#ANYWAYS. IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR 4 HOURS
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#ASHSWAGSWEEP
AND WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR HIM TOO!!
IF YOU ENJOY:
SOMEONE WHO SCAMS
SOMEONE WHO ONLY FIGHTS GOD
DISTILLED ADHD
AND DEEP VOICES
CONSIDER VOTING ASHSWAG!!!!
FURTHER ASHSWAG PROPAGANDA HERE. CONSIDER CHECKING HIM OUT HERE! #ASHSWAG SWEEP
#mcyt#lifesteal smp#ashswag#mcyt sexyman#tw caps#media.warning.caps#media.warning.swearing#tw swearing#ASHSWAGSWEEP#tw eyestrain#media.warning.eyestrain.#ANYWAYS. IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR 4 HOURS#IM TIRED AS FUCK#IM GONNA LAY DOWN NOW. ASHSWAG NATION. PLEASE#mcytshipping#swagdoons#<- for the 1 slide#ANYWAYS GONN LAY DOWN NOW
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equinox cafe 🌕☕🍂
A whimsical autumn little coffee shop in mid-nowhere built over wiccan grounds... must be why their coffee tastes like magick!
✿Gallery ID: beetlemp3 ✿Cafe ✿ 30x20 ✿ No CC
#I KNOW its been 100 years ive been working the worst hours and get home at like 5am#these halloween shifts dont play ANYWAY I FORCED MYSELF TO CALL OFF and i had an extra day to actually open up sims T _ T#ts4#sims 4#ts4lot#ts4nocc#freerealestate#ts4 vanilla#the only thought decorating the inside was#“this would be a great disney channel 90s halloween movie teen hangout”
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redraw of a galo from last year!!! :3
side-by-side comparison :-)
#i thought this didnt take too long and apperantly it took like 7 hours. i thought it was like 3 or 4.#my sense of time is. a bit skewed n fucked up.#promare#galo thymos#my fav rooster ever#my art#i kinda rlly love how this one turned out :D i think ive improved a lot too DJAHGSHG i love doing redraws sm#like the pose is way closer to what i was imagining and mmm yeah its also just more dynamic n his body doesnt cut off awkwardly#i like the colors and face better#i do think the og has a lot of charm. i dont hate it or anything. i just like seeing how far ive come :)#this time around i also had a way easier time identifying what was bugging me while i was working on it and actually addressing those thing#like i resized his head a lot n tilted his whole upper body etc#idk ive just been getting more comfortable and confident with my art :)))#ok enough. ENOUGHHHHH. anyways i love galo so much ok thats all
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🌙
#sims#sims 4#ts4#the sims 4#*cas#ive been wanting to actually play the game for a while now i just never get around to it ksjdnkj#its so much work to add mods and builds and buy cc and townies and i KNOW ill prob stop playing after an hour anyway#n e way i love the fancy but simple look of this fit i imagine shes an office worker with a passion for rock climbing on the weekends
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Im so woozy and sleep deprived save me gem gem save me
#trying to be productive because Ive been able to do jackshit today after driving and running around the whole day on 4 hours of sleep#if this gem skin is real whoaggg shes so cool I hope thats real#gem I love you gem I love you#anyway yeah so trying to be productive but I cant draw anything but this abominationj#yes she's flipping you off#women can do that#“why are you not going to sleep” because I need to do work for tomorrow but I keep procrastinating because Im tired and then Im too tired r#regardless#shak's shitpost
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also i am so so exhausted its not normal anymore why the fuck do they not give us any time to just be fucking people
#im so serious i get home from school at 5 pm#8 hours a day for 3 days#the other 2 are half days#one is 5 hours & one is 4#anyway so i get home 5 pm#i eat & hang out with my brothers#its 5:45 pm#i go upstairs for like no time#it feels like no time anyway#dinner#im so tired i could go to sleep right away#but noooo i have a bunch of school work still#im going insane#ive been working like non stop for a whole fucking month#not even a full day of no work at all#a few hours sometimes#but thats all#mine
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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hour and a half unpaid overtime I think that's a new record for me. on a day where I was supposed to have no overtime no less. funny how I only have 3 of those this month and the 2 so far I've had to work overtime anyway 👍
#i shouldve left at 4:15. killing myself at work in front of everyone#well im actually not that mad ive been listening to yhe national on loop for the last 6 hours of my shift nothing can touch me#but the disrespect....#my boss came n found me at 4pm and was like hey can u do another round of this assay (<- takes an hour and a half)#and i said no!!!! bc she already gave me too much shit to do i was busy ALL DAY and still ran over like how tf do u expect me to fit MORE#she gave me 1.5 hours to do 14 samples in this one assay where each one takes 15 mins plus 5 mins prep per sample beforehand#so like 20 mins per sample THATS 4 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES and thats assuming no repeats and no troubleshooting!!!#3x the time u scheduled for me... come tf on. i need to make a table of how to calculate how long an assay takes so she stops doing this#rly not that hard just ask me how long i need for it and ill explain it to u#and then i finished up n emailed results n went to go switch lights off in the other lab and shed left samples out for me to book in. GIRL#PLEASE EMAIL ME OR TEAMS ME DONT JUST LEAVE THEM THERE.. u know im working in the main lab ALL DAY#so im not gonna fucking see them!!!! and they need to be refrigerated!!!! next time ill just leave them out overnight and when shes like#why are these samples ruined jts expensive to get more ill be like well u didnt tell me to book them in so.#anyway she moved the other assay to friday n she was annoyed i didnt fit it in earlier but WHERE. WHERE WAS I MEANT TO FIT IT IN!!#also i have 2 separate multi hour assays booked friday already so good luck im out of the door at 4:15 if its not done its not done idc#ughhhh. if the bus is late too im going back to my work and blowing the building up#WHAT. EVER!!!!!!!#.diaries
