#AS IF I WASN'T ALREADY AN INSANE EMOTIONAL MESS OVER THESE TWO

[wexhappyxfew]

whispering prayers into her hair

(a/n): requested by @sunny747 for Annie x Brady and ‘wrapping arms around the others neck when standing behind’. ie — annie and brady being two adorable people in a horrible situation and all their deepest thoughts seem to surface underneath a cold sun. and oh. annie wants to be a mom (distant sobbing). please enjoy this rather sad piece and commentary on two people struggling to hold onto each other in a world like this. (plz know i am sobbing !!!!) thank you so much for this prompt - quite literally has altered my life <3

Staring was the worst part.

At what was just past the barbed-wire fence; what stood between her and the world on the other side.

It had been six months and she was still standing here, still on this side of the fence, still staring at the opposite end of the threshold. Through the wires, the wood, and the dust. The world was on the other side and she was here.

Annie knew she shouldn't be out here alone - especially with the way the Germans had been ever since the British had dug those tunnels. She crossed her arms tighter over her chest and let a sigh escape her chapped lips as she squinted in the bleak sun, the warmth seeming to dissipate just as it reached her body.

Glancing over her shoulder, she watched as some of the men in the bunk room next to their groups began playing a scrap game of ball in the dust pit that could become a makeshift play field when needed. The kick-kick-kick of the pathetic ball bounced about, as the wind whistled past her ears and the sound of silence hung above. There were little-to-no animals around the place - no birds sang, no crickets chirped, there was no sign of life except for the American officers.

Otherwise, they were a dead zone.

A black 'x' crossed out a dot on a map.

"Hey, little birdie." Annie glanced over her shoulder and saw Brady coming towards her. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, his coat looking a little too big now on his form, his broad shoulders now swamped in the scarf and the wool button-up, he still looked like the John Brady from her first day on base at Thorpe Abbotts. Even with his hair a little longer and his cheeks dotted with stubble, and that scar nestled near his jawline.

He was still John Brady.

"Hi." Annie said, watching as he approached her, that lopsided smirk growing on his face, as his eyes fought to keep that grin growing.

He'd been growing quieter in the coming weeks, she'd noticed. Not majorly, not anything that would make her incredibly concerned though, she would always worry - about the crew and about Brady.

He'd say a little less at dinner, when they all sat around and were inhaling what food they had, and then when they were all sitting around, and she was tucked into her bunk, attempting to read (she never did get through any of the books or even a page anymore), she'd glance towards Brady's bunk and catch him in his silent prayer.

His lips a silent whisper, his hands clasped together, eyes and those long lashes gently shut. Everything about him calm and at peace.

And by the time she was curled up beside him, she swore he'd been whispering prayers into her hair, against her forehead and through their threaded fingers, like if he said it enough it'd get them through. And she clung to that more than anything.

He came to stand beside her, this awkward distance between them as they stood there, eyes locked on one another, this fence in between them and the world, dust at their feet, the war at their backs. Hands empty. Annie couldn't look away.

"How are you doing?" she asked him quietly, watching as his face winced slightly, like the question was more hurtful than the response, "You didn't eat much at breakfast." Which was true - his plate still had some oatmeal (they called it oatmeal) on it and he had looked withdrawn and distant. And Annie had watched, her stomach in knots.

It reminded her of when she had to get her siblings ready for school and sometimes one of them wouldn't eat - usually because they didn't feel good or were upset about something - and she'd get a pit in her stomach because she wasn't sure how to fix that. And she had felt that here. Watching Brady.

"Okay." Brady said with a nod, a stiff smile. She wanted to make him smile. More than anything. "Just wasn't super hungry." Annie caught his gaze for a moment and nodded slowly.

"I don't know," Brady said with a shrug, his smile falling, face focused on the world just past the fence, "just think this place is getting to me a bit." And she could see it in his face - just saying that, admitting that - she could see it hurt. He looked over at her and nodded weakly. "You know?"

"I do." she answered quickly, wanting to comfort him as her immediate response to the pain in his voice, "And I try to tell myself it's not. That doesn't usually work anyways, but…." Brady quirked out a small grin that faded just as fast as it'd appeared.

"You shouldn't be out here alone." Brady said quietly, hands shoved deep into his pockets, but it wasn't in a way that was scolding or even upset. Just a statement, a fact, something they all kept a conscious eye on.

"I know." Annie said quietly, her voice strained as she looked out through the barbed wire again, "I just….couldn't keep staring at the bunk room ceiling, you know?" Brady chuckled slightly, like it was some funny inside joke they'd all remember one day.

"I know." he said, voice soft, as they met each other's eyes again. He put on a hopeful smile, as best as he could it seemed. "The sun suites you, An, by the way." Annie caught his gaze, the small flutter in her chest warm, gentle and comforting.

God, the sun. So bright and gleaming even in this gloomy world that had been their ever-present for the past six months - in this bitter cold, this dull air - the sun still would shine even on days where Annie felt like it shouldn't.

"Who was your letter from?" Brady asked - it had seemed like he'd been waiting to ask her that question all morning - between his longing stares, those split second gazes where she swore she could breakdown in front of him and he'd patch her right back up. With all that, it seemed he just wanted to be there with her, to ask her that, alone.

Annie watched him, biting back her lip as the cold rushed over her cheeks. Something in the way his face was strained, like it pained him to even beg the question, knowing her response would hurt either way - knowing her response would hurt him, because it hurt her. The ache never dulled in a place like this.

"Dad." Annie said, her voice a whisper; quiet and shallow.

Seeing her dad's handwriting had sent her into a new dimension - she was sure of that. She couldn't remember the last time she'd even gotten a letter since being back at Thorpe Abbotts. So seeing his handwriting there, loopy and scratchy had made her heart ache in a way that she knew wouldn't fade in a lifetime.

You're mother isn't doing well, kid. She's really sick now, won't eat much or drink much, keeps saying something's tugging her arm. She's calling out for you. Don't know what to say. Keeps saying it's my fault you're gone. She's going down the tubes.

Annie looked to Brady, who was watching her in that unspoken way where it seemed everything and nothing was on his lips, that vulnerable glint of his gaze destined only for her, the want to reach out towards her.

They were always reaching towards one another, she thought.

In every lifetime there was, she was reaching for him and so was he.

But stood out here - in the open - with the eyes of the Germans on their backs, waiting for them to pulsate into the barbed fence just to shoot them, to make a run for it, she couldn't risk it. Instead, watching him made her yearn for every bit of him and more in those other worlds, those other times.

"What was he saying?" Brady asked quietly, tightening his jaw a bit, noticing her evident quietness. Annie sniffled and crossed her arms together in front of her and shifted her shoulders.

"Mom's probably going to be gone soon." Annie whispered quietly, looking at him, "She keeps asking for me. She's blaming Dad. For me being here. For me even joining up in the first place probably. It's…..it's basically a shit show."

"Annie, I'm sorry…." Brady whispered shifting towards her, that unspoken distance when they were outside the bunks room seeming to make a reappearance as he froze and then watched her as she stared back at him.

"It's okay…..it killed her." Annie whispered quietly, nodding, "Having to take care of us kids. Her and my dad…..one night, they were talking about it all. She never wanted to be a mother. She never wanted any of that. But that was what she got and that was her life and she drowned herself in cheap liquor to get rid of that pain." Annie looked at Brady with tears in her eyes. "I didn't want to end up like her."

Those inches between them pushed on her stomach like a heavy weight; it hurt, physically hurt. Annie glanced up behind his head towards the guard station, before looking back at Brady and his crestfallen face.

What hurt was, there were no amount of words a person could say take it all away, to magically get Annie back home to watch her mother's passing, to be there with her family.

War didn't care, the Germans didn't care, life didn't care.

Despite being dealt the short straw with a mother who wanted nothing to do with her, Annie still wanted to be there for the end of her life. She still had that want to be there for a mother who was still her blood. And that want made the guilt explode inside her chest and suffocate herself nearly to death.

"It's why you joined up," Brady whispered quietly, looking down at her, "in the USAAF. You didn't want that life."

"Yeah." Annie whispered back with a nod, "I'm sorry, you probably came out here to want to talk about anything else rather than this." Annie reached up to wipe at her eyes, but Brady only gave her a smile and watched her.

"You know I came out here because I wanted to be with you, you know that?" Brady said with a sad smile, "Now, c'mon, you got me interested now. What was it like? Joining up for yourself?" Annie watched him and couldn't help but smile a bit.

"It was probably the proudest I'd been of myself in my life, to be honest." she said, "Especially after the war broke out and I had enough money to get myself doing something more than farm work. I flew a few planes with kids from school. At the fair. Little things, but enough to make me want to do it more." Annie smiled up at him. "And sometimes they say you can't do something and usually that's enough to make someone do it."

Brady seemed to step forward and cut off that silent agreement to not make contact when outside the bunkhouse or in daylight hours - and he didn't seem to care.

For a moment, they just took to watching one another there, listening to the sounds around them, the chatter of voices in the background, the shuffling of feet, the linger of stale air. It was consuming, but yet, when looking at Brady, she didn't quite mind the sudden presence and stillness of the world around her.

"I remember seeing a poster," Annie said quietly with a smile, "in the local market. Surprised something like that even made it up, that's to say, even got put up in a market in Mankato, but….I saw it and." Annie looked to him. "I knew what I wanted to do right then and there. Then I signed up. 'Your Fight Too Sign'. Must've gotten the masses out because of that." And Brady juts smiled at her that wide grin, standing there like he couldn't look away from the sight of her. Despite where they were, despite it all, he could still stand there and look at her like that.

"What about after this?" Brady asked her, "Where you going?"

"I always wanted to be a mother." Annie said quietly, her heart squeezing as Brady's head tilted to the side and that certain, pained look erupted across his face as his fingers trailed to the side of her cheek. She nodded.

"You will be." Brady said quietly, encouraging smile on his lips, "When you get out of this. That guy's a lucky son-of-a-bitch." Annie watched him, her big eyes exploring his face before settling on his gaze again.

You, she thought, I want you to be that lucky son-of-a-bitch. And she couldn't seem to form the words, tell him that all she ever wanted was right here in front of her, but that look in his eyes, the war standing around them, she couldn't. Making promises that she wasn't sure would come true or not.

"Do you want kids?" Annie asked him quietly, watching as Brady smiled just as the word 'kids' left her lips. She managed a watery smile. "You'd be such a good dad. I know that."

"I do." he said with a small smile, "Always have."

"I know you'd be a good one because that one time I got way too drunk, you made sure I got into my bunk and had water and ate the next morning. You even let me use your sunglasses. And you didn't have to, but you did it just because." Annie said with a smile, watery grin, "They'll be lucky." Brady watched her inches from her face, seemingly taking a minute to simply watch her and then nodded.

"They will be." he whispered back, before licking his lips and smiling at her, "Why do you want to be a mother?" Annie watched him.

"My mother told me I wouldn't be one. A good one." Annie said quietly, watching as something shifted in Brady's gaze - from soft to protective in a manner of seconds that was enough to make her heart race, "But it means I can selflessly love this child that is my own. Nuture them into their life, fulfill them with all that is goodness and love that I never got myself. Give them a better life than what my own childhood was. I can give them what they deserve." Annie smiled. "I get to be the person I never had." The emotion swirling in Brady's gaze was enough to make her smile, eyes welling with tears, and reach out towards him and brush his cheek fondly.

"That's what growing up is sometimes, not for everyone," she said, "being the person you never had when you were little." Brady seemed to lean into her touch a bit as they stood there, cuddled in jackets and wool sweaters and warm hands, underneath a cold and frostbitten sun, staring at each other like it was their last time together ever again.

"What are you going to do if we get out of here?" she asked him quietly.

"We will." Brady said back to her, clenching his jaw, "We're getting out of here. One another or another." Annie stared at him. "I'll be heading back to New York, most likely." Annie cracked a smile at him.

"With your parents?"

"Yeah." Brady said, "I'll try and get my gig back teaching. Play some more music." Brady watched her. "I can finally take you on a date." Somewhere in that string of words, Annie felt her body shutter to a stop and all she could do was stare back at Brady with wide eyes, slightly glazed over and frozen as she watched him.

"A date?" she asked him quietly and Brady grinned instantly, and nodded.

"A date." he said quietly back, "You and me. Where I grew up. In the mountains." Annie couldn't help but watch him with some much awe in her eyes - despite how battered and bruised they looked, he was making promises that could be hard to keep in a place like this, looking at her the way he did. He didn't seem to care or mind and when he looked at her that way, she believed it would happen to.

She wanted a life outside of this and she wanted, somehow, someway, to share that with John Brady.

"I'd love that. With you." Annie said quietly with a smile, staring at him with wide eye still, taken aback by his words, his forwardness, his sudden step over that invisible line they had drawn when they had both started acting like more than just friends. When whatever 'this' was appeared more than just what friends were to each other. And they'd been just too scared to acknowledge that maybe there was something more there.

"What's it like? New York?" she asked him quietly as she stared at him. Brady grinned.

"You'll have to wait and see. It's a surprise." he said with a chuckle, "One that'll be worth waiting for."

"What about a hint." Annie said quietly back to him, "In the mountains and all?"

"Here," Brady said softly, placing his hands on her shoulders and slowly turning her towards the barbed wire fence and holding her there. Warm hands on her shoulders, pulsating through to her skin, she felt a shiver run over her as his face appeared above her shoulder.

"You see that out there? All that greenery, trees, shrubbery?" he asked her with a smile, a nostalgic twinge to his voice that made her long for the sight of where John Brady had lived and breathed as a small child - who had grown to become the person standing there with her now. What had made him to be the person he is today. Her heart clenched.

"Imagine all the birds out there, the wildlife. Frogs, birds, foxes, sometimes bears, the cicadas in the summer. Leaving the windows open. You can hear the frogs from the lake. Everything's alive." Brady said, his voice dropping, "So different from here." Annie tilted her head to look up at him. "You'd love it, Annie."

Staring at him there on her shoulder, she slowly felt his arms wrap around her neck loosely and hold her against him. Leaning back against his chest, enveloped in the warmth from his jacket and his arms and simply his body, she had never felt more relaxed in a place like this, comforted by the touch of a person who she was growing more and more feelings and thoughts for by this point in time. And someone who had seen her in far too many phases of life now than she would've thought.

Looking out past that fence, she did imagine a life in New York, near those Finger Lakes, John Brady playing his saxophone as the sun set, listening to the frogs and the cicadas and the birds, his gentle, jazzy thrum, watching his eyes glow with mirth and life, a quiet step away from war and this camp and the world. A place where she could let herself simply be. A home. With him.

And for a moment standing there, she could imagine her life where it was just the two of them, watching the sunset, listening to the world around them, being enveloped in the presence of one another. She could practically feel it, reach out and grab it with her fingertips. It was so close. It was right there.

[masterwolftfs]

TF Trade with @axeeglitter

Josh was tired. He'd been on the set for hours, trying the same scene again and again, unable to get the role he was trying to convey just right. The director had lost his shit by this point, and had made Josh go outside for a breather and to collect his thoughts, because no matter what he tried, he just couldn't do it right. Josh, sick of being verbally assaulted by his director, had left in a rage and now sat in his dressing room, stressed and upset. After taking a few moments to himself, he started trying to calm down. Focusing on the items around him, he used the techniques his therapist had taught him to help ground his thoughts.

"Focus on 5 things you can see, Josh." He muttered to himself. One - The poster of the film he was acting the lead role in. Two - The LED bulbs adorning the mirror opposite where he sat. Three - the mirror, with his dashing reflection looking back at him, gorgeous event through the visible stress. Four - A small cactus, on his dressing table desk, his favourite plant, though it could use a little watering, that was for sure. And five - a small, golden lamp, pristine and very out of place, laid carelessly on his couch, as if thrown there in a rush. Josh didn't remember seeing that lamp before, it kind of looked like the stereotypical genie's lamp, maybe taken from the prop cupboard? But there wasn't a genie in this film… Bewildered, Josh headed over to the lamp and picked it up. Chuckling slightly to himself, he rubbed it, not really expecting any response, but figuring it funny to mess around with it nontheless. As expected nothing happened. He sighed. Despite knowing it wasn't real, magic wasn't real, he had been at least half hoping the lamp would respond to his touch. Throwing it back down, he muttered, "I just wish it was simpler" he sighed. "Easier. This is getting too fucking hard for me." As he uttered the words, it responded. The lamp glowed, softly, barely perceptible in the already warm lighting of the dressing room, but Josh could feel a pull towards it, and he went to pick it up. As soon as he touched it, his vision went. Terrified at his sudden blindness, he realised he couldn't smell, or hear either. His senses had been ripped from him, as if he never had them. Everything just stopped.

"Mr Hutcherson? Are you okay in there? It's been over an hour since you came back here… you're needed on set!" The extra, Carl, had been forced to come and get Josh on the director's behalf. Knocking for the fifth time without reply, he opened the door, to see the room empty, everything pristine bar a lamp laid sideways on the floor. "Must've been brought here by mistake" Carl laughed, and called out for Josh again. "Mr Hutcherson?" He must not be here, he thought. Picking up the lamp, suddenly it responded to his touch, a cloud of smoke enveloping Carl, and suddenly, Josh was in front of him. Golden bracelets adorned his wrists, and a gold collar was wrapped around his neck. Josh's eyes glowed gold and he boomed "Master… how may I serve you?" "Mr Hutcherson? Is that… you?" "If that is what you wish to call me, then yes." Josh's mind was screaming inside the genie's body, unable to convey his real emotions or thoughts. It was as if he was trapped inside this form, unable to be freed. "Tell me, what do you wish?" "I guess… I wish for a drink, this prank is insane, lets celebrate it with one haha" Carl chuckled. Suddenly, a drink was in his hand, seemingly materialised there out of nothing. "Woah…." Carl got a sudden idea. Josh had always been an infuriating coworker… so… maybe he should pay… "I wish to be Josh Hutcherson." Carl said, dead serious. Instantly, his body started shifting, muscles toning, height shrinking, hair changing, his entire body warping to match his twisted desire. Inside the genie, Josh could only scream, desperate to stop this. As Carl changed, the genie also changed, adopting his previous form, looking more like Carl. His mind started shifting, and the internal voice started quieting down. He was being erased, wiped, and Carl was setting in. Josh could remember who he was, but he was programmed to act exactly like Carl, which, it seemed, included being gay. He couldn't bring himself to think sexually about women anymore, only men, and the new Josh in front of him was beautiful. He instinctively groped his dick, smirking at the new Hutcherson in front of him. Carl, now Josh, noticed. "I wish for you to love me" He said, without any hesitation. Within a week, the world knew Josh Hutcherson was gay, and he had married Carl, his beloved husband. Years of love and beautiful happiness passed by, with Josh's work going wonderfully, winning hundreds of awards, becoming rich and hollywood's #1 actor, famous and beloved by all. The world bowed to brilliant actor Josh Hutcherson, including his all powerful servant, the Genie Carl.

