#Again i thank you for your critic but do not assume someones english is first or not

[cconfusedkat]

so something about your post on internet safety with this whole thing with the drama, you say stuff on like how to stay safe and stuff but then proceed to say that your taking a break bc your overshared?? like how does that work; you talk about not oversharing and yet you do and say ‘i’m prob gonna delete the app and take a break’ or something like that. genuinely how does that make since and also you say something about blocking people you don’t want to talk to, have you blocked airis? but in all truthfulness your cyber bullying a minor, your an adult and you should know better. not that i’m siding with anyone here im just wondering. and also possibly lying about not having good english isn’t a good idea, i may not know you but ive seen enough of your posts to know that you have some pretty good english, i dont know what’s happening in your personal life but on here you have some pretty good English and grammar. some of those words are really big for someone who has bad english, example, ‘Self deprecation’ and also blaming the your ‘bad english’ for something is just down right stupid.

like cool, there’s drama but just because your an adult doesn’t mean you can cyberbully people and get away with it. lets be real, you can drop what ever drama this is and quite literally forget about it. I’m being real here and lets be honest your not. (still not siding with anyone) i know airis said things they probably shouldn’t have and so have you, not to be rude or anything but you need to drop it.

yes, i know things here repeat a few times but that’s because i need to get my point across, you can ignore this if you want but honestly what’s happening between you and airis is messed up and it should stop before it turns into something that it shouldn’t.

also it’s extremely stupid all of this started because YOU got mad at them for venting, they didn’t ask for your opinion. i get that you had one but you could keep it to yourself. airis was venting to people they wanted to vent to that are in the fandom and she wanted to make aware. you could’ve kept to yourself and not said anything but you had to go put your nose into peoples business and start drama for no reason. YOU picked apart they’re vent just to start something.

you need to get some responsibility through your tiny adult brain and actually start acting like one. it’s so stupid how i know kids, literal children who act more adult than you and your what? 19? and you may think ‘oh well i’m only a year into adulthood, i’m still really a teenager’ well your not, where im from you can be held accountable for your actions, which your not doing. your getting so much support from people, which you don’t need because your not the one person who’s mentally health has been messed up from this. if anything airis needs more support than you do but no. everyone is taking your side for no reason, it’s just really stupid. how your getting support for the drama you started because you couldn’t keep YOURSELF in your own business.

You are right, I will admit, as I could've left it alone, however i still felt as it was important to point out some things 🫠 you do not know me ,and it is pretty bold of you to assume good grammar = first language English...? Thats my only complaint ill make here but ill take it as a compliment supposedly

and if its genuinely cyberbullying, then thank you for pointing this out against me, usually no one really points out the critics of another side so im glad you could point that out- my words tried not to mean harm, but if they truly did, then i can delete the posts involved and drop it all

I will not post about it any further, i know it has caused enough damage and i dont wish to put any further harm on aigis, you can hold me accountable for that as well

And i deleted that post a couple mins after (the oversharing thing( cuz i gen didnt think it was a good idea to keep up 😭 im shocked anyone saw that,, youre right on that

i will prevent saying anything else, this gave me a reality check and i am thankful for that, i often get heated and distracted so i know ive said a lot of hypocritical things already,, i have kept them blocked and i wont push anything further

I agree that aigis should have support i will not deny that either, im sorry

[sincerely-sofie]

hello! i apologize for adding to the list of religion related asks in your inbox and, as this is another form of criticism you can ignore it, im mostly an enjoyer of your work and ive merely found a discrepancy.

i just think its important to point out that the people you end up surrounding yourself with and the people that a community deems to be one of their own, IF this is your experience which i am not Assuming but rather Pointing To as a debate starter of sorts, is not in fact the group at large.

its factual that many, Many people have been abused by the church, inside and ouside of it, by many people and in many ways, and the number of people harassed by christians, especially ones in positions of power in churches but also the commonfolk, is incredibly high. much higher than it would be if it were just a vocal minority, because then its doubtful that it would be so widespread, but especially that it would be so Personal, crimes done to people by people in particular they thought they could trust.

i am not telling you to disbelieve yourself or that there are hidden horrors in your community, but trying to bring a possible unawareness to light. if this is unwarranted or undesired and you dont wish to make any public response you can delete this ask, absolutely 0 hard feelings i wont say anything else.

love your work, have a nice day, bring more joy into the universe as you try to

Hey, thanks for this ask! Discrepancies and blind spots are a difficult thing for people to rid themselves of alone, so your reaching out to help with something you were worried about is appreciated. This is all a fair bit stressful and new for me— I've never really talked about my faith before now— but once again, I figured a public response is better than the alternative. Thanks for saying you enjoy my work. I appreciate your well wishes. And your English is absolutely wonderful, don't worry about it!

For context, I've previously said that the vast majority of Christians are loving people and that there's an unfortunate vocal minority of cruel individuals. First off: people absolutely have suffered abuse at the hands of Christians, especially Christians in positions of authority, and their suffering should never be diminished or dismissed. My church takes a pretty intense stance on abuse— anyone who misuses their influence over someone is going to answer to God for it, church leaders are to report any abuse they learn of to the proper authorities and help protect against future abuse, and the general membership are expected to do everything we can to prevent abuse and to defend and help the victims. 

I'm of the opinion that Christianity (or at least my specific denomination— I'm not educated enough to speak with authority on the state of each individual branch of Christianity, and I think that some churches are, to put it lightly, more prone to hateful behavior than others) is largely populated by kind and loving people. Again, that isn't to diminish the experiences of those who have suffered abuse— they've gone through horrible things that truly happened and shouldn't be brushed aside. My belief in abuse being done by a minority is mainly rooted in the vastness of the Christian population and my belief that people have an inherent goodness rooted in them. 

Pulling from some statistics I found on Google (which may be inaccurate, so don't quote me on this!), there are about 2.3 billion Christians out of the 8 billion people in the world. For a majority of Christians to be cruel and abusive, I would need to believe (forgive my bad math here, I'm not the best with this stuff) that at least 1 person out of every 8 people I meet is cruel and abusive. I don't think that's how the world works, and haven't seen any research to change my mind, so I don't believe that. 

What I do believe is that people who want to hurt people will find ways to hurt people, especially when they can find ways to excuse their injustice with religion, being a senior member of a family, or similar garbage— and that with such a great population of the world being Christian, you'll hear a lot of instances of abuse being done by Christians. Like I said previously— certain denominations are prone to abusive behavior. This is absolutely undeniable. But my lived experience as well as personal research has indicated to me that they and the individual bad actors don't make up the majority of Christians, even if they make the most appearances on the news. 

Thanks again for the ask and your concern. This is my personal understanding of things, and if you disagree, you're fully in your rights to! I've definitely skimmed over things here— no person is 100% good or 100% evil, and my efforts to be brief definitely haven't helped the subtlety that needs to go into discussions of morality in groups. But I wanted to explain my perspective. It really comes down to the math of things for me. I don't think that even 1 in 10 people is remotely unkind, let alone over 1 in 8 being willing to abuse others. I hope that I've made myself clear in a polite way— it's hard to have these kinds of discussions in writing! I've tried my best though, and I hope it comes across in this.

[monasatlantis]

Kuro 2 Review – Interview Style Part 1

A while ago I finished Kuro 2 with the Englisch Fan-Translation-Patch. (That I am really grateful for. Guys, I am also stull grateful for the Spreadsheet that allowed me to play Hajimari and Kuro 1 in advance but it is so much easier with a Patch instead… I loved it! Thanks to whoever made it!) Which means it is now time for my final review of the game.

[Just for your information: I legally bought the game on Steam]

(As per usual, I might write another Review or add something to this one, after the official English translation is out, but we will see if it is really necessary.)

Obviously, SPOILER! (Possible not just for Kuro 1 and 2 bus also for the rest of the Trails Saga.) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Once again, the review will be done Interview Style

1.  You’ve watched a lets play of the game in Japanese first, what was your first impression after you finished watching it?

My first impression was that the game wasn’t really good and had some rather annoying time-reset-shenanigan that we could have really lived without and lots of meaningless and emotionless deaths. Plus, it was obviously a filler game that did basically nothing for the plot. It was honestly not a game I was looking forward to very much.

2. How did your first impression change, now that you had the chance to play the game yourself?

The good news is, that I really think that the game isn’t as bad as it felt like when I was just watching it. But the bad news is that a lot of my criticism still stands.

3. Lets talk about your criticism first then, but in a bit more detail. What did you dislike the most about the game?

The resets were immensely annoying. They could have been an amazing feature, if they had used it a bit less and a bit differently. A lot of the dead-ends weren’t that shocking at all and a lot of them didn’t have any emotional impact in you as the player and that was the mistake. The first one, were Elaine dies and then Van was a total shocker, but we didn’t have much time to have any emotional reaction to this, because while Agnes was screaming the reset already happened and both Van and Elaine were alive again, before you truly got to feel anything. Also… in Maxims Story, it took us 3 tries to finally fix the problem and it was getting annoying at some point. Yes, it was supposed to be the big plottwist that all along Maxim was the problem, but after the second reset I kind of got sick of it. And then, there is no true system behind the reset. When Towa died, we got a reset, but when the guy died that had worked with Almata before and wanted to turn himself in to some day finally be able to return to his family, the time did not reset. Why? It was later explained that the time would reset until the outcome was the desired one. But why do we desire the death of that man but when Towa dies we turn back time? The whole reset thing was a hot mess that did more damage to the game then it did good. There were also a lot of moments in the game were the character were totally OOC or where their actions didn’t fit their previous actions or were they doubted someone they’ve know and trusted (and sometimes even loved – be it as a friend or otherwise) for years in a way that made me shake my head. Like…. Elaine had to fight against Van, the man she loves, the guy she knows since her childhood and trusted enough to not one moment assume he was the red Grendel, to find out that he had good reasons to work with the Oathbreaker? WTF?! Ashens mind was so twisted that she believed that her childhood friend Aaron killed Cao and that devastated her so much that she thought killing Aaron was the right thing to do? Swin would leave Nadia behind to be with Ace without even trying to get Nadia to join them? And he really felt the need to go with an Ace that obviously did things the real Ace would have never done to begin with? Bullshit! Märchengarten was a nice way to train your people and get your hands on some useful stuff, but it ruined the Pacing and I honestly have no freaking idea why we had to go through level 9 after already beating the Garden Master, who had been the reason for the anomaly to begin with? Chapter 3 was a never-ending nightmare. We ran from one catastrophe into the next and it far overstayed its welcome. Not to mention that getting crushed by a falling airplane was a bit too much, even for a game where we got poisoned and affected by a deadly virus and obliterated by an Angel. (And all that in itself already sounds ridiculous.)

4. Okay, but since you said the game wasn’t as bad as you first thought, what were the good things?

Something I liked about the game is that many of the missions, side- or main missions alike, had some twist and turns that made them really interesting. The thing with Maxi for example was surprising. They should have kept that one a bit shorter, but yes, that was something that I didn’t see coming at all. Or the one with the Graffiti, where the guy was wanting to use the girl to make money with her art, while pretending to only want her to clean the Graffiti off his boat. Or did anyone foresee Halle blowing us up? The twists and turns made it really interesting, even when the slowed down pacing got you a bit tired. This game was a filler, yes, but it showed you why it was necessary anyway very well. It gave you more time with the characters, more time for the development of relationships and showing us certain places and situations a bit more closely. A lot of things that were placed in this game will do part 3 good, but would likely not have fit into it. For example, Quatres story and its consequences or the first half of Ninas true Identity. Even rounding up Dingos story by giving us a chance to properly say goodbye to him and mourn his loss and the “what could have been” when Marielle showed up, was an important part of the story that was really necessary (I talk more about this in the next question) and would likely not have found a place in the third game. The game also payed close attention to making sure we get the time to learn to like Shizuna and our two new Gralsritter-Friends, as one of the most important parts of the Trails-Series is the connection between you the player and the characters in the game. And once again, we will likely not have time for that in the next game. And I think it is a good thing, that a filler fulfills more purpose then just filling in a gap.

[si0writes]

In respect for the fact that it's difficult for you to write in English as mentioned above, this is probably going to be my last reply to this thread as I just want to correct you on some things you've said so that you can try and understand what I'm trying to say better because I feel like you're not understanding.

But it's my opinion, which I think some people who do sebaciel's nsfw should rethink. Tumblr is used to comment and post about different things. And I decided to talk about it.

That's great that you chose to spoke about it and share your opinion! I'm also doing the exact same thing here. If you can't deal with people with a different opinion replying to your post then you shouldn't be making posts complaining about other people and what media they choose to engage with.

Secondly, I can't understand how many people like to ship a child with an adult, that's a crime.

Maybe in real life, yes, but we are talking about fictional characters here. They're fake. If it truly was a crime, sites like AO3 and Wattpad, along with physical libraries and bookstores wouldn't have such a large database of fictional stories that have themes of Child/Adult relationships amongst other illegal things like murder, rape, drugs, human trafficking and more. Fiction is used as an escape for people and sometimes, a coping mechanism. People must be allowed to have artistic freedom so that darker themes like these can be explored safely, even if that means people are shipping children with adults. The ship tag is #sebaciel. I tagged it on my first reply and on this one. You can very easily block it if you don't want to see content of it.

When I said fandom, I didn't mean it in general, because I'm part of it too. I never talked about these arts, I like them and I don't see any harm.

The second line of your original post says that you wanted to "comment on the huge fandom of this anime". Someone reading this can only assume that you mean a majority of the fandom, if not all of it. Also, if you don't have a problem with the art, why are you complaining about them? It's art of Sebastian and Ciel in seductive poses together. If you're so against it like you make yourself out to be, shouldn't you not like it? I'm quite confused.

I KNOW that the main focus of the anime is their relationship, but what I'm saying is that it's not a normal relationship. It's between a demon and a human.

Exactly! So, this being said, you should understand that with this comes themes you may not like. Including Child x Adult. You even say that you know they're fictional characters. So act like it.

I know there are somewhat """seductive""" scenes between them, Sebastian is perverse, it's common!.

And I didn't really find any sources about Yana approving of this.

I made a mistake in my original post and said:

Yana herself, from memory, is also quite a big supporter of sebaciel

I did some digging and realized that I had misremembered and thus misrepresented what the actual situation was. She hasn't publicly spoken about being in support of Sebaciel from what I can find but this post sums it up quite well:

We know that she has a history of drawing yaoi/BL (including shota) and that she is very generous with sensual art of the pair so I think it’s safe to say that she doesn’t mind it at all as she’s happy to make fuel for the fire. She is also probably somewhat bound in the things she can say and publicly post for Kuro. They have a brand an image to keep too and she probably can not post things that would contract things in canon or give away spoilers.

However, here's a comparison of one of her original works in relation to Sebaciel. As mentioned in my original reply, the inspiration becomes quite clear.

Again, this is my opinion, not to criticize anyone. I obviously know they're not real, but I think it's kind of absurd for people to support something.

This all sounds pretty critical to me, licaa. It sounds very degrading, actually. You can't turn around and say you're not trying to criticize anyone and that it's just your opinion when your original post says that you wanted to say how terrible people are and how disgusting it is. If it's just your opinion, why does your post sound like you're virtue signaling to try and shame people into not shipping Sebaciel? Because that's what it sounds like and I think it's wrong that you're trying to back track and say that's not the case when I've got your original post right here to prove so.

Let's talk about Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler?

Well, I wanted to comment on the huge fandom of this anime. And making it clear that this has been my favorite anime for 3 years.

I wanted to say how terrible people are who ship "Sebastian X Ciel".

I think most people are aware of Ciel's age, right? It's kind of obvious. Ciel is only 13 years old, and if compared to Sebatian's age, it's pretty big, don't you think? You know what it's called, and how toxic it is.

I made this post to remind people who support this, to remember that this is disgusting. We know they are just characters, but this reflects a lot on you.

So please, don't ship minors with adults.

[shelbystales]

Unhealed Love - Part Four

Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Read previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3

Summary: You and Tommy have history… a long one but to cut the story short he pushed you away, shut you out of his life without giving you a chance to try another path… a path together, but you felt so angry at him that you didn’t want to try it either. Maybe it was better this way… more than ten years passed and you thought you’d had your time to heal but one day was all it took to destroy that idea of getting over Tommy Shelby.

Warning: Season 6 spoilers, swearing, angst, murder, anxiety.

A/N: comment and interact, tell me what you think! it means a looot thank you very much

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You played a few other shows after your last meeting with Thomas. luckily for you, you didn't see him in any of them but it didn't stop you from anxiously wondering if you would ever see him or if he would ever come again. not understanding whether it was a desire or a fear you felt, although it could easily be both.

you were rehearsing with your band after deciding to change a few things, adding a cello here and a piano solo there... little things that would make a difference and also take your mind off Thomas.

For the first time in a while, you were feeling good, feeling inspired again. you even started writing some new songs. None of them are good enough for you yet, but you were working on them in hopes of improving. trying to not be too critical and cruel to yourself, allowing yourself to take it easy as you deserved it after so much.

Oswald had invited you to dinner at his house today. a business dinner, he said. he asked you to prepare to sing a song or two with a piano solo, so you already knew it was going to be a busy dinner. probably all your opponents and allies in parliament would be there as this week was hectic in politics, much being decided about the future. you knew he had a number of measures that he wanted to get passed by parliament that you gathered from the parties you went to, maybe he wants to get them approved or something

you arrived at his house before everyone, as he requested. you had been here before, his house looked like a castle.

