#Actually thinking that I know something AND it turns out IM RIGHT?!?
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softness-and-shattering · 22 hours ago
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Most of my autistic friends expect that their friendships will one day out of the blue blow up in their face as people vent built-up frustrations about behaviours that annoyed others that was never ever communicated to them, and/or because of whats called "the double empathy problem" which describes one of the main ways allistic-autistic communication goes sideways. Ive been in social groups - discord type groups - where the autistics get kicked out because we are speaking plainly and askingd questions, and the mods or admin or other authority figures interpret these questions as deliberate insubordination and challenges to their authority, get "tired and fed up" with "the disrespect" and start kicking people. I have seen this happen in disability groups.
And its not all black and white. Like sometimes I can pick up on social cues because I have deliberately learned them, or learned them the hard way. I can even sometimes say one thing and mean another, but I dont often. I might pick up on one cue and totally miss another. Sometimes I just dont know why someone is saying something, theyre obviously implying something but I dont know what. This can get tricky when someone wants to indicate something without being able to be quoted about it, and sometimes I need to ask them to clarify and if theyre still dodgy I have to guess and hope I got it right.
And sometimes we're aware of unspoken rules but we dont recognise their authority over us because theyre bad or nonsensical. We tend to stick to rules if we understand them and they make sense. When theyre crap rules, I dont care how much money someone makes I will treat them the same as everyone else. I dont care how many high status cars someone has, we are equals.
Im getting off track - my point is that basically every autistic I know has ongoing trauma of friendships and social groups suddenly turning on them for no discernable reason and no warning and absolutely no previous indication that anything was wrong - sometimes after being explicitly told everything was ok the day before. This happens to us all the time. Its so damaging and so hurtful.
Personally I dont second guess as a general rule. I someone has a problem with me I trust they will tell me about it and we can problem solve and introspect. If Im not told, no matter what vibes Im picking up bc I dont know if the vibes are real or my own anxieties, I will act like nothing is wrong. If someone wants to blow up at me that has reflects zero on me and entirely on their inability to speak up about whatever was bothering them. Thats not a me problem. I cannot do anything with zero information.
Lemme induct you in an autistic way of bring and introduce you to a script you can use. Something like "hi friend, can I talk to you for a second about the meeting yesterday? [If Y continue, if N ask when you can talk to them about it.*] So I dont know if you noticed, but you spent the whole time tapping your fingernails on the table, and honestly the noise was distracting and mightve been irritating for some people. I just thought you should know bevause I dont think anyone else was going to bring it up with you. Could you please find a quieter way to stim/do what you need to/move in the ways you need to to concentrate. Ok thank you, no ones super upset just mildly irritated I think. I just figured someone should actually tell you"
Or even "hi. You spent the whole meeting earlier tapping on the table and it was pretty loud. Could you please find a way to be quieter in meetings, its just a bit distracting for some people? Awesome thank you".
Just be polite and straightforward, say what you want and what the problem is. Assume competence, sometimes we make deliberate choices against the status quo for important reasons not cluelessness. And give time for them to figure out an alternative, be undsrstanding if they cant. Just use your words, communicate clearly. It might feel a little confrontational but believe me its not as bad as bring dropped as a friend or fired out of nowhere. That sucks**
*Dont just say "can we talk", give a reason, otherwise they will likely spend the time between notification and meeting inventing every worse case scenario they can possibly think of. A couple words of context goes a long way.
** I came across a youtuber who, idk for sure if theyre autistic but they talk with an extremely flat effect (meaning, little tonal variance between words, not much expression in the voice, every word comes out more or less the same, "robotic"), which is an autistic trait. They mentioned in a video that they had a 'normal' job before youtube, until one day they found themself fired, given reason was their flat effect scared people and made them seem unfriendly and unhappy to be there and interacting. Sounded like it was completely out of the blue. Thats a job lost due to ableism though possibly no one involved sees it that way. Some people cant change how they speak or dont want to. Shouldnt have to. But at least mention it, see if the person is willing to adjust, and consider if it truly disqualifies them from being able to perform the job or is it just a little unusual.
I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that
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alanisstonedd · 1 day ago
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shooters shoot
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marine!rafe x black!reader → a date at the range has his 5% tint fogged up...
cw: nsfw 16+, established relationship, operation of a firearm, semi public sexual activities, consensual groping, p in v, ass play, cum play, cussing, car sexxxx
wc: 4,700 + proofread!! (yall this actually the longest shit i've ever written omg)
an: been marinating in this idea for whileee, here it is baddies!! yall can find an intro post to marine!rafe through my masterlist!! & plz all yall send me ur dirty thoughts about him asap. kisses!! xoxo
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The brush of featherlight kisses on your shoulder wakes you up most mornings - this sunny wednesday morning no different. your boyfriend's arm, littered with intricate tattoos, peeking out from under the covers. his appearance, a stark contrast to the sweetness he showers you in. but nonetheless, having him snuggled up behind you every morning felt like having a personal safety blanket (weighted ofc) there to protect your beauty sleep.
"mornin bae.." he mumbled sleepily from the curve of your neck.
"goodmorning baby... are you thinking about breakfast yet?" you quip, eyes still closed, the morning sun melting you into drowsy bliss.
his tatted hand found your hip, caressing and gripping the plush skin there. "my breakfast is right here.." he whispers, smirk practically bursting out "hot and ready." the light nips of his teeth on your neck, while convincing, couldn't distract you from the nagging thought that one of you had somewhere to be this morning.
"boy, quit playinn" you giggle as his kisses become wet and hot, his ever wandering hand caressing your stomach. "don't you have somewhere to be rafe? i'm so serious" you smirk, turning around to face him, his morning fun making it increasingly harder for you to be the rational one here.
"when has that ever stopped me?" punctuated with a light kiss, right as your world turns with unnerving speed. you find yourself posted atop his tank of a body, both tatted hands now snaking their way under your tee. chilled fingertips brush your soft breasts as your head lulls back, your own fingertips resting on his warm chest.
"just a taste bae?" he pleads, with the most devilish grin you've seen from him since yesterday, large hands now urging you down toward his chest. "absolutely not." you chuckle against his peck with warm cheeks, knowing he's kinda fronting. he's never been a late man at all, always precisely on time or early. you knew he wouldn't jeopardize a obligation, even with his truly efficient abilities.
"fine, you're not off the hook though lil girl." one hand caressing the expanse of your back, the other taking gentle fistfuls of your ass. "that's fine, hold me to it - you still have to go though big daddy." you emphasize the nickname, his rumbling laughter shaking the both of you.
you lift your head up to him, his baby blues shining in the morning rays. he gazes at you with a boyish smile, his love shining through every part of his body. never afraid to revel in his true feelings for you. he actually prefers to openly adore you - it gives him this warm feeling in his body, almost like seeing you love him is lighting him on fire or something.
"im surprising you today, okay?" he blurts out, tracing your facial features like the work of art you are. "oh?" puzzled look on your face as you kiss whatever you can catch of his hand. "yup" he quips, popping the p. your world flipped once again as he plops you next to him, unfortunately leaving you lonely to shower.
"when thoughhhhh?" you whine from the bed, not ready to leave the only warm embrace you have left at the moment. "when i come back from base. and be ready for real, because i'm taking you straight there." he yells back, stripping and starting the water.
"tch," you suck your teeth, rolling your eyes "i can be on time too, sexy muh-fucker." turning your head towards the large windows of your condo, your eyes threatening to close again.
you peek one eye open before falling fully asleep, and snatch your phone off the nightstand. setting an alarm for an hour and a half from now, knowing he'll be done in about two-ish hours, you toss it somewhere into the sea of the california king and knock out.
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you jolt directly up from the bed, as your alarm blares throughout the room, startling you awake. rubbing your eyes while fishing for your phone somewhere in the sheets, but somehow feeling 10x more rested than your first wake up - which truly felt like forever ago.
one glance at your phone, kicks you into lock-in mode. "FUCK", your alarm seems to have been going off for a good twenty minutes, and you have the lesser part of 15 to be "ready for real" before rafe gets back. you cannot - under any circumstance - let him catch you lacking because he'll never let that shit go.
you skip out of bed and directly into the shower, planning a casual but cute outfit as you wash and freshen up. you go minimal with hair and makeup, feeling a little scared because you honestly think the clock is speeding up just to spite you.
in his beautifully on-time fashion, you hear rafe busting through the front door as soon as your pants are up over your butt. "bae?" his strong voice cutting through the get-ready playlist you selfishly took two full minutes to put on. "hey boo, i'm ready" you breathe, rounding the corner to meet him. his smile when he sees you never disappoints, flashing all 32, subtle dimples popping just the way you love, immediately heating you up. you go in for a hug, breathing him in through his slightly damp shirt (even better), he's a sweat-er so you know its warm out.
"you ready pretty?" he kisses your head, grin still plastered on his gorgeous face, hands planted firmly on your booty. a light squeeze to your lower cheeks earns him your "sexy grin", a dramatic eye roll, and a love slap to the chest. you lead him out the front door and to the passenger side of his big ol truck, which he opens for you and lifts you into by the waist.
the car ride to his "surprise" is filled with mindless chatter, spotify, and planning your next meal which is always a serious topic of conversation for you two. but you quickly notice he's not taking a route you recognize, "okay... do i already know what this is or is it a real surprise?" you ask, eyebrow cocked. he lets a loud chuckle escape, hand gripping your thigh across the console, thumb rubbing ever so slightly.
"yes, its a real surprise bae. you've never been here before" your uncocked eyebrow raises to meet the other, "shiiiiittt," you think for a second, then quietly question "am i gonna have to think, learn or sweat for this? or all of the above??" you sigh, realizing he might have you're ass doing some outdoor shit, which would probably present some complications with the outfit.
he laughs so hard he has to grip your thigh for purchase, "bae. what if i told you yes?" he snickers some more. "id tell you to turn this muh-fuckin car around. TUH" you fold your arms pointedly, just to show him you're deadass. at this point rafe's face is flushed from how much hes laughing, "nah bae, you just get to be your crash-out self. and be all up on me..." he manages to squeeze out in between laughs. and now you're confused, because, although you love those two things individually, you have no idea how they could possibly be combined. "now how the hell you finna combine those..." you mutter, sparing him a glance. "you gotta wait and see bae." with a full belly chuckle once again, his paw of a hand moves to cup your pussy through your pants and rub lightly like its affectionate or something. you look at him, unamused, but he simply flashes you a killer smirk with a squeeze to the coochie.
so you wait patiently, intrigued and a little nervous at what he has planned. when you arrive at what seems to be some sort of warehouse, he finally removes his hand from your pussy with a mean smack, "aye boy!" you whip your head over to him with a sharp look, now on edge from all the groping he's been doing for the remainder of the ride. but he's already out the damn truck, stalking around the front to open your door and help you out, by the waist, straight to the ground. you wouldn't sweat one droplet if it was up to him - except when y'all fuckin of course.
upon entering the mysterious warehouse, you immediately clock this is a gun range date. considering rafe has been yapping nonstop about teaching you how to protect yourself, how to use a gun just in case, and his plans to take you to the range routinely, you're actually not surprised at all.
hes grinning at you as you wait in the front desk line, his arm around your waist, rubbing absentmindedly. "so?? how surprised are you bae?" earning him yet another suck of the teeth, "how surprised you think i am? this is all you talk about rafe" you play with his fingers on your hip, as you both move up in line. "i knowwww bae, are you excited tho?", he grins more, gently pulling your head back and kissing your lips, "actually? i think i am a little excited lowkey... i don't really know what to expect, but... you got me right?". you breathe out, moving up to the desk, and you swear you can see him vibrating with happiness in your peripheral. "duh, of course i got you bae" he says from behind you, landing a fervent smack to your booty as he moves up after you.
the man at the desk literally daps up rafe and they starting chatting, his arm anchored to your waist without so much as a flinch. the man immediately starts grabbing various items, seemingly without a thought, and you start to realize... you're kinda like a celebrity by association in the military world? you chuckle at the fact that hundreds of thousands of men and boys around the world literally admire, look up to, and actually talk about your boyfriend - like out loud and in the media too. not that you don't do all of those things practically everyday - but to you, he's really just... your baby, rafe.
"listen son, they not payin' yo ass enough out there. you doin' big things, and not just what you doin' for this country. I mean, you really a weapon, boy." rafe quirks half his smile up, giving the man a nod.
"thank you sir, i just do my best. but i appreciate that, i really do. its my honor." rafe picks up the basket of goods, with another nod to the man. "anytime son. you a hero, nothin' less. and this must be the missus - what she doin' with no ring son?? aye you better act right, you a lucky man." the man chuckles, clasping both hands over your one hand and gently shaking. "its a pleasure ma'am." you laugh politely at his jokes, leaning into rafe on instinct, "its very nice to meet you sir". he pushes himself away from the counter with a nod and a wave, shouting "y'all be safe in there." you and rafe wave back awkwardly, him pulling you along by the waist.
"alright, am i trippin', or was he too fuckin' chatty" rafe laughs, once yall are through the door to the shooting lanes. "yeah, that was a lot..." you giggle, following rafe to what you assume is yall's lane, hands interlocked. you're hit with pungent smell of hot rubber, metal, and smoke but you kinda get used to it by the time y'all settle in.
rafe is professionally trained in this stuff, so you just listen extra careful - proving harder than you thought with the thundering pop of gunshots going off every so often. yall make silly small talk while he sets you both up with protective glasses and ear protection, complete with a built in mic for conversation. attaching the target to the rail and sending it out, he moves you into the lane with his body directly behind you. you can already feel the heat from his furnace of a body and you can tell this is gonna be a problem.
"okay," he says, leaning into your ear, hands on the front of your hips, pressing you back even further into his front. "whats the first thing you do?" your head is juuuuuuuuust clear enough to be reminded every so often that you're handling a dangerous weapon, but hes towing the damn line. "rafe, if you gon' be pressure the whole time just tell me what to do. i know you know i can't think right now..." you sigh, hearing him snicker through the headset, "okayyy, damn."
he picks up the gun and places all of your fingers precisely where they need to be, slowly explaining why they're placed there and the use of every part. but your ass is not really listening at all, because his cologne literally has you in a fucking fog. that or the way he readjusts every so often and presses his hips flush up against yours whenever he changes topics. or the way his large, thick, art covered hands caress your fingers and guide guide them where he wants them, exactly when he wants. or the way you can feel his hot breath fanning over your neck and sometimes even a brush of his soft, full lips when he leans in to show you something specific.
by the time he raises your hands up to point at the target, you bout ready to leave. his deep voice is saying something about "easing on the trigger" so you very slowly start pulling, and before you know it, a loud bang sounds out, and theres a hole a few inches below the center of the target. that startles you from your fog a little bit, because you're still gagged that you just shot a gun, and hit the target at all. but he moved the gun to the table again, so hes back to feeling on your hips, one hand traveling down to cup you and the other snaking up to your nipple poking through your shirt. "im so proud of you bae." he breathes, smirk deeeeep in his voice, with a kiss to the back of your neck.
you can very clearly feel how rock-fucking-hard he is and you think... its a little insane that he's so turned on by this. you realize the wetness in your panties is starting becoming an issue so you slap his hands away before he can make his way underneath any clothes, "rafe," you grit through your teeth, "quit. right now. we are soo close to other people. i'm taking two more shots and then we're out, okay". his hands have stopped wandering, his arms now wrapped around your waist. you can feel his smirk against the back of your neck, and he kisses there lightly, picking up the gun, "yes ma'am".
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you bit your tongue through those last couple shots, thighs rubbing together, eventually becoming a little restless in the absence of his groping.
you literally wanted to pull his dick out - you couldn't take it. immediately after your last shot, you snatched his keys and ran out of the place, head down, too ashamed too ashamed to look anyone in the face let alone the chatty man.
you could finally breathe in the quiet safety of his truck, the 5% tint on all windows giving you the privacy you needed. you're still hot as fuck though. the thought of shedding some layers crosses your mind, but you brush it off, thinking rafe would probably open the door any second. but as more and more time passes, baking in the heat combined with flashbacks from the range, you start to get uncomfortably hot. you could rip his clothes off in this state, and a part of you wishes you could get back at him somehow.... but before you can make up your mind the sound of the drivers side door opening startles you, your head whipping towards him.
he looks like a fucking wet dream, sweating from the heat, blue eyes sparkling, sun shining down on him making his tan, tatted skin glisten... muscles bulging, and bulge straining... just how you like it. his shirt hiked up revealing a happy trail peekaboo is just the cherry on top. you can't stand it. "rafe. did they hold you hostage? the fuck took you so long?" you blurt, sounding a little frazzled. he climbs into the truck, starting it "yes, actually. chatty unc did hold me hostage. chill bae, the fuck happened in here..." he chuckles, side eying you and wrapping his whole hand around your thigh.
you freeze - his hand on your leg feels like a hot iron, even though the air conditioning has been blasting for at least a two minutes. you're jolted back to his antics in there, feeling the imprint of his throbbing dick against your ass, his hands everywhere you needed them all at once, his lips on your neck leaving a sickly trail of heat in their wake.
"oh HELL nah-" your hands fly to your shirt, as you struggle to strip your clothes against the wet friction of your skin, "its too fuckin hot bruh- i don't know what the fuck-" you almost rip your pants in two trying to get them down your legs "yo ass think-" more struggling, you're audibly out of breath at this point "this. shit. is." you lull your head back against the seat once you're only clad in your skims lace bralette and panty.
"you okay baby?" you catch his eyes locked on you, signature smirk struggling to be hidden. "what you think rafe?" you say, slowly turning to him. now that you're comfortable, your head seems perfectly cleared... of everything but fucking him stupid.
"i think.. we need to get you home crazy" he lets out a cackle, gripping the gearshift, ready to get on the road. "oh! you thought that was cute or something?" you laugh, hand gripped around his, stopping his movement. "that little stunt you pulled back there?" he's unusually quiet, but still smirking, so you can tell he knows what you want - in all honesty he can smell it. you just fell right into his trap. all day, he's been replaying the promise you made him this morning before he left.
