#ANYWAYS i hope recovery is going well on your end and ALWAYS!!! take all the time you need to get going <3 care you lots <3 <3 <3

[stillresolved]

@mythvoiced got a one liner!

“It’s okay. I…I don’t think they’re wrong about me anyways.”

[alotofpockets]

Push me all you want | Leah Williamson x Arsenal!Reader

5k celebration prompt: “You can push me away all you want, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.5k

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It all happened so fast. One moment you were playing Manchester United, and the next moment the game was no longer on your mind. All that was on your mind was your girlfriend as she went down. The way she hit her hand on the ground told you enough. Leah was in pain, so you rushed over to be by her side.

Katie Zelem was the first one by her side and was already trying to comfort Leah. When you got to her side you could see the tears in her eyes. Your heart broke for her instantly. Leah was a tough one, so her crying couldn’t mean anything good.

“I’m fine.” She said when you crouched down next to her. You knew she was lying, but you weren’t going to argue with her right now. She was still down and looked in pain. All you could do was stay by her side and offer her comfort. 

The medics rushed around her to assess her. You stepped to the side, now standing with Lia, as well as Katie and Ella from the opposition. Each of you watched every moment that the medics made, keeping your eyes on Leah and what was going on. 

Your heart sank when they gave the bench the signal to substitute Leah out. The game had barely begun, and you hated the thought of your girlfriend missing the rest of it. 

When the medics started packing up their equipment, you stepped towards Leah again. Wanting to offer your help in helping her up. She let you along with one of the medics pull her up to her feet, but when you wanted to walk her to the sideline, she pushed you off. “I don’t need your help. Just finish the match.” Her tone was harsher than you had ever heard her talk to you.

You know she didn’t mean to be rude to you and was just hurting, so you let it be and stepped back towards Lia. “You alright?” She asks you as she witnessed her best friend push you away. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just Leah being stubborn, as always.”

The match continued when Leah was off the pitch. You hated not being able to check on her, but you knew that she was in good hands, and that she would want you to finish the match. Sadly after United scored, you weren’t able to score, so they got away with the win.

When the final whistle blew, you walked straight into the tunnel to go look for Leah. She might not want you there, but you still wanted to be there for her, as well as know if she was alright.

You found her in one of the physio rooms, quickly wiping away her tears. “They think it’s my ACL.” Your heart sank again, that was not an injury that would be easy. Besides surgery it was a long recovery. Both of you knew from Beth and Viv how grueling it could be, and even they hadn’t reached the end of it yet.

“You’re the strongest person I know. You’ll get through this and come back stronger, I know it.” You carefully sat next to her on the bed. This time Leah didn’t push you away, instead she leaned into your side and let her tears flow freely.

The next couple of days were tough. Leah had her scans at the hospital, and they had confirmed the suspected torn ACL. She had really hoped that it would have been something else, because this injury meant that she was for sure missing the World Cup.

The news hit Leah hard, and she started closing herself off. You tried your hardest to be there for her, but she wasn’t having it. 

You had just arrived at her place with a couple bags of groceries. She opened the door and looked between you and the bags. “Brought you some groceries.” You said with a smile.

She didn’t return your smile, but she did step to the side to let you in. “You shouldn’t have done that. I can take care of myself.” You shrugged as you walked to her kitchen and put the bags down on the counter. 

“I know, but I wanted to. The store is on the way over anyways.” Leah followed you into the kitchen, moving at a slower pace with her crutches. 

You started putting groceries away, moving around the kitchen effortlessly. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to treat me like I can’t handle things.” 

Leah grabbed something out of the grocery bag, showing that she could handle putting away groceries on her own. She moved a lot slower, but she got the product in the cabin. “I was just trying to help out, do something nice. Doesn’t mean I think you can’t handle it on your own.”

“Well, I can do it on my own.” She said as she grabbed the carton of eggs next. Only that didn’t go as smoothly. The carton slipped from her hands and fell to the ground. The eggs break and coat the surrounding floor in yolk.

Leah looked down at the floor, and you could see on her face that she was losing her patience. “Leah, just let me put everything away, please.”

Her face snapped back up to yours. “No. I told you. I do not need your help.” Taken back by her angry voice, you take a step back. “Okay, fine. Just let me clean that up for you.”

“Get out.” Leah yelled. She couldn’t bend her leg, so you knew she wouldn’t be able to clean up the mess that the eggs made. “Leah, come on.” You tried, but it only made her angrier. “Now! Get out now.”

Every ounce of your body told you that it wasn’t a good idea to leave, that Leah needed someone around. But she voiced that she didn’t want you there, so you grabbed your keys off the counter. “Okay, fine.” You said in defeat and left her apartment. 

Later that evening you heard your phone ring. Lia was video calling you.

“Hey, I just left Leah’s.” She said as you picked up. “How is she?” 

“A mess, but I think you knew that already.” She chuckled. “I found her in the kitchen crying over broken eggs and when I asked her what happened, she said she yelled at you.” 

You nod, “Yeah, she kicked me out.”

“I’m sorry, that’s rough. If it makes you feel any better, she spent about an hour crying to me over hurting you.” She says with a sympathetic look on her face.

“It’s alright. I know she’s hurting and she didn’t mean to be.” It might have hurt a bit in the moment, but you knew in the back of your mind that Leah loved you and that it was just the frustrations that came with the injury.

Lia was glad to hear that you were alright. “So, are you still driving her to the hospital tomorrow? Because I can do it if you don’t want to.”

You’re quick to shake your head. “No, I still want to. Thank you though.” 

You stayed on the phone together until Lia made it home, and then you went to bed. 

Lia had told you that she told Leah that she could pick her up for the appointment if she needed. So when Leah’s doorbell rang the next morning, she expected her best friend to be there. But instead it was you standing in front of her door.

Her eyes widened when she realised it was you. “I didn’t think you would come after I was so horrible to you.”

You step inside and place your hand on her shoulder. “Leah, you can push me away all you want, but I’m not going anywhere.” She nodded after seeing the sincerity in your eyes. 

“Come on, let’s get you to your appointment.” You grabbed her bag off the floor and carried it to your car. This time without Leah telling you that she didn’t need your help.

Once you were in the car, Leah spoke up. “I’m really sorry for how I acted yesterday. I was mean to you, while you were only trying to help. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see that yesterday.”

You reach over your hand to her lap and place your hand on her thigh. “Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I understand that you’re in pain, and that everything has been a lot.”

"Yeah, but still.” You shook your head. “Le, we’re okay. I promise.” She put her hand over yours. “Okay, thank you.”

Leah still had a long recovery ahead, but you had hope that she would let you in from now on. She wasn’t alone, you would be there every step of the way.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[adventuringblind]

Make Me Yours

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: chaotic smut (I'm a slut for this man)

Summary: Daniel mentions something to Oscar and he takes a shot in the dark.

Warnings: KNIFE PLAY, blood, intensive aftercare, Max and Daniel being big brothers, Oscar is a dork and we love him for it, enemies to lovers if you squint, soft dom Oscar, Reader is a mess for Oscar and he loves it.

Notes: This was an anonymous request! I hope you like it!! Please remember to communicate and take care of yourselves if you engage in a kink like this!! Reader is a Redbull rookie which I know is ridiculous but it's fiction.

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

She wouldn't say her sex life is vanilla. Definitely the opposite, actually. Most people would look at Oscar and assume he is the most boring human on the planet.

They are all wrong.

Most the drivers, including herself, teased him about how he knows two positions maximum. He'd gotten fed up with it and showed her exactly why everyone is wrong.

Turns out pent up tension from being rivals from F3 and F2 leads to these situations. The situation being mind-blowing sex with the one guy who you didn't want to admit feelings for.

Formula 1 is an unforgiving world. She didn't need feelings getting in the way. Until Oscar came along and ruined it all.

Until that night, at least. Now they are stuck together like glue. It drives Max and Daniel insane with how much he's around the Redbul garage.

She tried to use the 'best friends' excuse until Daniel caught them in her driver's room.

"It's always the rookies."

That being said, her problem isn't the sex, or Oscar, or her relationship at all. The problem is how to bring up something she would like to try.

Both of them like trying new things and have been very clear on boundaries and keep open communication about the subject. He's never judged her for anything she's brought up. So why can't she just ask him?

"Something on your mind?" Daniel appears from thin air, and she slams her phone down out of view. She prays he didn't see the pictures of the silver blades and thinks she a psycho.

"Nope," she squeaks. A terrible recovery on her end.

"Watching porn? Looking at Mr. Piartri's nudes? Come one, you can tell me!"

Max pokes his head out from around the corner. "Are we talking about sex?" Here she thought the secluded space would be far away enough for them to come bother her. Then again, Daniel could help her out. He's good at talking to people.

"Pretty sure you and Charles talked about it last night." She quips without looking at him.

She's blushing and embarrassed. Her brain is yelling at her to run as far away as possible before she does something stupid-

"Hey Daniel, you know about sex stuff right?" Wow, that doesn't sound awkward at all.

"Yes?" He quirks his eyebrow at her. "But if you're looking for a threesome I'm going to have to decline. For now, at least," he winks.

She chokes at the notion. She's going to explode at this rate. Time to bail out. "Never mind, it's not that, but it's dumb."

Max appears fully in her line of sight. "You can't leave us hanging now! Oscar not performing well anymore?" His expression suddenly goes dark. "Or if he hurt you, I won't hesitate to send him into the barriers."

"No! no, it's not him it's me. I don't know how to ask him about something."

Both the males soften. It eases the anxiety a tiny bit, but she'd still rather not be here.

"Hmm, can I ask what it is?"

"A kink," she whispers away from him.

Daniel hears it anyway. "Yours or his?"

"Mine."

Daniel, now seeing he's not going to get anywhere like this, tries a new approach. "Look, this is a no judgment zone, right? Max talks about Charles and their sex life any chance he gets. I am an open book. No laughing or cringing, okay?"

It still feels weird having this conversation. But Daniel isn't going to let it sit now. Curse her impulsive mouth. "Knives. I want him to use a knife on me."

~~~~~

Oscar is sitting in wait around the Redbull motorhome. His girlfriend had said she'd meet him out here and he hasn't seen her all day, so he came early.

Media days are usually difficult for her. The journalists manage to find some new sexist thing to point out every race weekend. It drives all the drivers insane. They can't just let it go and move on to something new.

"Hiya mate!" Daniel appears around the corner and Oscar manages (just barely) to not jump out of his skin. "You waiting for your girl?"

"Yeah, I'm early though. Do I need to go?"

"Nah, you're fine." Daniel throws him a grin. "I'm curious how you keep the marks on her hidden. Been wondering for a while now."

Oscar blinks. His brain is trying to process the last Statement. "You mean... like a hickey?"

"No! The scars." Daniel looks like he's just said the most obvious thing. Oscar is still trying to remain neutral in what is definitely an odd conversation.

Scars? What scars is he talking about? "I-"

"Don't tell me you don't see it! That girl totally has some kind of knife kink."

Knife kink?! Where is this coming from? He tries to think back to any hint of it on her end. It's not like he's opposed to trying new things and he wouldn't be shocked if she felt weird about bringing it up.

"I'd ask her about it mate." Daniel winks and disappears into the crowd of people.

Oscar tries not to think too hard on it. It's just a weird comment made by Daniel in passing.

At least, that's what it started as.

Oscar then finds himself doing research on it. A deep rabbit hole that now occupies far too much space in his brain.

The idea of her permanently some kind of mark he puts there drives him wild. Which is odd, because it hasn't before. A visible hickey every now and then does the trick. Satisfies him when they go out places.

After the first 'I don't see your boyfriend,' he started putting one on her collar bone. Not visible unless she deems it so amd fresh enough to ward off any suspicious characters.

Curse Daniel for giving him this stupid idea. Something more permanent than a hickey sounds appealing.

If it were up to him, he'd keep her in his pocket. It's funny, really, how she thought he didn't know about her feelings. Oscar had played the game for two years. Then he couldn't take it anymore and he snapped.

Yes, she's snarky and moody, and as picky as Lando, until you get past the hard exterior and see she's all soft and squishy. Most of the time, anyway.

He asks her about it after Silverstone. He's coming down off his high and drunk on the adrenaline paired with a shot of success. The confidence boost is really what he needs to put the idea out there. As outrageous as it seems, Daniel might have a point.

"I was thinking about something." He starts off with. She flops onto her bed. Not his since Lando manages to get into his room at the worst times.

"Something good I hope?"

"Depends." Oscar adjusts their position so he can cradle her. The way she snuggles into him like an affectionate cat makes him melt. "It's kinky."

"The best kind of thoughts to have!" She taps his nose with her index finger to accentuate each word.

Oscar steels himself for the possible outcomes. "What if we tried knives."

There is an unmatched look of pure shock on her face. Oscar is prepared to reassure that she doesn't have to, until he notices the glint.

"Yes! I mean - yeah, we should give it a try."

Huh, so Daniel was right. Oscar will have to thank him later for the tip. "We need to talk about it first. I'm thinking either talk now and do it or we save it for a later date."

"How about we talk now, then see?"

"Sounds lovely."

~~~~~

The more Oscar talks, the more she wants it. It's ridiculous what he does to her with merely his voice. Or maybe it's the constant regard for her wants, needs, and safety.

Yeah, it's true what they say: consent really is sexy.

"Love? Did you hear what I was saying?" His voice has they soft mellowness about it that calms the raging see of her emotions.

"No..."

"Stay with me, yeah? I'll put this off if you aren't coherent enough to truly consent to anything." Yep, sexy. No doubt about it.

"I'm here, promise! Just got distracting... thinking."

"About?"

She waits a beat to see if he's willing g to drop it. He makes no indication he'll be moving on, however, making her forced to answer. "Your voice..."

She is going to combust at this rate. It's embarrassing how wrecked she is already. Oscar hasn't even touched her, but the sight of him with the glinting silver blade in his hands has her going feral. The crazy eyed, drooling kind that makes her seem like she should be locked up.

The fact Oscar spent over two hours in discussion and has research to back up every point her makes drivers her wild. She would happily spend the rest of her life with him even after a measly two years together.

He's ruined her. Oscar has made it so she will never be able to leave. So what if she's dramatic? Can you really blame her when she has Oscar Piastri standing in front of her looking ready to devour her?

Oscar takes his time. It's slow and gentle kisses, nimble fingers finding their way around the canvas he knows so well. "Fucking hell you're gorgeous."

She takes a mental note of the way she's in no clothes and he's got all his own. It's unfair and she tugs at his sleeve to signal she wants it off. Oscar complies and pulls the fabric off.

He goes back to licking his way around the inside of her mouth. Her hands relax around his body, taking comfort in the warmth and closeness of the skin-on-skin contact.

His fingers slip through her folds and like muscle memory locate her clit. It's pathetic the sounds he's getting her to make. Specifically, while holding the pocketknife, unopened, in his free hand.

"So pretty for me love. I would cut you up and put you in my pocket if I could. Carry your cute ass around with me like a good luck charm."

She's so far down the rabbit hole of her favorite headspace. Oscar's words are just swimming around her, until the sound of the black clicking open pulls her back into reality.

He presses the flat part of the blade against her arm. The cold of the metal sends a shiver running down her spine.

Oscar is looking deep in the eyes, mapping out every emotion and physical reaction she's having to the sensation. "Color?"

"Green, very green, the brightest of greens-" Oscar shuts her up with a kiss to her temple. It's gentle and meaningful. Enough to turn her right into a blushing mess.

Oscar checks in frequently every time the blade moves. The masochist is jumping for joy when the tip barely rests against her shoulder blade. "Are you ready? Want me to mark you? Shall I make you bleed for me?"

"Please," She whines.

"Keep your eyes on me yeah? You say red and I stop."

She signals that she understands and would like to continue. Oscar traces the line he wants to make.

She hisses when the knife presses downwards. Oscar panics, but he watches her eyes roll back and knows to continue. "Eyes on me, love. I want to see how pretty you look."

The cold stinging sensation makes her whimper in pain and moan in ecstasy all at the same time. He's still talking to her. Voice still calm and gentle. He's watching her intently, tracking every shift until he's done.

He keeps a hand on her to let her know he's still present as he tucks the, now closed knife, safely onto the bedside table. Despite looking so composed to everyone else, she notices the small thing about Oscar's shift in demeanor. Like how his pupils are staring at her, just the slightest bit tinged with the desire tor take her in the next ten seconds.

He resists and makes sure she is ready for that first. "Color?"

She slurs through an ungodly number of praises and words resembling 'green'. Oscar basks in it. He sits and caresses her skin as he watches the cut to make sure he really did go light enough.

Small beads of red appear at the surface, but not enough that he's concerned with first aid at the Moment. He breathes a sigh of relief.

"Osc? Are you still green?"

Oscar softens again. "Yeah, I'm green, just taking in the sight and - happy I didn't stab you." He's breathless and panting. His jeans straining and her hands aching to get her hands on him.

There is so much love and kindness leading up to him finally getting inside of her. The towel underneath her shoulder catches the run-off red. It falls away with every thrust of his hips and rock of her body.

They hit the edge to quickly. Falling over it in white hot pleasure and moans of joy.

"You're such a good girl for me. You did such a good job." Oscar whispers in her ear as he wipes the cut with disinfectant.

Oscar carries her blissed out body to the bathroom and lets her look at the wound before bandaging it. A perfect heart now rests on the peak of her shoulder. Not massive, but enough to be seen without looking to close.

"I love it."

"Yeah? You ready to bandage it?"

"Do we have to?"

She doesn't get her way. Oscar bandages the heart and gets them cleaned up. Then it's water and snacks in bed.

"I never thought you'd be into it."

"I wasn't until Daniel brought it up."

Her entire being stills. Maybe even goes pale and Oscar looks at her in confused worry.

"I might have asked him for advice on how to ask you... about this."

Once again, his face softens. "You know you never have to be afraid of asking me." A gentle smile appears on his face. "I do think we'll have to thank him for this later."

"You're just going to inflate his ego."

"Maybe it's worth it if he keeps giving me advice." Oscar winks at her and smirks.