[mindless-existence1]

Chapter One of unnamed fic

Chapter Two, chapter three

Bakugo x GN!Reader fluff fic based off this audio

"How many men have you kissed?"

"Very few."

"But you offered me a kiss, why?"

"Such a foolish reason I'm afraid. I just wanted to kiss you."

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Summery: You have practically latched onto Bakugo since the beginning of the school year. Why? Who knows.

Reader is very in tune with their emotions and speaks how they feel. Bakugo is the opposite. What a mix.

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Content: Slow burn, romance, reader is flirty but they dont realize it kinda, curse words, no pronouns mentioned but is kinda fem (not fem heavy tho just reader does more feminine stuff ig), it's fluff guys

Words: 1,156

"Bakugo, over here!" Your cheery voice rang through the quaint coffee shop. The blond looked over towards the source of the noise, he spots you. Sitting by yourself at a little table, you had a pastery and a coffee with you.

Papers and textbooks littered the table you sat at. Bakugo begins making his way towards you, his backpack weighed down his shoulders as he walked through the quiet café.

Bakugo sits down across from you, the wooden chair scraping the floor annoyingly. "You started without me?" Bakugos voice isn't upset but more confused. You had begged asked if he could tutor you for the upcoming exams.

Reluctantly he agreed. Bakugo wasn't in the market for friends, or acquaintances that is. But after the first few days of school at UA, you began clinging to him, at training, in classes, in the dorms.

Bakugo couldn't lie and say he didn't like you, you were nice and funny at times. But he didn't need someone holding him back from his top spot. He made that extremely clear, about as clear as you made your desire to be friends.

"A bit, I was bored and didn't have anything else to do. What about you?" You cheerfully asked the teen in front of you. He began taking out his folder out of his bag, his backpack resting on the back of his chair.

"I was fixing my gauntlets, they got all messed up after training today." You nodded along with his words like they were the most interesting thing you've ever heard. "You don't give them to the shop class?" You curiously quizzed Bakugo.

His face contorted in something like offense. "I can handle my own shit." You chuckle, it confuses bakugo because to him he doesn't think he said anything funny. "Yeah I'm sure you can." Bakugo freezes for a second, but let's go of it quickly.

"Whatever, what do you want help with?" You're silent for a second, pondering where to start. "Well langue arts and math but I don't know what to do first..." You begin mumbling to yourself before an idea seems to dawn on you.

