#After they came back to the states she never went back to other countries really so this will be very good for her I think :)

[creepyscritches]

My mom is going on a cruise w her bestie to a lot of European countries she's not seen yet (hasn't been to/lived in Europe or Africa since shortly before I was born). She asked me what gift I'd like and tbh I just really loooooove spices and flavors I dont have the opportunity to discover/try here, but like 🤔 not sure if customs would bar her from bringing spices home. Maybe a cool rock or smth instead as I seem to be collecting small stone animals when I travel lately

[foldingfittedsheets]

The dog I think of as My Dog was picked up from the shelter when I was about 16 and he was six months old. He was a cattle dog mix, which at the time was really uncommon in our area.

We were only getting a dog because my mom was worried about home invaders which was a bit insane as we were out in the country and we’d left our German Shepherd down in Arizona with my dad for complicated reasons.

I turned the corner and saw him. Instant connection. He was curled up dozing, all blue and white freckles with red ears and feeties. His clipboard said “SLY” in huge red letters. I called it softly and he opened his eyes, ears perking. He roused to sleepily amble toward me, lick my fingers, then go lay back down.

My mom joined me in dismay, seeing the love dripping off of me. She hadn’t wanted a puppy but it was clear which dog we were going home with.

Sly was a monstrous puppy. Fans of cattle dogs will be unsurprised to learn he was exceedingly clever, mischievous and Bored a Lot. It turned out his name hadn’t been Sly. It was Billy. But I think we all know why a huge red warning had been applied to his kennel. We named him Sly anyway.

My mom doesn’t remember threatening in earnest to bring him back but it happened. Sly loved to chew. He had no interest in fetch or most toys but he adored chewing. I lost headphones, backpack straps, and pillows to his voracious teething. We tried to dissuade him. He just learned to chew when we weren’t looking. Then one day, clever but not smart, he set his teeth to a plugged in cord and electrocuted himself. He was fine, just really startled!

Thus ended the chewing, forever.

He wouldn’t even pick up toys. He was fully convinced having things in his mouth was only a matter of time before they turned on him. He’d run after a ball at dog parks, grab it in the euphoria of the chase, then immediately spit it out.

He was still a lot of dog and my moms rumblings about his poor behavior led me to join 4H with him. My friend Lia was in with her spaniels so I had an in. We did twice weekly training in obedience and showmanship.

That was it. Sly transformed into the best dog. From a bored unmanageable puppy he became a partner, ready to work on whatever we needed to work on. He learned buckets of commands, eager to please. Sit, down, wait, stand, front, back up, shake, roll, heel. The only thing we could never convince him to do was speak. His bark was reserved for Danger.

We went to compete in the county fair together, entering obedience trials and dog show portions.

The instructions are clearly stated before obedience testing. A dog must stay sitting for two minutes when told to stay, and three minutes for laying down. If our dog broke we were not supposed to speak to reissue commands, simply wait quietly.

It was us in a line with five other dogs. He passed the sitting part just fine. The down one was longer and a wretched golden retriever broke. But then his trainer pulled out a ball and started trying to redirect him with it. The other dogs watched with interest but stayed down. Sly started up. He desperately wanted to herd the golden back into place.

With elbows off the ground he froze, realizing his mistake. His head whipped to me. In silence, I swept my arm down in the nonverbal command for down. He dropped obediently and watched me fixedly for the rest of the time. I think he could feel my disappointment.

We failed.

But the judge came up to us afterward as I was petting him and said, “I was so impressed your dog knows nonverbal commands, and that other dog was so distracting! Let’s retest with the next batch.”

I was thrilled and Sly was steadfast, staring unblinkly at me for the full three minutes with utter determination. He won blue ribbons in obedience and got later best in breed since there was no other cattle dogs.

[norrizzandpia]

She Doesn’t Know Who I Am (LN4)

Summary: Lando’s in New York and no one knows who he is. Especially the girl who asks for his number.

Warnings: nothing really, the vaguest inference to alcohol consumption? If that, man, but lmk if i missed any ofc

Lando was always weary of the United States. From the intrusive people to the crazed, horrific politics, he always tried to stay away. However, once a year, or season, he had an obligation to make an appearance in one of the fifty maniacal states. This year, the region in which would be graced with his chaotic presence was that of New York.

Y/n was the typical college student, ruthless and stupid as she went through her days at NYU. Crazy parties and a lack of sleep filled her days as she struggled to get through her second to last year in school. While part of her hated the way New York operated and how unsafe she felt, there was nothing like the beauty of the city. Her whole life had been spent in a small town where she felt trapped and alone, but in the big city, she felt a part of something, almost as if she was finally contributing to something. What she was contributing to, she didn’t know, but, in her mind, that didn’t really matter.

What did matter, however, was her friends dragging her out of bed and forcing her to go out with them whilst on two hours of sleep.

“I can get bagels literally any day. Please,” She put her hands in prayer as she pleaded with her best friend, “Paige, let me go back to bed.”

Paige looked back at her as if she had grown three heads, “No way. You go back to bed now, you’ll sleep all day and then be screwed up tomorrow. Then, you’ll complain about your sleep schedule being off and get mad at me for not waking you up. This is a much easier Y/n to deal with, thank you very much.”

Her response seemed to shut Y/n up as she hung her head low and trotted behind her brunette friend.

—

The walk to the bagel place had been longer than usual as they ran into George, a homeless man who lived at the end of their street and they had come to love. He had been there since the moment they moved in, coming and going as he moved to different places to sleep. After a few years of becoming friends with him, they learned he was a veteran who came back with severe PTSD, and, in turn, had to deal with tumultuous debts for his tries to stop the depressing spiral. While he had successfully gotten over the painful flashbacks, he never came back from the money he owned, the main reason why he ended up on the streets. The girls had found sympathy for the man and whenever he was there, sitting at the end of their block, they gave him fifty dollars each, whether they were struggling with their own financial burdens or not.

His smile had sent them into the rest of their breakfast with happier attitudes as Y/n’s annoyance for being conscious disappeared. However, they returned for the entire duration they spent waiting in the long line in the cramped, stuffy deli. Nonetheless, once she had scarfed down her bagel sandwich and chugged some water, she found life to be much lighter.

—

Lando, on the other hand, had been wandering around Central Park aimlessly with Max and a few other McLaren PR employees. The group had been out shooting content for both the racing company and his own company, Quadrant. Checking out different sights and throwing middle fingers up when they crossed the Trump building, the two boys found themselves having lots of fun in the country they thought so little of.

“Maybe this shit isn’t that bad?” Max chuckled as they stared at the lake that stretched across the park, a piano sounding lightly behind them from a street performer.

Lando nodded, liking the way no one was recognizing him and he could just be, “Yeah, maybe it’s just the politics that dampens the whole thing.”

—

“I’ll seriously never get over how stunning it is in here,” Y/n whispered as she and Paige strolled through a particularly secluded area of Central Park.

“Mhm, me neither.” Paige smiled as the two girls cherished the moment together.

Y/n turned her head to catch the brunette’s brown eyes, “Ever think about what would have happened if we never met?”

Paige pulled a look, “Absolutely not. That sounds like hell.”

“You’re not wrong.” Y/n laughed, “But, seriously, like, how would we even be surviving right n-”

Her abrupt stop to her sentence had Paige turning to look at the girl. With Y/n’s jaw dropped and cheeks ablaze, she followed her best friend’s eyeline, stumbling upon two boys who looked about the same age as them.

“Wow.” Y/n said aloud as she stared, mesmerized, at the man.

“Which one are you looking at?” Paige tried to decipher.

“Brown curls,” Y/n responded immediately, allowing her best friend to finally hone in on the boy of her friend’s choosing.

Paige smiled softly as she pictured Y/n with the boy standing in front of them, a cute couple they would be.

“He’s cute. Go ask for his number!” Paige said excitedly as she pushed Y/n in the direction of the particularly striking young man.

Y/n instantly paled, “What?! No way! Absolutely not!”

“Why?! Y/n, you literally haven’t dated anyone since freshman year. Come on, you’ll never even see him again if he rejects you. Please? For me, at least?” Paige pleaded, giving her best friend a look that she couldn’t turn away.

Huffing, Y/n began walking away, muttering, “The things I do for you.”

—

Y/n first caught Lando’s eye in his peripheral. The quick flash of y/h/c had him turning around to quickly glance at the newfound presence.

He almost lost his footing at the sight of her.

Black leggings and a sweatshirt never looked so good on someone as she approached him. His eyes were followed by Max, the boy laughing at a Lando who was clearly very taken by the girl coming up to them.

“If she asks to take a picture, I’m going to be so devastated,” Lando whispered as she smiled at them, the sight making him want to melt to the ground and beg her to go out with him.

It dawned on him that he didn’t even know her name yet, but that was a passing thought as she came to stop in front of him.

“Hi,” She stared up at him, clearly nervous, “My friend is forcing me to do this, so don’t think I’m doing this willingly.”

Her next few words Lando was already preparing himself for. Either her sentence could send him into a euphoric orbit or she could crush his dreams by being a fan.

She took a deep breath, Lando smiling at her cute demeanor, before she continued, “I just thought you were really cute and thought that, maybe, I could get your number? My name’s Y/n, by the way.”

Max was quick to jump infront of his lovestruck friend, not trusting the girl’s intentions.

“Sorry, he doesn’t give out his number.” He shot out, Y/n grimacing as she took in the embarrassment.

“Is he a celebrity or something?” She tried to recover with jokes, but it just made the faces of the two boys pale more.

The one that she liked, the one with the soft curls, stepped in front of his friend as he shook his head, “No, no. He’s just overprotective,” He sent his friend a threatening gaze, “I’m Lando and I would love to give you my number.”

Y/n was too caught up in the meaning behind Lando’s look to catch the way he was staring down at her, brown eyes big and round as he shot her a toothy grin. Their eyes met, and she flushed under his stare.

Tucking some hair behind her ear, she quickly got out her phone, “Oh, cool! Here you go.”

Lando’s fingers flew across the keyboard as he typed in his work phone number, not his personal. While he wanted to trust in her cluelessness, he couldn’t be that reckless.

Sliding her phone back to her in a way that allowed for their fingers to brush against each other, Y/n beamed triumphantly, something Lando knew he was going to grow to love.

She stood there for a few moments before nodding her head and beginning her walk back to her friend, “I’ll call you soon. We’ll figure something out.”

Lando nodded eagerly at her, a sign that he liked her just as much as she liked him. When her figure was a dot in the distance, Max turned to him and smacked him on the chest, “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? You can’t just shovel out your number like that! That was way too dangerous, Lando.”

His stern lecture had Lando rolling his eyes, “Max, two things. 1) I gave her my work phone, and 2) I’m willing to bet my seat in McLaren that she has no clue who I am.”

His best friend shifted on his feet as he looked at him, “You really think so?”

Lando nodded, “Yeah. I’ve seen fans try to play it cool, and even then, when they outwardly say they know my favorite flavor of ice cream, I can tell they’re freaking out on the inside. Her nerves seemed more to be the type of just asking a random stranger out rather than meeting her idolized driver.”

Max shook his head, “If you insist.”

—

Paige smiled proudly at her best friend as they began making their way out of the park, “So, what was his name anyway?”

Y/n thought hard for a moment before guessing, “Land? Lanyard? Something like that. I can’t remember. I was too caught up in his biceps to comprehend anything he was saying to me. I just hope he isn’t a murderer.”

NOTE: lmk if you guys want me to make a part 2 to this where they go out on a few dates and a month in or so she finds out or he tells her (something roughly like that)

[beseeingyouinmydreams]

If I see one more person say Kate & Maya have no blame in this I might scream.

He went to rehab and got out last year sober. She continued to drink around him, go party (spend his money and seek attn every chance she got) tell me how a recovering addict fresh out of rehab is going to resist temptation when the gf is CONSTANTLY DRINKING.

I’m sorry but your partner who you love sooooo much is fresh out of rehab has severe addiction issues tried AGAIN to do rehab( sadly at that point I think he was so far gone, he checked out after two days) and she STILLLLLLL didn’t change up behaviour. Still kept alcohol around still stayed with him, before he got REALLY bad. Then left him in a foreign country with Fckn Roger who clearly had no issues with Liams addictions until he abandoned him drug induced in a (shady)hotel room without alerting authorities. But she left him there knowing the label and management had recently dropped him knowing he clearly was still not ok. I DONT CARE that he was a grown man and made his own decisions. He clearly wasn’t capable of that.

Maya has every hand in this damn situation. She threw the man off a cliff into a pack of fckn rabid wolves ( the Internet) when she reopened the publicity and hate train over her dumb ass book. Nothing anyone says will change my mind on her part in this. Man had lost management and label and she dragged up publicity over a book that had died. Shr wanted him to leave her alone THE MAN WAS SCREAMING FOR HELP. & she couldn’t keep his name out of her mouth. She wanted attn. she had her space to talk about her issues. She did that when it dropped then brought it all back up and brought One D into the mix…. After knowing what one d fans and the internet had done to Liam after fully knowing his mental health and addictions while knowing he wasn’t ok. Girlie straight pushed every button she needed. And when we go back further she’s no better than Kate in terms of alcohol and drugs. Enabled him constantly drinking with and around him, constantly needing to party and get attn. and I’ve seen more than a few times she’s had drug problems as well. But she’s so innocent.

I am utterly sick of people saying he did this himself he chose his actions. NO his past and traumas and the issues and actions of those around him for the last few years did this. He wouldn’t have been in that state had the above not been an issue. Had the people in his every day immediate life for the last so many years been better fckn people and actually cared. His problems didn’t start the day he passed. He in truth had been LONG gone for quite a few months. The fact he was able to get that far gone that soon after rehab, last year is so messed up. He wasn’t alone in this he had “supportive” people every day Roger and Kate his team …. He came out of rehab clean and wanting a fresh start. The people in his life FAILED HIM. His family knowing and trying to help they didn’t live with him to see his every day. They knew and tried to help but when those in youre daily life are failing and enabling you and he was as gone as he’d been for months……

This was all preventable in every single way. I’ll never stop saying it. It was utterly senseless. I’m so angry more than any other emotion. And as heart broken as I am. In some way I’m glad he’s gone. I don’t know that things could’ve gotten any worse than what’s come out but I do know at least now the leeches and fame sucking people he had around him daily can all go to hell and can’t abuse and use him. No one can hurt him anymore. Man’s at peace and that’s more than they’ll ever be.

[journalsofsarila]

geto suguru × reader fanfic

also posted on ao3 here : https://archiveofourown.org/works/56263207

word count : 5229

status : finished

summary : ten years after your breakup you meet you ex Suguru.

let me love you again?

You pulled your coat closer to protect yourself from the sharp air of the evening, the wind blew from time to time filling your senses with the smell of late autumn. The sky was downcasted in warm orange as the sun made its way down west.

The restaurant they chose for the reunion was big and expensive, the interior was decorated in traditional Japanese style. As you entered the venue a worker came and took your coat from you. The heater was on, allowing you to take comfort in the warmth of the place. The waiter led you to a private room.

“Y/N! Here! ” Shoko patted on the seat beside her upon seeing your confused state.

You looked to your right and saw your brown haired friend calling for you. The bags and dark circles around her eyes made you frown, she clearly wasn't sleeping well.

