#ANYWAY. cries about my friends
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Very much loved the little ‘help Krem distract my boyfriend so they can do a birthday surprise’ thing. Conversation going nicely until it turns to bland topics and Bull wonders if being back at the palace has Sav keyed up again so he’s rambling about random shit out of nerves but it’s quickly apparent he’s distracting him from something but if Savraas is in on it it’s probably something good so he’ll play along and see what the surprise is even though he has negative desire to hear about Ferelden politics
#what a guy#im. look. talking to all my friends again after a timeskip. im in heaven. i love collecting all the little doggy bones for cullens new frien#i couldnt find cassandra so im gonna reload a save and see now that i know where she's at#and poor seneschal bran still tied to the vicount's office by his leash. and not in a fun way#now that i know he's suffering under varric's nonsense long after Hawke's left...#i might need to revisit that smut shot#ANYWAY. cries about my friends#and trying not to get too gooey over my bf hehe#'i choose you every day. i dont need anything to bind me to that.' 🥺😭💘#corkscrewed right up#hc that the horns make hugging hard so they do little headbutts like cats do for affection
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rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)
(but it did inspire me)
on another note
finally!!
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#kurogiri#I cried a bit while playing it I missed the classic LoV I missed Kurogiri WITH the LoV it's been so long :(#and it feels like last chapter (423 atm) broke the seal of sketching them as anything but something static#it took me two or so days to just understand that Kurogiri is... yeah#I can't believe it took Horikoshi so long to bring him back but as I said and will say it again I glad it happened at all#after some thought I just want to sit with the chapters#anyway getting the preordered book was so much fun#it was full of LoV from Toga and Dabi talking about her house to Tenko being upset over being told that he doesn't have friends#and everything in-between basically only Compress left to join in the next volume#I think????#I actually want to get another one already they're so goodddd#and the translation sounds pretty good but I checked some pages not the whole book it'll be boring#it's actually so weird to think that I started a goal of reading the whole series ad it was now officially coming out like this back in 201#and now it's 2024 and the translation is pretty much ahead of anime and maybe it'll be faster than viz volumes too#since it's 2 in 1 basically - I think it's really great since I save some money but get LoV chapters every time#because they appear every 2 books at the start of the series and back then it was hard for me to get them#but I felt content seeing all the books that I bought when I was visiting family for holidays this month because there are so many of them#and I don't need any wi-fi or internet in general to read them back to back now with an addictional volume#they have some mistakes but I don't mind them it feels good to just hold all of them (and a bit heavy after like 8 books) and now it's 18
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Hey so, funny thing happened
hey what if I cried
#omg my post has been waterlogged this is awesome#Joel would never say or probably even think this in this type of wording but hey what if I cried anyway#that still applies to Jimmy so much. to me. I want to love you in front of people who didn't...#Joel being part of the ecosystem in which Jimmy's at the bottom of the food chain and treated as such. Even if they're long time friends#And then he realizes one day hey that's not cool. What they're doing to Jimmy is not cool. And that that includes him too#And he's not sure how to do better but he wants to. And he's not sure about his feelings when he wants to get closer but he does#sorry I hate it here#blabber
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chimckens 🐓🌽
#sasha's art#traditional art#acrylic painting#artists on tumblr#chickens#i had a whole Journey with this one we cried we laughed (cried mostly)#i know this one isn't as good as my other stuff maybe? i don't get to paint a lot and it Shows lmao#HOWEVER#this one was also an Emotional one for me#i wanted to do something about the childhood Adventures i got to have with my maternal grandma#who always felt like we liked her Less than my other grandma cos of all kinds of insecurities she had#mostly related to money and class#but we were children we just loved her#and i regret not knowing this before she died and not letting her know how much she meant to me#anyways#this painting will live at my parents' place cos my dad asked if he can have it#and i am really glad my bf urged me a few years ago to start sharing my art with people again#first with friends then family then online#the encouragement from everyone means so much and i Love that my parents love my art and want to display it and show it to everyone#ough#anyways!! hope you enjoy it! i know i do!!!! even tho it's not Perfect!!#the joy of Creation overpowers the fear of imperfections!!!!!!!!!
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Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)
#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum#but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone#and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things?#YOU DONT#IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW#ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE#AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM#I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through#and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry#had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood#idk just venting and rambling lol#aroace#ace spectrum#gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp#and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks#its annoying but it is what it is#aromantic#asexual#lgbt#queer#talking#rambling
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Got excited to see you in my notifications again. How's it been?
Maybe things will get more lively here. Who knows?
