#Adolin in Prison

[stormscience]

New Chapter on To Mend Without Thread

hey folks, for NaNoWriMo, I have decided to write a chapter a day for Mend, my main longfic. Things get really exciting in chapter 54, and I want to have something to look orwed to after reading Wind and Truth!

[isdalinarhot]

God learning Sadeas was canonically in modern day fat and so whenever Adolin is talking about Sadeas like what a bulbous freak get your bulbous hands off me he’s doing a microaggression instead of just being petty……… well it really put me off Adolin in a major way. Like oh :/ if we ever disagreed about something he’d be a bigot to me :/ sort of vibes

[emys-123]

That one chapter in words of radiance where Kaladin ends up in prison after saving Adolin.

[nevertheless-moving]

adolin half teasing kaladin while out for drinks sometime in Urithiru: you know your feats on the shattered plains aren't quite as impressive now that I've seen more of your magic glowing powers thing.

Kalidan: hm

Adolin: knew there was something weird about you. Ha. I mean i was amazed at the time, but surviving the fall from that bridge sabotage isn't really anything now that I've seen-

Kalidan: actually I didn't have my powers for that part

Adolin: what

Shallan: it's true he didn't

Kalidan: Lost syl right after prison, I got maybe a chip of stormlight while falling , just enough to not die, no powers the rest of the time

Adolin: how

Kalidan: I already explained the whole - with elhokar and moash -

Adolin: no, i mean, the highstorm -

Kaladin: yeah that was shallan

Shallan: shardblade cubby cut out part way up the wall

Adolin: and the chasm fiend? It really was already dead -

Shallan: no very much alive, very much tried to kill us

Adolin: and you-

Shallan: no that was kaladin

Adolin: what

Kaladin: I mean you did distract it, and I wouldn't have been able to do anything without your pattern blade

Adolin: you killed a chasm fiend. Without special powers.

Kaladin: I mean shallan-

Shallan: he jumped right in its mouth!

Adolin: i - you killed a chasm fiend. Without any other fighters. By yourself. Without radiant powers. You're - you're sure? No special abilities?

Kaladin: it was a pretty painful time, yes I'm sure. Did some spear katas. Noticeable difference without the bond with syl.

Adolin: you fought the chasm fiend. handicapped.

Kaladin: I guess? I dont know if it's handicapped considering, you know, most people don't ever breathe stormlight.

Adolin: you killed a chasm fiend singlehandedly. Without shardplate. And without any powers.

Kaladin: you're repeating yourself

Shallan: ...it was pretty impressive

Kaladin: you saw how messed up my leg got!

Adolin:

Adolin: I hate you so much.

[cosmerelists]

The Shallan and Wit Podcast Presents: Insane Conspiracy Theories of Roshar

What do you mean they don't have podcasts on Roshar?

1. Conspiracy Theory #1: Adolin was replaced by a body double after the 4 v. 1 duel

Shallan: Oh, this is a fun one! Shallan: According to some conspiracy theorists, Adolin--my husband--actually died of injuries after his four versus one duel, and after that he was replaced by a body double. Wit: A good story, Shallan, but what is their so-called evidence? Shallan: Well, apparently the time he spent in "prison" after the duel was actually the time it took for him to die of his injuries, be buried, and for them to find a suitable body double. Shallan: People also claim that the new "Adolin" is far different from his predecessor, citing things like him actually getting married--ouch--and the fact that he acted out by killing a highprince, perhaps because the body double is not totally stable. Plus, people claim that his brother Renarin has since gotten weirder, possibly because he knows the truth and it's killing him. Wit: Well, as the wife of the potential body double in question, what do you have to say to these theorists, Shallan? Shallan: How dare you--I'M the one with body doubles!

2. Conspiracy #2: There was no Assassin in White

Wit: This theory actually comes in two flavors. Wit: Some claim that there simply never was an "Assassin in White" and that King Gavilar was killed by his inner circle--perhaps even by his brother Dalinar. Shallan: Gasp! Wit: Others buy that SOME killings were done by the assassin, but claim that many other high-profile killings were simply pinned on him! Basically, that it was an assassination free-for-all where you could easily get away with murder just pinning it on Szeth! Shallan: I mean, if you wanted to get away with murder, it's not a bad play...but what do you think? Wit: Met the guy. He readily admits to doing all of it. Shallan: Puts a crimp in the theory...if you believe an assassin! Wit: Dum, dum, DUM! Wit: Anyway.

3. The Plague in the Purelake was caused by ALIENS

Shallan: So there really was a plague in the Purelake--that much is true--but some people claim that it's not a natural plague, that it was caused...by aliens! Wit: As in...visitors from another planet? Shallan: Yes! Wit: Oh, well that one's true. Shallan: ... Wit: Worldhoppers. Shallan: Oh. Wit: Yup. Shallan: Score 1 for the conspiracy theorists, I guess!