“Shoko” you smiled and went to sit beside her. It has been over a decade since you last saw her. Due to both of your busy schedules you two couldn't meet, now that one of your other classmates arranged a reunion for your batch you finally got the chance to meet her. It was refreshing seeing an old face which made you nostalgic of your high-school days. In school you two had been very close, she was one of the only real friends you were able to make. She found you at the right time, when you had been backstabbed by a group of friends. Though you don't hold that over them anymore, it was easier to forget them thinking that they were only a bunch of teenagers back then.

You two catched up over some drinks while other classmates came in, soon filling the whole venue. Almost everyone came, which was quite shocking as most of you were busy now.

Then a white haired man came in, his tall stature and bright looks instantly catching everyone's interest. Being a star athlete, playing for one of the most famous basketball teams in the world will give you that attention. Even so you were looking around Gojo, hoping to see a darker shade of hair beside him. Another player. Geto Suguru. If Gojo was in the country, then he must also be. You didn't mean to look for him, or hope for it when you came in, you promised yourself that you wouldn't. But as your lungs needed air you ached for him. It had been shameful, kind of; to find yourself looking for that man even after all these years. You slumped in your seat at no sight of him.

“I'll go meet him. Do you want to come?” your friend asked you. Shoko and Gojo had been friends since elementary school, long before you even met her. She and the other two boys were a popular trio in your school, always the root of problems and chaos. They were the reason your school life had been somewhat lively. Though she was close with Gojo you never found yourself being the best of friends with him. You were close but not much. Part of the reason why was because you were too anxious to get close with them, yes you knew Shoko would never judge you for it. Rather she would have encouraged it, you being a part of the group but your shy nature refrained you from doing so. You didn't want to enter an already well established group, and also because you were comfortable with the position you were in. Maybe because he was there too but you didn't know now, at least not after the messy breakup you and Suguru had.

“Uh I'm fine. I think I'm gonna go and get some fresh air.” you replied while getting up from your seat. Your legs were cramped from sitting on the floor for too long.

As you strolled around the balcony you reminisced about your ex boyfriend. You two must have been 16 back then, when you first started dating him. It was out of nowhere, you thought to yourself. Shoko had just introduced you to Geto and Gojo. They played basketball for your school, and they were really fucking good at it. So much so that their nickname had been ‘the unbreakable duo’. It was after school, they were practising in the school gym when you first saw him.

Geto Suguru moved so effortlessly, so powerfully and your eyes followed every movement of his. The way he jumped, the way he synced with his friend, the way he blocked the other players, how he screamed of joy when he landed the ball through the hoop. Everything about him was intoxicating. And god was he attractive, his hair was tied in a manbun, giving you a clear view of his face. The boy was well built and tall in his own right. It was obvious that you were attracted to him, and then he saw you gawking at him so he winked at you and poof your hormones went crazy.

Over the next few weeks you got to know him when Shoko used to drag you to his practice matches, saying ‘I'll link you two up’. Apparently she had catched up on you checking out her friend and decided to take matters into her own hands. He was friendly enough, and he made you laugh. He made you laugh so much that there were instances where you had to clasp his mouth so that he couldn't speak anymore. Suguru was usually talkative, filling in the silence when you didn't speak, or sometimes you both chose to sit together without talking. It was new and it was exciting.

Both of you exchanged numbers, and he started calling you whenever he could. After his practice, after your study lessons in the library, on school nights, on weekends. It was obvious that there was something blooming between you two. Something much more passionate and vulnerable than friendship.

It was right after they had won in the nationals, when he had asked you out. You weren't that shocked to be honest, getting slight hints from both Gojo and Shoko that they were hiding something from and you had guessed it. Geto was so happy, he picked you up right in front of the crowd and spinned you.

“Let me be your boyfriend.” he said while putting you down, his hands firmly holding your waist.

“Okay.” you pressed a soft peck on his jaw and smiled against it.

2 years later you broke up with him in front of the same basketball stadium. He had told you that basketball was his everything and you supported his passion for it. You had asked him, if he seriously wanted a career out of basketball but he had said no, he lied. Suguru told you that he would get a normal office job and you believed him. You thought you knew him. What you didn't know was that he had gotten the offer to move to the States to play for their team and that he said yes.

You remember being furious, how could he tell you about such a big decision only a month before his flight? To say that you were angry would be an understatement, you were livid.

“Fuck, how can you lie to me?” you screamed at him.

“I didn't want to, I only lied because I wasn't sure back then but now it's confirmed. I'm going next month and t-” he tried to explain to you.

“No Suguru, why couldn't you tell me the truth about what you wanted? You lied to me. And now you're leaving for another country? What about me?”

“I know, but I-ill make it work. Maybe you can move-” he was starting to get nervous.

“I am not leaving Japan! I never wanted to! You know what my goals are, unlike you I wasn't lying about my plans.”

“Try to understand Y/n. I didn't tell you before because I wasn't sure. My father would never allow it, but now I've got a scholarship and a plane ticket in my hand. I lied because I genuinely believed I couldn't have a career as a player."He held you by your arms. “This is my dream.”

“And what about mine?” you asked him, tears and snot smearing your pretty face. He hated seeing you like this, he never intended to hurt you.

His family hadn't been the most supportive about his obsession with basketball, and didn't see a future with it. Consequently he also thought that it was a meaningless dream. But after he had won the nationals his coach informed him about the requirement requests he was getting. He was over the moon when he saw the man, dressed in an expensive suit telling him and Gojo about getting drafted. Right then and there he made the decision, he was going to fulfil his dreams.

As he saw your broken state in front of him he understood that his decision was selfish, you were his girlfriend and deserved to know.

“We can do long distance.” he suggested.

“I can't do it Suguru…..” you said.

“Why can't you? We can make it work if we want to..I promise I'll call you anytime I can. And I'll visit you from time to time.” Suguru was starting to get frustrated now.

“This isn't what I want and you know it. You know about my family and I just don't trust that life…..I can't do it. It's too unpredictable. I am sorry..” you were having hiccups from crying too much and your head hurt. Your older sister was in a long distance relationship and was madly in love with her husband. Then one day she found out that he was cheating on her, not being able to digest the betrayal she had turned to alcohol. It had torn you apart to see your kind and smart sister ruin herself for a man that wasn't loyal to her. This was the reason you hated liars so much, you despised them. And the fact that he had lied to you about such an important thing made you scared. What if he lied to you again?

“Are you thinking that I might cheat on you?” Suguru took offence to the implication that he might.

You looked up at him, a strange anger in your eyes “ You lied to me once.”

He had loved you dearly and couldn't believe that you would suspect his loyal for you. He thought he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust him.

Suguru swallowed hard “Okay then.” He let your arms go.

“We're over.” You said and turned your back to him. That was the last thing you ever told him.

The strong smell of cigarettes hit your nose, pulling you out of your thoughts. You looked back expecting to see Shoko but instead you were met with the man of your past.

Geto Suguru was standing in front of you, standing all in his glory. Just like always his stance was as though he owned the place, puffed chest and one hand in his pocket. Without registering anything your eyes roamed around his body, he looked more buff than he was in high-school and his hair was longer. You noticed as they were let down, framing his perfect face. And wait did he get taller?

Fuck I'm staring.

You pulled yourself together but then you saw his eyes, and it was obvious that he was doing the same to you. Taking in all the details, all the changes that may have occurred since the last time he saw you.

But there was something more to his eyes, some longing, some anger and a lot of hurt. You could say the same for yourself as with each second passing by you felt the lump in your throat get tighter. He was right there in front of you, physically, not inside the pictures you kept to yourself, not inside the stories Shoko told you over the phone.

He was right fucking there but you couldn't do anything about it, you couldn't go up to him and pull him into a hug, you couldn't kiss him, or run your fingers through his silky hair, you couldn't love him the way you wanted. The only reason is because you broke up with him.

“Smoking doesn't look good on an athlete.” you managed to say.

“Not much of an athlete anymore.” he replied, flicking the cigarette on the floor and stepping on it.

Oh. During one of his last games he had a collision with a player of the opposite team, leading him to fall in an awkward position. He was quickly pulled out of the game. His agency said it was a minor leg strain, that he would be able to join in the next games very soon. Then that season ended, and now another one has started but there has been no sign of his comeback. There has been a rumour going around that the injury is much more than a minor setback and that his basketball career has come to an end. His fans went feral over it, calling it baseless going as far as doxxing the person who posted it. It was national news, every eye was set on him. Just two weeks before he had made a statement that he'll be back next month but people were sceptical about it.

His reply just now made you wonder if the rumour was actually true. That possibility made someone ache in you, an unknown hurt which pulsed through your body. You didn't want his career to end, basketball has been everything and more to him. So much that it ruled every decision around him, which was more or less the reason you guys chose to seperate.

“I am sorry, I didn't mean to-” you nervously tried to lighten the atmosphere.

He chuckled and the sound was so familiar, like the lullaby your mom used to sing to you when you were young. It made you feel safe, made the pace of your heartbeat faster. He stepped closer to you. If you reached your hand out you could touch him, pull him in. If you did.

“I am not complaining, lost too many things because of being one.”

“Are you okay though? You're not hurt?” You couldn't have not asked him, you needed to know if he was alright.

“Completely fine.” He spins and gives you a full body check.

You smiled at his silly tactics “Really you are?”

“Of course I am.” He answered and looked at you with a reassuring face.

There isn't a word from you for a while, he leaves you speechless as always. A sudden shiver went down your spine, it was starting to get windier. You shuddered in your place, looking around. You didn't know what to say, what to do.

“I-i should go,it's getting late. But it was nice seeing you. Really. M-”

He lowers his gaze from you and it burns through you. You swallow hard, try not to let him affect you. Then he tilts his head to the side and he looks so beautiful. It takes everything in you not to run your fingers through his hair.

“Let me take you home?” he asks. Half pleading and half hoping.

The first instinct for you is to say no, but then in the push and pull between your brain and heart, the latter wins. You say yes. You think that it can't hurt to take a favour from an old friend, or an ex. Maybe it would be okay to spend some more time in his presence, maybe you can pretend that his name doesn't make your heart drop to your stomach.

So now you're in his car, you didn't know the car brand but you understood that it was expensive. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, fiddling with your hands unsure of what to do. The amount of times you made eye contact with him in the rear view mirror is embarrassing. You let out a cough as it happened for the 5th time. He turned on the radio, probably to ease the tension between you two. The radio played boring games so you chose to change channels when suddenly it started to play an old tune.

“Hey isn't it that one song? White lies? What's the band name again?”

“Tameless.” You both say at the same time.

He lets out a laugh, “ Apparently they disbanded last year.”

“What? No way.” you said.

“Yes way.”

“Damn, I can't believe they disbanded. It makes me feel like I'm getting old.”

“You know I met them.” he smirks and it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, at their last concert in New York, met them backstage and all.” he states with a snarky smile.

“Fuck you I'm so jealous.” you leaned back “How was the States?” You said trying to make a conversation.

“Amazing food. Interesting tourist places. Better basketball courts. A lot of faces though, too many of them. Too loud at times. You can get lost, you know. But I made some good friends. So I guess it compensates.”

“Hmm” it itched to ask him if he found another woman but the rational part of you refrained from doing so. It was none of your business.

“And how was Tokyo University? Miss. Scholarship Student?” it was him teasing you, the good kind of teasing.

“Hah it was awesome. Very fucking stressful at times but very cool. Met so many cool people-”

“Any cool boyfriends?” he asked. A part of you sighed in relief at the hint that he might still care, another part sighs in frustration at the same hint.

“No.” It's true, you didn't date anyone in your university days. Or after that. Maybe it was because you just didn't find someone captivating or someone you actually cared for. Maybe it was because from time to time you still thought about an ex from high-school.

“You?” you asked.

“Nah.” he went quiet for a while and then asked “Hookups?”

“A few…you?”

“Same.”

You don't know why he asked that, and you don't know why you answered. Was it normal for people to ask their exes about their dating game? You didn't know. The only dating experience you had was from him.

There were many articles about the ‘dating life’ of star athlete, Geto Suguru. All sources say one thing, that he hasn't been in any long term relationship and every time he's asked about his girlfriends he avoids the question. Till now you thought he was just trying to keep his relationships private, which did make you a bit bitter honestly. But maybe there were no secret relationships to be bitter about in the first place.

“Turn left on the next corner.” you inform him. The rest of the car ride only old country music from the radio can be heard.

Soon you're in front of your apartment complex. How should you say goodbye? Can you hug him? No, that'd be weird. Handshake? No, that's too formal. High fiv-

“Finally got yourself an apartment here huh?” he asked you while opening the car door for you.

He remembered that? You always planned on getting an apartment here, on the west side of central Tokyo. You were not fond of the buzzling city life, but for the sake of your studies and work you had to stay here. So from earlier on you had chosen this place, it was located around the outskirts of the city, allowing you to be away from the busy skyscrapers and bright lights of the city. The building was nice and clean, looked after and most importantly, close to Mt.Mitake.

The surface of your cheeks turned a shade of pink hue, he remembered that. It doesn't seem like much but to you it was. Because it was him.

“Yes, the rent is good. Place is clean. And you can see the mountain from here.”

“You're still obsessed with mountains?” he asked as his face cracked wide into a smile.

“How can I not? They're so pretty.” His smile made you feel shy, it did back then. It still does. You don't know what that means but you're glad that they still affect you. You leaned on his car on your side. There was part of you who didn't want to say goodbye to him. There was also a part telling you that it would have been silly to ask him to come upstairs.

Suguru's smile rested on his face, he didn't say anything. He just stared at you, taking everything in. He was equal parts anxious and stressed, that if you left now he won't see you anymore. That there will be another ten years that he'll only have your memories, that he won't be able to touch you, take in your sweet vanilla perfume, won't be able to breathe near you. It terrified him.

You noticed the look in his face, and you could tell he didn't want to let go. This fact put a sense of relief in you. Even after years of not seeing him, you could tell if he was upset. You didn't lose him completely, in the nooks and crannies he left behind, he was still your boy.

“Wanna check it out?” You asked, curious to see his reaction.

His face lit up with your question, “Sure.” His answer satisfied you.

“Let's go then.” You chuckled.

The apartment you had to yourself was too big for you. There were two bedrooms, a large kitchen and a living room. Definitely one meant to be shared, though you didn't mind having all that space to yourself. The extra room you had was made into a working space by your labour, and sometimes when you had friends over you pulled an air mattress and used the place as a guest room.

“Sorry if it's messy, I have been so busy so I couldn't properly clean the place.” You said as you unlocked the main door.

“Excuse me, '' Suguru said while entering the house. That sight did a weird flip back to your heart, the reason you didn't know. But it was an odd and new feeling. Both of you went inside the living room, as you flipped on the switch you immediately started to tidy the room. It wasn't dirty or anything, just a few pillows on the sofa rearranged and an empty glass of water on the coffee table. Strangely, for some reason the thought of him thinking that you were messy embarrassed you to infinity and beyond.

He chuckled from behind “Stop pretending like I am a VIP guest, Y/n.”

“You are tho.” you replied. Indeed he was a big deal, and right now you had Geto fucking Suguru inside your apartment.

“Not to you.” His response makes you halt in your position. You look back and he was staring at you with a sad smile on his face. You smiled back, “Not to me.”

Feeling a light brush against your legs you looked and giggled immediately.

“Hah, there you are my pretty princess ~~” you picked your cat up to your arms.

“Oh she's so cute. When did you get her?” Geto cooed as he watched a bundle of white fluffiness cuddle into your arms.

“Hmm it's been 3 years I guess? Adopted her from my cousin.”