"Wait! Do you remember what we worked on yesterday in Mics class?" Bakugo thinks for a second before nodding. "Yeah can we do that? I swear Mic is speaking a different language when he's doing a lecture." You laugh at your own joke while Bakugo gets out his notes.

~~~~~~Time skip to later in the study sesh~~~~~

"Ugh this is so boring." You whine in complaint, laying your head down onto the table in exhaustion. "Well do you want to pass this class or not dumbass?" You groan at his words, "Why do you have to be so smart? It's not fair."

Bakugo feels himself get a little angry at your words but can also feel the heat rise to his ears at the compliment. "Yeah I'm smart but it's because I work for it." You don't get hurt when he snaps at you, already used to how the often angry teen communicates.

"Yeah yeah I know. But you make it seem so easy." This makes Bakugo raise a brow. "Make what look easy?" You look up at him, confusion written all over your face. "You know, being awesome. You're insanely powerful and super smart. Leave some for the rest of us" you practically pout at the last few words.

The way you say it makes it seem like common knowledge. And it is, bakugo is a well known power house. So why does it make his face flush a deep shade of red that he trys to hide behind his hand. "Don't go saying shit like that dumbass."

You cock your head to the side, "What do you mean? It's true." God Bakugo hates how every word makes his stomach swirl in such a way. "Just shut up, Im leaving, I got other shit to do." Bakugo quickly starts packing up his work books and papers.

When he glances at your face it seems... disappointed? "Oh sorry I didn't mean to hold you up." Your voice is laced with something that's close to sadness. Bakugo sees you check the time on your phone before starting to clean up your own belongings.

"What else do you plan to do today? It's still pretty early." You question the blond, in all honesty he just wanted to get back to his dorm. "I uh, I got to work on my gauntlets. They're still acting up." You chuckle to yourself making Bakugo give you a side eye that you catch.

"Are you all work and no play? We just studied for hours you should treat yourself to something." He never thought about it like that. He needs to keep working to be the best. The number one hero doesn't take breaks. "That's bullshit, I have responsibilities."

You playfully roll your eyes at the mans response. "Well that sucks cuz I wanted to hang out." Although your tone is teasing Bakugo catches the slight undertone of real disappointment. As he slings his backpack over his shoulder and pushes in his chair you beam with an idea.

"Oh I know! Could I just hang out in your dorm while you work on your gauntlets?" Bakugo is very inclined to say no and leave but it's the way you say it with such excitement that leaves him contemplating. When he sighs and rolls his eyes you know you've won.

"Yeah sure whatever. Just don't bother me." You do a small cheer of excitement, you quickly throw your own backpack over your shoulder. The two of you walk out the café, you waving to the batista and Bakugo holding open the door.

The walk back to UA is short, the whole time you are talking about God knows what. But the whole time Bakugo just listens, every once and a while chiming in so you know he's listening. The usually sparky man is uncharacteristically quiet. He watches as you talk with your hands and put so much passion into every word.

As you reach UAs gates you stop talking long enough to get a good look at Bakugo. He gives you a weird look once you went quiet. "Something wrong?" His voice is gruff and almost annoyed. You stay quiet for a moment.

"Has anyone ever told you you have really pretty eyes?" Bakugo struggles to find a response, he fights against the flustered feeling building in his chest. The way you say it seems like you're stating a fact more than compliment. Like you just were saying what came to mind and it was messing with Bakugo in a way he hated.

Bakugo mutters out some response he sure sounded pathetic but it doesn't take him long to recover and go back to his hard exterior. After a moment you go back to talking like nothing happened, but bakugo keeps going back to your words. What the hell are you trying to do?

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Alright I decided to make this a multi chapter fic so the audio prompt will show up later. Hope you enjoyed!

Mha Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

I love the idea of Bodhi coming to you for comfort after a long day, especially given all the additional stress that he and the other marked ones are under

Changed it a bit because you know me but here we go... My first little something something for our lover boy!

warning: contains some slight spoilers from iron flame. Nothing major but still wanted to give you a warning.

Not giving up on us

Almost nothing managed to get under Bodhi's skin. Just like his cousin Xaden, he could pull up a cold wall and no one would manage to get a single look at what was going inside. He was able to shut off his visible emotions. Leave all the problem-solving and brooding over something when he was alone or at least among the people he trusted but this mess that unfolded after the Parapet... God damn... At this point, Bodhi didn't even know who he was blaming and who was he mad at.

All he remembered was how he instantly reached for you the moment that flames erupted. He wasn't even thinking about it. His brain worked on its own. And in sight of danger, the only thing that mattered to Bodhi was that you were safe. Even if it wasn't what a good rider should have thought of first. He had pulled you both on the ground. His larger frame practically covered all of your body. And that all would have been fine. Everyone would have presumed that he as a section leader was protecting one of the cadets in his wing. If only...

The moment the heat died down and Tairn had chased Solas away, Bodhi had pulled away ever so slightly, his palm instantly cupping your face as he looked you over. The way your eyes seemed slightly glassy. And that's when the panic set in and all of his instincts kicked in. "Hey, look at me", he tapped your cheek as he pulled away, "Love, can you hear me?". You blinked up at him feeling your head throbbing from the impact. You were sure it was nothing you just had to let it pass. Lay low for a few minutes.

Bodhi had carefully brushed the hair away from your face, panic slowly settling in. You caught his hand pulling it away. There was no room for little touches like that. Not here. You shook your head slowly, "People", you muttered and Bodhi's eyes instantly snapped up. Verish and other wing leaders had their eyes set on him. And even if they hadn't, they've seen it. Don't think too much of it, Cuir, Bodhi's dragon, had mused but he knew better. Should have known better.

Nor was he surprised when he got pulled for an urgent conversation. Nor when he was assigned to the flame section. He saw it coming. They were going to do everything to separate you two. Weed out the threats of whatever that was starting to form between you two. Bodhi missed Xaden often but now even more so. In situations like this, he realized just how much having his cousin around meant. Was he pissed to find out that you were made the section leader of the tail section now? Yes. Sure, it was a higher rang and you deserved it but something deep within Bodhi screamed that it was done on purpose so you two would have even less time together.

And it slowly was driving Bodhi insane because the whole day after the incident he didn't get to see you. Nor did he know anything about your health. Did anyone even take you to the healer? Did you have a concussion? He had shoved his stuff angrily into the bag, so he could change rooms. It was almost unbearable considering that most of your stuff was already there. You two had quietly settled in. Your smell was all over his stuff. It felt safe. It felt like home. His haven. But more than most Bodhi hated the thought that all of this might put you in some kind of danger. Varrish was already all up on Violet what if that wasn't enough? What if he will want to have another play toy? That could very well be you.

"Sulking much?", your voice made Bodhi flinch. He had slipped out to stroll through the fields after an excessively long conversation with his new wing leader. "No", he muttered back, already hating the way his tone sounded. "Right, Ceir said just that", you rolled your eyes as you moved to sit down next to him. Both of your dragons were on rather friendly terms meaning that even if you two couldn't talk directly to them, they still were willing to help you find one another or warn one another when needed.

You leaned against your boyfriend's shoulder, letting your chin rest there. His stiff demeanor softened but you could sense the distress lingering. "How's your head?", Bodhi murmured, turning to kiss the side of it. "It's okay, just a little whiplash. I feel perfectly fine now", you reassured him. Hoping that it would ease his nerves but to no success. "What is it Bodhi?", you breathed slowly pulling away so you could see it better.

"What do you mean what is it?", he huffed, throwing the bits of grass he's been plucking from the ground across the field as he stood up. "I'm not hurt, all the people we care about are fine too", you stated. "They fucking pulled us apart because they know", Bodhi hissed through gritted teeth. "They would have changed your position regardless of what happened out there, Bo", you tried to reason with him. The loss was too big, they were lacking options when it came to repositioning.

"They know, that's the problem. Did you see the way Varrish was looking at us?", Bodhi tried to stay as quiet as he could but his angry gestures spoke loud and clear. "So what? We're breaking up now?", you said, crossing your arms over your chest. Bodhi instantly frowned as he moved closer to you, "Of course, we're fucking not". You let him wrap his arms around your lower body as you held onto his toned arms, "Then don't stress over it. We've got this", you cupped his face softly, "You can handle yourself so can I". You reassured him, leaning in to kiss the side of his jaw. "I just hate the thought you haven't to go through extra shit just because you're with me", Bodhi hissed through gritted teeth. "Watch me do it with my head held high", you smirked at him, "I'm not giving up on us", you whispered. Bodhi let out a sigh. His grip on you tightened as he rested his forehead against yours. "I'll never give up on us", he breathed. You smiled up at him, pushing up to kiss his slowly. Missing the feeling of him against your lips after such a long day. The warmth. The smell of him. "You know now that I think about if...", he breathed, "We're a dang hot couple. Both section leaders", Bodhi mussed. You let out a chuckle as you shook your head, "And it had only taken a couple of minutes for your ego to grow twice the size". Bodhi let out an awful fake hurt hiss as he wrapped you up in his arms pulling you even closer into his embrace, "With a girlfriend like you, what do you expect?", he purred against your ear.

[koolades-world]

OK OMG this is so fun so sorry for the long wait, also taking inspo from honkai star rail's heliobi which are basically little fire guys that take a host and feed off their emotions and uses their deepest desire against them which either kills them directly, or drives them insane! fun right?

part one can be found here if you haven't read it or want to reread it haha

dance of the haunted (part two)

Instead of running home, Satan began to run towards the Demon Lord's palace. He still wasn't sure what Lucifer could want, but he thinks it would be wisest to get Diavolo and Barbatos first. He quickly barged in the front door without knocking. Little D's crowded around him, asking what was wrong. He ignored them.

"Barbatos! We need to talk!" He yelled out. Like magic, Barbatos was behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

"What's the matter? No need to yell." He tried to quiet down the disturbed demon.

"I think Lucifer might want to harm Mc over this journal I found. I found it one time at a bookstore and it was Lilith's and it spoke to me as her and I don't really know if it was her and..." Satan began to ramble, spilling out everything at once.

"Lucifer wanting to harm Mc? That seems out of character for him. Are you sure?" Barbatos hushed Satan again.

"I think. He called me asking me to bring Mc home with me, when the matters of this journal don't concern them at all. That journal gave me negative feelings overall and it makes me wonder if it asked for them specifically. I apologize for the lack of detail and how unclear this all is, but I just don't know." Satan confessed.

"Alright. I understand. I will go with you to check this out." Barbatos agreeded.

"Let's get Lord Diavolo too. He might be able to help." Satan sucked in a deep breath to calm himself down a little more.

"As you wish. I'll fetch the young master. Please wait here." Barbatos began to walk away. Satan turned away to pay attention to the chattering, worried Little D's and when he turned back, Barbatos had simply disappeared. He tried to consul them, telling them that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't even convince himself of that. At some point, Barbatos returned with Diavolo. Satan quickly ran through the story one last time for Diavolo, who seemed the most worried. Together they made their way to the House of Lamentation. They passed Purgatory Hall on the way there. They saw one light on in the kitchen with a shadow passing in front of it. Satan didn't know who it was, but he hoped they would remain safe. Satan dreaded arriving at the place he called home. He wasn't ready. But, did he really have a choice?

As soon he arrived, he decided to make their presence known. He slammed the door open. "I'm here, just as you requested, dearest brother." Satan snarled. A soft buzzing overhead could be heard overhead.

"And where is Mc?" Lucifer was standing with his arms crossed between the double staircases, just like he had predicted. He was in his demon form. His wings rustled, agitated.

“That’s none of your business.” He curtly answered. Barbatos stood behind him silently, while Diavolo started at Lucifer intently. "Where's the journal? I'm not here to mess around."

"How dare you hide something like that from me? Did you steal this?" Lucifer held the book in front of him, clutching it tightly.

"I found it at a bookstore and bought it. Why does it matter?" Satan was already frustrated. He let out a sharp breath of air from his nose.

"Because this is one of the few thing I managed to recover from the Celestial Realm. It went missing a while back and after finding this in your room I can only assume you are responsible." Lucifer pointed an accusatory finger at Satan.

"Don't you think you would have found it sooner? This is pointless. What do you even want?" Satan's tail lashed about behind him. He had transformed at some point. Barbatos opened his mouth, but paused as they heard a thump behind them. They turned around to see Beel with the sternest expression on his face Satan had ever seen. His arms were crossed and he started at them with dead, unreadable eyes.

"Lucifer, what is all this about? You know you can always talk to me, right?" Diavolo spoke up.

"You have no part in this conversation. You couldn't bring Lilith back to me. Nothing that comes out of your mouth matters anymore, Diavolo." Lucifer snapped back. Satan froze for a moment. He had never heard Lucifer address Lord Diavolo with such animosity. Diavolo paused too.

"That's absolutely no way to speak to your Prince, Lucifer." The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. The way Diavolo spat out Lucifer's name was something Satan never thought he would hear, no less see them on separate sides of anything this serious. "You of all demons would know I did everything in my power to resolve the situation as best as possible. If I had done what you initially asked, we would have risked war with the Celestial Realm." Diavolo sighed, malice growing in his usually kind features.

"You took advantage of me. I knew what I was getting into but it wasn't clear that by save her, you would rip her away from me. Now, we can be together again, no thanks to you lousy idiots." Lucifer held the book out in front of him.

"Lucifer, what are you talking about?" Satan watched as Lucifer opened the green journal. A mysterious wind whipped up the pages and opened it to a specific page. A tiny woman popped out, sitting on the edge of the book. As she jumped off of it and onto the ground, she grew into a more normal size. She was beautiful, and eerily reminded Satan of Mc in a few ways he couldn't place. Looking into her eyes was just like looking into Mc's. However, instead of appearing fully fleshed out, she was opaque and flickered in and out of existence. Her hands passed though anything she touched. Her smile would have lit up the room if it didn't seem so empty. That had to be what Lucifer thought was Lilith. Based on the reactions of Diavolo and Barbatos, his fear was confirmed.

"Hello Luci!" She threw her arms around his middle. "I've missed you." Lucifer smiled a smile Satan had never seen before, something that was clearly reserved for Lilith. But, he knew that couldn't be Lilith. She had died so long ago. This wasn't his brother's sister. Like moths to a flame, his brothers began to appear, like they sensed her arrival.

“Lilith!” Asmo flung himself at her after basically leaping off the top of the staircase. Beel stepped out from behind them and stared in awe.

“It’s good to have you back.” Lucifer told her. Satan could’ve believe his eyes. Didn’t he see what Satan saw?

“I recognize those two. Prince Diavolo and his beloved attendant, Barbatos. It’s an honor to meet you.” She bowed, making Diavolo’s eye tick. “But I don’t recognize you. You must be Satan. Luci, you really should be thanking him. He freed me. He showed me that there was more than that book.” Lilith stepped into the middle of the room and reached a hand out. Satan stepped back. Lilith grimaced and stepped back to Lucifer. He put his arm around her shoulder. “Where Mc? I’ve heard so much about them and are dying to meet them.” Lilith looked around the room again.

"You can't be serious." Satan immediately knew that wasn't Lilith. The real Lilith was not only dead, but had some inkling of who Mc was, according to what they had told him.

"How dare you disrespect her like that!" Lucifer raised his arm to point, but Lilith lowered it for him.

"Pointing is rude. Maybe he doesn't believe I'm actually here. Ask me anything, my dear brother, that might make you believe me. How about your past with Mc, hmm?" She spoke with a sickly sweet tone that lured his brothers in successfully. He began to sweat, and briefly glanced at Barbatos and Diavolo. Barbatos was studying Lilith with an intesity he rarely saw. Diavolo met his eyes and nodded at him, as if to signal him to move forward with the plan he thought Satan might have.

But he didn't. He wracked his brain for a question good enough to ask that she also wouldn't know the answer to. Something small would sound stupid and probably be rejected. Suddenly the perfect question hit him like a sack of bricks.

A smile grew on his face. "This should be an easy one. This question is for Lilith, and Lilith only. Has Mc ever died?" It was so simple it was nauseating, but he knew she would not be able to answer it. The real Lilith knew about the moment her brother murdered Mc, but the fake did not. He hadn't told her when they first met, and since her brothers thought she was the real deal, they hadn't bothered to ask.

"Of course not! How else would they be here with us today? That reminds me, are they on their way? I'm just dying to meet them." The room froze at her casual response. A look of horror began to dawn on her brothers faces. Belphie seemed the most stunned.

"Lils?" Belphie quietly addressed her.

"Yes?" She turned to face her brother. Belphie opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, at a loss for words. The faux Lilith scanned everyone's faces, realizing she had said something very wrong. Before she could address her mistake, the doors slammed open behind them.

It was Satan's turn to become horrified. Behind him stood Mc, Solomon, and Simeon. Mc looked weak, and every pact mark except his own was glowing brightly. Solomon also looked slightly drained, a slight pink glow emitting from underneath his shirt. More than anything, they both look distressed, as if they knew something was wrong with the demons they had a pact with.

"Satan! What's going on?" They stumbled in, a hand on their head.

"What are you doing here?" Satan lunged forward to catch them before they fell.

"Something is wrong. Everything burns. What aren't you telling me?" Mc groaned. He held them against himself, cradling them.

"I'm sorry, but now's not the time to explain. Just hang in there, ok? You're going to be alright." As he spoke, Mc began to visibly deteriorate in condition. Their body was wracked with tremors, trying their best to focus in on Satan's face. They placed their shaky hands on his face in an attempt to steady themselves and to retain focus on him. Solomon made retching noises and doubled over, holding his side. Satan had never seen the sorcerer react in such a way to anything.

"It's that book. You may have already realized, but that is not Lilith. It's merely a copy of her based on her memories." Barbatos spoke up and pointed an accusatory finger at the fake Lilith. A look of rage crossed her face.

"After all my hard work, all it took to unravel my illusion was a Lucifer ripoff? Ugh. Whatever, I'm almost ready anyways." She grabbed the book out of Lucifer's hand and held it to her chest. She was solid enough to touch things in the real world now. Like dominoes, the six brothers standing next to her collapsed, causing Mc and Solomon to worsen. Solomon fell onto all fours. Mc desperately looked into Satan's eyes, their grip slackening. Both of them were gasping for breath.

"Barbatos, what's wrong with them?" Simeon hoisted Solomon off the ground, lifting him like a feather. A quick look at his side where he had been grabbing showed that Asmo's pact mark had begun to dim. He searched Barabatos' eyes pleadingly.

"If I'm right about the creature we're dealing with, Solomon and Mc are indirectly having their souls drained due to their link with the brothers. Their strong emotions over being reunited with their sister allowed the creature to access their soul and in turn, the human's they're linked with. The brothers were alright for much longer due to the power imbalance. Solomon and Mc are merely humans. Solomon has so many pacts so his soul is divided, leading to 'cracks' and more weaknesses, so to say, and Mc is having most of their soul siphoned out. However, If a more powerful being, for example, Satan and I, were to channel power into them, it would sustain them temporarily, like setting up a barrier between the force and their soul." Barbatos took Solomon from Simeon and concentrated on his pact mark. It started to glow brightly, and caused Solomon to stir.

Satan wasn't sure when Solomon had shut his eyes. He was busy focusing on Mc. Their pact marks began to dim, their eyes beginning to also flutter shut for longer and longer between each blink. He didn't have to be told twice to concentrate all his being into channeling power into Mc. His pact mark began to glow brighter than he had ever seen it before.

"Young Master, Simeon. Destroy that book. We cannot keep this up for a prolonged amount of time. All of the energy we funnel into Solomon and Mc is effectively being taken by the false Lilith. We can only sustain until that book is taken care of." Barbatos looked at the two entities gathered around them. Faux Lilith was more focused on the fallen brothers than what was happening across from her.

"We won't let you down." Diavolo wasted no time charging her, sending flames that sprouted from his palms at her. They licked the book and singed her clothes. There was a noticeable stir in the grounded brothers and the humans. Simeon ran behind her and attempted to snatch to book from her. She ducked under his hands and dashed deeper into the house. After a quick glance back at the rest of the group, the two of them charged after her.

"Mc? Solomon? Are you with us?" Their grip on his face was so weak at this point, so he took one off his cheek to grip it tightly.

