#ANOTHER STAR WAR ART... she seems like such a neat character!!

[wouldntyoulichentoknow]

revenge on artfight user @/zaage of their cool Togruta lady Raana!!

[ratsoh-writes]

MEET THE THEATRETALE BROS!!

Before I introduce them, let me give a little background on the au

Theatretale: like most other AUs, these monsters were shut underground behind a barrier after the war. To cope with the loss and grief of the ones the lost, and their imprisonment, every one turned to music. It’s believed that these monsters are close au relatives of the dance monsters. They were freed by the crash and now live fairly peacefully with every one else

Tempo:

He is the older brother at 42 years old and stands only 5’4 feet high. Tempo has a pink/purple magic and a small patch of freckles along his nose ridge and cheek. He’s a passionate and cheerful monster, always lost in his own little world. Tempo is hard to put down. He has wonderful self esteem and a bit of an ego. Luckily he balances it out by lifting his friends up.

Tempo is an artist in every sense. He paints, sculpts, writes, plays music, and even sings. (He does not have the sans curse and can actually sing some lovely low notes). However his favorite thing ever is composing music. He’s responsible for almost a seventh of all the mettaton movie backgrounds after the crash. He’s also written songs for a few local and famous bands.

Things he loves: the color royal purple, sour gummy worms, art in any form, shiny keychains, band merch, music in any form, goofy looking tshirts and sneakers, open world video games, VR, his pet ferret Mr boogie.

His magic weapon is a guitar he uses as a mace lol. His special ability is is making little star “emotes” appear above his head every time he’s excited. (It’s really cute). His birthday is February 15.

Vibrato:

Vibrato is the younger brother at 36 and stands a whopping 6’8 feet tall. He has standard purple magic and also has freckles, however they only appear on his arms. Vibrato is cheeky, kind, a tiny bit flirty, and seems to draw crowds of monsters and people to him. He’s extremely charismatic and loves people. He’s a bit naive and innocent however so he’s fiercely protected by his true friends from the rabid fans

Vibrato is an amazing singer. His voice has beautiful range and volume, and he has trained it since he was practically a baby. Vibrato sings with his AUs mettaton, mettatune, in a band called Look Skyward. He also can play the bass. When he isn’t touring he does a bit of acting and has appeared in a few movies too as a side role.

Things he loves: bright orange, strawberry cake, neat nail art, karaoke of course, singing, playing his instruments, his big bro and friends, watching sparring matches, feather boas, drink mixing

His magic weapon is a tommy pistol modeled after mettatunes Wild West themed concert from when he was a teen. His special ability is being able to hold his breath for nearly 10 minutes. (The skeleton monster average is 4). Vibrato was born on March 2nd.

Side characters:

Gallery: theatretale Asgore, gallery is a snide snobbish monster. He’s a merciless critic and composed and elegant. Despite his love for the arts, his talent landed him as a supreme judge instead. He can always be counted on to judge criminals logically and without mockery. His soulmate Antoine also works in the judicial system as another judge.

Melody: theatretale toriel. Like the outertale royals, she and gallery are actually siblings! Twins to be exact. She was never actually a royal until after the crash when she agreed to take the ritual to give them extra help, and the theatre monsters another representative. Melody is prideful and logical like her brother, but with more of a kind side. She funds the arts in ebotts education systems and helps schools pick out kids with talent. She also runs some charities for low income families. Her soulmate Belle is a stay at home parent currently taking care of their twin babies.

Antoine: the soulmate of gallery, she is a soft and plump cat monster with sage green magic and white fur. Antoine doesn’t like the spotlight and is a master at avoiding the paparazzi

Belle: the soulmate of melody, she is a gorgeous black furred goat monster with curling horns and a soft pink magic. She recently had their first kids, twin goat monsters, and is on maternity leave with them.

Mettatune: theatretales mettaton, he loves everything music of course and has always focused on concerts and albums over movies and theme parks like the other mettas. He’s very possessive over his workers and doesn’t like to share them so his team is pretty exclusive, even down to the janitor. A great honor and a greater responsibility.

[manicdragondreamgirl]

I haven’t had chemistry since like 2008, and I’m also an idiot who likes to make my friends upset, so I rated the periodic table in order to tilt my friends:

Hydrogen - this is like your childhood friend who has always been with you more or less and always will be down to get a drink and chill even tho you haven’t spoken in years. Solid bro imo 7.5/10

Helium - always down for a good time, even if probably created Alvin and the Chipmunks which in some places is considered a war crime. 4/10

Lithium - Gives me bitchy vibes and is flammable as fuck if I remember. Skinny bitch with an attitude 3/10

Beryllium - idk this sounds like a sailor moon villain lol for that it can have a 6/10

Boron - more like BORONG amirite ha ha wait no seriously I have no idea lol 5/10 clean neutral rating

Carbon - *screaming* 2/10 I will not be taking questions

Nitrogen - cool cool cool tight tight tight 9/10 Nitrogen just is the cool hot chick you wish you were

Oxygen - kid who takes up all the glory for the group project even tho you did all the work, 4/10 for natural charisma

Fluorine - lol what are you knockoff chlorine lmfao bitch 3/10 reminds me of the dentist

Neon - I can vibe with this boy for his contributions to signs which cause my eyes to scream 8/10 modernized Art Deco thanks you

Sodium - 10/10 this is me and I won’t be taking questions next element

Magnesium - magnesium is a close relative of magnificent and therefore I think the case is closed folks 9/10

Aluminum - 10/10 for providing a home to my Diet Coke addiction I’d be dead without you

Silicon - 6.9/10 :smirk:

Phosphorous - This has a very soundly name and it’s welcome to do that but idk, not a fan, seems like he’d be smelly, 2/10

Sulfur - 1/10 pretty sure that dog farts are purely comprised of this and as such if I was leaving negative ratings I would

Chlorine - 7.8/10 for being in pools so we could swim without brain eating amoeba in the south you a champ

Argon - he seems like a nerd jk this guy has a good color 9/10 for just being himself

Potassium - I hate bananas and this word gives me the physical sensation of biting into one but only by thinking of abstract letters and making them into something which we can nutrientise from bananas and to me that shit is bananas, b a n a n a s — 3/10 for making me sing hollaback girl thru adhd word association

Calcium - hm my brain went to mega milk so you get a 2/10 today bud I don’t make the rules

Scandium - pretty sure this is fake lol what’s next faxdium, e-Mailite and copinium? 5/10

Titanium - this song’s a banger and also is the only thing that lets me wear earrings 10/10

Vanadium - if your erection lasts for longer than like idk it’s supposed to then don’t take vanadium wait what do you mean it’s not an ED treatment 4/10

Chromium - decent bloke shame the browser eats all your memory 5/10

Manganese - if a weeb tries to tell me how to pronounce mayonnaise one more time... 1/10

Iron - excellent tool against the fey, in your blood, what a bro, 10/10 this bitch slaps

Cobalt - has a powerful energy; I respect him. 8/10

Nickel - if I had a nickel for every time someone made this joke lol 5/10 he’s doing his best

Copper - taste bad 3/10

Zinc - isn’t that the dude in the green tunic and white tights who saves premcess Lelda or something lol 7/10 those games are good

Gallium - seems like a prick 4/10

Germanium - sounds like a child pronouncing geraniums which are superior 3/10

Arsenic - bad vibes coach 1/10

Selenium - isn’t this just sailor moon lol 10/10 love this bitch

Bromine - farmine wherever you aremine - 9/10 I love a good bro

Krypton - he’s okay I guess 5/10

Rubidium - yet another Steven universe villain who will be redeemed I imagine 4/10 seems a bit dull

Strontium - I feel nothing when I see this lad’s name and that seems like a shame 1/10 I don’t like it

Yttrium - this is an atrium in Yharnam, or something 8/10 would love to sit in one and make contact with higher beings

Zirconium - oh wait THIS is the sailor moon villain from the dead moon circus! 9/10 I enjoyed that arc

Niobium - seems sassy, I like that in an element 7/10

Molybdenum - I hate this one, rancid. 1/10 for making me have flashbacks to difficult Ancient Greek vocabulary there is no fucking way that sound combination is anything but Beta and Delta borking and then Latin being like oh imma steal that

Technetium - 6/10 decent name but seems a bit forced

Ruthenium - 5/10 kindly old lady element I guess lol

Rhodium - 10/10 this ain’t my first rhodium babee this lad has good vibes what a name what a king

Palladium - 10/10 for making me think of paladins

Silver - 12/10 I’m breaking the rules for this silver is the best it is so cool and also it is the other best tool for dealing with supernatural creatures when iron has failed you highly suggest Even if I am extremely allergic to it going into my ears...wait hold on

Cadmium - 2/10 sounds like a total douche

Indium - 8/10, i just think it’s independent and neat

Tin - 10/10 good ear sounds when involving rain and roof shapes and automatically reminds me of Nora Jones’s come away with me album which is also 10/10

Antimony - 7/10 decent protagonist good name all around seems rad

Tellurium - tell ur mom what? That’s so early 2010s league of legends humor bro 2.5/10

Iodine - strikes fear in my soul from having it poured on my wounds but this is why I have more pain tolerance than god 5.3/10

Xenon - I think this is a declension of Xena warrior princess which is a win in my eyes, 8/10

Caesium - kind of has a cunty Latin name, 4.5/10

Barium - yeah boss, bury’im! 7.5/10 I love a good mobster gag

Lanthanum - A bit pretentious on the Tolkien spectrum sorry bud 3/10 sounds like you’d be the dickwad elf everyone hates

Cerium - 6.5/10 I like this one, gives me a clean vibe

Praseodymium - the fuck who sneezed all their alphabet soup onto the paperwork and called it an element Christ we can’t keep doing this 1.5/10

Neodymium - oh my god what did I just say 1/10

Promethium - thank Christ we’re back to greek 9/10 Prometheus was a Chad I could get behind

Samarium - 5/10 gives me boring wizard vibes

Europium - 4.5/10 don’t rename opium chrissake can’t take these nerds anywhere

Gadolinium - 5/10 it’s a starship knockoff but it’s trying to be bold with the G sound

Terbium - 2/10 I don’t vibe with this one

Dysprosium - sounds like an antidepressant that has a lot of shitty side effects 3/10

Holmium - sounds like someone anxious asking their beloved to hold them 8/10 I like hurt/comfort fics

Erbium - you can’t just describe something as herby you daft bastard 2/10

Thulium - sounds like a spell I like it 8.5/10

Ytterbium - macguffin in a shite sci-fi show that gets highly overrated because BBC produced it and superwholock stans emerge and go utterly feral 1/10

Lutetium - bards are an element I agree 10/10

Hafnium - sounds like a river (my dog) sound and has a cute vibe, I’d offer it head pats 7/10

Tantalum - noooo you can’t be sad yuor so sexe haha 6.9/10 tantalizing

Tungsten - 10/10 this is a lad with history

Rhenium - 5.5/10 it’s ok

Osmium - 4/10 I wasn’t a big wizard of oz fan

Iridium - 9/10 sounds like iridescent and that’s in my top 10 favorite words and concepts

Platinum - 10/10 best Pokémon game

Gold - 7.9/10 all that glitters and all but it’s still pretty on some people, silver is better tho

Mercury - yikes 8/10 so it doesn’t kill me

Thallium - sounds like the brother character in a ps4 exclusive western rpg that oddly falls under the radar in terms of reviews and gets shafted at awards for no reason 7/10 I’ll support you tho

Lead - 2/10 that’s gonna be a no from me dawg pretty sure I still have lead in my hands from stabbing myself with my mechanical pencils

Bismuth - 6/10 sounds good in mouth and reminds me of biscuits for some reason, I’ll take it

Polonium - to thine own self be true so stop trying to act like the arts don’t influence science jk pretty sure this is named for Poland but hey that’s where we get the Witcher so you get a pass 6/10

Astatine - 1/10 I don’t even know what you are

Radon - 7/10 this motherfucker knows his shit and how to party, rad is right

Francium - I bring you francium...and I bring you myrdurdium... 7/10 for a good vine

Radium - killed the video star probably 9/10 I can get behind her

Actinium - as opposed to passtinium I prefer actinium in the voice of writing 8/10

Thorium - overrated Norse god 5/10 because lightning is still cool

Protactinum - sounds like some pretentious condom brand 4/10 wouldn’t do it with a dude who bought these

Uranium - I always thought she was a hot sailor scout 10/10

Neptunium - same for her I knew they weren’t cousins you couldn’t lie to me 4kids 10/10

Plutonium - sounds like a macguffin unfortunately 5/10

Americium - I read this with a pivotal letter missing and nearly died, 7/10 for the laugh

Curium - 10/10 gives me Curie vibes and also reminds me of curiosity which reminds me of—[old yellered before the association could set in]

Berkelium - what I shout when I want Burke (fam dog) to slaughter innocents and raze territories 2/10 world was not meant to know his commands

Californium - 1/10 California is cool with geography but probs could stand to chill with the ego sorry to my friends in Cali

Einsteinium - 6/10 it’s alright but we’re really running out of ideas huh

Fermium - 3/10 this one is porny

Mendelevium - 1/10 my brain didn’t like parsing this and I stand by my earlier statement of running out of good names

Nobelium - 0/10 you didn’t name any noble gases this cowards this gas can’t be a noble oh wait it’s NOBEL I take it back 5/10 seems an alright chap

Lawrencium - fear the old blood my sorry dead hunter’s ass I’ll never get back my life from the hours I spent trying to beat this lava shitting bastard 2/10 for being a boss who eats Taco Bell specifically before being challenged to have fresh lava shit with which to punish you for having the audacity to exist in his space

Rutherfordium - my god what a snob 4.2/10 I respect him a little but only because he sounds like a right lad

Dubnium - DROP THE BASS 10/10

Seoborgium - not sure about this one but it can have a 7/10

Bohrium - as an American English speaker this sound combination makes my pathetic throat become a black hole as I try to properly create the sound of it 10/10 I love when my body becomes a massive void in the universe

Hassium - lazy 2/10

Elements 109-118 can go fuck themselves I hate them all, collective 6.66/10 for their general demonic vibe

[au10]

Eastwood

So I watched all the westerns by Eastwood. Below you’ll find my list of what I’d say are his best to not necessarily worst just not great. Keep in mind that this list is just my opinion and yours very well may differ and hey that’s great. Also keep in mind there will be spoilers but to be fair the majority of these movies are older than me. I would also like to point out that I didn’t view Rawhide as I really didn’t seem like something I’d like. The list is as best as I can tell are all of his westerns. Some are kind of iffy as I don’t consider them a western. 

http://most-wanted-western-movies.com/clint-eastwood-westerns/

1.”Unforgiven” 1992

 My original pick was going to be “For a Few dollars more”. I re-watched Unforgiven again and have decided that Unforgiven is his best western. Made in 1992. It features Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman and Richard Harris. There might even be more stars but those are the ones that stood out to me. The plot basically goes like this. William Munny a ruthless killer back in the day settles down with a woman who changes his life. He gave up his killer ways. The wife is already dead when the movie starts and Munny stays on the good path for lack of better phrasing. I don’t want to spoil to much more but needless to say a large bounty put on some ruffians leads to some nice action. 

I love the soundtrack to this movie. Well at least one song in particular and that’s Claudia’s theme. You can YouTube if you wish. I think it’s really great. 

A couple of quotes that I enjoyed. 

“ I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned”

.”It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.“

2. “For a few dollars more” 1965

 This is the sequel to a “Fistful of dollars”. It’s part of the famous dollar trilogy movies. Made in 1965 Eastwood portrays the man with no name. I really like  Lee Van Cleef as Col. Douglas Mortimer. It’s a revenge type of western. Both Cleef and Eastwood characters are pretty much bounty hunters. Cleef has an entirely different motive for his actions though. They seem to have great chemistry together too. I also like the dialogue between them as well. Clint Eastwood's character calls Lee Van Cleef's character "old man", while Van Cleef's character calls Eastwood "boy". Once more I love the music plays when the pocket watch is opened up. 

3.” A fist full of dollars.” 1964  

The beginning if you will of the the man with no name trilogy or dollars trilogy which ever you prefer. The dollars trilogy is what you call a spaghetti western. “ Spaghetti westerns were not rated highly due to their low budgets, over the top violence and inferior art work. But, these Spaghetti Westerns changed that perception forever. Director Sergio Leone gave one after another hit and this trilogy made Clint Eastwood a mega star. “ Some people don’t like them or they find them to corny. Each to their own. I loved the movies. My father pointed out to me one of the things that bugged him was the constant camera cuts to the other characters in the film. It especially focuses on their eyes. I never noticed it until he pointed it out. I do love the scene where he confronts the bullies/bad guys. On his way to them. He passes by the undertaker and tells him to get three coffins ready. After the shootout he passes back by the undertaker and tells him my mistake 4 coffins.

4. “The Good, The bad and the Ugly.” 1966 

The last of the dollars trilogy. A lot of people will say that this is the best of the three movies. Like the previous  film it also stars Lee Van Cleef. This time though he is one of the villain’s. It’s a good movie. I enjoyed  Eli Wallach as Tuco. Once more you have the music on point with  The Ecstasy of Gold. I heard that song years earlier when Metallica would use it. My last thought on this trilogy is I do love how Eastwood is always smoking those little cigars. I have read though he actually hated them.

