#AND WE DESERVE TO SEE MORE OF HER AND GROMIT!!!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
As you know, I've been lowkey aardman-pilled, just consuming every movie and short I can get my hands on lately! Well, I've been talking about a self insert oc idea with my partner and today I finally had the energy to sketch some stuff! (divider cred @/saradika-graphics)
After the events of A Matter of Loaf and Death, we don't really see Fluffles again unfortunately so I thought, what if she decided to go up for adoption again? Obviously she was very traumatized by Piella, and I think after some encouragement she'd be able to open herself up to being owned again eventually! I guess you could say she's a rescue, and through patience and love she eventually begins to heal!
I'm thinking the catch is that she's adopted by someone who lives far away, so Gromit has to let her go in order for her to heal. They still keep in touch through letters, though! And one day he gets a letter saying that Fluffles and her human are gonna be moving in on Wallaby street soon! She's a gentle artist, she moved to England from America to paint landscapes and such and she's a very kind and kinda goofy older lady. Definitely a great dog mom to Fluffles!
and idk maybe wallace starts crushin' who knows
TaglistâĄ: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @changeling-selfship @crushes-georg
@cherry-bomb-ships @rosieaurora @rejaytionships @tropgothships @little-miss-selfships
@starlos-soulmate @limey-self-inserts @candyheartedchy @space-sweetheart @halsinkisser @clancykisser @squips-ship @berryshipbasket @soulnottainted @homevideorentals @shakessoulmate @emceescha
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#oc x canon#self insert community#self ship community#self insert art#self ship art#aardman#wallace and gromit#fluffles#like i said idk if its like a full-on crush rn but i DO think its cute how easily wallace falls in love đđ#every time he's had a love interest hes IMMEDIATELY whipped#and i do think fluffles deserves someone whos gonna take care of her and help her heal#AND WE DESERVE TO SEE MORE OF HER AND GROMIT!!!!!#also ive learned that there is a FINE line between the aardman style and the gf style?? especially in 2d#its all in the size of the eyeballs relative to the head
180 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Wallace & Gromit Vengeance Most Fowl is highly recommended! Please watch it!
I'm American and I had to watch it on a pirated website, but I highly recommend watching it! It has the same charm as the old W&G movies and has a message about modern technology too. It literally has the same humor as the others! I'm happy that Nick Park came back for this, this deserves way better than that stupid Chicken Run knock off sequel. I hope this movie does better. If you're in the UK and can see this in theaters, please go support Aardman! Do the rest of the world a favor that we wish we could do!
So yes, even though I couldn't watch the full movie through and had to pause once in a while, it felt so surreal watching a NEW Wallace & Gromit movie. As someone who grew up with Aardman (well, grew up with the W&G/Shaun the sheep stuff mostly, I didn't watch their other movies until I got older), it feels so cool. Also, the voice actors did an amazing job and I like the new characters they added on. That police girl was iconic! You'll like her when you watch the movie! The cop from Curse of the Wererabbit is in it, but unfortunately Lady Tottington isn't (I think I heard her voice on the phone in one scene though). Obviously we saw that Feathers McGraw is back. I'll admit, I didn't like him as much as most Aardman villains but with the story, they made it work and continued the whole story. Like, it even showed him in the zoo from the old Wrong Trousers movie. They also included a lot of other references to previous Wallace & Gromit movies, which is amazing!
If this movie wasn't released right on freaking New Years eve, this would have got more hype. I'm still pissed about Inside Out 2 beating The Wild Robot, like that was so unfair! The Wild Robot deserved better, Inside Out 2 only made more money because it was in theaters longer. More people I know enjoyed the Wild Robot, including children! Imagine how much this amazing movie could have made if it wasn't just released in the UK but everywhere, and before Christmas. Disney's also getting very greedy and forcing theaters to play that Lion King Mufasa thing that no one asked for. Seriously, I hear no one talking about that movie other than making fun of that "You disrespect my brothaaaa" song or whatever but almost everyone loves Wallace & Gromit. I really hope this isn't Aardman's last Wallace & Gromit movie, especially with the original people. I read a few of the OG people's names besides Nick Park, who will probably be working for as long as possible, from what I heard about him. I just really hope they'll still do another W&G or Shaun the sheep movie after this (I prefer Wallace & Gromit because of the talking, but I grew up mostly with Shaun the sheep).
Anyway, tell me your thoughts. I don't tolerate Wallace & Gromit/Shaun the sheep slander! Just kidding, I'll listen to everyone's opinion even if it doesn't match mine.
#best wallace and gromit movie#wallace & gromit vengeance most fowl#wallace & gromit#wallace and gromit#shaun the sheep#vengeance most fowl#my thoughts
13 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Hi! Can I please ask your top 5 characters who you think deserved better?
Hello! Absolutely!
Mikasa Ackerman. I'm not going to include Eren on this list because he committed a lot of crimes and did kind of deserve what he got (actually, I think he got off kind of easy), but Mikasa had to face her greatest fear and give up the last remaining person she could call family, and then she had to live the rest of her long life missing him.
The Evangelion kids. I'm lumping them all together. They were used by the adults, put through the horrific pain of piloting Eva, and had the fate of the whole world dropped on their skinny shoulders. They should have been at the club.
Ukyo Kuonji. Out of all the love rivals, she got the worst consolation prize. Like, I guess the free labor is a bonus, but there is no way she would ever see Konatsu as an actual romantic prospect. Ukyo is my favorite non-Akane fiancee because I simply like her character and I thought she deserved better.
Gale Hawthorne. He gets shit on by the fandom because of that stupid goddamn love triangle, but I could never hate him. He wanted to see a better world and that was used to manipulate him into becoming the very thing he was fighting against. Also, I think more than he was romantically interested in Katniss, he was afraid of losing his best friend and didn't know how to parse those feelings correctly. I don't think he deserves the hate I've seen him get from the fandom, even though I thought his actual ending in the series made sense and was right for the story. It still made me sad, though.
Gromit from Wallace and Gromit. My kid and I watched it when we were sick and man. Wallace has his head so far up his ass. He takes Gromit for granted and has no idea what's important to him. He never gives Gromit the benefit of the doubt when Gromit is being framed. Free Gromit from that man!
#my asks#ask me things#answered asks#top five#characters who deserved better#mikasa ackerman#asuka langley soryu#rei ayanami#shinji ikari#ukyo kuonji#gale hawthorne#gromit
8 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Top 12 Films of 2024
Hello all you happy people! This is something i've wanted to do for YEARS, and finally had the space for, a look at my faviorite films each year. I love making lists and since joining Letterboxd a few years ago it's thorughly endulged that love. But it also got me to fall in love with film and made my journey through horror that started with IT and is still ongoing a blast.
2024 was a neat year in film, and one where a lot of the big tentpole franchises were absent and while we got a bunch of sequels, it's a weird mix of ones that were ineveitble like Deadpool and Wolverine, Maxxine, a new alien, sonic 3, and weird suprises: I mean this year gave us an omen prequel, a soft reboot of planet of the apes, the return of twister and beetlejuice, and the grand return of Wallace and Gromit. For every sequel that was fortold in the scrolls, there was one that while announced long ago still felt like a suprise.
And that's the best way to describe this year: a nice suprise. While ther'es films I expected tobe great and were like Monkey Man or Dune part 2, there's a lot of nice little suprises: I didn't expect Transformers One to be a gorgeous epic, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice ot be so damn fun, or Wicked to be every bit as good as a John M Chu film deserves to be. And I don't think anyone who wasn't already aware of it expected hundreds of beavers, but damn if I didn't enjoy it.
Speaking of enjoying, I got to enjoy more films than ever. In years past I had to rely on having someone to go with me, usually my mom, the rest of my family on a whole family outing or my best friend cory. But having moved to a place close to a movie theater last year, there were plenty I could just go walk up to and enjoy. There are a few also rans like Imaginary, the worst film of the year I saw (I havne't put myself through the sony spider-man films from this year yet), or the disapointing ministry of ungentlemanly warefare, but I also got to see the gloriously gay Love Lies Bleeding when it was there for the week, the moody and atmosphereic the watchers, the also pretty dang gay the bikedriders, the wonderfully greasy Maxxine, the tense as hell Alien Romulus, the even more disturbing now we know it was a documentary about P.Diddy Blink Twice, the glorious and once again gloriously gay Transformers One, the thriller that was better than it had any right to be speak no evil, the Hugh Grantastic Heretic, and of course Sonic 3: 2 Many Jim Carries.
It was a hell of a year and while you can see what I choose you can find out who made it where on the list , honorable mentions, and other reasons to hurl things at me if you ever meet me under the cut!
12. Will and Harper (Directed by Josh Greenbaum)
Will and Harper is a film that thrives off vibes, friendships, and genuine warmth. It follows Will Ferrel who you may know from such films as Anchorman, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues and Anchorman 3: We Both Know He's Going to Do This At Some Point and his best friend Harper Steele. Harper was a writer for him on SNL a hard drinking party person.. and a closted Trans woman, something they finally came to terms with and came out as recently and something the documentary dives into.
Will's first response is what anyone's first response should be: That's great! Good for you. But while Will is entirely supportive he's also lost in both how to be a good ally and and how to tackle their friendship so he has a wonderful suggestion: a road trip. Harper loved doing those but now has to navigate the relaity of going to roadside dives and other places where she may not feel safe and jumps at the idea, packing tons of cheep beer and pringles.
The trip is a fun one as it dosen't overplay it.. it just.. humanizes and goes into the reality of Harper's life: how free she feels, how her kids feels, and just treats her like a person. It dosen't ignore the reality of being a trans person in a company on the cusp for voting a transphobic facist back into office, Harper goes into a bar herself knowing she might be in danger but wanting to see if she can (And having her emotinal support will ferrel on standbye) and even HAVING will there or a camera crew dosen't protect her: a visit to a texas steak house goes horribly wrong with Will assering her gender.. leading ot everyone turning on him, tons of horrible online comments and the implicit guarnatee the cameras , while protecting them, were barely doing that for a change and WIll feeling guilty.
Harper Steele isn't a purse dog. She's not Will Ferrel's trans friend to say she has one. She's a human being and despite being not as famous as her best friend, the film treats them on equal footing and shows why they are: they rib each other, make jokes, have weird runners (including Will really wanting to go to Dunkin in a way that feels less like product placement and more like Will Ferrel just loves duncan donuts). Harper is a no nonsense woman happy to live her life and to see she can still do the things she loves, while Will is the good natured goofus you'd expect from a man whose spent a scene every movie or two running around in his undies. Harper is both not who will knew and exactly every bit the person he knew, simply a happier fuller version of herself. It's simply two friends hanging out and in doing so shows to people who may of rejected Harper out of hands what most of you reading this already knows: Trans people are just.. people. Nothing less and treating them like anyone else isn't that hard. Nor is it hard to support someone as they transition. You just have to be willing to learn and willing to see them as who they really are. I did it for my sister, and Will Ferrel did it for his best friend.
11. Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl (Directed by Merlin Crossingham and Nick Park, W by Mark Burton)
I reviewed this one just a few days ago so I won't take long here: Vengance Most Fowl is a fun long awaited return of everyone's faviorite duo packed with a masterfull thought out plot, tons of call backs that feel nicely seeded in for more than just nostalgia, and some really damn fine jokes. Check it out if you haven't. In a year this bad it was the cup of tea we all needed.
10. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (Directed by Wes Ball, Written by Josh Friedman) This is one of those trailers i got in front of damn near everything, similar to Speak No Evil for the rest of the year. And like Speak No Evil despite trailer fatigue this film fucking slapped. Kingdom is a breathtaking adventure mostly content to just show off it's world: generations after the previous trilogy, itself a high bar that this flim clears, Apes rule over the earth, Ceaser is but a legend and one young ape finds his entire villiage kidnapped and takes off on horseback to go find him. Along the way he finds a human friend, tales of the past, and the hard truth that the past rarely stays buried and conflict is sadly cyclical. I won't spoil much more for this one if you haven't seen it. It's a gorgeous little odessy that just warms my heart every time I think of it with vial lessons on history and how it can be twisted by both those with good intentions and those with the worst and how some will always think something belongs only to them. It's a fantastic film and a fantastic new direction for a franchise I wasn't sure should keep going but damn if Wes Ball proved me wrong.
9. Wicked (DR: John M Chu, W: Winnie Holzman and Dana Fox) Wicked was the loudest suprise of the year. I knew it was coming and as it approached barely any films didn't have the trailer, the marketing was everywhere but I wasn't expecting much. I HOPED it'd be good as director John M Chu had previously directed one of my faviorite films, In the Heights.. which I just realized I haven't revisited since it came out AND need to review sometime.
But thanks to WBD's bungling was criminally underappreciated at release. Thankfully Chu's success here means not only will more people likely check it out but the man can do whatever he wants. Whatever he wants apparently includes Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for some reason but I mean... if anyone can get me to watch that it's him.
I liked him. I like Ariana Grande (Least as a performer), Michelle Yeoh and i'll watch anything with Jeff Goldblum. But the idea of sitting through a nearly three hour musical based on a musical I had no attachment to beyond defying gravity and a love of it's initial leads (Who get a truly god tier cameo I won't spoil), and a property I really never vibed with in general aside from thinking The Great and Powerful Oz was kinda okay. It seemed like it'd be FINE, but it didn't seem like the successor I really wanted after enjoying his direction for Crazy Rich Asians and ADORING In the Heights.