"Everything is blurry. Lean in closer." Mc relaxed into his arms and he got closer to peer into their eyes.

"I'm here, but I hope they hurry with that thing. At this point I feel like it might hurt less to just cut the pact mark off my body." Solomon was lightly shaking and grimacing.

"Are you in pain, Mc?" Satan noticed they hadn't said anything regarding how they were feeling.

"It feels like hot irons are being pressed to the pact marks. Don't stop whatever you're doing. It feels nice." They were quieter this time, and moved sluggishly.

"Don't worry. Diavolo and Simeon are going to put an end to this. It will get better, just hold on." They could hear the fight raging on somewhere else in the house, the kitchen based on the sound of pots and pans being flung. After they heard a shrill scream, the brothers began to stir again, and Solomon and Mc looked like they had just taken a breath of fresh air.

As Satan was about to ask how Mc felt again after the look on their face, the fight was brought back into the front room. This time, faux Lilith seemed to have a different goal in mind; Mc. She lunged at the two of them. Satan was quick to move. Barbatos hoisted Solomon onto his shoulder and moved back. She redirected to follow Satan's every move and tried to grab at Mc. Simeon and Diavolo rushed after her every time to no avail.

"What do you want with Mc?" He had his back to the faux Lilith, to hold himself between her and Mc.

"I need their body to complete my transformation. They're a real descendent of Lilith! If I use their body, I can finally be close to her again!" She gave Satan no time to think and rushed at him again. He fled up the stairs, planning to go to the one place he thought might keep her out.

He hurriedly climbed the long, twisty staircase to the attic. She was right on his tail. As he passed the threshold, he slammed the door shut with his tail, locking it. He looked around for anything that might be of use desperately, still clutching Mc to his chest. They seemed barely coherent, still trying their best to look at his face. If he tried to channel his power to use against Lilith, it would take away from what he was channeling into Mc, but it was all he had. She slammed on the door, starting to bash a small hole in it. Satan set Mc down on the bed that was always in the attic so he had time to search through everything in the attic for help. At this point, he noticed something long and shiny sticking out from under the bed. As he reached for it, he jumped back. It stung where he had made contact with it. He reached back under again, and despite the burning, he got it out into full view. He recognized it as Simeon's sword. It was blessed in several different ways, which was why he had issues picking it up. If he wanted to defeat this creature, he knew what he had to do.

As the door was finally broken through, he wielded the sword, despite the burns forming on his hand. He lunged at the faux Lilith, causing her to stumble back and onto the stairs again. She scurried past him and at Mc again and as she did, he caught sight of the book in her waistband. He knew he wouldn't be able to reach Mc in time at this rate, so he plunged the sword right into the book, and into faux Lilith. She collapsed to the floor, screaming loudly. Satan dropped the sword and hurried past her to stand between her and Mc. He watched as she disintegrated while writhing, leaving just the book behind, with a large gash right through the middle.

He jumped at the sound of Mc behind him. They were attempting to sit up, a hand on their head. "Mc! How are you feeling?" He sat beside them, holding their hand with his uninjured one.

"It feels like I got burnt, everything is spinning, and I kind of feel like throwing up but better than before. What happened?" They looked around. "How did we even get here?" They asked.

"Long story. Right now, we need to get you back downstairs to Barbatos. Everyone is probably waiting for us. Do you need a hand?" He got up and walked around to the side Mc was on.

"That would be nice." He extended an arm to them, which they took and hung off of. On their way out, he picked up the ruined book. It had begun to ooze a black substance.

"Do you mind grabbing Simeon's sword? I would, but it really stings." He opened his domainant hand to show them the outline of the sword in his hand from where he had held it.

"Satan! When did you get this?" They took his hand to spread his fingers while leaning against him for support, wincing as they did so.

"Just now. Also part of the long story. What's most important is getting you downstairs, Mc! Worry about me later, love." Mc gave him a quick glare, but did as he asked and picked up the sword. Together, they hobbled down the stairs and reunited with everyone else.

They were swarmed by the brothers who were on the ground last time they saw them. After seeing Mc hiss in pain and the holy blade, they moved back a little. Behind them was the others. Solomon was sitting on the ground, being tended to by Simeon and Barbatos.

"I believe this belongs to you." Mc held the sword out in front of them, catching Simeon's attention.

"Oh, thank you! I was wondering where it was sent when I lost it during the battle." He took the sword from them, to which it vanished after he briefly inspected it. "Now, come sit over here and let me look after you." After he saw Satan's hands, he made him sit down too.

"So, us three again, huh? Cats, am I right?" Solomon chuckled, causing the other two to laugh too.

"Do you remember anything? I just remember entering the house and staring at Satan." Mc asked Solomon.

"It's about the same for me. I remember getting here and almost throwing up, and that's it." As he was speaking, Barbatos moved around to his injured side and pulled up his shirt. "Barbatos, at least buy me dinner first." This earned him a strained, tight smile and a swat to the head. After seeing what Barbatos was looking at, the levity of the moment was drained. Over where his pact with Asmo was crusted over with a burn so deep in color you wouldn't be able to tell it was there if the pink glow wasn't emitting from the cracks in his skin. In contrast, his pact with Barbatos was baby smooth and looked refreshed.

"Is that what I'm going to look like?" With a gulp, they peeled off their shirt, and revealed the caked over pact marks. The only visible one was Satan's. It looked revitalized. Each of the burnt marks hurt to touch. The men around them looked a little embarrassed. As Simeon began tending to the burns and assessing the situation, the six brothers approached them again.

"I'm sorry, Mc, Satan, Solomon. For my reaction." Lucifer began his apology. Surprisingly, Satan interrupted him.

"It's not you're fault. It's the creature that possessed you. It's not you fault it went missing. It probably meant to find it's way back into our home. You wouldn't have known. I know this won't take away the guilt, but you just wanted to see her again. I don't blame you." He stunned Lucifer.

"I'll make it up to you. Thank you." Lucifer gently smiled at his younger brother, something he never thought he'd see. His brothers gathered around them, also apologizing. Mammon and Levi were in tears and Asmo was gripping Solomon so tightly he almost lost circulation.

As Lucifer took his injured hand, Satan looked around at everyone there, grateful to had been part of such a family.

SUPER SUPER proud of this one! honestly at first I didn't know where I wanted this to go but I am SO happy with it. I've def improved with fight scenes but I tried to avoid it because i never like them haha

but thank you all for patiently waiting! happy new year <3

all the people I promised to tag :D

@jasthelazyelf @boxofgasoline @clemtastica @cosmic-caffelatte @hananacchi @anxious-chick @smc-angl @exrellian @majesticselena @marvelous-maniac

[bizarre-blues]

Curious about your shoumob thoughts 👀👀

Apologies for the essay I am about to write you. Genuinely it's a self indulgent ship for me- I don't particularly see it ever happening in canon, but the potential for their dynamic is so severely underexplored that it drives me insane- not even romantically, just in general. I honestly get why at a glance it doesn't seem like there'd be much between them, but this is fanon and I'm allowed to pour my heart and thoughts into my favorite characters. Lemme break it up into two sections. Platonic Shoumob (something I could see as more canon based):

Even being platonic, I do think this dynamic would only show up post canon. Like there's a long period of time where they're vaguely in each other's circles but don't directly interact. On Mob's end, I think this is purely because he's got his own life and own concerns. Sure, his younger brother's friend hangs around sometimes, but it's not his business to meddle around in Ritsu's business. This is really well stated in August's post. But to add on a bit:

Mob is a good big brother + trusts Ritsu

I don't see Mob holding a grudge against Shou for the house being burnt down. Did Shou aim to stir Mob's emotions a bit? Yeah, it wasn't right. It was ALSO to protect Mob's family since Shou knew Claw was sending folks after them. With the bodies of the remaining Kageyama family burnt, Claw would not longer be after the Kageyamas. I think after fully understanding this, even if there are bitter feelings Mob would let em fade over time

What about the seventh claw division? Saying he's disappointed in Mob? Beating up Ritsu to lure Mob in so they can both be captured? First off Shou's insult pretty easily rolls off of Mob's back. Secondly, I think it would be very interesting to explore the dynamic of Mob discovering Shou's part in the seventh division. Again, I don't think this would really come up for a long time, long enough that Mob wouldn't really be a bitter mess about it.

If Mob can find in his heart of hearts that Toichiro is someone worth saving, I really struggle to think he dislikes Shou in anyway.

On the other hand you have Shou. I already talked about how I think Shou would feel a bit in the tags of August's post above. Also, I really like to keep this post in mind too when thinking of Shou's view of Mob.

Shou entirely wrote Mob off in their initial interaction. He saw he had power and was unwilling to use it- therefore was taking the side of a bystander. He saw that as genuinely a crime to waste such protentional. Shou was raised by Toichiro, and even without agreeing with how Toichiro used his power, Shou does agree that power is power and must be used in some way. For him, he needs to use it for justice. That's why, in my mind, Shou was so quick to like Ritsu. Ritsu wasn't afraid to use his powers for what was needed to be done to protect people, even if it was an uphill battle he couldn't win.

Cut to their second interaction. Shou's fighting his dad, Shou's losing the fight- it's barely even a fight with how bad he's losing. In waltzes Mob who's entirely different from the last time they interacted. He's prepared to fight, to protect everyone else since he's the only one capable of doing so. Hell, he even told everyone else to stay away since they'll only hinder what he has to do. Suddenly Mob is aligning with the moral code Shou WANTED to see in him to begin with.

That entire interaction is so short, but it's genuinely so important to me. Mob stands up for Shou, he gets angry on his behalf. Who knows the last time someone did that for Shou, and it's someone Shou had entirely written off.

Last time they interact is the confession arc. Shou sees the power Mob is capable of, how his dad is no match for him when he's like this without it being fatal. It even convinces Shou to lay off using his powers (though idk how closely he sticks to that post canon)

Basically you have this development of complete dismissal > admiration for his moral code? > a warning sign to how dangerous psychic powers can be. Which is insane given that Shou's SEEN how dangerous they can be his entire childhood

I feel like it leaves us in post canon with a LOT of potential for how they might see each other or interact. Here's some of the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind.

I really feel like Shou would have this torn admiration / uncertainty about Mob. Mob is powerful, more powerful than his dad, and I don't feel like Shou fully knows Mob's strict moral code yet. I think that subconsciously he might be a lil cautious around him to begin with even if he doesn't outwardly acknowledge that in anyway

They get to know each other and now there's potential to actually chat about some of this stuff. One thing in particular I like to think about is the power level they both have. Idk the exact power scaling of all the Mob Psycho espers, but I'm under the impression that Shou is pretty up there and will likely only get more powerful with age. Shou and Mob, having this kinda power, have taken such opposite views to it growing up. Mob believing it can never be used while Shou thinking it MUST be used. This is what's inspired the comic I'm currently working on that I'm SO excited to finish up

Also??? this might be ooc but the potential jealousy Shou might have of how easily Mob and Ritsu appear to get along once it's all said and done. Meanwhile his family dynamic is... complex. Shou obviously cares about his dad, but Toichiro will probably not see life outside of prison and I'm certain there's just some oddness between them. Between Toichiro calling Shou a failure and using his powers to straight up fight him, I just feel like it would be complex for Shou. It could really lead to some interesting conflict, especially given Shou and Ritsu being besties

IDK !!! OTHER STUFF TOO!!! Between em I just see a lot that could be said between the two of em.

I feel like when I first joined the fandom I didn't really see much between Shou and Mob. Of the four main esper boys, obvious it's easy to see how much dynamic there is between Mob and Ritsu (the entire show hinders on the trauma they share) and between Teru and Mob. There's also plenty of interactions between Teru and Ritsu. Same to say with Shou and Ritsu since the majority of Shou's interactions are Ritsu centered. But honestly post canon I really do feel like Shou and Mob's dynamic ought to be explored a lot more, even if I must do it myself.

Romantic Shoumob (way more fanon based but hey what can ya do, we have fun out here):

As a disclaimer, I honestly prefer platonic shoumob. HOWEVER I absolutely think romantic shoumob is adorable so I will happily ramble about it. Take most of what I've said above and apply it down here.

In my mind I think it would be Shou who ends up with a crush on Mob. Mostly cause of the amount of emotions Shou has towards Mob post canon, I feel like it could easily develop into a real curiosity towards Mob. Thinks about him a lot and oops, now it's a crush

Also hilarious to me cause I don't think Shou would know how to handle a crush no matter who it was. The classic "writes you a letter that says 'get out of my school' in attempt to flirt" dynamic

Except I really don't think that would work on Mob?? Mob isn't dumb but I really just. Don't think he'd get the hint that Shou likes him. Just knows for Some Reason Shou acts a certain way around him. He'd probably assume he did something to offend or upset Shou somehow tbh

Cue Mob attempting to do things to make it up / even directly trying to ask Shou about it which would only lead to Shou getting flustered or trying, yet again, to keep playing it off

Whenever Mob DOES realize Shou likes him back I imagine he'd get equally as flustered in the beginning. Mostly cause we know Mob is such a lover who is super easily flustered in most scenarios. Very much just! Cute to me

Outside of just the puppy love phase I really do think there's potential for such sweet or dramatic interactions. Again there's all the complex parts of the platonic parts of their relationship, but something significant would be the way that both Mob and Toichiro have this insane amount of power and yet opposite approaches to it.

I think Shou would find a lot of comfort in seeing how gentle Mob could be. I'm also a HUGE softy for the idea of like- we KNOW Shou isn't super soft. He wasn't raised that way, it's not his ideals, there's not many situations where I think he'd feel comfortable having his guard down, even post canon. But I like the idea that Shou lets himself be soft when it's just him and Mob.

No pressure to be anything he isn't, no need to be snarky or guarded, he KNOWS Mob ain't gonna judge him, hell Shou is probably the safest he ever could be by hanging out with Mob. It's all so SICKENINGLY sweet to me.

On Mob's end, I can see him enjoying having someone who understands him in some ways yet has such a different approach to life? Mob craves human connection throughout the entire series, and by the end he has plenty of it, but to have someone who he can have deeper convos about psychic powers in particular with I think would be a huge relief. Obviously there's other folks in his life, but Shou's just from a unique background.

Even more, Shou is blunt and upfront about everything. Communication would come so naturally to them. As someone with autism, nothing is a bigger relief to me than a person who just says what they're thinking straight up.

I can really see a fun balance between them as one person who's calm and kind vs someone who's energetic and chaotic. I feel like there'd be a constant push and pull between Mob's side of simple and sickeningly sweetness and Shou's side of outrageous acts and mayhem.

Hope this all makes sense. Sorry for any typos, I didn't proof read anything. Thank you sm for the ask!

[youmakethelight]

Stream of consciousness after finishing tboc finale in my rewatch

Ok I finally finished rewatching tboc with frens & fam and french subtitles. I'm ngl it got harder after the reunion bc that's when the caryl scenes started to actively hurt. We watched the first 4 back to back, but I had to make us take long breaks between 4, 5, and 6. And I had expected it to be the opposite bc I thought their chemistry would save the mess they put daryl through in 2 and 3. But no, they punished carol way harder after the reunion, and they toned down their chemistry as much as they humanly could. And that is SO disappointing bc those two are MAGIC, and what a huge, huge disappointment it is to have a showrunner who doesn't honour that. Even Gimple didn't pull it like this. Wow.

The Sophia scene in the finale was less disappointing the second time. Melissa's acting was beautiful the first time, but on the second watch, I knew the script was lacking already, so I could really focus more on Carol and Melissa's acting. And she was wildly breathtaking. It was the same with the conversation she had about Sophia with Daryl. I knew I could only expect minimal from the script, and Melissa just captivated me. It's such a shame the script took me out of it, but it's like she pulls me straight back in. She is such an intuitive actor. I just feel her emotions so intensely and SO easily. Like, I don't have to do any work as an audience member with her, she does it all for me. I get to just sit back and soak her up. It would be great to have a high quality script to match that high quality acting.

And actually, norman was better on second watch too. His inconsistency in both his acting and in his script pulled me right out on the first watch and made me feel unable to be at ease in his scenes. So, I watched them all on edge, feeling anxiety about what is about to disappoint me. MUCH disappointed me in the second watch - especially promising Laurent TWICE that he'd see him again. That isn't Daryl. He didn't promise Judith, because Daryl is always sincere and careful with his words. That's the sort of thing that used to make me feel safe with Daryl. Now, not so much, because they've changed that about him, and I don't like it at all. Having said that, I felt more moments on second watch that felt more like Daryl to me. Just odd little bits of line delivery and facial expressions. Once Laurent left and I didn't have to keep wondering every time we saw him, whether he was thinking about Carol or Laurent, I felt like I could see him again. That was really nice honestly, but god it reminded me how much I MISS HIM. And the thing is, those are crumbs. They didn't pack a punch on my first watch bc I had higher hopes. I only noticed them on second watch bc my expectations had been lowered.

We deserve better.

Anna also shone more this time. I loved her both times, but she fucking ate on second watch. Her death was stupid and unnecessary though, and totally unrealistic that she just took it like she's too cool to feel pain when being eaten alive. 🙃 Absolutely fucking insane acting by Lukerya Ilyashenko though. That idea that she didn't care if she lived or died, I think would have actually been more powerful if she had lived.

The final scene. Girl. Carol's still not had a mask yet, and you're just standing back holding it out to her, waiting for her to come to you? Wow, I could really feel that desperation to make sure she's OK. Girl. Run over to her and put the mask on for her. Absolutely slacking my guy.

Still absolutely raging daryl wasn't there for carol processing her grief, biggest disappointment of the whole show. Why did she even come?

The characters deserve a showrunner who knows and respects them BOTH. And their audience, too.

[sleepyficss]

could you.....could yuo do painty x reader.... sorry im gay

painted bristles.

paintbrush x reader, romantic & angst/fluff

authors note:

i could've made this longer but i didnt wanna make it too excessive – i love them too much ;; + the art class & caring a lot about their bristles are both canon facts that i got from the wiki :3c

It had seemed like a peaceful day thus far, as you sat on the bed of your shared room at Hotel OJ. You had been spending the last hour or so practically doom-scrolling on your phone while your laptop played some show that you had watched before, being used as background noise – rather than bothering to pay attention to the scenes you had nearly memorised.

Baxter, the loveable little crab that Lightbulb had adopted a while ago now, rested next to you on his own pillow. You never thought you'd see a crab as spoiled as he was.

You'd usually spend your days with Paintbrush, the two of you getting pulled into one of Lightbulb's adventures or Test Tube's lab experiments, or even going out, one-on-one, to some sort of gathering as a date.

However, today Paintbrush was holding one of their weekly 'Arts n' Craft' classes. It was a new addition to Hotel OJ's activities, a solution that you had thought of and worked on with them to reduce the never-ending amount of stress they seem to always hold...

As much as you loved them, you had to admit that they cared a bit too much at times. Whether it was during the Inanimate Insanity competition, getting too worked up about winning; or while they stayed at the hotel, easily butting heads with the other guests over the smallest arguments.

These art sessions had only been ongoing for the past few weeks, but they seemed to actually be helping! You'd recently noticed that Paintbrush had been able to control their temper more, and held a lot more patience with other people.

At the end of each class, usually lasting a couple hours, Paintbrush would come looking for you to talk about how it went. It seemed that they had (mostly) only good things to say every time, lifting up their mood significantly.

Although, despite it being less than two hours, you heard the telltale rattling of the doorknob opening the door.

You didn't need to look up from your phone to know who it was, eyes still glued to your device as you blindly reached over to close your laptop, "Painty, is the Art Class finished already? You aren't usually here this early –."

As you finally looked up from turning your phome off, your breath caught in your throat at the nearly pathetic sight of them in front of you.

Sorrow, was all you could read from their face through the poorly concealed pout that rested on their lips. Their arms were loosely crossed, while you could've seen the mess on them from miles away. Wet paint stuck to their wooden face, dripping slightly downwards – yet, the substance landing on the carpeted floor was the least of your worries.

The bristles that were usually neatly swept back on their head were clumped together with more paint, and chunks of dried glue. Considering the amount of care they tended to put into their bristles, it shocked you that they managed to let it get this bad. You had to assume it was more than just a bad day.