"fine, you're not off the hook tho lil girl." one hand caressing the expanse of your back, the other taking gentle fistfuls of your ass. "thats fine, hold me to it - you still need to go tho big daddy."
he was going to make sure you kept that promise whether you knew it or not. he definitely enjoyed watching you squirm in front of him the whole time, his dick certainly leaking all over his boxers by now. he would've pulled his dick out right there in the lane if you'd wanted him to, but it looks like you enjoy him teasing you to the point of no return.
"you gon give me sum' for all that torture rafe." you whisper, eyes locked on his lips, hand on his moving to his straining cock. you grip it, eyes flashing up to his, which are already locked on yours. he slowly puts the truck back in park, "get in the back." its quick but you can hear the same strain in his voice.
"no. you-"
"get. in the back." his eyes close, hand still locked on the gearshift, so you decide you should get to climbing. by the time you're settled in the seat behind yours he's opening the backseat door and dragging you by your ankles to lay flat. he climbs in over you, slamming the door behind him. immediately he's on you, your lips dancing together, the fervency bringing back that excruciating heat you felt earlier. the backseat of his truck is actually pretty big, but due to his large stature, its tight quarters right now. you can feel every hard ridge of him pressed against you, his lips searing a wet trail right up your neck to the underside of your jaw. and the smell of his truck's leather mixed with his cologne drags you into the fog all over again.
the contrast of you being basically naked and him being completely clothed doesn't feel right at all. so as he pulls his shirt off, your hands find the corded muscles of his back, traveling down to slip under the lip of his pants. "ohh-, you- got some fuckin nerve rafe- " you manage breathlessly between kisses, as he rubs on your pussy through the thin material. he moves swiftly towards your tits sitting plump and pretty in the equally thin material. his eyes are locked on yours as he sucks on a nipple through the bralette, "nah" he moves to the other nipple, sucking harder, his lashes falling against his face blissfully. "i just know you bae" he punctuates with a firm nip on your bud and you feel a gush of slick wet your panties.
with locked eyes, he smirks, moving your panties to the side and slipping a finger in, thumbing your clit with a skillfull touch. your lips mingle with each others, rafe's groans echoing throughout the tight space as you work his zipper down and pull him out. slow strokes have his eyes closed and his teeth pulling down your bra for a better taste of your breasts.
he glances down to see your cunt creaming on his fingers, the soft moans spilling from your lips sound like he's being ushered into heaven, "shit... she been calling to me alllll," with a few flicks of his thumb against your clit, you're shouting, "fuckin' day". smiling like he's never been happier, he floats back to your mouth, tongue snaking in with yours, teeth nipping your lips. "fuck me rafe" you breathe, still stroking him, his dick now lathered in his own precum, tip gliding slowly against your slit. he pushes the tip in carefully, and you can't help but throw your head back, finally feeling the slightest bit of relief. "say please, baby.", he snickers, laving a scorching stripe up your neck, practically making out with it. "RAFE SHUT YO A-" before you can pop him for playing with you he pushes in to the hilt, "ohhh shh- it" you grit out, your body seizing for a second.
he starts with short, strong, pumps. grinding against you with the full strength of his hips. you can see the reflection of his back muscles rippling and his juicy butt clenching in the window. you pull him into you to lick the sweat off his neck, triggering a deep groan you feel on your tongue, "fuuuck, i love you baby." he's pulling back more to push into you a little rougher, the force of his thrust creating an uncomfortable friction between the seat and your skin. but his soft lips suckling your breast and his thumb now glued to your clit, erase any and all uncomfort whatsoever. you moan out, like sex in his ears "UUHH- ohhhhh, i love you bae- uhhh right thereee-" thats all you can manage, with your hand on his head, keeping his mouth pressed to your tits.
he glances up at you... a lush vision, like something out of his very own dreams - literally. he sits up, ready to give you everything you didn't even know you needed. he has one hand caging your waist in, and another on your hip as he lets out a breathy groan, watching with intent as your pretty pussy creams a pearlescent ring around the base of him, mixing with his pubes. he can feel your juices dripping down his balls as he moves the hand by your waist, up to the door behind you head.
the truck has to be rocking, with how serious rafe is at the moment. your eyes just about roll back as he starts jackhammering into you, his thick mushroom tip hitting your spot perfectly. his hips working, thrusting forcefully and grinding against you, all in one fluid movement. the feel of his coarse pubes on your clit, his chain swinging to and fro over your face, his deep grunts ringing in your ears - just when you though that was to much, his thrusts get even rougher, plunging into you so harsh, the with of him stretching you so dreamily. "oh shit- yeahh.." he breathes out, leaning down to lick the sparkling perspiration off your skin, his tongue traveling from sucking hickeys on your neck down to your breast yet again, blue eyes fluttering shut.
"rafe- fuuuckkk- im gonna-" he snaps up, immediately getting a second wind hearing your exclamation, thumb working quick circles on your clit. "yeah?" he exhales, "thats fuck?" he says taunting you while angling his hips to hit it right where you need it. he stuffs his hoodie under your butt to get a better position, and the pressure from this angle takes over your body, his hands caressing you, working your clit, it all sends you over the edge. through the buzzing of your senses you hear the splat splat of your pussy - "FUCK- bae i'm cuming-" and his warm seed flooding you. he slows but doesn't falter, his hips still hitting you like a tank. the only sounds in the truck being the squelch of your combined cum and the sultry flow of your combined moans.
"rafe-" he sits down on the seat and swoops you up off of it, moving you to rest your back against the center console in front of him, your dripping cunt resting in his lap. he lightly kisses your inner thigh, sending you a sexy wink, that forces a light chuckle out of you, and he dives in without another word. his tongue slurping you up like the best treat he's ever had, calculated circles going on your now overstimulated clit. your hand travels to his buzzed head as he sucks each lip into his mouth, slowly moving to suckle around you're clit. his face is shining with the both of your cum smeared all over it, and you don't think he ever get finer.
you can't hold your tongue any longer when his own travels down to your hole, licking you inside and out. fucking you with the scorching muscle, slurping up the mix of you both thats dripping out of you like honey. "mmmmm- shi-" he groans, the taste of his cum mixing with yours makes him lightheaded. you feel him start to suck on your throbbing clit once again, showering her in passionate kisses and the most earth-shattering ministrations, fingers still pumping in and out of you below. you stretch your arms back over your head, as he somehow sticks another finger in your ass. you start to ride his face, your hips fully in his hands, as he manages to pump that finger - you're so close you can taste it.
your vision spots as he suckles extra hard on your aching bud, his wanton groaning vibrating through your pussy. your body locks up and rafe's mouth stays glued to your pussy, releasing it with a pop!, then going back in and making sure he doesn't miss a drop of your sweet juice. the whole truck smells like sex and sweat as you catch your breath, reveling in the tenderness of his touch, him lips peppering sweet kisses over your thighs and stomach, while cleaning you both up with a towel he keeps in the back.
he dresses you, then dresses himself, while you both share sweet pecks every now and again, basking in the after glow. "i guess you were gonna have to sweat no matter where i took you, huh." he smirks, letting his hands wander over your hips and ass, as you chill in his lap.
"boy shut up, this was your little plan all along, i know you too...." you laugh, eyes rolling sassily. "damn right it was" he shoots you a devilish look before locking your lips, tongues entangled so deeply you almost take each others clothes off again. he hops out the truck with a pop to your booty, as you climb back up to the passenger seat feeling delightfully sated.
"bae, can we get chipotle before we go home?" he calls from outside the truck before climbing in, your stomach rumbling before he even said it. you turn to him with a blissful look, placing your hand on his cheek, "damn, you know my heart... drive". he kisses your hand as he pulls out of the parking lot. "i wonder if that chatty guy saw me run out the door like a lunatic..." you think out loud, car playlist bumping in the background. you play with his fingers that were just inside you churning up your cum and his, and smile deviously. rafe chuckles "HA! i wonder if he knew what we were doin' parked outside for so long..."
"grandbabies fa' sho' on the way..." the chatty man says, watching rafe's black truck finally drive away.
©  alanisstonedd 2025 — do not steal, plagiarise, or modify my content.
hope y'all liked this! likes and reblogs and all the rest much appreciated!!!
xoxo, lana 💋💋💋
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mattscoquette · 13 hours ago
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reader going through perv!matt’s journal
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“i’ll be back in a sec, i just need to run downstairs and help chris with something really quick.”
that’s what matt told you over ten minutes ago, and he’s still gone. you were over at the triplets place hanging out with nick, when matt insisted he show you both his new pc set up. it only took nick five minutes to be over it, but you felt bad when you saw matt’s defeatist expression after nick went back to his room. you decided to stay, but soon after matt abandoned you to go do something with chris.
you could’ve gone back upstairs with nick, but you let your curiosity get the best of you, and somehow you were going through matt’s bedside drawers, seeing what he had in there.
you knew matt had a thing for you, he made it very, very clear. although those feelings weren’t really reciprocated, it was fun to tease him. like, really fun.
before you could stop yourself, the leather binding of matt’s journal was in your hands, itching to be opened and read. you thumbed through the pages, reading matt’s chicken scratch handwriting while he wrote about whatever. you didn’t want to be too invasive, but his journal piqued your interest a lot. you wondered if he ever wrote about you, or if he only kept those thoughts in his head.
your eyes skimmed up and down the pages, nothing really standing out to you until you saw your name.
today y/n came over to see nick. she had on this rly short skirt, i think they were going out to a bar or something later. i don’t really care. i overhear her talking to nick about the guys she gets with. i could be so much better than them. i would make her feel so good, where she’d be begging me for more. god her moans are probably so fucking pretty.
your cheeks got hot as they blushed a deep red, fingers flipping to the next entry.
it’s been a few days since i saw y/n, i miss her so much. i’ve probably touched myself to her more times than i can count in the last day or two. i don’t know what it is with her, but she just gets me so worked up. she doesn’t even have to do anything and i’ll literally get hard from her. a couple weeks ago we were at her place and i heard her in the shower. it turned me on so much i couldn’t handle it. i want her so bad.
there’s gotta be something seriously deranged about me. every time that y/n sleeps over here, i always sneak up to nicks room and take a pair of her panties. she has to have noticed by now. i can’t help it though. i use them to get myself off. sometimes she has really pretty lace ones, other ones are really really skimpy. i don’t care though. i wonder what they’d look like on her. she’d probably think im a fucking creep if she ever really found out. i wonder what she’d do.
at this point, your stomach was doing somersaults, and your thighs were pressed together, trying to relieve the ache that had grown in your cunt. maybe it was weird what he was doing, but the level of obsession was turning you on. bad.
you were quick to find a pen somewhere in the bedside drawer, popping the cap off and scribbling underneath the entry in your loopy handwriting.
you naughty boy. you didn’t learn that stealing was wrong? i would probably punish you and not let you cum. i would tease you, get you all wound up and make you hold it. id use my pretty pink panties around your cock to get you off and let you cum in them after edging you for so long. maybe i’ll use my hands too, or my mouth if you’re really good for me.
you grinned to yourself as you shut the journal, drawing your bottom lip in between your teeth before returning the notebook to its rightful place, exactly how you found it.
you knew that matt wouldn’t do anything about it, either. he would see the note, and probably get off to it a million times, but never actually reach out to you. until then, he’d just have to learn how to keep pleasuring himself alone.
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© mattscoquette | taglist
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𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. ⋆˚꩜。 inspired by this fic from my girl @st7rnioioss ♡︎♡︎ perv!matt is soooo back i miss that freak
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dearestzaychik · 2 days ago
Text
Our Forsakened Destiny.
This Fanfic is for those starving Forsaken Fans out there by the way!!
(( same here ngl... ))
[ Forsaken x Isekai'd Reader ]
[ Gender Neutral Reader ]
TW : Cursing, Touching Jokes ( only mentioned once ), DoubleFedora Mentioned but It's not something that will happen during the actual story.
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[ PROLOGUE ]
READER’S POV.
Clouds up in the skies, in a bustling city during the afternoon as they woke up to the sound of ringing.
“..What time is it already?”
Stated the individual, picking their phone up from the stand as they glanced at the upcoming discord notifications and a call from their friends. Their messages flickering in the channel as the Voice channel looked to be active as well. Looks like Peanut is the most active in the channel as of late.
MENTAL ASYLUM
The NUT :
@Loser101
Join.
Naps :
They might be asleep nut..
The NUT :
at 2 in the afternoon
I don’t think so
Their waking up bc
I said so!
Loser101 :
Boo
Hobo :
Oh my goodness me
Toilet
Menoes :
WAITT THEIR BOTH ALIVE
Hobo :
Im pooping rn
Loser101 :
Hold your horses I jst woke up..
The NUT :
Did you
stay up late..
again
Loser101 :
Yeah…
Menoes :
I think we might have gotten [ Y/N ] addicted to Forsaken..
The NUT :
GOOD
Now join us!!
@Loser101
Naps :
Don’t forget to join VC as well!
Stupid Idiot :
[ Sent an Attachment. ]
Loser101 :
Hold on I still need to get up dawg..
The NUT :
well be quicker
Menoes :
Veen I’m gonna touch you.
Stupid Idiot :
Yeahhh I’m switching out of 07..
Menoes :
WAITT NO I'M SORRY—
Naps :
Oh my days, Just play the game already the match is starting!
[ Message #general ]
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Right, Your dear friends. A few days ago, they seemed to pull you into a game called Forsaken on Roblox. Usually, you don't play games such as Roblox, preferring Identity V over games like that. But they somehow pulled you into a Roblox Game that had somewhat of the same mechanics as Identity V, hence the heavy persuasion from Peanut especially.
“Impatient as always.”
You quoted, knowing how impatient Peanut can be. They already seemed to have started before you, but nevertheless they can wait a little longer. After all, you just woke up and you at least needed to get ready for the day.
THIRD PERSON POV.
Getting up from the bed, slipping into your bunny slippers as you walked to the Kitchen. Turning on the Coffee Machine.. It was just a normal day like always, Thankfully there was a Holiday during Friday meant it was gonna be a Long Weekend. You didn’t need to worry about going to work for now, that’s for sure.
Peanut and the others are still waiting, but they wouldn’t mind waiting for a little while longer. Even though you played the game, you didn't know much compared to how the group knew the Techniques and Story for each character. Maybe the basics of the gameplay you definitely grasped, but the Story behind the characters? Not so much. Maybe the simplified version, but even so it's still limited knowledge about the game itself.
Maybe one day you’ll finally find the time to actually start reading and looking into the story itself.
Ding! Seems like the coffee machine is done making your coffee, you can actually start going through your day.
READER’S POV.
As you were about to take a sip of your freshly brewed coffee, a notification rang in the air once more.. Right, Peanut and the others were still waiting for you. As you opened Discord, you didn’t bother to read the messages in the channel as you immediately joined the VC.
“Oh my god… The whole entire server is targeting us at this point!”
Stated Naps, seemingly frustrated at the current situation she had at hand.
“We’re healers, of course they would target us because we are practically a whole healing buffet for the survivors if we keep surviving!”
Meos replied to Naps, At this point not taking everything seriously as he laughed it off.
“Finally, [ Y/N ] joined the vc... Join us right now in Forsaken or else I’m gonna fucking loose it.. I’m about to be killer right now and may Zeus strike me down if I’m lying, I’M GONNA MURDER THIS FUCKING GUEST-”
Peanut suddenly shot out, before muting her mic. She doesn’t usually open her mic unless it's to call something out or rant about a player, either way Peanut is just.. being Peanut.
“Alright, alright.. Just give me a moment to open my PC then I’ll join.”
You, along with Meos and Naps continued to chat in the call as you joined the server. Looks like Veen was in here too, but he didn’t have his mic opened. Either way, you managed to join in time as the Round loaded in, With Peanut being the Killer as Mafioso.. While you played Chance, unable to switch characters either way since you joined as soon as the round started.
“WAIT OH MY GOD THERE’S A 007N7 IN THE ROUND–”
“Meos, No.”
Surprisingly after that whole thing as well as Peanut killing off the Toxic Guest she wanted to kill, The round was a friendly round as Peanut didn’t seem to want to kill anybody else.. Other than the fact that she was approaching you slowly of course.. She shipped DoubleFedora, but was very open to other ships of course. The pinnacle of being a Multishipper..
“No, no, no. Stop being gay...”
Naps stated, trying to body block Peanut away from you, definitely done from Peanut’s shenanigans.. You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, this was the usual events that happened during your gameplays with your dear friends. Sadly, Caleb and Debt didn’t seem to be able to play today, but there were still plenty of times to play with them either way.
“Sorry guys, I prefer 1x1x1x1 x Sonic the Hedgehog as my OTP..”
Veen suddenly stated, jumpscaring everybody with how randomly timed he opened his mic. Earning a questionable silence in the voice call before the collection of sudden screams replied..
“..WHAT-”
After the round ended, A Message popped up onto your screen. It quoted..
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[ team c00lkidd join today! ]
- [ YES ]
- [ NO ] [ YES. ]
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“..Guys, do you know what this message is?”
Although it seemed to be somewhat in themed of what you’re playing, considering there was a Killer that was themed around c00lkidd, but you couldn’t help but feel wary about the message. After all, none of your friends ever mentioned a message like this.
“What do you mean by a message? Did someone message you?”
Meos asked, seemingly clueless about the message you received. His tone feigned concern, earning you Naps and the other’s attention as well.
“..No, it's a message box that popped up in the game. It says `team c00lkidd join today`.”
Before you could even get a reply from any of your friends, your PC started crashing as multiple errors seemed to come out while everything else was becoming glitchy and distorted. Your friends tried reaching out, feigning even more concern when you didn’t respond.
“..[ Y/N ]? A—-re yo[] there?—”
“Can yo[] 6ear u—”
The voices of your friends glitching out before an uncomfortable silence lingered in the air, their voices long gone as the only thing you seemed to be able to hear was a static noise coming from your PC. Suddenly, there was a force pulling you in specifically from the Monitor itself. No matter how hard you tried to pull yourself away from it, the harder it was to get out of this predicament. Eventually, the force overpowered your feeble strength as a human, getting sucked inside the Monitor as everything around you seemed to crumble apart and glitch out even more.