"Hello, miss. I'm glad you're here" he said appearing through one of the doors that led to the hall.

"Goodnight, Mr. Oswald. Happy to be here" you said with a smile.

"Let's see about that, darling. I have a request for you" he said and called you to follow him with his hands. walking through the immensity of his house, you arrived in what seemed to be his office "close the door, please" he said sitting in his chair.

"Everything is fine?" you asked worriedly, feeling like you'd been called to the boss's office after you did something wrong.

"Yes. It's all good. I just need your help with something. Whiskey?" he asked serving himself. you shook your head and you sat down in the chair opposite him.

"Where is Miss Diana?" you asked now realizing her absence

"Getting ready" he replied and took a deep breath "now, politics y/n. Sometimes we need to do something we're not proud of," he said and you frowned "tonight I'll have to do something I'm not proud of, but it's necessary for the good of our nation. And I need your help"

"As long as you're not asking me to kill someone," you said jokingly, but the seriousness in his eyes made you shudder "Mr. Oswald... I hope you're joking"

"No jokes darling. It's a necessity. This man for the last few months has been delaying all my requests for parliament. He is against progress, he wants to destroy us" he said and you could hear the hate in Mosley's voice

"No. I'm sorry" you said getting up

"Sit down. I'm not asking," he snapped. You sat, feeling the urge to vomit in your throat. "you're not going to kill him. you're just going to put it in his drink" he said handing you a bag with a white powder of some kind "and this will kill him"

"What if I don't?" you asked

"I would assume you don't agree with me Miss. y/n," he said getting up and walking towards you "Don't you? tell me, have I done something you didn't like since you arrived? since you started working with us" he leaned in your chair and bent over until his face was within a meter of yours, you could smell his aftershave making you gasp for air "we are people who love our country so much we would kill for it. we would kill everyone who stopped it from growing and thriving. got it?" you swallowed and nodded "good" he took your hand and placed the bag in it "I'll introduce you two when the time is right. Do what you have to do but don't let him die alone, it has to be in public. the poison takes around 10 minutes to kick in" he started to walk towards the door but he stopped and looked at you "ah and don't get caught. there's nothing I can do for you if you get caught" he left the room

you could feel your heart pounding against your chest. Looking at the bag in your hand you took a deep breath and tucked it into your bra.

you looked straight ahead at the bottle of whiskey you poured yourself a glass and drank it, wondering what you had gotten yourself into.

The guests arrived a little later. you tried to be nice and keep small talk with them, but you felt weak. You saw Tommy walking with Lizzie at times, but you always walked in the opposite direction. keeping as far away as possible, but all you wanted to do was to run to him and ask for help. 

Dinner was served, and you sang two lovely songs before handing the piano over to a random pianist hired to provide background music.

"Well that was beautiful," a man said approaching Mosley and Diana

"she continues to impress us," Diana said with a smile and hugged you "hi, dear"

"Hey, and thank you. very much" you said politely

"Y/n, this is Mr. Smith, this is the man I told you about earlier," he said and at that moment your heart sped up

"Oh, Mosley. I hope they were good things. I know we don't quite agree in some matters, but belittling myself to a woman like Miss. y/n wouldn't be fair," he said in a playful tone. he looked like a good man

"you don't have to worry about that. Mr. Mosley told me wonderful things about you Mr. Smith," you said smiling and he smiled back.

Mosley and Diana left with the excuse of needing to speak to the press. leaving you and the man alone. 

You knew what needed to be done and it was tormenting you. You held a conversation with him, he flirted with you, and you flirted back, allowing him to become even more interested in you. 

He seemed like a good man and he spoke with such pride and respect for his track record in parliament. He had done some incredible things for people in London, helped them, fought for women... you felt more guilty by the hour and you were sure if he went on telling you this you wouldn't be able to do what Mosley asked you to do.

"Oh, look at that your glass is empty," you said interrupting him "please let me take care of it" you leaned over to take his glass and he nodded "I'll be right back, don't leave here. I want to hear more about it," you said with a smile and left.

in the kitchen, hidden from everyone, you took the powder and poured it into the glass, along with the whiskey. Coming back to the living room the man was talking to the one you fought to avoid all night.

"Here Mr. Smith," you said handing him the glass "hello Mister Shelby, Hi Lizzie" you greeted them

"Thank you, I thought you ran away," he said jokingly

"I would never" you replied smiling and watching as he took a sip from his glass, nervous, afraid he might feel something wrong, a wrong taste, but nothing. he continued drinking normally.

 "The music, y/n. was beautiful," Lizzie said "I remember when you played in the garrison with that old piano and missing its keys," she said smiling making you smile

"and I don't miss it," you said

"I have to admit it sounds better on a new piano," she said, "well I was just leaving. I hate these events. good luck" she hugged you "have a good night everyone" without a direct goodbye to Thomas she left.

"Trouble in paradise, Mister Shelby?" Smith asked jokingly

"It's nothing," he said and the two of them started talking about politics.

Ever since Oswald told you what you needed to do for him tonight you've felt your stomach churn. the amount of alcohol you were ingesting just added to that feeling.

"Are you ok miss? got quiet all of a sudden" Smith said and you nodded

"I'm fine, just a bit tired," you said smiling

"yeah they've been putting you to work, almost every day now. I bet it can be exhaustive," he said referring to Mosley and his fiancée

"I don't care. It's good to be back, new beginnings" you said

"yeah, new beginnings are always good. for new beginnings," he said raising his glass and inviting you both for a toast.

"to new beginnings" you and Thomas spoke simultaneously and toasted.

you didn't expect the man to drink all the content in his glass after the toast and when he did you wanted to stick your hand down his throat making him vomit. 

Your heart raced, the hall suddenly seemed small and your lungs couldn't seem to fill with air. already familiar with your symptoms of a panic attack you spoke with some difficulty

"if you'll excuse me I need to go to the bathroom," you said and left before receiving an answer.

in the bathroom, you threw up everything in your stomach and sat on the floor hugging your legs hoping this would all pass soon. for this all to end.

you could hear the commotion outside, some women screamed and you assumed it was done.

You got up from the bathroom floor and wet your neck to calm down. In the mirror you saw how shaken you looked, you needed to get out of that house.

Opening the door you saw the confusion that was happening as people tried to help the fallen man. Mosley was one of them. It all seemed to go by in slow motion. Thomas was doing a heart massage on the man, trying to revive him. for a tiny second he looked at you and frowned as if he had read your mind.

Ignoring everything, you kept walking and asked the chauffeur to bring your car.

later that day you were in the living room reading. you couldn't sleep. just as you took a sip of your tea, you heard a knock on your door.

Standing up you opened it and saw Tommy Shelby himself.

"Oswald told you?" you asked and he shook his head

"I saw it in your eyes," he said

Taking a deep breath, you stepped out of the front door and let him in. Several years ago you killed a man for Tommy, but it wasn't like that, it was a millisecond decision that would decide he would either live or die. after that, he felt guilty for putting you in that position and never allowed you to enter a business meeting again. Killing a man broke you a little, you barely slept for weeks but he was there with you.

"Do you want tea?" you asked sitting in your seat again and he shook his head.

"Why? Why did you do that?" he asked

"He said I would be in the way of making our country great and he would kill anyone who did that. I didn't feel like I had any other options available" you said

"Stop… stop working for him," he said crouching down in front of her.

"Do you honestly think I could do that now?" you asked "now that he showed me his true colors? I would you be the next smith. anyways, thanks for the concern or whatever it is that brings you here, but you can go home. go stay with your wife. she deserves better than to sleep alone"

"I know she does," he said "she knows, about you and me. She is leaving," he said "used you as an excuse to leave but I know she has been wanting to leave for years"

"Ok, then you can go home to an empty house," you said "I too deserve better"

he sighed "yeah" and got up "but I'm not leaving" he sat down in the armchair on your diagonal and lit a cigarette

"why?" you asked

"it's not easy to kill a man, Y/n. I remember what did to you" he replied, "why don't you tell me now, what scared you off the stage?"

you frowned confused "why don't you tell me why you left me?"

"no, you were the one who left" he fell out

"Because you broke my fucking heart!" you said annoyed "why?"

he looked around, took a deep breath, and thought about how to respond.

"you said it yourself. you deserve better" he replied

"fuck you, that's not what I want. I want the truth"

"you want the truth, eh?" he asked leaning forward and resting his two elbows on his legs "I was scared" he admitted, making you laugh "it's not a joke"

"yeah? so you really want me to believe you were scared? Of fucking what?" you asked sarcastically

"Losing you for good" he replied

"so you broke my heart after we moved in together? smart, that would make me stay for sure" you scoffed

"blame me all you want but I would rather not have you than be the reason you got killed," he said

"What aren't you telling me?" you asked and he looked around for a while, reluctant to tell you.

"I just... we got lucky. I never told you, but there was a bomb that didn't go off."

"Where?"

"our house. Do you remember how it was back then when we started expanding into London? It was very dangerous, we fought a lot and Sabini made a bomb. you would pay the price for my interference. He told me while I was in his office, here in London. I had to drive all the way home like a mad man, all the way thinking you were dead and it was my fault. So I thought no, I couldn't do it. Later I found the bomb, it was wired wrong so it didn't explode"

"so you just cut me off instead of improving our security?"

"I couldn't allow that to happen to you"

"You did a lot worse, you took my voice in the matter! Tommy, I was a wreck after that!"

"I don't regret it, ey. Look at Grace" he said "it could have been you"

"Oh, don't you dare use her as an example. You know I despise her" you said angrily "besides you chose to give her a chance and not me. It was nice to read about your marriage in the newspaper"

"I never meant to hurt you," he said rubbing his tired eyes

"You never mean anything, do you?" you asked impatiently

"Grace calmed and soothed me after you left. I needed someone you weren't the only one in pain you know," he admitted.

"Yes, thanks to whom?"

"I get it okay? I made a bad decision, but I stand by it, y/n. I didn't care if I died or lived, but if anything happened to you and it was me fault? I lost Grace and it broke me." But fuck if it was you taking that bullet... I'd put one in my head. Same day" you took a deep breath "I just assumed you had moved on, you were happy. I told myself you would be happiest with whomever you choose to be with"

"By the way, it's not true. The next man I had a relationship with was capable of being worse than you" you admitted

"How so?"

"Well, for starters I don't think he loved me...or cared about me at all... he, he was a piece of shit," you said, not really knowing how to form your sentences and explain to him what happened "He was the breaking point to make me hate the stage I guess. it's too complicated I don't know how to tell you" you shrugged

"I'm sorry," he said and you nodded

"It's not really your fault, but thanks"

"I'm sorry for everything I've done. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. And for years I thought about what it might have been like if I hadn't done what I did. But these questions just resolved themselves. After Grace "

"Yeah, look at us now making up when you have something growing inside your head," you said and he looked at you tenderly

"better than not doing it, eh"

"is it?" you asked and unexpectedly tears started to build up in your eyes and roll down your face "I'm sorry I just..." you spoke cleaning the tears. he stood up and sat next to you, pulling you into his arms as he caressed your hair and back "I don't know why I'm crying. I'm sorry"

"Don't be, it's ok, ey" he said comforting you.

You were sad about what had happened today and now about what was going to happen to the man in front of you whom you've loved since being a kid.

You felt angry too, his reason to you seemed ridiculous, but you do remember how things were back then. he almost died too many times. He was young and inexperienced, he did not know what he knows now. he didn't want to gamble your life as he did his own.

You finally calmed down and fell asleep in his arms.

the next day you woke up lying in bed covered. Sitting you looked around your room, the blanket next to you was messy, as if a person was getting up and on the pillow, there was a note.

Wanted to wait until you woke up but I had to leave early. eet me today at noon at this address? 

Love, Thomas. 

You didn't recognize de address. looking at your clock it was almost 11am. 

You wondered what that meant. Were you guys ok now? did you want to be ok? was it worth it? it would be just too hard to lose him now, and you knew you would. Last night he held you, took care of you. You couldn't remember the last time someone did that, just hold you. 

fuck it, you thought, I deserve some fucking happiness even if it's just for a year. 

Standing up you started to get ready

when you arrived you were surprised by what you saw. it was a park... a park.

you were confused but after walking a bit you saw him sitting on a bench in front of the children's playground.

"hi", you said approaching him

"hey" he got up to kiss you on the cheek

"What are we doing here?" you asked looking around

"You do not like it?" he asked

"no, it's just. I didn't expect it" you admitted and he smiled

"I'll take you to a restaurant over there," he said "I just wanted to see the kids play" he started walking and you followed him

"how are you holding up after your kid? What was her name?" you asked

"Ruby. Some days are worse than others. But I can do nothing about it, they just disappear one day and that's it" he said. you saw he was hiding feelings from you he was clearly suffering.

"Must be hard, it was your only child, right?" you asked and he nodded

"I wonder, you have always wanted a big family. what happened to that?" he asked and you took a deep breath looking away

"Long story" you replied

"Well me time is ticking" he joked

"ha ha" you rolled your eyes as you entered the restaurant.

You had read about this place in the newspapers, it was supposed to be the new best place in town.

he said his name to the waitress and you both were shown to your table. He pushed your chair for you to sit like a gentleman.

"thank you" you smiled at him as you sat

"Now go on, tell me" he encouraged you as he sat and the waitress gave you both the menu

"My ex. he wanted a family and I did too. of course. but I couldn't do it I miscarried all the pregnancies I had, and believe me it was a lot... I went to all sorts of doctors and none knew what was wrong with me. He just became a nightmare when he noticed that I couldn't do it. he would put much pressure on me and I just had to deal with it all. I had to perform in such awful pain... that time in my life is just a blur because I was always high on painkillers so..." you shrugged "... I guess I can't have kids"

"I'm sorry," he said, holding your hand across the table. you smiled and nodded.

After you ordered you took some courage and asked "what do you want from me?"

"That's a tough question," he said as he blew the smoke of his cigarette out of his lungs "I don't know. I guess I just want to spend time with you. I understand if you don't..."

"I do and I don't," you said and he smiled

"Just today then. we spend the day together and if want I'll stay away. if fact I have to go to America this week. I have business there" he said "so we see each other until I go and you take the time I'm there to think, ey. what do you say?"

"Okay" you nodded and smiled "by spending the day together, should I assume we are going somewhere after this?"

"You should" he smirked

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[mypoisonedvine]

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (chapter 10 - FINALE)

series masterlist

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: 6k

warnings: implied smut, angst, fluff, romcom tropes, lots of swearing, pregnancy mention/minor breeding kink

note: click the asterisk for a hyperlink to a translation when the time comes

Six months later...

“It’s good!” she beamed, setting down the last chunk of pages and taking off her reading glasses. “Oh man, that ending hurt, but it’s really, really good!”

You leaned back into the plush chair and sighed with relief. “You think so?”

“It’s best-seller material,” she assured. “With some editing, of course. God, I can’t believe you were sitting on this for so long.”

“What are the biggest changes you want to make?” you asked.

“Well, I’m thinking we’ll cut the romantic subplot,” she mentioned in passing, like it was no big deal. “It’s distracting.

“Distracing?” you repeated. “Nia, it’s the story. It’s a romance.”

“I thought it was a thriller,” she frowned.

“A romance disguised as a thriller,” you corrected.

“Listen, I get what you mean, but I didn’t get this—” she tapped the nameplate on her desk: ‘NIA BROWN, HEAD PUBLISHER’ in shiny letters— “for nothing. I know what I’m talking about, and I know what your readers want. Violence, gore, drama!”

“It has all that!” you defended. “But it’s all there to talk about the real love he finds in her!”

“What do you mean ‘real love’?” she pressed flatly.

“I mean…” you pondered. “I mean love where you feel like a version of yourself that you actually like. Love where you feel unjudged, no precedents or caveats or back-up plans. Love that fucking hurts because you never wanted to rely on anything or anybody. Love that lives in silence because you don’t even need words.”

She furrowed her brow. “That… sounds nice, I guess, but I don’t think anybody really has that. Everybody needs a back-up plan. Everybody needs words— a writer should know that.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” you groaned, your face falling into your hands. “I’m so fucking stupid. Jesus Christ, I’m a moron.”

“What? What’s going on?”

“I had that! I had that, and I let it go! I’m the dumbest bitch on the fucking face of the Earth.”

“Don’t say that,” she soothed, but you were already standing up.

“No, I need to find him,” you decided as you grabbed your coat and briefcase. “I need to go back and try to fix this. I love him, I’ve never— I didn’t know I could love like that, I didn’t know I could be loved like that… oh my god, I need to find him. It isn’t over.”

“It isn’t over?” she repeated incredulously. “You said Michael signed the papers!”

“It’s not Michael,” you rolled your eyes as you stormed out of the office. “It was never Michael.”

You ran into the first telephone box you could find, slamming the door shut as you searched your purse for the business card that probably wasn't even in there.

After a moment, you gasped with delight when you pulled it from a very bottom pocket and began punching in the number as fast as possible with shivering hands, long-distance charges be damned.

“Hello?” the confused voice on the other end answered.

“Mrs. Alberti, hi— does Sebastian still work for you?” you asked hastily.

“No, dear," she sighed, apparently recognizing you by just your voice (and likely your request), "he quit recently, and moved away.”

“Moved?" you repeated with a wrinkled brow. "Where?!”

“I assume back home, sweetheart; to Bucharest.”