“ You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig. “

5. “Two Mules for Sister Sara” 1970

This one is a film I really liked. It doesn’t seem to be as serious as the previous I’ve listed above. It actually has quite a few comedic moments in it. I think one of the best parts of the movie is after Hogan (Eastwood) saves Sara from impending doom. She gets dressed and comes back out in her nun gear. Once Hogan realizes she is a known his expression is great then he exclaims “Jesus Christ”. I noticed this movie had blood in it. A lot of the earlier ones don’t. One guy gets his arm cut off and one takes a machete to the face. It’s a good movie and I enjoyed it. I should note the soundtrack or at least one song they play over at times in the film is a play on the title. It sounds like a mule actually braying. Pretty nifty. 

6. “Pale Rider” 1985

Another good movie. Eastwood is just known as the preacher in this movie. He helps out a prospect town from becoming a mining town. When the prospectors will not give up their land. A marshal and his deputies are sent in to get prospectors out. It’s hinted at that the marshal may know the preacher form the way he reacts after told his description. This is definitely one of my favorites though. It does get a little weird with the preacher having intercourse with a guy’s girlfriend. The action is great though. It should be noted that it’s been told that Eastwood’s charter is a ghost in this film. Richard Kiel is in this movie as well. He is a well established actor. Most likely known for playing Jaws in Moonraker. 

7. Outlaw Josey wales 1976

A lot of people like this movie. It’s Eastwoods only PG rated western. It’s once more a revenge type western. Josey’s family is murdered by the Union army and he joins a confederate group to get his revenge. I think one of the best parts in the movie is when Josey shoots the rope holding a ferry going across the river. Some of the Union soldiers horses fall into the river preventing them from reaching Wales. This movie is said to be George Strait’s favorite. I did find it funny that the old man in charge of the ferry was playing to both sides. If you were a Confederate he would sing “Dixie” if you were a Union solider he would sing “Battle hymn of the republic” Ever the opportunist I suppose. 

"Well Mr. Carpetbagger, we got something in this territory called a Missoura boat ride!"

"Well are ya' gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?"

8.”High plains drifter” 1973

This movie could be almost a part of the man with no name trilogy. It’s just not as good. I liked the midget character named Mordecai . He is one of the best in the movie and funny. This is one of the movies where it’s possible that the stranger (Eastwood’s character) could be a ghost. Some people say he is the sheriff’s brother. Eastwood has said that himself. Then again some people say he is the ghost of the sheriff himself. It’s up to the viewer and how you choose to interpret it. This movie also marks the first movie Eastwood directed that was a western.

“You're going to look pretty silly with that knife sticking out of your ass.“

9. “Hang’em High” 1968

This was Eastwoods first major role in America. The Dollars trilogy had yet to come out over here in America. Jed  (Eastwoods character) is wrongfully hanged by a posse. He naturally seeks revenge after being rescued. He becomes a Marshal and winds up bringing some of the posse to justice. It also stars Pat Hingle. I really only know him from Tim Burton’s Batman. He played Commissioner Gordon. 

10. “Joe Kidd” 1972

To be honest with you this movie really doesn’t do anything for me at all. It’s not a bad movie but it’s not one that really captivates me either. It stars Robert Duvall as a rich/wealthy landowner trying to push Mexicans off of their land. He hires Eastwood’s character named Joe Kidd. It does have some decent moments. A pretty cool scene shows Kidd taking out a gunman upon a rock. The final fight is also pretty neat where Kidd drives a train through the bar.

Honorable Mentions: 

1.”Bronco Billy” 1980

This movie was on the list and I viewed it. I liked it. Eastwood plays a carnival showman. It’s your typical story of guy and girl don’t get along. Then as the movie progresses they start to get along and wind up with one another. It’s not a western but it has the theme. It does have  Scatman Crothers in it as Doc. Throw in a crooked lawyer and a crooked husband and this is the movie you have. 

2. “Paint your wagon” 1969 

This set during the gold rush. It is a musical though and you can get the soundtrack on itunes. I heard about this movie from The Simpsons years ago. It doesn’t have a western feel to me. Eastwood plays Pardner. It’s a cool little musical. It’s an interesting movie though. A Mormon has two wives and he sells one. Well Pardner and his partner Ben rum son played by Lee Marvin buys her. Elizabeth the wife that was purchased basically has two husbands. It’s really a good movie. My favorite song being “Wand’rin Star”

3. “The Beguiled” 1971

They had this movie on the list and there again I witched it. It’s certainly not a western. It’s okay. Eastwood kind of plays a bad guy in it but only to survive. Set in the Civil War era. He is an injured Union solider rescued by a little girl. She takes him to an all girls school. It should be noted that this is the only movie in which a character portrayed by Eastwood dies. 

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (12/1/2020)?

calvatronlordofall said: Today’s comics?

Far Sector #9: Another comic I won’t understand until it’s done and I can reread the whole thing but that I’m enjoying anyway. Really, really hope Jemisin continues contributing to the medium in some form after this, because she absolutely has a gift for it.

Strange Adventures #7: He doesn’t care for tyranny, folks. And JEEESSSUUUUS, Doc

DCeased: Dead Planet #6: Some quality DC Comics nonsense problem-solving, but not sure at all whether the chips are gonna fall in favor of the stuff about this I’ve been really liking or the aspects I simply don’t care about at all.

Tales From The Dark Multiverse: Wonder Woman: War Of The Gods: While I’ve seen plenty of them around the periphery in anthologies and so forth I think this is Vita Ayala’s first full work I’ve been exposed to, and tbh I can’t say I’m taken, even given the pretty threadbare-seeming material for them to work with. I’ll still give Children of the Atom a try, but my expectations have been lowered. Nice seeing Trish Mulviihill’s colors though, thought they looked familiar and it turns out she worked on my beloved Superman & Bugs Bunny.

Batman: The Adventures Continue #7: Yeah, now that it’s all said and done, definitely the best take on the death and return of Jason Todd.

Batman #104: Art’s taken a hit, but Ghostmaker’s getting more and more fun as a character the more that comes out about him. And surprising seeing Dick in his real Robin suit in flashback, Dark Designs had him still rocking that New 52 abomination. It really seems like the policy RE: costumes in flashbacks with him remains up in the air at any given time?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the long-awaited BatCat?

Anonymous said: Bat/Cat the objectively best comic of the week. Thots.

Batman/Catwoman #1: I imagine disappointingly, quite few - both the best and worst part of this book is that King’s entire spiel on “This is gonna be such a different animal from my regular run, this is my DKR, this is my ultimate prestige statement on the characters” was pure hype, this is just the next issue of his Batman run with Clay Mann as the new main artist. And it’s good! I like it! I think it’d take awhile for anybody to tumble onto the ‘three timelines’ aspect of it if they didn’t go in knowing about it since the color of Catwoman’s suit is the only obvious tipoff for a chunk of it, but it’s still a well-constructed piece of comics in line with the story up to this point, even if it’s so in line with it that it pretty much puts the lie to the notion that this was originally conceived of as a special prestige project in the same way as Strange Adventures or Rorschach. Mostly I’m just struck now that it’s out by the guts of doing a straight sequel to Mask of the Phantasm, given that’s maybe the singularly least divisive major Batman story: everybody on every side of the Batman-loving aisle recognizes it as hallowed ground, so nobody’s gonna not be let down if you fuck it up. I really need to rewatch it, it’s been well over a decade and unlike Return of the Joker my memories of it have almost entirely faded.

Black Widow #4: The further in I get the more I’m struck by the cleverness of the central conceit. How do you construct a drama around a century-old woman whose business has her have to mostly forsake most normal human connection? Make the literal supervillain plot that she’s been forced to have incredibly intimate human connections, and now she’s just gotta deal with that on top of what would otherwise be fairly routine Black Widow stuff.

Miles Morales: Spider-Man #21: Hate to say it folks, but even discounting the severity of the delays this arc’s been a dud. Really hoping it finds its feet again soon.

King In Black #1: Holy cow, this was ass. I went in thinking “well, I’ve resigned myself to having to get this to understand the crossovers into books I’m already getting and tie-in minis I do care about, but Cates still has a baseline level of competency so it should still be perfectly readable”, but this is just...nothing. This is that modern Dan Jurgens tier where it’s so bland and perfunctory and inoffensively executed it loops back around to infuriating, except Dan Jurgens’s writing if nothing else at least doesn’t strut around in tangible self-regard as the next great sales-shattering triumph of the Punk Rock God Of Comixxx like Cates’. And when was the last Marvel event on this scale with such little hype behind it? Even Empyre seemed like it had more weight on arrival, and much as I enjoyed it I’m pretty sure that book mainly existed to fill space until we got this. Maybe it’s just the circle I run in. I swear I remember Thanos Wins being pretty fun, and I just reread Atomahawk and that was still a hoot, so it’s a shame Cates has turned out this way, and worse he’s ended up Marvel’s new golden boy. Unless my dad likes it (and if so hey, he’s not alone, I imagine this is selling gangbusters) I’m sure not grabbing another issue, so I guess I’ll have to do my best with context clues in figuring out what’s going on for...Guardians of the Galaxy, S.W.O.R.D., Daredevil, Namor, Return of the Valkyries, the Joe Fixit Immortal Hulk one-shot, Iron Man/Doctor Doom, and the next book below. Fuck.

The Union #1: I’ve only read Everything Used To Be Black And White for Jack Staff but I was definitely curious what Grist would do here, and it didn’t disappoint! Fun little story, bunch of neat character ideas I’m looking forward to seeing developed further, very lived-in feeling slice of its corner of a superhero world.

Marvels Snapshots: Civil War: An excellent little parable that I’m surprised we didn’t actually see the likes of in ‘06, and frankly worth getting a mediocre Miles Morales arc for (even if it was disappointing that that one had to be where the ball was dropped) if this is where Ahmed’s attention was going instead.

Daredevil #25: So I turned two pages at once and accidentally spoiled myself at the last possible moment for the big reveal of the issue, so that sucks. Still a great issue though - one that manages to function as a logical extension of an incredibly street-level story even though it can only possibly exist as an extrapolation of the wildest excesses of the Marvel universe - but I cannot imagine how the hell the next is gonna cleanly pivot into King in Black shenanigans.

Kill A Man: A new OGN by Steve Orlando, cowritten with Phillip Kennedy Johnson and with art by Al Morgan and letters by Jim Campbell, the reductive though not inaccurate pitch is ‘queer Creed’. But since this is likely to sail under the radar I need to emphasize this is one of Orlando’s absolute best works, a real triumph of the form that’s among the best comics of the year (good GOD does this put to shame 99% of superhero comics fight scenes by the end), and a must-buy for any fans of his work. I’m just gonna let how hard the title and solicit text go speak for themselves:

“As a child, James Bellyi watched his father die in the ring as payback for slurs thrown at the other fighter. Today, he's a Mixed Martial Arts star at the top of his game, and one of the most popular fighters in the world...until he's outed as gay in his title shot press conference. Abandoned overnight by his training camp, his endorsements, his fans and his sport, to regain his title shot Bellyi is forced to turn to the last person he ever wants to see again: Xavier Mayne, a gay, once-great fighter in his own right...and the man James once watched kill his father.”

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Much Beloved Dickinson

PART ELEVEN OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: plentiful pop culture references 

Word Count: 2.7K

Summary: Ella comes to a realization.

Caught up in the music, Ella ran her hands through his hair. She felt his palms on her waist, firm but not too much. Not hungry. Sweet. He was sweeter than she thought he would be, a rain which refreshed instead of dampened. But then, the song switched. Ella felt reality coming back to her, unable to be shamelessly ignorant, indulging in her senses. Putting a hand on his chest, she pulled away from him. His hands still ghosted over her hips, not yet ready to let go. They breathed heavily, both flushed. Jess began to smirk, and Ella almost followed him, but then her face fell and she turned away.

“Oh, fuck,” she muttered to herself, clutching her necklace.

Jess furrowed his brows and reached out to touch her, not quite far enough. “Elle, I-”

“No, Jess. You have a girlfriend,” she spoke slowly, turning back to him. Her expression was guarded, unreadable. “And I just kissed you and you kissed me back. And you have a girlfriend and now we’re the kind of people who-”

“Wait, hold on, I can call Shane right now and-”

“Just like you’ll call me when the next girl comes along?” she interjected, crossing her arms over her chest.

Taking a step back, Jess couldn’t help but feel slightly wounded at the accusation. “There won’t be a next girl.”

“Yeah, right,” she scoffed, making to leave.

Jess barely had time to process what was going on before she was making her way down the stairs. But then, he started after her, calling her name.

“Can we just sit down and talk about this?”

“Nothing to talk about,” she shot back in a clipped tone, rushing down. Luke stood at the counter refilling stray coffee cups, and she didn’t cast him more than a second of a glance before going to grab her bag. “Luke, I don’t feel well. I gotta go.”

“What? Ella, wait-” Luke said, confusion etched on his features, but she had already disappeared down the street, out of the view of the diner’s window.

Bounding after her, Jess nearly made it out the door before Luke caught him by the shoulder.

“Get off me,” Jess growled, but Luke held firm.

“What happened up there?” Luke demanded, turning his nephew to look him in the eye.

Jess scoffed, finally shaking Luke off. “Nothing.”

“Oh, yeah? Where’s Ella goin’?”

“I don’t know, Columbo. Why don’t you go ask her?” Jess shot back, brow heavy and eyes dark.

Before Luke could continue with the interrogation, Jess slipped past him, the bell over the door ringing cheerily. Luke stood there for a moment, fuming, and didn’t bother to go after Jess to tell him he’d started in the opposite direction of Ella.

.   .   .

Thoughts racing, Ella sat against her bedroom wall, sketchbook in hand. Over the record player speakers, Jeff Buckley crooned. The summer evening had brought with it heavy thunderclouds. Air hot with lightning, Ella knew the rains would start soon. The dim light of the lamp on her nightstand gave her room a cozy glow, tinged pink from the paint on the walls. She wished she had watercolors. Back in the art room of Stars Hollow High, a series of her morbid drawings painted over with dull watercolor hung on a cork board. Unless, of course, Mrs. Shaw had taken them down over the summer. At least with the new school year, she could add some new pieces to her collection.

Even after a phone call with Rory, and another with Lane, she couldn’t shake the sick feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t identify its origin. Dread for school? Regret over Jess? Excitement over Jess? Guilt. That one she knew was present. Shane wasn’t exactly her best friend, but she certainly never planned to make out with her boyfriend as revenge. No matter how many Interpol songs he played her.

But it was the way he’d been looking at her, soft and clean. Unlike any look she’d seen him give anyone else. Of course, she’d had butterflies when he’d looked at her before. She’d never felt anything more, though. She figured it was a crush: a blushy, embarrassing phase which would eventually pass. Nothing to ruin a solid friendship over.

But as the song played, the one which reminded him of her, he shot her that brown-eyed look. With his smart mouth and his rough attitude and his hidden kindness. She knew it wasn’t a crush. It was more, something swelling in her heart like she couldn’t describe. Radiating from her soul and circulating throughout her being. And she’d seen no other choice but to kiss him. In a way, she felt so silly. Had she missed it all this time? Swapped books and spare t-shirts and care packages and borrowed beds. Jess.

She bit her lip, her pencil poised over her empty page. Nothing would flow, nothing would come. Everything was too jumbled inside her head. For a moment, she was tempted to just scribble mindlessly, but decided against it. Why waste a page on someone who didn’t really want her? She knew he didn’t. He couldn’t.

A sudden flash from childhood came to her. Her mother and father. The touches, the whispers, the small gifts which meant more than their price. Her parents had seemed the model couple, a love story which was meant to last forever, and be told as an inspiration to gullible children. But it didn’t last. Love didn’t last. Love didn’t exist. The feeling in Ella’s stomach, the look in Jess’s eyes, it was all a lie. People said they loved each other, but in the end, it was all a fleeting feeling.

With the murmurs of the new couple, Fiona and her father, coming through the neighboring walls, even over the music, she shook her head. Did they have love? She doubted it. Despite the modest rock on Fiona’s left hand. Jewels. It was flashy, sparkly, but it was just a stand-in for something substantive which didn’t exist. A stupid tradition masking a lie, like the basket sale with a much higher price tag.

Sighing heavily, she shut the book, tossing the pencil in the direction of her desk and missing. Huffing out a breath, she laid back against the king mattress, all squeaking springs, with dips on either side from where her parents had slept for so many years. Fiona had requested a new bed upon moving in. Ella had debated not taking it, but at the time the mattress had still smelled like her mother. It was too painful to let it go. The comforter was cool against her flustered skin. Ansty nerves rushed through her, buzzing. She wanted to forget it, to go about her business. Take an extra shift at the diner or go for a walk around town. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop replaying the moment over and over.

Employing a new strategy, she grabbed a book from the pile next to one of her crate nightstands. A reluctant smile crossed her face as she saw the cover. Final Harvest, the first Emily Dickinson collection she’d shared with Jess. And she tried to stare at the text, the beauty of the simple words. Instead she got caught up in the pencil marks covering nearly every page, every blank space. Between the blocks of messy cursive she recognized as her own, she ran her eyes over Jess’s countless comments, in his surprisingly neat, if spiky, scrawl.

You told me she wrote about flowers, not death. I feel criminally duped, Stevens.

Do you believe in ghosts? I bet you don’t buy that shit. I don’t either.