Yeah Wicked is fucking phenominal. A lot of it is in it's not so secret weapon, Cynthia Ervio. While I hadn't heard of her she was already well seasoned having done tons of stage work, and been nominated for an oscar for playing Harriet Tubman. It shows as she sinks into Elphelba beautifully, portraying someone both not giving a fuck what everyone thinks.. but also underneath deeply bothered by how her green skin ostracises her from the world. Ervio is a fucking revelation and i'm shocked it took this long for her to break out but better late than never as she owns this film.
Ariana Grande dosen't do too shabby either, making it clear no one else in this day and age could play Glinda with the right mix of alpha bitch, bubble headeness and big heart hidden underneath both. Everyone in this film brings it but these two are it's anchor: it's their story after all and everything rotates around them. Still special kudos to Peter Dinklage who like Jeff Goldblum could get me to watch anything and Dinklage has been in a LOT of garbage.. that i'd still watch. He may only voice professor dillamond but he brings dignity and majesty to the goat and makes the plight of the animals all too painful and real.. and given the times we're in a group being slowly shoved out to slowly elimated them because of one man's prejudice is all too painfully relevant.
I hadn't heard of Jonathan Bailey but damn if he dosen't ooze charm, sex and hidden depths. You can tell from early on his playboy facade is a bit of a put on, something to protect him from the world.. and something slowly slipping as he finds someone who rather than let him dance through life, has him think.
There's a LOT to say about this film I might one day. For now it's just fucking brilliant. It's a film that justfies the split into two films, something that would hurt a lot of musicals and why most have to be compressed into one film, but here works. Not just because of a time skip I hear comes in act 2, but to build out this gorgeous world. The musical numbers aren't super spread out so you don't forget i'ts a musical but the extra time is used to give everything some depth and color. And also even more gay than the apparent truckload already there. This film is gay as fuck and comes off as a love triangle between three people all in love with each other and also Bok's there but doesn't really count. It's a film that's queer, timely and lovely and if you somehow haven't tried it, it's well worth the time investment. If a film that's very sapphic and has peter dinklage as a wise sad goat isn't for you I dont' know how you ended up here.
8. Saturday Night (DR: Jason Reitman W: Reitman and Gil Kenan)
It's the 50th anniversary of SNL this year and the celebration started early with a powerhouse season that includes the greatest song about karening ever
youtube
It also contained this film. And while some haven't enjoyed it (Including one of my idols and snl expert Nathan Rabin), I couldn't help but love this film. Is Saturday Night historically innacurate as fuck? Probably. It squeezes in every antecdote about the show's history it can into the 90 minutes before it went live, adds shit for drama and definitely mythologizes the show. The only thing I can say for certain is Chevy Chase was defintely an asshole and that's not exactly something hard to get conformation on.
As a film though.. it's straight fire. It's a pressurey 90 minutes as John Baptistes perfect soundtrack really sells the pressure: our hero Lorne Micheals, a truly once in a lifetime sentence, has to cobble the show together clashing with his own overwrought vision, tension with his creative partner and wife in name only Rosie (played by an awesome Rachel Senoit whose films I'm long overdue to watch) and the various shenanigans of his casts and writers from Micheal Odonghue being that asshole, to Chevy Chase's massive ego, to John Belshi beliving he's too good for this, there's lot of egos, cocaine and chaos to go around. It's a tight 90 minute film: not a minute is wasted. Even squeezing Milton Burle in to play off his infamous hosting gig feels right.. mainly because it's JK Simmons. JK Simmons can do no wrong.
The film does do some. While the historicla innacuracy dosen't bother me how it brushes off their treatment of Jim Henson at times is. I've covered the Land of Gorch Sketches and sadly reports Jim would be a punchine were accurate as the cast mistreating him, refusing to write for him and being dicks to him is just kinda played off when them having to write for him was not Jim's fault. It's not fun watching a bunch of dickheads bully or brush off your own personal jesus who just wants to make people happy. Thankfully he does get a really nice monologue in an elevator with a blood soaked lorne micheals so it evens out a little.
The film is just fun with Lemone Morris getting a nice bit as Garret Morris , and tons of nice little moments among the chaos. It also has Willam Defoe whose a tad wasted as "grumpy exec man they convince their right to", but I feel less bad about it by this point as thankfully someone else knew how to use their Willam Defoe better. It'd be really neat if that was the next entry but instead have...
7. Hundreds of Beavers (DR: Mike Chesik W: Chesik and Ryland Brickson Cole Tews)
Hundreds of Beavers was a nice suprise.. and a film i'm shocked no one told about me sooner. It's essentially a looney tunes sketch mixed with a lets play and a silent movie, a genre the film made me genuinely curious about. My love of looney tunes and impatient wait for a new film (which we'll be getting next year), made this an easy sell: I love good old slapstick and an ambitious indie film that was screened in 2022 but properly came out this year so i'm countin it for this one suck it letterboxd, it was catnip for me.
And it's damn good. Also free on Tubi. It's a simple story: a hapless applejack bootleger in pioneer times looses his booze to some beavers and has to survive in the wilderness and learn to hunt. That's the film. Just one dumbass trying to survive against a whole wilderness of creatures smarter than him and slowly ranking up as he gets more tools either from a local furrier who hates him (his daughter's sweet on our hero at least), a native who gladly trades with him or a wise mentor whose dogs play poker. The film is packed with great sight gags, runners and just plane invention. Ther'es truly nothing like it and had the castle bit not dragged a little, it'd be way higher. And that's the faintest critcism I can give. Hundreds of Beavers is fucking awesome and makes a dumbass fighting a bunch of animals represneted by furries into the greatest thing ever. It's the best comedy in years and proof the medium just needs more of a push.
6. Nosferatu (D and W: Robbert Eggers)
I hadn't seen any of Robbert Eggers films before this, but I love me a good vampire story. I also liked this year's Abbigail and need to watch more vampy goodness in general, but damn if Nosferatu didn't end this year on a high and finally push me to stop procastinating on the Lighthouse. I mean I still haven't got to it but i'm a slow ass motherfucker sometimes.
I waited to see if this flim made the list, as while I missed many a great film in 2024 I need to catch up on (Longlegs, I Saw the TV Glow, The Substance), this thankfully wasn't one of them. Nosferatu is a gothic horror film in every since, a slow build that's worth it. Having watched the kill count on the original (and now badly wanting to watch the original) it follows it closely plot wise, adding a few pivots like adding in it's own van helsing equivlent.
Nosferatu is a moody, horny film, where a dark monster stalks a woman he claimed years ago when she was a teen and dosen't get how fucking vile that is. There's some fucking, a lot of gyration and a lot of morphine for said gyration because this is the turn of the century and women having orgasms was dark and scary to the menfolk. Except Willam Defoe who eats the entire set as the aformentiond Van Helsing Equilvent who is unabashed about beliving a demon did this and gets to dance in flame towards the climax. I won't ruin the context, but I belivie anyone who wouldn't be at least midlly curious about William Defoe cackling madly while surrounded by flames just plain dosen't exist.
Defoe though is a good side dish: the main stars are Lily Rose Depp, who spends the first half comotose, being stalked by Nosferatu (aka count orlock but nosferatu is funner to type), giving out sleep orgasms or being possesed by the count, but gets to stand up for herself in the second half brilliantly and thorughly owns the screen.
The other is horror legend Bill Skaarsgard of IT fame who manages to rack up another iconic horror role. Nosferatu here isn't a man despite an impressive mustache, but pure evil itself, a type of character that's hard to pull off. I prefer a complex villian.. but if you can make one that's just pure pants wetting terror and pull if off you have my repspect and Nosferatu is the most terrifying villian i've encountered in horror. A deep rich voice that commands you to look even when you'd rather look away, a hypnotic horrifying voice. He's often in shadow but when seen he's often a corpse, a THING with the ears and silloutte, something that APPEARS human but instead jsut preys on us. He only cares about getting what he claims is his and will murder , spread plauge and kill anyone who says otherwise.
Thankfullyt he film avoids being anti immigrant propogranda; the supserstious townsfolk seen as goofy little guys in most films are absolutely right and while terrifed of Orlok the only ones who can combat him, while Willem Defoe's character is also an immigrant and the only one of the men who dosne't infantalize lead lady elizabeth. Nosferatu isn't pure evil because he's a corpse man but because he himself as man, as a vampire is a bastard, a true monster and pure terror. Every time he was on screen I was uncomfortable and needed to leave the theater after at least twice. Skaarsgard is just that fucking chilling.
Nosferatu is a film that's both deeply gorgeous, with tons of snow dappled vistas and god tier shots, and not afraid to be hammy with our reinfeld equilvent being a world class ham and Defoe .. well I mentioned the shouting while surrounded by flames didn't I? This film is still in theaters at the time of this review and well worth the 15 bucks.
5. Dune Part Two (DR: Dennis Villenueve W: Villenueve and John Spaihts)
I was amped for Dune Part Two and it did not disapoint. I had some reservations as while I liked the scope and grandeure of part one with fantastic visuals and a deft peformance by Timothee Chalamet. But while I liked it both watching it at home day and date and the reptitive desert visuals in the second half detracted from it's strong world that even if it didn't explain it, felt lived in and intresting enough for me to come back.
And i'm glad I did as Part 2 is fucking triumpuhant, easily earning Villeneuve his third movie and hopefully his second oscar nomination. Part 2 takes the excellent setup from the first time around and gets off running turning what could easily be both a chosen one narrative and a whtie savior narrative into a deconstruction of both: this skinny white teenager coming in and being their messiah isn't a good thing for him or them. It's a roll he dosen't want as Paul has seen it ends in an interstellar genocide, a Jihad with no end that brings peace through tyranny.
And that dread is what drives the film: Paul badly wants to avoid being a mass murderer. As you do. But outside of his girlfriend Chani, played excellently by Zendaya who gets to do way more this go round and plays the sole voice of reason, everyone from his mother to his new best friend to even his mentor are begging him to escalate the war: to end the Harkkonens and the Empire. It's a pile of motherly protectivness, cultish religious fevor and pure uncut vengance that pushes Paul closer and closer to his dark fate. It's what happens when the chosen ones path isn't saving the world or being a bright hero.. but being death destroyer of worlds.
The rest isn't too shabby. Florence Pugh gets a lot of neat stuff to do as Irulan while Austin Butler won my enternal respect as the bestial, horrifying and nightmarish Fade Rathua, with the arena scene being peak film for me. Part 2 is a masterful work that manages to make what would be hopeful in any othe rfilm, our hero ascending and getting ready to fight his enemies, into a true nightmare as he fully succumbs to a bloody genocide and Chalamee makes it a truly chilling finale that will no doubt lead to a perfect conclusion to this trilogy.
4. The Fall Guy (D: David Leitch, W: Drew Pierce)
The Fall Guy's failure at the box office is the biggest box office tragedy for me since In the Heights... it wouldn't be the last one for me this year either. For whatever reason, Audiences just didn't go see this one despite a dynamite cast and David Leitch's excellent track record. It's failure still baffles me as the Fall Guy is a perfectly made action comedy.
The Fall Guy is at once a romantic comedy about a loveable himbo who after a massive tragedy ghosts the love of his life and now has to win her back after his agent tricks him into working on her directoral debut. Add in Hannah Waddingham as said manipulative agent Bryan Tyree henry as his best friend, stunt cordinator and for part of the film sidekick, a good boy he finds along the way and adopts, and Aaron Taylor Johnson as the arrogant star of the film he has to find to save it and you have a true comedy classic that also kicks loads of ass. The stunts are all excellent, owning to Leitch's own stunt background while also being reverent to the sheer work it takes to make a blockbluster. It's a blockbuster about the craft and a love letter to all the people we rarely think about who make our faviorite films. It's funny, action packed and has Ryan Gosling in another amazing performance after Ken. It dosen't top Ken, there's no grand musical number for unless you count sobbing out taylor swift in his car, but it's a tremendous film that i'll defintely watch again. It may of not won the box office's hearts but it certainly won mine.
3. The Wild Robot (D and W: Chris Sanders)
Now for a film that got the box office it deserved and more. The Wild Robot was a film I was worried about once I realized "Wait the animals talk".. and then realized I was stupid for that as not only are talking animals rad, but the film ended up being a gorgeous fable about an autistic coded Robot's journey to find herself while raising a duckling she orphaned with her common law husband whose also a fox but is also Pedro Pascal so he defintely fucks.
The Wild Robot is a simple story told gorgeously, with painted cgi that really adds to that storyboook vibe, giving the film a look that just takes hold of you. Full disclosure: I missed a chunk of the early part of the film because I stupidly didn't get my concesions durin gthe previews, and I still loved this film and will happily rewatch it when it streams this week. It's a gentle, amazing tale about accepting our diffrences, finding yourself and letting go of your child so they can find themselves. There are so many layers to this thing and it more than deserves a full review at some point. Lupita Nyongo gives a career best performance, and the ending sets us up for a sequel that we're thankfully getting. It was a gamble.. but it paid off and in any other year it might've been the best animated film of the year, certainly the best film starring robots... however
2. Transformers ONE (DR: by Josh Cooley, W by Eric Pearson, Andrew Berrar and Gabriel Ferrari)
This one's going to hopefully be brief as I wrote a LENGTHY review of this masterpiece when it came out. I went into ONE with mildly positive expectations and came out of it utterly floored. One is an epic tale of love, loss, fighting against a society that uses you, finding yourself (I Know, again), and two friends and probably lovers divdied by their nature and the truth of their world. It's a fucking masterpiece and i've said that before on this list i'm sure but this is true. It's a shame even more than Fall Guy this one flopped as it wasn't it's fault: unlike Rise of the Beasts and the long string of live action failures (bumblbeee excluded) , this film is everything transformers can and should be and while it didn't succeed the way it shoudl've, it'll forever hold as a classic, a shining sci fi epic in the old style but with modern writing. It's a gorgeous masterwork that begs to be watched again and again and uses familiar frameworks to tell a film that made me feel like a kid again. It's what the star wars prequels felt like as a kid instead of what they are. It's so dang good.
So before we get to the one film that could topple something this perfect the honorable mentions
Honorable Mentions:
Maxxine: Plotwise i'ts a bit of a mess but this film thrives on vibes and still closes out the trilogy on a high note. Goth once again delivers an astounding perfomrance. Plus it has Kevin Bacon as a sleazy detective really loving his villian era.
Heretic: Speaking of Villian eras Hugh Grant plays the emobidment of intellectual superiorist assholes to a hilt, being both creepy and intemidating but also letting cracks show in his intellegence and era of menace and superiority like imitating jar jar binks, being that guy whose mad someone dosen't get his refrence and freestyling to Radiohead's creep.
Speak No Evil: Look i'ts James Macavoy, my macaboy, as an uhinged serial killer trapping people with politness who also loudly belts Gloria. I'm not made of stone
Big City Greens; Spacecation: Another one I reviewe d in full and one that was very close to actually making the list a few times. A cult classic in the making. Check it out even if you haven't seen the show.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga; Beautifully shot with an all time performance from both Taylor-Joy and Hemsworth. A true odessy.
Inside Out 2: how it was made was throughly shitty and Disney needs to stop treating Pixar like shit, and trans people. And queer people in general. And just people. A good film despite Disney sucking hard
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice: Is this film a bunch of plots loosely connected by a paperclip and a piece of string? Yes. Does it have Willam Defoe as a cheesy 80's actor whose now a cop for real but still acts like a cheesy character actor? Fuck yes. It's got a stacked cast, great jokes and a great way out of using a pedophile's likeness. It's a messy good time.
Abigail: A bit slow to start but damn does it land. radio silence really cannot make a bad film.
The First Omen: Good intense gripping stuff. Far surpasses the original.
LOTR: War of the Rohirrim: Look there should be more films where , Brian Cox punches a lot of people to death with his bare hands.
Wicked Little Letters: Lower on my list but damn did this one become a sneaky good time.
Alien Romulus: Got me into the alien franchise again. nuff said
So onto our grand winner...
1... Monkey Man ( DR: Dev Patel, W: Patel, Paul Angunawela and John Colee)
This film has held a grip on me since I watched it and is one I badly need to rewatch again. Monkey Man is a film that holds you the whole time even when you take a break, an intense film that never lets you leave our hero or his situation: The Kid is a downtrodden young waiter and fighter who can take a thousand hits and get back up and wants vengance on the elite motherfuckers who burned down his villiage, killed his mom. It's a simple motivation but you can feel that flame the whole time as he works his way up, how he carefully plots his revenge.. only for it to go sideways. Yet it's what drives him at first. It's only by finding fellow outcasts in a group of Hiraja, indian trans and intergender (and according to wikipedia eunchs), who gladly let him train... mostly because he looks damn good with a shirt off but also because their kind and he returns that kindness to save their temple before resuming the rampage.
The plot is simple.. thredbear.. but it works on pure emotion. You follow the kid thorugh every step, every beat as he punches, gets punched and stabbed, trains and then goes back for the grand finale with an army of new friends showing up to back his ass up. It's a film with a lot to say, teaching me a lot about indias inequality and issues and showing sometimes when gradual change won't work, one person can make that change by any means necessary. It's a film with a lot to say, while also being a visual treat. This is Patel's first time directing but youc annot tell with frantic perfect cuts, dripping neon atmosphere and tons of fantastic set pieces. Monkey Man dosen't stop burning till the last frame and won't stop burning in my heart. It's a film taking queues from many , some I'v eseen some I haven't, but all it's own. It's a tale of social justice wrapped in two savage fists and I'm all here for it. More please mr patel.
Thanks for reading, and remember, i'm pullin for ya we're all in this together.
#the fall guy#wicked#dune part 2#2024#film#monkey man#the wild robot#hundreds of beavers#wallace and gromit#vengance most fowl#Youtube#kingdom of the planet of the apes#saturday night#transformers one#will and harper
8 notes
¡
View notes
Text
A Proper Man - Henry Deaver X Mistress