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I can't be depressed, I ate vegetables two days in a row
#my mental health is in shambles lol#I haven't left my house in 4 days#i slept in until 1pm today which I haven't done in a while#the earliest i fall asleep is 2am#im fucking exhausted#it's so fucking hard to get myself to do anything#my brain won't even let me watch the Olympics even though ive been looking forward to the skateboarding competition#this shit is annoying#and it's annoying because i was so confused why this bout of depression happened#but i just got my first normal period after stopping birth control and that shit always fucks me up mentally#and my grandma just fucking died#so yeah not that surprising lol#also my girlfriend is out of town and i was supposed to go with her and it didn't work out so im sure that's not helping my brain feel okay#its just so fucking annoying because i just want to be okay with everything and not break#at least it's not the 'my brain is telling me to kill myself at all hours of the day' type of depression#but this shit still sucks and i hate it#and i don't want to talk with my girlfriend about it because i don't want her worrying about me and i want her to enjoy her time away#and i dont want to talk to my mom about it because actually i dont really know why i dont want to talk to her about it#im gonna be going back to therapy soon so hopefully that shit helps but who knows#anyway brains sucks and grief is weird and hormones are dumb and i miss my girlfriend#but hey at least my brain is letting me eat vegetables again lol#personal
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the founder of edgenunity can suck my big fat 11" cock
#hamilducktrash#OMG DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE#that bitch is 65#i dont believe in calling a woman a bitch#but her bitchass can fucking suck my dick#i hate her ass#ive been doing edgenunity for 6 hours#since 4 pm#and i still have to do 2 more hours more#but the work is due at midnight#honestly#idgaf about some of the work. ill js get most of it done#anyways high school is going great. if you cant tell#also im joking#but im js so tired#edgenuity#suck my fucking dick#i hate high school
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ok bear with me as i work through this because we just did embryology 1 2 3 and 4 in the space of 2 days and probably like 3 hours and if we're saying that the embryo (ok. blastocyst??) implants in the endometrium but ALSO we're saying that periods are affected by stress (which then must mean that the hormones affecting growth of endometrium are affected so there's less endometrium) (if we're saying specifically that the effect is a lighter period) (and it can't be that stress affects anything else because the amount of cells dying can't change ???) then does that mean if mama is stressed pre-sex but manages to get a viable embryo in the uterine cavity does it just. not implant??? is stress killing these maybe babies?????
#chaos.txt#do i sound pr* life i promise im not but im on my period rn and it's so weird and strange like its day 4 and i've not had ONE heavy day.#forget heavy. like its nothing. there's barely anything. minimal cramps is pretty normal for me but this has been NOTHING#its crazy!! so anyway i got thinking about embryos and whatever. also i love the phrase maybe babies#i probably sound a bit mental and im sorry ive just been awake for like 16 hours and done like 8 hours of active working . that's so fucked#medical student#i will end up just looking this up but if any darling med students/doctors/nurses see this PLEASE tell me if im just going crazy#<- i say as if that isn't hugely implausible#embryology#medical school
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One of the most growing up experiences and discovering you’re neurodivergent ever is just
“There’s a word for that!” tm
The second most experience is
“Oh I’m not terrible, I’ve just got this disorder that I either cannot help or currently don’t have the right support to mitigate”
#cuz our society really tells us if we deviate from the norm or dare to have problems different to the average#then we’re the problem#anyways just learnt that my uber awful disruptive lazy embarrassing sleep habits that my parents shamed me for and that barred me from#accessing most of society due to the fact that work and school depend on you getting consistent sleep and shops shut early so you can’t just#get any food bc u woke up at 4 and it takes you like an hour on a good day to prepare to go out and shops with necessary shit shut at 5 and#so you just have no toothpaste ever#ANYWAYS THIS IS ALL ADHD AND SPECIFICALLY DELAYED SLEEP PHASE SYNDROME#NOT ONLY DO I HAVE A THING THAT BARS ME FROM ESSENTIAL LIFE SHIT#BUT IVE BEEN MADE TO FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR EVEN HAVING THE PROBLEM#AND ALL THE ADVICE PEOPLE GIVE ME IS APPARENTLY NOT APPLICABLE TO MY SPECIAL LITTLE BRAIN THAT DONT WORK LIKE ITS EXPECTED TOO#how great for mee :’)#adhd#sorry rant over
