#After that I lose interest
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YALL GIVE ME A QUEST TO DO OTHERWISE ILL GO INSANE AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY
Pls check tags
#Like. Anything.#Crafts- writing- art—#Just something to keep me preoccupied for no longer than 4 hours#After that I lose interest#also if you like.. could keep it engaging and interesting enough all the while being simple#Idk tel me to go collect some shit#Or make some shit#Not like actual shit but like.. mosaic or a drawing or a sketch or design or whatever#Make it as vague or direct as you want#Bonus brownie points for anything related to philosophy. Psychology. Or self expression as a whole. ALSO DIVINITY#Sorry the brownies do not come with weed
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morning flight.
early access + nsfw on patreon
#gaz likes to take a few laps around base in the morning. captain likes to wake up early and watch him.#i genuinely think their relationship is so interesting specifically bc gaz meets price after price loses his wing#he's never seen price fly irl and i think thats sad :')#pricegaz#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#monster 141 au#cod mw2#giragi art
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You're feeling very sick inside, well, okay...
So you've had a bad day?
I don’t know what to say...
Look what’s become of my doctor...
#i figured if I draw only sniperscout 24/7 I might burn out or lose interest in them#and I have a speeding bullet week this november that I'm planning to make through#so I'm taking a lil break#after all I need to draw red oktoberfest during october yeah??#plus they remind me of lesbians from next door from falsettos#god we need tf2 and falsettos crossover. fits SO well with engiespy#team fortress 2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 heavy#tf2 medic#heavymedic#red oktoberfest
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Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats
#stardew valley#penny sdv#I didn't mention the SECOND opportunity to lose 1500 friendship with her#because I think if you go out of your way to date her and then tell her that you don't like her that way then you deserve it#but yeah she's super volatile#i was upset for a little bit after reading that one post saying the ‘right’ answer in the 2 heart event is ableist#like nooooo not my favorite farming game :(#except that in the context of several other things in the game it becomes clear that winning someone over#does not always mean doing the right thing#looking directly at how the easiest way to befriend shane and pam is by enabling their alcoholism#which is framed as a harmful thing even if the characters themselves like it#you have to lie to befriend other characters too like with sam dropping his egg#and you can lose a little friendship based on preferences like sebastian asking about what books you like#though to be fair if i saw someone who could potentially be cool and i found out that what they like was stuff im not into id also#lose interest a little#anyway those are all examples spread around on different characters#penny's got it all at once#me post
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kiss the pain away
#vashwood#trigun#trigun stampe#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#ep 10 was crazy bc vashwood was literally the plot goodbye#i like how the most intimate moment between these two was in the goddamn sewers#i feel like that alone symbolizes so much in their relationship. im half joking BUT ITS JUST LIKE#the SPONTANEITY the PRIVACY they get in such an open Space while being literally chased / hunted after....#and vash is out here showing his scars.............. and ill always lose my mind that they gave this spotlight to wolfwood instead of#meryl and milly like in the previous versions. i dont know how else to read this other than that wolfwood is the romantic interest of stamp#it makes sense even aside from this scene. u know. wolfwood was technically the damsel in distress in ep 5-6 and vash saved/helped him.#and who stayed in the bedroom with vash.................#who rushed to his side when he got shot...... with that worried ass expression....#i dont have anything smart to say at all im just gushing over vashwood thru stampede bc its just so blatant. and its great that its blatant#bc it was blatant in trimax too. like so blatant. the romance was written in every chapter they showed up together#god#ive never witnessed a pairing more canon without being spoken as such its soooooo much theyre so much#ruporas art
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listen i know we all love steve “completely ignorant of queer culture to the point that bisexuality is a surprise” harrington being roasted and educated in turns by robin and eddie, yadda yadda, good stuff. i read “they made a horror version of rocky?��� in a fic recently and cackled. also a big fan of “he knew he was bi from the start and just never talked about it” as a trope, love it excellent well done
but what about steve who realizes after starcourt that the most important person in his life now has this thing that’s a major part of her life that he knows nothing about, and what if he fucks it up? what if he says something ignorant or rude by accident, and hurts her? what if he loses her because he didn’t know the right thing to say? what if he can’t keep her safe because he doesn’t know what to look out for? absolutely fucking not, this steve says
and listen she’d never say anything, because she can tell that he can tell how much she likes teasing him and teaching him things, so he plays dumb, and she thinks it’s very sweet. but she notices when the zines she keeps under her bed that she buys at that one secret bookshop in indy when she can sneak away on family trips start going missing, always one at a time, and replaced in a few days with another disappearing. and she finds the new ones he must have gone to buy the weekend she was at her aunt’s house hidden in the back of his closet when she goes to steal one of his sweaters. and she notices when he slips more of her queerer movie recommendations into his personal take home pile rather than the movie night stack when he thinks she’s not looking.