Warning: 18+ mentions of sex/cheating/mature themes. This part: Sex, roleplay-esque degradation/little bit of bum play but not a lot. Please read at your own discretion.
Note: This one takes place directly after Cat Burglars, AKA when I left yâall with a smut cliffhanger ;) Enjoy!
Read more Henry x Mistress here > Masterpost
"Are you teasing me, Mr. Deaver?" Your question carried on a shallow breath.
Henry had you nearly naked on the four-poster bed where Mary slept every night. The soft duvet smelled like her perfume â powdery and fresh, but overloaded and nearly nauseating. It was easy to put from mind when Henry worked your shirt up over your breasts and leaned back to stare at them.
"Teasing? No. I just want to touch you all over first. Is that too much to ask?"
"Certainly not," you giggled as he pressed a kiss to your sternum, tickling you with his five o'clock shadow.
He unbuttoned his shirt and got his tank top halfway off before you pulled him against you and rolled over so you could preside over his body. His eyes grew wide with intrigue, his lips curling into a dreamy smirk. The blushing splotches on his chest matched the shade of the bed cover and you bit your lip to keep yourself from enjoying it too much.
Henry palmed himself through his boxers, expecting you wanted to see him looking needy for you. As delectable as it was when he displayed his stiffness through the thin material, you had a different idea in mind. You straddled him and wiggled your hips back and forth, causing a soft moan to leave his open mouth.
"So," you began, catching his attention right away. "Your wife thinks you like to fuck whores. Tell me, sir, am I just another one of your sluts?"
His eyes widened at first, but he settled his hands on your hips and smirked. "Of course, you are. My little whore."
"Mm-hmm, big man with a great big cock. Only a slut like me knows what to do with a dick like that."
"Come on then. If you want to be my whore, then show me what you do when you make me hard."
His confidence was growing. To look down and see him returning your gaze with ardency filled you with warmth and pride. He brought a slap down on your ass, extorting a squeal from you that made him grin. He clutched at your panties, pulling them up rather than down. He anchored his chin to his chest and watched the material pulling tight over your groin.
"Mm-hmm, squirm for me, baby. I know how bad you need me to spread that pussy open."
The cotton constricting against your clit created a small amount of delicious pressure. He murmured happily, coiling his fingers around the hem until you feared your underwear might rip.
"I can see a little wet spot on your panties. Are you hungry for my cock, you little slut?"
"Yes, sir. I need you to fill me up. Nothing makes me happier than having my whore cunt full of your cock."
Henry couldn't keep himself from throbbing if he tried. You felt the pulse beneath you and stirred your hips again. He sat up and threw you onto your stomach before tearing your panties down to your knees. There was no time to shed them completely as he pressed himself against your ass, letting you feel his erection but not entirely.
"God, you're a nasty one. You want to get fucked on this bed knowing she's going to sleep in it tonight? She's going to be thinking of me putting my cock in your filthy little holes already, so we might as well make it a reality, right?"
"Oh, yes, sir," you moaned with excitement, rubbing back up against him.
He thumbed your slit once and you seethed as he spread your wetness upward. The daring way he approached your ass made you look back with your lip held between your teeth. "Like the way my ass looks, don't you?"
You feared Henry might be losing steam as his brow contorted and a whimper escaped his throat. But he was only preparing to lean down so he could lick you from hole to hole. The move deserved the loudest moan of encouragement you could muster. You didn't know that pride and pleasure could walk hand-in-hand until his tongue flickered against a different tightness. It amazed you to witness his confidence spike every time he tried something new. And he was good at it. You reminded yourself to tell him how impressed you were with his exploration and aptitude.
"Like the way your ass tastes, baby girl. Fuck, I want to eat every inch of you."
"I'd love to let you, sir, but won't we run out of time?"
Henry squeezed your cheeks, absently stroked your velvety lips and gave the middle of your back one loving kiss before he nodded in agreement. "You're right. Suppose I'll just fuck that cunt now and save the rest for later."
He pulled his boxers down and tapped your clit with the head of his cock. He was already glossy with precum and the mixture of your fluid and his made for a smooth entry. A sharp intake of air through his teeth made you grin. Henry cursed under his breath, his hands gripping your hips before he made any movements. It wasn't the first time he paused upon entry. The man loved to bathe in your warmth; to revel in the tightness he deemed a gift for the years he missed out on over-indulgent sex.
"Tell me," Henry began to shift his hips forward. "If you're such a naughty slut, and you love big cock so much, how is it that your little pussy is still so tight for me?"
"My holes were made for you to fuck, sir," you said without skipping a beat.
He enjoyed your answer and made it known with a low groan that told of his astonishment. When you spoke to him during sex, he couldn't save himself for long. Every word and breath that left you nudged him closer to orgasm. It wasn't just the feeling of being enclosed, it was the show you put on for his viewing pleasure, the corruption that fell from your lips.
"You're a bad, bad man. You love whore pussy."
Lost in his pleasure, he nodded, swatted your bum and tried to slow the hurdle toward the end. Time was slipping, and he knew it in the back of his head, but the pressure around his cock, the wet smacking of skin, your ass bouncing against his pelvis; it was exactly what he craved. Henry almost regretted not saving it for home when you had all the time and privacy possible.
"I'm going to come inside you, and you're going to put your panties on right after, understand, slut?"
"Oh, yes, sir. Anything you want."
"That's right," he panted. "You're a good girl. We're not going to leave a big mess. But we'll know, won't we?"
"Yes, sir."
Instead of another groan, the clap of his hand meeting your ass punctuated the last minute before his entire body tensed. Each muscle contracted, even the ones in his throat and he let loose a choked growl as a blissful jolt of too much pleasure hit him. You clenched around him, tightening as much as you could in order to milk every drop he had to give. There was no time to bask in the afterglow. Henry knew that your ballsy romp in his old bed needed to end as fast as it started.
"Pull those panties up. Get dressed. We should get out of here." Henry hardly caught his breath before he planted one more kiss on the base of your spine and scrambled off the bed.
You listened to him without fuss, grabbing your discarded pants and tugging your shirt down to cover your tummy. He worked on smoothing out the wrinkles in the bedspread and then put his own shirt back on. The fading hickey on his collar was hidden away again, but you knew it was there and that was enough. Just like it was enough to know you had both violated his marital bed.
From the bedroom door to the hallway, you giggled and sighed. Henry promised you an orgasm or three after the rescue was over. He combed his fingers through his hair, stopped dead and took in a sharp gasp of air. Your heart flipped from the cut of his shock through the air.
An old woman with strips of grey hair spiralling into a bun on her head inspected Henry and then you, determining quickly that whatever you did in the master bedroom was nothing short of indecent. She clicked her tongue as Henry stammered over an explanation.
"Loretta, isn't it Thursday? You're not supposed to be here today."
Loretta took another judgmental look at Henry and propped her fist on her hip. "And neither are you, young man."
"Um... Yes, I know. I neededâer, I had to grab something."
"And what might that be, Mr. Henry?"
Gromit appeared right on time and she followed his eyes to the cat strutting down the hallway, unaware of the incredible amount of tension between the three people. You had nothing to say in your defence and settled for toying with the hem of your shirt like a berated child. Loretta leaned over, peering past you at the door to the master bedroom. "Better not have left any sort of mess for me in there, Mr. Henry."
"No, no! Of course not! Loretta... I would never!" Henry's offence was genuine. "It's... Have you met my new assistant?"
"Hi," you peeped.
One of Loretta's eyebrows shot halfway up her forehead. There was no fooling a woman like her, you could tell. She carried herself with the grace of a person that had witnessed many things, and not all of them good. She studied you, nodded her head and pulled an eyeglass cleaning cloth out of a deep pocket in her uniform. With a sigh, she took off her glasses and began to polish the lenses.
"Miss Mary has me come while she's not home. Schedule changed. Less hours now," she informed.
Henry's back straightened. "What? She's giving you fewer hours?"
"Yessir," she nodded.
"I'm sorry, Loretta. I had no idea."
The woman didn't appear fretful over the situation. "It's no matter. More time to spend with my grandkids."
Henry bent down to scoop up Gromit. You saw the first touch of a smile crack over her lips as she placed her glasses back on her nose.
"I'm sure you're aware of what's been going on. Mary and I are getting divorced. I just wanted to gather the rest of my things," Henry gently explained, as though one slip of the tongue might send her into a fit. The woman was stoic though, only undulating a slow nod as your boyfriend revealed the reason for his sudden presence after weeks of being gone.
"Just the cat?" She asked.
"Yes, just Gromit."
Loretta sighed through her nose and you feared she might put her foot down and refuse to let you leave with the cat. Then a wave of mischief crept through the lines of her face and she smiled again. "I'll tell Miss Mary the cat ran out the back door while the kitchen floors were drying. Take that creature away from here and give him love. Lord knows, he needs some since you've been gone, Mr. Henry."
Henry giggled with boyish delight and kissed between Gromit's ears, dancing up to Lorretta to place the same happy smooch on her cheek. "This is why I love you, Loretta. And if you need more hours, call me. I still have the condo."
Loretta pointed at the grandfather clock across from an ornate credenza lining the vast hall. "Miss Mary will be back from her book club in thirty minutes. I suggest you be on the opposite end of town by then."
"Thank you, Lory."
"And girl," Loretta halted you. "Treat Mr. Henry proper. He's a proper man. Respectful. I reckon he deserves some good love."
You chuckled, nerves soothing beneath the warmth of her gaze. "I reckon you're correct, ma'am. I'll do my best."
"Begone now, children."
119 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Paul Mertonâs 36 best jokes and funniest one-liners from Have I Got News for You â iNews
Heâs a mainstay of long-running panel show Have I Got News For You, and now funny-man Paul Merton is on a mission to unearth long-lost ancestors as part of BBC Oneâs Who Do You Think You Are?
To celebrate the quick-quipperâs nearly 40-year career, weâve compiled almost as many of his best jokes and one-liners from his work on HIGNFY and beyond.
âIâm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I canât understand is, if they donât know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?â
Angus Deayton: âAnd did you chat with the Queen Mother?â Paul Merton: âWe talked about you.â Angus Deayton: âNo, you didnât.â Paul Merton: âYes, we did.â Angus Deayton: âWhat did she say about me?â Paul Merton: âIâve never heard such language in all my life.â
âIâll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. Iâve never got over it.â
âIf you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and thereâs no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Donât tell me you havenât done it.â
âI donât consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.â
Ian Hislop: âAnd theyâre behind Theresa May like Stormtroopers!â Paul Merton: âYouâre having one of your turns again, Ian! You asked us to tell you when it happens! His nose bleeds when he has to deal with Popular CultureâŚâ
âI think Iran and Iraq had a war simply because their names are so similar. They keep getting each otherâs post.â
(Photo: BBC)
âEvery story ever writtenâs in the Dictionary! You just have to put the words in the right order.â
âGromit is one of the great silent comedians. Heâs up there with Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. He may even be above them, because heâs still working.â
Sean Lock: âOnly 2% of people go to church in this country.â Paul Merton: âAnd theyâre priests!â
Jacob Rees-Mogg: âWe know the plan! We are going to leave the EU! Brexit means Brexit!â Paul Merton: âThatâs the Aim! Whatâs the plan?â
âMy school days were the happiest days of my life, which should give you some indication of the misery Iâve endured over the past 25 years.â
âAll disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds â I canât stand Noel Edmonds.â
âBono was up on stage saying âEvery time I click my fingers, a child dies!â and someone yelled âWell, stop clicking your fingers, then!ââ
âThe first Underground station ever opened was Baker Street in 1906. What was the point of that? Where would you go?â
[On Chris Evans] âHeâs got the look of a comedian but without the talent or the writing ability or the timing.â
(Photo: Getty)
âOn my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didnât, he said: âDo you mind if I mug you here?ââ
Clive Anderson: âDo you still live in Islington as well, Boris?â Boris Johnson: âPartly, yes.â Paul Merton: âI donât think you live on the planet Earth, never mind Islington!â
âItâs amazing how many people think theyâve got dignity to lose, isnât it?â
[On the Queen at Harry and Meghanâs reception] âSheâll have a footman chucking cheesy Wotsits at her.â
âAm I the only one whoâs always tempted to light the wick on top of a beret?â
âMy aunt died at precisely 10.47am and the old grandfather clock stopped at precisely the same time also. It fell on her.â
âAnne Widdecombe is the Odd One Out because sheâs the only one holding a Decapitated Barn Owl.â
âThere are various ways to give up smoking â nicotine patches, nicotine gum. My auntie used to pour a gallon of petrol over herself every morning.â
Frankie Boyle: âA new Superbreed of Sex-Mad, Sleepless Slugs has arrived from Spain.â Paul Merton: âAh, an Alliterative Threat!â
(Photo: BBC)
âMy hairâs got a life of its own. Last week I found it in the kitchen, making an omeletteâŚâ
[On reading the A to Z] âCanât wait to see what happens at the end. The characters arenât up to much but the places, they seem so real.â
âI used to go out with a giraffe. Used to take it to the pictures and that. Youâd always get some bloke complaining that he couldnât see the screen. Itâs a giraffe, mate. What do you expect? âWell he can take his hat off for a start!ââ
âMugabe is a Yorkshireman in reverse. Because his name is Ee by gum backwards. 37 years waiting for that laughâŚâ
âYouâve heard of Sheep gambolling in the meadows, well it was Poker they were playing!â
Paul Merton: âHe doesnât look old enough to have been a Milkman for 50 years!â Host: âThey start them very young there. As soon as you can reach the udder, youâre away.â Paul Merton: âThatâs not just Milkmen. For many people, thatâs a good night out!â
âItâs silly to make generalisations, but if you talk to anyone in the south for longer than five minutes, they will try to sell you fruit.â
Paul Merton: âThere are other reasons for squinting in bed, of course.â Angus Deayton: âSuch as?â Paul Merton: âUse your imagination, Angus! Weâd send out a search party for it, but theyâd never come back!â
âMichael Gove! That is how a man dresses when his wife doesnât see him leaving the house.â
(Photo: BBC)
Host: âBut who would have loved to have been there? Justin Oâ Schmidt!â Paul Merton: âDid the vicar drop him at the Baptism?â
âIâve never been disappointed by politicians. Iâve never invested that much in them in the first place.â
More jokes:
38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedianâs funniest jokes and quotes 34 of the best Valentineâs Day jokes and funniest one-liners 30 of Michael McIntyreâs best jokes and funniest one-liners Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimerâs 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May 25 of Dara Ă Briainâs best jokes and funniest quotes 38 of the funniest Russell Howard jokes The 28 funniest Greg Davies jokes and quotes The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 35 of the funniest jokes by Northern comedians The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) 26 of Seann Walshâs greatest jokes 16 of Barry Chuckleâs greatest jokes 34 of Lee Evansâ funniest jokes and quotes 30 of Romesh Ranganathanâs funniest jokes and quotes 26 of Sara Pascoeâs funniest jokes and quotes 41 of Eddie Izzardâs funniest jokes and quotes 41 of David Mitchellâs funniest jokes and quotes 21 of Rhod Gilbertâs funniest jokes and one-liners 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes 41 of Stewart Francisâ most ingenious jokes and one-liners 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians 30 of Jack Whitehallâs funniest jokes 43 of the funniest Donald Trump jokes 100 pun-based jokes that will make you laugh and cringe 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds 105 of the best bad jokes 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners 50 football jokes to make you laugh â or groan 100 of the best jokes for kids that are actually funny 25 of Peter Kayâs most ingenious jokes and one-liners 26 of Stewart Leeâs most gloriously acerbic jokes 49 of Monty Pythonâs funniest jokes 45 of Ricky Gervaisâ funniest jokes 17 of Ken Doddâs most ingeniously funny jokes 27 of Sarah Millicanâs laugh out loud jokes 50 of Jimmy Carrâs funniest jokes and one-liners 50 of Milton Jonesâs most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Tim Vineâs most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Frankie Boyleâs funniest (and darkest) jokes 25 of Charlie Brookerâs most cutting jokes and insults 25 of Lee Mackâs wittiest jokes and one-liners 75 of Billy Connollyâs best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland â from Scotland
And some hilarious quotes:
29 best Gavin and Stacey quotes and funniest jokes from James Corden and Ruth Jonesâ comedy 38 of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes that made Parks and Recreation unmissable 31 Richard Madeley quotes, gaffes and surreal moments that prove he truly is Alan Partridge Valentineâs poems: 32 most romantic quotes from historyâs greatest poets 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death 30 of Stephen Fryâs funniest jokes and quotes Burt Reynoldsâ greatest quotes â remembering the actorâs wit and wisdom following his death aged 82 23 of Outnumberedâs funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) 35 of Blackadderâs most cunning quips and insults 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes 25 of Rik Mayallâs greatest quotes 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier 25 of the most âtextbookâ Alan Partridge quotes 50 of the best lines from Peep Show 20 of The Young Onesâ most gloriously silly quotes
Letâs block ads! (Why?)
Source link
BĂ i viáşżt Paul Mertonâs 36 best jokes and funniest one-liners from Have I Got News for You â iNews ÄĂŁ xuẼt hiáťn Äầu tiĂŞn vĂ o ngĂ y Funface.
from Funface https://funface.net/funny-quotes/paul-mertons-36-best-jokes-and-funniest-one-liners-from-have-i-got-news-for-you-inews/
3 notes
¡
View notes
Text
2018 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)
30.  MANDY â easily the weirdest shit I saw in 2018, this 2-hour-plus fever dream fantasy horror is essentially an extended prog-rock video with added âplotâ from Beyond the Black Rainbow director Panos Cosmatos. Saying that by the end of it I was left feeling exhausted, brain-fried and more than a little weirded-out might not seem like much of a recommendation, but this is, in fact, a truly transformative viewing experience, a film destined for MASSIVE future cult status. Playing like the twisted love-child of David Lynch and Don Coscarelli, it (sort of) tells the story of lumberjack Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) and his illustrator girlfriend Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough), who have an idyllic life in the fantastically fictional Shadow Mountains circa 1983 ⌠at least until Mandy catches the eye of Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache), the thoroughly insane leader of twisted doomsday cult the Children of the New Dawn, who employs nefarious, supernatural means to acquire her.  But Mandy spurns his advances, leading to a horrific retribution that spurs Red, a traumatised war veteran, to embark on a genuine roaring rampage of revenge.  Largely abandoning plot and motivation for mood, emotion and some seriously trippy visuals, this is an elemental, transcendental film, a series of deeply weird encounters and nightmarish set-pieces that fuel a harrowing descent into a particularly alien, Lovecraftian kind of hell, Cosmatos shepherding in one breathtaking sequence after another with the aid of skilled cinematographer Benjamin Loeb, a deeply inventive design team (clearly drawing inspiration from the artwork of late-70s/early 80s heavy metal albums) and a thoroughly tricked-out epic tone-poem of a score from the late JĂ´han JĂ´hannsson (Sicario, Arrival, Mother!), as well as one seriously game cast.  Cage is definitely on crazy-mode here, initially playing things cool and internalised until the savage beast within is set loose by tragedy, chewing scenery to shreds like thereâs no tomorrow, while Riseborough is sweet, gentle and inescapably DOOMED; Roach, meanwhile, is a thoroughly nasty piece of work, an entitled, delusional narcissist thoroughly convinced of his own massive cosmic importance, and thereâs interesting support from a raft of talented character actors such as Richard Brake, Ned Dennehy and Bill Duke.  This is some brave, ambitious filmmaking, and a stunning breakthrough for one of the weirdest and most unique talents Iâve stumbled across a good while.  Cosmatos is definitely one to watch.