“Shit,” you sighed. “Shit!”

“Are you having your ‘run through the airport’ moment, sweetheart?” she realized.

“Yes, I think so— do you have his address?”

“Well, no, but I’ll see what I can find.”

You waited rather impatiently as she shuffled through papers in the background, mumbling to herself as she apparently searched for information that could help you.

“All I’ve got is the address of a previous employer… a carpenter,” she finally explained, breaking the silence. “It was his only reference when he came to work here," she explained.

"Wow, you really did just hire him for his looks," you blurted out.

"He was desperate for work, that boy had nowhere else to go,” she defended.

“Right, well, I guess if that’s my only lead then I’ve gotta go for it,” you decided. “Thank you, Mrs. Alberti.”

“I told you to call me when that book was a hit. Did it happen yet?” she piped up.

“It’s not published yet,” you explained. “It needs some more work… but I think it’s almost ready.”

“I think so, too, dear.”

Learn Romanian in 10 Weeks! A practical language guide.

Week 1, Day 1: Greetings

Hello                      Salut

Goodbye                La revedere

Thank you              Mulțumesc

You’re welcome      Cu plăcere

Good morning         Bună dimineata

Good afternoon       Bună ziua

Good evening          Bună seara

Good night               Noapte bună

You brushed your hair back out of your face with a sigh, turning the page as you mumbled the phrases to yourself. Broken Hungarian and your high school education in Latin were not getting you as far with this as you had been hoping.

How are you?          Ce mai faci

I love you                 Te iubesc

“Te iubesc, te iubesc, te iubesc,” you repeated over and over in a whisper.

Each day you had a new routine: practice Romanian for an hour, check flight prices online (or call the airline), research what you knew about Sebastian and the address Mrs. Alberti had given you, and then get back to practicing Romanian again.

Oh, and occasionally you worked on the edits Nia wanted for your manuscript. You were focusing on the minor changes— grammar errors, rearranging sentences— and putting off her big request for the removal and replacement of the romantic aspects. More than ever, they seemed like the most important thing the book had to offer.

You had a small apartment, just a place to sleep and shower really; much too small to fit everything you’d already taken from Michael’s house (you know, the one that used to be your house) along with what he’d shipped to you that you forgot before. He included a letter in the package as well. You threw it out, unopened.

Truthfully, you never really fully unpacked. As much as you realized you probably should, in order to really feel like you had a real home, you couldn’t bring yourself to empty your suitcases when you knew you’d be packing them again any day now.

You also realized how outrageous this all was. Ignoring the unlikelihood of even finding him in the first place, Sebastian probably wouldn’t want anything to do with you after you broke his heart, left, and then randomly tracked him down after over half a year. But to be totally transparent, you weren’t really doing this to get him back, necessarily. You knew that was probably never going to happen. You were doing this because you needed to try. You needed to go there, and get hurt, and come back knowing you did everything you could: you’d never be able to live with yourself if you did anything less than that.

You couldn’t start your new life until you had put everything else to bed. And if that meant being 100%, painfully certain that you and Sebastian could never be together, then that was just how it needed to be.

After two weeks of looking, there still weren’t any reasonable flights to Bucharest, so you booked another trip by train, figuring you could use the three day trip to brush up on the key Romanian phrases you were going to need as well as prepare your speech.

Yes, your plan was a speech. You didn’t have a back-up plan. You didn’t even have a return ticket back to London yet.

A passage by Yeats came to mind; But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

In all your life, you’d never understood before why someone would want to only have their dreams. But now, here you were… and yes, it felt terrifying and vulnerable and uncomfortably naked, but it felt pretty damn good, too.

With a sigh, you scribbled out the last sentence you’d written, tossing the trash paper aside. You looked up out the window at the scenery flying by in a blur, worried that if you didn’t look out from the train every once in a while you’d get motion sickness.

The sun was beginning to set already, the green of hills and trees tinted orange. You only indulged in it for a moment, though, before getting back to this god-forsaken speech you were deadset on finishing before you arrived in Bucharest tomorrow. At first, you’d figured the translating would be the most difficult part… but writing in English wasn’t exactly a piece of cake, either. You had so much to say, and suddenly so few words for any of it.

You’d probably done more editing on this than any of your novels combined; the crumpled up pages spilling out of your wastebasket were proof enough of that.

“And I’m a fucking writer!” you groaned aloud, to no one in particular. “How is anybody else supposed to be able to do this, if I can’t?”

Other people aren’t as emotionally constipated as you, the voice of your inner critic reminded you plainly, making you roll your eyes at yourself.

A rap at your door made you sit up straighter and turn around. A stewardess slid open the frosted glass slightly to give you a friendly smile. “Is everything alright, ma’am?”

Your brows furrowed at the sound of her accent. “Is that a Romanian accent?” you asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded.

“So you’re fluent in Romanian and English,” you concluded.

“And Portuguese, yes ma’am,” she agreed.

“Could you come in here for a moment and help me translate something?”

She seemed slightly confused at the request but stepped forward, sliding the door most of the way shut behind her. Leaning beside you on the desk, she picked up your handwritten letter and blinked her wide, brown eyes a few times. You felt slightly embarrassed knowing she was reading such intimate thoughts, but that was how it felt the first time someone read anything you wrote so you were pretty much used to it by now.

“I usually ask the passengers what brings them to Bucharest,” she mumbled after a moment. “This is the most interesting thing so far. Am I reading this correctly, that you intend to confess your love to someone you met—” she scanned the page quickly— “during a vacation in Hungary?”

“Yup,” you smiled awkwardly, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word.

“And he doesn’t speak English?” she assumed; you nodded. “And… you don’t speak Romanian?”

You nodded again, and she breathed in and out quickly, sitting beside you as she stared at the letter.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” she explained.

“Sorry for sucking you into the entropic vortex that is my life,” you chuckled.

“I don’t mean to pry,” she sighed, setting the letter down, and you laughed a little internally at the idea that she was worried about prying when she just read the most personal piece of writing you’d ever put to the page, “but do you think this is… enough? I mean, to build a relationship on?”

You just gave her a shrug. “I have no idea. But, you know, I spent my whole life worrying about stuff like that. I dated my husband for seven years before we got married, because I wanted to be sure. I was initially interested in him because he was successful and ambitious, and it made me feel like this was a really secure relationship that I could rely on. I double majored in English and Computer Science because I wanted a more stable career to fall back on in case being a writer didn’t work out, and even though it did, I’ve spent most of my career publishing what I thought people wanted to read instead of what I wanted to write, so I’d have a better shot at a good paycheck. I grew up thinking the best thing I could ever have was security. And now I’m divorced, watching my royalties shrink every month, more insecure in every way than I’ve ever been, and I’m realizing that the choices I made didn’t give me what I wanted. I gave up so much in the name of safety, and I let the one good thing I’d ever found go, so I could go back to being the same person I always was. I’m ready to settle again, if this doesn’t work… I’m ready to accept that this is just the way life goes, and be thankful that I got a taste of the kind of stuff I thought only existed in the sort of books I’d read but never write.”

She swallowed as she looked at you, and you felt your eyes water as you stared out the window towards the dimming scenery one more time, smiling at the sight of a distant village, a church with a steeple, vineyards and farms. Someone’s whole life is in that little town, you imagined, and they’re just watching your train go by like they see every other day.

“Sebastian gave me more security than I’d ever had before, even though the whole thing was such a ridiculous little whirlwind, and nothing like I ever imagined my life could be. But he made me want to be honest and raw and write sappy letters like the one you just read. He doesn’t have any money, at least as far as I know, and I haven’t known him for seven years, and on paper it makes no sense… but you would understand if you knew him. If you felt that joy that he radiates, if you saw him live his simple little life like it’s the best thing in the world. You would understand if you knew how much I needed this. You would understand if you had been just as miserable being who I’ve been for so long, and finally had a chance to be somebody you think you were maybe meant to be the whole time. So, if I never see him again, I hope I just get to thank him.”

You waited for her to say something, but furrowed your brow at the long moment of silence, looking back from the window finally and finding her staring at you with a tear running down her cheek. When you met her gaze, she quickly wiped it away with a sniffle and looked down at your desk again. “Let’s get to translating, shall we?” she announced with a half-smile.

You noticed the way the other passengers looked at you as everyone was in line to deboard from the train car; you stuck out like a sore thumb, since everybody else was carrying heavy luggage and all you had was a backpack.

In your defense, you really had no idea how to pack for a trip where you knew neither the duration nor the true final destination. So, it was mainly filled with your essentials, a few clothes for any kind of weather, and enough leu to buy anything else you needed along the way.

The stewardess was waving goodbye to everyone as they shuffled out into the train station, occasionally stopping to shake a hand or give directions to nearby destinations. When you were just about to pass by, though, she pulled you into a tight hug.

“Good luck,” she whispered, holding you just a moment too long before pulling back and giving you an encouraging look. “If he doesn’t take you back, feel free to blame my translation… because if he knows what’s in your heart, I know he’ll say yes.”

“Yeah, that’s the hard part isn’t it?” you laughed weakly. “Thank you for your help. I guess if I come back alone for the return trip tonight, you’ll know how bad it went.”

“Then I hope I don’t see you again,” she winked.

It being a major train station and all, cabs were waiting around every corner so it was pretty easy to grab one and give them the address you already had written down for this exact purpose.

“This is pretty far,” the driver explained, “on the edge of town. Not a tourist spot.”

“Good, because I’m not a tourist,” you nodded, already only giving him half your attention as you pulled out the translated speech to practice.

“And you can afford this?” he pressed. You sighed and dug through your bag, pulling out a haphazard stack of bills and handing them through the plastic partition.

“Is this enough?” you asked, and he didn’t answer, just taking the money and starting the car as you smiled and leaned back in your seat.

As much as you had tried to convince yourself to not get your hopes up, the butterflies in your stomach felt more like whole birds at this point, demanding to break free as you practiced the words hand-written on the page over and over again, committing it all to memory.

“What are you reading?” the cab driver asked after several minutes.

“Oh, nothing,” you mumbled, “sorry if I’m bothering you, you can turn on the radio.”

“No, it’s not bothering me, but what you are saying… it’s very odd. It sounds like something from a play, or movie,” he explained.

“Um, it’s not,” you replied, a little embarrassed. “But does it sound like it’s from a good movie? Like, if you heard a character say this to another character, would you think they should get together?”

“I… don’t know,” he answered, sounding confused. “I mean, it depends on what happened, right? How they met, how well they get along…”

So, you told him the whole story, as succinctly as possible (which is not very succinct at all). By the end, he was actually giving commentary as you spoke.

“Why the hell did you leave?” he interjected, clearly irritated with you. “You loved him!”

“Yeah, well, sometimes love isn’t enough! I loved my husband too, and look how that turned out,” you defended.

“But that’s different. That was love for all the wrong reasons.”

“I promise, it felt very real at the time,” you shrugged.

“And now?” he countered. “You realize that this man— Sebastian, right?— is real.”

“I hope I’m right this time,” you offered. “But even if I am, he may not agree.”

The driver scoffed, taking a hand off the wheel to wave dismissively. “If he’s anything like you said, then he will still be completely in love with you. After all, you still feel the same way after all this time apart, don’t you?”

“If anything, I love him more every day,” you admitted, your heart beating quickly just to say it aloud.

“You know, when I met my wife, she was engaged to another man. He was rich, good-looking, and he wasn’t even a bad guy unlike this husband you describe. He was a good man, but he wasn’t right for her. They were… content together, but she wasn’t truly happy. Every night I would come to her window and beg her to marry me, because I knew that she knew we were meant for each other, but she was scared because her family wouldn’t approve and she would be a poor man’s wife.”

“How did you convince her to marry you instead?” you asked eagerly, sucked into the story already.

“I didn’t. On the day of the wedding, some people told me to go and break it up but I didn’t. I thought it would be wrong, to try to ruin her happiness and take it for myself by making a scene at the wedding. I realized she was her own woman and if she wanted to choose him, I had to let her. I had locked myself in my house, not wanting to see anyone that day, and she appeared at my door. I didn’t need to convince her because she knew the truth in her heart, and called off the wedding herself.”

“Wow,” you smiled.

“She was still in her dress!” he recalled with a hearty laugh. “She looked like an angel. We were married just a few days later. And next month will be thirty years,” he added as he lifted his left hand to show the golden band on his finger.

“Thirty years, that’s… a long time,” you sighed.

“It wasn’t always easy,” he admitted. “But it was always worth it.”

Just as you wondered what you could possibly say to that, you felt the car slow down to a stop.

“This is the address you gave me, this is it,” he explained, pointing out his passenger-side window. You leaned up against the glass and gasped in dawning fear as you saw the storefront dark and empty inside.

“No, nonono,” you whispered rapidly to yourself as you swung open the door and hopped out, pressing your face against the glass to try to get a look inside and finding what was undeniably a closed carpentry business. There was a note on the door, taped on the inside of the glass, and you knew enough Romanian to know it said something about a vacation and three months.

“Shit!” you yelped, holding your face in your hands, wondering if your journey had come to an end before it really began.

“Are you alright?” the driver asked, rolling down his window to speak to you.

“This was my only lead, I don’t have his real address,” you explained. “He used to work here, I thought maybe someone would know him…”

He sighed, giving you a sympathetic look. “Get back in, we can search nearby. You came too far to give in yet.”

But getting back in the car felt like giving in, too, which you realized as you looked back at the note taped to the carpenter's door. This was the closest you'd gotten, and it felt wasteful to leave with nothing.

Just as you were ready to hop in the passenger seat and start searching aimlessly through suburban Bucharest, or maybe look around for a Romanian yellow pages, you heard a noise from behind you, across the street; a laugh. His laugh. But it couldn’t be because it was too good to be true… and yet you found yourself whipping your head around and hoping beyond all reason that it was Sebastian.

Across the street was a restaurant, with a large patio where patrons were dining and chatting as they sat at wrought iron tables, and your eyes searched the crowd for any signs of him.

And then your gaze landed on a head of thick brunette hair, red and gold highlights so obvious now when the sunlight hit it this way. Broad shoulders wrapped in a white button-up shirt. He was facing away from you but he was looking to the side so you could see his face; he was smiling, laughing at something someone had said. And it was his smile that you recognized; it was like everything else faded away, and in that moment you thought maybe you could almost be happy with just this, just seeing him be happy even if it had nothing to do with you.

“Sebastian,” you called out to him, but he didn’t react. “Sebastian!”

His whole body turned, his eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but let the tears well in your eyes as you ran across the road to him.

He looked, understandably, stunned, and you realized he was actually waiting on a table at the moment; he said something to them, apparently excusing himself, and stepped closer to you.

But he stopped walking, not coming any closer, not exactly dragging you into his arms like you might've preferred, but with a breath to try to soothe your racing mind, you summoned your memories of the practiced letter and began. *

“Când am venit în Ungaria…” you started slowly, doing your best to remember the words and hoping your pronunciation wasn’t too awful, “nu căutam dragoste. Căutam spațiu, claritate și poate o idee de carte de un milion de dolari. În schimb, am găsit tot ce am căutat toată viața mea…”

You did your best to bite back tears, especially when his expression was nearly unreadable and you had no idea how well this was going.

“Ești tu, Sebastian, bineînțeles că ești tu,” you sighed, laughing slightly. “Ai fost acolo pentru mine când nici nu știam ce vreau de la nimeni. Ai fost prietenul meu fără să spui vreodată un cuvânt - cel puțin nu un cuvânt pe care l-am înțeles. M-ai iubit și nu știam ce să fac cu asta, pentru că uitasem cu mult timp în urmă cum se simțea să fii iubit. Și ce simțeai să iubești cu adevărat pe cineva. Dar te iubesc. Și am fost prost să te las să pleci, atât de neconceput de prost. Vreau să fim noi, Sebastian. Lasă-mă să te iubesc, mai dă-mi o șansă și îți promit că nu te voi mai lăsa să pleci niciodată.

The first thing he said was your name, and just the way he said it made you fall in love with him all over again.

“I… I dream that you would come back,” he shakily replied. “But now I cannot believe. You are my dream.”

Tears were openly flowing at this point and you wanted to run into his arms, but you tried to stay calm and hear him out. He stepped closer, almost hesitant, like you would run away if he got too close too fast.

“I love you, very much that I am sure I am insane person,” he explained with a grin, and you giggled. “We will live anywhere, do anything you would like— be my wife.”

You gasped as he pulled you into him, gripping your arms tightly as his desperation became apparent.

“Marry me?” he asked softly.

“Da,” you nodded, “yes, of course, anything—”

He kissed you suddenly, but gently, and it said more than any words in any language could.

It was a small wedding, in the Hungarian countryside by the lake. You could remember diving into that lake for lost pages of your manuscript; you could remember looking out over the water and dreaming of this moment you were living right now, thinking it was impossible.

He didn’t have much family, but they welcomed you with open arms.

Your family, well, they were too busy with planning another wedding, for your ex-husband and your ex-sister. A few of them sent cards but the rest were suspiciously quiet. You honestly didn’t even notice… you had a new family to attend to, anyhow. And it wasn’t like you didn’t have any guests, since you were able to track down and invite a stewardess named Maria, and a cab driver named Andrei and his wife, Paola.

Sebastian’s cousins weaved flowers into your hair and his grandmother tailored her dress to fit you like a glove. A picture of his parents was hung nearby in tribute; he told you they would’ve wanted to see him get married but that he felt, in some way, they were able to even if they had passed away quite some time ago.