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v ask blog#identity v the embalmer#i was looking through my past posts n i realized that i prefer the lines on my laptop rather than my ipad#so i started up my laptop which i legitimately have not touched in about 2 years#it still works. n it has all of my old settings saved#ngl i almost cried when i drew this. it really feels like reconnecting with an old friend#i was going to go for the simpler purple replies that i used to do. but the wave of nostalgia just pushed me to do a standard one instead#its really been too long. drawing on my ipad cant come close to this feeling#sorry ive just been trying to battle the seasonal depression thats been starting to seep in so im more sentimental than i should be#work as a teacher means that i also get the holidays off. so i have about a month or so to do what i want before work swarms me again#n i want to do things for the blog again#anyway guess we're back for now. sop is ready to be harassed again
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it went fine yesterday btw :}
#Robin processes emotions on main#sometimes I freak out like a chihuahua and then actually have a good time. these things are typical in the life of ur local robin#we talked about our lives instead of our Interests and it was fine ! I think I did good. we commiserated about the post-college woes#I got re-reminded how rough my life is right now and cried a little but like in a good way. and I'll make it. we'll both make it#today I made a bucket list of churches to try (By Myself) and places to visit around town#(clutching my head staggering upright) did you guys know th.that childhood parentification can majorly mess you up#man do I need therapy. like. soon I think#also a steady job and my own apartment but let's not get ahead of ourselves. haha. sorry let me rephrase:#I'm GOING to get a job and move out eventually and it will be GOOD. and in the meantime I will make living here good too dangit#anyway so yeah I just forgot that this particular friend is good for Processing Life with instead of Enjoying Stories with#that was my issue last time.#although last time wasn't a Failure on my part. I was just exhausted and I Couldn't process life last time. no energy for that#I didn't feel safe enough to do that so all I had to fall back on was my interests and it just didn't click. such things happen#anyway I'm logging back out now but thank you everyone for the encouragement :') it really helped and I'm gonna keep on truckin'
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goes to check on a friend's blog
second post is about how transandrophobia (one of the major factors of my life) isn't real and saying it is is secretly transmisogyny
:/
blocks.
#sg.txt#so anyway if you think that. we are not friends.#there is a specific flavour of transphobia that is specifically targeted towards trans men and trans mascs#and it is useful to speak about it just as much as every other type of queerphobia#stop being fucking feds for five minutes#ugh apologies to everyone else. it just hasn't been a great day#and i'm not good at acknowledging my own pain in the first place.#so it just majorly sucks to have that pain immediately dismissed because hurr durr men don't have problems#shit like that is why i've only cried twice in at least six months and never said a word#may as well ignore my emotions since it isn't like anyone will take me seriously. because i'm a man and men don't have emotions i guess
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taking old pictures of my family/friends and making them turtles pt 1
#was going to make more of these and then post them but my computer decided to finally die and i didn't want to lose these#rip my 5 year old msi laptop#thank god i sent these to my friends after i made them#i did lose some art though and i am very normal about it#i may have cried#anyways#save rottmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt fanart#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#twig art
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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.
Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!
It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.
#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do#she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself#her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be#or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug#and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better#4.2 spoilers#genshin impact#furina
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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she's beauty she's grace she's Miss Eevee Cosplay 3.0
#personal#pls don't ask me why i'm up at 2am i don't wanna talk about it#anyway i think she's mostly done maybe#i did some more work on the bangs on the wig after i took these pictures so they look better#and i might try to find some flowery earrings when i go to the store for some other stuff tomorrow#but all the major things are done. i think.#honestly i'm all over the place rn so i could be forgetting something#i keep bouncing back and forth between the one million things i have to do (con and not con-related)#anyway i usually try to do a different cosplay every day of con but idk i think i'll just wear flower eevee both saturday and sunday#bc i've put so much work into it and tbh i don't think i can handle trying to get another cosplay ready rn#the only exception would be maybe doing eevee 1.0 or 2.0 bc have everything except the wigs for those ready bc of eevee 3.0#totoro is friday bc my friends and i are doing a ghibli group!!#i wish i had a different ghibli cosplay just bc i've done totoro so much but i do love totoro and she's easy and comfy so that'll be nice#sorry shutting up now i need to go to bed i have WORK TOMORROW#cries#i should start taking off the whole week of convention lol#(no i shouldn't i should just get back in the habit of getting my cosplays done early and not con crunching -.-)
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Can’t a bitch have a mental health day without someone immediately trying to make it theirs instead!