4. Conspiracy Theory #4: Gavilar and Dalinar are the same person.

Wit: It's another one about your inlaws, Shallan! Shallan: Yay? Wit: This conspiracy theory holds that Gavilar and his brother Dalinar are in fact the same person! Wit: In his guise as Gavilar, he played the wise king, but when he wanted to let loose and bring bloody vengeance, he became "Dalinar." Shallan: Again, I'm the one who is multiple people! It feels like sexism somehow that it's all the men who are assumed to be, like, body doubles and fake people. Wit: You're probably right. Shallan: Anyway, I'll be interested to hear the evidence seeing as Dalinar and his brother were, like, seen together. A lot. Wit: Eh, "body double" explains that away. As for why people think this is true--well, it is apparently because it "explains so much." Why did Sadeas and Dalinar have a falling out? Because Sadeas knew the truth and didn't want to hide it any more. Why did Sades become the Highprince of Information? To signal that he had information that others needed to know. Why was Sadeas killed? Because he knew the truth, once again. Why did Navani marry her husband's "brother"--well, because she just missed him after having to pretend he was dead! Shallan (sarcastically): Well, I'm convinced. Wit: So compelling to be sure.

5. Conspiracy #5: Super-intelligent cremlings can imitate humans!

Shallan: For the final conspiracy theory of today's podcast, let's talk about all of Roshar. Apparently, there are people everywhere who aren't people at all--they're masses of cremlings pretending to be a person! Shallan: Literally ANYONE you meet could actually be BUGS! Wit: Ridiculous! Shallan: Yeah...this one is a little bit silly. Wit: The Sleepless are made of hordelings, not cremlings, and there's just not that many of them. The odds of your average person meeting one are simply not that high. Shallan: Wait...this one is true too? Wit: I just said it wasn't (quite)! Shallan: Trying to get a conspiracy started about yourself, I see. Wit: It's of course my dream.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Shallan "super observant" Davar, Adolin "used cologne in prison" Kholin and Kaladin "all light-eyes suck" Stormblessed are the ultimate mean girl trio. the Plastics of the shattered planes. put in your bets which one will be run over by a bus

[diabolicalworldwriter]

Jesus, I just got to the point in Words of Radiance where Kal is in prison and Dalinar basically says "You're not going to end racism by being radical and acting upset about it. You can't just expect us to treat you like an equal because you're not one. Play nice and maybe the racists will grow to respect you"

I.

Buddy what the fuck

In general I think I've found that I'm... Not as fond of Dalinar as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, he does some great things and he's constantly trying to improve and I appreciate that. Flawed characters make stories interesting and I think Brandon does a fantastic job of writing him. However, he is overly strict and judgemental (Still not forgiving him for hating on Adolin for trying to express himself a bit more through style in ROW; let my boy dress up a bit if he wants), he struggles to accept other ways of doing things (we could look to Adolin again, being "too friendly" with those he commands and Dalinar going "noooo they might respect you less if they think you see them as an equal individual"), and while he talks about how he wants to change how everything works, if someone tries to defy convention in a way he doesn't approve of he shuts them down. (Kaladin pointing out very fair issues with how dark eyes are punished severely and light eyes get away with everything only to be talked down at until he shut up and fell in line, for example.) He wants change and has power to bring it about but won't do anything too radical for it, I guess, and that frustrates me. He tends to support systems as long as they work for his own goals, even if they're still exploitative and deeply unjust, while also complaining that everyone else is being exploitative and unjust. I dislike that he acts like he's doing Kaladin such a favor by treating him as almost an equal. "I'm sticking my neck out by treating you like a human, act civil and don't try to speak too loudly about the injustices yet, you might make the others uncomfortable." Dalinar isn't like other light eyes, he's so quirky and different and sometimes acts a bit less classist and racist!!! Aren't we lucky!! Idk maybe I'm stating my point a bit too strongly but damn. He's giving "yeah I'm a stubborn old man but really I'm quite progressive, I don't even go out of my way to hate crime people"

Words of Radiance, while I enjoy it, is rather difficult to get through because it's just so many main characters who I generally appreciate being awful to/supporting or ignoring awful behavior towards Kaladin and if he reacts they're like ":0000 how dare he attack first" (I appreciate Zahel chewing out Adolin for antagonizing and then fighting Kal in shardplate because goddamn Adolin I love you but that sucked.)

I'm finding Elhokar a lot more unlikeable on this reread as well. He's meant to be unlikeable of course, so good job on that, but Jesus he can be the worst. Honestly standing beside my past thoughts that what Moash did wrong was not in turning on the system that oppresses him and all the dark eyes, but just that he knowingly hurt Kaladin and other people who cared about him repeatedly and severely to do so.

I'm on board with killing horrible leaders (especially if it seems the only way to remove them and stop them from causing harm: people shouldn't have to suffer and die as part of a leader's learning curve and character growth, and going "they're working on it" when people are actively suffering is garbage. I'm still sad at Elhokar's death but I'm not sad that he's no longer king) but I draw the line at abusing and killing one's friends and I am just hoping he comes to terms with what he has done wrong and improves in book five.

Anyways that was long and scattered I'm sorry lmao you should have heard my rant to my poor cousin, I was rambling for like half an hour.