Shakespeare wrote so much about the sun, just like her. I don’t think the moon gets enough credit. You seem like a moon person too. (That’s code for vampire)

Scratch that, I changed my mind. You’re not a sun person or a moon person. You’re a star person. Definitely.

Okay, that line was pretty beautiful. You win this time, Eleanor. (The battle, not the war. I bet that Kerouac I just gave you will finally make you see the error of your tastes.)

Swallowing dryly, she bit back a smile. At his words, at his writing, at the thought of him. And, before she could think better of it, she flipped to the final page, to a note she’d run her fingers over more than once. And, after all the months she’d known him, she felt like she was really reading it for the first time.

Alright, I read your much beloved Dickinson.

I have to admit, she wasn’t half bad. You happy? I hope you are. But, rest assured, this isn’t over. I will convince you how good Hemingway is, no matter how close-minded about him you are. Yes, he was a drunk. But Dickinson was an invalid. It cancels out. No question. No quarter.

And there are so many more beats awaiting you. Some many fights we’re going to have. Can’t wait, right? Put on your dancing shoes, Stevens. The best is yet to come.

Turning her head, she gazed over the stack of books. Countless spines, tattered and new, broken and intact, all filled with notes. To the words, to the author, to each other. Mostly to each other. How could she not have seen it before? She thought he was her friend, maybe even her best friend. The one she saw every day, even in the absence of Rory or Lane. Who cheered her up on Mother’s Day, on her birthday, brought her a care package when she had a headache. But it had always been more. The feeling had always been there, underneath their layers of mock anger and annoyance, silly arguments and endless talks.

The knot in her stomach tightened even more, and she sat up straight in her bed. Lightning flashed outside, the sky an angry shade of grayish purple. A bruise. She didn’t know what she felt, she didn’t know much. But, suddenly, all the other thoughts went from her mind. And her desire was so singular all she could do was tug on her shoes, rushing out the door. It didn’t have to be decided. She already knew. She didn’t have to have it all figured out, but she knew there was no use in ignorance. Sitting in her room, letting the doubt close in on her. It was fruitless. Maybe once, the world wouldn’t bite.

.   .   .

Electricity filled the air, smelling of the storm to come, and it pressed down on the people of Stars Hollow. Few milled about on the streets, though most were hunkered down in their homes. A Saturday spent indoors, though not altogether wasted. She made it to the diner in no time, the soles of her converse smacking on the sidewalk as she bounded over and up the steps. The bell overtop the front door jingled, and a few customers peppered the tables, halfway through their dinners. Luke had his palms pressed against the counter, leaning over to talk to Lorelai as she sat at one of the stools. Ella made for the two of them immediately.

“Where’s Jess?”

Luke’s happy expression dropped and he sighed tiredly. “I don’t know. He stormed out right after you.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella nodded. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear,” Luke said flatly.

Ella wanted to roll her eyes, but knew the sass was warranted. She had walked out in the middle of a shift, after all.

“What happened with Jess?” Lorelai chimed in, sipping on her nightly coffee.

Blowing out a small breath, Ella debated her next words carefully. “Remember when you told me not to fall for him? The torches and pitchforks conversation?”

Lorelai nodded, face darkening. If there was one thing she knew, it was teenage girls. “It comes to mind, yes.”

“Well, it’s too late. And it’s about to rain, a real killer for torches. Just a waste of money, at this point,” she explained dryly

Then, she had spun away, whisking out of the diner and leaving the two of them speechless in her wake. Urgency made her heart pound, though she knew it wasn’t dire. She could talk to him tomorrow. Maybe at the diner, maybe in the apartment, maybe in school on Monday. But, for whatever reason, she felt she might never get it out if she wanted a moment too long. She had to see him, to end the suspense, to rip off the bandaid which was nearly a year in the making.

First, she checked the gazebo. Empty. As was the bus stop where he often sat reading, waiting to leave for a shift at Shangri-la. But then it seemed so clear. The bridge. Of course. She raced over, biting at her polished nails. Lo and behold, he sat with a worn book in his hand. His legs dangled over the edge, boots nearly skimming the water. The hazy, cloudy evening darkened his form, and a wave of nerves washed over her when she saw him. Her heart was in her throat, but she pushed forward, one foot in front of the other.

“Jess.”

He looked up from his book as she approached him, tentative footfalls on the old wood. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she replied, and watched him stand slowly, rigidly.

He stuffed the novel in his back pocket and had his mouth set in a thin line, arms crossed. Clearing his throat, he watched her shift her weight from foot to foot uncomfortably, gathering the courage to speak. It was odd, seeing her in such a state. On a normal day, she was nothing if not blunt.

Taking a deep breath, she matched his gaze. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean any of it about the next girl and everything. I don’t know where that came from. I just...panicked.”

“I’ll say.”

“Right. And I didn’t mean to. But...Shane’s not my favorite person in the world, but she doesn’t deserve it.”

Jess nodded solemnly. “Guess not.”

Another deep breath, and she continued. “Did you…?”

“I broke up with her, yeah. Despite the vehement protests,” Jess said. He ran a hand over his mouth, and reminded himself not to get his hopes up. Not after so long keeping them down.

“Okay. Well…” she trailed off, struggling for words. But, eventually, it came to her. The truth, the words spilling from her mind directly to her mouth. “Look, Jess, most of the time, I don’t see the point in dating. I don’t see people who actually care about each other. I see people who are kidding themselves.”

“I know,” he said, a sigh in his words. She could see his shoulders slouch slightly, and he bowed his head a little in defeat, preparing for the words he thought would come next.

“But that’s most of the time.”

Jess looked up again.

“Not since...not since you got here. Not when I’m with you.”

A small smile began to grow on his lips and his eyebrows shot up. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she answered, ringing her hands in front of her anxiously as she spoke.

Nodding again, he took a few steps forward, until she was close enough to touch, but he kept his arms over his chest. “Okay.”

“Well, don’t overshare, chatty Kathy,” she quipped at his shortness. The smirk lasted only a second on her face before the serious expression she’d been holding returned. “But if we’re gonna do this, I wanna do it. No cop-outs. I want to try. Really try.” Then, after a pause: “What about you?”

The dimple in Jess’s cheek shone as his smile widened. He uncrossed his arms and shrugged as though he were cavalier. “Eleanor, you’re the only person I wanna talk to. You’re the only person I like. You’re the person I wanna try with.”

Finally, a matching smile bloomed on her face and she let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding in. “You promise?”

“Promise.”

“Well, I’m glad we sorted that out.”

“Me too.”

A momentary pause ensued between them. Joy surged in Jess’s heart, but he suddenly felt nervous, even awkward. Cheeks warming, he wanted to reach out to her. But he couldn’t find it within himself. It didn’t seem real. She didn’t seem real. He almost felt like he needed a moment to regroup. But, then, Ella shifted and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. Thunder sounded overheard, rolling over town.

“You wanna go somewhere?” she asked.

“Anywhere,” he replied, a smirk on his face, hand relaxing in her grip.

“Well,” she said, leading the way back to town and giving his hand a squeeze, “that narrows it down.”

[mst3kproject]

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Holidays, MSTies!  Your present is Episodes that Never Were are back!  Remember last year, when I said Elves was so bad I wished I’d watched the Star Wars Holiday Special instead?  Let’s find out what those words taste like.

The galaxy may be in the midst of a rebellion, but Chewbacca promised his family he will be back for Life Day, and god damn it, he’s gonna get there!  He and Han Solo dodge Imperial forces and asteroid fields on the way, but the real danger may be waiting for them at home, as Stormtroopers do a treehouse-to-treehouse search for rebel sympathizers.  It won’t be much of a holiday if Chewie arrives home only to be immediately arrested!

That sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  It even sounds like it could be made to mean something. There is perhaps a point here about inter-ethnic empathy – Life Day may be a Wookiee holiday, but Chewbacca’s alien friends still know how important it is to him and they’re gonna help him keep his promise.  We could also compare it to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.  In that movie, the Martians want to celebrate Christmas but aren’t particularly interested in what it means.  They get all their information about it from pirated television and from children who don’t understand anything much more than ‘free stuff’.  We didn’t give Christmas to them, they literally stole it by kidnapping Santa.  In the Holiday Special, the Wookiees are sharing their cultural traditions with outsiders who have become part of their family – Leia’s speech at the ends notes the humans’ respect for this.

But none of that’s relevant, because this is just a bad 70’s variety hour in a Star Wars costume.  We don’t get to see claustrophobic scenes of our brave heroes hiding from the Storm Troopers.  We don’t get sweeping space battles or bickering robots or weird new planets… we don’t get anything we go to see Star Wars for.  Instead, we mostly watch the Wookiees sitting around their house passing the time as they wait helplessly for Chewbacca to get home.  This could have been neat in itself if Wookiees had an interesting culture, but they live in a Mod 70’s Treehouse and seem to spend most of their time watching television.  The brief opening sequence, in which Solo and Chewie outrun their pursuers in the Millennium Falcon, is just a tantalizing offer of chocolate on the tip of a giant turd.

The actual point of the show, as far as the people who produced it were concerned, was the various little musical numbers and comedy sequences along the way, some of which are more Star Wars-themed than others.  Most of these are presented as one or other of the characters watching them on some form of television, which often doesn’t make any sense.  The sequences themselves are usually not very well-presented and a lot of them are just downright boring, so let’s go through them one by one. Top up your eggnog, folks.  We may be here a while.

Our first setpiece is a holographic circus featuring jugglers and acrobats, which the adults use to distract Lumpy so he’ll stop bothering them – like parents at the mall letting their kids watch Paw Patrol on a tablet while they shop.  When you see televised circus acts, they’re usually filmed up close and at interesting angles, to heighten the sense of danger, and give you a good look at what’s going on.  The Star Wars Holiday Special presents it as tiny figures on a table, always shot from far away and looking down, which removes all the drama from the stunts.  Lumpy enlarges a figure, but it’s only the ringmaster.  The others remain tiny, all while this little Wookiee looms over them like a kaiju that will start stomping if it isn’t entertained.

Then we get Mark Hamill’s cameo (in which he looks weirdly like one of the puppets from Invaders from the Deep), followed by Malla’s attempt to cook Bantha Surprise by following the directions on a tv show.  I’m not very interested in cooking shows anyway, but I have a hard time imagining anybody being interested in a fake cooking show featuring fictional ingredients from other planets.  What we see on Malla’s screen comes across as a sort of parody, but not actually a funny one. I’m tempted to think Harvey Korman must have been making fun of some particular 70’s cooking show maven but I don’t begin to know who that might be.

The ‘humour’ of the sequence is supposed to come from Malla’s attempt to follow the directions even though the cook on the show has four arms and Malla only two.  I could pull some commentary on ableism in cooking and cooking shows out of this, but it would be a stretch, and nobody on the writing end was thinking about it that hard.  It’s just stupid, and so is Korman’s plastic wig.  Malla eventually turns it off in frustration, long after we’re tired of listening to it.

By the way, if you’re wondering whose stupid idea it was to set the whole thing on Kashyyyk (or, as a guy in the Special calls it, Kazook) and not have any subtitles to the Wookiee’s dialogue?  That was apparently 100% George Lucas.  The actual script and everything was in the hands of the television producers, but Lucas would not budge on the premise being Wookiee-centric.  At least he exorcised that particular demon here, instead of subjecting us to it on the big screen.

Anyway, next Art Carney drops by to deliver some Life Day presents, among which is the source of our next setpiece: a VR machine which reads Itchy’s mind to present a personalized fantasy!  This takes the form of Diahann Carroll in a sparkly feather wig, singing a song and saying things like “I am your fantasy, experience me!”  The song is okay, I guess, and Carroll has a lovely voice, but what we’re seeing is basically a boring music video.  She’s just standing there on a glittery black background, and we can’t forget that she’s singing to a geriatric Wookiee who is doing the Wookiee equivalent of jacking off to this (emphasized by the appearance of literal little swimmers in part of the sequence!).  The fact that it’s a personal fantasy plucked from his subconscious makes it feel like this was something we weren’t supposed to be privy to, like we’re looking through somebody else’s computer at his girlfriend’s nudes.

Princess Leia (also looking disturbingly puppet-like… are we sure the actual actors appeared in this, and not look-a-likes in heavy makeup?) and C3P0 get their cameo, and then there’s the single actually effective moment in the Special.  This is when we think Han Solo and Chewie are about to arrive home, ending our torment a full hour early, but no, it’s the Storm Troopers!  This bit isn’t fantastic, but it does work.  Then, sadly, we’re on to the next variety act.

This is a holographic music video which Carney shows to the Imperial troops as a demonstration that the device he has brought Malla for Life Day is harmless.  It’s Jefferson Starship moaning out a rock song, in which I can understand at best one word in three.  The visuals are in intense soft-focus that’s probably supposed to be artsy.  The costumes (what I can see of them) aren’t any more Star-Wars-y than anything else bands wore in the 70’s.  And the song sounds like something you’d find in the ‘easy’ setting on Rock Band.  Why does Black Helmet sit there and watch the whole thing when he’s supposed to be searching every house on Kashyyyk/Kazook for rebel sympathizers?

The version of the Special currently available on YouTube, which tragically lacks the commercials, has a lot of comments along the lines of this is what you hallucinate after buying Death Sticks from that guy on Coruscant.

To drive the point home, the next thing we see is Lumpy watching a cartoon about Han Solo and Chewbacca crash-landing on an ocean planet while searching for a mystical talisman that makes things invisible (I wish they hadn’t actually shown this object – then I could have made jokes about it being the One Ring).  This sequence is generally regarded as the best thing in the Special, and it introduced Boba Fett and provided some characterization for him.  It is definitely true that this is the only segment with a plot, and with its weird aliens and grubby outposts it feels a lot more like Star Wars than anything else going on here.

The main thing that keeps me from enjoying this segment is that it just looks weird.  The animators use exaggerated squash-and-stretch on the droids, even more so than on the living characters, which makes them look like they’re made out of jell-o. Princess Leia looks like something out of a cheap 60’s manga and Luke like he was drawn by a twelve-year-old based on an action figure that wasn’t actually of Luke Skywalker.  Luke has no pupils, which is very distressing, but not as distressing as when C3P0 blinks.  Even worse, as far as I can tell Han Solo has no eyes at all.

The design of the alien planet in this sequence is pretty cool, though.  It appears to be entirely covered in a kind of goopy ocean and the creatures that live in it are neat-looking, even if not terribly plausible.  Animation is really a great medium for fantasy and science fiction, because it levels the playing field: we’re not thinking about the special effects because everything on screen looks equally unreal.  This is something Disney, who used it to such beautiful effect in Lilo and Stitch, totally forgot at just about the same time as they acquired the rights to Star Wars.  Oh, for what could have been.

I want to note here that the average review on this blog is about as long as what you’ve read so far.  We’re only about two thirds of the way through the Special, though, and I can’t really divide a holiday review up into two weeks.  Therefore, consider this your permission to take a break and go snag another latke or whatever you’re snacking on, and then we’ll continue.

There’s one fun bit of background social commentary in the animated sequence, too: the only way for humans to survive the virus is to hang them upside-down so their brains will get enough oxygen despite their weakened hearts.  In the city there’s an advertisement for the cure – and the upside-down human pictured in the ad is, of course, a woman in her underwear.  The image isn’t detailed and it’s not the focus of the shot, so I don’t think it’s an actual piece of gratuitous cheesecake.  Apparently somebody at Nelvana Ltd was just salty about the advertising industry.

The self-contained story in the cartoon makes sense within itself. It justifies Fett’s fearsome reputation far better than anything in The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, and the characters seem to be in-character even when they’re off-model.  The problem is with it as a part of the framing story about the Imperial troops searching Chewbacca’s house!  The Special is very explicit that this is not something that’s actually happening in the real world at the same time as the other events – it is a cartoon Lumpy is watching on TV.  Why, in a galaxy controlled by the Empire, would there be cartoons using the real names of real rebel operatives and presenting them as the heroes?  If nobody’s supposed to know Boba Fett is connected with the Empire, why does the show blow his cover?

More importantly, where can I get one of those awesome giant stuffed Banthas Lumpy has in his room?  I don’t know if that’s a real toy that was available in the late 70’s, but Comic Images does make something similar and you can buy them at Wal-Mart or Toys R Us.

While cleaning up the mess the Stormtroopers made of his room, Lumpy watches an instructional video of how to put together some kind of radio. This features Harvey Korman as an android who keeps getting jammed.  Like cooking shows, instructional videos aren’t very interesting unless you’re trying to follow the directions – since we can’t follow the directions, this one is pointless to begin with.  The ‘joke’ is not funny, and lines like “every one of the ten thousand terminals on your circuit breaker module is a different colour” might be amusing when written down but they just don’t work when somebody says them aloud.  Fortunately, it doesn’t last long.

Then we get on to what’s probably the second-best thing in the Special, the bit where we learn that the Mos Eisley cantina is owned by Bea Arthur.  It would be easily the most expensive thing in the Special were it not made up of b-roll footage and re-used puppets from Episode IV.  It’s also kind of got a plot, in that a guy with a baking soda volcano on top of his head (this is certainly an efficient way to get the alcohol directly to your brain) is trying to confess his love to Bea while she just wants to get on with running her business.  Eventually he gets his heart broken and leaves, and then the Empire shuts the bar down, so Bea throws everybody out with a song.