To say it kindly, Paintbrush really did look horrible.

You rushed to push yourself off the bed, softly throwing your phone behind you, as you moved in front of them. From the closer distance, you could see the emotion brewing in their eyes, tears threatening to fall until you tenderly raised a hand to cup their cheek.

"Oh, Painty..." Was all that you managed to utter before the mentioned object threw themself further into you, hiding their face in your shoulder as the waterworks started.

While it wasn't difficult to get Paintbrush emotional... It had been a while since you last saw them this upset.

Choked sobs left their shaking body as they tried to speak, probably to explain their situation, but you quietly shushed them. You wouldn't have been able to understand them in this state, and it was better for them to calm down a bit before talking, you assumed.

Both your arms wrapped around them, one lifting up a bit higher to rub their back comfortingly. You reached a leg around them to kick closed the door for privacy-sake, and guided them slowly to the bed.

You both stood there for a few minutes, whispering comforting words to them, until Paintbrush's weeping calmed to just a few tears caught in their eyes. You removed them from your arms, pressing a chaste kiss to their lips to elicit a small smile from them, before stepping back.

"Could you make yourself comfortable on the floor for me? I need to grab a few things, then I'll be right back. Is that okay?"

A reassuring nod from Paintbrush had you hurrying to the room's bathroom, collecting an unused wash cloth from the cabinet, and throwing it in a small container that you began filling with warm water from the sink. Once finished, you returned to the main bedroom, where Paintbrush had wrapped a blanket over their shoulders and held onto Baxter while sitting on the floor in front of the bed.

You knew that Baxter was a big comfort for them, leaving a warm smile on your face at the sight of them looking a little happier.

Carefully holding the container to not spill any of it, you placed it on the bed as you climbed onto the mattress and behind Paintbrush. Once comfortable, you picked up the cloth from the container, wringing out the excess water, and began wiping through their bristles.

Slowly but surely, the chunks of glue began to dislodge themselves, and the clumps of paint wiped away onto the cloth. Pausing to soak the mess off of the cloth back in the water, you gently spoke up, "DO you... Want to talk about what happened?"

It was as if Paintbrush was just waiting for you to utter those words, as they took a deep breath, "It... It started off so well! We were going to do an activity that I had been planning all week, and everyone seemed excited to do it..."

You hummed along when it felt appropriate, bringing the cloth back up to their bristles. It crossed your mind that this would take a while to completely clean, as their head had ended up a real mess – but you didn't mind.

"–...f course he caused an argument about it, and started throwing supplies around! Of course everyone else started, too – I tried to intervene, but someone threw a painting palette at me, and when the paint got in my bristles I just... I..."

You understood what they were getting at. Paintbrush had probably lost their temper and began yelling at the other guests, and now felt bad about it.

"–...fter all the progress I've made... I just–just completely lost control! So easily! And then I felt bad, and just walked away from everyone... They're all probably still yelling down there, and I just ran away..."

They confirmed your thoughts, leading you to stop your actions for a moment, and placed a hand on their shoulder, "Hey... Painty, it's not your fault. You may have lost it a litte, but how long has it been since that last happened? Weeks? That's still such an improvement from how you used to be! And if the others are still arguing down there? That's their problem to sort out – you didn't start the fight, so you aren't indebted to fix it."

A sniffle and a nod was all you needed, before wiping out the last few pieces of gunk stuck in their bristles. Placing the cloth and dirtied water behind you, you ran a hand through their now-clean bristles.

You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the back of their head, before leaning forward to embrace them from behind.

"You know none of them are going to think poorly of you because of this, right?" You murmured, "They know you Paintbrush, and they've also seen how much improvement you've made. One class gone wrong isn't the end of it all, okay?"

Paintbrush twisted their body and head towads you, capturing your lips with theirs. Smiling into the kiss for a moment, you then moved back to take a look at their face.

The object looked a lot better, both emotionally and physically, but they still had a few paint splatters over their face. You reached back to grab the cloth, before leaning in to gently rub at the messes.

Their face scrunched up at the sensation, a flustered blush covering their cheeks lightly as you held back a giggle from the expression. An annoyed groan left them as you finished up with a playful tap on their nose.

"Better now?" You asked, receiving an answer in the form of your own words repeated back at you.

"Better now."

Moving the cloth and container off of the bed, you gave a light pat to the spot on the mattress beside you, "Now come on, you deserve some cuddles after today."

A flustered laugh left them, passing Baxter to you from the floor as they balanced the blanket around them while they began to climb up next to you. You moved Baxter's pillow to the middle of the bed, before placing the crab upon it as he snuggled back down immediately. Poor little guy, carrying everyones emotions as a personal stress reliever.

Paintbrush crawled up next to you, on the other side of Baxter, and threw the blanket over the three of you. Pushing themselves to be closer, Paintbrush wrapped an arm around you (and over Baxter).

You tangled your legs with theirs, wrapping your own arm to reciprocate their position as you cuddled up closer to both the brush next to you, and the crab between you. You heard Paintbrush let out a sigh, unsurprisingly tired from the earlier emotional experience, and closed your own eyes as you savoured the familiar feeling of comfort.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Being in a relationship with Narushima Koga...

( Disclaimer: Darker themes touched, the reader was a victim of the Gu ritual )

The first time Koga fell in love was when he was in Yamashita-san's office, sitting on a desk next to Ryuki, getting taught some useless stuff by Kaede. He hadn't expected the door to get opened and for two men with completely different auras to step in, nor for a girl around his age to follow close behind. Until then, Koga would occasionally have small crushes on pretty girls in highschool, but one look at the beautiful lady in front of him, and he was a blushing mess. Why? He couldn't understand either. Was it her princess-like grace? That pretty dress? Her long, wavy hair with that cute bow? Or was it that mysterious vibe she gave off, highlighted only by that stoic and rather apathetic look on her face?

His bewitching was short lived, for the pretty lady called Y/N simply scoffed, calling him weak all of a sudden. He couldn't help but feel his jaw drop to the ground from shock - How could she call him weak, of all things? Sure, he wasn't yet as strong as that boy, Cosmo, but he is determined and ambitious to surpass even him, and even that man with black hair who beat him to hell that night in the alleyway, when he and his group tried to gang up on him. He was hardworking enough and patient in his journey of becoming the strongest out there! How could she just call him - Weak?!

Angry, he stomped in front of her, easily towering over her smaller form, looking down at her aloof face - She didn't seem to sketch a single emotion whatsoever - Koga almost felt like he was trying to argue with a brick wall.

That, however, changed as soon as he tried to put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt at making her react in some way to his protests, yet before he could even blink, before his fingers could feel the thin material of her dress, he felt an electrifying pain surging through his wrist as though it got shattered, and his center of gravity got destroyed as he was thrown into the door, breaking it.

"Oops. Forgive me, Yamashita-san. I will pay for the damages." despite his vision being blurry, Koga's heart leapt slightly at the soft yet low voice of the frail-looking girl who somehow managed to break the door with him. Insane. Was she a fighter or what? The underground sure has a lot of surprises. "Listen, Y/N, I get it - I'm weak, by Kengan standards. I know that, okay?! I know! But I'm determined and I won't give up! Do you hear me?! I just can't stand the thought of someone out there who's stronger than me!" the twisted expression of sheer anger and ambition on his face made Y/N's eyes widen in surprise - Ohma used to say the exact same thing, bless his soul - And look where he is now, dead in a ditch. "...Better a living loser, than a dead champion." though Koga couldn't understand her mumbled words, he could feel the sorrow of not only her, but the other adults around the room also.

✮Since then, Himuro and Kaneda became his and Ryuki's mentors.

✮During the first day, Himuro took Ryuki to hell knows where, while Koga was taken by Kaneda to Sekibayashi's wrestling ring. Y/N was there, though she seemed even more silent and uncomfortable than before. Was she not comfortable with so many people surrounding her? It could be. She seemed like an introvert.

✮She got to watch him make a fool of himself, unable to keep up with Seki's squatting, and got beaten up to hell by Jose, how embarrassing.

✮Still, she didn't seem to sketch any ounce of disgust or disapproval. Instead, she silently took a handkerchief and delicately held his bloody and bruised face, cleaning it up.

✮He was a blushing mess.

✮When he was told about the Kengan vs Purgatory Tournament, he felt the need to see you and tell you all about it - But you already knew about it, of course.

✮Though he was a little flabbergast at how actively involved you are in this underground mess, his voice got so genuine and vulnerable, asking you if you thought he had any chance to secure a spot on the Kengan roster.

Your beautiful eyes bore sharply into his own, almost intimidating him. "I would say it sorely depends not only on your improvement in the next half a year, but on the amount of veterans that we manage to score on our side. Don't take it personally, but I would rather have 'Sasa or Agito, rather than a newby like you." Koga gulped, taking the brunt of her blunt sincerity - Though he hated to admit it, she was completely right. "On the other hand... Well, adding the political problem into the equation, and that we couldn't get in contact with even 'Tsumi or Rei... I wouldn't say it's all that impossible for you to take that spot. I would take you over some dumbass like Rihito any day." the way she rolled her eyes with complete denigration of that man she mentioned seemed to encourage him a little. "Ha! Thanks, Y/N! Lemme get you another frappe as thanks." though he suggested that, Y/N was already up on her feet, having paid the bill herself, and walked out of the cafe. "Hey, wait up!" he jogged after her, as she took the shortest path to the park, enjoying the warm weather. What a peculiar girl, Koga thought. "Hey, Y/N, why did you just leave like that?" Y/N rose a questioning eyebrow. "I knew you would follow." her simple reply shocked Koga, but at the same time, it also amused him. "Koga." she suddenly called out to him, stopping in her tracks. "Don't die too. Not like him." her voice was soft and sentimental. "I am no Buddhist, I cannot find the comfort in suffering, nor in the ephemeral state of life." "Come on now, don't say such things! There's no way I'd die!" chuckling leisurely, Koga swung his around around her shoulder, pulling her into his side, smirking confidently. At first, he didn't realise that her entire being froze up, and gingerly put away his hand so he wouldn't touch her. "Don't get cocky and don't underestimate your opponent." came her last bit of wisdom. "Don't worry, I won't! In fact, I promise I'll get so strong that I secure that spot!" he seemed determined enough. For the first time, Koga noticed a faint smile on her otherwise stoic face. It was beautiful.

✮True to his promise, Koga continued to train hard with Seki, and even listening to Ryuki's advice, all to get stronger and stronger. All for his goal, and to keep his promise to you.

✮He started training with Adam and Cosmo's master, went ice-skating even. Funny enough, you were also there, but you didn't bother with them much - It was rather humiliating, admitting to knowing Cosmo and Kureishi when they were playing around as Ina Bauer.

✮Still, Koga couldn't help but steal a few glances at you and your elegant skating - You seemed so at easy and happy dancing, as though you were in a dream state.

✮Cosmo and Adam teased him when they realised, and mentioned how you were a natural at skating, often coming by just to dance around. It only made Koga more determined to get better at it and complete Adam's challenge.

✮Needless to say, after this was over, Koga invited you to skate whenever he had some time to spare, and though he wasn't as graceful as you, nor did he know how to dance, you held endless patience in teaching him - And you even held his hand! If only you could see how red his face was as you helped him twirl around!

✮You were there to watch Ryuki's fight, but you admit to Koga rather shamelessly that you were far more interested in Nitoku's fight. It was very rare to see him going - Poor man must be getting broke again - But it made you happy. No other good fighter in Kengan was such a Sambo master, and you loved seeing all of his hard techniques dominating his enemies.

✮On occasion, Koga would ask you to come over for shopping with him and Ryuki, hoping to help the clueless boy get a fashion sense - Only to discover that you were also very much ripped away from reality, but just hid it better.

✮You simply accepted to dress with whatever clothes you were given, not having any opinion whatsoever about fashion, and likewise, had no clue about movies, games, or anything pop culture. He was shocked out of his mind.

✮How could either of you live just a secluded life, away from anything pop-culture?!

✮He had to remediate that by taking you to watch all kinds and genres of movies, introducing you to all of his playlists, showing you video games, arcades and what not.

✮Much to his surprise, you didn't show an immediate interest in absolute anything.

✮In truth, he thought he failed you, only to later hear you throwing off-comments about random things that he showed you - He was so touched! He got even more determined to help you find out things that you like.

✮Though you were a bit skeptical at first, you even agreed to have sleepovers with him, where you'd spend the whole night watching movie marathons or playing co-op games of all kinds.

✮Koga was so, so happy just spending time with you, and his crush on you only grew.

✮Especially after you gave him a small clap after winning a fight against Jose, or encouraging him briefly to get over his fear of his uncle and return to his karate dojo.

✮He even showed-off his newly polished finishing move to you, and he was so proud!

✮Though he thought things were going very well for him, the sky fell crumbling down on him upon discovering Ryuki was actually a remorseless killer.

✮He went to you for comfort, his eyes in tears, but you seemed completely unsympathetic.

"So what if he killed?" Koga's heart stopped moving. "When it's kill or be killed, you wouldn't let someone else take your own life, would you?" "Wh-What? How can you speak so casually about taking a life?!" he gasped, feeling so betrayed by his friend and crush. "You've lived a sheltered life, Koga. I speak from experience." Y/N shrugged simply, tilting her head slightly, confused at why he was overreacting. "S-So... Y-You're trying to say that you... You've killed, also?" he stuttered over his words pitifully. "Yup." she popped. "Didn't have much of an alternative, y'know? Life's life, and life sucks. Suppose I'd still be killing, were it not for Katahara." she hummed dryly. "Wh-What are you saying, Y/N?! What do you mean?" poor boy's mind was completely blank, unable to understand why the girl was so uncaring towards human life. "Stop being so over-dramatic." she rolled her eyes. "You got upset at Koga for no reason. Moreover, if Ryuki said that wasn't a man, but a bug, then no doubt, it was a Worm. Worms deserve death." "... I'm done with you. Both of you." Koga made the mistake of looking into your eyes, and saw how confused you looked at his reaction - You seemed as innocently confused and unaware, just like Ryuki was. Still, he couldn't continue staying around psychopath, so he left, choosing to focused entirely on fighting.

✮Thankfully, that didn't last long. Not only did he see you in the front row of his employment fight, but you were hanging around like a ghost during Ryuki's fight also - But you didn't intervene. You just left.

✮Though he made up with Ryuki, he still had to make up with you also somehow.

✮You didn't seem too bothered by it though. You even told him you had no idea why he was apologising. Water under the bridge, though you did point out that his naive thinking would make him lose in life.

✮Months passed, and you heard the new that Yamashita-san and Koga were attacked by the Worms, and you rushed to the hospital as fast as you could.

✮You didn't speak a word, though Koga could see that you were worried sick for him. He felt so flattered.

✮Nothing he did for you, however, earned the reaction that you made as soon as that black haired man, Ohma, entered his hospital room.

✮ "Ohma!" Y/N jumped to her feet, her voice raising for the first time in ages. The man was surprised to see you going out of your way to hug someone, but he merely chuckled, glad that people actually missed him.

✮You were also on Ohma's side when he told Koga he couldn't fight in the tournament. He was far too injured, and he was still nowhere on the veterans' level.

✮On the other hand, he felt light-hearted with Ohma's encouraging, and with you pushing the weirdo jerk you called Raian out of the window.

✮Seeing him in the hospital bed like that, you found yourself zoning out all the way until everyone left the two of you alone.

✮Koga ended up telling you about the guys who attacked him, to which you explained they were Worms - Hence why, you mentioned previously that they deserve to die. Now, he understood your words, and he regretted temporarily severing ties with you. He apologised again.

✮You ended up telling him a little about your life, how you were an orphan in Mainland China and how you were subjected to the Gu Ritual, and what it meant. The trauma you went through at such a frail age, and how you still can't get over many of the things that happened. You can't stand people touching you, you're constantly on the edge, crowds make you uncomfortable, and you always feel like people want to kill you out of nowhere.

✮You also tell him more delicate aspects of your life before old man Katahara found you and took you in, saying Sayaka needed a younger sister, but even with Agito as a mentor, someone who went through the same things as you, you couldn't get over what happened.

✮Instead, you adopted the same apathetic facade as the Fang and tried to carry on with life, hoping that someday, things will change.

✮After seeing Agito couldn't help you live a normal life, Himuro agreed to take you in and tried to show you that life wasn't as dangerous and evil as you were subjected to previously, and people weren't out to harm you all the time.

✮Koga ended up with tears in his eyes, and his first reaction was to throw his arms around you, pulling you in a tight bear hug and apologising for every time he touched you so familiarly, as he was so used to doing that with friends.

✮Once he realised that once again, through the hug, he was touching you, he tried to pull away - But much to his surprise, you didn't let him get away from the embrace.

✮"Thanks." he heard your soft whisper in his ear, and his heart started trembling even more from emotion, realising that you trusted him so much.

✮Being so familiar with most of the Kengan roster, you felt comfortable staying in the arena with them, silently cheering on them and getting a better view of the matches.

✮You even texted Koga to get over also - After all, why wouldn't he?

✮Both of you were overly frustrated when Gaolang lost his match all because of that stupid ringout rule, and for the first time, Koga noticed a grim frustration in your eyes. It wasn't often that you expressed any definite emotion, but by far, this was the most defined he's seen yet.

✮Contrary to the match-up rules though, instead of a Kengan fighter stepping first into the ring, a Purgatory beast of a man was already there, cackling like a maniac and taunting the Kengan side.

✮Though Koga wanted to curse under his breath at that petty behaviour, he noticed you unable to peer your eyes from that man. You were tensed up and trembling. Was it from fear? But why? Did you know that man?

✮That man was holding a dog collar and leash in his grasp, twirling around the collar with his finger and laughing. Was he deranged in the mind?

"Hey, Y/N, what happened?" Koga tried to gently call out to you, but you jumped away from him, and stepped back as if to seek comfort from the Fang. You were visibly hyperventilating and panicking. "I see you, pretty girl! You've grown up so much. I wonder how you look now, all string up to a tree with this leather beauty." unconsciously, Y/N held her hands over her neck, feeling herself getting strangled by the neck to the point of passing out. Agito knelt in front of you, trying to snap you out of it, and even Himuro rushed to your side, but nothing worked. "Come on over, pretty girl, you know you want your revenge, don't ya? You kill all those poor bastards, just to get the chance to kill me too, didn't you?" the man taunted. "You were my favourite apprentice, after all. Especially with this little thing around your neck." "That fucker! How dare he?! I'LL KILL HIM!" Koga got so angry that he almost stormed to the ring to kill that man for traumatising and humiliating you for most of your life. Ohma had to hold him down from doing anything stupid. "Huh? Don't worry, I'll fuck him up real good for ya, Y/N!" Rihito grinned widely at you, but you were unresponsive. "Come on, babe, come on out, let's play! Surely, you don't wanna wake up with a phone call telling you either of your daddies mysterious died, huh~?" all of a sudden, your shivering stopped, and an eerie aura engulfed you. Agito knew best, it was the same as when she was rescued from the ritual. It was the same as when HE was rescued from the ritual. The girl was going to fight to death for her revenge. "Piss off, weakling." Y/N hissed, using an elbow hit that slammed Rihito into the wall. "H-Hey, Y/N, you can't go out there!" Koga tried to stop her, but she was blind and deaf to anything surrounding her as she let her coat fall to the ground, stepping in the ring in a crop top and loose pants. "Oh, look at her, look at her go! Ready for the show, baby girl?" the man's laugh resounded creepily as he threw the dog leash at her. She simply discarded it out of the ring without any emotion.