You were scared, frightened to say the least. After all, You still had so much to live for. Looking at your hands as you fell into a black abyss, you can see yourself glitching out as well. Although it was painless, it sent a wave of sickness through you. As the further you fell, the more it was a struggle to even open your eyes. The last thing you could see before you passed out was a pop up in red stating..
[ Welcome to your new home. ]
:)
Whether that message was meant to comfort you or not, It definitely didn’t help. Whatever was happening to you, it was far from normal against Human standards if it weren’t so obvious enough. Cursing yourself as you couldn’t open your eyes any longer, succumbing to the abyss that pulled you further and further as your little life was about to take a turn. 
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[ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED. ]
Welcome to Hell.
NOTES
I'm starving so I decided to cook food myself.. It might look like a bit of a joke first but we can take some jokes then and there! Especially since this is just the prologue :3
Right now, this is a small introduction to a series so do hope in mind that everything might not stay the same!
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artstennisracket · 21 hours ago
Note
I was listening to "Be Mean" by DNCE and it immediately made me think of Art being submissive and needy having a degradation kink.
Please write Artrick Stanford Era where Patrick comes to visit Art from tour! Patrick is relentlessly teasing Art and it's driving Art crazy but Art is so pathetic and turned on by it that he begs Patrick to be mean to him and fuck his brains out.
this song is actually so good thank you for introducing it to my lifeeeeee. i took a few liberties but I hope you love it anon :)
bonus points if you saw my aave post and can figure out where I wanted to write Art be fucking
cw: nsfw(18+), dom/sub, bdsm overtones, spitting, slapping, all the things
Patrick had visited Art a handful of times during his time at Stanford. Not as much as Art would have liked (considering Patrick split his time between Art and Tashi every visit). The last time Patrick visited he was telling Art his latest sexescapde with Tashi.
“yeah man she wanted me to tie her up and everything. so fucking hot, didn’t know she’d be into bdsm,” Patrick grins, the memory replaying in his head.
Art is always flustered when Patrick talks about sex. Not because Art is a virgin or anything, quite the opposite actually. Maybe it’s because he’s imagining Tashi and Patrick doing those things in his head.
The thought of Patrick tying Tashi up and doing whatever he wanted to her? More realistically, whatever she instructed he could do to her? That was really fucking hot, Art could feel his lower region peak interest. He started thinking about if Patrick could tie him up and actually do whatever he wanted to Art…
Art clears his throat coming back to reality. Patrick is staring at him amused, like he can read Art’s thoughts. “wait what’s bdsm?” Art asks.
“it’s like— you know the rihanna song? S&M? ‘chains and whips excite me’?”
Art nods, he’d heard that song the radio a few times and may have downloaded it on his mp3 player. “yeah i’ve heard it before, so what’s the bd part then?”
“that part means bondage and dominance? bondage and discipline? im not a 100% sure. you seem very curious maybe you should look into it,” Patrick smirks.
Art’s cheeks are red and he opens his mouth to say something but decides not to. Patrick leans in closer so he can whisper in Art’s ear, “I dunno you seem pretty easy to dominate, maybe you’d be into it.”
So Art had been thinking about it ever since. He did look into it and there are parts he’d think he’d be into. Being dominated wasn’t something he got to experience often with girls and Patrick was the only guy he’s ever slept with.
Being tied up to be used at someone’s else’s disposal? Yeah that made his cock very hard. But he’s only slept with Patrick once and they never talked about it again, he wasn’t sure if he should bring it up when Patrick comes to visit him again today.
Later that day once Patrick arrives, they headed to the dining hall to grab some food. They sit at the bar type area with high top chairs. Patrick pulls Art’s chair closer to his right before Art sits down.
“so are you gonna tell me what’s up or are you gonna keep looking at me like that?” Patrick asks turning his head to the side to look directly at Art.
Art furrows his eye brows looking up from his plate of food, “what are you talking about?”
“since I got here you’ve been like on edge, what’s up?” Patrick crosses his arms in front of his chest.
Art rolls his eyes trying his best to not think about Patrick dominating him in the bedroom because it’s all he’s been thinking about all day. But Patrick has always been able to read him, so he has to put on his best acting performance.
He scoffs, “nothing is wrong man, I’m just happy you’re here that’s all.” Art is searching Patrick’s face to see if he believes him.
Patrick studies Art face for a second, his eyes scan across the blond’s face. He notices the super faint pink tint on Art’s cheeks and the way Art is avoiding making eye contact. He also notices the few blond curls poking out of his snapback, which Patrick didn’t realize this before but Art in a snapback is definitely doing it for him.
Suddenly he throws one arm around Art’s neck pulling him to be face to face with Patrick, “you fucking slut, honestly im proud of you. you should be opening up your horizons your in college, id be doing the same thing if I was you.”
Art is so confused right now, mainly by how his cock stirred when Patrick called him a slut. “im not doing anything, what’re you talking about?”
“you slept with someone right? did all your bdsm fantasies? that’s great why didn’t you tell me?” Patrick smiles.
Art is about to deny it but he knows that if he does Patrick might figure out what he’s actually thinking. He nods, “no yeah you’re right. I was nervous to tell you about it.”
Patrick blinks for a second. He realizes that he got it wrong, Art is lying. He’s not sure why though but he’s going to play along until he finds out. He retracts his arm and sits back down in his stool fully. “so what’d you guys do then?”
Fuck Art should’ve been coming up with a story in his head as soon as he said it, now Patrick is going to ask questions he doesn’t know the answer to because they never happened.
“um y-yeah she just like tied me up and—“
Art gets cut off by Patrick saying, “i knew you’d be the one getting tied up, you’re just so submissive man.”
Art scoffs, “okay well why are we even talking about this here in public let’s just go back to my room and watch a movie or something.”
Patrick continues asking question when they get back to Art’s room. “what was her name?” “what did she look like?” “more tits or more ass?” “how’d you meet her?” Art couldn’t fucking keep up, he couldn’t keep his story straight and that when Patrick knew he got him.
“you fucking liar.” Patrick says backing Art against a wall.
“what? im not lying about anything. she was real and she was here and—“
Art is cut off by Patrick again, “bullshit you know what I think?” He asks standing very close to Art their noses almost touching.
“i’m sure you’re gonna tell me,” Art says trying to keep his breathing and his cock under control. He’s not doing a great job at either.
Patrick smirks leaning in to whisper right by Art’s ear, “i think you want me to fuck you…again.” He moves his hand down to groping Art’s erection. His grasp is firm when he says, “and i think this time you don’t want me to hold back.”
Art’s eyes slipped closed and he bit his lip trying to stifle the moan on the top of his tongue. He doesn’t do a good job at that either.
“is that what you want?” Patrick asks as he slips his hand inside Art’s shorts and boxers. He cups Art’s tip where all the pre-cum had built up, using it to make his hand glide easily up and down Art’s shaft. “fuck, you’re so wet for me already. but I wanna hear you say it. is that what you want?”
Art nods, “ah fuck,” but the pleasure of Patrick stroking him is on the forefront of his mind. He lets his forehead rest on Patrick’s shoulder.
“can you use your words for me baby? wanna hear you say it. tell me what you want me to do to you.”
Art’s eyes are rolling is the back of head as he whines against Patrick’s shoulder. He has a feeling that not answering the question may result in consequences or even worse, Patrick might stop touching him. He nods before opening his mouth to say, “i— i want you to fuck me, don’t want you hold back, want you to be mean to me.”
Patrick smirks stilling his movements, “guess you’re not as dumb of a slut as I thought. didn’t think you were gonna answer me. and I don’t think you’re gonna need it but we should have a safe word anyway just in case.”
Art had read about this when he was doing his bdsm research, “um I think, maybe pineapple?”
Patrick lets out a laugh, “okay,” he takes his hand out of Art’s shorts before going to his bag. He had packed a few things he wanted to try with Tashi but he’s never been one to waste an opportunity. “I want you to take off all your clothes, lie down on your bed, and I’m gonna use these,” he pulls out two pairs of black fuzzy handcuffs.
Art strips so fast he might’ve gotten whiplash. It was crazy that his dreams were coming true. He’s wanted this for some time now and he was itching with anticipation.
Art lays down on his bed. He’s laying on some pillows so his back is slightly elevated. He’s so hard all he wants to do is touch himself—
“no touching,” Patrick tsks washing over to the bed. He takes each of Art’s wrists, handcuffing one to each side of the headboard.
Art was a vision. He was already so hard, his tip was leaking precum against his tummy. His face was flushed and his eyes were a little glossed over, “wow you look, really fucking pretty like this. all laid out for me. desperate, just waiting for me to use you however I please.” Patrick said as he traced slowly down Art’s torso with his finger.
He moved his gaze back up to Art’s nipples. He pinched one and took the other into his mouth.
“ah—“ Art gasps. No one’s ever touched him there, he didn’t think it’d feel that good.
Patrick does a small little lick to each nipple before kissing his way down Art’s torso. He purposefully skips over Art’s cock.
Patrick takes a step back to pull his shirt and his jeans off, “hm should I suck you off baby?” He questions as he steps out of his boxers and stroked himself a few times.
Art nods. Patrick tsks as he pinches Art’s nipple, “what did I say about using your words?”
“oh fuck oh fuck okay okay i- i- want you to suck me off, please please” Art whines, his body keening towards where Patrick is pinching him.
Patrick lets go, satisfied with Art’s answer, “good boy, but if you don’t answer me when I speak to you again, i won’t be so nice.”
He lays down on his stomach in between Art’s legs. He acts as if he’s going to lick up the side of Art’s shaft but inside bring his tongue to lick a fat stripe up Art’s tightness.
This takes Art by surprise and he moans out, “jesus fuck, Patrick.”
He teases the outside with his tongue before pushing inside. Art is taken aback by how good it feel, attempting to fuck himself back against Patrick’s tongue.
Patrick allows it. He needs Art to loosen up a bit before he can add any fingers. Patrick sits up holding two fingers in front of Art’s mouth, “suck, and this is all the lube you’re getting so make it good.”
Art opens his mouth sucking on Patrick’s fingers like there’s no tomorrow. Licking and sucking, sucking and licking, until he feels like he’s covered Patrick’s fingers in a good amount of spit.
Patrick pulls his fingers out and presses one finger inside Art’s hole. He grabs Art’s curls to pull him in for a kiss, it’s a mess of teeth and tongue. Patrick has now worked Art up to three fingers before he pulls his fingers out.
He wipes his hand on the bed, “now I’m gonna fuck your mouth for a little bit okay? remember there’s no lube so you better make my cock nice and wet so i can fuck you properly okay?”
Art nods biting his lip. He’s never had his mouth fucked, sure he’s sucked Patrick’s dick before but this would be different. He just doesn’t want to die of suffocation, Patrick’s dick is pretty big.
But he nods nonetheless, “oh— okay yeah i will, make it wet.”
“and hey you can just pinch me if you need me to stop at anytime.”
Art nods.
Patrick stands on the bed, Art’s chest is between his legs. He kneels down, moving one leg to be next to Art’s head. He grabs Art’s hair once again as he starts feeding his dick inside Art’s mouth slowly. Inch by inch. Once he hits the back of Art’s throat he lets out a low groan, “fuck baby, you were made to take my cock fuck.
He steadied himself before he starts fucking into Art’s throat, “taking me so fucking well, you’d let me use any of your holes to get off huh? fucking cockslut.”
The gurgling and choking sounds coming from Art are really turning Patrick on. He can hear all the spit building up in Art’s mouth so he pulls out. His dick is nice and wet, “did such a good job baby,” Patrick smiles, “now I can fuck you nice and good.”
Patrick stands up on the bed to move back to his original spot between Art’s legs. This time he lines himself up with Art’s hole before he pushes in.
Now it’s Art’s turn to let out a low groan as Patrick bottoms out, “ah oh fuck—“
“you are so fucking tight jesus, gripping the fuck out of my cock,” Patrick grunts as he grabs Art’s hips and starts picking up the pace.
“this is what you wanted right baby? wanted me to fuck you? and what else?”
Art whines, “yes Patrick fuck, wanted you to fuck me.”
Patrick grabs Art’s face forcing them to make eye contact, “and what the fuck else did you ask me to do you huh? or are you just such a dumb fucking cockslut you can’t remember. as soon as you get some dick in you you can’t think straight anymore?”
Art is so fucking hard, he wants to cum so fucking bad. And Patrick is saying all the right things it’s hard to focus. Fuck. What did he say? Why can’t he remember? Oh. He remembers, “be mean to me,” he chokes out between Patrick’s bruising thrusts.
“there you go, maybe not a dumb slut, but you’re definitely still a slut for my cock,” He smirks, “open your fucking mouth.” Art opens his mouth with no questions asked and Patrick spits in it.
Now alot of people would find that disgusting and Patrick was going out on a limb he had no idea if Art would like it. But judging by Art reacted, Patrick thinks his guess was right.
Art feels very disrespected and degraded and he’s never been more turned on his life. Maybe that’s why the next words that come out of his mouth are, “hit me, fuck, slap me, need it.”
Patrick slows down his thrusts for a second, unsure if he should, but he doesn’t want to ask and ruin what they have going on right now so he does it.
It’s light and short and not hard enough. “harder Patrick please,” Art begs, tears threatening to escape from his eyes.
Patrick didn’t have to be told twice, so he slaps Art again. Keeping his hand firm and following through on his swing. Fuck. Art’s going to cum. He hasn’t even touched himself but between Patrick fucking him, slapping him, and overall degrading him he can’t help it.
“‘m gonna cum, Patrick please, gonna cum, can I cum please?” He finishes all over his tummy.
Patrick already knew Art was close so he wasn’t holding back anymore and he let go, “yes fuck baby, you can cum. gonna cum inside you fuck, gonna fill you up.”
Patrick cleans them both up and uncuffs both of Art’s wrists.
“how do your wrists feel? or better yet how does your face feel?,” Patrick smirks and he’s pretty proud of himself. Making someone cum untouched was always on his bucket list.
Art is half asleep on his bed when he mumbles out, “‘m good, feel good.”
Patrick smiles before he takes Art’s blanket and uses it to tuck Art in. He feels pretty proud of himself for putting Art to sleep as well. He gets dressed to head out and get them some food. He already knows Art will be hungry when he wakes up.
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darlingdaisyfarm · 2 days ago
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takin’ what’s not yours (ford x reader x stan)
chapter 2 | chapter 1
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someone please whack me with a rolled-up newspaper like a misbehaving dog so i actually finish my fics on time. also i think this chapter is mega boring but i have no more brain cells to fix it because im very tired
tags for this chapter: death mention (i mean a dog’s death, and this is a little self-indulgent, but i just wanted to write it exactly like that), gore (not so much), panic attacks, child abuse, alcohol, flashbacks, unreliable narrator
Stanley, who has never met a terrible situation he couldn’t defuse with a joke, lets out a breath. “hey, bro, you planning on hunting something tonight or just ready to, i dunno, take out some deer in the backyard ”
Ford blinks once, but doesn’t lower the crossbow. “Already did,” he answers calm as you please. “for an experiment.”
You and Stanley go silent at the same time. The crackling of the old lightbulb above you fills the space where words should be. Somewhere outside, a tree branch scrapes against the roof, snapping you out of trance.
“. . . What,” you say finally, because someone has to.
“I needed to analyze the cellular structure post-mortem, it’s relevant to my research.”
Stan lets out a laugh, which sounds a little too loud in that awkward silence. “Oh, sure. Yeah. Right. Because that makes total sense, totally normal thing to do. Real brother-of-the-year shit.”
“Science isn’t about sentimentality, Stanley. Besides, it was already injured when i found it. I only expedited the process.”
Expedited the process. Jesus Christ.
You glance at Stanley, who is staring at Ford with such confused face, seeing something he doesn’t recognize , doesn’t have name for, which is funny, because you’re pretty sure he’s seen a lot of versions of Ford by now. Except this this one, who’s holding conversations with himself in his own head, this one with the dark circles and the too-quick explanations.
However, you were Ford’s assistant, his best friend too, so you know how his brain works, although even right now you can’t find explanation for. . . whatever this is.
You take a careful step forward. “Ford, why do you need dead animals for your research?”
“That’s complicated.”
“Try me.”
He exhales through his nose, apparently annoyed. “ Certain anomalies leave biological imprints even after death and I hypothesise that these imprints could be harnessed. Imagine, for example, an organism imbued with interdimensional properties—“
“Okay, okay, no. Stop.” Stan holds up both hands. “literally no idea what you just said, but it sounded fucked up. Also, you're still pointing that thing at us, genius, mind putting it down before i start thinking you’re planning on adding people to your little science fair project?”
Ford blinks again, then looks at his own hands as if he just now realized what he was holding. Carefully, he sets the crossbow aside.
“It’s not like that,” he mutters, pushing his glasses up, looking away.
“Great,” his twin says. “good talk. Totally reassuring.”
There’s another silence, because Ford doesn't answer that. You dont know what to say too. And the shack gets colder with every minute. Ford’s back is turned now, and you don’t know if he’s done talking or if he just doesn’t care if you’re still standing here.
You glance at Stanley again, silently telling him to say something, to do something, that's his own brother after all, damn it! But he ignores your request and folds his arms over his chest. What a moron. . . And because you hate this kind of silence, you try again. “Ford,” but much softer this time. “seriously, are you okay?”
Ford doesn't answer right away and that's the part that worries you the most. “It’s not as morbid as you’re making it sound. I needed to study the decomposition process in controlled conditions. It’s for science.”
Which is possibly the worst possible answer he could have given.
Stan scoffs, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, nervous, but trying to hide it. “Yeah, that clears it right up. Real normal hobby you got there, Poindexter.”
Stanford just ignores that.
Then, out of nowhere, as if to shake the whole tension, Stan shivers, “Oh man. Do we have any tea or something? I’m freezing.” he says it offhand obviously, but it’s the perfect excuse for you.
So you seize it immediately. “Yeah , i’ll— i’ll go make some,” you say, already turning toward the kitchen.
Ford barely acknowledges you leaving, but Stan does. You notice the way his brown eyes flick toward you, the silent thanks he tells you. You both need a second to breathe.