I have to admit, in The Force Awakens when Han Solo mentioned a female friend who ran a ‘watering hole’… there was a moment there when I was half-expecting it to be Bea Arthur’s character.  I’m relieved that it wasn’t, but also just the slightest bit disappointed.  We had to wait for The Mandalorian to get a proper Holiday Special callback.

This bit almost had a chance to say something with its ‘thwarted romance’ plot.  Usually such a thing in a tv show would get what the male character would consider a happy ending.  He would prove to his love interest that being cared for is important, she would realize that love is better than money, and they would metaphorically ride off into the sunset.  What it looks like we’re going to get here instead is something more like the episode of South Park where Butters fell in love with the Hooters waitress. Harvey Korman’s character (yes, he plays three different characters in this Special and this was apparently supposed to be a selling point) realizes his crush is based on a misunderstanding, and while it makes him sad, he’s not going to be an asshole about it.

Nor is Bea’s character vilified for rejecting him, which she does tactfully but firmly, as if she’s gone through this many times before. He’s just a minor annoyance in her day before she goes on to worry about bigger problems, like getting everybody to obey that Imperial curfew.  Then, however, at the last second he pops up from behind the counter after everybody has left – and that’s where the segment ends.  I think we’re supposed to assume they got together after all, but I kind of hope she just threw him out with the rest of them.  No means no, damn it.

Bea Arthur’s Go Home Song is to the tune the Cantina Band was playing in Episode IV, so it pretty much goes without saying it’s the catchiest piece in the Special.

Then, finally, it’s time to celebrate Life Day!  The Wookiees hold up some glowing Christmas balls, then dress in red robes and walk through outer space into a, uh, wormhole, I guess, that takes them to the base of the giant tree from Avatar.  There it’s time for our final setpiece, the culmination of this whole ninety-minute ordeal… Princess Leia sings!  The Life Day Carol is to the tune of the main Star Wars theme, and the lyrics sound like something from a generic Christmas album you get free if you buy three cards at Hallmark.  Carrie Fisher is a decent singer but she looks like she’s as glad this is over as we are.

Much like Howard the Duck, The Star Wars Holiday Special is a production in which they made all the worst decisions they possibly could.  Focusing on the Wookiees at home rather than following Han Solo and Chewbacca through the action killed the whole thing at the starting gate.  Then that plot is nothing but a frame on which they can hang the various variety acts, and none of those are very good.  It’s only towards the end of the sequence that what we’re seeing even has anything to do with Star Wars.  Watching it is an ordeal on the order of an un-riffed Coleman Francis film.  It’s so bad, it’s not even something people get together and watch like they do Manos or The Room.

So why do we still have it?  The Holiday Special was only broadcast once, and was met by fathomless loathing from critics, Star Wars fans, and ordinary people alike. It has never been released in any other format (Andrew Borntreger of badmovies.org has a story about how Lucas had him thrown out of a Q&A panel for asking if it were getting a DVD release), so the fact that you can find it on YouTube today is down to some nameless hero who recorded it on their newfangled VCR back in 1978.  That person then showed it to friends, apparently on the basis of oh my god, you guys, this is so bad, you have to see it, and then because misery loves company they copied it to show to their friends. What we have today is copies of copies of copies of copies, like fragments of Sappho only with VHS artefacts instead of holes in the papyrus (and without the artistic vision).

Humans like to preserve remarkable things.  Sappho we’ve preserved because it’s remarkably good, but the Star Wars Holiday Special we preserve because it’s remarkably bad.  Lucasfilm has tried very hard to stamp it out.  George Lucas himself has said that if he could he would gather up every copy that exists and smash them with a sledgehammer… but we won’t let him do it. We keep copying the Special and passing it along, in a way that’s very familiar to MSTies in particular.  We’re circulating the tapes!  Why this tape in particular?

I don’t claim to know, but my working theory is that it keeps us humble.  We are a species that can produce great things when we put our minds to it.  We landed on the moon.  We eradicated smallpox.  We built the Taj Mahal and the Sagrada Familia.  We wrote The Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the Einstein Field Equations and the aforementioned works of Sappho.  But for all that, we are also capable of throwing the same kind of effort into creating utter disasters – and the Star Wars Holiday Special is the rare example of an unmitigated disaster that didn’t actually hurt anybody.  It reminds us to take a step back and look at what we’re doing without getting too invested in it, but does so while being harmless and at times humorous.

Would I still rather watch this than Elves?  You bet your shaggy Wookiee ass I would.  The Star Wars Holiday Special may be longer, but it doesn’t leave nearly such a bad taste in my mouth.

I will leave you with this: the Special was, as I mentioned, only broadcast once, in 1978 – that means its signal is now forty-one light years from Earth and still going.  There are several hundred stars within that bubble, around two dozen of which are known to have planets.  Somewhere out there, aliens might be getting their first signal from humanity right now and it’s the Star Wars Holiday Special.

[aion-rsa]

Who Is Taskmaster? Black Widow Movie Villain Explained

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Marvel's Black Widow movie features Taskmaster as its main villain. Here's everything you need to know about him.

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With Marvel's MCU Phase 4 rapidly approaching, it’s almost surprising that it has taken this long for the Taskmaster to show his skull-covered face. Taskmaster has been taking on various Marvel heroes since 1980 and has gone on to star in two miniseries while getting the occasional supporting character role. He’s on that border where it was hard to tell whether he’d show up in the movies or get relegated to TV, showing up as a villain on Agents of SHIELD or something from the Defenders’ neck of the woods on Netflix. But now we know he'll be the villain of the Black Widow movie, and we got our first look at him in the trailer.

Taskmaster first appeared in Avengers #195, created by David Michelinie and George Perez, mainly as a cliffhanger villain to set up his showcase in the next issue. A fifth-rate villain by the name of Pernell Solomon had a rather inconsequential plot involving cloning himself that ended badly, mostly because it exposed the Avengers to the existence of the Taskmaster and his secret villain school. You see, Taskmaster has a special power called “photographic” reflexes. If he sees someone perform an action – as long as it is a human movement – he can do the same on command. He’s essentially a greatest hits mixtape of every great warrior in the Marvel Universe. That shot of him in the Black Widow trailer wielding a bow might tell us that he has encountered Hawkeye at some point, for example.

But seriously, he can’t do superhuman stuff. He once tried to copy the movements of living cartoon character Slapstick and Bane’d himself.

At first he was going to become a superhero, but he realized that being a villain is where the money’s at. Then he came up with an even better and safer plan: keep the mercenary part of the job minimal and instead make money by teaching goons how to fight. If you’re joining Hydra or AIM and you want to know how to fight, just pay the guy who knows exactly how Captain America throws his shield so well and can perform Daredevil’s exact flips. He’d be able to make all that money using his skills while refraining from taking on superheroes head-on.

In his first appearance, Taskmaster easily took down Scott Lang Ant-Man, Hank Pym, and Wasp. He was even able to take on Captain America and Iron Man at the same time. His downfall was when he got in a one-on-one with Jocasta, who had no human movement to play off of, plus she was straight-up out of his league in terms of power. The other Avengers caught up and Taskmaster barely escaped.

In the years that followed, he remained the renowned villain coach while taking the occasional job if the money was right. Taskmaster was driven by greed as he had no trouble working for Crossbones or the US government if they paid up. During the memorable storyline where Steve Rogers was stripped of his Captain America title, the government had Taskmaster train John Walker, the star-spangled replacement who would later go on to be US Agent.

Marvel was weird about Taskmaster’s identity. For the longest time, they never gave him a real name, but they also didn’t seem to mind showing him unmasked from time to time. Like one time the Punisher nearly killed him and Daredevil later visited him in the hospital. Other than some bandages on his head, Taskmaster looked like a completely average white dude, albeit with a history of plastic surgery. We would eventually get some answers on his backstory, but there would be some contradictions.

Taskmaster appeared in the second issue of Joe Kelly and Ed McGuinness’ legendary Deadpool run where Taskmaster kidnapped Deadpool’s sidekick/abused best friend Weasel. The showdown was played for laughs as Taskmaster, boasting about how he can read anyone’s movements and can predict your attacks before you even think about it, was completely helpless against the unpredictable Deadpool. Initially, this was supposed to build towards Taskmaster as a major nemesis for Deadpool during the Kelly run where the plan was that he’d start gaining the ability to inherit strategies the same way he inherits movements. That subplot was cut early on.

Regardless, Taskmaster remained a major part of Deadpool’s corner of the Marvel Universe and would appear in countless runs. While at times Taskmaster would be targeting Deadpool, other times, he would be his long-suffering partner in crime. One of their more memorable meet-ups had Taskmaster one of many hired guns working for a mobster against Deadpool and Spider-Man. Taskmaster whispered to Deadpool that his heart wasn’t really in it and offered to throw the fight for old time’s sake.

It was through that Deadpool connection that we got the brief “UDON Taskmaster” phase in the early '00s. The art studio UDON was drawing the Gail Simone run of Deadpool while also taking care of Ken Siu-Chong’s Taskmaster miniseries. The connecting tissue of this was mainly Sandi Brandenberg, a love interest to Taskmaster and secretary to Deadpool. But also, Taskmaster changed up his appearance, going from “albino Skeletor” to “street-wise Skull Man.” He was more gun-based than sword and shield.

The miniseries went deeper into his abilities, showing that he can remember every moment of his life with 100% clarity. He can also amp up his powers by watching fight footage in fast-forward, which makes him move at super speed at the cost of his body breaking down if he does it for too long. There’s also a neat anecdote about the pitfalls of his powers, as when he was a kid, he watched someone perform a perfect dive, copied it, and then almost drowned because he didn’t know how to swim.

Also, they finally revealed that Taskmaster’s real name is Tony Masters. Of course it is.

The miniseries and the cancellation of Deadpool coned into a new series called Agent X, centered around a scarred-up amnesiac named Alex Hayden who had Deadpool’s powers and personality and appeared months after Deadpool’s supposed death. Taskmaster was a major part of the series, taking time to be annoyed by Hayden’s antics, pining for Sandi, and being an all-around badass.

read more: Agent X: The Strange History of the Other Deadpool

While the UDON Taskmaster look showed up here and there, he was back to his original appearance by the time he was going after Moon Knight. He ended up getting more play thanks in part to Civil War and its aftermath, going from a member of the government’s pro-registration force to training cadets in Avengers: The Initiative. It was there that he became friends with one of his students, Eric O’Grady, the Irredeemable Ant-Man.

Once Norman Osborn took over the superhero wing of the government, Taskmaster briefly joined Osborn’s inner-circle of top villains, otherwise known as the Cabal. Taskmaster ultimately hated being Osborn’s whipping boy and secretly worked against him, eventually escaping and laughing when Osborn’s empire came crumbling down.

In 2011, Fred Van Lente and Jefte Palo joined together to create another Taskmaster miniseries, which was not only fantastic, but it added a few twists and retcons to the character’s backstory. It showed that Taskmaster answers to a higher power called the Org that calls him and gives him orders. Also, Taskmaster has a mental problem where he can only retain so much knowledge, so his brain tends to dump information that isn’t based on physical survival. In other words, he can fight in countless ways, but he can’t remember who he is or really anything about his past. Just a nagging feeling of unforgiveable guilt.

In this story, he protected a diner waitress named Mercedes from all sorts of assassins, only to discover that not only is Mercedes his Org handler, but she’s also his wife. Taskmaster is in fact a SHIELD agent who took a special kind of Super Soldier Serum that gave him his powers, but forces him to constantly forget the woman he loves. Hence the endless guilt.

There's also the thing that he's been unwittingly working for SHIELD all these years.

While that take on Taskmaster was eventually forgotten about (how fitting), it did lead to Avengers Academy member Finesse. Finesse is an Audrey Hepburn lookalike with powers exactly like Taskmaster’s who may or may not be his illegitimate daughter. When she tracked him down and fought him, it was heartbreaking to Taskmaster, as she only fought with copied movesets and he’d never be able to remember her for being her.

Since then, Taskmaster has shown up here and there, usually working alongside Black Ant, who is a robot duplicate of the Eric O’Grady Ant-Man. He tends to pop up whenever Marvel needs a throwaway villain and they’re tired of calling in the Wrecking Crew.

Outside of main continuity, Taskmaster’s shown up in a handful of alternate universe stories. One thing I find amusing is how there’s a What If issue based on the whole “John Walker as Captain America” storyline that has Taskmaster explain his powers by claiming to be a mutant because back then, nobody at Marvel thought too hard about how he got his skills. Then there’s House of M: Avengers, where Taskmaster does the same for the sake of fitting in with the high-status mutant community.

read more: Marvel Movies Release Schedule: Complete MCU Timeline

Taskmaster only showed up in the Ultimate comics towards the end of its run, but there wasn’t much to him. The only thing memorable was that they made him black.

The series Deadpool MAX reimagined Taskmaster as a grizzled and horny woman assassin who turned Wade Wilson into a killing machine and groomed him in the sexual sense. It's probably better that they didn’t go with this version of the character for the movie.

Taskmaster has shown up on several cartoons and in some video games. One of the more memorable is the recent Spider-Man for PlayStation 4 where he acts as a bonus threat, serving a similar purpose as Riddler in the Batman Arkham games. In a look that merged his classic appearance with his UDON appearance, he stalked Spider-Man through the city and came off as more of a knockoff of Deathstroke.

No wonder he and Deadpool keep crossing paths.

Lastly, I can’t help but mention Taskmaster’s appearance in Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Not just because you get to play as him and pull off sweet moves stolen from Hawkeye, Captain America, and Black Knight. Not just for his charming Brooklyn accent. Instead, it's for his rad-as-hell theme song.

Hopefully we'll hear this when he goes into action in Black Widow. I’m pumped for anything after listening to that song.

Gavin Jasper writes for Den of Geek and feels that if Taskmaster was more realistic, he’d be doing way more breakdancing. Read Gavin’s other articles here and follow him on Twitter @Gavin4L

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Feature

Books

Gavin Jasper

Dec 3, 2019

Marvel

Black Widow

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[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

RWBY - After the Fall: Prologue

Obviously, SPOILERS AHEAD. If you haven’t read the book, probably skip this post. This is going to be more of a chapter-by-chapter liveblog than going through each sentence, mainly to preserve my sanity.

What I know: There were some spoilers going around but I think I skipped most of the serious ones. I did read a leaked page that was going around some months ago but I can hardly remember anything about it. So, here’s what I know:

Velvet is the PoV.

Coco is gay.

Fox (I think?) is blind.

They are studying in Vacuo

The cover art is really bad.

Oh, and there’s a character called “Carmine” that looks like Alolan Yang. Other than that I’m completely blind.

Apparently the book is canon (rather than “secondary canon” like the official manga) so my main hope for After the Fall is for it to give us information about things that could influence the show. I doubt it’ll be a game-changer, spinoffs never are, but at least some of it mattering in the long run would be nice.

Okay, without further ado, let’s do this!

Prologue

The main problem about secondary media is that they need to make me care about their main characters and their tribulations even if they are inconsequential for the main story that I actually like. The rational and objective argument against this would be “it should be able to stand on its own and be judged on its own merits” but I can’t claim to be objective.

So, did the prologue manage to sell me on team CFVY with Velvet as the main character? And the answer is: Eh.

It starts with Velvet thinking about how much everything about Vacuo sucks: its animals, its climate, its sand, even its people (more on that later) suck. And she never stops.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the book ends with Velvet learning to love Vacuo or something along those lines if only because of how frequently the prologue insists in telling me how much she hates the place and the circumstances that led her team to Vacuo. Which serves to set a mystery: why Vacuo?

It’s after the first of these ruminations that the prologue reveals its biggest surprise: Remnant has fauna besides dogs and birds! I’ve always complained about how live animals mostly don’t exist in the show so it’s nice that at least they get to be included here, the magic of not having to create 3d models~. They are just one more thing to hate about Vacuo , because they are giant murderous crabs that are trying to eat them, but it’s something.

The reveal of Fox’s semblance is a surprise too but in a “huh, that’s neat” way. I’m not sure I understand how it works though. It’s described as “teamspeak” but only Fox is shown “sending” thoughts. Can he hear the thoughts of his teammates or is it a one-way thing?

“Velvet thumbed through the images stored in the camera, looking for just the right one to help her friends. Professor Port, blunderbuss raised and aimed at a flock of Griffons in Amity Arena. Weiss Schnee, in a rare unguarded moment, with a giant glowing arm and sword hanging from a glyph floating behind her. Green-haired Reese Chloris leaning on her hoverboard after she and the rest of Team ABRN (Auburn) had defeated a Death Stalker.”

Velvet’s weapon is both cool and unpractical. The fight is mostly over when Coco is ambushed by a giant crab and Velvet has to stop to consider which of the weapons is the most appropriate. While Coco is fighting for her life. And then it transitions into a flashback. While Coco is fighting for her life.

But honestly, I don’t mind. The flashback is a lot more interesting that what’s going on.

“The sky was full of the wings and cries of Griffons, terrible flying Grimm monsters that had carried off several classmates and tourists, shattering the peace of the festival”

The fall of Beacon was terrible, the show made it clear, but it’s interesting to read how terrible it was for everyone.

“ In the last hour, they had seen their friend Penny Polendina torn apart by her own weapons. ”

WHY MUST YOU REMIND ME

Anyway, I’m not sure how I feel about the flashback. I love that it uses the bit between Ruby and Weiss leaving the docks and them arriving at the tower; it doesn’t feel as forced as I would have thought. But, I have the niggling thought it shouldn’t have been used so soon, let me learn more about CFVY before using the big guns that are the RWBY team.