“Riko?” he scratched your pet on the head.

“Yeah..wanna hold her?” you said while sitting down on the sofa and patted down on the empty space next to you. “Make yourselves comfortable”

He sits down beside you, closer than how a ‘friend’ would have sat. But you two weren't really friends, right?

“She won't bite?” he asked as he took your cat from you.

“Kuna is a cuddly baby actually.” you replied. “See?” you let out a laugh as your cat settled herself onto your ex-boyfriend's lap.

“Fuck she's so cute.” Suguru stated.

“Tea or coffee?” you stood up. He was technically a guest after all and you needed to treat him properly.

“You're really asking me that?” he looked up from petting Kuna.

“Tea it is.”

Over tea you and Suguru shared stories from the past years. He told you all about his adventures from the States and the countries he visited, the apparent ‘celebrity’ life and you told him about your university life and much gossip from that time. In between stories, when both of you got tired you two chose to appreciate each other in silence. It was nostalgic and made you remember your high school days. The time spent with him made you realise how much of him you had missed, how many special moments had slipped from the gaps of your fingers while you two were miles away from each other.

It was not long after your breakup you realised that you shouldn't have ended things with him. Yes he had lied to you, but you understood why. A part of you wished you had forgave him back then and instead of leaving him, you should have congratulated him. Maybe you could have done long distance, maybe you wouldn't have suffered the same fate as your sister.

Geto thought the same. He regretted leaving you from the moment you had turned your back to him and now when you were in front of him, 10 years older and 10 years far from him he held a bitter grudge over the past. He thought to himself that he should have tried harder, persuaded you more. But in the end both of you gave up on difficult decisions.

The sun had started to rise when both of you noticed the time.

“Oh god, we talked for like hours.” you said as faint rays sunlight started to peer in from the window. You got up, opened the curtains and you could see the sun was starting to rise. Turning back you gestured to him to come join you by the windows. Suguru came and stood beside you, brushing your shoulders with his upper arm.

“I missed these.” His voice was soft and gentle. You could feel his eyes on you. Both of you were sentimental, finding joy in the simplest of things. One of the activities you two loved to do together was to watch sunsets. You remember, how many times you both had sneaked out of your houses just to watch the sun go up.

“Me too.” you responded. Suguru and you were staring at each other and you could see his face get softer as each second passed by. You had to admit, you still loved the guy. There were years of pretending that you had moved on, that you didn't care anymore, that he was just some guy you used to date but all of those were a lie, a facade of some sort.

Truth was, he still ruled every living thought of you, you still care, you still were so hopelessly in love with him. Before tonight, that fact terrified you. But just some hours spent with him gave you a faint hint of hope, a chance at saying that maybe, just maybe you both could find your way back.

He sighed heavily, not breaking eye contact with you, “I shouldn't have let you go.” he said and you felt the world stop.

“Suguru….”

“It's the truth. I still love you. I still care. These years I've been saying to myself that I would be fine, maybe I'll forget about you but I simply can't. Morning, noon, night I think about it. I wonder all day if you ate properly, if you're having a hard time, if some other guy is making you laugh and it kills me. It kills me that I can't hold you at night, it kills me that I am not yours anymore.”

You didn't realise when you had started crying, “You're mine Suguru…and I'm still yours. I-i am sorry I shouldn't have broken up. I was just so scared that you were leaving and I was mad at you for lying. Your situation was justified and I was supposed to be sympathetic. Sorry. You were also having a hard time and I was being selfish.” You quickly responded, your chest heavy. You felt like if you didn't speak now you would lose him again.

“No it's my fault too. My ego was getting to my head. I shouldn't have lied. You had deserved the truth but I didn't give you that. Shouldn't have let you go in the first place; I should have waited there until you stopped being mad at me.” He cupped your cheeks, and an old feeling rushed through your body. You were relieved.

“Gosh- I was so stupid. When you told me about the states, all the worst possibilities came to mind, and I got scared. Fuck, I missed you so much.” You put your arms around him, and he instantly hugged you back. “I didn't know what to do without you.” Your face was pressed against his muscular chest, and you could hear the loud beats of his heart.

“It's okay now. You'll be fine.” Suguru rested his chin on top of your head.

For some time, you two stayed in that position, both somewhat exhausted and high on adrenaline. The dark-haired male realised just how much he needed you back. This time, he was going to make sure he worked it out.

“Let me love you again. Y/n? Please?” He pleaded, and that hurt you. Still, seeing him upset made your stomach churn.

“What about—what about basketball?” You questioned him.

“I still want to do it. But I want to do it with you. Every fucking possibility that I can even face, I want to face with you. All the good days and the bad ones, I want you by my side.” With every word that rolled out of his mouth, you felt yourself falling for him even more. You never thought anyone could fathom having you as a life partner, but there Geto Suguru was, with tear stains on his face and messy hair, showing you his raw heart. He was a miracle in your life—an epiphany, a constant.

You thought about it for a minute. There was an unknown future waiting. A future where anything and everything could happen. You thought maybe two years from now you would be in the worst position of your life. Or you could be in a very blessed situation. But in both instances, you thought that if he wouldn't be there, then you didn't want that future. You didn't want that life; you had lived it once, and you hated it.

He asked you once again, “Can I be yours again?”

“Yes, yes, you can.” A simple answer. An honest one. But as soon as you said you felt the weight of the shoulders lift from your chest,.

He let out an airy laugh, and the sound of it made you feel light on your heels. You were delighted to have your lover back. Suddenly, Suguru picked you up and spun you around.

Deja vu.

When he let you down, you put a gentle kiss on his jaw, and he smiled brightly like the sun.

"Welcome back home."

[darlingshane]

Salt of the Earth ~ Part 1

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: Friends to lovers, Fluff, Angst, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Implied/referenced drug addiction, Alcohol mention, Divorce, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy. Undisclosed age gap (in my mind Michael is late 30s and OC is late 20s, but it's really up to your interpretation).

Word Count: 6.8k // 4 chapters // AO3 link.

A/N: This is set in the year of the Fishes episode on season 2. It starts in summer and slowly builds up to that Christmas.

— This was an anon request that I got a few months ago, I hope you're still around. I tried to fit all the ideas you sent as best I could. There's a bit of info dump on the first chapter, but I hope it isn't too off-putting.

Chapter 1: Best thing since sliced bread

Seconds stretch into minutes, minutes elongate into long hours on slow days like this at The Beef. Especially in summer when the air conditioner stops working for the second time in the middle of August. Any living soul that crosses that door must have a dying wish or be the devil themselves to adventure themselves to what has become Michael's personal hell.

It's been a testing year, and there's so much he can do to fix this place right now. While he waits for Fak to come check the damn AC unit, Michael tends the front while Ebra takes his lunch break.

Turning the paper's pages on the counter, he comes across an article about the extensive fires eating different parts of the country. A wretched thought crosses his mind as he reads – maybe it'd be better to burn this place to the ground and start over. He entertains the idea for a second until the door swings open, inviting more heat into the boiling pot.

He lifts his eyes from the words to find a familiar face approaching the counter. It's not Fak, but a much better vision of someone he used to know.

“Mayhem Maya.”

“Magic Mikey.”

That former thought of burning down this place disappears somewhere in the midst of that beautiful aura that saunters with her big brown eyes, long raven hair, nervous smile, and firm steps.

“It's been a while, Maybird.” Almost ten years since she set foot in this establishment. “What brings you to this hole in the wall?”

“Came to collect that meatball sub you promised at uncle Teddy's funeral, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Ever since she moved to a different state, he only had seen her a handful of times when she came back for the holidays. Last time he saw her was at the beginning of spring, when her uncle, Ted Silva, passed away.

“I also had an interview at the new vet clinic on the next block.” She places her cross-body bag on an empty stool while she perches her ass on the one next to it.

“How's that going? Did you get tired of California already?”

“No, I love California. But I needed a change of scenery. It's been rough after… you know…” the divorce. She wasn't married for long, but she still can't bring herself to say the word.

“I’ve heard some of it.” He’s pretty much aware of how everything went down. Well, he’s got grapevine’s juicy version of the story, but he never heard her side directly.

Though Michael and Maya know each other as if they were related, they were never close confidants. She always thought he was the coolest guy in Chicago. And he always thought fondly of her, given their families association, and Maya’s close friendship with his brother.

Michael places an order for her sandwich and grabs a soda for her, while she explains she has two more job interviews later.

“Does your mother know you're back?” He folds the paper and props his elbows on the counter.

“She probably does.”

“Still not talking, huh?”

“It's not my fault she made me the black sheep of the family. She’s like vitriol on steroids.”

“Yeah? What happened at the wake? You left before I could say goodbye.”

Michael recalls the tension at the funeral, particularly at the wake when Angela Silva grabbed Maya by the elbow and took her youngest daughter outside the house as if she was still a child that needed to be scolded.

“Nothing. I barely said a word that day. Guess everything I do feels like a personal attack to her. I can admit that I'm not perfect, and that sometimes I've acted up just to get a reaction out of her, but that day she just went off again…” She pauses without finishing that thought to take a refreshing sip of her coke. “And that wasn't nearly as bad as the day I told her I was getting…”

“Divorced? Why can't you say the word? It's not Voldemort.”

“What the hell do you know about Voldemort?”

“How do I… Who took you and Carmy to buy those damn books? Have you forgotten?” Maya shakes her head. “You even tried many times invoking his name, so I was haunted by eaters or something like that. You two were real potterheads.”

“And you were just a pothead,” she laughs, stirring the ice cubes in her drink with a straw. “I totally blocked that out. We were just a couple of nerds.”

“I’d say!”

“Meatball sub!” Richie calls from the pass-through window and takes a second look when catching Maya in the joint. “Maya Papaya?!”

“Please, don’t call me that.” She scoffs while Richie promptly abandons the kitchen and goes around the counter to give her a welcoming hug.

“Did you know she was coming?” He asks Michael, as he props his ass on the bar.

“Had no idea. She just showed up.”

“Did you tell her about Carmy?”

“What about him?”

“He’s in Copenhagen.”

“Oh, I knew about that.”

“You two talk often?”

“Sometimes, I guess.” Barely more likely. They don't even text anymore. She's tried but there's been nothing but crickets at his end for months.

While Richie grills her about Carmy and what she’s been up to, Michael can’t help but look around the shop to notice, from every corner and wall, memories bouncing all at once in his direction. It takes him back in time to those days when she and Carmy were as thick as thieves.

Their shared history goes back to that same street their families have lived on for over thirty years… It’s still clear in his mind, like it was yesterday, when he was forced to babysit them when they wanted to go to the movies or trick-or-treating or the bookstore. That was a little annoying back then, now he fondly remembers all those times in summer, when they’d go to the convenience store to get ice pops on their bikes. Then they’d ride back and sit in the middle of the swanky rug in their living room and watch TV for hours. More than once they were yelled at by Mama Berzatto when she would come home to find melted colorful stains in the fabric. She would lose her shit. Carmy was used to it. Maya wasn’t, but the girl never flinched once cause Donna and her own mother were cut from the same unstable piece of cloth.

Maya and Carmy were really close up until they went separate ways for college. Their bond was something to admire. They had something so special that inevitably, Carmy fell in love with her. She was his best friend and confident. They kept each other's secrets, and Carmy thought she'd feel the same in return. It wasn't a crazy notion. They spent so much time together, everyone thought it'd lead to something more, but that never happened.

Mikey and Richie used to tease the youngest cub relentlessly. They tried multiple times to encourage him to ask her out, but he never found the guts to do it. Especially if it could potentially end their friendship. Carmy didn't want to lose that. Though he never confessed his feelings, Maya always knew. Even in her teens, call it a woman’s intuition, part of her already knew. Maya wished she'd felt the same toward him, but the heart wants what it wants, and she couldn't change that.

What was really fucked up was that she had the most ridiculous crush on the older Berzatto when she was a teen. While she knew he'd never look at her as anything other than Carmy's annoying little friend, that didn't stop her from daydreaming about it for years. It was a secret that no one ever knew and that was placed in a drawer at the back of her mind after she left Chicago.

After graduating, Maya and Carmy stayed in touch for a long time, until their calls and texts became less frequent. They followed different dreams that required a lot of attention and sadly their friendship got hurt in the process.

While she attended Vet School on the west coast, he became a chef on the east.

Maya thrived at school and work. She really went out on her own, and became the woman she always wanted to be. Unsheltered, confident, outspoken. She outgrew her shell and opened herself to new experiences and people. She loved it all. It wasn’t smooth sailing, but for the most part she was pretty happy with her choices.

And now she's back in Chicago, set on a new path and awaiting to see where it takes her.

She’s living in a house in Oak Park with her dog, Coco; Richie fishes out of her. Apparently, she got some money from uncle Teddy, and she’s invested it in a home for her and her beloved staffy.

“Does Carmy know you’re here?” Richie circles back.

“No, I haven't talked to him in months.”

“Why? Did you two have a fall-out or something?”

“There's no why. We're just busy.”

“Mike, help me out here. Weren’t these two fools supposed to get married?”

“Yeah, everyone thought you'd ended up together.”

“Man, I don't know what to tell you, we just didn't,” her head sinks between her shoulders.

“Just get over yourself and hit him up. The kid has been hung up on you since forever. It looks like things didn’t go so well with your marriage and all. You should take that as a sign, you’d never find anyone better than Carmy. The boy could really use some excitement in his life. And so could you.”

“C’mon, leave her alone. Go back to work, Cousin.”

Michael throws her a lifeline, noticing how miserable she looks every time Richie opens his unfiltered mouth.

“He’s not wrong, you know? You and Carmy… it looked like you two had something special.” Michael offers once Richie is back in the kitchen.

“It’s called friendship. You should look it up.” She points out.

“I have Richie.”

“Exactly. You have Richie. Why don't you two marry the other and leave me alone? If you think about it, you were as close to Richie as I was with Carmy. Even more. Should everyone assume you are in love with him? Cause that's what you're implying.”

“Touché. I'll drop it.”

“Look, as hard as it is to believe, there was nothing else between us. I was aware he felt something for me, but I didn’t feel the same.”

“You should give him a chance sometime. He might surprise you.”

It’s not the first time these two have been trying to play matchmaker between Maya and Carmy, and it’s bizarre to see they still do at any given opportunity.

“Okay, if I give Carmy a chance, you have to give Richie a chance. Those are the rules, Berzatto.”

“Oh, I've tried. He's not into me,” he remarks, amused, and leans closer to confess something in a lower voice. “Do you wanna know a secret?”

“Uh, sure.”

“He and Tiffany are having a baby. He just told me a few days ago.”

“What? You let him reproduce? I'll pray for Tiff.”

Chapter 2: Cool as a cucumber

Everything falls slowly into place as Maya settles back in Chicago. She secures the job at the clinic near The Beef, which is a huge relief after her rushed decision of moving back to her hometown without securing a job first. It was part of the plan all along to practice what she loves but never thought this would be the year. As much as she loved California, once her divorce was finalized she felt like something was trapping her there. And the money she got from her uncle gave her some leeway to improvise, get away from all that, and start over.

Maya is spending her morning going through the stack of unpacked boxes, finding a good place for everything, making it feel more homey. It's not a big house, but spacious enough for the two of them. The big selling point was the backyard for Coco to zoom around and cool down in her wading pool, which she loves. It didn't take long for the five-year-old pup to get used to her new neighborhood. They've even made a couple of friends at the park nearby.

