#AT CHUUYA WHEN THEY WERE FIFTEEN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

osarina · 3 days

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ᡣ𐭩 THE GROUND FINDS ITS BRUTAL WAY TO ME

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: the moment you've been dreading has finally arrived—there's no turning back now.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: GOOOOOOOOD EVENING LOVEBUGS, HAPPY FRIDAY!!! anyway i hope you guys are excited for this chapter because i AM chapter seven through nine is the reason i started writing this fic, it all goes downhill from here HAHAHAHAHAHAH JKKKKKKK kind of BUT ANYWAY i hope you guys enjoyed, im having the time of my life writing this chapter and the other upcoming ones. im so excited for you guys to read chapter 9 actually and the end of chapter 8, it's gonna be soooo good i swear. anyway!! reblogs and comments greatly appreciated as always!! ENJOY heheh!

GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited - i've been busy. MAFIA BUSINESS. rather graphic depictions of violence. character death (not anyone major). mentions of human/child trafficking. depictions of dissociation. i used a bit of creative liberty with the depictions of lovecraft, corruption (here in particular), and yosano's ability.

ANOTHER THING TO NOTE: our lovely reader IS A MAFIA EXECUTIVE !! as a port mafia executive, she does port mafia things, this will become very apparent in this chapter and the rest of the upcoming chapters. it hasn't been as apparent in the past few, so it might be a bit jarring to read (especially when we get to chapter 9) but it is something to keep in mind. additionally, she is FLAWED and that is very apparent with how she acts with a certain member of the ada. i wanted to add this warning just to give you all a bit of a heads up.

SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST

Your foot presses the pedal against the floor as you race down the backstreets of the Kanagawa prefecture. Dazai has been trying to talk to you but you can’t even bring yourself to respond to him. You try but you’re incapable of pushing any words past your lips. He asks you where you’re going and your lips part to tell him but you can’t. He asks you if you’re okay and you try to say ‘I don’t know’ but all that escapes you is a shaky breath. He asks you what’s going on but your mind is on the brink of collapse.

You’re not going to get there in time.

You can hardly keep your eyes on the road and at the speed you’re going, you know you can’t afford to look away. But you can’t stop yourself from looking down at your phone, throat clogged with fear as you wait to see if Chuuya sends another text. You told him not to, told him to wait but he hasn’t even read your text, doesn’t know that you weren’t in Yokohama when he was about to use Corruption.

If he used Corruption as soon as he texted you thinking that you were in the area… it’s already been fifteen minutes. Chuuya has never used Corruption longer than five. He’d be ash and bone by the time you get there if he already activated it. You’re still at least ten minutes away from where he pinned his location even at the speed you’re going.

“Fuck,” you whisper, slamming your hand against the wheel as you urge the car to go faster, watching the speedometer wobble in the red zone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Can you talk to me at least?” Dazai tries again, sounding frustrated. “What’s going on? Why did we have to rush out of the beach house?”

You don’t even know why Dazai is with you.

Well, that’s not true. You know exactly why Dazai is with you. There’s a sick feeling in your gut that leads you to believe that the Guild might know about Dazai already and if that’s the case, you can’t leave him alone at the beach house. You don’t think the Guild would have planned such a blatant attack on the Port Mafia without ulterior motives and with even the smallest reason to believe that their primary goal might be getting their hands on Dazai to back you into a corner… You just can’t risk it.

But you’re risking bringing him to a battlefield where Chuuya might have activated Corruption. You try to convince yourself that he’s safer at your side than he is alone but… is that even true? Chuuya under the effects of Corruption is unpredictable and destructive, you can’t ensure his safety—you can’t even ensure your own. Every time he goes into Corruption, it’s both his life and yours that are most at risk, it’s why he rarely lets himself use it even when in trouble, so that’s how you know things must be bad.

“You’re not going to get wherever you’re trying to get to if you crash the car into a tree,” Dazai says airly, still irritated from how he’s side-eyeing you but none too bothered by the speed you’re racing down windy streets. “How about you slow down and tell me what’s going on?”

You let out a sharp puff of air. You don’t slow down, but you do force yourself to speak.

“Chuuya is in trouble. Bad trouble,” you finally say tightly. “The Guild… They launched an attack. I don’t… he might already be dead for all I know. I have to get to him—couldn’t leave you alone in case…”

“In case the attack was just a distraction to try to get to me?” Dazai finishes for you—as always, too quick and perceptive for a random college student. “Shouldn’t you try to figure out a game plan before, I don’t know, rushing head first into what might be a trap?”

He’s far too sarcastic for your liking. You give him a cold look and to his credit, he does back down for the most part, but he’s still waiting for a response from you.

“I have a plan,” you finally say, gnawing at the inside of your cheek. “I just…”

Need to know the situation. If Chuuya has already activated Corruption, you need to get to him as soon as possible. If Chuuya is dead, you need to figure out which other members of the Mafia are around so you can figure out how to deal with the remaining enemy—although if they killed Chuuya, your chances of winning are bleak. If Chuuya is still alive and hasn’t activated Corruption, you need to figure out the best course of action to take to prevent him from having to activate it. Without knowing the situation, you might as well be walking blind into a lion’s den.

“What do you need me to do?” Dazai asks quietly.

“Stay out of the way,” you say too sharply. Your eyes flit to the side when Dazai winces and shifts back a bit, slowing down just a little to remove one hand from the wheel to grab his and squeeze it gently. “The Flags should be there too… At least Albatross, Iceman and Piano Man… Doc is probably off the field waiting for injuries. You know Albatross—he was the one with me at your apartment and in mine the day you came over while I was drunk—get to him, he’ll bring you to wherever Doc is. If you can’t get to him, Klaus and Akutagawa are on their way… might be there already, get to one of them and they’ll get you somewhere safer.”

Dazai doesn’t look pleased by your directives but he nods.

“What if… what if I can’t get to anybody?” he questions hesitantly after a few moments.

Your eyes meet his for a split second before you let out a heavy breath. You don’t really want to consider what to do if he can’t get to someone because that means he’ll be in much more danger than you’re willing to accept. After a few moments, you nod to the glove box, watching from the corner of your eye as he opens it and freezes up a bit when he sees the gun inside.

“Only use it if you have to,” you tell him quietly, “and if you have to use it…”

Aim for the head, you want to say, but you can’t push the words out because fuck, what have you dragged him into? A few months ago, his biggest problem was figuring out what he was going to use as inspiration for his fucking writing workshop project and now you’re telling him to shoot to kill if someone comes after him while he’s alone and vulnerable.

Chuuya was right. Chuuya was right and you’re a goddamn fool for not listening to him. You should have cut Dazai off right away, right when you realized things were going too far, you never should have let this happen. You knew better.

You knew better.

“I’ll do what I have to.” Dazai nods, throat bobbing as he keeps a steady face, clearly trying to make himself seem unbothered when he sees how distressed you are. You watch as he fumbles to click off the safety of the gun. “It’s okay.”

“You won’t have to do anything,” you say tightly, gaze snapping to the side when ground beneath the car shakes violently and a loud crashing noise comes from the left. Your eyes focus on a dirt path leading deeper into the forests on the outskirts of the Kanagawa prefecture and grimace before taking a sharp left. “But keep it on you just in case.”

Dazai nods, letting out a long breath, dark eyes darting around nervously as you turn off the car’s headlights to continue down the dirt road more inconspicuously. You don’t get more than half a mile before you have to pull over onto the side of the road when you hear fighting in the distance—explosive and dangerous. You stop Dazai before he opens the door to get out of the car and he looks at you curiously, waiting to see what you have to say.

For a moment, you contemplate telling him to wait in the car for you but you can’t, because if anyone happens upon the car then he’ll be alone and vulnerable. So, instead, you reach forward and cup his cheek. His lashes flutter as he leans into your touch and you run your thumb along his cheekbone, watching him with a heavy feeling in your chest.

This is all your fault.

You brought him into this life.

You let them back you into a corner like this.

You ruined his life.

It’s all your fault. You let this happen.

“Get to Albatross,” you say, hating the way your voice cracks. “To Albatross, or Iceman, or Piano Man. Get to one of them and let them get you out of here, okay?”

He nods, keeping his face pressed to your hand as he looks up at you through his lashes. “I will.”

“Doc will probably be three miles out from where the combat is taking place. Whoever you get to—the two of you will head there on foot, they’ll tell you what to do and make sure there’s no one tailing you guys, but you’ll have to be quick.”

Dazai gives you a small, wavering smile. “I almost failed my phys ed class in high school because I couldn’t complete the mile fast enough.”

You snort. “I can’t believe you actually just admitted that out loud.”

Dazai smiles sweetly and then says, “Kiss me before we go?”

Your lips curve up gently as you lean in to press your lips against his. You feel him let out a soft, pleased sigh but even with your lips moving slowly against each other, you can’t help but feel the dread build more and more in your chest.

You pull back to look him in the eyes again as you whisper, “Be careful.”

“No you,” Dazai says with a simpering smile as he leans in so he can brush his nose against yours. For a moment, he looks as if he wants to say something but then he seals his lips shut and gives you another soft smile.

I’m sorry, you want to say but the words just don’t come out. You think Dazai must know what you’re trying to say from the way he squeezes your hand. It’s all too soon and all too long before you push yourself away from him and step out of the car.

The brisk early morning air is almost uncomfortable as you breathe it in. You usually find it refreshing—you like the morning, you’re always more productive at dawn even if most nights you find yourself up until the moon sets in the west trying to get work done. But now, you only find discomfort, a tight feeling in your chest and a prickly feeling across your skin. Your hair stands on end as you reach for the gun holstered at your side, flicking off the safety as Dazai comes to stand next to you.

“Stay behind me,” you tell him quietly.

You can hear the fighting in the near-distance. Can feel it. You can hear the sounds of gunshots and people yelling, some voices you recognize as the Flags and others you don’t recognize at all. The ground is shaking—undoubtedly proof of Chuuya using his ability and you can only let out a sigh of relief now, realizing that he must not have activated Corruption yet.

If he had, the entire forest would be obliterated.

You motion for Dazai to follow you. He’s light on his feet—lighter than you expected from a twenty two year old college student—he’s careful not to step on any twigs and stays close behind you, each step finding where yours had lifted from the ground as soon as you move from it.

You make your way in the direction of the shouting and fighting. Every step forward leaves you more and more ridden with dread—your feet feel heavy like weights are holding you down, your mouth feels like it’s filled with ash. You should be moving faster than you are—your friends, Chuuya, they’re in danger but… but the closer you get, the closer Dazai is to danger.

What are you doing? You think desperately. What are you doing?

You doubt yourself.

You doubt yourself so much that a part of you deep down wants to turn on your heel and drag Dazai back to safety, out of danger, out of this shitty forest, out of your life. It’s not worth it—your happiness isn’t worth his life. He’s convinced himself that he cares about you, that he needs you, that you make him happy but you know it’s not true. You know it’s just your ability at work.

But it’s too late now.

The distant shouts have become near—you see Albatross, Piano Man, and Iceman all crouched beneath rubble, grimacing as they dodge… you don’t know what they’re dodging and quite frankly, you don’t think you want to know but you don’t think you’re going to have a choice.

You don’t even spare a look to the battlefield, reaching back to grab Dazai’s wrist so you can drag him in front of you, pressing your hand to his lower back to make him move faster. You only just barely get him down beneath the metal that the three Flags are using as cover before another… thing (a tentacle?) is snapping out toward you—luckily, Iceman is quick to the draw as always and prevents it from taking off your head.

Piano Man yanks Dazai closer to him, away from the edge of the rubble, and Albatross wraps an arm around your waist with a wild smile. “There ya are, dollface, we’ve been waiting on you.”

Your eyes linger on Dazai for a split second, seeing the wide-eyed expression on his face and how his knuckles are white around the grip of the gun you gave him. The guilt claws to your throat again but you force it away as you focus your attention on Albatross.

“Tell me the situation,” you say, voice rougher than you intended. “What’s happening?”

“The fuckin’ Americans lured us out here,” Iceman says, taking a long drag of his cigarette before laying back down flat against the ground, eye looking through the scope and chin pressed to the stock of the sniper rifle as he prepares for another shot. “There’s only two of them but something’s wrong with one of ‘em.”

“What does that mean?” you demand, looking between Iceman, Albatross and Piano Man. Albatross grimaces and looks away, Piano Man meets your gaze. Iceman pulls the trigger to the gun and Dazai cringes at the sharp noise, but you have to focus on Piano Man’s response over trying to comfort him.

“It won’t die,” Piano Man says, the characteristically whimsical tone to his voice long gone, face pinched. “No matter what we hit it with.”

“I’m sorry?” you ask, staring at Piano Man blankly as you wait for him to elaborate.

“It won’t die,” Albatross repeats, looking equally stressed as he manhandles you to face the other direction, looking in the direction of the battlefield where Chuuya is in combat with an unfamiliar black-haired man whose arms seem to have transformed into tentacles whipping around at a lethal speed, the dismembered bodies of his subordinates littered in pieces across the forest floor. “He has a partner who has taken cover in the forest too. Can manipulate trees. Can’t fucking get to him because of the tentacle monster.”

You suddenly wish you never left the beach house.

“What the fuck,” you breathe out, watching as the man (man?) grows tentacles to reattach his head to his shoulders after a devastating blow from Chuuya that should have sent his head flying. “Where-”

Movement from the corner of your eye catches your attention and your head snaps to the side to focus on where four people—one very unfortunately familiar—are taking cover in the tree line, talking frantically amongst each other.

“Yeah,” Albatross mutters, shoulder pressed to yours as he follows your gaze. “The Agency showed up too. We don’t know why, haven’t been able to get over there because of fuckin’ Woody Woodpecker over there.”

“Steinbeck,” you say, voice sounding distant even to your own ears as your eyes tunnel in on Yosano Akiko, the same woman who has been haunting you for over a decade now. God, you’ll never be free of her, of the reminder of your inadequacy. You have to force yourself to look back at the situation at hand. “John Steinbeck. The Grapes of Wrath. An executive of the Guild. Big in the US farming industry but that’s just about-”

“We don’t need an info dump on him, Christ, how do we kill him?” Iceman says dryly and you give him a withering look.

“I was getting to that,” you reply icily. “The vines he controls. They and anything they attach to are extensions of himself, meaning if you attack them…”

“It harms him,” Iceman finishes, the corner of his lips curling up into a slow smirk. “Got it.”

You look over to Albatross. “What types of weapons do you have on you?”

Albatross winks at you. “What don’t I have on me?”

“Can you smoke him out?”

“For you, dollface, I can do anything.”

You roll your eyes but grimace as Chuuya is knocked backward hard, blood spilling from his mouth as he takes a violent hit from the black-haired man that you don’t recognize. He looks exhausted, you wonder how long he’s been fighting trying to protect the Flags and the guilt that’s been hanging over you like a dark cloud intensifies.

“If we can’t figure out any weaknesses, Chuuya is probably going to have to use Corruption against that thing,” you say quietly. “... We need to make sure there are no interfering factors before he activates it to make sure his time in Corruption is as short as possible. We draw out Steinbeck, I’ll go out there and get information from him. Once we kill him, we figure out if those detectives are allies or enemies today. Handle them if they’retheir enemies. Then, you guys need to get the fuck out of the area.”

You need Dazai out of here, you think, teeth grinding together as you look between the forest, the fight between Chuuya and that monster, and then to Dazai, whose face is white and eyes are trained on you, as if he’s trying to keep himself calm by training his attention on the only person in the vicinity that he knows he can trust. You want to reach out and grab his hand but you can’t move.

Piano Man squeezes your shoulder. “As soon as Steinbeck is handled, I’ll get him to Doc. I don't want to bring him through the forest while Steinbeck can pretty much control it.”

You nod and then look at Albatross. His lips curl into a crooked grin as he holds up his fist to you. “Ready? Gotta be quick once I’ve got him panicked running out of the treeline otherwise he’ll get to that fuckin’ squid and we’ll lose our chance.”

You bump your fist against his. “I know what I’ve got to do. You better not fuck up.”

“When have I ever?”

“Too many times to count.”

“... Rude.”

Albatross heads off without another word and you watch with bated breath, waiting for Steinbeck to flee the forest so you can make your move. You’ll have to be careful of the stray tentacles unless you want to lose a limb or two, but you trust Iceman to cover you and you know Chuuya will figure out what you’re trying to do so he’ll be quick to adjust accordingly.

But it just… has too far of a range. The tentacles can reach too far, too quickly. As powerful as Chuuya is, he can’t be in two places at once, so someone else needs to take over the right flank while he handles the left so there are no openings for it to get to you while you interrogate Steinbeck…

As Albatross heads in his direction, you head in your own direction, darting from your safe cover with the other two Flags and Dazai over to where the four detectives are taking cover. Yosano is the first one to look at you, a conflicted expression on her face as she stares at you. You can’t even bring yourself to look her in the eye, instead focusing your attention on the blonde.

“Are you here as enemies or allies?” you ask tightly, getting straight to the point because it’s only a matter of time before Albatross smokes out Steinbeck.

“Until that thing is dead, it’s the enemy,” the blonde says, raising his chin. “We’re here to protect Yokohama.”