Yeah, maybe Daniel's pestering isn't to bad.

~~~~~

Oscar stands waiting for the drivers parade the next race weekend with all the other drivers. He's waiting patiently for his favorite rookie to come and join him.

Instead, he is once again jumping out of his skin because Danile is grabbing his shoulders from out of nowhere. "Could you not, like, scare me? Please?"

"But this is more fun! Certainly not as much fun as you had, I'm sure. I saw the scar." Daniel wiggles his eyebrows.

Oscar is blushing, he can feel it in his face. The words he wants to say are not coming out like he intends. "yep, I - um... thanks."

"Let me know if you need any other advice." Daniel smirks and claps him on the shoulder, Leaving Oscar a mess.

This is why I get teased; he thinks.

[raffa-taff]

do you have any alphonse fic recs?? I'm literally starving for any fanfictions that recognize the complex character he is and dont sideline him. please.

Hell yeah brother I got recs

Sorry for the wait!

These are just some fics I enjoyed reading (or from what I remember anyways), most of these are angst or some kind of hurt/comfort and please mind the tags🙏 I don’t think any of these recs have super heavy material (again from what I can remember but still). I’ve highlighted my faves in orange (hope that doesn’t cause readability issues) this will also probably be a long post sorry!

Most of thornbacks fics are pretty good in terms of how Alphonse is written, I don’t think they’ve done any fics centred on only Alphonse but every time I read a thornback fic I like how Alphonse is written in them, and in most of their fics Alphonse and his feelings are never really forgotten which I appreciate.

“Simple things” by PrinRue over on fanfic.net (I love this one so much, it’s still going atm too!. It’s not solely Alphonse focused but it does have like Alphonse focused chapters if that makes sense and I love them so so much and there’s a lot of great writing for Ed, winry and even pinako which is always great, it’s my fave fma fic atm)

“Close your eyes I’ll be here in the morning” by alphonselrics ( I read this one a while ago so I can’t remember much of this fic aside of bits and pieces here and there but I remember getting so excited every time I saw it had updated and that I enjoyed reading it a lot. Fic focused on als recovery. )

“You don’t have to go through this alone” by September bugs ( another post promised day Alphonse fic, with some parental riza and Roy thrown in. Mostly about Al struggling with his body and being overwhelmed by his regained senses, sweet ending :] )

All of the fics in “Alphonse elrics guide on how to spend your sleepless nights” by c_c_cherry (I always find myself going back to read this series every once in a while, the second one with riza is my fave)

“Musicology” by DeadlyGlacier ( just a really sweet Alphonse and winry fic )

“Of hospitals and health” by ReminiscentRevelry (post promised day fic with Al and Roy talking in the hospital )

“50 ways to explain a suit of armour” by kastaborous ( I remember finding this one pretty funny and an enjoyable read, there’s also an Edward variant by the same person I’m p sure)

“You can do that?” By waddlesthejoghog (gay Alphonse Elric, need I say more?)

“I fell in your arms tonite” by LAON (Elric brothers Ough💔)

“The fullmetal alchemists” by RoboticRainboots (not exactly only Alphonse focused but Ough Elric brothers again)

“Sherman, the rock” by Bookwrm389 (Alphonse being silly, I love him, and Elric brother banter. Mostly a humorous fic)

“Little wonders” by ADreamingSongbird (nice Alphonse and winry fic)

“You’re the only song I want to hear” by ADreamingSongbird (amazing fic, really, really good. Delves into how Alphonse feels just after being transmuted and does it really well in my opinion. I remember reading this one for the first time and going back to re-read sections because they were so good to me. Makes you feel really sad for Alphonse and the horrible things he must’ve been going through post transmutation and actually made my chest hurt those first couple times reading it, honestly can’t recommend it enough, if you read any fics from this list please let it be this one. Very sad but with a little nice moment with Alphonse and winry at the end)

“What” by bees cheese (silly fic from an outside perspective of someone listening to Ed and als convo)

“Life where we all are” by elkatt (hughes and Alphonse 💔)

“Dignity” by FollowerOfMercy (lovely fic, really, really like it, has some angst and takes place in the early days post-transmutation. Alphonse trying to regain a sense of humanity💔 and moments between him and pinako, my fave)

“Camping and cussing” by wakingnightmares ( silly sibling banter that makes me smile)

“Chasm” by AnEquivalentExchange (takes place after the scar fight)

“Touch” by TwitchySmurph (little fic taking place a bit after the transmutation)

“The old tomorrow doesn’t exist anymore” by Alphonsevebop (long fic with an interesting plot, focuses on Ed and winry too but I remember liking how Alphonse was written and being excited for updates)

“His little brother” by plateofpie (very sweet and I remember liking the premise of this one, feels realistic too, which I liked)

“An armoured cage” by plateofpie (really liked this one but I felt so bad for Alphonse gah💔 love reading fics about how people react to Alphonse and what he looks like in the armour. He’s still so young too and I feel like he’s written really well here, Alphonse oughhh💔 takes place during canon and focuses on the kind of attention Alphonse would probably get due to his armour and how he feels about it)

“What makes a human” by Emmmmy ( focus on Roy and Alphonse. Really like how Alphonse is written in this one, he really feels his age and the back and forth with mustang is so enjoyable to read imo)

And that’s all!

I apologise if this was too long but I wanted to make sure that I had some good picks for you since Al-centred fics can be hard to find, these are just some of my faves, I think I might have more actually but I can’t remember. I also apologise for some of the rambles next to the fics too but some of them are so good I just have to and I felt it might be a good idea to give a basic rundown of some of the fics anyways. Okay byeee! :]

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I LEAVE YOU

Synopsis: “Mispronounced words. He had mispronounced one of the simplest words in the English language, and it had led to all of this.” (Also know as Inumaki Toge Tries To Tell You He Loves You, But It All Goes Terribly Wrong)

JJK Masterlist

Pairing: Inumaki x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.3k

Content Warnings: crack fic, secondhand embarrassment, miscommunication, mentions of sex toys/fetishes (non-explicit), megumi deserves damage pay, probably not lore-compliant, not at all to be taken seriously, characters are probably ooc tbh

A/N: i posted this literally two years ago on ao3 and it just occurred to me to put it on here LMAOAO anyways i obv wrote this a long time ago and it’s the most unserious ridiculous thing ever so please don’t judge me based on this fluffy goofy silly cracky nonsense i promise I’m better now!!

divider credits: @/benkeibear

The first emotion that spiked through you when you heard that the second years were back from their mission was relief. None of them were dead; anything else, you could deal with.

You had rushed to the infirmary, ignoring Nobara’s snickers. She alone knew who you was sprinting to see — your feelings for a certainupperclassman were highly secret, of course, but somehow she had found out, and of course she had, because she was Kugisaki Nobara, and nothing could really be kept secret from her for very long.

She had been urging you to do something, to make a move, citing that it “wasn’t like he had a lot of girls interested in him, anyways,” but you had always been too shy. You weren’t sure that you could handle a rejection, and it was hard to tell whether he was interested in you or just polite.

But your fear did not stop you from skidding to a stop in front of Shoko, giving her a wide-eyed stare, patiently waiting for her to tell you what was wrong with your friends.

“Did you need something?” she said. Obviously, her cursed technique had nothing to do with reading minds, but you still scowled at her for not knowing what you were thinking.

“The second years. Are…are they alright?” you said. She frowned, and this was your first clue that there was something less than alright going on with the trio.

“Well, they’re not permanently hurt, no,” she said. You sighed in relief — this was more than you could’ve hoped for. The curse that they had been sent to fight was obviously a strong one, and more than that, it was wily, with a rumored arsenal of techniques far beyond what you could even comprehend.

“That’s good,” you said.

“It is. They’ll all make a full recovery; Maki and Panda were barely impacted, anyways,” she said. Your blood ran cold at the name she didn’t mention.

“And Inumaki?” you said. If something had happened to him…you weren’t sure what you’d do. Probably cry. A lot.

“He’s fine, just a bit shocked. See, the curse managed to take his cursed energy from him, so until that’s been replenished, he’s just a normal person,” she said.

“Huh?” you said. “What does that mean?”

“Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” she said, ushering you into the infirmary, “I know that’s why you’re really here.”

Maki and Panda were nowhere to be found, and Shoko groaned, muttering about irresponsible children and telling you she’d be back with her patients in tow once more. This left you alone in the room with Inumaki Toge — at once your biggest dream and greatest fear.

You did not speak for the first few moments, far too nervous to open your mouth. He was buried in a mountain of pillows and blankets, soft blond hair falling in his violet eyes as he flipped through the pages of a book. His zipped up collar was nowhere to be seen; he only wore a plain white t-shirt, leaving his snake-fang seals visible. You had always thought they were pretty, so then your nerves were overtaken by infatuation with the elegant markings. The end result was the same: when Inumaki looked up, it was to you awkwardly standing in the room and watching him read.

“Hello,” he said. This made you pause and think.

“Hi?” you said.

“How are you doing?” he said. Now you really were confused.

“Not that I’m complaining, but can’t you…not speak?” you said. He set his book on his nightstand and sat up with a heavy sigh.

“Normally, I can’t. But as of right now, I can. That’s the effect of that curse we fought. I have the most cursed energy out of the three of us second years, so it drained mine, which means I’m unable to use my technique until my energy’s built up again. Shoko estimates it’ll be about a week,” he said.

“Oh!” you said. So Inumaki had one week of talking normally before he would be back to his usual limited speech. You wondered what he would think to say.

You had met Inumaki on your first day at Jujutsu Tech. He had helped you find your dorm room and then, via text, warned you about Gojo’s antics. Your crush had been born the very same day. He was so beautiful and kind that it was almost a no-brainer, really; though he could only speak in rice ball components, you didn’t even care. You found solace in swooning at him from afar, and every conversation you had ever had with him since then was filed away in a special corner of your mind, played on repeat whenever you were bored.

Nobara thought you were crazy when she found out, asking you if you had an ingredients fetish and then teasing you for a solid day by moaning tuna in your ear whenever she saw you. She only stopped because you started crying and begged Fushiguro’s Divine Dogs to chase her away if she got too close. The dogs were friendly enough and obliged, though you had had to buy Fushiguro several bags of candy for his troubles.

You could hear her voice in your ear right now as you stared at Inumaki, though it was thankfully not her moaning ingredients but rather her insisting that you say something. It was so easy; now, at least, he could reject you properly, with words instead of helpless frustration and a long-winded text about how you were nice, really, but he just thought of you as an annoying friend who didn’t leave him alone, and anyways, why would he ever like you?

“Can I tell you something?” he said before you could ask to do the same. Privately, you were relieved at this, for it meant you could procrastinate your confession a little further.

“What’s up?” you said, a small, childish hope arising in you that maybe, just maybe, this was it. Maybe he’d confess first, and then things would be very simple indeed. You allowed yourself to feel excitement building at this prospect.

“I…oh, man, how do I do this?” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a flush rising over his pale cheeks. “Ah, shit, I’ve spent my whole life wishing I could speak and having so many things to say but not the words to say them, and now that I finally can talk, I just don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s alright. You can take your time, I don’t mind,” you said politely. And you didn’t mind — whatever he had to say, you would wait around for years if you needed to in order to hear it. He ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ll just come out with it, then!” he said, nodding determinedly before locking eyes with you, “I leave you.”

It suddenly felt like you were underwater, ears ringing. Your throat choked, and pathetic, childish tears blurred your vision. He was leaving. Inumaki, for whatever reason, was leaving. And not only was he leaving, he was leaving you in specific.

“R-really?” you said, forcing a smile, though you knew it was awfully unconvincing. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What?” He seemed embarrassed, now, averting his eyes, “No, why would you think that?”

“Well, you just said…” you trailed off helplessly.

“Oh. I thought you would be happy,” he said, his voice quiet, small, ashamed. He looked almost brokenhearted, though why he would be feeling hurt about this development, you could not be sure. He was the one making the choice to leave; you were the one fated to stay behind.

“Why would I be happy about that?” you said. He was dejected when he spoke next.

“Never mind. I don’t…I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said.

“I’ll still support you,” you said, steeling yourself to flash him a watery smile, “I hope we can still be friends.”

“Yes! Yes, please, please, I know I messed up by telling you this, but I don’t want us to stop being friends,” he said.

“I’m glad you told me, though. I’d rather not be left in the dark. Have you told anyone else yet?” you said.

“No, though I’m sure Panda suspects it,” he said before shifting uncomfortably to pull his blankets up and hide his face, “Can you, um, go? I want some time alone.”

“Right,” you said, “I’m glad you’re not hurt permanently.”

As you left, you thought you heard sniffles coming from the lump under the blanket, but if he really was crying, he gave you no other indication of it. You thought of lingering, of comforting him and asking him to comfort you, demanding he tell you the reason for his departure, but it was not your place. So, biting the inside of your cheek to hold your tears back, you marched towards Nobara’s dorm.

“He told you he’s leaving you?” she said, ten minutes later once you had explained to her the entire story. “How odd. And he hasn’t told anyone he’s transferring yet? Not even Gojo or Principal Yaga?”

“No,” you said, finding solace in her warm embrace, the scent of roses that wafted off of her skin, “I just don’t understand why he’s going.”

“It’s so strange. I mean, I really thought he liked you! Although, maybe he does. Think about it, you’re the first person he’s told, so clearly he trusts you a lot!” she said.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” you said, “Regardless as to his reasons, it remains that he’s leaving me. At least he said we can still be friends, though.”

“Wait!” she said, and there was a conniving smirk on her face that spelled trouble, “I have an idea. Let’s throw a surprise going-away-party for him! Even if you don’t confess, at least it’ll show you care about him. And maybe we’ll be able to figure out why he’s leaving and where he’s going, too.”

“We have to do it before the end of the week, then, that’s when Shoko estimates his cursed energy will be back to normal and he won’t be able to talk anymore,” you said.

“I doubt you’d be complaining about that, Miss Ingredients Fetish,” Nobara said.

“I don’t have a fetish for ingredients!” you said, wriggling out of her hug and glaring at her.

“Oh, really? So you won’t get all hot and bothered if I say ‘salmon,’ right?” she said.

“No!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Nobara, I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” you said.

“Salmon,” she said, panting dramatically and clutching her chest. You threw a pillow at her, knocking her off of the bed in a fit of laughter.

“You suck,” you said.

“You swallow,” she shot back.

“Ugh! You’re hopeless!” you said, throwing your hands in the air.

“I’ll text the group chat to make plans for the party!” she said. You gave her the finger and stomped out of her room to go sit in your own and mope about the fact that Inumaki was leaving.

Really, this was probably a good thing. After all, with him gone, you didn’t have to worry about him accidentally finding out about your crush. And maybe you’d even be able to move on, though you had no idea who at this school would measure up to Inumaki.

Nobara’s plan was sound, though. A going away party would be perfect to wish him one final farewell — provided, of course, that you were able to keep it a secret from the boy. This was easier said than done, but you were determined. You would make Inumaki’s party an occasion to remember, but this meant you had to call in some help.

The first thing you did the next day was video call Okkotsu, who was currently in Africa, training with a sorcerer named Miguel. You had to track down Maki and beg her for his number; she had been very confused but had given it to you anyways.

This left you staring at your phone screen, praying he would pick up. Inumaki and Okkotsu were best friends, so it would be wrong to not tell the black-haired sorcerer about your plans. He also might have some insight as to where Inumaki was going and why he was leaving.

“Hello?” Thankfully, Okkotsu picked up, looking extraordinarily confused. There were dark circles under his eyes and a katana strapped to his back. Despite the fact that he looked battle ready, he was just sitting on a couch and shoving chips in his mouth. “Who is this?”

“Okkotsu, sir! This is Y/N, I’m one of the first years at Jujutsu Tech,” you said.

“Okay. Don’t call me sir, it’s weird and I’m only a year older than you. Is there a reason you’re calling me?” he said.

“Yes, there is. See, Inumaki —” you began before he cut you off.

“Ohhh, you’re that Y/N! Yeah, yeah, I completely approve,” he said.

“Did Nobara already tell you?” you said.

“No, Inumaki’s been telling me about this for months now! Who’s Nobara?” he said.

“Months? But we didn’t even start planning until yesterday,” you said.

“He’s been dreaming of this day since the beginning of the year, even video called me and everything! I don’t think I’ve heard him say ‘salmon’ as many times in a row ever before or since,” he said. Unbidden, you remembered Nobara’s actions from yesterday and shivered before shaking your head to clear such thoughts from your mind.

“Do you know why he…you know?” you said. If Inumaki really had been planning on leaving for so long, then certainly Okkotsu would know why. The boy hummed and nodded.

“Yeah, for sure! But it’s a little weird if I say it, you know? Against the bro code or whatever, and it’d feel a bit too much like I was trying to slide in, which I’m not! Just ask him, I’m sure he’ll be delighted to tell you. God, he must be so happy right now! I wish I could be there to see it,” he said.

“Well, that’s actually why I called you. I’m throwing a surprise party in honor of the occasion, and I was wondering if you’d be able to come, or at least video call in,” you said. Each word Okkotsu uttered was like a stab in the heart, further reinforcing the fact that Inumaki really, really, really didn’t like you. Why else did he make plans to leave the literal day he had met you? You only wished he would’ve gone sooner so that your feelings did not build up and compound from a simple admiration into something greater, something beautiful and untouchable yet twisted and cruel.

“Sounds like a great time! Just video call me, I’ll be sure to pick up. And I’ll try to send something along as a gift, too! Damn, I know it’s not my news to be excited for, but it feels as though my heart’s going to burst!” he said, popping a final chip into his mouth before hanging up. You stared at the phone’s black screen for a second, marvelling at how this short conversation had made you feel even worse about the status of your relationship with Inumaki.

Before, you had believed that the two of you were friends, at least. You both had gotten along well enough — you would train together and slip each other notes with book recommendations. He had told you his favorite restaurant and described exactly the meal you should order, and you had introduced him to your favorite television series. Yet with the latest revelations that your discussion with Okkotsu had brought about, it was clear that all of this was Inumaki doing the bare minimum to tolerate you until the day he could leave.

Maybe he was glad that he could speak, if only for a short time. It allowed him to tell you in no uncertain terms that he was going away. If only he had elaborated back then! If only he had said that he felt such a way about you from the very start instead of leading you on with candy-sweet platitudes and feigned affection.

With Okkotsu’s presence now confirmed (and a gift apparently on the way), you moved on to the next thing you had to do in order to prepare for the party: recruit the other second years.

You decided to start with Maki. Though she was seemingly brusque, she was also a caring girl, and you knew she’d be thrilled to help throw a farewell party for one of her closest friends, even if she had not known he was leaving until just now.

As expected, she was properly enraged upon hearing the news.

“He’s leaving? Leaving where, exactly? The only place he’ll be going is hell, because I’m about to punch him so hard that that’s where he’ll end up!” she said, balling her fists, a vein popping in her forehead.

“Woah, hey, Maki! I don’t know where he’s going, but please don’t confront him. I don’t think he wants people knowing, and I want the party to be a surprise. He might get suspicious if he realizes that you know,” you said.

“Stupid idiot, won’t even tell his own classmates that he’s going,” she muttered, “I’ll keep your secret. But I will be committing violence at the party.”

“Please don’t!” you said, distressed at the thought, “I want him to have a fun final memory of Jujutsu Tech.”

Her eyes softened when she looked at you, and she nodded begrudgingly. “Alright. Your secret, and your party, are safe with me. I won’t tell a soul! Although, you know…a surprise farewell party would be a great place to confess your feelings.”

“How — how do you know about my feelings?” you said.

“Firstly, you’re not exactly subtle, the others are just really oblivious. Secondly, Nobara mayyyy have let something slip,” she said.

“I’m going to kill her,” you said.

“Don’t,” she said.

“No, I’m seriously considering it,” you said.

“If you do, I’ll ruin Inumaki’s party,” she threatened.

“Fine!” you whined like a child, “I’m going to go talk to Panda.”

The large bear was asleep in the sun when you reached him. You nudged him with your foot in an attempt to get him to wake up; thankfully, he did, blinking his beetle-dark eyes open sleepily and sitting up when he saw you.