It does gives us more characterization for Velvet though so I can’t complain too much. So far her character is: Dislikes sand (you know who else didn’t like sand? can’t wait for Darth Scarlatina) Vacuo and has an enormous desire to prove herself (it doesn’t help that she gets a bit coddled by her team). It’s not much but it should be enough to drive her character through the plot.

“Team RWBY hadn’t returned after the fall of Beacon, and no one knew exactly where Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang were now.”

This is a year after the fall of Beacon so I think CFVY are a bit into the future, maybe a couple of months. Team RWBY has done nothing too noteworthy so far in Atlas.

Moving on, Velvet finally chooses a weapon (from Fox, which makes all the sense in the world because she can take all the pictures she wants from her teammates. Actually, shouldn’t it be always the first choice and summoned ASAP and only afterwards think if the situation requires something else? Hm.) but instead of going to help her friends, she goes help an injured person.

“They’ll be fine for now, and besides, we don’t leave people behind. Not anymore.”

Which… makes sense for a huntress, even if the sentiment is somewhat heavy-handed. Also, is this is a reference to “I May Fall”?

There’s a day when all courage collapses And our friends turn and leave us behind

Because if it is, all is forgiven.

The short fight that follows is… short, but it does its job to sell me that Velvet can fight without blowing through her entire picture album. I hoped her moves would match the one time I have seen Fox fight (in “Breach”) since she’s using his fighting style but it’s mostly jumping around.

And then they meet Slate, who is who I was talking about when I mentioned that Vacuo’s people suck. Every time Vacuo is mentioned in the show it’s accompanied with something about how there are only thieves and scoundrels, that surviving is above everything else. And every time I think “it’s an entire kingdom, how can you know” but I let it go because it could be an in-universe stereotype.

But nope.

“Surviving is what we do here, or don’t,” Slate went on. “We look out for one another, but if it’s down to your life or someone else’s, you choose your own. No hard feelings.”

She’s the first person from Vacuo the book introduces and she’s just like everyone said Vacuans were. Welp. It reminds me of Star Wars and how secondary characters get their characterization through their species and/or planet. A hard place with hard people *yawn*

On the bright side, the encounter allows Coco to show her over the top personality and it’s amazing.

“We’re Shade Academy’s newest star pupils. Team CFVY. I’m Coco, and that’s Fox, Velvet, and Yatsuhashi.” Coco pointed out her teammates.”

“Fortunately, I had this broken wagon,” Slate went on. “I stayed with it and hoped for the best.” “That’s us,” Coco said. “The best have arrived.”

Coco has a strong enough personality that it makes me wish the book was from her PoV. Not that Velvet is not interesting, but she seems to be largely passive, mostly complaining in her own head. It is her start point so I’m hoping she gets better by the end of the novel.

I think the prologue does a good job introducing the characters and the main threads the book will follow: Velvet really dislikes Vacuo, and the second flashback solidifies the idea that something happened that made everyone go to Shade. The way the prologue ends, with Velvet once again asking herself why they had to leave Beacon, makes it clear that it’ll be important through the book.

So, what happened? I don’t have the slightest. They probably desired to continue their education and Fox is from there so that’s a vote for the continent, but did Velvet never complain?

“I don’t know how safe we’ll be,” Slate said. “Something odd’s been going on.” “What do you mean?” Coco asked. “Let’s just say we aren’t one big happy family lately. Not anymore. But there’s time for that later. I’m taking the big one. Looks like she might be carrying egg sacs.” Slate scampered off toward the dead mother crab and then carved out a hefty chunk of meat.”

A hint of a main plot has appeared! There was some already, with CFVY having been sent by Shade to defend a settlement being attacked (by Grimm?), but this looks more personal. Are they going to get involved in Slate’s problems, with Velvet learning to appreciate Vacuo and its people thanks to Slate and maybe also learning how to stand up for herself earning the respect of her teammates (that she always had but she didn’t know)? Eh, probably. But at least it should be fun to read.

Random thoughts

“Fox spoke aloud only when they were in mixed company, or when he really wanted people to listen.” but in the prologue he always uses his power. Even with Slate when talking about the crab meat. It’s like the editor did a Search and Replace of “Fox said” and replaced “said” with “sent”.

Since Velvet’s semblance is “photographic memory”, I thought the flashbacks were part of that, especially considering there are two in a very short amount of time. But, the flashbacks go from third-person limited to a more omniscient point of view so I’m not sure if that theory tracks.

Glynda finally reappears! Poor character, relegated to flashbacks and non-speaking media.

One way to separate fanfiction from official works is that official spinoffs always explains concepts (Aura, Semblances, etc) that should be clear if you have ever watched the show. But who would pick up this book without having watched RWBY?

CFVY has been in Vacuo for more than a year but Velvet’s character reads like she’s suffering from culture shock. It’s like Myers wrote the character and only afterwards decided how long they had been there.

[johnnymundano]

Fear in the Night (1972) (AKA Dynasty of Fear and Honeymoon of Fear)

Directed by Jimmy Sangster

Screenplay by Jimmy Sangster and Michael Syson

Music by John McCabe

Country: United Kingdom

Running time: 94 minutes

CAST

Judy Geeson as Peggy Heller

Ralph Bates as Robert Heller

Joan Collins as Molly Carmichael

Peter Cushing as Michael Carmichael

James Cossins as The Doctor

Gillian Lind as Mrs. Beamish

John Bown as 1st Policeman

Brian Grellis as 2nd Policeman

(I watched Fear in The Night on a StudioCanal blu-ray. The picture was perfectly fine, but not “Holy Mother of Pearl!” amazing. But I doubt the movie has ever looked better)

Fear in The Night is a neat enough Hammer thriller (as opposed to a neat enough Hammer horror) from their 1970s Going Downhill period, as the studio tried to accommodate the tastes of a rapidly changing society while not altering very much about their product, and continuing to spend less and less with every movie. Surprisingly often ‘70s Hammer’s answer to this thorny art versus commerce conundrum would be to just stick some tits in. Thankfully Hammer doesn’t do that here, instead they opt for a twisted thriller riffing on the French suspense classic Diabolique (1955), with a subtle hint of Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca. But, you know, with Joan Collins and, the eternally camptastic Joan Collins aside, imbued with all the everyday glamour of the 1970s; which is to say all the glamour of the aftermath of a chip pan fire.

This penny pinching presentation of the ‘70s milieu turns out to be Fear in the Night’s secret weapon in its arsenal of entertainment. Movies like this probably looked cheap on release (fair enough, because they were cheap movies) but several decades on the financial inability to cinematically accentuate mundane reality provides a wonderful glimpse of a time mostly past. (Admittedly there remain odd pockets of the 1970s in the UK to this day, but that’s another story.) While I love watching these things for all the usual reasons, I also enjoy the no frills historical accuracy of them. (See also: Amicus and Trigon movies.) An accidental bonus of budgetary miserliness, perhaps, but a bonus nonetheless.  Early on before Fear in the Night settles into its cramped arena of psychological combat there’s a particularly great bit at a motorway service station, where you can see that they once sold 12” LPs in spinner racks; on your way to see Aunty Maud, why not pick up the new Peters and Lee platter? Weird stuff, but apparently true. This is only rivalled by the man in the background when Judy and Ralph are in the car park; this unknown guy comes out of the Gents and is captured forever on film checking his fly. Cinéma doesn’t get much more vérité than a guy reflexively checking his cock’s not hanging out.

But why are Ralph Bates and Judy Geeson in a car park at a Granada motorway service station? (I just checked and there are still Granada motorway service stations; I did not know that.) It’s because Ralph and Judy are playing newlywed couple Robert and Peggy, on their way to the boys’ boarding school Robert teaches at. Their fragrant wedded bliss hit a recent road bump when Peggy was possibly attacked by a home invader with a prosthetic arm. Or possibly not; Peggy doesn’t seem the full shilling right from the start. Whatever did or didn’t happen has left Peggy in a somewhat sensitive state which imminent plot developments will do nothing to soothe and everything to aggravate. The pair move into a small house near the main school building and Peggy meets the headmaster, the confusingly named Michael Carmichael (Peter Cushing), and his wife Molly (Joan Collins). All you need to know about Molly is that she is played by 1970s Joan Collins; ergo she is a nasty piece of work under all that make-up. Michael Carmichael is a bit harder to get a grip on, partly because he is played by Peter Cushing who always finds nuances in his characters his scripts rarely deserve. He’s the best thing in Fear in the Night, but then he’s the best thing in most things that have “Peter Cushing” in the cast list. Yes, including Star Wars (1977). Actually, especially Star Wars (1977). Peter Cushing isn’t in Fear in the Night much, but he’s in it enough for him to create a character who can twitch from affable gent to spaced out creep in the blink of an eye and still leave you undecided as to whether or not to trust him. It’s called acting, darling.

Besides the ever potent screen presence of Peter Cushing, everyone else in the intentionally claustrophobically tiny cast is good value too. Joan Collins is Joan Collins, which is why they cast her, I guess. Ralph Bates has fun being too good to be true, before revealing he is in fact too good to be true. (Not really a spoiler unless you’ve never seen a movie; see further down the page.) Mostly though we chez Mundano were distracted by his appearance. Throughout Fear in the Night Ralph Bates is a kind of variable orange colour with some dusky eye shadows, courtesy of make-up according to my Life Partner; I thought he was just olive skinned and maybe had a bit of Mediterranean in the branches of his family tree. And I may have the edge since Wikipedia tells me Ralph was of French parentage and was (get this) the great-great grandson of Louis Pasteur. There’s a fun Hammer Fact for you; no charge. The core of Fear in the Night, however, is Judy Geeson, who is unrelated to Louis Pasteur as far as I know, but, luckily for audiences everywhere, successfully portrays a woman slowly coming so unstuck she can’t even trust her own senses. Hysteria simmers under the surface of each of her scenes, at least in those scenes where her hysteria isn’t stealing the scene wholesale.

Oh yes, female hysteria is front and centre in this one. Fear in the Night has a typically balanced 1970s approach to the ladies; one’s a brassy shrew and the other is a hysterical girl-child. In case anyone wanted reassurance about how far we’ve come since 1972 gender-wise, Fear in the Night also has a lot of people telling Peggy and Molly how pretty they are, like they are delicate little dolls, and there’s not a few “Oh, those silly ladies and their silly emotions!” reactions to Peggy’s increasingly frenzied appeals for help against her apparently phantom assailant. The only reason no one seeks to blame it all on her “time of the month”, I suspect, is that the ‘70s was still struggling to come to terms with female biological functions. Part of Peggy’s problem is getting men to take her seriously; which is fair enough, as part of any woman’s problems in the 1970s was getting men to take her seriously. In the 2010s men take women seriously; but they hate them for it. But shhhh, it’s a secret.

There are a lot of secrets at play in Fear in the Night, some obvious and some surprising but can Peggy survive their unveiling? You will, naturally, have already twigged what’s going on as soon as Joan Collins turns up shotgunning rabbits and patronising Peggy to within an inch of her life. But, and this is the clever bit, Fear in the Night knows you know this. The initial reveal is so defiantly perfunctory it acts as a kind of slap in the face to your complacency, and then Fear in the Night kicks you in the kidneys with the stuff you weren’t expecting. Basically, don’t organise that ticker tape parade to celebrate your own cleverness until Fear in the Night’s credits roll. Despite Jimmy Sangster’s smart plotting relying heavily on a prosthetic arm, Fear in the Night still has room for a couple of enjoyably nifty tricks up its sleeve. If all else fails; it’s got peter Cushing in. And you can’t argue with a bit of The Cush.  And that’s another Hammer Fact; no charge.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 17 June 2019

Quick Bits:

A Walk Through Hell #11 gives us a bit more insight into Shaw’s childhood and further fallout from the investigation, even as things seem to get nastier in the hell they’ve found themselves in. The fields of bones from Goran Sudžuka and Ive Svorcina are horrifying.

| Published by AfterShock

Age of X-Man: NextGen #5 is a bit of a gut punch for a final issue in this series. Some great art by Lucas Werneck and Jason Keith, though.

| Published by Marvel

Aquaman #49 concludes the “Mother Shark” two-parter as Arthur gets answers on who he is and how he died. This is a huge one. Kelly Sue DeConnick, Viktor Bogdanovic, Jonathan Glapion, Daniel Henriques, Ryan Winn, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles do an incredible job with this story. Beautiful and heartbreaking. 

| Published by DC Comics

Assassin Nation #4 has the remaining assassins possibly figure out the entire plan as they take down another crime boss in this penultimate issue. Kyle Starks, Erica Henderson, and Deron Bennett have been delivering a highly entertaining series here with great art and a wicked sense of humour. Every book needs a Fuck Tarkington.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Barbarella/Dejah Thoris #4 is the end to what has been a great mini from Leah Williams,  Germán García, Addison Duke, and Crank! Very interesting use of time travel for this story.

| Published by Dynamite

Batman #73 sees Tom King, Mikel Janín, Jordie Bellaire, and Clayton Cowles reveal as to just how demented Thomas Wayne is in part four of “The Fall and the Fallen”. His motivation is understandable, but this is insane.

| Published by DC Comics

Black Badge #11 reveals a lot of the remaining secrets that we’ve guessed about previously as to what exactly is going on with the entire Black Badge organization. Maybe. I’m still expecting more twists from Matt Kindt, Tyler Jenkins, Hilary Jenkins, and Jim Campbell when the series ends next issue.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Captain America #11 sees Steve’s jailbreak from the Myrmidon in earnest, while Sharon and the Daughters of Liberty run the operation. Beautiful artwork from Adam Kubert and Matt Milla.

| Published by Marvel

Daredevil #7 reminds us that Matt Murdock carries more guilt than an entire Catholic archdiocese. There’s a very compelling depth and complexity that Chip Zdarsky is bringing to this story, moving us away from the typical superheroics.

| Published by Marvel

Elephantmen 2261: The Pentalion Job #2 enacts the heist of the pentalions in the second part of this story from Richard Starkings and Alex Medellin. Hip Flask raises some interesting questions as all of the Bond actors seem to meet their end.

| Published by Comicraft

Excellence #2 is another excellent issue. Brandon Thomas, Khary Randolph, Emilio Lopez, and Deron Bennett are developing Spencer and his history, his family, and relation with the hierarchy of the Aegis in a very compelling way.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Fairlady #3 is the first issue that doesn’t really end “clean”. It’s still a single issue story, but the mystery remains and isn’t tidied up by the end. It’s another murder mystery, with an adventurer impersonating a Conan analogue. Like the previous issues, this is a great story from Brian Schirmer, Claudia Balboni, Shari Chankhamma, and David Bowman.

| Published by Image

Faithless #3 continues to be very strange. Very, very strange. As Faith’s roommate is murdered by what seems like a wolf from her phone, her relationship with Poppy, and then she has sex with Poppy’s father. As I said, strange. I’m still not entirely sure what Brian Azzarello, Maria Llovet, and AndWorld Design are trying to do with this story.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Gideon Falls #14 begins playing with time along with the alternate realities as Burke lands in a reality “closer to the centre” and is given a purpose to find “the five”. Jeff Lemire, Andrea Sorrentino, Dave Stewart, and Steve Wands are doing some amazing work here.

| Published by Image

Guardians of the Galaxy #6 concludes “The Final Gauntlet” from Donny Cates, Geoff Shaw, David Curiel, and Cory Petit as the Guardians, all of the Guardians, take on Hela and the Black Order to try to prevent the resurrection of Thanos. It’s suitably epic.

| Published by Marvel

Hit-Girl: Season 2 #5 kicks off the “Hong Kong” arc from Daniel Way, Goran Parlov, Giada Marchisio, and Clem Robins. It may well be the arc with the most narration so far, but it doesn’t detract from the usual over-the-top violence and action in the start of this story of Mindy trying to take down the Liu Triad, with rather humorous results, it rather enhances it with some nice introspection.

| Published by Image

Justice League #26 is part one of “Apex Predator” from James Tynion IV, Javier Fernandez, Hi-Fi, and Tom Napolitano. The Justice League are pitching to the stars in order to stem the tide of Perpetua’s plans and the impending Doom brought on by the “Year of the Villain”. But everyone’s wondering if it’s just shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.

| Published by DC Comics

Last Stop on the Red Line #2 is still very strange. Paul Maybury, Sam Lotfi, John Rauch, and Adam Pruett are crafting an intriguing murder mystery here as Torres and her new partner continue to try to solve the crimes on the subways, but it’s told through a very fluid, stylized way where we’re not sure what’s real and what’s just a character’s perception. It’s a very neat way to tell a story.

| Published by Dark Horse

Little Bird #4 is maybe the most heartbreaking issue yet in this masterpiece from Darcy Van Poelgeest, Ian Bertram, Matt Hollingsworth, and Aditya Bidikar. There’s a lesson of survival, of children supplanting the parents, instilled here in the penultimate chapter as Little Bird and Gabriel have a bit of an understanding as siblings.

| Published by Image

Middlewest #8 attempts to pick up the pieces after Abel’s outburst and near destruction of the travelling circus. Also, more of the sheer monster that his father is. Gorgeous artwork from Jorge Corona and Jean-Francois Beaulieu.