You scoff—he says that as if you guys aren’t, you think bitterly, but you don’t have the time to argue. Instead, you nod in the direction of where Albatross left. “One of my comrades went to draw out the Guild member hiding in the trees. Once he’s out, I’m going after him to figure out its weakness. Chuuya can’t handle the right and left flank at the same time, the thing has too wide of a range and he can’t be in two places at once. You guys need to hold off the right flank while he holds off the left so I can get the information from Steinbeck.”

The blonde looks disgruntled by the order, and certainly doesn’t seem pleased by the prospect of working with the Port Mafia, but he steels his face and nods, evidently more concerned with the threat that the monstrous man-creature in the center of the clearing poses more than you and the Mafia.

Yosano says your name quietly, but Albatross finishes the job just in time so you don’t have to acknowledge her—as quick and efficient as ever. As much as you give him shit for everything, he’s always been the most reliable to get the job done. It takes not more than five minutes before the entire northern sector of the forest is burning and John Steinbeck is stumbling from the shrubs, pain twisted on his face as he gasps for air and coughs over the smoke clogging his lungs.

You strike just as quickly to get to Steinbeck before his partner can get him back somewhere safe behind him; he darted out close to where Piano Man, Iceman and Dazai are still taking cover. The blonde doesn’t even see you coming because of the way he keeps rubbing at his eyes. You kick his ankles out from under him hard and drive your foot into his back, slamming his head hard against a flat rock to stun him.

You grab him by the hair to flip him onto his back and press the muzzle of your gun beneath his chin before he can reorient himself. His eyes are still partially glazed over when you drive your knee into his chest and settle above him, giving him a sweet smile.

“You must be Steinbeck,” you say lightly, “I’ve learned a lot about you recently.”

Steinbeck’s expression twists when he recognizes you and instantly, you’re met with a faceful of blood as he spits it on your face. You click your tongue in disgust and whip the barrel of your gun against his jaw, watching his eyes bulge in pain as you wipe the blood off of your face.

“You’re going to tell me all about your friend over there,” you tell him, voice cool. “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”

“I’m not telling you anything,” Steinbeck hisses, cringing at the pain that blooms through him when he speaks. “You and your friends are done. Lovecraft can’t be killed. You’re going to join the rest of your subordinates in pieces on the ground.”

“For your sake,” you murmur, sending Chuuya your silent thanks when he positions himself between you and Lovecraft, “that better not be true.”

“I was told you were cruel, but it’s so kind of you to be worried about my wellbeing,” Steinbeck says, lips slanted upward in a smile too arrogant for your liking, leading you to believe you’re really not going to like what he’s about to say next. You’re proven correct swiftly. “Especially when you really should be worrying about yourself and your little friend over there now that our leader, Francis, has confirmation about his existence. I was also told you were smart, but this was a bit of a silly move on your part, hm?”

You raise your chin, careful to not let your sudden distress show on your face as you look down at him blankly.

Is that what this is all about? Was it not them setting you up to try to get Dazai alone? Did they not even know about Dazai yet? Was Fitzgerald just trying to get confirmation on his existence and you just played right into it like a fool? Or is Steinbeck just trying to get into your head? You don’t know.

“Let me rephrase,” you say flatly, “for your sister’s sake, that better not be true.”

You watch as Steinbeck’s face shifts as soon as your words register through his head. It’s only then that you finally decide to use your ability. You’d been contemplating whether or not you’d get quicker results by trying to ease him into revealing the information or if you should intimidate him into it, but from what you’ve heard about Steinbeck—he’s devoted to the cause and will do whatever it takes to get the job done.

The only thing he’s more devoted to is his family.

“I told you, I’ve learned a lot about you,” you say softly, lips curling up. “Little Eden is turning thirteen this year, isn’t she? A teenager. She’s going to be a high schooler soon. You must be proud… She’s a little above the age range that Paz seeks out for his rings, but I’m sure he’ll find some kind of work for her.”

Paz’s trafficking rings are not to your taste. You’ve never been fond of the business, try to avoid it as much as possible, especially after taking Klaus in, so you’re not going to contribute to them in any way, but Steinbeck doesn’t need to know that. You just need him to believe you will and from the reputation that follows you and the black tendrils of fear curling around his brain courtesy of your ability, you think he’s plenty convinced.

“Don’t you dare go anywhere near her, I swear I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” you interrupt, tilting your head to the side. “This isn’t on me, Steinbeck. Your decisions will decide what happens to your family. So, you can sit here and be stubborn—I’ll let you live, if only so you can go back to that lovely town you call home in Glidden, Iowa so you can find your parents strung up like the pigs you sell to slaughterhouses and all eight of your younger siblings separated all across the world in different trafficking rings. Or, you can tell me what I want to know and die here so your family can live. It’s your choice.”

Steinbeck’s face is a ghastly pallor as he stares up at you, white and gaunt with eyes void of reasonable thought. “You’re doing something to me,” he says shakily. “I can’t-I can’t think. I don’t-they said you didn’t have an ability but you’re doing something to me. I can’t think.”

You smile. You don’t even have to keep your ability activated—never do, not with fear, it always spirals, the mindkiller—so you’re not even lying as you tell him, “I’m not. I suggest you start talking because if the next words from your lips aren’t telling me what exactly can kill your little friend over there, the next words from mine will be your home address to Octavio Paz.”

“He can’t be killed,” Steinbeck says, expression still painted with fear, pleading for you to believe him. “He can’t. Lovecraft-he’s not-he’s not like us. He’s invulnerable on the outside. He’s not killable.”

That can’t be true. Your breath shakes a little as you lift your gaze to look over at where Chuuya is still ardently trying to defend you from Lovecraft’s attacks, batting away tentacles and taking hits so they can’t get to you, to where the blonde member of the Agency grunts as he takes a painful blow to the side to protect one of the other detectives. That can’t be-

“On the outside,” a familiar voice calls frantically, loud over the fighting but too close for liking. Your head twists around to see Dazai hanging off the rubble that the Flags had been using as cover, ignoring Piano Man as he tries to drag the stupid boy back to safety. “He said that he’s invulnerable on the outside.”

Your eyes widen when you realize what Dazai is trying to get at and when you look down at Steinbeck, it’s with far more malice. You’re tired of this—Dazai shouldn’t be here, you were stupid enough to fall into the Guild’s trap and now Chuuya is at risk because of your incapability. God, you need to end this conflict.

“So, even after all of the threats, you still try to lie to my face to protect him and the Guild. You’re going to die here… you won’t be alone though, your family will join you soon enough.”

Steinbeck’s eyes fly open with panic but neither of you get the chance to say anything else because suddenly, the entire earth is trembling. You gasp in pain as you’re tossed a few feet away, shoulder slamming against the same rock you’d bashed Steinbeck’s head against. The world spins as you stare up at the sky, trying to figure out what happened, but you’re only met with an incomprehensible sight.

What?

You-

You don’t even know what you’re looking at. Your lips part as you stare up at the massive creature that’s suddenly in your line of vision—something so foreign and ungodly that you think it doesn’t belong on the earth. The air around you has become heavy and oppressive, the particles themselves holding you down like weights; it’s early morning so it should be light out, but somehow your surroundings feel dark and gloomy, unnaturally so.

Is that… Lovecraft? You only manage to put it together because the monstrous creature is the same color as the tentacles that had been trying to cut you and Chuuya down. You can’t help but wonder what demon Francis Fitzgerald must have dealt with to get something like this on his side.

You don’t snap out of your dazed, horrified state until you hear a scream of your name coming from your left. You’re too slow to the draw when you realize that Dazai is trying to warn you of an attack—Steinbeck must’ve recovered when you were still stunned by the appearance of Lovecraft’s new form and he’s flung his hand forward, sharp grape vines hurtling right toward you, about to pierce through your chest when-

When the branches wither and crumble to the ground. When a shot rings through the air and finds itself embedded in Steinbeck’s forehead. You let out a breath of relief and turn to thank Iceman but you freeze when you realize it’s not Iceman who protected you from a would-be lethal blow because he’s still scrambling from being tossed several feet away by the blast of Lovecraft’s transformation.

Instead, it’s Dazai standing there, lips parted in shock and fingers shaky around the gun you’d given him for protection, the one you promised him he wouldn’t have to use.

“I’ll do what I have to. It’s okay.”

“You won’t have to do anything.”

“Get him out of here,” you breathe out, horror clogging your throat, preventing you from raising your voice because what have you done? What have you done? What have you done? “Get him out of here, now.”

You feel sick, your stomach twists and turns and your vision blurs. Your fingers feel numb and clunky and you can hardly focus as you try to look over at Chuuya, who’s still staring up at Lovecraft, aghast. You need to focus. Need to get rid of the most imminent threat. Then, you can come to terms with what you’ve just allowed to happen.

Only then.

“Chuuya,” you shout for your friend over the ominous sound of birds screeching as they fly away from the forest. He looks back at you, eyes wide and wild. “It’s weak from the inside. Now’s the time.”

Chuuya’s gaze becomes steely as he nods, turning his attention back to Lovecraft and slowly pulling off his gloves. You turn to run for cover but don’t get more than a step before a familiar black tendril is wrapping around your waist, yanking you thirty yards away just as the entire world begins to shift around you. You land hard against Akutagawa’s chest, grimacing as Klaus throws himself over the two of you when a shockwave rattles the entire forest, knocking down nearly all of the trees in the vicinity.

“Are you okay?” Klaus asks breathlessly. “What’s going on?”

“Long story,” you say as you push yourself into a sitting position. “Just… be ready for the worst case scenario.”

Klaus’s eyes widen but he nods and instead of focusing your attention on Chuuya so that you can get to him as soon as his battle with Lovecraft ends, you find your eyes seeking Dazai out, trying to make sure that he got out of the immediate impact zone with Piano Man before Chuuya activated Corruption.

But you can’t find him. Your gaze becomes more and more panicked as your head swivels around trying to spot them. They shouldn’t have gotten that far—they should still be in your line of vision but-

Shit.

Your throat swells when you finally catch sight of Piano Man’s white and black bob fifteen or twenty yards away to your left. His face is twisted and he’s struggling to lift a fallen tree—your lips part to tell Klaus to get to them but you can’t even push the words out. You can’t see Dazai from the angle you’re standing at, but you can see the frustration on Piano Man’s face and the stress as his eyes flicker up to where Chuuya is fighting Lovecraft.

“Something… is wrong with Executive Nakahara.” You hear Klaus say behind you, voice wavering. You look back at him, seeing the disturbed expression on his face as he stares at the fighting. “He’s not usually this aggressive under Corruption, is he?”

The dread you’ve been feeling all morning intensifies as your head snaps back in the direction of the battle. At first, you think nothing is out of the ordinary—Chuuya is destructive while under the effects of Corruption, always has been. Gravity brings ruin to the land around him, slaughters his enemies and allies alike; it’s no different now, you watch as Lovecraft falls to the destruction of the calamity god Arahabaki and you wait for it to calm down, always does when it realizes all of the immediate enemies in the area have been destroyed.

Or, maybe calm down isn’t the right word but it does become more reckless in its efforts to destroy, blows holes in the ground and laughs at the destruction, is less aware of its surroundings—it’s only then that you approach it to put it to sleep, but now…?

Chuuya—no, Arahabaki is still hunting. It hasn’t celebrated the defeat of Lovecraft, head whipping around and black eyes wide and searching. You don’t know what it’s looking for but you don’t like it, rising to your feet slowly, pulling your wrist away from Klaus as he tries to stop you from moving.

Is it looking for the detectives, maybe? Chuuya would probably consider them his enemies and Arahabaki would feel those residual emotions and he would know they’re here even if they’ve seemingly disappeared. You think maybe you should intervene—if Arahabaki kills the detectives and Fukuzawa Yukichi learns of it, it’ll make messy times even messier for the Port Mafia. But… there is always the chance you can blame it on the Guild.

No, it’s not worth risking making the situation worse than it is.

“I’m going to go to him,” you say quietly. “Be ready.”

“Maybe you should wait,” Klaus tells you hesitantly but you ignore him. “Something’s not right.”

“Each second I wait, the closer Chuuya gets to death,” you hiss. “I’m not waiting.”

You don’t bother listening to the next protest that’s bound to leave both of your subordinates’ lips. You can see Akutagawa’s face twisting so you know it’s coming; instead, you turn around and make your way slowly in the direction of Arahabaki.

God, it’s disturbing, a sight so unearthly that you can hardly stand to look at it. Black guck is splattered all across the forest floor from where Arahabaki had torn Lovecraft apart from the inside out, chunks of the tentacles littered around the area. And Arahabaki itself is there in the middle of it, using the body of your closest friend as a grotesque vessel of calamity—the ground shudders around him, rubble suspended midair as gravity fluctuates precariously. No matter how many times you see Chuuya under the effects of Corruption, you’ll never get used to the way it transforms him: the way his eyes become black voids, empty and haunting, the way his pale skin starts to rot black from his fingertips to his forearms to his biceps.

Destroys him just as much as it destroys everything around him.

You don’t know if it’s just your imagination when you approach cautiously and realize that the rot seems to be spreading faster this time. It’s been less than half of the amount of time he was in Corruption during the conflict with the Inagawa-kai and yet already, the black decay has spread to nearly his elbows. Either way, it only serves to stress you out more.

You’re less than ten yards away from it when Arahabaki suddenly stiffens and goes still, all of the rubble suspended in the air drops to the ground with a thunderous noise. Your breath catches in the back of your throat—Arahabaki has never sensed your presence before, you and Chuuya theorize that it’s because of how comfortable Chuuya is around you. He thinks that parts of it transfer over to Arahabaki when it takes over so it just instinctually doesn’t register you near him or as a threat. It’s the only reason why you’re even able to approach it when it’s in control, otherwise you’d be as dead as any other enemy in the vicinity—you still have to worry about the stray rubble and increased pressure of course, but it’s much more manageable, and survivable, than a God of Calamity smushing you like a bug.

Has that changed? Has something changed?

You can hardly breathe as Arahabaki looks over its shoulder and a shiver runs down your spine at the sight of Chuuya’s warped face. But Arahabaki’s gaze shifts over you like you aren’t even there.

Instead, it looks past you.

Looks past you right at Piano Man and Dazai.

Iceman joined them and with their combined effort, they managed to get the tree off of Dazai’s leg, freeing him from where he was pinned to the ground. His ankle looks bad, twisted in all of the wrong spots, blood staining his tan pants. But the three of them stand frozen, Iceman mid-reloading his gun, Piano Man mid-step, and Dazai standing uncomfortably on his twisted ankle, none of them even daring to take in a single breath as they wait for Arahabaki to look away from them. In the entire vicinity, no one moves, no one breathes, no one even blinks—a bunch of deer frozen beneath the gaze of a predator, knowing that the wrong move would lead to them getting torn to pieces.

And then-

And then Dazai shifts onto his good leg.

The crunching of leaves beneath his foot is so loud in contrast to the stillness that had spread across the area, and it’s the only thing needed to get Arahabaki moving.

“Chuuya, no!” you scream futilely as Arahabaki uses gravity to propel itself forward in the direction of Dazai, Piano Man and Iceman.

The two Flags shove Dazai behind them and brace themselves for the brunt of Arahabaki’s attack but you’re faster and positioned at just the right angle between the three of them and Arahabaki to throw yourself right in Arahabaki’s path. And maybe it’s stupid, you realize that a bit too late when you’re face to face with the god that’s using your friend as a vessel but-

But you can’t let it get to Dazai.

You can’t put Arahabaki to sleep without physical contact—sleep is too strong of a state and Arahabaki is too powerful of a subject. It’s one of the only things you can’t induce without physical touch. If you could just-

Your vision blurs and you taste iron. Something warm and thick pools in the back of your throat and you gag on it, feet suddenly dangling in the air as you stare down at Arahabaki’s empty eyes. You can hear people yelling around you—Klaus and Akutagawa rushing in your direction, Albatross firing off shots at Arahabaki to try to get its attention off of you, Dazai screaming your name.

Dazai.

Shit.

You don’t want him to see this.

You think that Arahabaki must’ve ruptured one of your lungs because every breath you take in is wet and the oxygen just isn’t reaching where it needs to. Your vision swims with black dots and you need to lift your hand—if you could just wrap your hand around his forearm, it would be worth it. You could put him to sleep; you always knew one day you’d probably meet your fate at the hands of Arahabaki, you just wish that Dazai wasn’t here to witness it.

But you can’t. And it’s frustrating, it’s so frustrating, your eyes feel wet and you don’t know if it’s from tears or blood considering the pressure around you just keeps getting more and more intense. His forearm is right there, impaled through your fucking stomach, inches away but you can’t lift it high enough for you to force Arahabaki to sleep, your arms just sway limply at your side until Arahabaki has had enough of you and tosses your body several yards away into a pile of rubble.

You can’t move and the fucking bastard managed to land you at a perfect angle for you to witness what’s about to happen. Even as your vision starts to go out, you’re forced to watch as Arahabaki approaches Piano Man, Iceman and Dazai. You watch as Klaus attacks in blind rage only to get his legs crushed to dust—he’ll be able to heal them through Mephisto (he’ll pay for it, though, he always does), but not fast enough to stop Arahabaki from getting to Dazai. Akutagawa lands the next blow, consuming the space near Arahabaki’s neck to try to land what could have been an incapacitating hit but Arahabaki is faster and Akutagawa suffers for the attempt.