The kitchen is cold when you light the stove, set the kettle on, press your hands to the counter and think. Ford is weird, you knew that, but this is different. The last time you saw him, he wasn’t like this, his skin wasn’t so pale, his eyes weren’t so dark.
He was paranoid. . . Maybe, okay, he sure was, but there used to be some kind of. . . purpose, excitement behind that paranoia. Now, it just looks like wild fear.
A deep, sinking feeling twists in your gut.
Meanwhile, in the other room, Stan’s stomach growls and the sound is too loud, making Ford glance at him. “You should eat something.”
Stan rolls his eyes. “thanks for the life advice, doctor sixer.”
“It’s just an observation.”
“Yeah? Well, what are you, taking a role of an older brother now?” Stan mutters, leaning back in his chair.
Ford doesn't answer, just stares, not knowing what to say to that. In the kitchen, the kettle starts to whistle as you shake yourself out of your thoughts. Pulling out some old mugs andgrabbing the first container of tea you can find, you turn your head to the cookies are on the counter and without even thinking about it, just grab a handful and pile them onto a plate.
When you walk back in, Stan’s sitting stiffly, arms crossed, visibly uncomfortable, while Ford is in exactly the same position as before, hasn’t moved an inch.
You set the tray down with a little too much force. “Ford, i hope you don’t mind i stole your cookies to feed your brother.”
But he barely reacts. Stan, though, eyes the plate, two seconds away from breaking down in gratitude.
“You are actually a lifesaver,” he says, grabbing one immediately.
You pass Ford his tea, but he doesn’t drink right away. Stan, on the other hand, takes a sip, exhales long and slow. “ God , finally, something warm.”
The moment almost feels normal until Ford lifts his mug, opens his mouth and spills the entire thing down his front . You freeze , feeling the cookie stuck in your throat . Just. All of it. No attempt to sip or at least to adjust , looks like a full-body failure of basic motor skills.
The room goes dead silent as Stanley and you stare again.
Ford doesn’t react, just sits there, drenched in tea, holding the empty mug like nothing happened.
“. . . Bro,” Stan says finally. “what the fuck was that.”
You’re gripping your own mug tightly, nervous. “Ford?”
Ford blinks, looking down at his soaked clothes, he slowly touches the fabric, not understanding what went wrong. “I guess I miscalculated.”
Stan throws his hands in the air. “Miscalculated? Miscalculated what, basic human function?”
Ignoring his twin again, Stanford doesn’t answer, still staring at the tea, clenching his fingers. You bite your lip. yeah. Something is wrong. Something’s really, really wrong.
Stan makes a strangled, baffled noise, shoving a hand through his hair, trying to process what he just saw. “Sweet Moses, Sixer, you just malfunctioned. You just— what the hell was that? You need a reboot? A software update?”
Ford, to his credit, keeps his fa c e expression calm as possible. Only brushes a hand over his soaked clothes with a blank face. “It’s nothing, Stanley, a minor lapse in coordination.”
“A minor lapse?” Stan repeats, looking to you for backup. “ Are you one year old?”
You want to laugh, because this is fucking ridiculous because Stan is damn right, but the feeling that’s been pooling in your stomach since you stepped foot back in the shack only deepens.
Ford isn’t acting normal. Not weird normal. Not his usual ‘I’m smarter than everyone and i know it’ normal.
“Ford,” you say quietly. “are you sure you’re okay? This is getting weird.”
Stanford turns to you like he just now remembered you were here and the second your eyes meet, you immediately want to look away as if your body is trying to tell you something your brain hasn’t caught up with yet. Get out.
“Of course i am, why wouldn’t i be?” you're not sure if you imagined it, but the intonation sounds rather sarcastic.
You don’t get to answer as you hear something crashing outside. Stan nearly chokes on his tea while you jolt so hard your own mug sloshes in your hands.
Ford is the only one who doesn’t react.
“Shit,” Stan hisses, immediately craning his head toward the window. “what the fuck was that?”
Your heart beats faster. You don’t know why, but suddenly the only thought in your head is—
“What if it’s a yeti,” you whisper, deadly serious.
Stan whips his head toward you. “Why the hell would it be a yeti?”
You glare at him. “Ford literally just admitted to performing illegal backwoods taxidermy. Why wouldn’t it be a yeti?”
Stan thinks about your words and his expression changes. “ Yeah , okay, fair point.”
Suddenly you hear another noise, but this time it’s a sharp rattle against the window.
Stan nearly jumps out of his skin. “oh fuck, it’s the cops.”
Ford finally sighs, tilting his head to glance toward the front door. “It’s not the police, it’s the wind.”
You and Stan exchange a look. Ford is right, the storm outside has picked up hard as the wind is howling through the trees, snow slamming against the shack in heavy sheets.
Stan exhales, realizing that he probably doesn't have a chance to get out of here in his car, the roads are so damn clogged. He runs a hand over his tired face. “Great, just fucking great.”
You glance toward the door, slumping your shoulders. “Yeah. Looks like i’m staying the night.”
Ford doesn’t even hesitate, happy with your words. “You can take the spare room.”
Stan raises an eyebrow, surprised at how fast his brother offered. You are too, honestly. Does that mean . . . you don’t get to finish your thought when Ford turns to Stan. “You can stay too, Stanley.”
At first, Stan doesn't react at all, thinking that he misheard, but then his brother's words gradually sink in. He's wary when he clears his throat, rubbing at the back of his neckawkwardly, obviously not used to that. “Uh. Yeah. Okay, thanks.”
Ford steps past him, when he passes his twin, though, he stops and leans in. “don’t worry , im not dad, i won’t throw you out.” just like that, he keeps walking, leaving Stan standing here wide eyed and frozen.
You stare after Ford, then back at Stan .
“Oh, um,” you say. “what the hell.”
Stan looks down. “yeah, no shit.”
***
The shack at night is a different thing, you knew this already, but knowing it and feeling it are two different things. You’ve stayed the night here before, back when things were normal, back when Ford was normal and the silence always calmed you, unlike right now. When you hear your own heart beating and the whole house is listening.
Stanley is asleep, dead asleep. Sprawled across the couch in a tangle of limbs and blankets, snoring faintly through the storm’s howl. Good for him, it's the first time in years he hasn’t had to sleep in the backseat of a car, curled up around himself like a stray dog in a storm drain. It doesn’t matter that the couch is stiff, that the room is freezing, this is the best sleep he’s had in years.
***
Summer, 1960-something. Kids. Kids with scabby-kneed, sunburned noses and wild hair.
The harbour always smelled like salt and fish.
Ford’s hands shake when he sees the bruise. So deep, ugly, purpling against Stan’s cheekbone, swelling beneath his eye.
“What happened?”
His brother was sitting on the curb, resting his arms over his knees, staring at a crack in the pavement.
“Dunno, pa just gets mad.”
The words felt like someone had dropped a rock right into Ford's chest, as it just sank to the bottom of his stomach, too heavy to breathe around.
Stan must’ve noticed, because he grinned. He actually hated that look, hated seeing his own twin with that kind of expression, because that made Stan know exactly how he looked when their old man had really lost it.
“But hey, hey, least now i look tough, huh? Bet all those bullies are gonna be real scared now,” he grinned, nudging Ford with his elbow.
Ford’s hands curled into fists. “thats not,” he cut himself off, shaking his head. “that's not gonna help, Stanley!”
“Eh, maybe,” he shrugged. “but it sure looks cool, huh?”
It didn’t. It looked awful.
Ford's chest was too tight. He looked at his brothers bruised eye, at the careless shrug in his posture, and suddenly the words burst out before he can stop them.
“We should run away.”
Stan opened his mouth, surprised, Ford, sixer, being this bold? And a second, he almost looked serious, considering it.
Then he laughed loudly. “and go where, genius?”
“Anywhere! Somewhere better. We could, we go up north, where it’s colder, where nobody knows us.”
Stan squinted at him. “but what about ma?” Ford hesitated, looking down. Stanley's smile faded as he rubbed his bruise. “look, Sixer, i appreciate the whole dramatic rescue thing, but we’re kids. Where’re we even gonna sleep? In a box?”
“We’d figure it out, you'll never be homeless, we'll never he homeless,” Ford insisted. “we’re smart—“
“You’re smart,” Stan corrected, no bitterness, just a fact. “im just a guy who can throw a good punch.”
Ford hated that he said that, so he didn’t give up.
“We could take a boat,” he tried again. “work at a dock, make some money—“
“You’d get seasick in five minutes.”
Ford scowled. “i would not.”
“Yeah, you would,” Stan teased, nudging him again.
Ford didn’t answer, because he hated the way Stanley took it all as some kind of joke. He was serious. He meant it.
But Stan just sighed again, stretching his arms over his head. “nah. don’t worry about it, Poindexter. Ain’t no big deal.”
It was a big deal. But Ford didn’t say anything else. Just sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around his knees, staring at the same crack in the pavement.
They were kids, they thought like kids. Ford just wished they’d stayed kids. Stanley wished the same.
***
Ford is in his bed, but he's not sleeping. Or maybe he does, technically.
He shifts, twists, rolls to his side, then to his back, then to his stomach, then repeats the cycle, stuck in a loop. His body doesn’t want to be still, doesn’t know how to be still.
He can't really control it, can’t open his eyes no matter how much he wants to.
It’s the same dream every time. Ford and him, sitting across from each other, playing chess, if Ford could call it that because every move Ford makes is a lie, and every move Bill makes is a trap.
Ford can’t win no matter what he does, no matter how many times he tries. Bill moves a piece. Ford counters. Bill moves another. Ford moves in response.
And when Stanford blinks, they’re already back at the start, the pieces damn reset and the game begins again.
“What do you say, Sixer? another round?”
Ford clenches his jaw, it’s not like he has any other choice. He just moves the first piece.
Every time their game ends with same, when Ford sees the door to his childhood home. It's already happening, every night.
He sees his brother standing there, staring in at their father with hope in his eyes, waiting for him to change his mind.
Ford sees his father’s mouth moving and even though can't clearly hear the words, he doesn't even need to hear them. He knows what happens next.
It’s already happened.
It’s always happening.
You aren’t asleep, either. Your head is too full, your body is too restless . Your thoughts won’t quiet. Ford, you cant get him out of your head. What you saw hours ago is sitting heavy on your chest, making it hard to breathe properly. Something is wrong with him and the whole shack, it doesn’t feel like it should.
You don’t know why it bothers you so much, but it does. Ford has always been intense, sure, his brain works faster than everyone else's, you've always known that.
You shake your head, taking a deep breath. No use going in circles. You have to talk to him tomorrow, ask him. And let him deny your questions as much as he likes and look at you like you're crazy, you'll get your way.
As soon as you close your eyes, finally sinking into sleep, the lights go out, and the whole room plunges into an all-consuming darkness. Fuck.
You immediately sit up, gripping the blanket. It can't be that bad.
It's fine, this is fine. You know where you are, you're in the shack, the storm outside is brutal, but that's normal. The generator will probably kick in any second now.
. . . Any second now.
. . . Any damn second.
The darkness does not change. You swallow. No use waiting, there should be candles somewhere in here, just to keep you sane and. . . would word safe fit here? Honestly, you just want to make this place feel like somewhere, instead of nothing at all.
Pushing the blanket off, you slip out of bed, feeling the cold floor beneath your feet.
Ford keeps candles somewhere, you know he does because it was a Christmas gift from you, years ago. So it should be easy to find them.
You put your hands out to feel for the walls as you move slow, trying not to bang your shin into anything, listening to the creaks of the house around you and footsteps. Wait.
Footsteps, exactly. Your whole body goes rigid.
Someone else is awake. Your heart pounds as you pause, listening hard.
Okay, they're not rushed, you take a note of that. Not stumbling or uncertain. Not. . . What was his name? Stanley? Yeah, probably not Stanley's, he would be louder, sloppier.
Meanwhile these sounds too slow, intentional.
Your fingers shake as you reach out, feeling along the shelves. Goddamn, you need a candle. Just one. Just enough light to fucking see.
Seems like luck is not on your side because just when you take another step, you damn trip, your hands shoot out, grabbing wildly for balance, but before you can fall and hit the ground hands catch you.
And they're not yours. Your breath stops. Someone else’s. You barely have time to react before you feel them close around your waist, digging into your stomach, your hips, moving fast, searching, checking. So strong. Coming from behind.
They trace higher, gripping as they move up to your chest. The air rushing from your lungs, your body tenses as a jolt of shock slams through you. The hands don't let go, not letting you pull away as they hold you in place. You try to yell, but before you can, you hear someone's voice right in your ear.
“Shouldn't you be asleep?”
Your blood runs ice fucking cold, but hands don’t let go.
If anything, they tighten. Painfully gripping you, grasping keeping you there, locked in place. A rush of panic clouding your senses before you even have time to think.
And it doesn't help th at the darkness is so thick, so you can't see who's behind you, can't even get a glimpse
Long fingers trailing slow over the curve of your sides, the dip of your waist, the softness of you beneath them. They follow the shape of your hips, press into the plush of your thighs.
You gasp when you feel your back pressing against someone’s broad chest. But your thoughts don’t fully settle on who or what it can be because your body is screaming louder than your mind. Sharp panic coils in your gut.
Your mind is too scattered, clouded with adrenaline. You thrash. Or at least you try to. Your muscles tense to push, to shove, but the hands don’t budge.
Panic overrides everything, making it impossible to think and breathe. Your body tells you one thing: get away .
But the fear floods your veins like ice, so much so that you can’t even count the fingers on the hands holding you.
Five. Six. Which is it? You should know. But sadly, your mind is too frantic, your skin burning too hot where those fingers press, where they curl. You don’t even realize you’re shaking.
And when they let go, all at once, the air rushes back into your lungs as your body stumbles forward, and you don’t wait or look back, letting your feet carry you .
You don’t remember running back to bed.
You don’t remember pulling the blankets over yourself, heart hammering, breath coming too fast, too shallow.
All you remember is pressing yourself into the mattress, squeezing your eyes shut and whispering the first prayer you've ever said in years. Not that it helps
So instead, you think. You force yourself to think.
Because fear is useless to a scientist, it is irrational, fear clouds judgment, fear lies.
And if you let it win, it will consume you.
You feel. . . violated. That’s the word, isn’t it? Or was it something that could be explained away as a trick of the mind?
Was it someone? Yes. Someone grabbed you. Someone touched you.
Your stomach lurches and you swallow it down, gripping at the blankets while your brain tries to work through it. To think. To rationalize.
This can’t be. Logic has to win, but the feeling is still there.
The ghost of hands on your body.
And you don’t sleep.
***
There's dirt under your fingernails, packed tight in the creases, clinging to the skin of your palms. Your hands hurt a little. Dug too deep. Pressed too hard. The grave was small, no headstone, although you wish you could, just a little wooden marker Ford helped you to carve.
Somewhere in the trees, hidden in the thick summer-green leaves, cicadas chirped. It was so warm, the grass beneath you was soft, a little overgrown, tickling against your arms.
Your throat still felt tight, and your hands, fisted in your lap, felt hollow.
Your voice came out rough. “it’s stupid to cry over a dog, right?”
Ford turned his head toward you, furrowing his brows, not sure if you were joking.
“What?”
“I mean,“ sniff. “its just a dog.” you rubbed at your face, pressing your palms into your eyes until all you saw was red behind your lids.
He stared at you, and you could feel it. His gaze rested on you, assessing, he was trying to figure out if you meant it or if you were just saying it to make yourself stop feeling.
Ford was not good with emotions too. You knew this. Logic, facts and equations neatly filed thoughts.
“You loved him, why wouldn’t you cry?”
You let out something between a laugh and a breath. It shook a little. “yeah,” you wrapped your arms around your knees. “yeah, i did.”
A scientist, you were a scientist, scientists weren't supposed to get that emotional over things that had clear, defined ends. Things that had lifespans. It was biology. Living things died. It was just how it worked.
But god, he was your dog. He'd slept at your feet when you stayed up too late, followed you through the woods, knew exactly when to curl up against you when you were sad.
“He was a really good dog.” Ford said eventually.
“He was so stupid,” you stared at the dirt. “always running into things. Remember that time he stole your sandwich?”
“He didn’t steal it,” Ford corrected. “you gave it to him.”
“After he tried to rip it out of my hands.”
“He was very persistent,” he admitted.
“You were so mad, i think that’s the first time i ever heard you swear.”
“I did not swear,” Ford said, scandalized.
“You did. I remember. And remember that time when he came back covered in mud?”
Ford smiled. “mud and skunk pray. You had to him, what, three baths?”
“Four,” you smiled back. “and he still smelled. I had to sleep with all the windows open.”
“You let him on your bed anyway,” Ford pointed out.
You huffed. “of course i did.”
Silence again. You leaned to the side, lettingyour head rest against his shoulder.
He didn't pull away. Only stiffened for half a second, like he always did, because he still wasn't sure what to do with touch. And then his hand came up and rested lightly against the back of your head.
The sun dipped lower, turning the sky honey-thick, melting into the trees.
“I’m gonna miss him,” you whispered.
Ford’s fingers curled slightly against your hair. “i know. Me too.”
You let out a breath and closed your eyes, feeling the tears again.
Ford's hand stayed in your hair.
***
Morning comes slow, at least the storm has settled. The sky outside the window is still covered with a gray haze, the snow is still falling, but the howling of the wind has subsided.
You don’t feel rested, but you’re awake and you need answers. You hate to admit it, but you're scared. And your thoughts don't paint the best picture for you.
You move careful, quiet, slipping out of the spare room into the main part of the shack.
And the first thing you hear is loud, unrestrained ridiculous snoring, coming right from the couch.
You blink, glancing towards it.
Stanley. Sprawled across it in the most undignified position possible. On his side, curled slightly inward, arms tucked close against his chest. Just a little, but poor guy is shivering. Like some pathetic, scrappy little street dog curled up against the cold. The blanket barely stays wrapped around him, but he clutches at it, seeking warmth in a place where he’s used to none.
For a brief moment, he looks. . . well, he looks cute. But you shake the thought away. You have bigger things to deal with. You need to find Ford.
The lab is quiet, but inside his head, it isn’t.