[heliosandsonchariotco]

(something something against the himbo Adolin agenda) but also Kaladin being barbie-coded (great hair, many jobs). Also Adolin did once join in on the prison time, just for vibes that one time.

[thatfoxnamedfinley]

You Cannot Have My Pain aka Oathbringer thoughts

I am an empty shell

in both a good and a bad way

it's 5:28AM as I start to write this

MOASH

how DARE you

Dalinar I actually love you

Odium, u r actually a CREEP dude

spoilers will be under the cut *bows an emotionally drained bow*

*stares into the distance, watching the waves crash onto the shore*

Do you guys ever relate to a character that's nothing like you? Like, something happened in your life that CONNECTS you to a character? For me, that's Dalinar.

And I know what you're thinking

WHAT bitch?

a warlord tyrant turned peacemaker, eh? r u a criminal bitch?

No. But I did lose my mom to cancer in 2022. My internal landscape changed overnight. The things I deemed important changed. I was able to finally see my flaws, made bare by my immense regret (a normal feeling when grieving) and it look a LOT of therapy to forgive myself. I didn't like the person I was. I was selfish, was quick to judge and didn't desire human connection, and I was so mad at myself that it took my mom dying to spark that change.

Without making this a TED Talk, I deeply connected to Dalinar's grief that struck me in an unexpected way.

"Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing." Oh...? Oh. Oh. TEARS down my face.

LET US BEGIN.

So, we BEGIN the book with Dalinar seeing a figure in black Shardplate with nine shadows and red eyes

oh ok

Oh bro when Elhokar bowed down to Dalianr trying to abdicate and name Dalinar a Highking...& Dalinar and Navani are like

!! bro !! GET UP

OMG!!

WHEN HIS MEMORY CAME BACK OF EVI

I remember reading it and they were like "blah blah blah yeah, Evi" and I was like bro WAIT A FUCKING SECOND DUDE

oh oh oh

When Pattern asked if Adolin was an option for him to marry LMFAO ok Pattern we get it hahhhahhaha Pattern is so funny dude

Even in Shadesmar when he and Adolin were pretending to be illusions and he was happily waving a glass stick above his head, I'm like damn he's....a little touched tbh

Dalinar strolling around during a highstorm looking for a fucking knife was iconic as well as him spotting the assassin in literally 0.5 seconds and murking him and everyone in the room is like

Gavilar was like "um thanks"

Blackthorn Unleashed was an amazing chapter. He went into Bloodstance - a stance for someone who didn't care if he got hit and he was RAGING

But you know what I also noticed about this chapter? Gavilar like, casually put a hit out on Highprince Kalanor and juts points Dalinar wherever he wants. And I GET IT, right? Like, the Alethi are good at war. Everyone talks about it, it's what they're known for.

HOWEVER, the enabling of Dalinar's behavior is, at times, sickening. Even though I know this is a cultural thing and they all see it as a good thing. There were several times in this book where Sadeas or Gavilar said something to push Dalinar towards violence that I was like YO this is super fucked up.

Tangerine had a interesting quote too. He was telling a story about how if there were 3 people and one was a murderer, would you hang all of them, let them all go and risk someone killing again, or keep them all in prison despite some being innocent. And Tangerine said

"Eventually you will execute someone who does not deserve it. This is the burden society must carry in exchange for order." And I'm sitting here in the US of A like

holy fuck we're rich bitches <-- my audiobook bookmark when the Midnight Mother is chased away by Shallan's phalanges and we see all the uncut gems in the pillar thingy

JASNAH WELCOME BACK BITCH I was lit and it was so unexpected, she was such a badass in this book. At the end when she isn't even looking when she's killing The Fused and when she steps into politics and I'm like oh Jasnah will STEAMROLL these mother fuckers

OMG when Adolin was like I am NOT going to be king, dad and Shallan was like "hmm have you guys ever thought of..." and I rolled my eyes and was like "Renarin, duh. He'll have more prominence in the story this way and"

*Jasnah walks into the room with a crown on*

OF COURSE!! IM A FUCKING IDIOT!!! OF COURSE JASNAH SHOULD RULE. Omg I feel like she hates politics but she's the PERFECT one for the job! She can be the best diplomat but also fuck them up with words (or she could soulcast tf outta them)

OH! Evi suggesting the Nightwatcher first was a surprise

omg wait about Evi

she was amazing. she tried so hard despite not fully understanding everything (I do blame Dalinar because he made decisions, but I mostly blame Alethi culture, here. I cursed out loud multiple times at their NEED for conquest and war, growing frustrated at how narrow minded that can make them. as well as how cruel). she was scared of him, but she had this one moment when she told Dalinar after finding out that he had actually spared that child, that she saw BEAUTY in him. i was like oh bitch you are a baby angel

she tried so hard for Dalinar. even that scene when Adolin crawled down from the carriage and he saluted Dalinar...and Evi said Adolin asked her the best way to talk to him and when she told him he was a war general he decides to salute

that's just....that moment was so sweet despite Dalinar still not understanding how to be a father

LIFT SAYING THAT DALINAR HAS A DUMPTRUCK OF AN ASS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES

Lift out here like "HEY YO TIGHT BUTT WHATS GOING ON?"

holy fuck

Dalinar in canon having a nice ass is one of the funniest, most unexpected comedic jokes of this series

oh, Shallan was supposed to take notes but was drawing Kaladin instead ok girl

Teft being addicted to firemoss and Rock saving Kaladin with the Shardbow were both so amazing characters moments. teft having so much self hatred and selling his uniform which ended up coming back around when the person who attacked bridge 4 for the herald blade had his vets on PHEEWW and Rock saving the day I SCREAMEDDDDD!!! OMG ROCK!!!