Arahabaki knocks Piano Man and Iceman out of the way, its gaze set on Dazai. Dazai doesn’t even try to run, he stares at where your body is crumpled against the rubble with a wrecked expression on his face. You don’t want to watch but you can’t even bring yourself to turn your gaze away. Klaus doesn’t even wait for his other leg to heal—as soon as one has reformed, he’s throwing himself at Arahabaki again to try to protect Dazai. When Arahabaki knocks him away again, he uses his arms to propel himself forward onto its back.

As Klaus utilizes his ability to try to wrangle Arahabaki away from Dazai, desperately healing himself as gravity crushes him, you become acutely aware of a new presence at your side.

Yosano.

Familiar purple eyes stare down at you, conflicted, breath shuddered. You can’t even fathom to understand what she might be thinking and you want her to get away from you. You think it’s cruel even for the gods to have your last sight be her of all people, the same girl that Mori has held over you since the day he met her, heralding her as the perfect linchpin of his plans and disparaging you as nothing more than a failure.

“Fuck off,” you try to tell her, but the words are garbled over blood.

“I know you hate me,” she says quietly and her words aren’t even registering in your brain, the lack of air makes your ears ring so loud that you can’t hear anything over it and you can’t make out what words her lips are forming because of the blood in your eyes. You think she knows that, but speaks anyway, “but everyday… I wonder how things might’ve been different if I’d gotten you off of Tokoyami Island with me. I couldn’t save you back then, so I will now… Whether it’s the right decision or not, I won’t let you die.”

You feel the effects of Yosano’s dreadful ability instantly, gasping as your lung stitches itself back to better, the hole through your abdomen closing up and the lost blood replenishing in your body. Your body still hurts—the soreness is there and you can feel the ghosts of the wounds, but you feel alive, forcibly pulled back from the brink of death by the last person in the world you’d ever want to save you.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss, shoving her away when she tries to help you to your feet.

God, if Mori knew that Yosano of all fucking people saved your life it would just be more ammunition against you. You think you’d rather have died. Your eyes feel wet again, but this time you can’t use Arahabaki as an excuse, glaring at the other woman who looks oddly solemn at your reaction, disappointed but not surprised.

You turn your attention back to the more pressing matter, praying to god that you wouldn’t be met with the sight of Dazai’s obliterated body in the near distance. Your breath catches when you see Klaus crumpled on the ground, still alive but healing much more slowly and-

And Arahabaki approaching Dazai.

Dazai doesn’t even seem to notice, staring listlessly at the ground with a haunted expression on his face, like he doesn’t even realize death is approaching him.

Like he doesn’t care.

“Osamu, run!” you cry out, even though you know it’s to no avail, that Arahabaki will hunt him down, but he needs to try.

Dazai’s head snaps toward you, dark eyes wide and relieved when he sees you standing there, wounds healed. But just as your gaze meets his, Arahabaki strikes, hand darting out to curl around Dazai’s thin neck with every intention of using gravity to crush it to dust. Someone screams—you, maybe, though it’s unfamiliar, shrill and piercing, more animalistic than human—and Klaus is still trying to claw his way through the dirt toward Arahabaki to no avail. Piano Man is watching the scene with a shattered arm and leg and Iceman is fumbling for one of his guns, Akutagawa is hurtling himself through the air with Rashomon, holding his bloody side as he tries to sever Arahabaki’s hand before it can follow through with Dazai’s execution.

He’s not fast enough. None of them will be.

But they don’t need to be.

You watch as a strange white and blue color emits from where Arahabaki’s hand is curled around Dazai’s neck, as the black rot recedes and the blackness of his eyes gives way to familiar brown and blue. Chuuya—not Arahabaki—falls limply to the ground, exhausted from using Corruption, and Dazai just stands there, eyes wide and confused.

What the fuck?

Piano Man. Iceman. Albatross. Klaus and Akutagawa. They all look equally perplexed as they stare at what just happened and you fumble for answers to make sense of it. Did Arahabaki exhaust itself on its own? Did it feel Chuuya’s body crumbling under the force of Corruption and instead of letting its host die, it gave control back over? It would make sense if Arahabaki was a parasite that needed Chuuya to exist, but it’s not a parasite and Chuuya is its prison.

And either way, it only happened when he touched Dazai. A light emanated between the two of them like-

Like the activation of an ability, like the reaction between two abilities.

Is… Dazai an ability user?

He can’t be, there’s no way he’s gone his whole life without ever activating it once—or even knowing he has one. It doesn’t make sense. When he asked about yours, it was clearly with the curiosity of someone who’d never encountered an ability before. Unless-

Unless he was lying.

No. He wasn’t. He must not have known, but this changes everything.

You hardly even get the chance to play with your thoughts and come to a solid conclusion, because you realize that Yosano is storming past you in the direction of where Chuuya is unconscious and vulnerable.

“Where do you think you’re going?” you ask tightly, trying to take a step forward but wincing, so instead, you reach for the gun you’d placed back into your holster, grip firm on the handle.

Yosano doesn’t respond to you, her hand resting on the hilt of her machete is enough of an answer for you. The threat of Lovecraft is gone and the next biggest threat to the city is none other than the vessel of the calamity god lying unconscious in the dirt—if you were her, you would also move for the execution.

But you’re not her, so you pull out your gun and flick the safety off, not wasting any time before you drag your eyes over to where the blonde you’d spoken to before is resting on the ground with a wounded side. You lift your gun and point it at his leg, the gunshot resounding sharply through the air and causing Yosano to stop dead in her tracks, head snapping back toward you in disbelief.

Your gaze meets hers. “A nick to the femoral artery can cause a man to bleed out within thirty seconds… we learned that together, don’t you remember?”

“You-”

“The enemy is dead, we no longer have to work together. I suggest you handle your people and I’ll handle mine.”

Yosano looks frustrated, but her hesitation gave Akutagawa enough time to get between her and Chuuya. He tilts his head to the side as if daring her to try to get through him; she looks distressed as she looks between the blonde and Chuuya, but eventually rushes in your direction to get to her comrade.

She stops as she passes you and you don’t look at her, staring ahead at Dazai as she tells you tightly, “You… really have grown into someone who Mori should be proud of.”

Mori will never be proud of you, so Yosano’s words only serve to make you even more bitter.

“And you haven’t changed at all, Akiko-chan,” you say lightly. “The same scared girl on Tokoyami Island who made the same silly mistakes over and over again. You should have let me die today, just like you shouldn’t have gotten attached to every soldier that passed you by on that island. Your sentimentality will get you killed one day.”

Yosano scoffs. “You never were quite as good at utilizing your ability as I was,” she says coldly, digging a knife into an open wound, “but you did take quickly to his cold-hearted tactics and mentality… I wonder how he feels about your new weakness.”

Your gaze snaps to the side, focusing on her. “Tread carefully,” you say coldly.

“Relax, I’m not you,” Yosano spits out. “I wouldn’t use something like that against you. I don’t need to anyway, you’ll get him killed yourself.”

You don’t have a response to that, cringing and looking away. You miss the way her expression shifts when she sees your reaction; you also miss the way her lips part to say something else, leaving her behind without another word to go over to Dazai and the others.

Klaus is shakily pushing himself to his feet by the time you get there, exhausted and covered in his own blood. You reach out to grab his hand, squeezing it gently. “You did well,” you say quietly, watching how his eyes shine at the praise before glancing over to Akutagawa. “Both of you. You did good. Thank you. I parked my car two miles north of here, go get in there and sleep, I’ll drive you back to headquarters. Go on ahead, I’ll meet you there.”

The two nod and take off in the direction you gave them; you turn your attention to Iceman, who’s gathering Chuuya in his arms. Albatross helps Piano Man limp over to the group of you.

“We’re going to bring him back to his place to rest, Doc will look over him to make sure he’s alright. Was in Corruption for longer than usual,” Iceman says roughly, looking over you once to make sure you’re okay. “We’ll… we’ll all stay with him for a bit, if he remembers what happened when he wakes up…”

“That’s probably for the best,” you say quietly. Chuuya alone with his own mind after activating Corruption is quite the dangerous thing. You try to stay with him in the aftermath, but this time, you have things to deal with first. “He shouldn’t be alone. He’ll blame himself.”

Iceman nods, making his way toward where Doc must be camped out. As Albatross and Piano Man pass you by, Piano Man squeezes your shoulder with his good hand and says, “I’ll make sure the Boss doesn’t find out about the kid just yet… figure out what happened out here though, okay?”

“I will,” you promise, finally glancing up at Dazai, who looks like he wants nothing more than to just collapse into your arms. You think you want the same. Not yet though. Your voice softens as you address him, “Come on. Let’s go home.”

Dazai sits cross-legged on your bedroom floor as he waits for you to come back from whatever meeting you had to attend as soon as you got back. He dragged your comforter off of the bed to wrap around him and he removed his clothes so he could put on a comfortable pair of sweats and a sweatshirt—yours, naturally, because he thinks if he doesn’t surround himself with your scent he might actually start to lose his mind.

He’s been teetering on the edge for hours. His eyes burn because he refuses to let them slide shut—the image of you impaled on Nakahara Chuuya’s arm is burned behind his eyelids. God, he still doesn’t really know what happened—apparently it wasn’t Chuuya from the little you were able to explain before having to leave, but instead some calamity god that uses his body as a vessel.

As insane as it sounds, Dazai somehow didn’t even doubt the words once you said them because only the power of a god could explain what he’d seen. The entire forest had been rendered to ruin in a matter of seconds, he could feel the way the air had come alive with dark, oppressive forces; he’d never experienced anything like it before. He’d only ever stumbled upon an ability user once in Suribachi City before Odasaku found him and though he’d been strong—Dazai could tell that much from the way he set half of the slums on fire—it hadn’t felt anything like this. This had been… unnatural.

It had been incredible, he’d never seen anything so… powerful before, so close to divinity—or it had been until you were killed.

Whatever it was—Nakahara Chuuya or a calamity god called Arabahaki—it had killed you. It had killed you right in front of Dazai. It had killed you because Dazai made the wrong move and drew its attention. It killed you because you threw yourself into the line of fire to protect him and he can’t rid himself of the image.

No matter how hard he rubs his eyes, no matter how much he tells himself that you’re alive, he can only see the blood, the hole through your abdomen, the way your body had gone limp and your eyes had become cloudy. You were dead when it tossed your body to the side like it was nothing more than trash to be discarded—or you were close to it, at least, but you were definitely dead when you hit the rubble, body broken and shattered, eyes glassy.

You were dead because of him, that’s irrefutable. It doesn’t matter how you’re alive now—and he still doesn’t know how, you clammed up when he asked you how your wounds had disappeared—because you had been dead, and you’d been dead because of him and his mistake.

He’s hardly even had the chance to talk to you. The drive back to headquarters was quick and quiet; your two subordinates had been passed out in the backseat of your car and you’d been so lost in thought that Dazai could hardly bring himself to badger you with questions. He thought he’d get the chance when the two of you got up to your apartment, but you only sent him up on his own and told him you’d be back soon because you had to report to Mori.

It’s been seven hours since then.

He hasn’t budged an inch, hasn't eaten anything, hasn’t drank anything, hasn’t even wiped the crusted blood off of his neck. Your crusted blood in the shape of Nakahara Chuuya’s handprint wrapped around his throat because he’d used the very same hand that killed you to try to deliver the same fate to Dazai.

A part of him is half convinced that he imagined it—that’s why you aren’t here—and each passing second, he becomes more and more convinced of it. He imagined the fact that you’d been brought back to life after being killed and imagined that you drove him home. The reality is that your body is still split open on the rocks that Arahabaki had thrown you into, you’re still staring emptily up at the sky, blood pooling around you. It hadn’t been you to drive him and the two kids home, it had been one of the men you’d told him to stay by during the battle and he’s waiting here for them to decide what they’re going to do with him.

Dazai is alone again.

Everything he never wants to lose is lost—irrefutable, unchangeable.

It’s his fate.

It’s-

“Osamu.”

He doesn’t move. His gaze flickers to the side and he sees you standing there—you’re still dressed in the clothes that you were wearing when you dragged him from the beach house. The clothes you’d died in. A plain black shirt and black pants. You hadn’t given yourself any time to change once you got the message from Chuuya. As soon as you read it, you were ushering him to the car.

Except now, there’s a hole through the shirt where Arahabaki’s fist had ripped through your body. It’s all crusty with blood, Dazai can tell even if he can’t see the murky redness. Dazai thinks that if he stares long enough, he can see the wound reappear—the way your abdomen caves in on itself, how your skin starts to tear and…

He can’t look at this. His mind playing tricks on him like this, forcing him to see this—he can’t handle it. So, he looks away, breath shaky and fingers trembling beneath the comforter.

“Osamu,” you say again, voice quiet, garbled like you’re underwater. “Osamu.”

He ignores you still—doesn’t want to give in to the cruel imagination of his mind—so he tucks his legs closer to his chest and-

And you touch him.

He feels your fingers, warm and familiar, slide against the back of his head as you turn his head to force him to face you. You don’t let him look down at where the wound had been, forcing him to look up at your face. There’s a concerned look in your eyes, but your lips are curled up in a small smile.

“What’re you doing sitting on the floor?” you ask softly.

His lashes flutter when he feels how you card your fingers through his hair but he doesn’t respond. You’re here. Alive. With him.

He isn’t alone.

(Not yet.)

Your eyes flicker down to his neck, frowning when you see the blood. “C’mon, come with me to the bathroom.”

Dazai doesn’t respond but he does rise to his feet, dragging the comforter along with him as he follows after you, only dropping it when you give it a pointed look before he walks into the bathroom after you. He drops it on the floor before stepping in, letting you guide him to the toilet, sitting him down on top of the closed seat.

You don’t say anything as you step over to the sink, running the water for a few seconds before grabbing a soft rag and soaking it beneath. You ring it once before moving to stand in front of him again, tilting his head back gently before pressing the warm, damp rag against his skin.

“I didn’t think I would be as long as I was,” you say quietly. “I’m sorry. I thought I’d just be able to report in and then leave but he had me there for hours with some of the other executives trying to figure out how to proceed with the Guild.”

Dazai doesn’t respond, eyes sliding shut as you wipe away your crusted blood.

“He didn’t even let me change,” you say bitterly. “Think it was meant to be some sort of punishment.”

“Punishment for what?” Dazai asks, voice raspy even to his own ears.

“Failure.”

“But we won,” he frowns, a bit confused.

Your hand stills for a moment before you force yourself to continue cleaning him up, the expression on your face now a bit twisted. You seem to choose your words carefully as you tell him, “I didn’t. Not to him.”

Dazai isn’t quite sure what that means but he knows he doesn’t like the look on your face, so even though his fingers still feel a bit numb and clunky, he reaches out to grab your hand, watching as your expression immediately smoothes out, a small smile replacing the frown.

“I spoke to Piano Man,” you say lightly as you finish wiping off the blood, dropping the damp, dirty rag into the sink so you can cup his face and tilt it up toward you. “We figure that it must’ve been an ability that pulled Chuuya out of the Corrupted state. Your ability… Did you… know you had an ability?”

You ask the question hesitantly, watching him carefully for a response, and Dazai frowns, unsure why you even need to ask that because he would have told you if he had an ability and you should know that.

“No,” he finally says, brows knit together. “Of course not… what is it?”

You don’t respond and the expression on your face is still contemplative—for a scary second, Dazai thinks that you don’t believe him, but then your expression smoothes out as you nod, putting his fears to rest.

“We’re… not sure,” you admit. “Have you… been in situations before where you’ve been in danger?”

You cringe as you ask it like you already know the answer and Dazai gives you a flat look.

“Yes.”

“Situations where you’ve been in contact with the person making you feel threatened?” you prod further and Dazai’s lips curl down into a frown, eyes lowering as he remembers the months he spent in Suribachi and the years after Odasaku’s death.

“Yes.”

“We theorized maybe it could’ve been your ability triggering as a defense mechanism—that maybe you had a similar ability to mine in that you could make people unconscious,” you say, leaning against the sink to look down at where he’s sitting. You tilt your head to the side and Dazai distinctly feels like a specimen being studied by a scientist. “But if that was the case, it likely would have triggered already and you would’ve known about it.”

“I didn’t know,” he says again like he has something to prove. Your expression doesn’t shift, an unreadable look in your eyes as you stare down at him. “I didn’t.”

Dazai doesn’t know why he’s getting so defensive about it, he knows that it’s probably only serving to make you more suspicious. He thinks it’s because he’s upset that you even need to ask that, it’s bothering him more than it should.

“Okay,” you say to placate him. “I have my own theory but…”

Dazai leans forward. “What is it?”

You look conflicted, brows knitting together and then you look away like you don’t even want to answer him, so he tilts to the side to force himself back into your line of vision again. You sigh heavily as your gaze drifts back to him.

“I’m going to try to use my ability on you,” you tell him but your voice wavers and you look pained just by the prospect of it. Dazai’s eyes widen, remembering how angry you’d gotten when he first brought it up to you. “Just to… test something. Okay?”