Y/N took no stance, while the monster of a man got in whatever stance he liked. As soon as he lept at her with his speed, Y/N punched him in the cheek with an Ironbreaker, following up with faster and faster brutal blows in a dangerous storm, only to get her wrists caught by him. "What's it, Kitten? Afraid to unleash your tiny little claws?" while he was busy taunting he, Y/N channeled her anger to use Agito's trump card technique, the Dragon Shot, in his groin area, before grabbing him by the neck and using a Redirection Kata to throw him to the ground, before following with a strong kick to send him flying away, towards the edge of the ring. Y/N didn't allow him a moment of respiro, as she sprung to his side with a barrage of well-aimed jabs to all of his vitals, easily side-stepping his punches, and continuing to overwhelm him with Adamantine punches in the face. Y/N could faintly hear her name being chanted, cheers from her friends resounding through the place, only for her vision to blur suddenly. "Stupid little whore." the criminal spat as he easily punched her face, making her fall to the ground, spitting blood. It almost felt as if nothing she did was capable of comparing to the single hit she received, in terms of damage. "Stand up, you stupid girl. I'll show you what defectors gets for betraying their master." Y/N tried to attack again, but this time, her hand got easily caught. "You've grown weak, you useless girl." with a twist of her arm, the man harshly slammed her to the ground. "Renounce those stupid friendships you made that got you weak, and I'll consider taking you in again." he tried to slam his foot on her head, but she rolled away just in time, leaping away, but he caught up with her, burying his hand in her hair. "You're nothing without me." he slammed her face into the concrete. "You'll never escape me." he rose her head just enough to punch her away, before kneeing her in the diaphragm, causing her to hunch over in pain, to which she received an elbow to the back of the head, continued with repeated slams of her face into the ground once again, and a kick to the face, making her roll away. "YOU CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT YOU, YOU PATHETIC LITTLE BITCH!" he slammed her foot on her head. "Give up now. You can't defeat me. Just admit you're pathetic and come back to me. I promise I'll discipline you well." he cradled her face close to his own, before punching her away.

"Y/N, GET UP! GET UP!" she head Koga calling out to her, as well as the other fighters. The world was spinning around with her, and she felt like she was going to die. Her mouth was overflowing with blood that she continued to spit and vomit with each failed attempt at getting up.

"Ah, is that your boyfriend, toots? Should I start by ripping him to pieces in front of you? Yeah, that sounds good." at the simple mental image of a dead Koga, Y/N found the strength to spring with such speed and velocity strength that she took the beast by surprise with a well-aimed punch to his diaphragm, knocking his breath away, following with another storm of jabs and kicks that almost felt like overwhelmed him, until he retaliated with a punch to her jaw. "Is that all your love can get out of you?! Ha! How pathetic!" When he tried to punch her again though, she managed to catch his fist. "I'll rip your fucking throat out." Y/N hissed, kicking his breath away again, before overwhelming him with multiple aimed jabs. "There it is, there it is, look at you! I told ya, didn't I? It's not love that drives you - You can't love! You're a monster, just like me! You're incapable of love or being loved!" he cackled at her. "It's hatred that makes you strong! Hatred, rage, fear and hunger - All of this made you stronger!" he laughed loudly. "Now it's time I discipline my rebelious little bitch. Surely, you can handle me, can't you?"

Just as Y/N expected, that fucker released his Guihun and was ready to actually rip her to shreds for running away. "Y/N! YOU CAN DO IT! SHOW HIM WHO'S THE BOSS! WIN THIS, Y/N!" at once, both Y/N and the criminal clashed fists at such speed that even Koga and Yamashita had problem keeping up with. This almost equal exchange of hit and receive went on until Y/N received a kick to her heart, before getting picked up by the neck - He strangled her just enough to make her see stars, before punching her to the ground.

Y/N was unmoving. She was cursing herself for being so weak against the sucker who made a hell out of her entire life. She wanted revenge more than anything she ever wanted in life.

Faintly, she could hear the referee calling the countdown, slow and steady. In the distance, she could her hear friends calling out her name. How annoying.

"I told you, didn't I? You're not even strong enough to protect those you claim to love. It's because you're weak and pathetic. You'll pay for running away, Y/N, starting with killing that runt in front of you."

The only sound heard through the stadium was Y/N laughter as she got to her feet, a wide grin on her face. "I'd like to see you try, fuckass."

With an angry scowl, the criminal rushed to her, only for Y/N to catch his wrist with one hand, delivering an elbow shot Flashing Steel with the other, continuing with an Ironbreaker to the jaw and a number of ground grappling techniques that destroyed his elbow and knee. "I don't need you teaching me anything. I don't need anything from you. This is my Formless Niko style. My Y/N style. You can't take this away from me, no matter how hard you try." Y/N hissed, deflecting another punch and hitting his nose, making him growl. He grabbed her head and headbutted her hard, once and twice, sending them both to the ground.

"You'll regret this, you fucking whore--" in a flash, Y/N rolled away to avoid a kick, before she aimed a kick to his neck, at his windpipe, making his stagger enough for her to swipe his feet, sending him to the ground. She straddled his waist and angrily started pounding away at his head, releasing all of her pent up anger and frustration, her fear, her tears and everything that tainted her heart. "I was just a child, you fucking psychopath! You ruined me! You ruined my life! Fucking die already!" what happened after that, Y/N wasn't sure, but somehow, she was being held away from the dead body of the man she just murdered.

Koga had panicked, seeing her so far gone, continuing to destroy the man even after the ref called out the match was over. He threw his arms around her from behind, prying her away. "Y/N! Y/N, snap out of it! It's done, you killed him!" Y/N grew lax in his embrace, her body trembling softy. He realised she was weeping. "I was just a child." he could hear her sobbing. "I was barely 5 years old. What the fuck. What did I do to deserve it?" she continued crying in his arms, her head hung and bordering despair. "You did nothing wrong, Y/N. You didn't deserve any of it." Koga gently soothed her, turning her to hold her tightly to his chest, caressing her hair. "You're safe now. It's okay. Everything is okay now."

Agito and Himuro also stepped into the ring, saying she did great and that everything is going to be alright now, there's nothing that can hurt her anymore. With a nod of agreement to the men, Koga picked her up and got her to Hanafusa for a check up. She didn't need to hear that she lost because she killed her opponent. He deserved it, that son of a bitch. He wasn't even the littlest bit upset that his crush killed - She deserved the comfort of revenge and the peace of mind that her past can't haunt her anymore.

✮After Hanafusa took care of your injuries, he suggested you rest - But of course, you couldn't. You needed an urgent shower... And eventually, a long sleep. You were exhausted.

✮Koga waited for you just outside the stalls with your clothes and a towel.

✮He kept his eyes close so he wouldn't peak at your naked body, though his cheeks were deeply flustered.

✮ "What does it matter if one more person sees it?" Koga was really upset by the depressive comment, but didn't open his eyes. Instead, he stepped forward and wrapped the towel around your body like a blanket.

✮"It matters. I want you to feel comfortable around me. To know you can trust me. To know that I'd never do anything to hurt you. I want you to know that I'll protect you no matter what."

✮For the first time, Koga saw you blushing.

✮"But I already know that, Koga. I trust you." now he was the one flustered.

✮Taken over by such an intense feeling of love that he cupped your face and gently kissed you. You've never had anyone being so caring and attentive with you. You felt yourself melting in his arms. "I love you."

✮You returned later for the rest of the matches and celebrated Kengan's win, though you were sad for the patriarch's death against the Worms.

✮You continued cheering for Koga as he trained and learnt more stiles from different fighters.

✮You began to feel more at ease around him, indulging and even finding genuine interest in whatever pop-culture things he introduced you to, and you even started doing your own research.

✮You quite literally renovated a whole room into a home-cinema just so you can cuddle in bed with Koga and binge-watch different shows. The same with video-games which you project on the large screen.

✮You were two fools, very much in love.

✮During the Berserker Bowl, you encouraged him and were so happy and proud of him for getting in the finals, even after fighting Ryuki... Only for him to lose to Rihito. It was the biggest annoyance of your life, but given his injuries sustained in the previous fights, it was no surprise.

✮Koga deserved to win though.

✮That night, you tended to his wounds and praised him for his victory.

✮Koga was very flustered by your beautiful smile and all your sweet words, to the point that he felt lost in your love.

✮Your intimate night with Koga is going to be filled with giggles as Koga likes to keep things light-hearted and make you feel comfortable.

✮He's going to kiss every inch of your body and worship you.

✮He's addicted to everything about you, and he can't get enough of you. He just loves you so much.

✮And officially having you as his girlfriend made him the happiest in a long time.

✮He's always going to support you with everything, and will be there to hold your hand when you need someone to guide you in life.

✮He's also very patient and will be there to comfort you and uplift you in your hardest moments.

✮And whenever you're out, he's going to hold your hand with your fingers intertwined - And if he'd feeling giddy enough, he might even swing your arms.

----------

Being in a relationship with Wakatsuki Takeshi... Being in a relationship with Yoroizuka Saw Paing... Being in a relationship with Kure Raian... Being in a relationship with Tokuno’o Tokumichi... Being in a relationship with Kano Agito... Being in a relationship with Gaolang Wongsawat... Being in a relationship with Gaoh Ryuki... Being in a relationship with Narushima Koga... Being in a relationship with Hatsumi Sen

[amaiguri]

I redesigned my Main Antagonist

Kivihk, the God of Blood and Beginnings, has slowly risen from "antagonist of one story arc" to "main antagonist" and thus, he needs a new design and personality to match.

What was I working with? He had this arrogant, abrasive, "I'm waaay better than you" sort of attitude before. Imagine like... stereotypical misogynist college bad boy who drinks and parties too much and stuff. And he wanted to take over the world because he was an entitled baby.

So. He was evil and boring.

And also, he wasn't wearing enough clothes and this made him LESS hot, imo. I mean, look at this mess...

So then, I fixed him.

Initially, I fixed his second-in-command, Vanya, and gave her an actual tragic arc and stuff. And she went from "boring, evil goon" to "realistic depiction of a trad wife being gaslit into thinking giving birth was her only value, only to be put down for doing the one thing they told her she should do." So, she's this EMOTIONAL MESS and she hates him but she loves him cuz she doesn't think she has options...

Except the Demonic/Eldritch horror version. So her body will eventually be consumed and taken over by him. And she has to just be happy about this... SEE? That's FUN! (And by "Fun", I mean, it's horrific.)

So, next, I thought "Maybe, I'll remove Kivihk from the story except as a force-of-nature villain, with Vanya as his face!" Especially since "God of Blood and Beginnings" sounds a lot like "birth" to me -- so making him more of a feminine villain just made sense. I even started doing some sketches for this potential change -- Below: Vanya as she is now and Vanya as she could be as the avatar of a dead God.

But then I thought about how much editing that would require and died inside...

So I went and fleshed out the last 2000 years of backstory. And lo and behold, my usual trick of "just imagine going through their backstory" gave me a lot more empathy for the kind of people these two would be... And for one: Kivihk would not ACT like an entitled little baby all the time. He would, in fact, be pretty gentle, patient, and nice. He's a God, after all. He's a God who is superior to all other mortals and he has forever to achieve his goals. As I described it to my Discord:

He doesn't hate humans... he just doesn't see them as people. Do you gloat at cows? No. You aren't insane. You DO still get mad at them if they break your fence or refuse to eat the food you give them, though...

So, with this in mind, I went and redrew him to give him that "JRPG Final Boss First Form" vibe. In his human disguise atm, he's got darker skin because the majority of humans in that area have dark skin. But most of my Demons have ashy-silver skin, so that's kinda what I'm going for with his "Godling" form.

To be clear, in his TRUE true form, he'd probably have like 5 more of those black "burned" arms, 6 more eyes, and like 3 flaming halos or something. I also think his God form would be more fishlike, since fish lay a lot of legs, and take a lot of influence from sea angels (since they're clear/white but have a red core and I think that's a great aesthetic for a God of Blood).

So yeah! That's a list of all the changes atm. I'm not even sure if this is the final destination of my changes so if you have questions or suggestions, I am open to them. Thanks for going on this journey with me! Now I just have to do a proper illustration to update this banner already... Hee hee!

[capsensislagamoprh]

"For the love of - it was a joke Victor! A Joke!"

"Yuri, this is not a thing to joke about. I need confirmation. I need to know. The suit. It is not. Not. Powder blue?"

"No! Just the tie is." Yuri held up his hands in surrender, backing away from the steadily approaching Victor. 

"It is not. It's not that hideous tie I saw last week?"

Yuri shot a glance to Christophe, hoping to enlist help. "I... it is? It's powder blue? I ... Look, I don't know what to tell you! He likes it, I think?"

Victor's hands twitched. He didn't know whether to strangle Yuri for teasing him about such an important matter on his wedding day, or dig himself bodily through the wall to rip that hideous tie from his fiance's hands, then use it to light a pyre to their love.

Christoph sighed. "Go see if you can get him to switch to the cream one?"

Offered an out, Yuri dashed from the room. Gulping down stress before knocking on the door down the hall. Phichit popped his head out, eyes staring down the passageway before grabbing Yuri by his shirt and pulling him in. "What's the verdict?"

"Go with the cream."

Yuuri was panting, two ties in his hands. He'd ordered the blue one to be the same color as Victor's eyes, but color match technology had landed him with something that looked like it had been dyed by a preschooler and dropped off the back end of a nondescript van.

"I don't know what to do about this," Yuuri quivered. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

"I... I don't fucking know," Yuri whispered, his hand making a mess of his hair. "I don't know anything about this stuff. I mean, it's not my style, you know?"

Phichit rubbed small circles into Yuuri's back. "It's alright. We'll figure something out. I mean, the cream is very lovely. I like the pattern, and the thin gold highlights are very nice."

"It is," Yuuri sniffed. "It's just not what I wanted. I don't get to surprise him often, and..."

Yuri was going to scream. This was the third fashion related emergency, fifth last minute detail, and seventh 'sudden something'. None of which had been anything of the sort. It was the constant boiling of emotions, back and forth, and threatening 'somehow this is all your fault' glare he got from both sides. Look, he wasn't tactful. Yuri knew that. But if they didn't get their shit together, he wouldn't have to be. He'd be ducking murder charges. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. "What if I show him the tie? Then you can know if he likes it."

Yuuri's brown eyes widened, tears welling up. "You'd do that?"

"I uh... fuck." Damn emotions and all who had them! Snapping both ties from Yuuri's hands, he took a moment to share a deeply profound expression with Phichit. Fuck wedding day jitters, this was verging on a melt down. His own. Backing away quickly, Yuri spun around, ties in hand to once again storm down the hall.

"Are you okay?"

"Beka!" Yuri threw his face into Otabek's chest. "I'm going mad! I can feel it! Steam is coming from the top of my head."

"I was wondering why your hair was curling."

Yuri smacked his chest, sending the ties bouncing. "Shut it. I have to show these ties to Victor."

"Wasn't the blue supposed to be a surprise?"

"Yeah, but apparently it didn't turn out right, and now Katsudon is having a frickin’ break down, and I have to keep Victor from having a conniption over ugly ties. Every time I try to help, it gets worse, and I am going fucking insane, Beka! The homicide will be justified!"

"Ah." Reaching out, Otabek pulled the ties from the blond's grip. "Tell Victor you've solved the problem. I'll be right back."

"But I haven't..."

"I believe in you." Otabek walked off.

Yuri blinked, turned to Victor's door and knocked. Christophe threw the door open, shutting it quickly when he saw Yuri. He knocked again. "Open it up!"

The door opened a sliver. "What news do you have?"

Yuri's eye twitched in response to another spike in his blood pressure. "Cream in, powder out." Christophe opened the door a little more.

"And the suit?"

"I already told you, it's not powder blue."

"Hum..." Christophe rose a well manicured brow. "Right, well, that's good. You should go get ready now."

Yuri took a deep breath. Great. He'd been kicked out of dealing with Victor’s drama, which normally would be a blessing, but now he was stuck with Katsudon's whole mess and he wasn't sure which one was worse. Spastic Victor or sobbing piggie.

Fortunately, he didn't have long to consider the situation. Hiroko came shuffling past, looking lovely in her gown, pearls dangling from her neck in a double loop, hair neatly coiffed with a rather striking hair clip. Yuri made a mental note to ask her where she got it. As he watched her knock on Yuuri's door and be let in, Otabek slipped past, heading into their room. Yuri followed.

"What happened?"

"Nothing." Yuri didn't buy that, staring at Otabek, nose far too close to his own for any sort of focus. "Mrs. Katsuki is going to help Yuuri," he said, rummaging through a bag. Pulling out a small wooden box, he turned. "What was the issue with the ties?"

Yuri huffed, arms crossing as he slouched against the wall. "Piggie ordered the blue one to match Victor's eyes," gagging noises were caught up in a snort. "It's not the right color, and he started spiraling. Victor found out and started panicking. He hit that stage where he's a danger to himself and society, so Christophe sent me to figure out what was going on. I tried to tell him! I tried! He wasn't listening. Not really. He thought I said the whole suit was ruined, and he freaked out more, got this look in his eye..."

Otabek nodded, watching Yuri as he spoke. "Alright." Turning to the box, he popped the small lock, searching through the contents. Yuri huffed, grumbled, then propped his chin on Otabek's shoulder by virtue of standing on his toes.

"What's this then?"

"Stick pins."

"Stick... what?"

"Stick pins. I think they are called tie tacks these days, though they are not the same thing."

"These days? You are so old."

Otabek hummed in response. When he found what he was looking for, he headed to Victor's door. Curious, Yuri followed.

"Yes?" Christophe answered flatly.

Otabek held up the cream tie. "Carnation knot." Christophe's brow raised, his eyes focused, discerning. Otabek held up a gold stick pin sporting a sizable round, brilliant cut topaz. "Center nestled," he added. Then he opened his hand to show a delicate double heart tack pin no bigger than a pinky nail, a pink topaz chip purposely placed on one heart, a turquoise chip in the other. "Hidden fold up, collar tucked, pinned."

Christophe's smile spread to his whole body as his familiar cheer returned. "Yes! Perfect!"

Without another word, Otabek turned towards Yuuri's door, leaving Yuri wondering what world war code book those two learned that shit from.

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11

[sleekervae]

Yoü & I [1.7]

Masterlist

A/N: Re-editing this story has been good for me on a give-my-brain-a-break-from-life level.

Warnings: self-conflicting emotions, small angst, fluff

--

"Morning, honey," Melody's smiling face and perfectly messed, yet neat bed head was illuminated in the soft light of the morning. She sat on the edge of the bed with two hot coffees already prepared.

"Morning," Luke smiled, moving to sit up against the headboard. 

"How's your back?" she asked. Luke had had a bit of a stiff spine since he'd spent the other night on Charlotte's couch. It occurred now and again, but it wasn't anything a couple Tylenols couldn't fix.

"Not bad," he replied. The bed in his house was always more preferable than a couch and there was the added bonus of getting to wake up beside his girl. Though, they rarely cuddled in the night as Melody always said he was like a human furnace -- always overheated. 

"I'll make us some breakfast," Melody placed the second coffee mug on the bedside table and gave him a sparing kiss. She left the bedroom wearing only his t-shirt. 

Melody had sent Luke a lengthy text apology yesterday, explaining yet again how out of line she was and how she would promise to calm down. And like always, Luke went crawling back to her, swallowing every apology like it was water. But when she slipped up, Luke could see that Melody was trying. She was doing everything she could to prove herself with this last round and even if Luke's minor instincts told him this was just another honeymoon phase, it was much nicer to be getting along and laughing rather than fighting and crying. 

They couldn't always make time for each other, they were both professionals so it was to be expected; but when they could make time for each other Melody was as sweet at cherry pie. Sure, the insensitive comments flew out now and again but Luke had taken to letting them slide in favour of keeping the peace. 

Charlotte meanwhile was going out of her mind whenever Melody was around. Having to be home for the next little while meant that even when they were all hanging out, significant others would tag along and Melody just couldn't stop rubbing her the wrong way. Even Bryana had picked up on it long ago and the two of them had had a lengthy conversation about how -- mean Melody was. 

And yet, time and time again, Charlotte kept her mouth shut for the sake of her friend. Maybe that was why she kept letting Luke into her home after their spats, because a part of her knew that the nights they shared were all she was ever going to get from him. 

"It's not like I haven't tried warming up to her," Bryana shook her head as they walked the marina together, "But she just has this unpleasantness about her that I can't shake off. I come home and I need to have a shower after we hang out,"

Charlotte looked out over the crowds swarming Venice Beach, "What does Ashton say?"

Bryana scoffed, "Ashton can't stand her. But you already knew that. As far as he's concerned, he'd put a rocket up her ass before he'd ever willingly hang out with her. She's just so... so..."

"Cold," Charlotte said glumly, "I just don't understand how Luke lives like he's in fucking Lovers' Lane one day and then the next he's over at my place crying his eyes out,"

"How often is he at your place?" Bryana asked. 

Charlotte shook her head, "About as often as I was calling him over Ben," 

"Damn," the taller blonde sighed. 

"Do you ever wonder why we're so... self-destructive as a species?" she asked.

Bryana raised her eyebrows, "Damn, you going hardcore philosophical on me?" 

"It just bothers me," Charlotte shrugged, "Three years I let myself get tossed around in a salad spinner of emotional turmoil. Now I'm watching Luke go through what I went through; we both see the same thing in each other and yet willingly stay in a precarious and chaotic situation. I mean -- that must register as clinical insanity!"