Ford is slumped in the corner, collapsed into himself with his knees drawn up, his hands tangled deep in his own hair, like he's trying to keep something from leaking out, all six fingers curled so tight against his scalp that his knuckles are bloodless. Moving his heavy head in small, restless jerks, shaking side to side, wanting to shake it out, but it’s not working, it never works, IQ, you fucking idiot.
Sixer's body tense with horrible, restless energy as if he’s still trying to wake up even though he never truly slept.
Dark, bruising exhaustion hollows out his eyes, pulling his features tight with sleepless strain. His glasses have slipped low on his nose, the bridge smeared with fingerprints, hes been pushing at them, rubbing at his own skin, trying to wake himself up.
Bill was always there.
The same dream. The same game. The same endless, maddening chess match. And the same loss.
Over. And over. And over.
No matter what move Ford made. no matter how many times he tried to outthink the demon, Bill always won.
And at the end it was always the same. Stanley, who's looking at his brother standing in the window, framed by the curtains
Stanley's eyes
Ford never forgot his eyes. The way they looked at him.
The way his brother had searched his face for some answer, at least some kind of explanation, begging. Stan's eyes so big, so damn wide, the pupils blown dark with confusion, desperation, with a hurt that had no words.
And his voice so small, so weak.
“Sixer?”
Ford shudders. Vomit rises in his throat. His hands tighten in his hair.
Gosh, he feels sick.
His stomach twists, coils, knots so tight it feels like it might rupture.
The sticky notes around him are everywhere, scattered across the floor, plastered against the walls, some even stuck to the sleeves of his shirt.
MISS ME, NERD? 
FEELIN’ RESTED? 
DOESN’T MATTER! I’LL SEE YA TONIGHT ;)
DON’T WORRY, POINDEXTER!
I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU! HAHAHA!
HOW’S STAN, BY THE WAY?
HE’S STILL MAD ABOUT, Y’KNOW. THE WHOLE… THING
REMEMBER WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE? YIKES.
He wants to rip them down, burn them, but they've dug their way into his skin.
But his body won’t move because his mind is somewhere else now.
Ford remembers the deer. Or what was left of it.
Half dead in the snow. Legs moving, jerking in agony. The crack of stiff joints.
Something that shouldn’t be alive rose from the ground, black tar pooling from its mouth. The ground beneath Ford's boots was damp, the scent of rot curling sharp in his nostrils.
Patches of fur are missing, peeled away, exposing the raw, rotting flesh beneath. Its ribs jut out in jagged angles, parts of it look eaten.
But the worst part is the eyes. Empty sockets, gaping holes where its eyes should be.
Ford ran, but forest was too big. Too many trees, too many shadows and sounds.
His feet slipped on something wet and Ford knew he shouldn't have looked down
Bones scattered across the ground, half-buried in the damp earth. And awfully glistening organs strewn across the ground. Dark red. Raw. Rotting.
A smell so thick, so rancid it shoves itself down his throat, makes him gag. His shaking hands flew to his mouth to stop the ill-fated piece of vomit that threatened to burst out.
You did this.
You did this.
You did this.
Ford screamed, falling to his knees, dirt and blood staining his clothes.
The sound that ripped from his throat didn’t sound human.
His throat closed, air wouldn’t go in, wouldn’t stay.
Ford opens his eyes. His body jerks , thrashing against the floor, his hands shaking, fingers clawing at his own skin, trying to tear something out of himself.
He can’t breathe. His throat is tight, closing, closing, his lungs burning, his vision swimming.
His stomach twists, nausea rising fast, his head spinning so violently he doesn’t know which way is up.
He can't breathe. He can't breathe. Ford is dying
His hands claw at his own chest, digging his fingers into fabric, into skin.
He barely registers the sound of someone entering the room, running to him, moving, hands grabbing his arms, gripping, holding.
“Ford, Ford. Hey—”
The deer.
The deer, the deer, the deer—
“ Ford!”
A voice he barely hears, hands on his shoulders, hands on his face, hands gripping him.
Not his.
Not Bill’s.
Yours
But Ford can't move, his body feels tight, contorted as if something is twisting him from the inside out. The color of his face is wrong. He’s so pale, every shadow and hollow stark under the overhead lab lights. His lips are parted, his mouth trembling, and his eyes, so wide, bulging, glassy with tears, but not focused.
Not seeing you.
He makes a noise between a choke and a gasp, his fingers digging harder into his own arms, his whole body starting to shudder .
You're on your knees in front of him.
“Ford,” you grab at his arms. “it’s okay, you’re okay, it’s me, i’m right here—”
Ford jerks, his hands flying out, shoving at you with a sudden burst of fear and he screams. “Go away!”
You stumble back, watching him wrapping his arms around himself, his whole body curling inward
“Go away,” he gasps again , “go away, you— you monster —”
“Ford, it’s me, i swear it’s me, look at me.”
But he won’t. His lips are moving, forming broken, faltering words, but nothing comes out.
He’s not here.
His mind is somewhere deep, somewhere dark, somewhere you can’t reach him.
“Ford,” you say again, softer this time, but firmer, shifting closer on your knees, “you’re having a panic attack, okay? you need to breathe, you’re safe.”
His scared eyes snap up to you, still wide and glassy and it doesn't take long for him to cry. Ford gasps so hard he thinks his lungs might collapse.
Your arms are around him, pulling him against you, pressing his face into your chest, holding him, feeling the way he trembles while he clutches at your arms in return, his hands fisting in your shirt, clinging to you.
“I’ve got you,” you whisper, “I promise, i’ve got you.”
“thirty-two point eight megahertz— quadrants , electron spin—”
What?
At first, it’s so soft you can barely hear it.
Your brow furrows . “Ford?”
“Event horizon c-collapse, field equations— metric tensor—”
You tilt your head to see him, but he just hunches further into you
“Warp theory— symmetry breakdown — proton decay—“
You squeeze him. “Ford, hey—“
He shudders and his muttering falters. Closing his puffy eyes, he buries his face deeper into your chest.
His mind registered it last, but his body recognized you first.
And you hold him, stroking slow, careful circles between his shoulder blades, your fingers weaving up into his hair, carding through the brown strands.
You try to breathe together with him. Slowly, letting him hear it. Letting him match it.
“I’m here, Ford, im right here, i swear you are okay.” you feel how his hands clench, then loosen, then tighten again.
His body still shakes, but the sharp edges of it start to dull, the tremors turning softer, his breathing slowing.
But his face stays hidden.
“Ford , i—” you swallow. “i’m worried about you.”
His shoulders stiffen. You keep going.
“This isn’ t. . . isn’t normal. You’re not okay, Ford. I think maybe,” your fingers twitch in his hair. “i think maybe you should talk to someone, to professional?”
The moment Stanley bursts through the door, his eyes widen at the scene before him. His brother, still trembling, lost in the fog of his panic attack, and you, crouched on the floor with your arms wrapped tightly around him, holding him close
Stan’s face immediately changes into that familiar, protective mask, although it's even more concerned now
“What the hell is goin’ on here?”
You turn your head to meet his worried gaze, your own heart still racing in the aftermath of what you just witnessed. “He just had a panic attack, Stan.”
“A panic attack?” Stan repeats, raising an eyebrow, clearly not sure how to process it, “jesus christ.”
You don’t say anything.
Your hand is still on Ford’s arm as you still feel the tremors running through him.
Stan huffs a sigh, rubbing his hands over his face, clearly unsure of how to proceed. Then, with a deep breath, he squats down next to his twin, trying to make himself appear less intimidating. “Hey, sixer,” he says, making his voice a little gentler, “what’s goin’ on? you . . . you talkin’ to anyone about this? is there somethin’ you ain’t tellin’ me? why the panic attack?”
Ford is still silent, his breath still ragged, as if he can’t find a way back to normalcy. He lifts his head, peering up at his brother, but it’s clear that whatever’s plaguing his mind, he’s not ready to share it.
“C’mon, Sixer, you can tell me. what’s really goin’ on, huh?”
Ford doesn’t answer. Stan looks at you, his gaze is questioning, but you don’t know what to say either. How do you explain something you don’t even understand?
Ford is not going to talk too, whatever it is that has him this scared, he wont say it aloud. He better keep it to himself, this deep-rooted and unspoken truth has to stay buried, even if it tears him apart to keep it locked in.
“Ford, it’s okay,” you murmur, squeezing your fingers lightly at his sleeve, “you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”
Stan lets out a long, deep sigh, rubbing at his jaw, his eyes still on Ford. And, of course, because he can’t help himself, because he’s Stanley, because it’s how he deals with things, he tries to joke. Tries to break the tension the only way he knows how
“Shit, you look like you just saw a ghost.”
Ford stiffens.
Stan notices. And he . . . does that thing he always does, when things get too serious, when he doesn’t know what to say
He deflects.
Leans back, shakes his head, lets out a short chuckle.
“Or damn, maybe even worse. Like. . . i dunno. Like you just realized the government’s been spying on you through your radio or somethin’.”
Ford’s whole face twitches.
“Stanley,” you glare, warning him, and he immediately holds up his hands in mock surrender.
“What? What’d i say?” but his face betrays him. He knows what he said. He knows it was a bad joke. But he also doesn’t take it back, because that’s how he deals with things, isn’t it? Laughing when he’s scared. Pretending he isn’t worried when it’s clear as day that he is. And you don’t have time to unpack that, not when Ford is still sitting there, unresponsive.
“Just not now, okay?”
Stan grumbles, but doesn’t argue.
Ford hasn’t moved, at least his breathing sounds a little better, less sharp, a little more even, but he still looks. . . tired, so damn tired.
You soften your voice again.
“Ford, hey. . . i know you’re exhausted. I know you’re not feeling good, but maybe a shower would help? Get you cleaned up, get some of that tension out of your muscles.”
His eyes blink at you slowly, dazed you'd day, trying to process the words, but he just doesn’t have the energy.
“C’mon,” you coax, “you’ve got those bags under your eyes. You need some rest.”
There’s a long pause before Ford gives the faintest nod. And so you help him up, carefully, and he lets you, barely meeting your eyes, ashamed that you saw him like that but following your lead, disappearing down the hall toward the bathroom.
You exhale when you hear the water running.
Your body slumps just slightly, hands still tingling fro m holding onto him for so long. But you push through it, stretching out your stiff legs, then step toward the kitchen, glancing over your shoulder as you go, noticing Stan following you. Not that you're not used to it, after all, back home, you've got a little shadow on your own.
He doesn’t say anything at first, just leans against the counter, arms crossed, watching as you open the fridge, moving through the motions of finding something quick to make that Ford will actually eat without you having to argue with him over it.
Stan watches you like a cat staring at a fish tank. Or maybe more like a dog staring at a steak.
“I can hear you drooling,” you say without looking.
“I am not drooling.” you turn and yeah, no, he’s definitely eyeing the food with his whole damn soul.
“Uh-huh.”
He shrugs. “What can I say? I see food, I want food. You gotta get used to it if you’re cookin’ around me, sweetheart.”
“Noted.”
You keep working, stirring something in a pan, and Stan shifts against the counter, watching you for a second before glancing toward the hallway.
“Well, i gotta say,” he grumbles, back at eyeing the kitchen counter like a starving animal, “you really know how to make a guy’s day.”
You can’t help but laugh softly, rolling your eyes as you pull out the ingredients for a quick meal. “yeah, yeah, i don’t cook much, but i figured he needs something. Gotta take care of him.”
Actually you’re not much of a cook, but right now, it feels like the only thing you can do. You’re not a doctor. You’re not a therapist. You can’t fix Ford. But you can make him something to eat.
“So, what’s the deal with you two, huh?”
You pause mid-stir, glancing at Stan. “what?”
“You and Sixer. What are you? Couple? Friends? Lab partners? Secret government spies?”
You clear your throat. “we studied together.”
Stan raises an eyebrow. “just studied, huh?”
“Yes, Stanley,” you say, exasperated, turning back to the pan. “just studied.”
He watches you for a beat longer before humming, noncommittal. “Huh. That’s funny.”
You glance at him again. “what is?”
“That Sixer never mentioned me. I mean, you two were clearly close. Close enough that you’re still here, takin’ care of him. So why the hell didn’t he ever tell you about his own damn brother?”
You shake your head. “he doesn’t talk much about his past or his family. Especially after one situation where i saw a photo of his dad and said he looked just like him. Ford didn’t take it well.”
Stan chuckles. “Yeah, that’d do it, he doesn’t like the family thing much. None of us do.”
You glance up at him, raising your eyebrow, but before you can ask, Stan shrugs, not going to explain any further. “Sixer’s got his own baggage. We all do. Just gotta leave it at that.”
“He really doesn’t like talking about it. About his family or his past, i mean, i get it, but—“
“Hell yeah, sweetheart, family’s a hell of a thing.”
At end, Ford did eat what you cooked. Barely spoke, though. Sat at the table, moving food around with his fork, his own goddamn thoughts were so heavy he couldn't lift his hand right. You weren’t sure how much he actually tasted of what he was eating, but at least he got it down. You had to remind him to drink some water, push the glass a little closer when he forgot it was there.
Stan, on the other hand, jesus, the way he looked at the food, you almost felt guilty. Like some starving dog watching through a window. And yeah, he made a joke about it, about you running a charity kitchen or something, but you told him to just eat already. No need to act like a starving orphan from a dickens novel. He didn’t argue, eating fast, as if he might lose it if he didn’t.
It was easy to forget about what happened this night, the power cutting out and that moment of frozen, breathless fear in the dark. All of that got buried under your worry for Ford, who looked like he was about to pass out.
Ford was still pale, what made you want to press a hand to his forehead, check if he had a fever. You tried to ask, tried to get him to talk about it, but. . .
“You sure you’re alright?”
And of course, he just waved you off, mumbled something vague.
“It’s nothing.“
“It doesn’t look like nothing.”
“I’m fine.”
Stan chuckled, muttered something under his breath what made you shoot him a look before he could say something worse.
Ford didn’t want to talk, that was obvious. But that was the thing about him, right? Always acting like he was fine, even when he was so clearly not.
Stan had been quiet, chewing and incredulously looking around the house like it might spit him back out. He didn’t belong here, wasn’t supposed to be here, and was just waiting for the moment Ford would make it clear.
So, he cracked a joke instead. About how he should probably leave before Sixer turned into an even bigger grump, about how he “wouldn’t wanna overstay his welcome.”
“Soo yeah, guess I better be hittin’ the road.”
You frowned at him. “why?”
Stan gestured loosely. “i dunno, i just figure, y’know. Not exactly mr. Welcome here. ‘sides, your guy here looks like he needs his beauty sleep.”
“He’s not my guy.” you answered, but that didn’t stop the way your stomach twisted. Damn, you didn’t wanna leave Ford alone. Not after everything you’d seen. But . . . your dog. You had to get back. Had to feed her, take her out, make sure she wasn’t tearing up your furniture.
Ford didn’t respond. Just kept looking at his plate, barely eating anymore.
You hesitated. The thing was, you didn’t wanna leave. Not when Ford still looked like this and you knew something was wrong, but he wasn’t saying.
But you had a dog waiting for you.
Ford told you it was fine. That you could go. That he “preferred being alone right now. ”
And you hated that. Hated the way he always did this, how he always thought he had to go through everything alone, even when it was clear he needed help.
You promised him you’d be back tomorrow.
“I'll come back tomorrow. i’ll come back, and we’ll talk, okay?”
Ford didn’t answer right away, j ust stared at his plate. “okay.”
You didn’t like how he said it, like it was better if he was alone. Like he wanted to be alone even when he clearly shouldn’t be. And it made you sick, the way you left. Like abandoning a ship you knew was sinking, stepping away from a person you knew needed help. You hated it. Hated the way Ford always pushed everyone away, even when he was fucking drowning.
You and Stan stepped out into the cold, your breath coming out in little clouds into the biting winter air. It was getting dark already, sky looked gray and heavy, as always. Stan stuffed his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the cold. You pulled your jacket tighter as you shivered, rubbing your arms.
“Cold?” he glanced over at you.
“Genius observation.”
The streets of Gravity Falls were quiet. Before long, you were near your place, the porch light shone warmly in the early twilight. You turned to Stan, about to say goodbye, but then you got a good look at him.
The dirt on his jacket, he probably hadn’t had a chance to properly wash it. The exhaustion on his face. And you remembered th e way he’d been staring at food all day, watching Ford eat, practically salivating.
“So uh, you have a place to stay?”
Stan blinked at you. Then scoffed. “‘Course i do.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“I do!”
“ Oh, okay. Where ?”
“Uh, y ’know. The— uh. The, uh . . . ‘lakeview inn.’”
You stared at him. “Well. . . okay.” and Stan seemed relieved that you weren’t pushing.
He coughed into his fist. “yep, great place, real fancy.”
You sighed. You didn’t have it in you to argue. Not right now. You just exhaled, gave him one last look as you told him to take care and stepped inside.
Your dog was waiting for you, so excited, wagging her tail. You knelt down, ran your fingers through her fur, whispered, “missed you too, girl.” Fed her, sat with her on the floor, talked to her, absentmindedly, about Ford. About his brother. About the way Stan was kinda . . . cute.
Meanwhile, across town, Stan climbed into the front seat of his car. He was cold. He curled his jacket around himself, stuffed his hands under his arms, tried not to think about how long it had been since he’d last had a real bed.
Or a real meal.
He should’ve expected this. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done this before. Sleeping in cars, parking lots, the occasional cheap motel when he could swing it. But somehow, after that meal, after you, this felt worse.
He stared up at the ceiling.
He thought about Ford. About how he looked tonight, half a breath away from collapsing. What kind of shit his brother had gotten himself into?
And then Stanley thought about you. You, who offered him food, just like that, like it wasn't some big deal. You, who told him to eat and watched him at the dinner table.
He exhaled, breath fogging up the air.
Tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow would be better.
***
The dorm is a disaster zone, but it always is when the three of you get together for all-nighters. Coffee cups, half-empty energy drinks, a plate of toast that no one’s touched in hours, and papers. . . so many fucking papers covered in chicken scratch equations and half-finished blueprints.
It was past three a.m. now. The window was cracked open a little, letting in the fresh night air, but none of you noticed the cold, too deep into the work.