| Published by Image

Miles Morales: Spider-Man #7 is a number of vignettes with Miles checking in with family and Bombshell before setting up the next arc. Wonderful use of guest artists with Ron Ackins & Dexter Vines, Alitha E. Martinez, and Vanesa Del Rey providing segments as well as regular artist Javier Garrón.

| Published by Marvel

Outpost Zero #10 explains all of the cats. It also gives a timeframe for the colony and a lot more questions as to why the old ship structure and tunnels were just completely abandoned by the colonists. Wonderful designs by Alexandre Tefenkgi.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Pearl #10 takes an interesting detour for a bit into “real life” as Pearl tries to hold down a “normal” job. Then we get back to the fallout of her chopping off Mr. Miike’s fingers. Absolutely stunning artwork from Michael Gaydos, with some very interesting layouts.

| Published by DC Comics / Jinxworld

Psi-Lords #1 is another great debut for Valiant. Fred Van Lente, Renato Guedes, and Dave Sharpe update one of the few Valiant properties that haven’t been brought back yet, with a bunch of seemingly newly activated psiots awakening in some kind of “Aztec sex dungeon”. The story keeps you off-balance from the beginning, adding a nice bit of mystery to what’s going on. And the artwork from Guedes is excellent.

| Published by Valiant

Rat Queens #16 begins the run by the new creative team of Ryan Ferrier, Priscilla Petraites, and Marco Lesko in earnest, following on the special. The Queens are essentially tearing themselves apart at this stage and nothing seems to be able to go right.

| Published by Image / Shadowline

Rumble #13 tackles the next Scourge Knight and Timah learns an interesting fact about the bundle of joy growing inside her. Great art as always from David Rubín and Dave Stewart.

| Published by Image

Savage Sword of Conan #6 is a single issue story from Meredith Finch, Luke Ross, Nolan Woodard, and Travis Lanham. It’s a captivating tale of revenge and Conan fighting through some insurmountable odds. Great art from Ross and Woodard.

| Published by Marvel

Usagi Yojimbo #1 begins a new era at IDW...in colour. Tom Luth joins Stan Sakai for the interiors in the first part of “Bunraku”. While it is a bit odd not to be black and white, this is still masterful storytelling, building on some traditional Japanese culture and providing an intriguing supernatural mystery. 

| Published by IDW

Warlord of Mars Attacks #1 begins another property crossover mini-series from Dynamite, this time mixing John Carter with the Mars Attacks aliens, from Jeff Parker, Dean Kotz, Omi Remalante, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou. Nice bits of humour.

| Published by Dynamite

Wolverine: Infinity Watch #5 concludes this mini from Gerry Duggan, Andy MacDonald, Jordie Bellaire, and Cory Petit. It’s been a very entertaining follow-up to Infinity Wars, but it’s also served as a kind of weird clean-up to continuity that Marvel otherwise seems to have abandoned.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: American Carnage #8, Age of X-Man: The Amazing Nightcrawler #1, Battlestar Galactica Classic #5, Captain Marvel #7, Clue: Candlestick #2, Curse Words #22, Deadpool #14, Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor #9, Farmhand #9, Firefly #7, Go Go Power Rangers: Forever Rangers #1, Goddess Mode #6, Hellboy and the BPRD: The Beast of Vargu, Invisible Kingdom #4, James Bond 007 #8, Lab Raider #1, Livewire #7, Lucifer #9, Lumberjanes #63, Marvels Annotated #4, Mary Shelly: Monster Hunter #3, Monstress #23, Planet of the Nerds #3, Port of Earth #11, Red Sonja & Vampirella meet Betty & Veronica #2, Sabrina: The Teenage Witch #3, Shuri #9, Star Wars #67, Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #3, Star Wars: Tie Fighter #3, TMNT: Urban Legends #14, Teen Titans #31, Tony Stark: Iron Man #13, Trout: The Hollowest Knock #1, Uncanny X-Men #20, The Unstoppable Wasp #9, War of the Realms: Journey into Mystery #5, War of the Realms: Spider-Man & The League of the Realms #3, War of the Realms: War Scrolls #3, The Warning #8, X-Men: Grand Design - X-Tinction #2

Recommended Collections: Archie 1941, Dead Man Logan - Volume 1: Sins of the Father, High Heaven - Volume 1, Hillbilly - Volume 4: Red Eyed Witchery from Beyond, Giant Days - Volume 10, Hit-Girl - Volume 4, Low Road West, Lucifer - Volume 1: Infernal Comedy, Marvel Action: Spider-Man - Book 1, Prince of Cats, Rainbow Brite, Shadow Roads - Volume 1, Spookhouse - Volume 2, TMNT - Macroseries, Thor - Volume 2: Road to War of the Realms, Uncanny X-Men - Volume 1: Cyclops and Wolverine, Vampirella/Dejah Thoris, Winter Soldier: Second Chances, X-O Manowar - Volume 7: Hero

[weerd1]

Star Trek DS9 Rewatch Log, Stardate 1907.22: Missions Reviewed, “Explorers,” “Family Business,” “Shakaar,” “Facets,” and “The Adversary.”

Long one tonight! We took a run at the end of season three starting with “Explorers.” Sisko reads about Bajorans of some 800 years before building solar sailing ships to explore their solar system, and possibly even making it as far as Cardassia. 

 He decides to build one to ancient specification (adding only a gravity web to the floor because weightlessness makes him queasy) and see if he can make it work. He invites Jake, who is initially reluctant to join, but then gets some news that makes him want to hang out with his father.  As they set sail, Jake tells Ben that he has been accepted to a writing fellowship back on Earth. Meanwhile on DS9 Bashir is busy flirting with a new Dabo girl named Leeta when Dax tells him the Lexington is coming to dock.

 Bashir realizes the woman who beat him out for head of his class is on board, and he prepares to meet her.  She walks past him as if she doesn’t recognize him. Ben reads Jake’s story and is impressed, recommending he take the fellowship. Jake says he’s worried about his dad though and may wait a year. Besides, there’s an freighter captain he thinks Ben should meet.  Before they can finish the conversation, there’s a malfunction and the ship seems to slip into warp. On DS9, after a charming drunken session with O’Brien, Bashir confronts the other doctor to find that she thought “Julian Bashir” was an Andorian. She’s excited to meet Julian for real, and is envious of the long term projects he can undertake. Jake and Ben are lost somewhere in space when suddenly three Cardassian warships appear.  Dukat hails them to reveal that tachyon eddies in the Bajoran system have in fact accelerated them at warp speed right into the Cardassian system. Coincidentally, Cardassia was about to announce the have discovered an ancient Bajoran crash site on their homeworld.

There is a lot of significant stuff going on in this episode. Leeta, who will become a staple of future season and Rom’s wife, is introduced. Though not named, Kassidy Yates is introduced as an idea, and we will see her in the next episode, beginning her long courtship and eventual marriage to Ben. Jake as a writer begins to really flourish setting the stage for his future as a correspondent during the Dominion War. It’s almost enough to make one ignore how little sense the rest makes. OK- 800 years earlier Bajorans built an airtight solar wind sail ship, literally out of lumber. How did they get it off the surface of the planet and into space? But, let’s assume they had chemical rockets that could survive leaving an atmosphere to deliver their wood ships into space, a solar sail would have to be kilometers long.  But, let’s say it’s special reflective material; when the tachyons begin to accelerate them to warp, what keeps the acceleration from crushing them into a thin red paste on the back wall? Ben has gravity control, no inertial dampeners 800 years ago. And assuming they DO survive, I would assume the Cardassian system is several hours at mid-warp from Bajor. Doesn’t take them long here. Then, there’s a crash site on Cardassia; how did the wooden ship survive re-entry? Though, maybe the acceleration DID paste the crew and throw the ship through the Cardassian atmosphere hard enough to crater in.  Holy Prophets that’s tragic.

Quark and Rom have to deal with “Family Business” when a Liquidator named Brunt from the Ferengi Commerce Authority shows up to seize their business because family on Ferenginar is causing trouble. 

 It seems Quark’s mother has been earning profit, illegal in Ferengi society for a woman. She seems to be…ugh, wearing clothes too! Brunt tells Quark he has to get her to confess, and then pay back the profit she made.  On DS9, Sisko meets Kassidy Yates, and they agree to coffee.  While there, she seems restless. Seems she forgot she’s supposed to listen to a broadcast from her brother out on Cestus III. It seems he is part of a league playing an obscure Earth sport called “baseball.” Sisko is smitten. On Ferenginar, Quark has discovered that “Moogie” has made more profit than they thought. MUCH more. He plans to turn her in despite the fact it will ruin him, but she cuts him in on the profits. She confesses and turns some over, but splits the rest with Quark…mostly; she tells Rom there may be some more even than Quark found.

A neat little look at Ferengi society which of course features the marvelous Jeffrey Combs as Liquidator Brunt (one of no less than seven different Trek characters he played). 

SNL’s Andrea Martin plays Moogie here, but will not reprise the role later due to makeup issues. We see Ferenginar is constantly raining, and the traditional house greeting of “welcome to my home; what’s mine is mine” is given. The whole episode will prove to kick off some interesting turns for Ferengi society.

Kai Winn comes to DS9 to see Kira, as her old friend and cell leader “Shakaar” is causing trouble in Kira’s home town.  The minister of the Provisional Government has died, leaving Winn not only as Kai, but as political leader. She makes some changes which will pull some farm equipment out of Kira’s province, and away from the farmer Shakaar. He won’t give it back. Winn expects Kira to talk him into it, but instead she negotiates a meeting with Shakaar to find a compromise. 

Winn dismisses that and sends in security forces to seize the equipment, causing both Kira and Shakaar to gather up the old cell and go back on the run. Sisko refuses to intervene in what Kai sees as a test of her authority. She scrambles more troops into the area, and discord begins to mount, risking a civil war. Shakaar approaches one of the Colonels chasing him, and they realize how futile this is. The colonel brings Shakaar back…with full military support as he decides to run for the position of First Minister displacing Winn.

  I love how Kira can basically start a civil war on Bajor (as much as I hate Winn) and then just come back to the station when it is all over. It is a tight episode though that really makes you swell your dislike of Kai Winn, and gives Louise Fletcher yet another great opportunity to be loathsome.  Shakaar of course is played by Duncan Regehr, once a staple of tv sf and genre: TNG, V the Series, Disney’s Zorro. I thought he had faded away, but it turns out he is in fact now a very successful painter with art on exhibition all over the world.

“Facets” brings us to Jadzia Dax undergoing a Trill ritual where the memories of each specific host are taken from the symbiont and placed temporarily in another host. This allows a Trill to “meet” all the previous hosts. She selects various people close to her on the station to house the various personalities (including sexually coercing Quark into participating…and then assigning him a female host). 

 Things get dark when Joran-the short lived host we learned was a psychotic murderer-goes into Sisko, and tries to kill Dax, but it becomes worse when Curzon enters Odo and they two of them merge into a single entity. One that does not intend to return to the Symbiont. Meanwhile, Nog is working on a preliminary Starfleet exam, and ends up failing. Rom realizes Quark rigged it to keep the boy out of Starfleet, but Rom gets Sisko to administer the test again, setting him on the path to Earth next season. 

Jadzia confronts Odo/Curzon, and realizes that Curzon is ashamed because when he initially failed her out of the symbiosis program it was because he loved her. She accepts his love and tells him she loves him too-as a part of her. An abashed Odo meets her later, admitting that the sensory input of Curzon was tempting, but she thanks him as she now has Curzon’s memory of being part of Odo, and what it is to be a changeling.  

The Dax stuff is fun here, if a little contrived, but we get some great performances out of each of the stars as they assume the personalities of the hosts. Rene Auberjonois is particularly effective as Curzon, though Avery Brooks is downright sinister as Joran. The b-story with Nog is neat, as it is such a great bit of character development for the annoying Ferengi kid from season 1 who is now on his way to a career in Starfleet.  Go Nog!

And season 3 comes to an end when “The Adversary” makes itself known. Sisko is promoted to Captain while a Federation ambassador visits the station. 

The ambassador mentiones a hostile race, the Tzenkethi, have had a coup, and may restart what were apparently rather brutal hostilities with the Federation. Sisko takes the ambassador out on a flag waving mission along the Tzenkethi border with the Defiant, but O’Brien soon notices strange things are afoot. They realize the ambassador is actually a Changeling, and a hunt through the ship starts to try to keep him from his real mission- using the Defiant to attack the Tzenkethi  and occupy the Federation so the Dominion can make its move. The crew becomes more paranoid as they begin to suspect any of them could be the shapeshifter. A very Carpenter-esque blood test scene happens and Commander Eddington is id’d as the culprit.

 They soon find Bashir locked away though, and realize the Bashir who conducted the test was the Changeling. Odo liquefies to chase him down, as Sisko prepares to self-destruct the Defiant to prevent war with the Tzenkethi.  Odo stops the enemy in engineering, and for the first time in history a Changeling harms another Changeling as Odo kills the other to save the ship.  As the invader dies he tells Odo, “it’s too late; we are everywhere.”

The “Thing” like horror aspects of this episode play off pretty well, keeping you guessing who may or may not be the Changeling at any given time. The paranoia we see the crew experience is shared by us as viewers at the end as we realize just how prevalent the threat from The Dominion may be, leaving a very disquieting end to season three. We have to talk here though about Sisko not becoming a Captain until S3. Really? Come on Trek, your first Black commanding officer leading a TV show, and you left him a Commander for three years? At least now Sisko has the rank, he has the goatee, and as we head into season 4, we get the shaved head; Sisko will soon evolve into his final form!

NEXT VOYAGE: Season 4 begins with more Klingons that you can shake a Bat’leth at as paranoia about the Dominion threat leads the Empire to pursue “The Way of the Warrior.” Best of all?  WORF!!!

[cynthiaandsamus]

Star Wars Visions From Worst to Best:

9. Tatooine Rhapsody: I’ve talked to a good amount of people about Star Wars Visions and it seems like no one fucking likes this one and it’s a shame because I don’t hate it I’m just... disappointed by it. The premise is pretty neat and it seems to be the only one interesting in telling a story that’s not “Jedi shows up and stops the bad guys by lightsabering around” it’s the only one that doesn’t focus on the main war of the period and goes a bit into the realm of Smugglers and Bounty Hunters so I really want to like it, it’s just... not there, the dialogue is flat, they don’t nail the emotional core of the band hard enough and worst of all the song fucking sucks, like a real banger of a song could’ve tied this together a lot better especially if they played montage flashes of the band bonding during the song but the song is just not good and for a music-centric short that’s kind of a big fucking problem. I suppose it’s probably better sounding in Japanese but the song is actually kinda short and doesn’t have a lot going on lyrically so even if they just translated it properly it’s just not all that great. The chibi-ish style is kinda nice but really this is just missing a strong center to tie it together.

8. T0-B1: This one kinda just wasn’t for me, like the art style was very distinctive and you’d be crazy to not have an Astro Boy reference in your Star Wars assortment and I do like how Dr. Light has kind of an implied backstory with his arms being cut off and all that and seems to be very strong with the Force but just can’t fight anymore because he never learned to hold a Lightsaber with his feet or some shit. Still I feel like of all the shorts that wedged the Jedi in (which is basically all of them) this was the least necessary, like he’s already a fucking amazing robot you can have him beat an Inquisitor just be being fucking Astro Boy but you had to make him a Jedi instead of someone that just looks up to Jedi because we gotta have Jedi. Like they never even lean into it basically being impossible for a droid to become a Jedi except for one throwaway line from the Inquisitor, like if you’re going to break physics and the established rules of the world at least have that be the thematic resonance that he’s doing it despite everyone saying he couldn’t. The tone was kind of all over the place as it goes from being the cutest one to weirdly dark but it doesn’t translate all that well so it never feels as bleak as it should. Idk this one was just another one I didn’t have but felt something kind of missing from and was kinda half zoned-out by the end.

7. Akakiri: This one was... weird, like I had the hardest time getting behind this artstyle out of all of them and it’s not bad but it’s just not as great as some of the others. This dude basically tries his best to speedrun Anakin’s character arc in fifteen minutes and Anakin’s character arc already kinda didn’t make sense sometimes. They dress his girl up as one of the guards and I guess drug her or some shit so she doesn’t fight back and have him kill her which I feel like that has to be a reference to an old movie or something because that’s way too dumb to just through in there for no reason. Idk if it’s theming about him looking to the future too much or some shit but the only times he loses are when he’s having painful visions and SIth Shogun lady’s like ‘haha you doubled over in pain despite me doing nothing to you, that means I won’ and they just kinda give her the powers of Darth Plagueis out of nowhere since together they just resurrect his dead girl and he becomes a Sith. Like I appreciate one of these has the balls to actually pull the trigger on the ‘Join the Dark Side for the cookies’ thing a lot of Star Wars likes to play with but doesn’t have the balls for and there’s some kind of message about fighting too hard against Fate will cause it and all that but it’s just too muddled and weird for it to really be effective.

6. The Elder: So this one I liked the action like as far as more grounded action this probably had some of the best but my god is it slow to start and the dialogue was so dry, like I think they were supposed to be playfully sarcastic like Obi-Wan and Anakin were to each other but the performances didn’t really do that too well, I loved the design for the Elder Sith and the fight was really cool when it got going and we did some cool things with Padawan Dan and I’m glad they didn’t just off him as a sacrificial pawn and made use of him for the general ‘passing on strength instead of hoarding it is the way’ which is a good moral but something about it did feel off in that they specifically said older force users are weaker which never seemed to be the case, like older force users always seemed to gain strength with age since wisdom and experience get converted to strength, like ‘judge me by size you should not’ and all that like age made physical activity taxing but as far as the Force was concerned you only got stronger with it the older you got and that sort of compensated for the toll of age.