Dazai nods eagerly, eyes wide and imploring—he thinks that he shouldn’t feel so excited by this when you’re clearly conflicted and unhappy about it but… it’s not even a matter of an ability being used on him in a non-aggressive manner, it’s more just…

It’s a part of you. It’s a part of you that Dazai has never experienced before and he wants to experience all parts of you. Everything. Anything. No matter what it is as long as it’s you.

You reach out to brush your fingers against his cheek and Dazai waits with his heart in his throat and excitement thrumming through his body, pushing away all of the numbness. He looks up at you as he braces himself for something to happen and only begins to wonder if something is wrong when he sees how you tilt your head to the side curiously.

“What do you feel?” you finally ask him.

Dazai blinks and then says, “Excited?”

Your brows furrow. You wait a few moments before questioning, “And now?”

Dazai stares at you. “Nothing has changed.”

Your hand drops from his face and Dazai is pouting immediately, eyes following it as you rest it against your lap. His lips part to protest but before he can say anything, you press: “And now?”

“Nothing has changed,” Dazai says, mind racing as he slowly puts together what your theory is: that no ability can affect him, and the reason why Arahabaki put to sleep after it came in contact with Dazai was because it couldn’t exist while in contact with him. “Wait, are you…?”

“You nullify abilities,” you breathe out. “You… And not just by touch… it seems like any ability—around you? Or maybe if it just targets you?—it just like… gets sucked up into a black hole. Non-existent.”

Dazai feels a bit giddy as he looks at you. “I have an ability.”

You don’t even seem to register his words, staring at him with an expression so wrecked that Dazai is startled, thinking he did something to upset you. He’s about to ask when you speak again, voice sounding a bit distant as you say, “You’ve never been affected by my ability.”

And Dazai remembers. He remembers why you’d been so upset when he asked you to use your ability on him. Remembers how your face had started to crumble, the insecurity that had swept across it: I don’t know who wants to be around me for me and who’s just influenced by my ability.

“I told you,” Dazai says with a teasing smile, “I want you for you.”

“You do,” you agree, taking in a deep breath as you look down at your lap, lips curling up into a small smile that Dazai wishes would remain on your face forever. You look so at peace, so happy—and because of him. “You might be the only one.”

You say the words lightly but Dazai can feel the weight of them, so he reaches out to take your hands into his, squeezing them gently. “I doubt that,” he says, “but even if I am, I’ll love you enough that it won’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

Your eyes widen. Dazai immediately draws back and slaps his hand over his mouth, realizing what he’d just admitted out loud. He can feel the heat emanating from his cheeks and he’s sure that he’s probably as red as a tomato. He almost wants to bolt but before he can, your smile softens around the edges and you reach out to cup his cheek again, the look in your eyes so adoring that it makes Dazai’s breath catch in the back of his throat.

“I love you too,” you tell him quietly, and it’s with more emotion than when you told him last night—god, it’s hardly been twenty-four hours, all of this has happened within twenty-four hours.

Dazai is suddenly acutely reminded of the fact that he’d almost lost you within those twenty-four hours and his chest feels much heavier. He wonders if you were abruptly reminded of the same thing because your nails dig into his cheek enough to sting, the look in your eyes more intense.

“Can we watch a movie?” he asks, voice wobbling as he holds your free hand between his so tightly that he fears he might break it.

He wants to lay with you, wants to curl up in your arms and pretend he’s watching a movie that he doesn’t care for just so he can bask in the feeling of being loved and pretend he didn't just almost lose you.

“We can watch a movie,” you agree. “Let me go get changed. What are you feeling?”

You take a step away from him and Dazai almost reaches out for you but refrains. “Horror?” he asks, if only because he likes to hide his face in your chest under the pretense of being scared.

You give him a side-eye over your shoulder as you walk into your bedroom and he promptly gives you a sweet smile, knowing that you know exactly why he picked the genre. You only roll your eyes and leave the bathroom and he sighs as he sits back against the toilet, a warm feeling spreading through his chest.

A warm feeling that is very quickly pushed away when his phone buzzes.

Professor Ui: Can you stop by the school with Koda-san and Otsuka-kun tomorrow? We received a tip-off concerning the exposé we were working on a few weeks ago. I want to run something by the three of you because we might just have the chance to drive the nail in the coffin.

His throat swells as his gaze flickers up to where you’re changing into a clean pair of pajamas and fixing the comforter that he’d pulled off of your bed, rattling off a few options for him to choose from—all going in one ear, out the other. His knuckles are white around his phone before he fumbles to stuff it in the pocket of his sweats.

He just wants one night with you after everything that happened today and… he remembers the look on your face when you mentioned ‘punishment’ and ‘failure’, and he thinks that you deserve just one night of peace too.

A night of peace that isn’t interrupted by another shitty text.

He’ll bring it up to you tomorrow or… or maybe he’ll handle it on his own. Go to the meeting, figure out what they’ve been tipped off about so he can report back to you… and then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be a liability to you anymore. He could do something to help you and… it’s not like he has to be as worried about danger considering the newfound revelation about his ability. Obviously, there are still other dangers but…

But Dazai could be helpful. Useful. He’s only been a hindrance to you up until now, but he could change that.

He could change it. And maybe—just maybe—if he could learn how to use his ability and you could rely on him for more things… Maybe there’s a chance he could change the fate he thought was inevitable. Maybe he wouldn’t lose you. You love him, so you won’t leave him, and he would be strong enough this time to make sure you wouldn’t be taken from him in the same way Odasaku was.

Things would be different.

He would be different.

“Are you coming?” you call as you pull on a sweatshirt and peek your head back into the bathroom.

“Coming,” he agrees, bounding out of the bathroom and tossing himself right on top of you as you rest against the pillows, curling into your side and waiting for you to start the movie.

One night of peace. It couldn’t be too much for him to ask.

He tries to ignore the ghost weight of the gun in his hand as his arms tighten around you.

#dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x you #bsd x reader #bsd x you #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x you

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chuuyrr · 4 months

Text

ᡣ𐭩 WE WERE BOTH YOUNG WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU — NAKAHARA CHUUYA .ᐟ

ᡣ𐭩 CW(s): f! reader, 15! chuuya (initially) but both of you grow up in the end ofc, strangers to friends to lovers trope, fluff with slight angst, inspired by howl's moving castle, not proofread

ᡣ𐭩 SYNOPSIS: in which he loved you since fifteen

ᡣ𐭩 NOW PLAYING: fearless and love story by taylor swift

chuuya made his way through the packed streets, and it didn't take long for his sharp eyes to notice a commotion up ahead. a group of middle schoolers surrounded a lone, young girl, their taunts and jeers resonating through the air.

chuuya's brows furrowed, and his tongue clicked in annoyance at the sight. he always had a low tolerance for those who preyed on the weak, especially when they targeted someone as vulnerable as a middle schooler.

so, with a sigh, he approached the scene at hand, his presence demanding attention as those bullies fixed their sight on him.

"oi, who the hell are you?" one of them snarled, puffing out his chest in a futile attempt to appear threatening as he saw chuuya.

chuuya only smirked at the mere display of threat, his gray-blue eyes gleaming with a menacing glint, "someone who doesn't take kindly to cowards who pick on the innocent."

with that, chuuya began to glow red as he began to manipulate gravity, and the ground beneath the bullies' feet trembled, sending them falling backward in confusion and fear.

you looked up, surprised by the sight of the intriguing figure before you. you had heard stories about the sheep and their leader, but you never expected to meet him in person, let alone in the thick of your own personal turmoil at the time.

it didn't take long for those bullies to flee from the sheep king, terrified for their own lives. if you were in their shoes, you would have done exactly the same. ghe king of the sheep was someone who prowled the streets using his devastating gravity manipulation ability.

you blink quietly in astonishment as the teen's red aura stemming from his ability fades, his ginger locks falling back to frame his face as his gray-blue eyes rest on yours, softening.

"hey, you alright?" chuuya asked, his tone softer now as he turned his attention to you.

you immediately nodded, your voice barely a whisper as you replied, "y-yes, thank you."

as you stood in the dimly lighted alley, your heart was still beating from the previous encounter with the bullies, but you were pleased for his sudden appearance. you would have been done for if he hadn't been around, and your money would have been stolen again.

you couldn't help but look at him in admiration as a smile appeared on his lips, and his smile warmed your heart as he took a step closer, relieving your tension from the previous occurrences.

"err—i couldn't just stand by and watch," he admitted, his sincerity evident in his gaze as he stares at you, "are you sure you're okay?"

you nodded again, feeling a blush creeping onto your cheeks with a shy smile tugging on your lips, "well, i am now. that's for sure.."

his heart skipped a beat at your words, and chuuya realized he couldn't let you slip away so easily, and so he couldn't help but ask.

"so. would, uh, you... would you like me to walk you home?" he cleared his throat.

his sweet gesture sent your heart fluttering. you would never have expected the fearsome sheep king to be thus nice, given how he was usually portrayed as deadly, a force to be reckoned with. perhaps it was a reminder that, at the end of the day, he was not a king.

he was just a teenager, a child—just like you.

warmth spreads through you as you nodded your head in agreement and took his outstretched hand with a growing smile, "sure!"

as chuuya walked you home, he couldn't help but notice your middle school uniform, which served as a sharp reminder of the childhood he never had. his eyes lingered on the familiar scene, a stab of jealousy tugging at his heart as he pondered what it would have been like to go to school like any other child.

despite his envy, he developed a curious attraction. he was drawn to you, intrigued by the innocence and youth that emanated from your being, and despite the difficulties he experienced as the sheep's leader, he just couldn't resist the pull of your youthful vigor, which stood in stark contrast to the darkness that pervaded his life. there was just something.

maybe you were the one who had the ability to manipulate gravity after all, huh?

chuuya couldn't resist the impulse to strike up a conversation with you as you led him through the streets, walking directly by your side on your left as he let you take the sidewalk.

"so, uh, what's it like being a middle schooler?" he inquired, real curiosity in his voice.

you looked up at him, taken aback by his question yet ready to share your experiences regardless.

"it's... alright, i guess?" you said, a faint smile on your lips, "school can be tough sometimes, but it's nice to have friends and teachers who are there for me."

chuuya nodded, his curiosity peaked by your reply, "friends and teachers, huh? sounds like you've got a good support system," he said with a tinge of wistfulness in his tone as he whispered the last part, "must be nice.."

you agreed, a sensation of thankfulness welling up within you, "mhm, but what about you? what's it like being the leader of the sheep?"

chuuya's demeanor softened in response to the question you asked, a mixture of pride and melancholy flickering through his eyes.

"it's challenging, to say the least," he said, his voice laced with emotion, "we may not have much in the sheep, but we look out for each other, no matter what.."

as you were going to continue the talk, you observed a look of surprise on chuuya's face.

"wait... how do you know me?" he inquired, his gray blue eyes narrowing slightly as he watched you with renewed interest.

you blushed, realizing you'd accidentally disclosed your knowledge of him, as you stuttered and tried to avoid any raise of suspicion from him, "i, um, i've heard about you from some friends.. they call you the king of the sheep, but that's all i promise! i don't know much!"

chuuya's expression relaxed, and a soft smile formed at the corners of his lips upon seeing your cute stammer. it was such a sight to be hold. you looked so cute when you were nervous. it made feel some things in his chest.

"i see," he said in an amused tone, "well, i guess it's not every day that the leader of the sheep gets recognized by a (cute) middle schooler."

his response made you less tense now, and you couldn't help but smile again.

"you know, i didn't think you were this.. nice.” you said to him, fiddling with your fingers.

chuuya smiled softly in response to your statement, a touch of amusement flickering in his keen gray blue eyes, "i suppose i'm not always what people expect," he conceded, a contemplative expression crossing his face as he shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manner.

you nodded, a sense of admiration rising within you as you saw chuuya in a new light. despite his profound reputation and ability, there was a tenderness and warmth about him that you had not expected.

"well, i'm glad i got to see this side of you, sheep king. it's an honor," you replied, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

chuuya returned your smile, and a sense of camaraderie grew between you, "likewise," he remarked, his tone sincere, "and who knows? maybe there's more to me than meets the eye."

before you head inside your house after he accompanied you, you turn around to see chuuya, a gleam of curiosity in your eyes.

"by the way, i never really got your name," you admitted, a sheepish smile playing on your lips.

chuuya's lips quirk into a smirk at your question. "ah, right. i'm nakahara chuuya," he replied, his voice warm and inviting to the soul.

"nakahara chuuya..." you repeated, the name rolling off your tongue as you commit it to memory, "thank you for walking me home, and for saving me earlier, chuuya. it was nice meeting you."

chuuya nodded, a sense of contentment settling over him, "of course," he says, his smile widening, "take care of yourself, alright?"

as chuuya turns around to leave, you sense a strong need to follow him. with a racing heart, you catch up to him from your door, reaching out to grab his arm before he disappears off into the night.

"wait, chuuya!" you called out to him, your voice tinged with urgency.

chuuya, taken aback by your unexpected gesture, turns back to face you, his gray-blue eyes widening as you embrace him. his breath catches in his throat, and his cheeks flush with surprise at the unexpected display of devotion.

for a brief moment, the world around you fades away as you cling to chuuya, the sensation of his warmth enveloping you in a soothing embrace. as you eventually pull away, a flush growing across your cheeks, you meet his stare with a mix of shyness and sincerity.

"i know i thanked you already, but i just.. wanna thank you more personally like this," you muttered softly, which made his heart skip a beat.

chuuya's heart just couldn't help but flutter in response to your words, and he reaches out to gently brush a stray strand of hair away from your face.

"anytime," he chuckled, his voice warm and affectionate.

as you return home, the image of his flushed countenance lingers in your mind, leaving you with a smile that lasts late into the night.

the days that followed were a haze for you, packed with the typical schedule of classes and homework from school.

despite the monotony, memories of chuuya persisted in the back of your mind, his surprising kindness leaving an indelible mark on you. you never expected the king of the sheep to be like that. you expected him to be scary just as they had depicted him to be.

"chuuya?" you called out, your voice tinged with curiosity as you approached him.

chuuya turned to face you, a sheepish smile on his lips, and greeted you with a hand on the nape of his neck, "hey, [name]. i, uh, hope you don't mind my waiting for you here.”

you shook your head, a mix of curiosity and excitement coursing through you. "oh, no! not at all. it's just unexpected to see you here. that's all," you said, tilting your head to the side, making his chest feel fuzzy at the sight.

chuuya chuckled softly, "i wanted to, uh, tell you something."

as the talk between you and chuuya progressed in the secluded area near the college gates, you developed a sensation of eagerness. finally, unable to resist your curiosity, you couldn't help but ask, "so, what did you want to talk to me about, chuuya?"

"i've been thinking.." he said, his voice trailing off briefly as he looked for the proper words.

"...i've been thinking that maybe we could spend more time together," chuuya finally continued to his words, his voice becoming more confident as he talked but he stammered, "i've loved our discussions thus far, and i’d like to get to know you better, if that's okay with you.. i-i understand if you don't want to identify yourself with me. i mean, i know i have a reputation for being the sheep kin—"

you couldn't help but feel a rush of delight flowing through you as you blurted out an excited, "of course i don't mind!" which cut him off.

chuuya's smile widened at your response, a warmth flowing through his chest and cheeks, and his freckled face turned pink as he realized you felt the same way.

"r-really?" he asked, his voice full of disbelief but excitement—genuine excitement, "how about we meet up after your classes tomorrow? we could grab a bite to eat or explore the city together. anything is cool with me."

the possibility of spending more time with chuuya piqued your interest, and you quickly nodded in accord.

and so, the next day, as the last bell rung to indicate the end of courses, you eagerly made your way to the specified meeting place where you would meet chuuya. your heart beat with excitement, wondering what experiences awaited you and chuuya as the heels of your shoes thumped against the ground.

as you neared the spot of the meeting place, you noticed chuuya waiting for you, a warm smile lighting up his face. he went forward without hesitation and embraced you tightly, surprising you but filling you with a sense of warmth and comfort.

"hey," chuuya never spoke this softly around anyone else, but you were an exception somehow as he hugged you.

returning the hug, you couldn't help but smile at him. "hey," you exhaled softly, filled with joy at the sight of him.

chuuya released you from his embrace and his touch sent a spark of electricity through as he suddenly took your hand in his, the skin to skin contact making your cheeks even warmer.

"come on, let's go," he murmured, his enthusiasm evident as he led you away from the campus gates.

before you could even question where you two were going, chuuya began sprinting, pulling you along with him as you laughed in surprise and excitement. the wind whipped past you as you sprinted side by side, your surroundings a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds.

as you raced through the streets together, you couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline surge through your veins, making you lose yourself in the moment as a smile etched on your lips.

chuuya abruptly came to a halt, his gray-blue eyes flashing with mischief as he turned to face you with a cheeky smirk, "quick, hold on tight."

