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nugnthopkns · 3 years

Text

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don’t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It’s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!” you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

#i don't love this but here it is!!!#one day i'll like the stories i write #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #philadelphia flyers imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #sour

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incorrect-natshig · 3 years

Note

Do you have natshig fic recs? 👀

THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE ASK ANON TYSM💗💗✨

putting it under a cut bcs there's a whole lot more than you would've bargained for💖

The Blocked Hooligans by aphrodaisyacs (11.4k, single chapter) prequel

On January 24, Twitter users @diamond_dust404, @jackedfrost and @icespicebaby formed a group chat when they all got blocked by Endeavor’s official Twitter account. After nearly ten months of developing into a chaotic adoptive family of three, it all changes when Jacked Frost (Todoroki Natsuo) and Ice Spice (Todoroki Shouto) accidentally find out that they are brothers in real life. Clearly, the next step is to meet with their third member, right?

wii music by constellore (43k, 7/30 chapters)

If, five years ago, someone told Natsuo that not only was he going to find his long-lost older brother, but that he was also going to learn that his sister’s best friend was a villain, gain a sorta - kinda fake boyfriend in the leader of the League of Villains, and be partially responsible for the redemption of two of the most wanted men in Japan, he would have told them that they were nuts.

luminous things by cirriform (3k, single chapter)

Natsuo teaches Shigaraki how to fold paper cranes.

Bullet Wounds and Book Work by Mishafy (20.6k, ongoing)

Shigaraki Tomura, at Kurogiri's suggestion, joined a med school track to make up for the lack of a party healer. It just so happened that Todoroki Natsuo was taking the same online course.

The Todoroki In-Laws by aphrodaisyacs (30.6k, complete)

Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings. Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but honestly, where’s the fun in that? (chatfic)

Lingering by thyandra (2k, single chapter)

Natsuo sighed, closing the fridge door. He was so immersed in his pointless musings that he didn’t immediately hear the furious buzzing nearby, muffled by a pillow as it was. That is, until the thing fell to the floor—Shigaraki’s phone, Natsuo recognized once he glanced that way. He shouted a call of his name, but only got a muffled grumble back. Shigaraki was no doubt too absorbed in his game to give a fuck about his still buzzing device, and Natsuo- Natsuo hadn’t really meant to catch a glimpse of the screen. (Tomura has Natsuo as his lockscreen. Natsuo finds out.)

Caught Me at a Record Low by nocturnalgf (9.8k, ongoing)

It starts, as many things do, in a dirty alley. Shigaraki is dying, probably, until Natsuo comes to help him. And after that, Natsuo can't keep himself away.

Shigaraki Tomura’s Walkthrough to Infiltrating a University, Getting a Boyfriend, and More by JajaLala (73k, complete)

In order to recruit Dr. Ujiko Daruma, his Sensei's old doctor who fled after his arrest, Shigaraki must infiltrate the university the doctor is now working at. Problem is, even when he and some League members enroll as students, they discover it's almost impossible to meet the doctor unless you're enrolled in his advanced seminar. Fortunately, Shigaraki meets Natsuo, a premed in Dr. Ujiko's seminar, whose trust he must earn to meet the elusive doctor. However, the two of them might have more in common than Shigaraki expects...

Snow Day by Sensationalcrazyna (700 words, single chapter)

Shigaraki hates snow, but he'll go for his boyfriend.

The Todoroki Family is a Disaster™ by Tigers101 (2.7k, single chapter)

The Todoroki family is a disaster, and family dinner is even worse. Or, Fuyumi is going to lose her shit because she's apparently one of the only sane ones.

we will dream of the sea by crumbsfiction (3.6k, single chapter)

It’s a mechanism of self-defense, after all - trying so hard to be liked. If he can gain Tomura’s approval, if he can prove himself to this group, Natsuo will be fine. It will all have been worth it, dragging his name through the mud in search of a ghost. Besides, watching Tomura comes easily - in fact, Natsuo barely has to think about it at all.

Hoodie by MangoQueen (1k, single chapter)

Shigaraki gets cold and Natsuo offers for him to borrow a hoodie

Dear Tomura, I Hate You. Now Let's Play Some Video Games by IDealess_at_this (6.6k, ongoing)

Natsuo finds himself in the library after a terrible family dinner. However, after an unconventional meeting, he also finds himself being held hostage by the worst villain league ever. Getting revenge on his father while helping each member of the dysfunctional family through their struggles in the process doesn’t sound too bad!

and of course my beloved AUs💗

a coin to a crane by bittermoons (22k, 5/10 chapters)

Two ordinary (or so they think) high school students from Tokyo stumble upon another world through their dad’s dojo, leading to all sorts of bizarre consequences when they meet a cosplaying asshole of a kodama—a tree spirit—on the other side. Who knew useless video game knowledge and an unlimited cell phone data plan would come in so handy?

sugar and spice by bittermoons (4.7k, single chapter)

Shigaraki Tomura is a judge who hates soggy bottoms on The Great Japanese Bake-Off. Todoroki Natsuo is a stand-up comedian most famous on the web for making fun of his SO, who he calls 'Tanaka Taro' in all his routines. When Natsuo joins the crew of Bake-Off, online speculation explodes over his relationships with Shigaraki and Taro.

hazy days under august shade with you (it's all like magic to me) by constellore (8k, single chapter)

Natsuo is content living in the small village of Eadu, but when his brother becomes the victim of a curse, he's left scrambling for a way to undo it. Desperate for a cure, he manages to find the mysterious Magician of the Western Mountains—a man who raises far more questions than answers, especially when Natsuo finds himself volunteering to spend the summer in the mountains with him in order to aid him in breaking Touya's curse. Love had never been part of the equation, but between sweltering summer days and conversations in the dead of night, Natsuo can't say that he minds.

Love Comes Slow (and goes so fast) by Tigers101 (14.8k, single chapter)

"I’ve never been enough.” Natsuo's expression darkened. “I’ve always been the failure of a middle child, worthless and alone. I’ve never been anything to anyone." Tenko looked at him, his eyebrows creased in something close to anger. “Well, everyone else can go fuck themselves. You’re everything to me.” (natshig fantasy au + major character death)

Here Be Faeries by cafeanna (5k, single chapter)

“Terrible thing, terrible thing,” The burning man tusked and tisked. “Caught the eye of a Prince, gave a Name, and killed the King. Now he wears a crown of blooded amber and elk horn, and sleeps on a bed of thistle and roses. The King calls him frostbite, willow-boned, and beloved.”

Natsuo Todoroki walked into the woods at the beginning of summer and never came out. A month later, Fuyumi and Shouto are left in the aftermath of a missing person’s case and a growing fear of the place they grew up.

Know That You Love Me (even when I lose my head) by Tigers101 (1.5k, single chapter)

“I hate you.” Tenko grinned. “No, I really don’t think that’s the case. You wouldn’t have saved me from homework if that were the case.” (natshig roleswap au)

#fair warning but some of these are also dabihawks if that's not your cup of tea #feel free to add more!!<33 #i had to physically hold myself back from adding more hhh #this is long enough as it is #this gave me a good excuse to reread all my favourite fics💗#h2g i owe fanfic authors my life^^#thanks for the ask!!#not a quote #fic recs✨

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beginagaininspo · 3 years

Text

THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY

— BEGIN AGAIN BLACKOUT INSPIRED MEME !!

( add a && for a reverse on the prompts that are muse specific in action. )

WORD PROMPTS

[ elevator ] for OUR MUSES to get trapped in an elevator and have to find their way out.

[ mirror ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to find the POSTER’S MUSE confronting an evil specter version of themselves.

[ green glow ] for OUR MUSES to see come into contact with a strange construct.

[ panic ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to become overwhelmed and the POSTER’S MUSE to try and provide them comfort.

[ distress call ] for OUR MUSES to respond to a distress call from heroes/a stranded ship/someone else!

[ ghosts ] for OUR MUSES to believe that they’re seeing ghosts of the past.

[ walk ] for OUR MUSES to go on a walk to cure their boredom.

[ assist ] for OUR MUSES to attempt to provide medical assistance to civilians.

[ care ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to help patch a wound on the POSTER’S MUSE.

[ head first ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to run into danger.

[ dare ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to dare the POSTER’S MUSE to touch a construct.

[ fall ] for the POSTER’S MUSE to pick themselves up off the ground with the help of the SENDER’S MUSE.

[ hand ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to offer assistance to the POSTER’S MUSE.

[ phone ] for the SENDER’S MUSE to keep checking their phone and the POSTER’S MUSE calling them out on it.

[ identity theft ] for POSTER’S MUSE to confront SENDER’S MUSE over something an evil specter version of themselves did.

[ uber ] for SENDER’S MUSE to flag down POSTER’S MUSE after their car is damaged in the blackout.

SENTENCE STARTERS

“This shit happens like clockwork.”

“The conspiracy theorists were right, huh? We rely too much on technology.”

“Do I waste the last of my battery on a flashlight?”

“We should get out there and help people.”

“You can actually see the stars now.”

“Who is attacking the city this time?”

“I feel... I feel strange.”

“It’s okay, I’m right here. You’re not alone.”

“I’m fine! Leave me alone!”

“Anger is a weak word for what I’m feeling.”

“Stop talking, you’re just pissing me off!”

“Empty. It just feels empty. Like nothing.”

“Giving in is easier. It feels better.”

“I just want them to feel what I feel!”

“You don’t understand — you’ve never understood!”

“Stop telling me how to feel!”

“I can’t control it.”

“Tell me that you saw that too.”

“I feel like I’m losing my mind!”

“Conceal, don’t feel, right? Elsa was onto something there.”

“We can’t just sit this out — people need help!”

“This is some purge level bullshit.”

“Hey, look at me. It’s over, you’re safe.”

“I’ve got this handled — back off!”

“We can’t just let them get away!”

“The city needs us, get up.”

“We don’t have the privilege of sitting aside.”

“Is this another alien invasion type thing? I always knew that guy on the History Channel had a point.”

“You’re looking a lot less green than the last time I saw you.”

TEXTS

[ text ] tell me you have service

[ text ] have you heard from MUSE? they’re not answering their phone!

[ text ] you see anything weird?

[ text ] i hate blackouts...

[ text ] this is the start of a horror movie, i can feel it

[ text ] this better not be the purge!

[ text ] if you don’t hear from me again it’s bc my battery is at 1% and i never thought portable chargers were useful lmao

[ text ] why do people scream when the lights go out? it’s not that big of a deal!

[ text ] the worst part about this is that i just ordered food

[ text ] you know what would be great right now? ghost hunting

[ text ] i bet this sort of shit never happens to ryan and shane

[ text ] rip to my data

[ text ] pretty sure my neighbor was in the shower by all the yelling

[ text ] do you think taco bell is open?

[ text ] i have to do something. i’m going crazy just sitting here...

[ text ] don’t freak out, but do you have any gauze at your place?

[ text ] do you think tony stark would let me charge my phone at his place?

[ text ] i knew this hand crank flashlight would come in handy someday

[ text ] the blackout sucks and all, but my apartment smells amazing with all the candles burning

#beginagainblackout

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arse-crack-thistle · 4 years

Text

gifts

rwrb and the five love languages | part two

in which june struggles to have a nice valentine’s date with nora

June never expected to care this much about a stupid holiday like Valentine’s Day, but here she is, practically renovating the apartment to give her girlfriend a perfect night. She strings LED lights around the entire living room ceiling and uses Command hooks to drape the sheer, white Ikea curtains she bought on sale months ago in preparation for this. The lights glow pink through the curtains, making the usually neutral-toned living room appear like Aphrodite’s palace. June’s moved the coffee table into her room and replaced it with a fluffy blanket and a picnic set-up to rival TikTok lesbians. All she needs now is Nora, if only she weren’t stuck at school.

The texts say, Will be late! Data mining for the gods! [Monet X Change gif] I want to be home with you though. Will bring noodles! And chocolate! Scratch that, I ate the chocolate. Sorry.