29.  THE GIRL IN THE SPIDERâS WEB â back in 2011, David Fincherâs adaptation of Stieg Larssonâs runaway bestseller The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo became one of my very favourite screen thrillers EVER, a stone-cold masterpiece and, in my opinion, the superior version of the story even though a very impression Swedish version had broken out in a major way the year before. My love for the film was coloured, however, by frustration at its cinematic underperformance, which meant that Fincherâs planned continuation of the series with Millennium Trilogy sequels The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornetâs Nest would likely never see the light of day. Even so, the fan in me held out hope, however fragile, that we might just get lucky.  Seven years later, we have FINALLY been rewarded for our patience, but not exactly in the fashion weâve been hoping for ⌠Fincherâs out, Evil Dead-remake and Donât Breathe writer-director Fede Alvarez is in, and instead of continuing the saga in the logical place the makers of this new film chose the baffling route of a âsoft rebootâ via adapting the FOURTH Millennium book, notable for being the one released AFTER Larssonâs death, penned by David Lagercrantz, which is set AFTER the original Trilogy. Thing is, the actually end result, contrary to many opinions, is actually pretty impressive â this is a leaner, more fast-paced affair than its predecessor, a breathless suspense thriller that rattles along at quite a clip as weâre drawn deeper into Larssonâs dark, dangerous and deeply duplicitous world and treating fans to some top-notch action sequences, from a knuckle-whitening tech-savvy car chase to a desperate, bone-crunching fight in a gas-filled room.  Frustratingly, the âoriginalâ Lisbeth Salander, Rooney Mara, is absent (despite remaining VERY enthusiastic about returning to the role), but The Crownâs Claire Foy is almost as good â the spiky, acerbic and FIERCELY independent prodigious super-hacker remains as brooding, socially-awkward, emotionally complex and undeniably compelling as ever, the same queen of screen badasses I fell in love with nearly a decade ago.  Her investigative journalist friend/occasional lover Mikael Blomkvist is, annoyingly, less well served â Borg Vs McEnroe star Sverrir Gudnasson is charismatic and certainly easy on the eyes, but heâs FAR too young for the role (seriously, heâs only a week older than I am) and at times winds up getting relegated to passive observer status when heâs not there simply to guide the plot forward; weâre better served by the supporting cast, from Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out, Sorry to Bother You) as a mysterious NSA security expert (I know!) to another surprisingly serious turn (after Logan) from The Officeâs Stephen Merchant as the reclusive software designer who created the world-changing computer program that spearheads the filmâs convoluted plot, and thereâs a fantastically icy performance from Blade Runner 2049âs Sylvia Hoeks as Camilla Salander, Lisbethâs estranged twin sister and psychopathic head of the Spiders, the powerful criminal network once controlled by their monstrous father (The Hobbitâs Mikael Persbrandt).  The film is far from perfect â the plot kind runs away with the story at times, while several supposedly key characters are given frustratingly little development or screen-time â but Alvarez keeps things moving along with typical skill and precision and maintains a tense, unsettling atmosphere throughout, while there are frequently moments of pure genius on display in the script by Alvarez, his regular collaborator Jay Basu and acclaimed screenwriter Steven Knight (Dirty Pretty Things, Locke) â the original novel wasnât really all that great, but by just taking the bare bones of the plot and crafting something new and original theyâve improved things considerably.  The finished product thrills and rewards far more than it frustrates, and leaves the series in good shape for continuation.  With a bit of luck this time it might do well enough that weâll finally get those other two movies to plug the gap between this and Fincherâs âoriginalâ âŚ
28. Â ISLE OF DOGS â I am a MASSIVE fan of the films of Wes Anderson. Â Three share placement in my all-time favourite screen comedies list â Grand Budapest Hotel, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou and, of course, The Royal Tenebaums (which perches high up in my TOP TEN) â and itâs always a pleasure when a new one comes out. Â 2009âs singular stop-motion gem Fantastic Mr Fox showed just how much fun his uniquely quirky sense of humour and pleasingly skewed world-view could be when transferred into an animated family film setting, so itâs interesting that it took him nearly a decade to repeat the exercise, but the labour of love is writ large upon this dark and delicious fable of dystopian future Japanese city Megasaki, where an epidemic of âdog fluâ prompts totalitarian Mayor Kobayashi (voiced by Kunichi Nomura) to issue an edict banishing all of the cityâs canine residents to nearby Trash Island. Six months later, Kobayashiâs nephew Atari (newcomer Koyu Rankin) steals a ridiculously tiny plane and crash-lands on Trash Island, intent on rescuing his exiled bodyguard-dog Spots (Liev Schreiber); needless to say this is easier said than done, unforeseen circumstances leading a wounded Atari to enlist the help of a pack of badass âalpha dogsâ voiced by Anderson regulars â Rex (Edward Norton), King (Bob Balaban), Boss (Bill Murray) and Duke (Jeff Goldblum) â and nominally led by crabby, unrepentantly bitey stray Chief (Bryan Cranston), to help him find his lost dog in the dangerous wilds of the island. Â Needless to say this is as brilliantly odd as weâve come to expect from Anderson, a perfectly pitched, richly flavoured concoction of razor sharp wit, meticulously crafted characters and immersive beauty. Â The cast are, as always, excellent, from additional regulars such as Frances McDormand, Harvey Keitel and F. Murray Abraham to new voices like Greta Gerwig, Scarlett Johansson, Ken Watanabe and Courtney B. Vance, but the filmâs true driving force is Cranston and Rankin, the reluctant but honest relationship that forms between Chief and Atari providing the story with a deep, resonant emotional core. Â The first rate animation really helps â the exemplary stop-motion makes the already impressive art of Mr Fox seem clunky and rudimentary (think the first Wallace & Gromit short A Grand Day Out compared to their movie Curse of the Were-Rabbit), each character rendered with such skill they seem to be breathing on their own, and Andersonâs characteristic visual flair is on full display, the Japanese setting lending a rich, exotic tang to the compositions, especially in the deeply inventive environs of Trash Island. Â Funny, evocative, heartfelt and fiendishly clever, this is one of those rare screen gems that deserves to be returned to again and again, and itâs definitely another masterpiece from one of the most unique filmmakers working today.
27.  VENOM â when Sam Raimiâs Spider-Man saga came to a rather clunky end back in 2007, it felt like a case of too many villains spoiling the rumble, and it was pretty clear that the inclusion of bad-boy reporter Eddie Brock and his dark alter ego was the straw that broke that particular camelâs back.  Venom didnât even show up proper until almost three quarters of the way through the movie, by which time it was very much a case of too-little-too-late, and many fans (myself included) resented the decidedly Darth Maul-esque treatment of one of the most iconic members of Marvelâs roguesâ gallery.  Itâs taken more than a decade for Marvel to redress the balance, even longer than with Deadpool, and, like with the Merc With a Mouth, they decided the only way was a no-holds-barred, R-rated take that could really let the beast loose. Has it worked?  Well ⌠SORT OF.  In truth, the finished article feels like a bit of a throwback, recalling the pre-MCU days when superhero movies were more about pure entertainment without making us think too much, just good old-fashioned popcorn fodder, but in this case thatâs not a bad thing.  Itâs big, loud, dumb fun, hardly a masterpiece but it does its job admirably well, and it has one hell of a secret weapon at its disposal â Tom Hardy. PERFECTLY cast as morally ambiguous underdog investigative journalist Eddie Brock, he deploys the kind of endearingly sleazy, shit-eating charm that makes you root for him even when he acts like a monumental prick, while really letting rip with some seriously twitchy, sometimes downright FEROCIOUS unhinged craziness once he becomes the unwilling host for a sentient parasitic alien symbiote with a hunger for living flesh and a seriously bad attitude.  This is EASILY one of the best performances Hardyâs ever delivered, and he entrances us in every scene, whether understated or explosive, making even the most outlandish moments of Brockâs unconventional relationship with Venom seem, if not perfectly acceptable, then at least believable.  Heâs ably supported by Michelle Williams as San Francisco district attorney Anne Weying, his increasingly exasperated ex-fiancĂŠe, Rogue Oneâs Riz Ahmed as Carlton Drake, the seemingly idealistic space-exploration-funding philanthropist whose darker ambitions have brought a lethal alien threat to Earth, and Parks & Recreationâs Jenny Slate as Drakeâs conflicted head scientist Nora Skirth, while thereâs a very fun cameo from a particularly famous face in the now ubiquitous mid-credits sting that promises great things in the future.  Director Ruben Fleischer brought us Zombieland and 30 Minutes Or Less, so he certainly knows how to deliver plenty of blackly comic belly laughs, and he brings plenty of seriously dark humour to the fore, the rating meaning the comedy can get particularly edgy once Venom starts to tear up the town; it also fulfils the Marvel prerequisite of taking its action quota seriously, delivering a series of robust set-pieces (the standout being a spectacular bike chase through the streets of San Fran, made even more memorable by the symbioteâs handy powers). Best of all, the film isnât afraid to get genuinely scary with some seriously nasty alien-induced moments of icky body horror, captured by some strangely beautiful effects works that brings Venom and his ilk to vivid, terrifying life.  Flawed as it is, this is still HUGE fun, definitely one of the yearâs biggest cinematic guilty pleasures, and I for one canât wait to see more from the character in the near future, which, given what a massive success the film has already proven at the box office, seems an ironclad certainty.
26. Â SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY â the second of Disneyâs new phase of Star Wars movies to feature in the non-trilogy-based spinoff series had a rough time after its release â despite easily recouping its production budget, it still lost the $100-million+ it spent on advertising, while it was met with extremely mixed reviews and shunned by many hardcore fans. Â Iâll admit that I too was initially disappointed with this second quasi prequel to A New Hope (after the MUCH more impressive Rogue One), but a second, more open-minded viewing after a few months to ruminate mellowed my experience considerably, the film significantly growing on me. Â An origin story for the Galaxyâs most lovable rogue was always going to be a hard sell â Han Solo is an enjoyable enigma in The Original Trilogy, someone who lives very much in the present, his origins best revealed in the little details we glean about him in passing â but while itâs a flawed creation, this interstellar heist adventure mostly pulls off what was intended. Â Like many fans of The Lego Movie, I remain deeply curious about what original director duo Phil Lord and Chris Miller could have achieved with the material, but I wholeheartedly approved Disneyâs replacement choice when he was announced â Ron Howard is one of my favourite âhit-and-missâ directors, someone whoâs made some clunkers in his time (The Da Vinci Code, weâre looking at you) but can, on a good day, be relied on to deliver something truly special (Willow is one of my VERY FAVOURITE movies from my childhood, one thatâs stood up well to the test of time, and a strong comparison point for this; Apollo 13 and Rush, meanwhile, are undeniable MASTERPIECES), and in spite of its shortcomings Iâm ultimately willing to consider this one of his successes. Another big step in the right direction was casting Hail, Caesar! star Alden Ehrenreich in the title role â Harrison Fordâs are seriously huge shoes to fill, but this talented young man has largely succeeded. Â He may not quite capture that wonderful growling drawl but he definitely got Hanâs cocky go-getter swagger right, heâs particularly strong in the filmâs more humorous moments, and he has charisma to burn, so he sure makes entertaining viewing. Â It also helps that the film has such a strong supporting cast â with original Chewbacca Peter Mayhew getting too old for all this derring-do nonsense, former pro basketball-player Joonas Suotamo gets a little more comfortable in his second gig (after The Last Jedi) in the âwalking carpetâ suit, while Woody Harrelson adds major star power as Tobias Beckett, Hanâs likeably slippery mentor in all things criminal in the Star Wars Universe, and Game of Thronesâ Emilia Clarke is typically excellent as Hanâs first love Qiâra, a fellow Corellian street orphan whoâs grown up into a sophisticated thief of MUCH higher calibre than her compatriots. Â The film is dominated, however, by two particularly potent scene-stealing turns which make you wonder if itâs really focused on the right rogueâs story â Community star Donald Glover exceeds all expectations as Hanâs old âfriendâ Lando Calrissian, every bit the laconic smoothie he was when he was played by Billy Dee Williams back in the day, while his droid companion L3-37 (voiced with flawless comic skill by British stage and sitcom actress Phoebe Waller-Bridge) frequently walks away with the film entirely, a weirdly flirty and lovably militant campaigner for droid rights whose antics cause a whole heap of trouble. Â The main thing the film REALLY lacks is a decent villain â Paul Bettanyâs oily kingpin Dryden Voss is distinctive enough to linger in the memory, but has criminally short screen-time and adds little real impact or threat to the main story, only emphasising the filmâs gaping, Empire-shaped hole. Â Even so, itâs still a ripping yarn, a breathlessly exciting and frequently VERY funny space-hopping crime caper that relishes that wonderful gritty, battered old tech vibe weâve come to love throughout the series as a whole and certainly delivers on the action stakes â the vertigo-inducing train heist sequence is easily the filmâs standout set-piece, but the opening chase and the long-touted Kessel Run impress too â it only flags in the frustrating and surprisingly sombre final act. Â The end result still has the MAKINGS of a classic, and thereâs no denying itâs also more enjoyable and deep-down SATISFYING than the first two films in George Lucasâ far more clunky Prequel Trilogy. Â Rogue One remains the best of the new Star Wars movies so far, but this is nothing like the disappointment itâs been made out to be.
25.  AQUAMAN â the fortunes of the DC Extended Universe cinematic franchise continue to fluctuate â these films may be consistently successful at the box office, but theyâre a decidedly mixed bag when it comes to their quality and critical opinion, and the misses still outweigh the hits.  Still, you canât deny that when they DO do things right, they do them VERY right â 2017âs acclaimed Wonder Woman was a long-overdue validation for the studio, and theyâve got another winner on their hands with this bold, brash, VERY ballsy solo vehicle for one of the things that genuinely WORKED in the so-so Justice League movie.  Jason Momoa isnât just muscular in the physical sense, once again proving seriously ripped in the performance capacity as he delivers rough, grizzled charm and earthy charisma as half-Atlantean Arthur Curry, called upon to try and win back the royal birthright he once gave up when his half-brother Prince Orm (Watchmenâs Patrick Wilson), ruler of Atlantis, embarks on a brutal quest to unite the seven underwater kingdoms under his command in order to wage war on the surface world.  Aquaman has long been something of an embarrassment for DC Comics, an unintentional âgay jokeâ endlessly derided by geeks (particularly cuttingly in the likes of The Big Bang Theory), but in Momoaâs capable hands that opinion has already started to shift, and the transition should be complete after this â Arthur Curry is now a swarthy, hard-drinking alpha male tempered with a compellingly relatable edge of deep-seeded vulnerability derived from the inherent tragedy of his origins and separation from the source of his immense superhuman strength, and heâs the perfect flawed action hero for this most epic of superhero blockbusters.  Amber Heard is frequently as domineering a presence as Atlantean princess Mera, a powerful warrior in her own right and fully capable of heading her own standalone adventure someday, and Wilson makes for a very solid and decidedly sympathetic villain whose own motivations can frequently be surprisingly seductive, even if his methods are a good deal more nefarious, while The Get Downâs Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is more down-and-dirty BAD as David Kane, aka the Black Manta, a lethally tech-savvy pirate who has a major score to settle with the Aquaman; thereâs also strong support from the likes of Willem Dafoe as Curryâs sage-like mentor Vulko, Dolph Lundgren as Meraâs father, King Nereus, the ever-reliable Temuera Morrison as Arthurâs father Thomas, and Nicole Kidman as his ill-fated mother Atlanna.  Director James Wan is best known for establishing horror franchises (Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring), but he showed he could do blockbuster action cinema with Fast & Furious 7, and heâs improved significantly with this, delivering one gigantic action sequence after another with consummate skill and flair as well as performing some magnificent and extremely elegant world-building, unveiling dazzling, opulent and exotic undersea civilizations that are the equal to the forests of Pandora in Avatar, but he also gets to let some of his darker impulses show here and there, particularly in a genuinely scary visit to the hellish world of the Trench and its monstrous denizens.  It may not be QUITE as impressive as Wonder Woman, and it still suffers (albeit only a little bit) from the seemingly inherent flaws of the DCEU franchise as a whole (particularly in yet another overblown CGI-cluttered climax), but this is still another big step back in the right direction, one which, once again, we can only hope theyâll continue to repeat.  Iâll admit that the next offering, Shazam, doesnât fill me with much confidence, but you never know, it could surprise us.  And thereâs still Flashpoint, The Batman and Birds of Prey to come âŚ