she doesn’t notice when he drives to indianapolis after she tries to explain to him why she can’t just ask out a cute girl, tries to impress on him the fear attached to every moment of attraction that he simply has never had to feel, but later she finds a crumpled receipt from a diner in one of his jacket pockets when she’s looking for his keys, and the address is across the street from the bar the gorgeous woman at the bookstore told her about, the one she memorized the address of but hasn’t worked up the guts to think about visiting, and she knows he must have gone looking for a place like that, must have been trying to understand, must have been scoping it out to make sure it was somewhere she could feel safe, after she told him she never had.
so when eddie nearly pops a blood vessel when they clock each other and she mentions that steve is the only person she’s ever come out to before, her hackles come up. because she gets it, she does, he’s only known king steve until recently, so it makes sense that he would be afraid, be concerned for her safety.
but steve is her person, and no one- no one- has ever made her feel as protected or as cared for as he does. no one has ever tried as hard to understand her, no one has ever put so much work into making her feel safe and seen and loved. and she thinks maybe even if no one else ever does, that’s ok. because she has steve, and more importantly steve has her, and that means no one gets to question his ally credentials in her presence without a dressing down to remember, no matter how well they mean or how recently they helped save the world.
(and maybe she’s not as surprised as she could be when he figures out bisexuality all on his own, because she’s been reading all the same pamphlets he has, after all. and she’s seen the way he looks at eddie, i mean come on. maybe no one else has noticed, but then, nobody knows steve harrington like she does.)
#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#platonic stobin#steddie#(if you squint)#this got away from me#i just really love love giving steve a bit more credit yk?#like yes he’s very stupid and he has a history of being self absorbed#and we love that about him#he’s very flawed and that makes him interesting#but i really feel like one of his defining traits is his need to be useful to the people he loves#combine that with his abandonment issues and i really feel like he would be scared of fucking up and losing robin#and yeah he would play dumb like he does with dustin and d&d#but i don’t believe he knows nothing about d&d after all this time and i don’t believe he would let himself know nothing about queer culture#i’m just so so attached to the idea of steve who knows that teasing him for being dumb is his friends’ love language with him#so he pretends to be dumber than he is so they have chances to explain things to him#also stobin sharing clothes is so so so important to me just putting that out there#anyway i just think they’re neat#my writing
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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Some lore tabs that killed me dead and I'll never recover from them. Seasonal gauntlets are about Zavala realising and coming to terms with the fact that he is mortal and has mortal pains. Also, finally, the full confirmation that Guardians resume aging when they lose their Light:
He moved his chair back and considered his knee. What had he done to hurt it? He had not exercised yet, he had not gone on his usual patrol… he had done nothing. Why would a knee hurt from doing nothing? The riddle dissolved. He was starting to age.
But also:
He allows a hand to rest on his aching knee. To venerate it. He feels it solid under his palm. It is his, it is real, it is both portentous and precious. He is aging. He will age. An absurd and joyous thought warms in his chest: how fortunate, to have lived long enough to grow old. How invaluable, to make the space between himself and the horizon matter. How much time is left? And is it best spent with his knees under a desk?
Genuinely crying over this. How fortunate to live long enough to grow old. Man. Also at the end he asks for a break for one week and Ikora offers him two weeks.
The next one just... I have no words. It has to be read in full. It's about Saint going through it, having memories of his past and also dealing with the guilt with what's happening to Mithrax. Truly every sentence in this one is a gutpunch all the way to the end. Excerpts:
The hum of activity was overpowering yet reassuring to Saint-14 as he stopped to watch an older Eliksni expertly weave fabric on a well-worn loom. The woven symbols were unique and unfamiliar to the Exo, but he watched in awe as an iridescent glow emerged within the vibrant cerulean cloth. Fit for a Kell, Saint mused to himself— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory echoed in his mind. All he could feel in this moment… was shame.
Saint remembering his crimes against the Eliksni and feeling shame.
He hurried past the weaver and through the crowd, landing squarely in front of a tea stand, a sample placed in his hand before he could open his mouth to refuse. He looked down. The opaque liquid steamed in his cup, pungent and medicinal. Like distilled Darkness, Saint realized— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory filled his sight. All he could feel in this moment… was sadness.
Tea reminded him of all the stuff with Osiris and he is not processing it well. I say excerpts but I have to put the rest entirely because like. Okay.