June knows she shouldn’t be annoyed because Nora has no idea what she’s coming home to. She also knows who she got into a relationship with—a brilliant mind that’s constantly moving parsecs a minute and has a hard time communicating her feelings. June has to remind herself that Nora loves her even if she doesn’t always show it.

That’s what tonight is for. It’ll give them time to slow down and just be together. Break the routine. Talk or not talk. She doesn’t expect it to be mushy or obnoxious—June isn’t a super, flowery romantic herself—but she does want another sentimental moment to hold onto forever.

Like the night of the 2020 election over a year ago. After Alex and Henry slipped away and everyone else was celebrating in their own groups, Nora pulled June into a storage closet at the venue and kissed her point blank, leaving no questions in her mind that their dabbles the months before meant something more than spectacular.

Or like six months ago when Nora asked her if she wanted to move in with her. She didn’t do anything particularly special, but she slammed her laptop shut while June was throwing on one of her sweatshirts and asked her to stay—to take the second bedroom because Nora needs space sometimes—but to stay with her because she was her favorite person. June answered with a happy “yes,” and Nora got up and kissed her. They didn’t talk much more about it; June just packed up her room at the White House and let the world think they were very best friends.

June pours a glass of wine and waits on the couch, flipping through social media. A few hours ago, her brother posted a picture from the Valentine’s gala he and Henry threw for the London queer youth center. Alex, Henry, Bea, Catherine, and even Philip and Martha hold champagne flutes with cheeky smiles on their faces. The POTUS account has a sweet yet posed picture of her mother and Leo. She likes everything she sees, from the various celebrities she follows to the photos she’s tagged in by fans. The time on her phone reminds her Nora’s now over an hour late.

She texts her, Home soon?

Ten minutes later her phone dings. Need more time. Almost done!

You are aware it’s Valentine’s, yes? And that we had plans?

Yes!!!! But flexible plans, right? Not like we can’t eat noodles and make out later. Will leave soon though. Promise.

I got food covered. Just get home please.

June sighs. She thought she made it clear this morning that they deserved a night with no distractions. God, they need to talk; she’s afraid to, but nothing will get better if she doesn’t say anything and if they don’t try.

The charcuterie board spread she copied off of Pinterest has been sitting out for a while so she moves it from the floor to the fridge. “Soon” for Nora could mean an hour. Empty coffee mugs line the sink. An open pack of weed gummies sits on the counter, hardening. Binders of paperwork and schoolwork collect on the kitchen table. There’s so much Nora in here. June redecorated the living room and kitchen when she moved in, but Nora’s managed to touch everything.

She smiles. If this were Alex, she’d be pissed at the mess, but it’s Nora. The beautiful, erratic mess that is Nora. The girl who can have four different shows on at once and can still get shit done. The girl who always burns pancakes when she tries to cook breakfast for June. The girl who never fails to kiss her first.

June won’t lose her. So she sits down on the floor, runs her fingers over the fleece, and waits. And drinks more wine.

Sometime later, when a key turns in the lock, she downs the last sip in her glass and sets it down. Some old love songs play from her phone, the ones she and Nora love to make fun of. She hears her girlfriend curse when her key gets stuck, and then she bursts through the door and catches herself before she could slip on the hardwood.

“I know you said you got food covered, but I got noodles any—Whoa! You did all of this?” Nora walks into the living room with takeout bags in her hands and stares, mesmerized, at the ceiling. Her contacts must’ve been bothering her because she has on her back-up glasses.

“Hi. Happy Valentine’s Day,” June says and reaches for Nora’s hand to pull her down.

“I’m sorry, June. I had no idea. I thought we both hated this holiday, so tonight wasn’t that big of a deal. But this—this is beautiful,” Nora says, having a hard time meeting June’s eyes.

“Thanks.” June rubs Nora’s hand with her thumb. “And this isn’t really about the holiday. I just wanted to give something nice to you—to us—just us. With no distractions.”

The strings from “At Last” by Etta James play from the phone. The curtains billow from the air blowing out the vent. As much as she hates to ruin the moment, June has to start the conversation.

But Nora takes a deep breath and talks first. “I know I’m a bit all over the place but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I just have a lot going on.”

“I know, but sometimes it feels like you don’t care about us as much as I do. It feels like an afterthought to you,” June says.

“That’s not true, June! Come on! You know me.” She grabs June’s other hand and squeezes.

She squeezes back. “You don’t act with feelings in mind, but I know you have them. And I know it’s hard for you, but I need you to share them with me more. I need a reminder that you care every once in a while.”

Nora’s quiet. She uses her arm to wipe her eyes, knocking her glasses off. “I—I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

June’s chest collapses. She wraps Nora up in her arms. “I’m sorry, Nor. I don’t mean you’re not enough for me. I love you so much. I—”

“No, I understand. I just—I need help with that. I need you to tell me when you need more—maybe not after the fact like now but—”

June laughs and pulls away. “You’re right. I have a stewing problem. I just assume you’ll eventually get it.”

“Yeah, don’t assume that.” Nora laughs too—the big kind that shows all of her teeth. “Reign me in when I’ve been off for too long. And know it’s not on purpose. I’m seriously spiraling in my own head the majority of the time.”

“Ha! And a hot head it is too.”

They both pause and look into each other’s eyes. And bust out into laughing fits. June makes a fart sound with her mouth, and Nora tackles her. They rumble around on the blanket for about forty seconds before June’s wine glass tips over and surprisingly bounces instead of shattering.

The girls take that as an opportunity to stop and pour some more glasses of wine. Nora preps the takeout while June brings the charcuterie board back to the indoor picnic. Nora changes the music to some weird techno shit, but June snatches the phone. They compromise with One Direction, which makes no sense since 1. June only knows their last album and 2. Nora definitely remembers the story of June turning down the advances of one Niall Horan when she did the daytime talk show circuit after her book deal was announced.

Either way, they stuff their faces and end up cuddled on the floor.

Nora interrupts the moment. “Before we get to sexy time—"

“Jesus Christ.”

“I just wanted to give you something. I would’ve saved it for your birthday, but I can get you something else.” She pops up from the floor and jogs to her bedroom. When she reemerges, she’s carrying a bunched-up blanket. “I didn’t have time to properly wrap it because—you know, you weren’t going to get it yet—although, it probably wouldn’t’ve been wrapped later either—but anyways, happy Valentine’s Day.”

She crouches down and hands over the present. She smiles and bops up and down in anticipation. June unwraps the blanket and sees a book.

It’s one of those photobooks you can get at Walgreens, and on the cover, it reads, “Catalina June Claremont-Diaz and Nora Elizabeth Holleran are NOT good friends…” June flips it over. “They’re fucking GIRLFRIENDS!” Inside is page after page of pictures as early as the day they first met and as recent as New Year’s Eve a month ago. A lot of candid pics they take of each other—Nora’s favorites. A lot of sleepy, cuddle pics—June’s favorites. It’s so perfect.

“Nora—this is—wow.” She feels the tears coming. No one has given her anything like this before.

“I’ll be better—”

“So will I.”

“No matter where my head’s at, I’m always thinking of you—just 50 million other things as well,” Nora says and cups her chin.

June leans in. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nora kisses her, and everything wound up in June relaxes. Her body is so warm. “Best Song Ever” starts playing.

Cue sexy time.

check out the rest of my rwrb and the five love languages series: part one, part three, part four, and part five. (links to come as they’re released)

so this could be for quality time or gifts, but i decided to go with gifts since i had no other ideas for it! it’s definitely not my love language (quality time for the win!) but i had to write something lol. so i made it sapphic bc everything gay is better! <3

rwrb romance week | @rwrb-fests

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scaramoon · 3 years

Note

DB SB 32 72 THATS MY POTNA DEM bare w me pls, it’s been stuck in my head all day SJDJD

...hi lore ( ・∇・) i haven’t been here in a while but i hope you’re having an extraordinary day ☆～('▽^人) proud to come back at say that i’ve finally got the bag secured (kazuha came home twice in the same roll) ALSO i tried a lvl 90 domain for the first time even though my characters are underleveled and IT WAS SO EASY it’s way easier than the lvl 80 one that i was struggling on (idk how)

i think this happened like two weeks ago but i deleted obey me bc my storage ran out HDFJDK i suppose i’ll miss seeing mammon’s face every once a week (bc in truth, i cannot bring myself to open the app everyday)

also the 1.7 (or 2.0?? ppl are saying it’s gna b called that so idk JFBSJ) livestream or something is gonna come out soon—and about inazuma, when the time comes to download the data for the map....unfortunately honkai is getting kicked off of my phone too (︶︹︺)

—hacker

i feel like ive got a lot more to share with you, but my brain has burned out and this is already getting a little long so— have a great rest of your day lore <3

hi bby !! sorry for the late reply i’ve been sick 😞 congrats on kazuha though omg, one of my irls got him ystd as well and they love so far.

i understand the level 90 domain thing though, the dragonspine domain is easy on level 90 but it’s such a pain in the ass at 80 😭 pls i remember when i could barely do remembrance on level 90 though and now i can clear it in under a minute :( xiao got all grown up :(

pls i lowkey wanna download honkai but my phone is already struggling as it is 😞 i take one (1) screenshot and suddenly i have no storage left

#lore.txt #msg: hacker #genshin.txt

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bellygunnr · 4 years

Text

you’d finally like to learn ch.2

the hot New Mexico sun beats down on you. sweat stains your shirt so that none of it is dry, and the lukewarm water you brought feels ice cold going down your throat. it's your third week of working out-- but it's your first week performing the routine solo. not your choice, but it is what it is.

it's a lot harder by yourself. but you manage. running sets you to thinking, unfortunately. your burning muscles and pumping blood become background noise to thoughts of your work. samples of strange crystals have found their way under your microscope, the properties of which excite you. but the samples are volatile. the slightest mistake in handling them renders them contaminated or broken--

your stopwatch beeps incessantly in your ear. your shoes stomp clumsily against the sun-baked track as you slow down, eventually stopping. the strange chemical happiness that comes from exercise is negated by memories of yesterday's lab work.

an icy bottle is placed into your hands, which you drink from gratefully. the plastic scrunches beneath your grip, causing water to spill over your face and down your front. the shock clues you in to your surroundings.

Barney's there, in full security kit, his eyes crinkled with another wide smile. He's leaning on the wood fencing that encloses the track, looking at you, a colorful box tucked beneath one arm.

"Doc, you're gonna kill me. You're supposed to eat during your lunch break!"

you're not sure if the heat in your face is from exertion or embarrassment. you frown at Barney, hoping it's not a pout.

"I was late this morning," you admit, "so I improvised."

you also weren't hungry, so you weren't about to waste time when you had a goal to complete.

Barney shakes his head, still smiling. "Eat these, at least. Your form has really improved since last month. Pretty soon you'll be running properly."

two granola bars are your reward. with a sigh, you ignore his jab and tear open the packaging, biting into the snacks with little enthusiasm. they're sticky and dry and overly sweet.

but it's food, apparently necessary to your survival.

"Are you on a break, Calhoun?" you ask, and delight in watching him respond in Sign.

his nose scrunches as he maneuvers his arms and hands. the smile never leaves, but it shrinks and grows with his confidence. his speech follows the stumbling of his sign.

"Dr. Kleiner asked me to come fetch you, since you're fifteen over your lunch, Doc. So technically I'm still on duty."

you make a sharp motion with your hands that sends Calhoun laughing wildly, because some things are just universal.

"Gordon, you smell like death! Go take a shower before you become an anomalous material yourself."

Dr. Kleiner ushers you out of the lab as quickly as you stepped inside. You frown in deep-set consternation, but comply in the end.

the next time you resurface from your work, your phone is lit up with several unread notifications. worried, you flick through them quickly, but... it's just Barney.