You realized you’d never seen him in anything even mildly formal before; in fact, the suit he wore was rather casual, all things considered, but he looked so painfully cute in it. Sometimes you thought he actually looked a bit out of place wearing a shirt, though, especially one that was buttoned up all the way.

Luckily, the shirt was halfway unbuttoned about ten minutes into the reception.

Mrs. Alberti cooked a massive dinner for everyone, and even grew the flowers that you carried down the cobblestone aisle.

And wow, can Romanians drink. You had to be careful not to try to keep up with them, because if you had you would’ve been blacked out halfway into the night and the last thing you wanted was to forget even a moment of this.

As the night started to wind down to a close, you and your new husband retired to the lakehouse, running up the stairs and finding them as creaky as always.

He wrapped his arms around you in the hall and kissed you eagerly as you stumbled back into the bedroom, tripping over the doorway and falling onto the bed together.

It felt so right to have his weight on top of you, to feel his smile against your lips, to wrap your arms around his neck.

“This room,” he mumbled into the kiss. “Do you remember first time?”

“Yes,” you nodded, “da, I remember, how could I forget?”

He grinned and moved his lips down to your neck. "I thought of you every day… I love you,” he whispered.

“Te iubesc,” you whispered back.

It was almost like the first time in so many ways: passionate, yet oddly hesitant as you rediscovered each other. It was comfortable, though… you couldn’t think of any other person you felt so comfortable with, somebody who finally got you out of your own head and who made you want to experience everything life had to offer.

You were sure you’d never gone so long without worrying about something in all your life.

“My wife,” he whispered against your skin. “This is all I had wanted… from seeing you in very beginning.”

“You’re all I ever wanted,” you sighed in return, “ești tot ce mi-am dorit vreodată, Sebastian.”

Life with Sebastian was beautifully simple. You spent most of the day writing, usually, while he built furniture to sell and occasionally gardened with his spare time. You could always tell how busy you’d been with a new novel lately by how perfectly groomed the hydrangea bushes were.

You’d told him once that you’d come to Hungary looking for a million-dollar book idea. A Killer in Disguise performed alright, but not anywhere near that. The Language of Love, on the other hand, was definitely a million-dollar idea… about eleven times over. Sebastian didn’t seem to worry too much about how much money you made, though; he was just proud to say that he was the inspiration for your hit novel. You secretly suspected that he was more proud of your work reaching enough international notoriety to be translated into Romanian.

His English still needed some work, but you found it endearing. He was determined to get better and spent at least a half-hour each day practicing, but you hoped he wouldn’t get too perfect because you would miss the silly little mistakes he made. At least you could be sure he’d keep the accent forever… damn, that accent; and he knew exactly what it did to you, too.

In fact, you were crossing through the hall in your robe one evening when your husband’s voice stopped you.

“Darling wife,” you heard Sebastian call from the bedroom in a playful sing-song.

“What is it, Seba?” you asked with a smirk.

“Come in here, please…”

You opened the bedroom door to find most of the room covered in rose petals: most of all the bed, which was surrounded by candles, and topped with a shirtless (as per usual) Sebastian, laid on his side seductively with a long-stemmed rose (one you recognized from his very own garden) between his teeth.

“What are you doing?” you laughed. “Is this some sort of special occasion I’ve forgotten?”

You were already searching your mind for what it could be, but your two-year anniversary had passed a few months ago already and since it was spring it couldn’t be the anniversary of when you first met since that was late in the summer.

“Iss not quite a thpecial occathion yeth,” he answered before taking the rose from his mouth so he actually made sense. “I was considering it could be a special occasion, when we’re done…”

You smirked and climbed over the candles and into bed with him, taking the opportunity to run your hands over his chest. “And what occasion would that be?”

“A year from now, it could be the anniversary of when our child was conceived,” he answered.

Your breath caught in your throat, your voice reduced to a whisper of surprise. “Seba—”

“If you’re not ready, I will be understand,” he instantly added, stern yet soft. “Only if you want this, I just thought that maybe—”

You silenced him with a kiss, lacing your fingers into his hair and letting him roll you onto your back. He pulled back just enough to let you answer, but your noses were still bumping into each other and you smiled.

“I’m ready, Sebastian. More than ready,” you whispered.

He grinned and kissed you again, deeper and slower as he held your face with one hand and gripped your waist with the other. As his lips trailed down to your neck, you were interrupted with one pressing thought.

“Can I ask you something?”

He popped up and looked down at you with a smile. “Sure!”

“Why are you wearing ratty old jeans?” you laughed.

“Hey, these worked on you the first time,” he defended.

You gasped. “You don’t mean those are the jeans—”

“Yes,” he nodded, “the jeans that I had been wearing when I was working on Mrs. Alberti’s cottage. And, truly, when I was finding an excuse to work outside your window.”

“Wait,” you sat up, “did you actually work outside my window on purpose?”

He laughed, hanging his head quickly before looking back at you again with a sparkle in his eye. “You are very smart, my love, except for those times when you are— how do you say? Oblivious.”

You chuckled, unfortunately very aware that he was right.

“Didn’t you ever wonder why I was building a window frame, nearly a dozen metres away from the window it was for?”

You thought for a moment before dropping your face into your hands and laughing. “No, I didn’t notice that. I was too busy giving you a thorough eye-fuck,” you recalled.

“Yes, because I was not wearing a shirt and this distracted you,” he pondered, sounding suddenly like a scientist explaining a theorem or something. “See, that’s the beauty of wearing the jeans and no shirt. The body distracts you while the jeans seduce you.”

“How about you take the jeans off and put that body on me, capisce?” you pleaded; not that you didn’t love his humor or anything, but maybe his funny bone wasn’t exactly the bone you were interested in at the moment.

He grinned devilishly and suddenly pulled your legs apart, settling his body between them as he kissed your neck again, nipping at your jawline and ear. “You’re being impatient, dragă,” he purred. “You want to have my baby that badly?”

You whined involuntarily, arching your back as his hands roamed your body and finally began to untie your robe and push the silk out of the way. “Yes, Sebastian, please—”

“Let’s just say, theoretically, I wanted to have more than one? Would you have another of my children?” he asked softly as he reached up and palmed at your breasts, teasing your nipples which were already much too hard and sensitive for how little he’d touched you. The rough denim rubbing against the inside of your thighs was oddly arousing— maybe it was the sensation itself, or maybe it was just that this was almost like the first thing you imagined when you saw Sebastian all those years ago.

“Yes,” you moaned out your answer, “yes, you know I’d do anything for you.”

“What if I wanted a big family?” he pressed. “Really big? Like, Catholic big?”

“We can have our own fuckin’ Brady Bunch, Seb, I just need you right now,” you begged, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a hot and desperate kiss.

He decided to wait until afterwards to ask what a ‘Brady Bunch’ was. You decided to wait until afterwards to ask when he’d learned how to use the word ‘theoretically’.

sfarsit; the end

[feitansluver]

Hey Again!!! How are you? 🇧🇷 anon here! I really love your writing style!!! I'm here to made a request again! But now it's of Hunter x Hunter

Can you made Killua Zoldyck with a s/o who is a witch (who know more of healing magic than of damage magic)?

I inspired this request in an topic which came up between me and my mother (yes, I'm a minor) today

Now i'm using what I was taught about English, i use a little of Google Translate because idk how to translate some words to English

Author's Note: Hello 🇧🇷 anon!! I'm doing great and I hope you are too. Aww, thank you so much. I decided to take the Fantasy Magical Witch route as opposed to the real life witch route because I think that's what you were asking for? I'm assuming so because you referred to it as magic. Anywho, if I was wrong in my assumption, feel free to re-request and I'll redo this to your liking!

As always, reblogs, hearts, comments, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!

Killua w/ a Fantasy Witch s/o who specializes in Healing Magic

Killua just assumes you have some sort of specialization nen, he also doesn't really need to heal all too much, he's so op its crazy, so he doesn't really understand it's value 100% yet??

However, this changes when you have to heal either yourself or somebody else while he's around. (its Gon 100% LMFAO)

He's stunned, because uh,, that's not nen?? Why are you able to do that? Are you God?

What? You're a witch? Oh, that's cool

WAIT YOU'RE A WITCH????

Killua will not leave you alone now, at least not for a while.

"Y/nnnn! C'mon do the magic again." He wants to see it constantly, at least until he sees every spell 10 times minimum.

He likes subtly bragging to other hunters he meets about it? "Oh, your nen's cool, my s/o doesn't use nen but since they're a witch, they can heal people."

Definitely looks for books that deal with your practice in order to gift to you yes, but also to understand what it is you're talking about half the time. It's his way of showing he supports you, even with the big stigma against fantasy witches.

Speaking of the stigma, he doesn't take anyone's bs when it comes to him "being w/ someone who worships the devil." no i'm serious, he won't even give them the time of day.

As soon as he hears them speak, he's grabbing your arm and pulling you to look at the different markets within the town, probably buying you some sort of treat from there.

Once he gets used to it, which is fairly quickly, he honestly doesn't even think about it too much.

Although, he is very hesitant when it comes to pissing you off.

Killua will ask if you know any sort of self protection or maybe even some damage causing magic, and if you don't he really wishes you would learn.

Yes, he can protect you himself from most predators, but he isn't always with you as he is a hunter.

However, if you can't learn any sort of damaging witchery, he's going to try and teach you nen. Whether or not you can even use nen in the first place is up to you, though it's highly unlikely you can. If you cannot use nen or your own magic to defend you, he's going to force you to follow him everywhere.

Killua is a highly targeted ex-assassin, sure he may not be in the business anymore, but his last name is a hit just waiting to happen.

He still treats you like he would any powerless partner, with respect, love, and trust, he just feels everthing x10 because he knows he can rely on you in case something goes wrong!

End!

[marky-iplier]

Hey! As a Muslim and a hijabi, I'm gonna explain why the hunie pop game is Islamophobic and why Mark should stop or even delete/remove the play through videos. I've done this on twitter but they're not pretty specific so here we go. BTW this is the link to my tweet about it

https://twitter.com/eef_iplier/status/1362316236588085256?s=19

As you know, Abia, a Muslim character in the game.

These are the reasons why her character is problematic:

Her persona, a lot of non-Muslims always say that our religion oppressed women because our hijabs. Repressed is synonym of oppressed. It's a main stereotype that Islamophobe always uses to attack or give hates to Muslims. Fyi, it's the person's choice to wear hijab or not, people can't force her to wear it. Most hijabis choose to wear hijabs not because they have to but hijabs are making them feel comfortable and safe. Hijab means cover, covering us from the people who wanted to sexualize us. Most hijabis wear hijab to prevent themselves getting sexualized not the opposite. The game satisfies those who has hijab as fetish, fetishzing hijabis are really really fucked up and disrespectful. It defeats the whole purpose on why most hijabis wear hijab. Yes, I know the religion tells Muslim women to wear hijab but in no way they are forced to wear it, it's their choice, people can't force them to wear one, but instead giving them the time to wear it. No one should or can force people to wear hijab. It's their choice. The religion doesn't tell people to force those who are not ready or doesn't want to wear it. This counts as stereotype because in a lot of shows, Muslim women are "oppressed" and will get freedom when they take off their hijab which is really messed up. Wearing hijab doesn't press us at all. Again. It's making us feel comfortable.

Try to connect us with terrorism. Why? Because the streotypes thaf already have been put in the game and her job as airport security which makes it related to 9/11 tragedy where a lot of people started to hate Muslims because they think that Muslims do that. Like, all of them. Most people even think that all Muslims are terrorists because of several events that not even Muslims do. Our religion doesn't allow violence. We only can fight back if our lives' are threatened. Also, one of her outfit which is 'Assasin' (Yes, that's the name of the outfit is Niqab which is this one

Naming it as assassin is more likely to associate her to terrorism. Just like hijab, niqab has its own purpose, covering face, hair, and their body. And also, no, no one's getting forced or pressed to wear it. It's their choice. Hijabis aren't oppressed for wearing niqab. burqa, and hijab. No. One. But again, these stereotypes that mostly white people assumed about us portrayed us badly. These streotypes are bad representation of Muslims. Beside, putting hijabis in porn game already a bad idea itself and also disrespecting. Hijabis are getting harmed and violated on public just because their hijabs and now people are fetishizing us. Hijab is and will never turning as fetish. And people who has it, need to realize fetishizing hijabis are disrespectful for not respecting the purpose of why most hijabis are wearing hijabs. Making it more normalized. I know the game is just again game, but some people or even most of them are taking them seriously and started to turn hijab as fetish. Playing the game makes you pay the devs who are making the game with messed up streotypes that have been hurting and violating Muslims. They're profitting money of the offensive and problematic game.

The more people play it, more people normalized the streotypes, more Muslims get hurt and violated because the streotypes.

To summarize:

The reason why Mark should stop continuing the series or even taking down the hp play through videos because he's promoting the game to his channel and making a lot of people who can't afford the game, enjoying the fetishization of Muslim. Also, normalizing these streotypes. It's also making most Muslims in his community feel uncomfortable. We can't ignore the videos if everytime we go to his channel, those videos will pop up. Not only that, some of his videos will get suggested too. Beside, we can't ignore islamophobia.

The playthrough videos of the game:

1. Making Muslims uncomfortable and we can't ignore it because every time we go to his channel those videos will pop up and also we'll get suggested of those videos

2. Normalizing the shitty stereotypes of Muslims

3. Making some people who can't afford the game is enjoying the fetishization of hijabis

4. Promoting the game, and making the devs who made the game with the shitty stereotypes and put a hijabi there to satisfy people who has hijab as fetish (Because it's a porn game about fetishes), getting profit from the game (Again, The more people play it, more people normalized the streotypes, more Muslims get hurt and violated because the streotypes)

That's all from me so I do hope Mark discontinue the game and even take down the other videos about it. Thank you for reading this, I hope all of you get educated on why this game is problematic and why Mark should stop discontinuing the playthrough. I'm sorry for ruining your enjoyment of the play through but this is harmful.

Also, no, I'm not cancelling Mark over this. I don't cancel the devs, but only dont want them to get profits off that one specific game. Although, they've made several racists jokes which makes them racists too but, I'm more focusing on the game.

I'm not cancelling Mark. I'm criticizing and suggesting him. I'm not the only one that suggest him to do this but a lot of other people too.

Please find the differences between criticizing/suggesting/holding someone accountable with hating/cancelling. They are huge differences.

Another note: we're not gonna forcing him or bashing on him for keep continuing the series but we only continue to criticize and suggest. Not cancel.

Edit: I'm sorry that some of my words might be not making sense, English isn't my first language and it almost 9 pm and I'm sleepy djnendn

[deathvsthemaiden]

Do you have any advice for ppl who’ve been in a reading slump since... 5 ever ? i love reading somehow it’s just harder to get into it these days :(

Omg for sure!! Here is a scrambled little list, I hope at least some of it helps:

📖 read in any format (ebook, physical book, audiobook) bc they’re all valid and make reading more accessible for people which is I think part of why ppl get hoity toity abt it. Ignore them. Also, I assume that if you wanna read, at least a large chunk of why is because you wanna have fun and consume stories yes? 😳 you can do that w/ any form of book, and any other reasons you might have to want to read, like expanding vocab or broadening ur horizons or learning to analyze books should be secondary. Focus on making it a fun and near-effortless/painless thing again and then u can graduate to those (I think that’ll come naturally tbh as long as you read semi-consistently) Fun comes First and I say that as a terrible English major 😗

📖 And with that in mind, read whatever you want, even if it’s simple or cringe or a reread or whatever because after completing the first few impulsive reads that you find engaging enough to finish completely, you can worry about reading what you think you “should” or what would benefit you specifically if that makes sense. Like I’m completely pro reading new things and not limiting urself to 1 genre but there’s no harm in taking your time moving onto things that don’t immediately pique ur interest. Get into the groove of things first, the criticism of ppl who are well past the target age market for YA but still exclusively consume it doesn’t apply to people who are trying to rediscover their love of reading imo.

📖 keep books nearby all the time! (All!!! The time!!!!) You might not actually read them 45/50 times that you bring them with you to places/keep them near you wherever u spend time at your house, but those 5 times will be bliss and you’ll thank yourself! Do it! Especially if ur open to ebooks and can read them on ur phone!

📖 put your phone somewhere far away on mute and force yourself to read for a specific chunk of pages or time. Very old person-ish advice but like. They’re onto smth when they tell us to do stuff like that, but they’re also way too smug and holier-than-thou about it so no need to tell any of them that! 🤫 but seriously be honest w/ urself if u have a compulsive notification checking problem and challenge yourself to overcome it long enough to meet a very small teensy tiny goal 🥅

📖 I juggle a lot of books at once and I’m constantly planning ahead in my brain when I do it, without consciously meaning to (library deadlines for digitized books are so strict 💔) And often I don’t end up following these plans perfectly, because following them perfectly isn’t the point, especially since life happens all the time and isn’t often very receptive when we wish we could forget everything and read for several straight hours. Reading shouldn’t be a burden, but the vague guidelines help. I think stuff like “tomorrow I’ll finish this poetry collection before bed” or “I’m gonna study and then read 2 chapters of this novel I’m rlly digging as a treat before continuing,” “I’m gonna listen to 4 chapters of this audiobook while I take a walk or do chores” etc etc. and usually I end up reading at least a little! And the best thing is when I read more than intended because the book is just that fun. I don’t write these plans down, but if it helps you to do so I urge you to anon :0 !! Just remember ur writing them on paper/a screen and not in stone, so you can always be flexible and change things around and you’re not by any means a failure for doing so. To be flexible w/ urself is most likely to ensure long term progress imo!