“Panda, I need your help,” you said seriously once you were sure that you had his undivided attention.

“What’s the matter?” he said.

“Inumaki’s leaving, so I’m throwing him a party,” you said. Panda furrowed his brow, clearly trying to process this development.

“He is?” he finally said. You nodded, a small frown tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Yeah, he literally told me as much! He was all like ‘I leave you,’ and it was kind of upsetting, actually,” you said.

“How interesting,” he said finally, and now there was mischief in his expression, “And you need my help with hosting a party?”

“I don’t know how much of a party it’ll be, exactly, I mean it’ll only be the first and second years, but yes, basically,” you said. He chuckled, rubbing his paws together menacingly.

“Excellent. Yes, I’d love to help! And it’s a surprise, right?” he said.

“Yes?” you said. He looked almost evil at this point, baring his teeth in his version of a smirk.

“Even better.”

With the second years thusly recruited and the first years taken care of by Nobara (you wasn’t sure what, exactly, she had over Fushiguro to convince him to join in on the festivities, but judging by the sour expression on his face when he RSVP'd to you, it had to be something), the guest list was complete. Panda assured you he’d get Inumaki to come without being obvious, and you were happy to entrust the task to him.

This left you to go shopping for party supplies, using Gojo’s credit card (Fushiguro had told you where it was hidden). You had convinced Nobara to stay behind, claiming that she needed to hold down the fort in your absence and get started on cleaning the room you’d use for the party. That was a lie, of course — you actually just didn’t want to take her shopping with you. If she came, you wouldn’t be back before midnight, and the party was supposed to be tonight.

“Where are you going?” Inumaki said. You almost screamed at the sound of his voice; you hadn’t expected him to just manifest out of nowhere, and especially not when you were trying to sneak out of the school in order to buy things for his surprise party.

“Shopping!” you said.

“Can I come? I feel like things were kinda left off weirdly last time we spoke, and I hoped we could try to fix them,” he said. You were unused to hearing him speak so many words at once, and you were mesmerised for a second before you mentally slapped yourself out of it.

“No! You cannot come. Sorry,” you said, feeling bad. You wanted nothing more than to talk with Inumaki, to talk and talk until your throat went dry and your words ran out, but if he saw what you were shopping for, then he’d catch on to the plan.

“Oh. Is it because I told you — ?”

“Absolutely not!” you yelped, cutting him off, not wanting him to get any ideas, “I’m shopping for personal things. Like tampons.”

“I don’t really mind that,” he said shyly, “I don’t think tampons are gross. I mean, they’re only plastic and cotton. I just really want to talk with you.”

“Sex toys!” you said.

“Um, what?” he said, taken aback. Your face was hot with embarrassment, but you needed him to understand that he was not allowed to come shopping with you. So you locked eyes with him and tried to repeat yourself.

“I am going shopping for, uh, you know…I mean, you heard me!” you said.

“Right!” he said, and he was so completely red you almost called him Clifford, “I’ll leave you to it, then! I guess we can talk later.”

You gave him a fake smile and a thumbs up, staying frozen in place until he had disappeared from sight. Then, with a wail, you called Nobara.

“I fucking told him I was shopping for sex toys!” you said, not even waiting for her to greet you like usual. There was a long silence on the other end of the line before someone cleared their throat.

“This is Fushiguro,” he said. You promptly hung up and cursed your luck. You should’ve sent Nobara to do the shopping. You really, reallyshould’ve sent Nobara.

That evening, as the sun set over the horizon and Panda distracted Inumaki, the rest of you decorated the room that Nobara and Yuji had cleared earlier in the day. Maki and Nobara were too busy whispering amongst each other to actually help, though, and you were hiding in the corner, too terrified of his reaction to even glance in Fushiguro’s direction. For his part, he did an excellent job of ignoring you, leaving him and Yuji to do the majority of the setting up.

When anxiety made it difficult to breathe, you began to fiddle with the projector, where Okkotsu’s face would be shown once he called in to the party. The green light was blinking, which meant that it was ready to go and was only waiting for you to connect your phone to it.

“It’s going to be fine,” Nobara soothed you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I think he’ll be thankful you planned something like this at all.”

“And I still think you should confess your feelings,” Maki said, adding her unwanted opinion, “Seriously! If he rejects you then it doesn’t matter, because he’ll just be leaving soon anyways. I think you should consider it.”

“She’s right,” Nobara said, “Here, maybe this’ll motivate you.”

She leaned in until her lips were barely brushing against the shell of your ear, cool breath tickling against your neck.

“What are you doing?” you said, unamused. She pitched her voice lower before speaking.

“Bonito flakes.”

“You little — stop doing that! I do not have an ingredients fetish!” you shouted, hitting her shoulder repeatedly. She burst into raucous laughter, tears of mirth gathering along her lash line.

“I’m going to have to request you to please stop talking about your intimate life in front of me, please,” Fushiguro said uncomfortably, “I already know far more than I ever wanted to.”

“Fushiguro, it wasn’t like that, I was shopping for party supplies! I only said the other thing to throw Inumaki off the trail,” you said.

“Okay,” he said, obviously not believing you but allowing you to pretend, “Whatever you say.”

“Shh! Panda and Inumaki are on their way!” Yuji said, interrupting the conversation by hushing all of you obnoxiously, “Everyone, positions!”

You all ducked behind various pieces of furniture, and one of Fushiguro’s Divine Dogs hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness before it melted into the shadows once more.

A second later, the door creaked open, revealing Inumaki and Panda’s silhouettes standing in the frame. From beside you, Nobara began to giggle, and you pinched her in an effort to get her to shut up. It worked, although it did have the unfortunate consequence of her pinching you back.

“What’s going on here?” Inumaki said, turning the lights on. As soon as he did, you all (with the exception of Fushiguro, of course) leapt out at him. He fell backwards in surprise, staring up at you through thick lashes.

“Surprise!” Yuji said.

“It’s not my birthday?” Inumaki said.

“Do you see a cake anywhere?” Nobara said, “This isn’t a birthday party, it’s a farewell party!”

“A farewell party? But who are we saying farewell to?” Inumaki said in confusion.

“You. Did you think we wouldn’t care about your departure? You idiot, we’re going to miss you so much!” Maki said, sniffing and wiping away a tear.

“Let’s all go around and share our favorite memories with Inumaki,” Yuji said. Inumaki seemed dumbfounded, so Nobara took the initiative to respond.

“That’s a great idea! I’ll go first — I really enjoyed the one time he let me paint his nails,” she said.

“I don’t have any good memories,” Fushiguro deadpanned, “But if I had to pick a tolerable one, it would be when I convinced him to use his Cursed Speech on Nanami.”

“I remember that!” Maki said, howling in laughter, “And I can’t pick a favorite memory. We just have too many good ones.”

“Same!” Yuji said, and he was bawling now for some reason, “You’re just so cool, Inumaki! I’m so sad that you’re going!”

“Y/N, what about you?” Maki said.

“Confess! Confess! Confess!” Nobara chanted, not even trying to be subtle about it anymore.

“Be quiet!” you said.

“Do it or I’ll do it for you!” she said. You looked around at the audience; they all seemed interested, even Fushiguro. Though you wanted to talk to Inumaki in a bit more of a private setting, Nobara and Maki were right in that this was the perfect time to say something. So, taking a deep breath, you faced the boy.

“Inumaki,” you said, “I know that I’ve been acting weird recently, ever since you told me you’ll be going, but that’s because I don’t want you to. See, the truth is that I love you. I think I have for a while now, and I’m going to miss you, and I don’t want you to go, so please don’t. Please stay.”

He blinked. “Huh? What do you mean? I never said I was going anywhere.”

“Yes you did!” you said, pointing at him accusingly, “I remember it! That day in the infirmary!”

“I didn’t say I was going anywhere, I said I leave you!” he said.

“That’s the same thing!” you said indignantly, “You’re getting upset about semantics when I just confessed that I love you, idiot! Doesn’t that even mean anything to you?”

“No? I’ve never heard of that word before!” he said.

“Love? You’ve never heard of love before?” you said. He shook his head.

“Nope,” he said.

“L-O-V-E. Love. That rings no bells?” you said. His face suddenly went snow-white.

“L-O-V-E is pronounced…love?” he said.

“How the hell else would it be pronounced?” you snapped, feeling far too bewildered and irritated to soften your words. How could he have treated your feelings so flippantly? How did he just not understand love?

Inumaki suddenly found the floor incredibly fascinating. “...leave.”

“What?” You said.

“What?” he said innocently.

“OH MY GOD!” Nobara squealed, catching on far quicker than you, “You both are idiots!” Finally, you began to understand, and then you were inclined to agree with her.

“So you’re not going anywhere?” you checked.

“No, I’m not,” he said.

“He hasn’t been able to speak for practically his entire life,” Panda said, shoulders shaking with laughter, “Can you blame him if he mispronounces a couple of words now and then? It’s not like anybody’s ever corrected him before.”

Mispronounced words. He had mispronounced one of the simplest words in the English language, and it had led to all of this.

“You’re not leaving,” you said again, drawing closer to him, “You’re not leaving me.”

“I won’t ever leave you if you don’t want me to,” he said, wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug.

“Don’t,” you said, “Please don’t.”

“I love you. That’s what I meant to say all along,” he said.

“I guess I threw this whole party for nothing, then,” you said, hiding your face in his shirt.

“Is this what you were shopping for earlier? Not…the other things?” he said.

“Yeah. It was just a surprise, so I didn’t want you coming along,” you said, feeling bashful at how entirely silly the entire affair had ended up being. He let out a warm, gentle laugh that caused his chest to vibrate against your cheek.

“It’ll be hard, you know. Once this week is over, I’ll be back to only speaking in rice ball ingredients,” he warned.

“That’s probably for the best. Less room for misinterpretation,” you said.

“Plus, she has an ingredients fetish!” Nobara chimed in. You withdrew from the safety of Inumaki’s shirt to scowl at her.

“Enough with the ingredients fetish!”

A knock at the door interrupted the tense showdown; Panda opened it to reveal a delivery man, who was holding a package and fidgeting, probably out of fear, considering he was face to face with a giant, sentient panda.

“I have a package from an Okkotsu Yuta, addressed here?” he said. You slapped your forehead.

“Shit, I forgot about him! Thank you,” you said, accepting the box and then quickly calling Okkotsu.

“Hey, guys!” he said cheerily. His phone must have been set up against the wall of a building or something, because it showed him busy using his katana to exorcise curses and not even breaking a sweat, “Sorry, this isn’t a great time, but congratulations on getting together! I hope you like your present — hey! Stay away from the iPhone!” The screen abruptly went dark as a curse swiped at Okkotsu’s cell phone, knocking it down while the sorcerer snarled.

“Open the present!” Yuji said excitedly.

Inside of the box were two bright pink t-shirts. Both of them had white lettering on them — one said I’m Okkotsu Yuta’s Best Friend Foreverand the other said I’m Okkotsu Yuta’s Girlfriend-in-Law.

You all stared at them, expressions varying from amusement to delight to horror. You didn’t even question how Okkotsu had known that you and Inumaki would confess to each other. Clearly, he already thought you both were together, so it was really just divine timing in that sense.

Somewhere in Africa, Okkotsu finished exorcising the curses and sheathed his katana, casting aside his jacket to reveal a bright pink shirt that said on it in white lettering, I’m Okkotsu Yuta.

“Maybe they’ll let me third wheel,” he mused to himself, “I mean, they had better, considering how hard these shirts were to find at the thrift store.”

[tiny-pun]

On writing pain

Okay so for once this isn’t an actual prompt but more so a tip:

If your character is supposedly in pain that lasts more than a couple of days or even weeks and months, eg. Because of a bigger wound or of a (new) disability… you most likely should show this in more ways than just the occasional “gasp and clutching the wound”!

Having such constant pain will have at least some kind of emotional impact: the stress of constantly being in pain, the constant push and pull between just succumbing to the pain and laying down until it goes away or just ignoring it and powering through. The balancing act of not overdoing it and being hypervigilant to the point you just hunch down to avoid worsening it.

Additionally you have to think about how to treat all of the different pains. How connected are they really? How much sense does it actually make to take pain meds ? Are there enough? Do I trust my doctor/s, to actually listen to me and take my pain seriously? Am I over exaggerating my pain? Am I underselling it? Am I annoying my doctor? Should I just wait and hope it goes away? It’s probably nothing anyway. But what if it’s so much worse ? What if this pain is just covering up something truly awful? But what if I’m making such a fuss now and tomorrow I can jump around like always? How unnecessary it would be to get so many people involved. Right ? This is especially hindered by poor use of words aka incapability to communicate. ( My head is just … kinda fuzzy?/Everything hurts?)

Another factor is how much they want to openly tell others about it. And whom they could possibly even tell and all the whys and hows surrounding it. And how hard it would be aka how long they’ve know each other and how much time they spent together. The hiding and lying adds more emotional stress and also possibly leads to neglect of any medical help. The “overt” complaining about the pain/situation can be exhausting and thus a different kind of stress. Especially if they’re feeling childish/unheard or otherwise ashamed about voicing anything but positive emotions but the pain is just too much and too consistent.

This can also lead to a constant comparison of how far into their recovery they “statistically already should be” or just the plain old “I could do xyz SO EASILY before”. Or worse: they’re comparing themselves to another (equally) wounded/disabled character. Wether it’s an internal belief or externally expected: if the character believes, that their wound/pain is comparably minor or should be easily overcome by themselves; and especially if they have a certain goal in mind, by which they should be back to their regular power and it’s not look in good … well then you certainly have a nice cocktail of stress and anxiety.

And if during the time of their supposed recovery, they end up getting some minor but more common sickness, eg. A cold or a stomach bug, it might not be their first thought. In fact they might do any and every test possible BUT think of the common cold. Not bc they’re necessarily stupid but bc of the fear, things might go to hell after all. Especially if the symptoms of both illnesses are similar enough. Anything else will just not be in their radar.

Also how would they like to be taken care of ? How much of that is a facade to please others ? Do they actually want to be hugged right now or are they just trying to please someone yet feeling suffocated? Do they just want their dead siblings soup and is a companionable silence enough to know they’re gonna be fine? How honest are they towards not only themselves but to others? And how much can the people and the situation itself even give that to them right now? (Do they need silence but they’re currently lying low in the city’s biggest hotel next to the market place?)

For all of this it doesn’t matter how big or small the pain actually is. What matters is that it is seemingly constant and only very slowly going away. The combination of constant physical pain with so much emotional turmoil and back and forth between opposing ideals aka stress can translate to even more physical pain aka psychosomatic pain. Headaches, breathlessness and even bigger issues such as literal heartaches can be the result.

This all can lead to spiralling and in the worst case a (temporary) depression. I dont think I have to explain how that could look like.

And one last thing: If the character is used to being in life or death situations, no matter if it’s due to multiple fights or an already existing disability: the common cold might be worse to deal with. They could be so used to dealing with the possibility of death that anything less than that is ironically unbearable. During a basically fatal stabbing they might just say a cheeky joke but freak out during the common cold.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. If you have the same pain for more than 6 week pls get it checked out if you can! And get well soon. These are just possible ways to write, what kind of thoughts and issues any type of constant pain (fatal or not) could cause.

[cherryheairt]

Request - @jason-todd-fangirl-14

my first request! tysm, I hope this is okay <33

TLB

req-Can I request some sweet fluffy with Bucky Barnes please? Maybe some injury/surgery recovery with him? Thanks! :)

Everyone is alive and well living at the Avengers tower, I had long hair Bucky in mind but imagine whatever you'd like

F!mc no desc, but being fem has nothing to do with the plot, just the pronouns

Bucky x reader

❄️

When y/n limped off of the quinjet, with Natasha's aid, she was reminded yet again by her dear friend to tell Bucky.

"You know he'll find out anyways, why prolong your own suffering?" The redhead asked, flawless as always even after their duo mission.

Y/n threw her head back, groaning. "You know how he is, Nat! He won't let me eat for weeks by myself, let alone go on any other missions."

"Maybe that's for the better." The elder snorted, earning a sharp elbow to the rib. "Watch it! I will drop you, y'know."

"No, you wont." Y/n smugly countered. "My poor injured self can't do this al-"

Natasha unceremoniously dropped her to the floor of the medbay's doorway, earning a surprised gasp from Dr. Cho and a pained yelp from Y/n.

"Nat!" she yelled. "I didn't think you would actually do it." Groaning, she rubbed her hip, sure that it would bruise.

Natasha only smirked down at her, then helped her up again. "Sorry, you know I can't resist when someone challenges me."

"Have some sympathy for a poor wounded soilder. " Y/n joked, not having any genuine hard feelings towards Natasha. Dr. Cho and Nat worked together to lift her onto a bed.

"Just a cut, I think, Helen." Y/n told the doctor with a slightly bashful look. She rarely ended up in the medbay, and when she did, it was always for some stupid and avoidable mistake. Tony lovingly liked to call her 'time-bomb' for her untimely injuries.

Bucky liked to call her reckless.

"Mm, maybe we should call Bucky in here to take care of it. Some Tender Lovin Bucky." Natasha snorted again when Y/n tried to swat at her, being dodged easily.

"Ha ha, Natasha the comedian." She said dryly.

Nat only bowed dramatically, striding towards the door again. "I'll leave you to it. I'm gonna go out with Clint to lunch. Good luck with your soilder!" She called over her soilder, jogging to the elevator.

Y/N groaned, sitting back into the bed as Helen fussed over her cut. "A bit deeper than just a cut, Y/N. Gonna need a few stiches." Helen told her, raising a brow.

"Sorry, Hel." She said sheepishly.

❄️

Less than an hour later, Y/n was hobbling herself to the elevator after being dismissed by Cho.

Praying that she didnt run into anyone on her room's floor, y/n was glad to make it all the way past the kitchens without a soul in sight. It was Saturday after all.

She entered her room with a sigh, stretching her sore muscles as the door closed behind her.

She walked to her dresser, hoping to shower the day away and take a well earned nap.

"Where have you been?" A voice startled her from her plans. Turning, she saw Bucky sitting on her loveseat, completely in silence.

"Bit scary, don't you think? How long have you been sitting in here?" She asked. Of course, he was old and used to sitting in silence, but some music wouldn't hurt.

He rolled his eyes, standing up. "Avoiding the question." He said, icy eyes zoned in on her worriedly.

"So are you,' She countered innocently.

"Doll," he chastised, sighing. "What happened?"

"Just a little scrat-"

"You got hurt? Where?" Immediately he scanned her up and down, searching for some major dislocation or third degree burn.

"Just a cut, see?" She lifted her leg slightly to the daylight coming through the window. "Already stitched up, Cho said I'd be fine to go on missions again in a few days." She assured him, hands on his wrists to stop him from turning her this way and that.

Bucky pursed his lips, sighing through his nose. "I hate you going on these missions alone," he told her.

"I'm not, I had Nat with me.' Y/n assured him again.

"It's not the same. If I went with, I'd be able to keep my eye on you instead of waiting for you here uselessly."

"You're not useless when you're waiting here." She planted dainty little kisses along his knuckles. "It makes it easier to do missions knowing you're here waiting for me. What motivation do I have to come home without you?"

"Don't say that," he said, though he melted into her touch nontheless.

"Its true." She grinned up at him.

Huffing dramatically, he layed his head on her shoulder, giving in. "Let me help you out with the shower, then you're confined to bed rest forever." Bucky said.

"Forever ever?" She laughed, leaning into his arms and the warmth of him. "A bit melodramatic for a little cut, Buck."

"Its not," he smiled back. "Perfectly reasonable."

❄️

After a much-needed shower, y/n and Bucky settled themselves down on her bed, her head on his chest while she laid on her good leg's side.

The silence was peaceful, only the sound of breathing and heartbeats in the room.

"I guess it is kinda nice," she spoke up softly, in her haze of comfort.

"hm?' Bucky mumbled, playing with a strand of her hair.

"Sitting in silence." She replied, earning a quiet chuckle from his chest.

He kissed the crown of her head softly, "get some rest. I'll take care of you."

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Hello! Here comes a new voice, Curly! I hope to ask something quite personal.

Growing I have always been well,,, envious. Not that I have hurt people because of it though, as I would rather internalize the bitter pangs of jealousy I feel. The catch is, Im not envious of money, or fame, or relationships - I’m envious of leadership and how my other peers seem to be loved by everyone so effortlessly while I’m sometimes viewed as too bossy and not someone comfortable enough to be a close friend

(And we know who that sounds like)

And I feel terrible, genuinely I do, that I feel this way subconsciously. I am a responsible person for the most part just,,, a little too blunt? a little too much? I will never know