BC: Heard somewhere that the difference between science and screwing around is writing it down, so... BC: has attached a video. BC: With your guidance, and my intellect, my squad ran an experiment. BC: has attached a photo. BC: has attached a photo. GF: You're attached to those helmets in that video. That's not safe. GF: You haven't said anything after those photos. Are you concussed? GF: At least one of you is concussed. I hate this. BC: Nothing to say about my lab work? I'm touched you're so deeply concerned about my well-being, Doc. GF: Calhoun.

you try to comprehend why Barney would indulge in such activities. then you remember that his squad is celebrating something, though you can't recall exactly what. alcohol and testosterone can do a lot in skewing clear judgment, it seems.

at least you hope alcohol was involved. the thought of doing that sober upsets you.

(you tamp down memories of grad school in an effort to remain dignified)

you wait for him at the tram you both share. he catches you mid-stretches.

"You gotta put your feet closer together, Dr. Freeman. Otherwise, lookin' good! Say, check it out-- the helmet that got through the door."

You catch the helmet with a startled gasp, squeaking when it splits apart in your grip. Chunks of carbon fiber and foam scatter around your feet.

"Calhoun," you scold, expression threatening. "Were you wearing this?"

"It wasn't me! Hey, you should look at this, I made graphs and everything-- don't look at me like that!"

you jam the chunks of helmet into the nearest trashcan. in another motion, you grab Calhoun's wrist and drag him onto the tram before it rattles off into Black Mesa's labyrinth. getting home to shower and exercise is higher on your priority list than humoring the security officer.

the graphs were sloppily plotted. the theory and hypothesis were legible, but lines of text were highlighted in seemingly random fashion throughout the sparse paperwork. you point at it, vaguely bewildered.

"I did say I used your guidance, Doc," Barney says, as if that explains everything.

"You did... a good job, Barney," you say grudgingly, because you're not sure how to process that otherwise. "But data is useless if it's not accurate. Next time, make sure your math is consistent."

and in the low light of your dorm's kitchen, Barney scrunches his nose, then wiggles in success, even going as far as to punch your shoulder. it's not hard, you can tell, but you make a noise of exaggerated pain anyway.

"Now, do you have any idea how you're going to get home, Officer Calhoun?"

early next morning, you wake to the smell of something cooking, and your stomach lurches with hunger. a headache quickly rushes to accompany the hollow, gnawing feeling in your stomach, and you can't even be angry that it's six instead of seven. you pry yourself out of your bed and stagger blindly into the open.

a blurry figure which you assume is barney is already in your kitchen, nursing the stove which is probably occupied with food. you navigate around him.

there's already a hot pot of coffee.

"Jesus, Doc! Warn a guy before--"

"I live here," you cut him off by slurring your words, motions accompanied by a low growl.

"Well, shit. I guess you do, which is why I made breakfast for two."

breakfast for two consists of eggs, toast, and some protein you didn't even know you had. turkey bacon, or something to that effect. it's delicious regardless of its origins.

#half life #barney calhoun #gordon freeman #freehoun

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multi-fandom-trash · 4 years

Note

hey, idk if ur still taking requests so i apologize if i’m sending this and ur not not but how would the ikevamp boys (comte, leo, jean, napoleon, theo, dazai, issac sebas) if that’s too many then u can forget about the last 3 i don’t wanna overwhelm you react to an mc who makes tik toks? like funny/ironic ones maybe occasional dance ones idk how they would find out maybe like they just stumble across her phone and she has a really good data plan lol feel free to mess around with this one tysm!

Hey so i just wanna thank you for what you had said to me. That alone gave me some will power to finish this hc. But disclaimer, i may or may not have ignored Leo, Jean, and Napoleon, but its not that i hate or dislike them, its more of me not knowing what to do for them. But hey i still hope you like it and thank you again for what you had said in my last post.

Comte:

You and Comte had a nice relationship. He’ll spoil you like hell, sure you might have felt bad bc you can never give him anything in return but he would say ur happiness is enough for him. You guys also promised to be honest with each other, so you both can stay happy.

But like some relationships like that, one of them always hides a secret. Some harsher than others, some more silly and makes you wonder why did they keep that a secret. You had one of these secrets. Not a harsh one, more kinda silly, but you don't know how to tell him, or what his reaction would be, so you kept your phone hidden.

Also you made some cringy tik toks (srry but who doesn't) and didn't want him to know.

Sometimes when you aren't busy with work around the house, instead of seeing him like you used to always do, you’ll go to your room to make some tik toks. But you would go see him occasionally.

He eventually caught on and was worried about you. So one day when you had finished cleaning and was on your break, you went to your room to upload a tik tok that you’ve been planning on doing while you were cleaning.

You were 1 quarter through dancing say so by a doja cat, when he softly knocked. You couldn't hear the knock through, because of the music and you were so focused on the dance. So he came in but stood there in shock staring at you.

You stopped half way through and looked at him kinda worried. He then chuckled now realizing that why you won't see him burning every break. Also that you kept a phone hidden. The only reason he knew it was a phone was because of sebas. He promised to keep it a secret as long as he spends more time with him than the phone. You agree of course.

Dazai:

One day Dazai was looking for you to tell you that sedas was looking for you. The first place he looked was ur room, but insead of finding you he found a small black rectangle thing on your nightstand. You forgot to put it inside your nightstand because you were in a rush that morning.

He walked up to it with a look of interest. And then it turned on with a small ‘buzz’ and a notification from tiktok. He was intrigued. So he picked it up and for some stupid reason, you dont have a password on your phone, so he got into the app. He was really fond of the arts and dances and creativity that went into it.

Then you walked into your room to see a smiling and impressed Dazai, holding your phone. You were frozen in fear for what he would say. The he turned to say and asked if you can do one of the challenges with him.

You were a little confused but then agreed and asked what challenge he wanted to do.

He then showed you the flip the switch challenge. So you guys did that. After you did more stuff like dances, challenges, reactions. He soon became very famous, which was no surprise to you.

The two of you had fun, but you told him to promise you that he won't tell anyone about it. And he swore he wouldn't.

Sebas:

One day, Sebastian was looking for you. First search the kitchen to see if you are there. Nothing. Then the dining room. Nope. Then your bedroom. You were in the garden at the time hanging laundry.

Because that morning you were in a rush because you had a lot to do and you wanted to do them quickly but right so you don't need to redo them, so you can go to your phone.

While Sebastian was looking in your room, he noticed a phone on your bed.(p.s, idk what time period he was from but just go with it.) You forgot to hide it because you were in a rush.

Then he saw a notification, from an app called tik tok. He was curious because he never heard of the app. Before he can see anything further, you happen to walk in your room exhausted.

You saw him looking at your phone for a bit then looked at you.

"How'd you get this?" He asked, sounding really interested. "It was in my pocket when i first came here. "Ahh, and what is 'tik tok"?" He asked, still interested. So you showed him what it was and he was mesmerized by it.

Also you guys may or may not have done a few together while on break.

Isaac:

He was on his way looking for you because he wanted to give you a gift. But little did he know you were doing a dance on tik tok. But the dance itself was a problem for the little guy. By that i mean a lot of body movement (idk any dance that would sound like that so witch ever one u want if there is any)

You were almost halfway through the dance before he opened the door, yet for some reason, you didn't see him.

He was left face a bright red because of how flustered he was. U finally noticed him almost done with the dance, a bit embarrassed.

"I-i ummm…how long were you standing there?" U studered a bit still embarrassed.

"A-about 15 s-seconds" he said, still flustered. Then he asked what was the thing you were on. You answered a phone and an app called tik tok showing him.

You guys would sometimes post videos with each other, just being an absolute cute couple.

You guys even got the title 'the cutest couple' from some of ur fans. U even had more fans but u thought it was bc of isaac. But you both loved it, even if Isaac gets embarrassed from some of the videos you guys make, but he'll get you back for posting them, that was a promise.

Theo:

He has been stressed because of work. He was on the clock, 24/7. Of course he would see his hondje at dinner, but after dinner he would go back to work.

This was kinda ok for you, yes you did miss him, but you also had time to yourself to which you used that time with your phone. So most breaks you had, you would go to your room and be there for the whole time you had.

Arthur took notice of this, like always, so he made a plan. Because you would just stay in your room most of the time he thought you were sad and wanted more theo. He also thought his dear friend needed a break from work. So when he got the time to talk to Theo, he used it to his advantage.

He told theo something he knew that would make him wanna, *ahem* punish you. (Plz dont ask what i took forever planning that out and i still have nothing)

So as true to form, he cleared his night, so he could do what he planned.

Because it was night, you had a lot more time to do a dance. So you were half way through a dance before theo barged in the room angry.

"Hondje!" He said with a scowl. The suddenness of it made you somehow trip and end up falling on the floor with a small 'ow'.

Theo did a small scoff, looking at you, then he noticed a phone on your desk. His attention was now fully on the device. So he asked about it.

You told him what it was and the app you were on. He was confused and found your time kinda weird but before you can make a snarky remark, he remembered why he had come there in the first place.

"Oh, hondje, you deserve a punishment." He said with a smirk, you were confused as to why you needed one.

"Punishment? Punishment for wh-" before you can finish that question, your lips were caught in a rough kiss.

Y'all had an amazing night but the next morning you asked theo why you needed a punishment. He came clean and told you what Arthur told him. You told him you never did that.

Later Theo saw Arthur with a huge grin on his face when he saw theo. Knowing his plan was a success.

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sirene312 · 5 years

Text

oh GOD guys…. You have no idea the crusade i had to went through just to be sitting here, with my dear computer working again, and enjoying the joy of 1.9 Mbps internet connection speed. First thing on the front page of my dash was three shitposts on a row, new niche memes, and good ‘ol fandom drama. god how I missed this hell site.

In case anyone wants to know what happened, I will put behind a ‘read more’ the story of a missing computer part that quickly become a detective mission, that dragged me unwillingly into the wild ride I didn’t signed for when pressing ‘buy’ on an online store.

TL;DR at the end bc this is very long. English is not my first language so please bear with me!

Okay, some of you may know a bit about me since apparently i don’t have a “dude shut up! Stop oversharing your woes!!!” button on me but hey here are some things to know about me in case you are curious: I live in Venezuela and not having internet is my personality trait, living in my country is very hard, hard like trying to play the Rainbow Road of Mario Kart but you have butter on your hands, your eyes are closed and you are running on the rain while there is a 8.0 earthquake happening. That hard. I work as a freelance graphic designer and make art commissions so me and my family can survive the economic crisis on my country, having internet and a working computer is a really big deal, like literally we eat thanks to it. Now you see how that would led me to spend a whole month chasing and stressing over a stupid part my computer needed.

Back in December, remember last season of “what’s troubling Sirene now?” where i spend almost a month without internet and then yay internet is back! for like two days? well, after Christmas there was a sudden power cut one night and i was on my computer working on a commission but since this is now a common occurrence i didn't think anything of it …until next day when i tried to switch my computer ON it didn't. I tried everything to revive it, grabbing anxiously my hair, walking on circles, and pressing continuously the power button, you know everything, but it was in vain. It’s dead, Jim. As you can imagine i had a breakdown when i realized i won’t be able to work anymore and needed to buy a new power supply since this one was toast…and was without internet friggin again. AGAIN. I survived till now using my crappy phone data but heavy apps hardly load, tumblr/ao3/twitter sometimes loaded if i refreshed them like a madman.

My computer is a tiny model and has a power supply that apparently is made by beavers in Narnia, because is so uncommon that the only stores that sell them are on my Capital city two states away from where i live. Knowing this, there is not other alternative for me but to use a online store and shipping the package here, in theory sounds simple right? a reminder that this is a third world country, where everything is falling apart and barely holding it together with chewing gum and prayers, what are the odds of something going wrong hmm….

Okay, this happened in the week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve, so of course all stores in my country decided to go on vacation and return on January. I impatiently waited for two online stores to be back on business that have the power supply i need, they were physical stores too so i thought i would be safe. i liked one more than the other and, as i told my friends, i felt like a telenovela protagonist that was on a love triangle with two galanes but the hotter one was in coma and the other just had 3 episodes in, meaning that the better rated store was still offline and the other was online but only had like 3 products sold …not very reassuring but i desperately needed to start working again so i went with that one. Big mistake.