"You're thinking of me," the Stormfather sent. "I can feel it."

BRO WHAT???????????? STAY IN THE STORM WHY YOU SAYING WEIRD SHIT

Jasnah vs Amaram was legendary. She REALLY said do you feel lucky today, punk

ODIUMMMMMMMMM

yo when Odium showed up literally the nicest dude wanting to braid Dalinar's hair I was like HELL NO this man is dangerous

then when he showed Dalinar his final form I GUESS he's like all hatred and passion and sex and bloodlust and im like oh HELL NO dude

"Emotion. It is what defines men - though ironically you are poor vessels for it. It fills you up and breaks you unless you find someone to share the burden with" oh ok cool odium, lol poor weak humans, fuck us then i guess

Kaza was maybe the most memorable one off character for me, the soulcaster woman who was dying and chose to kamikaze at the end because she wanted to choose how she went out

Lift and Dalinar eating fruit together in silence is, I fear, iconic

i cracked up at the myth wit told about the queen who switched places with Mishim (the moon) to fuck Nomon (the other moon) and that's why Natanatan people are blue

like wtf bitch

Adolin telling Kaladin he talks like a girl sometimes....oh? Adolin? OH?????? *smirks in Alethi*

The Rathalas scene was nuts. The thing was he tried too, Dalinar tried to offer some sort of mercy and they fucked his ass with a pole. Then he's like ok, dope *embraces Thrill in a sensual embrace* "None will be left to weep" got it cool cool cool

I do like the little hints left, like he sees red (which we see later is the Unmade) and all the times he's briefly seen red and flashes of red we know was the Nergaoul, who was thought to be the origin of the Alethi "Thrill" which I found fascinating

OOOOOOH MY GOD

MOASH

MOASH!!!

FUCKING MOASH

HOW DARE YOU!!!

after he was EMOTIONLESS when he KILLED Elhokar then SALUTED KALADIN WITH THE BRIDGE FOUR SALUTE RIGHT AFTER IT

Literally fuck Moash (his arc is fine and it's interesting because we get more lore but I dont like him)

THEN HE SHANKS JEZRIAN like MOASH wtf are you DOING bro?!?!?!?!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?

I liked how cautious Queen Fen was but then remained an ally when shit hit the fan (I liked how cautious everyone was tbh because they're all just so scared of ThE BLAcKtHoRn and youre like bro come ON but then you're like oh yeah ok i get it)

I LOVED Dalinar's flashbacks. With the Nightwatcher (then Cultivation after Dalinar asked for forgiveness and NW was like ??? and Cultivation was like "I got it from here bitch"), and when he breaks down and holds Renarin ("They talk about you, but they're wrong. You just need to rest, after all the fighting you did. I know. And I miss her too." RENARIN PLEASE!!! THE TEARS I HADDD!!!!!), when Adolin lights up after Dalinar tells him he's proud of him, how he thinks of himself as an animal, that he deserves to be hated. It's all just so MUCH.

The PANIC ATTACK he was having when the Thrill like, chased him around and threatened to consume him...

It was so well done that the

YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN was so GOOD it was so EARNED. God, the CATHARSIS I felt in that moment was so satisfying. Because bitches i really thought Dalinar was going to become Odium's champion and out intrepid heroes were going to have to fight DALINAR in book 4

Odium: lol I've had my champion for a long ass time, bro. ive been preparing him and watching him forever

Dalinar: Amaram?

Odium: lmfao bro its you bro

Dalinar: ...bro

and I was like

Then Dalinar said JUST KIDDING BITCHES and the GLORY SPREN!!! BY THE THOUSANDS!!! AND HE SMASHED ALL THE REALMS TOGETHER!!! AND HE SAVED ADOLIN KALADIN AND SHALLAN!!!

YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN!!!!!

"I KILLED THOSE CHILDREN. I BURNED THE PEOPLE OF RATHALAS!"

oh my god I have GOOSEBUMPS AGAIN

truly one of the most cathartic reading experiences I've had. The investment of 3000+ pages was worth it for that moment, and I mean that sincerely. It was that good

(Side note when Adolin's sword spren with her clawed out eyes attacked that one Fused I was overcome with emotion. What was her name? Maya? I think? that was a great scene too)

yo. SZETH. Brandon Sanderson you brilliant bastard. You did it. You gave us Szeth. Yes. YES. He's chosen to swear and oath to DALINAR. My man DK just be picking up bitches left and right to do his bidding. Kaladin, Lift, Szeth, Rial, Kmakl.