24.  THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI â filmmaker brothers Martin and John Michael McDonagh have carved an impressive niche in cinematic comedy this past decade, from decidedly Irish breakout early works (In Bruges from Martin and The Guard and Calvary from John) to enjoyable outsider-looking-in American crim-coms (Martinâs Seven Psychopaths and Johnâs War On Everyone), and so far theyâve all had one thing in common â theyâre all BRILLIANT.  But Martin looks set to be the first brother to be truly accepted into Hollywood Proper, with his latest feature garnering universal acclaim, massive box office and heavyweight Awards recognition, snagging an impressive SEVEN Oscar nominations and taking home two, as well as landing a Golden Globe and BAFTA for Best Picture.  Itâs also the most thoroughly AMERICAN McDonagh film to date, and this is no bad thing, Martin shedding his decidedly Celtic flavours for an edgier Redneck charm that perfectly suits the material ⌠but most important of all, from a purely critical point of view this could be the very BEST film either of the brothers has made to date.  Itâs as blackly comic and dark-of-soul as weâd expect from the creator of In Bruges, but thereâs real heart and tenderness hidden amongst the expletive-riddled, barbed razor wit and mercilessly observed, frequently lamentable character beats.  Frances McDormand thoroughly deserved her Oscar win for her magnificent performance as Mildred Hayes, a take-no-shit shopkeeper in the titular town whose unbridled grief over the brutal rape and murder of her daughter Angela (Kathryn Newton) has been exacerbated by the seeming inability of the local police force to solve the crime, leading her to hire the ongoing use of a trio of billboards laying the blame squarely at the feet of popular, long-standing local police Chief Bill Willoughby (Woody Harrelson). Needless to say this kicks up quite the shitstorm in the town, but Mildred stands resolute in the face of seemingly overwhelming odds, refusing to back down.  McDormand has never been better â Mildred is a foul-mouthed, opinionated harpy who tells it like it is, no matter who sheâs talking to, but thereâs understandable pain driving her actions, and a surprisingly tender heart beating under all that thorniness; Harrelson, meanwhile, is by turns a gruff shit-kicker and a gentle, doting family man, silently suffering over his own helplessness with the dead end the case seems to have turned into.  The filmâs other Oscar-winner, Sam Rockwell, also delivers his finest performance to date as Officer Jason Dixon, a true disgrace of a cop whose permanent drunkenness has marred a career which, it turns out, began with some promise; heâs a thuggish force-of-nature, Mildredâs decidedly ineffectual nemesis whose own equally foul-mouthed honesty is set to dump him in trouble big time, but again thereâs a deeply buried vein of well-meaning ambition under all the bigotry and pigheadedness we canât help rooting for once it reveals itself.  Thereâs strong support from some serious heavyweights, particularly John Hawkes, Caleb Landry Jones, Peter Dinklage, Abbie Cornish and Manchester By the Seaâs breakout star Lucas Hedges, while McDonagh deserves every lick of acclaim and recognition heâs received for his precision-engineered screenplay, peerless direction and crisp, biting dialogue, crafting a jet black comedy nonetheless packed with so much emotional heft that itâll have you laughing your arse off but crying your eyes out just as hard.  An honest, unapologetic winner, then.
23.  RED SPARROW â just when you thought weâd seen the last of the powerhouse blockbuster team of director Francis Lawrence and star Jennifer Lawrence with the end of The Hunger Games, they reunite for this far more adult literary feature, bringing Jason Matthewsâ labyrinthine spy novel to bloody life.  Adapted by Revolutionary Road screenwriter Justin Haythe, it follows the journey of Russian star ballerina Dominika Egorova (Lawrence) into the shadowy world of post-Glasnost Russian Intelligence after an on-stage accident ruins her career.  Trained to use her body and mind to seduce her targets, Dominika becomes a âSparrowâ, dispatched to Budapest to entrap disgraced CIA operative Nate Nash (Joel Edgerton) and discover the identity of the deep cover double agent in Moscow he was forced to burn his own cover to protect.  But Dominika never wanted any of this, and she begins to plot her escape, no matter the risks ⌠as weâve come to expect, Jennifer Lawrence is magnificent, her glacial beauty concealing a fierce intelligence and deeply guarded desperation to get out, her innate sensuality rendered clinical by the raw, unflinching gratuity of her training and seduction scenes â this is a woman who uses ALL the weapons at her disposal to get what she needs, and itâs an icy professionalism that informs and somewhat forgives Lawrenceâs relative lack of chemistry with Edgerton.  Not that itâs his fault â Nate is nearly as compelling a protagonist as Dominika, a roguish chancer whose impulsiveness could prove his undoing, but also makes him likeable and charming enough for us to root for him too.  Bullheadâs Matthias Schoenarts is on top form as the filmâs nominal villain, Dominikaâs uncle Ivan, the man who trapped her in this hell in the first place, Charlotte Rampling is beyond cold as the âMatronâ, the cruel headmistress of the Sparrow School, Joely Richardson is probably the gentlest, purest ray of light in the film as Dominikaâs ailing mother Nina, and Jeremy Irons radiates stately gravitas as high-ranking intelligence officer General Vladimir Andreievich Korchnoi.  This is a tightly-paced, piano wire-taut thriller with a suitably twisty plot that constantly wrong-foots the viewer, Lawrence the director again showing consummate skill at weaving flawlessly effective narrative with scenes of such unbearable tension youâll find yourself perched on the edge of your seat throughout.  Itâs a much less explosive film than weâre used to from him â most of the fireworks are of the acting variety â but there are moments when the tension snaps, always with bloody consequences, especially in the filmâs standout sequence featuring a garrotte-driven interrogation that turns particularly messy.  The end result is a dark thriller of almost unbearable potency that you canât take your eyes off.  Hereâs hoping this isnât the last time Lawrence & Lawrence work together âŚ
22. Â WIDOWS â Steve McQueen is one of the most challenging writer-directors working in Hollywood today, having exploded onto the scene with hard-hitting IRA-prison-biopic Hunger and subsequently adding to his solid cache of acclaimed works with Shame and 12 Years a Slave, but thereâs a strong argument to be made that THIS is his best film to date. Co-adapted from a cult TV-series from British thriller queen Lynda La Plante by Gone Girl and Sharp Objects-author Gillian Flynn, it follows a group of women forced to band together to plan and execute a robbery in order to pay off the perceived debt incurred by their late husbands, who died trying to steal $2 million from Jamal Manning (If Beale Street Could Talkâs Brian Tyree Henry), a Chicago crime boss with ambitions to go legit as alderman of the cityâs South Side Precinct. Â Viola Davis dominates the film as Veronica Rawlings, the educated and fiercely independent wife of accomplished professional thief Harry (a small but potent turn from Liam Neeson), setting the screen alight with a barely restrained and searing portrayal of devastating grief and righteous anger, and is ably supported by a trio of equally overwhelming performances from Michelle Rodriguez as hard-pressed mother and small-businesswoman Linda Perelli, The Man From UNCLEâs Elizabeth Debicki as Alice Gunner, an abused widow struggling to find her place in the world now sheâs been cut off from her only support-mechanism, and Bad Times At the El Royaleâs Cynthia Eriyo as Belle, the tough, gutsy beautician/babysitter the trio enlist to help them once they realise they need a fourth member. Â Henry is a deceptively subtle, thoroughly threatening presence throughout the film as Manning, as is Get Outâs Daniel Kaluuya as his thuggish brother/lieutenant Jatemme, and Colin Farrell is seemingly decent but ultimately fatally flawed as his direct political rival, reigning alderman Jack Mulligan, while there are uniformly excellent supporting turns from the likes of Robert Duvall, Carrie Coon, Lukas Haas, Jon Bernthal and Kevin J. OâConnor. Â McQueen once again delivers an emotionally exhausting and effortlessly powerful tour-de-force, wringing out the maximum amount of feels from the loaded and deeply personal human interactions on display throughout, and once again proves just as effective at delivering on the emotional fireworks as he is in stirring our blood in some brutal set-pieces, while Flynn help to deliver another perfectly pitched, intricately crafted script packed with exquisite dialogue and shrewdly observed character work which is sure to net her some major wins come Awards season. Â Unflinching and devastating but thoroughly exhilarating, this is an extraordinary film (and if this was a purely critical list it would surely have placed A LOT higher), thoroughly deserving of every bit of praise, attention and success it has and will go on to garner. Â An absolute must-see.
21. Â JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM â Colin Trevorrowâs long-awaited 2015 Jurassic Park sequel was a major shot in the arm for a killer blockbuster franchise that had been somewhat flagging since Steven Spielberg brought dinosaurs back to life for the second time, but (edgier tone aside) it was not quite the full-on game-changer some thought it would be. Â The fifth film, directed by J.A. Bayona (The Impossible, A Monster Calls) and written by Trevorrow and his regular script-partner Derek Connolly (Safety Not Guaranteed and JW, as well as Warner Brosâ recent âMonsterverseâ landmark Kong: Skull Island), redresses the balance â while the first act of the film once again returns to the Costa Rican island of Isla Nublar, itâs become a very different environment from the one weâve so far experienced, and a fiendish plot-twist means the film then takes a major swerve into MUCH darker territory than weâve seen so far. Â Giving away anything more does a disservice to the seriesâ most interesting story to date, needless to say this is EASILY the franchiseâs strongest feature since the first, and definitely the scariest. Â Hollywoodâs most unusual everyman action hero, Chris Pratt, returns as raptor wrangler Owen Brady, enlisted to help rescue as many dinosaurs as possible from an impending, cataclysmic volcanic eruption, but in particular his deeply impressive trained raptor Blue, now the last of her kind; Bryce Dallas Howard is also back as former Jurassic World operations manager turned eco-campaigner Claire Dearing, and her His Girl Friday-style dynamic with Prattâs Brady is brought to life with far greater success here, their chemistry far more convincing because Claire has become a much more well-rounded and believably tough lady, now pretty much his respective equal. Â There are also strong supporting turns from the likes of Rafe Spall, The Get Downâs Justice Smith, The Vampire Diaries/The Originalsâ breakout star Daniella Pineda, the incomparable Ted Levine (particularly memorable as scummy mercenary Ken Wheatley) and genuine screen legend James Cromwell, but as usual the filmâs true stars are the dinosaurs themselves â itâs a real pleasure seeing Blue return because the last velociraptor was an absolute treat in Jurassic World, but sheâs clearly met her match in this filmâs new Big Bad, the Indoraptor, a lethally monstrous hybrid cooked up in Ingenâs labs as a living weapon. Â Bayona cut his teeth on breakout feature The Orphanage, so heâs got major cred as an accomplished horror director, and he uses that impressive talent to great effect here, weaving an increasingly potent atmosphere of wire-taut dread and delivering some nerve-shredding set-pieces, particularly the intense and moody extended stalk-and-kill stretch that brings the final act to its knuckle-whitening climax. Â Itâs not just scary, though â thereâs still plenty of that good old fashioned wonder and savage beauty weâve come to expect from the series, and another hefty dose of that characteristic Spielbergian humour (Pratt in particular shines in another goofy, self-deprecating turn, while Smith steals many of the filmâs biggest laughs as twitchy, out-of-his-comfort-zone tech wizard Franklin). Â Throw in another stirring and epic John Williams-channelling score from Michael Giacchino and this is an all-round treat for the franchise faithful and blockbuster fans in general â EASILY the best shape the series has been in for some time, it shows HUGE promise for the future.
#mandy#the girl in the spider's web#isle of dogs#venom#solo a star wars story#aquaman#three billboards movie#red sparrow#widows#jurassic world fallen kingdom#2018 in movies
2 notes
¡
View notes
Text
The Curse of the Were-ED [An Ed, Edd n Eddy Crossover]
Note: Wallace and Gromit The Curse of the Were Rabbit was one of my FAVORITE movies growing up as a kid. The cheese scene from the end of the movie was one of my most favorite scenes in the world. So of course, I had to do an Ed, Edd n Eddy crossover. Enjoy!
Returning to the electronics tent after leading all the cul-de-sac kids away, Eddy smiled in victory. Bro would soon learn his lesson. And did everyone really fall for the fakest looking bunny rabbit costume ever? Heâd always have a laugh at this memory.
âEddyâŚâ Edâs voice called to him.
Eddyâs smile immediately disappeared. His heart dropped into his stomach.
Closing the tent drapes Eddy quickly walked over and fell to his knees leaning over Edd who was still in his were rabbit form. He was so immense whenever he stood, towering over everyone like a giant. That wasnât any different from when he was in human form.
He comfortingly pet his soft fur, soothing him. Eddy wanted to joke how Edd turned into a pet, but Edd struggled to keep his eyes open and was clearly in a lot of pain. His fragile state broke Eddyâs heart further, increasing his worry.
âIs he okay?â May asked, standing away from the scene not certain she should approach the friends. This was their moment after all. Her wrecked party was the least of her concern. Her mom and sisters rented out the biggest hall in Peach Creek just for the sake of her eighteenth birthday. She added in the vegetable competition portion just for fun. But, did it only lead to danger?
âDouble Dee, you okay?â Eddy asked softly, stroking his furry face. Edd was unable to respond due to his rabbit form. He did however know what others said to him.
Eddy wanted to say so much. First tell Edd that his mind-o-matic was the most dangerous invention he ever thought up and to thank him for saving his own life. But he wanted to confess something very important that he knew Edd was trying to say before he was rendered speechless.
Edd struggled to keep his eyes open, muttering little sounds. It hurt for him to speak or move. Eddy just shushed him placing a hand against his heart. The rabbit stared down at the placement.
A tear rolled down Eddyâs cheek, staring into Eddâs bleary green eyes. He was there. It didnât matter that he was a rabbit. What mattered was that he was there.
âYouâre gonna be okay, sockhead,â Eddy said to Edd, his voice cracking, failing him.
The rabbit smiled crookedly.
But then closed his eyes, his head falling to the ground.
Eddy starred in utter shock, along with Ed.
Before they knew it a ray of sparkles appeared and then beams of light traveled over its body slowly transforming back into Edd. Eddy watched, never taking his eyes off or even blinking. He shook as his throat tightened up.
Finally, Edd was back to his normal self as the beams of light disappeared, flying out from the tent as if they were spirits.
Eddy was afraid to even touch his best friend. Edd lied motionless, his eyes closed. It looked as if he were sleeping but the rise and fall of his chest was barely visible. Eddy waited in painful minutes waiting for any sign of life.
âDouble Dee?â Eddy asked, his voice cracking.
Edâs hand fell on Eddyâs shoulder, his grip tight.
âEdd, wake up!â
âEddyâŚâ Ed was also crying trying to pull his friend away.
âNo. No, no, NO!â Eddy hollered in disbelief, stomping his fist into the dirt. âWake up, Dee! You were just alive, invincible! You could lift heavy objects like you were the Hulk! You saved May! You avoided getting killed by Bro! And now you risked your own damn life to save my ass! Stop fooling around and wake up!â Eddy hollered into Eddâs face.
Still, no response.
Eddy felt another hand fall on his shoulder.
âOh, Eddy, at least heâs in peace,â Came Mayâs heartbroken voice.
âYeah, the rabbitâs gone,â Ed reluctantly agreed. He sniffled. May placed a comforting hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. âIf only⌠there was a way to bring back Double Dee.â
Eddy was silent, bowing his head. His hands gripped the earth still. Ed could just feel his friends body shaking.
âWhat should we do now?â May asked, guilty. She started to cry even more hiding her face behind her hands in shame. Ed got up and hugged her close. They walked a little distance away from the scene trying to gather themselves.
No, Eddy thought to himself. After all theyâd been through. Eddy could just remember Eddâs sobbing voice begging for him to do something when he started to transform once more. He also remembered how in shock Edd was when he learned the nightmarish news that he was the beast plaguing Peach Creek. His face was so pale, guilty. And the way he gave up rendering it useless that he no longer had the capability to put his very own invention back together.
And Eddy was there. He was there when Edd won the award for all his inventions earning a scholarship. When his experiment went wrong. The horrifying scene when he transformed into the were rabbit. And he was there to hold him when he broke down into sobs, admitting defeat. And when he saved his life, taking the bullet.
Eddy held Eddâs limp hand. It wasnât cold. It was still warm.
Thatâs when Eddy remembered!
âOnly the creature will die.â
âThatâs it!â Eddy yelled out grabbing Ed and Mayâs attention.
Eddy pulled out his cologne. It was the smelliest man colgue ever made. Even when Edd was in the deepest sleep heâd immediately wake up, turning up his nose and complaining to Eddy. He could complain all he wanted. Eddy knew Edd loved this smell.
He waft it under Eddâs nose in slow motions. Eddy held his breath, hoping, praying that Edd would respond.
Eddâs nose twitched!
He sniffed. And again. Until he groaned, disgusted!
âEddy?â Edd awoke, confused, lightly hitting Eddyâs hand.
Eddy smiled from ear to ear, sighing in relief.
âDouble Dee, youâre alive!â Ed yelled.
Edd came to and examined his non furry hands. âIt worked. Iâm back to normal!â
Eddy helped him sit up. He grimaced, touching his sore back. Edd held Eddyâs arms for support, staring into his eyes. âYou saved me.â
âSo did you,â Eddy said softly. He held Eddâs soft flesh. He stared at his shirtless chest. Had he always been so beautiful?
Wait a secâŚ
âUh⌠sockheadâŚâ Eddy quickly pointed his eyes south.
Edd questionably followed his gaze and immediately yelped, concealing himself with his legs. He forgot when he turned into the were rabbit his clothes ripped off his body due to his gigantic new form.
Eddy took off his jacket and wrapped it around Eddâs waist.
âThank you, Eddy,â Edd shivered, thankful. He hugged himself trying to keep warm. For any early day in May the air was quite chilly.
Ed draped his own green coat around Eddâs shoulders. âItâs great to have you back, Double Dee!â He happily stated patting his friends shoulder.
âOh, my golden carrot award!â May pointed out. She picked up the now battered gold medal which she had designed just for this occasion. She stared lovingly at it.
âWell,â she started, âIâm sorry your melon was destroyed, Edd. Still it was used for a good cause. I think all three of you deserve this.â
âThanks, bunny!â Ed said to her. Then they all laughed, immediately seeing the irony in the situation.
May bent down to Ed. She kissed him. âYou saved me.â
âWe graduate in a week,â Eddy pointed out. It was random, but so much had been going on that he actually forgot.
âItâs not going to be easy leaving in a few months,â Edd tiredly declared. He was leaned against Eddyâs shoulder as the other held him close, keeping him warm.
Eddyâs grip around his shoulders tightened. âAfter this I donât even want to let you go.â
Ed stood up. He took May by the hand. âIâm going to get the car,â Ed suggested. He was eying Edd and Eddy however. May too. âIâll back it up right to the tent so nobody will see you.â
âThank you, Ed.â Edd still flushed in embarrassment.
Ed and May exited the tent leaving Edd and Eddy alone. Despite the awkward situation Edd turned and looked at Eddy who still held him tenderly. Arguably he liked this.
âYou saved me, Eddy,â Edd said softly, placing his arms around Eddyâs neck.
âAnd you actually sacrificed yours for me.â
âOf course I would! Iâd take a bullet for you any day!â Edd declared.
Eddy smiled. âThat makes two of us.â
They were silent. Edd noticed the remaining tears under Eddyâs eyes. He still looked quite shaken.
âEddy?â
âYep?â
âI-I...love you.â
Eddy answered him with a kiss.
#ed edd n eddy#eene#eene fanfiction#EddEddy#EdMay#Wallace and Gromit#Wallace and Gromit The Curse of the Were Rabbit#crossover
17 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Which Iconic DreamWorks Character Are You, Based On Your MBTI
Frequently overshadowed by more well-known studios such as Pixar and Disney, DreamWorks is the unsung genius behind several fan-favorite, childhood-defining films. DreamWorks movies tend not to be as big and over-the-top as that of Disney's, and DreamWorks certainly doesn't receive as much appreciation as it deserves.
This film company was the mastermind behind Shrek, the brilliance behind Wallace And Gromit, and the true genius that brought you How To Train Your Dragon.
It's time to give DreamWorks some appreciation. Let's take a look at some of the most iconic characters from the studio, their personalities and MBTI alignments, and see which one you'd be, based on your MBTI.
10 Spirit (Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron) - INTJ (The Mastermind)