How do you do it? Get everyone to like you and respect you at the same time? To see your boundaries but also remain close to you? Its just such a blurry line to me, I end up distancing myself from people Im envious of to avoid hurting them. I genuinely just want company that does not end up stepping on me or cutting me off.

Thank you and I genuinely hope for your recovery! And everyone else’s too! Anya is such a great healthcare professional I wish to be as competent as her❤️

Hello there! Welcome.

There’s no point to hating yourself up over feelings, yeah? Not like you can control those. Nothing wrong with a little jealousy if it doesn’t cloud your judgement. Anyway, some of the best leaders are bossy. Figure a lot of them are better than me. You have to order people around sometimes. Have to give them orders they don’t like or understand… I’ve always hated that bit. You have to be closed-off, too. Gotta keep a degree of distance. You can be pals just fine, but at the end of the day, you’re here to help them, not the other way around.

I’m serious though, conventional lovableness isn’t everything. And bluntness can be very important. Look at Swansea and Daisuke!

Daisuke’s a pretty lovable guy (not that Swans isn’t!), but that doesn’t stop him from screwing things up, yeah? He’s new at this, so that’s to be expected, but if push comes to shove, it isn’t Daisuke I’d want taking charge. It’s Swansea, for all his gruffness. He’s not afraid to piss people off, and while that’s a pain sometimes, it’s useful in a crisis. I can trust that he won’t waste time; if the job needs to be done, he’ll do it without checking in on everyone’s feelings.

When things go wrong on the ship, there’s not always time to run it by me. And if I’m there but have a limited knowledge of the situation, I could unintentionally give bad orders. I like having Swansea as my mechanic because he’s not afraid to act without permission and not afraid to defy me if he deems it necessary. You’d think that’d be a bad thing, but when we need to act fast? That’s damn important.

Anyway, I’m not as great a leader as you seem to think. Not everyone will like and respect you. Not everyone I’ve captained for has liked or respected me. The important thing, as a leader, is to have an understanding: your crew doesn’t have to like or respect you, but they have to listen to you or the whole damn thing falls apart. It may be all-encompassing, but at the end of the day this is a job, not personal life. A risky job at that. The functionality of the ship and the crew must come before any personal problems. In my co-pilot days, one of my captains really didn’t like me. She was maybe a bit older than Swansea is now, and she made it very clear that she didn’t appreciate having to fly with some kid a third of her age. But as a rule, any pettiness we had stayed out of the cockpit during flight.

Look, it’s a hard pill to swallow (and I know all about those), but not everyone’s going to like you. Not every friend is a ride-or-die (sometimes they’re just a die). I know all about that, too. But you don’t have to distance yourself from those who consider themselves your friends for fear of hurting them, you know? You say you’re afraid of being cut off, but if you’re avoiding them, you’ll be doing the cutting before they get the chance. Hey, if you trust that they won’t react badly, you could always tell them how you feel. Talk it out, yeah? Let them know how you feel, and… Sometimes it’ll get better for a while.

I hope that helped somewhat. Thank you for the well-wishes towards myself and my crew. And I agree, Anya is great! She got this competent through hard work, practice, and unrelenting determination, if you want a page from her book.

[strawdool]

Let me tell you Straw, your Modern AU has given me an immense amount of inspiration. At one point I would have liked to write some fanfics around it but it wasn't really in my right to do so, so I didn't. I think I like this AU in particular because in order for Lamb and Narinder to even remotely make it work they have to fight through a ton of issues. I like seeing characters get completely broken by the consequences of their actions and then learn how to fight their own demons. It's also a bit of hit or miss on whether people like this relationship development, but I really like the kind of relationships in fiction where the characters have to really fight for it. It's all well and good to have a story where the characters fall in love instantly and after maybe one calamity or two, they set off in the sunset. But for me, I like the relationships more where you aren't sure where things are going. There's clear signs but the two characters really have to want that relationship to make it work and fight through a lot of problems. It can suck seeing the characters stumble but in the end to me, it's very rewarding that once they have (hopefully) solved said issues, they will probably have a stronger and healthier relationship than most. To me, any kind of foundation that has seen struggle and survived it will always be stronger than one that has never experienced conflict. In other words, a relationship that could survive its issues and find compromise and resolution I think is more likely to last in the end. This is not always the case but in fiction we can force happy endings right? That said though, I have to really wonder if your modern Narinder and Lamb will ever get their act together to actually forge a peaceful and successful life together. I don't know if you have a full story planned out or not but if Narinder has already screwed up to the point of a breakup then there may be no recovery from that. The path forward I see is him finally addressing his problems and trying to turn his life around. As the Lamb, hopefully they can find a life where they're not in threat of the outside world. Maybe the two could eventually reconcile and form a long lasting friendship even if it never fully repairs. I'm just always hoping that characters will learn from their mistakes even though often in real life some people never learn and will constantly do the same horrible things. If I had to say what the most appealing part of your au is, it's the hope aspect. It's the hope that someday Narinder will realize what a trash bucket he is and do something about it. It's the hope that the Lamb can realize their self worth. Maybe it'll end with Narinder, a fully cleaned up man with a plan, formally apologizing to the Lamb for everything he's done and after a cordial conversation he disappears, on to a new life. The Lamb doesn't really know what becomes of him but hopes that he will do some good with his life. Maybe somewhere in the back of their head they'll lament too that Narinder figured things out too late. I don't know, thinking out loud at this point. But hey, this is a very interesting AU and it has sparked far more ideas than just those. So have a good day and I very much look forward to more if you happen to do so.

me when anon goes into a full rant about my au i feel so happy that my au had make you have a lot of inspo <33333

anyway answering your question, Narinder and Lamb spiral after the breakup: lamb bc they were betrayed at their most vulnerable and Narinder trying to justify his bad action with "they deserved it" but deep down knowing he fucked up badly but he doesnt want to accept that and so he doubles down and he gets into a very bad place mentally.

but while Lamb finally opens up to their insecurities and their situations to goat and ratau after all. Narinder had already pushed everyone away; no family, no friends, nothing.

it takes a while until one day Narinder finally comes to the realization how badly he is and starts getting his life together. (i like to say that it all starts with cleaning his apartment lol)

he doesnt contact lamb for a whole year at this point he even got a job and is now reconnecting with his kids, until he remember Lamb and finally accepts that the way he treated them and all the blame the put on them wasnt right.

And so he tries to find them to talk things throught (goes to a point he kinda starts stalking them for a bit) and when he finally gets to them Goat is the one who interrupts him with punching him in the face. but mf doesnt give up which results in him getting his ass beaten many times.

For Lamb and Narinder to finally get on good terms it takes a while, if reconstructing their friendship already took them months, rekindle the romantic relationship its another can of worms that both try to take it slowly and not rush things. Narinder in that he becomes really nervous, afraid to hurt them again and Lamb tries to takes things step by step specially for trusting him again.

[whitexwolfxx310]

I Love You In Every Universe

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Summary: Trying to mend your relationship with Bucky is going so painfully slow. And then it's not.

Warnings: Spicy content! 18+ only! Cursing, oral sex MTF, penetration, praise kink, small amount of submissive kink, and I think that's all?

Word Count: 3428

A/Ns: I needed to write a total smut post. Those seem to be pretty popular haha. We have Baker Bucky! I got a few requests for that! Anyway, enjoy! I'll continue the storyline in my next post!

Previous Part

Masterlist

Finding out that your brother is not only alive, but that he is the new face of Hydra, is one of the biggest twists that fate could spit out. After the terrifying realization that occurred in your office, you’ve been thrown into countless meetings and conferences where you were probed for information on Luke that wasn’t already disclosed in his military files.

Steve and Tony had constant questions and concerns about the situation. They felt that maybe Luke would try and reach out or maybe there was some hidden information that you would somehow be privy to. But it had been two years since everyone thought that he was long dead.

The tension in The Compound rose. Your job got put into question, certain people wondering why you would even apply to intern here in the first place. Are you a double agent? Finding and leaking information to Hydra from within? Your morals had never once been questioned until now.

Bucky was the only one who didn’t make the whole situation feel like an interrogation. He remained supportive, being the person to suggest you take time to recollect yourself when it became too much. The only one who didn’t have questions but was always silently there in the corner watching and listening, taking every bit of information in.

A task force was assigned to try and track Luke, in hope of him not being too far gone. It had been done with Bucky, could it be done with your brother as well? You were also chosen for this mission, which did not go over well with Bucky. Him and Tony had argued over using yourself as bait to draw him out. In the end, it was your decision, and you would chose to go.

Even with the stress of the current situation, you used Bucky as a welcomed distraction. Leaning on one another as you both grasped onto your undeniable tethered connection. There was still a long road to recovery for both Bucky and your relationship. But he did his damndest to make you feel as though you weren’t under constant surveillance (at least from him). When the daily brainstorming sessions were over, you both avoided the topic of Luke. It was still difficult to process the concept that he was still alive. It just didn’t seem real.

Taking things slow with Bucky has always been an understatement. A part of him is apprehensive, more so now than ever. There has been close to no physical contact. You truly don't know everything that he went through overseas, but it was apparent that he was still working his way through it. You had your 'boyfriend' back. Yet in a sense, you didn't. And still, his presence still left the same, if not more, desire in it's wake.

Bucky was given his own apartment within The Compound for the time being. Although there was nothing to be 'afraid' of, everyone, except yourself, felt that it was necessary to slowly ease back into his routines and not just cannonball into the deep end.

Spending time together had always been your favorite thing. But now, it was like everything was exciting and new once again. The two of you were dealing with the 'holes' Bruce had warned you about- and the dark cloud of your brother hanging over both of your heads. These said ‘holes’ were more along the lines of not remembering how you take your coffee and other small instances. He remembers you, and most of the time that you had shared.

You filled the limited free time in your days together with simplistic dates and doing things that he really took interest in. Going to the gym together, long drives with the windows down listening to music playing, but most of all... Bucky loved being in the kitchen. It was as if he had a new found passion for cooking and baking-something simplistic to lose himself in. But he wouldn't share that pastime with anyone else, feeling like he may be judged. Although, you had no complaints. There was no shortage on baked goods and even homemade bread from scratch.

Bucky is in the kitchen, covered in flour and chocolate. The clear evidence of him indulging in his guilty pleasure.

"Mmm. These are seriously the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever had." You mumble.

You didn't want to be rude by talking with your mouth full, but he eagerly watched, awaiting your reaction to his creation of the day.

"Really!?" He asks, excitedly.

Nodding your head and smiling, you go to take another bite of the cookie. Since it is still warm from recently coming out of the oven, it partially breaks- melty chocolate all over your face and hands.

There's a moment of silence- you and Bucky are looking at one another until his nose scrunches and he starts hysterically laughing. A sweet sound that I have missed for so long. It's contagious. The next thing you know, you're both laughing to the point of just wheezing. Your cheeks hurt, the place where your abs once were before he entered the baking scene, hurt. It wasn't even that funny, just one of those simplistic moments where you get to fully be yourselves. A core memory.

"You're a hot mess," Bucky says, trying to compose himself by fighting through the laughter. His cheeks are burning red. The harder he tries to subdue the laughing, the more he fails. "Come here..." He reaches for a dish towel, dampening it under the faucet of the sink before taking a few steps closer.

You abruptly stop laughing, taking in how suddenly close in proximity he is to you. Aside from the hello/goodbye awkward hugs that you look forward to just being in his arms for a moment- this is rediscovering old territory.

Your mouth opens slightly as you hold your breath, awaiting to see what he does next. Covering his thumb with the cloth, he ever so gently wipes chocolate off of your bottom lip. His eyes fasten their grip with your own, occasionally breaking contact to look down at your lips.

Kiss me. Your inner conscious is screaming, begging and pleading for him to make a move. To just be wrapped up in all that is him- to let go of the past few months and just be yourselves. You can feel your chest instinctively move closer to his- which is rising and falling deeply. Bucky's mouth opens slightly as he takes in a shuddering breath.

Yes... His eyes are now solely focused on your mouth. You impulsively bite your bottom lip, willing it into the universe for his lips to be on yours. You're met with glacier blue eyes, now looking deep within yours. You cannot help but look up at Bucky with pleading, desire filled eyes.

Please.

"I-" He starts. Time is standing still as you hang onto what he will say. "I...um-" He breaks the eye contact as he takes a step back. "I have to clean this kitchen. My OCD is getting the better of me." He nervously chuckles once.

"Oh." There is no hiding your disappointment.

Bucky grabs a nearby plate full of the cookies that he had just made.

"Here...some for you to take home." He offers, sounding hopeful that you’ll accept.

He's kicking me out. Point taken.

"Oh, okay. Well, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow?" You can only focus on the plate that he handed you, trying to hide the humiliation. Not even waiting for a response, you quickly dash out of his apartment.

Breaking into a full sprint in the hallway, your back at your own residence. Quickly shutting the door behind you and laying your back flat against it, your mind starts racing.

We will never get back to the way we were. Giving him time and space isn't enough. Maybe after all he has been through, he has moved past this relationship? Past me? But I love him. I promised I'd wait...but is he just prolonging the inevitable? Will my brother become the new thing to try and get between us? I can't just let him go... I can't. He needs to know.

In that moment you dropped the plate; The shattering muffled slightly from the softness of the cookies. You didn't care. Turning around to open the door and run back to his living quarters- professing your love and need like some girl in a romcom you would make fun of.

You swing open the door, about to dart out when you smack into something. Someone.

"Oh, sorry I-....Bucky?" Shocked is an understatement.

He's standing at your door with an anxious look on his face- still covered in flour.

"I-..." He starts. Your heart is pounding- the sound of your heartbeat swooshing in your ears.

"Fuck it." Bucky breathes as he takes a step forward. Cupping both sides of your face, hungrily pressing his lips into yours.

Immediately you liquify into the kiss. His lips taste sweet- the remanence from his all day baking. Your arms interlock behind his neck as he steps forward- pushing you backwards into your apartment without his lips leaving yours.

It doesn't matter that you clumsily stumble behind, Bucky keeps you steady by holding each side of your waist while sustaining the kiss. Once through the doorway, he uses the back of his boot to loudly kick the door closed- not caring who might see or hear.

Guiding you against the wall of the hallway, Bucky reaches behind his neck and grabs your hands to pin them on the surface above your head, his metal hand still on your hip. The assertive motion causes a chain reaction- a small whimper from your throat echoes into his mouth. Being held firmly in place, your hips hungerly try to buck up into his body, greedily needing every point of physical contact possible.

His lips break away, but only for a moment as they move down to your neck. His tongue grazes, teeth nip occasionally through the soft suction noises his mouth leaves behind. You know that you'll be marked in just a matter of time. But it is his public claim on you that you'll proudly wear.

While keeping your hands pinned against the wall, Bucky's free hand starts to explore your body; painfully gentle he traces along your side, the bottom of your stomach, between your breasts, etc. But he's being cautious. He knows how to manhandle you and this is not it. Call it selfish, but after a total of 2 months of not being with him, you want aggressive Bucky.

"Bucky..." You breathe. The sound of his name makes him stop.

His body leans more into yours- touching chest to chest, which is growing more difficult due to the heavy breathing. Pressing his forehead into yours, his vision still focused on the trail of red blotches he's left behind.

"Hmm?" He answers as he adjusts his posture slightly so that his thigh is now between your legs. If you pressed your hips down the tiniest bit against him, the evidence of just how desperate you are for him would be all over his leg.

"Don't hold back." You say softly, but confidently. Bucky's eyes blaze to yours with a look of exhilaration dancing across them.

"Don't worry..." His voice is deep, husky.

The hand that he was using to pin your arms above your head lets go- letting it gradually slip down to your jawline. He hooks your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, encouraging you to turn your head. Bucky leans in, his breath hot against your cheek.

"I'll take care of you." It comes out low, from the back of his throat. The throbbing between your legs starts to become fierce. In addition, his tongue presses flat to your cheek, licking the side of your face just once.

Using one prompt motion, Bucky is now carrying you bridal style. His lips rashly press back to yours. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel the gentle sway of him walking- the sound of his footsteps pressing down into the floor.

He sits you on the edge of the bed, getting down on his knees and hooking each of his pointer fingers into the waistband of your jeans to start shimmying them down. Lifting your feet barely off the floor to get your pants the rest of the way off, Bucky discards them and encourages you to lay back on the bed.

Still on his knees, Bucky leans in and places one velvety soft kiss on the inside of your thigh. The lack of touch for months has left you on a whole new level of sensitive. A low moan in the form of a hum reverberates in your throat. The warm air resulting from a tiny snort from him already making your legs twitch.

Hitching your knees over his shoulders, the tips of his fingers gently caress the inside of your thighs. It's almost painful how good it feels. Taking his warm pointer finger he swipes once in the middle of your folds- above the panties.

"You're already so wet for me. What a good girl." Bucky purrs.

I'm about to get absolutely fucking wrecked.

Your eyes roll back and close as your back arches, gripping the bedsheets already feeling like a volcano about to erupt just from Bucky's heated breath.

*Thwap*

The slight sting in the groin takes you by surprise. Propping yourself on your elbows, you look down to Bucky with confusion. He's gazing into your eyes and a playful smile.

"I want you to look at me." His voice is still smoky and deep.

Being so hyper focused on everything he was doing, including looking up at you from between your legs, you wouldn't even need to be touched to lose control at this point. Even just the thought of his body covering yours is sending cold shudders of ice down your spine.

Without warning, he shoves the back of your thighs so that your head is between your knees. Now kneeling on the bed, he holds you in place, leaving yourself completely exposed; propped up right to his face, occupied with a content and cunning grin.

Fuck.

With locked eyes, Bucky focuses on your face as his mouth simply presses directly on you. Allowing for you to have a small moment before he starts to work his magic. You gasp at the connection; your knees going weak as you grip onto the bedsheets underneath you.

'I want you to look at me.' His voice rings in your head. It takes every molecule in your body to hold his gaze with his head between your thighs, but you do. Just like the obedient woman that you are for him. His ridged tongue sweeps over your labia as a form of slow and delicious torture. The licking over your sensitive skin causes you to whimper- Bucky looks at you through hooded eyes as he makes a few small reverberating sounds in his throat as approval.

Moaning, you can't help but grind your hips against his face. It feels incredible. He feels incredible. The leisurely, steady, sensual motions tell you that he's enjoying this as much as you are. You're practically coming off of the bed, but Bucky holds you in place as you start panting- the sounds coming from your breath are pleading, begging for that outer body, earthshattering orgasm.

"Please," You sigh, as your hand digs and grips tightly into his hair; knowing full well that it's slightly painful but don't care. Your quiet request is received as his tongue swirls around the entrance of your core. Once, twice, three times and then you come apart.

Unsure if you are screaming his name, thrashing against him, or whatever else, as you can only see stars in the moment. There is no room for any sort of coherent thought. Spent and exhausted are an understatement as Bucky lifts his head- His eyes practically glowing as he licked the lips of his sinfully wet mouth.