"wha—?!"

before you could react, chuuya's hands began to glow with a faint, pulsating light, and with a flick of his wrist, he used his gravity manipulation ability as you held onto him, and in an instant, you felt lifted off the earth, weightless and free as you hovered in midair.

surprised but delighted by the sensation, you couldn't help but giggle in glee as chuuya twirled you around with ease, like you were in a ballroom made out of clouds and clear skies.

as you drifted together, floating in midair, you couldn't help but feel a sense of enchantment and wonder surround you.

and when you looked into chuuya's eyes, you felt a flood of emotions surge through you—love, excitement, and a sense of limitless possibility, and as he held you close, his touch, warm, delicate yet firm—that's when you realized you has discovered something genuinely rare too.

a love that defied gravity.

with a giggle bubbling up from within your throat, you couldn't help but wrap your arms around chuuya's neck, holding on to him as you soared over the air together.

chuuya's laughter resonated in the air around you, a sound that warmed your heart, a sound that sounded like bells to your ears, as he held you tight and guided you easily into the air.

buildings and houses went beneath you in a blur with each step, making the world below appear little and inconsequential in comparison to the limitless expanse of the sky above.

as the days went and you spent more time with chuuya, a new sense of joy and excitement entered your life. instead of going directly home from school, you found yourself drawn to his side instead, and chuuya always arrived with a bright smile and a humorous glimmer in his pretty gray blue eyes.

"ah, there she is, my queen of the sheep," he'd remark now, his voice full with warm affection as he greeted you every single time.

chuuya's adorable nickname for you warmed your cheeks, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter of curiosity bubbling up inside you. as the two of you went hand in hand, you looked up at him with a curious gleam in your eyes.

"me? queen of the sheep?" you asked, your tone mixed with amusement and interest as you pointed at yourself.

chuuya shrugged softly, his gaze softening as he looked at you, trying to look and sound casual as he spoke, "you're more than just a friend, alright?"

"how so?" you furrowed your brows, a smile growing on your lips as you felt him squeeze your hand in his.

chuuya leaned closer to you, and said, "you're someone special.. someone who brings light and warmth into my life, just like a queen."

chuuya's remark made your cheeks flush with even more warmth, and a faint giggle escaped your lips as you attempted to conceal your amusement of it.

"wow, chuuya.. i never thought the sheep king could be this pretty cheesy," you muttered softly, unable to hide the cute smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

chuuya laughed along with you, shaking his head side to side as he nudged you playfully in return, his voice filled with a teasing tone "i can't help it if I'm a romantic at heart, ya' know?"

your laughter resonated across the quiet streets as you teased chuuya about his unexpected surge of romanticism.

"but do tell, what's gotten into you, being all romantic all of a sudden, hmm?" you asked, a teasing grin coming over your face.

chuuya shrugged, a sheepish smile on his lips, "i guess spending time with you just brings out the cheesy side of me."

you said, nudging him lightly in return, "well, then. it's nice having my own personal romantic."

chuuya laughed and slung his arm around your shoulders as you continued your leisurely stroll across the city.

but then, it happened.

as the days passed, you were increasingly agitated and concerned when chuuya failed to arrive at your customary after-school meeting place. days turned into weeks real quick.

you waited impatiently each afternoon, scouring the surroundings for any sign of his familiar form, but he wasn't there. you initially tried to dismiss your fears, thinking yourself that he was too busy or preoccupied with something more essential.

he belonged to the sheep, after all. not to you. a fact that you had to accept.

but when the days stretched into weeks with no trace of him, your concern grew into full-fledged anxiety.

and so with a heavy heart, you gradually accepted that chuuya would not be arriving any time soon. the once-vibrant streets way back home felt empty, and the world seemed quieter without him alongside you, and as you walked home alone every day, the weight of his absence sat heavy on your shoulders, as you silently waited for him.

the gods above seemed to have heard your prayers, because he eventually returned, and you found him waiting for you at the normal meeting point after your classes ended one day.

chuuya was dressed in a harsh black suit and formal pants, a white button-up shirt, and black gloves, and your heart sunk at his new look. something had inevitably occurred, and you could tell as the tension hung heavy in the air as you waited for him to speak.

"hey, what happened to you?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

chuuya's gaze was distant, and his expression was instantly replaced by a serious expression as he looked into your eyes, "i had to take care of some business."

you could feel the weight of his words. something had changed, something important enough to dramatically alter chuuya's manner and appearance. he wasn't like this before.

a million questions raced through your head, but you held back, allowing chuuya to disclose what he was comfortable with. the stillness stretched between you, filled with unspoken words and worries, but after what seemed like a lifetime, chuuya spoke again, barely above a whisper.

"look, i’m sorry i haven't been around," he replied, his tone tinged with sadness.

chuuya's arms suddenly wrapped securely around you in a comforting embrace, and you felt a rush of emotions flow through you. uncertainty, anxiety, and, most importantly, genuine concern for him.

his words lingered in your head, each syllable laden with significance, and you couldn't help but feel a shiver of unease at the prospect of what they may imply. chuuya tightened his grip on you, as if seeking relief in your presence.

"i'm no longer a part of the sheep," he admitted all of a sudden after mustering enough courage, "things have changed, and i don't exactly know what's going to happen next."

you felt a knot form in your throat at his disclosure, the weight of his words soaking in as you attempted to grasp the enormity of what he was saying. the notion of chuuya leaving the sheep, leaving behind the only life he had ever known, made you feel uneasy and sad.

but his following comments, stated with earnestness that sent shivers down your spine, troubled you much more, "but listen to me, no matter what happens, promise me you'll wait for me," he pleaded, his voice full of desperation, "okay, [name]?"

you furrowed your brows in confusion, unable to make sense of his request, "wait for you? what do you mean, chuuya?"

"i can't explain it right now, but please, trust me," he begged, his voice barely above a whisper, "promise me you'll wait for me, no matter what. okay, [name]?"

you nodded slowly, a sensation of doom washing over you as you made the commitment, but you couldn't shake the notion that chuuya's words had a deeper significance.

as you stood there, struggling with the weight of chuuya's words and the uncertainty of the future, he unexpectedly moved in and placed his lips to yours in a loving kiss, stealing your first kiss.

for a brief minute, time appeared to stand still as your heart beat in your chest, your mind reeling from the unexpected intimacy of the gesture. his lips were warm against yours, a delicate shiver that sent thrills down your spine and triggered profound feelings within you.

chuuya drew back as fast as it had began, his gaze searching yours for any indication of understanding or reciprocation. the air crackled with tension as you met his eyes—the intensity of the moment hung heavy between you.

"chuuya?" you whispered.

and before you could say anything else, chuuya shook his head, a sorrowful smile forming on the edges of his lips.

"heh, i'm sorry for stealing your first kiss," he said softly, his voice thick with grief, "i just.. i just needed you to know how much you mean to me."

you reached out to him, your fingers quivering as they brushed against his cheek, a wordless gesture of comfort and understanding, and in that moment, words felt unnecessary as you stood together in unspoken affection.

chuuya held you tightly, his lips meeting yours in another delicate kiss, and you felt a rush of warmth travel through your body, lighting a fire deep within. his embrace was firm but delicate, as if he was attempting to express all of his love and longing in that one moment.

but as the kiss continued, you sensed a trace of regret beneath the desire, a tacit acknowledgement of the impending separation between the two of you, and chuuya's grip tightened around you, as if he was attempting to hang on for just a bit longer, unable to let go.

but he had to, and he pulled away hesitantly, his forehead resting against yours as he looked into your eyes with a mix of tenderness and sadness.

"i really wish i could stay," he said, just above a whisper, "but i have to leave."

you felt a twinge of sorrow at his words, the weight of his approaching departure clenching around on your poor heart.

"go where?" you asked quietly as chuuya paused for a minute, his expression anguished as he tried to find the perfect words.

"there are some things i need to take care of," he said, cryptically, "but please know that no matter what happens, i'll always carry you with me.”

tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the depth of chuuya's love and devotion for you, and the fact that he was going weighed hard on your thoughts.

"chuuya, please don't go," you begged, your voice choked with anguish, "you can't just show me a world bigger than us, then just leave."

"i know.." he whispered softly, his gaze never leaving yours, "but i swear, i’ll come back for you. just wait for me. okay? i'll come running, and i'll find you in the future. no matter what."

chuuya unwillingly released you from his embrace with one more kiss, his touch lingering on your skin as if he were imprinting himself on you and refusing to let go, and as he turned to leave, you watched him go with a heavy heart, knowing that a piece of yourself would always be with him.

days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and finally, months into years.

despite your efforts to move on, chuuya's memories did in fact haunt you like a ghost, not just as a reminder, as you stroll through the hallway of your campus as a college student, no longer a middle schooler, you felt the emptiness that time cannot fill, and slowly you have come to realize the truth.

you've outgrown the young girl who waited for chuuya's return, and you wonder if the promise of love you previously held onto was merely a dream.

you remembered sharing your stories about your day at school with chuuya while he told you about the sheep in return, and even life was not always easy, and chuuya was there to console and be your shoulder to lean on during those difficult times.

chuuya would wipe away your tears, hug you, and encourage you as best he could. he would even take you away to an ice cream parlor to soothe your anxious mind, and those fleeting moments left an indelible mark on your heart. he always made sure you came home smiling.

and now, lost in thought, you're wandering through the city streets on your way home from campus. chuuya left seven years ago. he was just fifteen and you were fourteen when you first met, and you still wonder how much he has changed.

suddenly, you feel a light tap on your shoulder. you turn around to see no one which alerted you, but the moment you turn back, you felt like you saw a ghost. the ghost whose memories had always been haunting your mind for years.

he grew his hair long, but those red locks still frame his face the way you remember them, and his gray blue eyes meet yours with such intensity that your pulse skips a beat, sending a rush of nostalgia through your veins, reminding you of how young you were when you first saw each other.

sharper features and cheekbones, a more mature build now dressed in a formal suit, vest, and tie, as well as a coat and hat, and you in a college uniform, different hair and style, but even after time, even if you both were no longer kids, the heart and soul knows and recalls, and will always do.

"i’ve been looking everywhere for you," he says.

you blink, hardly believing it as you utter a soft spoken, "chuuya?"

he steps closer, eyes locked on yours. "you know, i couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he says quietly with a soft chuckle, "of course i had to find you. i needed to know you were okay."

tears well up in your eyes. you never thought you’d see him again, but here he is, right in front of you, like a fever dream.

"chuuya!" you find yourself crying out his name as you run straight into his arms, the same way you would back then whenever you'd see him waiting for you after school.

chuuya reaches out, catching you in his arms, a constant, and gently cups your cheek, "god, i’m sorry i took so long," he says, smiling at you, "but i’m here now, yeah?"

you let out tearful sniffles and hiccups as you held onto him, clinging to the fabric of his shirt, burying your face in his embrace; his ever-present scent mixed with a rich cologne will forever remind you of home; after all, he was your home, and you were finally home after all these years.

"shh, i'm here, i'm here now i'm so sorry, love," he whispers softly against your face, his warm breath bringing warmth and comfort as he hugs you close to his chest, scared you'll slip away from him again.

"i got tired of waiting, wondering if you'd come back, and wondering if you'd forgotten about me.. i thought you were really gone," you sob, unable to breathe through your tears as you pour your heart out to him, "i kept waiting, and waiting, but you never came.." you continue as he rubs your back.

chuuya's heart clenched, and your tears filled him with guilt. he knows how much everything has taken its toll on you, and he knows he has a lot to catch up on and make up for, so he cups your face in his hands, catching your tears with his thumbs as he rests his forehead against yours before capturing your lips in a tender, longing kiss.

a kiss that is no longer a bittersweet goodbye, but rather a lovely hello.

"we were both young when i first you, but time will never allow me to forget you. i love you, and i love you more than ever," he says with such love in his eyes and he finds himself falling in love all over again, falling in love harder even.

and chuuya kisses you for the second, third, and fourth time, keeping the promise of love he made to you back to when you were both young.

ᡣ𐭩 A.N.: for some odd reason, and i swear ya'll. this was all way better in my head but hey it's finally done !! ( ⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ ) ♡

ᡣ𐭩 TAGS: @cheriiyaya @atomi-mi @walking-simp @little-miss-chaoss @soleelia @rainbowsalt0412 @tinypuppyparadise @iheart-nana @velvetyvoyage @lilyzenick @hellkaiserinphoenix

#chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x y/n #bungo stray dogs x you #bsd chuuya #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you #chuuya x fem!reader #bsd imagines #bsd fanfic #nakahara chuuya x you

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deonsx · 6 months

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How Did You Meet Them?

Feat: Dazai, Chuuya,Fyodor

Dazai Osamu

• This was definitely not a coincidence and he was the first one to notice you, it was never difficult for him to get the woman he wanted, after all, he is really a handsome brunette with curly brown hair, tall height, quick wit, sensual words and two brown orb eyes that shine like gold

• You first met him at the cafe under the agency, or rather, you came to get coffee with your friend, you didn't even have to think about what exactly to do to attract his attention. While you were waiting, he took your number from you and placed a kiss on your hand. That day, he made you think that he was a very gentleman, so you gave him the number easily

"When I first saw your mother, I said 'This is the woman I was looking for" ~Fifteen Years Later

Chuuya Nakahara

• Of course, he wasn't the one who made the first move, Chuuya is a man who doesn't pay that much attention to his surroundings and doesn't look for love. His priorities are his career and himself. Since he isn't looking for a love life, it will take him a long time to like someone

• You met him absolutely randomly. One day, you were waiting for your bus, following your usual routine, but since it didn't arrive, you were already late for your destination, and you sat on the road and waited, not knowing what to do. Since you were waiting at the traffic lights, a biker standing there caught your attention, and as a last resort, you came right next to him

• "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Can you drop me off at my **** workplace on your way? I'm already late. Please, my only option is...-" The biker opened the eye part of his helmet while the lights were still burning red, his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes looked like they were penetrating his soul "Well..I'm sorry-" interrupted him "Get in quickly"

"That's how lucky I met your mother” ~Fifteen Years Later

Fyodor Dostoyevski

• We have come to the most difficult person...yes, you will not be able to meet him, he will meet you and no, this cannot be a coincidence..it cannot be because he does not leave his house, works all the time and is awake every day without sleep, so he will definitely choose you as a victim, unfortunately, this is the highest probability

• The possibility of an enemy to love relationship is high, but he definitely chose you first to use you and then gave up on it, but it is impossible to know the reason, you cannot understand that he is in love with you, even his way of flirting would be by reading poems or playing the cello for you

"Back in the day, your mother used to listen to the music I played with pleasure" ~ Fifteen Years Later

Enjoy!

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kaurwreck · 1 year

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If you're considering when Dazai noticed Chuuya wasn't a vampire, keep in mind that if Chuuya were a vampire, he wouldn't have killed the guards in Meursault. He would have turned them into more vampires.

Also, if you think that it cheapens the scene in which Dazai drowns Fyodor and Chuuya for Dazai to have known Chuuya was human: it doesn't. Regardless of whether Dazai knew Chuuya would survive (he did; see his explanation of how he would kill Chuuya in Fifteen, the light novel, and further how he approached Verlaine in Storm Bringer):

Imagine how fucking miserable it must have been to do that to someone he loves and trusts. Imagine how difficult for Dazai to lean into and trust Chuuya to be okay, not only after Dazai drowned him, but in such close proximity to Fyodor, whose ability is touch-based. Imagine Dazai recalling that when he was 16, his botched timing meant that Chuuya was tortured. Imagine Dazai reminding himself that Chuuya suffered then because Dazai didn't trust him, didn't let him in on what he was doing, thought only he could pull the strings up until he was too late— and yet Chuuya remained okay anyway. Imagine Dazai considering how time and time again he's received Chuuya's unadulterated trust and choosing to reciprocate with unequivocal faith. Imagine Dazai being unable to express any of this to Chuuya typically, except for in moments when the demands of the circumstances and Chuuya's inability to respond together loosen his inhibitions and his tongue.

Further, usually when Dazai's batshit machinations are exposed, his eyes flatten, his voice slickens into condescension, and he palpably slips into a version of himself that even unnerved Mori. But, in Twilight Goodbye/ep 61, Dazai's eyes were honeyed and light, his voice playful, and his mannerisms bright and animated. Those were not his typical machinations, because rather than attempt to control the variables, which he admitted he couldn't, he responded to what happened as it unfolded, and trusted those he loved to do the same.

He trusted Chuuya, Chuuya trusted him. Because of that, everything was okay. It's not cheap that Chuuya was never a vampire, nor would it be cheap if Dazai knew as soon as Chuuya tore through Meursault that he wasn't really a vampire. Angst is not the source of Bungou Stray Dogs' intensity; hope, faith, and love are, and they're just as heady.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd spoilers #twilight goodbye #bsd season 5 #bsd anime #anyway tired of seeing takes that discount how euphoric this reveal was #because i've spent the last several weeks dizzy over how much dazai has grown as a character #bsd meta

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originalaccountname · 7 months

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I saw this post again and now I'm thinking about the Fifteen arcade scene, in the context of Dazai being in the middle of a bet with Chuuya to make him be "his dog" (make him do what he wants), while the Sheep show up to make Chuuya do what they want (make him into their "protective sheepdog").

The main difference between Dazai and the Sheep is, when both are very much trying to order Chuuya around, the Sheep expect Chuuya to bend without much resistance, while Dazai expects Chuuya to bend despite his resistance.

