#ANGSTY ALEX

[the-slasher-files]

BLEEDING WOUNDS

ALEX KELLER

Angst, angst and angst! I had to release some trauma wounds so here we are for the short fic. A reader as Alex's s/o dealing with him being gone and having Farah's goal now be his... enjoy with a tense heart 🤍🔪

MASTERLIST

They always said time would fix things. You'd get used to it. Learn how to sleep alone again, learn how to be ok with no replies when you would text or call. Just needed time.

Time.

The clock ticked away on your nightstand. 8 hours of sleep somehow turned into 6, then 5. It was wasting away between the tangled sheets that you no longer felt comfortable in.

2am.

Fuck.

You rolled again onto your side, your shoulder hurt, having been on this side one too many times gazing at the spot where he was supposed to be. He had been there every night for 2 years, gritted teeth and a burning heart, steeling himself to a savage battle and he wanted to be the berserker. A mission he'd give his life for, and he almost did. Your best friend had said you lost the man you loved when he ran down through those piped corridors for her, for her people. It was something you had refused to swallow as the vemon had already soaked through the skin of your lips. You had been there every day and every night as he had to relearn how to walk, get through the night terrors and speaking her name in the dark when he reached for her in a firey collapsing mine.

Another turn, you grabbed your phone. 2:17am. Looking for the notification that he was ok or his typical 'goodnight darling' message. There was nothing but the rising bile within the pit of your esophagus and that blinking bar, daring you to beg for something, just a fucking ounce of what you used to have and to type your vulnerabilities out in blood. It would stain you both in the viscera of a gunshot and you lay tempted by fate.

'Hey'

It seemed so meek, like you were speaking to a stranger and not your partner of 7 years.

'I can't sleep... hope you got to base safe. Love you and miss you hubby'

Vulnerability leaks from your lungs in a shaky breath, spilling between the sheets you once shared. Your eyes danced across the pixels, reading it over and over again. A lump in your throat was getting harder to swallow as the emotions of something similar to grief nailed into your head like a coffin.

It was then when the room was a lit by the screen. Alex's face plastered in his beaming smile, tattooed arm around your body as you clung to him — The photo had been captured by Price, many years ago, one of the first parties you had ever been to with his army buddies. You remember the warmth there. Laughs and drinks in the safety of friends that had become family. Trust bonds stronger here than any Christmas party you had with your own blood. You felt protected in his arms, his honey coated voice as he pulled your hips into his. Lips brushing into your hairline, "I love you angel. My everything"

"Alex!"

A tired smile pulled effortlessly on your face as his phone struggled to connect to whatever satellite it could. Grainy imagery came into focus. He was beautiful. Gear heavy and bulking Alex's toned form, light brown hair ruffled with sand grains that seemed to be endless no matter how long he stayed home, and the way the golden sun illuminated that smile. The sight alone pulled on your heart strings and tears formed a glass cover over your eyes.

"Hi, babygirl," His gentle voice eased your muscles against the pillows. "...Someone's supposed to be sleeping"

Alex teased, pursing his lips as the dim light showed the tears on your waterline. He just watched quietly, a storm of guilt, love and something he couldn't place his tongue on pooled within him. This fight was ripping his ribcage open, sky blue eyes observing the way you closed your eyes in the same fight. Barrel of hot guns twisting in knife wounds, both fingers laying upon the trigger.

"C-couldnt..." You met his face again, your smile only able to hold for a few seconds. "I'm just glad you're at base safe"

Genuinely, you were, unable to manage the thoughts of him ever laying in that hospital bed again, let alone unresponsive in the desert dunes under a foot of rubble.

"I'm glad, too, angel," He smirked, his large gloved hand pulling on the necklace you had gifted him and bringing it to his already dry lips. "I miss you and that bed... These cots aren't exactly luxury."

Alex pulled the camera to show you around his minimal tent, just a setup for the next 2 days. And of course, there was a cot next to his and a new scarf laid upon his pillow.

"... Got to base a few hours ago, just been saying hi to everyone again... They've been teaching me new words..."

It stung. Being with service and being in a safe place without a single message.

"... And, look what Farah got me," He showed off the scarf before tying it in place around his neck. "guess everyone's happy I'm back and alive. Got a lot of new nicknames 'cause of my leg"

His chuckle was warm over your speaker, a flood of feelings keeping you quiet as his voice broke you, yet made you feel so safe in the lonely bed. The pull of sleep tugging at your collar.

"Alex..." Your hushed murmur made the new Man O'Steel stop, sitting on the cot. Bringing his full attention back on you, his girl. His girl, you convinced yourself of.

"Gettin' sleepy by my voice again, darling?" Alex's voice was smooth with edges of the playful cockiness.

"Just... Missed you." Pulling the sheets up and snuggling closer as if he were there, "You know you make me feel safe..." there was a long pause "No matter what happens, I'm sure I'd still fall asleep to you."

You could hear the strong inhale of his caution, unsure of what he could say to a woman that was so strong, that he loved, but was struggling to keep... and he watched it slip slowly like the sand between in his gloved fingers.

"You want me to stay here? Make sure you get to sleep?" It was quiet, a sniffle on the end of your line as you nodded into the sheets.

"Please..."

"I— I can only be here for a while, angel" Alex breathlessly spoke.

You were just pawns to each others torture. Crying alone as he stared with trigger fingers.

"... Baby..."

"I love you, Alex"

"I'm sorry..."

[ray-green-wicked4good]

Alex: It's weird how British people say "trousers" instead of "pants", isn't it? Kinda like how Dubs says "you are a disappointment" instead of "I love you".

Kevin:

Sykes:

Jupiter:

Audrey: *sighing as she offers her martini* Do you wanna sip of this?

[asroarke]

Do you prefer writing angsty multi-chapter fics or fluffy one-shots? With you, it's either one or the other lol.

Did you just ask a lady bi to choose between two things? In my bisexual house???

Just kidding. I gotchu. Yeah, lately it’s been either a way too long angst monster or a 3k fluff puppy. Honestly, I prefer writing the longer angsty pieces. I’m that gal who still listens to MCR on the reg and who seems to be drawn to the darkest tv shows possible. Angst might as well be my middle name (except not because AAS isn’t as cute for initials)

But the fluff has been a lot of fun. I keep coming up with fluffy prompts (especially with all the cheesy hallmark movies that are playing nonstop in my house these days) and writing them down for a rainy day. When things are getting too dark in my main fic, I’ll break out a prompt I wrote for myself and write down something that makes me smile. This is my version of self-care, making sure that I get breaks from the angst and darkness of whatever it is that I’m working on so it doesn’t start to affect me emotionally. 

Also, counter point, I do have two fics that are a nice in-between:

-Medici Magic- I mean, it has points of angst and drama and is hella long, but there’s also a lot of fluffy moments throughout. I mean, it’s about the delinquents working at a Renaissance Fair. This is angst-lite at worst. 

-Matched- Same thing. Angst and drama, but not that much in comparison to literally every other multi-chapter I’ve written. It’s a reality show, ya’ll. Angst-lite with ten happy af endings. 

[sunkenheart-restrainingchest]

AM I TOO LOST TO BE SAVED?  AM I TOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOST

[askalexkralie-blog]

I was about to make a post about being somewhere.

HAHA, I GUESS I FORGOT EVERYONE ON MY TUMBLR WANTS TO KILL ME OR WORSE.