5. Lop & Ocho: FURRIES! Y’ALL A BUNCH OF FURRIES!! Nah though this one was kind of disjointed and I got the feeling they wanted to portray a more grand scale conflict than they had time for which ended up making some of the character motivations hard to read at times since it’s hard to see where they’re coming from and what the conflict actually is in the limited scope we have. Still I kinda liked how this one toyed with the Japanese themes in terms of the Empire representing the various countries that exploited Japan with double-edged promises of progress, that’s kind of a neat take and presents the Empire as a more realistic and nuanced threat than they usually are shown to be when they go ‘You’re under our control now because we have Star Destroyers” that and the designs for both Lop and Ocho are really cute, feel like Ocho went full Grand Admiral kinda fast but she does make the suit look good ngl and I kinda like that instead of anybody being Force sensitive in this conflict (unlike the other shorts were you can’t throw a rock without hitting three Force sensitives) you just have an Ancient Jedi dropping dead and the family protecting his lightsaber like ‘idk what the fuck this thing is but it’s sacred and we treasure it so go kill your sister with it’ the family stuff is milked kinda hard with them going back to the picture over and over but it is still effective in communicating how Lop feels and I’d rather them hit the emotions too hard than not enough.

4. The Duel: This is the one everyone was talking about as far as the style and it’s pretty dope, like the vast majority of these adapt the Samurai/Western movie aesthetic of the original movies to some extent but this one is the mos direct about it and is in a way the most visually striking. Nothing really bad to say about this one it’s pretty dope to be honest and I don’t care what anyone says the Lightsaber Umbrella was pretty cool. The characters are ambiguous enough to be intriguing without it leaving you hanging on the story, pretty solid all things considered.

3. The Ninth Jedi: I wasn’t expecting to like this one as much as I did, like immediately it kind of put me off with the worldbuilding that just like nobody knows how to make Lightsabers anymore but Jedi and Sith are both kinda all over the place still and nobody has swords despite that kind of being the easy part. Still I like the idea of a Lightsaber craftsman being a unique kind of swordsmith and Kara’s design is too cute to find fault with. The Mood Ring Lightsabers were obviously going to be used for a Sith reveal but I wasn’t expecting it to be ALL of them (even if one of them was just kinda going with the flow which was weird because the rest of them seem to know each other by name so they should know he’s not one of them unless he’s been undercover for a long time) and I kinda like how they give Ethan a stereotypical hero intro and play it off like Kara��s gonna need saving and Ethan does jack shit the entire short and Kara fucking wrecks everyone she fights. It’s one of those things that feels iffy if you think about it too much and I know there’s probably plot holes everywhere but I can’t deny I had a good amount of fun with it.

2. The Village Bride: Weirdly enough as far as animation this one is the closest thing to being Ghibli-esque even though oddly for Disney, Ghibli was one of the few studios not included in this. This one has a lot of atmosphere and goes through the whole ‘Jedi beats the raiders’ thing but is helped along a good deal by some nice character designs and some great atmosphere, my only real complaint is that for as interesting as F is, her friend does like 90% of the work in destroying the droid ship and she just has to make sure the princesses didn’t get killed like did she even need to be here? Also F kinda falls on the ‘not enough info’ end of being mysterious versus being enough to be interesting, like her design is great and we do get some more of her general ideas but a few more concrete details about what happened with her Master would’ve been good since her flashbacks a REALLY short.

1. The Twins: So when I heard Star Wars was getting anime adaptations, THIS is exactly what i had in mind, and I kinda love it, Trigger Triggered their shit all over this and it is campy and cheesy and dumb but I can’t help but fucking eat it up, Am and Karre are really fun characters with great designs and the action has so much energy, there was an old post going around that dubbed the climax of this short to some music from Redline and that’s really all this needed to be more awesome, like I love the big dumb spectacle of it all and how it boils down the themes of Star Wars into a cheesy anime morale like only this style of thing can, it’s kinda blatant in just throwing all the fanservice at the wall and hoping something sticks but as a fan I can’t deny I’ve been serviced.

Honestly everything from six and up I had a really hard time figuring out so all of them were pretty solid even though a lot of them have similar DNA in retrospect but I’m glad I finally got the chance to sit down and watch the rest of these after seeing the first three when they came out.

[sleemo]

TIME Magazine: A Star of His Own Making 

In person, John Boyega carries himself with an assuredness that could be mistaken for self-­importance. He’s one of those actors who look as tall and sturdy in real life as they do onscreen. He fills whatever room he happens to be in with inviting, boisterous chatter, thanks, no doubt, to years of voice training on the English stage. And he’s dead certain he’s going to be a big, big movie star.

I first meet Boyega in a cramped hallway at ABC Studios in Manhattan in July. We barely manage a hurried handshake as he proceeds in Aaron Sorkin–like strides toward a nearby stage. His publicist and his sister—who also acts as his assistant and is Googling where they can find British pub food in New York—are drafting in his wake. I watch off set as Boyega sits down with the hosts of Live With Kelly and Ryan, his first of three interviews for the day. Each sit-down requires the same thing of the 25-year-old Brit: promoting his latest film, Kathryn Bigelow’s Detroit, about the city’s 1967 riots, and expounding on the state of race relations in neat, 30-second sound bites. Naturally, interviewers also want to ask about his other new movie, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, coming out in December. 

If the challenge of figuring out how to discuss Black Lives Matter and lightsabers in the same breath weighs on him, Boyega doesn’t show it. “I see what I do in part as creating change through art,” he tells me. “Sometimes that responsibility can feel like a burden, but it’s not. It pushes you to find your purpose in the world.”

Most people know Boyega as Finn, the Storm­trooper who defects to the Rebels and helps an aspiring Jedi (Daisy Ridley) in 2015’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Boyega is confident that he can sidestep the quagmire of franchise fame that has kept some actors from ever eclipsing their first blockbuster roles. So when I finally sit down with him for lunch, I begin by asking if he’d rather follow the Denzel Washington/Harrison Ford path to stardom—­bringing the same charming swagger to every role—or if he’d prefer to go the Judi Dench/Idris Elba route of disappearing into parts. He grins at me and says, “I think to be a real star, you have to do both. I’m going to do both.”

Which might seem presumptuous if Boyega hadn’t been consistently checking off items on his superstardom to-do list. Since his breakout role two years ago, he has produced and starred in another franchise film, the upcoming Pacific Rim: Uprising (become a producer: check), played opposite Tom Hanks in the poorly reviewed The Circle (inevitable flop: check), returned to London to play a soldier with PTSD at the Old Vic (reaffirm acting chops onstage: check) and, with Detroit, become the face of an Academy Award winner’s latest gritty film (make an Oscar bid: check). And he’s working on writing and producing his own movies in hopes of leading a generation of artists who bring more diverse stories to the screen.

So, yes, John Boyega will be a big, big movie star. And he plans to get there his own way.

Boyega, the son of Nigerian parents, grew up in the working-class South London neighborhood of Peckham and began enrolling in youth theater programs when he was 9. As a teen, he was cast in a movie filming near his neighborhood, Attack the Block. The comedic horror film centers on a gang of teenagers who must defend their public-housing project from an extraterrestrial invasion. Soon after it premiered, Boyega began trying to land American movie roles, culminating in a series of grueling, secret Star Wars auditions for director J.J. Abrams, who had been a fan of his first film.

The day he found out he got the part, Boyega says, he went home to tell his parents. He bowed to them in a traditional Nigerian sign of respect to show his gratitude for the sacrifices they had made. His ­parents—his mother works with the disabled, while his father is a Pentecostal preacher—­immigrated to England before Boyega was born. “I grew up with my dad telling me that you’re currently around church people, but soon you’re going to be in a world where people don’t believe the same things you believe in. People are going to laugh at the stuff you believe or are going to treat you a certain way,” Boyega recalls. “And just to try as much as you can to be loving to all people.”

Boyega’s casting in Star Wars put that advice to the test. The beginning of the film’s first trailer, released in 2014, showed the actor in Stormtrooper garb minus the helmet. Within minutes, he was deluged with messages on Twitter objecting to the idea of a black man at the center of a Star Wars saga. And Boyega continues to endure occasional harassment on social media. “It’s blatant racism,” he says. “I embrace all people, but I do not embrace racists. I despise racists. Do they know how dumb it is to waste brain cells on taking issue with the amount of melanin in someone’s skin?” He argues that everyone just wants to see themselves represented onscreen and that it’s time for more diverse heroes at the movies.

He pauses and then tells me, “I really want you to include this: 99% of the response was positive. Good doesn’t get credit sometimes because it’s overshadowed by the bad. People tried to boycott the movie, and we made something like a billion dollars in 12 days. That represents every person who bought a ticket. So much for your boycott.”

Disney is hoping the next Star Wars, subtitled The Last Jedi, will draw an even bigger audience when it premieres on Dec. 15. Boyega’s innocent Finn offered much of the comic relief in The Force Awakens, but the actor says the movie and his character’s story get much darker in the sequel. Finn wakes from a coma and is paired off with a new character, Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), as they embark on a dangerous mission with the droid BB-8 in tow. Rose, a lowly engineer who yearns to fight for the Resistance, believes that Finn is a war hero. “Finn’s not so sure that he’s a hero or that he really even believes in the Resistance or anything at all,” says Boyega. “So he’s off with Rose, who is a true believer, and he has to figure out whose side he’s on and navigate these conflicting emotions.”

Finn’s onscreen banter—with Rey, with Han Solo, even with BB-8—made the character a fan favorite. As a result, Boyega says he found himself with an unexpected platform. He’s used it to defend his fellow actors and challenge the entertainment industry. He spoke for Ridley when she left Instagram after an anti-gun-violence post resulted in harassment. He called out HBO’s Game of Thrones for its lack of diversity. And he defended Get Out star Daniel Kaluuya, whom he knows from the London theater circuit, when Samuel L. Jackson said an African-American actor, rather than a black English actor, should have played the lead role in the movie about American racism. “It just makes no sense for Brits and Americans to fight with each other like that,” says Boyega. “When you’re black and in a position of influence, you have a responsibility to speak out. When you’re an actor, you have a responsibility to speak out through your work.”

Detroit is an example of the latter. It is an affecting, if complicated, film. Bigelow filmed it as if she were running with a camera through a war zone. But unlike her other recent movies (The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty), the battleground is a Midwestern metropolis. Boyega plays a security guard who tries to act as a liaison between white cops and black civilians amid unfolding violence at the Algiers Motel. His attempts to protect the innocent eventually make him a scapegoat for the police. “It was an even bigger opportunity than Star Wars to show what I can do,” he says. “You don’t want people going to a movie as serious as this and saying, ‘Hey, why is Finn being interrogated by the police?’”

Boyega’s performance has put him in the conversation for an Oscar. That’s a particularly important item on the superstar checklist and requires a rigorous press tour. If you ask Boyega who his role models are on that score, he’ll talk about his Star Wars co-star Ford. But when it comes to influences, Boyega is more likely to cite his peers. He brings up Issa Rae, the creator and star of HBO’s Insecure. “That’s something I hope to achieve someday, to write and develop my own original project,” he says, adding that he has always written but didn’t really understand how to tackle a screenplay until Spike Lee gave him a copy of his Do the Right Thing script, which included notes scrawled in the margins.

Boyega says he’s excited that several actors he knew from the London theater world are beginning to break into Hollywood too: Malachi Kirby was Kunta Kinte in the recent Roots remake for History, and Letitia Wright will play a warrior in the 2018 Marvel superhero movie Black Panther. “It kind of reminds me of that picture of Tupac and Jada Pinkett in high school. Everybody’s gone off now to have their moments,” says Boyega. “I think our generation, we don’t want to wait around only to be given the same stereotyped roles again and again. We want to decide our own fate.”

[impromptu-manifesto]

The Literature of the Pandemic Is Already Here

For those engaging in quick-response art, mess and chaos—not polished elegance—are the forms to best mimic a crisis that has no end in sight.

Intimations BY ZADIE SMITH PENGUIN BOOKS And We Came Outside and Saw the Stars Again: Writers From Around the World on the COVID-19 Pandemic 

BY ILAN STAVANS (EDITOR) RESTLESS BOOKS

A bleak fact of writing is that honing sentences is often far easier than honing the thoughts they convey. 

A corollary fact is that polished, elegant prose serves as a useful, if not always intentional, hiding place for half-baked ideas. 

Walter Benjamin wrote that a key element of fascism is the aestheticization of politics— the concealment of bad thinking behind bright optics. Even in fascist-free situations, the concealment principle is common enough that I have come to approach beauty and neatness in art with some skepticism.

So far, the nascent literature of the coronavirus pandemic has reinforced my distrust. Three assemblies of coronavirus-response writing—

Zadie Smith’s essay collection Intimations; 

NY Times’ short-fiction compilation, The Decameron Project; and 

the mixed-genre anthology And We Came Outside and Saw the Stars Again, edited by Ilan Stavans—

tell me why: 

No one has had time to truly refine their ideas about personal life in a state of widespread isolation and existential dread, and literature, even when political, is a fundamentally personal realm.

It relies on the ability to channel inner experience outward, and because no inner experience of the coronavirus pandemic could plausibly be described as complete, prose that renders it static and comprehensible rings false. In the shaky realm of literature reacting quickly to a crisis in motion, mess and chaos are the forms that speak best to painful realities.

Zadie Smith opens Intimations, which contains six short, beautifully structured essays written largely in her characteristically gleaming prose, by acknowledging, 

“There will be many books written about the year 2020: historical, analytical, political, as well as comprehensive accounts. This is not any of those—the year isn’t halfway done. What I’ve tried to do is organize some of the feelings and thoughts that events, so far, have provoked in me.” 

So, instead of social insight, which Smith admits is not yet available, she chooses self-organization. The turn inward is entirely logical, but the structuring impulse does not bode well.

To be fair, Smith’s opting for order is unsurprising. 

In fiction, she’s a master of structure and form. Traditionally, she has allowed greater looseness in her essays and criticism—I am thinking, for instance, of Feel Free’s shaggy, implausibly delightful “Meet Justin Bieber!,” which uses a pop-star meet and greet as an occasion to revisit Martin Buber’s I and Thou—but not in Intimations. Its essays are short, tight, and glossy: pleasurable to read, but coy and cagey with their fundamental subject, which is death.

Take “Peonies,” in which a startling, lush garden sets Smith thinking about human vulnerability to biology. In theory, “Peonies” acknowledges the creative and destructive primacy of nature over determination—which includes its primacy over art. To Smith, art and determination are nearly synonymous: “Writing,” she explains, “is control. The part of the university in which I teach should properly be called the Controlling Experience Department. Experience … rolls over everybody. We try to adapt, to learn, to accommodate … But writers go further: they take this largely shapeless bewilderment and pour it into a mold of their own devising. Writing is all resistance” to experience.

Of course, this is not true for all writers. Some seek to portray bewilderment rather than shape it into reason. Smith attempts to do the former in “Peonies,” but when it comes time for her to wrangle with the crushing confusion and helplessness that disease generates, she bails on her project. The coronavirus appears explicitly in “Peonies” only once, not named but described as our “strange and overwhelming season of death”—and the moment Smith mentions it, she arrives at her argument’s end. “Peonies” is a conventionally structured literary essay, which means, as we learn in high school, that its conclusion recapitulates its beginning. Rather than continue thinking about overwhelming death, Smith returns to the place where “Peonies” began: a flower garden, and the stifled yearning for disorder that it provokes.

“Peonies” is not the only essay in which structure helps Smith turn from death. “The American Exception,” a linear, op-ed-style argument, addresses death as a mass phenomenon, but never as a personal one. “Something to Do,” a reflection on why writers write even in crisis, reads like the first portion of a writing-workshop lecture. In “Screengrabs (after Berger, before the virus),” Smith returns to the section-heavy style of her 2012 novel, NW, in which neat, titled chunks of narrative replicate the unwillingness of her hyper-controlled protagonist, Natalie, to engage with emotion. But here, Smith is the one unwilling to engage.

In its premise, “Screengrabs” does reach for emotion: Six of the essay’s seven sections are nonfictional character sketches in which Smith implicitly says goodbye to her New York life’s minor players before leaving to shelter in London. The essay is faintly elegiac—as I read, I could not escape thinking that its subjects, even the man who insists, “I survived WAY worse shit than this,” might not survive the virus. But its fragmentary structure lets Smith stop short of expressing grief. The form demands that she move quickly, even as its content might more fully emerge if she slowed down. The lone exception is the seventh section, titled “Postscript: Contempt as a Virus,” in which Smith describes and mourns the killing of George Floyd. Here, her dealing with death is not fleeting or abstract. Her prose is ragged and free of ornament; her consideration of racism as deadly contempt is the only idea that Intimations sees through from beginning to end. The reason seems clear: Floyd was killed in late May, and I received my advance copy of Intimations in mid-June. The section was evidently written quickly, but it emerges from centuries of American history. Smith has no need to hide behind structure here.