Everything started on Tuesday, January 14.

Mercado Libre is a page where people sell things like Amazon, this is where the seller of the power supply was, after you click on buy, you can see the seller info and a chat to talk to them, i wrote but there was not immediate response so i called, i spoke to a woman and she told me to text her on WhatsApp, that should have been my first red flag, if the app had a perfect chat option there why text outside of it??

whatever, i went and text her, asked when would she send the package and she told me “tomorrow” the shipping company she was going to use is called “Zoom” (remember that name bc it will be mentioned a lot) when you send something they give the sender (the store) a tracking number the sender should give YOU in order for the shipping office (Zoom) in your city to give you the package. (this number is important)

this was my first time buying anything online so i didn’t know any of that just vaguely knew how it worked, so i asked her if she the next day would give me the tracking number or the shipping company would call me when my package was on the shipping center? and she told me “both, i will give you the number and they are going to call you” I said perfect, thank you very much and thought ‘hey that went well!’

Unknown to me, for the next 10 days i was going suffer a weird and painful skin reaction on both hands, and man…it was bad (tw graphic description of a skin condition ahead) the skin on the palm of my hands completely fell off, and it burned like i had scraped my hands on the sidewalk and someone was pouring lemon juice on them. Ouch. as you can imagine all my attention was on what was going on with my hands. I still don’t know what could have caused that severe reaction.

With difficulty texted the woman on Monday 20 i asked again for the tracking number but she said “i’m waiting for the bike delivery guy to give me the number but your package was sent” so she -the store seller- dont go personally to Zoom to send the packages and some else does, i tell the woman again to give me the number as soon as she has it, bc Zoom has an app you can check your package rute and status with that number, she said “okey amiga”.

That week, i could barely lift a fork i was suffering from whatever it was that happened to my hands until my mom found an Aloe Vera plant and i started to rub that gooey, viscose gel thingy on my hands and was slowly getting better, (seriously guys, Aloe Vera plants are a godsend keep one or 10 at home) by the time i suddenly remembered about the package it was Friday 24 the woman didn’t text me anything like she said would do and i didn’t receive any calls either all week, so friday i text her asking again for the tracking number and oh yes finally she has it! My happiness was short lived because……THE PACKAGE WAS RETURNED.

Something occurred and there was an error on the address or something (I triple checked all my personal info was in order before i gave it to her -thanks anxiety!- so i know it was not on me) i was so furious if only the woman had given me the friggin number sooner that week, i would have realized there was something wrong and would have gone to the Zoom on my city where the package was being held before it was returned to the capital. She told me she would send again my package that Friday BUT Zoom only works mon-fri not weekends. Now I need to wait till monday to receive my thing. great.

Monday 27 rolls in and that week i proceeded to text the woman EVERY SINGLE DAY asking if she had sent my package, i hated being a nuisance texting so much but it was necessary, money is getting short and we need food.

On Wed 29 I even texted her a desperate plea, i told her please i need my power supply to start working again! and you know how she responded? BY LEAVING ME ON SEEN. i called her until she answered and she told me “oh i sent it today” she assured me, in the most unsure voice she could muster, that she totally did it.

So I went the next day to the Zoom office and surprise! it was a lie, she didn’t send anything, nada! again asked her for the new track.num. and she told me “amiga the thing is that …the package has not arrived here. is still in your State.“ [*record scratch*] hmm whAT?

I immediately called Zoom and asked them to tell me where my package is? Where is it!?, it’s still in my city or in the Capital?? So they gave me a number for the returned package to check on the app and…said it arrived at the Capital Fri. 24. Not only that but it was marked as "given to the client” aka the sender.

Now I realize this woman has been lying to me. For a whole week. I text her screenshots of where the package was and she tells me that supposedly the package is not on Zoom there and insists it is here in my State. A friend knows someone that works on Zoom that checks their database and confirms that no, is not here anywhere and that definitely arrived in the Capital. even shows that a man named A. Rodriguez was the one that picked up the package. Who is this man?? what's going on?

here's a meme i sent my friends in the group chat while i was trying not to freak out about all this.

This has become a "she-said, he-said" situation because the woman keeps insisting Zoom is the one at fault about the whereabouts of my missing package but Zoom says Hold it! And slaps continuous evidence that shows the places where the package has been at all times.

Meanwhile I’m like “where the hell is my power supply??? All I want is to work. Why is this happening to me?” ;_;

So far what we know:

Package arrived in my city but was returned to the city of origin (the Capital) on Friday 24.

The following week the store seller lied to me and would everyday promise to send the package again to me. and never did.

On Thursday 30 the woman tells me that the package never arrived from my city and she’s waiting for it to “arrive” but the shipping office tells me the package was returned a week ago on Fri. 24 so it’s impossible that it has not arrived. not for nothing they are called ZOOM they deliver fast.

the app even says “given to the client”, and one thing I know for a fact, is that it is near impossible to pick up a package from there without the friggin tracking number, they won’t even give you info about it without it. so it’s very unlikely that a random person just walked away with it.

so we have two possibilities:

1. Someone from Zoom stole it. Ok, feasible. Corrupt people working on this kind of service in my country steal things of value all the time. still i doubt this was the case, the company seemed really concerned and would try their best to help me find my package giving me all the info i requested, even the name of the person who took it.

2. the store seller lied again and the man who took the package is the same bike delivery guy that transported it there in the first place. That's how they were able to take it from there so easily. She denied knowing anyone named A. Rodriguez but she has lied before so i don’t trust her word. To me, this is the more likely scenario for what happened to the package.

February comes and still I have no idea where is my package and the woman keeps making excuses as to why she “hasn’t found it” she again leaves me on seen after I asked for information, next day I called her non stop because now I’m pissed and i want answers, she finally text me that she will send another power supply since she “couldn’t find the first one” no further explanation whatsoever, and tells me will send it on Friday, but remember that Zoom don’t work on weekends so the new package will be staying on the Zoom office until Monday, my friend tells me that is not good what if the thief works there and steals it again? so I asked the woman to send it on Monday and she tells me that only Tuesdays they send all their stuff to be delivered….now she tells me the store have a specific delivery day? Now?

I’m not happy about waiting for more days but there is nothing i can do about it so February 11 is here and I send the woman a text telling her to take a photo of the receipt with the tracking number so the story of the first package won’t repeat, and guess what? The woman left me on seen!! you don’t know how that blue seen mark got me shook. that stressed me so bad that finally I had enough, my friends encouraged me to cancel the order and ask for a refund, I stopped texting her on WhatsApp and left a ultimatum on the Mercado Libre chat, that way I had proof on that page of the fraud this woman was pulling on me and could get her banned there. I should have done that before but the need to repair my computer blinded me and was what kept me trying so hard to get my power supply. Desperation can drive you to make foolish decisions.

After my ultimatum, the woman changed her tune and was very solicitous, and replied super fast, even said on the chat “let it be noted we are a serious company and always answered all your messages” yes, she said THAT, can you believe the audacity, the nerve? I immediately reply “since you didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday, can’t fault me for expressing here my concern about my purchase.” Then I said very politely but with finality that if she did not send me the photo of the receipt with the tracking number the next day I would not hesitate bitch to ask for a refund. And what do you know? Worked like a charm. The next day the first thing in the morning on my phone was a photo of the receipt.

SO yes this unnecessary long story has an anticlimactic but happy end after all! Next morning I happily went to the Zoom office and after a whole month of countless lies, unanswered texts, blood, sweat, and tears, I picked up mypower supply. Reunited at long last! This happened on February 14. Valentine’s Day. Love -and being persistent af- always wins!

TL;DR I bought online a new power supply, the seller tried to scam me or something bc lied about how my purchase was “lost” saying the shipping company was the culprit. Sending me on a wild goose chase trying to find my package. i had to threaten her with a refund to get her to send me finally my power supply.

#this is why i disappeared for a while #can't believe this drama lasted for a whole month #but im glad its finally over

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spooky-skz · 5 years

Text

hyunchan ➳ fallenangel!au

Warnings: none

Genre: angst

Pairing: hyunchan x gender neutral reader

A/N: hello!! this will contain multiple parts & WILL have romance so be prepared, hehe. this was inspired by the supernatural tv series. I ALWAYS APPRECIATE FEEDBACK!!!

it’s been a decade since I’ve posted an au hAH

so please enjoy!

In heaven, the main purpose of this particular rank of angels is to guide and protect humans through their everyday lives and they consistently report to their superiors who’re in charge of maintaining the influx of souls.

This makes each human have two angels!

aaaand you’ve been blessed with having hyunjin and chan as your designated feather boi’s ଘ( ♡ᗜ♡)

chan and hyunjin are in the protection division and were quite frankly the best in their league! all of their humans have been well guarded till their time ended. They almost never leave their person unattended because hey! If something happened to you, it’d be on them & neither could live out his eternal lifespan knowing that he foolishly let you get hurt. The only time they HAD to go is if their superior demands a word… even till then, these boys would stall as much time possible. The longer they’re away from you, the more prone you are to an untimely death & that would make them a horrible angel.

It all started when the superior was once again, hollering in their ear for a brief summary of the progress and ordered to be met with in the park downtown.

It was chan’s turn to meet up & he asked hyunjin to be extra careful with you in his absense, only to be waved away by the younger angel, saying something along the lines of you scrolling on your phone won’t bring any danger other than radiation probably.

Chan rolled his eyes and left as fast as possible so he could return soon because indeed, one angel was strong as heck but hyunjin couldn’t defend you completely from other beings trying to interfere with your fate. (⚆_⚆)

*cough cough: demons, fairies, etc.*

Chan swooshed from behind a massive oak tree, catching sight of his superior immediately, seated on a bench with his finger impatiently tapping his knee. A small, 5’0 blonde man with icy blue eyes wearing a daunting scowl that never seemed to leave his porcelain complexioned face.

“Hello, brother.” Chan greeted the elder angel with respect.

“Details. Now,” ordered Dongmin, the feather boi’s superior older brother. ( •̀ω•́ )σ

Chan chuckled and said, “Always so eager for stats, huh?”

His brother clenched his fist and barked, “I have others to check up on, y’know! Mind not wasting my time with your jokes?”

chan just couldn’t help but giggle further at the angry face of dongmin. It was just so hard to take him seriously with his lil angry face.

but nevertheless, chan gave his report of how your life is going, the numerous times your stupid decisions might’ve caused some serious consequences but hyunjin saved you, & all the possibilities you could’ve died but chan was always there, keeping you safe!! ( • ̀ω•́ )✧

dongmin jotted all of it down in his log book & as soon as he shut the leatherbound journal, chan whisked it out of his grasp and flipped to random pages, commenting about how nice the handwriting was.

dongmin was nearly losing his head, jumping for the book and shouting at how chan can’t read other angels’ report bc it was a violation of the heavenly act #34, section 23, on page 489. mans is rlly detailed…

（¬＿¬)

chan easily towered over him and held the journal high above min’s head while teasing.

once he saw how close to tears the older angel was, he handed the book back again.

“cheer up, donkey! don’t be so uptight all the time.” chan said as he watched dongmin dust off the book with a handkerchief as he muttered to himself.

“i told you not to call me that!” he huffed.

“go back to your human!!! we’re done here.” dongmin added while waving chan away.

chan laughed one more time, and sauntered to the oak tree, just about ready to swoosh back to your apartment when he heard min talking to another angel, his fellow superior sister, who arrived just as chan got behind the tree so either angel couldn’t see him still there.

subin was her name and she was just as uptight as dongmin was, but wasn’t as expressive about her ideas.

she sat calmly on the bench, staring in the direction of some children playing on the swing while speaking, “the numbers aren’t sufficient, dongmin.”

the smoll angel plopped beside her, that ever-so-famous scowl plastered on his face once more. “i know. not enough humans are dying.” he said.

subin’s hazel eyes drifted to meet the blue ones of dongmin. “is the plan going accordingly?”

a satisfied grin creeped its way to the male’s face as he nodded slightly. “yes. i’ve convinced alot of angels who’ve agreed to let their humans get in harm’s way so their souls may go to our home, increasing our divine power.”