📖 speaking of juggling it’s absolutely fine to cycle through a ton of books and sometimes abandon them for months and come back when the whim strikes! If your memory is good enough and you prefer having a bunch of variety at all times, jump from book to book with reckless abandon! It legit doesn’t matter. Also don’t ever hesitate to drop a book if you’re not vibing it’s not worth it. Time is precious life is precious you’re doing this for fun, yes? Drop the book if you can’t bring yourself to care theres sooooo many more where it came from! Be merciless and picky!! It will pay off I promise, and to be that way is not antithetical to challenging yourself or stepping outside of your comfort zone unless you make it that way.

📖 buddy read/have an impromptu book club w/ someone. It doesn’t have to be official, and I’ve done this multiple times with people and sometimes we just don’t finish the book/meet our set goals and that’s a-okay! It’s still worth it to have someone to talk abt the book w/ and you guys can always pick up where you left off or try another book. Literally no stakes at all as long as everyone involved is chill and understanding <3

📖 set a reading goal you think you can manage by the end of the year! You might surprise yourself 😳 and if you don’t oh well! You’ll still have read at least a page in pursuit of said goal 🔎

📖 read short stories! The internet is full of them, and short story collections by multiple and singular authors are everywhere 📚

📖 do some searching and make a list of books that you’re extremely excited to read or really wanna revisit. And then pick your next reads from there! If you want recs for books or short stories you can always shoot me another ask or look at my goodreads (or goodreads in general)

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Lantern Lighting

Now we have the famous lantern scene, where everybody gets to express their character and have dates, ranging from disastrous to delightful, with the objects of their affection. 

Wei Wuxian continues to be ridiculously good at drawing. 

We’ve all seen Lan Wangji’s lovely first smile in the show a million times, so...let’s look at it again!

This scene is important not just because of the smile, but because there’s a distinct shift in the way they talk about their growing relationship. In the pond, it was “come visit me” and “never!” “I want to be your friend” “No need.” Basically Lan Wangji firmly saying no to Wei Wuxian’s offers of friendship.

This time, Wei Wuxian says “let’s do this together” and Lan Wangji says “I’m used to being alone,” which is not actually a No, just an explanation. And WWX says, you can change that. And then Lan Wangji DOES change it, sharing the lantern and the promise with Wei Wuxian.

Whoever painted this flower is even better than Wei Wuxian at plein air painting. 

(more after the cut!)

Everybody’s wishes

Nie Huasang makes a practical wish. Wen Qing prays for her brother and Jiang Cheng notices how she’s like Yanli. Jiang Cheng isn’t very intense about Wen Qing, which could be a sign of his shyness but could also be a sign of his gayness or aceness. After all, later in life he’s an apparently wealthy clan leader who is hot as fuck, and needs an heir, since his nephew is a Jin. But he’s still not married, 16 years after breaking up with and uh, helping to kill and cremate, the girl he liked in summer school.

The Promise We Made Together

Wei Wuxian makes an ultra-idealistic wish/promise while Lan Wangji watches and falls the rest of the way in love with him, and silently makes the same pledge inside his head. Later they will each refer to this as a promise they made together, which is a really super high level of face-reading by Wei Wuxian, to understand that he really is speaking for both of them here.  While making this promise, Lan Wangji brings out his Yin Iron Magic Bag and waves it around in front of everyone, but nobody notices. 

Let’s take a moment to consider *why* this moment is so powerful for Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is a boy whose emotions are always on the boil. He’s 100% upset all the time, at this age, and he keeps it clamped down all the time. His cultivation level is probably as high as it is partly because of all the work he does in emotion regulation. (note: if you haven’t read all the meta at @howpeacefulislwj​ , go read it; it’s awesome and hilarious)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t GAF about emotion regulation; he just expresses what he feels, all the damn time. 

He is openly bored, lusty, playful, hungry, whiny. He straight up tells Lan Wangji “you’re boring and you have a stick up your ass” as part of saying he wants to be friends; no deference and also no falseness.  

And he can see right through Lan Wangji’s reserve, barging into his loneliness and isolation without any regard for all of his wards. Wards are made to be broken.

(Unrelated note: Young Lan Wangji's rare moments of contentment seem to come from looking at something beautiful--the moon, falling petals, these lanterns, his mirror.)

But Wei Wuxian is also good. Lan Wangji desperately wants to be good. And here’s Wei Wuxian embodying this awful, amazing, tempting alternative path, in which all the interesting things in life get explored thoroughly, all the sweetness and beauty gets consumed unreservedly, all the pain and ugliness gets confronted and endured without hesitation. 

In this moment, Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji “you can change,” and then offers up this prayer/promise that is just pure chivarly, speaking straight to Lan Wangji’s heart. Very simply, I want to spend my life doing right. Not 3500 rules; just one.

This infuriating boy, who breaks rules and who flirts indiscriminately and who pushes and pushes and pushes, reveals himself in this moment to be a hero at the beginning of his journey, and Lan Wangji sees it, and his heart goes right over the cliff.

The Girls’ Room

The girl cultivators all rush over to Yanli to get in her business about her betrothal, inspiring Jin Zixuan to act like a jerk to her and get even further onto Wei Wuxian’s bad side. 

Talk Shit, Get Hit

Yanli’s wish was that Wei Wuxian would grow up and be good. He promptly launches his own personal Sunshot campaign, punching her fiancee so hard that the sun falls out of the sky and the previously well-lit scene transitions to full night.

So, in English, “don’t mention it again” is really mild, akin to “I don’t want to talk about it.” Wei Wuxian’s reaction makes it seem like Jin Zixuan said something really shitty, like “don’t you dare mention that woman to me!” So I’m assuming something is being lost in translation. 

Lan Wangji tries to calm him down. He grabs Wei Wuxian’s sexy arm muscle and basically holds it until the Jiangs exit the scene. 

Nie Huaisang has placed himself between the opposing factions, which is unusually direct of him. In the future he’ll stick to being an unindicted co-conspirator when Wei Wuxian starts trouble. 

Ants in my Pants

Lan Wangji thinks kneeling can make Wei Wuxian cry, which is adorable of him. 

He really relishes this opportunity to be a pedantic tool to his new boyfriend that annoying boy he hardly ever touches, and it really doesn’t work out for him, poor lamb.

Jiang Fengmian stops by to show exactly how deep his affection for Wei Wuxian runs, and to give him whiplash from constantly changing parental expectations. In a couple of hours he’ll be laughing over WWX & JC’s hijinks.

Wei Wuxian takes this opportunity to fantasize about bad things happening to the other boy in the fight, which is in no way foreshadowing of anything.

Douche Dads Conference

We now convene this meeting of the douchebag council. Jiang Cheng is also invited even though he’s a prick, not a douche. <--important distinction

This is our first time meeting Clan Leader Jin Guangshan. He's actually the most sensible and best parent in this scene, but his smug self-satisfaction hints at his true nature. This actor, Shen Xiaohai, has been active in cdramas for a long while now. I wonder what he looked like 15 years ago?

...Holy mother of god.

Jiang Fengmian is the worst dad and the worst husband here. His clan believes in letting children do what they want - uhh YOUR child wants to marry Jin Zixuan. “I wrote a letter to her mother, who arranged this marriage.” Uhhh she arranged for her sickly, low-cultivation-level, sweet and vulnerable child to marry the heir of a rich and powerful clan, with a powerful mother-in-law who’s looking forward to loving and protecting her. Basically she’s guaranteed her daughter’s safety and comfort, and even potential happiness, since her husband may learn to appreciate her (and in fact, does, thanks to soup and repeated beatings from WWX).

Mom worked hard and probably spent a fair amount of social capital to achieve this. And you’re going to toss that aside because the boy thinks he’s too good for her? What the everloving fuck, how are you a clan leader in the first place? 

You can see that Jiang Cheng understands all of this and what a terrible choice his father is making here. 

So do the other adults in the room.

Jin Guangshen: our wives are going to kill us

Lan Qiren: I'm looking at a couple of dead men

Jiang Fengmian pointedly won’t listen to Jiang Cheng or let him speak, showing that all his talk about being free is actually bullshit, that only applies to other people’s children.

Jiang Chang vaults off of the deck to tell Wei Wuxian about it. Hottt

Sorry Sis

Wei Wuxian goes to Jiang Yanli to sorta-apologize and sorta ask to be let off the hook for fucking up her engagement, which he absolutely did. He knows it, which is presumably why he bows to her in paperman form while hiding outside.

At no time has Jiang Yanli indicated to anyone that she doesn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan, as far as I can see, or said she wanted to be defended from insults with punching. Look how good SHE is at defending a person from insults, for comparison.

Yin Iron Blah Blah Blah

The senior Lans meet with Jiang Fengmian  to talk about the Yawn Yin Iron. Yawn. 

Jiang Fengmian addresses Lan Xichen as Lan Gongzi, which is adorable, since he is a big boy to everyone else. His family calls him Xichen and other people call him Zewu-Jun.

Farewell and Fuck You

The three Jiang kids come to say goodbye.

Lan Quiren says goodbye with a heap of criticism for Wei Wuxian and the horse he rode in on, and Jiang Fengmian basically says, yep, that’s what he’s like, all right.  

Good thing Wei Ying gets so much verbal abuse at home he doesn’t take it very hard when he finds it in the field. 

Wangji doesn’t say goodbye properly, which will be a recurring theme for the two of them.

I don’t know if this is because he has a problem with goodbyes, or is just being a jerk, or because he’s so bad at lying he doesn’t dare talk to Wei Wuxian lest he reveal his travel plans. 

Indulgent Dad Continues to be the Worst

Jiang Cheng complains at Wei Wuxian for wanting to say goodbye to Lan Wangji, and WWX says he likes him because he is equal to WWX in fighting, whereas JC sucks. JC hits him tries to hit him--gosh, he DOES suck, comparatively. 

Yanli, who has been keeping these boys in line all summer, sighs deeply at her Dad’s tolerance for their hijinks. OP has five brothers and this sibling-hijinks behavior is 100% accurate, except for the part where it is happening at someone else’s house in front of the hosts. 

WWX pretending to be Lan Qiren where Lan Wangji can see him doing it, in front of Lan Qiren’s colleague and supposed friend, and just earning a laugh from the patriarch? Good lord.  Dad Jiang tolerating this is shocking, particularly in the in-show culture where corporal punishment is as common as tea. 

We’ve tried Nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!

Uggghh why are you like this?

Here in the real world, OP uses “positive discipline” with her child, and encourages other parents to consider it, particularly if your child is neuroatypical or asynchronous.  That said, JF should be punishing the crap out of both boys for this behavior every time it happens, or should quit being a clan leader.  He’s relying on Jiang Yanli to keep them in line while he gets to just be amused by them. And he’s letting Lan Qiren discipline Wei Wuxian instead of doing it himself. He suuuuuuucks. 

Lan Wangji watches all of this. Lan Xichen reminds Lan Wangji that without Wei Wuxian, he’s completely fucking miserable. Lan Wangji still doesn’t plan to bring him along on his trip, though.

Time to return to our lives of crushing loneliness

Rabbits

At this same moment when Lan Wangji is staring down the barrel of future loneliness, Wei Wuxian is already deciding to leave the (forbidden) rabbits in Cloud Recesses “In case Lan Zhan gets lonely.”  This small decision by Wei Wuxian - breaking the rules of Cloud Recesses for the millionth time - is kinder than he knows. Because what is the job of these rabbits? Let’s have a desaturated flashback. 

Lan Zhan spent 3 years in the ice cave. The rabbits kept Lan Yi company in the ice cave. So...did the rabbits sneak in to keep Lan Wangji company in the ice cave as well? I’m going to say yes. By ep 43 they are following him to the gate of Cloud Recesses so they are very attached to him.  Well done, Wei Ying.

Where my bitches at? Seriously, our warren needs bitches

(Is Watership Down still a thing people read? If not, just go ahead and assume all of OP’s rabbit jokes are about Watership Down because OP ain’t going to stop making them)

While Wei Wuxian annoys the bunny he has a flashback to the scene that happened 4 minutes earlier. The Untamed editors assume the viewership has the attention span of a goldfish, and I personally appreciate that they understand me so well.

Wei Wuxian figures out that Lan Wangji is going on the road alone, and tells the bunny immediately. The bunny is very concerned.

Writing Prompt: What do next-generation cultivators Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi wish for at lantern-lighting time?

[billiedeanhwrd]

when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air

cordelia goode x fem!reader

summary: your depression is hitting you harder than most days, cordelia comforts you 🤍

warnings: depression, slight mention of childhood trauma, it's angsty mental health fluff basically

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is my first ever fanfic and i'm very very nervous about it, so pls don't be too harsh, constructive criticism is very much welcome though!! also i'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. i also have to add that this was very much self indulgent and based on my own experience with depression, so if you don't relate, that's fine, everyone experiences it differently. I hope you enjoy it tho, have fun reading <3

today was one of those days again. one of those days where everything seemed grey and pointless. one of those days where taking a shower was too exhausting. one of those days where it didn't matter if you left your clothes on the floor or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. one of those days where you isolated yourself. one of those days that seemed to return to you every morning for almost 3 weeks now.

you had been struggling with depression for years now and attending therapy regularly still didn't take away from the embarrassment you felt about your illness. cordelia didn't know, you didn't want to burden her with your subjectively "silly" problems. It wasn't easy hiding something so life consuming from your lover, but whenever you were with her you felt as though you could reach for the stars and there was no point in ruining happy moments with sad stories.

Whenever you felt really depressed and unable to function, you isolated yourself. Cordelia and you had been together for 7 months now and the first time she thought she had done something wrong which had resulted in you needing space from her, but when she confronted you, you reassured her that sometimes you needed some time to yourself because you were a more introverted person. While that might be true, you wanted nothing more than for her to take you into her arms and tell you everything was going to be okay again, but the fear of possibly burdening the already very busy supreme held you back from confessing what was weighing you down.

you were used to this already, you always kept your darkness to yourself, too afraid of being too much or being abandoned by your loved ones, while the rational side of you knew that the people in your life who truly meant something to you would never abandon you because of your chronic depression, anxiety left no room for rationality.

you were always feeling kind of down, but some days it was easier to cope and enjoy your day despite that... and then there were those phases where you felt unusually down, those phases that caused you to isolate yourself and wait for the storm to pass in solitude. They usually lasted only a few days or maximum a week, but this one had been going on for much longer. cordelia was worried, you had never needed so much "alone time to recharge your social battery", but she didn't want to overstep your boundaries and possibly push you away, because what you weren't aware of was that cordelia too struggled with abandonment issues and fearing she would be "too much" (which she could never be for you, you adored every single second you could spend in the blonde witch's presence).

After leaving multiple text messages and trying to call you, only to be greeted by your voicemail, cordelia took it upon herself to see what was going on with you. The knocking on your door would've usually startled you, but you had just ordered a pizza, too tired to prepare a meal yourself and assumed the delivery was faster than they had stated on their website. your jaw fell open and the door was quickly closed again, shit shit shit, what am i supposed to do now? the place looks like a mess, i can't let cordelia se-

"y/n can you open the door please?" she asked in her gentle voice. "Uh, yeah, give me a second" you replied, hastily throwing on a hoodie that had been lying around on your couch, coincidentally that hoodie being one you stole from cordelia a few weeks ago, something that made your girlfriend's heart warm up a little and relieve her of some of the worried thoughts she had that this might be your way of signaling to her that you no longer wished to be in a relationship with her.

"can we talk? i haven't seen you in three weeks and you haven't answered any of my texts... what's going on? you know you can talk to me about anything..."

"uhm, yes, of course. sit down, make yourself at home, would you like anything to drink?"

"no, thank you, i just want to talk to you"

you didn't have the energy to lie to the woman who held your heart in her hands anymore, you were terrified of her reaction, not only to you being mentally ill but also to you hiding it for so long.

"i'm so sorry delia, please don't be mad", you anxiously stuttered out. cordelia grabbed your hand and smiled reassuringly, signaling for you to continue talking.

"I didn't tell you before because i know you've already got so much going on with the academy and i didn't want to pile onto that with my irrelevant issues... I was diagnosed with depression amongst other things a few years ago, it's something i have to deal with every day and some days are easier than others, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me and i feel like i'm lost in an ocean of a sadness so powerful, i can feel the pain on my body. I know it can be challenging to be close to someone with severe mental issues and I understand if you don't want to continue being with me, i would never want you to stay with me because you pity me or because you're afraid i'd do something to myself if you'd left, you're not responsible for my feelings or actions and i would never want to impose you with such a burden and-"

you stopped rambling when you noticed the tears flowing down cordelia's cheeks.

your eyes widened and your heart started pounding rapidly in your chest. "i'm sorry, was that too much?"

"no, no, no, no, no... it just pains me to know that you've been dealing with this on your own for such a long time because you don't value yourself enough to believe that other people might want to support you through your everyday battles. y/n, i know you, you're the girl who's always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, anytime, anyplace, you always go out of your way to make others feel seen and accepted, why would you ever think that you don't deserve the kindness you so openly give to others?"

now it was you who was crying, cordelia was right, you didn't value yourself enough to believe that. you didn't actively think of yourself as less than others but that thought always unconsciously motivated the way you dealt with the things that were bothering you.

cordelia patted her lap, signaling for you to sit on her lap and come into her arms. you hesitated though, you weren't used to being so vulnerable and open with your emotions and it scared the shit out of you. you feared cordelia was possibly annoyed at you and was only doing this to get it over with and then get out. she watched you, while you were anxiously deciding what your next move would be, her heart broke for you, you looked like a scared baby dear when all she wanted to do was to comfort you.