"I love it when you squirm," it comes out as a purr.

He carefully lays you back down before crawling over your body like a panther, his hips pressed in and down against your own. You're pleased to find that he is already naked from the waist down, raring to go.

Bucky's hand tenderly grazes your cheek as your chest still heavily rises and falls. It isn't long until your fingertips are dragging across the hot, soft skin of his chest. His hips settle between yours and you instinctively lock a leg around them. You can feel him press against your entrance, wanting, needing to be inside of you. Now you're lasered focused on him as you wait for that sharp breath as he pushes himself in and his eyes practically roll back in his head.

"I want you to look at me," You think to yourself and completely understand the fascination in that moment.

Beginning to press inch by precious, thick inch, you're grateful for the remanence of your orgasm which helps to ease his way inside. "Fuck," he breathes out as he looks downward to watch himself enter. You smirk to yourself knowing just how tight you are and can feel your walls contracting around him, a silent invitation to bring his enormous length in deeper. Once Bucky was fully inside, down to the base, his eyelids fluttered shut for a moment as he took in the sensation. Once they opened, his gaze was sealed on yours.

Taking in a deep breath in unison, he waits as you become accustomed to stretching around him. His hips wriggle the tiniest bit before he pulls back and shallowly thrusts in once; The sound escaping from his lips makes every single nerve ending in your body light up. You suck in a sharp breath as he finds his rhythm, his pubic bone teasing your clit with every push. The smallest adjustment and he is now inclined so that each ridge can brush against your g-spot with every stroke. Forward and back. Forward and back.

Bucky almost growls as you claw at his back and practically scream in pleasure. Your lips mesh against his bicep, stifling your moans ever so slightly. You come again. And again. He relentlessly keeps the same pace, your body shuddering under his to the point that your mouth is wide open but no noise is coming out. You start to feel the familiar pulsing inside you, filling you. It's warm; a few degrees hotter than his body pressed against yours. His fingers dig into your hips as he thrusts harder, coming over and over again, (which you didn't even think was possible).

He collapses on top of you like a weighted blanket as he tries to level his breathing. Bucky's body continues to tremble against yours. A moment later he shifts his weight to lay next to you. Placing a kiss against your temple, Bucky pulls you in close against him; The coolness from his metal arm almost bites at the beads of sweat across your skin. The familiarity of his body spooning into yours is so comforting that you drift to sleep.

During the night you stir, reaching for Bucky on the other side of the bed to only be met with cold sheets. He's gone. Your heart drops to your stomach as you sit up, holding the blanket up to your chest to cover yourself as you stare at the emptiness beside you.

Maybe it was too fast.

Something catches your attention out of your peripheral vision. You quickly look to the corner of your room, which is especially dark for the time of night. You squint, seeing something- But unable to make out what it is. Though, your stomach jumps in excitement.

"Bucky?" You ask, sounding almost too hopeful. As your eyes adjust to the bold darkness, you can see his silhouette in the corner. But he doesn't move. It doesn't even look like he's breathing. He sits so completely still that it's... terrifying.

"Bucky...?" Calling his name softly, you realize that this might be one of those moments you had been warned about. Your mind is racing and blank at the same time as you reach for scenarios and resolutions- but come up with nothing.

Until...

You clear your throat softly, pulling yourself into a sitting fetal position. Why of all things this came to mind, you have no idea. You're hoping, praying that you are wrong. You cringe as the word slips out.

"Soldat?"

"Ya gotov otvechet." Ready to comply.

Fuck.

@peaches1958 @aquabrie @elsie-bells @pono-pura-vida @redbloodedgurl @almosttoopizza @beware-my-thorns @prettylittlepluviophile @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @calwitch @ozwriterchick @roofwitty779 @lessersole @lil-darhk @agoddoesnotplead @saranghaey @floralwsloki @erinallene @fafafalafel @mrsvxder @elizabeth916 @winterassisin84 @cjand10

[kazumist]

EXTRA 1 ♡ ONLY FOR ME TO KNOW

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

masterpost / wc: 669. / takes place after episode 5

it wasn't the first time that kunikuzushi took care of you while you were sick.

he had done this plenty of times. after all, you sometimes had moments where you'd neglect your health for your studies, just like today. and whenever that happened, kunikuzushi would always be by your side, taking care of you to the best of his abilities.

no wonder this feels like some sort of deja vu to him.

he hasn't taken care of you for months (a lie; even after you broke up, kunikuzushi would find himself taking care of you all the same). it's sickening how, even after everything, kunikuzushi couldn’t bring himself to stop. call it self-sabotage or whatever the fuck you'd call it, but he just can't bring himself to break out of the habit of caring for you.

then again, you guys decided to stay as friends, right? it was merely implied since neither of you decided to leave the circle you both have now. and things would get messy if one of you left anyway—neither of you wanted that either. especially when it's just because of something personal between you both.

laying you down on his bed, kunikuzushi checked your temperature again.

38.3. you still have a fever. kunikuzushi didn't hesitate and started to prepare the necessary things he'd be needing to speed up your recovery.

-

when kunikuzushi was about to leave his room so that you could rest on your own, he felt a weak grip on his clothes. “kuni…?” you called out to him, your voice a bit hoarse.

“hm?” he hums in reply.

“where are you going?”

“the living room so that you could rest more easily," he says, gently grabbing your hand that held his clothes and laying it down on his bed.

“stay here, please?”

there was a brief pause.

he's probably going to regret this—that’s what kunikuzushi always thinks when he gets faced with these situations. he's probably going to regret this, regretting that he could never say no to you. but if he learned to say no, would he still be able to keep you in his life?

“okay.”

he sits down on the edge of his bed, staring at your features. there's a hint of nostalgia in his eyes; his mind is unintentionally replaying the other times kunikuzushi had to take care of you while you were sick.

after a few minutes of silence, you were already sleeping again. “are you asleep?” he asks the obvious. no answer. he takes this as a chance.

“i hope you know that i don't really mean what i say. i also hope you know that i still push your buttons because i love you. whether it's the same love that we shared back then or not, that's only for me to know," he says, taking advantage of your sleeping state to open up.

he continues, a hand reaching out and starting to play with your hair. “your reason was perfectly understandable. but i wish we didn't end on such good terms.”

“because if we didn't, maybe it would hurt us less.”

a pause. “i remember you asking me back then if it was actually possible to love someone with all your heart. i didn't believe it, of course. but you insisted that it was possible and that it would apply to us soon enough.”

“now? maybe you were right. how ironic that it would only start to apply when we're already over.”

kunikuzushi takes a deep breath. “i never really mean what i say; you of all people should know that by heart. but i do mean it when i say that i miss you. especially when i say that i love you.”

“i know that if you're awake right now, you'd probably call me corny and proceed to playfully roll your eyes at me, but i’m serious. i hope you know that.”

“and i hope that if time allows it, i would still have a chance.”

“i love you, forever and always. get well soon.”

taglist (open): @yinyinggie @blue-b3rries @ryuryuryuyurboat @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @lilikags @haliyamori @diorlumx @mamafly @zuunotsane @iloveosamuu @featuredtofu @kana-de @xiaoderrrr @f1orent1ne @alhaitie @yelleloww @brain-r0tt @jamieexistss @danfelions @e0nssadrift @lovemari @kunikissr @chluuvr @lazy-sanns @lxkeeeee @swivy123 @sketcheeee @quacking-simp @tiredslepz @vxcmx @kichiy0shi @yingofthemoon @feiherp @sicut-sol @mayuumine @xiaosoneandonly @xtobefreex @bananasquash @im-the-ruler-here @hiraethhv @yumiaur @oughhhhmamamia @beriiov @cindywasneverhere @klanxii @fangygf @draclula @aromaticism @shotosjupiter @lyzisbitchingagain @lovelykrystal @riraaya @aether-darling

[ask-thelyricist]

Dear, Jack

Sorry I haven't been writing much. My unit has been moving around a lot. Who knew RCAF would move around so much? Well...actually...

I'm doing fine, and made some friends in the force. My nickname is "Mouse". Can't say I'm fond of that, but at least I'm part of the gang now.

Good news and bad news:

Good news is that I made it through my second battle.

Bad news is, my plane got hit.

I'm fine, and so is my co-pilot. However, I'm still stuck in the hospital. Due to policy reasons, I can't tell you where I am, but I can tell you that I'm making an alright recovery. Good thing I have a thick head, eh?

But no seriously, I hit my head on the windshield during the impact. It still hurts and I can still weirdly smell smoke.

Other good news is, since I survived the crash, the guys around here are actually starting to respect me.

Maybe I should get shot out of the sky more.

Felix (co-pilot) says "hi". His room is next to mine and he won't shut up about his new lady.

Anyways, How are you doing? How's the studio? Any new tunes to share? The guys here are a fan of your music (I shared those music sheets you sent me, hope you don't mind).

In all seriousness....

I'm... scared for surgery. Among other things.

Yours truly,

Hudson

(Sorry wanted to write a letter that was if Hudson went to war, because why not :3)

Hudson,

Thanks for writing, buddy! Things get busy real fast, especially for you, I’d imagine; but it’s nice that you’re making friends.

I hope your recovery is going well, we certainly can’t lose you yet. Preferably no time so But at least you got something out of it, heh.! Seriously though, stay safe. Do what the doctors tell you and whatnot.

Work’s been about the same on my end. I think you were right about all that bankruptcy stuff, Joey’s gotten more and more frantic over the weeks. Sammy won’t talk to me about what’s wrong.

But I found my bow on my desk when I came in yesterday. It’d been missing for a few days, I think he might’ve gotten it repaired for me. Maybe some sort of apology. Whatever it was, my fiddle’s never sounded better, so I’ll take it!

On the subject of music, I’m glad you guys liked the music I sent in! I attached a record of me and Sam’s newest piece, it features Ms. Pendle. Really hope it doesn’t get broken on the way… Hope you guys enjoy this one, even if it’s not our best.

Keep me updated as best you can! I’ll always be here to reply!

Lyricist and wit,

Jack Fain

[ironstrange1991]

Forbidden (Part 5)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Stark throws a party to celebrate the mission's return and Y/n decides it's time to tell Stephen the truth.

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: Descriptions of one single sexual act (almost nothing)

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, but I always have the feeling that when it comes to this series I'm writing more for myself than anyone else. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. The ending is a bit silly, but I couldn't help it and I actually found it funny.

SERIES MASTERLIST

"Take Romanoff to the medical wing" Stark ordered as soon as they set foot in the Tower "Bruce, go with her. Let me know if there are any changes".

Bruce accompanied Barton and Steve who were carrying Romanoff on a makeshift stretcher. They disappeared into the elevator.

"Is she going to be okay?" Stark asked turning around and facing Stephen. Stephen nodded "The injuries are serious, but as far as I could examine there was no neurological damage. With proper care she should be fine, but I doubt she'll be back to work anytime soon."

Tony sighed heavily putting a hand to his face and then looked around "For a moment I thought I would never come home."

Thor patted him on the shoulder "Good job, Stark."

"If you'll excuse me I'm going to take a shower and sleep for three nights straight" Sam said waving to Stephen "See you around, Doctor."

Stephen just shook his head. He was supposed to go back to the Sanctum, but he was still standing there waiting to see you. During all that unbearable mission he could only think of you. How he wanted to come home and see you smiling at him.

"If it's not to much to ask, Doctor, I need to get back to New Asgard." Thor said and then turned to Stark, "Keep me posted on Romanoff's recovery."

"So you have a computer now?" Stephen asked wryly.

Thor smirked "Better than that, I have a phone in my house."

Stephen rolled his eyes "Yeah, right. Super modern." He moved his fingers opening a portal "Have a nice day."

Thor walked through the portal and then looked back, "Don't forget to invite me to the party, Stark."

Tony nodded and the portal closed. He patted Stephen on the chest "You did really well there, you know, with all that magic. It was quite useful."

Stephen rolled his eyes "You didn't do too badly either."

Tony grinned "See, I said we make a good team. The mechanic and the magician" Tony said pretending to write in the air.

"We both know we're neither of those things." Stephen answered dryly and Tony glared at him and was ready to respond with something intelligent when Y/n turned the corner and ran towards them. Stephen's heart sped up when her eyes focused on him and for a millisecond he thought she would hug him, but then she hugged Stark who squeezed her in his arms lifting her off the ground.

Stephen swallowed thickly. There was something in his chest that he wasn't quite sure what it was, but it wasn't pleasant.

"You're here" Your voice sounded choked with the tears you were trying to hold back, but tears were streaming down your face as you cupped Stark's face turning it to one side and then the other "Are you okay? Tell me you're okay! " You grabbed his arms and kept looking to check for injuries.

"I'm fine, darling." And then you broke down in a desperate cry and Tony went back to hug you now stroking your hair and shushing you "I'm sorry, I tried to communicate with you..."

Jealousy. Stephen was feeling jealous. For some reason he wondered if for a moment you had missed him, or if you had worried that he might get hurt too, but you only had eyes for Stark and it was unreasonable to bother with that, but he was bothered.

He cleared his throat to remind you he was still there and then spoke in a voice more husky than he'd expected, "Well, I need to go back to the Sanctum. Call me for updates on Romanoff, Stark."

You stepped away from Stark wiping the tears with your hands "Doctor Strange... I'm sorry, I... Are you okay? America was so worried! She called me every day asking about you."

Stephen smiled. Apparently next to Stark he was Doctor Strange to you and not just Stephen. Interesting. "I'm fine. Thanks for keeping an eye on her while I was gone."

You nodded "I didn't really do much. She stayed most of the time at Kamar Taj. Wong was keeping her almost like a prisoner." You gave him a shy smile which made his heart jump in his chest. Stephen chuckled "Poor thing. Anyway, I need to go now."

You nodded and then frowned "Where's Nat?" It was Stark who replied "She got hurt… badly."

Stephen saw the horror in your face. "Where is she?"

"She's with Banner in the medical wing, there's a whole team of doctors taking care of her and besides, the doctor here said she's going to be fine, so it's bad, but no need to worry."

You exhaled heavily and then addressed him "Did you examine her?"

Stephen nodded "As far as I could with the few resources I had. She will be fine now."

You nodded "It was good to see you Doctor Strange." Stephen shook his head and opened a portal to the Sanctum.

"I'll keep you posted, Doctor." Stark said.

"Good." Stephen replied crossing the portal.

"You're coming to the party, aren't you?"

You glared at Tony "Party?"

Tony nodded "A victory like that deserves to be celebrated with a big party."

You looked at Stephen anxiously for his answer and he gave you his best smirk. "I wouldn't miss a Stark party." And just as he knew you would, you blushed and gave him that open smile he was dying to see again.

...

Natasha had two surgeries that afternoon. One to stop the internal bleeding in her abdomen and one to place two titanium screws in her knee. The doctors ran tests to check that everything was fine with her head, but just like Stephen said, everything was fine. When she finally went to one of the rooms in the Tower's medical wing you made a point of staying by her side until she woke up which didn't happen until 2am.

"Fuck...that hurts." It was the first thing she said. You got up immediately. She glared at you then smiled "Good to see you, Crazy."

You smiled back "Welcome back."

"Uh hm. Water... I need water."

You helped her drink from the cup and then gently hugged her "I missed you, Nat. Then you came back and scared me to death. Two surgeries!"

She gave a small laugh and then groaned in pain "You know I'm dramatic. Why go through one surgery when I can go through two. Besides, guys love it when women are in danger. I bet Bruce was here all day ."

You chuckled "You're right. He barely left your side."

She smiled "See, I'm always right."

You sat down on the bed next to her "Tony said things were really bad out there."

You watched Nat's face darken with some traumatizing memory and you rushed to say "We don't need to talk about this if you don't want to. There's so much I want to talk to you about."

She stared at you for a long moment and then smirked "Tell me it's not about Doctor Strange."

You looked at her slightly offended "Of course not. Do you really think I spent these three weeks thinking about him?"

She sighed "It is about Doctor Strange. Okay, spit it out. I hope there's something new this time, because honestly, it's getting pathetic, Y/n"

You looked at her slightly offended, but decided to let it go "He said he likes me."

Her eyes widened and you continued "And he took me to lunch the day you left for the mission."

Nat opened her mouth to speak a few times and then closed it again.

"I know you think he's too old for me, but I don't care, Nat."

"What about Tony? He cares."

You did not answer.

She sighed "Look, Strange is a nice guy. A bit arrogant, but he's a nice guy and if you like him I'll support you. But, Y/n, proceed with caution, please. Remember, he is more than twice your age, maybe you two want different things from each other and I don't want you to get hurt and I won't answer for my actions if that happens."

You nodded holding her hand "You're like the sister I never had, you know that, don't you?"

She nodded "I will always support you no matter what you do. Just don't kill anyone."

"Why not? You're the person I would call and ask for help to hide the body."

Nat giggled and then grimaced placing her hand on her abdomen. "Fuck, Y/n, I can't laugh right now, it hurts."

"Sorry" You squeezed her hand "Just... support me on this Nat. I really like him."

She sighed "Trust me, I know."

You stayed there with Nat four hours. You couldn't leave her alone. You talked about anything and everything that had nothing to do with the mission. Apparently, whatever had happened, it wasn't something Natasha wanted to think about.

It the sun was rising when you were interrupted by a knock on the door and Yelena came in "Hey, Y/n. I came to see if Nat... Hi, you're awake finally."

She approached and you took the opportunity to say goodbye "Well, I will leave you with Yelena, Nat. Need to try to get some sleep."

She smiled. “See you.”

"How are you feeling?" You heard Yelena ask before leaving and closing the door behind you.

...

HOW IS ROMANOFF?

You stared at the phone's screen for a minute trying to make your mind understand that the message was really from Stephen. It had been two weeks since they had returned from the mission and Natasha was progressing very well although she had to use crutches which she was hating.

You finally managed to type an answer that was actually another question.

MAY I KNOW HOW YOU GOT MY NUMBER?

You bit your bottom lip waiting for him to respond.

I KIDNAPPED AMERICA'S PHONE AND MEMORIZED IT.

You couldn't tell exactly what expressions you were making as you stared at your phone, but something about your face caught Natasha and Yelena's attention. The three of you were in the lounge on the Tower's hosting floor talking and basically killing time as you watched Tony and Pepper argue over who to invite to the party Tony was keen to throw even though Nat was still recovering.

He went back to typing.

SO, HOW IS SHE?

You typed a quick reply trying to hide your excitement as Tony and Pepper approached.

SHE'S FINE, SHE'S RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME, ACTUALLY.

"Romanoff looks great, look at her!" You heard Tony saying and Pepper replied "I think we should wait another week or two."

Tony crossed his arms "It's a victory party, if we wait too long we'll be off on another mission."

Nat tsked "Speak for yourself, I'm off the radar for new missions for the next three months at least."

I MISS YOU.

You smiled from ear to ear feeling your face heat up.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN INVITE ME TO DINNER ANYTIME.

"Y/n, I'm talking to you. I need your help here!" You heard Tony saying and reluctantly looked up from your phone.

"Yeah, of course. You're right" You mumbled turning your attention to Stephen's answer.

YES I KNOW. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

You were about to answer when Tony stopped in front of you "May I know who you are talking to? Who is more important than me?"

Nat and Yelena started to giggle and Tony glared at both of them and then you "Is there something going on that I don't know about?"

Pepper stared at you for a long moment and then changed the subject "Okay Tony you want to have the party let's have the party. Is that okay, Nat?"

Nat shook her head "Are you really going to make me wear a dress with this horrible thing on my leg?"

Tony chuckled "You look great either way Romanoff, plus I'm sure Bruce doesn't mind."

You weren't paying enough attention to know what Nat replied. Your face was hot and you were still processing Stephen's messages. Was he really flirting with you?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

You waited for his answer that came right away.

YOUR GODFATHER PROMISED ME A PARTY. I WAS WAITING TO SEE YOU THERE.

You turned your attention to Tony "So when's the party?"

He stared at Pepper waiting for an answer.

Pepper sighed "If I can organize everything it will be this Saturday."

You couldn't  contain the wide smile that took over your face.

LOOKS LIKE I'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY THEN.

He quickly typed a reply.

EXCELLENT. I HAVE TO GO NOW, SWEETHEART. DUTY IS CALLING.

The pet name. That pet name never failed to draw a breath out of you.

SEE YOU, DOCTOR

You closed your cell phone screen and threw it on the couch next to you. Tony and Pepper had walked away still working out the details of the party and Nat and Yelena were staring at you curiously.

"So..." Nat finally asked.

You grinned "I need to buy a dress. A really, really gorgeous dress."