Saint placed his favorite keepsake, a small stuffed bear, on the Kell's throne. Gently, he adjusted the lavender ribbon at its neck; the crisp satin sat in stark contrast to the bear's hazy black eyes, to its slightly worn ear and well-loved fur. A gift, once a comfort to a child of the City. A gift, once a comfort to Saint in the face of loss, in the face of— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory swelled in his heart. Osiris. His strong laugh. His deep, soulful eyes. The warmth of his smile. Of his touch. Memories of comfort, but all he could feel in this moment… was guilt. Intense and overwhelming, like daggers cutting through him, sharpness bleeding through sweetness. Saint breathed deeply and stared at the medical equipment around the empty throne before him. "The cost of my joy," Saint whispered, and he wept.
He has a teddy bear. He once gave it to a child, but someone returned it to him when he was grieving about Osiris, to comfort him, and he'd kept it. And he put it on Mithrax's throne because he feels guilt that Mithrax is suffering because he helped him and Osiris.
I'm ending it all.
#destiny 2#destiny 2 spoilers#revenant#revenant spoilers#zavala#saint-14#osiris#mithrax#long post#i can't handle this#started reconsidering reading and being interested in lore after this#i'm just sitting here. who wrote this#these two lore tabs destroyed me#'the cost of my joy' saint loves mithrax so much it's unreal how much he can't handle that mithrax suffers essentially because of him#mithrax spent a lot of time with saint and they became absolute besties so saint thinks that mithrax felt compelled to help with osiris#and now he suffers for it and saint feels guilty. but he also feels guilty because what would be alternative. osiris forever in a coma?#saint basically having to choose between osiris and cursing mithrax and he feels bad because obviously it's osiris for him#but at what cost?#i'm about to lose it all seriously i'm gonna eat my walls
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"I'm sorry. I feel like I don't know how to...take care of you anymore."
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#caleb love and deepspace#caleblads#ladsedit#lndsedit#calebmc#CALEB I'M STILL GOING THROUGH ALL YOUR STUFF BUT AFTER READING HIS ANECDOTE I SOB#I really love him#Think he will defo be 3rd fave if not tied for 2nd#He is just so so interesting#His story has really captured me and seeing him fighting against that which has been done to him with everything but it still wins and AH#I swear MC is so loved to the point these men would lose themselves to see her safe#faaaaack#myedit
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"Bruce was so violent and irrational and dangerous after Jason died" Yeah that happens when someone murders your kid, Jessica
#some of yall are dr phil with longer hair#like look -- just a reminder that bruce's trauma is horribly mishandled by both canon AND fandom#i just think that if you're gonna get mad that bruce mourned jason like a soldier -- thats fair#but to ignore how his depression played a huge part in why 'he didn't do anything ' after jason's death is like. not ideal#bruce didn't lose a sidekick he lost a SON. and if you're not acknowledging that because its not interesting or vital to you thats fine#but dont come into my inbox bitching about it lol#bruce wayne
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Chimerasif inspired by @startagainaprologue
#codacheetah#my art#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#hi guys. Did you know that i'm normal#something interesting is i feel like the significance of the clothes tearing increases a lot when it's sif being monster#shredding apart the last thing you have of your home (after losing the other) thoughtlessly. hm#isat spoilers#dunmeshi#chimera#anyways sorry for sif underboob on the dash at 1am i guess. but not really
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liker of peculiar thing
#poot jack#something he would do i think#don't rly vibe with the gal's clothing so these are what my farmer has been wearing#story of seasons#story of seasons pioneers of olive town#fanart#harvest moon#sos poot#pioneers of olive town#poot farmer#was going after ralph bcs i like his appearance the most#but undeniably his personality is so mid; that jack's 5th heart event snatched me just like that#and then i think he suits my farmer more in term of personality#i always have the rather-not-go-with-the-blondes mindset#but here we are#character with blonde hair always has the annoying “man i'm gonna be so popular bcs i'm blonde” vibe#they are so mainstreamly loved that i just lose interest from the first round#but he is more quirky than popular i think#he looks especially handsome in that yukata#i think i am attracted with things associated with deep blue color bcs of my past fav#it brings much harmony to his hair tho
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The Sollux expressions are so sweet!!! Why's he crying in the last one?