A moment before the doorbell rings, Coco whines from her spot by the window, where she often sits to watch passers in the street.

“Who is it?” Maya playfully asks her dog as she makes her way to the front door.

Through the peephole, she sees Michael's profile as he inspects the porch.

“Hi,” her eyes widen as she opens the door. “Didn't know you were coming.”

“Yeah, I would've called, but I didn't get your number the other day.” But he got her address from Richie's intense questioning when she visited the shop.

“I knocked on two different houses until I got the right one,” he explains as Coco curiously circles around his feet, sniffing his pants, hitting his crotch with her nose in the process.

“No, Coco. Sit. How many times have we talked about no nut-tapping?” Maya glances at her with amusement as the dog sits on her haunches.

“It’s fine,” he snorts. “All dogs do that.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. But she’s not any other dog. I thought I had taught her better. So what brings you here?”

“This.” He offers the paper bag hanging in his hand. “It's just a little house-warming gift.”

“You didn't have to.” As she takes the bag from his hand she ushers him inside before closing the door.

“It's nothing, really.”

He glances around as Maya takes out the box from the bag.

“Wow, a set of knives? That's not nothing.”

“Everyone needs one good set of knives. But you can exchange them for something else if you want.”

“No. I like these. But I gotta warn you that I'm not much of a cook, and I'll probably use the same one for everything.”

“That's fine I can show you sometime though. Is she friendly? ” He points at the dog that keeps staring at him. “Can I pet her?”

“Yeah, she loves everyone. Go ahead.”

Michael cautiously pets the brown coat of her head as her floppy ears lower at the passing of his hand.

“Never pictured you with a pit bull.”

“Me neither. I always thought I'd be a cat lady. But I met her at this adoption drive when she was one, and she stole my heart.”

“I can see why.” Michael crouches down, and pets Coco with both hands. “She's really sweet.”

He lets her lick his chin a couple of times before standing back on his feet. Then they go on a tour around the house.

“It's still a work in progress. I'm thinking of painting a few walls, but we like it so far.”

“Yeah, it has good bones.”

“So you don't have to work today?” Asks Maya.

“No, we've had some trouble with the gas line, and we've been shut down for a couple of days.”

“That sucks. Now where am I going to get my sandwiches and coffee on my way to work?”

“Heard Starbucks is pretty good.”

“Shut up. Don't even joke about that.” She playfully shoves his shoulder as they go back to the living room.

“Are you doing something later?”

She shakes her head. “Why?”

“I don't know, thought you were having a comeback party or something.”

“I don't really have any friends here. And I don't feel like inviting my family yet. As you can see, I still have a lot to unpack.”

“Physically or mentally speaking?”

“Both,” she scoffs.

“Let's do something then? Just you and me. We could grab some pizza, or go out for a drink for old times’ sake?”

“Old times’ sake?” It's amusing, surprising and confusing his sudden interest in her. Maybe he can see how pathetic she thinks she is, and he's taking pity on her. Although, that was never Michael style.

“Yeah, c'mon, Mayhem. You look like you could use some fun.” He picks up a book that's sitting on top from the box opened by the couch that's titled — Dating Again with Courage and Confidence: The Five-Step Plan to Revitalize Your Love Life after Heartbreak, Breakup, or Divorce. “And maybe a rebound or something. You don't need a fucking help book. You only need me to show where to get the best guys, or girls. Whatever you're into.”

“Give me that. I don't need a rebound, a help book, or you for all matter finding me a date.”

“No? Then why do you have that?”

“My friend Paige thought I should give it a try.”

“Maybe she was onto something there.”

“I'm perfectly fine. Just want to finish organizing everything, focus on work and this handful I have right here.” Her hand gestures at Coco. “What are you so interested in my love life anyway? First you try to play matchmaker with Carmy, and now you want me to do what, exactly? Hook up with the first guy I see?”

“No, I'm just asking you to go out and have some fun. I know Carmy was the only friend you had here. And if I was in your shoes, I'd feel pretty lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, Michael. Do I miss my friends in Sacramento? Sure,” she admits. “But I don't wanna force anything. I'm just taking it slow. When the time comes I'll jump right in but for now, this is all I need. Really. Stop pitying me.”

“I'm not pitying you, sweetheart.”

“No? Then what is it? Where is this coming from?”

“I don't know… I've always thought you were the salt of the earth. And though we never really hung out together, I thought you could use… But I can see now that you're different, and that you know what you need right now, so I'll just shut up and back off. Let you do your thing.”

“Thank you. I do know what I'm doing, by the way. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. But I appreciate you coming here anyway.”

“Yeah, of course. And I can help you unpack if you need.”

“Hm, if you don't have anything better to do, be my guest. We could grab a pizza later, if the offer still stands. Or just order some food.”

“Sure.”

Michael helps Maya unpack all the boxes and put everything in place in half the time it'd have taken her alone. They order some food for lunch and spend half the day talking and laughing until late in the afternoon when they decide to go out for some drinks to keep the good vibes going.

At the end of the night, she offers to drive Michael back to his apartment as a thank you for inviting her.

“Did you have fun?” Michael asks from the passenger seat as she pulls up in front of his building.

“Yeah, I did. I'm glad I changed my mind.”

“Me too. I didn't know you were this fun. You're nothing like I remember.”

“Yeah, I was kind of weird growing up. You guys probably thought there was something wrong with me. ”

“Nah, don't be so hard on yourself. We were all weird in our own way.”

“Uh-uh. No Michael Berzatto. You were the coolest guy back in the day, and you still are.”

“I don’t know about that,” he scoffs. “For the record… I never thought there was anything wrong with you.”

“You were probably the only one… Anyway, thank you for today. I know I said I didn't need this, but I guess I did.”

“You're welcome, Maybird. I'm glad you’re back.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Thanks for bringing me home,” he softly squeezes her arm before reaching for the handle to open the door.

“No problem.”

“You know you can call me if you ever miss your friends, y’know?” he throws casually.

“I uh…sure. I will.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoes back as he pulls the handle and the door opens.

“Have a good night, Michael,” she says as he gets one foot on the pavement.

“You, too, sweetheart.”

He closes the door and vaguely waves as she sets the car in motion and watches her drive away.

Chapter 3: Don't cry over spilled milk

In the few weeks he's been spending time with Maya, Michael has found himself enjoying her company more than he'd like to admit. Being with her grounds him. She makes him forget for a little while all that's wrong in his life. She's like a beacon in that immerse darkness that his sorry existence has become. Despite having her own set of problems, he's watched her rise above all that with poise. He wonders what it's her secret to her steadfast determination, even when her own family has disavowed her.

After closing shop, he dives into his stash to tame that brewing headache before driving to Oak Park to pay her a visit. She told him earlier via text that she was at Home Depot buying some paint to update the color of her bedroom and asked him to come over to hang out after work.

For some reason, he couldn't say no. Not even the storm in his head is strong enough to deny her request. He has a pull on him, tugging him hard like a dog tied to a leash in her hand, he can’t help but follow her lead.

When he arrives at her house, she's halfway done. Two of the walls shine bright new in a lavender tone as she starts working on the next one.

After having beer and playing a tug of war game with his new friend, Coco, Michael offers his help to finish painting the walls. He uses a brush to paint the corners, while she gracefully uses a roller like a pro with her denim overalls over a tank top, and her raven hair pulled up in a ponytail sprinkled with lavender paint beads. When she lifts one of her arms, he catches a glimpse of a tattoo on the side of her rib cage, leveled to the roundness of her chest that looks like the outline of a dog paw.

“What are you looking at?” She asks after catching him staring.

“You have paint on your chin.”

“Oh.” She wipes it with the back of her hand, but she just spreads the stain along her jaw. “I made it worse, didn't I?”

“Yeah.”

She shrugs it off and continues with the task ahead until the whole wall is covered.

“Is everything okay, Bear?” Maya puts down the paint roller. “You're quieter than usual.”

“Yeah, everything's alright.” It sounds so honest, he almost believes it. “It's just been a long day.”

“I'm sorry that I put you to work.”

“Don't be. This is relaxing.”

“Yeah?” She takes a step back and surveys how much brighter her bedroom looks already after covering most of the former downcast grey. “Is the color right? Do you think it's too girlish?”

Giving the room a once over he says, “it's a good shade. I dig it. It doesn't matter what I think or if it's too girlish, as long as you like it. Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

She dips the roller on the tray to cover another section of the wall.

“You never told me what happened at the funeral with your mom,” Michael leans on the stepladder, taking a short break.

“Do you really wanna know?” She glances over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Everyone does. I’ve heard some crazy stories about it. Thought I should get it straight from the source.”

“I never pegged you for a gossip girl.”

“I’m not. I’m just making conversation.”

She mockingly narrows her eyes, drawing a lopsided smirk, “liar.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna. But yeah, can’t help being a little curious about it.”

“I don’t mind telling you, but it won’t be as entertaining as those crazy stories people have made up.”

“I’m not here for entertainment. I just wanna hear your side of the story, Maybird.”

Maya lets out a heavy sigh and while keeping her focus on the wall she shares with him what really happened. She’s right to say that is not the best story she’s ever told, though when it comes to her mother, all her stories tend to have a surreal element even she can’t fathom sometimes.

That day at the funeral, she was taken outside during the wake by Angela Silva to get scolded about her imminent divorce. It wasn’t finalized by then, and her mom invoked one last Hail Mary to convince her to stay with her husband, who was also currently dating someone else. It was a messy situation that Maya couldn't wait to get out of, and the fact that her mother never offered an ounce of support wasn’t surprising, but still devastating. Somehow, Angela found that the reason for her separation from her husband was that Maya didn’t want to have kids, and that really vexed Angela. All she wanted for her three kids was to follow the same traditional path Angela was forced into, no matter how miserable she was. Her two older sisters followed her mother’s narrowed traditional values. But Maya, ever-the-nonconformist, swore she would never follow anyone’s drum beat but her own. Her husband thought she’d change her mind eventually. He was wrong. She knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which led her here, to this moment.

“Is your mom ever happy?” Michael has always wondered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happy, except when she’s drunk. That’s why she has to make everyone else miserable.”

“Yeah, but she’s always had a fixation on making you miserable.”

“Like I said, every family needs a black sheep, and I’m it.”

“Is that why you became a vet?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“So, it's true, you don’t wanna have kids? I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“I honestly don't know. I just knew that when he told me he wanted to have a baby right away, it didn’t feel right. I said that maybe in six or seven years I’d be okay with it. Told him I wanted to travel and just be us for a while, and he said that was too long to wait. I don’t know… he stopped talking to me, and it was clear that he wasn’t changing his mind, and I wasn’t changing my mind, so. At some point I got tired of trying… He got a girlfriend as soon as I filed for divorce and I got a text from Paige the other day that said he got her already pregnant, like… that was never me. I guess it served me right… I married him on a whim, an impulse without really talking about what we wanted…”

“Hey, don’t feel sorry for yourself. You dodged a bullet there.”

“You really think that?.”

“Yeah, I do. You stood up for yourself and knew when to step back when it didn’t feel right. Not everyone has the balls to do that. Think how miserable you’d be by now if you had tried to please him or your mom. You seem happy now. That's what matters.” He means that with all his heart, and wishes he had the same drive to follow those same steps. As much as he loved the restaurant, he chose to run it to please people within his family. And that love turned into a nightmare he couldn't escape.

“You know… I liked you better when you were quiet,” she quips.

Michael huffs a soft laugh, picking up his brush to resume painting.

When the room is finished, she plugs a couple of fans and closes the door to keep Coco away.

Maya washes her hands and face in the bathroom sink. When she comes out, she catches the motion of Michael's arm as he shoves what looks like a pill into his mouth before taking a gulp of water from one of her glasses.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's just a headache,” looking down, he runs a palm over his short growing beard.

“Is it the fumes?”

“No, I had it before coming here.”

“Michael,” she sighs softly at his name. “You should've told me. I wouldn't have let you help if I knew.”

“Would you stop that? I wanted to help.”

“Okay, c'mere. Let's sit down.”

“No, I think I should get going.”

“Nonsense. I'm not going to let you drive until you feel better.”

He yields with a long exhale, and follows Maya into the living room, where her bed is settled askew in the middle of the space.

She takes a seat on the edge of the mattress and waits for him to sit next to her.

“Give me your hand,” she shows her palm up, as his eyes narrow. “C'mon, don't be a baby, give me your hand, Berzatto.”

“When did you become so bossy?” He slowly lifts his hand and as he lays it on top of her palm, his fingers tremble upon contact with her skin. Maya then uses her opposite hand to clip the webbing between his thumb and pointer fingers with her own and begins massaging that spot.

“My friend Sierra is really into acupressure. She says this is a pressure point that helps with headaches.” She explains while slowly increasing the force. “Does it hurt?”

“Not one bit. Is that like acupuncture?” His voice comes as a whisper as he focuses on her diligent fingers.

“Kinda. I think. I’m not really sure.”

“You don't have to fix me, you know?”

“I'm not trying to fix you, Bear. I just wanna make you feel better.”

“Admit it. You just love a good wounded animal.”

She smiles softly, placing his hand down on his knee and picking up the other. “Does it feel any different?”

He’s not really sure, it wasn’t truly a headache that led them to take that pill but the annoying rambling of his thoughts. She shouldn’t have seen that. And he shouldn’t have lied. But having her hands on his like this is straight up lovely. Inside of him, it truly feels like something is broken, wounded, and missing, and this is giving him a sliver of relief as he waits for the pill to kick in. If he was a better man, he’d tell her the truth. But he’s too far gone for saving. All he can do is keep that facade up.

“Does it?” She insists after not getting an answer.

“A little.”

“Do you wanna lay down?”

Swallowing, he responds with a nod, and they both lean back on the mattress at the same time. Looking at the ceiling, she keeps kneading that pressure point, unsure if she’s even doing it right.

They stay in comfortable silence for a good five minutes and when she finally places his hand down, Maya glances to the side and sees that his eyes have closed, and his chest gently rising and falling. She calls his name softly, but she can see that behind the sharp edges of his face and the ever-growing shade of his beard, he’s truly exhausted, so she doesn’t insist. She extends her hand to turn off the lamp, and curls on the other side of the bed without disturbing his sleep.

“Good night,” she says softly and closes her eyes.

From a dusty corner of her mind comes crawling that little forgotten part that used to harbor a lot of feelings for Michael. Though a few weeks ago he seemed practically the same Michael she knew, over the past month she’s keenly noticed little changes here and there. His eyes sometimes cast a dark shade tainted in nothing but sadness, it’s barely noticeable for other people. It comes and goes, but it tells her he’s not truly as happy as he pretends to be.

Michael wakes up disoriented at the crack of dawn.

It takes him a few seconds to remember he’s still in Mayas’ bed in the middle of her living room and that the weight that has his arm pinned is her body pressed against his. She’s warmly snuggled on his side, with her arms tucked between his chest and hers, and a peaceful expression on her beautiful face. She’s so awfully close, he can smell the scent of her hair, and feel the heat of her breath every time she exhales.

It's such an odd moment for him to have her that close. He's unsure of whether it would be better to slip out of bed unnoticed before she wakes up, or just stay there and watch her sleep for a bit longer. Either option would make him look like a creep, he thinks. So he opts to gently wake her up. His free hand reaches to his forehead to move a stand of hair away. Her brow scrunches as his light-feather touch grazes her skin. His lips curve up as he traces the shell of her ear to see her stir awake. She blinks slowly a couple of times until her focus shifts onto him.