When considering iconic films that probably shaped your childhood, Spirit is far too often overlooked. Disregarding the recent Netflix series based on the film, this beautifully animated movie was heartwarming and unforgettable.
RELATED: 25 Disney and DreamWorks Voice Actors That Look (Almost) Exactly Like Their Characters
Spirit, the titular lead horse, went on a captivating journey in this film. Narrated by Matt Damon, Spirit broke the mold of several animated animal movies in favor of portraying the horses in a realistic way. Spirit was shown to have a personality identical to that of a INTJ; he had a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others.
9 Eep Crood (The Croods) - ENTJ (The Commander)

The Croods hit theaters in 2013. Following the lives and adventures of a family of cavemen and featuring an all-star cast that included Emma Stone and Nicholas Cage, the film was a significant success. Eep was the lead of the movie, and her storyline revolved around seeking change in her lifestyle and discovering a better world.
RELATED: 20 Wild Details About The Making Of DreamWorks Cartoon Movies
Nothing quite captures Eep's essence better than the description of a ENTJ; she was a strategic leader, motivated to organize a major change in her family's lives. She was the only one who saw the inefficiency of the caveman lifestyle and she conceptualized a new solution.
8 Toothless (How To Train Your Dragon) - ISFJ (The Protector)

Toothless was unarguably the most iconic character to come from How To Train Your Dragon. The film was a massive hit, released in theaters in 2010 and quickly spawning a franchise of its own. Toothless is one of the most beloved characters that DreamWorks ever created.
RELATED: 10 DreamWorks Logic Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words
Being a goofy, loving companion to Hiccup, Toothless' personality best fits the ISFJ category. This sweet, lovable dragon is at heart, a fierce protector. Toothless is practical, compassionate, and caring, as well as a wonderful caretaker.
7 RJ (Over The Hedge) - ESFP (The Performer)