"baby, look at me"

her chocolate colored eyes were so full of love, simply looking into them managed to get your heart rate down.

"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for talking about your feelings and all i want to do right now is to hug some of your pain away, so please, let me hold you"

you melted at her gentle words and understanding nature, cordelia was an incredibly smart woman, who went through traumatic things herself and even from that little information you shared, she understood you. she saw her younger self in you, so incredibly lonely but oh, so scared of being vulnerable with another person, due to the emotional abuse her mother subjected her to, and while she might not have gone through the same things you did, she felt like she understood your feelings in this exact moment and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe with her.

you slowly crawled into her lap, still afraid this was all a trick to hurt you, but when she started combing through your hair and reassuringly whispering "i've got you" and "you're here with me, i promise you, you're safe", you relaxed into her arms.

after about half an hour of laying there with each other, calming down and enjoying the other one's warmth, you spoke up.

"delia?"

"yes, my love?"

"so you're not leaving me?", you hesitantly asked.

cordelia sat up and looked straight in your eyes while asking "would you leave someone you love because they're depressed?"

"no, never"

"then tell me, sweetheart, why would i leave you?"

her response left you speechless, you almost missed her confessing her love. "you love me?"

she hugged you tight and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "more than anything, and please, never worry about telling me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, no matter what it is, i wanna know, okay?"

you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding and confidently replied "okay"

a few minutes passed before you spoke up again when you remembered you didn't say those 3 special words back.

"i love you too, by the way"

cordelia smiled lovingly and stood up to reach out for your hand and pull you up. "i know, now let's go to bed, we can clean up this place tomorrow"

you accepted her helping hand and engulfed her in a hug. the way she so naturally used the word "we" and didn't seem to mind helping you clean up your mess of an apartment made you more emotional than you'd like to admit.

And while you knew this would not be the last time you were overwhelmed by your depression, you now knew that you could count on the woman who loved you to stand by your side and help you get through even your hardest day.

[fagundescamila]

Power Couple #7 (Severus Snape x Reader)

Heeeeeello again! I'm sorry it took so long again! I promiss I'll try harder to update the story faster 😅

Some reminders: english is not my native language, so expect errors and if you asked to be tagged but weren't, send me a message and I'll try to fix it on the upcoming chapters

Tagzzz: @lizlil @misselsbells06 @mitchiesdungeon @sleepiesapphicxoxo @severuslovebot

As soon as they left the room, Severus' mind started to race and he thought about what he would say and the awkward silence that would inevitably fall upon them while they walked towards the dungeons.

But again, as it always seemed to happen to his impressions about their interactions, he was wrong. 

"It's so weird to talk to all of them without feeling judged or under evaluation…" Y/N commented. 

"Your former teachers, you mean?" He asked, almost relieved by the fact that they had just so easily started a conversation. 

"Yes! They seemed weirdly interested!" 

"It happens whenever they see old students. It was like that with me, when I started teaching here, then with Lupin…"

"What do you mean by 'old', may I ask you?" She asked, pretending to be offended. 

"I didn't mean… After all, I'm..." He turned to her as they reached the corridor that led to the potions' room. 

"I know, Severus! I'm just teasing." Y/N laughed. Snape chuckled and shook his head. 

As they were about to enter the classroom, they heard some hurried steps behind them and, right after that, someone calling for Y/N. Severus recognized Hermione's inquisitive tone without having to turn around. He rolled his eyes in annoyance before facing the girl. 

"Sorry to bother, Y/N! And you too, Professor Snape…" Hermione hesitantly said. Y/N smiled at her and signalized for her to go on and Snape had to fight the urge to roll his eyes again. "But I wanted to ask you something! I was wondering if you had any recommendations on books about Defense Against the Dark Arts." 

"Oh, I see!" Y/N said, impressed by the girl's attitude. "Since you're asking, I assume you covered all the titles recommended for the school year, am I right?" Hermione confirmed with a shy nod. "Okay, so I'm going to make some not-so-obvious recommendations, since it seems you already dominate the basics, is that ok?" Another nod. "I'd say you look for Confronting the Faceless…" At that Severus couldn't help but be impressed. "Quentin's bibliography is also really good, I think you probably have already read some of his books, but it's always a good choice and…I probably shouldn't…"

"Please do! I'd love any recommendation, really!" The girl asked. 

"Alright. This will sound a bit unorthodox, but you're a clever witch!" Y/N stated and Hermione smiled proudly. "I'll recommend that you look for the Dark Arts basic theories and practices. Search for books like Secrets of the Darkest Art, Confringo Spellbok and Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed… That's a fair starting point, I believe." Y/N then looked intensely at the girl that seemed in shock. "Don't get me wrong! I'm only recommending this 'cause I believe in your good intentions and I know that you'll only get to read them if one of your Professors allow it. I know it sounds weird, but I have this theory that in order to fight something, you have to understand it first. Trust me, if you know how a spell works, it's easier to learn a counterspell, if you know the poison, you can make an antidote and so on!"

"I see! You're absolutely right! Thank you so much!" Hermione said, already looking forward to her next study sessions. 

"Anytime!" Y/N smiled. "Just be a little critical with those readings and keep foccused on your actual goal, these books can be very persuasive sometimes…"

"Don't worry, I'll keep that in mind! Thanks again!" She was about to leave, but refrained herself. "Professor Snape, would you… write that permission for me?"

"I'll think about it, Miss Granger." He said with an eyebrow raised, but there was something in his tone that gave her some hope and she left with a smile.

"Did I just put you in an awkward situation?" Y/N asked, her tone and smile already asking for an apology.

"You mean making an insufferable teenager start bothering me about books? As if they didn't annoy me enough?" He asked sarcastically, which made her chuckle. Severus smiled at himself, almost proud of the fact that somehow - he didn't know exactly - he seemed to always make her laugh.

"My bad… But you can always refuse to let her read those books…" She said as they entered the room. "I mean… They are a bit disturbing, but…"

"I know… But I agree with everything you said to her… It's an unusual study approach, but it works. And if there's any student I would ever allow to read those kind of books at a young age, it would be Granger…" He said sitting at his desk to write the permission. "But you never heard me say it." 

"My lips are sealed." She smiled at him, amused by the way he tried to appear cold and distant to his students when he actually cared about them. "So, those essays…" She started, leaning against the table, looking at his writing. 

"Yes, I read them and got quite intrigued by that one with the brazilian herb…" He took a moment to process the fact that she was so nonchalantly standing really close to him. It wasn't exactly intimidating, but he felt his cheeks burning, so he decided not to look at her. "I actually did some experiments of my own…"

"Really?" She sounded impressed, which made him smile a bit and raise his head to see her amused face. "Can I see?"

Severus struggled with himself, debating if he would share his experiments with someone or keep them private, as he always did. He didn't know if he actually trusted the woman in front of him or if he just wanted to impress her, but he was inclined to show her his studies. 

"You don't have to, though." Y/N was quick to say, seeing he wasn't sure about showing his work. "I mean…" But Severus didn't let her finish.

"Come." He said getting up, a smirk on his face as he led her to his private chambers behind the classroom. He held the door open for her and she entered his living room. 

"So this is where a Hogwarts' Professor stays during the school year." She said taking a look around. 

"A potion master, yes." He confirmed. "It was Slughorn's chambers before me." 

"I see! It's nice! I mean… to have a house inside Hogwarts." She trailed off.

"It is, I guess…" He went to the kitchen and signalized for her to follow. With a wave of his hand he made the water in the tea kettle start to boil. "Fancy some tea?"

"Sure!" Y/N said, with a smile. Another wave of his hand and two cups of perfectly brewed tea were ready. "Okay, you gotta be kidding me, right? You're a potion master, so you make better tea than the rest of us, mere mortals, is that so? Are you an amazing cook as well? That's so cliché, Severus…" 

Severus laughed lightly and opened the door to his personal lab, allowing her to enter before him. "I don't know about the cooking…" 

"I don't believe you." She teased. "But that's a topic for some other time, let's see what you've been working on! I just have to remind you that I probably won't understand a single thing about your experiments."

"Now I don't believe you." He teased back and allowed himself a smirk, one that she couldn't see because his lips were hiding behind the cup of tea. Severus approached one of the cauldrons that was covered by a heavy cover. "I began by reproducing the author's recipe, which turned out quite well… The effects of the herb she mentioned really perform as she predicted. The calming draught that resulted is basically as effective as the original one." Snape explained as Y/N stepped closer to take a look at the potion. He observed her features as she seemed to really pay attention and for a moment or two, he forgot to continue. "But then I figured that, since this herb can replace a large number of ingredients, it meant that, there should be a way of making this potion stronger by the use of other supplementing elements." He then took the cover from three smaller cauldrons. "I've been able to manage some minor advances, but there are some ingredients missing in Hogwarts' storage."

"Really? Rare ones?" Y/N asked, still looking intensely at the potions, amazed by his progress. 

"Some of them, yes. But mostly foreing insumes." Severus explained.

"Do you have a list? I could check the Ministry lab and storage and fetch you some of them, if they happen to be available there." She said looking up to face him, Snape raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Severus, the Ministry has more ingredients than we care to use. I'm sure no one will even notice some of them are missing. And even if they do, as head of the department, I'm in charge of the storage." She shrugged. "It's better that you use it than to let everything rot inside the aurors' cabinets."

"In that case, I can make a list and send it over to your office." Severus said. "Thank you."

"Oh, don't thank me!" Y/N tried to suppress a smile. "It's not like it's gonna be free of charges, you know…"

"No?" Somehow, he couldn't take her seriously. 

"Definitely not." She took a sip from her tea. "You didn't think I would simply give you the ingredients, did you?" Y/N had this almost devious smirk playing at her lips as she watched Severus become more and more confused. "I mean, I have to see your list to know the actual price, but I'm guessing that at the very least, you're gonna have to buy me some drinks."

Snape almost choked on his tea. Was she really implying what he thought she was? Sooner that afternoon he was thinking about possible ways to ask her out and gave up on that idea because it seemed completely ridiculous and here she was, making it look like a joke.

"Is that so? That's how the Ministry charges for potions' supplies?" He managed to ask, trying with all his might to sound nonchalant.

"Hey, I don't make the rules…" She feigned innocence. "If you still want those ingredients, send me the list tomorrow and we can discuss the payment later." She shrugged again. "You know better, of course, but I'd say a dinner is a fair price considering you'll get to develop your researches."

"I'm sorry, did you say dinner?" He asked, already playing along. "I thought you said earlier it was just some drinks…" His sarcasm was finally being put to good use against her.

"I believe I said 'at least' some drinks. Who knows? Those ingredients can be really expensive sometimes…"

"Right…" Snape said, trying to keep the serious façade. 

"Anyway… If you still want them, send me an owl with your list and I'll see what I can do." She said finishing her tea.

"I'll think about it…" Now he was just trying not to agree with going out with her right away. 

"Of course you will." She chuckled. "I guess I'll leave you to your thoughts for the night then! It's getting late... Can I use your floo network?" Severus nodded and led the way to his living room. 

"I'll send you the list tomorrow." Severus said as he watched her step into the fireplace. 

"Good!" Y/N smiled at him. "Bye, Severus!" With that, she left his chambers in the green flames brought by the floo powder. 

Severus stared at the empty fireplace for sometime, thinking about the nonsense of everything that happened.

For some reason, he didn't seem capable to stop smiling for the rest of the night.

[minghaocouture]

Pairing: Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader Genre: Collage AU, Fluff, the tiniest angst Warning: Minor self esteem issues (from reader), Language WC: 2.9K

A/N: @woozisnoots​​ my sweetie baby! This is your Holiday gift from me!! I wub yoooou and i hope you like this <333 The song mentioned in the fic is Tell me you love me by Bolbbalgan4 and i actually just kept listening to it on repeat while writing this lol, it’s such a cute song, and all the italic words are song lyrics (the english translations)! Also yes i shamelessly name dropped our friend group in this, don’t judge me

“You don’t accept my hi as usual I know you’re popular and handsome  but you’ve always given the cold shoulder Only to me.” 

The lyrics flowed easily from your lips and into the microphone, eyes closed as you felt the vibes of the chorus and attempted to put the right layers of emotion into the song as you did so. The instrumental paused just as the chorus ended you heard the familiar sound of your partner through the headphones.

“Can you run that one more time. Hold that last note a bit longer, and make the staccato in the first beginning a bit sharper.” On the other side of the glass sat Lee Jihoon, and the brains behind the operation despite this being a partnered project. At the beginning of this, you never would have thought that the two of you would have been working together so well. Not with how the project began. 

You gave him an affirmation of your understanding and he began from the end of the pre-chorus, letting the melody and his test vocals fill your ears just before you began again.

When you had first been assigned partners, you were less than enthused. Sure, you had a major crush on Jihoon, his passion for music inspired you and you always loved watching him in class when he would perform. But, he was notoriously a rather critical partner. During the last partnered project in class a close friend of yours, Binu, had been assigned to work with him. She ended up confessing that she didn’t really get too much of a say on anything and that Jihoon did the project mostly by himself. Needless to say, she was much happier with this project being partnered with your mutual friend Mar. 

The recording session wrapped up nicely and you began packing your things as you realized how late it was in the evening and your friends would start to get concerned if they didn’t hear back from you. So you pulled your phone from your bag and quickly messaged your group chat to let them know the situation. As you went to place your bag over your shoulder you heard the familiar sound of a stomach growling.

Your eyes quickly scanned the room and watched Jihoon sigh and sit back down at the recording booth, his laptop still open but he didn’t look like he had any intention of leaving to get sustenance. Much to your own surprise you decided to speak up.

“Hey, I was planning on grabbing some dinner. Did...you wanna come too? We’ve been here for a while and we could probably use some food.” You suggested, an inviting smile plastered itself onto your face. You hoped it didn’t seem fake, after all you had invited Jihoon to eat before and he had always denied the offer. 

Much like all previous times, you saw his rather small head shake in denial.

“Nah, I’ve got some stuff to finish up here. I’ll probably grab something before heading back to my dorms...or maybe I’ll ask Mingyu to pick me up some dinner.” You’d heard about Mingyu before, his roommate who he says he tolerates but you can tell that he does really care about the guy from how he talks about it. 

Most people say that Jihoon is hard to read and closed off, but you know they’re wrong. He just...emotes differently, he has his own ways of showing affection and you can see it in his eyes and the little things he does and says. Being around him like this has honestly only made your crush worse. 

“Well, alright, but you better eat something and go home tonight. I don’t wanna come back here tomorrow and see you in this same outfit cause you haven’t gone home.” Which...had happened on more than one occasion during this project.

He shrugged, not turning back to face you.

“I brought extra clothes this time.”

***

“Seriously? I can’t believe he said no again! Ugh, I hate him and you deserve better than to pine after that short stack!” Rolling your eyes as you listened to Krys ranting once again. 

Since Jihoon refuted your invitation you decided to invite out your best friends. The 5 of you heading to a nearby fried chicken place, crowding into the booth that your friend group had basically claimed (when it was available at least) 

“It’s fine Krys, he’s just really into his work. He’s probably going to be in the studio editing until all hours of the morning.” You explained before shoving some of the complimentary salad into your mouth as you took a break from the chicken itself. “I might even take him some food before I head back to the dorms.”

“Nu-uh! I’m not letting you! That boy doesn’t even talk to you outside of class, he doesn’t deserve your time or your energy!” Krys exclaimed.

“I mean, he kinda does. Talk to her, I mean he waved at her last week.” Maya brought up in between her unsuccessful attempts at stealing the rest of the table’s pickled radish. “We were walking to the lounge and she saw him and waved at him, and he finally waved back.”

“Oh what, after ignoring her for a whole semester? Real nice of him. My best friend deserves better!” She declared, aggressively taking another bite of her chicken before continuing. “If I weren’t already dating the best man in the whole world, I would just date you myself.”

This brought the rest of the table another fit of laughter. It was never a dull moment in your friend group and you were always grateful that you had them in your life. 

“This just in, Krys won’t leave big dick Wonwoo so her best friend can have a good relationship.” Mar joked, cackling at the thought. The laughter seemed to get worse when she realized that Wonwoo himself had just walked up to the table to set down a drink refill for Binu. The male’s face was flushed red, obviously having heard the conversation. Which prompted another round of joyful laughter from the group.

It was a good night, but your mind still drifted back to Jihoon, who was most likely still sitting alone in the studio, hungry yet still hard at work. As the conversation drifted away from you finally, you got Wonwoo’s attention and ordered a small meal for take out with a plan to deliver the food before returning home. Even if Krys would give you shit for it.

***

“Jihoon, it’s me” You knocked on the studio door as you entered, assuming you wouldn’t be interrupting anything since you saw the light on but heard now sounds from inside. Surprisingly, or rather unsurprisingly, you got no response as you entered. Simply making your way in despite any acknowledgement.