#the shitty thing about suddenly having all of these followers that interact with me now#is that I used to use this blog to scream into the void#like a little diary or something#but now I have an audience and it’s weird#anyway THATS WEIRD HUH GUYS#I’m like#hey idk im feeling really upset by these things going on in my life right now and I think I need some time#and THEYRE like#oh no yeah for sure#anyway suddenly I am also so sad and I cried myself to sleep and I really need your support right now#WHAT LOL#whatever whatever whatever#I guess I get to continue playing mom to my friend group#personal#I know I always play support#for you guys#and I know I’m always the DM#and I always listen to your problems and help fix them#and I’m always making you presents and packages and whatnot#but please#sometimes#just sometimes#I want to be able to be taken care of too
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.
#I've read some of you talking about your irls reaching out#Positive and negative thinga#And I'm... In the middle#I haven't hidden my love for 1D since it took over my life 3 years ago#So the people that know me know this about me#Granted they probably know more about Louis but still#One of my closest friends was a bit insensitive at first and I just couldn't reply#She then sort of came through and has been checking in#I don't think she realized how much it mattered to me#Then I told my best friend who's still back home#I also don't think she understood how important they are to me#She hasn't checked in again but she has sooo much shit on her plate that I don't even blame her although it still... A little bit#But I'm also like trying not to think they actually knew how seriously important these bois are to me#Anyway. Another friend... I saw him right after I found so I was still very much in shock and he knows about them and my deep connection#Saw him the next day he hugged me and asked me how I was and this was after the shock wore off and I had cried all night#I almost broke down again... But he hasn't checked in again and I'm a bit sad about it#Someone I met briefly in the summer and got to talking about the bois reached out and asked and I was glad they did#My sister has been checking in which has been very nice#Again... Idk... I don't need them to understand or be all over me asking or anything#It's just... Yeah.#And it just reinforces my gratitude for this space and the friends I've made the past couple of years#I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have this and you all#But then again... The biggest reason I'm still in this community is the people I've met#So of course I would always have you here#Understanding something that outsiders could never#It's like trying to explain why Louis is so important to me... If you don't feel you won't get it#Rambles ramble#My eyes hurt
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you guys have no idea how much i think about the malice champions (the game calls them "hollows" and thats quite frankly terrifying)
#blbllblblb dark reflections of the self and body horror go brrrr#oh they are from aoc if you didnt know. first show up in korok forest (chapter 3 part 1 i think)#they should have had so much more screentime than they did#horrifying concept 0/10 do not like the implications#wish you had been more explored by the narrative#hey so do you think astor could just make malice copies of anyone or is it something special about the champions (and their#link to the divine beasts assumably) that sets them apart#bc like. residual malice in the divine beasts from the first time sending messages back about how to beat the next set?#but maybe not bc iirc he could copy link before he pulled the master sword so its not any sort of godly connection#prolly a combination of “strong spirit makes strong hollow” and “best way to defeat the enemy is for them to do it themselves”#but like gah the angst potential of the champions running into their own hollow- or worse someone elses#(and not realising at first smth is off. korok forest is known for playing tricks on the eyes and the mind)#could you really strike at your fellow champion? your friend? your possible love interest? (if ur insane like me)#anyway they also should have been utilised in the corrupted divine beasts but thats just me and my angst loving heart#(i would have cried so much its probably for the best they didnt. wont stop me tho)#the champions#botw champions#botw#aoc#moss' madness
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I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....
Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?
#I actually don't remember exactly when I picked up ninjago. I just know that it was april or may cause it was nearing the end of-#the school year#anyway this show feels like it's my best friend in all honesty. it's been with me for so long and at my loneliest#and to think that I've grown up alongside it. it's so weird#I have such a clear memory of like when just about anything happened for this show#s3 finale? I was sick but I still tuned into watch and CRIED#s5? I watched nearly every episode when it aired on cartoon network in my parents room cause my dad was using our other tv at that time#s8? watched it weekly in my grandparents basement and It Was A Ride#s11 finale? got to the episode at like. 6 am before I had to go to school and felt utterly disappointed there was no kai and zane fight#seabound? watched it weekly that one spring and IT WAS ALSO A RIDE#and that's not even touching the hours upon hours of fan works I've looked at#just. it's been such a long time. over a decade of my life that I've been attached to this show. and at the same time it feels like no-#time has passed at all#I actually first watched the show cause some classmates were talking about it and I wanted to be friends with someone so bad so I started-#to watch it and I Very Quickly surpassed their love of it#what a ride huh? now we're at a point where I can look this show and say it's genuinely good (THANK YOU DRAGONS RISING!!!!!!!!!!)#ok I'm done reminiscing. time to think about the newest scenarios in which to make kai suffer >:)#ninjago#phoenix prattles
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