your ask is 2mths old so sorry aghk 👁️
basically the answer is that i draw expressions reflecting my mood arnd that character LOL
#thanks for ur interest :} the alternate answer wld be that space feels infinitely colder after losing someone close 2 u#i have a few more srclinks i wanna add to the solpost but arghh ive scattered them everywhere . ill pop em in once i find em#ask#anon#homestuck#karkat vantas#aradia megido#sollux captor#arapostings#2024#vioart#+ going on tentative break for now be back in a bit hm maybe earlier if i can manage the anxiety palpitations before then#if u see my main poking around (@hivepixels) do not be alarmed#ik some ppl might be spooked by it.. isoke fear not. im jst an ant peeking thru ur aisles collecting crumbs for my house
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special operatives (silly interaction beneath read more)
[ID: Digital Art in color of Trigun Maximum, characters included are Wolfwood, Elendira, and Legato in a casual meeting situation. The piece consists of orangey yellow lighting and purple shadows. Wolfwood sits on the left side, facing Elendira who’s on the right. He’s seated on a plain wooden chair with one knee up and he’s holding the strap to his Punisher in his left hand while his right sits against his thigh, He has an irritated expression as he speaks to Elendira. Elendira is sitting in a fancier seat, her right arm rests against Wolfwood’s propped up knee, her left hand holds her suitcase. She’s sitting cross legged with an amused expression. Legato can be seen in the back at the center of the image in his mobile body case, one of his eyes shown to be glaring at Wolfwood. End ID]
[ID: Sketch, uncolored comic. Elendira says to Wolfwood, “I’m not telling you to dedicate yourself to him, but just accept the situation at hand. We could get along better if we were on the same page.” Wolfwood responds, “Don’t peg me me for an optimist. I’m not dumb. But, I’m also not going to just live in resignation. Plus, I don’t have any interest in getting along with ya.” Elendira coos, “Aw, you sure? I have a wonderful shoulder to cry on when the weak people you’re trying to protect eventually dies in the coming months. Though, I guess it’s fine. Someone like you might just die before then anyway...” She snickers in her hand while Wolfwood is speechless and just glares. Legato is faintly drawn in the back, glaring at Wolfwood, muttering “worthless” repetitively. End ID]
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d wolfwood#elendira the crimsonnail#legato bluesummers#YES they were together in scene canonically for only 1 Measly chapter. Yes legato dipped like 2 seconds later but listen#trigun has such a fun cast and such a vague sense of time that i love to just throw in whatever Chances of the gung hos meeting outside of#canonic time... i mentioned before but i do think ww just runs into them on occasion from town to town#this illust would have to take place after the remembrance of july though ofc since that was when ww first saw elendira... which is still#the funniest ww ever bc he was so Shocked. LIKE AGHAST... BC IT WAS ELENDIRA THE CRIMSONAIL. he was starstruckk it was so cute#elendira of all people deserve that kind of reaction though im glad that they hyped it up with ww of all people. bc its like wow even ww is#kind of intimidated! even though he gained his grips like 5 seconds later to talk back to her. which is why i think theyd have a funny#dynamic. and legato is just there. he does not care about them but he also hates them and it's fun to think about how that'd extend to#wolfwood after knives specifically left the gung hos up to him and then explicitly didnt say shit after giving ww a special little mission#it also is just like. legato is pretty passive in trimax until someone is actively betraying knives or when its vash#and ww also does not give a shit about legato bc he also is like. vaguely aware he'd lose in a fight. so all i make them do is stare at each#other passive aggressively. TRISTAMP on the otherhand is ridiculously insane for making legato genuinely hold enough aggression towards ww#to literally activate his character arc in the season sgmkdsgm cannot wait for final phase where legato not only deeply detest vash but also#bears a similar aggression towards ww. actually im not sure whether i should be Excited for that or not but it would be an interesting#ruporas art
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(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)
grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.
in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.
cut to wild life.
this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.
and yet:
"I'm going to have to kill Joel"
"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"
because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.
there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.
(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)
#it would be so SO interesting to add martyn into the mix#(<– probably my most common quote but. he's the brainrot singularity ok)#i don't doubt for a SECOND life series martyn is extremely selfish#(it was so nice to have that recognised after limlife – even if it arguably did get worse over time)#(cue cc!martyn's 'ren's death permanently made martyn more selfish after 3rd life')#but the thing is – does the win even mean much to him anymore?#he was so ready to take the crown he was so ready to end it all#and yet#next series he's right back. everything starts as normal. nothing changed#does it even matter anymore? is there a point? to me it's no coincidence he's started placing lower afterwards#(before it was 6th (last member of dogwarts to fall in 3rd life despite being on the losing side of the war) 3rd 3rd 1st)#there's no way he has of knowing his fragment was repaired by a listener – he has no idea what fragments even are + is unconscious in the-#-void + has NO idea watchers and listeners are even at play!#(that's sth there's often confusion around – he's NOT a listener in his lore! he's not on a similar playing fieldl! and though the watchers#did reveal themselves at the end of last life/ that was wiped from c!martyn's memory as he went into the light (lore stream)#he's a regular confused traumatised person whose changed for the worse over the death games whom the watchers dislike after evo#who just wants things to be over with...)#anyway this to say#though if he WANTED to get to the end i'm SURE he wouldn't sacrifice himself (c!martyn at least – it's still relatively close to the win so#-not sure abt cc!martyn)#...does he actually want to?#anyway martyn ramble over#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#3rd life smp#secret life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar gtws#trafficblr#double life smp
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