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#OUghh... I've been really sick the past few days like not able to keep food down and had to go to the hospital#to get iv fluids and etc. to stay hydrated lol...#perhaps some sort of stomach virus or something. but still very grrrr for it to happen in the middle of the evil summer of#course#when everything is hot and uncomfortable anyway.. I really wanted to get a sims video and costume pictures finished this week and keep#up writing like 1000 ish words a day for my game. but.. alas... the universe was like... I Think Not#I at least have been able to have some tea and juice and applesauce and like 4 saltine crackers today so#I always think it's funny when you're ill what sort of little things count as successes#like on any normal day eating a few crackers would just be something you don't even give a second thought#to . But when you're really sick it's like .. WOW.. I ate TWO crackers.. amazing.. huzzah... I should get an award certainly#call the press and alert them. I should be in the newspaper headlines for this harrowing feat. etc. lol#I still feel very shaky and weak though.. but am like... hhhhh... when can I work on my projects again...#Also I literaly never leave the house or have contact with anyone so maybe it's not a virus and was more food poisioning or something#since I'm not sure where I'd get a virus even but... regardless... stinky#just complaining since I suppose that is what personal blogs are for lol. I'm a private person in the sense of wanting to proect my identi#ty and like.. I dont want an alexa in my house listening to me all the time and I dont tag my real location on social media or share photos#that could reveal the front of my house or etc. etc. But in all other senses I really don't beleive in holding stuff in. Because it will#just fester. especially when it has to do with other people (like relationship issues or something) but even when its just stuff that only#has to do with you. If something annoys me then I shall let it be openly known. if I'm bothered it will be clear. etc.#Which I guess makes me seem like a Hater And Complainer but I guess I just feel like its better over all to explain and express openly#than to just silently stew and hold everything in and then probably feel worse for it later or something.#Expressing annoyance is kind of like casting the concept off from yourself and releasing it into the wild so that you're not harboring it#anymore. all grievances must be aired eventually. etc. this is a Pro complaining zone lol#If you feel like shit dont hide it. just go 'man I feel like shit'. etc. etc. Cast it off into the universe. be free#ANYWAY... aughhh......... the wizard has fallen ill in his stinky little tower.. pacing the stone floors in tattered robes. hair disheveled#. carefully sipping a single cup of tea over the course of an hour lest drinking too fast upset his fragile stomachs againe..
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Honestly why am I fucking Like This
#speculation nation#im still overcompensating i know#i got the everliving shit scared outta me and had one of the most humiliating days of my life#and ive been working so hard on being Useful that i have been. putting in a Lot of extra hours...#i didnt Have to do all of this today. i stayed late to do it. 1.5 hours of active lifting the Entire Time#plus some work with counting and general managerial stuff#so that i stayed 2 hours and 20 mins over my 5 hour shift#and im just like. in the moment i was just so bothered by how disorganized everything was#i couldnt find where the Fucking lids were. ended up they were buried under a bunch of other stuff.#so i dug them out. reorganized. did a Ton of lifting.#like... uhmmm. 9 large boxes 7 regular boxes 4 straws 10 sippy lids and 31 dome lids#boxes. all boxes.#oh yeah and 8 paper bag boxes. plus general rearranging.#none of the lids were in one place and all the cups boxes were on top of the other boxes#so i had to pull them out to dig things out then put them back in#the good news is the lids boxes were pretty light. cup boxes not so much.#but thats still. kind of an insane number when i think about it.#i didnt NEED to do this. but i did anyways. because im a neurotic prey animal working desperately to keep the anger away from me#wahoooooo#it's... fine. it feels good to be productive. im just feeling... a bit fed up with myself.#my hip has already been bothering me today bc there always has to be Something wrong with my body#and then i went and did This. who knows what fucking unpleasant side effects this is gonna have on me.#sore muscles probably. maybe bruises. and MAYBE ill fuck my back or ankles up again. or make my hip worse. or#whatever.#it's fine. i'll be fine. im gonna go home and eat dinner and... chill. im gonna chill.#just. ugh.#but im clocked out at least. and i have tomorrow off. i'll make sure it's a good one.
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ooohhh yeeeee the isolation i s HITTING today it's hitting so so fucking good
#god i love living in the shining irl#idk why but for 4 years ive been like 'social media will help with this'#like i get online and ykno.. it's fun it's really nice ! i love the lil communities im a part of#i love expressing myself creatively and seeing other people's work and obsessing over lil shows and stories#i know its not that serious#i know i need to get the fuck out of this house and off the internet but it's so fucking hard#bcos no one masks anymore first of all#and 2nd i just .. idk !! i really like the vibes here ! i wish i could just chill and feel.. a 'part'#but ultimately i might need to go back to 1 hour of social media TOPS per day#cos im in painnnnn im in physical pain c: torment type shit#i think quitting my job might help a little??#but anyway fuck covid#fuck this violent white supremacist ass country#pivoting hard from the tone of this post but if anyone wants to kiki on discord or follow each other on insta just hml xD#i swear im .. more fun.. than this post probably portrays lol#lmaooo .. ugh.. oof... ok yea gonna go clean my house now
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