Yelena smiled “I think I can help you with that."

...

You were standing there looking in the mirror and wondering if the dress you chose wasn't a little too much. It was a strapless red dress with a heart cutout at the neckline. It was short and flared with a black bow cinching the waist. That dress combined with your hair tied in a ponytail, a diamond necklace and your tattoos seemed too much.

You sighed hearing the cell phone vibrate and walked away from the mirror. Anyway, now it was too late to choose another dress.

You read the message on your cell phone, it was from America.

WE ARE LATE. WE HAVE JUST ARRIVED FROM KAMAR TAJ AND STEPHEN LOOKS LIKE HE IS GETTING READY FOR A WEDDING. BUT WE WILL BE THERE SOON.

You smiled from ear to ear. You couldn't wait to see him. You responded with a smiley emoji and then nodded to yourself as if trying to encourage yourself and then went downstairs.

The hall was full, the music was loud. There were people there that you had no idea who they were. Some must have been Stark Industries shareholders, others were probably magazine columnists, journalists, in short, everyone Tony liked to invite to stay on the covers of magazines.

You walked between the tables getting too many stares which made you question again if you hadn't gone too far with the choice of your dress. Fortunately, you bumped into Thor, the first known face, who hugged you tight, taking all your worries out of your head.

"Hey, it's good to see you. You look beautiful!"

You smiled looking up to actually look at his face "You too"

He grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you towards the table where he was sitting with Steve, Sam and Bruce. "This girl..." Thor said pointing at you and the three of them  stared at you "She would be a queen in Asgard."

You stared blankly at Thor and then he took a sip from his cup and went back to saying "Singing is important to the Asgardians."

Sam nodded "Will you sing for us tonight Y/n?"

You shook your head "Not really."

Bruce disagreed "Tony rented a karaoke machine, he intends to get everyone singing tonight."

You chuckled "I'm going to love to hear you boys singing."

Steve chuckled shyly and then took a good look at you "Looking really pretty Y/n, expecting someone?"

You felt your face get hot. Was it that obvious?

"Are your friends from the band coming? Mike, that's the guy's name, right?" Sam asked "He seems to like you."

You shook your head feeling the air leave your lungs slowly. "I didn't actually invite them. No work tonight, just fun."

"And what kind of fun are we talking about?" Sharon asked approaching with Maria Hill right behind her. The two had apparently only left to fetch their drinks from the bar. Sharon sat next to Steve and you watched as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Such an intimate gesture in front of everyone. You wondered if it would ever be possible for you and Stephen to have that kind of intimacy. That is, of course, if he was really interested. You couldn’t really tell.

"So what were you talking about?" Maria asked sipping her drink and you shrugged "Thor was complimenting my singing skills"

"She's amazing" Thor said again and Hill agreed "Your show at the last party was amazing, Y/n. I'm addicted to your songs." Hill completed.

"I'm following you on Spotify" Sharon said "And I want to go to one of your shows. Steve knows that, I'm trying to convince him to take me."

Steve chuckled "Loud music and night clubs aren't really my style, but we'll definitely go."

You grinned "Well, let's set a date then."

...

You were extremely bored and couldn't stop looking at the time on your cell phone display.

You were sitting at the table with Pepper, Tony, Rhodes, Happy and Fury listening to them talk about the mission and about a new mission that Fury wanted Tony and Steve to lead, this one apparently would be on Russian territory and Fury was really disappointed because Natasha would not be able to go with them.

You kept scanning the room with your eyes looking for Stephen and Pepper seemed to sense your uneasiness because she couldn't take her eyes off you.

You had been surprised to see Fury at Tony's party, he never attended social events, but then you understood. He was there on a mission of his own, ready to deliver new work to those he considered to be the leaders of the Avengers.

After a while you could see that Pepper was uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, but you weren’t paying attention to what they were saying because your eyes were fixed on the entrance of the hall, waiting to see Stephen who at that time should have already arrived. Deep down you feared that something had happened and he wouldn't come anymore.

"I thought Ms. Y/l/n would eventually become an Avenger as well, but it looks like she chose a more glamorous side of life." Fury said trying to get your attention.

You smiled at the old man "Unfortunately I don't have super powers, Director Fury, and I'm also too clumsy to fight like Nat or Agent Hill. If you saw me working out you'd be embarrassed"

He let out a rare chuckle, "Well, I'm sure you'd do well in one of your godfather's suits. Mrs. Potts wears hers on special occasions."

Pepper shook her head as she sipped from her cup, "It was a one time thing, Fury, and I swear I won't do it again."

"There is a prototype armor for Y/n, I'm still working on it." Tony said proudly.

You chuckled "I've already told Tony he doesn't have to bother because I'm not going to use it. I prefer my books and my music. Someone need to be ordinary in this family."

Tony shook his head "There's nothing ordinary about you darling, you're amazing" He put his arm around your shoulders and placed a small kiss on your cheek and only then did he really seem to look at you "That boy Mike, he's coming by tonight?"

You shook your head, feeling your face heat up when you realized that he made an association between your dress and a possible love interest.

"I didn't invite the band." You admitted.

"Why didn't you invite them? Mike seems like a nice kid, I think he likes you."

You were about to answer when you saw Stephen and America entering the hall and suddenly the words disappeared from your mind.

America looked beautiful in a cute pink dress, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, but your attention was riveted on the sorcerer dressed in one of the many Armani suits he owned.

"Y/n?" Tony was still waiting for your answer and you had to reluctantly look away from Stephen.

"Tony, Mike and I have nothing to do with each other."

"You needed to see the answer she gave the boy when he asked her out." Happy told laughing and you stared at him, glaring daggers.

"He's too young. And too stupid." You defended yourself.

"He must be what? 25 years old? Not that much younger." Rhodes said, deciding to intrude on the conversation. That was actually the problem with practically being raised in that Tower, all the Avengers felt that they were somehow responsible for you and therefore couldn’t mind their own business."

"I think I like older men." You said feeling a little brave, your eyes went back to looking for Stephen in the hall finding him standing next to Steve's table talking and as he rarely did laughing.

"You're too young to say something like that." Tony said scolding you "Besides, Mike is older than you, he likes the same things you like..."

You sighed in frustration "You forgot I just mentioned he's stupid."

"Y/n, you're exaggerating. The boy is hardworking. He studies, works in the band..."

"Tony, it's never going to happen, okay? Can we change the subject now?" You said looking back at Stephen from a distance and feeling Pepper's eyes fixed on you. When you dared to look at her, she was looking in the same direction as you, brow furrowed with concern, but you couldn't care less and as soon as you watched Stephen heading alone to the bar you stood up "If you'll excuse me."

...

Stephen scanned the crowded room with his eyes looking for you as soon as he and America set foot there. It didn't take long for him to see you sitting at the table with Stark, Rhodes, Pepper, Happy and director Fury. Stark had an arm around your shoulder.

"Tony's parties are always so amazing." America said envisioned with all the extravagance that Stephen was already used to, but which for her was incredible.

"Are we calling him Tony yet?" He asked staring at her with an arched eyebrow.

She just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hey Doctor, come over here." Came Thor's booming voice.

The two walked to a table further away on the left side of the room where Rogers, Carter, Wilson, Hill, Thor and Banner were.

"Nice to see you, doctor" Steve greeted him.

"How is Romanoff?" He asked and it was Banner who answered. "She's much better." Stephen couldn't help but notice the tone of relief in the man's voice. If it wasn't clear to Natasha, it was clear enough to everybody else that Bruce was in love with her.

"She's not too happy about the idea of ​​using crutches, but she should be down soon." Sharon Carter completed.

"What about you, little girl, how is life in a new universe?" Hill asked and America grinned.

"It's great. I like it here, all the differences are fascinating and Kamar Taj is so cool. It would be even cooler if Wong and Stephen weren't so bossy."

Everyone at the table laughed and Stephen confined himself to a smile, his eyes back on the table where you were. God, you were beautiful. Actually beautiful was an understatement. You wore a red dress that he couldn't see well from that distance, but your hair was tied back in a ponytail which was different from what Stephen was used to. He loved your air, but this way it was possible to see more of your beautiful face...

"Strange...?"

Stephen turned his attention to Steve who had asked a question to which Stephen paid no attention. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

America had sat down next to Maria Hill and the two had engaged in a conversation about how in one of the universes she had visited, people were made of ink.

"I asked how it feels to take a trip to another universe."

Stephen chuckled dryly "Not a good experience."

"He threw up." America said and Thor laughed exaggeratedly. "You humans are so fragile."

Stephen shook his head "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get something to drink."

He walked towards the bar and asked for a shot of whiskey which he drank in one gulp and asked for another right after.

There was an internal struggle in Stephen ever since he had lunch with you before the mission. He was trying to convince himself that he shouldn't continue this flirtation, that it would inevitably lead to trouble once Stark realized what was happening. But on the other hand, he was tempted to take it further and find out how far you would go.

He downed his whiskey in one gulp and asked for a third. Double, no ice.

That afternoon you had challenged him by asking if he was aware that despite being Tony Stark's goddaughter, you were a legal adult and he was very much aware of that, he just didn't know what to do with it, how to proceed.

He wanted you, that was as clear to him as day, but the consequences seemed too grave.

He was too absorbed in his own thoughts to notice that you had approached.

"You look lonely. Need some company, doctor?"

He smiled and turned to look at you and his heart skiped a beat. Holy fuck, you looked beyond beautiful, you looked indecently sexy in that red dress. It was definitely too short in Stephen's eyes. He caught himself wondering how Stark let you walk around dressed like that.

The color suited you, not to mention it highlighted your tattoos. Stephen never liked tattoos, but on you he did. There were so many. Spread across your arms, your legs. One he was particularly fond of was a chest piece. A bluebird trapped in a cage trying to escape. He wondered if that was how you saw yourself.

"Stephen... you're staring." You said and then addressed the bartender. "A martini for me, please. And another whiskey for the doctor."

"I'm sorry... I got distracted by all this" He said gesturing to you. You blushed looking down at your dress.

"Is it too much? I thought you might like it." You said accepting the drink and taking a long gulp.

"Your whiskey, sir." Stephen accepted and turned his attention to you.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. It was meant to be a compliment. You look beautiful, Y/n."

You smiled charmingly at him. "I got it right then. It's hard to know what you like, Stephen."

He had to convince himself that he heard you right. You were really saying that you dressed like that for him. If that didn't answer his doubts about your true intentions, he couldn't say what would.

"Red suits you. It highlights your eyes, your hair and your tattoos."

You shook your head vehemently "I thought so. You look very handsome too, Stephen. As much as I love to see you in your robes, I have to say, you look much better in Armani. Almost irresistible."

He chuckled taking a long drink of his whiskey and feeling the alcohol starting to kick in.

"I didn't get a chance to say how happy I am that you're okay. I was so worried." You said looking away from him. Somehow you could flirt with him naturally, but you couldn't look him in the eye and tell him you liked him enough to be concerned when he went on a mission.

"I thought about you, Y/n, the whole time I was there." He admitted. "I knew I needed to go back because I needed to see you again. It was all I could think about."

You smiled, your cheeks turning pink. "You say these things, but you still haven't asked me out to dinner."

He smirked finishing his whiskey and too impatiently, filled the glass with a wave of his fingers. He looked around subtly "Is this what you want?"

"Well, Doctor, I'm more interested at the moment in knowing what you want. You are a mystery to me."

He touched your hand that was on  the top of the counter "Would it be too obvious if we left here and went somewhere quieter?"

You looked at him in surprise, but nodded in agreement "Not if I go first."

He nodded as he watched you walk away. God, that dress was doing things to him. He drank the rest of the whiskey, put the glass on the counter and walked out after you. He should have thought that in fact it was pretty obvious to anyone who could eventually be paying attention to the two of you, but he couldn't care less at that point. Maybe it was the alcohol that had made him so reckless.

You took the elevator and went up to the tower's hosting floor. Tony Stark could be irritating, but Stephen couldn't deny that he was extremely generous. There lived most of the Avengers who made the team their family. Those who didn't live there, lived in the compound in the country side of the city.

Stephen watched you turn on the lights and flop down on the huge sofa in the center of the room.

"Much better, don't you think?" You asked kicking off the extremely high heels you were wearing and putting your feet up on the sofa, making yourself comfortable. You could still hear the music coming from the lower floor.

"Yes. I used to like parties, but that was a long time ago." He said putting both hands in his pockets. He continued to stand, resisting the urge to sit down next to you.

"But you've been coming to Tony's parties a lot recently, for someone who doesn't like parties it's a little contradictory."

He smirked knowing full well what you were suggesting. He knew you wanted to hear him say it. He walked slowly towards the black grand piano that stood beside the panoramic window. The view of the city lights from that height was truly breathtaking. "You know damn well why I've been coming to your godfather’s parties." He said sitting down on the stool in front of the piano.

"I don't know anything, Stephen. And I'm getting tired of not knowing."

He nodded opening the lid and touching the piano keys gently. "I used to play the piano before the accident. I could still play if I wanted to, but I don't see much truth in having to use magic to do anything at all."

Stephen could hide it from himself all he wanted, but he could never really come to terms with the damage of his hands and how it completely changed his life. He was still ashamed of the scars, for that reason he used to keep his hands in his pockets when he was around you. And also because he could control himself better that way when all he wanted was to touch you.

"I would love to hear you play. What would you play for me?" You rested your cheek adorably on your hand watching him as if he were the most important thing in the world to you and Stephen felt his heart racing in his chest.

"Love is blindness" He replied without putting much thought into it. Maybe it was because he had been listening to that song on repeat for a few days now because it made him think of you.

"Jack White's song?" You asked sounding surprised. He shook his head closing the piano again and getting up "U2's song. Bono wrote it in 1990 and it was released in 1991 on the Achtung Baby album. Jack White covered it at the request of The Edge in 2011".

You looked surprised "I didn't know that. I always thought it was Jack White’s song."

"There's a lot you don't know, apparently." He said teasing you. He sat down on the sofa, careful to keep a safe distance, but as soon as he sat down, you crawled closer to him.

"I love knowing about these things and you seem to like U2."

He smiled "A lot. You don't like them?"

You grimaced "Not much. But to be fair, I never stopped to listen to their music. Only One, With or Without you and Beautiful Day."

Stephen rolled his eyes exaggeratedly "You have no idea what you're missing." He reached out to touch your hand that laid lazily on your thigh. "Promise me you'll listen carefully and then tell me what you think."

"Recommend me a song, then. It can't be Love is blindness because I already know that one."

Stephen smirked "Let's stick to the same album at least. I want you to listen to Ultraviolet and think of me while you do it, because I think of you when I'm listening to it."

You bit your lower lip "Anything for you, doctor."

...

You turned your hand over and Stephen laced his fingers through yours. You were surprised by his boldness, but you were totally determined to play along to see how far he would go. More than that, maybe you'd give him a little push. You had promised MJ and yourself that this would be the night you finally told him how you felt. The timing couldn't be more perfect.

Suddenly the air seemed thicker, your heart was pounding and you could hear it pounding in your ears.

"Stephen..."

He threatened to pull his hand away from yours, but you wrapped your other hand above his to keep it there.

"There's something I need to tell you. It's been a long time, I should have said it already."

He stared at you with those blue eyes waiting for what you had to say and the words just seemed to slip out of your head. Everything you had rehearsed tirelessly in front of the mirror while wearing that ridiculous dress just disappeared.

"Y/n..."

You shushed him "Please, let me talk. You can do whatever you want after, you can laugh, you can walk away, but first let me say it."

"Why would I laugh?"

You bit the inside of your cheek.

"Stephen I'm in love with you. If I haven't made it too obvious yet, I'm saying it now. I was always in love with you, even before the blip. I was too young to understand how problematic that was and then you disappeared for five years, but I never stopped thinking about you. The day you came back was the happiest of my life and I promised myself that having you around would be enough, but it's not enough."

You sighed heavily "I'm tired of this fruitless flirting, I want more than this and I think you want it too. It's not possible that I got it all wrong, I'm not that stupid..."

"You didn't get it wrong" He comfirmed.

You exhaled heavily only then realizing you were holding your breath. You kept your head down because you couldn't look at him. Your cheeks were on fire.

He touched your face, cupping your cheek and making you look at him.

"I thought I made it clear that I have feelings for you the night I saved you at the night club, young lady."

You shook your head negatively. "You said you liked me, then the other day you said you liked me as a friend..."

"I already explained myself about that. America and Wong were there and I was scared, Y/n." He tried to reason. "Do you understand how complicated this is? I'm more than twice your age and your godfather is the fucking Tony Stark."

You shook your head "I know, but I don't care. I'm an adult, I can make my own choices, Stephen."

He stroked your cheek with his thumb. "I know. That's why I'm here."

That was going better than you thought. Wasn't? At least he hadn't laughed, and it didn't look like he was going to walk away.

"So?" You asked impatiently.

He sighed taking one of your hands that held his and brought it to his lips. He kissed your hand lingeringly and then placed it on his face and leaned towards it closing his eyes for a second and sighing. You could have sworn you would melt right there, it was obscenely sweet.

"I have an idea or two, but I want to hear you say it first." He said staring at you with a cocky smile in his face.

You pulled your hand away and hugged your knees "I just said so."

"Say it again. If I'm going to pick this fight with all the Avengers, I want to make sure I heard what you said correctly."

You bit your bottom lip and sighed heavily turning around and dragging yourself impossibly close to him. Then you held both of his hands and looked into his eyes "I'm in love with you Doctor Strange. I always have been." You rolled your eyes "Is it good now? Was it dramatic enough?"

He gave a small giggle "Dramatic? Yes. But not quite enough yet." He brought his hand to the back of your neck and pulled you close until your lips were brushing against each other.

"I've wanted to do this for so long, sweetheart." He whispered and then he kissed you. Just a touch of lips. Soft and sweet. He pulled away analyzing your reaction. "Now is enough." he whispered.

But you weren't sure if that was enough. Not when you've waited so long for this. "No. Do it again, but like you mean it this time."

He gave you a cocky smile and then went back to kiss you and as soon as you parted your lips for him, his tongue entered your mouth dominating yours, deepening the kiss that had the sinful taste of whiskey. You moaned softly surrendering to the kiss and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. His hand went down to your back pulling you closer to him, your breasts brushing his chest and you felt like your whole body was on fire. Everything seemed like a dream, one of your many fantasies of before going to sleep.

...

It was certain that Stephen had completely lost his judgment. Little did he realize that you were literally in the living room of the Avengers Tower and that anyone could walk in there and catch you kissing. At that moment anything other than you didn't seem to matter to him.

He'd waited for this for so long, convinced it would never happen, yet here you were and Stephen could feel his body responding to you and manifesting itself in a prominent erection that the suit pants he was wearing could do little to disguise.

You were the one who broke the kiss first to breathe, but Stephen wasn't ready to take his lips off you. He ran them down your chin and down your neck. You smelled so good. Whatever perfume you were wearing, it was Stephen's favorite scent now. He felt your hand gripping his hair, the other going down his chest and if he hadn't drunk a little too much maybe he would have noticed how quickly your first kiss was becoming too heated, but in the drunken state he was in, all he could think of was that he wanted you.

He wanted to know the way you tasted, the noises you would make when he finally took you. How you would moan his name while he was going down on you.

He bit lightly on your earlobe and watched as your skin prickled at the touch of his goatee.

"Stephen..."

God, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth was extremely arousing. He was so hard. It suddenly seemed like a good idea for him to show you what you were doing to him. He grabbed your hand from his chest and brought it down to his hip as he took your lips again in a hungry kiss. But as soon as he had you touching his bulge, you flinched and pushed him away slightly, breaking the kiss and clearing your throat looking extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry..." You got up going to the small bar in the far corner of the room. Stephen watched you prepare a glass of martini. He shook his head trying to get his thoughts straight. He knew your first kiss had turned out to be more heated than he'd expected, but he was confused by your reaction.

He got up and walked over to the bar "Did I do something you didn't like?" He asked holding your hand and making you look at him.

You shook your head negatively. "It's okay. It just seemed a little too much for one night. I'm sorry, I'm being silly." You took a long drink of your martini.

Stephen sighed "No need to apologize. I... I went a little too far. It's just that you have this effect on me and I've wanted this for so long."

You smiled, but your cheeks were bright red, as if somehow what he was saying was  completely absurd. Maybe if his brain hadn't been enveloped in a cloud of alcohol, or if all the blood in his head hadn't gone down to his cock, he would have understood.

Before you could respond, you were interrupted by the sound of the elevator and Thor and America came out. "The girl was worried because the doctor had disappeared" Thor informed smiling and although Stephen was scared by the possibility of him understanding what was happening, it was soon clear that the Asgardian had not noticed anything, America on the other hand stared at Stephen and then at you and gave him a wink.

"Well, I'll leave you to him then." Thor said turning around and America followed him.

"On second thought, I just needed to know he was okay, we can get back to the party now."

The two took the elevator back and Stephen chuckled. "How is it possible that a 14 year old girl can outsmart an Asgardian god?"

You allowed yourself a small giggle "Thor is a sweetheart, but intelligence is not his forte." You took your glass and went back to sit on the sofa and Stephen watched you for a moment, still unsure.

"Sit with me, Stephen. I'm sorry I spoiled the mood."

He approached and sat next to you.

"You didn't. I overdid it and scared you."

You smiled shyly "I wouldn't exactly say I was scared. Surprised would be more accurate. And you don't need to apologize."

He touched your face "You're so beautiful. I don't know how I could contain myself for so long when all I wanted was to have you in my arms."

You placed your hand over his. "What now? What do we do now?"

He sighed thinking for a second. "What do you want to do?"

"Right now? I just want to be here with you, but I know we've been here long enough for everyone to notice we have disappeared. Not to mention Thor will tell everyone who asks that he saw us here, so we should probably head downstairs. But that's not what I'm talking about."

He sighed "Maybe... maybe we should keep this just between us for a while until I figure out the best time to talk to Stark..."

You bit your bottom lip, but you didn't say anything. And he knew that didn't please you.

"What is it?"

"It's just..." You held his hand in yours playing with his fingers and Stephen couldn't help but notice how small your hands were compared to his. That thought made his cock throb inside his pants and he mentally scolded himself.

"I don't want to hide it. I want to hold your hand, I want to cuddle with you in the living room. I want what everyone else has."

He smirked, finding it all too sweet, but maintained his stance as he suggested, "I know. We might get there eventually, sweetheart, but I'm talking about self-preservation here. I need to think of a way to convince Stark that this isn't wrong, which I'm sure will be very difficult. Plus, you know it's not just Tony. All the Avengers adore you and I'm going to get in trouble with all of them."

You sighed "Not all of them." You said it softly and Stephen didn't know if you really wanted him to hear it. "Nat knows. Yelena too."

Stephen exhaled heavily "Who else?"

"Peter and MJ."

"What exactly do they know?"

You looked at him shyly "That I'm in love with you and that I think you like me too. They approve."

Stephen snorted incredulously "I find it hard to believe Romanoff would approve this, sweetheart."

"She does. She told me. She just asked me to proceed with caution, but she said she would support me. Yelena is super cool about that too and Peter and MJ are on our side."

Stephen smiled sighing "America knows it all. She insisted I tell you how I felt. As you can imagine, she approves it, but I'm afraid the approval of three teenagers isn't enough to convince your godfather."

You chuckled "Peter and MJ are not teenagers anymore, and Nat and Yelena will be on our side too."

He smirked taking one of your hands and kissing it gently and then pulling you to his lips, but this time he tried to contain himself. He kissed you deeply, passionately, but made a Herculean effort to keep his hands to himself. However,  your fingers entwined in his hair and with that you managed to pull a moan from the bottom of his throat.

"Now, that's not very smart."

Stephen pulled away from you instinctively when he heard Romanoff's voice. When he turned towards the direction the voice was coming from he saw her standing next to the elevator. Yelena beside her helping her walk.

"You realize that anyone can show up at any moment, right?" Yelena asked.

"Especially Tony" Natasha completed.

You started to giggle and Stephen stared at you in disbelief. "She's right, Y/n"

"Yeah, I usually am. I suggest you two head down to the party before anyone notices you're gone."

That said, the two entered the elevator and Natasha shoot him an angry look.

"Are you sure she's on our side?" Stephen asked chuckling nervously.

You grabbed him by the tie "Yes she is. Now give me one more kiss before we go, magic man."

And he obeyed. There was nothing he wanted more than to kiss you. Well, maybe there were a thing or two.

...

The night became considerably more tolerable now that you and Stephen had sorted things out. Well, not everything, but at least you could tell there was something between you and not just that flirting you could never be sure if it was real or something in your head. It was safe to say that you spent the rest of the evening wrapped in a kind of cloud of enthusiasm and there were, however ridiculous that definition was, butterflies in your stomach every time you and Stephen exchanged glances, some not so discreetly.

When most of the people had gone and only your friends were left, Tony did the favor of turning on the damn karaoke machine making everyone laugh every time someone was challenged to sing a song. However you couldn't complain, you were enjoying the show.

"Hey, Doctor, your turn" Wilson shouted after finishing a painful version of Streets of Philadelphia. You glared at Stephen who shook his head vehemently "No, thanks."

Sam looked around "Who's coming now? Come on guys, I just humiliated myself here, I'll feel better if you guys do the same."

"I've already humiliated myself enough" Pepper answered. She just finished singing It's all coming back to me now."

Stephen looked at you smiling. You were sitting at a table next to Nat and Yelena. To your surprise, he pointed at you "Why don't you make Y/n sing for us." He suggested and Wilson denied "No, come on. She won't help, she will only humiliate me even more."

You shook your head "I'm off today. Only you guys sing."

Tony climbed on the small stage taking the microphone from Sam's hand "The doctor is right. Come here, darling, show those scumbags how it's done."

Everyone started to press you and you threw an angry look at Stephen who was laughing. You got up going towards the stage "What shall I sing?"

Tony faced the small audience of Avengers "What do you guys think? Do we choose for her or let her choose?"

"Choose for her" Hill said.

"Let her choose" Stephen said staring at you "I'm curious to know what she will choose."

"You choose it, baby. Friday can find any song you want."

You stared at him blankly for a moment "Did you hack the karaoke machine?"

"What's the fun in only having 50 songs to choose from?" He asked defending himself and handing the microphone in your hand. He came down on stage and sat next to Pepper.

You thought for a second "Friday, play Cherry by Lana Del Rey."

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

DOCTOR STRANGE MASTERLIST

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[black-rabbit-razumikhin]

Raz Reads Les Mis (VII)

Fantine - The Champmathieu Affair

"By now the reader has obviously worked out that Madeleine is Jean Valjean"

No, Hugo

No, this reader had not worked it out

I yelped at your book, Hugo

The implications! Bishop Charlie would be so proud! And he's looked at Fantine all abandoned and unloved and full of loathing and he must have recognized his own loathing within her because they were both forsaken by what they had been promised would protect them

Anyways, there are nuns looking after Fantine round the clock now because Fantine is really not looking alright

And Valjean goes looking for a horse and cart to take him a considerable distance overnight

Me, assuming his plan was to find Cosette

When actually he wants to save this man Champmathieu who everyone believes is him and who is going to be condemned under Valjean's identity soon

Valjean has a whole panic attack over the situation, going back and forth about how he promised to always do good and so can't have Champmathieu condemned under his name... but if he leaves and is thrown back in jail nobody will be there to look after Fantine

In part of his panic and his rage, he throws into the fire everything of his live that makes him Jean Valjean, including the two silver candle holders bishop Charlie gave him

That detail made me unexpectedly emotional

Also in this fire he sees the silver piece he stole from the marmot kid a while back

But finally the morning comes and the carriage and horse have arrived and away he plunges off into the night to be the form of Champmathieu's salvation

When Fantine finds out Valjean is gone because he hasn't come to visit her at his usual time, I wanted to cry

She has so much hope! She's so happy and she tells the nun everything about Cosette and how much she can't wait to see her again because that's obviously where Valjean is going in such a hurry

She asks for a bed to be installed next to hers so Cosette can sleep near her

The doctor who visits her is shocked because she seems to have made a miraculous recovery and may actually be getting better

Maybe, maybe, maybe Fantine is going to be alright

On Valjean's route, he meets a whole host of delays and issues that he didn't expect

He gets stuck in a small town after his wheel is damaged and when it looks like he may have to turn around, he is elated

He doesn't want to be here, and if he can't get past this town, well, he tried and God said no

God did not say no

God found him a new, albeit winding, route to get to the courthouse where the Champmathieu proceedings are happening

At first he is elated, because when he tries to see the proceedings, he's told that they're over

They're over? The man has been convicted?

What man? This was a little old lady

Wrong trial, Valjean's trial is still running nicely, but it'll be over soon

He's told there's no space for witnesses, but upon telling the staff at the court that he is a public official, the esteemed and mini-famous Mayor Madeleine, they direct him to special priority seating behind the judge

Valjean has another panic attack

But once he's calmed down, he takes his place at his priority seating

The trial has ended and Champmathieu is given the chance to say any closing words in his defense

And he goes on a whole long story about how he is not Valjean and how he did not steal anything

And so he's cross-examined

It's like the had an informal appeal trial before the initial trial was even completed

But three convicts come out and all attest that Champmathieu is Valjean and they were all in prison together

To their defence, even Valjean thinks Champmathieu looks like him, if only a little older and a little more world-worn

And just as the sentence is about to be pronounced as 'guilty', Valjean stands up in this grand entrance and tells everyone that he is in fact Jean Valjean

You go, drama queen, have your main character moment

He has gained such a positive reputation in his eight years as Madeleine that the first reaction is for a physician to be called to put him to bed - gramps has had one too many glasses of port recently

Valjean laughs this off and proves what he says by announcing personal characteristics of the three witnessing convicts that only someone in the galleys would know

But nobody moves to arrest him

So Valjean shrugs and turns to the prosecutor like "You know where I live if you need me" and trots off

Champathieu is found not guilty and set free

So, Madeleine is Jean Valjean. That Jean Valjean, so maybe Javert was right. He also mentions in the trial that it sucks that Javert isn't there because he's the only person who would recognize Valjean on sight and without hesitation. It is honestly impressive how far he has risen in eight years - almost exactly comparable to how far Fantine has fallen. But one has power over his circumstances and the other constantly has all her power ripped from her. And then there's the other underlying fact that Valjean must have made a massive impression on Javert. How many prisoners are you seeing all the time but then Big Strong Man made that much of an impression on you?

I am far too invested in a book that I have barely started.

[ardenrabbit]

Hello!

A Long and Slow Recovery - are we past the halfway point? I am so excited to see how everything turns out. Did you do a lot of research to delve into Xie Lian’s experience with recovery? It’s very well written with regard to his mental and emotional struggles. Also , I just love how you write Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s interactions.

Those Worthy of Following( new name change!) - I gushed about it in your comment section but need to emphasize how much I love that opening chapter with the dual between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian. And this dynamic, of Hua Cheng being the prince, and Xie Lian being the bodyguard, is A+++. Xie Lian is so calm and kind and powerful. He was so fierce about Hua Cheng not talking down about himself. Like,yes gege, please show your Hua Cheng how precious he is, haha. I ❤️ reading Xie Lian showing his protectiveness of Hua Cheng, even from the man himself. I’m also keen to see how Feng Xin and Mu Qing will take to Xie Lian in this verse too.

Is there anything else you can share about it that’s not spoilers? If not, that’s fine too!

Your writing is just delicious - a pleasure, something to savor and come back to again and again.

Thank you!

Omg thank you so much 💕😭💕 Your comments are always such a delight!! It's so validating and encouraging and I hope you know that!!

We are indeed past the halfway point in alasr! I honestly just kind of know what happens in a big blob with like half a dozen bullet points, so I don't have a final chapter count ready, but Chapter 20 is basically the start of the second half of the story. I originally thought the fic was gonna end at just about the New Year celebration, but it turns out his recovery is taking a lot longer than that, and his recovery isn't even the only one we're dealing with now, so I got ambitious. The premise also uh deserves a little more closure and resolution than that lol, so Arc 2 is gonna be a little higher stakes than we've had so far.

I'm so glad you're enjoying how I'm writing Xie Lian and his recovery! Haha I did research a variety of other conditions and disabilities and read accounts from people who have them, because that's just good research. Honestly, though, inspiration for the vast majority of Xie Lian's mental/emotional struggles have been sourced from firsthand experience :)

I'm mentally and physically disabled and have been my whole life, and I wasn't even diagnosed with anything (I was somehow just diagnosed with Teenager) until I hit rock bottom about it in adulthood. I've gotten to a better place with the mental stuff, but even though it's no longer an active threat to me, my bad days can still leave me nonverbal, disconnected from reality, and sometimes catatonic. The physical stuff has been getting worse over the years, and even though I can still walk independently with a cane when I leave the house (as long as I rest a lot), I still fall down just walking in my own home. I keep having to remember that my chronic pain and fatigue isn't normal, and I keep getting evidence that I'm worse than I thought. I've had to reorganize my life around all of it and I'm uh. Not taking it well lately lol.

So alasr is my self-therapy project. Xie Lian is going to get better and I'm not, and that still kind of pisses me off lol, but it's nice to vent and see someone else get a happy ending. So...yeah, at least writing alasr has helped distract me from my own pity party, and Xie Lian's anger, despair, guilt, and forced optimism are cathartic for me. It's not just about me, though; obviously I'm trying to stay in character for him and write in the context of his specific circumstances. But I guess I relate to sick fic stuff lol

Fully aware that that was a lot of oversharing 💜

But ANYWAY, AS FOR ✨ THOSE WORTHY OF FOLLOWING ✨ I'm so glad you're liking that one so far too!! I craaaaave protective badass Xie Lian and I needed a different brand of angst and drama from alasr for a while lol. I love writing violence tbh. I don't wanna spoil too much, but I definitely wanna confirm this:

TWOF is NOT a post-canon reincarnation fic. I'm personally not up for writing that kind of loss of all their canon experiences. And there are probably some really well-written takes on it! It's just not personally my speed. 😅 This one might seem like a post-canon reincarnation fic in the first couple chapters, but it'll make more sense soon.

It IS angst with a HAPPY ending, I promise!! What I'm planning right now gets really rather sad and it might seem hopeless at some point, but I promise, I'm confident in my plan to make it genuinely happy and fulfilling!

I'm exploring a trope about which I've had some general hangups, but I honestly enjoy taking tropes and tweaking them to my preferences. I think a lot of people can already guess what trope I'm talking about, which is fine with me! If it means the buildup and foreshadowing are working, I'm happy it fits!

What I'm panicking about with this wip is that I've convinced myself that I need to earn a doctorate in Tang Dynasty battle and siege tactics to write it credibly lmao. I spent three hours the other night researching ancient Chinese fire starters and the differences between Han and Tang era tea preparation (to little avail). This one is gonna take a lot of research for my own peace of mind but I hope it pays off!

Mu Qing and Feng Xin are gonna be okay!! Someone commented on ch2 that they liked that Mu Qing got hurt because they hate him and I'm like...I didn't think I'd framed that as a good thing..... 😅 That was something a Bad Guy did.......... 😅😅😅

Thank you so much for your kind comments and all of the fun engagement!! I'm truly so honored that you've enjoyed my writing so far! 💖💖💖

[hassedah]

how would they react to MC being an older vampire, older even then Neil, being basically the parental figure to them? like, the mc would try to make vladmir feels better, would try to help rapha to deal with grieving and would teach ivan to hunt ?

platonical relationship ykyk :p

MC is an older vampire :

Hi! How are you? I hope you are well! ^^

Here is the headcanon you requested, I hope you enjoy it! ^^

Take care of yourself and have a nice day! ^^

You're one of the original vampires and you're a very old vampire, so old that you were present at the Trojan War and have survived all the wars between vampires since your birth without difficulty. You've travelled the world and met many other supernatural creatures. After your travels, you've looked for a comfortable place to settle down, a quiet little corner away from humans, if possible, but with other vampires because you don't really like solitude and you enjoy communicating with your fellow creatures, especially the younger ones who, unlike the older ones, still marvel at many little things.

You arrived in this manor shortly after Vladimir. The young vampire was already living there with Neil. You didn't understand why the older one, who was injured to boot, was locked up in a dark, damp cellar, as it was clearly not good for his recovery, so you moved him to a room upstairs.

Later you met Aaron, a friend of Vladimir's, the poor guy had nowhere else to go anyway and you certainly wouldn't have let him live outside. You were more than happy for him to join you.

Then Beliath arrived, a very energetic and teasing young man, half incubus. His much sunnier personality made the nights more eventful. He invited one of his friends to join him shortly afterwards, Ethan, he had a difficult character of course, a bit like being in an eternal teenage crisis, but that didn't bother you. You know your young peers well enough to know that they can be quite temperamental.

Then Raphaël came to live with you. The poor vampire seemed as sad as the stones and his false smile didn't really fool you. You were beginning to run out of room though, after all this is a manor, not a castle. So when Aaron brought Ivan back things got a bit complicated. You gave Ivan your old room after converting the cellar into a sort of suite. You knew that with a bit of work you could turn it into a really nice room, and you weren't wrong.

Your calmness always surprises everyone in the manor, nothing seems to impress you or make you angry. When someone annoys you, you usually just say "Go to your room, you're annoying me" or "Get out of here and don't come back until you're calmer". The surprising thing is that most of the time you manage to get them to obey you.

Vladimir :

Vladimir with Ivan is the one who demands the most attention from you. He can look after himself, of course, but your presence seems to reassure him enormously, so you spend a lot of time with him. The early days were difficult though, both because he could be cold and arrogant, but also because he was terrified of being alone again. As a result, every argument between you ended with a vampire convinced that you were going to abandon him in that horrible mansion. And it was a long time before you managed to reassure him about that. No, you weren't going to leave overnight, yes, you were going to stay with him.

When you arrived, Vladimir seemed like a very sad boy. He was alone in a mansion that was far too big for him (you don't count Neil as company as he hardly spoke to each other and slept a lot). Vladimir was quite thin, with heavy dark circles under his eyes, he always gave you the impression he was about to cry. At best he floated in his clothes, at worst he just looked dirty and worn out. His unhappiness weighed down the atmosphere in any room he passed through, and you spent a lot of time watching him, so worried were you by his constant sadness.

He opened up to you little by little as you talked to him. He told you what had happened to him, his illness, his transformation, his years of wandering, his meetings with Aaron and Raphaël, the death of his mother, his arrival at the manor and the death of the couple he found there. He talked to you mainly about his mother's death and the murder of the former inhabitants of the manor, in fact he was on a loop about it. You must have spent a lot of time reassuring him. Sometimes he was so distressed about the murder of the former residents that he'd wake you up in the middle of the day to tell you that the couple had come back to haunt him.