“Hey, Maybird.”

“Hey.” Her lips move, it's barely audible.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.” His fingers absentmindedly massage her earlobe.

She's so stunned by waking up to that level of intimacy, she simply nods, as her mouth softly draws a smile.

“It's fine. Does your head feel better?”

“Much better. That pressure thing really worked.”

“I'm glad.”

“Listen, I gotta go open. Maybe we could do something later?”

“Okay,” she swallows nervously, hoping that waking up with him like this isn't just a dream. “Can you do me a favor first?”

“Sure.”

“Can you stay five more minutes?”

“I uh… I think I can,” against his better judgment, he decides he can stay for a few minutes more holding her.

The way her lips pull up timidly at the corners, revealing the dimples framing her mouth, completely disarms him. He’s always felt a certain affinity towards her, but being this close to her awakes a longing within that feels dangerous. He can’t bring someone new into his life. Not while everything around him is falling apart. It’s already hard enough having to pretend around other people.

He couldn’t do that to her. He won’t.

Michael will have to fight harder because when her arm tucks around his waist he can’t help but press his lips against her forehead.

Chapter 4: Hard nut to crack

Four months later…

After that initial moment of weakness when he fell asleep on her bed, he fought hard to elude that odd longing that has only grown into a big mass of love toward Maya. To anyone else in the world, a feeling as big as that would be a blessing, especially when it's reciprocated. To Michael, it's a weakness he can't afford right now.

Spending all that time with Maya has been like discovering a whole new planet Michael never thought existed. She's all vast, uncharted territory that fazes him more than it should. Despite his best efforts, he’s fallen into her alluring orbit and can’t find the way out into his own universe.

Far gone is that moody teenager that would mumble a few words here and there. And now there's this tragically stunning woman that looks you directly in the eye, says anything that crosses her mind, and laughs without a care in the world.

Though falling in love with her wouldn’t be completely wrong, it's not quite right either. It fills him with guilt to think about her in that manner. Moreover, it feels like a betrayal to Carmy, who’s far away in a different continent, prospering in his craft.

Michael tries to fool himself into believing that this is just temporary infatuation. He’s even attempted several times to convince her to get in touch with Carmy but hasn’t succeeded. It’d be easier for him if she were to put her focus on someone else instead of him. He has nothing to offer to her and has deemed himself unworthy of her, or anyone for that matter. If she only knew what’s really going on with him, she wouldn’t want Michael nearly as she believes she does.

Layer by layer, she’s tearing all his walls and defenses down. And after all the back and forth, he's absolutely sure she wants more than he can offer her. She’s been giving him the right signals. She doesn't shy away from it. Maya is direct and impulsive, and everything about her is fascinating and intimidating.

It’s time to either cut her loose, or accept that he’s madly in love with her and do something about it.

Amidst coming to terms with a final decision, he's lured into a surprise party she's organized for his birthday.

Michael is left speechless by her determination. And a little annoyed too for reasons he can't explain. To be honest, he’s never been a fan of surprise parties, but the main problem is that this would make things much harder for him to let her down easily. She’s carved herself into his life and the longer he drags this out, the worse this is going to hurt.

He’s aware that it’s selfish and obtuse of him for being that ungrateful that someone who cares that profoundly about him, that they would go all out to prove that. He feels like an asshole, but the train has already left the station.

Using the same tiring self-defense mechanism, he draws his best smile and brings out the Michael everyone seems to love. Not without help. There's always that crutch tucked in his wallet in the form of a pill. Being high numbs him enough to deal with the situation.

The cherry on top comes at the end of the night, when he walks her up to her car and asks if he's had a good time. He lies through his teeth and for the first time, he can tell Maya is not buying it. Perhaps she never did, but he's well-versed on her tells by now, and he can clearly see she's fed up with all the bullshit that comes out of his mouth.

“Look, it's not that I didn't like the party. It's just that I hate surprises, and I was exhausted today. But it was a nice thought, sweetheart. I just… I wasn't in the right mood.” It's seemingly convincing the second time around, but her face shows nothing but regret. “I love the jacket you bought me, though.”

Michael has never been interested in fashion, but he's always loved vintage jackets, and the one she picked it's a perfect addition to his collection. It's a bomber jacket, aviator style, in brown leather with a couple of patches and fur collar.

As they reach Maya's car, they come to a stop. She turns to him, “I know I can be a little too much sometimes. But I promise no more surprises from now on.”

“You and I both know, you won’t be able to keep that promise even if your life depended on it. That's part of what makes you– you, sweetheart. Don’t let my bad mood ruin that.”

“I’ll try.”

After a beat, without hesitation she leans in to leave a goodnight kiss on his bearded cheek and on a whim, she decides to press a second one on his lips.

It takes him completely aback. He wants to dive so badly into her mouth, but he freezes on the spot. And when Maya attempts to deepen the kiss, he finally reacts by placing a placating hand on her shoulder as he pulls his head back.

“I'm… I'm sorry we can't do this, Maya.”

“Wait, I thought… Did I misread something?”

“No, you didn’t misread anything. I just can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I can't.”

“You can't or don’t want to?”

“Guess I don’t want to.”

“Can you at least tell me why? Did I do something wrong?”

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” He wants to spill out the old – it's not you, it's me – excuse, but he refrains. Every thought and action go against every good instinct he's ever had. He hates himself for making her feel insecure. And yet, he can't backtrack now.

“Stop calling me sweetheart. You see how misleading that is?”

“Sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression.”

Her eyes narrow, and he can see the gears turning for a long moment before opening her mouth.

“I don't think you gave me the wrong impression, Michael. I think you're too chickenshit to admit that there's something between us and, for whatever reason, you're just taking the coward's way out. You've been weird the whole night, especially with me. I just threw a party just for you, the least you can do is tell me why.”

“I didn't ask you to do that. And I don't owe telling you shit! I was trying to let you go easy, but nothing is ever easy with you. So I'll just say it. This, you and me, is never going to happen.”

It sounds ridiculous as it comes out of his mouth, but he stands firm on that statement as her heart breaks in front of him.

In the end, it'd be better for her, he believes.

[jqmalikhsgib]

quest

four

when the team finally arrived they immediately asked to see you. aaron wanted to speak with you alone but emily advised against it. you were going through too much right now. she knew the last thing you needed was to see aaron.

emily and rossi went instead. when they saw you they gave you a sad smile.

“how you doing kiddo?”

you shake your head and sniffle. you haven’t seen rossi in awhile. missing the rest of aaron’s team, it was nice seeing someone who felt like family.

“it’s so good to see you guys! you know i didn’t do this, right?”

“we know yn. we’ve found some very good information. we have a feeling that—”

“my father did it. i know.”

they looked at you confused. not knowing you knew everything.

“i—i can tell you guys everything but i haven’t eaten or had anything to drink in twenty-four hours.”

both emily and rossi were pissed. no matter what the circumstances are you never keep a suspect hungry or thirsty for that long.

“we’ll be right back.”

they head back to the team and spot a few officers. glaring at them, emily immediately starts to yell.

“what the hell is wrong with you!”

“excuse me?!”

“she hasn’t eaten or had water in over twenty four hours?!”

“what?” aaron looks at the officer angrily.

“listen, how we get a confession is our business. she’s guilty and continues to lie. once she confesses we will give her food and water!”

“bring her out! emily, you know what to get her? we’re gonna talk to her ourselves.”

“you can’t do that!”

“i can do what i damn well please.”

here they were. face to face after two years of being apart. two years of aaron not knowing you were back in texas. two years of him not knowing you were pregnant before you left. two years of not knowing the three kids you raised alone.

aaron didn’t know what to say. obviously he wanted to talk to you. wanted to know why you wouldn’t even allow him to explain.

but he needed to get you out of this jailhouse and back to your kids.

aaron waited until you finished your food before he asked any questions.

“are you ready?”

you reluctantly nod. you knew he knew everything. scared of how he would react when all of this was over.

“start from the beginning. how do you know robert kelp?”

you sigh. grabbing a napkin and wiping your hands.

“five months ago he came to me. i was working my shift in the back and he asked for me specifically. we talked about what his style was but he wasn’t really present in the conversation. he ended up buying something, tipping me one hundred dollars, and leaving and came back everyday doing the same thing,”

“did he say anything else to you?” emily made herself known.

“not until three weeks after the first visit. he finally opened up to me about his long lost love. telling me how they met, fell in love, and wanted to get married,”

“what did he tell you happened?”

“he had to leave to fight for his country. he told me the two of them would write letters to each other. but after about three months she stopped writing. he was nervous until he got a letter from her. she apparently was pregnant and lost the baby.”

“did he say what she specifically wrote in the letter?”

you shook your head. “no! but i do know he stated that the writing felt off. it was definitely her handwriting but it was messier than usual. like she was nervous to write it. he just assumed it was because of how heartbroken she was losing a child.”

“how long before he told you everything?”

“two months of knowing him he finally told me. he told me that he had found out that the woman he loved was kidnapped. at first i thought he was just trying to tell a really dark joke. but the more he said the worse it got. he told me that her name was sarah. and the father wasn’t her father after all. he was actually one of the kidnappers. she was locked up for her entire pregnancy. when she finally had the baby she was forced to raise the child with—with. aaron i—i can’t say it, god!”

“it’s okay yn. take your time. just take a deep breath, okay?” emily grabs your hand. you nod before proceeding.

“she was forced to raise the child with a darius y/l/n, my father.”

“what did you do after that?”

“i called him a stalker! i said there was no way my father was a criminal! my parents loved each other. but the more i thought about my parents relationship, the more it all clicked. my dad had other kids, obviously, my older siblings. i never met their mothers though, ever! when i brought it up my father just shrugged it off. he’d get angry when i continued to ask. my mother would always flinch and run to me. it was like she was protecting me from getting hurt. when we got older my siblings wouldn’t come around! they refused to be around our father. i never understood. sure, daddy wasn’t exactly soft spoken, and he did punish us a lot for doing something so small, but overall he gave us anything we wanted, kissed us goodnight, and loved us unconditionally.”

“is there anything else you noticed about your mom and dad?”

“yeah! mom was a bit weird about her family. i asked and over the years she would just remember less and less. almost like she was forgetting her past.”

“what did you do when you finally realized things were a bit odd?”

“i went to roberts house. he gave me his address just in case i needed to talk. we discussed everything. he eventually had a private doctor come in and do a dna test. when the results came it in fact stated that robert kelp was my biological father. i didn’t know how to feel. i knew i had to go to my mom! but i didn’t know how to approach the situation.”

“when you did how did she take it?”

“she laughed. she told me there was no possible way that this man was my father. she told me the only man she’s ever been with was my dad!”

“classic case of stockholm syndrome. did your mother say anything else?”

“no! i kept telling her that results don’t lie but she kept shutting me down! eventually she got angry and told me to stop bringing it up. it was all lies and darius was my father. i guess that was the last straw because i got a call from robert. he told me that someone had been following him. he told me to meet him at his house later that night. he stated he had to leave town for a bit but he needed to tell me something important.”

“when you got there what happened?”

“i saw him on the floor. he had been stabbed repeatedly, barely holding on. he kept saying father, father, father. i—i assumed he was telling me it was my father who did this. i know you told me never to touch the weapon on the body but, aaron the knife was in the side of his neck. he was in pain and was already dying. i—i just couldn’t leave him like that. im sorry! im so sorry.”

“hey! none of that. listen, you did what you thought was right. we’re gonna get you out of here, alright? get you back home to your ki—to your family!”

you nod. aaron and emily both walk right out. they head towards the team.

“i have a feeling what he wanted to tell her.”

“what is it?”

“baby girl, i got you on speaker. tell them what you found out!”

“robert was dying!”

“what?”

“i found his medical records. it turns out that he was diagnosed with liver cancer.”

“so, what does that mean?”

“it means robert knew about yn for a while. when he was diagnosed he must have wanted to meet her before he died. that night she went there he was gonna say goodbye because it’ll be the last time he’ll ever see her.” emily states.

“and seeing as he had no other family, he most likely left everything to yn and sarah,” reid continues.

“which is all the evidence the police needed to be certain yn committed this crime. she was at the crime scene, fingerprints on the knife, and she was in his will.”

“but darius committed this crime? come on guys. the man is pure genius. he kept sarah trapped for thirty-six years. he knows he’d get caught. and he wouldn’t want any of this to unfold on him or yn.” derek states

aaron thinks until it clicks. “father, father, father!”

“what?”

“robert repeated those words to yn before dying. father, father, father. he knew who the killer was. the same man who told robert sarah died.”

“one of the captors!”

“penelope! i need you to find everyone that darius knows. he’d most likely be in his seventies. he’d be very healthy for his age and most likely served in the military!”

“on it sir!”

“lets get yn home to her kids!”

taglist:

@ivebeenthearchersstuff @shergoretzxx @slut4ethan @rosiehale23

[imtryingbuck]

Happy at last

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: The team lose their friend (I’m bad at summaries sorry)

Word count: 751

Warnings: fluffy (my attempt at it anyway), mention of suicide. there’s a bit in the fic that is most definitely wrong by law but just go with it okay? Okay. the last chapter

A/N: I’m really sorry this is short. This weekend hasn’t been the greatest so…anyways sorry if it’s shit but I genuinely don’t have the energy to do anymore. I do hope you enjoy it though and thank you to everyone who’s commented, liked and reblogged each chapter it truly means the world🤍

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

It’s been three years since Y/n and Bucky left hand in hand for Wakanda. The first nine months they were there was pretty hectic. 

Shuri got her prepped and ready for the deprogramming, which didn’t take as long as Bucky’s. When she was clear of her trigger words that Bucky had read out, just like she read his all them years ago.

Steve let Bucky know that the President had been arrested for his role at Hydra, just after he was arrested he committed suicide. His name was still tarnished and the whole world knew what he had done.

Y/n made sure that his mistress, the mother of his unborn child, Alisha Grey and Baby Grey’s bodies were found and given a proper burial, right next to where her grave lays.

The new President gave Y/n a full pardon and gave her the Presidential Medal of Freedom medal. Stating on national television that Y/n L/n was never a traitor but a hero. A hero that had been saving people’s lives since she was 16 years old and that’s what she should be always known and remembered for. A hero.

The bosses and agents of SHIELD were all fired for what they did to her. Some were even arrested and sent to prison.

The warden of the Raft was arrested and sent to prison for endangering life that he was in charge of and for abuse and neglect, as well as profiting from assaults. He got 20 years.

Hydra had finally been shut down completely, all agents arrested and charged to with life imprisonment.

Y/n and Bucky’s relationship started. After she was given the all clear Bucky didn’t waste a single millisecond to kiss her. Kissing her like his life depended upon it right in front of T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia and Okoye - who all cheered and clapped.

When the time came for them to go back to their other home, Bucky tried to convince her to stay-

“Doll we have a life here, we’re safe”

“But… then that means we’ll have a normal life”

“And?”

“I-I don’t know how to live a life that’s normal Buck, all my life I’ve been trained to fight from one fight to the next…”

“I know, and my love you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. We’ll do it together I promise living a normal life scares me too but we can continue to be happy here”

She hesitated, what he was saying was true and she knew that. Though she did have to admit she took to farming rather quickly, naming all their goats after members of the team and the bull they had after Fury. She also did enjoy helping out on the markets, bouncing from stall to stall. Loved helping the children with schoolwork and keeping them busy by playing with them when their parents were busy or tired. She especially loved the day she delivered a beautiful baby girl - bless Bucky’s heart he had to hear about it every day for nearly two weeks, in full detail.