Bryana glanced at the ground thoughtfully, kicking some loose pebbles that were left on the blackstop, "Well, ask yourself: why did you stay with Ben? When you had every single person in your life telling you how toxic that relationship was, why did you stay?" 

Charlotte replied immediately, "I didn't want to be alone," 

"But sweetie, you're not alone. Your girls love you to death, just like how the guys love Luke like their own brother!" she said.

"I don't know what it is," Charlotte shook her head, "I just didn't want to leave because I was scared to be alone. Maybe I have daddy issues or something but... the idea of him leaving me was so fucking terrifying that I would do anything to make him stay. And in the end, I still lost," 

Bryana nodded, "And maybe Luke needs to lose before he can wake the fuck up. Because we all know if he sticks with this girl, his sanity won't be long for this world," 

It was five days before 5 Seconds of Summer and Catch the Caper would take off for the next leg of the Sounds Live Feels Live tour. The guys were spending the day filming a new music video for their fully developed demo of 'Girls Talk Boys'. And Luke had a little proposition for Charlotte.

"You want me to be in your video?" she sounded shocked, yet a tad excited as she talked into her cellphone.

"Don't sound so surprised, you've been in our videos before," he replied, referencing to when Catch the Caper featured as "bad girls" for their video for 'Good Girls', "You're a natural actress,"

"Bullshit. What do you want me to do?" 

"Well, let me set the scene: you're Sigourney Weaver all alone in your trendy New York apartment, and all of the sudden shit! There's a ghost living in your fridge and it wants to eat your soul!" Luke explained.

"How original," she chuckled. 

He smirked back, "And you act all terrified and victimized until four unexplainably handsome, professional supernatural exterminators come to your place to remove the ghost safely and humanely," 

"You can remove ghosts humanely?" she asked, "What the hell do you bait them with?"

"We haven't planned that far ahead in our thesis," Luke replied, "You wanna do it?"

"Of course I wanna do it!"

The next day Charlotte showed up to the designated studio where she was thrusted into all things Ghostbusters. The crew had even recreated the signature Ghostbusters' hearse and had put together almost authentic Ghostbusters gear for the boys. And somehow, Michael had been 'volunteered' to dress up as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. 

She and Calum had to wolf whistle when Michael came waddling in, looking like a sumo-wrestling sailor.

"Looking good, babe!" Charlotte awed.

"Charlie's thinking thoughts," Calum smirked, "Charlie's having ideas seeing your legs in those marshmallows," 

"You're runway material!" she cheered. 

Michael rolled his eyes, "You guys suck at flattery,"

Charlotte was set up in a small kitchenette that reminded her of the studio apartment she used to share with Maria when they first branched out. There was another actor in an all black, skin-tight suit and alien-esque type of mask. He was supposed to hide in the fridge and spring out at the guys in an attack, where Charlotte would 'hit' him with the frying pan to take him down. 

Ashton and Michael's mock bravery was almost admirable, only Charlotte couldn't help but burst into giggles at the faces Michael pulled when he was wrestling with the 'ghost'. Ashton wasn't much help to Michael as he jumped around from counters to chairs into the exceedingly small space to try and terminate the creature -- until Charlotte would come in and bump the ghost with her frying pan. If anything, the ghost looked more like he belonged in the Alien series, but she wouldn't say anything. It was all just for pure fun.

Charlotte was allowed to hang out on set after her scenes were finished, and she had fun watching the boys be heroic Ghostbusters. It reminded her of their heroism in the 'Don't Stop' video, the one where Calum absolutely despised his lime green costume. They were hunting for ghosts in libraries with floating books, and trailing through basements looking for a Slimer plush. 

And of course, it wouldn't be a complete Ghostbusters homage without some gooey, green slime. 

In Charlotte's opinion, Calum was the luckiest as hardly any of the plastic-smelling goop spattered on his face. The boys had flashbacks to their Kids Choice Awards performance where they were literally showered in the stuff. After his own sliming, Luke ran a hand through his goopy hair and his eyes fixed on Charlotte sitting in one of the folding chairs. She and another producers were applauding their award-worthy performance.

"Hey Shorty, can I have a hug?" he asked, extending his goop-dripping arms toward her. Charlotte immediately leaped out of the chair.

"Not gonna happen, Tolan," she replied defiantly.

Luke feigned hurt, "But I trapped a ghost for you!"

"Ashton trapped the ghost for me! And he didn't even do it right!" she exclaimed.

"Hey!" Ashton whined, "I distracted him for you!"

"That's the thanks we get for doing a civil service," Michael huffed. 

Luke took the moment to dive and try to grab Charlotte, but she ducked out of the way just in time. He spent the next five minutes trying to chase her down and slime her.

"Slime was not in my contract!"

"Oh, c'mere!"

♛♛♛

Charlotte was packed up yet again, bags stationed by the door as she preened and fixed her makeup in the bathroom mirror. Tomorrow, the tour would continue to England, tonight however Charlotte and the girls would have a night out. It was Maria's twentieth birthday. They still weren't old enough to frequent any clubs, but that didn't stop Maria from having a little get together at her own place. And surely she would have some alcohol ready on standby. 

Taking one final glance in the mirror, Charlotte had a crippling pang of deja vu flood through her. Her hair was curled in bouncy rings and her eyes lined in dark, smokey makeup. And yet, there was something oddly familiar about her look, the clothes she wore and the excitement she felt. The last time she was on her way to a birthday bash was just over a year ago with Luke -- where he met Melody. It felt as though it was only yesterday when he had her cornered on her couch, begging her to come with him to this party he had no interest in...

"Why don't you take one of the guys with you?" she asked, trying to look past his towering figure to watch her Dr. Who episode.

"They already made plans, and Harry really wants me to show up. Boost my image or some shit like that," Luke whined, moving to block her view again, "Come on, it'll be more bearable if you're there with me," 

Charlotte glared up at him, "What the fuck would a nobody like me do at some socialite's stupid birthday party? It's at a club and we're not even old enough to drink,"

"Like that's stopped you before," he scoffed, getting down on his knees and literally begging, "C'mon, Char, please? I will fucking -- I'll come over and do your dishes for the next month, or even your laundry! Better yet -- I'll grant you access to my HBO account for the rest of the year!" 

Charlotte shook her head at him. The introvert in her told her 'no friggin' chance in hell', but Luke's pleading puppy dog eyes had more effect. Besides, there was always the perk of free food.

"If I say yes, will you stop being a pain and let me watch my Dr. Who in peace?" she asked.

"Absolutely!" he nodded desperately. 

"Then you got a deal. Now, sit down and shut up," they shook on it. Luke gasped in victory and plopped down next to her, both of them getting lost in the travels of the TARDIS, "We can still discuss that HBO account, though," 

Charlotte snickered at the memory. It was ironic how adamant he was about not going to this party, and it wasn't even an hour in before she had been dumped when Melody was presented to him on a pedestal. 

She also remembered how blasé Ben had been when she told him about this party. He wasn't all that interested in talentless celebrities and neon nightclubs, he instead wanted to talk about the recruiters that were coming by the college to look for fresh new talent, and how badly he wanted to get picked. Charlotte's life was so much cooler than Ben's, and yet he never seemed to want to talk about what was happening in her life. 

Charlotte pushed the memory out of her head. Instead, she grabbed the box of bougatsa she picked up from their favorite bakery -- one of Maria's favorite desserts -- and made her exit. 

Maria lived close enough that Charlotte could just walk there. Looking up at the skyscraper where she lived, she could clearly see her little apartment twinkling with multi-colored strobe lights. Ducking into the lobby, she could see the elevator doors just beginning to close.

"Hold the elevator!" she shouted, sprinting to catch the lift. Luckily, the occupant stuck his hand out to hold the doors long enough so Charlotte could slip inside. She was pleasantly surprised to find Calum was her kind stranger.

"Thanks," she huffed.

"No problem," he grinned, toting a gift box that was too neat for him to have wrapped himself, "You look nice,"

"So do you," a distinctive scent suddenly caught her nose, "Do you smell bergamot?"

"Yeah, it's my cologne," he nodded, "Tom Ford," 

"Oh, nice," Maria loved the smell of citrus and bergamot, "You got her a gift?"

"Yeah," Calum nodded, turning a slight tint of red as he glanced at the box, "I know she told us not to bring nothing for her but... I mean, it's a birthday party. You feel naked showing up without a gift," 

Charlotte smiled at him, "That's sweet of you! Whatcha' get her?"

"Just a spa box set thing. It's peach champagne scented," he said.

"Oh, fancy," 

"Yeah. They had a vanilla one but it just seemed too plain for Maria," he shrugged sheepishly. 

Charlotte glanced up at the ceiling, still smiling like a little fool, "She's definitely anything but plain, that one," 

"What did you get her?" Calum asked. 

Charlotte glanced at the dessert box, "Bougatsa. You know the Greek dessert with the pastry and the hot custard inside? I mean, it's not hot right now 'cause they'd melt but... you know... ovens," 

Calum's face immediately lit up, "Oh shit, you're the best!" he beamed, "I haven't had that stuff in so long!"

"Well, we'll get ya' reintroduced tonight," she grinned.

The elevator doors slid open and they walked side-by-side to Maria's apartment. She had sent a text to her guests saying that the door would be unlocked and they could just slip right in. Music was already pulsing through the room and the typically tidy apartment was decorated with an assortment of pale pastel balloons. On the counter was a decadent and extravagant cake decorated in frosting roses and bejewelled belts. 

"Hey! There you are!" Maria suddenly tackled Charlotte in a hug. She was dressed to the nines in a cute red mini dress paired with her favorite gold hoops. The only detractor was that she was barefoot, and quite frankly, Charlotte didn't blame her. 

Maria's eyes went wide when she saw the box in Charlotte's hands, "Is this what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking about bougatsa, you're bang on the money," Charlotte grinned. 

"Oh my God! I love you! You can just set them down on the counter there, babydoll,"

"Will do," 

Calum smiled when she hugged him next, "Happy birthday, Maria!" 

"Thanks for coming, Cal!" she gushed.

"Well, what else would I be doing on one of my best mate's birthdays?" he replied. 

The pleasant scent of fragrant citrus wafted through her nose then, "... Are you wearing a new cologne?" she asked him.

Calum blushed a little, "Yeah... thought I'd try bergamot this time,"

Maria smiled, "I like it. It suits you,"

Charlotte backed away slowly, wandering over to the refreshment table where Ashton was already sipping on his own red cup.

"Nice of you to join us," he grinned, "You look smashing,"

"You're not so bad yourself," she beamed, pouring herself a glass of vodka and cranberry. When she turned around she could see Maria and Calum were still deep in conversation, they had barely left the door's threshold. 

"You ready for Europe tomorrow?" Ashton asked, nudging Charlotte gently.

"Oh, am I ever!" she replied, "I think the last time we were in Amsterdam we stayed long enough for like -- a shitty pizza or something, and then we had to move on," 

"We'll take you 'round more this time," Ashton grinned back, "So long as Chloe doesn't try to pick up another phrase book," he nodded over to the couch where the now green-haired drummer was sitting with Michael, Kim, and some of their other friends.

"Kim put her foot down this time. No more Rosette Chloe," she chuckled.

Ashton shrugged, "Not like I won't miss her -- 'cause I won't," 

Charlotte took another look around the room, realizing that somebody was missing from their friend group, "Is Bryana hanging around somewhere?" she asked.

Ashton's smile faltered a little bit, "Oh, she couldn't make it tonight. Had a thing. But she sends her love," he replied. 

"Okay,"

"You uh -- you guys went out the other morning, right?" he asked her suddenly. 

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah,"

"What did you talk about? I-If you don't mind me asking," 

Charlotte was unsure as to what sort of answer he was looking for, but she told him the truth, "We erm... we discussed our shared distaste for a particular somebody," 

They both looked towards the kitchenette where Luke and Melody were hanging out. Melody was talking to another girl while Luke was chilling against the fridge, drinking from his own cup. The moment he saw Charlotte staring back at him his eyes twinkled a little bit. He was relieved to see her, wanted nothing more than to go over to her and free himself from the less than thrilling conversations of social media influencers.

Ashton was disgusted. Melody had Luke tethered on a metaphorical leash and it drove him mad. And when he looked at Charlotte she was staring at them too, but not with distaste. She seemed more disappointed than anything. It gave Ashton a little hope that maybe she was thinking the same thing he was. 

If Ashton had it his way, he would've pushed Luke and Charlotte together months ago...

"After tonight, he's free of her for three whole months,"

[sortanonymous]

Meta Knightmare Stuff: Sectonia and Taranza being Pikiria's adoptive parents (Pirka from the books but renamed and a completely different character)

There are a number of crazy things in my Meta Knightmare AU/fanfic series that I feel like spotlighting in the future, but this is one of them highest up. It will be a bit of a long one so I'll put in "keep reading", but first I'd like to mention that the early portion where she is taken in up to first being presented to the people is shown in more detail (albiet just as a glorified outline) in my one-shot, Our Little Miracle. But now on with it.

So just for a tiny bit of background on this series' version of the Spydeairs, by the spring of 1992 MSK (so basically right around Dream Land 1's events), Sectonia, originally named Joronia VI, had recently been crowned queen of Floralia after her all-around terrible mother died, renamed herself Sectonia in large part to distance herself from her crappy foremothers, and married her lifelong best friend Taranza, who was the newest in the bloodline of top royal puppeteer-bodyguards and also the only other Spydeair known to exist in the universe. The two of them were in a great and loving marriage from day one (even if absolutely everyone including Taranza himself knew he wasn't good enough at king stuff to do much as the king and that Sectonia was more than able to do it all herself). However, they were also crushed to find out that they were unable to have biological children, and it seemed like their dream of raising a child together was in ashes.

Then in the spring of 1992 MSK, on the night of Sectonia's 23rd birthday, the couple were in their royal garden when a precious newborn baby Fairie, who was born that very day, floated down from nowhere into the center of the garden bundled up in blankets. Neither of them knew where this baby Fairie had come from (the Fairie is a species loosely related to the Spydeair that I actually don't think includes any of the other fairies in Kirby), but both were immediately endeared to her and decided to take care of her until her parents could show up. They grew more and more attached to her over the next few weeks as her parents still wouldn't show up. Then one fateful evening, through some magic with bloodline detection and mind detection and some crap, they found out that her parents were dead, but she was now seeing them as her true family. After one last push by Lily (top member of the People of the Sky), they finally decided to embrace the baby and the emotions were immediately flowing. Taranza couldn't believe he was now gonna be a dad while Sectonia, with the memory how bad her own mother was as both a ruler and a parent still fresh in her mind, promised to the baby that she would give her what she never had and been the greatest mother she could possibly be, before naming the baby "Pikiria". After a brief period of hesitation, the couple then presented Pikiria to the people as the new Princess of Floralia, destined to be the region's seventh queen and first non-Spydeair ruler, although Sectonia, who was already reducing the monarchy's control partially out of guilt over her ancestors, was committed to making her daughter's royal training as gentle and caring as she could after how her own mother had put her well-being last in service of raising an heir. Then to celebrate the arrival of their great little miracle, they planted in the center for the first time ever by planting a tiny Miracle Fruit and growing an immortal, beautiful plant related to the Dreamstalk (don't press me on the details of these seeds, they're a mess). And now for after that one-shot and the stuff that happens between it and the events of Meta Knightmare II: The Insane Following Stuff. (Note: a lot of what follows is more or less copy-pasted from a comment of all things that I wrote back in August detailing some of this stuff.)

From there was when they realized that raising a newborn of a species they didn't fully understand while being the newly-married, recently-crowned rulers of a whole country was about as easy as it sounds. Ultimately it was an especially hectic time early on as they both tried to balance out time ruling the country and taking care of Pikiria. Mostly though Sectonia focused a bit more on ruling simply because she was a lot better at that than Taranza, who was quickly okay with always being Sectonia's loving husband who just so happened to be king as a result. Taranza focused on talking care of Piki (his nickname for her) and was able to do very well at that, but while she loved him and his cool tricks and stuff (he was from the top family of entertainers after all), he was at times just a tad too protective and limiting for her liking. Pikiria as a kid did know to take some things seriously, but was also rather childish and tended to act like she was above her age when she really wasn't. She didn't mind being taught princess and royalty things, though that was simply because it felt cool to her. But she was easily most fond of her mother, who still had a lot of quality time with her. Pikiria was just allowed to do more of what she wanted by Sectonia (though still of course just enough discipline) and she also adored watching her swordfighting skills with her rapiers in awe, not to mention she loved playing and handling things in the garden. Sectonia was definitely the cool parent of the two. As I mentioned earlier, Sectonia felt especially determined to give her daughter the best childhood she could give her because of how her own mother had shoved her through learning to be a royal, put her future as queen over her well-being, and was just in general a lousy mother and queen. All that made Sectonia truly want to give Pikiria the life she never had.

Pikiria was told at a pretty young age that she was adopted and that there was pretty much no way to ever know where she was from, but while she was often curious about where her origins were, she was more than okay with being adopted considering how good her circumstances were. Sectonia and Taranza themselves truly felt like their daughter was their own flesh and blood (who happened to be able to fly way faster than them even if she was scared of using it and crashing into things), and were hoping to be there to help her through as much of her life as they could. But one day when she was about 8-ish, Sectonia was researching the Fairie species when she discovered that, without exception, every Fairie under Pikiria's breed (aka maybe not the Ripple Star ones) would be forced to go to a nearly 10-year training on Skyhigh (at the moment) to find their future and calling in life on their 12th birthday, with only one 24-hour break allowed in the middle. Heartbroken by that discovery, it was hard enough for Sectonia to tell Taranza about this, and while they tried vaguely telling Pikiria that something like this would happen around her 12th birthday, they really skimped out on most of the details. That said however, they still had a few great years left to raise her through childhood and were ready to make every moment the best that they could make it.

But even so, nothing could prepare them for the day it happened, although that's a story for another day, specifically one that picks up right by the Amazing Mirror arc in Meta Knightmare II, which you can see the start of, or at least the first appearance of this royal family in the story, right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47283715/chapters/120792469

[berlinini]

Clem's Tour Commentary: Vancouver (y/n edition aka my show)

Sooooo!!! Last May I was lucky enough to get tickets for the Vancouver show, which wasn't sold out at the time, and Portland 2, which had just been announced. I love Vancouver so I thought I'd visit once again. Having heard of the city of Portland, and especially because of the venue (one of the smallest of the tour, with GA), I thought let's do both! I ended up buying tickets to LA and so for months I have been thinking about what I called Clem's West Coast Tour 2022. This has been a simple way to explain to friends and family the reason of my trip - and get concerned looks at the idea that I was seeing the same artist 3 times, to which I wanted to say... bestie I'll have seen the show 20 times before I even set foot in the first venue...!!! I know the show by heart at this point! Anyways.

All of this to say, you can imagine the anticipation of finally seeing Louis live myself, especially after witnessing his performances over livestreams for the last 5 weeks, and after months of waiting and incertitude!

As usual, I wrote a full length novel about my experience, so each show will have its own post. Recap under the cut! :)

VANCOUVER

Pre-Show

The show was on Sunday night and I started feeling jittery on Saturday. I went to check out the venue, unfortunately Louis' name wasn't on the marquee. Sunday around noon I went around the artist's entrance and fans were already lining up to see Louis arrive. I spent the rest of the day being a mess. The show was an all seated venue, which I loved because I found it less stressful, and thought it would be as good as Nashville. Oh! And by the power of the Louie God, I had the chance to exchange my balcony tickets for better seats in the orchestra, in ROW 28 so!!! It was a blessed event! Even more so because Louis showed up at the venue in PURPLE???? Very truly blessed!

Me and my excellent solo louie companion @bbrox arrived around 7:30pm, and lined up in the short line (there were two lines because there are two entries to the venue). Upon entering (at 8, so we knew the show would be delayed), we saw that the lines for the merch stands were a literal maze going up and down the stairs, it was insane!!! The venue was SO beautiful, a palace fit for a King. We got drinks, which was funny because I got carded (being confused for a 19 yo is always nice) and my mind was elsewhere so after that I took my drinks and started leaving and they were like... girl you have to pay! That gives you an idea of my state of mind! We renounced getting merch and decided to join our seats. Row 28 baby!!! It was the last row, right in front of some of the sound consoles. We did a little visit of the front of the stage, where people were taking pics. You could feel how everyone was so excited! Sun Room was nice, and the girls in front of us were apparent fans and it was very cute to see. During the break @captainlouisuniverse (which I sadly didn't get to meet :\) texted me to say that if you payed cash at the merch counter you could go quicker. So we jumped on the opportunity and cut the queue (sorry not sorry). I got the white tour t-shirt (with the eye!!!). Also, I asked the venue lady if they were handing out water and she was like...well you have to pay for it?! and honestly I'm suing LTHQ for discrimination against Canadians fans...