In 2006, Bruce Willis and Steve Carell humorously starred in Over The Hedge, a film that was inspired by a simple little comic strip. The movie brought the characters and setting to life in a spectacular way, and Over The Hedge is often regarded as one of DreamWork's underrated gems.
RELATED: The 10 Best DreamWorks Animated Movies Of All Time, According To IMDb
RJ is best known for being a shamelessly opportunistic raccoon. He's the leader of the rest of the animals and thinks of himself as being quite superior. RJ fits the description of a ESFP; he is energetic and fun, as well as spontaneous and engaging.
6 Princess Fiona (Shrek) - INFP (The Healer)

Today, Shrek is still regarded as one of the best animated films ever made. Enjoyable for both children and adults alike, the film (and its multiple sequels) is a fun, entertaining watch. Fiona was a fiery red haired princess who lived in Far Far Away with her parents. That is, until a curse was cast on her, causing her to take the form of an ogre at twilight.
Fiona had a freshly complex, multidimensional personality. She was first portrayed as a stereotypical princess, but later on in the film, her true colors came to light. Fiona best fits the description of a INFP; she is loyal, independent, and an imaginative idealist.
5 Shrek (Shrek) - ENFP (The Champion)

Before he met Fiona, Shrek was just your typical swamp ogre who spent the majority of his time scaring villagers. As the film goes on, he meets his future best friends, Donkey and Puss in Boots, and of course, the love of his life, Fiona.
RELATED: 1o Perfect Gifts For The Shrek Fan In Your Life
Shrek's evolution throughout the film series is undeniably an unforgettable one. He goes from living a lonely, solitary lifestyle to being a happy husband and father. Shrek has an ideal ENFP personality; he is energetic, warm, and passionate, as well as having a contagious enthusiasm.
4 Roddy (Flushed Away) - ISTP (The Composer)

Flushed Away was a 2006 film in which Hugh Jackman voiced the lead character, Roderick St. James. Roddy was portrayed as being ridiculously pampered and catered to by his owners, yet quite lonely. He lived a solitary lifestyle and was fairly isolated in the English apartment which he took up residence.
The film's concept revolved around Roddy's eventually rebelling against his wealthy family when he gets flushed down the toilet. He meets new friends and his true colors begin to come out. Roddy fits the description of a ISTP; he lives in the present moment and becomes quite cheerful and spontaneous.
3 Po (Kung Fu Panda) - INFJ (The Counselor)

Po's journey and evolution is certainly one of the most beloved and popular of any DreamWorks character. Living his early life as a modest, humble, and unrelentingly enthusiastic worker at his parents' noodle shop, Po set his sights on bigger dreams: kung fu.
RELATED: 10 Voices We Forgot Were Behind Our Favorite Animated Movies
Po was portrayed as being brave, gentle, and unwaveringly kind. He best suits the alignment of a INFJ, as he has a genuine passion and talent for helping others.
2 Barry B. Benson (The Bee Movie) - ESTP (The Dynamo)

People's views and reactions to The Bee Movie still vary to this day, despite the fact that the film was released twelve years ago. The Bee Movie was and still is considered to be quite the anomaly, and it undeniably made its mark, disregarding how utterly strange and ludicrous it was.
RELATED: 20 Ridiculous DreamWorks Fan Theories (That Could Actually Be True)
Barry B. Benson was portrayed as being an unapologetic rebel. He grows tired of the mundane life of a bee and decides to dream bigger. He heads the big city and sets his sights on the exciting lifestyle of a human. Being an energetic thrill-seeker and brimming with unbridled ambition, Barry the Bee best fits the description of a ESTP.
1 Wallace (Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit) - INTP (The Architect)

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit was probably the most unique, quirky film that DreamWorks ever produced. It's a breath of fresh air, and was artfully crafted with claymation and stop-motion. Wallace was the main character of the film, along with his pet dog, Gromit.
Wallace was an inventor. He was a true INTP due to his analytical personality and philosophical demeanor.
NEXT: 10 Movies You Didn't Realize Were Made By DreamWorks
source https://screenrant.com/dreamworks-character-iconic-mbti/
1 note
¡
View note
Text
Thoughts : Upcoming Films 2019 (January - June)