“I’m tellin’ ya,” Fiddleford said, running a hand through his hair, “if we don’t take quantum decoherence into account, this whole thing’s gonna be about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”
“Decoherence isn’t the issue,” Ford shot back sharply and impatiently . “if anything, it’s the entanglement equation that needs work. if we—“
“Oh my god, would you two shut up and let me think?” you groaned, gripping your hair. “you're both wrong. so wrong. like. fundamentally flawed.”
“Oh, is that so?” Ford pushed up his glasses, squinting at you. “care to elaborate?”
“Not really,” you muttered, blinking slow, yawning.
Fiddleford chuckled. “looks like we’re losin’ you.”
“Honestly, i think i’m about to collapse on myself. I need something stronger than coffee. Anyone got any adderall?”
“University rules strictly forbid unauthorized stimulants—“
“Fidds has moonshine in his bag,” you cut Ford off, grinning. “saw it an hour ago. Was wondering when he was gonna crack it open.”
Fiddleford looked deeply offended for all of two seconds before sighing. “Knew i shouldn’t have let you rifle through my things. . .”
You flashed him a grin before reaching for your tea, now stone cold and bitter as hell.
Fiddleford nudged his glasses up his nose and look ed over at Ford’s notebook, squinting at the formula again. “Alright , maybe you got a point there, buddy.”
Ford let out a smug little noise, proud of himself, but before he could open his mouth and gloat, you yawned again, barely muffling the sound with your sleeve. “Shit, i’m crashing.”
You tried to keep up, you really did, but god, your eyes were so heavy. That's why you took the right decision, somewhere between staring at Ford’s notes and trying to comprehend whatever the hell he was writing, you leaned, without even thinking.
Your head found his warm shoulder and that made him stiffen as if he’d been electrocuted.
Fiddleford went completely silent, stopping drumming his fingers against the table.
It was funny, really. You’d spent the whole night laughing with him, throwing paper balls, joking and teasing Stanford. Now, the moment your breathing evened out, everything got real quiet.
Ford. . . didn't move. Didn’t push you away, even though his shoulders were tense, his pencil hesitated, but then he just kept writing, like nothing happened. Just let you stay there, pressed against him, breathing softly in sleep.
Fiddleford didn’t stop staring, observing Ford's reaction, not in the way he expected.
He looked at you first, your face half-buried in Ford’s sweater as you sighed in your sleep, how easy it was for you to just fall into him like that.
And then he looked at Stanford. At his handsome face, which somehow seemed even better in the lamplight. The furrow in his brow, the six fingers wrapped around his pencil, so concentrated.
Fiddleford looked at all of it. Ford was a genius. A goddamn once-a-generation mind, sharper than a blade, but completely fucking useless at anything to do with feelings. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t see things the way other people do, the way Fiddleford does.
Ford must’ve felt the stare, because after a while, he sighed and glanced up. “what?”
Fiddleford shook his head, smiling slightly. “nothin’, just thinkin’.”
“About?”
Fiddle ford took a sip from his flask and it definitely wasnt coffee. Something stronger. He swirled it, watching the liquid catch the light. “love, i guess.”
Ford scoffed, going back to his notes.“love? shouldn’t you be thinking about our project?”
“Oh, c’mon, ain’t you ever thought about it? bein’ in love? how it feels? ”
Ford didn’t answer at first, just kept writing. “love is. . .” he started, trying to find the right words. “it’s complicated. Distracting, even.”
Fidds hummed. “but good, no?” he grinned, taking another sip. “s’pose you think it’s all just chemical reactions, huh?”
“Well, technically, it is.”
“Yeah, yeah, dopamine, oxytocin, blah blah blah,” Fiddleford waved a hand. ”but it’s more than that.”
They were talking quietly so as not to wake you up. Ford didn’t answer as he shook his head, returning to his work.
So Fiddleford kept going. “i guess it feels nice, y’know? havin’ someone who understands ya, c ares ‘bout ya. Even when you’re difficult.”
Ford stopped writing again, listening intently to his friend's words.
“It’s when you’d do anythin’ for someone, even if it doesn’t make sense. When seein’ ‘em happy makes you happy. When you’d give up everythin’ just to keep ‘em safe. ”
Ford gave him a tiny smile. “you’re being sentimental,”
“Eh, maybe. Or maybe i just get it.”
Stanford finally turned to him, frowning. “get what? ”
“Doesn’t matter.” Fiddleford leaned back, stretching. “s’pose it don’t make much sense for a guy like me to be talkin’ ‘bout love anyway.”
Ford frowned deeper. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
Fiddleford shrugged, suddenly looking a little too interested in his flask.
“Are you saying you don’t think anyone will love you?”
“Oh, i know i ain't exactly a prize catch, Stanford.”
Ford settled his pen down. “that’s not true.”
and that made Fiddleford's eyes fill with hope “yeah?” he quirked a brow.
Ford hesitated, surprised at his own words and initiative, but then, because he was a good friend, because he meant it, he nodded, “You’re smart. Funny. Resourceful. You’re one of the most brilliant people i know and you're—“
“Handsome?”
That made Ford smile. “sure, yes! handsome, even.” Fidds thought he had imagined it. Did Ford really find him so? “so, im sure you'llfind someone. You’ll probably settle down, have a family. A kid, even.”
Oh. . . oh, okay.
And that’s when Fiddleford knew .
His smile did not drop, but he took another s ip of alcohol, letting the warmth burn his throat .
Ford kept writing, pleased he managed to lift his friend's spirit, while you doze quietly against his shoulder. He doesn't even notice Fiddleford getting up, leaning in close enough that Ford finally glances up from his notes.
“Yer my best friend, Ford, guess i’ll just love ya forever.”
Ford stopped writing. The pencil slipped from his fingers
But before he could ask, Fiddleford pushed himself up from the chair, stretched and yawned deeply.
He patted Ford on the shoulder, then grabbed his jacket.
“Whew! man, i need a walk. i’ll be back.” and just like that, he was gone, leaving Ford alone with the papers, the cold coffee and with the equations that suddenly didn’t make sense anymore.
Alone with you, asleep on his shoulder.
Ford didn’t move for a long time.
***
The morning air was cold enough to wake you up, even though you were still in the fog of sleep. Gravity Falls wasn’t exactly bustling this early, just a few cars passing, an old man walking his dog, the slow shuffle of someone dragging a garbage bin to the curb.
You pulled your coat tighter, holding your grocery bag. You'd only meant to grab something quick for yourself, but somehow, without even thinking, you'd ended up picking up something for Ford, too. Something that wasn’t just instant noodles and coffee.
He wouldn’t eat properly if left alone. You knew that, you knew him too well. You sighed, adjusting your grip on the bag.
Stanley Pines woke up in hell. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.
His entire body ached, joints were too stiff from sleeping in one uncomfortable pose whole night, cold burrowed so deep in his bones that even curling tighter into his jacket wasn’t helping anymore.
He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, just a few more minutes, ma, please, but the cold gnawed at him, dug under his skin, made every breath feel like ice in his lungs.
He was so fucking tired.
But sleep wouldn’t come back so he lazily cracked one eye open. Fucking hell.
Still the car. Still parked in the same damn spot he’d been in since last night. The windshield was fogged up from his own breath, the windows covered in a thin layer of frost.
“Mmmgh,” he groaned, trying to stretch, but back screamed in protest. God, sleeping in the driver’s seat was not good for his spine.
Cold. Everything was so fucking cold. His toes were numb in his boots, fingers barely flexible enough to work as he rubbed warmth into them.
“Good morning, Stanley,” he muttered to himself. ”what wonderful luxury awaits you today?”
He yawned, running a hand through his brown hair. His mullet was a mess, so tangle d, flattened weird on one side.
First things first, he fumbled for the glove compartment, rummaging through loose receipts and absolute trash until he found the old bottle of cologne. He sniffed it once, it was not fresh. But hey, better than nothing. He rolled it over his wrists, rubbed it against his neck.
Second, he grabbed an old comb, barely dragging it through his tangled mullet before giving up and stuffing it back into the glovebox.
Third, he adjusted the rearview mirror, squinting at his reflection, and groaned again.
“Oof.“
Looked like absolute shit. Dark circles, unshaven, face puffy from sleep. But whatever. Not like he had anyone to impress.
He reached down, adjusting his coat, when—
THUMP.
A hand. A fucking hand slapping against the driver’s side window.
“GAH!” Stan jolted so hard he smacked his knee on the dashboard. He panicked instantly, his hands flew to the wheel. “no, no, no, por el amor de dios, madre santa, no me lleves!” he spat out in rapid-fire spanish, already prepared to beg for his miserable life. “lo juro, no tengo nada, no me arresten, por favor, dios, maria, nadie, por favor!” his mind was a blur of oh shit oh shit oh shit, picturing cops and maybesome pissed-off local ready to drag him out, picturing—
Someone was writing on the window, through the fogged-up glass, a finger traced out two slow words:
It’s me.
That made him froze as he squinted suspiciously, still gripping the wheel tight. Hesitated. then, slowly, he rolled the window down.
You stared at him.
“So,” you said flatly, flicking your gaze between him and the car. “this is the lakeview inn?”
Stanley looked around, hoping a better answer would suddenly appear.
You crossed your arms.
“Technically,” he started, “i do live here. You ever heard of a little thing called, uh, mobile homes? Very trendy and, um, modern.”
”Uh-huh.” your eyes narrowed.
“Alright, alright, fine, ya caught me. I’m actually a millionaire, this is just my vacation home. My actual mansion’s up in the hills, but y’know, i like to stay humble”
“Stan.”
“Yeah?”
“You lied to me.”
“No, listen,” he started, already preparing some dumbass joke to get him out of this.
“You fucking lied to me.”
Stan threw up his hands. “hey, now, let’s not throw around ugly words like—”
“You told me you had a place , Stan.”
He stopped talking, and there was silence between you.
Finally, you sighed, rubbing your temples. “jesus, you look horrible.”
Stan bristled. “hey!”
“And you smell horrible.” not like you were lying though.
“Hey now, hold on!”
“Do you wanna take a shower at my place?”
Stan’s brain short-circuited. “what?”
“Then we’ll get you something to eat,” you continued, ignoring his slack-jawed expression.
He stared at you like you’d just spoken an entirely different language.
You. . . you were offering? Just like that?
“What?”
“You heard me.”
His brows drawing together, mouth pulling into a frown, jaw working as he was trying to find the right words. But it it didn't take long as he smoothed it all over in a blink, replacing it with serious face. He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms.
“What, you pity me now?”
“No,” you said simply.
“Pfft, i dont need you takin care of me, alright? Go waste your charity on someone else.”
“Yeah?” you tilted your head. “so if Stanford was sitting in this car right now looking like this, you'd just walk away?”
Stan stared at you, surprised. You restrained yourself from laughing at how fast the smug confidence drained from his face.
“Thats different.” he muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh wait, wait, wait, i see how it is,” he grumbled. “you got tired of dealin’ with sixer, huh? figured you’d switch to fixin’ me instead?”
“What does this have to do here? Take the offer, dumbass.”
“Nah, i the natural scent.”
“You literally smell like a dumpster.”
“Okay, rude.” Stan putted a hand to his chest, feigning resentment.
But you only waited, waited and waited and that silence made him clench his teeth, grumbling under his breath. So when he finally let out a sharp sigh, dragging a hand down his face, you knew he’d given in. “you got hot water?”
That made you raise an eyebrow and smile. “Of course i have hot water.”
“Fine,” he muttered. “but only ‘cause i got nothin’ better to do and you begged.”
“Right,” you said, unimpressed. He shot you a glare, but you were already walking away, expecting him to follow. And, grumbling all the way, he did.
***
Early autumn. The bus stop bench is cold beneath you and you wish you’d worn something thicker. Clouds rolling lazily in the bright sky, October sun spilling through trees, gold colour caught in Ford's brown hair. He sits beside you, one knee bouncing, a habit of his, nervous tick, always. His hands are shoved deep in his coat pockets, and his breath fogs in the air when he exhales.
You bring the cigarette to your lips and inhale, one leg over the other, foot bouncing absently, meanwhile the tip glows warm for a moment, ember-orange in the afternoon light.
“It’s just a cigarette,” you say, watching the smoke curling from your mouth, but Ford, who's stiff like he's resisting the urge to snatch the cigarette out of your fingers, doesn't seem satisfied with that.
“Yeah and it hurts your pretty lungs.”
Oh. That tone. That damn tone, which means he’s about to start. Again.
He pulls his coat tighter. “Do you know how many carcinogens are in that? the tar alone is—“
You groan, tipping your head back. “oh my god Ford.”
“No, i’m serious. You don’t even understand what that’s doing to your body.”
“It’s not that bad,” you say, cutting him off, waving him away. “you’re acting like i’m chugging cyanide.”
“You might as well be,” his glasses slip down his nose, and he shoves them back up in agitation.
You've heard it all before, the lecturers, the statistics so you roll your eyes, amused, flicking the ash into the pavement. “When i wanna stop, i can.”
Ford scoffs. “that’s what they all say. . . I don't know if you know this, but cigarettes contain over seven thousand chemicals, many of which are—“
You blow smoke into his worried, but serious face and he immediately recoils coughing, waving his hand to dispel the haze. You laugh, reaching over to run a hand through his beautiful golden colored hair to smooth away his frustration.
“Honey,” you barely get time to say before Ford scoffs of. Oh here we go, petnames are back in circulation. You're using the secret weapon, you know exactly what they do to him. “Cant you trust me? when i want to stop, i can.”
Suddenly Ford is twelve years old again and Stanley smells like smoke.
He swears he can hear their dad in the other room, muttering at the evening news.
His brother leans against the windowsill, awkwardly rolling a cigarette between his fingers which he bummed off the older kids at school. There’s a hole in his sleeve. A bruise on his jaw.
“You know dad will smell it! He's gonna know. He's gonna—“
“Yeah, yeah, he'll tan my hide, blah blah.” Stan rolls his eyes, sliding the cigarette between his lips , lighting it with exaggerated flick of the lighter. The first puff is taken in a deep, inexperienced breath before he exhales through his nose. “seriously, Poindexter , would you stop being paranoid? when i wanna stop, i can.”
But he doesn’t, he lies, because Ford hears him cough at night sometimes. Watches him light another in the schoolyard.
He knows it’s bad. But Stan doesn’t listen.
Why does his brother do these things? Why does he always push the limits, cross the lines? Why does he always seem so desperate to do the things he knows he shouldn't?
That day, when they returned from school with large backpacks at the ready, Stanford glanced towards their house. “seriously, Stan, put it out. If da smells it—“
“What, you're scared he'll ground me?” Stanley smirked. “big whoop.”
“Stanley!”
Stan rolled his eyes at his twin's dramatic behavior, but stubbed it out on the pavement, flicking the butt into the bushes what made Ford exhale, relieved.
But the relief didnt last long.
Because week later, their dad does find out.
And Ford watches as his own twin, for all his bravado, gets actually scared. Ford hates that look. He hates it almost as much as he hates the sharp crack that follows.
Ford doesn’t like thinking about what happened next, doesn't like remembering the way Stan screamed. Doesn't like remembering how loud their father’s voice got, making the walls sh ake, how the belt cracked sharp as thunder, how Stan tried to act like it didnt carve its place into his skin.
But Ford remembers. He remembers the way Stan didn’t fight back, how he flinched at sudden movements for weeks. How he hissed through his teeth when he sat down too fast, and how he lit another cigarette anyway.
Ford opens his eyes. He's back in present now, back at the bus stop with you watching him with frustration in your eyes.
“Ford?”
He swallows, shakes his head, forces his thoughts back into place. He doesn't tell you any of that. “just. . . promise me you'll think about it.”
You groan again. “jesus, you sound like my dad.”
Ford flinches and wonders, distantly, if you notice. If you know what that comparison does to him.
“I told you, darling, when i want to stop i can,” you add, caressing his cheek.
He doesn't argue anymore, because he already knows that line. Heard it before. Millions of times. And he knows it's a lie.
***
Stanley Pines doesn't know what to do with kindness. Not the real kind, anyway, where someone takes him out, sits him down and actually pays for his meal as if some random knucklehead like him is worth the damn trouble.
He can't help it; he feels awkward because he is not used to people being nice to him. He's not used to much of anything, except scraping by, finding the next scam and eating cheap food out of plastic wrappers. So when you dragged him to the Gravity Falls diner, promising him a real warm meal, he was suspicious.
The waitress barely had time to finish setting down the menus before Stan barked out an order. “Burger, double. Extra fries. Chocolate milkshake. And gimme some bacon on the side.”
You're an idiot, he thought, the hell are you getting the money for all this?
Your brows shot up, but you didn’t say anything, just smiled and told the waitress to put it on one tab. That’s when Stan’s gaze snap s to you. “One tab? wait, you’re payin’?”
“Yeah, why not?” you answer casually, because it's not a big deal for you, but Stanley frowns.
“You sure about that? ‘cause, uh, i don’t exactly have, you know. . .” he trails off, scratching the back of his neck.
“It’s fine. Just eat, Stan.” and that’s what fucks him up. Because nobody’s ever wanted to spend their money on him before, not unless they were expecting something in return. But you just look at him with those soft, genuine eyes and tell him to shut up when he starts talking about returning money.
When the food arrives, Stanley attacks it like a man starved, which, honestly, he definitely is. The burger disappears in minutes, followed by the fries, then the bacon. Grease smears his chin and he doesn't even bother wiping it off, too busy slurping down his milkshake like his life depends on it. Not a single goddamn cru mb left. You swear he licked it. “Well, shit, if i knew you were gonna feed me like this, id have showed up beggin' at your door ages ago.”
You watch in both amusement and horror at the starved man in front of you, who barely stops to chew, talking with his mouth full .
“Yeah, yeah. You eat like a starving stray dog.”
That makes him choke on his milkshake, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, glaring at you while you laugh. “jesus, toots, the hell's that supposed to mean?”
“I mean,” you wave a vague hand, smirking. “you're scruffy, hungry all the time, you look at people like they might kick you if you get too close.”
“Hey, don't insult dogs like that.” He cuts in, effectively ending the conversation as he goes back to his food, shoveling another bite into his mouth.