It's Showtime!!!

I was SO nervous when Smells Like Teen Spirit started playing and we KNEW the guys would get on stage, we KNEW the drums to WMI were coming up and we knew LOUIS was coming up!!! To paraphrase Louis, one year of built up energy!!! The atmosphere in the room was crazy, Louis showed up wearing all black (so sexy of him!!!) and honestly from that it's just a blur of emotions...

Compared to Portland show (more on that later), I have a hard time describing how Vancouver felt. I hardly remember stuff... (ok this 1 000 words post is saying otherwise) Maybe because it was too intense on a emotional level, maybe it's because I wasn't as close to the stage... It's gonna sound weird but I was so focused on myself during that show and on the communal experience in the room. It really felt like we were sharing a moment, after such a long time waiting. When I think about it there was Louis singing, me singing with Louis, and the awesome atmosphere. I was just living the moment and I honestly felt like I deserved to have this moment of pure joy considering how bleak life has been for the last two years.

And the way I experienced the show was so different from watching it online - I didn't care to find out what brand Louis was wearing, I didn't care to rate the crowd, I wasn't focusing on Louis reacting to fan signs, hell I hardly looked at the guys (except Michael). I wasn't trying to take pictures (RIP my iPhone XR's shitty lense) or get Louis' attention, I just wanted to have a good time and give him a good time. The crowd was good and all the fandom drama was far away - we were there and we were happy, and so was Louis and the band. The songs just kept on coming, with the rush of OMG THIS IS XYZ!!! and before you knew it, we were losing our minds to KMM and it was over.

I had so much energy singing and jumping around and yeah one thing about me is that I scream a lot at concerts (RIP the people standing besides me), so I did that. I screamed. A lot. I had no voice at the end of the show... I was so hot, thank God I was wearing layers but my fleece-lined platform Converse were very uncomfortable. Suddenly I understood the fans fainting in the pit - at least we had room to move around.

My (almost) enemies to lovers story with Matt Vines:

Ever since being in Vancouver at the same time as Louis and his band but especially ever since knowing me and Michael had walked the same street on the same day, my mind was going overdrive with some y/n fantasies, which became a running gag among some of you here (I love you all). It wouldn't be the first time in this fandom that fans think they're in a fanfic, however I'm not dumb enough to think Louis will invite me on his tour bus so I had placed all my hopes (delusions) on Michael, because... well you know why. So that was the joke. Alas, if someone noticed me (even that...) from that night it was... Matt Vines.

Matt was standing behind us, a little bit to my left, in between the sound consoles. He was there almost the whole time, on his phone for a good part. I know because I looked at him a few times, since @silverfoxlou had given me the order to give him a stinky eye if I ever saw him. So I sent him bad energy. So what happened for me to say he noticed me? Well bestie don't believe anything you read on tumblr dot com especially dodgy fan reports because nothing concrete happened LOL. But I was so close to him and as I said I screamed so much, jumped so much, that there's no way Matt didn't at least looked at me once and thought: who is that crazy chick with her wannabe Ariana Grande ponytail and her bouncing cross-body bag and who's wearing awesome Converses (ok there's no way he saw my shoes). Dreams do come true!!!! If anything I hope he saw me going hard on the non-1D songs and I set a good example of solo fans (as if that was written on my forehead lol - though my attitude during Habit probably gave a clue). Anyways, fuck you Matt I still hate you.

Some honorary mentions of the show (the bits that I recall):

The lights during Two Of Us: this was not a fan project, it just happened organically? Not to brag (but I will) but I was one of the first to put my torch out, it just seemed like it fit with the emotion of the song? I'm glad we had that <3

There was a fan project for the rainbow lights for OTB . We didn't have a lot of flags (some will say we were homophobic for that), but it was still a very emotional moment. I haven't seen what the rainbow lights looked like - that's what happens when you're at the back of the venue... Also, it's interesting to see how the perspective is different being live vs being "front row" via a stream.

We did the lights for Beautiful War as demanded asked by Louis. That song always makes me tear up and hearing it live, I feel so lucky. Just thinking about this makes me emotional.

Louis messed up Walls (video) which I didn't realize because unfortunately I always forget Walls #dontcancelme. I'm so glad we got to scream YOU WERE MY BECAUSE to him twice!!! It was so awesome!

This was me when Habit rolled on. I boycotted the song and kept my mouth shut, yes I'm petty. I hope Matt caught that.

When the drums to 7 started playing I was going INSANE. Unfortunately the crowd wasn't that much into it but me and my bestie went 110% on it, I was out of breath at the end, it was everything I ever dreamed off. I had a slight obsession with that song last summer, so seeing it live was a real #wemadeit moment.

I had this urge to scream "Michael you're so hot" because... why not... but didn't want to be disrespectful, so finding the right time felt tricky, but luckily I saw an opening during the band pic break. Around 0:35 in this video if you squint really hard you can almost hear it? God I wish I had been closer or had a louder voice. Anyways I hope he heard me <3 If anything Matt definitely did so I count that as a win in the things he's gonna tell Louis and Michael about me because he totally noticed me and talked about and this is my y/n moment

OK but talking about Michael being hot... He's insanely talented and the way he works that guitar during 7, LBD, is sooooo hot!!! He's just out there manspreading like a king while a whole venue is screaming for him, go little rock star!!! I'm also "manspreading" thinking about it but for different reasons

Fearless: I've been saying for months that hearing Fearless live would cure me and boy did it work!!! It's so good!!! I still have the reflex of singing "enjoy this Crystal Palace" (lol) I hope Louis would give us a "enjoy this (name of city)", because it's the perfect introduction - he know... he knows.

Defenseless and Always You are so good, fuck the person at Sony who didn't make at least one of them a single, because you can tell these are bops that the crowd loves. It was awesome to sing "it's been two years since I saw your face" and "just wanna be loved by YOU" to Louis, the way he reclaimed those songs, go off my love.

The energy for KMM was insane (video), it's such a good way to end the show, but it's also so bittersweet? The high is insane and then you're left to yourself, with the inevitable realization that it's over... :(

See @seasurfacefullofclouds1's wonderful highlight post about the show here.

Post Show:

In true Groupie Fashion™️, and because we couldn't handle the show being over over, we waited outside to see Louis getting on the bus. We spotted Oli going back and forth several times, Kyrstle and Jessie (to whom I sent bad vibes) going on the other bus, Isaac, Zak and Matt getting on the bus together.

Then LOUIS!!! The King of England! God I can't believe he was there, right across the street from me (video). He got in pretty quick and then sat at the window like the annoying little shit that he is, just being there and basking in the attention (Michael's that is). I truly wondered how it must be like for him...Like there is no reason for him to have that window open (except for when he smoked)?? He's just a superstar. The crowd was shouting "Louis we love you" and because I had to balance my karma from my 'Michael you're so hot' shout out, I yelled at least two times "you're so pretty" because Louis needs to know it and also I love to objectify men.

Michael arrived late, by himself, with his huge backpack, which is one of the things I considered worthy of my camera roll. I have 3 blurry pics to prove it.

JD and Wolsey were stellar in their crowd management, especially because it was a busy street with a lot of cars (and trams - we were joking that the tram would block Louis from our view when he got out, à la Walls mural van). At some point the fans shouted some praise for JD and Wolsey and Joshua was filming and it made a little bit of a commotion, thus prompting Louis to curiously put his head out... Drama queen!

Joshua was hanging out a bit outside the bus, taking pics from under the window. Charlie was really doing the rounds, he was so close to me, I almost started chatting him up about dinners in Portland. Instead I made sure my mask was all up so I wouldn't be recognizable if I ever make it in that damn documentary he's making (another 18 months before I find out, another y/n moment wow I'm so lucky).

Post-Show: the Crowd/ Fandom stuff (anecdotal notes that you can skip if you're tired of reading this essay):

The crowd waiting outside was interesting. They started singing No Control - it was inevitable... but luckily it was the first time of the night, since we didn't get it during the show break. The problem with my brain is that I just start singing songs without realizing what they are - I'm on automatic mode. I truly thought we were singing Miss You before I realized it was NC... RIP. They also sang Home, WMYB and later Perfect Now (cute). At some point the singing got drowned by shout of 'we love you', which was nice.

In waiting we chatted a bit with the girls close to us and this hilarious (to me) interaction happened, when Louis was still inside and someone rolled out a box:

Girl: OMG maybe he's pulling a Harry and he's hiding in that box LOL

Me, turning around: excuse me? Céline was doing that first

Other girl: yeah I was going to say Taylor did it before Harry

Me: Sorry. Céline Dion.

Don't disrespect the queen like this UGH.

Also some fans were acting like the fandom police telling other what to do/ not to cross the street and I rolled my eyes to far back into my skull. Can we not? It's not your job so please stay in your lane.

Anyways, it was fun to wait out for Louis and see him, and I could already picture the gifs I would see on tumblr the day after of his adorable face out the window. It was a bit strange to think about how the show would be "perceived" and brought me back to fans who've been saying that livestreams don't do justice. I know it was a good show but at the same time I truly didn't give a damn about how people on tumblr and twitter had reacted - I had a good time, we had a good time. Louis sounded amazing, the crowd was loud and supportive, it's all that matters!

I feel like this was all over the place... thanks for keeping up with my Thoughts™️

TLDR: I fucking love Louis Tomlinson.

PS: for another recap of the night you can read @bbrox's post here

[disaster-j]

so i just found out that in a preview for episode 8 that aired on tv and not on yt sean found some papers of white's while he was sleeping so i think that at first they wanted sean to find out then and there and i really wonder why they changed that? i think things would have been better if the reveal happened earlier tbh, maybe the plot could have moved faster then and we wouldn't have so many plot holes now

Yep I uploaded that clip here if you wanna watch it. From my understanding of it all, Sean had figured out there were two Blacks in that scene where he ties White up. But at the time he had no conclusive evidence that the "Black" he was falling in love with wasn't the real Black. Still, at the time it was merely an assumption he was working under and one that he couldn't exactly bring up because of how insane it might make him look. He knew the new "Black" trusted him and I believe he hoped that he would tell him the truth himself eventually. The post sex scene where he asks if "Black" had a sibling was a way for Sean to gauge how open "Black" would be to talking about it.

When the real Black shows up Sean knows there's two of them but he doesn't realise right there that they've switched because he's too busy hyping himself up to ask "Black" out. He had already been having an emotional day and the not really fight with Black has him messed up enough that even though he doesn't get what exactly happened he understands that it's the twins' way of telling him to fuck off. After all, he tells Namo the "Black" he loved LEFT him. Not he laughed at my feelings and then beat me up. He LEFT. When White saves him Sean is confused bc he'd thought the fight at the pier meant he'd never get to be with his "Black" again but now here he is. I think over the course of that night he starts realising his "Black" didn't even know about what happened. That's why when the real Black shows up he's so cautious and scrutinising him. If you rewatch that scene you'll notice Sean squinting at Black the second he walks into the room. He was trying to figure out which twin showed up. And then he does the trust fall bc he really can't tell them apart by their looks alone but he knows White will catch him. When Black let's him drop THAT'S him knowing that the twins have switched. Now all he needed was someone to verbally confirm what he already knew so he didn't sound so insane. That's why he instantly says, "You're finally back, Black" after the trust fall. He knew Black had been gone. When Black finally admits to having a twin that isn't Sean's realisation, it's relief over his admittedly insane theory being confirmed. He's just glad he really didn't fall in love with Black.

[lost-between-letters]

I Bet You Think About Me

Part two

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader (she/her)

Word Count: 1,806

Warnings: spoilers for season 7

Summary: A new person messes with Sam's head. For once, it's the fun kind though

part one

The next morning, Y/N was the last to come down for breakfast. Not that this was unusual, dad barely got her out of bed before twelve on a peaceful day. Today though, she was curious. Curious of the two men down there, that she had heard so much about already but never met in person.

Which really was to be blamed on the worst fucking timing in the world. Every time, Y/N showed up at her dad's the Winchesters had just taken off to the next job or she had had to leave herself. Okay, and maybe she was just the tiniest bit intimidated by them and the stories dad had told her. Or the things she had picked up on the road about the famous Winchester brothers that killed demons, worked with angels and put Lucifer back in his cage like it was nothing. They were legends amongst the hunters, even if not well liked.

Made out to be bordering on insanity most of the time, far closer to it than every other hunter traveling the roads. Stories of Sam and Dean being shot and walking the next day happy and alive had reached Y/N. Though that one had sounded made up. And always in between, she heard the warnings of how reckless they were, going over bodies to reach their goal, to finish their job. Only the fact that her father had told her so much more about them, about them as kids, their personalities, had made her able to face them. And maybe a little bit of Dean's easy comments and Sam's smile had eased her mind.

Well, now they were downstairs in the kitchen. Y/N could do this, she could face them and be as confident as she made herself to be.

"Morning sunshine," Dean greeted her, mouth full of bacon and a grin around it, "had a satisfying night?"

Oddly enough, the casual way in that he had addressed her put her at ease immediately. Y/N threw her hair over her shoulder and waved at the people at the kitchen table, ignoring the last part of the sentence. "Morning guys."

Dad grunted and Sam waved with his fork. While she was waiting for her toasts, leaned against the counter, she listened to Dean recount the events of their last hunt. Obviously, they had been talking about it before she had come down so Y/N was content to just listen and watch them.

To match the actual faces with the stories that had followed her. And to be honest, Y/N couldn't see why everyone had a problem with them. Right now, they seemed like two normal brothers, happy in their discussion and comfortable at a friend's kitchen table. Nothing like the monsters they were whispered to be. Y/N felt herself relax with every laugh and crude remark they threw at each other.

She would be lying if she said that Sam didn't draw her eyes back to him more than Dean. The way he used his face for expressing his emotions rather than his brother who talked with his whole body. Or how Sam shook the hair out of his eyes every time he added an important detail. And above all, his smile that was so painfully genuine, even after all he went through. The same smile he threw her way as she sat down opposite of him, next to her dad.

"-would've ripped my leg apart if Sammy hadn't been fast enough with the exorcism," Dean finished and nodded at his brother proudly.

The brother in question seemed uneasy at the compliment and adjusted his chair. Like he wasn't used to praise.

With a surge of protectiveness (that surprised herself just as much) Y/N wanted to cut the tension for him so she batted her eyelashes at Dean and mocked him playfully, "You're really a special kind of a hunter, letting a demon gnaw at you, huh?"

"Hey, that was one hell of a demon!" Dean protested and flicked a piece of bacon at her.

While her dad was rolling his eyes at them, Sam frowned and dropped his fork. Dean didn't notice the change in mood or at least ignored it and launched into a lengthy description of why That Demon Was Worse.

Teasing Dean was far easier than thinking about the little pinch she felt in her chest region at Sam talking exclusively to her dad, so Y/N focused all of her attention on that.

Dean let himself be drawn into the play fight with glee and proceeded to invite her for a little shooting practice in the backyard.

Breakfast got cleaned up by 'the lady' as Dean had pointed out nicely while Sam was collecting the plates with a slap over the head at his brother and No Eye Contact with Y/N. Great, now she felt like an asshole too.

Even as Y/N shot down the familiar figures on the fence and cracked jokes with Dean, she couldn't help but think what exactly she did wrong that Sam went from friendly nods hello and shared expressions in comment to Dean's outlandish stories to not looking at her at all. Which was kind of ridiculous as she hadn't spoked a word with him so far. At least not directly.

"You still there, sweetheart?" Dean waved a hand in front of her face, trying to catch her attention.

Ah shit. Y/N forced a smile back on her face and nodded. "Sure thing. I can still kick your ass though."

"I bet," he teased and reloaded his gun.

Just as Y/N prepared for another remark, another person exited the house and leaned against the wall. Sam.

And promptly her next shot went about a mile past the target. Y/N cursed, Dean laughed and Sam watched.

Why?

"Sammy get your own gun and stop lurking," Dean ordered and shoved the girl next to him to try again. She would never admit how thankful she was for his shoulder right now. Gave her something to focus on other than the man by the door. Y/N was pretty sure that Sam didn't appreciate to be stared at. Like anyone else most likely. Damn, her brain felt like chunky mud.

Sam just rolled his eyes again. "Don't be so bossy."

And went back inside. Colour Y/N confused as that was the weirdest thing she had seen all day. Apparently that was normal for Sam though as Dean just huffed something about him being too sensitive and raised his gun again.

Who was she to judge though? Everyone was entitled to a bad day here and there.

The next few days went by with just about the same routine. Dean had taken a liking to Y/N and consequently spent most of his time with her, exchanging stories and pressing her for more information of how they never heard of her before. Honestly, Y/N couldn't answer that as she had known about her dad's foster boys - as her mom had started calling them - for practically all her life.

Meanwhile Sam was holing himself up in dad's library, presumably looking into every piece of lore that he could find on the leviathans. Or at least that was what he told them in the evening, Dean looked doubtful. She couldn't tell why though so she chose to ignore it and be happy that they were talking.

Sam was not a jealous person. He was just... annoyed at having to witness his brother buttering up Bobby's daughter, which was perfectly normal in his opinion. Dean never had been one for subtlety which had caused a fight here and there already between the two of them. Waking up to suppressed moaning coming from the bed next to you was no fun. Also another reason why Sam slept with a knife under his pillow at all times.

And if Y/N laughing at Dean was making his gut twist then only because he knew that his brother was getting himself in a shitload of trouble. Bobby's daughter. Jesus.

Dinners in the household Singer came and went with surprisingly much conversation between the four of them. On the first evening, Y/N had recounted her first hunt with her father, laughing at all her dumb mistakes and Sam couldn't help but grin along. Her laughter had been just too contagious even if Dean had been watching him with that weird older brother stare for the entire time they had been sitting together.

It was getting dangerously close to becoming a routine, these shared evenings where everyone came together and talk. Naturally one of Bobby's phones started ringing just about half a second after Sam had contemplated their rhythm over his second serving of potato salad. He sighed internally. Yeah, normal wasn't for them.

"I bet on vampire attack," Y/N stated into the short silence that had created itself when Bobby had gone to pick the call.

Dean snorted. "Oh no sister, vampire's are laying low right now. I say good old demon."

"Nah," Sam shook his head at both of them. They hadn't taken into account which phone Bobby had picked up, "that's most likely Sheriff Mills with a ghost."

Before they could get into a fight about it though, Bobby came back into the room, grim face and phone still in his hand. "That was Rufus. He's got a few weird patients at the hospital. Everyone barely alive, seemingly dying of a cold."

Well, that was a new one. Dean raised his eyebrows amused. "Sure that that's for us?"

Sam threw him an exasperated glare of his own. Was he serious? Like they were above that somehow now?

"Okay okay, nevermind," Dean held his hands up in surrender, "it's our case. No need to give me that look you two."

Huh? Sam turned to Y/N next to him only to catch right the moment where her own glare was transforming into a chuckle. It was like someone had switched on a light behind her eyes, the grin lighting up her entire- why was he thinking about her smile again?

Before Sam could figure out what the fuck just happened, Bobby clapped him on the back. "Well, I guess that means research for the two of us, boy."

"I can help Sam," Y/N offered, catching him completely off guard.

No working with Dean? What?

His brother gave him that smug smile that absolutely didn't fit into the situation. Wasn't he supposed to be, like, not exactly sad, but at least scowling at him?

What was even weirder, was, that Bobby simply nodded and let them go. Usually, that man was a control freak and liked to double check everything Sam found.

Not that he was complaining. Miraculously, his mood jumped to an almost inappropriate high as Y/N knocked her shoulder against his with a scheming smile and pushed him to get up.

Part three

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