She loved the feeling of being free. Free from the pain and suffering she either saw or went through. Free from one order to the next. Free to finally be herself.

But even if she did love that feeling she was terrified off it, what she had told Bucky wasn’t wrong, all of her life the only thing she knew what to do was to fight and to survive.

Wakanda was her home from the minute she stepped foot in the country many years ago, and with Bucky by her side she knew everything was okay, right?

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Okay we can stay” Bucky picked her up and spun her around until he lost his footing making them fall to the ground, it didn’t stop him from placing kisses upon kisses to her face.

The team understood when Bucky and Y/n told them that they was retiring, nor was they surprised by the two’s relationship.

One by one the team followed suit and retired too, all being welcomed openly by King T’Challa and the people of Wakanda.

Each and everyone of them had found happiness.

It’s now the 9th of March 2026, time currently is 11:54pm, their whole family is waiting outside the couples home wincing at hearing Y/n’s screams. 

The clock strikes 12:01 and all is heard is the cries of a baby.

Bucky runs out a few minutes later with tears streaming down his face.

“It’s a boy!”

<Previous

Tags: @unaxv @learisa @vicmc624 @bethexo07 @doublebassallie @cyberficlya @elijahssuit @sapphirebarnes @wasffginc @ladyvenera @casa-boiardi @cjand10 @iloveceandsswithallmyheart @violetwinterwidow01 @avocadotoastwithegg

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[gatheringbones]

[“Terry’s hair was long & thick, bleached blond, perhaps because she wanted to be a princess in a fairy tale instead of real. We wrote letters to one another, passionately declaring our eternal love, which the technicians stole. One night when she was sitting on my bed in the dorm after lights out, as I brushed her hair, they threw on the lights in a frenzy of disgust & separated us for being lesbians. We were too drugged and too frightened to do more than hold hands. The head nurse was a lesbian, who called Terry’s mother, who came the next day to take her home to her psychiatrist father, to whom she had not spoken in over four years. I was sent to the old women’s ward for punishment, where my job was to feed the bed-bound ladies, some of them in restraints all the time. The stench of urine & untreated cancer was overwhelming. I wrote long, intense letters to Terry, which I could not send, hiding them under my green plastic mattress. Terry’s stars are deep burgundy, & I bleed into the other colors when I mourn that we never made love.

Then Maggie was dragged onto our ward, in hot pink tights & purple smock, her teeth glittering with mischief Far from being depressed by the surroundings, she sang bawdy songs to the old ladies she fed, opening our misery with laughter. She was from a wealthy Marin family who sent her there to straighten her up & scare her into agreeing to marry the man they wanted to sell her off to, although they wouldn’t say it like that (she did). Somehow her wedding veil was among her belongings. She liked to wear it to the vast dining barrack because it annoyed the nurses so much. It was very beautiful, expensive lace which she trailed behind her like indifference. One day Maggie & I decided to get married. The guy who thought he was jesus was happy to perform our ceremony, held in the courtyard of our adjoining wards, surrounded by hundreds of old glass windows barred with iron grates. I wore Maggie’s veil & my Napa State Hospital white cardigan tied to make a train. We both carried huge bouquets of lilacs, which were blooming wildly in that hot, dry country. All our patient guests cheered & clapped so loudly that we couldn’t hear what jesus was saying. We only got to stroll down the sidewalk, showered with rice that Edith had filched from the kitchen where she was one of the cooks, before our union was rudely interrupted by burly male guards straining with anger in their white uniforms.

Everyone was locked down, some of us in solitary, & the bells went off for riot alert. Maggie’s poor veil was ripped apart by their feet & rage & arms. The head nurse (another lesbian) called Maggie’s mother that night, & before I had a chance to kiss her hello & goodbye, Maggie was driven away the next morning in her father’s limp-dick limo (her words again), as we ate our powdered eggs, silently depressed.

However, Maggie was a very sneaky & smart girl. She calmly arrived the following day in her VW bug (custom-painted purple, as are her stars) & said she had come back to collect her belongings, which no one had thought to pack up. Her mother, a master materialist (probably hoping for the veil), was very understanding. The hospital wanted to be accommodating in hope of future funds. So Maggie surprised me by returning to busily pack up not very much. We weren’t allowed to talk, & the nurses were watching us sharply until Ursula, understanding our need, threw her tennis shoe at the TV, screaming. Maggie palmed me a note to meet her by the lilac hedge behind the building, where she had conveniently parked. I left as though going to my new job at the dairy (cow shit apparently being a step up from human shit). The other women realized Ursula’s intentions & took off their keds, too. My last sight of that day room (where I had been declared incurably schizophrenic) was of flying sneakers, screaming technicians, breaking glass, & laughing patients—a really lovely melee. Because, of course, Maggie had returned to rescue me. We pulled out the backseat of her bug & I lay down across the battery. She laid a Mexican blanket over me, while I tried to project looking like a backseat. She piled her boxes, mostly empty, on top of me. The guards at the main gate were distracted by another call from the ward where the women who weren’t strapped down could not be contained. Maggie smiled, they gave her back her driver’s license, & off we went. On the other side of town, Maggie freed me from my seat charade & I tasted the wind in my hair for the first time in more than a year. She drove me to Big Sur, where I’d never been & they wouldn’t look for me (I had seven previous escapes, which is why I was on the violent ward so often, a curious juxtaposition—is freedom indeed violence, for lesbians?). In her trunk she had a sleeping bag, some food, money, & clothes that didn’t say Napa State on them for me. She dropped me near an overpass under which fellow fugitives of all kinds were camped, driving back to Marin, where perhaps she did escape marrying him. My belongings & three cartons of writing may still be in a dusty storage room at Napa. I guess I’m AWOL. Freedom’s worth the loss. If not for Maggie, I’d still be in the loony bin, incurable & terrified, not allowed to be a lesbian except with technicians. But I ripped that nurse out of the quilt.

Big Sur was rich with empty summer houses we raided for canned goods as a gang of teenage runaways, Vietnam War deserters, Rez escapees & drug dealers. We caught and roasted a wild pig. We hid out from the park rangers. We flirted with soldiers from the base for bags of potato chips, Hostess lemon pies, & chocolate bars. It was my theory we wouldn’t get scurvy if we ate the pies. We dropped acid & had orgies & stole into the mud baths at night. I was in a fog & detoxing from the nuthouse drugs, until one dusk when my eyes became diamond sharp at the sight of a thin young guy getting out of a hitchhiking ride at the convenience store near the campgrounds. He had black wavy hair cut in a DA falling forward over his face, wearing a leather motorcycle jacket that oozed sex. Our eyes caught across the parking lot & I fell in love like slamming into earth. I walked over, offering my open bag of BBQ pork rinds. Her reaching hand made me laugh & I blurted out, “I thought you were a guy.” She looked me up & down intensely, startled me by stroking my crotch with a quick secret movement, & growled, “Good.”]

chrystos, from cherry picker, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[creedslove]

Hello! Love your writing! Could I please request a Pedro x pregnant!reader fluff please?

Javier Peña x f!reader

A/N: I changed it again, in fact I changed the entire request because I'm a little shit and that's a stated fact. But I changed it for Javi, but not just any Javi, I changed it for asshole!Javi, married lying cheating!Javi

Javier had been married to Lorraine for years when he met you 

In the meantime, she'd gone to Colombia with him when he was first assigned by the DEA, but she quickly hated the country, the weather and the food and took a plane to Laredo 

Which caused him to be a single agent who slept around almost as often as he changed clothes 

He never really got into detail, but he was sure Lorraine also slept around back in town, she was no saint, and he knew that for a fact, after all they got married 

When he returned home, he was seen as a local hero, and it didn't take long for him to get the job of chief of police, which brought him even more status 

And with the status and the money he got from his DEA retirement and his job as a cop, she was more than willing to come back, flash her baby blues and beg Javi for another chance to get back together 

Javi had his fair share of women and he was getting old, besides, he didn't have any hopes of falling in love ever again, so he decided to give it a go 

But it got old fast, he didn't remember Lorraine being so cold in bed, she was all the time complaining of Javier's touches or finding excuses so she wouldn't have sex with him 

And he soon got bored 

So when the two of you met, he felt as if things had some meaning and the attraction was instantaneous 

And it didn't take you too long to be bouncing on Javi's cock, or sitting on his handsome face or being pounded by him from behind 

You kinda felt guilty at first for being with a married man, but anyone could tell Javier wasn't happy with that bitch, and watching the way she was always condescending and rude to everyone, walking into stores as if she owned the place, your guilt disappeared

You and Javi were in too deep to care about anything, your escapades were every time hotter and hotter and you couldn't get enough of each other 

Until you started to feel sick, throw up every morning, and your period was late 

You couldn't believe that possibility was becoming real 

So you went to the drugstore to buy a test, and even if the result came out positive, you still didn't believe it and you went to the doctor 

Who confirmed you were indeed pregnant 

You cried yourself to sleep that night, terrified to what would happen now you were expecting a baby from a married man, you had no idea how Javi would react or what he would think of it 

So you avoided him for a couple of days, until you couldn't escape when he came after you, demanding to know what the fuck was going on for you to be so weird with him 

And then you told Javi everything that had happened 

And oh boy, it felt like his world had imploded. He had never had kids with Lorraine, and he doubted they where would, and there you were, carrying his child 

He was at a loss of words and loss of actions, not knowing what to do as he stared at you with the dumbest expression a human being could display 

Your eyes began watering as you didn't get an answer from him, it all felt so overwhelming as he didn't say anything

"I can't do this, I'm sorry"

It was the first thing he told you. Javi was married and he did have a reputation to stick up to after all, he couldn't just leave his wife for his pregnant mistress 

He saw you walking away from you and panicked, grabbing you by the arm and hugging you 

Javier swore he didn't mean it that way, but he assured you he would pay for all the expenses you would have with your baby, but he just couldn't go public 

You told him to fuck off and never go after you again 

But still, the amounts of cash would appear in your house as the weeks turned into months and one day you got so pissed, you grabbed all the money and drove the police station, returning it all to him 

Though he was afraid of a scandal, he insisted for you to take it welcoming a baby into the world was something so expensive and he wanted to be a part of it, even if it was just financially

It took you a lot of convincing but eventually you agreed, after all it was only fair since he was hiding you and your beautiful baby like a dirty secret 

It killed Javi to see you from afar in the months that followed your pregnancy, he felt a mix of pride to know you were carrying his baby, but also pain, to know he was such a coward who couldn't step in and take care of his new family 

It pained him to see how beautiful pregnancy was treating you, whenever Lorraine talked about how one of her ugly pregnant friends was glowing he always scoffed, but when he saw you glowing, he knew exactly what people meant 

He always went pissed off when he overheard anyone make any comments on you being a single mom. They knew shit and they shouldn't be talking about other people at all 

When you went into labor, he pretended he had a call from the hospital, but couldn't identify who it was, just to pretend he was investigating whoever decided to pull a prank 

But he just paced the hallway worriedly and was only able to breathe relieved when he overheard the doctor say it both you and the baby were alright 

And he nearly died when he found out it was a little girl 

Javi went to your room after hours and watched as you and your baby slept. He wanted to hold her but he was afraid he was too clumsy for that 

You woke up startled at his presence and couldn't hold your tears, asking him to leave as soon as possible as you didn't want your daughter to be attached to a man who couldn't admit he was her daddy 

He asked her name and his heart broke to know her name was Analuz and if he weren't an asshole, she could be Analuz Peña 

Whenever Javi had a glimpse of you pushing down the stroller around town, he would make an excuse to be around you and Analuz 

His daughter was the most beautiful and adorable baby he'd ever seen, and he wanted nothing more than go home to the two of you, instead of going home to Lorraine 

You finally allowed him to hold Analuz, the two of you shocked to find out she would immediately stop crying whenever she was in his arms and he always thought his heart wasn't going to take those beautiful, bright little eyes 

He once got into a real serious fight with Lorraine when she was trying to gossip about people in town and mentioned something about you and your baby, and how people often said your daughter was beautiful but in reality she'd seen far more beautiful babies 

And Javier was pissed 

The two of them had a heated argument which ended up with Javi having to sleep on the couch 

But he refused it and drove to your house in the middle of the night 

You weren't happy to be awoken like that, but he begged you to see Analuz and you eventually gave in 

Javi spent the most comfortable night of his life, sitting in the armchair and dozing off with his beautiful baby sleeping peacefully on his chest, rethinking his life choices and how he wished he could make things right for the three of you 💔

_____

A/N: I'm not gonna lie, besties, I've been daydreaming about being married!javier peña's mistress, there's something so dirty and sexy about it it makes me WANT IT

[flowery-mess]

Homesick

I don't really know what this is, it came to me at 1AM like wave of feelings that I suddenly needed to write down. Let me know if you like it.💗

Today was perfect day. In every aspect, it was perfect, so why am I standing on the balcony, looking down at people celebrating Nick and his beautiful wife's wedding, crying and with anxiety attacking my body?

.

.

All of the Bad omens crew have been looking up to this day ever since Nick proposed to his girlfriend. Boys, including Noah, knew about it, but to everyone else it was surprise.

Me and Nick's girlfriend are close, we clicked immediately when Noah and Nick introduced us.

So I couldn't help but burst into happy tears when she send me picture of her hand with this beautiful ring Nick chose for her. It was almost a year ago, but it felt like yesterday.

.

Me and other bridesmaids spent the night before the wedding together with the bride to be, while boys used mine and Noah's apartment to hang out with Nick.

We woke up early and started with preparations. It was messy and chaotic, but I enjoyed it in a way. Seeing my friend with a smile on her face as she was about to marry the love of her life made me think about my friends back home.

I moved to the states 5 years ago for work. And for a change. My life back home was a mess and I needed to escape it. I stayed in touch with my best friends, but you can stay as close as the ocean between you allows you to.

We didn't expect that I would stay, I had work offer for a year. But then I met Noah. I never thought I would stay in a foreign country for a boy. When I extended my work contract we were dating only for 3 months, but it felt right.

After everything bad and sad that happened at home before I left, something finally felt right.

5 years later we are still together and I know I made right decision.

But it had sacrifices.

I never had a strong relationship with my family, I always considered my friends as my family. I moved from my hometown to a different town for university and saw my family just a few times a year, usually for occasions like someone's birthday. In a family aspect, I felt alone. I never called my mum to tell her about a boy I met or for cooking advice. She was always busy giving her time to her boyfriend, who I wasn't fan of. Neither he was of me. We drifted apart so easily and neither of us tried to put this so called mother daughter bond back together.

Between me and my dad wasn't a bad blood. We just had very casual relationship. We saw each other once in a few months, which now changed to phone calls once in a few months. He cares about me and loves me, we just weren't close at any point of my life.

So with my blood family, moving was easy.

But being without my friends? That hurts. Especially when I'm spending time with my new friends here in the states, like today.

I was part of the preparations, cake tasting, choosing dresses, making playlist and anything else you can think of. And I loved that. It just made me think of my childhood best friend's wedding. I could take only few days off at work, so I barely made it to bachellorete party, then wedding and then I came back here.

To help you understand my point, my friends went through every shit in my life. My parents divorce, my grandmother's cancer, my mom bringing home this new boyfriend, moving out of my childhood home to a new place, high school, moving for university, crying about my mother or crying about my heart breaks. They were there for me all the time.

.

.