For the Sheep, Chuuya bending to their will is seen as a necessary security. Chuuya is really the one protecting them all, they need Chuuya on their side or they're all lost. The fear of Chuuya turning his back on them is deep enough to prevent them from seeing his loyalty as unwavering. A Chuuya that does his own thing is a threat.

But for Dazai, getting to order Chuuya around is fun. It's not about safety or danger, it's about watching Chuuya struggle with his pride and dislike of Dazai and still obeying his orders because he has to, those were the terms he agreed to! That's most probably the same reason Chuuya agreed to the bet in the first place, to do exactly that to Dazai too. At that point they saw each other as entitled kids with too much power, getting to knock the other down one peg was a treat too good to pass up.

It's a small difference but it's so important. The Sheep were pretending Chuuya didn't have a will of his own to deal with the fear of their protector abandonning them, which ultimately became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dazai saw Chuuya and thought it would be funny to mess with him through a clear, established bet. That difference is the basis of their partnership and rivalry; no matter what happens, Dazai always sees Chuuya as a person, a partner, never a tool nor a weapon.

#dazai always sees people as people that's his whole thing #i am just rambling at this point i needed this out of my system #did i have to pause in the middle of dazai's explanation because i realized you could compare and contrast it with BEAST?#yes. yes i did.#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fifteen #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd the sheep #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai osamu

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catmelonwriting · 2 months

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Cum Eating

Warnings: this is not written well, punishment, Chuuya cums inside & Dazai eats it out, dom chuuya, sub dazai & sub reader, not specific on what ur being punished for, bondage, threat of spanking, she/her pronouns uses on reader

Characters: Chuuya x Dazai x Reader

Synopsis: one shot of this

You're laying in Chuuya's king sized bed, legs spread apart with a spreader bar and hands cuffed to the headboard above you. Real heavy duty cuffs, none of those pink fluffy cuffs that snap at the slightest pull. Chuuya uses real heavy duty shit on both you and Dazai, as long as it won't hurt you. He needed you as secure as possible.

Dazai is kneeling on the floor next to the bed, hands cuffed behind his back, head tucked down in shame. Chuuya & Dazai are both fully dressed, you, of course, are not. "Osamu." Chuuya's mean, commanding voice rings through the room, and you can't help but feel lucky that it's not directed towards you. He's pissed with Dazai. You, of course, were just a pawn in his punishment. "You're not going to cum tonight. You're gonna watch me cum, you're gonna make her cum." He lightly gestures at you with his hand. "You don't get too. Understand?"

Dazai nods weakly. You almost feel bad for him, you know you'd be humiliated if you were in his position, but it was his own fault. "Head up. You're going to watch." Dazai listens immediately, lifting up his head to look at you sprawled out on the bed, Chuuya climbing over you.

Your cheeks turn pink at the feeling of Dazai's eyes on you. If this wasn't your punishment why was Chuuya so hell-bent on embarrassing you.. you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't speak up about it, just watched as Chuuya unbuckled his belt, tugging his pants down.

He gives his boner a couple quick strokes, before lifting your hips up and slowly sliding inside of you. He chuckled lightly at the light moan you let out, clenching around him. You must've been laying here, all prepped and wet for him for ten minutes while he was busy talking down to Dazai. You were so ready.

You felt Dazai's hungry eyes on you two as Chuuya picks up the pace, letting out shaky grunts and sharp breaths every now and then, he was naturally quiet in bed. You let out small whines and whimpers and attempted to rock back down onto his dick, just to be met with a light slap on your hip and a grumble of "Stay still." from Chuuya. Your cheeks heat up when you hear Dazai lightly laugh at the interaction between the two of you, followed by a smirk by Chuuya.

Fifteen minutes later, you're whining and rutting your hips in time with Chuuya's thrusts, and every once in awhile you hear Dazai let out a small grunt or a whine. He was on the back of your mind right now though, all you could focus on was Chuuya's cum that covered your stomach, clit & pussy lips, and about to fill your pussy.

One final thrust from Chuuya and he's cum deep inside you, letting out a low groan. He stays balls deep in you for a moment, watching you catch your breath. He slowly slides out, slapping your pussy harshly. You let out a small "fuck!" that he relishes in. He slides off the bed, pulling up his boxers and slacks. He buckles his belt and crouches down next to Dazai.

Chuuya grabs Dazai by the hair, forcing him to his feet and pushing him down onto the bed, in a position between your legs. Chuuya walks around to the other side of the bed, staring at you two. Dazai looks enamored with your current appearance, covered in Chuuya's seed. Dazai laughs a bit, tilting his head. "Damn. Wish that was my cum." He looks you up and down and Chuuya scoffs, pushing his head down by his neck, so he Dazai was face level with your pussy. "Eat her out. Lick all that up."

You hear Dazai let out a sharp whine and can only assume Chuuya's palming him through his trousers. Fuck, you wish you could see that. They were too low down for you to to make out anything other than the tops of their heads. "Yeah? Does that feel good? Well savor this cuz it's the most your getting tonight." Chuuya stands up and presses down on Dazai's clothed boner with his foot, laughing at the other man's whimper. He glances over at you who's been watching the whole exchange with a smile.

Dazai glances up at Chuuya, looking displeased at the situation. "and what if I don't?" He sneers. "Then I'll be spanking you for about the next hour." Now you're kind of wishing Dazai does refuse so you can watch that. Of course, he doesn't. He grimaces at Chuuya before looking back down to your pussy, giving it a small kitten lick. He misses any of Chuuya's semen purposefully. "Osamu.." His tone is warning. You look down at Dazai with an expression that says 'dont piss him off any further.'

He sighs and licks a long strip from your opening to your clit, causing you to let out a light moan. Dazai seems less than pleased by the taste, but your reaction is worth it. He continues licking up your juices mixed with Chuuya's semen, tongue fucking you and lapping at your clit till you're cumming on his tongue. He'd always been a skilled pussy eater.

You hear Chuuya huff in amusement once all his semen is licked up from your pussy and you're recovering from your climax. He grabs Dazai's hair harshly when he's about to back away from your pussy. "Hey. You're not done. Her stomach too, dumbass." Dazai glances at him, scrunching up his nose. "Licking her stomach is gonna bring her any pleasure, dumbass."

"Watching you lick my cum off her stomach will bring me pleasure. Its not for her." He snaps, lightly hitting Dazai's cheek. It didn't look like it was enough to really sting, but it did move his head to the side. You look down at Dazai as he straightens out his head, leaning forward to lick Chuuya's semen off your stomach. You watch with a dumb grin, much to his displeasure. He was still aching for some sort of touch on his poor cock. Maybe once you were both untied he could convince you to suck him off without Chuuya knowing.

He eats up all of Chuuya's seed off your stomach, and Chuuya pulls him back up straight. He stares at the two of you, looking between you. His gaze stops on Dazai and he laughs at the tent in his pants. "Y'know, Dazai, I was thinking about letting you cum anyways at the end of this.. but you've been so snarky I'm not sure if you deserve that."

"What??" He whines like a petulant child, pouting at the other man. "That's not fair. Tell him that's not fair." He looks to you with a pleading expression. You're met with both men's gaze, not quite sure what you're supposed to say here. "Um.. that's not fair?" You manage to squeak out, sinking into the bed beneath you. Chuuya let's out a deep sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Osamu, be a good boy and apologize for what you've done. Then I'll let you cum in your pants while she watches."

He scrunches up his nose, looking at you then back at Chuuya. He looks like he's weighing his options. He's silent for a moment before sighing and looking down at his lap. "Fine.. I'm sorry." He mumbles, a bit pathetically. Chuuya laughs at him and places his hand over the bulge in his trousers. Now you've got front row tickets to Dazai cumming in his pants. Nice.

#catmelonthinks #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #skk x reader #sokoku x reader #sokoku #skk #bsd skk

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jouno-s · 4 months

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one of my absolute favourite soukoku headcanons is that for maybe a month or two when they were fifteen, chuuya was taller. like, he had his growth spurt first and he was so happy about it, constantly bringing it up the way dazai does now, just for dazai to absolutely shoot up right after.

i think taking away chuuya’s momentary victory is infinitely funnier than dazai just being an ass the entire time 😭

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #skk #bungo stray dogs #bsd headcanons #skk headcanons #soukoku headcanons #soukoku

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etrevil · 11 months

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Dazai the kind of person to find Chuuya beautiful even when he's covered entirely in blood and scars, or when wrinkly and old, but still say he's as ugly as ever with a big fat lovesick lopsided smile.

Chuuya the kind of person to hear his bullshit, understand the hidden meaning, smile exasperatedly because this bastard can't be honest for the life of him, then say that Dazai doesn't look bad himself.

Then Dazai grows redder than a tomato, and continues spouting insults at Chuuya, who just enjoys his wine.

#when they were fifteen chuuya used to be the one who got hella flustersd like #dazai was once honest when saying chuuya looked good #and soon found out chuuya gave beautiful flustered reactions when chuuya gets complimented #so he would hide his sincere words behind the mask of driving chuuya up a wall #how the tables have turned #they're still both little shits tho lol #bsd shitpost #bsd headcanons #will forever be inspired by Dazai looking at corrupted form Chuuya with that dreamy look in his eyes #bungou gay dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #skk #soukoku

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chocsra · 1 year

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"I'm glad you understand me, though."

15! Dazai x fem! doctor! reader

a/n: sorry I haven't been posting! school starts on tuesday and i am not prepared to deal w these shitheads 🤧 (update, its friday and they are no new fine boys 😔😔)

to all my dazai fans 🫶🫶 also im working on a 15! chuuya x reader oneshot atm too!

also @sosograndii who wanted a dazai fic 😭 also lmk if any of you want a platonic! fem! reader x pm! dazai where its like "when I say I like all women you might actually be the exception" bc that would be hella funny

content: being teenagers, oneshot, swearing, mentions of suicide, injuries, dazai being dazai, reader is lowkey suicidal too, Mori is kinda creepy beware 😨

"Mori?"

"Yes, Dazai?"

The brunette adjusted his white cast, scribbling doodles on the supposed paperwork he was supposed to do. He currently sat across from the Port Mafia boss, Mori Ougai, who was folding Elise's clothes attentively in his leather seat. Dazai shifted and set down the chipped pencil he usually chewed on, facing him properly.

"Do you think there is anyone else in the mafia who rivals my skills?" The Demon Prodigy asks, it may seem like an arrogant or overconfident question, but the boy has been used to being a genius at such a young age; it was rather a question out of genuine curiousity.

"Besides me?" Mori 'charms' with a smile, not so charmingly earning a scowl from Dazai in return. "Yes, besides you." He grumbles begrudgingly, slumping in his seat thinking what to draw next. "No, not at all." The mafia boss states with full confidence, "You are my pupil, afterall." Dazai groans again, dropping the pencil yet again before yawning. "Not every intelligent person is of your work, Mori." He retorts with a bored face, causing the grown man to exhale loudly. "Fine. I suppose there is one person who may be up to your level."

Dazai's ears perked up, turning to Mori interested. "Who?" The man in the white lab coat adjusted his purple tie, fluttering his eyes shut mindlessly. "A girl your age, she wants to be a doctor just like her Boss." He smiles genuinely, causing Dazai to sigh in irritation.

"Yuck."

Yuck.

Is what you thought as you stare at the lanky boy who rested on your procedure chair. He was battered and bruised, previous bandages and a large cast wrapped around his left arm stained with sweat and blood; you put on a pair of gloves before grabbing a few tools to clean him up. He was a boy about your age, or so you thought, he was tall and lanky, a black suit with an oversized black overcoat messily draped upon his shoulders. He had messy brown hair thst framed his face, one eye wrapped around bandages along his face; shame, his eyes were a pretty sight.

"Where is your boss?" The brunette asks, watching you attentively as you grab his hand and begin to wipe his beaten knuckles, pushing the bandages wrapped around his hands up. "Out. I'm supposed to take over Mori's job while he's gone." You inform, scooting your chair closer in order to clean all the gashes on his hand. "Oh. So you're that girl?" You cock a brow, turning to look at him.

"That girl?"

"Mori's pupil."

You finish wiping one of his knuckles and dispose of the cloth, motioning the boy to remove his arm bandages before the cut bleeds again. "Oh. I guess." You quip, causing him to tilt his head in interest. "What's your name?" The brunette asks, complying and removing his stained arm bandage, placing it gently on the chair; you picked it up and disposed it yet again, grabbing disinfectant wipes as you wipe his knuckles once more. "[Y/N] [L/N], you?"

"Dazai Osamu, I'm fifteen." You nod politely, wrapping a new set of bandages around his hand. "Cool, me too." Dazai's eyes light up a bit at your responses, "I know." he nods, extending his other hand to repeat the same process.

"So," you pause, carefully applying the new bandages on his other hand, they were quite cold to the touch. "what happened to you?" Dazai sighs, tapping a nimble finger on the hospital chair. "I was trying to kill myself," Your eyes widen a bit at the honesty, giving a casual nod as if it were an everyday occurrence. "However, I didn't know that there were a few men who held grudges against me at the end of the river, so I had to take care of that." He answers, you gave a listening hum at his story.

"That's interesting." You reply, causing him to raise his brows a bit; looking at you as you get up and lift his messy bangs, urging him to take off his facial bandages. "Yep, I'm assuming you get a lot of cases like me?" You wipe his bleeding forehead, causing him to pinch a brown eye shut, "Not exactly; but I mean, I understand you."

Dazai tilted his head in confusion, crimson blood collecting on the abrasion on his forehead; he seemed rather amused yet surprised. "You do?" the boy asks, you nod your head in response, finishing cleaning the wound. "Elaborate, please." he requests, his brown eyes almost sparkled into yours. As if you two weren't terrifying mafia members, as if the world just for a second; stopped to understand a few dumb teenagers in weird situations.

"Who wants to live in this world anyway?" You ask rhetorically, chuckling a bit as you grab a few bandages and carefully guide them around the side of his face. The brunette for a second, was caught off guard; no one underestimated the Demon Prodigy, the greatest mistake for Dazai's enemies is that, they're Dazai's enemies, no? But, this time it was different, just one sentence and accomodating gesture, and he felt a knot tighten in his stomach. Weridly enough, Dazai hummed in satisfaction and fluttered his eyes shut.

"I see." He replies, you finished wrapping the bandage around his head and take off your gloves, feeling satisfied with the mutual agreement. "[Y/N], right?" the brunette asks casually, causing you to nod your head in agreement. "Yeah."

"Would you like to elope out of the mafia with m-"

Dazai Osamu, that fucking womanizer.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #spotify #15 light novel bsd #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #15 dazai #15 dazai x reader #Spotify

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elizais · 8 months

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"an honorary girl!"

chuuya comes to your girl's night chuu x fem reader, no warnings?? summary, chuuya comes to your girls night dividers by v6que

chuuya had come to pick you up from a girl's lunch, and was greeted by your friend group and you in the cafe. "hey doll," he greeted you, taking off his gloves and putting them in his pockets. something he always done prior to holding hands with you.

"hey chuu!!" you smiled as you stood up. you had already paid your part of the bill. your friends smiled at chuuya as he treated you like an absolute princess, grabbing your bag for you.

"oh, y/n! girls night is on for saturday, do you need it to be moved for a different date?" one of your friends asked, and chuuya pretended to act shocked. "am i not invited?" he teased you.

the same friend added, "well, if you bring work gossip and good food and drinks we can consider you being an honorary girl.." the rest of the group burst out laughing as chuuya took the offer. "you bet."

and that was what left you here. telling your boyfriend that fluffy pajamas were mandatory for girl's night. "but we aren't even sleeping around kiyoko's? everyone is leaving at midnight." he argued, not understanding it was crucial to be in fluffy pjs.

"that is not the point, love. it is just more fun in pjs!! at least change in to some plaid bottoms and a graphic tee..." you whined, "okay, princess." he sighed.

the drive over was full of you explaining what would happen. which of your friends will choose the movie today, boy drama, snacks.. all of it!

so, when you arrived that was just what happened. all of the girls seemed to be entertained by chuuya's presence, finding it hilarious he actually turned up.

beauty and the beast was switched on to mindlessly play in the background as chiyo began the gossip. her and her ex had been talking again and was asking the girls (+ chuuya) for advice.

"no, yeah! he just completely blanked me a week ago when we bumped into each other but then he is messaging me asking how my day was? i just don't get it!" she groaned, the group of girls sat in a circle as chuuya sat down after grabbing chips from the kitchen.

he sat next to you as he spoke, "maybe he didn't think how to react when he saw you in the mall?" he suggested. promptly earning a smack to the face with a pillow from you.

"chuuya, boys are stupid. like yeah you're a guy but it's just different! y/n basically trained you as a boyfriend." kiyoko shrugged, explaining why you smacked him.

the other girls hummed in agreement before another spoke through giggles, "chuuya.. do you have any boy drama??" she joked. you knew just how to tease your boyfriend.

"oh, yes he does! tell them about daz-" you rallied before he cut you off. "don't get me started. it started when we were like.. fifteen but that mackerel just doesn't keep himself out of danger!!" he complained.