“Damn, Stan, you wanna slow down before you choke?” you tease, propping your chin on your hand, watching him shoveling food into his mouth with the single-minded desperation of a man just let out if a cage.
Stan grunts, barely acknowledging you. “’s good.” you notice the ketchup on his cheek and chuckle.
“Yeah, i can tell.”
After couple of minutes, he finally pauses, chewing slower, he swallows hard and taps his finger on the table, avoiding eye contact with you. Leaning back with a groan and patting his stomach with one hand, Stan smears a little grease with other. He exhales, heavy. Then, as if realising how fucking feral he just looked, tries to play it off.
“Whew. Almost forgot what real food tastes like. Jail slop, y'know? Not that I've been to jail. Ha, kiddin.” he pauses and grins. “unless?”
Silence.
You stare at him, blinking. He watches your face, waiting for laugh or well, some kind of reaction that doesn't make him feel like a goddamn idiot , but you just look at him like. What. The fuck.
Stanley throws his hands up. “Okay, tough crowd. Coño. . .” he mutters the last word under his breath, shaking his head
“Was it Spanish?” your eyes perk. Stanley tenses , but you squint at him. “how do you know Spanish?”
“Uh, picked it up.”
“Picked it up where?”
“Places.”
“ Uh-huh, ” you lean forward. “cmon, teach me some.”
“Nah, i aint exactly fluent, sweetheart.” Stan laughs forced.
“But you sounded pretty fluent just now.”
“Yeah, well,” he rubs his neck. “i picked up the good words.”
You let it go, for now, because you notice the way his eyes dart and how how tries to make himself look just casual, enough for it to be convincing.
***
The dorm hallway was too bright and loud, full of students shuffling papers, setting up models and diagrams, nervously practicing their presentations to each other.
Ford stood off to the side, as always stiff and uneasy, shifting his weight from foot to foot, shoulders tight. His fingers fidgeted uselessly, six of them curling and uncurling.
The project was ready. The calculations were perfect. He should’ve felt confident.
Then why did he feel so out of place?
He scanned the room, seeing students, professors, familiar classmates. Goddamn. Ford hated how nervous he was, hated that his mind was half on the project, half on—
“G'mornin’” your lazy voice broke through the noise. “or, well, g’afternoon? god, what time is it?”
Ford turned. Oh, you were a mess with your hair wild, clothes rumpled, eyes heavy with sleep. A coffee cup dangled from your fingers, mostly empty. You yawned, covering your mouth halfheartedly.
Ford gave you a quick once-over, barely holding back a sigh. “you look— “
“Beautiful?” you grinned.
“like you rolled out of bed five minutes ago.”
“Aww, you noticed,” you laughed , stretching. Then, with absolutely no preamble, “so i fell down the stairs today.”
“What?” Ford raised his eyebrows.
“Yup, just,” you made a vague flailing motion with your hands. “ Wham, right down ‘em. It was very tragic. A true fall from grace. ”
You expected him to at least huff a laugh, maybe shake his head or give you that exasperated, fond sigh. But Ford didn’t. Instead, his brows drew together, and his eyes quickly swept over you, scanning for damage.
“Are you alright? do you need to see the nurse? You should’ve told me earlier.”
“ . . . you’re not laughing, ” you pointed out. “normally you at least try to pretend i’m funny.”
“You fell down the stairs, and you expect me to laugh?”
“Well, when you say it like that—“
“Are you hurt?”
That care, honestly, took you by surprise. “uh,” you looked down at yourself, then shrugged. “probably? i dunno, i was too tired to check. ”
Ford exhaled slowly, clearly trying not to engage, but you just kept going.
“Man, i am not ready for this presentation,” you groaned, rubbing your eyes. “seriously, i have no idea what i’m gonna say. But hey, i’d do anything for my two lovely nerds. even stand in front of a bunch of judgmental geniuses and pretend i know what i’m talking about. Right, Ford?”
Nothing.
“ . . . Ford?” you waved a hand in front of his blank face. Obviously, he wasn't listening, judging by how distant his gaze was, he was somewhere else entirely.
“Hellooo? Earth to Sixer?”
Ford blinked, snapping back. “What? Oh, sorry.”
You gave him a look. “man, you’re the one who’s supposed to be all focused and sharp. i m the one running on three hours of sleep and caffeine fumes.”
He barely heard you. “have you seen Fiddleford today?” Ford asked abruptly.
“What?” you paused.
“Fiddleford. Have you seen him?”
You frowned, thinking. “um. no? now that you mention it, i don’t think i have. But i just woke up like an hour ago, so last time i saw him was when we were working on the project. Why?”
Ford looked away and pursed his lips guiltily. “he said he was going for a walk. I remember he had a drink, said he’d be back. But he never—“
“You don’t think . . .?”
Ford shook his head quickly, Interrupting your thought. “ No. No, he’s fine. He’s probably just, well, late.”
But you both knew that wasn’t like him. Fiddleford was always there on time, cracking jokes and filling the space with his presence.
And now he wasn’t.
The noise of the hall seemed to fade. Ford exhaled sharply, shaking his head. He said your name, nervously slipping a textbook into your hands. “We should focus, he’ll show up.”
***
The ride to the shack is cool, winter sun setting earlier than youd like, same as always. Your dog is curled at your feet, eyes flicking back to Stan at the wheel. He grumbled about the fur at first but you can see it, he likes your dog, likes her a lot. He's just being difficult, pretending, putting up a front.
Stanley drives slowly, you don’t know if he always does, but right now, you wish he’d go faster. You want to see Ford as soon as possible.
But Stan doesn’t seem nearly as excited as you. There’s a knot of unease sitting somewhere inside him, but mostly, he just isn’t sure what to say when he finally sees his brother again.
“Hey, I’m bothering you again because I’ve got nowhere else to go?”
After a beat of silence, you glance at him. “you ever think about calling Ford before he called you?”
Stan's eyes are fixed on the road as he speaks, “thought about it. But i figured he’d just tell me to drop dead.”
“He wouldn’t.”
“Yeah?” he glances at you now , twisting his mouth. “pretty sure he told me worse when i got here.”
When you reach the shack, you knock. Wait.
No answer.
You knock again. Still nothing
Stan squints. “maybe he’s sleepin’.”
You huff, shifting your grip on the grocery bags. “actually, i lived here sometimes, so i’ll count it as my home too. And if Ford doesn’t wanna open the door for me, i’ll open it myself.”
Stan smirks. “yeah, that tracks.” but then his smirk fades as he narrows his eyes slightly. Lived here before.
You unlock the door, steeping inside and the first thing you notice is quiet the shack is
“Ford?” you call, but you don't get an answer.You exchange a worried glance with Stan. Ford seems nowhere to be seen.
“Should we be worried?”
“Nah,” Stan says, but he doesn’t sound convincing. “he's probably just. . .”
You step into his room and you see Ford sprawled out, dead asleep, hair a mess, glasses off. He's curled slightly inward, breathing deep and even, absolutely gone to the world.
Stan smiles. “Told ya he’s fine. Nerd just passed out.”
“I'm still worried, should we wake him? ”
Stan eyes his brother. “Nah, let him sleep. Dude probably hasn't in days.” he tells you, already leaving the room.
You nod slowly, still focused, studying Stanford's face. Okay, yeah, Stanley is right. You should let your poor n erd sleep. You turn, stepping back into the hall.
“You shouldn't have come back.”
And that makes you freeze as you quickly turn your head to the sound to see Ford sitting up. Staring at you, his eyes are open now, fixed on you.
You blink, thrown off, eyes flicking to the person sitting in front of you. Then, before you can think about it, you step forward, reach for his hand and—
Picture passes. Ford is still in bed, asleep.
You swallow. A slow, creeping dread curls in your chest. Who or what did you just see?
….
“Nerd looked bad. Needed sleep.”
That was the verdict. So you let Ford be.
“He always was a bad sleeper,” Stan grumbled, stepping past you, glancing around the shack, still having hard time getting used to it. “musta gotten worse over the years.”
Just let the man sleep. He'd wake up eventually.
You had to do something to keep yourself busy. Giving your dog a quick scratch behind the ears as you walked past, you figured she deserved a proper meal after all the traveling.
Stan, though, stayed behind and damn, it wasn't like he was snooping. Not really.
It was just this place felt weird.
He rubs the back of his neck, glancing around, taking in the clutter, the books, the walls covered in notes and sketches, and hell, even that weird curtain draped over the entire back wall like Ford is hiding some secret government operation. It's just. . . odd.
“Guess some things never change, huh, Sixer?” Stanley sighs. And that’s when his eyes accidentally land on the lighter what makes him tilt his head.
Since when did his goody-two-shoes, anti-smoking,'your-lungs-are-a-delicate-system-Stanford' brother have a lighter?
Stan picks it up, turning the little thing over in his hand. Metal. Decent weight.
Not some cheap thing, either.
He wants to call out to you, “hey, did you know Ford's got a lighter in here?” but he remembers, at the last second, that Ford is still dead asleep in the other room and screaming that loud would disturb him.
So instead, he just holds it, closing his fingers around it, turning it in his palm, flipping the lid open with a soft metallic click.
Weird.
Stanley's curiosity itches. So he looks around again, just in glance, just to make sure you aren't watching.
Then, his gaze drifts lower to the small pile of books near the armrest.
He chuckles. “Nerd books,” he tells himself, but his hand reaches down anyway.
One of them catches his eye. Heavy thing with a lot of pages.
Gravity's rainbow.
Oh yeah. He’d heard of that one.
Didn't seem like the kinda book Ford would normally read, though.
Stanley carelessly flips it open, barely glancing at the pages. Blah, blah, blah. Too many damn words for someone as impatient as him.
Suddenly, something slips out of page 69.
A bookmark?
Stan makes sure to catch it before it can land, brushing his fingers over the glossy surface before he turns it over.
Huh.
A photo.
It was you and his brother. From college, clearly, you both looked so much younger, holding some kinda trophy.
Some nerd award, Stan assumes.
Ford had that same awkward, stiff stance he always had in photos, but you looked too happy, excited, eyes shining. Laughing, hair a little windblown, standing too close to Ford, who had lipstick mark on his cheek.
What?
Stanley squints, fuck. . . he really needs to buy glasses.
You never really expect to see your nerdy brother like that. Looking. . . well, normal. Young. Happy.
Stan continues to stare. At Ford’s unsure smile. At your beaming one.
He turns the photo in his fingers again and glances toward the hallway where Ford is sleeping.
And then, a hand lands on his shoulder.
“Mierda!” Stanley jumps, nearly throwing the book across the room. He barely had time to shove the polaroid away before he turns, swearing under his breath, “por el amor de dios, you tryna give me a heart attack?”
You, startled, take a step back and raise your hands. “shit, sorry!” then your head tilts, “wait. Was that, was that Spanish again?”
Stan is still catching his breath, clutching at his chest like he just lost ten years off his life. “Si. Yeah.”
“What were you looking at?”
“Nothing.” Smooth, effortless. Completely unconvincing, but before you could say anything, his face twitches as he makes a sharp inhale through his teeth. “fucking hell.”
Your gaze drops to his shoulder, where your hand had landed.
A burn.
“Stan.” he swears he hears the shift in your tone before he even sees your expression. You reach forward, touching his arm again, but softer this time, brushing your fingers against the fabric of his jacket, near the burn. “You never treated it.”
Stan rolls his eyes. “it’s fine.”
“Bullshit. ”
“ It’s. . . oh, damn, it ain't like it's infected. ”
“That's not the point.” you pull, planting your hands on your hips. “you let it heal like that? No treatment at all?”
“Ain’t like I had a whole damn first-aid kit on me, sweetheart.”
You frown. “you could’ve at least—“
“It’s fine.”
And so it goes, the familiar dance of grumbling and resistance, before he finally gives in with a gruff and let you do your thing.
“Okay, fine. Fine. Do whatever.” he sighs, groaning, rubbing his face.
You mutter something about stupid stubborn men under your breath before reaching for the first aid kit on the nearby shelf.
But before you could even open it you hear your dog growling low what made your head snap toward her. She’s staring at the hallway that leads toward the front of the shack.
“Aww, shit.” you hear Stan say.
“What?”
He gestures toward the hallway. “you got ghosts in here, too?”
You give him a look, but your dog won't stop growling and that's when your eyes widen because you just hear the front door creaking slowly. Next thing you feel is a gust of cold air sweeping through the room.
Stan turns, the door is open what made fresh snow carry inside, dusting the floor in uneven patches.
You and him stare at it, realising that neither of you had opened that door.
After a long pause, Stan walks over and slams it shut, clicking the lock in place.
Then turning back to you with annoyed face, “so, anyway, how the hell is everyone in this town so damn weird?”
“What?” Stan plops back down next to you.
“i mean, you know,” he gestures, winces a little when the motion tugs his injured shoulder. “this place. Gravity falls. It’s weird. Fuckin’ weird. Like,” he tilts his head, looking at you, squinting. “theres so much paranormal weird shit here, and i aint even talking about my brother.”
“Now you sound paranoid.”
“See? That’s what i mean!” he points at you, triumphant. “exactly what i’m talking about! Everyone’s just, like, casually fine with all the weird shit, but if you point it out, suddenly you’re the crazy one. ”
As you work, carefully dabbing at the burn, he hisses through his teeth, every touch of yours is met with some kind of protest or mumbled curse or half-hearted complaint.
“You’re a goddamn baby.”
“And you’re a goddamn sadi—“ he doesn't have time to finish as he gasps dramatically again, throwing his head back like you just putted him through the worst pain imaginable.
“Oh, quit it.”
“Quit what?”
“Acting like you’re getting tortured.”
“Hey, you don’t know, you could be really bad at this.”
You press the gauze down harder, and Stanley hisses, jerking away.
“Fuck, watch it, would ya?”
“Oh, sorry, am i hurting you?” you deadpan. “maybe if you’d taken care of this in the first place, it wouldn’t be such a problem.”
“It ain’t a problem—“
“Oh, no, of course not,” you cut in, rolling your eyes. “burns are fine. Totally normal to just leave them alone and hope they magically heal on their own.”
“I was busy.”
“Busy being dumb?”
“Oh, fuck that, really,” he says flatly before he looks away.
You sigh through your nose, gentler this time as you go back to work, cleaning his burn around the edges. Stan's eyes flick to the coffee table and he remembers the lighter he’d found earlier.
“So, since when does Sixer smoke?”
You stop, freezing.
Stanley raises an eyebrow, watching the way your whole body goes rigid. “what?” he drawls. “hit a nerve?”
“Ford doesn’t smoke.”
“Yeah? that his lighter, then?” he gives you a look, nodding toward the thing. Wait. . . The realization hitting you. Fuck. You’d left it here? At Ford’s? “found that lying around. And i know that stick-in-the-mud was always on my ass about it, so unless he suddenly decided to turn into the marlboro man—“
You swallow. “no.”
“Huh.” his smirk widens. “so you’re tellin’ me— “
You scowl. “it’s mine, okay? I used to, but i’m trying to quit.”
After a beat of silence Stanley bursts into shameless laughter.
You glare at him. “what the fuck is so funny?”
“Oh my god,” he wheezes, slapping his knee. “holy shit, lemme guess, did Poindexter give you the whole ‘your lungs will rot’ speech? Went full psa mode?”
Your scowl deepens. “so what if he did?”
“No , no—” he’s still laughing, wiping at his eyes. “it’s just, you sound exactly like me when i was like twelve. Swear to god. He gave me the same fuckin’ speech. Like, word for word. Bet he even did the disappointed sigh.”
“He just cared,” you admit, looking away. “cared about my well-being. I used to think the same as yo u, that he was just being a nerd. But, y’know. Some things never change.”
That shuts Stanley up. So you use that moment when he seems to think or remember something, and clear your throat. “anyway, since you’re his brother, i wanted to ask you something.”
“Shoot.”
“Was he always like this?”
“Like what?”
“You know. Paranoid. Weird. Off.”
He gives you a look. “uh, i met the guy for the first time in ten years, like, yesterday.”
“Oh. Right.”
Stanley scratches his chin. “but, i mean, i dunno. When we were kids, he was always kinda anxious. Worried about grades, the future, that kinda shit.”
“Yeah. He was the same in college.” you nod, something clicking into place.
You fall silent, rubbing your chin, thinking. If even Stanley, his own twin brother, has no idea what’s going on with Ford, then who does? Who the hell would know what happened to make him like this?
There had to be someone. Someone who saw him a lot during those years, who knew what changed, who was here when that happened. Who knew what had made him—
Your eyes widen.
“Fiddleford.”
“Who?”
“Fiddleford. Fiddleford McGucket. Our good friend and Ford’s old lab assistant, he quit before everything went to hell, but if anyone knows what’s up with him now, it’s him.”
Stan stares at you. Then his entire body shook with laughter.
Ignoring that, you snap your fingers as smile appears on your face. “right! he should know!” you look at Stan, pausing. “what?”
“Fiddleford,” he repeats, grinning widely. “holy shit, that’s his real name?”
You cross your arms. “Yeah?”
“That’s fucking hilarious.” he shakes his head. “Ford and fiddle. Jesus.”
You shoot him a glare. “are you done?”
“Nah, nah, i need a second,” he chuckles, wiping his eyes. “Fiddleford. God.”
You ignore that dumbass, grabbing the phone, its rotary dial familiar under your fingers. You dial the number, tapping your fingers against the table, pressing it to your ear as the static hum of the line comes to life.
“Hello?”
The voice on the other end is unmistakable and it makes you smile, hearing your friend again.
“Fidds , it’s me,” you name yourself.
There’s a pause. Then, carefully, he repeats your name.
“Yeah! listen, i know you said you wanted to forget whatever happened when you were working with Ford, but—”
You don’t get to finish, because across from you, Stanley starts laughing again, shaking his head like he just can��t believe what he’s hearing.
You glare at him.
“Fiddleford,” he says under his breath, wheezing. “holy shit!”
You roll your eyes, bringing the phone back to your ear. “so, anyway— “
“Wait, wait, hold on,” Fiddleford cuts in, confused. “who’s that?”
Stanley, still grinning, leans in toward the receiver and says, loud as hell: “your parents named you what?!”
