#AND REGRETS IT IMMENSELY

[baconcolacan]

Was thinking about Ellsworld and it turned to Tori. Sooooooo

✨Headcanon time!!✨

We don’t know much ‘bout Tori other than the few crumbs of drawings we have of her apparently traveling. I know some people HC its more of a front for her doing RA stuff but consider:

It’s her ultimate Touch Grass moment.

I like to think Tori is much like her male counterpart, a shut in nerd with questionable tastes who would rather hide in her own filth than ever taste the light of day and see, ugh, people.

Maybe somewhere along the way, she started noticing that she had a problem, amongst all the hoarded figurines and complete utter dank darkness of her room. Maybe Ell decided to have a sit down with her and address her concerns about Tori’s impending hikki status.

And Tori, being the cringe anime nerd bird that she is, takes things to the extremes. Ell says “Maybe you should take short walks now and then.”? She’ll take the ULTIMATE walk! To make up for all the years of NOT walking!

Your Drill Will Break The Heavens!! And all that motivational anime crap.

By the end of it, she already committed to this roundabout touch grass extravaganza, and its WAY too late to back out now. She hates every second, but she gotta see it through to the end for you Kamina weep sob

Shes a shut in nerd with no muscle mass, baby girl is SUFFERING in this overcommitment.

She comes back JACKED but she totally thinks it wasnt worth missing the next episodes of Kimetsu no Yaiba. Abs dont do shit for her mental health, please Ell just let her go through her trashy escapism isekai PLEASE.

The rest of the girls think its awesome though, Tori just wants to crawl back under the covers.

[queddadraw]

You spilled bonk on my suit

[polarsirens]

I should never have made you.

[pansyfemme]

sometimes i want to drop out so bad it kills me

[fatedroses]

Zenos viator Galvus and him trying to deal with actually feeling things for once (Even if he doesn't really understand how to handle the comfort he receives from others for it)

I am also giving this man a dad that actually cares, because this brainworm have gotten me and there is no saving me from them.

[ayedah]

kieferberg days 🥨 (shop link)

[surreal-duck]

es rarepair week day 6 - holiday/shopping

i think about the flambé santa bears a normal amount

[skunkes]

the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

[4ngel-f4ngzz]

i want to kill myself and have my friends invite him to my funeral so he can feel the most immense regret in the world. I want him to have a front row seat. i want him to look at my open casket and know he could’ve prevented it. i want him to feel guilt. i want him to feel like it was his fault. i want him to feel sick over me like how i felt sick over him. i want him to see the pain on all of my friends and families faces and think its his fault because it is. i want him to know the pain of grief.

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[nightfal1n]

Day left until chapter 112

10 days

[goldenwaves]

miss oranje disco dancer

[communistkenobi]

sometimes I think oh actually being completely estranged from both of my parents is getting less painful now and then I see a tiktok about a guy showing off a beautiful present his daughter made for him and i have to stop watching the video so I don’t cry

[ruderubicante]

T'is I, a bug.

[bearotonin-international]

Hi, hello, I hope everyone is having a good day

Juste wanted to ask if you had any pandas you would be willing to share with the world.

we suppose we can share an occasional bear or two

[headfullof-ideas]

Fontaine and Ant meet their future partners in…very different ways

Fontaine and Nate meet during a festival at the coastal village he lives at, on an island not a days trip from the Aronnax’s base and where a number of the Nektons family friends also happen to live, leading to frequent visits.

Meanwhile, Ant and Kari meet at the college Kari’s dad works at, and where a number of the Nektons interns attend for school.

Their first meeting with one another is…about as chaotic as the pair of them are together, and not off to the same start as Fontaine and Nate’s was. And due to Kari’s dad being one of the (if less liked) scientists stationed at the Aronnax’s base that works for the WOA, and Kari spending her summers at the college he does his research at, they have a fair number more interactions than either of them want at first.