Lift was amazing. Her parts were so much FUN and the atmosphere shift to her personality was so welcome and uplifting and funny when it happened.

Jasnah's moment with Renarin was beautiful. "You are my cousin. Family, Renarin! Hold my hand. Run with me." SO SO SO SO GOOD Jasnah you are a legend you are THE MOMENT

Venli's Timbre pulsing to Victory as he has the Voidspren of her gemheart at knifepoint lmao (Im so glad she's a Radiant now, can't wait to see if she is developed more)

I feel like I have more thoughts (there was so much lore in his book but I'm not sure I have the energy to dissect it rn) but it's 7:22am and I haven't slept so im sorry if this post was unstable

good night lovelies

*sits up violently* wtf is up with sja-anat bro

ok *passes out*

*sits up again with eye mask on* yo Tangerine is gunna be a fucking problem and wtf Renarin has a corrupted spren right??

*wakes up and crawls on top of table, swaying with exhaustion*

I LOVE DALINAR KHOLIN A LOT OK I HAVE STRUGGLED SINCE MY MOM DIED IN GRASPING THAT DESPITE YOUR PAST YOU CAN CHANGE AND ITS POSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND THE BEAUTY OF LIFE MORE AFTER YOU'VE EXPERIENCED THE PAIN OF LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVE BECAUSE THEY CAN NO LONGER EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU

AND THAT GRIEF ISN'T FATAL BUT SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE IT COULD BE BUT IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN OF GUILT AND REGRET IT CAN ACTUALLY MORPH YOU INTO A BETTER PERSON IF YOU LET IT

[snorange]

The most infamous line in The Words of Radiance

"And for my boon" This line manages to take Kaladin from the great high of seeing Adolin saved from certain death to the tremendous low of seeing prison because of the betrayal of the lighteyes. I have a serious problem with this scene as I feel it breaks the world building of the series. Kaladin is dismissed and punished for being an uppity dark-eyes, for challenging Ameran's honor and station without having an appropriate social ranking to do so. Kaladin is treated as foolish and is released under the idea he was caught up in the moment and not acting rationally.

The reason I take issue with this resolution is that in Alethi culture Kaladin is right. A lot of time in The Way of Kings is spent impressing upon the readers the deep cultural idea that society is social advancement is possible. And that the ultimate act of social advancement is to best a shardwielder in combat and claim it for yourself. That combined with the fact that Adolin's duel was explicitly playing for keeps means that Kaladin is a lighteyes of the 4th dahn in Alethi society when he says "and for my boon". He is not disparaging Ameran as a peasant but as someone one rank below him and very much still high class.

This interpretation of Alethi culture is likely to be unpopular with lighteyes as it is a threat to the status quo and their social status. The important ramifications being the disillusionment of the darkeyes that make up the Alethi armies. There should be riots in the war camps because the lighteyes by arresting kaladin they destroyed one of the lies that allow soliders to continue dying so their brightlord can get rich on gemhearts. This belief is shown to be at least fairly common among soliders in Sadeas's army via Gaz and the deserters that became Shallan's honor guard.

[thoughts-ideas-statements]

Adolin and Kaladin judging each other

Me: I want them to be best friends!

Adolin staying in prison for the duration Kaladin had to be there.

Me: They're going to be best friends!

[myasphodelmeadow]

I just finished chapter 66 Stormblessings and, oh, boy, that was a rollercoaster.

Kaladin in that cell, feeling the darkness crept in. It's really hard seeing him slip into that mood. Fortunately, he is released!

We find Adolin had also spent time in prison willingly. And they finally have a bonding moment. Their conversation is so good. I particularly like this exchange:

Also, Adolin is fully convinced about Amaram, surprising Kaladin. 🥹 And gives him a full set as a gift! Which Kaladin accepts but passes on to Moash.

Even if Kaladin and Adolin are starting to have a better understanding, Kaladin still worries how Adolin will react to his decision. And while Adolin tries to make Kaladin reconsider, he eventually accepts it. Syl was right when she said this time it was going to end differently.

Until this point everything was wonderful but then that conversation with Moash happens. 😧

This was truly a rollercoaster.

[isdalinarhot]

adolin does hate sadeas because sadeas was voted times least likeable man on roshar and also for the whole leaving him to die on the shattered plains thing. but like. they are very similar. very similar.