The Decameron Project has a bigger problem than a proclivity for organization. Many of its 29 stories are emotionally neat and one-note. Etgar Keret’s contribution, “Outside,” is unique in that its neatness is negative: Keret’s narrator squashes the common and sustaining dream of post-pandemic empathy and solidarity, asserting cynically, “The body remembers everything, and the heart that softened while you were alone will harden back up in no time.” Other contributors take the opposite approach, pursuing positivity and beauty at the expense of honesty. Take Alejandro Zambra’s “Screen Time,” in which the small graces of family life—watching a toddler sleep, conducting a fingernail-growing race—outweigh the stresses of quarantine, which Zambra describes with less imagination and in less detail. The mother in “Screen Time” manifests anxiety primarily by no longer “reading the beautiful and hopeless novels she reads,” which may reflect a common desire for optimism. But Zambra’s apartment-size world is too sweet, its calm too accessible and unexamined. The result is charming, but, for me, unconvincing.

Still, the Decameron Project does contain successes. Rachel Kushner, Téa Obreht, Leila Slimani, and Rivers Solomon all smartly smuggle very good stories about older, different topics—storytelling, exile, storytelling again, incarceration—into coronavirus frames. Only Tommy Orange dares an actual portrait of quarantine in “The Team,” which wobbles like a kid on her first two-wheel bike. Its language is often confusing, sometimes ugly. Words tumble from its narrator, who monologues about time, turkey vultures, marathons, pig slop, racism, Oakland housing prices, and more, with no plot or connective tissue between each topic but the speaker himself. The result demands attention simply by virtue of the narrator’s need to be heard. It has no moral or fixed meaning; to borrow Zambra’s formulation, it offers neither beauty nor hope. Yet as I read its description of time ticking past in quarantine, as “hidden and loud as the sun behind a cloud,” I felt a jolt of recognition. It is like that, I thought. Orange’s messy descriptions and run-on sentences, alone in the Decameron Project, offer small new truths.      

And We Came Outside and Saw the Stars Again, a genre- and border-crossing anthology of mostly translated reactions to the coronavirus, is full of mess. In fact, the editor Ilan Stavans seems to invite it. He juxtaposes styles—poetry next to literary criticism, experimental fiction next to personal essay—in a way that is consistently disorienting and sometimes jarring, but pleasantly so. He permits political contradiction: In one contribution, Mario Vargas Llosa lauds Spain’s quarantine protocols, while in another, the translator Teresa Solana expresses terror at the Spanish government’s treating the pandemic like “a war, establishing a military scenario and using bellicose language with patriotic resonances.” If Stavans’s goal were coherence, he might have cut one piece, but he lets both remain, offering non-Spanish readers multiple views of a country unclear about its path forward—and implicitly accepting his own lack of knowledge.

Uncertainty is a driving theme in And We Came Outside and Saw the Stars Again. So is brokenness: broken bodies, hearts, medical systems, immigration systems, and more. Lynne Tillman takes a Tommy Orange–like approach to the breakdown of time, writing hectic, unadorned prose that turns into a breathless pileup: “I am exhausted, lie down, sit up, touch my toes, swing my arms, make a phone call, ignore a call, hear a voice, see a message, answer it, don’t, there is plenty of time, too much time.” Tillman’s sentences are cramped, confined, and unbeautiful. They don’t try to impress the reader. Reading her contribution generates the same restless boredom a writer—or any inessential worker—might feel while pacing the same apartment for the 100th day, knowing that there’s nowhere to go. So does the French Tunisian writer Hubert Haddad’s, which takes the pileup strategy much further. His story is a collage of fictional “false starts, drafts, approximations, [and] broken-off openings” that describe and evoke the “hazy driftlessness” of quarantined life. Its choppy, static structure captures the dysfunction of pandemic time.

In a May essay on coronavirus journals, the New York Times book critic Parul Sehgal described the diaristic impulse as “beautifully ordinary.” 

Records of quarantine may be banal, she writes, but their very existence is reassuring enough to be lovely. In other forms of writing, however, beauty is not enough to comfort. In fact, it runs the risk of 

trivializing, 

distorting, or 

evading the crisis it portrays. 

Thus far, the coronavirus literature that works best admits certain truths about life mid-disaster: 

The news is terrible and relentless. 

Nobody knows what will happen. 

The search for a vaccine is ongoing, 

as is the search for sources of hope and meaning. 

Will the coronavirus pandemic lead to stronger social safety nets? 

Better health-care systems? 

Will it produce cohesion or despair? 

We have no way to know yet. What true story besides an uncertain, unbeautiful one is there to write?

[todokori-kun]

The

 queen is back and I’m so freaking happy <3

‘annoyed’ nothing you say is annoying ok, I’m actually just really relieved and happy that I’m helping in any way at all. Also you listen to my rambling all the time and you supported me with my anxiety (you have no idea how much our convos helped after I first saw a doctor about it and was feeling really confused about what to do) so ‘what did I do to deserve you’ is probably what I should be saying to you.

Tbh when things are as serious as you’ve described then you’re definitely not overreacting. Like I said before, I’m always ready to listen/talk when you need to. And you don’t have to stress about replies; I honestly don’t mind at all as long as you’re ok.

Thank you Queen Luna you’re the best ;-;

Also, good news and bad news:

Bad news- A bit after I sent the last message mom apparently found out about Tumblr and decided that I probably shouldn’t get an account here because of all the NSFW content. I get why she’s worried so I guess I won’t be getting an account here for a while.

Good news- HOWEVER, I was chatting with someone on ao3 and they asked if we could move our convo somewhere else. They recommended something called Discord so I got an account there. If you’ve never heard of Discord it’s basically a voice and text chat system usually used by gamers, but it seems to be pretty popular among non-gamers too. PMing is possible there :D (The only flaw is that you can’t send very long messages, so you have to send multiple short ones, which is a bit annoying…but otherwise it’s pretty neat so maybe we can try it if you’re ok with that?)

XD yeah that’s actually pretty accurate.

*reads Luna’s message*

*inhale*

UM. DO YOU HAvE ANY IDEA HOW AMAZING YOU ARE. LET ME TRY TO BE A GOOD, SUPPORTIVE FRIEND AND TELL YOU

Yep it was one of the grossest things that ever happened to me OTL I’m still swimming but I’m taking a long break right now- a break that started because my little sister broke her toe and we were basically stuck at home taking care of her (the pool is a bit far for me to go on my own so if mom’s stuck at home so am I), and then got longer because the pool’s old and some things had to be ‘fixed’, and then got even longer because my coach is getting married (just reread that and realized that I sound super annoyed, I’m actually not, I have no problem with my coach getting married XD). I’ll probably start again around next month, though :)

Thanks ^^

Oooh are you a comic fan??? I haven’t read any superhero comics because there seem to be so many AUs(?)/different timelines so trying to figure out where to start is really confusing, plus I actually sorta prefer manga/manhwa art styles (not that wester comics are bad- a lot of them have really good art too, I just personally prefer the manga/manhwa styles (especially for the panels). Also the ecchi-ish costumes/anatomy for almost every single female superhero gets a bit ridiculous sometimes lol). Some of them seem really fun, though, and I’d like to try them out someday…

It’s really cool that you’ve been a fan of T'challa for so long, it must’ve been even more exciting to see him in the movie :D

Imagine everyone watching The Winter Soldier together. Then the  'brainwashed bucky’ scenes start.

Illumi: *stares intently at the screen*

Illumi: I see no problem with this.

Watching Civil War and Leorio goes Dad Mode and covers Gon’s and Killua’s eyes when Hisoka starts making…innappropriate…noises during the fight scenes

(Hisoka low-key writing reader insert lemons about various MCU heroes. Most likely Natasha (because she’s a lot like Machi, his only female crush so far), Bruce (how Hisoka would love to unleash the beast), Thor (he’s a literal GOD imagine how badly he could mess Hisoka up *schwing*), Wanda, and Vision (he probably liked Loki too before Loki got beat up by the Hulk and Hisoka was like ‘oh I have a new senpai’)

Then Illumi gets Milluki (his tech genius little brother) to hack into Hisoka’s computer for info and is like 'what is this Hisoka I do not understand why you derive pleasure from this trash’)

Everyone thinks Gon should relate to Tony on a personal level but he doesn’t, because despite being a sunshine angel he’s also a freaking weird kid who doesn’t hate Ging. At all. (Though that might have something to do with the fact that he doesn’t even consider Ging his parent in the first place; he never even calls him 'dad’ or 'my father’)

Killua, on the other hand, relates to Bucky a bit too much and thinks HYDRA is basically the Zoldyck family.

Everybody’s Team Cap except for Illumi, who’s Team Iron Man (“Why would you want to break the rules?”), and then Hisoka randomly shows up like 'Team Hulk ;)’

Every time Howard Stark is mentioned everyone just stares at Ging, who shifts uncomfortably

(Yeah did I tell you about the time Leorio punched Ging for being a trash dad?)

OMG. Thank you for that. I’ve seen a lot of 'Hisoka as the clown from the 'It’ movie’ posts on tumblr but never any fanart for that idea. Run, Gon. Run.

I’m considering teaching myself to animate just to make those animatics XD

(Also, random thing: it’s Chuseok over here (basically like the Korean version of Thanksgiving, I guess?) and usually, people recieve money from older relatives during holidays like this in Korea. I got about 80 dollars (50 from my maternal grandparents, 10 from my paternal grandfather and 20 from my uncle) so I’m debating on what to spend it on: It’s either a tablet so I can learn how to do digital art (I’m thinking about polishing my drawing skills for a while and then making a webcomic. My parents support this so they’re willing to pay a little extra for a tablet) or a ukulele (I like the piano but I realized a while ago that it’d be great to have an instrument that I can carry around, so I did some research and the ukulele seems good. I really like the sound so I’m willing to put some effort into learning it). Idk which one I should choose, though. Technically the tablet should be my priority but I also like the ukulele…

(and idek why I mentioned this either, guess the talk about animating reminded me of the tablet lol))

I thrive on angst. Tragedy fuels me. (But tbh HxH is a LOT darker than I was prepared for. I’m currently shipping an ant king with a genius human girl and I know from spoilers that they’re both going to die)

Yeah, she’s alive :D but apparently Kaneki is now 'dead’ (though I don’t think he is really, if Ishida kills him off now (after all the stuff with Hide? All the character development Ken hasn’t gotten yet? When he still hasn’t talked about anything with Shuu or Hinami or even Akira?) and gives us a new protagonist or something I might finally rage-quit this series.

Or not, since with all the Touken stuff and Kaneki being sorta insensitive ever since he became the OEK…maybe a new protagonist is what we need?). I was liking all the parallels with Arima in the first series until this, because it was just…um. I think my main problem with the whole thing is the freakng PACING because it just feels so clunky and awkward. This is probably one of those chapters that will be really good if Ishida somehow manages to connect it with the next chapters and has everything make sense later, but if he doesn’t do it well it’s going to suck forever OTL

At least TG finally confirmed Naki’s death, though. I mean, the ideal situation for me is if he never died in the first place, but at least a confirmed death is better than Ishida suddenly bringing him back to life after that panel with Yamori. And his death scene was handled well. (Now please just tell me that he, Kanae and Hairu aren’t coming back as Kanou-Furuta zombies and I will be semi-satisfied)

Also AOT if you haven’t read the new chapter yet spoilers but

(The-Reiner-Eren reunion I HAVE WAITED SO. LONG FOR THIS

Also Eren’s grandad ;-;

And maybe we’ll finally be seeing Annie again soon since she’s been appearing in so many flashbacks and Reiner’s probably going to ask about her if he and Eren get to actually talk

Love those hints about something finally starting to change

ANOTHER PERSON FROM MIKASA’S CLAN? I hope we see this lady again, she’s lovely

I can’t believe how much the art has improved, it actually looks GOOD now 0.0)

Aw, that’s ok! I’ll be looking forward to seeing it when you get a new skirt :D

Yeah, I’m really excited for OC’s name too…must be something important if they’re keeping it hidden for this long. I guess it’s French (or a word from some other non-English language) since 'Ciel’ is French for 'Sky’…and it probably has a meaning related to the sky since they’re twins. Idk. Maybe it’s the word for 'star’ ('etoile’) since stars are also a big thing in this arc?

Looking forward to your reaction! I haven’t read the novel yet but from what I know it sounds great :D (also I cannot resist the L + Naomi duo even if they never actually interacted in manga/anime canon)

Btw, is it ok if I ask how far you’ve gotten with the DN anime?

(Also fun fact: Ryuk was originally designed to look like a handsome young man (an 'attractive rock star’, in the words of DN’s creators. You can find a pic of his original design on google). His design was changed because the creators felt like he was overshadowing Light XD

But also, I just found a post on tumblr that said Takeshi Obata (DN’s artist) mentioned that Ryuk’s face in canon could just be a mask to hide his true appearance…which means that he could technically still look like that in canon. Wow. I actually think I have the book where it says Obata mentioned that, I have to go and check it now lol)

Watch it if you dare and prepare to weep over all the wasted potential, because now that I read/watch more about it I guess the saddest thing is that it COULD have been great. I mean, like I said, the visuals are REALLY good, L’s actor could have been a good L if not for the bad script, Ryuk’s actor/design were also super great (it’s just his role in the movie and his motivations they messed up ;-;)…

I don’t watch Avatar (I’d like to when I have the time, though, because it seems like a great show) but I’ve heard of that movie and tbh I can’t even.

Ty :D (Ayy the queen said I’d make a cute Peridot *fangirls*

You’re also my closest friend right now and I love talking to you so much <3 thank you for everything Luna.)

See this is why you’re awesome. Thank you so much ;-; (and what, did Queen Luna mention me to her parents. Did I make a good impression. Omg. (jk, jk lol))

Also: I’d like to rec a song to you, it’s called 'Lovely’ by Twenty One Pilots :D

Oh look I actually replied within a week :’)

OK ILL START W DISORD BC IM EXCITE. I already have one, from a while ago, my # is 5773! So add me whenever you want ^^ ((But please just send me a short message here, cause I turned notifs off for it, so i can turn them on again ^^)) Well, uh, here’s the thing about short messages.  If a site/app has an instant message feature, you can bet I’ll be the one to split a sentence into 10 separate messages for dramatic effect… So, uh, prepare to have 42 new messages instead of like 4 waiting when you open the app ^^

I never ever ever have any problems with listening to you. I just appreciate you’re comfortable enough with me to be able to come to me. Honestly, I truly appreciate you in my life, especially considering that you can always reassure me with your words ^^ Truly a writer’s talent :p

Well, I’m going to a psychologist soon, so we’ll see what they’ll say. Idk tho, I dont think I even care anymore. I just want this stomach thing to pass as soon as possible.

Ouch, I hope your sister is better now… I’ve never broken anything so I wouldn’t know the feeling. Aww, coaches getting married is actually the cutest thing ever XD My archery coach got married a few years back and she was practically glowing.  Ah, if you don’t mind me asking, do you have a particular stroke you specialise in or do you just swim everything? 

I could say the same about comic/manga styles. Tbh, I don’t really consider myself a comic fan? When I was a kid, I used to buy the children’s comics to ward off boredom, but never really continued after I got into reading actual books. Black Panther happened to be among those comics and I remembered him when they mentioned T’Challa in CW. I wonder if i still have those old comics somewhere… But yeah, i was pretty excited when they mentioned him XD

That viewing actually sounds amazing… I get the feeling they’d all want to do an in depth analyzation of the characters? (But idk i don’t really know the characters that well) except for Hisoka, who’s probably just schwinging around being creepy per usual. I’m torn between wanting to read those lemons and just backing the fuck away…. Probably read like a paragraph and then set everything on fire. Yeah, that sounds good. 

I presume you’re not gonna watch IT? Random, but i thought of it bc of the fanart… Tbh I won’t watch it either. I’ve never watched a single horror movie in my life and i intend to keep it that way. Unless you count Coraline as horror, which I actually would in some ways? Idk tho, that movie traumatised me. Not even joking when I say I occasionally have nightmares related to it. Advice; if you haven’t, DO NOT WATCH CORALINE. Don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s a cartoon. I mean 9 is a cartoon, but it’s also freaking dark. HAPPY TREE FRIENDS IS A CARTOON AND I WOULDNT TOUCH THE VIDEOS WITH A 9 FOOT POLE.  Long story short, cartoons are not a joke.

For some reason I confused the Ukulele with a Lute and was like ‘I’m not gonna judge, but… why?’ then i actually googled it and realised I’m an idiot.  But, um, I can’t say anything other than it’s your choice and you should do whatever would make you happier? There’s that trick of throwing a penny in the air and if you’re disappointed when it lands heads/tails, you know you want the other one. Idk, tho, both options sound equally nice!

… HxH gets weirder every time you tell me about it

KANEKI IS WHAT NOW Um, okay then.... alrighty...

guess who dropped TG again

WELL FUCK IM SCREAMING ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER WHOAH EREN’T GRAMPA WHOAH THE REUNION However, the best part is Reiner acting like a dad during the festival

Oooh Etoile would be interesting!

I’m still at the ep where L dies ;-; I haven’t had the time to move forward, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to watch some during this weekend

Well, uh. My mom came into my room while I was writing this and had to ask me why i was crying (I’m pretty sure she thought I was having one of my all-time-lows again). The reason why I was actually crying? The song. Words can’t express my gratitude. I’d download it, but tbh I feel like I’ll start ugly sobbing again every time I listen to it...

random note, i started going to school by train! It’s actually a lot nicer than the bus and cheaper XD Idk why i put this here but yay