"who's mackerel?" another girl asked. chuuya answered, "this guy who like i used to be partners with but then he blew up my car so we aren't really on the best of terms.." he began to ramble.

the rest of the night chuuya truly experienced an authentic 'girls night'. a delicacy that cannot be replicated. gasps of shock. food thrown. gossip spread.. he has never seen such a rollercoaster of emotions in the best way imaginable.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader

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suzena · 1 year

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Complete Dead Apple Explanation

Or: “The Ultimate Guide to Dead Apple”.

Warning: this is a long post! I’m not kidding, I worked on this for three months. There is a TL;DR at the end but it will only briefly cover the most important points.

I see posts about Dead Apple not being understood far too often and so I’m introducing: this explanation! I do want to preface this by saying that I can completely understand that this movie can be confusing. Or, as Fyodor said it:

But, as someone who has seen it many times, I’m here to shed some light on it! Hopefully after this post it’ll all make a bit more sense, and you’ll at least have different questions.

If you haven’t watched the movie yet and are wondering when to watch it, the story officially takes place between season two and three, though you’ll be able to watch season three with no issues if you haven’t watched the movie. Please do note that this post will contain light spoilers for the plot after season two, so don’t read it if you haven’t at least finished catching up to the anime.

I’ll try not to summarize the movie, but instead explain it. That means that this post does not replace the movie, but instead tries to elaborate upon it and tries to place it in the larger plot. Most of the early movie is therefore ignored, but please do not hesitate to ask if you have extra questions, comments, different interpretations or you want me to go into more detail about something. I may not know everything, but I’m always down to talk about this movie!

Alright, with all of that out of the way…

The Dragon Head Conflict

We’ll start at the beginning, which is to say, we’ll start at the prologue, which can be found as a permanent event in Mayoi (and also as a part of the Dead Apple manga). This is not technically needed to understand most of the movie, but it does give some context that will make it a little easier, since this is where it all starts.

The Dragon Head Conflict, sometimes also translated as the Ryuuzu Conflict, is (as the movie states) the largest conflict in the history of Yokohama’s underworld. It took place six years ago, and originally was about five hundred billion yen an ability user left behind after they died, which various organizations were very interested in. It lasted for a total of 88 days, and involved conflict between eight different underworld organizations, including among others the Port Mafia, Gelhart Security Service/GSS (from Fifteen) and Takasekai (also from Fifteen).

Now as you can imagine, the government isn’t super stoked that gangs are shooting each other up all night and leaving corpses everywhere, to the point where the sidewalk is torn up from the bullet holes. To try to combat this, they thought that they could best fight fire with fire, and let a strong ability user from outside Yokohama settle this conflict all at once.

This new ability user, known as the “White Qilin”, unfortunately doesn’t really care about ending the conflict and kills other strong ability users left and right just for the fun of it, contrary to what the government had hoped he would do. Whether they are uninvolved parties or Port Mafia executives, it doesn’t matter to this guy. The White Qilin also ends up taking the money the conflict was originally about, but that doesn’t stop his murder spree. In this way, the White Qilin gains control over the entire conflict pretty fast, making him the main target to eliminate in order to put a stop to the killings.

Dazai approaches this problem similarly as to how he did during the conflict of Stormbringer, with a group of ability users to overpower the lone individual, but gets his plan twisted on him and gets kidnapped instead. Naturally, he predicted this outcome, leaving a hint for Chuuya where he left a transmitter for a tracking device so that Chuuya could come rescue him.

This is then the first scene of the movie, where Dazai and Chuuya confront and defeat the White Qilin using Corruption, and the whole Dragon Head Conflict ends since the White Qilin is finally gone and all the money burned. This battle is so iconic in the underground circles that it gains them the name “Double Black”, or “Soukoku”.

A few small notes on the Dragon Head Conflict before we move on.

As can also be seen in the first scene of the movie, this is where Oda adopts all five of those kids you see during the Dark Age, which was also already stated in the Dark Age itself.

“I heard all about it, Odasaku. You’re raising five kids, huh? And not only that, they’re orphans from the Dragon’s Head Conflict.” ―Dazai, Dark Age

Also, ever wondered why the Port Mafia is the only major criminal organization in Yokohama? There actually used to be five in total but four of them completely perished during the Dragon Head Conflict. Another reason why Dazai & Chuuya ending the conflict is so impressive, since because of that the Port Mafia is the only one to even survive it at all.

Shibusawho?

As you’ve probably guessed by now, the “White Qilin”, also named “the Collector” in Dead Apple itself, are both different names for our main antagonist: Shibusawa Tatsuhiko. The government had good reason to believe Shibusawa would be able to stand against the entire Yokohama underground and come out on top: his ability.

Shibusawa’s ability, Draconia, creates a fog around him, which separates other ability users from their own ability and makes non-ability users disappear as long as the fog persists. When surrounded by this fog, ability users are confronted with this version of their ability that is split from themselves. If an ability user is to die within this fog, their ability will be added to Draconia’s collection room.

There is decent evidence that it takes a while before the fog activates, so the effect isn’t immediate. This can be seen with Chuuya, who makes very short contact with the fog before he lifts up the building that he shoves in the Dragon’s mouth, but it’s seen even more clearly with Atsushi and Kyouka at the start of the movie. They spend a small while running around Yokohama wondering why everyone is gone before they’re finally confronted with their abilities.

To some extent the separated abilities represent the inner conflict in an ability user. This can of course be clearly found in Atsushi and his shaky connection to the tiger, or in Kyouka who has Demon Snow which is the last remnant of her parents but also murdered them in front of her. But the clearest example of this in the movie is actually Kunikida, since there is a visible change between him and his ability.

The notebook of Kunikida’s ability does not read its usual “理想” (ideals), but instead now says “妥協” (compromise). For Kunikida, a person so tied to his ideals, this version of his ability is an “abomination” (his words, not mine), and thus a source of inner conflict, since it represents a side of Kunikida that he carries within him.

“A copy of himself that didn’t follow ideals but made compromises was an abomination to Kunikida.”―Dead Apple (light novel)

If ability users manage to defeat their abilities in a physical fight, and then also accept these parts of themselves for what they represent, they will regain their ability. For example, Atsushi does not immediately regain his ability after defeating the tiger because he does not completely accept that the tiger represents that he has killed a person. For Atsushi, a person who connects his entire reason of living to saving other people, this is nearly irreconcilable. The only reason he probably is able to get over it in the end is that the person he killed was actively torturing and trying to kill him, so Atsushi had to kill to survive.

Shibusawa, then, is dead. Chronologically, his murder is the earliest you see of him. Fyodor has told Shibusawa that Atsushi contains something that “guides the envy of all ability users”, so Shibusawa, who feels like he is missing something, seeks to take this by any means. This doesn’t work out too hot for him, and Atsushi kills him.

Now a fun thing happens. Since Shibusawa is the center of the fog at all times, so to speak, and he’s the keeper of the abilities that die in his fog, his ability is separated from himself and lives on, nearly indistinguishable from his original body. Only one downside to this: he completely loses his memories.

I can only assume the government steps in at this point to take this strong ability user in his vulnerable state, and then have him solve the Dragon Head Conflict not long after. He most likely also survived Chuuya’s Corruption by being an ability, and having ability crystals in his collection to fall back on and recover, as he also does in Dead Apple. However, all of that is just pure speculation.

After the Dragon Head Conflict, Shibusawa spends some years abroad, casually killing thousands of ability users for the same reason as during the Dragon Head Conflict: just playing around and trying to fill that hole of something that is missing inside of him. The Japanese government mostly does a spectacular and spectacularly unethical job of cleaning up after him, since they learned nothing from the Dragon Head Conflict and still think that they can control him to protect Japan should it ever be invaded by foreign ability users.

Eventually, when the timing is right, Shibusawa gets invited back to Japan by Dazai. At the same time he is told by Fyodor (can you see the manipulation happening on both sides?) that Dazai’s ability is the ultimate ability that will finally complete him, and so Shibusawa eagerly comes to Yokohama.

From here on out, as far as Shibusawa is concerned, it’s just a matter of covering the entire city in fog, killing Dazai and then taking his ability. Since Dazai cancels the fog itself with his ability, Shibusawa does need to kill him first, since the fog will work just fine on a corpse. Unfortunately, Shibusawa, however smart he is, is not in control of the plot in this movie. That control is left entirely to the combination of Dazai and Fyodor.

Intermezzo: Singularity Crash Course

Let’s do a lightning quick crash course on singularities before continuing, because you’re going to need that to understand what is happening in the next part. While Stormbringer was released after Dead Apple, I’m still going to be leaning heavily on and paraphrasing the information provided in that novel since it gives a really nice overview.

Abilities are bound to rules, just like everything else. No organisms other than humans, such as plants or monkeys, can possess an ability. Each human can only have a single ability, and when they die the ability disappears with them. Finally, there is a limit to the strength of any such ability.

But what if you wanted to go beyond that limit? What if you wanted to play with the natural laws of this world? What if you wanted to get really silly with it? Well, in that case, you can try your best at creating a singularity.

Singularities are defined as “the interaction of multiple abilities that develops into a higher-level phenomenon different from the original abilities”. This mostly exhibits itself in a massive release of energy, but rarely there are semi-stable versions of them. Singularities aren’t bound to conventional rules, and can be much more powerful for that exact reason.

As for creating singularities, there are two defined ways. The most reliable method is to have two contradicting abilities clash with each other. This leads to fun mental exercises, think “unstoppable force meets immovable object”, or, two ability users who can both see a few seconds into the future fighting to the death (sound familiar?). As a second method, an ability can also contradict itself, essentially causing the same result, but it’s a lot more finicky.

“Dead Apple”

The latter part of the movie revolves around exactly the creation of such a singularity, as all planned out by Fyodor, and accurately anticipated by Dazai. Let’s lay out all the layers of this.

Shibusawa is after Dazai’s ability. Meanwhile, Dazai is trying to stop the fog to save Yokohama. As for Fyodor, we’ll get to him in a second.

Dazai “teams up” with Fyodor and betrays Shibusawa to put a stop to the fog. The idea of this is that Fyodor combines two abilities from Shibusawa’s collection, which Dazai can’t do himself without canceling them: the ability to pull abilities in a surrounding area close, and the ability to merge abilities together. When these two are merged, together they create an ability that will absorb Shibusawa’s entire collection, and then Dazai only has to touch this ability to effectively get rid of Shibusawa’s power source.

There is a specific reason why it has to happen like this, and Dazai just touching Shibusawa isn’t quite enough. Let’s mentally walk through the process if Dazai were to touch Shibusawa. The fog disappears for a bit (and Shibusawa with it, most likely), but Shibusawa now knows Dazai’s intentions. Fyodor will take Shibusawa’s side and now Dazai is at a large disadvantage. Ultimately, it doesn’t even solve the problem. We know from the Dragon Head Conflict that just destroying Shibusawa’s body is most likely not enough, and he will be able to resummon the fog (and his body) with time and energy. The problem needs to be cut off at the root, the ability crystals.

Unfortunately, Fyodor didn’t really team up with Dazai, instead choosing to team up with Shibusawa in order to get rid of Dazai. This is then where Shibusawa gets to kill Dazai, and discovers that wait, Dazai’s ability may not be what he’s seeking after all. However, the abilities are already merged, and Dazai’s ability joins them. This combines “the ability to merge” with “the ability to nullify”, which don’t exactly mix well. Does Dazai’s ability become part of the other ability? Does his ability nullify the merging ability before that can happen? It’s already part of it, but at the same time the merging can never happen. It’s contradictory, and thus a singularity is born.

Fyodor, meanwhile, hasn’t quite had his fill of betrayal yet, and decides to remind Shibusawa of what he is by killing him, reminding Shibusawa of his earlier death by Atsushi’s paw. All of this, killing Dazai and using his ability to create a singularity, having that power from the singularity then go into Shibusawa to create the Dragon, all of that was part of Fyodor’s plan. Shibusawa is only able to cover an entire city with fog because of the large amount of ability crystals he has collected, and so with enough power (like from a singularity) he can cover the entire world in this fog. Up until this point, neither Fyodor nor Shibusawa have seen a single ability user survive the fog, and thus it is the perfect method for getting rid of all ability users in the world, which does seem to be Fyodor’s end goal.

However, Chuuya swoops in and defeats the Dragon. Dazai was well prepared and had the antidote to the poison he was killed with hidden in his mouth, so he is alive and well again. That means that Dazai has his ability back and it cancels out the singularity space they both are in. It doesn’t completely get rid of the Dragon however, as some energy still lingers around the tower.

Fyodor is still on the scene, and uses a part of the merging crystal that he saved which was used earlier to create the singularity to merge Shibusawa with the singularity, giving Shibusawa a very anime transformation into his final form.

At this point, as a result of Shibusawa’s transformation, the fog turns red. If this red fog then covers the entire planet as Fyodor is hoping, and you were to watch it from space, it would look just like a poisonous red apple. The name of the movie therefore refers to this plan of using Shibusawa to rid the world of ability users.

This idea of poisonous apples in this movie comes from two different sources. From Fyodor’s side, it is referring to the apple Eve ate in the Bible, the original sin. For Fyodor, there is poetic irony in this: the world will end with the same sin as it began with. The crime is the punishment. On Dazai’s side, it refers to Snow White, who bit the poison apple and died (temporarily). He already talks about this to Oda when he is sixteen, vaguely implying he knew all of this was coming as soon as he met Shibusawa during the Dragon Head Conflict. Since Fyodor was already around at that time and also had a hand in enabling Shibusawa originally, this may indeed be planned out this far in advance, but it’s always hard to tell with these guys.

Then the kids take over the fight for the rest of the movie, and Atsushi, Akutagawa and Kyouka work together to defeat Shibusawa’s final form in the form of a long, epic final fight. Shibusawa is finally defeated and it all ends happily ever after.

The End.

Byakko VS The Dragon

…Or is it? You thought we covered the entire basic layer of the movie, so we’re done now, right? Think again! This is only where things start to become really interesting. Please note that this section will take some ideas that were already pointed out by other people, and build on those.

When looking at lore relevance of characters, Atsushi may not immediately spring to mind as one of the most important ones. Sure, he’s the protagonist of the main manga, but in comparison to the mystery surrounding Dazai or Fyodor he fades a little into the background.

Even in this post, an explanation about a movie that’s basically about Atsushi, I’m able to explain the basics of the movie without mentioning him much at all. And yet, the movie’s core conflict is not between Shibusawa, Dazai and Fyodor, but between Shibusawa and Atsushi.

While there isn’t a lot of information given about Shibusawa’s and Atsushi’s connection, what we do get is very interesting. Shibusawa is consistently referred to as a Dragon during Dead Apple, and while subtitles usually translate everything as “tiger”, Atsushi’s tiger is actually referred to as “Byakko” half of the time.

Now what is the difference between any good ol’ normal tiger and the Byakko, I hear you ask. The Byakko is much more than an ordinary tiger, since it is part of the 四神 (shijin/ shishin), the Four Guardians of the Four Compass Directions, which the Dragon is also a part of. What you essentially need to know from this is that the Byakko belongs to the same group of creatures as the Dragon, and that this solidifies Shibusawa’s status as Atsushi’s foil in this movie.

It also allows us to make a direct comparison between Shibusawa and Atsushi. The thing is, I have been lying to you a little bit. So far, I’ve been calling the Dragon a singularity. The truth is, it may not be. I know, I know, if it’s not a singularity, then what was that whole Dragon thing about?

Fyodor actually specifically tells us that the Dragon isn’t a singularity, but instead it’s “the true form of the chaos born from abilities”. (Note here that the Dead Apple light novel talks about Fyodor as if he is “reciting some Oracle”. Did Fyodor get this information from someone else?) Is this related to why Fyodor wants abilities gone from this world? Is there another layer to abilities and other creatures that BSD hasn’t even touched upon (think Lovecraft)? It’s hard to say at this point. All we can say is that the Dragon gets referred to as something else, and… that the Dragon is similar to the Byakko.

The tiger ability we see that got separated from Atsushi in the movie actually doesn’t follow the rules the other abilities do. It has a clearly defined face, and the red gem is not on its forehead. The gem found on the ability tiger is also red, which is in line with the other extracted abilities we see, but what gets extracted from Atsushi by Shibusawa is this blue cube. The weirdness continues in the flashback we see of Atsushi being tortured by Shibusawa.

We see Atsushi’s ability leave him, but then in a flash of self protection instinct, he partially transforms into the tiger, claws and all, while the blue gem is outside of his body. Earlier in the movie it is shown that if an ability is extracted from an ability user, they no longer have access to the powers of that ability. Then how is Atsushi able to use his tiger abilities here?

Granted, there is a bit of conflicting information within the movie about this, since during the final fight with Shibusawa this blue cube is once again extracted from Atsushi, but now he does lose his tiger powers. Could he resummon the tiger while not in possession of the cube if the situation is dire enough? Is this just a psychological thing because Atsushi is aware of it this time? Who can say. At any rate, this blue cube is connected deeply with Atsushi, but the clues given imply that it may not be the Byakko itself.

“That’s not an ability! That is me!”―Atsushi, reaching out to the blue cube in Dead Apple

To be honest, the movie does very little in explaining anything around Atsushi, instead raising more questions than answers. For that exact reason, the rest of this section will mostly be speculation about one possible angle on Atsushi’s ability that personally makes sense to me, but of course this is only one potential theory.