-both care a bunch about fashion and self image; adolin is the "good" side of this, wearing ostentatious clothing for fun and because he has a legitimate passion for fashion, whereas sadeas is the "bad" side of this, wearing fancy clothing to construct an image and demonstrate spite for dalinar

-both adolin and sadeas completely disrespect dalinar's moral code and means of existing, but for adolin it's arguably justified, as dalinar is 1. his father and as such has a level of power over him and that's stifling him 2. LITERALLY THE GUY WHO SET HIS MOM ON FIRE whereas sadeas is just a dick because dalinar got sober too late to help save gavilar but just early enough to be the most insufferable man on the shattered plains

-adolin fights in a very Showy manner. dalinar wont shut up about how sadeas is a Showman. idk i think theres a level of foilness there

-both sadeas and adolin are judgy as hell, but see, when adolin is going off in his head about how ugly and bulbous sadeas is it's okay because sadeas is evil and you can always be fatphobic about evil people /s

-weird about women in general but loves their wife very much. no, adolin not knowing where the clit is leading in 200 dissatisfied ex girlfriends is not anywhere near as bad as sadeas raping prisoners of war at age 16, but i think it has to be stated. they are both bad at women but inexplicably good husbands considering their whole *gestures* everything

-bisexual

[yerfriendmolly]

The Stormlight Reprise 19: They’re Fucking Our P-

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE we're back. oaths upheld

WE DISCUSS: Zi-O, The Rooms, Metaphor Endgame, StageFright, Excalibur, Nine Sols, Adolin’s Balance Patch, Kaladin’s Therapy, The Sibling, Toxic Yuri Anticipation, Everybody Hates Lirin, Lift is Sad, and more!

(Totally Reprise is a weekly rewatch podcast currently covering The Stormlight Archives. Previously we've covered a ton of TV shows, like Totally Spies, The Prisoner, Twin Peaks, Gravity Falls, and more! You can find our archive at https://www.audioentropy.com/totally-reprise)!

[nevertheless-moving]

STORMLIGHT ARCHIVE AU MASTERLIST

List will be updated with links if/when AUs develop For my Star Wars AU Masterlist: Please See Here As always, people are more than welcome to play with any of these ideas! just please link back to me so I can see! Seriously if you want to write stuff in any form with ideas from any of these aus I will love you forever! 1 to 20: Words of Radiance AUS 21 to 30: Non Words of Radiance AUs (note: these might also be WOR AUs) 31 to 40: Post Winds and Truth Wild Speculation (that may or may not also be a WOR AU)

1 to 20 Words of Radiance AUS

2. High oath Hesina willshaper aus. This is actually many many AUs because the "Mom??" Reveal is great in all contexts. Concept, WOK Era Outline, Brief Fanfic, Art

3. Renarin asks Kaladin for help with radiant stuff during WOR. Secret training. Everyone thinks they're fucking. Chapter 1 and Outline/Meta

4. Elhokar drunk orders kaladin to bedchambers, begs for help keeping away nighmare creatures. Kaladin nearly kills him before scary spren realization, then goes into serious radiant mode when syl gets concerned. Everyone thinks they're fucking. [Note: I might be too easily entertained by this trope]. Kaladin is deeply pained by this but also has people saving thing and really doesnt want to reveal the radiance to the whole camp. Earlier third oath. Eventual fucking optional.

5. Crack. AUs 3, 4, and 9 at same time so people just think Kaladin is the Kholin Rhysadium. Bridge 4 offers government overthrow if he's being pressured. kaladin assures them that's not it. Now people keep trying to high five him. Kaladin with head in hands while Moash snarks over his shoulder "you know when i said fuck the lighteyed i didn't —" Kaladin definitely asexual in this one.

6. Hesina and lirin come to shattered planes, shocked/thrilled/emotional to find kaladin. Bridge 4 desperately trying to get approval of [bugs bunny meme our] parents. Lirin reluctantly adopting renarin who wants to learn about healing now for some reason. Blackthorn surgeon mutual loathing/ jealousy son swap hilarity. Lirin is having a time. 

7. Kaladin wasn’t on guard duty the night of szeth arrival. Still warned by syl about assassin, but has to dead sprint while glowing to get across camp fast enough, soft reveal to anyone outside. Only barely figures out wall running on the way over to crash in window just in time. Szeth freaks out and runs away after very short, mildly anticlimactic interaction. And now Kaladin has to deal with Everyone.

8. Kaladin further along in powers during initial szeth fight. Battle of champions degrading to slap fight when they run out of stormlight and get stuck on the plains. Concept/ Ask, Funny Severed Leg

9. Manufactured rumors about adolin/kaladin. Everyone thinks they're fucking. Effective political mudslinging for most of WOR. Shallan plays up things about her relationship with Jasnah to be a more appealing beard.

10. Kaladin has a meltdown in prison, breaks out of his cell. Just a little bit more stormlight...Shouts of alarm. Aaah glowing Assassin in white! Kaladin panics more. Adolin handles the situation like a champ. Kaladin maybe briefly kidnaps him.

11. Nale goes after kaladin instead of lift. Ohhh so many thoughts for parallels.

12. Syl immediately dive bombs pattern when kaladin and shallan meet. Really early radiant reveal but just to each other. Kaladin does not trust her but doesn't want to reveal his own status so just watches her super intensely...since she's also constantly watching him too, yes, this gets misinterpreted, but she actually picks up on and avoids that interpretation. See au 3 through 5 but more discreet. Veil is the one dragging him from the barracks for late night 'training sessions' [these are actually training sessions but veil flirts outrageously with kaladin when anyone's in earshot] so people are more focused on Veil/Kaladin.