HOLD THE PHONE.

WHAT (๑･`▱´･๑)

chan was extremely surprised by what was said. was dongmin being serious?!

brief background info: human souls are like ounces of fuel. they’re a power source for all sorts of beings, which is why it’s so important to collect as many as possible in order to maintain strength and authority. the angels and demons have been going at these humans for so long, accumulating more and more power for their respective groups. but, as of recent milleniums, the demons were getting more juice than the angels bc people weren’t dying fast enough but they sure were sinning! (`･ヘ´･ ) so the angels are playing dirty by letting their people die early so they don’t sin enough and in return, the angels get their fix.

subin softly smiled and replied, “good. but, how about chan and hyunjin? they’re the best protectors according to the data, and with them in the same boat as us, we’d be unstoppable.”

min felt his fists tighten, remembering the teasing of his tall sibling.

“they’re oblivious to the plan for now and i think it’ll be hard to convince them but we’ll find a way.”

the two superiors vanished with a swoosh & chan was left flabberghasted behind the oak tree.

hyunjin ofc reacted in the same manner once chan told him all about the meeting.

they knew that the whole plan was wicked & everyone couldn’t possibly be on board with it right? they had to do something about it! ( •̀ω•́ )σ

the duo waited till you were fast asleep when they used their abilities to send an urgent message to hyeonjeong, one of the eldest angels known of creation. he had bigger authority over any angel that they knew of. they knew he’d never submit to such a cruel method & could do something to stop subin & dongmin from causing further damage to the lives of billions of people.

all seemed to be working well and they shortly received a reply from an angel that gave a location to meet at.

when they swooshed, both boys showed up to an abandoned warehouse that was muddy and rundown.

they looked around for any sight of hyeonjeong- his long silver hair, white suit, or even his colossal sized wings, but nada.

“greetings, brothers.” they heard a familiar voice from behind.

it was hyunwoo. a sketchy mf

behind him emerged two more others, armed with angel-killing blades.

chan and hyunjin were now in defensive mode bc not many things could kill an angel but those blades could literally do the job in one stab.

“where’s hyeonjeong?” chan asked with gritted teeth, eyeing the closest enemy angel.

hyunwoo clapped his hands together as he answered, “he’s on a mission elsewhere… but, don’t worry! i caught your message & was ordered to deliver you upstairs. with force, if necessary.” he seemed a little eager at the last bit.

hyunjin wasted not a second longer, and punched the angel closest to him, managing to steal the blade, and jabbing it straight through the chest.

chan was able to take down the other angel, but he felt a sharp tip pressed against his shoulder blade.

looks like hyunwoo brought his own weapon.

he shouted to hyunjin, “what a pity! i sort of liked those two,” he nodded his head at the corpse of the dead angels. “but, enough games for today. let’s go before i get bored.”

in one snap, chan & hyunjin were bound and sat in a conference room. they knew they were in heaven with the numerous clouds that fluttered past the windows. dongmin, subin, hyunwoo, and a handful of other angels surrounded them.

“hi, dearest brothers.” subin greeted them peacefully with her hands folded on the table.

“w-what is this?” hyunjin questioned, eyes scanning the upset crowd of their siblings, all wielding a blade in each hand.

dongmin piped up, “oh, you don’t see it as we do? it’s a small get-together between brothers and sisters. a small, friendly chat.”

hyunwoo looked so ready to stab someone istg

chan wasn’t buying this a single bit.

two simple words left subin’s lips.

“join us.”

“whatever you’re doing, we’re not taking part in any of it!” chan stated loudly.

seemed like subin’s peaceful demeanor was vanishing little by little.

“and why not? don’t you like being powerful?” she questioned aggressively.

“being admired?” dongmin added with a small smirk.

“being the authority,” hyunwoo smugly smiled.

hyunjin furiously shook his head in decline. “Unlike you, we like doing our jobs the honest, noble way.”

“oh, c’mon! they’re just humans! in case you’ve forgotten, dad’s been popping them out for milleniums & you’re getting soft now? they won’t even know who you are once they’ve died!” hyunwoo hollered.

silence.

subin sighed and nodded to dongmin, whose eyes lit up like a christmas tree. “we tried to give them a chance. do it.”

chan felt his heart skip beats once he saw dongmin approaching them with a strange vase, sprinkling its powdery contents on him and hyunjin while the other angels chanted some sort of ritual.

they coughed and writhed in pain, the power seemed to be burning at the contact of their skin.

“what are you doing?” chan asked desperately in between coughs.

as dongmin placed the vase back to it’s spot on a shelf, he answered over the heavy chanting, “we’re stripping you of your wings!”

wide-eyed and panicked, hyunjin and chan struggled to try and get out of the angel-binding ropes that tightly pinned their arms behind their backs.

“y-you can’t do that!” hyunjin protested, feeling weaker and weaker as the chanting continued and the powder burned hotter.

hyunwoo, with the help of subin, placed a hand on the boys’ head and backsides.

“you’re hereby relieved of your duties as protectors for committing the sin of sloth for not helping us and diminished to live as those puny humans you were once defending.” they said in unison.

chan and hyunjin screamed in pain as they felt the majority of their angelic grace slowly leaving their bodies.

(grace is what grants an angel it’s powerful abilities. you can take another angel’s grace through ritual or cutting them open.)

after a sudden bright flash, both boys were flung back to earth, causing a crater-like impact on the ground that they landed on.

(now we get to you!!!)

your peaceful slumber was cut short when the sound of the impact startled you awake.

you crawled slowly to the window, afraid that a burgular was breaking into your home.

imagine the surprise on your face when you see two bodies covered in dust laying in your backyard.

your mind kept telling you to go back inside the bedroom but you were already opening the back door, mustering all the possible courage you had to tell them to go away or you’d call the cops.

they hadn’t moved in the slightest when you approached them & you feared the worst. ( >д< )

... are they ded??

you stepped closer.

chan was the first to recover from his unconscious state and he slowly sat up, clutching his throbbing head.

hyunjin woke up a few seconds after, groaning about his back.

their attention was swept in your direction after you cleared your throat, and squeaked, “YO, G-GET THE HELL OFF OF MY PROPERTY!”

aaaaand holy crap you could s E E them?!

^^^ that’s exactly what they asked you at the same time.

...are they high or something????? you asked yourself

“listen, i don’t have time for this! leave now or i’ll call the cops!”

hyunjin & chan exchanged a look of confusion.

“we’re not robbers, or anything like that.” hyunjin reasoned out.

before you could respond, chan chimed in, “you’re (y/n), right???”

*cue you giving him the side-eyes.*

you asked how he knew your name.

“because we’ve been watching over you for a long time.” he answered.

OHHHHH GREAT. NOT ROBBERS. BUT STALKERS.

you scoffed.

hyunjin waved his hands in decline. “not those either!”

“then what?”

*they tell you that they’re your guardian angels.*

pfffft, you ofc didn’t believe them. what, next thing they’re gonna tell you is that your fairy godmother will be coming over shortly too?

hyunjin motioned around the impact sight, telling you that no other being could’ve made this sort of hole in the ground except angels.

you rolled your eyes and replied, “listen bud, i don’t know when the area 51 raid happened, so if you’re some alien creature loose from my stupid neighbor’s house, just jump the fence and don’t come back here.”

but then, chan started explaining things, and as did hyunjin

things that were so personal about you and even about your relatives that not even the best stalker could find out.

… maybe… just maybe… these dudes were telling the truth.

you motioned for them to follow you inside the house and sat yourselves down in the living room area.

“...say that you WERE somehow my angels… why are you.. visible?? & not showing wings or like… a halo or sumn?” you asked.

it took some time to explain but chan & hyunjin gave you the whole story about hyunwoo, dongmin, and subin.

You: :o

while you left to get them some water (bc they’re a lil more human now, they’re getting thorsty), hyunjin worriedly told chan, “we have to find hyeonjeong or the other elders. it’s possible that they could stop what’s going on upstairs and we could even get our wings back!”

chan sighed and frowned. :(

“even if we could, we’d need grace from other angels just to get some of our powers back. whom, i assume are aware that we’re banished from going upstairs.” he reasoned out.

“i can help”

both boys looked up to the sound of your voice standing behind the couch, holding two cups of water.

“i mean… i’m no, ‘super hero,’ but i’ll do what i can to assist you guys in saving people & becoming angels again.” you continued.

*chan & hyunjin shook their heads to say no*

after you asked them why they won’t let you, they said that the whole ordeal will be dangerous & they don’t want you to get hurt.

angels weren’t all fluffy feathers & halo’s.

they’re extremely powerful beings who will stop at nothing to get their desired results, even at the expense of others.

you respond with, ‘i know how to handle myself. besides, think of this as a token of gratitude for always protecting me & making me the person i am today.’

hyunjin, set down his emptied cup and said, “we were just doing our jobs. there’s no need to thank us, (y/n)!”

you leaned against the backside of the couch, standing in between them.

“you’re gonna need all the help you can get to find other angels, y’know. three is better than two.”

IT TOOK A LOT FOR THE BOYS TO SLOWLY NOD AND FINALLY LET YOU BE MEMBER OF THEIR OPERATION TO GET THEIR WINGS BACK AND TAKE DOWN SUBIN, HYUNWOO, AND DONGMIN.

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blackwoolncrown · 6 years

Note

you’ve never said this (I think) and so I only ask you bc I like your answers lol. why do people complain about tumblr, call it a #hellsite, self deprecate their own usage, etc when we’re all still using it, and i’m assuming have an okay time on tumblr. occasionally pictures don’t load but that’s more often than not just due to my phone... where’s the cause for dramatics? i don’t use the social aspects of tumblr and maybe that makes for a different experience but i still don’t understand

loool that’s as good a reason to ask as any.

I’m not everyone and I’m sure there’s multiple reasons for that so here are my thoughts:

1. First off ppl complain TOO much about little things in the UI. Don’t get me wrong, tumblr coding is janky as shit and the UI changes they make often suck but I guess my main complaint here is that the whole ‘gradients displaying while images loading’ thing is the most benign and actually useful thing they did and people complained out the assss about it and it’s nowhere NEAR as bad as some other functional issues on this site in fact it’s absolutely a ‘feature, not a bug’ bc honestly this site is very data heavy on mobile and that speeds post loading time and who tf REALLY needs to see aall 10,000 images you’d normally emptily scroll past per second anyway jsut fkn wait

2. :deep breath:3. The first aspect to the #hellsite thing is that tumblr is like a huge fire burning right in front of you. Pretty. Warm. That’s neat. But every time someone falls into it or takes a cinder from the edge and tosses it around like that’s funny, you see it happen. Every time someone goes ‘hmm warm!’ and then tries to hug the fire you see it happen. The fire grows and grows and attracts so many people but a third of them are cavorting wildly and some fall in, some get their clothes burned and run around screaming, catching others on fire, some are trying to use the fire to cook but can’t hardly get their fish roasted before some DD/lg couple fighting over doodoo come kicking up ash in your vicinity...it’s the chaos. Everything is going on here at once, which no one really signed up for. No matter how you intended to use the fire, you are helplessly in proximity to not just other people, but other people attracted to the fire. You might have come to play the drums or dance or roast potatoes, but someone 2 feet away is sticking their dick in the fire and you can’t help but have to know that now.4. Another aspect to this attitude is the fact that a human being can be aware of their involuntary/subconscious activity without necessarily being able to stop it. So while people KNOW that tumblr, and all social media by description, is bad for your brain and specifically engineered to suck in as much of your attention as possible after luring you in with discourse or cat pictures or niche porn or why ever you came, that doesn’t mean you can just stop liking it. It’s 2018. We are all social-media addicted to some degree and we know it. Some of us (like me) may make express efforts to curtail our usage, but at the end of the day we’re still here taking a drag and annoyed that we gave in to the drug. We are aware of our cognitive weakness for the blue.