The more surprising thing was what you found once you entered. There, still sitting in the rolly chair with his head firmly planted on the desk in front of his work laptop was Lee Jihoon. Fast asleep, small snores leaving his frame as he dreamed. It would honestly be pretty cute if it weren’t for the fact that you knew this was probably happening because of how much he overworked himself. 

You let out a small sigh, placing the bag on the small coffee table in the room (you didn’t want to set it on the desk with all the equipment) and grabbed his jacket that he had tossed onto the nearby sofa before draping it over his shoulders. You couldn’t really do much more for him without lifting the male up and transferring him to the couch, and you were pretty sure he would wake up if you even attempted that. 

“Night Jihoon.” With that final goodbye you exited the room and returned back to your dorm to get some homework done for a few of your other classes.

It was about 2:30 the next morning when your phone vibrated, indicating a message. Sparing a glance to the device you read the familiar name ‘Lee Jihoon’ as the sender. The message was no more than a simple “Thank you.” but that was good enough for you.

***

As you expected, even being the harmony vocals for the song Jihoon’s talent far outshined your main vocals. You weren’t upset or anything, but you were definitely starting to regret letting him talk you into the main vocal position for this project. You didn’t even really have any commentary to or feedback to give him. His voice fit the song perfectly and you could feel the emotion in his words as he sang. 

When he exited the booth and took a seat on the sofa to take a break you spoke up.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t be the one leading the song?” You questioned, head tilted to the side a bit as you watched him gulp down a bottle of water. Your words took him off guard and he fixed you with a rather confused look, so you continued. “I mean, you have such a great voice and I really think you capture the emotion in the song better than I do. So like…”

“What are you talking about?” He cut off your ramblings before you could continue, his eyes staring intently into your own. “You have an amazing voice, I’m literally blown away anytime you step into the booth. It’s part of the reason I was glad we got partnered for this project.”

It was almost as if your brain had short circuited, you didn’t know what to say. He had never spoken about your singing like that before, much less admit that he was...glad you were his partner. A part of you worried that he was lying just to spare your feelings, but the logical part knew that Jihoon wasn’t someone who would waste the energy to do that. 

“Let me put it this way,” he began again. “If I didn’t think you were doing a good job, if i thought your vocals would get us points docked off, then I wouldn’t have let you sing the Main. Got it?” His gaze seemed to pierce right to your very soul and you couldn’t find it in yourself to argue back and decided to just take his word for it. So you simply nodded a response.

It seemed that Jihoon wasn’t done surprising you tonight, as a smile so tender made its way onto his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you looked into his eyes, you could feel the heat rushing to your face and you prayed that he couldn’t hear the loud throbbing of your heart as he watched you. 

The moment was soon broken by the loud blaring of a familiar pop song, Jihoon’s face dropping at the sound. He quickly grabbed his phone off of the coffee table and put it up to his ear. You decided to be polite and at least try not to listen in, pulling out your own phone and messaging the group chat to see what was up.

“What do you want, Mingyu?” He began, definitely sounding more irritated than before he had taken the call. You couldn’t hear the voice on the other end but from the gumbling that left Jihoon’s lips you wouldn’t have been surprised if his roommate was pushing his buttons for whatever reason.

“No. I’m not and you need to stop asking. I’m working right now.” He paused for a moment, his voice lowering to almost a whisper as if that would make you unable to hear him. “Yes, she’s here too, so stop asking. Mingy-” He groaned as the male on the other end seemed to cut him off, you weren’t too sure with what but now you could vaguely hear the loud voice of his roommate on the line and couldn’t help laughing softly. The sound causing Jihoon’s eyes to flicker over to you, causing your heart to skip a beat as you quickly tried to make it seem like you were just laughing at something on your phone. 

“Shut it. We’ll talk when I get home...yes i’m coming back tonight!” With an irritated sigh, Jihoon ended the call. You weren’t sure he gave Mingyu any time to give a farewell but if you were being honest the conversation had been pretty amusing. 

Setting his phone down on the couch, Jihoon let out a sigh and ran a hand through his thick black locks. A silence falling over the two of you as you typed away on your phone, trying not to make eye contact again. You were so engrossed with your act you didn’t even hear when Jihoon stood from the couch and made his way over to the chair you were currently occupying. 

“Before we call it, could you re-record from the bridge to the end. When I was editing it last night there was some feedback so I wanted to get a better recording.”

“Oh, um yeah sure!” You weren’t sure why he hadn’t mentioned that before, and you didn’t recall hearing any feedback from your vocals when he was recording. But still, you took him at his word and entered the small recording booth once again. 

“I’ll start from just before the bridge.” He said over the speakers once your headphones were pulled snuggly over your ears. You cleared your throat and took a deep breath before nodding and signaling him to start.

“I really like you a lot But do you think we can’t be together? I feel small in my school uniform skirt Looking big on me, Yeah The tall, pretty girls are all around you.  Oh whoa~”

Getting through the bridge you poured your emotions into it. Thinking about your feelings for Jihoon and the longing for him to feel the same for you. Honestly, through this whole process the song the two of you had written was so...cathartic for you. Expressing things you never verbalized, how despite your attempts Jihoon never really spoke to you outside of class but he always seemed so kind when you were working. Or how, because of his looks and his talent he seemed to be surrounded by girls who thought he was wonderful. 

“If you like me, or you love me Just say yes, yes, yes And then I’m your girlfriend And your my boyfriend Tell me you like me.”

The last few chords streamed through your headphones and a silence fell over the room. Just as you were about to take the headphones off you heard a voice come through, the familiar voice of your partner and crush.

“I like you...a lot.” 

You froze like a deer in headlights, almost positive that you had misheard him. Eyes quickly landing on him, watching him through the glass. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but through the tint you could see the soft pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears as his eyes stared down at the desk.

“Don’t say anything. I just...wanted to let you know. The reason I didn’t want to sing the main vocals is because I was worried you would be able to tell.” He continued, eyes still not lifting from the table to meet your gaze. “All of the lyrics I added were about you. I just...changed the pronouns.” 

It was unbelievable to think that Lee Jihoon could possibly love you back. He was too...wonderful, and the fact that the both of you had used this song to express those feelings was almost unreal. 

Thinking back on it, on all the interactions you had attempted to have with him outside of class. You realized that he wasn’t ignoring you, his eyes had always met your own but he was just uncertain.  He had lacked the confidence to speak to you despite your obvious interest in him. It made your pinning seem silly now. 

You still honored his wishes and said nothing, simply taking the headphones off and draping them onto the music stand before exiting the booth. Stopping right next to the object of your affections.

“Jihoon, look at me? Please?” Hesitantly, his gaze turned to you and he looked flustered, more flustered than you had ever seen him. “I like you too, a whole lot.” 

Your words had his eyes lighting up, a look of disbelief crossing his face as you continued.

“Could I...would it be alright if I kiss you?” Before today, you had only ever imagined kissing Jihoon. What it would be like had been nothing more than a small fantasy that you thought about, but seeing him nod looking away still flustered, it almost seemed to good to be anything more than a dream. 

Hesitantly, you reached out a hand to caress his cheek, your heart speeding up as he lifted a hand to press over your own. When your lips met, it was like the stars had aligned. 

It wasn’t a perfect kiss, it was shy and soft but the emotion you felt simply from his lips pressing back against your own was enough to cause your heart to soar. It was like two puzzle pieces finding one another how well his lips felt against your own. You decided in that moment that he would get to hear everyday how much you absolutely loved him, he would never need to ask or hesitate again. Cause that’s what kind of love you wanted to give him, and all you needed to do was say it. 

[baroquebucky]

carne asada

a/n: hey guys ! i feel like there’s no latina fanfics out there and being salvadorian i think that SUCKS so I’m here to change it >:) i included translations for the Spanish parts so even if u don’t know it you can still enjoy it ! Feel free to request :-)

in which you culture timothée goes to the family carne asada for the first time

“mon amour how does this look?” Timothée asked, emerging from the room in a loose button up shirt and nice pants. He looked great, much too formal for a Hispanic cook out though. You smiled at him, “ay amor, it looks good, maybe put on some jeans instead of dress pants though” you teased him, watching his face flush red before he quickly went back into the room to change once more.

You quickly replied to your moms text, telling her you would be on your way in a couple minutes. Soon timothée rushed out of the room, look at you for reassurance. You smiled sweetly at him, standing up and walking over to the nervous boy.

“they’re going to love you bebe i promise you, the worse that can happen is that they hate you and call you un baboso or something” you assured your boyfriend, laughing as his eyes went wide. “I’m joking! They already love you” you giggled, placing a small kiss on his cheek before turning around and swiping the keys off the table, walking to the door and making sure you weren’t forgetting anything.

“you ready?” You turned to your boyfriend, he smiled at you softly before running a hand through his hair and nodding, you tossed the keys at him and he caught them quickly. You held the door open for him and he laughed at how you bowed slightly for him, quickly following suit. You locked the door and headed to your car.

The drive there was relaxing for you, laughing and pointing things out from your childhood as you drive into your neighborhood. Timmy tried his best to pay attention, but his mind was racing, he always read how Hispanic parents were always so critical of everything, how could he not be scared?

“amor? estás poniendo atención?” (are you paying attention) you looked at him, he quickly turned to you before focusing back on the road. “oh what? yeah sorry- just really nervous still” he replied, biting his bottom lip for a couple seconds before letting out a shaky breath. Although he didn’t know Spanish you always spoke it around him, translating after he would look at you like a helpless puppy, so he had picked up on a few phrases.

You never felt bad when you talked to him in Spanish since he did the same thing to you but in French. Sometimes just to get back at him you would talk to him in only Spanish and he would get frustrated because the little Spanish he knew flew out the window when you spoke. Between the slang words you used, how fast you were speaking and how attractive he found you speaking Spanish was the boy was mesmerized.

“angelito you don’t need to be nervous, i promise you they’re going to love you” you assured the nervous boy, placing a hand on his thigh as he continued to drive. He relaxed a little bit, smiling at you for a second before pulling into your street. He let out a shaky breath as he parked the car, looking in the mirror to check his hair one more time. He quickly rushed out of the car to open your door and help you out, you gladly took his hand as he locked the car. Even from where you were parked you could hear the music blasting and the sound of your family bickering and laughing. You smiled, excited for your boyfriend to experience a real carne asada with you and to meet your family.

“you ready?” You asked him, “not at all ma cherie” he spoke, you felt his hands get clammy, you smiled at him, kissing him in the cheek. “Wipe your hands on your jeans and calm down” you giggled, walking up to the front door, as you were about to ring the doorbell the door swung open to reveal your mom.

“mijita! ay te e extrañado tanto mi amor! Que chula te miras” (darling! I’ve missing you so much honey, you look so cute) your mom began, taking you into a warm embrace and scanning you all over to take in any differences from the span of several months since you had visited. “I missed you too mom” you replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“y este bicho guapo?” (who’s this handsome boy) Your mom began causing you to burst out laughing. “mom this is timothée my boyfriend” you smiled, moving to the side so timmy could hug your mom.

“muy bien conocerla” (it’s so good to meet you) timothee spoke, cringing at his broken Spanish. “It’s okay i know English” your mom smiled at the boy, taking in all his features. “oh okay good because my Spanish is horrible” he laughed nervously, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

“so good to finally meet you! y/n tells me about you everytime we call” your mom smiled at the boy, you both blushed deeply and he let out a small chuckle. “come inside! You have to meet everyone else!” Your mom moves aside, letting the two of you step into your childhood home. You took your boyfriends hand, leading him in the house, your mom quickly stopped you, letting timmy go in. “si te sacastes uno bueno” (you did get a good one) your mom winked at you and you nodded “ya se mama” (i know mom).

“Y/N!” Your older brothers shouted from the backyard, getting up from their seats and walking over to you, timothee was tense at your side. “hey guys!” You squealed meeting them halfway and giving the two of them a hug, you were the youngest. “how have you been?” You oldest brother, Alex asked. As you were about to answer their eyes landed on timothée. “actually i don’t care, is this the famous timothée? Im Alex” He asked, going over to say hi to the boy by your side, timothée went to extend his hand to shake your brothers hand but it was quickly swatted away by Alex. “nah man give me a hug!” He smiled at your boyfriend and you smiled at the two of them. Timothée hes usted for a second before hugging him back. “It’s good to finally meet you guys! Y/N always tells me stories about the two of you,” your second eldest brother Bryan went in to hug timothée next, towering over him.

“I’m assuming about how he would play with her braids?” Brayan laughed pulling away from the hug after a couple seconds. Timothée let out a breathy laugh, nodding his head. “well if you guys want we have two seats open for you guys” Alex spoke, “mainly for you tim” Bryan added, pushing you away slightly and you furrowed your brows at him, punching his arm. “I leave for like 5 months and this is how you treat me?” You joked as he shoved you once again, laughing as you stumbled a little while trying to overpower him. “well you guys have fun meeting everyone else!” Alex spoke before heading back into the backyard.

The two of you stood in the living room, you turned to timothée. “How you holding up amorcito?” You asked the boy, taking his hand in your and rubbing circles on the back of his hand with your thumb. “pretty good actually, your family is fun” he smiled at you, “i think your brothers like me” he giggled and you nodded at him, “watch by the end of the night they’ll love you more than me.”

The two of you walked into the kitchen, around the small table were two of your aunts and your mom all talking and eating.

“Hola!” You spoke up, cashing your two aunts to turn around and stand up, rushing to hug you. “Ay y/n! Tanto tiempo a pasado!” (y/n! It’s been so long!) Your first aunt spoke as she hugged you tightly, “que Bonita te miras” she spoke, moving to the side so your other aunt could hug you. “Ay mi amor que grande estás ya” (oh love you’ve grown so much) your second aunt spoke, squeezing you tightly as you hugged her back.

“este es mi novio timothée” (this is my boyfriend timothée) you spoke, introducing the beautiful boy next to you, he waved awkwardly, “hola como están?” (hi how are you guys) He spoke nervously as your aunts smiled at him. “Ay que precioso eres!” (You’re so cute!) Your first aunt smiled at the boy, giving him a small hug. “Your eyes are beautiful!” Your second aunt told him, he blushed deeply thanking her. You both stood there for a couple minutes making small talk with your two aunts before finally heading out to the backyard to find your dad.

“okay you’re gonna meet my dad next, trust me he’s super sweet, don’t be scared” you smiled at your boyfriend, you could tell he was shaking from nerves. You stopped him for a second, pulling him into a side hug, wrapping your arm around his waist. “angelito i got you, no matter what i love you okay?” You assured him, he smiled at you and planted a kiss on your cheek, “i love you ma cherie” he spoke, less nervous and ready to meet your dad.

You pulled him along, scanning the backyard to look for your dad, your eyes soon landed on him and you rushed over. “Papa!” You shouted, he whipped his head around and a smile overcame his features, he had missed his little girl so much. “baby! how have you been?” He asked, smiling as he hugged you and kissed you ontop of your head. You sighed into his chest, a smile on your face, “I’ve been good and you? anything new?” You smiled up at him, pulling away and standing next to a newly nervous timmy.

“nothing much, i see someone is new with you though” your dad stated, looking at timmy, scanning him from head to toe, he looked like a good kid, because he was, but you knew your dad was gonna give him a hard time for at least a minute to see his reaction. “Dad this is timothée, my boyfriend” you smiled, timothée immediately extended his hand out, “h-hey it’s good to meet you sir” he spoke, you could hear it in his voice how scared he was. Timmys mind was going a mile a minute, making sure he didn’t do anything to make your family hate him.

“so you’re the one that stole my girl away from me huh?” Your dad spoke, timothée had no ideas what to say. “Dad! Don’t scare him away” you pouted, scowling at your father. “I’m just messing with him! So tell me about yourself timothée” you dad smiled, sitting back down and motioning for your boyfriend to do the same, he quickly followed suit and they fell into conversation, making your dad laugh and talking about his life with him and some funny stories when he began to ramble.

You smiled softly, going to get some food for you and timothée from the kitchen. As you were playing the meat and rice you looked out the window and saw your dad and timothée laughing, you were so happy that your whole family approved, it was rare. Your last boyfriend your dad hated and your mom loved, another guy you brought home they both hated, they had never both liked anyone you had brought home until now.

Your dad glanced at the kitchen window, you were caught up in conversation with your aunts and mom about drama in the community. Your dad turned to timothée, demeanor changing to a more serious one.

“so what exactly are you intentions with y/n? You’re this famous actor with millions, yet you choose to be with a Hispanic girl who isn’t even famous” your dad spoke, skeptical of what he wanted. Timothée looked at your dad, turning to the kitchen window and he could see you covering your mouth in shock at something your mom told you. He smiled at the sight of you. “Listen sir, I love her, so much. She’s so smart and there’s never a dull moment with her, I can’t go a day without her correcting me on something and making me a better person. She always makes me smile and helps everyone around her before she even thinks about herself. I’ve never met anyone more resilient than her, she’s tough and hard headed and is great at debating things she’s passionate about, I fell in love with her because she’s so amazing and we make such a great team, she keeps me grounded and i can’t see my life without her.” Timothée spoke, he was confident in his answer, stuttering a bit here and there, a smile on his face as he talked about you and moved around a bit in the chair.

Your dad looked at him for a second, a stern look on face. Timothée thought he was about to pass out when he met your dads eyes. Your dad smiled at him, pulling him into a hug. “I’m glad you’re with y/n, you’re a great kid and you’re very talented. Welcome to the family mijo,” timothée felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, he has overjoyed that everything had gone smoothly.