13. Adolin, suspicious after the Assassin in White fight, was secretly following kaladin at night. Sees him step off a ledge into a chasm (I just reread the section and was like?! You glanced over your shoulder once?!). Adolin spends the whole night stewing in regret, anger, grief, guilt (I was there. I could have yelled. Should have done something. I didn't realize...I didn't know. I didn't know anything). Next morning Kaladin is on guard duty and adolin flips his shit, suddenly remembering that the whole reason he was suspicious of this guy was because he inexplicably survived a several hundred foot drop.

14. Kaladin barely manages to hold it together just long enough to out himself as radiant right after prison. Part One, Part two

15. Kaladin does NOT hold it together after getting arrested.

16. Kaladin swears third oath early. Next few weeks involve a lot of hiding glowing bridgeman squire antics and gaslighting people about kaladin's intermittently light eyes.

17. In the initial confrontation with Szeth, Kaladin pushes a bit harder about the radiants being back, Szeth spirals a bit more, crashing realization that he isn't truthless...

17a.  Earlier radiant reveal: szeth surrenders the honor blade and then immediately collapses into the ground. Kaladin drags him and the blade upstairs. Has to reveal himself now because 1) kaladin what the fuck how and 2) the assassin is mumbling about radiants. 17b. Szeth commits suicide by cop Radiant. Kaladin takes honorblade, collapses. When he wakes up hes injured, surrounded by lighteyes and a handful of his men. Intense panic attack about dooming them all by winning a shardblade, maybe a full ptsd flashback because Very Specific Shardblade Winning Trauma. Crazy two nickles moment. Downside: cries a lot in front of people he'd rather not have cried in front of. Upside: Dalinar believes him about Amaram now. Public windrunner powers, but obscured Radiant reveal because glowing assassin sword is very clearly granting magic powers. Weird interactions of honorblade bond and nahel bond. Lot of interesting fallout from Dalinar having his very own Mystical Assassin now.

18. Kaladin sends Syl to spy on the 'horneater princess', one sided radiant discovery. When she sends pattern to spy on bridgeboy, he somehow notices. Shallan does not handle it well. 

19. Something something people put together all the impossible stuff Kaladin's done with all the impossible stuff the Blackthorn did as a youth, combined with one of bridge four drunkenly talking about their best theories for the Captains 'mysterious backstory,' combined with Dalinar literally calling Kaladin son and seemingly overnight the warcamps are convinced that Kaladin is Dalinar's bastard child.

20. (COLLABORATIVE with @gnecrognomicon) Instead of being thrown in prison, Elhokar orders Kaladin be strung up for the Stormfather's judgement. Part One, Part Two

21 to 30 Non Words of Radiance AUs

22. Way of kings au where the beggars of alethkar are rounded up for the war effort. Jezrian, of course, ends up on bridge four.

23. Kaladin time travel au to way of kings only the transition is a bit like a spren going from the cognitive to material realm, so he's not all there. Heartwarming bridge four bonding slightly to the left - sure the mans crazy but he looks so disappointed when we don't help with the injured, and he shares his food like an idiot. How does someone seven foot tall and stronger than a chull make axehound pup eyes. We're not following him though. He's not our lead - holy heralds balls is he glowing??  Bit more of a symbol than a friend, but a symbol that you take turns holding at night because he has really bad nightmares and also hes clingy.  Eventual 'oh shit he's a messed up herald' conclusion.

24. COLLABORATIVE / stone soup with @sweetteaanddragons : adolin and kaladin time travel to way of kings. Kaldin brooding about how to escape AND save all his men AND the world until adolin barges in and buys everyone. 

'Thank the almighty,' Kaladin thought with almost painful relief, watching Adolin argue haughtily with a growing swarm of Thadeus's lighteyes. 'I never thought I'd actually appreciate having a rich friend.' He would, of course, rather die than admit this. "I had it handled," he growled, when the two finally managed to speak inconspicuously, each weaving amongst a thousand confused former bridgeman, speaking quietly with several, until they were able to meet in the middle with reasonable subtlety, all things considered. "That's great, Kal," Adolin said cheerfully, clearly not buying a word. "Say, how would you feel about doing some, you know..." He waved a hand, earning a raised eyebrow from Kaladin. "Glowy stuff for my Father," his voice dropped from a subtle hush to a slightly conspicuous whisper. "So he doesn't disinherit me. I did not have permission for this."  Both pairs of eyes flicked to the side, the Blackthorn's towering figure approaching like a Stormwall. "Uh. Sooner rather than later perhaps."

26. Oathbringer/row au. Adolin doesn’t kill sadeus. Mostly just excuse to dunk on Sadeus for trading one (1) shardblade for mythical warrior who can make his own shardblade. oh look more of your former slaves are glowing now. and THEY make shardblades too!