5. You watch intelligent conversation fall on deaf ears. Every day. Every. Fucking. Day. The smartest person in the world could probably write up an explicit list of How To Fix Everything on here. It would have more likes than reblogs, most responses would be porn bots, and thousands of people would drag OP for being problematic.

6. Most people just don’t know how to have a good time and stop hating themselves. The self-depreciating thing is this. They can’t just enjoy themselves without guilt and/or they know there are better uses for their time but just can’t bring themselves actually DO anything so they feel better if they ‘pay’ for their laziness or pleasure by self-flagellation. They should stop. Thinking like that rots your brain.

Well that’s all I got, thanks for asking! And I guess this is a good place as any to plug my Ko-Fi (huzzah!) bc there’s still actually good content on tumblr still and the fire is, at the very least, still warm.

#Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

shytiff · 3 years

Text

May Small Wins

1 - lazed, went to racheel’s place and put my motorbike there, went to slipi jaya with silvi devi reza to watch seobok (it was fun!!), had iftar at the yumz green sedayu. It was raining when we get back. prayed maghrib and isya in some random mosque. went back and arrived at like 8 past sumn. showered, slept like a babyy

2 - lazed, slept and woke up at like 11, went to nila’s house, practiced doing eyeliner by borrowing nila's (focallure brand), iftar at green sedayu foodcourt (originally intended to go to the yumz but it enforces actual distancing) with angkot ppl minus tik will. Arrived home at about 9-ish.

3 - magang as usual. Went to rm. Took mrt to lebak bulus. My inaco salary finally came. My head kinda hurts after tarawih. Ended up skimming over bj alex lmaooo. Did not shower today lol,,,,

4 - added dr dafsah's revision to the excel database otw to rsf. Pak nardi took a while to arrive. Left rsf early to go to the bank. I (((finally))) activated m-banking lmaooo wow the features are neat wow im not jahiliah anymore. Found this method of just let it sweat anyway during tarawih lmaoo. Preferably with long sleeves bcs somehow you feel less of the sweaty feel compared to tshirt.

5 - sampling - data entry - RM as usual. Theres no new RM. Read a goood dramione fic by bex chan even if its not complete, its okay. Im okay :"))). Iftar was soup, salad, chicken katsu and french fries. Its been 2 days that i practiced sleeping-to-rain-sound. The first night was spent as a dreamless quick sleep (its over before you knew it), but tonight i dreamed abt almira's wedding lmaoo.

6 - no sampling today!! Still went to rsf tooo go to the mall w regen lmao. Did some data entry. Went to PP by mrt. Went back by going to halte gbk and thankfully the kalideres one arrived after only waiting for 5 mins. Its surprisingly quick, compared to lebak bulus - pesakih trip. Took abt 20 mins to jelambar.

7 - no sampling today too. Dr vera gave us lebaran cookies! Did gcp for bu suryati a5. Went to rm, finally finished the available rm. Went home early. Can finally relax since its the weekend.

8 - literally laid in bed til my body hurts. Rly want to read sumn but dunno what. Finally decided to read momoiro heaven. And rere hello. And after iftar i read lack of love. And just like tht, my saturday was gone. Cant bring myself to do things

9 - its another day of lazying (or self sabotaging, cant tell). Read spy family and its effin hilarious. Wasted my sunday. Cant bring myself to even move and i just laid in bed all day.

10 - last day of work in the weeekend lmao. Felt better than being in AR, but still not that much productivity. Went to RM. Phone call w fianti along the way to plan food in almira's bridal shower. Went back at 12-ish. Picked up my dress from risma busana. Walked to and fro halte kebon jeruk. Prayed zuhur close to ashar in kfc's mushola. Felt better after ~8k steps. Had homelab's green tea mixed with vsoy. It honestly made me feel better. Matcha, or caffeine, sure is amazing. At least i had a sense of normalcy before losing all the will to self-care

11 - consumed internet entertainment u til i was sick and tired of it. Watched a lot of cut videos. Granny came and stayed over. So i slept upstairs

12 - same as 11 but upstairs. More relatives came near iftar time so i excused myself to shower. Slept in mom n dads room at like 12-ish. Watched hp goblet of fire since keisha and karins newest obsession was draco. We squealed together over liking enemies to lovers trope haha,,,,

13 - Somehow all of dad's jakarta relatives came for lebaran. the last time i checked, there were some bridges being burned. prayed eid at home. watched perempuan tanah jahanam (which was surprisingly not scary). ate. napped. talked about personal things w keisha and karin. i cant believe the time has finally come where we talk about this kinda stuff. watched you’re next (it barely has any plot, just gore). they went back at about 8 pm and i just sleptttt yall lmao i didnt shower today. disgusting, i know

14 - cam barely get out of bed. Managed to shower at zuhur time. Watched dalbang and laughed like crazy bcs its just that funny. Read fanfics. Tiktok. Ate once and had greenfield yogurt at the evening. Fell asleep. Woke up at 1 and snacked on 1 pack of oat krunch

15 - run bts. Originally planned to go to flavola but it was still closed, so i went to dm's dunkin. Ordered orange juice and oeanut choco donut but somehow the price wasnt package price hhh. Turns out my clires account was somehow banned. So i contacted the admin. Instead of doing dr dafsah's excel i ended up taking off the makara sticker from my laptop. Bought some stuff for almira's bridal shower. Bought arirang at hari2 (its funny bcs yesterday i was seeing online marketplace, planning to buy it, but turns out hari2 the magical place had buy 2 get +1 deal for arirang.

16 - run bts. Managed to move my body a bit. Did 20 squats (ill elaborate on this later). That improved my mood. Tidied up some of my stuff. Saw the paper bag of random memorabilias by friends.

17 - went to rsf by tj. left kalideres 06:45 and arrived at RSF 8:15. sampling. went to RM (still no new ones). picked up by mom. went to salemba for almira’s bridal shower. originally planned to get padang at citra minang behind BK but it was closed. so we drove around looking for open ones. ended up buying it in a small (but crowded) padang place near a big padang restaurant lmao. was the first one to arrive at acacia. checked in, pulled the bed near the wall. showered. its hilarious sometimes with a bit more serious discussion anjayy. went home w febby who drove and clara

18 - went to mcd to get lunch (since everyone’s fasting) and tried to muster the will to do something. i didnt manage to do anything except shopping online (brought dusty pink hijab at hijup). got spicy chicken and iced coffee. (spoiler alert: tomorrow i got mencret2 lmaooo). read my suha and beyond the skidipapap its actually rly good

19 - went to RSF (with mom as usual. quickly snapped RM pictures while mom was waiting. went with her to mami’s house bcs she and uwak will fly to banjar. finally got to meet haekal, he’s such a smiley babyy its basically free therapy. planned outing with nisa lmao. from soekarno hatta we went to vintage vibes lmao since we’re already out. vintage vibes is more crowded now. and there’s less good findings now. went back emptyhanded. ate chicken arirang since there’s no food. fell asleep at like 06:30 until early morning lmaooo

20 - woke up at 2-ish am, played my phone, fell asleep at like 9?, woke up again at 11 lmaooo. went to sbux. had matcha latte. did some inaco work. todays the most productive ive been this week.

21 - went to gi with febby to also meet up with fi, bought falsies and glue (later proved to be of a horrible quality), siraman and pengajian almira (first time seeing an actual siraman), went to blok m w nes ren ara gen. Tried naruto takoyaki at little tokyo, went to daitokyo (i didnt eat anything), and got matcha cake, sakura and mango raspberry gelato at kebun ide. Picked up by mom. Renata gifted me bts 2021 winter package photocard 🥺🥺

22 - iluni internship webinar by dr naldo. Grabbed fried chicken master. Stupid time management etcetc made my start makeup at 12 (febby went out at 13:30). My falsies and hijabdo was done by herrr thank god for the help. Went to swissbel. Didnt take a pic w almira bcs time. Almiras wedding at damai indah golf pik. My skin was TERRIBLE at the wedding. The make up didnt stick prolly bcs of vitacid. Thank god for masks,,, went back home w febbyy. Made tiktok lmao

23 - lazed. Went to flavola. Its finally daytime caffeine again w kopsuscok. Did dr triya's translation work and finished it at home. She transferred the fee at like 11pm

24 - off to RSF with mom. no new medical records. wrote fuad’s name on the medrec borrowing form. continued to nisa’s place w mom. lazed, played w haekal, put some patient’s phone number on the inaco excel. Off to GBK with nisa and sarah. parked at abc field (shouldve parked near GBK’s H gate). saw moja museum 2.0, took lots of pics. mo paint (moral lesson: draw the background first!! not the foreground). finished at 16:30. ashar at masjid al-bina. nisa dropped me off at gbk tj station. prayed maghrib on the bus since the traffic was so ughh. met atikah in lippo puri. decided to eat seirockya so we walked to puri. talked about a certain someone along the way. we rly talked about it while walking until we arrived at seirockya. atikah treated me uyeyy since she and racheel will stay in depok for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. got the shoyu ramen and gyoza. took the taxi to atikah’s place. mom’s waiting there lmaoo i was like “noo dont wait at jco, just wait at atikah’s”. still felt energized that night in my bed. no sleepy2. like 100% awake.

25 - woke up at like 9:30. i basically did nothing today. didnt even shower lmao (i showered last night). read the good teacher in one go. zoom meeting w dr eva. i rly need some structure in life, goshhh

26 - showered and went to mcd. got nasi uduk, breakfast wrap and milo for 26k (thanks mcd app promo and mcd duta garden’s menu machine, i dont have to interact with another human). planning to do dr dafsah’s excel after all the data is complete, and still no new inaco data, so i ended up.... online shopping at bobobobo....... (bought outer and white culotte). tidied up the writings on my stickies (plenty of words has accumulated). ordered onejai for emir juan (expensive!!! 79k no promo lolll but free delivery. i was baited by gojek’s 1k 2 week subscription and felt like hmmm i should get something since we live in the middle of nowhere and free deliveries felt significant at that particular time when im holding my phone lmao). fell asleep after drinking vsoy + matcha lol its soft caffeine no longer works i guess

27 - woke up late as usual, went to sbux at 1 pm. tried white peach matcha frapp. the peach overpowers and u can barely taste the matcha. tried to read something useful (in medicine) but skimmed 2 ppt and then i saw solid’s bitly for isip. finished reading banana fish. couldnt bawl my eyes out because im outside.

28 - checked out rsf. Still no new ones. Immediately went back. Lazed and wasted my time

29 - iluni webinar. Here comes the impending life crisis. Ate nasi uduk and mie goreng telor today. Tried vsoy golden grain with matcha. It has almond aftertaste. Line call with kris for almost 4 hrs until 11 past sumn pm.

30 - more iluni webinar. Dr Eric, SpPD, PhD was rly cool. Tried daily box (butter soy chicken). Quite tasty. Mkg w regen. Videocalled in the mall w silvi racil bcs its ale and nadaa's wedding today. Bought gooma 500ml matcha w gofood pickup discount. Ate sushi go (the shoyu has mirin btw). 50k+ you get 6 piece of sushi (2 salmon) and matcha cake and ocha. Quite a nice deal. Talked abt cryptocurrency lmao. Went back and forth w TJ. All hail tj

31 - planned to do at least some productive stuff at home. turns out nila is outside and had some time to spare. so we went out. i met her in citra 6. we went to pik’s white beach. its scorching hot since its 2 pm. spent like 15 mins there. we had wanted to stop by monsieur spoon but THERES A QUEUEEE even if its a hot afternoon. so we ate tom sushi at green sedayu. talked a bit afterwards in nila’s place and then i was picked up by emir. tried gooma’s matcha. its not sweet like sbux. approved by mom (who doesnt like sweets). but its more expensive than sbux’s 2L 100k promo lol. (45k after gopay pickup promo for 500 ml). reread bj alex lmaooooo found new tidbits

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littledonkeyburrito · 7 years

Text

Some lint

1. Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? Haven’t broken their nose but I’ve certainly hit a few in the face bc karate

2. What is the longest time you have gone without sleep? Forty-something hours without even a nap

3. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Several places

4. You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? If it’s in my house, yes.

5. Have you ever baked a pie? I don’t think so.

6. What is your favorite social networking site? Instagram probably

7. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? Dad’s dad was in WW2. Dad fought in Belfast in the 70s I think

8. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Yeah, I would like $100,000 to magically appear under my mattress.

9. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? Playfully. I stop playing with strays when they get boisterous bc rabies

10. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? Middle-back generally

11. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? Yes, in a few places. I freaking love sleeper trains, I think they’re so fun with a group. On one of the sleeper trains I went on in China we accidentally taught the guy with the food/drink trolley the english word for beer because we bought more every time he went past.

12. Is there currently any caffeine in your system? No

13. Look around, are things organized? Yes, I keep my apartment very tidy.

14. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23

15. Know what you’re planning to do after this? Attempt to kill time for a couple of hours until I can go to bed

16. How often do you update your Facebook status? I don’t really do statuses, just post photos from my instagram.

17. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? All my jeans are of varying levels of skininess. From slim-fit to practically painted on.

18. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Yes. I would have a rum and coke right now but 1) I don’t have any coke, and 2) if I drank any it would take me a long time to get to sleep.

19. How do you usually get around? Walking or metro

20. Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? It would be nice to be fluent in spanish but if it happened magically overnight it wouldn’t be fun because I like the challenge. It would be cool to magically become fluent in arabic and/or mandarin.

21. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No

22. Can you speak any French? No.

23. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Dozens. I travel a lot.

24. What is in your pocket? Some lint.

25. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? There are certainly some details of my life that I have omitted. Such as some experiences with sex, drugs and alcohol.

26. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? People from that office I briefly worked at. Or probably more recently just random people on the street.

27. Have you ever lived with a friend? Yeah, a few.

28. What are a few of your favorite tv shows? iZombie, Brooklyn 99, Jane The Virgin, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Club De Cuervos, Parks and Rec 29. What kind of socks do you like to wear? Brightly coloured ones with wild patterns 30. Do you have your own house key, and how often do you actually use it? Whenever I need to get into my apartment. (This question must have been written by a teenager)

31. How often do you eat chocolate? Not actually that often. I don’t have as much of a sweet tooth as I did when I was younger. 32. How often do you wash dishes at your house? Every 1-3 days depending on how lazy I am.

33. How much sleep did you get last night? ~7 hours 34. When was the last time you went to a cemetery and why were you there? Last year on halloween myself and a few other drunk people from the party I was at decided to go wander around the nearby cemetery. 35. What were you doing when you heard about the attack on the twin towers? I don’t remember specifically hearing about it. I was only 7 so I wouldn’t really have cared anyway. Mostly what I remember is that they took cartoons off tv to play non-stop news for at least a week. 36. Doesn’t John Mayer suck? I have no opinions on him. 37. When was the last time you saw the sun rise? When I was in Colombia. One night in Cartagena I stayed up with a swedish and a colombian guy chatting in spanish while we watched the sun rise over the river. Then the cops came over and told us to leave.

38. What was the last picture you took? It was of my DS because I started playing pokemon in spanish and I was sending the picture to a couple of friends to say that the pokemon names are still the same in this language.

39. Are there many traffic incidents in your area? I don’t drive anymore so I don’t pay attention. 40. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Probably at some point during travels. I’ve done a lot of weird shit 41. Are you currently downloading anything? No. 42. Does your father have any facial hair? No

43. Have you ever played golf? My mum attempted to get me into golf when I was a kid (maybe young teen?) and I absolutely hated it. It was the most infuriating game I’ve ever played.

44. What was the last tv show you watched an episode of? The Defenders 45. Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favorite brand? Beer is fine. I’m pretty used to Moritz and Estrella Damm because they are common local brands. The fucking worst beer is Balboa in Panama. God it was so awful. Also not a fan of San Miguel which is common across all of spain. 46. Do you feel bad when you throw food out? Yes 47. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? I’ve never waxed. I just shave. 48. What’s your favorite fast food place? I don’t have one. I don’t really eat takeout here. 49. When was the last time you went out for a meal? A few weeks ago. 50. Have you ever been in a car accident? A few minor ones but not while I’ve been driving. 51. What colour shirt are you wearing right now? Navy blue

52. Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach? Y’know I actually don’t think I have... I should get on that.

53. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? I don’t burn anything. That’s a skill, right?

54. When was the last time you went to a campground? That would have been back in April, camping in the Sahara Desert.

55. Do you listen to music while driving? Yes, and I sing along Very Loudly.

56. When was the last time you hung out with people younger than you? I have absolutely no idea.

57. What is the closest blue object to you? Box of tissues on the coffee table.

58. How much did you spend on your last shopping trip? Probably about 25 euros at the grocery store

59. Have you ever gone over your cell phone plan by accident? I used to go over my data limit pretty regularly at my old job.

60. Can you honestly say you’ve been drunk before? Very, and many times. (this question must have been written by a teen)

61. Where did you get your last bruise from? Probably that mystery bruise I got in my armpit in central america. I’m pretty sure I got roofied that night so I don’t remember anything at all but I am still sooooo curious how I got that bruise. Nobody I was with knew how it happened either but then again they were all pretty trashed anyway so even if they saw they might not remember.

62. Are you a person that likes to take chances? Depends. Sometimes I take calculated risks.

63. Would you consider your life to be great right now? Right now it’s pretty mediocre but a month ago it was freaking awesome.

64. Do you remember the dream you had last night? Not exactly but I think it involved me getting tattoos on my arm

65. Do you get emotional easily? I don’t really have emotions tbh

66. Do you get obnoxious when you’re drunk? Nah, I get fun when I’m drunk

67. Who was the first person to ever give you flowers? I’m not sure anybody has ever given me flowers.

68. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? Chicken and veggies to go with my baked potato the other day

69. Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? No.

70. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Mango. It was homemade by a woman in Comuna 13 in Colombia 71. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? Beer or rum and coke 72. Is there a trash can near you? Yeah

73. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? I think I took a selfie in my kitchen a few days ago 74. When was the last time you stayed up throughout the entire night? Cartagena, Colombia. ~8 weeks ago. But I stayed up until 2 or 3am a few times after that.

75. Have you ever considered a foreign-exchange program? No, I just fucked off overseas on my own accord.

76. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yep 77. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? I know literally nothing about the region I was born in.

78. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Well I definitely didn’t expect to learn spanish 79. Is there a subject about which you know a great deal? Probably, but nothing immediately comes to mind 80. What was the last thing that you put off doing? I should probably vacuum and mop my apartment 81. What did you do instead of that activity? Anything else.

Before and after: 3 years ago, today

82. What size is the last bed you kissed on? - Double. - A single bed in a twin room in a hotel. Tbh I probably could have swapped to a double room but at that point I didn’t realise he’d be staying with me

83. When was the last time you were sick? - I got the flu pretty bad in 2013. Probably should have gone to hospital but instead I only took 2 days off work. - I had a mild cold when I got home from my last trip. 84. Do you have any summer plans yet? - I ditched summer in favour of going skiing in Japan - Summer just ended. I don’t know whether my next summer will be here next June/July, or back in Aus in January. Will depend on whether I find a job 85. When was the last time you shaved your legs? - Probably within 2 weeks - Earlier today 86. Is there someone you wish you were closer with? - I think I had just started developing a crush on a guy that I later dated briefly and then he cheated on me, lied about it and broke up with me by facebook message while I was on holiday overseas. So, not the best idea really. - I’m all g. 87. Do you tend to waste a lot of money? - I made 1 or 2 poor decisions with money but I was earning enough to cover my ass. - It’s not a waste when it’s something I actively want to spend the money on. 88. What did you last drink? - Probably pepsi - Orange juice 89. Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? - Uhhh no? - Not unless that’s how I got that mystery bruise in my armpit. 90. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? - Yes - Yes, the same ones 91. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? - Probably around this time 3 years ago was my housewarming - I have never had more than 2 people visit this apartment at a time. Last time I had a crowd would have been my moving out party (from the place I just moved into 3 years ago) which was a bit over a year ago.

92. How many cell phones have you had? - 5 - 7, if you include the work phone I had 93. Where do you get all your clothes? - JayJays - H&M, C&A, Mango etc 94. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? - Nah - Nah 95. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? - No. - I got one just under 3 years ago 96. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? - Alone - Depends. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind having someone here 97. Do you think age matters in relationships? - To an extent - Not really 98. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? - No. - No 99. When will your next kiss be? - Probably the next party I went to. I made out with a lot of people that year - No idea 100. Add up all the digits of your cell phone number. What do you get? - 40 - 50 101. When you lost your virginity, do you honestly feel like you were ready? - I didn’t regret it but I probably wasn’t emotionally ready for it. - Same as above I guess. You only lose it once.

102. Was the person you lost your virginity to younger or older than you? - Older. - ^^

103. Were you sexually experienced whatsoever when you lost your virginity? - Not at all - ^^

104. Have you had sex with more than one person? - Yes - Yes by a larger amount

105. Have you ever had sex with the lights on? - Yes. - Yes

106. Have you ever had sex on a floor? - No - Yes

107. When is the last time you had sex? - Probably like at least 6 months before - About a month ago (can’t believe my trip ended so long ago)

108. Do you care for that person? - Eh - I guess

109. Is this your boyfriend or girlfriend? - No - No

110. The first time you got drunk, how old were you? - 16 - ^^

111. Where were you located the first time you got drunk? - The afterparty of my highschool formal. It was in the backyard of a girl in my grade - ^^

#other potential titles:#From slim-fit to practically painted on #Very and many times #I just fucked off overseas on my own accord