“hey what did i miss?” You asked, seeing how your dad and timmy were laughing it up and any signs of nervousness were gone. “nothing much” your dad spoke and timmy smiled up at you, helping you with the plates, he got up, letting you have his seat and pushing the chair in a little before taking his own seat.

“well, here is the most authentic carne asada con arroz you will probably ever get, dig in timmy t” you smiled. He thanked you and quickly got some meat, mumbling an “oh my god” before stuffing his face full of the food. You laughed at how eager he was to finish the food, not making a noise as he ate, too busy enjoying every second of it.

“that was the best food I’ve ever had” he spoke, slightly out of breath as he wiped his mouth and drank some water. You smiled at him, still eating your food, “told you it was gonna be fine” you replied after you had swallowed the food in your mouth.

Timmy fit in perfectly after a couple of hours, he got along really well with your brothers, playing a few rounds of beer pong with them and a couple of your cousins. He was amazing with all your aunts, instantly charming them with one smile, all of them talking about him in Spanish since they knew he didn’t know it.

After the sun had set your cousin suggested that you all play Loteria, and who the hell was going o reject that? You dug up all the cards from your room and passed them out to your brothers, timmy and your cousins.

“wait! Why doesn’t timothée read them” one of your cousins suggested, laughing at the thought of him struggling. You looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders, “why not? Pass me the cards” he laughed, everyone cheering him on.

“el sol” he began, smiling since he knew that one. “El para- para guas?” He furrowed his brows as everyone giggled, turning to you he whispered, “ma cherie how do you say that?” You smiled at him, “el paraguas” you replied, he then repressed it louder, everyone clapping as he moved onto the next one. It continued like that for a couple more cards until your cousin got loteria, gloating about it until your brother beat him. Eventually you were stuck reading the cards since no one else wanted to, timothée decided to sit the round out, wanting to hear you talk Spanish as much as he could, your accent cane out when you were around your family and he was living for it.

Eventually everything wrapped up and the two of you were tired, saying goodbye to everyone. “Adios tia ay me manda mensaje para que podamos hacer ese jardin que quiere” you hugged your aunt and timothée felt his heart implode with love, he didn’t know what you were saying but he was in love with how you said it.

After saying goodbye the two of you walked out hand in hand, giggling at something’s that had happened earlier. “Oh my god and when your aunt called out your uncle i almost spat out my drink” timmy laughed, opening the car door for you. You laughed remembering how he had sputtered and nearly choked.

“Did you have a good time?” You asked him, looking at him as he put his seatbelt on. “Of course, it was amazing angel” he smiled, leaning over the console to kiss you. You leaned in and kissed him quickly, pulling away so that he could start driving. “My family loves you bebe” you smiled, looking at the curly headed boy. “I’m glad they do, because i don’t know what i would do if they didn’t” he laughed nervously. Timothée stayed parked for a while, letting the car engine heat up and choosing a Spotify playlist.

As he put the car in drive you looked at him, a smile on your face as you spoke up. “Te amo Timothée Chalamet” he turned to face you, a blush tinting his cheeks and a bashful smile on his face. “Je t���aime y/n y/l/n” he responded, kissing you one more time before pressing play on his phone and driving away from your house, the two of you laughing and singing along the whole ride back.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT!

The story shared here is by adult(s) for adults, and not considered suitable for people under 18 years old. It will be very text heavy, and have little to no pictures, beside the story banner. This might change over time. It might not. Minor info: English is not my native language although it has become my first language. However, please be kind regarding spelling errors, grammar mistakes and any other mishaps along the way, I am doing my best, but I’m not flawless. So don’t expect that. I do not correct others spelling errors, I would like the same respect in return, please. What you read isn’t always something I personally agree with, so don’t assume. I have simply chosen to write a story with at times challenging subjects, cause I feel I benefit more from my writing that way and I like to challenge myself as a writer and as person. This story contains humans and non human/supernatural beings, such as demons, shape-shifters, witches, immortal humans and more. They may do or say unnatural things at times, specially in their animal/demon forms. If this subject isn’t for you I advice you to consider not reading this story, although most people in this story, human or not, live mostly as human, meaning this isn’t Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings, so please don’t expect that, you will be disappointed. The supernatural aspect of this story, is not the main focus, although in some chapters it might be. Important: Not all, but most people in my story is in one way or another members of the LGBTQ+ community. Furthermore, several of the more frequent characters are members of Polyamorous relationships. I will not ever be listing these as triggers, as I personally don’t believe they should be. If you disagree with the mentioned above, this story/and blog is in no way for you. Please respect that.

Disclaimer: This story is fiction, try to keep that in mind, nothing written should be taken too serious, and is in no way a display of real life, or how people should live/think. Furthermore, nothing is in any way meant to be disrespectful or harmful in any sort of way, so please, if you feel something is,  tell me calmly, I’m open for discussion as long as it’s constructive. I will do my best to properly tag everything with suitable warnings/triggers but if I forget or overlook a trigger, please remind me politely as I am not a robot, and will undoubtedly make mistakes. NSFW/explicit content will sometimes be present, whether it means alcohol/weed/drugs, or sex, but the rule above applies here as well. Meaning it is fictional sex. I cannot stress this enough! It is not meant to portrait how sex is supposed to be/is in real life. I also do not always agree with the sex my characters choose to engage in. However, as mentioned before, I like to challenge myself as a writer, which to me, means sometimes pushing myself into wtf territory.  I like to let my characters choose for themselves, which means I sometimes disagree. But once again, it’s fictional, it does not display how I think sex should be, try to keep that in mind and keep fact and fiction separated. If you can’t do that, I think you’ll struggle with my story, and I suggest you don’t read at all for your own good. However, if you still want to give it a try, nsfw scenes are marked in each chapter they appear, so you can painlessly scroll past them, if you aren’t comfortable reading such scenes, but still wish to read my story. Below I will add a list of possible triggers in my story, I might add more as I go. If you decide to read my story I ask you, to please, be reasonable and keep in mind I’ve put a fair warning/disclaimer on my story. Please consider if the triggers mentioned below is something you can handle or not. I will not be held responsible for you getting triggered by trigger warnings you chose to overlook. Meaning, if there’s a trigger on a chapter, and you read it anyway, it is on you, not me, please be reasonable.

Trigger list:

(All triggers/possible triggers mentioned below does not apply to all chapters, but the chapters they do apply to will be tagged, again I must stress, if I forget or overlook a trigger, please tell me respectfully, I don’t try to trigger people on purpose, also what you see as a trigger, might not be a trigger to someone else, so please be kind.) Not too graphic triggers means: Subjects that might be triggering, but the description of it, is in my opinion not too vivid/detailed/graphic. (A subject that is usually briefly mentioned but not written very detailed, such as, if drugs are mentioned as a trigger warning, you’ll never find someone with a needle in their arm, but rather mentioning of being high, or quickly taking a pill, and how they get mildly affected.) Graphic triggers means: Subjects which are not always, but might occasionally be described vividly/detailed/graphic. (Could potentially end up in too many details for some people, so if these subjects are a big trigger for you, I advice you to consider whether this story is a good read for you or not) Please keep in mind, I do not know your limits, only you do, it is your responsibility. Triggers/possible triggers in no specific order: Alcohol abuse. (Not too graphic) Smoking. (Not too graphic) Weed. (Not too graphic) Drugs. (Not too graphic) Alcohol intake/drunkenness (Not too graphic) Sex. (Not too graphic/graphic) Rough/kinky sex. (Not too graphic/graphic) Anxiety/panic attacks (Not too graphic/graphic) Depression. (Not too graphic/graphic) Violence. (Not too graphic/graphic) Blood. (Not too graphic) Incest. - Adults only! (Not too graphic/graphic) Murder. (Not too graphic/graphic) Mentioning of rape. (Not too graphic) Mentioning of suicide attempts/self harm. (Not too graphic) What you will never find in my story: Sex including minors. On purpose racism. - However, I’m just a person, I may say something out of line, if I do, feel free to calmly bring it up, I assure you, I’d never do it on purpose. I am open to add more triggers to the list, if anyone has suggestions as we go, meaning if you read something in my story you think perhaps belongs on the above list, kindly suggest it, and I will consider. I've never been a story blog before, so, bare with me while I try to find my gravity in it all. Furthermore because of at times rather abstract/taboo subjects, I never wanted my story to go public. But after countless encouraging words over the years, I decided to go against my fear/better judgment, and post it anyway. The story I will share here, is technically an adaption of my main story, the characters are the same, their lives are the same, however, the story wont be shared from the beginning, at least at this point. The start of this adaption was written over a year ago, if not more, it is so far over 30 chapters long, and I am continuously writing on it. This means, I don't really take any suggestions, if anyone inspires me to write something specific, it may take months before the scene will be published, as there is so many chapters to post before any new ones I write. My characters are essentially the writers of this story, I'm just the typing hands, it's rare I interfere. That said, this also means they live their own lives, with good and bad decisions, what you read isn't always something I personally agree with, so don't assume. And once again, this story is fiction, try to keep that in mind, nothing written should be taken too serious. Thank you.                           Last but not least, constructive criticism is welcomed, hate/trolling and nonconstructive criticisms isn’t. I’ll gladly answer any sort of question/concern you might have, my ask box is always open, and no question is considered too small/unimportant/dumb or to be made fun of, as long as it is positive or neutral. Be kind and you will receive kindness 💖 I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD, TAKE ME TO THE STORY.

[gesternchen]

Just randomly reviewing scenes from the movies no one remembers now. This week: Avatar (2009).

It’s not like everyone forgot James Cameron’s Avatar. Since we’re still getting some footage from behind the scenes of the sequel and news about the cast, at least someone takes pains to remind themselves of this cinematic experience from the year of 2009. It’s already been 84 (just kidding, 11) years and I’m still looking forward to at least watching the teaser (fun fact: I was 11 when Avatar came out, I’m 22 now). I even bought the Darkhorse comic book on Tsu’Tey’s backstory to, you know, investigate one of my favorite characters a little bit better (spoiler: the backstory wasn’t very much eventful but I noticed a nice detail there which I may talk about briefly a bit later).

Throughout the years Avatar has received a lot of backlash and more or less justified criticism, mainly for the plot and its problematic packaging. I believe, it depends on the perspective one watches a movie from. Of course, I wouldn’t call it an absolute gem of exciting storytelling, even though I truly enjoy it, as in majority its twists are undeniably predictable. However, I always disagreed with people saying relations in Avatar aren’t deep at all. Well, romance between Jake and Neytiri, which, let’s be honest, except for the scene of telling the truth, went too smoothly, and this is why I strongly believe clash of interests is inevitable in sequels. Their interaction remained the key one for the whole movie, and nothing is bad about that, people enjoy a nice lovestory, so do I. But 11 years after I’d like to focus on the disturbing conflict everyone prefers to ignore for some reason when recalling Avatar. For me it’s always been Jake versus Colonel Quaritch.

You guys may have already guessed which scenes I wanna talk about. Those really important ones that I consider climactic to the pace of narration. And what is more about them, they give us crucial details in character development and actors’ play to think through. The main message: Quaritch knew it was coming.

Let me firstly touch upon the scene of short conversation between Jake and Quaritch prior to Sully presumably leaving Pandora. While Jake is awating Quaritch in a large empty hall, he hardly seems to be calm about the talk, every nerve in his body is trembling, but why?

The way Jake’s drumming his fingers on the table makes me wonder if he’s okay.

Then Colonel enters the hall, grabs a chair and reminds that it had been more than two weeks since he got the latest report on how the misson was going. He knows, Sully is questioning reality, and no, he’s not ‘doubting his resolve’. He knows, the right moment to ‘terminate the mission’ is missed. He knows, he lost Jake. He knows, he’s talking to the deserter. Yet Quaritch speaks indifferent. He praises Jake’s effort and rewards him for that. With real legs he promised to him when they first talked. Quaritch hoped they’d trigger the realization in Jake. Which doesn’t happen. How sad he looks when Jake openly refuses to accept the reward.

In just one sequence Stephen’s face demonstrates the shift of all four feelings Quaritch goes through: dissatisfaction, melancholy, shame, disgust.

Quaritch sensed the moment when Jake expressed superiority to the mankind. Jake grasped that Quaritch knew everything, he played with fire, and that’s why he felt anxiety. And it lasted all the way until Quaritch stepped back for leaving the hall. But did Colonel really surrender? I doubt that.

The tension between them both feels electric, so it’s explainable why Jake’s transient smile is so awkward. Sam then heavily staring straight at Colonel's back suggests that up until now Jake regarded Quaritch as his enemy. The enemy he knew he would not be able to defeat.

I remember when watching this scene, I couldn’t get myself the answer to one question. The question was: which report did Quaritch refer to? ‘That report from two weeks ago’, but such information wasn’t satisfactory for me. To be honest, this small discovery became the actual reason why I decided to type this study. Let’s assume that this particular report which Quaritch mentioned was the videolog where Jake confessed that Omaticaya wouldn’t leave the Hometree. Here’s why.

The general audience is used to perceiving Quaritch as a cruel short-tempered military man who just waits for the starting pistol’s shot to destroy everything in sight. Again, nothing is wrong about this, the fact that his character was simply meant to be a generic personification of such type doesn’t leave us with any alternative impression of him. Let’s say, if he was given the order to ignite the operation of the Hometree’s destruction to screw the tribe out of the site, he would absolutely go for it (and so he does). He’s a man of his word after all. Let’s also say, if he was pissed off by Jake’s betrayal, he would transport himself to the mountain site in a blink of an eye, turn off the link and put Jake in jail right after the talk in the hall. Instead, Quaritch decided to wait and give Jake the last chance. Jake preffered unearthly wings to those more tangible, so Quaritch chose not to cut them so abruptly.

We’re moving to the next scene, taking place right before a toned down fight between Tsu’Tey and Jake (I’m saying so, because it’s actually one of the deleted scenes that got edited out of the final cut, and believe me, the pressure between two rivals there is way too intense). Quaritch is watching the record of Jake destroying bulldozer’s lenses with a stone. After that Jake’s face is zoomed and we watch Selfridge get frustrated, Quaritch looks pretty annoyed as well but doesn’t seem to be much surprised. What he’s feeling, is bitter disappointment in himself and knowing that he totally failed to persuade Jake to change his mind.

Just observe Stephen Lang’s performance here. He absolutely nails cold-eyed look, the fire burning slow inside of him is so palpable, and guess what, in a flash he flies off the handle.

Now, shall we check the ultimate scene, preceding the destruction of the Hometree. Though Grace versus Parker juxtaposition is central to this scene, the last time Quaritch confronting Jake face to face in his human body is essential to consider for making things clear.

When it comes to revealing to Selfridge the vainness of further negotiations with Omaticaya, isn’t it just interesting how fast Quaritch manages to find the correct videolog? It literally takes him not more than a couple of swipes to produce the proof. Here is why: he’s already watched the record and is completely aware of the Jake’s values having deteriorated.

You can tell, Jake knew he was under control, but he would rather like to ingnore this fact. His pathetic glance at Quaritch, who’s almost impending above his head, causes to think Jake would guess that Colonel could have watched this videolog. Rather, it was a mutual secret between the two of them until a turning point. But the moment of truth came, and Jake didn’t change his mind. Quaritch made sure of that and finally it was his time to triumph.

So how was it even possible to assume Quaritch may have watched the videolog I’ve been talking about for so long? Well, my explanation may be too easy to believe, but still: we can tell by Jake’s appearance and the date of the record that it is the vlog we need.

This telltale videolog was recorded 16 minutes after the another one, when Jake says that he’s uncertain, who he is anymore (LST abbreviation stands for Local Standard Time). Jake might have suddenly felt depressed and hopeless and got back to the camera while being too emotionally instable, and so must have forgotten to delete the final record.

I have one more note for you. If you check the videolog library Quaritch is swiping through, you’ll see that the latest important record, which he actually needs, is made in the interior of the mountain site block and dates back to August, 13. Other recent vlogs’ covers look nothing like Site 26 sequence. Jake may not have done any of these records at the mountain site. I still wonder though where those three or four ensuing videologs were recorded, the location seems to be red lighted, which means it isn’t blue lighting at Site 26. I may even assume he recorded some pieces at Hell’s Gate. Why would I think so? Probably because in those two scenes (dialog with Quaritch and confession at Parker’s office) Jake looks ten times better than before, he gained some weight at least and doesn’t resemble a living sceleton.

Selfridge gave Jake an hour to relocate the tribe, while gunships led by Colonel’s Dragon were already on full alert. Quaritch had no doubt that Jake’s peacekeeping mission would fail. He knew it from the beginning. Hence he sounds so sarcastic seeing Sully’s avatar tied.

Now Quaritch sipping his villain’s morning coffee tasting like fresh genocide doesn’t feel so cringy: he’s celebrating his victory over Jake (still I should agree with critisism on this point, it really is a stupid cliche and wasn’t intended to carry a deep meaning).

Now I should admit, it’s been a long journey to run this investigation and bring it to light by finally posting it. It took me around a day to collect my thoughts and express them by means of more or less readable English. Just would like to make a little side note: English is not my native, so I promise I did my best! Thanks to James Cameron for making a movie, which woke me up in the middle of the night to start reflecting, and to all the fans out there who still exist and remember this movie and so can read this essay. @avatarmovies I found your blog not so long ago and you guys say you enjoy headcanons (and movie reviews probably?..), so it would be nice if you reblogged this but I’m not insisting!!