I do also want to add here that Atsushi personally goes through an arc in this movie from seeing the tiger as something separate to something that is intrinsically part of him. This can also be a reason for this final exclamation of “that’s me!” when he reaches out to the blue cube, but it doesn’t explain everything, which is why we explore an alternate possibility here.

My take on it is that the Byakko and this blue gem that get extracted from Atsushi are not the same thing. With the side note here being that they are probably deeply connected, but not the same regardless.

My reasoning for this is that everything Atsushi-related you see in Dead Apple makes a little more sense when you consider the Byakko and the blue cube as two separate entities. The Byakko’s gem is red, the cube is blue. The Byakko is framed as something separate from Atsushi, while he claims the cube is not an ability but he himself. Atsushi had access to the Byakko while the blue cube was outside of him. Shibusawa even makes a point of mentioning that the orphanage director, who correctly thought Atsushi was the tiger, had the wrong idea about Atsushi’s ability. The Byakko is definitely Atsushi’s ability, but this blue cube is… something else.

And yet, the tiger is also deeply connected to whatever this blue gem is. Currently, one theory that makes sense to me is that the tiger is an ability that can be passed on, just like Demon Snow, that has the specific task of protecting the power of this blue gem. So, a two in one deal. Atsushi also gets referred to as “the one holding the Byakko ability” by Ivan, which would be in line with the Byakko being an ability that can be passed on as needed. Shibusawa makes a similar statement, calling Atsushi “the one clad in the Byakko”. Atsushi also has issues controlling his ability before joining the ADA, just like Kyouka and Tsujimura, who both also inherited their abilities. I would love to further speculate on this, but there is so little information on anything relating to this, so anything further would be completely baseless.

However, there is one more different clue given to us by the movie. Namely, what this comparison to the Dragon means for Atsushi as the one holding the Byakko.

Almost in the same breath as Shibusawa is recounting Fyodor’s words about the Dragon being the chaos of all abilities, the holder of the Byakko also gets its own description about its true form: the one opposing all abilities.

This relates to what the blue cube may really be. What Atsushi does to Shibusawa in his final moments is what I essentially believe to be this blue cube’s true power: it completely unravels an ability. The blue power eats up everything supernatural about Shibusawa until only his natural skull is left.

If you think this sounds familiar, it kind of does! I cannot ignore the similarity to Dazai here, though I do have to point out that Dazai can only cancel out an ability, and this blue cube power seems to… completely erase the ability itself, leaving no trace of it. The similarity to Dazai is further found the moment Dazai dies and his ability leaves his body. At first, his ability is white and vaguely similar to the blue cube before deciding that nope, this is just barely not it.

I have a hard time connecting this to anything larger simply because the series does not give a lot of clues on this subject. How did abilities come to be? How is the Book related to that, since it is not an ability or borne from an ability? And how does Atsushi factor into this?

Shibusawa has been led to Atsushi since he believed Atsushi would grant him something special, something he had been looking for all this time. “That which every ability user desires.”

This is actually a familiar story! This is not the first time Fyodor has led someone to Atsushi with the premise that he would be able to lead them to what they were seeking. The first two seasons of the anime follow that specific idea, of Fitzgerald wanting Atsushi so he can lead him to the Book.

The tiger as the guide to the Book is something emphasized again and again. While in English it gets translated as “guide”, the original manga panel said “道標（タイガービートル）”, or, “guidepost (pronounced: tiger beetle, in English)”. While this is partially just a funny pun, it also once again points to the tiger specifically as a guide.

It did leave me to wonder about the absence of a certain scene in the series. Fyodor has been sending other people to Atsushi for the entire length of the series, but has never interacted with Atsushi himself. For someone who claims to be looking for the Book, and knows that Atsushi is somehow the guide to the Book, isn’t that a bit weird? Is there a reason Fyodor won’t interact with Atsushi himself? Fyodor knew about Atsushi way before he joined the ADA, so it’s not like Dazai is particularly standing in the way here.

Regardless, this factor that makes Atsushi so special may very well be this blue cube. How does the power to completely undo abilities lead to the Book? Who knows. We simply do not know enough about the Book or the origin of abilities to say more about this. Maybe the true power of the blue cube is something else entirely.

What does all of this mean? Where will it all lead? Only the future (Asagiri) can tell.

The Unexplained and Weird

Welcome to the section I’d fondly refer to as “a collection of things I have no explanation for”. There is plenty of that in this movie, but I do want to touch upon them since not being explainable as of currently does not necessarily mean that they aren’t important in the future. Also, not having an explanation for these things is driving me insane and I need to share in my suffering. Let’s go! :)

Let’s get the big thing out of the way first.

Mukurotoride, my friend, my enemy. For those unaware, Mukurotoride is the name of the large black tower that Shibusawa, Dazai and Fyodor were chilling in for most of the movie. The name gets translated as “Skull Fortress”, but the kanji used gives the name more of a “Dead Man’s Castle” feeling, since it refers to a person long since dead more than a skull. My problem with this tower is as follows: it doesn’t make any sense. Whatsoever.

Why is it there? Fifteen establishes it��s there seven years before the current timeline, so a year before Shibusawa dies. I would’ve accepted it if the tower was a weird side effect of Shibusawa dying or something, but the current facts point towards this tower not having anything to do with Shibusawa at all. It’s also very decayed. How long has it been there? Who put it there? Is it relevant that it’s right next to Suribachi? Or in the Yokohama foreign settlement? (Side note: foreign settlements have not been a thing since 1899. What’s up with Yokohama having a foreign settlement?) No one seems to know anything about this tower, not even in the Japanese community. And then in-universe, everyone also seems okay with this wildly out-of-place tower that looks like it’s made out of human bones being there in the middle of the city? It’s giving me Sky Casino vibes.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, we can talk about Fyodor’s ability.

I want to start this part by explaining my personal stance on the current Fyodor theories, since it influences how I talk about what is shown of his ability in Dead Apple. There are a bunch of theories about Fyodor having an insta-kill ability that only works on non-ability users. Personally, I don’t subscribe to this theory, and I have multiple reasons for this.

First, I don’t think we’ve ever seen Fyodor’s ability being used. At the end of Cannibalism a cop dies as soon as he touches Fyodor. In the manga abilities don’t have a special shine effect, but in the anime they do. However, in the anime there was no ability-shine here.

A stronger argument, perhaps, is that this happens right in front of Dazai, and Dazai immediately afterwards says he has no clue what Fyodor’s ability could be. He could be lying, of course, but since this is a common enemy he shares with Fitzgerald, who is the one asking him about Fyodor’s ability, I don’t see any reason for him to do so here. The whole murder reads a little bit like Fyodor just putting on a show for Dazai.

Finally, from a narrative viewpoint, killing with a touch is a little… useless? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s convenient, I guess, when you’re a terrorist who seeks to exterminate part of the global population. But there are many ways to kill a person, and Fyodor has shown time after time that he doesn’t need to rely on an ability to murder people.

The strongest argument for the insta-kill ability in my opinion is Fyodor himself saying “this is my true ability” before killing that kid who was enslaved by Ace. However, this may also be part of something else that is going on with Fyodor, in a way that is perhaps very similar to Atsushi.

Alright. Whether you agree with that or not is up to you. To get back to the movie, there are a few interesting clues provided about Fyodor’s ability.

The first is of course Fyodor’s iconic line when his ability shows up on screen: “Crime and Punishment are close friends.” Everything he says after that point is already referring to Shibusawa again, so this is the only clue he himself is willing to offer up. If we consider that the abilities that get split from their users represent inner conflict, all he is saying here is that he apparently has no inner conflict. Does he know something else about the world? Does he just know who he is? Honestly, I don’t think we’ll get anywhere talking about Fyodor’s mental state.

Then there is the “I am Crime”, spoken by Fyodor holding the skull, and “I am Punishment”, spoken by his ability holding the apple. This one is slightly more straightforward. The ability user being the crime, and the ability the punishment. I’m not 100% sure if this is actually referring to Fyodor himself, or if it’s just about Shibusawa again. The skull (Shibusawa, an ability user) being the crime, and then the apple (covering the world with fog through Shibusawa’s ability, thus punishing ability users) being the punishment makes sense when viewed like this, but it could be that Fyodor is somehow also referring to himself during these lines.

Okay, if Fyodor is apparently not willing to open up, we can gather some more info just from what we can see instead of what we’re told. Most of what this part covers is taken from these excellent posts, but I’ll summarize it here for the sake of completion. Fyodor’s ability looks different compared to most other abilities. Most of the abilities shown in the movie have a blank face without any features, and have their gem on their forehead. The exception to that first part, interestingly enough, is Elise, Mori’s ability. This is most likely because she has physical form as an ability to begin with. Which then raises the question: does Fyodor’s ability also have a physical form outside of the fog? His ability looks identical, so that would imply some sort of clone ability. Next to this, Fyodor’s epithet is “The Conjurer”, which would be in line with him being able to create another copy of himself. (Though I should add here that the Japanese seems to just refer to him as “魔神”, which can be any type of evil spirit. However, if I’m not mistaken, the “Conjurer” should be from the official translation, but let me know if I’m mistaken on that.)

Finally, there is the position of the gem on Fyodor’s ability. Nearly all other abilities have their gem on their forehead, but for some reason Fyodor’s ability has his on his hand. The only other ability that has its gem not on its forehead is… the Byakko. I don’t have an explanation for this one, but the weirdness should be pointed out, since it’s another way in which Fyodor’s ability deviates from the others.

Next to the above, there are two other weird details I want to quickly touch upon.

First, the knives in the apples in the dish in Mukuroride, as well as the apples with a knife in them in general, as they are the theme of this movie. I believe this to be of a more metaphorical touch, so we won’t read too much into it, but it does have physical consequences that tie back to the title as well.

This exact shot is used four times throughout the movie, but with a varying amount of knives stuck in the apples. It starts with one, then two, then three. The room starts with just Dazai, then Shibusawa enters, then Fyodor. With each of them showing up, another knife appears in an apple. This is then a metaphor for these three being the instigators behind the Dead Apple incident. These knives in the apples can also be seen as their calling cards, as they were left both at the bar and at the scene of the crime where that agent was killed who was supposed to meet with Kunikida and Tanizaki.

In a later scene, it cuts again to this frame, but a knife and the skull has disappeared. These both get taken by Fyodor. The knife is used eventually to kill Shibusawa, but Shibusawa also took one of these knives to kill Dazai with. Either way, these knives that have been in these apples are used to murder, once again corroborating the connection between death and apples.

And finally, the relevance of the moon.

There are a few impressive shots of the moon in Dead Apple, where the moon is shown to be enormous, to the point where even the light novel points out how extraordinarily large it is. The novel also points out that the blue cube crystal holds a similarity to the moonlight. Just symbolism to show that it’s connected to Atsushi, or something more? The other side of the page in the main series will also only be written on the night… of the next full moon.

The Point of It All

I hear a lot of “Dead Apple doesn’t matter to the plot, just watch it for the Soukoku scenes and move on”. And while I do agree that it’s not mandatory viewing to understand the storyline that corresponds with season three onwards, I do think there is more to Dead Apple than most people give it credit for.

I always like to ask myself after reading a book or watching a movie: “Okay, so what was the point of that? What was I meant to take away from this?”

For example, in essence Stormbringer is a case study on singularities. Likewise, BEAST is a study into the limits of the Book, and all other side stories similarly have a message, however big or small.

So what does Dead Apple establish? Why bother?

I hope by now you agree that Dead Apple seems to be the introduction to explaining more as to what is so special about Atsushi. This seems to go deeper into chapter 28/29 of the manga, or season 2 episode 8 of the anime, where Atsushi also has some weird things going on with the tiger. What this exactly is, or where this seems to be going is unclear for now, but the Dead Apple definitely emphasizes Atsushi’s importance as well as the concept that there can be something more than just abilities.

In-universe, there are also reasons for this conflict to happen.

Most likely both Dazai and Fyodor knew the end result long before the conflict ever started. It’s their reunion in a way, so I suppose they are both seeing how the other’s condition is at the moment. They may even have gathered some intel somehow? It’s almost like collecting metadata, they won’t have a direct conversation about important things, but they try to collect information just by seeing how the other acts, to see if the other lies within prediction.

Aside from that, on Dazai’s side, except for foiling Fyodor’s plan and keeping Yokohama safe, the Shin Soukoku dynamic also gets strengthened, something Dazai is actively working on. On Fyodor’s side, next to giving the whole “eliminating all ability users” a good honest shot, he also gets to collect a lot of intel on the opposing side. For example, Fyodor in Dead Apple gets to see Corruption up close, which may potentially be relevant.

Finally, from a storytelling perspective, it sets up a lot for the third season, especially in character interactions and relationships, e.g. Atsushi & Akutagawa, Dazai & Chuuya, Kyouka, Fukuzawa & Mori. It should be noted that some characters literally have been intentionally regressed to make the ending make more impact. Whether that was a good decision or not is not why I’m here. You should just know that it’s intentional. You could chalk it up to Atsushi losing his ability impacting him and his behavior a lot, if you wanted to justify it somehow. The Order of the Clock Tower also gets its first anime appearance, showing Agatha Christie on screen, who will most likely play a more important role later on. Likewise, Dead Apple is the introduction to Fyodor as a villain, where you get to see him for more than just a few flashes.

Trivia and Fun Details

I suppose this section is skippable. But who doesn’t love trivia? This is by no means an exhaustive list of everything included in this movie, but rather an overview of what I personally caught, understood and thought relevant to include.

The “Dragon Head” in the Dragon Head Conflict refers to a Qilin, which are said to have similar heads to dragons. Since the conflict centered around the White Qilin, this is where that name comes from.

At some point Akutagawa and Kyouka use a mafia code to refer to a passageway. The code “0505” refers back to Atsushi’s birthday.

The symbol ᛟ found on the outfits of the Mukurotoride squad refers to inheritage, since Shibusawa inherited his own ability. More information about that here.

Dazai at some point meows at Fyodor. This is a very sassy way of telling Fyodor that he will personally eradicate all of Fyodor’s rats in Yokohama, including Fyodor himself. (The light novel calls it a “tedious” meow. Lmao.)

The music from Dead Apple seems to be recycled in season three of the anime. I’m guessing to save on budget?

Atsushi’s door that he eventually opens to unlock his hidden memories has its own music motif that shows up every time he thinks about Shibusawa, the fog or his memories associated with killing him. Try to pay attention to this, it’s really cool.

The motif of the door is also a tune that sounds a lot like the track named Dead Apple, further showing Atsushi’s relevance in his movie.

The lyrics of the soundtrack tell their own story. When the Dead Apple plot first takes off and Dazai is at bar Lupin, a song called My Prince plays telling of Snow White who is sleeping and waiting for her prince. However, it seems to be a spin on the classic, where indeed Snow White chose to knowingly bite the apple knowing it was poisoned, in much the same way as Dazai knew he was going to be poisoned in Dead Apple. Le Cheval Noir tells of how bored the singer is, and how nothing is special to them anymore. This plays during the scene where Dazai talks to Shibusawa, showing Shibusawa’s apathy towards everything. Mein Prinz, the song that plays as Dazai gets backstabbed, is nearly exactly the same song as My Prince, but now more dramatic and in German. This is a clue that Dazai saw this coming from before the Dead Apple conflict even started, and it’s now up to Chuuya again to save him. Overall, Dazai is leaning into the Snow White aesthetic hard in Dead Apple.

And finally, a list of everything the light novel insists refers to the theme of poisonous red apples: the red apples with the knives in them, apple suicide, the merged abilities producing a red sphere, the singularity that results from that in all its forms and the planet covered in red fog. If it’s red and spherical, you can just assume it should represent a deathly apple.

TD;DR

Recapped extremely briefly:

The Dragon Head Conflict introduces Shibusawa as a villain who was kept by the government but went off the rails. Shibusawa’s ability is a fog that splits ability users from their abilities. If ability users die, Shibusawa obtains their ability. Shibusawa died and inherited his own ability, also causing him to lose his memory. Therefore he wants to obtain Dazai's ability in order to gain what he feels he lacks. Dazai betrays Shibusawa together with Fyodor by combining abilities. However, Shibusawa kills Dazai first, adding Dazai's ability to the merged abilities creating a singularity. Fyodor kills Shibusawa, causing him to regain his memory of being previously killed by Atsushi. A dragon is created and defeated, and Fyodor's plan is revealed to be the covering of the entire planet in Shibusawa's fog, killing all ability users. This plan is foiled, but Atsushi is shown to have potentially another power next to his ability (the tiger). This power is possibly the ability to completely unravel abilities, and may be what makes Atsushi the guide to the Book. Mukurotoride is completely left unexplained in the movie, but there are clues given about Fyodor's ability that point away from an insta-kill ability, and more towards a clone type ability.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dead apple #dead apple #bsd analysis #bungou stray dogs analysis #posted this also on reddit but. i forgor to post it on here. whoopsie.#glad i got this all written out though #like a weight lifted from my shoulders #this is actually longer than the reddit version so rejoice! you're getting the premium version #here's to hoping it shows up in the tags! 🙏🏻#suzenanalysis

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