sage-a-licious

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Finally got to meet my friend’s baby, Lucas!

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Hey, also, all the anarchist shit aside, tomorrow I want you to make something.

I forced myself to draw something after the 2016 election. I forced myself to draw something when my mother died in 2018. I forced myself to draw something when my spouse was hospitalized for multiple organ failure in 2021.

When you are miserable, make something. Add a row to your project, bake a box cake, draw on a sheet of lined paper, write a poem on a napkin, fold an origami shirt out of a dollar bill, make your favorite recipe for dinner, but make something with your hands, something that you can hold and look at engage your senses in.

It won't fix the world, but it will change the world. You will have made something that didn't exist before. You will have impacted your reality, even in a very small way. And it is going to be something you made *after.* Something bad happened, something shook you, and you made something after, in spite of it.

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Else Fitzgerald, from "Everything Feels Like the End of The World," publ. in 2022

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Man, I feel like every time I try to get healthier, I find some new ailment I have to deal with. I thought the World Series was giving me headaches but I’m still having them. I tried to look up what kind. I thought it was tension headaches maybe from grinding my teeth. But today it’s only on the left side of my head and I’m light sensitive and nauseated. Is this a migraine? Do I get migraines? I hope not. I don’t want it.

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I froze some watermelon and added frozen strawberries, fruit juice and honey and blended it all together in the food processor. It’s a nice little sweet tweet. Kinda like sorbet I guess? I’m pleased.

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I quit weed on Sunday. I felt incredible (probably because the weed was still coursing through my veins or whatever). Then yesterday, less amazing. And then last night I slept like shit. But I’m not discouraged. I expected some challenges. I’m gonna stick with it. Especially now that I’ve lowered the amount of pain and inflammation in my body. I saw someone say on Reddit something like, “I have plans and weed isn’t going to help me achieve them.” That’s how I feel. I got shit to do. Maybe when I’m retired I can be an old stoner or something. I wanna be one of those people that’s just high on life, though.

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Yup. 3 episodes of crying. Glad I got it done in one sitting. Now I have a headache.

I’m about to hurt my own feelings and watch the reactions to my favorite character’s death on General Hospital.

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I’m about to hurt my own feelings and watch the reactions to my favorite character’s death on General Hospital.

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I’ve been wanting to watch the old Mary Berry seasons of The Great British Bake-off and couldn’t find them anywhere. But now I see that they’re on the Roku Channel, which apparently you can watch even if you’re not using a Roku. Yay! I’ve started season 1 and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen this one! Baby Mel and Sue are so cute.

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Haha just kidding. The shopping seems to be all I can do today. And I cleaned out the freezer in the garage and in the house so I’m happy with that. Hopefully refrigerator cleaning out can happen tomorrow.

I took advantage of the time change and left early to go to a bunch of stores. And it paid off because I found a generous amount of turkey wings and thighs for Thanksgiving, a bunch of steak and short ribs and stuff on sale for me, and got most of my weekly shopping done. My aunt is going to hang out with friends this afternoon so I want to use that time to clean out the refrigerator and pantry. I’d love to get some stuff done in my room too, but that may be pushing it. And she’ll be gone in the afternoon tomorrow too so I can continue doing stuff then if I don’t wear myself out today. So now I’m making myself rest until it’s time for my grandma’s lunch.

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The coincidences of life are so weird and wonderful.

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I took advantage of the time change and left early to go to a bunch of stores. And it paid off because I found a generous amount of turkey wings and thighs for Thanksgiving, a bunch of steak and short ribs and stuff on sale for me, and got most of my weekly shopping done. My aunt is going to hang out with friends this afternoon so I want to use that time to clean out the refrigerator and pantry. I’d love to get some stuff done in my room too, but that may be pushing it. And she’ll be gone in the afternoon tomorrow too so I can continue doing stuff then if I don’t wear myself out today. So now I’m making myself rest until it’s time for my grandma’s lunch.

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Out of nowhere my aunt tells me that her childhood friend confided in her about something traumatic that happened during her childhood. I was like, “Why are you telling me?!” She just stopped talking and took her food into her office and closed the door. But that’s messed up, right? She probably doesn’t want you telling people this really personal thing. Also, I don’t want to hear about it.

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Yay Dodgers! Now my tension headaches will hopefully stop!

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Well, they just killed my favorite character off on General Hospital in such a lackluster way it was disrespectful. Kelly Monaco has been on that show for 21 years. She won an Emmy for that show. And this is how you thank her?

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Since Friday night, I’ve been having headaches late afternoon into the night. It feels like tension headaches. And I think it’s the World Series? Because it was on break yesterday and I didn’t have a headache last night. But tonight, the game hasn’t started yet but my head has started pounding. I thought I was doing a good job at being slightly detached from the outcome, but my body is betraying me.

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The more I can walk without issues, the more I’m really believing I can get a dog and take good care of it one day. It’s like my major motivation.