After we had our makeups and hair done, me and other bridesmaids went to welcome the guests that started arriving at the venue.

It was family, friends and the BO crew, except for all four boys that actually created the band. Noah is Nick's best man and Folio and Jolly are groomsmen.

I started to feel homesick and guilty for enjoying my 'new' friends wedding that much with thought of my childhood friends. I couldn't wait for Noah to arrive to make me feel better.

.

"Excuse me lady, the legend says that the bride should be the most beautiful woman on a wedding day." I must have laughed at Noah's joke when he arrived while we had just a few minutes to talk before the ceremony started.

"Well I could say the same about you sir." I said as I placed my hands around his neck and pecked his lips.

"But really, you look beautiful Y/N." He said suddenly with a serious face, but with sincere look in his eyes as his hand caresed my cheek.

I think we both realized that our friends are getting married and that this day is gonna be full of love and happiness and that we're gonna spend it together.

.

The ceremony started just a few minutes after Noah and the boys have arrived. I was paired with Folio to walk down the aisle. I call Folio my Bad omens best friend. He's the one I'm closest with, we have the same sense od humor and I am voluntarily going fishing with him. I think that's how I get him to be my bestie.

.

I am very emotional person and I teared up a lot through the day, but when I saw Noah walk down the aisle I felt tear slide down my cheek. He was beautiful. I saw him in a suit only few times, so I am always amazed by how amazing he looks in it. Our eyes were locked the whole time he walked the aisle, we were smiling like it was ours wedding and I saw tear slip down his cheek too.

I was thinking if he's gonna ever propose to me, because we didn't talk about it yet. And with his family background and commitment issues, I am not sure if he even wants a marriage. He worked on himself a lot through our relationship, our begining wasn't easy. But we communicated and talked about our feelings to make it where we are today.

.

After the ceremony came to an end we moved to the lunch area, where me and Noah could finally spend some time together.

"It was really beautiful wasn't it?" I asked him with my mouth full with this delicious meal.

"It was. I didn't think I'd be this emotional."

"It was hard not to be."

We contiued to eat our meals, then there were some speeches and then the party began.

.

After few drinks the dancefloor was full with dancing bodies. Playlist was made of all genres and hits you could imagine. We were dancing in a circle, me and Folio the stars of the dancefloor.

Then Love story by Taylor Swift started playing and my mind went back to my thougts I had at the altar.

Noah came to me, connected our hands and started dancing with me. He wasn't fan of dancing, but he would do anything to make me happy.

We were swaying to the rhytm of the song and singing those famous lyrics.

"I can't wait until our day looks like this too." Noah said out of nowhere.

"Our day?" I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I had a feeling.

"Yes, our day. I'm gonna marry you, did you think I am not going to?" He looked genuely surprised and maybe little hurt that I would think that.

"I just didn't know what is your opinion about marriage, we never had that conversation." I answered honestly. Taking his face in my hand and caresing my thumb on his cheek I couldn't resist the smile on my face.

"I know we didn't, but I was thinking about it. I never thought about it before I met you, but I also never thought I could have relationship longer than a few months, so I started thinking about marriage." He looks so cute and all flastered when he talks about his feeling, specially his feelings about me.

"I like that idea of you being my husband very much." I saw the uncertainty leave his face after my words.

"And I like the idea of you being my wife very much too."

.

After that song and conversation I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

I felt those anxious feelings in my chest and tears forming in my eyes. It was mix of happy and frustrated tears. I tried to compose myself and not to ruin the mood for myself and for everyone else.

.

That brings me to this moment where I'm standing at balcony and looking at everyone under me. Thank god the lights are pointing at the dancefloor, so I am hiden in a shadow and no one, especially Noah, can see the tears streaming down my face.

I should be happy. After today and the conversation with Noah, I should be happy. Why am I not happy? Or am I? Why do I feel like I have everything I ever wanted, but had to sacrifice my closest friends for it? Do I even like this country that I moved to? What if I want to move back home in the future, will Noah come with me? I suddenly felt so unsure about everything. So many thoughts running through my head as I continued watching those happy faces, while mine was soaked in tears.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Barry was starting to wish he had bought a suitcase with a handlebar and wheels. Lup and Taako's apartment was on the third story up and, much like Lup had told him, the elevator was still in its constant state of disrepair. At the very least, a suitcase with a handlebar would be easier to lug up here. His back was already aching from the ride over (his body was not fit for airplane seats anymore) and this certainly wasn't helping.

But it'd be worth it. Tonight, for the first time ever, he and Lup would meet face-to-face. And Taako too. He was excited to see Taako. He had heard lots of good things about Taako. But he had never really talked to the guy outside of voice or video calls with him in the background and Barry- well, he had a soft spot for Lup.

That's what he told Magnus, at least, when he bought the plane ticket. Leaving Magnus to housesit didn't seem like a great plan, but Barry had no one else to turn to. Asking his coworkers felt weird and approaching any of his neighbors with the idea seemed even worse. Magnus, at the very least, was capable of fixing anything he broke. Probably. And was willing to do it for free as long as he was allowed to bring his dogs with him (he was, but Barry was very much hoping he didn't have to clean dog slobber off anything when he got back).

Magnus had seemed… uncertain about his plan. Flying halfway across the country without telling the other person you'd be there was, admittedly, not always a good idea. But Barry had planned this through. He and Lup had talked a lot about meeting up one day. What they'd want to do together, where they'd go, the plans they had. She offered to let him crash on the couch and Barry was 100% okay with that. It saved on hotel costs, at least.

And Lup loved surprises! Most of the time! Lup loved the surprises that Barry came up with, at least.

Barry paused at the third story, leaning against the wall to try to get his breathing under control. He had tried to only pack essentials, but that had quickly turned into "oh, I wanna show Lup this thing in person" and, "oh, Lup wanted to have this but I forgot to mail it to her", and "oh, Lup would-", et cetera, et cetera.

After a minute, he finally got his breathing under control. He straightened up and his back popped in at least four different places. Pathetically, he started dragging his suitcase down the hall. 310, 311, 312��

113. Lup and Taako's apartment.

Barry knocked before he could start overthinking it.

Lup would be happy to see him, right? Right. Definitely. She was cool like that.

Seconds ticked by. Barry fanned himself, suddenly feeling too hot. It was from bringing the suitcase up, that's all. He wasn't nervous. He lov- he liked Lup a lot and he wanted to make a good first impression. Second impression? He wasn't sure what it was when you've been talking to someone for years but have only just now seen them in real life.

It must have been a full minute by now. Barry raised his hand, trying to figure out if it'd be a good idea to knock again, but the door opened before he could make up his mind.

It was Taako. All of his opening plans came crashing to a halt. He opened his mouth and just kind of made a strangled sound. He cleared his throat and went to try again, or at least try to ask if Lup was home, but-

"Barry?" Taako asked.

"Yeah," Barry said, hopefully sounding confident and casual. It came out a little like he was choking down a jolly rancher.

"Fuck," Taako said. He shut the door in Barry's face.

Barry… didn't know what to do in this situation. He was hoping for a "hey!" or maybe even an "it's Barry!". This was so wildly off-script from what he had imagined he didn't know how to move forward. Luckily, Taako opened the door again and practically pulled him inside before shutting it again.

The inside of the apartment was warm and cozy and exactly what Barry thought it would be. He recognized the couch where he and Lup often had long conversations via the internet. He could see the beginnings of the kitchen as Taako pulled him further inside. A man popped out from one of the other rooms. Barry vaguely recognized him as Taako's boyfriend. Kravitz, he was pretty sure.

"Barry?" Kravitz said incredulously.

"Hey," Barry said. Taako steered him towards the couch. It was so soft.

"But Lup-" Kravitz started.

"We're getting there," Taako said. He was standing in front of Barry now as Barry sat on the couch. Kravitz leaned over the edge of the sofa. Taako took a deep breath. "Okay. So. Wanna tell me what the fuck you're doing at our apartment, Barold?"

"Uhm," Barry said. "Visting?"

"Visting me?" Taako said.

"I mean," Barry said. "I- I would definitely like to hang out with you too, but, uhm-"

"Lup," Taako sighed. He rubbed at his temples, as if he was developing a headache. "Okay, Barry, I'm gonna need you and Lup to get like, a shared calendar or maybe like- any type of clear communication, 'cus she's not here."

"Like, she's at work, or-?"

"Lup got on a plane at nine AM this morning," Taako said, "to go to fuckin' Maine! to visit your sorry ass."

"Ah," Barry said. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Sure, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was fine. This was normal. This was an everyday thing to him. He was pretty sure stuff like this happened all the time.

"You," Taako said, "are gonna call Lup and tell her she's a dumbass."

"I'm not gonna call Lup a-"

"She'll call you," Taako said. "'Cus you're both real fucking stupid, y'know that? Like, if you're gonna visit your partner then at least call before you show up-!"

"We're not- we're not dating," Barry said, blushing despite himself.

"Uh-huh," Taako said. "Sure."

"We're not!" Barry said. It seemed Lup and Taako had the same "I don't believe that at all" face.

His phone started ringing. Taako's look intensified at the I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston ringtone. Barry's face got even hotter.

"It's a good song," he insisted, struggling to get the phone out of his pocket. The caller ID showed up as Lup.

"Answer the fucking phone, Barold," Taako said.

Barry sighed, answering it. He pressed it up against his ear, unsure if he wanted to laugh or cry at Lup's voice. Maybe both.

"So, uhhhh, we've got a problem," Lup said.

Definitely both.

[raccoonbatz]

What happens in Paris // Tao Xu x F!Reader [ PART 1 ]

A/N: Welcome to my first non- oneshot! I just finished heartstopper season 2 and my unhealthy obsession with Tao came back and I became inspired by writing for this man, so much that I decides to make a multiple parts story this time! :) Keep in mind that english isn't my first language so sorry if some things are written wrong.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Summary: Your typical enemies to lovers w/ kinda slowburn story!

Important: Elle and Tao are just best friends in this story. As much as I ship these two I just had to write this with y/n :) oh and it takes place in season 2, after the exams.

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Soo, you're excited for Paris?" Nick asked while softly bumping your shoulder as you walk towards the party.

"Yea! Very excited to be with my best friends in a country I've never been to." You said excited.

"Reminder, I am not your best friend." Someone said behind you. You turned your head and met with Tao's eyes.

"I didn't actually include you." You said and he scoffed. You rolled your eyes and turned back to Nick who chuckled a bit.

"I don't really get why you guys don't just get along-" Charlie said.

"Because she is annoying-" Tao said but you quickly interrupted him.

"Says the one who always has to intervene." You said.

"I don't do that-" He said.

"You literaly just did-" You said confused.

"Yea, you kinda do-" Elle added and he scoffed.

"Now she's turning you too?" He said playfully to Elle and she chuckled.

"Not turning, just stating facts." She says and you chuckled. Tao playfully rolled his eyes

You guys arrived at the woods party, where everyone was already dancing, drinking and partying. Elle waved to some of her new friends and walked towards them. Isaac was getting a drink with James and Nick and Charlie were heading somewhere deeper in the woods together which left u with Darcy, Tara and Tao.

"Let's get something to drink" Darcy said and u nodded.

"I swear Darcy if u get too drunk again-" Tara said and u chuckled.

"What are you talking about-" Darcy said and Tao snickered.

"That's what we're talking about, you don't even remember." Tao said

"Yea I mean, we love to babysit you the whole night don't get us wrong but-" You said but Tao interupted you

"Did you just agree with me?" He said with a smirk on his face.

"Tao, I swear if u don't get that stupid smirk off your face-" You said trying to intimidate him which was quite hard since he was alot taller than you.

"Then what?" He said, still smirking. Darcy and Tara looked at each other and sneaky blended with the crowd to get away.

"Then you'll-" You said but took a quick look around to see that you guys were abandoned. Tao looked around and realized the same.

"Those fuckers-" You said and Tao chuckled.

"They don't wanna be seen with you either." He said and you rolled your eyes.

"Then what are you still doing here hmm?" You said and crossed your arms.

"That is-" He says and paused for a bit. "A really good question" He added and thought for a bit.

"Goodbye!" He says and started to walk away. You sighed and turned around, walking in the direction you thought Darcy and Tara went in.

You walked towards the place where you could get a drink and grabbed a red cup and poured something to drink in it. U took a sip and quickly realized it wasn’t just soda.

“Ah, there you are!” You heard behind you and turned around.

“Ah, hey Tara!” You smiled but your smile quickly faded away remembering that they left you.

“Why in gods name did u guys leave me with that asshole?” You asked and they chuckled

“We know you like him-“ Darcy said and u spit out your sip that you were taking

“You guys are batshit crazy-“ You said and chuckled.

“Everyone knows” Tara added and u laughed

“The fact that u guys can’t feel the tension is insane!” Darcy said and you rolled your eyes.

“I don’t know which tension you’re talking about. The only tension I feel when talking to him is an angry one.” You said and took a big sip of your cup.

Darcy and Tara gave each-other a look while you looked at them confused.

“Is there something I don’t know?” You asked and they snickered.

“No- no no nothing to worry about-“ Tara said and u sighed.

“Nevermind then- Where is everyone?” You asked

“We have no clue-“ Darcy said.

The party went on for a bit. Charlie and Nick went home early because Nick wasn’t feeling well. Darcy and Tara also already left and Elle and Isaac were nowhere to be found. When you grabbed your headphones to listen so some music for the long walk home, u felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Ur still here?” Tao asked confused.

“Yea, I was about to walk home.” You said and wanted to turn around, but Tao stopped you again.

“You’re walking alone? Now?” He said and looked genuinely confused.

“Uh, yeah? Do you see anybody else with me right now?” You said and chuckled. Tao stood still for a second.

Then he hesitated for a second to say something.

“Spit it out dude.” You said.

“I know we don’t get along, but I also don’t want you to walk alone to your house.” He said and looked.. concerned?

“Uh-“ You were taken a bit back. He never said something nice to you.

“You want to walk me home?” You said confused.

“No- I don’t want to-“ He says and pauses for a bit. “But I would probably get killed by the rest if they knew I let you walk alone.” He added and chuckled a bit.

“Fair.” You said and softly smiled.

“Fine, we can walk together but-“ You said and paused

“But what?” He asked

“I want to listen to my music tho.” You said as you placed your headphones on your head.

“Perfect for me!” He says and takes out his earbuds and places them into his ears.

As you guys were walking home you caught yourself looking at Tao sometimes.

You never really noticed how cute he is.

[welcome-to-sparkys]

[My] Fanon Ness

I must stress that this was helped made possible by @raglansragdoll Please give them love too!!! Also I know I have requests I'm working on them ^^;;

Full Name: Ness Wilhelm Scott

Age: 23 years old

Birthday: June 26, 1977

Gender: Genderqueer gay man (very closeted and internalized transphobia beginning of story | also period accuracy he wouldn't really state it this way, modern times he'd def have neos and such but that be an au)

Pronouns: He/Him

World building under the cut!

Ness is an absolute nerd. He's currently in college getting his master's degree in business, minor in theatre. He's been working at Sparky's since his freshman year of college to help pay student loans and such. He lives in a quaint, cramped apartment downtown near his college. He likes his coworkers, the gossipy waitresses, and his manager. He's never met the owner, though (🐇).