27A. Elhokar and Kaladin time travel from Elhokar's death in oathbringer to way of kings. Part one, Part Two

27B. Elhokar solo time travels back from Oathbringer death to Way of Kings

28. Moash tells kaladin about beef with elokhar early. This derails the entire plot of the series.

31 to 40 Post Winds and Truth Wild Speculation

31. Szeth kaladin crack pity fuck time travel au words of radiance. Bridge four roasts the shit out of kaladin. Kaladin is doing everything in his power to avoid implying "knowledge of future" which makes the timeline of their relationship deeply confusing. (Part One) (Part Two)

32. Szeth kaladin time travel au post book 5, they get their memories back in the high storm right before canon first meeting. Szeth halfheartedly attempting a confused assassination. Kaladin suddenly has shardplate and no scars. It's a whole thing.

33. Kaladin time travel back to wor, book 5 gone wrong. Deeply terrifying from outsider pov. Captain of the Kholin guard, bridgefour leader, is suddenly Full fourth oath windrunner talking about how humans are the voidbringers, they actually need to support the parshendi in bringing one last controlled desolation, and then kill the heralds and also god. Don't worry not our god. Different god. Our god is already dead. If someone else travels back with him then it swings around to a lil bit funny.

34. Post winds and truth, pre sunlit man, crossover with the twilight of mistborn era 2 (i think the cosmere timeline could make sense but if not, oh well). Kaladin gets a boon from his god(s). Requests to learn more about mental health. Has to go to another planet to do so, because mental health research on Roshar sucks. Scadrial's god seems (relatively) friendly and their planet has developed antidepressants AND wellness seminars. Shenanigans with Very Old Wax and the gang.

35. Jasnah, Dalinar, and Renarin (surviving Kholin Radiants) travel from End of World to right after Gavilar's death. Crack. Outline

All of the above (plus other fandoms if you keep scrolling back) will be tagged with 'my au' The above, plus my canon stormlight and other cosmere meta, technically canon compliant fanfic drabbles, or other things that i've written but don't fit in an au will be tagged 'nevertheless cosmere'

[cosmerelists]

Top 10 Reasons that Kaladin is a Cat

I already argued that all Stormlight characters are cats. But while writing that list, I kept coming up with reasons why Kaladin specifically is a cat. One might argue that he is most feline of all Stormlight characters.

Which is exactly what I am about to do. So here’s why Kaladin is DEFINITELY a cat.

1. He likes to be high.

As I pointed out in my original list, Kaladin LOVES heights--just like cats do. He’s happiest when he can be taller than everyone else, high up in the sky.

2. He’s good at climbing.

Cats are very good climbers, and so is Kaladin! There are two scenes in which Kaladin must scale an impossibly vertical wall, which he does using Stormlight. Cats use their claws, but it’s basically the same.

3. He hates to be wet.

Kaladin is NOT fan of the rain. He may be pro-storm, but he hates the Weeping, during which a continuous drizzle makes everything wet and gray and sad. Cats also do not like being wet. As you know if you’ve ever had to wash one.

4. He hates to be locked up.

Cats do not like closed doors. If you dare to cut off their divine right of passing through any doorway, they will scream their displeasure. Kaladin is also not a fan of closed doors--like when he was locked up in prison for a while and found himself very unhappy in captivity. 

5. He once tore a piece of paper to shreds just to be an asshole.

Have you ever had a cat look at you directly in the eye as it knocks something beloved off of a shelf or scratches your couch or violently attacks the Steris pin you just got from your Cosmere box (that last one might just be me)? Well, this reminds me of when Kaladin was in the slave wagon, and the slave trader guy asked him to help with directions and handed him a map, and Kaladin just tore it to shreds. Very justifiable and cat-like behavior, if you ask me.

6. He is not impressed by you.

Cats are not impressed by kings, as the saying goes. And neither is Kaladin. In Book 2 when he found himself working for the Kholins, he spent his time being DEEPLY unimpressed, especially by Adolin. It was like Adolin had a cat-bodyguard.

7. He has self-healing abilities.

Cats use their purring to self-heal: apparently it helps them. Kaladin uses Stormlight, which is less cute. If only he purred instead.

8. He pretends not to be hurt.

It is very difficult to tell if a cat is injured--they’re good at pretending that they’re not. And even before he could just wave a hand to heal himself, Kaladin also had trouble admitting when he was too hurt to move around. I’m thinking especially about the end of Book 2 when he hobbles around while everyone else is marching to the center of the Shattered Plains, all the while thinking to himself that he probably shouldn’t be moving around. But he does anyway.

9. He is very graceful and tends to land on his feet

In fact, Kaladin likes to land in a straight-up hero pose.

10. He likes to pretend he’s solitary, but he needs friends.

Cats are supposedly solitary creatures, but if you’ve ever had a cat, you know they tend to want to be around you. Maybe they’re just chilling in the windowsill across the room, but they’re still hanging out. Cats in the wild sleep in a big pile. They’re actually more social than their reputation claims. And in a similar way, Kaladin tries to give off big solitary energy, but really, he does better when he’s around his friends, even if he’s just sulking at the table while Adolin and Shallan talk.