sage-a-licious

[sage-a-licious]

Just learned my grandma has never eaten a bagel😂. She’s also never had pizza or a burrito but I already knew those.

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Now I’m hearing that the weight loss drugs reduce inflammation and I’m giving them a second look.

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it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever

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My aunt keeps alluding to the fact that I’m not telling her enough about my mom. I’m of the opinion that if you know she almost died and is in a skilled nursing facility that’s enough. Also, she said she cares about my mom, which I find very hard to believe.

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Got a good night’s sleep and have enough energy to color! I’m trying techniques I’ve seen others use. Don’t mind my first try at grass.

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My mom got released from the emergency room late last night and is back in the skilled nursing facility. Her discharge from the skilled nursing facility has been canceled and hopefully we can get her in much better shape before they try to kick her out again. I would like off this nightmare roller coaster as soon as possible please.

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Yesterday was A DAY. I woke up early and drove down to Orange County to take my mom to her post-op appointment. We get there and despite being told many times that someone would help me get my mom out of the car and into a wheelchair, they said they do not do that. So now that appointment has been rescheduled. Then I again tried to get her primary care doctor’s office to let her make an appointment and fill out her FMLA paperwork. First they said they couldn’t verify her insurance. So I emailed them the front and back of the insurance card. Then they gave me a different email address. Then the person who answered the phone didn’t have access to the email. Oh that other email is for the other office. Here’s that number. No one answers that phone. Now they say that doctor listed on your card is actually not your primary care physician so why are you still bothering us? Oh the insurance called and made us double check and now he is your doctor. We don’t have any appointments until the end of February though.

I asked them to put her on a waitlist in case there’s a cancellation so we can get in sooner.

Then today I’m trying to rest because tomorrow my mom is supposed to be released and I’ll have a million things to do. But then her friend calls and says my mom is in excruciating pain and going to the emergency room.

I feel like the ground is constant moving under me.

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deep rooted respect for women who openly get mad and are okay w being perceived as bitchy

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I found some pine cones to use instead.

We’ve entered the rage portion of today. I’m still with my mom and she’s gabbing on the phone to her (awful) sister so I took a walk to try to shake it off. I’m mad at people. At the world. At myself. I wish I had some ice cubes to throw at the ground.

[sage-a-licious]

We’ve entered the rage portion of today. I’m still with my mom and she’s gabbing on the phone to her (awful) sister so I took a walk to try to shake it off. I’m mad at people. At the world. At myself. I wish I had some ice cubes to throw at the ground.

[sage-a-licious]

Apparently today is the 30th anniversary of the theatrical release of Before Sunrise. The movie that has given me unrealistic expectations about exploring Europe. I love it so much.

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Oh my god. So we called my mom’s roommates to tell them we ordered some stuff for when she comes home and it might be happening this week. And they were all, “Oh no. We’re getting our tub reglazed on Friday and no one can be in the apartment for 3 days.” A normal person would reschedule that, right? Well, my mom doesn’t even want to ask because of her roommate’s reaction to her asking to give me a key. So now we have to find somewhere else for her to stay this weekend. We asked a friend down here in Orange County but her extra bedrooms are upstairs. So then I asked my aunt if she could stay in my grandma’s second bedroom. And she turned me down. It’s my mom. Like what the fuck? I was so upset. She’s always asking what she could do to help but then when I ask she doesn’t want to do it.

Anyway, my mom’s friend in LA said she can stay there and it’s pretty close to my aunt’s house so we’ll do that. I’m a little worried about the crooked sidewalk over there and getting my mom inside but I guess we’ll just go very slowly.

[sage-a-licious]

I got to the skilled nursing facility early and took care of some business so I’m feeling a little less stressed and more in control. She’s not being released until like Wednesday or Thursday so that’s a relief. We ordered some stuff for her apartment. I’m keeping a list of questions. I do have to come back to take her to a post-op appointment on Wednesday morning so that was a surprise. You’d think they could assist with that but I guess not.

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Tomorrow I’m going to have to get my shit together and be an adult for my mom. I have to figure out when she’s being released from the skilled nursing facility. I thought they said 14 days which would be tomorrow. So then we need a bunch of stuff for when she goes home. Like walking aids, commode, shower chair and diapers and stuff. Some might be covered by her insurance so I have to figure that out. And she needs food. And I’m still dealing with her doctor’s office. I need to check on her short term disability. It’s a lot.

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Aunt: What can I do to help you?

Me: tells her a thing

Aunt: not that

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My mom wants to watch the news and they are covering the Trump press conference or suck up meeting or whatever. Trying not to rage out at every dumbass thing he says.

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Watching Bluey while my mom sleeps in the hospital bed next to me. What is this life?