere by michael crichton. i wrote him a letter for a project asking about the ending of the book. sadly, did not get a response. anyway. manifested thoughts/fears after you went inside it. a giant squid was involved. childhood fear from 20,000 leagues under the sea. does entering the chuck e cheese knockoff do it

ok.

oh, so it wasn't dad dumping them there, it was dean!

SAM (on phone) Uh, you would dump me and go trolling for chicks. DEAN (on phone) It's not like I left you in jail. I mean, those places are supposed to be fun. SAM (on phone) Fun? Uh, they're lame. And they smell like puke. And the ice cream is all grainy.

still ridiculous but cute. i will take lighthearted bickering and teasing any way i can get it. and padalecki's over the top acting seriously freaked out and nervous while also pretty nonsensical, i will take

alSO. retroactively irritated about calling a place like this for "lazy parents". i have 3 kids (they're 9, 7 and 5 years old) and hoo boy. non-parents being judgey about parenting lol

here's a niche one, another because i've seen it so many times i remember person. very small part on the killing

the killing s2e5 jennifer spence as eve

insufferable perky child self, wouldn't think he was all "i don't know why i'm doing anything anymore" last episode

DEAN Cops have a theory? SAM Yeah, they think the ball washer did it. DEAN The what? SAM The... ball washer. DEAN [smiling] The what? SAM The ball – SAM holds up his hands in frustration.

--

DEAN "Shark Week," man. How do you not watch that? SAM walks away. DEAN Whole week of sharks.

shark week is another thing i've seen enough in fic and assumed it was fanon :) the canon is so plentiful, don't even need fanon

cringing my way through this over the top goofy plucky's employee interrogation sequence.

dean/jackles laughing is so sincere like he couldn't get out the line, adorable. terribly endearing this whole interaction. reminds me when dean was trying to convince himself he was having more fun being with cas and no sam

from s5e3 free to be you and me: CASTIEL What's so funny? DEAN Oh, nothing. Whoo. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. It's been more than a long time. Years.

lot of good brother moments this episode and mild to moderate cringing. i'll take it

[baldbae-tele]

Dirty Thirty

It is four days until the big 30. I suppose I should be experiencing a degree of excitement ... Another day in the land of the living! Yes there is gratitude, but there is something else. There is a grave deal of disappointment and self critique. It has been crawling up my neck and stifling me. And the reminders and reprimands continue to flood in.

At 9-10 years old, I was certain that my dream job was to be a Carib girl, I had practiced the dance in front of the television with my aunty Kathy for every West Indies cricket match... "Go T&T, Show them what you've got....Go T&T, show them what you've got!" I felt like I was well equipped after all of these practices and well on my way with Aunty Kathy as coach...By 20 I would be in a gear to fulfill this childhood dream...but unfortunately, this never came to fruition. I realised that maybe I did not want to be a Carib girl anymore.

By 12-15 I was going to be a lawyer...The entire basis of this decision was that I like to argue...Thus, I would be the perfect fit for the profession because of course, there is no other basis to law beyond the ability to argue. LOL. By 25 I would have my own law practice and win all of my cases....Again wishful thinking.

When I got to university at 17 years old, to study Business Management, with an intended emphasis in Marketing...armed with my Procter and Gamble.... because obviously is that is the marketing bible. During Cape I trekked with that everywhere all over my high school. It was so bad my teacher used to borrow my textbook as reference for class. I was one of those students... YES.

Anyways...I clearly did none of those things...Flash forward, to returning to Trinidad and Tobago and finally finding my niche. I determined Psychology was what I really wanted to do with my life. After serving as a Resident Assistant in University, and dealing with many instances of youth crisis, I recognised that this was what I wanted to do...No NEEDED to work with people... I have always had a passion for people, in particular young people. I finally felt at peace at making this discovery. There...the decision was made. I was going to do my Masters in psychology which I started in September of 2019. The following year the pandemic hit... negatively impacting many things related to school. An experience which the world was never prepared for...

By 2020 is when the self critique began to rear its ugly head. I started to feel like I was choked and bound by own criticisms. With only a thesis left to defend, which had to be postponed due to illness, much to my displeasure because, "Ah just want to done!" I became very unforgiving and have been failing to offer myself grace.

I have adopted the following thought points:

Why it is you taking so long to figure out yuh damn life?

At 30 you were supposed to be married with an established career?

You have disappointed your family because you supposedly had so much promise.

What is wrong with you?

People often speak about the wrongs of comparing yourself to others. However, we need to have conversations around comparison to self...to our potential or perceived potential. This may be an even more toxic practice.

And there is something about 30 that makes us feel like we are running out of time...That we old. I assume that the four grey hairs I have managed to develop over the past few months may contribute to this....WAY DEY COME OUT FROM?

For this realisation and this reason...I have determined that 30 will be a year of forgiveness and grace. I have decided on allowing myself the opportunity to thrive as opposed to setting unrealistic deadlines for myself. I have decided to celebrate my wins and take the failings as a lesson. I have decided to cherish moments, and not hold them to my chest so that I cannot move past them.

I am determined to achieve my goals...but I am determined to release the timeline.