You ended up letting him sleep with you on certain days when, despite long discussions, he was still far too anxious to go back to bed on his own. You tried lots of things to help him calm down: soft music, plants, books, purify the house, you even bought her a cuddly toy in the hope that it would at least ease her nightmares a little. But it was a long time before he finally started to calm down about it. The arrival of Aaron has made your job a little easier. Vladimir stopped waking you up almost every day and started going to see Aaron instead.

Today, he still follows you around like a duckling that has lost its mother. You're still the first person he comes to for advice, whether on landscaping the garden or on the manor in general. Your approval means a lot to him, and he takes it pretty hard when you disagree with one of his decisions. He's mainly afraid you'll hate him for disagreeing with you, part of him knows it's silly and you're not going to hate him for it, but another part can't help worrying about it.

He also comes to talk to you when he's feeling sad or when he's managed the feat of arguing with several people in the manor in a single night - at times like these, discussions can be lengthy, especially when you have to persuade him to apologise after being unpleasant with someone. You often have to act as an intermediary between him and the others, especially between him and Ethan.

Even though you've assured him on several occasions that you're not planning to leave, he's still afraid of you leaving. When people he doesn't know come to visit you he feels threatened, he's afraid you'll finally decide to leave with them and leave them here. he still needs to be reassured that you regard the members of this manor as your family.

He particularly likes it when you bring him a cup of milk or hot chocolate when he's sad, or when you read to him in the little lounge.

Sometimes you try to persuade him to go out, but it's an uphill battle. He doesn't really feel safe outside the manor and even if you promise that nothing will happen to him he can't really help worrying. However, you sometimes manage to persuade him to go out to the theatre or the opera, he wouldn't feel safe going alone and even if Beliath and Aaron agree to go with him, he doesn't feel right bothering them for that.

Beliath :

Beliath doesn't really need your help in general. He's probably one of the most emotionally stable people in the manor, along with Aaron. He's not really irresponsible, despite what Vladimir is constantly telling you, and he doesn't knowingly put others in danger - in fact, quite the opposite, as he's serious enough to stop Ethan fighting with people at the Moondance or to defend the other members of the manor in the event of a problem. He's a bit reckless at times, of course, but it's nothing really serious or anything you can't sort out easily. After all, you're a very old vampire and you've had far more difficult situations to deal with than a slightly reckless and mischievous vampire.

You knew straight away when he arrived that he was an incubus. This was mainly due to his behaviour towards the other members of the manor: he was always a bit flirtatious, even when his aim wasn't to be flirtatious at all. However, seeing him try to hide it from you was far too amusing for you to tell the others. He didn't seem to want to hurt the other boys in the manor either so you let him. What's more, this only concerned Beliath, and as Aaron didn't feel it necessary to tell you straight away that he was a werewolf, you don't see why Beliath should be forced to reveal his true nature to others.

When they found out, you had to ease the tension between them. Vladimir had taken it into his head to blame Beliath, and Aaron didn't react any better, reproaching him for not revealing that he was an incubus immediately. You had to have a long talk with both of them to make them understand that their reaction was inappropriate, given that Aaron only revealed his werewolf nature to Vladimir and no one blamed him.

You quickly become attached to him. Beliath is always in a good mood, rather like a child or an adolescent. There's not much that seems to wipe the smile off his face, and it's a real pleasure to chat with him when other people's worries are monopolising your mind.

He often comes to see you to try and understand his housemates' reactions better. Even though he tries not to show it, he's become very attached to them (more than an incubus should, according to his sister) and their friendship is something he treasures and doesn't want to spoil. Because he hasn't lived much with humans, he doesn't always understand what it is about his behaviour that upsets Aaron, Raphael, Ivan or Vladimir, especially as Ethan never complains about him. So he comes to you for advice, which he then tries to apply with varying degrees of success. The biggest difficulties he encounters are with Vladimir, he doesn't know what he's doing wrong, but he always ends up offending the aristocrat in one way or another, he really appreciates you explaining to him what Vladimir has taken the wrong way in the discussion.

You let him give you manicures; he loves doing that because it gives him a good excuse to chat to you. After all, he's not going to give you a manicure without talking to you. More often than not, he'll tell you all the gossip he's picked up at the Moondance. But when you're really alone, he mostly talks about the other members of the manor. He's much more concerned about them than his carefree appearance would lead you to believe. It's with you that he discusses his ideas for trying to get Raphael and Vladimir out of the manor.

He also loves it when you go shopping with him (Ethan sometimes goes with him, but the doctor only complains about how long it takes him to choose and try on new clothes and never gives her opinion on her outfits). You sometimes spend several hours shopping, and on more than one occasion you've had to stop him from going way over Vladimir's shopping budget. But you buy him one of the shirts he wanted anyway, you know he's got more than a dozen just like it, but it makes him so happy you can't resist.

Ivan :

Ivan is, along with Vladimir, the one who demands the most of your attention, but he's still young, so the fact that he often needs your help with things that other people think are simple or obvious doesn't surprise you. You also have the advantage of having been around a lot of young vampires, which makes it easier to get on with them. It's not the first time you've had to reassure someone about the upheaval in their daily life caused by becoming a vampire, after all, you've done it many times and you know what to say to reassure them.

You quickly found that the boys were far too brutal with the young man. As you know, young vampires are generally very fragile psychologically, after all, the transformation into a vampire is a big change, even a traumatic one for many, and for Ivan, who has no idea what happened to him before Aaron found him and transformed him, this is even more the case. What's more, someone so young can't do things as well as Aaron, who has passed the 600 year mark. Ivan still has a lot to learn, whether it's about vampires or about life in general - he's barely out of his teens, after all.

After a few weeks of letting the others interact with the young man, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You started by going with Ivan to hunt in Aaron's place, mainly to see if it was as bad as the boys were telling you. And it wasn't nearly as bad as you'd been told. Ivan had great difficulty managing himself, of course, but all young vampires have more or less difficulty, and for Ivan it was mainly due to the fact that his hunts were too far apart in time and to his constant fear of making a mistake and disappointing Aaron.

The fact that he has trouble mastering his vampire powers doesn't surprise you either. After all, he lives safely in the manor, so there's no vital need for him to master them in order to defend himself. In fact, in a way it's a good thing, because it means that times are a lot calmer than when you were born. You've lived through several wars between former vampires, and back then, the least combative young vampires died very early on. It was dangerous to be a young vampire and those who didn't die in battle were often traumatised for years by war and violence. You're pretty happy Ivan doesn't have to go through this.

You do, however, spend time trying to teach him to use his vampire powers properly. Even if he doesn't need them vitally at the moment, knowing how to master them could save his life one day. You explain things gently and go at his pace, so as not to rush him.

It's not always easy to train Ivan, of course, because he's so lacking in self-confidence and always feels like he's making mistakes or doing something stupid, but your constant encouragement helps him gain confidence in his abilities enormously and he progresses much faster with you, probably because you never forget to assure him that you're proud of the effort he's making, even when he fails. He's so happy to feel seen and encouraged by you that he always feels sad when it's not you who accompanies him to training.

Ivan also likes to spend time with you when you're not training him. He'll show you the comics he's reading and tell you the stories of his favourite characters, so much so that you'll know some of them by heart without even having read a single comic about them. He often even asks you to go to the cinema with him to see the latest Marvel film (which sometimes leads to arguments with Ethan, who wants you to go and see the DC films with him).

He'll also show you his favourite video games and he'll be even happier if you agree to play with him, whether you know how to play video games or not. He doesn't mind teaching you how to play some of his games, even if you die several times in a row.

He always comes to you when he's been burnt by the sun while sneaking out during the day. He's far too scared of being shouted at by Aaron or Vladimir to go and see them, and even though he knows you're likely to argue with him, he also knows you won't call him stupid or unconscious, which makes him feel much better.

Aaron :

Aaron generally manages very well on his own. He doesn't ask for much attention from you, as he's lived alone for a long time. However, you do spend a lot of time together, mostly talking about the other members of the manor, what they're doing, how they're doing or what you could do to make them better or happier. Sometimes it makes you feel slightly like single parents at a support meeting.

Underneath his muscles and gruff façade, you quickly realised that Aaron was someone who was very protective of the members of the manor. He takes very badly any threats that might approach them and watches over the safety of the group in the manner of a she-wolf protecting her cubs, which means he gets on quite well with you given that you also seem to want to protect the members of the manor.

Aaron never thought he'd find someone living with Vladimir when he arrived at the manor, well, he's not going to complain given the anguish the younger man seemed to be in it seemed rather positive that you were living with him to look after him. Even though he didn't say it in front of Vladimir so as not to embarrass him, he thanked you for taking care of the aristocrat. He was a little worried about him when Vladimir decided to go off on his own.

You mainly help Aaron to manage the other members of the manor, and it's quite nice for him to have someone to lean on to deal with any problems they may encounter. However, you sometimes have conflicts when you have to deal with problems. Aaron is often too blunt for your liking, and while you don't doubt that this works very well on some people, you know that it doesn't work on everyone and that bluntness tends to put people on edge and on the defensive.

You had to tell him several times to be less rough with Ethan, and fortunately Beliath ended up stepping in to look after the younger boy because Aaron and Ethan would have ended up fighting. Then you had to tell him to ease up on Ivan and to be less direct with Vladimir and Raphaël.

In a way you understand Aaron's point of view, he's lived through wars between former vampires and he's had to adapt to survive. You know that his periods in history still affect him, having spoken to him about them on several occasions, and that his reactions to the others stem mainly from a desire to see them hardened so that they can survive in case he isn't there to protect them. You try to help him break out of this way of thinking, but it's rather complicated for him, who has spent most of his life surviving rather than living.

It's quite rare that you talk about anything other than the boys and the security of the manor, but sometimes you simply accompany him into the forest to walk together. These are pleasant moments when Aaron talks to you about the poetry he writes or the few memories he has of his mother and his life in the village before he became a mercenary. He really enjoys spending his quiet time with you; he doesn't really have the opportunity to talk to others about what's affecting him, as his main concern is their safety. It does him a lot of good to know that you're there to listen to him.

Raphaël :

You spend a lot of time looking after Raphaël. He doesn't need you as much as Vladimir and Ivan, but you can't leave him alone. He's one of the most sensitive people in the manor and what seems harmless to others often seems horrible or catastrophic to him. You spend a lot of time reassuring him or making sure he doesn't stay alone with his dark thoughts for too long. This can be quite unsettling, even for you, as he seems capable of crying over even the smallest things and you sometimes find it very hard to reassure him when he goes into a spiral of anxiety.

You accompanied Vladimir to England to fetch him (Beliath would have gone with him if you hadn't been able to), and fortunately so, because Vladimir probably wouldn't have been able to come back if he'd gone on his own. Raphaël was frighteningly thin, lived in a flat that looked more like a dump than a house and was barely strong enough to get around on his own. You had to go hunting for him so he could get some food. And he also spent a lot of time sleeping or talking about his ex. During the journey to Raphaël's house, Vladimir confided in you that he was absolutely determined to go there because Raphaël had not replied to any of his letters and he was afraid that something had happened to him.

It took you twice as long to get back to the manor as it did to get to Raphaël's house, and you even carried his things for most of the way because the vampire wasn't strong enough to do it alone.

In the beginning, you spent a lot of time with him and he was almost never alone as Vladimir and Aaron were with him when you weren't around. Beliath and Ethan also took care of him, whether by buying him books or sweets when the incubus learned that Raphaël had a certain appetite for sweets.

When you spent time with Raphaël, he usually talked about Margarita, especially at the beginning. He was all over the place on the subject and never missed an opportunity to sing the praises of the vampire, repeating over and over again all her many qualities.

You find it a little hard to like his 'wonderful' Margarita, even though you don't want to tell him so. In any case, Aaron shares your opinion on the subject. You've always been taught that it's very dangerous for humans to associate with vampires, especially over the long term and you find it hard not to resent this woman for having consorted with two humans without regard for their safety. Raphaël is the perfect example of why vampires prefer not to do it, humans are too sensitive to your charm, even when you're not trying to charm them, and apart from vampire hunters few are able to resist it. So you're not really surprised that he's having so much trouble mourning this vampire even though he himself is a vampire and she has been dead for decades.

Now that Raphaël is feeling better, he talks to you less about Margarita and a bit more about art and the books he reads. He often comes to see you to see if you've read a book he's enjoyed and to get your opinion on the subject.

You also often accompany him outside the manor. Raphaël hardly ever leaves the manor unless someone accompanies him. He doesn't really feel safe outside because of all the cars and the hustle and bustle of modern life. More often than not, you'll take him to the theatre or the opera, and he loves going. Sometimes you manage to persuade him to go to the cinema, but it's always to see romantic comedies. He also likes it when you take him to the museum, Vladimir never feels safe enough to go with him and although Aaron and Beliath agree to go with him, he knows they're not interested.

Ethan :

He's not the easiest boy in the manor to get along with and sometimes you just want to send him to his room like a child having a tantrum. You can't do it, but the idea has crossed your mind so many times it's almost amusing.

He had a bit of trouble believing you at first when you told him your age. In fact, even making an effort and knowing that vampires exist, he can't understand how you could have been biologically alive for so long. He asked Beliath several times if it was really possible and if you weren't making fun of them.

You easily became attached to him, even if your relationship was a little complicated at first. After all, Ethan didn't trust anyone but Beliath and was constantly on the defensive with everyone. You must have made a lot of effort to get him to trust you and start talking to you without being mocking or aggressive.

But your efforts paid off in the end, not least because you stood up for him when Aaron got angry with Ethan. He started to talk to you a bit more often and, above all, a bit more calmly. You also got closer to him by agreeing to play chess with him, which he was quite happy about given that not many people agree to play chess with him ( and especially few people manage to win at chess against him, because despite what Vladimir and Raphaël say, Ethan doesn't cheat at chess).

It took you a long time before he confided in you about his past. At the beginning, when he started to trust you, you had as much information as Beliath. So you knew at least enough to know how to react in a crisis. Now you're the only person who knows everything about his past, even Beliath doesn't know everything.

He didn't think he'd talk to you about it at first, but now that you know, he feels better in a way he didn't think possible. There's something really reassuring about knowing that you're there and ready to listen to him talk if he needs to.

Often, he'll come and talk to you when the others are already asleep, to make sure no-one hears what he's saying. You spend a lot of time talking together, he often tells you the same things even though he's trying to understand how he feels about it, he trusts you but he doesn't like to remember his past and he likes the emotions that come with rememberings even less. Knowing that you're there to help him deal with the emotions he's trying to repress is reassuring for him.

To make him happy, you've bought him a mobile phone on the sly. You don't think Ethan's irresponsible enough to put anyone in danger with it, and what's more, your present seems to really please him given the amount of time he spends playing with it. He's nearly been noticed by Vladimir more than a dozen times, but you always manage to divert the aristocrat's attention so that Ethan doesn't get shouted at. Beliath knows too, and he too helps you hide the fact that Ethan has a mobile phone.

In a way, the phone you've bought him is also a way of reassuring yourself. You know that Ethan sometimes hangs out in dangerous neighbourhoods and knowing that he has a phone to call you if there's a problem makes you feel calmer.

You've already had to pick him up from a bar because he was too drunk to walk home alone. The bartender called you because your number was on Ethan's emergency call list. Honestly, you didn't know whether you were annoyed that you had to go across town to pick him up or touched by the fact that your phone number was on his emergency list.

Neil :

Neil is complicated. It took him a long time before he dared to rely on you and trust you. At first, he didn't trust you at all and avoided you. You can understand him, there's been so much war between former vampires that trusting you without thinking things through could be dangerous for him when he's far from healthy. After all, you're even older than he is, and therefore more powerful.

You moved him to one of the bedrooms upstairs after realising that Vladimir had left him to rot in the cellar (you were a little angry with Vladimir for showing so little empathy). Neil is at least grateful to you for that, he really didn't feel able to get around on his own. What's more, every time he woke up in the cellar, he was afraid that the death of the manor's occupants was just a dream and that they would end up coming back to repeat the experiments on him.

It took you a long time to really gain his trust, mainly because he spent a lot of time sleeping at first (well, when he wasn't being woken up by nightmares, each more horrible than the last).

You contacted some witches to get their advice on how to help him heal quickly. They advised you to let him sleep as often as possible, to block the sun's rays completely and to provide him with regular access to fresh blood.

For the nightmares, they sent you a small parcel of plants to burn in the bedroom, which you didn't think would work so well. You're in a good enough position as a former vampire to know that you often end up developing immunity to this kind of plant, so you assume that it's the weakened state in which you found the vampire that cancels out his immunity. You weren't going to complain though, because knowing that he could finally sleep without being constantly woken by nightmares was rather reassuring.

Thanks to your care, he was able to recover quickly and after a year, he could even leave the room without you having to support him to move around. Well, he couldn't go very far, but being able to go alone into the small living room to enjoy the fire in the fireplace already seemed to please him.

Little by little, he has begun to trust you. You look after him without treating him like a fragile little thing, and you help him to become powerful again, even if he feels that it will take him centuries to be the person he was before he was locked up in the cellar.

In the end, he even finds it rather pleasant to be able to count on someone to ensure his safety. He's never really known that: his half-brothers wanted to kill him, his father wanted more or less the same thing, not to mention his stepmothers who would no doubt have loved to see him dead. Then the rulers of neighbouring countries wanted him dead too when he became king, then other vampires during the wars between the ancients. To be able to trust someone is a rare thing for him, and above all a pleasant one.

His character isn't always easy, of course. Neil is a former king, so he can be rather arrogant at times, especially when he speaks to the younger members of the manor in a tone that suggests he thinks they're idiots. You can't persuade him to speak differently to the youngest, despite your insistence.

Now he likes spending time with you. He understands you more easily than the younger members of the manor, you've lived through all the wars between the elders that he's lived through, you know vampires that he also knows and by talking to you he realises that you even lived in certain royal courts at the same time. This allows you to remember some rather amusing anecdotes together.