“Who in the sam hill is laughin’ at my name?!”
You turn away from Stan, pushing him. “ignore him.”
“Who’s laughin’?”
“Nobody.”
“I'm gonna die. Man, your name is awesome. And here i thought my parents had zero imagination.”
“Uh,” Fiddleford sounds even more confused.
“Don’t listen to him.”
But Stan just keeps laughing. “Nah, seriously, what kinda— “
You hear Fiddleford's voice going defensive. “now listen here, i’ll have you know Fiddleford’s a perfectly respectable name—”
You sigh, rubbing at your temple. Jesus christ. This was gonna be a long conversation.
Ford sleeps like the dead, the weight of exhaustion so complete that he might as well be a corpse until his chest lurches followed by painful gasp, his whole body jerking upright, pulling him back into the waking world.
His breath is coming too fast and shallow and Ford can't quite catch it. His heart is beating as if it wants to burst out, no longer belonging in his body. Cold sweat clings to his skin, dampening the sheets beneath him.
Another fucking nightmare.
Ford drags a hand down his face, through his hair. Inhales slow, exhales slower and forces himself to move.
The floor is cold when his bare feet touch it, but even that doesn't ground him, reminding him that he’s here, in the Shack, with him watching his every move.
He needs water, so he stumbles towards the door until he steps on something that makes too loud a sound.
Squeak.
Ford looks down.
A dog toy, a bright, rubbery, ridiculous thing, right there beneath his heel.
Oh he knows what it means. Happened quite a lot. You're here. And you brought your dog.
Ford sighs. Deeply. He sets the toy down on his desk and finally steps out into the hallway.
He hears your voice, unmistakable, and Stanley’s.
And then he hears a voice he hasn’t heard in a long, long time.
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Guess who passed the Learners Permit Test today!
It me. I am the one who passed the learners permit test today. I'm the (monitored) monster that's been set rampant (on a leash) on small-town America,
but when I do get my official driver's license, hoo boy, watch out world here I are (imma star lmao)
Gonna schedule an appointment for my road skills test 30 days from now and get my official drivers license.
#Yoooooo#Not gonna lie I feel really accomplished#I was so afraid of failing that test. that it prevented me from even trying for 3 years#And then I did a real crap inconsistent job at studying these past two weeks that I did most of my studies yesterday and this morning#And then I thought#If I real dress nice I'll have no choice but to pass because I'm recognizable and it be embarrassing if they said oh yeah we know u#This is ur 3nd attempt (infallible logic I know)#I just got my 2 1099 forms in the mail like 3 days ago and man that is perfect timing cuz with those two forms and my state ID#I have everything I need for my id ssn & resident proofs#What perfect timing cuz I lost my other typical documents#I think fate is telling me im meant to actually pass the test#Then while I was studying (reading through the book for a second time) I said huh this stuff ain't so hard to remember seems pretty upfront#I think going to pass this time#Then I started talking to my “social” circle (3 ppl) of when I get my permit#Super important note there I kept saying when. Not if. When. I honestly 100 percent believed that I could not fail this test#I took some online test online via websites and YouTube last night and “passed” those#And this morning I read a third of the handbook they gave me 3 yrs ago.#So I get there#First thing they do is take my pic#Which really stood out to me because they 100 % expected me to pass because they were preparing for my permit ID#Last time I tried they did not do that#To say that I was nervous was an understatement#I was shaking like a freaking leaf in a hurricane alright#I'm SWEATING#cuz of how nervous I was#Yes a full grownass adult in the twenties is stupidly nervous for a simple goddamn permit test#But I did absolutely know that I was going to pass#So I go in take the test (very nerve racking cuz doubt crept in when I got 3 answers wrong) and i ended up gettting a 22/25 score.#The relief I felt was astonishing#Actually thinking that I know something AND it turns out IM RIGHT?!?
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umblrspectrum · 2 months ago
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happy solvermas
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arsenicflame · 8 months ago
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days. 
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps. 
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede. 
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before. 
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!” 
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar-  It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo. 
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before. 
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
#Despite what this post may imply; i actually know very little about the art of leatherwork#Im also not saying Stede got into leatherwork because of his repressed leather kink. But im not not saying that.#(This is not to say that i personally think leather gear is boring- i totally see the beauty in simple/plain designs & i get that the#style is all about the look of straps and hardware. but also. i know in my heart Edward ‘likes a fine thing’ Teach would be head over heels#for fun unique pieces. Its the whimsy of it all)#(not to turn this into OFMD meta but. You can like both; in fact. You can have the leather AND you can have the florals)#ALSO. dont ask me why izzy would find a big difference between wearing gear on the float vs the stand. it just felt right#(ok i do have reasoning. its the directness of it. in the parade its very part-of-a-crowd; every interaction in passing. running the stand#is direct interactions + they are specifically looking at Him. it feels different. but he does it because he loves his partners)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#israel hands#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#gentlehands#stizzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#steddyhands#fanfic#sort of... i dont really consider this fic; more. scenario description but ill admit this ended up way closer to fic than i planned#but the weird stylistic choices are because. this wasnt intended as fully fleshed out fic.#i am not a writer & i dont want to be. im just a guy with ideas over here; and the best way to share ideas is through words#(Please dont count the commas per sentence ratio. Thats between me & god)#also. I cant believe i wrote something that can be tagged as gentlebeard centric. Who am i.
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good-beanswrites · 3 months ago
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john x fuuta ?👉👈 or 090309
I love the dynamic between them all, thank you for the request! I went with an earlier meeting for them (well, one of the first times Fuuta's aware of speaking with John, at least). As much as I joke about Fuuta being starstruck by his strength in the attack, I tried to take a more serious route for the "something to rely on" vibe.
John’s eyes flicked over Fuuta, sprawled out on his bedding and looking up expectantly.
“Man, you look like shit.”
Fuuta scowled deeper. “I asked for the reason you’re here in the middle of the fucking night, not your opinion.”
“That is the reason I came.”
Somehow, amid all the other things he had to worry about given the horror of the past few days and exile that followed, Mikoto had still found the time to lose sleep over Fuuta’s condition. John had always liked the guy, but he wasn’t in the business of watching over people he didn’t truly care about. He didn’t know what Mikoto saw in him to cause such an overreaction.
Though, with the futon dragged to the bars of the cell, and bathing him in the dim light of the guard’s tower, it was becoming clear that Mikoto’s concern was indeed warranted. Fuuta appeared deathly. The fresh injuries had been bandaged, but there were stains where blood was beginning to seep through. His eye – the one that had survived the ordeal – was bloodshot and rimmed with dark bags. His hair was as tangled as the rumpled hoodie it poked out of.
Fuuta was still staring in anticipation. It took John a moment to understand why. 
“You recognize me.”
“No shit. Mikoto came in here like a fumbling idiot earlier today. He wanted to make sure I was okay or whatever. Like I’d be okay after what happened!” He paused, a clanging from someone else’s cell briefly distracting him. “But you… the way you carry yourself… it’s different.”
“Not that different. I’m here for the same reason.”
The plan was simple. Once Fuuta slept, Mikoto would relax, and everyone would be happy. If it turned out to be his injuries keeping him awake, John didn’t mind crushing Fuuta’s pride and explaining his weakness to the doctor to get more painkillers. If it was noisy neighbors, he’d teach one of those girls a lesson the following day. If the problem was just plain insomnia, well, John’s swinging arm was still completely functional...
“I just want to make sure you’re sleeping.”
“Don’t tell me you’re as disgustingly sentimental as him.”
John’s expression twitched. He didn’t appreciate the condescension. That was Mikoto’s most admirable trait, after all – offering help to others even when he was falling apart himself. He was so selfless, so self-sacrificial. It was no wonder John felt compelled to do the same for him. But Fuuta…
“Ugh, he’s always trying to be buddy-buddy with everyone around here, it makes me sick. Nice words don’t do shit. Look where his friendship with Kotoko got him, eh? That’s what these fools still don’t understand – you need to face these things head-on.”
“Oi, don’t be hard on me just for caring.” He didn’t say it as any sort of gentle encouragement; it was a command, and Fuuta understood. He snapped his attention away from where he’d been peering around the bars. “The world needs more people with that kindness. That optimistic view of life, of others, no matter what – it’s why I’ll do everything I can to save me.”
Silence stretched after the intense comment. Fuuta was looking away again, and John couldn’t read him. When he did speak, his voice came out more defeated than expected.
“Tch. Well. Not all of us have that luxury.”
“Of what?”
“Of you.”
His eyebrows raised.
Cheeks reddening, Fuuta hurried to add, “I mean someone to have your back like that. I wish I could be half as relaxed as that, but I can’t afford to let my guard down. I need to be strong myself, I don’t have anyone else to take care of my problems for me.”
It hit him suddenly, that everything came down to that. Relief washed over him, now that a clear, easy, (and nonviolent) solution had presented itself.
“What if you did? I could take over your little sentry duty for the night.”
“W-what do you –?”
He gestured to where Fuuta was laying. “No need to play dumb. You’ve been keeping an eye on everything, even the other side of the guard’s tower. The sounds from around cell eight have caught your attention. You’re positioned so you can see cell six, but haven’t moved all the way over, because cell ten has easiest access from the right.”
“The others would say it’s pointless, or that they’re handling it. I’m not buying it, though. I don’t care if they say it’s crazy of me to do.”
“I think…” John’s posture softened. “I think it’s very selfless of you.”
He was constantly amazed at Fuuta’s tendency to react to everything as if it were some world-shattering statement just told to him.
“So?” He prodded before Fuuta’s expression could grow any more wide-eyed. “How about it?”
 “I mean… they told me about the attacks… what you did…”
John set his jaw. No matter how many times it had happened in the past few days, it still stung to see how quickly people turned against him because of the fight. He thought they all had come to terms with each other’s capabilities for violence, but as usual, the moment he showed his true face, the world turned against him.
Of course Fuuta could never relax knowing such a violent and unpredictable person was sitting right beside him through the night. It was a miracle he hadn’t panicked immediately at the sight of yet another cold, towering figure appearing at his door in the middle of the night.
John stretched his right arm across his chest. It looked like his original solution still stood. Fuuta said problems should be faced head-on. Surely he’d understand this was for his own good.
“…Yeah, okay.” Fuuta gave a decisive nod. He beckoned with a jerk of his head. “I trust you.”
“I –” John blinked. “What?”
“You understand me. You understand what it takes to be in a place like this.” His gaze flit away momentarily. “You’re incredibly strong. You’re prepared, and have good instincts, and your confidence is –" Noticing how intently John was listening, he interrupted himself to bark, “but don’t think I couldn’t handle this on my own! It’s only because you offered, and it’s a smart move. I’ll just sleep for a bit, we can take shifts. Wake me in three hours, okay?”
“Fine by me.” A little lying was definitely better than what else he’d had in mind.
Fuuta moved his futon over a few feet so John could settle into his carefully chosen spot on the ground. Everything was all set to begin keeping watch, until a new sound rose up to drown out the other noises in the panopticon – soft snoring from beside him.
He glanced over in disbelief at the instantaneous security Fuuta had sunk into. All the tension had melted away from his face and shoulders. He lay completely at peace.
John had achieved his goal. He should be celebrating. Instead, he couldn’t help heaving a heavy sigh.
How did he end up with two self-destructive idiots to watch over?
#milgram#john milgram#fuuta kajiyama#0309#030909#mikoto is mentioned to care deeply for fuuta but not tagging him#ive had this idea forever and it was so difficult putting it into a concise flow for some reason? so im super happy with how it came out!#originally i wanted actual dialogue about it being their first meeting but it took the focus too off topic#i imagine john has fronted before without anyone knowing he was watching and learning about them#fuuta would be freaking out about that being creepy and rude (isnt it polite to introduce yourself when you first meet someone?)#but john was glad for fuutas treatment back then#(and he also reminds fuuta that his own 'watching others from the safety of anonymity' habits werent that different...)#i know i wrote this as a change in johns mind about fuuta but i like the thought that he came in the first place because he already cared#then seeing how much fuuta trusts him (especially after everyone - including mikoto himself - turns against him) really makes him fall hard#also the fact that fuuta is the only one to see his strength as something helpful instead of scary#in my original draft john comes right at the curfew bell and locks himself into fuutas cell much to his dismay#but the cells locking got rid of the point of the fic lmao so fuuta had to be a little nicer in this version and let him stay willingly 😂#i liked the very purposeful show of trust though <3#i also love how much they relate to one another#john thinks fuuta has to deal with the same issues as him but also thinks he and mikoto are very similar in their care for others#mikoto thinks john and fuuta are similar in their approach to problems and communication and protection#meanwhile fuuta believes hes more like john when in reality hes more like mikoto - leading him to connect well with both#anyway sorry for rambling asdfsdf i hope you enjoyed! thanks for the ask!!#drabbles
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megumi-fm · 10 months ago
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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leori-the-unlearned · 2 months ago
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the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3
the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*
#keyword: adding#in digimon conflicts come about as a result of independent viewpoint differences#ie takuya vs kouji. taichi vs yamato#or (since i just watched 02:the beginning) lui and ukkomon’s conflict is SO GOOD#it BUILDS to something. lui and ukkomon’s disagreement builds up to: they need to communicate. they both come from a good-faith angle#ukkomon so desperately wanted to make lui happy and failed to look closer to see what WOULD - and lui didn’t know how to express#what he actually wanted to ukkomon. or try to reach out to ukkomon in turn instead of basking in his life finally going ‘right’#but then not as much in idw gives me that good feeling of ‘ahhh they built to this and it is so nice’#or when conflict is created it isn’t because despite best efforts people clash and have to work together#it’s when someone does a stupid and someone else has to pick it up#it means a lot when you see kouji driven to press takuya to the wall and see them shout at each other#because they both have to realize that with words they will never convince the other of their viewpoint.#even though they both think the way the other looks at things will get the group killed#and of course it makes sense that the group would follow takuya. he’s their heart. their core#takuya’s the reason tomoki stayed in the digital world and junpei and izumi find confidence being there because he’s there rallying them#and in this case that good trait winds up being wrong. he gets everyone captured by the enemy and thinks theyre all better off if he wasn’t#part of the group from the start. but THAT isn’t true either - he just needs a BALANCE of his excellent helpful determination and willpower#and seeing things as they are and not as he believes them to be - more like kouji#he WAS wrong but not for HAVING the traits he had - for leaning too much on them#or (also going to a media im currently engaging in) sundered star. things go bad between people a LOT but it’s not frustrating.#it’s SATISFYING/ENGAGING seeing feferi leave eridan and watching eridan go insane and give in to the horrorterrors. of course it couldnt-#-go any other way for them. eridan wouldnt change until he realized he could lose feferi and feferi wouldnt bring him any real consequences#-to make him consider that until she was leaving and would never come back. and it was never her fault that leaving eridan lead to-#-catastrophe and devastation. it just happened as a consequence anyway#anyways i guess. if i see the characters do their best and things still fall apart it’s better than#seeing an idiot plot or characters written to be worse than they were to make conflict happen#with takuya he wasn’t suddenly bad or misjudging everything. he just didnt have to deal with negative consequences for misjudging before-#-because they hadnt met someone like duskmon that they COULDNT eventually beat before. even gigasmon who wrecked them all at first-#-was beaten once they had beast spirits and were on equal footing. so takuya assumes the same for duskmon without realizing that#they arent on the same level. so the issue didnt come from nowhere - it just comes to a head now
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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 year ago
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It's 11pm so I know this is influencing my feelings but. make it make sense, no one in this household has beef with me bc 1) I'm never home and 2) I ingratiate myself with everyone so everyone thinks I'm on their side, when in actuality I can't stand any of them. What I am witnessing has me developing more bitterness for other people than my year and a half of customer service has done. Not one person here has a functioning brain and yet expect me to feel pity. To reach out.
Leave.
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elegyofthemoon · 1 year ago
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Sorry, but I saw your comment about how Gepard is in that piece like Serval's shield, and I guess you mean in general how that's the role he has as the captain of the Silvermane guards and how that's the role he tried to get to get "even" with Serval due to childhood, but also... The fact that at the same time Serval is still literally his shield? That always makes me soooo ajfkabfksndjd when it comes to them and their dynamic.
DONT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THIS IM TRYING TO COOL OFF LMAO
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time-was-over · 2 days ago
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i feel like i’m dying. like the insides of my soul are sloughing off and im so fucking alooone it’s agonizing
#🕰️#also the friend i was going on a date with cancelled because they’re going to a funeral#which logically i Know isn’t because of me. that is hurtful to think but there’s a part of me that’s like You’re fucking dumb for thinking#nyone would actually want to do that. you idiot. you fucking fool. you moron. i know logically and from experience that they wouldn’t cance#if they didn’t have a funeral. or they might. who knows! i need to give them the benefit of the doubt but it’s weird because what i know is#logically true is butting heads with But What If They Actually Hate Me And They Didn’t Want To Go On A Date In The First Place#from past experience i know that this thought pattern breeds resentment. i Know that this will drive a rift in between us over something st#pid if i let it fester. they Don’t hate me. they actually want to spend time with me but there’s a little guy in my brain going But wouldn’#it fucking suck if it actually turned out that they secretly hate you just like you think everyone secretly hates you and i’m like SHUT UPP#my knowledge of what is true and real vs my ever-present desire to be fucking miserable. because that’s all i know how to be#and to top everything off i’m a disappointment to everyone Especially myself and a giant arrogant asshole with the world’s most fragile ego#and a deep seated desire to be the Greatest and Bestest ever because if i’m not then i’m nothing. <- that’s why i’m crashing right now btw#no wonder why nobody takes me seriously and acts like i’m fucking stupid and useless. it’s just because i am.#OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING AGAIN. FULL CIRCLE. ITS THE ‘I KNOW THIS ISNT TRUE BUT WHY DO I THINK THIS.’#Okay. Okay!!!!!!#you didn’t see it but i just deleted a tag that was me about to go into another rant.#i need to calm down. i need to callllllm down. my brain is ripping itself apart#vent#sorry i feel really really really awful right now. im going to try not to do anything to myself. im going to try.#edit yeah they just don’t want to. Yeah
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