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alexinafterglow · 7 years

Note

1-100 for my baby i love you

Awww I love you too baby thank you for asking!!!1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? There’s a perfect boy in my life named Key 💖 2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? I have forgiven them for it bc it was a long ass time ago.  3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I couldn’t find a book near me fast enough so I typed 17 on “my” chrome book.  4: What’s something you really want right now?  Key and Mexican food tbh. 5: Are you afraid of falling in love? I would say yes but I’ve already fallen head over heels for my baby! 6: How can I win your heart? You already have! 7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes plenty of times with you! 8: What’s the background on your cell?  So after questioning for like 5 minutes what cell was until u told me it was short for cell phone it’s a set of flowers and you bc I’m gay. 9: Name the last four beds you sat on? Key Key Key and mine.  10: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Na not at all because it was my mom lmao.  11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? They are going a billion times better than I ever could have dreamt of! 12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Probably Quinn’s idk I don’t have a lot of friends riiip.  13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? NEITHER I HATE DOGS FIGHT ME 14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional because it’ll never leave you.  15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? How bout yes please.  16: Are you tired? I’m always tired I barely sleep send help.  17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? I’ve had them since 2009 when I had my first phone.  18: If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2008 so I wouldn’t be so fucked tbh.  19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Lmao I’ve only dated Key ripppp.  20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I talk to my first love and first kiss every day 21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I know I have the right person and yes I am gonna marry Key! 22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? It’s Key so hell yes a billion times over! 23: When was the last time you were disappointed? About a month ago.  24: Is there a certain quote you live by?  “This is the anthem throw all your hands up. Y'all don’t have to feel me sing if you’re with me”25: What’s on your mind? Tbh key and I wish my internet would work so I didn’t have to use data.  26: Do you have any tattoos? I wish but not yet.  27: What is your favorite color? My favorite color is red it’s lit.  28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Tomorrow when I see my baby Key!29: Who are you texting? Lmao the one and only Keeey.  30: Are you superstitious about anything? I believe in a lot of superstition but not any about black cats they’re the good pusses.  31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Oh yea plenty of times.  32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? I have plenty just because girls are better than guys to talk to tbh.  33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know my beautiful future Key does.  34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? You have my beautiful emerald! 35: What was the reason for your last breakup? I haven’t had a breakup and won’t soooo.  36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Lmao na I had the most amazing Valentine’s Day ever! 37: Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. I like that I breathe I hate that I’m very clumsy.  38: What do your friends call you? Dill Bill! 39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? My family every day.  40: Have you ever cried over a text? I cried when Key said yes when I asked him out! 41: Where’s your last bruise located? On my elbow.  42: What is it from? I hit it on a wall.  43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Probably about a month ago honestly I wanted to be away from the world.  44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? I’m always on the phone with Key! 45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I love all of my converses! 46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Na I don’t look good with hats on.  47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Oh no I don’t look well bald.  48: Do you make supper for your family?  Every now and then I make dinner for them. 49: What’s the toughest decision you made this year? Probably to convince myself to be me.  50: Top 3 web-pages? Probably any social media site tbh.  51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? No and I’ll fight them.  52: Does anything on your body hurt?  My knees because I have no protection to them when I walk. 53: Are goodbyes hard for you? I never say goodbye unless the other person says it first.  54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Coffee like a month ago.  55: How is your hair? It’s medium length and very faded denim blue in it.  56: What do you usually do first in the morning? I tell Key good morning and then use the bathroom.  57: Do you think two people can last forever? Key and I are going to so yea of course.  58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? Lmao I have been until like almost year ago.  59: Green or purple grapes? Purple are the best.  60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? As soon as I see Key! 61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Right next to Key 62: What did your father teach you? How to treat women correctly.  63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? Probably asleep or waking up randomly. 64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. Trying to go back to sleep while waiting for Key to wake up. 65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? The same person I liked for like 3 years and I love now and am gonna marry! 66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Key!!! 67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I wish I did to Key but no unfortunately.  68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I hope Key sleeps amazingly tonight! 69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Oh yea but I’m pretty sure everyone has.  70: How many windows are open on your computer? Only one and that’s this site called rabb.it key and I use!71: If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first? Anything and everything Key wanted and spend like maybe $100 on a new recording Device so I could lmao.  72: What is your ringtone? Why don’t you get a job- the offsprings  73: How old will you be in 5 months? I’ll be 19! 74: Where is your Mum right now? Asleep like I should be lmao.  75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? I am tho??? 76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? I hold Keys hand everyday that we see each other, which is like every other day, so yea I have.  77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Lmao nope they all dropped me it I dropped them with the exception of Key.  78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? I didn’t really start crushing on people until like the end of grade 8.  79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? Lmao my dad goes by mike.  80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Every other day I do in Keys! 81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? Um let’s see here: key, KeY,Keeeeeey, and lastly keywi! 82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Lmao I sleep pants less so yea.  83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I get to talk to him every night! 84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Well first of all I’m not drunk ever so this question is already invalid.  85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Well once again we’re straight edge so invalid question.  86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? Well I went with Key and I got to snuggle up next to him so there’s that.  87: Who was your last received call from? KEEEEY 88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Um no satin I wouldn’t.  89: What is something you wish you had more of? Key and money to spend on key.  90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? I used to trust everyone too much until I got bullied as a child lmao.  91: Do you sleep with your window open?  Um no I’m not dumb and don’t appreciate losing my goods. 92: Do you get along with girls? Lmao almost all of my current friends RN are girls so yea. Males are usually douches.  93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?  No I tell the truth as soon as I know it. 94: Does sex mean love? To me if I have sex with someone aka Key, then it means love, but in a hypothetical world that I don’t wanna live in where Key doesn’t exist and I just have sex with random people not necessarily.  95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? I’m sorry did you mean the only person I want to spend forever with, Key??? 96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Oh no I’ve only kissed one person.  97: Did you sleep alone this week? Na I slept with my baby Key every night! 98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I definitely do his name is john cena jk it’s key.  99: Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can want to be friends with someone as soon as you see them but you can’t love them until you know them.  100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? Every night I pinky promise Key something.

#my lover dearest #asks #send me asks #ask me anything

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vodka-aunt-coran · 8 years

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archaeology au???? i'm currently writing a shallura fantasy au in which shiro meets allura because he's an arch nerd so I'm listening

oh boy oh boy oK LISTEN

(ok sorry i’m adding a readmore. this got long. beware y’all this is ENTIRELY self-indulgent, like, 100%, and i don’t expect anyone else to enjoy it.)

this begins in college but it’ll extend to post-graduation

i’ll start with shiro, a poor, tired grad student who took a few years after his masters to split his time between CRM and projects whenever he got the chance, but now he’s back to fight for a PhD

his focus is on…hmmm…for now i’m going to go with historical archaeology, mainly focusing on the cultural interactions between china and japan?

shiro is also a TA! and each semester, whatever class he’s teaching, he like. straight-up adopts the undergrads in his section. there are four undergrads in particular who keep popping up. they are his children now.

matt is also a PhD student! he got 2 majors and 2 minors in undergrad, completed his masters really quickly, and then tried to go for a PhD immediately but burned out :x he’s back now! just under heavy supervision from shiro.

matt specializes in reconstructing paleoenvironment. this is done through paleoethnobotany (looking at old seeds n shit), sometimes geoarchaeology (looking at dirt n shit), AND getting climate information………………from ice cores.

(and lake cores but i know what the people really want to hear)

allura is like…everyone’s goals. she took her time getting her degrees (coughcoughmatt) and had a 4.0 probably, she’s worked on a frankly astounding number of projects, and people can hardly believe she doesn’t have a PhD yet.

i’m not 100% sure what allura’s specializing in. i feel like she wouldn’t either? like, she’s worked on such a variety of projects that she took a while to figure out what she really wanted to stick with. my guess is that, like matt, she decides to focus on technical rather than area so she gets to work all over the place. i’ll go with…osteoarchaeology. aka. bones n shit.

that’s right allura’s the badass who gets to work with burials and is probably cursed 93% of the time

her dream job is working on the domuztepe death pit

(don’t look up the death pit if you’re squeamish and also bc the information won’t be as good as if you dm me for the deets update: i made a post concerning The Deets, but proceed with caution, because it is about horrific deaths)

allura and matt are TAs too but matt is not super helpful if it’s not about his own field? and allura is rly intimidating. so people generally just go to shiro for help.

The Children are just undergrads BUT what they end up specializing in:

keith: warfare lmao boy loves his weapon artifacts. he’s like. A1 at identifying them too, show him an old sword and he’ll be like “oh yeah that looks like a viking design from the early 8th century”

lance: he rly…rly likes working on sites near water…like every time he gets to work on a shipwreck or anything underwater his soul grows brighter. that being said, i wanna say his specialty is in preservation and possibly curation? so during important digs he’s on site and nagging everyone to be as careful as possible

hunk: does a lot of lab work! he’s like. the king of the lab. need that sample carbon dated? hunk’s got you. need to know the composition of that ceramic? hunk’s your guy. need lipid analysis? bring it to hunk. he can even get the ancient XRD machine to work, even though no one else can figure it out. he’s a legend.

pidge: …i want to make a her a paleoethnobotanist so bad. but like. i know she wouldn’t simply bc matt’s already doing that and the independent will of second children is strong.fcuk it, she’s a paleoethnobotanist. she’s ridiculously good at identifying samples, and usually ends up helping matt with it. she’s also really into reconstructing diets and stuff and gets excited when she gets to work with stable isotope data.

bonus! shay is a geoarchaeologist who asks for hunk’s help mayyybe more often than is strictly necessary. then again, hunk will sometimes ask her opinion on samples when she’s pretty sure he’s already interpreted it perfectly. a modern romance

ok some more nonsense about them follows in no particular order

all of them are rly passionate about combating looting, collecting, and other destruction of sites. keith almost dropped a collector at a convention once. shiro held him back, but they still got kicked out bc while his back was turned allura and lance were cursing out a rly skeezy (but rich) curator.

shiro: hunk, why didn’t you stop them?hunk: [writing a paper about the museum’s poorly provenienced polynesian artifacts] what?

shiro is more careful about who he brings along to his academic conventions.

i mean. obv he also wrecks these garbage people. but with heavily researched papers n shit.

[while in undergrad]professor holt: ok class today we’re going to watch a documentary on the excavation of this famous site in the 60s!whole class: [cringing at the poor methodology]professor holt: i know, i know, we’ll roast our predecessors after the video is over

keith and pidge are huge conspiracy theorists right. like. aliens are real and out there, you know? so you’d think they’re all about those aliens built the pyramids stuff

some loser: hey you know how the aliens built the pyramids right?keith: ok listen math and astronomy existed before greece there is so much evidence showing that the egyptians themselves built their pyramids and there’s a clear progression from stepped pyramids to perfect ones and the fact that stepped pyramids appear around the world doesn’t mean anything more than making it obvious what the easiest way to build a large structure is and while we’re at it let’s talk about the nasca lines–

basically they call out Certain Theories for what they are bc…like…bro didn’t u notice that u only claim aliens abt incredible achievements when the people aren’t white

shiro: so, wait. if you don’t believe that aliens interacted with prehistoric peoples, why do you believe in them at all?pidge: because they infiltrated european politics beginning with ancient rome and have currently shifted their focus towards controlling american governmentkeith: [pulling out a Conspiracy Board] do you want to see our research, we think it could be our thesis project

like how pidge and keith are into aliens, lance deeply believes in ghosts. he’s convinced that allura has a million curses on her and the fact that she’s still perfect is evidence that she is A Goddess.

allura: lance, there’s no such thing as ghosts. you won’t be haunted or cursed if you help me handle this burial.lance: …alright, fine. only for you.[three days later]allura: [picks up phone] hello lance. how are you?lance: A TREE FELL ON MY CAR YOU LIAR

[at a historical site w shiro]lance: so uh. how many ghosts do you think are in here.shiro: oh my god, you’re just as bad as the other two.pidge: don’t group me in with that! i know ghosts aren’t real.keith: eh, they might belance: you work with violent deaths, how could you sleep at night believing in ghosts?keith: i’m not a coward like some peoplelance: !! i am not a coward!![door slams down the hall]lance and keith: [sprinting back outside]

lance gets on everybody’s case abt what they should and shouldn’t touch, and how to bag things, etc

when anyone wants a lipid or dna sample run, hunk makes sure that lance is there to make sure they properly handle the artifact sharon if you don’t wear gloves and the facemask all your research won’t count for shit

keith is The Worst at bagging and labelling his shit like. lance sometimes just makes a point of coming to his digs for the express purpose of labelling all the stuff for him.

lance: keith are you really going to make me waste shelf space on all these soil sampleskeith: [softly] lance i don’t know why the fuck we even take soil samples this isn’t my job

lance made the mistake of going to pick up boxes of artifacts from the holts on april fools day. when matt ‘tripped’ and dropped the box, it didn’t matter that it was really empty, because lance was already in tears. shiro had A Word with them. pidge and matt had to be a lot nicer to lance after that.

allura and keith work together pretty often bc. y’know. war stuff and remains tend to overlap. they’re besties with a sense of morbid humor to rival shiro’s.

allura: keith you’ll never guess what happened to this femur!keith: it looks…bad?allura: yes. the individual was killed by a boiling tar poured over the nearby wall!keith: i guess he didn’t get a heads up?allura: haha!! exactly!! or else he would’ve suffocated horribly!!both: [laughing]shiro: [hunched over faded old documents] god i wish that were me

pidge: hey lance, i was sieving through dirt from the hearth area for seeds, but i think i just found a tooth?lance: oh god ok put that back i’ll call allurapidge: dude it’s just a tooth, it might not even be human. i think we can handle it.lance: what if it is!! where do you think teeth come from pidge!!pidge: look, someone just happened to drop a tooth in the fireplace!!keith: hey guys i think i just found a skull in the hearthpidge: DAMN ITlance: AHA!!keith: not the reactions i was expecting but,

hunk: keith, i need to break off a piece of it if you want composition. you know how this works.keith: [cradling knife to his chest] but i love her

(update: here are a few bonus additions to this, since this is more or less the main post and this is main stuff)

#oh god i love this au #again i dont expect anyone to care about it but #text #self indulgent au #space family #i feel like i want to add more but also i want to sleep yknow #anon #ask

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