He loves to be in-the-know. He eavesdrops constantly at work, and it's honestly the best place to gather bits and bobs about the local townsfolk, cryptids, and other oddities. With his flamboyant nature and such a small town, he's also well-known and trusted. The grannies who come every Sunday after church services, crochet, and tip well trade tea for knowing about his personal life. Got a girlfriend yet? How's that degree going? How's your parents?

Though he's stuck his nose where it isn't supposed to be, plenty of times. Back when he was 19, him and a few buddies broke into their school's boiler room because rumor was it's haunted and had a skull of a pilgrim girl. Needless to say, that wasn't true, just a theory even, and he spent the night in the county jail. He's gotten more discreet since then, now preferring to work alone.

He heard about Freddy's soon after and became obsessed. He asked anyone and everyone who would listen about the place. Who owned it? Why did it shut down? After a few months, he started putting some details together. Five children missing so close to the place shutting down, their bodies never found? He could smell a theory brewing.

He's the reason William had to start frequently hiring security guards. Vanessa was usually enough to ensure his prized possession didn't get vandalized or broken into. Well... Until Ness got involved. At first, the gate wasn't even locked. It was just some simple chain. Then he learned how to lockpick. Once the padlock was put in place he "borrowed" the note with instructions from a late security guard.

He always wanted to snag something from the pizzeria. He brought his camera he bought through saving tips and snapped photos of literally everything. He once left with a shard of glass from a pinball machine, but he then got weird feelings about the animatronics. He took notes. After a few months he had several notebooks full of his scribbles, photos, and bits of rubble or memorabilia. His little pencil topper he actually stole from the prize counter inside the pizzeria and is his favorite find.

It got a lot more difficult once Mike got involved. Mike caught him the first night, interrogated him, and threw him out. It didn't deter Ness, and in fact it relit the spark that had started to fizzle out. He grew more determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. He started a blog, documenting his theories and thoughts online. It didn't gain much steam, but he had a few fans from around the country.

Boy was it awkward when Mike came into the diner the first time. Ness hid, for the first time ever, in the back. It worried his coworkers because he wasn't one to avoid meeting someone new. Quite the opposite. Ness did peek, once, only to be met by Mike's ragged, sleep-deprived glare.

They didn't talk the first few times, but Abby was fascinated by Ness. Her "friends" were too, telling her that they recognized the waiter. She demanded and begged Mike to take her to the run down diner again and again, and eventually he obliged.

Eventually, the two warmed up to each other.

Ness went with Mike during the Climax of the film. Vanessa still makes an appearance and gets stabbed, but she's more a background character. Ness, Mike, and Abby get out of the crumbling building by the skin of their noses.

Mike and Abby become regulars, even having "their" table. Ness knows their order by heart, and always has something new to share with Abby.

And then securitywaiter :3

My AO3 | Masterlist

[m3llowl3na]

Sweet Melodies ( Part 1 ) Bada Lee Fanfic

Part 1 — Part 2

~Not proofread~

Binna never thought that she would leave her home town. In fact, she never even thought that she would leave the country, but here she was. Sitting on the plane in between her mother and father as she started at a photo of her and her best friend. At the momment, she felt like crap.

She was going to miss her friends and most importantly her best friend. She had known her, her whole life, and this would be the first time that they would be apart, for a long period of time. However, that wasn’t the only reason why she was feeling like crap. 

The other reason is that he didn’t even tell her friends that she was leaving. Hell, she didn’t even know she was leaving. Up untill two days ago. Apparently her parents thought it would be best to tell her last minute so she wouldn’t freak out, but that was the worst decision ever.

Her parents even told her that she wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about them leaving. The problem is, her parents were controlling and strict. They truly did love her but sometimes that took it a little overboard. 

When she asked her parents why she couldn’t tell her friends. Her parents pretty much said they didn’t want anyone holding her back and ruining her future. 

Her parents always suspecting that Binna’a\s best friends had feelings for her, but they neve did mention it in front of her. Another thing that everyone knew about Binna, was that she was naive about  a lot of things.  Having controlling and stict parents was the cause of that. 

Her parents both came from religious families, which in return they became religious as well. They allowed Binna to choose whatever path she wanted to take when it came to religion, but that didn’t stop them from pushing thier beliefs onto her. 

So when they discovered that Binna’s best friend was in love with her they was extremely against it. So to not tain her future, they decided it would be best to move the the United States. Without telling Binna, the main reason for their moving decision.

--------------------------------------

When Binna and her parents arrived in the States, Binna went into a deep depression. It finally became real to her, when she saw her new home. Before, she couldn't imagine her life without her friends, but here she was. Sitting in her new room crying on the floor, as she continued to listen to the music from her and Lee's playlist.

Her mental health started to become better as time went on. After a month of living in the U.S.Summer break was officially over and it was now time to go back to school.

Binna's parents enrolled her in a really good private school. However, if you ask Binna, it was a school full of white privileged people, who only cared about themselves. But she couldn't be any more wrong.

On her first day everyone was nice and welcoming. They gave her a proper tour of the school, and was very gentle with her. Knowing that this was her first time in the states, and that she was still learning English. They informed her about all the extra-curricular classes she could take and the sport teams that she could try out for.

She even made friends on her first day of school. They all reminded her of her old friend group back in South Korea and she loved it.

One of her closest friends that she made at her new school was Kirsten. They met when they both tried out for volleyball. They both made the team and she loved the sport. However, she tried to give up her passion for dance. Dancing was her and Lee's special thing, and the thought of doing it without her, made her sick. So she wanted no parts in dancing if she wasn't with her korean friends.

However, that didn't last long. Kirsten was a very social and active teen. She was a part of a lot of clubs and she tried out for as many sports as she could. But she always preferred dancing, So when Kirsten had the opportunity to be a part of a well known dance crew, called the Royal Family, she took the chance. But not without forcing Binna to do it as well.

Unsurprisingly, they both made the team and to the displeasure of their parents, they had to move to New Zealand, where the dance crew was based. Their parents didn't want them to move considering they were teenagers and still in school. So before the school year ended they studied hard and took whatever test was necessary to graduate early.

Their parents were thoroughly expressed and sent them on their way to New Zealand with the proper funds. Because they were minors, Parris Goebal, the leader of the Royal Family dance crew allowed them to stay with her. In which, the three of them became really close.

With their new found sibling relationship with Parris, they started to become the main dancers in the group. They were amazingly separate but with all three of them together, they were a powerhouse.

They were extremely popular in the dance community. Articles being wrote about them, fan pages made of them, and a whole brand was made by them. They were on a rise. Everybody knew about them, and to most people in the dance community, they were known as celebrities. Binna would argue that they weren't.

Everything was going good in Binna's life, almost a little too perfect. Until the eventful night that caused Binna's life to do a complete 180.

Hi loves! I wrote this a couple months ago and posted it on Wattpad. However, I wanted to post this on Tumblr as well so here you go!!:) I hope you enjoyed it. The next Chapter will be out soon!

-L3NA

[justatypicalwizard]

Write back | S. Shinazugawa

✦ Reader is Sanemi's trainee and she made a huge mistake

✦ Word count: 2k

✦ Warnings: f!reader

‘’Why isn’t she the successor of the Pillar yet?’’

‘’Maybe she isn’t as talented as they say.’’

‘’You also know him… he’s so hard on her.’’

You were fed up with these comments. Once you started your Demon Slayer career you were quick to climb the ladder. A talented and hard working young woman. Nothing scared you away and you were excellent at completing given tasks. There was only one problem…

By the Pillars you were seen as a successor of Sanemi. He trained you at the beginning and you bloomed under his guard. The two of you were getting along, no matter how tough the man was. Still, he never accepted you as a successor to his title and didn’t train you in this way.

It all changed suddenly. You were gone for six months to get rid of a demon in a different part of the country and when you came back the white haired male acted differently. Entirely differently. He was cold and distant towards you. You never ate together and he didn’t want to train you. You tried to talk to him but he never let you be in his presence. It has been going on for two weeks now and people talking got on your nerves. They were even rude enough to claim that you ‘’cheated’’ somehow on Sameni during your long mission. 

How could you even do that? He was your master, not your boyfriend. Yes, you did meet other talented Demon Slayers there that gave you tips and helped you get through with your mission, but that’s all. You were not exclusive to him. How could anyone even think that way?

Slamming the door to your room you plopped on your bed. The white haired ignored you once more. You were angry and he didn’t seem to care, not that he cares about anything really. Stretching your arm you reached to a nightstand and pulled out a bunch of letters. 

The light and yellowish paper rustled in your hands as you started to read them again. You met a nice guy and two sweet girls on the mission. The three of you started to write letters and because of that your mail went rampage. You received a letter almost everyday, as the four of you parted ways. 

You giggled reading the letter from the guy. He wrote about his boyfriend meeting him after a month. It was sweet and funny. You started to daydream about having such a relationship with someone as your new friend. 

‘’It’s impossible for me to meet someone like that.’’ You shrugged. 

*

The next day came and you found yourself wandering, looking for nothing. You should train but your muscles were still exhausted from the mission. To be fair, you were kinda lazy when not supervised. That’s why you liked to train with Sanemi, he gave you a hard time but it made a profit. 

Suddenly you saw him in a garden, all alone. He was holding something in his hands, it looked like a letter. 

Silently you came from the back but his hearing was excellent. He darted his head your way and glared at you. Well, you weren’t afraid of this look. 

‘’Why are you ignoring me?’’ You asked, blocking the exit with your body. 

‘’I’m not ignoring you, you just annoy me.’’

‘’Mhm. What is the matter Master?’’

‘’I do have a thing to say to you.’’ He stood up coming your way. ‘’You are no longer my trainee. I officially dismissed you, get rid of yourself.’’

You stood there shocked, your hands fell to your sider. Why did he dismiss you? What did you do wrong? The mission went perfectly. What is his problem?

‘’You can’t do that! Not without an explanation.’’ You stated.

‘’I have nothing to explain to you.’’

He started to go your way, about to push you aside and leave. You put your hands on his chest and started to push him back. He looked clueless for a second, not thinking you could do something like that. The two of you pushed each other for a while and he finally got through. You wanted to grab him by his sleeve, instead you tore the letter he was holding into two. 

Now Sanemi looked at you with utter disgust. You knew you did something really bad, really bad. You felt like you are no longer able to get into a discussion with him. Your emotions were torn, the situation exhausted you and you just wanted to be left alone. 

You ran past him and lost him behind your back. The man wanted to get the second half of his letter from you but he was also frozen. That’s not like him. 

Shit.

You will finally read the letter and you will get to know what was written there. Now he wanted to run. 

*

You found your way to your room. Half of the letter still in your palm, rustling and scrambled. Not only is he treating you like the worst thing on Earth, now he wants to quit training you. Seriously, what’s his problem?

You looked at the piece of paper. Only now you realised you were holding it the whole time. Should you read it? 

Whatever, he was so rude to you that you have nothing to feel sorry for. Besides, if it was something top secret he wouldn’t be reading it in the garden just like that, he is not stupid. 

You saw handwriting you knew very well. It was your own. Below there was your signature. Why was he reading a letter from you?

Recognising it you remembered that you wrote to him the first day you arrived on your mission. This part of the letter explained the weather, accomodation and said something about the three other Demon Slayers that you didn’t know at the time. They came out to be your friends, but back then you referred to them as strangers. The bottom of the letter said:

I will write to you soon.

Y/N

But you never wrote again. It struck you. This was the first and only letter you sent Sanemi for half a year! You were so worked up with the mission, training and the new people you met that you entirely forgot about writing to him. You took the relationship the two of you had for granted. That was a mistake. 

You felt waves of guilt flow through your body. How could you be so stupid? Of course he has a point, it’s only natural that he is angry with you. Knowing him and his overreacting it was normal to get a kick in the butt. 

You had to apologise. 

You made your way to find Sanemi. He was nowhere to be seen. The last thing that came to your mind was his room. You were never there and you were never even close to that place. It kinda gave you creeps. How can someone like Sanemi actually… dress up or sleep. Do human activities. 

You had to swallow the pill. Finding his room you took a deep breath and knocked. No one answered. You knocked once more. You heard a rustle. 

‘’If you are there, I’m coming in. I have to speak to you.’’ You opened the door. 

Sanemi was just standing there. You were unsure if he was waiting for you or tried to run. 

‘’I’m sorry. I am very sorry. I just acknowledged that I’ve ignored you for half an year and you have the right to be angry with me.’’ You looked at him but he was just glaring back. ‘’I was really busy with the mission, I wanted to make you proud… and not get killed.’’

You bit your teeth. That was true. Although you met nice people the mission was hard. There were situations when you thought it would be the end of you. 

‘’Please forgive me.’’

‘’I won’t come back to being your master.’’ He growled.

‘’I understand. Just please don’t be so angry with me anymore. If I wasn’t so stupid I would write more. You also didn’t write to me even once.’’ You made a point looking at him. 

He felt attacked, he didn’t expect you to fight back this argument.

‘’I…’’ He didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t tell you the truth. ‘’I was angry with you.’’

‘’Then why didn’t you just write about it, this would have changed everything.’’ You stepped closer to look at him from below. 

‘’Are there any more reasons as to why you didn’t write?’’

‘’I said I was angry.’’

‘’Why were you so angry at one trainee forgetting to write you a letter?’’ Now you were confused, it’s not like he ever considered you a soccesser, or anything special in particular.

‘’That was not just a trainee forgetting to write!’’ He was getting very angry. 

‘’What do you mean by that?I’m literally just a trainee, what is your problem with me?’’ You were also getting frustrated. 

He never treated you like anything special and not all of sudden you are different. 

‘’Just spit it out you emotional coward!’’ You lost it.

You felt underestimated, hurt, left alone, not given a chance to compensate and fed up. 

The white haired male slammed you to the wall. You looked him in the eye not knowing what  was going on. His hands and elbows were stuck to the wooden wall beside your head. 

‘’I’m not a coward.’’ You triggered him. ‘’And you are not just a trainee. You don’t understand a thing. I was giving you hints for so fucking long. You are literally blind. Or afraid of me. Or don’t… see me as a possibility. And then you went. Half a year and I got one letter. You showed me what you think about me and I’m sucking it up right now. So if you could just please leave me alone and not fucking hurt me anymore I would be glad. Someone’s trying to unlove you and you are giving this someone a hard time.’’ He spat out every sentence. 

‘’I didn’t know.’’ He was still looking him in the eye. ‘’You are right, I was blind to your hints because I couldn’t even think about someone like you and someone like me. Also, you were my master.’’

‘’And remind me how many times did I try to get away from that position?’’

A lot, he tried a lot. 

‘’Well… now you are not my master.’’

‘’Don’t fuck with me. It really makes me hurt.’’

‘’I’m not joking. You made me aware about something, I’m giving you my opinion on it.’’ You were just so straightforward, he loved this about you. 

‘’You know what you are signing for with me?’’ He asked, inching closer to your face.

‘’Like I don’t know you.’’

You closed the space between the two of you. The short moment opened brand new desires that you were not aware of. Did you always have a crush on him? You just didn’t let that thought into your head. 

He started to kiss you everywhere on your face, your lips, cheeks, forehead and neck. He was hugging you tightly.

‘’Fuck, I was so angry this past half year. You finally make me feel good.’’ He breathed out between the kisses.

‘’I’m sorry, I'm very sorry for causing you so much pain.’’ You squeezed him tighter, your hands making their way to his broad back. ‘’I won’t do that again, never.’’

‘’You better fucking promiss because I’m about to devote myself.’’ He was never so spen before and it made you blush, hearing such things from his lips. 

‘’I promise.’’