Iâve started digging around seeing what 2019 holds in store for us movie fans, and man oh man do we have a lot to look forward to... so much, in fact, that what was meant to be a comprehensive 2019 list has turned into a six-month preview due to the volume of releases I have opinions on. Without further ado, here are my thoughts about upcoming first half of 2019 releases.
Possible Gems
The Lego Movie 2 : The Second Part (February 1) : This just looks like fun, and a ton of it.
Alita : Battle Angel (February 14) : Initially, I had my reservations about this anime being remade into a live-action motion picture, but after the first round of previews, it seems to be set enough in its own style to possible work.
Captain Marvel (March 8) : No need for âpossibleâ, this will more than likely be amazing. It will also be a table-setter for the inevitable atomic bomb of entertainment that is Avengers : Endgame.Â
Under the Silver Lake (April 19) : Wrote an entire blog entry on this one. Nice job releasing it near 4-20, hopefully they donât change the release date YET AGAIN.
Avengers : Endgame (April 26) : The one that most of us have been waiting for, and waiting for quite a long time. This should be a benchmark moment in the MCU, as it will more than likely serve as the close of one chapter and the beginning of a new one for the MCU and its vast range of stories to tell.
Pokemon : Detective Pikachu (May 10) : Ryan Reynolds has found his groove in a major way it seems, and this film looks like it will keep his successful run of ridiculousness alive and well. Possibly the most intriguing film of the year.
John Wick 3 : Parabellum (May 17) : Watch out Tom Cruise, because it seems like Keanu Reeves is aiming square at the top spot in terms of domestic action franchises. The John Wick series continues to gain momentum with each film, getting bigger and more badass with each entry, so the third one should really hold some big shock and awe for us all.
Toy Story 4 (June 21) : Word on the street is that you better bring all of your tissues to this affair.
The Intriguing
Glass (January 18) : Just when we thought M. Night Shyamalan was done with the twists, Split left us with a little something to thing about... cut to a couple of years later, and that seed has grown into a full-fledged motion picture that is bringing together the M. Night Cinematic Universe we didnât know existed (and didnât know we were dying to explore). In a career full of ups and downs, wins and losses, this is poised to be an early big win in 2019.
Happy Death Day 2U (February 14) : Iâm not quite sure how I feel about this sequel... it took me a while to get around to the original, and I did enjoy it, but it seems like a one-off kind of idea. Who knows, maybe theyâll find ways I am not thinking of to dig new ground out of this premise... I guess weâll all have to wait and see.
Us (March 15) : Had someone told me 5 years ago that Jordan Peele of Key & Peele fame would be the modern day equivalent of Rod Serling or Alfred Hitchcock, I would have laughed long and hard. After the success of Get Out, however, and the very unsettling trailer for Us, that statement seems like a certified fact.Â
The Beach Bum (March 22) : Harmony Korine and Matthew McConaughey are both riding hot streaks right now with no end in sight, seemingly. Maybe, with their powers combined (as well as a ton of cameos and supporting start talent), the streak will continue through 2019.
Hellboy (April 12) : Not sure if I can put this in the remake category, as it seems to be more of a second run at a film franchise for this beloved comic series. The buzz so far seems positive... letâs see if the finished product can match the hype!
Missing Link (April 12) : The first preview for a 2019 animated film that I may actually want to go see. The animation reminds me of Wallace and Gromit, and the humor looks like itâll appeal to both children and adults.Â
The Kid (May 24) : I have no idea what this is about, but seeing Vincent DâOnofrio in the directorâs chair has me interested immediately. Seeing Chris Pratt starring has my head spinning in terms of the possible chemistry between these two. Iâll have to look more into this one.
Godzilla : King of Monsters (May 31) : The Godzilla remakes have slowly but surely gotten better, and now that they are opening up the possibility to the other monsters in that canon, we may have some fun on our hands for years to come.
Men in Black : International (June 14) : Tessa Thompson? Yes please. Plus, Thompson and Chris Hemsworth have displayed great chemistry in the past, and we know this series works in terms of an Odd Couple scenario, so whatâs not to love about this series continuing? Couldâve done without the Fergie song in the promos, though.
Son of Shaft (June 14) : The Superfly update in 2018 worked surprisingly well, so why not take a stab at continuing the legacy of Shaft thatâs been committed to film already? This film is supposed to pick up where the Samuel L. Jackson entry left off, and with not trailer material out yet, I donât have enough to base a judgement on, so I will go on pure speculation for placement on this list.
Should They Remake This?
What Men Want (February 8) : I feel like Taraji P. Henson is too good for a remake of the Mel Gibson vehicle What Men Want. The premise is dated, and Henson will potentially have to dumb down her abilities to fit it. Thankfully, her pedigree is (hopefully) strong enough to survive what feels like an automatic âLâ.
Dumbo (March 29) : Disney has already committed to a run of live-action remakes for their classic animated films. While the film fan in me knows these will probably be cool, the purist in me wishes theyâd leave well enough alone.
Pet Sematary (April 5) : For a writer as prolific as Stephen King, why stick to books that have previously be adapted? Whereâs that The Girl That Loved Tom Gordon movie that I (and probably only I) have been waiting for?Â
Aladdin (May 24) : Why remake all these Disney films, especially in the same year? And, why Guy Ritchie?
Rocketman (May 31) : 2019... the year of the Disney remake, it seems.
Childâs Play (June 21) : Part of the charm of the original Childâs Play series is the dated nature of the series. Rebooting this series gives me the fear that we are inching towards Saw territory for what was formerly a campy horror delight.
Red Flags
Tyler Perryâs A Madea Family Funeral (March 1) : I hate to be mean spirited, but I hope that the funeral is for the Madea film franchise.Â
Shazam! (April 5) : Has Warner Brothers really done anything at all to install faith in the DCEU? Short of Wonder Woman 2, I donât see a winner in their future.Â
Dark Phoenix (June 7) : Sony and the X-Men film franchise has been in trouble for a long time, and Dark Phoenix does not look like itâs going to right the ship. It may be time to put this series to rest and allow the X-Men to come home to the MCU, where they will (more than likely) be given the cinematic treatment that they deserve.
0 notes
Text
Late Summer Catch-up
Quick reviews of a number of films I saw in the last month or so.
Little Women (1994) - Surprisingly, my first time encountering the narrative of Little Women in any form. I canât compare this version to any other or to the book, but it seemed pretty great in its own right. Charming work by a large, excellent cast, including Winona Ryder, Christian Bale, Kirsten Dunst, Gabriel Byrne, Susan Sarandon, and others. I admired the filmâs reverent but lively approach to its story.
March of the Penguins - Man, those poor little penguins. This is an amazing document of one of the absolute harshest things in nature. Iâm glad Iâm not a penguin - it seems like far too much work.

Their Finest - A thoroughly enjoyable film about a young womanâs particular contribution to the British war effort in World War II: she helps to write the screenplay for a film meant to help the nationâs morale. The film is a funny, smart, and sometimes quite moving look at the ways in which people have to work together and believe in certain ideals in order to win a war.

Thelma - An excellent, original, utterly hypnotic drama/thriller from Norwegian director Joachim Trier. I donât want to give anything way, but I highly recommend this movie, which blends genre elements into a metaphorical take on sexuality. Eili Harboe is great in the title role. The movie has echoes of certain classics, including Carrie, but itâs still very much its own thing.
The Founder - This is a slick, entertaining bio-pic about Ray Kroc, the man who, starting in the 1950s, turned McDonaldâs into the global fast-food franchise we all know today. Michael Keaton gives one of his best recent performances as the fast-talking and unscrupulous Kroc. Kroc was clearly not always an honest or decent businessman, but his impact on the way we live now is undeniably huge.
Early Man - Another delightful, earnest, visually amazing, and incredibly silly movie from Wallace & Gromit creator Nick Park. The film is even goofier and broader than any of his earlier films, but that basic silliness is part of its charm. Aardman Studioâs lovingly-crafted stop-motion animation never, ever gets old.

Lucky - An utterly perfect career capstone for the late character actor Harry Dean Stanton. Youâve probably seen Stanton in films and shows like Alien, The Straight Story, and Twin Peaks: The Return, but he almost never got leading roles, and certainly never one as tailor-made for him as this one. He plays a cantankerous old man in a small Western town, going about his life with stubborn independence. Stanton shouldâve gotten an Oscar nomination for this role. Plus, the movie has an appearance by David Lynch in which he delivers a very passionate monologue about a tortoise. What else could you want?
Gifted - This melodrama with McKenna Grace as a little girl who happens to be a math genius and Chris Evans as her regular-guy uncle is a textbook example of a pretty good, but not great, film. The plot takes turns that are clearly outrageous in a realistic sense and that are obviously contrived for maximum dramatic impact, but the performances are so good and so likable that the movie kind of works anyway.
The Hitmanâs Bodyguard - This movie should have been good, but alas really isnât. It has two wonderful actors, Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds, who are both given lesser versions of shtick from previous movies to do in a generic plot. Jackson is just doing a broader, dumber version of Jules from Pulp Fiction, while Reynolds is doing Diet Deadpool. Thereâs a pretty good and intense chase sequence towards the end, but thatâs not enough to recommend the movie as a whole.

Happy Death Day - I enjoyed every minute of this knowingly goofy slasher twist on Groundhog Day. The premise - a sorority girl keeps re-living the same day, which always ends in her getting murdered by a masked maniac - is clever, and the movie wrings a lot of dark humor and thrills out of the idea. The old slasher tropes lost their power to be truly scary a long time ago, but they can still be a lot of fun in the hands of smart filmmakers.
Land Ho! - Eh, this small-scale character study about two older ex-brothers-in-law going on vacation in Iceland is agreeable, but itâs neither hilarious nor particularly profound. Itâs a quiet and decent-enough movie, but doesnât make too much of a lasting impression.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - Okay, so I do have to admit that this movie turned out better than I expected it to, but I do still have some criticisms. This film goes for more of a straight comedy tone than the Robin Williams original did, and itâs fairly successful at doing so. Jack Black in particular gives his best purely comedic performance in years, but Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, and Karen Gillan all do solid work too. My biggest complaint is that, for a movie with the Jumanji name, it doesnât actually have as much animal action as it should. One of the big challenges they have to face is just a bunch of faceless henchmen on motorcycles. Really? Motorcycles? Where are the lions?!

Ainât Them Bodies Saints - I finally got around to seeing David Loweryâs first film, after really liking his Peteâs Dragon and thinking his A Ghost Story was one of the best films of 2017. This debut film isnât quite as cohesive as Peteâs Dragon or as memorable and profound as A Ghost Story, but itâs still clearly the work of a talented and sensitive filmmaker with a real poetic sensibility. Casey Affleck and Rooney Mara both do solid work here, as does the always-underappreciated Keith Carradine.Â
Hidden Figures - This is, for better and worse, pretty much exactly the movie I expected it to be. It tells the genuinely interesting and worthy story of three African American women who worked at NASA in the 1950s and early 1960s and had to deal with entrenched racism and sexism as they worked to help America win the space race. Itâs a handsomely made movie with genuinely fantastic performances by Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monae. On the other hand, itâs also utterly conventional in its style, and the ways in which it manipulates the true story for dramatic convenience and panders to the modern audience are pretty obvious. Itâs a nice, accessible movie about people who definitely deserved to have a movie made about them, but itâs not artistically ground-breaking.
Battle of the Sexes - Similar to Hidden Figures in some ways, this is a nice, appealing, conventional movie about historically significant people. The movie focuses on the much-hyped 1973 âBattle of the Sexesâ tennis match between Billie Jean King (Emma Stone) and Bobby Riggs (Steve Carell). The movie clearly emphasizes the patronizing sexism that King had to face, and gives a surprising amount of attention to her secret same-sex relationship with Marilyn Barnett. Itâs actually one of the more sustained depictions of a lesbian relationship Iâve seen in a big Hollywood movie, and the film deserves some credit for that. Steve Carell is pretty funny as Riggs, though he is understandably more of a supporting character here.
0 notes
Text
What I'm excited for coming soon (TADC episode 2, SpongeBob, and Wallace & Gromit and more)
Okay, I'm going to start with The Amazing Digital Circus episode 2 since it's all my friends and I are thinking about. Just when I didn't think it was going to be better than the first one, I really trust Glitch and Gooseworx with this! I saw the trailer and I'm way more excited, in fact, maybe a little too much. I just know it's going to be fun and hilarious! Although I'm worried that Pomni might get abstracted, I don't want her to abstract. She's one of my favorites but I don't want anyone to abstract really. I'm too attached to these characters! Also, I saw those moments with Ragatha and Princess Loolilalu meeting each other and I love to see girls supporting girls in anything. I find it very healing to my inner child, and also I just like the girl power, it's so refreshing to see! Also, I heard that this will focus more on Jax, who's kind of a jerk sometimes and maybe they'll give him a softer side here, or something to make people feel bad for him, and I like that idea to show that not everyone is all bad or all good. Also, Jax has been stuck in the digital world since he was a teen so you can't help but to feel bad for him. Another thing, that candy elephant thing looks cool and I really hope Gumigoo is voiced by Tustin Macafee. If he's not, it's fine, but I can't think of anyone better for the voice role than Tustin!
As for the new SpongeBob movie, it's gonna be released in theaters and the OG team is going to come back (except for the creator, who sadly passed away a while ago). I heard something that one of the directors said that there will be nudity in the new SpongeBob movie, but I hope he was joking.
Also, I love that they're making fun of AI with this new Wallace & Gromit movie. As an artist, I think people overdo it with AI and that I think we should stop using it for art purposes unless it's only to mess around with and not actually use. I hope they make fun of Disney too. Imagine making fun of both AI and Disney, in an Aardman movie! That'd be awesome! Also, I heard Nick Park wasn't going to work on it at first but he decided to come back (I think he changed his mind after the new Chicken Run 2) and I really hope Wallace & Gromit makes more money than Chicken Run 2.
Also, I'm not much of a Disney fan so I don't care much about the Inside Out sequel or Moana sequel. I think they're really unnecessary, however, I have more hope for the Inside Out sequel than the Moana one, even though I do like Moana better. I feel like Disney should just stick to Kiff and that Molly Magee show or whatever its called, because those are the only two good things that Disney still has left. (Obviously, I'm religious and don't watch shows with ghosts, so I'm just more interested in Kiff but both shows are better than Disney's movies rn).
Finally, the last Bluey episode... I haven't watched it yet and I hear it's really emotional. I don't think I'm prepared for that so I'll stick to watching my favorites, like the beach one. I just hope they don't end Bluey yet, it's the only good kid shows that's still running. Plus, it's from Australia and they deserve to make a lot of money off this show, even though greedy Disney is involved in airing it in my country. I support the foreign shows all the way!
Tell me your thoughts! PLEASE CHAT WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS, ESPECIALLY YOU TADC FANS! DON'T HIDE!
#tadc pomni#the amazing digital circus#tadc episode 2#tadc#spongebob#bluey#wallace & gromit#my thoughts
44 notes
¡
View notes